#and thinking back on it this pattern of behavior is actually really fucking old

[yay-depression]

texting my therapist like “hey can we move up our appointment? i keep having revelations.”

[biceratops7]

HOly fucking SHIT-

Guys I just had a complete Shellstrop style “holy motherforking shirt balls” moment at work about Donnie’s unusual speaking patterns. You know, when he does this:

This tendency to narrate his actions in the third person or verbally say onomatopoeias in place of the sound is uh… well it’s autistic right? Look it features in literally every compilation but no one knows why other than “vibes, sometimes it just be like that 🤷”

But NO. No it NOT be like that. I finally know what this fucking nerd is doing, hear me out…

… he’s scripting.

Think about it. You know what else describes action, emotion, and sound in purely words? Books. He has these little speaking quirks, yah, but if you actually zoom out and see the whole picture, Donnie talks like he’s a narrator. This makes a SHIT ton of sense considering we already have textual evidence that he engages in scripting behavior (more specifically some possible echolalia. See: saying “New York! What a Town!” in any situation something kind of abnormal happens after he hears Splinter say it with the exact same infections and everything.)

And we also know from the mystic library that Donnie actively seeks out and enjoys reading. So it stands to reason an autistic 14 year old who likes to be left alone to work on complex machines a decent amount and takes pride in his intellect would model the way he communicates off of written media as opposed to tv or his brothers. He could fill his social tool box with lines from Jupiter Jones and Lou Jitsu movies, but he may think it would give him less of a chance to properly express his capabilities.

Books are also the only form of media that can literally just tell you flat out what a character’s expression or emotion is supposed to be without it being awkward, which would be really appealing for Donnie. What solidifies this for me is the fact that at least once he verbally says “sad face emoji”, which could not have come from a novel or textbook. But we often do flagrantly use emoticons as tone indicators, and Donnie is constantly on his phone.

I think he’s definitely aware that this is not a regular way of communicating, but he’s clearly also self aware of his issues in getting his emotional meaning across and receiving input back. So it stands to reason he would accommodate this in a way that, yes, makes him sound odd, but is at least effective.

Now for my final little “I’ve connected the dots. I’ve connected them” moment, I headcannon that Donnie learned to read before he fully got the hang of speech. Aside from… literally everything I just said, he uses sign language to tell the squirrels to blow up his treehouse in that one episode. But he does the sign for “make” a bit incorrectly (there should be a slight twist in his upper fist), which leads me to believe he was probably taught baby sign out of necessity rather than being fully proficient in asl. This is fairly common for autistic children with speech delays.

[sygneth]

Just a thought but let's stop for a moment and think about how Jean we see in the game is the worst version of himself, not his standard behavior, yes?

Like. He's been dealing with Harry's shit for a while now trying to keep him in line, excusing him to the captain and other precinct members, he's been cleaning his mess and all of this struggling with his own issues, just to hear that Harry "doesn't want to get better, he wants to get worse" and what Jean does is cramping his style and he should finally fuck off. When he comes back to Martinaise thinking that Harry's just playing his usual shit and tries to justify himself in the most stupid way, still being pissed for the fallout they had earlier (I mean, it's quite normal to be pissed after an argument, yeah) and then he finds out that no, Harry has really lost all his memory and doesn't remember shit. What makes him even more pissed, because, you know. You argue with somebody, you maybe expect an apology but you know you won't get it if you won't be the first to reach out, so you decide to do it anyway, and then you find out the other person doesn't remember what they did. And you're still pissed about that argument, and now also pissed, as you don't see any way of making up if they don't fucking remember and you don't really feel like explaining it to them, because you're still pissed. Well, it's not like there is no way, but for now, you're to mad to see it. You just wanted it to be over and you're stuck again.

Now let's add to this equation that one of the most important to him people don't recognize him and he cannot do anything about it. His boyfriend best friend doesn't remember him, at all. Something he didn't really expect when they argued and he left, probably thinking stuff like "this is so over" and "I don't want to know him anymore". (Careful what you wish, for, if you're unlucky enough, you may receive it). Sounds frustrating to me. Sounds like a very bad combination when you're already depressed and feel like shit yourself and deep inside you need someone, because you're a human and have human needs, but you get left with nothing.

Let's spice it up even more with the fact that Jean actually leaving Harry in Martinaise before the events from the game may suggest that some part of him noticed how unhealthy and mutually toxic their relationship was and that was an attempt of getting out of it, and not falling again into the same, old dependent patterns. And yet. If he didn't leave, there is a huge chance Harry wouldn't have drunk himself to oblivion. And well, it probably only adds to Jean being pissed and frustrated. Because if he didn't leave, he would be mad at himself for babysitting Harry once again and fixing his mess. And now he is mad at himself because he let Harry erase his memory. And being a Jamrock boy with no awareness and probably little connection to his own emotions he gets it out on Harry.

Oh yes, and half of the time he's probably really fucking anxious that someone will find out what has happened and they will all get dicked for it, possibly could even lose jobs, and while he wants to think it's all Harry's fault, it's actually their shared responsibility and he knows about it, so it only adds up.

So yeah, that was the worst week probably not only in Harry's life (but he's fortunate enough not to remember the worst part of it), but also in Jean's, and what we see is probably him acting in his worst possible way, as the sky has quite literally fallen onto his head. And I'm not saying it as "he's a real victim of the story". Many people are affected by Harry's behavior and many people are responsible for what happened, including Jean (and not only events from right before the game, but all the little mistakes and misunderstandings and unhealthy mechanisms they both with Harry got themselves into). Also, he's acting like an ass when he is angry and I'm not trying to deny it. I'm just noticing here that the narrative doesn't give us a representative sample of Jean Vicquemare, only the most shitty, pissed, frustrated, and anxious one.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Found a funny post. A ZK shipper complained that ZKs are being attacked while there are some much more terrible ships in the fandom – zucest, or Zhao/Zuko, or Ozai/Hakoda, or Zhao/Azula, or Ozai/Kya, or Jee/Zuko, or Ozai/Azula… there were probably more.

I guess you see the pattern. These are small ships (apart of zucest, probably, it seems the most popular in the list). They are nor, like, everywhere. I’ve only ever seen Ozai/Kya mentioned in a ZK fic, lol. And only ever seen Zhao/Azula fanart among the works of a ZK artist.

