#i think i posted it all on twitter so ill take that and paste it here one day maybe

[gu6chan]

99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

[81folklore]

as good as new - AA23

pairings: alex albon x ex!girlfriend!reader (fc: quarterjade)

summary: alex soft launches his ex girlfriend after they find eachother again

type: social media au (smau)

authors note: ok so welcome to the start of the voulez-vous fic list! i hope this makes sense but incase it doesnt, alex and yn used to be dating before they split due to just growing apart, but they were meant to be😁

authors note 2: kinda rushed at the end so sorry about that! got a couple of requests to work on so ill try and get them done along with this fic list! and you cant still join the taglist!!

voulez-vous main masterlist

yourusername

liked by alex_albon, brookeabb and 122,268 others

happy new years!!🥂

view comments

user7 happy new year gorgeous!!

yourfriend2 SHINING SHIMMERING SPLENDIDDDD

brookeab SHE IS SO FINE AND SO CUTE AND PRETTY AND LOVELY

user82 JAW IS ON THE FLOOR??

user90 im so in love with you

user26 GET IN LINE

user38 so so so so stunning

twitter

alex_albon

liked by williamsracing, yourusername and 253,080 others

last dump of the year🇦🇪

view comments

williamsracing see you next year king🫡

user84 yn liking :’)

user9 THE FIFTH PIC?!

user47 is that..shirtless alex

user83 WHOS HOLDING THE BOX??

user97 technically its already 2024 but we’ll let it slide

user55 imagine its yn in the 5th pic..

user1 can we not? 1. its none of our business and 2. alex can move on and imagine being that girl and seeing people think its her bfs ex like..

yourusername

liked by pokimanelol, alex_albon and 92,389 others

me and my boy ⭐️

view comments

tinakitten CUTE AS HECK!!

yourfriend4 i miss him☹️

yourusername even though he hates you??

yourfriend4 he doesnt hate me, just not fond!!

user77 whos that in the second slide👀

user52 no tag either🤨

user13 moms weekend with the kids i see

user9 does alex get weekends? i thought the cats were yns?

user2 tbh we have no idea, i assumed he did but maybe not🤷‍♀️

user26 so so cute!! we need more pics of you and genji!!

alex_albon added to their story

caption:☀️🐈

replies

user66 GENJI AND MABEL!!

user73 we missed them :’)

user8 oh how i love cat dad alex

twitter

alex_albon • mallorca

liked by jensonbutton, yourusername and 293,286 others

me gusta la playa

view comments

user4 THE CENSORSHIP??

user89 three shirtless pics?? someone call george

georgerussell63 someones coming for my brand🤣

user9 the softlaunch..oh im losing my mind

user33 yn liking alexs softlaunch post..shes checking up on the ex😭

user12 ran into george and lando in the last pic

user1 alex is so hot😮‍💨

user912 alex is FEEDING us at the moment

yourusername • mallorca

liked by alex_albon, carmenmundt and 182,196 others

sorry cant talk rn im too busy being hot

view comments

carmenmundt absolute beauty💞🫶

user94 I CAN TREAT YOU SO WELL

user63 so so gorgeous

user9 alex and yn both being in mallorca and alex softlaunching..

user111 you are a dream

twitter

yourusername

liked by alex_albon, landonorris and 210,692 others

darling, we were always meant to stay together💫

i was searching for photos to post and decided on 6 that really showed my life these past months

1. a photo on the first day i went out after we split, i felt lost and alone and decided to start documenting my journey alone

2. this is a photo i took when i went home and felt peace for the first time since our break

3. a selfie we took in the taxi after our ‘first date’. we met up for the first time since, and spoke about our feelings and decided to start taking things slow

4. a day out with you and my sister, i felt so happy knowing i had the two most important people with me again

5. our first holiday, this will always mean alot to me. we both said i love you for the first time, we spent all day, every day together just loving and holding each other

6. we were leaving and instead of being sad we knew that this part of our life wasnt over but instead we were moving on to bigger and better things

i love you so much and im so thankful that i have someone has caring and loving as you

tagged alex_albon

view comments

alex_albon just like it used to be and even better🌟

alex_albon i love you so so much

alex_albon i promise to love you forever and ever

yourusername my loveliest boy

user71 THEYRE BACK

yourusername AND BETTER THAN EVER BABY

user111 MY FAVORITES

user9 i didnt read the caption and experienced genuine shock when i saw alex

user8 so proper just say you were shocked😭

user88 i need everything to apologize to mads RIGHT NOW

user61 all the hate on her WHEN SHE WAS RIGHT

taglist: @smartstupyd

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

[ohmygs-blog]

hi my loves <3 warning for u as this will be a bit of a long post bahaha but hopefully it will help explain to u guys :) i haven’t been very active on this account, or my second account as a lot of u guys have noticed. i appreciate all of the different dms and inboxes checking in on me and i’ve missed u all !!! and i promise i’m okay !!!

ive been doing a lot of thinking in the past couples weeks and i 100% do not plan on leaving this account or my writing anytime soon.

honestly i don’t have the words to explain what i mean or have been feeling but ig the best way would be; i’ve been losing the excitement that comes with posting and writing on tumblr.

im not sure what changed and that's what majority of where the frustration i have is coming from. i don’t want to say ive outgrown this because i don’t think i have, its just the struggle of thinking of ideas and messages that match with the little personas ive created.

i’ve talked abt it before and taking inspo from the dreamies irl personalities i’ve tried to create my own personas of them and it’s important to me idk hahaha. what i’m getting at is ive become a bit of a perfectionist and if i don’t think an idea of mine matches w their character its discouraging if that makes sense idk???

instead of the excitement, ive honestly just been stressing myself out and finding anything i can to pick at and tear down. which leads towards more stress because i honestly love writing and seeing all of ur comments & messages and interacting with u guys and when i feel like i have nothing to offer i feel bad ahahah.

ANYWAY all this to say, that im not closing my account or leaving u lovely ppl behind. i have a couple drafts written and saved in my drafts so ill be posting them and working on requests when inspiration strikes !!!!

• ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ • ౨ৎ •

in the meantime if ur missing my writing (pls miss me bc ill miss u dearly), here's some of my other socials that i will be active on !!!!

pinterest !!! see what goes on in my brain, fic inspo boards, nct dream bf inspo & other boards :D

twitter !! @/ohmyyygodddd (idk what i’m going to do on my twitter lol but i’ve been waiting to make a 2nd account and i just made it today lol)

wattpad !!! fics below !! pls check them out i’m begging haha i’ve worked so hard on them and i’d love to share them w you guys :D

the alliance: wherein a group of friends can't get enough of their random internet feuds or taking down their enemies !

love department: wherein dani's friends are embarrassed over the lack of love (and boys) in her life and decide they need to help out.

[nicofan57]

i wanted to talk about this clip so here’s my thoughts on it and the entire situation from yesterday (rest is under the cut)

(transcript:

minute: oh but why wemmbu, why, we- clown you and i were against him before, why-

clown: i didn’t like it either, okay, let me- you know why-

minute: ill tell you better- ill tell you better than anyone he’s just gonna use you and spit you out whenever it’s convenient. or whenever you’re no longer convenient for him. i know it better than anyone!

clown: i think we can handle wemmbu.

minute: he can't die!

clown: oh but he could drop- (?)

minute: he's just gonna sit tens of thousands of blocks out and wait for everyone to kill each other until he's the last one. i know this better than anyone! why didn't you talk to me?)

so first let’s dissect this clip. minute saying "i know this better than anyone" brings me back to kings s1 . they worked together to take down the other team that had the mythics and when wemmbu finally got a hold of the lifestealer (i can’t remember the exact details.. time for a rewatch) he threw minute out, saying there could only be one king. which sucks more when you think about at the start of the server, minute was open to teaming with wemmbu because he genuinely thought they were friends like he was not seeing that coming. someone warned him wemmbu is not trustworthy and he went “wemmbus my boy he wouldnt do that" (or something along those lines). and it’s like. well he did end up doing that. and minute realized he was being used all along.

fast forward to foundation when wemmbu literally said something along the lines of (again, sorry this might not be accurate) he’d team with minute because

- minute is powerful

- he has gear sets

- he would give him stuff

and most of all because he’s too kind for his own good. he wants peace even with his enemies, which we all know from the current arc right now. and wemmbu knows that all too well he knows he wouldnt refuse siding with him even considering their history on kings. anyway we all know how the abyss arc turned out for them with the orbital

so here is this clip i posted a while ago (linked here, because i cant put more than one video in a post apparently) where minute talks about how wemmbu's betrayed him a million times and how he says it hurts but he moves past it (this guy....) well clearly he’s not going to move past it now. because behind his back wemmbu has been working with zam, the person trying to break him mentally, and wemmbu’s stolen his position of power and is going to undo everything he’s worked towards. and the worst part about it is that he even convinced minutes teammates from day one to vote for him.

it’s pretty clear that wemmbu knows minute more and is able to get to him better than zam, he knows how to get into his head, he knows what actually fucks minute up, and no offense to zam because zam did end up winning… he achieved his goal by employing wemmbu! but i noticed minute isnt worried about zam that much anymore, or any of the players at all. it’s wemmbu because he knows what wemmbu can do and he knows how fucked up the server is going to be under his presidency. worst of all he knows what’s going to happen to his friends, he’s been in their shoes before, he knows they’re going to be left for dead when all is said and done, and even though they betrayed him and voted for wemmbu he still wants to save them because he knows it all too well (i think he also did say this). he still has some good left in him, even after the betrayal.

though the players are using wemmbu's presidency term to get what they want, it’s always going to end up being minute against wemmbu, it’s a cycle that ive noticed keeps repeating lately . thank you all forcoming to my ted talk

(p.s. i copied and pasted this from my twitter thread sorry if theres any weird formatting. or typos. or bad english pleabse be nice to me smiles)

[straitjacketzz]

HAVE YOU EVER DRAWN THESE GUYS?

