#i was literally writing word vomit

[sage-lights]

something... anything... around that amangela merch shoot hug? 👀 -shesmore-shoebill

"Amanda!"

Before she is fully awake and able to register where that voice was coming from, Amanda notices an amorphous mass in a black hoodie barreling towards her. She's knocked back a step when Angela finally collides with her, wrapping her arms around Amanda's waist and squeezing so tight that Amanda's convinced that she might crushed a rib.

"Ugh, it feels like ages since I've seen you," Angela looks up at her and whines, "What took you so long to get here?"

Amanda slowly pulls Angela in closer, reciprocating the hug in an attempt to appear normal and not like she's dying inside. She just hopes Angela isn't able to feel or hear her rapidly beating heart with her face pressed against Amanda's chest.

"There was a crash on the 5 as I was driving over," Amanda half-lies. It was true, there was a three car pile up that slowed Amanda's morning commute, but she could've easily avoided it if she didn't spend so long trying to mentally prepare herself for coming back to work.

Angela huffs, "Well, at least you're here now. You didn't miss to much honestly. We've mostly been messing around while Brennan sets up the cameras."

Amanda doesn't say anything, but thankfully, Angela doesn't acknowledge the strange silence. Instead, she perks up again, "I have so much to update you on between shots. And you've got to tell me about your relaxing week-long vacation up in the Bay!"

Yeah, sure. It was totally relaxing. Not like Amanda decided, on a whim, to drive up north and run away from everything that's haunting her in Los Angeles. (God, does her name have to be so similar to LA? It's like everything is a reminder of her!) Not like Amanda didn't spend the week trying to convince herself this schoolyard crush was embarrassing and forcing herself to get over it. Not like Amanda didn't spend the week building resentment towards her closest friend.

But Amanda looks at her now. The slight crinkle around Angela's eyes and the way her smile shines so bright and genuine. Who is Amanda kidding, she wouldn't be able to stay mad even if her life depended on it.

There, in those two big brown eyes, is where her world began and ended.

"Yeah," Amanda releases herself from the embrace, but still keeps one arm around Angela's shoulders, "I'll tell you all about it."

-----

word count: 400

(for @shesmore-shoebill, hopefully this is disaster!amanda enough for you LOL)

[astagsart]

i just saw someone say that they were upset that days like this is a hopeful song that’s like yay whizzer’s on the way to recovery only to be hit w whizzer’s death, and uhhh exuse me? days like this is six people trying to convince themselves to stay positive while their family member is dying and maybe if they say it enough he could be okay but deep down they can’t deny that he isn’t getting better, it’s not saying he’ll get better, it’s showing the desperation of the loved ones that spirals as things inevitably get worse

[jerreeeeeee]

there's nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy with a platonic relationship being the most intimate and important in someone's life (whether that person is also in a romantic relationship or not). this has been said before but people still treat it like its true. ESPECIALLY that a prioritized platonic relationship belies “codependency” even though no one would bat an eye at the exact same dynamic if it were romantic, because of the idea that a prioritized platonic relationship is somehow immature/unhealthy and something to grow out of/move on from.

the idea that the twins just go, well, you've been the person i felt safest loving and trusting in my entire life, our souls have been bound by fate and magic and our love for one another is one of the strongest bonds in the multiverse, transcending death and unimaginable loss, the motivation behind everything we’ve ever done, but since we're both in romantic relationships now and the story is over, the reasonable and in-character thing to do would be to split up and have separate nuclear families because that's the "healthy thing" (read: expected thing). there's no other form of a domestic happy ending than a marriage and typical nuclear family. you're everything to me, my entire world, my heart, see you later.

ok this got too long i'm putting it under a readmore.

(also why i don't really like the idea that taako adopts angus. "parent" is not the only important, loving role an adult can play in a child's life but people feel that need to shove everything into a nuclear family. also taako has too much going on to be the good parent that angus needs anyway. and magnus and lucretia are right there. but this is another post <- this is actually a fan fiction i’m writing, kind of)

i just find that frankly silly. i truly believe that the twins live together for the rest of their lives and are always each others' most important person (before anyone kills me i do think barry is there too. they also both love him so much. capacity for love INCREASES there’s no need for a replacement or a “moving on” it’s an addition). there's not any reason they wouldn't live together other than that it’s not “normal?” but why would they give a shit about that. their prioritization of one another isn't the unhealthy thing about their relationship. they do have other stuff going on that's actually codependent, but i think they eventually work past it and come to have a healthier (yet no less close) relationship. actually this post was originally just supposed to be about those codependent tendencies but i felt like i needed to compensate by clarifying that there are only a very specific few things abt their dynamic i find unhealthy and that by and large they’re fine, actually.

the main thing is, as is so succinctly put in this post—they aren't able to communicate about big, important decisions. not to say they never communicate about anything, i think they actually do communicate effectively about a lot of things—warning i’m going into a complete tangent here—i see a lot an idea that they’re not siblings who hug or really verbalize affection at all which is crazy to me (<- personal opinion alert) like they’re closed off and distrusting (taako more than lup, but she’s certainly not exempt from their trauma) to other people and the world at large but they have always always been each other’s exception, each other’s utmost safe place, the one person they could be absolutely comfortable around, who they never have to be afraid of. that’s one of the things i find so compelling about them, that they trust each other with their entire selves. they have no reason to ever feel defensive around each other. oh to be known so entirely and intimately and never feel ashamed or afraid of judgement or abandonment. augh. so i do think they hug.

also—i don't think they "don't know how to be a person without each other" like that's certainly not true for lup and i don't really think it's true for taako either. they have their own distinct personalities and identities they just also both inform each others’ lives. they're an integral part of each other's identity the way your family or best friend or partner or most important person in your life is but again i think that's fine.

but back to the topic at hand anyway they DO hide their misgivings from each other when it comes to huge shit with world-changing, life-threatening consequences lol. when it comes to, like, turning herself into a lich, or leaving to recover her dangerous magical artifact, lup feels like she needs to be entirely decisive and confident for taako, and when it comes to his sister turning herself into a lich, or proposing a dangerous magical artifact plan, taako feels like he needs to be unflinchingly supportive and loyal for lup. and those both backfire obviously. because they trust each other so completely that they don't trust each other enough to not trust each other. weird paradox.

