#i turned into a impromptu tour guide

[beardedmrbean]

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Caffeine Crash

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x F!Reader

Summary: You go on a morning walk and you, quite literally, run into Jamie.

A/N: Part of my impromptu Jamie Tartt series, read Meet Cousin McAdoo

Isaac was still asleep when you woke up. You could hear his snores from down the hall where you stayed in his guest bedroom. For some reason, your body woke up early. It wasn't super early though, just nearing 8am. The weather was nice, so you figured you'd explore Richmond a little bit, maybe seek out a cafe for some coffee.

You got dressed in some jeans, a t-shirt, and a light jacket. You made sure you had your wallet, phone, and the spare key that Isaac lent you. Out the door you went to explore your home for the next few weeks.

_________________

Jamie was jogging ahead of Roy, per usual. It was almost eight thirty in the morning, which means his training session with Roy is ending for the day.

As Jamie's rounding a corner he crashes into someone, causing their cup of coffee to spill onto him and the person.

"Shit! I'm so sorry!" the person says and he realizes it's you, Isaac's cousin.

You seem to also realize who you ran into and you groan, "Fuck. I'm really sorry, Jamie. I guess that's what I get for trying to take a picture of my coffee," you snort, "acting like it's 2014 again or something." You give a chuckle and a shrug.

He shakes his head, "No, no. I shouldn't have rounded the corner so fast."

Roy, who finally caught up, stopped at Jamie's side, assessing the situation. He looks at Jamie then you, then Jamie again, saying "The fuck did you do to her?"

"It was an accident," you and Jamie reply in unison.

Roy gives his usual grunt and then Jamie says, "Let me get you a new drink."

"That's alrigh-"

"Please," he insists and you agree, "Okay. I'll buy you a scone then, as a thank you."

"I don't like scones."

"He doesn't like scones."

Both Roy and Jamie say at once.

You giggle, "Okay, a croissant then?"

Jamie looks at Roy, silently asking him for permission and the former footballer replies, "Fine."

The three of you proceed to head to the cafe that you were previously at and walk inside. The barista smiles politely at you, "Back so soon?"

You nod, "There was a collision and my drink was collateral," you explain.

"So same drink?"

"Yes, please," you answer. You step aside for Jamie to pay and then you're in front again, "He'll have a croissant," you nod to Jamie, "I'm paying for it." You look over your shoulder, "Coach Kent, do you-"

"No."

You chuckle, "Maybe a water for the coach here. Thanks." you proceed to pay and move towards the pick-up counter.

You sit at a table that has three open chairs, Roy and Jamie occupying the other seats. You lean back in your chair with a polite smile, "So, what brings you out this morning, boys?"

"Trainin'," Jamie says, gesturing to Roy, "Grandad here wakes me up every day at four for runs and drills."

You look at him wide-eyed, "Four in the morning?!" When they nod, you look at Roy, "Do you not value sleep? Maybe that's why you're so grumpy all the time."

Jamie laughs, "That's what I tell 'im!"

The older man glowers at you two, "Sacrifices need to be made in order to be the best."

Jamie shrugs and puts his attention back to you, "What about you? Why're you out and about alone?"

"Isaac's still asleep. I woke up a little earlier than usual. Figured I'd grab a coffee and explore Richmond a bit."

"I can give you a tour if you'd like," Jamie offers before he can even think about it.

"Oh! You don't have to. Besides, aren't you still training?"

"We've finished. Besides, I'm here and ready. Who knows how much longer Isaac will be sleeping for. I'm a great guide, by the way," he gestures to Roy, "Gave 'im a tour of Amsterdam while we were there for a game. Taught him how to ride a bike too."

You smirk at Roy, "You didn't know-"

"We don't talk about it," he cuts you off with a glare.

You chuckle, "Alright," and you turn back to Jamie, "I'd really like that if it's no trouble."

Jamie beams at you, "None at all."

The barista then calls out your order numbers and you stand, "I'll get them."

Jamie watches you walk the short distance away and Roy leans, "You better be fucking careful."

"I'm not doin' nothin'!"

"Isaac said to behave yourself around her."

"I'm just giving 'er a tour of the city! It's not like I'm proposin' or anything!" Roy leans back giving a skeptical groan.

You come back with two drinks and a pastry bag, "My drink, your croissant, and Roy, your water," you say as you hand out the items.

Jamie bites into the croissant and lets out a moan that's damn near sinful, "I missed carbs so much," he says after he swallows.

"You'll be doing extra laps during practice today," Roy sneers as he downs his water and then stands, "I'm going home."

You give him a wave and a smile, "See you around, Roy!" When he leaves you look to Jamie, "He seems fun."

He shrugs, "He's not always like that. He has some good moments." He stuffs the rest of the croissant into his mouth and you watch in amusement, sipping your coffee.

He wipes his face and hands, then stands, "Alright, nothin' like the present, right? Let's get your tour started."

"Right!" you follow him out the door, ready for this adventure with your new...friend?

[mykaelaaa]

afterwork hours

✰ agent lee harker and you get carried away in the late hours

✰warnings: crime mention? smut, thing for interrogation lol

"who was she?" your voice echoed down the staircase, arms intertwined as you turned corned to the empty, poorly lit hallway of the FBI building.

it was quite late as you were leaving, she texted you how today had been busy, had to stay past her usual work time blaming it on paperwork and a new case. she will come home to you either way but paying a visit to your hardworking, incredibly hot and intelligent girlfriend with coffee to go never bothered anyone, right?

besides, lee kept you away from her line of work for long enough. she insisted it's for your own good, the less you know about it the less could anyone harm you and she would never forgive herself. 

"sarah. she's security here, checks the cameras."

it was one of those days you had nothing better to do. so, with a little bit of begging and on-the-go promises you landed yourself a free tour of FBI building.

she wasn't really up for it but would do anything for you and you knew it (and took advantage of it).

"you know i shouldn't be doing this," lee spoke quietly, maybe too quiet for some untrained ear to not catch it but doesn't apply to you. 

"i know but risking it once in a while can be fun!" lee looked at you, weighing pros and cons of this short trip around the building with cameras pointed at every corner you turned but she was thankful you took her out of her shell sometimes.

"these are the offices," lee said with not much enthusiasm even though she took her one-time tour guide job seriously. "the cafeteria where we have our break, here's the exit to the garage-" 

"and um, this is the interrogation room, we get information out of people in here." 

"oh, so just like in the movies?" you asked her. 

"pretty much i guess." lee answered ready to move on and wrap it up and just go home with you but you didn't budge from where you were standing. "can i see it?"

"see what?" she looked at you curiously. 

you spared glances between her and the door back and forth, trying to give her a hint, tilting your head slightly. "the almighty and sacred interrogation room." that made her roll her eyes at you playfully. you pulled at her jacket, "please?"

lee towered over you, height difference playing quite a role here. your look made her weak in the knees but she can't let you get away with every impromptu idea that dawns on you.

"i-uh, i don't really think-"

"-there's no one in the building anyway, besides that sarah" you cut her off, doing a quick glance down and up the hallway, lee doing the same. "and? what do you think? pretty please, it will be like 2 minutes top. that depends on you though."  

she looked so captivating under that shitty flickering light, her tired eyes searched your face for whatever you meant by that last sentence. shirt and jacket slightly crumpled from you pulling on it and tie loose. yeah, there was something in the air. something that whatever happens in the next five minutes would go in your favor given that you have the FBI officer wrapped around your finger.

"fine," lee said reluctantly, rummaging through her pocket for keys. you patiently leaned against the wall with your arms crossed, eyeing her fruitless attempts at unlocking the door. she would never admit but you did make her nervous like a teenager.

when the key finally matched, she gave the "can't believe the shit i'm doing for you" look before entering.

lee stood awkwardly in the center of the room which had nothing worthy to be proud of in the context of design, she's been here before so she rather studied your expression. you took a seat at the table in the middle, "this is where it happens?" 

"yes."

you looked at the clock realizing you had some time for what just popped into your head. and to be honest, you've been dreaming about this for some time now, except she doesn't know.

