#i was hoping id just had them on too long but NOOOOO

[meteoritesystem]

OHHHH TBE HORRORS <- rash from bandaid

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #028

“i wear my blue jeans very tight; please the ladies every night  /  they put money in my hat, makes their husbands so upset”

Has anyone ever asked you if you were bipolar? Yes, because I am. Who’s the last person that slept over your house? My boyfriend. How would you feel if your last ex fell in love with someone else? I hope she does. Do you know anyone who died of breast cancer? No, but I know survivors. Which one of your friends is the funniest? Girt, always. Would you ever forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend for cheating on you? Nope, see ya. Would you date someone 8 years older than you? Yeah. That gap isn't my preference, but it's not too big a deal. Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? Sure don't. Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of the year? No. I usually deny myself this, but I have absolutely grown, at least a little bit. Who was the last person to compliment you? Uhhhh idk. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Nooooo, my face will say it. I'm BAD at keeping emotions entirely internalized. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life? I absofuckinglutely would, I don't want to even picture that. Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? I've long since wanted this for him. I didn't once upon a time, but that hateful bitch is dead to me. Ever taken a picture kissing someone? Yes. Did you have a kaleidoscope when you were little? I did, I loved those. Would you ever go to the Galapagos Islands? If I had the chance, I absolutely would!! I would LOVE to see marine iguanas. Have you ever sent naked pictures of yourself to someone? No. I'm not against people doing it (so long as they are ADULTS and it is done completely consensually), I just sure as hell ain't doing it with the body I have. Have you ever been in a corn maze? I... think I have? Has one of your parents gotten laid off from their job? Yes. I think? Have you ever wondered what it’s like to have sex on a trampoline? ... Well NOW I have. Do you know anyone who got sent to a mental institution? Uh, me. I know I have at least two other friends who have been hospitalized as well. What do you think is the most beautiful language? In complete, total seriousness, I really do say German. I know people tend to think it sounds ugly and aggressive, but it's capable of just being beautiful, too. What is the weirdest music video you’ve ever seen? I don't have an insanely strong opinion, but I can very confidently say the one to Rammstein's "Mein Teil" is HIGH up there. I've watched the behind-the-scenes shit and everything and I STILL don't understand what the actual fuck is going on or how it relates to the song and I'm just,,,,,, confused lmao. Do you watch porn? Nah, it's not for me. Would you ever go to Mexico? I'd probably go, yeah. What do you think would be the most painful piercing to get? Genitalia or tongue, probably, with just how many nerves there are. I got my tongue pierced twice, and the first time I literally got dizzy, and the second time I actually got seriously nauseous from the pain. Man, I wish I hadn't kept chomping down on either of the balls and damaging teeth, because snake eyes are CUTE. I loved them. Would you ever have sex in a public place? No, because I have common decency. Have you ever swam naked? No. Have you ever spread a rumor? No. Have you ever written a short story? Yep. Have you ever used a fake ID? No. Have you ever ridden a 4-wheeler? I have, they're fun. Have you ever made your parents cry? Sadly. Can you whistle? Nope. I used to be able to. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Can you lick your elbow? No. Would you ever have an abortion? Yes. It would honestly probably be a traumatic experience for me simply because of how long I was pro-life and how nightmarish the stigma is, but yes I would have one. i hope beyond hope I am never put into this situation, though. Would you ever go out with somebody of the same sex? I'm pan, I'd date someone no matter what they identified as. How about kiss your boy/girlfriend with your parents watching? Yeah, if it's just a quick, simple kiss. What about cuss in front of family? I know myself WAY too well to say no. I am very diligent about not cursing in front of my nieces and nephews, but if I was pissed off enough, I know I would. Did you kiss in any previous relationship? Jason and Sara, that was normal, and I also kissed Tyler once and very much regret it. Did you have sex in any previous relationship? Jason and I did practically every little thing you could do skirting around it, but ultimately still no. If not, what was the closet you got to sex? I'm not sharing. Did you meet any of the parents? I met Jason's and Sara's parents. If so, did they like you? Yes, fantastic people. Were you in love with any of them? I was madly fucking in love with Jason. Before I got serious with Girt and was reminded exactly what it felt like, I also thought that I'd experienced it with Sara, but I didn't. Have you had a long distance relationship? Yep. Whats the weirdest thing you’ve done on an elevator? Nothing? What do you think about most? I honestly think it's actually the future I pray I have with Girt. What is your youngest cousins name? No clue. Do say soda, soft drink, or pop? We say "soda" 'round here. What’s your crushes/bf's middle name? He doesn't have one actually, I'm assuming because he's already a Jr. Have you ever snuck someone in to your house? Nope. When was the last time you took painkillers? I take a daily painkiller for my legs that does absolutely nothing; I'm on like the minimum dose, and that needs to change. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else’s garden without asking? No, that's very rude. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? I loved swimming. My little sister and I would sometimes convince our dad to put the pool up on the first day of spring, and even though the water was obviously freezing, we'd get in anyway, lol. Have you ever been close to drowning? No, thankfully. Who is your favorite philosopher? I don’t have one. If someone doesn’t like you, do you usually want to know the reason? Well yes, because I think we should always be willing to grow in the case that someone has a valid reason for disliking you. Hear 'em out, consider their point(s). What was the last picture you were in? Mom snapped a picture or my nephew Ryder and I sitting together in the recliner. Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) Oh I have no clue. What was the first social media site you ever used? MySpace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? Yes, Tyler. I wasn't into him and was just willing to try seeing where we went. I mean we were only together for like two weeks or so, but still, waste of time. Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview? Oh, I've exaggerated. What brought about the end of the worst relationship you’ve been in? I consider my worst relationship to be with Jason when you consider how unhealthy it really was, and what ended it was him no longer being able to outlast my depression. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? Well my disowned uncle is in the process of getting sued by his own sisters and brother for being an absolute piece of fucking horse shit, so yes. Do you know anyone who practices Hinduism? Not that I know of. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? February of 2017. Wow... five whole years. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? My bed. Sleeping on couches is so uncomfortable imo. Who is the hardest working person you know? My mother, like holy shit. Can you name any songs by Godsmack? Yeah, I know a decent amount. "Voodoo" is a classic. Who’s one of the most talented people you know? What are they talented at? Oh, GOD. Who to even pick. You know what, I'm just going with idk, because I honestly know and/or am related to many talented individuals. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes, I strongly prefer those for getting body wash off. What color is your best friend’s hair? It's black, but he's insecure about having a lot of gray for his age too because it apparently runs in the family, the poor thing hates it, haha. What was the last event that was a turning point in your life? Honestly? Ending Sara's and my friendship. It was an act of self-love, and it just helped me a lot mentally. What’s your favorite setting in nature? (mountains, beach, desert, etc…) Mountains. I would love to like, stand in a valley in-between ginormous mountains and just exist for a little while. Do you know anyone who got engaged while still in high school? You know, I'm quite sure Colleen got engaged in HS. Bless her fucking husband, I couldn't STAND how that bitch treated him. Are you friendly to retail employees? Always. This should not be as hard as people make it seem. What breed was the last dog you saw? Oakley is a purebred chocolate lab. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No. Do you know anyone in a relationship with someone who’s old enough to be their parent? I don’t think so. Do you have any Italian heritage? Not that I know of; I don't think my dad really knows much of his heritage, but our last name is Irish, so we know that much. What has been your favorite job you’ve ever had? I didn't like any job I've had. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Like with both people speaking it, that would be my former German teacher. I want to say we had an over-the-phone test like... once a week or two? God, that was a long time ago. Mom likes to ask me what's being sung in Rammstein songs a lot though, and depending on how she phrases the question, sometimes I tell her the English translation as well as the actual lyrics. Has the last person you kissed ever treated you disrespectfully? No; he's always been considerate of my feelings. I can say he's asked something he really shouldn't have once, but it feels inaccurate to call it disrespectful. Do you know anyone who has had a miscarriage? I know too many people who have. It is sadly very common. What’s the most likes you’ve ever gotten on a tweet? (if you use Twitter) I don't use it. Do you know anyone who has lost their home in a natural disaster? A middle school classmate of mine lost his home to a fire.

[contrispos]

Episode 8 - Reunion

[Star Wars: The Bad Batch]

WARNING: This thing is long AF

—

Oh no… oh shit… stop… Okay I’ve missed Mr Toothpick here we go

PLEASE LET HIM GO

LET HIM BE WITH HIS BROTHERS AGAIN GODDAMMIT

“It’s Clone Force 99” with a completely monotone voice… stop…

Can Lama Su stop calling them Experimental Unit 99??? THEY ARE SOLDIERS BITCH GIVE THEM SOME RESPECT

TERMINATE THEM?????????? FUCK YOU RAMPASS

Omega is so focused I love it🥺

Wrecker really knows his stuff… so much for being the dumb one(no offense)

Oh my god I know the stress she’s going through… gosh I hope Wrecker has a brain and doesn’t actually blow the whole thing up

YES UNCLE WRECKER

Mom is coming… Dad wants you back on the cruiser

ECHO DID A SUPERHERO LANDING

Awwwwwww I can’t with Wrecker and Omega🥺🥺🥺🥺

FUCK YOU SCRAPPERFUCKS

OH YEAH

THIS IS THE SOLDIER STUFF I CAME FOR

Can Omega stop being the cutest thing ever??

“That’s not comforting” Tech… I can’t explain how much I love you okay???

I got a bit of a heart attack when Wrecker hit his head AGAIN… but then I remembered the last episode…

TECH WHY DIDN’T YOU SHAVE THE OTHER SIDE??????? YOU HAD A CHANCE TO ACCEPT YOUR PUNK SIDE COME ON!!!!!!

Tech’s helmet is the cutest thing, he constantly looks like a little puppy🥺

I don’t like Hunter’s helmet tho… can’t explain it

Wrecker’s undying love for explosives, I can’t

No shit Tech, the lights LITERALLY JUST TURNED ON OF COURSE THE POWER IS BACK

TECH STOP BEING CUTE

I KNOW IT’S JUST HIS VOICE BUT IT’S CUTE AS HELL

THE WAY HE SAYS OMEGA

Echo… Just join Rex goddammit we know you want to

Is it just me or did Echo’s accent just fuck up a bit?? He almost sounded drunk… aRE yOu dRuNk?

YES IT’S THE TECH SCENE FROM THE TRAILER

HE’S TINKERING

TINKER ON BOY

COME ON TECH CAN YOU JUST GET PROPER ARMOR FOR GODS SAKE???? PROTECT YOUR THIGHS!!! PROTECT YOUR NECK!!!!! PROTECT YOUR BALLS I MEAN COME ON

Oh Tech my sweet, sweet darling Tech… JUST TALK ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS!!!! TALK ABOUT THE STRESS YOU WERE UNDER DURING THE WAR!!!! TALK ABOUT YOUR FEAR OF LOSING YOUR BROTHERS!!!! I WANT TO BE HURT REAL GOOD!!! IF I DON’T NEED THERAPY AFTER AN EPISODE YOU HAVE FAILED!!!!

Okay please tell me Omega is standing on something, I really don’t want Tech to have worse posture. I know he’s 6’4” so like Omega should be WAY shorter than that compared to him

Ah shiet

Stop

No

Company, leave!!

Go

Away

LISTEN HERE YOU GIRAFFE!!!! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO MY PRECIOUS CHILD OKAY

Oh god

Stop this right now

DAMN HE IS LOOKING GOOD

sorry

I don’t like this

Crosshair knows them so well this isn’t good

WAS THAT??? NO IT CAN’T HAVE BEEN? WAS THAT HOPE IN HIS VOICE?? IS HE HAPPY TO FINALLY BE WITH THE BATCH????

Stop it I don’t like not liking clones

Oh Crosshair I have missed you and all but can you just like leave??

Oh my god the regs really are stupid huh?

Tech I love you you little smartass

Crosshair, stop it, get some help

I am honestly pissed at Tech, like constantly… WHY DOES HE GET FUCKING PERFECT THIGHS AND I DON’T

Oh hell nah

🎶 fuck this shit i’m out 🎶

i don’t like this

i’m scared

Tech you sneaky bastard

TECH STOP BEING SO EXCITED ABOUT MASS MURDER

I don’t like when Crosshair disrespects my children like that

I’m crying

this is too much

Omega, you get a golden star for being cute as fuck

Tech, you get a golden star for being cute as fuck

The rest of you, you get to sleep on the floor

OH HELL NO

DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE

“Your issue is with me, not her” Hunter, your dad is showing. Like literally it’s consuming you

HUNTER I TOLD YOU LAST WEEK THAT THIS WAS NOT THE KIND OF HUG I MEANT

HOLY FUCK MY FAMILY IS HOME I CANT LAUGH NOW

THAT SCREAM

AHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Wrecker this isn’t a video game, you know that right??

TECH HOLDING OMEGAS HAND??? KILL ME NOW

WAIT

crosshair held the side of his head

DOES THAT MEAN????

weeeee a slide

Oh Wrecker I love you

We should let them have more slides

I think it could be mutually beneficial

They have fun, I get some extra serotonin

Hey! You should have let him finish!

What are the engines capable of, Tech? *blinks unnaturally quickly*

HUNTER HOW FUCKING STRONG ARE YOU???

How did you do that? I wanna save Tech too 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Crosshair clearly isn’t used to talking this much, his voice sounds kinda sore…

Tech could you maybe like, stop being emotionless? YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE

holy fuck they’re gonna die

no

ohhhh no

no no no no no no no

OH YEAH MY SMART BABIES I LOVE YOU

OH MY GOD

they really are a group of dads

NOOOOO TURN THEM OFF

CROSSHAIR

NO

STOP

TURN THE ENGINES OFF MY BABY IS DYING

Omegas little welps🥺🥺🥺

CROSSHAIR MY CHILD

HE LOOKED SO SCARED

okay, who did that?

CAD FUCKING BANE????????

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

THIS JUST BECAME A WHOLE ASS WESTERN

THE MUSIC AHHHHHH

HOLY FUCK I NEVER THOUGHT ID BE EXCITED ABOUT CAD BANE YET HERE WE ARE

no

stop

nuh uh

nope

i’m out

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD

NO

HUNTER

STOP

OMEGA

Oh no

Crosshair is properly fucked

oh shit

IT CANT STOP THERE

okay not gonna lie that was a gorgeous scene

is that what it looks like in their helmets??? really? I thought is was just like, a window, but this makes more sense

HOLY FUCK

created by DAVE FILONI yeah bitch I am gunning for you. I will find you, and i will kill you.

BITCH

[honeypirate]

What’s a Carnival w/o a Kiss?

Nishinoya, Tendou, Kuroo, and Bokuto visit you at your kissing booth.

Fem reader

Choose your character ending!!

Your best friends name is Mina bc I’m watching MHA and needed a name.

Not edited.

When they approved your VBC kissing booth you were shocked. You thought for sure it would be denied but apparently they thought it would be fun. “What’s the harm in a kiss?” The principle had said while following it up by stating if anyone was truly uncomfortable they didn't have to participate, it was the person’s choice to participate in the kissing booth.

You spent the day preparing the booth and painting it for the carnival tomorrow. You were nervous about it even though the kissing booth was your idea. You only suggested it becasue you thought it would be a great way to raise money since everyone on the girls and boys teams were well know. Plus you thought you could get out of it. nope, if your best friend Mina was participating there was no way she would let you out of it since she knew if you were really uncomfortable with it you wouldnt have thought of the idea yourself. “Too bad so sad” she said while you poured. The girls team would be the ones in the booth Saturday morning and the boys in the booth in the afternoon. Your time was scheduled for noon and youd be in there for fifteen minutes.

You werent just nervous because you had to kiss people, but what if no one wanted to kiss you? What if the entire fifteen minutes you had no one would show up? Just lines and lines for Mina who was right after you. You would feel so embarrassed and it might wreck your self esteem. You sigh and wipe off a bit of paint where you spilled and fixed your other mistakes.

“This looks amazing y/n!” (Noya/tendou/kuroo/Bo) said as he came over to you and you laughed softly “really? Thanks. It isnt hard though it’s just two colors” he laughs and picks up the paint brush with red on the end and placed a bit on your nose and you gasp, your cheeks flushing “doesnt mean you arent good at it!” he says and you smile softly. Somehow just his presence seemed to calm you down “thank you” you said softly and he nods with a grin. you take the white and paint a stripe down his cheek and then giggle as he gasps in shock.

Somehow in the paint fight ended up with him holding your hands above your head and painting doodles on your face while you chuckled and stared up at him. He was so pretty, you didnt get much time to appreciate his looks but you thanked whatever gods were above for this chance

“Hey! Save it for the booth!” His Coach calls out and you feel your face flush as he just laughs above you and rolls off you “sorry coach!” he replies and you avoid eye contact, too embarrassed for being caught goofing off.