but really its not a lack of trust in each other its their own insecurities projected onto each other. lup second guesses herself but feels like she can’t express that uncertainty so she’s alone with her doubts which increases the pressure and stress and creates a feedback loop that only makes her more insecure. and taako feels like he doesn’t have anything to bring to the table other than backing up lup and is afraid doubting her would hurt her which means he never has an opportunity to find out he does actually have good ideas and that lup would listen to him constructively. but it manifests in lup “not trusting taako” to have her back even if she doubts herself and taako “not trusting lup” to take criticism even if his idea is good.

and honestly i think the solution to this just comes with… not being in those lifethreatening situations anymore. the universe was saved and they have normal (magical fantasy world) lives. so now when they’re hiding things from each other the stakes are a lot lower. and when the stakes are lower they’re able to express uncertainty because they don’t feel that extreme and terrifying pressure anymore. lup doesn’t have to make impossible decisions and stick to them despite any doubt because she doesn’t have the survival of entire worlds on her back anymore. taako doesn’t have to always agree with lup and uncritically support her every choice because he’s not the only thing holding her together from oblivion anymore. so they're able to express doubts and nothing falls apart and they're actually stronger for it. and they’re already doing so much work on fixing their relationship just from being separated and kinda grieving for a decade too, so they eventually work past that.

and also because they have to face those insecurities and their consequences. lup got trapped in umbrella limbo for a decade and taako had his life destroyed. if lup had been able to overcome her need to put everything on her shoulders and expressed uncertainty, if taako had been able to overcome his blind loyalty and expressed doubt, would they have gone through with the relics? would they have even gone through with the lich plan? they realize only afterward that they should’ve talked about it, and so they learn from their mistakes.

another tangent—isn’t it so crazy how, by any standard, lup should be the strongwilled, passionate, heroic protagonist and taako her cynical, pragmatic, yet loyal sidekick? and yet he’s the protagonist and she the supporting character in the actual narrative? so subversive and intriguing. i cant believe this was all masterfully and purposefully written. anyway. (<- in the in-universe metanarrative version of the story, lup [and honestly, probably davenport] is the tragic ghost who haunts the narrative and lucretia & barry are the morally gray protagonist foils, and tres horny boys are supporting characters/comic relief who go on to have their own semi-important b-plot arcs that ultimately serve to further the protagonists’ arcs. btw.)

back to the twins. i also think they don't only grow post-canon, i think they grow a LOT during the century, because in the beginning, they're coming from a life where they have been not only the most important people in each other's lives, but the ONLY people in each other's lives. and now they're suddenly faced with more people, which they handle fine individually, more or less—lup is faster to warm up to the others, but even though taako's attitude is very much that he only cares about him and his, he is capable of expanding the people who are "his" (eventually). but they've never had to bring other people into their dynamic with each other before.

i don't think either of them are possessive, their relationship is built on deepest mutual respect and love and trust and "possessiveness" is kinda antithetical to that, but they can both be jealous on occasion. although there is a difference—lup is the only one who will outwardly display jealousy (and maybe a better word than jealousy would be insecurity), again because of the dynamic earlier: taako must always support whatever decisions lup makes without question. so when taako dies one cycle and all of a sudden merle and magnus and everyone else grieve him too, lup feels a sense of ownership over grief (not over taako himself, but over loving taako, just because no one else ever really has before, and she’s never had to think about the possibility that he might love other people too) that she initially may not challenge but does eventually let go of, because it's actually a good thing that other people love him now, and bringing new people into their family doesn’t make their love for each other any less. and taako has a similar experience but tbh i think its a little easier for him bc, like, who wouldn’t love lup, and lup loves other people way more freely than taako does (still not super freely, its a low bar). not that lup thinks taako is unloveable OBVIOUSLY (taako does think he’s unloveable tho) i just think they have different attitudes abt it, like they both have the moments of “but you don’t love them as much as i do!!” which is true, no one loves them as much as they do, but taako’s more willing to let that shit go bc he just doesn’t care as much what the others do as long as they don’t fuckin bother him about it. like lup sees the others equate (as she sees it, but oc they’re not actually grieving At Her) their (comparatively shallow) grief to her world-shattering loss of her best friend, only family, soulmate, silly rabbit, and she gets angry about it, but taako’s reaction is more like, “ok they’re stupid. who cares.” meanwhile and more importantly, all of a sudden lup is falling in love with barry, but taako's not one to throw a fit or demand that he's the only one who can love lup nor the only one lup can love. she’s made her decision. he just gives barry advice and lets it quietly hurt and draws distant, because he has a deep seated fear of abandonment that is now, for the first time, clashing with his unshakable trust in lup. and their relationship irrevocably changes but maybe not for the worse, because taako has, for the first time, doubted lup, a disruption to their typical (codependent) dynamic. but, of course, in the end his fears are unfounded and lup pulls him back in, because their capacity for love increases—of course lup still loves him just as much and yknow what, so does barry, and so does the rest of the crew. so he doubts and fears and is proven wrong. and so they grow and change, and their world increases from two to seven.

but that doubt doesn’t really go away for a long time, exacerbated and strained the more lup keeps secrets (especially with barry) until it reaches a head when lup finally doubts taako and does truly abandon him. but again, of course, never on purpose and never forever, they find their way back to each other despite everything and, again, come away stronger for it. the idea that the twins’ relationship is never as close again after story and song is so fucking tragic and heartrending but really i just think its unrealistic. because the rift between them is what caused their pain in the first place, of course they wouldn’t just shrug and move on. they would do anything for each other, including a lot of difficult emotional work and healing. for a little while they do have to deal with the reality that they’re not as close as they were. but they can be again. it just takes time and effort.

but anyway just to drive my point home—we mostly see taako's side of it since he is the protagonist in the real world narrative, but lup is always, always positioned within that narrative as his most important person. (and even then, lup says as much for taako! she loves barry of course but she loves taako so much he’s her heart!!) when thb see their lives after the hunger in paloma's prophecy, taako sees himself cooking with lup. she's textually representative of healing and joy in his future, and she's the main character present in his epilogue too. she's his greatest loss and his greatest love, positioned in exactly the same place as julia and merle's kids. there are a myriad of love stories going on in balance and a myriad of love stories involving taako that are all beautiful and significant in their own right but i really do think the main one in his life is lup!!

well all that to say they’re my favorite little critters ever and i’m studying them under a microscope forever. how do you end posts

[bedforddanes75]

i think i might just fucking die if i dont post this right now Ok guess what? guess? guess...u wanna guess the colour of my underwear. ok cowboys here wtf ugh anyway dont tell me its bad ill come and get you

[sade-alicious]

im writing a short fanfic rn and i am SO CLOSE to being done i just need to fill in a conversation its so ANNOYINGGGG😭😭

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

Hi how are you? Ask game time!

