#i think biting something or someone at full force would fix me

[ladykailitha]

Of Butterflies and Backstrokes Part 5

Hey guys!! Things are finally starting to move in this story, I'm not sure how much longer we have, but I just started Eddie's training, so whooo!!

In this we have Eddie being dumb, fixing it, and then apologizing properly! He can be taught!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

~

Robin smacked the back of Steve’s head as she walked past. “No staring. It’s creepy!”

Steve ducked his head and blushed. He had been caught staring so many times today that, yeah, it was starting to be a little creepy now. But in all fairness, Eddie was staring right back. A thought that sent Steve spiraling. But like in a ‘oh shit, that’s hot!’ way.

Which he really, really needed to tamp down on, because yes, the guy was eighteen, but like barely.

“You should just go talk to him,” Robin encouraged gently. Because for all her teasing, she knew how important it was for Steve to talk to him about his swimming.

Steve nodded. He had time until his next class. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. He walked up to Eddie and flashed him his patented Harrington smile.

“Hey, you’re Eddie, right?” he said warmly. “Robin tells me you like to swim on Saturdays, yeah?”

Eddie blinked at him for a moment. “Um, hi. Yup! That’s me. My mom used to call me her little fish.”

Steve grinned. He liked that. He wished his mom had taken that kind of interest in his swimming. “I saw you swimming when I was helping Joyce set up for the party last weekend and you were really good! Did you compete in high school?”

“Nah,” Eddie said with a shrug. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t get someone to take me that early in the morning so I stopped. Competed in middle school, though. I was decent enough, I guess.”

Steve was shocked. To have to stop just when you hit your stride must have been quite the blow.

“That fucking sucks, man,” Steve said with a grimace. He scratched his cheek thoughtfully. “You ever think about competing on the national level? Because I really think you could.”

Eddie rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Yeah, right. I couldn’t afford the coach let alone all the traveling I’d have to do to make it to meets. I’m going to have to pass on that one.”

“There’s actually a program here for people who can’t afford it,” Steve hedged. “Robin used it when we both first started out.” He was fighting back the urge to start biting his nails.

Eddie’s eyes narrowed and Steve gulped. “Is that so?” He nodded. “Well ain’t that nice. Still not interested.”

Steve wished the floor would swallow him or that pool would suddenly flood or that he’d get a brain aneurysm and die, right there on the spot. He pursed his lips together and nodded with his whole upper body. He turned on his heel and walked away.

When he was about to the other side of the pool, Eddie called out, “Who would even want to coach me?”

Steve turned around with a grin. “I would.” Then he spun on his toes and walked out of the pool area to the cool fresh air of the hallway.

~

Once Steve was out of the pool area and into the hall, he had a full on panic attack. He sank to the floor and held his head in his hands. Why the fuck did he offer to coach Eddie? He didn’t know Eddie, he was afraid of deep water, and he hadn’t even talked to Joyce yet.

It was a real mess now, but the words just forced themselves from him and now he wants to gobble them back up. Well maybe they’ll just avoid each other from now on. They had done a pretty good job up to this point, they could just continue as normal and forget all about how Steve made a fool of his himself.

Then slowly he began to come out of his panic attack to the sounds of soft words and the gentle rubbing of his wrists with their thumbs. His breathing evened, his heart rate dropped, and his eyes fluttered open.

The eyes looking back at him were warm chocolate brown and deeply concerned. The angel in front of him said something but Steve couldn’t hear. Then all at once all the sounds came rushing back into the hall. And suddenly there were more people in the hall with him than he thought. In addition to Eddie who was the one holding his hands, Robin and Joyce were there too.

“I think he’s coming around,” Joyce said gently as Steve’s eyes focused on her. “Hey, there, Steve. Are you okay now?”

Steve gulped, nodding. He was feeling better. In fact he didn’t have a pounding headache like he usually had after an episode. “My head doesn’t hurt.” He looked over at Robin in confusion. “Why doesn’t it hurt?”

“Uh...” Eddie said hesitantly. “I might have something to do with that. I used some calming techniques my friend’s dad showed me.”

Steve turned to him, mouth open in awe. “Oh. Thank you.” He didn’t know what to do with that because technically it was his conversation with Eddie which caused the panic attack in the first place. But maybe that’s why Eddie helped, because he knew he’d caused it. That was a nice thought, Steve supposed.

Eddie smiled and stood back up. “I have to get back to work. You take care of yourself, okay Stevie?”

Steve nodded and Eddie slapped his hands on his knees, standing up. He muttered goodbye to the two women and then wandered off.

As Robin helped him to his feet, she said dryly, “I take it the conversation didn’t go well.”

He barked out a laugh causing Joyce to look back and forth between them in confusion. So Steve put her out of her misery. “I was telling him that he was good enough of a swimmer to compete, but I think he thought I was mocking him or something, because he kinda blew me off.”

He rubbed his temples for a moment before adding. “I even offered to coach him.”

Joyce blinked at him for a moment. “You offered what now?”

When he looked up both Robin and Joyce were looking at him with large, wide eyes and slack jaws. “Yeah, that’s kinda what started the panic attack if I’m honest. I know I am like the worst person for the job with all my...” he waved his hand helplessly. Then he snapped his fingers. “Issues. Anyway. It was nice of him to help me out after all that.”

“Dingus...” Robin said with a heavy sigh. “What were you going to do if he accepted?”

Steve grimaced and ducked his head. “Have you help me?” He looked up at her through his eyelashes and batted them, pouting.

Robin pushed his shoulder. “Disgusting!” Then she gave him a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. “Of course I’d help you.”

“I think it would be perfect,” Joyce blurted out. They both turned and looked at her. “This place could use the publicity if I’m honest. There are other pools in Indy that have been bringing in the bigger names. So if Eddie accepts and starts training under five time gold medal champion Steve Harrington...”

“Then this place could start bringing in the big names again,” Robin said. “Not to say that Steve isn’t a big name of his own,” she added when Steve’s face twisted into something like offense.

Steve shook his head. “Which isn’t going to happen because he said no.”

Joyce and Robin sighed. There was that. But they knew they shouldn’t go trying to pressure Eddie into it. Plus, despite how good he was there was no telling he’d be on par or better than his younger peers.

Steve and Robin left Joyce standing there, pondering her dilemma.

~

Eddie chewed on the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. He was grateful that the technique worked, but he was pretty sure that he had caused the attack in the first place. Which was... not good. He could have handled the offer to have him trained to compete a little better. Steve was paying him a compliment and he threw it back in his face as charity. He didn’t need charity not from no one.

There was no two ways about it. He was going to have to apologize. Which was never his strong suit. But he’d do it. He just wasn’t going to take Steve up on his offer. He would see about staying on here as paid help because then he could still have access to his beloved pool.

It took him a couple of days but finally their schedules matched up and Eddie was on his break and Steve had time between classes again.

“Um, hey,” he said timidly, sauntering up to Steve. “I just wanted to apologize for being a bitch on Monday. I was rude and that wasn’t fair.”

A slow smile spread out over Steve’s face. “Thanks. I did just spring it on you without an preamble, so...”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, there was that. But it still was mean and I should have been nicer.”

“Well, you made up for it by helping me with the panic attack afterwards,” Steve said. “I’d say that makes us even.”

“A panic attack I’m pretty sure I caused.”

Steve winced, confirming the worst of Eddie’s suspicion on that one. Steve rubbed his chin thoughtful. “I’ll tell you what, if you teach Robin and Joyce that technique you used to pull me out of my panic attack, then we’ll be even.”

Eddie smiled that sweet closed mouth smile that melted Steve’s insides when he saw it. “Sure thing I can do that. On Saturday before the crew swim. I’ll teach them both.”

Steve’s shoulders relaxed. That was going to be so useful, having multiple people know how to get him out of an attack would make it easier for him to go out in public. Something that was very limited after the incident in Beijing.

“That’ll be great, thanks.”

“You should come too,” Eddie suggested. “I know you don’t like being in the pool, but you could come hang out and have a little fun for a change.”

Steve gasped dramatically. “What do you mean? Isn’t teaching beginning classes meant to be fun?”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. It took him two seconds long than it should have to realize that Steve was joking him. He pushed Steve’s shoulder playfully.

“At least with us,” he teased, “we won’t try and drown you, deliberately or otherwise.”

Steve tilted his head to side and looked at him in confusion. Where the urge to bite those cheeks came from, Eddie will deny knowing until his last breath. “I saw that snotty teenaged little shit try to pull you into the pool. That’s fucked up at hell.”

Steve’s smile was blinding. “Fair enough. I like getting to sleep in on Saturdays, but we’ll see.”

Eddie grinned back. “I never used to get up this early for school. But ya know, keeping out of jail is pretty inspiring.”

“I could see that, yeah,” Steve agreed. “It was the one downside being on the swim team in high school.”

“You went to a regular high school?” Eddie asked tilting his head. “I would have thought after getting fifth in your first Olympics you would have gone to a special school for kids that are huge in sports or whatever?”

Steve blinked at him for a moment. “Do they have schools like that?”

“They do for like actors and shit,” Eddie said with a shrug. “So I assumed they would have something similar for the jocks.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, no. That would have been preferable.” He shook his head. “But no, it’s much more cut throat that than that. Pretty much, schools try and poach students from other schools to make the best sports teams.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, really?”

“Yep!” Steve said beaming at him. He looked up at the clock on the wall. “Look, my next class is about to start. So I really should get going. Especially with Joyce’s son in the class, I don’t want to be late.”

“Why is he starting so late?” Eddie asked. “I would have thought with Joyce being in charge of the rec center and his older brother literally being a trainer too, he would have been in the tots class.”

Steve nodded. “She didn’t get the manager position until five years ago and Will was afraid of the water by then. So they just waited until he was ready.”

“So he’s ready now?” Eddie asked curiously.

“Mhmm,” Steve hummed. “All his friends are going to be in the class with him, so he ready to hop in the pool with them.”

Eddie smiled. “That’s cute.”

That surprised a huff of laughter out him. “Sure is. But don’t tell him that. He’s at the age where cute is akin to baby and well...”

“He’s too old for that?” Eddie finished.

“Yeah.”

“I feel that,” Eddie agreed. “Have fun in your class, and remember you can always make it look like an accident.”

Steve laughed out right at that and waved goodbye. Eddie watched him go feeling better about the whole panic attack thing. Now all he had to do was make sure it never happened again. Or at least not by his own big fucking mouth.

~

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[tojivu]

# OFFICE HOURS ‣ GOJO SATORU

✰ — author’s note i feel so guilty bc gojo is literally the only character i write for LOL anyway this is an old draft from months ago. idk why this is so long im so horrendously down bad for this fucking snowman.

✰ — cw / tags arrogant ceo!gojo x secretary f!reader, sfw, not rly enemies to lovers bc gojo has fat feelings, gojo satoru being a billionaire playboy

✰ — playing death & taxes by daniel caesar.

✰ — word count ~3k LOL

nothing about gojo satoru really strikes you as the serious type.

even in a professional environment, your boss always has a carefree demeanour. his laugh is so nauseatingly loud that you can hear it from outside the office, and you wonder how someone as busy as him manages through his day; much less with a positive attitude. you take one look at his schedule, and you want to vomit with the way you hardly see any gaps between appointments.

you suppose you could learn that from him. it's his only good quality.

you admit that he's likeable, on surface level. there's a reason why you detest him, though: as his closest colleague, you know him way more than you would prefer. most people would think such a well to do man like satoru would have a wife by his side, but that's unfortunately not the case. you almost feel more miserable than him—because now you're forced to be the listening ear and comforting hand at his beck and call.

you think he'd be just fine if he was just a little more humble. he has a nice face. it's his fault for being so stuck up. you know how many women ask him out—painfully aware, actually.

'they just aren't suited to my taste,' he would say to you. 'i need someone that makes me feel alive.'

one time, gojo even asked you to bail him out of a date—something about the way she held her fork and knife disturbed him, and you were expected to show up at the restaurant and act as if there was an emergency.

'i'm so sorry, sweetheart. i have to go, duty calls.' his disgustingly charming tone made you want to slap him then and there.

she called him again the following week, and he completely forgot who she was. he didn't even save her number.

the sheer number of people asking him out had stroked his ego so hard that gojo firmly believes no woman is deserving enough. he rambles on and on to you about how snobby some of them seem, and it takes everything in you to bite your tongue when he does. 'takes one to know one,' you would say, if not for your job at stake.

you think gojo satoru is full of himself. you are a strong believer of that. a witness, as well—it's not like he didn't try his way with you, too. unlike the women he ranted about, you turned him down every single time.

it's been a long while since any of that has happened, though. the most recent ordeal was months ago, but that didn't inherently mean that people stopped asking him out: it just meant that he was rejecting every single offer.

it's a thursday morning when you find yourself eating a sandwich you purchased on the way to work, at your desk—wondering when the big boss will finally arrive. the clock read 9 a.m., and you're expecting an extravagant "good morning!" to surprise you any moment now.

just then, you notice mr. conceited walk in: except something is different. he has no stride in his step. there was no good morning. there was no playful teasing directed at you as he walked past your desk and into his office, not that you were complaining—it was just strange.

you stand up, a mouthful of your sandwich still being chewed. you take a big sip of water and fix your skirt and blouse, making sure your hair is presentable—before swiftly making your way into his office.

──────

"i cannot believe this." he mumbles. you're standing in front of his desk, but he's not facing your direction.

gojo's chair is turned to the giant window that overlooks the business district, and he's gazing out of it thoughtfully. you think this is the cheesiest thing you've seen him do.

you can see how disheveled his hair was, even from where you were standing. you don't want to irritate him further, in case teasing you was still on his to-do list that day.

"what is it, mr. gojo?"

he swivels his chair around, and he is a mess—just what could have he been up to?

"i woke up late today."

"you're the boss, mr. gojo. you can come in any time you want—"

"not the point." he interrupts you. "i forgot my lunch. i was in the car, with the driver, on the way here already. . . and then i realised i left my donuts at home."

gojo's face is absolutely distraught. he looks like he's gone through a divorce and had his house set on fire with how he stands up dramatically—his hands now on his desk. you open your mouth to speak, but he shuts you up by talking again.

"i didn't want to inconvenience him. i'm too thoughtful, miss y/n."

you want to scoff, but you bite your tongue and hold back.

"so i got out of the car and ran back for it," gojo recounts. "i arrived home after the treacherous journey—only to discover that my donuts are gone."

you feign an expression of shock, just to humour him; he gives you an 'i know right' look, and continues his nonsensical story.

"the maids threw them away, miss y/n."

you can't help yourself: you let a small giggle slip through your lips. you quickly use your hand to cover your mouth, thinking of a quick excuse.

you cough. you pretend to, at least—but gojo satoru is not stupid.

no, maybe a little. though, not enough to be convinced of your terrible acting.

"nothing about this is funny."

you nod, looking down at the floor. "i apologise, mr. gojo, but it's just a few donuts. i'm sure someone in the office could fetch some for you."

"yes, i agree." he says, and you shift your gaze from the marble tiling of his office to his face. his hair is a mess, yes—but he still looks revoltingly handsome. his eyes are piercing through yours, and pieces of hair cover his face in just the right places.

you're staring a little too long and gojo finds his pulse quickening with the eye contact—but the spell he has you under is soon broken when he clears his throat.

you quickly look away, embarrassed that you were caught staring at your boss, by your boss.

