#i wanted to try a different hairstyle but in my brain space buns are THE bumblebee style

[saturnsickle]

Karen 🐝

[sugar-petals]

♡ Levi Dating A Tall Girl

warnings ⚠️  some innuendo, possessiveness, jealousy, skinship

↳ NOTE. short captain ftw 

You don’t fall backwards the first time he hands you a big ass gun to practice target shooting. Finally someone who doesn’t act like a wobbly fool. Long legs. Better shooting stances. No questions asked. Levi likes that.

You can get the emergency supply tea box from the top shelf. He is jealous, this is cheesy, but still. Levi likes that.

You are hard to overlook. For pragmatic reasons since he lives in sheer chaos and needs to collect his squad from the most unholy places, Levi likes that.

But also... he has to confess he finds it fascinating to see you walk and talk. So, Levi likes that.

You can clean the ceiling. For obvious reasons: Levi likes that.

Paintjobs are easy to you. Levi likes that.

You can carry more weapons on you. Knife here, knife there, knives everywhere. Levi likes that.

Without even knowing or trying, you have a natural bold appearance. People don’t start trouble. The squad is peaceful and diligent in your presence. Him, too. He doesn’t say it, but he admits to himself that he feels protected. Levi likes that. A lot.

It might be outdated in the Survey Corps, but Levi enjoys calling you Madam. You really look like one in your Sunday outfit, just so you know. The height difference makes anyone buy into it. So, you go by „Ma’am“ wherever you go, knowing who addressed you that way first because he respects you. Levi likes that.

The advanced Trojan horse: You can smuggle him almost anywhere when you wear a dress. Levi is kinda going crazy with your legs being so up close though. My, my. What an interesting undercover mission. Levi likes that. You, too. Wink wink nudge nudge.

When cooking, you fool around planting your underboob on Levi’s head while the oven does its thing. He’s cursing a bunch of things. But he can’t deny you’re funny and he really fits in that spot, too. Levi likes that.

Your height means more to scrub in the shower. Levi does not shy away from grabbing a sponge for the ladies as we know. Only select people he will foam up personally, so, this is a knighting. If you can shave him, he can shampoo you, it’s tit for tat. A very cleanly exchange. Levi likes that.

In the comfort of your room, not in his, nor his office or elsewhere, really when nobody is watching — Levi sits on your lap. Plenty of space, so. He fits snugly right there. Levi likes that.

You look great when you ride a horse and handle horses well in general. You can get on there in two seconds without delay. Speed is key. Levi likes that.

And I mean.

What’s not to like, anyway? Levi’s captain crush on you equals your height in terms of intensity.

Technically, you, like all other people, qualify as a brat. A tall, noodly brat. But you’re nice to him and vice versa: Don’t deliberately nor accidentally get on his nerves. So the most he’ll do is grumble at you where others would get a speech. If you make a mistake with the equipment, he won’t let it slide for obvious survival-related reasons, but his tone is noticeably gentler, a crucial tinge.

The whole squad — especially the rowdy members who tease him the most ironically — spirals into envy, but doesn’t say anything lest they want Levi’s frown and explanation on how they were messing around while you worked. The guy’s proud of it and wants to deservedly hype your ethic to be honest.

So let us just note that special fondness he has and let it sink in.

Under the guise of “establishing order”, Levi has an excuse to make his schtick for you heard: Indirectly.

Levi scolds anyone calling you bigfoot or titan girl. His supposed reason: They didn’t clean well. In reality, he’s mad they pick on you but he can’t say it.

The captain is concerned that people don’t ruin your day and he’ll do something about it. That’s pretty damn astounding. Levi hardly bothers getting into other people’s mood management and personal things.

Armin thinks it’s adorable when Levi casually walks between you and Hanji, likely headed somewhere to buy conveniences because Sasha is dying to get food. Connie calls it the ‘Levi Sammich’ and laughs his ass off every. Single. Time.

Mad titan scientist she is, Hanji’s latest experiment involves a two-person battle maneuver where you have to carry Levi piggyback. He initially declines, but it looks adorable indeed, actually. You don’t really have to put efforts into holding him in place awkwardly, his legs are strong. So much about two-person maneuvers, the two of you fight well as a duo, your bodies complement each other. Best believe the same feat applies to what happens between four bedposts.

In more casual settings, he dons his usual scowl when he stands next to you, but he thinks it's sexy that you look at his shoulders from above. You can see the weight on them.

He wishes he had your shoulders. But then again, he wouldn’t want to change bodies at the end of the day, as surprising as it sounds. Levi knows he needs to be a compact little unit to do what he does.

A lot of people taunt you as a couple, but after some time of always reacting with anger right away, he becomes cooler about his self-worth. Levi realizes — man, he knows who he is.

Should you ever faint, he can catch you with ease. Levi Ackerman is the last guy to get crushed by his gf, that we all know. He’s not afraid of your body or your weight. No cowardice, no shame, no questions asked.

And as we know. He got a thing with your legs, don’t even try. Legs legs legs leggy legs, that’s all there is on Levi’s brain when you don’t wear a uniform but skirts during leisure time. He tries to block out that thought, unsuccessfully.

Titans he can go without, but you are his irreplaceable sexy goddess you know. Levi admires you.

Whenever you hit your hip or limbs at an awkwardly set-up table, Levi will position it elsewhere immediately. Low door frames he can’t do anything against, but he will tug at your sleeve twice every time you enter a room while walking behind you so you remember to stay alert. It’s... really cute how he’s tugging at you from below. I need a moment.

In the mornings, an even cuter thing happens: When his legs are too short to reach the ground while he’s sitting on an improvised barber chair of yours. You’re cutting his neck hair while he’s pouty about his tininess. You do your best to organize a smaller chair with Armin’s help later on.

But your height difference also causes some upheaval at the start or the relationship and brings up some deeper wounds.

You can easily help tie Eren’s man bun way up there and that makes Levi extra jealous. In fact, he feels like imploding to the point of creating a black hole. Even Mikasa is fine with it because it’s all on a friendly basis with no thought behind it. Like it’s just helping Eren get his hair under control for squad practice. But Levi sees red:

Out of sheer Ackerspite, he will grow out the top part of his undercut and ask you to tie up his hair, too. This guy is on fire. Like hello, he wants your hands in his hair like that as well!

He orders Mikasa to take care of Eren’s “brat mop on his head” every morning “for the sake of the cleanly survey corps dress code” without exception. Eren is totally confused, Mikasa likes the idea, and you are shocked.

Damn, this guy doesn’t play.

He wants you to stroke and tie only his sacred hair if he’s entirely honest with himself. Best time of the day for him. Levi ends up looking like your smol samurai bodyguard with his new hairstyle. You could fancy that in the long run.

And... you know he is insecure. You always know. And, if you’re honest yourself, are glad to have permission to give him such deliberate affection because he values it so much.

Levi hardly builds any romantic bonds and if he does, he easily feels left out because the truth is, he’s needier than the average person. It’s difficult if there are only few people close enough for that, since Levi needs a lot.

Eren is no viable competition, but you decide you gotta make that clear to the touch-starved little guy. Since... In reality, the man bun discussion is not about Levi being petty just because. It’s about wanting to have that connection with you. And: Your attention. Levi doesn’t look like it, but he needs it. A metric ton.

In fact, Levi is the biggest love-deprived attention whore on the entire island and that’s a hard fact.

So, what to do about it. First: Clean slate needed, because you’re a bit annoyed, too.

You sit down for dinner and talk to Levi about how you are not interested in stealing Eren from Mikasa, nor do you think Levi looks ugly or invisible compared to Eren because of the height. You want to be a helpful squad member and he has no business imposing his brat hair rules to make himself exclusive out of fear, as if you would jump Eren as soon as he doesn’t look. And that he should say when he’s envious or wants something, point-blank. You’re very willing to give him all the attention to the moon and back alright.

Levi, grumpy at himself, apologizes for wanting to control the situation instead of saying that he wishes for time with you and makes tea.

He’s feeling mighty called out but owns up to all of this having been a knee-jerk response. Guy’s hard on himself, but that’s how he adapts his behavior.

The whole truth is, he knows that Eren is a lot easier to be around while he, Levi, is a complicated guy that is arguably hard to approach in random matters, even for loved ones.

He beats himself up for that and wants to be more emotionally and physically accessible to you so you can shower your affections on him the way you want to. That’s what it really boils down to.

That means fishing for old parts of his youth he didn’t allow. Levi wants to challenge himself to be more open to receiving. He knows he keeps his appeal on lock and it’s time to change that because he sees that you enjoy such closeness. Just the way he does, but secretly.

He also says to you that you can always touch him the way you desire after work.

Levi sees how you like being hands-on and how you do it, and makes it firm that you don’t have to walk on eggshells, hold back, or ask like it’s a delicate matter.

Levi sees relationships in simple terms: Since you’re together, of course you can touch him. It’s part of the whole thing by default to him and he even assumed you took it for granted like there’s telepathy going on.

In fact, brace yourself: For the lack of a better word, it’s even his expectation that this happens. Not like an obligation but as in, that you take opportunities is a given to him, he anticipates it.

You reply that it’s good he communicates this, it’s got to be outspoken. His views on how this whole thing goes has to be out in the open. It gives you a lot more clarity on his boundaries, too.

Before another bout of jealousy unearths more taken-for-granted things, Levi realizes he has to make up his mind that he has to talk about his limits.

So, he also says he entrusts it to you to find the very right moments for skinship.

That entails kissing and pinning and sitting close to another. And sex. Which is pretty damn enjoyable with him, the real fucking deal. So steamy. My God.

And he makes it clear he does his paperwork fast and you can always ask, he’s never too busy to postpone things entirely. He’d rather die the next day after winding in the sheets than handling paper. Levi can’t sleep anyways so it gets his mind off. It’s always welcome and he tells you not to be hesitant.

Levi is the type to absolutely pick up the cues right away — and proceed to really make out against a wall really intensely — so you’re under no obligation to wave a giant red cloth in front of him like he’s a Spanish bull or whatever. He gets the hints and goes along. Not to worry.

