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#i think i just broke my own heart
ajokeformur-ray · 9 months
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I had a dream about Astarion 😭
We were in his tent and I was chopping up vegetables and meats to make a soup for the camp and Astarion was lounging on his bedroom reading an ancient tome, but then at some point he got up and started to brush my hair for me and I swear, so few people in real life have ever been so gentle with me.
As I was unable to look at him due to the way I was chopping veg and he had my hair in his hands, we started to talk about the Rite of Profane Ascension and he asked me what I thought about it. I told him, and this is the only vivid part I remember now I'm awake,
"no, Astarion. I'd never let you ascend. As someone who had to run away to save her own life and fought like hell to get to where she is now, I need to know that I can keep saving myself just like you did. If you ascend, who can I look up to, to know that people who have suffered like us can break the cycle? I want you to stay you"
And then all I felt was the sensation of being hugged from behind and it felt so lovely that it woke me up 🥺🥺🥺
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hinamie · 2 months
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
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yuwuta · 3 months
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you 
but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact. 
he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared. 
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date 
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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blue-eli · 3 months
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Skuld in quantum design :)
#kingdom hearts#kh#khux#khux Skuld#kh skuld#kingdom hearts Skuld#skuld kh#Skuld kingdom hearts#got distracted from typing the tags by going to watch cutscenes with Skuld my friend Skuld in them#I love her#design notes: she got the scarf because it reminded her of Ephemer AND Braig#you can’t see it but under it she has a star necklace that reminded her of Player#this is based on the subject x Skuld theory! hence the scar. she got it either from just player or got one of the lines from fighting#darkness and the other from player idk#her coat was given to her by Braig/Luxu when he broke her out of radiant garden! it’s slightly too small for her now#she’s tall!!! to me. over 6ft. not quite Lea but still tall#her earrings are the only things that survived from her original outfit. everything else is new#she doesn’t have gloves because I forgo. then I was really happy with how I shaded the hand so I’m not putting gloves on her now.#but she probably does have them#she’s been living in Quantum for a while and is sorta tied up in some illegal shit but nothing really bad.#her and Strelitzia are friends!!! they met at a coffee shop when it was raining and Shuld was the only one with an umbrella#they didn’t realise they were both from daybreak until Skuld saw a painting Strez did and broke down crying.#her memory is still kinda fucked. when she first arrived in Quantum she didn’t remember her name yet and went by X.#she started collecting things that reminded her of the friends she couldn’t quite remember. she’s got a shoe box or two of trinkets#she also will get something if it reminds her of Lea/Isa because even if being in RG was hell she still misses them.#also Vanitas is there. he’s her terrible little brother who bites people. she loves him. he is the only reason she knows her own name#she found him and her heart recognised him as Ventus her brother Ventus. she knows he’s not all of Ventus now but it’s too late#he’s her little brother now. she’s trying to rehabilitate him like taming a feral kitten. he’s switching between ‘I want to be loved’ and#‘I’m evil fuck you’. she introduces as ‘this is my evil brother he is terrible and rude but we’re working on it and I love him.’#she would get along great with Sora I think.
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ahkaraii · 2 years
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Five [Kakashi fancomic, 71/?]
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(Previous) (Next)
(Index)
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moviesstoriesandbooks · 11 months
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Chay goes to Wik's fanmeet and sees Kim in cat ears and a black leather choker .
Later when he performed on stage he wore his crop top and suit ensemble, along with the God awful choker.
He had never in his life had to hide an awkward boner with so many people around , but luckily noone was looking at him.
After the session ended , he found Kim in the vanity while he was just about to take off the choker after removing his rings.
Chay took Kim's hand in his own , turning him around in his chair to kiss the blood red glossy lip that Kim had yet to remove. "Can you keep it on till we reach the compound?" Chay asks , Kim turns around and looks at Chay's flushed cheeks and bright eyes in the mirror , and Chay leans down to kiss Kim's neck.