"you'll pick some up for me, yeah?" his smooth and silky voice echoes through the empty space of his office.

you look at him again, and there's a gentle smile on his face; one you're all too familiar with.

you're aware of satoru's charismatic nature, his playboy-ish attitude, and all sorts of tricks he uses to make women fall head over heels for him. that didn't mean you were completely resistant to them, though—you find yourself playing with the sleeves of your blouse, your ears beginning to redden. "of course," is all you manage to say.

at least you were self-aware.

your mind was rational. should gojo satoru try to hit on you for the nth time—all it took was some self discipline to say no, and you'd like to think you had plenty.

you think the conversation is done with the way he doesn't speak another word, so you turn on your heels and make your way out of the office.

just as you touch the handle of the door, your boss adds: "i'll come with you."

you turn back to him, confused. you didn't need your boss babysitting you for a donut run, you knew his favourite flavours—it's all he ever insists on buying for lunch. "there's no need for that, mr. gojo."

satoru shakes his head in disapproval. "you don't even know my favourite flavours, miss y/n."

that was a blatant lie. he knew you knew. you were his personal donut grabber for a few months up until august, and it was only october. you suppose that it would've continued on if not for your complaints about the long lines in the morning.

nevertheless, you don't argue with him. gojo satoru was the type to get what he wants, when he wants, if he really wants it.

you smile at his disregard for the months you spent as his errand runner, and how idiotic the excuse he just used was. satoru knows he's lying through his teeth, and your smile makes him more nervous than your eye contact.

so nervous, in fact, that he takes back what he just said. "unless. . . you're fine by yourself."

you're surprised that gojo's confidence is dissipating, or that it could even fade at all. you can tell with the way he's avoiding your eye contact, exactly how you evaded his earlier—the red on the tips of his ears are much too obvious in contrast to his hair.

"i don't mind," you respond a bit too quicker than appropriate. "mr. gojo."

gojo curses himself mentally, thinking about how stupid he must sound. he's usually the one making people nervous, but he doesn't know why it's different when you look at him like that.

──────

the atmosphere is deafening in gojo's favourite bakery. you always knew he had a sweet tooth, so you expected his choice to be a spectacular one—and you weren't disappointed.

you had personally visited this bakeshop before, and the confectionery was truly as good as people made it out to be; it proved evident in the amount of people crammed into this small establishment. though, you can't tell if it was for the food or for your boss, with the way most pairs of eyes are turned in his direction.

you two spend a good five seconds looking at the menu before gojo states his order, which was exactly what you thought it would be—the lady at the cashier smiles a bit too long at satoru, before asking: "eating in?"

you want to open your mouth to say something, but he beats you to it. "of course."

it was still very well your work day. he (or maybe you and him, considering you helped him plan seventy percent of his appointments) had a meeting in 3 hours to prepare for. you think this donut adventure is already unnecessary enough—but here he is, suggesting to waste even more time eating the donuts in the bakery itself.

"we have a meeting in a bit, though. you could eat it in your office."

he looks at you with a confused look, as if he forgot that there was a meeting at all—because he did forget. gojo gasps, turning back to the lady and retracting his previous statement.

──────

gojo eats his donuts agonisingly slow and no conversation is initiated.

you're alternating between staring at both your laptops and the swirls on the wooden desk, unable to say anything because you didn't plan for such an occasion: an eating donuts with your admittedly handsome boss that makes you nervous while simultaneously planning for an important meeting occasion.

"miss y/n, you should try some."

you shift your eyes from the table to gojo, and he's holding a small piece of his donut to your lips: the powdered sugar practically calling your name.

"it's fine, i ate earlier," you decline his generous offer. "you should eat."

"i'm not asking you to eat all of them, miss y/n." he smiles at you. "just a bite. it's really good, y'know."

you sigh, reaching for his hand to take it from him—but he swiftly pulls it away and shakes his head. "open your mouth."

you feel the tips of your ears burning, blood rushing to your cheeks and you wonder how the girls he takes out manage themselves when he's like this—you've worked with him for so long, yet you can't recall a time when his gaze wouldn't make you shudder.

you think you'd stutter if you spoke one more word to him, so you save yourself from the embarrassment and bare with his request.

he feeds you the piece of sugar-coated donut, and you're sure you have powder on the corners of your lips with how it's width barely fits into your mouth.

you chew and swallow, feeling the residue of sugar on your skin.

"do you have any tissues?" you ask him, a serious expression plastered onto your face.

gojo tries to suppress the chuckle itching to escape his throat—the sugar on your lips and cheeks catch him off guard, and after a few seconds he can't help but let a small laugh slip. you stand up from your chair, scanning the room for any boxes of tissues you could lay your hands on.

he stands up as well, shaking his head—still giggling.

"it's not funny," you frown, and the smile on his face only grows wider—you're too cute for your own good when you sulk. "stop laughing."

you're not sure if you want to punch him or let him giggle to himself. for some reason, seeing you embarrassed is a great cause of joy to him. you can't bring yourself to tell him to shut up; you always imagine doing just that, it's strange how you couldn't muster the courage just when you needed it most.

"it's quite funny," gojo's laughter eventually calms down.

he leans closer to you and his right hand gently holds the side of your jaw—he uses his thumb to gently wipe the sugar off your cheek, and then your lips. "i got it."

his thumb stays on your bottom lip after dusting the sugar away. his pupils are locked onto the surface of your lips, which were glossy in the harsh light of his office: they looked so soft.

before long, they trail up your face until he's looking directly into your eyes: and this time you're not nervous, you don't look away, and your heart is completely calm.

satoru's fingers are easy on your skin. he handles you like fragile glass, as if he doesn't want to break you: and it's the same for the way he looks at you. gentle.

you're reluctant to speak because the way satoru has his thumb on your bottom lip sends shivers down your spine. you feel breathless.

you don't want this feeling to leave, not just yet.

a few seconds of tension pass. his hand moves back to your jaw, and your nervousness returns when gojo satoru leans his tall figure even closer to you; his head tilting ever so slightly.

it's a random thursday morning when you discover a few more good qualities gojo satoru possesses: his lips and his hands. maybe the way he kisses, too—it's slow and precise, unlike his attitude. he tastes sickeningly sweet and it makes you want to savour this moment even more.

you promised yourself you wouldn't fall victim to gojo satoru. yet, you just can't pull away: instead finding yourself slithering your arms around his neck and your chest pressing against his.

gojo's hands are wandering down to your waist and he's desperate to have you as close to him as possible, showing in the way he tries to close the already small gap between you two.

it takes only a fraction of a second for a small thought to form in your mind: just how many women have been in this position?

you quickly forget about that thought, though—you think it's pointless to regret it now, gojo satoru kisses you too good to be full of remorse.

gojo thinks he could stay like this: kiss you all morning, afternoon and pay you overtime if it meant he could be this close to you for just a bit longer.

there's hints of neediness in gojo's touch—as if he'd been waiting for this forever, wanting to relish it before it ends. his few seconds of bliss don’t last very long though, because you're soon pulling away—gasping for air.

he sighs mockingly, his hands sliding down from your waist to your hips. "can't last longer than 10 seconds, miss y/n?"

of course he would say some cocky shit like that—you'd forgotten for a minute that this was the same, arrogant mr. gojo you always knew, and no kiss (however heavenly) was going to change that.

"i'm sorry that i don't go on dates with every man that breathes."

gojo smirks at you after you say those words. "come on. just because i go on dates with people, doesn't mean i kiss them like this."

"sure you don't." your jealousy shows a bit too much in your reply, and he finds himself smiling even harder.

"is someone jealous?" he teases you again, rubbing circles with his thumb against the flesh of your hips.

you feel flustered, knowing that you're definitely done for now—he saw right through you. "nobody is jealous, mr. gojo."

"stop it with the formality. just call me satoru."

"it's still office hours. it's only polite."

gojo rolls his eyes, sighing in the process. you grin a little at him, knowing that this was the first thing you denied him of today—complying with the donuts and the kissing was already spoiling him enough.

"then i suppose there's only after work," there's his nauseatingly charming voice again—low and smooth. he knows exactly what he's doing to you, and you know it too. "i'm off after 6."

you think long and hard about whether you want to be mean and add this to the list of things you've declined to do for him. the ratio was starting to get really unbalanced—but you remember the way his hands touch you and how his lips greet yours so lovingly: and you think that there's no point turning back now.

"my boss doesn't let me off until after 8, though." you try to poke at his buttons—you put on a fake pout, knowing you’ll accept his invitation anyway—but gojo satoru is eternally patient when it came to things he sincerely desired.

"fuck your boss." he says, "he'll be fine with it."

you laugh at his response. you never thought you would see the day gojo curses at himself, after all, he's so self-obsessed: but you suppose you've seen—and tasted—parts of him that you never knew existed.

"then i'll see you at 6, mr. gojo."

what was the harm in discovering more?

230323 — i kinda hate this but.. wtv… anyway i couldn’t be bothered to proofread have my brainrot of gojo in a suit Mmmm yumyum

[calypsocolada]

how they kissed you for the first time... ft. tecchou, kunikida, dazai, sigma

cw: none, mostly fluff :)

wc: 2.6k

He’d been watching your reactions as you ate. You stayed pleasant, a soft smile on your face as you tried the food he prepared for you. Vanilla ice cream mixed with mashed potatoes. It was disgusting to say the least. Tecchou had a thing about like colored foods. Apples with hot sauce, carrots and sherbert. It was a whole thing and frankly you found it kind of endearing. He was always excited for you to try new stuff he put together and not everything had been a complete disaster. You swallowed the mashed potatoes and ice cream and forced a smile. It was strange tasting. 

“Wow, you’ve outdone yourself this time.” You said, reaching for another bite but Tecchou stops your hand. 

“You don’t like it.” He said, gently pulling the bowl away from you. 

“What? No, I like it.” You say but Tecchou just smiles warmly, shaking his head. 

“I can tell, it’s okay, I'll try harder next time.” You bite your lip, feeling slightly guilty. Tecchou runs a hand through your hair, turning you to face him. Your stomach bottoms out at the touch. He was always very professional with you. You had a crush on him the moment you met him but didn’t think it would ever go anywhere. Tecchou leaned down and to your surprise pressed a soft kiss to your lips. You freeze, unsure this was really happening. When he pulls away you stare at him stunned. 

“Tecchou?” You ask as he smiles. 

“I’ll make you something else to eat.” He says, kissing you again.

You stamped another one of Kunikida’s reports, depositing it in the correct slot as you stretched. It’d been a long day. Dazai’s assistant had the week off so you were taking care of both boys and while Kunikida looks after you and keeps his reports spotless Dazai was the complete opposite. You had to fix nearly everyone that he wrote today. Which caused you to have to stay two hours later than usual. You pack up your things quietly, the only light in the office coming from the meeting room. You poke your head in there, Kunikida was sat near the white board working diligently. 

“Hey I’m heading out.” You say as he looks up, confused slightly. 

“I didn’t know you were still here.” He says, setting his pen down to give you his full attention. You sighed slightly. 

“Had to fix Dazai’s reports.” He nods his head in understanding before glancing out the window. It was dark out. 

“You’re not walking are you?” He asks as you nod your head. 

“Too late for the bus, I’ll be okay.” You say but he shakes his head. Closing the folder he was working on. 

“I’ll give you a ride.” He says as you shake your head. 

“You don’t have to do that sir, really I’ll be alright.” You say but he stands and pays no attention to your protests. 

“It’s fine dear, let’s go.” He says softly, grabbing his keys. 

“Are you sure?” You ask as he nods his head. 

The ride back to your house was comfortably quiet. It was softly raining outside, padding against the windshield as the wipers swiped back and forth. You shiver in your seat slightly as Kunikida noticed you move. 

“Cold?” He asks and before you can answer he’s pulling off his jacket to give to you. You thank him and drape the jacket over your body. “I’ll be sure to talk to Dazai tomorrow so that you’re not stuck working later than need be.” 

“I don’t mind.” You saw softly as Kunikida pushes his glasses up shaking his head. 

“I’ll mind for you.” He says, you look over at him. His endless seriousness. You smile. He was always looking out for you. He pulls into your apartment complex as you gather up your things. He parks and switches off the car. You look at him quizzically. “I’ll walk you up.” He says, grabbing some of your things to carry for you. Walking up to your apartment you shake the rain from your hair. 

“Thank you again, I promise next time if I work late I’ll have someone pick me up.”

“No need, it’s easier if I drive you.” He says as you shoot an amused look over your shoulder at him. 

“Easier for you? You love the opposite direction.”

“Easier on my mind. To know your home safe.” He says and your heart melts in your chest. You remember the time the agency had been raided, you hadn’t gone in that day for some reason and when Kunikida thought you’d been hurt he about lost his mind. You felt terribly about it but it also made you feel warm. To know he cared so much. You just wished it was more but he was so professional he’d probably never make a move on you. Once at your door you unlock it and Kunikida pushes it open for you. Inside you set your stuff on the table. 

“You want a coffee or something?” You ask. 

“May I kiss you?” He asks and to be honest you didn’t even comprehend his question before mindlessly answering. 

“Sure.” Because for some reason you thought he answered your question about coffee. A simple misunderstanding. Kunikida’s hand softly slides against your cheek as he pulls you into him and presses a kiss to your lips. You jolt, caught off guard as he pulls back. For a split second you two look at each other before you flushed violently. 

“You just kissed me.” You say dumbfoundedly. 

“I’m aware.” He says. “Was it okay?”

“Uhm, yea. Do you like me?” You ask, thoroughly confused. He looks at you like you were the crazy one. 

“Very much, it’s affecting my focus.” He says. You stare at him as your mind processes the moment. Him kissing you, him affirming his feelings for you. You needed a longer kiss. You gently grabbed the front of his shirt. 

“Kiss me like you mean it this time.” You say as though resting some hypothesis. Kunikida raises his brows. He reaches and takes off his glasses before turning back to you. He gently grasps your hip, pulling you into him, other hand sliding against your cheek. His lips meet yours and it seems your words awoke something in him because he kisses you hard this time.

Infuriating man. You were gone for a week on vacation and came back to your desk a mess. It seems Dazai took the liberty of making various origami animals out of your important documents. You practically growl in anger, pushing out of your chair. You stomp towards Kunikida’s assistant. 

“Where’s Dazai?” 

“He’s working a case but he should be back soon, is something the matter?” She asks as you grind your teeth together. 

“Aside from working under a child, no, nothings the matter.” You growl spinning around as the other assistant giggles behind you. 

You take care unraveling the documents and straightening them back out. Fifteen minutes pass before the front door opens and the man of the hour strolls inside. His eyes find yours and his entire face lights up. 

“Darling! You’re finally back!” He says excitedly. You pointedly turn away from him, back to your desk. You hear him walk over. “Something the matter?”

“Yes! You!” You snap in a hushed whisper. “These documents are important and you made stupid cranes out of them.”

“Oh dear, relax. Here,” he reaches for something on his desk and hands it to you. You snatch it from him. “I made copies.” He says as you look through the perfectly straight papers. You sigh heavily and crumple up the other papers, tossing it at him. 

“I had a great vacation and you’re ruining my first day back.” You say, turning away from him again. 

“Geez, I made all those for you and you toss them away, be still my heart.” He croons. 

“Be still your lips.” You retort. “I need quiet to go over your reports.” 

“Let’s go get some coffee.”

“Did you not hear what I said?” You ask sharply as Dazai leans against your desk. Clearly craving your attention, he always craved your attention. Like some touch starved animal with no self control. 

“I heard,” he says, cocking his head to look down at you. “But I want coffee and I need them to write the reports.”

“You haven’t even written them yet?” You jolt, turning to look at him. He pushes off your desk and dawdles towards the door. “Dazai? Please tell me you’re joking.” You call after him as he slips out into the hallway. You shove away from your desk and practically run after him.

He’s halfway down the hallway when you get to him. “You are going to be the death of me!” You call after him. 

“Isn’t that my line, darling?” He says over his shoulder as you sigh. 

“Kunikida is gonna yell at you for turning in your reports late.” 

“Kunikida is too busy making goo goo eyes at his assistant to notice, it’s been like that the whole week.” He says as you fall into step with him. Mouthing ‘goo goo eyes’ in confusion. 

“Too busy with her, how?” You ask as he looks down at you, raising a brow. 

“You girls don’t talk?” 

“She’s always leaving on time while you keep me here hours late, we don’t have much time to talk.” You sigh. 

“At least I give you free rides when I keep you late.”

“You’re a terrible driver. I’d probably be safer walking.” You sigh as Dazai laughs, throwing an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his body. He’s warm and smells like he’s already had a cup of coffee or two. 

“I missed this.” He says as you let him hold you. You two had a very complicated relationship. It was like you were an old married couple. You spent most of your days together either gossiping or bickering there was no inbetween. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him. 

“I’m serious about those reports, Dazai, I have something I’m doing after work.” 

“Oh? What’s that?”

