#i too am filled with a need for grandpa henry

[the-wandering-daughter]

Dinner at Lisa’s

Tonight, I sat across the table from Kirsten. She was the Wi-Fi password. I wonder if their other daughter feels any type of way from not being the Wi-Fi password. I know I would, but I have had my feelings hurt by my parents my whole life so it wouldn’t be any surprise. My brother would definitely be the Wi-Fi password. 

Maxton, Kirsten’s husband, rocked their baby Oliver almost the entire time I was there. Maxton seems like such an amazing father. I watched Lisa, Kirsten’s mom, jump up when Kirsten asked if there was a load in the wash, as Oliver had just thrown up on their bed. Lisa ran upstairs and pulled the clothes out of the dryer into the hamper, hung the comforter over the banister still wet, and threw their bedding in the wash immediately. 

That was me. I was Lisa, I am the good mom. Maxton, well that was Leighton. I sat there and I realized how disassociated I was from this evening. 

Tonight, as a woman, a mother, and an adult who forms their own opinion, I re-met my Great Uncle Henry. I say re-met because I literally struggle so fucking much with dissociative amnesia. 

I always thought my Grandpa Samaniego and his siblings had this trauma-filled childhood and were too old-fashioned and simple to seek any sort of therapy and used that as a hall pass for his shitty upbringing of his children. I imagined they were all so distant like us. 

Tonight, I was proven so fucking wrong. 

Great Uncle Henry breeds Goldendoodles with his wife. He has raised a completely stable, healthy, and capable human being and daughter in Lisa. Lisa is happily married and has a big family of 4 kids. Lisa and her husband still have some kids living at home. Lisa’s kids laughed about how they still call their dad for help with English homework.

Tonight, I got to see a happy and healthy Samaniego family and it broke a piece of me. It tore me because how the actual fuck did my grandfather let this slip away from him? How can you look at this beautiful family and not want exactly what the fuck they have?

I cherish the small steps I take as a mother to get to where we need to go, to raise a solid human being. I really do. But seeing Lisa jump to help, seeing her full home, seeing her in the kitchen, I can’t wait for that.  I can’t wait to be the good mom. 

Being a single mom, bad cop, it’s tiring. I find peace knowing I will get to enjoy Leighton as a young adult. I know I am raising a good human. I am grateful, but tonight, it also feels so heavy.

[letarasstuff]

One kind of intern

(A/N): This was requested by @greenslifestuff :) It took me a week or two because I had to interact with my friends in order to get the inspiration I needed 😅 Summary: The team gets to work with a gen z teenager. Let’s see how that goes.

Warnings: Swearing and gen z humour

Wordcount: 2k

✨Masterlist✨

___________________________________

“Team, this is (Y/N) (L/N). She will be interning for the upcoming three months alongside this team. (Y/N), these are Agents Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, David Rossi, Derek Morgan and Doctor Spencer Reid and our Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia”, Hotch introduces a teenage girl to his team like this happens every day.

“Wait Hotch, we don’t get interns. What is she going to do, no offense, but getting us coffee or what?” Morgan eyes her suspiciously. She looks like any teenager grabbed from the street. A band t-shirt, a torn pair of jeans and a cup from starbucks in her hands. Nothing you would expect to even enter a federal building.

“No offence taken, Agent Morgan. I know having an ugly pickly bitch working with professionals seems weird. It’s just I have summer break and I thought it would be a good thing on my resumé if I already interned in the FBI, because I just graduated and I wanted to go to the academy this fall. But if you wanna do a vibe check with me first, that’s fine by me. Whatever floats your boat.”

The room falls silent. Then out of all sudden everyone turns to Garcia, who puts her arms up in defense. “I don’t even know half the things she said, ask her yourself.”

That’s how the BAU gets their first contact with Gen Z culture and let me tell you it is a wild ride, so buckle up your seats, drink your tea up because we aren’t going to make any stops.

“(Y/N), I need you to come with me. We are going to the M.E. getting the latest reports from our last case”, Morgan tells her while passing her desk. In the blink of an eye the teenager is ready, putting her denim jacket with various pins and bits of patches on.

“Derek, can we get starbucks on the way back? The pumpkin spiced latte is back on their menu and I am on withdrawal. Pleaaaaaasseeee”, she looks at him with a pouty face. Morgan smiles. “Ok, under one condition: We both get one, take awesome pictures and send them to the group chat and then we act like we didn’t get them anything, but we actually buy them their usual.” He got the hang of it pretty fast. “Deal, Sis.”

While they are in the car on their way to the M.E. the agent groans. “Ugh, road work ahead.” “Uh yeah, I sure hope it does!” Morgan eyes her from the side. His whole demeanor says ‘old and confused’.

“What was that, kid?” But (Y/N) begins to laugh. “Don’t you know vines? Short dumb and funny clips people made?” It’s safe to say that this afternoon he learns to speak in vines, getting on Rossi’s nerves because nothing makes sense anymore.

“Ok, I heard you wanted to become a profiler. So I thought I would show you some old cases and then you try to figure out the profile. I’ll present them to you like I do to the team, alright?” JJ and (Y/N) sit in her office, safe from curious eyes. “As right as the law, Ma’am.” 

“Good, this is a case from several years ago. It happened here in D.C. Three men were murdered execution style in the middle of the night in an alleyway. They were all from different backgrounds. The only connection between them was that they were evicted for some form of sexual harassment or assault. The UnSub also had a signature: A shot into their groin while the men were alive.”

Unfaced by the presented facts (Y/N) pops a piece of gum into her mouth. “It do be like that.”

“What?” “I mean, it’s obviously a woman. She experienced any harassment or assault herself. She also has excess to the files, I assume she works as a paralegal, since most of them are women. Female serial killers are extremely rare, but they are better organized. The only thing left to say is good for her getting revenge.” The blonde looks at the teenager with wide eyes.

“I-I guess but you know you can’t say anything like that to Hotch, do you?” She asks concerned. “JJ, I’m dead inside, not dumb. I know this.” But the agent shrugs. “Good. Though I really want to see his face.” “Mood.”

Penelope Garcia is the closest one to relate to Gen Z culture, since a great part of her time is spent on the internet. She happily learns about all the phrases and their meanings as well as the newest trends and hypes.

“Purp is sus, I tell you”, is heard from the lair into the hallway. Spencer and Derek look at each other with concern on their faces. “Do you think they are alright or do we have to-” “IT’S A SELF REPORT I SWEAR PENNY! YOU WORK WITH PROFILERS IN GANDALF’S NAME!” Spencer’s question is answered by that.

“Baby girl, crazy girl, are you doing good? Do you need help or something?” The older one asks warily. But it’s drowned in another screaming match. “I TOLD YOU PURP WAS THE IMPOSTER BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM I VENTED WHEN I DIDN’T! I WANT ALL TIKTOKS I SENT YOU BACK!” “YOU DON’T DARE TO REVOKE MY TIKTOK PRIVILEGES!” “WATCH ME GARCIA!”

“Whoa girls, what about taking a break?” Morgan tries to diffuse the situation. “Yes, I think JJ got new pictures of Henry and Emily brought cookies this morning”, Spencer adds.

The girls, who mere seconds ago were ready to jump each other's throats, look at the other one. “You get the cookies and I go to JJ, deal?” (Y/N) asks. “Deal!” Without sparing the boys another glance they run out of the lair. Their devices are still lit up. A red figure shines into their faces. ‘AMONG US’ is written underneath it. “I think we get too old for this stuff, don’t we Reid?”

Spencer always thought he was young. Of course, his mind is older, but physically he is not that old. But the intern proves him wrong. And boy is he wrong.

“Spencer, is there anything interesting to know today?” (Y/N) takes a seat on his desk, distracting the genius from his paperwork. It is a common occurrence for her to go to him to ask for a fun fact.

“Do you wanna learn something about sloths?” His knowledge (or the writer’s) on this subject is astonishingly big.

“Spill the tea, sis.” “Did you kn- What? But I don’t have tea to spill. And I don’t wanna spill anything, I-” Reid rambles in confusion.

“It’s just a saying, Spencer. There is no deeper meaning to it then ‘Tell me everything about it’. You know, it’s mostly used for gossiping, but I don’t really like to gossip. That’s why I use it in a different context. You got it?” (Y/N) explains it to him in a soft manner, knowing her generation can be complex.

“Yeah, I think I do. Thank you for telling me. I really like the phrase. It has a nice ring. What about you spill the tea about all the phrases you know and I tell you some things from my knowledge?” “I think you got yourself a teacher, genius. But now tell me about the sloths, I love them.”

A few days later Rossi catches her doing some weird moves. “Are you having a seizure or what is your problem, youngster?” Even though he tries not to show it, David took a great liking to (Y/N), thinking of her like a granddaughter. Still, most of her actions confuse the hell out of him.

“I’m practising a dance for tiktok. My friends and I worked on a choreo we wanted to film later. Come here, I can show you.” And that’s what she does in the conference room. The teenager walks him through every move of the choreo, explaining the meaning to it and how it correlates with the song.

“And then you move your arm like that. Exactly like that! You did a great job, David! Are you sure you don’t want to come with me later? We can make you your own account and name it ‘Grandpa-on-tiktok’. You can promote your books over there and it’s a way to float with the trend!”

Seeing her this excited Rossi can’t do anything but agree to the idea. Also, he secretly liked doing the dance thing. It made him feel young again.

“(Y/N), you said you graduated this summer. But your file said you are 16?” Emily asks her one boring day filled with paperwork and countless cups of coffee. “It is what it is”, she mindlessly answers, too focused on filling out the work in front of her.

“I mean yes but how?”

“Emily, smart people exist. I know, coming from me hits different, but here we are.” Finally (Y/N) puts her pen away looking at the raven haired woman.

“What are you talking about? I can’t really follow you.” The more the intern says the more confused gets Emily.

She sighs. “I don’t want to leave you on read here. I kind of am smart somehow. Apparently I was smart enough to skip a grade or two. But it’s no biggie. Many peeps do this, so I don’t sweat it.”

“Even though I feel like you are selling yourself short here, I know you are an incredibly intelligent person. Someday you will be an awesome profiler and any team will be lucky to have you. I really hope we will be the lucky team. But I’m still not sure if this is what I should say in this context.”

“Emily, you are goals. This fam is squad goals. I really hope to be a part of this someday”, (Y/N) admits. “I’m sure Hotch will do his best to get you on the team, you became a great part of it. I can’t imagine a future without you.”

Sadly Prentiss has to get used to a time without the team’s beloved intern. On her last day (Y/N) knocks at Hotch’s door.

“Hey, I wanted to say thank you. The time with you and all the others was amazing and I learned so many useful things for not only the academy but also for my daily life. I really had a glow-up here”, she says after coming in.

Hotch motions towards the chairs in front of his desk. “Take a seat, (Y/N). I got something for you. See it as a compensation for not getting paid for your internship. You really did great work and a better job than some agents, who are doing theirs for many years already but don’t know half the stuff you do. You are a valuable member to the team.”

“Wait, you speak in presence tense. I leave you all this afternoon, you know that, do you?” But the Unit Chief only gestures to a white envelope on his desk. Quickly the teenager takes it and reads it.

“Are you serious Hotchner? Because I will cry you a river if you joke”, she threatens him.

“I’m dead serious, (Y/N). Even though half of your talks are difficult to understand, the other half is twice as useful and important. Additionally to that, you are like a fresh breath of air that the team needed. That’s why a place here will be available for you as soon as you graduate from the academy. I trust you that you will pass with flying colors, I had to promise that to Strauss.”

“Of course, Hotch. I swear on my Animal Crossing Island that I will do my best and more. Thank you so much”, she leaps into his arms.

The others watch the interaction from the bullpen, pretending to not get teary eyed. Their favorite Gen Z Kid will come back to them after all.

Taglist:

Spencer Reid

@calm-and-doctor

[abovethesmokestacks]

Kiss Me

Title: Kiss Me

Pairing: Captain Syverson x reader

Rating: T

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Very intense kissing? Some grinding?

I am back on my Henry bullshit, this time with the lovely Captain Syverson. As with my last Henry fic, this came about from a discussion with Brooke, which led to a personalized fic, and she graciously okayed me posting it as a reader insert for the rest of you to enjoy. Partly inspired by the video of strangers kissing for the first time. And if this guy were the one I’d get to kiss? Hold on while I go full koala on him.

The early afternoon sun had seemed blistering when she left her apartment, and the sundress had been the obvious option; light, breezy material, a pretty pattern that combined comfort and style. The sun had nothing on the man sitting down opposite her now, radiating a kind of warmth and confidence that had heat creeping up her chest and neck, her fingers fiddling in her lap.

It had been a spur of the moment decision, an audition call shared by a recent acquaintance on Instagram. Film majors at the nearby college needed volunteers for a course project, weekend appointments, no experience needed, come as you are. Sounded fun, her weekends were mostly open anyway. What could possibly go wrong. She had messaged the contact person, gotten an address and a time to show up.

The first shock, admittedly, had come as she was signed in, given a form to fill out, detailing the project. She. Was going to kiss. A stranger. In front of cameras. For a film project. 

“Miss? Are you alright?” The bubbly brunette who had signed her in, Abigail, according to the name tag tacked to her t-shirt, had looked at her, and she realized she must have made a sound.

“No! No, I'm fine, I- I just didn’t realize I’d- That this was-”

“Oh! Oh, you’ll be fine, there will be people in the room, you'll be safe as houses, darling, we won't say your names, that'll be up to you to share if you want.” The twang of her accent had was oddly comforting, but her heart was still racing, and suddenly, the handful of people lined up sitting in the corridor seemed all the more dangerous. She was going to kiss one of them. Fuck. Hastily, she'd filled out the rest of the form, handing it back and taking the number given, finding the nearest chair and trying to rifle through her purse as discreetly as she could for a chewing gum or a breath mint. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She had nearly launched out of her seat when her number was called, probably doing a credible impression of a deer caught in headlights. Abigail had smiled at her, motioning for her to follow.

“I promise, you will be fine. Our project manager wanted to explore the intimacy of the first kiss, what happens in those seconds before.”

“Why strangers?”

“It’s more… honest,” Abigail had said. “Couples know each other, know what to expect. They are comfortable. And it’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing sweeter. I still remember my grandpa kissing my grandma goodnight when my brother and I would stay over when we were kids, the absolute comfort and love between them. But strangers, they don’t know what to expect. There’s a level of trust between them, courage to take the leap.”

That’s… She couldn’t decide if that eased her mind or set it racing even more. She’d simply nodded, letting Abigail lead her to a door a little way ahead, unlocking it for her.

“You can leave your purse on the table on the right when you enter. Then go sit in one of the chairs. I’ll bring the guy in shortly. The camera will start rolling as soon as he sits down, you can introduce yourself if you want, just your name, doesn't even have to be your real one if you don't want to, and you can share whatever else you feel comfortable sharing and then…”

“Then we kiss.”

It had seemed so simple, so straightforward in all its terrifying simplicity.

At first, there is only the outline of him, stark against the light outside the room and showing a muscular frame with tensed shoulders and a wary gait. Folding her hands in her lap, she picks at the fabric of her dress, folding the skirt into tight pleats between her fingers, following the man as he inches closer. Dark jeans that reveal long legs and thick thighs, a worn t-shirt tucked into them that stretches over a chest that is… impressive. His face, though… His face is what sets her heart fluttering all anew. A strong jaw, hidden under a neatly trimmed beard, a slightly pouty lower lip and a perfect cupid’s bow. His nose looks like it may have been broken once, but it’s been set pretty well, lends character to his face, enhanced by the clear blue of his eyes that focus in on her. His hair is short, curling a little at the ends, but kept as neat as his beard, almost like a military man, but she can spot no chain around his neck that would hold his dog tags.

And then, he’d walked in. 

She barely hears the murmur to her left when the cameras start rolling.

He doesn’t speak until he’s sitting down, gaze on her, softening a little as he holds out a hand.

“Ca- Shit, sorry. No names, right?” He looks at her, almost a little scared that he’s messed up, and it is far too endearing for such a rugged man.

Without hesitation, she gives her first name, her real first name, a little surprised at herself for offering it along with her hand. His hand is calloused, warm and big, her own palm almost drowning in his clasp when he takes it. “Nice to meet you.”

The man laughs, releasing her hand and relaxing in his seat. “Sy. Nice to meet you, too. Pardon me if I'm being rude, but you don't sound like you're from around here.”

“Here for work for the next couple of months. Gotta say, you've got a pretty good ear.”

His eyes sparkle, a smile tugging at his lips, and god, the heat rises in her again, different from the apprehension that had her worked up just moments ago. He is the kind of man that draws you in, that can make you melt with a look, and she is fading fast. She is going to kiss him. He is going to kiss her.

“I won't hold it against you," Sy quips, hands resting on his thighs, and god, she wants to feel them on her.

"Me not being from around here? Or are we talking about something else?"

"Well, I was thinking the first..."

His words trail off, the suggestion hanging heavy in the silence. It feels like it stretches an eternity between them, but it's probably no more than five seconds. She's about to ask if they should start, if she should move, but Sy is looking at her, gaze wandering, assessing. The way he takes her in,i's not objectifying or greedy, not judgmental. It's… curiosity. Assessing her, planning his move, appreciating her, and she can feel it, feel his gaze move up and down her face, when it dips down for a fraction to her chest.

Everything fades with his first move. There are no cameras, no people, no one but them. Sy moves slowly, deliberately, scooting to sit on the edge of the chair, knee knocking against hers. It's electric, making her flinch and gasp, and that seems to please him. His hand comes up to rest on her knee, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb, locking eyes with her, willing her to relax.

"There we go…" Sy croons when she lets out a small sigh, his voice low and velvety. "Just relax. 'S just you an' me here. Don’t need to think about the rest of ‘em.. I'll be good, darlin', you can trust me. Isn't that right?"

She can only nod, inching towards the edge of her own chair, drawn into his warmth, the gentle timbre of his voice, the smolder behind the blue of his eyes.

"Yeah, that’s right, sugar. C’mon, come closer.”

His voice is hypnotic, not quite a purr, not quite a rumble, but it begs to be obeyed. She leans in closer, the two of them mirroring each other, and the tension is no longer in his shoulder, but sparking between them. His measured breaths fan lightly against her skin, and though everything in her should, by all logic, tell her to run, she finds herself relaxing. Sy’s thumb keeps working tight little circles, and he moves slowly, giving her plenty of time to see his intentions, and God, she welcomes it, tilts her head to welcome him.

It’s no explosion of stars or fireworks. His lips are a little chapped, but he knows how to kiss, working against her in soft pressure and the tease of his tongue along the seam of her lips. It’s not forcing the kiss, just giving her the option, showing that he is offering. When his other hand comes up to cup her cheek, she can’t help the needy whine that escapes her, and Sy smiles into the kiss, deepens it a little, swipes his tongue along her lips again.

She opens, happily surrendering, feeling him push back, soothing his thumb along her cheekbone. He kisses like she is the one thing he has been longing for, his happily ever after at the end of a long adventure. She kisses like he is the single point of stability in a storm, the one safe harbour in the entire world. Their spaces intertwine, slowly phasing and his one hand on her cheek is nowhere near enough. She pushes, Sy gives, and in one fluid moment and a happy sigh, she has straddled his lap, slinging her arms around his neck. She’s not letting go, not leaving this moment, and it’s almost like triumph when he embraces her, palms splaying on her back and she can feel the warmth through the thin material of her dress.

It’s a kiss for the ages, and they’re both hungry, both taking what the other gives freely. Sy’s hands wander, his fingertips teasing at the neckline to brush against heated skin, and she digs short, manicured nails into the skin of his neck, revelling in the groan he lets out. He pulls her closer, and oh. Her stomach does a somersault, a surprised giggle punctuating their kiss. Under her, Sy is hard, and the brief contact makes her all too aware of just how damp her panties have gotten.

There’s a less than discreet cough, and it pops their bubble, their gazes both snapping to the sound. 

Right.

The film crew are standing behind their gear, some squirming, clearly a little uncomfortable. Sy gives a laugh, and it’s hard not to follow. She still feels winded from the kiss, head swimming, and she touches her forehead to his, biting her lower lip.

“I think we… might have overdone it,” she whispers, lips brushing against his cheek.

“I’m inclined to agree,” Sy agrees, his shoulders shuddering with poorly disguised mirth. He looks up at the film crew, “So, are we good?”

“Yup, great! We’re really- we’re good, you guys can, uh… Yeah. Good. Thanks. Um. Yeah. Great.”

They both laugh again at the awkward crew member, and she slowly eases off Sy’s lap. It’s too much of a temptation not to glance down, to raise an eyebrow at the visible bulge pressing against his jeans. He gives her a mock-chiding look before getting up himself, taking care to not face the crew as he falls into step next to her.

“Look,” he says as soon as they are out of the building, wringing his hands as he walks, “I know we just met, and that… that back there was for a project. But, god, sugar, you got my head spinning all kinds of ways, and I… it would be rude to ask to continue right away where we left off, much as I… god, I would really, really like to kiss you again, and… other things… But maybe you would be okay with a date? Anywhere you want. You can get to know me better. I’ll answer any questions you have, I’ll bring character references, I’ll pay for dinner and dessert, whatever you want.”

Halting, she tilts her head and looks up at him. The steely look that had assessed her when he’d entered the room is gone, as is most of the smoldering passion when their kiss had broken. It still lingers in his eyes, simmering behind the hope that made them glitter.

“You’ll answer any question?” she asks, smiling at the way he eagerly nods. “Is your name really Sy?”

“Yes. Well, technically. Syverson’s my last name, so Sy’s just a nickname.”

“And your first name? You started saying something else when you came in.”

“No, that was… I was in the army for a couple of years,” he explained, pulling up one of the sleeves of his shirt to show an army insignia tattooed on his bulging bicep. She bites her tongue, wondering if he had any other tattoos on his body, almost missing when Sy continues speaking, “-made it to captain before I got my honourable discharge. Just became a force of habit to introduce myself as Captain Syverson.”

“So, you’d bring one of your army buddies as your character reference?” She slows down to a stop, clasping her hands in front of herself. “I suppose now that you’re out of the army they wouldn’t feel as compelled to make you look good.”

Sy mirrors her, feet shoulder-width apart and hands clasped in front of him, and yeah, now she can see it, the posture. Definitely army guy. “No, no, god no! The guys in my unit would sooner throw me under the bus if I asked them to vouch for me in front of a pretty lady.”

“Oh, then who’d get the honour?” she asks, blushing at his compliment.

“When you signed in, there was a girl, right? Brown hair?”

“Abigail.”

“Abby,” Sy says, glancing back towards the building. “She’s my sister. Talked me into coming today, said they needed more people.”

“She must have something major hanging over you if she got you to agree to this.” Her voice is light, joking a she inches closer to him.

“Well…” Sy drawls, taking a step forward and gently grasping her hand, “I was promised a really good kiss.”

“A really good kiss, huh?”

Just like before, he makes the first move, hooking his finger under her chin and holding her still while he closes the space, capturing her lips in another kiss. It’s searing, slowly setting her afire, and she wants it, wants him, wants everything he’s giving and everything he’s offering. He keeps it short, and she can feel herself get up on her tippy toes to get more, and damn him. Damn him, damn him, damn him. She bites her lower lip.

“So how about that date, huh, darlin’?” Sy husks out, and fuck, she can hear the smile in his voice.

“I can pick the place?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And I can pick the time?”

“Any time you want.”

She reaches out, puts a hand on his neck, drags her fingers along warm skin and pulls him down to whisper in his ear.

“Your place. Right now. And dinner… is on me.”

[boldlyvoid]

Hypothetically | Chapter 25-27

summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

A/N: Set between seasons 4 and 6, not following canon. all original crimes based on real-life stories.

Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy

Word Count: 18k

chapter 25

“What do you mean we’re working a missing dog case?” Hotch questioned his whole entire life at that moment as Mindy and Garcia explained the case they think they found.

“Sir, I promise you’re going to want to listen to this,” Garcia said softly, her green dress and pink hair pom-poms really reassuring him that everything was fine.

Y/N watched him roll his eyes and wish he was somewhere else, he had been getting more and more fed up with work lately. Having a hard time with Strauss, his wife, and the job in general. After Hayley almost died last year and being stabbed, he had the worst luck on the team.

“It’s going to take a minute for you to see what we see,” Mindy matched Garcia’s aura perfectly, dressed in a cat sweater.

“All 5 of these families have reported dogs missing in the Sacramento area. You think that’s not that weird, they’re probably stealing dogs for fights and step one in the serial killer handbook. But you’d be wrong,” Garcia explained, flipping from photos of missing dog posters to murdered families.

“The dogs go missing right, the parents put all their information onto a flyer, the flyer gets plastered into the neighbourhood where everyone sees it. The unsub takes the flyer, and the dog and returns it to the family just to get inside of the house. He learns what their safety protocols are like and then he decides to break in and murder,” Mindy laid it all out easily for them to follow.

“Is there any evidence that the killer is the dognapper?” Prentiss asked, chewing on the end of her pencil as she tried to wrap her head around it all.

“No,” Garcia pressed her lips together quickly. “But! Family number 5, they were murdered on Friday. Their crime scene is the newest, it’s where we’ll get the best idea of what’s going on.”

“Sir,” Mindy added. “If I’m correct about this, another family is going to die in 2 days. There’s been another small dog reported missing in Sacramento, the same type of family and everything. It’s a signature if I’ve ever seen one.”

“Send us everything you have, wheels up in 20,” Hotch sighed, taking his things and leaving the room.

“Is he okay?” Y/N asked Rossi.

Dave and he were the closest, Hotch never told his secrets of personal gossip to anyone else. He knew Rossi understood family problems the best. Having been married and divorced 3 times each.

“Don’t repeat this, Garcia that means you,” he teased her quickly. “He asked Hayley if she wanted more kids, after seeing you and JJ expanding the BAU’s gifted children program. She said she’d only have another baby if he took a few years off.”

“Oh,” Y/N wasn’t surprised. If Spencer wasn’t in the BAU he probably wouldn’t get it either. “He’s young, he can come back at any time, as you did.”

“Which is what I said to him. He just doesn’t know how he’d fill all the time yet, he doesn’t have an interest in fishing or cigars like moi,” Rossi explained. Standing up and straightening out his suit, “not to mention the writing chops to keep your brain fresh.”

“Come on grandpa, it’s time to board the plane you can brag later,” Derek patted him on the back. “Some of us like to stay active and have fun on our time off.”

“I’ll have you know I’m very fun,” Rossi argues as they leave the room. They were like a bunch of teenagers sometimes.

“Well, I’ll see you in a few days, just be in Vegas by Sunday at 2 pm,” Y/N frowned at Spencer. “Call me when you’re free?”

Spencer leaned in and kissed her softly. Rubbing his hand over her belly as he did so, saying goodbye to the little dude in there. “Be good, take care of each other.”

She smiled, wishing he didn’t have to go again. “We always do, come home to me safely boy wonder.”

In Penelope’s office, Mindy had basically moved in. It was big enough for the two of them and they worked together anyway. Sharing all the computer space, rolling around each other like crazy people as they switched jobs. That meant that Mindy’s office became Y/N’s office when she stayed back on a case.

Y/N would be 33 weeks pregnant as of Thursday, and officially Mrs. Dr. Reid by Sunday.

If everything went according to plan. This case seemed simple enough to get them home in time. If not, the flight from LA to Vegas wasn’t even that long. Y/N and Will had a plan if this was to happen, JJ and Spencer would head right to Vegas while Will and Henry flew in with Y/N. All she really needed was her wedding dress and hospital go-bag, and Spencer.

She wasn’t going to go into labour any time soon, Matty was still way too high and she was barely even having Braxton hicks contractions yet. If her body wasn’t practicing, surely it wouldn’t just start. She was a planner, she planned everything and this pregnancy didn’t seem to listen. All she wanted was for him to be born on or after June 10th, healthy and happy, that’s her only wish.

She hated cases like these, ones that made her sit behind a desk and just look at everything till it made sense. But it never did, not in her brain. Thinking like an unsub was the only time it made sense, but she never understood it. Kidnapping a dog just to kill a family was never going to be something one could just understand.

The only idea she had was to get someone inside the newest victims’ house and just wait for the unsub to return the dog. It would be the easiest way to bring him in for questioning. So she called Hotch.

