#i think more characters need to be fucked up beyond repair

[bread-that-draws]

Flowey’s so funny and has me so fucked up like he’s a talking flower. He tries to kill you upon your first interaction. He is ten years old. He is damaged beyond repair. He’s a flower named Flowey. He’s become friends with every single character. He’s killed all of them countless times. He knows everything about everyone. He doesn’t care anymore. He takes care of his mom when she can’t take care of herself. He’s killed her before. He doesn’t care if you kill her. He thinks she’s trying to replace him. He just wants to be himself again. He wants to destroy everything. He hates you. You’re the only one who understands him. He wants his best friend back. He’s terrified of them. He believes in kill or be killed because he died by giving mercy to the wrong person. He believes himself to be the wrong person. He doesn’t understand when you show him that kindness he showed others, even when you know he could kill you for it. He’s tried every route. He asks you if you have anything better to do when you try to do the same. He’s a direct reflection of the player. He’s a fucking talking flower named flowey and his only voice line is by Ronald McDonald and his officially licensed plush does a little dance for you

[devondeal]

Long Chaggie rant ahead

I think a reason Chaggie get called "boring" is that they are waayyy past that beginning stage of their relationship TV love to glamorize.

They've been together for three years and already have that comfort level with each other that not everything is a new discovery. They accept each other's differences and just support. That's what a well established relationship is like.

Of course they are still heavily affectionate and loving with each other because duh, they're in love. Society loves to repeat the bullshit "losing the spark" problem in relationships and how "marriage is so hard" but most of these situations are people that barely even like each other let alone love.

I think that's why media loves showing either beginning stage relationships OR trope-y enemies to lovers and variants of that.

ESPECIALLY in the case of queer relationships because it's only fairly recently that it's been normalized onscreen and I don't think we're used to seeing a normal queer relationship. Like think about it.

Media has always loved showing the gays as deviant and toxic because that's been the only way it was allowed to be seen. I think many of us have gotten used to seeing ourselves that way that it's been normalized.

Personally, I'm in the boat of I'm sick being seen as deviant and like it's bad and wrong thing to be in love with someone of the same sex. For me, Chaggie has been healing because it's just two women being a healthy happy couple. Something that society and even family have told me is not possible which hurts beyond words to hear.

So yeah, I love Chaggie. It is the best wlw canon ship in fucking YEARS and I have been craving representation like this. The very things that I get dirty looks at for irl, is completely normal with Chaggie.

They can hold hands, lean in together arm around shoulder, quick casual kisses in public, give each other goo-goo eyes, just general affection and couple-y behavior as well as the "been together for 3 years" quirks and routines. Like I swear I cannot remember any other wlw ship like this so yeah, it's gonna hit me hard in the feels.

And when characters like Lute and Adam are disgusted or fetishize it, it's very obviously portrayed as villainous behavior. Everyone else just accepts them as they are.

Of course it's not just the normalization of those things but specifically in the context of they've been together for 3 years and are still very much in love and have nothing to prove to each other and just face any conflicts as they come like a normal couple.

Most media especially TV have gay couples break up after that amount of time just for drama points and cuz us gays cant ever last in a long term relationship apparently 😒 And I feel like that especially goes for lesbian relationships on TV. I've seen wayyy more long terms mlm relationships than wlw in main roles.

(Wonder if that's cuz it's just so unbelievable that women could actually love each other cuz society just is so attached to the idea that all women hate each other)

Basically fuck Chaggie hate. We need more wlw long term relationships like this onscreen. I'm tired of being seen as deviant and likely to be toxic. And I'm not saying they need to be perfect. They're obviously not and have some issues but that's a good thing. Every couple has issues.

I'm just saying not all gay onscreen need to almost destroy their relationship in order to repair it.

I just really find it incredibly annoying that some will slap the "boring" label on Chaggie when it's more likely that a long term healthy happy wlw relationship is just that bizarre to them. Just let women actually love women for fuck's sake.

[ourflagmeansheartbreak]

Okay and another rant

Yes about Izzy

Yes again

Because yes it’s important

The crew giving him a leg was so fucking meaningful to the short man he literally cried.

Izzy always loved and cared for people in his own way. How many times has he made Ed take his anger on him instead of them? He got his toes cut off and I really don’t think it was just because he’s so desperately in love with Edward as everyone makes it out to be; at some point you realise he was doing damage control and taking it on himself. Because he blames himself for everything that happened. And he doesn’t deserve that because both of them are supposed to be held responsible for THEIR actions but that’s another rant.

So when they’re finally safe, he absolutely lets himself go. He yells and drinks non stop and curses at everyone essentially trying to push everyone away and… probably just end it here.

But they don’t fucking let it happen. They see the pain, they see what he has done for them, they care. They do the makeshift leg and writes a stupid note and leaves it near his doors as he yells for everyone to go away. Because at this point he blames himself so much that he won’t risk trying and still being unlovable.

And he sees that. That small kind gesture. And something in him doesn’t want to believe it; he has been nothing but insane to them and that’s how they repay? By giving him space and giving him gifts? And he cries. He’s so shocked he covers his fucking mouth.

He accepts it and keeps it, and most importantly, he keeps the fucking note. And reads it to himself. And smiles. Because it’s proof someone cares. Just a little bit. Because it’s proof he’s not completely unlovable. Because someone cares, they cares, they cared enough for this, they cared, they cared, god they cared for him oh my god they cared for him.

That small gesture of kindness was so powerful to him he stops drinking. He pulls himself up. Starts training again. Hanging out on the deck. Wood carving. Talks to people. Talks to Lucius. Helps Stede. Gives Lucius the little sharky/dolphin (I couldn’t get a good look what that exactly was). He essentially is spending his time trying to repay for the kindness he received; in his own little silly ways but my god is he trying, so hard, every single day.

Don’t tell me Izzy is beyond repair. Don’t tell me he deserved it. Don’t tell me that.

You don’t become a pirate at 16 and not see some shit go down. Not be in a middle of the shit going down. Not learn how to shut down and be “the pirate” that you’re expected to be.

If you think Edward deserves redemption for everything that he has done, so does Izzy. You can’t pick a side and just claim that oh Eddie is a babygirl who just needs some love and then turn around to say Izzy deserved everything and more. The two faced hypocrisy is ridiculous. They are both grown ass men and they both should be held responsible for their own actions, and they both deserve love and kindness and both are capable of redemption.

Don’t tell me Izzy doesn’t. Don’t tell me. That simply isn’t true.

And the truth is rarely simple as they both are dynamic characters with complex personalities. And I wish, I really fucking do, for BOTH of them to go through healing process and both of them to emerge victorious.

[froggyphycosis]

Sleepless nights and something handcrafted

Fic based on a headcannon by @turtleblogatlast which is here (might contain spoilers so I'll link it at the end aswell if you want to read it after)

Summary

Pretty much all of Leo's comics are destroyed from the Kraang and Shredder so he has to read them all digitally. Mikey finds out and does somthing about it.

5899 words

Uhhhhh tw's and cw's real qiuck

Swearing

panic attacks

Nightmares

Implied/refferences to death (in a dream though nothing serious or majorly descriptive)

And characters being in pain

Eughhhh that sounds bad but I swear this fic is hurt/COMFORT so

(if there's anything in forgetting to tag let me know please!!)

______________________________

It's quiet, and calm.

Its reached that rare lull in the lair where everyone is off to do there own thing peacfully without another brother to cause chaos or niose along with them.

And suddenly, (and not at all surprisingly) Mikey finds himself bored, lying in his hammock and to tired to do anything and lonely without the immediate proximity to one of his older brothers.

It's an achievement if anything, it's the first time since the invasion that there hasn't been anything to do, no medical checkups to take care of, no panic attacks to be had... Just peace.

No one is actively dying, the chores are done, hes already cooked dinner (dad had even joined them aswell! He'd been doing that more often since the invasion, it warmed Mikey up a little on the inside he liked it when dad ate dinner with them and secretly hopes he keeps doing it).

So what does Mikey do then? he already knows he's gonna seek out one of his brothers, but who....

Well Donnie is busy in his lab right now using really loud machinery, and as much as Mikey *loves* sitting and drawing in the lab with him, it would be to loud to concentrate on anything.

He could go and hangout with Raph.... but he's training, trying incredibly hard to acclimate to the lack of sight in his right eye, and Mikey doesn't want to interrupt that.

So that means.... he can hang out with Leo!

Great! The portal duo for the win! He thinks triumphantly. Mikey can't think of anything that Leo could be doing right now. He knows that Leo isn't out with Usagi, since he went out with him before dinner, and he probably wouldn't have gone to April's without texting the group chat first...

So he's definitely free!

Mikey hops up from his hammock with more excitement than is probably necessary, and skips his way to Leo's room.

"LEO!" he shouts, slamming the door open with his foot, and happily watching as Leo jumps out of his shell.

"FU-JESUS Mike what in the all living HELL do you want??"

"Company!"

"The fuck do you mean company??"

"I'm like, reaaaaaaaaal bored right now, so I need a sibling to fill that void! And I'm obviously picking you!" he doesn't move from where he's standing, because if Leo is actually doing something he doesn't want to be interrupted from, Mikey will leave.

But just as he thought, (and maybe kind of planned) Leo rolls his eyes affectionately, switches his tablet to one hand and holds out his arm, Mikey doesn't need anymore encouragement than that, he dives into the bed and cuddles himself right up into Leos side.

"Sooooooo what'cha doin?"

"Reading comics," he snorts.

Mikey pauses, looking around the bed,"What where? thought you were doing somthing with your tablet?"