Sooooo idek where to begin with this. I'll start by saying that yes I contacted Rebornica/Bones/Voltergeist and bought two of their old FNAF au designs. Those being Scott/Phone Guy and Jeremy. Before I get into anything I feel like I'm obligated to address Volt's past and let it be known that I do not Care about a mentally ill teenager faking other disorders or aggressively yelling at people to stop copying them or whatever other overdramatic thing they did like a decade ago and I don't think buying from them is anywhere near comparable to "supporting problematic people" compared other designers who are like homophobic or whatever the fuck else, and I'm not here to talk about or argue about "the ethics" of me giving Volt money. So jot that down before you even start typing.

I'm here to ask if anyone here has drawn art of Scott/Phone Guy and Jeremy so that i may save it and add it to their toyhouse galleries. You'll see they both currently have like 100 pieces in their galleries right now but I know that's not even scratching the surface. Theres just so much of it It's overwhelming to look for. Theres also issues of these designs being so popular to the point of people making their Own personal redesigns of them. And it starts to muddy up which art belongs to me or not. This isnt toooo much of a big deal with Jeremy as the giant "?" on his face makes him pretty distinct and easily recognizable as The Guy That I Own. But this becomes a problem with Phone Guy specifically. He is... pretty much The design that everyone draws him as regardless of if they intend for it to be Rebornica fanart or not. People use this design in their own AUs, people use this design as their own OC. Theres so so so so so much art of people labeling their art as "heres my phone guy design!" and its just the Rebornica design. And I don't feel comfortable or really have the heart to save anything that people consider to be theirs even if its literally the design that I own x__x It's just a bit hard when you own a design that is considered canon enough to a real video game to the point where people just. Take him. and there's nothing I can do about that. And it's not something that upsets me tbh because I knew this was an issue when I Bought him. Literally all I want to know is what art I can or can't save and upload to their archives lmao. So I figured asking people to send me their art directly would help reduce the chance of me just taking someone else's art that they didn't intend to be My phone guy. Not even counting the fact that a popular FNAF fan game called Dayshift At Freddy's has their own version of phone guy that ALSO had the red rotary phone head but wears a black business suit. So, any art of That One isnt mine.

But anyway yeah! And just know i'm looking for literally anything involving these guys. Digital art, traditional art, gifs, animations, physical/irl art, doodles, comics, fanfic, cosplays you made, even weird misc stuff like ponytown designs for them, literally anything and everything!!

also because i keep getting asked about it, Vincent, shadow vincent, mike, vendetta, mahogany, faith, captain, vex, sheriff, fritz, hocus, and boss have also all been sold and multiple different people own these guys now. and for vincents owner specifically, i will not be giving out their username as they Do Not Want To Be Contacted About It.

im cross-posting this on multiple websites so feel free to reach out anywhere where its most convenient for you. reblogs are appreciated for reach

twitter: straitjacketzz discord: straitjackets toyhouse: straitjackets

[subwayfloorlicker1978]

tadc works better in the medium that it unintentionally conveyed itself as

okay. you’re probably reading this title thinking “but subwayfloorlicker1978… what IS the medium in question????” okay the medium in question is being a lore filled mysterious series with twists and turns and having an emphasis on twists and turns just as much as its characters.

now. this baffles me a little bit bc even though one could get that exact idea of tadc just by watching the first episode (and the fandom ITSELF literally got that impression. i mean its even evident in the fanmade aus.) gooseworx made a twitter post a few months ago that apparently tadc is made up of. and i quote. 95% character depth/stuff/etc and like 5% of lore. which is… hm.

which also baffled me! because my GOD was there a lot of lore foreshadowing and spooky (if you want to call it that.) stuff throughout episode 1. like WAY too much of it, especially if your main goal of tadc is to have it be a series centered heavily on the characters. not saying you can’t have background plot things going on, but like… 95%? seriously? i’m definitely praying she hadn’t entirely thought out that ratio before pressing the post button.

and that’s why tadc unintentionally comes across as a series with super deep lore, literally to the point where i’ve seen certain people unironically call it a horror series (which is wrong btw. even if you’re taking the c&a scenes + caine’s suspicious moments into account). it quite literally spends like 1/3 of its main scenes in episode 1 putting SO much emphasis on the c&a lore and the abstraction and everything else.

and the thing is. i dont entirely blame gooseworx for this. obviously it would be very important to flesh out the environment/world that the characters are in during the first episode (LITERALLY your first impression), which obviously includes locations like the lore office area pomni was in or the cellar where caine banishes all of the crazy people to go to. (oh and also even the topic of abstraction itself via kaufmo) but like..... there’s a reason why tadc has a game theory episode.

i’ve said this before and ill say it again. tadc and the entire “digital circus” thing and the implementation of vr headsets + lore into the story is ONLY an excuse for gooseworx to tell a compelling story about compelling characters in a cartoony wacky environment. its basically a guaranteed way for the viewers to actually see these goofy characters in a humanoid manner. however… you can’t just implement characters with these vr headset backstories and existential themes without it sounding entirely ominous. AND you can’t just drop a huge bombshell regarding the lore of the show and WHY the vr stuff happened and then go on twitter and say that its 95% about the characters.

and with the direction of the cellar and office scenes.. im not sure if it’s even possible for someone to make a clean cut resolution to the lore tidbits while still fulfilling the “5%” lore thing and not having it come off as giving off the wrong expectations. the direction of these scenes is SO intense like. some of these camera shots clearly put emphasis on small little details and the tone of these scenes pale so much in comparison to previous scenes that it catches you so off guard.

which is what makes them very well written! however they pack so much content and foreshadowing into themselves that its such a far fetched thing to say that only 5% of lore will make up tadc. that combined with the prospect of past lives. and also with the clear foreshadowing of jax being a morally corrupt person. what about the extremely heavy motifs of exit doors? there’s no way THATS going to just be gone after episode 1. goose, what do you MEAN there’s going to be corpse imagery? all of this ties into each other. lore and tone tie into each other too. come on.

but these aspects can definitely be used to craft a great story. WITH character arcs and character deep dives throughout episodes. gravity falls literally nailed this. and theoretically tadc could too. emphasis on theoretically.

also if the “memory loss” thing was actually canon and not something the fandom thought was canon (again reasonable misinterpretation because obviously if you hear pomni say “HOLY FLIP I FORGOT MY OWN NAME!!!” you’re going to assume she forgot everything else.) that would also work well along with the theoretical lore stuff if it was more emphasized. literally think of the vast opportunities for foreshadowing. maybe pomni finds out something about the other characters via revisiting the office that THEY can’t remember. maybe do something with like… reflexes and muscle memory or something related to “the mind forgets but the body remembers”. maybe use it as a plot point in relation to jax’s keys or his weirdly implied secret or something. IDK! i just think a lore and plot driven story in this environment combined with character things (50/50…) would be marginally more interesting than what we will be given.

okay one more pet peeve in relation to this before i go. deep breath……. i really hate how the cartoonish body language of the main human cast. GO AHEAD BOO ME. THROW TOMATOES AT ME. LET ME EXPLAIN OKAY.

one piece of media that i think does a GREAT job when it comes to utilizing body language in storytelling is duck season. it clearly humanizes the guy in the suit by giving him certain habits that seem undoubtedly human and make him feel very… alive. like whenever he smokes a cigarette but then quickly puts it out when the player gets near him bc he’s startled and needs to keep up a facade. like THAT. that’s what strikes me as a human behavior.

so if goose’s goal would be to humanize these “cartoon” characters… realistic body language that clashes with their digital circus designs would be a perfect way to make them stick out in comparison to the npcs or caine and bring out the fact that they’re humans in an environment curated by nonhumans. it would also help a little more with tadc’s target demographic problem i think? the characters having little humanoid habits would make it seem a little more mature i think and would also go well with my idea of theoretical lore-focused tadc. not saying 20 year olds CANT be into pieces of media that have bright colors and are very cartoony. im just saying. there’s a reason why there’s so much content slop of tadc.

[sourcoded]

Okay alt timeline kenshi has been spinning around in my head like a microwave soo here's my personal take on his childhood and back story etc.

( most of this is stuff i've posted on twitter but i doubt half of you follow me on there LOL and no one really saw it anyways... sooo ill put it here to, also no character limit so i get to explain shit in detail yippie!)

tw for child abuse mention under-cut

* He was isolated and secluded for most of his childhood due to his family's general paranoia about outsiders and there family linage etc which from that point on made it tremendously difficult for him to connect with his peers. He was home schooled, only ever allowed to mingle with the few children among his extend family ( but unfortunately most of them were already older teens so he barely got much fun out of hanging around them any how.) * But at the same time he grew up way to fast due to the irresponsibility of the adults around him and eventually was forced into the world at a young age. His mother had rather poor health and was horrifically codependent, his father was mostly uncaring of this, neglectful to both her and kenshi's needs but especially controlling, and saw kenshi as nothing more but a tool to orchestrate his vision of the future for there clan and practically worked him to death whenever it came to training. * This endless cycle went on from the age's of 7-16, up until his mother finally succumbed to her poor health and passed. grief stricken and traumatized kenshi finally made the decision to run away, but not without his father putting up a fight. after a tireless battle that almost ended his life, still kenshi came out on top and ironically beating his father with everything he's ingrained in him for all his life, but whether or not his father survived is unknown, kenshi presumed he died from his injuries and kept on his way immediately after. * kenshi picked up any work he could to support himself afterwards, moving place to place, and for the longest time not really sure on what he's searching for exactly, his past still weighing on him heavy. though he found genuine connections through proving his skills and finding worthy opponents and such, he still had a tendency of keeping most ppl at arms length.. more intricate hc's: - due to his mom's codependency and his fathers neglect he is CHRONICALLY independent and tends to bite off way more than he can chew. - He's super avoidant of big emotions and reactions, almost having a sort of flat effect. which can make him appear rather detached, cold and brief, or when in better moods he puts up a front that's rather witty, dry and even a little bit of a mischievous sense of humor. - he is vry autistic if this wasn't already obvious! ( all kenshi's are fight me..) he lives on a rather strict routine for himself and again due to the abuse this made the chronic independence even worse. - guilt and grief eat him up a lot, its super hard for him to navigate either, with suchin's death, he had a tremendously difficult time confronting these things with takeda and finding closure in a healthy manner, so imo this is why he chose not to visit ..i truly believe he wanted nothing but the absolute best for takeda, but again with his circumstances things were just to much (but esp in the moment with red dragon on his tail lmao..?) ( and i esp feel like he didn't want to hinder takeda's growth in anyway either)...big believer in sometimes the parent being there is WORSE! so imo i think this is along the lines of what kenshi was dealing with all those years he left takeda with hanzo. ( i'm super passionate abt this can you tell ...sorry this got so wordy LOL) - last but not least i believe suchin was among the vry few people he let in and became THAT close with, prior to that he's only been with like a few men here and there but only 1 of them were sort of long term.