“None of your business.” You snipe, pushing him off you. He chuckles, pushing his hands in his pockets. 

“It’s a date isn’t it?” He asks as you snap your head towards him. 

“Who told you?” You ask, narrowing your eyes. 

“No one, dearest. You’re dressed up more than usual, not to mention your hair and make up are done differently which means you’re probably leaving from here to go to the date, am I right?” He asks with a shit eating grin. Of course he was right. He was always right. You swallow, sighing. 

“Yes, okay I have a date.” You say as Dazai turns to look at you, he looks at you for a long moment. You huff. “What? Got some jokes? Out with them so we can get your coffee and get these reports done.” 

“Do you like this guy?” 

“It’s a blind date.” 

“Ah.”

“Ah?”

“So you haven’t met him?“

“Not in person, we’ve texted.” You answer as Dazai stops walking. You turn to look at him as you stop walking as well. “What?”

“Do you like him?” He asks again. 

“I don’t know yet.” You answer, motioning him to walk. 

“Who set this up?”

“A friend.”

“A trusted friend?”

“Okay, why the twenty questions? Are you trying to be an ass?”

“Just curious.” He answers simply as you sigh heavily. 

“Can you be curious and also walk?” You ask as Dazai chuckles, walking forwards and before you can react he’s pushing you against the wall and pressing his lips to yours with an urgent need. You gasp and his mouth swallows the sound. You should push him off but something warm is building in your stomach and you realize a little too quickly how much you want this. And when that realization dawns you push him back. 

“What the hell?” You ask breathlessly. Dazai still has his hands on you, his mouth centimeters away from yours. 

“You’re gone for a week,” he starts, voice thick with want and desire. “You answer none of my calls, you come back and suddenly you’re going on a date? With someone you don’t know. Someone that doesn’t know you?”

“Dazai-” he’s kissing you again, plucking your words right from your lips. He pulls back only for air moments later. “What is going on?” 

“Don’t be mad but I have to tell you something.” He says as you pull back, able to see his face. “The reports are done already. I just wanted an excuse to get you out here so I could kiss you.” 

“I hate you.” You say but the butterflies in your stomach tell a different story.

There was a man that sat in the corner of your cafe. He was very distinguished, sipped his tea quietly and read various books. It's been a few weeks since he’d been coming so one night you decided if he was going to be a regular you might as well introduce yourself. So grabbing some new pastries you cooked earlier in the day you walked over. The man slowly looked up at you and you gave him a kind smile. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt your reading, I just wanted to give you some free baked goods, I hope you like apple fritters.” You say, setting the plate down on his table. 

“Wow, uh, thank you that’s very kind.” He says, his voice soft as he sets his book down. “I’m Sigma, just moved here a month or so ago.” He says, reaching for the plate. You tell him your name and his cheeks pinken as you welcome him to the neighborhood. You two end up talking for a while, Sigma offering the set across from him for you to sit in. For the next few weeks Sigma stops by, you make him new pastries to try and you two end up talking for hours. One night you were closing up when you heard a soft knock on the front door, you turned and saw Sigma, drenched from the rain outside the front door. You gasped and ran over, unlocking the door and pulling him inside. 

“I’m sorry, did I startle you?” Sigma asks as you shake your head. 

“Course not! Did you forget something?” You ask and watch him nervously fumble with his fingers. 

“Uh-  yeah.” He says, running a hand through his wet hair.

“Yeah?” You ask, turning to the table he was sitting at but there was nothing near it. “What was it?” You ask over your shoulder and when Sigma didn’t answer you turned around. He looked so nervous, his cheeks turning red you wondered if he was sick or something. “You okay?” You ask, stepping towards him. 

“Y-yeah, i’m fine.” He stutters nervously. 

“Here, take a seat, I’ll fix you up a hot cup of coffee.” You say and he just nods his head, taking a seat. You walk into the kitchen, worried that maybe he was sick, maybe from the rain. You finish the coffee and walk it over to him, sliding it to him as you sit next to him. 

“Thank you.” He says softly, blowing on the coffee before taking a small sip.

“Are you sure you're feeling okay?” You ask, crossing your legs. 

“Uh- yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.” He says, swallowing. He clears his throat, turning to face you. “I want to uh- to um to tell you that I- uh,” He chatters nervously as you listen, not interrupting him. “Uh- god this is-- hard.” He sighs, taking a big sip of his coffee. You give him an encouraging smile. He sets the cup down and seems sure of himself as he turns and just leans forwards kissing you quickly. You gasp, the kiss was mere milliseconds before he’s pulling back. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve wanted to do that for weeks but I don’t really know what or how to do it and-” You cut him off by kissing him, showing him how it’s done. You take his face and pull him closer to you, his cheeks were cold, his hair wet as you ran a ahdn through it. His hands cautiously reach for you, softly pressing against your hip. You smile into the kiss and grab his hand, pulling it around your back to let him pull you even closer. When you two break for air he looks redder than before, even the tops of his ears were red. It makes you laugh. "What?" He asks as you shake your head.

"You're just cute, you know?" You ask and he gasps slightly, smiling softly.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

Quick question, what are your thoughts on the One Piece live action 💖

Oh thank you so much for asking!

I am so FRIKEN EXCITED for it, man, you have no idea.

One Piece is obviously going to be very difficult to transition into a live action setting, but i think theyre doing the absolute best they can with the cards they were given. I like to keep my expectations low so that im always surprised, and boy howdy was i surprised with that trailer. I literally watched it like 5 times over in pure glee.

I really cant explain why… i think it’s just the childlike wonder within my soul being like “omg my fav characters doing something fun :O!! Im so excited :DD”

Plus the actors (from what ive seen) are all really fun and i really wanna watch their full on screen chemistry. Like sure its childlike wonder, but its also so much curiosity. Like how are they gonna pull this off :D??

The only thing i could see happening that would make me dislike it is the cgi, but like… i know in my heart that i Will Not Care if the cgi is bad. I used to watch Supergirl AND The Flash CW TV shows and didnt mind.

Actually that’s not true, i have another fear for the show. About a year ago or so there was some kind of leak (idk if its even real or not) for the script that depicted luffy acting not very luffy-like. But like… surely they fixed that. I dont want to live in a world where luffy is depicted giving genuine pep talks and not just telling someone that “yeah if i dont accomplish this then I’m probably dead” (which winds up being more inspiring than anything else he could possibly say)

Plus, if this live action thang turns out to be good????? Ohhhhh ohh hohohoooo. The friends of mine who dont watch one piece and have no intention of watching one piece will be secured tightly in a chair with duct tape and forced to watch it.

I think this little bite sized nugget of one piece could be a lot less pressure to try to get others into since it’ll be so short (in comparison to its 2d counterpart). And who knows, maybe watching the first bit will inspire them to continue watching. :’).

So i guess you can say ive got high hopes.

I can really tell this whole thing has been a labor of love, and thats enough to get me hype.

And also luffy’s actor is very cute.

Thanks for the ask!

[siberat]

Food Makes things feel better

so, good news and bad news. This was originally for a Drabble request- however, jerk me totally missed the mark by my classic quickly reading the request, then spending days writing only to find out it’s not what was asked at all. So, my apologies to the anon requester- you will have to wait a bit longer. Also, I was gonna split this in 2, but I just wanna post it.

good news is here is a rodi/mus chub story. I am gonna do another one for the anon prompt. Cw: chub, weight gain, binge eating, emotional eating.

Life wasn’t fair, was it?

Yes, he knew things would not be handed to him on a silver platter, but he didn’t think the accomplishments he earned would be snatched away from him either. Or forced to share.

Sighing, Rod/imus plopped himself back in his captain’s chair—while he still had it, that is. Apparently, for reasons unknown, he had to share his status as captain with someone else—someone so unworthy of the position, none-the-less!

Mega/tron.

The “ex” leader of the Decep/ticons. All because stupid Opti/mus Pri/me said so.

This was his voyage! This was his mission! And things have been going just fine, so why try to fix something that isn’t broken?

Before he knew it, the urge to do something other than stew in anger arose. Rodi/mus could only take so much teeth-clenching before his helm hurt worse than it already did. He reached to the center of the table and pulled a large dish of mini cakes in front of him. Yes, this was to be for the guests at his meeting, but surely, they wouldn’t notice one missing—there was plenty after all.

Fingers daintily selected a light pink cake with blue frosting and brought it to his lips. The sweetness invaded his mouth much quicker than the actual treat! The first bite was everything he could imagine: moist, decadent, and rich flavor awoken his taste receptors from slumber.

Each bite led like another, and the first cake was gobbled up. And the sheer taste of the food made him feel better. While he was consuming it, all thoughts of his predicament vanished. Rodi/mus didn’t think of the stern looks received from Mega/tron when ideas were disapproved of. Seeing Ult/ra Magn/us discuss plans with the ‘other’ captain vanished from his processor. Feeling like scrap for being deprived of his hard-earned title lifted from his chassis.

At least until the last swallow of the cake, that is.

As the red and yellow mech stared at the plate full of little colorful cakes of various shapes, licking icing off his fingertips, he could feel the brain worms kicking back in.

Was he not good enough? Just what did he do so wrong? He was a fun mech and liked trying fun things! Did his crew mates simply not like him? Images replayed in his processor of ‘bots reactions to him, seeing if there were any tell-tale signs of dislike. Rodi/mus did not see any hints of hate- but perhaps they really did?

“Ehhhhhhhhh,” Rodi/mus grumbled and rolled his optics, truly hating feeling like this. He was a good mech! He deserved to lead this exhibition! Just why did it have to be stolen from him?

Yeah, it was time for another cake. There were still plenty of them left on the plate. The scrumptious little morsels make him feel better, even if just temporarily. When one was finished, and those tormenting thoughts returned, Rodi/mus helped himself to another.

Of course, the emptied plate was hidden before the conference began- his attendees wouldn’t miss what they didn’t know, right? Hopefully, the ‘co-captain’ could hide his noisy belly ache!

… … …

Any hope of his situation improving simply flew out the window. It turns out his crew was much more accepting of Mega/tron than he anticipated. Yes, tabs were kept on him, but as the days turned to weeks, high command appeared to grow more comfortable with his presence on board the Lo/st Li/ght.

And more willing to listen to his ideas and choose the ex-warlord's instructions over his!

Rodi/mus even tried harder to win back popularity votes by hosting parties at Swer/ves. He graced others' presence by making rounds and chatting it up amongst the partygoers. He even let them in on his future festivities, listening to their ideas, even if they were stupid.

Like perhaps an ice cream social would be nice.

Actually, Rodi/mus didn’t even ask for that—he still had some control over what took place on board his ship! The event was scheduled—and it was scheduled first—and now, he sat in an empty room. Well, it was not completely empty: there were tubs upon tubs of energon ice cream.

Yet only a handful of mechs showed up. And those fraggers didn’t even stay for long! Apparently, after his planned and announced event, Rew/ind and Chrome/dome continued their dumb movie marathon. Guess where every mech went?

So, the red and yellow mech sat alone, staring out the large window. Space was so vast and empty…just like his spark. Alright, that is a bit sappy. But it hurt to have no one really show up. It hurt to feel not important. It hurt to feel ignored.

But seeing all the ice cream and toppings sitting around unused was disheartening. And there was a lot! All the good flavors were obtained: chocolate, vanilla, mint chocolate chip, rocky road, peanut butter cup…. The list went on. And toppings? There was chocolate sauce, sprinkles, candies, brownie bits, whipped cream, and then some. With a spread like this, who wouldn’t want to show up?

Apparently, ninety-nine percent of the ship.

‘No point in letting this go to waste,’ Rodi/mus shrugged, dragging himself to his pedes and scooped himself a heaping bowl of several flavors of ice cream, topped with every topping imaginable. He sat back down with his feast and scoop after scoop fed himself the cold treat.

Oh, how he loved ice cream! The soft dessert's chill and the crunch of the toppings always hit the spot! A lot of foods hit the spot recently. Ever since Mega/tron joined this fleet, energon has provided him with so much comfort, as if it had always been there for him. Always calling his name out from the panty just begging to be devoured! And how could the speedster resist?

Eating cheered him up, relieving him from replaying the bad thoughts in his processor all the time. The pleasurable feeling of consuming something so tasty made his spark swirl with joy instead of rage. And this ice cream was no different—each bite, a new flavor, a new color twirled in his vision, and a smile appeared on his lips.

As soon as the dish was emptied, the co-captain immediately helped himself to seconds. He kept going even when his whole frame seemed cold from eating so much frozen dessert. Even when his tummy, which had grown more prominent over the past few weeks, became taunt and lay heavier on his lap, he kept going.

When his overflowing bowl was polished off this time, Rodi/mus simply snagged two cartons of ice cream. There was no point having to keep getting back up! However, upon shoveling the first spoonful in, he noticed he wasn’t alone and jumped.

“Pri/mus, Dri/ft!” Rodi/mus gasped.

“Don’t use His name in vain,” Dri/ft spoke calmly.

“My bad.” The red and yellow mech stuffed a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, then motioned to the food table for the other to help himself.

“I’m not here for that,” Dri/ft answered.

“Ah, let me guess.” Rodi/mus spat. “Just stopping in before movie fest?”

 “I’m here to talk with you.” He walked to the table and sat next to the other. “So, how have you been?”

“Fine,” Rodi/mus shrugged, continuing to work on his tub of ice cream. “Shame mech’s don’t know what they are missin’.” His belly clenched, whining out a minor grumble.

“I somehow don’t think everything is fine, Rodimus.” The TIC gently placed a servo on the other’s shoulder. “You haven’t quite been yourself recently.”

“Nonsense,” Rodi/mus bulked, his mouth full. Who else would I be?” Slag, the last thing he wanted was some kind of spiritual talk from Dri/ft. And why the hell did he have to be so nosey? He needed to stay in his own lane.

“Rodi/mus…” His hand moved to the arm, guiding the other to stop eating. “You are not doing well, I can tell. I can help you.”

Rodi/mus sneered, pulling his arm free from the other. What was wrong with wanting to not let all this ice cream go to waste? He spent good credits on this- as well as having to make an unscheduled stop. Why didn’t anybody notice all the work he put into things?

“Just let me be.”

“Let me help you. We can talk- “

“Look, if you don’t want any ice cream, why don’t you shove off?”

“Rodi/mus…”

“Dri/ft…” The red and yellow mech threw an angered glare at the other but regretted it. “Look…. I just… I just want to be alone right now.”

Dri/ft sighed and solemnly nodded. “As you wish. I shall give you your privacy. But I must warn you.” His servo gestured to the now flabbier body. “Your change in habits can have some unhealthy results.”

“Just what the slag you talking about?”

“Your coping mechanism…” Dri/ft bit his lip. “It will catch up to you.”

“You have an issue with me now because I put on a few extra pounds?”

“It's far more than a few extra pounds- “

“What, are you taking measurements?”

“No- “

“Does me eating hurt your inner arura or whatever that scrap is?”

“No.” Dri/ft’s tone grew stern as his lips pressed together to form a line. “I have no qualms about your physical appearance, Rodi/mus. But I just fear the reasoning behind the sudden weight gain.”

“I checked out just fine at my last check-up with Rat/chet.”

“Perhaps you should speak with Ru/ng.”

“Ru/ng?” Rodi/mus snorted. “Look, I aint crazy.”

“No one ever said you were.”

“Then why are we having this conversation?” Rod/imus slammed his fist on the table, and the TIC raised his servos in defeat.

“I just wish to say one thing before I leave you to yourself.” Dri/ft stood up and put his hands on his hips. “Drowning your problems with food is not the solution. Trust me, addiction is the easy way out. But if you keep this up, you’ll be weighed down by more than whatever bothers you. Also, I am here for you whenever you are ready to talk.”

“That was two things you said, not one,” Rodi/mus grumbled, serving himself another spoonful of ice cream. As if angered by the conversation, his belly grumbled loudly.

Dri/ft opened his mouth to retort, but just shook his helm instead. With saddened optics, he watched the other resume his binge eating for a moment before taking his leave.

