#i think he also has daddy issues but to a lesser extent

[yardofangels]

Hi Iris! I just wanted to ask if you had any general head canons about König (your AU or just in general) that you’d want to share? Anything about his upbringing, love language, unhealed trauma ect. that you’d want to divulge? Also I absolutely love your writing. The way you write König is definitely one of my fav interpretations of his character.

OMGGGGGG IVE BEEN W A I T I N G FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO EXCITED YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND OSPDHVWEVNJWEGOH

thank you sm for your words!! im so flattered <333

for this one its going to be headcanons for my AU of könig. hope you enjoy!!

tw for implied verbal and emotional abuse, bullying, negative self-talk, mentions of locker-room talk, violence, and implied manipulation below the cut!!

könig's flaws and love language have a lot to do with his upbringing. don't get me wrong, it wasn't like what he'd heard of ghost's upbringing. könig had adequate food and shelter, and his parents never blatantly mistreated him. he was never kicked, or hit, never had things thrown at him; nothing was ever wildly hurtful.

but what he had suffered built up over the course of 17 years and had impacts that lasted much longer. shit that he's still trying (not) to work through today. shit that stayed deep within his psyche, that he came back to every time he failed and shit that whispered down his neck, telling him to push himself further.

from the outside looking in, he came from an entirely normal family. his mama and papa loved each other. they went to church every sunday, and beamed when people complimented how tall their boy was getting. könig was spoiled because he was an only child and never had to share the attention. he excelled greatly in the subjects of mathematics and science from the time he was 8 and received recognition for this at school.

but the outside never gets to see how bad you're hurting, does it?

he'll never forget the way his mother straightened his collar, scolding him centimetres away from his face, reminding him that if he gets anything less than a 19/20 on the upcoming test, he'll have no hope of being anything to them.

he still can't seem to shake the look on his father's face when his mother ranted and raved about how könig had tarnished their entire reputation by questioning the teacher's authority, how he was a disgraceful and humiliating child. the way his papa's bushy eyebrows pinched, and he ran a hand over his buzzed hair. the look that screamed 'if i say anything, she'll attack me too.'

none of it was loud. everything his mama ever did to him was only ever alluding to him being the worst thing she had ever done. it was the words, the mind games, and the inability to fight back. he was trapped as a youth. trapped in a household that yelled 'i love you', and whispered 'but only when you are my projection of what you should be.'

of course, it didn't stop there, either. he was torn into relentlessly at school, too. it was much like his home life, except with the added bonus of being thrown into trees and having his face dunked under sinks for extended periods of time.

y'know, typical kid stuff.

they grabbed at anything they could with him. his love of space, his braces (that never really did much to help his teeth in the end), his height, his size, his stutter. all of it. anything that indicated that he was different to the rest of the population was like a big, red target on his back.

what they did at school further cemented in his brain what he learnt at home.

you are worth nothing. you contribute nothing. you are nothing. all you are is an outsider. all you can be is an outsider. you are not attractive. you are not talented. you offer nothing. you are nothing.

this treatment from ages 0-17 is what led to his deeper flaws emerging from 17-25. his frequently infrequent contact with his mother and father, his tendency to distance himself from the other cadets, his daydreams of violence.

he didn't like crying. it sent memories of sobbing in the PE closet and into his pillow flooding back. he preferred to push it down, ignore it, and forget it happened. he would much rather be the first one out at target practice.

he still stuttered. so, he stopped talking. he resorted to closing his mouth, to wearing a bandana, to wearing a balaclava, to wearing his t-shirt. he liked fading into the background, even though his build wouldn't ever really allow it. he hated socialising. at first it was because it made him so nervous (it still does, but he won't admit that). he couldn't find the right words to make himself likable. after a while, he came to resent it. why was everyone else able to pick it up with such ease, but not him? where was the fairness in that? he eventually stopped seeing much point in speaking up more than necessary.

and girls never took interest in him during high school, so he didn't expect them to now. he was never upset with the women, he wouldn't blame them if they wanted nothing to do with him. it was his fellow cadets that drove him insane. talking of a new bird every day, objectifying them, degrading them. part of him wanted to join in; share this bond they seemingly had, talk about his own girl he used up. they made it sound so good. but a bigger part of him was wildly jealous and horrifyingly enraged at what they could say at times. it filled him with a fire that he couldn't quite understand.

this didn't stop him from a go on the local barrack bunny here and there. just to prove to himself that he wasn't entirely devoid of feeling.

he couldn't really pinpoint when the violence arose in him. it just. appeared to him one day. he realised while standing over another limp body that he'd killed someone and enjoyed it. that he'd taken their power away, just like his mother had done to him. his mother who had now disowned him for staying in the army for so long. his mother he wanted to destroy. his mother whom he could never destroy, so he destroys others instead.

eventually, he started pushing the limits everywhere he went. the more settled he got in himself as a man, the more he acted out. this is what landed him in jail. his rash decisions, his anger, his lack of all other emotion. it was eating away at him behind those bars, and he itched to take it further.

that itch only got stronger when he met you. you, who he now had to protect. you, who he saw meaning in. you, who saved him from being consumed by his darkness.

könig doesn't love in a particularly healthy way. i mean, i think that isn't too surprising given what he went through and subsequently put himself through. he loves possessively, he loves obsessively, he loves as if there is nothing else in the world but you and him.

to him, love has no definition. it has no 'right and wrong' other than hurting the person you love. if he has to hide something from you, it's because he doesn't want to lose you. if he has to use his words to twist your mind, it's so you never lose sight of him. if he has to protect you from the world, by any means necessary, it's worth it. if it's you, it's worth it.

he sees no problem in doing morally grey, or even impure things if it means you stay with him. after all, he loves you. you wouldn't deny him, would you? don't you love him too?

he knows it'll never get to the stage where you question him, though. he can see you are wholly dedicated to him. it's only more fuel to him being able to do what he wants to you. he knows if you were aware, you'd like it.

in terms of love languages, könig's biggest is physical touch. he just loves that skin-to-skin contact with you. he loves how much bigger he is compared to you, he loves wrapping himself around you, to the point where it almost looks like you two are one entity. you're just so soft and warm; he can't ever get enough of, in some way, having your skin on his.

aside from that, you'll often find that he shows his love in acts of service. anything from sweeping the kitchen to building a house, if he can serve you or protect you, he'll do it. he's unsure where this tendency came from in him. he just enjoys keeping busy.

he particularly appreciates words of affirmation from you. something he never really received growing up. he would never ask you to praise him, never even admit that he likes it. but when you slip the occasional 'you're so good to me, baby' or 'this is wonderful, you did amazing', he melts. he's a sucker for being told he's good enough, or that he did well.

könig sure as hell isn't perfect, but he's working on being better for you. he's doing what he can to make sure you never see the vulnerable child in him. the wrathful teenager. the uncaring man. he wants you to have the best of him.

and you do, because you bring it out in him naturally.

-------

yeah!! that's it!!! i tried desperately to not talk to much but there's just so much to say. so many things that this post could lead to.

thank you so much for reading this far!! pls reblog if you like it, and send in more requests!! it makes my day!!!

[titansarmy]

bianca di angelo really projected HER fatal flaw on her brother and we all just accepted it. 

[darkmasterofcupcakes]

Would Angel Dust be inconsiderate enough to do jokes like how Charlie met the in-laws earlier than intended?

Also, if angel learn Vaggie's parents' nicknames are Dickmaster and Danger tits, what nickname would he find for vaggie?

And it's fun to think of how Emily, Vaggie and Charlie are all in a "mommy issue" situation, though yes Sera technically only is Emily's sister.

Lucifer must have been so relieved to be out of the "shitty angel parent" (again counting Sera as parent) category before learning that his daughter's girlfriend is the daughter of Adam and Lute.

Also, I feel like Alastor definitely would be petty enough to do "below the belt" hits by bringing up Adam and Lute when vaggie annoy him.

That is until Charlie remind him that she can fuck him up, and will do it if he make her girlfriend cry by bringing her mommy issues (and to a far lesser extent, but still present daddy issues).

I feel like by the time Vaggie opens up about who her parents - or at least her mother - is, Angel would have improved enough as a person that he wouldn't make jokes about it. Now, in an alternate scenario where Vaggie told Charlie the truth before the events of the Pilot...he absolutely would make digs at her about it. Before really getting serious about redemption, Angel was...kind of a major asshole, let's be real.

As for the nickname thing, I don't think he'd be able to resist making a reference to what her name sounds like, especially when he learns that her name is "supposed" to be said with soft G's, not hard ones, making the joke all the easier to make, especially for someone like him.

Charlie and Vaggie just have parental issues in general, while Emily really just has "mommy" issues, since while Sera is technically her older sister, I do get the vibe that it's basically one of those situations where one sibling is much older and basically acts more like a parent than a sibling. But that is something they'd be able to bond over for sure.

Lucifer has no idea how to actually act upon learning Vaggie is Lute (and very likely Adam's) daughter, at least at first. He tries to just be friendly and have fun, including revealing that he was present when she was born. "You know, I thought you looked familiar when Charlie introduced us? I mean, obviously you were a lot fucking smaller and a lot more bloody back then, but I'm really great at remembering a face...especially on a day like that." And it is so awkward but he's trying and he is still both the King of Hell and her girlfriend's dad, so Vaggie doesn't really tell him to stop talking.

I feel like Vaggie would have to really anger Alastor for him to reach that level of petty but when he did, especially if Vaggie let it show that it bothered her, Charlie would absolutely at the very least giving him a verbal beatdown for it.

That being said, if Vaggie did ever reveal that she was pretty much certain Adam was her father, I have no doubt someone would question if the daddy issues she does have are more from the fact that her dad was an absolute deadbeat who basically ignored that she existed her whole childhood...or the fact that the person who fathered her was probably the biggest dick in the universe.

[thorniest-rose]

inspired by you recently talking about how you're into steve-centric ships – which steve ships are you into (including any uncommon steve ships, if you have any)? and out of all of them, which would be your endgame ship for steve?

yes!! Steve is my favourite character and best boy, and I can only fixate on ships involving him. Like it never computes with me when I see Eddie with anyone else for example, though I think hellcheer is cute.

So my favourite Steve-centric ship will always be Steddie, they have my heart, but I also love the chemistry between Steve and Billy, and the heated dynamic they have in season two, like I love enemies to lovers and I think Steve and Billy do that so well.

Then I also love Steve and Tommy together because I love the pining and complicated feelings between two best friends who are trying to hide it. Like in my head, Eddie wasn't Steve's bi awakening. I think Steve had been attracted to other boys from a young age, and that he felt desire for both Tommy and Billy before Eddie came into the picture. And to a lesser extent, I love ships like Jason and Steve, too, because I think the jock on jock angle of it is hot. I just love the idea of Steve being an object of desire and obsession for all the men in his life!

Oh my god, and actually I love Steve and Hopper too, I love the idea of Hopper being attracted to this boy who's young enough to be his son and trying to repress it, but struggling whenever he's around him. And Steve has such Daddy issues, I can imagine him pursuing Hopper and trying his hardest to make him break.

So yes!! In my head all the boys want Steve and I think he deserves to be loved and fucked by all of them xo

[angel-of-hunky-doryness]

The Conflicts of Disney's Hercules (Part 2): Hercules vs Hades

Or as I like to call it: why Hercules and Hades are the best example of a literary foil muddled and lost in its own movie.

LONG POST, sorry not sorry.

The hero vs villain dynamic is a Disney staple inspired by the many fairy tales and folklore from which Disney has long based their movies on. However, this dynamic went through a glow-up when Disney started their Renaissance period kicking off with The Little Mermaid (1989).

This era of Disney brought in much more personality and character to their protagonists, but also bringing in a new type of villain. Now this was a sharp departure from your atypical evil stepmothers and wicked villainesses that Disney was known from in their early days.

That's why when Disney decided to adapt Hercules (1997) the writers needed a formidable foe for Hercules to throws hands with to fit in to this new era where you had the likes of Ariel vs Ursula, Aladdin vs Jafar, Simba vs Scar, etc.

And in the Renaissance, Disney started leaning more into their Shakespearean influences. Nowhere is this more evident then Lion King (1994) and to a lesser extent- based on deleted scenes, the broadway version, and live action remake- Little Mermaid.

The reason I'm bringing this up is b/c, my dear reader, now we're getting to the Evil Uncle Trope.

Or at least a failed execution of it, b/c Disney did not utilize it well in Hercules. It's just barely touched upon.

Yes, yes, I know who the real villain is in the original myth of Herakles and that could be a reason it doesn't work. But Herakles vs Hera doesn't work well on paper when you remember that Herk was the affair baby and Hera is actively trying to smite him and this is a film meant for children. And something, something, she doesn't carry the kind of raw emo goth energy a walking-talking Bunsen burner can provide.

Jokes aside and the accuracy of the Greek Mythology presented, I think Disney Hercules was adapted well to a modern audience.

HOWEVER!

Now I've made it no secret in the past that I don't really view this hero/villain pair as the central conflict of Disney's Hercules.

That is mostly because whatever antagonism Hades and Hercules had going on it's very one-sided, and almost surface-level. Hades is over here having the biggest blow to his ego with a little bit of existential crisis thrown in for good measure.

While Hercules is absolutely vibing to the Muses singing the greatest mind-melting musical number of the film.

Not once do we get a character moment where this corn-fed farm boy ever stops to think, "Hey, Phil, I know Thebes is a bad place and all, but where do these mildly inconveniencing monsters keep coming from?"

In all two of his interactions with Hades(I'm not counting the opening scene, Hercules is a baby, fight me), Hercules never realizes in the entire movie how he was wronged by this tall glass of daddy issues.

Which are:

Flambe man kidnapped Baby

Lil sun spot is mortal now for plot relevance or smth

Attempted murder via the goon squad

Monsters keep coming out of nowhere after Herc saves the sassy lady from the Centaur(TM).

And Hades, to his credit, really doesn't care enough to tell him.

