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#I dont really get their sense of competition; you want to improve what the other does because you think what they create is so beautiful
chatdae · 4 months
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okay GENUINELY what does "We call everything on the ice 'love'" mean??
I am not certain what Yuuri means... maybe that all of the collaboration, competition, and sharing of ideas that takes place in skating is all a form of showing love? Enough to make me shake and cry and fall over, but i'd still love to hear if people have other interpretations
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chamoemileclown · 10 months
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saw someone else post about this and i really agree i think it just wasnt the right time for purgatory, the stakes were there but the vibe and the point in roleplay development for individual characters just.. wasnt it for me. I dont know what they have planned for the future so i cant say it shouldve happened later, but i think because of all the trips and vidcon the charas had just gotten to a point where they had started healing from their kids going missing only to be thrown into this, which can be a good point narratively but theres also a couple other things that kinda just didnt let it work out for me tbh
a lot of it was just the rules and events were weird? that probably makes no sense. but like from a viewer pov it felt like the characters were beta testers for this and the rules have been constantly changing, so its hard to get comfortable in. Like when theres a set of consistent rules teams are able to more accurately strategize and such and they couldnt really do that? so it just felt like weird improv the whole time which theyre very good at but it was just.. like idk unbalanced? thats a dif point that contributed
like etoiles pointed this out that they balanced the teams (not really imo) in game but not fandom-wise, like certain teams had a very large fanbase and certain others had a very small one, etc etc. And like for example blue team had much less people on consistently but by the time they realized that it was probably too late to change teams without an event like the one recently splitting green. I feel like the admins tried to mix up the players outside of their usual friend groups but it just kinda cut the ints in half? i know cellbit didnt wanna kill roier, bad was very isolated from all his regular friends and therefore nobody wanted to talk to him (he wasnt on their team), tubbo was kinda suffering because he couldnt use create. Red team was overwhelmingly loud, blue was crushingly quiet, green was... tbh not on a lot of the time. Not good to watch from most POVs
i could be wrong about a couple things but like this is my general feeling on it, odd timing and weird balancing combined with toxic fandoms caused by competitiveness within the streams kinda ruined it for me, you can only curate ur experience so much
I really like how you put the first part because it was also something that I had felt about the event but I couldn’t really pinpoint why? I’m sure that a lot of the planning came down to a lot of stuff we can’t see behind the scenes like trying to be mindful of the ccs/ admins schedules but scheduling purgatory so far out from the disappearance really changed a lot. Like I just got used to not having the eggs and being fine with that and a lot of the ccs did sort of move on/ adapt to it. Obviously most people want the eggs back safe but I think some novelty has worn off after being away from them for so long. I think purgatory would’ve had more of an effect if the wound was more fresh when purgatory took place it would’ve made the stakes higher and I don’t think as many people would be saying “oh I don’t care if the eggs die at this point just end purgatory.”
Also the rules changing I noticed too was really jarring from day to day. I feel like a lot of the qsmp is like this and it’s a product of the admins being quick to respond to complaints in general and changing things accordingly. In my ideal world where the admin team could’ve just run the event with a test group to almost like stress test the rules? but i doubt that’s a very viable option. It would’ve been nice to see teams strategize more than play off the cuff in the limited time frame they have I feel like that only really rewards people with spontaneous playstyles
I think a lot of the problems with balancing fanbases revolves around people not knowing how to act online. The qsmp has long stretches where there isn’t much character conflict so that’s attracted a lot of people who feel really attracted to one pov and just don’t know how to handle conflict. We’ve seen this stuff outside of purgatory like during the entirety of the elections arc and when characters have an insignificant argument in rp. I don’t think you could balance viewers while also balancing skill but its definitely a problem that exists and doesn’t really have a clean solution. Also I do think the division of teams was to encourage different people to interact or possibly drive more in rp angst but it did fall flat in ways that were unintended.
Overall I think a lot of purgatory was trying to cater to a lot of people at once but thats just not working. I enjoyed the event from the standpoint that no matter what the admins want a good audience experience and they wouldn’t intentionally let us down. This seems more like a fundamental flaw in the server maybe? That it’s just not structured to be doing competitive game in this format at the very least.
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lunar-lair · 1 year
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oh my god i never told you guys abt my disaster twins competitive pkmn players concept. one sec ill put it under a cut for you bc this might get long lmao
so basically. gen 9 came out, and the boys, in their recent-switch glory, were like omg hell yes. game time. donnie and leo both get violet and mikey and raph both get scarlet (theyve got their own games bc they would tear each other apart if they had to share physical copies trust me) and generally trade around exclusives and chill etc etc. also while im on this leo picks quaxly, mikey is a toss up between fuecoco and quaxly, raph picks fuecoco obvs, and donnie picks sprigatito, as does april when she gets her own copy of violet later (which she honestly only chose for the loyalty points lmao she likes karaidon better)
anyways i was saying. donnie is one of those nerds who like perfectly iv trains his normal ass in-game team and builds perfect compositions around typings and looks up the gyms types n stuff and he was SO excited when he learned abt tera types and how they impacted team comps
leo on the other hand has the messiest type crossover and team comp EVER but still manages to thrash his opponents bc he uses really good movesets and strategies
the twins get into watching competitive videos while they play violet in silence together (hashtag parallel play) until donnie eventually starts commenting on weird stat spreads and leo eventually bursts out about shitty move choices and weird sets, or leo starts showing donnie videos abt odd pkmn getting high in latters, and then they start watching showdown battles...
and they lightbulb.
donnie loves building teams more than anything else, loves making them efficient as humanly possible.
leo loves showing the potential of odd pokemon and would kill for a good strategic challenge after all this time (hes been protecting against nemona and using electroweb against gym leaders, poor guy).
and, well, its not like you need anything special to get on the ladder in violet...
they start out simple, donnie building a basic team and leo reviewing it before going at the basic gen 9 ladders.
they kind of wreck house.
they just start going at the ladders with that team in their free time, then a different one when they get bored, then one with a few oddballs when donnie decides to ask leo what pokemon he wants to use, then they get kind of bored of just paldean pokemon so donnie gets to work understanding showdown...
but while its fun, they dont have anyone to brag to, because their brothers have no fucking clue what theyre talking about.
donnie has experience with youtube, right?
so they set up a little joint thing; a channel called disasterx2, no webcam, just videos about ladder battles. they end up specializing both in unique teams and movesets and in just vids about breaking down walls in ladders with a normal team. what makes both nifty is that donnie explains the whole team comp in a separate video to the battles, and the aesthetic quality is improved by donnies sensibilities and mikeys input (he was absolutely excited when they asked him to help with it. leo was no help. so much offense, actually, i have a feeling his fashion sense is good but the moment you try to make him make something look good visually on its own hes screwed.), and leos strategies are batshit, and ofc the boys are the boys, they go on tangents sometimes when they do real-time audio during battles and sometimes they just. dont cut them out. raph and mikey make guest appearances sometimes, april cheers them on on occasion, her and raph are very relieved bc its finally something non destructive they can spend their time on, its all great.
leo very often picks pokemon and movesets out and then donnie provides the pokemon (through breeding and stat spread tweaking, because god knows hed love that nerd shit). donnie likes it because 1. how leo uses those outlier pokemon is very interesting and 2. it gives him an opportunity to think about how to apply the right stats, natures, etc to apply to the pokemon and moves leo chose.
one of my favorite ever headcanons is that leo gets quiet when he focuses. like, dead quiet, and terrifyingly quiet. hes well known in their fandom for being very chatty over voiceover and then pretty quiet whenever hes playing challenging battles. donnie doesnt understand the strategies all that well so when leo gets too focused he just talks a lot abt the stat spreads and they add extra text to the video lmao. sometimes they utilize their clueless family members to have them ask questions they wouldnt have considered due to their knowledge in videos, sometimes donnie snags mikey while leos too quiet when theyre doing real-time audio, etc the fam knows theyre just glad theyre having fun
looks around flips through my mental notebook. nods twice. thats it i think! basically i think itd be fun if the twins played competitive but donnie built the teams and leo played hehe. i thought of it one day and it just stuck with me. anyways thanks for sticking w me through this long post that i need to end before my phone glitches out oops
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angelonasher · 1 year
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i have an au (another one)
How do people talk about au's they have?
Usually they do it with little art things but art and me aren't cooperating very well- and im also not very good at visualizing details so making visual designs for stuff is kind of very hard for me ;-;
So yeah au its actually the most details for an au ive ever thought of in a short amount of time- i dont know what to name it so giving the general plot and hoping ya'll have some ideas?
Ofc my brain suddenly doesn't know how to explain things okay here you go:
worldbuilding:
So in the general ~world~ there are two "types" of technology, dark tech and clean tech. Dark tech has been banned by the government(s) for various reasons (oh its bad and people can make nukes oh oh evil ai oH the unethical experiments with it that totally weren't done by us oOh DaRk its clearly evil), and while clean tech has a more pristine futuristic vibe, dark tech in much more advanced
Redstone is considered a branch of dark tech, and whether or not its banned/what regulations it has varies from place to place
(The visual vibe of dark tech im not sure how to describe, but this entire au was inspired by the thumbnail of doc's robot battle video so uhm i guess kind of the vibe of the butterfly. It's like. A weird mix of cyberpunk and steampunk, if that makes any sense.)
Some people weren't too happy about the ban, considering many were: sentient/sapient androids and ai's; cyborgs; bionic people with cybernetics that either were essential to their life, would kill them upon removal, or greatly improved their quality of life; organic cyborgs (the term for hybrids such as golems, blazes, etc), or had their entire career on science/tech
So they ran way and made their own city. which, don't get me wrong, is a giant city. lots of connections with other dark-tech places. it definitely has a name. for sure. yeep.