Deep down, he knew Dri/ft was correct. But how could he stop when eating was the one thing that made him feel so good? Despite his belly churning and the tell-tale signs of a belly ache forming, Rodi/mus kept eating. Even when his belly grew so taunt and painful that even his servos couldn’t comfort the beast, spoonful after spoonful of rich, chocolate peanut butter ice cream was shoved into his maws.  Even when it became so hard to swallow, he continued- he would finish this tub of ice cream if it was the last thing he did!

… … …

When did this hallway become so long? Rodi/mus huffed as he waddled his way towards the bridge of the ship. Apparently, today’s meeting was of the utmost importance, so his presence was demanded instead of video chat. And not only did that mean getting himself out of the berth, but it also meant dragging himself halfway across the ship.

And this was simply too much work!

What exactly was the reason for this unscheduled meeting? Rodi/mus whined for hours with Ul/tra Mag/nus about what was so important, but he wouldn’t blab. What, now officers on board his ship could no longer speak to him? No longer tell him the truth?

It was bad enough having unannounced guests visit his captain's quarters over the past month. No one wanted to see him unless they wanted to voice their concern for his weight gain. He still ran this ship, didn’t he?

Well, half-run the ship would be more accurate.

Did he slack off on his duties? No. Did he miss any meetings? No—well, one was missed, but that was because of a too-small shower stall issue—but that didn’t count! His responsibilities of running this ship were still performed.

Yet, in the past several weeks, Ratc/het paid him a visit, bringing with him his medical supplies and grumpy attitude. Tests were run, and while levels came back elevated, they were considered normal range. Which normally was good, but the medic felt the need to drill onto him the warnings of increased weight gain and decreased activity.

Once Rat/chet was shoved off, another medic took his place a few days later. While more upbeat, Ai/d’s help was not desired or needed. Even Amb/ulon’s straightforward, no-nonsense approach was as annoying as slag. All three medics were sent on their way, chided for wasting their breath and his time.

They could have at least brought him a snack!

Not even halfway to his destination, Rodi/mus had to stop for a break. His chest heaved as he desperately sucked in cool air. His pedes hurt. His legs felt like jello. Prim/us, how long has it been since he walked this far?

There really should be some chairs in the hallway!

Instead, the blob of a mech rested against the wall, swiping his servo across his brow. He was sweating like a cyberpig. He'd be a sopping mess by the time he’d make it to the conference room!

This is just great!

He also noticed that his thighs burned as if scorched by a fire. Glancing down and pulling that pillow of a tummy out of the way, he saw the protomesh was pink and raw. Chub-rub. Perfect.

What a way to be seen outside his quarters!

‘Who would be the first to notice?’ Rodi/mus scowled, banging his fists against the hallway as he slowly began shuffling along his way. Would it be Rat/chet and his know-it-all attitude? Would Ai/d baby talk him and try to slather cream all over the massive thigh flab? Or would Dri/ft be all over this whole ‘talk about your feelings’ crap again?

Couldn’t mechs take a hint to leave someone alone for once?

Rounding the final turn, Rodi/mus rested upon the conference room door frame. His chest heaved as he panted to catch his breath. His frame pinged warnings of overheating. Sweat dripped down his face, down his body, and into his many flab rolls. Everything hurt!

He felt lightheaded, as if he was about to pass out. All the red and white mech wanted to do was sit down and relax! Walking this far was challenging; it took all his strength to remain upright and not collapse onto the floor.

 The air conditioning better be one during this meeting!

Once his breathing rate slowed, Rodi/mus palmed open the door.

And what did he see?

Gone was the long table lined with chairs. The room was redecorated into something a little cozier. There was an oversized couch in the center that just called out his name! As he waddled inside, he noted the room’s cooler temperature, which felt terrific against his hot frame!

But what he saw next stopped him dead in his tracks.

There were many mechs sitting around that couch. Rat/chet sat with his arms crossed over his chest, and Fir/st Aid perc/hed on the chair next to him. Ski/ds and Ult/ra Mag/nus were each seated with datapads in their servo’s as well.

“Rodi/mus!” Dri/ft greeted in a soft, kind tone. He walked towards the larger mech with arms open and hugged the other.

“What’s going on here?”

“Why don’t you have a seat, Rodi/mus.” Ru/ng smiled, gesturing to the sofa.

And Rodi/mus didn’t like the look of this. “Why… why are you all here sitting around like this?”

 “A lot of people care about you and have a few things they wish to read to you- “

“What the slag!” Rodi/mus shouted. He couldn’t believe it! Was this real or another bothersome nightmare? “Is this… for real…. Is this an intervention?”

“Rodi/mus, just have a seat,” Ru/ng coaxed, but the words fell upon deaf audials.

If Rodi/mus could spit fire, he would! Talk about being ambushed! “Who did it?” His optics scoured the room. “Whose idea was this?” His pudgy servos clenched to fists as his double chins bounced with each word he screamed. “I swear!”

“Rodi/mus…” Mega/tron’s voice boomed.

And Rodi/mus flinched. “It was you, wasn’t it? This was all YOUR idea?”

“This talk has been long overdue- “

I don’t fragging care! I am NEVER going to have a discussion with you!” Rodi/mus turned on his pedes. “I’m going back to my room!”

“Do you think you will make the trip?”

“Shut your slagging trap, Mega/tron!” Rodi/mus bellowed.

But the ex-con had a point.

Could he make the trip back to his quarters?

[dragon-queen21]

GUESS WHO

(before i start, metal family is originally a russian cartoon on youtube that was dubbed in english. its about in not my words “the most unhealthy healthy family ever” like the name suggests, music is a huge part of it. in later episodes there are a few trigger warnings that apply but the shows pretty good! and honestly has a lot of agere potential but)

(also i wanna drop, i was thinkin about this earlier but i like to think that nezuko is perma-regressed or close to it. she almost constantly acts younger than she is, and honestly i think it could be a way to cope with her bein a demon, and maybe it could suppress demon urges with baby urges. (like being comforted, sleepin, lookin up to someone) anyway now im thinkin of tanjiro just carryin her around like a baby when shes in her little form)

-no because your so right, i was thinkin about the zeff one and let me raise up your raise up:

zeff raised sanji, and this poor boy has a crazy amount of trauma, at the time of meeting zeff was pretty fresh too. now zeff watchin this boy grow up in his teen years, only to realize that “hey, somethings off sometimes” that zeff recongized arent sanjis regular trauma responses that zeff knows, zeff paying more attention and whys the kid not talkin durin food prep? sanji has a big mouth how hasnt zeff noticed that before? or how sanji would sometimes stand a little closer to zeff than normal, or when the customers ask sanji a question some days, he’ll look and find zeff before answering. or how his eyes would full up with tears before bein forced away like the kid refused to cry. and oh, this reminds him of the eggplant right when they started the baratie, just a bit more sensitive if the tears & fist clenchin has anythin to say about it. (later he opens one of the psychology books he got a little after he adopted sanji, and finds “age regression” and it all clicks.)

i feel like zeff wouldnt treat sanji different when hes obviously feelin little (aside from basic care just to make sure sanji doesnt hurt himself) he wouldnt treat him like a burden or annoyingly like a baby. i feel like that would make sanji feel terrible about himself, so just the normalcy even when hes little encourages him that its okay, hes still helping its okay, no one cares that your biting your nails after zeff just told you not too. zeff wouldnt tell sanji he knows that he age regresses, and sanji doesnt tell zeff hes little. (but sometimes maybe zeff, on days the baratie isnt as busy and they can afford to work slower, zeff likes to subtly do things to make the eggplant regress farther. just enough to where he can still work and not be extremely overwhelmed, while still helpin sanji cope) (it goes well, the other chefs never catch on to this, thank irene am i right)

-sanjis definitly the kinda kid to regress if he ever gets sick. hes not used to bein sick as it is, and i feel like due to this that when he does get sick, he gets *SICK* like bedridden type shit. he totally makes someone take care of him, “oh chopper you wanna do somethin else? too bad! hes sick and hes makin it everyones problem.” “oh nami you wanted to come check up on his while chopper managed to slip away, oh well you just sealed your fate, that boy is clingin to you like big sanji has never done before.”

the baby is cryin because he wont stop coughin and its givin him a headache, only to cry harder when chopper tries to give him cough medicine. hes screamin cryin because he feels icky, but hes also cryin because now he has a sore throat.

-ive seen some people say that sanji probably wouldnt throw many fits or have many tantrums, and i agree with that, but oh my irene let that kid have a tantrum, let him whine and cry and make the crew scramble to fix the problem, as a treat🫶 let him cause baby mayhem, let him create disarray, hes never done a bad thing in his life, lets get that number to one shall we?

(-zoro givin lil sanji a sip of his booze because sanji wont stop askin,

sanji takes one sip, and then promptly spits it out, zoro just laughin his lungs out.)

OKAY THATS IT, this was gonna be about lil zoro too but. sanji took it over, wow im never on track with these, f plannin lets see what happens, also wanted to ask, where are you jn one piece rn? i wanna make sure i dont spoil ☹️ (im in post timeskip — punk hazard) i try to leave these asks/rambles ambiguous to the time period because i know you only take pre time skip, but sometimes i think i make it a bit more specific so sorry just in case)

and i hope your doing well too, make sure to take breaks and everythin for yourself, mental health comes first, and thank you for the prayers 🤍 right back at ya

📷

:D heyoh friend!

~See you get it! I always thought that with Nezuko. Especially felt this after the red light district when Tanjiro’s singing is what stops her from loosing control.

~Things are a lot easier to process as a toddler simply looking up to Tanjiro to take care of her.

~But also baby space Nezuko, being swaddled by Tanjiro. Confusing everyone at first because- why does Tanjiro have a baby???

~Maybe she was regressed when the attack happened and that’s what lets her change her height/age as a demon. <-random idea anyways