Why?

Because it literally never bothered Hercules. Hades is the obligatory monster of the week to Wonder breath. That kind of revelation wouldn't bother him, Hercules doesn't even know there's a prophecy about him. Hecc, home boy barely struggles with the Titans at the climax.

This is basically the Wanda-Thanos meme but the roles are reversed.

And I would like to emphasize, Hercules isn't bothered by the monsters Hades sends at all. He gets over it fairly quickly once he gets over his first battle jitters. If anything, the biggest issue Hercules is facing post-Hydra is that even though society has finally embraced him for his strength, he's still extremely lonely.

Which leads to this pivotal moment in the film:

What is the point?

He's still a freak, but this time after years of training he's finally useful. My pal Rudolph the Red-nose reindeer understands this predicament rather well. And the loneliness that Hercules feels b/c of his superhuman abilities is such a fascinating angle the writers of Disney Hercules go with that isn't emphasized enough.

And I can't stress this enough: The internal war Hercules grapples with, of being caught between two worlds, struggling with something he was born with and of doing everything in his power to fit into both of these worlds? Now that makes for a compelling demigod.

What's more, the strange shift in how society view his strength is such a interesting element that could have made a better antagonist than Hades was and I bet if this movie was made in this new era of Disney films (2015-Present) it would've executed it with this premise in mind. Since Disney has moved away from mustache-twirling villains and focusing on things like generational trauma and internal issues.

The fear and scorn Hercules once felt is now being turned to adoration, but wait, that's not what he wanted!

He just wanted to be treated like a person.

Take the discus scene, Hercules tries to play frisbee with the other teens in his neighborhood, but he immediately gets told to buzz off.

His goal of reaching Olympus isn't to reunite with his real family it's to finally be around others who are just as powerful as him, somewhere he wouldn't be out of place.

And the funny part about all of this is how well it ties in to Hades. Because Hercules upholding his duty as a hero is essentially what Hades did in his respective career until the moment he had his very own What's the point? moment.

Now first and foremost, I'm here to say Hades did his job. Regardless of how respectfully he did that in his later years....

No zombie apocalypses as far as I can tell, so kudos to you babe.

And that kind of job isolated him pretty badly when you consider Hades is with the dead instead of the other gods, almost making Hercules' dream the same as Hades'. However that dream has long since distorted and twisted from centuries of bitterness and anger.

Which adds another layer to their similarities. The dedication they had for their jobs isolated them even further.

And funnily enough, Hades and Herc were both assigned to this task by Zeus.

Now that we've established how similar H&H are let's see if we can glean how it played out for Hades by looking at Hercules' beginning. Hercules started out with so much determination and hope as can be seen in I Can Go the Distance (reprise). And as we follow Hercules to seek a teacher, to undergo years of training, and to follow through with all that he had been taught, Hercules never lost hope that he would finally be with people like him.

Well that is until Hercules' talk with Zeus.

And we learn Hercules has been putting himself through tons of risks and labors for nothing...?

He could've accomplished being a true hero back in his old farm town, and before you argue Zeus never explicitly told him to walk the path of a hero- then why did he send him to Danny DeVito???

And I'd like to make it clear I adore that Herc is being told off by his dad. Being Superman in Metropolis can go to one's head at his age especially now that he has proven time and time again how useful his strength is. Hubris is a major character flaw associated with greek mythology even if it isn't the flaw Herakles has in myth, keep this in mind for later as I explain what his flaw really is and how we see instances of it in the Disney film.

With that kind of journey mapped out, I bet about two drachmas and my 4 pound sponsor that Hades did the same as Herc. And as a result invested too much in his job for him to realize that he became disconnected to Olympus as a result.

Yeah, okay this is more conjecture and veering into fanfiction territory here and since I've been writing a fanfic on this guy for the past 6 years I tend to do that w/o meaning to. So if I ever start being a little too sympathetic on Mr. Brimstone Breath over there, take it with a grain of salt.

However, it is my personal headcanon since Hades did help Zeus in the original Titanomachy that my mans became extremely distant in his attempt to become a feared and respected god of the underworld.

And that came with its own reputation as mentioned in Gospel Truth Part II. Hades can get one-track minded and that applies very well to Hercules too.

So in the end, everything Herc and Hades were doing wasn't getting them any closer to what they really wanted: social acceptance.

And this was a big thing in Ancient Greece. The worst punishment a person could receive in those times was being exiled. Outcast. Permanent hermitage.

Let that sink in.

It can be argued that Hades always vied for Zeus' position, but I personally believe he did so because every other attempt he's made to change his circumstances after his What's the Point moment he kept hitting a road block either from Zeus or his arrogance to continue ruling a kingdom even if it isn't the underworld. Until he basically reasons, yup gotta take down the resident thunder dunder head.

And I think it's this factor of loneliness that both these guys share that really exemplifies or differentiates why each one is a great foil to each other. Hades is the dark reflection of what Hercules could be if he continued to toil after godhood/accepted into Mount Olympus to no avail for years and years and years.

It's a very similar trope we see in Kung Fu Panda with Tai Lung vs Po. And where Zeus fits into the role of Shifu.

Remember, both these two were serving their people, but Hades has been around far longer. After centuries, Hades grew sick and tired of serving ppl for basically nothing so he decided to put all his anger and frustration to force the world to bend to him instead.

But this is all hidden in between the lines so it doesn't hit home to the audience unless you take a deeper look into these two characters.

And all that I've talked about above is not even what we see in the film.

So, let's talk about what we do see.

Exhibit Alpha: All Hades Breaks Loose

As always, Hades is a showstopper. Don't tell him that btw he doesn't deserve it.

After executing a perfect 9.8/10 gymnastic spectacle, Hades shows up ready to pounce and do what he does best: Wheel and Deal with a trick ace up his sleeve.

It's so funny seeing Hercules talk to this guy, b/c he just had a falling out with his mentor and he's absolutely not in the mood to talk to this fast-talking flame head.

And Hades was ready to mop the floor with the guy, but b/c he can't get Wonder Bread's attention he has to whip out Meg a lot faster then he wanted to. He couldn't even savor the moment- it's like wasting a fine cigar.

But Hades doesn't skip a beat and like any mob boss, snaps his fingers, does a bit of blackmailing, and my beautiful boy catches on that if he loses his powers for 24 hours- talk about the confidence on Hades' part here- ppl will get hurt.

Hades, naturally, assures him things will be fine. I mean it's not like they're living in Greek mythology or anything. And after all, Hades assures him, Meg will be safe from harm.

They even shake on it. With left hands.....

And as soon as the two break apart, Hades doesn't hold back on telling his nephew how badly he screwed up.

Leave it to your estranged uncle to sucker you into a terrible deal and then outline why that was the worst mistake of your lifetime. Grade A uncle-ing I say. Wonder if he learned that from centuries of putting up with Zeus' offspring.

And while I have discussed this scene before in Meg vs Hades, we see here the same betrayal Meg had gone through with her ex, but now Meg is taking on the role of her ex. So let's look at it from Herc's perspective.

Anyone else feel their heart breaking when Hercules accuses Hades of lying????

But this is what makes the scene for me:

Despite everything, Hercules still chooses to fight.

You can really see the strength of Hercules' character here. Cuz despite his stupid decision, he still bares the weight of his responsibility even without his god-like strength.

Hercules faces the Cyclops as a normie. Hades would never.

This is the moment where Hercules rises above Hades in humility and upholds his duty despite the odds against him. This moment cements Hercules as a hero.

Finally the cycle of similarities is broken by Hercules' unselfish act. And it should've been in my opinion the moment he gained godhood and not the one below:

Yes, I know how important it is for Meg's redemption and to show how pure and true their relationship is. They're my emotional support OTP, okay, but what's more compelling?

Hercules being saved by the woman who just betrayed him, or Hercules risking his life to save the city of Thebes now that he's just like everybody else? He doesn't have his plot armor anymore, he's facing a giant that's already going ham destroying the populace while everyone is trying to escape. Isn't that true hero material? To stand and face the threat and buy the people time to escape?

But I digress.

And oh man, when Meg gets crushed we see a side of Hercules that was hinted at after Phil called out Meg for being a fraud:

We see Hercules' flaw.

In fact, the same flaw that Hades has as well:

Wrath.

Exhibit Beta: A Swell Consolation Prize

Hades loses. Big surprise there. I'm not covering the Titan scene since Hades and Herc just trade frowns and smirks, so imma leave that one be for this post.

But Hades really does sign his death certificate when he starts running away and reminds Johnny Beefcakes that he still managed to get him where it hurts:

And boy oh boy, when Meg died in his arms, Hercules has murder on his mind.

This is the first time Hercules has a vendetta against Hades (with 10 minutes left). A true, true vendetta. He was willing to let go tricking him by using Meg, but now b/c Hades knocked over the domino that led to Meg's death and the job title he holds, he's ready to go kick ass.

And Lord, the writers knock a home run to the impulsiveness that sits at this central character flaw of Herakles.

Hercules, our Disney version, is ready to cheat death, beat Hades to a pulp and do anything to get Meg back. Alcestis and Admetus style, baby.

So Herc grabs Cerberus and forces the bloodthirsty puppy to take him to his master.

And now realizing that he still has a chance of pulling one over on Zeus, Hades is willing to look over the abuse upon his pet and gets ready to use the wheeling and dealing technique.

And while Hercules does *convince*, and I use that word very loosely, to trade places with Meg, Hades agrees. While some have pointed out to me how clever Hercules can be this was not one of those moments.

Wow the son of my greatest rival??? Hercules made a really easy bargain that Hades was gonna propose anyway. Meg is insignificant in the grand scheme of things so who cares if she got a 'Get out of Jail' free card.

But, Hades messed up. Dude should've had his cake and eaten it too and just fished Meg out so Herc could take that dip and avoid what was coming to him.

Y'see Hades wasn't aware of the true hero clause Zeus randomly made up just like how Hades randomly made up a god-to-mortal potion.

So we get this ending with Herc's debt remaining unpaid.

I joked to myself as I was writing this post to include a post in my Hercules Conflicts series where it's Hades vs Hades b/c let's be real, Hades caused all of Hades' problems.

Self-fulfilling prophecies babyyyyy

Oy... Can you believe that now that Herc and Meg are alive and kicking as mortals they still owe a debt to Hades? Not the best ending, mind you. Sure, Hades isn't getting out anytime soon, so does it matter in the grand scheme of things?

But it is a sweet and well-deserved ending for our boy Hercules. Bc despite everything, Hercules realizes that the ppl who love him and know him for who he is: his adopted parents, his coach, and his girl that he would rather live out a mortal life with them instead of one with his bio parents. He knows now that the acceptance he has always been longing for has been realized and he'd rather have the life he knows than risk it all for a life that might make him all the more miserable.

And just like Hercules, Hades is now permanently stuck in the world he was forced into. Funny how they both ended up in the place they were actively trying to leave. It's a well-deserved punishment even if the dead are screwed without someone to keep the underworld in tip-top shape.

It's a shame Hades didn't meet Hercules sooner in the film because there is tons of material here that could've really had them be a formidable villain/hero pair up there with the likes of Aladdin vs Jafar. To have them actively oppose each other and force Hercules to grapple with the knowledge that this god is doing everything in his power to keep him off balance. imagine if Hades showed up early on just to gloat and mock the kid and confirm everything Zeus had told him?

Hercules could've grown up with that chip on his shoulder, wanting to be a fighter and a warrior just so he could take Hades on for realzies and take on the hoard of monsters he's sending to doom humanity. Just so it culminates in the classic: We're not so different conversation to mentally mess with the hero about his morals and life choices.

Could've been great.

Regardless, thanks for making it to the end, dear reader.

Till next time.

[kokichis-dead-dove-club]

Got any spicy TigerFire hc's? JsmNd

BOY DO I

im stuck at a railroad crossing so i may as well answer this now skvfksbs

oh nvm just as i type that it passes time to draft this

OK IM PARKED LETS DO THIS

let's get the obvious ones out of the way

daddy kink. both of them. major daddy issues on both sides lmao

fire loves when tiger calls him a kittypet. this extends outside of kink too, 'kittypet' ends up just becoming one of tiger's pet names for him. he's not sure when it became a term of endearment on tiger's part, but he's not complaining in the slightest

ok i think u knew those already if you've spent any amount of time on my blog KSBFMSNS but here's some i don't talk abt super often

fire LOVES overstim

like. LOVES loves it.

please make him cry he needs it

tiger will work him through 3 or 4 climaxes before he fucks him, he's a very patient and attentive lover<3

tiger makes sure fire is a fucked out, almost incoherent mess by the time he's done with him 😌

size kink as well, for both of them. fire has a thing in general for being dominated, and tiger is more than happy to oblige

tiger pinning fire down with a single, massive paw? fire.exe has stopped working

tiger has a thing for collars. leashes as well but to a lesser extent

i mean we all know he has a thing for kittypets lmao, ofc he likes collars

tiger likes to fuck fire in places that are just private enough that it's unlikely someone will catch them, but not impossible. both he and fire love the thrill

tiger would LOVE to fuck fire in the middle of camp, show them all who he belongs to, but fire isn't keen on it, so it remains a fantasy they both talk about

cats dont have strap-ons and i refuse to do that thing some authors do where they'll have them use sticks and stuff as dildos, so in an anthro AU, tiger likes when fire pegs him

it's not very often, but sometimes tiger just really needs to be taken care of, sometimes by force. he needs fire to force him to submit, to take away the weight of clan life, just for a bit

oh also fire is a brat and tiger is a brat tamer. u can thank @grossrottie for me adopting this into my belief system (love u 💖🧡💖🧡💖🧡)

wow i have been typing for a while, hope this was what u wanted anon KSHFJSHSH

while im here i'll plug my fic i wrote, it's just pure firetiger smut lmao: here

[williamaltman]

My full IWTV thoughts/feelings/"review" (Part 1).

