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felixisislost · 2 years

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Boyfriend to Death 2: Fresh Blood Fanfic [Authors Note: I'm not the owner of the Boyfriend to Death series, I just really like the games and lately Ren has kind of been a comfort character, especially since life is kind of really bad and shitty right now. If you know the games, then you will know all the warnings. This is just a self insert fic I'm writing for myself to help get through a tough time and to try distract myself from real life issues. So, please, no judgement in this, ok. Just how I'd react in this (fictional) situation. I do not condone kidnapping, murder and so on, this is just a work of fiction. Also, I kind of feel like Ren would have a voice similar to Len Kagemine (for reference to what I mean, like his voice in 【鏡音レン君feat.女子】＋♂【オリジナル】but like the lower part of the 'PIPIPI' if that makes sense) ]

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/~Chapter One~*/*/*/*/*/*/*/ Going to a bar was not my usual way to spend my Friday nights, but what else did I really have going for me, and bars were good places to meet people, right? * I'd spent my whole walk home debating what to do. I needed to get out of the house, and the Wi-Fi was supposed to go down later on tonight, something about something or other, or so says my landlord. That left me with little entertainment, and I really wasn't in the mood to do any more writing. So, I figured, "Why not hang out in a bar, make some friends?!" I mean, what better way to meet people than when they're shitfaced and (hopefully) a bit more sociable. What's the worst that could happen? My body was slumped and my feet were dragging. A pathetic sob slipped past parted lips and a rather visible pout hung on my face, like how you hung a painting on a wall. My stupid job had me swamped, today's trainwreck of a day hadn't gone over too well. Too many Karen's visiting, I groaned, rubbing my aching body, fumbling with my keys. Work was tiring, life was stressful and I was too out of myself to even attempt to continue my book. I mean, heck, I tripped just trying to get through my apartment door. I was exhausted and just wanted to wind down and have a good time before I had to go back on Monday and do it all over again. Kicking the door open, then shut, I threw my keys on the nearest piece of furniture, and flopped down on my little, uncomfortable sofa. "Home sweet home" I groaned into the pillow I had shoved my face in. It was rather lonely and empty in the little, yet sufficient apartment's. I had considered looking for a roommate, but it was hard to tell how to go about it. If I wrote in the news paper about it, who knows what kind of creep could turn up, and that cost an unnecessary amount of money to do. I would have gotten a dog, but the rules strictly were not pets. The way that my landlord liked to pop in unannounced at random made it impossible to find any roundabouts or cut throughs. "Stupid bitch has something agaisnt me, or s'mth'n" Peering up, I shook myself out half heartedly, streatching until I felt my bones crackle and pop. Something shiny on the little round coffee table caught my eye as I tried to think cheeryer thoughts. Ever since I moved here, I'd kind of lost contact with my old friends, and it's not like I had any family. Then there was my job, my workmates were a little too serious to hang out with, and the neighbours were always arguing and glaring at the whole world. So, I was pretty much alone... .... Ok, so I was more like 60% alone. 90%. Entirely. A month, I've been here a whole damn month and I have no friends, I sobbed, pulling my body across the couch, arms dangling over the side while I moped. Flicking a hand forward, I snatched up my phone from the coffee table. Turning it on, I made a mental note to remember to not leave it there next time. I always forgot it when I put it there, and today was no exception. Because of that little mistake I went without food today, and it just so happened to be a very busy work day, figures with my luck. The only physical money I had was a few fifties I stored in my phone case, and my stomach was howling. I wasn't a breakfast person, so I hadn't eaten at all today, and my stomach was screaming at me to hurry up and heed it's calling. Scrolling through my phone, I tried to look for somewhere relaxing to go, but not too relaxed. It wasn't really my usual style to go out to bars, I actually prefered to stay home and relax, but today felt different. I'd never actually been to one before. Aaaaand as much as I hated to admit it, I was lonely, I wanted real people company. Even if I didn't meet anyone, it wouldn't hurt to get a little drunk, I mean, it's not like I had work tommorrow. Pulling up a list of 'local watering holes' I weighed up my options. "Cafe Royale, sounds too high class for me, Route 66 sound kind of cool, but more like I'd get beat up or robbed based on reviews..." I huffed a sigh, and kept scrolling. "Oh god, Jazz bar's defiantly ain't my vibe..." Even the name, Snapdragon Jazz lounge, sounded wayyy out of my league. After a little debate, I scrolled back up to the top 3, eyeing The Jackalope. "Open 4 pm - 2 am, it's got good enough reviews, and I don't care too much if the food is greasy, at this point i'll take anything" I sat up, feeling better and better about this place. Peeling off my work clothes, I rushed to take a nice shower, and threw on my favourite clothes. A black button up with wavey white marble like stripes running up the fabric and a pair of black ripped jeans. Sure, it wasn't fancy-fancy, but it looked good and was comfortable. Snatching up my phone, I pulled up directions, adding an excited bounce in my step. Practically jumping down the stairs with a newfound energy. I'd miss every few steps, only just managing to (somehow) not go crashing down the slightly uneven vertical plain. It sucked, but the shitty elevator was broken. Again. Meaning four flights of stairs and multiple bruises for me every day, as well as a 12 minute walk to work since I couldn't drive. Well, that's one way to get my steps in. Literally, I laughed to myself, hurrying out the door. I didn't like living so high up, I had a slight distaste (or the fancy way of saying fear) for heights. After a couple wrong turns and shady passbyers, I winally made my way up to the bar. It was rather empty inside, but the interior was appealing and cozy. Making a beeline for the bar, I swiftly ordered a Strawberry Vodka and a bit of the cheapest food they had that would actually taste nice. All the bartender could really suggest were fries and a burger (Though he did grimace and whisper a warning about the mess). No matter how hungry I was, I ate neatly and slow. I always was a neat eater, even more so in public. Most of the patrons finished up rather quickly, and the bar was mostly deserted. The mixture of warm, dim lights and soft music playing in the background lulled me into an airy state, and I could feel my head tipping along with the fuzzy warmth the alchohol gave me. After several hours, I opened my eyes, blinking away the sleep. My face almost stuck to the bar as I pulled myself upward, mouth warm. "Oh god, did I fall asleep?" I mumbled to myself, gazing about whilst I streatched. The bar was practically empty, except one lone guy, sitting idily at a far away table by himself. I couldn't even see the bar tender. Flipping my phone upward, I was dissapointed by the red flash indicating 'Dead battery'. Glancing back at the seemingly gentle blonde, I wandered over, "Umm, excuse me?" The young man seemed rather distracted, and a bit jumpy as he turned his gaze up from the table towards me, "Err, y-yes?" "Sorry to disturb you, but umm, do you have the time by anychance?" I held up my dead phone up sheepishly. He hesitated with his response, glancing at the table, then at another corner of the room. "Uhh, yeah, the bar's closing in 15 minuets" "Oh, geez, thank you" I laughed nurvously. This guy seems kinda' unsettled, I thought, wondering if I should back off. Maybe he isn't a people person? "Are you ok? I asked him, changing my stance so that he knew I could leave with a word if he wanted me to. The last thing i'd want to do is make anyone uncomfortable. "Oh, umm... yeah... i'm just waiting for-- a friend" He said in a rather broken, nurvous sentence, avoiding eye contact. Nodding, I wondered again if I should leave him alone, when his friend appeared. He was only about 2 inches shorter than me, and he seemed rather spritely, sporting a cheerful grin. The red-head was actually rather cute, I couldn't help but blush. On each of his cheeks lay a curious crimson triangle, only adding to his appeal and mystery. But it wasn't just that, it was his smile, it was infectious. "Hey Law--" He cut himself off, gazing at me, a sharp flash of panic lasting not even a second appeared in his face. As quick as it had come, it was gone so soon, I wondered if I had imagined it. "Oh, who's your friend?" Trying not to seem akward, or stare too much, I mustered a friendly smile, "U-umm, sorry to bother you, I was just asking the time, I can leave--" The small man grinned, "No, no, it's alright, my name is Ren, it's nice to meet you!" I had to physically stop myself from sighing in relief, I was interested in a conversation with the attractive young man. "I'm Eliza lee, it's lovely to meet you as well" I smiled, holding out my hand, to which the ginger shook it with a firm, yet gentle handshake. His hands were soft. When he let go, he stared up at his tall friend, Lawerence, and the pair said nothing for awhile. Tilting my head to oneside, I wondered if I was coming into the middle of something, "You all right, Ren? I can leave if i'm disturbing you--" Shaking his head, Ren cntinued to keep his lips in an their inviting, friendly curve, "No, no! It's quite alright, everything's great! Let me get us a round before the bar closes" I didn't have a chance to respond, because before I could even open my mouth, he was already trotting over to the bar, humming to himself cheerfully. Throwing me a quick glance, Lawerence quickly skuttered off, shadowing his friend. Cocking my head to one side, I sat down and watched them. Or, well, more Ren. I noticed he had a few scars, they actualy looked rather cool. Wandering into my mind, I missed the fact that it kind of looked lke they were arguing. When they returned, all trace of their past conflict was gone, and I was oblivious to what was going on. Setting the drinks down, Lawerence attempted a more confident smile. Offering a smile back at him, I gazed down at my dappled reflection in the (what I assumed to be) rum. Tracing a finger idily around the rim of the glass, Ren held his drink up. "Cheers" Echoing him, something felt... odd. The longer I stared into my drink, the more my gut wrenched, instincts screeching at me. Now, I wasn't someone who assumed the worst in others, no, I liked to believe each person was good in their own way and I hated making negative assumptions. But something was wrong. Really, really wrong. Was it perhaps the incredibly faint sweet smell I could detect in the drink infront of me. It was incredibly faint, almost unnocitable, but with alcohol, I was a bit of an expert, and I took care in noticing when something was wrong when I was going to ingest something. Nonchalantly, I reached over, claiming Lawerence's drink as my own, carefully sliding my own over to him in a sort of trade all while the pair stared at me, flabbergasted. Rum and coke, I noted, setting the now empty glass down, flashing an awkward half smile- blush mess. Oh god, why did I do that?!-- However, I noticed that Lawrence didn't touch the drink that formerly was mine. Ren stode up, looking rather antsy as fidget about. It's getting late, and the bar's closing up now," Ren ffered. "I'm... going to leave now" Lawerence looked panicked, staring at his friend as if he'd grown two heads. "You're leaving?!" He gasped in disbelief. Shrugging, Ren avoided eyecontact, making a hasty retreat through the door after throwing a soft "S-sorry" our way. Dashing after him, Lawerence, at a hulking 6'2 was surprisingly fast, dissapearing outside without a trace. Frowning, I internally cursed, wishing I had asked the curious short man for his number. "Damn, so much for making friends..." I let out a breathy sigh, placing a rather generous tip on our table before leaving the bar. The fresh, crisp cold air hit me like a brick wall, flooding my sences. It was cold and stung my nose, but I liked it that way. I loved the cold air of the night, it was so refreshing and made you allert and awake. Nearby, the road was surprisingly busy for the time of the morning that it was. Jumping, I felt a sort, sharp tap on my shoulder, yelping in surprise. "Jeez, Lawerence, you coulda' given me a heartattack" I teased, despite clutching my pounding heart. Lawerence struggled for words as he stared rather darkly at me, unblinking. "...Ren's path.... split from mine" Glancing at him confused, I said nothing, hoping he would elaborate. Or was he just drunk? "Well, he probably just went home" I tried to reassure the mysterious giant, still kind of lost in this conversation. I was tensing up, feeling something was severly wrong. Lawerence was actng funny, and the thought of the drinks made me feel even worse. Maybe i'm just imagining-- Eyes widening, I was dropping into a duck before I could even register what was happeing. My body had moved purely on instinct, and I managed to avoid most of the blow that lined up with my head. I wasn't quick enough to avoid it entirely, and the sharp thwack that reverberated off of my skull made my ears rings while I stumbled backwards. "Shit--" Cursing through clenched teeth, I spun on my heel, trying not to wobble from the booze, dashing into the nearbye allyway, panting hard. Skidding to a halt, my body slammed into the brick wall, sliding down onto the dirty floor, clutching my throbbing head. It'd been a hot minute since my head had taken a blow. Head spinning, I spotted a fluffy tail across from me, it looked like a foxes tail. "Am I dieing?" I wondered. Foxes were my favourite animal, and I doubt any foxes would live out here. Crawling forward, vision woozy from the skull bashing and the alchohol, I reached forward. Turning around, the tails owner crouched down abruptly, pulling me up. "Eliza?!" The voice belonged to Ren, "Come with me, i'll get you somewhere safe" Legs becoming jelly, I leant on Ren for support. And I continued to until I passed out.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/~Chapter Two~*/*/*/*/*/*/*/ Letting out a groan, I forced open my eyes, feeling about the soft chair I was resting in. My head was pounding, and it felt worse trying to remember what had happened. Shifting about, I straightened up momentarily, only to flop forward, clutching my head. Eyes shooting open, I swung my head left and right in panic. Where am I-- "Oh, you're awake!" Ren appeared infront of me, incredibly quiet to the point I couldn't stop myself jumping. "Do you feel better?" "Besides a bit of aching, i'm good. Thank you for rescuing me... Your friend... he wasn't stable..." I admitted, wondering why he had attacked me. I mean, I hadn't acted provoking at all. He already was acting strange when I first went up to him. "... So, now that you're awake, I bet you're feeling hungry. Why don't I make you something to eat, hmm?" Ren purred, gazing down at me. I felt strangely small under his watchful eyes. As if on que, my stomach rumbled, only adding to Ren's amusement. "That's very genrous of you, are you sure it's no trouble?" I asked, not wanting to be an incovenience. While I stared up at him, I wondered about the ears and tail. Is he cosplaying? Or a Furry? I wondered. "It's no trouble!" Ren was pleased by my answer, tail swishing ever so slightly in aproval. "I have these really nice--" Chuckling, Ren nurvously rubbed the back of his neck, "Haha, sorry, i'm rambeling, just gimmie' a sec, okay! Sit tight~" Ren padded off to the kitchen rather merrily. I watched after him, a small smile decorating my lips. That was, until I shifted in my seat. Klink. Rattle. Klink. Eyes widening, my head shot down. Thick steel links connected my ankle to the nearby wall. I was fully awake and aware now, fear and panic lighting up my face. Reaching a hand up to my throat, I was met with the cold outskirts of more metal. A collar, or rather some form of shakle lay rest on my neck. I began to tense up, feeling about the peculiar device, trying to work out what it was. "Oh my god--" I whispered, panic setting in. Turning towards the doorframe in which Ren had dissapeared, I knew i'd have limited time to think. The soft sounds of tinkering and sizzling of a skillet could be heard. I froze, unable to to move or make a sound as my throat closed up. What in gods name do I do-- Calm down, 'Lizzie, relax, you gotta' calm down, I tried to slow my thumping heart, closing my eyes and rubbing my temple. Sucking in what was supposed to be a deep, calming breath, I rolled my head in attempt to loosen up (If that was possible). After several minuets, Ren returned with an admittedly delicious smelling plate of food. Now that I took a nice long look in his eyes, I noticed that they had a rather animalistic quallity to their ginger-brown hues. In certian lighting, it almost looked like the rims glowed gold. (Not really canon, just my headcanon) Handing me the plate, I dipped my head in a short gesture of appreciation, "Thank you very much, it looks really good" "Looks don't mean much," His next words came off as devious and playful, a clear hidden meaning behind them, enough to shoot blood right to my face. "What matters... is how it tastes~" The way predatory look on his face and the way he licked his lips sent an involentary shiver down my spine. It effected me more than it should have, that was evident by the blush on my face and the sudden urge I had to swallow the saliva in my mouth. I couldn't think of a response other than to lightly chew my lip, and play with my tongue peircing. Who was I to look a gift horse (or fox) in the mouth? The food looked wonderful, and I had to admit, since he was rather attractive, I calmed down rather easily. I guess it was too homey in here for the true danger to settle fully in my mind, especially when the attractive stranger (who had in a way had sort of kidnapped me) was treating me so well, feeding and checking up on me. "Give me a second~❤" Hurrying off, Ren swiftly returned as fast as he had left, nimbly handing me a fork me. "Thank you very much, Ren" My answer seemed to please the fox-man very much much, to which he smiled so wide, you could see his sharp canines, "How poilte! I really hit the jackpot, didn't I?" Ren hummed to himself, maybe to help with the nerves as he anxiously awaited the verdict after I took a bite. "Well....?" Ren asked, ears flattening slightly shifting about. My eyes widened, and I didn't try to hide my surprise. You could practically see the sparkles in my eyes. "It's delicious!" Ren seemed to calm down at my words, ears and fur returning to their natural state. Before I knew it, the plate was empty and Ren's eyes had never left my figure. "Thank you very much, it was wonderful" I smiled up at my captor, trying to push all fear out of my mind. The main goal in my mind was to keep calm and not to do anything irritional. Besides that, I valued manners and prided myself on my own, no matter who I was talking to. Manners were very important to me. Ren seemed to appreciate them as well, because he beamed, almost shocked by how calm and cooperative I was being taking the plate and fork from me. Watching him walk away with a rather bouncy step, I leant backwards, nestling myself into the comfey chair. I was surprised by his cooking, it was better than I had expected. Not that I had know what to expect. The heavy reminder on my leg, though, signalled me not to get too comfey. I was still chained up and had a strange collar device on my neck. I didn't know what it was for, or what it did, and I could gaurentee it wouldn't be good. Waiting patiently for my host's return, I rocked back and forth to keep my nerves in check. "If it's ok for me to ask," I started slow when Ren made his reappearance, not wanting to upset the man. Despite not being the most pressing concern at hand, I was curious. "but umm, your ears and tail..." Uncertian on how to continue, I looked down at my hands, idily playing with my fingers. "It's probably weird, but they're real. I'm a sort of beat-kin" Ren explained, trying not to seem too bothered. "We're mostly like humans, I mean, I can hide my ears and tail if I want to. But..." His expression softened, and something about his whole demeanor shifted, like he was far off, in a distant memory. It was hard to tell if it was a good one, or bad. "Someone once told me, 'You shouldn't hide who you are' " The way he said it made my heart swell. It clearly made Ren both reminiscent, and if I was right, sad. Even if he took me against my will, I was a rather empathetic person. Sometimes, I hated that. "If it's any consolation," I half whispered. "I like your ears and tail, they look nice" Mumbling lightly under my breath, the softness of my words and tone made Ren's ears involentarily twitch, "And foxes are my favorite animal" What was I doing?! I had to remind myself of the situation I was in. Ren made no remark on my comment, but his smile brightened. He was soo cheery, it was hard to believe I was kidnapped by such a sweetheart. Why do these things always happen to me? I wondered. It's not that i'd ever been kidnapped before, but I tended to have rather bad luck at times. I didn't really believe in bad luck, but the more it happened to me, the more I wondered what I did in my past lives to deserve this. Eyes shifting about, Ren sighed, wiping his hands on his shirt. He was incredibly quiet, probably due to his fox side? I mean foxes were silent, nimble, crafty creatures who had to stalk their prey, not to mention they were incredibly intelligent, and playful. "Maybe it's best we get you settled in." His gaze softened, maybe my behavior had given me the upperhand. Ren seemed rather relaxed, and to be fair, I had no plans to provoke him. "Give you time to adjust." I didn't question what he meant by that, I could only figure I was going to be his house guest for an unknown period of time. Tracing a finger along the metal collar, I cast him a look. "Oh... that. It's a hand me down.... for my new friend" He explained, gazing at the ground. "O-oh... umm, thank you?" It sounded a little like a question, rather than an awnser, but never the less, Ren turned back to me. First a small smile lay on his face, then he paused, chewing his lip. "Although..." He trailed off thoughtfully. "Although?" I tilted my head to one side quizzically. "It's been a long time, I wonder if it still works..." Pulling a small tear shaped remote out of his pocket, his thumb circled the red button in the center. Before any words could escape my mouth, a sharp shooting pain captured my whole body. It was like being punched over your entire body, shocking you to your very core. The sensation felt horrible, illicting a yelp from my parted lips, my body curling into a ball on instinct, heart pounding from a mixture of shock and pain. "Well, looks like it still works, huh" Shrinking down, the pressing issue of what was really going on hit me like a bus. I had a high chance of being shocked to death at any moment if he so desired. Trying to slow my breathing, I clutched my shirt, the fabric crinkling in my grasp. Ren didn't seem too bothered by this, if anything, he had a fair look of excitement. Bending down, he reached for my ankle. "W-what--" Click! Shifting my foot about, I was now free of the restraint. Leaning forward, I peered closer at Ren's face, trying to work out what he was thinking. What was his angle? Looking up at me, still crouching, he tapped the remote symbollically, "Don't forget the collar" Nodding, I let out a quick, "I'll behave" hoping that would satisfy him. Tail swishing, he waited for me to stand. I made no attempt to run or fight him, I just followed, i'd rather not have my brains fryed, thank you. Taking my arm gently, he led me down a short hallway. "There's no need to be worried, it's ok... it'll just take some time to get used to!" Ren tried to be reassuring as he guided me to 'my room'. I just tried to pretend I was here willingly. Swinging the door open, the room was rather nice. It reminded me a hotel room in those nice, non crappy hotels. The pillows, sheets and interior all matched in dark themes and it was appealing to the eye. Not over done, and not under either. "I know it's boring, but I didn't know what you liked," That sentence made me uneasy. How long had he been planning a kidnap, or had he just phrased it different than what he had meant to. "Once I get to know you better, we can spruce it up!" He... seems almost innocent... that's kinda' odd considering. "It's actually rather nice" I admitted, running my hand along the duvet. The material was soft, plushy. I let out a soft 'ooo' at the feeling, it gave me the urge to curl up under the covers and take a nap. Chuckling lightly, "I'm glad you like it! Just hollar if you need anything, get some rest." "I will, thank you, Ren" Slipping out the frame, he shut the door quietly. Again, to my surprise, I heard no lock. The door was unlocked, so in theory, I could roam the house freely if I wished. But... if that was the case, then Ren must have been rather confident in the shock collar. "..." Sitting down, I thought about it. What had he meant by hand me down? Why would he have worn this, if it had been his, then and again, maybe he hd used it on someone else? I had no clue. Ren, this house, everything was a puzzle, and i couldn't find any sence in it. I liked being able to read people, it was usually easy, but right now, I had now clue, I wasn't sure on anything, and that was deflating. The only shock collars I'd heard of were ones used for dogs, to keep them within a set perimeter, and the kind used in rather... intimate situations. It wasn't unheard of, using electricity to kill, or to shock into submission. All my insticts told me to bide my time, to play nice with my new 'friend'. Peering out the thick glass, I realized there was no way to even open them. We were in some rich looking suburban neighbourhood, all I felt was lost. Confused. Alone. All this thinking, the confusion and warm meal made me feel sleepy. A long yawn escaped my jaws, and a lay down turned into an unplanned nap. The bed was so soft, I sunk into it with ease. I didn't fight the enevitible slumber, I needed to have my wits about me.

*/*/*/*/*/*/*/~Chapter Three~*/*/*/*/*/*/*/ Nuzzling deeper into the the sheet and pillows, I cuddled the soft, feathery plush for comfort. Did I really have to get up? I could easily stay here forever, fade off into my dreams and forget real life. But, that would require me dieing... and I didn't want to die. I was scared to die. Shifting about, stretching felt better than it should have. Everything felt like a luxury in the predicament I was in. Ren was kind yesterday, but how long would that last? I didn't know how Ren worked, how he operated. If he decided he didn't like my attitude, or he didn't want to play nice, then my life literally was in his hands. Reaching over to the beside table, I put my glasses on, running a hand through my hair, giving it a shake. Redoing the top couple of buttons that must have come undone while in bed, I wobbled a bit. It felt like walking for the first time, but after a good shake and a little pace about, I edged towards the door. Turning the handle nice and slow I peeked my head out. The house was silent. "Ren?" I called gently, yet I received no response. Hesitating, I took a few more steps out of the room and tried again. "Ren??" Is this a test? I wondered. Is Ren pretending not to be here to trick me, to see what I'll do? Debating my options, I walked over to the bathroom. Washing my face and body as carefully as I could, trying my best to avoid the collar since I had no clue if it was water proof or not, I inspected my face in the mirror. The woman looking back at me looked more hopeful than I felt. Her green eyes had no shine but looked strangely less tired than usual, yet the blue outer rings held their usual inquisitive exhaustion. Messy, wavey shoulder length brown hair framed her pale skin, and old faint cut lines ran along her left arm and hand. Thick black square glasses slid down her nose, and whispered reassurances through their stare. "Ok, Eliza lee, let's just keep it together" Turning away from the mirror, I headed back to the room, not wanting to push my already limited luck.

(To be continued?)

#boyfriend to death #ren hana

5 notes · View notes

jamies-rambles · 5 months

Text

The Butler's Secret

Binero/RyanColdson, Bineryan Divinity, Domito, Jeremy, angst, hurt no comfort, drama, substance abuse

2300 words

Author’s note: this one is a bit darker than my previous tales. Check the tags and read at your own risk. As always, if you are one of the people in the story, please do not feel offended. This is a work of fiction. Have fun :p

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(Ryan POV)

The sun rising over Coastle woke Ryan from his sleep, his master still snoozing beside him. I had been a few weeks since he started working for him. He was grateful for the job, of course, and he cared for him, but that didn't mean it was easy. He was weak and frail while his master was an all powerful deity, nearly immortal. He did his job to the best of his abilities, but something inside him said it might never be enough. Whether this was true or just needless worry he didn't know.

Ryan got up to get dressed and prepare breakfast for himself and his master. He had mostly moved in to the Bluebin apartment, although his still owned his house on the Eastern island as well. He knew he should tear it down or sell it, but something in him couldn't let go of the security of having a plan B. He didn't want to be homeless again. The sound of Binero getting up in the other room snapped him out of his thoughts, and he returned to his duties.

He had a business plan, of course, he wasn't naive enough to think his butlering alone would make him rich. He had been laying the foundations of his plan to sell drinks to the citizens of Coastle by handing out free samples. Once they were all addicted to his drugs, he could ask good money for them. It might not be entirely ethical, he thought to himself, but it was a solid plan. He had a rich man dream after all.

Binero had joined him, they said good morning to another and enjoyed the breakfast Ryan had prepared. They chatted a bit about nothing, if they had slept well and what they were planning to do today. Binero had some Bluebin business to attend to and didn't need his butler for that, which would give Ryan some free time. He would spend it cleaning out his old home and move his things. "I'll be back later when you need me, master," he said before getting up to leave. "I'll see you later," replied Binero, and then added: "I love you." Ryan hastily put on his hat and closed the door behind him.

(Binero POV)

"He didn't say it back," Binero mumbled to himself. Maybe he hadn't heard him? No, he must have, he said it loud and clear. The first weeks of their partnership had been like a dream, he felt as though the illusion of perfection had been broken in an instant and doubt filled his heart. Now that he thought of it, Ryan had seemed more distant the past few days. Was there something going on he didn't know about? He couldn't stand the thought of Ryan keeping big secrets from him, but it was very possible. How well did they really know each other? Things had moved so fast, he hadn't really stopped to think, and now that he had started, he couldn't help but feel worried that he would end up being alone again. Just like he had been, before... Well, maybe he was just overthinking it. Maybe all would be fine. He had work to do anyway, he couldn't spend his day worrying about what was probably nothing.

(Ryan POV)

"Honey, I'm home!" Ryan was greeted by a hug and a gentle kiss. Domito didn’t actually live with him, but he visited a lot. He was pretty much a permanent visitor and tended to watch the house while Ryan was away. "I've missed you. How is the new job?" Ryan ended the embrace and walked over to the kitchen. "Shall I make us some drinks?" he asked. "Always the servant," Domito chuckled. "Take a break, let me get the drinks. And you're avoiding the question." The piglins looked at him judgingly, as if they agreed. Ryan hesitated. He had never intended to be unfaithful to his fiancé, but life happened. He had promised Binero he would do just about anything for him, he didn't want to say no to his master. And he did care for him, of course. He cared for them both very much. Maybe it was his people pleasing nature that had gotten him into this complicated situation. Regardless, he didn't want to burden Domito with the knowledge and thought it best to act as if nothing had changed. "The job is good," he said. "Binero is a nice man." Domito seemed pleased with this answer and nodded. "He asked me to move in with him," Ryan added carefully. "It will be easier to do my job when I live on Coastle. No more boating back and forth every other day"

Domito was quiet for a moment. The homely sound of flowing lava and grunting piglins hung between them. "I've told you before," he said, "that I want to live where ever you are. If you're moving, I’ll come with you. We should find a house on Coastle together." It was a good offer, of course, one he would gladly have accepted under different circumstances. But Binero couldn't know about his engaged status. Domito moving to Coastle was asking for problems, and he couldn't risk it. He had a good thing going here. "You do not need to move there for me," he said. "I know you do not like crowded places, and you would rather live out here where there is more space. You should take this house" It wasn't a lie. Just bending the truth a little. He could see Domito wanted to say something, but stopped himself. He had that frown he always had when he was trying to find the right words to say. "You know I trust you," he started. "And I"m not usually the jealous type, but I would like to meet this new boss of yours. Just to see who it is my man is spending so much time with. Make sure he doesn't steal you from me." The last part was said as a joke, but it was just serious enough that Ryan knew he had to be careful. "He is not that special," he lied. "Well, I would like to meet this perfectly ordinary man anyway," said Domito. Ryan sighed. He knew his fiancé could be stubborn, and he wasn't getting out of this one. "Fine. Come with me to Coastle later today, I shall introduce you."

(Binero POV)

It was the late afternoon. Rockets had been sold and restocked, and Binero sat at his desk, quite satisfied with himself. His worries had subsided somewhat throughout the day. Ryan would be home again soon. Maybe they could watch another film, or listen to music, share some quality time. A knock on the door made him jump up from his seat, and he opened the door expecting to see Ryan. Instead, there was a tall man with long blonde hair. "Jeremy, what brings you here?" Binero sighed, more than a little disappointed. "Is that any way to greet an old friend?" Jeremy grinned widely and let himself in. "Haven't seen you in a while Binerosius. Heard you hired a butler? Where are you hiding him?" Jeremy started opening barrels, jokingly looking through them as if searching for the hidden butler. “I told you I don’t go by that name anymore,” said Binero, getting annoyed now. Jeremy stopped his searching, knowing he had already won. “You’re too easy to annoy,” he chuckled. “But really, how is your servant? Handsome?” Binero blushed. “No need to get jealous now, Jeremy.” “I’m not! I know we ended a long time ago, and it was better for both of us. I’m happy you’ve found someone.” He walked over to the bedroom, clearly planning to embarrass Binero even more. “You’re sleeping in the same bed already?” he teased. Binero ignored him and got himself a drink, refusing to feed Jeremy’s provocations any more.

There was another knock on the door. Before Binero could get to it, Jeremy flew past him. In the doorway stood Ryan, finally, and some other guy Binero didn’t remember meeting before. “Well, you must be the new butler!” said Jeremy, shaking Ryan’s hand. “I must say, you really look the part. Even got the little monocle! I can see why you’ve captured Bin’s little heart.” Ryan’s cheeks got noticably red. “Oh, thank you gentleman! And who are you, might I ask?” Jereme seemed offended at the question. “Has he really not mentioned me? I’m Jeremy, the king of the land!” Binero decided to interrupt before Jeremy scared away his butler and guest with his egotism. “Why don’t you come in first and then we’ll talk? Jeremy, shouldn’t you be going? You had other things to do correct?” “No, I just came to see you, I have nothing else to do today,” answered Jeremy, not taking the hint. With a sigh, Binero accepted that this afternoon would not be going as he had planned.

