#i think once Astarion REALLY cares about someone he starts to get protective

[tadfool]

Thinkin about the idea of Astarion being protective over Wyll, especially when it comes to Mizora. Mizora shows up to talk to Wyll and the whole time Astarion is glaring at her like he's trying to burn a hole through her head with his eyes, all the while slowly drifting closer to Wyll. The first time it happens Wyll is a little bit bewildered, he doesn't hate it certainly but he's so used to being the protector, he's not used to being protected, he doesn't quite know what to do with himself. Eventually Astarion is slowly drifting his way into Wyll's personal space and Wyll doesn't pull away. After the first few times this happens he even starts to lean into it when Astarion starts inching into his personal space.

It's quite comforting, knowing he's got Astarion by his side, that he doesn't have to face this alone - he's not facing it alone - just the fact that Astarion there is a comfort to him. It's also quite validating, seeing Astarion so angry on his behalf. And maybe, perhaps, it's a little bit endearing. Certainly Astarion cuts a pretty intimidating figure, it's hard to deny that, though there's part of Wyll that can't help but be reminded of an angry stray cat, puffing up and growling at whoever got too close. More than once he has to stifle a grin at the mental image.

[pupmkincake2000]

So, after finishing Gale's origin, I think I'd play Astarion's. Don’t get me wrong, but it’s interesting for me to watch the romance with Gale from Astarion's POV, from the very beginning to the very end, because after reading some fics, I realized that I had never seen such a plot before. I mean falling in love with Gale right away, and not after all the events are over. That would be an amazing slowburn.

What do I mean, you ask? I noticed that when people write about this couple, it often comes up like this: Astarion is usually in a relationship with Tav, but when he/she/they reject him (remember the opportunity to remain friends with him, right?), Gail, according to the plot, usually invites Astarion to settle down in his tower and feelings arise later. Even if they flirted with each other before.

And although such stories are well written and interesting to read, I can’t help but feel that there’s a certain… wrongness in such a relationship? I mean, Astarion gets everything right away without doing much, home, a handsome lover who takes care of him and will do anything for him, yet Astarion himself does nothing to get anything of these after the game ends.

People usually justify this by saying that he has already suffered enough and deserves all the best. And I agree that yes, he really deserves it. However, I believe that in this case he achieved nothing on his own. He saved the world, yes, he killd his master, yes, but still... it happens when he has his friends around who would support him and a lover who he seduces for this particular purpose.

Of course, by this point he may already be in a full-fledged relationship, but it all started with a specific goal, right? And don’t think I hate him, I don’t, as I don't blame him for anything, anyone in his place would do everything to get at least some protection and hope for something better. I don’t know if I can explain what I mean in a best way, but I'll try.

Astarion simply moves in stories from under the protection of one lover to another. And usually in such cases, Gale insists that Astarion doesn’t owe him anything… and here I also agree, but in this case the question is: what did Astarion himself do to deserve all of this? Past suffering, it seems to me, is not a sufficient reason to give him everything at once and it doesn't mean he has to suffer more or anything. That is, as soon as Tav breaks up with him (or he with Tav), Astarion falls in love with the one who turned out to be as kind, more generous, who never demands anything in return. And there is, it seems to me, something not quite right in this.

What am I getting at? I would like to see Astarion's story, from a POV of a person who undergoes development, not just getting everything the best as a reward for his suffering. For example, I would like to watch the story from his point of view, when he falls in love with Gale, and for the sake of this love he begins to change, fight his traumas, outgrow them, because he realizes that, perhaps, for the first time in his life, he has fallen so deeply in love.

Without a relationship with Tav (I don’t like it at all when Tav is in the plot, they seem too unnecessary), but independently decided to change. And I want to say right away that by the word “change” I don’t mean anything bad, since he still changes when the player has a romance or friendship with him.

But for me, for example, it would be interesting to observe these changes, this growth, the struggle with traumas because of his love for Gale. Because there is someon who he cares about, not just about himself.

Let's be honest, Astarion is more a taker, Gale is a giver. Sometimes such relationships work but not always. Some people love to give, some people prefer to take. But I do not think it would work for them.

I see them as equals. Or at least are trying to be.

And yes, it can be love from the first sight (why not?), or the relationship can begin quite like in canon: with manipulation and seduction (tho I've never seen a fic in which Astarion falls in love right away), but then the realization comes that this is not just a hook-up that means nothing, but a connection that means, and not just to get someone as an ally who would help kill Cassador (after all, you can kill him simply by being friends with Astarion).

Although love at first sight from Astarion's perspective would be quite interesting, since Gale does not seem at all like a person who is easily manipulated and seduced.

There is something incredibly attractive about experiencing the whole story of this love from beginning to end (and despite the slowdown, they can still sleep with each other), and only then, when the final battle is over, they can go to Gale’s home together , but not because Astarion has nowhere to go and he again risks being left alone, but because by that time he and Gale will already be in love and confess their feelings to each other (I think it will be even more interesting to watch from Astarion's POV), and therefore they will no longer imagine their life without each other.

It will all look even tastier if it all happens long before the final battle, because Astarion will already have something to lose.

I want Astarion to try as hard on the relationship as Gale usually tries in fanfiction to heal his injuries. But I have almost never come across stories where they both worked on the relationship and healed each other equally. In most stories, unfortunately, Astarion gets much more, with almost no effort (we are not to talk about his past suffering), and this is just frustrating, as if he is not able to build his happiness on his own.

