#i think about this scene a lot tbh

[vampiredulac]

because evan lives in my head rent free btw

[ncwblue]

"Sneaking. Sneaking. Sneaking."

A sigh escapes him as Agent Washington resigns himself to the inevitable headache that would be coming on. He had been around the Reds and Blues long enough -- been around Caboose long enough -- to know they weren't exactly the best at following orders. While Carolina was off looking for God knows what, Wash had ordered the simulation troopers to stay within the temple; get some rest. Partially because there wasn't much to be looking out for. Mostly to get some peace and quiet.

It didn't last long.

"Hello, Caboose," Wash greets the simulation trooper flatly.

"Hello, Agent Washington." Caboose continued to speak in that hushed tone despite having already been caught. Wasn't wasn't even going to try to come up with an explanation for it. It was better not to question or think about anything Private Caboose ever did.

"Caboose," Wash says again, turning toward him, "you know you're supposed to be in the temple with the rest of your squad."

The simulation trooper stayed put, crouched down on the ground as if he were still trying to sneak up on him. "Um, yes, uh, but you see, uh... I am spying on you."

Another sigh. "And why are you spying on me, Caboose?" Not that he was anyone to talk.

"Uh, yes, well, since everyone is kinda scared of you and, uh, Carolina... We figured we should try and get as much information on you guys as possible, so, uh... Where do you guys see yourselves in, uh, five to ten years?"

That was not the sort of information that could be obtained by spying, though Wash keeps that to himself. Where did he see himself in ten years? That was a joke. He hadn't expected to see the light of another day after setting off that EMP, and he assumed the Reds and Blues would have rightfully left him to die in the cold at Sidewinder.

No, Wash had no concept of what his future looked like. He couldn't even be sure of what tomorrow would look like. Not that it mattered much.

"Caboose," Wash continued, "you realize that when you spy on someone, no one is actually supposed to know you're spying on them, right?"

The simulation trooper stood up, almost excitedly so, as he abandons the hushed tone. "Oh, yeah, I know. I just figured you wouldn't tell anyone."

"Wait, what makes you think that?"

Caboose stuttered for a moment. "Oh, I, come on, Agent Washington. I'm pretty sure we can trust you. I mean, we are friends." On that final word, Caboose walks off, leaving Wash in a briefly stunned silence.

"Friends..." Right. Another word Wash wasn't so sure he knew the meaning of anymore, and a part of him wasn't entirely sure Caboose actually knew it, either.

Wash had given the Reds and Blues absolutely no reason to trust him. He had done everything from belittling them to outright trying to kill them. He actually had killed one of the Reds, and technically one of the Blues if he counted Alpha. Wash had dragged them all over the planet on a mission they wanted nothing to do with, and he was doing it all over again on behalf of Carolina -- somebody they didn't trust. Somebody they feared. The others feared him, too.

According to Caboose, at least, but Wash was at least willing to bet on that much.

In spite of that, they helped him. No matter how hard he thought about it, Wash would never understand why the Reds and Blues saved him on Sidewinder. It certainly wasn't to "even the teams", because despite the roles they were comfortable playing there were no teams. At some point he stopped thinking about it, and maybe he should just be grateful.

He hadn't done a very good job of showing his gratitude. Maybe he just didn't know how to show it. Not when he believed with his entire being that he should have died back then.

For the first time in days, Wash lowered his weapon, holstering it to his back. He had never liked removing his helmet, and yet he finds himself doing so. The face staring back at him in the visor is all but unrecognizable; the cut on his brow a reminder of the fight that should have been his last.

His squad back in the project were his friends. Some of them. Maybe none of them, if he were willing to think about it. They had left him in Freelancer, and perhaps if it hadn't been for Epsilon he might have genuinely believed everything the Director told him, and he would still be in jail. (Not that he was ready and willing to open that book.)