(Ryan POV)

Ryan thought he was going to lose his mind. This Jeremy guy seemed to know about the nature of his relationship with Binero, and he would ruin everything. He should burn down the house. No, of course not that, but something like that. Making sure he didn’t forget his butler duties, he made sure to get drinks and snacks for everyone. Jeremy kept yapping about past adventures he and Binero had been on. Ryan wanted to drink another cup of poison, but resisted the urge. He had to stay sober. “Oh and Bin’s dad, he was a true asshole,” said Jeremy, clearly preparing for another long rant. “I had a bad father,” Ryan interrupted. “He was also my uncle.” The room went quiet. A single ‘What?” from Binero fell into the awkward silence. “Is normal where I’m from,” he added, as if that explained anything. Domito cleared his throat. “Anyway, it’s nice to meet you Binero. I’ve heard a lot about you.” “Only good things I hope?” Binero joked. “Actually, he hasn’t said that much,” Domito admitted. “Has he invited you to the wedding?”

Ryan dropped the glass he was holding. All eyes were on him now. “The wedding?” Jeremy repeated. “How interesting! Tell me, who’s getting married?” Ryan looked at Binero, the look of betrayal in his eyes said enough. “I, uh… well” – “You’re engaged?” Binero asked. Ryan wondered if he could just die right now, respawn by the beach and hope on a boat, row far away from here, an ocean to escape into, how nice that would be… “Ryan, answer me!” Binero’s divine voice echoed. Ryan shivered at the sound, feeling it in his bones. Binero only used that voice when he wanted to show off, or was actually angry. “Yes, master,” he muttered. “I am sorry I did not tell you. I – “ “Get out of my house,” Binero spoke, his voice filled with the pain of betrayal. “Master – Binero, you must know I did not mean to hurt you, and I care for you, I really – “ “No. I don’t need your sorry excuses. I thought you loved me, and you were a good chap, but it was all fake. Just leave.” Ryan held back his tears, knowing there was nothing he could to to fix this. “I - I should probably go too,” stuttered Domito. Jeremy had not said anything for a while. He sat in the window sill with a bowl of cookies, munching on them as though it was popcorn. “Domito, I can explain,” Ryan started, but Domito shook his head. “I think I understand just fine,” he said. “We’re done.” He walked out the door, ignoring Ryan’s pleas. The crunching of another cookie between Jeremy’s teeth was the only thing that broke the deafening silence that followed. “I think it’s best for me to leave, gentleman,” said Ryan, trying to keep a straight face, before he hurried out the door.

(Binero POV)

Jeremy sighed, patting Binero on the back. “That’s rough buddy.” Binero ignored him. Staring out of the window, his eyes filling with tears, he realized he was alone once again. Jeremy, being terrible at handling people’s emotions, made his exit. “Sorry about the boyfriend,” he said before closing the door behind him. Binero looked around his apartment, the emptiness weighing on him like an anvil. He had gotten so used to Ryan constantly being around, keeping him company, and the loneliness was crushing. How could he have let himself get so hurt by someone? He was an almighty god, he should be above these silly human emotions, and yet all he felt was the sharp pain of betrayal. His eyes hurt from the tears which blurred his surroundings. He stumbled towards his chair, trying to find something to hold on to. He felt utterly alone, adrift in a sea of heartache with no shore in sight.

(Ryan POV)

Blaze rods, he needed those. And nether warts. He needed strength. Domito had not said another word to him, and he probably would never forgive him. Ryan knew he had made a mistake, and he suffered the consequences. He wanted everything and ended up having nothing. Now, where did he put those bottles? He fired up the brewing stations hidden beneath the trapdoors. He looked at Phil, who screamed at him in return. As I deserve, he thought to himself. Phil meant well, really, being a teenager was just rough. He grew impatient waiting for the drinks to be done. He needed to escape from his thoughts, the guilt and loneliness was to heavy to bear. He wanted to feel nothing. In that dimly lit room, amidst the brewing potions and the weight of his mistakes, Ryan knew he was spiraling further into the abyss of his addiction. He let the emptiness consume him.

#Old #Fic

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jadequeen88 · 2 years

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The Last in Line: Chapter 1 - "Heaven and Hell"

SUMMARY:

"Eddie is a force of nature, wholly taken by the music, threatening to sweep up everyone else in his path. She can only imagine how well he commands a crowd. How they would want to be near him, to touch and consume, to try and swallow down some of the magic he creates with his fingers, his voice, his entire body. Because maybe if they could swallow bits of it, they could keep a little of his talent for themselves."

This is an AU with no Upside Down that takes place in 1987. The Reader moves back home to Hawkins after a rough time living in LA rubbing elbows with rockstars. She buys Benny’s and remodels it to make it into bar. Band auditions take place and a charismatic, pretty metal head along with his band shows up. The rest is history.❤️

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

When I say this is a true labor of love, I am not exaggerating one bit. A life-long obsession with any and all 70s and 80s metal, Tolkien, and D&D is being woven into every paragraph of this fic. It’s exceptionally rare for me to find a fictional character that combines all these things wrapped up in a package of witty banter, charm, and dreamy doe eyes. I knew I loved Eddie before embarking on writing this fic, but my intense love for our “Reader” surprised me. I aim to be vague on specific things like eye color, hair color, and skin color, but there are some things set in stone. She is 30 years old (Eddie is 22), she’s a recovering addict, and she was one of the notorious groupies of the 70s who rubbed elbows with some of the biggest names in rock.

TWs (for future chapters):

Porn with Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Resolved Sexual Tension, Oral Fixation, Smut, Eventual Smut, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Dom/sub Undertones, Bisexual Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, accurate D&D references, Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson Acting as Dustin Henderson's Parental Figures, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson Has ADHD, Dry Humping, Premature Ejaculation, Eddie Munson talks too much during sex, panty theft, Shotgunning, Praise Kink, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Eddie Munson wants to be a good boy

“Sing me a song, you’re a singer. Do me a wrong, You’re a bringer of evil. The Devil is never a maker. The less that you give, you’re a taker.”

-Black Sabbath,"Heaven and Hell"

Reader's POV

Sweat stings her eyes as it trickles down her brow, the soaked handkerchief doing little to stop it at this point. But she can’t call it a night yet. Not when she is so close to being done. An exasperated sigh leaves her lips as she starts the tedious task of placing chairs around all the small tables she just sat out carefully. Not too many close to the stage, but enough to seat hungry and thirsty patrons between sets of live music.

The stage is an area of great pride for her. She built it with her own two hands, after all. (Okay, to be fair, maybe her dad did help just a tad.) Her therapist’s voice echoes in the back of her mind as she admires the fruits of her labor.

“A vital part of successful recovery is to keep busy. A new hobby, perhaps. Or a project. Put all the energy you used to spend on substances into something worthwhile that adds value to your life.”

She can’t think of anything more worthwhile than building up her own business in a town that desperately needed what she could offer. After leaving the rehab clinic in L.A., coming back to Indiana seemed like an utter failure. All the big, scary things her loved ones warned her about had happened to her. And there were even more horrible things she’d have never imagined, not until she’d lived them. But she’s still standing, still breathing. That has to count for something, right?

“Best to not go down that path tonight.” She shakes those thoughts out of her head before they grow big enough to consume her yet again.

No, tonight isn’t about peeking past the dark curtains of her mind into the past. Tonight is a night to feel proud of herself for once.

After locking up that night, she went to visit her parents and was greeted with cake and non-alcoholic sparkling juice. Her mom insisted that since her baby was sober, the whole family would be. Even though she insisted to her mom that it wasn’t necessary, it still made her heart clench that she was making an effort to create a healthy environment for her.

Driving home with a cake-coma depletes the last of her energy reserves and she collapses fully clothed onto her bed, not even bothering to pull back the comforter. She regrets it instantly when she wakes as the morning sunlight blares into her open blinds.

Now she sits at her kitchen island, black coffee in one hand and an ink pen in the other, with the soft sounds of her record player providing comforting background noise. The backbreaking labor might be over with (mostly), but she is far from being able to rest easy. She still needs employees, and writing up an ad for the local paper is proving more difficult than she imagined it would be initially.

Another sip of coffee breathing life into her weary body, she puts her pen back to paper and continues writing.

“Generals gathered in their masses Just like witches at black masses Evil minds that plot destruction Sorcerer of death’s construction”

She sings along with Ozzy’s voice seeping quietly from her sound system as her pen scratches along the lined pages. With one last re-read, making sure there were no major spelling errors, she’s satisfied enough to move on to the next matter of business. One she was more excited about: making flyers to hang around town for auditions.

She pulls her sketchbook towards her along with her favorite calligraphy pens and gets to work. After about thirty minutes, she has a flier she is happy enough with to take to the copy shop downtown.

WANTED: LIVE MUSIC Auditions this Wednesday 6PM @ Benny’s Looking to hire performers for steady gigs Must be 21 or older

The last track of “Paranoid” ends, signaling for her to get ready and get the ad and fliers taken care of. Opting for comfort over style (which she did most days), she throws on her favorite Judas Priest tee, jeans, Vans, and heads out.

Before she gets too overwhelmed by overthinking, she walks through the doorway and out into the trailer park, determined to make this work. It had to work, after using rock bottom as her foundation. She breathes in the warm morning air until her lungs ache. With a quick exhale, she sets out to tackle the day head-on.

Fliers were hung, ads were featured in the paper, and everything was set in place by Wednesday afternoon. After finding enough odd jobs around the place to keep her busy mind occupied, it was 5:45 before she knew it. So she grabbed her pen and paper, took a seat right in front of center stage, and waited.

As expected, there were quite a few solo acts. Most were painful to sit through, but there were a few promising options. One girl with red curls flowing down her back and a big sweet smile won the bar owner over with an acoustic performance of John Denver’s “The Music is You”. The second was a couple, the boyfriend playing guitar and singing backing vocals to his girlfriend. Her soulful vocals went perfectly with “A Change is Gonna Come” and her partner was an excellent musician as well. She knew both acts would draw in a crowd.

Finding two talented acts in middle-of-nowhere Indiana was definitely something to celebrate, but she couldn’t help feeling a little let down that she didn’t get any heavier-hitting bands. She wasn’t fool enough to expect the next Led Zeppelin to be dropped on her doorstep, but she was hoping to see at least one rock band. Even if it was just a group of friends who had formed their own little garage band.

She’s just about to lock up and call it a night when she hears the crunch of gravel under tires. Peeking out the front door, it was as if the Rock Gods hand answered her prayers. It looks like an actual band has shown up to play for her. She waits by the window to see how many people would exit the white van. Mildly surprised, she notes that these guys look like they’d be more at home in a science lab than performing at a bar. However, she was the last person to judge musicians on looks alone. Then the driver’s side door opens. That’s when it all clicks into place.

With a mane of dark hair crowning his head and a flurry of ringed hands, it was apparent who the mastermind behind this operation was. They began to unload and she watches in amusement as their leader responds to one of his bandmates with a crude gesture and wide, manic grin. This night might turn out more amusing than she’d hoped for.

Before they make their way inside, she slips back into her chair at the front of the stage. One heeled foot wiggles in the air excitedly as she crosses her legs, tapping her pen on her notebook. The double doors burst open and three younger-looking guys walk in behind “Mr. Lead Man,” looking less confident than their fearless commander. With one arm carrying a guitar case and the other outstretched, he greets her with a silly little half bow.

She raises a single eyebrow and can't hide the amused grin that crosses her face. This is the first time she notices his eyes. There is no other way to describe them besides… pretty. They’re round, deep brown eyes that carry the softest expression framed at the top by rows of lashes any woman would envy. She almost loses herself in them and misses what he’s saying.

“Good Lady! Terribly sorry we have arrived so late. Our campaign ran a bit longer tonight, as one does when the treasure the party stumbles upon happens to belong to one particularly nasty Beholder,” he leers like the devil himself at the friends gathered around him as they groan.

“Umm,” she looks around puzzled wondering what on earth he could be referencing. She decides it might be better to not know. “Of course. Totally. Hate when that happens.”

He simply grins, biting down on his lower lip. It’s apparent she’s full of shit and has no idea what he’s talking about. Before Mr. Dreamy Eyes could distract her further, she redirects them back to the reason they’re here.

“Okay boys,” she clicks her pen open, readying herself to jot down some notes. “Group name?”

“Corroded Coffin,” the brown-eyed boy says proudly, puffing out his chest. She resists the urge to chuckle at his preening.

She looks up through the fringe of her hair and smirks at him. “I like it. Very metal. Can I get your guys’ names?”

Unsurprisingly, the same guy introduces everyone by their first name and what they play, saving himself for last.

“And I’m Eddie Munson. Lead guitar and vocals.”

She hums lightly, not breaking eye contact, “No shit? You’re the frontman? Never would have guessed it.”

Eddie chuckles and that gorgeous grin overtakes his face. “You haven’t seen anything yet, madam.”

Oh… well then. This kid can hold his own with her. She likes that. She might be in danger of liking it too much. But enough of that…

“Okay, hot shot. Get up there and show me why Corroded Coffin should have a spot in my lineup.”

He leaps onto the stage, guitar still in hand, and whips around to face the empty bar. “As you wish!” he exclaims, his rings glinting in the low stage lights as he flourishes a hand in the air.

After that, there’s a bit of commotion setting everything up and getting instruments hooked up. One quick sound check to make sure they were in tune and the sound system was cooperating, they began.

Eddie looks to his drummer and then to his other two bandmates. A few taps of his feet and they begin. Four chords into the song and she instantly knows what they’re playing.

She sits up straighter, waiting on the edge of her seat to see if Eddie “pretty-boy” Munson had the chops to pull off what he was about to do.

“Sing me a song, you’re a singer. Do me a wrong, You’re a bringer of evil. The Devil is never a maker. The less that you give, you’re a taker.”

Any semblance of a poker face she is trying to keep on melts away and her jaw drops. This wiry, eccentric kid from the backwoods of Indiana is singing a Black Sabbath song damn near as well as Ronnie James Dio himself. He’s less polished with a touch more grit to his voice, but honestly? He makes it work.

She’s entranced. If this guy can nail the guitar solo like he does the vocals, she’s going to lose her mind…

And of course, he actually does. His fingers fly along the neck of his B.C. Rich Warlock, not missing a single note. He completely loses himself in the music, throwing his head back, and exposing the smooth, ivory column of his throat. He commands the tempo of the song through his fingers, gradually building into the crescendo of the song. When he begins to sing again, he’s frenzied and passionate but doesn’t once sacrifice his glorious, gravelly tone.

“They say that life's a carousel Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well The world is full of kings and queens Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams It's Heaven and Hell, oh well”

Eddie is a force of nature, wholly taken by the music, threatening to sweep up everyone else in his path. She can only imagine how well he commands a crowd. How they would want to be near him, to touch and consume, to try and swallow down some of the magic he creates with his fingers, his voice, his entire body. Because maybe if they could swallow bits of it, they could keep a little of his talent for themselves.

“And they'll tell you black is really white The moon is just the sun at night And when you walk in golden halls You get to keep the gold that falls It's Heaven and Hell, oh no”

She’s sitting on the edge of her chair now, notebook forgotten. Her world is narrowed down to him. To Eddie Munson. Eddie with the big, kind eyes and the voice of a demon. And when the song ends, it takes her much longer to come back into her body than she’d ever expected to. Utter silence falls before she can speak.

Before the silence gets too awkward, she shakes some sense into herself, clears her throat, and smiles.

“Consider me thoroughly impressed,” she says, her grin stuck in place. “When do you guys wanna start?”

Eddie puts on a show of spinning around, making eye contact with all of his bandmates, and then back at her, mirroring her excited expression.

“So, this means we get to play here? Like, every week?” A finger absently twirls a strand of hair near his face while the opposite arm supports his elbow across his chest.

“Yes, like, every week.” An amused huff leaves her mouth. “Now, which night works better for you? Friday nights or Saturday?”

Eddie’s brown eyes shine with mischief and he pulls his plush bottom lip in between his pretty, white teeth. He leaps down from the stage to stand right in front of her. With absolutely no shame whatsoever, he rakes his gaze up from the tips of her black heel-clad feet to her arched brow. If his gaze lingers momentarily on the tiny sliver of her exposed cleavage, neither of them was going to acknowledge that fact.

“Whenever the good lady needs us here, we’ll be here.” It’s probably the softest he’s spoken since entering her bar.

She meets his gaze and tells him her name. He repeats it back and the way his mouth rolls over the vowels and consonants of it sends a ghost of a shiver up her spine.

“I’m thinking Friday night,” she says looking back down at her notes. The way her stomach is clenching while Eddie holds her gaze is making her feel things she wasn’t about to let a 20-something-year-old kid stir up in her. “I could advertise some drink specials to draw in locals and you guys can get the word out to all your regulars to come here on the nights you play. Sound like a plan?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

She looks back up to see his gaze hasn’t wavered a bit. Now the strand of hair he had been toying with was brought to his face, almost like he was trying to cover a shy grin. But those hungry eyes give away the fact that he’s no blushing maiden. He drops his hair and holds out the same hand towards her to shake on their deal.

Eddie’s hands aren’t huge, but they’re solid and warm. The rings and calluses that adorn them feel comforting and familiar to her. She doesn’t want to let go but does out of fear of prolonging physical contact longer than he’s comfortable with. He takes a step back and it almost feels like he’s reluctant to do so.

“Well,” she sighs as she stands and straightens her skirt. “I’ll be here pretty much all day Friday since it’s the grand opening. I have to make sure the kitchen and bar are stocked and that the line cooks have everything they need. So feel free to drop in anytime before six to set up whatever you need.”

“Sure thing, Ms. Y/N.” It almost hurts for her to look directly at his face, especially when he says her name like he was reciting a sonnet. “Pleasure doing business with ya.”

With a silly little salute and a lopsided grin, he turns to the stage rallying his troops to pack everything up and load the van. As they work, she busies herself at the bar double-checking her supply list. She still hasn’t had any luck finding a bartender, so she will be soloing it for a bit. It isn’t something she hasn’t already done before, so she isn’t terribly nervous. However, it would be remiss of her not to acknowledge the fact that since this is her business, there’s added pressure.

She’s so engrossed in her thoughts, that when a voice calls out her name from the doors, she jumps slightly. Before she can turn around fully, there Eddie is, bounding over to the bar like an over-eager chocolate lab. It’s impossible to not smile softly at him.

“Yeah?” she asks, putting aside her list and stepping closer to the counter. He reaches out and grabs one of her hands in both of his. Time stops as she watches him bow his head towards the hand he holds, shaggy brown curls hiding his face. He ghosts his lips along the back of her hand, the touch so gentle that it almost tickles.

“Thank you,” he’s looking at her now and she realizes she has stopped breathing. “Thanks for hiring us on. I promise you won’t regret it.” Then he’s gone just as quickly as he had appeared, flinging the doors wide open into the night air. Whatever song he starts wailing loudly into the parking lot is cut off abruptly as the doors slam shut behind him.

She allows herself a deep exhale that ends in a laugh. Hawkins, Indiana doesn’t know what a gift they’ve been given with Eddie Munson. Growing up here herself, she knows that all the sad, small, dull people that make up the majority of the population never will. Many probably even outwardly scorn him for containing more life than they could ever dream of having for themselves.

And those happen to be her favorite kind of people.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #jade writes smut #jade's last in line

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erwinsvow · 4 years

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𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐚𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬

a/n: hey everyone! hope you enjoy these college headcanons! part two can be found here! warning for nsfw in jean's, and mentions of alcohol/partying throughout!

jean kirstein

jean shows up to college thinking it’s gonna be high school part two, and quickly gets put in his place

his old antics (for both school and girls) won’t fly anymore, so he tries his hardest at both

i personally see jean as not the smartest, most gifted kid (in college!) but definitely one of the hardest workers

this man comes in pre-law and changes to sports management real quick

he definitely plays some kind of club sport, lacrosse or basketball or maybe even both and he is way too into it

like club lacrosse is his life.

he 100% has eyes for cheerleaders, because he loves idea of someone rooting for him, and if you are one, then it’s instantaneous

he notices you at one of his games, giving a shove to conny and asking if he knew who you were

which is met with “what do i look like, a phone book?”

he builds up the courage to ask you out eventually, to which of course you agree, and it’s pretty much a happy ending after that

makes for a lot of sweaty, post-match sex, with him still in his jersey and you in your uniform hiked up

reiner braun

frat bro reiner is a business major with a focus on finance

reiner is the guy who dedicates 100% of his time to school during the weekdays, and the weekends are for the bros

he’s the first in the library, last to leave lecture because he stayed behind to get clarifications, and pretty much aces everything

halloweekend, he decides to drag annie and bertholdt to a party, because they are in desperate need of letting loose

probably dressed up as something mildly douche-y that didn’t require a lot of thought: a foot ball player jersey with eye black improvised by annie

he is a heavy-weight if you’ve ever seen one, probably on his fifth cup of cheap beer and not even slightly buzzed

annie and bertholdt are sloshed, so he keeps one eye on them to make sure they’re alright

you, on the other hand, are serving as designated-driver for the night and sipping on soda

i think any kind of sweet, innocent costume (angel, fairy, woodland creature) would get his attention immediately

he goes over to you to try to make conversation, and finds himself stumbling over his words even though he just swore he wasn’t tipsy yet

but you find it cute, and given how you have seen him before around campus, studying all the damn time, you’re pleasantly surprised to find a sweet, interesting guy making conversation with you at a halloween party

eventually, your friends take off with their hook-ups, and reiner is left behind alone too after making sure everyone had a safe ride home

with no one left besides you two and his passed out friends, you offer him and his roommates a ride back to his dorm

after dropping annie off, you arrive at the dorm and help lug a blacked-out bertholdt to their room

you say goodnight and as you leave, feeling bold, you leave your number on the whiteboard hanging on their door

so that then turns into coffee-and-studying dates, and eventually a relationship before too long

armin arlert

i think we all know what armin is like in college: marine biology major and history minor

this is an effortless genius, so unlike reiner, he doesn’t have to spend all his time studying

i think armin would be the kind of guy who has school and life figured out, and he slowly realizes a healthy relationship is the one thing missing from his life

there’s honestly plenty of people who want to date him, if he had ever cared to return any of their gazes

i honestly see him being oblivious, so when a fellow classmate asks if he wants to study together, he goes “oh, sorry, i wasn’t really planning on studying, but maybe eren wants a study-buddy, i’ll let him know for you!” instead of realizing that was someone flirting

so it’s the same for you

you’re taking the marine sci class as a last resort, everything else was completely filled up, and you just had to get out of that physics class

but all this talk about oceans and sea-creatures is even worse, somehow. to put it short, you’re struggling, and armin is the kid who raises his hand at every question without so much as jotting down a note during lecture

you know mikasa through a friend-of-a-friend type situation, and ask her if armin would be willing to tutor you sometime

doesn’t matter that part of the reason you’re doing so poorly is because you’re staring at the back of his head most of class

armin and you get together to study on a saturday evening, and what began as a recap on the history of the ocean quickly turns into laughing, talking, and then “you wanna go grab something to eat?”

for someone so smart, he’s really dense

he thinks you’re being friendly and doesn’t want to assume you’re thinking this is a ‘date’ even though you’re internally screaming

it takes you leaning in for a kiss after he’s walked you back to your dorm for it to click

needless to say, he wasn’t quite so oblivious after that

eren yeager

eren was determined to get into the same college as armin and mikasa

my man is undecided, and then sociology after he’s forced to pick

not exactly a fuckboy, not exactly a stoner, just somewhere in between

procrastinates doing work and submits every thing a day late, even though he probably would have gotten full marks if it was on time

him and mikasa decide to take a marine bio class with armin, and he ends up falling asleep during lecture

i don’t see him going for a goody-two shoes type that wants to reform him, because he just wouldn’t want to deal with that

it’s not a toxic relationship, but pretty close to one

on again, off again ever since the two of you met in a dingy frat basement, absolutely hammered, and hooked up

this boy does not want to admit that he’s caught feelings, but eventually it comes to that because he is very much the jealous type

catches you engaging in polite conversation with reiner and he is seeing white in seconds

he realizes he has to make you his

marco bott

the most wholesome nursing major with a minor in english because he is a sucker for lit

i don’t think there is any shortage of girls who want to be with marco, just given how sweet and genuine he is

that being said, i feel like the few time he’s wanted to pursue a relationship with someone, they haven’t reciprocated/just saw him as a friend

which isn’t the easiest thing to deal with, but because he’s a mature angel, he doesn’t hold that against anyone

instead, he kind of succumbs to this false idea that people want to be his friend, and not his girlfriend, which he’s a little insecure about

that’s why i think you and marco would have idiot best friends to lovers, featuring everyone around you knowing how head over heels you both are except the two of you

you two meet in a particularly challenging class, and not recognizing anyone, you both turn to the friendliest face in the room to make study-buddies with

over a whole semester of late-night cramming (and talking), scribbling smiley faces on flashcards, and good luck texts before the exam, you realize how much you’re gonna miss constantly hanging out with marco

and on his end, he’s complaining to jean about how after the final, you two won’t have any reason to keep talking

“so ask her out then, you idiot”

“she probably doesn’t think of me like that…”

“are you blind?” jean says, with a roll of his eyes

after the class has ended and you’re both headed back home for winter break, you work up the nerve to text marco one last time

“let me know if you ever need help studying for another class :)”

you have no idea that he’s over the moon, and that finally brings an end to your friendship, and starts your relationship

bertholdt hoover

mister bertholdt is structural design and architecture major

there’s basically six of those total in your entire college, so he definitely gets a bit isolated/lonely sometimes

he basically came to college with reiner & annie, and figured he didn’t really need more friends than that

so when they’re busy, he’s just by himself

annie definitely makes fun of him for not spreading his wings and flying out of the metaphorical nest, but he’s comfortable with how it is

not a huge fan of the party scene, and prefers a quiet night of studying

i feel like you and him would be the last two studying in the library most nights, and sometimes walk out together after the librarian reminds you both the building is closing

so, when reiner and annie drag him to a party one weekend, he’s shocked to see you there too with outgoing friends of your own

he’s used to seeing you in the bright fluorescent lighting of the library, so this dim, hazy room after the shots have already gone to his head is hard to take in

you two eventually end up talking after your friends push you towards him

“funny seeing you here.” “i could say the same to you.”

he already has a crush (you do too, but he doesn’t want to accept that) so the alcohol inhibits his usual caution

a little bit of dancing, a lot of sitting on the pavement outside while looking at the moon, stars, and each other, topped off with a first-kiss starts your relationship

levi ackerman

teaching assistant levi is a staple of your college

almost infamous, really

you count your lucky blessings that he’s still a year or so away from graduating with his ph.d. in molecular biology and that he’s ta’ing this microbiology class

you’ve definitely heard all sorts of rumors, but you really don’t know what’s truth and fiction

he definitely hasn’t slept with a third of his students (right?) but the lingering way he looks at you isn’t helping quell your thoughts

technically speaking, teaching assistants and students are not allowed to date, interact, etc

until the semester in which you are their student is completed, at least

it doesn’t take long after that for you two to constantly run into each other

“how’re your new classes going? any hot ta’s?” he asks, sipping his tea from the bookstore cafe. you choke on your hot chocolate.

all this being said, you’re an upperclassmen about to graduate, possibly start a ph.d. or masters program yourself. i see him teaching upper-level courses exclusively.

it’s not long after that you admit your feelings to each other, since after all, there’s no time to waste

erwin smith

you’re a second year masters program in the history department. your specialization is military history, so of course professor smith is assigned as your thesis advisor.

i mean, he’s only written several textbooks on the subject

on first sight, you can’t believe he’s a professor. because certainly, this is a some cruel twist of fate. he’s closer to your age than some of his colleagues.

you both try to keep it strictly professional

at first least. this gets gradually harder and harder

there’s a certain chemistry there neither of you can deny.

having a mutual interest in the same subjects doesn’t help too much either. suddenly, you guys are spending hours pouring over topics for his next textbook and your thesis.

the conversation continues over chinese food in his office, long after the rest of the building has cleared out for their friday evenings

“well, i won’t keep you any longer. i’m sure you have much better plans on a friday night than talking military policy with me.”

“there is no where else i’d rather be.”

hope you all liked it! :)

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teamfreewill56-blog · 3 years

Text

It Means Nothing

So I don’t EVER write fan fiction because I’m not good at writing other people’s characters and them being OOC drives me bonkers but I couldn’t get this out of my head.

KyojuroxReader SFW; slight angst? Y/N is also a Hashira

She breathed a sigh of relief seeing the Rengoku manor within walking distance, “Finally home Kyojuro, how is your shoulder?”

“It is a little sore but it will be all right. I’ve had worse.” He grinned. “If you hadn’t chopped his arm off at that last second I wouldn’t have had such a clean shot to cut off his head.”

“That’s enough praises out of you. I’ll help you rebandage it after we get cleaned up.” She pushed the doors to the estate open and let him go through first.

“Brother! Y/N!” Senjuro ran from an open room and jumped off the porch, running over to them he hugged Kyojuro who laughed and hugged him back. “You’re home! Thank goodness! Are you okay?”

“We’re back safe Senjuro!” Kyojuro assured him with a grin.

“I’m so glad! I missed you both!” He let go of Kyojuro and hugged Y/N, she hugged him back, “I missed you too.” She kissed his forehead and Kyojuro beamed, his heart filling with joy seeing how happy Senjuro was in her arms. Y/N softly stroked the young boy’s fire tipped hair, “You must have been lonely.”

“I...it’s been all right, I’m just glad you’re home, are you both okay? Are you hurt?”

Kyojuro’s stomach twisted seeing his little brother’s hesitation, and the reminder that he was in this big house practically all alone all the time. “I’m sorry Senjuro. And only a little scratch, nothing to worry about!”

“Oh! No, it’s okay brother, you’re fulfilling your duties as a Hashira, it’s important!” He moved back from Y/N’s hug and gazed up at his brother.

Kyojuro touched Senjuro’s cheek softly, “We’re done with our duties for a while, so we get to be home for a couple of days.”

“I’m glad, are you sure the wound isn’t bad? You’ll be okay?” Senjuro’s eyebrows creased.

“I promise.” Kyojuro beamed at him. “I smell something delicious, what are you cooking Senjuro?”

He smiled softly, “Sweet potatoes and salt grilled bream.”

“Wahoo! You are an amazing little brother!” Kyojuro walked towards the house, “I’ll be right back, I’m going to report to father. Go ahead and start without me!”

“Kyojuro wait,” she called after the Flame Hashira, remembering something that had been eating at her thoughts for some time now. Kyojuro turned to her, “Hm?”

“I want to meet with Shinjurou, after you’re done checking in that is.”

Kyojuro’s smile fell, she had never met with Shinjuoru, or even seen him. Despite spending most of her free time at the Rengoku Mansion when they weren’t on duty. Even when she had dinner with them Senjurou took his father’s food to his room for him, he didn’t join them. She of course knew the stories about him as the previous Flame Hashira, and Kyojuro after some time had been willing to tell her about his childhood, so she knew about his mother, she’d never seen the ex-Hashira. Even though she was a Hashira herself, and she and Kyojuro had been together for almost a year.

“Why?”

She gave him a sly grin, “To ask for your hand in marriage of course.”

Kyojuro’s face flushed, “W-WHAT!? But you’re not supposed to--”

She laughed as Senjuro stared up at her wide-eyed, “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” Y/N ruffled Senjuro’s soft hair with both hands, “Besides, I’d ask Senjuro’s permission before anyone else’s.” She paused, “I’ve never properly introduced myself to him even once, I want to meet him face to face. He’s your dad and a former Hashira, it’s rude for me to come over and not greet him.”

“Those kinds of things don’t matter to him Y/N, there’s no need to greet him.”

“Brother’s right, and Dad’s been in a really bad mood lately…”

“I’m a Hashira, I’m not afraid of the bad temper of a fellow Hashira.” She met Kyojuro’s eyes, determined. “Please let me talk to him, Kyojuro.”

He nodded, “All right, come on then. We’ll be right back Senjuro!”

“Okay.” He answered timidly, “I’ll set the table.” She let him go and follow Kyojuro.

“What’s the real reason?” Kyojuro asked once they were both no longer in earshot. Y/N looked up at him with raised eyebrows but he was looking at her with a concerned expression.

“I’ll tell you afterwards, I can tell you’re wanting to talk me out of it, and I need to do this.” She paused and cupped his chin between her fingers, “No matter what happens, or what you hear, don’t come into the room. I don’t mind if you listen in, but I don’t want you in there. I don’t want him lashing out at you, I want his focus on me.”

