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#i was literally gaslight about being treated poorly by everyone from family to friends to significant others
yay-depression · 1 year
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texting my therapist like “hey can we move up our appointment? i keep having revelations.”
#today’s revelation is related to yesterday’s revelation#but basically#i was literally gaslight about being treated poorly by everyone from family to friends to significant others#and bc i didn’t have that many good interactions between the gaslighting#i just accepted that i was in fact overreacting and that all relationships (friend/romance/other) i was destined to be forgotten about in#i was not supposed to be given attention i was just there to give attention and support and love to other people#and then once in a blue moon i’d have genuinely good interactions#and i’d end up like immediately falling in love (platonic or romantic tbh) with the person who showed me any basic amount of attention#literally any time someone would reach out to me first or give signs that they actually wanted to talk to me and i wasn’t just a burden#i’d be like ‘i love you i would die for you marry me please’#healthy? no#depressing? hell yes#i still do this btw#for the same fucking reason#you’d think in however many years since this pattern has been happening it’d of changed at some point#but nope!#and thinking back on it this pattern of behavior is actually really fucking old#like back to when i was a little kid old#i remember having a crush on a guy in like year 2 just bc he went out of his way to say hello to me#and another guy bc sometimes he was nice to me for no reason#and a girl named khia bc she gave me compliments sometimes#like?? that was it#all of those were literally before the age of 8#getting crushes on teachers assistants or tutors bc they gave me praise sometimes#getting a crush on my latin TA in junior year bc she asked about my interests#getting a crush on a guy at camp because he asked how i was doing a lot and cared about the health of my singing voice#getting a crush on a guy i barely knew bc he kept wanting to actually fucking talk to me#like he actually engaged in conversation with me#that happened an embarrassing amount of times actually#so what i’m learning is ‘all it takes for me to love you is for you to show me a modicum of interest’
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pokeblader3 · 4 years
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TDP Meta: rewriting some flaws and missed opportunities
(I won't be talking about anything related to a. Viren, b. Dark Magic, or c. the history of Elven supremacy and oppression and the show’s wack conception of morality sometimes) because those are a can of worms larger than the scope of this small rewrite, and also we don't know how the show will portray them fully in the future.
I would say that in Books 1-3, Claudia and Rayla are the best written characters, with Soren having a good arc muddied by a few poor writing decisions, and Callum and Ezran being rather bland and uninteresting(and also having a few poor writing moments).
-Claudia is the golden child of Viren, and was raised almost as a pawn to him, with her having an unhealthy view of family coming before all else, including morality, and when her family is threatened, she does horrible things in order to keep it together. 
-Rayla was groomed to be an assassin, something she just didn't have the heart to do, and spent her life internalizing shame from her parents being deserters and her own inability to be a good assassin to her adoptive father, and how she "failed" her mission and was ghosted by even Ethari. She puts on a facade of aggressiveness and being hot-tempered to distance herself from being emotionally open(which assassins can't be), and when that mask comes off with Callum we see just how little she thinks of herself. 
-Soren was the one Viren took out his anger on, yet Soren always wanted to prove himself to him and get his approval like Claudia did. He eventually sees that Viren is gaslighting and manipulating everyone, and doesn't let Claudia stop him from leaving Viren before their final battle. 
-Callum and Ezran are... interesting, but they don't have real apparent flaws or weaknesses to their character like the others do. They have some good moments and strong characterization, but aren’t as interesting as the others in my opinion.
1. Callum's arc
Callum has a fairly generic arc about bravery and learning magic, but he also has an important character trait in valuing his family and trying to be a good older brother for Ezran.
Callum is someone who was(or should have been) greatly effected by the conflicts between Katolis and Xadia. He never knew his birth father, lost his mother at a young age, and lived with a distant but loving relationship to his step-dad and his younger brother, his only family left, only to see his home attacked in an attack that killed his father and intended to kill Ezran and him as well.
He should have been allowed to make mistakes or hold flawed beliefs, such as expressing anger or grief to Xadians for being involved in the killing of his parents(especially since he's traveling with the daughter of his parent's killer), but this is only ever addressed in one near throwaway line when he sees Avizandum's statue in Xadia.