16, 47, 65 & 93?

:)

Hi anon!! I’m doing wonderfully rn! God bless the end of finals and the upcoming summer break. How are you? (Should you feel comfortable enough to reply, of course! I don’t bite :3) Thank you for giving me a chance to ramble :3 um. 16 got long so it’s at the bottom 🥰

47: how well-decorated is your bedroom?

That depends! If you mean well decorated as in how much decoration, yes, lots! Well as in nice/aesthetic um? I like it, but I know my maximalist style can be a Lot for some people LMAO. I have posters and D&D art everywhere, a rainbow carpet, Christmas lights strung through my bookshelf, knick knacks everywhere, etc.

65: do you have a Signature Outfit™?

Oh yes absolutely. Or at least a signature formula: graphic t-shirt under matching button up, jeans or shorts, maybe a cap or beanie. Here’s my favorite button up and jeans just for sillies :3

93: favorite game?

In an every context possible way (board game vs video game vs ttrpg), D&D, hands fucking down. But in terms of video games, I adore the Mass Effect series. No other video game series has made me cry quite so much. Baldur’s Gate 3 is a close second, though I am still in Act 3.

16: is there anyone you're not biologically related to that you consider "family"?

ABSOLUTELY. In fact, why don’t I tag those of them that exist here as an excuse to be a huge fucking sap about it and so you all can go follow them. (Uh. This gets long, so adding a read more thing. I get sappy after 10 pm oopsies)

While I am no longer in the fandom that brought us all together (nor are most of them), I do have to thank that fandom for being what put us all in one place. One beta reading comment left on a fic inspired me to finally pick up D&D again after years of failed campaigns—and we’ve been going strong near a year and a half now. This D&D group is fucking everything to me. These people have been with my through the lowest points of my life and I owe everything to them. Not only are they all talented in art, writing, poetry, and the many things they do, but they are all absolutely incredible people and the best friends I ever could have asked for. One little comment genuinely changed my life.

@daughterofdrearburh is one of the coolest people in the world. She’s smart as a whip, hilarious as fuck, and one of the kindest hearts I’ve ever met. If you get the chance, you should bug her about her novel (I am the number one Starblossom fan) and about her horse, Ginger, who she has made incredible strides with. I admire her a lot. Also about her homebrew/framkensteined together TTRPG she’s running, because it’s a fucking blast!!

@ninthhousesteel was actually the first of the gang that I was mutuals with!! She’s also incredibly funny (probably the most hilarious person I know, seriously they pop out of fucking nowhere with one liners that’ll leave you in stitches). She’s so fucking smart and doing incredible things in engineering (I may not understand it, but I know they’re going to do great things), as well as being a great artist and wonderful writer. Also? Incredible taste in music, frankly. Another thing to bug them about!

@haaawaiianshirt is like. I don’t even know where to start. The best personality ever. She’s funny, outgoing, unbelievably sweet, with just the right amount of bite! She’s like summertime personified, just warm and the best to be around. You can’t help but smile. Add onto that the most delicious art style and an incredible talent for so many different crafts (ask her about crochet beast!!). They’re going to be famous one day for being behind the set design of all your favorite theme parks and theme park rides.

@candle-lion is so COOL. I genuinely look up to her so so so much. Again with the super funny (literally can’t breathe with this group, you will be in stitches). One of the most talented writers I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, an incredible DM, master at roleplay and making characters you can’t help but fall in love with, as a player or a DM. I admire everything she does in teaching—she is exactly the kind of teacher that our world is in desperate need of. She’s going to change lives, I just know it.

@lavenderlevetan where Emmie is summertime, Eve is autumn. She’s so unbelievably chill, a breath of fresh air to be around, a warm mug of tea of a person, if you catch my drift. She’s so sweet and so smart and sooo wonderful to hang out with, with possibly the most lovely laugh ever. Her writing is immaculate, and god I just LOVE the way she builds characters. You can’t help but be sucked into their inner workings. And yet another incredible artist!!

@suwunnysideup the master storyteller. I have never met someone with such a skill for weaving together stories and characters in such a beautiful web that you can’t help but be starstruck. Seriously, the world building is insane and so in depth, you can see how much they really care. They’re a fucking riot and my best fucking friend. Once again, another insanely talented artist, I need to shake their art like a chew toy. Ask them about carpe diem :3

And last but not least, while not an active PC in our main campaign, the group would not be complete without @avocadosockz . Our resident meme maker, comedian, character arc instigator, beloved guest star NPC, and best audience in the world—while also joining our side campaign as the funniest possible character choice in the world (ask her about Sadie!). Another amazingly supportive person who I appreciate with all of my heart, I love bouncing evil ideas off of her in DMs to enact upon the rest of the party. Excited for our next little scheme >:3

That’s the D&D group covered but I’m not done, if you would believe it. I will take every single chance to be a complete sap about my friends.

More people I met through fandom! I haven’t talked to them as much in recent months, which I’m terribly guilty about, they are all incredible people. @lionydoorin is a wonderful artist and a super sweet person, someone you can always rely on. They’re going to med school and I know they’re going to be fucking amazing in their field. @idyllghost is another rad artist and one of my first really good friends here in Tumblr! He’s so sweet, so funny, and so good at poetry and writing too. An artistic genius in so many ways.