“The booth is going to be amazing tomorrow” he says and helps you wash your brushes. “I hope so” you whisper softly, your anxieties coming back. When you’re done you walk him to the gym door so he can head to practice “Hey” he says softly and you look up at him “i’ll see you at the booth tomorrow, okay?” he says with a grin and it makes your stomach flop and your heart race. Your cheeks feel warm as you smile back at him “i’ll-” you clear your throat so you can sound more confident and then grin “i’ll be looking forward to it”

You couldnt sleep, nervous for the kissing booth but now you were nervous because you knew at least ONE person would be there in your line. You didnt even care if you had no other people who wanted to kiss you because you knew your crush was going to be there. At least you hoped that was what he meant.

That morning you made sure you wore your favorite outfit and put on a little perfume, you did your hair your favorite way so you could have more confidence in yourself and at the end of getting ready you felt actually really good about yourself. You looked in the mirror and smiled, maybe today would be the day you would kiss your crush.

Mina shaked your shoulders and squealed “are you ready?!” she said and pushed you towards the booth you had been abiding all day a long “nooooo” is his you respond and she just laughs. “Time to switch!” she sings and your Captain laughs at the boos that Mina get and she waves “sorry boys” she says and pats your shoulder as she exits the booth “good luck” she says and you smile and swallow hard. “Now it’s time for y/n!” Mina sings and you walk through the booth, pausing for a moment when you hear whistles and cheers which was the opposite of what you were expecting. You take a seat on the stool and feel your cheeks flush as the first boy steps up and hands you a red ticket and then presses his lips to yours for a second.

After five minutes kissing didnt even feel like kissing anymore. You lost count of the people who wanted to kiss you but after a few more minutes the line ends and you get a break. You look at your phone to check how much time you have left. 4 minutes to go. You felt your heart begin to shrink when you thought he wouldn’t come. You were distracted by a text from Mina you didnt notice someone approaching until he spoke.

Nishinoya

“Is this booth open?” he asks with a chuckle and your eyes snap up as a smile spreads across your lips “i thought you werent gonna make it” you say with a lilt in your voice and he laughs “how could i miss this? I get to kiss the most beautiful girl not to mention my long time crush” you feel your cheeks flush “i've been waiting for you all day, not to mention i won you this!” he pulls up a small teddy bear and your eyes widen with a chuckle “really! That’s so sweet Noya!” he gets a little nervous now, he confessed his feelings and you didn't say anything about it yet. He feels his face flush as he fumbles with his ticket in his hands. “So.. uh.. Yeah” he says and rocks on his toes as he looks at his ticket. You laugh and hold out your left hand for the ticket with a small smile. He grins as his cheeks dust darker pink as he places the piece of paper gently in your palm. You hop off the stool and lean across the booth to cup his cheek “i’ve been waiting all day for you” you whisper and then you press your lips to his.

Your lips softly rest against his for a moment before you’re pulling back “no, wait” he says softly and cups your cheeks, pulling them back to his own. His tongue touches your bottom lip and you meet it with your own, deepening the kiss and humming in happiness as your lips move together

“Hello?!” the boy behind him asks annoyed and you pull apart with blushing cheeks “sorry guys y/n’s time is over!” Mina says from behind you. You dont know when she appeared but you felt embarrassed anyway. You wave to the long line of guys that had appeared and they all looked mad as Nishinoy just looked like he was in heaven as he walked around the side of the booth to meet you at the back. “Hi” you say shyly and he smiles “hi beautiful” he says you blush “I really like you, Yuu” you whisper with a shy laugh and he takes your hand, lacing your fingers together. “I would hope so! You kissed me like it!” you laugh and rock your shoulder into his playfully “wanna go get some cotton candy?” he asks and you laugh “yes! That sounds amazing. Then maybe we could ride the ferris wheel”

Tendou

“Helloooo” he says happily while waving his ticket slowly in front of your phone “aren’t phones against the rules?” you laugh and roll your eyes “you’re here” you say softly and he smiles and runs a hand through his hair “here i am!” he says with a laugh that shows his anxiety. You take his ticket and then reach up and run your hands through his hair “can i tell you something?” you ask, grateful there isn’t anyone behind him right now. He nods, his ruby eyes shining as they stare into yours “I’ve been waiting for you Satori” you say and laugh shyly and he cups your cheeks, pressing his lips against yours softly. Its soft and sweet and when you pull back he’s pulling your lips back to his again and again, quickly peppering kisses against your lips as you chuckle. “Tendou?” he kisses you and hums in response “maybe” kiss kiss “we should” more kisses “tendou!” mina shouts and he pulls back to look behind you as he still holds your face “take her away, her time is over” tendou shouts for joy and hops through the booth window, taking your hand and leading you away as you chuckle “lets get some lunch and talk about how much you love me” he says and you laugh “sounds good to me” you respond and squeeze his hand. He looks to you with a gasp before his face turns into a grin “and obviously i’ll talk about how much i love you back. It wont just be about me” you laugh “i know, i could tell how much you liked me from those kisses”

Kuroo

“Hey there cutie” he says and you laugh as you shove your phone in your pocket. He always had a way of taking away all your anxiety. You smile up at him as he hands you a red ticket. “Glad you could finally make it Tetsu” you joke as you take his ticket, placing it in the basket with all the others. “I told you id be here” he said with a smile as he leaned his elbows on the booth and smiled at you now he was your height. “And here i thought you were just waiting to kiss all the girls” he hums and reaches out to tuck your hair behind your ear “nah, i only wanna kiss you. I mean, why would i want to kiss anyone else when i have you?” you hop off the stool and lean closer “and how are you sure you even have me?” you whisper and he cups your cheek softly “you have no idea how bad I am hoping” he says, his eyes showing how much vulnerability he is hiding with his teasing “same here” you whisper as he cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours. The kiss ends sooner than you hoped but the way he is smiling melts your heart “are you done here yet?” he asks with a chuckle and mina behind you yells out “yes! She is! Go on!” she ushers you out of the booth. He holds his hand out to you and you take it with a smile, lacing your fingers together “I guess you were right” you say and he laughs “about what?’ he asks and you squeeze his hand as a blush dusts your cheeks “you have me”

Bokuto

“Hey!” he shouts and you look up at him “no hey hey hey?” you ask as you stand from the stool and smile. He laughs and scratches behind his head “i’m just a little nervous” he says with a shy laugh “hey” you say softly and he meets your eye with his cheeks blushing “I was really hoping you’d come” you say softly, your heart racing. “Really?” he asks and leans forward, placing his ticket on the booth edge and you laugh with a nod. You raise your hand and use your finger to tell him to come closer which he does with a smile and you cup his cheek with one hand while leaning into his opposite ear “i really, really like you Kou” you whisper and he hums in excitement “i like you too!” he says and you laugh “maybe i should kiss you now” he says and you nod as you feel yourself get twice as nervous. He cups your cheeks “so beautiful” he whispers before he presses his lips to yours. You hum at the same time and then chuckle as you kiss him deeper. He pulls back and you chuckle as you wipe his bottom lip with your thumb. Mina taps your shoulder “you’re done hun, now go get your man” she says and you laugh as you make your way around to Bo who excitedly takes your hand “do you wanna maybe turn this into a date?” he asks and you smile with a nod “I’d love that Kou”

~ending~

You spend the whole day with him and watch the sunset form the Ferris wheel, stopping right at the top for you guys. “Wait” you say and turn to him “weren’t you supposed to be in the kissing booth too?” You ask and he chuckles softly “yeah I ditched. I don’t want to kiss anyone else but you” you smile, your cheeks flushing and heart dancing at his words “well if I knew that in the beginning” you say with a laugh and he cups your cheek “you only wanna kiss me too?” He asks softly, his eyes drifting to your lips as you nod. “Then maybe you should be my girl” he says and you laugh “yeah maybe I should” you say just before his lips press against yours for the umpteenth time already today, sending warm fuzzies to your heart and spawned more butterflies you were sure to fly out and into his mouth.

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

*SHORT SERIES

Member: j u y e o n

Genre: drama with chaebol/lawyer juyeon

A/N: I’m investing way too much feelings and emotions into this i might cry when it ends. this chapter is more serious i guess i can’t be writing angst and smut every chapter LOL

Link to other parts: 

I Never Wanna See You Again

Frustrated (light smut)

Love Somebody (light smut)

Play With Fire (smut)

~

“i’m playing with fire.”

all you wanted to do was have breakfast, but you walk out along the hallways of the second floor only to watch an entire crowd of staff members push and pull countless of racks across the living room. 

the female staff member who recognised you from the previous week notices you standing awkwardly behind the wall, struggling to process the crowd at the foot of the stairs. 

you watch her say something to another staff member, before she strolls across the living room and heads up the stairs to greet you.

“i’m going to hope you don’t have any clothes of your own,” she smiles at you, eyes flitting to your neck for a split second and looks at your bare legs. 

“uh--” you stumble on your tongue, having trouble finding any words to say. you completely forget about the marks on your neck, and you were only in his underwear with the large pullover barely covering your rear. 

“i’m gonna get you a robe while you choose your clothes for today and i’ll run you a bath before you have breakfast.”

you watch as she walks away into the bathroom, and again, you wonder why it was so difficult to think of anything to say. you had expected the house staff to be judging you for sleeping with him, but they all seemed so nice and candid, it was a little difficult to believe. 

you just couldn’t get the idea of juyeon being such a kind, relaxed boss out of your head. 

she returns from the bathroom with a robe, the water now running and a rose scent begins to waft through your nose. “here,” she hands you the robe and waits for you to put it on. 

“mr lee wanted you to pick out as many clothes as you wanted, and he wants you to know not to worry about the price.”

you reach the bottom of the stairs with her standing right next to you, and you see at least three racks of clothes surrounding the living room. there were at least two full-body mirrors next to the sofas, and a separate mobile shelf with shoes. 

“uh... do i have to? where are my clothes from yesterday?” your hand unconsciously reaches up to your neck to cover your skin. 

“in the laundry! we’ll get it steamed and ready for you by lunch, but right now, he’s told us he wants to see you in something from any of these racks. he didn’t exactly give us much choice either,” she gives you a look that comforts you, gently patting your arm to encourage you. 

you choose out exactly five different sets of clothes, which included shoes. you suddenly feel like you went on a splurge and your credit card would’ve exceeded by now, judging by the brands the clothes were from. 

you soak yourself in the bathtub, the light from behind you illuminating the white, black and golden surfaces. you couldn’t help but to let your head replay the memories from the night before as the rose scent pulls all the knots in your body apart. 

it felt like you were on vacation, when you were really just... feeding off your boyfriend’s wealth. you felt guilty, and frankly, a little worried that people were going to start thinking you were with him for his money. 

you haven’t done anything for him besides curse at him, take the credit for his workings for the case and sleep in his bed. 

you shake your thoughts away, deciding that it was time for you to get your due breakfast before working on the case. 

you were pushing the last few bites of the strange looking pudding around in the bowl, and the female staff from before was in the dining room with you, arranging the cutlery and utensils away from sight.

“hey, uh--” you call out, looking at her while mrs jung comes out of the kitchen. you wonder why it took you three meals before you notice that you could see into the kitchen. the dining table was right next to a black counter where mrs jung would leave the food right after it was prepared, and the kitchen itself looked extravagant.

“you called?” the female staff lays down the plate and walks over to your side. 

“yeah, uh...” you scratch your temple, slightly pulling on the turtleneck you chose to hide the bruises he left. “you don’t-- happen to think that... i’m with mr lee for his money... do you?”

the female staff blinks in surprise at you, and before she could respond, mrs jung does the honor. 

“oh, my dear, definitely not! you’d be surprised at how good juyeon-nim is at picking out who’s genuine and who isn’t.” you turn and watch mrs jung carry some leftover food back into the kitchen. 

“we were very surprised when he asked you to stay last friday, past the time where the house staff gets off work. he doesn’t like guests over, unless they are his parents... so it was nice to see him bring someone back.”

you let a small laugh escape your lips, feeling the blood rush up to your ears and cheek. 

hold on. 

‘someone’?

“you mean he’s never brought anybody home before?” 

“not willingly, no.” mrs jung responds from the kitchen. “juyeon-nim is only friendly to people he trusts and even then he’s extremely cautious, though sometimes a little dense... but now that we know how comfortable he is with you, and we’re all just happy for him.”

you feel a second wave of embarrassment wash over you, your hand now wrapping around your own neck and pulling up the material to hide any possible marks that were peeking out from under. 

“you don’t have to hide those as long as you’re here. everybody knows what happened,” the female staff member teases you, clearing the plates that you literally licked the crumbs off from before. 

“awh... nooooo,” you whine, hiding your face in your hands. 

the staff member laughs at your embarrassment, encouraging you to finish your dessert before she tells you where his office was. 

you get the door open, and the first thing you notice was the similar L-shaped glass windows like his bedroom had. the desk sat on the right side, with a main leather seat back facing a large shelf. the levels were alternated between files and small, expensive-looking statues and souvenirs. 

right before the glass panels were two single-seaters with a small coffee table between them, and your eyes took awhile to notice the little fridge under the table. 

you log into the computer with ease, surprised that there wasn’t a password required. you remember mrs jung saying that he doesn’t have anybody over, and you figure that nobody else has been in his office anyway. the worry about someone hacking into his files was non-existent. 

your suitcase was already placed by the table, and you wonder when did it get here. did he leave it in here last night? this morning? or did he get a staff member to do it?

the online system was perfectly synced with the system you had in the office, and all you needed to do was log in with your information before your case displays itself on the screen. 

you get to work almost immediately, every now and then looking past the computer screen to look out the large glass windows. 

the clouds were so fluffy against the bright blue sky today, and you couldn’t help but imagine chanhee, eric and sunwoo’s reactions when they notice you didn’t clock in today.

oh. chanhee, eric and sunwoo.

you reach over to your suitcase and pull out your cellphone, noticing the nearly ten missed calls you got from them starting about five minutes before the supposed reporting time. 

chanhee: where the hell are you? its 7.55am!

eric: did she oversleep

chanhee: she doesn’t oversleep

sunwoo: not with that annoying ass alarm she’s got

you smile to yourself, unable to contain your happiness as you scroll down.

chanhee: why do we have to hear about your absence from our manager?

sunwoo: wait

eric: OH MY GOD

sunwoo: mf WAIT

eric: DID THE BOSS TELL OUR MANAGER THAT YOU WEREN’T COMING IN TODAY

sunwoo: DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM AGAIN

chanhee: but he’s in office! 

sunwoo: so? he could’ve just left her at home and came to work to reduce suspicion cause it’ll too obvious if the both of them are absent

eric: unless...

sunwoo: i’m betting on that and OTHER REASONS

eric: i was thinking about other reasons

chanhee: whatever the reason, call us during our lunch break!

eric: yeah we want details

sunwoo: fucking disgusting

you snort to yourself, ready to keep your phone away and finish up the case. 

but the aggressive vibration from your phone stops you just as you laid it down, and you sigh heavily when you see the caller ID. 

“yello,” you put the phone down on the table, keeping it on loudspeaker. 

“why do you sound so glum? i return from a two month trip and this is how you greet me?”

you roll your eyes, laying your hands right at the keyboard. “hi mom, how was your trip to san francisco?”

“oh, it was gorgeous!” she says with a strange accent. must’ve been the american air for two months. “i was pretty sad to leave, but nothing can stop me from coming back to see you!”

“when have you ever needed to see me?” your tone was unenthusiastic, and you resist the urge to hang up altogether. 

“aw, no, honey,” she whines. “are you still mad about last year?”

“just so you know, i’m gonna stay mad for quite a bit, so don’t expect anything different.”

“aw, but you did say you wanted swavroski--”

“yeah, a swavroski ring! not the damn brand!” you huff, burying your face into your hands. your eyes were on the screen, staring at the case document, but all you could hear was the heavy breathing over the phone. 

“i take it that you haven’t signed the contract to claim ownership of the brand.”

“of course i didn’t! i left home so i could build a life for myself. you promised me that you’d leave me and my finances and my life alone. you know i don’t want you or dad’s help but you go ahead and buy a whole jewellery brand?!”

silence. 

“i’m never signing that contract, just so you know. it’s been sitting at home since you had it mailed to me while you ran off to canada.”

“are you still living in that tiny flat by the lake outside of town?”

you pick up a pinch of contempt in her voice. “yeah, what’s so bad about my 'tiny flat’?”

“nothing,” liar. “i just want you to have the best we can afford.”

“again with the ‘we’. how many times do i have to tell you that i don’t want you or dad’s help?”