“But it’s okay for him to lash out at you? Y/N-”

“I’ve endured worse than anything your father could ever do to me.” She pushed her fingers against his lips, “Kyojuro you can’t keep waiting for him to pick himself up, you’re an adult now, and he’s still lying in bed. He can’t break out of this alone. Besides, he’s not an evil monster, he’s just a man in pain.”

“You’re right.” He sighed, kissing her fingers he pulled them to the side and softly kissed her, she kissed him back.

“No matter what he says or what you hear, stay out. Just listen.”

“All right.” He rubbed his thumb against her cheek.

She kissed the inside of his palm and walked with him to Shinjurou’s room, she kneeled down outside the door and listened as Kyojuro gave his report and dismissed him. He looked back at her and she motioned for him to come out. Kyojuro bowed to his father’s back then stood and walked out. She walked into the room and slid the door shut behind her, keeping it open only a small crack. She walked over to the bed and kneeled down. She knew Kyojuro was kneeling right next to the door, and she just hoped he really would stay put. She took a deep breath, feeling the extra flow of her total concentration breathing constant and looked back at Shinjurou, staring out at the garden with an open book beside him and a jug of sake as well. The smell of the alcohol coated the room.

“Get out. I didn’t ask to speak to you.”

“No.” She answered calmly, “ Why did you tell Kyojuro that being the Flame Hashira means nothing?”

“Don’t back talk to me girl! What I tell my sons is none of your business!”

“It is my business when what you’re saying affects someone I love. Did you tell him that because being a Hashira didn’t provide you with a way to actually save her?”

Shinjurou grabbed his jug and hurled it at her. She let it hit her, “GET OUT OF HERE! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT!?”

She didn’t move, the jug shattered and covered her in sake, she kept her fists on her thighs, even though the jug hit her forehead it somehow missed striking her eyes. Eyes that she bore into Shinjurou with determination, his eyes widened as he realized she wasn’t dodging and had just taken it to the face. Blood cracked down her face, “I know that she had great pride in you as a Hashira and a Dad, because why else would Kyojuro work so hard to obtain it.” He reached for her and she grabbed his arm, not flinching, “I know how much it hurts to be so utterly helpless as the person you cherish fades away, and not being able to do anything. You feel like your entire body is being destroyed from the inside and it hurts so much to feel you’d do anything to be numb. To feel the poison in your chest every time you have to look at a true monster who’s still alive when you lost someone who was pure love and kindness and did nothing but good in their life.” She flattened her hand so it was resting against his, and placed her other hand on his wrist, his body shaking as he glared at her, “I know that she left you two amazing, beautiful sons that emanate her because everything Kyojuro does he does because of her. They’re not just your sons, they were hers too, they have her in them, and I can’t just sit by and keep watching you punish them for that by removing yourself from their lives and being so hostile towards them. How can you love her and yet be so cruel to the two people she blessed you with? The only two things in this whole world that are left of her? Your sons only have love for you, in spite of everything and you are the only person who can show them the full magnificence of their mother, she deserves to be allowed to still exist here, and I wish you would bring her back into their lives. I know you’re afraid of losing them, I can’t imagine how terrifying it must be for you every time Kyojuro leaves on an assignment. But you can’t protect him lying in here reading. You can’t be a bystander in his life and still hope to protect him.”

Shinjurou glared at her, frozen, but his eyes getting moist. She put her hands down and gently pulled herself from his grasp, “Excuse me.” She whispered, bowing before getting up and walking out of the room, not looking at him so she doesn’t see that he’s still frozen in place. She slid the door shut and looked down at Kyojuro who was staring into the room, tears in his eyes, he looked up at her, being brought back to the present as she moved the door. She kneeled down and gently cupped his face in her hands, wiping his tears away she gave him a gentle reassuring smile, now noticing that her body was shaking with the confrontation being over. She was feeling so many things she couldn’t quite figure out which feeling was making her tremble. She could tell Kyojuro was trying to figure out what to address first, her shaking, bleeding or that she was drenched.

“I’m fine, Tanjiro’s not the only one with a hard head, but some fresh clothes would be appreciated.” Kyojuro hugged her and led her to his room where he gave her one of Mitsuri’s old training outfits. She changed and then cleaned up her face, Kyojuro insisting on helping her bandage the cut running diagonally across the center of her forehead.

“Y/N you should have stopped it--I should have stepped in--”

“I needed to get my point across, and he needed to know I wasn’t trying to fight him.” She smiled, “I just hope he at least considers what I said. Your Dad is still alive, by some miracle given all the sake he drinks, and I just...I know you want your Dad back, and I want to do everything I can to bring him back to you. He might not listen to me still, but it was worth a shot.” She ran to the door, “Senjuro Kyojuro said he didn’t want his sweet potatoes and I can have them!” She grinned and ran out of the room.

“Hey wait a minute I did not! Senjuro don’t listen to her!” Kyojuro raced out of the room after her. He managed to get to the dining room just seconds after she did and tackled her, pinning her down, “Those are mine!” She hit him in the stomach with her knees knocking him off as Senjuro came into the room with a fourth plate. “I’ll be right back, I’m going to take--” Senjuro froze as he looked at the door, Shinjurou stood there, he looked at Y/N and Kyojuro. The pair immediately sat up properly.

“D-Dad?” Senjuro stuttered.

Link to Ch. 2: https://teamfreewill56-blog.tumblr.com/post/654545159409795072/it-means-nothing-ch2

#rengoku shinjuro #rengoku kyōjurō #kyojuro rengoku #kyojurou x reader #shinjurou rengoku #set your heart ablaze #fire pillar #flame hashira

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multiland · 3 years

Text

Mr. perfect.

pairing: idol!Joshua x reader

genre: angst

word count: 1.5K

summary: what do you do when the one who was always there to comfort you, is the one who now has broken you?

warnings: mentions of cheating, denial and heartbreak.

A/N: this sucks. I’m sorry.

When you first learned about love, you always tried to keep in mind that everything about it was ephemeral, that no matter how many happy endings you had heard about, there was no way someone could ever meet such expectations. To you, fairytales were nothing but that, a fictional scenario people created to give themselves hope, to try to find something good even when the so-called love they felt, hurt them more than any physical harm.

But then you met Joshua, and suddenly you found yourself believing in everything you had convinced yourself was nothing but a lie.

You met him on a Friday night at some fancy party your best friend had thrown. Being from a wealthy family, it was no surprise to you that you found some famous people there. You were nothing like them, but being attached to the hip to her since you were kids surely took you to some places you would’ve never thought you’d ever see.

Dressed in a skin-tight navy dress, you were minding your own business, playing with the martini in your hands as your eyes traveled across the enormous house. The music wasn’t the same kind people your age would put in the background, instead, there were some violinists and pianists playing live. You felt out of place, the fact that your friend had left your side to keep greeting people not helping at all.

And that’s when you saw him, walking through the door with some other guys in a beige tuxedo, black strands of hair hanging over his eyes and small silver piercings decorating his ears.

Your eyes were immediately drawn to him, as he stood there across the room with his hands in his pockets, clearly enjoying the music and focused on the musicians. That’s when somewhere along the lines his eyes had landed on you, the previously blank expression on his face turning into the smallest but sweetest smile for you, and you swore you had never seen a man that beautiful in your entire life.

You knew it was over for you as soon as those round and beautiful dark orbs made your heart go crazy, wanting to look away but not being able to. He had an instant power over you, and you didn’t even want it to be any different.

Somehow you exchanged numbers that night, and although you thought you would never see him again, he proved you otherwise when he started texting you the following days.

You started spending time together every now and then, going to some cafes or meeting somewhere more private. Knowing the reality of his situation wasn’t something easy, but you were soon so infatuated with him that you didn’t even think of saying no when he asked you out.

Being with an idol wasn’t what you had expected at all, but Joshua always made everything feel so safe, warm, and comfortable that everything seemed to be just so easy.

He was so attentive, caring, and loving that you, not even once, felt neglected. He called you every single night before going to sleep or messaged you in the mornings or during breaks.

If you ever felt bad, he always knew the right words to say, and even though you felt insecure about him being around beautiful women all the time, he was quick to ease your fears and make you believe there was no way in the world he would ever want someone who wasn’t you.

You felt wanted, beautiful, and loved. He was a prince, he was everything someone could have ever wanted. So gentle, sweet, always there for you no matter what.

He was the only one who was able to set your body aflame with a single touch, always feeling like you were flying whenever his arms wrapped around you and the smell of his cologne, so familiar, filled your nose and made you feel like everything would be okay.

The way he held your hand and kissed your knuckles when he drove, the way he always tucked strands of hair behind your ear, or the way he kissed you in the middle of saying something just because he couldn’t help but being so whipped for you, making you lose your mind with such a simple action.

His sweet, raspy voice in the mornings after he had spent the night; the way his pupils dilated whenever you wore one of his shirts with nothing underneath, the way he made love to you as soon as he went back home, loving you hard enough for you to feel the trace of his fingers and the taste of his mouth whenever he had to leave again. Fingers through his hair as his mouth swallowed your moans, fingertips digging on your burning skin, teeth sinking on the flesh as he took you to paradise.

The way you found relief in his lips, kissing like there was no tomorrow and feeling like you couldn't get enough of each other. His tongue making you delirious, electrifying every inch of your skin.

Everything that came out of his mouth was dripping with honey, because he never wanted to see you upset, because he was your serotonin, because he simply was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and you were the same for him.

Or at least, that’s what you thought.

That’s why you couldn’t process the words that were falling from his mouth that night, after a month of not seeing each other for his comeback and promotions, he had come to your house, but as soon as you met his gaze, you knew something was wrong.

But you never thought it’d be something so horrible.

He had appeared at your place to tell you he had kissed a female back dancer a week before.

“No.” You laughed humorlessly as you shook your head. “It’s impossible. That did not happen.”

His eyes were filled with hurt and remorse, the more he noticed your denial, the worse he felt.

“y/n… I- I’m so sorry… Fuck I’m sorry. I swear I love you. I’m such an asshole.”

“Joshua, please stop. This is not a funny joke.”

“How can you think I would joke with something like this?” He asked in frustration, running his fingers through his hair.

And you were well aware of it not being a joke in the slightest. The way you could feel cold sweat running down your spine and your stomach churn kept trying to pull your feet back to the ground. But you would try to trick the fate and desperately conjure the truth you wanted to take place.

“Because there’s no way you’d do something like that. You love me, right? You’ve done nothing but show me how much you do.”

Joshua swallowed, tears burning his eyes and threatening to fall.

“I do love you. More than anything.” He assured. “That’s why I’m here, that’s why I can’t stand the idea of what I did behind your back. I kissed someone else while you stayed home and gave me all of your trust.” He repeated. “I regret it every second because I know how much I just fucked up… But I can’t cope with the idea of you trying to dismiss it. I don’t deserve it.”

"Joshua"

He shook his head, stepping closer and grabbing your hands in his.

"Please, please don't give me a chance to stay by your side because I will not hesitate to take it and I don't deserve to be with someone like you." His voice was so sweet, so subtle despite of him saying something so devastating. His hand moved to tuck a strand of hair behind you ear like he always did, retreating as soon as the guilt attacked him again. "You're so beautiful, so smart, sweet and bright and I'm so, so in love with you. It kills me to know I just ruined everything with the woman I love the most in such a dumb way."

You noticed the way his eyes were getting watery, another thing that made you realize how real it was. You wanted to hate him and tell him how much of a dick he was, but nothing came out of your mouth. You just couldn't, although you knew you should have, you could not bring yourself to hate him.

“You- No, listen Joshua…” You trailed off, heart finally breaking in a million pieces as you tried your best to convince yourself that everything was nothing but a twisted dream. “I know you would never hurt me like that. You would never cheat on me. Why would you? That’s ridiculous! You know that I'd do anything for you, right? You know that I love you more than anything. We’ve always had this chemistry, this peaceful and beautiful relationship. You’ve never given me any reasons to be jealous or to feel insecure, someone like that wouldn’t go against his own preach.” You tried to reason, a bitter chuckle slipping from your lips as you wiped your tears “See, I know you’re just such a gentleman that you’d rather put the blame on your shoulders than say she was the one who took advantage of you and kissed you. You’re a gorgeous guy, it must be hard for people not to throw themselv-"

“Why are you trying so desperately to excuse my actions?" He interrupted you in distress. "Babe, I- I don’t deserve it. I was the one who kissed her. While we danced the atmosphere got tense, the adrenaline did not help, and I just had the impulse.” Joshua said lowly, the knot in his throat becoming thicker and making it hard for him to breathe. “I’m so sorry... Why can't you just blame me for what I did? Just tell me how much of a piece of shit I am, slap me, tell me you don't want to see me again. Call me a dickhead, the worst thing that happened to you, I'll take it all, because I fucked up.”

You forced yourself to step back, the air in your lungs slowly fading away as the void in your chest grew bigger.

“No... I- I can't... Because you would never do something so vile.” You smiled, not noticing the way your tears were already streaming down your cheeks. "You wouldn't throw all the beautiful things between us out of the window just to get your damn dick wet. Not when you told me so many times how you'd never want anyone else but me and I believed you because you looked me in the eyes."

Joshua pressed his eyes shut and took a deep, shaky breath as he stepped closer, but you stepped back.

"I do not want anyone else but you, but I stopped thinking and just let my primal self take control instead of considering what I got to lose."

"No!" You shouted. "You wouldn't! You're perfect!"

Joshua lowered his gaze to the floor, hands ballin into fists.

“I’m not perfect… I never was, I never will. No one is.” He whispered. "That's why I need to go before I keep hurting you. If you ask me to stay I will, and I can not let you accept me back."

And then you knew. The idea you had engraved in your head about love being a real fairytale was long gone, cause all it did was break, burn and end.

Your sweet boyfriend, the same who used to whisper how much he loved you against your lips, the same who washed your hair for you, the same who looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world, was the same one who had stabbed you in the back.

Your lip quivered, and Joshua wanted desperately to wipe your tears away and hold you in his arms, but how could he? When he was the one who had hurt you in the first place, how could he ever fix up a heart he let down? He did not deserve to touch you ever again.

With a shaky breath, you forced the words out of your throat.

“That’s where the problem is, Joshua.” You said, voice cracking as his brows pulled together in confusion. “That’s why facing the truth will destroy every part of my being, that's why I will never be able to trust anyone again, that's why I don't want you to walk out the door. If you do, everything will be real, and the thing that would hurt the most is to realize all this time I stopped believing in my instincts, because I thought you were different, because I've always known perfection does not exist…" You explained, a small sob falling from your mouth and cutting you out before you continued. "But to me, you were perfect.”

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mamitomoesyandereblog · 3 years

Note

First time doing one of these, how about some yandere mami tomoe x reader headcanons?

Of course! You can certainly tell by the whole aesthetic of the blog; but Mami is my favourite character from the series. That being said; I'll try to do my best. Hope you like it; dear anon. ^^

Tw;

Yandere stuff, unusual behaviours, unhealthy relationships, mentions of kidnapping/Stockholm syndrome , mentions of suicide

I don't support this kind of actions or behaviour in any way; this is just fiction and should stay fiction.

(Spoilers For Puella Magi Madoka Magica ahead)

💛Yandere! Mami Tomoe Headcannons💛

First things first; how you two met. The request didn't specify whether they wanted the headcannons to be romantic or platonic so I'll try to keep it somewhere in between.

It was just another normal school day and you were walking home on your own; since your friends were all busy today. But then, as you're walking, you suddenly feel dizzy. It's as if everything around you is deforming in some sort of way. Whispers of "Were your friends really busy?" and "Maybe you're too pathetic for them, you would be better off dead" were ringing in your ear. Before you know it you're in a witch labyrinth.

Long story short; a certain blonde magical girl came to your rescue.

After saving you she introduced herself and made you promise to keep it a secret. She insists to walk you home and on your way there she shares with you more about magical girls and her experience as one in general. And then you reach your house and the two of you never speak again. Or so you thought.

The next day something unexpected happen. You find her and talk with her again after school. And the two of you become friends.

🍵 After meeting you Mami feels like she's finally not alone anymore. Maybe you're not a magical girl but you're still someone she can talk to, share her problems with. You're the only one she has at the moment, the only thing she looks forward to besides her magical girl duties. So it's only natural that she's a bit clingy, often texting you multiple times and passing by your class at school (if you're not in the same class or you go to the same school)

🍵 She tries her best to put a brave act in front of you, she wants you to look up to her and feel safe with her. She wants you to see her as someone you can always rely on. She feels comfortable enough to vent to you though. You've seen her cry at least once, you've comforted her multiple times. You understand, you're the only one who understands. In her eyes at least.

🍵 She's definitely the type to be touchy but not full on like giving hugs. Maybe if you guys were official she would but as friends she just does small gestures. Such as putting her hand on your shoulder or holding your hands from time to time; often pulling you closer to her without even realising. It makes her feel safer in a way. It reminds her of how close you are; it reminds her that the most important person in her life is here with her.

🍵 If you ever started spending less time with her, especially because of other people, she'd definitely get emotional. As we've seen in the anime; Mami isn't really emotionally stable. So if something like this were to happen she'd instantly go into panic mode. She wouldn't get jealous, she'd get scared. Scared that you're going to leave her, just like an old "friend" of hers did in the past. So she'd ask you to talk about it. At first she seems calm and has a smile on her face but the more she goes on the more emotional she gets, even starts crying.

🍵 What would happen if you decided to leave her out of your life immediately though? Maybe you start avoiding her on purpose or you outright announce to her. Either way; it ends the same. If you avoid her she'd come up to you, maybe in an alleyway near your house or somewhere you can't back away easily. If you announce it to her what's to come would happen then and there. She's silent for a few seconds. Then she starts sobbing, panicking more than she's ever panicked before. You then attempt to walk away and for the first time in her life as a magical girl she uses her magic out of the battle.

🍵 Most of her magic is based on ribbons, so expect to wake up with a bunch of em' tied around you, keeping you in place. She's a magical girl and you're just...a normal girl/boy/person. There's nothing you can do against magic ribbons. If even Homura couldn't get out of the ribbons then there's no way you would. She'd probably try to act as if those ribbons don't exist though. As if you're just a friend, or even something more, staying over for the night. Although it's going to be a lot longer than just the night.

🍵 Keeping in mind that you're tied with a bunch of magical ribbons that get tighter the more you struggle there aren't really many ways you could misbehave. Yelling at her would be the only thing you'd be capable of doing and she could either ignore it or have a ribbon cover your mouth as well. She's trying to convince herself that what caused her to do this never happened, trying to pretend all this is normal.

🍵 Once you gain her trust she'd let you out of the ribbons. It would be quite easy, to be honest. Her entire mental stability depends on you at this point since you're the only one she has. Good luck with trying to get out of her apartment. Everything is locked and it's too high for you to jump off. If you somehow did manage to go out though... It's you against a veteran unstable teenage girl with the power to summon hundreds of rifles at once. So once again; good luck.

🍵 If you did really learn to love her she'd be so so happy, crying tears of joy even. She'd get a lot more physical as well when you're in her apartment so you'd get a lot of hugs. And free desserts. Unlike some yanderes she'd let you get out of the house; on your own as well. As long as you came back in time. You'd also be able to go to school again, although you'd spend all of your time by her side. She'd even force Kyubey to help you telepathically talk to eachother during class as well.

🍵 If anyone ever made a move on you she'd probably get between the two of you, literally, and threaten them. She'd somehow make herself seem intimidating while still sounding pretty calm and wearing a smile. If someone decided to hurt you though... Well; if they were to insult you they'd get the same treatment as making a move with you. If they actually hurt you physically...oh boy. At first it's just a playful threat. Once you leave that fake smile on her face would be gone though, replaced by a glare instead. She'd threaten the person again, this time sounding more determinated than before. She wouldn't use her magic though, she still has to keep the whole Magical Girl thing a secret after all.

🍵 When and if she learnt the truth about witches... It'd be tough. Learning that she's going to either die fighting or become what she's been fighting all this time messes her up by itself, but realising that she's never going to be with you no matter what makes it one trillion times worse. She would still do the same she did in the series. What if one day she turned into a witch and ended up hurting you? No. She'd rather end it all sooner, it was for the better. If she somehow learnt it without the Sayaka fiasco happening and the circumstances were ideal she'd send you a voicemail before ending it all. Her last goodbye.

🍵 I'd imagine her witch form to be the same but with some changes. For example; her familiars would give the people who entered the labyrinth a missing poster that read "Vidisti amica mea?" before walking them to the tea party. I can even imagine the witch taking people in hopes of finding someone one day. She can't remember anything about who it was exactly but she's just desperate to find them; maybe they'd make the tea party more fun, whoever they were.

Aaand that's everything! I apologize if it wasn't exactly to your liking dear reader, it's my first time writing yandere headcannons.

(Also don't worry about the reader not being a magical girl/boy, I'm saving that for the future 👀)

With all that being said; I hope you liked the headcannons! Or some of them, at least. Requests are still open of course. Have a lovely day/night! 💕

#soft yandere #yandere x reader #yandere #mami tomoe #yandere mami tomoe #x reader #headcanon #yandere headcanons #puella magi madoka magica

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hazel-light · 3 years

Text

Chapter Word Count: ~7,400

Total Fic Word Count: ~30,000

Genre: (Wedding) Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, lots of bed sharing and every self indulgent fluffy trope possible.

Warnings: None? Lots of fluff? Occasional cussing? Some suggestive themes, moments, and jokes I guess. No smut or anything!

Disclaimer: I am not Daniel Sharman, and I do not pretend to know how he would act, speak, etc. This is fiction okay, there’s a lot of creative license, and potential to be OOC. Ricky isn’t mentioned because I started writing this before we knew he existed, so apologies for that. Also, if you’re DShar himself, please do us both a favor and don’t read this, okay???? Same if you know him 🙈

Title taken from the song Yellow Lights by Harry Hudson which suits this story quite a bit!

A/N: You thought I'd skip all the possibilities and tropes that come with the holidays?! Of course not. This is the final part to Yellow Lights. Thank you all for making my return to writing and posting so wonderful. I am so, so, grateful. I hope the ending lives up to your expectations. <3

The next month and a half passes by uneventfully. I try not to spend all of my time thinking about how great Rachel's wedding was, and equally try to ignore the wistful feeling Henry’s wedding left me with. Having Daniel be my fake boyfriend in front of my family showed me everything that I’d ever wanted; someone who fit in seamlessly, who loved me for me, with the perfect balance of romance and friendship. Whatever crush I had successfully buried when Daniel and I first met is now achingly hard to avoid. I curse my active imagination and optimism for letting me indulge in the moments of pretend, leaning too comfortably into our façade.

As a result, I don’t talk to Daniel much. He is busy finishing filming his project in London, and I try to focus on my life in LA. I’ve become paranoid that every text I send him is one too many, too annoying, or too bothersome. I figure I can reassess things when Daniel comes home from filming, and try to find my footing in our friendship again.

This seems like a solid plan until I’m on Zoom with my family for Thanksgiving. Since I’ve already flown back once this year for the wedding, and I’m planning to fly back again next month for Christmas, staying put for Thanksgiving was the economical choice. The call is mostly uneventful until the subject of Daniel comes up.

“Where’s that boy?” Aunt Judith crows from her spot at the dining table.

“Hmm?” I ask.

“She means Daniel.” Ryan rolls his eyes, bringing the iPad closer to her.

“Oh! Right.” I try to recover. “He’s still away filming his new project, actually, but I was able to fly out to see him at the end of September for another wedding, actually.”

Aunt Judith frowns. “That’s a long time to not see someone that handsome—” I start to laugh, “Are you sure he’s not cheating on you?”

Oh shit. It’s in this moment that I realize Daniel and I had never “broken up” as far as my family knows. I hear the rest of my family start sputtering in the background.

“Aunt Judith— you can’t just—”

“That’s awful, I—”

“It is kind of a long time, huh?—”

I try to keep a straight face. “Guys! It’s okay. He’s an actor, it comes with the territory. I expected this.”

“So you aren’t sure that he’s not cheating on you?” Ryan frowns.

“That isn’t what I meant, Ry. Daniel and I are fine. We’re really good, actually.”

“Well I certainly hope you’ll be bringing him home for Christmas then.” Aunt Judith huffs.

“It would be nice to see him,” Rachel speaks up for the first time, and her husband Nick nods. “I didn’t get to talk to him a whole lot at the wedding.”

I clear my throat, my mind racing. “You know, we haven’t actually talked about what we’re doing for Christmas yet; I’ll have to see what he’s doing— if he’s going to spend it with his family.”

“But you’re still coming home,” Ryan states.

“Yes, I am still coming home, no matter what.”

Ryan and Rachel’s mom, my auntie Kim speaks up. “I think it’s pretty common for a boyfriend to defer to his girlfriend’s family for the holidays. I mean, Ryan splits the day with Katharine of course, but Nick always came here with Rachel.”

“I hear you, Auntie Kim, but Daniel never gets to see his family so I’m not sure— all I’m saying is I’m not sure. He may very well come, and I will let you all know as soon as I know.” I smile tersely.

“Well hurry up, and find out,” Auntie Kim chastises. “Christmas is only a month away.”

When I hang up with them, it’s 7pm and I’m feeling antsy. How could I have forgotten that my entire family still thought Daniel and I were together? I’m not sure how to get out of this one. Tired of panicking alone in my head, I pick up my phone and dial Daniel before I can talk myself out of it. It rings and rings, and my anxiety that he won’t answer grows with each tone.

Eventually I hear rustling on the other line.

“Lauren?” Daniel’s voice crackles through the phone.

“Hi.”

“Are you alright?”

“What? Uh— yeah, I just needed to talk to you about something—” I glance at the time on my phone. “Oh god, no. What time is it there? I’m so sorry— I didn’t even stop to think about the time difference, I—”

I hear him suppress a yawn. “Lauren. It must be pretty important if you’re calling me AND rambling like this.”

“No, no, it can wait, I’m sorry— uh, go back to bed. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Lauren,” he stops me softly and firmly. “Stop apologizing. What’s going on?”

I sit quietly, feeling like an absolute idiot.

“Lauren, come on. You can tell me.”

“I— we… we never broke up?”

He laughs. “Sorry, what?”

“We never broke up.”

“Am I still asleep, is this a dream?”

“My family still thinks we’re together and they asked me if you’re coming home for Christmas.”

We’re both quiet for a moment.

“Oh.” is all he says.

“I talked to them for Thanksgiving, and they were asking about you. I realized too late that they thought we were still together— because I never told them we broke up. I didn’t think it through this far.”

“Right, I didn’t either.”

My phone starts ringing, telling me Daniel’s trying to FaceTime me.

I accept, and I’m faced with a dark screen.

“Why are we FaceTiming?”

I hear a lamp click on and suddenly Daniel’s face is illuminated as he lays in bed, lines from his pillow still on his face.

“Figured we should at least be able to see each other if you’re going to break up with me in the middle of the night,” he teases.

I shake my head. “Not funny, this is serious, D.”

“I know, I know.”

“If I break up with you, they’re going to yell at me and tell me I’m a stupid idiot.”

Daniel laughs.

“And if you break up with me they’re going to hate you, which means they’ll hate that we managed to ‘stay friends.’ And if it’s mutual…..” I shake my head, thinking. “They’ll think we were lying.”

“Which we were.”

I sigh, “Which we were.”

“So,” Daniel pulls his blanket up higher. “What are our options here?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I called you.”

I watch him stare off into space and reminisce about when I got to see this sleepy Daniel firsthand in Cape Cod.

“I could come for Christmas…” he trails off and I frown.

“That seems like asking a lot. You’ve already given up a lot of your free time this year for me.”

He shrugs into his pillow. “Do you not want me to come for Christmas?”

I pause. “I mean, that isn’t really the issue here. You have to be tired of being in love with me by now.”

He laughs loudly — a stark contrast to the quiet of his room. “Yes, being in love with you is very exhausting.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I’m kidding. Being in love with you is not exhausting. At all.”

I roll my eyes and say nothing. “I don’t think I can bear to break your family’s hearts at Christmas of all times.”

“Man of the year.” I drawl. “What are you supposed to be doing for Christmas? Going home?”

“No, usually I travel somewhere, but I hadn't decided yet.”

I hum in response.

“Kind of leaning towards traveling to Massachusetts now, if I’m honest.”

I look at him incredulously, only to see a playful grin on his face, but I know he’s serious.

“I’m not going to stop you if you really want to come. But I—” I swallow. “Eventually we’re going to need to plan for whatever happens after Christmas.”

He nods. “I know, we will. Let’s just enjoy Christmas together, first.”

I smile. “Okay. We can enjoy it. Together.”

He clears his throat. “I hope I’m not too rusty at this boyfriend performance, it’s been a few months.”

“Daniel Sharman has performance issues… I hope that doesn’t get out to the press.”

His eyes flash. “Bold, for you.”

I shrug. “You walked into that one, baby.”

“Well, you’re lucky you’re cute, darling.”

We look at each other for a moment, and I hope my eyes don’t give away how fond I am for this man who is willing to commit to fake-loving me, and putting up with my family, and who is setting the bar way too high for any actual real relationship I could hope for.

So much for reburying my feelings.

I break eye contact first. “I’ll let you get back to sleep. Sorry again for waking you up.”

“Do Not Disturb doesn’t apply to you, Lauren. Call any time.”

I smile softly. “Sweet dreams, I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.”

—-

I’m standing in the Boston Logan airport waiting for international arrivals; specifically Daniel’s flight from London. According to the board, his flight landed 15 minutes ago, so he should be coming to the lobby any time now. I bounce on my feet, simultaneously eager and nervous to see Daniel for the first time since parting ways after Henry and Claire’s wedding.

Eventually I see the hat and sunglasses I recognize from a selfie he sent me earlier, and I can feel my heart race. I begin walking towards him, and feel my pace quicken as I get closer. Eventually he sees me too and he’s grinning at me with his signature toothy smile that I missed so much.

When we come into contact I don’t know what the appropriate response is, so I simply grin up at him.

“Hi,” I breathe.

“Hi,” he smiles back, and before I know it he’s closer than he was before and he’s ducking down to kiss me.

It surprises me but I respond quickly, leaning up to meet him.

When it’s over he pulls back just enough to nuzzle his nose with mine.

“Missed you,” he says softly.

“Missed you most.” I smile.

He stands up straight, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder, threading his other hand through mine.

I can’t see his eyes, but I assume he must be looking around when he speaks.

“Oh, are you by yourself?”

The question catches me off guard.

“Yeah— well, Ryan’s in the car, circling so he wouldn’t have to pay for parking,” I roll my eyes.

He nods, “Sorry, then—“ he makes an inconclusive gesture. “Suppose I didn’t need to kiss you quite yet.”

My stomach drops and I smile tightly, “That’s okay— better safe than sorry. I get it.”

He tugs on my hand pulling me into a hug.

“I did miss you, though.”

“And I still missed you most.” I tease.

Daniel shakes his head, but doesn’t argue, pulling back from me and reaching for his suitcase with his freehand.

“Let’s get this show on the road.”

—-

I bring Daniel upstairs to show him around, and so he can put his suitcase in my room.

“Welcome to my childhood bedroom,” I announce, opening the door and leading Daniel inside.

“Wow, where little Lauren grew up,” Daniel teases looking around. When I first arrived home yesterday, I was quick to tidy up, and hide anything that was too embarrassing, but my room is more or less the exact same as I had left it when I was 18 and moving to college.

I nod. “Yes, many secrets to my backstory can be discovered in here.”

Daniel laughs.

Ryan appears in my doorway leaning against the doorframe.

“Just so you know, Daniel, my bedroom is on the other side of this wall,” he nods to his right. “I can hear everything that happens in here. The walls are thin.”

I frown, blushing, “Ew, Ryan.”

Daniel just laughs and smirks, “Got it, bro.”

I look at him incredulously, “Don’t encourage him.”

The two share a look and shrug, seemingly equally enjoying my discomfort.