"what kind of questions do you ask?" 

she knew very well she talked your ear off about it at home multiple times because you were always curious, yet she had no problem repeating herself for you, "we usually confirm the basic details of the suspect first then gradually get to the bottom of it."

finding her nerdy answer sweet, you hummed slowly, resting your chin on your hands in amusement.

"well, what do you ask exactly? let's pretend i robbed a bank, what would you ask me?"

lee was at the war trying to decide if you were just mocking her or genuinely curious about this whole ordeal. she paced back and forth the room with no purpose, tracking the tiles under her feet, thinking hard. "i'd ask you what were you doing before it happened."

"mhm, what else?" it made lee slowly turn her body towards you, observing you shift in your seat. she picked up on your, well, at least what seemed to her as teasing undertone.

lee was well aware. she would go as far as claiming she could read you like a book, something she thought was impossible but you made it real. you really did love her and she didn't know to take it.

truth to be told, at the end of the day she was an agent, that was her profession, minus the lack of training for picking up social cues but she's getting there. she'd find it hard to believe but whatever special thing you have going on you got her addicted to it in the best way possible. 

"i-i would ask you what led you to do a robbery. maybe how long you were planning it." 

slowly you rose to your feet, and with annoyingly slow steps you made your way toward your stoic girlfriend who studied your every move. she flinched at your cold hands playing pretend with her collar, fixing it for longer than needed. making contact with her neck both on purpose or not, she wasn't quite sure. 

your hands fell to her tie and she could sense your hot breath so painfully close as the words left your lips.

"let's say agent harker," your fingers now focusing on undoing her tie, she had no clue what you were about to say, or do which made her swallow her question nervously and let you continue. 

"what if i don't want to answer?"

if lee had to be perfectly honest, she wasn't fully paying attention to what you said. it's not that she didn't want to, it's just somewhat impossible with your legs tangled and your body pressing against hers.

the question passed her by quickly, "what do you mean?"

"any techniques or maybe punishment for that? how else would you get answers out of someone, right?" you half whispered, flashing her the best innocent smile you could make up on the spot and she caught on this time. 

lee peeled her eyes off of you and looked to the side, collecting her thoughts and letting her shy smile escape. "i don't think that's a good idea right now."

"why? i remember when you told me it's super soundproof in here for a reason." of course you remembered that.

"darling, we can't-" she couldn't finish her sentence with you tugging at her shirt again. "oh come on, no one is here anyway!"

"i work here and…" she felt your arms making patterns under her jacket, distracting her from whatever excuse she was making.

"you're no fun. you have no problem doing it in the car but here it's a problem. i don't see why-"

in an instant she had you pressed on the table with hands behind your back, gaining a clear upper hand in this nonsense quarrel effortlessly. lee managed to find herself between your legs and by the way her breath was hitting your face it was rather out of frustration with you than the effort it took.

you felt small under her gaze, like her every move depended solely on how you'd act. 

"was i not clear?" lee asked, lips barely inches away, never breaking eye contact with you while taking off her dark jacket. "lee, what-"

"i said was i not clear? do i need to repeat myself?" oh god. she looked so stunning with her unkempt uniform, gaze slightly lowered you're only used to seeing it on different occasions, an attitude she only saves for work and bedroom you wish you had a camera to capture this. 

you were too enamored with the officer in front of you to notice her hands already unbuttoning your jeans.

she whispered, "i'll give you your two minutes."

you pulled her closer, lips crashing for the first time since she left you this morning. lee halted her movements for a while, savoring your taste she missed more than she'd admit. "fuck, lee" the moan you left caused her to take a sharp breath, trying to hold herself together. how she wished you two were at home more than here so she could fuck you properly.

her skilled hands swiftly slipped past your panties straight to your already drenched core. lee grinned, brushing her lips against your ear as the words reached you. 

"you're such a slut, you know that? being so needy while i'm at work." she right away allowed two fingers to slip inside of you which made you let out a near scream before she trapped it, covering your mouth with her free hand. she wasted no time and the risk of being here made you both drown in eachother.

"the cameras everywhere, least you can do is shut up." 

everything about this whole situation made you lose your senses. lee's head dropped into the valley of your neck, leaving feathered kisses while checking the doors every few seconds, making your head spin. you felt her hand leave your mouth with trust that you will be quiet and dropped down to wrap around your neck, leaving pressure.

slim fingers were at a harsh pace, yet careful enough. you loved when she let herself go because clearly you were the only thing on her mind right now and the mission was to prove it.

biting your lip to keep the noises intact was hard, she started hitting deeper, spreading your legs further apart. you were so out of it even if someone opened the door you wouldn't notice. your hands not knowing what to do quickly found support on her shoulders. 

"lee, i'm- i'm so close, please," she wrapped her arm around your waist, helping you with the little strength you have left from collapsing on the table. considering it's late at night and you're having your brains fucked out in the FBI building right now, lee got you covered. 

"oh yeah?" connecting the dots and making a mental note to ask you about it later, if she had the guts, this was obviously something you've been wanting to do. not that it's unusual for her girlfriend to completely crumble under her touch at all, it's just that she feels you are way too into this whole roleplay.

lee felt your grip getting tighter with each second, knowing you're close she curled her fingers the way she knows drives you mad. her other hand cupped your face tenderly, making you look at her, noses barely touching but it was intimate.

"'you gonna cum for me?"  

all you could do was weakly nod before throwing your head back again. as the final moan slipped past you, lee was holding your shaking body close to her, fingers still buried deep inside. 

she gave you time to catch a breath, her fingers regretfully leaving you. you watched her fix your strands that were out of place before she stopped near your lips.

lee brushed her thumb against them, "open." 

you tasted yourself on her fingers, her eyes not once leaving yours while doing so. she had a sly smile on making you think she enjoyed this as much as you did. 

pulling her by the tie you gave her a deep kiss one last time, which she returned back, trying not to get carried away.

"i know the camera was behind you."

"which means?"

"hope that bitch sarah saw us. it's her shift tonight, no?" 

✰this was totally NOT my fantasy or whateverrr i swear on god (what ovulation does to a fanfic writer (im so sorry sooo unnecessarily long u cud see i was going thru it)

[hikaririnku-blog]

Do you have any my inner demons ships? I wanna hear all about them

I am so sorry for getting to this so late ahfjksdhfjsd- It is really hard to articulate an answer without having The Brain Fog, but now that my mind is good to go, I'll say this: A lot of the characters have such good chemistry with one another, that it's hard to determine which one is the top one, much less which ones are the top three. But, if I had to choose within the aimed "canonical" romance, I'd say Ava x Pierce are the strongest. In my eyes, Pierce genuinely tries for her a lot of times, even without romantical love being there. This man actually began to care for her and her thoughts (yes, he may have stolen cereal just to make sure she didn't starve for the motive of "we have to learn about this new world and she's our way of doing so", but he could have easily Not Done That as well, so that's care in my book.) Hell, he even was the one to talk to her and ask if she cared for him and the other Daemos, which helped him see her stance, as well as explain to her that care is rare, if at all existent or displayed. Later down the line, this care is shown more in all of them. Ava getting sick, Ava leaving them around the festival and meeting back, etc. No matter what, it's become more than just her being their prisoner and impromptu tour guide, and her being there for them, despite her rude and anti-social approach on sociability. This is just my perception though, of course, as art (even in Minecraft Roleplaying Series) is interpretive. On the crack ship side of things, Ava x Lorelai. They bounce off each other super well, and may have more in common than they both know. As how I perceive it, Lorelai is rambunctious and loud, and Ava's socially distant and awkward. But there were times that, despite Ava pushing her away, she does show care enough to still talk to her, even if most times it's cat things from her own house cat like pressing the answer button for her. And it's proven further when she smacked Steve at the festival for breaking up with Lorelai on the basis of her being "too much" for him. What sells it for me is Ava literally says "No one disses you like that except me." and even asked to hang out the following week since "that's what friends do." There is a lot of potential there, with it being slow burn, but turning into something more beautiful later.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

For the 🍯Honey and Venom🧪 AU, I kinda headcanon that the way Reader met the VenomWings is because they took care of one the adults when they were wounded and unable to connect to the HiveMind.