They do not pretend to be more than they are or to be something entirely different. For example, Hakoda/Ozai content would be either a crack scenario just for fun’s sake or an honest “these two characters are canonically incompatible, there’s absolutely no way they’ll have a sappy happy ending or a healthy relationship at all, so prepare for some serious drama” or “don’t look for a reason here, I just like them because they’re hot” (which is sexualization I guess but at least both characters are adults and not, you know, 14-years-olds). No “fixing the canon” crap here.

They are honest about their problematics too. Ozai/Azula? “This is incest ship, so if it’s not your kink, just don’t read”. Zhao/Zuko? “Here’s some really creepy shit. Yes, it’s extremely unhealthy, that’s the whole point. You were warned. Check the tags again.”. And so on. Not like the fics where Katara falls in love with Zuko after he raped her, you know…

They don’t shit on other characters. I can’t remember Mai being demonized in zucest fics as much (if she ever was) as she is in ZK fics. I’ve actually seen a devoted zucest shipper (hello-nichya-here) who defends Mai and Maiko!

They are just chill, create and enjoy content. Sometimes it’s amazing. One Jee/Zuko fic I’ve read was much more sensual and erotic than all the ZK smut I’ve ever read, combined (and the character dynamics was way more convincing, too).

Their shippers do not make up crazy conspiracies about how they were “robbed”. They do not write a kilometer long metas about how their ship is the actual canon, inserting Watson and Doyle’s names in every paragraph and lying about almost every event from the show. They do not comment “my ship is better!” under fics or arts featuring one character from their ship paired with someone else. They do not force their ship down everyone’s throat. As far as I know they don’t send death threats to people who don’t like their ship. Really, such terrible ships, why people attack the ZKs instead…

They try to use these as exemples of "worse" fandoms because they all have an element people could have issues with - a canonically abusive character like Ozai, a large age gap between an adult and a minor, incest, a controversial/disliked character, etc.

But like you said, these fandoms all mind their business, and anyone who does the same doens't have an issue with them, if they might have an issue with the ships. Meanwhile, Zutarians are hated not because the ship is controversial, but because the SHIPPERS are pushy. It's just going "Don't pay attention to my bad behavior, hate on these guys for having controversial ships!"

Seems it's time for this again: Hello, Nichya here! Unfortunatelly it was not at all uncommon to find Mai-bashing in zucest fics back in the day (honestly, most of the zucest fics back in the day were fucking terrible with both Zuko and Azula being wildly out of character) and it still hasn't disappeared completely. Thankfully that bullshit seems to be on it's way out, and I don't think the fandom ever reached the point of sending hate to Mai/Maiko fans like zutarians did, even if they hated the character for the same stupid reason - aka for "getting in the way."

[princess-of-the-corner]

Glad you liked the submission, as I have more on the Aware of Abuse AU!

I think it would be really interesting to reflect on how this situation would be kind of a drawn out grapple for Marinette. This is in no way salt and I think if it was written she'd both warrant having hear grievances hear, but also could definitely come off as a bit antagonistic, or at least wary.

(Exactly how hostile she defaulted to with Chloe tended to oscillate episode to episode so ya know how it be)

Marinette would have the easiest time getting close with Kagami. She has no history like with Chloe & no baggage, IE friendship with Chloe, like Adrien. Tomoe is not someone Marinette admires and its much easier to see abuse in the physicals side. While she'd struggle to see it more in the verbal or negligence side; or otherwise be able to rationalize the negative behaviors such as over protectiveness.

Meanwhile Adrien would be tied a lot closer to Chloe going into school as she'd be being less overtly antagonistic or vain. Plus, they'd have a much stronger "We need each other to keep from falling back into old patterns and to survive" mentality.

Plus Adrien would be a bit more overtly snarky and less respectful to authority or stuff like Gabriel's fashion shows. He still is very nice and super wants to be liked by everyone all the time, but it'd be a lot easier for her to see the negatives in his behavior.

Chloe meanwhile would probably rankle and outright frustrate her the most. Not just because she'd still be hard to get along with in general, or because she still is not against ignoring rules or disrespecting authority figures. But because...

No clue what your religious views may or may not be, but have you heard those talks of "Catholic guilt" and the idea of needing to suffer, do penance, ETC before one can be redeemed?

Marinette wouldn't strictly think or want that, but there would be a part of her that would sort of... Well resent that Chloe is seemingly just choosing to change and not even necessarily enough.

That is to say, Chloe might still rudely reject Sabrina's cookies out of hand but then instantly walk it back and have some.

But more in that she's suffered no defeat, she's not been taken from her previous luxurious circumstances, she hasn't seemingly lost anything and even more she'd not even be overtly contrite.

That is to say, Chloe wouldn't be doing stuff akin to the Lady Luck AU (Nothing against it, great fic!) where she'd frequently reflect on how much of a 'fuck up' she was. Or or say stuff like, "I know I was a bitch but I am trying to be better". Or feel guilt in the "I can't even be mad they assume the worst of me cos I probably would have done X."

She's just choosing to be different and on some level its deeply unsatisfying and even frustrating.

(Where is the arc, the climax, the catharsis!?)

Especially if some people roll with it or let her get away with it when she starts falling into old habits.

Marinette doesn't want Chloe to suffer or beg forgiveness or hate herself she doesn't. She just doesn't understand why now? Why at all? Why because of her friend? Why because of how she was treated and not how she treated others?

Why couldn't she care enough about hurting Marinette to change!?

That I think would be the lynch-pin and one that is, from Marinette's perspective, as well as others in and out of universe entirely sympathetic, she was hurt after all.

But in that same vain Chloe's an abused child lashing out due to trauma and taught such terrible lessons she sometimes couldn't process that she wasn't doing 'right'.

Marinette's been hurt, and that would need to be properly addressed. But it wouldn't need to happen in a self recriminating manner necessarily.

Not that I don't love those, self hating characters rife with issues are fun to explore. It is just that I think it'd be interesting to explore both, changing as a person, and a "Bad" victim getting help before they actually even start processing over much how others might warrant reoperations.

Does that make sense?

The story "restorative Justice" sort of dips into this from a different middle ground angle and most stuff by Generalluxun often have elements of it too.

Oh yeah no it's.

Marinette doesn't understand why Chloé is Like That™ in the first place, so she can't fathom her wanting to change.