[yukidragon]

I’ve seen someone taking the approach of Ian having a long term affair not just a fling, he was fooling around on the player for a while and keeping his home with them before getting caught. Although intriguing, part of me hopes that’s actually not the case. I know plenty of people do it but sexting and dating someone more exciting but taking advantage of the familiar comfort of might make Ian too far gone for a lot of players, that’s a little too fuckboi. Could tell a more intense narrative though.

Ah yes, I believe you're talking about this marvelously heart-wrenching comic drawn by Cannibalingus on twitter, right? As mentioned in the notes of the follow up comic page, canon has been changed up a bit. I think it's a really interesting AU to explore.

On that note, I'll give a quick warning that post will contain a lot of heavy topics such as cheating, chronic illness, lying, manipulation, gaslighting, destructive actions, the effects of sexual trauma, and a boatload of angst and drama among other sketchy implied things. This fandom is for Adults Only for a reason after all, and not just because of the smut.

For the most part, the fandom uses a picture Sauce drew a while back and posted on their old twitter as a basis for Ian cheating. Credit, as always, goes to them for their fabulous art. Remember, don't share anything privately posted on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon.

Technically, this picture is non-canon unless it appears on an official SDJ page like the tumblr or twitter, but development art like this tends to really capture our imaginations when it comes to lore and headcanons. I use this picture as the basis for my own headcanons and what happened when Ian cheated on Alice in Sunshine in Hell.

In the numerous previous posts where I talked about Ian's affair, particularly this lengthy one, I compared why he wound up cheating to a frog not realizing the water is getting gradually hotter until it's boiled alive. I think it happened with a series of lines being crossed slowly over time until finally a line was crossed that Ian could no longer justify it as anything innocent. This then would result in his guilt-wracked phone call that we see in this picture.

The comic proposes a different scenario, where Ian chose not to confess, but continued to cross the line. He has full knowledge that what he's doing is wrong, but he does it anyway. Maybe it just made the sex that much more exciting to him. Further, he told his affair partner so many things that he says to MC in the demo, both in the present and in the past.

Really, I find it interesting Ian can still a lot of the say the same things to MC that he said in the past even after cheating, but I digress.

In my version of the canon, the reason why Alice forgave Ian and still loves him is because he did confess right away. He apologized sincerely, and she knows him well enough to know that he is truly does feel immense guilt for what he's done.

Alice convinced herself that this really was just a mistake. Ian has a history of these sorts of mistakes in the heat of the moment. He's a sensitive person and reacts strongly. He wants so badly to be loved and cared for. It's not hard to accept that he got swept up in the attention and care in a place where he felt so lonely... and it's hard not to believe that he lost control of himself when he got horny when he's done so before when they were intimate.

It's a pattern between them, of Ian being apologetically himself and making so many mistakes... and Alice protecting him and forgiving him. She knows he's a wounded soul who has been abused, bullied, and isolated so badly when growing up. He only really had her, and when he left for that school to pursue his dream, he suddenly was without her and her support except over phone or text. She certainly felt lonely in their apartment without him, her family, or friends living nearby...

It's because of all that history together and knowing Ian so well that, unfortunately, led to Alice convincing herself that she needed to forgive him. She needed to be strong for them. He needed her more than ever when he was at his weakest. This was the man that she wanted to spend her life with, who she left her family to be with when the two of them moved far away from where their families lived in order to escape the grasping talons of his narcissist mother and her flying monkeys.

They were both hurting, and Alice believed that the only way to heal that hurt was forgiveness. The way she was going about things, and their relationship in general, was wildly unhealthy - kindness and compassion taken to toxic extremes. Mercifully others who cared about her helped her see that this wasn't healthy for either of them, and that the kindest thing she could do for both of them is to end things after things soured so bad and the trust was just... gone.

Everything changes if Ian's affair was similar to the one depicted in the comic.

Alice is a kind person, at times too kind to her own detriment, but a betrayal of that level would make her realize that she never actually knew Ian at all.

Ian didn't confess immediately, so it wasn't a mistake in the heat of the moment. This was a deliberate betrayal done many, many times over. So many lies are exposed in these series of texts. All those times he claimed that he only wanted and loved Alice... that he could only find her attractive... that he only really needed her? All lies. They're nothing but cheap, pretty words he tells to other people in order to get his dick wet.

Even if the screenshots are faked, the pictures are real. Alice knows Ian's naked body. She's intimately familiar with him. She knows it's him, and these are pictures that he never sent her. They were meant for someone else...

The content of the texts are just so painfully familiar too. So many things Ian used to tell her all the time... Were they just lines to make someone feel special so that he could sleep with them? Once upon a time, "I love you" and "I need you" made her feel wonderful, irreplaceable... but who knows how many other people Ian "loves" and "needs" besides her?

Then comes the part where Alice is referenced in the text. Maybe even she was mentioned by name so there's no doubt. Maybe there were even some chats about her, about how this other person is so much more attractive than her... This person Ian is talking to knows he's in a relationship and is just as cruel of a person to mock her just by having the affair... and fucking in their bed while she's out.

Hell, Alice might even have been friends with this person Ian cheated on her with. Sadly, a lot of times partners cheat with someone very, very close to the person they're cheating on...

Denial is the first reaction from Alice of course. This couldn't be real. This isn't Ian, not her Ian. It can't be. She checks timestamps, images... demands answers from the unknown person who sent it, who they are, how they got it, how they found out... She doesn't want this to be real...

The denial doesn't last long, not when there's too much proof that Ian was someone Alice never actually knew at all...

Pain, disgust, horror, betrayal, and all sorts of other awful emotions overwhelm Alice, and she has to go to the bathroom to throw up. The stress makes her chronic illness flare up, painful and awful... but she refuses to lie down in that bed knowing that Ian fucked someone else in it while he and that fake "friend" probably laughed about how she was too stupid to realize that he was just using her.

Did Ian ever care about Alice at all? Was she just useful? She helped and supported him so much... studying, moving, getting connections, pushing him to go for his dream... She waited for him to come back from that stupid prestigious college all that time, alone. Out there he had been surrounded by hot models and actors like his anime waifus and husbandos he drooled over in his "not porn" ecchi. How many people did he sleep with? What if he gave her an STI? What if he got someone pregnant and hid it?

Alice has to know. It hurts too much not to... but she can't let Ian stop her... lie to her until she does... So she uses one of those emergency travel locks used to make hotel stays more secure on their apartment door so the keys won't work when he gets home, giving her time to tear their apartment completely upside-down.

Every scrap of evidence on his laptop, in his room that Ian kept his stuff in but didn't sleep in is scoured through. Why the fuck did he not sleep with other people in his bed? Or maybe he did and that's why it still smelled clean because he was good at covering his tracks. Maybe it's because changing their sheets often was normal and thus easier to hide than his own sheets when he never used his bed...

Speaking of that bed, Alice gets all the dirty secrets Ian is hiding underneath his bed that he panicked about her finding. She always assumed they were porn mags, but they're far more incriminating things that make it clear without a shadow of a doubt that the screencaps are all true.

The videos of Ian having sex on an innocent unmarked USB drive hidden in a sock under his bed chases away the last of her denials.

Alice knows Ian's passwords, and those she doesn't, she can guess. He's a creature of habit - predictable despite his secret double life. She copies everything incriminating and deletes the photos of her. Most of them are innocent, but she sent some suggestive things while he had been away at school. It sickens her to see them now. Some of those shots... did she remember taking them? It's hard not to feel paranoid about pictures that were taken candidly that seem questionable now. Did she know Ian was taking them? Saving them?

Who was this man that she gave up everything for?

Sex and lies, sex and lies... It's sickening, and Alice throws up again, this time just bile since her stomach is empty. She feels used and violated in a way that makes her body shake. It hurts. It hurts so, so much... but she can't stop. Not now. Not with this ball of hatred festering inside her gut.

All the love Alice had for Ian has been irrevocably tainted into hate. There's nothing he can say to defend himself or fix things after everything she found to damn him. What of his she didn't send to himself as evidence, she destroys. The half heart pendant she used to cherish? She takes a hammer to it and smashes it on top of his laptop and his video game consoles.

The apartment is half destroyed by the time Ian gets home. He tries the lock, but it won't work for some reason. He jiggles the handle and knocks, asking Alice to let him in and worries about the strange noises he heard inside. Is she okay?

Silence is his only answer.

The sudden silence panics Ian, and he pounds on the door a little more, asking if Alice is okay. He knows even with prescription medication, she sometimes has really bad attacks of pain. Did he need to take her to the hospital? Was she lying on the floor, unable to call out for help because she's in so much pain? He starts banging his shoulder against the door harder, trying to break in.

The quiet clicking of a chain and the travel lock goes unnoticed as he keeps banging the door with his shoulder, and Ian goes tumbling into the apartment and falls to the floor when the door suddenly is flung open.