Okay One Piece now

~~~

~I started a long time ago a fic with Zeff figuring out that Sanji regresses. It ended up being kind of dark with other unhealthy coping mechanisms included. Anyways sharing because I have always loved the idea of Zeff just, getting the chance to look after his little eggplant again.

~Idea: Zeff calling Sanji baby eggplant when he knows the boy is regressed without realizing, and Sanji just panics for a moment because- ‘oh hell Zeff hasn’t called me that in years. He knows! No he doesn’t. Yes he does!’

~“oh chopper you wanna do somethin else? too bad! hes sick and hes makin it everyones problem.”

<-

Jdjodbsjbdj oh my gosh XD Luffy too. They would both be so dramatic. Imaging them both being sick and regressed together. The mopiest and clingiest babies ever.

And poor Nami. Can’t even properly pry off Sanji without feeling bad. She has to just resign to her fate of getting sick from the baby.

~No I agree. Let him be fussy and inconsolable. As a treat :3 ( <- coming from the regressor who would also like to throw a tantrum sometimes but can’t) Too many big emotions that are too hard to process.

~Also Franky teaching him how to throw a “proper” tantrum. And Robin using her devil powers to catch flying books and objects thrown across the room, to make sure nothing breaks so that Sanji doesn’t feel bad after, but not exactly stopping the little. Just letting it run its course. Scribbling over the page of a coloring books and snapped crayons and ripped pages.

(<- Has too many ideas, can you tell?)

XD honestly I do the same thing. My brain is all over the place always.

Story time to answer your question! I watch one piece with my mom, as it’s her favorite anime. Currently I am at water seven although I’ve seen enough spoilers that I belive I can write most of the main crew with reason. Not the first time I’ve written fandom blind/ character blind and no ones called me out on it yet >:3 (I have about 15 or so fics on ao3 for a fandom I never watched a single episode for)

Usually watch an episode or two a day but the hyperfixation of this series called the Andy Griffith show has taken over One Piece right now so I will be on water seven for awhile longer. But feel free to mention any characters really, I’ll still do my best to comment on them :D

[edengarden]

Word has it

Synopsis: Caesar’s odd behaviour around you has led you to believe he’s plotting something behind your back. And you want to know what it is.

Pairing: Caesar x gn!reader

Warnings: profanity, reader threatens caesar via holding a project hostage, Caesar still doesn’t have a concept of personal space.

Word count: 3425

Notes: LO AND BEHOLD!! A collab between me and @lairu ! I wrote this, she was kind enough to provide me with two pieces to post along with this :’) You can find the two images underneath their respective scenes in this fic!

This fic can also be read as a standalone or as a continuation of Personal space? Never heard of her.

You wish you could say that Caesar was a constant. You wish you could tell people that once you stick around for a certain amount of time, Caesar’s behavior becomes the new normal. There was even a point in your time spent on Punk Hazard that you yourself believed that. However, recently, it was proven that your wishful thinking was very far from the truth.

Granted, even at this point, you suppose that there was some sort of pattern in his new behavior. He’d gravitate towards you whenever he felt bored or underwhelmed, bother you until you gave in and entertained him, only to then flee halfway through a conversation. You couldn’t even tell what it was that set him off; there was no pattern to it. And you tried finding one, you really did. It was truly confusing, considering how he’d bend in half for your attention only to dismiss it a few minutes later. It reminded you a bit of a cat that would lose all interest in something seconds after receiving it. You started wondering when he’d start biting you out of nowhere as well.

Considering that you now had to put up with Caesar for only half the time you used to, you weren’t exactly going to complain. In fact, you even mentioned it to Monet in the log, wondering if perhaps she had the same luck as you did. That’s where things got… interesting, if you could put it that way.

When you came back from your three weeks off to Monet telling you that she doesn’t know what you were talking about, all kinds of alarms started ringing in your mind. You must have read Monet’s entire log three times in a row, trying your best to grasp a full understanding of it before you jumped to conclusions. But after each time, one thing seemed clear to you; Caesar wasn’t acting normally. Or, well, as ‘normal’ as someone like him can be. A part of you wanted to hit yourself for not labeling his hot-and-cold attitude towards you as a red flag from the get-go. However, now, you knew better. And you believed that now, you were a lot more attentive to details.

Caesar let out the most dramatic sigh you’ve ever heard as the door to the laboratory’s makeshift ‘living room’ slid close. You barely gave him a glance as he made his way through the room, but with the way he carried himself, one could believe that he was the most overworked man on earth. Which you knew was very far from the truth.

He let out another sigh, just as loud as the last one and slightly forced. You knew damn well that he was fishing for attention here and had you been as tired as you usually are, you would’ve ignored him, but you felt like you were in a particularly good mood today. It wouldn’t hurt to actually willingly participate in his antics if you were energized enough to do so, no? “Tough day in the lab?” You asked as you kept your eyes fixed on your own task, completely missing the way he lit up a bit. It wasn’t every day that you actually initiated the conversation.

“Oh, horrid.” Caesar replied as he crashed on the couch, seeing nothing wrong with taking its entirety and practically shoving his feet in your lap so that he could spread out a bit more. One of his arms draped itself over his eyes as he laid on his back. So much for your task. It was a bit hard to work when your notebook got practically shoved out of your lap. “But luckily enough, I worked it out. Thermodynamics is nothing to a genius like me!” Considering that Caesar’s devil fruit works on gas but not temperature fluctuations, you doubt that it went as smoothly as he claims. But you decided not to comment on that and trigger one of his World Famous Bitchfits, instead opting for a quiet hum.

“Now what have you been up to?” He questioned as soon as the silence stretched on for longer than he liked. Again with the personal questions. Ever since Monet’s message caught you off-guard, you’ve been noticing that Caesar asks a lot of questions regarding yourself nowadays. Which is weird, considering that it used to be all about him and even if you would have wanted to put some retroaction in, he would’ve cut you right off with another anecdote of his.

Which is why you’re suspecting that he might be planning something against you in particular. At first, you thought his odd behavior was a sign that he was going to go against Doflamingo himself, but that idea was quickly scratched because you understood that while Caesar isn’t exactly the most obedient of subordinates, he’s fully aware that Doflamingo is his shield against the World Government at the moment. And he’s smarter than fucking around and finding out what happens when you mess with Doflamingo.

“Not much,” you replied, casting him a side-glance. Though you were a little mistrustful of what he’d actually do, you were in a good enough mood to entertain him today. Without the usual insults that came with it. “Though I’m sure that with you around, it can be more bearable.” Caesar finally let his arm drop from his face and he tilted his chin at an odd angle towards you, squinting his eyes and pinching his lips together as if he was trying to figure out what your game plan is. You couldn’t blame him; if someone who was usually cold and distant suddenly engaged in a pleasant-sounding conversation with you, you’d do the same. You held his stare, confident that you had nothing to hide in the first place.

“Am I witnessing you finally coming out of your shell right now? I always thought you were genetically predisposed to being antisocial and rude!” He finally cried out with a slight twinge of sarcasm in his voice. All of a sudden, that good mood you were in was starting to dwindle… You wonder why.

Sucking your teeth in annoyance, you tear your eyes away from his gaze and bend over his bothersome legs to pick up your notebook. “If you’d asked Monet how I am with others, you would’ve found out that the problem doesn’t stem from me.” You shot back, earning a dramatic gasp from the man. You didn’t need to cast him a look to know that he was probably holding a hand to his chest as if he were an innocent person being accused of a moral transgression.

“As far as I’m concerned, I’ve never been anything but nice to you.” Caesar turned his head away and lifted his chin a little, crossing his arms over his chest. You’d never seen a fully grown man pout like a child like this before, and yet here you are. You could swear that the hissing of gas that usually accompanied him got a little louder and sharper. Did it fluctuate with his mood? You never noticed.

You patted his ankle, which still lay in your lap despite Caesar’s half-baked fit. “Now, now. I was saying things the objective way. I didn’t intend to hurt.” You said in a tone that dripped with half-hearted sarcasm. “Did I hurt your pride? Do you want me to kiss it better?” You added with a mean smile sent his way.

His feet whipped out of your lap so quickly that you almost yelped at the sudden movement. The self-proclaimed mad scientist shot a disdainful look at you before rising up to his feet. You frowned at his less than necessary actions. “Did I really upset you?” You asked. It would be crazy if you had. You’d said worse things in the past that didn’t get this sort of violent reaction from him. And, maybe for that very reason, you felt a bit bad about it. “Come on, I really wasn’t serious.” You added and you could not believe that you were trying to accommodate him so that he’d stay. Usually you’d rejoice in his storming off like he was doing at the moment.

Yet, nothing you could say seemed to change his mind. Caesar stomped through the room and somehow managed to slam the sliding door shut behind him, causing you to flinch at the loud metallic noise. His sudden foul mood soured yours as well as you stared at the door in shock. Seriously, what was his deal? You couldn’t figure him out at all. And, considering that it seemed to be a personal thing, it didn’t sit well with you. Caesar’s short fuse could be a potential problem for you in the future and you’d rather be aware of how to deal with it efficiently before it blows up in your face.

It was now your turn to jump up from your spot on the couch. If this bastard was planning a coup against you, you were going to find out and you were going to find out now.

It wasn’t that hard to find him. You did it rather quickly, thus not giving enough time for yourself to cool down and think of a possible alternative to this situation that you were about to impose on him. But then again, Caesar has gotten on your nerves so often these past few weeks that you feel it’s only fair that you give him some emotional distress yourself. And it’s not like you were going to psychologically torture him; you simply needed to get him in a panicked state of mind. It was very easy to get him there, if you knew which buttons to push (which you had ample time to learn about since you were deployed here). The result was exactly what you felt was needed for him to confess about any undermining plots he may have.

You stepped into the laboratory without bothering to knock. And your patience for Caesar thinned even more when the man shot you a nasty glare for interrupting him. Though he didn’t seem to be doing much at the moment. So much so that you feared you weren’t going to be able to get what you needed from him. “Have you never learned how to knock?!” He screeched as he turned towards you, already shooing you with his hands. With the slight side step he took to do so, you finally spotted exactly what you were looking for. “Leave!”

Without awarding him with so much as a word in exchange, you crossed the laboratory with a neutral expression and stopped right on the other side of the table he was currently at. Seeing your impassive face, Caesar ended up more perplexed than anything. Some of his anger faded as he finally dropped his hand to his side and stared at you with slightly furrowed brows, yet again trying to figure out what may possibly be going through your head. Good. That gave you enough time to quickly snatch the oversized erlenmeyer sitting between the two of you filled with some heavy gaseous substance that he was most likely using at the moment. You held the glass container in one hand and took various steps back to create some space between the two of you before he could get it back from you. You were cautious enough to stay out of his range of power, as well.

“What are you– give that back!” Caesar shrieked. You shook your head, unable to hold back the vicious smile forming on your face as you held out the erlenmeyer to taunt him. He let out a scream. “Stop! Stop! Don’t move it! It’s not stable yet!” He cried out and you immediately stopped your shaking, though you were still ready to start it again and ruin whatever it was he was doing with this compound.

“Why have you been so weird lately?” You asked. Caesar’s eyes remained focused on the delicate substance in your hands, practically ignoring you. Possibly unintentionally so. “Caesar! I said, “ why have you been so weird lately?”!” You repeated a bit louder, finally getting his attention. He looked at you like a deer in headlights.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you call bullshit. So, instead, you gave the erlenmeyer a good shake and squinted your eyes at him, conveying that you weren’t buying it. He screeched and took a few steps forward to catch up with you but you held out a hand in warning.

“Ah! Come closer and I drop it.” You warned him.

“You wouldn’t dare.” He hissed back. You simply shrugged.

“Tell me why you’ve been acting so weirdly lately and nothing gets destroyed.” You repeated and the scientist let out an exasperated cry, throwing his arms up in the air.

“I don’t fucking know what you mean! I’ve been doing nothing!” He yelled.

“You have been doing something! Something’s going on in your head and I want to know what it is!” You screamed to match his volume. “And if you don’t..!” You started shaking the substance in circles and, though it technically looked like a gas in there, it seemed to sway with your movement.

“Stop it!” Caesar shrieked. You insisted that he tell you once more, still shaking the glassware. “There’s fucking nothing!” You still weren’t sold.

“No? Then you won’t mind if I…” And your grip on the neck of the erlenmeyer started slipping. You weren’t here to fuck around, after all.

As it dipped down a few inches, Caesar cried out with a gasp and he stretched out a hand, as if hoping he could catch it from all the way over there without taking a single step forward. Though he soon noticed that the bottle was still hanging from your hand and instead of slouching in relief, he remained tense as he stared at you with wide eyes and a still outstretched hand. “Don’t!”

“Tell me why you’ve been so weird lately!” You replied in the same, obnoxiously loud volume as him. You gave the substance an even harsher stir. You think you heard Caesar sob a little. “Tell me why–”

“Because you make me feel weird!” He roared louder than the two of you had been yelling for the past few moments. You abruptly stopped your tormenting and frowned at him while he seemed to cower on himself a little, appalled by what he had just said.

“I make you feel weird?” You replied calmly, grimacing in confusion. That could mean anything. Caesar remained obstinately silent, his hands clenched into fists at his sides and avoiding eye contact. “So you weren’t… planning to kill me or anything?” You added, just to be sure.

A part of you knew fully well that he wasn’t half bad at putting up an act. He could still be playing you right now, but the way that he seemed more uncomfortable than ever at the moment felt too genuine, even by Caesar’s usual standards.

“Kill you?” He repeated, staring at you equally as confused as you were, staring at him. “Why would I want to kill you?”

“You’re a complicated person, I wouldn’t fuckin’ know.” You said with a shrug that was cut halfway through when Caesar almost whimpered and you were reminded that you still held his oh, so important compound. You stilled for the sake of his impending heart attack. “The hell does ‘make me feel weird’ mean?” The man clicked his tongue in annoyance and looked away once more, pursing his lips in a frown. You tapped on the glass of the erlenmeyer to remind him of the hostage you’d taken and he was brought back into the present in no time.

“It means…” You’d never seen someone struggle with saying something so much in your life. It almost seemed like he was having physical pain from just trying to force out whatever it was he was trying to force out. You remained dead silent and careful not to agitate the compound, hoping that it would make Caesar finally spit out what he had to say. He groaned and pressed his fists to his forehead. A bit dramatic, if you were allowed to say it. Surely it wouldn’t cause his death, so why the hell is he so pressed over this?

With your patience wearing thin, you let the erlenmeyer slip from your grasp a bit more. Maybe if you put him under some stress again, he’ll open up. However, upon noticing it, Caesar grumbled something under his breath akin to ‘fuck it’ and walked around the table at a brisk pace.

“Ah! Keep your distance or I'll drop it!” You exclaimed, holding out a hand in front of you as he approached you faster than you’d like.

“It’s already ruined.” He muttered as he slapped your wrist away. You barely had time to react as he leaned down, grasped your cheeks in his gloved hands rather harshly and practically yanked your face towards his to kiss you.

You found it was within your right to have quite the reaction to this by flinching and dropping the flask dangling in your hand. The noise seemed to have taken Caesar by surprise because he pulled away and once there was more space separating the two of you, you finally felt able to breathe again.

Whatever was in the erlenmeyer turned out to be a volatile substance but before it could do more than slightly daze you (though that could have also been the result of being kissed when you were absolutely not expecting it), Caesar managed to take care of it with his Devil Fruit. You took that opportunity to grasp his wrists and lightly tug his hands away from your cheeks. “So, uh…” You started, hesitating when your lips still tingled a bit and your heart threatened to beat loudly enough to bruise you from the inside. “Message received. Loud and clear.” What else could you say right now?

Seeing as the momentary frustration Caesar felt had finally dissipated along with his ruined experiment, he fully pulled away from your grasp, looking down at the floor with slightly flushed cheeks as he kicked away the sharp shards of glass littered around the two of you. “Look at what you did. Made such a mess.” He muttered, though the mess should be the least of his worries at the moment. It surely was the least of yours. “Couldn’t you have just kept your nose out of my business?!”

“Unfortunately, your business concerns me.” You replied, pressing your lips together to try and at least diminish the sensation lingering on them. You’re sort of glad that you dropped the glassware when you did, because you’re afraid that you might have kissed him back if you hadn’t.

“Like hell it does,” he replied with a self-deprecating huff before crouching on the floor to pick up the bigger pieces of glass. Even at a little over a quarter of his height, he wasn’t that much smaller than you. You could tell that the way he felt about his… feelings wasn’t positive. And, now that you think about it, his behavior makes a lot of sense. Considering that you’re only here for a job, it could be completely uncalled for if he were to develop feelings for you. Borderline unprofessional, if you will. It totally makes sense now why he’d flee from you at the drop of a hat. Caesar has horrible emotional coping techniques.

You couldn’t help but ponder over it all. Sure, you think he’s a bit of a pain, and you find him utterly annoying, but it puzzles you that you actually enjoyed that kiss. Was this the result of being married to your job? “It’s your business until you tell Joker and get transferred and I’ll–” In any case, you decided that you could worry about the details later. You couldn’t stand Caesar finishing that whingeing sentence, so instead you decided to promptly shut him up by kissing him, seeing as how it was the only thing on your mind at the moment.

Thank goodness that you felt him sway a bit before he fell ass first into shards of glass and were able to stabilize him by holding onto his shoulder with your free hand. He let out a muffled grunt of surprise against your mouth before you parted. “Not a word to Joker about this.”

Caesar nodded, as dazed as you had been when he was the one who took you by surprise earlier. “Agreed.”

[nomi--sunrider]