Someone may mention his traumas again and I understand perfectly well that not everyone can overcome their nightmares alone. But that’s why I mentioned that I would like to see how both work on relationships. In the game, Astarion is the one who takes, and Gale is more the one who gives (which I've already mentioned), but I would like to see equality, so that both give and take equally. And from Astarion's perspective, this would be incredibly interesting to watch, mainly precisely because he is the one who takes, he isn't used to give, but for his beloved, at least when he realizes he's in love, he would want to do more. To be more than just a taker.

You don't have to agree with me. But this is how I would like their relationship to be.

Oh, one more thing

I see Astarion as someone who tops, I do not mind switching, but top Astarion and bottom Gale sounds nice♡( ◡‿◡ )

[iamjucie]

Pet (18+) pt. 1 of 4

photo credit: @yabishrihere

Ascended Astarion x f!reader

Chapter One: Thinking

Summary: You have been the Vampire Lord Astarion Ancunín's Dark Consort for as long as you can remember. You don't remember much of your life before this undead life you live, but you do know you have a purpose. Obey.

WARNINGS: Smut, Extremely dubious consent, Mind control/manipulation, Orgasm control, Abusive relationship, Stockholm Syndrome, Physical Abuse

I do not say this lightly- Astarion is evil in this. This is an extremely toxic relationship. You have been warned!

(AO3 Link)

You are sitting in the lavish master chamber of the ornate palace you call home. Gazing into your reflection in the vanity mirror combing your unnaturally long black hair, getting lost in thought. It’s really all there is to do when Master Astarion is away on extended business trips like this.

It does help, too, that before he left he told you to think of him while he was gone. It was a command. So you obey. And you think.

You’ve been the Dark Consort of the Crimson Palace for you don't know how long. Time started to blend together around the first century of your undead life. Around that time, you had suspicions that Astarion may be dulling your mind with his power over you.

Yes- that’s right. You began questioning him about when he would grant you a drop of his blood like he said. That’s when-

Suddenly, your mind falls blank.

Wait…What were you thinking about again?

Right. Astarion. Your beloved Master who has taken care of you in all ways. You have everything you can ever imagine. You are so happy here.

You know somewhere in your mind that you were once a very powerful, talented Cleric reigning from Nimbral. Before you were the hero of Baldur’s Gate, you spent your time traveling The Forgotten Realms tending to the sick and needy. A mere blimp in your immortal lifetime. And feigns in comparison to what you do now as the consort to the Vampire Ascendant.

“Hero of Baldur’s Gate” rings in your mind for a moment. A title that hasn’t been used in reference to you in lifetimes. You almost forgot you had a life before the Crimson Palace. Before Cazador saw that Astarion was a far more suitable candidate for the rite of Profane Ascension than he. A life before you and Astarion took down the all powerful Netherbrain, saving Baldur’s Gate from impending doom.

You believe there were others there with you, but the memory of their faces is dull. You used to write letters to them behind Astarion’s back, you recall. Once he caught you doing it, they dissipated from your thoughts. He began limiting you from contacting those outside the palace walls after that. He said he was protecting you from yourself. That they no one cared for you like he does.

And he is right. He is the only one who knows what is best for you. Damn, you lost your train of thought again.

You were reminiscing…

Yes that’s right- when you and Astarion single handedly took down the Netherbrain, you were a very independent person. Did everything alone and didn’t answer to anyone. What a fool you were, to think you can exist without someone to serve. Without him. To think you can survive alone. You’re happy you’ve learned your lesson. Master is a wonderful teacher, after all.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the multitude of locks on the chamber door being undone and jump to your feet. You brush your hands down your sheer red nightgown, smoothing out any imperfections before you're finally where you belong. In the gaze of your beloved master. You tremble at the thought of being in his vicinity again.

The door swings open revealing the magnificent form of a man that you have the honor of belonging to. He’s well kept with the most extravagant of garb, ornately decorated with the finest of gold beading and elaborate designs positioned in a way that compliments his flawless physique perfectly.

Your master begins to saunter into the bedroom where you are awaiting his arrival.

“There’s my perfect pet.” Astarion says as he approaches you with a predatory intent visible on his face.

He is expectant. And right to be. Your connection as master and spawn grants him full, unadulterated access to you. Your mind and body, his to command and compel at all times. And compel he did. During the entirety of his business trip he planted the seeds of lust into your mind. What he wants to do to you, what positions he will have you in, what he will have you do to him. All engraved in your mind like a mantra. A prayer to your dark God.

All along with the command to not pleasure yourself and not to orgasm until he commands it. You had no choice but to obey. But it was fine, this is all the routine at this point.

The first few times he had done this dance to you, you had been angry. You had been furious at him for putting you through such agonizing pain. You saw it as torture then. How adorably ignorant you once were.

No, this is no torture. He is doing it for you. He is but preparing you for him-the way in which you belong.

His slender hands graze your hips and his touch sends an electric bolt through your undead frame so strong that it draws a moan from your mouth.

“Tsk..” Astarion looks down onto you with an exaggerated face of pity “Seems I may have left you basking in my absence for a touch too long. If a brush through fabric is enough to have you scream for me, that is.”

You feel a wave of shame rush over you. Gods, how stupid could you be. You're pathetic for such a shameless display of your desperation. The feeling that you may have disappointed your master has made you feel like you deserve to be in the lesson room for at least a tenday.

Astarion places his hand under your chin, gently directing your gaze into his eyes. “That's exactly the way I want you. You are perfect. So very eager. And…” he moves his grip from your hips to graze the outside of your folds, “...oh so ready for me.”

He was right. You were drenched beyond comprehension, your fluids one more touch away from dripping down your legs. Having your master’s approval sends a wave of euphoria through you. One that no potion, no charm spell, no mushroom spore from the darkest of the underdark, could grant. How lucky are you. Your master is so kind to allow you such a feeling. You almost feel satiated. Almost.