It could be Logan/Wolverine, having gotten into a battle with an enemy and who ended up crashed into a wounded, dazed heap, and Reader spent several hours moving him somewhere safer, then spends the next several days to a week or two nursing him back to health, and he grows attached to this weird-looking dragonet who acts like a hivemate and is sweet as any VenomWing honey. When he is back in the HiveMind he plants the thought of getting Reader to join them, to become a young VenomWing...

It could be Charles Xavier/The Professor, who tried to go on a diplomatic mission, ended up separated from Erik/Magneto and the others, and who ends up being in the company of Reader. Who then proceeds to guide him back to the edge of VenomWing territory, all while distracting or fighting off any dangerous dragons or deadlier prey animals. He would try to invite Reader to join him and his Hive, and if met with a no, finds it no problem to do an impromptu tour anyways (read: he decides to forcefully adopt and kidnap them, and Erik/Magneto is there to keep an eye on them)...

It could be Victor/Sabretooth, who might have ended up imprisoned or was being hunted, then Reader throws the hunters off, maybe even bites two or three. They spend the next several days trying to protect him, all while he is confused as h*ck and slowly growing attached to this tiny whelp of a dragon. The moment they're a few hours' flight from the Hive, he is dragging them back with him, sedated and too dazed and tired to fight him, and he's making plans to get his brother to also adopt them...

It could be Ororo/Storm, who helped Reader find food or water or a safe place to stay during bad weather, and they bonded. Reader would try to tell her stories and share food with her, and Storm would enjoy talking with someone about plants and weather and anything and having the chance to hug them. She'd be the one most likely (after Xavier) to convince Reader to freely come (and yes, both would leave out the HiveMind and VenomWing transformation and if it's the 🥚Tiny Sting🐝 AU variant, the fact they venom would turn Reader into a baby dragonet)...

To be fair, it could be any adult (or older teen, maybe?) who would meet then, grow attached, and try to get Reader to join them. They would all be quick to the idea of another member of the HiveMind, and have no problems with Reader not being a born VenomWing or even a partially a SilkWing or HiveWing like their ancestors. They love them because they are nice and were kind to them when no other dragon was, and because Reader helped them and continued to do so even after things became dangerous.

They'd definitely want to help Reader pick a VenomWing name after Reader was possibly converted. They are just very excited they get to have their new dragonet/sibling/hivemate with them, and are glad that it won't be much longer until Reader does accept them and their Hive as their family...

[skywalking-through-life]

love all your percabeth asks it I love the way you think and write about them 🥹 what do you think are the kind of dates they'll go on?

Oh my friend! I think this ask got lost in my ask box! I'm so sorry I took so long to respond to it, because it is so adorable. 🥹

So, I am an absolute sucker for the idea that anything can be a date if you want it to be, and I feel like a lot of Percy and Annabeth's dates end up that way - even if they don't necessarily start there, lol. I can totally see Percy meticulously planning a super cute date to a historic brownstone in NYC that has like, specific architectural character or something, followed by lunch and/or dinner at some place that makes a really good tapenade...but of course, halfway through the tour of the place, the tour guide turns into a monster and they have to 1) kill it, 2) keep the mortals safe, and 3) not burn down this historic building, Percy! Because they are awesome badasses, they succeed - and still get the tapenade afterwards, though maybe with a side of ambrosia, lol.

Though I do have to believe that they also manage to have at least a few that are quieter! I would imagine these are more stay-at-home dates, things like: the two of them cooking/baking (and squabbling) together, pushing all the furniture out of the way for an impromptu wrestling match on the living room floor (best two of three, winner decides what happens for the rest of the evening 😉), Percy introducing Annabeth to all the movies she missed out on growing up at CHB in epic movie marathons, and even just like, very basic stuff, but very important stuff: making a plan to stay in bed all morning just talking, and reveling in the face that they are alive, happy, and together. 💙

I have SO many ideas for fun outings and quiet moments for the two of them (and I don't want to give all of them away, since I'm actively writing a lot of them, lol!), but I genuinely feel like they are the kind of couple who make every moment count, which just means endless date possibilities. 🥹

[umichenginabroad]

Stockholm Week 7: Travel Week 1

Hej igen! 

I had a bipolar week: the beginning of the week was full of presentations but the end of the week was full of laughter :) 

Let’s begin! 

2/28 Wed

It has been a while since I had two study trips in a day. I learned about the New Slussen Project, which is the reason for all the construction around Slussen. The planning behind the project was astoundingly complex and comprehensive, considering all social, environmental, and economic factors. 

Model of the new Slussen project design

The next study trip was a real guided tour based on the Swedish crime fiction novel, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. We walked around Monteliusvägen to Michael Blomkist’s apartment, the cafe where the movie was filmed, and viewpoints that showed the city at a glance. 

A picture of a gallery I peeked into before the field trip

The view was gorgeous. It's not too far from my apartment too!

When the tours were over, I stopped at the Coffee House and yapped with my friend for a bit before going home.

2/29 Thu 

Today was the big D-day: a 10-minute presentation on the case study done in my core course. I booked a room in DIS to practice until class. I ate my packed lunch and finished up my last touches. 

My messy hair ;-; The sun was out and I needed a break

Turns out the presentation was informal but I guess that was for the better. 

At home, I couldn’t rest as I had to prepare for my other presentation for Swedish and read half of a book for Crime Fiction class tomorrow. I made the mistake of reading in my bed and fell asleep eventually. 

3/1 Fri 

My team successfully finished the presentation and ate the pepparkakor that our teacher prepared for us. It is a thinner version of ginger cookies with a taste of Sweden. 

As a little treat after school, I ordered TooGoodToGo at an island I’ve never been to. It was such a smoggy and windy day (especially because the bridge I had to pass was near a huge lake) but I managed to arrive at the bakery in one piece. 

The bakery had so many cute chocolate pieces < 3

I caught up on my sleep for the rest of the day. 4 hours of nap before sleeping for real at night ;) 

3/2 Sat 

Finally, travel week 1 break began! My family came to visit Stockholm while I was here. We had no specific plans in mind, so we spontaneously decided on places to go. We left Airbnb at 5:30 pm when the sun was all set (...) but we still had a good time walking around T-Centralen and Gamla Stan. 

It was nice seeing my family again < 3

3/3 Sun 

We had a slow morning but made it out of our house by 1 pm. 

Our first stop was Gamla Stan since we could not see anything in the dark yesterday. I took them to the main photo spots first. 

Happy happy happy '◡ '

If you remember this place from my prior posts, you're a real one < 3

My dad then led the way to Stockholm’s narrowest street, Mårten Trotzigs gränd. It is only 90 cm (~35 in) wide. 

I took some great snapshots for my brother 

From far away, we saw a commuter ferry departing and abruptly decided to take it. We ran and ran and ran to make it in the departure time. We found out where we were headed once the ferry steered toward the temporarily closed amusement park on Djurgården Island. I felt like I hadn’t been on impromptu journeys for ages, so this kind of random traveling brought me so much joy! The island was bigger than we thought, and it was then that my dad discovered something from the map. The island we were on was the island with the Vasa museum! On the subway to Gamla Stan earlier on, we had made a plan to go to visit the Vasa museum later today. Without a clue, the ferry took us to the right place at the right time. We were so amazed and couldn’t stop talking about it for a good hour (and now I’m writing it on my blog post). 

Since we were there already, we went to the Vasa museum. It is a popular museum with a restored ship that sank back in the 1600s and recovered after 333 years, in the 1900s. I was impressed by the grand size of the ship and the salvage operation.

I still can't believe this magnificent yet delicate ship sunk 10 minutes after its departure

We took a thorough scan of the six floors and finally left when we were satisfied. A beautiful sunset was awaiting us outside. 