Still, Caboose called him a friend. Wash felt like a machine that hadn't quite processed human emotion. How ironic. He supposed the simulation troopers were as close to friends as he would ever have again. They didn't deserve what happened to them; didn't deserve what they -- what he -- put them through. Yet they adapted and survived, either by pure dumb luck (dumb was certainly a word for it) or absolute trust and faith in one another that they didn't even know they had.

Perhaps that's why he felt his loyalty and trust in Carolina slipping. Maybe that's why he held up his gun to the back of her head. Wash knew Tucker; he was his friend. Wash didn't know Carolina. Not anymore.

Maybe he never did.

[hinamie]

"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"

some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3

[lazycranberrydoodles]

memes i drew on my phone (cause class is kicking my ass) / follow if you don't want to get drenched in blood

[mrinafria]

And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you. (CoS)

[contains spoilers; tw: blood]

When they ask me about the purest love story out there, I'd show them these two.

It's not the sacrifice per se that makes it great for me, it's the way they feel about each other, about the love they give and receive. Even in their last/worst moments, they somehow find the courage because the other one is safe? Im Sol is scared out of her mind handling this traumatic ordeal on her own so she seeks help from the detectives. Her only peace of mind is that at least Seon Jae is safe. Then she learns about his phone call and doesn't spare a second to run. The same girl who was so scared a while back throws all caution out of the window the moment Seon Jae is in danger, because she'd risk her life than Seon Jae's. Can you imagine the trauma seeing him dying for the third time, and her actually witnessing it this time around? If I were Im Sol, I would do anything to not have to go through that too. Even if it meant losing the person so they were never my person to begin with.

And Seon Jae. Boy is dying. Dying. You can see it in his eyes that he's aware of it too and yet, he is so grateful? So at peace with himself and with life? Like he has no regrets about any unfinished business, unlived years, unattained dreams, unspoken words to his loved ones. He already told Im Sol he loved her, and she reciprocated. That was enough. For him, that was good enough.

I go back to this scene like a masochist because THE DETAILS. By the time Im Sol arrives, you know Seon Jae is beyond saving. He knows it too. He's not even trying to escape or save himself. It looks like he's been holding on on his own for a while. His face has turned ashen, breathing uneven, hands slightly shaking. He's barely holding it together. Barely there.

However, he is not trying to push that guy away or take that knife out.

Instead, he's holding that guy's hand.

Let that sink in for a moment.

He is holding on to that hand. JUST SO HE CAN HOLD ON TO THE GUY.

Since the taxi driver is at an advantage here, and Seon Jae knows he cannot fight back anymore, so he is using whatever he can as a last resort to keep the guy occupied with him, and keep him from going after Im Sol. Seon Jae could perhaps guess Im Sol would arrive any time since the cliff was where he'd found her earlier, sitting in shock. But even if she didn't make it, you can bet he'd have spent his last breaths trying to fall off the cliff taking the guy down with him. THIS SCENE. The resolution is so clearly etched on his face.

And then he sees her. And the detectives. She is safe. She is saved. He did it. He saved her. And it's the Im Sol who knows him, who recognizes him, who loves him. She is safe, and that's all that matters. He saved the person he loves more than his life, literally.

His job is done. The choice he made gave him the outcome he wanted and desperately fought for.

And he is exhausted. All that resolve took a lot out of him. So we see his body finally giving up, him finally letting go. He resigns to his fate, but also not in a resentful way. He knew this was his fate all along (because no matter what choice Im Sol made, he'd choose to run toward her any day), it just happened earlier than expected. But he knew it, and he still made that choice. He doesn't regret it because he'd be making the same choice in every timeline (as he has been). He is able to see his Im Sol for one last time before his eyes close, with memories of their time together and Im Sol's voice echoing in his ears, his soul.

Sometimes you know the consequences, but make the same choice anyway. Because you like it.