From Mari's perspective, Chloé's life is pretty perfect. She's beautiful, she's rich. She can do whatever she wants whenever she wants and always gets her way through money or influence. She's always bragging about how she's so much better than everyone. Clearly her parents must adore her because they spoil her with gifts and never tell her 'no'. Any 'hardships' are just minor inconveniences that Chloé brought upon herself by being mean.

So why would Chloé choose to change? If it's not broke, don't fix it. Chloé's life is Perfect™, why would she do something to make it different?

It's not that she wants Chloé to suffer, or thinks that she /should/ suffer. She just doesn't understand why someone with a Perfect Life™ would change without going through some kind of suffering that forces introspection.

[kalinara]

So, I saw someone else's post pointing out the weird inconsistency with the way the Uncanny X-Team and the regular X-Team interact. How it starts out fairly pleasant but then, kind of out of the blue, the Uncanny team starts acting really hostile toward Scott and his team.

(Including a really nasty comment from Logan, and it's like, dude, weren't you fucking on the Moon, not that long ago?)

Meanwhile, on Scott's end of things, he's basically being polite, civil, and trying to adjust his plans to accommodate them.

I don't disagree with that post at all, but I didn't want to hijack it with my own thoughts, so this is my little bit of meta.

I admit, I've not caught up on a lot of the Krakoa stuff yet, but I definitely agree that this is inconsistent with the dynamics that I saw in those issues.

But it is definitely consistent with everything BEFORE Krakoa. And bizarrely, that makes me a bit optimistic. I remember, a long time ago, writing this rant about how consistently inconsistent the in universe treatment of Scott Summers was prior to his death. How everyone, under the pen of multiple authors, in multiple lines, seemed to fairly consistently believe the worst of him when his behavior would be completely opposite to their expectation.

I said then that it really did seem like it's building somewhere. And I'm cautiously thinking that it might still be. Rosenberg's X-Men, which I enjoyed very much despite its general pre-Krakoa bleakness, started out with Scott and Logan in a surprisingly okay place but things seemed to fall apart pretty dramatically and for not a lot of reason.

And honestly, I still can't quite get over Jono basically telling Scott that he hated him while he died. That was intense and singularly horrible.

But then everyone reunited and we pretty much got Krakoa right after that, and everything was different and good and bad and fucked up in all sorts of brand new ways. And I figured, okay, I was wrong, it really wasn't going anywhere. It was just weirdness that, if it ever had meant something, doesn't apply now.

But we're back to basics. We're back to the old patterns. We're back to Wolverine and whatever team represents the school and the "Xavier style" of mutant ideology against Scott's black ops "Magneto style" aggressive protection. And again, we have a Scott who doesn't seem to buy into that conflict while everyone around him does.

I had a theory briefly that the sheer irrational reaction of everyone around him was because Scott, as the Phoenix, right after killing Xavier, somehow mind-whammied the world to feel exactly what he did: a deep love and idealization for Charles Xavier that, while occasionally disappointed, never truly faltered, and a deep and complete loathing of one Scott Summers.

I still think that theory works, and might well explain why no one seems to remember that they were pretty fucking mad at Xavier at the end of the Krakoa stuff (with Logan actually trying to kill him.)

The other theory I have is simpler though, which is that Scott ends up being the focal point for all of his fellows grief, despair, and helpless, pointless anger because they think he can handle it.

If Charles Xavier is the spirit of the Dream, then Scott Summers is the embodiment of the X-Men. (I think there's even a point in one of the Captain Krakoa issues where we're told that "I am the X-Men" was basically his campaign speech at one of the Hellfire Galas). And as such, he's always going to be there: strong, implacable, steadfast and invulnerable to whatever they send his way.

And that leads to something really interesting, because as we've seen in X-Men #3. He's NOT. And that's not really surprising, it's not like Scott has ever been a paragon of good mental health. But the panic attack is new. And assuming that it's actually a panic attack and not some indicator of possession or powers going out of control or something, then it's a vulnerability that he might not be able to hide.

And that makes me think we might, FINALLY, see an actual resolution to this decades long thread.

And if not, well, if I didn't enjoy watching Scott Summers suffer, I wouldn't be reading X-Men comics.

(Also, Jean's actually alive now. She's in space at the moment, IIRC, but I really don't think she's going to tolerate this bullshit for too much longer, if and when she finally notices it happening.)

[theoddest1]

i fear viv is like j*k*r -

there is evidence, proof, so so much of it. and even then, just her behavior alone, without the really bad stuff, is questionable to say the least. i dont know how to put it, but she and her fans act like 12 year olds on wattpad (i used to be one of those kids to some extent ik what im talking about here lmfao). it is a FACT she's horrible and disgusting (i could list a thousand other things here but the critical community already knows all this) and still people defend and dickride her. it is no lie that her fanbase is like a cult. i wonder if these people are actually completely oblivious or are just as horrid because the fact she's a horrible person is as clear as day. the fetish shit, her weird ass transphobia, her blatant disgregard to actual victims that aren't her fans, her drawing... that , her racism, her- should i go on? and i fear there is no consequences for BOTH these people- they will go on until they die without ever facing their actions and stuff. its disturbing.

its like j*k*r all over again. i sense a pattern here. not sure what kind, but its so fucking baffling how both are horrid and insufferable AS CLEAR AS DAY as people and HARM OTHERS and still get so much support. both need to be studied because what the fuck have they going on that protects them meanwhile some people on social media get cancelled for one sentence they said 17 years ago (not that that's not "valid" it's just baffling how some people get cancelled over the smallest shit meanwhile....) and these people get to enjoy their life without consequences while there's MOUNTAINS of proven evidence.

i feel like i discovered a goddamn alien baby the way im so fucking flabbergasted at all this.

anyways, sorry for the rant.

i hope you have a nice day/evening/morning/night!

Hey, no worries! Rant away! It's a very strange enigma for sure, and the fandon does indeed act like a cult! My guess for how Viv keeps getting away with all this stuff is that she has a parasocial relationship with her fanbase. The idea of landing a job or getting close with a creator with such a large following overrides any sense of reason or care for her actions, so people keep gassing her up because it could likely lead her to like or comment on their stuff. There's also the pseudo kind act she puts on, so people think she's the sweetest person ever when she has showcased the opposite. There's also a loooot of fandom bullying. Lots of the big dogs in the fandom bully people into silence or make em think they're in the wrong.