Swan couple < 3

This time, we took a tram to go back to Gamla Stan for fika. Fika and Wine was our first destination. We ordered Swedish meatballs and shrimp salad as our main dishes, as well as delicious desserts with coffee. 

Can’t describe the deliciousness in words < 3

For the rest of the evening, we enjoyed Gamla Stan with street lights on, going into souvenir shops one after another like real tourists. 

I loved the owls in this store but my wallet said no to all of them :(

The past few days have been relaxing, and I can’t wait to spend more time with my family :)  They are wonderful photographers (as you can see from the pictures in this post) so I'll have tons of more photos to share in the following days. Good pictures always brighten my day <3

I will let you know all about the rest of my break next week! 

Tack, 

Jiwoo Kim 

Chemical Engineering

DIS Study Abroad in Stockholm, Sweden

[pridepoisoned]

@skillswapping (for Faba!!) - [starter call/writing warm-up / accepting.]

Following closely behind her host-turned-impromptu tour guide, ERIS EVANS allows an exhilarated gasp to leave her lips as she takes her first steps into Aether Paradise. The central atrium mimics a scenic Alolan meadow, but the Devon representative's sharp eyes can still spot futuristic machinery and monitoring equipment concealed behind the well-kept foliage. Pokemon and other tourists are spellbound by the natural beauty of the innovative space, oblivious to its little deceptions.

Eris smiles. She feels comfortable here.

Compared to Aether's placid surroundings, the person leading her is anything but peaceful, a figure wracked with an erratic pace and mumbled muttering under his breath. Noisy. Eris can't help but wrinkle her nose at the lead scientist's turned back, but when Faba finally turns to face his guest in tow, Devon's best face is quick to change masks, wearing her most charming smile.

"You seem a bit bothered...I certainly don't intend to trouble you, Mr. Sauvageau. I, on behalf of the Devon Corporation, am honored to receive a one-on-one tour of this breathtaking facility," Eris offers with a respectful little bow and an airy wave of her hand. "You set the rules, and I'll try my best to follow your capable lead today, yes?"

[akumanoken]

"So from here if you turn left and down the street there you'll find the Brume.. and then on the right, you can get to the Jeweled Crozier… have you been there yet??"

Hearing that he was new and needed to find his way, Sakura couldn't help but want to help, so he turned into an impromptu tour guide. He smiled, leading the man along. "I know you've only been here a couple of times but at least you were at the merchant's district…

"I visited it yesterday…" he smiled, happy to let the beauty he snatched guide him around. "You know your way around pretty well, huh? You're no elezen, so how long have you been here?"

"Well, I'm staying here for a while…" he answered. "It's been a month or now… Staying with some dear friends… sisters, really, before I return home." He sighed gently. "And you?? How long are you in Ishgard?"

"Undecided for now… I go where the wind takes me really… I may stay a while…" he grinned. "Why leave now when I have such a lovely guide? It's not every day you just find a cute girl on the street like that…"

Sakura blinked, turning to the man and shaking his hand. "W-wait no I'm not--"

"What?? Not cute?? I'm pretty sure the one good eye can see just fine… much prettier than that poor woman I caught an eyeful of earlier," he jested.

"A-ah n-n-no that's not… I'm… I'm not a girl…" Sakura said softly, looking down. "S-sorry…"

He blinked. "W-what?? Really??" Henri whistled low. "Well fuck that's a surprise. I wouldn't know the difference…" He watched the other look down as if in shame, and cocked a grin. "Well, then it's even more rare then, isn't it? Pretty boys like you are an even rarer thing to come by," he winked, lifting his chin.

"Come on… weren't you gonna show me around the market? What's your favorite stall?"

[jandjodyssey]

Symi to Marmaris

I was not a fan of this morning’s ride. It was pretty much 9km up, descend down the other side to coffee (in a very nice location to be fair). Then 9km back up and down the other side back to our boats. What for me made this not the most pleasant ride was the rough road surface, which just makes climbing that much harder.

At the start of the day we also had a bit of traffic (including a horse running down the road. A few (me included) had to stop for said horse). This meant that you couldn’t always swing wide to try and flatten out the bends.

It was also windy and Jose and I (and apparently we weren’t on our own here) missed a turn on our way back to the boats. Once we were on the right road it pitched up to a point I thought I was going to throw up and I swear if it had been any longer I would have been on the deck. Charlie told us later he saw 22.4% 😳.

Having said all that we survived and when I could relax on the bike there were some stunning views.

Back on the boat for a quick lunch and then it was time to sail back to Turkey. Tonight is our last night on the boats 😭

It was quite windy on the trip back to Turkey so we pretty much all huddled inside. I had expected to be able to go for a wander have a drink for our last night in Turkey in Marmaris but by the time we got there and then cleared customs and arrived in our final resting place for the night it was after 8pm. A shame really as Marmaris is going off (hope we can sleep 🙄).

Going through customs was painful and by the time we got back on board we were all getting a bit restless, so we had an impromptu game of charades to amuse ourselves before dinner.

It is very sad to be saying goodbye to the Turkish guides and soon stage 1 will wrap up and 5 of our riders will depart 🥲 Something I hadn’t yet mentioned is that for this first stage we were exactly 50/50 men to women. For the next stage we gals will have one extra over the men. I think for me that’s got to be a first on tour.

[90363462]

Getty Images

A One Night Stand Changed How I Feel About Sex

Sheriden Chanel

Oct. 19, 2018 07:33PM EST

I've never had a one night stand. Despite how sexually liberated and free I feel, it's a realm I've never dared to enter. And not for lack of opportunity, just for lack of thought. As an emotional person, I feel things deeply and I believed that a one night stand would do nothing for me. I would have the physical and not the emotional, which takes a toll on the overall quality of a sexual experience.

Even in my casual experiences, emotion has lived there. It's why sex with the same person gets better over time. It's why my most powerful orgasms unearth and unravel. It's why I feel full instead of empty afterwards. The emotion is there, so the connection runs deep.

But my mind on the matter changed this summer. It was blown. Thoroughly and completely. 

New Orleans has always been a city of magic, so I shouldn't have been surprised by the transformative experience that enlightened my life and my perspective on hit it and quit it sex. It was a work trip, but he insisted on bringing me pleasure. I had been in town for a couple of days for the festival, and when I met him I was absolutely exasperated by my schedule and made that sentiment clear in the backseat of his Lyft. 

A vent session about work quickly became a conversation about oral sex and the importance of reciprocity with our perfect stranger, all because of a DJ Khaled track that popped up on the radio. It wasn't a surprise to me when he dropped me in front of the Ace Hotel that he insisted I take his number so that he could be a tour guide and show me the city. I said okay. Aside from my crab roll I devoured for lunch, it was one of the highlights of that day.

On the eve of my flight back to Atlanta, I decided to take him up on his offer. I had seen the city but so far underneath a very curated lens and I wanted to be with the people, so I decided to skip Sunday night's concert series for fun with Mr. Tour Guide aka Bearded Bae. He picked me up from my hotel and asked me what I wanted. I told him about a weak ass Hurricane I had a couple of hours before and told him I wanted something frozen. He had the perfect place in mind.

With our frozen margaritas in hand, we strolled down Bourbon, immersed in jazz being played in the outside air and impromptu twerk sessions and tangos. It was the laughter and the fun I had been missing. And his smile was everything. As a true lightweight, I was tipsy halfway through my cup, but it didn't stop the conversation from flowing as we gave one another our backstories and present truths. He made me feel an ease that was reminiscent of knowing someone for years versus days and a few text messages here and there. 

I don't know if either of us knew sex would be in the cards for us, but after we left a rooftop bar and he pulled me into his arms for a kiss that made my knees buckle and my back arch simultaneously, I was sold. 

I wanted to give myself over to the moment. 

Despite what my brain told me about how I felt about one-nighters or casual sex with someone I barely knew, I wanted to be true to the way he made me crave and melt with lust and desire. I didn't realize it until then, but I had been fantasizing about juices dripping in his beard since the first time I laid eyes on him. I had just been telling myself "no" until I said "yes."

And that night, I kept saying "yes".

