#and i’d end up like immediately falling in love (platonic or romantic tbh) with the person who showed me any basic amount of attention

[yay-depression]

texting my therapist like “hey can we move up our appointment? i keep having revelations.”

[taifenggg]

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About Me

Hello hello! You’re probably wondering, who the heck am I? 

To start off, you can call me Ash, or if you prefer, Kai is alright as well. My main account is @hhurric4ne​ and seeing as how this is a side blog, any comments on my posts will be responded to with that account HAHA. I’ve been writing fics for the past two or three years and I love it, tbh I have a lot of sideblogs with which I write for various fandoms. I have a lot of requests in each of my inboxes tho so go easy on me please :”). I’m also very unhinged and I like to ramble a lot so don’t mind me, especially if I start going on long tangents about game lore or anything like that.

I am a full-time student so I can’t pump out writing as quickly as I’d like on top of all the other requests that I have in my other inboxes, so please be patient with me! I will get to your request eventually :)

My Other Accounts:

[ @hurricaneonanesthesia ] - Misc/Various Fandoms

[ @tempvstas ] - my Twisted Wonderland writing account

[ @typh0nas ] - my NijiEN writing account

DNI:

If you’re racist, homophobic, transphobic, a proshipper, a person who has been nothing but disrespectful to me or my moots. This is a safe space! You will be blocked if you are any of the above or similar :))

Phew now that that’s out of the way, here are some requesting rules I’d like to set!!

I will do requests, but I have the right to reject any requests if it doesn’t sit well with me, I have my boundaries and if you’re not happy with that, maybe it’s for the best if you find someone else to write the request for you, or request something different!

I won’t be writing for anything that involves cheating or other scenarios similar to that because I’m not comfortable with that.

Anything that’s just straight up physical harm to the reader and/or characters is an immediate no.

Absolutely nothing romantic with Luke, I will block you. Platonic requests for Luke only :)

I most likely won’t write much for Thirteen, Raphael, or Mephisto, I don’t think I’m comfortable writing for them yet because I’m not familiar enough with their characters to get a full grasp for how they would act. You can ask but it’s not guaranteed that I will write for them.

SPECIFY IF YOU WANT A ONE-SHOT OR HEADCANNONS PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU, THIS’LL SAVE ME TROUBLE IN THE LONG RUN.

Poly requests are okay! Unless it’s something like brother x brother x brother in which case, no. 

This time I’m limiting the amount of requests I will take at a given time to 5! I really don’t want to overwhelm myself, and perhaps in the future, I will increase the limit but for the time being I’m keeping it to 5.  Of course, when I open up my requests and I don’t end up closing them until after requests have already gone over the limit, I will write every single request that was submitted from the time that I closed my askbox.

For headcanons, you are allowed to request 3 characters at a given time, and for one-shots, 1 character at a time! The only exception to this being you asking for all the demon bros, or all the dateables(again, only platonic Luke)

This is different than my other blogs, but I will be open to writing NSFW, however again, if I don’t feel comfortable writing it, I will not. 

I’m only writing for GN! and M!Reader, no hate towards F!Reader but you guys have a lot of content, and I wanna show some love to the GN and M!Reader communities as well, but ofc this doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to interact as well!

[ ◇ ] - Guidelines for NSFW content

IF YOU’RE UNSURE ABOUT YOUR REQUEST AND IF IT FALLS IN LINE WITH MY GUIDELINES, PLEASE SEND ME AN ASK FIRST FOR CLARIFICATION

Masterlist Here || Requests Closed! || Mobile users click here if you’re having difficulties and want to request!

Tags:

#ash writes - any form of writing, be it requests, or not. Just any form of fic lmaooo

#ash rambles - when i want to get my thoughts out, not any form of fic, just me rambling or going on tangents

#ash theorizes - obey me theories! i love game lore :]

#ash speaks - any announcements, or more serious posts, most likely won’t use it often

#__ anon - I love my nonnies! You guys get a special tag if you send in a request as an emoji anon.

#ash answers - if you have any questions, this is the tag with your answers

#precious nonnie <333 - for anonymous messages sent into my ask box, and basically messages that aren't requests that are anonymous

#ash after hours - the horny tag, basically the nsfw tag(MINORS BLOCK THIS PLEASE)

[threewaysdivided]

How do you feel about Pink Astronaut. Personally I feel like Paulina deserved a little better than the writers gave her.

I'm 99% sure that's the ship name for Danny x Paulina, right?

(Which probably says a lot about my engagement with the shipping side of the Phandom 😅.)

TBH I don't have any strong thoughts or feelings about it either way.

In all cases I'm a very gen-focussed fan - my interests tend run more in the direction of character psychology, non-romantic platonic/ familial relationships, lore, mystery and theme. It's a personal thing but I just don't read romantic/sexual intent/attraction into character interactions unless they're explicitly framed/intended as such and the way much of the shipping community seems to do so goes completely over my head.

Which isn't to say that I avoid all ship-fics, or that there aren't a number of noncanon ships that I enjoy across different fandoms, but for the most part I favour genfic and when I do read shipfic they tend to be the stories that focus on personality, emotional chemistry and personal/emotional compatibility. And when it comes to thinking about "ships" myself I tend to lean more towards times when characters have canonically expressed that kind of interest, the reasons why they would be compatible/ find each other attractive, how they feel about it and what it says about them.

But back to Paulina:

I think you're right - as a character she (along with basically every human character outside of the main trio, the Fenton family and sometimes Valerie) suffers massively from underdevelopment because of the show's nature as for the most part an episodic kid's superhero-comedy with an ooky-spooky gimmick. Danny Phantom the show is a place where The Status Quo is God and the Rule of Funny/Cool/Drama supersedes everything, up to and including the characters and their consistency.

(You can even see this and the obviously conflicting visions of different parts of the creative team effect the main characters too. Danny suddenly carrying the Jerk Ball in service of a generic "don't be superficial/ materialism is bad" story in Livin' Large, how Tucker is basically learning the same lesson twice across What You Want and King Tuck, the multiple times where Sam's more abrasive negative traits are used as a source of plot/conflict but are never meaningfully addressed or developed because the writers want to keep using those traits for drama and eventually to use her character as the Morally Righteous Generic Love Interest Behind Danny's Heroism... et cetera et certera et cetera.)

Literally every character in DP is done a disservice by the show's writing and Paulina runs into the same problem. She's chained to the post of a very specific narrative function/ character archetype and never intentionally developed beyond what's needed to serve the Plot/ the Joke.

She's clearly written to be the Rich Plastic Mean Girl à la Regina George, and while there is a potentially very interesting character beneath that surface appearance - which we can see in places like Parental Bonding where she shows emotional intelligence by immediately clocking that Sam is actually jealous of Danny's attraction to her, and in her "if my skin is perfect, I'll be perfect" line from My Sister's Keeper which hints at some potentially significant appearance-based self-worth issues - the show itself basically only ever uses her "Pretty Girl" and "Popular A-Lister" status as a source of surface-level character drama for the trio and as a rare plot-convenient situational ally in dire circumstances. Her actions show a consistent characterisation but it's so rudimentary that it barely clears that archetype to become its own thing.

I think if Danny Phantom had taken more structural and tonal influence from Spiderman (or even something like Disney's Kim Possible) rather than Fairly Odd Parents - still keeping things mostly light-hearted but with some extra focus on character consistency and layering some ongoing character arcs over each season - there could have been a lot of potential to develop and flesh out Paulina as a narrative foil/ ongoing rival to Sam and her own character arc. It also could have added some more meaningful non-stereotypical female character dynamics, which are disappointingly but perhaps not surprisingly lacking from a "for boys" Nicktoon headed by a man who named himself "Butch". But as it is she unfortunately falls into that No Man's Land for me, where she isn't developed enough to have much deeper canon worth investigating and isn't really thematically/narratively significant enough that I'd want to develop her myself for story purposes.

As for the Pink Astronaut ship itself, all I can say is that, at least for me, canonically it... isn't really one. At least in terms of what I personally characterise as a 'relationship'. It's stuck at a very shallow level; Danny has a superficial surface-level infatuation with Paulina because she's pretty and popular, and Paulina looks down on "geeky dork loser" Danny Fenton while having a superficial surface-level infatuation with Danny Phantom as "the cute ghost-boy who rescued her". There's no real sense of actual personal chemistry based on them knowing, appreciating or even seemingly caring to know who the other is as a character. None of their "romantic" hijinks really involve them learning anything meaningful about each other or even having a proper conversation. Paulina "dates" Fenton purely to piss off Sam, then "Paulina" shows personal interest in Danny but it turns out to actually be Kitten trying to piss off Johnny, and when she does show interest in him after the reveal in Reality Trip it's kind of obvious that it's because she's interested in dating Phantom and his secret identity wouldn't have mattered either way. And meanwhile Danny spends most of his time either too busy with ghost stuff to properly pay attention to her as a person, or he never really shows any interest or understanding beyond his fantasies about how she's very conventionally pretty (which he finds attractive/desirable) and popular (which he wants to be).

So while there's a lot of potential for people to write that ship in terms of them being two very different characters from different backgrounds who come to learn about each other as people, come to appreciate each other on a personality level and develop an actual romantic/emotional connection based on that... within the show itself that surface level is sort of where it starts and ends.

And like I said, I'm not a shipper. Even with the bigger, more canonically-substantiated ships I look for the personalities moreso than the romance.

So I don't really have any strong thoughts or feelings about it either way.

Sorry if that's not a satisfying answer.

But I do agree: like most DP characters, Paulina Sanchez has a lot more character potential than the writing allowed her.

[plentyofgay]

I need you to tell your parents that we are literally just friends. That that’s all we will ever be. That we had a “talk” and that I’m not physically attracted to you. You’re not my type and that you’re too young for me. That I consider you one of my haunt babies. But that we have a brother like relationship.

But know that I don’t feel like that. You know how I feel. It isn’t gonna change. And it isn’t going anywhere. I can compartmentalism it and have it not be an issue. NOT IN A BAD OR TOXIC WAY. I can have it ready if you decide one day that you’re ready.

Or we can just be best friends. Hopefully best friends that cuddle and still hang out and hug. Cause I love you. Wether it be platonic or romantic.

If you and Kai date. Which I’m worried that you will. And worried that they are going to hurt you. I will be here. I’m always gonna be here. You’re always gonna have a cord of energy attached to you from me and vice versa.

I know your here to show me love that I haven’t received. Whether or not you’re the only one that’s suppose to show me that or not I don’t not know yet. That’s the journey we are currently on.

You’ve never had someone care for you like I do? Have you? Is that the same reason that I’m in your life.

The painting that I made reins true. I’ll find you again wherever we end up next. That resonates with me.

Yes I’m gonna back off with the lovey dovey stuff. The whole reason I think I’ve been doing it is cause I want you to do it back to me. Step out ya comfort zone. I think I like to challenge you.

Don’t be worried that I’m obsessed with you. I just love you. There’s not an obsession. If I was obsessed I would have done some stupid shit. I would have made you think I’m a perfect person and manipulated you. Granted. I don’t genuinely know how I would do that. I’m just being authentic and fully me with you.

I’m attached I believe because you’ve shown me what no one else has. Actual love, kindness, understanding, stability, a genuine connection, you’re supportive. Hell you may not tell me I’m cute and sexy and all the things I wish you would. That’s why I ask you a lot.

I don’t want you to get hurt again. Cause I know you’ve been hurt really badly in the past. I don’t want that for you. I’m so worried that someone is gonna sweep you up. You’re gonna fall for them, they are gonna tell you that you’re not allowed to talk to me or you have to block me, and then boom you’re just gone. I’ve done that with so many people. I always give and give and give. I never get anything back.

But. With you. I’ve gotten stuff back. The energy and effort I’ve put into you I’ve received back and then some.

When you told me earlier that we needed to talk. My brain automatically thought. This is it. He’s gone. This is what you’ve been afraid of. This is your biggest fear. Him showing you something youve never had before. And poof he’s gone like that. But you’re not. You’re still here. You still love me. You still care. Granted we both want what we can’t have. But that’s okay. That’s something we work thru. Nothing is easy. Especially this.

You’re telling me this cause you don’t want me to get hurt. Cause you’re afraid you’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna get mad and never speak to you again?