You also ask Levi what he thinks about you initiating romantic things and he shrugs — „Do what you want.“

The brand of romance Levi is out for you can already guess anyways. Tea and more tea.

For now, that’s where you agree to “leave it at that” after he thanks you for being straightforward.

You launch your first affections before bedtime. He lets you sleep in his bed, damn right. You really have to be a priority to be able to reside there, I’m telling you. Levi rests with one eye open and in his harness, you have all the blanket for yourself to cuddle up in. That won’t stop you from peppering his face with a few very deliberately placed smooches.

Levi can’t deny he’s a sucker for getting forehead kisses. He drops his hygiene protocol just for that. Safe to say his man bun jealousy from earlier that day cools off in no time. Not to say it shatters completely when you go for the gold that is his pretty little mouth. He’s so overwhelmed emotionally, he almost cries. Levi never thought someone would do this with him.

You repeat the same thing next day, behind the barracks after sunset. Levi holds you real tight. He’s so addictive in the best way. Going by how breathless it all winds up to be, he doesn’t want the kisses to end.

What your height is handy for here? He can gaze up to the night sky when he locks lips with you. Levi, as we know, likes seeing the moon and training his neck flexibility anyways. But that’s not the purpose behind why he’s so down to kiss you so passionately, rest assured.

If he tiptoes a little, he can park his pretty face under your chin after you both ran out of air. Levi’s drug... your long neck. He thinks it smells so good.

He murmurs in response, but he actually wants to be gently cooed at and petted when he rests there. Just a little. He’s humming. Ah, so satisfying. Guess you aced the „Do what you want“ part. You’ll do this with him Lord knows for how many times.

Levi cuddles up at your chest later. Plenty of space for him, and he loves how your voice resounds from there.

Oh— by the way. Since Hanji installed one between the two apple trees outside: It’s always nice to sleep in a hammock with a tall girl. The fabric doesn’t fold him in, he can watch the stars with you off duty. You give him a reason to be content, and that’s the sweetest thing. Levi’s all in love, he’s really grateful. You go, Ma’am.

— more levi writings: sub!levi hc | levi’s happy end/tea shop hc

[eutxrpe]

hcs: hair care with bnha core three

hello! i hope you guys are doing well and much love! - xio ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ hcs: bnha boys helping their black s/o with their curls.

pairings: midoriya x black!reader, todoroki x black!reader, bakugo x black!reader

warning: fluff ⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ izuku midoriya

is the sweetest and gentlest with your hair!!

he researched a lot before even asking if he could touch your curls. 

izuku watched all the youtube videos and your hair routines to take notes on it.

he’s naturally a god at detangling and even massages your scalp a little as he does so.

gives you his old t-shirts to dry your hair with.

loves doing wash days with you. izuku’s got your favorite snacks, moisturizers, and comb already set out.

(it’s my personal hc that deku tans extremely fast and well because he has black relatives, so he knows the struggle.)

midoriya picks up braiding really easily, so ask him to do your box braids. it’ll take him a while if you ask him to take them down because he’s trying not to hurt you.

always asks if you need help with your hair if you look frustrated.

likes doing hair masks together.

asks you about the cultural significance of your hair, and after learning about it, izuku won’t hesitate to slap someone’s hand if it goes in the direction of your hair.

he probably creates a schedule to do your hair.

“want to train together, deku?”

“no, i have plans with (y/n). it’s wash day!”

treats your hair like the crown it is!

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ katsuki bakugo

ooo, before meeting you, he did not know anything. 

he examines your routine and hairstyles because he’s not asking you yet. afterwards, baku actually is knowledgeable when it comes to your hair.

listens carefully when you teach him.

can and will call you out if you don’t take care of your hair.

“you didn’t moisturize yesterday, did you, baka?” 

if you let bakugo take your braids down, he’s both careful and efficient... while yelling that you’re tender-headed.

really good at doing cornrows and crochet braids.

demands that he has to do your partitions. he wants his baby looking the best, alright?

since he wants your hair on point, he looks forward to wash day. it boosts his ego to see you share something so special with him. 

bakugo makes sure that your style is perfect all day.

thinks that space buns are adorable! (use that to your advantage if you can)

y’all have matching scarves and bonnets.

will yell and roast anyone who has the audacity to touch your hair without permission.

is inwardly shook at all of the different hairstyles you pull off.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆ shoto todoroki

is the literal definition of confusion when looking at your hair.

you walk into class with a twist-out, the next day, you have bantu knots, and next week, you’re rocking some faux locs. shoto’s brain is spinning, because he probably combs his hair flat in the morning and that’s it.

he has so many questions for you.

once you answer them, he’s still a bit overwhelmed. he definitely wants to help, but does not know how to approach your curls.

with your permission, shoto enjoys running his hands through your hair. his fingers are nimble, and sometimes you swear he’s trying to put you to sleep.

massages your scalp lovingly since he can’t fathom most of your hairstyles.

buys and orders you the best products that he can with his father’s credit card.

fixes and caresses your bonnet throughout the night.

much like izuku, todoroki enjoys the feeling of a mask on his hair.

considers wash day to be incredibly intimate

after a lot of practice and help from you, shoto gets really good at helping you maintain a twist-out or a wash and go.

“love, you look... ethereal.”

considers it adorable when you complain about your curls when you always look good to him. lots of kisses to your hairline and forehead.

is fascinated by your culture and up for listening to you whenever. the contrast between you and his japanese traditions amazes him.

fin.

[lichfucker]

2, 7, 12, and 22 for Ingot~

2. what's their current hairstyle? has it changed? do they change it often?

ingot has long straight hair that he wears down and it’s pretty much always been that way lmao. the way his horns kind of hug the side of his head basically acts as like a headband holding the hair there so it’s not. the easiest thing in the world to style his hair any other way. that being said, though, while he was a soldier he wore it back in a low bun, and very rarely (like, only ever on dates w z’ress, and even then mostly not) he’ll tie it into a low ponytail or something, nothing fancy, just something a little different to mark the occasion. but 99% of the time it’s just down. ingot takes good care of his hair, he likes it the way it is

7. how would they react to eating something that was spicier than they expected it to be?

g-d it’s so funny bc ingot has +3 constitution but they fail con saves so often that like any little Bad Sensation makes them throw up, so I honestly have a hard time gauging what their tolerance for spice would be. like on the one hand we’ve got posh little dandy boy who grew up eating food specifically made to their exact tastes, but on the other hand we also have someone who canonically doesn’t wear coats in winter because their blood runs so hot that they’re not really affected by the weather. either way though I think they’d react the same way I do, which is to just cringe and grit their teeth and not mention it at all because they don’t want to make a whole Thing out of perhaps not being able to handle it (in my case particularly it’s bc I’m weenie and I never know how to rate my tolerance compared to others’ so I perpetually live in fear of commenting on how spicy something is and having everyone look at me like I’m insane; I think for ingot it’s less of an insecurity thing and more of a pride/stoicism thing)

12. what color would they paint their room? would there be a design on the ceiling?

I tried to imagine ingot exerting that level of aesthetic control over a space and my brain short-circuited, which I know sounds contradictory based on Everything Else about ingot, but when we were first planning on going to brogana, jd and I spent a lot of time talking about what brogan keep looked like, and I was struggling so hard to find any reference photos that felt like what ingot’s bedroom would have been like, because they were all so... grand and ornate in ways that just didn’t feel right? and then I realized that a) a lot of emphasis would have been placed on the idea that public spaces are meant to be precious but private spaces are meant to be practical (grand foyers and lavish parlors because they’re on display, versus plain and undecorated bedrooms because they are purely functional), and b) many many generations of brogans have all lived in this same keep-- plenty of people lived in ingot’s bedroom before it was his, and more inevitably will after, as well; even if he’d wanted to, the space was never his to decorate, it was always borrowed. and even his bedroom now, in a house gifted by the emperor, is a space borrowed. all I can imagine are plain white walls because that’s all ingot can imagine. if you asked him to pick a color that feels comfortable and safe, he couldn’t

and there is not a single g-ddamn universe in which ingot paints a design onto their ceiling

22. when they speak, do they have a default tone of voice? if yes, do they try to change it? why?

ingot has to try very hard not to sound very arrogant and aggressive with everything they say, which is difficult because they are both very arrogant and aggressive lmao. they’re insightful enough to know that by default everything they say sounds condescending, but they’re not charismatic enough to have... a lot of control over their tone without concerted effort. it doesn’t matter how many times ingot shoots their friends (read: z’ress) with arrows, because they know that the times they’ve done the most harm to the people they care about have been the times when they’ve just. spoken freely and without regard

[spilledinkstories]

One Level Down

(writing prompt: you board an elevator of strangers and someone says “thank you all for coming”— I just kind of ran with this one, didn’t take it too seriously... :P )

“So I bet you are wondering why I’ve asked you here,” said the woman in the red overcoat.

I had been planning this specific trip to my university’s library for about two weeks now. I had placed a hold on a rare copy of a book you could only read in-house, and I had been notified of the date of my viewing. It was in a temperature-controlled basement room, and to be honest, I had been feeling pretty great about the whole experience. Like this made me a Real Scholar, or something. 

It was a book on the archeological findings at a famous site in China. I was writing a paper on how a report provided by women versus men often offered different focal points of the ideas of the ancient society, or different perspectives on that society all together. For example, you might get a bigger focus in a report on home life rather than warfare. That was the department’s hope, anyway. This was of course a research question posed by the department, and I had been wondering what on earth could be so different in two reports filed on the finding of a hairbrush, but anyway. The temperature-controlled room sounded cool, and I was all about that academic aesthetic. I kind of felt like it was part of some Indiana Jones movie, doing research of relics and ancient peoples, being involved in the ongoing discourse around history, the relationship between a person digging up some ancient artifact in a remote land, and then tourists paying pocket change to stare at it for five seconds. 

