#i thought i had at LEAST posted the ref sheets i had finished but i guess not

[astyr-art]

i think i forgot to mention on tumblr but back in february i bought the xp pen magic drawing pad! ive been using it a TON, but this is the first artwork ive actually finished on it. only took me a couple months LMAO. to be fair i basically never do a fully lined and shaded background, AND this was a cityscape. a super basic one, but a cityscape nonetheless. and my god, this turned out so fucking good guys. like holy shit. one of, if not the, best things ive drawn to date. idk what it is abt sonnie, man, he makes me pull out the big guns. only the best for my babie. fav oc privileges fr

two versions; first is how i finished it on the drawing pad, and the shading on sonnie looks perfectly fine on THAT screen, but too blue on the laptop, so the second version has a slightly altered colour to look better on my laptops screen. ah, colour displays, the digital artists arch nemesis

(and also ive redesigned sonnies horns. i liked the look of the old ones, but this just makes more sense. he do be rammin' shit. and now ive gotta update his ref sheet too rip)

[gumbootillustrations]

UGH I FUCKING FINALLY FINISHED THIS

so yeah, have the divine warriors of the second war of the magi!!

more deets n closeups under the cut :3

aph!! i like to think that although the incarnations of the divine warriors r generally pretty similar, they do have some minor differences. for example, whereas the matron of the first war of the magi (irene) had one of the sets of wings on her head covering her eyes, the matron of the second war (mcd!aphmau) has both of them held back. this is bc whereas irene had lost her humanity (and therefore the ability to connect with mortals), aph hasn't - and, therefore, her eyes are open to the struggles of humanity. additionally, i took a lot of inspiration from honkai impact 3rd for these designs - in aph's case, i was inspired by elysia's herrscher of human: ego battlesuit and how it looks like a wedding dress (which a lot of folks have interpreted as an expression of her love for humanity, which is smth i want to convey w aph).

i think my favourite part of aaron's destroyer form is his seal (the thingy behind his head like a halo). i wanted to rlly play into the whole destroyer/devourer aspect of his abilities and domains, and i thought a black hole would fit perfectly! it also sort of (unintentionally) plays into how i see the dynamic between the matron and the destroyer and how they're both mirrors of each other; whereas the destroyer, well, destroys (and his black hole devours everything in sight), the matron creates and nurtures (seen in how aph's seal is almost like a white hole). i also wanted his armour to look a lot like the armour that shadow knights wear, albeit without all the spikes and spines and whatnot given that he isn't a shadow knight himself (shad's destroyer form from the first war probably looks a lot more similar to traditional shadow knight armour).

i'm lowkey suuper proud of how travis's keeper form turned out (even if i had to go back right at the end n fix it bc i forgot to add his tail 😭). i wanted this form to sort of be a mix between a high mage and a rogue: whereas the keeper embodies knowledge and magick, travis himself is a prankster who relies on cunning and trickery to gain the upper hand on his opponents. as a result, he's the only one who doesn't automatically manifest a weapon when he shifts into this form - instead, i feel like he chooses to rely more on magicks and witchcraft during combat.

katelyn's design was lowkey the hardest to pin down. originally, i wanted to go for something that was suuuper inspired by roman armour and had a copper and teal/turquoise colour scheme, but it wound up feeling too magical girl-ish and i scrapped it. i've retained the roman inspirations, but i headcanon that her flames are so hot they burn blue, so i settled on a blue-and-white colour scheme w some purple elements. i think my favourite part is her gauntlets! i feel like she uses them as an extension of herself/another pair of hands to punch with. the blue elements also lean into menphia's association with the moon - in ashes, ashes, tu'la is based on the roman empire and, as a result, is where werewolves originate from, and with werewolves having such close ties to the moon.... yeah. i'll probably do a post on tu'la later on at some point.

my blorbo

garroth's design is probably the one that's changed the least, but i'll still need to update his ref sheet anyway. i don't know if i conveyed it very well but the sort-of wing-things on his back are slabs of earth that can be shaped into a shield - originally i had him holding a shield but i wanted him to look a bit more divine warrior-ish so i retooled his design.

the boy! i was tossing up between having vylad or dante fill the role of the wanderer, but i settled on dante as i feel like vylad fits better as a sort of weird guide sort of figure within the narrative. plus, i have a real soft spot for dante and wanted him to remain in the limelight a little bit - i love his dynamic with garroth and laurance and i wanted to explore that further. i sort of wanted to play into his whole red-and-blue colour scheme that we see in canon diaries, but bc kul'zak is a nature deity (specifically of the wilderness), i wanted to incorporate some greenery into his design. i hope i've done an okay-ish job here - overall i'm pretty happy tho, but i can't promise that there won't be any tweaks in the future.

this is a redhead laurance propaganda spreading blog and i Refuse to apologise for it. i'd like to think that laurance's original colour scheme is similar to his justiciar form - lots of beautiful reds and golds and oranges to match the flames of his father's forge - but after he comes back from the nether with a Severe fear of fire he switches to the greens and browns that he's known for in canon. eventually he slowly begins to reclaim his fire and returns to the golds and oranges that he's introduced with (haha colour symbolism go brrrrrr).

but yeah. the special interest is special interesting. let me know if u have any questions!

[dgdraws]

My art year in review!

I learned so much this year and made a ton of cool stuff! These are my favorites from each month, but it was so hard to choose. A lot of stuff didn't even get posted--I'll be sure to at least post the ones that made it to this list!

It's amazing to see how much I've changed and learned over this year, and to see the things that are emerging as part of "my style."

Here's to another year of delight, creation, connection and fun!

Some monthly reflections beneath the cut, but here's the highlights:

I participated in 3 art challenges, Artfight, OC-tober and Huevember.

I made fanart for the first time!

I created a piece I conceived of before I started drawing

Made some big breakthroughs in techniques and skills in April, July and November

January: My first branch into full character design, Rodd is the culmination of training on Hero Forge renders to make dnd portraits! I was doing this cool thing with neon rim lighting, I should bring that back!

February: I saw a piece on here with this amazing glowing effect, so I color picked it and experimented to figure out what relationship between the colors was making it do that! The answer was saturation. This rose is meant to be glowing from within, and I think I did a good job for my knowledge level at the time! As Chuck Tingle would tell us, it's beautiful because only I could have made it in that moment on the timeline.

March: I spent a million years on every detail of this one, it has at least 5 clipping overlay/saturation layers for lighting, multiple line work groups and I want to rework that background but! I never felt more accomplished than I did when I finished this one. I learned a lot, especially about things I could skip or simplify. And the symbolism really pops off ngl

April: I read Gideon the Ninth for the first time this month and I immediately needed to draw Jeannemary Chatur, Cavalier of the Fourth House, the worst teen to do it. She's the first fanart I ever made and posted! I also discovered a new pen tool with this one, which CHANGED THE GAME.

May: This one is an idea I had written down before I ever picked up the tablet and stylus. I thought I might commission someone to make it, the image of it came to me so clearly during our VTM session I just had to make it real somehow. Well I did it! This is one I will come back to redraw in like 5 years bc I love the concept so much. Also rife with symbolism and inside nods to the Low Kings.

June: I made a bunch of ref sheets in the run-up to Artfight in July. Caleb hadn't even been in my plans to upload, but I had time and inspiration! I will be uploading this and a few more of him <3

July: This is one of my faves from Artfight! This character is Blueberry, by way of OrchidEatsBread on artfight. I have still never played... rainworld? But I love me a slug cat. In July I drew a TON of people, it really drilled anatomy basics into me and how to get clothes looking like actual clothes a bit more. Also solidified some things I would consider "my style" at the moment, like no irises, and my approach to noses and mouths and fingers!

August: Another fanart for the Locked Tomb series, I never posted this!!! Will be rectifying that soon.

September: I got really into javascript and css this month, and I made this to be a landing page image on my neocities website XD I'll get back around to that eventually...

October: At the last minute, I discovered OC-tober and the prompts from @/bweirdart, a worthy follow up to the rush of Artfight two months previous. I developed so much stuff for the Low Kings, including this drawing/character, Amayah/Girl-Z, who has been a figment of my pintrest board for 2+ years.

Huevember: Chasing that OC-tober high, I found Huevember! I did not expect to actually do every day, but it proved to be an amazing exercise! I learned so, so much about color, discovered amazing new brushes and techniques and found I really enjoy working in those one day capsules! I loved a lot of the stuff that came out of this month, including my highest note post ever!!!, but this one is still my phone background and I'm maybe developing an OC world around it. We'll see what happens in 2024.

December: I got hit HARD with the writing bug this month, so this was my only choice for this month but I WOULDA CHOSEN IT ANYWAY. I unlocked something here that I'm really excited to visit again, in fact I'm working on a companion piece rn! This is also fanart btw, prepare for me to get even weirder about this guy in the coming months.

If you've read this far, thank you so much! I have so much fun writing these little reflections and making my posts on here.

xoxo, wren

[seasoningcityespercollective]

Hey everyone~ @bigenderteruki here!! I wanted to dive in and submit at least one oc of mine to this blog👍 i dont have a ref sheet, but hopefully the two fullbodies are enough?

