#i took the opportunity to change my design of him since i had one (1) not-super-detailed drawing saved of him

[amethyst-halo]

fire man himself

[deadlynavigation]

Hello, I really enjoyed your m! Wednesday x reader stories. Can you write about how his s/o gets shocked by the amount of gifts his gives and the expensive family vacations he takes them? Forgetting that he and his family are loaded lol.

Money Well Spent

Fandom: The Addams Family

Pairing: Male!Wednesday Addams x Reader

Warnings: Mild swearing, mentions of seduction, rich people being rich

Author's Note: Wednesday is aged up in this- same as previous fics

Navigation

Your boyfriend had money. Was money. And it was getting ridiculous.

There were a couple of times he had crossed the line, a couple of times when he put a bit too much pressure on the already thin ice.

After a while, you kept a mental list of these moments.

-1-

It’s been almost a week since you last saw your boyfriend. Wednesday had accepted an offer for his work, but there was a catch- a weeklong business trip in New York.

Not that you blame him. From what he told you about the offer, it’s an amazing opportunity for both his position and his company, one that would benefit him for years to come. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t miss his gloomy presence and warm embraces from time to time.

So imagine your despair when he calls your cell, on the day he’s supposed to arrive back, informing you of a last-minute change of plans.

“So you’re staying another day.”

“With a heavy heart, cara mia.”

You sigh quietly, and it carries to the other end of the line. “I do apologize, Y/n. I didn’t account for further negotiations regarding the business deal.”

“It’s fine, Wednesday. It’s not that big of a deal- I’ve survived this long without you, haven’t I?”

“If only I could say the same, darling.”

And so here you were on a Friday night, watching some generic TV program and mulling over your to-do list for next week. If Wednesday were here, he’d kiss you until you forgot about it, claiming that the weekend is for you and him, not work.

After a bit of sulking, you hear movement near your apartment’s entrance. Probably the building settling. But as the mysterious sounds grow louder, you rise from the sofa, mind on high alert. You creep near the entranceway, eyes scanning for a weapon of some sorts.

“Y/n, are you home?” Wednesday’s voice echoes throughout the apartment as you pick up a particularly heavy shoe. Dropping it quickly, you make your way to the door, where Wednesday is leaning against the frame.

“Babes?”

“Darling.” He breathes in relief.

“You’re- back. I thought you had until tomorrow morning?”

“I was reminded once more of a man’s desire for money.”

You rub your forehead. “You bribed an agent.”

“I satisfied his materialistic desires.”

You stare at him for a minute before giving up trying to understand your boyfriend. Sensing your disapproval, Wednesday drops his luggage and pulls a small package from his coat pocket. It almost looks like a ring box, all black and ready to be opened.

“I understand your anger with me, Y/n. It is completely justified. However, this may make up for my tardiness.” He offers the box to you, face dead serious with a hint of anticipation. You take the box from him, opening it with steady hands. Wednesday has given you gifts before- expensive gifts. This better not be a repeat.

As the lid pulls back, a watch is revealed- a Jaquet Droz, from the look of it. You’re in love with it the second you see the sleek design. And though you’re tempted, you pull back into reality, facing your lover once more. He’s adopted the stance of a sheepish partner, knowing you would never allow yourself to buy this (but would want it all the same).

“You’re not buying me out with this.” You insist.

“Of course not, darling. I’d be disappointed if this was all it took.”

“And I’m expecting an apology.”

“In the morning. I was gone for a week, cara mia. Let me enjoy you right now, instead of the reminder of your absence.”

And so you sigh and grumble, but in the end, Wednesday has won your heart over with his loving words and actions and watch.

-2-

“Mr. and Mrs. Addams, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” You say, muting the excitement in your voice for fear of them despising your expressive voice.

“The pleasure is ours. We’ve been waiting for Wednesday to introduce us to you, Y/n.” Gomez Addams replies happily.

“We’ve heard all about you from our son. All good things, of course. Tell us, is it true you’ve lit a spider’s heart on fire?”

“Mother, Father.” Wednesday cuts in. “Please don’t overwhelm them. We’ve only just arrived, and you’re picking them apart like they’re a deceased relative.”

“No, it’s fine.” You say, then lean over to your boyfriend. “You’re telling me that story later.”

“Of course.” Wednesday whispers, then turns back to his parents. “Shall we?” He gestures to the sitting room.

“Ah, yes. But before we do, your father has something for Y/n.”

Your eyebrows furrow. You turn to Wednesday, who is avoiding your glare in favor of picking a conversation with his mother, catching up quickly as Gomez goes to grab whatever it is he has up his sleeve.

“Here we are!” You all startle at Gomez’s loud exclamation in the room over. Clattering noises are heard before the father rushes back to you, Wednesday, and Morticia, holding a long object draped in velvety red fabric.

“This has been passed down to Addams’ lovers for generations. I gifted it to Morticia, my mother bestowed it upon my father, and her father… It’s been in the family for decades, and now it’s your turn to hold it.” And with that, he pulls what is possibly the most expensive-looking sword you have ever seen from the fabric, holding it out to you. Your eyes go wide as you look from the sword to Wednesday and back to the sword.

“Wow- thank you,” you marvel. Words cannot describe how beautiful the weapon is- and as you think of that, you almost snort at the irony. But it’s true. The sword really is amazing, jewels trapped in its metal as it glints in the moonlight.

“I would have told you, beloved, but that would ruin the surprise,” Wednesday murmurs into your ears as you accept the sword with a delicate touch. “You are holding thousands of dollars worth of beauty in your hand, yet it pales in comparison to you.”

You almost drop the sword as Wednesday takes on a seductive tone. You want to yell at him, that he is in front of his parents and this sword is worth more than all your organs combined, but damn, his voice-

“It’s an honor, Mr. Addams, Mrs. Addams.” You turn back to your hosts.

“Please, call me Morticia, dear.” Morticia smiles.

“And feel free to call me Gomez. You are part of the family now- and family uses first names.”

With that, they stride into the sitting room, expecting their son and his lover to follow. And you do- after you glare at Wednesday, drag him down by his coat lapels to kiss him heatedly, and hiss at him that you will be getting gloves to handle this sword.

-3-

“Pack your bags, cara mia.” Wednesday strides into your shared room, dark sunglasses hiding his eyes.

Your head rises from your book, eyebrows raised. “...Why?” You ask hesitantly.

“We’re going on a trip.”

You place your book down, not mentally prepared for Wednesday’s antics. “Kay, I’m gonna need a little bit more than that. You’re not just whisking me away to god knows where without any explanation whatsoever.”

Wednesday sighs dramatically as you wait, not moving to pack as he hoped you would. It’s a tense couple seconds, breeze fluttering in from the open windows as your gazes lock and a silent argument occurs.

Wednesday, surprisingly, breaks first. “To Spain,” he starts. “My father has friends there, and he thought it was high time he visited them again. With the whole family this time.”

Only the Addams Family could schedule an impromptu trip to another country with a snap of their fingers.

“See? That wasn’t that hard.” You coo sarcastically. “Now- what? I’m not technically family…”

Wednesday stops for a moment, taking your words in before walking over to where you’re perched on the sofa.

“Cara mia.” He murmurs, dropping to his knees in front of you. His fingers draw a path from your cheek to chin, settling there as he talks. “Look at me. You are family. My parents, however bothersome they may be, consider you the daughter they never had- and Pugsley hasn’t tried to put an arrow through your heart yet. You are family, as far as any of us are concerned.”

You breathe deeply for a moment, bathing in the romantic words of your lover. “All right, then.” The words tumble out of your mouth.

“Excellent. Now go pack.” Wednesday stands back up and goes to grab your suitcase.

That man would be the death of you.

[xmortuarykittyx]

Ever Locked

Part 1: New Beginnings?

pairing: Older!Leon x Ex!Coroner’s Assistant Reader

warnings: nsfw, light smut

extra: this story takes place 7 years later, Leon being taken into the government is still a cannon event, same with RE2 being a cannon event. i hope you guys like this! POV has changed, chapters will flip flop from your pov to Leon’s chapter by chapter and these parts will be longer. Next chapter will be Leon’s pov.

Soft wind blew against the cracked window, locked in place with a bolt. Rain pelted the chipped glass, sliding down to draw clear designs as the morning sun started to peek out from behind the grey clouds. Birds singing happily about the new day, the limitless opportunities that the day could bring. Shadows of the birds reflecting over the glass pane, the shadow an unfamiliar view. My eyes aren't use to seeing the sun, not since settling in Seattle, Washington.

Finally, I decided to move my limbs, the numbness taking over as the muscles ached and stretched. Purple sheets wrapped around my ankles, keeping me from getting up as quickly as I wanted to. Those damned dreams, I couldn't get away from him even in my slumber. His face marred into the back of my eyelids, he haunted my every waking and sleeping moment. The bolt that was beat into the window sill, causing the window to never be open, it was because of him. The fear he would slip in, much like he had done all those years ago. The three locks on the front door another reminder that, even if he was, god knows where, I was unsafe.

  A reflection that didn't register in my mind, who was this? Me? Surely not, my eyes didn't have that dark of circles under them... did they? The figure in the mirror moving close as I feel the counter press into my thighs. "Fuck.", I didn't even recognize the person i became once the police men took me from Leon's home. They were shouting something about... a disease, something wrong with people in the city. Their hands gripping at my arms as they pulled me from the shit hole. People, their eyes yellow and skin, a sickly white. My stomach rolled, a groan of nausea coming from my lips. Those people, I watched as they bit into the man behind me, his skin held by tendons and muscle, before that too was ripped away from him.

  A cough of acid, the burning of my throat brought me back to that damned look. It's eyes squinting, searching for some recognition in the mirror. "Fuck off.", a scoff fell from my lips, turning from the eyes that mimicked mine. The knob turned on the sink, water dripping adding to the sounds around, thunder rumbling over the apartment. "You talking to yourself?", a smug voice called, my fingers too busy rubbing the freezing water over the dark circles under my eyes, praying that the water would wash away some of the unfamiliarity. "Shut up, Ryan.", I was not in the mood to deal with the man, his pout the first thing my eyes picked up on as I looked back in the mirror. "You dreamt of him again, didn't you?", he asked, his voice was so concerned, it made me feel worse. "Yeah...", a bitter laugh left my lips, the real monster in my story was him.

  I felt his fingers trace over the scar on my temple, the one, he, had left behind. "You know you're safe now... right? I won't let anything happen to you.", as much as i wanted to believe his words, to trust my boyfriend of 3 years... something in my chest warned me of a possibility. He was a government agent, at least that was the last i heard of Leon S. Kennedy; he'd saved some girl from RPD that night. He was deemed a hero, despite the sins that he had committed, a justice for a death never gained. No body, no crime... that's what the government worker had told her. I'd tried to tell them everything, that I was kidnapped, that Leon had killed Mrs. Jones. They didn't care, there was no proof as by the time I had gotten the chance to speak to anyone, Raccoon City was already bombed to hell and back.

  "I know.", the truth was that I wasn't safe, I never was going to be unless I was nailed in that coffin, the only place he couldn't find me. Then again, I figured even if I had died that day, that Leon would somehow find my corpse just to add insult to injury. The stupid rookie-  I wished I'd never laid eyes on those blue orbs, that the summer blue skies didn't remind me of him, that I didn't fear being home alone... that I didn't think every blonde in a police uniform was him, that I didn't see him in people, I passed on the street. "I know.", my hand came up to hold onto his, my fingers around his wrist. "You'll protect me...", my tone was no more than a whisper, eyes closing, melting into the back of his fingers. As soon as my eyes closed, that face popped back up, the look he gave me as i felt my vision blacken. It's been 7 years, it's time to move on. Ryan deserved a girlfriend who didn't jump in fear every five seconds, or call him crying when she saw a blonde officer.

  "I love you, stop thinking about it. You're making it worse on yourself.", he cupped his hand around my cheek, finger-pads rough from his job as a crime scene investigator. "You're safe with me, he's still with the government agency and you're here... in your apartment with your loving boyfriend.", a deep chuckle left his lips. "A loving boyfriend who wants nothing more than to make his girlfriend relax.", his fingers toyed with my pajama pants string, twisting it between his fingers. "Will you let me do that, pretty girl?", his lips pressed into the crook of my neck. My nails dig slightly into his biceps, holding onto him as his tongue traced little designs into the skin. "Uh-huh.", i couldn't think of anything, i wanted to be distracted, to be lulled away from reality at the tips of his fingers. "Please-", my desperation was rewarded as I felt his fingers dig underneath my thighs, lifting me into his strong, steady arms. "Shhh...", his whisper was so calming, "turn that pretty head off, i can think for you.", he hummed, his lips next to my ear as he kissed the hook of it. His lips were so soft, always slick with chapstick, usually mine.