It's made in this mountain where there was a giant crack inside, with houses underground, above ground, in the walls of the crack/cliff-face, above the mountain, and in the sky/towers way above the mountain
The government isn't too happy about this city's existence but because of *ahem* certain people who live there, they leave the place alone.
very summarized plot thing:
Every ten to thirty (haven't decided exactly when) years the [dark-tech city] hosts a competition of skill in technology. robotics, computers, cybernetics, weaponry, the works.
The exact details of the competition differ every time, the details of previous competitions kept vague. but everyone knows you gotta be good with tech to win, and you have to impress the judges with your inventions just to have a chance at competing.
The prize?
No one really knows. but it’s- something. something great. Resources and knowledge and equipment and something that’ll let the winner(s) achieve whatever dreams they may have in that little noggin of their's.
And its coming up soon.
Get creating :)
characters :D :
aka the people who i have a vague idea of their role/personality in this au for. 
“Name they go by” (real name/ what their friends call them) [no paranthesis if they don’t have a fake name]
Grian (unknown): 
An infamous name in the undergrounds, known for his skill in robotics. Never seen in person; appearance and species unknown. He’s rumored to have won the [technology competition] once before, but is entering again.
Npg: 
A little guy who works around Grian’s shop. He’s a sentient android made by his name-sake. His movements are a bit wonky, and he tends to have a goal-driven one-track robotic mindset, but his voice is pretty emotive and he even has synthetic skin!
RG (Robot Grian): 
The latest of Grian’s sentient creations, he has transparent casing to show off his components! His voice is- lacking, but he makes up for it with his realistic movements, “brain,” and expressions. He runs Grian’s shop and tends to be a replacement for the guy whenever he’s wanted/needed in person. He’s a bit more- sarcastic, then Npg.
TV (Impulse):
A prototype cyborg who has a penchant for dark tech. Having a sentient AI living in his head makes him a bit strange, but he’s just a nice guy! His eyes being yellow lets you know he’s the one in control. He’s entering the competition with the hope of being able to build a separate robot body for Skizz.
Skizz:
The sentient AI living in Impulse’s head, technically a cyborg. Look, he didn’t want to be here either. Or sapient. But he is, so he might as well be Impulse’s friend while following his programmed objective of keeping the guy alive. He can communicate through either his screen (that usually displays their left eye), Impulse’s voice, or the speaker on the side of their head. Blue eyes means he’s the one in control.
Tek (Tango):
Little gremlin tech man doing little gremlin tech man things. He’s a cats-folk*, of the that-cat-is-a-spawn-of-hell type. (And he’s proud of it.) He’s best friends with Impulse, Skizz, and Zedaph and is competing as a team with them for the same goal. He’s technically better at robotics than Impulse, but he’d never admit it.
*cats-folk are a strange hybrid mix of feline and some aquatic fish creature. They sometimes contain organic-cyborg features.
Zedaph:
Science man doing sciencey things. Skilled in robotics, redstone, and even code, Zedaph is a close friend of Impulse, Skizz, and Tango. He’s not officially in the competition, but he is helping out when he can. [I wish I had a longer description for him but he’s not that developed yet. Btw this is your sign to go watch Zedaph he’s criminally underrated and his style of videos is unique.]
K. Jumbo (Mumbo):
A newer name in the dark tech business, a mustache man building robots. He’s somehow nailed down making the sentient AI part and mass weapons of destruction, but he’s not that great at actually building the body, and tends to buy parts and instructions from Grian’s shop. He originally joined the competition as a chance to make a name for himself, but has since then teamed up with Scar.
Scar:
Strange man with his strange cat. A bionic human with a penchant for strangely wholesome violence. He’s mastered using and making mechanical crossbows and guns. He doesn’t know a lick of redstone but is pretty skilled at robotics. He joined the competition in hope to find more options for replacing his cyberntic parts, and has since then teamed up with Jumbo. No one knows if Scar is his real name.
Grumbot:
The first sentient AI Mumbo ever (accidentally) made, he lives inside of a communicator. Originally supposed to be a randomized option picker, he enjoys roleplaying, which is something Mumbo still has no idea how it got into his programing. He’s basically Mumbo’s son.
Jrumbot:
The second sentient AI Mumbo ever (accidentally) made. He needs to stop doing that. Also his son.
Sparrow (Owen):
An un-finished prototype cyborg unwillingly a cyborg, skilled in robotics. He has a bit of amnesia, so he can’t actually remember how he became half-robot, but he knows it sucks, given the control the programming has over what he does vs what he actually wants to do. He joined the competition in hope of finding some way to fix himself. (It seems the program is becoming somewhat sapient. That’s bad, right?)
Smajor (Scott):
Owen’s roommate and best (only lol) friend, he has a basic knowledge in robotics/cybernetics. [I haven’t decided what he is but I know he’s not human. Sorry Scott I don’t have more to say about you yet 😞]
Docm77 (Doc):
Creeper-goat-cyborg man. Also part butterfly but that’s (almost) all robotics baybe B) He’s another famous name in the tech space, even more so than Grian. He specializes less in sentient creations and more in world-breaking and physic-denying inventions. He’s intimidating in reputation and appearance but actually a really chill guy who enjoys gardening. Joined the competition because why not, he already has all the supplies he needs. (He may or may not be one of the reasons the government leaves them alone. He is on several watchlists.)
RK (Ren):
Ren-diggity-dog, it’s your local bionic hybrid. He’s part canine but also has a bit of sniffer origin in him. He’s also the owner of the only sniffers in [dark-tech city]. Extinct six-legged creatures are hard to get your hands on, y’know? He’s in the competition on Doc’s team, and although it's somtimes hard to believe, he does have a decent knowledge in robots, specifically cybernetics.
Slabs (Etho):
A famous name in the tech space, the bionic zombie-hybrid that’s actually pretty chill. He’s skilled in robotics, making weapons, and using them. He’s not officially on Doc’s team, but he does help out. He has won before. (He’s not running away from the responsibility of fatherhood if he’s technically their adoptive uncle, stop lying.)
Bdubs:
Loud short teen who sometimes hangs out with the cool redstoner guys. He’s Etho’s sister’s son, not Etho’s. Not at all. It’s just his personality that makes him call him Etho dad. His past-times include sleeping at a very specific time every night, becoming a spawn of hell if his sleep schedule is disturbed, bother watch people doing tech stuff, and brag about his older brother Scar, his mom Cleo,* and his mom’s friends.
*If it's unclear; Cleo and Etho are siblings. Cleo adopted Scar and Bdubs from the streets, who are siblings, and since Etho was living with Cleo at the time, he kind of became their dad, even though he’s technically their uncle. Etho left to live with the cool tech guys in their cool tech tower, and Scar (being an adult) left on his own but often visits Cleo and Bdubs. Bdubs lives with Cleo, but he sometimes hangs out with the cool tech guys in their cool tech tower too.
Martyn:
Funky little dude Ren found hiding in a box somewhere. Not sure how he got up the insanely tall tower, but Ren decided to adopt the guy into the found family jazz they got going on. He’s a bit traumatized, but that’s nothing some good ol’ friendship can’t fix. He’s some sort of bug thing. Cool wings, though.
Cleo:
With zombie genes much more present than her brother’s, Cleo has a name for herself as an amazing seamstress and armor-stand artist. (Armor-stand is a type of robotics art that I just made up.) She somehow deals with her two chaotic sons and her younger brother who still comes to her whenever he needs help. (So much for him being independent.)
Gemini (Gem):
Gem, also known as GeminiSlay, is a bit famous for her fighting skills. Oops. An anterled folk and Cleo’s and Lizzie’s roommate, Gem enjoys picking on Cleo’s brother and consistently beating him in the fighting realm to make sure his ego doesn’t grow too big. Unfortunately, her good heart has her taking pity on the poor souls that are Joel and Jimmy whenever Lizzie is unavailable. (Absolute beggars, those two.)
Shadow Lady (Lizzie):
A curious cats-folk that rooms with Gem and Cleo, Lizzie has the unfortunate fate of knowing Joel and Jimmy. Seeing as she’s one of the very few people that knows them in good relations and Gem only tolerates them half the time, Lizzie usually keeps them from killing themselves, and helps with the inevitable backlash of them doing the stupid thing she told them not to do.
Joel:
Better at what he does than his over-confidence would seem, Joel likes guns. He likes shooting them even more, so he does that. He gets in trouble for stealing and/or destroying stuff, gets Jimmy in trouble because he dragged him into it, and then goes begging to Lizzie for help. It’s a relentless cycle, but he does it, because he’s good at it. And he also gets paid for it. He somehow keeps on meeting tech-people.
Jimmy:
Helps Joel with his heists because Joel claims they’re related somehow and therefore he has to. He can be a bit un-confident or over-confident at times but has a geniunely good aim with guns and mechanical-crossbows. And bombs. Joel’s not allowed to use bombs anymore so he makes Jimmy do it, and then throws a bunch himself. He somehow keeps on meeting the tech people Joel meets.
and uhm i think thats it?