The faint smile on his face in his final moments before he falls off the cliff? You'd think the boy won a gold medal for swimming or something. It's like he's achieved the biggest purpose there was in his life besides loving Im Sol. True to his words, he is grateful Im Sol exists in the world. That he got the chance to love her because she exists in this world. And he is thankful he gets to leave the world knowing Im Sol still exists in the world, his gift from the heavens.

One is jumping through space and time, living the same nightmare, constantly, over and over again, and yet going out of her way to save her love. Even if it means carrying the trauma and heartbreak and pain and loneliness and longing of three, four, multiple timelines, for the same guy. The other is making the choice to love her through all the storm, all the warnings, all the odds of time and space and fate stacked against him. How could you be so brave when fate is both so very kind and yet so extremely cruel to you no matter what you do? How do you choose to persevere? How do you get to have a love so pure?

Should I be ready to die if I want to be with you? - Ryu Seon Jae

[lbhslefttiddie]

Luo Binghe leaned over the desk, examining the mess of ink and papers, scrolls from the library rolled out haphazardly across the edges of the desk, stacks of prose and poetry copied in Shen Yuan’s shaky handwriting. The topmost stacks were already a bit neater, with Shen Yuan staring with single-minded focus as he moved the brush, trying to imitate the graceful strokes of the original texts. His own work was a mess of ink, not even bothering to let the ink dry properly before he would throw new pages on top. He gripped the bowl of ink in his right hand, held close to his work, both hands stained with the stuff, and Luo Binghe could see smudged black hand prints on the sleeves of his dark robes, a smear of ink across one cheek.

He took a moment to marvel at the fact that, despite the mess on himself and his work, Shen Yuan somehow managed to keep the scrolls he was copying from getting dirty. The amazement was short-lived, though, quickly overtaken by notice of just how tired he looked.

[vforvielka]

unreleased sketches for woowoo wednesday

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Seasons 1-3 » T-shirts

[gay-jesus-probably]

I really love how A Series of Unfortunate Events worked Lemony’s narration into the show by just having him show up for casual exposition, without anyone noticing or acknowledging him. It’s such an integral part of the books, and the story really wouldn’t work as well without an outside narrator wandering in to deliver random tangents about philosophy and word definitions, and repeatedly warning the audience that the story is depressing as fuck.

But probably the best use of Lemony as a narrator is in the second episode of the Austere Academy, where they have Lemony doing his usual thing of showing up in Jacques’s cab to talk about philosophy, and Jacques starts whistling halfway through the monologue. Then Lemony clarifies he’s quoting something his brother said, and he’d give anything to sit and talk with him again. And then the monologue just... stops. The entire episode stops, just to linger on this one scene of Jacques and Lemony whistling a song together. Except they aren’t whistling together, Jacques is driving an empty cab down an empty road and whistling to himself, because Lemony isn’t there. He’s telling the story from a decade in the future, Jacques is long dead, but Lemony needs to pretend otherwise for just a minute. Then the story can continue. It almost feels like he’s stalling, in a way - Lemony wants to live in this moment of Jacques being calm and safe, because in this moment, Jacques is alive, but the story is inevitably moving towards his death.

It’s a really important moment, and honestly might be my favourite scene in the whole show. Lemony’s grief and how it colours every part of the narrative is such an integral part of the story; he’s telling a story about three children he cares about going through hell, and that story begins with the death of the woman he loved, has his brother’s murder in the middle, and ends with his sister’s death. Lemony isn’t involved in the story personally, he’s just the guy telling it in the aftermath, but he’s never a detached narrator. He knows the entire story, and he spends the whole time grieving for things he hasn’t told us yet.

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[add1ctedt0you]

The Untamed - Episode 19

Throughout the night, he [Jiang Cheng] had somehow managed to sleep a couple of times. The first reason was that, having been too tired from crying himself weak, he couldn't help from passing out. The second reason was that he still had the hope that this might be a nightmare. He couldn't wait to wake up after some rest and open his eyes to find himself lying inside of his room back in Lotus Pier. His father would be wiping his sword in the main hall. His mother would be angry again and complaining, scolding Wei Wuxian who winked in a funny way. His sister would be in the kitchen, thinking as hard as she could about what to make today. His shidi would be refusing to do their morning lessons properly and jumping around.

