#rinse and repeat

[eddiesgaymustache]

do you ever remember that evan buckley is canonically bisexual and get so overwhelmed that you explode into one hundred bats

[twinsfawn]

i open an app on my phone → i witness the worst that humanity has to offer → i debate doing something that will put me on international news → i put down my phone

[queenie-ofthe-void]

Stuck

~1.5k words || rating: teen || cws: dissociation; unlabeled neurodivergencies and mental illnesses

He’s never quite sure how it happens, seeming to always sneak up on him. One minute he’s up and moving around, usually cleaning, organizing, or just meandering around the house. The next, he’s lying on the floor in the middle of the living room. He tries to move but can’t. Not because he’s physically restrained, like when the rope from the Russians cut into his wrists or how the vines constricted his neck. 

No, Steve’s just lying here on the floor, trapped in his own mind. His eyes are raw, stinging with dryness. Painful tingles pop throughout his right arm from where his head rests heavy on his bicep. His hip and shoulder ache. He can’t move or talk or blink. Can barely think. He’s not in his body. 

He’s lost. Stuck.

Getting stuck means losing time, chunks of days lost to a void. It means missing meals and unanswered phone calls. Growing up, it felt like an escape. A safe way to pass the time between eating and sleeping. He’d come back to himself, sometimes hours later, sore and hungry, mustering up energy he didn’t have. Once, his parents discovered him frozen on the ground. Mom’s yelling and Dad’s foot shoving his side brought him jolting back into his body. Like waking from a nightmare, rising from the dead chased by panic. 

It happens less now, but still catches up to him when he’s exhausted. He thinks today it was the kids– they were particularly obnoxious. Yelling excitedly about Eddie’s new campaign ideas, trucking in snow from outside after building a demo-snowman. Cooking for them, cleaning after them, getting them home safe.

Yeah, he gets how he maybe overdid it a bit. 

But with Eddie here, it’s easier. His sweetheart always knows how to help, usually checking up on him after stressful days. Hopefully he comes to check on him soon.

Because Steve can’t move. Or talk. Or even blink.

The sun is starting to set.

~~~

The Party were extra chaotic today, pushing him to the fringes of patience. He’s thrilled they’re excited about his newest campaign ideas, but god, did they have to be so unbearably loud about it? Dustin’s screeches are still rattling between his ears. Not to mention the soreness he feels from helping the kids build a snowman demo-thing and the ensuing snowball fight. 

The idea of an occult campaign has been percolating in Eddie’s brain for weeks, and after the day he’s had, he’s lost to the research. Perched on a chair upstairs in their bedroom, books are scattered across the desk and onto their bed next to him. Typically, creative deep-dives restore his energy after a long day. But when he’s well and truly exhausted, he’ll lose hours at a time to the work. Getting stuck, according to Steve. And yeah, Eddie can see how that fits.

Growing up, Eddie would lose hours throwing himself into his latest and greatest project, whether it be drawing, playing guitar, writing campaigns, reading or even the time he tried juggling. Entranced by his newest obsession, his surroundings would fade into the background. He’d forget to do his homework, to eat or drink. Hell, sometimes he’d forget to pee. Wayne’d drop a gentle hand to his shoulder– pulling him back to reality– and he’d take off like a shot to the bathroom. Every sensation hitting all at once: bladder about to burst, stomach rumbling, dry mouth, headache, body stiff and achy. 

As he gets older, it’s still a frequent occurrence. So Robin had given him the idea of setting alarms, saying it helps her remember to take breaks while studying. And he’s thankful, because it works like a charm when he actually remembers. But when he forgets, his Stevie takes care of him. 

He’ll find Eddie crouched awkwardly by the desk, eyes manic, only seeing what’s in front of him. Eddie will eat or drink anything Steve gives him, barely tasting whatever it is, just as long as he can see it. And Steve lets him be for at least a few hours so he can burn energy into whatever project he's lost himself in. All Steve cares is that he’s fed and hydrated. Usually, Eddie comes to slowly, with Steve’s fingers gently carding through his hair, or soft strokes up and down his spine.

Now Eddie breaks his own musings, eyes strained, hungry, and needing to stretch. He can’t help but wonder why his sweetheart hasn’t checked on him. 

Moonlight is shining through the window.

~~~

It’s eerily quiet as Eddie makes his way down the stairs. He half expects to find Steve stress-baking, but the kitchen is dark. 

So he checks the garage– the car is still here. And the backyard– he never sits by the pool alone. Then the front porch– maybe he went out for a smoke.

Guilt eats at Eddie as he finds his beautiful boy on the living room floor, curled into himself.

Stuck. 

He hates finding Steve like this– stuck and lost like Eddie’s engrossed fantasies. Yet so, so different. 

The first time Eddie found him, unresponsive and immovable, he spiraled into a panic so strong Steve had broken free of his own melancholy, finding Eddie hyperventilating and sobbing in the midst of a flashback. Too much like Chrissy. Like Patrick and Nancy. 

They'd talked about it. And Eddie had appreciated afterwards how Steve struggled to describe what being stuck feels like, why it happens, what to do about it. It'd helped. 

So on grey days, long nights, the holidays, or when the kids are extra rowdy, Eddie looks for the signs. He's been good about getting Steve to slow down before it's too late. 

But on rare occasions, there will be a day like today. When it’s too much for both of them.

Eddie doesn't know how long his baby’s been lying here. Doesn't know when he ate or drank or even blinked. Because he’d holed himself up, desperate for time alone to just think. To be with himself after spending all day surrounded by people. But he forgot to set an alarm, assuming Steve would be there.

He focuses on his sweetheart, slowly kneeling down next to him so as not to startle him. Remembers all of the tips and tricks Steve needs. 