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wonder-worker · 10 months
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"In reality Richard III invented a Woodville scare as a screen for his own conspiracy"
-A.J Pollard, "Richard III and the Princes in the Tower"
#lmao#richard iii#my post#I think that's true for all usurpations and coups to an extent#but its 10x more applicable and accurate for Richard III#Not only because of the compressed length of time (a mere 3 months as opposed to years of back-and-forth tensions)#but also because ultimately one of the key reasons Richard could do what he did was because he did it from the heart of the political#institution (ie he was an internal threat rather than an external one)#and he was someone who was trusted and loved rather than mistrusted and hated. His betrayal was political but it also had far more personal#ramifications for everyone involved - most people simply did not expect it from him and cooperated with him precisely because of that#which enabled him to seize power before most people even realized what he was doing#And there's the fact that he actually did stage a conspiracy by accusing the Woodvilles of plotting to attack and ambush him#and produced weapons from his own war in Scotland as fake 'proof' - when in fact we know that HE deceived and ambushed THEM#there's also the (propagandic) lie that they usurped him from the position as Lord Protector when they certainly didn't#either Edward IV didn't appoint Richard Lord Protector meaning the Woodvilles denied him nothing#OR the council collectively chose to have a council rule during Edward V's minority rather than a Protector (something they were entirely#within their rights to do both socially and legally)#so claims that they wrongly defied Edward IV's last wishes or broke the law (which Mancini repeats in his account) must be seen as exactly#that - propagandic lies to vilify EW and her family#when in fact Richard was the one plotting a seizure of power - whether it was as Lord Protector or as King#(of course these are just two things - there's a whole laundry list of others)#so this is definitely applicable to him
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yourqueenb · 9 months
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You have no idea how happy I am to see that other people like you don't like blades 2 as well. Like yes it was decent, but on the same level as book 1 in the LEAST.
And I agree, book 3 seems like an excuse to get fans off of their back about the writing. The finale felt extremely disappointing, compared to the thrill you could feel in book 1 end
Yeah, I’m still gonna play book 3 and (foolishly) hope that it’ll be better. But those hopes aren’t too high because book 2 was not a good set up for book 3 at all in my opinion. There’s so much going on. I don’t like that Valax is a part of our friend group now. However, the group dynamics were off long before that if I’m being real. Mal’s route was ruined for me.
When I was going through and deleting my screenshots the other day, I reread the “You slept through it scene” and just felt a renewed sense of hurt and anger at him and really all of our friends. Mal caught a lot of heat from me specifically because he’s my LI and the one who said such an awful thing. But honestly, the rest of the group essentially agreed with him by expanding on what he said (Imtura and Nia) or not saying anything at all (Tyril) and only getting on one accord to exclude MC.
And then on top of all of that, there are quite a few holes that really should be patched up. The plot was a mess for the majority of the story. Tbh it was almost giving Endless Summer because they were locking important information behind diamond scenes and in the lore tablets.
So all this to say that at this point in time, I no longer have faith that PB can handle complex storytelling. Their parent company and higher ups (unsurprisingly) only care about money. And the writers themselves are too lazy and too biased. Does that mean they can no longer write enjoyable stories? No, of course not. But I do think they need to rein it in and be a bit more realistic about what they can handle right now because there’s nothing wrong with a simpler book/plot that’s aware of what it’s trying to accomplish. And it’s clear that they were far too ambitious with Blades 2
#choices bolas#choices blades#blades of light and shadow#choices stories you play#playchoices#if book 3 is as disappointing as or worse than book 2 I’m just gonna ignore them and only consider book 1 canon#and then just make up my own headcanon for what happened after lol#I think i and quite a few other people have been operating off of the notion that PB could tell great complex stories#but they weren’t because cheap smut is what sells#but now I can’t even believe that anymore#they just don’t have the range#and maybe I should’ve come to this conclusion sooner but 🤷🏽‍♀️#and back to the Mal thing for a second I’m being so serious when I say rereading that scene broke my heart all over again#when I first read it my initial reaction was anger so I couldn’t even really focus on anything immediately after that#but upon rereading my heart just sunk for MC#bc if the writers did one thing well it was making the rift between MC and the rest of the group palpable#and it was also very obvious that she was hurt by that and ended up internalizing Mal’s statement/the group’s sentiments on that year#‘Just a little blood No scars Nothing I was asleep for all of it My body works fine’#so I’ll just close out by saying enjoying the book was a challenge for me#and it shouldn’t have been because I *wanted* to enjoy it#book 1 was so good and it getting greenlit for a book 2 was such an unexpected surprise#plus we waited so long for it but it just did not meet expectations#choices#choices app#choices ask
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possibly-eli · 2 months
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hey guys i think im out of the trauma spiral my ex-quadmate put me in <- he is, in fact, not out of the trauma spiral his ex-quadmate put him in