So, you can imagine my surprise when, crammed on an old elevator with several other people in various states of exhaustion, digging for gum in my overflowing backpack to eradicate the taste of crappy cafeteria coffee on my breath, the woman spoke. 

No one said anything for a couple seconds. 

“Really, no one is curious?” She pressed. 

“We got your memo, ma’am,” said one of the young men in a baggy sweatshirt. 

“Didn’t think to question it,” said another.

“Headquarters told me yesterday, I flew out immediately,” said a girl in a voice simply dripping with a thirst to prove herself. It’s worth mentioning that we were six Americans standing in an elevator in London, England.

“Good,” said the woman in the red coat. 

“Why a library,” whined the first boy. “I thought joining up meant a life of excitement, not…books.”

I had to hide my grin, not wanting to be caught. I don’t know if they knew I didn’t know what was happening, but I’ll tell you: I didn’t. I was intrigued though, and figured it wouldn’t hurt to pretend I was one of them for a little while.

“Well, I assume you all brought your paperwork with you, so we won’t waste any time getting started. I’ve booked the main room down here for one hour, so let’s be sharp, got it?” The woman in red spoke with an authority that was positively presidential. We fell in line like soldiers as the elevator doors creaked open, and she marched down a carpeted hall to what looked like a conference room. 

I was beginning to question my new plan, realizing I’d miss my viewing of the book if I stayed too long with these strangers, when someone spoke in my ear. “I haven’t seen you before, but it’s nice to have another girl on the team. Wanna sit next to me?”

“Okay,” I whispered back. 

“I’m Anna,” she said, smiling.

“Ivy,” I whispered back. 

“Sit,” said the woman in the red coat, as we entered the conference room. She stood at the front and fired up her laptop, and had it projecting onto the screen in a couple of seconds. Images of old manuscripts and letters filled the screen, all too faint to read properly. 

“So, I want you to go around the room really quickly, tell me your names, and your departments,” she commanded, turning quickly to the young man sitting to her left.

“Brandon, fact checking,” he said.

“Adam, restoration,” said the one who had whined that it was a library job. 

“Jake, archeology.” This one shocked me, since he was dressed like a stoner that thought pop music would be the death of culture but was secretly in love with Taylor Swift. Maybe they were all disguised look like students, to blend on campus or something…

I gulped. I was sweating now, the skin behind my knees prickling inside my tights. Clearly this was some official thing – the power suit the boss lady had been hiding under her red coat was proof of that enough. The skater skirt I had on was okay, and my baggy green knit sweater hid the Captain America t-shirt underneath, and my combat boots hid my Dr. Who socks…but I still felt massively out of place. The space buns hairstyle really was the cherry on top. The epitome of e-girl wannabe, nerdy art student, who’d invited herself to this meeting. I gulped again. “Ivy, sociology,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t shake. 

“Anna, state department,” the other girl said directly after I’d spoken. She looked polished too, like an intern at a high end tech company or something. Wait. Did she say state department?

“Great, and I’m Dr. Grayson, here on behalf of, well, a few people. Important people. Okay. Let’s get started. The short version is that the manuscripts you see on this screen are actually fakes, and we have to prove it. The long version is that they were  pulled from a recent dig at a site said to house artifacts from the Byzantine empire, and they are to be displayed at the British Museum next month. It’s a political scheme. In essence, the scientists pushing these documents want to present them to the public as proof that an archaic and brutal form of biochemical warfare was commonly used before, in order to try to naturalize it into the minds of civilians, in hopes that if it’s used later they won’t deem it a warcrime that came out of nowhere.” With that, Dr. Grayson began handing out papers around the table, giving us a moment to digest.

Um. 

What the hell had I walked into? I needed to go. I had to get out of there. But how was I supposed to leave without them knowing I didn’t belong? On the other hand, how was I supposed to sit here and listen to the rest of this and then try to walk away, having heard all their plans? Either way I felt like I was done for. I could feel the sweat prickling my armpits and the backs of my knees, and my toes felt slick inside my shoes. My stomach felt acidic, and I could feel it churning and roiling. I was sure Jake and Anna on either side of me could hear my heart palpitating and my breath coming in short, uneven rasps.

“Your handouts outline the task ahead of us. Of course the lawyers are already trying to handle the scientists putting this research forward as legitimate, so we’re not really going to focus on the publicity angle ourselves. Our focus is to prove that this document is a fake. We’re going to analyze it, and we’ll have to dig up some research on warfare of the time, but we’ll also be dispatching our own team to the dig site. We want to see what other artifacts or things they supposedly dug up there. Anything we can do to discredit this.”

“Right, so Brandon and I can team up, if you want,” Adam said.

“I’d hoped so. You two can work on trying to disprove the authenticity of these artifacts. They’re here actually, in the other room. Being cared for. The staff here put them in the maps room.” 

Holy crap…what had I walked into. I had known choosing to go to university in London would be exiting - I’d always loved British culture, but I thought I’d be reading Shakespeare and arguing essays from Ophelia’s perspective…stuff like that. Saying that Lady Macbeth could be construed as a hero, given women’s issues of the times. Not…this.

“So, that leaves Jake, Anna, and Ivy,” Dr. Grayson was saying, “perfect. We’ll get on the jet, and we should be at the dig in about three hours. You’ll be fitted with the proper tools, of course.”

Oh my god. Oh my god. Why had I followed them off that elevator?

An hour later I was seated between Jake and Anna on a very small airplane, taking off from Heathrow. 

“So, state department, huh? Couldn’t stand to let actual scientists get some work done without a babysitter?” Jake tossed this scornfully at Anna, ignoring me who was awkwardly slumped in my seat and wishing I didn’t exist.

“Unsupervised scientists are exactly what created this mess, dumbo.” 

“Wow, I can’t believe you called me that. Dumbo. Ouch. How am I going to be able to focus on my work, with a wound so deep?” 

“Ugh,” Anna rolled her eyes, and turned to look out her window. And by god, I wish she hadn’t, because Jake turned to me instead.

“Cute hair, by the way. You blended in really well. Sociology, you said? What’s your area?” I gulped, my throat feeling like it was made of carpet. I was an introvert to begin with, so honest conversation with strangers posed enough of a challenge. But this was another beast entirely.

“Im interested in women’s suffrage,” I squeaked.

“Of course you are. No, I didn’t mean your disguise,” he said with a laugh. He must have mistaken my anxiety for anger, because he followed with “I mean, we’re all into women’s rights. Don’t get me wrong. I just meant…like…what’s your speciality, like, why’d you get put on this specific case?” 

I wracked my brains so hard I wondered if it was possible to inflict a concussion that way.

“I was in the middle of conducting research on how different teams of anthropologists or archeologists can influence the public image of ancient societies, based on publication and subsequent publicity.” 

“Oh, so you’re from the office of public affairs, basically,” he said in a bored voice. 

“Have you ever been to a dig before?” Anna asked, sounding politely interested. I simply shook my head. 

“Okay, no worries, Jake and I can handle the grunt work, and you can focus on your write-up. I’m sure you’ve got a tight deadline for this.” I smiled appreciatively, blown away that my answer had satisfied them and terrified of making things worse. 

“Wait, I thought Grayson said we weren’t covering the publicity, that they had lawyers on it,” Jake said.

“It’s more academics,” I said vaguely, and they nodded as though this meant something significant. 

Thank the lord we spent the rest of the flight in relative silence, reading through the documents Grayson had handed out. They really just outlined procedures for the dig site, and our capacity there, but Anna had assured me I could just linger to a side with a laptop if I wanted.

We touched down in Genoa around three in the afternoon. 

At least if it was my last day as a free citizen on this earth, I could say I’d gone to Italy with a frankly quite attractive scientist boy. Not a bad last day, as these things go. With mountains on one side and the sea on the other, it was absolutely breathtaking. If I hadn’t been in the middle of an hours-long panic attack, I think it would have been the best day of my life. 

Off the plane, we got into an SUV right there on the tarmac, and as I watched the scenery slip from urban to rural I wondered what had inspired these fake scientists or whatever to even want to do this. What kind of biochemical warfare were they suggesting? Dr. Grayson hadn’t said, and none of the paperwork had said it either. I suppose the others back in London would decode it from the manuscripts, if that’s what they were doing, but…

“So you’re here to report on us, Anna tells me. I was wondering who you were,” Grayson spoke in a quiet voice from the front seat. I said nothing, feeling like my throat was going to swell shut in panic. Was I busted? Would they tie rocks to my feet and toss me out to sea?

“I don’t blame you for not wanting to speak up until we were on our way. The bureaucrats never want the researchers involved, but then they get mad when the researchers say something they don’t like, so what’s the point? You may as well be here and get the proper intel.” She swivelled in the front seat to face me. “Don’t make me regret it, got it?” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I said in what I hoped was a winning voice. I saw a smirk tugging at the corners of Jake’s mouth, and tried to soothe the raging panic in my head and stomach. 

The dig site was honestly kind of disappointing. I had built it up in my head to look like a whole government facility built on a crater in the ground, with tents, scaffolding, desks, the works. But nope. This was just a crater in the ground, with a couple of ropes spanning the width of it here and there, I guess to mark the split between sections or something. That, and a couple of stools and ladders, and it was your run-of-the-mill pit.

“You’ll want this. Don’t forget the back of the neck,” Jake said, handing me a tube of sunscreen. 

“Oh, thanks,” I said, smirking as I took a bit and passed it on to Anna, who began vigorously rubbing some into her face and arms. 

“Tools are in the trunk,” Grayson said, “I’ll be in the car as I have to update the Upstairs. Private phone call, you get it. Get to work.” Anna sprung into action. It was like she was racing Jake to get the tools and pick a spot first, wanting to beat him at every turn. 

“You’re not even a real archeologist,” he grumbled, leaving my side to gather his equipment. 

“Tell that to the state department,” she called, and he looked pissed that she’d heard. 

“Which state, even?” He asked.

“Virginia.” 

“CIA then?” 

“Not necessarily.” 