⭐ for the fic writer's ask!

Ah, a behind the scenes for Then, Now, and Always. Let's see....

Oh I know! I'll unpack the scene that got me the most negative feedback I've ever received on anything I've written: The Duel from Chapter 25: Battle of the Goddesses.

(I haven't talked about Then, Now, and Always in like a month, so be prepared for an essay.)

I thought up the silent Tally/enraged Alder epic duel very early on in the drafting process. Literally, it's in the first, very very rough draft in my docs, which is about 15 pages long and half-summary, half- little bites of scenes.

The reason I wanted them to have The Duel is twofold:

It's genuinely the most tragic thing I could think of for two people who love(d) each other. Y'know? Like Anakin and Obi-Wan on Mustafar. Badass scene, but you're fully aware of the tragedy all the way through. It's supposed to hurt that these two women who once loved each other are now on opposite sides of a war and forced to do battle.

2. I thought it would be fucking awesome.

Part of the inspiration of Then, Now, and Always was this scene:

Tally Craven's hottest scene in the whole show imo. What was I gonna do, give her an enhanced witch baton and not let her use it to full effect? And who else was she going to fight who mattered? It had to be Alder.

Also, Alder's headbutt was dumb. You can quote me on that.

Look, if nothing else, Alder and Tally fight in the actual show. And that fight is important, it does have narrative and thematic relevance, and there is a damn good reason it happened. Unfortunately, that fight is also LAME. Seriously, it is the lamest thing ever! And not even because Tally gets her ass kicked in seconds! The scene is shot cleverly, with perspective shifts and quick camera cuts to veil the fact that the actors and stunt doubles aren't really doing that much. It's the only time we see an actual scourge battle that might have given some indication as to why it's the weapon of choice for witches and why witches make such deadly soldiers. And then it's five seconds long and nothing special.

So I wanted to write a cool fight scene for the fic. Not a spar, by the way. Sparring scenes are popular in fiction, but I personally think they're pointless (unless the author is trying to accomplish something unserious). Literally, a spar is a fake fight. A fascimile. It isn't real. I wanted to write something very, very real. And that led to a lot of the narrative wrapping around making Battle of the Goddesses possible.

Someone on Discord posted during a TNAA discussion "Oh Alder would never hurt Tally." The thing about that is a.) canonically, she can and she has, and b.) For Then, Now, and Always, that's actually not an unreasonable assertion to make. Alder is carrying one hell of a torch. Therefore, I had to make Alder angry enough to actually fight Tally with no holds barred and every intention of beating her.

And that ended up making Chapter 24: Judgment, what it is. In that same very early doc, I had this Petra line.

Literally, that's all. I had no idea where I'd put it or for what reason, but it felt important. I knew about the Ozarks twist from the start, so I knew that someone had to call out Alder for her judgment eventually. Then I realized that, since my plan when I started drafting TNAA was to fix everything, including mandatory freaking conscription of a persecuted minority group, I had the perfect, perfect opportunity to make Alder vicious enough to kill.

Tally's trying dissolve the Salem Accords. That was her endgame the whole time.

Now Alder's angry enough to fight to the death and make the duel truly epic, Tally's goal is much broader, the fic has the chance to move into deeply philosophical, big-picture territory, and I get a pair of dope-ass chapters out of it. Eight birds, one stone. I was so happy.

Zooming back out, I think part of the reason a lot of folks were upset by Battle of the Goddesses pertains to my theory that fanfiction is like ice cream. Easy to eat, requires no effort, delicious and instantly satisfying. The main romantic pairing isn't supposed to fight each other to the literal death, even if it's fucking awesome and deeply symbolic. Duels/battles/wars between two love interests are common fare in sci-fi/fantasy because of their intense thematic and narrative heft, but not in fanfic. That's serving roasted sweet potatoes and kale at an ice cream parlor. It's too much for a lot of readers.

Finally, I think a lot of readers were upset about Alder losing the fight. Here's the thing:

It's not interesting if she wins.

Just like it's not interesting if Goliath beats David or if Jamal doesn't win the jackpot in Slumdog Millionaire. It's a story. The underdog has to win against all odds by their cleverness and mettle. Yes, I too, am sad that Sarah Alder's trauma was never addressed. She's a traumatized, damaged victim of the narrative and her story is a tragedy, start to finish. I think a big draw of the Talder ship is that it allows us to protect and humanize Alder in a way the show never did. Few people want to see her be the victim of even more pain in fic.

This doesn't change the fact that General Sarah Alder is brutal, unyielding, and violent. She's a three hundred year old soldier and her entire existence is war. She is not a good person. To defang her without earning it would be OOC. Trauma doesn't make good people. Healing makes good people. And there's no indication in canon that Sarah Alder has healed in any way, shape, or form.

If you've read this all the way til the end, that's very kind of you. Thanks for letting me ramble!

Why her character arc in Then, Now, and Always really doesn't start until Arc III lmao. When Alder is on her knees, defeated and disgraced, but instead of Petra and Tally going for the kill like they did in the show, they both offer a hand to help her back up. Alder heals because she's given the chance to do so by the people around her. Because I chose to not, y'know, immediately kill her off after tearing her from her pedestal. Genuinely, I have lost so much sleep over all of the amazing, transformative character work the show had in its damn lap and chose to ignore.

[m1yabi]

"Bewailed"

Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst

(Kinda inspired by the song "Ex by Stray Kids")

Hyunjin wasn't the best boyfriend. He was immature, treated you wrong, made you feel lonely, and most importantly, made you despise him. He greatly regretted his decision after a day without you. He's pining for you, craving your touch every second, yearning your presence all the time, and wishing that he had known better. 3 years later, he meets you again in a nearby cafe as a barista.

(Hyunjin's disgusted face before scrolling)

2019, April 24th

"Hwang Hyunjin, I don't think this is working out." You said along with a sigh. "Likewise." Hyunjin huffed out with anger. "Since we both know we aren't compatible being together, why don't we just break up?" Hyunjin finally snapped. You both had a huge fight. Ever since Stray Kids won their first reward for their comeback, "MIROH" Hyunjin got very busy. He came from canceling dates to full on neglecting you. Due to his lack of sleep because of the heavy schedule he's on, he tends to have mood swings and you sometimes are affected by it.

You had enough of this. You did not want a boyfriend who would treat you like this. This wasn't the first time this happened either. Ever since he became an idol, he has been busy. You can't blame him, so instead, you realized you and him were not compatible with each other.

After tears stream down your eyes from his words, he had regretted everything. He went to hug you, but you pushed him away. "I'll pack my things tonight. Goodbye." You said with a broken voice. As you shut the door, he fell on to his knees and sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed. He knew more than anyone else that he was wrong. Letting out his anger at you, neglecting you, canceling dates, acting cold towards you, the list goes on.

He didn't have the strength to even stand up anymore. You were his best friend, his sidekick, his significant other, his other half, his soulmate, his lover. Or should he say, ex lover. Losing someone he had known for many years before his fame was devastating.

The night was spent with tears from both you and him. You slowly opened the door to see Hyunjin shocked to see you, relieved even. "Y-Y/n..let's talk. please?" He said. Though you expected him not to care as he was the one who suggested you guys to break up, he seems just as miserable as you. Messy hair, red and puffy eyes, red nose, and even some broken nails from biting it.

"I'm sorry-" You were interrupted with a hug at your waist. He hugged you tight. "Y/n, I'm so sorry. Just the word sorry can't express my regret. I- I really am sorry. Please- give me another chance. You can hate me and let your anger out at me, so please-" You pushed him away.

"Hyunjin,.." This was the first time you saw him like this. So desperate and so pitiful. However, you have had enough. He has treated you the same way for 3 years. You'd be lying if you said you lost feelings for him, because you still loved him. But, you know, that he was not the one. "I can't do it anymore Hyunjin. I can't stand to see your face." Was all that you said.

Hyunjin felt his heart drop. Eyes widen at your words, and petrified. "I understand. I'll stay in my room till you are done packing. Please lock the door once you are done." He said with a forced smile. You really wanted to run to him, hold him, and forgive him, but you can't anymore. It was too late.

2022 October 23rd

"Have a great day!" You smiled at the costumer. "Fucking bitch she almost got me fired" you mumbled under your breath once the costumer walked away. "Y/n, can you fix the board outside? Some kids kicked it again." You co-worker said. "Ah, yeah yeah sure."

Hyunjin saw a eye catching cafe. Recently, he had been obsessed with coffee, having 3 cups a day. He saw the board and saw pictures of the sold coffees. He couldn't resist. "Felix, you guys can go first. I'm gonna to check something out." Hyunjin said his farewells and happily went to the cafe.

He came to a pause when he saw you, wearing a work uniform, and fixing the board you saw minutes ago. "Ughh those damned kids. I swear, everyone is stopping me from getting a promotion!" You groaned. "Excuse me" A man's voice was heard, which sounded oddly familiar. "Ah- oh, hello mamm sir, what may I get yo..." You were in shock to see him. Hwang Hyunjin.

"Long time no see, Y/n" Hyunjin greeted you with the happiest smile ever. "Hyun...jin? Is that really you?" You asked in disbelief. "Your one and only."

[undead-potatoes]

So! Tell me about Aurora! Did they have a life before the Urge came calling? How has their journey been through the game? Are they romancing anybody or do they have any other significant bonds?

I hope you don't mind, but I decided to split this into two posts. You asked about her journey through the game, and suddenly I had written 1400 words that didn't fit with the rest. So uuh yeah, here's the first and the last question at least!

I'm still a little unsure about her life before the Urge. There's the few "canon" things we're given through bits of dialogue (like murdering their parents as a child), but I honestly don't tend to get too caught up in canon if I want to do something different.

She had a lot of nightmares as a child (thanks dad), and it made her a very skittish and nervous child. In combination with minor Urges which made her say and sometimes do off-putting shit, I imagine she wasn't exactly a social butterfly. Like once she probably bit someone when the Urge overtook her, but bc they were baby urges and she was like 6-years-old it didn't really do much but alienate her.

But I think she was otherwise a good kid, doing her best and loved by her adoptive parents, even if they probably worried about her a lot.

I kinda like the idea of her being slightly older, someone who briefly escaped her heritage due to Bhaal's death before he returned in full, and the Urge became too strong to ignore. To have the Urge hovering around in the background her entire life, but always being able to repress it, until she suddenly couldn't.

Idk there's just something to the tragedy of being so close to escaping your predestined fate, when in reality it was always going to end like that, on way or another. You never truly escaped anything, you simply just delayed the inevitable.

She could still have murdered her family, still living with her adoptive parents and possible siblings, or maybe she had her own family by then. Either way, Bhaal would have wanted them out of the way.

The Urge building and building, sending her flip-flopping between moments of bloodlust and lucidity filled with fear, until the Urge took her away completely.

(Would the Urge even work like that for any of this? Who cares, just gonna do as Larian does, my city now).

TL;DR: I don't even know, it's still stewing in there.

- - -

Though I've watched like every Durge related video on YouTube, I haven't actually played very far in Aurora's playthrough, mostly bc I'm waiting for Larian to stop breaking the game with every new patch 🙈

Meaning I haven't actually had a lot of time with her interacting with the companions and gotten a good feel for where they're at.

Wyll and Shadowheart are possible candidates for some at least surface level boding. Like Wyll's whole "self sacrifice for the good of others" thing, and with Shadowheart they both have been brainwashed and forced into cruelty in service of an evil god.

And Karlach bc I love her and I said so.

Maybe some more interesting dynamics will pop up once I really get in there with her 🤔 (Larian fix your shit already, I want to plaaay)

There's also Jay who's already wrangling every other companion and their problems, so I'm sure he'll have some fingers in her pies too eventually (it's what he does, after all).

-

The only solid relationship to have formed in my head as of yet is her romance, and bc I'm as original as a pair of earbuds from AliExpress, she eventually starts a thing with Astarion.

He initially sees her as an easy target, a shy and possibly meek person quite literally removed from the others at camp (a deliberate choice on her part), but it doesn't go quite as he had planned.

I've written a whole post about it that's hanging out in my drafts, but tl;dr: he tries to bite her, but she wakes and angrily sends him away. She later comes to him one night, panicked after the Murder At Camp™, and he (begrudgingly) agrees to help her with the body. This begins this weird partnership where they keep each other's secret, and she lets him drink from her as thanks for helping her.

Their relationship is a bit rocky at first, like they don't hate each other or anything, but there's a fair share of bickering and such. She can be a bit blunt, and is too impatient and exhausted from the urge to deal with his very obvious mind games, tiredly telling him "stop trying to seduce me, you already have what you came for".

When he offers to sleep with her at the party, she thinks "why not". They're already putting each other at risk, so might as well have some fun with it. He might have tried to bed her sooner if she hadn't been so blunt and unapproachable, but it did also give him some time to rethink his strategy. Based on finds with the freecam during his party sex scene, he has set up a lil spot on a blanket, with wine and maybe some food, in an attempt to seem more genuine, which admittedly she does find a little cute.

Ultimately it's all the bits in between, the quiet moments after feeding or sex that gives them an excuse to talk, and they realize they enjoy each other's company a lot more than they first thought. She vibes with him a lot more when he's being genuine, something she sees more of when he's fed and generally less guarded.

She've kept her distance from the others bc of the urge, in fear of either harming someone, or being discovered through the tadpoles somehow. It puts her on edge constantly, but Astarion already knows, and she knows he doesn't judge her for it, so she's more at ease too.

Aurora can become ride or die pretty fast, especially in combination with other intense personality traits (hello devotion), and I think maybe Astarion picks up on that and thinks he can use that to his advantage. At least until he too accidentally catches feelings and becomes pretty ride or die himself lmao. Great job idiot.

Which is also when her more self sacrificing nature goes from something that could be to his advantage, to something that actively upsets him. Stop it! Stop sacrificing yourself for others who probably don't even deserve it! Stop putting yourself in situations that could take you away from me for no good reason.

They're note super lovey-dovey either. Like sure there's romance and tenderness there, but there's also some clash of personalities ("stop being an asshole" "stop trying to be such a bloody hero"). Nothing too bad but there's definitively something for them to work on.

This became the Aurora and Astarion post, sorry about that (not really). I hope to have some better answers to these in the future, my brain is still cooking (unfortunately it's a slowcooker).

[timaeusterrored]

(I’m writing this now to get it out of my SYSTEM)

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up over a meeting.” Kerry stated, leaning against the wall while he fixed his bracelets into place.

“Yeah well, this isn’t a meeting with executives. This..” Vex leaned closer to the mirror. “Is a meeting with your ex wife.” She said, looking at him through the mirror. He was smiling at her, shaking his head.

“You said you wanted to meet her one day.” Kerry came over to help zip up her dress and ran his hands over her hips. “She won’t bite… not unless you ask.” Kerry laughed when he was swatted away.

“Don’t be an asshole.” Vex huffed, fixing her hair once more before deciding she was as ready as she’d ever be.

Vex watched as Kerry went to go greet his ex wife, the meeting was civil enough. Cheek kisses and a how are you? But it all seemed so natural. And holy shit she was gorgeous.

“And you must be Vex, it’s very nice to hear Ker has someone setting him in stone now.” Louise shook her hand and smiled, Kerry leading the ladies back in. Vex desperately wishes she could tell literally anyone that she was currently in bisexual heaven.

The three talked, Louise asking Vex questions over wine and Vex answering honestly. She was surprised to find out Kerry was dating an ex-Arasaka worker, because that went against everything the rocker believed in. He just shrugged and said people change. Vex felt there was a hidden meaning in that.

They ended up going out to dinner that night, a fancy place with privacy for the ex couple to enjoy dinner without the media hounding them. The conversation continued while Louise told the story of how the two had met and had two kids, and Vex wondered if she could bring up Victoria now or maybe wait until her and Louise were closer. She still got antsy about it.

By the end of the night, the three were full and happy, joking like old friends. Vex always did make friends easier than her brother ever had. She was getting ready for bed when the sound of the guest room door closed and Kerry walked into the bedroom.

“That wasn’t terrible was it?” He asked, already knowing Vex would say no. The woman just rolled her eyes, cleaning off her makeup.

“What do I see in you again?”

“God if I knew the answer to that.” He bent down and kissed her cheek, starting to get undressed.

“You never told me you were married to a model.” Vex hummed.

“Her picture is at the Villa, I thought that was proof enough!” Kerry stated, sitting down to take his boots off. “There’s more context to that, I can feel it-“ he looked up at her, eyebrows raised.

“In the years I’ve known Louise, I don’t know if she’s into women, or threesomes.” Kerry stated, making Vex’s face hot.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t have too, sweetheart. It was all over your face.” Kerry grinned, kicking his boots off.

Vex groaned and covered her face, making her partner laugh again. “I was just letting you know. Not that she hasn’t changed since our split.” He hummed, laying back on the bed.

Vex came and laid on top of him, his arms coming around her. She hadn’t been thinking that until Kerry had said something. But now she was. Why the fuck would he even suggest it?! That was his ex wife, they split for a reason. She wouldn’t force them back together.

[faggotmox]

Thoughts on writing something where Bryan is only obsessed with Danny bc Bryan is into Yuta and is jealous that Danny and Yuta are A Thing?

ranger requests [ anon, yes i have thoughts ]

tw: obsessive compulsive disorder, bryan has ocd

It rubbed Bryan the wrong way. Most things did but this...this bothered him. For months he had been going after that asshole kid Garcia, and yes there was so much potential. That had little to do with why Bryan was obsessed with Daniel Garcia.

Instead it was the way Garcia and Wheeler interacted. In ring, in promos, backstage, in interviews. It's so obvious that it causes Bryan physical pain. Everyone else was oblivious which just fed into Bryan's obsession with Wheeler and Garcia. It started after Garcia had left that huge bite mark on Wheeler. Something in that match broke something loose in Bryan.

Bryan wanted Wheeler so bad. At first he couldn't figure out why Wheeler wasn't actually fucking Mox, then Claudio. But he wasn't. The youngest member of the stable had flirted with both but quietly, politely declined. The flirting Bryan did was Wheeler was in the ring, in training, and Wheeler never quietly, or politely declined him.