“but--”

“no,” you snap into the phone, picking it up and hovering your thumb over the hang up button. “i’m gonna go now because i have work to do. don’t call me unless it’s to tell me that someone else already owns swavroski.”

you finally hang up and you throw the phone back into your suitcase, hands on your forehead as you return your attention to the screen. 

needed me? what a load of bullcrap. 

maybe if she didn’t treat you like some kind of trophy when you were younger, you’d believe that she genuinely loved you. 

you were called to lunch when the sun was at its highest, the blinding rays bouncing off windows and the metal from buildings that it heated up the room like a toaster. 

mrs jung’s food never fails to deliver, and the female staff from before struggles to tuck your napkin into your clothes so that the gravy doesn’t fly about. 

you were mindlessly praising the hell out of mrs jung’s pasta when you hear a staff outside the dining room shout. you turn at the sound of the doors swinging open, and you find yourself standing immediately at the sight of a lady who looked like a million bucks. 

“what do you mean he’s in offic--” the lady finally turns her attention from the staff outside the dining room and to you. “and... who are you?”

so much for that lunch phone call to your friends.

you find yourself sitting awkwardly opposite her, carefully watching as she swirls the wine in her glass. you feel her eyes pierce right through you, and your hands reach up to your turtleneck in a bid to pull it upwards.

“there’s no need to hide,” she nearly scolds you, and the harsh tone strikes a chord in you. “i know who you are.”

what?

“you’re the reason why my son’s fiance is in shambles right now.”

his what--

“i’m sorry, who?” you squint your eyes at her, for a split second forgetting that she was the mother of your now-boyfriend.

“he didn’t tell you?” she offers a smile of disbelief. “and here i was thinking he changed for the better.”

“’for the better’? he wanted to leave the country to do charity work, not run away.”

“he was running away from the responsibilities he was born to shoulder. we do enough charity for him to stay,” she leans forward on the table, one palm pressed flat on the surface. 

“but he didn’t even want the damn law fi--”

“mother!” 

the both of you turn to the door of the dining room. every staff member within your line of vision looked like they were scared shitless, which was a strange sight, considering how relaxed and candid they were in the absence of this... crazy lady.

who might be my mother-in-law? ugh. 

“you should’ve told me you’re visiting,” juyeon walks in the doors and the staff members shut them behind him. he grabs a seat next to you, and it visibly stuns his mother. 

“i wouldn’t have bothered if i knew you weren’t even at home,” she watches in slight disgust as juyeon leans into your face and plants a kiss on your cheek. your eyes widen and your heart feels extremely heavy. “care to explain what is going on?”

juyeon carefully sits his suitcase next to his chair as the kitchen staff serves him a glass of wine. you remember the only food that was prepared was only for you and the staff members.

“what’s there to explain? i never said i agreed to marry anybody i was told to.”

you watch anxiously, eyes switching between juyeon, who was calmly sipping on his wine, and his mother, who was so angry that you could almost see the steam escaping from her ears...

“and so you run off and sleep with some random girl?”

ouch.

“will she still be ‘some random girl’ if you knew what she was capable of? she’s closed more cases in six months than i did in a year, mother.”

“i didn’t think a lawyer would let someone leave such savage marks all over her body like this!” she berates you, hand carelessly gesturing to all of you.

“which year did you walk through a portal from? it’s not the 1800s, mother.”

wow, so she blames me and not the one who made these marks?

“girls nowadays.”

you could feel juyeon’s frustration hit the roof, and the atmosphere in the dining hall gets heavier as each second passes in silence. 

“what are you here for, anyway? just to ask me about me dumping my fiance who i never even loved? i don’t even like her face, mother. she’s an incapable princess who does nothing but sit around and gets waited on.”

“forget about that, you’ve gone ahead and spent your weekend breaking off the engagement anyway,” his mother glares at the two of you. 

didn’t he spend his weekend with his family--

“but i do want to know why you’re back in the office.”

juyeon locks his jaw in odd angles, and if you didn’t know it was his mother who was pissing him off, you would’ve thought he was going to throw a punch across the table. 

“what do you mean ‘why i’m back in the office’? doing my job and accepting my responsibilities like you wanted to!” 

“and you didn’t have the decency to at least inform us? we were ready to re-sell it to the bureau director!” 

juyeon sucks in a deep breath and stands up, eyes tightly shut as you watch him collect his feelings. his mother remains relaxed in the seat opposite you, arms tightly crossed over her chest but her face still brimming with anger and dissatisfaction. 

“okay,” he leans downwards, pressing his palms flat against the surface of the table. “if you’re so upset then i assume a contract has already been drawn up, yes?”

his mother doesn’t respond. 

“alright, i’ll contact the bureau director and i’ll explain the situation. it’s you the bureau director has a problem with, anyway. it’ll be easy for me.”

your face was turned to juyeon, but your eyes couldn’t resist the temptation to look at his mother. she had just been outspoken by her son, and you felt so proud of him for standing up for himself. 

his mother finishes the win, visibly angry. she gets up and leaves the dining hall, and when you hear the lift ‘ding’ followed by the sound of its gears shutting its doors, you heaved a sigh of relief.

the entire room relaxes and begins helping to clear the table. juyeon was the only one who looked like he was about to burst from anger and frustration. 

you stand up and wrap your arms around his torso, leaning your chin on his shoulder.

“hey.”

“i’m sorry you had to see that.”

you shake your head, pulling away and hugging his arm instead. 

“i’m sorry that i lied about what i did over the weekend, and i’m sorry i didn’t tell you i was already engaged.”

you let the pain of the realisation sink in for a moment, before giving him a weak smile. “well, it wasn’t really a lie. you said it was something to do with your family... and besides, you broke off the engagement.” you reach over his chest and find his arm to pull him to face you, looking up at him whose eyes were filled with remorse. 

naturally, a shitty feeling swamps you when you lose sight of his prideful, authorial self, so you pull his face down to meet yours and you feel him melt into the kiss. 

“do you need to go back to the office?” you let him go, his hands now resting on your waist.

“yeah,” he sighs apologetically. “i only came back because the lobby called to tell me my mother was here.”

“aw,” you grin in attempt to shake off the tension that was still hanging in the air. “nice to know you came back to save me from your mother.”

a smile appears on his lips, and he pulls you in all so suddenly, planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

“maybe i shouldn’t leave my marks so high up your neck next time.”

you sigh with your lips in smile, pressing your head into his chest as he wraps his arms tightly around you. 

THE NEXT DAY

your arm was linked tightly with juyeon’s as he walks you up the stairs of the grand hotel, the ends of your gown dragging along the marble surface to the restaurant where he would meet the bureau director. 

you couldn’t take your eyes off him, though the simple suit was nothing compared to the dress he had prepared for you within a day’s notice. you reach the restaurant entrance and the lady immediately recognises him, turning to lead you two into the restaurant and in the corner where the private rooms were.

“so just to be clear, ignore your mother and be nice to the bureau director, right?” you giggle as the restaurant staff knocks on the door. 

juyeon laughs and pecks you on your temple. “maybe if you ignore her enough, she’ll start wanting your attention.”

you snicker to yourself, watching the door pull open and the light from inside spills out. 

you trail behind juyeon and look into the room, and your heart stops in your chest.

the world stops revolving around the sun and your breath hitches in your throat, your grip on juyeon’s arm tightening instantly when you see the two people in the room. 

“mother,” juyeon awkwardly starts, only noticing your sudden grip on his arm. 

mother. 

she looks at you with wide, surprised eyes before they dissipate into a wide smile. 

“this is the bureau director, mrs--”

“it’s alright,” she stops juyeon. “i know who she is.”

you gulp and your chest collapses in on itself. 

of all people, THIS bureau director just had to be your mother?

Part 6: Bourbon

[noxus-the-venomous-blog]

Part 3.02 Where is your head?

“This is a joke right?! I literally just came from the Science Division,” Ed said in frustration.

“And they sent you here? They radioed us saying they sent the load to engineering but needed something else taken that way.”

“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!”

“Calm down poison puff,” the rank two grumbled with little patience left, “it means you need to head back to Science and get the new load, should look like a clipboard, then take that to Engineering who will give you the package for Science as well as the new keycard you’re going to need.”

“Wait… Isn't this Engineering?” Ed felt a slight twitch in his eye. His heart was beating like a war drum.

“Nooooo this is S Division. It's like a legal department.”

“So I have to walk all the way back to the first cave elevator?” he sighed admitting his defeat. When he had signed up to infiltrate this place he expected an exciting game of psychological cat and mouse, instead of a ridgid trip to the proverbial villainous version of the DMV. Or was this the cat and mouse game?

“Don't go all the way back to the elevator, that's the long way. Follow the signs for H Division up around P Division. It takes you the back way. When you get to H, turn around by the smoke fountain and head down the corridor between the mess hall and the lazertag center.”

“Wait there's….nevermind. Ok I’m on it.”

“Also, gimme five bucks” the rank two said with a serious set of eyes peering over the respirator.

“Is… This a robbery?”

“Nah man. I forgot my lunch and I totally just spent like 10 minutes helping you. Gimme five bucks.”

“Ok fine,” Ed handed him the money requested, still completely sure this was just a robbery. Then off he walked, following the directions given by the rank 2 from the Subversion Division.

The place was entirely too complicated. He made his way as far as he could go following colored lines on the ground but each of them led to buckets of paint, where apparently someone had forgotten what they were doing and walked away. He then checked a map posted on the mall. After studying it for a few moments he realized it wouldn't help him. It was a map of the eastern New York area. Why? He was ready to give up until he saw someone with a full face mask. Ed knew little about the complicated rank system but the rule of thumb was the more mask the more rank. Hopefully.

“Um, hello?”

“Yes,” the masked rank 3 said to him.

“Yes what?” Ed stammered.

“Just looking on the bright side! So where is your brain thinking it's going?”

Insane… “Science?”

“That's by the elevator. Just go past the poison mushroom field, and cut by…”

“The weird corner with the jugglers and crap that's what i thought but someone said going around the smoke fountain is faster” Ed insisted. He wondered if his tone was bad for speaking to a superior but at this point he was grinding his teeth into calcium powder.

“The jugglers aren't weird… Anyway why would you walk away from science and think its a shortcut?” the woman said, tilting her head as if the helmet was heavy.

“I just…. Basically paid five bucks for wrong directions i guess”

“People make mistakes when they’re hungry, come with me lost little lamb” she insisted, dragging his arm to the cafeteria. The day was about to become a lot longer. She slowly introduced him to each member of the food prep staff, a dull looking bunch who seemed eager for the two of them to grab a tray and leave. She then gathered him and a few other new rank ones and made them each say something positive about themselves, but the rank 3 kept getting distracted and instead doubling back to the same two after repeatedly complimenting their hair. She then dragged him to the entertainment corner where she taught him to juggle. This was the most surprising part of the day since he actually picked up on it quickly, and despite his deep frustrations, realized he made a competent juggler. The joy of this was vacuumed out when she saw a cloud of gas and made Ed chase it, claiming this was a stamina building, motivational exercise. He couldn't see the supposedly running cloud of gas she referred to so what actually occurred was him running in circles while the Rank 3 woman laughed at him and shouted directions. She was in the middle of telling him to use a stranglehold to subdue it when Ed noticed a familiar face. James ran up to the two of them.

“Division leader Haze,” he said panting, “forgive my interruption! You are needed in the laser tag room right away!”

“Oh no what is it?”

“Someone looked absolutely depressed. They kept talking about being hungry and not sure if they should love or believe in themselves.”

“GASP!!!” haze said instead of actually gasping “IM ON IT! You’re on your own for now little lamb. But before i go.” she held her hand to out in front of eds face, “look at this interesting glove,

He stared at it for a moment, having a hard time focusing with it being so close to his face. The moment he saw the small distinguishment on the palm, a tiny hole, it was too late, as a little puff of mist shot forward and into his face and eyes. The toxic effect of the mist muffled the noise and lights around him. She leaned in “Edward… Where is your head?” She then did a hundred and eighty degree twirl and began skipping away.

He turned around slowly. The steady rhythm of ambient noise around him began to go off beat. Sounds of people talking in the distance melted into a blur the footsteps all around him seemed to multiply into a dark applause. He was nearly in a panic until an arm on his shoulder jolted him out of it.

“Hey she won't be distracted long, get to wherever you need to go.”

“Yeah… I have… Who is she?” Ed mumbled.

“That was Haze. She's not so bad once you get to know her, just very….. supportive. You doing ok? Im guessing you didn't expected to get sprayed your first day.”

He steadied himself against the wall. “I feel like i'm going to fall over.”

“It wears off quick,” James added, “you likely just got a little dose of what they call the happy spray. After a while you learn to love it, like a morning cup of coffee. Although it was Haze, so small chance she used the clown spray. No one enjoys the clown spray….”

“Clown spray??” Ed said gasping. He was just thinking he was ready to tap out but if there was any doubt in it, any question of whether or not he was in over his head, it was just clarified in two words. Clown spray.

“If it was i imagine you would have noticed by now. Anyway you said you were headed to Science so get over there before she comes back. “

Ed began stumbling away, had he said he was going to Science? Had any of that conversation even happened? He can remember the conversation but with each step he took it seemed more like he made it up in his head. He made his way backtracking the way he came, wondering if he had passed the jugglers or not. But why? Why was he thinking about them. Why does he know how to juggle? Where was he going again? That's right, to the Science room. Hadn't he just come from there? He kept walking hoping someone would run into him. Hoping someone would hit him to the ground and stand over him and explain who he is. He nearly got his wish when he was knocked to the floor by running into a rank two who he hadn't noticed had stopped walking in front of him.

The decently sized man leaned out a hand to help Ed up. “Thanks i jus…” Ed was cut off by holding a finger up to silence him. He then pointed at one of the nearby tv monitors. The image on the screen was a thick swirl of moving green smoke. It all slowly faded revealing Noxious leaning forward in a dark room. Ed had seen this person many times when being briefed for his mission but the descriptions seemed outdated based on what he was seeing now. The masked figure leaned into the camera and began to speak.

“What is fear? We all have things in our life worth being afraid. I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of letting many people down. This is why i try harder. In each step of my life i was afraid of how id make the next one. This is what guided me cautiously through a dangerous world. Fear and concern can aid us, but when insecurity is present then our fear loses its beneficial nature. Insecurity makes us hesitant. Insecurity makes us doubt. Insecurity drives us to more dangerous roads as we seek to run away from the causes. What causes insecurity? Violence, despair, needless aggression, needless hostility. A world where people shout. A world where people take for themselves and give to no one. A world where a fair chance is a contaminated concept.” Ed looked around the wide open courtyard to see that everyone had stopped and this entire little underground city had halted to give attention to the various scattered monitors bearing their overlord’s face. If evil was a feeling he sensed enough of it around himself to grow sick with it.

“What makes people so selfish? What makes human beings so hostile? It's not our broken souls, or a broken culture. It's a broken brain. Can't it be said that the people who prevail in such aggression are just doing so out of their own insecurities? If you have depression people encourage you to get treated right? Well i have seen this world and diagnosed it with aggression. Lets help it. Lets get it on a proper medication cycle. Let's cure this flawed world so it can't hurt us any longer. Breathe deeply friends...” The monitors shut off one by one.

“I'm new here what was that?” he asked the large man he had accompanied in watching it. The man said nothing, merely offering a thumbs up and walked away. Was this one of the so called “quiet soldiers” he was warned about? He still felt trapped in his thoughts from that spray but at least the weird brainwashing tv message had him distracted long enough for some of the side effects to wear off. It was time to get serious about why he was here, and so off he rushed to the Science department.

----------------------------------

“No.” the mousy rank 2 said, not even glancing up from her keyboard.

“I don't know what that means,” Ed said in frustration.

“You don't know what no means? That's a terrifying thought.”

“No i don't know why you’re telling me no. i was just sent here from Science, to S Division and then back again.”

“That's your problem. The so called ‘S Division’ isn't around to give you the good directions. You were here this morning and we told you in detail to go to Engineering. If you took advice for others along the way that's your problem.”

“Is there anyway i can just speak to someone in charge?”

“This isn't a department store puff. You can't just… You know what. Nevermind your timing is great. We have three division leaders right over their and i'm sure they have all the answers you need,” she said slyly, gesturing her hand to wave him off. He went passed the reception desk and towards the back room she referenced. Half way down the hallway he felt a wrenching in his stomach, lingering effects he assumed of the toxic spray. It drained his energy and made it feel impossible to think or even stand. He fell to his knees and puked on the sterile white flooring.

“You’re lost little girl,” a woman told him. He could only see her boots.

“I'm not a girl...” ed stammered.

“It's a metaphor,” the woman corrected.

“Lynn that's not a metaphor.” A second set of boots joined. He still only had the strength to look at the floor he had sullied.

“Actually CT, Its a reference so technically it falls under symbolic language” a third voice insisted, again accompanied by another set of boots. This time the voice sounded male.