The thick head of his cock, buried, snug into me. His pants from above as his leg lifted, caging mine to the bed. A whimper, back arching off the bed as his tip prodded at the beginning of my cervix, his love was soft and kind. His lips sparing words of comfort and care as he bullied into me. His chest was slick with sweat, the cold air now stuffy from the breath shared between us. "You're mine... protect what's mine, sweet girl.", he grunted, his eyes closed tightly, black hair falling over his forehead, stuck to the pale skin with his sweat. "Won't let anyone hurt you-", the promise laced in swears, in moans of pleasure and solemn love. Tears probed the back of my eyes, stinging as the salty tears ran down my temples, gliding across the ragged skin of my scar. It wasn't obvious, my hair covered it most of the time, but to me... it was a permanent reminder of how stupid I use to be. I hope, somewhere along the way, I've changed.

"Stop thinking.", my thoughts are replaced by Ryan's words as i felt the band in my belly tighten, the rocking of his hips, his pubic bone grinding my clit perfectly. "Not- thinking-", my words were strained from my lips, teeth biting into the plump flesh, head back and toes curling as his cock hit the spongey, nerve filled spot that pushed me over the edge, more tears sliding across my heated skin. "There you go-", he moaned, his cock twitching, the fluttering of my walls pushing his climax to the tip, releasing his cum into me, the warmth filling up the thin area between us. Weak moms left his lips, his breath mingling with my pants as he pressed his forehead to mine."Good girl.", his hand brushed back my hair, my eyes catching his green ones. "fuck-!", he whined, sliding his softening cock from my folds, hissing at the sensitivity of his body.

  "I have to get ready for work and so do you, my pretty.", his lips press a kiss into my collar, his nose bumping my shoulder as he presses his warm lips to the flesh. "Don't remind me~", my tone whiny, yet playful as he laughs, his clear voice. His body like a fresh winters day. He was the opposite of the warm boy I once thought I loved... my love falling from boiling water to a crisp ice bath, shocking me. "You gotta-", he reached down to swipe his pants up. "How else are those drunks gonna get their fill of cheap booze?", a grumble left my lips, rolling my eyes at the thigh of a few angry drunks muttering about their drinks taking a little longer to pour than usual. "I think they'd survive.", a mutter from my lips, eyes catching his as he laughed, knowing my annoyed look was one that would soon fall into a plead for him to say. "Look, i'll take you out, some place nice and expensive. How about Bella's?", my interest was peaked, "As long as we get that-", "Red wine, you love so much?", he pointed his fingers in a finger gun motion at me, his nerdy personality something I didn't know I needed. "You got yourself a deal.", my eyes watch as he tucks in his button up, his eyes searching for his glasses as he slides them across the bride of his nose. "I'll be back at 5, okay?", his uniform make him look like some... TV show character. Like he was from my favorite crime show, my smile fell... I hadn't watched it since that night with Leon.

"Quit thinking about it. Fancy dinner and drunks are all you should be thinking about.", his lips pressed to my cheek, brightening my expression with a simple gesture. "Be careful driving to work, the roads are slick.", I called out, watching him walk through the bedroom door. "Always am, you better be careful too. That damn Maxima is nearly on its last legs.", my lips parted in a drop, "Don't talk bad about my car!", his laughter was all i heard before the front door shut, leaving me to my thoughts once more. That's all I had left from Raccoon City, the government agent sent me off $500 and my car, telling me to start over somewhere new, that Leon had agreed to work with them and that I'd be on my own. That's what lead me here... to the rainy city. It was similar to Raccoon City, maybe I craved that familiarity.

  Then again this was suppose to be a new start, which is why I'd gave up the coroner's assistant job, instead becoming a bartender at a local bar called White Wolf Lodge, it was a hotel and bar. Somewhere for truck drivers to relax their few off days, getting to stretch their legs and have a bed for the night, some to lace to rest their beer bellies. I wanted to go back to the assistant job eventually, but it's like I'd seen enough death for my life time.

  My uniform shirt was tight, my tits nearly falling over the front of it, my push up bra doing what it was mad to. Keeping those babies up and perky. The black shirt supported a white wolf howling on the back and a 'White Wolf Lodge' embroidered patch on the front. My jeans were simple, bedazzled and hip hugging, showing off for tips wasn't my favorite thing to do but money was tight in one of the most expensive cities in the US. I needed all the tips i could get. My arms covered my hair as I ran out to the white Maxima, nearly slipping on the pavement. "Come on, Come on...", the buttons on the fob has started to give out, the car was nearly on its last leg but that didn't mean that i was going to let it go any time soon. Rain pelted down, lightening causing me to jump as the door finally unlocked. "Shit!", my fingers fumbled the door handle as i jumped in.

 

  My head hit the head rest, eyes rolling as the thunder shook through vehicle. Let's just get through today. Just make sure the customers are happy and the bar stays clean. My fingers slip past the seat belt, hearing the click as it safely secures. My fingers curl over the steering wheel that now bore some rips in it. Eyes catch the rear view mirror, always expecting to see a green jeep parked behind me. A silent wave of relief follows after realizing that indeed there is no jeep, no looming threat.

———

  "Hey! I thought you were off today?", Marina spoke up, her green eyes bright as she leans over the bar counter. "Sadly, not.", my lips curl into a slight smile. Of everyone I've met since moving here, Marina was the one that i got to call my best friend. Her black hair resting under her shoulders and her sparking green eyes always a sight for sore eyes. "Well, at least we're working together tonight, you could've gotten stuck with T.", she raised her brow, a smirk on her lips as he propped up with her elbows. At the mention of T, my mood sours, my brows dropping as I deadpan at her. "Yeah. Fair enough.", my bag is plopped down under the bar, my body resting against the bar with her, elbows bumping as I lay my head on her shoulder.

"I'm glad, i'm here with you.", I sighed, her shoulder tensed. "You've got that tone, you're thinking about that guy again, aren't you?", her tone was accusatory, but concerned. I had told her about Leon before, that he was a psycho sweet heart in a drunk hangout at her place. "Yeah, it's like he's a damn ghost.", I scoffed, my legs bending to crouch under the bar. "Not like i want to dream about the day i got my head split open.", my finger toyed the scar on my temple. "Plus, i just think it's because it's closing in on the day i got moved-", I hadn't told anyone about the dead eating the living, about the monsters that prowled the streets. It was too much for my brain to handle, i wouldn't scar anyone else with the thoughts and images.

  "Maybe so... what's it called?", she kept staring at the patrons, waiting for someone to need another refill or some god awful bar snacks. "Anniversary Reactions, i think is what my therapist told me.", her body quickly turned towards mine, her eyes settled on the tip of my head, i could hear the cogs in her brain turning as she stood in silence. "Go ahead.", I knew where this was going. Why don't you, "see a therapist?", her voice cut in. "Because i'm fine, he's far away doing god knows what and i'm working at this shit hole with you.", a dopey smile crossing my lips, eyes fluttering up to hers. "I think you'd benefit from it.", her tone was serious and i knew she meant it. She'd hounded me for months after i confessed my past to her. "Please, just try it once if you hate it, you don't have to go back.", she used that same line to try and convince me.

  "Moonpie-", the nickname that i made for the bubbly girl, "I'll be okay. I'm doing better, like you said... anniversary reactions.", I was tired of reliving the day nearly daily, my fingers wrapping around a rag as i grabbed a bottle of cleaner, spraying down the empty end of the bar. "I just worry about you. You look like you haven't slept in weeks.", her voice was so small, I nearly felt bad for lying. "I've been sleeping, I've been feeling better than I have in a long time... let me have this.", my eyes meeting hers, whispering the words to her, head over my shoulder to gaze at her as I lean on the counter, wiping the bubbly cleaner. "Yeah... okay.", she wasn't giving up, but she was giving me this and it's all I could ask her. I just wanted to get through today, go to the dinner with Ryan and have a nice day tomorrow.

  "Also, i meant to say-", Marina spoke up once more, her hands busy straightening the back bar, the bottles clicking over the soft rock music and atmospheric mumbling of people talking. "there's this guy, he asked about you, said he knew you and that you two use to date?", her eyes fell on me. "He asked for me by name? That's... really odd. I only had one ex.", my head tilted, eyes narrowing as i tried to think of any body would say that, but some regulars liked to say i was their girl, shit like that. I just assumed it was that. "Yeah, he's handsome. I think he's still here somewhere.", she moved to stand next to me, my head twisting to look out over the tables. "He's...", she scouted the area, finger to her chin as she moved from side to side.

  As she scoped out the area, I decided to try and straighten up, making it look like we weren't just talking, our manager hated when we talked and stood around for too long. "He ordered a whiskey on the rocks and asked if I'd leave the bottle.", she mumbled, trying to spot him. "Did you?", my eyes lingered on her, picking up glasses with my fingers as I picked up them up, walking towards the kitchen window. "Yeah.", she shrugged, "Didn't see why i shouldn't.", she hummed, her lips parting as she grabbed my arm, nearly making the glasses slip from my grip as i was yanked closer to her. "There he is!", she pointed, her slender, manicured finger pointing at a guy with his head down. A half empty bottle of Jack Daniel's laid in front of him. "Him?", my brain wracked itself to try and place the darker hair and tan skin. His leather jacket hiding his build and his head hanging, hiding his features. "Yeah, sorry, no idea who that-", as I spoke, his head raised, my lips stopping, the next words dying on my lips.

A bright blue sky, a raging ocean, not a single cloud in the skies of his eyes. A clashing sound met my ears but I couldn't place where it came from until the lessened weight of my hands finally registered, the crunch of glass under my shoes ringing in my ears as I stepped back. The taste of acid once more meeting my taste buds, he couldn't be... it wasn't true. I saw him all the time, i'm passing strangers and blonde officers- this was one of those moments. Was I losing my mind? Was this real or was my mind's eye once more throwing me into a relived memory? My heart dropped once his lips curled into a knowing smirk, his hand raising the ombré glass up in a 'cheers', his blue eyes lit up with amusement. He chuckled, I couldn't hear it, i could just see his shoulders shake.

  "Hey, what's wrong?", Marina's fingers dug into my shoulders as I didn't respond. "Hey-!", she shook me, her hands rocking me as she moved her face to block my sight of the man. "Are you okay?!", she was near hysterical but so was I. "Yeah-", I squeaked, it had to be him. It had to be, I couldn't be this crazy. "I just... i need a minute, okay?", my hands fell to her shoulders, she nodded, but her brows were furrowed, watching me walk away. The glass crunching with each step as I reached for my bag, immediately calling Ryan as i felt a sob fall from my lips. He was back. I wasn't safe anymore and he had seen me, asked for me... that coffin looked more and more comfortable. The one place he couldn't find me.

[babyrdie]

Hermes and divine horned babies

If I had a nickel for every time there was a myth involving Hermes with a divine horned baby, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

I was supposed to be finishing my Artemis and Apollo WIP, which has been incomplete for days, but here I am with another Hermes. I think I'm going to have to draw Hermes again because twice I chose the worst possible framing and pose for him, because in this position 1) chlamys covers him a lot 2) his arm covers too much chlamys

Moving on! I had drawn this Hermes with Dionysus before (I posted it yesterday, more specifically), but I took the opportunity to be inspired by the Hymn to Pan. When I read it months ago, I thought it was cute how Hermes, upon seeing Pan, didn't feel at all bothered by his unusual appearance and was happy to see him. He picked him up and took him to Olympus and the gods were happy, especially Dionysus (who, by the way, is a deity often associated with satyrs). So, besides the similarity of being Hermes and a divine horned baby, putting this drawing of Dionysus back here for the connection between him and Pan as well.

Yes…I've been training how to draw babies because I had never drawn one before Achilles. How did you find out?! Certainly not because I have already drawn Thetis with baby Achilles, Hermes with baby Dionysus, now Hermes and Pan and I am still considering drawing Apollo with baby Hermes.

Pan's design is a bit of an obvious thing, I guess? In his Hynm it says that he was already somewhat "developed" in terms of fur and had goat-like characteristics, so that's what I did. A bearded baby. But it also said he was a happy, noisy baby, so he's giggly instead of the calmer face I did in Achilles and Dionysus.