Then there was Garcia. Bryan couldn't figure it out so he obsessed over it. Normally Bryan didn't use twitter, instagram, or his phone much in general, but he made up a fake account each place to follow Garcia. Had spent many sleepless nights scrolling through every post Garcia made to find tidbits of Wheeler, to affirm this relationship. And eventually Bryan just found himself obsessed with both boys.

Bryan started going after Garcia more and more. Started shutting out Wheeler more too. If Wheeler wasn't going to be honest with Bryan then Bryan would get it out of either of them the hard way.

After the interview with Renee, Bryan thought maybe he had unlocked something as he walked back to the locker room. Wheeler was angry that Garcia was obsessed with Bryan now, and that Bryan didn't seem to pay any attention to him anymore. This was maybe Bryan's shot.

As soon as the door swung open Wheeler was on Bryan. Strong hands weaved into the blue mountings on Bryan's sweater and threw him to the hard floor, making Bryan slide into some benches from the force of him. The rest of the team scattered, shouting expletives as Bryan was put down. No one could stop Wheeler as he mounted Bryan and started reigning punches down. There was shouting from everyone. Someone got hold of Wheeler's hand which gave Bryan enough of an opening to move into a full guard before flipping them and carefully climbing off Wheeler. Everyone was quiet now.

"Fuck you, Bryan!" Wheeler shouted from the floor as Bryan spat blood onto the concrete. "What the hell is your problem?!"

Bryan didn't answer as he looked around at his mentor and friends then down at Wheeler who was slowly getting off the floor. Regal seemed to understand something that Bryan did not and ushered the others away.

"Are you kidding? They're gonna kill each other!" Mox grunted as Regal shoved him out the door.

"That's why we will be waiting just outside. If we are needed we will come back inside." Regal spoke like he had to explain this to a toddler as the door closed behind them.

"What's your fucking problem?" Wheeler was in Bryan's face. "You don't think I belong here? That he deserves it more?!" Wheeler was yelling now. "I'm better than Danny! I know he has my title, Bryan, our title, but just give me a chance! I'll get it back."

"This has nothing to do with the title." Bryan said coldly. The blood Wheeler drew trickled down into his beard from the split in his lip.

"Then what, Bryan, then what?!" Wheeler grabbed at his shirt again but this time it wasn't to throw the older man. It was desperate as Wheeler tugged. "This is driving me crazy. I don't mean in a fun way either. I can't sleep or eat, I fuckin---" Wheeler had to take a few deep breathes. "If I just understood what was wrong I could fix it."

"You can't fix it. I'm not going to ask you to break up with Garcia for me, Wheeler." Bryan admitted. It was out there now. The weight of Wheeler's despair too much for Bryan.

"What?" Wheeler stepped back a few paces.

"You heard me, Wheeler." Bryan tucked his hands into his pockets, not bothering to brush away the blood still trickling.

"Bryan." Wheeler sounded more angry than Bryan had ever heard him.

"What?" Bryan tried his best to keep his voice neutral.

"I've never once dated, fucked, or kissed Daniel Garcia." Wheeler growled out, his words sounding like gravel in a wood chipper.

"...what?" Bryan looked completely shocked. He was so sure. He knew. He...he'd seen. Something? Stuff? Bryan swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You fucking heard me." Wheeler snapped as he grabbed his things.

"You guys aren't...?" Bryan licked the blood off his lip. The copper taste grounding him.

"Nope. Never have, never would have." Wheeler shoved Bryan to get past even though there was plenty of space to walk. "Don't fucking talk to me Bryan. I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

Bryan was still staggered by Wheeler's shove when those words bounced around the empty room, and Wheeler left.

Wheeler was gone.

[the-birds-corner]

TW: ED blurb

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Make sure to leave a little for your brother" Said my mother, passing me a bowl of salad that she already took a bowl full of. There wasn't much.

It's fine, I'll just get a small bowl so it feels like a lot. I'll get a bowl full too. I hadn't eaten yet today, it was about noon and too warm to be comfortable fixing anything so a cool salad kit was all i had to rely on.

I started to portion some out to see how much I could get. I started moving some into my bowl. The salad was half way portioned out and there wasn't much left in the bowl. He wanted some. I needed to leave him a decent amount.

But I didn't have that much. No, it's fine, I was telling myself. You don't need any anyway so this is a generous amount. I could feel the lump forming in my throat as I passed him the rest. He noticed I hardly had any.

"Do you want more? I already have food, you can have more."

My eyes were starting to burn. "No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

Please stop talking "Yeah, it's fine."

"Okay, I'll just put this in the fridge for later then"

I started eating, taking little bites. Little bites and I'll feel full. I'm fine. The lump in my throat wouldn't go away.

Mom had plenty in her bowl and my brother had a bowl of ramen noodles that he cooked a special way to mix things up. And then there I was, only halfway filled with a bowl that was already small to make it feel like I had more.

It felt hard to eat. I felt guilt, I felt sadness, I felt responsible. 

I always did this. I always was the one to take a smaller amount than the rest of the family so someone else can have plenty. Every time. Did anyone notice? Probably not, I always played it off as not being that hungry or saying I ate earlier. Or I took food when no one was around so no one could say anything. Even when I was starving from not eating much earlier or being really busy, I never complained. I always took my little amount and stuck with the lump in my throat and faint burn in my eyes without another word.

I couldn't produce another word. I felt mute.

I couldn't talk or the words would turn to tears. But I just had to give it a bit and I'd be fine. If I just spoke up, I know mom would apologize for not making enough and do something. Hell, even just a notice would be enough. Maybe I prefer it looked over though. I'm fine being left hungry.

I could eat later. But I never can. Sometimes I can hardly finish the little amount I have. Like now. I look at the couple small bited I have left and I start to feel ill almost. I don't want to eat it. It feels wrong. I feel greedy for not leaving him more. I feel guilty for forgetting to tell him mom was bringing a salad kit because he wanted some salad instead. He didn't want ramen, he despised it but it's all we had. 

I could have had the ramen instead. Even though I've had it every day for, I can't even recall how many days. 

I forced myself to finish it. It's still hard to interact but I force it, to seem fine. I'm not. But I am for them.

He asks if I'm still hungry later.

"No, I'm good." I lie, feeling the lump return

Now sitting here, after being shaky and feeling off as I clean to not think, my stomach rumbles. It feels hungry and tells me I need food. But I have to wait. I can't eat now because mom is cooking later. Besides, I don't need to eat now. I'm fine just dealing with it. I keep telling myself these things. Every time my stomach rumbles, I feel my breaths start to hitch with a full body feeling of wanting to cry. I wish I didn't feel like I needed to keep doing these things to myself. I wish I could feel not guilty over needing to eat. I wish I had a healthy relationship with eating.

I've tried so hard to mend it. I was doing good, I was…

And look at me now.

[mxngldmxdnsss]

maneater - michael afton

pairing - michael x reader

cw! reader is domming | humiliation, impact play, bdsm, name calling and unprotected sex

sexual content ahead : proceed with caution!

You knew your coworker had a crush on you. If you could call it that. Did you mind? Not at all, in fact, you enjoyed teasing him about it, not blatantly, of course, but subtly. Always beating him to the vent, forcing him into having to go right after you, knowing he was staring at your ass. Today was no different, it started slow, pushing past him, purposefully pressing your breasts against his back as you did.

Biting your lip, trying to contain a giggle, surprised when he slammed his fists against the desk angrily. “Will you fucking stop that?” You whipped your head around, putting on an act. “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why’re you being mean?” Michael opened his mouth to say something when the HandUnit came on. “Hello you two. I hate to interrupt, but there is a problem in the breaker room! If one of you could go and fix it, there should be no problem!”

Michael immediately got up, getting into the vent, making his way to the breaker room, trying to avoid you. You huffed plopping down in your chair. “He can be mad all he wants. Party pooper.” You went back to your duties, forgetting Michael had even left. That was until you checked the clock, it’d be almost an hour since he had gone to the breaker room, surely it didn’t take that long? Maybe he was still mad and planned on staying there until he cooled off?

But you couldn’t help yourself when you got up, reluctantly crawling into the vent. Making your way to the breaker room, you were surprised to find that everything was fine. You paused for a moment, trying to listen for Funtime Freddy, when you heard nothing, you guessed he was beckoned back onto the stage by BonBon. Looking around you called out for Michael, about to give up when you heard a muffled cry. Turning around, you saw Michael, tied to a chair, gag in his mouth.

He sat there, trying to wiggle out of his restraints. You snorted, this had actually happened before. Tinkering with everything in the breaker room sometimes meant pressing the wrong things, and being mistaken for an intruder. Ending up tied to a chair until six am when you would be released by HandUnit. This was one of the main reasons you’d been hired, there for extra security and precaution.

You slowly made your way over to Michael, watching his face contort from worry to..annoyance, glaring at you as you paused in front of him. You leaned forward, grabbing his shoulders. “Hm now what do we have here? Am intruder? Shame.” Michael groaned, rolling his eyes, his irritation didn’t last long. You straddled him, giggling as his eyes widened.

His cock was quick to harden, pants straining against your cunt. You played into this act, acting as if you were disgusted. “To think someone would dare break into this place, you truly must be evil.” Sneering, you rocked your hips against Michael’s, witnessing him whine and buck his hips up. “I should..teach you a lesson.”

You got up, pulling off your pants, before unbuckling Michael belt. You were quick to yank down his boxers, cock springing out, half hard. Straddling Michael once more, you stared at him, you didn’t care for foreplay, no, you were only using him for your own pleasures. Lining up Michael’s tip with your hole, you pushed down, gasping when you realized how big he was. You grabbed at Michael’s shoulders, stuffing yourself full.

You didn’t hesitate to begin bouncing, moaning out. You reached forward, taking off Michael’s gag, tossing it to the side as you steadied yourself. Moans filling the small room. “You’re disgusting. You hear me?” Bouncing faster, you ripped your shirt off.

Turning your attention to Michael, you curled your nose, watching as he averted his gaze, grunts leaving his throat. You grabbed his face, masking pleasure for anger. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Michael huffed, snapping his hips up to try and shut you up. But two could play at that game, you bought your hand down, slapping him before grabbing his face again. “Dirty pervert. You think I don’t notice when you get hard over me. Do you go home and think about me? Fuck-you’re-”

You groaned, Michael’s tip hitting your g-spot, his moans spurred you on. “You’re a man-a whore, you hear me. Pathetic and gross.” Gasping, Michael bucked his hips up desperately. Humping your hips, so close to release. Breasts jiggling, you leaned forward catching Michael’s lips in a kiss. Your bouncing sloppy and rushed, you shuddered when Michael moaned into your mouth.

Feeling your high rear closer, you dug your fingers into Michael’s shoulders, abdomen tightening as your pussy clamped around his cock. Finally your orgasm hit you, your body shivering as you gushed around Michael, him cumming soon after you with a loud moan.

You gasped for air, panting filling the air between the two of you. Leaning back you caught Michael’s gaze, grabbing his face before pressing a kiss to his lips. Reaching behind him to undo his restraints, sliding off of him so you could clean up.

Michael stood, pulling on his pants as you redressed, sliding his arm around your waist, leaning against you as you two made your way to the vent, ready to leave work and go home together for more.

[moonlit-jeno]

friends (m.)

pairing: lee jeno x fem reader

genre: explicit sexual content | omegaverse | heat sex | unprotected sex | some name calling

words: 3.6k

don’t like don’t read :)

“Your heat’s coming up.” Jeno says, point blank in between bites of his apple. You just nod, taking a break from your notes to side eye him. It’s not odd for him to know intimate details of your life- you do make sure to keep him updated on your cycle just so that he can send you the notes for the days you miss - but it’s not exactly a common subject for the two of you. “Who are you spending it with?”

There are still 13 powerpoint slides for you to grind through, but you figure a small break won’t hurt. Might as well use the conversation topic for something good, aka a reason to slam your laptop shut. You turn to Jeno, giving your best friend your full attention, and take the iced coffee right out of his hand. He doesn’t protest. “No idea. Would call Jaemin but he’s ‘found the one’ or something, so I’ll probably just spend it by myself.”

“By yourself?” Jeno’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as if you’ve just admitted to committing a sin. It’s not like the concept isn’t unheard of, there’s a market full of toys to help you through it. “Isn’t that dangerous?” You shrug and take a sip of the coffee, offering him your smoothie in exchange. He takes a sip and then bites down on your straw. His entire face scrunches and he yanks his face away from the beverage. He pulls the straw up, inspecting the now soggy and dented object with disgust. “Fuck, what is this made out of?”

“Paper.” You huff a laugh out through your nose, taking your smoothie back. “And I mean, it’s not any more dangerous than spending your heat with the wrong person. Plus, my heats get kind of… intense.” If Jaemin sleeping for three days straight and limping after is anything to go by, both parties take the short end of the stick. You’d felt so bad after and apologized to him profusely, but he had just thrown you his signature dazzling grin and told you that drowning in pussy was exactly the way he envisioned himself dying. He definitely didn’t complain about the brownies you’d baked him as a ‘thank you’, though.

“Spend your heat with me.” The bold request has your brain malfunctioning, at a loss for where to even start reacting to his statement. You just stare at him, mouth opening and closing repeatedly while he returns the gaze earnestly. “Look, it makes sense, right? I know you better than anyone, and you already trust me. Plus if they’re as intense as I’ve heard they are, you need someone there.”

You frown, opening your laptop up and staring blankly at the screen just to avoid having to look at Jeno. It does make sense to have him there with you, and it’s not like he’s the worst person to have sex with. Plenty of people around campus have delighted in talking about their nights with Jeno, dreamily telling you how lucky you are to have him and falling deaf to your insistence that the two of you aren’t like that. Plus, you’re not blind and even if you’re not the cute couple everyone thinks you are, you can admit that he’s hot.

“Wait, hang on. What do you mean ‘heard’ about? What shit is Na Jaemin saying?” Jeno’s shoulders shake with his laughter at your sudden concern. “I mean, he didn’t say anything, but that was kind of the problem. He didn’t show up to practice for like a week and when he finally did, he looked like he’d been mauled. Coach had to bench him.”

Your heart drops slightly at hearing that Jaemin’s soccer had been affected. He hadn’t told you that. “Oh.” The guilt must show on your face because Jeno is quickly soothing you, making sure to tell you that they all found Jaemin’s state funny. “Okay, wait. Wouldn’t you have the same problem if you help me?”

“It’s off-season. So, what do you say?” Jeno waits for your response expectantly, eyes soft, curious. “You can say no, y/n. I don’t want to pressure you at all, I’m just letting you know that it’s an option.” “I’ll think about it.” And you do. A concerning amount.

You spend that night tossing and turning, trying and failing to shut your brain off. Worries about ruining your friendship and about hurting Jeno bounce around your brain no matter how much you try to stop thinking about it. What if something bad happens during it? What if you never talk again? And worst of all is your brain telling you that he doesn’t actually want you specifically, he just wants to be with an omega in heat. You’re just convenient. 

That thought actually makes you cry and you wrap your blankets even tighter around yourself, sobbing weakly into your pillows. In an effort to distract your wandering mind you grab for your phone, opening instagram to find an influx of dm’s from Jeno. It calms you a bit, the messages ranging from cute dogs to absolutely cursed memes, and you smile softly at the reminder that he’s your best friend, and that he definitely cares about you. Biting your lip, you hesitate for only a few moments before typing out a “you can help”, hitting send before you can second guess it. You lock your phone and set it face down on the dresser, thankfully finding sleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

It’s hot when you wake up, clothes clinging to your skin uncomfortably. Peeling your shirt off only gives you relief for a moment but then the sticky heat is back full force. You whimper in misery, trying to snuggle back into your bed for at least some comfort, but you find that the corner of your fitted sheet has come up, the rest of your blankets on the floor. There’s only one pillow near you and it’s soaked in sweat. You panic slightly, frantically yanking your sheets back onto the bed and trying to fluff them up as much as possible, only calming down once the bedding has been fixed to your liking. Only once you’ve settled down in the plushness of your blankets do you have a moment of clarity.

“Oh shit.” You shoot up and search for your phone, dropping it once before finally managing to open the correct app. There’s a few messages from Jeno that you don’t bother looking at, going straight for the ‘call’ button. He picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?” He sounds groggy, like he’s just woken up, and a flash of heat runs through you at the low tone. “Why are you calling me at 5 a.m?”

You manage to stop fantasizing about your best friend long enough to choke out the word “Heat.” It comes out pathetic and whiny and you pause to clear your throat, trying to keep a clear head as well. “I’m sorry, my heat came early and I wanted to call you but you can go back to bed, I didn’t realize-”

“Fuck, okay, I’ll be over in 10.” Jeno cuts off your rambling with a swear, some rustling in the background accompanying his words. 

“Thank you.” You whisper, setting the phone down and curling up in bed, trying not to focus on how agonizingly slow the time is passing.

Jeno’s looking down at his shoes when you open the door, kicking idly at the door mat and fidgeting with the bag in his hands, though his head snaps up when he notices you. The smile on his face falters when he inhales, turns a little strained as he gets a taste of your heat, and you honestly give him props for the amount of restraint he has. It’s definitely more than you have, at least, because you’re on him the second he’s inside. He ends up sandwiched between you and the door, bag dangling precariously in one hand while he envelopes you in his strong arms. You don’t (can’t) do anything besides bury your face in his chest and whimper, knowing exactly what you want but being too needy and fuzzy to remedy it.  

“Jeno, it hurts.” You whimper and lift your face to nose along the skin just above the collar of his shirt, finding that while the skin to skin contact helps, it doesn’t fully relieve the heat scorching through you, the dull ache screaming for Jeno to take you already. “Please…” He holds you closer to his chest, encasing you fully in his scent, and picks you up bridal style. “I’ve got you baby, don’t worry.”

Being around Jeno does help to ease your stress, but it also serves to make you needier. The warm scent that you’ve grown to associate with the man is stronger than you’ve ever smelled it and it’s making you lose your mind more and more by the second. You’re worried that you’re drooling by the time he sets you down on your bed. He pauses to drop the bag he’s holding on the floor, and then he’s on top of you, strong arms caging you in.

