#i usually do but idk i was trying to save gas and he was already out

[neonpigeons]

I asked my dad if he could pick up my prescription at the pharmacy and he got one that wasn't supposed to be filled yet? so insurance didn't cover it. and he was mad it was so expensive. and I was like "did you ask if it was filled early? did they say anything about it?" and he was like "idk." 😐 I understand that healthcare and insurance can be confusing but as a family we have fucked up health and all take prescriptions (except my brother cuz he won the genetic lottery) so this stuff isn't new to him.

he also kept saying "call them tomorrow and get your money back" and I was like "you can't do that. you can't return prescriptions. the deed is done." and then he said "call your doctor and ask why it's so expensive" and that's also not how it works!! doctors don't set prices! this is already a generic. I know my insurance covers it, it just shouldn't have been picked up yet

[writingforatwistedworld]

I hope this isn't too late. But what about Riddle, Vil and Neige with a (male if okay) S/O who's hobby is singing and playing electric guitar/bass, they especially enjoy performing private shows for them? Non self-aware AU too if it isn't too much to ask.

Idk if I really described the male reader here. I usually write gender-neutral stuff so... let's see.

Also, I don't play the bass or the electric guitar so if you do play one or both please don't come after my jugular. I'm just trying my best.

Yandere x reader

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, imprisonment, poison, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, stalking

Riddle Rosehearts/Vil Schoenheit/Neige LeBlanche-Having a musically talented S/O

So you have a talent for music, huh?

Riddle thought he knew everything about you which wasn't that hard considering that he was your Prefect

But then you suddenly took up the bass, began to sing and... suddenly Riddles soul was in heaven

Doesn't matter what you are playing or singing

Any kind of artistic talent of yours is something he could only dream of witnessing

And now he does

You know that riddles head can get pretty red when he is angry, right? So imagine Trey walking into the dorm only to see red-headed Riddle

The poor man is so desperate to find out what the heck happened

The truth is, Riddle just listened to you

So don't be too surprised when he asks you if he could listen to you

As if he didn't already do that this smol creep

Every time he is there listening to you he is just sitting there like a stone statue

You might think “Oh my God what have I done wrong??!” but the truth is he is just doing another trip to heaven

Please continue playing, you are safe

Not to mention that you are currently saving so many students from “losing their head”

If this continues Riddle might not be the only one “liking” you

Mhm so another musically talented potato in his dorm, so what?

“Oh but it's S/O...” “Oh I knew that they were a shining star on the endless sky of the night! Their perfection...”

You catch his drift, right?

Vol isn't one who will wait for long to ask you if he can listen

You deny him? He will bring up his experience in the music industry and tells you that he just wants to help you to improve!

How can you be so heartless??!

So now you are there, playing in front of the Vil Schoenheit

You could have never imagined him liking the sound of the electric guitar but there he is, tapping his finger on the armrest with the beat

He might look all calm and elegant on the outside but on the inside he is squealing, wearing a headband with your name on it and waving glowsticks

Don't think he will ever let someone else besides himself hear this

Haha you really thought he was thinking of letting you go on stage with him?

Only if you want the people who were listening poisoned

You are his very own songbird (even if you were to perform something in the genre of heavy metal)

If he is “low on gas” he isn't usable for anything (aka he is in need of hearing your music on a daily basis)

He even prepares some potions for you which help with your voice and prevent any kind of danger towards your vocal cords

But oh, you suddenly can't move your feet anymore? Don't you worry, your music is exactly as wonderful as it was when you still could. The only difference is that your world is from now on Vil.

What a shame that you are in different schools

Neige saw you for the first time when Vil forgot something and you, being one of Pomfiore, brought it to him (where Rook was is until now a mystery)

And there it happened, the fairytale cliche... love at first sight... your eyes met and... the rest is filled with darkness and a manager who was worried over him suddenly collapsing

After that Neige hopes that he can see you again... and his hopes go down the drain

Having a rival as your only information source can be quite hard

So ok, you won't be visiting sets or accompany Vil...

So he just visits you!

He says he just wants “to see the school” but uh... young man, I can see you under that window listening!

So you play a instrument and also sing! How wonderful!

Oh but you think he will tell someone like a big producer about your talent and you finally see the light of the stage?

Oh no, this is his and his only

So Neige visits and gets close to you

And then he sits in the room in which you are playing

Cute, beautiful Neige listening in awe as you play a instrument which is sound wise the exact opposite of him

Neiges words are as sweet as sugar yet bitter as poison... makes you wonder who exactly ate the poisoned apple in Snow White

“Yes my dear you are talented but there is still so much room to improve. Don't you worry, I'm here to help! Let's keep this between us! No one else! Just us!”

[ectonurites]

about the cissie post: funniest answer is that yes, green arrow is her bio dad simply because her dad is (was? idk if he's alive) infertile. nobody bothered to bring it up because nobody bothered to make a big deal out of it at the time, her mom just asked a dude at like a college archery comp "hey, my husband can't have kids, will you knock me up because I want a bio kid?" and Ollie went "okay, sounds fun" and had a threesome with a hot blonde and her husband. she's declared part of the arrowfam but GA's not her dad and they all just go on with life drama-free

SFHDGFGD (the other post for context)

While that is very funny, I wanna bring up some... stuff from canon related to this topic.

So, to start off, Cissie's dad is dead (at least pre-new 52 which ya know thats where all this is centered considering Cissie has only shown up in 5 issues total post-new 52) and that's actually a part of her hero origin story. Bonnie used the insurance money from his death (he died of... some bad shellfish when Cissie was 5) to fund Cissie's becoming Arrowette (also fun fact! Hal Jordan was the insurance guy to deliver the check LMAO)

(Secret Origins 80-Page Giant)

But a piece of things I feel like you may not know based on how you phrased this is that... Bonnie was the first Arrowette. She had been an award winning archer (varies between just a competition or the olympics) and after not living up to her mom's expectations started to idolize Green Arrow & Speedy and wanted to be a hero herself! Now, we have different versions of these events told, what Bonnie told Bart and what Cissie told her guidance councilor, and there's a few differences that definitely just come from perspective of who the narrator is.

When Bonnie tells things she says she'd helped Green Arrow and Speedy,

(Impulse #28)

vs. in Cissie's retelling it's more that they just saved her at some point because she was getting herself in over her head

(Secret Origins 80-Page Giant)

So like it's a 'your mileage may vary' type thing. But she interacted with them at some point.

Now the fun thing is that this isn't just retroactively adding in a character- Bonnie actually existed all the way back in the 60's!

(World's Finest Comics Vol. 1 #113)

Now, this was pre-crisis, so the events from back then aren't necessarily canon the exact same way post-crisis, but this does give us some indication that Bonnie really had interacted with Ollie & Roy at some points, possibly more than Cissie actually believes. The majority of her old stories (there's a grand total of 4 unique ones, the dc wiki will initially make you think there's 6 but two are reprints) are her trying to help them and messing things up because 'whoops! she's just a girl' because ya know this was the early 60's, but usually she'd save them in the end and Ollie would be like 'well thank you for that today but Please Stop Doing This Bonnie'

But in one that's overall a JLA story... she shows up at the very end on a date with Ollie in his civilian identity (while all the JLA members are there with love interests)

(Justice League of America Vol. 1 #7)

We already knew Ollie knew her identity as Bonnie/Miss Arrowette but it's unclear if Bonnie knew Ollie was Green Arrow, regardless this means they interacted as civilians as well as heroes.

But then Bonnie just stopped showing up mid-60s, and never really got mentioned again until Cissie came into the picture in Impulse in the 90's now post-crisis.

In Impulse & The Secret Origins issue, it's explained that at some point after being undermined by Green Arrow & Speedy not taking her seriously, she met Bernell 'Bowstring' Jones and they worked together for a bit until Bonnie got carpal-tunnel syndrome from her day job and it forced her to stop acting as Miss Arrowette altogether

(Secret Origins 80-Page Giant)

And it was at this point when she had to give it up that she got married & had Cissie (the first panel I posted in this ask). Seems straightforward enough!

But then we throw this exchange into things...

(Young Justice (1998) #34)

And it just makes you wonder!

Like, Bonnie idolized Green Arrow and if we think about those pre-crisis appearances she possibly did also know him as Oliver... a situation where Bonnie slept with Ollie at some point is definitely plausible. Based on the 'they got married and a year later had me' thing, for him to be Cissie's bio dad it would mean she'd have either cheated on Bernell or theoretically it could have been a situation vaguely like what you said where it was something all parties knew about. The reason I brought all this up in the first place though is that there's very unlikely a situation where Ollie wouldn't have known who Bonnie was going into things vs how what you said implies more of a random chance occurrence.

But yeah we're most likely never gonna get an actual answer on this but I think it'd be a fascinating thread to pull on to build a story out of!

[steveroger]

Colouring rainbow gifs

The lovely @buckiecap​ and @djarsdin​​ requested a tutorial of some gifs from this TFATWS rainbow set.

My colouring process is kinda chaotic and it always depends on the gif itself. These three gifs will highlight the similarities and differences in how I colour my rainbow gifs.

You’ll need some understanding of basic gif making and adjustments. I use Photoshop 2021 but I imagine these processes will still work in other versions.

Some basic tips:

When doing rainbow sets, once I've got my base gif ready, I always make a hue/saturation layer on saturation +100 so I can see what colours I'm working with. I just keep it hidden so i can check how my colours are doing throughout the editing process.

Also something to stick at the back of your mind: you want your final gif to be as “monochromatic” as possible - make sure your final palette will be only black + shades of whatever colour you're targeting. This is not only to make the gif as colour-focussed as possible, but it also helps with saving your gif under 10mb. That saturation +100 layer I always keep hidden at the bottom of my gif so I can keep an eye on what colours are present.

It’s also helpful to understand how RGB and CMYK colours work and what to add/subtract when you want to bring out a certain colour. A good example of this is with Colour Balance:

You’ll notice the colours on the left are Cyan, Magenta and Yellow (CMYK), while the other side is Red, Green and Blue (RBG). So if you want more cyan in your image, you’d push the bar towards cyan, but then you’re compromising the reds. In Selective Colour adjustments, the panel is reversed.

This knowledge is absolutely necessary when you’re doing any adjustment, so keep this in the back of your mind as I work through the tutorial.

Green gif - Eli's door

So I start with my hue/saturation on saturation +100 to check what I’m working with here. This gif of Isaiah's grandson opening the door has green, yellow and red as the dominant colours, and I can see a bit of cyan on the right. I’ll keep that hue/saturation layer hidden as a reference.

Normally when I make gifs I start with a curve or levels layer to get any unwanted hues or create a more visible scene. But in this gif, I'm pretty happy with the colours, so I'm just using a simple curves adjustment, because I want to have whatever is behind the door as the ‘background’ and the door frame is the ‘foreground’, so only a slight adjustment is needed here.

Since the colours are already prominent, I'm going to make the green more visible and vibrant. I do this by using selective colour in the green colour to make the green stand out. When thinking of CMYK adjustments, you might think that Magenta -100 would work, as that normally pushes the greens, but I find that this makes things grainy and patchy looking, as you can see here:

Instead, I’m enhancing cyans and yellows, and only pushing the magenta back just a little bit towards green. I’m not sure why green specifically does this, but it’s useful to know this when you’re colouring.

With the yellows, I want to push those more as well, since the amount of yellow usually influences the green-ness of the gif.. I'm also going to max yellow too since that will also make the green pop, but I also have to be careful not to distort the skin colour too much. I also want to balance the skin tone with a little redness so he doesn’t look like he has jaundice (skin tone will be explored later in the gif process)

I've added another selective colour layer on top of that, only adjusting the greens just to make it pop a little more. Don’t be afraid to use more than one selective layer, this can really bring out vibrant colours if you use it right.

Just to get some more depth, I add a colour balance layer, again just subtly pushing the cyan and yellow up and not playing with the green too much. Then my usual last layers are with a vibrance and brightness/contrast - I’m usually quite generous with contrast so I can bring out the different shades and it makes things a little more vibrant too.

This next step is really important when colouring people with dark skin - you want to lower the redness from their skin so they don't look unnaturally orange, as you can see here:

There is a fantastic tutorial here about colouring dark skin tones and avoiding the orange-washed look, and I recommend all gif makers to take note! It's difficult especially when doing rainbow gifs, and it takes some practice. I do this with a hue/saturation layer, and specifically targeting red and yellow and reducing saturation. I might need to play with selective colour or colour balance to get it right. Luckily Eli doesn’t move around too much, so I can use a mask to adjust only his face. 