“Thanks DD, although i think were crowding this poor little puff,” the one called Lynn said. They all then took a step back in a unified manner that Ed found to be robotic and unsettling. With the extra space he took a deep breath and stood up. Before him were the three division leaders. From dossiers he could put together who was who. The one known as Lynn was recognizable from the propaganda videos. The other female was an easy puzzle to solve since he was in the Science Division and the division leader used the monicor ChemTrails. CT. The male however was a coin flip. The Dossier had multiple names on file for the three known male division heads. This DD one must be one of them. Still though, a bit of prodding would come off as curiosity not investigation so he decided to prod.

“Who are you guys?”

“Guys and girls. Or so i can tell,” DD chimed.

“‘Guys’ can be gender neutral nowadays,” Lynn said adjusting a valve on her suit.

“Objectively it cannot.”

“But contextually it can. It’s a word devolved into sland,” CT added, “also none of you are answering the poor puff’s question. I'm ChemTrails, of the Science Division. That place you seem to have spent all day trying to walk back to. This is Evo-Lynn of Propaganda, and The Diabolical Mr Dave of Engineering.”

“A pleasure to meet you… um… Ed?” DD smiled, his mask hanging from his neck gave him a more laid back and inviting look then the rest of them. He had a charming smile but Ed couldn't help but feel like he was being played.

“How did you know my name?”

“You’re damn near famous today. The video is going around of you sitting on Haze’s shoulders juggling like a pro.”

“Oh right…” Ed had no memory of this. “Wait why do they call you Diabolical Dave or whatever?”

“The Diabolical Mr Dave, you have to say the whole thing to really get the effect. It was a college nickname and with my current line of work i figured it was appropriate enough to keep.” Dave said, further unsettling Eds now fragile sense of what was even happening.

“This is all a lovely chat by the water cooler but before we regail ourselves with any more wonderment, Ed, do you have the part my people gave you to give Engineering?” CT asked, “Since DD is right here we can skip the walk,”

What was she talking about. Was he given a part? In all the chaos of the day he had forgotten exactly why he was ever sent to engineering. Is this why there are so many unfinished lines painted on the ground? Are the fumes of this place so mentally infesting that everyone here is doomed to just wander aimlessly from one task to another? Is this the paradise the Noxious Agenda promises? A world so sedated it can't war but neither can it function? And if this is the WAIT WHAT’S IN HIS HAND? ITS MACHINERY AND ITS HEAVY HAD HE BEEN CARRYING THIS THE ENTIRE TIME AND NOT NOTICING? WHAT IS THIS PLACE??

“Yeah this. Thanks champ” DD said with a warm smile. He took the large part and brought it over to a desk. CT followed and Ed saw this as his chance to leave until Lynn grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to the table as well. Their DD added components to the device one by one as it started to take shape.

DD leaned in, placing each part carefully on. “The attachments are magnetic and self bolting. The magnet holds the legs and establishes a current. Once the legs feel that current they rotate the small bolts, holding it in securly. With a press of a button it can remove all of the legs and dismantle itself. The legs can pop off in seconds and be replaced with tracks or even gyros for flight!” Ed was fascinated by this small machine. He had seen drones before but this man DD described it with such childish glee that he couldn't help but look at it with the same excitement.

“What controls it?” Lynn questioned.

“Artificial intelligence,” the proud Engineer said. He noticed a worried look on Eds face so he reassured, “not likely what you’re picturing rank one. It’s AI in the way that i programed algorithms and it finds its own data. Much like a popular online search engine. I collect data from the personalities of people randomly found around the lair and then let it manifest into a code for the drone to follow. Watch,” he leaned over and flicked a small switch.

The robot stood up and a gritty simulated voice began to speak, “NOXIOUS AGENDA! GAS THE SHOUT IN A WORLD THAT PEOPLE!”

They all stared with wide eyes. DD reassured, “this is expected. It uses the words people here use most. It seems weird but as the code refines it will be less eccentric”

“RANK ONE DETECTED! SUCK IT PUFF! CURSE YOU NEWB!” the robot then shouted at Ed as a small cannon emerged, a small flame sparked from it and then much larger jet of fire shot out, scorching the Eds clothing. In a split second CTs mask began to move and swish, then a small liquid tendril protruded out the side and across the room, grabbing the fire extinguisher and returning it to Chems hands as she put out the burning spy.

“WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!!!” Ed screamed from the floor.

“Just a flaw in the coding… It is a prototype” DD confirmed.

“No no no… Did an arm just crawl out of that mask??”

CT leaned down in front above Ed “Sometimes you don't want to be on a short list of people who know certain things. Especially if people in the future ever want to make that list shorter.”

“I told you you’re lost little girl,” Lynn said. Ed made his way out as the three of them giggled and spoke about the potential of the robot. This was surely valuable enemy data but he was having no more of the three of them. He made his way to a quiet alley between cave walls and a dark building. His daily objectives were a complete failure. He never bugged the servers, never checked out the exits and never made visual confirmation of this cult’s boss, unless a vague image on the screen counted. Did it? Likely not. He can only assume he’s been too intoxicated for any of his report to carry validity. None of the challenges in this hellish place were predicted and thus none of the challenges met. He was ready to start crying at the anguish he had felt when he heard encouraging words.

“Jeez Eddie why the long face?” A man said next to him. He hadn't noticed anyone sit down but at this point company wasn't the worst thing he could have.

“Today's my first day and all i'm doing is messing up. This is all just too much i feel like i can't breathe.”

“That sounds like anxiety, friend. That's normal for a first day. Do you know what causes anxiety?”

“Yeah all these OH MY GOD YOUR A CLOWN!!!” he shouted, nearly falling out of his chair at the sight.

“Now that's not very nice Eddie. Anxiety can be one of two things, a chemical imbalance or an effect of over stressing circumstances. Do you feel overstressed friend?”

“I… Yes i do.”

The clown leaned in and put a hand on his shoulder. “Do you feel like you spent the whole day not doing what you planned to?”

“Yes exactly. I can't get my thoughts straight. I feel like such an idiot.”

The clown leaned in further. “Whose side are you really on…”

“Wh...what?”

The clown leaned back, relaxed. “You can't call yourself an idiot like that. You might be venting but your brain will always take it serious. Don’t be against yourself. You had some setbacks but you learned from ‘em right? Tomorrow will be another day”

“You know for a clown you got some pretty good advice,” ed sighed.

“Why do you keep calling me a… Oh right, clown spray. Let me fix you up” the clown then reached into his massive gag pockets and pulled out three small colored vials and a tiny machine. He examined each vial then put them in the small device. He punched in some numbers on the side of it and the machine began to vibrate, mixing them together. He leaned the machine towards Eds face an a small gas release came out of it. The instant he inhaled a portion of it his head felt like it was on fire. He lost control of his muscles and his head fell into his palms, doing everything he can to not fall of the bench he was sitting on.

“Breath Deeply Ed, this will fix you,” the former clown said, his voice now more raspy and muffled. Ed summoned what strength he could to raise his head to the man, but the clown was gone, and replaced with something much worse. The modified gloves, the glowing mask, the shoulder vents. This was Noxious. “You'll be ok Eddie. Just keep doing your best here and who knows, maybe we will grow on you?” The boss said before getting up to walk away.

SUPERSECRETSPECIALOVAENDING

DD “how long do we have to keep being mean to the rank 1s?”

CT “wait were we being mean to all of them? i thought it was just those two new ones”

Tranq “its just the one called Ed. we are attempting to draw them out.”

DD “oh.... i have a lot of crispy rank one’s to apologize too.....

[ujuro]

this is my running list that i have kept in my drafts all year of things that i wanted from kpop in 2018. some are kind of vague but honestly which groups were “successful” and which weren’t is really obvious because the “unsuccessful” ones just didnt come back at all ugh

long post here we go

things i wanted from this year:

-success for wjsn: my girls got a win and their best-selling album yet so we’re on a roll now. but im somewhat worried because a lot of it comes from the new fame of c-line and between you and me i...dont think theyre ever coming back. prove me wrong yuehua.

-success for loona- is a debut mini selling over 50,000 copies success? ya know there are people that will say that based on how expensive and long their debut project was that everything was a flop and loona’s doomed but i dont really think that way. when lookin at it strictly as an actual debut they did great. i love my girls.

-success for clc- we’ll never know if anything could have come from a comeback after black dress because CUUUUUBBBBEEEEEE but im not salty or anything nooooo

-success for dreamcatcher: happyface and i think the girls themselves realize that their concept will never be mainstream but ya know what? my girls had a good year! they’re working hard and building a fanbase and theres nothing more i can ask for really

-someone please pay attention to sonamoo please: FUCK TS

-same for gugudan this is depressing: i dont know how their last comeback did but it seems like they kind of staying the same which is sad because gugudan probably ranks the highest of post ioi groups in terms of raw talent and consistently good music. stan my girl nayoung. 

-weme and pristin to actually get non-controversial actually good title tracks so we can put all of that to rest (though i’d die for wee woo don’t fuckin try it):  crush was well liked so we got that but FUCKIN PLEDIS OH MY GOD IM SO MAD IDEC THAT GET IT WAS GOOD THEY DIDNT GET A NON-CONTROVERSIAL TITLE TRACK THEY DIDNT GET ON AT ALL and NO PRISTIN V DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR IT FUCKIN PLEDIS anyway

-news on after school….any news…free them…: WELL lizzy is was freed and kaeun is in limbo (more on her later). now all we need is eyoung to be freed and i can sleep better. 

-news on secret: the news is that TS is a shitshow but what else is new. at least hyosung and jieun were freed.

 -FX COMEBACK- GODDAMNIT

 -Shinee to be happy and healthy: this is sort of a wish because i can never really know if they’re happy but in terms of what i can judge aka content this was a great shinee year. minho solo when

-9muses comeback PLEASE: got a great kyungri solo debut and it aint over till hyemi says its over but please one more comeback PLEASE

-aoa comeback: FUCK ALL OF THE HATERS BINGLE BANGLE RULES AND U ALL SAID THEY WOULD FAIL WITHOUT CHOA HA

-hello venus comeback: LOOK i know fantagio is a mess but they managed to gave their other groups a comeback COME THE FUCK ON

-for companies to just stop kidding themselves and disband dal shabet and bestie: with woohee gones dal shabet is over and im pretty sure bestie’s company doesn’t exist anymore so i guess thats solved

-solji to come back to exid: YEEEESSSSSS OUR MOTHER AND QUEEN IS BACK

-more non-taeyeon snsd solos (and a taeyeon one too thatd be great): fuck solos we actually got lil touch i didnt see that coming at all. oh AND a bunch of solos too snsd had to die so snsd could live i guess.

-any post-ioi group to get a win: Dia and wjsn! 

-ladies code comeback (or at least a hint at group activity): the hint came from a christmas song so i should be happy however i am unsatisfied. 

-t-ara news: the news is theyre being secretive in between solo work c’mon hyomin give up your plans

-fiestar news-disbanded and im still sad

-brown eyed girls comeback: someday...i have hope...i know they want to...

-LEE HI COMEBACK: FUCK YG but that goes without saying

-deleted a stupid one sorry gyus

-yoongi singing: lol im not even into bts anymore but i still like yoongi and seesaw is still a banger great job my dude

-kaeun to get into the produce48 group: hmph. normally i wouldnt be worried with her high place and the hype like it should be easy to give her something to do right? however this is pledies we’re talking about so i can only hope that what lizzy said and the rumors of her joining a new girl group come true. argh why pledis id even trust her with cube over them look at soyeon

-girls day comeback: see brown eye girls above

-a not terrible produce 48 group k at least put hitomi in it: I love izone i got over my hangups with the lineup real quick and now cringe at grown-ass adults still going off about a fourteen-year-old. like y’all. you can stan the group its fine they’re nice and talented girls. i swear. you’ll like them. hyewon is my queen. i still find wonyoung too young to connect with (im finding now that im too old to truly bias any idol under 16 or even 17. yujin is fifteen but she’s near the middle of my izone bias list.) but ya know what? its fine. theres 11 other girls to like. la vie en rose is a bop. sakura i love you. that is all.

-PLEASE EX 2NE1 MEMBERS DO SOMETHIN; minzy’s touring and bom of all people seems likely to release solo work before cl but like. its sad man i dont really consider this one done. fuck yg.

-fuck an fx comeback someone just tell me if they’re alive: can i even answer this one i dont know i think i was mad when i wrote it

-some kind of jbj/ibi like group from produce 48: Nope, probably unlikely due to the difficulties of getting any akb girls over there (i follow all of the contestants on instragram and they all seem pretty busy like miu and sae and miho and miru have actual shit to do). but i can dream.

...

alright out of approximately 30 wishes (i cant count) about half of them (i cant count) were at least partially fulfilled. this year was great for a lot of groups i like but not really for my 2nd gen and post-ioi faves. all of my absolute fave stuff came from groups that didnt even exist last year- fromis, idle, and izone. 

how do i even react to all of this im feeling to many emotions. moral of the story: fuck kpop companies the end

[briannamarguerite]

Happy belated birthday to the utterly fabulous @suddenclarityharry who sent us the above prompt. I hope you enjoy this self-indulgent drabble thing!! (it’s kind of different, but that means other people can still use the prompt)  xoxo

The squeak that Harry let out would have been mortifying if he hadn’t already reached his peak level of embarrassment.

“Oh, no. No, no. No, no, no,” Harry said into his palm, which had flown up to cover his mouth once he’d clicked on the stupid post. “Nooooo.”

This was not happening. It couldn’t be. The person had even used his name. Harry. They didn’t go to a big university, everyone was going to know it was him.

Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse, a small cough interrupted the mental fuck-shit-i-have-to-move-and-change-my-name that was blaring on repeat.

Harry’s eyes snapped up. And of course it was Louis Tomlinson standing over him. No one ever came to this corner of the library, it was Harry’s special place that he could escape to when he wanted some peace and quiet. But today of all days here was Louis Tomlinson, one perfect eyebrow raised, his hip cocked, looking ready to dive into action if Harry needed saving of some sort.

“You okay, mate?” Louis asked, pitching his tone low. His voice was still beautiful and raspy and would have made the butterflies in Harry’s stomach dance had they not all been paralyzed from sheer mortification.

He sucked in air, about to attempt some sort of chill answer despite the circus music that had started playing in his brain, but his tongue tangled on itself and all that came out was “Mmghfiph.”

Which brought out the crinkles by Louis’ eyes and made Harry want to crawl under the table. It was just… he looked so soft and beautiful, in joggers that hugged his thighs and a comfy sweatshirt that brought out the bit of green in his blue eyes. He’d thrown a beanie on over his lovely brown hair, completing the effortless, I just rolled out of bed and still am hotter than you look.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Louis said, as he slid into the chair across from Harry… and that really would not help with the forming of words thing at all. “Harry right?”

And … what? “Um, yeah. Harry. Me. I’m Harry.”

The crinkles were back, but Louis pressed his lips together as if to hide a smile. It didn’t seem mocking. “Me, I’m Louis.”

Harry groaned and dropped his face in his hands. Maybe if he closed his eyes this would all be a horrifying dream. Then a foot brushed against his shin. Not quite hard enough for a kick, but persistent enough to get his attention.

“Hey, for real, are you alright man?” Louis asked, and when Harry dared peek up, the amusement had faded from Louis’ face. Harry missed the warmth of it.

He sighed, and tried to get his shit together. In the end, he simple twisted his laptop toward Louis so he could read the stupid post. The one that detailed what he’d thought had been a nice act of kindness on Saturday night.

A girl had come to the bar at the fancy movie theater he worked at to order a bottle of wine and two glasses. When he’d informed her he’d need to see both IDs, she’d told him that she was there by herself and had been too embarrassed about ordering the whole thing alone.

Since he’d been about to get off his shift, and her eyes had gone a bit damp (at least he’d thought they’d had) he’d done the kind thing and watched the movie with her.

Now, it seemed she’d been on a date all along. And everyone would know about it, because she’d posted on their university’s confessions page.

Harry watched Louis closely as he read over the post, gnawing on his thin, but lovely, bottom lip. When he finished, he looked up, his eyes tracing over Harry’s face for so long that Harry flushed an even deeper pink and actively talked himself out of crawling beneath the table.

“You did that?” Louis asked, tipping his chin toward the screen. Not a trace of humor was left.

The only thing Harry could do was nod, as his mouth still wasn’t fully under his control, and he didn’t want to test it.

Their eyes locked, held, and some sort of tension pulled between them. The throb of it pulsed in Harry’s chest, and he couldn’t blink, or breathe, or look away.

But then Louis broke the moment. Without saying anything he stood, turned and walked away.

Harry let his forehead drop to the table, the thunk of it loud in the quiet library.

****

When he got home that night, there was a post-it stuck to his dorm room door. It was neon green, a bright beacon at the tail end of a terrible day. Harry had spent the whole thing trying to avoid people’s eyes as he heard whispers and giggles follow him where ever he went.  