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yellowbluemoonshine · 2 years
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First of all, I want to clarify that I'm not sending an ask trying to bashing Bakugou, however I would like to know your opinion about what his role would be in this ending, since we supposedly entered the final arc a lot has happened and there is still a lot to happen, Toga and Uraraka haven't had their real showdown yet, Touya, Shoto and Endeavor's role isn't done yet and Midoriya and Tomura haven't had a lot of panels focused on themselves yet, but we can see that Horikoshi is leading them to the expected confrontation. However, I still can't see Bakugou's role in all this, taking analysis that says he must have a role in all this saving Tomura, the truth is that such a role is more of a demand seeking to give him prominence than something that It has truly raised the story, beyond the fact that Bakugou's redemption and him learning another way of being a heroe. But even so I can't find his role beyond this, giving him prominence involving him with Tomura is only for the good of his character and his fans who want him to have prominence in the story, I imagine that Horikoshi is going to work the character from the point that he should accept Midoriya's decision to save Tomura, because there is no way that this thought of saving the villain sprouts out of nowhere if we consider that the closest thing we Bakugou understands that it's necessary to save the villains was when he didn't oppose Todoroki's plans, which makes sense since he isn't involved or has personal feelings about Touya, but he has it with Tomura, which is why Bakugou's idea was to fight to kill, since he said it himself, he didn't care if it was AFO or Tomura, it makes no difference to him.
Bakugou's Character Plotline;
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Thanks for the ask anon.
Honestly, i am not really sure how author is gonna add him but one thing we know is he is definitely gonna have important plotline since he is fan favorite and author's favorite.
Before making theories, i want to talk about what i was expecting Bakugou as character ;
1- Bakugou and His Potential as Character;
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I really want story to focus on bullying that happenned in their past but not just Bakugou's part. I wanted story to explore Deku's feeling for his own pain.
Logically, there is no reason Deku to like Bakugou as friend because they were not friends, he bullied him and Bakugou didnt even like Deku, until he had one for all. Their feelings should've explored more. Only explanation can be Deku has stockholm sendrome towards Bakugou which is never really adressed. Same as Shouto who has no reason to be friends with Bakugou. I mean, why would Shouto want to be friends with someone who acts like his abuser? They only get close because those three are the strongest as heroes. I am not saying that they should never be friends but it feels so ooc and forced. Because their friendship isnt earned but forced. They could be friends after Bakugou started working on himself without abusing others, that would be nice. Though, they dont even have to be friends, not everyone has to get along with everyone, thats the thing. And honestly he definitely should be punished and face consequences for his actions, just like any other characters.
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Because Deku clearly felt anger and fear towards Bakugou and he and society is the reason he view himself as worthless and became self destructive but as story goes, most BakuDeku moment focused on Bakugou's feeling and whether Deku just had to accept or endure it. And only thing Deku said about their past is 'You were so cool thats why i chase after you.' And they started working together only Allmight told them to because of 'win to save' and 'save to win'.
Personally, i dont like 'win to save' plotline because only reason a person would prioritize winning against others would be for their ego which is not a good thing. Except if that winning turn into winning against myself to be better version of me, instead of competiting with others, if you race with yourself, thats when you can truly improve. That would be really good lesson for Bakugou and he can be the one who turn toxic competition between heroes to healthy one. That would be amazing.
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Bakugou is gifted child but since he is supposed to learn what he did to Deku and kids like him is wrong, that he shouldnt put himself above on others, maybe he can be the one who would see toxic parts of the system, such as hero community. He doesnt necessarely need a villain foil, he is not part of the 'saving villains' group so adding him there without build is not good and Bakugou already has dark foils. He is parallel with Endeavour, which Bakugou supposed to learn to be better to not turn out like him. He is parallel with Hawks, gifted childs. He is also parallel with Kouta and Koutaro (Deku's relationship with Bakugou is parallel with Tenko's relationship with Koutaro). Since hero society is messed up, even heroes, i really want to see conflict between heroes, especially between kid heroes and adult heroes. Bakugou would be one of the main ones who fight against adult heroes or system.
Those are my general expectations from Bakugou and his character arc. But well, lets focus on what most likely can happen with Bakugou in story.
2- Problem with Writing;
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I think right now main issue with bnha is not just writing with Bakugou but generaly writing hero characters. It seems like author is trying to make them look good person as possible that it ruins their characters because they feel less human, they become more predictable. The only difference between heroes and villains supposed to be just luck. Story showed us many times but it like its all gone.
- Both Bakugou and Deku's character arc is ruined because author didnt explore it properly. Worst part is Bakugou's biggest flaw, his toxicity, his abuse towards Izuku used as humor. And story didnt let Deku to have negative feelings towards Bakugou, its like it erased Deku's anger and what happenned to him and suddenly, they are okay now because they are both heroes who should work together because Allmight said so. This didnt just ruined Deku's character, it also ruined Bakugou's redemption arc because its not earned. Though at least Deku had interesting potential plotline with his saving villains mission while Bakugou doesnt even have that one.
- Not just Deku and Bakugou. At some point, story stopped focusing on corruption of hero society and flaws of heroes. And heroes always win. Deku used to loose almost every fight he had. His biggest flaw is self destruction and he would face conseuences whenever he self desructs but after Overhaul arc, its literally gone. He still doesnt care about himself but story isnt punishing him for it anymore. The way Deku deal with villains seems forced too, the way he empathize with them. It almost like story is trying to say that heroes are always right.
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Bakugou's arc is worse than Deku's because he always win even against Afo, he somehow can fight back and characters in story isnt even allowed to criticise him, he is always right because he is Bakugou.
Class 1 A has no confict between each others. Heroes dont really have confict between each others. They all seem to think same thing and uncontidionally support each others.
Deku, Ochaco and Shouto has a few small panels of talking about wanting to save their villain foil, even though thats the most important thing about their characters and story, we hardly even see what they are thinking and since they dont mention to anyone, they dont even seem to have confict with other heroes. Traitor problem was one of the biggest problem in story but we only get a few chapters, honestly we could get whole arc for it.
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Endeavour's story became 'he wasnt that bad'. Even though, he didnt actively do much as father, story portrays as he did too much. His victim Rei used as readers to sempathize with him with 'he changed because he got me a flower' scene which is horrible. Hawks was one of the most ineteresting characters on hero sides because he was allowed to be dark. Thats what makes his character shine. His relationship with Twice and how dark he was. But after he killed Twice, something about his character just gone because you can tell story is tring to make him look better than he actually is. Not saying that he is bad. It almost like heroes are still heroes so they are not bad, they will always be better than villains, even though being hero is just a job in their world.
-Also there is so many things that didnt explored and adressed, so story's ending here doesnt fit it. It feels like rushing it or maybe, we later will get shippuden style, second part bnha story, idk.
3- What might happen at the end;
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Story portrayed Bakugou's desire to winning (his ego/ambition) as good and heroic thing. Thats most likely why Deku, Ochaco, Shouto, Kirishima and others starts to admiring him and wanting to be friends with him etc etc. Since winning is always core of Bakugou's character, of course, his plotline will focus on that.
He is written to be one of the main characters so he will get big moment, big victory moment that will save everyone, who knows? Maybe, Bakugou will be the one who defeats Afo while Deku, Ochaco and Shouto try to save Shigaraki, Toga and Dabi.
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Bakugou's plotline is also parallel with Endeavour so once again, his character arc might focus on helping Deku so he might support Deku for his decision or try to save him at some point. Maybe he can get some kind of connection with one for all plotline, maybe try to save Deku from self destruction or something.
Bakugou is not part of the 'saving villains' group, there is no set up for him to empathise with them. Especially with Toga, Dabi, Spinner, Twice, Mr Compress. Only progress could be wondering why Shigaraki chose him to kidnap him. Shigaraki gave that speech to him but since Bakugou is the gifted child, he cant relate to 'losers' but he can figure out that villains and heroes are not different because they both are violent in the end. Maybe he can relate to Afo and he might get some epic line.
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I think mainly he will get the big victory moment. Heroes winning will happen with most likely teamwork so Bakugou will be part of it. Thats all can think right now.
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kylejsugarman · 1 year
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hi syd! you mentioned that you’ve won several writing contests (as if that isn’t already obvious from your fics) and i was wondering if you have any tips? finding a good contest, meeting the deadline, catering your submission to the contest and judges, etc? i’m a young writer hoping to win some contests, for scholarship money, college apps, and just. yknow for fun. but i also have adhd, and i have a really hard time finishing projects and meeting deadlines and i guess i was wondering if you have advice for that as another writer with adhd
hey!! so in terms of finding contests, even just researching "writing contests for high schoolers" (im guessing ur in high school based on u saying "college apps", i do not mean high schooler in like a derogatory sense) can usually take u to some helpful directories!! there are a lot of sites these days that will compile contests and applications that u can navigate by deadline/rules. looking to see if institutions in ur city, county, or state offer writing contests is also super helpful: a lot of colleges, professional schools, hospitals, organizations, etc. have these contests and it always looks good if u engage with institutions that are (somewhat) local!! im a really bad source of advice for reaching deadlines because writing is actually the one thing that i dont have trouble meeting deadlines for, but only because when i write something, i write it all at once. this usually means i only write that first draft (which isn't my Advice dfghdfgh), but it also means getting the Hard part over. ur going to feel compelled to like line-by-line write something perfect that everyone will love, but its important to write down Something as soon as possible because there is always time to go back and change things. dont write it with the judges in mind, don't think about like someone hyper-analyzing every word when ur writing things down.
speaking of judges, u do not have to cater ur writing specifically to them, but there are key things to drop in that can improve ur chances. if u are writing for a contest sponsored by a specific entity or associated with a specific institution, u need to do some research and weft some acknowledgement and appreciation into ur writing even if u do not give a fuck about it. try to flip ur prompt on its head. question the prompt in the first line. get meta about it. write about u contemplating the prompt, contemplating ur essay. writing from a different perspective, questioning the prompt, drawing from ur experiences and being vulnerable (people LOVE when u say shit like "i learned that i did not have all the answers. my strength came from asking others for help") will catch their attention and make u stand out. don't be afraid to put a personal flourish in it just because u might not sound Super Professional And Academic. ur trying to make urself stand out and u need to show that through self reflection, dissection of what ur being asked, interrogating ur own experience and bringing that to the table.