And that’s the end product! now just ignore me as I re-upload the green gif in my set so you don’t see such a horrible jaudiced skin tone sldkfjsldkf

Yellow gif - Karli vs Sam

I'm gonna be completely honest here - this gif was very tricky to do. I actually have about three different versions of it. At first I thought "this is the yellow gif so I'm only going to have yellow tones", and did selective colour to get rid of any traces of green AND red, because I didn't want any orange at all. It ended up looking quite dull:

I mean.. yeah it’s yellow........... but it’s kinda boring. So I deleted all adjustments and watched the raw gif, and noted the orange light contrasting with the pale light. The raw gif itself already had some beautiful lighting - why get rid of it? It depends on what you want, but I like my rainbow gifs to have a different colour there to contrast with the main colour. 

Starting off with a hue/saturation layer with saturation 100+, I can see there are clearly yellows and reds and a bit of green on the ceiling. 

I thought the contrast of the orange and pale lighting was too good to mess up so I started with that. My first layers are vibrance and brightness/contrast to exaggerate the silhouettes and bring out the colours that are already there. 

I added a channel mixer layer to narrow down the colours. I wanted to fill the white bits with yellow, and with channel mixer I’m able to manipulate colours into something else while still looking natural and blended. I won’t be doing too much colour manipulating here so the settings are very minimal. I don’t know how to explain it but it just takes a little fiddling to figure out what works for your gif. You’ll notice the white reflections on the ceiling are now a solid yellow colour:

Next is a colour balance layer. I'm basically trying to bring out the yellow out. This is really just trial and error. I added a bit of magenta to bring the depth of the orange colours in the darker shades:

Now for selective colour. I'm often adjusting all of these while hiding/showing the hue/saturation layer I have kept at the bottom. This time, I’m aiming to subtract the reds and bring it down to a warm orange, and I do that by bringing it towards cyan/away from red, and away from magenta/towards green. 

Then I max out the yellows so it becomes the most dominant colour. I've also manipulated the green to make sure it is excluded from the gif - again, checking with the hue/saturation layer at the bottom, while keeping my eye on the ceiling and other places where I’ve noticed green lurking about. I don’t want any unwanted shades ending up in the final colour table.

Finally, I finish with yet another vibrance and brightness/contrast layer, just because I like things bright and vibrant!

And there it is! The orange is still there and adds a contrast, but you can tell that the main colour is the yellow. This gif seems very straightforward but I assure you, it took me quite a while to get this one right. This gif was a joy to work on because Sam was so very extra in this fight sequence lolll

Pink gif - suspicious mechanical grenade? idk

While this gif may look simple, it actually took a couple of tries before I got the colouring right. You'll notice when the ball activates, there is a bright green light that highlights the gas released and it reflects on the chair legs and carpet.

At first I tried this with the above mentioned selective colour method - which I thought turned out okay but it didn't sit with me right. Notice the reflection of the blue light on the carpet - it definitely isn't blue and more like a green-orangey kinda colour, and it doesn't look natural at all.

So I re-started from the beginning and had a look at what I’m working with, starting with hue/saturation at saturation +100. I can see that the original gif has red and green as the dominant colours, with yellow bits blending the two on the carpet. That’s what I was having issues with the selective colour - so I’ll be doing it differently. 

Enter: channel mixer. I’m gonna be honest............. I have ZERO idea how the channel mixer really works! It’s all a matter of trial and error, but I’ll try and explain my process step by step. 

I normally start in the blue channel (again - no idea why, it just works for me). I start with the reds, and I know if I go over 0, it will push the reds towards cyan, which will get it more purple-y:

Ooooh looking good!!! then I want to push the greens towards magenta, so that needs to go over 0 as well:

Woohoo! It’s already starting to look good. The green light and the way it blends into the red/pinks have all been completely changed into the cyan hues, so there’s a perfect reflection you can see on the carpet! Yay! I had a fiddle with the green and red channels but nothing too drastic. Here are the settings:

Even with just the single adjustment, I was already pretty happy with it and only did a few touch ups: I added a selective colour layer to bring out a more pinky-purpley colour, then a levels layer to brighten things up. It might seem very backwards to add a brightening tool at the end, but I didn’t want to mess up the original colour shades because I liked having the dark shadows lit up by the ball’s light.

And that’s it! Only three adjustment layers, but it took some time to play with the different adjustments and what worked best. Channel mixer can be really intimidating but it works like a charm when you manage to figure it out.

the end!

Finally I have to give credit to some amazing content creators and their brilliant colouring tutorials that have made such a huge impact in the way I edit. Some brilliant guides include:

this colouring tutorial by @favreaus​​ 

this colouring tutorial by @inejz-ghafa​​ 

this colouring tutorial by @meliorn​​

​I hope this tutorial has been helpful! I’ve tried to explain myself as best I can, but let me know if you’d like any clarification or have any questions. I’m still learning how to do things, and honestly most times it’s just randomly clicking things until something works out! 

[combat-wombatus]

A Little Confession

Pairing: Iida Tenya x gn!reader

Genre: a lil angst, fluff

Warnings: none!

WC: 1.5k

Summary: You missed your best friend. Iida seemed to be avoiding you, and a late-night cuddle sesh may be just the thing to get him to fess up.

(A/N): akjhfskjdhflakjhlkjhfd this took me 2 weeks and it’s like 1.5k words help-

i can’t like deal ok this is absolutely terrible and i’m just...posting this because I NEED TO GET RID OF MY WRITER’S BLOCK DAMMIT

forgive my sins...idk if y’all really want to read this ALKDJFHAKJ it sucks but...yeah...just needed to get something out too...

this is for my new year’s event btw (yes i realize we’re halfway through january already i still have 30 asks sitting in my inbox staring at me like 🧍🏻‍♀️i promise i’m not ignoring them i just...suck at writing-

6: “You knocked on my door, at 2 in the morning, to cuddle?”

You tossed and turned in your bed, the restless energy from tonight still invading your thoughts. You found it hard to believe what had happened.

Over the course of the week, your classmate had been kidnapped, All Might’s true form had been revealed, more of your classmates risked their lives to perform a rescue operation (albeit successful) of their kidnapped classmate, a formerly-believed-to-be-dead supervillain showed up and basically demolished an entire city with a quirk you hadn’t thought would be possible, and now you had all moved into dorms for your own safety.

If that wasn’t overwhelming, you weren’t sure what else could possibly be considered so.

To make it all worse, your best friend, the rule-abiding, goody-two-shoes hero-in-training, had been a part of the rescue operation. The rescue operation that most definitely broke the rules.

You were worried about him. Not his sudden change in attitude (you had felt that the orderly behavior would succumb to recklessness sooner or later), but with the fact that he didn’t tell you about his involvement until it was already over and done with.

Of course, that could’ve been because you were with Hagakure and Jirou, passed out in the hospital from a villain’s gas quirk, but that didn’t mean your phone was broken.

It would’ve taken one text.

Just one.

One that he never sent.

Sighing, you flipped over on your unfamiliar mattress again, trying to clear your mind so you could fall asleep. It was close to 2AM, and if you continued like this, you wouldn’t have enough energy to stay awake in class tomorrow.

He doesn’t have to tell me anything! You tried to reason with yourself. It was his business! Besides, it’s not like I could’ve helped.

But what if he’d gotten hurt?

What if you weren’t there to save him from his reckless decisions?

You hadn’t even seen him since that incident, and he hadn’t reached out by text either.

Did he not want to associate with you anymore?

Unwelcome thoughts plagued your head, making it impossible for you to get any sleep. Sighing to yourself, you quickly threw back your covers, tossed on a cozy cardigan, and shoved your feet into your fuzzy slippers. The restlessness had made you hungry, and since you couldn’t sleep, food was the next best thing.

Quietly making your way into the halls, you shuffled in the direction of the kitchen, careful not to wake your classmates. You’d almost made it to the elevator when you spotted a faint glow coming from inside Iida’s room.

He’s still awake too?

Steeling your nerves, you raised a fist and rapped on his door lightly. A chair screeched, and moments later, Iida answered the door in a nightcap and pajamas.

“(Y/N)?” His eyebrows were drawn in a frown. The gesture made the heavy bags under his eyes look even more prominent, and the sight made your heart clench.

“Ten…what’s wrong?”

He adjusted his glasses, looking uncomfortable. “I’m afraid I don’t quite understand you. There’s nothing wrong.”

You saw through his fib, but you chose not to call him out on it. He’d tell you when he was well and ready.

“Then…can we cuddle?” You voiced hopefully. You’d missed him more than you cared to admit, and being rather touch-starved the past week, you longed for his familiar strength.

Iida, for his part, looked confused. “You knocked on my door at 2 in the morning…to cuddle?”

“Mhm,” you yawned. Stepping past his door, you swiftly wrapped your arms around his solid frame, relaxing in his scent.

“(Y/N) …” he awkwardly closed the door with one hand, the other wrapped around your back. “We aren’t supposed to be in each other’s rooms.”

You murmured noncommittally into his chest. You could deal with the repercussions later.

After a moment of internal debate, Iida rested his other hand on top of your head, rubbing soothing circles and slightly mussing your hair.

“Missed you,” you mumble, voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

Iida cleared his throat, desperately trying to get rid of the lump that was building in it. Hugging you tighter, he rested his chin atop your head.

“I missed you too.”

After a while, you tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

“‘m still hungry,” you mumbled sleepily, nuzzling your face into his chest.

Iida chuckled. Some things never change.

“I’ll go grab something,” he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Go sit on the bed, okay?”

“Mhm…” You sat down on his bed. His sheets smelled like detergent and eucalyptus, an intoxicating aroma that made you even sleepier than before.

“Don’t think he’ll mind if I just…lie down…” Kicking off your slippers, you curled up on his mattress. You’d only closed your eyes for a second before you drifted off into sleep, hands clutching the warm blankets.

“I got some cheese and-” Iida stopped in the doorway, holding a packet of cheese and some crackers. “Oh.”

His eyes settled upon your dozing form. He carefully set down the snacks, then quietly padded over to the bed. Gingerly sitting down as to not wake you, he shifted the blankets over your body, a gentle warmth filling his heart.

He didn’t want to acknowledge how much he missed you either. He wasn’t a selfish person. He really wasn’t. But for you, no matter how hard he tried, he found it hard to not be selfish.

Slowly, he laid down on the bed next to you, trying to keep a respectable distance: not an easy feat to accomplish, given his size.

Taking in your peaceful expression, he found it in him to finally fall asleep, grounded by your presence, just a fingertip away.

You woke up to Iida’s breath tickling your cheeks, his arms wrapped snugly around your torso. Shifting slightly, you gently lifted one of the arms caging you in and slid off the bed, padding to the bathroom.

When you returned, he was still asleep. The lines of his jaw were softer than usual, making him look…relaxed. You resisted the urge to snap a picture right then and there.

Your weight settling on the bed stirred him from his slumber.

“Hmm…(Y/N)? What…oh.” He blinked blearily.

“You didn’t wake me up yesterday?” You asked softly, resting your head atop his chest.

Iida flushed. “Ah…no. You looked tired, and it was late, and, well…I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Ten, you know you could’ve. I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I would’ve,” he whispered.

This time, it was your turn to blush.

He didn’t stop at that.

“(Y/N) …I…I don’t want to be a bad influence.”

You stilled. What?

“You…a bad influence?” You giggled. “Ten, where did that come from?”

He breathed out a sigh. “I…I never told you, did I?”

“Told me what?”

“This isn’t…this isn’t the first time. This isn’t the first time I…participated…in vigilante activity, (Y/N). This isn’t the first time I stepped outside the bounds of the law to complete my own agenda.” He admitted with a pained expression.

“Ten…are you telling me that you’re a vigilante?”

“Not really, no.” He winced. “(Y/N) …do you remember Stain?”

“Stain? The Hero-Killer?” You dug deep into your memories, trying to remember what was so important about Stain.

Oh.

“Is this about your brother?”

Iida grimaced. “I…I may have left out the entire story about my internships.”

“What happened?” You had an inkling about what he was going to say, but you didn’t want to make assumptions yet.

“I interned at Hosu City, even though I received better offers…because I’d heard news about Stain operating there. I wanted revenge, (Y/N). I wasn’t…I wasn’t a hero at all. There’s something about misguided justice that pumps you full of adrenaline, and I made several rash decisions. But after the fact? I regretted all of them.” Iida clenched his eyes shut, but two shiny tracks still snaked their way down his cheeks, marking dark splotches on his pillow.