It would also have made sense for Callum to be overprotective of Ezran, and stop at nothing to make sure that he won't lose his only family left.
For example, in Book 1 when the egg falls into the lake, it's uncharacteristic that Callum let's Ezran, his tiny 10 year old brother, dive into a frozen lake when he could have done it instead(especially given he's likely still emotionally turbulent and on-edge from having just watched his family get attacked and living on the run). In a rewrite, Callum should be unable to dive into the lake for some reason, but also freak out when Ezran says he’ll dive into the frozen lake, because he doesn’t want to lose him. When Ezran does go into the lake and isn't heard from for a few seconds, Callum would begin to freak out thinking his brother might be in danger and he just let him do it.
Come Book 2, when Callum decides to trust Ezran to return home alone, this decision would hold a lot more weight, as it's a change Callum went through as he overcame a flaw he developed from his past. Also in Book 2, this would add a deeper context to Callum's talk with Ezran about how life sometimes hits you hard unexpectedly, since he is older than Ezran and would be speaking with the experience of someone who's dealt with the war for longer than Ezran, and want to shelter and guide him through growing up in such a tumultuous time.
It makes sense that Book 3 would be about Rayla in Xadia, but there should have been at least a few scenes about how Callum is doing now that Ezran is gone and he truly is alone, far away from family and home. As is, Callum doesn't really have an arc outside of Rayla in Book 3. Callum should have been allowed to hold grievances or react "wrongly" to his parents being killed by Xadians, especially when visiting Avizandum's lair, meeting Zubeia(the one who ordered the hit on his father), and the home of the Moonshadow elves that killed his father. 
2. Soren's arc
Soren's character and arc is complicated and built on a moral dilemma: he is told by his father(who we later learn is abusive) to kill Callum and Ezran, for his father's own personal gain. The problem is that the most important parts of this arc, his debating over and “attempting” to kill Ezran, are completely played as a joke. Because of this, we never get to see how he could have convinced himself that murdering children(who are also his friends) could be justified by himself, because that is not something any normal good-hearted person would even “haphazardly” try, and a considerable amount of his arc falls flat because they made a joke out of what should have been a key character moment.
To a lesser extent, Viren isn’t shown as abusive to Soren until Book 3, which makes his actions and why he’s so on board with killing children confusing and not make sense until we learn how he was gaslit and manipulated by Viren an entire season later, with little to no foreshadowing in the 2 seasons beforehand.
3. Ezran, Zubeia and the ending to Book 3
Ezran's arc is about the burden of ruling and navigating conflict with pacifism. Ezran believes that every death in a war, even if fighting for the wrong side, is still a father, son, lover, family member, etc., who just had their life taken from them. But then by the end, the entire army the protagonists fight against are dehumanized and turned into literal monsters, with it being portrayed as heroic when they kill thousands of them. The show also treats Kasef as a generic bad guy needing to be killed, instead of a tragic figure who chose poorly when his family was killed and his country was threatened(like, say, Claudia and Harrow are).
And now, for the worst part of Book 3: Zubeia. Zubeia is a huge sour note to end what's otherwise an amazing season on.
She ordered the hit against Harrow. She tried to kill the royal family of Katolis, after her husband killed Ezran and Callum's mom. She is over 1000 years old and was the regent of Xadia for the last 300 years along with her husband, and the two of them no doubt committed horrible acts against the humans. It is a complete asspull that she gave a "humans and elves? together :0? how beautiful :0:0:0" speech at the end of the season, and on a larger scale, how fast elf-human relationships instantly heal. Amaya's sister was killed by Zubeia's husband. Zubeia ordered her niece and nephew to be killed. Ezran and Callum were staring at the dragon who ordered their parents(and THEM) to be killed, and then was acting like humans and elves together was the most beautiful thing in the world. Amaya and Janai getting together also should have happened in Season 4, Katolis and the Sunfire Elves were at war literally a day prior, and Amaya was being kept as a prisoner by Janai and put through a torturous pain by her sister a week ago, and all that time she was worried about whether or not her niece and nephew were alive and the war that was going on they were embroiled in. Janaya and Rayllum are my favorite ships but they could have been handled better.