That ain’t gonna happen. Ever. Never ever. “I’ll find you again wherever we end up next.” Hold on to that phrase remember it. Cause it’s true. I’m always gonna find you. You’re always gonna be a part of my life. I guess I’ve been waiting for you. That’s that. We may be soul mates we may not be. I have nooooo idea. We are something tho. That I can promise. Shit if I died today. We’d find each other again. I’d always be with you. Honestly I could die happy at this point. I think you’ve shown me genuine kindness and love. You’ve shown me something new.

I’m still gonna buy you shit that you don’t need or want. Just cause I do that for everyone. I literally bought a bunch of worms just cause Emily wanted a worm curtain.

Hell we may move on from each other. That may very well happen. I’m not cutting myself off for you. If someone that I think is cute and that I think they like me too then imma prolly try it. Is that okay? Is that gonna hurt you??? I haven’t really found anyone like that yet. Just you so far. But I’m not gonna limit myself.

I will say tho. That if you say. Yes I wanna try to be boyfriends. It’s not gonna be an immediate yes. You still gotta take me on some dates and we still gonna have to like work on some stuff. Just like anyone would. For right now we are just what we are. I don’t wanna call it just “friends”. Cause I don’t wanna label it that. But I don’t think we are quite romantically talking either. We are just doing what we wanna do. When it’s time to not. Well know.

Also. You’re not even 20 yet. You’ve still got shit to do. I’m 24 I’ve still got shit to do. I’m not ready for a long term relationship anyways. It just wouldn’t work right now. I wasn’t even looking for someone to date. Then you rolled around and I was like. Well shit. I just wanted to have sex with you at first. But then ya worked some kind of avery magic and we are where we are now.

So yes. Date Kai if that’s what you figure you want. I don’t think you really need to tho. I don’t think you need to date anyone at the current moment. I think you need to work on other stuff. Just keep like talking to whoever and having fun. But be honest about it. Don’t hide anything.

Just still love me and hang out with me. That’s all I want and need. Even tho sometimes I long for more. But ultimately that’s all is needed. I know I have some work I need to do on me even before I’d be ready to be your boyfriend or anyone ones.

So. Just keep coming over. Maybe we’ll have some sex, maybe we’ll make out. Maybe I can teach you some stuff. Help you discover new things. But we will still hang out. Cause I love you.

I’m not gonna be missing out on anyone or wasting my time if I wait for you. People do not get romantically interested in me. Trust me. So I’m not wasting my time. You’re not wasting my time. If someone comes along and I fall in love with them. You’ll be there first to know. But rn you’ve got me. Soooooo. Imma just be patient. Until you tell me that I shouldn’t. When you tell me there is no chance in hell that we will date that’s when I’ll start getting over you. Till then imma just be patient.

Typing these out make me less anxious. Granted I’ve HAVENT gotten out of my bed since yesterday. Cause I still don’t know what’s going on. I still don’t know whether to let you go or to keep you close. I’m just confused and sad. I haven’t cried again yet. I haven’t self harmed. I haven’t even really felt like it tbh. I haven’t really felt like much actually. I think I’m still processing yesterday. It was really back and forth.

So what are we now? If we keep hanging out is Kai gonna stop talking to you?? I’m really worried about that. That’s not fair to you. And if you do date Kai. I’m not gonna be mad. I’m gonna be very very worried. I don’t believe your ready for a relationship and I think it would end not so well. BUT that just what I think. And I’m still kinda worried about Kai. I’ve just had a weird feeling and I still do. That’s just me being honest and open.

I think I’m okay with just hanging out and not being lovey dovey for now. I’ll do my best to not be lovey divert. If I do just tell me.

[kazbrekkerrs-remade]

ekrjhak i lov eu and to further enable you: ur thoughts on blue, gansey, ronan and adam and henry? and their group dynamic????? 👀👀👀

Wow this took me ages sorry dfjfhd. Claire... u enable me too much these are my onions <3. Under a cut because I went. overboard :3. I’m probably going to have to shorten this I don’t know if tumblr will even let me post something this long dkshjfhg. (Also I wrote half of this in word so if there’s proper capitalization in places that’s why, don’t let it cloud my image as a cool, laid-back bitch that doesn’t care for grammar.)

i’m starting individually then moving onto group dynamics heh

blue i like blue but it did take a bit of growing on me djjdjhjss. i like her a lot bc i relate to her a lot, but i do think there was a lot of room for improvement. she said she wanted to see the world and make it better but how exactly.. is that a roadtrip? i mean i guess it’s a start in a way, but i think it would’ve been much better if we saw her join an activist organization.. volunteer for a non-profit or something. Also her misguided feminism ah! But I can be a bit more lenient with that bc she was still very young when the series ended so. Also she was revealed to be part tree and then like. Nothing substantial came of it? idk

Ganseyboy! I have to be honest my.. fave uwu. There is a Lot of room for improvement  but I just. Optimist!! insecurities :( also he KNEW he was gonna d*e I’m. sad. Anyway like I said a lot of room for improvement as in like.. not everything is about you king <3 also he needs more… idk I don’t wanna say empathy bc i think that’s something different but like. He needs to realise that what he thinks is best isn’t gonna be the way everyone deals with something, if that makes sense? Like basically the “how do you know what’s good for me?” “THAT’S MY OPINIOOONNNNN!!” vine. THAT SAID I love him so much.. he held up the mouse to his face! And smiled!! mon dieu.. when he made bird jokes to make adam laugh… “am I in your dreams?” AH! In a way, blue and gansey are sons of the same gun: I love them both but there could be more done with them tbh. But I have a lot of fun with Fansey, a.k.a: fatima gansey. Kind of like fanon gansey except no one’s opinion matters besides mine <3 (basically it’s  the *aggressively kicks off shoes* “yee haw”, parts of gansey, and then me giving him the arc he deserves) maybe we could sum it up to “ma’am that’s my emotional support projection character” but like. That’s my business.

ADAM! Previous endorsements include: “might fuck around and become an adam parrish stan account.” “I’ve only had adam for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.” “I go :D whenever I see it’s an adam chapter” (these are more or less verbatim from my previous posts.) that said, I don’t have many fully formed thoughts because I uhhh don’t remember the books that well and also I repress the adam chapters bc they hit too close oops :). tbh I don’t have many complaints at all heh. That’s not to say he doesn’t have flaws but a) I will excuse them because he’s justified, adam does anything problematique and I’m like he can have a little murder. As a treat. and b) I genuinely loved his arc so. No complaints for real!! Also.. adam realising he is capable of loving and being loved…. *kermit meme* I have nearly teared up while writing this. :( one more half baked thought: trc having being “known” as a mark of being loved but then adam being like “i am unknowable” and then there was a moment of him with ronan like “how foolish of him to think he was unknowable”.... *kermit hearts meme intensifies*

RONAN O CLOCK to be honest. I. don’t have any meta or complaints I just love him. I love him a LOT okay.. very much. Big love. Sharp edges tough guy but he names his dream animals chainsaw and gasoline and has a pooping blanket for chainsaw… I can’t remember the quote but that but in cdth where he was like the point is dreamer or not if people are going to get hurt I’m going to stop it… Much to think about. HIS GROWTH. IN THE DREAM THIEVES wow can you believe I read him in TRB and was like ‘I don’t care for him’ ddhfjdhf and then in the dream thieves I’m like.. I have rescinded all previous callouts of ronan lynch. Oops. HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS SO MUCH oh my gosh. Ronan just… he has so much range for feeling!! he feels so much!!! I love that about him so much omg

Henry. Ah. This is where we get kind of controversial jdhjdfh I’m sorry but. I’m going to be honest I like him well enough as a character but I don’t care for him much I’m sorry I just. It’s because he was introduced so late. And only became an important character towards like.. the last half of TRK? I mean, I’d have loved him if he was introduced earlier, hell at least have him come into play in BLLB. The issues I have with him isn’t because of anything about him as a character though, I think it’s all about the way he was handled. I think because he came in so late, there just wasn’t enough time to do justice to the depth that he had, or give him an arc or anything, or enough time to connect with him. Also a part of me feels like he was in there just to kind of tie up Blue and Gansey’s stories and give them something to do after the end of TRK (which sucks because like… making your only canon POC being primarily to develop/give your white characters storylines… (blue isn’t white in my mind but like she was written “colorblind” and when that happens it usually means the author viewed them as white at least in the beginning jhfhgfj. but i don’t remember it too well so if i’m wrong lmk please!)). But probably my biggest problem is: I couldn’t help get the vibe that MS was facing criticism for the lack of diversity and so decided to bring in an asian character. Like, I feel that way bc he came in so late, and because of that he was so half-baked I’m.. gah. GAH. That’s unfair maybe henry is a cool dude hdhfg but I just can’t warm up to him because of this :/

Group dynamics!! With the gangsey I have to *sobs* I love them so much I’m.. what a strange constellation they all were <3

blue and ronan!! BROnan amirite… omg. That moment when blue nearly slips and ronan immediately catches n holds on to her… she would have to remember that :( sons of the same gun. Best friends!

Blue and adam.. gah. As friends it really goes hard. Get you someone who will stab you if you fall too deep into the nether-realm <3 but uhh. As dates. YIKES. Blue really just. Kissed noah while dating him. And didn’t even think for a second “I have a bf” :( not very cool of her to tell gansey about the kiss curse but not telling adam which I mean, I know that happened to show that they weren’t a good match but. Still yikes. Blue was lowkey cheating on adam the whole time during tdt huh :( also bro I am number one stan of the “I wish you could be kissed jane” scene but it happened literally RIGHT AFTER she broke up with adam I’m. relax <3. I wish that was kind of addressed but meh, overall it doesn’t bother me too much. I think they’re great friends :)

Ronan and adam… I can’t talk about it too much. I really can’t!! I really really can’t! the fact that adam goes to gansey like what is love and gansey is like she makes me quiet… and then adam is like “he was so still inside”.. :( omg the bit during trb when ronan is going on a swearing tirade and adam is like “they didn’t start making the civic until ‘73 <3” what a JACKASS I love him. Second secret!! --okay! Wait I have to say: while this one is not really a big deal compared to all their other moments, my favourite quote is “ and he realised that while he’d been looking at ronan, ronan had been looking at him” :uwu face:

Blue and gansey: :3 :33333 maybe it’s the muslim but I really like the tragedy of not being able to kiss :( I would beg just one off you! Under all this! Maybe I’m crying because of the inherent romantic-ness of the night sky with all its stars and late night drives :( wow I love them. Also i know most people find it annoying but I personally love the “I’m never gonna fall for this person” *fast forward to getting to know each other* “ahahah. :) I have rescinded all callouts of ____. she is now my girlfriend (long story)” (not to be confused with enemies to lovers <3 (not to be confused with enemies to friends to lovers <3)) also they can kiss now thank you very much.

Okay I will just preface this with: gansey’s relationships with both ronan and adam have the “how do you know what’s good for me” element to them so I don’t have to address it later hdfgjlfj but bro they love each other so much I’m… “dream me the world… something new for ever night” you’re leaving for TWO DAYS.. gansey gave up monmouth omg what became of that I really forgot khffhk did he get it back. I don’t even need to elaborate on ronan, “ronan would do anything for gansey” :(

ADAM AND GANSEY I been WAITNG for this one! Turn it up! Bro if you saw the whole face I made when I realised it was time for this kdhfhfkhu this is so loaded despite the fact that I cant articulate it <3 the.. idk what to call them. Parallels? Foils? I didn’t take lit sorry but he RANGE we could have had there… remember when gansey was shocked in trk bc :0 you guys came with me and also “they had run for him”. bro their whole relationship had so much. Tension because of their different backgrounds and fundamentally different outlooks because of their backgrounds, and I think if we had seen them properly connect then both of them could have grown from that. I know we see adam understanding gansey a bit better I don’t remember when that happened but I know it did at some point hhdsf but gansey.. never does! Huff and puff. It’s really so FRUSTRATING to me bc that could have key development for gansey but also for adam and gansey’s relationship. And also I feel like we didn’t.. see them try either? Which is so frustrating like idk if it’s a fault on stiefvater’s part or just with YA lit in general that platonic relationships are kind of ignored. Or maybe it’s because idk I remember ms saying she had a lot of issues while writing trk.. but still. We could have really had it all but instead I have to live with “don’t break him adam” I’m (: ok but now I must lighten the mood hjsdhf so might I add: when one of them sees the principal in his crazy funky junky hat and goes “yee haw”… when gansey is like :DDD hey ADAM guess WHAT and adam is like ? and gansey is like oh it was a fully casual problem with the ALTERNATOR of my car of COURSE it was the alternator, it was really simple and I fixed it with much ease :D and adam is like :’D felt like the had hatched a baby bird.. my uwus. ADAM! give me an idea! ALSO if anyone will allow me to venture into adansey territory…. the fact that adam is cabeswater’s magician and gansey now.. is cabeswater in a way. MUCH to think about. I still spend a lot of time thinking about the dryad au the problem is I have never been to progress past the “vague concept” stage of stories and this is why I don’t write dhfjhfdhf. But yes. I think about it often :3

i also like the henry with the gang, i think it could work really well but once again it wasn’t given the time for me to really see it :( also. ronan being racist. and adam laughing along with that. why was that included, ms turn on your location i just wanna talk

okay once again thank you for enabling me claire and i’m so sorry for this monster dsjkhfjkdhg

[firelxdykatara]

Zuko is such a JERK when it comes to women! Why do you ship him with freakin' Katara after she suffered trauma not only from him but from his country and his deadbeat family?!? If you legitimately think she would just fall in love for him right after hating him, you don't know her character at all! I mean, she barely even knows him toward the end of the show. Most girls won't go after someone they hardly even know.