So, here she is~ Seasoning city's very own ghost-busting magical girl Kitty Meow Meow!! (aka Mie Shigahara, an otherwise average 4th grader)

Main Info:

Name: Mie Shigahara

Alias: Kitty Meow Meow

Age: 10 y/o

Height: 137cm

Esper Ability: Psychic Empathy (always) Exorcism (only as a magical girl) Telekinesis (only as a magical girl)

Likes: Milk candy, magical girls (duh), playing the melodica

Dislikes: Green peppers, reigen

Backstory (warning for brief mention of injury and hospitalization!! ... And s3 spoilers lol):

Mie was born in Seasoning City, and has lived there her whole life. Prior to the events of the ???% arc, she was lethargic and lonely. During the ???% arc, Mie was injured. She caught a glimpse of ???%, believing him to be an evil spirit. While hospitalized, Mie has a dream that she meant to be a great hero.

After being discharged, Mie meets Whisker. Mie continues to think about her dream, and Whisker suggests she becomes a magical girl after the two of them watch Precure together. Mie dismisses this, as she believes she does not have what it takes to be a magical girl.

Some time later, Mie finds herself in a haunted underpass. An evil spirit appears, and Mie becomes frightened, remembering the events that had previously hospitalized her. Before she can come to any harm, however, Mob appears and exorcises the spirit. Mie is amazed by this feat, but Mob did not even notice she was there until he finished the exorcism. He walks her home and tells her to be more careful.

Mie is inspired by Mob, and decides to become a magical girl after all. She buys a toy wand with her pocket money, and chooses the name "Kitty Meow Meow", as whisker resembles a cat. She begins to exorcise spirits with her newfound power, but runs into Reigen while he's in the middle of an "exorcism". Mie realizes there is no spirit and tells the client this, causing them to leave irritated. Reigen is annoyed with this, and Mie is equally annoyed by Reigen charging for exorcisms in the first place.

After her first week as a magical girl, Mie declares her ultimate goal: To exorcise ???%, unaware that he and Mob are one and the same.

Interaction with OCs:

You can draw or write mie doing whatever with your ocs ^^ All platonic interactions are welcome. Just be sure to tag me, hehe!!

Just one final note: Mie has a toyhouse page with a lot more info than what ive given here!! Please give it a read if you have the time, the backstory was copy and pasted from it, heh.

Three of my other ocs also have pages up on there, ill probably submit them later in one post. Just thought Id do Mie separately first just to get the hang of things.👍

[stepswowdsen]

Sen's Rambles

Recently got a cute purple bow I started wearing. I got my ears pierced on Outer Science Day (8/31), coincidentally! I got some small cheap stainless steel star ones for now. After that, I'll go get some post earrings 🙏

The school semester started for me on the 4th, so I'll be busier and won't have the time to draw as often.

I'll try to keep up my posts of posting something everyday (or almost everyday) since I usually post stories right before I go to bed, art and/or rambles

I clipped my bow to my hair loosely so it doesn't tug on my hair but it almost fell off, so I'll also think about getting a bow with a scrunchy eventually too. Since I wanna wear a cute purple bow like Selena, but I still want it to be comfy. Right now this bow is still fine ^^

Cute purple Selena-esque bow 🎀💜 I got it cuz it reminded me of my wife

Admittedly I'm still thinking of what ship I wanna draw for my birthday on 9/12… I think it'll be posted late since I was mainly working on school work this week. I think it needs to be a Sen-core ship.

I was having a hard time deciding what ship I wanted to draw. I feel like it should be XanLena since Selena is my KHR OC (and beloved wife), but I'm also open to others too. I think I want to draw them in traditional Viet clothes as a redraw of my old XanLena pieces in the past.

I also considered drawing KuroEne or JuAli.

Since for JuAli, I've been sketching ideas irt a potential Tegaki fan-animatic with them. Particularly the Vocaloid Song crossover I thought of...

I also had some other ideas too of art ideas to draw with them! I wanna draw them in Chinese and Arabic traditional clothes, and then have them wear matching couple hanfu at some point.

I really want to make coloured doodle ship pieces for the rest of my ships that can match the quality of the KuroEne one I drew.

The expressions and colours are so good in my recent KuroEne art that I want to be able to match the same level of quality for my other ships too.

I've drawn KuroEne recently, so I wanna draw a ship piece with others. Though it'd be fun~ 9/6 Day is HaruTaka, KonoEne, and KuroEne Day, since 9 is Haruka/Konoha's Mekakushi Dan member code, and 6 is Takane/Ene's 🖤💛💙

Kuroha/Saeru is usually denoted as "XX" in merch since he's not apart of the Mekakushi Dan, but gets included as part of 9/6 by association.

Mr. XX

9/6 is 6 days away from my birthday, which is also Ene's MekaDan code. We were made for each other, wifey~ 💙 🤭 💘💞

Animatic Ideas

JuAli x Unfriendly Hater by Meddmia (illustrated by WOOMA)

JuAli x Wi-Fi Imagination Wild Boy by rerulili

KuroEne x Strawberry by Kashii Moimi (illustrated by SOMAZ)

KuroEne x Bougainvillea by Kashii Moimi (illustrated by Somaz)

Not a whole MV though obviously (at least not now), but an illust of them biting into a strawberry based on the Strawberry MV's illust.

Though I do eventually want to make tegaki fan-MV animatics for all of my ships. Just to name a couple. I have tons more ideas

Sen's Animatic Ideas

JuAli x Unfriendly Hater by Meddmia

JuAli x Wi-Fi Imagination Wild Boy by rerulili

KuroEne x Strawberry by Kashii Moimi

KuroEne x Bougainvillea by Kashii Moimi

Commissioning Arts

I've commissioned arts of XanLena and KuroEne from amazing artists, which I will post on main eventually ^^

I wanna commission JuAli and IdaTatsu too in the future, I'm just waiting on JuAli and IdaTatsu for now cuz I haven't finished drawing my character concept art ref sheets for them yet.

Because I want it to be art of them with my HC designs. I still need to refine my sketches and design Alibaba's outfit.

I'd love to commission LimGuda but Douman has a really detailed and complex complicated design so I think that'll be for the future.

[magnificentstrangerchaos]

‘To Do’ List (Summer of 2022)

So, I found the ‘To Do’ list I made at the end of June/start of July. It was shoved /as I anticipated it would have been/ among my other sheets of paper haphazardly thrown into a folder. 

I’ll go through all of the points and talk about how things have been going, adding things I have done along the way to make it look like I actually did more than I planned for my own pleasure. 

1. Fix Laptop

At the start of December 2021 my laptop started getting really sad. Like, bluescreens and tells me there is no Windows installed kind of sad. I took it to a place my dad usually fixes his laptops and I got a new HDrive and a new battery because the old one said “Goodnight” one evening and stopped working. It’s pretty good, well... better than it was before, faster too.

I might have to take it to the same place again. I tried installing Genshin on it once and it BS-ed. I uninstalled it and commenced with my work but it seems that ALSO if it overheats it bluescreens again. It’s been manageable, I have a fan and everything. All data is backed up. 

(Side note I have this USB flash disk that is really messed up and all my art files/refs are there. I need to fix it and get them OUT or else I’m going to cry. I didn’t have time to back it up before the last drive died and this was the only storage unit that could suck up all 200K of my files.... Don’t ask, I’m a hentai writer and draw-er)

I don’t want to push for a new laptop of any kind because a dream for a ‘FUTURE’ experience is to have an actual PC. Doesn’t matter gaming-intended or not (probably not) that inevitably means I need to find a permanent place to stay since it’s a hassle to carry an entire PC around. Two-to-three more years this buddy needs to survive. 

Might get a new keyboard though, literally anything side-bought so far would be implemented into the new boyo anyways. And as I name all my PC periphery, I will call the new keyboard Antoine (current one being called Antonio). Guess A’s run in the family C:

2. Fix tooth

At the end of my exams I thought I found myself a cavity. Turns out my teeth are perfect (according to the dentist) and it’s one of those small cavities that is fixable with good toothpaste and mouth-wash. To be fair, the mouth-wash I got (rec by the doctor) freaking does a whale of a job but it also tastes like every medicine you will ever taste at the time time. I’m 1/3 way through the bottle and it’s SO COOL because it’s the type that comes with a pre-installed cup. You squeeze it, fill it up, sip, do your thing. I’d buy it again. 

3. Herbarium

...

I mean... I got a couple new flowers to add. 

Petals of a rose a friend of mine got me over a sleepover we had; A tiger-rose from our garden (side note, I need to go pick some of its leaves because I only managed to harvest the blossom); A damascene rose; Two types of orchids

I think I’m going to spend a while just going through the entire book sticking rice paper between the pages where the flowers would go, just to have it over with. I’ll concentrate on it over spring when everything blooms anew.

4. Go out at least once a week

...

...

This is a personal attack

5. Go paint the seaside

Will do, that’s probably what I’ll be doing for the three or four days I’m there other than reminiscing stories/fics. 

6. Paint the mountains

I took photos of places I’ve been, so that will happen in the future as well. 

7. Finish the ZhongChi fic (Ch. 3)

Listen here, you little [redacted].

Alright, okay. So, I TRIED. ‘Dragon Gazing At a Sea Of Clouds’ was a great story, I really enjoyed writing it when I was in my Childe rut days a little before getting him in Genshin. Chapter 2 - ‘The Fox That Stole The Dragon’s Heart’ was also a success that I don’t even know how I came up with. 

