#i think it is so interesting how Victor and Yuuri just. feel it so deep when the other expresses their emotions via skate

[chatdae]

okay GENUINELY what does "We call everything on the ice 'love'" mean??

I am not certain what Yuuri means... maybe that all of the collaboration, competition, and sharing of ideas that takes place in skating is all a form of showing love? Enough to make me shake and cry and fall over, but i'd still love to hear if people have other interpretations

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #431

Miracle!!! on ICE, Animage 1/2017, Suwabe Jun'ichi interview

Part 4.

-- Yuuri is his partner, but Victor is a bit unperceptive, when it comes to Yuuri's more subtle feelings, right?

S: Yeah. However, to Victor, Yuuri is a precious existence, one that he didn't have in his life before, that gives him a lot of surprises. So, Yuuri is important to him, I'm sure. If I dare to put it in not a very nice way - sometimes, when you grew attached to a "tool", you pour into that "tool" a different kind of deep affection compared to the affection you have for just "a thing". I have a feeling that this is how Victor feels [about Yuuri]. Of course, other than that, there is a possibility that he also has different types of feelings, but... Well, I'll leave this up for imagination of each individual fan (laugh).

-- Victor is a lovable character, but for better or worse, I think that he's also self-interested.

S: I think that, too. He's an epicurean, that can suddenly act on a whim. He causes trouble to people around him, but people can't really hate him for that, for some reason. This kind of balance was something that I struggled with, when I was creating my role. He's the lonely genius, so a kind of character for whom it's difficult to know, how he really is on the inside. Very often my interpretation concerning how he probably feels in given circumstances was completely different that the answer I was given by the directors.

[Notes: It's fascinating how they talk about a story, which is in like 70%? about building a close relationship from this peculiar perspective that they even need to discuss if Victor has any affection for Yuuri at all💀 (the way Suwabe says it, is something like "I'm sure that Yuuri is important to him", but it also suggests that there is question there that maybe he isn't - bc, they talk about how Victor's selfish, manipulative ect. - so he's voicing he's opinion that "I'm sure he is"). Good thing that they at least came to the conclusion that he has 💀The kind you have for a thing you are particularly fond of... ]

[bxllafanficc]

¡Skate/sing your hearts out! (Yuri Plisetsky x reader)

(part seven)

Part one. Masterlist!

Summary: After last year's cancellation of Figure Skating Grand Prix, Yuri Plisetsky finds himself unable to bring out his inner skater after a year of doing nothing but enjoy life like a regular teenager. That's when you enter the picture; We Are Voice Grand Awards's currently hottest competitive vocalist come first place two years in a row. Just like the other competitors of Grand Prix, it turns out that Victor and Yuuri faces the same issue. With an arrangement between Victor and Yakov, they agree to travel to Japan and hire you as a mutual coach for Yuri and Yuuri to help bring back the emotion into their performances like before, maybe even more intense than ever. Yuri however, who's never experienced issues with his coaches before, for some reason finds this one particularly difficult to coexist along with in their (reasonably) odd partnership. Warnings: none

*Yuri's POV*

(Next week)

A week had passed by in a rather slow pace. Yuri's recovery seemed to never end when it had just been a few days. But those days were spent sleeping and eating, using his phone and sleeping some more. Mostly he had no one to talk to since everyone were busy with their own lives. Especially (Y/n) who had to keep her inner performer alive at all times. Her coach came with the idea of hosting a smaller gig where (Y/n) would perform about two or three numbers for the people of Japan. It was planned out as a small nightclub gig at first but the numbers of interested in Japan rose over the charts and well... (Y/n) said that she didn't want to let anyone down. Though her coach was apparently hesitant into taking more than a hundred people. 'Three numbers are too little for a concert.' They said but the people of Japan insisted on paying for the price a concert ticket anyway.

(Y/n) had told him this two days after his fever started. He remembered it made him scoff at how she decided the ticket would only cost a quarter of what a normal concert ticket would then. He had told her it was a ridiculous way of thinking.

He barely saw her after the first day of his fever. The way Yuri had taken a hold of her hand and fallen asleep... She waited until he woke up. Well, not exactly waited. She fell asleep at the edge of his bed.

And since that, the two of you barely talked during the days. They barely even met before she went to bed because she spent every waking hour to practice her numbers with her backup dancers. She still made you breakfast when she head the time though.

Yuri's glad it would soon be over and he could go back to normal. Everyone had been attending to him like he was some child and he felt like a huge burden. He had told Victor that he wished (Y/n) especially wouldn't just dismiss his attempts at doing things on his own just because he couldn't get out of bed with single effort. 'Right, she told me about that! You fell on your face right after while trying, didn't you?' He had replied.

So... yeah... Yuri wanted things to return to normal real fast. Yakov had promised him that he would get to start his session with (Y/n) as soon as the music for the program was set. And that was what Victor had been helping him with a couple times. It was hard to find something he wanted to use. Everything felt overused and boring. Just another performance. Yuri didn't want it to pass as that. He wanted to stand out and earn his gold medal for real just as last year. Now was also really the year of improvement so the music had to be well thought through. He was certainly going to take advantage of having a coach for emotional performances with him this season as well. Meaning, his free skate program was already set to be something hurtful and strong. Not love, he already did that. Something far more serious. He wanted the audience to cry after his performance. Everyone should be bawling. Yakov, piglet, Victor and even (Y/n).

Most important of all, no one would be expecting him to do a program with such deep meaning. Because he was one to avoid it in the past.

His short program should be something upbeat and flashy. He wanted the choreography so intense that he'd be coughing up blood at the end of the performance, if that was possible. So the music had to make the pulse of the audience rise when hearing it. Meaning, the music would be in the rock genre. And he already had just the song for it.

This performance would show off his skills and flexibility as well as the importance of his stamina since the entire program would be non-stop step sequences and jumps throughout almost the entire music. Since he intended to be in better shape than ever before before the competition started, he felt no point in holding back on anything. If he played it safe, then what was the point?

"Ah! Good morning Yuri! I come bearing gifts!" Victor busted the door open with his foot and stumbled inside the room, balancing a tray in his hand. The tray was set down in front of him and Victor sat down at the end of Yuri's bed.

"Where's (Y/n)?" Yuri was truly surprised to see Victor being the one to bring you the breakfast today. It had been her until now. And he hadn't even seen as much as her face today since she left so early.

"Ouch. I'm replaced already? I can't go on knowing I'm not your favorite anymore, you know." Victor put a dramatic hand to his forehead and fell backwards onto Yuri's legs. The tray with the breakfast threatened to tumble and Yuri made an effort to stabilize it. It was bacon and eggs with apple slices. A part of him felt a little sad that the slices weren't in the shape of stars...

"You were never my favorite, old man. And you didn't answer my question." Yuri picked up the fork and pointed it towards the man slopped unto the bed end. He ignored the sad pout he received and took a bite of the apple cut into pieces. Each slice were to large and it didn't even taste the same even though they were of the same apples like yesterday. The eggs were decent and the bacon slightly undercooked. Victor's efforts to cook for the household during the day were appreciated of course. But there was no wonder why (Y/n) stood for the head of the dinner at days when her schedule wasn't as crazy.

"She's practicing like mad. Called her dancers to say that she would be starting a few hours ahead of time because she got an energy boost. She wants the show to be at her best efforts possible."

"I haven't even seen her today. How can she practice like a maniac when she's probably already learned her numbers flawlessly?"

Victor was watching Yuri with a funny look. Probably wondering where all those questions came from.

"I think the show is a way for her to relax."

Say what? Going out of bed before sunrise and coming back from practice just mere hours before midnight could never be considered relaxation. Yuri would never be able to pull that off. That was an insane view of the word relaxing, definitely.

"The steam and demands from her competition in We are voice are currently lifted off her shoulders like heavy weights, you know. This is probably just fun to her. She doesn't have to compete with anyone. I think it gives her a sense of relief."

Yuri stopped eating and thought a little extra on what Victor said.

Yes. She was always stressed in every video where a fan or a nosy reporter came out of nowhere and started recording. Yuri had seen those videos. Especially the one where the random person happened to record the exact moment her mind broke down and she had a breakdown in front of a large crowd. Now there was no denying that Yuri sees (Y/n) as the most weirdest and ridiculous being alive. The way she is so determined to get her way and how much she cares for strangers she's never met. Yuri kind of still consider the two of them to be strangers, even after two weeks being with each other on a daily basis. Her eyes are also too intense for anyone to be up close with to her face and as if that wasn't enough, she's also a morning person and that's already a big warning sign to stay away from a person.

But even though he had had this mental conversation with him many times. Even though he agreed that he disliked her; he couldn't help but being captivated by her performances.

It felt so weird seeing her cry like that just minutes before her performance and then watching her going on stage having the time of her life. There was no doubt she loved her fans and performing on stage but that was one of those moments where Yuri really got to see the mind behind the happy smile. It was the first time he had seen her crying or feeling a negative emotion. It's still the first but he got a taste of her irritated self not so long ago.

It made Yuri think about her performance that day. It was a remarkable song filled with sheerness and excitement and her eyes were still wet with tears as she got up on stage.

"Remember (Y/n) performing 'Animal' during the acappella collaboration sequence?"

"Yes! One of my favorites. She was so happy on stage that day." While it had been true that she found happiness, it's not to ignore how broken she felt right before. 'Animal' by Neon Trees (A/N: listen to the Glee version of the song for the best acapella dynamic!) Was one of (Y/n)'s best performances, according to Yuri. He had watched it on repeat just this morning. There's really nothing special to the song in itself. It was the way she delivered every word and tune with such bravery after her internal battle like that. Her emotional response has always been on point but this particular song was something completely real and touching with her tears glistening in the corner of her eyes the entire performance. The tears of sadness had been replaced with joy and she had genuinely just been having a great time with the acapella group at her side, cheering and jumping around on stage with stars in her eyes.

'Oh, oh

I want some more

Oh, oh

What are you waiting for?

Say goodbye to my heart tonight'

The chorus were always his favorite part. Maybe it was the interpretation of the love-hate relationship the words of the lyrics intended. (Y/n) was belting out 'what are you waiting for' with such passion even though it was hardly a difficult song to perform.

'Here we are again

I feel the chemicals kickin' in

It's gettin' heavier and

I wanna run and hide

I wanna run and hide'

The short verse got him every time. The way her eyes watered at the end and then were immediately blown away by the chorus once again. The way she let go of her sadness and let her happy thoughts consume her. No, she let the song consume her and gave the song a completely different touch never done before.

Yuri had lost count of the time he'd watched it and he knew the choreography and song in and out by now. It was mainly intended for the purpose of studying her expression and getting some kind of inspiration for his music choice. He wanted his theme of his music choice for the free skate program to be 'to let go'. If there's any theme harder than love, then it's letting go of the thing you love. And not just what you love. Letting go to be able to love as well. Whether it's love for yourself or another person. There are countless interpretations and that's what (Y/n) had performed that day, with no intention whatever of doing it in such a way.

"I have... I have chosen the music for my program. At the inspiration of t-that performance."

Now don't get Yuri wrong. He'd never admit it to anyone that (Y/n) had been an inspiration to his free skate. He would probably had figured out the idea anyway, it would just had taken a little longer. And her performance was his own way to interpret it so he'd been the one to come up with the decision anyway. So in a way, she didn't have anything to do with it. And his choice of song would be far more intense and heartbreaking than anything Neon Trees could produce. And so Yuri told Victor about his music choices even though he had no clue why he put that kind of trust into the man.

"Those are some really clever choices when combined with your own vision. I'm almost a little jealous. Maybe I should just hire (Y/n) as my coach myself. It seems like it did wonders for you already!" The man laughed and patted Yuri on the shoulder.

"Nonsense. She hasn't began coaching me yet. She had no part in this." Yuri pushed away the empty tray to make room for sitting up and crossing his legs.