And now for the massive missed opportunity that would have also solved that issue above: Zubeia should have died(aka, what I thought was happening before the final scene when she suddenly recovered). It's thematically consistent with how the other 3 families of main characters experience a tragedy because of the Human-Xadian war, lose their parents at the hands of other families' parents, and have to work past it and choose forgiveness over vengeance. It would have given Zym and the Xadians a more tenuous relationship with the humans since Zym lost his mother to the war, and provide drama for Books 4 and 5, and it would also have shown how sometimes, relations between groups are not easy to heal, and history is not easy to right.
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suredahlia-arc · 6 years
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hello hello ! i’m daisy ( 19 // est // she/her ) and my mind has been tricked by florence into thinking it’s 7am when it’s actually,, 4:30pm. i’m in the mountains so we shouldn’t be having it as hard as other places, but everyone is still worried abt falling trees and such ! all my suitemates decided to go be storm-chasers ( every single one of them ? ), so i could be living my best life rn, but i’d rather be writing up an intro for a character i have tried to play over four times then the rp died after,, like,, a day. bless. more below !!
♪ { MARINA DIAMANDIS. FEMALE. MARINA (AND THE DIAMONDS). }Oh shit. Is that BUY THE STARS by DAHLIA ANGELIS on the radio right now?! I stan, omg. SHE’S that INDIE-POP solo artist who’s TWENTY-SEVEN years old. They’ve been in the game for EIGHT YEARS and have THREE ALBUMS out right now. I think they’re very VERSATILE and INTUITIVE, but for some reason they come off as OBSESSIVE and CYNICAL in the tabloids. You mind if I turn this up? daisy. 19. est. she/her.
first, i feel inclined to say why i put “and the diamonds” in parentheses bc without context i either look super uninformed or like a total douchebag?? basically she’s going by just “marina” now but i didn’t know how wide-spread that knowledge was yet and technically all of her work still has “and the diamonds” so i was like “hm. parentheses.” and there’s ur explanation ! onto the intro:
BACKSTORY
TRIGGERS: extreme misogyny, brief mention of gaslighting/emotional abuse, briefly implied physical abuse
so i have been waiting to play a bitch inspired by the stepford wives for forever. if i ever actually finished books that weren’t assigned, wbk i’d read that bitch. but we settle for the 1975 movie. there’s ur preface.
i often get way too caught up in the story of the parents and wind up making just intros like,,, a novella, so i’m gonna do my best to skim over them and go more in-depth when i write the bio later on!!
so dahlia’s mom is inspired by neely “i’m a BIG STAR!” o’hara from ‘the valley of the dolls’ and her dad is, ofc, inspired by walter “no fun quotes or super extra™ monologues” everhart from, you guessed it, ‘the stepford wives (1975)’
just as a very brief explanation as to why “i’m a BIG STAR” wound up in the neighborhood she would, typical fall from glory, first manager whisked her away, “fell in love”, moved to a neighborhood where 95% of the women only found joy in cooking and cleaning
maybe if you HAD a fucking business...
i’ve made this joke so many times i’ve memorized this entire scene.
only one person irl has ever genuinely laughed.
it was my mom.
through a series of gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and groupthink, dahlia’s father gradually got her mother to buy into all of it and have strong opinions on the best laundry detergent.
so this was a strange place to raise a child, amirite ? i mean, you got women discussing tide vs. bounty while baking cake, you got men being treated like kings – we over here in the stereotypical 1950s. 
they stanned super small neighborhoods in wales, but should they have ?
so she had a very skewed idea of what was acceptable and what wasn’t. the boys were treated extremely “boys will be boys!” like – like... more than they are when we talk abt the problem with that sentence – and the girls were all wives in training.
it was acceptable for boys and men alike to do whatever they wanted without asking the other. it was acceptable for boys and men alike to complain over anything they wanted. it was acceptable for boys and men to do all of these things that, if we heard about them today, we’d be like “jail??” or, at the very least “leave.”