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Chapter 59, Poisons- Part Four

[ilkkawhat]

Fuck it.

[guppygiggles]

Trying to decide if I want Avery as a medical doctor or a university professor in my Sea and Sky AU… I’m honestly leaning teacher, but, um. Both have their. Charms. ////

[kingofanemptyworld]

people concerned with the lack of parents and teachers in the wind breaker universe, I see you and I understand. but I’ll be honest, I didn’t even question it while I was reading, because it sort of… doesn’t matter? in the context of the story. the people who’ve addressed their parents have done so purely for plot reasons, so if their home life isn’t relevant to the plot, we don’t need to see it. which, yeah, makes you worry about these 16-18 year old kids running around beating the shit out of each other (and grown men) but also I appreciate that extraneous information just isn’t included in the manga. we’re here for character development, the power of friendship, learning to love oneself, and kick-ass fight scenes, and anything else is just a bonus.

[haunted-xander]

tfw ur parental figures are all too busy being evil cult members to parent (or even greet you)

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hey (^-^)/

I have a question: What did Atsushi mean in this panel when he said "the fact that you're the one standing in front of me"? I don't get it.

And why Akutagawa's face seem conflicted by hearing that?

I'm not entirely sure - that line is fairly ambiguous - but I can share my own interpretation! Here, Atsushi is trying to explain Akutagawa that the reason why Dazai has not acknowledged him yet is not, as Akutagawa is convinced of, because he isn't strong enough, and that his being powerful is actually of no interest to Dazai. Atsushi suggests that there's something else Dazai is waiting for Akutagawa to grow better at before acknowledging him, and Akutagawa will only be able to see what it is by keeping himself from killing (likely, what Atsushi is thinking Akutagawa lacks is moral virtue to some extent, compassion and humanity. I feel like that's also consistent with how Dazai sees Akutagawa in Beast, and what believes is wrong with him: “It’s human nature to lash out with violence. But if hurting others is your natural instinct… then you are nothing more than a mindless beast” (Dazai, Beast novel, page 18) ).

Akutagawa so far has believed that everything he could do to be seen by Dazai, was proving his own strength; and that his current situation of not being yet recognized was due to his own limits on that front. With that last line, I think Atsushi is telling him: “The reason you are where you are now [both in terms of his path towards being acknowledged by Dazai and overall current status as conjunction of events that led him to be where he is] has nothing to do with your strength or lack thereof. You're here in front of me [in your current situation that led you to this place in this moment] because there's something you've yet to realize [that would be, once again, that strength is not what Dazai seeks in him but rather for Akutagawa to accomplish a moral step up]”.

Additionally, I think Atsushi might also imply: “The reason you're here in front of me, the reason Dazai decided you had to be here, is so that you could see something you still can't grasp”, since both sskk and the bsd author seem to be fairly assured that everything sskk themselves do is because Dazai wanted them to, in some sort of weird determinism (“Why were you so eager to put Akutagawa-kun against that tiger lad? [...] How long have you been aiming for this scenario?” “From the time I met Atsushi-kun.” (Hirotsu, Dazai, chapter 37); “Why do you think Dazai-san put us together?” (Atsushi, chapter 51); “Dazai-san didn't abandon me after all. This was all a trial. A guidepost, lined with wailing.” (Akutagawa, chapter 85); and even more examples could be made; everything sskk do, seems like it's because Dazai wanted them to at some point.)

The reason why Akutagawa looks so conflicted, then, is probably out of bewilderment for Atsushi's words, for the revelation that proving his strength - that is everything Akutagawa has tried to do since meeting him - is actually not the way to make Dazai acknowledge him.

Here's an alternative fantranslation to the official English translation + the raws of that page for further insight :)