This entire thing was a gag, a meme I saw someone post on twitter about regarding Zhongli’s magic portable onahole (it’s a fleshlight) being connected to Childe’s backside while he’s in a meeting with the Tsaritsa. I got invested. And then pretty much slipped out of it. 

I WANT to finish it, I absolutely do. I have an outline of what will happen - their Chinese-themed wedding, their wedding night, both tied up to each other, ears, tails and horns all out in display. HORNY hours, you know?

So, I really need some stimuli to get going. I’ve been unable to play Genshin for a couple months and while I’m obsessed with KNOWING about the game (I have it on my phone), it’s been hard to get inspired. I’m doing my best, I want it to be good. It just feels like I’ve been repetitive in other fics or I somehow accidentally wrote what I intended for ZhongChi other places. 

Call it deja-vu of an unfortunate writer. 

8. Edit ‘Aster Tataricus’

That’s a future project honestly. I wrote it in December/Over Christmas and the responce was SO GOOD. The person who inspired me, Wiann on Twitter is a gem and they still follow me. I also adore watching their works in general, they have their own writing done as well and it’s *bites fist*

9. Write Ch. 2 of ‘When The Owls Cry’

I still can’t decide if I want to make it ‘Owls Cry’ or ‘Owl Cries’, both have a meaning for me.

Haven’t gotten to that part YET either, but I did go back to Chapter 1 and I redid it after the event to feature the whole eyepatch secret and sending letters.

10. Finish ‘Lullabye For My Feeble Heart’

I usually never outline works and just write them out in one breath when I figure I want to, but this one is indeed outlined. I have the entire plot ready, each chapter sorted. All I need is to execute it, but as you can see if you read everything so far - I want to finish those that are on the VERGE of completion and then latch onto longer works.

11. Finish ‘Wish Whispered Upon A Star’ 

Aye... I recently posted the chapter before the last, so we count that as progress. I’ll force myself to finish writing out my missing lectures this week, so I can spend Saturday and Sunday on that (27-28/08)

12. Take part in 2022 MXTX BDSM week

I DID, but the last story is missing, because I took a hiatus due to personal reasons. You can find the series here days 1 to 6 available.

(Can you feel how happy I am for the easy access to hyperlinks? I borderline was forced to code to figure out how to insert stuff in AO3.)

13. Make the FengQing threadfic

Mmm... I wrote like.... two additional pages for it in my google doc and then scroll past it as if it’s a scratch that I want to itch but I just hover it instead.

14. Draw the Izora mural digitally

Haaahahahahaha.

I have to if things with CSP are getting as serious as they look. I can’t decide if I want to push around with art or press on with fics. Maybe I will take until December to complete whatever I have WITHOUT (lies) adding any new ones, so I can then concentrate on drawing again. It’s a pre-drawn thing on paper, but I want it digitally, because colouring would be so much easier.

15. Make new sketches for CandleHeart and Nyrian Thantis

I’m rather proud of those honestly. I want more portraits so I can use them on the different accounts. 

16. Write at least one fic with mermaids

I accidentally forgot about this and when I read it I was like “!!!” 

It’s on twitter, but you can check out the teaser here, because while it is complete in the sense of a thread fic, there is more that will be included in the final version that’s going to AO3.

17. Work on the VN maybe?

Yeah, this was a ‘maybe’ since the Visual Novels I have planned will be absolutely pushed back for until this problem with CSP has come to an end so I can know which programs to use and which tools to pick out.

18. Play League of Legends with M

WE DID AND IT WAS SO FUN, I love her. She’s a sweetheart. That’s all you need to know.

19. Read MDZS

I’m at... Book 2 maybe page 130. Book 3 came out not even a week ago, so I’m waiting to see which website is going to offer me that sweet, sweet money-sucking service of delivering it to me. 

20. Things I HAVE done as a side-project include

-I got to stock up on clothes I’ve been ignoring my need for.

-I ordered amazing stuff off Aliexpress and while you may think ‘How amazing CAN it be’, I’ll do a little show of them when they arrive. I’m really excited, most of all for the pins I ordered, because I want to stick out like a sore thumb with them.

-I finally bought my brother his birthday present. He’s been waiting for it for SO long. After I finish with my work tomorrow I should zoom to the other tech-shops I know are around town so I can get two more things I need and then I can proudly go back home.

-I set a goal to hit 40 fics by the end of the year, currently we’re at 34, so finishing the stuff above will probably skyrocket me above that number.

-I finally got a new phone case, needed that because the other one was falling apart.

-Got two new wrist-watches because I’ve had an itch to wear one since Autumn last year.

-I’m getting a third piercing on my ear in October.

[1-800-roflmao]

Wash Day Delight Pt. 4

Rating:  General Audiences

WARNINGS:  None

Fandom:  Undertale (Video Game)

Relationships:  Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Papyrus (Undertale) & Reader,  Papyrus (Underfell) & Reader, Papyrus (FSG) & Reader, Papyrus (Swapfell) & Reader

Characters:  Papyrus (Undertale), Reader, Edge (UF Pap), and Mentions of Other AU Skeletons

Additional Tags:  Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), reader is poc, Reader has curly hair,  Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Friendship, Wholesome, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, I'm Bad At Summaries, Not Beta Read, Romance if you squint, Subtext, Let Papyrus be Sassy, Edge Is The Unwilling Dad Friend, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Humor, Slice of Life, Teasing Edge Is Fun, Papy is Best Boi

*Split this chapter into two. Will be posting both today. Morning thoughts and Papy has a great idea! Tried avoiding using y/n as much as I could, but had to this chapter.

PREVIOUS || FIRST || NEXT

She would say morning came too quickly, but in all honesty, this was technically her second time waking up that morning.  Somehow, in spite of the tireless workout she had been put through the night before, she had woken up at the usual time right before her alarm--that was NOT set cause she turned that off with plans to sleep in today--would have gone off.  She’d spared a single, groggy glance at her phone’s clock.  The notifications lining the screen not even registering in her mind.  No, she’d get her well earned sleep in had been and without further adieu, she had put the phone back down, rolled over, and snuggled back in for another few hours of sleep.  

    That had been earlier.  Now, she blinked awake as light from the mid-morning sun sneaked through the slim openings of the curtains just behind her bed.  Blearily, her eyes followed the rays path across her form, her bed, and eventually over the floor where it seemed to highlight her shed clothes along with the open bathroom.  Right… she had forgotten to brush her teeth in her haste to sleep.  Rolling her tongue and opening and closing her mouth, she winced as she felt her cheek move against the now very cold wet spot on her pillow.  Well, at least that second round of sleep was apparently heavy and content.  

“Eugth…” Not that it made waking up in your drool anymore pleasant.  Trying to sit up resulted in even more groans as her muscles protested.  Yup, there were those core muscles that had been oddly silent yesterday acting up today.  Her arm she had tried to push up on had not been too much trouble, but her shoulder had twinged and she had gone back down.  She had managed to at least roll on her back and away from the drool pool though.  Positives.  Focus on the positives.  For a few moments, she just let herself completely relax into the mattress and pillows, just breathing--in and out, slow and even, again and again until all her tension dispersed. 

“They really did me in,” she mumbled as she began to roll her wrists, “But I’ve got too much to get done to be lyin’ around here all day feelin’ miserable.”  Too much considering her now very awake mind realized she had forgotten to wrap her hair, but thankfully she had splurged on satin sheets and pillowcases, so it shouldn’t be too bad.  Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, she didn’t get her wrap sweaty… “Still gonna wash it.”  By now, she had started stretching and working her shoulders with careful, slow rolls and reaches.  The more she moves, the more she’ll loosen up and actually be able to function.  She just couldn’t overdue it.

As she moved onto her legs, she couldn’t stifle a little moan of discomfort as she lifted one limb at time to carefully draw her knee in towards her stomach before extending again.  It took time, but eventually she was able to push herself up into a sitting position.  Muscles in her back, abdomen, and surprising what felt like her butt that she hadn’t been aware of protested, but a few more deep breathes calmed them.  Seeing her phone laying on the sheets near her, she guessed earlier that morning she hadn’t bothered to put the phone back where it went exactly, but current her was very thankful for her sleepy self’s carelessness.

Picking up the device, she decided to take a moment to rest before continuing her war against her body.  Besides, she could remember that she had messages to reply to.  Tapping the screen, she input her pattern and tapped on the messages app.  The first one she opened was Coffee’s.  “Oooh,” she cooed as she looked over the drawing once again with fresh eyes.  Last night, she remembered thinking the hairstyle was cute, but now she could see the little details he included, like his choice of including a custom undercut design.  Could her barber achieve that?  She’d have to ask, but for now.

(to JavaBoi)

Flooffie:  Good morning! 

Flooffie:  Sorry about not replying last night

Flooffie:  This hairstyle is so cute

Flooffie:  And the undercut design is SICK!

Flooffie:  In a good way 

Flooffie:  I’d love to wear it, but I’ll have to check in with my barber about the undercut.

She waited a moment to see if he’d answer, but no little dots popped up so she guessed he was possibly still sleeping or he was busy.  Most likely the former.  Leaving that conversation, she sent a quick message to her barber asking how complicated a design he would be willing to do on an undercut.  She hadn’t expected an answer, but no sooner had she went to click the back button, his answer popped up.  His answer surmised that he had done more complicated pieces, but it all depends on the design.  “Makes sense…” she mumbled before forwarding the doodle to him.   It took him a moment longer to reply this time, but his answer had her beaming: “Sure, just get a better reference.  Bigger too.” 