it was all good and well though!! but one of the four (4) duties dahlia’s mother had was taking care of the child (the other three were cooking, cleaning, and pleasing)
you see, she was used to dahlia’s father blowing things out of proportion when it came to herself – it was normal and healthy!! but she was not used to him blowing things out of proportion on their child, aka dahlia (you see, this is what happens when i start talking about the parents too much)
the first time just warranted a brief “hey, maybe don’t.” the second time warranted a conversation that ended poorly. third warranted an empty threat of leaving that ended poorly. fourth warranted an actual threat that ended poorly. fifth and a bitch was like “ok where r we and how do we get out!!”
after finding her way out, she settled with dahlia in a rly crummy motel, but what else are u gonna do when u only have the few dollars u managed to steal from ur guy??
y’all see i’m already talking in perspective of the parents i hate myself
so dahlia’s mom phoned so many old friends and relatives. unfortunately, as a previous neely “the whole WORLD loves me!!” o’hara who just seemed to drop off the face of the earth, almost everyone was like “bitch tf no you ain’t stayin here”
the last person she phoned was her mom, aka dahlia’s grandmother, down in athens. reluctantly, a bitch was like “fine.”
so dahlia was ~13 by now. her mom found work as a maid bc she was rly good at cleaning and also had no clue how she would ever get a good acting career back (although, mind you, you know a bitch went out for some community theater plays). her grandmother was able to live off the inheritance her late husband, dahlia’s grandfather, left behind – however, she also had a work ethic that drove her to just... do whatever she deemed the right thing to do at the time. 
an old woman doing some odd jobs?? you know it!!
dahlia learned how to speak greek which is great bc you know what?? i duolingo’d that bitch and that owl is a jerk who wouldn’t let me get past “ο άντρας” even tho i spelled it!! right!! i had so many ppl compare what i spelled and what the answer was and i’m still bitter!! 
anyway.
so like,, wbk a bitch has some unresolved problems. when you grow up in the equivalent of stepford (copyright 1972, ira levin), you gonna have some things to work thru!!
but she was also basically trained by that community to keep everything inward??
this is a musician rp so you know what she did??
SHE TAUGHT HERSELF TO PLAY PIANO AND WROTE SONGS!!
was a myspace queen tbh. technically speaking, she has more work out there than the three listed albums (i mean, we got mermaid v. sailor, the crown jewels, etc., etc., bUT)
decided “bitch i’m gonna make smth of this” and,,, did. so when she was 19 ‘the family jewels’ was released and,, like,, she decided “wow time to go be an american!!! i love bald eagles!!!”
so i figure the rest is kind of history?? i think i’ll be going in chronological order with the albums (in that a few years after that ‘electra heart’ was released, then ‘froot’, then a hiatus which we do NOT stan, then coming back with a leak ksksksks. BUT i may switch up electra and froot i’m not quite sure yet??)
ya! 
PERSONALITY
VERSATILE: ok so she never really does things quite the same ? alexa, play ‘can’t pin me down��� by marina (and the diamonds) dahlia angelis. musically speaking, she really loves experimenting with different sounds. overall, she is still considered indie-pop, but we had some good new-wave pop in ‘the family jewels’, we had some good electropop in ‘electra heart’, we had some good general versatility in ‘froot’ (compare the song ‘froot’ to ‘immortal’ like we were boppin then we were havin an existential crisis). does not like keeping things the same in her music. does not like being compared to other artists bc?? everyone!! is different!! generally speaking, she’s just a very?? open person?? not as in emotionally open, open book – all that, as in willing to try pretty much anything?? as long as it’s not her actual routine, if a wrench is thrown in her plans, a bitch don’t care as long as the wrench ain’t smth dumb. here for a good time, not a long time.
INTUITIVE: ok so she got really into trying to read people and tbh psychoanalyze them ( alexa, play ‘savages’ by marina (and the diamonds) dahlia angelis ) after leaving that. town. with a name she doesn’t even recall?? wbk a bitch would speak up abt it if she could so that all of the women could be fckin saved but she j doesn’t remember anything abt it!! other than the environment in general!! what’s the name?? besides somewhere in wales, what’s the location?? she doesn’t know!! mainly bc i don’t!! and also for the sake of her not actually saying anything abt it willingly!! anyway!! she really does her best to read people and situations in order to analyze like?? the safety aspect, the other person’s stance, etc. doesn’t always work, but she tries. is pretty good at it, but no pro.