“Hotchner,” he answered shortly.

“Hey, I was just wondering if you had a plan yet? If not, I’ve been thinking.”

“We’re trying to find a way to get eyes and ears inside the vics home,” Hotch explained, it sounded like he was driving and yelling over the speaker.

“I was thinking you could send in Reid or Morgan posing as a tutor or coach of some kind, then you can hide the equipment in the bag they bring in, it would be the least suspicious,” she ran her thoughts through to him.

“That would work, I’ll have the team see what we can do from our end,” Hotch ended the call abruptly. Still in the bad mood from when he left.

She couldn’t blame him, it’s a hard spot raising kids and having this job. Y/N and Spencer were still trying to figure out how they were going to pull it off. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for Haley, always being alone with Jack and half the time her life was in danger. The risk that came with the job almost didn’t feel worth it, especially when it meant losing your family on top of everything else.

They sent Derek in, with Penelope in his ear, as he set up the cameras and microphones. Setting up 24/7 patrol across the street in a model home. Meaning that Y/N’s job was basically over and all she had to do was kick her feet up and eat snacks until she could go home.

—

Spencer crawled into bed 2 days later around 4 in the morning, cuddling into her without even taking off his work clothes. She barely slept when Spencer wasn’t home, she opened her eyes when she noticed he was there, as if she hadn’t even slept yet.

He smelled like hotel soap and stale airplane air. “Hi,” he whispered as he tried to cuddle in close to her, being held back by her belly.

“Home just in time to have to fly out again,” she smiled at him softly.

“I know,” he sighed. “I doubt the bureau would like us if we used the jet to travel to a wedding. It’s bad enough we have one and no other unit does.”

“Are you excited or nervous?”

“Both.”

“Mmm,” she hummed along. “I’m nervous.”

“Why?”

“I still haven’t written my vows and,” she stopped herself, frowning a little as Spencer laid a hand on her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s all happening so fast. I feel like I haven’t had a chance to enjoy any of it and I’m worried if this is how fast the lead-up is, then how fast will the night be over?”

“Oh bunny,” he cooed. “I’ll make sure we get a moment alone, how about we sneak off during the party and go to the swing and just spend time together? Really make the most of our day.”

“Okay,” she smiled again. “A part of me wishes it was just us.”

“How about this,” Spencer said as he sat up, turning on the bedside lamp before getting out of bed. He looked through his underwear drawer and pulled out the box the rings were in. “Marry me, right now?”

“What?” She laughed.

“Just me and you, marry me?”

“It won’t count this way?” She rebutted, sitting up as well as she squinted in the light. Trying to wake up more.

“you’re not religious and you hate the government even though you work for them,” he reminded her. “Having a sheet of paper and dedicating my life to you are two completely different things.”

“I told you I don’t have my vows ready!”

Spencer sat on the bed, sitting directly across from her as he placed the rings on the bed. Taking both her hands in his as he looked into her eyes. “Just make it up?”

“You’re insufferable,” she teased him.

“And you love me,” he teased right back.

“Fine, Spencer Reid, you big fuckin’ dork,” she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “My whole life I’ve just wanted to love you. I don’t know how I managed to pull it off, but here I am."

She let out a long, shaky breath as she continued. "You complete me, I don’t feel right when you’re not around and I never want to lose you. Marrying you means more to me than just becoming your wife, I don’t care about the term or the tax benefits," she laughed as a tear fell down her cheek. he wiped it away quickly.

"I was perfectly content just being in your rotation. Being your partner for life is a blessing to me, I’m going to love you forever.” She picked up and ring and put it on his finger.

His eyes were glossy as he watched her shaking hand slip the ring over him. He loved her more than he even knew how to describe at the moment.

“Do you remember that one time you asked me to show you how a real man loves a woman?”

She laughed, looking down at her gigantic belly. “Kinda hard to forget when I’m carrying around this extra 30 pounds.”

“It reminded me of a quote I read on a swing one time,” he said softly, watching her eyes gleam as she knew where he was going.

“The unqualified truth is, that when I loved Y/N with the love of a man, I loved her simply because I found her irresistible. Once for all; I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. Once for all; I love her nonetheless because I knew it, and it had no more influence in restraining me, than if I had devoutly believed her to be human perfection.”

“What’s that from?” Y/N couldn’t stop the tears from falling down her cheeks, she had never known what book he was reading. She always wondered what his thoughts were in that moment when their eyes locked in remembrance all those years ago.

“Great Expectations by Charles Dickens,” Spencer replied, starting to cry as well.

That’s when she remembered it, looking over at the book that had been sitting on his bedside table for months. It was the book he re-read the most, the book he was reading that first night in Wichita when she asked to crawl into his bed. The book he put down before they conceived Matthew. The whole time she was falling in love with him, the way she did as a child, he was reading the same book because it reminded him of her.

“I didn’t expect that book to hold such a place in my heart the first time I read it. I only brought it to the park with me that day because it was the closest book to me, and I was having a really hard day,” he stopped to wipe his tears softly. “Yet somehow, every single bad day in my life has been made better by you. You’re my greatest expectation, and the only one I’m trying the hardest to live up to.”

“I love you,” she replied to him softly. Holding his face in her hands now as she stared into his eyes, “you’re always going to be everything I’ve ever wanted and all I’ll ever need. You’ve met every expectation, and beyond.”

“I love you,” he smiled. He took her left hand off his cheek, sliding the silver band over her ring finger, pressing it snugly against her engagement ring. “forever.”

“And then some,” Y/N added before kissing him softly.

She smiled against his lips, sitting back and looking at him with complete wonder. “Dr. Y/L/N,” she teased him, pretending to tip her imaginary hat.

“Agent Reid,” he copied her causing them both to laugh again.

“So when is our real anniversary then?” Y/N asked softly, trying to remember what day of the month it was.

“It’s April 20th.”

“Our anniversary cannot be 4/20!” She panicked. “Oh. My god!”

Spencer laughed from down deep in his gut, laying down against the sheets as she smacked his arm lightly. “I’m serious, but that’s so funny though,” she laughed too.

She laid back against the sheets then, Spencer cuddled into her side. His face in the crook of her neck while laying a leg over hers. She held him as close as she could, Matthew really starting to get in the way of everything she did now.

She let out a deep breath as she settled with Spencer against her. “I love you so much, my husband.”

“I love you more, my wife,” he replied. The words sounding like heaven on his lips.

chapter 26

She let out a deep breath when the dress actually zipped up. She was so worried that in the last 2 weeks her body had completely changed. JJ finished with her zipper, fluffing her dress and making sure everything was in place.

Her mom was wiping her tears for the 4th time in the last hour, Y/N couldn’t stop laughing every time she heard her sniffle. It didn’t feel as life-changing as her mother made it seem, Spencer and Y/N were already married in her opinion, this was just a nice formality for their parents.

She could hear all the people talking in her parent’s yard, a few kids yelling as they ran around each other. People were already drinking, there was food and snacks all around. It was just a big party where they were going to tell everyone exactly how much they loved each other.

As much as she was ready mentally, her body was shot. The butterflies in her stomach wouldn’t leave, the baby was kicking from the anxiety in her body no matter how hard she tried to calm down. It was nerve-wracking to be so open in front of so many people.

It was even worse with the fact she hadn’t seen Spencer since yesterday. As much as he claimed he wasn’t superstitious, he really didn’t want to see her before the wedding. Claiming his mother was the worried one, Y/N let it slide no matter how much she hated sleeping in her childhood bed all by herself with a mini-gymnast in her stomach.

“Are you ready?” JJ asked her softly.

She nodded, looking in the mirror at herself one last time. “Can I have a minute?”

“Sure,” JJ smiled, taking Debbie with her as they walked out of her room.

She stood in the window, opening the blinds and looking out towards the swings once again. Spencer was sitting there, swinging while staring at her window.

She smiled, feeling the butterflies leave her system in a beautiful flurry as their eyes locked. She was ready, she had always been ready to marry him.

She walked out of the room and down the stairs, holding the railing carefully. She was just wearing a pair of crocs under her dress, not trusting her big clumsy ass with heels.

She waited in the foyer as Emily walked across the street to gather everyone. She was officiating for them, Spencer wanted her to be the one to marry them, she was the closest thing to a sister he had.

Every single important person in their lives was in the crowd. Even Spencers father was there, in the back, quiet. Diana was happy to see him, Spencer felt indifferent. Gideon came too, which made it a little easier.

They all walked across the street then, gathering at the end of the makeshift aisle they laid out in the park. Penelope played a simple wedding march, starting the ceremony officially.

Everyone stood, turning towards them. Chloe went down first, dropping flower petals in big clumps here and there before running towards her mom. Then it was Y/N’s turn, opting out of the whole bridesmaid’s thing for the sake of not having to pick and choose between her co-workers and sisters-in-law.

Her dad extended an arm for her, she took it as she softly smiled at him. He looked like he was trying not to cry, “ready?”

“Let’s go,” she whispered.

Seeing Spencer at the end of the aisle was like a dream. She began to walk towards him, every step closer made her heartbeat louder and louder in her chest. Before she knew it she was standing in front of him, her dad giving her a soft kiss on the cheek before handing her over to Spencer.

The idea of giving her away was weird. He wasn’t giving her to him, he was simply helping her reach him. And he always had been.

Spencer’s hand was soft in hers and they stepped towards Emily together.

The music stopped then, causing them to turn to each other and smile. It was time.

It felt more like time stopped, however, getting a sort of tunnel vision for each other as the rest of the world faded away.

“Welcome everyone, you can take a seat,” Emily cut into the moment. “A few weeks ago Spencer asked me if I’d marry him off to his best friend, I of course said yes because who can say no to that face?”

Everyone laughed as Spencer blushed. “Spencer is the smartest man to work in the FBI, we’re not afraid to admit that. From the day I met him, he was nothing but informative and kind, as well as shy and personal. It took a while to learn anything about him, but once you get to know him he’s like an open book. And it’s a good story.”

“Like most good fairy tales, it’s a story told in two parts. Starting with a meet-cute of cosmic proportions, a plotline that would make any other ’right for each other at the wrong time,’ story run for the hills,” Emily exaggerated.

“And finally, a reunion,” her voice was soft then. “I’ll never forget the day Spencer held the door open for Y/N, she walked in with a smile on her face that was almost as big as Spencers. He introduced us to a childhood friend that day, not realizing she would become part of our family.”

Y/N felt herself getting a little choked up, seeing Penelope and JJ wiping their tears just off to the side.

“It’s a story best told in the first person,” Emily laughed at her own joke. “So, without further ado, ladies first,” she instructed, stepping away from the altar to keep the focus on them.

“Well?” Y/N shook her head at him, motioning with her hand for him to start speaking. Making everyone laugh once again. Spencer’s smile was adorable as he giggled.

“Would you say— hypothetically, of course, that soulmates are real, Doctor Reid?” She questioned him softly.

He nodded, “I would.”

“Good,” she smiled. “Because I think you’re mine. And I think I’ve known that for a very long time. There was something about you, that first day I saw you. You weren’t shoving dirt up your nose or pulling on my hair. You were reading a book, I believe it was Matilda, you were all by yourself and you looked sad.”

“Me, being me,” she laughed to herself, “I marched over to you and I asked if you wanted to play in the sandbox with me. One small gesture changed the entire course of my life, you became a friend and then a stranger again in the blink of an eye. I know what it’s like to know of you and not be in your presence and it’s the worst.”

She didn’t want to cry, but she knew she was about to. “I know you’re my soulmate because my soul physically aches when you’re not around. Like magnets, I’m pulled towards you and I’m willing to crush anything that gets in the way. You and I were once the same cosmic rock just floating through space, separated for millions of years until the time was right.”

“I found you right when I needed you,” she wiped a tear off her cheek quickly. “When we needed each other. And I’m never going to let you go.”

She turned towards Emily, grabbing a ring from her. “With this ring, you’re tied to me for eternity now, the way things always should have been.”

“I love you,” Spencer whispered, wiping his own tears before holding her hands again.

“Your turn, pretty boy,” she teased him one last time, laughing to try and stop the tears.

“Most of you know the story,” Spencer began his speech. Staring into Y/N’s eyes, trying to forget there was an audience.

“We met in kindergarten, she was wearing a sundress with green and pink flowers, much like today. You had bangs back then and a cute pink bow in your hair. And you were as stubborn then as you are now,” he smiled. “Mrs. Richardson had told me twice that we weren’t allowed to put water in the sandbox, no matter how important it was to the construction of my model pyramids. That’s why I was reading my book. You went to your backpack, grabbed a water bottle, and poured it right into the sand without thinking twice about the consequences.

“I didn’t really see you again until I was 13, I sat on that swing with my copy of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens while you sat in your window way up there.” He pointed at her house, past the swing set. “I’ll never know what you were reading or what you were thinking, but I have the exact moment I saw you ingrained in my memory,” Spencer’s words were soft as his thumbs ran over her hands.

“Out of my thoughts! You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been in every line I have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since – on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets.” Spencer recited from memory.

“You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings are made, are not more real, or more impossible to displace with your hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and everywhere, and will be. Y/N, to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil. But, in this separation I associate you only with the good, and I will faithfully hold you to that always, for you must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp distress I may. O God bless you,” Spencer’s voice trailed off to a whisper as he reached the end.

“I read that quote moments before seeing you again, and part of me knew the universe had greater plans for us. And I knew, Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces – and as it gets older and stronger, it will tear deeper – love her, love her, love her!”

“With this ring,” Spencer finally added. Lifting the last ring from Derek’s extended hand, placing it on Y/N’s ring finger where it belonged. “I vow to love you till my very last moments, and if heaven is real I’ll be waiting for your loving embrace.”

She wiped her tears quickly, looking up as she tried to stop her mascara from smudging. “You’re a dick sometimes,” she started to laugh before hearing the crowd do the same.

“You love me,” he teased her.

“I do,” she smiled, pulling him in and kissing him hard on the lips. Getting lost in his embrace as the world around them stopped.

—

Having every single person that she loved mingle around her parent’s backyard felt a little surreal. Her father and Rossi were smoking cigars together on the desk, Levi and Will were discussing training stories while Chloe and Henry chased each other around the yard.

Emily and Noelle were slowly dancing in their own little world to the music that played, not too far from Haley and Arron who had the same idea. Jack was talking to Derek, sharing stories about their favourite superhero.

Diana and Debbie were going around making sure everyone had a drink or a snack, discussing their children and showing off to everyone that was there. It was a lot to take in, but she wouldn’t change it for the world. This was the most perfect little wedding she could have ever asked for.

Spencer never left her side, holding her hand where ever she went for the majority of the night. Knowing she hated being the centre of anyone else attention, calming her down from all the eyes that were on her.

“Do you want to go to the swing?” He whispered in her ear when they were finally alone.

“Please,” she looked up at him with pleading eyes. Wanting to just be alone with him for a while.

She snuck out of the yard and across the street, Y/N sat down on the swing for the first time in years, her big belly thanking her for the relief. Spencer pushed her lightly on the swing, helping her swing in the late-night spring breeze in rural Nevada.

The light in her bedroom was still on, illuminating the empty room she called hers for the majority of her life. Still unable to process the fact that she did it, she married Spencer. She made a life in his orbit, she was happy and loved and making a family with the man of her dreams.

This was the best revenge she could have ever gotten on any childhood bully or predator in her life. Pure happiness, that no one could take from her. Knowing she did this on her own, meeting Spencer out of the blue and building a life of joy and peace was so unbelievably wonderful.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about,” Spencer asked softly as he continued to push her on the swing.

“I’m just amazed that I did it,” she said softly.

“Did what?”

“all this,” she waved her arm out in front of her. “I grew up, I made friends and a family and found the love of my life even after believing for so long that I never would.”

“the universe had better plans for you than you thought,” She could hear the smile on Spencer’s face as he spoke. “You’re so deserving of the world and then some, you’re worth the universe to me. Brighter than any star in the sky, more powerful than the big-bang.”

She dragged her feet along the sand, stopping the swing abruptly before turning around to see Spencer. His eyes glistened in the moonlight or the streetlight. Either way, his brown eyes were glowing as she looked up at him softly.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what?”

She wrapped her arms around him as best as she could, pressing her cheek against his chest softly. “For showing me that love is real.”

“Being able to love you has been the best part of my life.”

She pulled him into another kiss, holding his face softly as she peppered kisses to his lips over and over. “You get me forever.”

“And then some.”

“Hypothetically,” she teased him lightly. “Anything is possible when the two of us get together.”

“I love you,” was all he could say before kissing her again.

They could hear the music travelling across the street for the yard, she wrapped her arms around him and swayed to the beat. Taking a moment completely alone with him to just appreciate him. To hold him close, hear his heartbeat through his suit jacket and just take it all in.

The rest of her life started at that moment, the birth of a new future. One with endless possibilities, endless happiness, and the most love in the whole world.

Soulmates, 500 years in the making.

Placing 500 more years of possibilities in the hands of Fate, who cradled them in her loving embrace. Making a future for them unlike any she’s made before.

Epilogue

2020

The birds chirping used to make her wake up with a smile, now it made her panic a little. She was so overly used to being woken up to a baby crying, a kid with a tummy ache, or the sound of fighting coming from the cribs in the twin’s room.

When it was quiet she worried, opening her eyes and looking around to see all 4 of her children cuddled up around her and Spencer. Completely asleep, and absolutely adorable.

Matthews’s face was beside hers on the pillow. His long hair falling over his face, just like his fathers used to all those years ago. She kissed her baby on the forehead, unable to fully understand that he was 10 now.

The twins were in the middle, Harper and Derek were attached at the hip all day long. Sleeping basically on top of each other, it was the only way they were peaceful. Since being squished together in the womb, they’ve become best friends and each other’s comfort person over the last 6 years.

Alice on the other hand was a daddy’s girl. Probably because she got the most time with him, 2 and a half years’ worth of all Spencer’s love and affection.

Spencer had quit the BAU when they got pregnant with their last baby, deciding he wanted to be with his kids full time. He wanted to be more present, to make more memories and just be a good dad.

Every morning Alice would find her way into the bed, she’d do whatever it took to get between Y/N and Spencer, cuddling into her father’s arms and going back to sleep. Almost every time, she would push her mom’s arms away, waking Y/N up in the process just to smirk at her as if to say; “haha my turn.”

She loved her little family. And they loved her too, she had been out of town for a week on a really bad case that required all hands on deck. They called her every day, begging her to come home soon, breaking her heart. So it wasn’t a surprise to see all of them snuggled in, taking in all the time with her that they could.

Matthews’s eyes fluttered as he woke up, his big beautiful brown eyes looking at her softly. “Mom,” he said softly with a smile before wrapping his arms around her neck and snuggling into her. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, Mr. Magoo,” she whispered into his hair, holding him close. He still smelled like her little baby, only bigger as he rested against her.

“Are we still going to Uncle Dave’s tonight?” He asked as he settled against her, wanting her to run her fingers through his hair. It calmed him as it did for Spencer, soothing his mind as it ran a million miles a minute.

“I think so,” she replied, picking him up softly and laying on her back more. “I think all your cousins are going to be there too.”

“Even Jack?” He asked, sitting up with wonder in his eyes. Jack was 15 now, and just the coolest dude in Matthews’s life. Much like how Spencer looked up to Hotch in the beginning.

“Even Jack!” She whispered with enthusiasm, trying to keep the others asleep but it was too late.

“Mommy!” Harper cried, pushing Derek away from her as she leaped into her mother’s arms.

“Hi sweetheart,” she couldn’t stop herself from laughing as she got smothered in hugs from the twins.

Spencer looked over at her then. Alice was snuggled into his neck, one hand on his shoulder, the other in his hair. She had always played with his hair every chance she could get. Especially whenever he held her or gave her a ride on his shoulders as they walked through the park.

“Hi,” Spencer smiled.

There he was, the love of her life. His smile made her feel at home, the love between them only growing every morning when they laid eyes on each other.

“Are you going to say hi to mommy?” Spencer asked Alice, rubbing her back softly.

She raised her hand to wave softly before dropping it back onto Spencer’s head with a smack, “ow?” He laughed lightly, making her bounce on his chest and laugh in response.

She was always quiet in the morning, leaving all the talking to her siblings. She was the calmest of them all, she was also the easiest of the 4 of them. She didn’t cry unless she was desperate for food or attention, she slept through the nights and was just all around not fussy at all. A literal blessing to their lives.

The twins were a lot, they knew they would be. She doesn’t miss the days and nights of them taking turns screaming. And she definitely doesn’t miss the ache of her body as two babies sucked her dry for almost 6 months. Breastfeeding kicked her ass the most, eventually making her lose too much weight and faint from low blood pressure, it sucked.

The outcome was beyond worth it. Derek and Harper were the craziest, funniest, loudest 6-year-olds in the whole world. If they weren’t writing a show, pretending to direct a spooky movie or pulling pranks on their father, they were planning to.

They had a specific dynamic, Harper was the planner and Derek was the do-er. Harper would come up with the sneakiest, worst ideas a child could have and somehow always managed to convince Derek to do it for her. A modern-day Jekyll and Hyde terrorized her home.

But Matthew, He was the sweetest. Being a single child till the age of 4 meant he was around Spencer and Y/N all the time, just the three of them. He’s shy but outgoing, he speaks his mind and he isn’t afraid to share his thoughts and feelings. He’s the best part of both of them but with all the confidence to follow his dreams. He was handsome and smart, he was sweet and kind, he was her baby. Forever and always, no matter how big he got.

He’s smart like Spencer, but not jumping through elementary school as fast. They agreed to let him decide when he turned 14. He deserved the chance to grow up with his own age group, to make friends and memories that were good and happy, to build the confidence to stand up for himself and others before he finished school. He didn’t mind it, he enjoyed helping other students when he finished his work early and asking for extra credit assignments.

And he liked being in class with Roz LaMontagne. They were smitten with each other from day one, always holding hands and playing nicely. JJ and Y/N always felt bad peeling them apart from each other at the end of a playdate, they were best friends.

It was like Roz had 2 older brothers with Henry and Matt, the 3 of them being so close in age they were often mistaken for triplets, with JJ and Y/N being their lesbian moms. It was a ruse that came in handy when they saw men checking them out, or when they wanted a family discount at the zoo.

Her life felt perfect, it was far from it in reality but she was happy with that. She worked long hours, her kids missed her every day, she didn’t see Spencer as often as she’d like and she was always tired. But that was what it took, she would work herself to the bone in an instant if it meant that she could come home and be snuggled like this every time.

“How was your week?” She asked Harper, brushing her strawberry blond hair behind her ear as she cuddled into her other side. Now having 3 children laying on top of her.

“Dad took us to the air and space museum,” Derek answered for her.

“No way!” Y/N enthused. “You need to tell me everything you learned!”

“The Museum is the largest of the Smithsonian's 19 museums and its Center for Earth and Planetary studies is one of the Institution's nine research centres. More than eight million people a year visit the Museum's two locations, making it one of the most visited museums in the country,” Matthew explained, remembering the sign at the entrance from memory.

“Wow, what was everyone’s favourite part? Maybe we can go again soon and you can all show me?” She suggested, riling them all up till they were bouncing on the mattress and screaming suggestions back and forth.

“Okay, okay,” Y/N settled them down. Watching them all sit-down and smile as they tried to stop laugh and listen. “Why don’t we go get breakfast and spend the morning together before we get ready to go to Aunt Penny’s party tonight okay?”

“I thought it was Uncle Dave's party?” Derek asked.

“It’s at his house but you know how aunt penny plans,” Y/N smiled at him. “How about you all go get dressed and pick something nice to wear while I talk to your dad for a bit?”

“Anything I want to wear?” Harper questioned her, very serious.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head, “something nice, but yes your choice.”

“Yes!” Harper screamed, hopping off the bed making the whole room shake as she ran down the hall. The sound of her bare feet slapping the hardwood carrying through the hallway in an echo.

“Matty, I’ll dress Alice, can you just watch her for a minute?” Spencer asked as he placed Alice in the middle of the bed.

“Sure,” Matthew smiled. “Come on Ali, I’ll read you a book?”

She put her arms out for her brother to carry her, and soon enough it was just Spencer and Y/N all alone again. Spencer and her both falling back against the pillows and sighing in the quiet.

Spencer pulled her into a hug, wrapping himself around her as he kissed her cheek, “I missed you so much, I hate when you’re gone.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you,” she said softly. “I got a job offer last night, and I think I’m going to take it.”

“What is it?”

“VICAP and the BAU are merging, even more, I’ve been asked to be the Chief of VICAP to personally overview the program and pass the information along to Prentiss,” She explained. “It would be a 9-5 thing, 5 days a week. I’d be home for dinner and all weekend long. We could have another baby or go on vacation? You know the possibilities are endless.”

Spencer kissed her again, “you’d be able to help people and be home all the time.”

“Exactly,” she smiled into his embrace. “I told them I’d let them know later today, they want me to start next month.”

“Follow your gut,” Spencer whispered, happy at the decision she was making either way.

“My gut is currently saying ‘feeeeed meeee’, so let’s get going!” She cheered as she tried to escape from his embrace.

He just held on tighter, tickling her stomach and kissing her neck, “help!” She cried, joking obviously and the kids knew that. Sure enough, 4 pairs of feet came running back into their room, dog piling them.

“I said help! Not suffocate me?!” She teased them as Spencer let her go, each taking a child and tickling them instead. Everyone was screaming again, giggling from deep in their stomach, feeling sick from how happy they were.

She loved every moment of it.

—

After 10 years, the BAU had gone through a lot of changes. Everyone seemed to come and go at least once, some leaving for good when their families started. But there were a lot of new faces now, once someone was on the team they were family.

It was a rare occasion for everyone to get together, especially now that almost everyone had kids. Spencer and Y/N went from being the 2nd set of parents to aunty and uncle to 8 kids in 10 years.

That meant that there were currently 12 screaming kids terrorizing Rossi’s beautiful backyard as the adults sat around the fire. “Please tell me no one here has a baby announcement to make, I don’t think I can handle a thirteenth,” Rossi complained, grey hair making him look more like papa Rossi than uncle Dave now.

“No,” everyone said in unison, laughing at the abundantly clear meaning. They were all too tired to do it all again.

“Like Spencer’s mom said, why have another when you can stop at perfection?” Emily joked as she leaned into Noelle’s embrace. “PJ is the best little guy in the world.”

“Spencer makes some great kids,” Y/N laughed. Remembering that time Emily nervously asked them if Spencer would be the donor for her child. Wanting her kid to be born with the best DNA she could think of.

“That he does,” Noelle smiled, looking into the yard to see PJ, Michael and Hank roughhousing like they always were.

They all had kids fairly close together, always making sure each new member of the BAU's gifted children program had friends who were more like family in their lives. Their small chosen family expanded not only in size but with the amount of love they shared for each other.

Henry was 12 now, Jack 15. They had always gotten along well together, being a little more on the nerdy side. They welcomed Matthew into their little group with open arms, as well as Roz.

Hotch ended up becoming Section Chief, taking a desk job so that he could spend more time with his family. They welcomed Jessie 6 years ago, right around the time Y/N had the twins. She was a spitting image of Haley with all the stern seriousness of Hotch. Seeing her and Harper try and work together was always funny. Harper and Derek were always trying to start shit somewhere, while Jessie ran to Y/N to tattle on them. It was the funniest dynamic out of all the age groups, and it was only going to get worse as they grew up.

“I don’t know,” Y/N sighed, looking at her kids as they all smiled and laughed. The joy they brought her was unimaginable, “I think 5 would be interesting.”

“You’re a psycho, and I should know, I’m an expert,” JJ just shook her head, blinking at the craziness. “I can barely handle 3.”

“Alice was so easy though,” she whined. “All of them were good, I miss having a baby who wanted to cuddle with me. It’s not fair Spencer gets all the attention now.”

“You could always quit, they’d love that,” he teased her softly, not wanting to wake Alice as she slept on him, tired from playing with everyone during the afternoon.

“My new position is going to be better for us,” she smirked.

“What position?” Penelope yelled at her.

“I’m going to be the VICAP unit chief,” she smiled, watching them all light up as they congratulated her. Starling the sleeping Alice on Spencer’s chest.

“I think I’ve done enough fieldwork, I’d like to cook more dinners and read more bedtime stories now,” she smiled. “I never thought I’d say that.”