(to JavaBoi)

Flooffie:  I feel like I’m spamming you.  Sorry!

Flooffie: But I got with my barber and he said he could do it

Flooffie:  Just he needs a better ref

Flooffie:  Could you draw it bigger?  

Flooffie:  I’ll treat you!

        She included some pleading and heart emojis for good measure, even though she was sure he wouldn’t mind one bit.  Moving on, she opened up a certain someone’s convo, eager to see how he reacted to her last text.  A little laugh bubbled past her smile as she saw his reply, full of exclamation marks and a little pause between two of the replies.

(11:33 PM) Papaya:  ….

(11:40 PM) Papaya:  !!!!!!!

Papaya:  TOUCHE! ALTHOUGH I HAD TO GOOGLE WHAT YOU HAD MEANT

Papaya:  MY SKILLS AT PICKING UP THESE IDIOMS IS IMPROVING

Papaya:  WHO CAME UP WITH THESE THINGS?  WHY? WHY NOT JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN?!

(11:45 PM) Papaya:  YOUR LACK OF RESPONSE MUST MEAN YOU HAVE FINALLY GONE TO  BED

Papaya:  GOOD

(12:01 AM) Papaya:  SWEET DREAMS, (Y/N)

    Her amusement at how Papyrus could continue a conversation with no one there was overshadowed by the warmth the last text brought.  It was such a simple little thing.  It’s not like he had even called her a pet name, but it still had her flushing and turning her face away from the phone like that would somehow ease the heat.  Maybe it was because she could see the timestamp and knew he had taken the time to pick up the phone again after setting it down for a while just to send that message.  Was it narcissistic to think she was his last thought before he fell asleep?  “It’s too early to be this flustered!” she whined, the fingers of her free hand playing with ends of one of her braids, “All over a text that might not have any deeper meaning…”     

    After her little grumble, she did her best to ignore the sting the words brought.  One more deep breath, she turned back to her phone and the texts, allowing a small smile.  There was no sense in making herself miserable.  It was still a dear friend thinking of her after all.  

    (to Papaya)

Flooffie:  Morning Papi!  Hope you had sweet dreams as well

        Before she could start her next message, she saw those little dots pop up and chuckled.  Of Course he was up already.  

Papaya:   GOOD MORNING!

Papaya:   I DO NOT REMEMBER MY DREAMS, BUT I’M SURE THEY WERE GREAT!

Flooffie:  Just like you, eh?

Papaya:   OFCOURSE!

Papaya:   UM… HOW ARE YOU FEELING THIS MORNING?

Papaya:   NOT TOO SORE I HOPE

    She snorted at that before replying.

Floofie:   Like I got hit by a 18 wheeler in the fast lane and somehow survived to regret it.

Papaya:   ….

Papaya:   APOLOGIES

Papaya:   BUT ARE YOU COMPARING YOUR PAIN TO GETTING HIT BY A SEMI?!

        She could just feel his panic and knew he would start fretting through the text.  She felt just a little guilty laughing at his reaction.  Thankfully, it wasn’t too difficult to calm him down and assure him she was simply exaggerating.  No, he didn’t need to take her to the hospital.  No, he had not broken her.  At Least as far as she knew he hadn’t.  

Throughout, she had slowly worked her way to the edge of the bed and now sat with her legs hanging off.  In between texts with Papyrus, he opened a few of the others.  One was Edge checking in with a reminder that she shouldn’t over exert herself.  She went to send a little thumbs up, but paused and instead juggled between two responses.  Which would mess with him more?  Biting her bottom lip, she finally settled on one and quickly sent it:  “Yes, Daddy~”.  Knowing Edge, he was up, but wouldn’t look at the message until he had a moment, so she closed the convo.  She could see the damage later.

More puns and jokes which she graced with appropriate responses: groans at the especially bad ones and chuckles at the ones that were actually clever.  She of course made her approval known with quick little texts and gifs; the bad ones received the same treatment.  None of it was mean and to tell the truth, it only fanned the flames for these gremlins as she had learned.  They seemed determined to dig up the worst puns they could manage.  By the time, she finished replying, she had made it to the bathroom and was finally taking care of her dental hygiene.  

Her phone now dinged instead of buzzing with each new text.  Most of which were from Papyrus she assumed.  Toothbrush in her mouth, she picked up her phone and opened the texting app again as she resumed brushing with her other hand.  She had been correct.  A line of texts from her friend popped up on the screen and they ranged from bringing up his question about idioms from last night to checking in that she was actually taking the time to rest.  She thanked the stars that her phone wasn’t on the larger side as it allowed her to hold and type with one hand.  

Flooffie:  Decided to make today wash day since people are INSISTING I rest.  Was due for one anyway.

Papaya:   WASH DAY?  YOU HAVE A DAY DEDICATED TO WASHING?

Papaya:   I THOUGHT HUMANS PRUNE IF THEY ARE IN WATER TOO LONG?

She let him get out all his ponderings and ramblings, which took a good minute, before she finally jumped in.  Although she’d love to convince him it was a secret, sacred holiday and ritual that humans have to partake in a few days a year for… reasons, she fought down her inner prankster and cursed Cash for his influence on her.  

Flooffie:  It’s nothing elaborate… kinda?

Flooffie:  It’s just that people like me tend to have a lot of hair and it takes time to properly care for it.

Flooffie:  So, we make a day of it.  Chill and relax, pamper ourselves, etc

She was a bit surprised he hadn’t replied immediately and had actually finished with her dental routine by the time he finally texted back.  

Papaya:  SO IT IS A DAY DEDICATED TO YOUR HAIR?!

Oh, she hadn’t seen this much enthusiasm from him for her hair in a good bit.  As his texts came through, she felt touched he wanted to learn more and she was happy to inform him, best she could over text anyway.  There was another long pause in between his text.  Just long enough for her to reach for her shower handle as she decided to finally take a shower and get started on her day.  Her phone dinged and Papyrus changed all her plans.

Papaya:  WHY DON’T YOU HAVE YOUR WASH DAY AT OUR HOUSE?!!

[idrawstuffidk]