OBSESSIVE: ok so y’all see up there me talking abt routines?? there are two (2) ways in which girly is obsessive. first, a literal manner. routines that need to be done so the world doesn’t fall apart. i mean, we stan obscured brain chemistry, but we also stan horrible environments that just exacerbate it, even into adulthood, in the end ( alexa, play ‘obsessions’ by marina (and the diamonds) dahlia angelis. ) (also, i feel i should clear the possible iffy-ness this would have by saying that i’ve got ocd and will, therefore, be portraying it in a manner similar to mine so that it doesn’t come across as offensive to anyone else who may have a different form?? but most of the ‘routines’ won’t be very prominent in interactions). second, music!! when she gets started on a new project, -the mask vc- try ta’ stop [her]! -end vc- . will live in the studio until everything is complete and perfect. will spend her free time writing lyrics she knows she’ll never use bc?? why not?? gotta get that practice in!! can also apply to any other project types, but ofc the main ones would be music related so??
CYNICAL: ok. who’s gonna have a positive worldview after growing up where she did?? ( alexa, play ‘hermit the frog’ by marina (and the diamonds) dahlia angelis ) who’s gonna stan that?? that said, there is not a single genuinely good person in this world ( alexa, play ‘savages’ by marina (and the diamonds) dahlia angelis again ) if u ask her like?? not only did she already have that view after coming to her senses but?? now she knows about terrorists, about people from the usa who are SUPPOSED to be the good guys killing innocent ppl from ‘enemy territories’ for fun, ppl assaulting and killing minorities just bc they’re not like them, etc., etc., etc. convinced no one is inherently good. rly has a love/hate relationship with life ksksksks
HEADCANONS
a lot of these kind of tie into personality tbh?? 
literally knows everything about every cleaning product ever. ask her about the pros and cons of any and she will tell you. she’ll also tell you when it was manufactured, the ceo of the company that created it at the time, what went in it to make it, etc., etc., etc. knows so much.
kind of going off of that, actually really good at cooking and baking?? she rarely does it willingly, but will make a hell of a chocolate soufflé.
TRIGGER: IMPLIED SEXUAL ASSAULT -  i don’t want to go too far into this bc it’s very triggering content to many ppl (and even to ppl who it isn’t, it’s j?? not good.), but.... i mean.... the boys in her formative environment were literally encouraged to do whatever they wanted and they didn’t need permission?? END TRIGGER.
i have a whole-ass routine already figured out. there are a lot of facets obviously, so i’ll just mention a few?? but count them all as one headcanon to be fair. 
sets an alarm to get into bed at 1:11am bc it’s a good number but 11:11 is usually too early. sets an alarm for 11:11am to wake her up. will chill in bed if she’s awake before then but it has yet to go off. only exceptions are when she’s working on something she deems urgent.
that said, good numbers are 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 21, etc. no rhythm to it, but i wasn’t gonna go?? up until?? infinity??
if there are two doors that are both available to be opened and closed (aka not one of those “enter through this one, exit through this one”), will always enter through the right and exit through the left. 
we don’t stan sidewalk cracks!!
a lot of superstition plays into these. but?? loves black cats. they’re chill.
i have a stats page coming that has more so!!
during the eh era, be it the last one or the one before that, decided to method act while she was still writing the songs ksksksks. that’s going to go into some of her more specific connections.
a bitch will both fight and not fight. got ‘the family jewels’ attitude back and we stan!!
was obviously able to write the ‘housewife’ archetype songs from her own personal experience ksksksks. didn’t rly have to dive into the stereotype. j knew it already.
more?? later??