@whiteredrose13 is possibly my oldest internet friend. I think we’re going on?? 5+ years now? Which isn’t much compared to some of y’all, but it’s a lot to me. Rose is one of the kindest, most supportive people in the entire world. She’s so unbelievably patient, listening to me ramble on and on about my D&D campaign and my unfinished writings. Speaking of, because I’m literally surrounded by talent, they are yet another insanely wonderful artist AND writer, with an incredible world and the most lovable OCs ever. Gabe and Ana and their entire family will always live rent free in my brain 🫶

And a special shout-out to the one irl friend who has stuck by me through everything 🫶 Elaina is so kind, so funny, so fucking smart, the best taste in music, one of my favorite people to talk for hours with. I wish we hung out more :,) (Side note, Em I’m realizing the two of you are like two sides of the same coin and would get along so we’ll probably)

If I forgot anyone, know that you are loved in equal measure, I am simply sleepy and functioning on post finals brain fry 🫶

[qbebou]

ok not to be like he’s just like me fr…. but chayanne is just like me fr…..

i’m also the oldest child with one younger sibling who needed a lot more care when we were kids and therefore was deprived of certain needs in favor of my brother. i also had a parent that was missing a lot and depended almost solely on my dad. obviously tallulah needs more help than chay, with her asthma and lesser fighting skills, not to mention she had only been playing minecraft for like a month? or two before wilbur found her. and chay knows that! he knows that she needs more help than he does he knows he’ll do anything for her he knows he has to be the strongest to protect her. my brother and i are only a year apart but i was forced to grow up very very quickly bc i was on my own a lot as a kid while my brother was sick. phil doesn’t worry abt chay when he runs off bc he doesn’t need to, chay can take care of himself. hell, he took care of all the eggs when they first left. but at the same time, it’s comforting to know ur parent is looking out for u even when u don’t need it. phil’s not a smothering parent, he’s attentive, but not smothering. but let’s be real he can also be emotionally constipated LMAO but that leads to situations like the argument and frustration between chay and tallulah when dapper was kidnapped. in his defense, he’s never been a parent before and had 2 children thrust upon him to raise on his own. he didn’t have a lot of time to adjust to parenthood like ppl in real life do, he suddenly had 2 children who had their own thoughts and opinions and emotional needs, he didn’t get the time it takes to LEARN abt how to provide that specific care and while some ppl have that innate knowledge there is a lot of learning and navigating when it comes to emotional vulnerability and regulation esp when it comes to children who are figuring it out as well. i feel for chay when he thinks he needs to be the strongest. i feel for chay when he had to make the decision to gather the eggs and leave. i feel for chay when he had to take blame for bad things happening. and i feel for chay when he realized tallulah doesn’t need him as much anymore. my brother and i are both adults now and we had a …… tumultuous relationship as teenagers for reasons that were both our own and caused by problems outside our control. but i still remember exactly how devastating it was the moment i realized that he was fine on his own. that he didn’t need me anymore. and it caused a rift between us; on my end bc i was frustrated and felt tossed aside and on his end bc he NEEDED to be independent to keep growing. i see so much of myself in chay and i desperately wish he and tallulah had a better mediator for their argument, or at least someone who could truly understand why they were so upset. i don’t think phil clocked that tallulah was so upset and adamant abt looking for dapper bc it was just her dapper and ramon surviving on their own. just bc phil didn’t witness it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and it doesn’t mean that they don’t have a much tighter relationship than they had before purgatory. and when chayanne said everyone was blaming him for the decisions he made phil was quick to tell him that no one was blaming him but also phil doesn’t know that! he doesn’t know if any blame was put on chayanne when it was just the eggs together. chayanne made the decision for the eggs to run and they trusted him bc he’s the oldest and he’s strong and he can be a leader but by running he also put the eggs thru a lot of pain and fear that they may not have gone thru if they stayed with their parents. and even if the eggs didn’t explicitly say that they blamed chayanne im sure he blamed himself for every little thing that went wrong. we’ve already seen him open up a tiny bit abt how he was questioning his decision to leave. but phil told him that chay made the best decision he could have given the information he had at the time which is true! but when ur the oldest and everyone is looking to u, all of the responsibility lies on ur shoulders. chayanne has been carrying SO much weight on his shoulders for so long it breaks my heart.

[lee-hakhyun]

lee hakhyun thinks about his parents.

when he was young, he was asked to draw a picture with the theme of 'family'. at at the time, he had trouble drawing faces. when he tried to think of someone's face, only a blurred face came to mind.

instead of his parents, he drew himself standing under a deep dark sky. when he was asked why,

adding mtl here because my brain MELTED when i saw this scene. oh my godd. moving on

thinking back, it was due to his parents that he first wrote a novel. he asked, what's a novel? his mother told him that it's a story for the sake of world peace. if everyone just reads the story and talks about it, there would be no war or struggles. why? because the story is just fiction. for the world to be peaceful, everyone has to read novels. at first, lee hakhyun didn't understand. but as he grew up, he started to understand. being bullied for not avoiding his less liked friends, and when people talked about his parents,

「"I heard that Hakhyun-ie's parents are weird."」 「"Tsk, parents and child alike."」

people like stories. they exaggerate, distort, and create stories that don't even exist. enjoying watching someone's downfall in front of them. and then they forget about it. maybe that's when he started writing novels. instead of hating others, he'll write a story. he'll write a really interesting story and have the whole world talk about that, instead. that's how he wrote his story. rewriting it over and over again. and at 23, he made his debut.

he remembers the expression they made when they heard of his debut, and wrote his novel. the memory was hazy, but the emotion was vivid.

they looked sad.

lee hakhyun didn't understand. did he write something wrong? did something in the novel make them sad? he was confused, but his parents still hugged him. it's funny, thinking about it now. maybe they were worried about how he would make a living as a pure literature author. due to this, he met ji eunyu and became a web novel author, so maybe his parents' concerns were right.

ji eunyu was a patient and persistent editor. she corrected everything, and immediately pointed out anything strange with the characters. hundreds of manuscripts, and dozens of works overturned. he wrote, and she edited. their works piled up like that.

and one day, a story came to them. at their first success, even the level-headed ji eunyu couldn't hide her excitement. when they began to get paid, they sat side by side and read comments from readers. not all of them were good, of course, but they were in high spirits. maybe he felt the same way as kim dokja when he first became a constellation.