You know, I was gonna ignore this, cause it’s bullshit and I’m tired, and I almost wanna wait a while to see how many times I can goad you into sending me the exact same message:

(seriously, did you have that copied to your clipboard or something??? lmfao)

but nah, I’m just gonna stop you right here.

First of all, Zuko is not ‘a jerk when it comes to women’. He’s a socially awkward, traumatized teenager, who tried his best to be a loving and attentive boyfriend when he was actually in a relationship, and with the one other girl we saw him date he was kind and gentle and goofy and risked being found out as a firebender just so he could light some candles for her and make her smile. (If you wanna throw Song into the mix, too, he met her at one of the worst points in his life, and he stole her ostrich horse, which was bad–but he also connected with her in a way we would not get to see him do with anyone else until Katara. And, notably, it wasn’t until he met Katara that he actually let someone else touch his scar.)

Bringing it back to Maiko for a second, at my most charitable towards Mai (whom I do not like, as a character, regardless of ships), they were jerks to each other. While Zuko put in effort which Mai notably did not, and while Mai was dismissive of the efforts he did make, he took out his anger on her in ways he certainly shouldn’t have. (Really, The Beach wasn’t a good look for anyone, but Mai wasn’t exactly an innocent victim in the way their relationship continually fell apart. They were remarkably ill-suited for a couple we’re supposed to believe eventually made a life together.) And Zuko wasn’t being ‘a jerk’, he was hurt and angry and lashing out because nothing made sense, and he was so busily trying to warp himself to fit his father’s twisted image of ‘a worthy heir’ that he very nearly lost himself entirely–not a healthy basis on which to build a relationship, no, and part of why Maiko didn’t work is because it was a relationship based on Zuko trying to be something he wasn’t and could never be again. When he finally realized that, and left his father and his family and his corrupt nation behind so that he could find the avatar and make the world a better place? He was so much happier and healthier, and, if you’ll notice, a whole lot nicer–to himself and everyone around him.

That’s what tends to happen when someone stops lying to themselves about who they are and what they want and what they’re comfortable being complicit in. It’s called character development–you should look it up.

Speaking of development!

There’s this funny thing that happens when a former villain or antagonist has this thing called a ‘redemption arc’ (google is your friend, and it could even provide you with examples!!!) and joins forces or even becomes friends with the heroes–relationship development. Do I expect Katara to immediately fall for someone she hates? Of course not. That’s why, in terms of canon, I have always envisioned Zuko and Katara getting together post-series. While a Z/K endgame would’ve been much more earned than the K/A and Z/M ones we got, I actually didn’t want the epilogue of atla to feature a romantic kiss at all! Because the important thing at the end of the series was the gaang, all together, representatives from all four nations coming together in harmony and unity, and symbolizing the future of peace and prosperity that the gaang had finally achieved by removing Ozai from power.

At the end of the series, Katara no longer hates Zuko. That’s just a fact. You don’t have to like it, you don’t even have to admit it, but you know, even if you insist on lying to yourself about it, that they developed an incredibly close friendship and had the strongest bonds of any two members of the Gaang, save, Sokka and Katara. Whether or not you interpret any of their interaction or feelings as romantic, they are close friends by the end of the series, and know a great deal about each other, not to mention everything they went through together.

Zuko made a concerted effort to learn about Katara’s past, to figure out why she hated him so much more than the rest of the gaang–and when he found out that she was projecting her hatred, not just of the Fire Nation but of the man who killed her mother, onto him, he gave her a way to confront it, and he gave her a means of gaining closure which no one else even realized she needed. He helped her heal in a way that no one else did–and, in turn, she helped him face his uncle and come to terms with the fact that what he’d done in the past did not have to define him now, or in the future. Then she helped him confront the last bastion of his father’s power and influence, and in helping him defeat his sister and then saving his life, she protected the future of the entire world at his side.

You don’t have to like it, but none of the other romantic pairs (or even most of the platonic ones, tbh) got the sort of emotional energy and catharsis that Zuko had with Katara.

As to this priceless bit of non-logic, “Most girls won’t go after someone they hardly even know”: were you asleep when Jet was playing? Katara knew Zuko a whole hell of a lot better, by the end of the show, than she knew Jet when she was hardcore crushing on (and kissing) him. She had an attraction to Haru, too, when they first met and she barely knew him. Hell, she knew Zuko better than Aang knew her when he first developed feelings for her! (And, I’d argue, by the end of the series Zuko knows and understands Katara far better than Aang does, but that’s an argument for another day.) Furthermore, have you never heard of infatuation? Instant attraction? Love at first sight or chemistry at first touch? Sure, people don’t usually build long-lasting romantic relationships with someone they don’t know at all, but idk if you know about this great invention called ‘getting to know someone’–which is something that usually happens somewhere in between the initial attraction and the actual relationship!

Anyway, now that you’ve learned a thing or two, think you could run along and bug somebody else? I’m tired and would rather be spending energy on the mountain of WiPs I’ve been steadily building.

[selfshippinglover]

all of the self insert development questions for your harry potter s/i >:3

AWWW THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH MAGNUS!! i’M PROBABLY LATE BUT YESS!! I’M EXCITED :DD

1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?

Nope! I mostly just stick with my own name just cause I like it to feel more like me in world :)

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!

~So, Hagrid and I have a very strong friendship before the whole dating thing! :DD I met well he was caring for a mythical creature and we bonded quickly just talking by it tbh :))

~McGonagall and I are best friends! we bond pretty quickly once the school year kicks off! As I’m a newer hire to the school, I’m still getting used to how everything works(I end up going via Hagrid’s recommendation!) and she actually helps me in between classes if I have any questions. We both care strongly for the lives of our students and are annoyed by the ones that are disruptive. So yeah, we also are fast friends :)

~I have a great deal of respect for Dumbledore despite his uhhh, “method” of teaching sometimes being straight up dangerous to others. Sometimes it’s even begrudging respect! I love the way he run things but I wish he’d put the students in less danger >:/ Still, I know I can feel safe to talk to him whenever I may need.

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?

~I’m definately closest to Hagrid and McGonagall. I’d drop everything if even one of them was in danger.

~I mean, the only people I don’t really like ar the ones serving Voldemort....and Gilderoy =-=

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?

~My backstory is very basic: I’m just another wizard in the world. Timid, unsure of what I wanna do with my life, and lowkey craving adventure.(boi does life deliver on that  one fkhjhsjg) One day while walking through many of the forests in the Wiarding Worl, I meet a half giant. We become friends very quick and he shows me around his home as well as educates me on mythical creatures. I find out that he actually works at the most well reknown school in all of the magical world and they have a slot open! I’m anxious at first but decide(after much coaxing and the reminder that he’ll be there if I need him) to give it a shot. I end up making the cut and officially and becoming an assist teacher! I go around as many classes as I can and help out :33 

~The only way my relationships are affected is by becoming closer and making new ones really.

~After having no big dreams, my dream becomes to learn how to help as many students as I can to reach their potential and to feel good about themselves! I always to preach to them about good mental health, remind them to drink often, and be aware when teachers and students aren’t feeling well. I offer to take their place if it’s a magic I know well enough.

5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? Are they passive, like the ability to befriend animals, or dangerous power that the villains want? Or if theyre evil - any powers the heroes want to stop?

I mean, as a wizard, I’ve got plenty! i try to have a decent array of everyday use kind of spells, lots of healing focu spells, and self-defense based ones. (I learn more offensive stuff at the school)So yeah, pretty passive.

6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? Do they stay on the sidelines? What would it take for them to get off the sidelines? Revenge? Saving a loved one? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?

I really prefer to not use violence/engage in confrontation and will avoid it by sticking to the sidelines and only intervening when the students fight. If it were to be two professors, I’d probably stay out of it... ^-^’ the big thong that would push me out and/or through my fear would be if someone I cared about was stepping up to the plate/in danger. I can’t let others get hurt!

7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?

~I like a variety of aesethics but my insert ends up sticking to more formal attire sense it’s a school.

~I don’t really like wearing things that show a lot of skin so that really.

~Looots of formal attire, a few dresses, protective gear, enchanted clothes,  and very casual clothing.

8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?

I’m mostly a side character that has her own personal arc about feeling good enough in that place and stepping up against my personal fears to help others.

9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?

~Magic foods are freaking weird so I stick with the most looking stuff XDD

~Red and Pink are still favorite colors, hang out with the other teachers, patrol campus, learn about mythical creatures, take day trips to the shopping districts, read the newspapers, and hang out with my friends :33

~She expresses joy by sharing with others, stimming via movement, and just being all excited when talking about it :33

10. Their least favorites? What don’t they enjoy in life? How do they deal with being presented with things they don’t like?

~just don’t like the usual stuff, anger, confrontation, jerks, being forced into things you know, the usual.

~I just have a  fear reaction to most things so I try to avoid it and/or deescalate things.

11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? By contrast, how easy are they to cheer up? What can brighten a bad day?

~As a sufferer of fear and depression, being sad comes easily. Anger is an emotion reserved for very few evil acts. I’ve learned to cope a bit better at that point so I don’t immediately fall into sadness but a few more pushes or crazy things happening would overwhelm me fast.

~I’m a bit hard to cheer up if I’m suffering a depressive episode but way easier if I just feel bad. Distraction works perfectly fine in that situation. I really just need downtime and my friends faces.

12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?

~I’m pretty sociably flexible as long as there aren’t large crowds. (Though I don’t like meeting groups of new people cause it makes me anxious) I find it easy to befriend others since I treat others like my friends from the start. I can be nice to anyone, ya know? It mostly depends on my energy level that day tbh.

~I’m only really uncomfortable with angry people, people that boost their own ego at the cost of others, people that commit horridly evil acts, and people that are super narrow-minded about things.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

Nothing big, just exsist happily and not suffer through their terrible mental struggles all the time. Later on though, she decides she wants to help and protect everyone to the best of her ability; no matter the situation. She is very easily pushed into doing things unless it’s for others so uhh, once all the bad stuff happens, the situation and fear for her students and peers pushes her into action.

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

Not really, no? Well, idk yet. Kinda questioning if McGonagall could be an older sister.

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

I mean, the only people she has anything against are people that try to hurt the ones she loves and well, that’s self-explanatory on its own.

16. Free question space! Ask whatever you want to know!

No one asked but Luna Lovegood is underrated as hell and the movies did her dirty!!

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

I think about Zelink in each game and I seriously give Nintendo props for creating a compelling dynamic between the two no matter if it’s purely platonic or has romantic undertones or is just blantantly spelled out as soulmates.

OoT Zelink has romantic undertones. Don’t even try to argue with me if ya feel differently. It isn’t spelled out plainly enough that we could say it’s practically canon, but it does have that bond between them that’s undeniable.

In the game, you can literally go back into the castle as Young Link and show Zelda the different masks Link acquires through the side quests. And the entire idea of Link sneaking pst all those guards to show Zelda some mask is hilarious and adorable.

After the time jump, Sheik then accompanies Link and it’s 10000% obvious that he’s fascinated with them. Link wants to spend as much time with Sheik as he possibly can. Water Temple aftermath scene anyone? That made it obvious (for me) that OoT Zelink are soulmates, because it’s their souls pulling them together and creating this attraction. Gender has no say. (It’s also makes Link 10000% bi in this game since Sheik is considered a “guy” to everyone else and I live for this headcanon). No matter who they’re disguised as, the chemistry and attraction is THERE. Plus, in Kakariko when they’re attacked by the Shadow. Staying by the others side. Trying to protect each other. Please let me live.