One girl had tried to ask him on a date, and he didn’t know if she was mocking him, but he’d had to awkwardly stumble through the whole coming out to a stranger thing, and that was never fun. A few people had smiled kindly at him, but he read that as pity and moved along. And through it all he tried to forget the way Louis Tomlinson, the kid he’d had a crush on for his entire freshman and sophomore year probably now thought he was a gullible fool.

He grabbed the post-it, blinking a few times so that the words were more than just a jumble of scribbly slashing lines. Mackey’s coffee shop. It was signed with a smiley face with two x-es where the eyes should be.

Harry led a pretty boring life. He was studying pre-law at a small university in the middle of the state. He had some close friends and went to parties, but he wouldn’t exactly call himself adventurous. Bottom line, he wasn’t in the position to turn down a mysterious invitation. 

Especially not when his brain was whispering that he’d seen that smiley face doodle before. On Louis Tomlinson’s notebook.

Dashing inside to brush a comb through his hair, and spritz a little citrus water on his face, he swapped his school bag for just his wallet and then headed back out.

When he got to Mackey’s his stomach dropped when the only person who was there was Tabby, a nice girl in his stats class. She looked up when he walked in, but didn’t move to approach him further. Harry bit his lip, his stomach clenching at the nothing that he’d managed to eat all day. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sweeping his gaze over the small room just in case he’d somehow missed a person hidden by shadows, Harry turned to leave.

“Hey,” a voice called from behind the register. “You Harry Styles?”

Harry swiveled, but it wasn’t Louis, of course it wasn’t. Instead a brunette kid Harry recognized but didn’t know was holding something out to him.  

“Yup,” he confirmed as he took the small box. His fingers trembled but he waited until he was back outside to open it. A post-it sat on top. I like it how you always laugh at Professor Stevens puns, a big, lovely laugh that escapes even when you try to hold it back. Hawkins Building Rm. 312

Beneath the note was a key chain of a little box of fries. IT’S FRY-DAY, the lettering across the bottom wrote. A laugh-sob slipped from his lips, and he took off at a much faster than normal pace to get to the next location.

And so it went, all over campus, a scavenger hunt. At each place, there was a little box, a message and a small gift.

When Lacey Jones forgot her wallet, you paid for her coffee that one day. Along with a Keurig cup.

I could listen to you talk about Dickens for hours. That one had come with a miniature cock and Harry hadn’t been able to stop the honk laugh that his admirer apparently liked so much.

And so it went until ...

The baseball field.

Something about the post-it felt like the last one. Perhaps because it was lacking a compliment. Harry started running, because, he could be honest with himself, he was embarrassingly excited to see (who he hoped was) Louis right now. His breathing was ragged, and there had been multiple instances of uncontrolled tears, and all of his little presents bounced around in the pockets of his jeans, and he just needed to be at the baseball field. Right. Now.

The lights were on, and he jumped over the low fence in a move that was more graceful than everything else he’d ever done in his life combined.

And there, right by the pitcher’s mound was Louis Tomlinson, his hands clasped in front of himself, dressed in black skinny jeans and a lovely red tee. He looked beautiful beneath the harsh fluorescent lights.

Harry came to a stop less than an arm’s length away. “You,” he breathed, because the only other thing he could think to do was kiss the boy.

Louis’ lips tugged up at the corner. “You disappointed?”

“Never,” Harry said, the word coming out even before Louis stopped speaking. “Never. I’ve liked you forever. Since English class our freshman year.”

Everything about Louis relaxed, and it was only when it did that Harry realized how tense the boy had been. As if he had anything to worry about. “I didn’t want to seem creepy, I hope it wasn’t creepy. I’ve just, yeah, I’ve liked you too.”

Harry honked out another full-body laugh and wasn’t even embarrassed because Louis liked when he did that. On cue, Louis’ crinkles came back around his eyes. 

“Not creepy. I’ve noticed you, too. I knew it was your smiley face.”

Louis snapped his fingers like he was disappointed that the mystery had been ruined, but he didn’t try to hide his full-on smile. “Thwarted by my attempts to be cute.”

“You don’t have to attempt it, you always are,” Harry said, and then rolled his eyes at his own cheesiness. Except. Well, he guessed Louis might be cheesy himself. He’d just sent Harry on a romantic scavenger hunt that ended in a grand reveal in the middle of an empty baseball stadium.

“I wanted you to have a lovely date,” Louis said, reaching out to grab Harry’s hand. Louis’ thumb brushed over Harry’s knuckles and the thrill of it rushed through his bloodstream. “You are so, so lovely and you deserve the best date possible. Or at least the best I could come up with on a half-day’s notice.”

Harry groaned. In the excitement of the past hour he’d forgotten the stupid post. “I’m so mortified everyone knows about that,” he whispered the confession. “People must think I’m so foolish.”

Louis shook his head, and tugged Harry’s hand, pulling them both down onto the blanket that Harry just noticed was spread out on the field. A picnic basket sat on one corner. “You don’t realize how amazing that post made you look. You have such a kind heart Harry.”

Blushing, Harry ducked to avoid Louis’ searching gaze. He couldn’t think of what to say.

“Everyone’s going to want to date you after that,” Louis said, and there was a hint of insecurity in his voice that made Harry’s gaze snap to his.

“I only want to date you,” Harry rushed out, beyond coyness at this point.

He was rewarded by a blinding smile. “Well, that’s very convenient, because I only want to date you,” Louis said. “Alright, now how bout some wine.”

Harry groaned again, dropping his forehead to the nook in Louis’ shoulder and they collapsed to the ground laughing.

***

When Harry got home much, much, much later that nigh with kiss-swollen lips, he logged on to the stupid website with the stupid post. There were tons of comments that he didn’t bother looking through. He maneuvered the cursor to the box, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

Don’t worry, I found someone worthy.

[henry-hart]

The Secret Gets Out s1 ep3

Some quality Charlotte in this ep. Yay!!!!

ooh I know what happens in this one :))))

yay for that bb chenry content

Jasper just taking over the tv screen when c x h won’t watch his clip ajsklsj same

“CM’s big fail” man they do not go gentle with these video titles. really going for the throat

“Hey, look! My bellybutton!” Hen, sweetie. You need to work on your distractions 

Ray looks hella good. just saying. ;)

poor CM. his face when the news lady says, “once again escaping capture from CM.” HE’S TRYING, LADY.

“CM, isn’t it true that the phone shark has been attacking ppl’s phones for over a year now?” “Uh, yes that is true.” askjlk y does he sound like he’s on trial???

“So why don’t you catch him?” “Well, KD and I have been trying.” “But you keep failing. Doesn’t that bug you?” “Yes.” we always talk about Hen’s sass, but Ray has his snarky moments

AJSLKSLKJ JASPER BAD-MOUTHING KD AND HEN JUST STOPS DRINKING HIS DRINK AND IS LIKE, “One more time???” like, the pg version of “tf did you just say???”

“Just saying, I’d be way better at catching bad guys than KD.” “You couldn’t catch butt warts!!!!” Hen u couldn’t be anymore obvious if you tried aksljsjksjl 

“Why are you getting all mad?” “Because Jasper’s being unfair, and I think it’s unfair to criticize m--that...that KD guy when he’s probably doing the best he can. And people should be fair. Fairness. I’m pro-fair.” THAT’S RIGHT BB. U DEFEND YOURSELF. YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST AND I AM PROUD OF U 

his lil pouty face after he gives his little speech is TOO CUTE

can I just say, once again, s1 Hen is the cutest thing ever 

@jace how were u this cute at 13??? I didn’t even look human when i was that age aksjlksj

[MY DRAMATIC DAUGHTER, ENTER STAGE RIGHT]

Pipes blackmailing Jasp with that cup song video alksjslksj (no wonder her parents assumed it was her who was arrested in that xmas ep lolol)

“I NEVER DID THAT!!!! Why would I do that? I NEVER DID THAT!!!!”

Pipes just shoved Hen out the way to sit on the couch aksljslk

Henry didn’t put up much of a fight against Piper in these earlier eps (I mean, when does he ever anyway lol).

jasp....i love u...but...that video is really cringey....

Hen telling Pipes not to put the video on line :)))) my sweet son :)))))

Piper mocking Jasper in the video alkjlsk 

“Why does your watch beep like that?” “It means they need me at work....bye!” “Wait! It’s Sunday. Junk ‘n Stuff is closed on Sunday.” “Right....I better go tell the customers.” Henry you are a terrible liar

which is expected bc he’s sweet and a mess. not a combo that makes for a skilled liar alkjslkj

“There is something up with that boy.” YAS CHARLOTTE YAS my smart/observant daughter (tho hen does make it easy with his crap excuses lolol)

“I’m so tired.” “Oh, quit whining. It was only 4 miles.” “Yeah, 4 miles there and 4 miles back!” ajkjslk poor J

“Uuuggghhh I’m gonna die.” “NOT in the house! If you’re gonna die, do it outside!” Piper does not care. at all. 

so, what??? Char’s just been chillin in Hen’s room in the dark waiting for him to sneak back in??? lolol

poor hen had a mini heart attack ajklksj

Char clearly knows. she’s just asking all those questions to hear Hen’s bs lolol

“I like your shirt.” nice try hen. it’s not working, but nice try.

Char really covered all the bases. she called the store to see if Hen was really there. girl doesn’t mess around when she’s figuring something out. r.e.s.p.e.c.t.

“You wanna know the truth? I’m a jazz musician. I don’t tell a lot of people, but secretly, I play jazz. A-a-and the only time the jazz clubs are open is late at night.” Hen...who taught you how to lie????

God, P x H are such antipodes. You have one sibling who blackmails others with embarrassing secrets to get what they want and then you have the other sibling who can’t come up with a better lie than “I play jazz late at night” aksjslk

“That’s where I was---at a jazz club. Blowing jazz. On mah horn.” i love the way he says this lol

“That’s because YOU’RE Kid Danger!” and a hush falls over the room...

Hen, make as many weird noises and mock being KD all you want. It’s not working. aksjlskj

you know, even if Char wasn’t an uber smart cookie, hen makes it unbelievably easy to figure out

“And I guess you must be Beyonce.” AJKSJKSLJ AN ICONIC HENRY LINE TO PUT IN THE BOOKS, GUYS.

“Okay, this is really big, what I’m about to tell you.” “What? That you’re KD?” “Shuuut UUUuuuUUUpppp!” akljslkj

“I’m KD.” “I know. I figured that out.” CHARLOTTE YOU ARE MY QUEEN

“I swear I’m never gonna tell anyone.” “Thanks.” “Can I tell Jasper???” “Wha---NOOOOOO!!!!”

I love the way he says this in his lil 13 yr old squeaky voice aksjlsksj 

also Char wanting to include J from the get-go :’))))

Ray was so light and cheerful in this season. he’s all “Henry, I didn’t know you were working today. Did I butt-beep you???” whereas now he’s all “YoU cAn’T bE sIcK. yOu’Re ObViOuSlY lYiNg To Me!!!!” ugh

:(((( you can tell Hen is having a hard time telling Ray that Char knows

props to him tho. i would’ve put if off until it eventually just came out at the worst time possible jakjslskj

“Can I talk to you about something?” “Uhhhh....babies come from the baby store!!!” oh Ray

“What’d you tell her?” “That I am KD.” “Ohhhh.” “You’re not mad, are you?” “No, I’m not mad.” “Oh, good.” “You’re fired.” jkalsjlk RAY YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TERRIBLE HE IS AT LYING. IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE IF HE KEPT UP THE LIE

also Hen’s face is causing me pain. he’s so sad :((((

Ray’s being so serious....I’m not used to this. 

“When trust is broken, it can never be fixed.” “Yes it can!” “Read this fortune cookie.” “’When trust is broken, it can never be fixed’....” “Let’s not argue with the Chinese.” aksjslk 

also Ray is really that next level extra. he has fortune cookies to prove his point lolol a legend

Henry listening to jazz and downing a bottle of chocolate syrup alksjslk is this the pg version of drowning your woes in alcohol???

“You’re not gonna find the answer at the bottom of a bottle of chocolate.” *takes bottle away* *Hen takes out a second bottle* “I won’t know if I don’t look.” 

my poor bb. he really thinks he’s a lousy KD

I WANT TO HUG HIM THRU MY LAPTOP SCREEN.

HEN YOU SAVED CM ON YOUR SECOND DAY ON THE JOB. YOU ARE A GREAT KD. 

klajdkl Henry singing a sad version of the cup song

they played a cheering sound effect while he sang omg

(I remember watching a vid where Jace said he doesn’t sing and it’s “probably for the best.” aksjslkjs)

classic pouty/depressed hen laying on his couch. :((((

it’s kind of playing tricks on my mind bc i remember when he did that after he couldn’t defeat Drex, but he looked SOOOO much older in that ep lolol

Jasp having to do Piper’s chores lol

“Henry, come to the Swellview Park right now.” “Nooooo. I’m not in the mood for trees.” jaklsj it be like that sometimes

Piper: “AHHHHH!!!! HEN-RYYYY!!!” Henry: *sighs like ‘here we go again’* akjslk

I LOVE THESE PIPER X HENRY INTERACTIONS (even if it’s her yelling at him lolol)

“Is that makeup on your face???” jokes on you, Hen. you’re all wearing makeup.

i love the faces Hen makes while Piper yells. they’re great

gotta hand it to Ella. she was really committed to this part

“To a club with mah gurlsss.” PIPER NO

“Club 11″ god can u imagine a whole place dedicated to 10-11 yr olds??? i have siblings that age and it’s the worst. possible. age. ever. 

I don’t even understand them most the time. you think i would be able to considering how in tune I am with my kid side, but the stuff they do/say/like is lost on me

sorry for that sidebar

okay, Piper has a fake ID??? a fake license, a fake ID. HOW R U AND HEN EVEN RELATED???

Hen’s out here fighting crime while his lil sis is committing them akljsslkj

I love Hen’s overall indifference??? Like, he’s just like “you better hope mom doesn’t find out” he’s not threatening to tell on her. he just like “not my problem”

even when she’s yelling at him he’s like “whatever. i gotta go.” ajlskjlk I love him

j now has blackmail of his own. oh, how the tables have turned. 

“THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!!!” NEITHER IS YOU TRYING TO GET INTO CLUBS UNDERAGE, PIPER!!!!!

Char is so awesome. instead of just feeling bad about getting hen fired, she’s out her actively trying to help him out, and she’s not doing it for him. she’s just guiding him. she leaves all the redeeming to him. what a stand up character. wow. i lover her. 

wedding crashers chenry style aljksjsl

duh it looks like the phone shark, hen. HE HAS METAL TEETH.

“Now go do CM a favor and catch the phone shark.....Kid Danger.” I squealed. we love supportive bffs here

Hen’s got that pep back in his step 

“What up with the gum?” aksjlsklsj 

OKAY ABOUT THIS GUM THING

I thought Schwoz made the gum???? If he did, then how does Hen have a tube with his own gum for his costume??? Ray and Schwoz are estranged at this point in the show. Schwoz doesn’t even know Ray has a sidekick let alone who Hen is, so how??? does he??? have it????

are they trying to tell me Ray made it???

i love him, but no. 

maybe Gooch??? 

I don’t know

“In sickness and in health, in fitness and obesity, as long as you both can stand it.” these wedding vows are more accurate than the traditional ones, honestly

Henry. looks. so. cute. in. his. lil. costume. like. a. baby. duck. trying. to. be. a. superhero. :)))))

okay, so phone shark guy bites phones, but why??? like, does he eat them, or does he just enjoy biting them??

homeboy is looking at hen’s phone like it’s a whole snack....so he does eat them???

i need to know. 

“Mmmmmm gotta love that new phone smeeEEeeellll.” akjslkj jace was so goofy in the earlier seasons

Charlotte......y do u have binoculars??? this is all happening ten feet in front of you.....???

HEN JUST JUMPED ON THE BACK OF A MAN WITH METAL TEETH. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYONE DISSING HIM AS A SIDEKICK OR ANYTHING ELSE. 

omg the phone shark spun hen and his feet clocked the bride in the face ajklsjlksj

yo wedding gifts are expensive af and Hen just made the phone shark wreck all of them lolol oops

EVERYONE IS CHEERING FOR KD. YAS. YAS. YAS. GIVE HIM THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES. 

omg Hen’s lil celebration dance is so cute :))))

he. gave. CM. all. the. credit. can. u. believe. my. son. is. such. a. good. person.

“It was really my boss, CM.” “Interesting. Can you tell us more?” “.....No....” lololol

Ray’s all “you gave me all the credit” in this awed voice DAWWWWWW

y is he suited up as CM tho???