CONNECTION IDEAS
so i have a few specific ones that are attached to a different blog (u kno one of the ones that died) that i’ll be moving over here, but here are some of the ones that stuck out more than others – also, all are open to any gender!:
UPDATE: wc page is here!
during the eh era while she was ‘method acting’ (we hate.), she knew this muse was in a relationship but was still like?? “hey let’s go have a meaningless ons” bc we stan "homewrecker”! (can have a number of muses!!)
a relationship that really didn’t work out in the end. the other kept trying to make things better so they would stay together. inspired by “buy the stars” (one muse)
the first celebrity whose discography or filmography she got really into before moving to america. would’ve had to have been around for longer than eight years. slightly inspired by “hollywood” (one muse)
ok this one. makes me laugh. literally just someone who always gets her mistaken for someone else – it doesn’t even have to look like her. 100% inspired by “hollywood” ( oh my god! you look just like shakira! no, no – you’re catherine zeta! ) (open to two muses)
she’s not known for a good reputation, but she’s also not known for a bad one. this muse wants to turn her to the dark side and make her become everything she never wanted to be?? so very similar to ‘the bad influence’ connection, j w/ a slightly different connotation on dahlia’s end. inspired by “oh no!” (open to two muses)
these bitches were either friends or love interests once, but things fell apart (either mutually or on the other’s side like?? i don’t want to godmod but for the song’s sake). dahlia is,, bad abt forgiveness,, but there have been enough apologies. inspired by “forget” (open to one muse)
dahlia has a very keen interest in this person. whether it’s infatuation or literally just interest, god only knows! obviously goes deeper than that but i’m horrible at explanations. suffice it to say, inspired by “immortal”
ok!! so now j some general ones!!
best friend
ride or die
drinking buddy
fwb
ons
exes
enemies for whatever reason
frenemies
collab partner
muse for any of her songs?
etc., etc., etc. !
LIKE THIS OR HMU IF U WOULD LIKE TO PLOT !
u can also find me on discord @ john donne’s whore #5590
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eddie is horribly abusive and y’all need to be aware of him
i really did not want to have to resort to this. i fully intended to not call eddie out and just let this die off. since it hasn’t, multiple friends have convinced me to come forward with the abuse, stalking, harassment, manipulation, gaslighting, misgendering, etc i have been subjected to at the hands of eddie over the past week+. i haven’t used tumblr in... ages, so i’ve completely forgotten how to use coding in tumblr posts. sorry in advance for that. this is going to be both a call out and a “hey, this is what really went down” type of thing.
before i hop into covering the hot garbage that has been happening, here’s is where to find eddie. i fully encourage everyone to block him and warn others. he has been getting away with abusing people for years.
his twitter: https://twitter.com/mrgluskin
his horror blog: https://outlastwikia.tumblr.com/
if anyone knows the url for his main blog, please let me know.
update: been told his main blog is gluskin. i have not confirmed it for myself because i simply want nothing to do with eddie.
this is going to be long, sorry. tw for... pretty much everything. reblogs are encouraged and appreciated. let’s expose this abuser before he can abuse anyone else.
alright. for background’s sake, eddie followed me on twitter because we had a mutual friend, catherine. right off the bat, he bombed me with positive attention, liking all of my tweets, complimenting me, etc. a friend has since pointed out that abusers often do this before abusing their victims. i just figured he was a friendly guy and didn’t think anything of it. catherine and i had a falling out because she kept frequently using the r slur, despite not being autistic, and it was really making me, an autistic person, feel extremely uncomfortable (this is a whole different can of worms, though. catherine has also been outed as an abuser and a suicide baiter). disgruntled by the situation, i posted this to vent my frustration.
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this is my personal opinion on the issue, as an autistic person with autistic friends and family, all who agree with my stance. i’m not here to debate this. i want this to focus on eddie and not get derailed.
eddie absolutely flipped his shit at me. he claimed that since he has adhd (which he went on to say is EXACTLY LIKE AUTISM... not even gonna bother to explain how wrong that is. i have both. i should know) he is entitled to use that slur, my feelings be damned. he said that me saying he should not use the r slur erases the ableism people with adhd face. again, this is... not how it works. i wish i had grabbed screencaps because it seems that his tweets have been deleted. all i have is my side of the conversation, where you can see that i was perfectly calm and polite.