"Oh, but it seems like you learned a lot by ogling her all day long though." The smirk Yuri received made his teeth grit and his ears flush.

"I-i wasn't ogling her!"

"Then what were you doing exactly? I heard 'Animal' playing for a good 30 minutes from the wall connected to the room beside yours." Victor laughed at the startled freeze of The Russian Punk.

Okay fine. Maybe he went overboard with the video. But a new problem had seemed to appear now as he admitted defeat.

Yuri now had a witness that would have to be taken care of somehow. He leaned forwards and gripped the collar of Victor's shirt in a tight fist. The glare of daggers shot forwards onto the smiling man.

"Tell anyone about it and you're gonna have to reconstruct that pretty nose of yours. That's a promise,not a threat."

"Trust me! You won't hear a peep!"

[yoiregencyweek]

Mr. Victor Nikiforov

This is a promotion piece for YOI Regency week. Don’t miss your chance to vote for the prompts. Last day 1st of March.

Art by @saerend-pity​

Ficlet by @linisen​

Victor Nikiforov was a man of many talents, as the -shire was most familiar with. He was a good businessman, tending to his land and investments with a sharp eye and careful care. Perhaps too watchful, some claimed, but rather that, than careless. He was a good rider, and was often seen taking the horse rather than the carriage when he was able. He was a talented card player, who never lost his head and bet too much, whilst still keeping focus and pleasant conversation.

He played a good game of cricket when asked to join, and was often on the winning team from his efforts. He held good conversations with old as young, and many wished to have him at their dinner table to converse about literature as well as current events, even if he was not too much for gossip, he never jested those who were. It was clear he was an advent reader, and he was told to be good at reading sections out loud as well, with just the right amount of passion.

He was also known to be a charmer, but not a flirt. Many had seen their hearts stolen by his handsome looks and gentlemanly behaviour. The -shier’s youth on the marriage mart were all keen on receiving his attention, and whilst Mr. Nikiforov rarely ignored them, he did not seem to be interested in anyone in particular, leaving many broken hearts in his path.

Victor was well aware of all of this, and how the -shire saw his virtues and his stature. He was proud of many of his personality traits, and could rejoice in being known for them and keeping a good reputation.

However, Victor was very aware of a significant flaw he held.

He could not dance.

It was highly embarrassing, the Lord found, to not be able to move his feet as he wished them to. He repeatedly stumbled, or stepped on his partners toes, making a mess of the whole ordeal. There were just too many dances, and Victor had trouble remembering which steps went with which, and how to move in relation to his partner on the dancefloor.

It was truly a disgrace for a gentleman of such high birth to be cursed with two left feet.

“My good friend,” Mr. Katsuki said one morning at breakfast, when Victor was loudly complaining about how two left feet. The two had known each other since Oxford, and Mr. Katuski had come to spend a couple of days at Victor’s estate, much to his own joy. Victor may or may not harbour a well guarded deep affection for his friend, which he had hid it very well if he were to say so himself. “Would it be terribly forward of me to ask you- If it would be alright- What I am saying is-”

“Dear friend, please tell me of your plan, I will not offend me,” Victor promised, and Mr. Katsuki let out a sigh, meeting Victor’s gaze with flushed cheeks. His dark eyes sparkled with that determination that always made Victor’s stomach turn on end, and he had to fight the impulse to rush from his seat and fall on his knees, and beg Mr. Katsuki to marry him.

“Would you like me to give you dancing lessons?” Mr. Katsuki finally asked, and Victor’s eyes grew wide in surprise. Mr. Katuski did not seem to know if the lack of response was a rejection or acceptance, and therefore pushed on. “I know you struggle, but I do find myself a decent dancer, and I would love to- I would love to try my hand at helping you, if I may.”

“Decent,” Victor chuckled and shook his head. “You’re the best dancer in the region.”

“Not at all,” Mr. Katsuki protested, always far too unknowing of his own abilities. “I simply think you could get to a solid knowledge of the most common once, with practice.”

“It might take many lessons,” Victor said, feeling a plan form in his mind. He was selfish, which was another flaw, one the -shire seemed much more unaware of. Clearly, this was an opportunity to get something Victor longed very much for. With more extended time, perhaps he could use that well known charm to make his friend fall in love with him.

“I admit it might take some time, but I am up for the challenge,” Mr. Katsuki said with a determined nod. Victor imagined himself in Yuuri’s arms, day after day, during dance practice, and could not hold back the smile that curled on his lips.

“Very well,” Victor said with a nod of his own. “Better send for more of your things then my dear, for it seems this will be your permanent abode for quite some time.” _________________________________

This is a promotion piece for YOI Regency week. Don’t miss your chance to vote for the prompts. Last day 1st of March.

[beels-burger-babe]

Try me Bee!!! I can't wait for that angst 🤩

All angst is sad obviously and it hurts, but nothing has ripped my soul out yet 👀 i read so much of it just cuz i can im interested to see if this is the one!!!! Make me cry bestie im readyyyy

I think I've only cried with angst 3 times before?? But now i feel like you're challenging me so lets see how this goes 👀

I have fully sobbed over two fics:

One was, and I shit you not, a Hobbit fan fic 😂😂 I was 14 (??) and it was 3 am. It was called "The Crystal Coffin" and it got me REAL BAD

The second, was a Yuri on Ice fic where *deep breath* where Katsuki Yuuri got dementia a-and Victor had to watch as he slowly forgot everything and e-everyone including him, a-and I'M GONNA BAWL IF I GO EVEN FURTHER INTO DETAIL BUT THAT FIC RUINED ME!!! GAH! I CAN'T FIND THE FIC OR REMEMBER IT'S TITLE BUT HOLY SHIT IT WAS AMAZING

[eeemarvel]

🌲and 🌹for yuuri, victor, phichit, and chris >:)

Holy deep fried canolies, I wonder if I can navigate this without giving spoilers???

🌲- What is this oc's greatest strength and weakness?

🌹- What's this oc's biggest fear

Yuuri’s greatest strength is his ability to get back up and keep fighting, literally and metaphorically. No matter how beaten up, tired, or defeated he may feel, he knows that he has something worthwhile to fight for. He knows he has a reason to push back and that reason outweighs any feelings of defeat that may come his way. That might also be his greatest weakness because unshakeable willpower doesn’t necessarily equate to the condition of his body/health. His mind may go further than his body physically can. That willpower also has him convinced that he can and should bear the weight of the world on his shoulders with no help at all... for fear that if he were to share the load, he would either be betrayed or the person helping him may get hurt. I guess his biggest fear is that his family or his loved ones will get hurt or killed because he couldn’t protect them, specifically because he couldn’t protect them, because he feels personally responsible for way more than he should. 

Victor’s greatest strength is hard because I’m torn between his creativity and his capacity to love in spite of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. His creativity allows him to accomplish amazing things like *REDACTED* and *REDACTED BECAUSE SPOILER*. Being creative is a way to be bold, shrewd, and persistent in the pursuit of something greater. He doesn’t give up when something looks impossible or challenging. He just looks at the situation in a different way and is so willing to open his mind to new possibilities if it means that he can make something amazing happen. His creativity is also part of why he has such spectacular control over his abilities, even when new ones come along so unexpectedly. Younger/less experienced heroes usually take note of this. 

Victor was also the first person that Yuri P. went to when he was in trouble because he knows that Victor will forgive him and take care of him without making him feel bad about himself, even after all of the mistakes he’s made. He could’ve gone to Yakov, Lilia, or Celestino, but Victor is the one that would accept him without yelling, criticizing, shaming, or lecturing. Victor is the one he feels safest with because Victor loves openly. Victor shows that same forgiveness and love to the world and the city he protects. He shows it to villains he knows are hurting (Tim Fair), he shows it to his adoptive parents who are deeply flawed but are doing their best, he shows it to Chris whose choices he just doesn’t understand, and he shows it to Yuuri who he’s been deeply suspicious of for a good part of this fic. (But part of that may just be because he’s thirsty). I think this is a remarkable thing about Victor considering the pain he’s endured. 

His biggest flaw is probably similar to Yuuri’s because he feels he has to be the perfect smiling face; he doesn’t know what will happen if he shows a bit of vulnerability. He doesn’t know who will get hurt because of him or if that person will be him. This fear is reinforced by how heavily History Maker relies on him as the only 5 star hero. He has to keep up this charade of being perfect, strong, and infallible because who else is going to take over for him if he weren’t perfect? If he needed to rest? Who would get hurt or worse if he decided he couldn’t do this anymore? He’s been facing that fear more often recently, what with all of his injuries and hospital (hospital adjacent, lol, an alley is basically a hospital) visits.

Phichit’s greatest strength is his bravery. He’s brilliant, fast, charming, and creative but all of these things would be pretty much wasted on someone who wasn’t as brave as he is. He’s willing to push himself to speed into the unknown (AAaaaAAAAaaaaAaAaAaA *elsa riff*) of the future, leaving everyone he loves behind him because he’s convinced it’s the right thing to do. He interacts with and manipulates sketchy characters in the underworld because it’ll help his best friend, give him a more complex understanding of the world he lives in, and give him a chance to be philanthropic (remember, a sizeable portion of his profits go to charity). This is tricky because while it’s true that most people would be pretty miffed by his speed, it’s not impossible to hurt him as we’ve seen. There are plenty of forces that speed can’t overcome and Phichit is well aware of this. What’s more, there are plenty of people who aren’t as kind as Chris is. Let’s think about what would’ve happened in Lanzarote if Chris had the same kind of attitude as someone like Pyre. In a fight, Phichit may have had Chris on the run for a while, but I’m sure he wouldn’t escape that confrontation completely unscathed. He knows that most people are just objectively stronger than him but he still won’t hesitate to meet them eye to eye with a smirk and a catty remark waiting on the tip of his tongue. 

His greatest weakness I’d say is his desire for control over every little thing. He knows that he’s not perfect and he’s fine with that TO AN EXTENT (at least more than Victor is fine with his own imperfections). So, he’s willing to accept help (when he can) but when it comes to making plans and thinking of solutions, he overthinks to the point of personal ruin about what he should do because he’s afraid that his failure will confirm his feelings of worthlessness. Of course our boy isn’t worthless but his desire to be “useful” (for lack of a better word) comes from a deep place of shame and insecurity about his own personal value and what he has to contribute to the world. 

Chris’ greatest strength is his devilish good looks and that perfect, good good booty. Because it’s hard to explain his strength without giving spoilers lol. I guess I can say that his greatest strength is his sense of empathy. 

His greatest  weakness is his tendency to isolate himself and retreat into his own head about things that are weighing him down, committing himself to a pattern that is comfortable and familiar. He’s usually the person to lend a hand when he sees someone with a lot on their shoulders even if he has his own load to bear that he refuses to address or talk about. And, *BIG OL’ REDACTED* which is why *NICE TRY, THAT’S REDACTED TOO*. 

This was such an interesting ask, so thank you anon!!! <3

[bloodsbane]

Please, tell us about your opinions on yuri on ice. But! I am also very interested in more on your bird, if you're willing to share

okay sounds good!! but also lemme explain: when i say ‘my bird’, i’m actually referring to the person I’m dating, @isyrion! they’re non-binary so i just call them my bird instead of something else (their fursona is a bird) 

so when i said i was watching with my bird, i meant them! they hadn’t seen YOI before, but I watched it as it was airing

and so back on that note, here were my thoughts. 

it was still pretty good! and isy seemed to like it a lot, with this being their first watch. 

but yknow, part of me feels like you kinda had to… be there, yknow? being able to watch all of it whenever you want has a really different vibe than having to wait every week for new eps… and i feel like the fandom was just so genuinely invested, excited, and vibrant, being involved with it as the show was airing really added to the experience. 

some things that happened in the show seemed to go by so fast, and i think it’s because there wasn’t a week of eagerly awaiting the next one, of everyone mulling over dialogue and character dynamic shifts n stuff like that

the ending also feels, somehow, too abrupt? in a way i didn’t really notice before. i think back then, we were all just so excited and emotional over it, and like the ending is still really fucking gay so we were more or less satisfied (i mean the pair skate performance is still amazing… and the ending is really sweet)

i feel like there’s a lot of nuance to victor and yuuri’s relationship that’s hard to really appreciate unless you watch the show more than once OR you were knee-deep in a fandom who was dedicated to dissecting every meaningful conversation the two of them had, hah

but like! still good! still a lot of fun. lots of good humor, and all the characters are really likeable. i had a good time watching it after, what, 2 or so years away? i’d forgotten just enough to where some things were a surprise, and i could never be sure how a routine was going to hash out - i think being genuinely on-edge for performances is a big part of enjoying the show. 