“Well everyone’s been giving you a hard time about catching the phone shark. I figured I’d help you out.” YA’LL I AM SOBBING. THIS IS THE SWEETEST BOY.OL

“Uhhhhh excuse me? I’m the one who found the phone shark.” 

TELL. THEM. CHARLOTTE. Like, who are you to go giving credit??? I’m the one who found him???

Ray doing one of those full body groans that he always does. dramatique

“Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte. What am I going to do with you?” “I think it’s pretty obvious: give me a job here! You guys need me.” GIRL YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF IT.

srsly how many times does Char save their a**es??? too many times to count. hiring her is one of the best things you’ll ever do, Ray.

HENRY IS SUCH A LIL BEAN COMPARED TO`RAY. LIKE, THEY’RE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER, BOTH WEARING THEIR SUPER SUITS, AND JUST---HENRY. IS. SO. TINY. O. M. G.

Char explaining how she found the phone shark and making it clear how obvious her thought process was while Ray x Hen are just like “.....”

“I called some dentists...” “We should’ve called some dentist!” “We totally should’ve!” “Then I went online...” “We should’ve gone online!” “What is wrong with us???”

they feel so dumb for not thinking of cheCKING DENTAL RECORDS FOR SOMEONE WITH METAL TEETH. HONESTLY YOU TWO. HOW HAVE YOU GOTTEN THIS FAR????

if it wasn’t obvious before that you need Char, is pretty obvious now. 

“Off to my cousin’s wedding. Hope they serve phones for dessert. LOL.” “She’s good.” “She is.” COME ON GUYS. I AGREE, CHAR IS GOOD, BUT HOW DO YOU NOT PIECE ALL THAT OBVIOUSNESS TOGETHER????

Honestly, Ray getting a younger sidekick makes the most sense to me because can u imagine Ray trying to navigate social media??? or going through the internet like char did??? or hacking into anything??? No.

dude needed some gen z kids to help him out with the modern world aljskljs

“She could really help us out around here.” YOU AIN’T LYING.

“Us???” “Oh, right....you fired me.” “Well you broke the oath.” he sounds like such a pouty manchild akjslkjskj

wow hen ur already on a first name basis with your boss

i don’t know why i’m just pointing this out

homeboy was calling him Ray within a few hours ajlkjsklsj

Hen was so happy when Ray hired him back :))))))

DAWWWW HEN X RAY JUST SHARED THE CUTEST HUG!!!!!!!!

Char: “Cough cough cough.” lolol

“What are you going to do about Charlotte???” “UUUuuuuuUUUggggGGGhhhHHH well, she knows you’re KD. She knows who I am. She knows where the Man Cave is because you brought her down here!” I laughed so hard here. poor Hen was too excited about his job well done so he just took Char into their super secret hideout akljslk

“Sooooooo what does that mean?” “That we either have to kill you, erase your brain, or give you a job.”

REALLY RAY. REALLY. YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR SIDEKICK’S TRUSTWORTHY BFF SPILLING YOUR SECRET, BUT WHEN A VILLAIN. WHO. WANTS. TO. DESTROY. YOU!!!!! ESCAPES WITH BOTH YOUR IDENTITIES, YOU JUST LET HER GO???? YOU NEVER TRY TO FIND HER AGAIN???? TF?????

“I vote job.” “We can really erase her brain???” “Dude!” cuties

“Alright, she can have a job here--” *C x H celebrate* “--IF--” *C x H jump* “--she can pass the pickle test.” *C x H share similar ‘tf???’ expressions* 

BORK!!! MY MAN!!!! (i just realized Gooch wasn’t in this one)

I wish they’d give Bork more of a role. :( they just have him kind of....grunt....and that’s all.

I do like in the green finger ep where he just dumps Ray out of the shopping cart though bc same jkajlskjl (Ray was being such a baby in that ep and I would’ve done the same)

“You have to prove you’re clever enough to work for CM.” “I found the phone shark.” “Well anyone could do that.” “Not you two.” “Well, you know what--” “Okay, let’s not go there.” aksjdlkj

not gonna lie, when Ray was like, “get the pickle out” the first thing I thought of--before Char did it--was to just break the jar alkjslksj great minds think alike, Char ;)))

“How much time does she have?” “Exactly five min--” *shatters the jar* “Here’s your pickle.”

“That was Bork’s favorite jar.” pfffff

“So, wait, is Charlotte hired???” “Yeah....yeah she’s hired.”

they’re little celebratory high-five was too. cute. 

i love my smol happy bbs

Henry being all excited to show her the tubes :)))))

“Hug me.” *side-eyes him* “Just trust meee.” CLASSIC CHENRY MOMENT AJLKSJLSKJ

BORK COMING BACK TO GET HIS JAR AND SEEING IT BROKEN AJKLSJSLK THAT DRAMATIC LOOK OFF INTO THE DISTANCE WHILE A SINGLE TEAR FALLS DOWN HIS CHEEK. GET THIS MAN AN OSCAR ALKJLSKJ

Piper scrubbing J’s feet lolol that’s karma, P.

another wholesome episode that left me all smiley and happy :)))))

i love early Henry. he was such a little cutie who was excited about everything

there was some GREAT Char content this ep---she was one of the biggest parts

<3333

[memoriesofkpop]

Adoration of U Ch 5

Tags: Fluff, Angst Jihoon; Jun; Soonyoung (Hoshi); (Y/N) Female Reader; ft. other members of Seventeen Series: 5/? 

Ch 5: Drift Away

Hours passed as the boys danced, taking small breaks here and there.

She watched the boys, taking in the energy and passion that exudes from them.

A phone beeped from the side, causing her to remember that she had left her phone in the studio. She waiting until the boys took another break before walking up to Soonyoung.

The boy beamed at her and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Oppa, can I borrow your phone?" She asked.

"Of course," he said, pointing to his duffel bag on the side.

She bowed and casually skipped over to it. She dug for the phone but paused when she noticed it was password protected.

"Hmm... birthday?.. no.." she thought to herself.  "Debut date..? No... first win...? No... " she tried.

"Oppa, whats the password?" She called out. Before Soonyoung could say anything, Mingyu flew forward.

"I know I know!!!!" Shouted the boy, grabbing at the phone.

"What. How would you know?" Soonyoung said, walking up to the pair.

"You said before that it’s important," mingyu said with a wink. The phone clicked opened as (Y/N) watched Mingyu's reaction. Soonyoungs face dropped when he saw his screen light up and looked up at the younger boy who had a smirk on his face.

"What is it?" She asked Mingyu.

"NOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO" Soonyoung shouted. Stepping closer to them and taking the phone from Mingyu. "No need to know. Here. What did you need it for anyway?" He asked her.

"To tell Jihoonie oppa to bring my phone. I think it's still off in his studio," she said, searching for Jihoonies name in the list of contacts. "But really. Why won't you tell me your passcode? You know mine," she continued as she held the phone up to her ear as it rang.

He shook his head.

"It's.. not quite the same..."

"Why not?" She pouted, still waiting for the other boy to pick up.

"Cause..."

"Oh! Hello Jihoonie oppa. It's (Y/N)." She said into the phone.

Soonyoung watched as she turned away from him slightly. Mingyu let out a small chuckle before patting Soonyoung on the back and walking away. "Yeah. Can you grab my phone later. I think it's still on the couch. Yeah! That one. Yup. Mhm. Thank you oppa. See you soon," she said.

She smiled at Soonyoung before handing him back his phone.

"Thanks," she said. "And I like your phone background. "

He glanced at his phone and smiled. It was a picture of them, smiling brightly into the camera.

----

"Sit next to me, (Y/N)!!" Called out Minghao.

"Nooooo! Noona sit next to me!" Chan stated

"No! Sit next to me!" Seungcheol stated, quickly pulling her close to him. Laughing at his cute action, she cuddled up to him.

"Nooo. (Y/N)!!" Soonyoung pouted as he sat next to them.

"Okay okay. I'll sit here. Is this okay?" She said, pushing herself off seungcheol and nuzzling in between him and Soonyoung. Chan and minghao hopped onto the couch behind them. Soonyoung immediately pulled her towards him. She giggled as she laid down beside him, resting her head on his chest, blanket pulled up. Just then, Jihoonie walked in. He smiled at the sight before leaning over and handing her the phone.

"Oh! Thank you Jihoonie oppa!" She said, sitting up to reach for the phone. He nodded back before taking his place next to Soonyoung. Other boys made themselves comfortable next to seungcheol or on the couch. Some went to make popcorn, arriving a bit later.

She laid back down between the boys as she held her phone up. She hesitated a bit before turning it on. The screen shone brightly in her face as her lock screen appeared. Suddenly, a wave of notifications hit. Text after texts. Missed calls after missed calls. Most from them from Jun.

"Hey... you don't need to think about that now. Come on.  Let's have a nice movie night," Soonyoung said, reaching over to take her phone.

"No, wait. " she said, moving the phone that was still in her hand away.

Soonyoung froze, his hand still in the air.

She quickly put in her pass and clicked on the messages.

"Let's talk."

"(Y/N)... look.. it's not what it seems.."

"Pick up my calls"

"Did you turn off your phone? This isn't funny. "

"I can explain"

"You have no idea what's going on"

"Stop ignoring me!"

"You have no Right to do this to me"

"I have given you everything you have ever wanted!"

"You b----! You're so ungrateful!"

"No wonder your ex left you.  No wonder why I felt the need to find someone else. Are you jealous that she's prettier than you will ever be? Is that it? "

".... hey... I didn't mean that.."

"I'm serious... please... pick up my calls.."

She sighed at the messages as she scanned the words on her screen.

Just then, a familiar caller Id appeared on her screen. Jun.

Soonyoung immediately took her phone and declined the call.

"Oppa.." she started, tears in her eyes.

"Stop.." he said as he pulled her close again. "He's not worth it."

Jihoonie looked over worriedly.

"Let's... let's start the movie," a voice suggested after clearing their throat. No one refused. (Y/N) continued to rest her head on Soonyoungs chest, listening close to his heartbeat and watching the way his body would slowly rise and fall. Her eyes were on the screen but her mind never strayed from Jun. Halfway through the movie, she had moved closer to Soonyoung. He gently placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled her even closer.

---

She woke to the sound of soft snores and the movie starting screen. She gently pushed herself up and glanced around for any signs of them waking. When she was certain they would stay asleep, she felt for her phone and checked the time.

3:56 am

Her eyes shot open. She didn't mean to stay the night, but from the looks of it, everyone was content with it.

She pushed herself up and headed for the kitchen to grab a cup of water, thinking about how to leave without waking the others. She stood by the counter, glancing at the messy kitchen as she took small sips. Suddenly, soft arms wrapped around her waist, causing her to jump and choke a bit on the water. she swiftly turned only to see a tired Soonyoung.

"What are you doing up? Go back to sleep, Oppa" she said softly.

He shook his head and leaned over to rest his head on her shoulder.

"Come back with me" he replied.

"I don't even have clothes here to sleep in anymore," she stated.

Without even speaking, he pulled her forward, out of the kitchen and guided her to a room. There, he rummaged through some drawers before handing her a large t shirt and some basketball shorts.

"Here. Wear these for now. "

"What?"

"You can wear them as pjs. You can use this bathroom here, or any really. Don't leave me yet. I want you here as long as possible." He pouted.

Unable to refuse his cute face, she sighed and took the clothes from him.

"Will these even fit me?" She asked as she walked towards the bathroom.

Soonyoung simply shrugged, knowing that it most likely wouldn't.

A couple minutes later, she walked out with the t shirt on. It was long enough to almost reach her knees.

"The shorts are too big," she stated, handing them back. "I still have mine on. It's fine," she continued.

He smiled at her, hoping the darkness hid his blush.

He quickly took her by the hand and led her back to the warmth of blankets. They laid down, trying their best to not disturb the rest from their slumber. He pulled her close as she rested her head on his chest. Soon enough, they fell asleep in each other's arms. Jihoonie watched with saddened eyes at the pair in front of him, watching the sweet actions occur.

----

He woke from the coldness hitting his body. Soonyoung looked around and noticed the empty spot beside him. He sighed, disappointed that she had left without a word. Unable to fall back asleep, he stood and walked towards his room. He glanced at his bed and noticed a small note in the center.

Prev  |  Next

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7  Ch 8

[fatgumtouille]

all the creepy shit, i dare you to answer all of it

MATT PLEASE omg ok 

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

idk who I said it to tbh??? probably @trenazlore and YES I LOVE HER SO MUCH !!

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

NO OH MY GOD IM JUST AN OLD GRANDMOTHER 

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

always ???? I mean like lately people have been really nice to me and Im happy because wow!! you like me!! also Im aggro because I hate me lol 

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Yeah I smile at them all the time?? Its kind of something I got used to after working retail for so long 

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Im not dating anyone lol also who the fuck cares ??? 

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Heathens by 21p is ALWAYS on the radio and it reminds me of @bearlylocal because Josh Dunn is her boy 

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

omg my Yamaguchi Tadashi cosplay shorts and a Celty Sturluson t shirt with the neckline cut lower and the sleeves cut off 

8. How often do you listen to music?

Every day but its usually pandora or the radio in the car

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Im not a pants wearing girl but I wear jeans/nicer pants to work  

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

TWENTY THIRTEEN 

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Social! I used to be antisocial but working in retail has really helped me open up to people and now I wont SHUT. UP

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Nope 

13. What about ‘R’?

No lol 

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

NOOOO Scary

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yeah and no like ???? Ok if I dont know abot it then whatever I guess

16. Are you going out of town soon?

Going up to LA for an anime con in January!! 

17. When was the last time you cried?

I almost cried last night for no reason??? um probably a few days or weeks ago??? 

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah all the time!

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

I would LOVE green eyes omg

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

FATGUM Or Justin Tomimori OR my pet rabbit Quincy

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I bought a vacuum that was too small and now I have to take it back to the store ugh

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Sure!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

NO Omg

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my bed which is currently unmade and naked (also theres a bunny in my lap!)

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Kristin and I say it to each other all the time ! Also Danni and most of my other friends 

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

YEAh

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

UUUuhhh tumblr user @fatyumm

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Maybe one or two bad ones a year

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

I think I bought it at an anime con? 

30. Does anyone hate you?

P sure my two ex besties lol 

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

AHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahHH YEAh

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I love scary movies omg!!! rec me some !

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

No Im too much of a weenie for that 

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

GOD 

freshman year of college? I would want to never move away fro school tbh 

35. Did you have a dream last night?

YEAH it was almost sexy but I kept getting INTERRUPTED

then I had another one with my ex bestie in it 

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Last night!

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Doubful 

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

At least two tumblr anons I think 

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I hope so!

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

I felt really sick when I first got to work and then later on before bed but other than that it was ok 

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

lol no try a whole year back 

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I HOPE The cute sample girl is working at the store Im stationed at tomorrow 

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

not that I can think of off the top of my head

44. What’s the best part about school?

NOTHIng 

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

So many

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

I DID in like seventh grade lol 

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

YEA all the time 

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Think so, yeah!

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

nope! I dont go to school anymore and i dont work at a pet store so things are p different 

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

fuck idk??? Id LIKE to be writing fic

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

My dad ???? No but he IS a homophobe

52. Are you nice to everyone?

I try really hard to be !

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

YYEeeeaaaa

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Ive done it before and I know I can do it again 

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Im SO good at pretending Im not crying 

56. Do you think you like someone?

Fatgum

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

NOoooo

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Girls and nb people

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Kristin had to deal with me crying all through the second half of RENT

60. Do you hate anyone?

No one I know personally but I wouldn’t be mad if something really terrible happene dto T/r/ump

61. How’s your heart?

It’s beatin

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

UUUMMM.....I just dont really like talking about what I was like in middle school I guess

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

YEAH64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

the ex besties lol 

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

they arent painted at all lol

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

sure hope not!

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

FUck if I know! I mean, I would hate to see the person Im with crying 

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

my pants are always falling down because my butt is small 

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mom 

70. How do you look right now?

probably.....tired

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

lots of people!

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes!

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

”Opposite” sexes dont exist but I only have one close guy friend and we havent talked in a while but! I feel like I can tell @adol everything

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

lol when your bestie gets a bf

75. Did you wake up cranky?

no, just exhausted

76. Are you a jealous person?

I like to think not

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

I like to think so but....havent really ever experienced one that was

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

HMMMmmmm

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

Id kill to see any of my friends rn but they all live far and Im poor lol

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

go to work and sell some Indian food

81. Last person you cried in front of?

honestly, probably Kristin but if we’re counting non humans? my bunnies

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

most of my friends, I HOPE

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

god I hope Fatgum is protective of me 

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

I DONT SPEAK JAPANESE so probably just staring at each other awkwardly 

(this is about both Fatgum and Justin)

85. Are you over your past?

who knows

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

WHATS AN OPPOSITE SEX LOL and no

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Kristin!! 