Ok for a while now I have been wanting to do like a big post talking about all of my main thoughts about the show. I think I went into the show in kind of an odd position because, I'm a book reader, but not a longtime one. I literally just got into them right before the show started airing. I started watching when it started airing and I had finished IWTV and TVL, but then I stopped and decided to at least finish TQOTD before I continued the show.

So, I'm gonna start with all the things I like and then what I didn't.

First of all: The way they just said fuck subtext or lowkey representation and made this fully romantic and horny. One of my issues with the books is that, at least in IWTV (but in a lesser extent the others too?), they keep things in this realm of plausibe deniability where even though things are obviously gay they still don't make it fully explicit. I get that it was 1976, but that doesn't fully change how I feel reading it, you know.

Besides the material itself, from what I understood AR loved to give some vague answers and "let things speak for itself", along with an idea in both books and her comments that vampires don't "need to worry" so to speak with sexual orientations, that in a way it doesn't really count, which is wack imo (though she did also full-on say that Lestat is bisexual which I appreciate).

But I think what bothered me the most in IWTV, wasn't even the subtext itself, but the way that Louis essentially didn't express any love for Lestat. The story is written like he just hates him from the beginning save for the first moments where he saw him to when he was turned. They are obviously coded as a couple down to HAVING A CHILD TOGETHER, but Louis' narration just never acts "accordingly" and gives it this weird no homo vibe. His love for Armand is a bit more clear which is better, but also not totally? Especially cause when they're saying stuff like "I/you want him to be my/your companion" it usually has the context of him as a replacement for Claudia.

Anyway this isn't a book review, so what I mean is basically that it was just VERY satisfying to see Loustat being clearly in love, especially from Louis' part. I love to see that sort of initial attraction especially when it comes from someone who doesn't want to be feeling that and all the angst that comes with it. Also, THEY FUCK. I kinda appreciate the concept of vampires not having regular sex in the books, but I'd still rather have them fuck. As a treat.

The fact that they also explicitly established Louis as gay instead of staying ambigous about his sexuality was also incredible. I do like works where that just isn't brought up and it just works naturally like if they were straight, but it's not my favorite approach. I like when they actually deal with it.

And on the topic of Louis' changes: Anything from slave-owner in a plantation is a glow-up. Making him also a black man is like, downright reparations. If you're upset about that you're dumb and possibly racist sorry. I understand that Louis' "race-swap" is different from most other characters since him being white actually is relevant, but it's relevant in a bad way. The upgrade definetely needed to happen to tell the story in current times.

And since we're talking about these types of changes, Claudia. I have A LOT of issues with how Claudia's story was handled, but Claudia herself, as in Bailey and her acting? Great. She's just amazing. The change in her age makes for a different story, but one that still works. And Bailey is just so charismatic and fierce. To see her slowly change from the cute daddy lou girl (which as I said, was way more fun and charismatic than book Claudia) to whom she has become in the latter episodes? Incredible. She truly embodies being the baddest bitch in the house, she INVENTED girlbossing.

And kinda going from this, the acting. The acting of all three is great. They have great chemistry, both Sam and Jacob and the two of them with Bailey. Even appearance wise, Claudia still looks like a living doll, and Jacob is still a soft pretty boy in a way that fits my own standards for a babygirl-coded character. Sam Reid might actually be too hot to be Lestat, tbh. I joke but wow, I'm actually attracted to him now. Armand's was like particularly genius cause even though he's not a auburn-haired white teenager he still looks just like Armand when it comes to his actual features?!

Also, the vibe, the atmosphere. It actually took me a while to get into it. I had whiplash from reading the book and seeing the movie where it was like 1 or 2 centuries behind the show, but once I got into it I loved it. I don't know how to explain this better but I just like how everything looks and "feels". The set and costume designers ate. The cinematography is great too and gives it the final touch.

[themetaisawesome]

17.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I think we need more material that has a healthy relationship to canon.

This has nothing to do with material for crack ships. Those are people just having a good time in their sandbox. This belief does apply a lesser extent to AUs, but still to an extent.

So many people will take something from canon and cram it into the same repeated fandom tropes over and over again. It's not even examples of missing the forest for the trees, it's missing the forest and the trees for some bark you peeled off of a log and shaped into something you're gonna sell on etsy.

What actually happened within the text only matters to such a crowd to a degree where they see what they want to and run with it. This leads to so many OOC content made by people who don't realize that what they're doing is OOC. If you want good examples, I present 99% of everything z*kka related. You know how many times I think of this image whenever my dash forces me to see what people on that ship create?

Not all canons are made equal, I get that. I can name a few canon materials in my fandoms that I outright ignore because they do not spark joy within me. But here's the thing: I stay away from making content that's too related to things that I ignore or outright hate. Z*kka doesn't work for me, so I don't make things for that ship. I also don't bother trying to find ways to bash it in the fics I write. When I do make a decision to ignore something, I examine what I'm going to cut so that I can do so thoughtfully. If you're not careful when cutting a cake, you're gonna cut a fucked up slice.

If one approaches everything creative with a fix-it mentality, you gotta wonder if the original thing needed fixing at all. If I say that I'm a van Gogh fan and then present you something I made that looks like it came from Warhol, does it really matter how much I insist that it's a tribute to van Gogh? If I present a Hamlet AU where Hamlet isn't depressed, has no daddy or mommy issues, isn't a nerd, isn't impulsive, isn't self-centered, and isn't an extra af little bitch, I'm not writing Hamlet fanfiction, I'm writing a brand new character and calling him Hamlet.

Hamlet can absolutely be the protag of your Hamlet/Horatio coffee shop AU. But if you want to write that, use that brain of yours to ask, "what would the Prince of Denmark be like in all his hamlety ways if he also had to work at a starbucks?" I guarantee that the answers you come up with will have more and tastier meat on their calcium-filled bones.

If you are approaching an aspect of canon that you dislike or disagree with, don't immediately try to dance around it. Approach that thing head on and apply your critical thinking skills. Why do you dislike it? Can you understand why the creators made that decision in canon? Can you build on it and play with it rather than retcon it? If you ignore something you dislike without giving it a chance, you can't learn from it.

If I'm reading a fanfic you wrote and I can't feel your love for the original source material, you forgot why it's called fanfiction.

[epicspheal]

"I was reading different reviews on the Pokemon rivals and a lot of the criticism for Silver is in how much of a jerk he is, never tries to fight Team Rocket, keeps calling the player weak even when you beat him, he repeats his mantra like an obsessed emotional parrot and stupidly challenges you to a battle on Rocket grounds then ruins your disguise, hands off buddy? Which yeah, his writing was messy but I love him anyways. He's my trash gremlin son. "He don't bite." "Yes, HE DO?!" Eight-year old neglected kid logic is a mess. Which brings me to trying to figure out why exactly he so desperately wants to prove that you don't need bonds to be strong. I think that Giovanni does care for his Pokemon, and to some degree, the TR goons working under him. And I think Silver saw some of that growing up, maybe even the loyalty people like Archer had towards his father, and they called that "strength." But then that strength failed. And Giovanni left him. So it goes like this. "If I don't prove that it's possible to be strong on your own, then that means what my father was doing was right, but I hate him! He left me, that can't be right! He used bonds (between the Rockets) to stomp on the weak, but couldn't face challenges on his own. That must mean HE was weak, and that's why he ran away. Team Rocket says the weak are worthless and should be let go, so it's me who doesn't need him. It's not that he didn't need me, right?!" 😅 Trying my best, what do you think?

Anonymous Ask

Hi there anon! First off I want to apologize for the lateness of me answering this ask...I thought I could get to it sooner but medical school said "Nope" But on to your ask, I think Silver's a great character but like most characters pre-gen 5 he suffers from writing problems. Namely, a lot of stuff happens in off-screen land. Now off-screen development isn't inherently bad as you can always fit everything into the on-screen narrative. But it has to be balanced and I think a lot of the criticisms about never seeing him fight Team Rocket would've been solved if we did get to see him fight on screen more. As you mentioned, he's a kid with daddy issues. The fact people expect him to...not act like a kid in some regards and criticize him for being childish will forever baffle me (but then a lot of the criticisms lobbed at characters from Blue to Hop can be countered with "They are a child what do you expect from them? I know grown adults who would act just like that or worse" So yeah he tends to still call the player weak even after they beat him multiple times. He does eventually stop doing that it takes a while...like how most habits and worldviews take time to change. And yeah he repeats that mantra because again he has a very strong worldview tied to some really personal events in his life. Sounds like a good majority of people regardless of age happen to hang on to something that maybe isn't the best or healthiest thing to hold on to. I mean people are free to like or dislike Silver as a character but you know I swear some of the criticisms that are lobbed at him and 90% of the kid characters in Pokemon could be countered with "they're a human child, they're not grown and even if they were grown they're not perfect". To your question as to why he held on for so long that bonds aren't needed to be strong, I think you hit some solid points about what the cause is. Growing up Silver watched Giovanni cultivate an underground empire via Team Rocket. Any organization to succeed needs bonds, although they don't have to be buddy-buddy in nature. And as we see in Pokemon Origins and to a lesser extent in the Pokemon anime that Giovanni perhaps does genuinely care for his team. Although in multiple media Giovanni definitely refers to Pokemon as tools, so his thoughts may have changed as he grew older (as was implied in Pokemon Origins). Or he could be bluffing. Who knows? And then as you mentioned Giovanni ditched him. One of the strongest bonds in the world is supposed to be between a parent and a child and yet Giovanni gave the middle finger to that and Silver. I also wonder if Silver heard that Giovanni was taken down by a lone child (Red) which if he did would likely help to further his belief that one person on their own is strong enough So young Silver saw how much Giovanni relied on others in order to make his dream come true. And he also felt the sting of abandonment firsthand at a young age. That right there is enough to give him that outlook on bonds and be wary of relying on others when they can drop you at any time. Which as you mentioned would've motivated him to try to become strong without them. It's flawed and childish, yes, but given what he grew up with it makes sense why his mind would come to those conclusions. A lot of times kids aspire to be not like their parental figures and will try tactics opposite their guardians. The thing is, Silver is missing a lot of nuance. He is right though in that you can be a weak person if you find yourself overly reliant on others. Sometimes you have to stand on your own two feet when no one else is around (or willing) to help out. You have to be willing to stand on your own, but also stand together (and have the discernment to know when's the best time to do either). And because Giovanni's bonds with his organization are built up on more nefarious connections it's a lot easier for him to be betrayed and potentially crushed by those bonds. Yes, I know in general Team Rocket has a lot of loyalty to Giovanni, but I always think of the Masked Marauder from the 4th Pokemon movie who was an elite rocket agent who eventually wanted to overthrow Giovanni, so the loyalty of his subordinates is not absolute.  

[grison-in-space]

I have been spending much of the past few weeks drowning in ancient Sentinel fic. (It's a real trip when you read a contemporarily-set-as-written story that flashes twenty years into the future, note the year, and then note that said far flung future year is 2019.)

Anyway, one of the the things that keeps standing out to me as I read is just how much Jim's canonical superpower is basically just neurodivergence, and just how much of this body of slash (and the odd smarm) fic is also about coming to terms with the disabling aspects of neurodivergence. But--and this is the thing that fascinates me about it--both dialogues are absolutely and completely out of sync with contemporary dialogue about what we currently call autism and ADHD.

Hear me out! The big things Jim is struggling with are hypersensitivity, overload, and executive function--that is, he frequently snags on sensory inputs with which he can't disengage. He's got to be careful about what he consumes or interacts with because he has outsize reactions to certain stimuli, often in unpredictable (to him) ways.

Y'all, I literally refer to that experience--that is, getting stuck on a sensation or activity with which I can't disengage without external input, say like my partner nudging me to check in, as zoning out. Have done for years. (Also, to be fair, as "freezing up" or "getting stuck", and there's an emotional component to all that which is basically just PTSD, but you can also effectively argue that Jim displays both the simple PTSD you expect out of an Army vet and also the complex PTSD you expect out of a baby neurodivergent kid trying to fit into an unyielding world etc etc; what do you think Jimmy's childhood trauma and daddy issues about approval actually come down to?)

Now I say this is all totally disconnected from contemporary dialogue about ADHD and autism because, bluntly, both at the time and even to a lesser extent today, these are both highly gendered categories, and Jim ain't the right gender. Yeah, he's male, but you gotta understand that there's a whole bunch of gender categories under "male" and "female," all of which are inflected by things like race and class and culture and subculture, this isn't a binary thing--if it helps to think instead "Jim isn't the right kind of guy to be the kind of guy we talk about with respect to autism especially," it's the same concept. Diagnoses and labels are socially constructed categories; we define who fits in those boxes based on mental pictures of what kinds of people fit the image, and at the time these labels were really, really inflected by focus on a specific kind of guy. (Well, the larval form of that guy, since largely we were talking about children and still are, without contemplating that out of the hideous chrysalis of adolescence shambles an entirely different sort of beast--fuck, it is real obvious this morning I have had neither meds nor breakfast as I write. A n y w a y.)

My point is that Jim is a) too athletic, b) too military, c) too quiet, and d) too concerned with masking and camouflaging himself and not revealing that he's not like everyone else to fit most of our modern schemas of these labels and all of our contemporary ones. And, if you look at those last two notes, Jim actually displays a developmental response to neurodivergence and finding out that you are not the kind of kid that everyone around you is expecting that we associate with neurodivergent girls: try not to need help, do not on any account let it be known that you are Different except for that weird Village People phase of his right after the military and be quiet if you're struggling. (In a weird way, gender nonconforming behavior is part of the diagnostic metapicture for especially autistic people: boys who aren't into sports enough, girls who aren't good enough at makeup, and so forth. So one of the common things you see in people who are trying to mask neurodivergence is a hyperconformity to whatever gender presentation is considered most culturally acceptable--and, er, also a very common thing you see in closeted queer and trans people, there is a reason a lot of these things co-occur....)

Ooh, hey, you know what kind of person fandom is chock full of? Queer, neurodivergent women. You know what kind of people were writing a lot of Sentinel fic--? Keep that in mind.