As he grabbed my booty and bit my lip to access my tongue. He suggested a quick stop to the store to get condoms.

As he followed me into the elevator of my hotel and continued to pepper me with hot kisses, I was a faucet by the time we entered my room. We took turns undressing each other and I caressed his caramel skin before he picked me up and walked us to the bed, guiding the length of my body against my disheveled sheets. It was such a gentle careful act and it surprisingly took me higher.

He fulfilled my dripping beard fantasy briefly before I tapped him, begging him to end my misery and grant me what he promised me: Him. 

When he penetrated me, I felt like I was flying. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the thought of every fantasy I had envisioned about him in the past couple of days being fulfilled. Maybe it was a combination of them both. All I knew was everything was so heightened. "Give it to me," he kept whispering in my ear in between languid, purposeful thrusts.

I came undone almost instantly. And after the third or fourth time, he followed me over pleasure's edge, announcing his orgasm. Music to my ears.

We cuddled briefly before he had to bounce to attend a club outing with his homeboys, but he promised to be back, if he was welcomed. I agreed even though I didn't believe he'd return. But hours later, he did. We held one another for the remainder of the late night early morning we shared together, pressing play from where we had paused. He overslept and missed his early a.m. shift at the clinic but unbegrudgingly helped himself to seconds with a round of morning sex before I had to catch my flight.

It was a night to remember and one I reminisce on often. Not only because the pleasure I experienced was one for the books, but also because it changed my stance on how I thought about one night stands altogether. I understand them now. It's not about time, it's about feeling. And I think although it's a feeling that's coursed through my veins before, it's another part of me that I inherently swallow because as a woman, it's frowned upon to move through the world a certain way. 

No matter how much we lift it up and bear the weight of it on our backs. 

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Sheriden Chanel

Sheriden Chanel is the senior lifestyle and relationships editor at xoNecole.com, covering all things love, life, beauty, and wellness. She has an affinity for travel, self-care, and anything BTS touches. Keep up with her on social@sheridenchanel.

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[miamibaysideboattour]

The time i saw Rick Ross on a Tour!

I spotted Rick ross on a tour!

I just got back from Miami, and let me tell you, the Miami Celebrity Boat Tour was absolutely dope! If you’re ever in Miami, this is one experience you can’t miss. The tour is like a highlight reel of all the fancy spots and jaw-dropping mansions that scream “I’m rich and I know it.”

So there I was, cruising along the sparkling waters of Biscayne Bay, sipping on a cold drink and living my best life. Our guide was this hilarious guy who seemed to know everything about the celebs and their extravagant homes. The whole boat was laughing and enjoying the ride when suddenly, things got wild.

We’re passing by Star Island, which, if you don’t know, is like the VIP section of Miami. The guide starts pointing out houses: “This is where Shakira lives, and over there, that’s Pitbull’s pad.” I’m snapping photos like a tourist on steroids when the boat slows down, and the guide gets this mischievous grin on his face.

“Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on the Boss’s crib – Rick Ross’s mansion!” And just as I’m thinking, “Yeah, right, as if we’ll see him,” guess who strolls out to his backyard? Rick freakin’ Ross! The whole boat goes nuts. I’m talking people standing up, cheering, and waving like they’re at a concert.

Here’s the best part: Rick Ross sees us and gives a wave. But that’s not all. My buddy, who’s a bit of a goofball, yells out, “Ricky, you the Boss!” To everyone’s surprise, Rick Ross just chuckles and strikes a pose like he’s on the cover of GQ. Cameras are clicking away, and I managed to snap a photo that’s now my phone wallpaper.

But wait, it gets even better. As the boat starts to move away, our guide – who must have a secret talent for timing – plays “Hustlin’” on the boat’s speakers. The entire boat starts singing along, and it turns into an impromptu Rick Ross karaoke session. I swear, it felt like a scene out of a movie.

So, if you’re looking for an unforgettable way to spend an afternoon in Miami, hit up does Celebrity Boat Tours, they are super fun and chilling. You might just end up with a story to tell your grandkids, like that time I serenaded Rick Ross from a boat.

[eviesessays]

38. What is the farthest you have ever traveled?

In 1974, my husband Colonel Philip Pahl was about to be transferred to Hanscom AFB in Bedford, MA.  I was devastated initially as I hoped never to leave my job in Washington.  Easter vacation was approaching and Phil suggested we take advantage of flying on available space for the Easter vacation.  Many more opportunities were available from nearby Andrews AFB than would be at Hanscom.  Heather chose not to go and stayed with a neighbor who had a daughter her age.  Three days before school vacation began we learned that we would be flying to Frankfort, Germany the next day.   We were going with Phil’s son David and my three youngest, Jaylyn, Robin and Peter.  I cautioned them that we were flying free and they were not to utter a word of complaint about accommodations.  As it turned out we were going to Frankfort on an Air Force One backup that was on its way to Vienna to pick up congressmen there for a conference.  It was very comfortable with leather bucket seats and treats replenished by airmen.  Peter came over and whispered to me, “Mom, this isn’t bad at all.”  I guess not.

We rented a car in Frankfort and dared to venture out onto the autoban with no speed limit signs in sight and none seeming to be in use.  Having no command of German we ate some strange meals but what we ate was delicious. We drove along the Rhine and toured a very old castle. We had a tour guide who was glad that there  were Americans and Brits in the group as he did speak English.  However, his strong accent well disguised his bilingualism in Peter’s estimation.  We spent three days in Frankfort and then flew to Madrid, Spain.  We immediately headed to the center to visit the palace but this was Holy Saturday in a very Catholic country.  We were immediately caught up in a sea of people drifting through the streets, dressed in black and praying their rosaries.  We drifted along until we were able to duck into a small cafe that had wonderful pastries and tables to stand at to eat. There we met a Russian visitor with whom Phil struck up a conversation.  Phil had studied Russian at Annapolis and the two of them began quietly singing a little Russian folk song.  at the end he remarked that if people could just get together and sing their folk songs there would be no need for war.  It was a touching moment.

We took the train to Segovia to visit Isabella’s castle where she bid Columbus goodbye before he left for America. There was an old looking woman at the castle gate selling trinkets.  She was dressed all in black and wore a hood. She had a long nose with a long hair growing out the end.  We visited the 700 year old aquaduct that was still in use.  On our return, when Peter’s friend from next door asked what we had seen Peter  told him in detail about the lady selling trinkets outside the palace gate.

We visited the Prado and experiences more of Madrid and then took a train and headed south.  We were advised not to go to Torremolinos as it was overrun by Americans. We headed South to Malaga.  There we visited a very old church and picked oranges off a tree.  We then went on to Fuengerola to our three bedroom apartment on the fifth floor.  It had three balconies looking down on the beach.  We watched an impromptu volley ball game going on below.  Our kids soon joined kids from Germany, Scotland, England and Norway.  the activities director spoke to all in English. The burning question  our kids were asked was, “Is Nixon guilty?”  We could not escape that which consumed all our newscasts at home.  It was the height of the Watergate scandal.

We spent five days in this beautiful place in the sun and  then began to wind our way back home.  The train took us past miles of olive orchards and back to Torrejon AFB where we boarded a cargo plane.  We were strapped to the sides of the plane facing an enormous tightly bound mass of cargo.  The roar of the engines prohibited conversation.  We were headed to Dover, Delaware.  There we were met by our neighbor who drove us home.  

It was a splendid vacation. We had flown 4055 miles to Frankfort and 1478 miles to Madrid. It was 331 miles to Malaga and a few more to Fuengerola.  It was the same 331 back to Madrid and 3781 to Washington. We had traveled more than 10,359 miles .  It was a totally wonderful experience.

I have had many vacations to Italy, France, Croatia, Montenegro, Bosnia Herzegovina, England, Scotland and Ireland.  I have made several trips to the Canadian Rockies. I have seen the Rockies with Jaylyn, Anne and Diggs.  Peter, Jenn, Kalote and I made the trip from Calgary through the Columbia Ice Fields where we walked out onto the Athabasca Glacier which is now rapidly receding. At Jasper, we turned West and headed to Quesnel for the wedding of Peter’s cousin 

Brian Kolody.  If I were able I would do that trip again on a moment’s notice.  