“Ten…”

“And that’s just it. I regretted what I did, but then I had to go and do it all again. Genius, right?” He scoffed at himself. “I’m a terrible influence, (Y/N). I…I don’t want to ruin your future.”

“Stop it.” You hugged him tight, burrowing your face into his chest. “I don’t think that you’re a terrible influence at all. You did save him, didn’t you? Without you…do you really believe that Bakugou would’ve made it out safely if you hadn’t gone?”

“I…”

“Stop being so hard on yourself, Tenya. You’re braver than you give yourself credit for. And yes, you were reckless. Yes, you made rash decisions. But that’s not enough to measure your whole life by. And, in the end, you did accomplish something for the greater good, right?”

A small smile played at the edge of his lips. He pressed a small kiss onto your forehead.

How lucky he was to have you.

“Thank you, (Y/N).”

He almost said something else after his expression of gratitude. Three simple words, whispered in his head, that he didn’t yet have the courage to confirm out loud.

I love you.

Coco’s 20-21 New Year’s Celebration

Masterlist

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[midnightsgift]

I just read your analysis on Yohan cherishing his last moments with his niece since he thinks he's going to die and now I'm emo again 😭 pls pls let Yohan and Elijah live, also I saw a theory that Gaon was instead going to sacrifice his life saving the two since Soohyun died anyway, what do you think about that?

i think you're referring to my post about Yo-han and that dinner scene, if u are then yh it makes me emo to knowing Yo-han is finally at a stage where i think he's letting his walls crumble himself only to perhaps die/betrayed in the final episodes.

Idk if u want me to ramble so you don't have to read all my word vomit and skip down to where I answer your question. If not enjoy the ride.

We initially see external forces (NON Yo-han characters) trying to infiltrate this wall be it Sun-ah, Ga-on and even the House keeper at times. And we'd usually see these met with resilience (on Yo-han's part) and the only times he'd 'tolerate' it would mean it be beneficial to him/his plans and even then it wouldn't be with open arms. Take the scene where Sun-ah asks him to be kinder to her, or the Jenga scene, very different, however even in the Jenga scene we're met with that resilience to remind us that Yo-Han does not need anyone, or one step further Yo-Han would like everyone around him to believe he does not need them.

We the visibly see this change when he apologies to Elijah. The first apology is prompted by Ga-on, but episode later once Ga-on leaves Yo-han makes that decision by himself (Internal forces). His image that he has created is no longer more important that the relationship he has with his niece or how his niece sees him. And as heart-breaking it is to see him still be turned away it depict a realistic reaction from a hurting child. This is also shown when he offers to cook/ask Ga-on if he want food. I'd also like to highlight the importance that it was through food he attempted to comfort Ga-On. I could also write more on that but i don't think most ppl would want to hear that so we move.

Answer:

So, i would hope that none of them die, and already we've seen 2 'keyish' characters die and idk whether to interpret as we're safe or that alot more blood is to be shed. If one of them (Ga-on and Yo-han) was to die I would be more scared it would be Yo-han. If you asked me from the beginning of the show till about the time he got shot i’d be heavily inclined (90:10 spilt) that if either we’re to die it be him. I don’t think this is rooted in many ‘hints’ from the show but from having watched other shows and personally I find it more satisfying to watch a character like him die. Fucking heart-breaking but none the less satisfying due to the fact his life revolves around this idea of him completing this mission. However if anything was to hint at his death it would be the whole Christian  symbolism we see all the time from the show. And if we remember Judas comment from earlier, if Ga-on is his Judas the he must be Jesus. We often hear Yo-Han talk about how nobody is not sinful and i don’t exactly want to say this religion believe this or that, but there is the belief that Jesus died for everyone's sins, and it may not be in the same way but i feel like there a link there. I also think Yo-han dying to save Ga-on would be a nice (not exactly parallel) parallel to Yo-han unable to save Isaac. I would like to add any of the 3 we’re to die i feel like them doing it to save each other would be valid.

So I implied i’m leaning less to Yo-han dying but i’d say it’s still a 75:25 spilt to him. Ga-on dying to save Yo-han and Elijah, seems like the only way i’d accept his death. I don’t think it’d be such a clear cut consequence but i do see Ga-on sacrifice himself to indirectly save them. IDk if that makes sense. The fact that Soo-hyun has died to me actually makes it seem like his death would have less of an impact, yes they could play up the relationship with other characters but it would seem almost cheap for him to die. Especially as his character keeps flipping sides, i feel unless in the least two episodes they really solidify where he stands it doesn’t have a great pay-off IDK maybe i should have more faith in the writers but Ga-on dying doesn’t seem like the appropriate thing to do. 

As i was correct my spelling mistakes I though of another scenario and that would be if one of them killed the other. For Ga-on to die by Yo-han’s hands would be ‘great’ to see. It would have link well to scene where we see Yo-han warning Ga-on that he obliterates those that stand in his way, but also it play for great betrayal from Yo-han who otherwise is kinda quite Loyal. It would also parallel nicely to the card scene in a similar way Soo-hyun’s death did to Ga-on and hers last meal together.

[commanderserwin]

again.

↦ pairing(s): eren yeager x reader

↦ word count: 2.6k

↦ request by: @bellbee​ - Could you write a scenario about Eren breaking up with his s/o because of Ymir's curse? He doesn't want her to be stuck to him after he die and, knowing that she won't let him, he asks others not to tell and lies to her saying he doesn't love her anymore, but Armin tells her the truth. She confronts Eren with anger, they argue, but resolve everything by idk 😂 i trust you to decide.

↦ author’s note(s): set right after the ending of s3, so the end is kinda vague. thank you for your request and i hope that you like!!!

╍╍╍╍╍╍╍╍╍╍╍

“I don’t love you.” 

“Eren... I don’t understand.”

“How do you not understand? I don’t love you!”

“Eren!”

“We’re teenagers! What do you even know about love?!”

Eren breathed hard, turning away from you as he stared ahead at the night skies, inching away from you. He has started to count his years. He’s worried that the years he has left isn’t enough for him and for you. He gripped the wooden fence, his knuckles turning white as he heard your tiny sobs. He closed his eyes, hoping that his own tears won’t fall. But when he opened his eyes, he whipped around, looking for you, and his heart broke when he already saw you walking away from him. 

╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾

The sunlight hit your room through the open windows, shining the shimmer of an another bright new day. But, it wasn’t exactly the brightest day you have. Last night was one of the worst nights that has ever happened. You didn’t want to think that it’ll come to this. As much as you overlooked the signs, the cold-shoulders, the silence, you don’t have it in you to face the truth. What good did it even bring? Now look, you were a crying mess. Swollen eyes, sniffles, and a heavy heart. The most heaviest you have ever felt, it was suffocating, it was as if somebody has curled your heart into their palm, closing in and in, until you couldn’t breathe anymore. 

That was when you cried out loud. No care of who will ever hear you. Placing the your palms over your eyes, you cried laying down, feeling your tears run down through your eyes and ears, as you tried to steady your breathing, but you couldn’t. It just hurts so much. It feels like your heart was getting stabbed repeatedly, until it bled out into cries and tears. It was all too much. 

You pushed yourself off of the bed, feeling heavy as ever. You sat up, gathering every thing in yourself to stand up, as you sobbed quietly. You closed your eyes, taking deeper breaths as you count one to ten. You were already late for the morning call, but you didn’t care, as you struggled to stand up and head to the bathroom. You couldn’t help but cry a little more as you bathe, pushing yourself to go outside, as if nothing has happened. You bit down on your palms to shut your cries when somebody knocked on the door. 

“Hey,” a familiar voice said, knocking softly on the bathroom door, “Everybody is looking for you. Are you all right?”

It was Mikasa. She knocked again, until she heard a little whimper. You inhaled deeply, wiping down the foggy mirror as you examined your blood-shot eyes, wiping away the stray tears, as you smiled softly to see your reflection. The only thing wrong is your eyes, and you could easily say you stupidly rubbed your eyes still with soap, hoping that they’ll believe somehow the stupidest lie. You wiped yourself clean, dressed yourself in your uniform as you dried out your hair. 

Mikasa was still waiting, sitting on the edge of the bed, tapping lightly on her boots. She perked up then her expression fell without fail, as she took your broken down figure. She smiled once more, trying to shake away her thoughts as you smiled gently to her. 

“Sorry!” You gushed, putting your towel away, smiling sheepishly, “I must’ve overslept.” 

She nodded, agreeing as she smiled. “Captain Levi already gave you a punishment.” 

“Punishment?”

“Punishments,” she corrected herself, standing up as you finished harnessing your belts, “Stable duty. Kitchen duty. Laps around until you give up, the usual.” 

Mikasa stood in front of you, holding you by the shoulders, already feeling you crumble down, but you fought to give her back a shaky smile. She nodded, wiping away a tear at your right eye. She patted your shoulders one last time as she stared deeply on to you, “I’ll run with you, don’t worry. But we have to go now because Sasha has been eating more lately,” she smiled, as she pushed you gently to the door, ushering the both of you out, “You don’t want to miss on breakfast.” 

Everybody greeted you with various jabs on how you overslept, joking how they could still see the imprints of your pillow and blanket, but you only rolled your eyes at them, grabbing a plate in the kitchen as Mikasa followed, grabbing another plate as well. You stood outside the kitchen door, examining— looking for Eren. Is he here? 

But there he was. Laughing. Smiling. Joking around at the usual table, as he vividly talked about the experiments with Armin who also laughed. Armin’s eyes caught you for a second, and his expression dropped with Eren following his graze. 

That second feels like the world has stopped for the both of you while everybody’s time moved. There was chatter, there was laughter, banging on the table as they joked, but the second that you shared with Eren felt like eternity. You looked at Mikasa who tapped you on the shoulder, “Do you want to sit any where else?” 

“No!” You lied, biting down on your lip, looking incredulously at her, “What do you mean? We always sit over at our table.” 

Mikasa followed the point of your finger as you walked towards it, greeting Sasha and Jean as Connie continued to babble about, defending Sasha who is just listening intently. She smiled at you, her eyes faltering softly as you sat beside her and Mikasa. The conversation went on as usual, hearing Eren talk at the end of the table with Armin as you answer and nod a little when Jean and Connie are talking. Little by little, their voices faded out, as you idly eat the food, just perking up when Captain Levi barked orders, specifically at you, to start your kitchen duty. 

Everybody cleaned up, helping by doing their part as you headed to the kitchen to begin you cleaning. Mikasa joined you, as well as Armin, who started their conversation, sometimes asking for your opinion to get you to talk. Armin leaned in to your side, turning you around to face him. Mikasa jumped on the counter, listening to what Armin has to say. 

“Eren told me.” 

“Eren?” You blinked, wiping your wet hands on your apron. You shook your head, “Told you what?” 

“The reason he broke up with you,” Armin whispered, jumping on the counter beside Mikasa. He took note of your shaky breaths, and he debated if he should continue or not, but he chose to let you know. Armin gently explained why Eren broke up with you, and you listened, his voice fading out in a whisper as he hurriedly look at the door. 

“Armin,” his voice called out. Eren stood by the door frame, his eyes flitting towards yours and back to Armin, “Let’s go. Jean’s starting a game.”  

Armin nodded hesitantly, as he passed by you, his blue eyes sympathetically saying goodbye. He wanted to ask how you were, considering how Eren was one of the earliest outside the field, practicing his skills, and when he got closer to Eren, that was when he saw that he was crying. Eren immediately wiped away his tears, shaking his head slowly as he practiced again. Armin waited, and waited until Eren dropped to the ground, knees to his chest and arms folded where he rested his forehead on. Armin sat down beside Eren, listening to him sob, waiting if he wants to talk about it. Eren eventually opened up, counting his years left in between his sobs. 

“I can’t do that to her,” he murmured, wiping away his tears as Eren played idly with the rocks next to his feet. “Eight years, Armin? And who knows about what’ll happen tomorrow?”

“There’s no guarantee,” Armin began, turning his full attention to Eren, “But it doesn’t have to end that way.” 

Eren knew about that. But there really is no guarantee. What happens tomorrow? The other day? If worst comes to worst and one you... he couldn’t think about. He’s a coward for thinking like that, but he was also thinking of you. When it comes to you, you were always first for him. He wants you by his side, laughing by your side, training even, smiling proudly when you straddle him, crossing your arms in victory as he was defeated. It’s the little things that he missed, but he was willing to let it all go to save you. 