“Dinner’s ready!” Auntie Kim calls up to us.

I use that as my cue, brushing past both of them to go downstairs, leaving their laughter behind me.

—-

After Christmas Eve dinner, Katharine stops by and the four of us decide to watch the classic, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I’m the last to arrive in the living room, and when I enter I immediately notice that Ryan is cuddled up with Katharine, and sprawled out over the entire couch, leaving Daniel sitting in the only other seat— the armchair.

I narrow my eyes at them, “Are you guys for real?”

Ryan looks at us and hums innocently, “What?”

“You took the entire couch.”

I see Katharine bite her lip in amusement, as Ryan shrugs.

“I assumed you guys would cuddle anyway. Can you not share the armchair?”

Daniel intervenes, “Of course we can. C’mon Laur.”

He pats his lap. I hesitate briefly before nestling into his lap, tucking my head into his neck.

“Am I crushing you?” I whisper.

“Not at all, you’re keeping me warm.”

I huff a laugh as he puts the blanket over us and Ryan starts the movie. The steady rise and fall of his chest brings me a sense of peace and I have to try not to fall asleep, especially when his fingers gently caress my arm and my leg where he’s holding me to him. I exhale, turning further into his neck and nuzzling into him.

“Tickles,” he breathes, just shy of a whisper.

“You smell good,” I tell him, letting my eyes close.

His chuckle reverberates through his body. “Thanks, darling.”

I feel my eyes shut and sleep take over. I start to come to when I hear the ending song come on, and it drifts into whatever dream I’m having.

“She asleep?” I hear Ryan ask.

“Think so,” Daniel answers.

“You need help waking her up?”

“No, I’ve got it, thanks though. Nice seeing you, Katharine.”

I hear footsteps retreat and feel a series of kisses pressed to my shoulder, as Daniel’s long fingers brush hair away from my face.

“Time to wake up, pretty girl. You can go back to sleep once we’re in your bed.”

I shake my head no, clinging to him tighter.

“Like this bed.” I murmur drowsily.

He laughs softly. “Promise we can cuddle there too.”

“Promise?” I ask, peeking one eye open.

“I promise,” he confirms, pressing one more kiss to my shoulder.

I lift my head to look at him, rubbing my eyes.

“There she is,” he smiles gently at me.

I smile back sleepily, the words coming out before I fully think them through.

“Wanna know a secret?”

“Tell me.”

I swallow, letting my gaze flicker down to his mouth for just a moment. “I like cuddling with you.”

“You do, huh?”

I nod.

“Well the feeling’s mutual. Let’s go upstairs and brush our teeth so we can cuddle more in your bed.”

“Okay,” I relent, getting off of him. He stands up after me and I instinctively lace my fingers with his, leading us back upstairs. When we’re brushed and changed, we settle ourselves in bed and I claim my spot tucked into his neck again.

“Sweet dreams,” he says, kissing the top of my head. I echo the sentiment and gently kiss the spot on his neck I’m closest to. His arms tighten around me and I’m falling asleep again.

—-

For once, I wake up before Daniel. He looks peaceful as he sleeps on his stomach, his arm across my waist, face half smushed into the pillow. I turn my head to look at the clock to see it’s about 9:30 and know the others will be waking up soon. I turn back to Daniel and card my fingers gently through his hair. Eventually his breathing changes and his eyes flutter open, still clouded with sleep.

“Merry Christmas,” I whisper, our faces just inches apart.

He pulls himself closer to me, nuzzling into my side and closing his eyes again. “Merry Christmas.”

It’s quiet for a moment before he speaks again, voice raspy with sleep. “Is everyone else awake?”

“No, I don’t think so. I haven’t heard anyone up and around… they might be soon. Usually we kind of wander downstairs around 10, and it’s just past 9:30.”

He hums in response.

“You can go back to sleep for a little while if you want,” I offer, still running my fingers through his hair. “I’ll wake you when it’s time to go downstairs.”

I start to think he’s drifted off to sleep again when he opens his eyes and looks at me. “No, I can get up. I want to give you your present.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “I told you not to get me anything; you coming here like this with me— twice— is more than enough.”

He rolls his eyes, detaching himself from me and rolling out of bed. “And look like the asshole who didn’t get his girlfriend anything for Christmas? Not a chance.”

I sit up. “We could’ve lied about it—”

“Lauren,” Daniel looks back at me exasperatedly, leaning over his suitcase. “It’s Christmas. Please just open your present.”

He pulls out a neatly wrapped, thin rectangle and places it in my lap, sitting next to me on the bed.

“Merry Christmas, Laur.”

I carefully unwrap the package to reveal a framed art print, with a circle of stars in the middle; underneath it says “The Night Everything Changed” with the coordinates of what I assume to be Los Angeles. I look up to him with soft eyes, and he gives a one shouldered shrug.

“Saw an ad for this online— where you can get the night sky documented of any night you want, anywhere you want. I thought it would be nice to commemorate this past year, for us…” he trails off, and I hug the frame to my chest.

“Daniel, I love it— Really, really love it. It’s so thoughtful.” I reach out and thread our fingers together. “I’m going to hang this in my room. I want it somewhere I see every day.”

He smiles and squeezes my hand. “I’m glad you like it. I actually wanted to talk to you about something— in relation to this. I—”

We’re interrupted by a light knocking on the door, and we both turn.

“Are you guys awake?” Ryan’s voice calls.

“Yeah, we’ll be out in a sec!” I answer.

I turn back to Daniel who squeezes my hand and moves to get up, but I pull him back.

“They can wait; this is special. I want to hear what you have to say.” I smile at him warmly, but he shakes his head, lifting the back of my hand to kiss it.

“It’s alright, I’d rather wait and tell you when we have more time to talk.”

I frown. “Promise me you won’t forget?”

He laughs. “Trust me, I won’t forget.”

He moves to stand, pulling me up with him to go downstairs, but I stop him, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

“Thank you, D. It means a lot to me.”

He returns my embrace, placing a kiss to the top of my head.

When we pull apart, I take his hand again. “Time for Christmas. Your present is under the tree, by the way.”

Daniel laughs. “A present double-standard.”

I shake my head and lead him out of the room.

—-

I think we’re done with presents when Ryan surprises me, coming over to Daniel and I on the loveseat.

“This is for both of you, kind of.” He hands me a thin, narrow gift.

Daniel looks up, surprised. “Thanks, man. That was thoughtful of you.”

He looks at me, silently asking, did you know about this?, and I shake my head no.

I unwrap the package to find a small frame, with a one hundred dollar bill matted in the middle. I look at Ryan and furrow my eyebrows.

“It's the hundred bucks I said I’d give you if you brought a real date to Rachel’s wedding. Seeing as the same guy is here for Christmas I figured you earned it. Thought I’d frame it— but you can take it out and spend it on a date or something, I don’t care.”

Auntie Kim squints. “Sorry, you told her what?”

I roll my eyes and try to avoid the way my stomach sinks at the reminder of how this all started.

I feel Daniel’s hand on my knee. “Clever, Ryan.”

I look over at him to see him flashing his polite interview smile, and I instantly know he knows exactly what I’m feeling.

Auntie Kim stands and stretches. “I don’t get it, but I’m going to go start breakfast. Your sister and Nick are picking up Judith soon and then they’re coming over. Katharine isn’t coming until dinner, right, Ryan?”

As Ryan confirms, she walks out of the room. Ryan turns back to us. “Mind if I shower first?”

I shake my head no, still lost in my thoughts, and I hear Daniel tell him to go ahead.

We’re left alone and I feel Daniel’s thumb brushing my knee.

“Thank you for my presents.”

“You’re welcome— I’m glad you like them; they don’t beat your present for me though.”

He rolls his eyes and we sit for a moment, the framed hundred dollar bill still in my hands.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I look at him and shake my head. “I don’t know. Just an odd reminder of how this started, and that it’s going to have to end soon, I guess.”

Daniel frowns. “We haven’t really gotten to talk about that. Why don’t we table that for later— we still have a nice day ahead of us. Those are problems for tomorrow.”

I nod and smile at him, and he pulls me in to kiss my temple, and I hear the click of an iPhone camera. I look up to see Auntie Kim in the doorway.

“Sorry, I just wanted to tell you that the coffee’s on. It was too cute not to capture.”

Daniel stands up, offering me his hand. “Make sure you send me a copy. I’ll have to add it to my collection.”

I chuckle as I stand. “Let me guess; the album is called ‘Cute and Shit.’”

He grins. “How’d you know?”

—-

Christmas flies by. It’s filled with good food, wine, and everyone I love. It’s hours after dinner, and Auntie Kim has already driven Aunt Judith home before going to bed herself.

Ryan, Katharine, Daniel, and I are all still seated around the dining room table playing some kind of team card game, and everyone’s faces are red from laughter and wine.

I can’t help but watch Daniel, who is in some kind of hilarious argument with Ryan over some card he pulled. His eyes shine from the light of the chandelier, and his smile is big and bright, taking over his whole face.

It hits me in this moment that I’ve surpassed unlabeled romantic feelings; I am truly in love with this man. The realization consumes me until Katharine knocks her shoulder into mine giggling.

“Can you believe we love these idiots?”

“Sometimes it’s a hard pill to swallow,” I tease, giggling, catching Daniel’s eye mid-argument. He winks at me and I feel my already red cheeks flush even deeper.

“You two are so cute,” Katharine continues, watching our interaction. She lowers her voice, whispering to me behind her wine glass. “I was kind of worried that when you got a boyfriend he wouldn’t mesh well with our dynamic, ya know? But it kind of feels like Daniel’s always been here.”

Her words vocalize the thoughts that have been ringing in my head all day. “I know what you mean.”

Katharine dramatically clears her throat. “Are you two done? Is it our turn yet?”

—-

We part ways from Ryan and Katharine in the hallway, giggling and shushing each other in the wee hours of the morning. I shut my door behind me and waggle my eyebrows at Daniel.

“Uh oh, there’s trouble,” he teases. “Planning to seduce me?”

I shrug exaggeratedly and he laughs before looking around. “Fuck, where are my sweatpants?”

I giggle. “They’re literally right behind you on the chair.”

“Oh, thanks.” He grabs them before looking at me. “Can I change in here tonight?”

I flush. “Yeah, sure.”

After sharing a room together all this time, this is the first time we’ve changed in front of each other and the thought makes my skin tingle. I make my way over to my dresser, pulling out my own sleep shorts and t-shirt. I wiggle out of my pants and pull on my shorts, glancing over my shoulder to see Daniel, shirtless, adjusting his sweatpants on his hips. My throat runs dry, and I turn around to pull my own shirt over my head, reaching behind me to unclip my bra once it’s on. I bundle my discarded clothes in my hand, walking over to toss them in the hamper. I turn around to find Daniel already looking at me. He’s still shirtless and my eyes drift to his defined chest. He looks down as if noticing for the first time.

“It’s really, uh, hot in here.” He speaks again. “Would it bother you if I slept shirtless?”

I shake my head, mentally screaming. “No, it is warm,” I agree, reaching up to put my hair in a bun on top of my head.

He watches me intently, and I laugh self consciously. “What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about how this was the best Christmas I’ve had in a while.”

My face lights up. “Really?”

“Yeah.” I see his grin quirk up, and know something else is coming. “I’d say it was almost perfect.”

“Oh?” I question, finishing my bun. “Go on.”

“We fit in a lot of classic traditions today, but we missed one that I’m quite fond of.”

I look at him, trying to think of what it could be, as he takes a step closer to me.

“There wasn’t any mistletoe.”

I swallow. “There wasn’t.” I pause, my mind racing. Before I can fully think it through I find myself offering, “But we could pretend?”

“Hmm?” He murmurs, taking a step closer to me so he’s right in front of me now. I know he’s giving me a chance to take it back, or make a joke; I’m nervous, but I don’t want to take it back. I just really want to kiss him.

“I’d really like it if you had a perfect Christmas.”

“And you?” He questions softly. “What would make it a perfect Christmas for you?”

Instead of answering him, I reach up on my tiptoes to kiss him for a moment, pulling back to look him in the eyes. His eyes meet mine in some unspoken understanding, and then he’s dipping down to kiss me again.

He kisses me softly, delicately, like all the kisses at the wedding. He pulls back briefly to look at me, as if he still expects me to change my mind. I kiss him again, wanting there to be no doubt in his mind, and he kisses me back with purpose and passion, and I’m caught off guard by the weight of it. I gasp, and Daniel uses this opportunity to deepen the kiss, pulling me closer. It reminds me of our very first kiss back on his couch. My arms move around his neck, pulling our bodies flush together.

Daniel pulls away first, but barely, breathing hard, kissing down from my jaw to my neck.

This is definitely new territory for us.

I move my hands to his hair, and he groans at the feeling. I can’t help myself as I sigh breathlessly, a shiver running down my back. He grins against my neck, his teeth scraping at my skin and I moan softly.

“Wait,” I say breathlessly, a thought somehow flitting through my mind. “Earlier, didn’t you say there was something else I should know about my present?”

“I can tell you tomorrow,” he murmurs into my neck between kisses. “It’s time for bed.” He tugs me down onto the bed so I’m underneath him, resuming his kisses on my neck.

“This doesn't seem like going to sleep to me,” I tease.

“It is, shhhh, you’re dreaming.”

“That I’d believe,” I laugh, and Daniel smirks, moving so we're eye to eye again.

“Dream about me often?”

“Shhh.” I pull him closer, turning his words back on him. “You’re dreaming, go back to bed.”

“Happily,” he murmurs, kissing me again.

I bring my hands down to his bare shoulders, feeling his warm, toned skin against my fingertips. I gently drag my nails down his chest to his stomach, and I feel his muscles clench at my touch. I can’t help but smirk to myself as he pulls away to rest his forehead on my shoulder, letting out a shuddering breath. I bring my nails around his back, tracing up his taut muscles and across his shoulder blades.

I feel one of his hands come down, pushing my shirt up, his mouth pressing hot kisses to my abdomen. His nose takes over pushing my shirt up, exploring every new inch revealed with his mouth, his hand now running over my thigh, fingers squeezing occasionally, slowly climbing higher. As his hand reaches the bottom of my shorts, he lightly tugs at the fabric. He pauses, his blue eyes tentatively peering up at me.

“Can I…?” He looks nervous, like I’ll reject him. As if I have ever rejected him, or could ever manage to deny him. I’m not even entirely sure what he’s asking but I find myself nodding quickly. As he goes to tug my shorts down we hear a bang on the wall we share with Ryan followed by a crash, a “Shhhh” and a “Shit.”

We both startle and look over toward the wall, before looking back at each other and laughing softly.

“Ugh, I don’t want to know,” I say, shaking my head.

“You probably, definitely don’t.” He smiles at me before pulling his hand off my shorts, and my shirt back down, letting his fingers trace along the waistband of my shorts before he clears his throat. “We should, uh, get some sleep.”

I blink at the abrupt change in mood before nodding awkwardly. “Okay, sure.”

He rolls off of me, and I reach over to shut the lamp off. I’m hesitant to cuddle up to him, unsure if what just happened changed something between us, but I’m relieved when I feel his arm wrap around me the way it always does. Neither of us say anything, and I try not to think about the last few minutes, the firmness of his body behind mine, or the way my body’s buzzing— closing my eyes to try and get some rest.

—-

The next two days with my family go pretty much the same way as Christmas did. Daniel gets on swimmingly with everyone, and my heart aches every time I realize that once the holidays are over, our charade is going to come to an end—a permanent end— this time. I try to ignore that thought and enjoy my time, basking in the coupley moments in front of my family, and leaning into every touch we share.

I never get a chance to ask about my Christmas present; the time never feels right, and Daniel doesn’t bring it up either. Nothing happens between us like Christmas night; when bedtime rolls around we change in the bathroom and go straight to bed. We cuddle, but there’s no after-dark kisses or wandering hands. I wonder if Daniel feels as self-conscious about that night as I do; if he does, he doesn’t show it.

—-

We’re in my room packing to go back to LA in an effort to try to beat the inevitable New Year’s rush at the airport.

“I need to find something to wrap this in so it doesn’t break in my luggage,” I frown, holding up Daniel’s present. “It’s my new prized possession— nothing can happen to it.”

Daniel looks over and laughs. “Want me to wrap it in my sweatpants? That's what I did on the way here.”

“Okay, thank you.” I pad across the floor and pass him the frame, our fingers brushing in the process.

“Of course.” His lips quirk up as he carefully arranges the frame in his suitcase.

A moment passes, and I wonder if now is a good time to ask about my present .

“Hey, I’ve been wanting to ask—“

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you—“

We both stop mid-sentence and Daniel laughs, “Sorry what were you saying?”

I shake my head, courage gone. “No— sorry, go ahead.”

He looks at me curiously but continues, “Henry texted me; he and Claire invited us to their New Year’s Eve party. They’re having it in LA this year.”

I quirk an eyebrow. “Us? They want me to go?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, Claire apparently requested your presence specifically.”

“Oh, that’s nice of her. I usually stay in for New Year’s.”

“It could be fun— if you aren’t sick of me yet,” Daniel teases.

“Ha!" I laugh, "If you aren’t sick of me yet, more like.” I shake my head. “And don’t mind sharing your friends with me.”

“They’re basically your friends now, too,” he argues.

“I’m not sure one wedding constitutes that, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

“You should come.”

I stop and look at him.

“I’ll call a car and pick you up on the way.”

When I hesitate, he softens his voice. “Please come.”

I swallow, “Okay.”

I’m not a big party person, but I also know I don’t have it in my heart to deny him, especially after everything he’s done for me.

He grins. “Really?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

“Cool, I’ll, uh, let them know we’re coming.”

I bite my lip to suppress my smile and start planning my outfit in my head.

—-

When we arrive at Claire and Henry’s house on New Year’s Eve, I try not to gawk at the size. It’s massive and sits high on one of the tallest hills in LA, away from the noise of the city.

The first person to spot us as we walk in is, unfortunately, Eleanor. I’d hoped she was in London, and away from us, but alas.

“Daniel!” she squeals, throwing her arms around him. “I was so hoping you’d be here.”

“Hi, El,” he placates her with a strained smile. “You remember Lauren?” He gestures back to me.

“Laura?” she asks, disinterested.

“Lauren,” I correct, forcing myself to smile. “Nice to see you again.”

“Eleanor,” Daniel intervenes. “Could you point us in the direction of Henry and Claire, perhaps?”

She frowns, but quickly covers it up. “They were in the kitchen last I checked— we have just got to catch up later.”

“We will!” He agrees graciously. “Let us get a drink, and I’m sure we'll have plenty of time to talk later.”

Daniel puts a hand on my back, guiding me forward and into another room, which turns out to be the kitchen. He’s immediately drawn into a series of bro hugs and handshakes by Henry and some of his other friends.

“Lauren! I’m so glad you came!” I turn to find Claire by a table of beverages.

“Claire! So nice to see you, thank you for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming,” she says, pulling me into a quick hug. “I told Daniel he just had to bring you.”

I laugh. “He told me you were quite persistent— I usually have a low key New Year’s at home, but this is a fun change of pace.”

“Can I get you a drink?” She asks, already reaching for a bottle of champagne.

“Sure, thank you.” I catch Daniel’s eye across the room; he’s being clapped on the back and led out of the kitchen. I smile reassuringly, hoping to communicate that I’m fine here. He seems to understand, as he smiles back and nods before turning back to his friends.

Claire giggles, bringing my attention back to her.

“You look at him with such heart eyes, it’s cute.”

I try to keep my face from panicking. “Sorry?” She laughs like my reaction is the funniest thing in the world. “Oh don’t worry, he looks at you just the same, so you’re fine.”

I chuckle nervously. “I think maybe you’ve got the wrong impression—”

She shrugs like we’re talking about something commonplace, like the weather.

“Maybe, it’s possible... but I don’t think so. Now come! There’s some other girls I’d love for you to meet.”

—-

I spend a good portion of the night talking with Claire and her friends. They’re all very kind to me, but eventually I excuse myself to get some air out on the balcony.

I’m looking up at the sky — it’s dark, dotted with faint stars and a distant passing plane — when I hear somebody come out and join me. As they settle next to me against the railing I immediately know who it is just by how comfortable I feel.

“Whatcha doin out here, LaurLaur? The New Year’s only a few minutes away.”

I grin at him. “Just getting some air and admiring the stars. From up here you can actually see them.”

He hums, looking up with me.

“It reminds me of a certain piece of art a certain someone got me for Christmas.”

He chuckles. “I’m glad you like it so much.”

“It was very thoughtful…. I wonder if any of the stars are in the same places as they were that night.”

“Which night?”

“The night everything changed. Your birthday.”

Daniel leans against the railing facing me, and looks like he’s about to say something before he changes his mind.

Eventually he speaks again. “Things are going to change again soon, right? You said you’re sure about the break up?”

I swallow, scoffing my shoe against the balcony floor.

“I mean, we still need to figure it out, but you can’t keep fake dating me forever. That isn’t fair to you.”

He smiles wistfully. “It’s not like there was anyone else I was trying to date.”

“I’m a lucky girl,” I lament, and Daniel blushes and shakes his head. “It’s a real shame we’re over, though," I jest, trying to lighten the mood. "I’ve never gotten to kiss anyone at midnight.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise. “Never?”

“Nope,” I pop the p and look down at my feet.

“Well.” He clears his throat conspiratorially. “We can agree not to bring our fake relationship into the New Year if you want, but if the kiss starts before midnight, I think we’d get by on a technicality...”

I laugh. “You really want Eleanor to hate me, don’t you?”

He grins cheekily and shakes his head. “Nah, I think I saw her latched onto some other poor bugger inside. We’re in the clear.”

I roll my eyes, looking back up at the sky. I feel his finger trace my arm, gently using my elbow to turn my attention back towards him.

His voice is softer now, “It’s up to you, but there’s no one else I’d rather kiss at midnight.”

I look into his eyes and realize he’s being sincere. My heart’s beating out of my chest. Yes, I want to kiss him, but I want it to mean something. I keep giving in because I know one day this is all going to go away, and I’ll be left with just my memories and heartache.

He must see some hesitance in my eyes, because he’s taking a step back.

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine. Really.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “Not trying to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.”

I shake my head. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just…” I trail off, looking over the balcony, trying to swallow my feelings, which have manifested as anxious tears in my eyes. I feel a tear escape, and I hastily reach up to wipe it away.

“Hey,” Daniel says gently. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t.” I let out a watery laugh. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m…”

I feel his steady stare, and I come to terms with the fact that I’ve really gotten myself into a mess that I can’t just smooth over. I’m going to have to tell him.

I take a minute to compose myself, and Daniel stays quiet giving me time to put my words together as I look anywhere but at him.

“I do want to kiss you, D,” I start slowly, trying to keep my voice steady, “but I can’t if it’s just another part of our fake relationship.”

He tugs me closer by hand, gently, so I have no choice but to look at him. I swallow the lump in my throat. “I… know this wasn’t supposed to be real. But it has been, for me.”

He shakes his head and squeezes my hand. “So then stop trying to break up with me.”

I blink at him, and he continues.

“The night everything changed— your star map— I wasn’t referencing the story we told your family about my birthday.” Daniel looks at me long and hard like I’m missing something totally obvious. “It’s actually the stars from a night a month or so later.”

A month or two— Oh. OH.

“The night Ryan FaceTimed me?” I whisper, afraid to be wrong.

He takes my other hand in his, lacing our fingers together. “Listen— Fuck. I’m in love with you, Lauren.” He looks at me so intensely and my head is spinning. “I love you, and I’m in love with you.”

“What?” I ask dumbly.

He licks his lips. “A wise woman once said to me, you don’t confess to ‘kind of like someone’ when you’ve already been friends as long as we have.”

I stare at him for a second, my cheeks burning. “Well your friend sounds pretty smart.” I swallow. “Because I love you, too.”

He laughs, relief flooding his features. He pulls me to his chest, crushing me and squeezing the air out of my lungs. Eventually he pulls back, hands cupping my face.

He grins and shakes his head. “She is smart, so, so smart, but I don’t want to be her friend anymore.”

“What do you mean?” My brows furrow in confusion, worried that somehow I’ve misread this whole interaction, my relief quickly being replaced by panic.

“Well.” He steps forward, keeping our faces incredibly close. “I’m hoping she agrees to be my very real girlfriend— that is, if she doesn’t break up with me first.”

I hear everyone inside start the countdown to midnight. I’m still looking into Daniel’s eyes in disbelief, my hands clinging to the front of his shirt.

When the countdown hits one, I’ve finally found the words I want to say.

“Happy New Year, boyfriend.”

He’s grinning as he kisses me, and I am too. It’s not our most elegant kiss, a mess of teeth and giggles, and whispered “I love you”s. We never stray too far from each other’s lips, kissing again and again like we can’t get enough— and maybe we can’t.

Eventually, we calm down a bit, and when we kiss this time it’s all-consuming, sucking the air out of my lungs. It feels like my love is fizzling to the top of my skin, and I feel it. ‘It’ being every indescribable emotion in our kisses this past year, but this time I know what it is: true, unadulterated, uninhibited love. I am in love with my best friend, who is now my boyfriend, and I don’t care who knows it— as long as he does.

His fingers press bruisingly into my hips before he pulls back just enough to look at me.

“Can we go home?” He whispers sheepishly, brushing some hair out of my face tenderly. “I’m kind of tired of sharing you with the public.”

I huff a laugh. “I know exactly what you mean.” I lean forward to kiss him one last time before pulling back to lace our fingers together, squeezing tightly. “Please— take me home, D.”

I don’t have to tell him twice.

---

tagged: @rogershoe @heyrowena @yunsh-17 @trenko-heart @dylxnshxrmxn

#THE END!!!!#can you believe it?!#daniel sharman fluff #daniel sharman x oc #daniel sharman fanfiction #daniel sharman fanfic #daniel sharman fic #daniel sharman imagine #yellow lights

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ppangjae · 4 years

Text

DIE FOR YOU | Jaehyun

—You won’t find no one that’s better.

SUMMARY. Jaehyun swore to never fall in love again after five unrequited crushes. But when all of his best friends get married and leave him behind, he might just break his oath. He just hopes that this time around, it’s not another unrequited love because he’s tired of throwing up flower petals.

GENRE. fluff and angst + f2l!au + hanahaki disease

note. hanahaki disease is a fictional disease. it’s an illness that occurs due to an unrequited love. the person experiencing unrequited love will throw up petals of their crush’s favourite flower. once the person experiences requited love, the disease will disappear.

WORD COUNT. 20.5k+ words (someone PLEASE stop me)

—I think I’m right for you.

Being inexperienced in falling in love would be an understatement. It wasn’t a choice, it was more of a predisposition made by fate. You’re not quite sure what you had done wrong in your past life that caused fate to curse you with such a boring love life. But as you blow out the twenty-two candles on your birthday cake, it reminds you that this is your twenty-second year of existing and yet you still don’t have someone that makes your heart flutter or skip one beat. At this point, you’re ready to give up. In fact, you’ve envisioned a future where you’d be single for the rest of your life and the only thing that’ll give you company will be your three puppies. Three cute puppies, yep, that sounds just about right.

“Let me guess,” Jungwoo grins, “You wished for the miraculous improvement of your love life and possibly meeting the love of your life within the next two days.”

You let out a loud scoff. You’ve made the same wish for the past six years. Six years of making the same wish and it’s more than enough to give you the harsh reality that your wishes will never come true. Wishes never come true, if they do, they’re called miracles.

“Wrong,” you smirk. “I wished for something else this year.”

“Oh?” He quirks an eyebrow. “What did you wish for this time?”

Your smirk drops. “If I tell you, my wish won’t come true.”

“Your wishes never come true, what makes this wish different?” He snickers.

Jungwoo had a valid point. What makes this wish any different from all the wishes you’ve made? Since none of your wishes ever came true, what makes it any different that this wish will actually come true? Well, the difference this year is that the wish isn’t for you. The wish isn’t for your failing love life or for your defying fate. The wish is for your best friend Jaehyun.

You spot Jaehyun poking his slice of cake with a fork. A warm, soft smile begins to spread your lips at the sight of your best friend.

The closest feeling to falling in love that you’ve felt was surprisingly indirect heartbreak. You’ve never fallen in love, but you’ve watched Jaehyun fall in love five times. You’ve also watched Jaehyun’s heart break five times. Indirect heartbreak. Although you’ve never had an unrequited crush, you’ve seen Jaehyun experience it, and you can feel the pain—the heartbreak—that he goes through.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Jaehyun. You’re the only one that knows about all his unrequited crushes. You’re the only one that knows about his disease, the sickness he feels whenever he experiences an unrequited love. You’re the only one that knows about his oath; that he swears to never fall in love again. But you think he deserves so much more. He deserves the whole entire universe, along with its galaxies and stars.

And as his best friend, you gave up your birthday wish for him.

You wish that the next person he falls in love with will be the one and not another unrequited love.

“The cake is really sweet,” Jungwoo says as he reaches over to cut himself another slice. “Where did you get the cake?”

“Cha’s Cherry on Top,” you reply.

Jaehyun quirks an eyebrow. “Eunwoo made this?”

You smile while nodding your head. Jungwoo pulls out his phone and takes a picture of the cake along with the business card attached to the box.

“Eunwoo makes birthday cakes for you but not for me?” Jaehyun pouts. “So much for a best friend.”

“I guess that’s one of the many downsides of having a birthday on Valentine’s Day, Valentine boy.” Jungwoo teases. He receives a glare from Jaehyun in return.

You nod your head at Jungwoo’s phone. “You should really check out the bakery with Clara. You might be able to find the perfect wedding cake, discounted too!”

“Clara loves her discounts.” Jungwoo laughs. “At this point, anything helps.”

“It’s best to save more money for your baby,” you suggest. “She’s due in December, right?”

Jungwoo nods his head in reply. “Four months before our wedding.”

“Have you thought of names yet?” Jaehyun asks.

You and Jungwoo share a look that Jaehyun fails to notice. He’s too busy picking at his cake. Jungwoo clears his throat.

“We have but only names for a baby girl,” Jungwoo answers. “But we’ve been having trouble thinking of names for a baby boy. What do you have in mind, Jaehyun?”

You glance at your best friend. You bite your lip nervously. Jaehyun always wanted to start a family with the love of his life. But after experiencing five heartbreaks, it seems like he’s slowly changing his mind about his future.

“I’ve always wanted to name my son Yuno,” he confesses, finally scooping a forkful of cake and taking a small bite. “You should name your baby boy Yuno. I give you full permission. I’ll be his favourite uncle.”

Jungwoo’s face softens. “You’ll definitely be the favourite uncle, Jaehyun.”

The conversation ends at that. Jaehyun spends the rest of the day imagining how different his life would be if he just met the one. You spend the rest of your afternoon imagining how perfect of a father Jaehyun would be to his kids. That is, if Jaehyun decides to give love another try. You hope your birthday wish comes true. You hope Jaehyun finds the one.

Fate better get on with it.

Jaehyun experienced his first unrequited love at the sweet age of seventeen. It wasn’t the least bit pleasant. But she was so beautiful, she had a heart of gold, she was perfect. If he were to ever associate her with a colour, she’d be pink and yellow, just like the sight of pink and yellow peonies that he grew to hate because of her.

At the young age of seventeen, he learned to hate flowers. Flowers of every kind. He was diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease. The disease is only present whenever he experiences heartbreak from an unrequited love. When his feelings aren’t returned, it causes him to throw up petals of a flower. It could be any flower, but usually, it’s his unrequited lover’s favourite flower. It didn’t take him long to hate flowers no matter how beautiful they were because he never expected it to become a reminder of how far he was growing apart from the love of his life.

On the bright side, at the age of seventeen, he met you, his best friend. On the day he was rejected, he had mistakenly gone into the women’s washroom out of sheer panic and nervousness. The only thing on his mind at that moment was that he wasn’t feeling too great and he needed to throw up. You had entered the washroom a couple of minutes after, not expecting to see a guy throwing up pink and yellow peony petals in the toilet. It was a weird encounter, but that encounter soon became a secret only you and Jaehyun shared.