“I don’t think any of us did,” Haley added. “I never expected Aaron to slow down, but when he did I think it was the best thing he chose to do. Jack and Jessie love having him around all the time.”

“To 10 plus years on the job, 10 years of friendship and the 12 new lives we brought into this world,” Y/N said as she lifted her can of ginger-ale, everyone following with their own drinks.

“To family,” Prentiss added.

“To family,” they all repeated.

Taking a sip before smiling at each other, everything ended up okay. It was more than they ever expected, and everything they hoped for.

—

The kids all fell asleep on the ride home. Spencer and Y/N each taking one of the twins upstairs first, placing them in their beds softly before returning to the garage for the others. Finding Matthew trying to carefully bring Alice inside to help his parents.

“Hey Matty it’s okay,” Spencer whispered, placing a hand on his back. “you go inside with your mom and I’ll take care of this.”

“Okay,” he replied, extremely tired as his eyelids drooped.

Y/N wrapped her arm around his shoulders, he was almost as tall as her already and she wasn’t ready for that. “Come on my baby,” she whispered as she led him into the house and up the stairs.

She helped him change into a pair of pyjamas before helping him into his bed, covering him in his adorable planet-covered sheets. She tucked him in nice a snug before sitting on the edge, looking down at him as he closed his eyes and settled in.

She brushed his brown curls off his face, making way for the kiss she was about to leave on his forehead. “Goodnight my Matty Magoo, I love you to the moon and back.”

“I love you to the edge of the milky way,” he replied with a small smile. “I’m excited for you to be home more. Dad worries about you and it makes him sad, I like seeing you both happy together.” He rambled all his thoughts out at night just like Spencer did.

She kissed his head softly, holding his cheeks in her hand as she looked into his beautiful brown eyes. “You are so sweet, have a good sleep and I will see you tomorrow. I love you.” She told him again, and she’d tell him a million more times if she could.

“I love you, too, mom,” he smiled one last time before closing his eyes.

She shut off his lamp, closing his door on the way out.

She stood in the hallway then, a hand on her heart as she thought about just how much she loved him. JJ wasn’t kidding when she said you grow a love so big you’d kill for them.

Back in the twin’s room, she made sure they were comfortable for the night, taking Harper out of the crazy dress and pants she picked out for the day. Tucking both of them into their little beds, kissing their heads before turning on their nightlight. They didn’t like the dark, and they liked to keep their door open a little so buddy could sneak in.

In her own room, she found Spencer in bed, shirtless with a book. He got sexier as he got older, it was impossible and yet it happened. Every year he looked different, in a wonderful way.

His hair was fluffy, his tummy was fuller— a dad bod as Penelope would call it. He wore glasses all the time now, having a hard time reading without them. It made him incredibly hot.

She changed into a cute pyjama set, satin shorts and a spaghetti strap top, wanting to get his attention away from whatever book he found this time.

She could feel his eyes on her as she changed, not wanting to look at him and make him stop.

He put his book down when she got in beside him, still on the right side after all these years. “What?” She asked him as he kept staring at her.

“Were you serious?”

“Yes I do think you’re sexy, I didn’t think you could read minds too?” She teased him.

“Funny,” he smiled at her. “Do you want another baby?”

She shrugged, “we could Russian roulette this and just see if it happens?”

“Seriously?” His voice dropped, softer than normal. “Because I would have 16 more kids with you if you wanted. They’re all so amazing, every time.”

“I know,” she felt her heart melt. “Matthew said you get sad when I’m not here, he worries for you.”

“All week, Harper wore her regular outfits because she likes making you laugh with her silly ones,” Spencer told her. They liked to share secrets about their kids at night. Basically profiling them.

“I love them,” her heart felt like it was going to burst.

“Come here,” Spencer requested, waiting for her to sit on his hips and look down into his eyes like she always did. She brushed the hair off his face, holding his cheeks in her hands.

His eyes are so much like Matthews, but it was Alice who looked the most like him. She had his nose, his chin, she was tall and skinny and just the most adorable copy of him. Every feature on him was in one of their kids, he saw the same thing in her.

“Are you sure?” She asked him softly.

“The only thing in the whole world that I know for certain is that I love you and this family. Even gravity is simply a hypothetical, but you and me… I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” his words soft and his expression softer.

She kissed him, pressing her lips against his for the first time in a while. It always felt like coming home, this was where she was meant to be.

When she pulled back all she wanted to do was look at him for a minute, to imagine what new little face the two of them could make together. All 4 of their children were so perfect, she couldn’t imagine a 5th possibility.

“Put a baby in me,” She whispered.

She didn’t have to tell him twice, he reached over to the night table to turn off the light before kissing her neck softly. His big, warm hands wrapped around her back, pulling her in closer to him.

He was so much different now from the first time they did this. Confident, stronger, older, but he was still her soft boy. He held her with care, kissed her like she was made out of glass. The contrast of his actions and the feeling of his rough hands on her body made her feel like she was on fire.

He pushed the straps of her shirt off her shoulders, dipping her back a little so he could kiss her cheek. He pushed her shirt down, freeing one of her breasts, holding it softly in his hands before kissing the newly exposed skin.

His tongue swiped across her nipple, making her gasp and grip his arm as she rutted into the feeling. He cradled her head in his hands, laying her back with her head now at the foot of the bed.

Still, between her legs, he pulled the satin shorts down slowly to see she never wore any underwear under them. He smirked, running his finger softly over her vagina, watching in awe as she spread her legs wider for him.

She could see how hard he was, his erection making a tent in his boxers as he teased her softly. “Still so perfect,” he praised her. “Look how tight you are, sucking my finger inside that tight heat.”

She tightened around him on purpose then, feeling his finger slip in even more. “Fuck,” he gasped. Moving down more to place a kiss on her clit.

Her breathing picked up then, even after 11 years of sex with this man, the thought of his tongue on her still made her shiver. He was just that good, always getting better every time he dove face-first into her.

Her back arched the second his tongue connected with her clit. Pushing herself into his tongue more and more as he explored her. Two fingers were inside of her now, Spencer’s mouth kissing and sucking and licking every single inch of her pussy as she quietly gasped into the darkness.

She wanted to scream for more, she always did, but she couldn’t anymore. There were 4 sets of ears just down the hall trying to have a peaceful night’s sleep, she had to remind herself of that every time.

“Fuck, Spencer,” she whispered, biting her lip so nothing else slipped out.

“What?” He whispered against her skin, kissing her groin and lower tummy.

“Please,” she begged softly, sitting up and climbing onto his lap once more. “Daddy?”

It had been years since she said that to him, not able to utter the words once he actually became a father. It lit a fire in him, pulling her in closer before he ripped the shirt off her body.

He held her against him, kissing her neck as he basically growled at the feeling. Becoming almost feral with the thought of fucking her. She was in love with the feeling, when he got rough with her it was the best.

She enjoyed every second of it, knowing she’d wake up in the morning with beard burn on her neck and between her thighs, not giving a single fuck. It was so worth it, the tickle of his facial hair on her skin beside his mouth, she craved it.

“I need you out of those boxers, sir,” she panted, holding his hair as he continued to kiss her neck.

He pulled off her, looking at her in the darkness with lust-filled eyes. “Lay back,” he instructed her.

She always listened, laying back against the pillows as he freed himself from the confines of his underwear. Crawling on top of her and hovering slightly as he looked down at her. He brushed her hair off her face, kissing her lips lightly before smiling.

“Tell me again what you want?”

She smirked, “I want you to put a baby in me, fill me up. Let me make you a daddy again?”

The noise that left his throat was enough to make her clit twitch again, it was deep and guttural and beyond sexy. He became an animal on nights like this.

She spread her legs again, wrapping her knees around him as he pulled him in against her body. “Fuck me, Spencer.”

He lined himself up with her quickly, dragging the head of his cock through her folds a few times before he began to push in. Little by little, achingly slow. Teasing her, knowing just how badly she wanted him to pound into her.

“Yes,” she sighed as he bottomed out, dropping her head back against the pillow softly.

Her hands roamed his back, waiting for him to start to move again. Digging her nails in when he finally did, pulling out slowly before pushing back in with effort.

“Ah,” she moaned softly, covering her own mouth as he started to move faster.

“Shhh,” he reminded her, kissing her neck again as he found his rhythm.

“Shut up and fuck me then,” she sounded desperate. “Please,” she added. Not wanting him to stop out of spite.

“Shut up and take it,” he ordered, placing his own hand over her mouth as he fucked her harder.

She couldn’t believe it, he was holding one hand over her mouth while his other reached for her clit, making her jolt forward at the contact. It was everything she wanted, it was rough and powerful and just the best reminder that she belonged to him.

Spencer was hers, she was his, they created this entire world together. She felt so overwhelmed, she wasn’t aware that she was crying at the pleasure till Spencer moved his hand off her mouth to wipe off a tear.

“Keep going,” she encouraged him. “Please, please.”

“Shhh,” he soothed her, “I’m going to make you feel so good bunny, you’re going to be so full, so beautiful carrying another one of our babies.”

That did it for her, she tilted her head back as she arched her back. Pulling Spencer’s fingers into her mouth so that she wouldn’t moan too loud as she came on his cock.

Spencer shuttered at the feeling, fucking into her with vigour as he tried to hold in his own moans. Sounding more like a whimper when he finally came, spilling into her with the force of a Mack truck.

He dropped against her body then, breathing deep into her neck. She wrapped her legs around him tightly, holding him inside of her so nothing slipped out. “Fuck.”

“I love you,” Spencer breathed against her skin.

She ran her fingers through his hair softly before kissing his forehead. “I love you more.”

They stayed like that for a while, only pulling apart finally to get cleaned up. Spencer turned back on the light, helping her to the bathroom quietly before stripping the sheets off the bed.

She returned to a freshly made bed and a dressed Spencer waiting for her. She put her shorts and a t-shirt back on, slipping into bed and cuddling into him once more. Having to look presentable for when the kids eventually came running into their room at 7 am.

She sighed into his embrace, smiling softly against his skin. “What was that Buddha quote you told me all those years ago?”

“When you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to each other,” Spencer replied softly.

“Goodnight, Spence,” she kissed his jaw softly as she snuggled in closer.

“Goodnight, bunny.”

the end

[everything-person]

Last Voyage

Summary: Emma surprises Killian with an old fashioned voyage with his old crew then Killian has a surprise for Emma

*cough cough*

“You alright?”

“Fine love. Just needed to clear my throat.”

Killian and Emma were walking along the beach in the early morning slowly making their way to the docks.

“We’re almost there.”

“What’s with all the secrecy love?”

Emma smiles up at him there was a shine in her eyes, “You’ll see.”

They made their way down the pier where the Jolly Roger was docked.

“Do you wish to have another one of our private adventures aboard the Jolly Roger? If that’s all you could have just said Swan.”

“Not this time.”

They made their way into the deck where they were greeted by some familiar faces.

“Welcome aboard Captain.”

Before them stood Henry, Hope, Smee and some of his old crew.

Killian smiled while also furrowing his brow. Turning to his wife for answers.

“I thought you might wish to have a day at sea. Re-live your glory days.”

“My glory days started the day I met you Swan.” Picking up her hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. “Will you be joining me, love?”

“No,” she whispered, “not this time. I have somethings to take care of.”

He turned to Henry and Hope. He approached them with open arms.

“Then it’s looks like we’ll be having all the fun. Don’t worry love I’ll have them back before Sundown and we will eagerly enrapture you with our tales of our adventurous day.”

Henry looked down before meeting his eyes, “Actually we promised mom we’d help her with her stuff today. Maybe tonight we can play dice. I might just beat you this time.”

“Oh then perhaps I should give Dave a call. Show him what a pirates life was like.”

Henry shifted clearing his throat before saying, “Uh Grandpa is taking care of the sheriff office while we are helping mom today. Sorry but you stuck with your old crew for today.”

Killian nodded at Henry before turning his attention to his daughter. She had the same shine in her eyes as her mother, biting her lip, looking anywhere but at him.

“What’s wrong lass?”

She inhaled a deep breath before speaking, “Nothing Papa. I’ll just miss you.”

He cupped his daughters face, “Don’t worry, my little cygnet. I’ll be home tonight.”

She nodded embracing him. She burrows her face in his chest breathing him in. “I love you Papa.”

Killian squeezes his daughter not sure what has her so distraught, “I love you to my little cygnet. From your first breath far beyond my last.”

Hope let go heading to the gang plank quickly, without another glance to her father.

Henry approached the man that’s been a mentor, a father figure to him. Wrapping him in his arms, “Good bye Killian.”

Letting go he followed his sister down the gang plank waiting for his mother at the bottom.

Killian turned to see the love of his life standing there. She took slow step towards him her eyes never leaving his. Reaching up held his face, her eyes scanned every inch.

“What’s wrong Emma?”

She’s hooked her head offering him a smile, “Nothing. It just. . . sometimes I can’t believe that blacksmith I tied to a tree that said I need him alive would be so right.”

Killian chuckled, “Aye. Sometimes I can’t believe I forgot about that damned bar wench that kissed the hell out of me.”

She smiled, leaning up catch his lips in a soft kiss. Pulling away she rested her forehead against his, “I love you Killian. Thank you for everything.”

“I love you too Emma. Forever and always.”

Her hands slid down his cheeks to his neck over his shoulders down his arm grasping his hook and hand. Her eyes never leaving his, she started backing away holding onto his hand until she was to far away to hold on any more. Letting her hand fall she turned making her way off the ship. Henry reaches out his hand to help her off the last step intertwining her arm with him.

“When did you become such a gentleman?”

“I’m always a gentleman mom. I learned from the best.”

They made their way up the pier. They say and watched as the ship set sail. Her Captain on the quarter deck waving to his family before turning to wheel where he belonged.

As they stood watching Hope couldn’t hold in her emotions anymore. A sob escaped her lips, as tears started pouring out her eyes. “He should be home. We should be with him.”

Emma embraces her daughter, “That’s never how he wanted to go.”

“But he was fine. He was walking and knew who we were.”

“He also thought Grandpa was alive. He didn’t see us. He probably saw you as the little girl who would ask him to close the window so Peter Pan couldn’t get her. He probably saw me as the ten year old boy he helped rescue from Neverland.”

Emma pulled away looking at her children who have grown into adults that stood before her now.

“Yes but he is so proud of the people you have become. He was so happy to be a father and be apart of this family. He loves you both so much.”

Hope let out another sob as Henry wrapped an arm around her, letting one lone tear slide down his cheek.

“Besides it’s for the best he didn’t see me as I am now. A wrinkly old crown with gray straw for hair,” Emma let out a breathy laugh.

Henry shook his head, “He saw you as you actually are. He always has. The beautiful Savior.”

Emma smiled at her son, “Come on let’s go home.”

Later Emma was going through some things in their room. Remembering all the good times they’ve shared in this house. The wonderful life he shared with her.

She opened his night stand finding the copy of Treasure Island she gave him.

“This is ridiculous. This person obviously had no idea what they were bloody talking about,” Killian muttered.

Emma rolled over, “Babe Go to bed.”

“This book is an atrocity love.”

“Then stop reading it.”

“Why would I do that when they just started the mutiny?”

She laughed to herself. She would always try showing him how this realm reviews pirates with movies and books. Every time he would get riled up but any time she suggested to turn it off or throw the book out he would refuse having to see how it ends.

The next thing she pulled out was a familiar black scarf.

“So now you’re a gentleman?”

“Giants can smell blood. And I’m always a gentleman.” Hook said before putting liquid on her hand.

“Ah! Ow! What is that?”

“Rum and a bloody waste of it.”

He gently wrapped her hand with the soft material tying it off with his mouth. Her fingers lightly brushing against his cheek.

Emma sighed remembering the spark she felt. Wondering not for the first time how much more time they would’ve had if she trusted him. If they came back together. How different their adventures would’ve been.

Something shiny caught her eye and she reached in and pulled out the last item in the drawer.

It was one of his hooks.

Killian kicked open their bedroom door while his lips fused to her. Her legs wrapped around his hips her latched around his neck.

Coming up for air Emma whispers, “Never do that again.”

“I’ll never leave your side even if the gods try to rip us a apart,” he promised before capturing her lips again.

Falling onto the bed they began divesting each other of their clothing. Killian reaches to take off his hook. Emma reaches her hand up, only in her bra and underwear, looking at him through her eyelashes.

“Leave it on.”

Killian groans, “You little minx.”

Emma sighed. As the memory fades away. So many nights, and some days, filled with passion. Both of them always willing to show the other how much they love them. Always up to meet a challenge.

Moving to put the items back in their respective places the book falls from her lap and clatters to the floor. Emma places the scarf and hook back before reaching down picking up the book. When she lifts it a note falls from its pages. Placing the book on the bed she once again reaches down and grabs the fallen piece of paper.

Unfolding it she is greeted with Killian hand writing.

‘Dearest Swan,

I’m sorry. I never wished to leave and now I have no choice in the matter. It seems to be a cruel joke. To be sent back to you by the gods themselves only to have my mind unravel while I’m still with you. I know I don’t have much time left. And I plan to cherish every moment with you I can.

When I do go, all I wish is to be at your side. For the last thing I hold is our family in my arms. The last thing I touch be your face. The last thing I taste be you lips. The last thing I see is the love in your eyes for me. If I am to drawn my last breath I wish it is your kiss that steals it.

And when I am gone. I will keep my promise I made all those years ago. I will move on but I promise you no heaven the gods can provide will compare to the life I have lived with you.

You are the love on my life. The mother of my children. My wife. My savior. My true love.

However long we are apart that will never change. My love will stay with you and I hope give you comfort in your time of need. And when it is your time I can only hope that the gods will once again reunite us.

Until then I ask that every day you live. Hug our children and give them an extra squeeze for me.

With all my love. Yours from the end of the realms and time.

Killian’

Tears fell freely from her eyes. They were never sure if Killian knew what was happening to him. Now she had proof that he did.

A noise pulled her from her thoughts. Still clutching the note to her chest she made her way downstairs. Sharp knocking was coming from her front door.

She opened it to find a pair of blue eye that she engraved into her memory.

“Killian.”

He bent down wrapping her in his arms, burying his face in her neck.

“Sorry ma’am I know you weren’t expecting us so soon but he insisted on turning around and coming home,” Smee explained his signature hat in his hands.

“That’s alright. Thank you for bringing him home.”

Smee nodded, closing the door as he left.

“Why did you send me away love?”

“I thought you’d like to be at sea when the time came.”

Killian finally lifted his head, his gaze burning into her, “Don’t you know Swan all I have ever wanted was to be with you.”

Emma gave him a sad smile, “I do now.”

They made their way up to their bed laying down curling up together one last time. They not sure how long they laid there just enjoying their time together.

Killian reaches up brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face. “I think it’s time love.”

Emma nodded scooting closer.

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“You aren’t,” she said with a shaky breath her lip quivering, “You will always be with me. And I’ll follow you shortly.”

She leaned up capturing his lips once last time. She pulls away resting her forehead against his.

“I love you Emma Swan,” he whispered.

She watched as the deep blue eyes that looked last all her walls that have always saw her closed for the last time.

A tear fell from her eye landing on his cheek sliding down his face.

“I love you Killian Jones.”

[inkabelledesigns]

Sam and Jan’s Apartment - Nightmares are Reality Sims

So as of late, I’ve had a LOT of ideas brewing for yet another Bendy fic, and in some of my planning for it, I’ve built one of the locations in the Sims 4 to use as reference. It’s been busy at home, and I needed this to relax, so I’m glad I took the time to do that briefly. You may have seen my previous post about Nightmares are Reality, but if you haven’t, here’s the short version: Samantha Lorenzo from 2021 and Sammy Lawrence from 1946 wake up one morning with their bodies switched, and now both have to embrace the other’s friend group to not only find a way to get back, but also stop the inevitable fate of the studio staff as shown in the novel Dreams Come to Life. There’s angst, there’s fluff, and it get pretty rough, but there’s so much to play with for this story. 

Come with me, and let’s dive into Sam and Jan’s apartment!

So first, we gotta talk about Sam and Jan themselves. Samantha is the curly haired one, and Janet is the one in the hat (she wouldn’t be caught dead without one). Unfortunately the Sims does not allow me to change heights (and I don’t have a mod for it), but imagine for me if you will that Jan is significantly shorter than Sam. I did not have a ton in mind in the way of colors for them, but together their wardrobes have a LOT of red and black, with a little white and tan thrown in. I have Sam with the lifetime goal of being a successful author, which falls in line with her love of storytelling in modern media. Jan on the other hand is a songwriter and musician that’s still trying to find her path. The two met in college and graduated not too long ago, and now they’re both hunting for work (which Janet has part time when the fic begins). 

In addition to them, we have their cat, Figaro (named after the cat from Disney’s Pinnochio, Sam is a nerd like that).

Now, we move onto their apartment!

I chose the 1020 Alto Apartments lot for this, which came with the condition of the Romantic Fireplace that I can’t remove. But I added on Home Studio and Great Acoustics so they could bump up their skills a little easier. This is my first time playing with a lot challenge, and that is Spooky, which makes it so ghosts will come over now and again, which scares the crap out of both of them. And uh, funny story...

The ghost of Joey Drew was the third one to come, and he was VERY angry when Sam met him. X’’’D I did not see that coming, but now I kinda want to make more Bendy ghosts just to see if they pop in. Would you guys be into that? I mean Depths Henry is a ghost, so I probably SHOULD make him. 

At any rate, let’s look at the layout. Bear in mind, I am not phenomenal at building houses, much less apartments, but I think this worked out. 

It opens up into the kitchen, which is filled with all the essentials (these ladies are big on their caffeine). Currently I headcanon that Sam cooks while Jan cleans, but Jan is the better baker out of the two of them. Sam also likes to have fresh ingredients, and while I can’t do a window box on this lot, I can have some indoor vertical plants.

There isn’t much of a separation between living room and kitchen, but this is the living room! Some stuff is for playing with (since I actually play with my households now and then), like the dancefloor, but others are for actual use. They use a record player to listen to jazz and other music, and the furniture would be all mismatched like that (they were broke college kids, gotta sit on something, right? probably got it from a bunch of garage sales). The photo setup is something they use, but it belongs to their friend Vincent, which brings me to the first bedroom.

I haven’t made these two as Sims yet, but Sam and Jan have another duo living with them, Jess and Vincent, who are a couple. Jess is a makeup artist who often experiments on her friends, and she hopes to get into the makeup and wardrobe side of the cinematography scene. Vince on the other hand is a photography and film guy who’s an absolute sweetheart. Those two share this bedroom (Jess had more of a say in the decorating, Vince is pretty easygoing about the aesthetic). 

I had to make sure there was a special corner for Jess’ makeup stuff, she’d want space to move around. The mirror is also something she loves, and they all borrow it a lot. Why?

Because of this creepy room nextdoor! X’’’D So I just learned mannequins are a thing, and I can dress them however I want, so I put some in this pretty much functionless closet. (Though the two masculine ones have been glitching in a way that turns their heads a little at certain angles, and it creeps me out a LOT) This is the cosplay closet, which mostly Jess and Sam use, but all four of them have some numbers in here. These four are a cosplay group, mostly for Bendy, but for other fandoms too. Jess likes going as Twisted Alice (heavy special effects makeup, go figure), Vincent likes Henry and Joey (he likes scruffy nerds and suits), Janet dresses as Jack Fain (though she’s also done some gender bends of other characters), and Samantha (as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now) is right there as the Sammy for their group. If I can ever learn how to work with custom content, I would love to have a cosplay for each of them on these mannequins, but we’ll save that for later. These nerds are absolutely the types to play around with cosplay photos and tiktok videos, I’m sure they duet often. XD

We have some bathrooms, which are pretty self explanatory, but then we have Janet’s room. She is big on the posters and loves having her instruments right there and ready to play. She plays guitar and piano, but I may have her pick up violin down the line. Both of them have the geek trait and are prone to playing videogames more often than not, but Jan is mostly found playing her music. 

We have a small corner of the hallway for the cat. And then last but not least: Sam’s room.

This is Samantha’s creative space. Much like my space, when she’s working, it gets messy. She loves turning on some jazz while she writes, and while she’s crafting. I gave her and Jan the knitting supplies, since I don’t really know how else to simulate sewing for these characters, and they also have some clutter. Sam has one additional mannequin in her room, and she’s into figures, so there’s one of those on the desk. Her closet and bathroom are pretty simple, but that closet is gonna be really important when we get into the story, you’ll see why later.

As always, I have their Sims up on the gallery, along with the apartment, in case you want to play with them for yourself. Just note: because of how apartments work in this game, it’s uploaded as a room, so you’re going to have to fill some walls in and add doors if you want it to work like an apartment would (and you can totally turn it into a house if you want to, you don’t need to have 1020 Alto if you wanna use this). Just search for KatAlystDesigns in the Sims 4 gallery! I’ve also uploaded a few other houses recently, including the DCTL cast for my BATIM mermaid collection, and Buddy’s mother and grandpa. 

I had a LOT of fun putting this together last night, and it’s given me a much better idea of how I want to work with things for this narrative. Bear in mind, Sammy’s the one who’s gonna have to live here and put up with it, so having these details established is gonna help me to make the fic go smoother. I may tweak some things, like actually using upper cabinets in the kitchen (which I always seem to forget about), but we’ll see. XD Either way, this was a good exercise.

I hope you’re all looking forward to exploring these two and their story as much as I am! As a quick final note, I actually have a blog set up for Nightmares are Reality to mimic the one Sam has in the fic, and I’m thinking of using it as a somewhat RP, somewhat fic and content delivery system for the story, so if you’ve got thoughts on that, or stuff you’d like to see, do let me know! Here’s wishing you are all wonderful day!

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Epilogue to Mr. Wonderful.

A/n: was sitting on this idea for a few days and since Uncharted 4 has an Epilogue I decided that this fic needed one too.

Summary: Cassandra find's out about her parents troubled past.

Wrinkling her nose, Cassandra let out a sigh.Her fingers petting her dogs head, playing then losing the game had lost her interest. Though she didn't care, she just wanted to know where her parents were. She knew they couldn't have gone somewhere important since her baby brother was gone but that did not mean she was not worried for them. Biting her lip she slipped off her head then out of her room, glancing around she sighed as her shoulders started to drop. "Mom? Dad? Hellooo?" Peaking into her parents room she got a glance spotting the baby monitor by her mothers bedside table.

"I think they abandoned us." Glancing to her dog, she let out a small bark as she started to wander the halls. The walls were adorn with things her mother must have found from her former job. Stopping for a moment she titled her head to the side as looked at a wall filled with pictures, one was of her mother in her wedding dress. You looked so pretty, so happy.

Aunt Elena was by your side, your maid of honor of course and her daddy. He looked so happy, with a large happy smile on his face though she could have sworn he had tears in the corner of his eyes. The next picture was of her Aunt's wedding to Chloe, the two looked so happy together. She was still a baby when it happened so she couldn't remember much. The whole family was together in his photo, you were standing next to Elena while Nathan stood behind you. She was in your arms of course, while Uncle Sam, Grandpa Sully and a woman she couldn't recognize where all standing next to Aunt Chloe.

She loved her Aunt's and Uncle Sam, they all had funny stories to tell her about her father though they'd always wait when Nathan was away. The next photo was of her, must have been taken after she was born. You looked so tried and her father looked scared but Cassandra could see the love in your eyes, she was so lucky to have parents like you two.

The next few photo's where of her when she was growing up but the last one she noticed brought a large smile to her face. It was when her little brother was born, she was sitting next to you in your hospital bed while she held Victor. It was her favorite picture, she loved her little brother and she could not wait until her got older.Shaking her head she walked into the kitchen, grabbing an apple from the fridge she glanced around the empty home.

"Maybe they're outside." They always could have came home and stayed outside letting Victor dip his toes into the water. Opening the door she watched as her dog sprinted outside. "Off she goes." Closing the door behind her she walked down the steps, feet hitting the sand she glanced around again seeing out nice it was outside. "Perfect day! Now I just need the rest of the boat crew." Running down the beach, she then quickly made her way down the dock's noticing everything was all waiting by the boat. "Well everything is all here."