“Let’s go,” Eren stood up, offering his hand to Armin. He wiped his snot and tears away with his sleeve, and bumped his shoulder to Armin’s. “Just like the usual, huh?” 

╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾

It continued on like that. Everybody already suspected, but you paid no attention to them. Eren laid his hands on whoever would snicker away, pathetically joking about your sulking emotion every time you emerged from your room or into the mess hall. 

But every thing changed when there was called for another expedition, just to secure the perimeter, but there was problem when a horde of titans came your squad’s way. There was too many and too little that Eren transformed as he leaped into the air. The rest of your squad followed his lead, branch to branch, and successfully slicing the titan’s neck dead. From jumping on trees endlessly, your gear sputtered loudly, signaling that you’re running out of gas. 

You stopped at a branch, examining the situation as to where you would call on to help. You watched Eren in his titan form fought alongside his comrades, helping them cut off. But he was looking around, turning his head, until he saw you by the branch, checking your gear. He punched a titan on his way and jogged towards you, his arm out for you to grab on. 

You could never get used to Eren in his titan form, but this time, you looked immensely at its form, taking note of his physical characteristics that still reminds you that this is Eren. You jumped from the branch, and Eren caught you delicately with his hand, not missing you punch one titan as it came his way. He placed you on his soldier, as you grabbed on his hair. He turned to look at you while he ran, checking if you were fine. If you were hurt. 

“I ran out of gas,” you shouted over his loud running, clutching to his ear and hair. He nodded and ran, killing titans on the way. 

Once it was done, you leaped from his shoulder, quick enough that he didn’t see you. He knelt down, transforming right back into a human, running after you.

He eventually caught up with you, “[Y/N].”

No matter how far, you’d always hear his voice. You stopped in your tracks, turning around slightly. You didn’t miss the way Eren’s lip turned, as he ran to you. “We need to talk.” 

You wanted to explode, right there and then. Everything that you have tried to bury deep down, the feelings, the love, the hurt— it’s creeping right back up. You couldn’t bare to look at him for one more second, feeling your tears well up. 

“Talk?” 

“I need to talk to you.”

Eren exhaled deeply, as you watched him with wary eyes. You wanted to shut him out, just like he did to you, but the least that you could give yourself was closure. You crossed your arms, standing your ground, eyes away from the other cadets watching, “Talk.” 

“Not here,” he hurriedly said, grasping your arm. “Not here, when we get back to the base. At our spot.” 

You took his hand off of your arm, dropping it to his side. “Fine.” 

“Okay!” Eren nodded, ruffling his hair, “I’ll come and get you-.” 

You looked at Eren, listening to him ramble with furrowed eyes, and you walked away. Just like he did to you. Maybe it was immature of you, but, you wanted for him to know how much it hurts. 

╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾╼╾

The dark skies and the stars twinkled brightly, the crisp air making your hair flow with the wind as you sat on the ground, picking at the grass. You heard footsteps, and you didn’t too look who it was when you stood up again, folding your arms across your chest. Eren stopped beside you, breathing hard. 

“I came by to your room,” he groaned, breathing deeply as he wiped his sweat off, “You weren’t there.” 

You stayed quiet, turning to look at him. That shut him up. He could already see you eyes tearing up, until you cried silently, your hands covering your face, as you cried. You didn’t want to cry in front of him, but seeing him so close, acting as if things are okay, made you cry. You felt Eren pull you to him, his arms wrapping around your shoulders, his cheek resting on your temple, as he felt you shake and sob in his embrace. He felt himself tear up a little, and when he realize that it hurt you like this. 

Eren soothed your hair, still hugging you as he whispered, “I’m sorry for hurting you.” 

All you could see was red. 

“Sorry?” You pushed away from him, wiping at your tears angrily. “You didn’t think that maybe I wanted to know?” 

“Know?” Eren blinked, wiping his own tears. 

“I know, Eren!” You said angrily, pushing him away, “Ymir’s curse? Eight years?” 

“I didn’t know what to do!”

“You could’ve told me,” your voice cracked, pointing at yourself, “You could’ve told me, Eren. I would’ve listened. I would’ve appreciated it more if you explained.” 

“I would’ve! But I didn’t want you to see me die, deteriorate! Who knows what will happen to tomorrow?”

“Die?” You seethed, “Die? Who told you I wouldn’t want to be with you? Were you even thinking about me? What care do I have of tomorrow if I could’ve had eight years with you?” 

“I wanted to make it easier for you.”

“So, should I thank you, then? Should I thank you for shielding me away from your inevitable death, then beating myself up on where did I go wrong for why you broke up with me?” 

Eren pulled you to him, hands wrapping around your shoulders, as you pushed him away. But he was stronger. 

“I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t love you. I broke up with you, because... I love you. I wanted to protect you the best that I could if I ever have to say goodbye. I couldn’t bring myself to do that to you.” 

You were silent but he filled it again, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

You pulled away, looking deeply at Eren. There are so many things running through your mind. Not really knowing what else to think the right way. He looked sadly, as you nodded. His apology and reason was the only thing you ever needed. You understood his part. When Armin told you about Ymir’s Curse and the implications of it, it worried you deep down. You weren’t crying anymore for yourself but for Eren. You were crying because he was living in a definite time. You wouldn’t want him to worry any more, even if it hurts. So you stood your ground. 

“Eren,” you whispered against his chest. Feeling it beat hard, fast, as he longed for your voice. You’re thinking of so many things, but you’ve set yourself on this. Maybe this is what you both needed, “Will you come find me, soon?”

Soon, when the time is right. When the time is right for the both of you. 

[matchasprouts]

Listen Closer - Chapter 5

[ can't stop won't stop. when will Lawrence not get cockblocked by Nar <///3 ]

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Luckily for all of them, Garrett did finish that furnace before the day was over. He managed to check the trigger on the fire right before passing out face down on his bed. He told them they’d just move it to the house in the morning.

It wasn’t morning when they moved it, but it got moved out of his room at the very least before he was running out to get to his real job. He was definitely going to be late, but at least he wouldn’t have to deal with that giant machine in his living space anymore. Mark and Amanda could figure out how to get it to the house themselves.

“You’re late,” one of his coworkers teased as he clocked in and he just rolled his eyes. “And you look like shit. How do you live like this?” they continued, receiving a short glare from Garrett.

He didn’t necessarily hate his coworkers, but he wasn’t friends with them either. “Easily,” he replied shortly, leaving no more room for conversation as he clipped his nametag on his shirt and got to work.

Normally he wasn’t so short with them, but he was tired and wanted to get on with the day so he could help with the final preparations for the game.

The day went by quickly, especially because Nar remembered he had his phone number and would occasionally send him pictures of Amanda working, or a joking picture of Hoffman’s ass. He even received a picture of Lawrence ranting about something, probably a bad hospital show. Stuff like that always got him through the day.

“Is that your new boyfriend?” The coworker from earlier, Nadia, asked when they got a glimpse of one of the Hoffman ass pics. They backed off at the look Garrett gave them.

“No.” That was where he left it, putting his phone in his pocket and getting back to work. He was very lucky that Nadia didn’t get the chance to see him turn bright red at the mere idea of Hoffman being his boyfriend.

It was around 5pm when Garrett finally got off, practically running out of the bookstore and heading directly for his car. He was kind of aware of Nadia trying to talk to him as he sped out of the door, but didn’t care enough to stay put.

He was partly rushing so much because he needed to help finish the trap, but mostly because right before his shift ended, he’d gotten a text from Nar:

‘help gordon is trying to walk and idk what to do, he’s just hobbling around with his lil prosthetic help-’

He TOLD Gordon to wait until he could help him, and now he was speeding toward the base, two miles away from being pulled over for how fast he was driving. Plus there was the fact that the other two apprentices weren’t supposed to know about him, according to John, and the picture attached to the text showed him one of the main work rooms.

Fucking idiot, Gordon was supposed to be smart and here he was, being the dumbest bitch in the Jigsaw house, stepping way too close to getting killed.

---

… Apparently the other apprentices weren’t home.

Amanda was already at the Nerve Gas House to help with finishing touches, and Hoffman was at the precinct to “help” with the newest Jigsaw case, meaning Gordon was not in danger of being killed.

Garrett still scolded him.

“I can’t believe you!” He hissed as Gordon leaned into his side, trapped by the arm across his back and the hand placed on his midriff. “I told you! I told you not to try to move around without my help! You know Nar can’t support your weight!!”

Gordon just chuckled at him, the gravelly sound just pissing him off more rather than flustering him like usual.

“Lawrence!! This isn’t a joke!!! I’m genuinely worried about your dumb ass!!!!” Garrett continued, his voice slightly more high pitched in annoyance. Gordon just laughed at him again, making him huff as he practically dragged the doctor back to his room.

It was when he was finally sat down that Gordon said something. “I know you’re worried, but I wasn’t going to call you out of work just so I can walk around.”

“Wh- That’s what I expected you to do!!” Garrett countered, almost offended at the idea that Gordon thought his job was more important than him. “You literally can’t walk without help, and you’ve been bedridden for months! You don’t even have a cane yet!”

Gordon was just watching him at this point as he continued to list off reasons he should have been called, a small smile on his face at how animated Garrett got when he was passionate about something.

“... Why are you staring at me like that?” Garrett asked once he noticed Gordon’s gaze, his hands frozen midair in one of his wild gestures.

“You called me Lawrence.” Garrett’s eyes widened, he hadn’t even noticed. “And I like listening to your voice. I know you’re busy, but I wish you would visit more often, even if it was just to talk.”

Bro stop you’re scaring the hoes with attachment issues who are afraid of relationships (Garrett).

“Wh- I don’t-” Garrett’s stammering was cut off by Gordon’s lip suddenly connecting with his, and he mentally cursed himself for almost immediately melting into it.

The kiss didn’t last long because Gordon had stood up to reach Garrett, and he pulled back to sit back down on the bed, but that didn’t last long either.

As if he’d been waiting for it his whole life, Garrett practically lunged at the doctor, pulling him into another, slightly more desperate kiss. His hands were gripping Gordon’s shirt hard enough that it would definitely be forever wrinkled like that, and he was pretty much in the other man’s lap.

He was worried he was coming off too strong for all of two seconds, the concern dissipating when Gordon’s hands found his hips, holding him there in a tight grip.

Garrett had just begun to thread his fingers through Gordon’s hair- two seconds away from pulling at it- when there was a knock on the door.

Both of them jumped, Garrett shooting back like he’d been shocked. “I forgot we weren’t alone,” he whispered to Gordon, gaining a soft laugh from the doctor. Both of them took a moment to put themselves back together (when had Gordon started unbuttoning Garrett’s shirt?) before answering the door.

Nar glanced between the two of them, seemingly surprised that they looked like they had when they went in- luckily, the room was dark enough to conceal their flushed faces and Garrett’s very red lips.

“You done yelling at him?” he asked Garrett, who nodded in reply. “Good. John wants you at the Nerve Gas House, he wants you to set up the razor box.” Right. Garrett had forgotten about that.

He took one last glance at Gordon before sighing. “I’m so sick of that box,” he muttered, though he accepted his fate and headed out in far less of a frenzy than before. To be completely honest, he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to finish what he started with Gordon. But… the others needed his help, and he needed to give it.

That didn’t mean he didn’t spend the whole drive there thinking about the feeling of Gordon’s lips on his, and what else he could do to the good doctor the next time they were alone.

---

“Does that look good?” Garrett asked Hoffman once the razor box was attached to the ceiling, taking a few steps back to stand next to the detective.

He’d been having trouble with getting the box to hang evenly, which was a struggle he was no stranger to, so he’d brought Hoffman in to take a look at it.

The detective tilted his head slightly to the side as he inspected it, before letting out a soft hum. “You finally got it,” he confirmed, straightening back up. He didn’t flinch when Garrett let out a triumphant whoop, which was proof that one could get used to him quickly.

“You’re a godsend,” Garrett told him, slapping him on the shoulder before leaving the room, running down the hall to tell John and Amanda the good news. He could hear Hoffman following him, but absolutely did not slow down.

He skidded into the main room where John and Amanda were going over the plan for the thousandth time, almost tripping over his own foot and sending himself crashing into the ground. His only saving grace was Hoffman grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him back onto his feet.

John and Amanda stared at him like he was crazy for all of two seconds, before completely ignoring the fact that he almost just curbstomped himself into the floor. “I finally got the razor box straight,” Garrett spoke up, also acting as if he did not almost just die. “All my traps are good to go. Now, I desperately need sleep, so I’m gonna go home and take a two hour nap.”