The first kiss is soft, chaste. It would be cute if you weren’t so fucking needy, but you are and it’s just not enough. Unsatisfied, you thread your fingers through his hair and tug, nipping at his bottom lip and tilting your head to the side to get a deeper angle. A groan rumbles in his chest and he returns the kiss with more intensity, trying to take control again. You don’t let him, even if every instinct in your body is screaming at you to just submit.

Jeno shifts on top of you, scooting so that he can fully lay down between your legs. You wrap your limbs around him on instinct, pulling him as close as you possibly can and- oh. The close proximity means that you feel everything when he grinds down, and the feeling of having him so close to where you need him has any semblance of control that you had draining out of your body. You gasp pitifully, annoyance clawing at you from the amount of fabric blocking you from what you want.

“Please,” You almost sob, tugging at his shirt while trying to grind your lower half against his, the pressure of his cock against your center making your eyes roll. Jeno pulls back to yank his shirt off and then he’s back, hands sliding down your body to your panties, tugging the fabric down as far as he can before he growls in frustration and just rips the fabric in half. 

“Shit, you’re so wet.” Jeno moans in awe, breaking the kiss yet again to marvel at your pussy. “Bet I could just slip right in.” He drags his fingers through the slick on your upper thighs, eyes glued between your legs. You’re just about to complain when he finally presses his fingers into you. The initial relief has you moaning sweetly, though it quickly turns to impatient pleas for his cock. You clench around his fingers, reaching a hand down to palm over where he strains against his sweats.

“I need you to fuck me.” You beg, looking at him with what you hope is a convincing expression. “Please Jen, I need you.” “You have me.” He promises you, flicking his wrist faster, curling his fingers just right. “I’m right here baby.” It’s sweet, and under normal circumstances it would be enough, but right now it’s not what you need and the frustration has you on the brink of tears.

You buck your hips and try to arch up as if it’ll magically make him slip in, but Jeno remains as patient and controlled as ever. It’s too hot and every part of your body is screaming for him to fuck you, for him to claim you, and his refusal is killing you. “Alpha please, I need you.”

He absolutely snarls, pinning down your wriggling body with one hand around your throat. The other hand stays between your legs where it continues to strike pleasure into every single nerve ending you have, adding to the fire already coursing through your veins. “What you need is to take what your Alpha’s giving you. You’re not in charge here, okay?” With his face pressed so close to yours you have no choice but to make direct eye contact, staring straight into the most intense gaze you’ve ever seen. His pupils are blown out so wide that his eyes are almost black. Unable to tear your eyes away and as if in a trance, you find yourself nodding. The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Good girl. Now listen to your Alpha and cum.”

It happens almost instantaneously, as if his words were directly connected to a trigger, your body exploding just as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your entire body locks up, mind going blank as the immense pleasure takes hold of you, leaving you clawing at his back and screaming silently into the air. 

The orgasm only serves to thicken the haze in your mind, clouding any thoughts that aren’t related to the Alpha above you and his cock. It takes a moment for your eyes to finally come back into focus enough to make out your surroundings, and you’re greeted by the sight of Jeno with his fingers in his mouth, sucking your essence off of his digits. You’re burning so hot, so much hotter than you think you’ve been before, and it’s hard for you to function. All you can think about is his cock.

“Please,” You beg, swatting at him weakly. “Alpha please, I need you so bad.”

There’s no way that Jeno isn’t being affected by the pheromones clouding the air, but he manages to appear unbothered, his actions rough but nowhere near as desperate as yours. He just laughs lightly at your begging. “Aww, baby needs me?” The rhetorical question is punctuated by a slap, his hand coming down on your pussy hard enough to draw a yelp from you, thighs closing on his hand in a conflicting attempt to relieve the pressure from the hit and keep his hand on your cunt. He laughs meanly and pulls his hand away, drawing back slightly to spit onto your already soaking pussy, rubbing the spit into your skin while he talks. “This pussy belongs to me, yeah? You’re mine now.” Jeno leans down, mouth at your neck so that he can bite at the skin. “That means that I can do whatever I want with you.” You can’t speak, can’t even begin to think about what you should say in this situation. He presses a kiss to your jaw before pulling back and uses his free hand to turn your head so that you make eye contact with him. “Tell Alpha what you need.” “Need Alpha in me.” You beg, plead, flipping yourself over onto your hands and knees and arching your back, presenting yourself to him. “Need your knot, need you to fill me up, breed me, Alpha please-” Your sentence is cut off by his cock slamming into you, the filthy sound being drowned out by his groan. You gasp in relief, breathy thank you’s leaving you with each powerful thrust he delivers. His cock stretches you out so well, makes you go dizzy with the relief of finally having him in you. Your elbows give out nearly instantly, your chest hitting the mattress, and Jeno takes instant advantage of the new position to pull your hips even higher into the air.

It’s so good- almost too good- and it leaves you drooling and clawing at the sheets. All you can focus on is how well he’s fucking you, how he’s going to fill you up so well, breed you like he was meant to. 

You scream when he pulls out, alarm bells going off as your body instantly protests. It only lasts a second though, Jeno’s hands never leaving your body as he flips you onto your back. 

“Couldn’t see you,” Jeno pants out, dropping a kiss to the corner of your mouth and pushing back in, returning back to the brutal rhythm he had before. It has your eyes rolling in your head at how fucking good he feels. “My pretty baby, taking everything I give her.” 

He’s got you so fucked out that you don’t even realize your tongue is hanging out of your mouth until he pinches it between his thumb and index finger, pulling it out even more. “You love my cock, hmm? You love everything I give you.” The pad of his thumb rubs over your tongue, the sensation making your toes curl and tears slide down your cheeks. “Such a fucking needy omega, isn’t that right?” He tugs on your tongue, your head following his actions as he leads you into nodding.

Jeno laughs and lets go of your tongue, dropping his face down to kiss at your neck. He sucks mark after mark into your skin, licking over each one to soothe it after, until he finally gets to your most sensitive, vulnerable spot. Even just the feeling of him close to your mating mark has your entire body aching for it, your neck craning to the side and pushing into his touch. The leverage you get from your legs wrapped around his waist has him pushing even deeper into you and you can feel his knot at your entrance, not quite fully swollen but definitely getting there. It has you absolutely keening, the thought of being so totally owned making you desperate.The sweet drag of his cock along your walls paired with the absolute filth he’s spewing has your body locking up with no warning, your orgasm ripping through you. You arch off the bed, the action only pushing you further onto his cock.

“God y/n, fuck!” Jeno curses, slamming his hips into you with even more force, his knot popping into your entrance and forcing the neediest sound you’ve ever made to leave your lips. You desperately wrap your limbs around him, trying to get him even closer, digging your heels into his ass to push him further inside. He grinds his hips against you one, two, three more times before he shudders, teeth clamping down right on your sweet spot as he comes. Jeno seems to come forever, filling you up with delicious warmth, making your body purr in satisfaction. He finally comes down, having the clarity of mind to tip the two of you onto your sides so that he doesn’t crush you when he collapses. He still tugs you close, arm thrown around your body possessively, his chin resting atop of your head.

“Told you it was intense.” You laugh out, trying to break the silence in the room. The heat’s subsided for now, but you’re still barely in your mind, and you have no idea how long the break will last. 

He huffs out a laugh, chest shaking against you. “I understand Jaemin now.” His hand pets over your back, sliding up to the back of your neck and scratching lightly at the skin there. “You alright?” “Mhmm, yeah. Perfect.” His fingertips press lightly against the mating mark, sending sparks shooting down your spine, and it has your head spinning. You try to adjust yourself against him in an effort to keep your cool, but moving has his cock shifting inside of you and you sleepily grind against him, not thinking. Jeno hisses and tightens his grip on you to keep you still, but the way he grabs your leg has him shifting inside of you and pressing against all the right places. Heat floods through you and your grinding turns more urgent. 

“Ohgod,” You moan, finding enough strength to push Jeno flat on his back. Your body has a mind of its own and you find yourself bouncing desperately on his cock. His knot has you locked into place and you’re barely able to move, but you can still swirl and grind your hips against him, feel the delicious friction of his knot against your entrance. “Alpha, it feels so good.”

“Fuck, look at you. So fucking knotdrunk, hmm? Can’t get enough.” Jeno shakes his head, laughs in a way that’s meant to mock you but it comes out strained. His hands are heavy on your ass, squeezing and slapping to feel the way it jiggles, to feel the way you clench around him with every hit. You throw your head back and let him do as he pleases, losing yourself entirely in how full you feel, in how good his knot feels in you. He buries his face into your chest, moving one hand from your ass to play with your tits, his mouth wasting no time in marking the delicate skin up. 

“Shit baby, gonna make me cum again.” His lips seal over your mating mark again in a sloppy kiss and that’s exactly the final push that you need, your eyes rolling back and your tongue lolling out as your cunt spasms around him, orgasm ripping through you almost painfully. Jeno groans as well, hand flying to your back to pull you as close as possible, and his knot pulses inside of you as you swear you feel more cum shoot out.

He shudders against you, tight grip finally relaxing, though he still keeps you anchored to his chest. You follow suit, collapsing against him. A tired moan leaves you and you let yourself relax, lips absentmindedly mouthing at his skin. His hand pets your back soothingly, touch heavy and sluggish, and the last thing you feel before you fall asleep is his lips on your forehead.

[frogtanii]

a roar of competitive cheers burst from your hospital room, the boys all piled up on your bed playing in a smash tournament on bokuto’s switch. it was rather endearing to watch the good and grown men argue about which princess was a better competitor (rosalina, obviously, despite not being an actual princess) and, in sakusa’s case, pouting like a sore loser when his favorite — daisy — wasn’t even regarded as a real threat.

he absolutely dominated the next round in retaliation, to the group’s chagrin.

you eventually decided to take a break, the stuffiness and loudness of the room getting to you. the boys, while giving you a variety of concerned looks, respected your decision, leaving you to wander out of your space, clad in the semi revealing hospital gown and fuzzy yellow socks.

it was less than convenient to trudge around with your iv attached to your arm but you didn’t mind. the struggle kept your mind off of what you dubbed as The Incident™, weird as it sounded.

for some reason, the smallest things helped keep you occupied, thanks to your vigilance. your call with doctor yamada definitely helped, his sarcastic, biting nature criticizing some random kdrama had you cackling in your seat until your throat was (even more) sore.

at first, you felt a bit awkward calling him when you physically couldn’t speak but he took it in stride, filling up the silence with his commentary that was much, much appreciated.

actually, all the boys had been surprisingly good about your predicament. it took a moment for bokuto and suga to get used to your lack of responses but they eventually grew accustomed to it and even relished your minuscule reactions to one of their jokes or funny quips.

you were actually, finally, enjoying your time with your housemates and it felt good.

well, not all of your housemates. daichi was a given. you’d seen very little of him after the dinner, only laying eyes on him when he visited your hospital bed when he thought you were sleeping. the look of remorse and shame written all over his face was burned into your memory and you made a mental note to find a way to have a conversation with him in an attempt to clear the air.

while daichi’s situation at least made sense, kenma’s did not. you missed him deeply, and you had no idea what to do or say to fix what had been broken. apparently, both kuroo and sakusa had attempted to reach out, but they were quickly shut down. you could tell kuroo was more hurt than he let on, occasionally catching the tail-end of intense conversation between him and omi, but they were both quick to slap on a smile and change the subject as not to worry you when you made your presence known.

you appreciated their concern, you did, but kenma was your friend too and you desperately wanted to know what you could do to help.

a deep sigh left your lips, the action only causing a slight twinge in your throat as you meandered through the cold halls. your brain started to hurt as you thought more and more about it, stress climbing up your spine and burrowing at the base of your skull.

annoying, you thought, your eye twitching in irritation. headaches sucked mad ass and you were not looking forward to the hell of the one that was building up as you walked.

turning down another hallway, you abruptly stopped, your iv screeching to halt interrupting the hushed conversation that a certain someone was having at the far end of the corridor.

kenma!

kenma twisted towards you, his feline eyes widening in surprise as he whispered a hushed goodbye to whoever he was speaking to before shoving his phone into his pocket and staring at you in shock, pain, and most prominently,

guilt.

pure, unadulterated guilt permeated from all over him, the stench coming off of him in waves. you nearly flinched at the sight of him, the deep circles under his eyes practically broadcasting his struggle to the whole world.

your name dropped from his lips in a low whisper, his immediate reaction afterwards leading you to believe he hadn’t meant to say it aloud at all.

you chanced a step forward at his utterance, and then another and another until you were face to face with each other. you felt his eyes searching yours but you made sure to keep your face neutral if not for the blatant worry written all over it.

his plush bottom lip was pulled in between his teeth as his hands twitched by his sides as if he wasn’t exactly sure where to put them. you let out a soft breath at the sight, kind of hoping he would just give you a hug like it looked like he wanted to.

but, kenma held back, waiting for you to do something, to say something (not that you could) to absolve this horribly tense silence that the pair of you were now enshrouded in.

gently peeling your fingers from your iv stand, you lifted them to sign in the small space between your chests, in clear view of his observant gaze.

you recalled with fondness when a handful of the house members had decided to learn a bit of sign language, just in case someone was in a panic attack and became nonverbal. the impromptu learning session had been so much fun that the group had began regularly meeting to expand their sign language vocabulary and fluency until you all were at least semi fluent (in all the ways that mattered at least).

kenma was a member of that group and you’d throughly enjoyed his witty remarks throughout the lesson and his occasional cute little giggles that were liberally interspersed into conversation. that kenma was in such stark contrast to this kenma that it was almost jarring as he watched your hands with rapt attention, awaiting anything you had to say.

i missed you, you began slowly, not missing the way his eyes immediately became glassy and his hands tightened to fists by his sides.

“you shouldn’t,” he replied, his voice deep and gritty. “not after what i did.”

you cocked your head in confusion at his words. what he did? you had no idea what he was talking about but you were determined to get to the bottom of it if that was what was making him avoid you like this.

what did you do?

kenma’s jaw clenched, the guilt that had faded away for a moment, coming back full force. “i... i did this to you...” he motioned to the healing bruises on your neck and the iv stand still by your side.

now you were even more perplexed. he wasn’t the one who cornered you in the bathroom so what could he possibly be going on about? unprompted, your mind flashed back to that night, the moment where you were heading off to the bathroom, meeting kenma’s eyes for a second when you did.

oh.

was that what he was feeling so horribly about? that he saw you go into the bathroom? that was hardly news and nothing to be up in arms about unless he also saw meiko go in after you and...

double oh.

suddenly, all his behavior started making sense. kenma felt guilty because he believed he was somehow responsible for allowing this horrible thing to happen to you.

oh, honey, you signed quickly, driven to get your point across without him interrupting. you didn’t do this to me. meiko did.

kenma opened his mouth to protest but you didn’t let him, one of your hands coming up to cover his lips. he let out a muffled protest, his breath hot against your palm, eyes wide in bewilderment.

“listen to me kenma. you are not at fault here,” your voice screamed at you to stop speaking but not yet, not until you were done. “i know for a fact that if you knew what meiko was going to do, you wouldn’t have let me go.... you are good kenma, so good.”

his whole body shuddered at your words, all but collapsing into you, his arms wrapping around your waist and holding you tightly.

if you faintly felt the shoulder of your hospital getting damp, you didn’t say anything, content to let him hold onto you and cry it out.

after a minute or two, he sniffled and pulled away from you, his face red and puffy but content. “you shouldn’t have talked idiot,” kenma chided gently, a soft smile on his face.

you just gave him an apologetic shrug and a hastily signed “sorry” before waving him off to your hospital room, sending him a smile as he meandered off in that direction. you didn’t follow, figuring he and the boys needed some time alone to reconnect without your presence there.

taking a hold of your iv pole again, you continued on your way while staring out the window, watching the tiny birds fly by. unfortunately, your little birdwatching stint sent you careening into a hard body, your feet losing their grip on the slippery ground as you stumbled to the floor.

a quick glance up at the perpetrator had your apology dying in your throat. it was osamu, looking every bit as bewildered as you expected him to, a small jello cup in one hand and a spork in the other.

you couldn’t keep your scowl from off your face as you waved away his helpful arm, completely missing the flash of hurt that appeared across his smooth skin. “please, let me help ya,” he tried again, this time earning a physical slap on the arm, visibly recoiling at the contact.

“leave me the fuck alone osamu,” you growled before picking yourself back up and starting to stroll away but you quickly stopped in your tracks, turning your head to give him a menacing grin. “if you fuck with atsumu again, i swear on bokuto jr, i will castrate you and feed you your sorry, wrinkly ballsack on a silver platter.”

with that you were gone, head held high and a wide grin on your face as osamu watched, his heart flipping annoyingly in endearment. he breathed a deep sigh and slid to the floor of the hall before popping open his jello and taking a bite.

your reaction was well deserved but he couldn’t help praying and hoping that things would change between the two of you.

change for the better. change for good.

℗ poker face

change for the better

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - GOLLY GEE THIS WAS A LONG ONE BHT KENMA!!!!!! and samu >:( anYWAYS SLEEP IS CALLING MY NAME, LEMME KNOW WHAT U THINK <3333 don’t forget to feed me :3 also pls kenma’s secret not so secret praise thing :00

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