Shaking her head she then turned her attention to the boat house, biting her lip she wondered if they could be in their. Well it was worth a shot to check, giving one last pet to her dogs head she quickly rushed over. Slowly walking up the small steps she took a peak inside seeing that the door was open though she let out a lower groan. "Not here either." Though what she did notice was a magazine with her picture resting on a desk. "So goofy." Smiling she shook her head placing it back down as she took another peak around the room. She spotted more pictures of you, one looked old or rather it was of you when you were much younger. You were on a dig site not looking at the camera too focused on whatever item you were cleaning.

Placing the picture back down she grasped her fathers keys, if they were here then that meant they couldn't have gotten far. Glancing towards the large red bureau she looked down at the keys in her hands before she walked to it. "There is no way...just no." Trying each key. "no way." Turning the last key then hearing the click she could not believe how lucky she was. Giving a glance around she slowly opened the doors curious to see what her parents would keep hidden.

"Woah....I knew it!." Grinning she let her eyes scan over everything. Glancing at a cross, she quickly grabbed it as she looked it over. "What is this?"Shaking her head she placed it back down spotting a golden coin. "A Spanish Doubloon....but from where?" Placing the coin back she then reached up grabbing a silver skull. "Aha creepy but kinda cool." Looking around the wardrobe she nibbled her lip, she wanted to look at everything but it was a white journal that caught her eye. "Hello"

Giving another glance over her shoulder she placed the journal down. Tracing over the writing she started to turn the pages getting more and more engrossed in them. "Whoa...Henry Avery....the Gunsway heist."Pausing for a moment her fingers heisted to turn the next page.

"Wait...did you try looking for Avery's treasure."

Turning each page she only stopped once she noticed a Polaroid picture. Turning it over she noticed how old it must have been and who it must be off. "No way...is that dad?" Placing the picture down she wondered if her little brother would look like him when he did when he was older or be more like you ?

Carefully turning the next page she smiled shaking her head. Tipping her head to the side she grabbed a photo with writing on the back of it.

'Found this on my old camera-thought you and Y/n would like to have it' -Elena.

Flipping it over she looked over the image, it was of you, Aunt Elena, Grandpa Sully and her dad. Her father was standing next to a treasure chest while you and her Aunt where sitting on top of a bunch of crates while a small chest as behind grandpa Sully. She then went back to her father, he had a gun leaning against his shoulders though the man's gaze wasn't focused on the camera like everyone else was, not he was looking at you.

"What the hell." Hearing voices she tensed as she rushed to the bureau, quickly closing it she glanced down at the picture in her hands. "Crap." Quickly making her way back to the journal she placed the picture inside then stood in front of it just as you both walked in.

Nathan carrying his son, it's been a few months since his first birthday and he was eager to teach his little boy on how to walk. "There you are...we’ve been looking for you. What are you doing in here?" Wincing, Nathan felt his son grab a stand of his hair tugging it.

"Uh looking for you guys."

Smiling you quickly took Victor from Nathans arms as the little boy quickly snuggled into the crook of your neck. "C'mon, the boats all loaded up." Nodding to your daughter you started to walk out the door.

"Um uh, ya I'll be with you guys in a sec."

Though hearing her made you stop in your tracks. "Why?"

"Uh...I just need to um." Trying to think of an excuse she watched as you both walked towards her. "Get."

"What's up Cassie?" Nathan frowned looked over at his daughter.

"Okay...don't be mad." Pushing her back away from the table she gave a small gesture to the white journal. Spotting the white journal, Nathan quickly opened the bureau's doors.

"Hey I said don't be mad." Holding back a laugh, she was more like Nathan than you'd like to admit.

"Keys." Stepping to his daughter he held out his hand. "So what did you see?" he asked tucking the keys away as he grabbed his mother's journal.

"Nothing really" Cassie shrugged her shoulders. "Well that photo of you two, Aunt Elena and Sully....with a bunch of Spanish looking treasure....and a shotgun."

Sighing you took the picture from Nathan, Victor all ready asleep against your shoulder. "Ya..." You glanced over at your husband as he locked the bureau's door. "This was bound to happen sometime...maybe we should just tell her."

"She's not ready for it." Nathan shot back.

"Ready for what?! All that crazy shit in there!" Cassie frowned, she wasn't a baby anymore.

"Hey language."

"Sorry...but you guy's are literally keeping skeleton's in your closet." Stepping close to her parents, she wanted to know what they were hiding. "Or at least a silver skull of some time."

Nathan frowned, he placed his hand against his son's head. "You know, I don't think you're ready for this."

"Really?" Cassie crossed her arms over her chest, she didn't think it was very fair.

"Nate." Your turned to face him fully, he still wasn't looking at you. "It's time to have the talk."

Smiling she glanced over at you. "Ya! it's totally time!...wait..which talk are we walking about here?" She did not want that talk, especially with her baby brother in the room.

Nathan frowned dropping his hand. "She's just a kid."

"She is older than you and Sam when you started all of this." You shot back trying to reason with him.

"That's- That is different than you know it."

Glancing between you both you, she sighed closing her eyes as she tried to let you both know that she was ready. " But I think I am old enough to know about it. Right?

"Old enough?" Nathan chuckled. "How old are you again?"

Rolling her eyes she fixed her glasses. "Ahaha....funny..mom?"

Holding back a groan, Nathan sighed as he scratched the back of his neck. "Where do we begin?", Smiling you glanced over at Nathan shaking her head. Your eyes glancing down at the picture.

"For me it started when this guy called up my sister with this scoop on a 'massive historical find.' well Elena not wanting to go alone she call me up and I'm not going to say no to that..though to me he sounded like a fraud."

"Yea.A handsome Fraud."

Nathan gave you a smile though you let out a small laugh. "No..I haven't met him yet."

"Oh she knew."

"So this fraud tells your Aunt Elena. 'If you fund this trip....then I'll give you the coffin of Sir Frances Drake.'

Walking over to your husband who was leaning against the table you returned his smile. "And for the rerecord I totally delivered."

"Yea...you delivered us into the hands of Indonesian pirates." Leaning against his shoulder, Nathan let his son grab on his finger as the little boy slowly fell back asleep.

"Hey. You know that I had nothing to do with that?" Both of you let out a small laugh.Cassandra shook her head as she moved closer to you two.

"Whoa...okay guy's time out! You're saying that you guy's were attacked by pirates after you found the coffin of Sir Frances Drake. Is that right."

"Pretty much ya." Nathan scratched his cheek.

Once you agreed to his claims, Cassie quickly shook her head. "Bullshit."

"Language." Both you of shout.

"Crap."

"Better" - "Nathan!"

"All right! so keep going!" She wanted to hear more. Shaking his head, Nathan smiled. While he was nervous the man was eager to tell more about you and his own adventures though the may have to leave out the part of your near death. He did not like think about almost losing you. "Alright...the boat is ready and it's a beautiful day out so if we're going to talk then lets do it on the water."

Following her parents out, Cassie started to bounce form excitement. "Wait! what did Sir France's Drake look like?! was it gross!"

Staying by her fathers side she looked up at him beaming. "Well he actually wasn't there..Just his journal, with a map to El Dorado.

"The city of gold?" she asked in excitement.

"Actually that was just a rumor, it was a statue! a cursed statue."

"NO way seriously?"

"Yea seriously but I'll go back to that later. Now the map lead us to the middle of the Amazon jungle-"

Watching the two of them brought a smile to your face, shaking your head you glanced down at the sleeping child. "Don't worry Victor, when you are old enough I'll make sure you get to hear the story about how much of a hero your daddy was."

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Too Smart for Your Own Good: Part 3

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader, (Past and Future) Henry Cavill x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, one night stand, unprotected sex

Word Count: 5,013

A/N: Doesn’t have a completed end yet, but just giving you more content to try to get myself out of a writing funk.

Part 1 / Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You are receiving a collect call from an inmate at a Los Angeles County Correctional Facility. Would you like to accept these charges?”

“Yes.” You said clearly as you stopped loading your groceries in your blacked out Range Rover to grab your ear bud out of your purse. “Hang on, Daddy. I’m finding my headphone.”

“Take your time.” He said through your car speaker as you dug out the carrier and put the head phone in your ear. You found your phone and switch the bluetooth from your running car to your ear phone and hesitated for a moment.

“You hear me?”

“Crystal fucking clear.” He responded in your ear, which made you nod and drop your phone in the cup holder so it wouldn’t accidentally drop the call in your bag. “Hell are you up to?”

“Grocery store.” You sighed as you went back to your original task. “Was running out of shit at the house to eat. Oh! You will be pleased to know that you are going to be a grandpa, and I think I may have figured out a break in my black hole theory in the pool last night.”

“OK.” Your dad laughed as you walked the cart over to the return. “So I’m a fucking grandparent. Thanks a lot, princess.”

“Any time!” You teased as you got in your cooled down car and buckled your seatbelt.

“You got more on the black whole theory?” He asked, even though he had no idea what you were talking about half the time when you went on one of your ‘space rants’ as he liked to call them.

“Work in progress.” You said with a shrug to spare him the agony of listening to you drone on. “What’s going on in the world of the blue jumpsuits?”

“Fucking parole hearing got bumped up.” The million thoughts that seemed to always run through your brain all simultaneously screeched to a stop, as you stopped behind a car at a red light a few streets from your house.

“You’re coming home?” You whispered as you gripped the steering wheel tight.

“I’m fuckin’ coming home, sweetheart. February 16th. Ten AM.” You nodded your head and continued with the flow of traffic as a couple tears of joy slipped down your cheeks.

“I’ll… I’ll be there.” You choked before clearing your throat. “I’ll be there to get the paperwork through.”

“I’ll need you to get a hold of Simon. I sent you out a letter this morning that’ll need some translating.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for it.” You said as you realized that the car you were following was a familiar purple Lamborghini and it was pulling into your community driveway. “Son of a bitch.”

“What, a fucking letter is inconveniencing you?” He asked sharply, making you shake your head.

“No, fucking sperm donor is back. Hold on.” You stopped your car beside the Lambo and the gate house, rolled down your heavily tinted window and looked at your cousin’s profile and the back of Colson’s shaved head. “Scott! He’s with me, let him in.”

“Run him off the fucking road.” Your father grumbled in your ear as you rolled the window back up and headed through the open side of the gate for home owners.

“In a shiny purple Lambo.” You huffed, jokingly as you hit the button for your driveway gate.

“Fuckin’ really, (Y/N)?! You got knocked up by some puck ass little bitch in a Goddamn purple Lambo?!”

“Shut up.” You grumbled as you drove down the slight hill to your garage and pulled into your spot beside your father’s Harley, his massive Chevy pick-up truck, and a tarp covered Charger that belonged to your ex.

“Goddamn Lambo. Who the fuck are you and what have you done to my fucking daughter?”

“Shut up.” You grumbled again as you got out of the car and pulled open the back door to get your groceries. You startled the slightest bit when a heavily tattooed arm reached in front of you and grabbed your bags before you could even fully open the door. You looked up at Colson as he slowly and carefully moved his body in front of yours, and you rolled your eyes and took a step back with your hands in the air. “So has the prison sent me the paperwork for the hearing?” You asked your dad as you headed toward the door.

“Should have. You’re my lawyer, princess. Check your email when you get a chance. Need me to let you go?”

“No, you’re fine.” You said as you headed past the basement bar and game room to the elevator to take you up to the main floor beside the atrium. “Have you talked to the demon head shrinker cunt yet?” Colson looked at you with his eyebrow raised as he and Ash stepped into the elevator with you, but your cousin simply tapped him on the shoulder, pointed to her ear, and whispered that you were on the phone with your dad.

“Probably won’t have to. Shit’s about over crowding. We’re stuffed three to a fucking cell in some spots. I’m almost at my 80 and I’m the closest parole date. So I’m gettin’ the boot.”

“I’ll take it.” You agreed as you pat the black marble for your bags. “But I am writing a verbally abusive letter for the deplorable conditions they are keeping you in.”

“You do that after I leave this bitch.” He told you as an automated voice let you both know you only had a minute left. “Alright baby girl, I’ll give you a call in a couple days to see if my letter arrived.”

“And I will send you a postcard of your grand blueberry when I go to the doctor on Monday.”

“I will keep my eyes out for it.” He huffed through a smile. “I love you, sweetheart. I’ll be home before you know it.”

“I can’t wait. I love you too, Daddy. Bye.” You waited for him to say good bye and for the click of him hanging up, before you turned off your earbud and looked up at your visitors. “And you’re back in my house because…?”

“OK, we’re not going to start like that.” Ash said quickly as she put her hand on Colson’s arm so he wouldn’t get mad. “We are here to rationally talk like human beings.” You hummed at her and nodded your head as you grabbed some groceries and started putting them away. 

“I brought the family history.” Kels said as he tossed a notebook on the counter beside your bags. “As much as I could figure out from the family I do talk to at least. And some personal shit you should know, too. And I’m having a lawyer draw up a contract…”

“Over my Goddamn dead body!” You roared as you spun on your heel and stormed across the wood floor toward him.

“Wait! Wait!” Ashleigh shouted over you as she stood in front of you and grabbed your wrists before you could start swinging. “It was my idea!”

“And I’ll fucking kill you too.” You threatened as you looked at her with murder in your eyes.

“Look, just breathe, OK? It’s not a custody thing. It’s a contract.”

“Look, I wanna be in my kid’s life.” Colson said over Ash as he stayed firmly parked on the barstool he was sitting in so you would feel less threatened. “And I want my kids to know each other. I wanna make sure you don’t take off and fucking run some day because we obviously can’t fucking stand each other.”

“Wonder who’s fault that is.” You snapped, sarcastically as you pulled out of Ashleigh’s grip to finish putting away your groceries.

“Yea, it’s mine, alright?” He barked. “But I still wanna make sure we both understand that this…” He said as he leaned to purposely catch your eye and gestured between your stomach and himself. “…is our child. And just like with Casie, I will want to spend time with our child on holidays and when I’m in town and not working. And I don’t want to turn around one day to find out that you packed up and moved to fucking Paris or some shit.”

“Paris is a trash covered wasteland.” You retorted under your breath as you folded all of your grocery bags and put them on the end of your counter to put back in your car later. “Probably go to Belfast… maybe Scotland...

“OK, she’s not going to run.” Ashleigh said quickly before Colson could start yelling. “But this is what the contract is going to be for. So what both of you want from the other is set in stone.”

“Yea, well I don’t want shit from him.”

“Then you should get an abortion now, bitch!” Colson roared as he finally jumped to his feet. “Because you made this fucking choice to keep my kid so you’re fucking stuck with me…”

“You better remember who the fuck you are talking to.” You said evenly as you pulled one of your fathers many hand guns out of one of the kitchen drawers. You laid it down on the counter between you with your finger outstretched along the slide where you could quickly pull the trigger if you needed to. Kels stood his ground, but Ashleigh took a few steps back away from you to be on the safe side.

“OK.” She nearly whispered as her hands started to shake at her sides. “(Y/N), let’s put that away…”

“Now it’s time for you to listen, bitch.” You started as you searched his rage filled blue eyes. “You want a contract? Fine. We can spend the next nine months and then some fine tuning a contract to your hearts content. But know this, if you think you’re in charge here, you’re not. You will run by my fucking rules, like it or not. Because if I wanted to disappear, I assure you, not even a private investigator could find me.” The pair of you stood in a stand off for a few moments, waiting for the other one to crack.

“I need a fax number.” He finally said, forfeiting the power to you. You nodded your head as you put your gun back and pulled the notebook toward you. You wrote down your email, your cell, and fax number, and ripped the page out for him.

“Appointment next Monday for the first ultrasound is at 11:15 AM. Be here at 10:30 if you want to go with me. I’ll call down to the gate and tell them you’re coming.” He nodded his head as he folded up the paper and stuck it in his pocket to pass on to his lawyer, while you gestured to the atrium to your left. “You can see yourselves out now.” You looked over at your cousin as Kels simply turned to leave and shook your head. “If you ever, ever pull a stunt like that again, I will disown you.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered as she finally stepped back over to you. “I just knew you wouldn’t take it very well, and he didn’t give me time to call…”

“You have one warning.” You told her as you kissed her cheek. “And don’t step between Colson and I. Obviously, it’s gunna be a shit show.”

“Well, he’s my boss, so I can’t let you kill him.” You rolled your eyes and shook your head as you gave her a push toward the door.

“Just wait until he meets Negan!” You called out after her with a giant smile. “He’s coming home in a few weeks!” Your cousin came to a dead stop in the atrium and turned around to look at the giant shit eating grin you had on your face.

“Shut up.”

“Hell is about to rain down on LA again!” You laughed as you grabbed the bags off the counter, and turned to head down stairs to put them back in your car. 

——

“You know, I was having a really peaceful morning.” You bitched as you stood at the top of the side stairs the next day and watched Colson get out of his car. “And then here you are.”

“Not fucking fighting.” He said more to himself as he came over and stopped in front of you. He said nothing else, leaving the ball in your court as he put his hands in the pockets of his jeans and waited. You huffed and turned on your heel to head back to your beach chair. 

“Am I going to see you every day for the rest of eternity?” You inquired as you pushed your sunglasses back down your face.

“Until we can get past this bullshit, yea.” You stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned back to look at him as he simply toed off his sneakers. “Casie’s mom and I used to fight all the fucking time.” He started as he pulled off his socks and rolled up his jeans. “But we talked it out. No matter how much we hated each other at the end. We talked, and we fought, and we screamed, and she even got a good kidney shot in once when she pushed me back into a counter. But we got through our shit for our daughter.” He stood up and looked at you with a shrug. “So we’re gunna fight it out. No contract, because that’s kind of a bullshit way to co-parent and we got like nine fucking months. So we’re gunna fucking talk.” You nodded your head slightly and gestured up the steps.

“There’s another beach chair up against the garden wall. And that bedroom has some spare bathing suits in the top dresser drawer and towels in the second. They all have tags and there are a bunch of different sizes.” You shrugged and gestured over your shoulder at your chair. “Sunscreen…” With an internal groan, you turned around and walked away to continue to get some sun. You tossed your phone back in the back pocket of your chair and sat down gently as another wave gently crashed across your lap. “Fucking sunscreen…” You grumbled as you shook your head.

“Alright so we start from the beginning.” Kels said as he set up his chair right next to yours a few minutes later. “How far along are you?”

“Six weeks, two days.” He nodded his head and stretched his legs out as another wave washed up on the shore.

“And we’re keeping it?”

“Despite the fact that we hate each other? Yes.” His head continued to nod as he chose to ignore your annoyance.

“I grew up in Cleveland.” He started as he reached over and grabbed the sunscreen from your cupholder. “For the most part. Lived in Denver for a while, traveled a lot with my dad before that. My mom left for another man when I was nine. She hated my dad that much…” You turned your head to look at him as he covered his tattooed torso with sun block. “I won’t do that to my kids.”

“Born and raised here in LA.” You said in the moment of silence after his declaration. “Mom died during child birth. I was a breech baby and she lost to much blood in an emergency C. I remember her face.” You breathed as you looked down at your lap and connected the drops of water on your thigh before the next wave came in. “I have her eyes. And I remember the light leaving hers as my dad held me in place on her chest.”

“(Y/N)…”

“I don’t wanna keep you from our kid.” You interrupted quickly as you rested your head back against the chair pillow and looked out at the ocean. “I grew up with one parent, and while my dad managed to go above and beyond with me, it was hard on him and me without my mother. I don’t want to do that to my child.”

“So part one of the verbal contract.” He said as he put your sunblock back and settled back in his chair. “No matter what, this child will grow up for the rest of his or her life with both of us in it. Even if we hate each other, and we have to go through a third party like Ashleigh for pick ups and drop offs, we will not keep him or her away from each other.”

“No poisoning him or her.” You said as you grabbed one of the water bottles from your cooler and handed it over to him. “Meaning you don’t trash talk me in front of him and vice versa.”

“Agreed. OK, here’s one my ex and I had issues with. We make decisions together.”

“You and I are going to have to work on that.” You giggled as you finally looked over at him. “Because we’re not very good at that right now.”

“But we will work on it so we can make decisions together.” He repeated as he met your eyes with a small nod. “Agreed?”

“Agreed.” You said with a nod. “I like to travel. I haven’t in a long time because… well… that’s a long story… But I want to start traveling again. And I know you already travel a lot for work. And even though you taking him or her alone is a long way off due to breast feeding and the fact that you kinda live a wild life, I’d like the record to show that should we leave Los Angeles county with our child, we have to let the other person know the intended itinerary.”

“I can absolutely get behind that.” He agreed. “And after he or she is born, I’d like to bring… well both of you to Cleveland so Casie can meet her brother or sister… and so that you can meet Emma, my ex, since y’all have something in common now.” You nodded your head and glanced out at the horizon as you chose your words wisely.

“I’m… um…” You started, before clearing your throat. “Well, technically, I’m engaged.”

“You…” He said harshly, which made you sit forward and hide your face in your hands.

“Look, it’s fucking complicated.” You said as you sat back and looked over at him. “Henry and I were together for years. We got engaged six years ago and he left to join the Army shortly after that. And I haven’t heard from him since. So technically, I am engaged. But my fiancé is gone. And he’s never coming back and I just can’t accept that yet, apparently because... well I just can’t.”

“Jesus.” He breathed as he sat back in his chair. “No wonder you’re such a bitch toward men.”

“No, that’s just you.” You responded as you unscrewed the cap of your water and took a sip.

“And we were making progress, too.”

“What’s next on your list, Kels?” You asked with a laugh as you kicked water in his direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next four weeks went by at an almost glacial pace, but at the same time, before you knew it, you were walking though the halls toward the prison’s office, with a stack of paperwork from the parole board in your hand and a giant smile on your face that you didn’t think would ever go away. You had made this walk so many times before, but this was the only time you were actually hopeful. And hopeful wasn’t even the right word. 

“Damn it.” Michael Bishop, who ran the prisons office, grumbled as you walked through the door. “What?”

“Parole board kicked him.” You said with a smile as you rested your arms on the counter and held out the paperwork toward him. “Let him out.”

“Let who out?” A woman you didn’t recognize asked as Mike got up and came over to start the paperwork.

“Negan.” He sighed as he pulled his glasses from his pocket. “They finally let him out, huh?”

“And I didn’t even have to file another petition to get it done.” You teased with a smile.

“OK, well I’ll get these papers started as soon…” The woman started as she stood up from her chair but Mike quickly held them out of her reach before you could even form a reply.

“I got it.” He said as he shot you a nervous smile because he knew the temper you had inherited from your father when it came to his time behind bars. “Putting them through right now.”

“I’ll wait.” You said with a nod as you pulled your phone out of your bag. “How’s the wife?”

“Still kicking my ass.” He muttered as he sat down at his computer. “How’s life treatin’ ya since last time?”

“It’s a revolving door.” You sighed as you pulled up your texts to finally give Simon the go ahead to bring Negan’s Harley down to the prison. “That is finally opening the correct way.”

“Should keep spinning.” The woman muttered under her breath, which made both you and Mike freeze. 

“I’m sorry. Do you have something you wanna fucking say there, sunshine?”

“No! No she didn’t!” Mike tried as you set your phone face down on the counter.

“No, she has the right to speak.” You said with a smile as you folded your hands together on the counter. Mike looked away and scrambled into overdrive to process Negan’s release for you. “What, you don’t like the fact that my father’s joining the real world again? Don’t think that living the last ten years of my life without the only family I have wasn’t enough? What, you don’t think…”

“No, she didn’t!” Mike said quickly as he jumped up and grabbed Negan’s paperwork off his desk and the printer. “Look, he’s good to go. Get him to his parole officer today, OK?” You nodded your head and took the stack of papers out of his hand with a small smile.

“Thanks, Mike. And you can go fuck yourself, bitch.” The officer shouted ‘excuse me’ as you grabbed your phone and turned on your heel to leave the prison for the last time. The roar of motorcycles greeted you as you stepped out the door, and you stopped beside Simon to wait for your father.

“Congrats on the baby, kiddo.” He said as he made sure your father’s bike was stable so that you could lean against it. “When are you due?”

“September 13th.” You sighed as you sat down on the seat and grabbed your sneakers from your bag. “A Friday of all things.”

“Wouldn’t be your kid if it wasn’t.” He huffed.

“More to the story of my life.” You sighed as you dropped your heels in your bag and slung the strap over your shoulder.

“Heard baby daddy is a rock star…”

“Shut up, Simon.” You sighed as you crossed your arms over your chest to wait. It was thankfully only about a half hour wait before the prison door opened and your father walked free. Despite the cheers from the rest of the club, he walked straight over to you.

“Hi Daddy.” You whispered as he lifted you up off the ground in a hug.

“Hi princess. Thank you.” You smile at him as he set you down and nodded his head. “Thank you for getting me outta there.”

“Of course, Daddy.”

“So where we doing lunch?” He asked as he took his kutte from Simon and put it on.

“Boss, we…” The VP tried, but your father shot him the look to end all looks.

“I’m talking… to my daughter.” The VP nodded and took a step back as Negan looked back at you with a smile. “Lunch, sweetheart? Gotta feed the grand baby…”

“Umm… honestly? Right now, I really want a milkshake…”

“Johnny Rockets?” He asked with a smirk. You nodded your head as he held out his hand and snapped his fingers for a helmet. Your smile grew as you tilted your head up and let him close the buckle so he could take care of you like he wished he could have for the past ten years, even if you didn’t need him to. “Let’s go, boys!” You honestly hadn’t realized how much you missed the wind in your hair, but you felt free and more safe than you had in a long while. The thought crossed your mind that it was the first time in six years that you felt completely safe again, but also that Colson had somehow made you start to feel safe with his daily visits to check on you and your child. You were so lost in that idea, that you missed your father parking next to a purple Lamborghini until it was to late.

“Look familiar, princess?”

“Daddy, let’s go.” You said with a shake of your head as your eyes darted toward the restaurant to find the father of your child. “I don’t feel good, let’s go, please…”

“Nope.” He said as he took off your helmet and dropped it on the seat beside his. “I’m fucking starving and a burger is just what I fucking want.”

“Daddy, please. Don’t do this… Damn it…” You quickly tried to get in front of your father and the rest of the club without your small bump being bumped, but you were unsuccessful.

“Colson fucking Baker!” Your father announced, as if he had just won a prize. “Where the fuck are you?”

“Dad, stop it!” You hissed as you were finally able to push in front of him in the thankfully empty restaurant. You looked at Colson’s slightly stunned, slightly shocked, and mostly confused face, and shook your head to hopefully tell him to run… which he didn’t.

“So you’re the prick that knocked up my daughter?” Negan huffed as he sized up your six foot four baby daddy when he stood up from the booth in the corner, where he had apparently just sat down for an early lunch with some woman you didn’t know. You saw her face flush red with embarrassment and rage, and the two of you locked eyes for a moment before you both looked away from different reasons. “Sit down.”

“No, Colson, go back to your lunch.” You tried as you pushed your father toward an open booth on your left. “Daddy, stop, please.”

“Sit the fuck down!” Negan roared when Kels took a step back toward his date. Colson quickly took a seat and you jumped in front of your dad to sit down next to him. You whispered an apology to him as his date got up and walked out angrily, but he simply shook his head and pat your thigh reassuringly.

“Sir, it’s very nice…”

“What kinda fuckin’ shake does my grand child want?” Negan interrupted as he grabbed two menus and handed you one as the rest of the club filed into the booths around you. You sighed loudly and pushed his menu flat on the table with a shake of your head.

“I’m not playing this game. You did it to Henry, you won’t do it to him.” Your father looked up at you with his eyebrow raised and you quickly reach out and squeezed Colson’s wrist before he could interject in the silence. “He’s a human being, and you just cost him his lunch date. So you are going to ask him your questions, and let him go so he can fix the mess you made.” Negan stared at you silently as all the other Saviors went out of their way to avoid looking in even the general vicinity of your booth, waiting to see who was going to win this show down. After a full minute, Negan grabbed a third menu and handed it to Colson without taking his eyes off you.

“What kinda shake does my grand baby want?” Negan asked again as he finally looked away to find your waitress. You visibly relaxed and looked over at your friend with an apologetic look.

“She was boring as fuck anyways.” He muttered under his breath as he bumped your shoulder and looked at the menu. “I think their chocolate is the best…”

“I want them all.” You sighed as your stomach growled loudly. “Baby wants them all.”

“Then baby can have them all.” Negan said as he casually crossed his legs and settled back into the booth a bit more. “And baby better have a great fucking life, with a present father, right?”