"Yeah I was I'm reading them on digital." Leo lifts up the screen, and holds it out in front of him, Mikey can see the grainy image of one of Leo's favourite JJ comics. "they all got destroyed remember? And I couldn't buy them so I just read them on here."

Mikey's stomach drops.

Oh crap, he had completely forgotten most of Leos comics were *destroyed*. He glances over at the corner of the room, where sure enough, a heap of his old comics were laying in a pile, destroyed beyond repair.

"Oh Leo.... I am so sorry, I had completely forgotten about your comics that must be awful," Mikey sinks a little feeling bad for even having come into the room now "sorry for bringing it up."

"W-what Mike's it's fine it doesn't even matter! I'm not upset really!" Leo looks midly shocked and a little guilty, which is stupid because Mikey brought it up.

He chucks the tablet to the side nonchalantly, rolling his eyes "Its fine! I don't even really read comics that much anymore ya know??" he smiles nervously.

Yeah, because you don't have any, is what Mikey wants to say, but he very patiently keeps his mouth shut.

Mikey knows he's lying, he can see it, he's far more perceptive than his brothers are. He can see the way Leo's eyes get a little bit shinier,the way his brow creases and he avoids Mikey's eye contact like it's the plague.

And the box turtle's heart sinks.

It's not okay, *it's not*, all of his old comics that are still intact enough to keep, but not enough to read, are piled up in the corner, a constant reminder of lost childhood.

It makes *Mikey* want to cry looking at it, he can't imagine what it must feel like for Leo to look at it every night.

Mikey doesn't push Leo on the subject, they end up going to play animal crossing with Dee instead but it doesn't leave Mikey's head for an instant, bugging him like and itch at the back of his skill that he can't itch.

He's going to find a way to fix this, even if he has to walk across a mile of broken glass to do so.

________________________________

Mikey doesn't sleep that night, even if his body is exhausted, (even months later his body still feels drained from opening that portal).

He probably shouldn't be awake, they did all agree on set sleeping times, or at least lying-down-and-trying-to sleep-times the name was a work in progress.

And he might be a little hypocritical for not following that since it was his idea-But! In his defense, he was on an important mission! So it was like totally 100% fine.

He was trying to find copies of jupiter Jim comics for Leo, because he was obviously sad about it, even though he wouldn't admit it. And Mikey was *officially*, the worst little brother in the entire whole wide universe, if he'd didn't *try* and do somthing about it.

So that's what he was doing obviously.

Leo was the bravest person he knew. He had been through hell and back for his family, and even the world, for people he didn't know.

He was an incredible big brother, and leader, and Mikey decided this was his way to give back just a fraction of that kindness in return.

Then again.... the universe seemed pretty against him right now, blessing him with the lack of any physical copies, of any kind of jj comics, on the entire internet.

Mikey spent the whole night, scouring the internet, and using every website he could think of to find them, but alas, not a trace. Dammit, why couldn't dad have found really well known dvds and comics thrown away in the sewers for Leo's and Donnie's birthday? This situation would have been so much easier.

Maybe like Harry Potter, or something, he wonders how much different their life would be if that ever happened, maybe Dee would've believed in magic sooner. (he makes himself snort with that one).

It takes him 5 hours before he finally stops and decides to throw in the towel, he's going to have to quit, there isn't anything anywhere. Which just sucks, because Mikey hates losing, and hates giving up on anything even more, but he closes the laptop down anyway with a sigh, and shuffles down into a more comfortable position.

He glances at the clock across the room, and eughh boyyy.... Well it's 7 o'clock, so he's going to have to get up in 10 minutes to make breakfast.

He stayed awake all night.

Whoops.

Stupid vintage comics he thinks darkly.

He'll have to go up topside to try and find some in a comic book shop tommorow he thinks as he finally let's his exhaustion give in and closes his eyes.

_____________________________

"UGHHHHHHHH," Mikey groaned loudly, dropping the comics in his now 5 fingered hands. His loud outburst garnering several odd looks from the staff and other shoppers in the store.

"April they have to be somwhere right??"

Casey and April both glanced at eachother, and then over at him sympathetically.

"Look Mikey..." April starts, before CJ pipes up next to her, having resumed flicking through the comics.

"Mikey, we have been to almost every comic shop in new York, big and small i mean this as politghtly as possible, I don't think we can get Leo's comics back." he looks at Mikey softly, "I'm sure he would appreciate the effort though."

He couldn't help but diflate at that, he's failed *again*, he's failed Leo....

April walked around the box, and pulled him into a hug that he happily buried himself into, and Casey, in a rare show of public affection, joins aswell.

But when he finally pulls apart and swipes an orange sleeve over his eyes, he suddenly gets a plan so cool, so ultimately awsome and incredibly smart that even *Leo* would be jealous.

"Okay, guys, I think i know what i need to do," he looked up at April and gave her the most mischievous grin he could offer "I think we're gonna need to take a trip to the art store."

"ohhohohohono what does that look mean?? What are you up to?" she squinted at him hands planted on hips

"hush now april," Casey places a hand on her shoulder, and the other on his heart "that look can only mean great things," he grinned "so Mikes where we heading?"

______________________________

Leo hopped across the platform over to Mike's train cart, his leg was acting up today much to his own dismay, not so bad to tell anyone though.... Just bad enough that walking was a little inconvenient, he probably didn't need any meds to be honest, he should be fine.

He gets to the door of the train cart and slams it to the side as hard as he can, (payback for the other day) it bangs when it hits the frame.

"Ohhhhhh Miguelllll!!!"

He gets sight of Mikey staring at his tablet, (it's almost a mirror of April without her glasses Leo thinks with a smile) before he slams his sketchbook closed, and shoves everything within arms reach off his desk, Leo has already been there a few seconds watching this unfold.

Okayyyy....That was....Odd...

"ohhhhhh hey Leoooo...," Mikey smiled nervously, hands tapping against his plastron. It's a stim he's had since was a tot, "so ummmm what are you doing in my room?"

"nothinnnnng.... So what were you drawing?" he glanced down at the sketchbook that had been shoved on the floor, still open, he could only make out the faint sketches of boxes and nothing else, before Mikey slammed it shut and held it to his chest.

"N-nothing," his little brothers face doesn't look caught anymore, it looks worried now, and that face twists somthing in Leo's stomach.

"wait, shit, Mikey have your hands been acting up again??" oh fuck oh no "Mikes we talked about this, if they start hurting you have to tell somone even if you don't think it feels that bad."

He feels a switch go off on his brain the second he thinks Mikey is hurt and everything else goes out the back window.

His little brother has a tendency to fix things, not in the way that Donnie does, with his intellect and his smarts, with nuts and bolts and tech and limitless knowledge.

Mikey fixes sadness, and hurt, he comforts and loves with a single minded focus that leaves anyone in its wake absolutely astonished at how plentiful and sincere it is.

No matter who it is, where it is, or when it is, if it's broken he'll fix it.

But he will *always* leave himself behind.

Its not intentional, he doesn't mean to, he'd take care of himself if he realized. But once Mikey has his mind made up? Its done. He'll get it done no matter what, leaving him to forget about himself.

He's lucky enough to have a family that recognises it, and help before it gets to bad.

"What no my hands are fine Leo seriously!"

"yeah Mikey, maybe so, but I'm still gonna take a look now put 'em out ."

Mikey doesn't retaliate, just takes his wraps off exasperatedly and lays his hands out for Leo to see.

He doesn't react when Leo softly presses down on the scars, and bends his finger and elbow joints gently so they probably weren't hurting.... And the shakes are small and unnoticeable unless you look hard.

So Mikey is fine.

Then why was he so jumpy before???

"hows your leg doing Leo?"

Leo's head snaps up to meet Mikey's gaze, feeling to shocked by sudden line of questioning to actually answer immediately.

"o-oh uhm my leg is fine Mikey, thanks for asking."

He feels the tension drain out of him now that he's sure Mikey isn't hurt, he looks fine, if a bit panicky, and Leo is starting to wonder what kind of secret he's hiding in his sketchbook. The blackmail opportunities could be unreal....

He's *definitely* trying to cover something up, now Leo *can* just outright say that he knows that, but watching Mikey try, and fail, to lie about it, would be waaaaay funnier.

"OH really.....?" Leo stares him dead in the face even though its not being returned at all "so if your hands aren't hurting, why won't you show me your art? what kind of things were you drawing exactly..?"

Mikey squeaks, and his face dips into his shell a little before popping out again fully, to yell "U-UH ITS TUPER SOP SECRET!!!"

Damn, Dontron probably heard that from his maximum security sound proofed lab, *and* with full volume music blasting through his headphones.

"awww come on, please tell me, please please please please!!" he clasps his hands together and makes what he hopes are decent puppy dog eyes.

His little brother doesn't answer him, instead he sinks down further in his shell.

"Mmmmmnnno, and you still haven't told me why you were in here either?"

Its probably the most awful attempt Leo has ever seen at changing the subject, but he takes pity on his brother and decides to go along with it anyway.

"Nothing really I was just bored and wanted to see if you wanted to come and play Mario kart with me?" he grins "you do owe me for the entertainment I provided you with the other day."

The box turtle visibly perks up at this face now fully visible.

"omigosh!! yes! absolutely! I would love to!!" he threw hi sketchbook behind him, and hopped off his chair "lead the way Leon!!"

Leo couldnt help the laugh that sputtered out of him. How Mikey could go from dying of fear, to sunshine and smiles in such a short time was beyond him.

"yeah yeah alright, would you mind giving me a hand though? my leg is kinda sore today."

Mikey swings round and looks at him accusingly "I thought you said it was fine??"

Oh shit yeah.

"Y-yeah it is!! its just a little sore, promise, now come on give me a hand you goof."