For a second, Ian is relieved to see Alice is on her feet, but then he realizes something is very, horribly wrong.

Alice has been crying. That much is obvious from the tear tracks on her face and the redness in her eyes. It's her eyes especially that seize Ian with a new kind of fear.

There's no love in her eyes as she looks at him. In her eyes he sees the same disgust he saw in his mother's eyes and in those of his classmates while growing up. It's a look that's utterly alien coming from Alice of all people, the one person who was by his side and protected him all this time.

Before Ian has the chance to ask what's wrong or even speculate, Alice flings something down on his face - an innocent little USB stick, snapped in half. At first he's confused, then comes the horrifying realization when he recognizes it.

That's when the protests happen, the apologies, the excuses... even defensiveness as Ian scrambles to his feet. It's not what it looks like! The people in those pictures and video aren't real - they're just AI - just some dumb guilty pleasure. What was Alice doing going through his stuff and looking under his bed? How could she violate his trust like this?!

After lying for so, so long, Ian can only lie more and twist things around on the desperate hope that it's not too late to salvage things.

Alice can only feel her disgust for this lying toad that she always called her prince charming.

How did Alice never see it before? Ian was such a good actor now. She helped him get so good to achieve his dream. Even in the face of irrefutable evidence, he still acts the victim. Poor, pathetic Ian being bullied again. How could Alice do that to him too?

The cold, unyielding silence and hatred shake Ian to his core. He's never seen Alice like this before, not to him. None of his excuses are breaking through the hatred in her eyes. Lying and acting won't work anymore and it sinks in that he's fucked up. It's over. She doesn't have to say it, he can see it in her eyes.

Ian breaks down, babbling out apologies and excuses, sobbing uncontrollably. This isn't an act, he begs for her forgiveness, begging her to talk to him as he starts clinging to her.

Alice slaps his hand away, hissing out a hoarse, "Don't touch me!"

Ian reels back, holding his hand. It stung, but the pain is nowhere near as bad as the hatred in her eyes.

The tension between them is thick, slimy, and acidic, as if both of them are breathing in poison.

There's so much Alice wants to say. She wants to demand how he could do this to her. Was it worth it? How many people did he cheat on her with? How long had this been going on? How much of everything was a lie? Why they hell was he even with her!?

Alice is so, so angry. She's never been this angry in her life. She should be screaming at Ian, calling him every horrible name under the sun... hurt him like she's hurting right now.

But Alice is in so, so, so much pain. Even the "just in case" pills for her worst flare ups aren't doing much except taking the edge off at this point. Only her anger is keeping her standing, but it's constricting tight around her throat, guts, and heart, choking the life from her.

The pain is too much. Alice can't even look at Ian anymore, can't be here anymore.

"Goodbye, Ian." The words are so, so hard to force out from her constricted throat.

Ian once more babbles apologies, cries and begs... but it's all white noise to Alice. She has heard this song and dance a million times, and she knows now everything that comes spewing out of that mouth of his is lies.

The friend she had for so long, the love of her life... they never really existed, did they? This is just like that other "friend" she had in high school who asked her out only to turn around and claim it was a joke, that she was far too disgusting and fat for anyone to seriously think about asking her out... only Ian took years to finally let her in on the joke he played on her.

Alice can't listen to Ian anymore. She grabs her essentials while Ian follows her around, pleading with her to just stop and listen. He can explain, really he can!

During her earlier rampage, Alice contacted the only person in the area she was close to - Shaun. He had moved to the area recently, even stayed at their apartment for a while until he got his own place.

Is Shaun coming? Her text was vague, just asking him to come get her and that she needs to leave. Now. She almost sent him the screenshots, but there's too many photos of Ian naked in them. At least Shaun said that he was on his way.

Mercifully, Shaun shows up. He's in a panic, worried that Alice got sick and needed to be rushed to the hospital. Their front door is open, and Ian's sobbing, babbling apologies reach him even before he comes inside. There's just enough for Shaun to get the gist... and he's enraged.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Ian?!"

Ian whirls around to see Shaun storming in. Shaun is so much bigger than him, stronger, and far more intimidating. If it comes to blows, he won't win.

Shaun doesn't take any of Ian's excuses or apologies, throwing back what he just heard in Ian's face. How could Ian do that to Alice? How can he ask for forgiveness after that?

It serves as enough of a distraction for Alice to finish putting her things together, at least the vital stuff. Everything else... she'll get later. She has the important things, and she needs to leave or she'll crumble and break to pieces. She cuts off the argument between the two men by tugging at Shaun's sleeve and saying near tears, "Let's just go."

Shaun doesn't need to be told twice. Ian tries to stop Alice from leaving, but Shaun isn't going to let him get in the way. Shaun escorts Alice from the apartment, promising that he'll be back for the rest of her stuff for her, and Ian better not break any of her stuff unless he wants his legs broken in return.

It's only when the two are in the elevator, when Ian is no longer in sight, that Alice can't keep it together anymore. She collapses against Shaun, weeping and wailing out so much pain...

The trip to Shaun's place is quiet except for Alice's quiet pained whimpering as she lies back in the reclined passenger seat in a near fetal position. She's not present enough to talk, just trying to escape all of the pain that she can. If not for the rage directing her on a path of destruction, she would've downed every bit of alcohol Ian stored at their apartment to try and numb the pain, but it's too late for her to take that option now.

Shaun lets Alice sleep in his bed that night. Though she's not used to sleeping alone and feels lonely, she struggles with being touched right now, feeling so used and filthy after what Ian did to her. She only sleeps when her energy is gone, and she wakes up still feeling miserable. She can barely manage to text work that she'll be out sick.

Shaun went to her favorite food place to snag breakfast back when they were at college and served it to her while she was still in bed. He knows about how stress makes her sickness worse, so he's going to do all that he can to make things easier on her.

It's after Alice manages to get some food and medicine down that she starts talking. It's just a couple words at first, then a few more, and soon it's just a deluge of everything she found out, all the lies and the shit Ian put her through both behind her back and in front of it. She didn't realize that there was so much more wrong between them until she started unloading, and she can't seem to stop. At some point she started clinging to Shaun, crying in his arms as he held her tight, but she kept going until all she could do was cry...

The days and weeks that follow are... rough.... to say the least. Ian sent so many texts that first day, and left so many voicemails... Alice didn't listen to any of them. She didn't read what he had to say. It was only when she had what she wanted to say ready in her mind that she sent him a long email that contained all her hurt from his betrayal. They had a brief back and forth, just enough for him to answer her questions like why.

All Ian has are excuses... and Alice has had enough of them. She ends things by telling him to never contact her again before blocking him on everything.

Ian isn't someone Alice loves anymore, can't love. His love for her was lies, lies, lies... Just one big joke at her expense. He used her for so much... support, to be an emotional crutch, a fuck toy that he played with roughly despite her trauma, all for the sake of "love"...

It disgusts Alice to think of how much she endured for a scumbag like that. She's been used in a way that makes her want to peel her skin off, and she's taken a lot of showers where she's scrubbed her skin raw.

Ian knows where Shaun's place is, but Shaun makes sure to let security for the building know to be on the lookout for Ian and keep him out.

Shaun, being the good friend he is, asks Alice if she wants to move in with him... but after what happened with Ian, she feels uneasy about that. Her trust has been damaged in a way that she needs time and space to repair. She does talk it through with him, and he understands. He even helps her move into a new apartment, one a good distance away from her old place and promises not to tell Ian where it is.

Alice changes jobs too. A yogurt shop right beside her apartment is fine. It doesn't pay as much as the gig at the library did, but Ian went to her place of work to talk to her, and just once was enough.

Fuck Ian. Fuck him in the way that he would hate the most and cry about. And fuck the small part of Alice that still loves him even as the rest of her hates him.

Word spreads about what Ian did, and friends choose sides, mostly Alice's considering the circumstances. Unlike in the main universe where some are divided or being neutral, few can buy that Ian really is remorseful after such rampant lies and cheating.

The King family is shocked and outraged at Ian. I mentioned their reactions to Ian cheating in a previous post, but the fallout is even more severe in this AU. After all... Alice no longer cares if Ian is hurt, and what he did to her is far worse than the normal universe.

After Alice moves, her whole family comes to visit her for housewarming and to help cheer her up. The new apartment is small, so it's a crowded party, but it helps. Mama King even brings her plenty of beautiful flowers to decorate the new place.

There's no more mention of Ian around Alice. She doesn't ask about him, and has asked others not to bring him up to her. Shaun still keeps an eye on things though, just in case. He heard from someone that Ian moved out of the old apartment and left a message that he's sorry and for Alice to have a good life. Shaun doesn't pass the message along.

Ian was also thoroughly exposed online. Alice didn't spread it, but screenshots were leaked, even on his socials. It seems unlikely that he would post his own sexts and nudes, so it seems a hacker might have done it.

Alice doesn't care to look into it even after some friends inform her of what happened. It must've been done by that unknown number that sent her the screenshots in the first place. They must've gotten all the dirt on Ian too. Guess saving all that evidence is pointless now. She deletes it all so she doesn't have to think about Ian ever again.

No one has seen Ian since. Some people think he moved back out to the area where he went to college, or went off to live with his affair partner and is hiding away in shame, as no one has seen them either, but no one has been able to contact him. Some are a bit worried about what this could mean...

Alice comes out of this incident even more wary and untrusting of people... and at the same time also lonelier than ever once her family goes back to their home and things settle in the new place. It's hard for her to get close to anyone new, and it's taking her a while to relax around her friends again.

Eventually though, a trip to the thrift store will wind up with an innocent purchase on a whim. Finally Alice will have a use for the VCR Shaun gave her when he upgraded to a better model...

Of course, even Jack is going to have a hard time helping Alice trust people again. Convincing her to be his friend and to help him is much harder too. She was used by "friends" before...