“It will.” Colson said with a nod. “And he or she will have a sister, too. One that I’ve managed to keep alive for ten years.”

“Her mother has primary custody?”

“She does.” He confirmed as your dad perused the menu he knew like the back of his hand as if it was the most interesting thing in the whole world.

“So will my daughter.” Negan stated, simply.

“Dad, I swear to God.” You growled as you covered your face with your hands.

“It’s fine.” Colson said as he rubbed your back. “She’d probably do better with primary custody over me any day of the week. I’m on the road to much.”

“And that’s the kinda life you wanna give your child?” Negan asked as he finally looked over at you.

“Because I didn’t have an amazing life with you going out of town all the time?” You asked, honestly. “Because my childhood was so horrible being raised club house to club house, country to country?” He sat silently as you set your menu down and covered your bump with your hand. “Daddy, I had an amazing life. And my child will have an amazing life as well. He or she will travel same as we did. How is this situation any different than ours, other than the missing kutte?”

“Well I still don’t have to fucking like it.” He said stubbornly as he looked back down at the menu. “And I don’t fucking like him. Where is the Goddamn waitress around here?!”

Part 4

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

It takes a pack to raise a pup

“This is bad... What am I going to do?!” The gofer nervously paced around the infirmary, clutching the bitten arm in his hand before turning to face the Janitor “Please tell me that this is just a bad joke!” He pleaded “Please tell me that this is just a mistake...”

“Sorry ta break it to ya Bud.” The janitor lowered his cap down in sympathy. “But I ain’t jokin’ and I ain’t wrong about this: dat ova here is definitely a werewolf bite. I should know, I saw what my table an’ chair legs looked like after my first few full moons.”

As this was a very serious situation, he forced himself to hold back his laughter at the intrusive memory of his wife telling him that her solution to keeping him from turning the furnature into his chew toys was to swat his snout with a rolled up newspaper every time he ignored his bones and squeaky toys in favor of the table legs. This resulted in him letting out a noise that sounded like a cough.

“B-but what about my Ma and Grandpa?! They don’t even know that monster stuff goes down in the studio! How am I supposed to explain to them that every month, I’m going to turn into a blood-thirsty monster!?”

“If ya don’t wanna tell ‘em, they don’t have ta know.” Wally shrugged. “A lotta wolves don’t tell even their closest family members.”

“What if my Ma questions why all my clothes are getting ripped up?! What if Grandpa finds out when he sees me turn for the first- Oh no... WHAT IF I BITE THEM?! WHAT IF I EAT THEM AFTER I TURN?! WALLY, WHAT IF I END UP KILLING THEM?!”

Buddy felt sick to his stomach as he slumped down to the floor, Wally sat down next to him and patted his back.

“Hey Buddy, you’re gonna be fine. Trust me! There’s a ton of werewolves here at dis studio, none of us would mind showin’ ya the ropes or givin’ ya some good advice for dealin’ with this. Who knows, it might even be a little fun ta get a new pup in the pack.”

“Uuuugggggghhhhhhhhh...”

The Janitor’s words and smile didn’t reassure the nervous gofer, if anything, hearing that he and Wally weren’t the only wolves in the studio made Buddy wonder if the monster that bit him last week was one of his own coworkers. As he thought about it, The wiry music director who was in a constant state of irritation seemed like he was a good candidate to be the wolf who bit him...

He would be lying if he said he couldn’t imagine the man sinking those sharp teeth of his into a human being’s flesh.

“Buddy, c’mon, look at me. It’s gonna be okay, I’m not gonna lie to you, changing is always scary the first few times but you don’t have to do it alone. I can rally up the pack if ya need all of us or I can just keep this between you and me, but no matta what happens, I’ve got your back.”

“Thanks Wally...” He sighed as he still dreaded what was to come. “How soon can you get them?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ta-daaaaa! Welcome to werewolves not-so-anonymous!”

Wally unfurled the crudely-made banner as Buddy walked into the break room, Susie clapped, Henry smiled and gave a friendly wave, and Lacie looked bored and unamused but gave a thumbs up and a half smile.

The gofer let out a sigh of relief that he didn’t know he was holding in. Wally alone could’ve been an outlier among werewolves but not all of them. He knew most of these people; the voice actress was hands down one of the most infectiously cheerful people he’d ever met, The Head Artist was a patient and kind man who the gofer looked up to as both an artist and a father figure, and while he didn’t know the mechanic very well aside from the facts that she wasn’t the most friendly or social of people, she didn’t seem half bad.

These people weren’t monsters, he wasn’t a monster.

“Alright, I know a some of us here already know each other but others don’t so lets start ourselves off with some introductions. Who’s going first?”

“Okay. Hi, I’m Buddy, I’m the studio’s gofer and I got bitten pretty recently so I’m kinda scared about all of this...”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the day of the full moon, Henry rented a van with the intent to take the werewolf pack to a cabin in the woods so that Buddy’s first transformation would be in a secluded area.

“So how’d your folks take it?” Lacie inquired to break the silence. “They didn’t look happy when we picked you up.”

“They took it better than I expected, I guess?” The gofer sighed “I mean, my ma seemed pretty scared, but she seemed more scared for me than scared of me.”

“Yeah, that tends to happen...” Henry nodded.

“Guys, I have a question”

“Go for it.”

“If Sammy’s not a werewolf, then why is he coming with us? Wont he get turned?”

The music director rolled his eyes and took a very long sip from his coffee, he also wasn’t looking forward to tonight but for a very different reason.

“Nah... Don’t worry.” Lacie laid back and stuck her boots up on the dashboard. “Hell’s Songbird is cursed with something else so he’s immune to lycanthropy.”

Nobody noticed that the man had flinched at Lacie’s statement.

“...Is he basically an unofficial member of the pack?”

Wally and Susie’s eyes lit up at the question and they smiled at each other before answering.

“Yes.”

“Definitely.”

“Absolutely.”

Wally broke down laughing as Susie broke out her stage voice, even Buddy let out a soft chuckle at her dramatic movements.

“The grumpy banjo man is indeed the pack’s loyal brother, not by blood or spirit, but by true love-”

Said grumpy banjo man turned to face the back seat, the regular irritation in his voice gave way to a sarcastic, deadpan tone.

“If you people genuinely think I ‘love’ getting chewed, slobbered on, roughhoused with, pounced on, and ripped apart by a pack of near-mindless wild animals almost every single month, then you’ve probably been huffing too many ink fumes.”

“Yeah, yeah, so bein’ the ‘designated driver’ of da group isn’t always fun... But ya do it ‘cause you looooooooooove us!”

Henry sighed in a mix of annoyance and acceptance in a way that implied he knew exactly what was going to happen next.

“I’m a married man.” Sammy continued to deadpan. “I thought you knew that by now.”

This response only egged Wally on.

“Psssst! He’s not denyin’ it!” The janitor stage-whispered “So it must be true!”

“Shut UP Franks.”

Sammy huffed and crossed his arms, but not denying Wally’s statement, which led to a loop of Wally’s teasing and Sammy’s fruitless attempts to shut the conversation down, which was only ended by reaching their destination.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buddy felt goosebumps as the van pulled up to the cabin and the sun slowly started to dip down.

“Here we are.”

“Finally! I swear, every single car ride I have with that. walking. headache. becomes the longest one I’ve ever endured.”

“Hey!”

The cabin itself probably looked like a much more warm and inviting place during midday, but as the shadows of the trees started to cast down on the humble little abode, it looked almost sinister. Although, that could’ve just been Buddy’s imagination working against him.

He hoped it was just his imagination working against him.

“Fuck, it’s gettin’ dark real fast.” The mechanic remarked as she looked at the sky. “Should we slap the meat on the grill now or just wait after we change and eat it raw?”

“We should wait.” The animator replied. “At this rate, if we try to cook it we’ll change before it’s halfway done.”

Buddy helped carry things into the cabin; a cooler, a couple of blankets, a duffle bag filled with dog toys and bones, they all seemed like reasonable items, but he couldn’t deny he felt something was missing.

“Hey Sammy, you’re looking out for us after we change, right?”

“Unfortunately.”

“So where are the ropes and chains? And isn’t there supposed to be bear traps and tranquilizers or something like them?”

The musician raised an eyebrow at the gofer.

“...Why would we need those?”

“...To tie us up and keep us from killing people?”

Sammy’s Jaw dropped at Buddy’s suggestion.

“Holy fucking shit... kid, you’re not turning into a monster, you’re just becoming a glorified puppy.”

“But you said it yourself, you get ripped up!”

“So?” Sammy scoffed. “That’s just what all dogs do.”

“He’s more of a cat person than a dog person.” Susie called out from the kitchen “Take everything he says about werewolves with a grain of salt.”

“Easy for you to say!” Sammy called back. “You’re not the one who had to cover over ninety-seven miles in different directions to round up a bunch of whimpering wolves because SOMEONE decided to set off a bunch of firecrackers just as the moon rose!”

“Hey!” Wally called out. “I said I was sorry!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was time.

Like it or not, he was going to become a beast.

He knew the others’ own transformations were happening right now, he heard their bones snapping and cracking, the changing shadows cast on the floor as he dashed to his own room praying that he’d make it in time.

In the madness, he saw a glimpse of what Sammy’s curse was. He wished he didn’t see that, it would’ve so much easier to trust Sammy’s protection if he didn’t know that burden of the musician’s curse was like a werewolf’s curse except the ‘wolf’ part was scratched off and replaced with something else. The chill that ran down his spine when his eyes met the monster’s also didn’t help.

Buddy locked himself in his room, quickly taking off his clothes so they wouldn’t get ripped during the change and wrapping himself up in the provided blankets to keep himself from seeing his own transformation.

His heart pounded against his chest as he heard someone whimpering and scratching at the door on the other side.

“Focus, Buddy...” He tried to reassure himself. “Deep breaths, don’t get scared...”

He highly doubted he’d be lucid for his first full moon, but the idea of losing his mind and becoming a ravenous monster just didn’t sit well with him, So he tried his best to stay ‘awake’.

No matter how hard it was.

The curse started off his own changes with either his skin, his senses, or his mouth. He didn’t know for sure as it felt like all three were happening at once as he spat out a bloody mouthful of his own teeth into his hands and watched fur sprout up all over his arms, the taste and smell of blood in his mouth and on his now paw-like hands, as well as the smells and sounds of everything else in the cabin was overwhelmingly nauseating. 

“D-don’t freak out... the others have been through this lots of times... this is completely normal... Stay calm Buddy...”

He tossed aside the teeth and threw himself deeper into the blanket pile in spite of his body’s increasing temperature and new fur coat. The gofer couldn’t tell if the whimpering he heard was coming from the other wolves scratching at the door or from him.

The next thing the curse went after was everything else; muscles, bones, etc.

It was painful, but at the very least it was fast, he didn’t even have the time to whine for mercy before the malevolent force of the werewolf curse stopped. Buddy let out a sigh of relief as he dug himself out of his blanket cocoon.

He looked at the mirror and saw a frightened looking young wolf, his eyes still looked human and his fur seemed to match the color of his hair. While he didn’t like looking at this and calling it his reflection, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit proud of himself. In spite of fear trying to drive him to the same level as a wild animal, he was still him.

Or so he thought as he was startled by the sound of his door unlocking itself and creaking open.

He let out a yipe and started to bare his teeth and growl at the weird beaked creature that poked its head into his territory. The said creature was not impressed in the slightest and simply came into the room.

Buddy growled louder and snapped his jaws at the creature, his ears laid back and his hackles bristling straight up. While the creature did move away from his bite, it was still not impressed. Out of desperation, he lunged at the black-feathered beast, desperately trying to scare it out but the monster looked like it had dealt with this before as it glided out of the way of his attack and picked him up by the scruff of his neck.

The young wolf flailed, bit, clawed, and snapped at the creature. But he could swear that the beast’s only response to Buddy’s last-ditch efforts to keep himself alive were to roll its eyes and toss the wolf out of the room.

And into the line of sight of two other wolves. Both adults, one of them had pitch black fur, the other one had dark gray fur, but both of them had curious almost human-like eyes.

Thankfully, they smelled familiar to him. Even as a human, he could always recognize the smells of cleaning supplies, bacon soup, and ink. As he got a little bit more used to his new senses, while most of the smells and sounds were still new, and there was too much of it, he could at least identify what they were.

The black wolf came closer to him and sniffed his face before licking it. The other wolf pawed the first wolf’s face away from his own. Assuming that this was just some kind of greeting, Buddy sniffed the first wolf’s face and licked him back, the second wolf let out a noise that sounded like an amused snort.

THUNK

A loud noise from the kitchen that came with a new smell made him realize how hungry he was. Assumingly all thinking the same thing, the three wolves dashed into the kitchen to see the toppled-over cooler being raided by two other wolves. The bird like creature was biting and flapping its wings at them, clearly trying to keep them away from the coveted red meats the cooler held.

“STOP. EATING. PLASTIC!” The creature cried out to deaf ears of the pack. “YOU’RE GOING TO GET YOURSELVES SICK! JUST WAIT FOR ME TO UNWRAP THEM FIRST!”

This tyranny would not stand with the wolves, united as a pack, the five starved beasts joined forces against the giant bird-monster that stayed between them and their food.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buddy woke up groaning with a headache, sore muscles, and an upset stomach the next morning.

Last night was a blur to the gofer, like a dream, the most of what happened during the full moon quickly faded from his mind as he woke up. If it wasn’t for the fact he could still see the bird-monster form of the music director looming over him in the cabin’s rafters, he would’ve chalked the whole thing up to just be a bad dream.

“Sammy?” He groaned. “What happened last night?”

“As soon as I opened the door, all of you ran to the fields instead of the woods.” The music director sounded like he was too tired to be irritated. “I tried to steer you back towards the woods because there was a barn over there, but as usual, none of you listened to me.” Okay, maybe he was still a little bit irritated.

“Oh no... Did I eat anything there?”

“No, but you did get your head stuck underneath a fence and whined until I let you out.”

Buddy blushed in embarrassment as he wrapped his blanket tighter around him.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, everybody does stupid things the first time they change.”

“So how come you didn’t change back?”

“My curse isn’t determined by the moon, it’s determined by... other things. I don’t like talking about it.”

Sammy wrapped himself up in his wings, ending the conversation.

“G’morning.” Wally set down a fizzing glass of water by Buddy, the Janitor looked more exhausted now than he did after a 12-hour deep clean of the studio. “Ya might wanna drink that, it’ll help with the headache.”

“Thanks Wally.”

He smiled as he sipped down the liquid, while the gofer knew that the changes weren’t going to be easy for him to adjust to, at least he had other people who were willing to help him through it.

[silvcrlining]

elaine, self-para: after new year’s

The pounding in Elaine’s head awakens with her the morning after the masquerade ball, persists through her attempt to water it down, and follows her on the bus ride to Zuzu City.

She fidgets with one of the bows poking out of the bag in her lap, and watches as the view outside her window slowly and then all at once shifts from tree lines and mountainsides to concrete buildings that stretch out towards the sky. At some point, she begins confusing the pounding in her head with the one against her chest. Every time she visits, she feels like she should’ve done it sooner, or for longer, or more often. It never feels like enough, and something about that makes her palms sweat. She grips her bag tighter as the bus rolls to a stop.

The walk to her old house is oddly quaint; the streets are mostly barren, the strings of lights strung across buildings and the trash cans overflowing with confetti and red solo cups the only evidence that it had been filled to the brim with celebration the night prior. When she reaches the front door, she barely gets two knocks in before it flies open and she’s being pulled down to her mother’s height, engulfed in her embrace.

“Hi, Mama.” mumbles Elaine, feeling her headache subside for a moment. Amelia Carter hugs like she’s savoring every bit of warmth a person has to offer; Elaine hugs like she’s afraid they’ll disappear under her touch if she’s not careful. Her mother fuzzes over her, hands reaching up to her face and resting on her cheeks, “Oh, my baby-- how are you? Is the shop doing good? Are you doing good?” Her thumbs sweep under Elaine’s eyes knowingly, “Are you sleeping well?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Her answer is automatic, as she’s too preoccupied with leaning into her mother’s touch. She spends so much time by herself back in the valley; she forgets how nice it feels to be held.

“Ma, give her a second. She just got here.” Elias says behind them with a chuckle. Amelia steps to the side so Elias can greet his sister. He reaches up to brush away snowflakes that had yet to melt from her hair, giving her a silent smile. He just barely towers over her, and she watches his eyes briefly shine with concern, like they always do. “You good, Ellie?”

“I’m good.” Elaine returns the smile, though she wears it a bit tightly on her face. She ignores the look that he gives her, like he doesn’t entirely believe her. With a clear of her throat, she raises her bag. Even with her family, she doesn’t like having the attention on her. “I brought gifts.”

The family dinner is small, but Elaine doesn’t mind. After yesterday, she feels like she’s wasted her social battery for the entire week. She’s just happy to be with her family. Amelia pours champagne to celebrate the new year, insisting they toast using the mugs Elaine made for the two of them. Her heart feels warm; warmer than it has in months, warmer than she’s let it be in a long time. A part of her brain tugs at her, reminds her that the warmth is temporary, that it will leave the moment she returns to the valley and hides in her little home in the mountains. She forces herself to ignore it for today.

_____

Hours later, Elaine curls up beside Elias on the living room couch, blankets draped over their shoulders as they warm up by the fireplace. For a moment, she feels like they’re kids again, and the feeling is almost comforting. Aunt Nora stopped by-- Elaine learns she visits Amelia every weekend-- and her and Amelia’s laughter filters in from the kitchen.

“How’s everything in the Valley?” Elias asks, taking a sip from his beer.

“Good.” she answers, and adds when she feels her brother’s gaze on her, awaiting more, “The, uh, the shop is doing good. The house is fine. There was a, um-- there was this masquerade ball the town hosted yesterday. It was…” Chaotic. “... interesting. It was... nice, though.”

Elias hums, nods. “What about the people, your friends-- Malia still there?”

“Yeah. She’s doing good… or, well, as good as she can be.” she shrugs, “Winter can be tough for some people. I stop by her house every now and then.”

“Okay.” He nods again. Elias always asks a lot of questions. Sometimes too many. She can’t blame him, even though she wants to. He’s always been the open book of the family, while she locks herself away behind countless doors. “What about, uh-- Henry was his name, right? You two seemed to be getting along.”

Elaine bristles at that, coughs out a forced laugh and tries to veer past the subject. “God, Elias, I’m thirty-three. I feel like you’re asking me how my day at school was.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He chuckles, taking another swig of his beer and setting it down on the floor. He leans back on the couch and glances at her. “I just worry about you, you know.”

“You don’t have to. I’m--”

“-- fine. I know. You’re always fine.” There’s something cold behind his words. Not necessarily biting, but like he’s talking around what he actually wants to say.

Elaine runs a hand through her hair and sighs. The tension that hangs in the air isn’t new, but it never gets less uncomfortable. It’s been like this for a while, especially with Elias. They love each other, that much is obvious, but there are always things left unsaid, invisible lines that they need to tread carefully around-- or that he feels like he needs to tread carefully around.

She just wants to change the subject.

“What about you? How are you and Diana doing?” Diana is Elias’ wife. They dated for five years before he mustered up the courage to propose; they’ve been married for three.

“Oh, we’re good. We actually just finished redecorating the house; she wants you to stop by and see it one of these days. You know, give your stamp of approval.”

Elaine smiles faintly, “I will.”

Elias opens his mouth like he’s going to say something else, then clamps it shut. Elaine notices, and her brows furrow, “What?”

“I, uh… I’ve been meaning to tell you…” He pauses, clears his throat. He glances at her, his words cautious. “Diana’s pregnant.”

“... Oh. Oh.” Elaine looks at him, then at the fireplace, then back at him. She stays like that for a few seconds, feeling something heavy settle in her chest-- it feels briefly like jealousy--  before realizing she should probably act a little happier. She presses a smile onto her lips. “I, uh-- that’s-- Elias, congratulations.” She wraps him up in a hug, and he returns it gently. “How far along?”

“... Three months.”

She pulls back then, the smile still stretched along her mouth. “... Oh.” Her smile lessens. “Why didn’t you… Does Mom know?”

He still regards her carefully, “Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“... October.”

“Oh.” She pulls back further now, hands settling in her lap. “... Why am I finding out about this now, then?” 

“Mom thought I shouldn’t tell you yet.”

She stiffens, “Why?”

“You know that’s a stupid question.”

A small bit of frustration flares within her, and she huffs out a small chuckle. “I’m not some… some fragile thing, Elias. I can handle your wife being pregnant.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, but…” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “... you still have wounds, Ellie. And that’s okay, and it’s understandable, but we just didn’t want to make them worse.”

“I’m not-- I’m fine.” She’s lost track of how many times she’s said that today. She moves away from him, focusing her narrowed gaze on the fireplace. “I know how to take care of myself. I don’t need you or Mom tip-toeing around my feelings or my-- my ‘wounds’.”

“You’re not fine.” Elias responds gently, running a hand down his face. “You and Mom always say the same thing, but both of you still have that same look in your eyes since Dad died.”

She clenches her jaw. They’ve barely ever talked about their father since it happened. Hell, they’ve barely ever talked about death or grief even though they all still feel it deep within them, some more than others. “What are you talking about?”

“You look at people like you’re scared they’re going to disappear the moment you look away.”

Her eyes flicker towards him, her knee bouncing repeatedly, hands wringing in her lap. He gives a faint, sad smile. “See? There it is.”

“Oh, fuck off.” The blanket around her shoulders falls gracelessly on the couch as she gets up. “I don’t get what this has to do with anything.”

“Because it’s impossible to have any kind of relationship with you when you’re so afraid of losing people all the time.” 

There’s a silence that follows his word, where she’s facing away from him, and her mind is racing, and tears are pricking at the back of her eyes. She wants to change the subject.

“I’m not afraid.” She tries in vain, and she hates how she sounds. Like a little kid swearing they’re not scared of the monster under their bed.

“Mom told me you spend most of your time in your house. That you never really mention seeing or talking or being around other people. Not even a pet or anything. It sounded like she was talking about Grandpa.”

That hits her. It’s like salt on an open wound, and she presses her lips together to not cry out from the pain. Her grandfather was a lonely man by choice. She knew that more than anyone. He pushed people away until they stopped seeing the point in trying. Her mother didn’t push people away, but she isolated herself most of the time, forgetting about the world until it came knocking on her door. Elias is probably the most well-off, but even he has his bouts of sadness, when Diana can barely get a word or two out of him. Elaine just thinks loneliness runs in the family like a disease. She doesn’t try to fight it that much anymore.

When she doesn’t say anything in response, Elias presses harder, pushes another button, “Have you cleaned out the baby room yet?”

There’s a room in Elaine’s house, half of the walls painted yellow, a crib she had begun building but never finished probably picking up dust and mold in the corner. She had gotten overly excited, begun working on it even though she was only four months along. She keeps that door locked now.

With an inhale through closed teeth, Elaine turns to Elias, her eyes still shining with un-shed tears. “I have to go.”

He realizes he’s stepped too far. “Elaine--”

“It’s getting late, and I wanna catch the last bus before it leaves.” She smiles tightly. “I missed you. It was nice seeing you.” 

“Elaine, I--”

“Tell Diana I said congratulations, by the way.” She adds, looking down for a moment as she blinks back the shine in her eyes. “I’m really happy for you guys. I hope she has a good pregnancy. I’ll try to visit your house soon, okay?”

“... Okay.”

She walks closer, pulls him into a hug that’s more like their mother’s: too tight, desperate. “I love you.”

He hugs back just as tightly, “I love you too. Take care of yourself.” 

She walks into the kitchen, says goodbye to her mother and aunt Nora, hugs them too tight. She has to actively focus on her breathing on the way to the bus stop, and most of the trip back to the Valley becomes a blur.

_____

Three days later, Elaine goes to Gabe’s shop and buys a small bouquet of forget-me-nots. Three days after that, it’s January 7th, the anniversary of her grandfather’s passing. She gets up early to make the trek down to the graveyard. The sun is just beginning to peak over the horizon by the time she gets there. She stands in front of his gravestone long enough that the snow around her feet begins to melt faintly. With a clear of her throat, she places the flowers on the ground, bringing her hands up to her mouth to warm them up. 

She always feels like she should say something, but she never does. She’s never been good with words. That was never a problem with him, though. They were both quiet, so they learned to communicate with each other through the silence. She stands there for a few more minutes, breath shuddering and forming in small clouds in front of her. The sound of bells chiming--the general store door opening-- breaks her out of her empty thoughts. Tucking her hands into the pockets of her coat, she nods at his gravestone and walks back up the hill to her house, tracing the path she had left earlier in the snow.

Ella Fitzgerald’s smooth voice echoes through the halls and rooms of her home, the music sounding through the record player in the workshop. Elaine sits on one of the stools, cheeks damp as she sips her morning coffee and hums along.

“Stars shining bright above you; night breezes seem to whisper ‘I love you.’” Her grandfather would dance around the workshop with her sometimes, singing the words under his breath and denying ever doing so if she complimented his voice. “Birds singing in the sycamore tree-- dream a little dream of me.”

Then, a sudden smack against one of the workshop windows almost makes her drop her mug. Elaine stills, eyes widened, heart thumping in her chest. Trumpets tut in the background all the while, Ella singing, unbothered. Elaine stumbles to the record player and removes the needle, letting silence wash over the cool morning.

She waits a second, then two, then three. Seven seconds later, she finally hears it.

A weak chirping. 

She hurriedly slips on her boots and puts her coat back on, taking a wooden board that had been tossed into a corner (just in case-- she’s not paranoid!), and rushes outside. She finds it nestled in the snow just beneath the window: a small blue-feathered parakeet with the feathers on its left wing partially ruffled. It visibly shivers from the cold. 

The weight in Elaine’s heart is momentarily forgotten. She kneels down, settling the wooden board on the snow, and slowly moves her hands closer to the bird, careful not to spook it.

“Oh, my baby, what happened?” She coos softly. The bird initially cowers away from her, though once it feels the heat from her hand, it eventually nudges its head against her fingers. “Did you get lost?”

She manages to pick it up, cradling it in her hands and taking slow steps towards the entrance. The bird looks like it could be injured, though its wing doesn’t look broken. It chirps weakly at her, and her chest warms at the sound. “It’s okay, it’s okay-- I’ll take care of you.”

She doesn’t do Ella’s voice justice, but she continues humming the song gently as she nudges the door closed behind her, attempting to make the bird feel safe.

“When I’m alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me...”

[fluffyvillain]

The Bond

Chapter: 1/?

Summary: "You will feel overwhelmed when you meet your soulmate," that's what everyone said. "Indescribable warmth will wash over you, you will feel his and he will feel your euphoria. From that moment on, you will share emotions with each other, you won't even need to speak," that's how it's supposed to be.

Well, that turned out to be only partially true in Mila's case - she watched Henry walk in with a beautiful girl on his arm, not even acknowledging her existence and all of her senses heightened, she became filled with joy, every fiber in her being started vibrating, but all she felt coming from the other side was a feeling of peace and contentment.

Pairing: Henry Cavill/OFC

Warnings: Well, some smut right away

A/N: I decided to give it a shot, why not? It’s also posted on AO3.

20 YEARS EARLIER

 7 year old Mila set on a hardwood floor in front of a glass wall in the middle of the night, watching lightnings pierce through the night sky one after the other.

"What are we going to do, James?" Mila's aunt looked at her husband pleadingly.

"Nothing, Rose, you know the therapist said that this is her way of coping."

"But, it's been two years since..." Rose always tried avoiding mentioning the accident in which her sister and brother in law lost their lives, leaving Mila in their care. It was too painful, it was so painful that their mother's heart couldn't handle it and her death followed shortly after.

"Yes, but she's been blocking us out less frequently and I'd rather she blocked us than her having night terrors."

Rose walked over to Mila, kissing her forehead, moving loose strands of hair behind her ears. "Let's go to bed, love." No answer, not even a flinch. "It's cold, you are going to get sick."

James had watched his wife for a while as she tried to get Mila to react before he went to take a blanked and a pillow. He put the pillow next to Mila and the blanket around her back. "You can sleep here tonight if you want to, honey."