He wasn’t. He was going to go back to his apartment and frantically draw up plans until he passed out from sleep deprivation at 2am. That was his permanent Jigsaw trap, one he could never escape from.

Wow. That was the most emo thought he’d had since middle school.

“Anyway. Good-bye.” With that, he turned on his heel and walked out of the house, but not after patting Hoffman- who had still been awkwardly standing behind him- on the chest, slipping a piece of paper into the front pocket of his shirt.

What was on it, you ask? A gay little doodle of Hoffman setting up the door gun. Why did he give it to him? He doesn’t know how to flirt. This is the best he’s got.

He went straight ‘home’ after that, a little annoyed he couldn’t go back to the base but also knowing that his neighbours were weirdly nosy and would “get concerned” if he didn’t show up to his apartment regularly.

Plus, his couch there was a really comfortable bed.

[satoruvt]

for now; forever -- teaser

pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader

word count → 1316 (full fic is ~9k!!)

genre → mostly fluff? a solid amount of angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to... something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry

synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely. 

warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown

a/n → AHHHH!!!! so excited to finally tell yall abt this ive been working on it for about a month now <33 the teaser is just like an honestly solid section of the fic itself, so. idk yeah!!!! i’m very excited i loved working on this i still have some editing to go but the full thing will be out soon <333 hope you enjoy!! let me know what u thought!!!!

DAY ONE.

So. You’re… out here, now.

Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors don’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.

You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend. 

He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.

“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”

The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed, what was best for you. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.

“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”

“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”

Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.

It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left. 

(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)

You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.

The hike takes almost the whole day. 

You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.

The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.

For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.

When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.

“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”

Right. The voice. Radio?

“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”

You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”

There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”

A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”

“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”

You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”

You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”

Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”

“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”

“Yeah!”

You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.

“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”

“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”

This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[fizzingwizard]

Digimon Adventure: Ep 19!

Wow! That certainly was an Episode!! It was pretty fun from start to finish, though nothing mind-blowing, but it was definitely the ending that made me gasp. Not wholly unexpected to an old turnip like me, but promising lots of fun (and angst!).

Picture of the week: MIKO, THE TRUE STAR OF THE SERIES!!

no for serious are the writers reading my reviews? they keep giving me what I want. within reason I guess. They seem to have an extremely limited budget as usual x’D

but Miko is still adorbs

ok I’m really looking forward to recapping this one so let’s get to it!

So last week I thought the kids sans Taichi and Yamato were abducted by Devimon, but apparently that either isn’t the case, or it was, but then Devimon decided it’s best just to dump the kids back on Earth and hold on to their partners. Because that’s the current situation. While concerning that the kids are separated from their partners, it’s probably best this way, since Devimon appears to be sending Gesomon(?) and Parrotmon(?)

to the human world, if I remember right. It’s hard to remember what happened in the first fifteen seconds kay So when the kids find their partners it will probably be in the human world and they can fight back.

Meanwhile Taichi and Yamato are alone and very Confuse

Taichi tries frantically to contact Koushirou. The others too... but especially Koushirou.

Finally he gets him!! He’s so happy!! My Taishiro heart flutters!

But I was fully expecting it to be a trap. When I saw this still here, my first thought was “Devimon’s forcing him to tell Taichi a lie by threatening him with a gun!!”

of course thats not whats happening. Koushirou is relatively fine and there are no guns (yet). What’s happened is the other kids have been sent back to the human world for reals this time!

This show is not even bothering to hide its Taiyama angle.

They spend the entire episode giving each other Significant Looks like this. The entire episode.

Now where’s Jou through all of this, you ask?

He went to talk to the police. He’s shocked they don’t believe his story about monster attacks and the world ending (well, at least Tokyo ending). I freaking love how taaaaall Jou is. Though it makes Koushirou look like a bean x’D

Jou = beansprout / Koushirou = bean

Koushirou has a much easier time dealing with the news that the police don’t believe them. He’s a denizen of the Internet. He knows how people’s minds work. And he has tons of chat logs to prove it.

People are chatting and spreading gossip and disbelief and complaints, but my favorite is the comment that just says “It’s a flood of fake news” xP

The home team runs into Mama Yagami! Who Sora literally calls Mama Yagami! x’D I mean I know that’s how kids generally refer to their friends’ parents but I still lol’d.

So un... Jou is almost as tall as Mama Yagami. LMAO. I’m gonna assume she’s short. Jou might indeed be quite tall for his age but Sora and Mimi are pretty close to Mama Yagami’s height too. I guess we haven’t seen Taichi standing next to his mom yet! With his hair he’s probably taller than her.

So Mama Yagami is HILARIOUS and I’m so glad that’s a continuing thing in the reboot! She was already that way in 99 Adventure, but we’re just seeing a lot of it now - like every time she’s around. (And we didn’t see it in Tri so I missed that.) Basically she seems like a basketcase. Not a totally irresponsible one, more like just... generally the carefree go with the flow type. Which is not bad. She just also seems a bit, uh, ditzy?? I think Taichi probably grew to be so serious by necessity. Dad’s busy with work and someone’s gotta make sure mom doesn’t leave the house without her keys!

The way Sora just stares at Hikari like “explain??” after Mama Yagami thrusts Miko at her and runs off to get her car with a big smile as if they hadn’t all nearly died recently... bahahaha.

also I love how she doesn’t even bother asking her son’s good friend if she knows where he is after not seeing or hearing from him for three full days

^The face of a boy shouldering the weight of nuclear family life and all its batshitness

Taichi and Yamato determine their priority is find the Holy Digimon. I wish they were a little more concerned with what happened to their friends’ partners, but I guess this is the only goal with solid clues. Anyway before they can do anything they are attacked by Bulbmon Looks like subtitlers went with Valvemon which also works, who looks like a Lego monster creation by an eight year old (and probably is).

He has the Domo face. Grrraaah

Domo is NHK mascot by the way. bahahaha

Next these guys come swarming out of Valvemon. (And if we didn’t already get it, apparently Digimon can construct other Digimon as we’ve seen before.) Nothing is quite as freaky as gas masks. They are commanded by Minotaurmon/Mintaromon whatever.

They too have the aim of Stormtroopers though so our heroes will be fine...

... probably...

... then Leomon finally shows up!! Yay! He looks good! All beefy and scarred and sounding exactly like Zaraki Kenpachi. Uhh. Is it the same VA?? Nothing comes up in the Google search so maybe not but it sure sounds like him. (Minotaurmon and Ogremon also sound like Leomon... while it’s normal for VAs in kids shows to voice multiple characters esp minor ones, it literally sounds like Zaraki Kenpachi is the voice of all the characters in this episode besides the main ones. And Mama Yagami of course because that would be weird.)

Leomon may look cool, but his ride... and his friends... uh, less cool x’D I want to strangle that ostrich thing with its own scarf somehow it inspires violent emotion in me

In the smallest, most shocked voice, Yamato says, “Leomon...?” It’s honestly kind of adorable. He’s clearly remembering what Neemon said about Leomon leading the resistance way back when.

Leomon helps them escape. Taichi very considerately and cutely helps Agumon aboard the fashion disaster ostrich emu thing.

Yamato also considerately helps his partner but rather less cutely xD

Leomon takes them to his hideout and gives them your standard fare of weird-looking Digi fruit. He then proceeds to tell them about Devimon and that he is trying to infiltrate Valvemon yadda yadda.

Taichi is freaking ADORABLE, immediately concerned that by saving their asses, Leomon’s battle plans have been ruined. Leomon waves that aside though. Yamato is equally adorabibble when he asks after Neemon and gets told that they made it to Leomon safely.

Leomon plans to try to get into Valvemon again because he knows Devimon’s put something related to the holy Digimon in there. Taichi is determined to join in. He doesn’t have much of an argument as it why they should be allowed when they just got their butts kicked so easily, but he has a trick up his sleeve: the Burning Eyes of Fiery Passion.

Not to be outdone, Yamato shoots off his Icy Eyes of Cold Determination.

Faced with this twin assault, Leomon has to give in. Ahh, I remember last week when we saw the trailer for this ep and I naively thought Leomon would train them like Piximon did in 99 Adventure. Nope. They’ve just met and they’re already spy buddies.

Okay, okay, yeah Leomon does seem to have some knowledge of the “Chosen Children” and that’s his real motivation. Still.

They break into Valvemon and we get the excellent invention of Agumon riding on Garurumon. I assume because of Garurumon’s advantageous speed. That seems to be recurring thing in this show.

Idk I just capped this because he’s so darn cute

I don’t know why I capped this one though.

They enter some sort of central space where Leomon tells them something relevant to the holy Digimon is being kept. (Lol I already forgot the details of what he said.) There are two protectors, Minotaurmon and Bullmon. Leomon tells the kids to take Bullmon while he faces down Minotaurmon. These guys might have been somewhat intimidating if we hadn’t already got Perfect level evolutions mastered, not to mention the occasional Jogress :P Sooo I didn’t feel too worried.

... uh, never mind x’D Taichi what are you doing

Yamato saves his idiot butt and almost gets in a bind himself. Once again I’m just wondering why they are sticking at Adult level. Whatever. They win of course

Leomon uses his Fist of the Beast King to maim Minotaurmon. His brilliant one-liner? “I have more than one first.”

Bully: *punches you*

You: ow

Bully: *smirk* I have more than one fist.

You: That’s funny, I only have one, but it’s made of titanium *You punch the bully straight through the stratosphere* Quality over quantity!!!!

*cough*

Our heroes approach the secret compartment supposedly holding something to do with the holy Digimon... Yamato gets a look inside and gets the black shadow of true terror over his eyes

becaue floating inside like some kind of Weapon X experiment is... Takeru!!!

Hold on while I put in my ear plugs. Okay, ready, screech all you want now.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

So... okay. First of all, baby Takeru is sooooooo cute <3 I had two predictions about what happened to Takeru last week. Either he ended up in the digital world and was now on his own, or he got abducted by Devimon. I thought the former was more likely, but in hindsight, it should have been obvious that it was the second. This show misses a lot of points where I feel like they could have developed some relationships or thrown in some drama, but it never passes up a chance for Yamato angst.

So yeah, this is pretty much gonna destroy Yamato xD Not only is the baby brother he wanted to protect no longer at home where he can easily protect him, he’s now in the digital world and in the enemy’s clutches.

I BETTER SEE REALLY TRAUMATIZED YAMATO NEXT WEEK. Of course, I expect him to be cool-headed enough to try to save Takeru, but I will be very disappoint if this goes off with no break downs at all. Takeru is always Yamato’s number one priority!

Super exciteddddd

So I give this ep 7.5/10. The .5 is pretty much for ending with a killer cliffhanger. My one real complaint about this ep is how highly plot-based everything is - we finally got the team all together only to split them up, and on top of that, once split up, we don’t even get all that many character moments between Taichi and Yamato. As I said, they give each other lots of Signifcant Looks, but man cannot live on bread alone. However this is par for the course for this show and I know I should stop mentioning it every week because I doubt it’s changing. We will get the big shockers when we get them and not a moment before.

I just want Yamato to cry in front of Taichi and make him all uncomfortable x’D That’s what made 99 Adventure so great bahahaha

Some cool bits from next week’s trailer:

Surprise surprise, Angemon is the holy Digimon! Or one of, anyway. And he is indeed trapped. This makes the “Angemon is Devimon” theory less likely. Let’s not forget that our heroes’ Digimon partners were evidently a band of powerful warriors in the past, but they’ve forgotten much of it. I won’t be surprised if the result of that war played a part in Angemon’s abduction.

Next week they’ll have to fight to save Takeru from being drained, I guess.

And then!! Digi egg! Excite. Also I only just noticed that his hate says TK!!!

Takeruuu <3 My first fav when I was 10. Though my heart has belonged to Taichi for many long years, I still have a special spot in it for Takeru only <3 Even if he does dress like a celery stick

[we-are-inevitable]

modern art // javid (ch. 1)

A/N: hi !! so some of you may remember an old songfic i did in march of last year, titled ‘modern art’ after the song “IDK You Yet” by Alexander 23. well, i’ve always thought that that one shot would work great as a stand alone fic, and here we are! i have ch. 1 edited and SO MUCH of it as changed- like, for example, the fic is a chapter fic now !! regardless, i hope you guys like this !!

WARNINGS: depression, anxiety, self-deprecation, past addiction, mentions of addiction, just general Bad Times- pls be mindful when reading !! it’s just very Not Happy rn ADDITIONAL INFO: all characters are in their mid-twenties in the fic. oh also this is probably important but it’s a soulmate au !!