He’s been in love five times. He’s been heartbroken five times. But they all have hurt differently, especially his last relationship. He thought she was the one. He thought that she’d be the woman he’d spend the rest of his life with. He thought that she was his whole world. He thought she loved him the way he loved her. But she didn’t. At the same exact time, he didn’t expect to have a growing hatred for red roses.

“Are you feeling better?” He hears you ask as he coughs. He leans away from the toilet and flushes the rose petals. He presses his back against the wall and looks up at you.

“I’m tired,” he whispers. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. As you take a seat next to him, you rest your head on his shoulder. “I’m tired of this, of everything. Why am I still in love with her?”

“When you love someone so much, letting go hurts so much more.” You mumble. “One day, she won’t even cross your mind. You just need to give your heart some time to heal.”

“It’s been eleven months.” He coughs again and you can feel and hear the emptiness in his lungs. He lets out a bitter chuckle. “Who knew that loving someone could hurt this much? To the point where my body gives in? To the point where I get sick?”

“People come in and out of everyone’s lives. It’s a given. But you can’t stop someone from stepping out of your life.” You explain. “She chose to leave. She chose not to stay. But one day, someone will choose to stay. Someone will choose to love you.”

“Do you think there’s someone out there that’ll choose me?”

You look up at him. He has an uncertain smile spread across his lips. You frown and hit his arm. He lets out a loud groan.

“Of course!” You exclaim. “She’s out there! It’s not the end of the world, Jaehyun.”

He laughs. “How could you say that when you haven’t even been in love or in a relationship? Aren’t you getting impatient? I’m sure you have doubts about your love life.”

You shake your head. “I know he’s out there. I’m not impatient. I’m very patient. Fate will bring us together someday. You just have to be faithful.”

“I wish I was as patient as you.”

“What can I say? I’m an expert. I’ve been single for twenty-two years!”

You find yourself sitting on Jungwoo’s couch accompanied by Jaehyun at ten past eleven in the evening. Jungwoo’s rummaging through his mini fridge for beer and you and Jaehyun are watching a Spongebob Squarepants rerun.

There must be a reason as to why you and Jaehyun were dragged to Jungwoo’s small apartment out of sheer will. You were in the midst of cooking your dinner when Jungwoo showed up at your door. Oh how you wish you were at home right now, enjoying a tub of ice cream after having a scrumptious steak dinner.

Jungwoo’s not sure what to expect from this, but his heart nervously beats faster than the ticking of his clock hung up on the wall. He tries to sneak a glance at his two best friends behind the fridge door and lets out a sigh. After arguing with himself, he juggles the cold cans of beer in his arms and joins you in the living room. Right when he plops his butt onto the couch and places the cans of beer onto the coffee table, his eyes meet yours.

“Spill it, Jungwoo.”

“Drink some beer first—”

“There must be a reason why you dragged me out of the comfort of my own home—”

“So, this isn’t a hangout?” Jaehyun asks you. You nod and the room is silent. It’s so silent that you could hear Jungwoo gulp nervously. “Spill it, Jungwoo—”

“I hate being a burden to you guys but,” he begins before sighing frustratingly. “Clara and I are having trouble finding a perfect wedding planner. Since Clara is pregnant, the last thing I want her to do is stress out over our wedding.”

“We’ll help you find a wedding planner. You could’ve just asked.” Jaehyun chuckles before the dots start connecting in his head. He glances at you and you’re looking back at him with the same expression of realization.

“Wait. You want us to be your wedding planners—”

“Yes, please.” Jungwoo begs. “I’ll even pay you for your time and work!”

“No.” You and Jaehyun say in unison.

Jungwoo whines. “Do you not have some sort of sympathy for me, Jaehyun?”

“Nope.” He replies, pursing his lips into a tight line. His dimples show for a brief moment.

“Y/N?” Jungwoo looks at you with hope in his eyes.

You smirk. “Do I look like a wedding planner to you?”

“Well—”

“Then, no.” You cut him off while grabbing your can of beer from the coffee table. You take a sip of your beer and think about Jungwoo’s situation a second time. You tilt your head after much thought. “Actually, I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

Jaehyun looks at you as if you’ve gone insane. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Jungwoo’s going to pay us.” You shrug your shoulders. “All we have to do is just show up and pick and suggest what’s best for the wedding. It seems pretty simple.”

“You’re both our closest friends and we figured you knew us best. Thus, this would be a great idea.” Jungwoo convinces you.

“He has a point.” You tell Jaehyun. “I’m in. Cheers to securing the bag.”

Jaehyun stares at you and Jungwoo as you clink beer cans. Jungwoo takes a sip of his beer and turns towards Jaehyun to give him puppy eyes. Jaehyun avoids his gaze and focuses on the TV. The characters on the show are laughing and their laughter echoes through Jaehyun’s mind, taunting him, haunting him, urging him to accept the offer.

You watch the two with amusement and fold your arms. Jaehyun squints his eyes at Jungwoo and lets out a defeated sigh. There’s a fire that ignites in Jungwoo’s eyes.

“When do we start?”

Cha’s Cherry on Top is everything you imagined it to be. It’s a busy bake shop filled with dedicated workers that display distinct personalities. For instance, the cashier that greets the three of you as you step in exudes nothing but a bright and cheery aura. It’s evident from her polka-dotted apron and cherry earrings. Working away behind the countertop are pastry chefs sporting pink aprons and rosy cheeks. But amidst all the hustle and bustle of the shop, Cha Eunwoo can be easily spotted with the human eye.

In fact, he’s the first one you notice when you step into the shop. He’s frosting a freshly baked cake. You can’t help but swoon over how handsome the young pastry chef and owner is. It’s a shame that he’s off the market.

“My strawberry shortcakes are finally here!”

You snap out of your thoughts as Eunwoo brings you back to reality. He’s making his way towards the three of you.

“Did you enjoy your birthday cake?” Eunwoo asks you.

“It was delicious, thanks again.” You smile.

“I’m glad to hear that.” He chirps. “Jungwoo! Congratulations on your engagement!”

Jungwoo sheepishly smiles, feeling all shy from the sudden attention he’s receiving.

“The reason we dropped by was because—”

“You want me to create your wedding cake, don’t you?” Eunwoo grins. He throws his arm over your shoulder and you’re caught off guard.

Jaehyun stares at Eunwoo’s arm that’s thrown over your shoulder. He’s not sure when or how you got close with each other. He doesn’t remember Eunwoo having so much skinship with you.

“You came to the right place.” He flashes his pearly-white teeth as he smiles. His eyes form into beautiful crescents. “You’re lucky you’re good friends with Y/N. I always give discounts to her friends and family.”

You blow a kiss in Jungwoo’s direction. “Consider me your guardian angel, your one-way ticket to a perfect wedding. I’m expecting higher pay for this job, Jungwoo.”

Jaehyun nods his head at Eunwoo. “Do you have any samples prepared for us to taste?”

“Yep.” Eunwoo’s smile wipes off his face. “Hey, you didn’t show up to the group function for the third time! You didn’t even get a chance to taste the new chocolate croissants I baked!”

“At this rate, I’m going to get diabetes with all the cupcakes you bring to our hangouts.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes. “I’m sure Jungkook would be more than happy to take your treats instead.”

“Stop being a no-show at our hangouts and have fun for once. I swear you’re always cooped up in your apartment.” Eunwoo raises an eyebrow at him.

“I agree. Please take him out of the apartment for me. It’s so difficult. It’s not an easy one-man job.” You sigh, following Jungwoo to an empty booth.

Jaehyun and Eunwoo break out into smiles and follow suit. The four of you sit in one booth and one of the cashier employees drops by with the menu.

“Is there anything in particular that you have in mind? Ideas? Suggestions?”

“Clara has quite a sweet tooth. She really loves red velvet cakes.” Jungwoo starts off.

Eunwoo hums. “I guess we can start from there. I’ll bring some slices of different cakes and you can taste them, see if you like them, and then we can choose your top three.”

“Am I missing something between the two of you?” Jaehyun asks you once Eunwoo heads to the back of the kitchen to fetch several slices of different cakes.

You raise an eyebrow. “No?”

“You and Eunwoo seem oddly close. He told me that he has a new girlfriend.” He shrugs his shoulders.

Jungwoo kicks your foot underneath the table and you have to bite your lip to contain the painful yelp threatening to come out. You send him a death glare.

“We’re not dating.” You laugh and the serious look on his face surprises you. “Wait, did you think his new girlfriend was me?”

“If I didn’t know you or Eunwoo, I would’ve been convinced enough to think that the two of you were dating.” Jaehyun mumbles.

Jungwoo’s eyebrows raise and he turns to face you. You look at him questioningly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Didn’t Eunwoo have the biggest crush on you—”

“Here are the samples.”

Your mouths clamp shut when Eunwoo arrives with a tray filled with several slices of cake. You and Jaehyun meet eyes and he squints them at you.

“These are all the red velvet cakes we serve.” Eunwoo explains. Sitting on the table are a variety of red velvet cakes, it’s almost difficult to find a difference between each one.

“They all look the same.” Jaehyun chuckles.

“Shall we start cake tasting?”

Everyone glances at Jungwoo and he smiles sheepishly.

“Let’s dig in.”

As the three of you dig into the first slice of a red velvet cake, Jaehyun finds himself glancing at you as you take a bite. Unknowingly, you get some of the cream cheese icing on the side of your mouth. He feels a sudden urge to reach out and wipe it off for you. He decides not to, and instead, kicks your foot underneath the table. You jump in your seat, looking up and your eyes meet Jaehyun’s. He points at the corner of his mouth.

“You have icing,” he mumbles and your eyes slightly widen. You wipe the side of your mouth and he chuckles. You look quite endearing and adorable right now. “No, you missed it.”

“I did?” You pout, wiping your mouth again until Jaehyun gives up.

He reaches over from across the table and wipes the icing off the side of your mouth with his thumb. Your doe-eyes look into his. Did your heart just skip a beat? You’ve never felt your heart beat this fast. You’ve never seen Jaehyun up this close. His face is so close to yours that you could count his eyelashes.

“You could’ve just given her a napkin to wipe it off.”

The two of you tear away from each other like two repelling magnets. You look at Jungwoo, completely in a daze. His eyes dart between the two of you and a grin slowly spreads across his lips. Jaehyun, however, looks unbothered.

The cake tasting session takes up two hours of your afternoon and ends up with Jungwoo choosing three distinct red velvet cakes. The wedding cake will be a three-tier red velvet cake, with each tier being one of the three cakes Jungwoo chose, respectively. And just as Eunwoo promised, Jungwoo got a discount for the wedding cake.

The three of you are metres away from the bake shop when you hear your name being called out from behind. When you look over your shoulder, you find Eunwoo jogging up to you with a small cake box in his arms.

“Y/N!”

“Eunwoo, slow down before you fall on your face.”

He catches up to you and grabs your hands to place the small box onto them. You quirk an eyebrow.

“It’s for your mother. We made too many batches of strawberry shortcakes.”

You smile. “You really didn’t need to, but thanks.”

Jaehyun watches you beam at Eunwoo. He barely notices the unsettling feeling in his gut at the sight of the two of you. Jungwoo’s in the middle of answering a phone call.

“Today?” Jungwoo’s flustered. He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah—Well—we can probably make it on time, I guess. You’re open until six?”

Eunwoo bids a farewell and jogs back to his bake shop. Jaehyun looks at you suspiciously as you look back at him with a questioning look. Jungwoo clasps his hands together.

“I guess we’re making a trip to the flower shop. Their client booked for today cancelled last minute and offered to meet with us instead.”

You and Jaehyun share a look. Jaehyun has a growing hatred for flowers and going to the flower shop would be his biggest nightmare. Jaehyun looks nervous but he covers it up with a small smile.

“Let’s get going then. We wouldn’t want them waiting, right?” Jaehyun insists.

“What—Jaehyun—” He cuts you off with a look that tells you that he’ll be just fine. You frown, watching him follow Jungwoo to his car.

Jaehyun looks over his shoulder. “Are you coming or not?”

He doesn’t want to be here. Clearly. It’s evident through the intense staring contest he’s having with the shop’s lit up sign, Lina’s Blooming Flowers. This is his biggest fear and nightmare. Stepping foot inside the flower shop would be major character development for him. It’s similar to the feeling of stepping on the edge of a cliff and counting down before bungee jumping. Nervousness and anxiousness is etched all over his face.

For a brief moment, his nervousness fades away when he feels your hand being placed on his shoulder. You give his shoulder one reassuring squeeze. He glances at you and you give him an encouraging smile.

“We made it just in time with an hour to spare before their closing time!” Jungwoo says excitedly.

The last time Jaehyun stepped foot inside a flower shop was when he bought his mother flowers for Mother’s Day. At the time, he wasn’t aware of the disease he had. He vividly remembers the scent of fresh lavender and hyacinth. Back then, the fragrant smell of flowers brought him warmth and a sense of rebirth or renewal. Now, just a whiff of flowers makes him nauseous.

As the three of you enter the shop, you can hear Jaehyun let out a breath that he’s been holding in for heaven knows how long. Standing at the front desk is a woman around your age, wrapping a bouquet of flowers in plastic wrap. It’s an assortment of white and red roses. Red roses. It’s the flower that Jaehyun has grown to hate because they remind him of her. You feel yourself wince and shrivel up, trying to think of ways to distract Jaehyun from seeing the roses. But it’s too late when she catches everyone’s attention with a gasp of panic. Jaehyun stares at the bouquet of roses and feels his lungs start to clog up just at the sight of them. The florist is quickly finishing her job before approaching the three of you.

“Jungwoo, right?” She asks.

Jaehyun snaps out of his gaze and looks at the woman walking towards the three of you. His eyebrows raise.

“Yes! That’s me.”

“Great! Sorry for the wait,” she apologizes sheepishly. “I’m Lina, the florist of this shop.”

As she shakes each one of your hands, she extends her hand out to Jaehyun and he looks at her in complete daze. She giggles when Jaehyun is brought back to reality, finally shaking her hand. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and you don’t fail to notice how red Jaehyun’s ears are. This is the first time Jaehyun’s heart skipped a beat since his last breakup. He earns another nudge from you.

“Are you okay?” You mouth at him and he nods his head.

He’s surprised. It’s the first time he forgot about his hatred and fear for flowers, even if it was just for a brief moment.

And it’s all because of a beautiful florist.

“Let’s get started with the colour scheme.” Lina suggests, guiding everyone to the front desk. She pulls out a book filled with many colour schemes and hands it to Jungwoo. She smiles at you and says, “Is there anything you had in mind for your wedding?”

You break out into a chuckle. “Oh, no, I think you got it all wrong—I’m not, no—me? No. I’m not the fiancé. I’m just a—”

“She’s my wedding planner.” Jungwoo cuts you off and points at Jaehyun. “He’s my wedding planner too.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She exclaims. “I had no idea. It’s my fault for making such assumptions.”

You wave it off. “It’s alright. No worries.”

She laughs nervously. “Shall we continue choosing the colour scheme?”

Jungwoo’s busy skimming through the book and having a FaceTime call with his pregnant fiancé to pick the colour scheme together. Jaehyun’s eyes scan the shop, looking at all the different types of flowers. He spots the peonies placed in metal vases along with roses of different colours. He could probably run a flower shop himself if he fully overcame his hatred and fear of flowers, all because he knows every single kind of flower that exists.

It seems promising.

“Have you been here before?” He hears someone ask and he turns around. It’s Lina.

“Maybe once when I was younger.” He replies.

“Oh, I see.” She purses her lips into a tight line. “You look familiar. Did you come to the shop with your grandmother, perhaps? On Mother’s Day?”

His mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape. “Yes, I have.”

“No wonder!” She exclaims. “So you’re the little boy I wanted to befriend when I helped my mother run the shop.”

“So, we’ve met?” Jaehyun scratches the back of his neck and she nods vigorously.

He tries to dig through his memories to try and remember Lina. It takes a while until he squints his eyes at the familiar set freckles on her cheeks and her light brown eyes. He lets out a soft gasp.

“You’re the little girl I accidentally bumped into!”

“And you made me spill all the water from the watering can!”

Soft laughter can be heard from the front desk. It breaks your focus on helping Jungwoo with the colour scheme. You look over your shoulder to find Jaehyun laughing along with the florist, Lina. They seem to be very engaged in their conversation. Jaehyun looks… happy. There’s not a single wave of nervousness or anxiousness on his face or in his gestures. It makes a wide smile form on your lips.

But why do you feel a little bit left out? Why do you feel like you’re missing out? Why do you feel slightly jealous that someone else is putting a smile on Jaehyun’s face? Is it wrong to feel jealous?

“Y/N.”

Your head snaps in Jungwoo’s direction and he looks at you with concern. You barely realize that your eyebrows were furrowed the entire time until you feel your face soften. “Yeah?”

“Everything alright?” He asks. “I asked you the same question four times and you didn’t answer.”

“O-Oh, were you? Sorry, I was just—what were you saying?”

It was a huge relief for Jungwoo and Clara when they realized that they didn’t need to hire a photographer. It just so happened that you, their wedding planner slash best friend, has a huge knack for photography. Thus, the engaged couple will not need to worry about the expenses.

“This is sick.” Jaehyun utters out when Jungwoo pulls up to the photo shooting location.

You look out the window. Jungwoo and Clara decided to have their prenuptial photos taken at a location where they had their first date. It’s extremely romantic. They had their first date out on a large field of sunflowers. Sunflowers are scattered across the field, along with some grass patches where couples and families would have a small picnic.

The first thing you notice is how Jaehyun pays no mind to the sunflowers ahead of him. He’s looking at them with his two eyes and not a single reaction is coming out of him. That is, until he breaks out into a smile.

You tilt your head in confusion. Huh?

Jaehyun’s taking some photos on his phone. “I should send these to Lina. I think she’ll love it.”

You raise an eyebrow. You grin. “You seem to be getting very close with Lina.”

He blushes. “We are. I actually asked her to hang out with me this Friday.”

“Look at you!” You exclaim with a teasing grin. “Since when were you picking up girls without telling me?”

“I was going to tell you today.” He laughs and it dies down when he thinks of something. “You know, I have a great feeling that she may be the one.”

The one? Your smile slightly falters. Of the five times that Jaehyun told you that the woman he has fallen in love with could be the one, you’ve always been extremely happy and supportive. But why was it that this time around, you didn’t feel as happy?

“Let’s get started with the shoot! I found the perfect place!” Clara says.

“R-Right!” You exclaim, grabbing Jaehyun’s arm. The two of you jog to catch up with the engaged couple.

As you reach the spot, Jungwoo and Clara do some quick fix ups on each other. You’re busy setting up the equipment and Jaehyun’s in the midst of having a phone call with Lina. Every now and then, you find yourself trying to sneak a glance at Jaehyun, only to see him smiling so wide that his dimples were showing.

Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in your lungs. Your tripod collapses onto the grass as you gasp for some air. Clara notices and immediately rushes over to you. You’re still trying to catch your breath. You feel as if you’ve run a marathon. Your breathing is low and deep. Your throat feels like it’s on fire.

“Y/N?” You hear Jaehyun ask as he heads towards you. “Everything alright? What happened?”

Clara is handing you a bottle of water. You pry the cap open and chug half of the bottle down. You gasp for air and start a small coughing fit. “Do I need to call an ambulance? Y/N, you’re getting pale. Have you been feeling unwell since this morning?”

Your legs feel like jello and they give out, sending you to the grass. You clench your eyes shut and you could barely answer their concerns. It takes you a couple of minutes to get back to normal.

“Y/N, look at me.”

Clara is forcing you to face her when she cups your cheeks with her hands. Jungwoo is in complete shock, not saying a single word. Jaehyun looks extremely concerned for you.

“I’m okay. I think it’s because I skipped breakfast this morning.” You say as you finally catch your breath.

The pain in your lungs goes away instantly. You’ve finally gained power to stand up again. You’re not sure what happened to you because you’ve never experienced this in your life.

“Are you sure? It didn’t look like it.” Jungwoo bites his lip nervously.

“I’ll be fine.” You reassure them. “Let’s get on with the shoot.”

After five minutes of them protesting you to go home and get rested, they finally give in to your stubbornness and decide to finish up the photoshoot.

The photos come out beautifully. There are photos of Jungwoo and Clara running through the field of sunflowers. There are single shots of Clara caressing her baby bump with one hand and holding a sunflower in the other. There are solo shots of Jungwoo hiding behind sunflowers and popping out from behind it.

“You should really start a photography business.”

You look over your shoulder to see Clara. She’s looking at the photos you’ve taken through the viewfinder.

“Should I?” You ask and she nods.

“You’re very talented, Y/N. I know a couple of photographers who run their own businesses. I could hook you up.” She winks at you.

“I don’t know, I have a lot of things I want to accomplish.” You say, feeling unsure.

“You should give it a try. You never know what the future has in store for you.”

“He said he’ll be running late.”

You tell Jungwoo as you catch up to him. The three of you were supposed to go venue-hunting for reception. However, ever since the three of you visited the flower shop, Jaehyun had started to bail out on the wedding plans. You couldn’t blame him, he probably needed time off to himself after spending a whole afternoon with flowers. But what threw you off was the sound of feminine laughter when he had called you to notify that he’d be running late.

“Late?” You nod. “Weird.”

“It’s alright. We can do it without him.” You reassure the soon-to-be groom.

The two of you arrive at the first venue. It’s a reception hall for roughly a thousand guests. It’s huge and spacious. Your eyes scan through the venue and you immediately spot the huge chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. You frown.

“I don’t think Clara will like it,” you say as you point up at the chandeliers. “Doesn’t she hate grand decorations like chandeliers?”

Jungwoo hums in agreement. “Shall we get going to the next venue?”

You nod and head towards the owner of the reception hall. You fake a smile.

“We’ll get back to you if we’re interested in renting out the space.” You insist and the owner agrees. “Thank you for your time.”

The second venue is everything it promised to be. You stare at the venue in awe. If you were to ever get married, this was the venue you’d choose. It’s a venue where modern meets boho. Instead of chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, there are potted plants and flowers with fairy lights wrapped around them. The chairs are wooden and the tables are long enough for roughly ten guests. On both sides of the room, there are large windows overlooking a field of flowers.

“Clara would love this venue,” Jungwoo says in awe.

You nod in agreement. “I think so too.”

You hear the owner greet customers and you turn around to see Jaehyun arriving with… Lina? You and Jungwoo share a look.

“Sorry for running late,” Jaehyun apologizes.

Lina smiles sheepishly. “I’m so sorry for tagging along. I hope it’s alright with you, Jungwoo.”

Jungwoo lets out an uneasy chuckle. “Yeah, no worries. You are the florist for our wedding, how can I say no to you?”

The owner approaches the four of you. “I’m assuming the two of you are also looking for a venue for your wedding?”

Jaehyun and Lina stare at each other before blushing. You feel your eyes squint in suspicion. Jungwoo feels confused. Since when were these two close? Did something happen between the two of them?

“We’re not getting married.” Lina shakes her head. “We’re just friends, right, Jaehyun?”

“Yeah, we’re just best friends.” Jaehyun tells the owner.

You stop yourself from scoffing. Best friends? Since when were they best friends? They clearly just met a couple of days ago and now they’ve upgraded to best friends from being strangers?

Jungwoo nudges you. You snap out of it. “Let’s just keep this venue on the list and move onto the last one, alright?”

Why are you looking into it too much?

“S-Sure.” You mutter.

You never consider yourself hot-headed. But this is the first time you’ve ever felt your blood boil and your blood pressure shoot up. Jungwoo hops into the driver’s seat. You decide to sit in the front passenger’s seat, looking at the rearview mirror to see Jaehyun and Lina hop in the back. They’re sitting awfully close to each other, with their shoulders brushing. You huff out a breath, looking away and distracting yourself with the clouds in the sky.

Jungwoo tears his gaze from the road and glances at you. A soft smile spreads across his lips when he sees you mumbling to yourself. To you, you don’t think it’s obvious. But to Jungwoo, he can see how jealous you are over the two lovebirds sitting in the back of his car. He looks in his rearview mirror to see Jaehyun holding Lina’s hand.

He sighs.

“Today’s going to be a long day.”

“Of all the times Jaehyun bails out, he decides to bail out on the suit fitting too?”

Jungwoo’s standing in front of the mirror, fixing his tie. One of the tailors, Jungkook, who’s a close friend of Jaehyun’s, is standing right behind him with a rack filled with other suits. You sigh, shrugging your shoulders. There’s nothing much you could do. You could scold Jaehyun for being such a slacker, but you decide not to.

“The grey looks great on you,” Jungkook compliments Jungwoo. “I’m wearing a grey suit to my wedding too.”

“You’re getting married?” You blurt out and Jungkook chuckles.

“I’m surprised you haven’t gotten your invitation yet.” He mumbles. “It should be coming in the mail in the next couple of days. My fiance and I just mailed them out last Friday.”

“I got my invitation.” Jungwoo adds. “I guess we’re all getting quite old since I’m attending weddings left and right.”

Jungkook smirks. “I bet Jaehyun’s going to be next.”

Your ears perk up in curiosity. Jungwoo looks at you through the reflection in the mirror. As he studies your reaction, Jungkook helps button up the ends of his sleeves.

“Jaehyun?” You ask.

“Yeah, at the rate, him and that florist will end up together.” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders.

You frown but you try to cover it up with a smile. “Cute.”

“They’ve been hanging out a lot recently,” he adds, fixing up Jungwoo’s collar. He dusts off his shoulders and turns back around to look at Jungwoo’s reflection in the mirror. “I think the reason why he bailed out on you guys today is because they’re going to an amusement park.”

Jungwoo furrows his eyebrows. “He bailed out on this for a day at the amusement park?”

“Don’t tell him I told you.” Jungkook warns him. “If he ever finds out, he’ll have me dead.”

Jungwoo glances at you and you try to avoid fuming in anger. Who would’ve thought that Jaehyun would choose a woman he barely knows, over his own best friend who’s getting married in a couple of months? There’s disappointment written all over Jungwoo’s face and it fails to remain hidden. Jungkook, on the other hand, feels like he has just ruined the entire atmosphere and decides to give Jungwoo a discount on his suit in compensation.

As Jungwoo’s paying for his suit, you’re scrolling through your social networking account and right when Jungkook’s cashier machine lets out a soft ‘ding!’, you find Jaehyun’s new post.

And indeed, it’s a picture of him and Lina at the amusement park.

Why do you feel sad? Why do you wish that it was you instead of her? Why do you always feel like you’re missing out whenever he’s with her? Why is he spending more time with her and less time with you?

Why do you feel this way?

You’ll never know.

Clara looks stunning in her wedding dress. You stare at her in awe as the tailor is zipping up the dress for her. Her baby bump is starting to show underneath her dress. You’re too distracted by her beauty to notice that Jaehyun and Lina are entering into the shop.

Clara’s gaze tears away from you as she spots Jaehyun and Lina. She furrows her eyebrows in confusion. “Jaehyun, you came?”

Jaehyun nods. “Jungwoo told me to accompany you. You know him, he believes in that stupid superstition.”

She waves at Lina. “I’m guessing you’re Lina?”

“Yes, you guessed right.” Lina giggles and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. It’s probably a mannerism of hers whenever the attention is on her, you note.

“How do you like the dress, ma’am?” The tailor asks the bride-to-be.

“It’s nice, I think I might take this one. I’m not really particular with the dress.” She replies and an idea pops into her head. “Do you perhaps have any bridesmaid dresses ready for fitting?”

“Yes, we do. Do you want to start with the fitting for the bridesmaids?” The tailor questions.

“Yes. I want my maid of honour to pick out a dress—”

“Clara,” you look at her with surprise. “I literally just ate a hamburger, I feel bloated—”

“Stop overreacting and put a dress on. You look fine. You look beautiful.” She cuts you off. “Besides, we’re already here.”

“Fine.” You sigh with defeat, following the tailor into the back of the shop to pick out some dresses.

The dresses come in different colours. The couple plan on having the plain grey and white colour scheme. Your eyes scan the selection before you point out at two different dresses. The tailor looks at you and flashes a smile.

“You have a great eye for dresses, ma’am.” She compliments you and you chuckle.

“I guess being a wedding planner was a good idea.” You muse.

The first dress you put on is an elegant dress that reaches the floor. It’s strapless and has a long slit on the side, revealing your leg. As you look at yourself in the mirror, you bite your lip. You’ve never seen yourself dressed up like this.

“Let me see!” Clara exclaims.

As you walk out of the fitting room, your eyes meet Clara’s. She looks at you like she sees a ghost. You begin to panic.

“What? It looks bad?” You frown.

“No, you look,” she begins. “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

“T-Thanks?” You let out an uneasy laugh.

“You really look beautiful, Y/N.” Lina adds and you’re not sure what to say.

You look at Jaehyun, who’s too busy texting someone on his phone. He remains unbothered and uninterested. Somehow, you have the urge to make him look at you.

“Shall we try on the next dress?”

You snap out of your thoughts, looking at the tailor. “Sure.”

As you’re putting on the second dress, the tailor is helping you zip up at the back. The dress is a mermaid dress. It shows your curves at your hips and while the dress is off-shoulder, it reveals your collarbones, perfect for stacking necklaces.

“How do I look?” You ask as you step out of the fitting room.

Jaehyun looks up from his phone when he hears Lina and Clara let out a gasp. The moment his eyes are on you, his eyebrows raise. You look stunning, it’s almost effortless. Your hair is put up in a messy low bun with strands of your hair framing your face. The last time he saw you dressed up like this was prom night. Time slows down for him and it feels like it’s just the two of you in the room. You’re laughing over a joke Clara probably said, but he finds himself getting lost in a trance by your beauty.

“Jaehyun?”

He snaps out of his trance to see Lina nudging him. He glances at her and she points at one of the dresses hung up on the rack. “Hm?”

“I was just telling you how that dress could look so beautiful on Y/N. What do you think?” Lina asks.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, I think the dress she has on is the one.”

“Really?” He hears you say. Both of your eyes meet.

He slowly nods his head, almost falling into another trance.

“It looks perfect.”

May 2nd.

“I tried creating your wedding cake yesterday and this is how it turned out.”

You’re too busy looking out the window. The cherry blossoms have finally bloomed and there’s a plethora of couples out on dates. Eunwoo and Jungwoo’s chatter is drowned out by your thoughts and the sight of a young couple taking a selfie in front of a cherry blossom tree. There’s a small smile on your lips but it drops from your face when you’re reminded of Jaehyun.

“Y/N?”

You slowly turn around. Eunwoo is asking you to join them in the kitchen. You push yourself off the window sill to join them.

Jungwoo frowns. “Where’s Jaehyun? Did he bail out on us again?”

You nod. “Unfortunately. He said he wanted to take a day off from the planning.”

He scoffs. “A day off? There was never a day where he was with us.”

The three of you are cutting yourselves a slice of the wedding cake. Eunwoo can’t help but notice how quiet you’ve been since you entered the bakery shop. Your mind is flooded with thoughts that you can’t seem to explain or describe. They’re thoughts only you can understand.

Eunwoo gets a phone call. “Excuse me, I have to take a phone call. Please go ahead and taste the cake.”

Eunwoo leaves the two of you in the back kitchen with a three-tier wedding cake. You’re poking your slice of cake with a fork and Jungwoo nudges you.

“Is everything alright? You’ve been quiet all morning.”

You smile. “I’m alright. I guess I’m just a bit tired.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

You sigh. “Is it that obvious?”

“Very obvious,” he mumbles and tilts his head. “Did anything bad happen between you and Jaehyun?”

“What? No.” You answer. “Why? Does it look like it?”

Lately, Jungwoo’s been noticing a lot of things. He’s been noticing how whiny and angry you get whenever Jaehyun bails out on the two of you. He’s seen the longing stares you have whenever Jaehyun is around. He sees how nervous you get whenever you’re around Jaehyun because of the ridiculous amount of times you’ve fiddled with your fingers. You’re jealous and you don’t even know it.

He sees himself in you. The last time he’s been like this was when he first fell in love with his fiance.