I said nothing, letting them bicker. I went to the trunk and peered in, seeing a stack of coveralls. I picked on up to inspect it, thinking it might be nice to cover up my outfit that was feeling less and less professional by the second. 

“Good thinking,” Anna said, grabbing a pair herself. All suited up, she pulled a laptop out of a bag and passed it to me. 

“Here ya go, I guess you didn’t get a chance to bring yours.”

“Is there internet here?” I asked.

“Yep, car acts as a router. High tech,” she said. I took the computer from her silently.

The three of us trudged back to the pit, where the other two lost no time hopping in and surveying their turf. 

“So,” I said awkwardly, “we’re supposed to see if we can find any other manuscripts? Or anything suggesting biochemical warfare?”

“Partly, yeah. I’m also going to be inspecting the dig site itself to try to disprove that they found any paper substances. Particles left behind, impressions in the ground, you know.” Jake was bobbing his head, hands on his hip, looking like my dad about to mow the lawn on Sunday morning.

“You can do that?” I asked. He laughed, seeming to think I was being facetious. I wasn’t. I was just clueless, but I guess I’m glad he didn’t see it.

“I’ll just watch you both work for a while, and then I’ll start my write-up. I need to observe to figure out my angle.” I tried to muster as much authority in my voice as possible, as though I’d done this kind of thing before. 

“Yeah, okay,” Anna said absently. A couple of minutes later and some awkward waiting with my hands in my pockets, laptop waiting on a stool, the others had picked work spots and gotten to it. 

The silence was broken only by the sound of shifting dirt, and the occasional ruffle or grunt from one of them. Subtle glances back to the car suggested that Grayson may not be joining us in the pit at all, which was a relief. I watched as Jake poked and prodded at the ground, a look of deep concentration on his face, compared to Anna’s digging with all the fervour of a child told to find treasure in a sandbox. 

There was nothing for it. I went over to the stool, opened the laptop, and started typing. I wrote of the bureaucratic nature of science, as Grayson had put it in the car, and how publication could really be a business. How people had to fight to get their ideas heard. How certain things were deemed more or less important to the government for example, versus the public sphere. 

Basically, I sat in coveralls, on a stool in a pit in Genoa, Italy, and wrote my term paper. 

I tried to spin it so that the finding of a hairbrush, or a kitchen tool, would be treated very differently than the finding of a weapon, and whether or not it was a man or woman who discovered it really made no difference. Both men and women work in bureaucratic systems and in academics in today’s world, and both have access to controlling information. I wrote something like that, hoping if Grayson checked what I’d been working on, she’d see it as a government report on academia, since that was my only thread of legitimacy to work with where these strangers were concerned. After I finished I quickly emailed it to myself, hoping no-one would notice, and then I could just email my professor saying I couldn’t see the book I was supposed to but I’d written a paper for the deadline anyway.

By the time I’d finished my write up it was nearing six o’clock. Jake pulled up a stool next to me, and braced his forearms on his knees. 

“I can’t see any evidence of a real dig here. I don’t get it,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I said slowly, closing the laptop, having quadruple checked that I’d sent the work to my school email and saved it.

“I mean there wasn’t a dig here. This isn’t a real archeological site.” 

“So where did the fake manuscripts come from then?” I asked, wondering how on earth he could tell.

“I don’t know. I also don’t know why Grayson wouldn’t have known that before we got out here.” 

“Well, someone had to be the first to check,” I offered, blushing a little for fear this was a stupid comment. He looked at me, real suspicion entering his eyes for the first time.

“There are scientists in Italy. We didn’t need to fly out here to check it. Something’s up.” In the setting sun, the green flecks in his brown eyes caught the light, and I realized he was younger than I had originally thought. He couldn’t have been out of school that long.

“Maybe Grayson is in on it?” But before Jake could reply to this, Anna joined us in our little corner of the pit.

“Anyone have any water?” Jake passed her some, and she gulped it down before saying, “I’ve been digging for almost three hours and haven’t found a single thing.” 

I felt the familiar surges of panic making their way through my veins, making my ears ring and my head feel stuffy, and making the other two feel oddly distant. 

“Maybe the site has already been cleared out?” I offered, my voice squeaky. Anna passed me the water bottle, mistaking my rasp for thirst.

“How’s it going down here?” The three of us froze, staring at each other. Grayson had gotten out of the car, and hopped into the pit, the heels of her shoes sinking an inch or two in the loose dirt. She shuffled over to us, maintaining her look of authority. 

“Yeah, good,” Jake said, “I think I’ve seen all I need to for a first look.” 

“You’re only getting one look,” she drawled.

“I haven’t found any other artifacts,” Anna said, “I think whoever was here before cleared everything out.” 

“And where would they have put it?” Grayson demanded. Anna fell silent, taken aback. 

“I don’t think anyone really was here before. I think this is a fabricated dig site.” While I didn’t know Jake very well, there was no mistaking the challenge in his voice. Grayson’s eyes narrowed a little, and she took a couple steps closer to where Jake was seated beside me, so she could tower over him. 

“And what are you suggesting, exactly, Jake?” 

“When I’m working I go by Dr. Miller. I’m suggesting that they gave you a fake location to send you on a goose chase, or that perhaps those manuscripts don’t exist at all.”

“Then what would you suggest is in the maps room back in London?” She said dangerously. 

“I couldn’t tell you, seeing as I never saw them in person.” A grin flickered on Grayson’s face. I caught Anna’s eye from where she was standing behind Grayson, and read the worry as a pretty bad sign. 

“Who would want to send me on a wild goose chase?”

“You’re the government official, not me. Who exactly do you work for, Dr. Grayson? And what are you a doctor of, exactly?”

“Political science, it’s just a title. I work for the secretary of defence.” At this, Jake laughed in her face. 

“The U.S. government is worried about some old scroll they dug up in the mountains that suggests some ancient civilization knew how to…what? Poison each other? This is a joke, right?” Jake stood up and strolled away from the group, shaking his head.

“Not poison,” she said quietly.

“Then what?” I asked, immediately realizing I’d broken my vow to myself to keep my stupid gob shut.

“Classified,” she said with an arched brow.

“So again, why fake the site?” Anna asked. 

“The scientists who produced the documents could have said it was here to buy time until the exhibition,” I offered, since Grayson was still staring at me. She flicked an eyebrow up again, and finally broke her stare to turn her eyes on Jake.

“Are any of you wearing microphones?” She asked. 

“No,” we all said unanimously. She exhaled wearily, rubbing a hand over her tired eyes.

“Alright. What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this pit. The scrolls outline a way of spreading a virus that was apparently employed all the way back then. Given the recent pandemic all over the world, that’s not the kind of thing the public needs to be seeing. But these scientists are convinced it needs to go public. You can see how that would strike fear into the hearts of everyone. They’d all be convinced they were the recent victims of a large-scale government attack.” 

“Who are these scientists? Archeologists, whoever?” Anna said, disgust colouring her words.

“We’re wasting time here, we can talk about this on the jet back to London. I want to see those manuscripts,” Jake said, and he strode to the edge of the pit and hauled himself out. I was shocked that Grayson didn’t counter his authority, and instead followed him. 

I slept most of the plane ride back to London. I’d listened to them bicker and swap theories while we ate our way through a couple of pizzas that were waiting for us on the tarmac, but they’d mostly talked in circles. The more they talked, the less Grayson really seemed to know, and Jake kept saying he needed to see these artifacts.

With the time change back, it was about nine when we landed, and ten pm when we reached the university. I felt better, having slept a bit, but my head was still pounding with exhaustion from the events of the day.

We loaded ourselves back into the same elevator in the university library, and headed one level down. Instead of going to the conference room we headed down another hallway, where the map room was tucked away.

“They said they were still here,” Grayson said, leading us. She opened the door, and I would have been impressed by the collection of old maps had I not flown to the northern coast of Italy and back that afternoon.

“Where are they?” Jake asked harshly. 

“I don’t know,” Grayson admitted. 

“Dr. Grayson, have you worked with either Brandon or Adam previously?” Anna asked. 

“No, I haven’t. I haven’t worked with any of you before.” 

“Do you know who they work for?” Anna pressed. 

“No.”

“They just said fact checking and restoration. That could be government, a university,” Anna was trailing off. 

“A museum, even,” Jake offered. 

“I mean now that I think of it, you didn’t check any of our credentials,” Anna said, glaring at Grayson. 

“Hang on a minute, I knew five people were supposed to be joining me in the map room. I don’t appreciate your suggestion that I’m incompetent. They’re probably out grabbing coffee.”

“But how do we know they weren’t just two random guys on the elevator?” Anna said, wringing her hands. I was beginning to think she was scared that her own butt was on the line here, but mine was too so…relatable. 

“Oh, you’re back, perfect,” said a voice as the door opened, and Brandon and Adam walked in. The room was cramped with all of us standing in there. 

“From what we can tell, they’re real,” Adam said.

“They can’t be, the dig site seemed fake,” Jake said. “Let me see it.”

“I mean, obviously more rigorous testing has to be done than what we can do in a day, but it seems pretty authentic to me,” Brandon was saying as he led Jake over to where they’d been examining a very old, gross looking scroll of paper.

“Who do you two work for?” Grayson asked them, and they looked at her in shock. 

“I work for the British Museum, in the restoration department,” Adam said a little uncertainly. 

“I work for the university here, but I was hired as a consultant by the government,” Brandon said a little pompously. 

“And who do you work for?” Grayson said, turning on me. 

My throat burned. My eyes stung. I felt my head swimming, my palms prickling and my knees shaking. My limbs felt weirdly weightless. They were all staring at me now, and I knew there was nothing for it. 

“It’s like Anna said…I was just a stranger on the elevator. I followed you guys to the conference room earlier half as a joke, and then I got too scared to leave cause I thought I’d get in trouble,” it was all just tumbling out of me, and I didn’t care that tears were tracking down my face. “I should never have gotten on the plane, I should have never even followed you down the hall off of the elevator. I was on my way to look at an old book for a sociology paper I’m supposed to submit this weekend.”

