#i think doozy pretty much touched on this in her big post but I wanted to emphasize

[pinkeoni]

Another big issue with the whole gnc Will debate is that people seem to attribute body type to gender expression, when that kind of thing can be hard to control ESPECIALLY with young actors going through puberty.

it is possible for will to be taller, have fuller arms and a deeper voice and STILL be his sweet, sensitive and delicate self, and it's also possible for Mike to be lanky and still be a brave leader.

[fangirling-heart]

returning the favor! Also with arcane questions cause I’m cool liek that

Show- Arcane

3, 6 (a doozy of a question when it comes to arcane lmao) 9, 15

Ship - Caitvi also

2,9,12,14

Character - hmm. Caitlyn.

1,8,10,13

Hello there and thanks for the ask! A giant ask might I add (not that I'm complaining). *cracks knuckles* let's do this!

Arcane:

3....which scene I would like to erase from the universe and why.

Probably the scene of Jayce and Mel having sex. I don't know it's the only one I can think of (probably because I'm sex repulsed and wasn't too invested in their relationship)

6. which is my favorite platonic or familial relationship in this world.

Oof.... real hard I know! I gotta say it's...

Vi and Jinx/Powder

Le gasp! 🫨 Big shock, huh?

It's true though, their relationship started so sweet and wholesome and then turned into one of the most tragic and angsty ones I've ever seen just.... Ughhh!!! I'm a sucker for tragic siblings!!!

9. which characters I think should have interacted more in canon.

Jinx/Powder and Ekko. Those two were supposed to be best friends back when they were kids and it's a pity that all we got from this was some glimpses in a music video, some jabs as teens/young adults and a flashback-esque scene. I think it would also make their fight scenes hit harder.

15. which character I would choose for the chopping block if I knew the writers wanted to kill someone.

Singed perhaps. Mainly because I don't want more death near my faves! Though I know that that's probably a long shot, especially after that post of Ella Purnell...

Caitvi:

2. why I do or don't ship them.

I just love their chemistry so much! Their whole dynamic is really great. It looks like they are so different and like it wouldn't/shouldn't work but still it does, because of their differences and because at their core they're both so similar.

I honestly don't know ifni can explain it any better. I just think they're really neat!

9. what my ideal endgame for them is.

Pretty much the same as yours. They end up being happily in a relationship, after solving the whole situation with Jinx and while working through their traumas.

12. about three of the scenes that make me have feelings and (if available) find the gifs that underline my points.

Scene 1. "You're hot, cupcake." I don't think this one needs an explanation.

Scene 2. Caitlyn caring for Vi after Sevika stabs her. This type of scenes is always a win for me in whatever kind of relationship and the tenderness Caitlyn show to Vi at this moment, while Vi is so adamant about refusing it, but ultimately accepts it... God I love it!

This part especially!!!

Scene 3. That scene of them in Caitlyn's bedroom. Them lying together, the softness of their voices, Vi being vulnerable with Cait, talking to her about a happy memory and about her guilt and Cait offering nothing but gentleness...

I mean look at the way she's touching her! And how Vi looks at her!!!

14. which tropes I think describe them the best.

Class divide, definitely, and opposites attract. Also, I think princess and knight suits them really well.

Caitlyn:

1). why I love them, like them or hate them.

Caitlyn is to me one of the most genuine characters in Arcane, especially when you compare her to the rest of the people in Piltover. Her honesty and humility and kindness really set her apart from nearly everyone surrounding her, along with her willingness to do stuff on her own instead of having someone else do it for her. As she states herself, she is a misfit and I love her for that!

8. a headcanon I have about this character.

Since that shooting competition and her talk with Sheriff Grayson, Caitlyn started idolizing her. Grayson maybe even took her under her wing for a while (I'm saying maybe because we don't know exactly when that competition took place).

10. if I liked them immediately or if took a while before I warmed up to their character. Alternatively, if I disliked them immediately or if they lost my trust as their story progressed.

I kinda liked her from the beginning. I thought she was adorable as a kid (massive props to her voice actress). But she elevated to favorite status as the story was progressing. When we first met her as a child I thought she would be kind of like a side character and that we wouldn't be seeing much of her, and boy am I glad I was proven wrong!

13. how I'd do it if they had to be written out of the story.

From what I understand, this means how I would change the story if I had to remove Caitlyn.

Hmmm... pretty tough. Story-wise, Caitlyn is really important. She breaks Vi out of prison, she has connections to the council, thus being able to actually remind them that the people of the Undercity exists, because we know they wouldn't on their own...

In that case, I think a change I would make, would be Vi breaking out of Stillwater herself after hearing Silco's goon complain about this blue-haired girl with the bombs and realizes that's her sister. She kicks his ass like in canon, basically starting a riot, and into the chaos she fights her way out. She almost escapes, but she is stopped bybthe guy in the entrance. She puts up a fight again, but since she knows she can't fight anymore, she pretends to get beaten to death so they dump her body in the water. When they do, she swims to the other side and voila, Vi is back.

Now the rest for a good part goes as in canon. Vi returns to the lanes, she gets her jacket and her food, she goes to the brothel for info, confronts Sevika and when she gets stabbed, instead of Caitlyn, Ekko's the one who saves her. He saw her entering the Undercity after her escape and followed her. He brings her to his hideout, with the rest of the firelights, they tend to her wound and he fills her in on what happened during her absence. Vi of course doesn't really accept that her sister has changed and insists she can help her.

Meanwhile, like in canon Sevika tells Jinx about Vi being back, as a chance to get rid of her. Jinx goes out and the iconic flare scene takes place.

At the same time, after Ekko and some of the fireflies leave, Vi sneaks out and follows them, but then sees the smoke and goes up to find her sister.

The two reunite, but then Ekko and the others show up, a fight breaks out and Vi tries to get them all to stop, even yelling "Powder, that's Ekko!" And her responding "Yeah, no shit!" or something like that. Vi gets knocked down again, either by accident, by trying to get Jinx to stop shooting , which ends with her slamming her machine gun on her face (similarly like how she did with Caitlyn) and that makes her freeze for a moment like "Holy shit I hurt Vi!". The firelights take advantage of this, overpower her and take both her and Vi back in their hideout.

That's all I could think of so far. Come to think of it, I think it would be a good idea for a fanfic!

[safertokiss]

Lost in Translation

A/N: Heyyyyy guys...remember when I used to post like every two weeks? Yeesh that’s awkward...but I’m backkkkk woooooooo party time! I was so excited that my discord buddies organized another fic swap because it was so much fun the first time. This time around I was chosen to write a doozy for the wonderful @writing-in-april and I have decided to bless you all with a beautiful subby boy. Sub Spencer lives in my head rent free, no cap. So sit back, relax and pretend it's you getting fricken railed. Peace out girl scouts;)

Pairing: SPENCER x READER

Category: SMUT hehe oh yeah and fluff

Word Count: 4.8k

ENJOY:)

~~~

MASTERLIST

~~~

For as long as she could remember, Y/n had always wanted to learn Russian.

So, naturally, when she found out that their newest case involved two lovers who also happened to be Russian criminals trying to escape the United States government, she simply couldn’t help but jump at the opportunity to become more involved in the investigation. 

It’s not that she’d never been on a stakeout for the Bureau before, in fact she’d probably been on so many at this point that she’d lost count. The only difference that this specific stakeout brought to her life was the fact that it was her first one to have ever been shared with Spencer Reid.

Her and the young doctor had lived in the same apartment building since her first day at the BAU, but their relationship pretty much began and ended at that. Of course they greeted each other whenever they passed in the halls of their building and ricocheted off of each other’s theories whenever necessary during their meetings in the round table room, but it would be a lie to label their relationship as anything other than casual acquaintances as well as amicable coworkers. 

She had never been able to fully get a grasp on the elusive Dr. Reid. The fact that he was already such an integral member of the F.B.I. at the ripe age of 25 astounded and, well to be honest, perplexed her. Not that she doubted his abilities or intelligence in any way, quite the opposite really. She admired how utterly brilliant he proved to be day in and day out, even with the shy exterior he presented himself with to the world. Well, shy was definitely more of an understatement. 

She had never met someone more socially awkward in her entire life, but with that being said, she couldn’t help but find it endearing and pretty dang adorable. Y/n constantly found herself enjoying his pathetic attempts at human interaction on a daily basis. From the nervous stutters to the out of this world hand gestures, there was much for her to dissect about the young doctor. And while she could openly admit that he was quite easy on the eyes, in a boyish-innocent kind of way, she had never really been able to see him in that sort of light.

If she thought his normal social interaction skills were entertaining to witness, his reactions to any of the conversations that took a more raunchy turn were to die for. The speed at which his features would ripen red like a tomato whenever anything of a sexual nature was brought up during cases was truly amazing, impressive even. However, unlike the rest of their team, she knew he wasn’t completely innocent. The walls in their apartment were as good as paper when it came to thickness, so it wasn’t that big surprise that the sounds created within them carried fairly well. 

Or at least that was what she had discovered after the first night she heard him touching himself just through her bedroom wall. 

Yes, it was less than ideal that their bedroom walls just happened to be adjacent to each other, but what could she do about it? It wasn’t as though she never sought out her own pleasure while alone in her apartment...although she would bet money that she was much better at withholding her noises. Instead, she learned to adapt to the sounds from next door and continue on with her life, having accepted that guys will in fact be dudes, no matter how innocent and meek they may appear.

When her boss had explained the nature of the assignment to them, there wasn’t anything of significance that had jumped out at her. It was all pretty standard instruction. They would wait, parked, in a government issued SUV overnight at a location close to the whereabouts of the criminals and simply translate their conversations using the mics that were planted prior. While Hotch knew that Y/n herself couldn’t understand Russian, it was common knowledge that the resident genius easily could transcribe the language.

And that was how she found herself cramped next to Spencer Reid in the stagnant vehicle, pen and paper in hand, patiently waiting for the translations to begin. 

It was almost completely silent inside the car, apart from the quiet whirring of the heat coming through the vents, and she could basically feel the nerves coming off of the man next to her in waves. That’s why she was completely thrown off her game when his timid voice was the first to break through the silence that had encompassed the space they inhabited together.

“So um Y/n..h-how have you been recently?”

She did her best to hide the small smirk that started to form on her face from the stuttering mess that spilled out of his mouth. She definitely didn’t want to make him feel even worse about himself so she decided to humour his adorable attempt at conversation with her...well...sort of.

“Oh ya know Reid, just counting the days until I get some action. How about you?” If she  thought he was sputtering nervously before, that was nothing compared to this treasure.

“Oh um well uh I-I mean...I don-I don’t...uh...w-what was the question a-again?”

This time she couldn’t stop the airy chuckle that escaped her lips as she leaned over and patted him gently on his thigh.

“Relax Reid, I’m just fucking around with you. Well for the most part...I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to some action, but that’s a whole can of worms I am not about to open during a stakeout”, Y/n laughed, not at all missing the steadily spreading blush that coated his sharp features.

“Yeah...no..yeah right of course...I t-totally knew you were just um fu-messing with me! Uh we should probably um r-review our assignment...you know just so we’re all s-set before we start.” How adorable.

“Aye-aye captain Reid. Ok so..”, she muttered while fiddling with the listening device to secure the right frequency. “...we just have to wait until they get back so we’re in range of their conversations. That’s when you’ll have your time to shine and prove yourself as the resident genius once again. And I’m sure that you’re aware that I don’t know a lick of the Russian language so I will be the best damn transcriber for you that the world has ever seen”, she finished with a smirk. 

Even Reid chuckled a bit at her words, the ever-present blush slowly creeping back upon his face and neck. 

“I’ll uh-I’ll hold you to that then.” Y/n had to admit she particularly liked to see the boy smiling, especially when it was the result of her own words. His innocence seemed to call out to her like a siren and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

“Oh-oh there they are! Ok get the pen and paper ready because as soon as they’re in range I’ll start translating.”

Getting themselves situated, they waited the few seconds it took for the couple to get close enough to the vicinity of the SUV for their conversations to begin to be broadcasted through their system.

“Как вы думаете, они идут по нашему следу?”

“Do you think they’re on our trail?”, Spencer easily understands, leaning slightly closer to her so his words were clearly heard.

“Ни за что. У этих глупых американцев нет шансов поймать нас.”

“No way. Those stupid Americans don’t stand a chance at catching us.”

At this point, the couple had already disappeared behind the door at the entrance of their current base, leaving only their words to give the closely listening agents much needed context clues.

“Я когда-нибудь говорил тебе, как сильно мне нравится твоя уверенность?”

“Have I ever told you how much I love your confidence?” 

Even Spencer let himself smile at the chuckle that left Y/n’s lips. “Awww how cute...they’re flirting with each other over mass murder. I strive for that kind of intimacy.”

“Да у тебя есть. Но почему бы тебе не показать мне, насколько тебе это нравится.”

“Yes, you have. But why don’t you show me just how much you love it.”

Uh oh, Y/n thought to herself. Not a second after the untimely thought permeated her brain, the sounds of wet lips sloppily colliding against each other filled the otherwise silent vehicle. After the few seconds of shock wore off, their heads whipped to face each other, eyes wide and mouths wide open. “Huh...well this was certainly an unexpected turn.”

“I uh um-uh well w-what do we do now?”, Tomato Boy nervously sputtered out over the chorus of moans and groans that were currently bouncing off the SUV’s walls. As unexpected as the present situation was, she was absolutely eating up his reaction to the crude sounds.

“Well, Hotch did say he wanted us to take down every single word that was shared between them so...I guess we’re just gonna have to keep moving forward with the translations. You can do that, can’t you Reid?”, she explained, not even attempting to hide the growing smirk on her face.

“Yeah! Yes! Mhmm I can do that, I c-can definitely do t-that.”, he gushed, trying to subtly clear his throat to clear the steadily growing tension in his body.

“Good to hear, Doc.”, she cheekily replied just as the raunchy sounds echoing through the system transitioned to different methods of communication, more legible ones.

“Ты была для меня такой хорошей девочкой. Я думаю, ты заслуживаешь награды.”

Quickly clearing his throat once more, he jumped back into action, with what Y/n noticed was considerably less confidence than before. “You’ve b-been such a good g-girl for me. I think you deserve a r-reward.” Spencer’s voice had noticeably dropped to a whisper by the end of the sentence, forcing Y/n to lean closer to be able to hear his translations, only magnifying the already present tension in the air. 

“Пожалуйста, папа, я сделаю что угодно.”

“P-please daddy.” His voice broke at the end igniting something deep inside Y/n’s being. “I’ll do anything.” In that moment she truly believed he would do anything, his own words or not, based on the obvious strain in his pants that her eyes glanced over, and also by the way his skin completely succumbed to goosebumps as her warm breath caressed the shell of his ear. She didn’t really know what the hell was happening, why her body was absolutely loving the way he gradually leaned into her’s, submitting all of his vulnerabilities into her hands. 

“Тебе это нравится, не так ли, маленькая шлюшка. Как член папы глубоко внутри тебя?”

She watched the way he inhaled a deep breath and released a high-pitched sigh before continuing on, subtly pressing her legs together to control the excitement thrumming through her body at his pathetic tone and mannerisms. 

“You like t-that don’t you, you little-uh-you little s-slut?” From their close proximity, she could clearly make out the speedy heartbeat clambering against his chest as he spoke. And if that was the case, he must’ve been able to feel hers as well. “Like daddy’s c-cock deep inside of y-you?” She could’ve sworn she saw his dick twitch slightly in his pants.

“Маленькая шлюшка уже придет за мной? Тогда умоляйте об этом. Бля, умоляю позволить тебе кончить.”

Y/n certainly did not miss the airy sigh that escaped his lips, watching as a bead of sweat dripped down his temple, confidently guessing it was not from the heat that had been coming through the vents.

“Is the little-little s-slut gonna come for me already? B-beg for it then. Fucking beg f-for me to let you c-come.” Spencer was speedily falling apart at the seams and she was loving it. More than loving it. She was craving it. Craving the little noises that he was trying to stop from escaping his lips. Craving the way he slightly bounced his leg in an attempt to control his arousal, which was futile because it had obviously already reached its full potential in the confines of his khaki slacks. 

“Пожалуйста, папа. Пожалуйста, позволь мне прийти. Мне это надо. Пожалуйста.”

Without even hearing the words translated back to her, she could hear the utter desperation in the girl’s voice. She no longer needed to understand the Russian language to be able to finish the translation, and as she sat there with her thighs tightly pressed together, she knew exactly what it meant.

“Please!” The utter need that was present in the original audio was somehow mirrored perfectly by the young doctor’s breathy voice, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, a prominent vein popping through the skin of his smooth forehead. “Please, p-please, please let me come. I n-need it. Please!”

“Приди за мной, детка.”