There's a WHOLE lot of control going on here, and thanks to her ass kissers logic is thrown out the window. Finally, there were the overblown posts highlighting things that, while weird or gross, aren't "cancelable" enough or downright exaggerations of the truth or lies. These threads on Twitter, especially back in 2019, did more harm than good and led many into believing there was a mob that simply wanted to cancel her for being popular. The threads consisted of her old cringe art (some are very questionable don't get me wrong) rather than the ones where she encouraged fandom bullying and made fun of a 15 year old fan for simply being critical of her work and called them nasty for it. No one did any research on her behavior or how she was an absolute bully to people like Starvader. Callouts need to consist of hard evidence so stuff like this doesn't happen, where your callout does more harm than good.

These factors led to many straight up turning off their brains and blatantly ignoring hard evidence. It's very, very stupid.

Also, who is the other person you mentioned? The only one that comes to mind is the guy who plays League of Legends and is famous for winning many championships.

[thesunshineriptide]

Chicago Things I’ve Experienced that give TWST boy energy

Cw// uh shit you find in urban cities, swearing, chaotic behavior, light bullying of my hometown and also the boys

Riddle: I went to the library when I was like 12 and a lady yelled at me about my jacket that had a lyric on the back (I did not know her. She went on a rant about keeping my image clean and not doing free advertising for people I don’t know. Very strange I cried afterward)

Ace: saw a guy wearing the different patterns. One was neon tie dye, one was checkered pattern, and the other was like a gradient background with palm leaf pattern on it. He was also wearing socks with sandals and really stupid sunglasses

Deuce: going to the museum of science and industry into the cloning exhibit and having to listen to 20 small children ask where the chicks (baby chickens) come from (cloning)

Cater: walking down the street and running into some asshole taking pictures of the building in the middle of the fucking sidewalk.

Trey: the roughly 10 million donut shops in Chicagoland area that all claim to be the best. The best is dorite donuts or firecakes but every mom and pop place thinks they have the corner market on overly sweet fried dough

Leona: the bus driver that looks like he’s slept 3 hours in the past week and has definitely run over someone glaring at me while I try and pay for my ride

Ruggie: ex coworker of mine being given popcorn by a guest (“They said they didn’t want it”) and proceeding to eat it. I suspect this popcorn was dropped on the ground and that’s why they didn’t want it but it remains a mystery to this day

Jack: saw two people get off of the bike path to bike on the highway. This is very illegal and very dangerous, please do not do that.

Azul: mafia tours. Chicago literally has so much mafia history that we take tourists on TOURS of the city to go see old crime spots.

Jade: me telling everyone not to swim in the lake and being ignored until I tell them about lampreys in the lake, then people want to listen.

Floyd: Floyd is literally so Chicago vibes I don’t know if I can narrow it down. I’m gonna say riot fest being banned from a park because of property damage but in reality it’s just the whole city he would love it here

Kalim: Lincoln park zoo. Just like as a whole

Jamil: calling it “the bean” because fuck Anish Kapoor :)

Vil: the Magnificent Mile that is decently impressive and actually 1.3 miles. He would love the overpriced food and clothes

Rook: that time the archerfish at the Shedd aquarium spat on me not once, not twice, but four times. Stop hunting me you fucking fish that’s so fucking rude I am not a BUG.

Epel: the cow tunnels going through the city and also the fact that we just built roads on top of each other since we’re slowly sinking into the swamp we’re built on

Idia: Chicago formerly being the candy capital of the world long, long ago. We actually still have a lot of candy places here and Idia would probably adore getting a 15 pound bag of sour patch kids :)

Ortho: the fact that Greek town smells like chocolate half the time. This is because of the chocolate factory, Blommers, that is still in town and in production! Ortho would enjoy simply knowing it smells nice

Malleus: malleus is making friends with every gargoyle in town, except for Defiance and Prowl in front of the art institute, which are not gargoyles and he will be informing everyone who has that misconception about it.

Lilia: the guy that tried to cross Lake Michigan in a giant red hamster ball. Twice. He was retrieved unharmed both times

Sebek: the chance the snapper incident many moons ago

Silver: the people who sleep on public transport. I’m terrified of them how do you know when to wake up?? How do you know when to get off the bus??

[murderboisblog]

Nooooo you're so right, I don't think he's quite managed to shed the devotion. It might not be loving devotion (unless it sort of is? It's complicated), but it's definitely there. He says he's realized Strade "didn't do much at all" to make him who he is in TPOF, but like. Babygirl you're a snuff streamer with a scary half-face mask. Please. I know that's the most obvious interpretation, but he's clearly built up a skill set over the years that's deeply ingrained into his identity. He says he does this "because he's really fucking good at it," and I believe him, but I don't think he would've felt the need to get really fucking good at it if not for Strade.

So in a way, because he loves what he does (and I do think he loves his job, genuinely, even if his relationship with his audience is kind of complex and strained at times), he does still love Strade. He's devoted to his audience, so he's still devoted to Strade, or to perfecting and maintaining the parts of himself that Strade created.

In my head, he decided before the third stream that he'd keep us. But he's so used to saying "your wish is my command" and pleasing his audience; it's so ingrained and instinctive and like an extra limb. He found himself doing it anyway, and he had to forcibly interrupt himself when he realized he'd fallen right back into his old patterns, just like how trying to find a "special friend" after Strade's death was falling back into an old pattern.

I don't think he's unaware of the remnants of Strade in his behavior and life, I think he just locks them away on purpose because that's such a vulnerable area for him. Weirdly enough... given how he responds in TPOF, I don't think he's the "snap and punish you for bringing up Strade" type, because that would also make him feel too vulnerable and exposed. If he did snap, he'd be subdued and gentle and extra composed the next day and refuse to bring it up at all. You wouldn't get a heartfelt apology, but you would get extra attention and leniency and care. Then it'd be back to business as usual.

I think he's doing some extreme mental gymnastics on the order of "Yes, technically I am doing what Strade did, I'm not stupid. I know that. But I know I'm not doing it for the same reason he did it. I'm doing it because I'm an artist and an entertainer, not for these weird ideological reasons ("the only way you can truly get to know someone is by hurting them.") He resents how his younger self viewed Strade as an enlightened figure of sorts, and he sees that whole line of thought as childish now. But it's still there, somewhere deep in his brain, and he just masks it with showmanship and artistic flair whenever he feels it during a stream.