To my absolute shock, Jake started to laugh. Not just a chuckle, he really laughed. Despite myself, I laughed a little too.

“I really was supposed to write a paper on different perspectives on the publications in the archeology and anthropology world, but this took it to a whole new level. I did a write up at the dig site and emailed it to myself to submit for class, but I can delete it if you want.” I looked at Grayson, fear spiking in my gut again. 

“I’ll read it first, but you clearly know nothing so I’m sure it’s harmless,” she said with an eye roll. why had I laughed? Surely ‘apologetic’ and terrified was what I should be going for, not acting like I was gloating.

“Are you gonna lock me up?” I squeaked, fresh hot tears running into my mouth and off my chin.

“What for? So you came to Italy, big deal. If Jake is right and the site is fake, you basically flew with us to see a random hole in the ground. We’ll draft up a non-disclosure agreement, track your phone for a few days, keep an eye on you…to be honest, with something like this, it doesn’t really matter that one little girl knows.” I was a bit offended at being called a little girl, but I took her point. Even if I posted about today all over my social medias, I would be discounted pretty quickly by the public, especially since I had no photos to back it up. Kinda like that history channel guy convinced aliens were responsible for historical landmarks.

“So…” I started, unsure what I was attempting to say. 

Adam pulled a wad of cafeteria napkins out of his pocket. “It’s okay, no one thinks you meant anything by it. You got swept up in it. No big deal.” 

“It still doesn’t answer my question though,” Jake insisted. “Where did these come from? If they are real, why do they surface now? Who found them? And if they’re fake, still who?”

“All I know is my boss gave me the assignment,” Grayson shrugged. 

“What does that mean? You’re blaming the American government for this?” Anna said acidly. 

I sat down in a chair tucked in the corner, glad I didn’t have to pretend I knew what was going on, or that I had any roll in this. 

“Can I go?” I asked, suddenly desperate for silence and solitude. I’d had enough.

“Yeah. We know where to find you,” Grayson said, exhaustion dripping from her own voice. 

I left the room. I walked back down the hallway, boarded the elevator and left the university library. I walked back to my dorm, in a complete daze, unable to process the day I’d just experienced. I’d snuck into some top secret government meeting and flown to Italy to attempt to disprove evidence of an ancient virus spreading technique. 

At least I’d still managed to write my paper, and I’d tried pizza in Italy, so that was pretty cool. 

A week later, with an A on my paper that I’d turned in, headlines broke that people suspected foul play with the pandemic we’d just survived the year prior. People began to suspect that it was brought on by some government or other, but then other outlets said that was just paranoia. Others still said it was old news, and what were we supposed to do about it anyway.

I bought a ticket to the British Museum, and saw the manuscript on display for everyone to see. A little blurb was posted beside it, saying how its authenticity was severely questioned, but it was no doubt real. 

No one seemed to care. I never did find out where those manuscripts really came from.

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Time to heal- Shiro Ship Week Day 1

Time to give love to our favourite space dad! I still haven’t seen s8 because I wasn’t ready to sit and go through all the emotions but I’m sure once my job is over I can easily set my self on fire watching this. One of the things I did wish was that Adam wasn’t killed because, god, those two just needed a chance to talk. Even if they didn’t get back together, just talk. So here’s my fic where they got to do just that, enjoy! Wounds

“You know, I don’t think you’ve ever spent so much time on a ship.” Keith said, watching Shiro type away at a computer on the Atlas.

“I do have work I need to do before we leave.”

“And that work doesn’t include maybe, oh I don’t know, maybe visiting Adam? You know, your fiancé who managed to actually survive that ship explosion that Commander Sanda sent him to.”

“Ex-fiancé. He broke it off because I choose to do the Kerberos mission rather than stay here.” Shiro reminded, his voice sounding hard.

“To be fair, your disease was getting worse. The Galra did you a favour of cutting that arm off for you.” Keith pointed out, ignoring the glare Shiro gave him. “You thought you wouldn’t get the chance to talk to him after all of this, then we found out that he was taken by a Galra group, patched together and then forced to work on whatever camp he was in. You should be talking to him.”

“Don’t you have a Blue Paladin second in command to go and comfort?” Shiro asked, hoping to get Keith to leave him alone and go and see Lance, who was still trying to get over Allura telling him she didn’t have romantic feelings for him, let alone ready for a relationship after the whole Lotor issue.

“Fine, I’m going. Just didn’t think the one guy I always respected would be running away from a guy, especially one he’s still heads over heels for. Black told me you always thought about him.” With that, Keith left, leaving Shiro to his thoughts.

He wasn’t surprised Black told Keith about Adam. She was such a mother. Even though he wasn’t technically a Paladin anymore, he’d still feel her rooting around in his mind at times. When they finally arrived on earth and got to the Garrison, he thought Adam was gone, killed when his ship was shot down. To find out that he was actually alive – hurt, blinded in one eye and missing a leg, but alive – he knew he should have gone and seen him. But, the wounds from when Adam left him were still there. He was never mad at him for leaving. He was being selfish, wanting to prove to everyone he could still be a pilot. Adam was scared he was going to lose him and didn’t want to have to face that. Course, Adam was right in the end, he did get hurt, just not in a way any of them expected. He had sworn to himself that when they finally returned to earth, he’d sit down and talk to him but now that he had the opportunity, he was hiding himself in the Atlas. It was one of the few times he was happy he wasn’t a Paladin anymore. Black would just take him to Adam without his consent and drop him on his doorstep. Though, he had somehow managed to turn the Atlas into a mecha, so he shouldn’t be too surprised if it gained a mind of its own.

He had been so focused on working on whatever paperwork and mapping out the places they had to travel to, he almost didn’t see the message Sam had sent him.

Matt has finally finished your new prosthetic, you can come and see it. We can discuss your operation to change it.

Some people, i.e., him and his whole team, pointed out that his new arm wasn’t the best thing. It was a lot to have to remember to keep his floating arm near. If he let his thoughts drift, his arm went with it. Plus, Shiro was getting a bit tired of being used to hack into computers. Enough people had rattled around his head, thank you very much. Matt and Pidge had worked on making him an arm similar to his old one, but with the looks of his new one. He just hoped his body didn’t reject this one. He wanted to actually return Allura’s crystal from her crown. No need to give up the piece that showed her as a queen when there where was still Alteans who needed a leader.

He stretched, already ready to get rid of the floating arm as it started pulling his flesh arm a bit to hard.

Leaving the Atlas now. I’ll be there soon.

                                                           ______

“Was the floating arm, that bad?” Matt asked, as he pulled his hair into a high bun. His mother kept insisting he cut it, but he was having fun putting it into different hairstyles.

Pidge looked up from where she was doing last minute checks. She been at her house but got bored looking at the TV show for Voltron and decided to help on Shiro’s arm.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t ask that.”

“I liked it.”

Pidge rolled her eyes at her brother. He was such a nerd.

“Excuse me,” a voice called from the door. Pidge looked over her shoulder to see a guy in a Garrison uniform. He wore glasses despite the large scar on his face that obviously left him blind in his left eye. She saw that one of his pant legs was pulled up, showing off a familiar silver leg prosthetic. The metal looked like what had been used on Shiro’s old prosthetic. “I was told to come here if I had any issues with my prosthetic.”

“Adam?”

“Matt?”

Pidge looked at both her brother and the guy. “Do you two know each other?”

“Uh, yeah.” Matt said, seeming to be unsure of what to say when Adam interrupted.

“Through a mutual friend.”

Somehow, Pidge could tell this mutual friend was important but also not to be talked about.

“So your prosthetic?”

“Yeah, got it when I got captured by the Galra after my ship crashed.”

“Wait a second. Weren’t you one of the pilots who was sent out by Commander Sanda?”

“Yeah. Managed to survive somehow but was captured by the Galra. After I was considered recovered enough, I was sent to work in their camp. My leg’s been giving me trouble since I got rescued. It actually collapsed under me today.”

“Alright come here.” Matt said.

Pidge got up to help when she heard a very familiar voice.

“Matt, your dad said you finished my arm. When can we get this annoying thing-” she turned to see Shiro in the doorway staring at Adam. “Adam.” The disbelief in his voice made it obvious to Pidge, this was how Adam and Matt knew each other.

“Takashi.” Well there was another. As far as Shiro told them, everyone called him Shiro because no one correctly pronounced Takashi.

“I…” Shiro trailed off. “I’ll come back later.” And with that, Shiro turned tail and left, though it looked more like running away.

“Damn, I didn’t think he’d get here so quickly.” Matt said, Adam pulling his arm away to get on to the table himself, staring at the door where Shiro disappeared from.

“Um, probably none of my business but I’m gonna ask anyway. How do you two know each other?”

“Pidge.” Matt scolded.

“It’s fine. I guess he never said anything. We were engaged.”

“What?”

                                                           _______

Shiro, that guy who came in, you were engaged to him? (Pidge)

Wait, Shiro was engaged to a guy? How did I not know this? (Hunk)

It’s Adam isn’t it? Hunk, come on, you know Shiro never hid his orientation. How do you think I was able to figure out my own? I always thought they looked good together. (Lance)

Wait, Adam, the guy who taught Aerodynamics? The one who offered to tutor you before they kicked Keith out? (Hunk)

How the heck did you catch Adam’s attention? (Keith)

What can I say Keith? He obviously saw greatness. (Lance)

Shiro’s eye twitched as he watched his team talk about his relationship with Adam. Like it wasn’t enough that he bumped into him earlier without being ready. He ran off without even talking him.

He still called him Takashi. Other than his late parents, he was the only one to call him by his name. most didn’t bother to try, taking the nickname he offered instead. He always felt bad that he couldn’t stop the Galra earlier, before they could have attacked Earth. Seeing Adam, who despite his not perfect eyesight was a promising pilot, blind in one eye because Commander Sanda thought he was a better fit to go up against the Galra, it hurt. He also had a prosthetic leg. Adam was an avid volleyball player. He didn’t doubt that it would stop him, but it would be harder for him.