Deciding that she could regret her actions in the morning, Y/n quickly grabbed his face before he could translate, angling his head so she could whisper directly into his ear at the same time he spoke the last line of the night.

“Come for me baby.”, they both spoke at the exact same time.

Pulling away as fast as possible, she watched his clamped eyes shoot open as the most obnoxiously loud moan she had ever heard escaped the poor kid, his whole body spasming as a result. And using the large stain on the crotch of his pants as a guide, she was pretty certain she knew what had happened.

For the next few minutes there was silence in the SUV, apart from Spencer’s heavy breathing as he came down of course, leading them to believe the couple had fallen asleep after their...activities. Of course she wanted nothing more than to tease the trembling mess next to her, but she could already tell he was mortified beyond belief because of what happened so she didn’t want to make it any worse for him than it already was. 

After waiting a few extra minutes just to make sure that they had actually gone to sleep, the pair drove away from the stakeout location, Spencer not having said a word since his...big finish. As much as she loved watching him fall apart in front of her, she really didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable around her. 

“Well that was certainly an unexpected turn of events for the night, huh?”, she said, lightly chuckling with the intent of lightening his mood. She was very glad to see it had the intended effect.

“Uh y-yeah...you could definitely say that again.”, he mumbled with the ghost of a smile on his plump lips, though she could still clearly make out the blush coating his features.

“So hey, I know that you usually take the metro, but I’d be more than happy to give you a ride home after we drop the SUV off at the office if you want.”, she warmly smiled in his direction without taking her eyes completely off the road.