Rose’s Ref sheet. This is gonna be a long post bc I actually have her story ready right here lol. It’s not the best but here it is. Sara Drisskle was a normal 16 year old, well, normal was an open term, she supposed. PTSD from years of unintentional neglect and emotional abuse from a mother unfit to care for her had taken its toll in making her a little less “normal” than most kids. But still, she was quiet, attentive in class, wore mostly black and kept to herself, so most people left her alone. Exactly how she liked it. There was one girl who could never quite give it up though, constantly picking on her and trying to mess with her, get her to lash out or snap. But most people had low tolerance for that. “Leave her alone, she's not doing anything” “This is getting old, Amy” “Just leave her be, no one thinks you're funny anymore” Needless to say, Amy didn't like her much, but Sara didn't care a whole lot. She was content on her own. Alone. Well, mostly alone anyway. Cindy was there. She was always there Cindy was always so clingy, always finding a way to make Sara smile, or laugh. Always finding some way to make her happy. But she never noticed that man in the trees. The tall man who Cindy swore was Sara’s overactive imagination. But Sara swore that man was there He was always there Cindy and Sara spent every waking moment together, always together. Sara wanted to go out for food? Cindy would go along. Cindy wanted to go shopping, she’d beg Sara to go with her. She desperately wanted to stay by Sara’s side no matter what. Sometimes Cindy tried to get her way, she got cocky and tried to force Sara to do everything her way. But then Sara would say those fateful words “Well, if you don't like what I'm doing, you don't have to do it with me” And Cindy would come crawling back, begging for Sara to stay with her, to be her friend again, begging and begging and begging. More than once she’d broken down in tears. What type of friend would Sara be to tell her no? Of course, once Cindy was comfortable again everything would start all over. She’d make Sara smile, make her laugh, talk to everyone in class and out of it, she’d go back to being that ideal friend who confused everyone with her choice in friends, or rather, friend. And then she'd begin having episodes again, zoning out, staring at blank walls, shutting down all emotions and acting out violently. Every time Sara would try, and succeed, to get away, but Cindy would come back. Sara knew she should just report Cindy, go to the police or just stop being her friend altogether, but then her Cindy would come back. She'd be back to her laughing, happy self that never failed to cheer Sara up. She’d be back to the ideal friend everyone loved, she’d be back to being that lone light in Sara’s traumatized life. The light she needed in her life. To distract her from the past, from the future, from the feeling of her stomach sinking, her mind breaking, and from the tall man that always watched her. So Sara would let her stay. A desperate bid to be happy. It never lasted long, but she always came back. She would always come back “Why are you running, Sara?” Cindy’s sugary sweet voice cut through the air like a blade, chilling Sara to her bones as she backed up against the wall. Eyes trained on the rusty shears held in Cindy's hands “aren't we having fun?” Cindy lunged at Sara, but she was to scared to move, too frozen to get away, her eye stared at Cindy’s blank face as she held the now bloody shears, Sara's left eye hanging from them. Searing pain tore through Her head, but she was unable to move as Cindy walked away, muttering something to herself and tapping her fingers. That's how Sara's parents found her. Her mother screamed. Shut up you fat cow Sara's mind raced back and forth How dare you pretend you know me she thought bitterly how dare you pretend you care Sara's eye went from side to side, desperately searching for a way out she's going to hurt me there was no time. she's going to hurt me again she was closing in. Run run run but now her mother had her fat, disgusting fingers on her, her horrible voice that made Sara want to hurl screaming for help. In the ER Sara got bandaged up, but refused to say how this had happened. “Are you ok, Sara?” Her dad asked “Fuck you” she had retorted. He blamed it on the pain medication, that might have been part of it, yeah, but right now Sara had half a mind to kill anyone who dared to get close. She couldn't trust anyone, they would only kill her, they were here to finish the job. “Sara, sweetie, let's get you to your room” one second, her mother was closing in, coming to hurt her, but her eye landed on the metal bat her father kept by the door ‘for if you ever get a boyfriend’ he had said. Sara's hand landed on the bat and before she had time to even think her hand closed around the handle and she swung, hitting her mother in the head, she swung again and again and again and again until her mother's head was a bloody pulp on the ground. Sara’s breath came in raspy gasps as she continued to pointlessly hit the red, sloppy looking lump. No time she thought there's no time there was no time for this, if she was down, she was down. They were going to come back for her, kill her for killing one of their assassins, he was watching he was there. She knew it, she could feel it. She ran to the room her father was in, her eyes laid briefly on the picture frame on the desk. She took a swing from behind him, cracking the back of his skull, he fell forward, colliding with the desk. Blood ran down his forehead. She beat and mashed the head again, and again, and again, making sure he wouldn't get up. Finally she stood up properly. They were dead She breathed heavily, gasping as adrenaline pumped They were dead The picture frame was broken They were dead? The glass of the picture was cracked They were dead A crack ran over Sara��s now distorted face They were dead Sara braced herself for someone to come from behind her, she looked outside, no one, she looked around the house, no one. She was alone. She ran her fingers over the ornate picture frames, and dragged her thumb over the pictures of her parents' faces. pictures that could never be taken again. Because they were dead. As time progressed over the course of a few weeks, the smell of rotting flesh coming from her parents corpses, of which she had not moved, began to fill the house. She had brought in flowers from the garden and used her parents credit cards to even buy them from the store when they'd run out to combat the stench. It only worked so much, but now that the house looked like a greenhouse, at least that was some form of distraction. She knew she should feel sad or guilty, but she only felt numb, she waited for the adrenaline to go down, but even when it did she still felt numb. She'd have to wait for the guilt to set it. In an act of desperation to rid the place of the stench she had cover the bodies in flowers. They were pretty, like flowerbeds. They covered up the smell some, too. The school was under the impression that Sara was sick, which was not untrue, but she could only send emails posing as her parents so long before someone would inevitably check in on her. So she did the only thing she could do, and returned to school. She hadn't seen Cindy in a while anyway. She was looking forward to having a little chat about what had transpired between them a few weeks prior. So she returned. She got some questions on where she had been, her answer remained constant “just very sick”, if you're going to lie, you may as well keep your story straight. So that's what she did, she couldn't shake the impending feeling of doom that rose from her gut to her chest when those familiar arms wrapped around her, though. “Sara!” Cindy's voice came like razor blades to her ears, mixed with rubbing sweet sugar into the wounds “I was wondering where you were!” Sara gave the same answer as always, she was about to retreat home for lunch before seeing the familiar head of long brown hair sweep through the halls. Not any greeting, not even any kind of acknowledgement. Just a blank face. Whatever possessed Sara to follow her could be damned to hell for all Sara cared, as she followed Cindy into the supply closet. Cindy's slim fingers wrapped around the edges of the ladder in the corner as she slowly pulled it over to rest under the opening in the ceiling, still not acknowledging Sara, despite clearly being able to see her. She climbed the ladder, pushed up on the trapdoor, and pulled herself through. Onto the roof. The cold air assisted Sara’s face as she dragged herself through as well, standing up and walking over to where Cindy stood, teetering on the edge of a 3 story drop. back facing Sara as she approached closer. “I knew you would come” Cindy spoke, her voice was emotionless as ever. “Don't you see?” She turned her head and torso to face Sara from over her shoulder, with her feet unmoving as she teetered more dangerously, her green eyes wide and pupils thin. “He's coming to kill me, I got away, so he's going to kill me” “Who are you talking about?” Sara asked, though she had a feeling she already knew. “You know who, you see him too.” Cindy didn't look at her, but seemed she could see if Sara were to run “he watches you, I escaped so I thought, if I stayed close to you, you would protect me” she finally looked at Sara, eyes wide and crazed as she seemed to stare at nothing and everything at the same time. “He doesn't want to take you for himself, so I was sure you’d protect me” “So you were using me, is that what you mean?” Sara asked, Cindy stared blankly, it was then that Sara noticed the crowbar that Cindy now clutched in her hands, Sara wasn’t scared anymore, not really, if she was about to die, might as well take one more person Down with her. Cindy lunged at her, Sara dodging out of the way and trying to run past her, she stopped, catching her balance on the edge of the roof. Turning around she saw Cindy spun around and lunge at her again,catching her fists in her hands Sara pushed back, no strategy could get her out of this one, it was a battle of pure strength and Sara was rapidly losing. Suddenly, Sara felt herself falling, her right hand tightened on the fists that pushed her and her left reached out to try and grab something, meeting the fabric that made up Cindy’s shirt. She gripped on, hoping that Cindy, through whatever trance she was in, would catch her balance and not let her fall, she held her breath. And a feeling of weightlessness came over her in the brief moment that she was falling, clutching onto Cindy, somehow their position was turned around and Sara felt the cold air hitting her face, she was falling, then, she heard a sickening crunch and felt pain shoot through her as she fell on top of the broken body that used to belong to her friend. With that, it was all over. She was bound to die, surely, she felt her consciousness leave her body and when she woke up, she was in a dull hospital room. She had to get out, of was only a matter of time before they found out that she was the one who killed her parents, strangely, the guilt still hadn’t set in. Was that cause to worry? Probably not. The fiery rage that built up inside her all these years had finally been released on three of the closest people in her life, she was in the clear, or at least, she would be once she got out of this place. There was no cause to panic. No need to be scared. Not even the tall man who continued to watch her. He was still there after all He would always be there.

[sketchesofsam]

The Illustration Master Class - A First Timer's Journal

This is a long blog post. It's mostly for my own purposes, but also for those who want an in-depth look at what being at the IMC is like. I have some pointers for first timers, things you might not think of and things to consider in advance. They'll be at the end of the article. I want to thank Dave Palumbo for allowing me to use a couple of his amazing photos too, he's a talented SOB. 

probably won't forget the moment my Facebook messages suddenly started pinging off. 'Congrats Sam!' 'Hey Sam, you won!' I distinctly remember thinking, hmm, what did I win? Did I enter another twitter giveaway or something? Then someone followed up with 'you won the scholarship!' It took me a moment. Then the chat I was in the middle of with my other half suddenly filled with lots of expletives and capitals on my end. Holy shit. I'd won the Muddy Colors scholarship to the IMC, something that had been a long-term wish of mine since I'd found out about it 5 or 6 years prior but hadn't ever had the funds to attend. So to find out that my entry to their scholarship program - through the generous donations of the Muddy Colors Patreon - submitted on a 'what have I got to lose' mentality that was still shadowed by the fuzzy sting of not getting into Spectrum, had scored me the full cost of the course. I'd honestly forgotten I'd applied. Let that be a lesson to those of you who hold back on submitting to things, especially the things that are free. It's always worth a punt. 

So what's it like to go to the IMC? I can tell you that winning the scholarship made the pre-IMC thumbnail assignment a lot more stressful than if I'd paid for it. The weight of imagining disappointing the people who had seen my work and voted for it - artistic heroes of mine -  was pretty heavy. It made me feel like I couldn't just go and do the same thing I'd always done, even if it had won me the scholarship. Before I started drawing, I reconsidered my influences. I'd started a secret pinterest board a few months back simply called 'Ho Fuck That's Good.' Stuff that gave me a gut punch when I looked at it. I spent a lot of time looking at those images and a lot of the others I had pinned. I stopped paying attention to work that I simply found technically impressive, that had awesome composition or great values. I looked for what moved me. Why it moved me. I started making notes about themes I found compelling or that cropped up a lot in my own work. I decided I wasn't going to do just a straight up realistic narrative Whaler Girl piece, I was going to try and make my own work be more like that which moved me. A risky, and perhaps somewhat dumb move, given those same realistic, narrative images had won me the scholarship. 

We were asked to provide 4 or 5 thumbnails, either of our own choosing, or from an assignment provided, such as an illustration to accompany a short story, the likes of which are often published on Tor.com. With themes like duality, death, grief and love in relationships crowding my brain, I created a lot of thumbnails. I wasn't going to take the first 3 or 4 that came out. I did about 20 in total and narrowed it down to the 6 I felt most attached to. Some of them even had hints back to The Whaler Girl in a very asbtract way. They'd come out better than I'd hoped for and I could see a tiny glimpse of the sort of painting I might get out of it. It made me excited to put them in front of my chosen faculty member. 