As for my Hermes, in the drawing with Dionysus he's normal, but in the drawing with Pan you can notice that his face is a little strange because he's actively making an expression instead of just existing. Like, not blatantly weird, but his eyes don't quite follow the change in expression right? As incredible as it may seem, it's supposed to be strange. I swear this time it wasn't exclusively the fault of my serious problem making expressions in digital drawing!

I wanted him to look a little unnerving, the kind that gave off a slightly untrustworthy air, like a nod to Hermes' association with cunning. That's why I decided to make his petaso shadow his face, I chose facial features that gave him a more "mischievous" look and I drew eyes that, regardless of his expression, still looked a little strange. In short: I wanted him to have an appearance that, when he smiled, seemed a bit artificial to give him an air of untrustworthiness. Also, about the tooth gap visible now that I made him smile, this was intended to resemble a hare since it's one of the animals associated with Hermes.

[justablah56]

TJ anon here again. It is the middle of the night and I have to be up in 3 hours, so of course that makes it the perfect time to share some more headcanons. I'm glad you like them so much because I have a whole extended universe in between seasons 1 and 2 that exists for no one other than me. This time, it's the s2 spouses edition!Of the spouses, Rebecca has known the kiddads the longest. She was at their middle school, and befriended them a year or two after Faerûne. I think that she came from a very conservative family, and the kiddads are all pretty squarely not that, and since girlie hadn't developed her critical thinking skills yet she just decided that centrism was a good way to negate her confusion and internal conflict. I also think she was a cheerleader! Normal really does take after her. She knows that Nicky is a demon, having seen and pieced together a few things, but no one knows this because she told Terry Jr that she knew and he asked her not to tell Nicky, because this was in the middle of Morgan and Jodie's divorce and he was super stressed out, and then they both just forgot that she knew that and that that would be a suprise to everyone else. She's also well aware that something Weird™ is going on with these four families (there is no reason why the great axe in the Wilson family hallway has permanent changing "fake" blood splatters, or why any injuries the kiddads have seen to vanish after they visit the Oak-Garcias) and has ultimately decided that she's just not going to question it. She has a vegan ice cream company to run, and if her friends happen to have very specific arcane knowledge, well they must just be hyperfixated on a niche fantasy IP. Or maybe wizards. One of the two, maybe both. It can always be both.Cassandra and Marco both met the kiddads at college. I've already mentioned how Cassandra and Terry Jr met (theatre classes), and then Terry Jr slowly integrated her into the group. Marco and Grant shared a subject in first year (in my head it's psychology for some reason) and Grant fell FAST. Marco actually met the rest of the group because they would not stop teasing Grant about his crush, and thus took every opportunity to show up and be weird in front of him to embarrass Grant (and subtly sus out if he can handle being around them). Once, at a New Years party, Marco got absolutely wasted and kissed Terry Jr, thinking he was Grant, at midnight and then promptly passed out on the stairs. Terry and Lark (the designated driver) were the only ones sober enough to remember this, but Lark filmed it on his phone and they played it and Grant and Marco's wedding reception. The best part is that Grant and Marco weren't even together yet, and it took them another 5 months to start dating.Cassandra has sent someone to the emergency room with a pool cue before. No one knows how. A group of physics and med students sat down to try and work out what exactly she did, and gave up after a few months. The kid was fine, but Cassandra payed his hospital bills anyway. Being the campus cryptid for a while is still her proudest moment.Veronica meet Terry Jr at the dance classes he helps teach. Scary, then Terry/Terri, had a long soccer practice on Saturdays so she decided to go out and meet some new people. They got chatting, found they had a lot in common, started sending memes to each other, and things just grew from there. Terry's boss would pair them up for demonstrations suspiciously often, which might have helped.When the other spouses meet her, they are going to adopt her into their friendship group immediately. When you're married to people as bizarre as the kiddads are, you form your own little support group of comparatively normal people, to remind yourself that you aren't crazy but also you are.

ok first off sorry this took me a couple days to get to , I was out of town lmao- bUT AHQHJDJSKSKS ALL OF THIS IS SO SPECIAL TO MEEEEE I love cass and her low-key chaotic energy sbndnsndn she's so <333 aND MARCO KISSING TERRY THINKING HE WAS GRANT QBSNNWKSM I love them so fuckign much , your honor <33. and Rebecca just being like eeehhhh I guess they're just kinda weird ok . and just . choosing not to be curious abt it LMAO like . she just knows so much shit and is just so casual abt it sbjsjsnsm like yeah no that guys a demon and I'm p sure at least one of my bfs friends kills . something . that's probably fine . anyways time to go make some ice cream . dbjsnsm but just ahhh all of the kiddads testing everyone's partners to make sure they're a good fit 🥺🥺 they're so <3333

[autisticlalna]

Legundo's Hardcore S2 - Lore Books

a while ago i rummaged around legundo's s2 world download on call with some friends and took screenshots of all the lore books i found! if you're not able to download and play the world yourself, or need to quickly cross-check stuff, here's screenshots and transcriptions of all of them!

Welcome! by Legundo

Welcome to the Hardcore S2 World Download This world is mostly untouched from when I died on day 2336, with a few exceptions. Several Command Blocks & Books exist on the world to share lore & video links. Videos are BTS, non-canon videos about the builds and the story they were designed to tell. Books and other secrets are a part of the Multiverse saga. ALL written books not created by "Legundo" were added after my death as a part of the story. This world is now yours, to tell new stories in. I know it took a while to make this available, it might have already been forgotten by the time I did, but that's life sometimes. Thank you for making my life so very special. Be good to each other. - Legs

(rest under the cut! man it's been a while since i've gotten to do minecraft lore book transcripts. i love doing these. give me excuses to do this more please)

Alterans 1 by The Alterans

We had hoped by bringing him here he would be beyond Decem's reach. The Architect, or the Traveler as those who still reside on that plane call him, cannot be allowed to return - nor can he be allowed to die. We must constantly play this game of chess, but I fear we are rapidly running out of pieces to play. Since our home is no longer safe - we shall send him to those who previously we could not trust, a place corrupted that we dared not go. Necessity begets suspension of whatever fears we have left. We cannot afford another failing, if only we could change the rules of the game.

Alterans 2 by The Alterans

You probably wonder why we operate in such convoluted ways. I sometimes wonder about that myself. Faced with an impossible problem to solve, a scourge across the multiverse - we had exhausted every option save for the ridiculous, and by some miracle that is all that is keeping us from oblivion. He cannot know from whence he came, he cannot know his origin. We left him his name- a risk I advocated against, but it has led to his distraction and fewer questions to worry to conjure the answers for. Our diviners were right, once again. If only they could have seen the end before it was too late.

Alterans 3 by The Alterans

What are we save for the product of all our experiences? Can you change what a person values by reminding them of things they once discarded? Can entropy be negotiated with? We can only hope.

History by the Historian

History is a fickle thing. Many think it objective, a record of events as they were, but that is never the case. No, history is a clay molded by those in power, and my will exerts across the entire multiverse. I found him, ME. I was the one to scour the history of multitudes for the anomaly, for evidence of our fallen self. They bicker and lash out in fleeting gestures as I wait for the opportune moment. History can be written far before the ink meets the page. If you have come here, then you see our words, you know our intent and our goals. We crave unity, we wish to share our gifts. Do not trust the Alterans, they wish to hide this power from you. Only we share the ultimate truth, that truth can be whatever you wish. In your world, have you yet to find us?

[fountainpenguin]

If you were given the opportunity to reboot FOP from the ground up, what would you change, shake up, or put your own spin on?

I'll have to give this a short answer, I no joke spent over 2 hours replying to this, then added a Read More and Tumblr told me that my post was too out of this world and it broke the editor. It kicked me out in a split second without any opportunity to save. Sorry to everyone who has to scroll past my stuff in the future, but I'm not living through this again. Read Mores have no place on my blog.

I'm furious because 1) I tried to copy-paste out of this editor like I always do and save in an external place, but the new editor is busted and only copies one paragraph when you do CTRL-A so I gave up, and 2) literally the last sentence I wrote before typing that was "Before my hiatus, Read Mores broke stuff, but I'm willing to give this another try." It's not even the same error it used to be. I can't. I can't.

At least we're friends and I think you know a lot of my thoughts anyway. Sorry it took so long to write an answer to this message, but I've already let it sit for so long that I HAVE to get it out of my inbox now or I'll never go back to it after losing everything :/ I can't believe that just happened. How ironic that one of the main reasons I went on hiatus was because stuff kept breaking and then it's worse when I return. Bleh.

So... Here's the short version of things I can remember talking about:

Update world lore, especially regarding Anti-Fairies. Anti-Fairies debuted in Season 2 and didn't reappear until Season 5; Anti-Fairy World itself made its first appearance in Season 6 because the Anti-Fairies were only seen in jail before that. Anti-Fairy World is kind of barren and stereotypical, and the general vibe of Anti-Fairies is that they are all evil because their magic revolves around bad luck. I'd prefer some gray area. I also feel like the characterizations for Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda were rushed and we should say it.

Logically I know that Anti-Wanda can be said to parallel Wanda's high-class mafia upbringing, but I doubt that was planned since Wanda's family only showed up in Season 5. In another universe, we could have had a classy evil queen. I love the grubby gal, but there are so many cool aesthetics she could have had instead. The Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda vibe doesn't bring anything to the table that Cosmo and Wanda didn't already have unless you take creative liberties.

Maps. Maps would have been great.

Designs. Cosmo, Crocker, and Dad really don't need the same shirt. Wanda's outfit is pretty bland too, and it's honestly a shame that Anti-Cosmo got a unique outfit but Anti-Wanda's is just a recolor of Wanda's. See also, classy queen.

Also I've never liked Timmy's Channel Chasers adult design; I just don't think it's in character. I feel like his body type would be much closer to his parents, and the existing one is just too extreme for my preferences. Doesn't say "Timmy the average kid" to me.

"Fairly Odd Baby" - As much as I enjoy the idea of Fairies placing a ban on babies because they're destructive and Fairy World likes to push away its problems, I'd have introduced Poof as part of an announcement that Cosmo and Wanda had been expecting a baby for 100 to 1000 years. Their lifespans are so long, it wouldn't be out of the question. A reveal episode could have been fun.

I also don't think I would have chosen to leave Poof a baby who can't speak for that long; I think he has a fun personality (Sasses Foop, deliberately puts Foop in harm's way, but also he's super chill and nice and likes sports) and I would have liked to see more episodes where he talks. I don't love how he was shipped to boarding school as soon as he was able to talk and dialogue was needed.

Vicky takes Mark back onscreen. She canonically decided she wanted to start dating him again, after she found out he was an alien and she broke up with him. She made the choice to take back her alien boyfriend and she loves him and we should talk about it. I'm obsessed with them and will forever treasure the deleted "Foul Balled" scene of them holding hands at the senior home while Mark is in his squid form. I support Vicky becoming the shapeshifting queen of a violent planet and being extremely in love with her squid husband.

Chloe / A.J. friendship. A.J. ended world hunger in Season 2 and he built a time machine a few seasons later, I feel like those two would have really hit it off.

More episodes of Timmy playing soccer. I will not re-elaborate.

More of side characters I love, like Molly and Kevin. I love them. I love Kevin falling farther and farther behind his uncle when they walk together, I love Timmy introducing himself to Molly's fairy by shaking her hand... They might be side characters but I feel like they add a lot more to the world and character dynamics in their few scenes than many of the characters do.

Sharing fairies. Timmy sharing fairies with Chloe (or Kevin) as part of a temporary program (like she was just here for one school year before her parents moved again). I think one of the issues people have with Chloe is that it feels like she's here for the rest of Timmy's fairy-related life, and I think a few months of hanging out with her would have been plenty and then there would have been a reason for her to leave the canon afterwards.

Make Chloe Dinkleberg's niece. My favorite headcanon. Also a perfect explanation for why Chloe's family would move to Timmy's street. Also a hilarious parallel of Timmy seething with frustration at his "perfect" neighbor despite spending the entire series making fun of his dad for doing the same thing.

More Timmy/Chloe "step-sibling" interactions. I support Timmy "I will sit with you while you have an hour-long panic attack" Turner in "The Booby Trap" but I cannot emphasize enough that I equally support Timmy "Will take a call from Chloe, listen to her explain that she vaporized a juice box, then hang up and go to bed" Turner. They are step-siblings...

Timmy, Chloe, and Kevin. I support Timmy - Chloe - Kevin trio interactions in general. They're a comedic trio and I want them to support each other.