“Oh um..yeah that would be perfect. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it Reid.”

~~~

The rest of the ride back to the office was pretty much spent in silence, but it was much more comfortable than it had been before, which was a huge relief. After dropping the keys to the SUV in the lock box inside, the two agents piled into Y/n’s car to go back home to their shared building. On their way back she considered just asking him if he wanted to ride with her everyday just to make his life a little easier in the long run.

Once they got to the parking lot and exited the vehicle, they began walking towards the entrance together, the awkward tension from before creeping back into the air around them. Soon enough, they found themselves standing in front of their respective doors, both unsure of how they were supposed to end the night’s interactions. After a few moments of painful silence and eye contact, Y/n was the first one to rip off the band-aid.

“So...I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Reid?” He seemed to be broken out of his trance by the sound of her voice, snapping back to attention.

“Huh? Oh yeah uh yes of course. S-see you tomorrow Y/n. Goodnight.” He scampered into his apartment before she could even get a chance to respond to his bidding.

“Goodnight.”, she whispered to no one other than herself as she unlocked her door and headed inside to shower quickly before diving into her soft sheets.

She was sitting up in her bed, book in hand, with only the small glow of her reading lamp illuminating her room when she heard it. Of course she knew immediately what they were, a talent that had developed and strengthened from living adjacent to a pretty much pubescent boy.

The tell-tale sound of moans and groans vibrating right through her wall.

She knew she probably shouldn’t be listening, something about a violation of privacy or whatever, but she just couldn’t help it. He sounded so desperate it was driving her insane. So much in fact that she was in the process of skimming her own hand downwards when she was interrupted by a certain something from the Doc’s room.

“Y/n! Oh god, please. Please.”

Oh. Oh.

Not even giving herself a second to consider her actions, she was up on her feet basically sprinting to his door, pajamas and all. Not even bothering with knocking, she noticed it was unlocked and let herself in, beelining for what she assumed was his bedroom by the increasing volume as she approached it. Standing in his doorframe, she was utterly mesmerized. There he was, sprawled across his sheets, completely bare with sweat coating his hair as he rapidly pumped his angry, red cock, her name tumbling from his lips like a chant.

“You’re so beautiful like this.” She smirked as she watched his head shoot up to where she was standing, his hand immediately stilling it’s rapid movements. Watching the panic spread on his face was intoxicating to her as she slowly approached his bed.

“Y/n! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I uh-I didn’t um...” His words trailed off and his eyes widened as he watched her slowly begin removing her clothes as she moved closer to him. 

“Shhhhhh.” She managed to remove both her shirt and pajama pants in the short trip over to his bed and she had no intention of stopping there. Now standing directly in front of him, she let her eyes wander over his still frame completely, soaking in the amazement in his dark eyes and the slight tremble that was periodically rippling through his body. Maintaining eye contact with him the whole time, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting it pool on the floor next to her.

It was honestly shocking his eyes didn’t actually fall onto the floor with how far they bulged out of their sockets, a small moan leaving his mouth. 

She giggled at his enthusiasm before bringing her soft hands up to caress his face gently, his body shuddering at the contact. “Do you want me to keep going baby boy?” Taking a second to process the question that had left her lips, he slowly nodded while looking her in the eyes, his own full of awe. 

Happy with his answer, she reached for the edge of her panties before pushing them down to join the other pieces of clothing already inhabiting his floor. Spencer couldn’t speak. He could barely even breathe. Five minutes ago he had been jerking off to his neighbor, who also happened to be his coworker, and now said neighbor was crawling onto his bed, completely naked, with a wicked smirk on her face.

Straddling his lap, but making sure that there was no actual contact, she reached up to cup his face again, slowly rubbing circles into his defined cheekbone. “Is this ok baby boy? Is this what you want?”, she cooed. 

Spencer looked like he honestly might cry from the pure compassion laced within her words, but still found a way to nervously nod his head in affirmation of her questions. With a warm smile on her face, she leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss on his lower jaw before continuing up the side of his face, basking in the small whimpers that fell from his pretty lips. Finally reaching his ear, she let her warm breath tease him before proceeding. 

“Do you want me to take control of you? Is that what you want sweet boy?” While the whine that immediately escaped him was answer enough, she pulled back searching for a more concrete answer to her question. “Hmmmm, you’d like that?” 

“Yes.”, he whispered, nodding his head anxiously. 

While he was answering she had leaned back towards his face, placing soft kisses all over. “As you wish baby boy.”, she whispered, changing course to attack his neck with her eager lips as soon the words left her mouth. Spencer gasped instantly and she couldn’t help but smirk against his pale flesh, increasing the pressure in which she was assaulting his neck.

Through the groans that spilled past his lips, she was able to make out his pathetic attempt at words, not slowing down her lips at all. “J-just make sure not to leave any m-marks. We’ll g-get in trouble at w-work.” Of course Spencer would be the only person on the planet to remember their office guidelines while getting his neck sucked like a vampire.

“No marks...that’ll be difficult. I want everyone to know just how thoroughly I fucked you.”

Feeling extremely satisfied by his enthusiastic response to her vulgar words, she slowly lowered herself down his body, pausing with her mouth right above his groin. Somehow the poor kid already looked completely fucked out and she hadn’t even done anything yet. Hearing him wince as she gently grasped and started stroking his cock, she knew this was gonna be fun.

Staring directly into her eyes, he watched the string of spit leave her mouth and drip directly onto his dick, eyes bulging at her bold actions, still in shock that any of this was actually happening. 

Entranced by the way his chest expanded rapidly as he watched her curiously, she leaned forward and licked the tip, his head falling back onto the pillow behind him. “I’m gonna suck your cock...but only because I want to see if you can not be a spaz about getting head from me.” Her words made Spencer whimper and she smirked as she took him fully into her mouth, soaking in his pretty noises. 

Y/n had only been going for a minute or two when she heard his groans get louder and felt him twitch in her mouth. Pulling off of him with a pop, she hummed at the sight of the completely wrecked boy in front of her, panting and shaking adorably. It wasn’t long before the perfect idea infiltrated her head, her body thrumming with anticipation and excitement.

“You’ve been such a good boy for me. I think you deserve a reward.”, she smirked, reciting the words that they had heard verbatim. Seemingly catching on to what she was pushing for, he responded accordingly.

“Please Y/n. I’ll do anything.”

She quirked her eyebrow in his direction questioningly, slowly grinding her dripping core against his achingly hard cock. “Anything, baby boy?”

Snapping his heated stare directly to her eyes, he cracked a beautiful smile. “Anything.”

She couldn’t control the grin that overtook her lips as she lowered herself down onto his erection, writhing in pleasure at the feel of him inside of her and the sound of his wanton moans. “Good boy.” 

Wanting to give Spencer time to fully adjust and control himself, she started her movements out slow, lifting herself up until only his tip remained inside before dropping down completely into his lap repeatedly. He was a moaning mess on the sheets below her, sweat coating his body along with goosebumps covering every visible expanse of his skin as he panted like a dog. He was so fucking pretty like this. 

Deciding enough was enough, she picked up the pace considerably, bouncing like a mad woman on his dick, while her sharp nails scratched down his creamy, pale chest in front of her, leaving angry, red streaks in their wake. Spencer had devolved into a blubbering mess underneath her and that lit her soul on fire.

“You like that don’t you, you little slut? Like your cock deep inside of me? Huh?” 

Y/n was pretty sure that he was short circuiting below her, his brain cutting off all control over his body as he spasmed uncontrollably and moaned for the entire fucking building to hear. Good, she thought. Let them hear how whipped he was for her. Even though it had only been a few minutes since she increased her speed, she could feel his cock starting to twitch violently inside of her and she knew he was close, really close.

“Is the little slut gonna come for me already?” All he could do was whimper in response, having to nod his head emphatically due to his loss of speech.

“Beg for it then. Fucking beg for me to let you come!” She was on fucking cloud nine right now, floating through the motions, as his whimpers increased in volume and speed. Mustering up all the strength he could, he spit out as many audible words as possible.

“Please! Please, please, please let me come! I need it! Please!” He was crying now, tears rapidly pouring from his eyes and spilling down his cheeks out of sheer desperation and need to release the tension built up within his body.

She was in awe of him. As she watched the tears pour down his face, she couldn’t help but whimper too. Desperately needing to finish, herself, she brought one hand down to make circles around her clit, while the other she brought up to wrap gently around his flushed throat, leaning over to whisper in his ear like she had earlier that night.

“Come for me, baby.”

She once again pulled back to witness his reactions to her hushed words, the outcome only more amazing than before. She watched as his eyes rolled back as far they could possibly go into his head as his mouth dropped open in pure ecstasy, high-pitched whines escaping his lips, his release shooting up into her like it had always belonged there. Maybe it had.

Watching him come undone below her, combined with her hand speedily rubbing circles on her clit, she was catapulted into the most amazing climax of her entire life, her body buzzing with excitement as she tightened around him and collapsed on his chest, weak as could be after that activity.

The pair laid silently, apart from the heaving breaths whirring through the room, still in shock over what had just transpired minutes before. Slowly shifting her eyes to the shivering boy below her, she saw he was caught in a trance, his eyes dazed, a soft grin on his lips. 

Breaking him from his stupor, she gently cupped his cheek with one hand as the other drew lazy circles on his blotchy chest. Rubbing the skin on his face lightly, she leaned forward and kissed his nose, making him scrunch it up and giggle as a result. “Such a sweet boy for me. Such a sweet, sweet boy.” Her words made him melt inside and words tumbled out of his own mouth before he could even think about stopping them.

“Вы красивы внутри и снаружи.”

She looked up at him in shock, before breaking out in giggles. “Did you just serenade me in Russian? How romantic.”, she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

He couldn’t seem to control his giggles either, a fact that warmed her heart. “Yes, I suppose I did.”

Smiling up at the adorable boy she just had to ask. “What does it mean?”

Y/n watched as his signature blush quickly coated his features once again as he looked down at her with a shy smile. “You are beautiful, inside and out.”

With the warmest grin she could muster, she leaned up and kissed his jaw once more before snuggling up against the young doctor who had melted her heart.

Tag List: @hopebaker @pastathighs @psychedellic-phase @gloryekaterina @sleepysnapesnake @racharr @etherealgubler @furiouspartyrebelhoagie @andiebeaword @liaabsurd @cielo1984 @starkeybaby @victomizedbyreginageorge @rainsong01 @moonlight-jukebox @gretaamyk @httpnxtt @rachelxwayne @goldnratio @cheyxminds @kricketc29 @cupcake525 @pinkdiamond1016 @slutforthegubes @shadyladyperfection @emilysallysmith @babblingbrookex @legendaryanimeaestheticclou @sunstspidey @ashwarren32 @pixels-impulse @eviewildflower @spencerreider @awkwardsadaa @dirty-pan-goblin @spencerspecifics

[prinxlyart]

I will say, I am hungry again and I have a few ask for your Willumity/Vinira headcannons. HOWEVER to be fair to you. This time I will restrain myself and simply ask for you to share any headcanons you want to share as of now!

You can ALWAYS ask for more Willumity.

A L W A Y S

But!! Since you’ve given me free reign to just play in this sandbox, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do

We all agree that Luz is hella ADHD. This girl will talk for HOURS about the shit she likes. If something grabs her attention, she wants to know everything about it. She doesn’t like being told to do things, but she loves being asked to do things. For example: if someone tells her she needs to do a thing her brain will immediately click into the “No” position and will refuse to budge. If someone asks her to do something, her brain clicks to “help? I can help? I can help with a thing for this person? Yes! I’ll help this person with this task because it will make them happy! Yes! I can help!” This is why acts of service resonate so strongly with her.

I don’t know what mental diversity looks like on the Boiling Isles considering how just. Horror-based everything is? But I’m 100% on that autistic Amity train. She has to do things a Certain Way or she’ll teeter on the edge of a meltdown. She refuses to touch/eat certain textures. She usually doesn’t know what the appropriate response/reaction is to a given conversation, especially with her socialite friends, which is why she just remains a cool mask of indifference. She’ll inspect every detail of anything that’s handed to her. She’s incredibly smart, but doesn’t always know how to convey what she knows and understands into words other people can understand. The only people allowed in her personal space are her siblings. Eventually that also stems to Luz and Willow, maybe more as she grows more comfortable with herself? But usually anyone getting in her space is overwhelming and alarming. Defo has a hard time regulating/processing her emotions.

I need to make an entire post dedicated to Augustus Porter because my boy deserves it, but I’ll toss some random things here. He has a signed poster from the head of the Illusionist Coven framed on his bedroom wall. He and his dad have bi-weekly after-dinner standup comedy sessions with each other (Perry has kept a secret journal of all of Gus’s best jokes he’s done over the years that he reads whenever he needs a pick-me-up).

Perry and Eda knew each other in school in passing. Their social circles overlapped but they were never hanging out in the same groups. When Gus is very little (like, maybe 3 or 4?), Perry takes him to the market to just wander around and they find Eda’s Human Collectibles Stand. She and Perry catch up, he introduces her to his son, and Eda (ever the saleswoman) pulls out some shiny human thing that Gus is immediately taken with. In between her and Perry catching up, Gus asks her a million questions about the thing he’s been given and then even more questions about other stuff at her stand. She actually finds it really fun to show off her human shit to someone so enthralled by it. She makes some stuff up here and there just to mess with him, but he’s too young to realize it’s a joke or not true, and takes everything at face value. We all know Eda likes to get a little theatrical with her sales pitches; she does the Salesperson act with everything Gus asks her about. She lets Gus take a couple items home just because he was such a riot and Perry insists he pay for something, but Eda just waves them off and tells him that this is just an investment in a lifelong customer. She had no idea how right she was because Gus defo became obsessed with human culture from that point on. He also picked up on Eda’s super theatrical sales pitches (because he thought it was funny and because he thought that’s just how you’re supposed to show human stuff to people) and began showing off his own “human collectibles museum” to his dad with the same theatrical voice. Perry plays along with this too (as a news anchor he’s got a great announcer voice) and ta-da! That’s how we get the boy we all know and love today. It’s 100% Eda’s fault, but Perry definitely encouraged it because it made his son so happy. That’s also why Gus doesn’t seem especially perturbed at meeting Eda for the first time in ep 3. Or for interjecting his new Human Knowledge in the moment she was patting Luz’s head. He’s used to having conversations with her about human junk whenever she has her stand up. Eda’s secretly relieved that one of Luz’s new friends is actually someone she kinda knows. It’s Perry’s kid, and Perry’s a good guy. His little squirt seems to be growing up to be pretty good too.

Eda scoffs at “nerdy” shit as if she hasn’t owned the Clawthorne Braincell her entire life. “She worked twice as hard” “-that just made me work harder than you!”. Eda’s extremely smart and extremely talented. She likely created the secret room of shortcuts entirely on her own. She probably studied in the school library constantly, but under the guise of causing mischief. And like. She probably did both. She was a potions track kid so she probably knew all the best ways to make stink bombs that she could leave hidden in the shelves. She hated school because she was so limited and stifled; she only wanted to learn magic and was told no at every turn. So when she learned magic on her own, yknow, without the guidance of a teacher, there’s bound to be some major fuck ups. Once she’s fine-tuned her mistakes though, she absolutely turns them into pranks. You say I’m not allowed to study multiple tracks, bumpikins?? Well how’s THIS!!! How’s THAT for focus??? (Half of her pranks were also just her showing off and desperately hoping to prove that she could learn any type of magic and couldn’t be constrained to just the one. Bump recognized this of course, but he had strict guidelines to follow and no Luz Noceda to call him out for it.)

Camila treasures her daughter more than life itself. I personally refuse to headcanon anything to do with her extended family or why she’s a single parent (too many variables and options that could be addressed in the show), but I do know that she loves Luz more than anything. It’s exhausting being a single mom, working as a nurse, and trying to be there for her ADHD daughter when the rest of the world doesn’t seem to want her. It hurts her so much to see her baby, the light of her life, her Luz, be brushed aside and written off as “the weirdo”, or bullied, or even outright hated by some people just because she’s a little different. She’s had to have some words with the school staff for how they treat her on occasion. Did you see that Principal’s death glare in the first ep?? He hates her. Camila’s there not just because she’s Luz’s parent, but also to act as a barrier between the principal and Luz. She would move Heaven and Earth for Luz, but it can be a lot when you’re the only adult around. I truly believe she wanted Luz to go to that camp to learn how to be friends with kids that didn’t already know her or her quirks. Even she sounded unsure of what they would do at that camp, but she had full faith that this would be Luz’s opportunity to make friends with other kids that could teach her to like....more mainstream stuff. So she could learn how to mimic their (hopefully, toned down) behaviors. She just wants her baby to be accepted by others.

This next one’s a doozy so hold on to your butts

Lilith is technically smart. And I mean that in a literal sense - she can read and understand the fundamentals of magic, the concepts and execution of complex spells, recite entire chapters of Boiling Isles history, you name it. Many adults in her youth called her gifted because of it. All she actually did was absorb the information and regurgitate it when asked. She thrived on the praise she received. What made her different from her sister is that she never wanted anything more than to do as she was told. Her biggest goal? Her dream job? Was to just be given orders by the Emperor. I’m sure there’s all sorts of flowery propaganda surrounding that, advertising how incredible it is to be in the Emperor’s Coven, what an honor it is to work alongside the witch that can speak to the Titan. But it’s literally just. Taking orders. And knowing you’re somehow better than everyone else because you’ve been selected to be among the elite. She never strived for anything more; she never wanted to do anything else but enforce the Emperor’s will because that was “the highest honor” a witch could have. As a result (or in conjunction rather) she lacks literally any amount of foresight. There’s only one braincell in the Clawthorne Family and her sister has it because this dumbass doesn’t think about anyone but herself. Instead of talking with Eda about what they should do when they were told there was only one spot left in the Emperor’s Coven, she walked away. Only thinking of how she could secure her victory. She didn’t ask Eda how she felt about the situation, she didn’t let Eda speak her mind about what her own desires were; Eda made it clear enough that she just wanted to be by Lilith’s side, she didn’t care what that meant. She just wanted to be with her big sister. Eda tried to reach out to her to discuss their cirumstances, but Lilith just walked away like the broody, self-centered teenager that she was and resolved to cheat her way to victory. When Eda knew this was her dream. Why would she think Eda would take away her dream???? She could’ve asked Eda to throw the duel? She could’ve asked her to fake the match? Or even fake sick? Or just not even shown up! If she didn’t show up it could’ve counted as a forfeit and Lilith would’ve earned the spot by default! But no, she had to ruin her sister’s entire life in an act of cowardice and dishonor because she’s so full of herself and didn’t read the fine print. She loves her sister, of course she does, but she’s so self-absorbed that she’s never seen Eda for who she actually is and wasted both of their lives as a result. And this is all just analysis of her character and that flashback, this isn’t even headcanons. I think if she has any amount of respect for her sister (she doesn’t), her redemption will have to go far far beyond an apology and taking on half the curse. When I say Lilith is a dumbass, this is specifically what I mean. She doesn’t think about how her actions will affect those around her. She was the Head of the Emperor’s Coven, literally one of the most powerful positions she could possibly be in on the Boiling Isles and still sacrificed Amity’s dignity and years of hard work just so she could be ensured that she could one-up her sister. She did this in front of everyone in attendance of that Witches Duel. She risked Amity’s credibility as a witch, as a Blight, and as a person just to fuel her own ego. It’s no wonder Amity was so upset; the witch she’s been idolizing her whole life didn’t think she had what it took to best a human that couldn’t do magic in a witches duel. That can fuck up your self esteem something fierce. And Lilith hardly seemed to give a shit!!!! She didn’t care that she just trashed Amity’s reputation in front of dozens of spectators!!!! I’m v bitter about Lilith as a character in case you couldn’t tell.