RIGHT BACK ATCHA WITH THE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS LMAO get infodumped at >:3c

I absolutely agree, Fox ENJOYS being Fox, he loves his job and he loves his audience, but just because you love something doesn’t mean you have to like every aspect of it. Same with his feelings towards Strade I think.

In the tpof Fox kinda brings up Strade himself, not by name but ya know. I think that it’s probably not too much of a sore spot for him anymore but it’s still tender…

As for snapping I actually don’t see that happening at all, mind you this is based entirely on btd 2 and he’s absolutely done some growing since then so I could be way off. But after the scene with Law in btd 2 there’s the chance that he comes out wearing his old tank top and shorts that he wore when he lived with Strade and since we know (like you just said) he has a tendency to fall into old habits I think Fox thinking about or doing any sort of self reflecting about how Strade affected him would get a similar reaction to that. Fox obviously is a big scary murder man but I think that Strade or the memory of Strade would bring out poor scared lil fox boy again. Ren Hana, not Fox ya know?

I can see a pet being very confused about Big Scary Captor suddenly becoming a meek, terrified, vulnerable lil kit at times but Fox despite what he might say is still very much Ren and the things Ren went through are not the kinda thing you can just bury away forever. Maybe emulating someone he viewed as a mentor of sorts is his way of dealing with it but that’s not always sustainable. Maybe a pet smiles the same way Strade did or moves their hand in a similar motion or is just a little bit TOO aggressive one day and for a split second he’s back to being Ren.

[psychicpinenut]

okay this season was stressful but in a different way.

the quick pacing i'm used to was not there, there were scenes that were dragged out waaaay too much like genuinely did we need these chefs in ep 10 talking about their careers for like 10 fucking minutes?? and while it was a big emotional thing, did we really have to have an entire episode of JUST sugar and donna? like 40 minutes of nat going into labor and talking with her mom? idk...

i think a lot of sydcarmy peeps can't look past their frustration about the ship but since i lowered my expectations before, i could look at it more objectively. i don't know why people are saying claire had so much screentime this season, i was actually surprised at the lack of it, like they brought her up once or twice, we would get the occasional flashback but other than that i actually expected her to be in it more and for their conflict to at least begin to get resolved. atp i think carmy waited too long to apologize and it would be weird if she forgave him after all this.

anyway carmy went full psycho. he just keeps saying stuff and reassuring sydney but he never actually follows through with anything. he promises and promises and just falls back into his old patterns. like my dude you can't just keep talking and not actually do any of what you're saying. actions matter, not words. this is why sydney wants to leave you. which leads me into sydney just taking all his crap. why is she not saying anything? the whole season i was waiting for that big final blow-up, The Fight they were gonna have about his behavior which never came. she's just suffering in silence and wants to leave instead of trying to save their baby (the bear). and i understand!!! i totally understand why she wants to leave but at the same time i want her to fight for it. it's her dream also, they made it together. if she has to kick carmy in the balls to do it then so be it. like why is she letting him fuck up their restaurant?

carmy doesn't ask and she's not saying anything, major communication issues.

also way too many fucking faks. didn't ask, didn't care.

but i also have the mind to realize that carmy was supposed to be unlikeable this season i think. since this seems to be part 1 of someone, this was probably just a set up to something else and that's why the pacing felt off. so i'm keeping that in mind. i enjoyed this season actually like it was tremendous but it felt very slow.

[melestiasworld]

enneagram > MBTI ?? (am I really saying that !?)

I was researching my enneagram type lately and I have a lot to unwrap

Amidst my attempt to organize the endless tabs on my phone, I stumbled upon an old Enneagram test result. It was surprisingly spot-on, articulating behaviors I've long recognized but struggled to articulate.

I'm a 9w1, and I've been watching Dr. Tom LaHue's videos about my type.

He was saying that 9s can, if not careful, mistake the taste, goal of other's for their own- something I know I tended to do a lot when I was younger Back then, I craved uniqueness so intensely I wanted to dress up differently, listen to different music -being like everyone else was disgusting to me. Looking back, I might have resembled a type 4 during that phase

but I'm glad I had this phase, it helped me cultivate my confidence and identity

I've also noticed a pattern where I struggle to voice my opinions naturally. It's something I've had to learn the hard way.

it takes effort for me to really put myself in thinking mode to connect with my true self and figure out what I truly desire Yet, when a topic strikes a chord, I don't hesitate to speak up. Tom was also saying how my default response to a question or a request is always “yes” when it should actually be “no”, so that I accept only what I truly desire

“you can find your real “yes” only by saying “no””

I mean, I already knew that of me, and what really helps me is seeing other people being assertive in their opinions

I love people-watching and seeing people stand their ground inspires me

I've recognized that I sometimes fear expressing my voice because I don't want to burden others. I'm capable of understanding multiple perspectives, making every option seem acceptable—but what do I truly want?

Combining assertiveness with kindness has been a struggle. I've been aware of this aspect of myself for some time, and I'm committed to improving.

We all have patterns that emerge when we're not in a healthy place. and the enneagram helps you see more clearly on this. In the vid, mr tom was going through the levels of health of 9s going from the worst to the best, I've stopped to the first because it resonated too much with me : My brain will do anything to keep me away from feeling any type of negative emotion, this actually has been really detrimental at one point in my life

I will get lost in my priorities and the things I need to get done so I’m doing fucking useless tasks like cleaning my shoes, cutting my bangs, or sorting the tabs on my phone when I have more pressing matters

I became aware of this problem a while ago when speaking to a therapist, did I buy a book to help me regulate my emotions? yes

did I read it? no

when will i read it ? who knows

dr. really putted the finger where it hurts, i think i really got to work on that

that was also said in some of the videos, 9w1’s are scared to be a burden or to be a burden because our biggest inner fear is being rejected by the ones we love

deep down I know that it is very true -nothing can keep people from leaving me

but what’s interesting would be to discover why do I harbor this fear of abandonment? Why do I crave safety so desperately? nobody really abandoned me, nor left me, I never had problems making friends, so where does it come from? I’m going to look into that during the several hours of reflections I have during my nightly reflections