so this is kind of vague and basic but my main pieces of advice are find competitions that relate back to ur identity or location or future aspirations, literally just write down whatever comes to mind and do not worry about it being judged when ur working on it, and put urself in ur writing. i know this isnt super helpful, so if u ever want to come off anon and dm me for more help, editing, etc., please dont hesitate!! writing is a really powerful tool and a REALLY good skill to have
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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years
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Have u been feeling uninspired lately?
idk how to explain any of this without feeling like i sound insane so sorry if i do sound crazy.
i am inspired lately!!! it's more like... idk how to explain it. but sometimes i want to be better at writing and its so intense it kind of impedes (?) on my ability to write. i go through this with all of my hobbies actually
im like competitive with myself or something and i get really stuck in a loop of "how can i be better at this?" and it's all i can focus on. but it's not a productive way to actually improve my hobbies. and the only way to break myself out of that is to write something with vibes alone
yan gojo is really testing the extents of that itch i guess. it is always like a warzone every time i see the document. im thinking about every aspect of it so intensely but for me that doesn't produce the kind of results i want
so my feelings with actual writing are all out of sorts. i need to like recenter. so writing stuff that is pure vibes and not perfectionism or my own idea i need to execute on is what im trying to do basically.
idk how other peoples process look but for me producing something good is the result of one thousand less polished version of that thing to get the motions right. that's why i always post drabbles and snippets and otherwise unedited fics. it's like the writers version of sketching for me.
so i guess you could equate me asking for prompts as me asking for sketch ideas. i want to write! but i dont want to make something. i just want to write. if that makes sense
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hangeslefteye · 1 year
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Hey bookie! Im interested in participating in your matchup event🤭
Im fine w any gender! Im one of those people that can fit into any group but im v picky as to who im friends with. Id say im a creative person and enjoy learning and experiencing new things. I LIKE to think im funny, im in theatre so idk what that says about me but whoever im with can expect me to break out into random song or dance. I love spending time outdoors and just overall being out and about. Im a very playful person but i know when and where its time to get serious and focused. Im extremely motivated and put everything i have into anything i do. (Im also extremely competitive 🤗).Im an ambivert, a slytherin, and ISTP, a pisces sun, libra rising, scorpio moon my giving love languages are acts of service and gift giving, and for receiving it is physical touch and quality time :)
Id say my red flags are i get jealous.. and like kind of possessive?? But the thing is i dont do anything about it, i just get passive aggressive.😀! Also i like to do things on my own, so having to let others do things for me is something im working on! My green flags though! Im always looking to improve myself and the people around me, i always have everyone’s best interests at heart and do anything for those i love 🫶🏼
Deal breakers?? Ppl who put me in a box or immediately get an idea of me without knowing me, like its so annoying. Also i just physically cannot deal with people that are slow, id be patient ofc but to a limit! Ppl who are very tense and uptight and refuse to have fun. Also chewing with your mouth open or any excessive noise. I hate it.
AH IM SORRY that was a lot to read, but thank you so much i hope you have a wonderful day/night!!!
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HEYAAAA I'd ship you with Jeann <3
I always imagined him to be with someone funny,playful but also competitive with a strong personality;like you!!! I feel like those are personality traits he'd admire a lot in a s/o. He really needs someone to motivate him and keep him cheerful.
Also he'd really appreciate gift giving -this is one of his main love languages too so you guys can spoil each other greatly- and he's a naturally fun,exciting person that can give you quality time in return.
He's a little bit of a cliche romantic but he'd be ready to do whatever as long as you want to,he's a pleaser when it comes to romantic relationships so you can't actually argue with him on anything.Tho he'd occasionally nag xD
On the other hand Jean is actually very direct so he can sense and break through your passive aggressiveness,he's kindaaa possesive and jealous aswell :D
With the deal breaker Jean is a little...gets to ideas very fast about people but he's fast to chance it aswell.
Lastly,I can imagine Jean having such a pet peeve too xD
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social empires cheat tool download hack P2VV#
💾 ►►► DOWNLOAD FILE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Social Empires hack tool is new tool to a free arcade game for facebook. The player is accident-free car running over the longest possible route. Social Empires Hack Tool Download The Latest Version Of Social Empires Cheat Tool And Get Ahead Of Your Friends And Competition! › /06 › social-empires-cheat-hack-tool-trainer. Defeat your friends using this special compromise tool. You don't need to download anything at all because the compromise like all of our. Free download Social Empires: Battles Hack % working without jailbreak and works on iOS devices - More apps in Panda Helper. Like us to stay up to date with the AskMeFast community and connect with other members. Answered Unanswered. What would you like to ask? Please check and try again. This is NOT abusive. I pressed this button by accident. It is offensive or harmful. It does not contain enough information. It contains or requests illegal information. It does not make sense. Consumer Electronics. Chemistry Engineering Mathematics Physics. Cheat Social Empires. How to download social empires cheat tool without survey? I want to know where can i download social empires cheat tools for free and with no surveys. Ads by Google. This site is best viewed while logged in. Top Solutions. You have to go to a site offering cheats. Add your answer. Anonymous 1. Layers no survey ha haha. Was this answer helpful? Yes No. This answer closely relates to:. Suggested Solutions 10 What's this? Eu naum sei mais tem um programa qu pode te ajudar e o advanced archive password 2. Someone said: qual o nom do programa. Was this comment helpful? There are sites where you can see those chaets and stuff ill search and tell u when i get them. Someone said: does it actualy work do you have to download anything else. Excuse me have you the password for vegas cheat tool for social epieres? Anonymous 0. Please please please give me password for social empires cheat tool v2. Anonymous 4. I got the tool but i didnt get activation key any1 can help plz? Make Google your friend. All answers can be found there. I really dont knoe but a least i wrote something. More information needed, game is for what system? Add Your Answer How to download social empires cheat tool without survey? How to cheat my social Empires on Facebook? How to cheat my social Empires on Facebook. Can you help us by answering one of these related questions? We need your help! Please help us improve our content by removing questions that are essentially the same and merging them into this question. Please tell us which questions below are the same as this one:. Sign In. Register Forgot Password. Ask Your Question Fast! Type your question here. Leader Board What's this? Time: 0. Community Experts online right now. Ask for FREE. Comment Reply Report. Yes No Someone said: qual o nom do programa Was this comment helpful? Yes No Someone said: does it actualy work do you have to download anything else Was this comment helpful? Yes No ram. I want to know where can i download social empires cheat tools for free and with no surveys Post to Facebook Post to Twitter Subscribe me. Copyright askmefast.
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cinebration · 3 years
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Too Young (Forrest Bondurant x Reader) [Request]
I’m fine thank you can I describe my request because there is a no word for this at least i dont know I’m 21 so if you include this in imagine i will be really happy i love forrest bondurant he is shy caring strong and little bit mad giant bear a i want it fluffy and little bit angst I thought forrest wouldn’t want to love younger than him. I hope i can tell what i request because english not my native thank you so much again not much forrest imagine i really love this — Requested by @shooterere
This turned into something more than I expected. I had fun!
Warnings: none
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Gif Source: fandomfatale
Pa operated one of the smaller bootlegging businesses in the county, but the moonshine he made was worth a hundred of the bottles being churned out by other operations in the immediate vicinity. People paid good money for your pa’s moonshine, though you wouldn’t know it to look at you and your family.
You lived in a ramshackle house on the edge of a farm known for producing one good crop for every five. You had just as many siblings, all of them younger than you, racing around the house like demons and driving both you and your beleaguered mother to wits’ end. So when Pa asked you to make a delivery, on account that the oldest of your brothers was a scant fourteen, and the fact that no one would stop you, you leapt at the opportunity. You put on your Sunday best, though it wasn’t much, and drove the old beat-up Ford truck down the country road into town.
It was there you met Forrest Bondurant. He operated the gas station you pulled up to after you delivered the moonshine. The smell of pie wafting from inside the restaurant behind the station was too good to resist.
He sat alone, his hat resting on the table in front of him. Glancing up when you entered, his brow furrowed as you slowly walked through the restaurant and up to the counter. You ordered a slice of the pie and a small cup of coffee, no cream, no sugar.
“This ain’t the watered-downed stuff,” the waitress told you.
“I know.”
The apple pie was thick and rich with apples and cinnamon flavoring. As you sat eating it, you swept your gaze around the room. There weren’t many people inside, but as soon as you fixed on Forrest, all else fell away. He met your eyes levelly, a frown pulling on his mouth. Tucking an errant strand of hair behind your ear nervously, you returned to your meal.
He approached you a moment later, the scrape of his chair back against the wooden floor alerting you to his intentions. You swallowed thickly, working up your courage as your heart fluttered with hope.
“You Frost Farm’s oldest?” The way his voice purred made a shiver roll through you even as disappointment followed it. He wasn’t interested in you, only in who your pa was.
“Yeah,” you answered, looking down.
“What are you doin’ here?”
“Making a delivery.”
“Your pa sends you off to do that yourself?”
“My first time today, but he hurt himself, so I figure I’ll be doing it for some time.”
“How’d he hurt himself?”
“He fell,” you lied.
Forrest’s gaze burned through you. Standing firm, you ate the last of the pie and swigged it down with the dregs of the coffee, the bitter mingling with the sweet down your throat. Excusing yourself, you slipped off the stool and kept yourself from sprinting away to the beat of your thumping heart.