Mikey rolls his eyes, but can't help the grin that over takes his face and agreeably lends Leo his shoulder.

He won't bother Mike about whatever he's hiding, Leo may be crazy curious, but he knows that if Mikey does anything to dumb or to stupid, he's got him to rely on and go to when he's in need of help, so Leo feels comfortable in letting him hide whatever it is he's hiding, plus he thinks he'd know if it was somthing bad.

____________________________

It was roughly around 3am, and the little sleep Leo got these days was unfortunately interrupted yet again with another nightmare, another dream about the Kraang again, but this time it was concentrated on *Mikey*.

His mind kept playing a loop of the exact moment when Mikey left-when he was gone, gone gone gone gone gone, went cold in Leos arms and, and-Leo woke up. Drenched in his own sweat, hot and frozen at the same time, still stuck in the position he fell asleep in. Unable to move, it took him an eternity before his *useless* muscles finally dragged themselves upright and out of his bed.

He was sprinting towards Mikey's dimly lit glittery train cart before he even realized he was doing it. Chest heaving, and the ache in his leg only second hand awareness at best.

Warm orange light was pouring out of the cart, and the smell of that citrus diffuser his baby brother always insisted on using was so subtle, but so overwhelmingly comforting, that it sort of makes Leo want to cry.

The lights being on must me he's awake then, and Leo thanks pizza supreme in the sky, because waking up his brothers from the little sleep they got nowadays felt awful. And doing it to Mikey always felt the worst, because that was his little brother he was waking up, and for his own stupid needs too.

Stupid. stupid. stupid. Stupid.

He slides open the door as quietly as he can,his eyes taking a minute to adjust.

Mikey is passed out on the floor, pens pencils, headphones and other art supplies scattered around him and it makes his heart momentarily jump into his throat seeing he's not awake-not alive *not moving*. He snaps out of the spiral quickly though and realizes he needs to calm down right now or he's gonna pass out.

Having a panic attack in his little brothers room is not the most optimal place to do so, so the slider takes a minute to compose his frenzied nerves realizing how worse it's gotten since he woke up. So sitting next to his *sleeping* brother, he breathes in and out in slow even breathes, in the way they all learnt to, it was almost muscle memory by now.

Ha, if only it was that easy to actually calm down.

Leo stands up joints creaking and leg whining in the protest, oh right, he ran here, that's gonna hurt like a bitch tommorow he just knows it.

Picking Mikey up is usually no problem, hes small and lightweight compared to his brothers, but with his shaking arms and tired body, (that's currently down a leg) the task is almost monumental, and he feels out of breathe by the time he's dumped the box turtle into his hammock.

He can still hear soft music playing from Mikey's headphones and he picks them up and listens to it. His mind is still groggy from all the running and panicking, so it takes a second to realize whats playing.

Oh! It's Mr sunshine! Ha, he's so good.

Oh, wait. it's Mr sunshine. maybe they should talk about that later...

He turns the headphones off and puts it on his desk along with his pens, pencils, rubbers, rulers-who needs four rulers?? Where did he even get this all from?who needs this many art supplies and aren't half of these markers dried out anyway??

He can't even be bothered to ask right now, he unceremoniously dumps all of it back on the desk without further question, he picks up Mikey's phone, hoping that he was just listening to music and not staring at that it, would be awful for his eyes. But when he picks it up however he's not greeted with music, but a comic book. And not just any comic book, he notices belatedly,but his favourite.

Jupiter Jim and the eight giant dragons of evil why would he be reading that?

Leo blinks a few times, a bit confused to say the least, before he finally glances down at the sketchbook in his hands.

And sees and exact replica of the page but in pencil.

And then it clicks. everything clicks.

holy shit, Mikey is trying to recreate his favourite comic book. But there's no way??

Now Leo doesn't know much about art, he half listens to info dumps about trashy a.i art, and the hatred that Mikey has for wearing gas masks (against solid protests from himself, Raph and Donnie to do so otherwise

But Leo knows that making a comic book is *hard*, harder and more time consuming that it has any right to be, even for a good artist like Mikey-and he would know! He tried making his own when he was like 12 only to get frustrated an angry 2 minutes in, and quit (he hasn't tried since).

And secondly, how did he even realize he had wanted the real version of a comic anyway? He hadn't *asked* for one, hadn't hinted at wanting it. He swore Mikey was actually a fucking mind reader sometimes, maybe this was just another "mystic warrior thing" he doesn't get.

And then, the sudden, very violent urge to cry swamps him. Even if Mikey never finishes this project never gives it to him, he still *wanted* to.

The fact is, that Mikey, with injured arms, and a hundred other more intersting and wonderful projects more worth his time, is going to attempt to make a comic for *him* and it sort of makes Leo want to cry. It *does* make him cry.

He holds the sketchbook close to his plastron and let's the tears slip down his face. He doenst know what he'd do without his family, without Mikey, he doesn't know what he's Done to deserve the endless patience and comfort that his brothers provide.

He leaves after a minute or two, when the tears on his face stop flowing, leaving sticky trails down his face, and his breathing is no longer raggid from the crying. He leaves the sketchbook and phone where they are, closed and turned off.

Hopefully Mikey will think it was another brother that came in and fixed this all up for him. Or maybe he'll simply belive he cleaned up and put himself to bed and just doesn't remember.

"goodnight little brother, get a good rest."

_____~roughly 2 weeks later~________

Mikey took a deep breathe in, and a deep breathe out. His head was starting to ache from lying it down on his desk for so long, he had decided to take a short break from drawing Leo's comic a while ago, much to his disdain. Although he can't say specifically, since everything in his head feels like molasses, and he's to busy concentrating on the never ending pain in his hands to think about it for to long.

It feels almost nauseating. His body thrumming uncomfortable, the itchy, fiery energy getting stronger, hands shaking more fiercely until it reaches its peak, and his while body seizes up and let's go.

(Its his own fault, this doesn't happen unless he pushes himself to hard. Apparently 6 hours straight of art is not good for you.

Noted.)

He *wants* to pick his head up, he *wants* to carry on drawing, he *wants* to be able to do this for Leo, but he just *can't*. He's useless, his own body is betraying itself, consuming itself in and endless mystic well of power that it itself created, and Mikey can't do anything but sit here and whimper in the dark.

He feels pathetic, he doesn't even know how long it will last. The longest period was 6 hours, which is the closest to living hell he's ever been, beside watching Leo throw himself into the prison dimention, followed closely in second by opening the actual portal itself.

He can't even move enough to grab his phone and call his brothers, he can't scream or talk. So he sits there, and cries and sobs and hiccups openly, and loudly, praying that *someone* will hear him. Thankfully but no sooner than he had started crying, had the small sliver of light coming through his door begun to get bigger, and his train cart door began to open.

".... Angelo?."

It was donnie.

*Thank god.*

His voice was still failing him, unable to speak but overwhelmed with the desire to say *something*, he just cried harder.

"woah woah woah! Okay okay Angelo I'm right here okay? Your safe, your fine." he crouched down by the desk so he was closer to Mikey's face "I'm... I'm gonna pick you up now okay Angleo? If I end up hurting you in any way just uh chirp okay?"

Donnie put an arm underneath his legs and shell, and lifted him up into a bridal carry, pausing slightly to listen for the sound of Mikey's distressed chirp, before continuing forward towards his door. Mikey slumps and closes his eyes, pressing his warm face into Donnie's cool arm. He let's out a sigh of content, no longer cramped from being stuck in a stiff and awkward position, for who knows how long.

Donnie sighs,in that long suffering kind of way he always does when his family has done something stupid, but Mikey doesn't bother to open his eyes to see what face he makes.

Mikey thinks he must have fallen asleep at some point, because when he's next aware, he's being handed off to a very worried looking Raph.

"hey big man sorry to wake you up, you can carry on cuddling with Dee in a minute he just needs to do somthing okay?" Raph is smiling down at him and holds him just a little tighter.

Mikey nods, and rubs his eyes turning his head so he can look at the scene in front of him, (his hands barely even hurt anymore, maybe they rubbed that special cream that Draxum made on them) they're in the TV room now, illuminated by the projection screen paused hlaf way through on one of Leo's favourite movies, him and Donnie are placing various pillows and blankets on the floor.

Leo is whispering something to his twin in a frantic, worried, hushed tone that Mikey is to tired to parse right now.

But Donnie looks at Mikey for a fraction of a second, before rolling his eyes affectionately and placing down the last of the pillows, (they were probably talking about him, he hopes he isn't barred from making breakfast tommorow though, he wanted to make omelettes) huffing, when Raph unceremoniously flops down on top of them shell first, Mikey still being held against his plastron. Raph opens up his arms and Leo snuggles right up beside him, whilst Donnie snuggles into Raph's other side.

Mikey can feel himself start to drift off into comfortable sleep again, when he feels a familiar finger rudely poke him in the face. He opens his eyes just barely to see a familiar blue mask and worried brown eyes peering back at him.

"sorry mi hermano this'll be quick, I promise, what were you doing that caused your arms to flare up so badly?"

Mikey feels annoyed that he's being kept up for this but sighs and concedes "mmmmm I was drawing for a really long time.... and i didn't take any breaks..." he mumbles, shutting his eyes again, falling faster into darkness this time.

"oh....." Leo sighs softly "your to nice for you own good little brother..." Mikey barely even registers his brother's voice anymore, to busy falling asleep to even notice it.

_________________________________

Mikey grins and closes the comic book, he holds it out in front of him looking at all his hard work.

Its done. It's finally done. It took him a month of non stop drawing almost every day to do it.

But he did it.

He puts the Comic down, just to spin around his room and kick his legs, orange flecks of mystic trailing behind his flapping arms.