I thought I had myself all figured out, that I’ve spent too much time pondering my identity, my values, and desires Yet life just keeps impressing me and putting me in situations where I have to work on myself again and evolve

its like rediscovering myself, or building a new version of me

I do not want to die knowing I haven’t achieved the final version of me; I want to reach my full potential

but I'm so thrown between the melissa who strives for greatness and has all of those crazy goals and the melissa who wants to rot in bed and do absolutely nothing - a topic for another rant

[josiebelladonna]

there’s this really bizarre pattern with people who are hateful (e.g., nazis, hamas, anyone anti-israel, the maga crowd, etc.) where they’re incredibly sexually repressed. like they put in this tough, violent, dangerous image and yet, when you lift the lid off their nonsense, it’s like opening the floodgates: you see some of the most lascivious behavior you’ve ever seen in your life.

for example, the idf found terabytes of porn on every household computer in the gaza strip as well as copies of mein kampf. (THAT IS WHO YOU ARE SUPPORTING YOU MEAT PUPPETS)

for those of you in the f1 fandom, notably those too young to remember: max mosley, former president of the f.i.a., the governing body of formula one, got caught in a sex party littered with nazi paraphernalia back in 2008-ish (i remember that, too, i still get a chill up my spine thinking about it). i remember it mainly because richard hammond made a joke about mosley but it was shocking, though.

as for all of you on the left screaming your lungs out about palestine… why am i under the impression all of you are hiding something.

trump’s lechery. hell, the lechery of the entire right wing.

for those of you too young to remember tila tequila… just look her up and take my word for it.

i just think of billie’s misandry, casual racism and sexism, and most recently antisemitism (as she wore that red hand pin to the oscars and as far as i know, has said absolutely bupkis about the war over there), and now she’s dropping an album called hit me hard and soft, especially after she made such a stink about “don’t sexualize me” when she was starting out and now she’s making sexualization her entire image.

listen, it’s one thing when you’re like me and you explore your sexuality at a slow, on-and-off pace because shame weighs you down like the colossus of rhodes. but it genuinely comes off as someone who grew up in an ultra-conservative household and went off to college and is now fucking everything and everyone in sight. there’s nothing sexy about it once you put some thought into it. it’s actually kind of disturbing because a.) it makes me think about all the disney starlets who went through that exact process; b.) with the aforementioned, it gives those of us who are kinky a bad name because now, there’s this assumption that we’re going through the same thing as well; and c.) i honestly didn’t think of this until now: there’s something “off” about that title. nevermind the fact that it feels very try-hard, but it just feels wrong, like i read it wrong or something… because it feels like a glorification of sorts. “i want you to hit me, and i want you to hit me hard.” i bet anyone old enough to remember 50 shades of grey has a puckered asshole right now.

it almost feels like she’s coasting, too, because she tried doing this whole “exploring myself” shtick on her last record.

honestly, i’m just tired of this whole “white girl has false sense of empowerment” thing because it’s not just old hat at this point, but it’s not fair to other women of different backgrounds, other women who have different stories from you, other women who have undergone you-know-what and a sentiment like that can actually trigger some things. and i think of the above, in how hate groups/people who hate others are sexually repressed to of horrific extent…

we get it, billie. you’re not a kid anymore. now take off that damn red hand pin… oh, wait, you did. pussy. i wonder what else you’re hiding or are you too cowardly?

[tetsunabouquet]

To this day I wonder something. We live in a time period were we are looking a lot at the transgressions since the discovery of America. Whilst Europe gets called out for it, I find it odd how pretty much no one ever mentions the Church. When it comes to slavery, the Church profitted off of it too! There's literally religious propoganda that justifies slavery, like an Irish monk claiming Africa is where Kain settled and that's why black people have their skin color as it is a reflection of Kain's sinful legacy. This even is amongst the reasons why Irish people as well as the main reason why South Europeans got misteated. South European countries were invaded by north Africans more then once. This is why Southern European people weren't considered 'white' back in the day as they have some mixed heritage. When the Spanish Armada hooked up with some of the Irish, this led to an ethnic group called the Black Irish, despite them being white. Robert Sheehan is an example of someone ethnically Black Irish. Now the Church literally was as rich as monarchies and the profits of slavery obviously ended up back in Europe. Do any of you seriously think not a single coin of that money ended up in the Church's pocket? If they weren't outright encouraging people to go to Africa and enslave people then why did the propoganda exist in the first place? THINK! Then there's the history of medical malpractise that goes beyond people being stupid enough to think praying will cure cancer. Did you know that historians found suggestions, that the people burnt at the stake were mentally ill and that it was neurodivergent behavior that got many suspected of being witches? For fuck's sake, in the past the Church considered one of the signs of being a witch is to have a deformity and this falls directly into the pattern of deformed people having been religiously sacrificed by beliefs all around the world. This continues on in the pattern of exorcisms. There are still hardcore believers who'd exorcise the mentally ill, there are still people dying of exorcisms. Last year, a 3 year old girl was killed in one. Do you seriously think this isn't a pattern that's been going on for centuries? THINK! I really wish we'd all actually start holding the Church accountable for their part in slavery and long history of ableism. Everyone always talks about the gays without realizing that the Church has blood on their hands regarding almost every minority group out there. But they do. Hold the Institution of the Church accountable for its crimes.

[roobylavender]

i mean most abusers do love the people they abuse. abuse isn’t something done with intention or malice half the time, it’s done by people thinking they’re doing the right thing. bruce’s love and need for control are constantly in conflict with each other and that’s why the robins are stuck waging a war against him. i feel like a big part of a dysfunctional parent-child dynamic is feeling trapped by your parent’s love. Even if you hate it, it’s still canon that Bruce has been historically bad with dealing with his kids. Half of them don’t even feel comfortable calling him dad cuz the relationship seems so undefined or shaky. In Dick’s case i feel like he has no grounds to oppose robin and his vigilantism because Bruce (deep down) loved having someone like dick around to fight crime with. They both refer that time as “the good old days” so it’s not like Bruce was truly opposed. It’s only when the actual reality of that negligent and naive behaviour materialises that he realises he fucked up (robin year one eg). Then he treats Dick in such a cold manner that Dick believes if he’s not robin, he’s not wanted. This has been a pattern since the golden days so no it’s not ooc for Bruce. Yes the natural conclusion to all the modern day tension should be for both parties to meet and resolve their issues but Bruce is still the abuser at the end of the day, and even though Dick’s self sacrificing nature might easily forgive him, on a textual level it should be clear that a true resolution between the two would need Dick to dig deeper, and for Bruce to be ready for rejection from his son.