Although not nearly the longest, one of my favorite trip was to Ireland with Anne.  The car rental place was unable to provide our economy car in our contract so we were forced to drive for ten days in a brand new Jaguar.  Anne could not have been happier. We sampled Guinness beer and Jamison whiskey. We drove to Waterford, the Dingle peninsula, past the hills of Mohar, ferried across Galway Bay and on to Kylemore castle.  We wound our way back to Dublin and our flight home.  Ireland is beautiful.  We were both sad at leaving.  It was  not by far, my longest trip but very memorable.

[stusalgus]

Iceland

9 April

Our nightflight to Iceland was just shy of six hours. Compared to longer haul trips like NZ to HK or NZ to JP this didn't give us enough time to get in a decent snooze. Making things more difficult, perhaps was that we were flying through high latitudes, which meant that six hours of flight took us six hours into the future. So when we landed at about 6:30am it was 12:30am Chicago time, and we felt like it was very much bedtime first thing in the morning.

Iceland! This land of myth and adventure! Of ice and fire! Of eye-watering expensiveness! Our first task was to catch a coach into Reykjavik. The driver was very professional, and good thing too: we'd paid $250NZ for a return airport transfer. It seemed that as with other Scandanavian countries Iceland was a high tax nation.

The landscape on our drive into town could best be described as "desert roady", although it was principally made of frozen lava rather than layers of volcanic ash. We drove past the turn off to Grindavik, an evacuated village that has been under threat from volcanic eruptions over the past few months. The Grindavik sign had been politely taped through, with a certain finality. (On past behaviour the eruptions are likely to be happening on and off for a number of years, so Grindavik is considered to be over.) We saw clouds of smoke or steam rising from that direction. I'm not sure if it was the eruption or the famed (and now frequently closed) Blue Lagoon geothermal spa, or the power station that has also been threatened by lava It was odd having contact with a country's global news event, especially just a few miles out of the airport. But I guess much of Iceland is lava waiting to happen.

Reykjavik has a population of 140k but it managed to feel smaller than that, lacking a centre even as substantial as that of Nelson or New Plymouth. Instead the overall vibe felt more "Scottish fishing village". The morning was overcast and grey and many of the buildings were 1970s style and faced with stucco concrete, which seemed extremely bleak. Luckil other buildings were painted jauntier colours.

Given our tiredness it was with some relief that we were allowed to check in early to our hotel (Center Hotels). I think it's best practice for the jetlagged to stay awake as long as possible to adapt to the current timezone, but in this case we decided "bugger that", and went to bed.

Iceland's equivalent of TV2 only seemed to be showing a live volcano feed.

We awoke around 1pm local time and staggered out to visit the Hallgrímskirkja, a Lutheran church built to cathedral scale, which featured a string winged spire. Indoors it's pretty sparse per Lutheran taste, with a tremendous organ. A bloke sat down at a smaller organ to give an impromptu performance, although I got the impression he was practising for a later service. The walls were decorated in grey stucco similar to the grim buildings I saw earlier. Again it was a little offputting, but perhaps Icelanders are at home with grey.

Across the road we had lunch at a cafe called Loki, where we blew $150NZD on two dishes and a dessert. We shared a lamb rack, and some other Icelandic delicacies: dried fish with butter (the fibrous fish sort of functioning a bit like bread), and pieces of sweet ryebread with various fishs upon them. We even had small cubes of Iceland's infamous fermented shark. The texture was quite odd, but not out of the realms of a Chinese fish ball. The alcoholic aftertaste was more intriguing, though, but not an experience I feel an urgent need to repeat.

Overall, the lunch/dinner was excellent. Chicago had been a gastronomical ordeal for us, and I was glad to eat a meal that felt nourishing.

We had a bit more of a stroll around Reykjavik, in the more touristy end of town. We then retired for the night.

10 April

Today was day one of our two day tour of the south of Iceland, conducted by Nice Tours. Our guide/driver was named Pavel. He is a Pole who, like millions of his countrymen, has taken the opportunity afforded by the EU's open borders to make a new life anywhere in the EU that's not Poland. I like their gumption, but I think a native Icelander might have had more context to impart. Or maybe not; in any event he seemed a decent chap.

We left Reykjavik in sunshine and was immediately by the beauty of the landscape. The cliche is that you see something new in Iceland every few miuntes/miles, and I have to agree. By midday the clouds began to worsen, and eventually the sky became overcast.

The van had wifi (my first experience of 5G - well worth the UN mind control, I reckon; but I guess I would say that…), which proved disastrous as Angus spent most of driving time watching YouTube videos rather than enjoying the scenery, as most 9 year olds generally don't. It did keep him quiet - it's an ill wind, and that - but I lament the low quality of the content. (Meanwhile I listened to a multi-episode podcast about the American Revolution. Well, at least I kept looking out the window, and took innumerable photographs of rocks.)

Throughout the day I have to confess that there we had so many stops I'm having trouble remembering all of them. I can recall a big waterfall cascading downm a cliff. We also visited a vast 17th century lava field festooned with luxuriant deposits of moss. We saw various outlets for the Vatnajokull glacier including one up close. We also the famous diamond beach - a beach littered with lumps of ice) ejected by the glacier. (I tried not to think about how much of the Vatnajokull glacier will be left in a century's time.) In sunshine the diamond beach, with its glittering ice on black sand, is a wondrous sight. We got it with angry dark clouds and a late afternoon gloom. Getting back to the shuttle I found Pavel was showing Angus how to fly a drone, with our lad grinning away, having previously passed on the lumps of ice on the beach.

I should say something about the temperature. It was a few degrees above zero, but the wind chill took it well south of that - at least, that's how it felt. Pavel told us that to him this amount of cold was nothing. Nice for him, I suppose, but despite the number of layers we wore it definitely felt like something.

Around 7 we reached our accommodation for the night, a late 70s/mid 80s single story lodgey thing operated by a local farming family. It felt a bit eccentric, but not unpleasantly so. For dinner we ate a lamb burger (beef was off) and "lobster" (read prawn) pizza, along with a yoghurty cheese cake and some deep-fried dough. It was filling and tasty, and again, a joy compared to US food. (If you're wondering about our lunch, the most memorable aspect was a bowl of tomato soup, for which Iceland, with its year-round hothouse tomatoes, is famed.

We then retired for the night.

11 April

We had a quick breakfast livened by Angus locking himself in the toilet. Then we drove to the jojoskull glacier to venture into an ice cave. We got driven there in a 4x4 which went bumpity bump, and we put on hard hats and crampons/cleats to tramp up to the cave on the glacier ice. The translucent textures of the cave ice were remarkable esp interspersed with ash from innumerable volcanic eruptions. This will seem obscure, but what the the way remind me most of are the "magicube" flash bulbs that my grandfather had on his Kodak instamatic camera. We had an Icelandic guide, and I asked him how much the glacier was retreating. He said that in 1900 it was at the main carpark (at least a couple of km), but that the ice would return "in a few years", citing no evidence. I'm fairly sure this prediction goes against scientific orthdoxy, but I just nodded in agreement - partly out of politeness, and partly because I wished it was true.

On the way back down the glacier Angus tripped and sprained his ankle. Our guide, Pavel was attentive and we later made a special stop to get some anti-inflammatory cream.

After the ice cave we ended up at Black Sand Beach, which is exactly that, but it also has hexagonal lava columns, of which the most specatcular example is the Giant's Causeway in Ireland. The most impressive aspect of the beach though is the huge waves roiling angrily into the shore. There were lots of warnings not to go too near the water, and guides seemed particularly keen to warn people away.

Next we visited not one but two waterfalls, simultaneously. On the south coast there were lots of cliffs for water to fall off. There's not much to say other than the spray from the waterfalls drenched us, and the moss perched on adjacent cliffs absolutely loved it.