And the final battle. Oh this poor bby. He sticks his arm out to protect her. He’s so loyal to this girl. He found out she was this person guiding him the entire time and she’s separated from him as soon as she reveals her identity. Foolishly banging on a crystal to free her? Desperate boy wanting to save the girl he cares so much about. Link’s entire life ends up revolving around Zelda in this game. She is the one person he truly truly cares about on a deep level.

I love Malon and all, but I never saw the connection. I’ve always headcanoned the idea that Link comes back from MM’s events and goes straight to Zelda and legitimately just grows up in Castle Town under Zelda’s orders and is trained for the Guard and eventually becomes the head of the entire Hyrulian Army. I also headcanon that OoT Zelink both die young, but not before they have a child who is then given to their trusted friend Malon to raise. (I know it’s a dark headcanon but hey I think it makes sense)

Twilight Princess, on the other hand, gives off much more platonic vibes. Partly because Zelda is barely in this game. I do love Midlink in this game too, but as an endgame, nope. The thing about Twilight Princess Zelink is that it could POSSIBLY happen after the game’s events. But during the actual gameplay? This Zelda and Link play their respective roles to ultimately defeat Ganon. It’s more professional.

People can debate about this one, with Link’s attention whenever Zelda is in the room being solely on her and all, but I see that more as a ranch hand meeting royalty for the first time and being awed by the regal and natural beauty she exudes. I have said that I can see them happening through a friends with benefits type of situation, but only after.

In game, the story pretty much implied that Ilia is the love interest and not Midna or Zelda. Tbh, I didn’t love her character but I knew for a fact that Link did so I went with it. But I’m replaying the game now and BOYYY it seriously points to Ilia and Link being an item. And it makes perfect sense too. But after everything, I’d see Link sticking around Zelda more because she at least understands. But again, in game and from the canon events, Zelink is more platonic than anything.

Skyward Sword is completely platonic. Idk how y’all got “soulmates” from this Zelda and Link, I mean-

Yeah no do I even have to talk about how this game is blatantly romantic? Its not even UNDERTONES like it’s full out “I’m doing this to save the girl that I love”. They’re literal soulmates and started the kingdom of Hyrule and I couldn’t be MORE PROUD! The first Zelda and Link happen to be in love and they managed to get cursed so in every incarnation they’re bound to meet each other and I think that’s beautiful (despite the angry third wheel that reincarnates with them). But otherwise, this game is legit a love story between Link and Zelda with a bit of action and adventure sprinkled in. Good quality and excellent eyeliner.

Breath of the Fucking Wild people. I know I already did romantic undertones but would I be me if I DIDNT go on a little rant about the beauty of this Zelink??? Didn’t think so. It’s also not even undertones. It’s also not blatantly romantic. It’s heavily implied.

So, you get the hate to love trope, the princess and her knight trope, AND the amnesia trope. All three in this very special pair. The memories play these two very well. The actual story to the game may have been a bit underwhelming, but Zelink’s story is MASSIVE. The memories show us a very complex Zelda, a mute Link who is loyal to a fault, and an epic love story between the two. This isn’t even a theory. It’s actually canon. (Thank you Kass, ily bby)

Now Link’s perspective isn’t fully fleshed out, but that’s the thing. It’s not supposed to be. But what we do get is a few pieces of information that makes you go “oh so he does have feelings for Zelda”. First being the Journal Entries. He wants to save Zelda ASAP so he can see her smile. He wonders if she will be pleased with how far he’s come. He is determined to save her after gaining all his memories of their relationship back. This Link only truly remembers Zelda. The Champion’s have some place in his mind, but he doesn’t remember like like he remembers Zelda.

Second being the little moments in the memories, like him staying by Zelda’s side in the castle to just hang out with her, listening to her ramble on about science things, being Extra Asf when the ground shakes and he immediately goes to make sure Zelda doesn’t stumble, turning around when Zelda begins to doubt herself, sheathing his sword despite being chased by murder bots. It’s just all those little things that makes you THINK.

Third being the flowers. The symbolism. It’s all too real and I won’t even get STARTED on how Nintendo gave us a canon ship name for BotW Zelink and we had the audacity to IGNORE IT!!!

Fourth being the fact that they practically debunk Miphlink after giving it the potential to become official. Stay with me. They painted Mipha as the typical childhood friend that falls in love with the protagonist. Except, I can say with certainty that it’s 1000% one sided. In the game, Link goes to Zora’s Domain as a kid and Mipha heals kid Link’s wounds because she a kind and gentle soul. There’s nothing romantic about that given the fact Mipha writes about it before she writes about the feelings she develops.

When Link goes back, she writes about how he looks past her, doesn’t open up to her, but still remains the kind soul she knows him to be. This in and of itself tells us that Link has no feelings for her whatsoever. He’s a knight and he does his best to protect whoever is in need. But he doesn’t truly reconnect with Mipha as a teenager because he remains closed off and in her diary, Mipha confirms the fact that he doesnt give her the same attention that she gives him. She makes the Zora Armor, yeah, but she didn’t present it to Link AND she prayed to Ruto. Ruto being the Zora that fell for Link but that relationship never happened because Link didn’t have feelings for her whatsoever. That in and of itself gives the impression that this relationship is also one sided. The thing that always stood out to me was how Mipha never presented the Zora Armor and how she realized Link and Zelda would grow closer because all the time they had was spent with each other. My theory is that Mipha saw Link and how he seemed a bit less weighed down. And it hit her that the Zelda is also more carefree at this point. And she puts two and two together and realizes that Link and Zelda have opened up to each other and gotten much closer as a result. Hence, why she didn’t give him the Zora Armor since she saw where Link’s heart truly lies. That’s just my own personal idea and theory on her not giving him the armor, so don’t judge lol.

But BoTW Zelink is so COMPLEX and is heavily implied to be canon after the events that I cannot wait to see how the sequel treats their relationship. It’s definitely going to be fun to watch and play.

OKAY SO MY POINT WAS

Nintendo provided all thes unique takes on two characters yet never gave them a toxic relationship, but always one where they can rely on the other when they needed to. And I think that’s beautiful.

*please take note that these are more of my personal opinions and how I view the relationships which may differ from others but that’s okay since LoZ is supposed to be a franchise where you are Link and so whatever you love, he loves. I’m just a slut for Zelink 🤷🏻‍♀️

[realmzenith]

benke !!!!!!

u truly want me dead but ily so- BUT OK BENKE my meme child

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?.2 seconds i hate him. if he HAD to sit still and he was feeling slightly more chill than usual he could prbly go five minutes. tops. he’s just rlly antsy. he needs to be doing smth w his hands

How easy is it for your character to laugh?EH not super easily but defo more easily than a lot of my other ocs from one to ten one being laughs extremely easily he’s prbly a 4. the key is to find him memes esp political nihilistic memes or fall in front of him bc he’s terrible

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)he doesn’t sleep. e v e r. who do u think he is?? nah jk on a more serious note, he actually doesn’t sleep very easily so usually he just listens to music until he dozes off

How easy is it to earn their trust?gosh that’s. difficult to say. p hard actually?? surprisingly hard for how much of a meme he acts like and how relatively extroverted he is. from one to ten w one meaning it’s very easy to gain his trust i’d say 7

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?he doesn’t rlly attach himself to ppl easily so it’s p easy to get him to not trust u. like he’ll be chill w u but he wont trust u all that much it’s a weird dynamic w him. w one being v easy to get him to distrust and ten very hard, he’s a 5. p much in the middle not rlly too much to one side or another

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules are great until they impede him from getting what he’s aimin for :) on a more serious note, he doesn’t rlly give a damn abt most laws like he doesn’t want to go to jail but at the same time if he’s not going to get caught he’s going to do it bc hey wtf yolo

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?LOL NOSTALGia thats a joke he dislikes sappy things n nostalgia falls into that category but he will on v v rare occasions reminisce. certain musical pieces have that effect on him esp the classical ones as he’s grown up w music (being a practical prodigy on the piano and all). he guesses that sometimes it is kind of nice to remember. just once in a while tho. in a while being the key phrase here

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?I MEAN he’s sixteen he’s still technically a child but basically the most common thing he hears is stop slacking and work harder. being an asian kid getting As is? absolutely crucial he’ll be smacked upside the head by his parents if he doesn’t so they always tell him to stop slacking tf off n actually study for once (tbh it’s fine he’s a genius practically he gets As easier than u can say banana split)

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?absolutely and he doesn’t rlly remember but he thinks it was “shit”

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?once he set out twenty peeps just behind the wheels of his mom’s car and when she backed out the entire wheels got covered in peeps and when she came home saying there was all this weird gooey stuff on her wheels and looked pointedly at him. he just blurted out that it was god exacting judgement on her for her sins. it didn’t end well. he ended up washing the entire car by himself. it still haunts him to this day

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?he’ll literally just say “what the fuck” and laugh

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?whine about it until someone scratches it for him dependent on how comfy he is around the ppl he’s with. if he’s not comfy around the ppl he’s w he’ll just sulk internally or scurry off to the bathroom and like, rub his back (presumptively that’s where he can’t reach) against the edge of the stall until the itch is gone bc he’s high

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he thinks he looks best in all colors also he doesn’t rlly care abt fashion. he looks best in HM like purple or royal blue?? 

What animal do they fear most?he has this weird fear of armadillos and no one knows why it has smth to do w an incident at the zoo when he was six

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he honestly doesn’t say everything that comes to mind even tho it SOUNDS like he does but he also. basically says everything that comes to mind. it’s odd bc he ends up being rlly engaging in conversation anyways. however he isnt immune to being at a loss for words and when he’s under pressure he will stumble a lil thru what he’s saying. but most of the time what u hear is what he’s thinkin

What makes their stomach turn?ok he’s not SUPER big abt justice or anything like that but if someone’s being torn down he’ll get rlly uncomfy unless he’s the one who initiated it bc he’s like hey hey haha guys dont say that abt them. also he dislikes roly polys w a passion bc they remind him of armadillos :)

Are they easily embarrassed?on one hand he has no shame on the other he does get p flustered if ppl flirt w him and it hits a spot (in a good way)? like he does get embarrassed moderately easily but it takes him a few seconds to realize he should be embarrassed if u get me

What embarrasses them?flirting, if u get a well aimed compliment in that he didn’t expect. also realizing he’s made a fool of himself bc that oftentimes happens but he also rarely realizes it so if he REALIZES he’s made a fool of himself he will get flustered

What is their favorite number?420 duh

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d be like wtf why r u asking me this but if someone he does trust and is close to asked him he’d try his best to give a serious answer after a bout of awkward laughing to make sure they were serious. prbly like “familial love and platonic love are the same thing basically right? i guess platonic love is how u love ur friends so yk brofists and shit and then romantic love is more? special? idk it’s fucking great tho *fingers guns at sev*”

Why do they get up in the morning? his mom makes him get up for school otherwise what is leaving his bed when he can just pull his comp onto his lap while STAYING in his bed and game from there

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? oh he’s very possessive. he’ll defo keep whatever he’s worried abt losing close by to start and if it’s a person- friend or s/o- he’s going to be touching them a lot more. a hand on the back, a hug at the side, running his hands through their hair casually. anything to assert that no back off ur not taking them from me. but if it continues, which it v well may, knowing him, he’s going to start getting snarky n verbally fighting the other person. basically Messy pls reassure him if u are the object of his affections and he’s getting side-eye emoji abt someone 

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? he defo becomes resentful a bit. like he doesn’t get envious over most things- it’s mostly fear of losing the thing once he has it- but when it does he will get resentful and hole up a bit and generally just seem a little ticked

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?yeah he’s comfy talking abt sex. prbly a little too comfy. so basically anyone willing to engage him in the conversation topic will likely hear abt it but he’s calmed down ever since he got involved w sev

What are their thoughts on marriage?marriage is good? but far off and amorphous in his mind. for the most part he’s like there’s nothing wrong w it but it crosses his mind EXTREMELY infrequently   

What is their preferred mode of transportation? preferably in the back of a private plane, squirrel suit gliding or on a giant eagle, none of which he’s ever experienced in his life. but out of the things he has he is fond of sailing when it’s calm out bc he does get seasick a tiny bit. he likes fast cars too

What causes them to feel dread? his mother :) she may be small but she is Frightening

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? he doesnt rlly give a damn so lie most of the time but at the same time if he cares abt the thing and he’s asking u abt it pls do urself a favor and tell him the truth. it’s what he prefers and it’s rare anyways that he actually asks after smth

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? nope. he wants to win a nobel prize, publish a meme compilation book, become a world class pianist, go to pluto- u get the idea. ya boi has many high hopes for himself which he’s not rlly meeting atm. he’s a little all over the place, so despite his many talents he isn’t quite living up to the ideal version of himself he’s seeking after and prbly never will it’ll be very hard to get him to admit this not bc he’s an edgelord or smth but it’s hard to get him to talk abt deeper things but he does sincerely want to be a good moral person which dependent on the day and his level of seriousness he may or may not be living up to in his own eyes as well as in the eyes of others. what can i say he’s kind of a hoe

Who do they most regret meeting? life…. when life’s hand touched upon his little heart and gave him the gift of herself he immediately was filled w Ragret- on a more serious note it’s prbly the armadillo from the zoo

Who are they the most glad to have met? sev? he also adores his piano teacher but good luck getting him to admit that w heartfelt sincerity 

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? it’s honestly whatever’s the most recent thing he observed, heard or experienced when it comes to stories. he has no shortage of words to say and his fav sort of memes and jokes are politically nihilistic ones. so those are? in a way his go to?

