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#i wake up with them consistently
xysidhequeen · 2 years
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Me: The migraines are getting better! :D
The Migraines: No the fuck we are not
Me, in pain: They’re. Getting. Better.
The Migraines: Suffer
Me: If I say it enough, it'll be true
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kimjunnoodle · 3 months
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The gang had a rough night 😩 feat. @hisohisoart oc Lious
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gayofthefae · 2 months
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Here's the thing about season 3. Nothing was a secret. There was no lining or buildup. They cleared up the miscommunication in episode 4 and she stood by breaking up with him anyways.
From there, just like I say about Will's feelings being unreciprocated, the problem is unactionable, so there's no lesson and nothing for us to root for.
Mike wants to get back together with El. She knows that. Nothing happens.
The L bomb was dropped as a false sense of momentum, because there actually wasn't any because him not saying it wasn't the problem so it shouldn't be the solution. Usually you have pining. Think the full season breakup story they did the following season:
There was pining. There was investment from US. Because there was setup for confession. Because something was withheld to be revealed. "You know I really like you but you don't know I love you" does not count. Lucas didn't know Max wanted to get back together. They had been broken up long enough and Lucas was respectful enough that Max couldn't be sure either. That setup investment for the notes passing scene. That set up his NERVES in it. That set up me being excited when I saw their first kiss in her 4x04 happy memories sequence. And satisfied to have predicted the Snow Ball as her happiest memory. If Max had known he definitely wanted to get back together as soon as she was ready again and wasn't going to move on at all, there would be no stakes.
Mike wanted to be with El. Then she didn't want to be with him. She can't have the nerves of confessing to him she wants to get back together because she already knows he does. He can't have the nerves of confessing he wants to because he already has. And they didn't establish them as friends solidly or for long enough like they did by establishing that Lucas and Max had ALREADY broken up as opposed to a 6 day breakup arc to make it so that they became unsure of what they once knew to me true of getting back together. Severity of wording changed and El loves romantic tropes in movies so it had influence but really:
Mike had no information to add that El didn't already have. El had nothing stopping her giving Mike information as soon as she had it. There were no stakes. So I didn't care. Whatever happened, cute. That was my thought process. But I had no real investment anymore, unlike when they were building to confession or fighting to get back to each other, because I knew as soon as she wanted to get back together they just automatically would be. So if you, like you were meant to, believed that Mike loved El and knew that she knew that, that scene where she said it back was cute. But not satisfying.
There is nothing to be resolved. We're watching events take place sequentially. Because when there are no stakes, there's no real goal either. Mike invented one for himself because he was uncomfortable with the idea of how comfortable he was broken up.
Tldr: Mike and El's relationship had no secrets and therefore no stakes or opportunity for confession in season 3. El telling Mike she loved him was cute, but not a "confession". Because, just like Mike telling her he loves her in 4x09, if we (think we) know how the other person is feeling and will react, we can't at all invest in the feelings of nervousness or satisfaction that the confessor is feeling.
Season 3 and 4 uninvested us by feigning plots in which they gave us no new information. And bored us. If you know exactly how a scene will play out all but exact wording, you will space out because you can. A writer never wants you to be able to space out and miss nothing. (Until they don't want you to miss what's happening when they take it away)
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suddencolds · 5 months
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#delete later#another journal entry 📝 for the void#i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks 😵‍💫 i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough#i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep 😭#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks#i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better#results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but#it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as#blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply#respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and#weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T
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yo-yo-yoshiko · 6 months
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Wasting time on making some brushes in clip studio to make certain effects a little easier.
(on the clip studio assets library if anyone has a use for them!)