~~
Forrest showed up the next day at the farm. You were out in the field, elbow-deep in the dirt, when the truck engine chugged up the dirt road. You recognized it vaguely as one you had seen parked outside the Bondurant gas station. You didn’t see who exited the vehicle.
Turning back to your work, you yanked out another weed and ignored the beating of the sun overhead.
When your stomach rumbled as the sun reached its zenith, you rubbed off the dirt on your apron and headed back inside for lunch. The truck was still parked outside the house.
As you neared the front door, it opened. You froze in your tracks. Forrest Bondurant stepped across the threshold, bidding your parents goodbye with some mumbled words. He paused when he saw you.
“Mr. Bondurant,” you said, nodding nervously.
He nodded back, putting the hat firmly on his head. His gaze swept over you. You became painfully aware of the dirt across your hands and knees and how it stained your apron and dress.
“I’m taking you for your other deliveries,” he mumbled suddenly. “’Til your pa gets better.”
You blinked in surprise, tried to find words. “Thank you.”
He nodded and stepped past you, leaving you stunned on the porch.
~~
The first few deliveries, made in your truck, not Bondurant’s, passed in awkward silence. You didn’t quite mind it so much, if it weren’t for the fact that being nearly shoulder-to-shoulder with the man was sending your senses quite mad. Not even the Franklin boy from the farm next door had made you as deliciously nervous as Forrest did. Your head swam with it.
But the trips after that improved when you began talking to him. You didn’t say too much, because he seemed too quiet to listen to you ramble on. Rather than complain about your siblings or the lack of help for the farm, you focused instead on the moonshine business.
“I dunno know if Pa told you, but we got into trouble with the law,” you said after a delivery. “They wanted our earnings, but Pa told ’em that we don’t have enough to pay. They broke his leg for that.”
“Were you there?”
“Outside, looking between the slats. I waited ’til they were gone before I went in to help Pa.”
Forrest frowned. “Why were you there?”
“I work the stills.”
He fixed you with a stare.
“It’s nothing,” you assured him. “I like the work, honest. It’s very methodical, and I like that.”
Forrest remained silent for the rest of the drive ’til you neared town.
“Show me,” he said.
You hesitated. “But you’re the competition.”
“I won’t steal your secrets. I just want to see.”
You wanted to show him, to impress him, but the idea of the Bondurants taking over your stills or trying to use your methods nagged at you. The desire to please him won out. You turned the car toward the farm and drove well past it, deep into the woods extending beyond it. Then you hooked a right and stopped the truck.
From there, you walked Forrest all the way down into a small ravine that led to a cave in the hill swelling behind it. The cave smelled cool and a bit damp, but you had remedied that with some techniques to moderate the temperature. Forrest made a circuit of the room, eyeing your still critically as you walked him through parts of your process.
“Figure we could make gin this way eventually, too,” you said, “when they lift the Prohibition.”
He looked at you keenly.
“They’ll do it,” you assured him. “Otherwise we’ll have ourselves another war.”
He grunted noncommittally and took a swig from a nearby bottle, testing the quality of the moonshine. The soft light from the oil lamp you had lit bathed his face in warm golds. Caught up by the vision, you reached out and gently touched his cheek.
He froze, turned woodenly to you. The guarded look in his eyes discouraged you.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.
“You’re too young.”
“I’m twenty-one.”
He shook his head.
Frustration welled up within you. You glanced up at him, your hand clenching into a fist at your side. “Too young. Too female. Too fragile. You sound like every other man I’ve ever talked to.”
He blinked in surprise, taken aback by your sudden emotion.
“I can do more than you think I can, and I’m not that fragile. I’ve had to grow up fast, because Ma’s too weak and Pa’s not got enough boys yet to help him.” You grabbed his hand suddenly, pressed his palm flat against yours. “Feel that? I don’t have soft hands. Those are working hands. When I’m not in the fields, I’m in here, making the best goddamn moonshine in the county. I don’t have time, you see, to waste on being young.”
Forrest stared into your face as the wind died out of you. You turned away, suddenly embarrassed by the outburst. “Get out of my workshop.”
He didn’t even hesitate. He walked right of the cave. You waited fifteen minutes before realizing that it was rude to let him walk all the way back to town on foot. You raced to the truck and drove down the road until you found him lumbering across the dirt. You drew up beside him and wordlessly opened the door. He hesitated before climbing up into the cab.
“Sorry,” you mumbled.
You felt his eyes on you the entire drive, as though he were trying to keep you rooted to the spot. At last, you arrived at the gas station.
“You don’t come with me on deliveries anymore,” you said.
He didn’t get out of the car. “Who else has said those things to you?”
“What things?”
“About you being too weak.”
You shrugged. “Everyone. Probably your own damned brothers, for all I know. ‘Waste of a pretty face, making that girl work the fields. She ought to be providing a family.’ But I like the work. I like working.”
The cab filled with silence as Forrest stared out the windshield at the dark restaurant. Exhaustion settled in your bones from the emotional outburst and the pain of rejection.
“If you worked here,” Forrest said suddenly,” your hands wouldn’t be so rough.”
You frowned. “But I don’t work here.”
“I could get someone to work for your pa on the farm,” he continued in a low rumble. “And you could work here and your workshop.”
“Are you offering me a job?”
He grunted.
“Why?”
He shifted uneasily on the seat. “To keep you around, if you won’t let me make deliveries with you.”
The pieces didn’t quite fit together. “Why would you want to keep me around? I’m too young, you said.”
“I did,” he agreed.
“Then why?”
He fixed his eyes on you with a look that said, Do I really have to say it?
You met his gaze for a long while before slowly nodding, feeling something like hope flutter in your chest again. He nodded back, grunted quietly, and wished you a good night as he climbed out of the car.
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tigerdrop · 4 years
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hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots
i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity
the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)
but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.
gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.
this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.
which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him
this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.
its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.
“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.
gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.
IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.
its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication
also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems
to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.
a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this
ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.
secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.
hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.
finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.
when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.
paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.
thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps
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levithestripper · 3 years
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Hey congrats on 200 that's awesome!. If it's alright could I get an aot matchup please? Pronouns re she/her and I'm bi. I think I would like a romantic matchup. I'm 5,2' with brown hair and brown eyes. My hairs a but choppy cause I ruined it with bleach a while back lol. I have a lean figure cause I workout quite a bit. I dont wear makeup or do my nails but I sometimes like to braid my hair. My style is dark casual I think so like I more ir less wear all black but it like leggings a and jumpers. My personality type is ISTP. I hate the general public and I dont trust easily but with the few people I'm close to I love to laugh and have fun. I'm brave and loyal too and when I'm passionate about something I work hard. However I find it hard to sympathise with people I really dont care about so I can seem kindof cold. My hobbies include figure skating and gymnastics. I used to win medals at competitions. I do roller skating aswell. I improved pretty quickly because of how similar it is to figure skating. My love languages are physical touch and quality time. I would love for someone to want to be around me a lot without getting bored or annoyed. Someone who's fun and would want to adventure with me, spontaneous trips to nowhere. I want someone who's loyal and trustworthy and makes me laugh. I hate people who are ignorant and disrespectful. I think a perfect date for me would be something simple like a walk in the woods or a movie night. somewhere we can be alone together. Like a late night drive or getting a train to somewhere we've never been for the day. I dont like eating out or going shopping it's too busy lol. I love to dance aswell so maybe just listening to our favourite songs and just dancing stupidly sounds like so much fun. hope that's okay :)
Hi! Tysm! @pacificamott
I match you up with-
✩ Annie Leonhart ✩
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Neither of you enjoy hanging out with other people that often, you much prefer each other’s company and I definitely can’t blame you.
You both can share each other’s clothes, since you both have the same fashion sense.
The days you spend cuddled up on the couch together watching tv or sitting at the dining room table and playing board games are some of your favorite memories with her.
She’ll attend all of your gymnastic events and figure skating competitions. She’ll do her best to make sure she knows whats going on and what the judges score your performance on.
For your first date, Annie takes you to a silent movie in the park at night. She lays down a classic red and white checkered blanket and a picnic basket filled to the brim with both of your favorite foods.
You got to choose where the second date was, and you chose the roller rink. You see, Annie can’t roller skate for the life of her. It’s like those cheesy teen romance movies where the man holds onto the woman’s hands so they don’t fall, it’s like that. Annie likes to pretend that she’s not as bad at is as she is.
You and Annie’s relationship is the kind of relationship where you two could be sitting on opposite sides of the room and texting each other memes and be perfectly content.