If I had to throw a headcanon in, I’ll toss one in that sterling and I have discussed: Lilith literally doesn’t know how to live her life as an independent adult. Sure, she knows how to like. Make herself some easy dinners? But that’s literally only because she used to make herself and Eda dinners when they were kids. Beyond that, she has no fucking idea. She can do the basic household chores any teenager knows how to do, but she’s lived in the Emperor’s Castle with the rest of the Coven since she joined. It’s kind of like living in a college dorm; food and a room is provided, there’s maybe a laundry service, she’s never had to pay taxes in her life (not that Eda does, but yknow). The only things she buys for herself (if she doesn’t make it herself) is her hair dye and books. When she first moves in to the Owl House, she has no idea how the household chores are done. She’s on House Cleaning Duty Eternally and the first......I’ll say year. Eda will wake her up by banging pots and pans over her head once every month and scream-singing about how it’s House Cleaning Day, pull out her lawn chairs and some lemonade, and she and Luz (and sometimes King) will just sit back and relax and watch the show that is Lilith trying to clean Hooty. Hooty does not like to cooperate with her (partially because Lilith is a special friend and partially because he knows how much joy it brings Eda and Luz to watch her struggle).

Oof I could go on but this is already one hell of a post huh? Sorry (not really) for dragging Lilith so hard; not a joke, tumblr made me split hers up into two bullet points because it couldn’t comprehend my ranting for so long in one bullet point. I do love sharing these with y’all though, they’re so much fun and I’m so glad you guys like my rambling. <3333

[yupitsbambi]

Midsummer

Pairing: Mammon x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.5k (omg whoops my hand slipped)

Warnings: cursing probably, bad writing, I’m a big believer in Platonic Touching (with romantic undertones), a sonnet fic (???), came to me in a dream and probably reads like it, moron-sexual, 3rd person writing, requited pining, no beta we die like Lilith

Summary: Mammon and MC decide to go for a middle of the night adventure after being stuck inside for a couple days. MC reveals she’s a book nerd, Mammon says 3 little words for the first time, and two best friends are pining for each other but way to dumb to see it.

Okay, this is my first real fic I think I’ve ever posted and boy is it a doozy. I have a weird obsession with Shakespeare that stems from this one summer when I was stuck with nothing but Shakespeare plays to read and now it’s creeping it’s way into my fanfics. Okay wow what an intro no wonder I made it to 4k I can fucking yap. Let’s begin!

“Mammoney...?” He heard a soft break through the air of his room. They had been hanging out in his room, her hanging out on his bed and scrolling through her DDD while he sat squatted at the end of his bed, filing through a stack of Demon Vouchers he had swindled out of some succubi earlier. Something about pawning off Asmodeus’s favorite underwear to the highest bidder, but she couldn’t remember. She liked to keep it that way- plausible deniability, she had claimed.

“Ohhhh, no ya don’t.” Mammon called back, not bothering to look over his shoulder at the human snuggled up so comfortably in his bed. He knew that, unfortunately, it would probably make him blush, and he had been trying to avoid that as much as possible. He had no idea why looking at his human, his best friend (no more!), made him so damn flustered, but it was starting to get the best of him. “I know that voice.”

“What voice?” She replied innocently. He furrowed his brow.

“That sweet, sing-songy, ‘oh I couldn’t possibly have dark intentions’ voice!” He claimed, exasperated. He had tossed his arms in the air to make his point at one point, and several vouchers had gone flying, though he didn’t scramble to pick them up like she had expected. He lowered his arms into his lap and continued tossing the money onto the piles he had so meticulously laid out. “And when you call me Mammoney, I know you want something. The last time you called me Mammoney you wanted me to go down a dark alleyway cause you ‘dropped your wallet’ and then had Belphie jump out from behind a dumpster and scare me.” He risked a glance at her before focusing back on his stash. “I could’ve had a heart attack, ya’ know!”

“Demons can’t have heart attacks,” she countered, and he heard sheets shift behind him. Suddenly, she had wrapped both arms across his chest, chin resting on his shoulder. Fuck, he thought, now I’m definitely blushing. She scooted her legs around so they trapped his on the inside. “It was pretty funny though.” He ‘humphed’ at that, and she giggled. He knocked his head up against hers playfully, and flicked her knee for good measure.

“So what is it ya want?”

She hummed thoughtfully. After a moment she answered. “I’ve been stuck in this house for ages,” she lamented. Mammon laughed heartily.

“It’s been two days,” he countered. He could feel her glare at him, but he knew she didn’t mean it. She never glared at him for real.

“Two days is too long!” She poked him in his side, and he squirmed in her grasp before she deflated on his shoulder again. “Every time I wanna go out, one of you is busy. Beel had the German Cuisine Tasting festival, so he was preoccupied, and I haven’t even seen Satan since that new mystery novel by Amelia Crawford came in. Asmo had 3 back to back orgies, Belphegor let his phone die and hasn’t bothered to charge it, Levi’s had a raid mission he’s been on for like 76 hours, and don’t even get me started on Lucifer- if I asked him to escort me to the mall so I didn’t get devoured, he’d probably hang me up by my toes for wasting his time with a pathetic request.” She rested her forehead on his shoulder now and sighed into the space between her chest and his back. “So while you’ve been scheming, I’ve been suffering. Don’t you know it’s rude to torture your human so?”

“O’ please,” Mammon replied, “You’re about as tortured here as Marie Antoinette was in Versailles.” He chortled, “Ya’ poor thing! Did someone not put pearls in your champagne?” She smacked him lightly in the chest, but giggled nonetheless.

“Hey!” She pretended to be offended. “Well you’d at least think that with 7 chaperones one of you would be available. I could always go out on my own...” she dramatically raised one finger up in the air as if the thought has just occurred to her. “Oh wait! No I can’t, cause I apparently am about as tempting as a sirloin steak is to a stray dog.”

“Ya’ got that right,” he had resumed sorting his money into different piles. She wasn’t sure what each stack was for, but he was obviously pretty diligent about getting it done properly. She closed her eyes and waited patiently for him to finish. When the last voucher was sorted, he streatched his arms above him, rotating his neck to relieve some of the tension he hadn’t realized he was storing, and then pushed up onto his feet.

He turned toward her, hand outstretched, facing away. She blinked at him.

He shook it more insistently at her, then ran his hand through his fluffy white locks, exasperated. “Come on, ya’ dork. I don’t have all night to take measly humans on fantastical adventures.” He focused his gaze back on her, face breaking out in to a pearly white, shit-eating grin. “I am the GREAT Mammon, after all.”

She took it, grinning widely herself. For all the things he was (crazy, greedy, needy, annoying... she could list for probably hours, if prompted or bribed) Mammon never disappointed her.

————————

Mammon suggested the take one of the Houses cars instead of flying. They piled in through the Cadillac’s shiny black doors- him driving, of course. As they pulled out and onto the pitch black street, she reached over and cranked up the radio, smiling at each other as he began to tear ass down the highway.

“So, I suppose in all the excitement of getting to leave the house, I forgot to ask where exactly it is we’re going,” she called over the music. He waved her off flippantly.

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Not at all!” She replied giddily. He frowned at her.

“Fine, then.” He turned his attention back to the road. “It’s a suprise.”

“Not the gambling den again,” the girl groaned, remembering the last time Mammon had taken her to a ‘suprise’ location and then proceeded to almost let her get kidnapped in the back of a back alley gambling operation due to his fixation on the game of poker they had laid out in front of him. She knew he was mortified about that night (she was his responsibility after all) but she wanted to prepare herself in case she had to dodge and weave from groping hands like the last time.

“Ya’ gotta be kidding me!” The demon pinched the bridge of his nose. “Like I’d take you back there. We’re almost there, so stop yer pestering and get your coat on, ‘Kay?”

Attention drawing back to the outside, she noticed that the normal city lights that filled the Devildom were now replaced with tall, spiraling trees. She supposed she should follow his direction and shrugged on the light jacket she had decided to bring, though it was a warm summer night, and she didn’t figure she needed it.

The Cadillac pulled off onto the side of the road and stopped next to an indistinguishable part of forest. Just when she was about to chew Mammon out about this not being a parking spot, he threw open his door and came around the front to open hers and offer a hand. Her arguement got stuck in her throat and she gratefully accepted.

All the brothers were extraordinarily gentlemanly, frequently pulling out her chairs, opening doors for her, carrying her school bags or offering to walk arm and arm with her during a strut through a particularly dangerous area, and every time it would fluster her. Even after such a long time in the underworld, she still wasn’t used to how devilishly handsome and polite her demons were.

“This is the suprise?” She taunted.

“Shut up,” he replied.

They began to make their way through the dark, towering pines.

——————————————————————————

It only took about 5 minutes before Mammon decided that she was too slow and began to forage on ahead of her. He wasn’t going to leave her too far behind, but he wasn’t gonna let them take all goddamn night either, that’s for sure.

She could see his frosty white hair glinting in the occasional burst of light that shone through the trees, which served as her beacon to ensure that 1) she was going the right way and 2) that she hadn’t evidently lost her guide in the darkness and was stuck alone and defenseless in the depths of one of the Devildom’s largest, densest forests. The thought made her speed up a little.

It felt like ages of hiking (although it was hard to tell in the infinite darkness around her) Mammon stopped in his tracks. Due to the fact that she was in grossed in her thoughts, mostly about what was possibly surrounding them in the creepy woods, she nearly ran face first into his back.

“What is it, Mam?” Her wide eyes peered at him.

“We’re here!”

He was right. Without realizing it, they had stumbled into a small grassy meadow hidden right in the middle of the ominous forest. Scattered around it are mushrooms that emit a soft glow, and creatures like fireflys float around softly. The sound of frog bats croaking around her is a soft melody to her wonder at where in hell he had taken her to. Creatures that glow yellow and reminded her of an old Celtic myth drift like small lanterns around the clearing and through the trees- were they Will o’ the Whisps?

Mammon looked at her expectantly, ready to be showered in praise for his amazing sense of surprises, and was disappointed to realize she was too caught up in the beauty of the meadow to get around to thanking him yet. He crossed his arms, but supposed he would let her have a moment to take it all in so she could thank him properly in a moment.

The human was absolutely entranced by the area. In all her time being in the underworld, she had yet to see a place so jaw droppingly beautiful. It reminded her of something from a fantasy novel... or from an old play she had read long ago, about fairies and forests and other magical worlds. She whispered to herself, almost in a daze-

“I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,

Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,

Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,

With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine.”

“Hey, what the fuck are you spoutin’ over there?!” She snapped out of her trance almost immediately. Turning to face Mammon, she noticed his eyebrows were cinched in concern. First, she didn’t immediately fall to her knees with gratitude over him taking her to such a nice suprise. Second, his human had started to spout weird rhymes, and he was beginning to become concerned that her psyche had finally snapped from all the stress that came from living in the Devildom, or, in all actuality, the sprees of living with 7 boys.

“This place reminds me of a Midsummer Nights Dream. You know, by Shakespeare?” She tried to explain, embarrassed. She didn’t mean to start spouting old ass poetry, but she was sure she sounded absolutely batshit crazy now. Mammon shrugged as if to say “Humans, what are you gonna do?” And then proceeded to walk past her, guiding her toward the middle of the circle.

“I’m familiar,” he replied, smiling at her again. A glimmer in his blue eyes caused a knot to form in her stomach. “Don’t know why you bother reading that dusty old bags work. Will you come sit down and enjoy your damn outing though? I don’t have all night to cater to your cabin fever, ya know.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Shakespeare is pretty dusty.” She laughed, taking his arm in hers. A small brush creeped into her demons face, but she pretended not to notice. She liked it when he was blushing, anyway. “Thank you for bringing me here, Mammon. I feel like fairy’s and sprites are about to emerge from the tree and whisk me away to their mystical palace. It’s magical.”

“That’s a little proposterous, dontcha’ think?” Mammon snorted. She shot him an amused glare and smirked.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been abducted from my home by creatures I’d read about only in fairy tales to live in a luxurious palace in a mystical land.”

He felt like he had just choked on his tongue. Indignation began to rise in his cheeks as he realized she was correct- were fairies anymore preposterous than demons and witches to her?

“I am not a creature!” He demanded, now red in the face. Amusement glinted in her face- now it was his turn to be embarrassed. “I used to be an angel you know. Do you call Luke a creature?!”

She laughed, elated at her victory and managing to get Mammon so riled up. He was always so adorable when he got flustered like that, she thought. “Whatever you say. Creature or not, you’ll still always be my Mammoney.” He could feel his face flush a shade redder. Why did she always make his brain feel like it was buffering? Who did she think she was?

“Now, would you lay down in this beautiful meadow with me and enjoy some damn peace and quiet with me for once?” She took the arm she was holding and pulled him down onto the soft grass, giggling as he tried desperately not to crush her with his weight and tried to fling himself past her. He had good reflexes, thankfully.

They ended up laying face to face in the grass, bodies facing in opposite directions. He laid his hands gently on his lap, and he could see her playing with something in his periphial vision. The demon leaned his head back and saw she had plucked an indigo flower from the ground and was twirling it thoughtfully in her fingers above her.

“That’s deadly nightshade, ya know.” Mammon whispered, and she hummed softly. “Be careful, Lucifer would kill me if it was finally a fucking flower that took you out.”

“Belladonna.” She echoed, ignoring his last comment. “It’s beautiful.”

Like you. He wasn’t entirely sure where the though had come from, but it had jumped to the forefront of his mine like it was attached to a spring. He coughed to try and clear his throat, completely flustered by a two word thought.

“Maybe some of those fairy’s will come out of the woods when you drift off and smear some on your eyelids.” He said instead, still salty about being compared to the sprites. “Real fairies are fucking assholes that way.”

Nice save.

Yet, there it was again- that damn laugh. Every single time he heard it, it made I’m dizzy like he had just pounded half a bottle of demonous. He couldn’t help the dumb grin that broke out over his face. Maybe it was the sweet breeze drifting through the air- much sweeter than it was in the city- or maybe it was the sweet floral perfume you wore, but he felt like he was a little bit high on her.

She placed her hands over her face, trying to calm the laughing fit she had entered. After a minute she took a deep breath and breathed it out again, before beginning. “Okay, first, I’m not even going to ASK about whatever beef you have with fairies-“

“They’re little perverts.” He interjected, and she cracked up again. Man did he love being able to do that to her. She never laughed with any of his brothers like she did with him. He knew just how to push all her buttons.

“You’re impossible!” She reached up and slapped him teasingly. He had the good mind to look hurt, even though she had hurt him about as much as a gust of wind hurts a mountain

“Secondly,” she said, drawing out the -ly for emphasis. She sat up on her side to better look at him. “Was that a Midsummer Nights Dream reference I heard earlier?! Cause where in the hell were you hiding that?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “I told you I was familiar. What, you think the Great Mammon isn’t familiar with great art when he sees it?”

“I didn’t realize that meant you actually knew the plot.” She sighed, laying back down. He could feel the flush of her cheek against his.

Mammon smiled to himself, rotating so now he was leaning up on his arm as he looked down on her. The idiotic grin she gave him mirrored his own, and his heart fluttered annoyingly in his chest. He pushed it down and continued. “O, when she's angry, she is keen and shrewd!” He poked her gently in the side, and she swatted him away playfully. “She was a vixen when she went to school; And though she be but little, she is fierce.”

The girl gaped at him. The feeling was priceless, and a sudden rush a greed washed over him. The way she made him feel really was intoxicating, and he didn’t want to come down. With force, Mammon managed to push away the urge to hoard her here forever, away from everyone, like a maiden and the dragon in medieval legends. He shivered at the thought. “I used to scalp tickets for Shakespeare out in front of the Globe Theater and then I’d hide in the crowd. I’ve seen the play more times than I can count.” Mammon conceded, running his hand through his hair again. “It’s basically part of my psyche at this point.”

The pale haired boy flopped down next to her again. They sat in silence for a moment, before she began, “Sometimes I forget your thousands of years old.”

“Sometimes I forget you’re a flash in the pan that is my timeline.” Was his reply. He turned his head to look at her, and she did the same. “Feels like you’ve been here forever.” He looked away again, gazing up at the sky. Had her eyes always had all those different shades? He was sure she could see the pink tinge on his tan skin, as it so often did, though he didn’t really mind when he was with her. She made him feel ok to be a little weak.

She didn’t reply to that. He didn’t need her to. “It looks like there’s stars out tonight.”

It was true. The fog that almost constantly encapsulated the Devildom had broken for a moment and swirled like clouds beneath a sparkling dome. The Devildom’s realm lied hundreds of miles beneath the earth realms surface, and thus had a roof that was littered in stalactites and minerals. Some of the rocks even shone like diamonds, and on a rare, clear night like this, the lights from the city lit up those stones and gave an eerily similar effect to the stars of her home world.

They sat inside for a while, enjoying the silence. At some point, after mentioning that there was a slight chill in the air (it was the warmest time of flux, so Mammon wasn’t sure how honest her claim was, but he wasn’t about to argue) she had nestled snugly into his side. They listened to the sound of bat-frogs in the trees and the occasional wailing on banshees in the distance. It was so peaceful that when she spoke again, he startled, half asleep from the combination of the ambiance and her heat against his side.

“Have you ever thought about running away?”

“Whadda’ you sayin to me?” He groaned, rubbing the temptation of sleep from his eyes. He really hadn’t heard what she’d said, or at least couldn’t comprehend it.

“You know, have you ever thought about getting out of the Devildom, at least for a little while?” She paused, thinking. “You could start a life in the human world. We could get hitched while drunk in Vegas, have a couple of kids. Fight with the neighbors over the garbage cans and tree branches that hang into our yard.” He could hear her smile in her voice, amused by her own absurd fantasy.

Now it was Mammons turn to break up laughing. The idea of trying to live a normal life was hilariously absurd to him. Even just the thought of them getting married, having kids, arguing with the neighbors- there was no way that would ever work out for someone like him. He was a demon, after all- he had fought angels in heaven, torn lesser demons apart with his own two hands, tempted mortals with sin- the image of him paying a water bill cracked him up.

“Ya wanna live out in the desert?” She nodded happily, remembering thinking about living there when she drove through it on a family vacation a few years ago. He considered it.

She turned to face him, curious at what had suddenly occupied his mind. She had not been expecting him to take it seriously, and was suddenly curious as to where this was going. “On one condition.”

“Which is?”

“We live a life on the side like Bonnie and Clyde.” He held his hand up like a pistol, one eye shut and pretending to aim and fire at something above them. She giggled. “We’ll drive through the sands and rob banks, get drunk in shitty motels, live lavish on the side.” She watched him pensively. Of course the Avatar of Greed wouldn’t want to live in a shack in the desert- also, Vegas might not be the best idea with his gambling addiction. But the thought of riding through the long, hot highways, drinking hard liquor, and making love in shady motels suddenly became very appealing to her.

Making love? She caught herself. Where the hell had the come from?!

“We could get famous, we could get rich. Sure, we’ll die in a shootout with the cops, but when we do, our names will be splattered across every headline. They’ll tell our story for years. Decades!” His arm flopped lose by his side, game over. “I can see it already.”

“I like it.” She beamed at him. He grinned right back, his white hair catching the light from the whisps.

“Love's stories written in love's richest books, To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes.” He whispered, just to watch her eyes light up with recognition again.

“Damn straight you like it. It’s genius.” He segued back to the original conversation, making sure to give himself the obligatory pat on the back. Mammon decided to rotate himself so he was laying in her lap now, and damn, was it a good idea. She had automatically tucked her hands into his white fluff, and he almost groaned at the sensation. He loved it when she did that.