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ehehe i had this saved as 'you tellin me theres blood in this bayou??' anyway WOW i drew this (FOREVER AGO) with only pen (ONLY PEN) and fixed mistakes by gluing paper over them. fuckinnnn WITNESS MY PEN SKILLS LOSEERRRR!! also i loooove blood in the bayou guys i miss these characters so much.... i looooved watching them all get just so so scared and clinging to eachother for dear life while crying and crying and bleeding and crying
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi bitb#jrwi bitb spoilers#cw blood#cw gore#BAUAHABAHUH OKAY NOW UHH I TALK ABT MY FEELINGS#DREWthis forever ago and also its been forever ago since i watched bitb. still listen to the soundtrack tho. shit bAAANNGSSS#nathan hanover you beaufifully talented mother FUCKER the bitb soundtrack is the PERFECT music to get high+scared to#THE SOUNDTRACK MAKES IT. TRACKS LIKE forgotten promise INSTILL SUCH A FEELING OF A HOOOTTT SUMMER DAY.. ESPECIALLY IN THE GODDAMN BAYOU#THE AIR is so thick with moisture and so so so hot but so much more than normal#it chokes ur senses if u focus on it too long and the heat is so so so OPPRESSIVE and heavy#i rly like the way i drew rands face here. i normally have a bit o trouble finding a consistent Look for it but#fuck it im ballin#i also like the bit i drew here with kian n rand tending to an unconscious rolan#do you remember that scene? right after the carcrash? rand was so rattled and so scared of rolan being fuckin Dead#shaking him awake and saying his name#n then as soon as rolan wakes up rand goes back to being a lil jacket#like yeahahh fuck you nerrd fuckin laywer loser anyway heres my jacket to stop the bleeding on ur arm. i love you#IT MAKES ME RLY HAPPY TOO THAT THE BOYS WILL ACTUALLY TELL EACHOTHER THEY LOVE THEM#LIKE SURE ITS RIGHT WHEN THEIR LIFE IS IN THE GREATEST PERIL BUT... THE LOVE EACHOTHER GUYS....#also ALSO DRAWING SCRATCHES N GORE N BLOOD N PAAAIIIN IS SO FUN!! YIPPE!!!!#I THINK thats the last o my thoughts so uhh take this and eat. remember to get scared today. i love you
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dirtytransmasc · 1 year
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y'know how siblings will fight all day, and then like, one of them falls asleep (typically while in the car) and the other huffs and puffs but lays them down on their lap/shoulder and totally doesn't play with their hair and they pretend they are fine but inside they're gonna cry, cause their sibling is just their little baby and they would die for them and they regret being mean all day and get themselves so close to crying....
that's Miles², no I will not be taking criticism.
like, Milo (miles 42, using the little nickname for the sake of ease) and Miles going back and forth all day, being mean, teasing each other, calling each other names, being REAL mature, but the second the other falls asleep, it's done, over, they will go to the ends of the earth to make sure the other stays sound asleep, is comfy, and is not in any way disturbed. Milo will SHOOT you, if you dare breathe too loud when his brothers sleeping, he will not move a muscle for hours if his brothers sleeping on him, and the whole time he's teary eyed, trying to pretend he's not doing the little thumb thing on Miles's hair. same with Miles, he's just actually crying, he's drafting a heartfelt apology, he's fighting the urge to hug Milo as tight as he can, he's normally curling up next to/around Milo and going to sleep himself cause he's a wreck at that point.
they're brothers, better yet, twins, your honor, I love them.
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fortifice · 5 months
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while death doesn't occur on every patrol or with every instance of combat its prevalent enough in the guard's profession that more often than not a soldier will die or be forced into withdrawing rather than reaching an age where they can comfortably retire. while people don't die every day death is always present in their line of work, from injuries sustained on duty to what may seem more like massacres.
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atowncalledher · 5 months
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Oh my GOD
I fucking figured it out. My entire life I've had a horrible time trying to wake up on time in the morning. I've always slept through alarms or snoozed them too many times or whatever. When I was in highschool I chalked it up to not getting enough sleep, but then I became an adult and did start getting enough sleep most of the time and I still had the same issues. I have been late to work almost every single day because of this and it's been a huge source of stress throughout my life.
And it think I just solved it.
It's because our little unconsciously fronts when we sleep, and I have to wake her up too. It's been four days in a row of waking up on time this is literally life-changing. And it's just cause my kid is a sleepyhead who needs someone to wake her up.
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joseigamer · 10 months
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treehouse censoring even alfred's, kagetsu's, etc romantic lines in elyos after you s-support them....
#WHY!!!!#why let alfred say he loves you in his pact ring support but then not in the hub world???#avgn WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?.mp4#fire emblem engage#fire emblem#alfred fire emblem#i swear to god i will make a masterpost of every change at some point because this is insane.#regardless on whether people like how fe has dating sim elements there is no excuse for removing content that *isnt even problematic*#i am normally not someone who overly cares about FE censorship but in engage it was extremely excessive and with no rhyme or reason#hitting even characters that are over 18 in the datamined ages (which aren't even visible in game)....#hitting characters that otherwise WEREN'T censored but then are in other places#theres really no excuse for it especially when this is the game with the most textual m/m and f/f options to date#including characters like mauvier (he says he adores you in his wake up events!) who isnt just a bishounen (ignoring the bad 3d models lol)#thankfully mauviers wasnt censored too hard tho they still removed another reference of him saying he loves you! like why?#because romantic content does not change based on alear's gender; by removing romantic elements they also removed textual bisexuality#dont assume im also including jean and anna in that; because im not. but when it comes to characters that are of age as well...like come on#there also isnt any consistency. mauviers datamined age is 31 and zelkovs is 28; but zelkov is censored muuuuch harder#fe#fe17#its a little embarrassing to care about this sort of thing but its still content people are paying for that is removed which isnt okay#for the record ive played almost every FE game and enjoy them with or without dating sim elements.#but what i hate is this half baked situation#games#joseiposting
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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I’ve seen you say that u like that mine is a mystery til the end of yakuza 3 when asked abt a minedai saga i completely agree , so i feel like it would be better if kiwami 3 did happen the saga would be unlockable agter u finish the game
//sagely nodding// you get it.....