「“Editor-nim. By the way.”」 But why am I thinking about that day's story now. As Ji Eunyu advised, this kind of story can't go on for too long. 「“People keep asking me if I'm Kim Dokja. What do they mean?”」

-

waking up in darkness, lee hakhyun thinks that he had a dream about his parents and ji eunyu. he notices sys asleep next to him, and tries to remember what happened. he entered the dungeon, met shin yoosung, and helped her deal with the ancient nagak. using sentence enhancement to tame the nagak, being 'shin yoosung'... but he can't remember anything past that. a side effect of [incite], maybe? waking up sys, he suddenly feels a chill when he looks at her smiling face. he's confused, but the feeling goes away.

collecting the rewards, he gets the exclusive skill [nagak breathing], which allows him to survive on one breath for up to 30 minutes, and as a bonus for hunting the ancient nagak, he gets a horn that draws in enemies to one place. it's of no use to him, so he plans to give it to sein. his hair care personal scenario is also completed, and he'll get a special reward from swk if he offer the meat to him. swk requests the meat be cooked, and lhh says it'll take a few days.

while he was thinking about how to offer the meat, sys gets up. she thanks him, and he asks if she's going back to the original group. at her hesitant yes, he pushes and asks if that's what she really wants. she flounders a bit, until lhh clearly asks if she wants to join him. she looks down, and says that he doesn't know what kind of person she is. even without [omniscient reader's viewpoint], he could read what was going on her head. he says that he does know what sys is like. the shin yoosung of <kim dokja's company>. he's written, and read, many sentences about her. but.. that wouldn't be fair to her. the one in front of him isn't the 3rd sys, but the 41st. the disaster of floods. who became kim dokja's daughter, reborn as a dokkaebi.

it's all a story that hasn't happened yet. so this shin yoosung in front of him right now, is someone that he doesn't know. so now, he can only promise that he trusts her despite not knowing who she is. and in turn, she trusts him.

"...I think I can trust ahjussi too." [The character 'Shin Yoosung' shows a strong trust toward you.]

she asks about his group, to which he replies that he's a king. and retreats a couple steps, shaking. lhh can tell what the 'king' of the last group was like. he reassures her, which would probably be more persuasive if he didn't have cheon inho's appearance. she joins anyway, and they decide to enter the hidden dungeon. he hadn't seen any kings in the museum nor the nagak dungeon, so they must be in the dungeon.

by the way, this is the 41st turn that wasn't recoded in wos. the 'disaster of floods' who destroyed chronos won't appear, so who will?

entering the 'big dipper' hidden chapter, he thinks of the scene that will show up. the spacious waiting room, and the seven doors at the end of the room, where the star jewels are.

but as he appears in the waiting room, something's different. there's only one door. the scenario has changed.

[iiikaruz]

It’d be like- totally cool and awesome if you could share more ivan headcanons if you have any :]

i hope ur ready for the most random, unorganized hcs on the planet bc WHOO BOY DO I HAVE SOME STUFF TO SAY ABOUT THIS CRINGEFAIL INCEL!!

- tried learning how to do jumpstyle and is actually pretty decent at it, despite his skinny-ass toopthpick legs. also he literally can’t dance in any other way. like, he sucks at anything besides that.

- however, learning that forever ruined his music taste, since he now listens to breakcore and slavic dnb: just the most ear-rupturing, bass boosted music with anime samples

- he was definitely a Creepypasta & Invader Zim kid when he was younger. no questions asked. also he probably had unrestricted internet access as a child and fell upon gore & shock vids.

- furthermore on middle school ivan, he probably wore eyeliner and covered one of his eyes with his bang. he also never grew out of covering his eye with his bangs (i hate/adore his gay-ass bangs so much. maybe they’re the reason why he gets no bitches lmao)

- was raised learning russian by his foster parents and only started learning english when he was 6. (side note: i fucking love his accent it has me thrashing around on the floor)

- his hands are always sweaty but always cold at the same time?? bro is a physical anomaly and gets the worst of both worlds.

- absolutely sucks at eye contact, but not in the usual way. he ends up accidentally staring at people for way too long when they talk to him/when he’s talking. like, straight-up not blinking for a good minute.

- inherited schizophrenia from his clone father. he mostly just deals with paranoia and bouts of depression.

- is unbelievably touch-starved. to the point that if someone even touches his shoulder for more than a second, his brain just explodes and he immediately just crumples up like a piece of paper.

- swears a LOT in russian and in english (get you a man who can do both lol). his favorite insult is just “kill yourself” and other variations. it always works, definitely/s

- he thinks that any advance towards him is either someone making fun of him or that it’s just him reading into it too much it. he physically cant accept the idea of someone being into him.

- is chronically addicted to Monster Energy.

- greasiest hair ever. i just KNOW he probably washes his hair once a week.

- his favorite anime is Serial Experiment Lain (he’s absolutely a lain kinnie and you can pry this hc from my cold dead hands)

- has an incredibly shitty sleep schedule. like, 4 hours AT BEST. this is made from the combination of him having mild insomnia and him being online all the time.

[smashwolfen]

"Heed the Call"

Roughly 1,500 words~

They always heard the call of the pack.

From the first time they awoke in the frigid, snow covered forest, slate fur now white as fresh powder tipped with crimson red, they had heard the call.

Since their young, ghostly existence they learned, that the call of the pack meant you were never alone in this cursed world. The small colonies of Zoura and Zoroark that dot the Icelands of Hisui cry out to each other in the night, when a kill is made, a clanmate is lost, or a human draws near them to drive them out of their newfound home of ice and snow.... They had always heeded the call. And the call had always been answered, no matter how far away one may be from the pack.

From the stories told to them as a small white kit in their new unburdened form, the Zorua and Zororak of Hisui banded together to protect themselves from the humans that lead to their unfortunate frozen fates, for being spiteful tricksters and threatening their lives, when no known fox had slain a human before for unjust reason. Why should they be chased away from a place as harsh and unforgiving as Alabaster when hardly any other souls dare to try and carve out a home here? Why cant they be left alone to merely exist and try to make peace with their own tortured souls? The chilling beasts had learned overtime, that their cries of anguish and spite had struck fear into the beating hearts of the living, to draw them away from their nests and guard their newly reborn kits. So from then on and for many generations, the Zorua and Zoroark have howled out to unite as one, and to chase away those that threaten their kind.

The call meant you were never alone.

They remember tales told to them of a life before this, when Zoroark were not as tightly knit together as they are now amid the snowdrifts. Many born from the life before recall their kind as being nomadic in nature, living solitary lives with only a mate and their young to keep safe, small private packs, only calling to one another in greeting and for warning. Even fewer more who had ventured away from Hisui could tell tales of meeting with those of the living, darkened fur with piecring blue eyes, warm with beating hearts. They had called to them to join them, to say they are welcome and safe, but were not met with a call back. Instead they were met with fear and confusion at their ghastly sight. It has happened enough times to know that the beckon of a Zoroark reborn from pain and agony could not be understood by the ones who have never passed. As the baneful packs wander on amid storms and blizzards, looking for more poor souls like themselves who have been brought back so harshly and abruptly, they call to each other. Piercing cries ringing through the frozen air to lay claim to a new wretched life. To welcome them in their new tounge and greet them as family...

To let them know they are never alone.