Despite this... even though she's been hurt so badly, Alice still can't bring herself to let an innocent soul stay damned in hell... She won't let what happened with Ian happen again, but she won't let him change who she is either. Not everyone is a liar. People do suffer and need help sincerely. She has been one of those people more times than she likes. It's why she still insists on living on her own despite how miserable she is. She'll be strong for herself and take care of those who deserve it.

That agreement of consent between them is even more strongly emphasized in this AU. A few less loopholes to be found, and a stronger emphasis that the agreement can be broken at any time without penalty. Alice makes it clear that if Jack ever lies to her or tricks her, he's gone. Jack, desperate, doesn't hesitate to agree. He doesn't have a choice after all.

Things are even more tense when Alice wakes up in the aftermath, far more distrusting of Jack, not wanting him to touch her at all, so she tumbles off the sofa this time. It leaves Jack feeling nervous and even more desperate to please Alice and earn her trust.

It's a slower burn in this universe. Jack is on thin ice at times at the start, but manages to pluck at Alice's heartstrings. The empathy bond between them makes it hard for her to be cold to him. She's not reaching out for him as readily as she does in Sunshine in Hell, but she's not scorning him either. She still errs on the side that if Jack is real, then it would be shitty of her to treat him like just a figment of her imagination.

Alice doesn't tell Shaun right away about her new roommate, though she is aware that he would probably believe her and would be excited for supernatural shit like this. It's only when things settle a bit and she starts getting used to Jack that she does.

Because Shaun is introduced to Jack as a new supernatural ghost(?) friend and there's nothing about Alice being in a romantic relationship with Jack (and neither Shaun nor Alice know about the whole soul agreement since Alice forgot her first meeting with Jack), it's treated as something exciting to Shaun. A friendly ghost clown pal who can write messages? Oh, he's so jealous of her luck!

Jack has to take things slow and be cautious, but he can't help but feel uneasy about Shaun's closeness with Alice, at least relative to his current closeness with her. He can tell there's nothing romantic about it... at least from her end, but Shaun is a closer friend to Alice than Jack is and Jack sees how Shaun looks at her sometimes... This is something that needs to change if he doesn't want to risk losing his sunshine...

At the same time, interacting with another person helps Jack get a more solid grip on reality. It's subtle, but he can notice. Shaun is treating Jack as a favorable presence overall, being excited at his existence. It's not so simple as to just eliminate the rival when Shaun is also useful... He'll have to play this cautiously.

Really, this AU would have a bit more tension and a thriller vibe under the surface, but, you know me, I can't help but be a sucker for healing vanilla sweetness with my OTP. Though it'll take longer and there'll be more bumps in the road, I'd like to imagine that eventually Jack manages to help Alice heal, like he does for him. Though it's possible there's going to be a bit of a love triangle along the way until they finally get together.

As for Ian... no one ever hears from him ever again. It's almost funny considering his big dreams of becoming a famous actor. Whatever happened to that guy anyway? Maybe someone decided that cheaters need to pay a heavier price than just getting their belongings smashed and their dirty laundry aired online...

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

[greyfacade]

Ask game questions! 5, 7, 8, and 23 for spamton bc I'm legally obligated to ask about him. You don't have to do all of them tho if you don't want!

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor

First song I thought of, though I'm sure there are other more suitable songs I could come up with. But honestly, due to my illness I don't get to listen to music often. I'm sensitive to sound.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

There's been some really nice fanart, and I love the fake ad ones people make, and the pinups. I love buying merch from people.

Its also nice when people treat their plushes nicely, or actually see him as more than just the "funny salesman." Don't get me wrong, Spamton's is an awesome a salesman and all, but that's not all he is.

Oh, my fave part though, is how everyone celebrates his fan birthday. Thats super sweet. I love seeing people make fanart for that.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Hm.. there's lot of great fanart of him, and you can see what I post already.

But I guess his shop sprite. It's fun to talk to him.

I do wonder what he would be like in person though.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Haha... heh.... well, this will get long... (Sorry.)

Mostly just the fact that the fandom is made up of a LOT of hateful people, who hatepost about Spamton because he's "popular," or because their fans of Swatch/Queen/Addisons and are in denial about what those guys did to him so they try to pin it on Spamton by saying "he deserved it" or saying it never happened.

Which is REALLY ironic in a way. But wait, we got more!

(_WARNING: RANT INCOMING!_ You dont have to read this.)

Many people can't get past the "funny salesman" trope. They think the salesman pitch Spamton puts on is literally all he is, that he really is this guy who is silly, obsessed with money, and batshit crazy. Does no one know how entertainment works!? Has no one ever followed a YouTuber or Twitch streamer, or gone to the circus or seen a live show? That how people act in front of a camera, isnt how they act all the time!? Spamton doesn't actually care about money, he said it himself; he does all he does because he's an entertainer trying to survive! The Spamton Sweepstakes, the Fangamer ads, the Twitter replies... while they contain truths and genuine things about him, for much of it, he's playing everyone like fiddles! He's saying whatever the hell he can to make you buy his shit, because funny thing, its his job! And the things is, it WORKS. Everyone totally buys in to it! But while I'm sure he does find joy in what he does, it can also be kind of painful that everyone actually thinks that's all he is in a way... they infantilize him, they treat him like he's crazy/stupid, they stereotype him, they make fun of him, they talk about wanting to hurt him... and they think its okay, because "he's in on the joke." Yeah? You really think anyone would find joy in seeing you make art of them getting abused/hurt/killed? REALLY? Ever thought that maybe... its not actually okay....

I guess I feel bothered by it. Sure Spamton chooses to play up all the stereotypes about him so that people will buy his stuff, and its cool that he can still joke about things like that. But... I wish people saw more of the real him sometimes, and realized he deserves kindness and respect like anyone else.

But I think Spamton is a good example of how people go too far, how they'll greedily take everything from someone, even their dignity, if it means feeding their own happiness. How they can't separate entertainment from reality (... yeah yeah, some irony there as I'm talking about a fictional character...)

In a way, the Spamton fandom, often represents to me, much of the things I hate about the entertainment industry, hell even fandom. I'm glad people love him and buy his stuff, but I also wish they liked him for kinder reasons. I hope that if he continues to be in entertainment, he gets to make something he loves, that allows him to be who he wants to be. Because like many of us, he sometimes gets trapped in a role, determined by other people. And while some of it is true, like he is funny and has a dark sense of humor, and I'm sure he does enjoy many of the things he does... but some of it, I think is sort of forced on him. It's like if you don't act the way everyone wants, they'll get angry or abandon you. And that, thats awful.

(And Im not saying don't enjoy his salesman persona, just that, I wish people saw the rest of him too. Because he's a kind, caring and brave guy, and I really wish him the best ya know?)

.... of course, I admit this might be some of my own self-projection too, but lets not unpack THAT.

...

......

You made it this far, wow... uh... *gives you a gold star saying "I just wasted several minutes of my life to an insane fan rant." except all the words don't fit on the star, so it just says "I just wasted."*

... *runs away while you ponder the star*

[alchemiclee]

i've been told/keep seeing posts about people suddenly not liking when people add tags to their posts with their own thoughts/feelings/opnions/experiences, and even people that say not to tag with certain common organizational tags (like ships for example i see the most. some people use a ship name for organization purposes and not necessarily for shipping. for example i use "collei and her dads" for cyno, tighnari, collei art for my organization so I cam find them again and theres been a few artists screaming not to use ship tags and that could be seen as a ship tag. so what do i do? not organize your art into my tags and let it get lost and never seen again? not share your art at all? kinda silly but whatever, ill just ignore your art).

I personally think that's all a bit ridiculous....i don't know if that's a more recent thing (like with twitter people coming here suddenly and expecting to act like this is twitter) or if it happened in the years since I took a break from tumblr. but bAcK iN mY DaY we used tags as a little whisper to add our own thoughts without interrupting the main post. adding hard comments or replies was more seen as "too much/too loud" if it wasn't something directly meant for OP. tags were usually never meant for OP and were always for the reblogger and their followers. these days more and more people seem to think tags on their posts are all speaking to them directly or interrupting their post (not to say you can't speak to OP through tags, like i'll say nice things about their art in tags) but not everything in someone's tags on a post they reblog from you is for you! you can ignore it!!!

I know on twitter (where I went after leaving tumblr a while back) people use quote retweets to speak to the OP often. but not always. I sometimes would quote a tweet to add my own thoughts while using the quote as like a citation to credit OP for the idea. but I have a few times where the OP thought I was speaking to/about them and got very upset about it. one was a large account who quoted me back and got very nasty and sent their minions after me. quotes are louder than tumblr tags. so that's more understandable, and I was always very hesitant to do it, but I personally see indirect tweets about another post as extremely rude and posting screenshots of tweets on twitter is also rude.