He helped his wife get up and he kissed away her tears, feeling her sadness deep inside him, wishing he could do something to take it away. "Maybe we should move back to our place, I think it will be good for the both of you. You won't be surrounded with so many memories."

"We have nothing to lose." She embraced her husband. "Do you know how much I love you, James?"

"I can feel it, the Moon of my life."

10 YEARS EARLIER

 "Is there anything new, my child?" Warm smile with teeth barely showing was the most prominent feature of Mila's grandfather's face.

Mila knew what her grandpa was referring to and she knew he was teasing her, but to her it was a very serious subject. "No, gramps. How long do I have to wait? Some of the kids in school already found their soulmates."

"You can't force it and you shouldn't put your life on hold while waiting. You should meet people, travel, enjoy life."

"Which reminds me, can I live alone?" Mila's eyes twinkled with hope.

"Not before you start University next year, then all decisions, but all responsibilities will be on you." He took her hand across the table. "Do you have any problems with your aunt and uncle?"

"I don't, but, even though I know that they don't see me as such, I feel like I'm a burden to them, especially now when kids started school."

"They'd be offended if they knew you told me that."

"And that's why you won't tell them anything. Can you take me on a tour around the hotel again?" Mila loved coming here, she wanted to know every single detail about every hotel her grandfather owned. She  came to the one where the headquarter was most often, so she really enjoyed this opportunity, visiting this downtown New York one. Her grandfather made an empire from scratch with many sacrifices, patience, devotion and a lot of risk.

"I have 30 minutes before my next meeting, so let's go." Robert chose to show his granddaughter everything that has changed since her last visit and he ended the tour on the rooftop, Mila's favorite place. "You know, one day, all of this will be yours. You will continue my legacy."

"I'm sure aunt Rose and the twins will continue it too."

"Your aunt is not interested in this the slightest and if the twins take after their parents, they will be even less interested. Of course, they will have a steady income from here, but nothing more. You are the one who cares, you have my drive for success in this business and, most importantly, you love it. You will run it, but you have to start from zero, as if you weren't my granddaughter."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, gramps."

6 MONTHS EARLIER

 The twins barely even spoke to Mila after dinner, both of them were watching a basketball game, while their mother sipped wine with Mila. "I can't believe it's been a year since you went to Hawaii."

"Me neither, I absolutely loved it there and I loved working at front desk." Mila relaxed in a chair, swirling the wine.

"So, there's only one department left before you take the place as a CEO."

"I tried to talk my way out of it, but it was in vain. I'm completely hopeless when it comes to F&B sector, I mean serving especially. I can barely remember an order. Plus, this will be mostly banquets involved, I'm going to suffer for the next 6 months. Seriously, waiters are tough people." Her caps and ankles started hurting at just the thought of her previous job as a waitress.

"It will be over in no time and I'm sure you will be an even better manager than my father. Will you be working at the downtown hotel the whole 6 months?"

"Yes, I want to slowly get accustomed to everything. I mean, it's not like they are just going to leave me as a CEO to manage all by myself, but still... And, this way I will get to see if there's a need for change anywhere."

PRESENT TIME

 Henry left the bathroom with only a towel on and Elaine looked at the mirror reflecting him as if she saw him for the first time. She loved his body, his heart and his soul. "I wonder how much somebody is ready to pay just to have dinner with you, darling." She got up, walking to her partner, only dressed in a black bra and thong.

"We'll find out tonight. Since it's for charity, I hope a lot." He slammed his body against hers, grabbing her ass with both hands.

"Not now, we don't have time for this." He moved one of his hands to between her legs, rubbing her gently.

"Are you sure?" He moved her panties, slipping one finger inside her, while he continued to rub her with his thumb.

Instead of answering, she removed his towel, letting it drop to the floor. She grabbed his already semi-hard shaft, pumping in gently, until he was fully erect. Her pants became quicker as Henry's movements became faster. As she was getting close to ecstasy, she selfishly let go of Henry, throwing her head back as he held her firmly. "I love it when you come for me, but let's do it together." He guided her to a wall, loving that she was almost his height, so he didn't have to lift her up. It was enough to hook one of her legs over his hip to enter her slowly, keeping her panties to the side until he was inside her completely. He latched his lips on her throat as his movement soon fell out of rhythm, signaling he was close to reaching his peak and Elaine's nails digging in his shoulder blades showed that she was close too. A few more thrusts and she was screaming Henry's name, a few more and he filled her up. As their breathing was coming to normal speed, he kissed every par of her body he could reach. "Elaine, I love you so much. Fuck soulmates, I could never love someone as much as I love you."

"So, it's your last day, Mila. I can't believe I won't be seeing those blue eyes of yours anymore." Martha and Mila took a little break before guests started arriving.

"Who said that?" Mila tried to tame one lock of her brown hair that kept falling out of her bun while looking in the mirror.

"You said you weren't going to work here from tomorrow. Did you change your mind? Or... Wait, wait, there's a rumor that a new CEO will be appointed next week. Do you know him? Are you just changing the department?"

"I have a feeling that it will be a she and I sort of am." Mila straightened Martha's collar a bit. "Let's go."

[kmomof4]

Operation Secret Santa

And that is not just the title to the fic! Hello @teeandsnowflakes, I was your CS Secret Santa this year! It’s been so much fun chatting with you this month! I hope you’re enjoying your Christmas break and that you like this little fic I’ve written for you! I had planned a series of scenes showcasing CS getting ready for the holidays, but then presents showed up and the fic went in an entirely new direction. I still tried to incorporate some of your favorite Christmas things though and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it for you! I also hope you have a wonderful Christmas! Thank you to @cssecretsanta2k19 for organizing this fun event and to @profdanglaisstuff for beta services! 

And now for your gift Tee! Merry Christmas!!! 

Under the cut unless Tumblr ate it.

ao3 link

Operation Secret Santa “Just a little more to the right, Killian,” Emma instructed, waving her hands in front of her as if her husband, who was currently hidden behind the newly cut Christmas tree, could see her.

Killian spit out the pine needles that he’d gotten a mouthful of as he tilted the tree to the right. He was so surrounded by the spicy scent of pine and scratchy branches that he could barely tell which way was up, much less whether it was straight or not.

“No, no, no Killian, the other right… my right,” she admonished, when the tree hovered precariously near the point of no return in its potential, imminent journey to the floor.

Killian huffed. “Well, how am I supposed to know that darling?” he groused affectionately as he straightened the tree up in the stand. “Ok lad, crawl under there and screw the trunk in place,” he said to Henry who was trying desperately, but unsuccessfully, to smother his laughter at his mother, who looked to him to be trying to take flight, and his step-father who he couldn’t even see properly behind the evergreen.

Henry crawled underneath the tree and proceeded to twist the screws into the trunk. Crawling back out, he was greeted with bright, happy smiles from his parents that he immediately returned. He turned around with a flourish of his arm. “Behold, the first annual Swan-Jones Christmas tree! Now for lights and ornaments!” He dashed off toward the basement to collect the boxes of decorations that had come with them from New York and that he and Emma had collected after the Final Battle in anticipation of their first Christmas as a fully intact family.

“Need some help, lad,” Killian called down when the teenager didn’t immediately reappear.

“Uh, yeah,” Henry called back, a note of, something, in his voice. “There’s more down here than I remember.”

With a cheeky grin at his wife, Killian sauntered over to the basement and disappeared down the stairs.

When Killian also didn’t reappear, Emma started down the stairs. “What’s taking you guys so lo- ohhh!” she exclaimed. For in front of her eyes and filling the basement were boxes upon boxes of not just Christmas decorations, but presents. Lots and lots of presents. Wrapped up in brightly colored paper, topped with sparkly bows and tags with the names Emma, Henry, and Killian.

Emma stared, slack jawed at the sight. There were enough presents here to make up for all the lonely years growing up when she was lucky if she got one present. And as an adult as well, when the only presents she ever got was if she bought them herself. Killian moved forward from the foot of the stairs to the first gift with his name on it. He ripped the paper and deftly opened the box with his hook. Looking inside, his eyes got as big as, well, a child’s at Christmas. His mouth opened and shut several times, before she finally asked, “What is it?”

He swallowed heavily before bringing it over to them. Peering down into the box, they found a soft, black teddy bear. A bear that was missing an eye, but otherwise was completely whole. Tears were gathering in his eyes as he explained, “He was mine… be…” he rubbed his hand over his face before continuing, “before Flint threw him overboard. Said only babies had those. I remember the day he lost the eye. I just couldn’t leave the loose thread alone and it came off in my hand. I cried for hours thinking I’d ruined him.” Emma gathered him in her arms as a barking sob escaped him. “I never thought I’d see him again,” he cried, his words muffled into her shoulder. “Where did this come from?” He raised his head from her shoulder and turned his inquiring eyes back to the piles of boxes.

Emma shook her head slowly. “I have no idea, Killian,” she said in awe, slowly making her way over to a gift with her name on it. After opening her own, she could feel her own tears gathering. She could feel her husband and son come up behind her on either side before she turned to them. “It’s a wooden music box. I remember seeing it in a catalog when I was about 10. It had Disney characters carved into the sides and played “When You Wish Upon a Star.” I remember thinking that surely wishing on a star and having that music box would mean that my parents would find me and take me home.” Now it was her turn to be enveloped in two pairs of strong arms and to feel the tears escape.

“And now you have, Swan,” Killian murmured into her hair before placing a gentle kiss there. “Your turn lad,” he nodded, encouragingly.

Henry untangled himself from their embrace and slowly walked to the pile of presents. Picking up a large gaily decorated box, he opened it. Inside he found The Chronicles of Narnia. The entire series. In hardback. He held up The Magician’s Nephew to his parents, stunned. “This was at the top of my Christmas list when I was eight. My other mom never really listened to what I wanted for Christmas or birthdays before I brought you home, Mom. I think she gave me a remote control car for Christmas that year. Along with an art set and some other books that I couldn’t care less about. How can this be?” he asked, incredulously. “Could Santa be real too?”

“Given the denizens of our fair hamlet, I’d have to admit to a sneaking suspicion that he is,” Killian speculated.

“But who?” Emma interjected. “Who could it be?” She turned her emerald gaze upon Killian first, then Henry.

A smirk broke Henry’s face and his eyes twinkled. “Sounds like Operation Secret Santa to me!”

Killian’s anticipatory grin could have lit up the Christmas tree all by itself. “A fine name for the operation, my boy!” He turned his eyes upon Emma. “Are you in, Swan?” he asked.

“Are you kidding?” she barked, “I’m the OG Operation cohort! Of course, I’m in!”

“All right!” Henry gave an enthusiastic fist pump. “Let’s get the rest of these gifts upstairs and the tree decorated, then Operation Secret Santa can commence!”

“Let’s go,” Emma agreed. Picking up as many boxes as they could hold, they moved back to the main floor of the house.

~*~*~

All of Storybrooke had gathered at Granny’s on Christmas Eve for a blowout Christmas party that rivaled any yuletide ball held in the Enchanted Forest. This was the first time since the original curse broke that they’d been able to celebrate Christmas, what with villians running amok and general magical mayhem. Granny’s was decorated with every tacky Christmas decoration you could possibly think of, from the tree in the corner covered with brightly colored lights, balls, and tinsel, tinseled garlands strung across the windows to the kitchen, balls of holly and mistletoe holding up the garlands and in every doorway, fake snow on the counters and a fairytale village in the front window. With the jukebox playing Celine Dion’s recording of  O Holy Night, Emma looked around at all her friends and family talking, dancing, and eating their way through Granny’s bountiful Christmas buffet. Catching Henry’s eye, she joined him at the jukebox.

“Well?” she asked, “What do you think? Have you gathered any clues on who Santa could be?”

“None,” he answered. “But, everyone has had the same thing that happened to us, happen to them.”

“Really,” Emma exclaimed.

“Yeah,” he began, “Ashley, Shawn, and even Alexandra got a pile of presents. Ariel and Eric, Grandma and Grandpa, Mom, Zelena, and Robin, Archie, Pongo, even the fairies! No one’s been left out.”

“Hmmmm…”

“But, from what I can tell, everyone’s gotten presents based on the years of the curse, or…” he trailed away with a puzzled look on his brow, “their years as a hero. For instance, Mom only had six presents, the years since the curse broke, and Zelena had even less, but Robin had two, since she’s two. You had thirty-four, the years of the curse plus the years since, Killian had thirty-seven, as near as I can figure, his years growing up until Milah died and he became a villain plus the years since you all saved me in Neverland.”

“Interesting,” she mused. “It’s like he was saving them up for when we could all relax and enjoy the holiday.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Henry agreed.

“But that doesn’t get us any closer to who it might be.”

Killian joined them then with a grin that nearly split his face. “I have succeeded!” he exclaimed.

“Succeeded? You know who Santa is?” Emma demanded.

“What?” he asked, startled, “No! I sweet talked Granny into giving me her secret gingerbread cookie recipe.” He slipped his arm around her waist and gave her a cheeky smirk and wink. “Since I know your fondness for that particular seasonal delight.” He leaned in and whispered, “She doesn’t measure the molasses.”

Emma shrugged with a sheepish grin on her face. “Well, okay, I guess I forgive you.”

Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas is You now poured through the speakers as Emma’s attention settled on Marco and Archie sitting in the booth nearest them enjoying Granny’s gingerbread and cocoa. Marco got up suddenly and smiled widely at her. The booth was close enough that she knew he could hear every word they said. The twinkle in his eye made Emma narrow hers at the older gentleman, and when he shot a wink her way, her eyes grew huge as the puzzle pieces clicked into place. Marco raised a finger to his lips before turning away and heading for the door. Emma could hardly contain her excitement as a plan began to take shape in her mind.

“I think it might be time for all the good little children to get to bed if they want Santa to visit,” she said, staring pointedly at Henry. “It’s getting late.”

Henry rolled his eyes at her. “Good grief, Mom. I’m sixteen, not six. I don’t need to be in bed yet.”

Killian pulled Emma closer in to his side and waggled his eyebrows lasciviously at his bride. “Well, I don’t know about ‘good little children,’ but I know a grown up pirate who’d like to go to bed.”

Emma giggled and slapped his chest playfully as Henry rolled his eyes again and groaned. “Ewwww, gross, Dad! Teenager present! Fine, I’ll go home and go to bed. Just keep it down, okay?” he pleaded.

“I make no promises, lad.”

~*~*~

Emma came down the stairs of her home, much later, on tiptoe, seeking to surprise their midnight visitor.

“Ah HA!” she whisper shouted.

Marco spun around with his hand to his chest. “You scared the life out of me, your Highness!”

Emma rolled her eyes. “You know better than to call me that, Marco.” She approached him as he turned back to his work, placing presents under the tree. “You’re Santa Claus?” She couldn’t keep the awe out of her voice as she watched him.

“I have many names around the world in this realm, my dear. The one I’m known by in the Enchanted Forest is Belsnickel.”

“Where did all the Christmas presents come from?”

“Always the sheriff,” he chuckled, “Have to have the answers to all the questions, don’t you? Henry was right. Years as a hero that I didn’t get to deliver presents,” he explained. “Whether that was because of the curse, or the chaos of the ensuing years.”

“What about Killian?” she asked. “He had thirty-seven presents.”

“That blessed boy!” Marco laughed. “As a child and lad growing up in servitude, and even at the Naval Academy, it would have been pointless to give him his gifts. They would have been confiscated or destroyed by his masters. Before he turned villain, it just wasn’t practical to give him the things that had collected over the years. A ship just wasn’t the place for them. Once he turned villain, after Milah’s death, he didn’t deserve anything from me, so there wasn’t anything for him for centuries. But once he chose the hero’s path, I started saving his gifts again. I knew this day was coming and how much it would mean to him to receive all those gifts from his childhood.”

“But…” She trailed away. He turned his bright brown eyes upon her as comprehension dawned.

He smiled gently at her. “Yes, I am many hundreds of years old. I have far sight and can see many things that are secret,” he winked at her, “and yet to be.” Emma’s eyes fell toward the floor as a blush graced her cheeks. “And now, my dear, my work here is done. I must move on to the other residents of our fair town before I retire tonight.”

Emma’s eyes were still focused on her feet as Marco raised her chin to look at him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Merry Christmas, Your Highness.” And then he was gone.

~*~*~

Christmas night, Emma sat tucked between Killian’s legs on the sofa in front of the fire and Christmas tree just watching the blinking lights and enjoying a cup of cocoa before bed. Christmas Day had been magical and perfect. Filled to overflowing with love and laughter, family and friends. Killian shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he muttered, “What in the world is that?”

“Hmmm? What in the world is what?” she replied, twisting to look up at him.

“Every time the lights blink, something blinds me. Something on the tree.”

Emma hoisted herself up and walked over to the tree. “I don’t know. Is it reflecting off an ornament? Or maybe there’s something else hidden in the tree?” she wondered, aloud. She reached in and withdrew a tiny wrapped box with Killian’s name on it. She gasped in surprise as she turned and brought it over to where he sat. “It’s for you.”

“Thank you, love.” He reached up and took the small token from her, not quite able to hide his surprise.

“Don’t thank me. I don’t know where that came from. Must be from Santa,” she whispered with a small smile on her lips.

He smirked at her. “Marco, you mean?” he cheeked. “I still can’t believe that Marco is Santa,” he murmured opening the box. Inside was something that had his eyebrows shooting all the way to his hairline. He pulled out a pink pacifier with his hook and held it up for Emma’s inspection. A bashful grin lit up her face.

“I just found out for sure this afternoon,” she began, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

“You’re with child?” Killian choked out, rising from the sofa and drawing Emma into his arms.

“Yes,” she beamed at him. “Merry Christmas, Killian.”

“A very merry Christmas, indeed, Swan.” He lowered his head towards her and captured her lips in a kiss filled with love and joy of the future laid out before them.

Fin

A/N Obviously in my timeline, Emma got pregnant with Hope much earlier than in canon. I hope you liked this Tee! Merry Christmas!

[shreddedparchment]

Man and Wife Pt.08

The Reconciliation

04/21/2019

Pairing: Bucky x Reader          Word Count: 11,265

*Masterpost in Notes     Warnings: lusty scenes, language, depression, fucking angst in boat loads

A/N: I am...emotionally exhausted. I’m also hungry. I got home from work, answered all the comments for chapter 7...and then started work on this one. I have only gone through to edit ONCE. So if you see something funny, please ignore it for me. I will come and edit again, probably tomorrow, but I didn’t want to keep you guys in suspense and I wanted to know what you all would think. I’m so excited to read your reactions to all of the different things we learn in this new chapter. I hope this pieces some of y’all’s hearts back together a bit. As always if you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

You wander the streets completely out of your mind. This night seems more silent than any night before it. The world has died because you’ve died. Inside, you’re broken, raw and cut, bleeding heart turning your limbs cold. Or is that the winter air?

You’re not sure what time it is but suddenly you’re not moving. You hear a mumble…a distant hum of sound and syllable. Warmth bleeds through your sweater, Bucky’s sweater. Why had you dressed yourself in his clothes out of all the damn clothes you had?

It feels like another life, this morning when you chose the light gray piece and pressed it to your face to inhale his heady scent. He hadn’t even worn it, but your apartment had been filled with the smell of him.

You look towards the warmth and see dark hands. They’re large and the veins on the back protrude as they hold you harder. Your body jerks back slightly and you look up towards the mumbling.

It’s not a face you want to see. You blink, trying to clear your vision of it, but it won’t go away.

You don’t want this face. You don’t want any face. You’ve never wanted to not exist. From the moment you were born, through the death of your parents, after your grandma died, and then after your grandpa left you last—even then, when you were alone with no kin to claim you, you hadn’t wanted to disappear and dissolve into nothing.

Tonight, you do. Tonight, is hell. It didn’t happen. It can’t have happened.

You turn to look back the way you probably came. You don’t remember walking this far. You don’t remember choosing to go this way. Maybe you should go back and check to see if you’re wrong?

“Y/N?!” A final firm shake, and you jerk your head back towards Henry’s bewildered face. “What the hell’s the matter with you? Answer me.”

You watch his mouth move and then look up into his dark eyes with your own blank expression.

“I’m cold.” You confess and realize you’d left your coat at home…no…not home. The apartment. Bucky’s apartment. How can that be your home when it’s been defiled and disrespected?

Henry sighs heavily and shrugs his long tan coat off then wraps it around your shoulders. He shuts the top button and then rubs your arms to warm you with friction.

“What are you doing out here this early?”

Early? You look towards the left and see that the sun is rising making the sky pale and winter gray. The cold seems to bite more fiercely, and you finally reach up to wrap your arms around yourself. You’re still a little numb. Angry.

You can feel unforgiving fire rush through your veins, charring your heart as you flash back to the image of a beautiful, perfect, Amazonian blonde laying in your bed, her bottom barely covered with your sheets. Bucky laid out beside her, staring up at the ceiling as if it were an everyday occurrence.

Is it? Had this already happened before? Has he done it often? Is that where he’s always been? Sleeping with other women? Had he just been that angry with you today that he’d brought her home? Is she his girlfriend? His mistress?

“Y/N?” Henry shakes you roughly, jerking your head back and forth sharply. “Damn it, say something or I’m going to take you to the hospital.”

“I can’t go home.” You sigh.

“Why?”

“Bucky he…can you take me to Casey’s?” You ask, unashamed of needing Henry right now. You might have walked to Casey’s eventually but it’s so cold out.

Henry leads you to his car, talking, asking you questions but you’ve drifted into thought again. You think about all those days that Bucky has been away from you and wonder how many more girls he has.

When the car stops, you look around and get out on your own to head towards the old redbrick townhome. All the lights are out but Case will get up for you, right? Even if you don’t have your husband…You stop at the base of the cement steps as the agony of what you walked into suddenly decides to catch up to you.

Slow footsteps walk up behind you, the scrape of sole on dirty cement. “Y/N?”

His voice is gentle, soft, and kind. Your eyes begin to water as you whimper, afraid to breathe, afraid to speak, afraid to blink because if you do, you’ll shatter and there will be nothing left but the dry flakes of your broken spirit.

You had tried so hard to make him happy. So hard…and he wasn’t happy.

Henry moves around you, staring at your face as your lip quivers. Your eyes continue to water but with your refusal to breathe, your face starts to show signs of your lack of oxygen.

You can see that Henry is at a loss for how to help you. He hurries up the steps and rings the bell. He rings it five times. Long presses to wake Casey up.

“What?” Casey's sleepy voice snaps, annoyance sharpening her voice.

“Casey, it’s Henry. Y/N is out here, I-I think something’s wrong.”

There’s silence and then the sound of the intercom buzzing off. Less than fifteen seconds later, the foyer light shines yellow and the heavy black door is pulled open. Casey’s holding her robe shut at her chest, her eyes flash to Henry and then search for you before she nearly jumps the stairs down to you.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” She demands, her hands on your shoulders.

You look at her, searching for comfort in her green eyes and you finally breathe. A harsh gasp in and a long wracking sob out as you slowly sink to the ground. Casey goes with you, trying to hold you up but she can’t seem to do it.

Henry rushes down towards you and Casey, hovering beside the pair of you unsure of what to do.

He and Casey exchange a loaded look but then Henry’s helping you up. He lets you lean against his chest as he supports most of your weight as you continue to sob loudly, almost violently in the way your breathing stops and then starts again with pure pain.

His warmth moves with you until you feel yourself settling onto a bed. Your old bed. Where’s Lisa?

Your brain doesn’t seem to be working correctly. It’s like you come in and out. Like tuning a radio to a really shitty station.

You hear talking. Then darkness. You feel the bed. Then darkness. You feel the cold slip away. Then darkness. You see Casey kneel in front of you. Then darkness. You feel Casey sitting beside you. Then darkness. You see Henry disappear through the bedroom doorway. Then darkness. You hear a phone ring. Then darkness. “Are you fucking kidding me, Wilson? You just got back! You didn’t even give me any of that sweet sugar.” Then darkness. “Listen…I think something happened with Y/N and Bucky. She’s here but it’s like she’s gone catatonic. She was crying for a bit, bad crying. Like when her parents died. I’m scared, Sam. I’ve never seen her like this.” Then darkness. Casey is smiling. “I can’t wait for you to come back and keep that promise.” Then darkness. “Steve is going? Good. I hope it’s nothing too serious. I’m going to try and see if she’ll sleep.” Then darkness.

Casey then helps you lay down. She coaxes you down on your side, and you shove your hands between your knees. You stare at the wall until you’re once again swallowed by darkness only this time it stays.

Bucky stands in his kitchen archway, staring across at the picture—the selfie—that he took. Your hair is dusted with flour, so is his for that matter. There’s chocolate cake mix on your cheek puffed out as you laugh, your brilliant blinding smile making his chest burn with regret.

His own eyes are shining bright, faux surprise on his expression, mouth wide open, as your left hand—with one finger sticking out and covered in brown—holds his right cheek so that his left is pressed flush to your right, a large chunk of that same chocolate cake mix dabbed on the point of his nose.

Bucky cries. Soft slow tears that drag down his cheeks heavily as he stares at the shared bliss in the picture. He’s still not even completely sober. This pain will be worse when he is. How could he have let you leave? He should have held you. He should have clung.

He should not have slept with the stupid blonde!

What has he lost? What has he done?

How long he stands there, staring at that picture he doesn’t know. The alarm for his morning workout goes off in the bedroom. It’s suddenly cut off and Bucky realizes that his guest must finally be awake.

Bucky will never drink again for the rest of his God forsaken life. How could he have let this happen?

Warm hands wrap around his chest and he grabs them, squeezing too tight and jerks them away from his body.

Penny’s eyes are wide with surprise and her mouth open in a pained gasp. “Ow…”

“Get out.”

“What is your problem?!” She demands. “Oh…”

Bucky glances at her and sees her staring at the same picture.

“That’s right…you’re married.” She licks her lips then tries to reach out again. “It’s okay, baby, everyone slips up sometimes.”

As her skin touches his, Bucky recoils, glaring black and death. She retreats a step, blinking with fear at the look on his face.

“GET OUT!” Bucky screams, so loud the room shakes.

Penny jumps and she disappears down the hallway again. A moment later she emerges, dressed but barefoot, the long zipper up her back still undone. Bucky walks into the kitchen as she passes behind him and doesn’t stop until he’s resting his hands on the blue tiled counter. The front door opens and for the second time tonight, slams shut.

He looks up at your face, that beautiful face…every kiss, every touch, every caress he's given you has been tainted. The last time he saw you, the last time he told you he loved you, he’d been reckless and unsympathetic towards your civilian capabilities. You weren't a soldier. You weren’t an agent. You weren’t even a normal person with advanced athletic ability.

You were you, and he'd made you feel inadequate. How is that the last time he’d shown you any sort of affection? He should have been more careful. He should have show you he loved you every second of every day. Instead he watched as your heart tore in two. He ripped it out of your chest, laying naked beside that girl.

Bucky shakes his head, still staring at your laughing face, wishing he had the real thing before him so that he could beg and plead. Even at his worst moments, when Hydra’s darkness had edged close once more, Bucky had never wanted to end it all.

It had never even been a fragment of a thought. But with the prospect of facing a lifetime without you when you’ll never smile at him like that again…how does he fix this? He has to fix this.

“Bucky?”

He turns, finding Steve with his hands clenched at his sides, shoulders wide and heaving. As new tears trail down Bucky’s cheeks, he can already see the disapproval in Steve’s eyes. Steve knows. Probably passed the girl on her way out.

“What did you do?” Steve asks, disappointment and anger burning behind his sea blue eyes.

Bucky licks his lips, tastes the salt of his tears as he looks down at the floor then back up to his closest most trusted friend in the world.

“I lost her, Steve. I need to get her back.”

“Are you still drunk?” He asks, unforgiving and harsh in his voice.

Bucky licks his lips again then shakes his head. “Not really.”

“Then suit up. Elias resurfaced. We leave now.” Steve turns and leaves the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

The sounds of the office are deafening. You have such a headache. An unwelcome visitor that has more than out stayed its welcome.

Your eyes mist over as you massage your temples, wishing for relief. But you can’t take any pills. Not yet. Your hand flutters down to your stomach, pressing and rubbing at the area where your baby waits…not even a baby yet. Nothing more than a small bean, somehow still growing and flourishing in your wrecked body.

Your phone beeps again. Just a singular and short beep. You’d changed it from the old tone, too long and to jarring to keep when your mind is already splitting.