As they follow along behind their young charge, a human all the same, but ever so kind and gentle since the moment they met, the moment they joined their meager team, they can still hear the pack, far off and away, even within the realm of Lord Kleavor whose home resides far south of the perilous north they called home. They answer back to let their family know they are safe and well, a common occurence now. Humans always hid away at the cry they emitted, but their small human seemed to had recognized what it is they do, scribbling markings in the leaflets they carried around whenever they did so since the child asked them to join them. The child asked them questions about the Zoroark kind knowing they'd not get a proper answer, merely to talk and gleam any response they could provide, though they did this with any pokemon they had caught. To further "research" and build a better understanding they had said. The child had managed to get some answers on their own, a very clever kit they thought to themselves, though one question they asked recently had stuck in their spectral mind in a peculiar way.

"What do you think happens if there were no other calls back to you? Would there be any more Zoroark or Zoura outside Hisui like you? What would it mean if you were the only one left?"

They never thought about that before, they always heard the pack, how would there be none left? As long as there is suffering and pain brought to their kind as they are driven out of their homelands upon their demise, there is always the deathly call of the packs. Even amid the skies turning red, with raging alphas at every turn, when the gods of time and space themselves return to the earthly coil and threaten all life with destruction, and their charge drives head on to protect the lives off all in Hisui and prevails, even as they stand against a lost God and its delusioned ward as a last stand against all odds. As the evolved beast lashes forward to strike down the satanic being who dares to destroy their human kit, howling its bitter malicious vengeance in the face of the almightys forgotten son....

The cries of the pack can be heard resonating within them, to join their strength together with their lone clanmate, to assure them they are not alone atop that mountain.

As the lands of Hisui are left in a serene peace, with the human kit they had come to love as one of their own, beside what they understand is almighty sinnoh themself, they turn and extend their pokeball. An offer to release them to return to Alabaster with their pack, or to join them and their team in a new time and place, an unknown future for the cursed beast they had come to trust with their life. The choice is obvious to them, they had already been through so much, the pack would understand their choice to remain with the child who took them in when no other Zoroark was ever extended such kindness. Wherever they were to end up, they knew they'd hear the pack.

With one last cry to the wind bidding them farewell, in the distance they respond in turn, knowing their clanmate was not alone and still loved like the pack had loved them.

The next chance they had to call the pack in the new world, it was met with silence.

They knew they were still in Hisui, had been told this was the future and that a handful of pokemon they knew to roam the earth had been lost to the ravages of time, but the silence on the wind after many calls to the wild was deafening. There surely had to be a reply, right? They must have hidden away all this time to keep safe. There was always Zorua and Zororak that were driven to their deaths, this was a fact of their cursed life. Why would there not be a response? Surely there had to be another remaining lost soul now, right?

As the human looked on at them in worry, trying to piece together what was wrong with their corporeal friend, believing they may have made the wrong choice bringing them home to the present day.... a thought stirs in the back of the Zoroarks mind. One last try, a call that would have made the earth tremble and the heavens quake, echoed off the top of the mountain within spear pillar...

One moment....

Another, with baited breath....

Yet in the end, had they stayed there for the rest of eternity, arceus allowing them to...

Nothing would be returned to them, only the wind and their frozen pulse in their ears.

Slowly with realization and certainty in their mind, they began to bear a tearful, but elated smile. The pack was gone, absolutely gone, they knew they'd never hear the call ever again, they were the last snow white Zororark with crimson tipped fur left in the wide world beyond Hisui, and they were ecstatic!! If the human could understand them now in their joy they could see why the silence was the most amazing sound they could ever hear.

They were the last one left, no more Zorua were being reborn, no more Zoroark were fleeing to a fate worse than death itself. They stopped being hated and being hateful in turn.

No more of their kind were dying angry and spiteful, freezing, alone and afraid. The cycle stopped.

The Lone Zoroark couldn't have been so glad in all its second life to be in this moment. It did not care they were the last of its cursed kind. If it meant no more kits were dying and the frozen anger of generations had finally melted away to nothing but warmth and peace....

They would pray to almighty sinnoh to never hear the call ever again.

[sprucestairs]

so uh. Dying in skull caverns earlier turned out to be what finally gave me motivation to write something about my oc 👍 the story is based off me failing at skull caverns um. But it kinda got away from me so I'm just posting this one part now & you guys miiiight get to see more later. Enjoy! Or don't. I'm not a cop.

Shit.

Shit shit shit shit shit.

It wasn't meant to go like this. There were so many little slimes.

Quill was frantically running through options in his mind while trying to avoid getting stuck in the damn things.

Bombs? No space for him to get out of the blast radius.

Go down a level? He couldn't reach the ladder from here. The many tiny enemies were quickly overwhelming him. Frankly, it was astounding they could deal as much damage as they did.

He was exhausted.

He'd woken up early specifically to sneak off to the cavern.

He wanted to get to level thirty, at least. It shouldn't have been that hard, he'd done it before! But he had more healing items then.

...There was something behind him.

It didn't sound like a serpent, and there were no mummies on this floor, so he kept his attention fixed on the horde of slimes. The... the slimes.

There were so many of them a second ago. He dazedly blinked a couple more times, like that would make sense of the situation.

He didn't notice the figure behind him drawing closer. Until a hand fell on his shoulder.

He jumped around, swinging his sword in a wide arc that ended with him falling flat on his ass.

His father's purple eyes peered at Quill from behind his shaded glasses. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. Was he pleased? Disappointed? Amused?

His dad leaned down, offering an arm to help him up.

Quill barely felt like he could stand, he'd spent so much energy fighting monsters. But he was determined to be independent. He could do this. Just tell his body to move. Just move.

He reached up, half-heartedly, to take his father's hand. It took much more effort than he thought it would.

As he stood, he realised he was shaking, like a fawn learning to walk. He didn't know if it was from the adrenaline or exhaustion.

His father murmured something, too quiet for him to make out. He motioned for Quill to move closer, before picking him up. Quill was shocked. If he could, he would have pulled away, insisted that he walk by himself. But right now he couldn't care less.

His father had a few tricks up his sleeve when it came to the cavern. It only took seconds to get out of, when it had taken Quill hours to get as far as he did.

The two were quiet on the trip home. There was no need for words. Not yet, anyway.

[adonis-koo]

Time heals everything so just let it do it’s work. If u can’t stomach the thought of love, then don’t force it. It will come when it’s ready.