__________________________

"Oh Leoooooooo~," he sang, sliding into the living room hiding the comic behind his back, and directly away from the view of his older brother "guess what."

"What?"

"I said guess."

"....Mikey are you being serious right now?"

"Yuppers!"

Leo threw his head back and sighed "you know I may sound like Donnie right now, but there are an infinite amount of things to guess from so you may have to give me a hint."

"okay! So I got you gift, buuuuuut you have to guess what it is."

Leo's back straightens and he stares at Mikey with much more exitement "wait are you being serious? You got me a gift?"

"Yeah haha I did, would you like me to just give it to you?" he feels nervous now, he's not really sure he's ready for this, but is going to do it anyway against his own better judgement.

"Uhm yes obviously?? Now gimme" Leo puts out his hands and makes a grabbing motion like an impatient child awaiting to be given something, it's clearly to lighten up the situations which Mikey is making weird with his nervousness.

"Pftttt okay okay here take it."

He walks over to Leo and passes him the comic praying that he likes it, Mikey does, he's so proud, but that means nothing if Leo doesnt like it.

Leo takes the comic and looks closer, his eyes widen when he realizes what it is he's holding, "oh my god Mikey did you *make* this?".

"mhm! I noticed you didn't have any physical copies of your comics and they can't be bought like anywhere, online or off, so I decided to make you one!"

Leo's hands tremble as he deftly turns each page oddly quiet.

Mikey watches as his face morphs into something warm and touched, his smile big and eyes watery-

Wait what?!?

A big fat tear slips down Leo's face without a hand coming to wipe it away and Mikey stands there stunned.

He's watched Leo cry many MANY MANY times, whether it be due to a scraped knee, or a broken scateboard when they were little or due to nightmares over the Kraang, Mikey's seen it all. Him and Leo have always cried the most. But he's never seen Leo cry over something as simple and as meaningless as a comic book before.

"Mikes, did you *make* this for me?" his voice wobbles as he speaks, a disbelieving smile still stretched across his face, still holding the book and flipping through its pages slowly and carefully, scanning each page like he hadn't read them all a million times before, like they were something new, something precious.

Mikey feels slightly vulnerable and embarrassed when Leo looks up at him, remembering that there are definitley some really awfully drawn pages in there, nights where his hands wouldn't stop shaking, or the pose was just to difficult and seeing him cry over it is a bit worrying.

Mikey looks at the corner of the room, man he should really do some dusting, "um, yeah, sorry by the way, some of them are really badly drawn, a-and i know you've already read it a million times so it's really not that goo-"

Leo cuts him off by grabbing the strap around his shell and pulling him down onto the been bag into a 10/10, ultimate crushing big brother hug.

Mikey doesn't fight it these hugs are the *best* hugs.

"mikey- i cant-*holy fuck*, this is like, the nicest and most thoughtful gift i have *ever* been given the fact you even noticed I missed my comics makes me want to hide in my shell and cry so hard my tear ducts will explode, don't you *ever* apologise ok?"

Mikey felt HIMSELF tear up.

Your artwork is incredible and so so beautiful, Leo sniffs and Mikey feels so happy, (he's pretty sure his arms are glowing, not that he can see from where his snout is buried in Leo's shoulder) "i can't believe you put in the effort even with your hands to make a whole comic book just to make me feel better, that must have taken forever."

"I'm-im-yeah, I'm so glad you it Leo."

They stay like that for far to long, sitting on a bean bag that is way to small to fit them both, laughing and chatting and crying whilst look through the comic.

______________________________________

It's not his old comic book, with ink smudged and faded colours, with nights spent rereading and loving. cherished, on its spot on the shelf, with worn edges and a broken spine. It's not the gift he was given when he was 9, a start of a long love for the franchise, and hours in the further of areas of the sewers to find more of them.

It's not any of that but it's something *more*.

Becasue it's *Mickey*.

It's his little brothers drawing, its long nights spent caring about him, and hope to make him just a tiny bit happier.

It's work, and shaking arms and passion. It's family and love and warmth, it's sleepless nights and something handcrafted, and Leo can see it etched into every line of the page. It's not old like it used to be, it's something wonderful, and something new, it's a gift, and every single line is different now because the adoration Mikey has for all of his brothers is radiating out of them.

Each mistake on the page is another mark of Mikey, another mark of his gift and it's meaning.

He can't ever get back what he's lost, he'll never be the same as he was, but he thinks now, whilst looking at the pages softly, this is maybe just a little bit better, just a little but more exciting and new.

Mikey will never know what this means to Leo, because to him, this is just another "small" act of kindness the same as he'd do for anyone.

And although Leo would never admit it, it makes everything he's been through just a little more smaller, and a little less scary, because if something this good can happen out of somthing so miserable? then maybe the future won't be so awful after all, and maybe it never was, his brothers will always be there for him, and he can't believe he ever doubted them in the first place.

_________________________________________

Please remember the idea for this fic was written by turtleblogatlast

And here's the the original little script they wrote!!! Read original script

Goooooood hahaha so uhm I hope you like it!! (Also sorry this became a little more Mikey centric than it was supposed to be I am a Mikey kinnie and tend to make everything about him😭)

I absolutely love your writing and the things you do so just think of this as a thankyou gift for being so cool!

I wanted to sprinkle more of your headcannon in haha but I didn't know where to start or when I could mention them sorry:(

Also apologies for all my head cannons I could help myself

"I will make this fic purely for someone else and won't add my own headcannons!......... F*ck."

[vacantgodling]

oc kiss week day 6 4: reach

i’m posting this out of order bc i had this finished first LMAO 💀 next one i’ll post is day 4 promise pff

WIP: the chronicles of lathsbury (tcol)

SHIP: erik soori (he/him, ranger) x un "dion" undershield (he/him, protector)

SUMMARY: dion knew it was his fault, but that didn't make it hurt less. the worst part was erik didn't blame him at all.

tw(s): major out of context spoilers, amputation (not in graphic detail, it's already been done) & traumatic limb loss

worldbuilding notes: erik and miona are both from diisai, which is an island to the west of terrae's mainland across the eastern sea (which is not east lmao). diisaians like themselves have a sort of highland (scottish) adjacent sounding accent, and because i like writing vernaculars, you'll see that make an appearance here. erik's accent is stronger than miona's because miona grew up in the capital of diisai while erik grew up in the highlands.

also sorry in advance for this this is so sad fr LMAO.

“I spoke wi’eh doctor.” Miona said. She wasn’t looking at him, or where Erik lay, deathly still on the hospital bed. His body was fully covered by blankets up to his chin, and his face didn’t look peaceful so much as he just looked like a corpse. If Dion knew Miona better, like Erik did, maybe he would’ve been able to read through whatever emotion her flat voice was trying to hide. He didn’t look at her either. Just kept staring at him like he had for the past week. She waited a long moment before she continued. 

“After he’s granted discharge, it's recommended ‘at he retire.” 

Another long beat passed. 

“He can’t.” Dion was surprised hearing his own voice—the last time he heard it like this was when Fia passed and. And. He sucked in a harsh breath through his nose; he couldn’t think about her. Not now, it would break him.

Miona whirled on him, her eyes suddenly blazing. “Can’t?!” Her voice was shrill. “He lost his fucking arm, you heartless piece o’ shit!” Guilt seared through Dion’s gut like he’d been fileted, and it was hard not to double over from the pain of it. “Th’ whole damn thing!” She screamed and Dion wished he could scream too. He knew! And it was his fault. Miona wasn’t done her tirade however. “Can you stop being so fucking selfish for once in yer damn life—”

“I know what he lost!” Dion finally growled, cutting her off. He could barely breathe around the nausea that gripped him like iron from the inside of his throat, strangling him with every word, but he pushed them out. “But you and I both know he won’t!” 

Miona glowered at him, grinding her teeth, knowing he was right but not wanting to admit it herself. She tried again. “Then convince ‘im! For pity’s sake, he can’t go on like this!” 

Dion turned away from her, and away from Erik no matter how much he needed to stare at him to make sure that he was there. “I can’t do that.” His voice was barely a puff of air; a wheeze.

If he was looking at Miona, he would’ve seen the way she tugged at her hair in frustration. “Ye’re the only one who can!” She choked on her words, tears welling up in her voice like an overflowing dam. “He’ll ne’er be able to shoot a bow again—don’t ye get it? And you know he won’t sit around and do paperwork all day!” 

“I’m not stupid.” Dion felt the stupid, useless tears that he hated to shed begin to trail down his dark cheeks and he pointedly kept his face turned away. That’s what was tearing him up—he knew that Erik was fucked over beyond repair and he fucking caused it.

The one thing Fia loved about Erik more than anything was his bow. The one thing that completed Erik, was that ridiculous thing, near as large as Dion’s own shield, at his side. He drew it with such a raw power in a way that was lost on the rangers of the mainland; a unique artform all of its own. And because of Dion it was ruined. He’d ruined Fia’s dream—as the last insult to her memory. He’d ruined Erik, as the final straw in the string of insults that Dion had taken at his character. The one man who never left him. The one man who coddled him, listened to him, cared for him even when he didn’t fucking deserve it—

“Get out o’eh way, ye stupid bastard!” 

Dion kept replaying the moment over and over in his mind. 

He had been so focused. So, angry, and reckless—Erik shouldn’t have had to cover his blind spot. Erik shouldn’t have known his blind spot… But logic reasoned that if anyone would’ve known it, Erik would. They’d been fighting together for… too long now. This was the price for that.

Both he and Miona were startled out of their argument by a shifting of the sheets. Of a loud, pained groan. 

“A’ll get th’ doctor!” Miona said. She rushed for the door, pausing for only a moment to look back at Dion. “But remember what Ah said. And don’t ye dare hurt him.”