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i ended things by explaining that i could agree to disagree for the sake of our friendship & that as long as he didn’t use the slur around me i would be fine. he stopped replying to the thread after that.
a while later, i received this message from eddie.
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i’m going to point out real quick that the last time i posted to twitter about my makeup was months ago. eddie could only know this if he dug through MONTHS worth of tweets. this was where his stalking began. he went through hundreds upon hundreds of tweets looking for any tiny thing he could use to attack me over. he was actively looking for conflict & things to be mad about. he needed something to demonize me over, because “they asked me to not say r*tard” is obviously going to make him look bad if he cites that as his reason why he has beef with me. we discussed jeffree star briefly & then he blocked me. i wrongly assumed that was going to be the end of it.
i noticed that, during all of this eddie/catherine drama, someone had stolen my url. i thought it was petty/funny, and posted this to twitter. this is the only thing i said about the url. this is literally it. i did not and have not accused anyone of stealing it. i honestly don’t care because i very rarely am on tumblr nowadays.
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i’m not sure of exactly what happened, but i’m assuming either catherine told eddie i had said it was him, or eddie somehow convinced himself of it. eddie unblocked me instantly and sent this.
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he reblocked me after this. at that point, i consider it harassment.
as i’m combing through his twitter for all of this shit he did to me, i just now saw that he posted screenshots of our conversations in an attempt to turn people against me, while omitting that this whole thing began because he wanted to use SLURS. he posted a handful of tweets gossiping about me.. he has been attempting to paint me as a racist transphobe and he has been telling everyone i accused him of stealing my url, even though i told him i hadn’t accused anyone.
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a mutual friend of ours (who has since ditched him) then contacted me saying eddie was posting screenshots of my social media while shit talking me.
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the green thing is a screenshot of my listography. i don’t like or associate with q*eer because it’s a slur. i’ve been distancing myself from the lgbt community as of late due to the influx of rape threats, misgendering, harassment, racism, and overall nastiness i’ve been dealing with from lgbt people. i shouldn’t have to justify this. i have my reasons. this is, again, eddie grasping for anything he can use against me.
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because liking problematic things makes someone a bad person, amiright? it’s not like i’m an adult who can recognize when something is problematic & still have the capacity to enjoy aspects of it. to put into perspective... eddie is vocally kin with a serial killer from a game that demonizes mentally ill people. he has no room to talk.
this whole time, eddie has been telling people that he cut me off as a friend over me owning jeffree star makeup and was incessantly trashing my name publicly while spreading lies about me. we have mutual followers, so i posted this, trying to keep his name out of things in an attempt to not escalate the drama.
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eddie continues to vague and obsess. meanwhile, i’m trying to move on with my life.
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not wanting to be associated with a community that treats me poorly doesn’t mean i suddenly don’t face the same struggles as them or can’t have an opinion on the issues i face, just so you know.
at this point, i sent him a message politely asking him to stop talking about me all over his twitter and to move on with his life. he deleted the response but the preview is still on his twitter.
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here he is, again, lying about me. i have not contacted a single one of his friends once. i have harassed no one. i haven’t even spoken with catherine since this all began.
anyway.
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1) i’m 22 but that’s irrelevant
2) anyone else think him calling my friend ‘babe’ is kind of creepy? just saying
eddie began implying if not outright saying that i’m abusive. he posted this while talking about me. he was “confronting” me at the time so... who else could it possibly be about?
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i tweeted these in response, because i take abuse allegations extremely seriously. as an abuse survivor, i do not appreciate even having it be IMPLIED that i am abusive.
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after posting these, i hopped in the shower. eddie proceeds to have a meltdown. he had me blocked but i had not blocked him. at this point, i had blocked our mutuals. the only way he could have seen these tweets was by refreshing my twitter over and over again, waiting for me to say something about him/the situation. eddie unblocked me & quoted my tweets with this.
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i haven’t lied about anything, as my screencaps illustrate. he just wants to be absolved of any responsibility. i also did not “throw a fit” - i very politely requested that he stop gossiping about me publicly. he also messaged me around the time he quoted my tweets.