Ik it’s sucks to think that maybe he wasn’t as into you as he said, but at least you were honest and loved them to the fullest extent which is really admirable.

And plz give him a side glare upon my behalf whenever u see him at work

my intention has been settled the entire day as ‘it’s okay to grieve what wasn’t meant for me’

i ended up talking to him outside at work yesterday and we talked about how we both felt, how it went down, it was…a very bittersweet feeling, but I understood where he was coming from and why he made his decision, I gave him my few thoughts in relation and spared him all the feelings I’m reconciling now.

we left things on good terms, because even if it wasn’t love, we still cared for one another deeply, and that still meant something.

does it still hurt? it does, but will I be okay eventually? I will, I do firmly believe it. another mantra I’ve been repeating is ‘I will never miss out on what is meant for me’

also I unfortunately don’t have the heart to sideglare him and it’s also no longer possible because yesterday was my last day 🎉 I’m off to get another job working with kids and I’ll be getting my licensing for it.

I’m very excited because this something I’ve been wanting to do for a long while and just didn’t realize there was a niche to get in to start. will it work out? hell if I know, I thought this would work out and it turned into a total dumpster fire 💀

but regardless I’m embracing the journey for what it is. anyways I’m gonna stop using this blog as my journal now, because I’ve accidentally projected on here for two months straight and if you scroll far enough you can watch this train wreck go down in 4K and I’d that isn’t embarrassing then idk what is💀

[st-highwind]

The brain worm is manifesting in a damn critique/wishlist essay I need to be sedated

[crows-home]

about to have one of the most taxing days tomorrow. nevertheless. we persist gamers 💪

[covenofthearticulate]

actually taking breaks from my fic to write these little drabbles has been so helpful oh my god i stepped away for like 2 weeks and just sat down to re-read it and some of the lines are just knocking me the fuck out.

[sunshine-luca]

before

The pilot was as crotchety and as difficult to work with as everyone warned him to be… But Luca fell in love with him anyway.

He’d arrived Heathrow in the early hours of the morning, before the sun had risen into the sky he thought- until he realised it was just the dreary English weather leaving a pall over his jetlagged mood. He trundled out of the airport with his suitcase and straight into a row of gleaming black cars while a guy not much older than himself with blue eyes and a ready smile held his name up on a plaque.

“Seamus, right?” Luca said, squinting into the fog. Fuck, he was tired. He hadn’t managed a wink of sleep on the twenty two plus hour flight over, too anxious, too nervous to be leaving his home and venturing somewhere new. He’d insisted on heading to the UK for his gap year, just like every one of this classmates and well against his father’s advice. Luca couldn’t blame Isaac really. They’d found each other late in life, when Luca was almost fully grown and the surprise of Luca’s parentage had been a shock to them both.

But of all nights Luca had laid awake as a child, wishing his long lost parent would come to rescue him from the depressing hell of the group home, he never expected his biological father would be a military captain, one of the youngest officers to ever to take command of the SSV Berlin.

Nor would Luca have expected his complicated birth story, or the part Isaac’s lover Mason, a secret super-solider of a paramilitary organisation no one had ever heard of to be a part of it. Mason had tracked Luca down and fallen in love with Isaac in the process of reuniting them.

Part of Luca felt bad for leaving the base in Sydney and going half way around the world. He felt bad, but not… wrong. Something was calling him. Something that had made him yearn to see the wilds of Scotland for as long as he could remember. He wondered if it was something to do with his mother, except he didn’t quite have a mother. No one knew who she was, or where she came from, her records expunged from the lab’s logs years before Luca ever ended up in the home. But Luca wondered. He wondered if the pull he felt for a country he had never been to was because of her.

“Rourke, actually,” the man laughed. He didn’t have the thick Scottish brogue Luca had expected. This man sounded almost… American. “I’ll still answer to Seamus but most people call me Rourke.”

Luca tried not to think too hard about that. His brain wasn’t functioning with so little sleep anyway. “Uh. Okay.”

Rourke tilted his head, studying Luca. “You look dead on your feet. Come on, get in the car and I’ll take you back to the estate.” He glanced at the two men Luca hadn’t initially noticed, one big and dark gold, the other pale like the sun. Both in black, both mildly terrifying. They moved away, one sliding into the car, the other keeping watch while Rourke herded Luca into the plush leather seats of the back of the black Audi.

Rourke slid in beside him and the doors slammed. They were soon peeling away from the curb, past the crush of people coming and going from the terminal. Luca tried to answer the few questions Rourke had for him, friendly things, getting to know you things, but he was too tired to stay awake.

He fell asleep before they even hit the highway.

--

The estate was unlike anything Luca had ever seen. It was sprawling and ancient, and more like a compound than what he would have expected from some prissy little country manor. The title of castle that Rourke casually threw around as a moniker was more accurate than Luca realised. The main house was beautiful and old but meticulously maintained. The money it must take to upkeep this estate must be phenomenal but when Rourke started to talk about the private airfield and the collection of planes the O’Riain family held, Luca soon learned that money wasn’t an issue.

When Luca had rebelled against Isaac’s reluctance to allow him to join the estate, Mason had pulled him aside quietly.

“You don’t know what you’ll become a part of, Luc,” Mason said. His green eyes were troubled. “What they do… what they control… It’s not for the faint of heart.”

Luca had scoffed. “Mase, what do you think is going to happen? I just want to work on the planes and see a bit of Scotland while I’m there. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I mean, these guys have their own private collection – and I’ll get a chance to work on all of them. How many people will get to say that? Let alone my age!”

Mason hadn’t said much more. It would have fallen on deaf ears anyway. Luca was determined to go and he was determined to put his degree to good use and get his hands on the private collection of vintage planes and private jets that the eldest O’Riain held dear.

Luca had wondered about him with a bit of apprehension when Isaac had mentioned him in passing. By all accounts, Lt. Blake Ryan was a hardnosed man who didn’t suffer any bullshit. He served with Isaac back in the day and the two had remained friends. Luca had tried to press for details but Isaac had been tight lipped. He was apprehensive about meeting the pilot but reasoned he probably wouldn’t really have all that much to do with him. He’d be in the air, Luca would be on the ground. Maybe one day, Luca might bother to get his flight hours up, but the urgency wasn’t there. He was only twenty one, there was plenty of time for that.

Rourke showed him to his room – more of a suite really – all brocade and gilded gold surfaces, a four poster bed and a view over the estate gardens and the distant rugged highlands in the distance. Luca barely noticed the finer details, kicking off his shoes and falling down face first onto the sheets.