Dion didn’t bother to deign what she said with a response. He was too busy falling to his knees by the bedside, grasping Erik’s trembling left hand in his own—what was left of him. 

He was forcibly moved from the bedside when the doctor rushed in.

It was another week before Erik awoke again. And in all that time, Dion stayed by his bedside. He tried to read, but his mind wouldn’t follow the words, but there was nothing else to do so he forced himself through passage after passage of drivel until it made his eyes burn and his head swim.

During that time, the room was constantly fluctuating with visitors: Miona came in nearly every day, and the barman—Papa, whatever his name, stopped by as well. The Diisiain they spoke rapidly between each other was too hushed for Dion to catch any of, but he noticed the forlorn look the burly man gave Erik when he finally ambled out. Cameron stopped by, and that archer his sister fancied, along with other people Dion hadn’t bothered to learn the names of. He’d never… realized how well liked Erik was. He’d been so focused on himself, his vengeance, his pain—its like he never even knew who Erik was. Is. He wasn’t dead. He had to keep telling himself that.

It was a sentiment proven true when Erik began to stir. Dion almost didn’t notice, given how quiet this awakening was compared to the previous outburst. His honey brown eyes were barely visible under his drooping lids, but visible enough for Dion to start when he said, all rasp, “Ne’er thought Ah’d see th’ day where ye’d voluntarily read somethin’, bubble boy.” 

The silly nickname that normally Dion hated constricted something fierce in his chest, and his heart stopped, before it began to hammer against his ribs. “You’re awake.” He said dumbly. “You’re actually awake.” 

“Fer better or worse.” Erik sighed heavily, so much that Dion could almost hear the creak of his bruised lungs. “Though Ah feel like th’ Lady o’ tha Universe sent th’ planet crashin’ down on me brow an’ knocked me clean oot. I feel awful.” Despite it, Erik chuckled and Dion felt his heart crash down to his stomach. How could he do this? How was he this endless well of optimism. When Fia died, Erik hadn’t shed a tear that Dion could see. Just held him, helped him bury her body—their bodies of the rest of their team. When Dion shunned his jokes and his cheer, he’d let it roll off of his shoulders without even blinking. He almost wanted to ask—what kept him cheerful when the world was cruel and heartless? But then Erik sat up on the bed. With some difficulty, Dion could add. The book he was reading fell from his lap as he lunged to reach Erik, helping him get to an upright position with a hand steadied on his back. The blanket dropped from his shoulders, and suddenly it was bared to the world. Bandaged; but enough that Dion felt the nausea of guilt arrest him again. Where Erik’s right arm should’ve been, there was nothing but a nub right at the shoulder. It was a clean break, like someone snapped it off like an icicle or chalk, and not the horribly mangled, jagged thing it had been when Dion and Jace managed to drag him to the hospital, already passed clean out from the pain. They must’ve had to amputate slightly further up, to salvage what they could… even if it wasn’t much. 

Aware of it, Erik stilled, and how he was turned obscured his expression from Dion. Without warning, his left arm came grasping at the place where his arm once was. 

“She’s really gone… Isn’t she?” Erik’s voice was threadbare. But surprisingly, he wasn’t the one who’d begun to cry.

When Dion didn’t give him an answer, Erik turned his head. The worried expression on his face was swimming in Dion’s vision.

“Oi… Ye… ye’re cryin’?” Erik looked about as lost as Dion felt. When he tried to open his mouth, no sound came out. “Ah…” Erik’s left hand reached out then hesitated, unsure. But, steeling his resolve, he reached out all the way, and grasped Dion by the front of his shirt. It only took one tug to pull Dion into his embrace, and any other day, any other time Dion would’ve shoved him off but now… His arms just felt too weak. 

Against his hair, he felt a brush of Erik’s lips. 

“Ah didn’t think ye’d cry.” He said, hushed. The lips pressed into Dion’s hair again, this time more purposeful and it hit Dion so sharply that he felt dizzy. Despite the fact that Dion caused his injury. Despite the fact that Dion couldn’t do anything but growl and scowl and give him grief for his troubles to be friendly, that no matter what happened between them, Erik was always there whenever Dion fell. He couldn’t bear it, he couldn’t bear it. 

“If Ah thought Ah could’a gone fer me bow, I woulda but…” Erik tried to laugh but it came out watery and broken. “An’ now… Ah’m ne’er gonna shoot me bow again.” He laughed again, but this one was more pained and Dion pulled away, if only to look into Erik’s eyes. Tears had begun pouring down his face like a river’s spring flood.

Dion wished he knew what to say.

“.... Ah promised meself that Ah wouldn’t regret it if ye were safe.” Erik whispered, and then suddenly he was breaking. It was all Dion could do but pull Erik into his chest as he wailed, his tears wrenching and racking his whole, too thin body with them. All Dion could do was hold him and mirror the gesture; pressing the most delicate of kisses to Erik’s head as he fell apart.

[jitterbugjive]

I hate that people can easily find the stupid and shitty things I said and did over 5 years ago and jump to the conclusion that that's who I am, and there's no easy way for anyone to see all the efforts I've been making since then to NOT be that person. It's hard to find all my apologies and explanations because I didn't tag them all properly. I've tried time and time again to explain that I was mimicking the behavior bad adults gave me when I was growing up and that no one really called me out on that behavior until it was too late. I've tried to explain that since then I've been going through extensive therapy to separate bad learned behavior from who I want to actually be. There's so much more to this whole story than what one small chunk of the internet is making it out to be. People who actually know me know that this has been eating me up constantly and that I am always living in fear of losing everything to this drama.

especially since some of that info takes quotes out of context, jumps to conclusions that aren't true, or flat out lies about what certain artworks are depicting or meaning to convey (Like claiming a grown ass adult is a child even tho I have proof the character looks totally different as an adult than as a child, or claiming that a shock piece meant to make people reel back in horror was a fetish when it was not at all that)

It takes clips of things without the full picture and puts words in my mouth.

Here's a little something about how I used to talk about sore subjects: I would make a controversial sounding statement, but then I would explain myself in a way that would show the statement wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. A lot of the time they just take that bad statement and paste it for the world to see, without giving any of that context of me explaining why I said that and why it's not what it sounds like.

I wish people were smart enough to spot cherry picking when they see it, but they just aren't. They'll see one sentence, and someone saying "look they're supporting this bad thing" and that's all they need to think that's what it is. People aren't smart enough to really ask questions and try to understand a situation, all they want is face value to tell them how to think and feel.

People aren't going to bother to listen to me because I'm "the bad guy" and I'll "say anything to cover my ass".

Listen, if I was really that horrible of a person, don't you think there would be more evidence out there that is very clear and blunt and not just making assumptions on what a thing means?

I'm never gonna sit here and say what I said and did wasn't wrong, it was, but it was not done because I was trying to be a terrible person or prey on anyone. It was because I was insanely misguided by someone who groomed me for 5 years since childhood and then abused me for another 3 in a really toxic relationship. And then I never got HELP for it, I never got therapy to cope with it, I never even realized until way later that 'holy shit this person was 7 years older than me and was taking advantage of me the whole time'. Like I knew they were abusive but adults being friends with children was so normalized in my head, and throughout my life many adults or older kids exposed me to things I shouldn't have been and it skewed in my head what was appropriate behavior or not. Or what was okay to draw or not. And a lot of my opinions were formed around this adult who convinced me things like loli/shota were fine as long as they were strictly made up, and he fed me a lot of nonsense about what does and doesn't make a predator to cover his own ass. I was seriously fucked up almost beyond repair for a long time.

I have a warning on my blog now that minors shouldn't be following me, I make it a point to not ever work with minors on projects or talk to a minor in any capacity beyond a fan to artist relationship. I understand now that it is my responsibility as a NSFW artist that I simply cannot have minors as friends. And being much older now I don't even want minors as friends anyway. When I was in my early 20s the age gap didn't feel as bad but I'm definitely feeling it now and I just don't want to deal with minors any more.

I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm not spewing apologetics for horrible people, I've been doing my best to be a much better and more informed person

And I have no easy way to prove any of it in a way that will matter

I'm only talking about this now because once again I was kicked out of something because someone found that old info and that was all it took. No one cares about my side of things.

And I don't know if this will ever go away

I don't know if I'll ever find any amount of comfortable success because I can't get rid of this shit and on the internet it doesn't matter how long ago you did something or how much you've changed, you did it and therefor you're bad forever.

I hate this shit so much.

[amuseoffyre]

For the past fortnight, work has been getting in the way of me doing fandom related stuff, but it’s also given me a lot more time to turn over “working class northern Izzy Hands” in my brain.

There have been some fab posts going around with the analysis of Izzy in the context of the social history and what it meant for him and the more I thought about them, the more I recognised him in my dad’s side of the family.

I’ll foreword this with a note that this is entirely based on my lived experience around northern blokes of a certain generation. I have no idea what things are like now, but back when I was a wee bit of a thing, this seemed to be the norm.

A big thing about the north of England is that it’s where a lot of industry was based: glassworks, steelworks, collieries, mines of all kinds, shipbuilding. Whole cities sprang up there based around manual labour and manufacture and trade. There was a history of graft and everyone was expected to do their share and pull their weight. (“Your lots days of sitting around doing fuck all are over”)

There was also a certain pride in that work. Yes, it was hard and yes it could probably kill you, but by god you were good at it. And even moreso if you’d managed to make your way up to be in a position that earned you some modicum of respect and authority. Or even just survived that long. (“My name is First Mate Hands or God as far as you’re concerned”)

There was also a very definite pecking order, whether in social circles or work circles. You couldn’t just swan in and expect to be accepted and respected. You had to earn any respect you got and demanding it was a guarantee you wouldn’t get it. (“Pirates my arse”)

I’ve mentioned before on the post I linked further up about literacy and education. For the longest time, literacy in the north was very low because the majority of people left school early because they had to work. It wasn’t an option to stay on and get an education. If you had stayed in school, then you weren’t working and if you weren’t working, your family may not be eating.