Actually you know who is the right gender--the right kind of guy--to have run into autistic people and ADHD people and delights such as myself that meld both experiences into a single cobblework brain? Blair. Blair is exactly the kind of kid who would have gotten diagnosed, if he was about ten years younger and Naomi sat still long enough. Blair, the bookish child genius who went to university at sixteen and then apparently stayed there accruing degrees bizarrely slowly until we meet him ten years later as what appears to be a fairly new PhD student, or at least one who hasn't gotten very far. Do you have any idea how dense on the ground neurodivergent people are in academia? I mean, mostly they're not identified as such, you wouldn't believe how awkward people get when I casually disclose that Yes, I Have The Labels, but you do eventually recognize patterns in the sorts of people you interact with every day by the time you've been knocking around them for ten years.

A while back I was talking on this blog about how coded portrayals of characters are often just depictions based on types of people that authors have observed without necessarily conceptualizing or recognizing them as part of the group they're coded as belonging to. And I really do think that this is a massive factor in both how Jim is portrayed in canon but also in how Jim is depicted in fandom. Which is what makes the dialogue of these stories so interesting to me, because we think about the same groups of people and the same experiences differently depending on the frameworks we apply to them. So here I see this whole fascinating dialogue in fandom that is approaching the experiences of the same sorts of people as we see labeled one way, but constructing their own frameworks to understand, often with reference to but largely (fortunately) avoiding the framework of canon, which is kind of cartoonishly racist in a very 1990s way.

(Look, the downside of intersectionality is that sometimes you interrogate an interesting thread that is doing something novel and fascinating on Axis 1 and something incredibly boring and frustratingly harmful on Axis 2 and being deliberate and thoughtful about neither of them.)

I have more, but I've been chattering all morning while I walk the dogs and feed the cats and at some point I have to start packing, but look:

I just read a fascinating two-part set of short stories on the potential transcendent joy of hyperfixation and zoning and the ethics of trying to intervene in someone else's tendency to zone in the interest of not, ah, accidentally zoning at a bad moment and dying or being unable to accomplish one's basic goals. A set of pieces that is thinking fairly explicitly about themes of practicality and choice and how one might choose to moderate and control one's mind to balance ecstacy and independence, ending on a note of choosing to indulge in hyperfixation and zoning occasionally, at times of one's own choosing.

Written in goddamn 2002.

What a world we live in! What a lens with which to interrogate a body of text!

[0lshadyl0]

Hi! Can I request Yandere! Headcanons for Sabo and Benn from One Piece? I loved the ones you did for Shanks🙈. Tysm in advance 😙💙

I am glad that you like pumpkin 

since you didn’t specify the gender it will be female pronouns

Yandere Sabo headcanons

• It is a bit scary to think of this guy as a Yandere and I will explain why

• Of the three of the ASL brothers, he is the most deceptive, because of his chivalrous and kind appearance, he also tends to be a bit sadistic

• By sadistic I don't mean that he hurt his darling, he would never do that, after all, he is a Yandere protector... unless you try to escape, in that case, say goodbye to your legs for a while because he'll be going to break them and it's going to hurt like hell

• For you to learn the lesson, remember, he did not want to do it, but you forced him, because yes, he is a manipulator, he has a great talent for mental games • But when I speak of sadistic I mean it because everyone around you is in danger of being attacked by Sabo • As soon as he fixes his eyes on you, all men (except Luffy and in a perfect world where he is not dead Ace) are a threat and if they are too affectionate with you he will make sure they never come near you again

• Don't worry, he won't kill them the first time, but I'm sure none of them would want to push their luck a second time • Oh yes, I did not mention you before, but he is from the group of yanderes who kills threats or what he considers competition, but at least he is one of the few who gives a second chance, and if you happen to like are women then ... • Suddenly he has just forgotten that he is a gentleman who drinks the respecting women juice 

• In front of you, he is an elegant gentleman with a kind smile, always looking out for you, in case you need help or are in danger, as I said before, he is a protective Yandere, your safety comes first • Sabo will always be looking for a way to help you and make your life easier, he will accompany you everywhere, he will buy you things that attract your attention and he will even share his food, do you know how much that means? I am not exaggerating when I say you are the only one with whom he has shared his food • He is also a Stalker, that training to become a revolutionary is coming out very convenient now.

• I honestly do not believe that he will kidnap you because he values freedom very much, yes, Sabo wants you to always be by his side and to know where you are always but not if it is due to the fact that you are locked in a room and chained to a bed or wall • If not, and because of bad luck you end up in danger, the first one will rescue you, the second will scold you a little and the third will not allow you to get out of their sight. • breach that or try to leave and see how we will go to the part where he breaks your legs • Although it is scary, you may lose most, if not all, your friends or you have no privacy, Sabo is one of the most bearable yanderes if you are intelligent as well as knowing how to play your cards, you may have a normal relationship with him, just do not keep any secrets and for the  love of whatever you believe, DO NOT show interest in another person

• because even though it may not seem like it, Sabo is a very jealous person

Yandere Benn Beckman headcanons

I'll be honest with you, I know very little about Beckman, after all, I have the understanding that he is not that he has appeared much in the series, but I will see what I can do with the little information I have, so this may come out a bit oc with him, but hey, don't let it be said that we didn't try

• Benn gives me the feeling that, despite looking like a laid-back man who takes things easy, he's not really like that. • We could say that he goes by the specter of the paranoid Yandere • I mean, his outward appearance is a vile lie compared to what is inside his mind, he is always worried about what might happen to you. • It's not that he mistrusted you, on the contrary, he trusts you a lot, in fact, that is why you have never seen the dark side of him to the point that you think that he is an ordinary person

• In fact, on the yandere scale of my One Piece universe, he is on the side of the least dangerous for his Darling, since he would not hurt you even to punish you • He would use the old guilt trip technique and although he hates to make you feel bad, it is for your good, you are too innocent and this world is so cruel... • Who Benn doesn't trust is everyone else except his captain • He has the thought that everyone tries to hurt you and take advantage of you to a lesser or greater extent, that is something that the pirate could not accept • That is why he keeps you by his side and tries to teach you as much as possible so that you can defend yourself. • Because he is the type of Yandere with enough sanity to know that he will not last you forever, he is already a man over fifty years old and the pirate job is not very safe to say despite being under the command of a Yonkou • So he wants you to learn as much as possible, for when he lacks you, no one can abuse you • He is quite soft and the way he talks is so attractive, full of wisdom, with affectionate words, that sooner or later you will be willing to have a closer relationship with him

• Oh yes, he knows how to talk to women, surely in his youth, he was a real casanova • He does not like you to be with other men, not because he is jealous and will hurt them (which he would only do if they try to overstep with you), but because he is afraid that they will do something bad to you, in addition to that he is also insecure of himself, after all, as I told you, he is a man and youth has abandoned him a long time ago (still looks hot to me but whatever you think Benn) 

• I can say that he is a Yandere that you cannot manipulate because of how supremely intelligent he is, but he hardly restricts anything since his only goal is for you to be very happy and with him as much as possible. • If you decide to have a relationship with him and get married, that would make him very happy, but if you don't want to, that's fine, just don't take him away from your life or you'll see how the dark side of him starts to come out • definitely this man is suitable for both romantic and platonic Yandere (I speak for you readers with daddy issues, this is your yandere, he won't abandon you to go for cigarettes)

[greyjackwatcher]

Me: Okay i have seen the leaks of the new chapter 352 from my phone and the reactions of those i follow during work and they were just so fucking good so i wanna go and read the leaks myself

Me: Alright from where are you gonna read them from?

Me: From the old site that i used to read the chapters of bnha and the comment section was filled with villain haters

Me:....Why? Why are you willing to put yourself through that experience again, they are not gonna stop hating them.

Me; It seems that i am in a mood of masochism today and i just wanna laugh at that

Me: Well you are one weird mf so go ahead

Me: *goes there*

The comments(like some of them are just so stupid that you can’t even get mad at them)

Person No1:

‘’Once again Dabi projecting his insecurities onto shoto.  Just because you're immature and choose to walk a path of pettyness and self destruction doesn't mean shoto has to. So shoto puts an end to dabis suicidal temper tantrum by freezing them both saving dabi from burning himself to a crisp. Looks like we're going the whole spiderman no way home ending heal and save the villains from themselves so they don't end up dying by their own bad choices 😑.’’

Like dude holy shit what other choices did he have, seriously please tell me in full detail what were the other choices he could have taken by this point, jfc dude learn to understand in-character perspective. Also you seem to clearly forget that shouto was in fact on that path of pettiness and self-destruction, though in a much lesser extent pre and during sports festival, KNOW YOUR HISTORY BUDDY INSTEAD OF REMEMBERING ANYTHING YOU WANT TO REMEMBER. Also please learn the accurate meaning of temper tantrum before throwing such words around carelessly. I also see you being salty about spiderman nwh as if spiderman saving the villains wasn’t the best part of the movie that quite bluntly made me extremely like the movie so much, so i can clearly expect your reaction to the ending of the manga. I am gonna relish it. Also i don’t know about the projection of insecurities because better meta writers have analysed it and because i disagree just to spite you, plus i really wonder why i even waste my time with you given that all you do whenever i get to read the comments is bitch and complain and throw your hate about the LoV all the time, we get it you hate them, grow up and don’t make it a problem to all those that like them

‘’Damn horikoshi Rushing the hell out this story. This fight ended way to quick. ‘’

Nah dude the fight was absolutely perfect, you just wanted more slugfest and gladly hori didn’t deliver.

Person No2:

 ‘’Hmmm I hope the fight doesn’t end here otherwise it’ll be pretty underwhelming. Only way I can see this going is if Dabi just still fights to the end and well yeah that’s really the only way ‘’

...How about no? How about the fight ends here and the siblings get a happy moment, huh?

Person No3:

‘’don't think so, remember what the good old doctor saying that the only thing keeping Dabi alive was vengance and daddy issues?

Well, Dabi just died (I want to think) his organs must be screwed right now, was a walking hell Fire BBQ and not even recovery Girl can save him.’’

‘’I'm glad that endevour's sidekicks (specially Burnin) survived, I don't think Dabi is gonna live for much longer, his body is a total mess, his insides are ruined, he was an walking BBQ abomination, so don't worry ‘’

Man i have finally found the first person in the leaks saying that dabi is gonna die. At the very least it is just him, also be careful when you trust the doctor, he isn’t a reliable narrator.

Person No4:

‘’The fight between Shoto vs Touya ended in two chapters? Really? This is one of the most biggest dissapointing things I seen since I read MHA. The fight was anticlimatic and was mehhh. This is lame.

I guess I will be looking forward too seeing Deku,Uraraka and Endeavour fights than this,if this fighted ended as anticlimatic as this.

I doubt it will go the same direction as Aot. But MHA needs to do better with the final arc fights from the looks of it so far. Because If Shoto vs Touya just ended in two chapters this is one of the most underwhelming and anticlimatic fight I seen in the series. The hype didn t live up to it's expectation 

Nope this is final arc and Shoto vs Touya has been hype for a while this is far too anticlimatic and underwhelming to just end in two chapters. It's either rush writing or lazy writing. Horikoshi should just have made Shoto vs Touya in the last war arc no need to settle this at the final arc. What a waste of time.

Clearly you don t understand what is a concise story if you think Shoto vs Touya is satisfying to just end in two chapters no offense

That's not an excuse Horikoshi built the final battle for Deku amd allies vs Shiggy,AFO and his allies not just Deku,AFO and Shiggy.If its just about them only,this series should just end last war arc. This is the time to expand and develop on all the characters including the main characters,supporting characters and the villians and their fights. So far I am not seeing it.’’ 

I personally disagree with this because the fight was just wonderful and that the whole point was to help and save touya not beat the shit out of him, though i do agree that the characters could be a bit more developed though.

Person No5:

‘’wow almost like this was the main message of the story from the beginning. keep crying’‘

This was a response from someone to the no1′s first comment and was very satisfying to me imho, so bravo for saying something good to him because he deserves the shade. Also please don’t go insulting others okay? You lose your point when you start throwing insults.

So TLDR: This chapter was just awesome and with just some personal nitpicks, just perfect, stan Shouto for being one of the best characters in the whole manga and a true hero and have a nice day/night.