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offtopicoverload · 4 years
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What do you think the female lis’ families are like? I feel like only the guys talk about their families, with the exception being Talia talking about her parents and brother I don’t think any of the other girls do at all
hi anon thanks for the ask, hope my headcanons make sense
Talia:
pretty nuclear family, an older brother, her mum and her dad
her older brother’s maybe 4 years older or so, not enough that they never saw each other but enough that they didn’t really meet in school or anything
and that’s definitely why she meshes so well with the Jake even though they have like 6 years between them, shes used to the gap and hes really similar to her brother anyway, both goofy but sweet when they need to be
she definitely really close with her mother, i know its mentioned that they look just like each other, but i think that dialogues universal for the S1 LIs
and her mum owns a salon, right?
thats definitely why she takes such good care of her hair, her mother always did when she was little and encouraged it, complimenting her on it and styling it whenever she wanted
and she worked at the salon when she was a teenager and it was summer, working the front desk or cleaning up, sorting products, that sort of thing
its definitely a different story with her dad, hes pretty traditional and didnt take her coming out very well
it ruined things between them for a while and made it hard for her to visit, she only saw her brother at his place and her mother at the salon, but after LI, if shes with MC, he eases up a bit when he sees how happy they are
shes so open about her sexuality, especially on the show, because she doesn’t want any other kids to feel alone, she knows how much it sucked when she was a teenager
if she ends with MC, her mothers there at the finale and just showers MC in compliments and comments about wedding bells to mess with Talia
and her brother loves teaming up with MC and Jake to tease her 
the first time he met Jake, Talia thought they’d get married on the spot cuz they just meshed so well
her dads wary at first, but once its clear that MCs not going anywhere, maybe he catches them talking about him or something and just being vulnerable with each other, which is something Talia never was with him, he starts welcoming MC more, buys her flowers or something the next time they visit and annoys Talia because he didnt get any for her
Allegra:
ive been headcanoning for a while that she has a really big family and an awful relationship with them
her parents got divorced when she was little, maybe 3 or 4, they both remarried, her mom got divorced and remarried again, so she has a ton of half and step siblings, but no full
because there were so many kids in whatever household she was staying in at the time she kinda got lost in the crowd, which is why shes so desperate for attention on the show, she never got any when she was younger
and no matter what happens on the show, her parents dont call her or come to the finale, the only person that says anything is the one step sibling shes close with
they're about the same age, maybe 8 months to a year apart, and were glued to each others side when they were tweens
but they live really far apart and her step sister couldn’t make it to the finale, so they barely see each other which makes them drift apart a bit
if MC runs away with her after the reunion, she gushes to her step sister and they get closer again, to the point that her sister moves in with her for a job a year or two later, maybe right before quarantine if MC doesn’t so they don’t go insane
MC and her sister get on well and always call her Leggy just to watch her get mad, and they’re the only two people that can get her to calm down when shes pissed, her anger being another side effect of being ignored as a kid
the only way she got attention was if she threw a fit, and eventually that frustration just stuck around
but she gets better when she gets closer with her sister again and after the backlash from the show dies down, which it does pretty quickly when her and MC announce their relationship since she was the fan favourite
she never really introduces MC to her family, it just doesn’t make sense to her, but MC drags her along to a few weddings and holiday parties until Allegra’s dad introduces himself to her like its the first time four events in a row
she gives up after that, and Allegra’s perfectly fine with it, she’d rather keep their relationship between them anyway
Marisol
like Talia, she has the same family dynamic - an older brother and her parents
but her brothers only a year older and their relationship is a lot tenser
her dad always encouraged competition between them - if one got a good mark on an exam, the other was expected to match or do even better, if her brother got an award, Marisol was expected to get it a year later, that sort of thing
she doesn’t really talk with her brother outside of formal or family events, there’s still a lot of tension from their teenage years between them, but Marisol’s too proud to admit it, and her brother is too
and she’d never admit it, but the whole reason she’s in law school is because her father wanted her to, and she was just lucky that she enjoyed it
and again, like Talia, her dad didnt take her attempt at coming out well, he just flat out denied it, told her she’d meet a nice guy and settle down, that is what just a phase, all that shit
neither her mother or brother stuck up for her, which pissed her off a bit and just made things worse
her mother was never that involved in her life, never seemed that interested unless she was getting perfect marks and competing in dance competitions
and because she was so focused on her studies and work, she never had many friends and has honestly always seen them as a waste of time
its why she has no problem shitting on Lottie’s girl code, to her it just never made sense
so most of her friends end up being from the show and MCs friends if they’re together, and shes not big on family events, her immediate family isn’t either
but she is really close to her abuela on her mum’s side and an older cousin on her dad’s who’s gay and shes always related to 
she got really excited to introduce MC to them, and her abuela made a whole array of food for Marisol, MC,  and her abuelo and her abuela cooed over MC for ages
her cousin bought them drinks and made them tell him stories from the Villa, and afterwards pulled Marisol aside and told her he was proud and approved of MC and it made her really mushy and she hated it, MC wouldn’t let go that she cried in the cab for ages
her brother and her mother were never particularly rude to MC, but her father definitely was cold and distant and disrespectful
she got pretty pissed after that, telling MC off for ever encouraging to go and shouting about why that kind of thing was the exact reason she kept her distance
her and MC definitely has some issues after that for a while, and she shut her dad out until he gave a halfhearted apology, but her cousin and abuelos helped her feel better about her family situation
Elisa:
her parents aren’t together anymore and her mum had custody of her most of her life, even though she struggled to raise her and her sister
she didnt know her dad that well until she was a in her late teens, but regardless of all the lost time, they still have a good relationship
makeup and art was an escape when she was younger, and even when her mother was exhausted after working multiple shifts, she always encouraged her and helped her improve or just told her she loved it
her mum was her biggest supporter when she started the whole influencer thing, and her favourite thing to spend her money on is things for her family, like flowers for when she visits her mum or a new phone for her younger sister
they’re seven years apart, so she never had that close of a relationship with her when she was young, because what 13 year old wants to hang out with their annoying 6 year old sister
but once she got a bit older she started taking her to the movies and shopping to bond and encouraging her own art
her sister loves music, and even if she cant relate to it directly, she always does her best to support her
she even got kassam to make her sister a mixtape after the show and give some tips on mixing, and if MCs a musician she always asks her to give her sister lessons or something
introducing MC to her whole family all at once was one of her favourite things to do, she took them all to dinner and bought MC a dress and everything
her parents loved MC and laughed at all her jokes, and MC nearly joked on her salad at a story her dad was telling 
and even though her sister was pretty quiet, she told Elisa how much she liked her afterwards
they all start a family game night that is Elisa’s favourite thing to post about all week, and even though her parents haven’t been together since she was 7 or so, they still get on well and now that her dad’s more comfortable being there even though he’s not with her mum, hes more involved in her sisters life
her job and her Elisabees are crazy important to her, but she’d drop all of it for her family, even if she doesn’t seem super sappy
Lottie
shes an only child for sure, but with a few cousins shes decently close with
her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect by any means, but she still gets on with them
they encouraged her art even if they made some odd comments about her being alt that rubbed her the wrong way, but they mean well
there was a couple years where Lottie thought they’d get divorced, because they were arguing about finances cuz her mum went back to school and they lost her income, but when she started working as a nurse they were able to get back on track
her dad’s a bloke and loves sports and cars and all that, but hes also big in horror movies and is the one that introduced her to it
her mum hated all the gore, but her dad would let her watch it with him when she was out of the house
she always goes home for Christmas no matter where shes living, but has her own traditions for New Years and Easter
her aunt and uncle always host a big dinner and her dad drives two hours to get there, and she always spends the drive listening to new music and planning new makeup looks to test out
she has a ton of cousins because each of her parents has 4 siblings, but their ages are all so spread out that shes only close with a few of them and swaps stories from the year with three of them
they all lost their shit over MC when she brought her to their Christmas Eve dinner, hugging her way too much in Lottie’s opinion and telling her as many embarrassing stories as they could think of
her mum spent the car ride there trying to connect with MC, and they actually got on pretty well, but her dad seemed to click with MC even more for whatever reason, giving her a beer when they got back to Lottie’s parent’s house and turning on Lottie’s favourite slasher film for background noise while they talked
her dad made MC swear that she’d come back next year, that they weren’t allowed to trade between MC’s family for Christmas and Lottie’s, and MC agreed with a laugh as Lottie’s head was in her lap, watching the movie
Hannah:
she has a huge traditional family
three older brothers, two older sisters, and a younger brother
she grew up in the country and her mother had horses that she always loved to spend time with cuz i love her but she was 100% a horse girl
her parents never had any problems, were always happy and sappy and that was the only type of relationship she saw growing up, so before Love Island she didn’t really understand that relationships could be bad and how to deal with that
two of her older brothers and both of her sisters are married, her brothers and one sister have kids, again super traditional and happy, which only further reinforced these fairy tale ideals she has
she loves her nieces and nephews, but never felt like an aunt, more of an older cousin for whatever reason
her oldest sibling is her brother, they’re 13 years apart and he has four kids already, hes been married since 21
her oldest sister got married the oldest at 25, and shes always been worried she won’t match up to them, which was a huge motivator to go on Love Island
shes closest with her middle sister, who’s 23 with no kids, but she still has a nice house in the suburbs with a big yard, still crazy nuclear
her whole life has been spent around this type of tradition, and it was really hard for her to break out of it after Love Island
Hannah’s youngest brother is still only 15, and hes a bit of a black sheep - hes alt and dyes his hair and draws tattoos on his arms during school, and she was never close with him before Love Island, but after she comes out as some kind of queer, he comes out as gay and nonbinary(he/they) and they get really close for once
he gets in a fight with their parents when they’re 17, and he runs to Hannah’s place, driving multiple hours to get there and moves in with her after a few weeks
they stay with her until they graduate uni with a degree in education, getting a job at a school and telling all their students that his sister was on Love Island and her girlfriend’s really cool