There used to be a vibe of Proper Jobs (ie. manual labour of some kind) versus Soft Jobs (clerking, secretary etc). There were careers such as doctor and lawyer that did get considered Proper Jobs, but for the pencil pushers and the paperwork monkeys scurrying around and making notes, they were doing Soft Jobs.

All of these factors are very clearly in play in the scenes between Izzy and Lucius in episode 5. Here’s a lazy and disrespectful younger man whose entire job on the ship is a Soft Job. He gets to fanny about, writing things down, while everyone else has to do manual labour, and then he disrespects someone who is accustomed to a certain level of authority and respect, someone who has clawed his way up through the ranks.

He’s absolutely dead centre in a ven diagram of Things That Will Annoy Izzy Hands. Even more so since Izzy can’t do anything to Stede for fear of crossing Blackbeard, but this guy? Oh, this guy he can take out his frustrations on.

It explains why Izzy’s ire is focused on him, even though Wee John was having a nap and Black Pete was slacking off just as much. Both of those characters are manual workers (to a given degree, “bottom of the barrel”, after all) but the boy writing the journal, who clearly thinks he’s better than Izzy? Well, there’s someone who needs to learn his place.

(I still have Thoughts on the ‘ooooh daddy’ moment, but I have little brain left to articulate them just now)

And while I was going down that road, my brain took a sharp turn into the realisation of why Izzy dresses the way he does as well. Like the rest of Blackbeard’s crew, he’s in the black/leather combination but unlike them, he is covered from collar to cuffs, neck to toe. Some of it’s worn and repaired, but it’s an outfit that would be seen as Respectable even beyond the pirate world: a full shirt with cravat and a waistcoat on top.

Why would he choose to be so formally dressed? Because “I was honoured to work for the legendary Blackbeard”. It comes back to the pride in his work. He’s First Mate. He’s the second-in-command on the Queen Anne’s Revenge. He has worked bloody hard and survived many things to reach this point. He is representing something both to himself and to the world.

It’s about status: he stands out among the crew, so there’s no question that he’s in charge with his formal clothing. But he also stands out when we see him around other pirates. The only other pirates we see who dress to impress to this degree are Stede and Spanish Jackie. “Make people feel underdressed and suddenly you’re the one in charge” can be applied to all three of them. And it cracks me up knowing how much Izzy would hate that.

All of this is also the reason I’m pretty sure there will be an arc in the coming season when Stede does actually earn some little grudging respect from Izzy. Stede earning his place, doing the work and proving himself feels like it will be a vital cog in the story. Izzy will still deplore him, because he’s a creature of habit and routine, but I feel like there will be at least a grudging “...fine. You’re not a totally useless fucker”, which is high praise indeed.

Now, though, it’s midnight and I’m listing sideways. I shall no doubt have more thoughts, but for now, this will do.

[stunnedgorilla]

OFMD season 2 spoilers!!

Ed leaving Stede after Stede gains actual infamy feels very in character, even if it's frustrating as fuck.

Imagine how Ed feels: at the start of season 2, he was at his absolute lowest. He was depressed and angry and doing horrible things and quite literally trying to end his life. And then he gets another shot at life because he was cucking saved by the power of love. Being blackbeard nearly killed him. It scarred him and others permanently. We see him attempt to apologize when the crew lets him back on the ship after his banishment, and it's a shitty apology, but it's a huge first step. Then, we see him apologize to izzy directly, actually using the word "sorry" albeit not looking him in the eyes. And that's fucking huge. Neither Ed nor izzy are good communicators, so Izzy responds with "fuck off," but we know he values the apology anyway.

When Stede makes what's his name walk the plank, Ed tells him not to go through with it. Because Ed knows what that guilt is like, and if Stede has the choice not to do something so callous and irreversible, then Ed wants him to. He wants to spare him that pain.

And then Stede fucking does it anyway.

And not because he's evil, or he's a murderer at heart, but because the thing he wants most is to be masculine, attractive, powerful. Like Blackbeard. Because if he's like blackbeard, then he has worth. That murder changes his character fundamentally. He has finally achieved the thing he wants most, and it makes complete sense that immediately after, he and Ed have sex for the first time. Because Stede is immediately filled with confidence and adrenaline and power that he's never felt before.

Stede is now the more conventionally masculine one in the relationship. So, he's the one to grab Ed by the shirt and push him up against the wall. He's the one to close the curtains, while Ed sits on the bed and looks up at him. We don't even see his face as he does so. All we see is his bare chest, a symbol of masculine attractiveness. Stede is the one moving the both of them forward. And Ed lets him because he's down astronomically bad for Stede.

Then, the morning after, Ed throws Blackbeard's clothes into the sea, both symbolically and literally evolving in his character. He's done with hot black leather and metal buckles. He's done with having 9 gun holsters on his person. He's embracing simple and soft fabric. He's wearing one of Stede's robes. Ed makes them breakfast in bed-Stede still shirtless-as they lay apart from each other. No cuddling, no tender touches, no soft giggles as they embrace this new form of intimacy, no. What we get is Ed making them breakfast, being so desperate to please him that he throws a literal piece of twine on the tray in lieu of nothing.

Then at Spanish Jackie's, Stede revels in his infamy, and Ed gives him distanced advice about the lifestyle. He sits at a table with SJ while Stede does body shots or something, having rapidly become (as SJ said) "the man."

And then Stede fucking lights a man on fire????

No fucking wonder Ed wanted to leave. Stede is embracing the lifestyle that caused Ed and the crew so much pain and suffering. Like holy shit, of course Ed wanted to distance himself. He just started making ammends for his horrific behavior WITH STEDES ENCOURAGEMENT, and then Stede lights a man on fire and laughs about it.

I'm not saying they're relationship is beyond repair, or that Ed should have left, I definitely think they should have communicated. But I completely understand why Ed needed to distance himself from who Stede is turning into, which I think is why he called them fucking a mistake. It wasn't a mistake because Ed doesn't love him, it was a mistake because they're identities as individual people are extremely unstable. They're moving so fast in opposite directions, and they need to slow down and talk about it before agreeing to such vulnerable intimacy. I don't think the sex was non-con, but a lack of communication makes it really fucking easy to hurt each other.

I only hope that they will talk through their shit. I hope Ed will realize that Stede loves him more than he loves being an infamous pirate. I hope Stede will realize he doesn't have to be an infamous pirate for Ed to love him.

Anyway I fucking hate this show

[amarriageoftrueminds]

Thinking about how great CATWS was and how Marvel dropped the ball on all the characters from that movie.

Steve? Got character assassinated beyond repair.

Natasha? Killed off, didn't even get an on-screen funeral and her only solo movie was more about introducing Yelena than her.

Bucky? Never got a prober story, was victim blamed, and will possibly die in Thunderbolts.

Nick Fury? Got character assassinated in Secret Invasion.

Maria Hill? Was killed off in SI.

Sharon Carter? Turned into a villian.

Sam Wilson? Unlike the rest they haven't completely fumbled the bag with his character but he was still screwed by FATWS in many ways, and his first solo movie doesn't look very promising either.

Also consider that their sequel to the movie where we find out Howard Stark knew about Nazis in SHIELD (the specific Nazi that tortured Bucky and killed members of the 107, and tried to kill Steve) ...was a movie where Howard is assassinated by Hydra and yet Bucky gets blamed and brutally attacked for it. Even though this is the same movie where we find out Bucky was mind-controlled.

And their sequel to the movie where we find out Peggy knew about Nazis in SHIELD is..... Uh. Nothing. They never address it. A character who died offscreen gets screen time wasted on a fulblown Royal funeral (attended by people who didn't even fucking know her!!)

They treat her like some kind of living saint, to the point where she's now a full blown Mary Sue, with yet another bloody tv show where every storyline must be about her, and her possessing Steve, and Steve is reduced to a Stepford Husband wheeled out to repeat 'Peggy. Is. Perfect' type lines. 😬 (Steve. Blink if you need rescuing.)

All Bucky's everything now belongs to Peggy.

Oh, apart from the blame of course! He gets to keep all of that! 🙂

(Oh, and as per What If, Sam is no longer part of CATWS, his own intro movie, and even Natasha's own movie is now about- guess who?? Peggy! And Peggy having Steve!)

Apparently Sharon has been turned into a villain in the comics, too. Just as they start product-synergy introducing MCU!Peggy to over-ride comics Peggy. I wonder why...

(It's so funny that TFATWS assigned MCU-Sharon MCU-Peggy's annoyance at being overlooked by men (cough the man she's relentlessly hitting on cough) and decided that this would be her villain origin story... and yet nobody has connected the dots to Peggy and her behaviour?)

Sharon and Sam's characterisation only feels like an organic continuation because, frankly, the MCU never bothered to write them being particularly nice people to begin with?

Sam being a fratbro-style dick to Bucky in TFATWS, with a side of dispensing unsound self-contradictory counselling advice, is consistent with being a dick to Bucky (and arguing against helping him) since CATWS and quitting a counselling job at the drop of a hat. (Only the 1980s movie locker-room homophobia queerbait is new.)