I loved coming back here mainly for the tag system! I missed being able to share a post and also quietly add my thoughts. go on long rambles related to the main post without stealing their post completely or needing to make a whole new post. I know most old tumblr users get that and don't care, probably. I NEVER saw anyone complain about it in the past. only say how much they love it. it was just part of how this site worked for us. a culture thing we naturally created. so i'm assuming it's mostly new users who don't get this culture? it also doesn't help tumblr made it so you now see tags in your notes tab and not just comments added and replies. before, you would have to go to "someone reblogged your post" to see if they added tags because tumblr only showed comments. I personally LOVE when people add tags to my post with their thoughts and stories and whatnot. ai i'd go to every reblog I got to see if there's tags added. it's like an uncommitted interaction. they dont expect a reply, i don't expect a reply. they are isolated thoughts, but still related. it's still a form of interaction, without the pressure of being direct, and I feel seen/heard when they add them. (it means they're not a bot, auto reblogging my posts /hj) seeing tags on my posts i'm not just shouting into the void alone and someone sees me. me adding tags to a post is a gentle "you're not alone/I hear you/im a real person not a bot" from me. but it also could be me saying "your post inspired me! I want to write something too! but im being quiet about it so i dont take away from your post and your post gets all the credit" when I add my own little tag ramble.

so the fact that people are now suddenly being upset by people adding their own experiences and thoughts to tags is super disappointing and and frankly annoying. tags don't take away from your post and you can just ignore them! no one is forcing you to expand the tags in your notes and read them! hardly anyone will see them. most will only read your post and not people's tags! I know no one usually reads my tags because i've added secret messages to the end of my tags and no one ever responds to it lmao things like send a pic in my ask and i'll draw it for you.

yes I know "RESPECT PEOPLE BOUNDARIES" but it kind of disrespects my needs as well. theres a thin line between someone's boundaries being crosses and someone's needs not being met. but that's a whole debate i'm not willing to have so don't start it. (not that kind of boundary is easy to not cross. not bringing up arguments. but asking people to not use a main function of a website is kind of pushing it imo...) yeah I want to respect boundaries the best i can, but unless you say in the post "don't reblog and add your own tags" no one will know and you get upset when no one knows. and no, no one will read your profile/pinned post before reblogging. no one will go to the original post and read your tags. they will only reblog it right off their dash if they aren't seeing it directly from you in the tags/for you page. some people will reblog 100 posts a day. they won't go to every profile/original post before reblogging just to see if you have any special conditions and rules for your random one post out of hundreds they see a day. that's too much to expect, honestly, sorry to say!

but this is tumblr. maybe it's better for people to accept the culture/etiquette here and let it happen without complaining, or realize this isn't the place for them! because it doesn't meet their needs and boundaries! and that's ok! it doesn't have to be your place. you don't need to stay here if you don't like how it works! asking an entire website to "respect your boundaries" by not participating in a basic or essential function of the website is a little ridiculous to be fair....

no i'm not saying your boundaries don't deserve to be respected. i'm saying this probably isn't the place to have those boundaries in the first place. because there's am established way this site functions that works in counter to your wanted boundaries, so it just doesn't fit your needs. and like I said that's ok! you don't need to stay here if it upsets you that much! it's better if you find a social media where people can't share your posts. like a simple blog site that doesn't have a share function! or like Instagram? people cant share those posts. (sorry, I dont know much about social media) if you really want people to stop adding tags that bad, either turn off reblogs completely, or ask staff to add a notification option to turn off seeing added tags on reblogs! (if you're veeerry lucky, and not a trans woman, they might listen to you)

[catinheadlights]

Do you potentially have the Official Player Warning PMs in full? I know the important part was the AI admittance but I'd like to analyse it in full. I for some reason never got it.

- @sylestia-archive

Yes! I screenshotted the entirety of the PMs on the day I received them. I believe they were sent out on December 12th, 2022 based on when they were saved.

Under the cut because it's A Lot.

Not directed at you specifically, but to clarify for others who may be reading these without context: some of it is highly exaggerated and shaky at best, and some of it is stupid to complain about on its face. My memory is bad and I did not witness every conversation everyone has had about this stuff, so I can't speak on how true every single claim is. I have seen people say things that I felt were overly rude and mean-spirited in private towards a third party, though that isn't harassment. Do not harass or assume ill of anyone named in the PM. Despite the wording, there was not a Horrible Evil SJW Cult on the site that got busted, Krin just decided everyone he sent it to was basically a monolith for some reason. Not everyone who received the PM participated in any of it at all. The reason I got it was because: 1) I assumed the AI art wasn't AI and said in a private discord server that it was a waste to unnecessarily commission new, heavily detailed item icons. 2) I also said that some of the avatar items and a theme name were Bad, Actually (will stick avatar item images in after the PMs).

In regular text (copied and pasted, typos included):

This is PM 1 of 2 on this topic.

This PM is being sent to a group of individuals who are part of ongoing investigations into the source of targeted harassment, toxic behavior, and borderline illegal activity. If you are receiving this message, we have determined with certainty that you have been involved in these activities, supported these activities, promoted these activities, or schemed about these activities.

The players, Tisquares and Limor, have been permanently banned for the following reasons.

Tisquares: Sought out sensitive, personal information regarding site administrators and shared said personal information both in a shared Discord group channel and through private DMs. This is extremely beyond any semblance of acceptable behavior and we, as a private business, do not wish to serve any individual who takes such actions; let alone any individual who would even contemplate such actions. This is such a gross violation of our privacy. I also want everyone to be aware that doxxing is against the law. We will absolutely not hesitate to take legal action if this happens.

Limor: Created a social media account impersonating an official Sylestia Twitter account and then used said fake account to post negative and potentially damaging slander towards both Sylestia and its administrators. This is extremely inappropriate behavior where the individual intentionally was attempting to cause harm to Sylestia and/or its administrators. There is zero tolerance for such behavior and we do not wish to serve any individual who seeks to intentionally damage our site or its staff/players.

Other gross invasions of our privacy that we have received include being harassed on our own private, personal social media accounts, being stalked on our own private, personal social media accounts, and receiving harassment to our own private, personal email accounts. This type of behavior is extremely inappropriate and borderline illegal. If you think that these types of actions are not a big deal, then I highly advise you to read up on cyberbullying and cyberstalking laws. For a group of players that champions themselves on being a voice for minorities, these types of actions are beyond hypocritical. If you want to continue with these types of actions, we will not hesitate to issue more permanent bans; let alone to seek legal actions against the individuals involved.

Throughout our investigation into these matters, we have seen a plethora of misinformation, misunderstood motives, and just flat out made-up information that we have absolutely no idea who sourced it. I would like to take some time to address some of the misinformation that we saw. Clearly, there is some immense amount of misinterpretation going on here.

Faiona's Role with Sylestia: Reading through countless ridiculous claims, slander, and disrespectful messages about Faiona was extremely disheartening. Sylestia would literally not exist without her work. Since it seems to be a very hot topic amongst this group, I would like to address some things - even though it really is not anyone's business how work is distributed amongst staff.

Firstly, no, Faiona is not a coder. Blaming her for anything coding related is absolutely ridiculous. There literally is zero overlap.

Secondly, no, Faiona is not an artist. Mocking her for the site's original artwork is also equally as ridiculous. The original artwork was created by a contracted artist, just like all of the site's art. The few exceptions are items and site assets created by me. These would include things like the original Experience Orb, random check marks, plus signs, etc.

Thirdly, yes, Faiona is still heavily involved in the development of Sylestia. While I maintain mostly a front-end position and write all of the code, she works almost exclusively on content-creation. She works daily with our artists working on new artwork. She spends dozens of hours every Festival on picking out Themed Pets and she spends a dozen hours every Festival on Forum Games. In addition to those main roles, her and I consult each other on virtually any minor or major Sylestia-based decision. It also should go without saying, but her and I's work relationship is absolutely nobody's business but our own. We maintain a great working relationship. Some people are mature enough to be able to separate their personal life form their work life. Sylestia would absolutely be worse off without her hard work and input. If you think otherwise, you quite literally have no idea what you're talking about.

Other ridiculous claims that I recall seeing...

Majority of Admin Themed Pets?

I mostly create them or heavily edit them. Also, in general, the official Admin Themed Pets do very well. Not all of them, of course. But easily 2/3 or 3/4 are successful and generate a lot of sales related activity.

Forum Games posted early?

I specifically request it so that players have something to do until the actual Festival begins.

The naming of Admin Themed Pets, Pet Traits, or Avatar Items? 95%+ are named by me, not Faiona.

Banning of players?

I am literally the only person to have ever banned an account in any capacity. 

Logging into my account? 

Seriously? No. 

2021 Summer Festival - Mermaid Caller Puffadore Raffle: I am not sure exactly what happened, but it seems clear that we missed the Puffadore Raffle on this one. My best guess is that I thought Faiona was going to do it and she thought I was going to do it and, in the end, neither of us did it. Yes, Unstaeble contacted me on December 17th of 2021 regarding this issue. I legitimately thought that we had already parsed it and told Unstaeble as such. When Unstaeble questioned my response, I responded by saying that I would investigate further when I had a chance. Unfortunately, I never got around to it, forgot about it, and that was the last that I heard about it - until this investigation. For some reason, this was considered to be gaslighting on my part? I am not sure how that was the conclusion reached. The middle of December is an extremely busy time for me. At that time, I was currently out of town on vacation to visit family. While on my holiday vacations, I am stuck on a laptop coding for hours, putting in artwork for a dozen+ hours, trying to handle a massive influx of support issues because it's always the busiest time of the year, and also trying to enjoy my actual vacation and visit with family. I am sorry. By the time I returned home, I had forgotten to check up on it. It was absolutely nothing more than a small honest mistake. I am sorry that this was somehow determined to be gaslighting and something malicious. It was nothing more than simple human error. Anyone could have easily just sent me another reminder PM and I would have happily parsed it properly. As such, now that we are aware of it, we will go ahead and parse it now.

Shamrock Warden Luffox/Lagoon Mermaid Zolnixi/Admin Themed Pets in General: Both of these noted Themed Pets and their Restricted Trait Sets were highly popular and profitable. It may come as a surprise, but there are thousands of players who make up the entire player base and not all of them will share the same design opinions as all of you. You don't have to like every single design that we release. It is absolutely in our best interest to release popular designs. Believe me, that is always our goal. It is kind of how the business makes its money.

2022 Summer Festival Sudoku: I cannot believe this generated so much malcontent. Up through the 2022 Summer Festival, we have always used an online tool to generate our sudoku puzzles. No, we don't create them by hand. No, neither of us are sudoku masters. This was just an honest mistake. And yes, a lot of the sudoku puzzles that we have released over the years end up with multiple viable solutions. It is very easy to figure this out when we grade them - we will receive a proper solution from a player that does not match our answer key. Sometimes, a puzzle has even had two or three different solutions. Clearly, the one from the 2022 Summer Festival was really bad. When this was brought to our attention, we went and purchased a large book of official sudoku puzzles that we will be using from now on. The drama related to WickedPixie has already been discussed (and shared amongst you all already, it seems), but it was extremely unwarranted and inappropriate over something completely innocent and minor.