“We can vacation first class.” He managed to mumble out, focusing on enjoying her head scratchesz “I’ll keep us afloat, obviously-“ she nudged him slightly with her knuckle, telling him to knock it off. “- and you’ll keep kicking my ass. I’d expect nothing less.”

Her giggle made something twist in his stomach. Something had changed in how he thought about her these past couple months. When did he go from hating her and everything she stood for, to not being able to sleep without her in his bed? To catch himself thinking about her smile when he wasn’t paying attention in class? To nearly tearing apart that kid who checked out her ass on campus for no other reason than “only I get to look at her ass like that?” It was perplexing to him. He had blocked out everyone for so long, he wasn’t sure when you had had the time to sneak in past his walls and become so damn special to him. It was a little annoying, of course, but he didn’t blame you.

And yet,to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.

Great, when did he start thinking in Shakespeare?

“I love you, you know that?” He said. He didn’t even realize he was speaking before it rolled off his tongue. It was the first time he had ever said it out loud, though she had said it to him frequently. Come to think of it, he hadn’t heard her say it for a little while. Could that be where his outburst came from?

She stopped rolling the flower around in her fingers again- he wasn’t sure when she had resumed that- and turned to look at him like he had grown a third eye.

“Ya don’t have to look at me like I gotta second head, ‘ya know.” He glared off to the side, crossing his arms over his chest like a pissed off child. “I just hadnt gotten the chance to tell ya yet, ya know? I figured I should let you know before you get swollowed up by some street demon and are gone forev-“

“I love you too, Stupid Mammon.” She grinned at him, expression softening. “I know I haven’t told you that in a while. I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever, I didn’t even notice.” He had noticed.

“To be fair, the main reason I stopped the last couple weeks was cause I heard from Levi that everytime I told you ‘I love you’, you would immediately text him and go “She just said she loooooooves me, suck it, Leviathan.” And I would have to go try and stop him from drowning himself in his bathtub.”

“Thanks for reminding me of that!” Mammon said dramatically, slapping his palm against his forehead. “For completely unrelated reasons, have you seen my DDD? I have a text I have to send.” She elbowed him in the chest jokingly, and he couldn’t help the smirk that creeped across his lips.

“Don’t make me regret loving you, dingus.” She yawned. They made eye contact in the soft evening light, and he felt his stomach twist again. I’ll figure that out some other time.

“I would never. Promise.” He took her pinky in his, sealing it in an unbreakable Pinky Promise. She seemed satisfied with that, and laid back down on the grass.

After a few more croaks of the bat-frogs, Mammon heard her soft snores join in the nightly chorus. Gently wiggling out of her grasp, he stood up, stretched his back, and scooped her delicately into his arms. He begun the trek home, trying keeping her cozy in his arms as he stumbled back through the trees and down the hill. At one point, she reached up and grabbed at his jacket, trying to pull him closer. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead, and she settled back into his chest again.

I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, to die upon the hand I love so well.

[chyrstis]

Hanarky for the ship meme? 👀💕

@geronimo-11 @amistrio @ma-sulevin @risenlucifer @himbopike

Let me just say that to get one ask is awesome. To get five asking for the same pair especially when it’s these two? <3 You’re all fantastic for asking, and I’m all too glad to dive into this for them.

Hana Vao / Sharky Boshaw

--

General:

Rate the Ship -  

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - These two are full-on set on driving into that sunset together, and this last until they’re old and gray.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It’s pretty fast for both. Sharky was a little love-struck if not during their initial intro, then shortly after, wondering who the hell this woman was, yelling Die Hard quotes while handing him molotovs, and why he didn’t have a chance to meet her sooner. Hana on the other hand was immediately charmed by his brand of absurdity, and after a week or two on the road, found she didn’t want to go a day without it. It didn’t take much longer for feelings to set in after that.

How was their first kiss? - Oh, it was a doozy. Entirely on accident, especially since she just wanted to thank him for always being sweet to her (and for finding coffee, b/c going without it’s been rough), and wanted to kiss his cheek. No big deal. She lays one right on his mouth instead, and the residual shock and the holy shit of it all makes her immediately exit stage left. The kiss they share later on down the line’s one she’s much more content with, b/c there’s no grey area, no doubting it at all, and the minute he returns it she’s almost overwhelmed by it. Sharky’s easily in the same boat, b/c this isn’t wishful thinking, or him hoping for something that isn’t there. It’s her wanting him, and once he can shut his mouth for longer than a few seconds at a time they get to making up for all the times they should’ve kissed before.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Sharky! It’s years down the line, but he finds a way to make a ring for her, and after checking to see if it fits, immediately proposes to her on the spot.

Who is the best man/men? - There’s no official ceremony, but Sharky would’ve wanted Hurk there for it, if possible.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Hana would’ve definitely asked Grace.

Who did the most planning? - Sharky! Hana had no damn clue what he had in mind, or was planning, but he actually managed to get a little misty-eyed while watching a proposal scene from one of her movie picks, so...

Who stressed the most? - Sharky. Though the poor guy didn’t get hit with most of it until he’d slipped the ring onto her finger.

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - N/A (Hurk Sr. gets an honorary mention here, though)

Sex:

Who is on top? - Both like the other on top so they’ll definitely switch, but Hana’s probably there the most often.

Who is the one to instigate things? - They’re both equally guilty of this with varying degrees of subtlety, and Hana’s absolutely burst out laughing at a few of Sharky’s attempts, but always gets right to kissing him soon after.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now - (hey, they’re making up for lost time here)

How kinky are they? -

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - A good couple of rounds if they’re in a safe place, and time’s no object.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They certainly try (though she grouses at Sharky whenever he gets a lead on her, leaving him wearing the worst shit-eating grin)

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Two! Gabrielle, and I’m still trying to zero in on a name for their little boy. Rocky? Jack? Kurt?

How many children will they adopt? - N/A

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - These two try to split this duty right down the middle.

Who is the stricter parent? - Hana, which is a feat. XD

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Also, Hana, b/c no matter what she and Sharky got up to before this, it’s really for the best that neither of the kids try to emulate that.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - It’s a team effort, and any no-cult AU would totally involve Sharky handing bags of chips and jerky to each kid with Hana on his heels ready with a sandwich or two.

Who is the more loved parent? - They’re both pretty equal, but Gabby loves working with Sharky in the Pyrotechnics lab big-time, while Kiddo #2 loves racing around with Hana (and is a movie trivia buff in the making)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? N/A - Hana would be dragged kicking and screaming to them and hate it.

Who cried the most at graduation? - N/A due to the Collapse, but Sharky might win this one. He certainly sheds a happy tear or two whenever the kids hand him gifts or show him cool things they’ve made, and any award they’d earn? Whoops, he’d be a goner.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Hana’s up to bat first going through legal avenues, but if she can’t manage to wing it, Sharky’s ready to step up to the plate.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - They both would be take-out junkies, but Hana can make most of the basics.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither, really. She’d tease Sharky about deviating any from his jerky-heavy diet, though.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Probably Hana, but she’d drag him along for it too (and they’d race carts in the parking lot)

How often do they bake desserts? - Not frequently, but Hana would every once in a blue moon attempt a cake or brownies, and post-Collapse Sharky tries really hard to find a way to make that happen.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat, meat, meat.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Sharky, and although he’s not much of a cook, he’ll save her extra desserts for their anniversary week. Once they’re out he tries to go a little fancier, though, and doesn’t burn things to a crisp 60-70% of the time?

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Sharky.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Sharky.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - They’re both messy, so they try to take turns with chores.

Who is really against chores? - Sharky. He’s not thrilled with any of it, but puts up with it since

Who cleans up after the pets? - They don’t start off with pets, but Hana can’t help but feed a stray cat or two once they get to the surface, and gladly takes care of any messes they make.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Sharky, the sneak.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Both would usually be okay, but Hana does stress a bit more about cleaning when a certain someone John tends to visit.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Sharky would probably find the dollar while trying to sweep things under it, to be honest. XD

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Hana. It’s where she can unwind, and it only gets longer if she has company (which she usually hopes for and Sharky 100% delivers on)

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - If moments with Boomer count, Hana would totally go jogging with him, and did a few times while heading out on patrol.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Hana’s a Halloween junkie, and loves throwing parties, so that's a must even when they don't have many actual decorations to hang. Sharky won't hesitate to help her find some prime picks, though, and can whip up some great ones in a jiffy.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Have the other’s back no matter what, and make the other the happiest they’ll ever be.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Sharky.

Who plays the most pranks? - Sharky.

[kurogabae]

TSUBASA: TRAINWRECK CHRONICLES

And How Bee Train is Single-Handedly Propagating Cancel Culture in This the Year of Our Lord 2020

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 – PART 4 -- PART 5 

[[ join me on PillowFort. i have free invite codes if you need an account ]]

So last post was all filler episodes and we're well into season two of this, and I cannot stress this enough, two season anime. The only canon arc we've had was Piffle so far and it was poorly handled and out of order. Surely, absolutely surely, we are in for a canon arc. Shara perhaps? Skip right to Le Court? We all know they'd never dare touch Tokyo. How are they going to pad out the rest of the season?

Why another filler. A bad filler. The dreaded filler that goes against pretty much all of Fai's everything.

It's "A Date With a Wizard" and Kurogane isn't the one getting the date. If you haven't watched or heard of this episode before, buckle up kids. It's a doozy. And big spoiler warnings ahead.

Fort City Bit AKA Fai Dates His Own Fucking Mom (but like an AU version so it's okay I guess???):

You read that right. Fai goes on a date with this world's version of Chii, who was an artificial being he modeled after his dead mother. I could end the rant here but oh, there is so much to this. So much. It's only one episode long but it feels like an eternity.

The premise for magic use in this world is that:

Everyone has magic and that magic is specialized

Your career path is based on your magic's specialization. Like in MLP with cutie marks. And everyone is Fine with this.

Everyone recharges their magic via the sun, which is risen by their king

The king is chosen yearly after everyone in the country has the same fucking dream one night

The whole country runs on magic, to the point that if there is no magic there is no food, no power, no anything. But that's fine, because every day they get recharged by the sun. Right? WRONG! Because the current king is being a depressed little shit and refuses to raise the sun, effectively dooming the country to a slow death. Neat.

BUT BEFORE ALL OF THAT! The episode opens with Fai having a nightmare about Ashura looming like he's auditioning for a role in Attack on Titan. Vague and menacing, which is literally all we know about Ashura because we know nothing about Fai's past. And we never will. At least not in anime-land. No one knows anything. The manga isn't pulling this fakey flashback shit, so why is the anime? I don't know, but I hate it!

Anyway, the family gets the low down from Touya and Yukito - who still do not recognize Sakura and that upsets me because of the implications that there is no Sakura in this universe. (Sidenote: Kurogane recognizes them, even though he's never met them in the anime so far so honestly, just fuck everything.) While Touya is feeding them a frankly lavish meal that he's magiced up he explained their king problems. This leads to my next issue - if you're so worried about running out of magic why are you using it so flippantly and in such an extra ass way? Can you not make normal food? Does it only exist in magic form? Maybe just summon some soup? Does all food cost the same amount of mana? THIS MAGIC SYSTEM IS BAD!

So, back to the whole the king is too sad to raise the sun which powers everyone's magic which is now beginning to run low. Another problem I have. You get a recharge on your magic everyday. They have not gotten ANY recharges for, and I'm quoting here, months. They change kings every year. So even on the low end of things we're looking at 3-4 months before anyone got concerned about the king just. Not raising the sun. Personally, I would have gotten worried after a few days, a week at most. No one wanted to go and find out like "Hey your highness, why no sun? What's got you down?"

That, however, would be logical. This is a place of magic and whimsy! Not logic. Fai is asked to use his magic to figure out what is wrong with their king. Predictably, he tells them they have a better chance of meeting god, so everyone gets thrown in jail. Because refusing to solve a country's weird problems is illegal. Not that jail has ever stopped them before. Not with Kurogane and his muscles around. And while I am always up for watching Kurogane break things I do have to wonder - why are they not just warping free? Mokona said there was no feather. No one said anything about being magically held back. And yet, they are running through the castle, endangering themselves and the children!!!

Obviously this is For Plot Reasons, and I use the words "plot" and "reasons" loosely here.

Somehow the kitties and puppies get separated and Fai and Sakura end up surrounded by guards. Does Fai finally fight? Does he open that can of whoop ass we all know he's been saving? No. He leaps into the air and takes flight like some sort of stork. And while Fai's current cocky attitude is refreshing, he's working on some sort of idiot bimbo in a horror movie logic of "to escape the building I must do upstairs". This is not a man made to last on his own.

And, like Shrek to Fiona, the stairs lead him to the highest room in the tallest tower. Fai, then, promptly loses his shit as if he's not fully aware that doubles exist across the multiverse. Like, yeah, it would be a shock and anyone would be freaked out at the sudden surprise of it all, but Fai acts like he thinks he's stepped back into Celes. Like an idiot. He's better than this.

Now, we learn more things about this messed up king situation. Not only does everyone have a dream every year electing the new monarch, but the new king gets their memory erased for the whole year so that they can "rule with a pure heart" or some shit. Which seems like a baaaad fucking way to run.... anything. At all. Ever. Might as well pick up a fresh baby and put it in charge. It's bad. And it gets worse.

Chii is sad, but she wants to hang out with Fai and it's the first time she's shown any interest in doing anything but being Sad so her babysitter spirits are all like "Oh that's neat!" And Fai takes this is his chance to just... run off for a night on the town with her? They literally vanish and leave Sakura ALONE IN THE CASTLE WITH THE SAME SPIRITS WHO JAILED THEM. In what fucking universe????

Look, they are trying so so so so so so hard to sell this FaiChii shit. Fai leaves Sakura alone in a castle where they have just busted out of jail, he has no idea where or how Kurogane and Syaoran are, he's clearly uncomfortable around Chii as she reminds him of what he's running from, and, oh yeah, she's a copy of his dead mother he created in another world in order to comfort him and his dead brother as a child. Everything is Fine. Let's go get tea.

I'm gonna rapid fire some S tier bullshit:

no one knows where Chii has taken Fai - why is there no way to track your baby-brained king?

Fai leaves with Chii happily and cheerily, again, leaving Sakura behind and alone - who is this man because it isn't Fai

the only clue they have to Fai and Chii's location is that they are no longer on castle grounds, yet somehow Syaoran knows Exactly Where to Look - because sure why not?

Chii doesn't know how to drink???? - does this happen with every king? do they have to be potty trained too? omg they really are babies this is a terribly way to run a country!!!!!!

teaching someone basic life functions is not romantic but Bee Train sure wants us to think it is

"I want to stay with Fai forever and always." - at least he panics at commitment still... and probably incest

“I should be thanking you. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way.” - What? Uncomfortably reminded of your past and why your life is just shy of a living hell? Who are you? You are not Fai

Kurogane and Syaoran show up to save Fai and Chii, who have been surrounded by guards (I think, I can't remember exactly but I'm pretty sure they're there to take her back to the castle and her Sad Room). Fai apparently won't fight in front of Chii but whatever at this point.

It comes out that Chii is an artificial soul/being (like the Chii in Celes) and because of that she cannot leave the town or she DIES and that means the king dies and I guess they don't have a back up plan for that. Unsurprising but bad. Still, Chii begs Fai to take her away and show her the world and Fai like... hesitates? Thinks about it? Considers it?!?!? I dunno but he doesn't automatically say "Uh no, you'll die and also I have other shit to do, bye" and that's dumb for a lot of reasons.

Eventually he tells her no and convinces her to bring the sun back and be happy because she'll be able to remember him or some shit (you know, unless they take those memories too!) and  they all say goodbye. And I couldn't be more thankful.

Honestly, the real MVP here is Kurogane for not just losing his shit at all of this like I have. He's a better man than I.

Tune in next time as I continue to scream, in vain, at god.

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 – PART 4 -- PART 5

[devillainsarchive]

headcanon/meta;

Part 1 on Why Cruella is the worst the parent, now with more proof from canon material:

this gets long so its under the cut

Movie Proof

D1

First Cruella states that Carlos can’t go to Auradon because she wont have anyone to do some of her hygiene routine such as her hair and scraping bunions. Second, Cruella uses Carlos’ fear of dogs that she instilled in him, against him because “there are dogs in auradon, carlos.”

Third, these visuals from the movie itself and promotional material:

Fourth, Carlos’ bag is a trash bag, implying he has little to know possessions, and why would that be when Cruella is one of the most extravagant villains hmmm. Fifth, “I will never forget mother’s day again” regardless of what I have written on the subject, the fact that Carlos’ reaction to seeing his mom is a specific event, should tell you something. Jay sees what his dad really is, Evie sees her mom and honestly to me it sounds like she kind of misses her mom, and Mal gets her show tune. But Carlos’ is very clearly a traumatic event.

Sixth, in Auradon at the parents day message, Cruella only cares about the fact that Carlos has a dog, clearly for her own uses. Seventh, at this same parents day meeting Carlos looks uneasy after standing up to his mother. Eigth, “Our parents will be really really angry” said before Ben promises their parents wont reach them here, and before Carlos turns good. He agrees to be good, to stay away from his mother.

D2

First, “hear her voice in my head.” I have seen so many posts claiming that because this is Mal’s dream sequence that this line indicates that she still feels her mom’s pressure or whatever. However I don’t agree with that, because in my opinion this is something that he has spoken with Mal about. Each of the the others all have lines indicating things that they have to over come in order to stick it to their parents. This is also telling of suffering that we don’t see on screen.

Second, the second they are on the isle, we see a completely different Carlos from Auradon Carlos. His guards are up in a way that Jay’s and Evie’s aren’t. He mentions that they don’t want their parents to find out that they are there, he really means his mom. Not to mention there is a reason he does not want Dude on the Isle.

Third his little rivalry from Harry (and this actually stems from Uma’s Wicked Book), stems from the fact that Harry tried to steal Cruella’s car, and then locked him in a stockade for two days til Hook got Cruella to release him. If Cruella had her henchman do that to someone who isn’t her son, what would she do to her own son? Much worse. But yeah, that feud caused by Cruella, and Carlos knows it.

Book Proof

Aside from Uma’s Wicked Book mentioned above, lets start with the Spell Books since those act as companions to the movie. I will also later add to this post with the novelization of the movies to further show my proof. I also wont be going into much of the 3rd novel because their isn’t much about the parents in there.

Mal’s Spellbook

First off I’d like to remind everyone that the blanket that Jay and Carlos are fighting over is blue (not that I think its the one Evie gave Carlos but still), Carlos says “It was the one thing I wanted. Can’t I have a little security here?” Not only is this an awful pun, but it implies Carlos had none of that on the Isle thanks to his mom. .Later on page 81 he states, “I just want to go back to the Isle of the Lost, where no one expects much of me.”

On Page 108, he sees the hair spell, and thinks he should use it for his mom, so clearly still in that mindset of what his mother would want.