[inkykeiji]

hello, bby💞💞 i absolutely ADORE everything u write, ur insanely talented!! I wanted to ask, you’ve mentioned several pieces of art, precisely songs and films, that have inspired ur work; could u give us some music and movie recommendations that have similar vibe to some of ur fics??? Thank u in advance, I hope u have an incredible day/evening, lysm💓💞💖

THIS QUESTION OOOOOOOH YES ANON YES okay okay first of all, thank you so much!!!! i appreciate that a lot <333 YES i love film so much hehehe <3 my music recommendations are pretty much the same as they always are. the films i’m recommending here; i’m not exactly sure if they have a similar vibe to my fics as i’ve found it difficult to find many films that fit that criteria, but here’s a nice huge list of films that have influenced my main series’, and how!!

beware!! very long post under the cut hehehe AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR BMB IF YOU KNOW THE FILMS HEHEHEHEHE

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬

the godfather, part 1 + part 2

AAAAAAAAH okay, literally one of my favourite films of all time, the godfather (+ the godfather pt 2) is a fucking masterpiece. tomura’s close relationship with his father was both inspired by bnha itself as well as michael corleone’s relationship with his father, vito. michael is the golden child even though he’s the youngest, and i love love love how cold and ruthless he can be!!! he’s also super smart.

goodfellas

listen. if henry hill from goodfellas and michael corleone from the godfather had a baby, it would be tomura. he’s slightly more henry than he is michael, but his characterization pulls from both of these characters!! henry is fun, he’s reckless, he’s young, he feels like a god and he loves cocaine. henry also becomes very paranoid, a path with tomura is currently speeding down (albeit much more intensely, with legitimate mental health issues, but you get it). i also love the subtle ‘mafia princess’ trope goodfellas has going on with henry’s wife, karen (that scene where she says she’s going shopping and asks him for money, and he takes out that massive wad of cash?????? brilliant, one of my faves hehehe). henry also has some difficulty dealing with his emotions!!

narcos season 1 + 2

k, i can’t say too much about how this incredible show inspired bmb; i kind of feel like listing it is already giving away too much hehehe BUT i love the pure POWER pablo exudes, and i love his relationship with his wife and how family oriented he is.

scarface (both the original 1932 version and the 1983 version)

WOOOOOOOOOO OKAY. for the 1983 film: cocaine my friends. cocaine and violence and toxic relationships!!!!!!!  i kind of love elvira hancock more than anything else; she’s so glamorous and fun and just aaaaah she’s definitely not as ‘baby’ or ‘good girl’ as bmb!reader is, but her sheer class and cute dresses and just how SPOILED she is reminds me a lot of bmb! for both 1932 + 1983: tony’s relationship with his sister, gina (which tbh borders on incest). gina’s another one of those ‘mafia princess’ types, and tony is extremely overprotective of her and spoils her like mad, too. she’s also fits that ‘good girl’ archetype a lot more!!

reservoir dogs

purely the violence. the violence the violence the violence, the crude and crass way the men talk to each other, and the fact that they’re like a lil organized crime group put together by a boss. i am IN LOVE (IN LOVEEEEEEEE) with mr blonde (aka vic vega <333). mr blonde’s extreme sadism reminds me quite a bit of both dabi and tomura, and he’s even referenced in the lil torture piece i wrote!! also, you literally cannot tell me that vic wouldn’t spoil the absolute HELL out of his good lil princess if he had one <3

(not a film, but!!!!!) hamlet

break my bones is very very very loosely based on hamlet (which is my favourite story of all time. literally. i love hamlet so much i can’t even put it into words); with tomura as hamlet, dabi as a mixture of horatio and laertes, and reader as ophelia. hamlet, my precious baby, is a spoiled fucking brat, who loved his father and was loved by his father. he’s also very intelligent, but falls prey to his indecisiveness and his inability to make decisions, in addition to the rapid decay of his mental health. that’s all i’ll say hehehe

baby driver

the relationship between baby + debora reminds me of the relationship between dabi and reader a lot <333 i also just love the aesthetic of this film, and the undercurrents of organized crime!!

the shining

just a teeny tiny bit; i cannot say anything about this or i think it’ll give something away!!!!!

burning

trios!!!!! trios!!!!!!!!!!!!and the relationship dynamic between jong-su, hae-mi and ben??????? absolutely incredible and reminds me quite a bit of the dynamic between tomura, dabi + reader!!

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐀𝐔 (𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞) + 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐲𝐚-𝐧𝐢𝐢

i’m grouping these two together, because a lot of their influences overlap in terms of dabi + reader’s relationship!!! (i’m pretty sure we can all agree that touya-nii is so fucking Daddy, too <3)

true romance

i fucking love this movie, so so so much. i’d go as far to say that clarence and alabama’s relationship has without a doubt inspired or influenced every single romantic relationship i’ve written in at least some way, shape, or form. i LOVE them. i love their co-dependency on each other, i love their whole ‘it’s you and me against the world’ vibe, and i love how far they’re willing to go for each other. also, again, organized crime (no surprise), and alabama is just the cutest fucking thing i swear to god. that scene of her + virgil in the hotel room will forever be one of my absolute FAVOURITE scenes in cinematic history. i would die for this woman i love her more than anything. she’s so cute yet so strong, so brave, so IN LOVE, and aaaah that is just one of my favourite characteristics ever ever ever. i love women who are soft and strong at the same time, even if that strength isn’t physical.

sid and nancy

hello to one of the most famous toxic relationships ever!!! honestly, i don’t think i have to explain this one much LMAO. obviously my readers aren’t as hardcore as nancy and almost always fall into the ‘innocent good girl’ category, but their RELATIONSHIP itself reminds me quite a bit of the relationship between touya-nii and his princess <3

bonnie and clyde (1967)

ahahaha yet again, another very toxic, very co-dependent type of love. like clarence and alabama, i love how these two are literally willing to die for each other—they’d go straight to the ends of the earth for one another, no questions asked. this type of love is extremely unhealthy, obviously, but it’s something i am extremely fascinated with and love exploring in my work! also, that whole ‘fuck the world let’s commit crimes together’????? very tag you’re it dabi x reader!!!

pulp fiction

more specifically, the relationship between mia and vincent. the sexual tension there is fucking crazy, and i love how mia is yet again one of those ‘mafia princess’ types. really, this film applies to bmb as well, but i’m putting it here because the way vincent gets so so SO soft for mia reminds me of the way touya-nii and dabi in these two series in particular get soft for their readers. also, to a lesser extent, the relationship between butch and fabienne. i know a lot of people don’t like fabienne and get annoyed with her, but i think she’s just the cutest thing and i heavily relate to her and her babie/crybaby nature <3 and of course, the relationship between pumpkin and honeybunny (for tag you’re it especially!) <33

breathless (a bout de souffle)

there’s just something about michel that reminds me of touya-nii SO much. i think it’s a combination of his attitude as well as his petty life of crime, and the way patricia hides him in her apartment...i don’t know, it’s difficult for me to put into words, but i love him a lot <3

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

the joker + harley quinn: i feel like this is so obvious LMAO but i’m obsessed with the idea of that all consuming voracious love that borders on serious obsession. extremely possessive socio/psychopath and his dumb lil baby????? yes <3 (**i also wanna make a note to say that harley isn’t dumb AT ALL, but J will often insult her in such a way, and sometimes the men who write her portray her as such as well >.> but harley is one of my favourite female characters ever. i LOVE how girly and fun she is while still being extremely strong and (sometimes, depending on the version) independent. she isn’t without flaws, and i love how her mr j is basically her kryptonite <3)

speaking of batman, bruce wayne: what can i say, i just love spoiled rich men who have serious issues dealing with their emotions and walk the line of good and evil <33333

anakin skywalker/darth vader: listen, anakin was seriously slighted by those prequel films. but underneath all of that bad writing, at his core, anakin is a fantastic character. he is SO strongly governed by his emotions and is extremely selfish, and his love for his wife and family is ultimately what leads him down the path to the dark side <3 his emotionally charged motivations remind me a lot of CANON dabi!!!

thelma and louise: i just love their relationship, like, a lot hehehe. their relationship and the ending of this film reminds me a lot of my snowman & me; just yet again that whole ‘it’s you and me or it’s death’ type thing.

the darjeeling limited: it should be obvious at this point that i love trios, and i love complex characters and the relationships that come along with them. the relationship between the whitman brothers, the dysfunctional family, the truama and sadness...i love it all. this film is absolutely beautiful and really doesn’t connect much to my work other than the character dynamics, but i love it so dearly.

mad men: again, those misogynistic toxic relationships and the dependency betty has on don for the first few seasons!! also my god, the aesthetic, i am obsessed.

twin peaks: this hasn’t shown up too much in the work i’ve posted on my blog just yet, but i’m head over heels in love with the dreamy unsettling feeling that saturates this entire series, as well as the drugs and crime. also dale is my baby, protect him with everything <3

blade runner (both films): for city aesthetic

suckerpunch: an absolutely awful film but also one of my guilty pleasures, purely because i love babydoll so so so so so much <33 again, more for aesthetic than story.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂

honestly, my music recommendations are exactly the same as they are in this post right here. lana del rey, lil peep, chase atlantic + the neighbourhood are the four that i’d say influence my work the most tho, and have the most similar vibe to my stuff!! also, nicole dollanganger is an incredible artist and lyricist, and i’ve been told more than once that my work and her work are quite similar (which i agree!!!). her stuff is hauntingly beautiful, but i have a lot of difficulty listening to it because it hits a little too close to home and makes me cry literally every single time. so please be wary of that, i’m giving a general trigger warning for her because she can get quite dark. but her work is absolutely fantastic, i highly recommend as long as you feel that you can handle it!!! <33

AAAAAH I KNOW I’M MISSING LIKE A MILLION THINGS I SWEAR but these are the films (and tv shows) + artists that readily come to mind!! thank you again for your question anon, i love stuff like this so much and i love discussing films and art hehehe <33

[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 49

Chapter Summary - At Lily's birthday party, Tom speaks to Ben about Lily's gift from her long-estranged grandfather before he and Alexianna discuss it more.

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

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Tags: @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @theoneanna​​

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Alexianna found herself unable to speak with her brother. Every time she tried to ring him, her anger would bubble in her stomach and chest again and she would have to “X” off his name and number.

Tom returned as he promised two days later and tried to calm her by talking it through with her but she was too angry at her older brother, she knew he was the one to tell Oliver to go ahead with paying Hampstead Hill and the fact he had not even discussed it with her or allowed her time to think it over fully, especially when she had only gone to Mr Barrows and discussed her issues with her father the day before the acceptance letter arrived. She was livid and nothing would calm her.

She was incredibly suspect as to Oliver's motives and Tom realised quickly that she was even losing sleep to it causing him to contemplate telling her brother. He knew interfering too much was not a good idea but the manner in which Alexianna was dealing with it clearly showed her anger. As it happened, Daniel was at sea with limited access to reception so there was difficulty getting hold of him. More than once he talked her out of simply withdrawing Lily's name but only by asking her to wait until she thought it over more.

The twenty-first of July came and with it, Lily's fifth birthday. The day was too much in Alexianna's eyes. They held a party for Lily and her friends at a play centre nearby, amongst those invited were Sophia, her school friends and even Kit, who she still pleaded with Tom to allow her to play with again and to a lesser extent, Hal, who was too young to care about anything bar the colourful and soft plastic balls that seem almost irresistible to him as he waddled through the padded play area for smaller children.

“You are a natural at this.” Ben commented to Tom after Tom assisted Lily and Sophia to take off their cardigans without ruining their newly done glitter tattoos on their arms and painted faces before the pair ran off again while the two men stood outside the waddler play area where Hal was playing happily.

“It's not natural, I have failed to save the glitter a few times. It is a learned skill.” Tom responded, tidily folding the two cardigans over a chair. “I am learning all the time.”

“Look, Tom; no one is instinctively able to do everything, it's not possible, have you any idea the number of nappies I failed to do properly, from not tucking the boys down to not ensuring the leg pieces were out as they are supposed to be.” Tom looked at his friend in bewilderment. “Parenting is not easy.” Was all Ben declared in response? “But you seem so at ease with it.”

“I have to be if I want to be there for Lexi and Lily.” Tom shrugged. “It's like you said, it's a fulltime job. There's no picking and choosing what I want to be part of, it can't be like that. She needs solid structure. My being gone for work is unstable, I know, but how many parents work those sort of jobs? That's okay as long as when I'm here, I am fully immersed in being there for her.”

Ben looked at Tom blankly for a moment before chuckling slightly. “You get it.” His friend acknowledged. “That's exactly it.” Tom gave a proud smile. “So how are things with Alexianna, do you feel as happy with her?”

Tom frowned slightly. “We have the same issues as everyone else, nothing serious, just slight issues. She doesn't like that she is not as wealthy, she feels it puts an inequality in this and she feels as though it puts pressure on us but she's working through it.”

“There's a considerable difference though.”

“And that doesn't matter. She doesn't ask for anything from me. She literally looks for nothing. She refuses to let me even pay for a takeaway without her paying her share. She is incredibly independent. She pays her and Lily's way, to her, that is not my responsibility.”

“Good, for both of you. You because I don't want my friend to be someone's ATM but also for her because she clearly does not want to depend on others and to be able to do her own thing is clearly important and to hear she is in the position to do that is a good thing.” Tom nodded. “I had to ask because she seems to be forcing a smile today.” Tom chewed his cheek for a moment. “I'm not imagining it then?”

Tom sighed. “No. Do you recall our conversation before on schools?”

“Yes?” Ben answered, the single word elongated as he thought of how this was in reference to the situation.

Tom glanced to see where Alexianna was, seeing her talking with Rhodri's father and a mother he had seen at the school gate a few times. “Lexi is currently pissed off at her brother and their father.”

“What has this to do with the school situation?”

“Her father is some big guy in business, hence her private education, well her brother and father have arranged and paid Lily's fees for Hampstead Hill for the upcoming school year and Lexi is irate.”

“I thought after the bullying and all that you planned on talking about it to her and you thought she would be open to it. Surely Lily's grandfather paying is a far more acceptable situation for her?”

“Oliver left when she was seven or eight and never so much as spoke to her since, he just paid school fees.”

“And now he is swanning in and playing the caring grandfather and she's…?”

“He said she doesn't even have to have him as part of Lily's life but she is very sceptical.”

“Understandable. And what about the brother, I thought you said they were close. How does this involve him, is he siding with the father?”

“Daniel assisted Oliver getting Lily's details to pay the school and register her and Lexi sees him not giving her time to think about it as a betrayal of sorts.”

“When did this all happen?”

“In the last week. I feel as though I should contact Daniel and tell him what is going on because she is too angry to speak with him.”

“Getting involved with her and her brother's argument may not go well for you.” Ben warned, recalling a simple argument concerning his wedding Sophie and her brother had and he got involved in, causing it to flare more. “They are both adults.”

Tom sighed. “I just feel like it's a big mess over nothing really.”

“You think she should just take it?”

“I offered to pay her father back and we just send Lily there ourselves but that's not acceptable either. It's an incredible school, Lily will thrive there but Lexi is stubborn about other people paying.”

“Yes, my publicist, her granddaughter goes there. She raves about the place, swears it's the best school in Britain. Lily is a smart child, and I agree that she should be given this opportunity.” Ben agreed. “I understand Alexianna's hesitation but this is about doing what's right for that little girl and the best is the best and when that is an option, it should be taken. If her father is a prick then why not accept this if there's an option to not speak with him, they deserve this much from him if that's the case.”