“Oh Master, how I’ve missed you so.” you cry out, almost sobbing.

He moves his hand from your heat to the small of your back and the other to the back of your head, pulling you into a tight embrace. “Shh…” he coos, gently scratching your scalp. You start to sob into his shoulder. So overwhelmed with emotion that the only way to express it is to cry.

“Pet if you keep this up I might start to feel bad for you.” he scoffs while still holding you. “I love to hear you cry for me, but this seems a bit pathetic. Don’t you think so, dearest?”

“I-I know I’m-” you pull back and put your hands on your face. Partially to wipe your tears and partially to hide your embarrassment from him. “I’m sorry, Master.”

Astarion lets out a hearty laugh that makes you feel meek for a moment. “Darling, it’s okay! It’s not like you can help it.” he says as he makes his way to the bed.

You are confused but ultimately so overjoyed by the presence of your beloved that you don’t pay mind to it. Instead you focus on following him to the bed you share.

You watch in awe as he unbuttons and removes his coat to lay lazily on the mattress. He pats the unoccupied side of the sheets granting you permission to join him and your feet make their way to the bed. You lay on your side next to him, admiring his beautiful features. Thinking how lucky you are to belong to such a glorious creature as him.

He settles himself in, propped up into a seated position by the lushest, plushest pillows gold could grant.

“Okay darling, are you ready to show me how good you were in my absence?”

Your eyes light up and the underlying heat in your core grows exponentially. You nod with the enthusiasm of someone starved being offered a feast. You jump off the bed and begin to take off your nightgown.

“Not so fast,” your body freezes in place, limbs unable to move. “I don’t recall saying you could strip for me, little one. I thought you would have learned to behave by now…”

He’s right. You would have learned to behave, if that was what he wanted of you. You tried that once, toward the beginning of your undead life. Obeyed and did not do anything without permission. You did what he says he expects from you. You learned quickly that he doesn’t always mean the things he says. He began to grow bored of you. His business trips were far longer during the time of your complete obedience. You’ve fine tuned your behavior to be just the way he wants. Even if that entails enduring punishments. It’s worth it for his attention.

“Get back on the bed, pet. I decide what pace we move at, not you”

You hesitate, testing the waters of how he wants you to be. What kind of mood is he in tonight? Does he want you to be playful and a tease? Does he want you obedient?

His gaze remains on you, as you stay halted in your tracks.

“Now.” his eyes glow slightly with the increase of power over you. He entered your mind and you feel a sense of warmth over your thoughts, compelling you back to your previous position.

Obedient it is.

Next chapter: Boots

[smolgloves]

Not So Useless

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Summary: The gang is in the heart of the lair where they must fight the hag

Tw: Blood, gore, violence, mentions of sex, and near death experience

Despite the looming threat of facing a hag, Freya found a glimmer of joy in this dark cave. Tav.

They marched forward ready to strike anything that decided to jump out at them. Freya gave a soft sigh as she stared at Tav, there was just so much to admire when they were half the size as the others yet willing to take the lead to protect the group.

“It's cute, you know.” Astarion spoke in a hushed tone. “Looking at Tav like that.”

Freya snapped her head over to the elf, a puckish grin planted on his lips. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“There's no need to be coy.” He said with a breathy laugh. “You stare at them like a lovesick puppy.”

Immediately, Freya's eyes darted to Tav and the two women to make sure none of them heard what Astarion was implying, she couldn't believe he just said that out loud! “your eyes must be getting dull if that's what you see.”

The borrower's retort only fueled the teasing spark in his eyes as he gestured over to the unknowing halfling. “I don't blame you, Tav is a delicious treat; I would know, I've indulged myself.”

A tight knot formed in Freya's gut, her heart sputtered at the mere thought of them fucking. Was she… jealous? No, Freya was just annoyed that Astarion would bring this up all of a sudden. “Good for you.”

“Oh, don't be so tense, darling. I'm just trying to start a conversation.”

“I'd rather stay focused on the mission.” She said through tight lips.

Astarion scoffed. “You're no fun.”

“It's hard to be when a hag wants to use your people as potions.”

Astarion glanced over at the borrower on his shoulder, his quiet expression only made her grow more tense. “They cast you out, yet you still want to save them, why?” A scowl was painted on his face, yet despite the obvious disgust he voiced, there was a curiosity that lingered in his tone.

“Because they don't deserve to suffer from a hag.”

He gave a haughty laugh. “Really, because if I can't imagine wanting to lift a finger for someone who wronged me like that!”

“Of course, you wouldn't understand.” Freya gave a sharp exhale. “Not all of them are bad people, there's good people.”

“But did the good ones try to stop your exile?”

Silence hung in the air, Freya thought of her dear cousin, who voiced his opinion, yet didn't do much to stop his dad from making the call. Freya wanted to give Kes grace for not intervening more, but there was a selfish part of her that wished he would have told his father off right there! It wasn't fair, she has been more supportive of him than Uncle Eskel would ever be! Yet, he let this happen.

“That doesn't matter.” She quickly snapped back. “There was no stopping my exile once the elders made the decision.”

“And what makes you think your little leaves will be any different?” He shot a look so full of contempt it had Freya scrunching up her nose.

“Oh, why do you care?”

“I'm just wondering what you'll do if your little plan doesn't go over well.” He shrugged. “Where will you go if you never get accepted back to your colony?”

That was a scenario Freya had avoided thinking about because the truth was, she had no idea what she would do. Ideas flitted in her mind all at once, she could always live near the outskirts of the border, then she could at least see Kes. However, the outskirts weren't exactly a safe place to live especially with Goblins and gnolls roaming around. There was always the option to travel and see the world like her father used to, but not only is that dangerous, she would have no one to share the journey with. Defeating the hag and delivering the Aixosfeaf to the colony had to work in favor!