Sharon being a villain is consistent with being a Carter not being asked to join the 'bringing down Hydra' team in CATWS, dressing up as the same profession as Steve's dead mother to 'befriend' him while she's just spying on him (contrast: the calling-out Nat got from Steve just for not telling him something), staying in SHIELD while they were hunting down Steve and Natasha, immediately joining the CIA (aka, the people who just happen to have a superhero-proof electric chair and want to shoot Bucky on sight, who also have Everett 'ex-husband of Madame Hydra who laughs at the idea of Bucky getting a lawyer' Ross on staff), ...which is easily infiltrated by a (thinly-veiled-Hydra) villain who wants to mind-control TWS to bring down the Avengers (deja vu??), being snippy to Sam for no reason, continuing to lie about herself beyond the point of it being necessary, and also being a creep who expects a thank you kiss from Steve just for doing one basic helpful thing when asked. *phew!*

But the geniuses who inherited the job of writing her in TFATWS can't see any of that... They see no issues, so they think they've written her 'turning' bad. The writing is still shonky because it still isn't self-aware about what it's portraying. The cognitive dissonance is still dissonant.

(Same problem with Fury. They keep giving him 'bad' things to do, showing him instinctively first joining the 'bad side', eg. Pierce's SHIELD, the Kree, etc. But with the exclusion of Steve yelling at him in CATWS -- and only so that Nick gets called out, but not precious Saint Margaret, ofc -- it's never addressed. They can't do anything interesting with the moral charcoal that they've accidentally cooked up, because they aren't even aware that it's there. 🤦‍♀️)

We were mercifully spared from Joss Whedon's terrible ideas for Maria... (supposed to be a villain in A1, baffled as to what to do with a female character so obviously she should be hinted as a love interest for Steve out of fuckn nowhere in A2) ...only to end like that.

Outside of that AOU Avengers party, where she was chill and kinda gay, I feel like the best characterisation we got for her was when- was it in one of the Spidey movies?? -she was a Skrull. 😤 If only I could say the same of Steve...

[ninadove]

Lukadrinette and Clemmy for the ship ask game !!!!

THANK YOU HEHE 💖

Lukadrinette ✅

1. What made you ship it?

Honestly? Migration! Pretty late to the party, I know. As someone who loves unconditional and overpowering devotion (romantic or platonic) between two characters, I don’t have many poly ships in general, and Wishmaker left a bad taste in my mouth. I did not want my boy Luka to constantly be the Love Square’s third wheel.

In that sense, Migration did the exact opposite of Perfection and Protection, which crushed the remnants of my interest in Adrigaminette beyond repair. It started off on the wrong (but admittedly hilarious) foot with the therapy session, and yet somehow by the end I could see Luka taking great care of these two idiots and being cared for in return. As far as I’m concerned, all three of them are in a long distance relationship by the end of the episode.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Lukadrien

Seriously though. I think @paracosmicat said it best when they called Luka the Love Square’s grounding force. They need his quiet strength and kindness to not explode the fucking moon.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Okay okay. Do not stab me.

… I think Lukadrinette could have been pretty toxic in S4, given the dynamics between the characters then, but that it is leagues healthier than Adrigaminette as of S5.

And yeah, I’m biased, obviously. It doesn’t change the fact that I am absolutely right.

NOW THAT I’VE BEEN CONTROVERSIAL ON MAIN. Let’s move on to my obscure ship, my beloved rarepair, the OTP amongst my OTPs.

CLEMMY ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

1. What made you ship it?

The actual origin story is that I joined a Layton roleplay group wayyy back then, and picked up where their former Clive had left off. Keep in mind, I was just about to turn 14, which means Azran Legacy wasn’t even out yet.

AND THEN IT WAS. AND IT MADE EVERYTHING A BILLION TIMES BETTER.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

I absolutely love the parallels and contrasts between Clive and Emmy. Both are twist antagonists, both are redeemable, both deeply care for Hershel despite having betrayed him. One is a manipulator, while the other has been used her entire life. Most importantly, one accepted the consequences of his actions, while the other ran away.

There’s just so much potential here, and the fandom has been sleeping on it for over a decade.

LIKE

AS MUCH AS I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LACK OF FELIGAMI AND SENTICOUSINS CONTENT, THERE ARE 10+ TIMES MORE WORKS FOR THEM THAN FOR CLEMMY. I WROTE TWO OF THESE. I AM DYING SQUIRTLE.

Get on it, people. I’m saying that in your own interest. The Clemmy agenda will prevail anyway — you want to be on the right side of history when it does.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Clive is bi, but doesn’t know it because he is also demi and as such did not have any crushes before meeting his future wife.

Emmy is pan. For some reason, non-lesbian Emmy seems to piss off fans beyond belief, even though there are no canon elements to hint either way. As a lesbian myself, I am perplexed.

Ask game here! 💙💛

[genericpuff]

same anon as last ask. I also have to note: i dont think there are any good reasons for domestic abuse. there are none. you said hades didnt deserve to get slapped but then had previously said "as if the victim of the slap wasn’t a guy who was just as if not more abusive than she was in that relationship in his own fucked up way". reading that it does feel like you are saying he deserved to be slap or trying to justify it. maybe you arent tho? btw i dont give a shit about that man lmao

No, and you're right! But that's always the assumption people make whenever defenses for Minthe are made - that by empathizing with Minthe, or by pointing out that Hades was just as shitty in the relationship as she was, you're excusing domestic violence and abuse - and they're very... strawmen assumptions, IMO.

(TW: abuse)

The issue with the Minthe debate is that a lot of people fail to hold every other abusive character in the comic to the same standards they hold Minthe, and they fail to recognize everything that led up to the slap.

Like, when Hecate slapped the shit out of Hades for being into Persephone, where were people then? It was played off for laughs.

But then Minthe slaps Hades once during an emotional breakdown and all of a sudden she's an irredeemable villain.

No one deserves to be physically or verbally assaulted whether or not mental health is involved. But when mental health is a factor in cases like Minthe - which it is because she was initially designed with BPD until Rachel retconned it on Discord - it's one of those "it's a reason, not an excuse" sort of deals. If LO Minthe was being written by someone who actually cared about mental health representation, she would have been given the same opportunity to grow and learn from her mistakes and past transgressions just as Hades and Persephone have been given.

Instead, Minthe is a villain for having a moment of cruelty during a breakdown, and Hades and Persephone never seem to have to own up to the shit they do. Abuse is never okay, but LO is essentially saying "abuse is okay if you're cute and rich and if you make funny meme faces while you do it."

Characters like Minthe are WAY more interesting than Hades and Persephone BECAUSE of their flaws, she isn't peddled as perfect, she's real. Minthe and characters like her are raw and genuine, they don't feel like they're putting on some act of "niceness", they feel like people, people who make mistakes and fuck up and suffer consequences for their decisions and their action. I've seen a lot of people empathize with and enjoy Minthe's character simply because they do see themselves in her, they see her vulnerabilities and her flaws and her fears and recognize that she's not perfect. Some people truly are irredeemable beyond repair, but Minthe... Minthe still had a fighting chance. We had that chance when she first dumped Thetis, it was so cathartic to see her take control of her own situation and healing... but then RS backtracked on it immediately because she accidentally made the character who she knew she wanted Persephone to turn into a plant way too empathetic. So instead she opted to dial up Minthe's shittiness to 1584923108 in order to get her audience to hate her - and to ensure anyone who did still empathize with her look abusive by extension.

She didn't need or deserve 'another chance' from Hades, or Hecate, or the other people who she had already hurt countless times. But she does deserve to give herself the chance to grow and learn and move forward to something better. We all do. It's why forgiveness is one of the most essential first steps in growth.

I'm tired of reading about H x P "forgiving" themselves for what they do with false platitudes of TherapySpeak. Because they never learn, they keep acting like shitheads and much of their behavior comes across as fake and disingenuous, like they're just putting on a show. And that's when they actually acknowledge their behavior, more often than not their bullshit is celebrated.

I don't want to celebrate abuse. I want to see character development. You can't develop or grow if you're deluded into thinking you're not doing anything wrong. Persephone and Hades have nowhere to go. Minthe had an entire life ahead of her away from Hades and Thetis... and we were robbed of the chance to witness it.

But that's just my two cents.

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes.

BNHA

(may the bridges i have burned) light my way back home by Chrome (NOTE: I've never been a big BakuDeku fan, but there's something about the respectful, intense way the author writes them - a sense of Knowing and Trusting in a way that goes beyond words - that I really dig. Plus, I'm a fiend for bnha characters interacting with the public/social media in fics)

Since Bakugou Katsuki discovered the secret of One for All, he and Midoriya Izuku have been slowly repairing the friendship they once had. They still haven’t talked about it—but Izuku’s certain that it’s only a matter of time before they manage to lay the past to rest. But when the League of Villains attack the Sports Festival and Bakugou takes a devastating blow meant for Izuku, the whole nation is suddenly paying attention to a relationship the two people involved barely understand. Izuku needs more than ever to figure out who he and Kacchan are to each other—preferably before the internet does.

Or, “Fuck you,” Bakugou said. “I don’t need a whole face to kick your ass.”

DC (Batfamily)

Late Night Encounters by paperxcrowns

Not long after Jason comes back to Gotham and asserts himself as the Red Hood, Tim meets Jason in a diner late at night and by some miracle he doesn't recognize him. After another chance meeting where Jason still doesn't make the connection between him and Robin, Tim decides that this might just his chance to get to know Jason Todd.

the hardest part by emavee

Dick is dreading his eighteenth birthday and everything that it means for him as a foster kid. His time with his family is running out, and he needs to be prepared for what comes next, to be on his own again.

Clone Wars

Standard Operating Procedures by galateaGalvanized

“Sir, I need you to tell me what’s wrong,” Cody says, battlefield calm, and he can’t help his relief when Obi-Wan pulls the tattered remains of his usual dignity back over his shoulders.