Read On AO3!

tag list: @bound-for-santa-fe @wannabecowboypunk @shippingcannons @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside @smallsies @deliciouspeachpirate @newsies-is-my-erster 

Jack doesn't know what’s going on with himself, but he knows that he could really use his soulmate right about now.

They’ve communicated before. Never verbally, and never enough to reveal who they were. Perhaps they are both just... dealing with some unspoken fears, dealing with the worry of rejection sitting heavy in their chests. Perhaps they both like this mystery- the uncertainty that came with the notes scrawled across their bodies in a handwriting that isn’t their own.

Or perhaps they just aren’t ready to take the plunge. To grow up and face the harsh fact that, as soon as they meet, wherever and whenever that may be, a new chapter of their life will unfold. Consume them. Change anything and everything they’ve ever known or held dear.

They had been braver when they were children, that much was true. Jack remembers staying up late often, writing notes on his skin and watching in awe as the replies appeared. He remembers the giddy rush of trying to quickly wash off the ink on his wrist when they ran out of space to talk, and, oh, how they talked. There were school days when Jack would go to class exhausted, feeling like he’d been walking through quicksand for miles on end, but all of it had been worth it. The exhaustion he felt had been worth being able to talk to them until two, three, four in the morning. Sometimes he regretted it, of course, but only because it was harder for him to focus in class. Never because he was upset at them.

He could never be upset with them.

Even now, Jack remembers a lot about his soulmate. They liked music. They knew how to play the piano. They were into a few video games, even some that Jack had never played, and said that they always tried carrying a book with them wherever they went. Jack remembers that, as a younger kid, they liked Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but also liked analyzing Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe and a bunch of other fancy authors that Jack had never even heard of. They were intimidatingly smart, and sometimes, would carefully correct Jack’s grammar whenever he misspelled a word or something- but they were never mean about it, they were just… there. A steady presence that he could count on.

Fifteen year old Jack dreamed of finding them one day. But now, twenty-five year old Jack is losing hope.

He can’t exactly help it. For starters, he and his soulmate haven’t communicated in… well, shit, it had to be nearly a year. Maybe nine months or so, but there’s no way to tell for sure, and even then, their conversations since reaching adulthood have been dull, for lack of a better word. A few positive comments here, a ‘have a good day’ there- it’s all so mundane, and neither of them can be blamed for it. They both have busy lives- or, well, Jack does, at least. His job as a graphic designer is hard enough on its own, but the added pressure of doing freelance work and commissions on the side has been eating away at him for weeks, coupled with debilitating self-doubt and lack of motivation for… anything.

Saying that he’s overwhelmed is the understatement of the century.

There is always another design, another client, another meeting, another deadline, another sleepless night as he stares at a blank canvas and prays for a spark of inspiration from whatever God is listening. Usually his inspiration comes from the world around him- his friends, city life, even the quiet confines of his apartment, but right now... Jack is stuck. He had holed himself up in his room days ago, trying and failing to get out of bed every morning when the time came to work- and thank God that the majority of his work could be done from home. His boss was understanding, too, to an extent.

Still, though, there’s a constant heavy weight on his chest that prevents him from moving most days, and he’s lucky if he even gets up long enough to shower or eat or do literally anything aside from lie in silence and count the cracks in his ceiling.

Nothing had happened to him recently to bring this on, from what he can tell. Jack has always been the happy-go-lucky leader, the man with a plan, the guy who always knew just what to say to motivate others into doing the best thing for themselves, but when that responsibility is reflected back onto himself, Jack feels helpless. There are words waiting to be said, sketches waiting to be drawn, designs waiting to be sent to clients… yet Jack lies there, motionless in his room for three days before he even has the energy, the willpower, to pull back his curtains and allow the sunlight to shine through. There is so much he wants to do, so much he needs to do, but he can't bring himself to do any of it.

In all twenty-five years of his life, through all of the things he’s been through, the ups and downs and foster homes and graduations and birthdays and funerals and therapists and rehab facilities and whatever the fuck else life decided to throw at him, Jack has never felt so worthless, so… lonely. His closest friends are all moving on with their lives. Many have already found their soulmate, have settled down and hidden their rowdy, rambunctious pasts behind skeletons in a closet. They’d all gotten their adventures done and over with in high school and college, and most are moving onto bigger and better things in life. They have careers. Families. Some have children, others have pets, a few have an insane amount of plants to care for.

All have seemingly left Jack behind in the dust.

No one told him when to flip the switch.

No one told him when he had aged out of adventure.

Now, they would never say it, but Jack knows. He knows. Saturday hangouts and trips to the bar had been replaced by Sunday church services and playdates for the kids. Rather than hearing yelling from his living room after his friends had all been teetering just on the edge between tipsy and fucked up, Jack hears the news, and documentaries, and podcasts, and the ghosts of a past life that he still seemed to be desperately clinging on to.

Katherine had been the one to tell him that he needed to grow up, though she didn’t put it in such a blunt manner. No, she’s just.... gently urging him to find a bigger apartment, or buy matching furniture from a place that is not a thrift store, or purchase dishes that weren’t of the plastic Walmart brand. She says it was because she wants to see him in a more professional, "adulty" lifestyle, but he knows it’s really because she can see that he’s a mess.

Deep down, Jack knows she’s right. She’s always right.

He just can’t help but feel cemented in place, dreaming of the past while dreading the new future ahead of him.

Jack never asked to feel so broken for no reason. All of the hope and optimism he had felt as a teenager was gone, lost in a sea of uncertain plans and shitty jobs and bill extensions and canvases dropped onto the floor with no rhyme or reason. And, yes, maybe Jack would look dramatic to someone who didn’t know his situation, but Jack knows what dramatic feels like. Dramatic feels like watching his best friend, Charlie, belt onstage in front of a backdrop that he helped create for the school play. Dramatic feels like laughing at the top of his lungs while walking through a random gas station at two in the morning, joined by Race and Al, all while higher than a kite. Dramatic feels like driving to the outskirts of the city with Katherine, climbing onto the roof of an old building and screaming about all of their stress, their anxiety, their insecurities, just to have some form of emotional release.

Dramatic doesn’t feel like sadness. It’s not supposed to.

Not for Jack.

He had been so… so happy, as a teenager. Proud and defiant and carefree. He was the kind of guy to skate and smoke weed in Central Park until midnight and take a math test at eight in the morning the next day. He was the kid who stood on a table in the cafeteria and came out as bisexual to everyone around him, just because of a dumbass bet that he didn’t even get paid for. He was the boy who wasn’t at all good in an academic sense, but who always knew how to talk himself out of trouble, who always came up with the most ridiculous- or most believable- lies to cover his ass when he needed it, who was always the class favorite, the teacher’s pet without meaning to be.

Jack had felt on top of the world back then, but now he’s struggling to even get off of the ground. The longer time goes on, the more lost Jack feels inside his own life. He feels like something was missing, something big. Something bigger than himself.

When his mother was alive, which now felt like lifetimes ago, she would often echo this old wives’ tale about how it’s best to find your soulmate while you’re younger, just to save them- and yourself- the pain of being alone for a long time. Jack had always kind of believed her; logically, he knew it was true, but he had always told himself that it wouldn’t happen to him. That he would be fine alone, though it wouldn’t be ideal, and that he would have plenty of time for soulmates after he got out and made a name for himself.

He’s starting to think, though, that maybe she was right. Maybe Jack had waited too long to make a move, to make contact again, because now, he just feels nauseous even thinking about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he knows the negative effects of self deprecation and not taking his own mental health seriously, he’s been to rehab before, blah, blah, blah, but, fuck, how could he put his soulmate through something like this? This fucked up state of mind he has now. Jack can’t even imagine talking to Katherine about this, and Katherine had been his best friend for over a decade. He can’t just meet his soulmate now- it’s been too long, he’s too messed up, they won’t like him, they’ll hate him for not trying hard enough, and Jack will just end up alone again, wasting away in his bedroom because no one fucking cares. No one cares. He has nobody.

That’s not true. He has Medda, his mom, his savior, his impulse control, but the thought of telling her that everything is acting up again makes him want to scream. He has Tony, but Tony has Al, and Tony and Al have a kid- a sweet little five year old girl who calls Jack ‘Uncle Jackie’ and takes no shit from anyone. He has Katherine, but Katherine has her soulmate- this dude named Darcy, who Jack doesn’t have much of an opinion on because they just met, like, a month ago, and Jack hasn’t exactly been emotionally ready for a hangout session between the three of them. He also has Charlie, and Charlie has certainly seen him in worse times- like when Jack was kind of hooked on pills for the entirety their freshman year of college- but Charlie has grad school to worry about and Charlie would hate him if he bothered him with this.

Still, there are other people who would listen, probably. He could easily talk to Elmer, or Romeo, or Specs, or Jojo or Finch or Sean or a fucking therapist but that’s just it, isn’t it? If he talks, he burdens, and Jack Francisco Kelly would rather run himself into the ground than be a burden anyone.

So, he makes a vow.

He makes eye contact with his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He’s gripping onto the sink, holding on for dear life, as he stares into his own sunken eyes. He takes in his appearance. Damp, messy hair, falling down to cover his forehead. Pale skin, which isn’t normal at all. Dark circles have taken their place around his eyes, and his smile- one of his favorite things about himself- is… nonexistent.

Distantly, Jack registers himself dumping a full bottle of ibuprofen into the sink. And then, he does the same thing with the bottle of melatonin from his medicine cabinet. The valium follows. He lets the water run for a long time. It's not that he doesn't trust himself- he'd done so, so good in rehab, and he doesn't even feel urges that often anymore- but it's better safe than sorry, especially since he's like... this.

This is not the Jack Kelly he’s used to anymore. This is not the Jack Kelly he wants to be.

But this Jack Kelly is the one who vows not to reach out. The one who vows to only answer when his soulmate is ready, and maybe not even then.

He doesn’t have to wait long, though.

Not when a heart appears on the back of his hand the next morning.

It’s there when Jack wakes up, and, honestly, it almost brings Jack to tears- but not necessarily for happy reasons. Sure, Jack wants to be happy. Who wouldn’t be happy after seeing something like this? A lopsided heart drawn in red ink, right on the back of his left hand- it was the definition of a symbol, of a romantic gesture, and Jack wants so badly to write back, to strike up conversation, to draw a goddamn heart, but… he can’t.

He can’t, and that’s horrible of him, and he knows it.

Right now, though… Jack can’t even work up the courage, the energy, to call his mom.

His soulmate, whoever they are, is going to have to wait.

[bunnylouisegrimes]

Episode 8 Review

The usual spoilers

Alright, this episode was pretty good in the beginning with some stuff here and there I didn’t like, but that ending... that ending leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Normally I start with the bad first, then the good, but I feel I should do chronological order for this one since most of the good is before the bad.

For starters, I enjoyed the very beginning with Chris at his dad’s funeral. For once, seeing an aspect of Vic’s childhood was interesting. You feel pretty bad for Chris because of the rough childhood he had, and you feel bad because he became his father. It’s good that he’s definitely changed tho. He pissed me off (and I’m sure everyone else off) last season, and to see him get emotional all those years before is definitely something. Seeing him grow now is rewarding.

I do really like how both of Vic’s parents see her bridge and are amazed by it. Idk why, but I always find it incredibly satisfying in a story when all the characters understand something/everything. I’m sure we all do, but clarification in a story has always brought me a satisfaction comparable to that of watching those satisfying video complications on YouTube.