#minding my own business when i out-of-nowhere remember the multiple times she caused me to panic by dumping a lot of heavy#terrifying things onto me which made me terrified of enjoying any free-time i had because “what if something goes wrong while im away”#it threw me full-force back into my “im going to sleep all the time” phase because. at least towards the end i was terrified all the time#because at any point something could go Wrong and i would have to fix it#she broke the promise we made about telling each other about any quadrant stuff#and entered a moirallegience with someone without fucking telling me#she got mad at me for doing what she wanted because. fucking thats just a thing shes allowed to do#left me to think she killed herself twice despite the fact she was watching me the entire time while i fucking panicked#and then said she “didnt want to/didnt enjoy it” as if it just HAPPENED and she didnt fucking Plan that#knowingly put me under tremendous stress despite knowing i have a cardiovascular condition that has placed me in heart attack-range before#reportedly shit-talked me behind my back the entire time we were together (and i whole-heartedly believe the person who told me#because thats the kind of shit she did)#and nobody else in her system even thought to say “oh yeah lol this is like. bad. this guy is being abused by our sysmate”#i went for almost an entire year in invisible on discord because i was terrified of people messaging me#i STILL have all discord sound notifs turned off because it makes me panic#i barely spoke with my friends and had to constantly check discord /while in school/ because of her#and like. even disregarding all the shit she did to ME. she was just a fucking awful person#just. genuinely terrible to be around#but yk#whatevs
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skyburger · 3 months
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RIP reo speedwagon (the jojo's bizarre adventure character) you would've loved reo speedwagon (the american rock band)
#muffin mumbles#jjba#iwas reading rhe wikipedia page for the band (Did you know they performed with pitbull. like dale mr worldwide mr 305. that pitbull)#and the band was formed in 1967 so iwas like huh i wonder when they character named after the band died. because like#**the (not they)#he was born a century earlier <- i was actuwlly right about this robert eo speedwagon (the character) was born in 1863#so in jjba canon: reo speedwagon (the character who is named after the band) ++#predates reo speedwagon (the band who the character is named after) by 106 years. Thats awesome. do you think in jojo world they were like#hey this dude seems pretty cool. lets name out band after him. Was it compleyely unrelated? does the band exist in jjba world i hope it doe#did rhe guy who invented the car the band is named after (who named the car after himself-- his initals were REO) name it after him?#cause like. this is the timeline pf events here: in 1863 robert eo speedwagon is born. we dont know what the eo stands for#in 1915 the reo speed wagon is introduced (named after its inventor whose initials are ransom eli olds)#in 1969 the band REO speedwagon (sometimes stylized R.E.O. speedwagon) is formed. theyre named after the car#(it was a random thing they picked because it got mentioned in someones uni class? i think?)#so in my mind. im thinking yhese are all correlated#in jojo world not in real life. sadly.#so im going to choose to believe the car guy heard about the speedwagon foundation and went huh. sick name! he just added his own initials#(REO) unrelated he fidnt know speedwagons (the guy) full name#and then in turn the band named themselves after the car. this is true in my heart#wait semi related what the hell was joseph thinking when he heard thet band like on the radio i know he did i know this. was he like ? Huh?#joseph joestar watching 70s & 80s musicians have the exact same names as the guys with crazy powers he fought decades ago: huh! thats weird#um i got off topic. i just wantef to make the joke in theactuwl post itself but alas. i love a good ramble#thisis a joke post (obviously) but im not joking about the ''you wouldve loved reo speedwagon'' part. i think he would 100% enjoy the music#authors note: this took me just shy of four hours to post becausde i put it in my drafts from my phone to edit in browser because#the tags broke in the editor (as they often do for me)#and this somehow ended in a detour of me installing & uninstalling & reinstalling a stupid amount of chrome extensions#because i managed to get rid of the likes and reblogs buttons i couldnt interact with posts. awful. its ok tho i solved it
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ichigosoju · 4 months
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🌷
#i cant believe i could've almost been his girlfriend!!!!#im sad that he never asked me and never waited ....#because i know me and im dependable and devoted#i go all in if i love#but instead he .. fell in love fast and quick and i get it. i get why he fell for her i really do so i dont blame him#but... they only lasted a month then they broke up#she left. and i get that she and i are different people#but i cannot fathom how you can have HIM and leave him#i cant even imagine my life without him. he is genuinely all i think about#and she left.... !!!!! i cant understand that (from my pov. she is her own person i know)#i just wish he'd stuck it out and given me a chance (bc he did feel those things for me he said that)#i know the heart want what it wants but oh how i wish#i would've been with him until now. i would've never have left him#i wish i wish he didnt do that bc now he's even more heartbroken and i know it'll just be harder for me to maybe prove myself to him#(btw this sounds super selfish but this is only me venting my feelings!!!)#im still here for him. i've never left. i've been so so patient. isnt that worth anything?#most of the time it feels like he doesnt even appreciate me :( at all#i just cannot believe that HE once upon a time wanted ME to be his gf#if things just had gone a bit differently i would've been so lucky to call myself his#and him mine... that's so crazy to me#that's my dream...#i dont wanna give up on him bc i love him sm i cant imagine any other way my life can go#but.... i cant push if he isnt even replying... i cant bother him too much#then im just crazy#and my anxities arent even letting me message him at all#bc even if i asked if it's ok and he said im not bothering him#im convinced i am. i mean it really seems and feels like i am doing that#so i just cannot even message him..... which makes my life so empty i wanna cry#sometimes i wish i'd never met him bc my love for him has ruined my life now that i cant have him
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hinamie · 1 month
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I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home
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naranjapetrificada · 1 year
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Love yourself enough to never read any of the fics about Ed and Stede that have the "growing old together" tag. Totally played myself and ruined my own evening.