AND NOW A QUICK LIST OF THINGS THAT SLAP IN YOI:

the music!! the ost!!! it’s still GORGEOUS, and i love all the songs, and im so sad they made it harder to find and appreciate BUT there is an orchestral album available on spotify so go check that shit out, it’s great. stammi vicino is so fucking beautiful and it will always kill me (also yuri on ice, as in the track, that one’s beautiful too)

THE ANIMATION ON YURI’S PERFORMANCES. it didn’t really register to me the first few times i watched the anime, but compared to how much they had to cut corners animating everyone else’s animation, yuri’s always has notably more love and time put into it (especially in his agape performance, it’s lovely). this makes a lot more sense retrospectively i think, though, considering how things wrap up! 

again, a lot of the humor still goes hard and hits well. it’s just… such an absurd anime. they’re all ridiculous. but nothing is ever too mean-spirited or TOO unbelievable, so it’s easy to digest. 

im cheating and saying this twice but THE FUCKING MUSIC IS AMAZING. think what you will about YOI but the ost is fantastic. 

watching it again, i’m sad that season 2 never happened… i have no idea if it’s in production or something, or if it’s officially just not gonna happen. i think i’d be down for more YOI if they ever did get it off the ground again, though. but, if not, the ending isn’t awful in any way. it just has a lot of potential for more! but it’s a hopeful ending, one that implies a long future spent together, for the main characters

[spelviin]

Vitya Week Day 3: Loved

Happy Birthday to the best boy!

Victor is 16 years old when he first becomes aware of Victor Nikiforov, in his bedroom at Yakov and Lilia’s house, reading an article in a sports magazine entitled “5 Up-And-Comers to Watch Out For This Season”. Next to the number 3 in the article, his own face stares back at him from the page. Victor Nikiforov, Men’s Singles Figure Skating, Age16, Russia. It’s your standard magazine fare, a little two-paragraph blurb about his background, his past accomplishments, his hobbies, his interests.

Victor Nikiforov loves dogs, it says. His favourite thing to do outside the rink is to curl up with a good book, it says. His favourite flowers are blue roses, it says, and Victor grins bemusedly at the page. He isn’t sure where the author of this particular column had gotten that idea. His favourite flowers have always been lilacs. His grandmother had had a few lilac trees in her garden back home when he was young, and the scent has always made him think of her.

It doesn’t bother him, at the time. It’s an insignificant tidbit of misinformation, nothing to worry about. And two out of three correct factoids isn’t bad, he supposes. And then, at his next competition, when he finishes his skate, the crowd showers the ice in blue roses.

Victor doesn’t dislike the roses, and it would be both rude and pointless to try and correct people about his preferred type of flower. So he accepts the bouquets with a gracious smile and a wave to the crowd.

That’s how it starts, in his mind, that disparity between the real Victor and Victor Nikiforov.

Victor Nikiforov loves roses, where Victor loves lilacs.

Simple enough.

And then it starts to grow.

As Victor’s accomplishments pile up, so does attention from sponsors, from fans, from sports media outlets. And with each interview, each publication, each sponsorship deal, Victor Nikiforov grows, a perception, an idea of him and the kind of person he is that exists completely in the public’s collective imaginations, completely out of his control.

Victor Nikiforov is effortlessly graceful on the ice, while Victor has to put in hours of gruelling, sweaty work at the rink each and every day.

Victor Nikiforov lands his quads smoothly, surprising and delighting his audience, while Victor is sent sprawling to the cold, hard unforgiving surface of the rink over and over and over again.

Victor Nikiforov’s skin is flawless, and his hair flows elegantly over his shoulders, pristine and shimmering. Victor breaks out on the regular and it takes ages for him to brush out his tangles each morning.

Victor Nikiforov is delightfully bright and charming, always ready with a winning smile and cheeky wink that send young men and women alike swooning.  Victor has days where he feels so empty and hollow and drained inside that he can barely bring himself to get out of bed to take Makkachin for a walk.

Victor Nikiforov is a playboy, hopping from relationship to relationship, leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake. And Victor? Well, Victor isn’t quite so lucky in love.

It’s not that he doesn't want love; quite the opposite. He craves it so much it hurts, this ever-present ache in his chest in the shape of someone, anyone, who could ease the terrible loneliness that eats away at him. He seeks out love in all its forms, falls briefly in love with nearly anyone who shows him positive attention.

But none of them want him. They all want Victor Nikiforov. They want beauty and glamour and talent and charm, and he can do that. He does that, for them, for a time. He learns to perform Victor Nikiforov flawlessly, to live in that mask for days, weeks, months on end. Long enough, he hopes, to make them stay.

But they never do. No matter how well he performs Victor Nikiforov, he can’t keep up the charade forever. Eventually, inevitably, Victor shows through. Workaholic Victor, forgetful Victor, Victor with bedhead and no makeup on, Victor who occasionally gets annoyed and snappy and sarcastic. Victor who sweats and bleeds and works and works and works and works. Victor who can’t “just cheer up.” Victor who is too clingy, too needy, too much.

They hadn’t signed on for that, none of them had.

So they leave, all of them, over and over again, and honestly? Victor can’t blame them. He prefers Victor Nikiforov, too. He knows if he ever wants a hope of finding love, of deserving love, he has to do better.

So he leans into Victor Nikiforov, tries to become him. He puts in more hours at the rink, working from the crack of dawn until he can barely move from exhaustion, pushing himself to his absolute limits and beyond. He practices that winning smile in the mirror, practices and practices and practices until you can barely even tell that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He destroys himself over and over and over again, breaks himself down and rebuilds as many times as it takes to live up to people’s expectations.

Victor Nikiforov is an image, you see, a concept rather than a human being, so it’s easy enough to change and mold him as the need arises. One season he is Victor Nikiforov the Rebel, the next he is Victor Nikiforov the Sensitive Artist, the next, Victor Nikiforov the Playboy. He becomes a new person each year, becomes whatever is necessary to continue to surprise his audience, to exceed their expectations, to be worthy of their admiration and love the way he knows Victor could never be. And it is exhausting work.

He lives in the ever-changing mask of Victor Nikiforov for so long that he might have forgotten it was even there, if not for that cold, lonely, desperately sad part of him curled up deep inside, begging for a love that was real and whole and unconditional, a love that he knows Victor could never be worthy of. But even that becomes easy enough to ignore after a time. His career is flourishing, the sponsor offers are pouring in, the world is at his feet. There are more than enough distractions to keep that ugly, broken part of himself quiet.

But try as he might, he can never silence it completely. It’s always there, and more pronounced than ever in the quiet moments when he returns home from the rink to his empty apartment, when he stands on the beach looking out onto the ocean, when he wakes up every morning in a cold and empty bed.

Victor Nikiforov has everything in the world, and yet Victor has never felt emptier.

Those closest to him might notice, he thinks. Yakov notices, but he never says much. As long as Victor continues to medal and pay his coaching fees, it isn’t really his place to pry into his personal life. Makkachin notices too, when Victor comes home exhausted, slumps down against the door and buries his face in her fur. But of course, she never says anything either.

His career slowly loses its allure. The constant pressure to continue to exceed expectations starts to weigh on him. He is 25, and he knows his body can only do so much for so long. Even Victor Nikiforov has limits, after all, and for the first time, he is struck with the prospect of eventually having to face them. He can no longer shock and amaze the audience like he once could. They still love him - still love Victor Nikiforov, that is - but it’s only a matter of time until he can no longer handle the physical toll of this sport. He has reached the apex of his career, reached as high as he can… it’s only downhill from here.

So, these are his options. He can stay in competition until his body gives out entirely, getting knocked lower and lower on the podium until he never even makes it on at all, and shrink into obscurity as the sad story of a once-talented skater who had fallen from grace.

Or he can walk away from the career that is slowly killing him, retire while he is still on top… and then what? He has given everything for his career, everything, always. He has nothing else. Nothing but an empty apartment and a beloved dog who is pushing 14. That’s it. His whole life.

And either of those options would kill Victor Nikiforov.

If he stays in competition until he burns out, his carefully constructed persona wil crack, and the world will see him as he really was. Clumsy, imperfect, unworthy.

If he walks away from the world of figure skating, Victor Nikiforov will fade into obscurity just the same. And with his limited interests outside the sport, few friends and no family, he’d just end up stuck in his apartment with a stranger be barely even knows.

It’s an impossible choice. So, like every other difficult and painful thought, he pushes it deep down inside himself, plasters a dazzling smile on his face, and pretends nothing is wrong. Lets the concern fester inside him along with everything else, and, for the time being, keeps going with his career like he always has.

And then Sochi.

Another medal like a noose around his neck. Another empty smile. Another boring banquet, sipping champagne and waiting for it to be over so he can go back to his room, take off his mask, and shut out the world again.

And then Yuuri Katsuki.

Confident, alluring, inebriated Yuuri Katsuki, dancing like a fool in a room full of the creme de la creme of the figure skating world.

Victor Nikiforov would never do something so tasteless. Victor Nikiforov is polished and perfect, sociable but reserved enough to keep himself out of too much trouble. Victor Nikiforov really shouldn’t even be watching this, should just smile fetchingly and then politely direct his attention somewhere else.

But Victor can’t take his eyes off the man.

Yuuri Katsuki is breathtaking. He moves like pure sin, drawing Victor almost unconsciously into his orbit. His dark eyes bore into him, hazy from the drink but sparkling with want. He asks him to dance, and before Victor has time to think it though, he’s in Yuuri Katsuki’s arms, the world is spinning around them, and he feels lighter than he has in years.

Victor Nikiforov shouldn't be doing this, he knows. Victor Nikiforov has an image to uphold.

But Victor is weak. He wants to stay in Yuuri Katsuki’s arms forever.

“Be my coach, Victor!”

…And maybe, just maybe, he can.

But Yuuri Katsuki never calls him back.

He passes the time working on new programs. Eros, because his dreams are filled with dark eyes and champagne and strong arms around him. Agape, because he wonders what it would be like to experience a love that was truly unconditional.

What it would be like if that dark-eyed man could love him, unconditionally. It’s a pipe dream, he knows, but it’s also the only thing that keeps him going.

And then, a link to a YouTube video. And then, a plane. And then, a hot spring in Japan.

Victor Nikiforov would never do something this impulsive and irrational. Victor doesn’t care.

While putting his things in his room, he catches a glimpse of Yuuri’s own bedroom down the hall. Specifically, of the posters lining his walls. Victor Nikiforov, in all his carefully posed and airbrushed glory, stares down at him from every angle.

The posters go back through nearly his entire career. Victor Nikiforov with long hair, with short hair, the rebel, the artist, the heartthrob. They all look down at him, this confusing hodgepodge of masks he’s worn throughout the years. Looking back at these perfect, idealized versions of himself, an uncomfortable feeling forms in the pit of his stomach.

Which version do you want, Yuuri?

He makes sure to greet Yuuri Katsuki in a manner befitting of Victor Nikiforov, rising from the water and posing himself like a statue in the middle of the hot spring. Beautiful, confident, beckoning. Victor is terrified. By the looks of it, Yuuri Katsuki is, too. This is surprising.

The first of many surprises, all of which boil down to one simple fact:

Yuuri is not like Yuuri Katsuki.