“Hold it.” Tav commanded quietly, making everyone stop and hold their breath. A shrill voice was spewing curses in the distance. Everyone crouched down and pressed forward, the shadows becoming their cloak as they reached an opening. Mushrooms of varying sizes cluttered the pit of the cave, with moss that lined the walls and plants sprouting from the dirt, had the circumstances been different, Freya would have been ecstatic to be in a place that grew such an array of herbs, but the writhing old woman kept her focused on the mission.

“Vile, wretched worms!” The hag wailed out as she plucked herbs and mushrooms that gathered around the area. Freya took note of the plants she grabbed, no doubt she was trying to make an elixir to aid her severed hand.

The group split, with Shadowheart stalking off in the shadows, past the hag without a trace. Karlach and Tav seemed to stick together, hiding behind boulders, but Astarion veered away from everyone, sneaking over to a rocky perch that clung to the shadows. It was the perfect spot to stay hidden while also keeping a tiny woman safe from the action.

As Astarion stayed crouched, Freya kept her eyes on Tav and Karlach, they approached the hag cautiously with their weapons ready the moment the vile wench tried anything. However when she eyed the two, she ceased her agony to throw on a menacing glare.

“Think you'll finish the job so easily?”

Tav gave a short laugh. “I've fought one too many hags to think a wounded hag would be any less dangerous.”

“You're smarter than you look, halfling.” The hag smirked. “Too bad you weren't smart enough to leave when you had the chance.”

Snarls from those redcaps echoed down the tunnels and soon a swarm of the vicious fey circled the two. Tension built up in Freya, she counted at least ten of those things, maybe even more! Tav and Karlach may be tough, but could they take on a whole swarm?

“Detono!” Tav thrust their hands forward as they spoke the words. A boom erupted and several of the redcaps plus the hag were thrusted back!

From the shadows, on the other side, Shadowheart shouted a phrase that sounded like Silentium, and a purple aura surrounded an area of the cave. Freya was about to ask what the cleric did but she got distracted by Karlach charging in swinging her greataxe at the hag. She staggered back trying to avoid being sliced to bits by the barbarian. Meanwhile Tav took on several redcaps at once, knocking them back with ease! However, Astarion drew his bow and shot at a redcap that seemed to be running away.

“What are you doing?” Freya snapped. “You're going to give away our position!”

“I'm trying to make sure Shadowheart keeps the spell up!” He retorted as he hopped down from the rocky perch they once were stationed at. “If her concentration breaks then that bloody hag is going to be able to use spells!”

The spike in adrenaline heightened the borrower's adrenaline, watching as several redcaps stopped their fight with Tav in favor of the woman in the shadows. Astarion chased after them, running into the dome that kept the area magic free. Borrowers weren't versed in magic but even Freya felt a change in the atmosphere, shouts from Tav sounded miles away. She turned back to see a look of shock written on their face; one that would've held her gaze if a sudden lurch hadn't caused Freya to nearly fall from Astarion's shoulder. She grabbed onto his collar, scrambling to keep herself from losing balance, Astarion had stabbed the redcap in the back, making it go limp. He didn't give the borrower on his shoulder a chance to catch her breath before he bolted off to the next one.

This redcap turned back to counter Astarion's attack with its sickle, swiping at him in an attempt to slice open his belly. Fortunately, the vampire was quicker than the redcap but he couldn't seem to land a blow as the creature creature was aware of his tricks.

Finding her footing, Freya was able to sit up and slip the leather collar between her under arm and torso, keeping her somewhat stable during the erratic movements. It was an awkward position but it was the best she could do as she gripped her peashooter and aimed for the redcap. Once it got dangerously close, Freya shot a pebble towards it, hitting it square on the nose.

It staggered back, letting out a howl before being promptly cut off by Astarion as he slashed his blade across its throat. There was a pause from him as he glanced at the dead creature, blood pooling at his feet. “Seems like you're worth more than just being hag bait.”

Freya rolled her eyes. “Just try and keep your shoulder steady!”

“I'll do my very best, darling.” He gave a cheeky grin before making a mad dash to the next prey.

Pride swelled inside Freya's chest when she caught a glimpse at him. Astarion could throw a hundred backhanded compliments her way but it didn't hide the approving look that fired in his crimson eyes.

Astarion's blade pierced another redcap in the back. Just in time too, as it had Shadowheart cornered. She glanced at her ‘saviors’ before shooting a radiant bolt at an enemy.

“I don't think this is keeping her safe.”

“No, I'm keeping you safe.” Astarion fired back with a smug tone that matched Shadowheart.

“I'm fine, anyways.” Freya scoffed, keeping watch for more redcaps.

“See, she can handle herself.” Astarion gave a short laugh. “I'm not sure why anyone doubted her abilities.”

“Careful Astarion, keep talking like that and you may yet like her.” Shadowheart said teasingly.

“It'll take more than a few lucky shots for me to ever like a borrower.” A haughty laugh erupted from him.

Freya broke her gaze from the battlefield to glare at the vampire. If they weren't in the middle of a fight, she would absolutely swing at that smug face of his!

“Look out!” Karlach's voice carried over to the three. A redcap had broken away from Karlach's range and charged after them with terrifying agility. It lunged forward and Astarion only had a split second to duck away. While he and Freya got lucky, Shadowheart was not and got her arm sliced by the sickle. She cried out and in a moment the spell silencing aura disappeared.

“Gods damn it!” Growled Astarion as he backstabbed the last of the redcaps.