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look I'm sorry, I really am. but if you watch The Husbands of River Song and interpret that as being a definitive picture of what River is like as a person... you're wrong. and you've missed the point.
#*yeets this post at tumblr and then runs away fast before an DiscourseTM can start*#seriously I love THORS with all my heart but y'all canNOT just keep taking everything at face value#and assuming that just because a character claims something as though it's true then it must be true#River says the Doctor doesn't love her and Hydroflax scans her and says it's not a lie and it's not!!! it really isn't a lie!!!#it's not a lie because RIVER believes it in that moment!!!#River is acting out in that story she is trying SO hard to distract herself from the pain and loss she's just experienced#ie Manhattan!! she's just lost both of her parents!! all the family she's ever known!!#and she didn't even get to KNOW them the way a child should know their parents!! her childhood was stolen#and now her parents have been too!!#and given the implication that she and the Doctor have a sort of falling out because of the events of Manhattan#she probably thinks that on some level she's lost him too!!#and that's why it's TWELVE who gets to be there with her in the midst of that adventure#because THIS is a Doctor who she doesn't have to be strong for!!!!!#River almost always had to be the strong one for Eleven#she was the one who had to keep looking at the angel when he broke down she had to break her own hand because he left her to do it#she was always the one pointing him towards the person he must become#she taught him how to love so that he could in turn teach HER!!#but Twelve! Twelve can stand beside her at his full height and look her in the eyes and not back away#he can see her full darkness and her unkindness and when it's over he is still there beside her holding her hand#he is allowed to see the most imperfect and un-River-ish version of River because he is the one who can see it and love her more for it#and I do think THORS is an aspect of River! it's her darker uglier afraid and alone and just desperately trying to distract herself side!!#but it's not like. The Definite River. River As She Truly Is (Without The Doctor There To Perform For).#and I'm slightly tired of seeing that position seemingly taken by a lot of people writing for the character lately#not to gripe about this again but like--a lot of the most recent BF stories featuring River make her feel so shallow??#she's basically just the most flattened version of Captain Jack. but female. and without the immortality angst that makes him so interestin#ok I'm done yelling into the void now sfdkhdfkh#I have kicked at a (small but potentially feisty) hornets' nest and now I am going to sleep sdkjfkjhsdsf#gurt says stuff#river song#doctor who
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derpinette · 1 year
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i could never understand fujoshis because i already loathe seeing any male in charged implications of any type let alone TWO of them
#it actually makes me feel physically sick even just one man on his own acting coy i would rather watch someone vomit#i already barely enjoy any male character centered media to begin with so it just pisses me off#sorry to my fujosisters#in ninth grade two of my friendS ( with an S that was like my most Friended year Evar i had about like 5 )#were trying to convince me ( they cornered me in the library ) to be a fujoshi one of them later explained to me what ABO was#amongst other messed up sick yaoi but she was otherwise so nice & sweet genuinely. looking back that was jarring#she was a really good student & she was so cute.like morally besides her taste in yaoi she was kind of righteous O_O#anyway the closest they have ever gotten to converting me was when we were all watching the original naruto series#&i ''''shipped'''' narusasu DISCLAIMER i am not the type to ship anything at all other than ponies sometimes. my mind rarely ever goes ther#they were genuinely so proud of me & they cornered me again to make me admit that i was one of them. what an awesome year#also the ABO fujo was really lesbophobic which broke my heart a little but to be fair she never found out i was gay#i was not a doormat in that situation for once we stayed friends after i only stopped talking to her when i went crayzay in 2020#i miss her despite everything x( ough. i wonder wat she up to. probably something great because she was smart & hardworking#this makes her sound really bad but i think she was/we were just 14 years old LOL
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muselexum · 2 years
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At what point do you think Rayleigh realized that Roger would never be just his and decided to hang up his desire for that forever?
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