He is timid, polite, and turns beet red every time Victor goes near him. He stammers and flinches away when Victor tries to touch him. He starts to actively try to avoid him.

Af first, Victor worries that maybe he was wrong, after all. Maybe Yuuri doesn’t like him. But then his mind flits back to that poster-adorned wall, all those versions of himself - of Victor Nikiforov - staring down at him.

Which one do you want?

He doesn’t know who he’s supposed to be. He doesn’t know what mask to wear that will convince Yuuri that he’s worth his love, his attention, his time, that he’s worth anything at all. So finally, in desperation, he asks. Sitting on a sandbank, sandwiching Makkachin between them, his question hanging in the air with the smell of saltwater and the sound of seagulls’ cries.

And Yuuri thinks.

And Yuuri answers.

And of all the things he could have said, he chooses the one reply that sends a bolt of terror straight through Victor’s heart.

He doesn’t want him to be anything. He just wants him to be Victor.

Just Victor.

Victor doesn’t even know who Just Victor is. He doesn’t even like Just Victor. And why should he? No one else ever has.

But if it’s what Yuuri wants, he’ll do it. He’ll do anything for the chance to stay by Yuuri’s side, even if it means being Just Victor.

So he tries to let his walls down. It’s a long and painful process, and he still slips into old habits. He hides behind his smile when he’s angry or sad, tucks himself away behind the mask of Victor Nikiforov in the public eye, but… he tries.

And somehow, somehow… Yuuri manages to love Victor.

He manages to love the Victor he sees first thing every day, with bedhead and morning breath. He loves the Victor he sees in the hot spring, makeup washed off and hair sticking to his too-large forehead (when Victor mentions he’s insecure about it, Yuuri tells him it’s the perfect size for covering in kisses, and proceeds to do just that). He loves the Victor who is clumsy with his words, who doesn’t quite know how to handle Yuuri’s anxiety yet, who makes mistakes. The Victor who is flawed. The Victor who is human.

And Victor loves the Yuuri who shies away from him. Who can be cold and aloof, who assumes the worst of people. Who gets so lost in his own thoughts that he forgets to communicate. Who has his selfish moments and jumps to conclusions too easily.

And Victor loves him. He loves him. Loves him more than he ever thought it was possible to love another human being. Loves him so much he feels his heart might break out of his chest every time Yuuri smiles that gentle, cautious smile in his direction.

He feels light, free in a way that he hasn’t felt in years. There is still a disconnect between himself and the public’s perception of him but he doesn’t mind so much anymore. They can have their Victor Nikiforov if they want. Yuuri thinks that Just Victor is enough, and that is more than enough for Victor.

__________

Still, he has his moments of weakness. Moments where he doubts himself and his worth. Moments where he feels small, weak, inadequate.

He asks Yuuri how he feels about Victor Nikiforov one night, curled up in bed together as Yuuri runs his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t exactly mean to, it just comes tumbling out. When he finishes speaking, Yuuri looks desperately sad.

“Don’t you, you know... prefer him?” Victor asks, his voice just a shade above a whisper, so afraid of the answer that he can barely manage to ask the question.

“I used to,” Yuuri admits after a while, and Victor’s heart sinks. Yuuri must see it in his eyes, because he cups Victor’s face gently and turns it to look at him. “And then I met you, and you were so much better.”

Yuuri’s eyes are so unbearably soft and earnest that Victor has to look away, his eyes stinging and vision blurring, but he’s stopped again by Yuuri’s gentle hand on his cheek.

“Listen, Victor. Whoever it was in your past that made you feel like you weren’t enough, they were wrong. So, so wrong.  And honestly, I feel sorry for them, because they’ll never get to see you the way I see you. They way you always know what to say to cheer someone up on a bad day. The silly little songs you make up when you brush Makkachin.” He smiles cheekily. “The way you snort when you laugh too hard.”

Victor gasps, offended. “I do not!”

“You do!” Yuuri grins. “You absolutely do, and I love it. I love you, Victor Nikiforov.”

And there it is again, that gentle smile that knocks him off his feet every time. He blinks back his tears and cuddles into Yuuri’s chest. “Call me Vitya?”

Yuuri hums, tender and full of love, and leans in to press a soft kiss to Victor’s forehead. “I love you, my Vitya.”

“I love you too, Yuuri.”

_______

“Victor Nikiforov is dead,” Yurio spits at him on a beach in Barcelona, several weeks later.

It’s true, Victor thinks as his ring sparkles in the early-morning sunlight,  but not in the way that Yurio intends it.

Victor Nikiforov is dead, and good riddance to him.

He likes the sound of Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov better, anyways.

[linisen]

Fandom things

Thank you @dayseternal-blog for the tag <3

Rules: Choose any three fandoms and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

Top 3 Fandoms

1. Yuri! on Ice

2. Naruto

3. Voltron

The first character you loved:

oh, wow, ever? eeeh, maybe Peyton from OTH but within the fandom list:

1. Yuuri Katsuki - This boy, omg this boy. There is so much in me that resonates with me in Yuuri. His dynamic personality to be both bold and shy, daring and careful. His love for others and his drive to be better. 

2. Naruto - This is a bit deep but I had an abusive boyfriend who used to watch Naruto, which made me, after I got out of that relationship, not want to watch it at all. Then I sort of got exposed to the show and bit by bit as I got to know this bright amazing boy I just fell head over heals with everything about him. 

3. Pidge - oh god how I adore her, her sarcasm, her drive and her brains. She’s amazing and I always enjoy seeing scenes with her. 

The character you never expected to love so much:

1. Guang Hong Ji - when I watched YOI the first time I didn’t pay that much attention to Ji, being swept up in the epic love story of Victuuri, but as I rewatched and grew into the fandom I fell so hard for him. Being a sweet blushing mess ready to kill anyone who dares to hurt Leo, ahha. 

2. Shikamaru - At first I found Shikamaru lazy, and sort of full of himself which to be honest... I still think hahaha. but he’s grown so much on me and now I love his sarcasm and realism. I think the way he’s always cared, even though he’s reluctant to show it, really made me change my mind

3. Lance - Lance reminded me of so many guys I've been to school with. Cocky, flirty and too full of himself. hahah. But he’s a very gentle soul, and as the team grew closer he grew more mature, and I enjoyed seeing that development.

Characters I relate to the most:

1. Yuuri Katsuki/Victor Nikiforov - I think one of the reasons I love this paring so much is because I can relate to both of them. I relate to Yuuri’s anxiety and the way he has a hard time seeing himself like other. And I relate to Victor by wanting to give too much, even when I know it’s too much. and of course I would too fly across the world if I though my soulmate had posted a video as a sign for me to come get them hahahah. 

2. Hinata Hyuga - I think of all the fictional characters I relate to Hinata the most. Her need to always see the best in everyone even if people don’t always treat her kindly. Her strength in always trying her best even though she knows she will never be the best. Her skill in healing. I absolutely love her. 

3. Keith -  I think I can relate to Keith and his need to find himself in a world where he feels he doesn’t fit in but doesn’t know why. 

Character you’d slap:

1. I don't think I want to slap anyone? Maybe Takeshi sometimes when he fat shames Yuuri. 

2. Sasuke - I’m sorry. I totally get that he’s angry but sometimes I get so frustrated with him I just want him to stop being so selfish.

3. OMG ALL THE GALRA UNDER ZARKON - stop with the world domination already. 

A character you liked at first but don’t like anymore:

1. No one I think, they all seem to grow on me the more I get to know them. 

2. I think it’s the same with Naruto.. I have a few I don’t like, but I don’t think I’ve changed my mind about anyone? Maybe Kabuto

3. I can’t really think of anyone here either.. hahaha. I like these shows for a reason okay? 

Three OTPS:

1. Victuuri, LeoJi, Phichitmetti

2. NaruHina

3. Sheith <3

Lol I've always said my three OTP’s contains of a socially awkward brunette with interesting eyes that falls in love with an overachiever blond they look up to and well...

Tagging 10: eeeh, I’m so bad at this I feel like I have no tumbler friends? ahaha. Anyone who feels they want to do it, place do!! I would love to see your answers. <3

[axlaida]

Omg! Victuuri 12 please! I would love to see their shenanigans with that one

Your wish is my command! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

I will admit, I got a little carried away… but I’m also really proud of how this turned out! I might upload it on my AO3 too! I hope you like it. Thank you for the request!!

Request a Prompt!~

12: Writer and Editor AU

In which Yuuri’s stuck writing a kiss and Victor, his editor, is a little too willing to help.

I’m stuck on a scene.

Victor smiled at his phone as he huffed out a laugh, and typed-

Again?

Don’t be funny. 2 long 2 explain. Come over.

Victor didn’t often make house calls – in fact, he never made a house call for his clients, but Yuuri Katsuki was an exception.

~

“You’re stuck on the kiss scene?”

Yuuri nodded; a light blush painted his cheeks. “I’m stuck on the kiss scene.”

Victor wasn’t entirely certain how to respond. He’d known Yuuri to often find himself in a slump. He’d struggle to find inspiration that his ideas were either mediocre or less attractive than Victor would’ve liked. Yuuri had the creativity to get through his slump, Victor knew he had, but given countless hours of waiting, Victor was growing increasingly impatient.

He sat on the couch beside Yuuri, placed his laptop on his lap and quickly read through what Yuuri had written. He tried hard not to pull faces, but he could understand Yuuri’s fight with this chapter. The wording was all wrong. The sentence structure felt forced and the flow wasn’t there. Even Yuuri’s choice of wording was poor.

If he’d grade this, it would be a D- at best. And that was Victor being generous.

“Do you want my honest opinion, or would you prefer some constructive criticism that might not end with you hating me?”

“Delete that entire chapter,” Yuuri answered instead, waving his hand as he turned his back. “Just get rid of it. I’d rather not fight a losing battle, so I just won’t write the scene in.”

“Are you sure?” Yuuri nodded, and Victor sighed as he deleted the entire chapter. “Alright, now what?”

“Like I said, I just won’t write it.”

“But it flows with the story,” Victor said. “If I were to compliment anything about that chapter, it’s that your plan for it was natural. It was fun and exciting, and the readers would love it. Who doesn’t love a good kiss scene?”

“Me!” Yuuri pounced in his seat, turning to face Victor with an expression not-so calm like Victor had hoped. “I don’t love a good kiss scene when nothing about the scene makes sense in my head. They kiss, but that’s all I can write. That’s all I can come up with. There’s absolutely no emotion or-or love. It wasn’t convincing enough to prove that they do actually love each other.”

Victor placed a finger to his lips, thinking.

“Okay, humor me for a moment,” He said while readjusting the laptop so the screen was facing him. “I know you said you hate the scene, but talk me through it. Tell me how the scene plays out in your mind and I’ll write down what you tell me.”

“But that’s the problem I’m having.”

“As I said, humor me a moment.”

~

It wasn’t Victor’s best idea – not by far – but it gave him an insight. He had a sneaky look into the mind that was Yuuri Katsuki.

And sure, Victor could see where Yuuri was going wrong. While there was no emotion between the two characters, Yuuri didn’t have any feelings towards them either. To him, they were just characters – just two people he created for the sake of plot, and Victor wasn’t overly fond of that. He’d rather Yuuri be invested in the characters he created, not lazy or unmotivated.

But Victor wanted an understanding, so he didn’t say anything when Yuuri shrugged off why Adam didn’t caress Kelly’s hair, or why their kiss was so quick – so sudden. He continued typing, trying his hardest to ignore how warm Yuuri’s arm was pressed against his own, or how close Yuuri would be when he’d lean forward to reread what Victor just typed.

If Victor writing this, he’d already have them making love, but Victor was a romantic. He wondered if Yuuri had a romantic bone in him too.

“Do you have a lover, Yuuri?”

“I.” Yuuri paused, then cleared his throat. The blush was returning. “No, I – I don’t.”

He’s rather bashful, Victor noted.