WickedPixie's Ban: No, the ban is not being lifted nor shortened. We absolutely have enforced retroactive bans before on players for offenses reviewed well after the time of the initial infraction. No, WickedPixie's apology was not sincere and they do not still seem to regret the action itself, but only instead that they are now being reprimanded for it. I quote, "I just need help bullsh*tting an apology."

Glaselk Conspiracies: No, nobody has any relationship with Glaselk. No, they are not treated any differently than others are. No, I personally do not think that they are trolling. Show some empathy towards others who may not be able to communicate as well as yourself. I would expect a group that champions on the cause of social injustices to have more empathy towards others.

Experience Orb and Magical Pie Art: No, no artist time was spent nor wasted on these assets. No, we did not divert any site resources to the specific creation of these assets. We were learning and testing with artwork created by Al and these were our initial test projects. The end results actually ended up being pretty decent, so we decided to use them. No, we are not going to replace any artists with Al artwork. However, we most definitely are looking to supplement where we can so that our artists can continue working full time on more important projects. I think that we are aware of how to properly budget our time and resources. We have been doing this for a decade now. And yes, our artists are aware that we are using Al artwork.

Continued in PM 2 of 2. 

This is PM 2 of 2 on this topic.

Pow Wow Costume Avatar Items: We have already renamed these to Deerskin so any further argument about this is moot. We meant absolutely no offense nor any type of cultural appropriation with the creation of these items. Personally, I love learning about Native American culture and heritage (and all cultures in general). I have visited a handful of Native American reserves throughout my life and have really enjoyed each experience. I believe that culture is meant to be cherished and shared and judging by my personal experiences, this is shared amongst the Native Americans that I have personally met. Creating items for the game that I own and operate is the easiest way for me to do that. We do not really profit from the vast majority of our avatar items. The vast majority are just a business expense to give our players a better experience by allowing them to make their experience on Sylestia feel more real. A lot of players enjoy customizing their avatar to be a representation of themselves. The Pow Wow items were created exactly for that reason. The one thing that I would agree with is that using the word "costume" was a poor choice and was the driving factor for us changing the names. 

Wendigo Morkko: We are well aware of your input regarding this Themed Pet. It has been noted. Wendigos are used throughout popculture and ficiontal works. You can find a show, movie, game, or book about wendigos virtually for every year going back decades. Major shows, games, and movies have referenced these mythological creatures. This Themed Pet was also submitted by a player; it was not named by us. Wendigo is on the same line as any of the plethora of other mythological creatures that we have referenced throughout the site. Three people complaining about this issue, who are conspiring off- site to continue pressing this issue, does not equate to us being racist. That is such a gross and extreme conclusion to draw. Not everyone has to agree with your viewpoints all of the time. You have stated your opinion. You have made it known. Continuing to intentionally spam about this issue will just result in Forum Strikes or other appropriate responses. Sylestia is a browser game. We are not a political action committee. We are not attempting to take any political stances. Play the game and have fun. If you don't like something, don't collect it.

Condoning Hate Speech: There seems to be a massive misunderstanding of our stance on this issue. No, hate speech of any kind is not accepted on Sylestia. It never has been, it never will be, and players who do it will be disciplined appropriately. However, just because you know or suspect another individual has a different world view than your own does not give you the right to harass said individiual. Stalking people's twitter accounts, facebook accounts, deviant art accounts, or anything of that sort is beyond inappropriate and stops now. If we see this type of behavior continuing towards any of our players or staff, we are just going to permanently ban those involved - period. If you don't like someone or don't agree with them and don't want to associate with them, then block and ignore them. You absolutely do not resort to bullying, harassing, or stalking them. If someone is saying or doing something inappropriate on Sylestia, report it to me. We are aware of more than a handful of players who have literally quit Sylestia entirely or have ceased participating in its community specifically due to the harassment and bullying done by or witnessed by this group. And no, I am not talking about so called 'racists', 'sexists', or 'pedophiles'. I am talking about legitimate, upstanding members of the community. I think everyone here needs to look in a mirror and ask yourself if this type of behavior is having a positive effect on the community. Because the answer is that it is not. Treat others with the same respect that you want to be treated with. And if you think maintaining and using a 'public' blacklist is appropriate, it is not. You are doing nothing but feeding more hate.

As a final summation, everyone can consider this a one-time warning. If there is any continuation or escalation of these core issues towards myself, Faiona, our artists, or our players, you will just simply be met with a permanent ban. If anyone continues down the road of doxxing myself or Faiona, we will not hesitate to take legal action.

I implore all of you to carefully think upon all of the people that you have mocked, harassed, bullied, and stalked and really ask yourself, "How would I feel if someone was doing this to me?" I have heard, so many times, from many of you about your concern for Sylestia's future. Do you really think this type of behavior is going to result in a better Sylestia? You are directly working to damage the very thing that you claim to so deeply care about. Both Faiona and I were extremely disappointed to see many of the individuals involved in these acts. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. If you are unsatisfied with Sylestia as a game or community, then just simply spend your time elsewhere. Nobody is forcing you to be on Sylestia.

I hope this will serve as a learning experience for everyone involved. There are appropriate and inappropriate methods of getting your points across and handling disagreements of opinion. I really hope that it is glaringly obvious why all of the actions taken here are grossly inappropriate and there absolutely are consequences to such inappropriate actions. If you do truly care about Sylestia's future, then be the solution and not the problem.

[End of Sylestia warning PM transcription]

There's... a lot to unpack and a lot of context, both stuff that I know and stuff that I don't. I don't really have the energy to dissect it line by line or anything, but that's what he sent in its entirety.

There's also More Stuff related to that PM that might interest you:

Here are the avatar items he was getting defensive about (shown in the default colors, they're recolorable):

They were announced in this thread along with pilgrim avatar items. The images are broken now, but if you use inspect element, you can find their names in the image links. The outfit is epic rarity, and the headbands are rare.

His claim that taking "pow wow" out of the item names and renaming the outfit item to "deerskin outfit" makes it 100% fine comes from this forum post. Chicken Smoothie had a similar issue and renamed their own outfit item to "deerskin outfit", while also allowing players to exchange the item for a different one that was released during the same event as it. It was not possible to obtain new copies of the CS deerskin outfit after the event. In Sylestia, the name was changed and nothing else. It can still drop from retired avatar item chests.

You might also be interested in this old thread about racial representation and the Lost Grove plotline. I also messaged Krin about the WW mork thread which you posted about and the other one that was closed with it:

That's all I can think of at the moment, good luck in getting all the info you can. I might remember more stuff later, idk.

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph chapter 127 english fan translation

hi welcome to the tumblr experience since i'm not risking a 30 post thread on twitter right now

the official is already out on manga plus, i usually only leave the link over there but since it's a special occasion

just for fun as usual so thanks for reading

Chapter 127: Loyalty and Love

Color page text: No matter what happens, I won't let go of your hand.

Energy top-up for exploring the past...!!

Yuu: Haaah....I get SO hungry. And I hit limit-break at the best times. Reliving the past is no small deal.

Yuu: Oh. Great, after this cola I'm all full. Mika, I'm coming back. Hope I make it in time.

Yuu: I'm back

Mika: Shh

Angel Mika: Yuu, guess what. Father says we're gonna have a picnic together! I can't wait...Yuu, you should come with us, ok!?

Yuu: Oh, someone's coming.

Mika: Yeah

Angel Mika: Huh? Did Father come back in?

Yuu: No...

Paimon: *coughing*

Yuu: It's Saitou.

Paimon: *coughing and hacking*

Angel Mika: Oh....

Paimon: You're in my way.

Angel Mika: YUU!!!

Paimon: Die.

Angel Mika: I won't. What...is the meaning of this?

Angel Mika: Leave. Now.

Paimon: SHIT!!

Bael: Paimon

Yuu: ANGEL MIKA'S GOT HANDS!

Paimon: You truly are the King's child...There's no time for this. I'll have to bring my best as well.

Angel Mika: WAIT, JUST WAIT A SECOND! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHY ME? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL-...

Angel Mika: *echoing voice* O, Light

Paimon: ..........shit. You're so strong even just having been born. If I leave you alive here, there will be no hiding you from God's sight.

Angel Mika: I'M TELLING YOU TO JUST WAIT A SECOND. Aren't you Father's closest aide? You're Paimon, the angel Father always speaks so highly of. So why are you of all people doing this? Hey, tell me why you're doing this.

Paimon: There's no time. I'm ending this now.

Angel Mika: I'm just going to lay this out for you. I'm stronger than you. I've been holding back. So your knife there is useless on me.

Paimon: So what?

Angel Mika: So I'm asking what you're doing this for if you understand that already. Your intention is to die with this next hit, isn't it? But I'll counter it, so are you sure you want that death?

Paimon: My death doesn't matter so long as I kill you...

Paimon: *coughing fit*

Angel Mika: What for?

Paimon: ......for the King.

Angel Mika: What? What are you saying...

Paimon: Your existence touches upon the forbidden. The King will be punished for you.

Angel Mika: What? But-

Paimon: Did he tell you he would heal your illness? He's forbidden from that. He created you, he was also forbidden from that. He told me he would cure me too, it's forbidden.

Angel Mika: B-but...Father said I'd get better.

Paimon: You might, but the day you do will be the King's last. And that punishment will not be satisfied with just his death.

Angel Mika: But, Father said we'd all go on a picnic together.

Paimon: He was lying. The King plans to fall alone into Hell.

Angel Mika: But Father said we could always be together.

Paimon: It's all lies. He's going to accept his punishment to protect you.

Angel Mika: He couldn't....

Paimon: But I'm not going to let that happen, I'm going to protect the King from you. Because....I am his most beloved aide!!