Gary and Betty. Unironically, we need to talk more about Gary and Betty canonically being aware of the magical world. Or at least they adjusted really fast to being teleported from California to Florida and back again. Also we should talk about that time Gary rang Sanderson on his cell phone, which gets funnier the longer you think about it. Also I love them and we should talk about the deleted "Totally Spaced Out" scene where they tried to flee to Mexico together.

Ending the series with a proper send-off. I'm not a fan of Timmy keeping his magical memories after losing Cosmo and Wanda. Being the protagonist doesn't make him immune. I feel like there are so many ways this could have been done in a sentimental way that people would have loved... I'm sad we didn't get a proper send-off.

On the list of things we don't need to change - Imaginary Gary, Norm, Mark, Molly, Jorgen, the Pixies, Flappy Bob, Foop, and Ed Leadly. They are flawless, 10 of 10. We also do not need to change Chloe casually swearing, but meanwhile Timmy will call you out for saying "Moron" on the radio, and we definitely don't need to change "This isn't a fancy French restaurant- this is a black hole!"

I love the Pixies. If they didn't exist, I would have come along and prepped some worldbuilding about characters who maintain magical paperwork. I love my snarky monotone wasp boys.

Also I just want to shout-out Chloe and Kevin and their personalities being hilarious. I think there are several Chloe-centric episodes that have flawed storytelling, but I do genuinely enjoy the character you're left with after brushing off some of her exaggerated perfectionism.

Kevin has some of the best dialogue in the entire series, and those two just seem to write themselves when you pit them together. I like the mental image of Chloe venting to Timmy about how unfair it is that Crocker shows him favoritism and then it slowly dawns on her that she also has a history of getting a lot of favoritism.

Thanks for the ask! I'm sad I lost the full responses, but I think I've learned my lesson and will draft in an external doc first. Please learn from my mistakes, I will not take back my venting >:(

Even if I lost it, it's nice to take some time and think about some answers to these things. I'm also pretty satisfied that I was able to make this post long enough to feel like a good answer. Yay.

[sudriantraveler]

The Engines of the Cronk & Harwick Railway

This is a continuation of a previous post in which I gave a basic overview of my rather silly headcanon for the Cronk & Harwick Railway (or as they're frequently refered to The Old Crooked and Horrible), a railway which is briefly mentioned in the IOS Book and appears on a few RWS maps.

This post is about the fleet of engines which run this obscure, backwater, and largely illegal railway.

No.1 - Queen Anne:

The C&H’s first engine has been through several changes over the years. She was originally built as a box tank for the Sodor and Mainland Railway. When first acquired by the C&H in 1900 she was given the name ‘Queen Anne’ by the line's owner. She was immediately set to work, despite being in poor condition from her previous working life on the S&M, but managed to keep going without any major repairs for about 10 years. By 1910 however, she was completely worn out. Instead of sending her off to an actual railway workshop however, the C&H decided they could do the necessary repairs in-house. While she was being repaired, the railway also took the opportunity to make some modifications, and Queen Anne emerged with a set of trailing wheels as well as a cab. It is, however, made of wood, and is said to leak so much that crews wonder why the railway even bothered.

During World War II Queen Anne was stored in an abandoned mineshaft along with the rest of the C&H’s fleet. After the war, she emerged from the mine with yet another change to her design. Her old box tank had completely rusted through and had been replaced with a more conventional saddle tank crudely bolted in its place. Where the railway got this saddle tank from is unknown, though Crovan’s Gate Works reported sometime during the war that one of their spare tanks for NWR number 6 ‘Percy’ had gone missing. There was an interesting continuation of this mystery a few years after the war, when the NWR’s Chief Engineer walked into the works one morning to find a rusty old box tank tucked amongst Percy’s spare parts. Needless to say, Percy was not at all happy about the suggestion, but the big engines laughed about it for a whole week!

Below is a sketch of Queen Anne in her post war form:

No.2 - Surprise:

By 1909 Queen Anne was quickly becoming worn out, and would shortly be going for overhaul in 1910. Another engine was needed quickly. The owner of the C&H had an idea. Taking inspiration from the Coffee Pots then being built for the TK&ELR, he decided to build his own engine right there in Harwick. 

Salvaging a vertical boiler from an old riverboat, as well as several parts from various unknown sources (given this guy's track record this engine is almost certainly at least 90% stolen), he assembled a rather unusual engine. The engine was named ‘Surprise’ as in, it’s a surprise whenever he’s actually functioning properly! From the start Surprise was beset with mechanical and steaming issues, but the need for another engine saw him put to work anyway, and within a year a rather unorthodox workaround had been found for his reliability issues. A mast and sail was fitted as an alternative means of propulsion! Amazingly this worked, and Surprise has kept this addition ever since, using his steam for shunting and for starting heavy trains, and then gliding along the line by sail.

This is not always ideal, especially along the ballaswein branch which operates as a tramway for much of its length. Many a motorist and pedestrians have been forced to swerve or leap out of the way at the last second, as a train under power of sail has crept silently up behind them with little warning until it is nearly too late (Huh… I guess the name ‘Surprise’ is quite fitting in that regard as well)!

Below is a sketch of Surprise:

Railmotor No.1 Units A&B - Chitty and Bang:

The C&H has provided a passenger service since the switch to steam power in 1900, when a handful of old S&M 4 wheeled coaches had accompanied the purchase of Queen Anne. This had never really been satisfactory however. The coaches were by all accounts already falling apart before they had even arrived, and the C&H had a reputation of sparing every expense when it came to the upkeep of… well, pretty much everything. Nothing was done about the matter however, for several years, despite repeated requests, complaints, riots and death threats from passengers. 

At last, after the rotting coaches and their bare board seats gave passengers one too many splinters where the sun don’t shine, the passengers rallied together, demanding the railway provide a better service for their paying customers! 

So one late night break-in to a scrapyard later the C&H had acquired a pair of broken old buses, which they soon set about converting into railmotors as their newest passenger stock. As an additional modification they were also fitted with roof-top storage racks for carrying a light amount of goods and supplies.

The brother and sister pair of railmotors were named ‘Chitty’ and ‘Bang’, and they are… admittedly not much of an improvement over the old carriages… in fact in some ways they’re kind of a downgrade… but at least the seats have cushions now, and coupled back-to-back (as neither has a reverse gear) Chitty and Bang continue to be the mainstay of the C&H’s passenger service.

Below is a sketch of Chitty and Bang:

And that's all for now. As you can see, the C&H's fleet is a rather unusual bunch, in keeping with the ramshackle nature of the railway as a whole. But just as every ship needs a good crew to stay afloat, so to does a railway need a good fleet of engines, so I guess The Old Crooked and Horrible must be doing something right to still be around!

[dyllpiccle]

Tell us about the blorbos from your mind! Wich one is your favorite? The one you had the longest? Favorite design??

ALRIGHTLY LETS KNOCK THESE OUT IN ORDER TEEHEE

Long post sorry <3

1. Favorite blorbo:

I can’t answer this I’ll feel bad. But I will tell you who I’m currently obsessed with who is my little scrimble insane scientist Mr Julian Romero. I made him for my friends superhero rp and basically he created a chemical that absolutely changed the world and made it so everyone can have superpowers at will but his lab partner and gay boyfriend??? Kinda. STOLE it from him and took the credit.

So he became evil and now he seeks to tear everything down and also is super fucked up and bioshock style DIYs his superpowers at will here he is. Hiiiiii Julian.

Blorbo I’ve had the longest:

Alright this ones a little complicated cause I am not CERTAIN. Like it depends how we’re defining this. Cause longest consistent use? I’d say my dnd oc Ferrer since I’ve been consistently using him for like 4 years now, but like I guess longest that I’ve had NOW without dropping it would be Amar because I literally just revived him to use him in the above mentioned rp.

So I made Amar in like 9th grade as a little plot of goofy teenage superhero’s, but I since have done a nitty gritty reboot of him for adult reasons so uhh tw for drug use/addiction mostly.

SO BASICALLY amars story is he was raised in an orphanage, which was fine, but got sucked into a bad crowd in the punk scene and eventually got heavily dependent on like. Heavy substance use. Uh one night after a party he got himself a cab to go crash in his little ‘house’ (he’s homeless but he had a Spot so he was headed there), and the cab got absolutely t-boned BAD by a truck. Unbeknownst to him some superhuman chemicals got into his stuff earlier and he basically died in the crash except he Can’t Die so he’s in this weird dead not dead space. He didn’t realize this was the case until he was getting the shit kicked out of him in a dive bar bathroom. I love him he’s so funny and lovely. His only superpower is that he Can’t Die other than that he has normal guy abilities and hits bad guys with pipes. He’s doin a little better since then if ur worried he may be dead but he’s clean mostly and living in a group home type dealio.

If you wanna hear more about him I have his backstory written in more detail on a doc but this will suffice for this ask, here is is <<3

Favorite design blorbo:

Ok so I kinda covered this when going over the other ask with favorite blorbo and why questions but I’ll dive more into WHY I like his design. I present once again Mr Harysin!

So this guys gonna get highlighted cause I have put so much work and effort into the way I dress this man.

The main features of his outfits that I nailed down straight away is a very high waisted look, very tight and movable, but stylish. I mostly based it off matador silhouettes and you can see I was playing with like ceremonial militaristic dress like with those pauldron sketches? Anyways shape, places of flare and hang and angles is super important and has always been super important for this guy. With his outfit iterations it always keeps the same staple things like skin showing in the same place, but gets sharper and rounded or darker depending on where he is In his arc. Over time he’s been leaning further into a red and black palette and his angles have been gettin sharper to reflect the way his character is progressing rn (poorly but also? Kinda good for him), and I also absolutely fucked around with the symbolism in his gloves which I could and have written an essay on but I feel like it’s too much to analyze here. But I will just take this opportunity to say that the amount of intention I put in this guys design?? Is crazy and insane and you should look at it cause I’m very proud <3 also he’s sexy.

Anyways I love answering ur guys asks you can literally ask me anything anytime <3

[xtrablak674]

I am a Low Key Nerd and Naturalist

Nerd is so passé, I prefer 'complex human being'. But what I do know is, I am not apologizing to anyone for anything I wish to post. I ain't got no kids, and my parents is long dead. Last I checked ain't a single person paying one bill up in this house except me, I have no one to be beholden to regarding my activities.

Generally speaking I like to stay away from including nudes on this particular blog since I have posted more than enough of that other places on the internet. But, I feel no need to pretend that if I am going to get the opportunity I am going to celebrate my work before anything else.

Meaning I am mildly excited about iPad iOs 17, which in all actuality only has like really five cool updates, but one of them that I am not sure if its been on the phone for a minute or not, is the changing lock screens.

On my early 2008 Macbook Pro I had my desktop changing like every ten seconds with a bunch of photos from my porn archive which I had on an external drive. I always love to have an electronic device with some changing element. Traditionally on my tablets, and this is my third, I utilize my abstract work as lock and home screens. Usually two different images that will be unique to that specific device.

This Os update now allows me to indulge myself and my body dysmorphia, or put a more public face on my tablet. Albeit I plan on never leaving the house after that damn flu I caught on my daily walks, I think the public face for my tablet will be rarely used.

Another feature which is solely a personal fav is the ability to run more than one timer at a time. Sometimes I am washing something and want it to soak for four hours and during this time I may order some food and need to set a ten minute timer so I can perfectly time getting dressed for the delivery person. Now I can do that!

I also love how they show the countdown on the lock screen. I am going to be honest since I don't have a phone the lock screen was never a big thing to be, but with the tweaks to the clock and the widgets Apple is making it a more welcome place for a bit more creativity and self expression.

I love how they took into consideration the vertical and horizontal orientation that tablet user utilize and made sure the screens could be formatted to the orientation of the device, it took me playing on my second tablet to find the fully tweaks, but I enjoyed the intuitiveness in the design.

Eighteen page PDF, I read the whole thing about all the new features, so many things I don't use like the health app, air pods, Safari, FaceTime or rarely use if at all. I did try out the new iMessage tricks and tried out the new tool bar they have changed out the old one for.

I love how we can do voice notes that are sent with transcriptions. It makes the audio a bit more permanent, since I am sure the transcript can be copied and pasted. But I enjoy sharing my voice with folks so they can get all the nuance of exactly what I am saying and most importantly HOW I am saying it.