“But you have kissed somebody before, yes?” He then asked, and as Yuuri nodded, he took no notice of his heart twisting. “Then think back to that experience. How did her lips feel, why did you kiss her, and what raw emotion came through while you had that kiss?”

Yuuri’s lips curled into a smile – perhaps a little too giggly for Victor’s relief – as he scrubbed a hand over his face. “It was when I was in college and I got very drunk…” Yuuri turned his eyes away, hiding his embarrassed smile behind the palm of his hand. “I knew he liked me and I liked him too, then one night we got drunk and we kissed, but… it was terrible. I was terrible at it, but so was he.”

“I didn’t expect you to be that much of a drinker,” Victor commented, smiling wider as Yuuri sunk into the couch with his hands over his face.

And suddenly, Victor felt it – the little shift in his brain, like something had just fallen into place.

“Maybe that’s where you’re going wrong here,” Victor began. “You’re not writing the right characters in this scene.”

Yuuri dropped his hands as he sat up, face close to the computer screen as Victor referred him to the previous chapter he wrote. It made sense for Adam and Kelly to get together, but Victor couldn’t deny that their compatibility was… the least bit interesting. It was stale and forced, and Victor realized what Yuuri had done wrong, something the author hadn’t noticed himself.

“It’s too forced,” Yuuri muttered as he took the computer from Victor’s lap, placing the slowly overheating laptop on his own.

“Exactly,” Victor smiled. “Why have Adam kiss Kelly when Adam could kiss his childhood friend, Jeremy? They have a clear deep connection. Adam cares so much about Jeremy, more than he does Kelly. Wouldn’t you rather kiss Jeremy than Kelly?”

Yuuri said nothing, but he began to type, and that was enough for Victor to believe he’d finally sparked an idea in Yuuri’s mind. It motivated him to completely change the chapter, to twist the situation and have Jeremy find Adam instead of Kelly. He had Jeremy confess his love and attraction rather than Kelly, and as Yuuri was ready to write them finally having their first kiss, Victor waited with anticipation as Yuuri gave a brief pause and –

“… Crap.”

Victor sighed in defeat. “You nearly had it.”

“I know.”

“Think back to that kiss you told me,” Victor suggested. “Try to remember what it was like for you and the emotion you felt. Convey that feeling into writing. Make me feel like I’m kissing you.” Victor hadn’t meant his choice of words – or perhaps he had – but the way Yuuri chewed his bottom lip was worth every word.

But it wasn’t working for the author. He got over his embarrassment but as he hummed thoughtfully, he pulled a face. It wasn’t helping him progress onward, but Victor had another idea. Yuuri’s first kiss wasn’t the best experience, and both himself and the guy were terrible, which meant two things: Yuuri needed a real kiss, and he was open for kissing men, too.

Victor couldn’t help himself. “Maybe you just need to be reminded of what it feels like to be kissed.”

As Yuuri looked at him, his cheeks flushed a soft pink. “Are you suggesting I kiss you?”

Victor couldn’t deny his attraction. And sure, maybe he was using this as the perfect opportunity to kiss the man he’d been pining over since they first met, but why wouldn’t Victor take this as his chance? Despite the fear that Yuuri would say no, or agree to it and never have it develop into something more, Victor was willing to take that risk.

“That’s only if you want to.”

Yuuri was chewing his lip again, looking rather unsure of himself. Victor wondered perhaps he came on too strong, but he couldn’t deny there was a hint of excitement in Yuuri’s eyes – a flash of eagerness at Victor’s offer.

“If I give you one deep, meaningless kiss, it’ll change nothing between us,” Victor said, deciding to relieve some of Yuuri’s uncertainty with another offer. “But if you kiss me back, I will take that as something more. And I’ll be honest with you, I’ll be overjoyed if you do.”

Yuuri stayed silent, but the fast bat of his eyelashes had Victor’s heart yearn to move forward, and no longer could he hold himself back.

He gently removed Yuuri’s glasses and the laptop slid to the floor as Victor reached for him, draping his arms over Yuuri’s shoulders. Victor took his time to first press a soft kiss on Yuuri’s burning cheeks, deciding to ease Yuuri into it to help him relax.

His skin was warm – so soft against Victor’s lips. He wanted to give another.

When Victor felt Yuuri’s hands rest on his hips, He couldn’t resist. He leaned in closer, allowing their foreheads to touch before he made the first move to finally kiss Yuuri.

Their lips brushed. It was a gentle touch, something softer than the feel of Yuuri’s skin as it lingered too. But god, did Victor want more. It grew increasingly hard for him not to delve in for another once their lips parted. He had made an offer, and as much as Victor made his intentions very clear, it was time for Yuuri to do the same.

He waited with his heart on his sleeve. This was the moment that could make or break something for them. Victor didn’t often get nervous, but being so close to Yuuri, waiting for him to be kissed, completely terrified him.

And Victor gasped when Yuuri kissed him. There was something so heavenly about Yuuri’s kiss – a tender moment that took him back, surprising him in the best way possible as Victor could only smile against his lips. It was everything he wanted. For the time their lips locked together, the world itself ceased to exist and the reason behind their kiss was forgotten. No words could describe this; no rhyme or song would ever express the longing Victor had for this moment.

When their lips parted and their breaths mingled, Victor could only wish Yuuri good luck with his scene. To write a kiss so exact would take a thousand kisses, and Victor was happy to offer him every last one.

But Yuuri had done it. As Victor sat in his office hours later, still high from their kiss as he read through Yuuri’s final draft, he could give nothing but praise. He perfectly unveiled their kiss in the form of words.

He surprised Victor, time and time again.

~

I’m stuck on another scene.

Victor grinned as he typed-

Oh?

It’s a dinner scene. I think we should use your technique again and have dinner. Tonight, 8PM?

I’d be delighted.

Support me on Ko-Fi!

Read part two here! ~  Tumblr/AO3

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #310

Go Yuri go!!! official fanbook, Shimizu Youji interview

Part 5.

--- Please tell us about conversations with cast members that left a strong impression on you?

S: Toyonaga-kun was sometimes a bit confused when acting [Yuuri's role]. Yuuri sometimes approaches Victor in a way similar to how people of opposite sex approach each other, so how Yuuri feels then [from the context VA was confused why Yuuri does that]? So should I say, there was a gap between what Toyonaga-kun thinks when he's playing Yuuri and what the character actually does in the show? And to that I told him: "It's not important how this is going to be interpreted". For example, Yuuri trust Victor and needs him so much that he run towards Victor waiting at the airport to hug him. All we need to do is to properly create the context for this drama. I don't mind at all how people who have seen it will interpret that action. What's important is whether we managed to create the characters well enough, so this action doesn't seem out of place. We shouldn't try to forecast how it's going to look like, but try to show what kind of circumstances the characters are in and make [their actions] believable, instead. If we manage to do that, then people with various interests are going to feel deep emotions while watching the show, so I also told him not to play Yuuri in a falsified way [on purpose]. I also thought that if we did it, then this show which has this specific theme that is figure skating, could become something more universal. I think that conversation was an important crossroads point in the process of Toyonaga-kun creating the character of Yuuri. It seems that Toyonaga-kun was able to put that behind him, and after that I think that Yuuri's relationship with Victor became even deeper.

[Notes: Ahhh the homophobia~~ because, of course, real romantic love is only possible between people of the opposite sex, isn't it?

I've mentioned before that I avoid translating VAs interviews, and the main reason is that it's really difficult to know if their interpretation is based on something that they've heard from the Director, for example, or is it just their own opinion.

But another reason is that their interviews are sometimes so extremely anti-romantic interpretation of Yuuri and Victor's relationship, that it's almost funny. And very often it's not based on "hmm, I don't know if these two belong together...", but simply on something that, imo, can't be described as anything else but homophobia. They are both men, so any other interpretation of Y&V relationship is valid, just not that one.

Just to give you some examples that always make my blood pressure higher, whenever I remember that they exist: Victor's VA suggesting that it's obvious that Victor chose Makkachin over Yuuri (suggesting that, you know, Yuuri isn't that important to him, compared to his dog), and Yuuri's VA talking how Y&V are just like a pair of comedians and only get together "on stage" to do a show, but live completely separately... The latter one, when you read the whole answer, is on "did I watch the same show?" level. In both cases, you can just tell that they really felt the need to do those mental somersaults to convey the "Y&V isn't like that/isn't that special/isn't that strong" message across... ]

[and-then-yoi-happened]

Do you think there was a misunderstanding on Victor's part when he saw Yuuri's skating video? He was pretty forward with Yuuri that first night, so with that in mind, and also their encounter at the banquet, do you think it possible that Victor saw Yuuri's skating video as more than what would be taken at face value? Almost like a romantic gesture, in a way? Obviously Yuuri was already infatuated, but he didn't himself post the video, so it wasn't *intended* that way.

Thanksfor asking my opinion on this! ( ＾◡＾)

I’msorry this took a bit to answer and please bear with me, because thisgot long (and turned into an over 1,5k meta).

Inshort: A part of him might have hoped to date Yuuri, but not to theextend fanon seems to push this idea sometimes. Here’s why Ithink so:

Victor’spersonality:

I agreethat Victor is a romantic, but he’s so much more than that. A fewother characteristics are: very intelligent, sensible, incrediblyhard-working, a perfectionist, thorough, dedicated to his art, athroughout professional in the world of figure skating (please alwayskeep that in mind). Also, as a celebrity of sorts, I think it’sfair to assume he might tend to be careful when it comes to romance,dating and serious relationships. The show tells us he has a playboyimage, but I think it’s more a media rumour (he might’ve triedsome dates/relationships – we know of at least one – but theynever lasted, probably because he was famous and met a fair share ofshallow people. Another reason could be that he never really fell forthe other person and in the end neglected it in favour of hiscareer/he might have kept things rather casual in the first place andnever really fell in love). I don’t think he’s the playboy thatis his image, but I also don’t think he didn’t try dating or evena casual thing now and then.

What Imean is, despite him appearing to be a romantic deep down, it seemsOOC for me that he would leave everything and rush to Japan at theprospect of a romance, I rather think he’s looking for inspirationand motivation (he offers Yuuri a short-term coaching prospect atfirst, too). This doesn’t contradict that he’s attracted to Yuuriand that he might hope to date Yuuri in the foreseeable future.(Wouldn’t that be romantic! Moving countries, coaching the excitingand surprising Katsuki Yuuri and falling in true love! What if he’sthe one for my lonely heart! A romance just like in the books!)

Hiscareer and where he stands:

He’sbeen unbeatable for years and dedicated everything to figure skating.He’s passionate about it, neglects anything outside of skating,which in the end causes him to lose inspiration and motivation. Atthe beginning of the series, he’s over 30 points in the lead at theSochi GPF, so he’s in perfect condition and shape and nowhere nearretirement it seems. But with 27 years old he is also well-adviced tothink about his future after competing and start to make plans forthat future. I like to think that he wasn’t averse to the prospectof coaching, since the first words we hear him say in the series areactually tips and corrections for Yuri Plisetsky, who is expected tobecome his biggest rival in Russia with entering the senior division.Still, when the reporters ask him at the conference at worlds, justafter earning his 5th and consecutive gold there, hedoesn’t have a clear answer yet, but we later on learn that hestarted to work on Eros & Agape at this point, meaning he plannedto continue. For more on his career, see this meta.

Hisinteraction with Yuuri up until the Sochi GPF:

We gotthe confirmation from the creators that he knew who Yuuri was beforethe GPF in Sochi. He knew Yuuri was a fan of his and that Yuuri isJapan’s ace. The list of world-class competitors of figure skatingis short, meaning it’s a small world and everyone knows each other.