You look at the screen and your eyes water as you read the message preview.

The Perv: Y/N…please…? You don’t have to answer my calls but at least text me back. Please. I made a mista-

The screen dims out and you shut your eyes tight. The picture of you and Bucky at your wedding, still in its fancy silver frame shines like a beacon of failure on your desk. Lyla saunters up to you and eyes you warily. You’ve never been this reserved and unapproachable at work before. Of course Lyla is the only one willing to do so.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Would you please, fuck off?” You ask, ruder than you’ve ever been in your entire life. You have no time for Lyla and her passive aggressive teasing or her just plain aggressive insults.

“Jesus, what the hell crawled up your ass?”

“Oh my God, Lyla! Just leave me the fuck alone! Every day I come in here and have to deal with your petty ass bullshit. Henry doesn’t want to fuck you, alright? Get over it. Stop being so desperate and get a damn life!” You rise, grabbing your purse from underneath your desk, and push past her.

Lyla jumps as you brush past her, everyone else in the office stopping to turn and look at you as you stalk towards the elevator.

You hear Henry’s door open as the previously noisey office is plunged into stunned silence at your outburst. When you move into the elevator and slam your fist on the button, you turn to see Henry with his hands on his hips, staring at you as you disappear behind automatic doors.

Bucky sits relatively still, wearing dark pants, a black t-shirt, over which he’s thrown a dark gray blazer with a breast pocket on the left to level up the look. He’s wearing black Chucks, so the outfit is really just casual.

“Are we just going to sit here?” Says a warm, slow speaking voice. It’s almost monotone though the single tone it speaks in is friendly, easy, and coaxing. It comes out of a woman who looks to be in her late fifties, with dark brow hair a streak of gray down the top left that flows into her carefully piled high bun.

Bucky sits up straighter, holding his hands between his knees as he leans forward a little and twiddles his thumbs gently.

“No. No.” Bucky assures the woman.

“Okay. Tell me about yourself.”

Bucky sighs. “My name is James Buchanan Barnes and Sam referred me to your office.”

“Mm.” The lady says, nodding quickly twice. “And why are you here, James?”

“Bucky.” He corrects her, gently. His anger has long since left him.

The woman smiles. “Why are you here, Bucky?”

“I…had a wife.”

“Had? You’re not married anymore?”

“No, I am. I have a wife. I’m married.” He nods, adamant suddenly. You are still his wife…it doesn’t matter that he hasn’t seen you in a month. “She…she left me.”

“Why?”

“Because I…I slept with someone else.” He tightens his jaw, smooshing his lips into a quick thin line before relaxing his mouth again.

“Why did you sleep with someone else?”

“My wife, Y/N, she made me angry, but it wasn’t her fault.”

“Making you angry wasn’t her fault?” Bucky shakes his head. “Why?”

Bucky sighs heavily, inhaling through his nose then releasing with a slow stream of air through his mouth. He reaches down and scratches his ankle with his shining metal fingers. The doc doesn’t even look at them. She’s a real pro.

“I shut her out. I’d been snapping at her. Overreacting to things that shouldn’t make me angry.” He shakes his head, staring at the floor by the doc’s feet as if he’s arguing with himself in his head. “She wanted to be in my life but…I can’t let her be there all the time.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not safe and I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid I’ll hurt her. Worse than words. Worse than sleeping with someone else. Sometimes, I…I snap. I get violent. I don’t mean to and it’s been better since she’s been around, but it still happens from time to time.”

“Does she know why you keep her at a distance?”

Bucky nods, the weight in his chest increasing. “Yeah, she knows. But not because I chose to tell her. My friends told her best friend Casey and Casey told Y/N while I was on mission.”

“And how did she react? Did you two get to talk about it?”

Bucky scoffs. “No. We didn’t get to talk about it but that's also my fault. I picked a fight as soon as I got home and during the argument she alluded to me never telling her anything, but she didn’t come right out and say it.”

“How did that make you feel? Knowing that she knows even though you didn’t tell her yourself?”

“Like shit. It makes me feel like I’m a terrible husband. I should have told her.”

“And are you a terrible husband, Bucky?”

Bucky thinks for a moment then nods. “Yes. I pushed her away. I hurt her.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why? Because I’m a dick.”

“No, Bucky. Why have you been pushing her away?”

“Because I want her to be safe and I’m not safe. Not always.”

“So, you’ve been trying to protect Y/N?”

Bucky nods, thinking about the judgement he’s received from his friends, especially Steve. He’s so angry at Bucky for hurting you. For ruining this. But it goes further than that. Bucky saw it in all of their eyes at the gym while he’d been training you. All of them want to protect you.

“Yes. Even my friends are—they're really invested in her being safe.”

“Safe from what?”

“I don’t know? Me? I’m afraid to ask them.” Bucky admits, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

“Why?”

“What if they say yes? I’ve hurt them before.” His mind shifts to Tony.

The doc is silent for a long moment and Bucky shifts his gaze to the floor, picking at his cuticles with his metal thumb.

“Let’s go back to you keeping your real reasons for pushing Y/N away to yourself, Bucky. Why was it so important for you to hide the truth from her?”

“I-I didn’t want her to be scared of me.” Bucky admits, looking down at his fisted hands, gripping each other tight.

“Why would she be scared of you, Bucky?”

“Because I’m a monster. A murderer. She had a vague picture of what my life was before we got married but she didn’t know how many lives I took. She didn’t know what I was truly capable of. Now she does and I don’t deserve her.” He admits and he knows that it’s true. You’re good and sweet and pure and gentle and even in the heat of your anger literally moments after you’d found him in bed with another woman, you hadn’t been able to hit him. He’d been ready for it, recognizing the strength in you. The strength he’d fallen in love with at the water park when you’d slapped him for telling you breasts were awesome.

But the hit never landed. You had looked almost stunned at your own display of violence and whatever reaction he’d had to your raised hand; it had scared you.

The doc leans forward, pulling Bucky’s gaze back to her. “Does your wife love you, Bucky?”

“Right now?” Bucky asks, bitter and sarcastic as he thinks about the hundreds of missed calls. All those texts still unanswered. You’d completely cut him off. “I don’t know. She did. Before I did what I did. I’m sure she did.”

“Should she love you?”

Bucky shakes his head instantly. “No. She deserves better than me. She shouldn’t love me. I hope she doesn’t.”

Even as he says the words, he doesn’t mean them. He wants to mean them. He wants you to have a safe and fulfilling life with someone that can make you happy. But when he pictures you with someone else, Henry for example, rage fills his belly, stinging pain and hard jealousy shadows his mind and no, he can’t stand it if you don’t love him.

He needs you. More than ever, now that he knows what his life is like without you in it, he needs you.

“Don’t you think Y/N should be the one deciding that?”

Bucky meets the doc’s eyes and he knows she’s right. Regardless of what he wants, hopes, or needs, all that matters is what you want.

You’re cold. The table’s too cold. The synthetic plastic sticks to the skin of your arms so you lift them and place them on your stomach.

A loud sharp click echoes in the sterile room and you jump, startled by the rush of noise. Your hands flutter up to your chest, but you quickly compose yourself as a woman with kind brown eyes and dark wavy hair moves into the room.

“Mrs. Y/N Barnes?”

“Yes.” You smile nervously at the doctor, her pristine white coat giving you relief for some reason.

“Is this your first time with us?”

You nod and the doctor smiles. “I’m Doctor Carroll-”

“L-like Lewis Carroll?” You ask her stupidly, too nervous to stop your own mouth from moving.

She chuckles and nods as she takes her seat to your right on a black rolling stool. “That’s right. Just like the author. I’ll be your attending OB-GYN from now on so if you have any questions regarding your pregnancy, please feel free to call the office and I will call you back as soon as I am able. Okay?”

“Okay.” You reply timidly.

You hate to admit it but when you’d been with Bucky…you weren’t this shy. Being with him, knowing he’d chosen you, had filled you with some strange confidence. An audacity to put yourself forward and now…

“Can you lift your shirt, Y/N?”

“Of course!” You hurry to do as she asks and bundle the soft jersey fabric of the button up sweater at the crease beneath your breasts.

“When was your last period?” She asks curiously as she reaches over and adjusts the paper sheet that you’ve laid over your legs, your bare nakedness under it making your ears hot.

“Uh…about two and a half months ago? Maybe longer? I’m…I forgot to keep track.” You’d been so wrapped up in Bucky that you’d completely forgotten to mark your cycle days in your phone’s period app.

“Okay.” The doc says with a smile then scoots closer to the ultrasound machine. She removes a tube of what you know will be that weird jelly stuff you’ve seen in movies. You had never pictured yourself here, waiting for her to say- “It’ll be a smidge cold okay? Sorry.”

She’s really nice. You nod as the inner corners of your eyes prickle.

There’s a funny squelching noise as she applies the gel to the wand, but you don’t laugh, though maybe if things were different, you might have.

When the cold gel hits your lower belly, you gasp lightly but your eyes zoom towards the screen. The doc looks at the screen intensely, staring for a bit then reaching over to click a few keys on a small keyboard. The coloring on the screen changes and there’s more white than black, another few clicks, then more black.

“I-Is everything okay?” You look at her face, frantic with worry suddenly.

“Mmmm. I can’t seem to…find…”

Can’t find? Find what? Where’s your baby?!

The doc picks up the wand and sets it aside. “Give me one sec, I’ll be right back.”

She gets up and leaves as your mouth opens and closes as you try to call out to her, to ask her questions, because your mind is in a flurry. You can’t think suddenly. A panic rises in your chest making your heart ache in lamentation. Had the pregnancy test been wrong? Were you just having irregular periods now?

You scrunch up in the only form of crunch you will ever do voluntarily, as you watch the doc disappear through the door, she’d come in.

This can’t be happening. Yes, you are angry. Yes, things are shit. Yes, you aren’t sure what is going to happen between you and Bucky but…that’s your baby!

For two extremely long minutes, you wait. You stare at the ceiling, willing yourself not to cry because you don’t want to blubber in front of Dr. Carroll.

You jump again as the door clicks open, accompanied by a harsh, “Ugh!”

You jerk your head towards the door and watch as Dr. Carroll sits back down and unhooks the little wand again.

“I-Is everything okay?” You gasp and Dr. Carroll punches two buttons near the top of the keyboard then applies more gen and presses the wand gently back to your tummy.

Loud thrumming fills the room and your heart explodes with relief. Dr. Carroll turns a kind smile towards you.

“New machine. I’m so sorry, I’m still trying to figure out the exact way to get it to do what I want it to do. Our ultrasound tech is out on vacation.”

But you’re not hearing her. You don’t care what she has to say because you’re crying, staring at the screen at nothing apparently but it’s there, the heartbeat and until this moment you had no idea just how much you wanted this baby. You’d been excited to do this with Bucky and now you know that even without him, you will do this. You will raise this baby gladly.

“How about some pictures?” Dr. Carroll asks and you nod frantically.

“I-Is she-I mean, I don’t-” There’s no way to know if it’s a boy or a girl, crazy. “Where is it?”

Dr. Carroll smiles. “You’re only eight weeks so it’s just a tiny little blip but, right…there.” She points at a small smudge. You cry harder, shutting your eyes tight as you smile.

“Thank you.” You sigh and lean back to watch the screen a little longer.

“You’re very welcome.” Dr. Carroll says with a sympathetic smile. She looks slightly uncomfortable for a second, opening her mouth then shutting it before she finally decides how to word what you know she’s probably been dying to ask. “How many copies should I make?”

Do you want one for the dad? That’s what she’s asking. Where’s the daddy? That’s what she wants to know. Out of professionalism, she’s not asking you, but you see the question in her eyes.

You can’t keep this to yourself forever. “Two.”

Dr. Carroll presses a few more buttons and then a printer buzzes away in the corner. She gets up to retrieve the pictures and holds them out to you, the small smudge right at the center. Sadness begins to overwhelm you and your eyes mist over making the image blurry.

You’ll give it to him, right? You have to. Only question is, when?

Bucky opens the door to his apartment and moves inside, dragging his feet because he doesn’t want to be here.

Your blanket it still on the sofa, exactly where you’d left it on the right arm. You always got cold watching movies, so Bucky had bought you an ultra soft green throw. It smells like you and he’s afraid to touch it in case he somehow contaminates it with his own scent.

The kitchen sink is clean…he misses the dishes neatly piled at the center of the basin. You hated doing dishes. If you forgive him, he’ll do the dishes from now. Forever.

It’s depressingly empty inside. A small pile of your clothing is still sitting in the corner of the bedroom in the low pink chair he’d bought you to read manuscripts in while he slept. He liked you close. If you forgive him, he’ll never complain about the clothes being left out again. He just wants to watch you read until he falls asleep again, like he used to.

Bucky settles onto the end of the bed, new green sheets bought for the bed—those yellow ones, the ones you’d loved so much, he’d throw out. He begins pulling off his boots slowly listening as muted music shakes the ceiling.

Everyone is celebrating. The music dies and there’s rhythmic counting. There’s a shout of, “One!” followed by a louder shout of “Happy New Year!”

He tosses his boots at his dresser, they hit and fall with dull thuds on the carpet. His eyes find the picture of you and him, his metal arm around your shoulders as he holds you tight against his side while you rest your head in the crook of his collarbone. Your smile is sweet and real, and Bucky misses you so much he could die.

“Happy New Year, baby.”

You sit by your desk, sighing lightly as you reach for another cookie. You munch on it unenthusiastically.

Your office party has almost completely died down. Music is still wafting from the stereo but almost everyone is gone.

“Hey, you doing okay?”

You look up to find Henry, completely sober because unlike his employees, he’s not one to drink and get all silly. He’s wearing such a nice suit, all dark and sleek with a shiny silver vest underneath to celebrate the new year.

“Of course.” You nod, turning your eyes back on Lyla and her cohorts. They’re all drunk and acting stupid. “But you won’t be if she spots you. She’s drunk enough to do something bad enough that you’ll have to fire her.”

Henry smiles wide. “You’re probably right. I should go. I don’t want to tempt her. I’m glad you came, Y/N. Casey was right, you need to get out and get back into the world.”

You frown. You don’t want to talk about this again. You’ve been doing your best. This isn’t easy. Christmas had been so hard. It would have been your first Christmas with Bucky and you’d spent it with Jess and Jeff and their kids, then Casey and Sam when they’d torn themselves away from Tony’s lavish Christmas party.

Henry seems to sense your train of thought and he suddenly grows nervous. “Right, well, I’m going. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Happy new year, Henry.” You give him a smile but gasp as he suddenly leans down towards you. He presses a kiss to your cheek, letting it linger before he pulls back to stand up straight.

“Happy new year, Y/N.”

He walks away, leaving you to deal with the nervous flutters in your stomach and the painful ache in your chest. An ache that seems to have soldered itself into your very bones. Into your soul.

An hour later, you’re shutting off the lights, and pulling on your coat to go. You’d told Casey that you’d be home late. She and Sam had been invited to Tony’s New Year’s Eve party—so had you but they knew you wouldn’t go—so she knew that at least you weren’t alone which meant that she could have fun without you and not worry.

You fix the collar of your heavy red coat and lean in to shut off Henry’s office light when your eyes scan his desk and a bright blue binder catches your eye. “Shit.”

The manuscript! You rush to it and flip it open. He hadn’t approved the edits. The office is closed today, and it needs to be in the mail first thing Wednesday morning. Which means only one thing.

You knock on the door again, loudly, using the side of your fist to hopefully rouse Henry from his sleep.

His neighbor’s door suddenly opens and an angry looking man with dark curly hair and black bushy eyebrows glares at you.

“S-sorry.” You stammer, nervous when he steps out further, his eyes looking you over hungrily. You know that look, even if it is dulled with sleepiness.

You bang one more time, even harder, as your heart panics.

“Alright, alright!” Henry’s voice, easy but clearly drowsy comes through. The door opens and you squirm inside, pushing against him so that you can shut the door behind you.

You push yourself up onto your toes to look through the peephole and tremble as the fear passes.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Henry puts his arm around your waist and pulls you aside to look through the peephole himself.

“Nothing. I…your neighbor creeped me out.”

“Good. He’s an ex-con. Nice guy, usually, but I’d rather you not bump into him again. What’s going on? Why are you here?”

You sigh and hold out the manuscript, thick and heavy, and needing his approval. “You forgot it in your office. We can’t miss this deadline again. The author’s getting impatient.”

“Shit, I forgot. Thanks for bringing it over.” He takes it from you, and you realize as he holds it to his chest that his chest is bare. His beautiful dark skin on full display for you to gawk at if you wished to.

You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t nice. His body is hard as a rock, his muscles etched as if in stone, cut and clean. His Apollo belt barely hidden by dark, low slung sleep pants. The atmosphere shifts quickly first curiosity rages within you and then pain. So much pain. Your heart squeezes hard as you shut your eyes and try not to picture Bucky.

His body laid beside that stupid blonde, perfect and sculpt, even more than Henry’s. The world sways beneath your feet and you teeter backwards towards the wall.

“Y/N, you alright?” Henry’s right hand finds the back of your left shoulder and he helps hold you steady.

Instead however, you go tumbling towards him. You fall against his chest and he wraps his arm around you.

“Jesus…” Henry says in slight shock, but he holds you against him just the same as you lean, not because you want to but because if you try to stand you will fall.

You know the dizziness might just be because you’ve been running around all day and you haven’t had a real chance to catch your breath. But the fire in your chest, burning, charring, and blackening your heart is what steals your breath.

It makes your eyes sting and before you can stop them, tears are springing forward.

It’s New Year’s another important first that you don’t get to share with Bucky. You’re so angry at him. You’re so furious and yet you miss him and wish things were different. You miss feeling safe. You miss belonging to him and the way he belonged to you.

You want to feel needed and wanted and desired again. Was it you? Did he go to her because you weren’t enough?

“Y/N…” Henry whispers, and you look up at him. His dark eyes are intense pools of black, searching your eyes for a rebuke to his arm around you but even if you wanted to pull away, you still can’t. Your world is still spinning.

“I wish I knew how to fix it.” You sob. “I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Then don’t fix it.” He brings his other hand up, dropping the manuscript to the side so that it falls to the floor and pages fall free of the flimsy metal binding, and caresses the sides of your face. “I can make you so happy, Y/N. Let me make you happy.”

You’re sobbing when he leans down and tentatively kisses you. His lips are soft. So damn soft and it feels so good to be caressed and cared for again that you give into it and kiss him back. The kiss gets deeper as Henry licks your lips and your mouth opens to welcome him in. The burn in our chest still hurts but it also flutters and sparks.

It feels good to be kissed. But not as good as it had felt with Bucky.

You pull back and whimper, the pain cutting and deep. You don’t want to think about Bucky. It hurts.

Henry unbuttons your coat and slips his hand back along your sweater, wraps it around your waist, and pulls you up to lean against his chest. His lips dive back towards yours and he kisses you a little harder, commanding and demanding reciprocation.

Your sob splits your mouth and Henry delves into the depths of you, tasting you, reminding you that you can still feel other things besides betrayal and hurt.

He holds you tighter, dipping his hips and you feel the unmistakable rock of his cock. You gasp against his lips and your sob turns into a moan.

The sound ignites him, and he walks you back until you’re pressed against the wall.