i don’t disagree with that assessment of abuse like it’s absolutely true, but my problem is i don’t think the cold or controlling behavior is really a consistent enough pattern until we move into post-crisis canon. for several decades dick and bruce have a great rapport with each other bc that’s what everyone knows they’re supposed to have. like i don’t think most writers from the golden or silver age if asked that they intended to write bruce as an abuser would agree and say yes, and that distinction to me is impt, bc sure, we can take what we’re reading on a surface level and project our own experience or modern understanding of relationships onto it, but i don’t think that should happen to the extent authorial intent is superseded bc then you start to enter territory where you’re divorcing narrative from genre conventions. if we go by the assumption that bruce is an enabler and abuser for allowing dick to be a hero for so long without purported attention paid to his safety then that establishes practically every hero within the universe possessive of a sidekick as an abuser. and i do get that some people are interested in following that thread like esp in post-crisis we see that exploration a lot but ig for me personally it’s kinda like the thing that breaks the camel’s back and withholds the entire genre from actually allowing itself to explore more pertinent issues. not to say abuse isn’t a pertinent issue, it absolutely is and i do think there’s ways it can still be explored, but the primary reason the genre was established in the first place was in response to fascism. obv the engagement with that wasn’t necessarily complex early on but it’s incredibly impt to the development of the genre and as we can see in a modern context how that response to fascism or lack thereof is conveyed can be incredibly influential in terms of facilitating support or not for fascist government. so my issue is like, yes, it’s impt for bruce’s faults in these relationships to be addressed to a constructive and worthwhile extent, but i also think writers have gone so drastically far in curating those faults in the post crisis era that it’s effectively restricted the scope of the stories they’re allowed to tell, bc they’re more focused on individual instances and relationships within this world than they are on any form of commentary that reflects the operations of the world at large in relation to regulation of crime

[golbrocklovely]

I was checking an oldish tag on here and saw some of your old asks about Stas where people told you everything she was doing, full transparency and you defended her like no other. Everything they spoke about came to light and we are now or have been seeing since Europe everything and more that people mentioned . So im curious (maybe you’ve said before but i didnt see it) what made you change your stance and open your eyes to her odd behavior especially towards Colby? The asks were pretty blunt and straight forward and you still found a way to curve every answer.

I checked the tag btw because i noticed today that not only did she promote Katrina on twitter, but made a tiktok to her song, told people shes her biggest fan, and has been liking a bunch of C4 edits and pics. I remembered seeing asks talking about her never supporting Kat only Colby so after seeing that i came back here to try and find what else those asks said and saw everything everyone has been saying is pretty legit.

i did say a while back why my feelings changed for stas, but i'll just state them again i guess lol

also holy shit this is long sorry about that lmao

so, originally, when ppl would come to me saying why they didn't like stas, to me it didn't feel like it was a legitimate reason. and i felt that way bc they would come on here, talk about her, but give no proof to their claims. just say that "oh i heard this" or "i think she did this" or "did you see she did this" and to me, none of it was enough proof to throw her off the island, so to speak. i mean, some anons talked about her liking edits as proof enough that she was shady or up to no good. ppl would use her likes on twitter as main example of "see! look how bad she is" and the tweet in question was either not there (bc she probs unliked it) when i would go looking for it or if it was about colby and her… it was harmless and not something like "colby and her should be together. they have something going on".

also, no offense to anyone that sent me asks in during that time period, but i don't exactly have the most faith in the fandom towards ppl outwardly hating on a girl bc she's close to colby. it's happen countless times. the amount of times i've been told that the reason a girl that colby's friends with or hooking up with or JUST STANDING NEAR is bad bc "she just gives me bad vibes"… let's just say, if i had a nickle, i'd be a rich woman. so when it started happening with her, i didn't think much of it. thought of it as jealousy or just over-protective fans.

but things started to change a bit, i would say, by summer. i think after one too many trips to vegas, my liking for her was dwindling. idk if she did something or what (bc at this point i don't remember), but the vibe changed around her and what she was doing. at least to me. not to mention, no matter what she did, it was drama. and that itself was exhausting.

then colby made that tiktok with her. and when he started deleting comments shipping the two of them together, that's when i knew oh, he really doesn't want to be shipped with her and i thought this was him actually laying down the law and finally putting his foot down to all the shipping that goes on between him and stas.

then europe happened. and i fucking KNEW this trip wasn't gonna end well. i felt it in my bones. or maybe i'm just really good at picking up patterns lol

what first started to gross me out, was finding out about her mom posting things. and look, i'm all for a supportive mother. and tbh idk if her mom ever responded to fans. but what concerned me was how much info she was sharing publicly. and then how many fans were searching for her mom, finding her page, and basically narrowing down where they were in brussels and all that. snc have been stalked before, have had their house broken into before, what they DO NOT NEED is someone with them basically giving their every location just bc those fans are subscribers.... or random ppl on her mom's facebook.

that's when i also noticed that her roommate was at least cognizant of fandom drama that had happened not too long ago bc she liked a tweet about it while it was happening. that turned me off quite a bit as well. and i know a lot of ppl bring up stas posting the video from colby's bedroom and honestly…. ngl that flew under my radar. it just didn't feel like anything to me at the time.

and then finally: tomorrowland. the amount of fans that upticked their talks of colby and stas when they were basically forced to hang out with one another the whole time bc kat and sam wanted their own time away (which is fine, don't get me wrong. but it just really didn't help the already existing issue of colby and stas being shipped) was super fucking annoying. i basically was getting upwards of 10 asks a day, and that's a light guesstimate, about the situation. and while i don't mind talking about something…. i don't want to talk about it that much.

then, the malishka thing happened. i literally ignored it on here bc i just couldn't talk about it. at first, i was angry at colby. like why would he post this this is so stupid. but as time has gone on, i've basically come to the lovely realization that stas is the one that posted it (also, according to some whispers i've heard she basically told her subs that she did. idk tho that's alleged). realistically, colby doesn't understand russian. he probably filmed her, showed her the video, and she typed that and posted it. she also had earlier post the pic on his story of her face zoomed in. at least, that's what i personally believe. and when asked what malishka meant, she probably lied or just didn't tell him bc he probably didn't rewatch his story.

bc something to note is that they had terrible wifi in tomorrowland. so he might not have even known about this whole thing until a day later or so.