There was a chilling laughter from the hag, Freya snapped her head in her direction but she was nowhere to be seen. Dread washed over her as she felt like a sitting duck about to be hunted.

“Keep your guard up.” Shadowheart warned.

Despite her hammering heart, Freya scanned the area for anything out of the ordinary. The battlefield was eerily silent, with everyone remaining still as statues. She briefly glanced at Tav, who looked like they were ready to dash over to her and Astarion, but the borrower broke eye contact when she noticed a large mushroom that seemed to radiate a sickly green color near the halfling. It took a second for her to realize that was Deathsbreath.

“Get out of there, Tav!” She shouted but it was too late, as spores erupted from the mushroom and sent Tav tumbling forward, coughing up bile. The hag revealed herself to lunge at Tav, only for Karlach to rush up and swing her ax at her. Shadowheart and Astarion rushed towards Tav, helping them up.

“I'm alright.” Tav waved off Shadowheart's healing spell to look up at Astarion. “Get her out of here, now.”

“Hol-!” Freya’s protests were cut short by Astarion making a mad dash for the exit. She tugged at his collar urging him to turn back, he didn't even bother to give her an annoyed glance. However, he stumbled to a halt, snarling a bunch of profanities towards the ground. Freya followed his gaze to find twisting vines wrapping themselves around his ankles. He took his dagger and began slicing his way to freedom but for every one vine that was torn away, three more snaked their way around the vampire's limbs!

“Get out of here while you still can!” He ordered.

“I'm not leaving you guys behind!” Freya snapped, she frantically searched for an opportunity to free Astarion. “Maybe I can help!”

“The hells you can!” Astarion bared his fangs at an attempt to scare her into listening. “Don't be stupid!”

“Didn't realize trying to save you was stupid!” Freya sneered, pulling out her tiny dagger in a futile attempt to slice the massive vines. A vile screech from behind broke her attention, Freya turned to see the hag charging at them with her claw-like nails out to attack. The borrower screamed and squeezed her eyes shut, pressing herself into the cold neck of Astarion as a foolish attempt to protect herself.

Then…. nothing. Freya blinked a few times, before finally looking over to where the hag was. To her shock, she stood a few feet away, that menacing glare no longer aimed at them but instead at Tav, who stood in between them. Blood dripped down from their side staining their robes, as each breath they took became shakier.

“To think Ethiel was bested by you.” The hag spoke coldly. “Did you really think sacrificing yourself for those two would prolong their lives? That I wouldn't toss you aside and tear their innards out?”

To the surprise of everyone, Tav responded with a weak laugh. “Did you truly think…. saving them was my only… reason for doing this?”

Using all their strength, Tav thrusted a fist forward into the hag's chest, their hand slicing through like a knife to butter. Blood oozed down their arm, and the hag stared down at the tiny monk in horror. Then her face twisted in pain the further Tav seemed to reach into her chest cavity. Finally, the hag staggered back, clutching the wound in an attempt to stop the blood from flowing out. She dropped to her knees, never breaking eye contact with them. “You… fool.” The hag uttered before finally collapsing on the ground, letting out a final breath.

Once they knew she was dead, Tav stumbled back, wheezing out each breath.

“Shit! Tav!” Astarion scrambled out of the now shriveling vines and rushed over to the halfling. He wasn't even trying to be careful with Freya on his shoulder, but she couldn't blame him as she was ripped out of her shock when she laid her eyes on Tav. Their dark skin grew pale and their eyes were bloodshot, Freya wasn't sure if they were hurting more from the deathsbreath, or from the blood loss, but it was clear. Tav was dying!

“Bloody hells!” Shadowheart exclaimed as she ran up to Tav with Karlach. She quickly knelt down to heal them. “Stand back, I got this.”

Before she could even lay hands on them, tremors made everyone stumble, Freya had to grip onto Astarion's collar to keep from falling off. Stalagmites falling from the ceiling and rocks tumbling forward, the ground cracked around them. The hag may have died, but she wasn't going to go without taking her killers with her.

“Let's get out of here first!” Karlach shouted.

Astarion wasted no time pulling Tav close to his chest. His arms shook as he stood to his full height and ran. He kept his eyes on the two women who were already heading for the exit, but Freya just stared down at Tav. Their eyes squeezed shut. Would they even have time to get out of this crumbling cave before they succumb to their alignments?

Her thoughts were immediately silenced as the quakes intensified and made the quick footed vampire stumble forward. Then the ground cracked underneath his feet and shattered. Gravity did its job in pulling the three down the open cavern, Freya's heart lodged itself in her throat, sealing a scream that desperately wished to break out. All she could do was watch in horror as darkness shrouded the three and they were swallowed up by the earth.

[loquaciousquark]

Okay, if I want to have any kind of a good time in this playthrough, I have got to figure out the differences between these two characters in my head. A bunch of character rambling under the cut.

Tavish: rogue, survivalist, starts the game off very self-centered not necessarily out of a desire to have more than others, but because she knows if she doesn't take care of herself first, absolutely no one else will. Grew up in Baldur's Gate in a loving family with a younger brother who all died (I think of plague) when she was about ten or eleven. After that she was sent to live with her mother's sister, who absolutely hated having a kid kicking around her place, and spent most of her time drunk as a skunk and scamming the tourists & hoity-toity in the city.

Aunt used Tavish pretty regularly as a participant/face/distraction in these scams & that's where she picked up her light fingers. Aunt was violent in her drunken rages, & when Tavish was about fourteen she killed her aunt in self-defense. Hid the body and lived alone in the tiny (slum, probably) housing for as long as she could, hiding the fact that she was alone, until taxes came due and the whole story came out. At that point she took off on her own rather than go to some city-funded orphanage and spent the next several years living on the streets and trying not to step on the toes of the Thieves' Guild. Definitely got her bell rung a few times for picking the wrong target and wasn't quite good enough on her own to get into the Guild on her own merit. Once tadpoled, has lots of imposter syndrome and has no idea why anyone's asking her to lead this group (obviously should be Lae'zel). Just does what she needs to for herself and lets the rest of them follow along with some bemusement.