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I mean who says anyone Ive dated in the past has been a “true love” of mine 

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

IT WAS LITERALLY A RANDO AT SOME ANIME CON SO GOD NO 

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

UUUUUUmmmmmmm.......I dont think my friends or family were ever fond of some of my exes....

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

dang, sure hope so

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Ye, but we dont talk anymore

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nah

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

No, I had just broken up with someone :/

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

IDK if I liked anyone in March??? I dont think I did

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

@hamsa-heart???? YES97. Who do you have texts from?

Kristin, Hazel, my mom, my boss, etc

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

sucks to suck but live your dreams dude

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

YEa

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

I dont think theres anyone else in any of my profile pics

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

GOD I WISH102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

YYEEEAaahhh

[hehebread]

i got tagged by the lovely @missbelgium to do this ask meme. Thank you so much!! this was a nice distraction for the evening! i promise to do the rest very soon.

LAST

1. Drink: just a glass of water

2. Phone call: my dad

3. Text message: “third wheeling intensifies” that or “YOU HAVE ALL MY LOVE”. 

4. Song you listened to: Addicted To You by Avicii

5. Time you cried: Monday. you would think it was bc i had to go to work but no. it was “A Dog’s Purpose”. watched it late afternoon. made me cry like a baby.

HAVE YOU

6. Dated someone twice: nah cuz i never dated before. 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i … dont think so…

8. Been cheated on: nah fam.

9. Lost someone special: yes, i have. more than i’d like to admit. sometimes it was my fault, sometimes it wasnt, but it all hurt the same.

10. Been depressed: i fall in and out of bad episodes. some days are more bearable than others. 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i dont drink lol.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12-14: uhhh thats a tough one. red and blue are my colors, but purple strikes a chord with me too.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: yesss, many!! here and irl. 

16. Fallen out of love: hhhh in a way i did. not with people but with ideas, concepts, and dreams.

17. Laughed until you cried: ye s tahnk god

18. Found out someone was talking about you: um yeah for sure, but its nothing im not used. it happens y’know. 

19. Met someone who changed you: i did actually. in the most subtle and discreet way. the thing is, i got close to so many people in the past year and just started picking up on their little quirks and mannerisms. and suddenly im swearing in spanish. puta madre  i outta be ashamed 

20. Found out who your friends are: sadly yah. wasnt too thrilled. 

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: my parents?????

GENERAL

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them. thats why i semi-ditched fb. 

23. Do you have any pets: YESS!! three chickens and a rooster. two lovebirds. we used to have an african gray but we gave it away to grandma to keep her company. we also have this rat who’d been living in our garage for a while now. dunno if that counts.

24. Do you want to change your name: i kinda do. but i feel like i got too attached to it at this point.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: a few of my lovely flatmates and I went out for crepes. got many happy birthday wishes that day. I was on my own most of it but thats okay.

26. What time did you wake up: fucking 5:52am.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably not sleeping. why u ask?

28. Name something you can’t wait for: …………………………………. havent looked forward to anything in a very long time. maybe deadpool. no clue.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: if i could, i’d give myself a better childhood. 

31. What are you listening to right now: Home We’ll Go by Walk off the Earth

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: probably. my memory is shit at remembering stuff like that tho.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: some of my colleagues utter inability to communicate their feelings or concerns. my utter inability to communicate my feelings or concerns.

RANDOM INFO ABOUT YOURSELF

35. Mole/s: two on my right palm. one on my left palm. another on the back of my neck. one higher in my forehead, and two others in places that shall not be named.

36. Mark/s: stretch marks around my thighs.

37. Childhood dream: a younger (and much happier) version of me wanted to become a neurosurgeon or a heart surgeon. idk about that anymore tho.

38. Hair color: ver y dark black.

39. Long or short hair: pretty long. down to my lower back. two years ago it used to not reach down to my chin. i keep changing my hair style quite a lot.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: uuhhh yeah kinda but im hopeless everything is hopeless.

41. What do you like about yourself: umm tough one. my perseverance, probably. 

42. Piercings: two in one ear and one in the other. might get more.

43. Blood type: O+

44. Nickname: Raz is actually my nickname, or rather, the english equivalent of it.

45. Relationship status: orders meal for two to have leftovers for later.

46. Zodiac: Aries

47. Pronouns: she/her or they/them but really it doesnt matter to me that much. anything goes.

48. Favorite TV Show: is this a good place to say i love drake&josh

49. Tattoos: nada

50. Right or left hand: right-handed 

51. Surgery: on my gums. 5 yrs ago.

52. Hair dyed in different color: i used to dye it with henna.

53. Sport: track & field all the way. i dont do it anymore but id love to. 

55. Vacation: yesss i love vacations. would love to travel around some more.

56. Pair of trainers: sketchers.

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: nothin. i should go get some melon.

58. Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: go get melons. or go out for dinner in like two hours.

61. Waiting for: a sense of purpose or fulfillment in life… that or my fave author to update.

62. Want: my sister’s blueberry muffins.

63. Get married: maybe platonically but otherwise nah.

64. Career: im hoping to become a doctor. hoping.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: HUGS. ALL KINDS OF THEM. but cheek/head/forehead kisses are also very very pleasant.

66. Lips or eyes: …eyes.

67. Shorter or taller: shorter. i dont like looking up.

68. Older or younger: than who?? than what?? 

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice muscular arms. on ladies. yes.

71. Sensitive or loud: loud for sure. i love people with energy.

72. Hook up or relationship: umm neither? but if i hadta choose then a relationship.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker. life’s too short.

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a stranger: as a greeting. yes.

75. Drank hard liquor: oh, no.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: to this day, no I have not, thank goodness.

77. Turned someone down: admittedly, yes.

78. Broken someone’s heart: i sure hope not.

79. Had your heart broken: yea </3

80. Been arrested: heavens no. not yet.

81. Cried when someone died: yes

82. Fallen for a friend: ……………………………………………..yea

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

83. Yourself: i try. i really do.

84. Miracles: ofc

85. Love at first sight: not really. that just doesnt happen. love needs time, patience, and hard work. 

86. Santa Claus: hahaha nooooo. i dont celebrate the holidays.

87. Kiss on the first date: shrugs

OTHER:

89. Eye colour: dark brown

90. Favorite movie: for a very very long time, it was shrek, but then the memes happened so 

I tag @wandschrankheld @awkwardslytherin and @snark-sniper and @of-pasta-and-potatoes. you guys dont have to do it ofc. but if you do, pls tage me!! i’d love to see it.

[disappointingpastasalad]

fuckin answer all the questions, esp 104 but all of them waste your day

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? >>>Yikes Wazowski

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?>>>YIKES WAZOWSKI

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?>>>nah man, we goin through this shit together either way

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?>>>yea

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?>>>…….. high ?

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?>>>lmao yeah but ain’t that just the way

7. What does your last received text say?>>>it’s an image of Michael Scott

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?>>>thank god that was the only time 😭

9. Where was your last kiss at?>>>a friend’s basement

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?>>>mmmm last week ?

11. What do you drink in the morning?>>>usually water or milk lol

12. Where did you sleep last night?>>>in my bed 😩👌🏻

13. Do you think relationships are hard?>>>emotionally ? Yes. Physically ? Not at allllll

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?>>>yeahhhhhh

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?>>>YEP

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?>>>rainyyy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?>>>……..unfortunately I have the most common middle name for white girls

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?>>>sweat pantssssss

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?>>>hope soooo

20. Does anyone like you?>>>yee

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?>>>not that I know of lol

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?>>>arguably, yes

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?>>>lmao YEAH a few actually

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?>>>MORE THAN YOU KNOW

25. In the past week have you cried?>>>SEE ABOVE

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? >>>a pitbull mix :)

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?>>>both, it’s a process

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?>>>lol yea

29. Do you think you’re old?>>>nah. im only 18

30. Do you like text messaging?>>>more than talking on the phone, yeah

31. What type of day are you having?>>>slow, boring

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?>>>ye, figured a lip ring would look better lol

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?>>>cold–it is my natural state of being

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?>>>several !!

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?>>>right now I think id rather a nice lil fling

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?>>>I am but a simple farm boy in most regards, though I am a complex city slicker at times

37. What song are you listening to?>>>im actually listening to a podcast about Jeffrey Dahmer rn yikes

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?>>>nearly 100% of the time

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?>>>yea its @solarscam on here lmao

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?>>>idk he’s cute and funny and we vibe well

41. When did you last receive a text message?>>>like 3 minutes ago lol

42. What is wrong with you right now?>>>Too Much to name

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?>>>it was my mom so pretty well? I was inside of her so

44. Does anyone disgust you?>>>other than myself?? The person who made me feel like this abt myself

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?>>>tbh yeah

46. Are you in a good mood right now?>>>im not in a bad mood lol

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?>>>my sister, moments ago

48. What color shirt are you wearing?>>>red rn

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?>>>yeah, quite a bit from multiple people retry recently.

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?>>>only a few ex friends 🤗

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?>>>nah, I don’t think I’ve ever Truly Fallen

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?>>>mmHhmmmm

53. Do you like rain?>>>yes yes yes

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?>>>I’d hope they would be cool with me drinking at least, otherwise I dong give a fuck

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?>>>its my MO tbh

56. Do you like to cuddle?>>>YES YEs I love it yes

57. Are you shy?>>>lol only if im around ppl I want to impress

58. Do you get along with girls?>>>?? Yeah man

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?>>>nah but we did just start talking over tinder so 💁🏻‍♂️

60. What do you carry with you at all times?>>>color-changing silly putty and chapstick 😅

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?>>>yeah man im a slut for paranormal activity and $$$

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?>>>depends on the relationship tbh

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?>>>nope

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?>>>yes omg

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?>>>nah. Mostly things that are remarkably un-cute

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?>>>shit like, 18, 20, and 22 I believe ??

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? >>>pay, im not very good

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? >>>ew to both but I guess leopard ?? Idfk

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? >>>nah. Too dirty

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? >>>depends on my mood lol

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? >>>iPhone. Im an apple bitch 🙃

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? >>>probably like, a week or two ago

73. Do you like diet soda? >>>ew no I have standards

74. What color are the walls in your room? >>>blueish green

75. Are you 16 or older? >>>I sure hope so

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?>>>tried to, more of a gossip girl guy myself tbh

77. Do you have a job? >>>yep! Grinding foam at a factory 😂

78. What are your initials? >>>they’re gonna be AQL soon lol

79. Did you ever have braces? >>>*war flashbacks* yeah

80. Are you from the south? >>>South West Michigan lmao

81. What does your last status on facebook say? >>>idfk probably me thanking ppl for coming to my grad party

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? >>>lmao yeah

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? >>>my mom for sure

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?>>>nooooo

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? >>>Captain Underpants 😩👌🏻

86. Do you smoke? >>>only 🍁🔥

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? >>>Flippity floppity floo

88. Is your phone touch screen? >>>in this, the year of our lord 2017, who’s phone isn’t

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? >>>its naturally pretty straight but when it gets long it likes to flip up at the ends lol

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? >>>yeah

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? >>>pool tbh, unless its like Lake Michigan lol

92. Have you ever made out in a car? >>>yes

93. …Had sex in a car? >>>lol not yet

94. Are you single or in a relationship? >>>painfully single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? >>>trying to forget some stuff by doing reckless things

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? >>>lol last night

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? >>>yeah it’s not too shabby

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? >>>I mean?? Kind of

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? >>>no, but I’ve helped a few different people when they passed out

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? >>>mHmm

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? >>>lmao not yet

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: >>>BITCH probably We R Who We R

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? >>>yeah from my binder on my back lol

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? >>>I hate that I have done this before ??

[loutatouille]

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

tagged by: @softggogh (thank u u angel)

LAST… [1] drink: some russian virgin soda mojito thing.... it’s mojito soda basically [2] phone call: mah madre [3] text message: “I’m gonna cook an egg on the sidewalk tomorrow” [4] song you listened to: “happy” by Marina and the Diamonds [5] time you cried: i mean technically this morning from stubbing my toe but the *actual* time is prolly yesterday

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: hell no [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: noooo [10] been depressed: honestly? idfk [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: haha yeah too many times

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] red [13] gold [14] purple (you may call me your highness)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: no [17] laughed until you cried: def yeah [18] found out someone was talking about you: noooo but now i am Le Paranoid(TM) [19] met someone who changed you: yea and its been pretty fun so far [20] found out who your true friends are: what does this even mean but yes i think? [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no, i literally only use fb for the messenger thing and havent updated in months

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: one (1) [23] do you have any pets: yes! a cat, two betta fish, and six mice that i’m caring for over the summer  [24] do you want to change your name: nah [25] what did you do for your last birthday: went to sunsplash for the first time in my life. twas great! [26] what time did you wake up: time isnt real (..12 pm) [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching nature documentaries [28] name something you cannot wait for: to get my own apartment tbh. i want my freedom damnit  [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: literally just now [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not much. maybe more adventure?  [31] what are you listening to right now: astrology livestream! [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: nah [33] something that is getting on your nerves: idk? flighty people, talking during movies, people hurting animals [35] elementary: the happiest years of my life. (let me go back dammit) [36] high school: no. [37] college: (dont remind me of my upcoming torture) [38] hair colour: dark brown. i have some light streaks from when i bleached my entire head, dyed it, and some of it washed off [39] long or short hair: kinda long but its summer in california rn so im looking forward to chopping it all off (long hair= insulation= back/neck sweat :P) [40] do you have a crush on someone: lmaaaoo nooooo [41] what do you like about yourself?: im flawless, next question [42] piercings: one on each ear, waiting for mine to heal so i can get them redone (they were crooked) [43] blood type: ??????????? tomato soup  [44] nickname: louie bc louisa sounds so... full and weird and “adult” [45] relationship status: single hmu to change that  [46] zodiac sign: leo :) [47] pronouns: she/her but i really do not care [48] fav tv show: ATLA, B99, there’s more but I cant remember them [49] tattoos: id get one as soon as i can but im all fleshy and unscarred rn 
[50] right or left handed: left

FIRST… [51] surgery: actually, none [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: first bestfriend was actually 2 girls from elementary. we really fuckin loved horses  [54] sport: soccer. loved it. [55] vacation: to florida. it used to be a yearly thing to go there but now we’re lazy [56] pair of trainers: flip flops fuk u

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: nothing [59] i’m about to: go shoppin [60] listening to: astrology livestream [61] waiting for: the day to end. its hot in cali :( [62] want: idefk  [63] get married: its not really something i crave but i wouldnt mind it?? [64] career: animator

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs, unless you know how to french well [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: a little older… [69] romantic or spontaneous: why not both?  [70] nice arms or nice stomach: hmmm i dont really care either way [71] sensitive or loud: once again, dont care [72] hook up or relationship: give me a nice long-term relationship plz [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemakers: hot, hesitant: cute, i love em both

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? well they aint a stranger anymore [75] drank hard liquor? ya [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? my glasses are in the void honestly  [77] turned someone down: :( yeah  [78] sex on first date? its hot on paper but no thanks [79] broken someone’s heart? nah. or at least no one ever told me [80] had your own heart broken? too many times to count but im hopeful things get better my man [81] been arrested? nah [82] cried when someone died? in movies yes. not in real life [83] fallen for a friend: ehhhh yeah but i also fallen out of it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? AYE [85] miracles? nah [86] love at first sight? noooo [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? perghaps [89] angels? nah

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: its a fucking fite b/w two people [91] eye colour: deep dark brown [92] favorite movie: alien

tagging @smolbeanlovemachine!!!!