“Shiro? Can I come in?” Matt called from outside Shiro’s room.

“Yes.” Matt came in, sitting at the desk. “Your sister is outing me to the team.”

“I thought you never hid it? Just never denied it.” Matt pointed out, which Shiro rolled his eyes at. That might have been true but still. “In case you were wondering, Adam is ok. His leg wasn’t as good as your arm so it’s starting to breakdown. We’ve got him scheduled to get a replacement tomorrow to make sure he doesn’t risk gaining an infection. He asked how you were. I told him we were giving you a new arm because you didn’t like your current one.”

“It makes no sense. I didn’t complain before because we were in the middle of a war. Plus, I could do without it being used to help you and your dad hack into Galra ships with my brain being used as the computer.”

“Fair enough. So…I take you never went to see Adam when he was rescued.”

Shiro shook his head. “what was I supposed to say? Last time I saw him, he pretty much told me our engagement was over because I was being selfish, which I was. Then I disappear for what, 3 years and then because we couldn’t end this fight, he got hurt.”

“Ok come on. Shiro, that wasn’t your fault. The Galra would have come eventually and you can’t dismantle a 10,000 year old empire in 3 years. Besides, Adam knew what being a fighter pilot meant. He can be mad at you for wanting to prove something over your own health, but he’s not mad at you for what happened. I mean, hello, you made the Atlas into a mecha to save your team. Can’t be mad at someone like that.”

“To be fair, including the time my clone was a Paladin, I was fighting in a mecha for 2 years.” Shiro sighed. “I wasn’t ready to see him though. We both left wounds on each other and I wasn’t ready to try and heal the ones I left on him, especially the physical ones.”

Matt looked sad, like he was upset he couldn’t help Shiro. “Do you think you can do me a favour? Adam’s parent’s died last year, before the Galra attacks so no one will be there when he’s recovering. You still have time to get your transplant done and you can recover on the Atlas and honestly, you need to talk to him, even if it’s just a ‘I’m glad you’re alive’.”

He knew he was right. He couldn’t just continue running off whenever he got scared. He fought the Galra for god’s sake. Being in the same room as he ex-fiancé shouldn’t scare him, though it did. God, he rather go fight Galra again.

                                                          __________

Tempting as it was to just hide and leave someone else to deal with it, he stayed. Plus, Allura heard what was going on (Thanks Keith) and insisted he at least stay and talk to him.

“There are things I regret never saying to my father before I was sealed away. I don’t have that chance anymore but you do. At least tell him the things you wanted to tell him if you weren’t taken.”

Seeing Adam unconscious without his glasses sent Shiro back to when he’d find Adam asleep on the couch in the teacher’s lounge after grading all evening. Even with the scar on his face, he still looked the same. He had to stop himself from pressing a kiss to his cheek like he used to, though, he missed seeing the sleepy smile that would come to Adam’s face as he woke up.

When the anaesthesia wore off, Adam groaned a little, looking like he had crashed hard the day before. He had a habit of doing that. God, Shiro could lecture him about that for days, but the minute he became a Paladin, he started exhibiting the bad habit. He opened his eyes, his fully green eye slowly focusing on the ceiling. He blinked a bit before turning his head, stilling when he saw Shiro sitting next to his bed. Shiro didn’t say anything, still too nervous to speak.

“Your hair is white.”

Ok, not what he was expecting, but Shiro could work with that.

“My hair used to look like yours.” He said, nodding to the white streak in Adam’s hair. It wasn’t as big as Shiro’s had been.

“You look like Allen Walker but with shorter hair.”

Shiro let out a little laugh. Adam’s favourite anime was D.Gray Man. Relaxation for him meant sitting in front of the tv watching episodes or reading the manga over and over again.

“When I heard about the Kerberos mission, I was pissed off, but not at you. They said you were responsible but I knew that couldn’t be true. I know I said you shouldn’t have gone, but I also knew that you would have done everything to bring everyone back. You’ve always been that stubborn. One of things I can’t stand about you sometimes but also one of the things I admire.”

“I…didn’t know that. I thought you would have hated me.”

“I never hated you Takashi. I was just mad that you seemed to care more about proving a point than your life.”

“I get that.” Shiro said, “but you have to understand. Since I was a kid, I let this disease control my life. When I told my family I wanted to go to space, they didn’t think I could do it and I decided to stop letting it control me. Every step I took had someone thinking I couldn’t achieve this. Yes, I know it was getting worse, and yes, I know I was being so selfish, but I had to prove that I could do it. When you broke it off, I thought I didn’t have anything to lose.”

Adam stared at him before he moved his hand, like he was reaching for Shiro. Hesitantly, Shiro gave him his hand, which was squeezed with as much strength as Adam could give.

“If I begged you, you would have stayed?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“But you would have wished you went in the back of your mind.”

Shiro couldn’t deny it. “Yeah.”

“Well, I’m glad you did. Could have done without the getting captured by aliens though. It broke my heart thinking that you thought I hated you when you left, except you did.”

“I hurt you. I wouldn’t have been mad if you did.” Shiro said, wanting to put his other hand on top of their clasped hands, but he didn’t trust the floating arm to actually work when his emotions were running high. “I am sorry I hurt you. I should have talked to you and explained everything, but I bottled it up. Kinda like I’ve been doing since I heard you were alive. I was scared about what would be said, so I just stay clamed up.”

Adam moved his free hand to Shiro’s face, the Atlas captain moving closer to allow Adam to touch his face. “You always did have a habit of keeping things to yourself. God, no wonder Keith is a ticking time bomb.” He teased.

“Yeah, guess he didn’t get your calm demeanour.”

“By the way, that floating arm looks really stupid.”

Shiro couldn’t help but laugh. There was the no filter bluntness that drew Shiro to Adam in the first place. “I know. I’m getting it changed. Do you know Sam used it like a bug of sorts to hack into a Galra ship? My brain was the computer.”

“I respect that man, especially after what he accomplished after he returned to Earth, but he is weird as hell.”

“I’ll let him know. Before I forget, I’m heading back out to space soon, after my arm is changed. I don’t want to make the same mistake again and lose you.”

“Well, we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. I think we’ve been through enough already.”

It didn’t mean things were automatically fixed, but wounds were starting to heal and that meant something.

[lintskukka]

Remnants of the Legacy

Summary: Rey needs to finish her training.

→ Read on FF.net

→ Read on AO3

A/N: This was supposed to be one-shot but oh well.

These are your first steps

The sand-covered surface of Jakku is more than familiar to Rey. She knows ins and outs of it. She knows how warm the surface gets during the day, how you couldn’t walk barefooted without burning your skin, how dangerous and painful sandstorms can be and how they can tear your skin off. She even knows how cold it can get during the nighttime, how the temperature goes to freezing. Jakku is full of dead and broken things. Once she was one of those things too. But that was supposed to be in Rey’s past. Now she was more than Rey from Jakku, she was part of the Resistance, friend of Finn, Poe, Rose and many others, owner of the famed Millennium Falcon and perhaps the most impressive of her titles, the last jedi left in the whole galaxy. That was the legacy and legend of the late Luke Skywalker had left for her slender shoulders to carry.

Right now Rey was none of that. She had returned to her roots. Force couldn’t or didn’t want to give her the answers that she craved. She remembered the mysterious cave that she wandered into on Ahch-To. Only answer she ever got came from Kylo Ren.

Despite the heat, memory of him made Rey shudder. She shouldn’t have gone to that cave and she shouldn’t have gone to Kylo after that. She shouldn’t even be here. Let the past die, kill it if you have to, Kylo Ren had bleated when he had begged her to join him. Rey knew she had been dangerously close to the dark side then. She had felt it. Only memory of her friends, how the First Order fleet had been shooting them to oblivion had kept Rey in the light.

She owned everything that she had to her friends. Even this trip. Rey was wasting precious Resistance resources but general Organa, Leia, had granted her wish with sadness in her eyes. Somehow Leia understood her pain. Leia had always known she was adopted but only later in her life she found out who her biological parents were. She had loved her parents, the ones who raised her, dearly but she understood the feeling that Rey had felt her whole life. Leia knew that Rey just had to make sure, had to know.

So when Rey landed on Jakku she was alone. Not even Chewie had accompanied her. Resistance was growing slowly but they were still too few in numbers. Rey was only here for a quick visit. R2 was inside the Falcon. He had refused to leave her side after Luke came one with the force. Rey wasn’t complaining though. The droid was old but still hasn’t lost his spunk. But even R2 was forced to stay on Falcon while Rey went to explore her own home planet. This was something private. Something that she had to do alone.

She had landed the Falcon faraway from civilization. She wasn’t keen on the scavengers or someone else exploring it. First things first, Rey had to see her old home. It didn’t take long to reach it the old AT-AT was still lying in the sand. It seemed smaller than she remembered. Rey hadn’t physically grown in couple years but maybe exploring different planets in space had made her somehow bigger than the lonely child that she used to be.

Almost all of her belongings had been taken while she was gone. This didn’t surprise her. What did surprise her was that the Spinebarrel that she found years ago was still there, still alive. That plant had been her only hope for so long. Her breathing line when the simple belief to her parents returning wasn’t enough. Life would find a way. Life would always find a way.

Memories of her fallen friends filled Rey’s mind but she blinked hard. Breathe, that was what Luke told her to do. Just breathe, Rey told herself reaching to the force to calm her mind. The old mantra of the jedi came to her mind. There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force. Rey opened her eyes. There is no death, there is the Force.

Rey got up. There may not be death but she was not ready to let go of the small plant that had saved her once. Carefully she tucked it from the grown and stored it inside her bag. She would take it with her away from this empty place.

Then Rey moved on. She visited the Niiman outpost but apparently she was so changed that no-one recognized her. Rey had abandoned her old three-buns-hairstyle. She had worn it since her early childhood because she feared that her family would not know who she was without it. Childish fears but so real to her. She had found a new family who remembered, who cared with or without wearing the same hairstyle every day.