Could they be considered lazy? yes. he only applies himself if he’s interested and for most of school he has no qualms abt being a lil sus and casually “accidentally” getting the answers to things so yeah that’s. that could be considered lazy. however, when he does care abt smth he will absolutely dedicate himself to it. he practices piano consistently and diligently day in and day out so it honestly depends on if he cares or not

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? v difficult. he rarely becomes guilty for longer than .4 seconds but when it does he’s srsly going to internalize that bc if he’s feeling guilty he prbly f-ed up real bad. he also won’t rlly talk abt it to anyone so it’s even more likely it’ll just get internalized 

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s extremely dependent on who it is and what it is. if it’s sev he’ll b v supportive but sev is a VERY big exception in most cases also sev rarely gets visibly excited abt things so it’s usually a cause for celebration when he does. if josie (his bff) is excited abt smth? if he can relate he’ll be excited for her but if he can’t he’ll TRY his best but there will be some teasing involved bc that’s how he diffuses confusion. their other bff will get the same treatment but w slightly more effort bc she’s more sensitive but gosh if it’s someone he doesn’t know rlly well he’ll be rlly confused he’ll be like good for u ha?? or someone he knows casually. they’ll get teased so he tries but he also sucks at life. for such a great analyst he’s terrible at being socially delicate

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? tbh prbly actively seek it. he defo pursued sev before they got together

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he doesn’t rlly give a damn abt ppl’s names but if it’s say a piano piece it’s honestly just cold, hard repetition 

What memory do they revisit the most often? he doesn’t reminisce often hes a p go go go type of guy but if he does it’s prbly abt sev. neither of them voice it often but they’re both rlly grateful for the other

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? see, he’s kind of oblivious he doesn’t rlly think abt these things but when something annoys him? oh it annoys him and he’s going to make no effort to hide it or ignore it. so he’s honestly rlly bad at ignoring other ppl’s flaws. he’s a bit of a b like that 

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?very

How do they feel about children? no particular opinion! he’s the younger sib by quite a bit so he’s always been kind of the baby. he thinks kids are fine and he’s actually p good w them but he’d prefer to not babysit or anything like that. there are better more enjoyable things he could be doing w his time. as for having kids he almost never thinks abt that so he’s got no opinion there either. what happens happens after all

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? he doesn’t particularly have One End Goal but he has many aspirations and if he cares abt smth he will do everything in his power to reach it at least within reason. so p badly relatively speaking? 

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? he’s bi so if someone asked him to explain it he’d be like “it means idc what someone’s gender is when it comes to whether i want to fuck or not ;)” yes i hate him too

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?MEME KING but also i’m excited to try and work out the balance between apathy, drive and subtle but very much present care for the ppl around himB) What inspired you to create them?i need a best friend for the main chara of the story benke is a part of! additionally, he shares a lot of character traits w an irl friend of mine so it’s a bit of a nod to themC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope! benke was created for the purpose of filling a role tho honestly he’s spun a wild story for himself somehow looking @ u sevD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?i must admit benke does NOT have a set appearance as of the present. he’s afab nb and does nothing to present as more masculine than he naturally appears. he’s indian, 5′4″ and he’s got short hair w highlights but beyond that i’m still working out his appearance E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?yes on a surface level to both. we’d meme together but at a deeper level we wouldn’t make good close friends. benke’s brand of caring for ppl is nearly opposite to mine and bc we’re already both unconventional in how we show we care abt someone we’d prbly both end up feeling neglected. there’d be a lot of miscommunication and honestly, ya boi would get on my nerves n i’d prbly get on hisF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?TIRED he TIRES me but also a bit of pride bc he’s growinG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?where do i begin. prbly how he’s unintentionally self centered. benke is far from uncaring abt his friends he will do crazy stupid brave things for them if it ever came to that but it’s hard for him to see why some of the things he says hurt other ppl’s feelings esp if they’re diff from him. he’ll be like ?? why u offended i didn’t say anything mean. he’s also RLLY bad at handling serious emotions even when they sometimes do need to be dealth wH) What trait do you admire most?HM prbly his knack for being a great conversationalist. ppl like him even if he isn’t the most popular bc he’s funny and p chill. he doesn’t have too much drama so it’s like hey there’s the meme guy even tho he’s kinda weird and tbh goals. being a good conversationalist can get u places and ease up SO many social situationsI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?PRBLY but also i think he’d do rlly well in a sci fi universe eyes emojiJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?nah not rlly?? not yet at least ! 

[nylenol]

ALL OF THEM. 1-50. GO.

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

yes and no! i value the idea of fate a Lot a lot and idk i believe things happen to certain ppl for a certain reason whether in this life or others so. yeah. i also think that everything i’ve been thru makes me a certain way, and throwing that away to go like,,, possess another body or some shit makes everything not worth. i wish i had better financial status and had more resources at my disposal tho! so if i could change my social/financial standing thatd be hot as fuck

2: What is your full name?sandra whot (thats what i write on my physics tests)

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?im 17 but god knows i still look 12

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?no but ppl ask me if i’ve dyed it bc the natural colors kinda wack! also i spray painted it blue once does that count

5: What’s your eye color?healthy soil mmm wormy

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with iti like my body! i used to not bc shes a little chonky but its okay now^^

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?i really wanna get an industrial/helix piercing in my ear but im scared of piercings djhgggg i used to have those little asian baby hoops that all asian babies have but it got caught in my necklace and started bleeding like fuck when i was little so i was kinda traumatized, dont wear earrings anymore and the hole closed up on one side ; as for tattoos i want one eventually! maybe something small and meaningful on my ankle/wrist or smth

8: What would you say is your best quality?i’m really tolerant of a lotta bs tbh; a lot of times when my friends cant handle a person/situation i still find myself p okay with it and they tell me that so ya!

9: What are you really bad at?oh my god so many : cant dance; cant sing; drawing mediocre; meeting deadlines? whos she! etc etc my work ethic just sux

10: What talent do you wish you had?i wish i could sing well/play an instrument!! love live renewed my love for music a lot and not being able to express that love for music IN music makes me rlly emo

11: Are you nice to everyone?yeah i’d like to think so,, sometimes i shittalk if they like do something Genuinely Morally Wrong like hello but for the most part i think everyones deserving of kindness even if i dont know them that well!

12: What do you think about the most?i spend a lot of time thinking abt the past and what i could have changed and the future and what i could have been and its ugly dont like it but it nags at me!! thanks obama

13: Things you like/dislike about yourselfi like the fact that i have a lot of passion for certain things and dedicate myself to them!! but i dont like the fact that i get demotivated rlly easy and let things pile up after signing up for too many things that i care about; ; ;  then i dont drop these things and end up in a shithole of responsibility like hello o o o o 

14: What is your least favorite word?i dunno! but any word i cant pronounce correctly is my mortal enemy (colosseum)

15: What is your favorite word?idk but i say hello so much ,, about time i start punctuating my sentences with goodbye.

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?i look exactly like my dad but i like my mom more! i wanna be like her, that woman works so hard to keep me and my sister alive hello

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?yeah! but honest to god if the strangers a crusty man then no i aint risking shit

18: A reason you’ve lied to someoneuhh the other day i went out for dim sum w benji and told my mom that only BENJI was buying dim sum but actually he paid for both of us bc im a broke bih (my mom hates owing ppl money) and yeah i feel terrible i dont lie often

19: Are you lying about anything right now?i dont think so ? only person im lying to is myself kek - John 1:14

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?never kissed anyone ! but wheres my milf @ god

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?yes in a way ??? but i think thats a superficial, physical kind of love and the love that matters can only form after like. years of both platonic and romantic bonding

22: Do you believe in soulmates?yes! the definition of a soulmate to me is someone who would fit best for you both romantically and platonically - but while there will always be someone who fits the best, there will always be someone who fits about the same, and someone who fits about the same right under that, etc etc. while we dont end up w/ the OG Soulmate tm in most situations, we do find a variation of them somewhere in the world.

23: Are looks important?a little bit?? but it doesnt matter in the long run, if you love someone then you’ll also grow to love the way they look its a package deal brent

24: Opinion on relationship age differencesi like ppl around my age or maybe a year younger/older but if ur 25 n dating a 35 yo then thats ur business! idc as long as neither party is in their teens and its healthy

25: Would you date someone off the Internet?unless i met them irl? no

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?lol yeah in part, i normally dont cry until i have 6000 different reasons to cry and sufficient hydration (like 3 times a year hello)

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?lol

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?lol

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?yeah! my friends disliked one of my best friends for like a Long time, me n her aren’t close friends anymore bc shes kinda snakey but w/e

30: Have you ever liked your best friend?lol

31: How does someone win your heart?be a good friend! same humor helps a lot, if someone’s aura is comfy for me to be in then hhhello ;; also genuine concern and compassion is my biggest turn on yeet

32: What turns you on?having enough food on me to eat every single period of the day, fruit, vidya games, sleeping,,, when teachers extend deadlines mr. geil i love you ? i lo

33: What turns you off?ketchup poured over fries like hello what is wrong with people.

34: Do you get jealous easily?yes cerritos auto square

35: What is your definition of cheating?cheating (noun) - the conscious pursuit of non-platonic relations with a person other than your significant other

36: Do you forgive betrayal?not really but depends on the situation

37: Have you ever been cheated on?nop i gave someone my hw to copy a few times tho

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?nop but i copy other ppls hw on a daily basis :)

39: How often do you listen to music?24/7 all the time always every waking hour right now immediately at the moment, this bitch DEAD without her earbuds

40: First concert you attendedactual actual concert in a venue was the AX one where Aqours performed!!