[thebrightestringaroundthemoon]

anyway time to use this blog for what i created it for i guess and type out a big long thing about how im a worthless piece of shit and should pour myself a nice big glass of creamer, sugar, and clorox. i literally serve like? no purpose? in life? at all? im a completely directionless failure that operates with about the complexity of a fucking roomba, running into the same goddamn couch over and over again and slightly redirecting. if i get lucky, i run into a different couch, but nothing fucking changes. i do the exact same thing over and over again: surround myself with wonderful, fantastic people, fuck it up and make them hate me, and then spiral into a pit of my own pointless fucking despair until i realize im such a fucking failure of a person i cant even muster the energy it takes to fucking die so i just get up again in the morning and go again. rinse and fucking repeat. and its not like i have some horrible life or anything, im just profoundly unfit to exist on this planet. i have wonderful friends who actually, honest to god care about me and its evidently not good enough for me?? so i just respond to everything by assuming the worst, spiralling, and being too much of a dumb bitch to fucking talk to A N Y B O D Y about A N Y T H I N G cuz i guess i’d rather make a dumb edgy tumblr blog named after the lyrics to a fucking asia song than actually solve any of my problems. i guess its too much to solve a problem when the fundamental core of who you are as a person is the fucking problem. i mean, there is a solution, but ive already covered why nobody needs to be worried about me doing that! bnobody needs to be worried about me doing anytuhing! accomplishing anything! ever becoming anything! ever managing to do much more than drag myself out of bed in the morning and inspire a profoundly sad mixture of pity and annoyance in everyone iv’e ever come into fucking contact with! im sitting here debating fixing the fucking apostrophe in the last sentence and its driving me fucking mad while real people have real fucking problems and my cardboard cutout ass bad edgy teen novel stupid bitch excuse for a person ass is sitting here doing THIS with my fucking time. I have things i shuold be doing, could be doing, but this is legitimately all i can bring myself to fucking contribute to society at this point. the surest sign that the people around me are fucking saints is that theyve stuck around this fucking long but honestly i dont fucking undeerstand. i guess thats the whole point of shit like saints, you arent supposed to be able to understand, its superhuman compassion, even for those who dont fucking deserve it. or maybe its just because i fundamentally dont work. i dont have any sort of actual power when it comes to my life. these are the idle musings of a bewildered spectator, the one person who comes to the party, stays sober, and sits on the sidelines and watches the fucking idiocy unfold. except instead of drunkenly stumbling around and telling my friends how much i love them, im stone cold sober and sitting on the sidelines watching myself fail to take even the most basic fucking steps towards fixing literally any problem that im dealing with. broken. non functional. i dunno if i was born a failure, though. i think that might be giving myself a little too much credit. other people were dealt infinitely worse hands than i was and they turned out fucking wonderful. i know a couple of them. no, i think im the way i am because of me. i probably had all the chances i needed to become something resembling a human being, and instead im whatever i am now. how can i be excited about some sort of future for myself when i can barely manage a relatively privliged day to day existance? i have friends, im not starving, im in college, i have an apartment. im far from rich but im able to afford to go to college. that should be enough. why the fuck isnt that enmough. why cant i just be fucking satisfied why cant i muster some sort of positive fucking emotions why does joy last a few moments why can i do this so much easier than writing anything positive about my life why does this flow like it does like a fucking river why cant i stop my hands why why what the fuck why why am i like this why was i born why am i who i am it flows so easily it just comes out but i cant tell anyone and i cant rely on anyone because im not anyone in noone im the fucking nobody that people keep around them to make themselves feel better and the only reason i have the slightest bit of doubt about that is that i love my friends too much to ever accuse them of something like that but then again does it fucking count when its someone like me do i qualify as a fucking person does it count as hurting someone’s feelings or using them when that someone isn’t a someone is just an empty fucking shell that was only gifted with the capacity to retain HURT thats all i can fucking remember thats all that sticks with me HURT i cant fucking be rid of it and its not some sort of innate inherent biological failing its who i am as a person i did this to myself i do this to myself i dont know that i will ever stop doing this to myself. all i can hope for is that one day i gain the strrength the fucking self esteem and self respect to kill myself. maybe it isnt self respect i need for that but respect for my friends. its selfish to put them through me. the pain they’d feel from my death would last a short time if at all. it would be so much better than forcing them to know me for however long this failing fucking body will carry my empty shell of a spirit onwards thjrough a world that i dont deserve to fucking inhabit. my inner monologyue put on paper sounds like a fucking evanescence song and i hate myself for it so much jesus fucking christ. i fundamentally do not like myself. as a person. on any level. i do not like myself. i wouldnt be friends with me, and ironically i hate myself for that too. but who would? who the fuck would? why does anyone? do they? maybe thats my one fucking talent. convincing people im likable. worming my way into their fucking lives until they trust me only to realize that i am not a human being. im an empty shell, a fucking roomba of a person. i can tell when ive run into something and back up so i can run into it again. i cannot solve my own problems. i cannot even conceptualize them. im something below a human cursed with the fucking ability to think at the level of one. my ocd is really really desperately trying to get me to scroll up and fix all the spelling and grammar errors but i dont know if itll hurt more to ignore them or to have to read the dumb ashit i just wrote. earlier i said that i wanted this to flow less easily and here we are i guess. though earlier i meant it in the context of only being able to properly conceptualize negative feelings and never being abkle to hold onto anything piositive i feel, and that hasn’t been magically fixed or anything, im just having trouble feeling anything at all now. im a completely blank slate. i havent even cried once troday. i cant. i cant care about my own fucking inadequacy and failure as a very basic human being enough to even fucking cry. i cried about an anime a couple nuights ago. i can muster emotion for that. but as soon as i look inwards i dont see ahyuthing thEres NOTHING FUICKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM BROKEN I AM EMPTY I AM A {PLAGUE ON WHOEVER HAS THE PURE FUCKING MISFORTUNE TO BE A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO TAKE PITY ON ME i dont want to die, even. too many steps, too much feeling, too much. i just want to stop. to end. i want to no longer be. ill lock tghat away with all the other things id love to happen but know never will. that ones at the forefront though. it always will be. until i grow the fucking compassion to put others out of my misery. my roomate just texted me an innocuous questiona nd i texte d bacjk normally emojis and all im normal dont you see everyone im normal nothings wrong with me. oh sure sometimes i have a bad day but im fine everybody IM FINE you aren’t you have to put up with me ill fucking worm my way into your life and convince you im a real human being you can hold a congersation with only to snatch the fucking rug out from under you as soon as you actually attempt to engage with me on any level and i just end up eiother hurting you or revealing accidently that there is no such thing as luna thats not a fucking person its a name assigned to a loose collections of disorders, bad habits, and a gaping emotional black hoile from which nothing can fucking escape, jammed into an ugly broken body thats going to kill me early and doesnt even compensate by making me hot. wHEE. and of course, unable to be happy with anything, i will simultaneously complain about my own impending death due to horrific nutrition, subastance abuse (just the fun kinds so people dont realize anything is wrong WHEEEE) and some fucky illness that ive now gone and stopped medicating because im a stupid worthless bitch, AND I WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS WHILE SIMULATENOUSLY WANTING TO DIE what do i want? who the fuck knows! not me! that’s a redundant statement, of course “me” doing know bercause thats not a thing im not a person! id love to blame it on my complete and total internal faliure as a person that i always end up hurting people, but honestly its probably because i dont put enough fucking effort in. even right now,. literally hours after a good friend of mine ostaroted feeling like shit in a way that is almost for sure my fucking fault, im doing THIS instead of trying to right the situation (to b fair she made a point of not inviting me but inviting the rest of the group?) or did she am i just reading into this? who knows! who the fuck knows! everyone but “me”! ejveryone else knows! becayuse its probably REALALLY FUCKING SIMPLE BUT NOOOOO I CANT EVEN MANAGE THAT CAN I I CANNNOT EVEN FUCKING MANMAGE TO MANAGE THAT CAN I thats too much for lil ol me! i am aggressively pointless! i am the single least important collection of fucking atoms on this planet! every last fucking rock i stepped on walking to and from the class that i skipped half of today is more important and has contribtued more to the grand scheme of things than i ever have or ever will, and thats jkust the inanimate fucking objects on the ground. lets not even get started on all the actual people whose time my existance waste, who i am a fucking affront to  by sheer virtue of being in any way associated with them at any point in time ever. i guess this is it, this is what i get when my entire personlaity is a loosely cobbled together collection of self deprecating jokes and a fake ego, desperately attempting to patch over an interior that has holes in it less than it just is one giant fucking hole. i was, am, and will be nothing, not even enough to earn the use of “I” at the beginning of the sentence. dinner is in 15 minutes. my friends will be there. im paralyzed. i belive every word i wrote above so why

would i inflict myself upon them but i 

i cant not

i so deeply want to

to go sit in uncharacteristic silence and hope somebnody notices and asks me whats up so i can give them a dumb, abridged, mostly fake version and get the sad pity looks and then feel bad about exploiting them and then

rinse

repeat

because i am not a person

[ohnomyfishjustdied]

Me watching the last bit of the last Harry Potter movie. WARNING SPOILER ALERT

Ohmy. I’m excited to know what is going to happen because it’s so scary. I have the idea that snape is very very mean but i have seen guesses that he is the very best in the last movie and everybody will love him so im really scared. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas i love it i love it. ohmy fuckkk. What is this buullshit theyre suddenly figthing and now its sort of over but harry is totally collapsing and people are really scared. Ohno a huge scream i hope its not ginny another scream. Scary whispers in my ears. Voldemort is trying to convince everybody that they should give harry and ginny is the best and filtch is actually a genious. Yaaas miss i dont know your name anymore. And i also love luna. Hahahahahha ilove proffesor something woman mcgonnagan or something. shes so cute hahahahah awiieieiie all the other teachers are great too right now but it is especially the music that makes me really happy and excitted of course LOL im so happy Luna knows more go to screaming girl. They like to go through glasses and windows while filming ive seen it more often. Holy fuck thats one big army ohmyyyy are all those peope followers of voldemort. Ohmy. What is going to happen ohmy they broke their own promise. Helena is quite creepy isnt she. In the place where everythinh is hidden if you have to ask youll never know if you know youll never find it something like that. I like that ron knows the spel to open it. oh fuck theyre already there. They need one tooth from the basilisk. Come ooonnnn do it already ohmy fuck what is happening ohmy is it better now he is dead right aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ther kissing finalllyyyyyyy yaasssss ohmy yas i love it haha hand giggling. Ohmy voldemort is strong now. Ginny is so cute. The eternal wand is breaking? What is this he is using it to strongly or something. Id be scared to death ahhahaah see nevile running. Awieiiei its so sad tho. They have a good backup plann ohnooooo where is neville is he dead nooooo he is not yasss thankfully ohmy hahhahahahah you joker ’that went well’. Wowowowo also there are giants and stuff it seems like voldemort is winning now i do not wish to lose more of my followers or kids. Comeon harry find that stupid thing yaaaas theyre kissing again i love them. Malfoy you stupid fuck. Go harryyy dont die please i have already seen a post that he almost dies or something i cant lose him tho so careful pls. Is he going into that thing that vanishes things ohno he was searching for  that other thing. Whats that creature. I hear something. Harry pls save draco come on you. Yassss save him pls yeysysyysysyysys im so happty rn but watch it for the fire. HE GOT IT ITS IN THE FIRE THE DIADEM IS KILLED HE MUST BE REALLY WEAK RN i hope so but harry isnt really feeling better himself i see. Oh hes testing his skills by killing someone.. very brave V. … THis is such a good movie tho so many emotions are in this movie its so good. Lucius doesnt really look good actually tbh. Harry pls tell what you saw that you will come to him and he doenst have to find you pls do that and pls dont lag again wait imma start you up again bevause this is highly annoying. It now gives no nvrmind it has started. Hogwarts is one big mess tho ohmy its huge and terrible even spiders and stuff. The music makes it a hundred times more dramatic than it actually is tho its terrible who made this awesome shield Albuussusu or his brother yasss slay queen. There is some discussion about the wand what is snape going to do he is sort of nervous. The elder wand belongs to snape ohmy he is the true owner ohno he has to be killed wtf voldemort is such a mean person he is the worst i know. HP has to look at snape being killed wtf is he going to do something ohno there is blood all over the wall wtf is happening please save him HP save him you are such a good person at heart HP ohmy i wouldnt be able to do that at all. Snape is being pretty cute right now tbh dont dieeee i dont want people to die anymore wtf is happening and why does this keep happening. Harry stay strong and hermione too please everybody hears this now not anymore or ohmy thats not fucking true you are such a loser worst thing is its not a scream it is actually more powerful its is a whisper and how much more powerful is a whisper compared to a scream? Thats so true think about it if you will. Now everybody will be mad at harry i know it is true huh wait she was dead right. NOOOO WHY fredddd nooo fuck that shit and whyyyy luyping i said i didnt want to lose anyone anymore ohmy fuck dont you know how to listen you stupid fuck. Is this dumbledores office i think so i wish i was a witch you know how awesome that wouldve been? Aww who is the cute girl and the stupid girl and the cute little snape. Ohmy so first lily was severuss friend maybe they were lovers even thats so mean tho of James to take that advantage. Ohmyyyyy James is actually so mean tho ohmy and even dumbledore is mean is harry snapes kid or what i didnt quite get it. nope nope nope snape is the best person ever ohmyyyy i hope he lives ohmy fuck we all thought wrong all secrets are revealed. Ohmy fuckkk how is this possible snape is so cute noooo he must die in order to ohno snape loved lily so much so so sos o feeaking much thats so mean dumbledore ohmy fuck snape cares HE IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS HIM THE SWORD OHMY FUCK OR IT WAS LILY. HE MUST BE KILLED BY V. what is this movie ohmy fuck im screaming and crying and ohmy fuck i love you HP. Please live in the end but do kill V. Ron is so less handsome compared to hermione and harry NO OFFENSE AND FUCK ALL THESE MOVIES WHY WHY. Hes is ready to die ohmy fuck what is this shit. Oooh that is the stone that wil bring back to life isnt it so he is going to live int the end isnt it hes gonna live right just swallow the stone for me boy do it. I love sirius black more than who is remuss son? DONT DROP IT YOU FOOL AAAH WHY DID YOU DO IT NOW UGH WHY WHY. Watch it he is coming tho. LET HAGRID LIVE OKAY. THE FINAL SHOW. 40 min. Left. The sound is crazy what is he dead the spell was used on him now it was avada kadavra it is one of the three unforgivable spells. AW cute little ugly voldemort with a huge head. So he kills off his own horkroxe thats stupid right where are his glasses tho i like him more with his glasses on hes cuter like that. Im really relaxed i know that he will live, barely, but live. Were snape and lily meant to be i want to know come on now. I wnat to read the books and read what it all is about bevause i believe i missed half of it. HE LIVED THE FUCK OUT OF AN UNFORGIVABLE SPELL HE SAID DEAD WELL HE IS NOT YOU meanER hey that is the sorting hat thats nice. HELP WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU HARRY JUST WAIT FOR IT. hagrid looks quite happy tbh not really sad or anything. Why is he carried to the hogwarts castle tho. Harry is dead i dont think so whahhahahahha he will live. Even miss filch will not do such things and draco not either WHAHAHAHHA ITS YOUR OWN FAULT STAY DRACO NOOO DONT GO PLS. Nooooooooooo i had trust in you you fucker. NEVILLE TOO. No. No.nononononono. thats not going to what i dont remember what i was writing what are you going to say neville go boy yeah you go tell him pls. FRED WHY DID YOU DIE WHY TF. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH HIS FACE OHMY THIS IS GREAT I LOVE IT> THEYRE WEAK now yeah you run pls. Coward the malfoys arent they always have been stupid persons. Harry do you see them now is he right around the corner. GREEN is the evil colour wait they just swapped plaves how tho okay great anyways. You go hermione throw some rocks at him. Yeah neville wake up grab the sword and just go. Wait a moment why could they get into the vault with imperior because anyone could have done it like that and millions of things could’ve been stolen right lol. But wowowowoowowowoowowo you go weasley mother yass. Wowow courage to jump like that hold on to him tho harry or youll die honey. Wutttttttttttttrt have they formed into one for a sec wt is harry still the samen ow IF THE SNAKE is killed harry might live through this drave is YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS NEVILLEEE I LOVE YOU SLAYYY BOY NOW YOURE WEAK HOW DOES IT FEEL voldemort isnt going to win this time. The wand always belonged to harry never to dumbledore ohmy that is genious there he goees he is officially dead right now he didnt even live for so long he couldve lived longer as a normal human being to be honest. HEY LUNA I LIKE YOU. HEY HARRY AND GINNY LIKE YOU TOO. THEYRE SMILING AGAIN NOW ALREADY hey hagrid sweetie. Now he is the only person to live after the avada spell isnt he. Hey herron shipname hermione and ron hahahhahahhah. Its a big mess tho. Okay so via draco it was harrys yay dont throw it out pls. Or break it WOW YOU STUPID HAHAHHAH WHY THO. I guess it will only bring problems but yeah it is kinda hasty to do such a thing isnt it. so he just defeated the darkest wizard ever and only has a bleeding nose wtf hahahha how does he do it tho. WHAT A BEAUTFUL END oh lets see 19 yrs later. LONdon AWIE CUTE BOYS whose childeren will that be. HARRIES AND GINNIES OHMY SO CUTEEE HAHAHHAHA OHMY IM REALLY HAPPY LOL EVEN DRACO IS THERE. He has a ferret that is boring why not an owl. Ohmyyyyyyy herron have kids toooooo yaysyysysy im gonna cry theyre so cute. A#IEIWIIWIWIASDF@#PR UFJ SDK FJ SKDLFSDFKNDFLAKSDJFASJDFOIJAWLKSJDFIJSDLFKJSKDFJK. HES SO CUTE AS A DAD I WONDER WHAT HE DOES FOR A JOB> for a living more lolololol ohmy its so cute tho. 19 years later they havent aged a day lolololol.