Rey’s hair was down, only front of it tied back so it couldn’t come in the way. She was wearing darker attire than she used to. Wearing dark colors in the desert meant death but now she didn’t have to worry about such matters anymore.

Opening up to Kylo had brought one good thing. Her memories had started to clear. She did not still remember her parents, she was too young when they died. She didn’t remember what they lookrd like or what it felt like to be hugged by them or what did they sound like but Rey did remember where they were buried. Too nameless graves that she refused to visit, that she buried under all those false imagines that her brain came up with, refusing to believe the truth. Kylo had been right. She always knew who her parents were. She just didn’t want to admit it.

Rey sat there, hood covering her face but no-one was looking for her, staring at her parents graves. She felt completely and utterly alone.

Rey knew what happened even before it started. All the sound around her disappeared until she could hear only one thing, Kylo Ren’s breathing.

“Rey.” His voice was faint and if it wasn’t the only thing that Rey could hear she wouldn’t have heard it at all.

“Go away.” Rey said calmly. The bond always connected them when they felt alone. It was mockery, a poor excuse of a joke.

“Where are you?” He asked. Rey knew he could only see her. He had said so himself and Rey couldn’t see his surroundings either.

“Go away.” Rey said again still keeping her eyes on the graves. She didn’t want to see him right now. She refused to see him actually.

“You came to see them, your parents.” He said. It wasn’t a question.

“No.” Rey lied.

“I won’t come for you.” Kylo said. Rey ignored the sadness in his voice. She didn’t want his sadness. She didn’t want to acknowledge that he was capable of such emotion.

“Why?” Rey turned her head sharply. She kept her gaze burning, hoping to scare Kylo away. Somewhere deep in her mind she knew his pain, his suffering. It was too similar to her own.

“You know why.” Kylo’s eyes lacked her hate but were just as full of emotion. She missed the mask. He was too expressive, his face hiding nothing. The bond only made him easier to read.

Rey wanted to turn her gaze away but she couldn’t. He looked the same as the last time when she saw him. She had tried to ignore him and their bond, not looking at him and only to speak to tell him to leave. This was the first time since Crait when Rey shut Falcon’s door to his face that she has looked directly at him.

His hair was still dark, his pale skin still covered by moles, his nose little too big and his lips full and somehow Rey just knew that when he smiled he looked just like Han.

The longer Rey looked at Kylo the more similarities to his parents she found. His eyes were Leia’s, Rey decided. Brown, deep and capable of such emotion and determination that it terrified Rey.

“If you are not going to tell me…” Rey started getting to her feet. It was just like him to rob her private moment with her parents.

“Join me.” Kylo interrupted.

Rey only sighed. “You know I won’t do that. Only way that we will stand side by side is if you turn and you know it. I am the last jedi.”

“I swore to kill the jedi and the Resistance.” Anger has found him again. He always refused to face his real issues trying to cover them with a legacy that was broken to begin with.

“Then kill me. You know my location. Just push a button, yell an order, whatever you do nowadays. Aren’t you the emperor? Or is it Hux perhaps? Is he controlling you like Snoke once did?” Rey was just so tired. She just wanted this to end.

For a moment Kylo looked like he might actually try to hurt her through their bond but then he seemed to calm down. “You are no jedi. You have no training. Luke didn’t teach you anything. He let you down just like all the parental figures in your life.”

“You are the one to talk about failed parental figures. Wasn’t your daddy issues that drove you to Snoke to begin with?” Rey spited back. They both always seemed to fight dirty when faced with one another.

“But he trained me never the less. I am stronger than you are, I know how to do more than just float some rocks.” Kylo hit something. Rey guessed it was a wall where ever he was.

“We are done.” Rey hesitated for a moment. “Ben.” She finally added. She turned away from him, from the leftovers of those who she once called her parents and ran away. Normal human couldn’t have ran as fast as she did all the way to Falcon but somehow the force helped her. She felt empty when she arrived to the ship but at least the bond had gone back to sleeping.

“Everything is alright, R2.” Rey said to the worrying droid. “I’m alright.”

But she wasn’t. She really wasn’t. Yes, she had seen her parents’ graves proving what she already knew. But the bond that Rey and Kylo shared had manifested again and wasn’t completely disappeared even now. Kylo was gone but she could still sense his presence and Rey suspected he sensed her too. His dark figure had appeared in her dreams and they weren’t always nightmares. Rey knew she had to do something about it. She wouldn’t turn and neither would Kylo it seemed. Their connection would only drive them mad.

Rey took the somewhat suffered plant out of her bag and put it in a small pot. She watered it and took care of it until Rey felt satisfied that it was not going to die.

“He has one thing right.” Rey said abstractedly. “I haven’t finished my training.”

Rey moved to cockpit and settled down starting to make required preparations for leaving the planet. R2 followed her making confused noises that Rey translated to basic.

“I need to go back to Ahch-To.” She told to the droid. “I need to finish or even start my training.” The old jedi texts that she had stolen from Luke were still waiting for her in one of the storage lockers. Rey had tried to study them but she has never been one to read a lot. It wasn’t simply required in her old scavenger life. She didn’t know what exactly she was looking for in Ahch-To but she just knew she had to go back there.

“I’ll send the Resistance a message. If you want I can drop you off there.” Rey offered to R2 whose answer was a very colorful: I’m staying with you. It made Rey smile.

“This is Rey.” She said when she found the frequency that Resistance used. “I’m heading back to master Luke’s old hiding place. I will be back but I don’t know for how long. I still have the beacon in case I need to find you or other way around. Over and out.”

Rey wondered who would receive her message first. Finn had moved to lead ground forces and train new requites, Rose was probably helping him and Rey knew that Leia was coaching Poe to be a leader. She was sure that her message would reach them all sooner or later.

Rey checked that she had enough fuel before taking off and leaving Jakku behind. Somehow she knew this was her last time visiting this place. She didn’t feel sorrow or regret. With a new found clarity in her mind she jumped to hyperspace with only one goal in mind.

Ahch-To seemed empty and full of life at the same time. Porgs were still there filling the air with their weird noises. Lanai’s seemed to remember Rey since they immediately appeared to be annoyed by her. Rey could sense that through the force even though her efforts were clumsy. She left Falcon and R2 again and climbed all the way up to the old jedi village where Luke used to live. Rey found most of his day to day belongings there. They made her feel sad but she continued forward until she reached the cave with the pool where Luke gave her his first lesson.

She stopped before walking to the ledge where Luke ordered her to first reach out. Luke’s old robe was still there. Rey had no idea how it had managed to stay in place and not flown away by the wind but she was thankful for it. Carefully she folded it and placed it neatly to her bag. Then she sat down into a meditation position and closed her eyes.

Breathe, she reminded herself before reaching out, letting the force guide her. This time she didn’t go to the dark cave. It had nothing to offer. Rey knew better now. Darkness was already inside her. Instead she listened the nature of the island. Life, death, happiness and pain. Rey took it all in. Then she opened her eyes and nearly fell off the damn stone.

Luke Skywalker was standing in front of her. It took a minute for her to calm down enough to speak but when Rey did her voice sounded unsure. “Master Skywalker?” Maybe the bond had messed with her mind more than Rey realized.

Luke smiled at her. “I am sorry I failed you.”

Now that Rey had time to calm herself she noticed and odd blue hue coming from Luke. She reached out her hand like she did when Luke snapped at her hand with a plant but instead of touching Luke’s torso her hand went straight through him. “You are not here.”

“I am one with the force. Thanks to you I was finally able to find peace.” Luke scooted to sit next to her and even though his form isn’t physical Rey automatically gave him more room.

“But… but you died. I felt it. And Leia felt it too.” Rey said confused.

“There is so much I didn’t teach to you.” Luke only replied.

“And you didn’t fail me.” Rey added weakly.

“Yes I did. I am sorry, Rey. I am so sorry. I hope I’m able to help you now.” Luke said.

“You will finally teach me?” Rey couldn’t stop the smile appearing to her face even if she tried.

“More than that. We will teach you.” Before Rey had time to think about that, Luke continues. “You are the last jedi, Rey. I’m sorry I left that burden to you.”

“It’s not your fault. You were the last jedi once, too.” Rey said looking at her hands.

“And look what it did to me. Some destinies are too hard to carry. My only hope is to give you enough teachings so you don’t end up like me.”

Rey looked at her teacher noticing how much younger he seemed. He was wearing the jedi master robes but his hair and beard were trimmed and there was a twinkle in his eye that Rey didn’t see in him while Luke was alive. Perhaps the young farm boy from Tatooine was still there after all.

“How can you teach me when you are like this?” Rey gestured not really sure what exactly Luke was.

She earned a chuckle out of him. “I admit our circumstances aren’t ideal but they never are. My first mentor sacrificed himself soon after he started teaching me.”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Rey said quietly. She knew the legends like a back of her hand.

“Ben was named after him.” Luke’s smile was melancholy. “Sometimes I wonder if it was our first mistake.”

Rey said nothing. She came from nowhere, her parents were no-one, kriff, she was no-one but Ben Solo wasn’t He was the son of the princess Leia and famed smuggler Han Solo. His uncle was perhaps the most powerful jedi who ever lived, Luke Skywalker. He was the grandson of the former queen and later senator of Naboo, Padme Amidala and Anakin Skywalker who was also known as Darth Vader, a sith lord whose name still strikes fear to people everywhere. Not only that but he was named after Obi-Wan Kenobi, hero of the clone wars. Rey can’t even imagine what is like to grow under those names.

“I can still sense him.” Rey suddenly blurted.

“I know.” Luke said.

“Snoke told that he connected us but he is dead. I saw how Kyl… Ben killed him instead of killing me. I’m so sorry of what I did, master Skywalker.” Rey started sobbing. “I thought I saw light in him. I thought I could turn him. Instead I only sealed his fate. I should have never gone there. I should have…” Rey’s voice trailed away as she cried to her hands.