Pleaseremember at this point that Yuuri is an unreliable narrator and canbe hard on himself: looking back at the length of his competitivecareer it’s more than likely that he skated on the same ice asVictor in competitions before season 1, and we probably aren’t toldthat by Yuuri because he wasn’t happy with how he did at thosecompetitions (maybe he just so made the top ten at worlds? Maybe itreally was the first time he managed to get to the GPF and thequalifiers “don’t count”, because he didn’t “earn” toskate against Victor there the way he “earned” it throughqualifying for the final? Or plain and simple, the creators didn’thave the time to add this detail.). Victor must’ve gotten Yuuri’sanxious cold-shoulder every time and asks him for the commemorativephoto after the final when he sees Yuuri looking at him. I think hejust tried to break the ice here, but Yuuri downright rejected himand rudely on top of that.

Duringthe banquet:

There’sa meta that points out how carefully he approaches drunk and dancingYuuri during the banquet that follows. It’s also impossible that hedidn’t notice how drunk Yuuri was that evening (sure, he didn’tknow Yuuri would forget it completely). With Yuuri’s behaviouruntil the banquet and his drunkenness in mind I feel like Victor’smore rational side isn’t really surprised – and didn’t expectYuuri to actively try to reach out to him afterwards.

I also have ahard time to believe that he instantly fell for Yuuri – though I dobelieve that this evening changed something for him (maybe it reallygave him the coaching idea? It at least gave him inspiration for newprograms). Really, I want to believe that he choreographed Eros &Agape thinking of Yuuri, but I don’t know if that’s confirmed.All in all I’d say he walked out of the banquet with a coachingidea, feeling attracted to Yuuri, with maybe a crush and in highspirits, having had more fun in one evening than he had in a longtime.

Thefirst time he sees the video:

Thefirst time he sees the video of Yuuri skating his routine he seemsvery serious and concentrated, in fact I thought that he looked kindof upset the first time I saw the series. Besides analysing Yuuri’sskill closely, he probably wonders why Yuuri stopped competing –he’s not in shape in that video and wasn’t at worlds as Japan’srepresentative. I think he sees the potential in Yuuri to be theserious competition he didn’t have in the past seasons, the rivalthat could’ve made it an exciting and motivating challenge tocompete (remember the +30 points difference in scores between him andChris, something like that doesn’t happen in real life skatingunless the competition is a painful to watch splat-fest).

Also, Ipersonally would be like “WTF?!” at someone who refused to speakto me/acknowledge me at any given chances, but dances with me whendrunk, not to mention the dry humping part, asks me to be theircoach, never tries to contact me about this again, drops out ofcompetition and then recreates my routine to a T, withoutbeing coached, and proceeds to upload it afterwards.

I feellike one of the closest to canon interpretations of this moment is,that to Victor it looks like Yuuri was ashamed of his drunkenbehaviour and after ending things with his coach, trains and uploadsthe video almost directly after worlds to prove himself worthy ofVictor’s time and coaching with it. Demonstrating what he’s ableto pull off and proving that he really wants Victor to be hiscoach. He didn’t just upload anything, but Victor’s mostrecent, incredible difficult, gold-winning routine. And really,Victor’s expression in that scene didn’t strike me as theexpression of someone jumping at the chance of a romantic adventure,to me it always looked like he went “challenge accepted”, trulychallenged for once, able to pull something absolutely surprisingoff.

Moreover,he gets presented with the ability to test if coaching would be apossible post-competing profession. He at first only promises totrain Yuuri for the GPF and if you follow real life skating, you’llknow that not competing for a part of the season isn’t that big ofa deal, it happens fairly often (though in most cases it’s becauseof injuries).

Whenhe arrives at Hasetsu:

A whileago dear Andie posted this entertaining meta, stating that Victorwasn’t expecting Yuuri to rush to the baths when he soaked there,relaxing after his travels, and I agree with that. When he rose todeclare his plans, completely in the nude, he went harder thannecessary (in case we’re going that far withassumptions/interpretation: if he really hoped to get some casual fungoing, why not “hint” that?). He then proceeds to test the watersfurther, meaning he flirts shamelessly during the secondepisode/first night in Hasetsu, but turns it down and stops whenYuuri makes it clear he’s not interested.

Lookingback now, it is clear that Victor was trying to play a fitting role,testing different behaviours, not knowing what else to do since thatwas what he always did. We all know where it ends: he finally decidesto openly ask Yuuri in the beach scene of EP4.

Buthe has tears in his eyes after Yuuri refused to sleep with him!

Yes, hehas. Personally, I don’t think he’s crying because he wasrejected and the grand romance is in shatters now (even if he hopedfor the romance, this wouldn’t be the only reason for tears here).Other reasons for those tears could be frustration and regret.

Frustration,because he had a tiring day of travelling, jet-lag and Yuuri notgreeting him happily, not going “omg you’ll really coachme!!! I’m speechless and so honoured!!!” (for the romance part:Yuuri’s not reciprocating the flirting as well). Regret, because hemight see now that he didn’t think this through and might have madea mistake.

Ingeneral it is quite common to have this moment of frustration andregret shortly after taking a big step, when the possible, bad andunwanted outcome catches up to you and you go “oh shit”. Maybethose arguments regarding the tears may sound like excuses, but Ireally wouldn’t read heartbreak into them, not after all thearguments I brought before.

Inconclusion (TL;DR):

Yes, hemight have daydreamed of and a part of him might have hoped for theperfect love story, but I think it’s ignorant towards the rest ofhis character to reduce his actions to him “chasing tail” or“misunderstanding Yuuri skating stammi vicino for a signalthat Yuuri wants him romantically”. This just ignores all the otherfacts in this meta and is quite a two-dimensional interpretation. Awell written story acknowledges that the world isn’t black andwhite, it gives its characters more than one motivation for (all of)their actions.

I hopeI could give you a satisfying answer with this meta, nonny! Feel freeto ask if you want to know more and/or want me to elaborate.~

[katzuyas]

dazzle me with gold

from the start | ao3 | previous part

They spend the day in bed: talking, lazy, in love with each other and the world.

Yuuri does not speak of what matters he and Lady Alisa touched upon when they spoke, and Victor does not ask. He can feel Yuuri tense up every now and then once he gets lost in thought, but all it takes is a caress of Victor's hand to bring him back – and he does come back, with a smile and a kiss pressed to Victor's forehead as if in protection or apology... For what, however, Victor does not know, yet he is certain that should he ask, Yuuri would not be willing to tell him.

So he doesn't.

It's a little bit suspicious, but Victor has learned to trust his gut over the years and what his gut is telling him now is to trust Yuuri and wait for him to open up. To meet him with love and acceptance once he does.

Instead, Victor asks what Yuuri wishes to do once they make it to the little cottage beyond the Belt Woods.

"Just rest," Yuuri says with a wistful curl to his lips. "A lot has happened since I left home and... it would be nice to simply sit back and think of nothing for once, don't you agree?"

"I do, yes," Victor replies then. "No watchful eyes, no spies, no one to pretend before. Added to that, your mother's fabulous cooking? What else could a man want?"

Yuuri's laughter is a soft thing in Victor's ear. "I'm sure she will be happy to see you again as well."

The servants come and go, asking this or that, but Yuuri handles it all while Victor simply lounges around on his chest like one of those harlots that the nobles are so fond of keeping. As he does so, Victor thinks he would not exactly mind being one. If, of course, Yuuri was his noble keeper, that is. After all, Victor is far from the type of man to easily submit his free will to others, but to his Yuuri? He would do so without having been asked.

"Thinking deep thoughts?" Yuuri asks just as the doors close after a maid who came to receive confirmation on supper. "Care to share with me, my Vitya?"

Warmth blossoms over Victor's heart at the name that now passes through Yuuri's lips easy as breathing. It's lovely, the sound of it, and Victor basks in it like he basks in Yuuri's attention.

"Just thinking about you, my love," he says back. "About how lucky I am to have met you."

Yuuri offers him a brilliant smile. "So am I, you ought to know that."

"I do," Victor admits, pleased by it beyond belief. "I surely do. You keep telling me that whenever I confess my admiration for you, after all."

Yuuri's laugh is a little sheepish as if he was caught red-handed at mischief. Victor allows a grin to stretch his cheeks, too.

"I keep stealing your moments, aren't I?" Yuuri asks. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Victor answers easily. "I love hearing you say it, too. And I love... well, I love everything about you, my darling Yuuri. You can steal whatever you want that is mine, because it all belongs to you anyway."

Yuuri remains silent for a second, before he snorts gently into Victor's hair, where he is hiding his face.

"Is it really stealing if it's mine already?" he asks, and Victor realizes the reason for his mirth. He chuckles as well, warm in the arms that Yuuri has wrapped around him.

"Well then," he says, "There is no need to be sorry in that case. What's mine is yours, my love."

Yuuri only kisses his head in a reply. He's been overtly indulgent the entire day and hardly be it in Victor to complain, oh no, but the fact remains – it is unusual. And Victor knows the reason for it. How could he not, when the back of his mind is wrapped in darkness that only Yuuri's presence keeps at bay?

He shudders to think of what the night could bring, but thankfully, it is still a few hours away. Yuuri's hand sliding down his back is a good enough distraction and Victor allows himself to enjoy the caress.

"How are you feeling?" Yuuri asks, gentle as always.

"Mostly healed, I believe," Victor says truthfully. He shifts his legs and the pain is only minimal, something that will surely go away overnight. "Could I stay in bed with you for all my ails, my love, I would never complain about it again."

"As long as you'll want me here, I will be," Yuuri tells him with a smile.

"Unless, of course, you get ill first. Then I will be by your side for whatever you need," Victor returns, but Yuuri shakes his head at him.

"You already were, remember? That day when we swam in the lake?"

"Oh, that!" With a smile Victor recalls the day and Yuuri's impressive dive off of Lamorak's back. "It seems like it was so long ago, but it couldn't have been more than a few weeks, could it?"

"Not even a month," Yuuri confirms, wonder in his voice. "But I feel the same way. It feels as if... as if we were always together."

He seems to catch himself before saying something else. A tender pink blossoms on his cheeks, maybe from shame, maybe embarrassment, and maybe something else. Victor takes it in with adoring eyes, regardless of what it is, because to him it's one thing and one thing only – beautiful.

"I apologize, that was a silly thing to say," Yuuri follows.

"No, my love, it wasn't. I feel much the same," Victor confesses softly, watching how Yuuri's face melts into warmth to match his own. "It's mysterious how it works, no? Love. We have only just met, it seems, but I feel like I have adored you for a lot longer."

"As if..." Yuuri licks his lips, a nervous tick that Victor fully adores. "As if we were meant to be?"

"Yes," Victor agrees.

There is something in Yuuri's eyes, soft, yet red, that shines from within his soul and Victor wonders if it is that, if it's Yuuri's soul calling out to his own – its other half.

"As if we were meant to be," he repeats. "Do you truly believe that, my Yuuri?"

"I can't help it," Yuuri admits. "I was drawn to you from the first moment, and maybe it was simply curiosity at first, maybe it was silly infatuation, but... I don't think so. You see, I was never interested in people this way. I never bothered. But you, you made me want to be bothered. I believe there must be more to it than simple attraction, but even if there isn't... I would choose you, still, Vitya. I would always choose you."

Clumsy as his words are, they take Victor's breath away.

"I love you," Victor simply says, because he cannot think of any other way to answer a confession like that. "I love you with my whole heart, my Yuuri."

Carefully, he presses his lips to Yuuri's and repeats the words once more against them. And Yuuri, his sweet, kind Yuuri, he smiles into the kiss and whispers it back, because he has made a choice that matches Victor's – a choice to stay, a choice to love.

[cheerysmores]

Between Espresso and Roses (Part sixteen)

-

Yuuri is quite aware that he’s known for his stamina.

There’s never been a bully he couldn’t outrun, some school distance record he wasn’t able to break, and that there was a reason his last partner kept the largest tube of lube possible under his bed when they were dating. Yet despite all his endurance, he can feel himself being defeated by a flight of stairs.

Well specifically seventeen flights of stairs.