“Right,” Obi-Wan says. “Of course. Commander, as far as I can tell, everyone besides you on this ship has fallen truly, madly, deeply in love with me.”

SVSSS

The Perils of LIVE Editing! (ft. BinggYuan!!!) by seol_xiv

In which Shen Yuan flounces around the PIDW timeline in different roles and makes a mess of everything. He likes to think he helped make some things better, but he’s pretty sure he made things worse too.

Apparently, constantly leaving behind a protagonist that has major abandonment issues was a bad thing.

…Huh, who knew?

If Shen Yuan could go back to redo his first meeting with Luo Binghe (Yes, the one where he pretended to be a fortune teller. No, not the one where he picked him up from the Luo River.) He thought that it wouldn’t have gone very differently. After all, how could he have predicted this??! “A’Yuan,” Luo Binghe (as in LUO BINGHE) purred as he leaned into Shen Yuan’s…well, everything, really. “Would you kindly tell this lord where you’ve been for the past five years?” Danger! Danger!! Danger!!! Important things must be said three times! And the protagonist looking like he was going to eat him alive was 100% f*cking important okay!?! Also, how the hell did he find out about his identity?!?! SYSTEM! WHAT THE F*CK??!!

(OR: Giving Binggē a happy ending, one version of Shen Yuan at a time!)

The Favourite by x_los

Demonic Emperor Luo Binghe's reputation precedes him. It's just not very accurate.

Anyways, Stan Shen Qingqiu by x_los

Millennial vs Gen Z? Shen Qingqiu wishes.

A young transmigrator has a new idol; Shen Qingqiu is very tired.

[monstersinthecosmos]

For the ask thingy...(sorry, my emoji died and i never made any attempt to revive.)

What is a fic of yours you feel people didn't "get?"

What is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

(writing asks!)

sdgkjlsga is it obnoxious that since I've answered these I will pick 2 random other questions that no one asked yet???? 😂

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

So oddly enough, VC fics are really breezy for me and come to me easily, I think? But the three I can think of that I worked like SUPER FUCKING HARD ON were The Lotus Eater, So Falls the World, and Gallows Bird. Each of these took me MONTHS to write and like, I'm kind of an insecure writer so I tend to crash in the middle of fics and think I'm fucking it up beyond repair and think my writing sucks blah blah. So these fics that take longer to write make that phase even harder because like, something that takes someone a half hour to read was probably a part that I stared at every night for weeks and agonized over every detail and when you stay with one scene for that long you start convincing yourself that it's extremely boring.

So I'm not sure if "no one would ever know" because I hope that like, you can tell I work hard and think deeply about my fics LOL, but I struggle a lot in the middle and I really get upset with myself about like, understanding all the meta and understanding the character motivations and I always convince myself that I read canon wrong and that I'm being a fool and that everyone is going to know I'm illiterate LOL.

Since it's the most recent and fresh in my memory, I'll say in Gallows Bird I was really struggling a lot with characterizing Armand and I was convinced that he was out of character and I was like really agonizing over how much to say about him and I still don't know if it makes sense but I did my best. 😂

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

Everything :D

I always worry that my fics are boring or that I'm saying something that's very obvious, like when I ask myself "why don't people talk about xyz more" I ultimately decide that it's because everyone knew it and it was so obvious that no one felt the need to talk about it and I'm just a weak reader with stupid ideas. :) I ALSO ALWAYS WORRY ABOUT MY HISTORICAL RESEARCH and I know for a fact there are things in my fics that no one would ever notice (like the time I looked up the set list for Depeche Mode for the specific night of the concert I mentioned to make sure I name dropped the correct songs and also that I looked up the local beer for that area at that time period) but like I'm so paranoid I'll miss something or get something wrong and everyone will laugh at me and I'll be banished from fandom 😂

[rexxdjarin]

Not a thot but more of a thotty request I think? I'm wondering what you think about different characters and if they had a serious build-up of tension (sexual tension in particular) with reader/oc/whoever, what would break the proverbial camel's back and cause them to snap and pounce on her/them?

For whichever characters you want, but I'm curious about Rex and the commanders in particular

No pressure to respond babe, love ya! 😚

Oooo I love this idea !!

What makes different SW Men (Clones + Boba & Din) snap and want to f*ck your brains out thots:

Rex: for Rex it’s that look in your eyes. It gets him every single time. The way your sweet, demure and kind expression darkens into something alluring, teasing, powerfully seductive. That twinkle in your eye goes from one of wonder and passion to one of titillating need and arousal. He likes to think he’s the only one who can tell when you get like that…though he probably isn’t. But you shoot him that glance from across the room…that one that has his blood draining from the rest of his body to make him hard as a rock between his legs… he can’t help but grab your hand and take you some place private where he more then indulges you in what you crave from him.

Wolffe: for wolffe it’s always been your smart mouth. Whether it’s with him or some other person you’re accosting for some reason…the way you slickly defeat people with words, your sharp tongue and quick wit that has lesser men stumbling to catch up or worse humiliated beyond repair. Sometimes he’s the butt of your jokes, your carefully pointed insults and fuck he doesn’t even care. You’re so difficult to impress, so defiant it makes him crazy. And the only thing he wants to do when you drive him wild like this is tear off your clothes and fuck you till your carefully constructed words stop making sense, till sounds barely come out of you unless it’s to scream his name. Every time you open your mouth he wants to fuck you quiet. Not in a disrespectful way, but because he knows he’s the only one you’d allow to. And oh he thrives on that.

Cody: it’s going to sound predictable but for Cody it’s when you pull out the “Yes, Sir.” He’s dominant and by the book as hell, so when he’s with you and he can be unhinged and dirty he fucking loses it at you bringing back the orderly submission he’s always used to, that he expects. But you saying it with that flirty lilt to your tone is a thousand times more arousing than that same phrase said by anyone else. And if you call him Commander….forget it you’re not walking tomorrow.

Boba: Boba loves your softness. The way you subtly brush your hair behind your ears, how gently you caress his face and hold onto his calloused, broken, bruised hands. He doesn’t get that kind softness from anyone else in the galaxy but you and frankly he would vehemently reject it from anyone who wasn’t you. You’re his girl, and you’re careful with him. That contrast of him, a hardened bounty hunter who has seen the worst of the galaxy with the softest, most nurturing and affectionate person he’s ever met. Gods you have him melting at the slightest brush of your fingertips.

Din: for din, it’s your independence. your strength. You don’t need him. You are every bit your own person, capable and smart and witty and powerful. Sometimes it’s in your physicality, the sheer might of your body. You can take down lifeforms 3 times your size without his help, you can sharpshoot like you were trained your whole life AND watching your expert fighting skills makes him fucking drool underneath his helmet. And other times it’s how you make sarcastic comments just for his own ears, little jokes that are a select type of humor fit for just the two of you. He’s amazed and immensely attracted to your presence and that’s what it is about you that has him willing to bare himself to you night after night knowing that you aren’t intimidated by him at all, but instead challenged and driven by the bond you’re fostering together.

[dark-and-kinky-hetalia-scenarios]

For the infatuated reader for 2p Japan, what if they were his childhood friend/ reincarnation of his friend? Would he be just as cruel or spoil them to his hearts content?

Hi! An excellent question! And you know I love writing about this specific thing so I'm gonna answer it now because I feel like it! :D

Anyways sooooo here goes

2p Japan/Kuro Honda

So the short answer is no, he would not be as cruel. But there are two major possible outcomes for this thing. The first one being he knows from the moment you meet and the second he finds out after he has done all those horrible things to you

The first one:

When he gets you to the temple you will most definitely be pampered and spoiled

He'll want you near him constantly, and it will physically and mentally hurt him if you are not near, he feels so much emptiness without you that it is almost unbearable

You will get all the cutest clothes, the sexiest clothes and the most stylish clothes. Anything you want really

You'll get the best of food, and you'll live with him in his private chambers

You will basically be chained to him, but it all depends on how you play your cards, you can either make him more obsessive or help him become better and more functional

Making him possessive will make him kill anyone who even dares touch you and he will also become more deranged, he might even cage you

There's a big chance he'll try to have a kid with you to have something you two made together

He becomes a yandere in his scenario

If you try to help him, well then he'll be kinder to you, he'll be able to be without you at all times, but he will love you more based on who you are instead of you as a personal belonging

He will also want a kid in this situation, but more so to be a family and have this normal life with you and a kid/kids

It's basically unhealthy or healthy relationship choices

The second one:

So if he has broken you beyond repair and finds out you're his childhood friend, it will break him

He will silently grab his Katana and attempt seppuku

You can attempt to stop him or let him die. Or you can also choose to ram the katana through his heart and become the new 2p Japan

Anyways stopping him will cause him to yell about how terrible he has treated you and how you should let him die

You'll need a lot of convincing to make him stop, at least if you want kind of a good ending

Or you can also choose to fuck him up in the head royally by forcing yourself on him to show him you liked it. Would not recommend

Anyways if you manage to convince him to not kill himself you'll need to support him in the healing process

He has a lot of baggage to unpack from his past, and this really didn't help it at all

He'll do everything he can to make you go back to normal

He's going to be suicidal until you get better too, but he will not act upon it because he knows you need to heal and that is more important than his need to die

There will be much more tenderness in his actions, he will always watch over you, and comfort you

He will seek help only because you want him to and he thinks that if you can both heal maybe it will make up for what he has done to you

Regardless of what happens he will be a broken man in this scenario, but with your support he might be able to put some of the pieces back together

So this was long and depressing, and I tried to touch upon what could happen in different scenarios, if you'd like me to specify some of it, send me an ask! :)

Kuro is definitely my most developed character, so I do love talking about him!