MC and him are her biggest encouragement to break from the mold her family set, both so her relationship can thrive and to be a good role model for her younger sibling
she struggles with fitting in with her stereotypical family and siblings that all have multiple kids and nice houses, but she still loves her little mishmash of MC, her sibling, and the constant friends that cycle through their flat - Lottie, Priya, Chelsea, Gary sometimes even, Ibrahim once or twice as hes on a golf tour
Lottie loves her sibling and sometimes does makeup for them, and Chelsea always shows up unexpected to hang out with MC and redecorate their house but Hannah hates it because she likes all the memories her clutter has, even if MC calls her a hoarder sometimes
she had so many hand me downs growing up that now she has her own place, she loves filling it with things that are for her and MC and only them and has a really hard time letting go of things, always reasoning that they might give her inspiration to write or something
AJ:
shes an only child too, which made her dad treat her as much like as son as he could
her parents struggled to conceive, so once they used IVF to have her they didnt want to go through it again
her dad was super excited when she was interested in sports and is her biggest fan, always showing up to every single game and driving her to practices before she moved out, though she still doesn’t have a car cuz she hates driving, its too much pressure
her dad would watch games with her and coach her during off seasons, her uncles a football coach and used to get them tickets when he could, sometimes letting her train with his team when she was a teenager
her mum didnt like how hard she pushed herself, but was still supportive of how much she loved it 
her mums a mathematician and always helped her with her homework because she awful at maths, while her dad would try and teach her history or edit papers until her mum had to step in and correct him
when she came out as bi and later gay, they didnt even bat an eye, her mum making her pride color cupcakes and her dad maybe even being excited that he could point out cheerleaders when they were watching games
her mum didn’t quite understand when she wanted to go on Love Island, but her dad thought it’d be a laugh and further enforced her “just have fun” attitude
but her parents are both crazy happy when she wins with MC, making a banner when AJ first brings her home
she thought her dad would crush MC when he started hugging her, and her mum made an entire cake, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and more sweets that she made them take home
her parents always make her and MC come over for dinner on Sundays and she started noticing the extra effort they always went to - her dad actually dressing nice, the house was super clean, the dog always had recently been given a bath
even though she knew her parents supported her, seeing all that really calmed her nerves about bringing home a girl, and made her coming out as a gay a lot easier
MC and her alternate between their family’s for holidays, and her parents each invite their brother and their families every time, and after their third holiday at her parents, they bought her and MC a dog
her and MC definitely have a pretty traditional family life, married after a few years with a nice house, going as far as to adopt a kid or two when AJ stops playing professionally, her parents always closely involved with their grandkids
Disclaimer - I don’t know if Yasmin or Lily make mentions of their family, so I’m just going with what I think
Yasmin:
her mother passed when she was 12, and her and her younger sister were raised by her dad
he wasn’t always the best dad, sometimes he struggled to make time for them with work, or sometimes he struggled to connect with them, but it was never anything too bad
she was always super close to her sister and parented her as she was growing up since they have a 9 year difference between them
her sisters her biggest fan and always makes her send demos and work in progresses so she can listen to them on repeat, and whenever Yasmin writes a song specifically for her she loses her mind
all her friends love Yasmin’s solo music and Enchanted Husband and she brags nonstop
Yasmin figured out she liked girls pretty young, around 10 or so, but only came out when she was 17. she didnt want her sister to ever feel alone or isolated if she ended up being queer too, so she tried to always be open about who she was
her dad sat her down when she bought a pride flag and had her explain everything to him step by step, and he gave her some space for a few days, but then he offered to take her to pride when it came around 
he doesn’t talk about it with her much, and she knows he doesn’t fully understand, but he offers his support whenever he thinks she needs it
her sister absolutely fangirled over MC the first time she met her, hugging her and not letting go until Yasmin nearly pulled her off MC
her dad hugged her too but was far more reserved, hes quieter like her, and tends to keep his distance, whereas her sister has no problem shrieking and making a scene in a train station
later that night her dad pulls her aside and tells her he likes MC and thinks shes a good fit, and her sister has no problem saying how cool MC is, even when shes in the room
her sister and her dad always ask for tickets when shes touring nearby, and MC always offers to take them to dinner before the show, and the three of them get on better than Yasmin expected
she thought her dad might be too distant or her sister too excitable, but even if she’d never say anything, seeing them all get on makes things easier
when her sister gets older and moves out, their dad moves closer to Yasmin, even though he never says exactly why, and there’s a few years where her sister and her are both to busy to meet up, but MC makes them hang out together and then get dinner with their dad when their all in town
MC tends to be her reminder to slow down, and after that dinner she cancels the rest of her tour and takes a two year break in which her sister starts spending weekends at Yas and MCs, their dad visiting often too
Lily:
she has three full brothers and shes the only girl, her parents are divorced and her dad remarried while her mother stayed single
she has a step sister from her dad’s remarriage, but they dont have much in common and didnt grow up together, her parents only split when she was 15
two of her brothers are older than her and her oldest is the one shes closest with, with a gap of 7 years between them
hes an engineer and into cars too, he helped her fix up her first car and helped her pay for college
her youngest brother is only a year below her, but they were never close, he was never that interested in playing in the mud when they were kids
hes an art and english double major and still lives with their dad, hes closer with their step sister than Lily, but there’s no bad blood or anything
her other brother is a middle ground, three years older than her
he’s an accountant and used to drive her around before she could herself, they bonded over a few small mutual interests like a tv show they would binge together and just staring a space together since they shared a room, her younger brother and step sister across the hall
her dad wasn’t crazy active in her life and she doesn’t know her step mother, but her mum worked from home when she was younger and had custody on weekends
she babied her younger brother and always scolded Lily for being a tomboy and it bothered her a lot when she was little, until her older brother started encouraging it
her brothers all love MC, even her youngest, and they all try and bond with her in a different way
sometimes Lily goes home just to find a note that one of her brothers took MC to a movie or dinner or somewhere else, and she wants to be annoyed with them for it, but she likes the validation
she never officially came out, so none of them saying anything or criticizing her is really comforting, knowing that something so trivial doesn’t matter
her mum was a little shocked by the show and MC, but she tries to be polite and eventually comes around, inviting MC to go shopping to bond
her dad has no problem, her step mother being a little confused but not concerned, and her step sister doesn’t care, just nods at MC the first time she meets her
Lily tends to keep her distance from her family, especially when her older brothers find partners and start families, but is fine going to events, sometimes its nice to see her brothers and catch up
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glamfellens · 4 years
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Hello, I really hope this isn't a bother, but I absolutely love your art and I was wondering if you had any advice for beginner artists? Thank you, if you find time for this!
hi!! no problem at all
i know literally everyone says this but the first thing is practice. even if its just a small doodle everyday, i think its important to just try to do a little something. it doesnt have to be perfect
draw inspiration from lots of different sources! ive had a couple of people ask me before how to pin down a “style” and honestly it comes with time. mines been developing for the last ten years or so, and u should take inspiration from as many places as possible. it shouldn’t be just limited to what kind of style you want to create, or envision yourself as creating, because it’ll just end up being a copy of whatever it is you’re looking at i’m not sure that makes sense lol so i’ll use my art as an example. ive been told a few times it has like disney vibes, which i can definitely see, but my biggest inspirations are things like impressionism and 19th century portraiture (think john singer sargent), 1950s magazine and fashion illustrations, earl oliver hurst, charles dana gibson, disney concept art and other artists who’s work ive seen across the internet. i have an art tag on my blog which i put art into that i like or feel inspired by
one of the biggest things that helped me is like...whenever i get super into a series, my biggest examples being inuyasha and dragon age, my art improves drastically because i’m drawing fan art constantly. if u look at my art between feb 2020 and today i think theres a big improvement. or i hope so anyway lmao
life drawing is important, even if your art is less realistic and more cartoonish or exaggerated, its good to get the basics down so u always have a good foundation to work with
i fell out of the habit a while ago but watching speedpaints on youtube is like a fun way to see how other people work. its always good to share ideas and work with friends if they are also artists
since art is so accessible now thanks to the internet its really easy to compare yourself to other people and feel down about your skills if you dont feel like you compare to other artists out there. this is definitely something i need to work on myself but age is unimportant and art isnt a competition, you should try not to see rivalries but inspiration
references!! references references!!! i guarantee anything u draw with a reference will look 100% better. on that note i have seen people claim that tracing isnt helpful but i think it can be. it can give you a basic idea of the shape of whatever it is your drawing. of course, dont trace other artists artwork lol
if you feel yourself getting frustrated with something, just put it down and give yourself a break. it will probably look better when you go back to it, because like most of the time, my art just looks weird to me because ive been staring at it for too long
i dont do this but i know i should... you should start with warm up sketches before launching yourself into a big project or anything. it just helps warm you up
i hope this helps a little, im sorry its not super coherent but its 6am lmfao
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memoriashell · 4 years
Text
with age comes wisdom ( or at the very least, entirely unneccessary celebrations )
Characters /  Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru ( focused ), Syo / Komaru, Warriors of Hope
crossposted on ao3
Notes: happy @tokomaruweek week everyone!! i love these funky wlw so i am going to try and have some stuff up this week, but i probably won’t manage to do the whole week / i'll go back to do the ones i miss afterwards? we’ll see.
for today i decided to combine the birthdays + warriors of hope prompts.
i’m also just ignoring canon’s timeline bc god knows i did not want to figure out that bs sorry dr3 ily but i dont love you that much just know it is somewhere post sdr2 / pre dr3 probably?
i also use they/them for syo ( nonbinary hc ) and while there aren’t any specific trauma mentions, given the group of characters this revolves around, there’s refrences to the fact they have shit lives. and some lighthearted murder jokes and self-deprication?
Summary: nothing says happy birthday quite like babysitting her ( favorite ) group of brats
It’s just her luck that this would happen— a coincidence for sure, but that doesn’t make Touko any happier about the whole thing.