Bucky disappears completely from your mind as Henry’s hands find the skin of your back, your coat is discarded, and when you’re both naked he takes you into his bedroom and falls with you into the bed to make sure you understand just how well he can take care of you.

~~~~~~~~~~

You’re not numb. You can feel every sting of confusion, every bite of regret, every hint of agony that Bucky’s indiscretion has left with you. You can see a life beyond Bucky, beyond your marriage to him. You can see how you might move on and how you might create a new life away from what he did to you.

As Henry’s arms wind their way around your waist, you realize that this isn’t what you want. You catch his wrist and pull it up, away from your body as you sit up. The silk sheets of his bed fall away, baring you for him once more.

“What is it?” He asks, curious but otherwise unaware that anything might be wrong.

You blink, fighting the renewal of the need to cry. All you seem to be doing lately is crying.

“I’m married.” You remind him.

The atmosphere shifts and you can feel the spark of passion ice out. The nerves radiating off of Henry as he scoots closer, reaching for your exposed hip. You grab his wrist again and stop his hand from touching you.

“But I thought-?” He begins, hopeful.

“This was a mistake.” You whisper, hating to hurt him but hurting so much too.

“Are you seriously going to stay with that guy? After what he did to you?” Henry demands, getting a little agitated.

“I don’t know.”

“Then why-?”

“Because I’m married, Henry.” Doesn’t he see that you’re just as bad as Bucky now? You needed to feel wanted, you’d been coming to Henry so much when Bucky wasn’t paying attention to you, for comfort and company when you should have been telling Bucky that he was making you feel excluded.

“Married?!” Henry asks, indignant, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He grabs your left hand and holds it out for you to see. “Like this?”

You know what he’s pointing out and you yank your hand out of his grip where there still rests no ring.

“I don’t need a ring to remind me that I’m married.” You argue and for a moment you wonder if Bucky had had a ring if he wouldn’t have cheated. It’s stupid to think that a ring might have prevented what happened but you’re grasping at straws here.

“He ignored you, Y/N. He clearly wasn’t ready to be your husband.”

“And I wasn’t ready to be his wife.” You point out. “Don’t pretend to know what we went through, what our marriage is—was. You weren’t there.”

You get up and gather up your clothes, pulling them back on as quickly as you can.

“Y/N…please don’t do this. Let me show you what it’s really like when someone loves you. I’ll marry you myself.”

You don’t look at him as you pick up your coat.

“Goodbye, Henry. I’m sorry.” You hate yourself for giving in. You’d fought it for so long. You’d pushed Henry away for so long but in the end, you hadn’t been able to fight four years of history. What you know now though, is that you don’t love Henry and you never did.”

When you reach the spot where you’d given in to your physical needs, you quickly begin to gather up the spilled manuscript. When it’s piled neatly, you move to the large desk in Henry’s living room and place it neatly at the center. You grab the title page and flip it around to its blank side then quickly scribble with a red pen from Henry’s desk,

I quit. -Y/N

Winter is at its end, the wind chilly but with the sun on one’s skin, it feels pleasant and refreshing. Many people seem to think this because they’re all out wearing shorts and thank tops, t-shirts and dresses, enjoying the large park and the small buds of the coming spring, blooming in the carefully fenced off shrubs by the concrete path.

New leaves are growing, small and fragile but green and soon they’ll turn the park jade again.

Beside him, Sam is walking, at ease as he looks down at his phone. His fingers fly across the keyboard. Bucky seems almost as eager as Sam does in his steps, moving with a wide stride towards the center of the park.

A snack stand comes into view, wooden, made to look like a small log cabin. In it a man is selling lemonade and pretzels. In the small queue, Bucky spots their target; a blonde with short blonde hair, freshly cut and styled in large curls.

“Case!” Sam calls out, shoving his phone into his pocket and lifting his hand up into the air so that Casey won’t miss him, completely ignoring the fact that she couldn’t even if she wanted to with the large super soldier walking beside him.

At first, when she hears his voice, Casey smiles. She beams, excited and happy to see Sam. Then her eyes drift to his right and she spots Bucky. Her eyes blaze and she stomps out of line. Sam hurries forward and catches her in a hug—no…wait, he’s holding her back.

Bucky stops. She’d already known he was coming but he should have expected this reaction anyway. Bucky’s eyes aren’t watching Casey anymore though, he’s scanning the crowd, steel blue eyes hungry for sight of you.

He hasn’t seen you in three months. Three months!

No other time in his life has Bucky felt so empty, not even when he’d literally been emptied of everything that made him who he is.

“You have a lot of nerve!” Casey growls, Sam sighs but holds her around her waist. “She’s not here, dumbass.”

Bucky’s eyes fly to Casey and her blazing red face and toxic green eyes spew hate at him, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is that you aren’t here.

“What?” It’s the reason he came. He was here for you! He knew that he might not be able to talk to you. He’d known that he shouldn’t.

“Why the fuck did you even ask her to marry you if you were going to dive into some other chick’s snatch at the first sign of marital problems?! Asshole.” She makes another jump and swipe at Bucky, but Sam wraps his arms around her more securely, closer, distracting her for a moment as she looks up at him.

Bucky’s shame is endless. He swallows hard because she’s right and he’s suddenly even more desperate to see you than he was before.

Sam is whispering to Casey, calming her down somehow.

“Is she really not here?” Bucky’s voice is so heartbroken that when Casey looks back to him, Sam barely looking over his own shoulder at Bucky, he can see a softness in her green eyes. She feels bad. Maybe for the situation? Or you? Or both of you and him? She’s not only angry at Bucky, that much is clear.

There must have been a lot of Sam pleading Bucky’s case to her over the past three months and Bucky suddenly feels a swell of appreciation for his friend.

Casey sighs heavily, reaching down to intertwine her fingers with Sam’s. He squeezes hers, reassuring her.

“I-I won’t talk to her, Case.” Bucky pleads. “I just want to see her. Please?”

Bucky can hear his own desperation and he doesn’t care. He needs you. Even if all he can do is watch from afar.

There’s a guilty shift to Casey’s eyes and Bucky’s not sure what to make of it but then it doesn’t matter because she lets Sam pull her closer, hugging her tight, and rests her head on his chest. “She’s around the corner, sitting on a bench. She knew you’d be here. She didn’t want to see you!” Casey raises her voice to call out after Bucky because he’s already pushing through the line and around the snack cabin towards the path where it curves to the left and right.

Which corner? To the let or the right? He’s almost tripping over his feet as he searches for you. He chooses the left path and he doesn’t even turn completely when he spots you about halfway down the walk, sitting on a bench, hunched forward as you reach down to scratch your shins.

You’ve got your navy dress hiked up to your knees, it’s long, floor-length but you’re wearing brown sandals.

You’re perfect, your hair loose and flowing, the look on your face neutral—much better than the way he’d seen it last. He half hides behind the corner he’d almost turned down to stare at you more, greedily eating up your form with his eyes. His chest is burning with satisfaction for only a second before it’s full of yearning.

You’re so close. Finally seeing you has only strengthened his need to have you, to keep you, to hold you. But he can’t. You don’t want to see him. You need your space and he gets that. You still haven’t even responded to any of his calls or texts which he still sends you tons of. He only calls once a day. Just before bed. To wish you good night. But you never answer.

Bucky could stand here all day, staring at you, his eyes brimming with unshed tears, but he can’t. If you see him, you might turn and run, and he doesn’t want you to feel like you need to flee. He should be the one running. He was the one in the wrong.

He begins to edge back towards Sam and Casey, moving in inches because he can’t bear to tear his eyes off you. Then you stand and his heart leaps into his throat because what if you turn and see him?

But then you straighten out and the dress falls to your feet. It evens out, and for a moment Bucky forgets how to breathe.

There is no way that he’s seeing things because even though the dress’s skirt is loose, the waistline just below your breasts is tight and it he can see the top bunched up section of the skirt stretch outwards.

He stops trying to hide and steps back around the corner, standing tall and straight in his white t-shirt and jeans. His black leather jacket left unzipped. His eyes, stare with his jaw slack from shock, as he stares at your clearly pregnant belly.

It’s not big…not yet. Just extended enough that he can tell.

Then you sigh and your shoulders sag, but your hands move down to that belly and rub affectionately as you turn towards him, confirming that yes, you are indeed pregnant.

The shock on your face as you spot him, your eyes wide, your mouth falling open is barely noticed as Bucky begins to move towards you, his arms hanging limply at his sides. You are frozen it seems because you don’t dare budge. Your hands are still curved around the tiny swell of your tummy and Bucky can’t find the words as he reaches you because he can still only stare at it.

He knew he wanted you back. He knew that he couldn’t do anything about it because it’s not what you needed. After seeing that belly, he knows that he must stop at nothing to win you back.

“How?” He finally sputters. He sees you gasp at his question, agony rips through your eyes. “When?”

He’s needs to know, he has so many questions. So many hopes. The guilt in your face is understandable. You hadn’t told him. Of course, you’d feel like you did something wrong, but nothing matters. Nothing else other than that you’re clearly several months pregnant. How many months? Do you know the sex? Have you heard the heartbeat? Shit, did you go alone to the doctor? No. He should have been there.

He looks back up at your face and finally, you speak. “I slept with Henry.”

This must be what it feels like to die. This sensation of endless falling in suffocating darkness. And then the pain as you finally hit the ground. Brittle bones breaking and your insides splayed out in vivid reds and pinks, your guts torn asunder. If he hadn’t already felt like he’d lost you for good, he might feel worse…and then his eye drift down to that belly.

Is that not his baby?! Horror fills him up, gnawing at the small hope he’d found in seeing you pregnant.

“Is…is it-?” He can’t ask. He doesn’t want to know. What if it isn’t his? What if you’re with Henry now? Are you going to ask him for a divorce?

“I’m four and a half months.” You tell him and Bucky feels like he can breathe again. He breathes in deeply through his nose as he pinches his mouth shut, fighting the grief that threatens to break him. For one horrible minute he thought that baby wasn’t his and it was everything that all of his worst nightmares are made of.

He brings his hands to his hips, turning away from you a little as he struggles to compose himself. He whimpers a little, so quiet that no one but you, standing so close, can hear. His eyes are bloodshot as he fights the urge to sob. When he turns back towards you, he can see your own beautiful face contorted with sadness. Your lips pulls down deep at the corners as your eyes water.

“I was going to tell you but…but then…I need to go.” You suddenly say and turn to leave the park, but Bucky can’t let you go. He can’t. That’s his baby! You’re his wife! His everything. He has to make you see.

“No, wait. Please…” You stop and turn to look at him, his heart ripped in two as he watches your lip quiver. The last image he had of you was of the pure rage when you’d caught him in bed with another woman, this broken beauty, made pitiful with a quivering lip is not what he wants to see. And he did this to you. He broke you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, please…please don’t go. Come home.” He begs.

You look away from him as your tears begin to fall, down at the ground, you don’t hide your face from him.

“I can’t.” You sob. “Let go.”

“Y/N…baby, please?” His own voice breaks but you pull out of his grip and when you dash away, he doesn’t follow.

“Y/N, is this really a good idea?” Casey asks as the two of you move into the now fully restored elevator of your old apartment. Your home. Can you even come back to it now? Bucky begged you to come back but was that because of your baby? Or because he still loves you?

Even after you’d told him that you’d slept with Henry, he’d only cared about the baby.

“You said they’re out on mission, right? That Elias guy is in the states now?” You ask, your eyes glued on the doors before you while you lazily rub your stomach. A habit you’ve formed from worrying so much about how you were supposed to tell Bucky. Now that he knows, the movement is simply to comfort you.

“Yes.” Casey nearly growls. She doesn’t want to be here. She doesn’t like drama, especially when she thinks she might just stab Bucky through the eye if he makes you cry again. You’d been inconsolable two days ago. “They took off for Nevada this morning.”

“And Sam said they wouldn’t be back today, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I just need to grab a few things, Case. Then I won’t have to worry about coming back here and I won’t need to see him again.” Seeing Bucky is dangerous. You’d nearly caved at the park. Hearing his voice, seeing his face, the tears that he’d cried…You wanted him. You still want him. It’s not fair.

It’s not right.

You’re still angry. You can’t trust him. But you love him, and you want him. Why can’t you stop wanting him? He’d hurt you so much.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Casey asks, eyeing you suspiciously. “Moving out?”

“Yes.” You lie.

You press your thumb to the small panel and are stupidly relieved when the door clicks, and you can pull it open. Why you’d half expected Bucky to have removed you from the system, you don’t know. Surely, he’d put hers in so she could come and go as she please…but then, why did he ask you to come home?

Thankfully the apartment is empty. You don’t give yourself time to look at the pictures of you and Bucky hanging on the walls or sitting on tables and shelves. You breeze through, hurrying to get a bag packed with your things so that you can get out of here. Even if you’ve been assured that Bucky won’t be here, you’re terrified to see him, here of all places.

You just might stay if he asks you to.

It takes you twenty minutes to track down all the items you wanted and quickly zip up the brown leather bag and throw it onto your shoulder. It’s heavy. You groan as you lift it and struggle to hold it there on your shoulder as you move back out of the hallway and into the living room.

Casey stands staring towards the front door and you follow her gaze. Your eyes land on him just as the door snaps closed.

No.

You see his blue eyes flash with questions, curiosity, agony, wonder, agony, hope, agony, and then he finally settles on desperation.

You look at Casey and she looks at you, her eyes a screaming question of What do we do?

You look down at the floor and grunt lightly as you re-hoist the bag on your shoulders.

“We’re leaving.” You assure Bucky, avoiding his gaze but before you can even take a step, he’s there in front of you, his hands on your arms.

“No! No, please don’t go.”

Casey moves towards the door, slowly, trying to be unnoticed.

“Bucky-” You begin.

“I-I’ve been going to therapy, Y/N. I have so much to apologize for. So much to make up to you. Not just what I did that night but everything that came before. I pushed you away, I can see that now. I wanted to protect you from the person I was, the person I can never stop being. I’m broken, Y/N. So much more than you know. I should have told you everything from the beginning, but I didn’t want you to be afraid of me. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

As if you could ever hate him. You want to! But as he reaches up, placing his hands on the sides of your face with his fingers eagerly, in desperate need like an addict finally getting his hands on his vice, stroking your cheeks and your hair and whatever other part of your face he can touch, you know that you don’t hate him.

He hurt you and you’re angry at him. But you can never hate him.

“It was stupid and selfish of me to keep that part of myself from you. Please forgive me. Not only for that but for everything that followed. If you’d known that the reason I was getting upset was because of my struggle with…with the memories and the flashbacks then maybe we could have found a way to work through it together? I failed us by shutting you out. I didn’t trust your strength and you lost it because I didn’t let you use it. I’m so sorry…please…And I know I wasn’t the greatest husband. I left you alone too much. Saying that I wasn’t used to having someone depend on me and want me around is a cheap cop-out…I was thoughtless, Y/N. I didn’t think about your needs. I only thought about mine. I will never, never do that to you again. You are my life, I love you. If you come home, you’ll have to chase me out the door with Barnes before I leave you again.”

You might have laughed if things weren’t so strained between the two of you. Barnes, his favorite handgun, is still stored at Casey’s. You’d stopped carrying it with you everywhere because it hurt too much to know that a piece of Bucky was always with you…the baby doesn’t count; the baby is part you.

“Bucky…” You sigh, crying again because how could you not cry when he so fearlessly bares himself to you. “Henry…”

Bucky’s hands freeze, his breath hitches as he struggles to find his voice again. His slides his hands down along your neck and it feels so good you think you might pass out.

“A-are you two t-together?” He wonders, struggling to keep his voice even.

“No.” You sigh. Should you have lied? “It happened once, on New Year’s. But I slept with him Bucky, and you hurt me. Do you have any idea what it felt like to see you laying there next to that woman, whatever her name is?”

“Pe-”

“I don’t want to hear it!” You gasp, almost shouting at him because the last thing you need is a name to put to the body.

“Sorry…” He whispers, or maybe he just doesn’t have enough air to speak louder?

“I-Is she the only one?” You force the question out because this is what’s tormented you since the night you left him. How many more athletic blondes are there? “Or have you been with more-?”

“NO!” Bucky’s adamant denial startles you and you jump. He adjusts his tone, quieter but just as assertive as you look up into his frantic blue eyes. “No, Y/N. It was just the one time. I was drunk out of my mind because I thought you’d left me, and I was so…nothing I say can ever make right what I did. Even if I was drunk, I should have known better.”

Yes, he should have. So, should you.

“I don’t know what to do with this, Bucky. I don’t know how to not be angry at you. Every time I picture that night, I wanna throw up. I want to punch something and yell and I’m so mad at you. How could you do that to me? To us?”

Bucky groans, leaning forward to rest his forehead against your shoulder.

He smells so good this close, like home.

“I-I don’t know if I can trust you. We had a fight. A big fight. And you slept with someone else. How do I know that you won’t do it again? If we were to get back together-”

His head shoots up at these words, hope flowing from them.

“We will fight again, Bucky. How do I know that you won’t go looking for another woman with a better body than mine again?”

The jealousy is stupid but it’s also there, etched into your bones because of how perfect that woman had been. It’s like he looked for just the right person, the one that would check all of your insecurity boxes, and then he fucked her in your bed.

“I won’t, kitten, I promise.”

“Stop making me promises you can’t keep.”

“I can keep it!” He insists. “Let me prove it to you. Come home. Please, please come home.”

That pet name. Why had he used it? He’d been doing better without using it. Now you were so very aware of just how much you wanted to stay. How much you were already leaning towards yes.

It scares you and you panic.

“I…I can’t do this, Bucky.” You say suddenly then move to go around him, avoiding looking at his eyes because you know what you’ll see there, and you won’t be able to resist it.

It’s almost like he knows what you’re thinking because he suddenly drops to his knees right in front of you.

It startles you because yes, you love Bucky. Yes, you believe him when he tells you that he loves you.

Before all this shit happened, the two of you had been trying to make this marriage work but for him to get down on his knees? He didn’t even do that when he proposed. It makes him look small and desperate and as you find his eyes, you realize you’ve brought him to this point.

The two of you have brought each other to these exact points, one scared to stay. One desperate to keep.

This constant misery that the two of you have been in, this torment is your fault as much as his. It would have been easier to leave him if you’d lied to him about the baby being his. Now that he has you back home, he’s almost wild in his need to keep you here.

“No! No. Please, please, Y/N. Please don’t say that.” He begs, pulling you close with strong arms that you know you can’t pull out of.

He leans slightly to his right to bury his face into the side of your slightly extended tummy. Your baby, probably reeling from the cacophony of emotions racing through you, kicks. It’s so faint but you feel it. You know Bucky can’t have felt it. Your little one isn’t strong enough yet.

With that kick comes the realization that this is bigger than your wounded pride. This is your family. However, broken it might be at the moment, this man clinging to you, and the life growing within you is all you have.

This had been your dream. A loving husband. A beautiful baby. More than one beautiful baby hopefully. You’ve been alone all your life. Casey the only exception. Her and her family had accepted you so openly but as much as you love her and them, they aren’t yours. Not like this.

Your eyes water and you sigh with shallow breath, struggling to breathe.

“Please don’t leave me. I kn-know that I haven’t been the best husband or even an adequate husband. I know that I ignored you and I didn’t mean to do it, really, I didn’t. I just didn’t know how to…I’ve been so used to it being me. I know that’s not an excuse. I asked you to marry. I moved us in here. I didn’t call you when I should have. I left you alone every morning. None of this is your fault so please, please…” He pulls back to look up at you, his eyes pouring and red. “Please don’t give up on me. You are my life’s only gift. Please don’t take it away from me.”

He hides his face in the side of your belly again, clinging to you and the future growing inside of you.

You cry with him. For several minutes, the two of you just cry. Your arms hang at your sides as Bucky’s are wrapped tightly around your waist and bottom.

“No.” You finally say, your voice cracking and morose.

Bucky jerks his head back to look up at you with his mouth slightly open, his eyes wide and searching but already full of defeat.

“No, Bucky. You didn’t do this alone. I told you, I slept with Henry.”

“Don’t-” Bucky grits his teeth and looks at your belly. He reaches up and places his hands on the sides, probably reliving the moment that he thought the baby might not be his. “-don’t say his name.”

Finally, a real reaction to your own mistake. Something believable.

You can’t blame him for not wanting to hear Henry’s name. You stopped Bucky before he could tell you that blonde’s name, and you don’t care to know it either.

“I made that mistake.” You say, determined to at least not torture him with Henry’s name being spoken aloud and in your home. “But this is also my fault. I knew that things weren’t going well with us, and I said nothing. I kept my mouth shut and let things fester because I didn’t want to fight. I thought maybe I was being sensitive? I’ve never been married before. How much attention do wives get from their husbands?

“I should have told you that I wanted to see you more, that I felt like I wasn’t important to you.” You watch as Bucky leans in, scrunching his eyes with the regret that he made you feel that way. “I betrayed us by not being honest about the struggles I was going through. I’m sorry that I didn’t speak up. I’m sorry.”

Bucky’s eyes search our face, also stained with tears, and then looks at your tummy. “Then, will you stay?”

As his eyes meet yours you shake your head. “No, Bucky, I-I can’t yet. But I wanna try and make this work. I love you…and I miss you…but I’m still so angry at you. I want to trust you, but I don’t know how.”

“I’ll show you. I’ll prove it to you.” He nods. “By doing what we should have done from the very beginning.”

“And what’s that?”

“Will you go out with me?”

The question confuses and startles you. After a few blinks, you shake your head.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I want to take you to dinner and maybe a movie? Or whatever stupid things couples do on dates. We’ll go play mini-golf.”

You laugh once and it’s like you’ve given Bucky back his reason to live. He holds you tighter, stands up to pull you closer. You one laugh igniting a fire within him, a fierce determination. He leans in to kiss you, but you shake your head.

“No.” You’re not ready for that yet.

He doesn’t complain. “Go on a date with me?”

And after a long moment of staring at his beautiful face, you sigh. “Okay.”

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[gotham-ruaidh]

Truth to Triumph

Previously…

Chapter 21: The Triumph

March 15, 1905

Spring has finally arrived in New York City, after a long winter that was cold and dark in more ways than one.

 For this spring we celebrate the justice meted to Denys Randall, Silas Hawkins, and much of the brass from the Knickerbocker Steamship Company. Guilty pleas admitting their criminal negligence in failing to ensure that functioning and adequate safety equipment was provided on the PS General Slocum on June 15, 1904. Criminal negligence in the deaths of 1,021 men, women, and children who just wanted to spend a nice summer day together.

 I’ve reported in the pages of this newspaper how Randall and Hawkins showed no emotion in the courtroom as they entered their pleas. I’ve also reported how these pleas are likely better for the thousands of living victims and families of victims, who do not need any more reminders of that terrible day last June, and have been spared the needless circus that would have been a criminal trial.

 Both men will be very old when – if – they leave their prison cells. Their family reputations and fortunes are in tatters. Pillars of New York City society have been dashed to smithereens. Many in the Randall and Hawkins families – who are fully innocent of any malice or wrongdoing – have gracefully accepted their new burden, and are taking great strides to make peace with the victims and their families.

 Some in these families, on the other hand, have not. Only now do I feel comfortable sharing how Denys Randall’s son Jack had an ugly confrontation with me and my pregnant wife outside the courthouse on the day his father was sentenced. Had it not been for the personal intervention of Chief Aidan McCallum on that day, there is no knowing whether we would have been injured – but at least Jack is now under the safe watch of doctors at Bellevue Hospital.

 Never before have I published my personal view in this newspaper, but I am grateful for the unwavering support and platform Mr. Pulitzer has given me. It’s my job as a reporter to share the facts of any matter – not my personal opinions.

 But I do want to share an opinion, and I believe many of you will share it along with me.

 Many lost so much last June. We shouldn’t ever forget that. And I’ll make it my life’s mission to not forget. As you may know, my wife and I are chairing a commission to plan a grand memorial to the victims, beginning with a commemoration ceremony for the first anniversary of the tragedy this June.

 But I implore you to please remember – at the same time that we have lost so much, we have also gained in many ways beyond measure.

 Our friendships. Our resiliency. Our strength. Our trust.

 New Yorkers are at their best when we are challenged. When we come together to help strangers from other lands, who speak other languages. When we become one.

 I know that in many ways, the events of June 15, 1904 proved to me that in the depths of despair, we find unity and strength. We have built a city whose strongest foundation is its people – resilient, but not brittle or breakable. Stronger because we have been tested.

 That’s my opinion. But I’m sure it’s shared by many of you.

 We must always remember what happened last June. I will continue this fight as long as you will let me.

 Thank you for giving me this platform to help so many of you.

 With deepest gratitude,

Jamie Fraser

 “Grandpa?”

 Henry Fraser closed the book of his father’s essays. “In here!”

 His five-year-old namesake great-grandson darted into the parlor of the brownstone. “You said we could leave at three. It’s almost three-fifteen!”

 Henry chuckled as he carefully stood up from his easy chair. He was in very good shape for a man about to turn eighty, but he got quite stiff from sitting down sometimes. “All right, all right. Hold your horses. Got your hat?”

 The smaller Henry nodded, placing a crumpled Yankees cap atop his messy hair. “Where are we going again?”

 The older Henry took his hand and led him down the hallway and toward the stoop facing East Twenty-Second Street. “I want to show you something important.”

 --

 “I don’t get it, Grandpa. It’s just a fountain.” Smaller Henry cocked his head, holding his great-grandfather’s hand tightly. “What’s so important about it?”

 Older Henry sighed, walking closer to the pink marble fountain, bearing the carved relief of two children and the inscription They were Earth’s purest children – young and fair.

 “I want to tell you a story about another little boy, also named Henry.”

 Young Henry darted away from a swooping pigeon.

 “You remember the story I told you about my parents – your great-great-grandparents?”

 “Yeah. I never met them.”

 The elder Henry sighed. “No, you didn’t – and I’m very sorry you didn’t get that chance. Well – something very bad happened, 75 years ago today. And this fountain helps us remember that it happened.”

 Young Henry frowned. “But why is it in this park?”

 “Because this is the neighborhood close to where it happened. And the people who lived here wanted to remember it.”

 “But why do we want to remember something bad?”

 “Because even when bad things happen, good things happen, too.”

 Two punks – spiky hair, and safety pins in their ears – strolled by.

  Henry cleared his throat. “And something really, really good happened on that day.”

 “What?”

 “My mama met my papa.”

 Henry scrunched his nose, eyes shielded from the sun by his baseball cap. “Grandpa Jamie and Grandma Claire?”

 “That’s right. They met because they were helping the people who got hurt on that day. And you know what?”

 “What?”

 “They were both a little hurt on the inside, too.”

 Young Henry nodded, processing. For a while he watched the squirrels and pigeons darting in the shrubs and flowers of Tompkins Square Park, as dozens of people passed by – oblivious to the fountain, and the tragedy it commemorated.

 “But they helped each other feel better, right?”

 Henry Fraser’s eyes filled with tears. He coughed to clear his throat.

 “They certainly did. Come on – let’s go over to Gem Spa and get an egg cream. I’ll tell you all about it.”

 ~*~*FIN

[midnight-smallwood]

The Ink Demonth, Day 6: Dress Up

Henry fixed his suit, a huge grin on his face. Usually getting all fancy wasn't his thing, he was an artist after all, it can get very messy.

But today was different. Today was a very special day.

Today is the day he marries Linda Drew.

A hand on his shoulder made him jump, relaximg instantly once he realized it was Joey. "Don't scare me like that! You know how nervous I am!" Henry said with a laugh as he nudged Joey lightly.

"What? Can't I tease my future brother-in-law?" Joey asked, winking at Henry. "Come on! We need to get going! The wedding is about to start!" Joey said as he head towards the door.

~~~

Henry stood there, forgetting how to breathe as Linda walked down the aisle. Her long black, wavy hair was pulled back in a bun. Her dark blue gentle eyes looked just like the night sky. She held her father's hand, as they walked down the aisle. Her father's black hair was streaked with a hint of grey, his dark blue eyes filled with pride.

It was hard to believe Linda and Joey were siblings, they looked nothing alike expect for a few small features.

Speaking of Joey... Joey was standing next to Henry, sniffling as he held a tissue.

Linda stopped in front of Henry, her smile made Henry's stomach flip flop.

He wasn't paying attention as the priest spoke, his only focus was on Linda.

That was one of the few times he got wore his suit. Another time would be for the funeral of his son, and the other would be when he walked down the aisle with his daughter for her own wedding.

She was so beautiful that day, he felt so proud of her. He remembered when he found out he was going to be grandfather, how happy he was!

. . .

"Grandpa! Look at me!" A little girl said happily, wearing a old dress that was too big for her over her own clothes, an old hat on her head.

"My! Aren't you beautiful?" Henry asked, picking his granddaughter, a huge smile on his face. "Did your grandmother help?"

"Yep! I wanted to see some old clothes Grandma had! How did you two meet?" She asked as Henry sat down, his granddaughter on his lap.

"Well. Your Uncle Joey and I have been friends since we were kids..."

...

Henry leaned against the wall stained with ink, a single tear going down his face as he closed his eyes. He missed his family so much...

[sorenmarie87]

No chick flicks though

Pairing : Jo x Reader x Dean

Word count : 1,584

Written for : @archiveofourown73 ‘s Hearts Desire challenge.

Prompt : Having Children.

A/N: Here it is the last and final part of this fic.  Thank you for sticking around and seeing this through to the end <3  Shout out to the lovely @fictionalabyss for reading this over and helping me when I was stuck and to the lovely @coffee-obsessed-writer for helping me name the girls :)

If you want a good idea of what the triplets look like, take a look at the story aesthetic :)  Yes that’s how I picture Sammie, William and Amethyst.  

And then there were three Masterlist

The news that you were pregnant shocked no one.  Estelle was nursing a beer as a grin formed on her face.  “See Dean, I told you it would happen.”

“I was expecting one kid, not three.”  His hand was resting on your baby bump and Jo was standing beside him with a huge grin.  “We need to talk about names.”

“We have plenty of time.  Wait, actually if it’s a boy, I’d like to name him William.”

“After Jo’s dad?”  You felt her squeeze your hand and you nodded.

“William Henry.”  Jo quietly added as she looked over at Dean.  “After your grandfather.”

“William Henry Winchester does have a nice ring to it.”  You could tell Dean was smiling even if you couldn’t see his face.   “What about girl names?”  

“Amethyst.  After my mom.”

“You don’t have to do that, sweetheart.”  Rue kissed your forehead before taking a seat next to your mom.  

“I want to though.  Amethyst Marie Winchester, what you guys think?”  You asked and one of the babies kicked your stomach as if they agreed.  

“I think she likes it.”  Jo watched Dean’s hand move slightly.  “Oh! I know, what about Samantha?”

“Samantha Jo Winchester.”  

“After the two most important people in my life.”  Jo blushed as she felt your gaze on her.  You wiggled your eyebrows and then chuckled.  “The third is knocked up and having our babies.”

“Nice save.”

--

“It’s so weird watching Dean with kids.  I mean, he’s always been good with them.”  Sam was sitting in the chair next to your bed while Jo was out in the waiting room talking to your parents, and Dean was taking a nap on a cot the nurses brought in.  “Y/N, thank you for giving him some slice of normal.  I know that it wasn’t easy getting him to agree, but watching him with all three of them?  It sort of gives me hope.”

“Really?”

“One day, I’d like my own shot at a normal life.  You don’t get too many chances at that when you’re a hunter.”

You gently squeezed his hand and smiled.  “I’m sure someone will come along and sweep you off of your feet.”

“That’s the dream right?”  You watched your room door open and the nurse popped her head in and asked if you were feeling okay and if you needed anything.  You shook your head, and she turned towards Sam asking him the same question.  The blush that formed on her face while she was talking to Sam made you quietly giggle.  It wasn’t until she left the room that you said anything.

“You should ask her out.”

“What?”

“That cute nurse, you know the one who just asked if you needed anything.”

“No.”

“Why not, she was making eyes at you Sam.”

“Not doing it.”

“Chicken.”

“What if you’re wrong, and she was trying to chat you up?”

“I have a girlfriend, whatever this is with Dean, and three children.  Trust me, she wasn’t flirting with the lady that just had children.  She was watching you Samsquatch.”

“If I pay you, can we stop talking about this?”

“Not until you ask her out.”

“Here I thought Dean was stubborn.”

“I promise I’ll stop bothering you.”

“I know you won’t.”

--

Something shifted between the three of you after the babies were born.  

Jo and Dean were cuddling on the couch watching a movie as you were trying to sooth Amethyst.  “There, there baby girl, it’ll be fine.  Everything will be alright.  Mommy’s got you.  Mama loves you and so does Daddy.”  She blinked as you carefully took a seat in the rocking chair.  “There’s something your daddy doesn’t know though, even though we had our differences and he was kind of an asshole in the beginning, I love him like I do your mama.  I never thought it’d be possible to care for two people in the same manner but here I am.”  You were softly singing a lullaby to her when the nursery door cracked open  and Dean poked his head in.

“Everything okay in here?”  You watched as he checked on Samantha and William before squatting next to you.  He gently smoothed down a patch of hair on Amee’s head that was always poking up.  

“Someone was just being fussy.”

“Y/N, can I tell you something?”

“Hmm?”  You hummed as continued rocking.

“I love you too, I hope you know that.”

“How-”

“Did you forget that we have the baby monitor from bedroom in the front room?”

“Yes...obviously I did.  You heard all of that huh?”

“Jo did too.  She was joking that Amee’s first word was going to be asshole.”

“I hope to god that's not her first word.”

--

"What, all I told them was that if they didn't stop picking on Amee and Sammie, grandma would come down here and shove a shotgun up their ass."

"William."  

"That's my boy."

“Dean, you’re not helping.”  You sighed but William took his seat at the dining room table and pulled his homework out of his bookbag.  “Look buddy, I know you were just standing up for your sisters, but threatening a kid with Grandma Ellen is just cruel.”

“I know, she’s the nicest mean person I know.”  

"You should've told him that grandma would curse him if he didn't stop."

"Grandma Estelle is a white witch, she doesn't curse people William!"  Amme pulled the messenger bag she carried over her head her and glared at him.  

"What about Rue?"

"Grandma Rue, she's an enigma."  

"She wouldn't curse people.."  

"I don't know about that actually."

"Is that why Grandpa isn't around anymore?  Rue cursed him into staying away."  

You bit your lower lip and looked back at Dean who gently squeezed your shoulder.  "Guys, do your homework."

You heard three voices yell out a less than enthusiastic okay as Dean guided you into another room.  "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."  

"What's wrong?"  You heard Jo appear in the doorway behind the two of you.  Dean pulled you into his lap as he took a seat on the couch.  You rested your head on his shoulder as Jo pulled the ottoman in front of you and took a seat.  “What happened??”

“They brought up Y/N’s dad and how Rue might’ve cursed him away.”

“They didn’t mean anything by that, babe.”  Jo rested her hand on your thigh and she felt Dean take ahold of if.  “I mean, you don’t even know who he is right?”

“There were no pictures and my mom never talked about him.”

“Did she do something though?  I mean no one gets that worked up over a comment..”

“I have no idea.  Anytime you bring him up around her, there’s this weird energy that fills the room and Rue storms out.  There was one time though, I couldn’t sleep so I was gonna get a cup of warm milk and I heard my mom and Rue talking.  She kept bringing it up how my mom was better off without that hunter bastard in our life.  That’s the only major fight I know they’ve had.”

“Was that the night Estelle called the bar and asked if you could stay for a few weeks?”

“I think so.”

“How’d you learn to hunt then?”  You shared a smile with Jo who squeezed your hand.

“That’d be my doing.  Mom nearly shit herself when I taught her how to use a gun.”

“Oh my god, I remember that!  She whipped your ass so hard and then confiscated your dad’s gun.”

“That sounds like something Ellen would do.”  Jo chuckled as Dean brought Jo’s hand up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.  “You know it makes sense how easy you were able to pick up on what the three of us were teaching you back then.”

“You know the old phrase if you don’t use it, you lose it?  I have a feeling that’s why I was good at research but not field work.”  You smiled gently at Dean who was trying his hardest not to laugh.  “Something you want to share with the class Winchester?”

“Nah.”  You rolled your eyes and watched as Dean put a finger to his lips shushing you in the process.  There were three tiny heads poking in the doorway.

“Mommy, I’m… No we’re sorry for saying all that stuff about Grandma Rue.”  You removed yourself from Dean’s lap as Amethyst took a step forward and you held out your arms.  

“You don’t have to apologize for telling your brother and sister the truth.  I never had a father but I was blessed with three mothers who loved me so much that it didn’t matter.”

“Daddy won’t leave us will he?”  Sammie quietly asked as she took a seat in between you and Dean.  

“I love you guys too much to just up and leave.”  You watched the emotions play out on his face but when he tickled Sammie’s side, you smiled and laughed.  William took a seat next to Jo on the ottoman.  “I’m pretty sure both of your moms would hunt me down and drag me back here.”

“Damn right we would.”  Jo and you replied in unison.

“Daddy, can we watch a movie together since we finished our homework?”

“No chick flicks though.”  You and Jo laughed at William’s declaration, he was definitely Dean’s son.  “Can we order pizza?”

“One pizza and family night coming up!  Go change into some comfy clothes and we’ll get everything else ready.”

--

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