Technology and me have always been friends but I think it wise to use it smartly and don't overdo it. My twenty-seven year old nephew has a Macbook Air, AirPods, Apple Watch, iPhone, and iPad. I told the nigga straight up he needs to buy some stock in Apple with him putting so much money in their pocket! #ForRealThough

I have only had like five computers and three tablets:

Mac SE (91 - 97 | returned to Campi)

Apple Powerbook 5300 (96 - 97 | recalled by Apple)

Apple Powerbook 1400c (97 - 01 | still have)

iMac G3 (02 - 09 | lent to Techu, never returned)

Macbook Pro (08 to present)

Tablets

iPad - 16 GB (2008 to present)

iPad Pro - 256 GB (2019 to present)

iPad Pro - 1 TB (2022 to present)

Currently I still use two of my tablets, and now that I have deleted a lot of data I can use my Macbook Pro to take trips down memory lane in the form of old photos, designs, videos and memories. I am a bougie bitch and primarily only deal with Apple. I could have bought a new laptop but my iPad Pro especially with the Apple Magic Keyboard really has all the computing power I need for my current needs.

I did win a FreePC through that advertising scheme years ago, where they gave away "free" Windows computers that had very heavy advertising on them. Anyway my yoga was shot today because I spent the morning on my laptop then got caught up in iOs 17 and that was all she wrote.

Today is supposed to be my regularly scheduled program day and I only got through two episodes of Killing Eve. Anyhow let me attempt to watch my shows, albeit I am excited I have a new distraction that is creating great content for my mini-blog and allowing me to reconnect with some folks who I am sharing what I find.

[Screenshots by Brown Estate]

[dzpenumbra]

6/1/23

I think I can safely say that today sucked. I was woken up 1 hour after I fell asleep to a phone call from a family friend. The dude lives probably 20-30 minutes away and has a history in art. We were last supposed to link up... I think in February or March? And I told him then that afternoons and evenings work for me. Like... I always make a point to specify that.

So, I woke up and immediately rolled over and went back to sleep, then woke up to another call 2 hours later. I listened to the original voicemail. He was heading through my city and... wanted to see if I wanted to go with him? To another town upstate? And didn't even tell me what he was doing there... And he called at 8AM, with no advanced notice. And I barely know the guy.

Engaging the voicemail with my brain made me fully awake, yet exhausted. That horrible feeling. I put the box fan on and... still couldn't get back to sleep for at least another hour. I took the opportunity to finish the Amazon order. Fuck it, right?

Eventually, I got up. I ate some food, that usually helps me fall asleep. Then I went to the comfy chair and got myself to pass out for another hour and a half. And... I've been up since then.

I even did yoga, and a small workout. I got a pizza delivered so I didn't have to worry about food. But... I never made coffee all day. My whole rhythm was thrown off all day. And it's been pretty hot all day too.

So I've been enduring most of the day with this nasty headache, and I've been really hot, and even a little nauseous for bits of it. It's been really rough.

I can't keep living like this. I swear, it's just one little thing and it just --- ugh. I don't even feel like catastrophizing. I don't even have the energy.

It's early (for me). It's 1:45. I've been nodding off for the past 4+ hours. Now, I'm gonna make sure I get to bed at a somewhat decent time. And I'm going to pray that I can actually sleep in the heat. Apparently it's supposed to get into the 90's tomorrow.

I did the test beads too. Not the spray part though, but I finished designing them and Mod Podge'd two of them. The other two I'm just going to spray without Mod Podge just to see the difference.

So yeah, the rest of the thoughts I have rattling around in my head are just... catastrophizing and lamenting, and... again... I just don't have the energy for that. I just wanted to say, because it's been in my head all day... that I feel bad for flaking and not texting that family friend back. It's just a text, I could've done that at any point today and I just flaked. I feel bad. I don't need to, it's not the end of the world and I'll likely text him tomorrow, but like... I've been doing that more and more lately, not responding... because I just get distracted or sucked into something, or just flat-out forget, then hours go by and I remember and by that point... it's awkwardly late. I've never really had a problem with this my entire life until the last couple years, in fact... I was always really good at reliably getting back to people and responding. Just something I noticed. I'm going to do tarot and then water my plants and head to bed.

Past - Ace of Swords, inverted (Intellect, apply logic and reason, Clarity and focus of mind.) Present - XVI: The Tower (Drastic transformation, unforeseen change, paradigm shifts.) Future - XIII: Death (Life-altering transformation, sudden natural change.)

Wow. I was not expecting something this heavy tonight. I guess we'll see what to make of this. Two cards back to back that make my heart do that tight spasm thing. Fun.

Let's start on a... naw, its not a good note. The source here is something interfering with my clarity, my ability to deal with logic and reason. Sound familiar, fellow anxiety disorder victims? It could be other things too, but that's where my intuition is bringing me tonight so... let's explore. That thread is connected to a card that I never like seeing. The Tower. The Tower means... okay... say your current life, your personality, your routine, the things you know and love... they're all bricks in a tower that you are building to keep you safe from the chaos and unpredictability of the world. The Tower is the sudden unexpected lightning bolt that strikes that Tower, throws you from the parapet and sends the whole thing crumbling to the ground. And what this catastrophe leads to... is Death. Death gets a bad name, of course. Why wouldn't it. It's fucking Death. However... Death in this context is about... a natural conclusion. I had to do some research on it because The Tower and Death are actually really similar cards. The closest I can tell is that... The Tower is more... unforeseen? More out-of-the-blue. And Death is... a natural conclusion to a chapter. Not necessarily "the end" in totality, but a natural, inevitable conclusion. That's what I got from it, at least.

What this means for me? I'm not sure, honestly. And, if you've been following these readings, I've had a pretty healthy ability to intuit my way through this... but... I honestly think my anxiety and a latent fear that fate might actually be real... they might be causing me to draw a self-protective blank. What life structure is being shattered? The staying up until 7AM crap? The nocturnal thing? I mean, I barely have any structure at all. Which is why I dread The Tower so much. If you have a schedule, a family, a job, a routine, all of those things concurrently... if you lose one of them... I mean, it fucking hurts, don't get me wrong... but like... you still have the others. If you have schedule, job, routine, but lose family? You still have the other 3. So... I've already lost my family... I barely have a routine other than yoga at the start of my day and this at the end, and making sure I do something productive in between, and try to do my one meal that I call "dinner" before too late. I don't have a schedule at all, really. So... the only thing left is... my job. And that one... I really don't want to get back into that.

So... I'm kinda hoping that... given the surrounding circumstances of today... that The Tower is my sleep schedule change. And maybe weaning off of RP streams. Maybe getting away from RP in general, other than as a tool for me to socialize. And maybe that's where the Death comes in? The inevitable conclusion that I'm going to have to walk away from?

I feel like I'm missing a piece. I feel like I just skipped right over the start. Maybe I don't really understand the Ace of Swords as well as I thought, let me look at it. Because the other two make a lot of sense to me, and seem to be echoing a very clear message of an imminent dramatic life change, but I just... don't really understand what about. Maybe... it's exactly that. Maybe the problem is a lack of clarity and vision.

I don't know, maybe I just need time to reflect on this. This was pretty heavy. It makes the past few nights feel like training wheels or something.

Agh, what am I not seeing clearly! It's nagging me. When I get big things like this... my puzzle-solving brain comes out and feels like some kind of time-travel movie where the protagonist has a very important but cryptic clue and they have to figure out what it means so they save the world or some shit.

Look... My world got flipped upside down like... 3 or 4 times over the course of the last 365 solar cycles. What's one more, eh? XD What's one fucking more.

Well okay, lets try to do breadcrumbs then. So... if The Tower is the Present, it means... it's happening right now. And there was a giant paradigm shift that fucked me up today. My family's intervention into my life, through a family friend that was almost guaranteed to be urged on to contact me by my mom. This fucked up my sleep severely, which has had me feeling like garbage and could take me days to recover from. That's sudden, it's unexpected and out of the blue, and it made a dramatic impact. So... if that is The Tower... then... how the fuck does the inverted Ace of Swords connect to that? A blind spot? An impairment or inability to use reason? What, because I wasn't prepared for it? I mean... I was fucking asleep. I don't know. Maybe because I was too anxious to follow up with this guy, because my last interaction with him was talking about how it was tough for me to leave my cat alone because she was very sick... like a week before she died... I don't know. Even that seems shaky. And then how does this phone-call fucking up my sleep... turn into Death? It could be Death of the staying up until dawn shit. It could be Death of going to bed when it's light out, and bitching about the neighbors making noise at 10 AM. I mean... it can be that. If I choose. If I can make it work.

Yeah, that's the best I've got tonight. I really didn't wanna do anything taxing tonight and then... this happened.... XD Oh well. I gotta go pass out.

[yourdogwalkerhasanonlyfans]

pt. 1

i was born outside of Houston, TX in 1991. there’s not too much to mention about my early childhood. i have a sibling. my parents are still married. probably just basic childhood stuff. but real quick i will mention that i actually don’t have many concrete memories from my childhood & i’m currently working on recovering memories in therapy.

my family moved from Houston to southeastern Pennsylvania in 2000. i went to public school. i was involved in a lot of activities: girl scouts, dance classes, gymnastics, band, chorus, theater. in middle school i was on the morning “radio” show (it was basically your standard morning announcements with some current news & weather information sprinkled in). throughout middle school & the beginning of high school i mostly associated with the “smart” kids. i was in advanced classes & got decent grades without trying very hard. in high school i stopped doing a lot of those extracurricular activities and focused on mostly just playing tennis. i took lessons outside of school as well. looking back on it my parents definitely did everything they could to set me up for success, encouraging me to put in as much effort as i could. i wasn’t the best tennis player on the team but i wasn’t the worst either; over my life i have learned the art of mediocrity, doing just enough to be deemed “successful” but not striving for any sort of excellence, which now as an adult who goes to therapy i understand that my actions were largely driven by fear of failure, so i artfully designed my life to not have many opportunities to fail too hard. 

as most people of my generation, i was expected to go away to college. i come from a Penn State Family, so i was mostly expected to go there. i applied to a few other colleges as well as Penn State, & was accepted to all that i applied to. towards the beginning of my senior year of high school i declared i would go to Penn State, sent in my deposit, and tried to maintain my grades. 

backing up a tiny bit in the timeline here .. when i was about 16 years old i started to experience a lot of emotional issues, which we all know is super common (puberty is a fucking bitch). i started fighting with my parents, rebelling, sneaking out of the house at night (sometimes taking the car my dad got me), drinking alcohol, smoking pot & cigarettes, taking pills, sneaking boys INTO my parent’s house, having sex, lying, cheating, stealing, skipping school, the list goes on and on. i had a job at an ice cream shop, i’d had this job since i was 14 or 15 years old. i would lie to my parents about working and i’d go hang out with people who i wasn’t supposed to associate with. my parents responded to my undesirable actions by first making me go to therapy and take psych meds. they tried taking things away, mostly any freedom that i had. i wasn’t allowed to do anything outside of school and work, which pushed me to just lie and sneak around even more. by the time i was 17 years old i was deeply disturbed psychologically & rebelled harder. i’d try to run away from home a few times, always reluctantly going back home. 

that changed when i turned 18 in December of my senior year. i had started to date an older guy when i was 17. i kept the relationship a secret from my parents for the better part of a year.   they found out that i had been spending time with a “man” who they felt was inappropriate, and tried to keep me from him (Danny). so pretty much as soon as i turned 18 i tried to run away from home. my mother tried to use her body to block me from leaving the house with my duffel bag. i called the police and told them i was being held against my will. cops came to my parents house and told my mother that since i was an adult, she could not legally make me stay there. i felt validated & like my point had been proved. i didn’t leave that time, but i knew that once i wanted to leave i could and my mother couldn’t do anything about it. 

one day in January my father dropped me off at my therapy appointment. i went inside the vestibule of the office building, watched my dad drive away, and walked back out the doors towards Danny’s house. he had just recently moved in with some friends in a neighborhood literally right next to the office where i was supposed to have therapy. i hid out at his house for a few days, only turning my phone on once a day to text my parents a simple “hi” so that they couldn’t report me missing. i didn’t go to school for probably a week. i don’t remember the exact details of some of the events that followed (hello trauma brain) but i guess at some point either i was able to go back to my parents house to get some clothes or my parents may have even packed a bag for me, i don’t know. i think maybe what happened is my best & only friend at the time (Melanie) asked if i wanted to come stay with her & her parents for a while, so that i could get back to going to school & my parents could at least have that peace of mind, that i was staying with another family instead of “shacking up” with my older, bad boyfriend. my parents probably let me & Melanie come by to get some of my stuff. well i gave it a try for maybe a few weeks but it didn’t stick. living with Melanie’s family just felt as stifling and restrictive as living at my own parents house, so i left again. back to Danny’s, i went. me & Melanie had a bit of a falling out after that happened. me & Melanie tried to patch up our friendship but that was derailed when we got in trouble with the police for underaged drinking over spring break.