We were asked to pick a top 5 from the vertiable smorgasbord of faculty. That was hard. It turned out that most people got grouped with their top pick and that dictated who the other faculty were that would give you feedback. I suspect my pick would have surprised a few people. Kent Williams was actually the instructor I was least familiar with, but researching his work, especially his most recent work, it hit the same kind of buttons that my inspiration board had. His work felt emotionally personal and while I knew I didn't want to necessarily paint like he did, I felt he might be able to give good feedback on how to tap into that sense of the personal. Perhaps someone who could help keep me on track with the first wibbly steps I was taking with my own work. I count myself lucky to have landed in the group with Rebecca, Kent and Tara (McPherson). 

I wanted to make a good first impression, but there were so many approaches to the dreaded 'crit day'. Some folks brought only one or two finished colour thumbs, some folks just had small, traditionally drawn thumbnails, occasionally done on arrival the night before. Some brought photo mockups of the exact piece they wanted to work on. All approaches got good feedback. I'd been forewarned that crit day could be rough, but I think the Studio 201 guys were pretty chill. I did peek my head in on the other two rooms briefly. Donato, Greg Ruth and Scott Fischer were all highly animated and I've been told often argued with each other's feedback. Dan Dos Santos, Irene Gallo and Greg Manchess were part of the group that, from chatting to folks, seemed to get the most direct feedback.

I was a little surprised when there was no tracing paper used during my crit. All three faculty members responded favourably to what had been my favourite thumbnail, despite its weirdness. No direct suggestions other than resolving the shapes in my minimal, non-figurative space (that minor bit of feedback would come to haunt me by The Thursday of DOOM, but I'll get to that later). Inspirations like Inka Essenhigh, Hope Gangloff and Dorothea Tanning were thrown my way, I loved all three for very different reasons. It was safe to say inspiration was running high and I had a tonne of positive energy to run with. 

I felt like I was well prepped going into the IMC, but I wasn't. Choosing to go full traditional when having to fly internationally was a pain. I didn't have a lot of the stuff I needed and had to rely on the infinite kindness of my fellow students and faculty to see me through. Stephen, Annie, Chris, Julia, you were all lovely, I can't thank you enough. 

My Tuesday started with James Gurney sat at my breakfast table. That was surreal but awesome. He and his wife Jeanette are as lovely two people as you could hope to meet, full of insight and always taking notes. The previous day's lecture on photo reference was flowing through my mind and I dreaded having to ask fellow students. My figures were both nudes and that wasn't something I was comfortable with, though I thought perhaps I could take individual legs and arms and use a little online ref to fill in the rest. I wish I'd drummed up the courage to ask my fellow students, but that particular social step eluded me the whole week. I spent the day instead with many sheets of tracing paper, figuring out What marks were what. I had discussions with Greg Ruth and Donato Giancola about how to find those shapes and make them fit in my piece. You have to figure out who to listen to, and whose advice to stash for a later date. You get bombarded with advice if you go in as open-minded as I did. I'd thrown myself into a pool I should have been paddling in first, pretty much at the very public deep end. I'll admit I found ways to put off getting to painting, as it was only the 2nd oil painting I'd done in the last 20 years and the company I had in the room was stellar and a little overwhelming. Eventually, I chose to redraw via a grid so I could edit as I went along and I used some reference I shot of my own limbs to help flesh the drawing out. I left Tuesday feeling reasonably positive about the work.

Wednesday was a full day with faculty feedback, up to the first 5 pm lecture. Dan Dos Santos, who is perfectly lovely, but also very honest with feedback, stopped by my easel. Overall, very complimentary, he pulled me on a bit of weird anatomy, that after using a lot more photo ref with the rest of the piece, had begun to stand out. He suggested I grab Rebecca after our discussion. I'd responded best to her feedback, as she seemed to understand what I was trying to do, so I grabbed her after lunch. She immediately told me the leg and anatomy I'd had in the thumbnail had been working, and that if I liked the weirdness (which I did) to go weird with the rest of the piece to make the leg fit. Literally the opposite of Dan's feedback. Feedback is such a personal thing, every instructor has their own view of art and own journey. I'd probably tried to take a little bit of everyone who'd stopped by and given feedback and every little bit had nudged me slightly off the course I'd intended to take. Dan's feedback was spot on, if I'd been after something with a solid grounding in realism, but I wasn't. I was after an emotional feeling rather than muscles that looked like they fit where they were supposed to go. Rebecca suggested I just print the thumbnail out, mount it to masonite and paint on that. But resolve my shapes first. 

That led me to ask Tara for advice and after some back and forth, I thought I knew where I was going, and decided rather than be tied to the values I'd got in the thumbnail to start with, I'd trace down the printed thumbnail and resolve my shapes. All went well, I got the drawing on the board, and aware of the ever-ticking clock and my ability to get feedback on my painting process, I was keen to get started the following day.

I nick-named Thursday 'Thursday of DOOOOOOOM' in my sketchbook notes. With that many 'O's'. It started well, with my sketch on my illustration board, I figured I'd use acrylic underpainting to speed up the process, then seal with matte medium and start on top in oils. I'd brought a lovely lime green and violet with me, my underpainting was done in warm purple-reds as a counterpoint, and I was winging it. It felt good. I stepped away for a bit before lunch and came back after to the horror of a C-shaped warped board. A brand I'd not used before, I hadn't been heavy with it at all. I threw some matte medium on the back in the hopes it would pull itself out of the curve, but it only stiffened. I think panic set in at this point, I knew there was no point in doing more on the board, but I'd been stubborn over mounting the printouts I'd done. Old dog, new tricks and all that.

Distraught, I knew I had no choice. I slunk off to the back of the studio and tried not to blub my eyes out as I tried a totally new method of mounting with less than perfect tools. Flustered, my hair constantly got stuck in the medium, making me even more panicked that the whole thing would be a disaster and that I'd missed the last supply run and would have to face the very public shame of asking someone for actual help. If there's one thing I hate, it's not being self-sufficient. My fellow students would have happily helped out, but shame is a pretty powerful emotion, it tends to rule what you do. I prayed the mounted paper wouldn't need a 2nd sheet mounting on the back to counter the drawing mounted on the front. At best, in the blazing sun, this stuff would take a couple of hours to dry to the point I could paint on it. The wind did its best to prevent me from stacking the board outside and in my hours of deepest bleakness, I figured that maybe if it blew over into the dirt and insects, I'd say fuck it and make them part of the fucking thing too. It was also at this point I realised the printouts had cropped the two thumbnails I'd chosen to work with, altering their composition drastically. My own dumb fault for not setting the page size up properly in the printer. One more shame I'd suck up and live with. I wish I'd asked for help. I think knowing the pieces weren't what I'd initially intended broke my ability to give them my full attention and killed my mojo for the next couple of days. My anxiety rats, as Rebecca delightfully referred to them, were in full swing. 

While I waited for it to dry, I headed back into the studio and mentioned to Rebecca I'd given in with the curved board and mounted the thumbnail and would she have a look over what I'd chosen to do with the background. Rebecca is gracious and lovely and patiently listens to me explain what I've done. Then she points to some of the graphic elements I'd put in and gently says that they still feel too literal and forced, that the motifs I choose should be something I relate to closely and that it doesn't quite live up to the right hand, figurative side of the painting. I suggest a couple of other ideas, feeling a scrabbling panic bulding in me, only to hear her tell me everything still feels too literal. My logic brain knows she's right, but after a distraught morning, I'm clasping at any straw I have to salvage the situation. I don't know if it showed, and she saw that I was struggling with it or if it was just honest feedback for the moment, but at that point, she looked at me and said 'maybe this piece is a step too far for you right now, maybe you should do the other piece, if that's something that's more comfortable for you.' I think I agreed with her, nodded and extolled the virtues of taking a step back into my comfort zone, getting a painting I knew how to do done was a good thing, yes? But damn if that wasn't a kick to the gut at that very moment. 

She was absolutely right, though. I'd throw myself into a deep pool, with people who were olympic athletes at diving its depths, and in the course of a week expected to be able to at least dive a good distance with them. I'd been able to get my head underwater with my well-planned thumbnails, but in this overwhelming, information packed, inspiring, public test of artistic mettle, I'd punched above my depth, so to speak. Trying to shift gears artistically when you have your own space and the time to find your journey is one thing, I don't know if it can be done in a week, no matter how much amazing input you get from your artistic heroes. Chris, Erin, Annie, I'm sorry if my energy those next 48 hours was a bummer, it wasn't a place I was familiar with being. 

Kent Williams came to the rescue of my very bruised ego that evening with a talk about his personal journey through art. Indirectly, seeing the bredth and depth of his work over such a long time span, I confess to feeling a little idiotic that I'd expected to be able to make that leap in a week. Every faculty member who gave a talk like that had shown me that their journeys were long, and often fraught with failed ventures or periods of doing artistic things they didn't want to. I left the lecture with my tail between my legs, but a renewed sense that I would do my best with the hand I'd given myself. I did a couple of colour studies that evening, traditionally, inspired by seeing James Gurney's master studies in his lecture. I loved doing them, and wish I'd had more time to do more. But I found a piece online that had a palette I liked and did a couple of explorations of a similar theme. I finally, finally, 4 days into the escapade, managed to put down some oil paint. 