We came back to Reykjarvik and bade farewell to Pavel, before checking into a new Hotel, different instalment of Center Hotels, and sadly not quite as mod. Sally was keen for hot water after all that ice so we booked the spa for an hour. I have to say I'm not a fan of sitting in too-hot water (sitting in a bath at the temperature I want is preferable), and even Sally felt she was being cooked. Angus enjoyed himself thoroughly however, even if he spent more time capering outside the hot pool than in it.

We then retired for the night.

12 April

Today we had another bus tour, this time a day trip to the Snæfellsnes peninsula. We drove through a long tunnel under a fjord, and I wondered how a country with a population the size of greater Wellington could build such things when New Zealand seems incapable of creating infrastructure without decades of fuss and rancour. On reaching the peninsula we visited Kirkjufell, a pleasingly shaped mountain that I know chiefly from a Google Chromecast wallpaper image.

Though not much further north than Reykyavik, the Snæfellsnes peninsula was covered in a thick layer half melted snow that was tricky to walk across. We no longer had the boots we'd hired for Angus on the previous tour, so his feet got wet and cold, and he became increasingly miserable. This was the third day of bussing about, and the majestic vistas that had my eyes out on stalks two days earlier were getting a touch monotonous. What's more, our (native Icelandic) driver was a bit of a jerk, and I was missing my old mate Pavel.

Time passed by and we were returned to Reykjavik. We sauntered to the waterfront to get some dinner at a food court. We passed by Iceland's coastguard fleet (two ships, looking in good order). After dinner we checked out the the Harper, the Reykjarvik opera house. It's a flash modern building covered with glass polygons that recall Iceland's hexagonal basalt columns, or (in my head at least) fish scales. The building might be designated an opera house (perhaps to class it up) but it's got lots of different rooms, and - even at 9pm when we wandered in - had a feel like a community drop in centre. Again I was a bit regretful that Wellington is incapable of building something similar.

We then retired for the night.

13 April

We spent our final morning in Iceland wandering around Reykjavik. We bought more pastries from Braud. I should revise my "Scottish fishing village" assessment of Reykjavik from our first day. It turned out there was a modern commercial district, a precinct of government buildings a bit like a sawed-off Molesworth Street, an embassy row like a Nordic Thorndon, and so on. We visited the city council buildings, which were beset by swans and geese. We

Although I'd appreciated Chicago and could have done with another, more sedate week there, I hadn't felt sad to leave it. I was definitely sorry to be leaving Iceland.

At the airport bookshop there was a pile of copies of Njal's Saga, a 14th century transcript of a 10th century recounting of a bunch of goings on between Icelandic chieftains. I'd actually read Njal's Saga perhaps 25 years ago, as my flatmate Andy had a copy. I'd completely forgotten the story, however (and for good reason, as it's a bit rambling and there's a cast of thousands). On a whim I bought a copy and read it on the flight to Washington.

[dear-mrs-otome]

Silvio Ricci - Smexy Butler Teim - Another Terrible Summary

(Silvio: "Do something that makes me want to serve you.")

Here is my irreverent, only nominally-guaranteed accurate rendition of Silvio's butler story.

One day, when Rio’s called away from the castle on business for one reason or another, Emma is woken up by Silvio of all people kicking in her door bright and early. He saunters in, gloating about how he’s heard Rio is gone and ordering her imperiously to accompany him as he goes out today.

Emma, of course, is less than thrilled by this idea and turns him down flat, much to his irritation. He insists that she doesn’t have grounds to refuse a guest’s request, and scrambling to come up with an excuse that will fit with her ‘noblewoman’ cover story she tells him that it’s her day of leisure and her father forbids her from going anywhere without a butler in attendance. No Rio, no butler, no outing - aw shucks.

But Silvio just looks all shrewd at that.  “So if there was a butler, there wouldn’t be any problem?”

She hastily adds that Rio’s the only butler that’ll do for her, but Silvio dismisses that as her just being self-centered. She has a very very bad feeling as he leans over to say something she can’t hear to one of the servants, who looks baffled but leaves to do whatever he’s asked - and then he tells her she’d best meet him in the drawing room in a half an hour. If she tries to weasel out of it, he’ll have her brought there even if they have to make her, he threatens.

Furious at how goddamned IMPOSSIBLE this man is, she’s nonetheless resigned to having to comply…and thirty minutes later she’s outside the drawing room, bracing herself for whatever may come. Only to open the door and nearly keel over in shock at the sight that greets her - of Silvio, lounging on the top of a table dressed in a butler’s uniform.

“So, you’ve got nothing to complain about this, do you Mistress?” Silvio points out all triumphant. “Now there’s no reason for you to refuse to go out.”

She’s still trying to wrap her brain around this whole thing, just abject denial NOPE NO NU-UH. Silvio as her butler?? It does not compute, especially given that his rude, lackadaisical attitude just proves that he doesn’t have any REAL intentions of serving her. She asks if he really wanted her to go out with him that badly, and he agrees that’s part of it - but the bigger part is how delightful it’s gonna be to stick it to that ‘damn dog’ Rio when he finds out that Silvio was Emma’s butler.

She tells him his attitude is shit for a butler, and he says that’s because he hasn’t accepted her as his mistress. And any lady who can’t control her butler is simply incompetent.

She’s bristling at that, firing back that she wouldn’t want a butler like him anyways, but that only seems to amuse him.

“Oh? Don’t get cocky. If I tell you I’m going to be your butler, you’re just going to have to go out with me,” he insists. “But mainly…if you want me to act like a proper butler - do something that makes me want to serve you. That’s the beautiful thing about dogs, isn’t it?”

She’s trying and failing to ignore how her heart does an unsettling flipflop when he sticks his tongue out all provocatively at her with that.

Resigned, realizing he’s not going to give this up, she reluctantly agrees to the whole debacle, much to Silvio’s evil delight.

Much later, she’s back in her room utterly exhausted from taking him around Rhodolite all day. He’d wanted to sightsee apparently and she’d been his impromptu tour guide - but he’d never lose the rude boy attitude and she was drained from trying to hold onto his reins all day. Especially given that he hadn’t listened to a single thing she’d said.

Still…she supposes there’s some saving grace in how he had seemed to thoroughly enjoy every moment of today.

Now dressed back in his normal clothes, Silvio returns to her room and haughtily says she proved a more useful guide than he’d expected. She’s mainly just…did you still need something? And he proclaims he thought he’d give her a reward for her hard work today.

She’s freaking out as he pulls her in with his arms around her waist, spluttering about what he’s doing.

“What’s the use in getting upset over something like this? You’re my mistress, aren’t you?” he tosses back on a smirk.

She’s still NOPE NOPE, trying to protest when he cuts her off by stroking a hand at her hip, as if chastising her for talking back, and she’s gotta snap her mouth shut on the noise that’s trying to escape her at that (you can practically hear Emma furiously just telling her brain NOT HOT NOT NOW hahaha)

He’s gloating about how she suddenly quieted down, and then his stupidly ridiculously handsome face (her words even not mine, the tsun is strong with this girl) is drawing near and she closes her eyes - only to feel his warm fingers and something cool at her ears, and she realizes when she reaches up to check and looks in the nearby mirror that he’s hung exquisite pink jeweled earrings from her ears.

He says that if she’s a lady she should be wearing splendid things like this - she’s too drab and a noblewoman’s gotta keep up appearances. Before he breaks out in a smirk. “Well…unless you are a commoner, right?”

She’s scrambling to cover for that, only making it worse when she tries to say she can’t accept something so expensive and he calls her out on the fact that a lady wouldn’t consider these all THAT expensive. And all haughty he says she can’t try and measure his standards by hers. With an arrogant laugh, Silvio suddenly turns his attention back to her ears, all mirth slipping away. “Be sure to keep them on in front of that damned dog.”

She’s thinking OHHH so that’s what this is all about, but she’s certain he wouldn’t take them back even if she insists so she’s left with nothing to do but thank him for the gift. He finally lets her go and makes to leave, in all sorts of a good mood, when she notices he’s got some flower petals caught in the fur ruff of his cape. She calls out for him to wait, reaching out to pluck them free…

When he just yeets himself away from her like she’s scalded him, leaping far out of reach.