there are a lot of details about living with Danny that i would like to get into later, but to move this story along a bit, we can just hit the key facts & events. i deferred my acceptance to Penn State. i graduated high school despite missing most of the second half of the year. the only reason i graduated with a diploma and didn’t have to go for my GED is because i had a few teachers & guidance counselors who went to bat for me and made sure i did the minimum necessary to graduate. i even walked at my graduation ceremony, which is actually a painfully funny story that i will tell another time. i started going to the local community college in the fall.        

my life as being in a cohabitating relationship with Danny came to an end in January 2011, after dating for about two years. the break up was extremely difficult for me. i was 19 years old at this point & had aged a lot in those two years. i moved away from Danny and that area of PA. i moved up to northeastern PA to live with extended family. i got a job at a deli, decided i wanted to go to college for nutrition, went to a another community college to get my GPA up, then transferred to a small university that i had a good nutrition program. i moved from my family’s house into a dorm. i remember feeling like an imposter .. like no one understood me or could relate to what i had gone through during those previous few years. it felt very backwards for me to go from having my own apartment, to living with family, to then living in an on-campus dorm. it just all felt very surreal and strange. like i was living someone else’s life.

but i adjusted, as humans tend to do. i did my best at that small university for about 2 years. i got a lot of my general education classes done, but once we got into the more advanced science and math courses i started to struggle and decided i didn’t want to do nutrition anymore because “i didn’t like science as much as i thought i did” aka i actually had to study and put forth effort and i wasn’t interested in that. so i figured i’d try my shot at a business degree. i left that small university to attend the local Penn State branch campus. i wanted to stay in that area because i had actually developed quite a nice community. i was very involved with attending yoga classes, i had good relationships with my extended family, and i had a group of friends. i lived in various houses and apartments with friends, worked as a bartender and at a head shop, as well as selling weed. i even found a therapist who i connected with.

before graduating from college in 2015 i had dreamed of moving to Colorado. i set up job interviews and traveled there over spring break. i got some job offers, but my father also offered me a job at his company and convinced me that it was the best choice to move home for a little bit, save some money, and not live in a small apartment with roommates who i don’t know in a place i don’t know. he made a compelling argument, so i took his offer and moved home to work for my dad after graduating. 

as you probably guessed, living at home with my parents didn’t last very long. i was used to certain freedoms and it just wasn’t working out for me to be under the thumbs of my parents. so despite not having any money saved, in fall of 2015 i found an apartment close to my dad’s business’s office. i now lived alone, in a town i knew nothing about. 

lets take another moment here and back it up. towards the end of my time living in NEPA and going to college, i had developed a bit of a pill addiction. i was introduced to the Wonderful World of Xanax. as with most addictions, it started off slow, turning into daily use. i had stooped as low as stealing pills from family members, etc. all the addict things. when i moved back down to SEPA after graduating, i didn’t have connections like i did while in college and i knew i couldn’t just steal pills from people to support my habit, so i went to a carefully chosen prescribing doctor who i knew wouldn’t think twice about prescribing me whatever i wanted. so i told the doctor that i had bad anxiety, and i had tried Xanax and it worked for me, so he prescribed me Klonopin, which is a drug in the same class as Xanax, known as benzodiazepines, or benzos. i was now an active addict who had a legal and consistent way to acquire my drug of choice. score.

i wasn’t just taking benzos, though. i was prescribed a concoction of medications: anti anxiety meds, antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers. i was also drinking alcohol and smoking weed. and i had an eating disorder. so, needlesstosay, i was not thriving. i was barely surviving. i was chronically sick with strep throat or other illnesses.      

to be continued ..

(i'll pick things up with how i had a threesome then one month later overdosed & wound up in a psych hospital)

[msmatx]

11.14.22–11.21.22 — Week Eight

Two months down. About seven to nine to go. Our return month is still undecided. All the things we’ve experienced: ER visit, doctors visits, two elementary schools, five hotel or apartment stays, dozens of healthy smoothie purchases, a visit to the northern border, a few hiccups not understanding the language, an election [two if we count voting from abroad in the US], purchasing new phones, making friends and hosting play dates, and some very very kind, thoughtful, and helpful people.

Some days and weeks are frenetic with our schedule. “Israel-time” is a phenomenon that requires a real adjustment. I’ve been attending university classes for five weeks, and we have classes four days a week. Not a single class day this semester has been according to the “schedule” given by the department at the start of the semester. We are forced to have class on different days, at different times, and different locations. And the explanation: that’s the way Israel works. Because all of my classmates are also from abroad, there’s a shared frustration. Fortunately, Atlas and Hero have adjusted well to these constant changes.

What none of us anticipated was the untenable circumstances of sixth grade for Atlas. It is beyond a language issue. His class is often in chaos with kids physically fighting and, seemingly, not a lot of learning. At first, I questioned his daily recounts of the chaos. Then, he started sending me videos, or FaceTiming me as it was happening. As a result, he doesn’t seem to be learning a lot of academic content.

On the other hand, Hero is really enjoying his days because they basically play most of the four or five hours. He appears to be the oldest student, but in true Hero style, he has not outgrown the thrill of chase, tag, and pickup ball games. He stays in aftercare most days until 230, where he gets a hot lunch provided and extra play time outside. The deliciousness of his hot lunch seems to be lost on him. He tells me about couscous, meatballs, schnitzel, rice, green beans, stewed tomatoes, and how none of it is to his liking.

Atlas has really stepped up to help care for Hero. My classes go past 5 every night, and even 730 1-2 nights. Often Atlas picks up Hero from aftercare at 230, walks him to the apartment for a snack, and either spends time with him or walks him back to school for club soccer. Some evenings they go out for dinner or desert. It has been such a joy to see their relationship strength through this period. Here they are enjoying a visit to Rebar at Dizengoff mall and immediately FaceTiming me to tell me that they each got one drink instead of sharing a large. They love testing their freedom and my boundaries.

When Hero goes to soccer, Atlas and I get a little one-on-one date together. We usually go to one of the two nearby coffee shops. This is my favorite barista. His coffee art is adorable and he always has the best attitude toward us as we fumble with our English-Hebrew. He knows when I show up I’m looking for one thing: Hero’s ham and cheese croissant so he’s taken to hiding one away for us since they sell out so quickly. The cafe has the most beautiful plants throughout.

This is the other coffee shop, which was the first we visited when we arrived i this neighborhood in September. They are also very sweet to us.

On Friday Hero’s school had an “eco yard family day.” His school has a separate beautifully designed schoolyard the lower grades get to enjoy. Many parents brought snacks and drinks for sell to benefit the class fund. Hero took the opportunity to show me around his school. He was so immensely proud of his classroom and playgrounds. While everyone was in the eco yard, he and I snuck around the rest of the school for him to show me where he spends his day. In Israel, parents rarely go inside the school except when students are younger (Hero’s age for some pick up and drop off and then these family days). I’ve only seen Atlas’s class one time for less than 60 seconds on a brief tour. Every school has a dedicated guard who literally locks and unlocks a huge padlock for students to come in and out. So this was special to see the school with Hero telling me all about how he spends his day.

And the school plays this darling catchy song at each passing period.

Friday evening we went for a walk along the beach before Shabbat dinner on our rooftop.

And on Saturday we walked to David Ben Gurion house for a tour. It was a quick tour that we all enjoyed, even Hero. Atlas said he learned that “Ben Gurion had a massive library and was both defense minister and prime minister of Israel.” Atlas liked how authentic they have maintained the house. Hero said he learned that “he was 84 when he died, he didn’t want anyone to touch his books, and he was upstairs when he got sick before he died.” Hero liked that he loved his library of books. I have to admit this tiny house, by American standards, had a massive library of over 20,000 books. It was impressive.

After the library, Atlas had a brilliant idea to walk from Ben-Gurion’s house to the nearest Rebar. Hahahaha it was about 1.25 miles away near the TLV port. We did get to walk through Independence Park and along the boardwalk, an area we have not spent much time. Then we had to get home on a Saturday and after so much walking the kids wanted to take the bus back. Well, the Shabbat buses are running on Saturday so you pay in shekels, not bus card. I’d spent all of our shekels at rebar so we ended riding the bus two stops, then getting off to walk the remainder of the way home. It was hilarious!

[kmgphotography]

part 1- 

I have changed my brief and topic a lot since the first project we did in part one. Originally I was interested in reaching out to different RTD companies and helping promote their drink through commercial creative marketing photography. I emailed many different places such as Pals and Grins and thankfully they both got back to me. I was offered a box from both companies to help me get started. I enjoyed doing the shoot for both grins and pals and learnt many new skills that have helped me in this second stage of my final project. I had never done a shoot like this before thankfully because of the marketing for both theses drinks targeted the same age and type of people I was able to use the same setting and background for both RTD drinks. I was inspired by a staged product photography series ‘Honest Rum’ by Josh Griggs. Josh Griggs is a commercial lifestyle photographer who is based in Auckland. His work was helpful and inspired me in different ways when I was working in low light and dark light settings. No matter what he is shooting whether it be commercial, backcountry, wild south , the honest interaction between people and their place is always his key. As a photographer Griggs is known for his story telling through different people and locations. After analysing Griggs work, I was inspired by his approach when it came to his wide range of photographic shoots, not just his staged product photography. Taking images is not just about capturing a moment but its digging beneath the surface and trying to connect with the people who will see your images. Griggs ability to achieve and create a memorable frame that people are able to remember is a concept I am trying to achieve through my own work in both staged product photography as well as lifestyle photography. Faanati Mamea is another professional photographer that I have looked to for inspiration. He has a similar ability just like Griggs to take images and not only look at capturing a moment but digging beneath the surface and trying to connect with the people who will see your images. I have been fortunate to meet Faanati in person and work one on one with him on a documentary series that will be aired in late September this year. Faanati has inspired me when looking to my own work in this second part of my project. I admire his passion and hard work and appreciated the time he took to teach me about not only how a professional photography shoot operates in a high work space environment but a film set with different angles and camera movements. Fortunately I will be assisting him in another documentary series in the coming weeks, I am very excited to be part of it. 

  Part 2 – 

Dave Letele is the face of BBM (ButtaBean Motivation) this is who I have been working with and over the past few weeks. Dave is known for his kind heart and motivational spirit. It has been a privilege working closely with him and his marketing/ social media team. In early April when I first started working with Dave he was announced New Zealander local hero of the year and was invited to participate in a popular New Zealand TV series ( DWTS ) Dancing with the stars. This alone  opened so many different doorways and allowed me to meet people working in the film and production industry. 

 I am passionate about both graphic design and moving image and I will look to work in both areas when I graduate. I was fortunate to work one on one with multiple freelance photographers and videographers to help promote the BBM fitness app. Over the past 6 weeks I helped run his social media content and filmed behind the scenes in numerous interviews and backstage work. Every Sunday Dave has his own radio show at media works on Today FM. I was fortunate to be running his social media behind the scenes at some of his live podcasts. My minor is currently photography and thankfully enough when it came to my placement I was able to shine and take advantage of this opportunity. I have taken many shots of Dave in action working with his fellow dancing with the stars contestants. Many of my images have been shared on not only Dave’s but multiple social media platforms and articles such as the spin off. I have done different content for his food and fitness app and photographed youth programs and gym classes for their website. 

 Over the past six weeks I have made some incredible connections that will help me moving forward. Last Sunday I was given the opportunity to help on set with a documentary that will be aired this September. This was a contact I made over the past six weeks separate to the work with BBM. Working behind the scenes closely on so many different interview sets with high end professionals such as TV 3 producers, I have learned how to set up a professional shoot and work with different cameras and studio lighting, something I had never experienced. This  has taught me many new skills that I will use in the coming years of my career. I am grateful for the opportunities I have experienced and I am excited for what the future holds.  

 Part 3- when looking to present my book I decided to print my work in booklet style using InDesign to design all the spreads. I selected my favourite images and added the text above to explain who I have worked with and what I have been doing the past few weeks of the project. I did a few different test prints before deciding on my final layout. The colours I chose are similar to the BBMs brand and logo I decided to bring in some of the theme so that it ties into the book. Overall I have enjoyed this project and have learned many new photography and design skills that I will take with me in the future. I have loved the past two years of photography and I am excited for the coming years ahead.  