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cirr0stratus · 2 months
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That art you just posted, who are those fellas. The art is gorgeous, absolutely stunning, I must know who they are, what they are from, and is this like a ship or friends or related?
oh heLLO i’m so excited i get to talk about My Interest
those fellas are Eugene “Doc” Roe and Edward “Babe” Hefferon from the HBO war series Band of Brothers.
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While they are based off real people, real heroes who fought in the United States Airborne’s own Easy Company, my portrayal (and anyone who engages in this fandoms portrayal) of them is strictly fictional.
my portrayal of them is as a ship (i GUESS it’s sort of more complicated than that but i feel the same way about Kat and Paul in all quiet on the western front) (if you’ve read all quiet on the western front you’d understand what i mean) (if you haven’t please read all quiet on the western front)
anyways i’m so normal about them. I’m so, so normal about them and i am BEGGING you to watch the show, it’s so, so good. the imagery and music and just. EVERYTHING it’s such an incredible series.
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year six of being salty that around halfway through RoS the writers went 'shit we accidentally wrote five way too sympathetic and reasonable, and he is rapidly going through a redemption arc. quick shove in random serial killer shit out of nowhere without explanation, which completely contradicts his character and its development up til then. wait fuck he's redemption arcing EVEN HARDER in FoT. shit shit shit okay just make him hannibal lecter'
#lorien legacies#LL number five#LL crit tag#the crit files#five hurting people is something he consistently has to work himself up toward by turning them into an Object of Hatred#and/or having someone else encourage him to do so#because hurting people /fucks him up/ even when he hates them#and after that has hit its breaking point of emotional intensity he just. stops wanting to hurt them#wants to help them or at least for them to be alright in fact; even when they've treated him horrifically#and when that breaking point results in doing irreversible harm he regrets it SO MUCH#he has to spend a month dissociating and keeping himself busy every waking hour not to break the fuck down over what he did to ethan#and he DOES break the fuck down over killing eight#like even if he thought well of eight in particular by comparison he's been stoked up to hate the other garde in general#which leads pretty quickly to regret and total lack of malice toward the garde after the showdown in florida#he is completely broken over it#even /nine/ he loses 'i want this person hurt' animosity toward after florida. in fact animosity at all that we see after that initial#monologue over eight's body; where he's having his big moment of realizing he has more hatesinking to regret than just hurting eight#and he doesn't say he wants nine to suffer. he just says it wasn't worth helping him because he thinks he'd just throw it away#the only time we see him kill someone and not seem too fucked up about it is when it's a mog soldier who presumably knew what he was#signing up for; and was literally swinging a sword at five's head#five fucks me up because at heart he just does not have real malice in him. if he is feeling it something has gone terribly wrong#not as in ~lol of course it has he's crazy~ but as in 'if you supposedly feel fine but are under so much stress that you're having constant#shakes and heart palpitations that is not your default state of being; you are being bent in half and you're eating yourself'#so them randomly going uhmmm ACTUALLY he's a BLOODTHIRSTY SADISTIC SERIAL KILLER who carves his number into a rando's chest#for no reason; and lets people regenerate rather than kill them so he can savor hacking them apart over and over; and drools over murdering#as many people as he can including two random mog guards that happened to be in him and ella's way is like. fuck off lmao#even if you try to go with him turning the mogs into a hatesink for what they've done he would go into a breakdown spiral as soon as it#resulted in killing someone and actually seeing them suffer. the other exception to this that we see before the character assassination#started was deltoch but i do feel like there's an explanation there; it doesn't feel Jarring; but will have to think about it#anyway five has some great moments in UaO but it's really frustrating trying to pick through the bullshit for Actual Characterization
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mutalune · 3 months
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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rozugold · 2 years
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I found a new song today and imagined such a vivid animatic to it I was sure I’ve seen one like it before but NOPE! It doesn’t exist! So now I gotta make it
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cripplerage · 10 months
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Pretty sure I have DID or OSDD and like. There's seemingly nothing I can do to get communication going or anything so that's really cool
(sort of vent/rambling in the tags)
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