When asked about the saddest thing that ever happened to them on page 123, Carlos states, “A lot of of sad stuff happened to me, I don’t get upset about it, though, or cry about it. I guess I just try to forget. (And writing about it here isn’t going to help.)” So not only does Carlos have alot of sad stuff that happened to him on the Isle, he refuses to talk about it or get help, this could be just bullies, but considering what the others are writing about, their parents (save for Evie and her doll), its safe to say its not bullies with Carlos.

On page 141, and 143 Carlos claims he’s nothing like his mom after mentioning Ben states that they are not their parents. He also talks about how scared he is when Cruella sees Dude. Then on page 144, he states that they have to take over Auradon because he can’t say goodbye to Dude because he wont take the dog tot he Isle (which Disney Carlos is more than the fucking dog). Carlos also on page 148 is worried that Dude wont be safe once they get the wand, but I have a feeling he is projecting a bit here.

After Parents Day Carlos begins to think that they are as bad as their parents and they are as bad as the Auradon students and people say they are. Carlos also mentions that before Ben they had never met a “truly good person”.

On Page 166, the first thing on Carlos’ list of reasons to celebrate staying in Auradon, is being away from their parents.

Mal’s Spellbook II

The book starts out and one of the first things Carlos talks about is bananas, now its no surprise that food is bad on the isle, but Carlos’ fascination with it shows a bit more than it just being bad.

He feels bad and angry at himself for not confronting Chad even if that is the right thing to do. He can’t seem to speak, which I believe is fully related to Cruella. He had little to no ability to speak with her when she made him do something he did not want to. The same goes for anyone with significant power over him, like Chad.

So while its listed under funny things dude has said, I find it very telling that Carlos included it considering the other things on the list, I mean they are all about dog things, but this one just seems a bit odd to me. “Would you want me to walk you on a leash?”

School of Secrets - Carlos’ Treasure Hunt

I am not going to talk alot about this book mainly because I do not own it, and have not read the entire thing.

HOWEVER, Cruella has many items relating to dogs, and getting people to bend to her will without question. One of these items is in fact a dog collar, and she more or less implies that Carlos needs to use it. She also more or less implies that she would never need to use it on him.

The Isle of the Lost

First I am not going to go through every single page of the book, but I am going to talk about the bigger scenes in the book.

Carlos admits that sending his mom into hysterics isn’t hard, and he will hum Roger’s song for her to help her do it, At a cost to him of course. So on page 41 we have this conversation between Evie and Carlos. Evie is finally let out of her banishment, and admits she doesn’t remember much about her party, and that she doesn’t know Carlos is her neighbor. Carlos says he lives down the street in Hell Hall, and Evie is a bit confused and states, “But I thought no one lived but that crazy old lady and her---” Carlos cuts her off, and doesn’t want her to say the next word but Evie does anyways. Evie thought Carlos was a dog. Evie then goes on to say “BUt she’s always calling someone her pet, I thought you were a d---” She then goes onto ask “But how do you fit in the crate at night.” 

When presented with an image of his mom in all her glory he shudders and ignores class. When Mal announces that their will be a party at Carlos; house, he states that she knows that his mom doesn’t like having people over. Carlos lives in isolation, because of his mother.

This quote from page 64, “Cruella was always telling him how boring hew as because all he liked to do was fiddle with electronics all day. His mother declared he was wasting his time, that he was usless at everying except chores... Still, he wished that one day Cruella would see him as more than just a live-in servant who happened to be related to her.” This is a pure example of a type of abuse.

Carlos’ room on the Isle consists of a corner of his mother’s coat closet, which is covered in bear traps. He has what the book calls a “mattress” though its hardly that, no pillow, and no blanket. Again key signs of neglect. Along with this he states no one has ever cared if he was warm or not, when referencing a blanket, and the fact that he is not allowed to touch Cruella’s furs (something tells me he has tried before). He also gets embarrassed when he says he never had a pillow before. The only place he can keep things is in his tree house so his mom does not get to them. 

On page 130 Carlos insinuates his mother will skin him for the party, “If his mother had any idea that he’d let a bunch of people come over... and even worse let them near her fur closet.... let alone be tackled in a pile of full-length grade-a-pelt coats--- well lets just say it wouldn’t be a puppy she would be trying to skin.” Not to mention just before this, people apparently tell Carlos that Cruella has mellowed out with age, but his response is they don’t have to live with her, meaning she is just as bad if not worse.

Carlos like school, it is not a surprise he’s a nerd, but one thing he likes is structure. This is key because structure is not something he gets at home. On page 194 while Carlos got everyone to help him clean his house in order for him to go with them to retrieve Maleficent’s scepter Mal admits, “Her mother might ignore her, and resent her, and scold her; but at least she wasn’t Maleficent’s virtual slave” referencing Carlos. This isn’t the big quote from Mal about Carlos but this is a pretty big doozy if Mal admits that Carlos has it bad, if not the worst out of all of them, and all the kids on the Isle really.

Later on the same page, Cruella comes home. Carlos shakes because Cruella is home early, the house isn’t clean, and their are people inside. Mal even admits that no one is as scary as her mother so she doesn’t understand why Carlos is so jumpy. When Cruella calls out, “Carlos, Carlos, My baby!” Mal thinks that it isn’t too bad, because she is under the impression Cruella is talking about Carlos. Cruella then says her Baby needs a wash, which Evie is like “she knows your dirty from here.” Carlos then announces that Cruella is referring to her car, not him. The scene continues and Cruella asks about her one true love, Jay, Mal, and Evie all turn to Carlos, and Carlos is like hello what now? And Cruella elaborates she meant her furs. Carlos is embarrassed he forgot, something Mal can even tell. The scene goes on, and Cruella essentially makes them all clean her car by the end of it.

“...Carlos with his screeching harpy of a parent...” Now this quote is used all the time. I want to be clear that what we see from Carlos’ life it is more than just yelling. However even if it it was, that is still abuse. 

Carlos’ trial in the book is about his mother. The creatures ask what his mother’s one true love is, and Carlos cannot bear to say it out loud. She never means him though, because it is her furs and not him. Admitting out loud, and then saying that the other three already knew that is not easy for him. Upon leaving the castle, where they have to cross the bridge again, Carlos admits he doesn’t know if he can do it again.

Upon his return home, Cruella finds her coat closet, Carlos forgets to clean it. She starts screaming at him, and he says it will never happens gain. But he also indicates that he not only sees the gargoyles laughing at him, she ends with saying Carlos is a disappointment.

Also at some point in the book Mal states that while her mom is bad, she is not as bad as Cruella.

Return to the Isle of the Lost

On page 48 Carlos on the prospect of getting a message from his mother, and potentially having to return to the isle twists in fear at that his mother is right behind him (Even though she isn’t). Even though he says he just feels like she is near. On page 49 he then says, “While Maleficent might be able to turn into a dragon, Cruella was a dragon.” Mal throws his thoughts and words about her off as paranoia. But friends I think at this point we all know Carlos’ fear is valid from years of abuse and neglect.

When the four return to the Isle, and they are looking for their parents, they come to Hell Hall. Carlos whispers for his mom where Evie just goes right and yells causing Carlos to freak out.

On page 271 Carlos admits that his house was a house of horrors thanks to Cruella.

In collecting his talisman Carlos is the only one who actually faces his parent. Cruella wants him to leave, and Carlos almost does because she told him to. In fact the book states “everything in his brain told him to run from his mother...” He has to physically fight his mother. In fact when he gets the ring of envy, his mother says he can do what he wants with it. And he very nearly does destroy her. On page 278 the book implies that destroying Cruella would rid of him of his nightmares, “destroy his mother, rid the world of another villain, and stop having nightmares once and for all.” Cruella goads him, but he doesn’t do it when he puts the ring on because he thinks that “he is better than oyu, mother. no matter what you’ve always told me.” We know that this is all a vision, and not actually his mother, but a vision is a vision. He sees his mom (only confirming the line in D2) in his head all the time.

Conclusion

Cruella was abusive to Carlos both verbally, and physically. She neglected him worse than any of the isle kids could imagine, and submitted him to torture, such as making him submit to being a dog.

So that’s all I got for book proof at the moment, stay tuned for a part 2.

[surveillance-0011]

Splat 3 Direct Thoughts

So... we finally got it! I’d say I’m pretty happy with the direct, but my thoughts are certainly all over the place... there are some things I’m worried about, but I’m more curious than apprehensive about ‘em. Regardless of that, though, I’d like to sort it all out! Spoilers ahead, if you’d like to watch it for yourself and haven’t yet. 

Turf War/General

First of all, I really like the girl’s voice ngl. 

Glad to get confirmation on the squid roll’s invincibility frames! I feel these new moves will be game changers in all the right ways.

Loving the two new weapons. We knew about the Stringer, but the Splatana caught me off guard. Looks like a nice weapon. Totally gonna get ‘em both.

The new specials look decent, too! I don’t mind that some are returning from 2 either. Between the new arrivals, 2′s returning bunch and 1′s modified specials, it really ties it together for me. Nothing seems too broken.

On the topic of weapons I... am not sure how I feel about the license? I don’t see a need for it and it feels restrictive. I guess it makes sense lore-wise though. Eh, probably just something to get used to?

Really happy that Mahi-Mahi is returning! I really missed that stage. It’s also interesting to see Hammerhead Bridge completed! I wonder what the returning stages mean for just how far the Splatlands really are from Inkoplois, though. Maybe the surfaced Octolings shared some cool transportation tech with the Inklings? 

Love the marketplace stage as well. Looks like Flounder Heights is coming back later on, and the upcoming ruins stage has piqued my interest!

Looks like Ranked has gotten an upgrade. It’s “Anarchy” now. Huh. Rainmaker has changed a bit, too!

New Lobby looks nice, certainly more fun, engaging, and it makes friends easier to access and interact with!

I also like the lockers a lot. I wanted the customization of apartments but wondered if they’d serve any use. This feels like a nice middle ground. You also get to see what others do, which is a plus!

I was hoping for something like outfit sets! And new amiibos!! Will totally get the smallfry one! I wonder if we’ll get to hear Salmonids talk now... most likely the amiibo will translate our buddy’s squeaks, but I bet they’ll have some funky mannerisms like the Octo-miibos do!

Card game was. Ok. It’s nice. I don’t like card games that much sorry.

The dabbing cause psychological damage. i love it.

I hope posts aren’t locked behind twitter. They didn’t mention anything about needing an account, so fingers crossed!!

Shops, Splatnet

Curious about the catalogues. Hopefully it’s not gone forever once it’s passed. Knowing Splatnet, though, I think there will be a chance to nab the catalogue items on there after the two years are up.

Sheldon’s new look has my heart! And Murch... *sniff* my little boy grew up! I’m not crying, YOU ARE!!! 

I also like our new Shopkeepers, especially Gnarly Eddy and Nails! Nice to see a nautilus in game. A little miffed that Jel le Fleur isn’t an actual Man of War but idc that much. And Mr. Coco looks sweet! Love coconut crabs...

Nice to see Annie is still running her online store, and Crusty Sean’s living his best life!

And PARUKO. I mean, she’s “Harmony” now, but regardless of localization I’m glad to see her in game! Her personality is exactly how her bio made her out to be and I think the convenience store is a nice touch of realism. I hope this doesn’t mean ABXY has broken up and that this is just some side gig, but if that’s the case then... mayyybee BariBari returns?

Salmon Run

WOOO BOYYYYY!!! This was a doozy but God I AM HERE FOR IT!

I think the new bosses are decent... and scary. Glad to see more diversity in Salmonid body types with Big Shot, I love how wacky they get.

It also seems King Salmonid isn’t just the one from the trailer... Cohozuna is one of many types! If that’s the case I wonder what the others will be like.

It also seems the Next Wave trailer theme was the theme for these King Salmonid fights, and not the main basic one! Which makes me pretty relieved. It’s way more fitting for a special mode, and the song playing in the main gameplay is a lot better to listen to consistently.

I’d say this also shows Omega 3 is probably not dead or suffering a collective mental breakdown! I mean, all Salmonids are desperate and distressed, most likely, but knowing this is just a theme for the King Salmonid fights and hearing their other music is enough to convince me they’re all in one piece... yes, this was a genuine concern. I like them, okay? They’re endearing. Love me some dysfunctional fish!

BIG RUN. HOLY SHIT. I like this one a lot, I was wondering what it’d be like if Salmonids invaded. I feel like the Book of Madai scroll foreshadowed this, and it’s wonderful retaliation for Grizzo seemingly invading their territory and possibly prolonging the run!

Also makes sense for Big Runs to be rarer, as they’ll probably be playable stages for longer periods of time. Also love the theme for it. 

Ughhmm uhhh idk new omega 3 music good. Love it. Going to eat it. Hope we see em on the twitter soon.

Story Mode 

Not sure what to say exactly, like the new music is nice and the story looks generally promising? 

The gameplay looks nice, too, but I am still iffy about it being more of the same thing. Hoping the DLC isn’t against the Octarians

If our friendly announcer’s words are anything to go by, though, this is the last bit in the Saga of Inklings v Octarians! I think we’ll team up with Octavio to figure out the Fuzzy Ooze situation, and working together will show him Inklings are willing to help and the two can get along (still works if you make Agent 3 an octoling, in fact I’d say seeing an Octarian working so well with Inklings would help change his mind) and would lead to peace being made and the Octarians underground having their energy crisis solved for good!

Also, the new Idols have the masks in the promo art for the Story Mode. With their shady vibes they might be antagonists, or hold the key to something we need, whether it be information or an item... Their traditional garb makes me think they’d know of the past, honestly. More on them later, though!

With Off The Hook’s space-like designs, the rocket, and their implied DLC focus, I wonder if the DLC will involve space?

We also know Ark Polaris was some sort of test or liftoff station. Perhaps the DLC will tackle Salmonids and Grizzco? We know they have worked for the company and maybe they grow suspicious of it and decide to investigate with help of the player character?

A liiiitle sad we didn’t see 4 or 8, but there’s always the DLC...

Idols, Splatfest

I’d say I like the new Idols, but their vibes are... odd. Maybe they’re just meant to be mysterious, especially considering their ambiguous role in the Story Mode. I could see them being antagonists or knowing something we don’t, as mentioned before, but I don’t think they’ll be outright evil. Misguided perhaps, but not as vile as TarTar.

I do like their traditional style and the... uh, Reggaeton? I don’t know my genres well. Either way, love the vibe and the music won me over in the end! 

Big Man has my heart. I mean, they all do, but he’s so cuuute!!!

Shiver and Fyre’s designs are really nice. Love seeing a darker skinned inkling in the focus.

I PREDICTED ROCK PAPER SCISSORS, COLORS AND ALL!!! Patting myself on the back for that one.

I do wonder how the three-way’s gonna go down. I like the structure so far, but I hope all three teams have a fair fight and having to match them up evenly works.

In general I like their dynamic, too, and I think I just have to get used to them.

Aaaand... that’s it for now! Though I won’t shut up for the next couple of days anyway. 

[phatjosh180]

RACE RECAP: Revel Big Cottonwood Half Marathon

Four months ago this was my goal race for 2019. I was registered to do the full marathon and was planning to train throughout the summer with the sole purpose and focus on doing another marathon. It’s been since February 2017 that I have tackled anything longer than a half marathon. I won’t rehash all of the reasons why — there were a lot of issues … ankle, back, health, etc., etc. You know, things that happen when you age.

It’s been a frustrating past couple of years to say the least. I’ve still accomplished a lot and had NUMEROUS awesome experiences during that time frame — but, it’s been hard accepting many of the changes and realities. I still feel like I should or need to be that same runner that is PRing a half marathon at 2:09 and tackling ultras. But, reality is teaching me something entirely different.

Anyways — in June I came down with a pretty nasty bout of bronchitis and walking pneumonia that just killed my marathon training. It wiped a solid three weeks of running from me. It set me back quite a bit and I knew a marathon was just not going to happen. So I decided to take my lumps and downgrade down to the half marathon.

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A post shared by Josher (@josherwalla) on Sep 14, 2019 at 5:26pm PDT

With my year of running pretty much a mess for me — physically, mentally and emotionally — I’ve really been focusing on just enjoying the run, the community and moment. I’ve let go of the pursuit of improvement, speed training and longer distances — for the moment. I need to really work on giving myself a good base of fitness going into 2020. You can read more about that here. I really don’t want to take much more space of my race report to cover all of that.

Honestly, if this was any other race I probably would have deferred or sold my bib because my half marathon base is weak. But, I needed to do this race — I love Revel. I love this course. And, I am a Legacy Runner (meaning I’ve done each race since it’s inaugural race in 2012) who really, really, really wants to also make it into their Ten Year Club in 2021. So, while I might not PR on the course (my fastest course time was 2:12 in 2013) I had to at least show up and finish.

So that was really the goal — to finish. But, not to just finish, but have a ridiculous amount of fun. Because, that was really needed more than anything my body could give me physically. I needed to have some fun and get some joy from my running — something that’s been hard to comeby lately.

Jill and her husband Mark came down from Boise to run the race as well. Mark registered for the marathon while Jill decided to run with me. Even though her pace is much faster than mine at the moment she’s been craving and needing a social run more than a PR as well. Especially since she doesn’t have the same supporting cast in Boise like she did when they lived here in Utah. So the race plan was simple — to run with Jill and have a ridiculous amount of fun. Easy enough race goal to follow, right?

The morning of the race was somewhat uneventful and routine of any canyon race. I did scare this kid who somehow got stuck in traffic that lead him to the runners’ parking lot. He thought it was a 4am sobriety check. I don’t think he was high or drunk — but, from his reaction I’m sure he had weed on his person. It sure gave me a laugh.

After catching one of the last buses up the canyon we had about 40-45 minutes until gun time — which I’m grateful because it was a tad bit nippy in the canyon. Once the gun sounded it took us about 12 minutes to finally cross the start line and we were off. It took me a couple miles to get the legs working because of a combination of the cold and lack of downhill training.

But, once Jill and I got to around mile three I was feeling pretty good. But, of course that’s subjective. Luckily we weren’t focused much on physical aspect of the race, because we were just having a blast. We ran into a number of friends as well, including our friend McKenzie from SUU. It was just a lot of fun.

Around miles 6-8 I was started to feel the hurt — which wasn’t surprising because my training has been mostly for 10Ks this year. I brought some applesauce and electrolytes with me to help me through the last half of the race because I knew it was going to be rough. Unfortunately, I lost my electrolytes at some point so I had to rely on Jill’s good graces who shared some of her pills with me. And, they dang well saved my life (half joking here).

But, as tough as that last half of the race was for me — I did my best to have fun. And, Jill and I did just that. We posed for pictures. And, we got some doozies. We tried doing the YCMA in a couple of them — to no avail. Our coordination was just of a bit. And, we were planning an epic finish line picture, but that didn’t end up happening because we got separated at Mile 11.

And, as much as I wanted to run the whole 13.1 miles with Jill, I was grateful for those last couple of miles I ran by myself. Since I didn’t have my music with me it was just me running to the sounds of the race, traffic and surrounding area. It was pretty therapeutic, because I couldn’t lose myself in a soundtrack, I just had my thoughts.

I thought a lot about this past couple of years and the struggles I’ve had with my health. I thought a lot about the struggles with my ankle, my back, my anxiety and my thyroid — all that have seemed to convolute to now. But, among that all, it wasn’t frustration or sadness that I felt — it was gratitude. I may not have been running my best or fastest race, but that didn’t matter — I was here. I was among friends and among a community that I love a lot.

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INTERESTING FACT: You’ll be disqualified from the race if they catch you peeing in the woods, but they won’t for flashing.

A post shared by Josher (@josherwalla) on Sep 15, 2019 at 1:07pm PDT

It was hard to not think about my journey and the people that have come with that — especially my friend Robert Merriman. He always comes to mind during each race. It was really a neat and touching moment to have these emotions run through my thoughts. It helped me process through everything I’ve been going through and put into perspective.

By mile 12.5 I just felt a peace of knowing that I’d be fine in the long run. That this time next year — as long as I did what I know I need to do — that I’d be back here at this race doing the full marathon. It was hard not to visualize that feeling and scene as I saw the finish line for this race. Even though I was a about 20 minutes slower than last year I was also grateful that I didn’t throw up all over the finish line like 2018. That alone was a win over last year.