[pastxlscorp]

Bully! Mitsuya Fanfic (pt.1)

Chapter I: Inception

✿ Word Count: 2.1k

✿ Pairing: Takashi Mitsuya x reader

✿ Topics covered: (Eventual) Enemies to lovers trope, Y/N POV, tsundere-Mitsuya, bully! Mitsuya, fem. reader, minor manga spoilers, Bully! Mitsuya headcanons from last post

He lifted his large palm, coated in silver and black rings to match his attire. He was wearing a black mock turtleneck that matched his jet black hair. In his youth, he had lilac-colored hair that was either in a buzz-cut or grown out to a mullet. Now, he sported his black hair in his college-years. He was studying to become a fashion designer, a dream he had since his youth after his love blossomed for sewing. It had begun as a chore in order to keep his sisters satisfied and happy, saving money from buying toys by simply creating them himself. As he practiced it more and more, he began to realize how intricate fabrics were. How beautiful colors could come together and form the prettiest structures and designs -- how even the ugliest colors would look elegant if you paired them properly with the right colors, or carefully took apart the threads to create something new. You on the other hand were not studying to become a fashion designer, but rather a photographer. In your youth, you were a free-lancer in art and a quiet overachiever. You had many different career options open to you, but nothing really opened you up in the way art did. You participated in many different types of art, you loved painting, sewing, embroidery, name it, you’ve probably dabbled in it. One day, your class was introduced to your photography unit and all the puzzle pieces fell into the designated places, the pieces being lost and untouched for years. Nothing brought you more joy than snapping someone’s photo on the street to surprise them with the way the sunlight beautifully encapsulated their figure. Nothing brought you more joy than taking an eerily aesthetic photo of the rain pouring on the people below your building as a lady frolocked in the rain below, eager to rejoice in mother nature’s beauty.

Truthfully, your relationship had not started out the way it was now. With his palm ever so elegantly shoving you to the floor, your photographs spilling out of your portfolio as you hit the cold tile floor, protecting your chest by landing on your elbow and knee. Snickers, chuckles, giggles-- they all filled the hallway after seeing you collapse. Only a select few actually took pity on you, including one of his loyal followers, Hakkai Shiba. Mitsuya was usually followed around by two close-friends, Yasuda-san and Hakkai. Yasuda-san was also a fashion major, while Hakkai was planning to become a model. Mitsuya was very well respected amongst the campus for many different reasons. Firstly, he was gifted with the intellect of sewing intrigue designs that made everyone sigh in awe. Secondly, pretty-privilege. You hated to admit it but Mitsuya was a very attractive-looking man, his hair was always fluffed to the right extent, he was well-dressed, and leading into the third reason, he was smart. Despite being a part of the Tokyo Manji Gang, otherwise known as Toman, as one of the second division captains, he was able to manage schoolwork as an overachiever and was known for his intellect. Not to mention, keeping his division in check along with his two younger sisters AND the sewing club that he managed at his school? It was no wonder he was seen as the perfect boyfriend, he had all of his together. This was the reason why his disregard of you was seen as acceptable, everyone assumed you must have done something wrong for him to treat you this way, right?

Incorrect assumption. You have never done anything wrong to Mitsuya-- in fact… you don’t really remember doing anything to him, period. You both met by chance in his home-economics club, which he decided to suggest to the college board upon seeing there was not a club that actively encouraged sewing. At the time, most participants on campus were graphic designers, artists, not really looking to take the fashion industry by storm as Mitsuya was. However, he was able to persuade the board and even got petition signatures to seal it all off. He was the president of the club and upon seeing the posters taped in the hallways, you instantly took the opportunity to get any extracurricular activities on your transcript. He welcomed you into the club but it wasn’t like you got that much of his attention-- after all, the club filled up quickly with Mitsuya’s admirers. Although, shortly before he began his cruel treatment and behavior towards you, it actually seemed like you two were becoming friends. He would begin to check on you a little more frequently than the rest, tapping your shoulder with a warm smile, asking you how your project was going. You would show him your small projects, nothing too big as it had nothing to do with your major, but projects that you enjoyed and had fun doing nonetheless. He seemed most amused by the sweater you created for your dog by letting out a soft chuckle. In return, he showed you the sweaters he made for his sisters, who were now teenagers. It became a routine for him to walk over to you after checking up on everyone else and talk until club hours were over. He’d find anything to talk about and it made your heart swell with how he actually took the time out of his day to make sure you didn’t feel alone. You were sure he had picked up on how you lacked friends in his club, he was clearly trying to make you feel welcome and you couldn’t help but begin to admire him even more than you once had.

One day, however, it suddenly changed. His demeanor was suddenly cold and unwelcoming to you. You noticed when you walked into his club as you normally did, taking your seat. He did not visit you within the 10 minutes it usually took him to check upon everyone else. It took much, much longer, so you simply assumed everyone needed more help than usual. However, when he came over to your table, his words startled you so much that you pricked yourself with your needle, rushing your eyes to meet his own at his sudden harshness.

┃ “Looks like someone isn’t paying attention.”

The venom in his words made your cheeks flush with a tint of red, noticing some of the club members staring at you, also in surprise of his harsh tone. You open your mouth, quickly questioning his behavior, all of your words coming out panicked, in fear you’ve done something wrong-- something to disappoint, or upset him.

┃ “What do you mean, Pres? My projects have never been an issue before.”

┃ “Nicknames are a privilege. Call me by my proper title.” He snapped, your peers widening their eyes, for he never required anyone to call him by his last name.

┃ “...President Mitsuya, I apologize. However, you can’t just--”

┃ “Look around,” he motions his arm towards the surrounding students working at their tables, sewing much larger projects and others measuring their models for their designs. Your right eyebrow began to raise in confusion, he had never minded your small projects. Yet, here he was, embarrassing, no-- humiliating you in front of your peers about how minuscule your projects were in comparison.

┃ “Your peers all have their mind set on a big project or several larger projects. Yet, here you are with your small little trinkets. They’re working hard, and you’re doing the bare minimum to have your work completed for this club.”

Tears began to prick your eyes, questioning what his true motive was here. Surely, the projects weren’t the issue. This… this was too strong of a switch-up. Something had triggered this outburst of his, but you weren’t sure what. He was always stressed, all the time actually-- had he perhaps overwhelmed himself and he was taking it out on you?

┃ “(Y/N).” Your name so violently came out of his mouth, as if it had just crashed on cement. It wasn’t the silky and softer voice you were accustomed to hearing when speaking with him. “Get your head out of the clouds. Are you listening?”

┃ “Sir… I mean, President Mitsuya, with all due respect, you seem to be… unfairly targeting me. Some of these students are creating something as simple as a sweater for their friends, why is something for my dog any different?”

The rest of the club began planning your funeral. While never seeing him this upset on school grounds, they have heard about how foul he could get with his division members. Questioning him was bound to make him explode. They all froze, eyes drifting to Mitsuya for an incoming scolding.

┃ With a harsh grab, his fingers glide under your chin as he lifts it up to meet his face directly. “'You questioning me?”

┃ “N-no sir! I mean no disrespect, I just-”

┃ “You’ll be staying after club hours.”

┃ “B-but sir I have-”

┃ “I was NOT asking.” He half-shouts, dropping your chin from his harsh grip as he makes it back to the front of the classroom where he continues to work on his own projects. Your fellow club members pitied you at first, but after seeing how harsh he got later on with you as the bullying continued, they assumed this was the result of an external conflict.

You don’t remember what he told you after club hours. He was yelling something about how you were stupid, a dumbass, and well, you get the rest. Cruel words were thrown at you as if the day before he wasn’t so fondly helping you with the sweater for your dog-- helping you perfect the stitch of his name. Any time you questioned him or flat-out denied his accusations and heinous words, he would yank your chain and pull you so you were right in front of him as he stared down at you. It was enough to scare you out of ever providing a rebuttal, and you soon learned that as the bullying continued.

Now, here you are, on the floor, calmly collecting your portfolio photographs, not even phased by his now-normal harassment. Usually, a shove would be enough to appease him, but today it seemed like one of those days where he wanted more. He walked over to your kneeling figure as you collected your portfolio, your head turned away from him to avoid giving him any form of satisfaction.

┃ “What do you say after you bump into someone?”

┃ “I didn’t bump into you, dickhead.”

With a swift motion, he forcefully grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him, his lavender eyes piercing straight through you. He was clearly unsatisfied with your response.

┃ “What do you say after you bump into someone, skank?”

Every time you questioned him or talked back, you knew it simply made him angrier. You quickly learned that him acting out was his way of earning your attention, but for whatever reason it was, you couldn’t figure out why. What you did learn, however, from your many other incidents with him, is that he would praise you when you were obedient. Eager to get this over with and save yourself any more humiliation, you replied:

┃ “I’m sorry.”

┃ “I’m sorry…?”

┃ With a sigh, you continue, “I’m sorry, President Mitsuya.”

He smirks, now satisfied with your answer. He taps your cheek with his right index finger and replies:

┃ “Good girl.”

You swipe your face away from his grasp and continue collecting your photographs, along with your notebooks and planner that had slipped out. Mitsuya scoffs as you once more retract your attention away from him and walks away with Yasuda-sun snickering. Hakkai, however, stays behind and examines you for a few brief moments. He walks over to you and begins helping you organize your bookbag. You look up and smile-- despite his silence, his eyes offered every form of apology he could give you. You had learned Hakkai was afraid to speak up to Mitsuya because he was his best friend and was afraid any talkback from him would only result in a deeper hatred for you. You didn’t mind, however, you just appreciated how Hakkai kept you grounded. He helped you remember you didn’t do anything wrong, this was Mitsuya’s doing and his alone. Hakkai was always well-dressed as well, you noticed. He was wearing an incredibly long trench coat with beautiful shades of baby blue, ocean blues and a bright orange that made everything pop. It covered a black mock turtleneck that seemed to be matching the one Mitsuya was wearing and in fact, Hakkai also seemed to have an earring on one ear, similar to Mitsuya. It appeared that he deeply respected Mitsuya, his outfit seemed to be heavily inspired by his own. With everything settled in your bookbag once more, he offered you a pat on the head with a smile as you nodded and thanked him before running off to your first class of the day.

✿ a.n. // I finished this chapter while finishing my AP Psychology hw. I had started writing it and then idk why but I was re-reading the manga and went “wait, now what if we have Hakkai and Yasuda-san…” and ta-da, take my 2.1k words of pure a$$. If this chapter does well, I’ll be sure to upload it on my ao3, too. special tags for @the2ndl and @bren-heron because they both really wanted a fic out of this concept. I hope you enjoy loves <3

[mochegato]

Even the Losers

Chapter 5

Chapter 1     Chapter 4

“Not quite the child you expected to be on the front page today, was it?” Lucius commented, falling into step with Bruce as soon as he exited the elevator on their offices’ floor.

Bruce shot him a slight glare.  He heavily suspected the receptionist at the front of letting Lucius know he was on his way up so he could stage this ambush.  “No, no it was not,” he gritted out.  He loved Lucius.  He did.  But he was not looking forward to discussing this with anyone right now.  He needed to talk to Sabine and figure out his next steps.  He didn’t have time for teasing or hurt feelings, unless they were Marinette’s or his other children’s.

“Don’t think she expected it either.  She was quite distraught when the reporters found her this morning,” Lucius noted calmly.

Bruce stopped and glared full force at him. “Why were you with her this morning?”

Lucius raised an unamused eyebrow at him. “Early morning meeting with her and her friend, Max Kante, the one who actually invented the fabric Ms. Cole tried to take credit for.”  He continued walking toward Bruce’s office, not caring whether he caught up or not. If he wanted to be an overbearing ass, they could have a meeting with that tone and Bruce definitely wouldn’t be the one to win.

“Sorry,” Bruce grumbled, catching up to him.

Lucius nodded to let him know he accepted the apology. “She takes after you, you know.  I could see how upset she was with the reporters’ questions but she masked it expertly.  Seemed to completely shut down those emotions.  If I didn’t know you, I might not have known it was all an act.  Shut the reporter down without admitting anything too, or lying.  Quite smart, that daughter of yours.”  Lucius turned toward Bruce as they passed through Bruce’s office doors.  “Must get that from her mother,” he teased.

Bruce let out a long breath.  “Without a doubt.  How was she at the meeting?”