“You were right, Rey. There is still light in him. You were right to go. Do you know how I escaped my master once to help Han and Leia?” Luke asked.

Rey couldn’t speak so she only nodded.

“Master Yoda warned me that I was not ready and I would fall. I lost my hand that day.” Luke lifted his arm to examine it better. It was still metal without human tissue. “I never regretted my actions.”

“But I…” Rey really didn’t know how to continue.

“There is still light in Ben. Just like there was in Anakin. I am not sure if my nephew can be redeemed like my father. Only he can make that choice for himself.” Luke said calmly. “The fact that you too are still connected gives me hope.” There was a hint of a smile on his face.

“How?” Rey asked.

“Snoke didn’t connect you two. But that you already knew, didn’t you?”

“He said he did.” Rey swallowed.

“He only wanted to control Ben. But even he could see through Snoke’s lie. Snoke was very powerful in ways of the force yes, and he may have strengthened your bond but he didn’t create it.” Luke explained. “If he did it was the greatest mistake of his life.”

“What is it… this bond? I only read it could be formed between masters and apprentices and…” Rey stopped herself. “But the books never described it to be this strong. I was able to touch him, master Skywalker. I can see him and he can see me. I can feel him and sometimes I feel what he feels too. I see him in my sleep and I sense him all the time.” Rey buried her head to her hands.

“Your bond is unique. Force bonds weren’t that rare. I had one with my father, even one with Leia. Yes, as you said most commonly the bond formed between a master and an apprentice but siblings or relatives or even lovers were possible too. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.” Luke smiled to his own words. “Force connects us all but what is between you and Ben is something unique. It may be his saving, it may be your downfall, it may be both. We don’t know. Once again I am sorry for this path you must take.”

Rey sat silent for a while looking at the setting sun. “I once asked to show me my place in all of this. I think I know it now.”

“Good. But first, you must learn. We will start tomorrow.” Luke disappeared leaving Rey to look to the horizon. When she finally returned to the Falcon, not seeing the point to live in one of the huts, she fell asleep immediately when her head hit the pillow. And she dreamed, oh how she dreamed.

[edge-of-bizarre]

"Surprise" for the fic title thing!!!! fishthorn pls

send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it

Arranged Marriage Au

A long stretch was followed by a groan before he settled. His hand reached out blindly, searching for his wife. He startled himself and withdrew his hand.

Had he really referred to her as his wife? Yes they were married, but under very dire circumstances. It had been months since they had been joined together, and it was scary how calmly he had thought about it.

“My… wife…” He said quietly to himself. He had never called her that, nor had she called him her husband, he didn’t think she even thought of him that way. He was her husband, and she was his wife… it almost felt like reality was setting in. Everything had grown calm, the awkwardness was gone, and now they lived comfortably together. Sharing a home, a bed, a life… it seemed to have gotten easier. He shuddered as he thought of her calling him her husband, not knowing how he felt about it.

Fishlegs squinted, his arm reaching out again, searching for her. Did she think of him like that? If she did, it made his heart quicken. Maybe she did think of him that way, maybe she even liked him… He realized he would very much like it if she referred to himself as hers. A way for him to really know that she was happy to be with him, to be proud to be with him. He was realizing how happy he was to be with her, even if it started out pretty rocky. She was a good friend, aren’t married people supposed to be friends? maybe he was lucky.

His vision cleared as his hand was met with more cold spots. Empty. The bed was empty, she was gone, and she must have been gone for some time. He had a moment of panic, for this is how their first day of being married happened, after the dreaded wedding night. He had assumed she had run away, and he had even been ok with it. He was contemplating how much of a head start he should give her only for her to come back through the door. Her hair had been piled into a tight braided bun, the married woman hairstyle mothers and wives always had. He noticed she always took her hair out once she came home from work, and he liked that.

He sat up in bed as he heard the front door close. After the months of living together, Fishlegs could tell by the footfalls it was her. The bedroom door opened, and she peeked her head in, looking ashen.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, pushing the covers off.

“I’m not sure” She replied, now standing in the doorway. Fishlegs had never seen that look on her face, it was impossible to tell what she was feeling. She looked almost scared. Scared of him? Scared of something? Had something happened?

“What’s wrong?” He was in front of her in an instant, putting his hand to her cheek and then to her forehead. “Are you sick still?”

She had been getting ill in the mornings, and sleeping much more. It seemed like he never saw her, she would be sleeping when he got up in the morning for work, and would be asleep by the time he got back.

“I went to Gothi” Rosethorn said quietly. She looked as if she saw a ghost, as if he was the spectre she was afraid of. He would have pulled away from her, put her hand held his close to her heart in front of her.

“What did she say?” Fishlegs realized she was pulling him through the door and towards the kitchen.

“I need to talk to you.” Her voice was weak as she motioned to the chair. He quickly fell into it before grabbing her hands in desperation.

“Please tell me what’s wrong- Are you ill?” He was no longer asking if she had a cold, he was asking if she would reveal to him the amount of time she had left.

“I am not dying, if that’s what you’re asking.” She said quietly, a faint smile appearing on her lips as she placed a hand on his head. He pulled her close to him. The level of intimicy had increased as time wore on. In the beginning he couldn’t stand to stay in the same room as her, now he pulled at her waist for comfort, like a child hugging a teddy bear.

“I went to Gothi, I’m not sick.”

He looked up from her stomach where his head had been buried, her comforting hands rubbing his shoulders.

“What’s wrong then?”

“I went because i was late.” She explained slowly and he could feel her hand shaking on his shoulder.

“Late? What do you mean- oh…” He had very quickly learned much more than he knew about bleeding while living with her.

“This whole thing…” she motioned around the room. “Has been blur, I didn’t realize I had missed bleeding twice, and I went to Gothi”

She carefully studied his face. Maybe she wasn’t being as obvious as she thought, or maybe his brain refused to put it together.

“I’m pregnant.”

The words rang in his ears. He almost asked how, but he knew how. The wedding night was the only time they had been together, and the time matched up. He let go of her, and she backed away as he gripped the table. His eyes moved back and forth, trying to put the pieces together, of what happened, how it could of happened, but most importantly, what they would do next.

“Just from… just from that?” His voice quivered. Fishlegs knew of couples who prayed to the gods to conceive, who wanted nothing more than that. It was not a night he was proud of, in fact, they hadn’t been able to look at each other after… But it was law, and neither wanted to face the consequences of their marriage being invalid because they did not follow the rules.

She nodded weakly, her hands trembling. Rosethorn was waiting for his reaction. They had been growing closer, this seemed like the breaking point. Barely married, and already expecting. This isn’t what she wanted. She had actually been hoping to enjoy marriage, to have her time with him. They both were trying to make it work, and it was working! but this…

He looked to the source of the wail, to see tears streaming down his wife’s face.

He for once was at a loss for words. Instead of trying to talk his way out, he simply opened his arms, tears starting to form in his eyes. How could she blame herself? why was she sorry?

She hesitantly walked to him, and he hugged her tightly, enveloping her entirely.

“Why are you crying?” His voice cracked slightly. It pained him to see her cry. He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks and she leaned into his hand.

“I don’t know… just a lot going on.” She hiccuped.

“Yeah… are you… upset?” He asked, sitting her in his lap, so he could hug her tightly but let her breath.

“I don’t know… are you?” She heard him clear his throat, as if he was buying himself time to think.

“I don’t think so…”

“You can be honest, don’t lie to me.” She said suddenly, turning to look at his face.

“I- I don’t know… I’m scared but… logically if it didn’t happen now, we would have to try later, children are the point of marriage, or at least one outcome”

“How can you talk like that?” Rosethorn looked at him with an intensity he thought she was looking at his soul.

“Parents would have asked for grandchildren, people would talk ‘how come they are empty nesters?’ ‘how come mrs. Ingerman hasn’t had any kids?’ ‘are you trying?’“ Fishlegs said, mimicking the well known voices of the village.

“I just wish we had more time” She mumbled.

“Did you want kids?” He asked suddenly. Thats a topic they had steered away from. He had thought about it before they were married, what he would do if that had been a problem.

“Yes… Eventually- well i’m not sure”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t know how this would work out… i did want kids, but i wasn’t sure if you did… but if you wanted them, i wouldn’t have been opposed.” She said thoughtfully, fiddling with her fingers. “How about you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Ideally, it wouldn’t have been now… but in the future. Now that I think about it… Why think of the future? We’re having one now.” He said, almost to himself as he stared off into space. She furrowed her brow as she looked at him until he almost jumped.

“We’re- you’re- we’re going to have a baby… oh my gods” The ordeal seemed to be behind him, and he was now clutching his chest, thinking about the future. She stood up, trying to give him space.

“I’m going to be a dad-” He breathed. Before she could make sure he was alright, he was pulling at her again.

“You’re going to be a mom, thank you.” He hugged her around the waist, and pulled away, now focusing on her stomach.

“Thank you?” She asked, watching him trying to figure out what to do before giving him the go ahead to touch her stomach.

“That’s our baby in there- oh Thor! We’re going to have a baby-” He had always wanted kids. Fishlegs wanted something to love, and all the negativity had seemed to melt away into this blissful scenario. His wife, was having his baby, and he loved the both of them.

“Take it easy.” Rosethorn laughed, now it was her turn to wipe away his tears.

“We’re going to be a family, you’ll be a mom, I’ll be the dad-” he wept, his hand firmly on her stomach. She returned to rubbing his shoulders, feeling much better now. He looked up at her, feeling her smile on him before her hands went to his cheeks and she pressed a kiss onto his lips.

The first kiss since the wedding night. They had kissed each other on the cheek, but this was different.

He kissed her back fiercely and her arms wrapped around his neck. Instead of awkward, it was loving, it was pure and sweet, not awkward, and forced. Still clumsy as they were, the kiss was a culmination of their frustration, their fears, their joy, their relief.

Fishlegs pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and feeling peaceful. It seemed like everything was falling into place.