I have three more planned races for 2019 — a 5K, 10K and half marathon. That might change? I am still not 100% on tackling another half marathon this year. It really depends on how I feel with my training and recovery this next month. I might also add another 5K or two because those are always fun.

There’s no pressure for overachieve or push myself too hard, because the focus for at least the next 3-4 months is simply to heal, recover and renew. But, as long as I can still surround myself with the amazing running community and great friends — I’ll be fine.

But, with that said — September 12, 2020 … marathon #12 is happening.

Previous Revel Big Cottonwood Half Marathon Times

2013 – September 14, 2013 (2:12:37) 2017 – September 9, 2017 (3:10:21) 2018 – September 8, 2018 (2:56:46) 2019 – September 14, 2019 (3:19:12)

My Next Five Races

The Haunted Half: SLC; October 19

The Haunted 5K: Provo; October 26

Turkey 10K; November 28

Revolution Run; January 1

Sweethearts 5K; February 8

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A post shared by Trails & Pavement (@trailsandpavement) on Jan 21, 2019 at 7:46pm PST

RACE RECAP: Revel Big Cottonwood Half Marathon was originally published on Life In The Slow Lane.

[cosmosogler]

i’m not sure how to begin today. i was gonna start writing five minutes ago... but then i just kind of sat there and i’m not sure what to say. i’m so tired.

well i wrote a post here when i woke up. the dream bothered me all day though. i feel like it means something but i don’t know how to unpack it and i don’t got an individual therapist to talk about it with.

it’s so hard to condense those dreams into words, especially in 15 minutes. i dropped whole... i can’t call them “plot lines” but stuff that was important for understanding the dream in order to hurry up and get to the ending to try and summarize. 

like i left out that dad always has nightmares about sharks and alligators, and the last third of the dream (which was the only part he was in at all) was in an area of my dreams that always has a big ass shark living on the coast. i don’t know what it means. but i noticed it. i recognized the coast line while i was falling out of the sky.

and i left out most of the actual ending. which was, i discovered who was manufacturing the dimensional bombs as i traveled through forests and neighborhoods, becoming more and more disheveled. i wasn’t sure if they transported all of what they touched or just cut things off in a set radius. but i was cold. i found out where the leader was. i teleported into the airship chamber and found him in a crowded room surrounded by armed guards. i knew what would happen but i still did it. i was holding one of the bombs i’d plucked off the guns outside. i threw it at him. when it hung in the air for a second i set it on fire and exploded his whole head. the 100 guards leveled their guns at me. but i didn’t care. i woke up.

i think it was interesting that at the beginning of that part of the dream i was in a store for stuff to pamper yourself with and by the end of the dream i was shoeless and covered in dirt and rain and about to die.

it also seems to be about the first time i’ve ever killed someone easily in a dream. usually the “monster” is like, a guy with a gun or a rabid dog, and i only have my weak hands and arms and i don’t want to hurt them but i need to survive. this time i didn’t even care at all and also i could set things on fire with my mind.

anyway i got ready for school. i picked up snoopy’s cat food from the front office. my home package came later in the day but i won’t have time to retrieve it until maybe saturday. booked until then. and i don’t know how heavy it will be so i can’t just pop down and grab it in five minutes before i leave in the morning.

i felt... ill, today. not sure how to describe it. “crummy” i guess is an accurate word. the feeling didn’t go away at all over the course of the day. by the end of the day i was retching every time i coughed. keegan asked if i was ok. i said i just felt sick.

it wasn’t like a sore throat or runny nose or anything. i mean i still have coughing fits but it doesn’t feel like there’s anything to cough up. it was like my stomach was just uneasy. it was the kind of thing that was maybe supposed to stop happening after i got my gallbladder out? 

eating didn’t make me nauseous or anything but... ehh describing it in too much detail is weird. if i am reading this in the future it’s THAT feeling.

so that set the stage for everything i did today!!! 

in classical, first thing in the morning, there was a screeching noise that just... was present for the first 30 minutes of class. i was going to die. i was about ready to run out of the room and go out the front door of the building and cry. poor luis must have been tired of hearing me fidgeting and scratching out stuff in my notes and being indecisive about what color i wanted to use. 

i’m still taking notes with the four-color pen. i like it a lot but god it’s gonna be hard to read those notes because i had to scratch stuff out constantly because that noise was destroying my brain and my coordination and my ability to comprehend words and pictures. and also my patience.

half the class wasn’t there this morning. i think most, if not all, of them got out of that midterm at 10 when it ended. suzanne didn’t show up. she came for the next class and later she told me she had sat down to plink at her piano and ended up just wanting to be there for an hour. i gave her my notes even though they were messy from the distant but unceasing metal on rusted metal sound.

then we went to spaghetti day! i talked to suzanne about dreams the whole way there. she said she remembers basically every dream she has every night. it was such a, i guess, relief to meet someone who also remembers all their dreams??? it made me feel less, unique, i guess. mostly it was just REALLY nice to listen to someone else talk about how they dream about the same places over and over and remember stuff they did in previous dreams because they spent so much time remembering everything. we compared notes. 

i guess i was looking for an answer or some kind of context to put this dream in. i didn’t get that information here but i did really appreciate how open suzanne was about her dreams.

so we had spaghetti. i don’t remember what we talked about while we sat in the grass. we mostly gave the halava a running commentary when suzanne noticed they had changed up the recipe. she said they used to do that more often.

then i went to group therapy. we talked about the guy talking here next thursday. he who shall not be named. the racist guy. one interesting thing happened, besides me sharing my discomfort with how to approach the danger since i’m only tangentially affected by it. 

the interesting thing was that one member was telling a story about their experience with a very sketchy person earlier in the day. they were joking around and laughing and making a face that our therapist interpreted as “smiling.” she asked why the person was making so light of this kind of pretty scary situation.

i said “no. i’ve spent a lot of time telling jokes about bad stuff, and that’s not a smile. that’s a grimace at best.” 

the person gave me a sort of look that i’m not sure how to describe. recognition? gratitude? embarrassment? maybe all of them.

i walked back to the physics building and went straight to e&m class. i took notes!!! the professor didn’t really make any sense though. but i found out suzanne works with one of my classmates so i asked her if it would be ok for us to maybe be introduced during their next meeting tomorrow. she said that was probably a good idea.

after that i bummed around in my office and worked on the new quantum assignment (due monday because god hates us). 

i showed harrison the card crusher video. i also realized while i was being sick in the bathroom that i don’t feel very comfortable... not laughing around some of my classmates. i guess i just fell into this really easy, natural pattern of telling horrible stories about my childhood and then pretending to laugh and be not upset. it’s something i did a lot at villanova too. 

the pattern is that almost every story i tell will contort itself in such a way that, in the last sentence or two, if it wasn’t already dark it will get there at light speed.

like one doozy i told yesterday when we were talking to rebika about child labor in the united states was that “oh yeah, my mom would take me to work with her when i was about ten. she’d tell me, ‘here, put this away. do this. do this. and do this.’ and she’d do that for eight hours. this happened a lot. but she wouldn’t take me out for ice cream afterward or let me keep any of the money. she’d just take me home and beat me.”

i... want to say it’s an exaggeration? but i feel like it’s kind of not. maybe some of the words aren’t quite accurate. like the beatings had mostly stopped by the time i was 10-12... more or less? but the emotional beatings never ended.

maybe i was a little older than 10 when she did actually start taking me there and forcing me to work all day. pretty sure i was 12 at that point because i was on The Forum and i’d have pretend conversations with my internet friends in my head while listening to one of the two albums i had on my ipod and removing staples for nine hours straight.

i guess i get some sort of satisfaction from the look of utter horror on harrison and jennica’s faces. 

at 6 we had a second round of quantum. classes normally go for 50 minutes but the professor decided to keep talking for another 20 minutes after that and my brain turned to mush about 8 minutes before he finally let us go. 

poor keegan couldn’t actually see the board because we were in a lecture hall instead of the classroom. i probably should have noticed that he had really bad vision. he just... never complained/bragged about it the way suzanne or jennica do. i offered to let him see my notes tomorrow morning because about halfway through the lecture my eyes stopped working. 

they felt dry and gunky and stopped focusing which was giving me a headache. like, there was a delay where i couldn’t see between looking up at the board and looking down at my notes.

i thought that things might improve since i am taking more frequent breaks and also biking home which requires ONLY long distance vision. maybe i should pick up some eye exercises.

then i was sick one more time and then i biked home. i went TURBO FAST. all the parts where i usually get tired i flew by. i mean, i was still tired and my legs burned, but i didn’t pant as much after getting up the hill and i forced myself to keep going.

then i made the rest of the tempeh tacos for dinner because i didn’t want the leftovers to go bad and waste the beautiful experience of tempeh tacos. my onion had gotten a pink spot though and i think it’s what was making the fridge/kitchen area smell funky. i need to learn how to preserve those better. 

they were still pretty good! i made the tempeh way better this time, texture-wise, and i didn’t drown everything in lime juice, but my body was just unhappy and i thought this would cheer me up but it didn’t really.

after that it was 8:40 so i just listened to some mbmbam clips and played a logic puzzle and read some real short fanfiction. now it’s 10:54 and i’m ending my journal entry late but i guess... i don’t want to sleep honestly.

i’ve got the follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow so i’ll be talking to her for a while i think. i’ve got some notes compiled as i mentioned earlier. tomorrow i gotta teach for four hours though and i don’t know if i’m really up for that. i mean, i have to be up for it, but i don’t know if i’m really honestly up for it. which means i’ll just be tired tomorrow all day too.

something good about me. i can’t think of anything i ain’t said already. dang it. 

i think my comedic timing is pretty on point. yesterday harrison mentioned again how my sarcasm is virtually indistinguishable from my normal voice. i said something in reply... he started drawling something really obviously sarcastic and i cut him off.

“i’ve been doin this since before you were born! literally everything i say has a drop of sarcasm in it! GET! ON! MY! LEVEL!!! scrub.”

jennica died.

i’m glad someone thought it was funny. people seem to generally like my for real jokes. even the stupid puns. luis said today that “i think sammie is the only one who actually likes my nonsense” and i gave him a thumbs up. 

[alivingfire]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2016

i’m gonna try and do this thing! i was tagged by @a-writerwrites, @mediawhorefics, @afirethatcannotdie and @churchrat. 

1. List of works published this year:

Hiding Place (technically, last chapter and epilogue posted in january) Inconceivable Anonymous Said Oh Glory Been Together Since Way Back When Tumblr fics series (6 total) Day 1: So It Begins (from the 30 days of smut) True Love’s Gold Play the Odds

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

i mean. here’s the deal. hiding place is like... my everest. it’s my starry night. i put so much of myself into that damn thing, and the process of it 100% changed me, my writing style, how i view the fandom as well as the band. it will be my best accomplishment (even though there are definitely things i would go back now and change in it) until the next time i write a 365,000 word ode to two boys in love. 

but, also, researching and writing oh glory in four days was also pretty cool. 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

hmm. maybe my chapter for the 30 days of smut, just because i feel like i could’ve been more adventurous with it. i felt like -- just based on my own personal thoughts -- i sort of had a duty? as the first author to lay as much groundwork as possible for the why, and that ended up taking away from the actual sex of it all.  

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

this was actually really tough, and i just spent a good hour and a half digging for some quotes that aren’t stop-on-your-heart depressing that stuck with me after i wrote them. so here, from my least angsty fic - 

This is where Harry should be kissing someone he’s only known for a couple of hours, someone pretty with a bright smile who makes his stomach flip when their fingers touch. It could be something new too, maybe if the kiss was good Harry would ask for a date, or a phone number; maybe if the kiss wasn’t that memorable they’d stay friends. Either way, a memory made, a New Year celebrated, a firework of lips and smiles fizzing between him and someone bright, sparkling, new.

Instead, he’s kissing Louis.

Not that Louis doesn’t sparkle; Louis shines, Louis is what the moon gets its light from when the sun doesn’t want to do its job. Louis melts the frost off the world, Louis is the burnished gold of old London and the shiny silver of chrome and glass.

And it’s not that Louis isn’t new, because Louis is ever-changing; Louis is the pattern of the stars in the sky night after night, Louis is tie-dyed freedom, reckless waves against a shore, no beat of the drum the same.

It’s just that this kiss is something new but something old, too. It’s twelve years of friendship with a new sharp edge. It’s a glass mirror broken into new shapes, a mosaic of what was and what is and what will continue to change.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

okay i was looking forward to answering this part. one of my favorite people of all time, kyla @greenadidasjumper, went through and basically live-commented her thoughts on every single chapter of hiding place, usually spanning multiple comments because they were so long. i tried for a while to go through and answer her questions and reply to what she said, but i ended up just reading them over and over and forgetting to answer so now they’re just there in my inbox for whenever i’m sad 💕💕

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

i always have a tough time jumping into something new after i’ve wrapped up a project, and i think the hardest one for me was after been together since way back when. for some reason (maybe because it hit so close to home), that was the hardest fic for me to move on from, and it took a good month or so for me to even be interested in trying anything new. 

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

most of hiding place, lol. i would start a scene with no clear path and it would usually end up a lot angstier than i’d originally intended. i was also pretty surprised by how much i put into the OCs for been together, they were a lot of fun to write. 

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

well, that’s a good question, lol. i definitely think i’ve found my ~voice, so to speak, and i’m honing in on how i want to write as opposed to what i think others want from me. i’ve also discovered this year that the stuff of mine people tend to like the most are the things i speed-write, which is fascinating because those are the pieces i usually end up doubting the most; either way, i’ve definitely gotten better at churning out 20-30k in a week or so. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i’m still trying to strike that balance between narrative voice and character voice, so that’s a big thing for me (especially since my next big project will rely a lot on changing POVs). 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

ooh, well. i’m forever inspired by other authors, and anytime i find a fic that catches my attention it’s like lighting a fire, so whoknows, dolce, zarah (😞), claire, addy and lexy, @a-writerwrites, @lululawrence, cherrystreet, j, @mediawhorefics, @waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee, ellie, @thedarkestlarrie, @banana-louis, @loveloveolivia, @churchrat, @lucystarkid, @juliusschmidt, - i could go on for days, you’re all huge inspirations and i sorta love you all to bits, even if it’s from afar sometimes. also @ravenclawisak was a massive massive help during the final sprint of hiding place, and in fact you can blame her for some of the more Extreme Angst in the final chapters.  

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

it’s actually really funny, looking back, how many fandom interests leaked into the stuff i was writing when it was being discussed -- like when a new famous friend is introduced to the fandom or an old theory or famous story is brought up and discussed. like, for instance, true love’s gold would’ve been massively different if it hadn’t been for harry’s another man shoot. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

reach out to other writers. honestly, i love having a network of authors i can go to with any questions about writing or formatting or even plotting out new projects and throwing headcanons around. authors are also the biggest allies you could ask for when it comes to hyping up your stories; get you someone who’ll reblog your fic post everyday because they’re so proud of you (but you have to do the same for them!! be a good bro). 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

the angel and demon au is going to be a doozy, so that’s one for sure. once that’s finished, though, i have my sights set on basically a whole list of things that’ve been in the back of my mind for months. ALSO idk if j @paynner is ready to go public with this but let me tell you people we have Planned Some Things and it might take us years to do it but when we do it’ll rock some worlds. 😇

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

j have you done this??? you totally should so @paynner... and i’ll add my two coffee girls @coffeelouis and @coffeehazza 😘

*All answers should be about works published in 2016. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want. :)

[interiorstarweb]

Here! There! Everywhere!

OH HELLO! It’s June! How did that happen?! There’s so much going on. Let’s run it down in no particular order because my brain’s all over the place.

The gang is back together! Edwin, Edgar and I are in the midst of building a large-and-in-charge wraparound front porch on a circa-1900 house in Kingston! Perhaps I should say rebuilding, since the porch was demolished long ago. So we’re constructing a close resemblance of the original porch, based on the bits of information we have—a few photos, dimensions from old tax assessment records, and the few pieces of the original porch that remained. It’s a big huge project that’s been in the works for a couple of YEARS now, so it’s super exciting that it’s finally happening. It’s also daunting! Partially because it’s HUGE at almost 800 square feet, and partially because it’s a significant addition that will completely change the appearance of this old house and I have to make it look right and like it’s always been there! Part of my job is keeping everyone occupied and PAID, so aside from this big project I’ve also been hustling my ass around town on a bunch of smaller projects that the guys can hit when it rains, or a product order is late, or whatever. It’s kinda a lot to manage.

Let me tell you a story! Last summer, I reluctantly dove into the waters of Instagram Stories while we were working on a different house just outside of Kingston. Admittedly, I’m an extremely rare story-watcher, but evidently I’m a semi-prolific story-maker. It’s fun! It’s easy! As we know by now, as much as I like to write, I frequently struggle with actually having the time to dedicate entire blog posts to stuff that I plan to dedicate entire blog posts to while they’re happening, so Instagram Stories have been a nice alternate way to document things in real time. If you’re not following me already, first of all get your life together, and second of all go find me @DanielKanter. Then just keep an eye out for new posts, I guess! I try to archive the more relevant bits into the Highlights feature at the top of my profile, if you need to catch up a little on the aforementioned porch project.

What’s that you say? A different house outside of Kingston? Yeah! I guess if you don’t follow me on Instagram, you wouldn’t have a way of knowing about the cool quirky old farmhouse the guys and I renovated last summer/fall/winter! Honestly it was another doozy—not quite Olivebridge proportions, but still managed to go from a couple changes and a bunch of sprucing up to a top-to-bottom overhaul of…everything? 2 bathrooms! Kitchen! Laundry! All the rooms! The whole outside! Mechanicals! The bulk of the work ended in February but I just did a final install last week. I have to go back and photograph it but it’s nice to have this 8-week-turned-8-month project off my plate a bit.

Speaking of Olivebridge. If you read even one of those tumultuous posts about the Olivebridge house, I owe you some resolution. We don’t have to get into all the mostly-stupid reasons that hasn’t yet come to pass, but I haven’t forgotten. Honestly the fact that I haven’t blogged about it makes me feel like the book is still open on that project—in spite of the house’s successful completion!—and that feeling sucks so it’s high time to get my shit together on that front. MAYBE IT COULD ACTUALLY BE FUN! At the very least I think it will really and truly feel finished in terms of big life events I’d never want to repeat. Ha!

5 years! So I didn’t even think about it until the day after, but Friday marked the five year anniversary of owning my house! What a journey we’ve been on, this house and I. I still love it. I’m still overwhelmed by it. There are still parts of it I haven’t tackled and a lot of other parts in some stage of progress, but (knock on ALL the wood) I think the worst of the renovation is pretty much over and that feels GOOD. The past 2 years or so were particularly rocky, but it’s finally started to feel like a real home again—my home—and I’m more grateful than ever that I get to call this special house mine.