However, discovers as soon as she has an ounce of real power/ability that she can't bring herself to be as selfish as she was, that she has a genuine interest in helping others she perceives as weaker and in need of defense. A lot of pity, a lot of "let me extend my hand back into the muck I just crawled out of." Still talking a big talk, still saying all the hard selfish self-centered out-for-myself things, but when push comes to shove does the right thing and doesn't really care if she's thanked for it. Good at the "big-picture kindness," lousy at the one-on-one right thing when she's got her hand in someone's pockets.

It's why the tiefling abduction in Act 2 hits her so hard--saving them in Act 1 was the first real big gesture of altruism she ever managed in her life, and it felt like suddenly it didn't matter at all. However, Karlach especially gives her a lot of guidance on what it means to be kind despite the pain, and it's something she actively works on and becomes a lot better at it through Acts 2 & 3. By the end of the game, a perfectly reasonably mostly well-adjusted person who has a good time and mostly does the right thing.

Relationship with Astarion: built on recognition of mutual artifice. She knows he's using her from the start, and he knows she's letting him do it--he's fully aware she just wants the distraction and she knows he's ingratiating himself & they're both fine making that sort of trade. There's definitely a tangible attraction that starts the first night he feeds; she's surprised at how into she is and likes knowing she was his first humanoid bite even though she straight-up dies, lmao. I think they both enjoy their mocking flirtations because obviously they don't need them, they're already getting what they want anyway: a good time, mind off bigger matters, assurance of mutual protection in a fight. Only much later do they realize they've caught feelings. His comes somewhere around the arrival at Last Light Inn when she's very upset about the tieflings, and he takes her out in the woods and uses sex to help her forget her troubles for a bit, and her genuine gratitude afterwards is what kind of flips that switch in him from casual FWB to something he actually cares about preserving.

For her, she starts really caring for him about the same time, but it's not until he says something in early 3 about wanting to protect her and keep her safe that she gets hooked for good bc she's never really had anything like that since her parents died. Struggles to recognize her worth in the group outside of her utility; probably struggled with having overlapping skills with Astarion and really tried to make herself charismatic and winning in conversations to distinguish herself from him. Ride or die by the Cazador fight and has no idea what to do with this certainty that they're not going to give up on each other anytime soon, but genuinely eager to have some kind of future to look forward to for the first time since her parents died.

Overall, symmetry in the initial fwb -> genuine care pipeline, affection expressed as needling sarcasm and insults, feral defense when one is injured or in serious danger. Parallels in one spending centuries trying to climb out of the shadows and the other trying to hide herself deeper and deeper in them.

Tavaea: I'm still very early in Act 1 (just ran through the owlbear cave and met the tieflings), but I think where I'm landing is that she's playacting good out of a desperate attempt to counteract the dark urges. Ferociously needs to be in control and has an unspoken expectation (which she doesn't know the source of) that everyone will fall in line behind her. Of course she's the leader--why wouldn't she be? Of course Lae'zel should stand down with Zorru--how dare she speak up in the first place? Genuinely doesn't understand that not everyone sees it this way yet & really is clashing with Lae'zel a bit here.

Not really interested in the altruism of the deed--more interested in that it feels like the natural counterbalance to her desire to slaughter. If she's good enough with her actions, she'll balance out her ledger, right? Basically reactionary goodness. Even though she doesn't necessarily believe in what she's doing, has an unquestioned expectation for everyone else to obey her anyway and doesn't understand why they keep having opinions. Definitely is so wrapped up in her own problems she's not noticing any other party members' issues right now--I think the vampire reveal is going to be a genuine shocker.

Expected arc: starts doing right things for the right reasons, I think probably towards tail end of Act 2. I've read just enough to know to expect some NPC death(s) with this background, but I don't know when they occur, so I'll have to see how this shapes the narrative (and is probably the single biggest reason I can't bring this to be my canon Tav). I'd like to use this death as a catalytic event but that'll depend on the timing.

Expected relationship with Astarion: a surprise mutual understanding of compulsion and dependence and the desperate search for freedom and real autonomy. I'm not yet sure how the first night happens motivation-wise; I don't think she's capable of being attracted to anyone as she is right now. I think honestly she's going to be bemused by him more than anything--why is he flirting with her when there are so many more important things to be worried about & focused on?--and I'm hoping she'll be surprised enough to not run screaming for the hills. I do think she feels the easiest around him so far, just because she thinks he's least likely to be repulsed by the urges in her head, so that might help her acquiesce even if she doesn't find him sexy yet.

Interestingly, I haven't found her willing to share the presence of the dark urges to any party members yet (I have everyone recruited but Karlach), and very interestingly to me Astarion is one she actually CAN'T talk to about the urges! So far only Gale, Lae'zel, and Wyll have options for her to confess, and she hardly knows any of them yet. She doesn't trust any of them to not try to do anything risky and definitely doesn't trust herself not to retaliate, so I'm not sure when she's going to get herself over that hump.

Okay. I think that can get me enough to start with. Playacting good in a desperate attempt to get control of her life and balance out the evil she's walking around with in her head. We'll see if she ever gets to the heart of things as we progress!

[des-no9]

8, 15, 27 for the BG3 character meme!

8: Who are they suspicious of?