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again, have not lied about anything. he attempted to gaslight me by saying he was actually calling jeffree star abusive, which is absolutely not what he did. check the screencaps.
i was tired of being nice to the person who had so far harassed and stalked me, lied about me, and attempted to gaslight me.
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*drops this here*
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well i mean, at least he admits he’s been harassing me?
this tweet below was confirmed about me. in it, he calls me a trans man. i have explicitly stated many times that i am not a trans man. i am nonbinary. i have told my twitter following countless times that calling me a man is misgendering. it is in my bio.
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@ranunculae aka fawn reached out to me late at night on the 21st. we had a 5+ hour long conversation in which they explained to me that eddie had abused them and has spent the past 2 years harassing and stalking them like he was doing to me. eddie and catherine had teamed up and suicide baited fawn until fawn had to go inpatient. eddie and catherine have been attempting to socially isolate fawn for 2 years now by spreading lies and doctored screencaps in a sketchy “call out”. you can read fawn’s statements here.
https://ranunculae.tumblr.com/post/166659734265/i-never-abused-eddie/amp
https://ranunculae.tumblr.com/post/166779554950/ranunculae-ranunculae-keythecoward
the 2nd link includes a conversation in which a minor talks about eddie grooming him and attempting to be sexual with him.
i’m going to post some things that fawn sent to me over chat just because they’re semi-relevant.
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my irl best friend, cat, was close friends with catherine. fawn and i felt that cat needed to know that catherine was involved in suicide baiting and abusing fawn with eddie. so, we approached cat about it and fawn explained their entire side of things to cat.
eddie, through his relentless stalking of me, noticed we were all in contact.
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i want to clarify that fawn/katie has not been on his twitter once throughout all of this. fawn’s boyfriend periodically checks eddie’s twitter to see if he’s still stalking and obsessing over fawn. fawn’s boyfriend saw eddie harassing me, and he let fawn know that eddie had picked a new target to abuse. then fawn contacted me. it literally is a smear campaign. and fawn said the smear campaign was against ME, not them, even though eddie has been posting libel about fawn for years. 
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1) actual minors have come to me and fawn to tell us about eddie preying on them and grooming them
2) this was a response to cat taking mine and fawn’s sides
3) eddie called cat a ‘cuntbag’, which is misogynistic 
4) these ‘victims’ have not come forward because they don’t EXIST. meanwhile, i am nearly the 30th victim of eddie’s that has ACTUALLY COME FORWARD.
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eddie attempting to guilt trip and manipulate cat, a csa/incest survivor, for siding with fawn.
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again, more lying about me. as you can clearly see, i never threw a fit. i have been calm during this entire ordeal. also... this is, once again, him trying to divert attention away from what really started this; his NEED to use the r slur around someone who is uncomfortable with it.
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cyberfuneral = cat’s twitter handle
cat sent me screenshots. eddie does not have her blocked. this is, again, lies and manipulation. if it looks like we’re sneaking around a block, then we’re obviously the bad guys, right? 
when cat confronted catherine about eddie calling her misogynistic insults, eddie lied to catherine and claimed he never called cat a cunt. he didn’t even bother to delete the tweets to hide his lies. 
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scroll up to see him calling me a man, which i am not, thus it was misgendering. also, childish insults.
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this is referring to something i added at the bottom of my listography. i’d like to point out that he posted this within minutes of me updating my listography. further stalking right there.
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this is what my listography currently says. it is a temporary placeholder in lieu of an actual call out. it will be replaced or updated with the link to this post after it is published. you wanted the screencaps posted, eddie, so you’re getting your wish.
i can only imagine what filth eddie is saying on his locked personal twitter. i think i’d rather not know, though.
it has been more than an entire week of stalking, harassment, gaslighting, manipulation, lying, smear campaigns, misgendering, misogyny, etc etc from eddie. he is awful. he is abusive and a manipulator. do not befriend him. the second you upset him, he will turn on you and treat you like he has countless others. i am just one victim out of many. stay away. block him. spread this to warn people.
@eddieabuser2
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