Tom nodded slightly before smiling brightly. “Is it time for cake?” He asked as Alexianna came over, looking between the men warily as though worried she was interrupting them.

“Not yet, they have another ten minutes or so of playtime. I'm not walking in on a private conversation, am I?”

“No, Ben and I were discussing the situation with Hampstead Hill.” Tom confessed, deciding to brave the truth.

Alexianna bit her lips together and nodded before looking to Ben and noticing his features and what they indicated. “You think we should accept it?” She asked.

Benedict was slightly taken back at her asking for his opinion. “Honestly, for Lily's education, yes. If this was our situation, I would. I have been told some back story and all things considered because it is her education, I would do it.”

“Thank you, for your honest blunt answer.” Alexianna smiled a small smile before looking at Tom. “I got a message from Daniel, could you facetime him for the part where we sing “Happy Birthday” please? My camera has a crack through it so it looks terrible.”

“Of course.” Tom nodded, knowing it to be true with having tried to facetime her while away.

“Thank you.” She took the cardigans to bring over to the table. “If you see the Loopers, tell them how long they have only a bit of time left. Benedict, I have not had time to say much to you, thank you for bringing the boys. They are lovely and adorable.” She smiled as she looked at Hal who seemed to realise he was being spoken about and looked up at them with a bright smile.

“Thank you for inviting them.”

“Tom said that Lily enjoyed Christopher's company and she asks to see him at least once a week.”

Ben smiled proudly. “He is a great kid.”

“He is.”

“This is actually a great idea, hiring this place for a party, I didn't realise they did this.” He looked around the play centre.

“I thought it best to not have things overly public, it's a great idea.” Alexianna agreed before seeing Sophia and Lily running towards her. “Hey girls.”

“Mummy, do you know how you and Daddy said I am not allowed a little brother or sister?” Lily began.

Alexianna and Tom looked at one another, knowing that this conversation could go anywhere, Benedict looking at his friend with a mixture of shock and amusement. “It was not as basic as that but yes, I remember telling you that you won't be getting one, and I am scared to ask why?”

“Well, Aunty Sarah told Sophia she can't have one either and since we both can't have one, can we be each other's sisters?”

“Sure, go nuts.” Alexianna agreed, not wanting to deal with the madness of their innocence to how being siblings actually worked. “As long as you don't start bickering at nothing, then have at it.”

They squealed with joy before Lily turned and rushed into Tom's arms, something he was used to and prepared for. “Daddy?”

“Yes, Princess?” She said nothing but kissed his cheek. Tom looked at her and smiled lovingly before she cuddled in against him tightly.

When she got back down she looked at her mother. “Can I call Uncle Dan?”

“Daniel's at sea right now, love.” Her mum explained. “We'll send a message to him later, okay?”

“Okay.” Lily accepted, knowing there was nothing she could do to change her uncle's current status. “When he and Anna have a baby, will that be my cousin?”

Alexianna shook her head in exasperation. “If Uncle Dan becomes a dad then yes, that baby is your cousin, but that involves Uncle Dan becoming a Daddy to happen.”

Lily erupted in laughter. “Uncle Dan would be a silly Daddy.”

“I'm sure he'd appreciate that. Now, birthday girl, cake time.” The two girls looked at each other before erupting in cheers and squeals.

It took several coaxings by Tom to get Alexianna to allow herself be in video footage and pictures with her daughter but he succeeded in doing so. He reminded her of the girl of old who smiled at photos with his sister and their family and reminded her that Lily would want to see happy pictures of her mother from her childhood, to not have some would concern the child in years to come. Accepting such, she sat with her daughter. Tom was included in a few also, Ben noting that he never looked happier.

That evening, Tom took the call from Daniel and allowed Lily facetime from his phone as well as send the pictures and videos from the day to him. Alexianna chose the moment she realised it was her brother on the phone to go for a shower, something that was not missed. Dan gave Tom a small message to give his sister before saying his goodbyes.

When Lily was settled into bed, Tom looked for Alexianna, who was packing the last few things they needed for their holidays the next day. “Dan knows you're avoiding him.”

“Has he figured out why?”

“Yes, and he told me to tell you that he understands but the dates for application had been exceeded already and they had one chance to start her on time in September and he will accept your anger until you see it is what is best for her and that was his only motivation.” Tom recited.

“Do you think it is best for her?” Alexianna asked.

“If you recall, I am the one that started this particular snowball.”

“But you think I should do this for her?”

“Lexi, I understand your reasoning but for Lily, with everything that has happened, I think it the only good choice, I really do. Talking it over with Ben today, he mirrored my thoughts on it also.”

She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. “Thank you for your honesty.”

“You keep saying that like a politician and if I am honest, it is slightly concerning.”

“I am trying to see if my thoughts are completely different from other people's to decide what to do.” She admitted.

“And?”

“I will think about it this week and decide then. Maybe the time away with some distance, I may get clarity.”

Tom pulled her to him and kissed her head. “That's a good plan I think.”

[maptoourescape]

Hi I just wanted to say I love your blog and I love the way you display Tom's thoughts and mentality. I wanted to ask what do you think about this whole situation with Tom, is it hard to keep roleplaying him and to reenact his thoughts when he has been acting so unusual lately? Do you think he is happy? Keep up the great work! ^^