“Y/N, can I ask you something?”

“Jungwoo, I need your help.”

The both of you look at each other and laugh. He takes a bite of his cake. “Oh, this is delicious! Anyways, you go first.”

“How do you know if you’re in love with someone?”

He chokes on his cake. You pat his back and offer him a glass of water. “Sorry, repeat that for me.”

“How do you know if you’re in love with someone?” You ask again. “I’ve never been in love before, so I figured you would be the perfect person to ask.”

“It depends.” He starts off explaining.

“How so?” You mumble.

“It’s different for every person. When I fell in love with Clara, I always felt happy around her. I’d always find myself putting in more effort. I’d find myself thinking about her even though I shouldn’t be, I’d wonder if she had eaten her meals, if she’s getting enough sleep. But I knew that I was falling in love with her when she started liking someone else. I figured that I would shoot my shot whether she liked me or not because I felt that I owed it to myself.”

You smile. “And all this time, she was in love with you.”

He nods his head with a warm smile. He wiggles his eyebrows. “Have you been feeling that way?”

You’ve always felt happy around Jaehyun. You and Jaehyun are like two peas in a pod. You’re both stuck together like glue. He makes you a better person everyday. You can’t imagine your life without him.

You’ve always been putting in more effort. When Jaehyun got his heart broken five times, you’ve always been there. You chose to stay.

Lately, Jaehyun has been on your mind more than usual. Ever since he started bailing out on helping Jungwoo plan his wedding, you’ve been wondering if he’s doing alright or if there’s anything wrong. Ever since he started hanging out with Lina, you’ve been wondering if she’s been treating him out for his favourite ice cream or if he’s been eating his meals with her. Sometimes, Jaehyun would make you worry and all it took for those worries to go away was one phone call or text from him.

But maybe you’re falling in love with Jaehyun. Ever since he started showing interest in Lina, it was slowly starting to make you realize that you too, have feelings and you too, can fall in love. You’ve been comparing yourself to Lina. You’ve been craving to hold Jaehyun’s hand. Whenever he smiles at you, it’s like the whole world stops and you’re not sure how to act. You feel shy around him, which is unusual for you. You’re never shy around your best friend.

But I knew that I was falling in love with her when she started liking someone else.

“Holy shit.”

You’re in love with Jaehyun. You’ve been in denial about your feelings for him this entire time. You’re in love with your best friend, Jaehyun.

“Language!” Jungwoo scolds you.

I figured that I would shoot my shot whether she liked me or not because I felt that I owed it to myself.

“I have to go.”

Jungwoo watches you scramble for your things. You’re in a rush. As you leave the kitchen, Jungwoo can’t help but smile. He knows. He knows that you’re in love with Jaehyun. You don’t need to tell him because he sees it.

“I’m just a couple blocks down from the cafe, the driver can park in front of the bakery—Y/N?”

“I have to go! Let me know how it goes!”

Eunwoo looks at you bewilderedly as you wave at him. You’re running down the street with your purse barely slung over your shoulder. He tilts his head in confusion.

“Where is she going?”

Jungwoo steps out of the bakery and places his hand on Eunwoo’s shoulder.

“She’s going to shoot her shot.”

As you reach the bus stop, you see a bus loading on passengers. You let out a groan and sprint to the bus, hoping to get on it. Fortunately, you hopped onto the bus, completely out of breath. Pulling out your phone, you dial Jaehyun’s phone number.

“Hello? Y/N?” You hear Jaehyun’s voice after a couple of rings.

“Jaehyun!” You greet him. “Where are you? I need to tell you something.”

“Perfect timing! I have something to tell you too.”

“Let’s meet at the pier, where the cherry blossoms bloomed.” You suggest and you can hear him smile on the other line.

“Perfect. I’m almost there. I’ll see you!” He chuckles.

“I’ll see you.”

A couple of minutes pass and you look out the window to see cherry blossom trees. The bus halts to a stop and you rush out, walking fast in search of your best friend. It’s a difficult search because there are too many couples roaming the pier. Just as you’re about to give up and call Jaehyun—

“Y/N!”

You look to your right to see Jaehyun jogging towards you. As the two of you meet halfway, you timidly wave at him. He looks so beautiful with the cherry blossoms behind him. You find yourself staring in awe.

“What was it that you needed to tell me?” You both ask in unison.

“You go first.” You insist.

“Are you sure?” You laugh, playfully hitting his arm.

“Go first.”

He bites his lip, a smile threatening to spread across his lips. He looks nervous. His dimples are showing. His ears are extremely red. You feel your heart skip a beat too many. Your heart is beating so fast that you’re afraid he can hear it.

“I asked Lina to be my girlfriend and she said yes!”

Your smile threatens to fade away. But you don’t even dare let it fall off your face, no matter how shattered your heart is. It’s fascinating how Jaehyun can make your heart beat faster than normal and shatter it into pieces in one day. You’re not sure if you’re happy for him or sad that you just got rejected.

“O-Oh! That’s—That’s great! Con—Congratulations!”

Jaehyun notices that your eyes are glassy. He pays no attention to it when you pull him into a tight embrace. You rest your head on his shoulder, blinking away the tears threatening to form in your eyes. He pulls away from the hug.

“What did you want to tell me?”

You look up at him. “Oh. It’s nothing. It’s not that important anymore—”

“What? No, you’re lying—”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about starting a photography business. Clara managed to convince me. She might help run it with me.” You tell a white lie.

“Really?! I’m so proud of you!” He exclaims and pulls you back into another hug.

You find yourself hugging Jaehyun tighter. It might be because this may be the last time you could hug him. He belongs to someone else now. Your chance is gone. You wish you could blame yourself for being a little too late, but you’re too busy drowning in your sadness.

A little too late.

Just a little.

And you hate being late.

That night, you find yourself sitting in your bathroom. Hugging your knees to your chest, you let out a soft sob. The fear and vulnerability you feel is that of like a huge bucket of ice cold water being poured on you. Scattered around the bathroom floor are cherry blossom petals. You glance at your camera that’s still turned on, with a candid photo of Jaehyun focused on the viewfinder.

Everything was starting to make sense.

From your nauseous episodes to your shortness of breath, it led up to this. Everything feels numb. All you can remember is Jaehyun’s dimply smile and the beautiful cherry blossom trees behind him. You never thought it would come to this.

In the toilet are cherry blossom petals. You manage to gather yourself and you slowly get up to flush the toilet. You watch all the cherry blossom petals go down the toilet.

Jaehyun loves cherry blossoms.

The more you stare at the cherry blossom petals that you’ve thrown up, the more you start to hate them. You’re starting to hate them because it reminds you of your heartbreak, it’s a sign of rejection, and it tells you one thing; Jaehyun’s not in love with you.

“The invitations came out beautifully!”

You tell Jungwoo who lets out a soft chuckle as you’re showing him your invitation that you had just gotten from your mailbox. He flashes two thumbs up through your laptop screen. Behind him, you spot Clara taking pictures of their newly renovated baby room.

“Have you heard from Jaehyun, lately? I haven’t seen him since we all met up to finalize the invitations.”

You ponder on whether you should pretend to have mistakenly hung up on the video call, but you know that Jungwoo wouldn’t buy such a lie. You gnaw on your lip, thinking of an answer to tell him.

You give up. You shake your head. “I’m sure he’s busy with Lina. They’re dating now.”

“What?” Clara yells, disregarding her photo taking session to join in the conversation. You chuckle lightheartedly. Jungwoo furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “He has a girlfriend now? And it’s not you?”

“Did you want it to be me?”

“Uh, yes?” Clara answers. She frowns. “Is that why you’ve been looking down lately?”

“Have I?” The couple share a look and nod in reply. It’s true. You’ve been feeling down because of the heartbreak, but you can’t help it. You’ve learned that when you fall in love with someone, you fall hard. However, you’re never ready for the heartbreak.

“Your crush on Jaehyun is quite obvious, Y/N.” Jungwoo points out. “It just took you longer to realize it.”

“I’m happy for him,” you muster up a smile. “This just means that it isn��t meant to be.”

You’re not meant to be together. You know it from the cherry blossoms that you flush down the toilet. You know it from the sharp pain in your lungs and the breathing attack you have because of it. You know it from how distant Jaehyun has been. You know it because of her.

You won’t ever blame it on her because you have come to the conclusion that you’re not meant for Jaehyun. The cherry blossoms are a sign for you to move on.

“Well, I think you and Jaehyun are perfect for each other.” Clara attempts at convincing you but you barely buy it. “You guys are like two peas in a pod. I can’t see one of you without the other.”

You flash a small smile. Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes and you know that the couple can see how fake your smile is through their laptop screen.

“He has Lina now. I think that’s what matters. He doesn’t need me anymore.”

“Are you even listening to yourself—”

There’s a knock at the door, interrupting your conversation. You’re not expecting any guests at the hour and you don’t have any packages arriving until tomorrow. As you excuse yourself, you shuffle towards the door to look through the peephole. Standing on the other side of the door is a tall guy, holding up a box in front of his face. You giggle.

“Cha Eunwoo! What are you doing here?”

He moves the box away from his face and beams at you.

“I decided to pay you a visit! It’s been quite a while since I’ve come over, huh?”

“It feels quite odd having you over.”

Eunwoo quirks an eyebrow. He’s cutting two slices of chocolate cake, one for you and the other for him. Standing right next to him, you pour two glasses of wine for the both of you.

“What do you mean?” He laughs.

“You never come over.” You shrug your shoulders. “When you do come over, it’s usually because you’re having girl problems.”

He scoffs. “I do not have girl problems—”

“You do.” You cut him off, looking up at him with a grin. He squints his eyes at you.

“Now you make it seem like I have this huge issue when it comes to girls and my dating life—”

You stifle a giggle. “But it’s true, though.”

He frowns. “Is it really?”

You nod your head. “Sadly.”

The coffee table is set up lazily with Eunwoo’s cake that he had made for the two of you, along with a bottle of wine that you’ve barely touched since receiving it as a birthday gift. A movie is playing softly in the background as you and Eunwoo catch up with each other’s lives.

“Have you seen Jaehyun, lately?”

“No. I figured he’d be busy helping out with Jungwoo’s wedding.” Eunwoo replies. “Is he not helping out?”

“Ever since he started dating Lina, he hasn’t been showing up. It’s only been me helping Jungwoo plan out his wedding.” You explain.

“He’s dating? Since when?”

“Not sure. I haven’t seen him.” You swirl your wine in your glass before taking a huge sip.

“Shouldn’t you know? I mean, you’re his best friend, his partner in crime. If there was someone who knew him most, it would be you.” He takes a bite of his slice of cake.

“Surprise?” You chuckle. “I don’t know anything about his current relationship. Sorry to disappoint.”

You start to feel slightly dizzy. You’re not sure if it’s the wine or if you’re experiencing the same symptoms. Within a couple of minutes, your head starts to pound. Eunwoo takes notice of how quiet you’ve gotten, staring at you to make sure everything is alright. You grab your forehead, eyebrows knitting together as your head continues to pound. You feel weak. Seconds later, your lungs start to tighten and your breathing slows down.

“Y/N. Are you alright?” He asks.

You try to look up at him but your head feels heavy. You nod your head but he doesn’t believe it.

“Excuse me,” you whisper as you struggle to get onto your feet.

The symptoms are showing up again. You’re stumbling on your way to the bathroom. Your lungs feel full, causing you to have trouble breathing. As soon as you reach your bathroom, you bend over the toilet.

You spend fifteen minutes throwing up cherry blossom petals into the toilet. You’ve been too distracted by your condition to notice that you’ve left the bathroom door open. Eunwoo rushes over to the bathroom and stops in his tracks.

His eyebrows raise in surprise. What he sees in front of him is all too familiar. Scattered around the floor are petals of a cherry blossom. His eyes travel towards you. You’re bent over the toilet, throwing up petals. He feels his blood run cold.

“Y/N.”

You cough, sighing with relief. Your lungs finally empty out again. Your headache vanishes. As you lean your restless figure against the wall, you look up to see Eunwoo standing at the doorway. He’s just as surprised as you are.

He gestures at the petals. “They look… beautiful.”

You fake a smile.

“But Y/N, my mother went through the same thing.” He confesses. “This all reminds me of her. Instead of the cherry blossoms, she had stargazer lilies.”

“Those must’ve been beautiful,” you mumble.

He takes a seat next to you. “Who would’ve thought that something so precious, so beautiful, would end up looking like this?”

You fiddle with your fingers. “Eunwoo, can you promise me something?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t tell anyone about this. Not even Jaehyun.” You beg. “He can’t find out.”

The dots were connecting in his head. If you didn’t want Jaehyun to find out about this, this only meant one thing.

“This is all because of Jaehyun?” His eyes round in shock and you slowly nod your head. He picks up a petal from the floor and analyzes it.

“Promise me, Eunwoo. Please.”

He tears his gaze from the petal to look at you. Your eyes are filled with sadness.

“I promise, only if you promise to do something in return.” He insists.

“What do you want me to do?”

He places his hand on top of yours. “Please get yourself checked. I’m afraid you have the same condition as my mother.”

You nod.

“I promise.”

Later that night, Eunwoo helps you book an appointment with a doctor at the local hospital. You can’t help but appreciate the effort Eunwoo has been giving. During the times where you have been going through a lot, you would have expected Jaehyun to be there for you, just like how you were there for him. But t times where you needed Jaehyun the most, he was nowhere to be found. Instead, Eunwoo has been the one who stuck around.

You can’t help but think that being apart from Jaehyun may be nothing but for the better.

The first thing you do once you step out of the Doctor’s office is let out the longest, tiring sigh. The next thing you do is stare at a short list of prescribed medications. You let out yet another tiring sigh. Falling in love should be a paid job if it’s getting you all worked up for heartbreak.

“Y/N?”

It takes you a couple of seconds to realize that your name is being called. The soft voice calling out your name snaps you out of your trance. Standing a couple of metres away is Clara, who looks surprised to see you in the hospital. She looks at the small Doctor’s note with your medications in your hand and slowly looks up at you. Behind you, she reads the sign on your Doctor’s office door. Disease Specialist. When your eyes meet, her gaze transforms from curiosity to concern.

“C-Clara, hey.” You let out a shaky laugh. “What brings you here? Check up? Ultrasound?”

“I’d like to ask you the same thing, what brings you here?” She replies.

You scratch your neck nervously. “Nothing major. Do you have a ride going home? Is Jungwoo picking you up?”

She nods her head. “You can come with us. We’ll drop you off—”

“I’ll be alright—”

“Y/N, I want you to remember that you can trust me. We’re like sisters, remember?” She says and it’s all that it takes for your eyes to flood with tears.

“Y-Yeah, like sisters.” You stutter. Your voice cracks and you cover it up with a cough. “I’ll explain everything when we get in the car.”

You don’t explain everything when you get in the car. Instead, the car ride is silent. You find it difficult to bring it up. Jungwoo looks at you through his rearview mirror and he feels Clara tightly squeeze his hand. He glances at her and she gives him a look of doubt.

“S-So,” Jungwoo starts off a conversation. You look away from the scenery of cars driving on the highway outside the window. He smiles at you through his rearview mirror. “The weather’s been really nice today, huh?”

You snort. This is the first time you’ve laughed since last night. In fact, you did not sleep well last night because of the nervousness you were feeling. It’s been a couple of weeks since Eunwoo referred you to a disease specialist when he encountered you and the cherry blossom petals filling up your lungs. But even after the appointment, you still feel nervous.

“After today’s ultrasound, it’s safe to say that I’m not expecting twins.” Clara sighs with relief. “Imagine how painful delivering two babies in one go would be. Can’t relate.”

The couple continues to talk about the baby and you’re not sure when you can start telling them. You can sense that they’re trying to make you feel better just so that you can feel more comfortable telling them. When their conversation dies down and as Jungwoo turns right into your neighbourhood, you decide to drop the bomb.

“I have an illness.”

Jungwoo slams on the brakes and Clara scolds him.

“Hanahaki Disease,” you mumble, chuckling bitterly. “Have you heard of it?”

“Y/N…” Clara trails off. She doesn’t believe you. You? Of all people, why did it have to be you?

“It started when Jaehyun started dating Lina,” you explain. “The breathing attacks, the shortness of breath, the cherry blossom petals. It all led up to this.”

Jungwoo frowns. “Is that what I saw? Those petals lying around on your bathroom floor?”

You nod. There are tears streaming down your cheeks and you wipe them away, one by one. Clara grabs some tissues and hands them over to you. Jungwoo has no words to say.

“All I wanted to do was find love.” You whisper. “But look where it got me. Whenever I see those stupid petals, I feel like this is all wrong, like falling in love is wrong.”

“Falling in love isn’t wrong. It shouldn’t feel wrong.” Clara reassures you. “Whatever feelings you have for Jaehyun, those feelings aren’t wrong and shouldn’t be.”

“Have you perhaps told Jaehyun?”

You shake your head. “He can’t find out.”

“Why not?” Jungwoo asks.

“If I tell him, I’ll lose him.” You reply. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“Why did the Doctor say?” Clara asks.

Clara watches you fall silent, choosing not to answer as you gather your things. You bid them a farewell and thank them for driving you home. As you step inside of your home, you slowly slide down the door.

“From your x-ray, it is safe to say that you have Hanahaki Disease. Have you heard of it before?”

You nod. “My best friend has it.”

“Perfect. I’m assuming you are more familiar with this disease than the average person. Let me give you a quick breakdown.”

Your eyes follow your Doctor who’s pointing at the leftover petals sitting in your lungs at the moment. He points at your x-ray.

“The reason why you have this disease is solely because of unrequited love. You may have experienced rejection recently or the past couple of months, which resulted in the occupation of cherry blossom petals in your lungs.” He explains.

“How long will I have this disease? Is it curable?” You ask.

“It’s curable. There are three ways to cure this disease. The first possible cure is if you fall in love with someone else who so happens to return the same feelings. The second cure is if the person who caused your heartbreak falls in love with you, which reverses the unrequited love.”

“And the last possible cure?”

He purses his lips into a tight line. “The last cure is to permanently remove the petals through surgery.”

“Surgery?” He nods his head.

“Yes. But beware,” he warns. “Once you have surgery, those feelings you once had for that person would be permanently removed as well. You will no longer fall in love with that person anymore.”

“Where’s the bride-to-be?”

All of the ladies turn towards the door to see an unfamiliar woman entering the small restaurant. You turn around and you feel your blood run cold. Lina enters the small restaurant and greets Clara by kissing her cheek. She hands Clara her gift and makes her way towards you. Clara looks at you apologetically.

“Y/N! Nice to see you.” Lina smiles.

Indeed, Lina looks beautiful. She screams Jaehyun’s ideal type. You wish you were as beautiful as her, as charming as her.

You smile back at her. “Nice to see you too, Lina.”

“I don’t really know anyone here except for you and Clara. Clara invited me last minute, since Jaehyun and I started dating and all.” She explains.

Your eyebrows raise. “Oh, that’s—that’s nice. Why don’t you go ahead and grab something to eat first?”

“Oh, right! I’ll go ahead. Thanks!” She exclaims, grabbing her plate and heading towards the buffet to get food.

Clara approaches you and nudges your side. “I’m sorry, I had to invite her or else Jaehyun would suspect something. Besides, she’s his date to the wedding, it would be awkward if I didn’t invite her to my bridal shower.”

You shrug it off. “It’s alright. I’m not bothered by it at all.”

The evening goes by smoothly and peacefully with Lina sitting right beside you at the table. Clara is busy opening all the bridal shower gifts with a fake veil on the crown of her head. You’re watching Clara as she opens Lina’s gift, and it so happens to be a bonsai. Clara gasps in surprise and rushes over to thank Lina for the gift.

“It seems like she really likes it,” you chuckle.

“Jaehyun suggested it as a gift.” Lina adds. “Y/N, I’ve been wanting to get close with you, since you’re Jaehyun’s best friend.”

You turn around to face her. “Sure. We can be friends.”

“Jaehyun talks and thinks very highly of you. You’re very special to him, as his best friend. I hope we can be the same. It might be a bit awkward because I abruptly came into his life and everything.” She looks hesitant.

“He does?” You ask. “I am?”

She nods. “I envy you, sometimes, because aside from me, you’re also important to him. I guess it’s just a given, where it’s normal to envy your boyfriend’s best friend who so happens to be a woman.”

“You don’t need to envy me,” you chuckle lightheartedly. You lie. “I don’t have any feelings for him, if that’s what you want to know—”

She cuts you off with a look. “I know you’re in love with Jaehyun.”

Your mouth clamps shut. You’re not close with Lina, therefore, you’re not sure how to react. You analyze her reaction, to see whether she’ll burst out in anger, if she’ll shove you off your chair and start a catfight, or if she’ll peacefully deal with the situation.

“I’m not in love with Jaehyun, I promise you—”

She smiles. “I’m not blind, Y/N. Anyone can see it, even a stranger. The heart never lies.”

You hesitatingly place your hand on hers. “But he’s in love with you, not me. Don’t worry about it, Lina. He’s absolutely in love with you. You should keep your chin up and take care of him.”

Lina looks at you with an expression you can’t read. You were feeling all the symptoms again. Your head was beginning to throb in pain and your arms and legs were starting to feel weak. At this point, you knew when it was going to happen. You excuse yourself, wobbling your way towards the washroom.

You experience the symptoms whenever you’re around Jaehyun, whenever you’re around Lina, or whenever he’s the one being talked about. Those are the times where you think about Jaehyun the most, and it brings you back to May 2nd where he had indirectly rejected you. Anything that relates to your rejection or unrequited love will trigger your symptoms.

You bend over the toilet and throw up the petals. It’s a large batch this time, you notice. Your lungs feel like they’re on fire.

Jaehyun steps inside the restaurant venue to pick up his girlfriend when he finds you rushing towards the washroom. You look sick. He grows concerned and shoves his phone back into his pocket. As he heads to the washroom you’re in, he stops in front of the door at the sound of you throwing up. He has a feeling in his gut that he can’t explain, and it urges him to barge into the washroom.

Cherry blossom petals. It’s the first thing he sees. They’re scattered all over the floor. He follows a trail of the petals and it leads him to a stall that’s been left open. He peeks through the stall and he grows pale.

You’re bent over the toilet, throwing up cherry blossom petals. To be more exact, you’re throwing up petals of his own favourite flower. Only someone with the same exact condition would be able to understand it and connect all the dots.

You’re in love with him.

But he’s not in love with you.

And that’s why you’re throwing up cherry blossom petals.

You have the disease, and it’s all because of his unrequited feelings for you.

He wishes this was just a terrible nightmare.

“Y/N?”

You freeze in your spot. You turn around to see Jaehyun standing at the doorway of the stall. With widened eyes, you try to utter out an explanation but he’s too busy looking at you with shock.

“You have it too?” He whispers. “And it so happens to be cherry blossoms. But you didn’t dare tell me?”

“Jaehyun—”

“How dare you keep this a secret from me?” Anger and a look of betrayal is washed all over his face and you slowly get up from the floor.

“Jaehyun, please just let me explain.” You plead.

“You don’t need to explain. I see it with my own two eyes, Y/N.”

He shakes his head in disappointment and disbelief, barging out of the washroom. You take off your heels and chase after him. As Jaehyun steps out of the washroom, he walks past Jungwoo. He looks at Jaehyun confusedly.

“Jaehyun?” Jungwoo watches as you chase after Jaehyun.

“Jaehyun, wait!”

Jungwoo is completely speechless as he watches Jaehyun storm out of the restaurant. Jaehyun feels like his world is spinning. His thoughts are clouded that he barely notices the heavy rain that’s slowly drenching his clothes. He’s not sure what to do except run, run far away. But he hears you calling out his name.

“Jaehyun, let me explain!”

He stops in his tracks and slowly turns around to face you. It is only when he sees you that he realizes that it’s raining. “How could you do this to me?”

Your tears blend in with the rain that’s dripping down your face. “I was going to tell you after I told Clara and Jungwoo—”

“Tell me what, that you’re in love with me? That I’m the reason for those cherry blossoms?” He cuts you off, letting out a bitter chuckle. “Don’t you think it’s a bit too late, Y/N? I feel like you betrayed me. Everyone knew except me—”

“I didn’t tell you because I know you’re in love with her.” You explain. “I thought that if I told you, you’d end up leaving me.”

“Were you supposed to tell me all of this that day we met up? When I told you that Lina and I started dating?” He asks and you’re too afraid to answer. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “You’re afraid to lose me but the moment you kept all of this a secret from me, was when you started to lose me.”

“Jaehyun, I’m sorry—”

He shakes his head. “I can’t return the same feelings for you, Y/N. You’re my best friend. But I don’t think being your best friend would be good for you.”

“No, Jaehyun, we can work things out—”

“We can’t work things out, Y/N.” He cuts you off. “Just leave me alone. I don’t think I could ever trust you anymore. It’ll be the best for the both of us.”

“Jaehyun,” you beg, reaching out to him. You grab his hand but he shakes your hand off.

“I don’t want to see you ever again.”

It’s almost like you lost your voice. As Jaehyun hops into his car, his headlights blind you before he drives off. You feel yourself fall to your knees, your sobs getting louder and louder. Jungwoo steps out of the restaurant and stands underneath a roof to find you crying your heart out. Clara rushes outside to get you back inside the restaurant. Jungwoo knows that the sound of your loud cries will haunt him forever.

Jungwoo sighs.

This didn’t end well.

1 ½ years later…

“You chose the perfect place!”

You smile, clinking glasses with Clara. As you overlook the exhibit, you take a sip of your champagne. You would have never thought your life would transform into something different within one year. But here you are, one year later, running an exhibit for your photographs. There are visitors of different professions, some are art students, others are fellow photographers.

Someone clears their throat. You turn around, seeing Eunwoo. You eye the bouquet of gardenia and sweet pea in his arms.

“Congratulations on your exhibit.” He hands you the bouquet and you chuckle. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I was wondering why you were late,” you mumble, sniffing the flowers. “Thanks for the flowers, they look lovely.”

“No problem. I’m really proud of you, Y/N—”

“Y/N? We have a bid for one of your photographs.” Your personal secretary, Hyejeong, interrupts the conversation. You raise an eyebrow in surprise. “He wants to meet you.”

“Sure,” you nod your head. You give Eunwoo an apologetic look. “Sorry. I’ll talk to you right after meeting the bidder!”

He waves it off. “No worries. Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

As you follow Hyejeong, you carry the bouquet in your arms. There are fellow photographers greeting and congratulating you, and you feel heat rush to your cheeks by the sudden attention. Hyejeong leads you to the far end of the exhibit. You feel your pace slow down.

“He’s right there.” She points at the bidder.

You follow her gaze and it falls upon a man. Just from the sight of his back, you know exactly who the man is. A lot can happen in a year, and it’s evident through his hair that’s dyed a blue-black, even through his drastic change of fashion. He looks more mature.

You let out a breath. “You can leave us, Hyejeong. I’m sure Clara needs you to help her entertain the visitors.”

She nods her head. “Let me know if you need me.”

As she leaves you and the bidder alone, you feel your grasp on your bouquet begin to tighten. You approach the man who seems to feel your presence. He turns around and a gasp is caught in your throat.

You gather yourself together. “Can I help you with anything?”

Jaehyun stares at you in shock. You’ve changed. Your hair is no longer long, for it’s cut short and stops right at your shoulders. You look more composed. You no longer look shy and introverted. But you look beautiful.

You look so beautiful that it hurts him.

“R-Right—” He stutters and points at the photograph behind him. “I’d like to make a bid.”

You look at the photograph he’s pointing at. It’s a photograph of him. You had taken that photo of him during Jungwoo and Clara’s prenuptial photoshoot. He’s standing in the field of sunflowers with his arms stretched out. You named the photograph, Renewal, because it was the first time Jaehyun had overcome his hatred of flowers.

You purse your lips into a tight line. “I’d like to have you know that photographs on this side of the exhibit are not up for auction. Did you not read the notice before entering the exhibit, sir?”

He scratches the back of his neck. He eyes the bouquet in your arms. “Is that so? Sorry about that, I guess I’ll keep on looking.”

“Sure.” You mumble. “Now, if you’ll excuse me—”

“Y/N.”

You quirk an eyebrow. “Yes?”

He hesitantly smiles. You barely budge an inch and your expression remains blank.

“It’s nice to see you. It’s nice to see you doing well.” He says with a hopeful gaze.

You nod your head and you prepare to say something extremely harsh, no matter how warm his smile is. You can’t let your guard down. You have every right to be mad at him.

“I wish I could say the same to you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have other clients to speak to.”

As you turn around, you feel your heart ache. Jaehyun watches you walk away from him, and he’s completely astonished. He expected this. He expected you to be coldhearted towards him and it’s all his fault. He acknowledges it, but he wasn’t prepared to see it happen right in front of him.

You’ve changed. A year is more than enough to change someone, for better or for worse. But after seeing you, he’s not sure if time has changed you... or if he himself changed you.

It was a couple of months ago where you were cured of the disease. You no longer threw up cherry blossom petals, and you were no longer experiencing the symptoms. The reason for your cure remains unknown. It could be that an unrequited lover has fallen in love with you or you have fallen in love with someone else who so happens to return your feelings. You’d like to think it was the latter.

You don’t believe in the idea of unrequited lovers realizing their undying love for you, especially when it’s too late. That only happens in fairytale stories.

“My date is looking beautiful tonight.” You hear Eunwoo say as he joins you out on the balcony. You giggle, rolling your eyes at him.

Jungkook had just gotten married a couple of hours ago. You’re sure that he’s probably wasted on the dance floor with his wife scolding him for getting too drunk with their guests around. You feel a bit tipsy yourself after having a couple of glasses of wine. You decided to get some fresh air, not expecting your date, Eunwoo, to join you. You figured Eunwoo would be getting wasted with his newly-wedded friend. Guess not.

“I guess we’re the last ones who need to find fiances.” He sighs, sipping his wine.

“Don’t even think about proposing to me, Eunwoo.” You mutter. “I don’t plan on getting diabetes because of all the sweets you’ll bake for me.”

He laughs. “Well, if I were to be honest with you, I did fall in love with you at some point.”

“You have?” You raise an eyebrow, surprised. “You should’ve told me. I would’ve dated you in a heartbeat.”

“You would?” He asks, surprised. You nod. “Wow, this truly tells me we’re not destined to be together. My timing was quite off. The Eunwoo a year ago should’ve just confessed.”

You smirk. “There’s no such thing as second chances, Eunwoo, so don’t even think about shooting your shot with me again. It’s not going to happen.”

“I liked you a lot, Y/N. But it looked like you were so in love with Jaehyun, so I didn’t bother. What’s even more funny was that I lied about having a girlfriend to see if you’d get jealous, but you barely reacted.” He reminisces, and the two of you share a good laugh together.

All this time, Eunwoo had proclaimed that he was officially off the market. Who knew that he did it just to earn some sort of jealous reaction from you? His timing was definitely off.

You pat his shoulder. “You’ll find someone special. You just have to wait a bit longer.”

Eunwoo doesn’t reply and you look up at him questioningly. He’s looking at someone at the door. You follow his gaze and you let out a tiring sigh. Eunwoo glances at you and pats your back.

“I’ll head back inside, alright?” He insists. “Call me if you need anything.”

Eunwoo passes by Jaehyun, who’s standing at the door. The two of them glance at each other for a brief moment before Eunwoo tears his gaze. You look at Jaehyun for a brief moment before downing your glass of wine. You wince, the wine no longer tastes fruity and sweet, it tastes bitter.

“Are you following me?” You ask him, turning away from him to look up at the night sky. It takes him a couple of seconds to stand a metre away from you.

“I just wanted to talk to you.” Jaehyun says softly.

You scoff. “What is there to talk about?”

“Us.”

He sees you roll your eyes. “There was never an ‘us’. I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Are you just going to ignore the fact that you were in love with me?” He dives straight to the point. “Are you still in love with me?”

Are you still in love with me? You chuckle bitterly, turning around to face him. You look over his shoulder to find a butler to fetch. You need another glass of wine.