“Come on Yuuri… You’ve climbed…way more stairs… than this before.” His mumbled gasp does little to rally him, eyes burning when he sees that he’s barely two thirds of the way there. He desperately wants to stop, but knows that when he does there’s an increasing chance that he’ll keel over in front of a random stranger’s door.

He’d rather that not be the way Victor sees him again.

Great stamina is one thing, but so is walking up more than a dozen flights of stairs on no sleep… or coffee. By the time Yuuri reaches the fifteenth floor of Victor’s building, he’s fairly certain he’d rather eat every bouquet he’d been sent than look at the acidic lime green wall paper of the stairwell for another minute.

The fact that he currently feels like he could cough up whatever dried husk of his lungs were left isn’t exactly helping.

He knows it’s his own fault. That he’s stalling facing the inevitable judgement that’s coming his way. The fire of determination that had fuelled his jog over here had died down considerably once he was actually standing outside the apartment complex. So, of course when he got inside he found his legs instinctively walking towards the stairs rather inside the perfectly functional elevator right in front of him.

He lets out another wet cough as he grabs the hand rail to drag his feet up the last few stairs, the thoughts flitting around his dehydrated brain getting increasingly more annoyed.

Of all the stupid things you’ve done over the past month, this might be in the top three. Good job Yuuri.

Finally reaching the top floor, he collapses against the wall, taking a few deep breathes to try and soothe the rough, burning air scratching in his lungs from his climb. He tries to ignore the dishevelled reflection he can see in the window down the hall or the sweat soaking into the fabric of his clothes as he pulls out the address from his pocket, an increasingly louder part of his mind telling him that, knowing his luck, there is a distinct possibility that he’d come to the wrong floor.

Briefly flicking his eyes up, he pockets the paper when he catches the door in front of him.

Even if he hadn’t been given the door number, he’s fairly certain he could guess which place was Victor’s with the immaculately potted blue roses blooming happily by the base of the door.

As he stands and pads over to the door he can feel himself getting lightheaded and he knows it isn’t from the climb. Well… not just from the climb.

Looking at the door, he wonders whether he should have actually buzzed at the main entrance rather than sneaking in with the postman. At least then if he was going to get yelled at he wouldn’t have to look Victor in the face. In his stupid beautiful face.

That face which has been pretty upset recently because of him.

He reaches out and knocks on the door without thinking.

“Victor? Are you in there? It’s Yuuri.” He clears his throat when his voice comes out like a sandpapery croak, trying his best to sound like an actual human being. “You know… from the flower deliveries?”

There’s no answer from inside. Yuuri waits, each second dragging on painfully slowly, but still nothing. For a few seconds he considers scribbling a note on a piece of paper and sticking it to the door before swiftly heading home to scream his frustrations into a pillow… until he catches the shadow of someone pacing underneath the crack in the door.

His heart leaps in his throat at the sight, his first instinct to bolt for the elevator, but as his heels start to turn, he can practically hear the rational side of his brain screaming at him after weeks of being buried under a thick blanket of anxiety.

Okay he doesn’t want to talk… fair enough, but you know you’re going to drown in guilt if you don’t say your piece right now.

“Look I’m not sure exactly what Chris has told you but I really really need to talk to you.”

There’s still no response, the only sounds in the quiet hallway his laboured breathing and the soft scrape of the elevator as it passes his floor.

He bites his lip, wondering if he should continue. He knows he completely deserves Victor’s icy silence after everything he’s done but after everything that’s happened over the past month, he also knows that he can’t back down. Not when he’s finally here.

“I’m sorry.” He addresses the spyhole directly, hoping Victor can hear how much he means it. “What I said the other day- I mean I had no idea it was you who was sending them but I- I’m sorry that I said those things. I didn’t mean to insult your work, they really are lovely. Every one of them was so so amazing.” He can feel himself rambling so stops, taking a breath and running through the words he’d been wanting to tell him ever since he’d left his bedroom this morning.

“I didn’t even know you could get blue roses,” he murmurs, thinking of the one bouquet he’d left on his kitchen table. It was the simplest one, a soft arrangement of different coloured roses that really did bring a nice colourful energy to the room.

He tries not to think about all the others that he threw in the garbage.

“I’m just really not used to people showing much interest in me and suddenly all those gifts with no note- it just made me think someone was playing some kind of prank. I know I should have figured it out sooner, I mean all that work you put in…” His voice catches, all the self-loathing of the previous evening ready to spill over cold and sticky in his mind. “I just can’t believe you thought I was worth the effort.”

The pacing stops. He looks down and sees the shadow underneath the door has stilled, remaining close to the wood.

He sighs and drops his head forward, leaning it against the door.

He might as well let everything else out.

“I think the thing I regret the most about his whole mess is not being able to remember that night. Phichit tells me we had his whole amazing evening together but I have no idea what we did or where we went or how you came to conclusion that I was something worth talking to.” He rubs his sore eyes behind his glasses, old regrets about the night they met flicking to the forefront of his mind. “The minute I saw you I knew you were so far out of my league I’d be crazy to even try.”

There’s still no response from behind the door. Stepping back a little, he sees the shadow has gone, taking any hope of reconciliation he might have had with it.

Yuuri lets out another beleaguered sigh, lifting his head so he can at least finish what he started for once. “Look, I’m sorry. And… if you want to talk, you know where I am.”

He stands staring at the door for another few seconds. He did feel a little lighter after letting it all out, but the lack of any real answer or acceptance of his apology still has guilt churning thickly in his gut.

At least Phichit’s sacrifice wasn’t completely wasted.

Turning around, he nearly walks straight into the person behind him. Stumbling to avoid the collision, he presses a hand against the wall to steady himself, quickly whipping his head up to apologise. “Oh I’m so-so…”

He feels his stomach drop to the floor at the sight of the silver haired man standing barely a foot away from him, a brown paper bag clutched in both hands.

“Victor!?” He doesn’t mean to expel his name quite as loudly as he does and instantly covers his mouth with one of his hands, thoughts bouncing erratically in his mind.

Of course. Of course something like this was going to happen. Because nothing this month could just be simple could it?

As Yuuri lowers his hand, Victor smiles a little and shifts his bag of groceries to one hand so he can slowly wave with the other. “Hi.”

Yuuri instinctively straightens himself and wishes there wasn’t a wall behind him so he could back away without it looking super awkward. “Did you- hear any of that?”

Victor chuckles a little as he digs around in his jacket pocket, his voice tinted with amusement. “All of it I’m afraid.”

Yuuri blinks in confusion before turning back around to stare at his front door. “Wait… then who was I talking to?”

“Probably my dog, though I’m sure she appreciates the sentiment.” The brightness doesn’t leave his expression.

Yuuri can feel his face quickly shooting through several shades of red as the idiocy of what has just happened slowly dawns on him. “Oh my God.”

“So how exactly do you know where I live?” Victor cocks his head, raising a perfectly shaped silver eyebrow.

“Y-Yuri,” he mumbles, wondering anyone else in history had ever felt so many different forms of embarrassment in such a short amount of time.

“Huh, I’m surprised he was so helpful,” the other man murmurs pulling his keys out and walking past him to open his door.

He diverts his gaze to the floor, part of him glad that the other man wasn’t visibly upset or verbally abusing him for being such an ass, but the other part growing increasingly scared as to why. “Do you- do you want me to go?” He eventually mumbles, wanting to stare at the dirty carpet but the last remnants of his courage letting him actually look the other man in the eye.

Victor pushes the door open, but pauses for a minute as if considering his answer. “Hmmm… no.” He turns his head, his smile coy. “I think there’s a few things we need to clear up, don’t you?”

With that, he strides inside, leaving Yuuri standing confused and sweaty in the hallway, wondering if the last five minutes actually just happened.

As Yuuri tries to ground himself in reality, Victor sticks his head back through the door, smirking at Yuuri’s dumbfounded expression. “Well, are you coming in?”

☕️ Part fifteen ☕️ ☕️ Part seventeen ☕️

🌹 AO3 🌹

[poorlilbeans]

The Grossest Day of Yuuri’s Life

I haven’t figured out how to submit a post to the official page cause i’m an idiot, but here’s my fic for day one of sick days!

Summary: Yuuri, Victor, Phichit, Chris, Yuri and Otabek are stuck in an elevator together and Yuuri is hella sick. (2600 words)

WARNINGS: Vomit, poop, accidents, mild anxiety, crying, fever/delirium, confined spaces, hospital/ambulance mention. Really, this fic is fucking disgusting. Also there are a couple of lines in French, and my French is probably very rusty. Proceed with caution.

           Years later, in an interview, Yuuri and Victor would be asked, “What’s the grossest thing that’s ever happened to you?” Yuuri would blush to his toes, laugh bashfully, and Victor would take his hand as the two did their best to recount a somewhat television friendly version of the story. It was just a memory, maybe a little funny in hindsight, and absolutely embarrassing. Currently, however, it was not years later. It was nearly 10pm, and Yuuri was stuck in an elevator with the Stomachache to End All Stomachaches.

           They were in Quebec City in the dead of winter- some of the biggest names in figure skating had showed up for this invitational competition. It was a grand two day event, not a part of the grand prix series but still as competitive as ever, all in the name of fun, skating, and good sportsmanship. After free skates were done Victor and Yuuri had gone for a walk around the city, and shared a poutine for lunch before being invited by Chris to a Quebecois sugar shack for dinner. It had been loud and crowded, the cozy restaurant absolutely packed with hungry athletes. Yuuri was absolutely determined to be normal tonight; yes, he had been around people all freaking day, and yes, he was stressed, exhausted, and fighting to ignore a headache. But damn it, he was going to be normal, and he used up all the energy he could muster to socialize, and tuned out J.J’s boring rant about how awful American beer is compared to Canadian beer, how he’d drink a whole litre of the stuff if he didn’t have to drive home tonight, and joined everyone else in indulging in servings of tourtiere, pancakes, and Canadian maple bacon. He suffered in the cold with everyone else learning to roll sticks of snow taffy, and left for the hotel feeling uncomfortably full, but also pretty proud of himself for participating in all this social activity. With some of the younger skaters having left early to go to bed and J.J heading home with Isabella, Yuuri, Victor, Chris, Phichit, Yuri, and Otabek arrived back at the hotel together to spend some time relaxing in one of their rooms.

           All of the skaters for this particular competition were housed on the ninth floor. Huddling into the elevator, Yuuri found himself burying his face in Victor’s scarf, dreading spending any time in someone else’s room, or worse, having other people in their room. His stomach hurt. His head hurt. His fingers and toes were tingling, and he felt cold sweat building and dripping under his jacket. In the cab home he’d assumed it was just anxiety- it had been a big day, after all- but now he felt sick and weak, and was feeling symptoms of his anxiety entirely separate from all of that. The lift started moving and Victor was stroking his back, always in tune with how Yuuri was feeling, but somebody else in the elevator knew him at least as well, and wasn’t interested in subtlety the way that Victor was. That somebody poked Yuuri on the butt with a selfie stick to get his attention.

“You don’t have to keep hanging out with everybody if you don’t feel up to it,” Phichit reminded him, poking his butt again when he hesitated to respond. Yuuri managed a half-smile and hip checked the device away from him, biting his lip when the movement sent a ripple of discomfort through his stomach. Phichit’s slightly-louder-than-intended voice had summoned all eyes on him, and Yuuri was working his jaw around an excuse about being tired when the elevator came to a creaking halt, stuck between the seventh and eighth floors. Everyone startled, and Otabek was the first to get his shit together and press the call button. Yuuri gulped, feeling his heart (and stomach) drop straight to his ass. There was a pause, and then a crackling voice sounded through an overhead speaker.

Bonsoir, Hôtel de Jardin Royale. All eyes rested on Chris, and noting he was already absorbed in tweeting about the stuck elevator, Victor rolled his eyes and spoke up.

“Allo, nous avons six personnes dans l’ascenseur, et il ne bouge pas. Aussi, nous sommes internationel. Parlez vous Anglais?” There was another brief pause, followed by:

Un moment, s’il vous plait. There was a clunk as the employee put them on hold, and Chris glanced up from his phone.