Laundry! Kitchen! Anticipating that this summer would be exactly as crazy as it’s shaping up to be, I set some concrete goals for myself and my renovation for the first four months of the year. We can talk about this more later, but experience is a valuable thing—and it’s taught me that working on multiple major renovation projects at different properties at the same time is a recipe for inefficiency and frazzled-ness and general misery, but I also obviously can’t just work on my own house all the time. So, I try to give myself a little time between client projects to re-focus on my own stuff and get as much done as I can. May 1st became the goal for having a functioning laundry room, a functioning kitchen, and doing some MAJOR clean-up and space-reclamation everywhere else once the first two items were accomplished and there’d be a bit more room to spread out. I DID IT! Having laundry again is amazing and having it on the second floor lights up my life. The kitchen is FAR from complete, but IT HAS WALLS and electric and plumbing—enough to hook up a sink, move in a few of my old cabinets, and start using the space again AS A KITCHEN for the first time in almost 2 years. And now that my dining room isn’t also a kitchen, and my living room isn’t also an enormous glorified dog kennel, I spent a weekend just rearranging my own shit for hours and now those two rooms look and feel so much better than they have in a LONG TIME. I even had two friends over for dinner! Like I said—still a ton to do, but getting to this point of basic usability feels huge.

So interior progress at my house will slow, but hopefully exterior work will continue. There’s a lot to do on the outside of my house—between gardening on the street-facing sides (and just maintaining what I have!), finally putting the finishing touches on the major exterior work that started last summer and the one before, and trying to get SOMETHING good going on in the backyard, I hope I can bang it out in my “free time” before fall/winter hits again. I’ve already decided that this summer I’m going to skip tearing off more vinyl siding in favor of just polishing off what’s already started—I can’t stand all the loose ends out there right now.

I have a major itch to landscape. Or hardscape maybe, more specifically? Getting the backyard just to square one was so labor-intensive and expensive that gathering the motivation (or setting aside the time, with the house itself needing so much attention!) to do much else with it has been tough. I’ve done two things that helped get my ass in gear, though: first, I asked a friend with a great garden to help me prioritize and plan and make a few decisions. FRIENDS! THEY’RE SO HELPFUL! Second, the Brinson’s invited me last minute to the Trade Secrets garden show in Connecticut, where we toured 3 amazing gardens including living legend Bunny Williams’ property, which I really just need to do a photo-dump kind of blog post about because it was so insanely good. Going to see this stuff IN MY CLIMATE (“omg, I can actually grow that too!!!”) was really valuable and the whole thing was for-real inspiring. Like I literally got home and began construction on a dry-stacked bluestone wall because I just had to get my inspo-overload ya-yas out somehow.

But don’t get carried away about my house, because there’s still Bluestone Cottage. I feel I owe a longer explanation about this than I want to get into right this instant, but long and short of it is—I MUST finish that house. Personally, professionally, emotionally, physically, financially—it needs to happen. I think I successfully enlisted an electrician last week, and the plumber has finally (sort of) reemerged after beginning the rough-in a YEAR ago, and my own living situation is finally back out of complete shambles, and life will go on and the house will get done and then I can stop feeling shitty about bad decisions I made when I was younger and dumber. Well, at least one of them.

Mekko is the best dog. We’ve also been dealing with some health stuff over the past few months, requiring visits to vet offices in 3 different states and a whole lotta money. It’s certainly not good but seems to be surmountable (yay!), and it’s been stressful and expensive and basically I’m trying to not freak out. I lost one dog 7 months ago. I refuse to entertain that this could resolve any way other than completely fine and she’ll go on to be the longest-living dog on record and then I’ll clone her. So anyway. That’s been awful, no lie, but could be way worse. Surgery, again, this Friday. Sigh.

I’ve bought some stuff. You know, since the last time I showed you some stuff I bought. I like pretty old stuff.

So that’s basically what’s up in my little corner of the world. What’s up in your little corner of the world? Do we want to hear about any of the above items in particular more than others? Watched any good TV lately?

Here! There! Everywhere! published first on https://novaformmattressreview.tumblr.com/

[carygarman980]

Here! There! Everywhere!

OH HELLO! It’s June! How did that happen?! There’s so much going on. Let’s run it down in no particular order because my brain’s all over the place.

The gang is back together! Edwin, Edgar and I are in the midst of building a large-and-in-charge wraparound front porch on a circa-1900 house in Kingston! Perhaps I should say rebuilding, since the porch was demolished long ago. So we’re constructing a close resemblance of the original porch, based on the bits of information we have—a few photos, dimensions from old tax assessment records, and the few pieces of the original porch that remained. It’s a big huge project that’s been in the works for a couple of YEARS now, so it’s super exciting that it’s finally happening. It’s also daunting! Partially because it’s HUGE at almost 800 square feet, and partially because it’s a significant addition that will completely change the appearance of this old house and I have to make it look right and like it’s always been there! Part of my job is keeping everyone occupied and PAID, so aside from this big project I’ve also been hustling my ass around town on a bunch of smaller projects that the guys can hit when it rains, or a product order is late, or whatever. It’s kinda a lot to manage.

Let me tell you a story! Last summer, I reluctantly dove into the waters of Instagram Stories while we were working on a different house just outside of Kingston. Admittedly, I’m an extremely rare story-watcher, but evidently I’m a semi-prolific story-maker. It’s fun! It’s easy! As we know by now, as much as I like to write, I frequently struggle with actually having the time to dedicate entire blog posts to stuff that I plan to dedicate entire blog posts to while they’re happening, so Instagram Stories have been a nice alternate way to document things in real time. If you’re not following me already, first of all get your life together, and second of all go find me @DanielKanter. Then just keep an eye out for new posts, I guess! I try to archive the more relevant bits into the Highlights feature at the top of my profile, if you need to catch up a little on the aforementioned porch project.

What’s that you say? A different house outside of Kingston? Yeah! I guess if you don’t follow me on Instagram, you wouldn’t have a way of knowing about the cool quirky old farmhouse the guys and I renovated last summer/fall/winter! Honestly it was another doozy—not quite Olivebridge proportions, but still managed to go from a couple changes and a bunch of sprucing up to a top-to-bottom overhaul of…everything? 2 bathrooms! Kitchen! Laundry! All the rooms! The whole outside! Mechanicals! The bulk of the work ended in February but I just did a final install last week. I have to go back and photograph it but it’s nice to have this 8-week-turned-8-month project off my plate a bit.

Speaking of Olivebridge. If you read even one of those tumultuous posts about the Olivebridge house, I owe you some resolution. We don’t have to get into all the mostly-stupid reasons that hasn’t yet come to pass, but I haven’t forgotten. Honestly the fact that I haven’t blogged about it makes me feel like the book is still open on that project—in spite of the house’s successful completion!—and that feeling sucks so it’s high time to get my shit together on that front. MAYBE IT COULD ACTUALLY BE FUN! At the very least I think it will really and truly feel finished in terms of big life events I’d never want to repeat. Ha!

5 years! So I didn’t even think about it until the day after, but Friday marked the five year anniversary of owning my house! What a journey we’ve been on, this house and I. I still love it. I’m still overwhelmed by it. There are still parts of it I haven’t tackled and a lot of other parts in some stage of progress, but (knock on ALL the wood) I think the worst of the renovation is pretty much over and that feels GOOD. The past 2 years or so were particularly rocky, but it’s finally started to feel like a real home again—my home—and I’m more grateful than ever that I get to call this special house mine.

Laundry! Kitchen! Anticipating that this summer would be exactly as crazy as it’s shaping up to be, I set some concrete goals for myself and my renovation for the first four months of the year. We can talk about this more later, but experience is a valuable thing—and it’s taught me that working on multiple major renovation projects at different properties at the same time is a recipe for inefficiency and frazzled-ness and general misery, but I also obviously can’t just work on my own house all the time. So, I try to give myself a little time between client projects to re-focus on my own stuff and get as much done as I can. May 1st became the goal for having a functioning laundry room, a functioning kitchen, and doing some MAJOR clean-up and space-reclamation everywhere else once the first two items were accomplished and there’d be a bit more room to spread out. I DID IT! Having laundry again is amazing and having it on the second floor lights up my life. The kitchen is FAR from complete, but IT HAS WALLS and electric and plumbing—enough to hook up a sink, move in a few of my old cabinets, and start using the space again AS A KITCHEN for the first time in almost 2 years. And now that my dining room isn’t also a kitchen, and my living room isn’t also an enormous glorified dog kennel, I spent a weekend just rearranging my own shit for hours and now those two rooms look and feel so much better than they have in a LONG TIME. I even had two friends over for dinner! Like I said—still a ton to do, but getting to this point of basic usability feels huge.

So interior progress at my house will slow, but hopefully exterior work will continue. There’s a lot to do on the outside of my house—between gardening on the street-facing sides (and just maintaining what I have!), finally putting the finishing touches on the major exterior work that started last summer and the one before, and trying to get SOMETHING good going on in the backyard, I hope I can bang it out in my “free time” before fall/winter hits again. I’ve already decided that this summer I’m going to skip tearing off more vinyl siding in favor of just polishing off what’s already started—I can’t stand all the loose ends out there right now.

I have a major itch to landscape. Or hardscape maybe, more specifically? Getting the backyard just to square one was so labor-intensive and expensive that gathering the motivation (or setting aside the time, with the house itself needing so much attention!) to do much else with it has been tough. I’ve done two things that helped get my ass in gear, though: first, I asked a friend with a great garden to help me prioritize and plan and make a few decisions. FRIENDS! THEY’RE SO HELPFUL! Second, the Brinson’s invited me last minute to the Trade Secrets garden show in Connecticut, where we toured 3 amazing gardens including living legend Bunny Williams’ property, which I really just need to do a photo-dump kind of blog post about because it was so insanely good. Going to see this stuff IN MY CLIMATE (“omg, I can actually grow that too!!!”) was really valuable and the whole thing was for-real inspiring. Like I literally got home and began construction on a dry-stacked bluestone wall because I just had to get my inspo-overload ya-yas out somehow.

But don’t get carried away about my house, because there’s still Bluestone Cottage. I feel I owe a longer explanation about this than I want to get into right this instant, but long and short of it is—I MUST finish that house. Personally, professionally, emotionally, physically, financially—it needs to happen. I think I successfully enlisted an electrician last week, and the plumber has finally (sort of) reemerged after beginning the rough-in a YEAR ago, and my own living situation is finally back out of complete shambles, and life will go on and the house will get done and then I can stop feeling shitty about bad decisions I made when I was younger and dumber. Well, at least one of them.

Mekko is the best dog. We’ve also been dealing with some health stuff over the past few months, requiring visits to vet offices in 3 different states and a whole lotta money. It’s certainly not good but seems to be surmountable (yay!), and it’s been stressful and expensive and basically I’m trying to not freak out. I lost one dog 7 months ago. I refuse to entertain that this could resolve any way other than completely fine and she’ll go on to be the longest-living dog on record and then I’ll clone her. So anyway. That’s been awful, no lie, but could be way worse. Surgery, again, this Friday. Sigh.

I’ve bought some stuff. You know, since the last time I showed you some stuff I bought. I like pretty old stuff.

So that’s basically what’s up in my little corner of the world. What’s up in your little corner of the world? Do we want to hear about any of the above items in particular more than others? Watched any good TV lately?

[danny321]

Web Hosting -- Helpful information for starters

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Shared enviroment is really a portion of computer space and also data transfer useage presented to a person by the web hosting organization with a high-powered host. There are lots of other sites managed for this hosting server, as well as the hosting company is likely to possess quite a few of the machines in a big files centre. The means of the host are usually contributed simply by as much other internet sites as are allocated to which computer. Discussed web hosting is the better kind of web hosting if you are searching to get a great price and convey more than the usual several thousand every day visitors to your website. Channel partner Web Hosting Reseller web hosting is a well-liked, low-cost treatment for starting your very own web hosting company. There are two types of web host reseller, private-label and a channel partner of services. The particular private-label is the foremost kind of reseller plan as it lets you keep entire treatments for your current buyer's websites. The private-label prepare allows the supplier to maintain the entire monthly payment with the web-hosting consumer, nevertheless the reseller must pay a month-to-month price to the greater host to the channel partner space. The greater internet hosting company accounts the private-label reseller can market, the greater the profit for the children. Private-label web hosting service permits you to number a lot more sites compared to should you be making use of shared enviroment for each. This is a great remedy for someone who has several internet sites they should number area to spend less. The particular channel partner associated with services programs resell the standard web hosting programs of a bigger web hosting company, however you get a discounted price pertaining to offering the client and earn a monthly price as long as they remain a person. Your plan does not let treatments for consumer websites and also you simply have a very part of the possibly month to month revenue. Dedicated Web Hosting Devoted web hosting is the most highly effective and cost efficient option involving web hosting service a busy website without resorting to purchasing your personal gear and also paying out large sums of money each month for a fast Internet connection. Committed internet hosting contains one hosting server with no body else web hosting with that laptop or computer. This allows for top level regarding setup alternatives. Individuals who have a busy internet site will find devoted internet hosting is the essential selection. Web Hosting Concerns Thinking about other information indexed by web hosting plans? On this area, Let me make clear the most important considerations in picking a good webhost. Price The price tag on web hosting services is among the most significant. There are numerous contains available using low cost hosting bundles, nonetheless they could possibly be without the areas. Don't let the cost of a web hosting service bundle deceive you. There are a few hosting companies out there who've the best prices and the other capabilities are just pretty much as good. Price tag is usually the key judgements of an web hosting plan, there is however considerably more to take into consideration in picking a top quality webhost. Hard drive Place And Space for storage Hard drive area could be the volume of bodily space for storing a web sponsor provides to you to save internet information. Website hosts these days have plans together with disk space staying measured mainly regarding gigabytes, but some are still offering programs inside the megabytes regarding space for storage. Based on your preferences with regard to file space for storing, you may want about. Normally the more computer place supplied, the better. Data transfer useage / Data transfer useage The volume of bandwidth available can make a huge difference in picking a top quality web hosting service program. Generally speaking, the harder bandwidth a host offers to you, better. This means you can support increased traffic in your website as your business grows. Be suspicious regarding web hosting companies which provide limitless or even unmetered data transfer. While many of the are legitimate gives, there are many on the market who will be overselling their own bandwidth hoping the typical user is not going to make use of a lot. Customer Support In different company, it is vital to provide exemption customer satisfaction. Web hosting isn't any exception to this. Most of the contains can be purchased throughout the day along with nighttime for those who have an issue with your web site, however there are a few who are merely accessible distinct hrs during the day. Should your website falls in the heart of the night if they are out of stock, this implies misplaced revenue for any business. Factors to consider the internet host you end up picking is definitely intended for assistance. Money Back Guarantee The majority of web hosting companies supply a thirty-day money-back guarantee. Many will present one particular perhaps lengthy, yet be skeptical with the versions who provide no money back guarantee. Take part in buy web hosting services from a organization would you not offer a minimum of a 30 day guarantee, except if they've verified themselves to be a innovator in the industry and possess a fantastic popularity. Os An operating system is a bit of computer software that will settings the actual connection relating to the personal computer consumer and the actual equipment with the appliance. A huge most of all internet sites on the Internet operate on the actual Linux operation technique. Linux is generally considerably more secure compared to Glass windows. Balance is critical within owning a web site. Because of this, I enjoy to host my websites about the Linux main system. Some internet sites possess certain requirements that only your Windows os satisfies, nevertheless there will always be choices to these requirements. Backup A great web hosting organization have a standard timetable for you to back-up the information upon all the net servers. The more often the data will be duplicated, the better. At least, a web hosting business ought to copy site data files day-to-day. User interface Your cpanel is the reason for get in touch with your website manager will have involving the web server along with their individual equipment linked over the internet. You must have a very well-organized and simple to work with cpanel program. The best user interface is actually control panel, that's one of the leading web hosting control sections available these days. Plesk is an additional doozy, and many companies will produce their unique user interface for you to use. Nearly all web hosting companies will supply a url to any demonstration in the control panel they'll use using web hosting plans. The actual cp utilised is a couple of choice, nevertheless it should be easy to use. E-mail Electronic mail is essential section of communication on the net. Most web hosting firms available gives you more e-mail addresses plus much more space to support email messages than you will ever before will need. What you need to look out for will be the firms that decided becoming a little rigid on his or her email accounts and only give you a few or perhaps a tiny amount of message space. Uptime Up time is a expression used to describe how often the normal internet site located by the company is available online. No company to expect to supply an exact 100% up-time. This can be impossible because of things like computer hardware, computer software, and energy downfalls. An enormous majority of the information mill great with up-time, and they also guarantee this. It is best if you take heed to the actual uptimes posted with the business. If not no less than Ninety nine.5%, it is probably not worth hosting with that organization. Figures As a webmaster, it is nice to know the number of site visitors you've had, wherever these people came from, just how long that they remain on your web site, and just how considerably bandwidth they've got utilised. This post is obtained through the web server and it is put in any firewood record. A new figures software program can read this info and offer meaningful info for the website owner. The info accumulated from these logs can be be extremely useful for improved upon services on the audiences from the internet site. File transfer protocol FTP is short for document move standard protocol. It is just a method of swiftly adding or perhaps installing a lot of files back and forth from an internet machine. Most web hosting companies will let the clientele use of their web hosting records through FTP. File transfer protocol is incredibly helpful and it is a great feature to have when investing in the web hosting accounts. Scripting Since Net started, many scripting 'languages' have already been developed and have turned out to be the energetic as well as fun surroundings we love to right now. A new scripting language can be a means of including performance with a web site, whether it be to compute numbers or fill data from an outside database. Scripting dialects have made electric trade probable. A few of these different languages contain PHP, ASP, JSP, Coldfusion, VBscript, Javascript, as well as Perl. I cannot enter the information on these in the following paragraphs in the interests of difficulty. If you know using these kinds of different languages, you need to know what to look for within a server for the children. Databases A new databases can be a place to store info which you can use in the huge number of techniques. Sources are used on the web regarding apps for example shopping trolleys, discussion boards, as well as merchandise brochures. The harder listings the web hosting supplier allows you to develop, the most applications you can set up in your server. Databases are employed from the heightened web master, however info is openly online if you're serious. A conclusion Web hosting may be an extremely tough determination with the thousands associated with website hosts around. It is important to find a program which fits your requirements and to get a good hosting company. I really hope this post was useful in making your choice regarding which company to host along with. Pleased Web hosting! Check out خرید هاست ایران to understand more details on