INTRO &DISCLAIMERNow what I am going to tell you is obviously just how I see the situationpersonally. This might not be the representation of reality whatsoever, eventhough I’d like to think I’m a good judge of character. I don’t know thesepeople. They are, by all means, strangers to me as I am to them. But I DIDhappen to grow up with them, observe them through years of footage, and seemany of their quirks in real life as well whenever I had a fortunateopportunity. Saying that, I feel like even though their stage personas (orwhatever you might call them) are “built strong” sometimes, you can still peekright through them if you have enough of a “people sense”.Look, most folks probably realize that Tom isn’t all that he gives out to be,but they don’t really think about it all TOO much. And honestly, I don’t either- it just comes naturally for me to psychologically evaluate people. And myevaluation of him is that he is full of unresolved issues.I don’t even mean that in a bad way, I really don’t. I just want all the bestfor him. But let’s just say that seeing how his life was up until now, thereare multiple factors that play out in his current “out of character” behavior. Toa certain extent, I can also relate to him in some regard. Similarly to him forexample, I too use a weird sort of humor to hide behind, almost as though it’smy shield, so none of what I’m saying is said in a judgmental manner. We all haveour own issues after all, and that doesn’t make us any lesser.BUT FIRST THING’S FIRSTTalking about humor, let’s just get straight into it, because we have to startsomewhere… Humor is a stress relief weapon by its poetic definition. In Tom’scase, it isn’t any different – only maybe he takes that a few steps further,still. More than just as a casual thing, his jokes are also being used to takethe edge away from what he considers to be serious and/or emotionally intangiblesituations. Why? Because Tom doesn’t appear to be someone who would like to“show his real self” to people in a situation he can’t properly evaluate,unless he knew for SURE they are to be trusted. In other words – he doesn’twant “the emotion that would be shown from him” to be used as a weapon againsthim later on, especially if he doesn’t know what kind of a reaction to expect from thecounterpart. “If you appear vulnerable, this same vulnerability is going to beused against you” is the mentality here – that’s a lesson of sorts that he’s probably learned how to incorporatein his daily life at a very young age already. So deflecting a lot of shit withhumor is basically an act of protecting himself. Same with his manly-manboasting, and all the confident penis commentary, which many people look at justsuperficially, saying that it’s trashy and/or annoying – even though what itreally turns out to be, in my opinion, is a (not all that uncommon) copingmechanism. So the next thing you’d ask would probably be “but what on earth is he copingwith then?” I guess it would be probably safer to ask what he isn’t coping withat this point, because we’re talking about a bunch of things here, all muddledtogether in one big ball of anxiety. Main things to highlight probably include a)fear of abandonment, b) some art of repressed self-consciousness, c) some weird(intrigue by and a fear having lack of?) dominance issue and etc. all the wayto the last letter of the alphabet.I’d say it all started in childhood with his father leaving and being, as faras we know, generally problematic (because honestly, that fucks us divorceekids all up, and it’s so internalized that we don’t even really realize ituntil it hits us in the face as adults, when we are suddenly facing multipledaddy issues all at once lol). Maybe even beforehand, depends on what sort of anupbringing the twins’ parents decided to give them. Then we have the general yearsof complete hell, also generally known as the school days, full of bullies and nasty youngadults with too much time on their hands. We all know the baseball bat stories –need I go into further detail? Then comes the growing up under the spotlight,of course – the unusual puberty they had to go through, as Gustav so nicely putit in the documentary – and being pushed into a harsh ass business at such ayoung age… just basically dealing with a bunch of stuff that kids usually haveno place dealing with, and maybe learning some lessons that normal people onlyget to really learn in their 20s or 30s. Namely how it is to be working with allthe wrong people, and probably having at least some sort of taste of a betrayalon a professional, working level etc.If there is one thing, one lesson that ties all of these separate life erastogether to make a nice whole, it’s one of how you have to be careful aroundpeople, and how forming trusting relationships isn’t a very simple task,whatsoever. Between parents leaving, peers bullying you, media shitting on youand the industry silently pulling their own strings behind your back – oh, andhave I mentioned stalkers and the literal walls they had to build around theirhouse in order to keep them at bay? which didn’t work anyway because their private space WAS invaded by gross people? – I guess you pretty damn quicklystart losing your naïveté. Or well, if not that, at least your trust in prettymuch anyone that hasn’t been with you since the very, very beginning.And then comes, obviously, the relationship he had with Ria.Now, again, everything I’m saying is based purely on my speculation from mereobservation. I don’t actually know any of the people they associate with either.But the vibe I got from his relationship with Ria was honestly… not that bad inthe beginning. I think that, at least at the start, she was really, really goodfor him. And that he got even more attached to her eventually, because she wasthere when he emotionally needed her most (read: the big move to the USA,stalker problems and lack of motivation to keep being in a band from all thepressure…). I also think that he kind of thought this relationship was really“it”, you know? As years went on though, just as any other relationship, theirsseemed to have become this sort of “routine” as well. And we all know that feeling, don’twe? If not from our own experience, then from some of our friends’ experiencesat least? The feeling when the stomach butterflies die down, and the initialeuphoria just settles into a still?My take on it is that he really, REALLY tried a LOT to make it work, even afterit sort of started “crumbing down” for whatever reason. I feel like he feltsuper comfortable with her BECAUSE they’ve been together for so long. Maybe itbecame a sort of a routine for him too, but it was one he definitely sought toupkeep. Tom didn’t want to let go of her. Because ruining what he had with herwould mean “having to find someone new”. And “having to find someone new” wouldmean “having to open up to someone again” – something that isn’t all that easyfor him to do, for the already before mentioned reasons.Pretty sure we all know about some infidelity speculations being rumored tohave been going down between them as well, especially from her side. Andhonestly, that would explain a thing or two about how his behavior has changedin the time ever since they’ve officially broken up. I obviously do not knowthe specifics, but I’ll be damned if I don’t realize it takes two in order toa) form a relationship, but also b) in order to not fix it if it goes south.Doubtlessly, none of the two was a complete saint. And doubtlessly they bothhave their own character flaws. But though dubious in its legitimacy, hersupposed infidelity really ties well with what’s happening right now, in thismoment. Just think about it… Yet another massive betrayal. Another one of themassive disappointments he experienced along his life’s journey. This onecoming from someone he perhaps even considered to be his (other) life partner.Only now that we got the mere basics down can I finally start bringing upShermine, and the point of this entire conversation anyway: his “change” asbrought up with his dynamic with Heidi. Because I really think that in order toproperly understand why I think this Klum relationship is toxic, you firstneeded my quick review of “the entire story”.BACK TO THE POINT AT HAND NOW I don’t think the Shermine relationship was honestly all that different fromthe one Tom has with Heidi now. I can’t claim to know the reasons why itprobably “didn’t all work out with Sher” (besides the obvious fact that thiswas never a relationship in its full meaning of the word, but rather just whatpeople usually call “an affair”), but it might have been them just beingseparated by where they lived and what not – or maybe also Shermine seeing howmuch of a “child” Tom really was in certain regards. It’s not like she was thisperfect example of maturity either, mind you, having to constantly post hintsabout how she’s together with him and what not, but at the end of the day, Isort of feel she got more tired of HIS bullshit than vice versa. And by “hisbullshit” (again, not meant to be judging) I mean this strange passivity that has been surrounding him recently (examples and explanations coming up). If someone on twitter now points out how “unlikeTom it is to let Heidi post on social media about him,” another person then instantlyyells out saying “why do you care, if he apparently doesn’t care anymoreeither!”And to me, it is exactly THAT that is the concerning factor anyway.People are, in a strange way, right when they shout “Tom doesn’t care aboutbeing public anymore!” but they don’t look deep enough into it to see theproblem behind it. Yes, it’s true – if Tom wouldn’t want to be posted on socialmedia, then his old enough, almost 29 year old ass could’ve just told Heidi to NOTfucking do it. So yeah, you know what? Most probably, he’s NOT stopping her.But him “not being bothered to go against it” doesn’t mean he’s automaticallyokay with it. Those two are not mutually exclusive. What I see in his behavior right now - that is also something that’s seemingly been there forever since he’s been hooking up with Shermine too - is mindlessness, carelessnessand a complete disregard for what he used to stand for in regards to his “morals”.May I note that I can also see he has this sort of complete disregard abouthimself floating around as well? He appears to be very passive, and seems asthough he really just isn’t putting any thought into… well, pretty muchanything he’s doing… like ANYTHING, whatsoever. And yes, I realize that “people can change,” and that Tom too could’ve just aseasily had a spiritual awakening, and was suddenly like “you know what, I’m NOTgonna stress about being on social media that much anymore, and I’m NOT goingto stress about being in the press…”. But the thing is – these sorts of thingsdon’t just happen overnight. Especially not with the life he’s been leading andhow much it’s been fucking him up along the way at times. You don’t go fromwanting complete privacy because of your own very legitimate paranoia, to goingto an Amfar Whatever Gala event in front of millions of press to out yourrelationship, just like he did. You don’t go from avoiding cameras as much ashumanly possible to vacantly stare at a paparazzi’s Canon in the distance inorder to see if it’s getting the right shot of you and your new so calledgirlfriend. This sort of mental change CAN obviously happen. But overtime, and usually– dare I suggest? – with therapy (which we are bringing back up later). By myinterpretation of how he is as a person though, I don’t think this “transition”was something that happened in an exactly healthy way. More than seeing Tom as “careless but happy,” (as people paint him out to be), Iright now see him as being “careless and confused”. Numb, even. Out of placeAnd “out of place” is a phrase to describe him best when it comes to how helooks like as soon as Heidi’s around.VAGUELY EXPLAINED CAMP EXPERIENCE INSERTI’ve been there on this Camp, and the way he reacted to literally everything –people, his surroundings, most everything you can imagine – changed bizarrelyas soon as he knew she was around. It’s almost like he was being nearbypetrified. I have no idea why either. One would think that if you’re datingHeidi Klum, you’d want to show her off or something. Or at least be ascomfortable with her as on (play pretend or not) all those paparazzi photos that keep popping up. Especiallywhen literally NONE of the campers really cared for her presence there, so it wasn’t like he was afraid for her wellbeing or whatever. So no, no psycho had the intention to attack her, literally no one cared, but Tom still just turned into this… anxious little mess?Mind you, when I saw her arrive, my mind was also still open. I was like, “ya knowwhat, all of their other family and friends are being so lovely – Georg’s gf who justjoined in on the activities, and Gustav’s wife too, just supporting her hubbyand speaking to the fans… maybe Heidi’s going to prove everyone wrong and bereally lovely”. But honestly, from the moment she entered the Camping grounds, you couldFEEL the atmosphere drop.Never mind the fact that she was having a stare-down with many fans (includingmyself) for no apparent reason, which I still do not understand… From where Iwas sitting, she was making it very damn obvious she wanted to just “geteveryone’s attention”. Her glares were basically daring us “to go spread theword that she arrived”, and when we wouldn’t care (because surprise surprise,we weren’t there for her, so obviously no one really cared?) she would stare atus even weirder. But as I said, that in itself isn’t all that important. What Ineed to convey is how insanely uncomfortable TOM appeared to be when she wasaround.(As a side note, I also feel like we all kinda expected a huge ass party to godown on the last day of Camp, seeing how on the previous few days, the guyswould kinda leave at latest 2 in the morning – which made sense, becauseeveryone knew they were gonna have responsibilities the next day. But literallynothing was planned for Monday morning, and I felt like everyone was superpumped about the guys finally having an opportunity to party with us reallylong and really proper. Only, you know, that never really happened. And I daresay it was mainly because of Klum.)I digress, at some point of the evening after the firework finale, the twins actually came tothe counter in order to hang out with people (after they’ve left to refresh first, leaving people confused as to if they were even returning), and I thought “Yay, maybe they’ve actually joined us again to party like everyone kinda expected, so that’s great!”. But no suchluck. It was there exactly - at the counter - where the difference of how Tomis without her around VS when she IS around became so prominent. Only a nightearlier, the guys would stay behind the counter for AGES, just interacting,taking pictures, drinking, having a good time… on Sunday, they weren’t therefor even 10 minutes, before leaving towards a backstage area of sorts. I sawher being at the counter for a while as well, with literally no one botheringher whatsoever, but she eventually disappeared, initially making me think “Oh, maybeshe’ll just mingle with people, go chat up Georg’s GF or something… maybe thisevening is actually gonna be bomb!”. But her leaving simply resulted in Tom REPEATEDLYpressing Bill into “going to the backstage area”.Tom looked NOTHING like the night before. He was TRYING to interact with somefans, but was mostly just looking really out of place. It happened on at least3 separate occasions in those short ten minutes, that he would poke Bill atevery opportunity he got, just to press him into going to the stage area. Hekept on elbowing Bill whenever the other would turn around to get somethingfrom the fridge, pointing to the stage, looking vaguely lost, not really payingproper attention to his surroundings. Bill was visibly giving hints that he “wantedto just stay for a while longer,” even going as far as showing Tom his drink asthough he were to say “lemme at least finish this first?” until Tom eventuallyprevailed and they actually decided to move to where she was – to the infamousbackstage area. Again, I thought that maybe they had plans on going on stage to the DJs again(seeing how they did that on the nights before), maybe give one last propergoodbye to people before mingling in the crowd some further. But that neverhappened. Honestly, thinking back on it, it was kind of bizarre to think theyjust huddled up in the little space behind the stage. They wouldn’t even pull acurtain to have some sort of privacy – if you went behind the stage, you couldliterally just see them interact there, being all secluded from the rest of thepeople. More secluded than on the previous day when it was raining cats anddogs but they STILL made the effort to just hang around with all of us! The situation lefta bitter taste in my mouth, because at that point I KNEW that if she wasn’tthere, the party would have been so insanely different, so insanely cool. Ifelt bad for Bill, who was just longingly looking onto the stage, taking videosof it – he gave off the vibe that we wanted to go party, but (for some bizarrereason) “couldn’t”. It felt as though hedecided he would rather stick to the out-of-place-looking Tom, which Ihonestly, at the end of the day, can’t really blame him for.Not even half an hour later, the golf carts arrived to pick them up, and that washonestly so strange to observe too. Not even once in the whole entire weekend did Ihave a feeling of them rushing anywhere. Whenever the boys would arrive orleave with the carts, whenever they’d change locations, they would always honkand scream around, letting everyone know what they were up to, shooting people with water pistols if in range even. But suddenly then, the golf cart had topark backwards towards the stage in order for them to “have a clear and quickstart”. There was no honking, no proper goodbyes we were used to from theearlier days. They just kinda… drove off. And I know for a damn FACT that itwouldn’t have been like that if it wouldn’t be for her. I wish this would just be me – that this would just be a plot of my own damnimagination. Because I WISH she wasn’t a cunt, for Tom’s sake obviously. But Ihave talked to a bunch of people, and they have all had their separateexperiences, most of which only furthermore confirmed how I see the situation. Factsare these: 1. Heidi was there for the obvious reason of getting our (thefans’), as well as the media’s attention. 2. She was acting all high andmighty, as well as really possessive (even jealous at some moments, which is sosuper bizarre to think about), and it wasn’t a good look. 3. And I don’t knowwhy EXACTLY, but as soon as she was around, Tom ALWAYS sort of froze on spot.Look, I don’t know, maybe he’s just intrigued by that sort of dynamic and getsoff on it, and just doesn’t want to publically admit that he “likes herdemanding demeanor”. But yo, even if that was the case – at the end of the day thatdoesn’t make the whole relationship any less toxic. OKAY, TO THE CORE NOWShe has subtle manipulation tactics down to the T. I can tell, because I knowhow to use those in my advantage as well. And you’ve probably had this happento you too, mostly without even realizing it. It comes to the surface in a waywhere some parents make their kids feel bad for “not cleaning up the dishes”for example. Instead of demanding “it gets done because otherwise they’ll beconsequences”, some choose the more toxic approach of emotional manipulation,saying things like “don’t worry, it’s fine, what’s another hour more to my nineto five working schedule anyway?” It’s in the way that one friend of yours says“oh okay” without a smiley face when you cancel on going out with them. It’swhen something comes out of people’s mouths, and the meaning is dubious.Something that is meant to make you walk the line between “but is it reallyokay?” and “I feel uncomfortable that you feel uncomfortable, so let me help”.  Her entire presence just screams that demeanor,and I don’t doubt I’m right in this. She probably even pulled something like that in that counter scenario I was talking about too, going like “oh you go hang out with fans, I’ll just be there… having my drink…” The question now remains if Tom is oblivious to these attitudes or not.Honestly, both yes and no seem like a legitimate answer to me in this case.Neither of the twins seem to really be capable of a good “evaluation” when itcomes to perception in regards to human character. They’re not short inadmitting that themselves either, and said it numerous times that this is whysongs like “Never let you down” happened to exist in the first place. But italso makes sense if we again tie it with the fact that they had a puberty muchunlike ours is. Meeting people was always sort of arranged in their world, so gettingto know someone spontaneously isn’t really an experience that’s been followingthem ever since they were socially capable of “making their own friends”. Can’tsay that that’s a concept that’s completely alien to them, having lived in theUSA for so long now and what not, but we also can’t say they have as many experiences withit as someone who had a “normal lifestyle” either.I’d say Tom is intelligent enough to realize what’s going on, but simply toonumb to do anything about it. What’s more, maybe he even enjoys this sort ofdynamic.“But why,” you might ask “would anyone enjoy this sort of manipulative dynamic?”Honestly, I feel what he likes about it is that someone’s taking away hisresponsibilities to himself. It basically feels as though you’re giving the reins to your insides into the possession of someone else - someone who you feel can makethe most out of them when you obviously couldn’t. And even if they couldn’t exactly “makethe best out of it” – Tom’s been steering himself for too long, only torepeatedly be faced with complete disappointment on the roads he’s taken. It’snot like he cares what happens anymore, as long as he gets to feel at leastsomewhat at peace. So why not let someone else “take his life into their ownhands”? Why not be the follower of someone who seems to not be bothered by literallyeverything he usually stands against? Someone who seemingly had more luck inlearning about how to cope with this reality that is “being famous and beingshat on”.My conclusion drawn from what I’ve experienced and heard is that she “keeps himon a short leash,” while simultaneously trying to boost her own importance andego as they go. From what I see, he is being very much so infatuated with her,but I wouldn’t dare calling that love by any means. Yet another heated affair,if anything. I think he really lost himself along the way of people fucking himup in his life (especially since the breakup he had with Ria), so he isn’treally thinking straight anymore at all. He’s just going with the flow, doingwhatever the fuck he wants to, fucking whoever the fuck he wants to, and hasthis little rebellious side of him tell him to “fuck the rest”.Which WOULD be a good thing – fuck the haters, imma do my thing and stuff… Onlyif he wouldn’t be doing it out of all the wrong reasons. Namely what seems tobe a desperate attempt and need to just “change himself for the better” because“he isn’t a weak ass motherfucker”.I feel like he has quite some problems with the concept of vulnerability. He has this sort of a persona built up which he strives to be, but really isn’t– basically a sort of an alpha male persona – and right now, he’s probably sofar off in his head, that he just wants to desperately fit this picture perfectimage of himself, no matter how many broken pieces are waiting for him to berepaired on the inside. He wants to prove that “he’s better and stronger” tohimself, as well as to everyone around him. He’s ignoring his issues, pushingthem aside, thinking that “ignoring” his problems is better than to face them,“because after all, facing them only ever brought him pain and anguish anyway”…But holdingthings inside like that, suppressing all the negatives by all means necessary…I think most people realize how bad this can get – a person turning into aliving ticking time bomb that can be triggered into an explosion at any time. Hemight be feeling happy now, in this moment of bliss he’s created for himself,just ignoring everything that’s been eating away at him from the inside, neverletting it surface. But you can only keep your demons at bay for so long,before they come haunting you again, with even more vigor.Prolonging the inevitable in this way is pretty much the most horrible idea onthe long run you can have. But Tom isn’t thinking on the long run. He’s thinking “peaceof mind, now, or I’m gonna lose it”.I don’t know what it is that triggered this “obsession to be okay”. Maybe hewants to be spiteful to Ria. Maybe he wants to prove to her “how much betteroff he can be without her” and “what a changed and open man he has become”.Maybe it’s not even Ria. Maybe he just can’t deal with being without SOME sortof a sexual partner, because it makes him feel like a failure. Maybe he cravesa sort of intimacy he used to have, but is now gone, so he fills his time withwhat he thinks is “second best”. Who knows. It could be a number of things, andmany more than I can probably never even think of.At the end of the line, my personal perception of what he’s doing is that it’s –and I’ve repeated myself in this wordall too many times now – toxic. No matter the reason why he’s doing it. I thinkhe would be better off alone for a while, and, if not getting therapy, at leastletting himself have some breathing space, and just give himself a second toheal from whatever is gnawling at him. Heal from whatever seems to be “pushinghim” from the inside to be this perfect ideal self he so desperately seems towant to be. AND BEFORE I FINISHLet us just quickly dive into this one last important element of this dynamic –namely where Bill comes in, and how it all comes together at the end of the day. If we assume I am at least vaguely correct in my interpretationof things, it’s obvious that there’s no way in hell that Bill would be blind to somethingnot being entirely as it “should be” with Tom. Clearly if even we as fans can perceiveTom as being out of character, how on earth would then his twin miss it?Doubtlessly, no matter the partnership any of the two had/have with anotherperson, it will always affect BOTH twins in one way or another.So how do we explain this undying enthusiasm Bill seems to be sprouting everytime Heidi posts yet another picture of Tom on her social media.Well, there’s a few rough possibilities I see here.1. First would of course be realizing that social media is meant to feed uscontent that isn’t always the exact representation of how the reality is. Whoknows if Bill’s endless heart emojis really are as heartfelt as we imagine themto be in the first place. But I digress. I sincerely think Bill’s not fakinghis enthusiasm. Most of all because his idolizing when it comes to Heidi reallyseems to know no bounds. Which leads me straight into the more possible optionnumber two.

2. Billsort of admiring and romanticizing the relationship Tom and Heidi have – to thepoint where he thinks Tom feeling out of place is just sort of his imagination…Because “how in the world could this picture perfect scenario ever be hidingsomething less than PERFECT”. Bill is like that – the romanticizing idealist.And I bet he has this one picture in his head of how Heidi is, and doesn’tstray from it, even if there’s weird signs that she might not be all heimagines, and no matter what other people might suggest in order to persuadehim. Stubborn. The twins are so. Damn. Stubborn.3. What I imagine most – or well, wish to imagine, hoping that Bill isn’t toolost in his ideals in regards to Heidi – is that Bill actually tried talking toTom about what’s wrong, but Tom refusing to tell him, continuously saying that“all is fine” as he probably does so many times with his manly-manpersona up. And then Bill letting it slide, just being as happy as possible forhim, even though he knows something’s up. Because what else is he to do anyway?STUBBORN, REMEMBER?