How Bing is alive still... I have no idea. Maybe because he was sitting and that helped slow down the blood flow? Honestly, I really wanted them to get information out of him, then have him die. Look, there is a part of me that feels bad for him and sorry for him, but his actions are way less forgivable than Charlie’s. If you ask me, despite him talking with Vic (and hell, maybe at this point he does feel bad for what he did, although that is hard to believe because he did genuinely enjoy raping people, and rape is one of those actions it’s very hard to find really any redemption in once you commit it), I don’t see anyone forgiving his ass, and they shouldn’t. I also think Bing has always been a ticking time bomb. Who knows, if Charlie hadn’t come into their lives, he could’ve hurt Vic if she came off as “too nice” to him. We see what he did to his mom, despite her loving him and being the only good person in his life. He interprets love as something darker, and while it’s horrible that he thinks that way, and I understand what his childhood did to his mind, he has the knowledge that it’s wrong to do it (I mean, he has to subdue people with the gas, and he clearly sees his victims are unwilling) and he should stop it, yet he doesn’t. Charlie actually believes that what he’s doing is right, and there is a part of you that can see that in some regards, he is right, keeping kids away from harmful parents. What good comes out of rape? The only good that comes out of it is the benefit to himself for getting his sick pleasures. He does it all because he can and likes it, no other purpose. He could’ve gotten help, he could’ve tried to keep that all in and express it in a safe environment, he could’ve restrained himself from doing these things... yet he didn’t. If he had just killed the parents and strictly did nothing of a particularly cruel nature, you could understand Bing more and respect his character. But since he didn’t... it makes things harder. Is it respectable that he admitted he’s wrong? Yes. Should he be forgiven? Well... not really, at least imo. If Bing has any redeeming qualities, there are very few. Since he is kept alive, I hope he’s either rotting in prison or kept in a place where he can maybe get help that he needs. I think most importantly, I’m more than a little annoyed at this whole, “Yeah, we’ll write the rapist more sympathetically before we do the main antagonist, who’s actions are questionable and one could understand his intent. He doesn’t rape anybody and finds the act repulsive and kills rapists... but he’s less sympathetic just because he’s the main bad guy 😀.” Yeah, okay writers...

Moving on from the only truly bad thing in the episode before the ending, everything else seemed to be fine. I’m concerned with Maggie and Tabitha’s relationship, I really hope they’ll be okay. Tabitha was badass getting the respect and recognition she deserves for the work she does. Even though she made the stupid decision of going into that church by herself and possibly getting killed, I do love the balls she has, I just hope she doesn’t get herself killed by being stupid. Her and Maggie are a great couple and I love them. I feel bad for Vic and I hate that she feels so low about herself. I did like her talking with her dad. The confrontation with Millie was interesting, and I’m curious to see what’s in store with that. Based on the “next time” preview at the end of the episode, we finally make it to Christmasland, and I’m very interested (but also a little anxious) about what’s gonna happen next.

Now, the ending... this damn ending...

First of all, when Maggie was confronting Wayne, why didn’t she grab his ornament? Maggie is not a stupid character. Did she get hit by the car last season and not make smarter decisions on how to avoid it (ex, maybe getting in between two other cars)? Sure, but we’ll cut her slack, it was a very in the moment thing. This? I mean... they were anticipating this. You mean to tell me she couldn’t have thought of trying to get that ornament out of his hand and taking it away from him? She tricked the Hourglass for Christ’s sakes. It looks like from the preview she’s collecting their ornaments, but still, especially in that moment, she would’ve grabbed his. It might’ve made Wayne have a strength over his old self... what’s weird is in the book, he’s holding onto both sides of himself throughout his entire journey, in this they’re making it seem as though he has no control anymore. Which leads me to my next point...

Where is Craig in all of this? What, so his efforts didn’t do dick? What was the point in having him the last two episodes? I believe in the book, Wayne’s grandma (aka Linda McQueen), is helping him in a spirit form, and also by him “thinking backwards.” Craig was helping him by reminding him of Vic and staying by him. It would’ve made so much more sense for Craig to be by his side still (or hell, in the car if he can’t leave it and telling Wayne to “remember the plan”), Wayne “puts” the ornament on the tree (or Maggie takes it off after he puts it on), and Craig stays by him. Nope, let’s make his character useless. Who knows if he’ll return next episode, I’m hoping he will, but even if he does, it’s still annoying that his character has done little to nothing at this point when there was so much potential, and it seems to be almost too late. I’m glad Wayne didn’t eat Maggie or Lou like I feared (Lou did get a nip I suppose, which was a little unneeded if you ask me). I was hoping for more potential from Craig, guess we’ll have to see if there will be...

Another point: WHY THE HELL IS THIS CAR TOO OVERPOWERED? Seriously, it makes no sense. You can make Charlie’s abilities as op as you want so long as it’s not ridiculous, I could see that. But the car? That’s his total weakness. It can be stronger than the average car, but if lighting it on fire deals with it, explosions would. That is beyond lazy writing.

Now, the worst part: Chris’s death. Of course, let’s kill a character when he just seemed to redeem himself (but the character that rapes people and can’t really be redeemed, we’re gonna keep him alive, maybe he’ll get a redemption arch 🙂). Once again, writers, why are you making the most stupid choices? While his death wasn’t as stupid as his death in the book where officers shoot him down when he’s trying to protect Vic from one (this is all under Tabitha’s command, let’s just say she’s not that great of a cop in the book or with Maggie, I enjoy her character changes for the show), his death, the way I see it, is still insulting and pointless. Realistically, they could’ve kept him alive, what is the point of not? Also, I know that bike is heavy, but why wouldn’t Vic get up and kick some ass? Of course, her bike would act up just as the Wraith is coming towards her (what is the point of that too?). I really think Chris’s death was just for shock value and filler, and to make Charlie look like an even worse villain (because they reeeeally want to drill this point home, if the way his backstory is presented in the show wasn’t proof enough, which is stupid because we UNDERSTAND WRITERS. It’s you guys that don’t understand that Charlie is established as the villain through being the antagonist and his conflicting actions). While I’m glad they didn’t kill an even more important character (ex, Maggie or Lou or Vic), it’s still stupid to waste all that character development on Chris just for him to go out anyways, all for shock value filler and to make Charlie worse. Again, not saying he’s a saint, not saying it’s out of the realm of possibility for him to want to get revenge on Vic this way, but still, isn’t he already getting revenge on her through Wayne (plus, to him it’s poetic justice that he’s “saving” him from her). There’s really no point to Chris’s death. This reminded me heavily of TWD when they would pull that shock value filler crap with killing characters, and making a villain look worse than needed (an example is what they did with Negan in the show by writing him as even more evil and less redeemable than he is in the comics). I genuinely hope they don’t pull more of this.

All in all, this episode had it’s good moments I enjoyed, but there was definitely some stupidity and bad moments I despised. Let’s hope these last two episodes where shit gets more serious will be better. I’m hoping this show does not turn to crap through a series of stupid decisions, much like TWD did. I will be sorely disappointed at AMC...

[morning-star-57]

Miraculous Quirk AU

Idk if someone has already done this but here we go!

So, I recently got into Boku no Hero Academia and I got to thinking, what if the Miraculous universe was set in the same one as Bnha?

So, those of us who watch Bnha know the drill, 80% of the population has superpowers, called “quirks.” The other 20% are “quirkless.” So here’s how it would play out in my brain.

Super duper long, oops, so under the cut!

Miraculous:

works pretty much the same way as canon

only doesn’t give you a suit the holder picks that themselves

they work similar to One For All does in Bnha

the power of the previous owner fuels the power of the miraculous and the previous user can still use the power, but a weakened version of it

Ladybug miraculous gives the holder the power to create things and heal

Black Cat miraculous gives the power to destroy things with a touch (at will)

And so on, pretty much like canon but with some modifications

Marinette

was born quirkless

when she was younger, kids (cough Chloe cough) would make fun of her for it

was insecure about it for a long time and then saw all of the ways that quirks could backfire and decided it wasn’t worth it and it no longer bothers her (much)

(seeing Chloe blind herself was funny tho, even if it was temporary)

still wants to be a fashion designer

wary of superheros because of all of that property damage and also some of them are lowkey sus.

parents still own a bakery

Sabine’s quirk is levitation. She can make items and people float with her  mind but they have to be things she can physically lift (it’s okay tho cause she’s smol but strong). The drawback is that she gets really bad headaches and if she uses it too much or for too long, she can get a migraine.

Tom has a smaller, tamer version of pyrokinesis. He can’t make his entire body burst into flame but he can make certain parts, like his hands. He has a naturally high resistance to extreme weathers as his body heat is unusally high (hugs from him during the summer are bittersweet b/c he’s a great hugger but it’s too damn HOT DAD GET OFF-). The drawback is that he can’t control the temperature of the flame so if he’s not careful or if he uses his quirk for too long, it’ll burn him. His arms have many burn scars, rip.

back to Marinette

Decided the Hero Life wasn’t for her but still supports her friends who want to do it

Until she met the Lucky Hero, Tikki, her favorite

After plot happens, Tikki gives her the source of her “quirk”, the miraculous, and entrusts Marinette to carry on her legacy

Lots of angsty turmoil before she accepts the miraculous and decided to become a hero.

Chooses to be named the Ladybug, same as canon

Her hero costume would be the same as canon AT FIRST since her decision to go to a hero school was last minute af but then the suit will go through modifications to better suit her power needs and fashion needs

Got through the entrance exam after training with Tikki and because she’s badass shh

Doesn’t get a crush on Adrien until later once they’re already friends (or at all really idk yet)

Adrien

was the result of a quirk marriage

was the *failed result of a quirk marriage

Instead of inheriting both quirks of his parents, like intended, they combined and created a new one

His quirk is Charm. His body releases an invisible pheromone that makes him seem more attractive or trustworthy, sometimes both, depending on the person who smells it. This makes the “victim” more susceptible to his suggestions, but it’s not a total brainwash, unlike his father, so they can still easily fight it off if they wanted to. The drawbacks are that he can’t really stop it so he has to be constantly covered so that he doesn’t accidentally charm everyone. Also, after a while, people can build up tolerance to him and it won’t work as strongly on them.

Gabriel has Brainwash, which is often seen as a villain’s quirk. Everyone is thankful the he decided on fashion as a career and not villainy (oh those poor naive souls). If he looks into your eyes, you are put in his control and won’t be able to fight it unless he lets you go or if you receive a blunt impact to the head. The drawbacks are that he can’t control it so anyone who he makes eye contact with gets brainwashed unless there’s an obstacle in the way i.e.: glasses

Emilie’s quirk is sleep gas. Her skin cells naturally produce a gas that can put people in a coma-like state. The drawbacks are, again, can’t turn it off and the person has to be within range. She also has to be constantly covered.

Adrien wanted to be a hero at first to spite his father

Gabriel always hated heroes and saw them as a nuisance.

So Adrien basically said “fuck you, I’m going to be the best hero because I can”

And somehow convinced his dad to enroll him in College Francois Dupont, a local hero school

(he acutally just charmed him cause his dad isn’t around him enough to build up immunity to his quirk but shh)

He gets in through recommendations and is put in the hero course

This version of Adrien was still childhood friends with Chloe (who is immune to him) and a lot more distrustful of people, especially if they’re nice since he has no way of know if they’re genuinely a nice person or if they just fell prey to his quirk

rip the sunshine boy he has no friends except Chloe for the first few weeks of class

Becomes friends with Nino after they got paired up in a fight simulation

The slowly gets more comfortable around people and becomes more open to friendships

Doesn’t get the Black Cat Miraculous until much, much later when the Squad gets caught up in a fight with villains and the Unlucky Hero, Plagg (Tikki’s partner and husband) decides to entrust him with it

Impulsive chaotic gremlin that gets threatened to be put on a leash made by Marinette 

Chloe

also the result of a quirk marriage, this one being successful

Her quirk is called Diamond. Her skin has an extra layer that acts very similarly to an actual diamond so she can reflect, refract, and disperse light. This layer can also harden at her will so that she can become a semi-indestructible prism. Her body’s reaction to light intensifies while in this state. The drawbacks are that while her body is hardened, she cannot move easily and her speed will be greatly reduced. Also, her skin is just very sparkly almost all of the time which makes it hard to hide from villains and to see when it’s sunny out. Usually wear large sunhats and sunglasses to try and reduce the shine

Her and Adrien bond by being products of a quirk marriage

also got in through recommendation and everyone thinks she bought her way in but actually tried very hard to earn her spot

is VERY protective over Adrien and will blind someone if they say anything she deems offensive

She and Marinette practically hate each other on a good day before they were forced to hang out since Adrien kept bringing Chloe along with him whenever the Squad would get into shenanigans

They developed a mutual agreement to be civil at one point and that slowly turned into friendship

Y’know the type of friends that insult each other and fight over every small thing but the second someone else tries to come for the other they won’t h e s i t a t e BITCH

yeah that’s them

anyways, I digress

Is surprisingly the sensible one of the group

“no you cannot run headfirst into the fight Adrien, these are actual villains and you can’t even pass a simulation without dumb luck.”

“I don’t care if your quirk can heal you Marinette, stop jumping off of rooftops and go down the stairs like a normal person!”

“Put it down, Nino.”