41: Last movie you watchedCarol it made me sososoos emo i was watching it on a bus next to a bunch of hetties i was Crying. crying

42: Favorite type of movieromance! and for some reason disaster movies,,, also psychological movies r Really up there

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?hoohooheehee

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?yeah when i need to, its obvious to other ppl tho i think

45: Do you fall in love easily?not really

46: Do you think people say I love you too much?yes and no, it depends on context and frequency

47: What’s your favorite holiday?tet bih

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?im pretty forgiving i think, i wish i wasnt

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?right here in my bed! wish i could sleep forever

50: What’s your “type”?idk if i have a type but ppl are hot and this lesbian is too weak to go on! i like ppl who are kinda similar to me tho: little crazy little wack but ultimately well meaning

[armazeilor]

¬ romance headcanons.

name : Horia nickname : the last time this question came up I went for Lightning Boi and I seriously can’t think of anything funnier gender : male ♂ romantic orientation : ¿ nobody knows ? preferred pet names : to be honest, pet names aren’t really his thing. If there’s any shortened version of the person’s name, he’d prefer to go for that. relationship status : single and technically not allowed to mingle. favorite canon ship : now, I know I haven’t talked about this character’s origins at all, but I’ve actually had this muse for, like...at least 3 years. In the original story that he was a part of, there used to be this dryad/forest nymph character played by a good friend of mine, and she had crazy chemistry with Horia...so they pretty much became our OTP. She was this playful, kinda mysterious girl with little antlers on her head that pranced around his forests barefooted...and yeah, long story short, what we plotted was basically about how he ends up falling for her super hard, and once he realises that, he immediately tries to cut off contact (because losing his power is probably his greatest fear). A lot of angst ensues, as expected. Eheheh- favorite non-canon ship : ahh, I’ve got a few cute little ships in my head, but not really a favourite...? I guess we’ll see... opinion on true love : he does believe in true love, but probably not in the way most people see it. It’s more of a platonic type of love, specifically of the parent-child/mentor-mentee kind. The thing is, he truly cares about his master, and would seriously be willing to give his life for him. That’s about the only love he knows, but their bond is strong enough for him to have no doubts about it being ‘true’. opinion on love at first sight : not a thing. I mean, his first reaction upon seeing anyone new is mostly just ‘get outta my forest’, so...no chance, lol. how ‘romantic’ are they? : surprisingly enough, I could definitely see him being quite romantic. Like, he’s bad at expressing his emotions verbally, but he’d be pretty great at showing affection through his actions. Stuff like him revealing his protective & attentive side, sharing food that he would normally want to keep for himself, going out of his way to make someone their very-own-personal-herb-mix for some kind of special tea...basically a lot of generosity. His insensitive brashness becomes a lot more toned down, though he can get pretty possessive, too... ideal physical traits : he doesn’t really think about this kinda stuff, tbh. If he likes someone, he just does, though he might have a thing for super long hair with a lot of healthy shine. Oh, and big, expressive eyes, no matter which colour. ideal personality traits : honesty, spontaneity, humour, playfulness...and maybe a dash of daredevil tendencies. He also tends to be fascinated by those who can leave him wondering, mostly because he catches himself thinking about them more often. unattractive physical traits: aside from things everyone dislikes such as uncleanliness/bad hygiene, I’d say that he’d be put off by people taller than himself. It makes him feel weird - being over 180cm, he’s kinda used to always being the one gazing down.  ideal date : something like going out during late spring to pick raspberries and stuff...laying in the soft grass on a mountain slope, forests at his back and a great valley stretching out before him. The view, the breeze, the gentle warmth of a setting sun...he could spend the whole night just stargazing. do they have a type? : one thing I noticed is that romantically, he pairs well with the ‘cute’ and sort of light-hearted types; not as much with the super serious or authoritative people, though. average relationship length : idk man preferred non-sexual intimacy : he’d be such a cuddler, omg. What do you expect from someone as touch-starved as a recluse? He only thinks he doesn’t need that stuff because he’s never experienced any of it, but to lay down with someone and just nap would feel like heaven. Watch him lose his cool when someone starts getting real close... commitment level : once he’s invested, it’s 100%...but it’s really hard to get past the stage where he freaks out about catching feelings and his attitude does a total one-eighty. It’s like going from hot to cold in the blink of an eye, and he’s got a lot of spiritual and emotional issues to deal with before he can open up again. opinion on public affection : cute! But nothing raunchy, and it’s only nice when he’s involved, lol. Strangers being all over each other would make him roll his eyes.

Tagged by: @noctispostmortem [ thank you!!! ♡ ] Tagging: @aestuavis, @fleetingechos, @trndly, @romanianwarrior, and you!

[yourfuckingmajesty]

I’m going to do this in a post instead of a video because I don’t like my voice. 

Fiancee tag: @finecallmejane

1. Describe how you met each other.

Well, writing is a thing we both love to do. We both had blogs where we did the writing thing, and we both knew the incomparable @rawwrchie and had written with her. One day, with a newer blog, I followed Care’s blog, we started talking via tags and then via skype on and off. Rach suggested a threeway skype call and we all got closer and had a blast and bing bang boom, here we are.

2. What did you first notice about each other?

I think I first noticed how kind she is. She’s always talking to new people and being so nice to them and asking them about themselves and genuinely caring about the answers. The people around her know how lovely she is and while she has gotten hurt for her kindness, it hasn’t stopped her.

3. Who first asked the other out?

Well.........we kinda started dating before we started dating. Before we admitted our romantic feelings for one another, we were “platonic girlfriends” and I honestly don’t remember who was like “hey this isn’t platonic.” 

4. Where was your first date?

On skype? But our first in-person date was at Circa 22 in Wilmington. We went back there this year too to celebrate our engagement.

5. Who was first to verbally say “I love you”?

Pffff probably Care. 

6. How did your first kiss happen? Who initiated it?

Iirc, it was Care? Oh man my memory stinks. I think she asked for a kiss while we were in Wilmington. 

7. When is your anniversary? 

August 5, 2013.

8. How long have you been together?

Four years and almost two months.

9. What made you realize you were in love with her?

It was never one moment. It was a lot of little moments where she was just unabashedly herself. When she talks about fall, when she embraces the silly things that she loves, when she gets excited about a book she’s reading, when she’s trying to scold our cat and stinks at it. It’s just a collection of things that make a voice go in the back of my head, “Gosh I love her.”

10. Where you friends before you became lovers?

Yup. We were friends while we were really dating, frankly. We chose the date for our anniversary after the fact, because we didn’t have a set date where we started dating. And our friendship is the biggest part of our relationship. We’re best friends first and foremost, fiancees second.

11. Were either of you out before getting with your girlfriend?

I was out, but given that she lived in NC, not so much. Her husband knew (we’re polyam, worry not, he knew), but he didn’t.... know know, you know? Like, he knew in a hypothetical sense. I’d been out since middle school, though.

12. Have either of you dated a girl before getting with your girlfriend or is she your first?

I’d dated several women before, but I was kinda her first (and then....turned out not to be a woman lol)

13. When is your girlfriend’s birthday? Who is older?

September 22nd. Tomorrow! And she’s older by a little under five years.

14. Do you live together?

Give it a few weeks and we will be.

15. Have you met your girlfriend’s parents? If so, what was that like?

I have, twice. She hasn’t met mine yet. I love her mom. She made me cry, but in a good way. Her dad’s nice when he’s on his best behavior. 

16. How many people are in your girlfriend’s family?

Immediate family, three and a half? Mom, Dad, Pants, Pants’ fiancee. 

17. Whose family do you hang out with more?

Well, she hasn’t met mine, so technically hers, but we’ll be across the country from hers in a few weeks, so then it’ll be mine. But we’re gonna call hers all the time!

18. What is a typical date night like for you and your girlfriend?

Netflix and chill. Except chill actually means snuggling and someone falling asleep. #asexualthings

19. How do you usually spend your time together?

Snuggling, watching things together, reading.

20. Have you ever been mistaken for sisters?

Given how far I tower over her and how strikingly different our hair and facial features are? I very highly doubt that (though probably when walking hand-in-hand in Wilmington someone thought it just to avoid the queer thing)

21. Have you ever shared your clothes?

Actually yes! I stole her shorts and she’s worn my shirt.

22. Have you ever experienced any discrimination or prejudice becasue you are a same sex couple?

Not yet, luckily. We surround ourselves with caring friends, and our families are totally cool with it. My mom would certainly rather I hadn’t been guided down a difficult path, but that’s more her anger at society than any real concern towards me. I think most parents want the path of least resistance for their child for many reasons, but she knows how incredibly happy Care (and Sport and Emil) make(s) me, so she’d never choose anything else for me.

23. Does anyone you know disapprove of your relationship?

A friend’s parents would, but no one that actually knows about it. 

24. How much PDA do you do?

A decent amount. We love to hold hands and when sitting together will often snuggle up together, but we don’t kiss a whole lot in public or anything. 

25. Have you ever been on your periods together?

Sometimes! But that’s rare since both of us can be finnicky. 

26. What is your girlfriend’s number labeled as in your cell phone?

The Wife  ♥

28. Do you have any pet names for each other?

She calls me her bee and I use all numbers of pet names: honey, dear, babe, etc. I’ve gotten much better at using pet names during our relationship~

29. Does your girlfriend have any pets?

Well, we share our pets, but hers is Aspen Copper (ginger kitty with a zombie patch)

30. Who is more likely to cook a meal?

Probably me. I love to cook and while she’ll do it, if given the opportunity she’ll usually just eat sandwiches.

31. What is your girlfriend’s favorite food? Least favorite food?

Applesauce probably. And um. Probably anything that gives her heartburn.

32. Who is more likely to cry for no reason?

Care. Though usually that reason is “THAT CAT LOOKS SO HAPPY” 

33. Can your girlfriend play any musical instruments?

I don’t think so? 

34. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite musical artist?

Florence and the Machine.

35. What is your girlfriend’s current favorite song?

She doesn’t really have one? Just a bunch of playlists. (#same)

36. Do you have a couple song?

Kinda sorta? I wanna walk down the aisle to Ruelle’s I Get To Love You

37. Do you have a couple name?

Kat & Care, mostly. If you combined our names it’d sound the same. Kare or Cat.

38. Who is more likely to forget where they put things?

Care.

39. Which side of the bed do you each sleep on?

I sleep on the right facing the bed, Care sleeps on the left.

40. Who hogs the sheets more when sleeping together?

CARE

41. What do you argue/fight about the most?

Someone not taking care of themselves.

42. How do you usually get over a argument/fight?

I don’t say a thing that’s bothering me and then Care asks a few times and then blurting happens.

43. Who is more likely to refuse sex?

#asexual so yeah we don’t really do that

44. What nationality is your girlfriend?

If you hear her talk, she’s Scottish. Otherwise, American.

45. Does your girlfriend play any sports?

She tries to play soccer with the corners of things but just ends up getting bruises.

46. Does your girlfriend root for any sports teams?

Not really, but she’ll be a lowkey Broncos gal soon enough ;)

47. Does your girlfriend have any quirky habits?

Do you HAVE like ten hours to listen?

48. Who takes longer getting ready to go somewhere?

Me, probably, since I wear makeup.

49. Who is more likely to remember an important day (i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc.)?

Both of us, but she’ll remember faster.

50. What is your girlfriend’s eye color?

Brown with pretty speckles.

51. What is your girlfriend’s shoe size?

Child.

52. What is your girlfriend’s dress size?

Perfect.

53. What is your girlfriend’s favorite TV show?

Currently Wynonna Earp probs.

54. What is your girlfriend’s favorite movie?

Uhhhhh. (Care says: “I probably have one but can’t remember?”)

55. What is one item on your girlfriend’s bucket list?

Visit all her friends around the world.

56. Is your girlfriend more likely to save or spend money?

Save, unless there are books.

57. Who squashes the bugs?

Me.

58. Who is your girlfriend’s #1 celebrity crush?

Hozier probs.

59. What is your girlfriend’s favorite color?

Autumn just......all of autumn colors.

60. What is your girlfriend’s middle name?

Marie.

61. Who is more likely to randomly burst out into a song?

Care, but I’ll quickly join in.

62. Who is more likely to randomly start dancing?

Probably me, but that’s just because I stim constantly.

63. Who usually pays when you go out to eat?

It’s been about 50/50 so far.

64. Have you ever taken a vacation together? If so, where to?

Yup. Our first date was technically a vacation together. We went to Wilmington and stayed in a B&B together. The second one was there too, and we stayed in someone’s house.

65. How tall is your girlfriend?

The smolest. 4′11 -ish

66. Is your girlfriend religious at all?

Kinda sorta? Like, she’s agnostic-christian-leaning?

67. Who is more likely to spontaneously be romantic?

Care

68. Whose laugh is cuter?

Absolutely Care’s~

69. Who is the better driver?

Me, but come back to me in a few years when she actually has a license.

70. Who is the better singer?

Me maybe? I dunno. I like listening to her sing along with the radio, but I was in choir?

71. Who is the better dancer?

We’re both white and you can tell. ‘Nuff said.

72. Who is better at math?

We’re both pretty awful at it tbh.

73. Whose handwriting is better?

Hers, hands-down.

74. Who is more likely to sign a card or a note from the both of you?

I’ll get back to you in December when we sign stuff for gifts.

75. Have you ever discussed marriage?

Shit, I’d hope so since we’re getting married next fall.

76. Have you ever discussed having children?

Many many many many times. We’re not sure on numbers yet, but yes, we’re going to start trying after we get married.

77. What is one thing your girlfriend does that you don’t like?

PUTS OTHER PEOPLE BEFORE HERSELF. 

Also all those SANDWICHES. 

78. Is there anything about your girlfriend you think most people don’t know?

She can be hella vindictive. She seems super sweet and kind and lovely - and she IS - but sometimes, she just gets crossed too far and gets really angry.

79. Choose one word to describe your girlfriend. Why that word?

Kind. She goes out of her way to be really sweet to just about everyone - even if she doesn’t really like a person. And she always thinks of others.