Lucius raised both eyebrows at that question, otherwise not reacting at all.  “You haven’t spoken with her yet?”

Bruce focused on his desk as he sat behind it. “I haven’t had the opportunity yet,” he hedged.

Lucius narrowed his eyes slightly but answered the question.  “She was brilliant.  She is brilliant.  She was calm and collected.  Engaging and polite.  Very insightful.  You would never know she had been accosted and almost assaulted a few moments before. Completely professional.”

“What do you mean ‘almost assaulted’?” Bruce growled.

“Particularly aggressive reporter.  I gave PR and security his name and picture.  We’ll have a restraining order put out and he won’t be allowed at any Wayne events,” he answered calmly.

Bruce squeezed the arm rest on his chair until it fell off in his hand.  He let out an annoyed growl and threw it in the garbage.  He pushed the intercom on his desk phone, more aggressively than necessary.  “I’m going to need a new chair, David.”  

He slammed the button again before he had the chance to respond and let out a long deep breath to calm himself.  “It’s already started.  It hasn’t even been a day.”  He shook his head and looked up at Lucius.  “Can you see about getting a restraining order for her personally as well, please?  And how was the meeting?” Bruce asked.

“It was successful.  Mr. Kante seems extremely excited about our contract.  He’s looking over it today, but I expect he’ll begin working for us as of next week.  I’m still working on your daughter though,” he mused.

Bruce choked and looked back at him.  “Excuse me!”

“To work for us,” Lucius tried to disguise the amused glint in his eyes, but not too hard.  It was interesting seeing Bruce acting so disconcerted, and not pretending for an audience, actually feeling it.  “She helped Mr. Kante develop the fabric and understands how best to show it off.  She would be invaluable to have on the project.  Hell, she’d be invaluable to have in the company.”

Bruce furrowed his brow in confusion.  “I thought Mr. Kante developed the fabric.”

“He did.  He definitely figured out how to make it work, but she was a significant help.  Her insights and advice were key.  She tried to deny it but he kept insisting.  Without both of them, there wouldn’t be any fabric. Not to mention she’s the one that discovered Rabler and Cole were stealing ideas.  She created the trap and presented the evidence.”  Lucius couldn’t keep the proud tone out of his voice.  

Bruce’s lips turned up in a wide, proud smile.  “Yeah?”  Lucius nodded with a proud smile of his own, albeit smaller than Bruce’s.  Bruce just stopped himself from saying ‘that’s my girl’ because he wasn’t sure he got to make a statement like that.  Not when he hadn’t been involved in bringing her up in any way.  But it didn’t stop his chest from puffing up with pride at the knowledge.  

She was smart.  She was caring.  She was creative.  She was insightful and brilliant.  She was healthy and unscarred.  She was everything he hoped she would get to be growing up away from him.  He must have done something right.  But the idea of having her work next to him like Tim did, getting to see her every day… He smiled at the thought.  “How successful do you think you were getting her to agree?”

Lucius hesitated.  “Not very,” he admitted slowly.  “I don't know the nature of your relationship…” He watched Bruce carefully as he spoke.  “… but she seemed to respond positively when I stressed that I wanted her because of her skill, not because of any association with you.”

Bruce looked down and nodded.  “There is no relationship. She didn't know.”

“So her being your daughter isn't the reason if you manipulated Candice into looking into her and offer her to the rest of us as a possible designer for the product like it was her own idea?” Lucius raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

“I knew.  She didn't,” Bruce admitted.

Lucius nodded in understanding.  “Until when?”

“This morning, I imagine,” Bruce sighed.

Lucius raised an eyebrow at him, vividly recalling her behavior at the gala.  The way she’d balked at meeting him in his office at WE.  The way she’d frozen immediately upon seeing Bruce, all her fire and confidence falling instantaneously.  The way she’d been almost begging for a way out from having to spend time with Bruce.  “You think she didn’t know before the gala?”

Bruce scrunched his face in indignation. “No.  Sabine would have told me if she’d told her.”

Lucius shook his head incredulously. “Alright.”  If Bruce wanted to believe that, he wasn’t going to correct him. “So you were going to stay out of it and manipulate everything from behind the scenes?  Only exposing your relationship when you felt comfortable with it?”  Bruce looked down and nodded.

Lucius narrowed his eyes at him, his gaze suddenly sharp.  He tossed the file in his hand onto Bruce’s desk.  “I didn’t take you for a coward, Mr. Wayne.”

Bruce sighed as he watched him walk out of the room. His gaze fell on the file Lucius had left behind on his desk, the file on DCD with Marinette’s picture on the front. He pulled the picture off of the file to look closer.  He smiled as his mind flashed back to innocent baby eyes blinking back at him. Her eyes hadn’t changed in twenty years. Still the same bright, brilliant, hopeful eyes.  His mother’s eyes.  He could see it almost as soon as she was born.  He could never allow those eyes to be hurt, could never bear to see them in pain, which is all his life seemed to be.

“Then you don’t really know me,” he mumbled as he put the picture back and turned away, his eyes landing on the phone.  He took a deep breath and got ready for the conversation he had to have next.  He picked up the phone and dialed the number he knew by heart.  He squeezed his eyes shut in frustration realizing he had memorized it not because he’d actually dialed it enough to have the muscle memory, but because he’d intentionally committed it to memory.

“That took longer than expected,” Sabine answered on the second ring, annoyance clear in her voice.

Bruce let out a deep sigh.  He wasn’t expecting this call to go well, but he needed her help. “I was handling the rest of my family. They didn’t take to the news that they had a sister I never told them about too well.”

“Shocking,” Sabine deadpanned.  “And how did Marinette take it?”

Bruce hesitated unsure of how to answer that. “You haven’t spoken with her yet.” The disappointment in her voice was almost palpable.  Bruce could almost feel it slapping him across the face and pulling him down to her level.

“I don’t want to mess this up,” he admitted more honestly than he had intended.  “More than I have already.  I don’t want to drive her away by saying the wrong thing,” he chuckled mirthlessly at himself again, “and we both know that’s absolutely something I would do.  I need to know the best way to approach her.  What do I need to do?”

Sabine sighed and Bruce could hear her shuffling around until letting out a lighter sigh like she was sitting down.  “Well, everything’s going to be pretty raw for her. That’s the first thing.  She hasn’t had time to process this.  She needs to process in order to know how she wants to respond.  If you approach her before she’d had time to process, she’s going to freak out on you or just shut down completely, cold, detached.  Did I mention she sometimes takes after you, especially since Hawkmoth?

“But, she tends towards anxiety and overreaction spirals that she has to be brought out of.  Her friends are there, so see if she wants them with her whenever you meet. They’ll know how to bring her out of it and calm her down.  She might need a few more days before she can meet in person, but don’t wait until then to contact her.”

Bruce nodded, fighting the urge to take notes. That would be inappropriate right? To write down psychological insights into his own daughter?  “Yeah, a few hours isn’t all that much time to process,” he agreed absentmindedly, still trying to figure out how many notes would be acceptable.  He almost jumped in his seat when Sabine started cackling.  He did accidentally ram his arm hard enough to bruise on the point sticking up from the remnants of the broken armrest.

He sputtered until she took pity on him. “You think she’s only known for an hour?”

Bruce paused and stared at the phone, trying to process her words.  “You told her?” he was too shocked to be upset yet.

“No,” she answered quickly.  “I don’t know how she found out but she knew before today.”

“You think she knew when she planned to come here,” he said incredulously.

“No, definitely not when she first planned it,” she corrected him.

“How can you be so certain?”

Sabine chuckled ruefully.  “She's not like us Bruce.  She can't lie to save her life.  She's terrible at it.  She wears her heart on her sleeve.  If she knew she was going to see her biological father for the first time, without him expecting it, she would’ve been anxious, fidgety when she told me the plan to go to Gotham.  She wasn't.  This was all about Max.  

“I have no idea what point between last Monday and today she figured it out.  But, I can say that she's not answering my calls now.  I expected her to call and laugh about it or get anxiety about it because she felt bad for causing you trouble.  She didn’t.  She asked Adrien to let us know she needs space.  So she knew.”

Bruce let out a frustrated groan.  “She's upset.”

Sabine took a beat before responding.  “I'm not sure since I haven’t gotten to speak to her about it.  But, knowing her I’d bet on confused rather than upset.  Hurt.  Betrayed. Can you blame her?”  There was an extended pause while they both tried to process what they knew and how to respond.

After a minute of silence, Sabine spoke up a wry tone to her voice.  “You know, she’s always been an extremely cheery child.   Wouldn't know she was related to you at all when she was younger,” she laughed lightly, “well, people who bought into your socialite persona might, but nobody that knows you, really knows you and your brooding nature.  She always tries to see the best in everyone and bring it out.  

“She used to come into the bakery when we had customers and no matter what mood they were in, they would leave smiling.  Even the ones in the worst mood would be laughing by the time they left.  She just had that effect on people.

“But the one thing she could never stand, that drove her crazy, was a liar.  She can’t stand lying and liars.”  Her voice suddenly turned sharp and serious.  “And she just found out, and not from us,” she emphasized, “that we lied to her about this her whole life and that you never wanted her around but did want other kids around.”

“That is absolutely not the case and you know it,” Bruce roared instantly.

Sabine made a few placating noises.  “You know that.  And I know that… on some level.  But she doesn't.”  She stressed.  “I have no idea how you’re going to prove it to her now.  Because all she sees is that you walked away when she was one and never turned back.  Not until the media got involved and forced you to.  And she doesn’t even know that much actually.  Really all she knows is you walked away.  That's what you're going to be up against; her thinking that she is a burden, a prop for you, that all your interest is feigned.”

“Inadequacy issues,” Bruce nodded.  Memories of Damian’s first years in the manor flashed through his mind.  He shuddered at the memory of Damian trying to kill Dick his first night and trying to kill Tim the first time he saw him, believing he was interfering with his birthright.  “But not violent, right?” he asked cautiously.  Because if she was anything like Damian, they were going to have to take some precautions, not that Sabine had given him any reason to suspect that. But then again, it would mean she wanted to be part of their family, so that was at least a starting point.

Sabine laughed.  “Marinette violent?  She’ll rip you to shreds if you touch one of her friends, but verbally.  She couldn’t fight her way out of a paper bag.”

Her reassurance made Bruce frown more.  That was good… kind of.  He didn’t have to worry about her attacking the other kids, not that he was worried about that, really.  Nothing he had ever heard about her or seen so far would indicate that was something he needed to be concerned about.  But that also mean she had no way of protecting herself if she ever got kidnapped or caught in a rogue attack.  

Maybe that was something Damian could help her with. He was an excellent fighter and it was something he greatly enjoyed.  He felt at ease when he was practicing or sparring.  Maybe that was a way they could bond, Damian sharing something important to him.  Bruce immediately grimaced at the idea.  There was no way Damian teaching someone with no fighting experience how to fight ended well for either of them.  It was more likely to result in a frustrated Damian and a bloodied, bruised, and scared Marinette.

Dick!  Dick could teach her, or Tim.  Both also excellent fighters and both much more likely to go slowly, easing her into something her body had never been used to.  Bruce nodded to himself.  Dick would jump at the chance to work with her.  And Tim, although less enthusiastic, would be more than willing to help make sure she could protect herself.

Bruce took a breath and focused back on the conversation at hand.  “So… go slowly.  Ask if she would be okay with meeting first.  Give her time to adjust before the meeting.  Try to figure out how to reassure her my interest in a relationship with her has nothing to do with the media.”  He nodded with a grimace.  “That shouldn’t be too hard.”

He could hear Sabine’s reassuring smile through the phone.  “As long as she’s had time to process, it should be okay.  She’s helped friends go through the same thing.  It shouldn’t be too hard once you get past the initial part.”

“Right.  I can do this.” Bruce said, more to himself than Sabine.

“And Bruce?”  Bruce was immediately tense from the edge in her seemingly sweet voice. “Protect our girl.  This is a lot for her all at once.”

Bruce breathed out a relieved sigh.  “I will.”

“Because if you don’t, not even Batman will be able to protect you.”

Bruce blinked a few times and opened his mouth only to snap it shut quickly, unsure if he even wanted to figure out if that was a veiled reference or not.  After a few seconds he nodded resolutely, deciding it didn’t matter.  “I understand.”

“Good day, Bruce,” Sabine said sweetly.

“Good night, Sabine,” Bruce answered with a smile, wondering just how much of her mother Marinette had replicated.

Chapter 6

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