Apart from the obvious-

Anyone that's...proud and loud with their kindness and goodness. It feels insincere to her. Despite Wyll being genuine of heart and doing his best, having his kind nature taken advantage of when so young, she doesn't really trust that good heart nobility type - it's mostly just a leftover scar from her past really. Comfort more in what she knows.

But saying that, she's also suspicious of Astarion, only because he's a fucking mirror to her. She knows him because she was/is him, and was groomed by someone like him, worse than him. In that vein, she also feels an affinity with him, a connection. But she has to be so careful with her relationship with him, because they enable eachother, in the worst ways.

15: What NPC's do they like? Which one's do they dislike?

Well, she of course latches onto a lot of the Githyankis. Beyond Voss, she has wide wondrous eyes for Ghustil Sturnugoss, for she sees something very familiar there. Curisoity, wonder, thirst for knowledge and where will it take me. She also sees this in Balthazaar. She'll never really tell anyone this, maybe bar her closest friends, lovers, but some of what she used to do back when she was under Nezarr, years in her cult, was a lot of what Balthazaar did. Seeking immortality, playing with life, unlife. Pushing the boundaries where you don't belong, and composing the hands of gods into your own.

Orin gives her a fucking headache (Vanquish you're such a hypocrite, you can be annoying as fuck too). She loves to mock the shit out of Gortash, but she actually finds him quite endearing and something in her feels like if she really wanted, if she pulled on the lessons Nezarr inadvertantly taught her about power, control, she could make him bend to her, too.

And that kinda scares her.

She thinks Barcus is a hoot! Vanquish loves to talk and thinks he's a sweet, clever, silly little guy. She respects him a lot.

Lucretious. Vanquish is a little starstruck over her, I think.

She's also a little uncomfortable around Dame Alyin, honestly.

27: What was their life like before the events of BG3?"

I've answered this already, but I'll post again!

Lonely, mostly.

Scared, a little.

She'd run away from which was, in essence, a cult. She was the leader's little pet project and special princess. And he'd been playing the long, long game. (Vanquish is a lot older than she appears, mostly because of patron powers and her cult daddy called Nezarr who was like a chosen/avatar of Y'chak).

After running away, her mind kind of...fractured a little. Memories lost - most specifially of Nezarr and who and what he really was and did. He'd made sure to plant that failsafe into her that everytime she successfully fleed from her bonds, she'd forget, but not all. What would linger was that the next time she sees Nezarr, a twinge of comfort stirs in her that she knows him, that he can protect her, she'll be safe with him.

And it starts all over again. For this wasn't the first time she'd gotten free.

But it is the last.

So, freedom. She's trying to make a new life once again (unbeknown to her), scared and lost and well, angry too. So fucking angry.

But...she's also excited. There's a whole world infront of her again. And she's going to make it hers, again. Rage, joy, laughter, love, fear, pain, hate - all of it, and it's hers now. Hers.

Everytime she escapes it gets harder for the failsafe to work properly, and then when she gets tadpoled, it really fucks with the magic he used on her and memories come flooding back in pieces, feelings lost, and so much anger. She remembers her anger now, and what kind of person she used to be, and well, is.

She's my morally grey baby and I love her so much.

[bardic-inspo]

🥺❌🤗 for the asks!

Thank you, lovely!! <3 <3 <3

I'm so sorry, I forgot I had this in my drafts for the longest time!!

[Fanfiction Writer Emoji Ask]

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Hmm, I'd say, the little unique gestures of comfort and/or protectiveness that started as something else, maybe even something hostile, but over time, without meaning to, become affectionate. And just, familiar in a way that's very cozy and homey.

For MacCready and Natasha, I think about Mac's nicknames for Nat, how "Killer" was meant to be mocking the first time he said it. Now, it's a tease or often a gentle reminder to be careful, because he cares that she's careful. It's also a statement of admiration to some degree. Or, when he says "shoulder" as a trigger for her to roll them back and fix her aim. What once was a critique has become a signal that he's always watching out for her.

There's some similar things starting with Astarion x Naomi that I'm looking forward to playing with more. Astarion, in his own thoughts, has pretty dickishly called her "Little Squirrel". That nickname might (will) take new, softer meaning over time. Naomi might have thoughts on it if he ever says it out loud.

There's also an exchange that came up for the first time in my most recent chapter, where Astarion asks her "Yours or mine?" referring to who gets to kill a guy. It's born out of bloodlust now, but it's something that will recur and become more of a battle couple/camaraderie sort of thing. (It's cropped up again in the evil power couple AU smut fic I'm writing for them, to which Astarion replies "ours.")

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Probably Omegaverse. No hate/shame, just not my cup of tea!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Write what you want. Write with abandon. Write so, so much. Absolutely fuck off with any notion of "is this good" and just let it pour out. You want to be a writer, and all you have to do to be one is write. Being a "good" writer (whatever the hell that means, sounds super subjective) will come later, probably on accident, piece by piece, over time, so long as you keep writing. You got this <3 <3 <3

And at the same time, it's a marathon, not a sprint. You can slow down and take breaks and come back to it. You and the story will often be better for it.

Also, someone somewhere is gonna be down with whatever you're putting on the page. Just 'cause it might not be one person's cup of tea doesn't mean it isn't good tea. It takes time, sometimes, to find your audience. You gotta keep tellin' the story in order for them to find it, but really, you have no control over when or if they do. <3

Also, you fuckin' got this <3 <3

[daughter-of-melpomene]

I got some questions for your Tav’s based on the ask game! These ones are for your Tav Amalal! The questions are 3, 16, 18, 22, 23, 28, 30, 41, 47, 52, 57, 68, 69 and the bonus 70, my bonus questions is what are some headcanons for Astarion and Amala once they finally start a relationship together?