80. Pass on one piece of relationship advice.

Communication, communication, communication. Those fights we mentioned? Yeah, they’re always caused by a lack of communication. Every. Single. Time. Please, for all that is holy and good, communicate with your partner if there’s something wrong or if something you’re gonna do is going to affect them in any way. 

[beyondstr8]

1-65 lmao payback

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? I want to get to know her better but she’s got my attention for sure.

2: Have you ever been deeply in love? I always think i am at the time but when we break up im like “wow that was awful i was so blind”

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in? Like... 4 months? Maybe stretch it to 6?

4: Have you ever changed for someone? Not consciously, no.

5: How is your relationship with your ex? Most recent one? Non-existent, by my choice. 

6: Have you ever been cheated on? Not to my knowledge.

7: Have you ever cheated? Absolutely not.

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating? slim chance. actually no.

9: What's the most important part of a relationship? Emotional connection and communication.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? relationships, i cant do flings.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? It’s happened before, but i think its just prolonging the inevitable

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with? without being in a relationship, none.

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship? letting myself get way too attached. that shit hurts. 

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex? Um probably 16-17?

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"? To an extent. If they are both competent and 21 or older, who am I to tell them that’s not love?

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"? You know when you just click with some people? I don’t believe in love, but I believe in knowing when a person in supposed to be in your life at first sight.

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet? Also who am I to tell them that’s not love?? Just make sure they’re real before anything serious.

18: What do you consider a deal breaker? Can’t make me laugh or no sense of humor

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship? When i don’t immediately stop what im doing to respond to their texts

20: Are you currently in a relationship? No

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? You can give it a shot, but it’s rare.

22: Do you think people should date their friends? If their friend feels the same way, just be prepared for nothing to go back to normal if it doesn’t work out.

23: How many relationships have you had? 3 and a half

24: Do you think love can last forever? With a lot of communication and forgiveness and trust, yes.

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things? If you make a great team and work hard

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? I probably should listen to my mom more cause shes always right

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? put up some goddamn walls you idiot!!!

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work? If you can afford to see each other occasionally, yes but it takes a lot of patience and trust.

29: What do you notice first about another person? Smile, eyes, and height

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual? Gay af

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness? No

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Not really, but i have been used idk if that counts

33: Do you want to get married one day? absolutely

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed? Fuck no

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex? I have before

36: Are you still a virgin? No

37: What's more important: Looks or personality? I think once you start to fall for someone’s personality they start to become physically attractive as well.

38: Do you enjoy love films? Romantic comedies are my shit

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses? i’ve given roses but i think only my mom gave me roses

40: Have you ever had a valentine? Once, senior year of high school

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"? That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25 because it’s not too hot and not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"? In middle school i think

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends? They are equally important but if you’re talking shit about my best friend of 7 years and you’ve been in my life for 4 months, you’re out sorry

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"? Yeeessss

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends? could i imagine it? yes but its never gonna happen. but we’re getting married if neither of us are married by 30

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"? i guess

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite? I don’t keep up with celebrities

48: What's your favorite love song? I have so many omg

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart? Not that i can think of

50: If you're single, why do you think you are? I got my own shit to work on

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy? poor and nice

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships? yeah i should probably start taking my own advice tbh

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single? not jealous but i wanna be them

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)? tbh... i dont think any of my relationships have been facebook official but im not against it

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"? for sure. i need attention. but i try not to show it

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship? not to my knowledge

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart? i mean... if you’re married for years and they leave out of the blue i would understand, but it still wouldn’t be worth it.

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship? i can be both, but i prefer dominant

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary? i forgot about my dad’s birthday once 

60: What's your opinion on open relationships? you do you but theyre not my thing

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family? family

62: How do you define "cheating"? having a connection other than platonic while you’re committed to someone else

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate? no?

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated? yes but its also super cute

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"? yes. 100%. 10/10. Gimmie cuddles

[vagarius]

For the fanfiction questions thing: 1, 3, 8, 10, 16, 18, 22, 27, 31, 36, 40, 44, 46, 48, 50 and 51~

!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!!!???!!!!!!!!!

okay now the actual words:

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

[also answered here]

Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus. It still sneaks up and slaps me in the face sometimes. Though I hated the ending of the last book but let’s not go there

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

I mean??? I love the Boueibu fandom, because I feel like I know everyone (even if I don’t know everyone) and it’s nice seeing other people’s fandom things and being like ah, yes, you’re the one who - . And then people recognize you’re own fandom things and you’re just like????? But the fandom also isn’t is-anyone-even-home small *cough* starmyu *cough*.

So yeah I really like the Boueibu fandom kudos to you.

(Also a shout out to the Haikyuu!! fandom for their love of rarepairs. Or maybe that’s just me and who I happen to follow, lol.)

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

What even is… my latest fandom??? The latest fandom I’m actually active in is Boueibu. I actually started watching Boueibu right after watching Hamatora because it was around the time everyone was comparing Kinshirou and Art, so that was like, half of what was making up the Hamatora tag. Then I watched the PV and went hiroshi kamiya and whoa look at that I’m on episode five already where did the time go? (Not even because I’m particularly fond of Hiroshi Kamiya (though I am), but because I’m always oddly proud of myself when I recognize voice actors? Idk why.) I got really into the actual fandom after reading some Enkin fics and also falling in love with the Student Council. The first fic I wrote for the fandom was actually for an exchange.

My latest fandom in general is Mystic Messenger. I’d been seeing stuff pop up for it for a while and then it showed up in my recommended apps on Google Play and I just?? What the hell, why not. Let’s do this. And here I am (though I’ve only finished Yoosung’s route so far ;;;; )

10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Yes, very much yes. I’ve read fic for so many fandoms but have only gotten around to writing for 4 of them (5 if you include PJO but I haven’t written for it since I’ve been on AO3). The ones I can think of now are Daiya No A, Joker Game, All for the Game (book series), Kuroko no Basuke, Prince of Stride, Ao no Exorcist, Oofuri, Tsuritama…

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

From Haikyuu, I’m not the biggest fan of KuroKen and Kenhina (is Kenhina popular? I don’t even know at this point). And… Asanoya, I guess? It’s not that I necessarily dislike these three as much as I’m just meh about them.

There aren’t any ships that I’ve come across that I actually dislike from Boueibu, and the ones I’m meh about aren’t really popular anyway? So.

And Rintori from Free!. Idk why it just never clicked with me??

18. What ship have you written the most about?

Tsukkikage (hq!!), apparently, though I mostly write about platonic relationships, it seems like.

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

[also answered here]

If I posted it, I don’t regret writing it. I might not necessarily like some of my old writing, but I don’t regret it. However, there are some things I’ve written down or typed out and immediately deleted because hell no this will not see the light of day not on my watch why did I even think to put those words together what was I - 

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

[also answered here]

Coming up with titles. I love writing cute little (or heartbreaking) summaries, but titles? No thanks. It’s like I’m pulling words out of a jar, except the jar is locked, poisonous, and on fire. (Though I usually end up liking my titles, anyway.)

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

[also answered here]

Literally anytime?? Someone comments?? I get really jittery and excited because wow someone wanted to say something about what I wrote??

While the last ask has my favorite comment, I’m going to compile some of the nicest things people have said about my writing just because it makes me happy and I can:

“goddd your writing is so beautiful i’m so jealous” - nardaviel

“and your writing is amazing, it does a beautiful job of evoking the quiet that theyre both having to deal with. i think the present tense is part of the effect because it makes it seem less like a recounting of events (which by necessity is an act of communication, and this whole thing is about an inability to communicate) and more like we’re experiencing these things alongside atsushi. but i think there’s more going on than just the choice of tense.. maybe part of it has something to do with all the parentheticals at the ends of scenes…? they seem like quiet little asides, thoughts that don’t make it out into the main narrative the same way thoughts aren’t making it out of atsushi’s head 3 tbh i don’t really know, i’m just thinking aloud because i’m trying to learn from your talent a;ljsd” - @nardaviel

“Your style is so pretty as always, I loved the descriptions and how you portrayed the characters’ thoughts and perceptions of the world around.” - you, actually

“I know that I’m gonna read this many times over in the future…. I need a moment.” - Rudxinna

“Kudos to you for keeping everyone so nicely in character, for fleshing them out so well as they age, and for showing just enough of each scene.” - chromyrose

“I loved this. I cried and laughed while reading it.” - Pechat

“You really have a gift for zeroing on these quiet significant moments.” - odoridango

“How is everything you write so amazing and perfect??” - odoridango [Honestly everything odoridango has ever commented makes my heart soar]

[I am currently basking in happiness. Thank you for giving me the excuse.]

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

[also answered here]

Slice of Life, assuming that counts. I love the atmosphere.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

everything Plot, in general. Trying to connect everything into a coherent storyline. I find it easy with vignettes when you can get away with connecting them with subtleties or repeating lines, but having one event leading into the next without awkward breaks is a struggle. (Which is probably why I mostly stick with oneshots.) I also struggle with writing the beginning. I usually start in the middle of the fic, which will sometimes end up being the beginning anyway, orz.

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

[also answered here]

Just. All the platonic ships. All of them. I love platonic ships so much???? Give me all the friendship I will take it gladly.

From Boueibu, the third year OT4, as well as Kinatsuen and AkoIoRyuu (though I don’t actually ship the latter that much.) I feel like people really like them but there still isn’t that much content for them? though the only romantic ship i’ve really written is enatsu so i shouldn’t be talking

For Haikyuu!!, I’m especially fond of TsukkiKage and KuroKage, so. Also Yachi ships. They are adorable.

For Free!, I still miss reiharu, orz. I should write more for them. Other people should write more for them. More reiharu for the soul. Also Gou/Haru friendship??? It just occurred to me now but more Gou/Haru friendship would be amazing.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

Hmmmm, I’d probably recommend an endless start of april, which is a KuniKage fic from hq summer hols. I really like the atmosphere, and how I formatted the fic. I also managed to stuff karasuno first year friendship in there. But mostly, I had a lot of fun writing it, and I think it shows. I’m overall really proud of it. (I’m also still really fond of fairy lights, lol).

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

I try my best to leave reviews, especially when the fic made me really happy and/or really emotional. A comment can make my day, so I try to leave as many as possible. (Though I am guilty of not following through on this). I try my best to be detailed, but most of the time they end up just being really incoherent, orz.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I think it started when I stumbled across a Lazel (PJO/HoO) fic over google search?? Then I read all the obligatory high school and harry potter AUs for PJO and then the tear jerkers and I was totally hooked?? And of course the first thing I wrote was for a rarepair, lol. After that I really wanted more platonic Jasico content, as well as a Nico-centric AU, so they were some of the first things I wrote about.

When I started really really wanting to write fanfiction, though, was after reading the fic Catch a Falling Star (free fandom come cry with me). It kinda became my fic writer’s dream to write a long one-shot like that (still kind of is, and is probably why I fell in love with long one-shots in the first place), and the imaginary friends concept has always stuck with me. That fic inspired me a lot, along with a few others. I’m still stumbling across fics where I go I want to write something like that, but that was definitely the start of it.

And here I am now, lol.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

[also answered here]

For the other “also answered” ones, I wrote something new(ish, in some cases), but I’m gonna copy paste this one bc I’m not sure what else I want to gush about:

I hate fanfiction’s reputation????? A lot???? Like I’ve seen/read my fair share of horrible fanfiction (have more than likely written some) and, yeah, some of it’s just pointless fluff or smut or the like but???? There’s also some really really really meaningful stuff out there??? And even those that don’t have some life-changing meaning mean a lot regardless - there are fanfics that have lifted my spirits and honest to goodness probably saved me, ones that have made me laugh so ridiculously hard I’ve woken someone up and ones that have made me cry at 3 AM wondering how something this beautiful graced my eyes??? Like???? It might not interest you but give it a chance, or at least keep any trash to yourself (unless it’s like, legitimate trash, but. That’s a very fine line you’re walking. A very fine line.)

And because I don’t want to end on a hateful note:

I love the little communities fanfiction builds???? Especially in smaller fandoms, or in rarepair fandoms (for lack of a better word). I love talking to other writers when I can and seeing how proud they are and getting little comments and I just?? Fanfiction communities are actually great.

And once more for good measure: !?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!!!???!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!