Friday and Saturday I painted as much as I could, but tentatively, I was making marks I'd never made before. I listened to the feedback being given around me and let anyone who wanted to stop and give me feedback, do so. I'm not sure I actively asked for it. I struggled as the ladies around me with their amazinly characterful pieces drew the attention of everyone who went past. I wondered if I was so far off the mark and weird that no one knew what to say about my piece. Maybe it was so bland that they couldn't praise or crit it. In retrospect, I recognise that my mood and lack of decent sleep was tinting my mood heavily, and I suspect I was giving off the same vibe, which is enough to make folks give you a bit of a wide berth. 

The theme of finding your niche and doing what you love came up in more than one lecture over those days. I went to bed at 2 am both nights, in an attempt to get as much done as I could. I socialised a little more, realising that was as much a part of the experience as the painting. If not more. I'm hugely thankful for the bonds I forged during that week, something I couldn't have done at home, no matter how much I painted. Those bonds were worth much more to me than the painting I half finished. I think I came to accept that what I wanted to do was going to be a journey that needed a little longer than a week to take. I wish there had been more 'round table' lectures with all the faculty, seeing them interact together on the business lecture was amazing. 

Sunday was chill. I'd had the intention of painting more, but clearing up took a while, and I felt good being relaxed. So I socialised more instead. Our final lecture with Donato was the perfect note to end the experience on and the open house was a chance to take in everyone's work, the standard of which was amazing. After a super tasty mexican dinner and strawberry margherita, the bar beckoned. After drawing I don't know how much hentai in people's sketchbooks and getting a badass Bill Nighy sketch from the awesome Bud Cook in my own sketchbook, alongside the weirdest pseudonyms and animal drawings ever, I crashed and burned as being under the influence after a week of mental stress and lack of sleep took its toll on me. Conan, thank you for making sure I got back safely that night, I really appreciate it, I suspect I'd have passed out in a dark corner of the bar otherwise. Sad I missed out on the late night partying that ensued, but damn, did I need that night's sleep. 

So there's one woman's view of what it's like to go to the IMC, to throw yourself at the mercy of the faculty and your own desires. To fail and not deal with it well, to realise that the painting was never the important thing. IMC was amazing. I can only hope this gives those of you who haven't been a teensy insight. I'm not going to cover what the lectures were or what faculty shared with us, that's a very specific IMC experience, that you really have to go to appreciate. I will say I am hugely thankful to Dan, Rebecca and all of those on Muddy Colors who made that experience real for me. It has enriched me in ways I suspect I'll only realise as my journey continues. Thank you to everyone who gave me kind words and praise and to those who tried to guide me on my way. If ever the opportunity arises for you to attend, I would say grab it with both hands and run with it. Even if your experience doesn't run as profound as mine, and it simply lets you have some time to paint whatever the hell you want, being in a huge room full of people going through the same thing is well worth the price, not to mention watching faculty paint in real time is invaluable. 

So, what if you've taken that leap, some months from now and you're going to the IMC? Here's a few pointers from someone who thought they were prepared and was woefully not. 

1 -  THE DORMS Are basic AF. I was somewhat prepared, but when the FAQ says the beds are firm, they mean it. Think springs wrapped in a bit of plastic tarp. The sheets are functional, but the blanket looked like someone had put used dog bedding through a shredder and mushed it out into a rectangle. I bought a spare blanket at the CVS store, cause no way was that thing touching my skin. I may be a little sensitive though. I affectionately referred to the whole set up as my prison bed, cause honestly, that's all I could think of. If you can bring your own bedding, I'd recommend it.

The dorm bathrooms are gender neutral, which means anyone can use them. I was fine with it, but it's odd the first time you wander into the bathroom and find the opposite sex brushing their teeth. I never had any problems taking a shower, though, they were pretty quiet. 

Morris Pratt Dorm was definitely the more social, I was very thankful to be on the 3rd floor, as a light sleeper, the partying into the wee hours would have kept me awake had I been on the lower floors. The box fans helped with white noise, but the doors are all pretty heavy, so unless folks are very delicate with how they close them, expect some noise. I found the box fan enough without the AC, even when it got pretty warm on the last couple of days. 

2 - FOOD. Having never been to a large educational establishment in the US, I wasn't sure what to expect with the food. Would I have to venture into Amherst to find healthy stuff, would there be much choice? The food was surprisingly decent. It's still a large facility, so it's never going to be amazing restaurant quality, but there were a few choices every day and a well-stocked salad bar. They even had a soft serve ice cream machine, that I managed to avoid until Sunday. I'm not a coffee drinker, but I had it on good authority that the coffee in the dining hall wasn't great. It might be an idea to bring a drinks container with you, as mealtimes are the only time you can get drinks on campus, outside of water fountains. Amherst is only a 10-minute walk down the road, though. 

3 - ART SUPPLIES AND STUDIO SAFETY. I brought paints, brushes and surfaces with me, with the knowledge I'd ordered a couple extra things for while I was there and that there was a supply run. If you work on specific surfaces, it's best to bring those with, Michael's wasn't super well stocked, and more speciality things like large clayboard weren't available. A lot of people bring extras and are happy to share, thankfully. I would have brought more old rags or kitchen towels and some tape. People often used walls to tape up thumbnails or other pieces of art.

The university runs a very strict number of safety policies surrounding paints, water and mediums. Bring some lidded jars with you for mediums and water. Everything has to be labelled clearly and remained closed when not in use. Even water used for rinsing acrylic and watercolours. All have to be disposed of carefully too. Same with anything you wipe paint or mediums on, so using something a bit more disposable like kitchen towel might do you better. They ask you to cover your oil paints when not in use, though that can be with a simple piece of palette paper. 

If you choose an easel, if you have space for a little extra table, you'll likely make good use of it. The chairs they supply are also very basic and not comfortable for long periods, so bringing a cushion is definitely a good idea.  Oh, and they say the studio opens at 8 am on Monday but I got there at 8 am and a lot of the spaces had already been taken, so if you want prime real estate, get there early! 

4 - SELF PROMOTION This sounds like a no-brainer. I brought business cards for the faculty and my portfolio review with Irene Gallo. I thought I'd sorted my work out reasonably well, but actually, my website would have been a better place to show off my work. I also wish I'd brought a physical portfolio to leave out for students and faculty to flick through, perhaps an example of finished work that was either nicely printed if I was doing digital, or one of my traditional pieces. The latter is tricky when flying. My business cards were on the pricey side so I wish I'd had some decent postcards or stickers, printed for the open studio, where folks were picking stuff up. You never know who's going to pick one up! The internet can be spotty in the building, so unless you have some 4G going on, it can be tricky to show off folios digitally. 

You might also be lucky enough to score a second portfolio review if the guests have enough time, I am so glad I could put my work in front of WotC's Jeremy Jarvis. It cheered my Saturday up no end! Make sure you check the lists when they go up and bag your second spot early. And don't puss out. 

5 - DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP I'm stubborn and British, so asking for help is the worst, but everyone there will gladly help you out if they can. Especially the assistant team, Daneen, Julia and Stephen and the 'honored easels' who've been in your situation. Take advantage of them, they are all lovely people.

And that sums it up! An amazing, tiring, exhausting, mentally demanding, inspiring, overwhelming experience that I wouldn't change for the world. I hope to repeat it in the next year or two. I count myself lucky to be part of the alumni and perhaps if you're reading this, I might see you there too. 

[fossadeileonixv]

Athletico 2 Milan 1

So close.

A brutal way to lose a game. 

As usual front to back thoughts and ratings. 

MAIGNAN 7 Hard to blame him on either goal. I know that’s a cop out thing to say but it’s true. Excellent once again in cleaning up balls in the back and distribution to the wings. late save on Felix was unreal.

CALABRIA 7 Good job holding down Carrasco as well as keeping an eye on Suarez lurking at the back post. Headed away several chances. Didn’t offer much going forward but had his hands full.

TOMORI 7.5 Excellent once again. It’s hard to find any fault in his game. Got better and better as AM circled closer and closer.

ROMAGNOLI 6  Played 83 great minutes and then shit the bed. Totally lost on the cross to Griezzman. Didn’t dive in, stick a leg out or anything. That has to be cleared man. 

THEO 6.5 Good on offense and questionable at best on defense. Kessie’s first card, albeit a terrible call IMO, comes from covering for Theo. Plain and simple. Who’s that on Theo? Kessie? Pioli? Take your pick. No matter who you look at it covering for him has been an issue for about 18 months now and isn’t changing. 

KESSIE 5.5 Let’s be honest, both calls were terrible. The first should be a warning. A yellow that early has to be for some completely egregious. A shirt pull is not that. The second is just 2 guys going for the ball. He doesn’t come through the player from behind or anything. Kessie also has to be super aware after that first card though. He can’t take any chances. He just had to at least get to the half for a sub. In short in 29 minutes he got 2 cards, was dispossessed twice and was easily the FOTM

BENNACER 8 Absolutely fantastic all game long, not only on the stat sheet but via the eyeball test. tackles, dribbles, clearances he did it all. repeatedly cut out attacks through the midfield. Really mad up for the poor showing at Anfield. Not a clue why he was subbed off. 

SAELEMAEKERS 7.5 Similar to Bennacer was all over the place not only on the stat sheet but on the field. help keep the attack alive after going down to 10 men while also helping Calabria to bunker in. One of his best performances to date. Taken off just as he was getting tired and sloppy. 