“Luka. No.”

you get the idea

she is Mom

Says she wants to be a hero because hero’s are cool and she’s cool so it just makes sense for her to be a hero

(actually though because she wanted to make her mother proud of her but you didn’t hear it from me)

Is lowkey really powerful and if she tried to use the full extent of her powers, she’d be a beast

but don’t tell her that, she’s already got a big head

Luka

is working towards becoming an underground hero

His quirk is sound amplification. He amplifies preexisting sound waves to what ever frequency is needed. Depending on the frequency, he can break through almost any object. The drawback is that sound waves can damage his hearing and can become temporarily deaf if he uses it too long or if he creates a frequency that’s too high for his body to handle. Has a chance of becoming permanently deaf if he overuses his quirk too many times

His suit comes with modifications to help with that so he should be fine he hopes

His guitar doubles as a weapon since he usually amplifies whatever chord he plays

Already has his provisional hero licence

is still really chill

is one of the first to figure out Marinette’s secret but is a good boi so he doesn’t tell

you’d think that being the oldest of the group he’d be the sensible one but nope

is accidentally the one that encourages shenanigans 

Luka, innocently: Hey, did you know that the teachers don’t lock up the sim rooms?

Chloe: *Death glare*

Luka: *nervous confusion*

the one who encouraged Juleka to go for the hero course 

Nino

Adrien’s best friend, just like canon

started out as general studies since he wasn’t sure if he was good enough to be a hero but a teacher saw his potential and was transferred into the hero course

His quirk is time reduction. He can slow time or even stop it completely if he concentrates very hard, allowing him to get one place to the next in literally no time at all. He used to think it was super speed because this but found out what it really was when he tried to save a cat from being run over and stopped time. He can also stop  only certain objects in time but that takes up more energy. The drawback is that if he overuses his quirk he starts to speed up his own time in order to compensate for the time he’s losing so he becomes very tired and after “3 hours” of his own time passed he will pass out from exhaustion. Also, he can only manipulate the time within his quirk’s range which can go up to about the size of an american football field (160 feet/49) meters.

is super insecure of his quirk because he thinks it’s not as cool as everyone else’s

they make sure to let him know that that’s bs and he’s very cool

feeds off of Adiren’s chaotic energy during simulations

has been put in timeout by Chloe when this happens

will stop time to bask in the moment 

gets emotional during this

there have been many times where the Squad is chilling and suddenly everyone just sees Nino sobbing 

group hugs ensue

Adrien, probably: “Chloe get your shiny ass in the cuddle pile or so help me-!”

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 I’ll make a part two since this is already so long, but that’s it for now! What do y’all think?

Part 2 is now up!

[bugsandbon3s]

hello! i was wondering if i could do a request for Levi, one where reader has like a worse sleeping schedule than Levi?? to the point where they’ve almost fallen asleep on expeditions. Levi and reader aren’t a thing yet but they definitely crushing on each other 👀 so Levi asks reader why they almost fell asleep and they confess their bad sleeping issues, idk what happens after that, you decide. SFW please, have a wonderful day/night! ✨💕❤️

                                        Another Sleepless Night

Levi x Gender Neutral! Reader, SFW

Warnings: sleep deprived reader, falling from heights, mention of blood, light swearing (lmk if there was any I missed because I will add them)

Request: “hello! i was wondering if i could do a request for Levi, one where the reader has like a worse sleeping schedule than Levi?? to the point where they’ve almost fallen asleep on expeditions. Levi and reader aren’t a thing yet but they definitely crushing on each other so Levi asks reader why they almost fell asleep and they confess their bad sleeping issues, idk what happens after that, you decide. SFW please, have a wonderful day/night! 

Author's note: Hello! Thank you so much for my first request, I feel like I got a little carried away and it got longer than I thought it would be but I hope you enjoy it! My requests are still open if anyone would like to make any and I’m open to criticism with my writing as this is the first time I’ve published my work. I had a lot of fun writing out this one and planning it out, I hope everyone enjoys it!

                                                    _______________

         It was an unusually quiet night at the Scout Regiment; despite tomorrow's upcoming expedition. The atmosphere in Captain Levi’s office was solely being fueled by the clicking of the clock and the gentle scratching of quill on paper. Levi’s hand was growing tense as he’d been filling out paperwork for the past few hours. Peering at his clock with strained eyes, it read 1:48 am, to which Levi let out a huff of air as he stood from his desk. 

         Growing dreary but wanting to avoid sleep, Levi made his way to the corridors with the intent of making a late night cup of tea. He felt that it would be required in order to finish the stack of papers waiting for him on his desk. Creaking open the door, Levi was surprised to notice another cadet wandering around; his eyes automatically softening when he realized who it was. 

        Cadet (Y/N L/N) was caught off guard by Levi’s presence, but with how exhausted they were no one would be able to tell. 

        “What are you doing out of bed, it’s late Cadet,” Levi asked with a strident tone. 

        “Don’t you think we are past formalities at this point, Captain.” 

        Swallowing the lump in his throat Levi easily felt intimidated by this individual, he was never able to pinpoint why but (Y/N) always had a way of getting to him. The soft candle light of the hallway brought to Levi’s attention how soft they appeared when they weren’t speaking, a gentle reminder as to how he often underestimates them.

        Levi felt pulled to change the subject, “Care to join me for a late night brew?” 

        “Alrighty then, I don’t see the harm in it,” (Y/N) replied tonelessly.

     The two Scouts quietly took their stride down to the kitchen as they walked side by side together, Levi had made it a point to shove his hands in his pockets as he felt conflicted about what to do with his hands. 

        It only took a matter of minutes before they arrived at the kitchen, (Y/N) quickly taking a seat at the small scratched up table  as Levi went to work preparing them both tea. (Y/N) watched him closely, admiring how making a cup of tea almost seemed like one of his instincts. His tea always came out better than their own. Before they knew it the kettle started whistling and drew them out from their thoughts as Levi brought two cups to the table. 

        “So how come the late night wandering, are you not sleeping all of a sudden?” Levi asked, feeling uncomfortable with the silence. 

        (Y/N) waived him off, staring off into their cup of tea when they responded “No, nothing like that, just gotten into the habit of taking late night strolls is all.”

        “Tch”, Levi felt like they were giving off a poor excuse but he didn’t want to pry too much, after all it was late.

        The two soldiers continued to enjoy their tea and eachothers company in silence, that was until Levi finished his cup and abruptly got up to return back to his office. As he was walking out the kitchen door he turned back to (Y/N) one last time for the night, “Off to bed Cadet it’s late.” Then he was gone, leaving them all alone for the night. 

        (Y/N) played with their tea cup for moments more, continuing to stare off into the hot liquid. Their hands felt warm, closing their eyes for a moment, they imagined this is what Levi’s touch would feel like. They had no plans to leave the kitchen anytime soon because it was obvious they had nothing to look forward to, except another restless night.

                                                THE FOLLOWING DAY

        The tone of the mission was off to a rocky start, the rain was pouring down on the cadets and their strategy was not working as planned. A majority of the scouts seeked temporary refuge in a heavily wooded area in order to restock their supplies, (Y/N) included. Their vision was blurring as they tried repeatedly to rescrew on their gas chamber, their head splitting behind their eyes. Beyond tempted to rest their eyes for only a moment, (Y/N) gave in, shutting their lids and leaning their back against the tree bark without a second thought. Quickly drifting off, they didn’t realize they were slowly slipping from laying against the tree, close to falling they were jolted awake by the sound of ODMG gear zipping by their ear and a sudden hold on their body.

     Looking up (Y/N) was drawn in by Levi’s eyes; he was looking away from them and was clearly angered, it didn’t take a genius for (Y/N) to figure out it was because of them. Despite that they couldn’t help but stare in awe at him, his black hair, gently glistened with his sweat, was flowing through the air as he zipped through the trees. They could see his mouth moving but wasn’t processing any of the words that escaped his mouth. Their skin felt like it was being electrified under his touch.

        “-just saved you from getting killed and you can’t even pay attention. Are you listening?” Levi shouted, worried they weren’t all there. He made a swift landing on a nearby branch knowing he couldn’t make it the whole way back to the wagons with him carrying you. He sat them down against the tree in front of him, “Damn brat, are you trying to get yourself killed?”

       Finally understanding and piecing everything together, (Y/N) came to realize what had just happened. 

        “Levi I’m so sorry I didn’t think I was going to fall, I thought I could get away with resting, for just a moment I wasn’t thinking,” they rushed out fearing the possibility of disappointing him. Levi didn’t respond right away either, instead he stared down at his hands as he rested them on his knees, he almost looked defeated. The rain was dripping off of his hair and (Y/N) took notice of his knuckles tensing and turning wait as he tightly gripped his pants.

        “Why’d you do it? I know you (Y/N), I’m not an idiot I can tell when something is going on with you.” Levi’s voice was softer than usual this time, almost as if he let down a facade, almost as if he was scared. “I don’t want to lose you too.”

        “ I’m sorry. I-” eyes wide and voice trembling, “I wasn’t honest with you last night. It’s been two days since I’ve slept and for the past few months on the nights I do sleep, I’m lucky if I get-”, before they could even finish Levi cut them off, placing his hands on their shoulders firmly. (Y/N) didn’t even notice they had tears streaming down their face and their nose starting to run, breaths close to hyperventilating.

          “Get it together Cadet.” Levi’s voice was rough and loud, “We’re still in the shit! I need you to snap back and keep with us until we are back at base, can you do that on your own or do you need me to bring you to the medics?”

        “I can make it back myself Captain,” (Y/N) spoke out, trying to show they were in the moment, giving their captain their best salute. 

       Standing up, Levi felt conflicted, leaving them on his own, he felt he had to trust his own instincts more than (Y/N), but he needed to give in. “Head back to your squad, I won’t be far behind you, but as soon as we are back at headquarters you are to return to my office. Am I understood?”

    “Yes sir!” finally putting down their salute, (Y/N) headed back to their section leader. 

                                            LATER BACK AT BASE

        There was a gentle knock at the door, Levi immediately recognized it to be (Y/N), no doubt scared to meet with him after their performance on the expedition. Standing up from his desk and taking long strides toward his office door, Levi made it a point to adjust his ascot, before opening his doors for them. 

        (Y/N) was still in their uniform from the expedition; their usually pristine shirt covered in mud and blood, who knows who’s or what’s. They looked up quickly, a frown stapled to their face, as the doors to Levi’s office swung open. Unsurprising to (Y/N), Levi was already back in a clean uniform, even his hair dry from the rain. They looked back down at their feet feeling ashamed for letting their fatigue affect them on the field.

          “Are you coming in or do you need to take a shit?” Levi asked bluntly, annoyed with how (Y/N) was obviously avoiding their much needed talk. Looking back up, they strode into the office, walking past Levi, and taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. 

        Shutting and locking the door, Levi made his way back to his desk and crossed his arms as he stared down the cadet directly in front of him. “Now you can tell me what happened out there.”

        Taking a slow inhale before speaking, (Y/N) wasn’t expecting for things to go as they did. “I made a mistake sir, that I take full responsibility for.”

        “ Whatever happened to your ‘cut the formalities’ bullshit, tell me what happened with you Cadet!” Sternly spoken by the captain, raising his voice just enough to get his point across. 

        “I lied to you yesterday,” (Y/N) spoke with a slight waiver to their voice, at first thrown off to assertive their captain was being with them. They were so used to Levi getting flustered with them, it was rare for him to be stern with them; making it obvious how serious things were. “I’m not going for late night strolls just for the hell of it, as I’m sure you know. I haven’t slept in two days and it's really gotten to me. I’ve been trying but it's just gotten so hard, I can only do so much with all the flashbacks I’ve been having. I can’t sleep because I know that it’s only a matter of time until I see them die again. Even when I do fall asleep the nightmares wake me up and keep me up.” Tears were falling from their eyes once again, Levi couldn’t stand to watch it. Getting up from his desk, he made his way over to (Y/N), kneeling down and taking her hand into his.

        “You’re really an idiot if you didn’t think you could talk to me about this sooner,” he stated earning a chuckle and a smirk from (Y/N). “I thought it was obvious how I feel about you; but don’t worry about it we’ll get you back to sleeping. I can’t let you get yourself killed over something like this. Will you let me help you, (Y/N).” 

           (Y/N) quickly started shaking their head up and down, feeling overwhelmed with mixed emotions but also feeling relieved with Levi giving out a confession, in his own way. “Thank you captain.”

        Placing his hand on their cheek, they were overcome with a comforting feeling, reminiscent of a warm cup of tea. Levi leaned towards them, his voice low in volume, “Come on, you must be exhausted, come rest…”

 “With me”