and what made all of it worst was the fans' reaction on twitter. and the fact that a lot of the fans that came out and congratulated colby and stas for "finally being together" after "all this time of us knowing" were both ppl i followed and ppl my age……….. i basically was about done with the situation. and then of course she had to like a tweet about the malishka thing. and that solidified it for me.

and if THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, they came home from the trip and colby hung out with her one more time right before moving to vegas. he literally told us on xplrclub that he was gonna be THIRDWHEELING in vegas (aka laying it on AS THICK AS HE COULD that he was single), and that fucking night stas told her subs that she was going on a date. and wouldn't you believe it, but it was her and colby hanging out ! along with others, but no one saw them on her story. just her and colby.

after that, colby mentioned multiple times about being single, being young, and wanting to have fun while in vegas. and i think that's when the tides personally turned for stas. she had fun playing house with colby in europe, she had her fun of living the fantasy of what it would be like to be colby's gf, to be Y/N. but reality set in when they came home. i think the last night they hung out, i think she confessed how she felt, and he rejected her. and look, she has every right to be upset about being rejected. i get being rejected, especially by someone you feel you have a connection to, SUCKS ASS. i'm not denying that. however, you caused your own delusions. colby was literally hooking up with six flags girl multiple times this past year, LITERALLY BROUGHT HER TO A HANG OUT SESSION WITH THE CORE FOUR, …..and you think he was into you???? the same man that deleted comments about the two of you together????????? the same man that FOR YEARS has begged the fandom to stop shipping him with every girl he's friends with??????? that man… was into you?

i mean, he went on a (assumed) date with a girl in vegas and stas tweeted like four things that night about being hurt or whatever (idk at this point i don't remember all the details) and then on top of that deleted said tweets. maybe something happened between them. i doubt it wholeheartedly tho. i think she loved the fantasy of them being an item, but he wanted no parts of it.

bc that's the thing: colby loves to tease us sometimes. like with amber. he loves making the fans freak out. but when he does shit like that, he chose to be part of the game. this is the only time he asked not to be included…. and she did it anyway. i don't think he knew the extent of breadcrumbs she was leaving for fans to speculate. i think when he saw what happened with the malishka shit (bc again he probs didn't see it until a day or two later bc of wifi and just wanting to enjoy his vacation) i think stas left a soured taste in his mouth. and then she made it worst by telling fans that her and him were going on a date…. and that was enough for him to be done with her. that's why at kat's bday party he sat as far from her as possible and seemed to not want any parts of the party. and that's why she's talking about being rejected now. bc i personally think they are done being friends as of rn.

i mean… it would make sense too. bc the moment he was hurt by what stas did, who did he run back to after all this time? shea, the original stas lmao

and as for stas all of a sudden being up kat's ass, to be as bluntly honest as i can be, i do not fucking care. i've gotten a bunch of asks about it. i can't be more frank than literally telling yall i don't care. i'm tired of talking about stas. bc even tho i don't like her, and i do think she is a bit of a snake, not everything she does is newsworthy or needs to be talked about. she liked something that implied feelings for colby? who cares. she wrote a poem about him? who cares. she wants to leave comments about how much she loves kat? omg who cares. we all know at this point she wants attention.

STOP GIVING IT TO HER.

[livecharliereaction]

quick rambles from phone bfore i fall asleep

- they got my ass. I was fully in camp "beato had a rushed redemption bcs well she really likes battler i guess" It was so meticulously planned. All the way from battler going Hmm imagine having a girlfriend haha... at the very start to beatos sprites to her vas phenomenal performance in changing personality to EVA beatrices existence to EVERYTHING

- It does make me wonder what is real and what isnt at all Like rn im under the impression that whatevers happening i shouldnt trust what i see because the witches r capable of just making up and showing Situations especially to battler

- Idc im calling them witches now bcs it makes sense but a good point was raised though I cant imagine what the "shabby form" is. Maybe its a hateful way of saying theyre just humans with power but i dont really know This would be supported by what happened to eva Ur just a human until a big witch gives u power (lambda bern and well beato kinda)

- Remember when i said "if eva kills someone i wont be too surprised" at the very start. Jesus fucking crgist

- Like okay eva we get it i Am surprised. Thanks

- Although i cant properly rationalize it all being evas doing im deciding to think of this as the First time theres a human culprit among the 18 that we know of ok

- It does make me wonder.. i have to reread my own tweets ab 1 and 2... i rmbr natsuhi and rosa being the women in charge but i wouldnt say either of them have been murdering like eva just now

- but natsuhi and rosa i can both imagine having some bitterness in their hearts enough to make up a witch... My pattern seeking brain wants to think kyrie is ep4 center then. However thats not actually too likely because she did dump her regrets at that one part already idk why we should see a whole ep about it

- I hope anges like physically there next time shses cute and fun. But probs not shes going there as a witch yes. Mmh More her anyway i looove her already she has some battlerisms and well shes kyries daughter wtf

- Yay

- Lots of good scenes top 3 well hmm

- HONORARY MENTIONS: blind jessica and ghost kanon escape, beatrice and battler "fighting", kyrie and rudolf solo the two sisters of the seven stakes, lambdas behavior going from what seemed like an idiot toddler to Well That, eva beatrices ceremony party thing coronation, the famous lambda lines abt bern

- The mask of the golden land dropping was #awesome do u know how ive felt abt the Name ange mentioned past few days the little ""spoiler"" hit the tl towers at a PERFECT time Beatrices old laugh being back Battlers disbelief Virgilia eyes open twisted expression The whole golden land thing being a little weird but at this point i trusted beato with my whole heart so i couldve never pinpointed why it felt weird It was all virgilias plan Everything is so What the FUCK

- shannon and kanon are promised a gruel violent death but instead get to die peacefully by genjis hand Seriously its just kanon and shannon but that set me off so bad i was crying irl thats somewhat rare these days wow Something something the furniture who wish to be humans so bad get a humane death in the end (Not the end #Lol)

- of course. Bernkastel recognising ange as a golden witch what the hell I have to see ANGE Beatrice NOW but ill wait ill wait Oh bernkastel i love you...

- soundtracks been phenomenal this ep

- i love it here

- beato save me

- i chanhed my mind she and battler those two wont be friends yup Cant wait how ange gets incorporated in next round. Ok. See U