DIAZ and LEAO 8.5 co-MOTM Where in the world would we be without these 2 this year? 7 goals and 3 assists now between them in all competitions. Incredible work rate and effort to keep us not only in the game but to keep attacking while down to 10 men. 

REBIC INCOMPLETE Had to be sacrificed after Kessie saw red. Probably a good idea since his mouth was probably gonna get him a red as well. 

Subs

TONALI 7.5 Had this conversation with a friend before the game that went something like this. 

friend: I see Kessie is starting

me: Is that a good thing considering his form? 

friend: Good point. He’s been shit of late

me: Meh

Right now Tonali/Bennacer needs to be the double pivot. Kessie is now the odd man out. 

GIROUD 6.5. Not much you can do in that spot besides hold up the ball and pray. Did have one half chance that almost became something. 

BALLO-TOURE 6 He played. Not sure why. 

FLORENZI 6 Got beat on the cross that led to the tying goal. Tried to make up for it by creating some chances late. Overall though a sub that made little sense. 

KALULU 6.5 Saele was washed and had to come off. Kalulu came on and had a rough time. Totally caught ball watching on the tying goal.  Made a beautiful defensive play before ultimately getting shafted on the handling call. 

Coach

PIOLI 

When he gets the subs right we look great.  When he doesn’t we really suffer. let’s go sub by sub shall we? 

SUB #1 TONALI for REBIC No brainer there. Down to 10 and needed another mid. We become a sort of 4221 where we can still apply pressure but also defend well. 

SUB #2 GIROUD and BALLO-TOURE for DIAZ and LEAO I get Giroud coming on. You need that main guy up top to at least be a focal point to hold things up. I’m not sure I understand Ballo-Toure though. He’s barely played and when he has it’s not been great. I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but i would have kept Leao on at LM for his work rate and defending. Shocking, right? Now though we have a 441 with no real creative and a LM in Ballo-Toure that’s playing out of position. Mikey no like. I hate guys out of position. 

SUB #3 FLORENZI and KALULU on for BENNACER AND SAELEMAEKERS.

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I could understand Florenzi for Saelemaekers as he was clearly getting tired and Florenzi is a fine discount version of him. 

Kalulu though? Bennacer OFF? Bennacer was fantastic. He could easily have been co-MOTM alongside Diaz and Leao. He was amazing. So you bring on a RB and move our RB into the midfield? No. NO. NO!! Our final lineup would look like this:

Kalulu-Tomori-R13 -Theo

Florenzi-Calabria-Tonali-Ballo-Toure

Giroud

You might be able to get away with that against Spezia but not against Athletic in the Champions League. Come on man. Just leave Calabria at RB and Bennacer in the midfield!  Athletico saw that weakness and came right at it. Come on man. That can’t possibly be your finishing lineup in a game like this. Four backups across the midfield?  No way. Credit to him he’s usually top notch at handling subs but not this day. He had those 5 subs burning a hole in his pocket and just couldn’t resist. He shit his pants late. There’s really no other way to put it. He gets a slight pass as we were down to 10 men.... but still. Ugh. 

RANDOM THOUGHTS

- Still can’t believe Kondogbia didn’t get sent off for the two handed shove. That was trash. 

- F Luis Suarez

- F the ref

- watching the replay of that PK call makes we want to puke. 

FORZA MILAN! 

Lisi

#IMIT

[dannyboyk2000]

Aston Villa vs Bolton 2-0 Match Report and Player Ratings article

Goals; Aston Villa FC - Grealish (3’), Chester (56’)

            Bolton Wanderers-

(Source; https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/match-reports/aston-villa-2-0-bolton-13525986)

One goal in each half from Grealish and Chester eased Villa to a comfortable 2-0 victory over a poor Bolton Wanderers side at Villa Park in the Sky Bet Championship.

The game started with Villa dominating the early stages of the game, and their early pressure lead to the first goal of the game, with Abraham feeding through a delicious through ball to Grealish who rounded the keeper and tapped in the first Villa goal of the game to make it 1-0. They thought that they had the second goal of the game when Chester headed in from a free kick, but the linesman’s flag went up to deny Aston Villa a second goal.

The Villans had further chances after the goal and the offside goal to extend their lead to 2-0 before half time, but missed chances through Adomah, McGinn and Kodjia. Therefore, this meant that Villa would only go into half-time with a 1 goal advantage, even though they dominated most of the first half.

Surprisingly, Bolton started the game poorly but grew into the game and had multiple chances to make it 1-1 before the break with Oztumer and Donaldson missing good chances for the Wanderers. Bolton’s best chance of the half came from a set piece in the 24th minute, when Oztumer’s free kick landed at the head of Jack Hobbs and his header looked to be looping in to the net, however James Chester was there to hack the ball of the line!

So, the first half finished 1-0 to Villa, but the game was still in the balance going into the second half. Most people felt that if Phil Parkinson’s men upped the Intensity in the second half, there may be something in this game for them to take back up North…

The second half started the same way as the first half, with Villa dominating, and they made their dominance count to bag the second goal of the game, when in the 56th minute, A Grealish free kick landed on the head of an unmarked James Chester who headed in the second for Villa. It was a long way back for Bolton from this point….

However, the difference between the second and first half was that Bolton never grew into the game in the second, unlike the first half. In fact, Villa could have extended their lead 1 minute after half time when Abraham was played in by Kodjia, but he scuffed his shot and the ball trickled wide. It was a hectic start to the second half, and Bolton nearly punished Villa and Abraham for missing their early chance in the second half, however Craig Noone’s effort from inside the box was well saved by Nyland. So, after 2 minutes in the second half, the score could have been 2-1 Aston Villa, however it only remained 1-0 Aston Villa.

Unsurprisingly, after the hectic start to the second half, the game resumed with Aston Villa dominating possession and probing for the second goal to kill off Bolton, and this goal came in the 56th minute when Grealish whipped in a beautiful free kick which landed on the head of Chester who headed into the net to make it 2-0 to Villa. After going 2-0 down, you would have expected a reaction from Bolton, but that just didn’t come. 

Their best chance of the second half came from a Craig Noone longshot which just flashed wide of the keepers near post. They had other half chances through Doidge and Magennis, but it just wasn’t going for Bolton, who have still not won a game since the back end of September. So, have had a woeful October and have made a poor start to November. Bolton have now only scored 2 goals in their last 9 championship games.

Villa had a few other chances to add to their 2-0 lead, but efforts from Kodjia and Hourihane failed to do just that. After Villa went 2-0 up, the game just drifted with Aston Villa looking very comfortable after Bolton failed to up the intensity on the hosts.

Dean Smith has now won his first 2 home games as Villa manager.

Match Statistics

                              Aston Villa                 Bolton

Possession                60%                           40%

Shots                         17                              11

Shots on target           3                                3

Corners                       2                                8

Fouls                          8                                16

  Player Ratings out of 10

Aston Villa (Manager; Dean Smith)- Nyland- 7, N.Taylor- 6, Tuanzebe- 7, Chester-8 (Named Man of the Match by Sky), McGinn- 8, Grealish- 9 (My man of the match), Hourihane- 6, Abraham- 7, Hutton- 7, Kodjia- 5, Subs; Bolasie- 8, Hogan- 5, Whelan- 5.

Bolton Wanderers (Manager; Phil Parkinson)- Alnwick- 5, A.Taylor- 4, Lowe- 5, Oztumer- 7, Donaldson- 7, Buckley- 5, Noone- 7, Hobbs- 5, Olkowski- 4, Williams- 5, Wheater- 6, Subs; Dyer- 6, Doidge- 6, Magennis- 6.

 Manager quotes from press conference

Aston Villa Manager- Dean Smith

"We deserved to win, but I didn't think we were anywhere near our best. Of the four games we've had since I came in, that was probably the least dominant we've been.

 "After we scored the second goal, we had a 15 or 20 minute spell in which we were excellent, but there's still a lot for us to work on. That brief spell showed me the levels this group can get to.

 "There was a distinct averageness about other things we did. But keeping a clean sheet will have given Orjan Nyland a lot of confidence.

 "Jack Grealish did just what was asked of him in getting in the box and scoring. And James Chester put in a really good performance. Quite apart from his goal, that goalline clearance he pulled off was like another goal."

 Bolton Manager- Phil Parkinson

"We just need something to go for us. We had the chances. One cleared off the line and a lot of scrambles in the box.

 "Conceding so early was disappointing. Was it concentration levels or was it a good link-up play between Abraham and Grealish? Probably a bit of both.

 "But, for their second goal, how has the ref has given a free-kick? I'm gobsmacked. Joe Williams has won the ball cleanly with a great tackle.

 "The officials have got to give us a helping hand by getting simple decisions right. I was livid. It's unacceptable at this level. They were probably not up to the standard required."

Table

Aston Villa move up to 13th in the table with 21 points after that win, but that is most likely to change after Saturday’s round of Championship fixtures. So, they may drop a few places by the end of the weekend. For Bolton, they remain 19th in the table with 16 points, but can’t move into the relegation zone even if Reading and Hull win. The lowest that Bolton can finish by the end of the weekend is 21st in the table (Just outside the relegation zone).

What’s next for Both teams?

Both teams are next in action next Saturday. Dean Smith’s Villans travel to take on Frank Lampard’s Derby in a midland’s derby at 3pm in the Championship, whereas Bolton face Swansea at home at 3pm next Saturday.