“Would my answer matter to you?” You argue back. “Last time I checked, you left me for her.”

“It was a mistake—”

“By the way,” you muster up a smile. “How are you guys? Is the relationship going well? I wouldn’t know, it’s been a while since you left.”

“We broke up.” He answers, and it comes out barely above a whisper.

A butler finally comes around and hands you a glass of wine. You grab an extra glass for him. He doesn’t budge, looking quite astonished and speechless. You shrug your shoulders, placing it back on the butler’s tray.

“How sad,” you say. “Didn’t you tell me that she was the one?”

“Look, Y/N, I’m in love with—”

You close your eyes and cut him off with a sigh. “How long has it been? A year? Since you left me out there in the rain? I still remember that night. You must’ve forgotten because here you are, trying to befriend me again.”

Jaehyun remembers that night so vividly. He remembers how shattered he left you. But most of all, he remembers how guilty he felt for pushing you away. If he had the chance to turn back time, he’d do things much more differently.

“Well, I should get going. It was nice seeing you again, Jaehyun.” You fake a smile and he can see through it. You’re not happy, not the slightest bit.

“Y/N—”

“And I hope this is the last time I’ll see you.”

Are you still in love with me? That’s a question you feared the most. It terrifies you because yes, you’re still in love with Jaehyun. You don’t see yourself being with anyone else. No matter how much he hurt you, you’re still in love with him. No matter how much he doesn’t deserve you, you’re still in love with him.

And that in of itself is more than enough to ruin your life.

Jaehyun is stubborn.

He finds himself standing in front of your exhibition. This time, your exhibition is in a different city. He made the extra effort to drive to a different city in hopes of seeing you again. You may hate him for this, but he knew that he owed you an explanation. And if it was going to take many tries to get through to you, he would do it. He would do it in a heartbeat.

“One admission ticket for Y/N’s exhibition, please.”

This time around, he didn’t show up empty-handed. He stopped by a flower shop a couple of blocks away from the gallery to pick up a fresh bouquet of—

“You saw the exhibit back in Seoul, but you’re here in Busan to see it again?”

You’re standing in front of one of your photographs with your back facing him. He looks at the photograph, it’s a photo of Jungwoo and Clara’s shadows shown on the pavement. He can clearly make out that the photo was taken after their wedding for Clara’s shadows perfectly show a veil sitting on the crown of her head and the skirt of her dress.

You turn around. “Cat bit your tongue?”

He hesitatingly approaches you, handing you the bouquet of flowers. You quirk an eyebrow. It’s a bouquet of violet lilacs, your favourite flower.

“I know you hoped that our paths wouldn’t cross again but—”

“Thanks for the flowers.” You cut him off, gently grabbing the flowers from his hands. You take a quick sniff of the flowers and a smile threatens to form on your lips. But you’re quick to stop it.

“Oh, hello there, stranger.”

The two of you spot Jungwoo, who’s entering the exhibition with his wife, Clara. Jungwoo feels a bit wary with Jaehyun being near you, and it’s evident with the lines on his forehead. Clara looks at you for reassurance and you bite your lip.

“Long time, no see.” Jaehyun mumbles.

“I was wondering where you ran off to after our wedding—ow!” Jungwoo’s sentence is cut short when Clara elbows him in the stomach.

Clara fakes a smile. “Nice seeing you, Jaehyun. Of all places I’d expect myself to bump into you, I didn’t expect it to be at Y/N’s exhibit.”

Jaehyun barely utters a word. The atmosphere excuses nothing but awkwardness and tension. You clear your throat.

“Did you drive all the way from Seoul to Busan?” Jungwoo asks him.

He shakes his head. “I took the train.”

“Do you need a ride going home? We can drive you home, after you stroll around, of course.” Clara offers.

“Clara,” you hiss through your teeth.

“If you don’t mind,” Jaehyun says sheepishly. “I hope I’m not a bother—”

“Oh, you’re definitely not a bother.” You say sarcastically. As you let out a sigh, you hand Clara the bouquet of lilacs. “Excuse me, I have some visitors to speak to.”

Clara watches you as you walk away, leaving the three of them. “Y/N—”

As the three of them are left behind, Clara’s shoulders slump in defeat and turns around to face the other two. She puts on her sunglasses and slings her bag over her shoulder.

“Want to grab a cup of coffee with us?” Clara asks Jaehyun.

He purses his lips into a tight line. “Sure.”

Jungwoo snorts. “Great. I could definitely use an espresso shot right now.”

The couple lead the way, leaving Jaehyun following closely behind. He looks over his shoulder to see you talking with one of the visitors. You have a warm smile on your face. It’s a smile he misses so much. He misses the times where you’d smile because of him.

But now, he’s the reason for all your frowns.

“I apologize for Y/N’s… behaviour.”

Jaehyun places down his cup of coffee onto the table. Seated across from him are Jungwoo and Clara. He waves it off. “You don’t need to. I kind of expected her to be like that, especially towards me.”

Jungwoo scoffs. “As you should.”

“Look,” Jaehyun begins. He wraps his hands around the warm mug of coffee. He avoids their gaze, but he feels the two of them burning holes through his head. “I regret everything. I deserve all of this. But all I want is for her to forgive me.”

“Are you sure that’s all you want from her?” Clara asks. “A second chance?”

“I think I have a better chance at being her best friend again. But a chance at being a lover? I’m not too sure.” Jaehyun confesses.

Jungwoo and Clara share a look. Clara takes a sip of her tea, completely surprised by the subtle confession. She clears her throat. “You’re in love with Y/N?”

Jaehyun nods his head. “I think I’ve always been in love with her.”

“Took you long to realize it.” Jungwoo smiles. “But I think you’re a bit too late.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow. “You really think I don’t have a chance?”

“Y/N gave up on love a long time ago.” Clara says truthfully. “But there may be a sliver of hope. That is, if you’re persistent enough to keep up with her. If you keep it up, she may give you a second chance. But once you give up, she’ll probably hate you forever.”

Jungwoo smirks. “You act like you don’t know Y/N, Jaehyun. I’m sure she’s still in love with you. All you have to do is show her that you’re in love with her. She can’t resist you.”

“You think so?”

“Y/N’s been your best friend for the longest time. It won’t take much to break down her walls again, especially if the one to tear down her walls is you.” Clara reassures him.

“Wait, when did you realize it?” Jungwoo asks.

“Realize what?”

“That you’re in love with her.” Jungwoo mumbles.

“Seven months ago? I was on the search for her seven months ago.” Jaehyun replies while scratching the back of his head.

Jungwoo looks at his wife. She looks back at him and he watches as the gears start to turn in her head. It’s not long until she finally figures it out. Jaehyun stares at the two of them communicate with their eyes.

Clara looks at Jaehyun. “You may have a huge chance, Jaehyun.”

Seven months.

When Jaehyun started to fall in love with you seven months ago, you had just found out that you had been completely cured of the disease.

“Text us when you get home!”

Jaehyun waves at Jungwoo and Clara, who dropped him off at a bus stop near his home. In a rush, they were only able to drop Jaehyun off at a bus stop because they had to pick up their daughter from the babysitter. He watches their car get smaller and smaller as it travels farther down the road. He looks up at the sky, and a raindrop falls onto his cheek. Suddenly, the raindrops start to fall more frequently. He clicks his tongue.

“I should make a run for it,” he says to himself, beginning to walk down the sidewalk.

It starts to rain. He starts jogging down the sidewalk when the rain gets heavier and heavier. But he’s completely out of shape and finds himself opting to walk in the heavy rain instead. His clothes are soaking wet, and all the people walking past him don’t bother offering an umbrella. As soon as he spots a convenience store, he hears a loud honk. He glances to his left to see an unfamiliar car parked by the curb.

The window rolls down to reveal you. You look at him with concern.

“Get in. I’ll drive you home.” You insist.

“I’ll be fine, I don’t want to be a bother—”

“Just get in or else I’m leaving you here.” You cut him off. “Take it or leave it.”

He hesitatingly walks to your car and hops into the passenger’s seat. You drive off. The ride is silent, and he distracts himself from the lit-up signs and billboards. You remember where he lives. He would have expected you to completely shut him out of your life, where you would even forget his address. But you remembered.

“How could you not have an umbrella on you? Did you not hear the forecast today?”

He looks away from the window. You’re focused on the road. Your expression remains the same; completely blank. He doesn’t say anything.

“Look at you, you’re completely wet.” You mutter to yourself. A smile threatens to spread across his lips. You care. You care about him, even if it was just a slight bit. “Great. Now my car seat is completely wet too. So much for maintaining a clean car.”

He probably looks like a fool for smiling at you. You tear your gaze away from the road when you reach a red stoplight. When you look at him, he quickly looks away. You can feel your heart ramming in your chest.

“Thanks for driving me home.” He says in advance.

The stoplight turns green. You step on the gas, mumbling, “It’s nothing.”

It’s a complete lie. You decided to visit your old place, maybe drop by the nearby convenience store to eat a nice hot, steaming cup of ramen. But you didn’t expect to park by the curb, only to find Jaehyun ready to walk inside after walking in the heavy rain. The sight of Jaehyun’s wet hair and clothes made you feel bad.

As you park your car, you glance at Jaehyun who’s fallen asleep. He shivers in his sleep and it immediately makes you check his temperature. Surely enough, Jaehyun has a slight fever that will probably last the entire night after getting soaked by the rain. You sigh, turning off the engine of your car.

“Jaehyun.” You nudge him awake. He rubs his eyes and you notice how he’s beginning to shiver. “Give me the keys to your house.”

“Huh—”

“You have a slight fever.”

“I can take care of it myself, don’t worry—”

“Knowing you, you are incapable of looking after yourself. Hand me the keys.” You extend your open hand out to him and he fishes his keys in his pocket. “Let’s head inside.”

As you support Jaehyun on the walk inside, you notice how his body leans comfortably onto your side. He leans in closer to your warmth. As you jam his keys into the lock, you swing the door open for the both of you.

“Geez, you’re heavy.” You say with a grunt. You reach up to feel his forehead and indeed, his fever is getting worse. “Let’s get you to your bed.”

Thankfully enough, he’s brought to his bed in one piece. You dust your hands off, walking into his bathroom to prepare a damp cloth for his forehead. Jaehyun’s teeth clatter as he shivers on his bed. Through hooded eyes, he sees you wringing a cloth in his bathroom. You place the cloth along with a bowl of water on top of his bedside table and grab a pair of pajamas from his drawers.

“Could you do me one favour and change into these? I’ll be outside. Call me when you’re done changing.”

And so you find yourself standing outside of his bedroom. Your eyes linger across his living room until they stop at one of the walls. The wall is decorated with a collection of Polaroid pictures. Curiosity gets the best of you and you get closer to the Polaroid wall to get a better look at the pictures.

The first picture at the top left of the wall is a picture of Jaehyun and Jungwoo. They’re holding up a peace sign. It’s the first Polaroid picture Jaehyun took with the Polaroid camera you gifted him for his birthday. As your eyes scan the pictures from left to right, you start to notice how they’re all pictures of.. you.

You shake your head, shrugging off your thoughts. You turn your back against the wall, but his coffee table grabs your attention. On his coffee table, there’s a couple of advertisement flyers. They’re flyers of your photography exhibit.

“This can’t be,” you whisper to yourself.

Your feet drag you to his kitchen. On his fridge, you spot a couple of notes you’ve written and left for him. From reminders to small words of encouragement, your handwriting is found all over the notes. It’s noticeable how old the notes are, for some of the adhesive is wearing out, causing the corners of the sticky-note to peel off.

Everywhere in his home, Jaehyun has a reminder of you. Even after a year and a half, he never once pushed you out of his life. But he offered to walk out of yours himself.

But why did he hurt you? Why did he leave you? Why did it take him one year?

Your eyes well up with tears. Suddenly, you hear Jaehyun open the door and call out your name. You turn your back against him to quickly wipe your tears.

“Coming.” You mumble. You sniff softly, gathering yourself together.

And right before you enter Jaehyun’s bedroom, you look back at the Polaroid wall one last time.

While you thought Jaehyun walked out of your life for good, you somehow remained in his life through memories.

The cafe is busy with university students rushing in and out with their caffeine boost. You almost bump into one. Seated at a table for two, your eyes meet Lina. She flashes you a small smile, sending you a wave. The beat of your heart speeds up out of nervousness.

“I didn’t think you would come.”

You bite your lip. “Me either.”

“Look—”

“You’re getting married?” You cut her off. She avoids your gaze, slowly nodding her head. You take out the invitation she had mailed to you. You read the names on the invitation. “Does Jaehyun know?”

“He knows—”

“And how does he feel about it?” You question. “I hope you didn’t hurt his feelings. He was very much in love with you, Lina—”

“Jaehyun and I dated for four months, Y/N.” She tells you the truth and you look at her confusedly. “We broke up because of you.”

“W-What?” You stutter.

“Two months into the relationship, I started to notice how important you are to him. Everything we did reminded him of you. I was starting to question whether he was in love with me or not because all he did was talk about you.” She explains. “Y/N this, Y/N that. But I brushed it off, and I let it drag on for another two months.”

“He told me that you were the one,” you shake your head in disbelief. “We were all sure that the two of you would end up together—”

“Jaehyun’s in love with you.” She gets straight to the point. “You deserve him. He deserves you. I mean, after you got my invitation, the first person that came to your mind was not you, but Jaehyun. I hope you’re still in love with him, Y/N.”

She was right. After you received the invitation, the first person you thought of was Jaehyun. You wondered if he was heartbroken by the news of her engagement. You wondered if he was taking it easy, if he was doing alright.

“I hope you can come to my wedding, Y/N.” She smiles. “Although we’re on awkward terms, it would be nice to have you attend. I still consider you as someone I’d like to be friends with.”

“I’ll think about it,” you purse your lips into a line. “Thank you for even thinking about inviting me.”

“I hope you’ll get the closure you need.”

Jungwoo pulls up to the venue, parking his car and turning off the engine. He’s never felt so nervous for a best friend. He looks at you through his rearview mirror. You’re anxious. There are strangers dressed up in suits and dresses, all huddled up in groups outside of the venue. They’re most likely long-time friends of Lina and her soon-to-be husband.

“Are you sure you will be alright on your own?” You tear your gaze from a couple who are taking a selfie.

You smile. “I’ll be alright. If anything, I’ll call you.”

You feel awkward standing by yourself. Jungwoo had already left you after giving you one last peptalk. You decide to head inside the venue to wait for the couple to arrive. The venue is beautiful. Their wedding theme so happens to be a backyard wedding, making their guests feel more comfortable. You can tell that they wanted a more home-y concept for their wedding. It’s shown through the white chairs scattered across the grass, the rose petals spread across the aisles, and the right amount of candles lit around the perimeter.

“It’s beautiful, huh?”

Jaehyun shoves his hands inside his pockets and looks around the venue. You grow confused, turning around to see him standing a couple of metres away.

“You were invited too?” You ask and he nods his head.

He chuckles. “I actually don’t know anyone here except you.”

From the corner of your eye, you can see him stand next to you. He has the sudden urge to hold your hand, but he knows that it wouldn’t be a good idea to do. You’re afraid that he can hear your heart that’s beating tremendously loud and fast. Little did you know, the two of you are standing in the middle of the aisle that leads up to the front, where the groom and bride are to be wedded. Oh, how Jaehyun wishes that he’d be standing at the front to watch you walk down the aisle for him.

“I don’t know anyone here except you,” you say.

He glances at you. “Can we at least be friends just for today? I don’t think I’ll be able to handle being on my own.”

You snort. “Last time I checked, you told me to stay away from you. Now you’re asking me to be friends with you for a day?”

“I’m just taking my chances.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Besides, I regret everything I said to you that night.”

“Rightfully so,” you mumble. You face him. “Fine. But once this day is over, I want you to do one thing for me.”

“Sure.”

You fold your arms. “Stay away from me. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

He stares at you for a brief moment. You look beautiful. You’re wearing a long lavender purple dress that stops just above your ankles. It’s an off-shoulder dress, and you style it up by wearing stacked gold necklaces.

He extends his hand out for you to seal the deal.

“Deal.”

The wedding was everything you expected it to be. Lina and her husband have been best friends since they were in diapers, and it was a given that they would end up together. It made you wonder how your life would’ve been different if Jaehyun was in love with you and if he returned the same feelings you have for him.

You wish the night would be over, where you could lay down on your bed and hibernate for a couple of months. You’re not into social interaction, especially with people you barely know. It was a shame that you and Jaehyun were assigned to sit at a table with complete strangers. At this point, you’re depending on Jaehyun to spice up your night by keeping you company.

“Y/N,” he nudges you as the lights in the hall start to dim. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“It’s our favourite song.” He smiles.

You listen carefully and indeed, it is your favourite song. A smile threatens to spread across your lips. As Daniel Caesar’s ‘Best Part’ starts to play, you feel yourself go back to prom night. You had been stood up by your date and Jaehyun found you sitting outside of the venue all alone. He had offered to be your date for the last couple of hours of prom night. A smile forms on your lips when you remember Jaehyun playing this song and offering to dance with you.

“Shall we dance?”

You’re brought back to reality. You glance at him. He looks back at you with a look you can’t read. His eyes are trying to tell you something, but you can’t make out what he wants to tell you.

“Will it be good for me?”

“We won’t know until we try.”

And so you both try. On the dance floor with many other couples, Jaehyun grabs your hand and your fingers interlock. Your hands fit perfectly together. He places his hands on your waist and you carefully place yours on his shoulders. He’s standing so close to you, you could feel his hot breath hit your skin.

“I don’t remember if I told you how beautiful you look,” he says softly.

You blink. “Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Jaehyun’s eyes trail down to your plump lips. You look away from him. The song is so intimate and holds a memory that you wish to forget. As the song comes to an end, your eyes meet Jaehyun’s one last time. Before you could process it, he’s slowly leaning in. His lips brush yours and you’re so close to getting carried away by pulling him closer.

But you catch yourself right on time. Before the kiss gets passionate, you pull away by pushing his chest. He looks completely surprised. You touch your lips, shaking your head.

“This is wrong—”

“Y/N—”

“Stay away from me.” You warn him. “Stay right there. Don’t follow me.”

Out of shock, you barge out of the reception venue. Your eyes are tearing up. You told yourself that you’re never going to fall in love again. You gave up on love a long time ago, but all it takes is one look from him and you’re doomed—

“Y/N.”

You slowly look over your shoulder to see Jaehyun standing at the door, out of breath. He had chased you.

“This was a bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have—”

“Y/N, I’m in love with you.” He confesses. You turn your back towards him. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to tell you that. Seven months, Y/N. Seven months of—”

“Those pictures of us in your living room. Why do you still have them?”

“Because I can’t bring myself to throwing them out. They’re precious memories, Y/N. I kept them because it’s the only thing I have left that reminds me of you.” He explains.

Tears start streaming down your cheeks and you let out a scoff as you wipe them away. “Why am I like this around you? I hate being like this. Whenever it comes to you, I find himself going back to you when I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be in love with you—”

“I—”

“Jaehyun, you’ve had six relationships. You endured your sickness for six relationships and you didn’t fight it alone because I was there. I was there because I chose to stay.” You will yourself to turn around and look at him. He looks broken. “But when the tables turn and I fall in love for the first time, when I need you the most, you leave me. In fact, you left me for her.”

“You have every right to hate me,” he whispers.

“I was fighting all alone.” You bite your quivering lip. “Jungwoo got married. Jungkook got married. Eunwoo is planning on proposing to his girlfriend. And me? I’m still fighting on my own. I’m still in love with you when I clearly shouldn’t be.”

“Please, Y/N—”

“I’m tired of being in love with you.” He looks at you with hopeless eyes. “If you really love me, you would do me a favour and leave me alone. Isn’t that what you told me to do in the first place? Leave you alone?”

Jaehyun doesn’t know what to say. You look exactly how you looked that night he left you. You’re still broken. You’re still not over him.

“Y/N—”

“You sealed the deal earlier, right? When I told you that I hope I’ll never see you again, I meant it. I don’t want to ever see you again. It’ll be the best for me.”

He’s completely speechless and you take it as your cue to leave when Jungwoo pulls up in the parking lot. Jungwoo looks concerned from his seat in the car. Just as you’re about to leave, Jaehyun says your name one last time. You look at him over your shoulder. There are tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

He’s selfish.

“Fine.” You mutter. “Have it your way.”

“If fate thinks we’re destined to be together, I hope you’ll know where to find me.”

“Stop skipping your meals and eat.”

It’s been weeks since Lina’s wedding. It’s been weeks since you last saw Jaehyun standing in front of you, broken and hopeless. You haven’t been doing great. In fact, you’ve been feeling horrible. You feel like your heart has been run over ten times and back. You’re not sure what to feel, but Jaehyun’s voice confessing his love for you echoes through your head every now and then.

You toss a tissue into the trash can. “Jungwoo, shouldn’t you be picking up your daughter from the babysitter?”

“I asked if she could stay a bit more. I can’t just leave you here looking like this, Clara will kill me if she finds out.” Jungwoo frowns. “Could you please just take care of yourself?”

“I’m not in the mood to eat, if that’s what you were wondering.”

“Stop being stubborn.” Jungwoo says sternly.

He looks around your room and his eyes fall upon a framed picture sitting on your bedside table. He squints his eyes to get a clearer view of the picture. It’s a picture of you and Jaehyun from prom night. He has his arm thrown over your shoulder. The two of you are standing close to each other, pulling off your funniest face.

“Hey,” he says, nodding his head at the picture. “You still have that? You kept it all this time?”

You follow his gaze and it lands on the picture of you and Jaehyun. “Oh, I forgot to throw it out—”

“Don’t even try to lie. I know you can’t bring yourself to throwing it out.” Jungwoo interrupts you.

“Stop reminding me of how deeply in love I am with Jaehyun when I shouldn’t be.” You plead. “I didn’t ask to be reminded of him—”

“Why are you stopping yourself from wanting what your heart wants?”

You fall silent.

“Your heart wants Jaehyun. You can’t change your heart’s mind because your heart has no mind.” Jungwoo explains.

“You have a point. But still,” you shake your head. “I am not going to give up on a year’s worth of moving on.”

“But you never truly moved on if you’re still in love with him, Y/N. It’s been a year and you’re still in love with him. Besides, he’s in love with you. Shouldn’t you just give him a second chance?

“No.”

“God, you’re so stubborn.” Jungwoo sighs.

“He’s the reason for those stupid cherry blossoms and that stupid disease—”

“Y/N, there’s something Clara and I wanted to tell you in relation to that.” Jungwoo says and looks like he’s just realized something. “When we took Jaehyun out for a cup of coffee—”

“I don’t want to hear it—”

“Just listen!” He exclaims as you cover your ears with your hands. You can still hear him, unfortunately. “He told us that he realized his feelings for you seven months ago.”

“So?” You raise an eyebrow.

His shoulders slump. “Didn’t you get cured of the disease seven months—”

“Wait.” You cut him off. Your hands slowly uncover your ears. “What did he say?”

“Jaehyun told us that he realized his feelings for you seven months ago.” Jungwoo repeats himself and he sees the gears start to turn in your head. “Seven months ago, Y/N. Didn’t you get cured of the disease—”

“Seven months ago.” You finish it for him. “Holy shit.”

The first possible cure to your disease is if you fall in love with someone else, who happens to return the same feelings. That cure rules out because you’ve never fallen in love after Jaehyun.

The second possible cure to your disease is by surgically removing the petals itself. You decided not to get the procedure done because your feelings would be compromised and there was a chance that you would never fall in love again.

The third and last cure to your disease is if your unrequited lover happens to fall in love with you, reversing the unrequited love.

Jaehyun fell in love with you seven months ago. At the same time, you were cured of the disease.

Holy shit.

“You said you were picking up your daughter, right?” You say, in complete shock. “Start your car. I need you to drive me somewhere.”

As you and Jungwoo hop into the car, there’s only one person you have in mind. It’s Jaehyun. As Jungwoo drives down the road, you look out the window. Your first place to find Jaehyun is your exhibition. He’s always been there just to look for you.

Jungwoo stares at the cherry blossoms lined up on the sidewalk. “The cherry blossoms bloomed beautifully, huh?”

You nod your head. “Yeah, focus on your driving.”

Jungwoo chuckles.

He parks in front of the exhibition and you don’t hesitate on getting out of the car. The security guard greets you and you rush into the exhibition. Your eyes scan the room. He’s not in sight. You sigh, running your hands through your hair.

“If fate thinks we’re destined to be together, I hope you’ll know where to find me.”

You finally realize it.

“God, why do you have to be so complicated, Jaehyun?”

Jungwoo finds you rushing out of the exhibition. You’re starting to jog down the sidewalk and he looks at you confusedly. He hops out of the car and calls out your name.

“Y/N! Where are you going?”

You stop in your tracks, turning around. “I think I know where he is. Thanks for the ride!”

Jungwoo smiles. “You’ll figure it out.”

You look up at the cherry blossom trees. There are petals slowly falling down. You glance down at your phone and coincidentally enough, it’s May 2nd. You continue to jog down the sidewalk, turning a left and a right. Finding Jaehyun is harder than you thought, especially when there are couples scattered down the strip of the road.

Jaehyun steps out of the cafe with an iced americano in his hand. He looks up at the cherry blossom trees and a smile starts to form on his lips. It’s a beautiful day, he thinks to himself. But it’ll be much more beautiful if he sees you—

“Y/N?” He spots you jogging down the sidewalk across the street.

You’re stopping at each shop and cafe to look through the window. You’re checking to see if Jaehyun is in any of the shops. Unknowingly, Jaehyun is crossing the street to chase after you. You’re walking way too fast, Jaehyun notes. You’re crossing the road that’s slowly coming to an end. You’re ready to give up at this point.

As you reach the end of the road, you let out a sigh of defeat. You hunch over, trying to catch your breath.

“Y/N?” You hear a voice.

You straighten up your posture, turning around to see Jaehyun standing behind you. He’s completely out of breath and he lets out a breathless laugh. You look at him with doe-eyes.

“You walk so fast, I was hoping you’d slow down—oof! Oh, alright.” He says as you crush him in a huge hug.

You pull away from the hug to whack his arm. “Why were you so vague with your hint? I spent a whole ass hour trying to look for you—”

“You were looking for me?” He blushes.

“Yeah,” you mumble. “Sorry, I just—”

“The cherry blossoms bloomed perfectly, don’t you think?” He cuts you off, gesturing towards the tree hovering over the both of you.

“Yeah, it did.” You say softly, scratching the back of your neck. Why do you suddenly feel so nervous around him? “It was nice seeing you, I should probably get going—”

“You’re leaving already?”

You slowly nod your head. “I—I just wanted to say hi. That’s all. I’ll see you around, Jaehyun.”

You’re too nervous to tell him. You feel like you’ll get rejected again. As you turn around, you feel his hand grab your wrist, pulling you back. You look up at him with hopeful eyes.

“You’re leaving right after you found me?” He asks.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Jaehyun.” You say softly.

“You’re not going to tell me that you’re still in love with me?” He says as he looks into your eyes.

His eyes are easier to read now. It’s all crystal clear. It’s laid out perfectly in front of you.

“I’m still in love with you,” you whisper.

“I’m in love with you,” he confesses. “Always have.”

His face brightens up. He never thought that he’d hear it from you. He feels like the luckiest man on Earth. Fate surely thinks the two of you are destined to be together, for it brought you both together at the perfect time and place the heart only knows.

“So, when do you want to get married?”

“Slow your horses, Jaehyun.”

He lets out endearing laughter.

He’s surely going to marry you one day.

author’s note. this took so long to finish, i am so sorry for the long wait. i hope you guys enjoyed this! i think i’m going to take a few days off because writing this huge fic of a monster made me want to pull my hair out. again, i hope you guys enjoyed this!

send me feedback! comments? suggestions? let me know!

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anomallysm-writing · 3 years

Note

Can I request a Jealous Jonathan x Male reader? Like all he wanted was his boyfriend to come over to meet his family and in true Dio fashion, he tries to ruin Jonathan's relationship w reader!

Whether it be in fic or headcanon form is up to you dude, I'm excited to see your future content! :)

Thank you so much for your confidence in me! I love Jonathan, and I love male reader scenarios, so I’m excited you’ve requested this. I sort of assumed you meant younger Jonathan, so that’s when this takes place.

jealous! Jonathan Joestar x male! Reader

Fun Day

3rd person

“Jonathan, you have befriended another boy?” Jonathan’s father asks him with a sincere tone. He replies gingerly, “Yes, Father. You are not upset with me, are you?”. He sighs and answers, “No, my son, why would I be? Every boy needs a boy friend of his own, to play ball and run around,”. These words calm the boy substantially. “Thank you, Father.” he says to him in joy, confusing the man slightly.

However, his adoptive brother, Dio, is listening in. He smirks to himself, and thinks about how to teach this brat a lesson. Another way to bring his brother happiness? Another way to lower his spirits. Mr. Joestar smiles at his son and asks, “Well, how about you bring this boy to the manor so that I may meet him?”. Dio’s smirk grows into a grin at this, ‘They are making it too easy! I will just get the boy all jealous!’. Jonathan’s smile grows greater, “Oh, Father, I would love for you to meet him! May I ask if he is able to visit tomorrow?”. Mr. Joestar agrees on this time, but reminds Jonathan that it would be best to ask sooner rather than later, as it is growing dark.

“I have no other way to occupy my day tomorrow, I would love to visit your estate, JoJo!” Y/n tells his friend gleefully. Jonathan replies, “Hooray! My father would like to meet you tomorrow.” “I would like to meet him, too,” Y/n begins, “but that must be tomorrow, and you must head back today! The sun has almost set. How about we meet at noon?”. He confirms and says his goodbyes before heading home for the night.

Courtesy of one of the servants, Jonathan sets at the designated time. Letting his father know where he is off to, he starts the walk to his friend’s house to escort them back to his, and then spend the day with his family. Upon retrieving Y/n, they casually chat, and then head back together. However, they aren’t alone. Dio watches carefully, getting to know Y/n from behind the scenes. Once they are at the house, he sneaks back inside to greet the “new friend”.

Laughing at a comment that Y/n made, Jonathan doesn’t notice his brother before his friend does. “Oh, hello there! What is your name?”. Jonathan’s heart stops for a moment as he realizes this day might not go as smoothly as intended. Bowing to the newcomer, Dio introduces himself, causing Jonathan some unease, but this goes unnoticed by the boy immersed in the blonde’s presence. The blue-haired boy asks to simply enter the mansion to show his friend around, when really, he just doesn’t to be Dio’s company.

“I presume this young man to be the one you have told me of, Jonathan? What is your name?” Mr. Joestar asks the two boys. His son simply nods in response. With the most politeness Y/n can manage, he introduces himself to his friend’s father. The man seems pleased, so he feels more welcome. Dio approaches from behind, causing his brother’s nerves to induce immediately. ‘What tricks are you up to now, you fool?’ he thinks to himself. “My dear brother, may I show your friend around with you? I know what it is like better than anyone, wandering about this place with no idea of where I may be at any time.” Dio begins to ask, but before an answer is provided, he turns to Y/n and says, “You know, I am not his brother by blood. I was brought here through adoption. This kind man I now call Father was willing to take me in after my own passed away.”. The newer boy stares deep into the other’s ruby red eyes with interest at the powerful history they hold.

Mr. Joestar clears his throat and states, “That is indeed the truth. Now, it is lunchtime. You have not eaten yet, Y/n? You may eat here with us. I will get the servants to prepare a meal for all of us,”. Breaking his gaze with the cunning boy, he turns to the man and concurs. Jonathan lets out a sigh and offers to take a walk with the fellow before him.

At the meal later, a casual conversation occurs. Jonathan is finally off edge, as Dio has not pulled anything tremendous thus far. He is, however, trying his very best to eat in a civil manner. More than usual, that is. Much to his dismay, Y/n has noticed it, but chooses to ignore it to be polite. And yet, his eye simply must be caught by the way Dio holds himself. Fueled by honor, confidence, and independence. His mysterious yet hypnotic demeanor which had secured a firm grasp upon the attentions of many. But Jonathan had not noted the way his good pal couldn’t seem to get his eyes off of his brother, being too busy trying his darnedest not too look a fool in front of the one and only peer of his who had captured his heart so sweetly. Quite sad, in all honesty. He had only taken notice at around the final gulp of food he took. It didn’t take long for him to be on edge again after that. In fact, he felt very discouraged, and almost was not able to finish what little he had left on his plate.