Whatever itmight be – at the end of the day it’s really sort of exhausting how the twinsjust give each other concession over and over again. Recently, an old interviewresurfaced where they talked about how “they don’t need therapy, because theyhave each other”. Well, with both of them so stubborn and both of them so damnproud, with both of them being unable to take a sincere word of advice as anythingbut a personal attack… Of course they prefer each other over someone else withperspective. Because a therapist would not massage their egos as they do to oneanother. A therapist wouldn’t let them drown in pity and join in on their spitelike it’s their own. Because that wouldn’t resolve anything.Relying solely on someone that is also really similarly fucked up might makeyou not feel alone, but it sure as hell won’t drag you out of shit. They’re eachother’s excuse, constantly, probably unknowingly only dragging each other downwhen it’s really bad. Instead of telling the other “no, you need to dosomething about yourself, you’ve been down in the gutter for too long”they probably just go “yes, that person did a horrible thing, and I’llcontinue hate them with you while we wallow in our joined self-pity”. Whatthey would need is to challenge each other more, and not just give one anothermore silent vigor to just stay miserable…OUTROBut, hey, this is where I stop babbling, even though I feel I didn’t evenremotely scrape the surface, or tell everything that’s been building up insideme lately.I’ve been debating with myself if I should really go into such excruciating detailregarding my thoughts on Tom – mostly because I don’t think traumas ofdescribed sort are something to discuss online in such a manner, no matter if true or not. In a way, Ifeel protective, because the mere potential of my thoughts being correct gives me a nasty feeling of this being a text of “exposure”. Butthen again, the internet is getting too loud with their weakly argumentedopinions, and people don’t seem to take in account that this human being hasbeen through shit a lot of us can’t even remotely imagine. So I settled foreducation. I wanted to maybe build perspective for someone who hasn’t beenthinking about this all too much.I mean at the end of the day, worst case scenario is that I’m right, but that I’vestill built some sort of perspective for people who think that “Tom’s just a fuckboi”.And best case scenario is that I’m simply overthinking everything anyway, andthat he IS actually just simply happy. In which case, ya know, I’m really,truly happy for him.At the end of the day, that’s exactly what I want, and this is exactly why Iover think it – because I want nothing but the best for all four of these idiots (as said lovingly, of course). So to finally answer your very prevailing question:Do I think Tom’s happy?Solely superficially. Really, properly happy? Alas, I doubt it.Do I want to be wrong?Abso-fucking-lutely.Thank youfor your time, if you by chance came back to find my ass finally thinking of a proper response. It really has been a long time coming.Love,Tina

[timeisacephalopod]

1, 4, 5, 8, 9

Oh gosh, I’m so sorry these questions turned into essays D:

1. What was the first Marvel film you’ve ever watched?

The Avengers, and I didn’t like it lmao. I was like… seventeen maybe? A friend had worked really hard to get me to watch it and I found it boring. A big problem was Steve- I just found him boring and I had no context for Tony or the rest of the Avengers so I was like ok, superhero people do shit. Boring. When I got into it later (starting with the First Avenger) the film made more sense to me and felt less bleh minus Steve, but that’s because Whedon can’t fucking write him for shit not because of the character.

4. Who’s your favourite Marvel superhero and why?

Boi if you don’t know Tony Stark is my fav then I don’t know what to tell ya lol. But I’m assuming you asked for the why not the who. So as a general thing I don’t like heroes. They’re all ‘we do the right thing always because we’re The Most Morally Correct Always’. Its not relatable- I’m straight up not that good of a person, no one is in my opinion, and their stories all follow the same boring arcs (Steve Rogers fits this personality type and arc very well post skinny!Steve until the latest MCU movies. But Superman is another very good example, and to a lesser extent Harry Potter too).

Point is these characters don’t interest me because A- I can’t relate to being The Best Ever, B- they’re fucking boring and invite zero conflict or character development if they’re already perfect, and C- their villains tend to have way more interesting backstories, motivations, and character arcs. Also villains tend to be coded as minorities (ie, Ursula from The Little Mermaid being based of a drag queen) so between the more interesting arcs, personalities, conflicts, and minority coded status I’ve always preferred the villain. I can relate to Magneto, who has a terrible goal but for a heartbreaking and even understandable reason. I understand him in a way I can never understand a Superman type. He’s an anti-hero I know, but villains are always more interesting because their motivation isn’t always Its The Right Thing with no other explanation as to why or how its right, which could be compelling but isn’t ever written. And villains never start on a basis of perfection, effectively killing any and all development of character.

And then I watched Iron Man. Not only is Tony Stark a fucking disaster and a high functioning one at that, but he’s not always a good person. Its not that he means to hurt people, but he does, and then he learns. He makes mistakes, he sometimes doesn’t see it right away, and when he does he tries not to repeat his behavior to avoid making those mistakes again. Tony is the first hero I’ve seen that’s not supposed to be an anti-hero that does this. For the first time I got to watch a hero that isn’t perfect, but he’s trying to do good even when he fails at it. Then he tries and tries again. Heroes never get those arcs because they tend to be built on perfection, but Tony is what a hero would look like in the real world- he’s tangible. 

Not only that but there’s so much about him that I find relatable beyond his general hero arc. He’s sort of an asshole because its easier to hold people at an arms length than it is to let people in, he has trust issues, daddy issues, mental health problems that people don’t necessarily see, and he hides his true nature under sarcasm and jokes. These are all traits I find in myself too, but ones I don’t typically find in heroes, not to the extent they’re written with Tony anyways. Again Tony is the first hero I’ve ever come across who has personality traits that don’t always translate to ‘perfect person all the time no matter what’. He’s a regular man with a real world personality trying his best even if he does have exaggerated traits (like his intelligence, especially, which is where most of his heroism extends from). And underneath all that he’s compassionate, caring, and generous not that he allows people to see that often.

TL;DR: Tony Stark is the first hero I saw with an actual personality you’d find in the real world and he isn’t always perfect, which i found relatable and compelling.

5. Who’s your least favourite Marvel superhero and why?

This is actually a pretty hard question. There are plenty of MCU characters I care about very little, and some I like a lot but hate the way they’re handled, and some that are just fucking irrelevant so I’ll list 3 for 3 different reasons.

1- Clint Barton. I read Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye (and some of his other work- check him out!) and loved Hawkeye. Then I watched shit ass MCU Hawkeye and he’s a fucking OC with Clint’s name. He’s an asshole, his motivations make no sense, I don’t like Jermey Renner as a person or an actor, and I fucking hated that family in Age of Ultron because it makes no sense and doesn’t fit into the rest of the universe. So I like Clint, but not fuckin MCU Clint because nothing about him makes sense.

2- Wanda. I love what she could be and her powers are so compelling and unlike most Tony fans I sympathize with her wanting him dead (but don’t understand why she chose him over the people who dropped the bomb, the terrorists in her country, or at least doesn’t hold blame in other wider structures that influenced her parent’s death like military personal, the POTUS, etc). Anyways- I like what Wanda could be, but not what she is. She whines and cries about being treated like a child while simutaniously throwing a temper tantrum, apparently doesn’t put as much or potentially even more blame on Viz for being complicit in Tony’s (shitty- no excuse for this) choice to keep her on the compound all because romance angle? And while I sympathize with her not wanting to hurt Viz in IW, that’s a horrible position to be in, I don’t understand why she didn’t at least try and feel out a solution to save him while also destroying the stone until they made Shuri do it. One person you care about versus half the universe? That’s fucking harsh, I’d never want to be there, but I’m certain I could never be that selfish. So I lose someone I care about, half the universe doesn’t get to feel the same way. That’s a win.

There’s a lot about her I do like though, and I’ll explore that again out of the context of World War Me, but as she stands her motivations and character actions don’t make a lot of sense to me and it feels contrived just for plot points. She gets the shit end of the stick and I’m convinced its linked to misogyny- its not like characters who aren’t women get shunted like that Bruce Banner aside (one time versus Wanda’s entire character story).

3- Steve Rogers. Now don’t get me wrong, in the recent movies he’s gone through some development- in CW he didn’t even have an argument, he dropped his shield for Bucky, and then when he shows back up his speech to Ross is such a fuckin asshole thing to say/ do and its so disrespectful (and the fact that I care what he says to ROSS is saying something, but that’s due to the wider implications and the fact that Steve would 100% say that to him pending alien invasion or no, not because its an emergency that influences why I even care). Anyways- his negative development is actually interesting! He is a character based in perfection and he’s gotten this amazing storyline that’s made him selfish and sometimes also callus and cruel. That’s compelling, and his motivations! Amazing! 

There’s so much the MCU can do with a man who can’t adjust to the future, has PTSD, and doesn’t know how to handle being in a moral situation that doesn’t have a clear right answer- and it shows. To me these things are interesting, sometimes noble, and profoundly selfish in a way that actually makes a lot of sense considering the context and is a super interesting take on a character that’s usually Perfect And Right All The Time. But instead of actually exploring his motivations, actions, and negative character development the MCU AND the fans treat him as this perfect dude who can do no wrong. This is fucking stupid- the guy is on a downward spiral into who fuckin knows what and instead of exploring this loss of identity, morality, and sense of self he’s treated as the moral compass! Are you fucking kidding me! This shit is so much more compelling than just making the dude right because you’re too fucking lazy to actually write him an argument and a reason behind it. And not acknowledging his negative development and giving me an interesting story (finally) about a hero who’s always been perfect and just shoving him back into his Morally Perfect Always™ role instead of exploring him in new, compelling ways personally victimizes me. So fuck the MCU for that and fuck the idiot fans (god that’s bitter, sorry) who think he’s a true moral compass when at this point none of them are- and that’s ok. That’s interesting to explore, creates conflict, and creates story.

This just makes me want to write a character study of Steve tbh. Maybe I will. He’ll actually get to go on a journey of his negative development then, and then come back from it in a meaningful way rather than just handed the Being Right Award that the lazy writers gave him.

Another TL;DR- Clint sucks because he sucks, but Steve and Wanda could have been so much more if the writers weren’t jackasses.

8. Who’s the strongest Avenger?

Wanda lmao. No argument there, the only one who even stood a chance against her is Vision and she put him down easily too. Which is why I think she’s so interesting, but no, she gets handed stupid contrived storylines based in a romance no one cares about instead of exploring her power, origin story, motivations, and further development.

But yeah, no arguing that she’s the strongest Avenger as far as raw power goes.

9. Any underrated Avenger? Any overrated Avenger?

Underrated avenger: Rhodey my dudes. First of all he’s a decently fleshed out, interesting character. Then you have this interesting background of him knowing the military isn’t really perfect but still maintaining his interest in the military and being complicit in some of its actions, which I think is super compelling and I’d like the MCU to explore that further. Plus you’ve got his intelligence in engineering, his strategical genius, his loyalty, his compassion- he’s just a great dude. He’s sassy too, which is always a plus. But then you get these weird moments in the MCU where they go back on his characterization- like in IM3 where he basically tells Tony to get over himself after a panic attack. That’s so OOC- firstly even if he’s never seen a panic attack (doubtful, in the military) he’s a naturally compassionate guy, and especially so to Tony. So where the fuck was that? You will never convince me that there’s a solid reason for that- he spent 3 fuckin months tracking his best friend down only to tell him to get over himself while having a panic attack? And what even WAS that scene in CW when Steve came back? And that scene where he was totes cool with Thor strangling Tony?

This poor man is so underrated the MCU contributes to his being underrated by using him as a plot device instead of an actual fuckin character (quite like Wanda, and they’re both minorities. Hmm). Anyways Rhodey does not get enough love, nor does his status as a hero outside of Tony get enough love, NOR does his friendship with Tony get enough love, and his potential romantic connections with Tony also don’t get enough love. His sass, compassion, and his interesting participation in a system he knows doesn’t always to the right thing, and occasional complicity in this, also doesn’t get enough love. And the MCU can eat my turds for ignoring who he is as a character just to use him as a plot device.

Overrated character- Ok this is gunna be so mean lmao I love him so much I swear but Bucky. Why the this is this bland ass white dude with 3 half personality traits and literally nothing outside of Steve’s character even liked? He is the male Sharon Carter and honestly that’s unfair to Sharon because she at least has SHIELD and spying as personal interests, what the fuck does Bucky have? HYDRA control, which is literally nothing. He’s almost never an active character, he’s barely even constructed as a character, and has nothing outside of Steve to make him compelling at all.

He is objectively so fucking bland that a couple days ago I realized that when I write Bucky I’m taking his 3 traits from the MCU and literally constructing an OC because Bucky is nowhere near developed enough as a character to even write. He’s also a plot device and used as motivation for Steve. Poor dude doesn’t even have interests outside Steve. How he got to be so massively popular, including to me, I have no idea because objectively speaking he is one of the least interesting characters in the MCU- its everyone else around him that makes his story interesting. Seriously. If Steve wasn’t his friend and Tony’s parents weren’t his parents would we even care about him at all? 

A good character still stands if you take the people around them away- take that away from Bucky and his story loses all meaning because it isn’t important to Bucky, its important to the people around him. Like his story is sad, but the emotional impact of what happens to him doesn’t even come from us caring about him, it comes from us caring about the people around him. Granted people are overly attached to him so it worked out in the MCU’s favor and the writers won’t need to make him an active, interesting protagonist because people read into him finding things that aren’t there, and seriously I swear I love Bucky, but he really is a stale, uninteresting character if I actually examine him on his own rather than in the wider context of the events he’s a part of.

TL;DR- love Rhodey you heathens, and while I love Bucky I don’t know why because he isn’t interesting if you look at his story on its own due to its complete lack of emotional impact on him rather than the characters around him.