"Hey honey," Eddie whispers, close enough to be present but not overwhelming. "Don't worry baby we'll get you unstuck I promise. I'm going to reach out and grab your hand now ok?" 

He continues to whisper gentle praises and reassurances as he holds Steve's hand. It's limp for a time, and Eddie is hungry, but he doesn't stop. Time is lost to them both again, until he feels a slight squeeze on his fingers. Steve finally blinks, slow and hard. 

"Hey big boy, love to see those pretty, long eyelashes.” He smiles down at his baby, honeyed hazel eyes slowly refocusing. “Alright, once for no and two for yes: do you want me to help you onto the couch?" 

A full minute passes before Eddie feels two gentle squeezes to his fingers. 

"That's great sweetheart. I'm gonna tilt you to sit up and we'll get you settled. Then I'm going to ask if you want anything. Ready?" Two squeezes.

They finally get to the couch, and Eddie can already feel a strong sense of relief at just seeing his baby move off the floor. He hears Steve's back pop as they stand, decides he'll give him a massage later. 

It goes on. And on and on. Eddie follows the process of squeezes until Steve is unstuck and back in his body. 

"Water?" Two squeezes.

"Food?" One squeeze.

"Blanket?" Two squeezes. 

Eddie's patience always pays off. He's got Steve set up on the couch, hydrated and relaxed, with his favorite movie playing softly. He’s managed to grab a bowl of cereal for himself. They're cuddled and warm with Steve’s head in his lap. Eddie glides his fingers up and down the sore side of Steve’s body, gently squeezing as he goes.

~~~

Steve comes back to himself surrounded by love. 

His eyes sting and his mouth is dry. He doesn't know what time it is, but notices the sun has long set, moonlight shining through the curtains. The bones in his neck crack and his joints pop as he stretches.

But he's warm under the blankets, tucked into his boyfriend's chest as they watch the teddy bear Star Wars. Eddie's loosely twirling the hairs at the nape of his neck, lightly tugging and sending tingles down his spine. There's a glass of water and crackers on the table in front of him. 

Getting stuck inside his head terrifies him, something he dreads as much as the night terrors. 

But with Eddie, it's easier, happens less often. And when it does, he always wakes up to love.

~~

This was a pure self-indulgence fic. An exact recreation of my relationship with my partner. It fits my headcanon for the boys perfectly (though I'm obviously biased haha)

[aestknowsbest]

Timbern-coded sun god and moon god rahhh

[oifaaa]

How to start drawing?

Well you start with picking up a pen and a bit of paper and then you just .. um ... wait hang on I think the archives have something about this

yeah here it is

[onaperduamedee]

I guess it's time to stop recommending Wheel of Time as a queer show

[hippychick006]

So… the jib con appears to be M once again queerbaiting like his income depends on it, being gross speaking on behalf of Jensen (when the man conveniently isn’t there), treating the lgbtq+ community as if it’s a fetish, and Jensen wrapping his legs around Jared in case anyone gets any ideas about taking him away.

[another-chaotic-bisexual-vampire]

"I haven't heard from Jonathan in so long! I hope he's okay-- oh, look an email!"

Jonathan: [UNINTELLIGIBLE BRITISH SCREAMING AT THE HORRORS]

"...I hope I hear from Jonathan again soon!"

[theseuscloud]

It's kind of hard to pinpoint my favorite ship in TMA, because my thought process is kind of like:

Jmart? Good, but what about Gerry

JonGerryMartin? Great, actually, but we can't leave Tim and Sasha there

Polyarchives? Even better, but we're missing gerry again

Polyarchives + Gerry? Now we're talking, but he can't be here without his boyfriend can he

Polyarchives + Doorkeay? Yes please, but what about [...]

[clairegregoryau]

Obsessed with hairdressers!Stede and Ed in Rinse and Repeat, obsessed with @theyellowestmustard as a writer and as a human, and had to do a little bit of Ch1 art for Ed and his worm party braids ❤️

[jonmoxleys]

grabs the death riders storyline by the shoulders

[bottominerights]

kagami: cooks

aomine, mouth full: damn, kagami, ur the best

kagami: plays basket

aomine, breathless: damn, kagami, you're the best

kagami: fucks the daylights out of him

aomine, slurring, with only two functional brain cells left:

　　

[k3n-dyll]

"I should finish up my drafts"

*proceeds to write three sentences and correct a typo or two*

"Welp...a hard days work deserves a break!"

[bogkeep]

the jean moreau experience

any of the trojans: come do this normal harmless thing with us :)

jean: what? no

trojans: why not? it's not like you'll be beaten to death with hammers for enjoying yourself for two seconds

jean, who has historically been beaten to death with hammers just for considering enjoying himself for two seconds: frowns

trojans: ?

trojans: ŏ_ŏ

trojans: please don't tell us you were beaten to death with hammers

jean: it's only right

jean: how else will you do well at college sports ?

trojans: :(

jean: ???you don't get beaten to death with hammers???

trojans: :( :( :(

[el-ffej]

From s5e1 of Harley Quinn The Animated Series.

[bigmammallama5]

I call monthly to fill my ADHD meds and because it is so controlled I'm legally not allowed to get extra (context: I am currently on the branded because I've met my deductible for the year (surgery) and the generic isn't in my pharmacy).

The pharmacy places a refill for the generic. The generic is still widely out of stock and won't get in for weeks. I call to ask if they can switch it to branded, they have done so in the past. I cannot, it is so controlled I have to get a new prescription. I get a new order and for the next three months I'm okay. I forget the headache and then it's time for a new set of three months and I hope my provider has sent in the branded request. The pharmacy places a refill for the generic. The generic is still widely out of stock and won't get in for weeks.