He’s scowling and blushing and demanding to know what she’s doing, and she tries to explain about the flower petals.

He’s still scowling, even harder now maybe, but his face is still flaming she notes as they just stare at each other for a long long loooong silence.

“...Your face looks red -” she starts to point out.

“You’re imagining things,” he interjects. “I don’t care if there are petals, don’t come near me.”

Suspicion finally dawns on her then, the inkling of an idea, and she literally starts hunting him down, prowling across the room until she’s close enough to reach him again, but before she can touch him he’s grabbed her hand and he’s scolding her that she can’t just do whatever she wants because she’s his mistress.

Then he starts mussing up her hair and she’s squawking indignantly, demanding to know what he’s doing - they devolve into bickering where he tells her he doesn’t have all day to waste on her and she counters he seemed pretty dang free all day today!

“That was observation, stupid,” he scoffs, and after another brief stroke of her hair, he leaves the room as if running away.

Poor Emma is just left standing there, rooted to the spot, her hair still a rat’s nest as she’s trying to process what just happened. How it’s apparently alright for him to touch her…but not for HER to touch HIM??

But it hits her then that she may have just stumbled across his weak spot, and she thinks how if she learned anything from him today it was to suss out your opponents weakness and use it to make them obey you.

His words from earlier come back to her. “But mainly…if you want me to act like a proper butler - do something that makes me want to serve you.”

And thinking ahead to the next time Silvio says he’s going to be her butler, she laughs to herself - suddenly looking forward to the prospect.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

headcanons of the first years visiting mc's world?

Isekai!

Curiouser and Curiouser...

Ace is like the little kid that’s excited for the trip when it’s announced, but when he’s actually on the trip, he complains and whines about being bored and having “nothing” to do. His amusement mostly comes from bothering you and the others in his group, because that’s something that transcends worlds: annoying his friends.

He’s not really one to do sight seeing or other normal tourist-y things. Ace isn’t interested in learning new things, he just wants to what catches his eye. If he sees a park with a basketball court, he’s making a detour to shoot some hoops! If he sees a cool jacket in a store window, he’s heading in to try them out for himself! You’re just along for the ride.

Ace loves watching street performers and other oddities. He fits right in with them, too—dancing along to the song of a lone violinist, or volunteering for an impromptu magic show. As much of an ass as he is, he’s a natural as brightening up others’ days.

He’s a selfish spender. Ace will buy what he wants whenever he wants to, and puts little thought or consideration into other people he might want to buy for. This trip’s basically like a break from school, so why shouldn’t he enjoy it to its fullest?

He grabs himself a cheap deck of cards from a 99 cent store as a souvenir. You find it to be an odd purchase, asking why he didn’t buy something nicer. Ace smirks, the cards dancing in his hands. “Idiot, it’s not about how much it costs. It’s about the value it brings to. Like that—your dumb smile right there. That’s worth way more than what I paid for this deck.”

Deuce is the most excited to venture out and see a new world, treating the whole thing like an educational field trip to a museum! He thinks it will help broaden his horizons and make him a wiser, more experienced man.

Deuce is super curious, so he asks you a lot of questions about your world. He also wants to try everything and anything that he can, from food to events! He actually almost gets caught up in some tourist traps and scams along the way (were it not for you swooping in to save him).

He gets super excited when he spots a motorcycle (calling it a “magical wheel”). Deuce rents one out and races it down the streets (with you clinging onto him for dear life and shouting when to turn), streaking the sky with his laughter.

He’s the type that can spend hours browsing a souvenir shop (even if the items are overpriced) just to find the perfect gifts for his loved ones! Deuce even gets himself something to remember your world by: a cute little Gudetama keychain!

He has a phone or a camera out at all times, trying to take as many pictures as he can (”I’m going to make Diamond-senpai proud with these!”). Deuce plans to share them, and stories of his adventures abroad with his friends and his mom back home!

He prepares the bare essentials for the trip, allowing him to travel light and on his feet with ease. Before leaving, Jack bows to you in deference--a sign that he’s placing his faith in you to guide him in the new world that awaits him.

Jack’s intimidating face and stature keeps people at bay, which makes it easy to clear a path for your tour. When it comes to crossing the road though, he’ll put his arm out to stop you, only allowing you to pass when the crosswalk light indicates you can (even if there are no cars coming anyway). The same goes for any other rules he sees (like not feeding the wild animals, not walking on the grass, etc.)!

His ears and tail attract a lot of unwanted states and pointing. (“Is that one of those ‘furries’? Out here, in public?”) You have to give Jack a hat and a jacket to tie around his waist to cover up his animalistic features! (“... Have these people never seen a beastman before?”)

Dogs are drawn to him. They just gravitate toward Jack (dragging their owners along with them) and form a little crowd at his feet. It’s almost like they can sense his wolfish heritage and want to say hello to their fellow brother!

His interests lie in the local flora. Every so often, Jack will come to a halt and crouch down to get a good eyeful (and sniff) of the plants and flowers that have sprouted up. He gets especially excited if he spots a cactus--they remind him of the ones he raises back home. Perhaps he’ll pluck a few for his Dorm Leader and Ruggie, who might add the plants into a tasty stir fry.

Epel feels like a fish out of water again, just like when he was sorted into Pomefiore! Everything’s so strange and new to him, he has a hard time grasping it all. He keeps close to your side as he explores, careful not to stray too far in case he gets lost.

You can’t leave Epel alone for a second! People keep coming up to him and asking if she’s some kind of starlet or model, a lost child, or free for a date later. You have to quickly intervene, before Epel loses his cool and beats onlookers into a pulp!

He thinks it sucks that you don’t have Magift! You tell him about the nearest equivalent (Quidditch), which involves balancing a broomstick between your legs while you play, but all that earns you is a displeased look from Epel.

He joins Deuce for a race on motorcycles! Epel loves the feeling of freedom, so he drives recklessly and with the intent to completely outdo Deuce--it’s a miracle that he doesn’t get a ticket when he gets pulled over! “Heh, looks like Vil-senpai’s lame lessons came in handy after all,” Epel snickers, the sweet smile and teary eyes he had shown to the officer no longer there.

Epel’s really interested in the cuisine of your world, particularly the different kinds of apples. When you take him to a local grocery store, he picks up one of every apple that he can and munches on them while you show him the rest of your hometown. He drops the seeds into a little pouch, saving them to bring back to the Village of Harvest for his folks—and perhaps a few for Pomefiore’s gardens.

Sebek acts all uppity about the trip, claiming, “As if I would have an interest in visiting an inferior world that lacks magic!!” (yet despite this, he packs religiously, preparing items for every possible scenario “just in case”). He frets endlessly about being away from Malleus’s side and only agrees to go once he gets Silver and Lilia to agree to a “blood pact” (aka a pinkie promise) that they won’t let any harm befall their young master.

He SPITS upon the fake magic of your world. Tarot reading? Fortune telling? Familiar summoning? BAH! Sebek loudly points them out for the shams that they are (they aren’t even using the right spells or magical circles!), which scares all nearby kids, animals, and the elderly.

Sebek has moments where he just instinctively whips out his phone to call Diasomnia, only to then realize he has no signal here. His worries--and his homesickness--get the better of him, leaving him an anxious mess. He’ll need a few minutes to recuperate before bouncing back with newfound vigor, knowing that Malleus would want him to enjoy himself to the fullest.

Sebek eagerly scours the libraries and bookstores, intent on seeking out unique novels for his personal enjoyment. When he’s not hunting down books, he’s mulling over what gifts to bring for Lilia, Silver, and Malleus. Ultimately, Sebek decides on a postcard book, a new épée, and a Tamagotchi for them, respectively.

He dutifully documents every detail of his trip in a notebook, both in neat handwriting and with cut up polaroid photographs. (It’s a habit he picked up from Lilia, who often tells of his own travels!) Sebek hopes to return with plenty of tales to amuse his Diasomnia family with!