Ahhhhh, thank you so much for asking about my cleric baby!! Answers are under the cut! (And I’m also gonna tag the BG3 moots @astarionbae and @reyofluke-ocs. <3)

What is your character’s moral alignment?

He starts out the adventure as Neutral Good, absolutely dedicated to helping everyone they can and understanding the need for authority but not truly respecting any except for his goddess, and ends it having shifted into Chaotic Good - by the time everything is over, they’ve realized he will pretty much to anything to protect the innocent, even if it means breaking the law and killing those who would harm others.

Which of the companions does your Tav trust most?

Already answered this here!!

Who is your Tav’s biggest rival?

Any followers of Lolth, really, both because of how they were raised as a Seldarine-sworn drow and due to his being a cleric of Eilistrae, Lolth’s daughter. They will do almost anything to dim Lolth’s influence on the world, and keep any more drow from falling under her evil influence.

How does your Tav act around their crush?

Amalal doesn’t really have any experience with romantic attraction before he meets Astarion, so a lot of the phase of them having a crush on him is trying as hard as he can to repress these feelings, both because they’re less important than the mission the party is on and because they don’t think that someone as beautiful and smooth as Astarion could ever truly return his feelings. Most of the time during which they have a crush on Astarion involves him hardcore blushing whenever the vampire is around, simultaneously craving his touch and shying away whenever they actually get it, and stuttering hard whenever Astarion flirts with him.

What is your Tav’s favorite moment they’ve had with their lover?

I think Amalal’s favorite would be the conversation they have with Astarion after Cazador is defeated and Amalal has stopped Astarion from ascending. That moment was the kindest he’s ever heard Astarion talk about himself up to that point, and the fact that it contained a big speech in which Astarion confessed his true love and admiration for the cleric made it a whole hell of a lot better.

What is your Tav’s guilty pleasure?

Amalal has always insisted on keeping their body clean and unpolluted, the most perfect vessel for his goddess they can make it… mostly. However, he definitely enjoys a good glass of wine every now and again, and even a pint of ale if it’s being offered to them.

How does your Tav react when someone insults their friend/partner?

The thing about Amalal is that, generally, he’s completely okay with allowing the people they care about to defend themselves if he knows they’re capable of it; they don’t always want to be stepping in and playing the hero if he doesn’t need to. However, they also know that if an insult actually gets to Astarion, which they don’t always, his lover will just make a little quip or joke to try to hide his feelings and not actually make it clear that he’s been hurt, and Amalal will not stand for that. So whenever someone insults Astarion, Amalal will not hesitate to give the person who gave the insult a vigorous tongue-lashing, filled with extremely clever and hurtful insults disguised in their usual polite speech.

What animal best represents your Tav?

I think I would say a lion, or at least what a lot of people associate with lions: noble, proud, and a natural leader, but also not afraid to fight to the death if he or anyone in their circle is threatened.

What is the most important item your Tav has?

A long, polished wooden staff, gifted to him by an old woman from one of the first towns they ever helped out as a walking stick. It’s a symbol, to him of their dedication to helping people in service of his goddess, and so they keep it on him and all times and would absolutely hate to lose it (as well as using it as a weapon when the occasion calls for it).

What is your Tav’s worst fear?

Before the whole adventure, they would have said that his worst fear was all the rest of the Seldarine drows converting to Lolth’s cult and embracing her evil. But after the party’s whole journey, their absolute worst fear is now losing the little family he’s made, and especially Astarion.

What are your Tav’s biggest insecurities?

Due to being on the road and alone for a lot of the time for so long, Amalal was deprived of a lot of social interaction and can often be pretty awkward and naïve as a result, which they’re often pretty insecure about. Another insecurity is being so dedicated to his goddess and their faith, as much of the rest of the party either worships different deities or doesn’t believe in any at all and he often feels a bit awkward about being so openly devoted to Eilistrae, which in turn they then feel awful about.

How does your Tav get along with each party member?

Amalal mostly gets along with everyone; he’s the kind of person you can’t really help but get along with. There’s definitely some tension between them and Shadowheart and him and Lae’zel for a while, since they and Shadowheart serve very different goddesses and Lae’zel doesn’t think much of Amalal’s consistent dedication to always doing the right thing (even though his morals do get a bit less strict as the story goes on), but eventually even the two of them realize how kind and genuine and likeable Amalal actually is, and they manage to become friends. Amalal also gets along with Wyll especially, since they can bond over travelling around a lot to help people and they’re both very dedicated, upright people committed to helping others.

What are your Tav’s other hobbies?

Other than helping those in trouble and praying to their goddess every day, Amalal doesn’t really have a lot of hobbies before getting kidnapped and infected with the Mindflayer parasite. After the party’s adventure, however, he takes up drawing as a way to help their mind relax, even if they aren’t very good at it, and also asks Astarion to teach him how to sew.

Some headcanons for Amalal and Astarion’s relationship:

Amalal’s favorite place for Astarion to drink from on their body is from his wrist; there’s something so intimate about it to them that he doesn’t even feel when Astarion drinks from their neck.

Every single day when Amalal prays to his goddess, they make sure to thank Eilistrae for bringing Astarion into his life.

Astarion’s favorite way to cuddle Amalal is lying on their chest with his head tucked between his beloved’s neck and shoulder, soaking in his warmth. Amalal likes to gently tease that he turns into a cat whenever the two of them cuddle.

Even years after they’ve gotten together, Amalal will still ask Astarion’s permission before every kiss or loving touch they give him, unless it’s a sudden thing to push him out of danger and he doesn’t really have a choice - they never want him to feel like his choices are being taken away again.

bg3 tav questions!!