“His accent was fucking disgusting,” he commented, before busying himself again in Twitter.

“Your face is fucking disgusting,” Victor replied. Yuuri whimpered in discomfort and Victor brought a gentle hand up to his hair, gently petting him and scratching his scalp.

“What did you say?” Yuuri asked quietly.

“I just told him the elevator stopped and we’re all stuck in here. I think he’s getting someone who speaks English for us.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re claustrophobic,” Yurio snapped. He leveled Yuuri with an accusatory, if a little concerned, look.

“I’m fine, I just-

Hello, this is the hotel manager. Are you all alright up there?

“Hi,” Phichit chirped brightly. “We’re stuck.”

Yes, the engineers are already on their way.

“How quickly can you get us out?” Yuuri asked, and everyone raised their eyebrows. After all, this was basically a phone call, something Yuuri usually Did Not do.

It depends. The engineers will evaluate the problem and whether it’s safe to pull you all out before they get to work. If there is a medical emergency, and it is safe to do so, we can call the fire department to get you down.

“Are you okay?” Victor whispered, meeting Yuuri’s eyes.

“I have to go to the bathroom!” Yuuri wailed. He immediately clapped a hand over his mouth, realizing what he’d just blurted out. “I mean- I…” Yurio was howling with laughter, but everyone else at least looked sympathetic.

“So that’s what’s wrong with you,” Chris chuckled. Yuuri could swear he heard the manager holding back a snicker as well, but maybe it was just his imagination. He hoped.

Unfortunately that doesn’t count as a medical emergency- I couldn’t legally call 911 because you need the washroom. However we’ll do our best to get you out of there as quickly as possible.

Yuuri turned and buried his face in Victor’s scarf again. The pain in his stomach was quickly turning into nausea, and he was feeling weaker and shakier by the second. He zoned out as the manager gave them a generic hang in there and hung up the phone for the time being, only tuning back into reality when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

PHICHIIIT<3- Are you really okay?-

Yuuri glanced up, giving a short nod when Phichit met his eyes. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t look convinced. There was silence for a moment, but Yuri was in the elevator too, so of course it didn’t last.

“So, you need to piss, Katsudon?”

              Time was crawling. Yuuri had long since sat on the floor, too exhausted to stand, and Victor sat beside him, helping him out of his coat when he noticed how sweaty he was. Before long everyone else followed suit and made themselves comfortable. At this point Yuuri was swallowing convulsively, and they still had no idea how long their imprisonment would last. Weirdly enough, it was Otabek who finally spoke up.

“Victor, I think Yuuri is going to throw up.” Yuuri felt the weight of everyone’s eyes landing on him, but he just couldn’t muster the I’m fine this time. He was too tired. His stomach hurt too much. He heard Victor sigh, felt him rub his shoulder. He didn’t sound surprised.

“Does anyone have a bag or something?” Victor asked. His voice was low, worried. It was Yuuri’s fault.

“Here, use this.” Yuuri slit his eyes open and watched Phichit pull a couple of maple leaf and fleur de lis keychains and some maple candies out of a shopping bag and pass it to Victor. Victor took Yuuri’s hands, moved them so they held the handles of the bag.

“Just if you need it, okay?” Being given something to puke in instantly made him ten times more nauseous, but Yuuri bit his lip, desperate to suppress it. There was no way he would throw up in front of five other people. No wa-

Fuck.

No.

Yuuri was gagging uncontrollably, desperately swallowing back wave after wave of sick. Victor’s hands were on his back, in his hair, on his hands, making sure the bag was open. His voice was in his ear whispering “just let it out, it’s okay, you’re okay.” He pressed his hand against his mouth and Yuri’s voice floated into his consciousness.

“If he pukes I swear to god.” A wet burp escaped and tasted sickeningly like maple syrup, and that was the last straw. Vomit splashed forcefully into the shopping bag. Yuuri coughed and heaved, and he genuinely didn’t know if the tears pouring down his cheeks were from the strain or the humiliation. Maybe both. He tried taking a deep breath, but it turned into a retch halfway. His entire abdomen clenched against his will, and as he heaved again, hot lava loudly and painfully exited him, straight into his pants and onto the floor. By the time he caught a break everyone was silent, staring in horror. Half delirious, Yuuri wondered if it was obvious he’d just shit his pants. Then there was a crackle above him, and the speaker buzzed to life again.

The engineers are here, and they’re working on fixing the problem. Unfortunately you are stuck between floors, so it looks like they’ll have to repair the elevator to get you back down here. How’s everybody doing up there?

“One of us is really sick,” Phichit answered frantically. “Are you sure you can’t get us out to help him?”

Unfortunately it isn’t safe to try and pull you out, but if you need it I can call an ambulance and have it waiting for him when we get you down.

“He doesn’t need an ambulance, he needs a bed,” Victor sighed. He was running his hand through Yuuri’s hair. It was so cool. So nice. He almost felt like he could fall asleep…

RING RING!

Everyone jumped, and Yuuri snapped awake as Phichit rushed to silence his ringing phone.

“Oh, it’s Ciao Ciao,” he mumbled, sheepishly raising it to his ear. “Hey.”

“Hi, Ciao Ciao!” Yuuri sang. He felt drunk. The unrelenting pain and fever was intoxicating, and somehow, covered in sweat and shit, holding a bag of puke, Yuuri was suddenly feeling surprisingly social. Phichit glanced at him, making no effort to hide the concern in his eyes. Not that Yuuri minded; even high on a boiling brain, he was pretty well aware of what he looked like right now.

“Do you want me to put him on speaker, Yuu?” Yuuri grinned dopily, and Phichit pressed the speaker button, letting the hand holding his phone fall to his lap.

“Where are you two?” came Celestino’s voice, and Phichit rubbed at his eyebrow.

“We’re in a stuck elevator. In the hotel. Say hi, everyone.” Four voices chimed in with a hello, followed by a loud belch out of Yuuri, and a responding gag from Yurio.

“Text me next time, you’re always on your phone after all. Is Yuuri drunk?”

“No, he’s sick, and we’ve been stuck in here for almost an hour,” Phichit sighed.

“I’m not sick,” Yuuri defended, having no idea why he suddenly felt inclined to lie about this. “I just have to go to the bathroom.”

“You already went to the bathroom,” Yurio spat. Yuuri threw him a halfhearted dirty look, but it felt a bit ridiculous given the disgusting mess he was sitting in. Looking up, though, he realized everyone in the elevator looked pale and uncomfortable. Otabek was hiding his nose and mouth in his scarf. Chris had his knees brought up to his face so only his eyes were visible. Yuri was blatantly holding his nose, and Phichit was grimacing as he talked to Ciao Ciao in a low voice. Even Victor was breathing shallowly, coughing to himself as he cuddled Yuuri, hugging the source of the nasty smell like a trooper. Guilt flooded Yuuri’s being all at once, and he was crying before he had a chance to realize how upset he was. Time was racing and crawling at the same time. He could hear Victor talking in his ear, Phichit talking to Ciao Ciao, Yuri saying something to Chris and Otabek in his biting voice, but it all morphed into overwhelming white noise. He could hear his stomach grumbling inside of him- something was still definitely leaking out of the back end of him, and he felt his hands tremble at the thought that he might throw up again. He cried and cried, desperately wanting to stop but unable to even remember what it was like to not be crying. He cried so hard he threw up, and it caught him off guard- only about half the puke actually made it into the bag, the rest coating his hands and lap. Then Victor was wiping his hands with tissues from someone’s bag, but it didn’t even matter because Yuuri felt so utterly disgusting. He was sticky and wet and smelly and after all of this nonsense his stomach was STILL hurting. It wasn’t fair.

           By the time the elevator groaned to life the cramping had become too much to handle, and Yuuri had felt everyone’s glares as a second wave of mush filled his pants. He was so dehydrated he ran out of tears, but his hiccupped sobs wouldn’t stop, as hard as he tried to hold them back. Everyone else cheered when the elevator started moving. Yuuri just gagged miserably.

           Everyone stumbled desperately out onto the first floor, gasping for fresh air. Yurio ran and puked in the fancy trash can in the lobby. Otabek actually stepped outside for a few minutes. Victor carried Yuuri out, and Phichit carried the sacrificed shopping bag at an arm’s length, depositing it in the garbage once Yuri was out of the way. The engineers were now holding their breath as they continued to work on the faulty elevator. Obviously the cleaning staff would have to be called down as well. The manager was apologizing profusely, offering them all coupons they didn’t want.

“So,” Victor spoke up, “Can I get him up to our room in the other elevator, or is that one going to break down on us too?”

“The other elevator is working just fine. Although given the state of this one, I’d have to request that you do your best not to… make a mess in the working one.

“I won’t,” Yuuri groaned, probably surprising the manager. He looked like he was asleep in Victor’s arms. “I just want to go to sleep.” He felt Victor kiss his head and start off toward the working elevator.

“I’ll come with you,” came Phichit’s voice. Victor startled.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. He’s really not well, and… well, we’ve lived together before. I know it’s hard taking care of him, ‘cause he gets so sick. I can run a bath and buy some ginger ale from the vending machine while you wipe him off.” Yuuri listened and felt affection for his friend well up in his chest. People were so good to him.

“And we’ll take the stairs,” Chris announced cheerfully, prompting quick agreement from Yuri and Otabek. The six split up and Yuuri settled in Victor’s arms, exhausted and ready to be clean and in bed.

[cafecliche]

PLEASE TALK AT US ABOUT YUURI AND CHRIS

!!!! HAPPILY AND WITH PLEASURE.

Chris is, at heart, a bit of a romantic, so once he catches that rose Victor Nikiforov tossed him he has visions of inspiring another skater like that one day. He’s got a little longer to go in Juniors, and he wants to look out for someone, encourage them. When he’s sent to grab a bottle of water for the baby-faced Japanese skater who went bone-white and all but fainted dead away at his first presser, Chris is pretty sure his moment has come.

As he’s wracking his brain for something Meaningful to say, the baby-faced skater leans close and whispers, in a soft, accented voice, “Kill me.” Despite himself, Chris throws his head back and cackles.

(Thankfully for Chris, that sets Yuuri Katsuki at ease like concern never could.)

Yuuri never really has an ugly duckling phase. It’s unfair, really. But whatever jealousy Chris might feel is secondary to the honor and privilege of watching the profoundly stupid things people do upon seeing Yuuri Katsuki.

“Oh,” Yuuri says, rising from his impossibly deep stretch as one of the Americans chokes on his protein bar. “Is he okay?”“Maybe you should get him some water,” Chris says, innocent. “He looks thirsty.”

Yuuri is one of the few people to know that Chris is an introvert, deep down. They spend a lot of time sitting next to each other with their phones out, occasionally leaning over to show the other a Victor video.

(As the Close Personal Friend and Competitor of Victor Nikiforov, Chris needs to downplay his admiration in public. He does not share such obligations with Yuuri.)

That said, Yuuri is 16 and Chris is 18 when they’re competing together in Paris. “Can I ask you something,” Yuuri says in his sweet, soft voice. Chris, still always ready for his Rose Moment, snaps to attention.“Where can we dance,” is what Yuuri asks. “Around here.”They get back to the hotel at 2am.

Whenever they compete together from then on, they go dancing to blow off steam. When they’re not interested in dancing with strangers, they pretend to be together. Yuuri is good at looking possessive. (That’s just how he always squints when he’s not wearing his glasses, but what Paris doesn’t know won’t hurt them.)

They fool around a handful of times, off and on, always low key and low obligation. “It’s so nice of Chris to put up with this,” Yuuri always thinks. “Thank you God and also Jesus,” Chris always thinks.

“I could introduce you,” Chris says often, regarding Victor.Yuuri always shakes his head firmly. “I need to do it right.”(He doesn’t, of course. It works out perfectly anyway.)