“Hey, Y/n?” He begins after everyone has finished, and the dishes had been dealt with.“Yes JoJo?” “What do you think of Dio?”. The question sent a wave of shock through Y/n. Why would he ask that? The h/c boy turns to face his friend and says calmly, “I respect him. He is interesting. But not very suitable for friendship, really.”. Jonathan did not know how to feel about that. He doesn’t want to be friends with him? But he respects him? Interesting? It did little to soothe his nerves. Y/n notices that his friend appear lost in thought. With a sigh, he tells him, “JoJo, we have been friends for a while. We know each other well, better than most do, no? Ah, you see…” Jonathan looks into his eyes, and then he clears his throat and continues, “you might hate me for this. But I think you hating me is better than you thinking I like your brother more than I like you.”. All of the sudden, the blue-haired boy’s nerves were forgotten about entirely. He couldn’t help but be confused, and yet, hope shined through him. He may not be alone. “You see, JoJo, I love you. More than fellows. And not in the brother way. I want you to be my husband someday. Although I have never seen a couple consisting of two husbands, perhaps we could be the first I have seen?”. Jonathan’s blue eyes lit up with a flame greater than ever before. He was over the moon! He attempted to keep calm, but couldn’t help a wide and toothy grin, as he replied, “I would love that more than anything, my dear friend.”.

On the walk home that evening, when the boys were sure that nobody was watching, they slipped their hands together into one, each being elated enough to tear up slightly. They shared that tender moment together in peace and seclusion, safe in the company of no one but each other. And this time, Dio had not thought to tag along. He was positive that he had absolutely enamored the new kid, beyond the wits of his brother. How wrong he was! In the end, it was Jonathan who enamored him. Or was it Jonathan who was enamored? It matters not, all that is important is that these two boys are now happy together, and ready to face the challenges of the future right by the other’s side. The leaves fall as they chat about the beautiful aspects of life, but to them, the most beautiful aspect of all was their solidarity.

The end

I’m sorry if that was really cheesy, obvious, or redundant. Or really anything of the like, really. Please give feedback if you have any. If my memory serves me correctly, this is the first fan fiction I have ever written, so it’s probably terrible, I don’t know for sure.

#jojos bizzare adventure x reader #jonathan joestar #jonathan joestar x reader #jojo’s bizarre adventure #fan fiction

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

Text

Paint the lot red | Qian Kun

Qian Kun x Reader

▸ FLUFF, ANGST, Smut, Vampire au ▸ Part of the Stephen King’s collab, hosted by @starryqian & @takitaro ▸ Inspired by Stephen King’s, Salem’s Lot

Summary: Kun is a vampire, buying humans in exchange for immortality. He wanted to buy you and your house, but love changes everything. Convincing each other to be something you’re not. Kun wants to turn you into a vampire, but you want him to embrace being a human. Will Kun leave his family for you? Or you will accept the immortality he offers?

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: mentions of car crash, family loss, Vanilla sex, depression from family loss, bloodsucking, virginity loss, unprotected sex, swearing, major character death, blood, mentions of alcohol, depression

A/N: Salem’s Lot is a handful but great book. I can’t follow the entire plot of Stephen King’s work, so heres my version of it. This is also inspired by Vampires VS. The Bronx... HAHAHA so, here. And sorry if the ending is SLIGHTLY close to my Jaehyun’s Body, but I plotted this first so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Tag list: @jimjamjaemin @inseonqt @thefouranemoi @jaehyunoos @sunshinedhyuck @neospirited @shanghai-lu @loeygotospacenow @mal-nakamoto23 @svteencarat @commentgirl @yukine-smx (I hope I did not missed anyone)

NEWS FLASH: The family of the famous writer Y/N, died in a car crash on their way to the airport for a family trip to Hawaii. All four passengers are dead on arrival including the driver. The funeral will be closed and private, as per the writer Y/N’s request.

The sky has your favorite shade of orange when you arrived at the house. Home, you thought. Always the same big house that you grew up to. It’s been almost ten years since you step foot in this house and seeing it again for the first time made you regret every Christmas that you purposely missed just so you can avoid spending time with your family. And besides feeling that you’re home, you feel regret suffocating you. What was I thinking, you murmured. This house used to be filled with laughter and happiness. Nights where you and your family will watch TV together in the living room with all the lights closed, countless meals together and talking about random stuff while eating, drinking coffee with your mother, playing board games with your brother. But now, the house is filled with dust and despair.

The house feels cold and dirty but either way, it’s what you need. You would rather feel the emptiness of this big house and miss your family than be alone in your apartment. Maybe being home can make you write something worth reading for again, maybe being home will help you be alive again. Losing your whole family is a different kind of pain. The word ‘alone’ does not cover what you’re feeling right now.

It has been nine months since the accident but the sad news is still fresh in your heart that sometimes when you remember it, you just turned into stone and start crying out of nowhere. Thankfully, the town was understanding enough about what you’re going through in life. They were all careful not to make you remember your family’s death, and made sure to take care of you in ways that they can.

“I see some stores are closing? What happened to Miguel’s Ice Cream shop?” you asked Sophie, the owner of the small grocery store in town. You’ve known her since you were just a little girl, and your mother and father helped her grow her business.

“Well, since your father’s death there's this vampire family who’s been buying the whole town. One by one, Qian Properties. Offering money and immortality as payments” she says. The worry in her tone is quite evident as if she knew that vampires will soon knock on her store and offer her the same thing. Money and immortality.

After your family’s passing, the world has gone mad like they took every good thing from this world with them on their graves. Crazy how in nine months the things that are used to be fiction like vampires, are now the new normal. Everything happened so fast. Their kind grew and grew and now their population covers over almost 1/4 of the world. Vampires school, condominiums for vampires, hotel ran by vampires, humans being vampires. It’s crazy. But even though the world has gone mad, it doesn’t bother you because the pain that you’re dealing with right now is taking too much of your sanity.

As months slowly pass by, even though you hate writing right now, you still try and find your way back to loving what you used to do for a living. Writing was everything to you. There’s no greater feeling than sharing something you’ve created to the world, show it entirely, and watch the people love every bit of that thick thing we called a book. You lost your spark with writing when the accident happened and it changed your life. Everything you published became the talk of the world, people hating it and blaming what happened to your family. It was your darkest time. Losing your family and watching your career end.

You type, delete over and over again, and tried writing your feelings away until you see the sun setting again. A good reminder to call it a day. Then someone rang your doorbell. You quickly grabbed your robe and make your way downstairs, you see a man’s figure on the other side of the gate, wearing a nice suit, black trousers, and nice leather shoes.

“Good evening. I hope I did not interrupt you, I’m Qian Kun” he offered his hand for you to shake it which you accepted with a straight face. Qian. The family name of the vampires who are buying properties in this town and you’re not stupid to not know what he came here for. You wanted to shoo him away and tell him that you’re not interested in anything that he will offer. You have a lot of money and you don’t need immortality.

You crossed your arms and waited for him to talk more. “May I come in? I’m looking forward to this meeting for quite some time now” he says. You turned around and did not say anything but left the gate wide open. “Please” he added and he sounded desperate.

“Mr. Qian, I left the door open. What are you waiting for?”

“I- I suppose you don’t know that vampires cannot come in unless you invite them in” you didn’t of course.

“I’m sorry. I did not know. Please come in”

When you two settled in the living room, he started the conversation by introducing himself. You notice that he’s well mannered, polite, and careful with his words. He doesn’t sound fake like the monsters who pretend to care for you in the writing industry. Kun was straightforward without offending you, intimidating but not enough to make you feel small. He stated his intentions very clearly, “As a firstborn, I want my family to have a nice home. And this house is perfect. You will not be homeless, of course. We will find you a new house, cash, and immortality” he says.

You couldn’t agree more with what Kun told you. But the reason that he’s here to buy your house is something you can’t let him do. Even if he’s polite, nice, and handsome if you’re being honest. You can’t let him take away your home.

“It’s good that you love your family so much and you’re taking care of them. Something that I regret not doing” you take a sip from your coffee before you continue saying something that will bring you to tears, “are you aware that I lost my family, about a year ago?” you were calm when you said it, but it still hurt like hell. Admitting that they’re gone.

Kun was speechless. He felt like he ruined your peace and your time to mourn your family but most of all, it felt like he’s disrespecting you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know” is all he can say.

“I have way too much money and I don’t want immortality. Thank you for your offer, but this is all I’ve got”

“I cherish my family too. I have a family and we don't have a home, you don’t have a family but you have a home. Be part of us, we can be your family”

You got offended, but still, there’s not enough reason to burst out and be hysterical. You gave him a small smile and shook your head, “Good luck finding a home Mr. Qian. I admire you taking care of your family”

The night ended coldly, both disappointed with personal reasons. Although he felt sorry about his visit, he still got his eyes on the prize. Kun will stand his ground and will try over and over again until you say yes to his offer. You, on the other hand, don’t know why you have a soft spot for the vampire even though he already offended you. Maybe it’s because you were moved for his honest reasons that you can’t let out your anger towards him even if you force yourself. He was just trying and finding his family a stable home, no need to get mad, you said to yourself.

As days go by, the vampire did not give up as expected. He continued his visit and greet you with the sweetest smile. He tried pursuing you, giving you flowers, bringing you books to read, chocolates, fruits, anything that crosses his mind that will try to change your decision. He was desperate for his family’s sake and it was obvious.

Sophie said that Qian properties chose this place because it’s far from the city. There’s a lot of trees and the neighborhood is peaceful. “That’s why he’s desperate. Your father made this town great. Don’t let that Qian family eat up of what your father built” she says sternly.

You walked alone to your house with a bag of take out, thinking of other ways to make your meal even more delicious. Since you’re alone in life, you don’t have someone to cook you a decent meal. When you were living alone in the city, you have your manager cook you good food. But now that you’re completely alone, you just have to make the best out of this take out.

“Hi” of course the vampire waited for you to come home. You smiled and let out a small laugh because both of his hands are carrying grocery bags.

“What are you doing? I have food and enough stocks for a whole family, and I live alone” It was a joke. You giggle and opened the gate, this time you did not forget to invite him in.

“That’s not why I’m here. I’m here as a friend a new vampire friend- Let me cook for you please, I need a friend”

Hearing him say those words made you think that Kun is a blessing in disguise. Finally, decent food. You don’t want to admit but having Kun’s company tonight made you feel happy. Not genuinely happy of course, but it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Surprisingly, he’s talkative but not annoying. The words that came out from his mouth made sense to the point that you’re learning new things from him. He was right, he’s here as a friend and not as a buyer of your house.

“Why do you want my house so bad?” you asked. Stirring the spaghetti sauce that he made.

“Hmm. I thought I’m here as a friend?” he smiles and refuses to answer your question. He looked handsome up close, but his unbelievably white skin is scary. It reminded you that he’s a vampire.

“Well okay, if you don’t want to answer that question. I didn’t know vampires eat. I thought you only drink blood from humans” you quickly changed the subject so he can feel comfortable.

“I love food and I love cooking. It’s my guilty pleasure. It doesn’t make me full, but if what I made taste good then I’m satisfied” he answered your question with a big smile. Proud and happy to talk about how he loves cooking.

For someone who doesn’t have a soul, Kun is a vampire full of life. You listen to him talk about the things he sees on TV and watches his eyes show you and tell you how he’s curious about the world. He’s well aware that there's so much you can do in a lifetime, he wanted to learn many things and go around the world. He’s almost more human than you are. “Well if you have all these dreams of yours why don’t you embrace life instead of living in the shadows for your family?” you hope he answers your question this time.

“My family is more important than my dreams and my wants in life. The things that I long for will forever be in this world, but my family can die anytime-“ he realized what he just said, “I’m- I’m sorry. I got carried away. Please- Uh, how’s the food?” he tried changing the subject but it was too late.

He’s right. Everything he said is right and you’re realizing it just now, “I wish I met you before my family died. Unlike you, I chose my dreams and turned my back against my family. And now I’m regretting it. Don’t worry, you didn’t offend me and the food is great. Really great” your tone was slowly turning sad and gloomy. The vampire was quick to be concerned but he can’t do anything to help you heal. So, he changed the mood and joked about offering you immortality and you argued with him and tried convincing him to embrace being human. It was a friendly debate that made him blush and your heart flutter.

Kun hates lying, even to himself. As he listens and watches you speak very closely while you drink your wine, he's slowly liking you and he's not afraid of what he's feeling right now. He loves how you talk about the things you've experienced already like he's listening to a book about wonders. You must be a great writer. The whole time you were talking about your first book to him, he was really impressed by your talent but he can't listen to you further. Instead, he just admired you closely.

Then he kissed you.

He noticed how your lips were plump and red because of the red wine and the kiss was something he can’t control because he wanted to do it. “I’m not sorry about the kiss, I wanted to do it” at least he was honest about what he feels. "Please continue your story" and so you did, but this time you were smiling from ear to ear.

Good things come to an end. You felt that you went out on a date with Kun when the night ended. You felt nothing but happiness, butterflies in your stomach, cheeks hurt because of too much smiling. He flashed those handsome dimples of his and waved goodbye to you. Neither of you wanted to end the night so early but he had to go home to his family.

The next day, while you were trying so hard to put what you feel into writing, you look over the window and hope to see Kun’s figure outside your huge gate. But no, he’s not there. Until the sun is finally setting again and the sky turned into your favorite shade of orange, you were disappointed but only for a short span of time.

The same thing happened for a week. You waited for the vampire to show up outside your gate, but he never did. Maybe he finally gave up.

One fine beautiful evening, you were reading the books Kun gave you while you enjoy a cup of warm tea then your doorbell rang three times that it almost sounded so desperate for attention. Finally, the figure that you’ve been meaning to see showed up. You welcome him in like an old friend and he greets you with an exhausted smile. He looked tired and dull you noticed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t show up for days” you haven’t seen each other for a week and the first words you heard from him are apologies. “I was busy running the family business” he clears his throat and sat comfortably on the couch.

“Which is?” you asked.

“Buying humans so my family name will forever live,” he said oh so cooly. Surprising you with honestly again that never bothered you. In fact, he continues to surprise you. “And looking for a new town to buy” he added. You noticed during your long walks that people in this town continue embracing immortality in exchange for their establishments and loyalty for Qian properties. It sounds complicated, their business, but really it’s not hard to understand. It’s like a normal business that buys and sells properties and a big company that needed a lot of staff. But for Qian properties, lives are involved.

“What happens to the people you turn to vampires?”

“Besides being rich, they will have a long life, my family owns them and as long as they live, they will work for my family. But I can assure you that their lives are safe. We don’t harm them, rather we help them adjust to this new life they swore to- How are you?”

His sudden concern for you caught you off guard that you smiled and became shy in front of him. He’s not here as a businessman again, he’s here as your friend, Kun. Whom you kissed and waited for his presence every day.

“I waited for you every day” he smiled at your honesty. But then, his smile slowly fades away. He holds his chest and pretends that he’s okay to not make you worry. “I’m not stupid you’re hungry. When was the last time you drank blood?” you brought him to your kitchen to give him a plate of raw steak. But he told you steak does not cover it. You were trying so hard to help him ease his hunger. Then you realized, you have blood.

“Try not to kill me? Or turn me?” you exposed your collar bones to him and standup in between his legs. He was sitting on the kitchen counter like a bored teenager with a bottle of water in his hand. He let out a cute laugh and fixed your robe.

“No. I can’t do that to you. I’m not here to ask for blood. I’m just tired and pressured because of my family. I just needed to see you” he smiled so sweetly again, making you fall in love with his gaze. Even though he’s tired and weak to the core he can still make your heart flutter.

“I’m not going to take no for an answer. If you don’t drink my blood, you can never see me again” it was a dangerous bargain but you had to try. You came closer to him, felt his cold skin, smelled his cologne, and hope that he smells your blood. It was a struggle for him and he enjoys your sweet torture. Until he finally gave in.

“Just one swig,” he says.

“That’s all I want to happen. Please, you look dead” you insist.

He took his time untying your robe, remove it from you and watch it hit the tiled kitchen floor. He kissed your neck like the gentleman that he is making you weak and let out soft moans. His lips are cold and it sends a shiver straight to your spine. Then he bit you. Drank your blood like he’s just kissing your neck. It felt like you’re high on drugs, everything kept spinning and the moment he stopped. You feel weak and he was quick to catch you with his strong arms. Kun kissed the part where he had bit you a few seconds ago and kissed you all the way from your collar bone, neck, chin, and finally your lips.

Everything turned slow. Like a moment being kept for safekeeping and no one dares to move too fast. Scared to ruin such a beautiful moment.

You took him to your room and there you two continued that beautiful moment. He watched you remove your clothes in between his legs as he comfortably sits on the edge of your queen-sized bed. Once you discarded all your clothes and exposed your bare body to him, his hands roam freely around your body. It’s his first time, he whispered. “I’ll try not to disappoint you” he promised.

While you help him remove his clothes, Kun learned to kiss your body. He was shy but you told him he doesn’t have to. He learned to kiss your chest, the valley between your boobs and your stomach. “Why are you avoiding my boobs?” you asked with a slight giggle, waiting for his lips to brush your perked nipple and make you shiver. He looked at you directly in the eye as he starts sucking your left nipple, then he turned to your right boob, and in a matter of minutes, he finally learned how to use his tongue. You gasped and breathed in deeply as you were just standing in between his legs, naked, shivering, and moaning at the things he’s been doing to you.

“You’re going to make me cum undone” you informed him. He stopped and leaned back, admiring your swollen nipples as if he’s proud of his work.

“Is that a bad thing?” he asked oh so innocently.

“No” you pushed him slowly to the mattress, “But I’d rather cum in other different ways,” you said. This time it’s your turn to kiss his cold body and let him experience the pleasure he’s been giving you. His low groans were music to your ears when you licked his nipples while you unbutton his pants and remove it swiftly leaving him only with his boxers briefs.

Given that this is his first time, you decided to stay on top tonight and take charge. You kissed his abs, feel it with your hands, and took time kissing his lower abdomen, making the vampire impatient and push his underwear down so your lips can finally make contact with his cock. You gave him his first blow job, sucking his dick slowly and pumping it over and over again until it’s really hard and thick. “I promise to give you a proper blowjob someday” you crawled on top of him until your wet folds are coating his cock with your pussy juices.

“I can get addicted to you, you know that?” he says and smiled before you reach for his lips to distract him as you line his cock to your entrance and slowly sink down on him. His reaction was something you will never forget, the sound that he made once he’s fully inside you. You intertwined your fingers with him before you roll your hips deliciously.

“Ready?”

“Yeah- Oh, ahh” he part his lips and did not get shy anymore as he continues to let out his moans and feel your warm walls around him. He pulled your body closer to him, wanting to never leave those beautiful lips of yours. You made his arms rest on your hips, as you bounce up and down on his cock with utmost care. There’s no need to go wild and crazy for tonight. Everything is perfect.

“I’m close” he admitted. But you didn’t stop moving your hips.

“Can you make me pregnant?” you cage his head with your arms, your face is close to him so you can nip his lower lip and kiss him every second.

“I can’t” he answers your question. There was a slight disappointment of course. But this is not the right time to think about having kids.

“What are you waiting for? Let go and cum inside me”

Kun did what you said and had the time of his life, enjoying his first orgasm from having sex. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t cum tonight, Kun’s cock felt great and that alone satisfies you. He didn’t let you go for some time, you stayed on top of him as he continues to kiss and talk to you while he still enjoys your warmth.

Soon, you lay beside him and covered you with your clean thick sheets. You talked some more, about things that are intimate and are for the two of you only. You never felt so happy being in the arms of a… vampire. You felt alive again but you don’t say it out loud, you just wanted to bask at this moment with Kun and feel the happiness flood your heart.

“How are you feeling?” you asked. Maybe he needed more blood?

“I’m feeling just fine. Thank you. And I’m not talking about the sex and your blood. Thank you for letting me in your life” he was holding your hand while drawing small circles using his cold thumb.

That night, you two slept really late and talked more about life and the things you wanted. You learned that the two of you are very different from each other but you’re ready to love him deeply and he’s ready to take great risk for you too. And you think the beauty of loving someone so different from you is a different kind of great love.

Kun’s cold figure still hugs you tightly when you wake up the next day. The morning light hits his skin perfectly that he shines effortlessly. “fuck” you muttered and quickly tried getting out from his cold embrace to close the curtains. But he tugs you even closer to his body making you panic even more, “are you hurt?”

“No” he kissed you good morning and sweetly requests, “can we stay a little bit longer like this? I still don’t want to face the day”

You raked his hair away from his face and gave him his morning kisses, “we can stay like this forever” you said.

“Does that mean you’re accepting immortality?-“

“That’s not what I meant”

“Oh”

Even so, being human and vampire in a relationship did not stop you two from loving each other without bounds. Every day has been nothing but happiness with Kun even though you both have your own disappointments with yourselves. You’re disappointed with writing, he’s disappointed with his family’s business. Every bit of the relationship was not easy but you two chose to be happy together every day and face each day together.

He starts calling your house his home because you are his home and you don’t mind him calling you that. It makes you happy. Every day, when the sky turns to your favorite shade of orange, Kun will ring your doorbell and you will welcome him home with kisses and warm hugs.

Soon, you two became confident about telling each other everything about your family. And for the first time, talking about them didn’t make you sad, but rather happy because you can share that part of your life with Kun who listens to every word you say attentively. He told you that his mom was the one who told him to give you books to read, give you flowers and treat you with respect. His stories about his family make you want to meet them someday. It will not be easy but, “We will get here eventually”

Speaking of eventually, he finally learned how to fuck after a few nights of making love with Kun. He finally became confident in bed, making you moan his name over and over again. Memorizing every inch of the places you loved being touched the most. Oh, he’s a fast learner and a great one if you’re being honest to the point that night after night you grip the sheets so hard because he was fucking you good.

Perfect. Everything is perfect.

“Good morning” you greet him with loving kisses as always before you make your coffee. He’s still shirtless and just wearing his pajamas while he makes breakfast. You hugged him from behind and enjoy his cold skin on a beautiful warm morning. “Can we stay like this forever?” you asked, hugging him tightly.

“Is that a yes for immortality?” he’s serious when it comes to ‘immortality’ but it never annoyed you because it’s his love language. You understand him.

“I want to be with my family, Kun” you bit his shoulder playfully and placed soft kisses after. He loves it when you do that.

“And I don’t want to watch you die,” he asked for a kiss on lips, which you gave happily.

“Why are we having this conversation?” you roll your eyes.

“You’re right. I love you, I’m sorry”

See. Push and pull. And it’s a decision that one day you’re going to face and not even ‘i love yous’, ‘i’m sorry’, hugs or kisses will solve that problem for you. Someday he will not joke about it. And you’re scared because the question is, family or Kun?

During the day, you kept thinking about the conversation you had with Kun before breakfast. It made you think hard and ran through every loophole. You imagined life without Kun, you imagined him watch you die in a hospital bed, and you imagine not being with your family ever again. Every decision broke your heart.

When Kun finally came home, you try shrugging the thought of making a decision one day and admire your boyfriend as he is about to prepare you dinner.

Having a very handsome vampire in your kitchen cooking you good food is definitely one for the books. It’s like watching a live cooking show and you’re the only audience who can taste what he’s cooking. The way he walks around and smiles at you from time to time is making you feel things you shouldn’t be feeling. Heck, even watching him sprinkle salt and pepper, chop the peppers, and squeeze some lemon is making your heart jump.

Such a waste.

All these talents for singing, great skills at the kitchen, handsome face… And yet he chose to live in darkness. You have nothing against the vampire, he didn’t choose to be born as a bloodsucker, but he did choose to serve his family. His number one mistake, honestly speaking.

“If you’re not a vampire, what would you want to be?” you asked him bluntly, sipping on your wine while you watch him cook. “I hope you know that you’re talented and that if you embrace being a human you can be many things. For starters, you can be a cook at a famous restaurant or a pilot”

“Are we seriously having this conversation?” he chuckles, turns off the stove and faced you, leaning on the kitchen counter, looking handsome as ever, “Do me a favor and imagine yourself being 200 years old still looking young and beautiful. Or being happily married for hundreds of years. With me” he left a kiss on your forehead and goes back to plating the food.

The words ‘happily married’ doesn’t sound so bad.

“So you’re telling me that if we stayed like this, vampire and human, and I’m finally old and wrinkly, you won’t love me anymore?” you tease him, not letting him know that the idea of being married affects you.

“Why can’t we have a normal dinner without being on each other’s throats? Come on let’s eat. Grab the wine please,” he offered his cold hand to help you come down from the stool and go together to the dining area.

Before eating he did notice you were spacing out, he puts down his spoon and fork and reached for your hand. “Look at me,” he says, “Vampire or not I’m going to marry you and we’ll live happily together”

“You promise?”

“I promise. Now, come on eat. Tell me if it’s delicious, I just learned this from the cooking show I’ve been watching”

The constant push and pull continued. Your relationship has always been a never-ending convincing each other to be something you’re not. But ever since you let Kun in your life happiness is present in your life again and you’re worried that maybe someday that happiness will be taken away from you again. Kun is literally the reason why you smile first thing in the morning and sleep peacefully at night.

After having dinner and you two are ready for bed, you can’t stop thinking about the conversation you had this morning. The decision you’ve been thinking about has been running in your mind the whole day but there's another thought that’s been bugging you all along and you’ve been wanting to ask Kun.

“Can you really not die?”

He must be tired. He closed his eyes and kept you close. You wait for his answer but it seems like he doesn’t want to keep the conversation. Then he looks at you, “I can. I just have to be careful. I can die like how humans die except for dying at old age” he explains and you don’t want to pry further. “I'm scared of dying, you know. There’s so much I want to do in my life even before I met you. But since then I became even more scared to death. This world holds everything important to me, my family, and you. I can’t die” he answered your question honestly of course.

The next day, Kun woke up before you because he’s been planning to do something lately but can’t execute his plans correctly. He was about to do it last night but you asked him a heavy question so he didn’t have a choice but to set aside his intentions first.

He carefully opened the bedside drawer and reached for the tiny object inside. Since he doesn’t know anything about romance, he doesn’t know how to propose beautifully to you. So he went for something he’s confident with. Honesty. He grabs your hand and slips the ring on your finger, carefully but his movements still woke you up.

Any girl would freak out seeing her boyfriend propose to her the moment she opens her eyes in the morning. The diamond is quite big and it made you gasp. Not that you cared about the rock but the fact that Kun just proposed to you the moment you wake up is just enough reason to panic.

But he made a ’Shh’ sign that made you follow him and kept yourself quiet. You feel your heart thumping and beating so fast at this moment that you want to burst out of happiness already but Kun is calm in front of you. Just calm.

“Listen” all you hear are birds chirping and comfortable silence, “peaceful right?” you nod your head, “Let’s never break that peace in our relationship. I don't know how to make things easier for us but let's start with, no more push and pull. Last night I promised you that vampire or not, I’m gonna marry you and this is me keeping that promise. I would rather watch you die at old age, wrinkly and weak than lose you” He kissed your hand, and the panic that you’ve been savoring is long forgotten. Instead of screaming your lungs out because of too much happiness, you kissed each other and engraved that beautiful moment in your hearts.

And because you and Kun have been living together for quite some time now, you’ve become the talk of the town. Everyone thought that Kun is keeping you hostage and is only using you to get the house and to get the whole town. Even though he has been really successful in buying lives lately and earning the people’s loyalty in this town, the ones who strongly refused Kun’s offer is now making a plot behind his back.

A plot where they plan to kill him and save you. They’re just waiting for the perfect timing to strike the vampire.

“He’s just using you to get the house. Of course, he had to marry you so he can have legal rights to your house. Trust me, that vampire will leave you” Sophie hated Kun so much that when you told her that you’re engaged she didn’t take it lightly. The old woman shoos you out of her store and told you to be smarter. It’s sad how she can’t see that you’re really happy with Kun.

When you got home from grocery shopping, you wait for Kun to arrive before you leave him for one night to meet your manager back to the city. It pains you to be away from Kun. It’s like there's this magnet that’s keeping you near him and stopping you from leaving the house but finally, you finished a good book. All thanks to Kun. Your manager wanted to meet you so you can work on the details and finally, go back to the world and show everyone how you’ve been.

“The city is great. You sure you don’t want to come? There's a lot of vampires in the city-“

“And my fiance is a famous writer. Who’s about to have her come back to the industry that she loves. I don’t want to give you a problem before you can even go back out there. People will not take it lightly if they see you with me” he kissed you and hope that you will not argue with him further.

“But we just got engaged. I don’t want to be away from you” you pout like a little girl.

“Well then come home soon” he smiles sweetly to you and finally made you stop your whining.

Leaving home never felt so wrong. But you realized, he’s right. You just have to come home soon.

When you were back in the city and in the familiar office of your manager, you can’t help but feel out of place. Is this really what you want? Because if your manager agrees to publish this new work of yours, that means you have to leave home again. You have to leave Kun and live in the city. Something you think you can’t handle. It's like making the same mistakes again.

“I love it! You’re back- amazing work. I have to meet this vampire that you’re talking about. The one who inspired you to write this beautiful masterpiece. Ugh! Welcome back!” he exclaims excitedly. But his approval did not make you excited or anything. You’re happy of course, but you’ve been thinking about coming home and telling Kun the good news.

“Are we done here?”

“Uh- yes, bu-“

“Great. Call me if you need anything. I have to go home now. Thank you” you shake his hand and bid him goodbye. You were quick to get out of there and head home already. The plan was to stay the night in your old apartment, but you can’t. You really can’t. It’s almost 3 in the morning and Kun must be sleeping already because he hasn’t answered your calls. You drove excitedly while playing with the ring on your finger, thinking about how to spend the following days with Kun as an engaged couple.

When you finally arrived in town, people in their sleep wears welcomes you in the street. But their faces looked worried and concerned. What’s happening, you murmured. Since a lot of people are blocking the street you decided to get out of the car and check what’s happening.

“Y/n… the house….” someone shouted.

“My house?” you ran as fast as you can to see what they’re talking about. Hoping that everything is fine and that Kun is safe and not inside the house.

Then you see it.

It was your favorite shade of orange. Eating your house, ruining your home. You watched the house burn and you never thought that watching it will make you hate something you used to love ever since you were just a kid. You wanted the bright colors to fade. Your hands are shaking as you call for help. Screaming at the top of your lungs as people try to stop you from running towards your house.

“Kun!” you screamed and asked for him but no one is answering you.

Sophie tried to make you listen to her while you push everyone away. “I’m sorry. We had to do this. The town was slowly dying and turning into a vampire town. Y/n! He will leave you in the end or worst, he will change you” she was apologizing but you didn’t want to listen to her anymore. You slapped the old woman and tried to kick her with all your might but the people are quick to stop you.

The fire spread so fast that Kun didn’t have time to save himself. He tried calling for help but the lines were already cut. It’s obvious the fire was planned. He was trying so hard to escape death, coughing and covering his mouth, crying while he bangs through the door that seems to be locked from the outside. I don’t want to die. He repeats over and over again, thinking about his family, his brothers, and of course you.

But he couldn’t go out. He banged through the door until his last breath and strength but it did nothing. Soon the fire ate him and all he can do is scream through the pain, cry, and accept death.

The next thing you know, you’re at the hospital. You see your manager sleeping on the couch. Tears started falling but you don’t know why. On top of that, your heart feels heavy. It’s a familiar feeling, you thought. Like when the news that your family died reached you.

Then you see your ring. And suddenly you understand why you started crying out of nowhere and why that familiar feeling of losing someone is back.

Kun is dead.

And once again you’re back to rock bottom but this time you don’t have a home or a place to help you heal.

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