This is the situation: they don’t usually see the ( former ) Warriors of Hope much. The kids stay on their side of Towa, and her and Komaru tend to stick closer to the adults. The adults are the ones that need to be kept under supervision, in her opinion. Not that the kids are blameless, but is there much reasoning with brainwashed kids? No. Of course not. Are the adults also practically brainwashed and hard to reason with. Yes. Would this all be easier if Future Foundation was involved? Yes. Yes it would, but for obvious reasons they are not ( they have all agreed to omit some information from public record for the sake of those involved, and right now Naegi’s stunt with the Remnants have Future Foundation’s attention away from them ).
Sometimes Komaru takes some of the things that they get over to the kids because things are rough enough as it is, and Syo will go with her because they can keep the Monokuma off their tracks better. Or you know, because Syo is generally more helpful to Komaru when it comes to things like that. She’s not jealous.
Allegedly— Touko does not know this for a fact herself since she hadn’t been fronting, and only learns this second hand while she is in the middle of typing up a report to send back to the foundation— Kotoko is the one to bring it up, casually handing off some of her share of the cookies Komaru had made for them, to Jataro. An early birthday present, she had said ( pointedly ignoring Nagisa, who’d pointed out she had given Jataro the ones he hated ), before turning to Komaru to ask if they could throw a party. A small one. With no murder, because that would be ‘totally not adorbs’. And no adults, because they stink ( it goes unsaid that Komaru and Touko themselves are the clear exception to this rule, which is some kind of progress, supposedly ).
That seemed like a fairly reasonable request, according to Komaru, who’s only response was to ask when his birthday was. And then accidentally lets it slip that hey, that’s the week that Touko-chan’s birthday is! And that’s how Touko finds out that apparently, she’s having a joint birthday party with the kids because Masaru managed to turn a party into a competition, somehow? Touko has no clue what that actually entails, because Komaru refuses to elaborate.
( Also, at one point before leaving, Komaru had tried asking Jataro if there was anything she could get him; to which he’d remarked, “A new mask?”
...Yeah, Touko can’t blame her for not knowing what to say to that, even if Komaru had spun it as not the most self-deprecating thing he could have said, which was an improvement? She personally disagrees, but whatever )
Here, she should point out the obvious fact that she does not want to really celebrate her birthday, let alone have a party for it. Because those kind of things lean so far into the zone of things Touko doesn’t really know how to handle, that it makes her close to uncomfortable. And if— if she had humored herself in imagining how she would ideally spend her birthday this year; quite frankly, it would be very quiet and boring and only with Komaru. Not with a group of ten year olds. Ten year olds that she might think of rather fondly, but ten year old brats all the same.
( It’s not like she has any alive friends: if Touko acknowledges the other survivors, justifiably they are too busy with more important matters to fuss over a birthday. They aren’t kids anymore. Some of them hadn’t ever really been like normal kids to begin with, but that’s besides the point )
“Look at the bright side,” She starts, and she bites back a snide what bright side and remark about how that’s all Komaru’s good at ( it’s not. She’s more talented than she gives herself credit for ). “None of you probably have really positive memories when it comes to birthdays or parties, so even if it isn’t the greatest, at least the bar to please should be pretty easy to clear!”
Touko thinks she probably gets the point she is trying to make here, but Komaru’s complete and utter lack of tact doesn’t make for the best delivery. “Are you trying to...to make me feel bad? S-So sorry my life was complete sh-shit growing up.”
“No! That’s not what I meant at all!” Komaru pouts at her. “Does that mean you’re not interested in having a party?”
It’s not like she’s so cold-hearted and selfish that she’s going to say no to that. Well, no, that’s not quite true, Touko might be just that; but it doesn’t really matter either way, because Komaru gives her best kicked dog impression, so she says ( a less than enthusiastic ) no, she doesn’t mind, yes you can have a party; even if she thinks she’ll probably regret that choice.
Okay, if you are to be honest with herself, some part of Touko that never got to be a normal child doesn’t entirely mind the thought of a party, even if it’s...not the most ideal scenario, the impractical fantasy situation that lives in her head. But if she says that aloud, Komaru will either take it too seriously, use it as an excuse to celebrate things more often, or something else that probably has consequences that she doesn’t want to think about. And also admittedly because if she says it aloud, she has to acknowledge it, and maybe she doesn't want to get her hopes up over something as stupid as a party.
( There’s also the fact that, deep in her extremely repressed memories of Hope’s Peak before the tragedy, she does remember parties. Birthdays. Celebrating things with her classmates, if somewhat forcibly so. She has no desire to remember those things, so those feelings remain repressed with most of her trauma )
It’s easy to not acknowledge any of that when she has to deal with the sudden onslaught of a headache that is Syo forcing themselves into their shared headspace, hand rubbing at her temples. Not trying to co-front, she can tell they aren’t trying to snatch control from her ( for now ), just forcing her to pay attention to them. It works, even though Touko has told them to not do this specifically because of how irritating it is for her.
I could scare the kids into cooperating? It’ll save us a headache and a half! Syo offers, maybe too eagerly. Their ideas of scare and cooperate are probably different from her own. Still. She also knows Syo is aware of more than they are letting on, given that they had been present when this conversation had occurred, but she doesn’t think she’ll get much out of them in that regard.
No. Touko tells them firmly. It’ll be counterproductive, Komaru won’t let you do that, and they’re all traumatized enough without you adding to that.
Boo, you sure about that? Consider it a birthday gift from me!
No. She repeats herself sternly, and she feels them withdraw a bit after that. Ugh, Syo hasn’t had a chance to front much recently, now that she thinks about it. Since they usually only take over when she’s in danger, and she hasn’t really been in ( as much ) danger now that things are starting to calm down. Well, relatively speaking. Syo is probably just looking for an excuse to be allowed to front, since it’s probably rough going from being very present to rarely getting the chance to be out: akin to going cold turkey on an addiction. That’s not exactly her fault ( or theirs ), but maybe she’ll ask Komaru if she’d be okay with hanging out with Syo more, if only to placate them a little, before they try something more drastic.
“Everything okay? That was Syo, right?” She hears Komaru ask after a few minutes, and Touko rubs her eyes and blinks. “You looked a little frustrated.”
She considers telling her the truth, but no point in getting her concerned over nothing. She’d like to figure out what she wants to negotiate with Syo firstm so she’ll leave that conversation for another time. “Fine. They just...ugh, just wanted to make sure I was okay with it.”
“And you are okay with it, right? You aren’t agreeing just because I asked?” Touko thinks she begged more than she asked, but she’s pretty sure Komaru will only sulk if she brings that up.
“I wouldn’t let you if, if I was really opposed to it.” Probably. She...trusted Komaru, or something like that, so she figures she’d probably be more honest with herself and not mentally torture herself by putting herself through something she has no interest in. “But...what are you even planning on doing to celebrate? I can’t im-imagine we’ve really got much around here that we can use for a party.”
“Ah. Uhm.” Komaru looks a little embarrassed at that. “About that. I was kind of hoping you and Syo might help pitch in. You don’t mind, right?”
You’re hopeless, she wants to mutter, but—
Yeah!!!! Syo wakes right back up upon being mentioned, no sense of self awareness at all, much to your annoyance, but it’s not like you completely disagree with the feeling that is shared between you two.
“You— You really bit off more than you could chew, hm...? Good thing this wasn’t supposed t-t-to be a surprise.” She quips, leaning over to peer at the paper she’d been making her notes on. “We’ll help, just tell us what we...what we need to do.”
“Thank you, Touko-chan! And Syo too!” Komaru sounds somewhere mixed between grateful and relieved, and casually plants a kiss on her cheek as if it’s no big deal—
She said my name last, so the kiss was for me! She knows Syo is intentionally trying to provoke her and get a rise out of her ( yeah, a rising sense of jealousy ), but puts that aside for the time being because Komaru’s blabbering on like nothing happened.
“I know we probably won’t have the whole day to ourselves to do whatever—” Correctomundo, Dekomaru! “— but I’ll make it up to you on your birthday, okay? We’ll do something that you want.”
“You don't...there’s no need for that.” She forces out between gritted teeth, trying to ignore the flustered feeling in the pit of her stomach, chewing around a fingernail ( what an unattractive sight to follow that ). “Because— ugh, don’t repeat th-this, okay? What I want to do is spend time with...with you. That’s all. So don’t go...you don’t need to go out of your way trying to do s-s-something over the top. Stick to being normal.”
“Really? You’re sure?” Komaru sounds a little uncertain, but happy enough to pull her into a hug, despite her grumbled complaint. “Oh, but Syo has their own birthday, don’t they? So I should probably ask them what they want as well, right?”
“Don’t make me repeat m-myself. It’s embarrassing...” Touko huffs, but lets herself be held against her side, just for a moment. It’s nice, though she won’t admit it ( it is better than any real gift that she could receive ). Syo is kind enough to back off long enough to let her have this moment. “You can ask them later— focus on, on what you need to plan.”
By something short of a miracle, they are able to pull together a party that is not a complete disaster, even if Komaru probably has a point when she says the bar to clear is a pretty low standard for all parties involved. The closest she has to an actual concern is the very narrowly avoided fight that almost breaks out when Masaru and Kotoko fight over which one of them should give their present first— which is apparently the competitive aspect of the party? It’s probably meant to be heartwarming, if it were not such a foreign thing to Touko. Which Nagisa is quick to put an end to: because this is how they would treat Monaca, which is not inherently healthy, and she’s glad that at least one of them can recognize that fact now. Jataro spends the entirety of the fight trying to hide behind her long skirt and, relatable kid, and rubs the top of his head while Komaru tries to both scold them for fighting and appease them because they’re, well. Kids. Who still need to learn some things and have time to unlearn things.
So yeah, it’s a good party— for not being on her actual birthday, she’ll consider it one of the better memories Touko has associated with the day. The start of many, she’d like to hope.
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