Fanfiction Questions

[spidergwenistrans]

Ok, I’ve seen mention of the Teenager Brain that sets in as part of HRT, but tbh nothing prepared me really for what it’s been. I kinda figured it was gonna be somewhere along the lines of how my first go at it was. I was so wrong.

It kinda first started with my ex over the summer, we spent about 4 days together on/after my cross country road trip, and everything felt normal then, until the morning I was leaving her place to go to camp, which at the time I chalked up to just generally feeling everything a little more than I used to. On my drive back to Ontario though, I started to feel it again, and maybe it was just the beautiful scenery, maybe it was the leaving all my friends from the jamboree, maybe it was the alone time, but I really missed her SO MUCH. I assumed at the time that it was just sort of reliving break up feels, since I figured I kinda left them unprocessed at the time, and now I was dealing with it.

Skip forward to the start of the school year, and most of my lab group from semesters 1 and 2 is back together. At the end of the first week one of the people in my lab group hosted the mixer with the first years in our program. During the party, Sandy, the one I had (let’s be honest, I’m still not over her) a crush on, and I ended up hanging out together/near each other most of the night. This wasn’t even like, a plan or effort on my part, I swear, I kinds just noticed towards the end of the night, that we were practically sitting on top of each other, and our legs were touching and my brain kinda processed it and went, “Oh!” and I was sorta doomed from there. And like, there was nothing especially romantic about what we were doing, or how we were sitting, just comfortable familiarity that comes from being in a patient care lab for 2 semesters already, I would have felt just as comfortable sitting like that with any of the other of my classmates who I’d been in lab with for both semesters already, I doubt I would have noticed the same Feelings though.

As the semester went on, I honestly just kept falling for her harder and harder, she’s one of the smartest and kindest people in my class, and we spent a lot of time together in lab, and then I had the bright idea to offer to pick her up for morning classes most days, which was lovely and amazing and it was so nice to have someone I could talk to about school stuff with in a slightly quieter setting before the day started, even if it was only a short drive from her place to the school.

I kinda promised myself I would either get over it or tell her I had feelings for her by the end of the semester, hoping mostly that I could get over it and move on (that did not work). So after she left the end of semester party (because I am a chicken) I sent her a message and explained I had feelings, but also gave her the out that I would never mention it again if she would prefer. She was very kind and thanked me, but was not interested. I’d like to say I got over it, but like, it still kinda hurts even thinking about it while I type this, sooo. Things haven’t exactly been weird between us, but also we have barely seen any of our class since that party because of the way this semester is mostly practical, I did offer her a ride once to one of our lab classes, but she didn’t see the message until after the class. I did have a birthday party after the first week of the semester, and she was there, and seemed unusually quiet and withdrawn most of the night, and I didn’t really get a chance to talk to her, so it could have been something else? I think my greatest fear around telling someone I have feelings for them is that they don’t return those feelings and then things are weird forever afterwards.

Over the summer I started to kinda maybe have feelings for one of my closest friends, and we had some good chats about how I couldn’t really be sure where the feels were coming from. So much of what we teach boys in this society is that any sort of emotional affection is for immediate family and romantic partners, and no one else. Now, obviously, I’m not a boy, and I didn’t exactly get all the lessons into my head the way society wanted them, but I still got the lessons directed at me (I think I’ll explore that idea in another post and stay on topic here). We’ve always had maybe a slightly more intimate relationship than might be expected, especially in the context of me having presented and believed I was a boy for 24 years, and she fully said she felt like we’d maybe veered towards a less platonic place at some points recently, but we didn’t really address the feelings directly. Later in the summer, I realised it was maybe a little more than a passing crush, and told her as much, which she said she would need time to process, which is totally fair, but then we didn’t touch on it FOR MONTHS.

Sidenote: somewhere in all this mess I realised I was having more than one crush at a time, which was absolutely astounding to me, not to mention that I now had 3 crushes in the span of 3 months, when I’d previously had 3 crushes my whole life before that.

When this friend and I hung out on new years, we cuddled like we usually do, and that was when I found out that the abundance of crush feelings had brought with it a brand new flavour of libido. I’d never before wanted so badly for someone to kiss me. Not even in the 4 years with my ex had I felt this way. Which isn’t to say that I didn’t want it before, or that I didn’t like it, just that now the desire was so much stronger. A day or so later I reminded her of what I’d said in the summer and asked her if she’d processed enough, because I needed to know if we were friends who cuddled or what, and she clarified that she did not feel the same way.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked my ex if we could talk about stuff, since back int he summer when I’d told her I was kinda reliving what felt like every emotion I’d had since the start of puberty, she offered to talk whenever I got to us. Well, at some point I made it to us, and kinda realised no, those weren’t exactly just breakup feels, there were also new crush feels mixed in there. I really tried not to entertain those feels, because I was, and am, pretty sure there’s no chance of us ever getting back together, but the Teenager Brain does as it wants, apparently regardless of my wants.

We had a really good chat about how part of what I was finding hard was that I missed her so much, and she’d been my best friend for 4 years and then disappeared from my life almost entirely. I never had very many close emotional relationships before I came out as trans, and I think a lot of that had to do with bottling stuff up trying to be a boy. It’s not like all of my friendships now are suddenly more deep and emotional, but I don’t feel nearly as panicked by the idea of opening up to someone, and now I have a few, which like, before I usually had none.

I did tell her about the feelings I was having for her and how I’m pretty sure it’s not just like, break up feels or nostalgia for what we had feels, but like fully fresh brand new, I-fell-for-you-on-our-road-trip feels. I’m not sure I communicated that clearly, because it kinda felt like she didn’t exactly get it, but then, I’m not sure I would have before I felt it?

I really wish I could say that I’m over even one of these crushes, but they will not go away, I’ve tried ignoring them, I’ve tried talking about them, neither has helped, and either way I just end up feeling kinda sad. It’s really difficult to harden your heart against someone who’s been nothing but kind and caring to you.

Also, somewhere in the last couple of months, emotions went from what already felt like being turned up to 11, to now being double that? I thought emotions a couple weeks into HRT were stronger, but I still just felt those in my brain really (well and boobs, because I started feeling crying in my boobs then). Now, everything I feel that’s above like 2 in intensity I feel with my whole body, kinda like when a shiver runs up and down your spine, except it’s in my chest and abdomen, and I feel it more noticeably down my sides, but it just goes right down though my torso and then into my toes, good and bad, happy and sad feelings. It’s not that I don’t like this new level of feeling, but lately there seems to be a lot of unhappy feelings to feel and not a lot of happy ones to feel, so it’s a bit overwhelming, especially combined with the ever increasing feeling of needing to be held, which is very much not being fulfilled.

[datingadviceonreddit]

So this is my first proper post on Reddit, so please forgive me for any formatting errors I've made! I'm not the greatest storyteller either, and I'm trying hard to be as descriptive as possible for you guys. Also, this maaay be a bit long so I'm sorry for that too!This post is about my friend, we'll call her Lara, and my developing feelings for her from thousands of miles away. I would greatly appreciate any advice or insight on this from any of you.So we'll start off with some backstory. In April last year, when I was studying in Europe, two of my friends (Luke and Mira) and I met Lara outside a club waiting for a bus back to our dorms on one very fateful night (it literally was, I truly feel like I was destined to meet her, because several things that happened that night were left up to chance, and had things gone even slightly differently, we never would have met.) We found out she was in the same uni as us, as well as the same year. At first my friend Luke told me he was interested in her, so I didn't pay much attention to her that night. The following night, Larry and I met up with her and a friend of her's, and went to a bar. Luke, Lara and I clicked insanely well, and we all knew it. I genuinely thought she was one of the coolest girls I'd ever met. I even told Luke after that night "yo, I don't care if you're gonna make a move or not, but I'm gonna text her, not to make a move myself but because she's a dope ass girl and I wanna be her friend."So I started texting her, and we started talking more often. Within a couple days I found out from her that she had a boyfriend, which I told Luke. But he didn't seem to mind that much, he thought she made a really cool friend too. Over the next two months, Lara and I would begin to get friendlier, meeting up to just hang out and smoke some weed at least once a week, studying together etc, up until my exams ended and I went back to my home in Asia for the summer. I never planned to make a move or pursue her romantically, I hadn't even thought about it because she wasn't single, but I knew we had real chemistry.Over my summer, my plans changed and I ended up having to switch from my college in Europe to one in America. I called Lara to tell her, and she was upset that she wouldn't get to see me, but we vowed to stay in touch. Back at uni we had planned for her, Larry and Mira to come to my home country in 2020, and Lara still expressed that she wanted the trip to happen. Surprisingly, the distance led to us becoming even closer than before. We would send each other memes daily and video call at least once a week, which has remained true from August till this day. We would grow even closer, and start confiding in each other and sharing close secrets and feelings. The more we continued to talk, the more I began to miss her and think about her. I started noticing the subtle cute things she would do, her mannerisms, her dorkiness, her immensely caring and funny self, and really began to fall for her.So this is where my dilemma comes in: she seems to have shown potential signs that she may be mutually interested in me too. I am aware that these may still be friendly gestures, but something about them just seemed slightly different to me. I'll list them out so it's more simple to read:From September to October, she began talking to me about arguments and issues with her boyfriend, and in October she told me that she had broken up with him. On FaceTime with her, she was telling me about how it happened, but also told me that her friends had been telling her to reconsider the relationship because "he was a really nice guy and she'd never find as nice a guy like him anywhere." I told her that that was bullshit and a terrible reason to stay with someone. I said to disregard her friends and do what her heart told her to do, because no matter "there are going to be dozens of guys you meets that are going to be genuinely nice and really care for and about you", to which she replied "like you" and smiled. (BTW, this happened a few days to a couple of weeks before the dream I had).The language she uses with me at times. Around Sep-Oct last year she started calling me "bb" in texts, and at the end of calls she would sometimes say "love you" and I would say it back. And before you say it in the comments, I know girls say "love you" to their close guy friends, I've had some platonic female friends say it to me before. But with Lara it was somehow different. Over time, the "bb" became "bby" and then "baby", and calls went from ending with her saying "love you" to her saying "I love you baby" and blowing me kisses. To my knowledge, she is not really like this with any of her other friends.On my birthday, which was recently, she texted me saying "BAABBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" followed by "Happy happy birthday my love! Miss you and love you so much and hope you have the best day!" inclusive of a lot of heart emojis.Once, when she was on a trip for a sports tournament, at night she was feeling down and asked if I could call her, and asked if I could call immediately when I said I'd call her in a few minutes. When on the phone she told me she just felt upset and wanted someone who wasn't on the trip to talk to and distract her. This was after I had left our university, and she could have spoken to any of her dozen or so friends that night but she called me.I spoke to her regarding some advice recently, and afterwards thanked her and told her that it helped and meant a lot and that I appreciated her. She replied saying of course and that she "only wishes she could do more tbh".I am planning a short multi-city trip around Europe sometime this summer and am hoping to visit Lara's hometown, where she lives outside of uni. When I told her about it, she seemed really excited and happy, saying that waiting to see me in 2020 was too much time. I also asked her if she would want to join me on the trip, to which she said she would love to but first has to hear back from an internship she may have over the summer, to know for sure.More than any of these reasons though, it's the flanter. Whenever we video call, and even through text, our conversations include some flirting in some way or form. I can't recall every example, but once when her phone vibrated while on FT and I asked what that was, she said she was vibrating herself (masturbating) to me. Jokingly, I am aware, but nonetheless. Once when I was licking a joint shut, she said something like "ooh you've got your tongue out for me huh?" to which I said "yeah you like that?" and she replied "yeah I do".However, the biggest example of flanter was recent, and it may have seemed more like a mutual confession than just a joke. She had called me by a nickname, which prompted me to tell her about this nickname another friend had given me, which was 'Father *lastname*'. This is how the dialogue went:L: "No, Father *LN* sounds too holy, your nickname should be Daddy *LN*Me: "Haha ooh, daddy? Are you insinuating something?"L: "I don't know, come find out." (I don't remember if she said "come find out" or "come here and find out")Me: "Well, let me buy this flight ticket first"I just want to know what you guys think, if you think she might like me too or not, what I should/could do and stuff. I do not want long distance at all, having been through it before, and I would much rather keep her as a friend than be her long distance boyfriend. I was thinking of possibly seeing how things develop if I go to see her or vice versa and right now I plan on not saying anything about it, because I don't want to risk the great friendship I have with this girl or the chance of something beautiful developing in some form later on because I wanted to rush things. via /r/dating_advice