Angel Mika: No, dying is.....

Paimon: DIE.

Angel Mika: I DON'T WANT TO, IT'S TOO SCARY!!

Angel Mika: LIGHT

Paimon: O, LIGHT

Yuu: Whoa...

Angel Mika: Oh, oh no...oh, what do I do, I'm so sorry!

Paimon: Ah damn it...you're strong. I couldn't have beaten you.

Angel Mika: What do I do what do I do what do I do......Father, I-I've gotta call Father!

Paimon: Wait, don't. Seeing us like this would hurt him.

Angel Mika: This isn't the time for things like...!

Paimon: I want you to listen to me. I'm thinking about something.

Angel Mika: Thinking? What could you possibly be...?

Paimon: First of all, you don't need to worry about this. I came here knowing I would lose to you. Take a look at these hideous blackened wings. My disease is progressing, I was going to die soon anyways.

Angel Mika: What...

Paimon: But the King refuses to give up on me. He's going to keep trying to save me, even though it will be his end. So then, what should I do?

Paimon: I want you to tell me, child of my King. What can I, in the way that I am, do to leave proof of my love for my King? I just want to protect him.

Angel Mika: You say it like that, but...

Paimon: Do you love your father?

Angel Mika: Huh?

Paimon: Do you love your dad, from the bottom of your heart? That's what I wanted to know. Because if you do, it makes us the same.

Paimon: Light upon the King....and the future of this land....

Angel Mika: Ah....ah....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Angel Mika: It's not true, how can this......why.........

Angel Mika: *cough*

Angel Mika: *cough cough*

Angel Mika: .....so my illness....is going to hurt Father? My existence....it's causing him problems? Is that it, Paimon?

Angel Mika: Aah, what should I do....? Father...it seems like I'm really a burden on you, huh.

Angel Mika: God's punishment.....

Yuu: No, Mika don't

Angel Mika: Aah, I'm scared, Father. I don't think I'm brave enough to do this.

Angel Mika: but...

Angel Mika: I really love you too, Father.

Shikama: What the......

Shikama: Mikaela....Paimon.....it....it can't be....

An instantaneous tragedy.....

[transfemlogan]

You are so right about that post you made about sanders sides, the show has lost so much enjoyability and this fandom is so fucking annoying when people voice their criticisms. Being a fan of tss is so miserable

it sure is. why are we still here. theres nothing here 4 us. we are complaining abt the series & fans & were still... here. why are you still here, anon. why are we both still here.

can u guys tell i have been thinking about leaving this fandom for a 2nd time

i know that sounds like a . happy fun time but really i mainly feel pushed out. im blocked by a majority of fans, both here and instagram apparently (and twitter b4 i left), which makes it hard to interact w/ content (not that i am like... WAHH WAHH UNBLOCK ME RIGHT NOW!!!) but. i dont even want to interact w/ content. none of it intrigues me.

i left the 1st time bcuz i had 2 watch my black mutuals get called the n word & have white fans argue w/ me in my inbox.

and now im still seeing that racism. i had my mutual & close friend, chance sankiisides, get a callout post & be pushed out of the fandom because of racist ass fans who dont know shit.

this fandom not only is the most annoying and aggrivating fandom ever, you guys refuse to make anyone who isnt a white queer feel safe.

im still here because, despite all its issues, i adore sanders sides. i still am thinking abt this series constantly. i am still analysing it. despite its newer, terrible writing & mischaracterisation of the characters, i am still watching. despite thomas being the most annoying creator ive ever had 2 witness, i still watch his content. because i still like him and what he makes. because i cant ignore how genuinely happy i get when i watcb his videos. i hate this fucking fandom but i am still here because when i see fans make dumbass theories & new fans come up w/ the same analyses we had as older fans, i am Happy. i think its genuinely such a beautiful thing 2 c how ppl analyse this series.

but like. why am i still Here. why do i have this blog.

i am being attacked for being a ""violent"" person by yt remus fans, while i watch my white mutuals and friends say the same things i do. i am watching my mutuals & friends be friends with the ppl who have said these things about me. i cant interact w/ half of this fandoms content. i am still seeing rampant racism and transphobia and queerphobia within this fandom. i have so many "popular" mutuals & friends who agree w/ my takes & opinions but dont express it because they feel like they cant.

obviously a lot of this is bcuz i have been super mentally ill & suicidal for the past (checks watch) 5 months. which is not a fandom thing, its an irl thing. i moved out of my parents house secretly 2 get away from the abuse i was experiencing. i have to share a room & (help) take care of a child every other week. i go to work as a cashier, a job i did not want but was moved 2, every week & i still dont have fucking money. i am so overwhelmed & stressed out of my goddamn mind.

and i cant even come on here 2 analyse abt sasi, something i love 2 do, w/o being told i am too violent. that i should just leave the fandom bcuz no1 wants me here. & whatever else fuck nonsense i have heard & seen abt myself. obviously people can disagree w/ me but like that is the point of me being here. this isnt a safe place, bcuz you guys do not make it a safe place & i dont think you guys ever Will make it a safe place. bcuz you are all yt queers.

sorry 4 the rlly long ramble i woke up at like 3 am. ill delete this later

[jordanianprincesses]

Thanks for answering me ,i'm the Jordanian🤭. I came back to tell you it was reported via her twitter account that she is arrogant,spoiled and very selfish. She cares for money and power and still loves to party ( opponents have done lots of researchs it will be shown soon) and that's why she accepted to be the wife of a man who will never like her. In her family she is the least smart, a title will give her the attention she wants.She's getting older , broke up with Abdulrahman in 2021 ,she has to marry . A deal was made and not with her father but with saudi arabia, it's even more deeper than what we think. Even if he comes from an open family Hussein isn't like her at all. Tbh if she was his choice i would say ok he took her it's all on him but it's not him he is really really ( for the people who follows him for years) not fine since their engagement. He is doing it forced but has to do it sadly. Now for the Queen part, being chosen now won't guarantee her that title and I pray God she will never be our Queen she doesn't represent us and will never be able to feel us or our way of living and she doesn't care. You say we have to be fair when judging her ,i get the point of course but it's clear you didn't see the backlash and don't know how in Jordan they're insulting ,really insulting her and Hussein for that choice. We're arabs and very conservative. Yes the RHC said and played too much on the she comes from a conservative family so we all thought great for once someone to represent our arab and conservative culture but noooo there are more things coming.Not fair for him when he didn't choose her but have to link his name to her . It will end badly ,too much of bad things.I wish for Hussein to find someone like Princess Muna or Queen Alia who were both 2 decent women and very loved by King Hussein. I wish him someone he loves and who will love him the same. He will re marry for sure.Rajwa and him will 100% end very quickly. Have you seen how he is? How much weight he lost,how depressed he looks? Even when he fakes to her in public he is doing it and suffering .I hope you understand my view if she wants to live her life she can lives it her own way but not representing my country. It's already hard having Rania as Queen you can't imagine people's fears now and we feel Hussein is the only one who cares really for his country and people, and seeing him like that just prove he isn't accepting all this ,just forcing himself but it looks bad ,very bad.

Hello well I totally understand your point. Specially that you are Jordanian and you have the right to criticize the ones that may represent you one day. About the arranged marriage maybe that's right I don't know and I don't want to jump into conclusions. Yet if it is true and as you said it's a DEAL then both of them are taking advantage of the other so that's it Hussein for the money and Saudi links and Rajwa for whatever reason. I've seen Hussein loosing weight so many times before .Even Meghan who loved Harry so much lost weight before her wedding and that's why her dress was ill fitted .hhhh About her being mean ,I don't wanna know about it because I am convinced that people can change and they eventually change.

I understand that I am being objective because I am not Jordanian and that it's different for you because you already disapprove of so many things within the family that leads you country and you are deprived the right to freely express your opinions .

As for me , Rajwa is today's years old and I don't care about her past.

Princess Muna was a good wife to K Hussein but he ended up divorcing her and fell for someone else haha it's not about being good or not. Q Rania apparently isn't loved by the Jordanian people but she and Abdullah didn't divorce ...

Regardless of whether she and Hussein are in love or not , I like her presence to be honest, she is charismatic and I want to make posts about her. Haha

It's only a fan page I like to make fun posts and all without judging any one.

[funpuddle]

Internet is getting overwhelming but at the same time its my current only source of income as well as still my biggest refuge. I don’t like what’s happened to me in the past 3 years, it’s like from every angle people just got (from my perspective) fucking evil to me, for being a traumatized vulnerable kid, and a kid who was even open to feedback and open to changing at that. Hardly anything constructive came of that. Just a fuck ton of stalking and mimickery and perverts and ill-intended whisperings of me and blowing me off whenever i stood up for myself. I don’t blame anyone for this but it’s hard to chat with internet friends anymore without thinking of ways they’d try to fuck with me or if they are fucking with me, which really hurts because it does not take much for me to see someone as a valued friend, im sentimental and cant help it. Ive watered myself down to maybe not come off like ripper roo from crash bandicoot all the time but it feels like ive overcorrected because i can’t just freely say what i think or feel anymore without thinking of a weird anon message or a vaugepost or a way it can be misconstrued. its like theres versions of all the people who fucked with me in my head looking at everything i do now. im sick of it, but i want to persevere and be more Me than ever. I don’t know how though. Maybe this is a start or maybe this is just a regular vent post. Its even hard to just talk on here now without thinking of someone on twitter finding me and half heartedly say people who fuck with me should die, but thats egotistical even if it’s a negative fear-driven thought. i do not want to be egotistical. i just want to be treated like a human and the constant shifting between invisibility and hypervisibility is making me feel less human. i want posting to be fun again! I enjoy seeing the numbers go up and i enjoy getting feedback and i enjoy seeing my friends in my notifications i just wish it didn’t all come with side effects. i will probably be in a headspace where i dont care about any of this at all within a week though so whatever