Rourke chuckled from behind him. “Alright, I’ll leave you to get settled then.”

The door closed with a soft snick and then Luca was alone.

--

It took Luca four days to truly overcome his jetlag and make the mental switch from southern hemisphere to northern hemisphere. Everything was back to front – he’d left in the autumn, just as the cool was starting to creep but here there was new life blooming everywhere. Even the weather – foggy and cold and grey in London, was a distant memory in the Scottish countryside.

He started to learn his way around the castle. From the inside, it really did feel like a castle with long dark hallways and flickering lights in the wall sconces. They didn’t flicker because of a naked flame, but more because the wiring in this particular wing was dated back before the war and was sorely in need of an upgrade. Luca didn’t mind it though. Sometimes walking back from the dining room at the front of the sprawling building, he would pad along the marble floors and imagine himself in flowing robes with a circlet of office perched on top of his unruly curls. A silly little fantasy he would had quickly grown out of except that it followed him into his dreams.

And his dreams. He told himself it was the jetlag, but his heart whispered something else.

He dreamed of the Scottish countryside, the windy mores and tight forests. He dreamed of fire pits and the clash of swords, of hands on his skin and long hair the colour of flames. One night he had even dreamed of soft linen, draped over a swollen belly – his swollen belly and woke up in a cold sweat with his heart racing so hard he thought he might vomit.

The pull he thought would ease when he finally touched down in this land didn’t fade. It only grew stronger.

By day five, he felt he had a handle on the time zones and the estate. Rourke was a good guy, and Luca felt an odd kind of kinship with him being another ‘outsider’. Rourke had more of a claim than Luca realised though. He was O’Riain blood too, but like Luca, had grown up away from the centre of the vortex that made him. Rourke introduced him to the staff, showed him around the estate and when Luca finally declared himself ready and able to get to work, Rourke’s private smile had been hard to read.

“I have to warn you, Ryan is… a hard man to get to know.”

Luca shrugged as he climbed into the car beside Rourke. He was dressed to get down to business, overalls and boots, his jewellery left back in his room. The only nod he kept to his individual style was his black painted fingernails. They’d probably get all greased up anyway.

“Everyone keeps telling me. I can’t wait to meet this big, bad scary pilot,” Luca teased. He wasn’t lying, he did want to meet Blake O’Riain, but mostly so he could put a face to the name everyone whispered. Would he look like his sister, the formidable and stunningly beautiful Skye? Luca had been struck speechless when he’d met her briefly in the hallways one morning. Her stilettos were sharp enough to kill someone and they only served to make her already impressive height even more pronounced.

She was incredible.

Or would the pilot be as crotchety as they claimed, middle aged and grumpy, dismissive of the family name and the work his sister did to keep the funds flowing so that he could indulge in his private passion for planes?

Luca was so curious to find out.

The Range Rover bumped along the rocky ground to the airfield. In the distance, the state of the art hangar came into view. Low and squat and gleaming silver, it looked surprising not out of place in the rugged Scottish countryside.

“Wow,” Luca said, eyes wide. “That’s the hangar?”

Rourke’s grin was smug. “It’s one of three. This is the main operational hangar though. The one with the working planes.”

The ones you’ll be expected to maintain, Rourke didn’t say.

There was already a car in place, parked on the far side of the hangar near the secured doors. Rourke pulled the Range Rover up in a crunch of gravel and got out. Luca followed, watched keenly as he did something complicated on the keypad then handed Luca a card of his own.

Rourke’s blue eyes had momentarily lost their warmth. “We don’t fuck around with security.”

Luca thought of the hulking shadows, never too far out of reach, always lurking in the corners of the estate and a shiver ran down his spine. He took the card carefully and slipped the lanyard over his neck before tucking it on the inside of his shirt. “Understood.”

Rourke seemed pleased with that and pushed the door open. It immediately opened into a cavernous space, shiny concrete floors that stretched as far as the eye could see. The entire space was air conditioned and well lit, because fuck, of course it would be. These O’Riain’s wanted for nothing and Luca felt a burst of excitement to know this is where he was going to be working.

At the far end of the space, a walled space jutted out and glass windows showed a figure moving around on the inside. The offices. On the other side of that, more rooms hug the distant walls- more offices, a kitchen and a lounge. Above the offices hugging the domed ceiling was another set of rooms.

Rourke caught the way Luca’s eyes followed the white spiral staircase to the upper level. “That’s Ryan’s space. He doesn’t often come back to the main house.”

“He lives here?”

Rourke shrugged. “When he’s not in the air.”

Luca’s heart fell slightly. If Ryan was as grumpy and as difficult to work with as they all seemed to hint, it might not be much fun having him in such close proximity when he wasn’t flying.

Rourke struck out across the hangar, passing by the belly of the nearest jet. Luca had expected only one to be in the hangar but as they passed, he saw another two beautiful birds standing silent nearby. Holy shit. These were state of the art and costly and only a handful of them existed in the world.

His excitement grew and his brain skipped ahead to the moment when he would be able to call his father and gloat that the planes he was going to be able to work on would look pretty fucking ace on his resume.

They were halfway across the hangar when the office door crashed open and the figure inside strode out. His face was contorted in barely restrained annoyance and even from this distance, Luca could see the same O’Riain shade of blue of his eyes. He wasn’t as old as Luca had expected, mid-thirties with lines around his eyes and mouth that showed a life well lived. His hair didn’t match the reddish tint of his close beard and for a second, Luca’s gaze was stuck on the streak of silver that was just beginning to form at his forehead when it caught the light.

But it was his strong, tattooed hands when he started gesturing that made something hot and tight coil in the centre of his belly.

“Well, it’s about fookin’ time,” Ryan was muttering as he approached. Luca hung back, hiding a little shamefully at Rourke’s back. He wasn’t a tall guy, he was fine boned and small and Rourke was none of those things. It was easy to hide. “I was expectin’ ye hours ago.”

Rourke was unperturbed by Ryan’s apparent temper. “Why? Have you got somewhere you need to be?”

“Aye, as a matter of fact, I do. I need these birds fuelled up and ready to go, and the last fookin’ numpty you left me bolted two days ago without a single fookin’ word.”

“Did you try asking him nicely where he was going?”

Luca tried to hide his snicker at Rourke’s mildly asked question. The smirk on the younger man’s face was unmistakable, and probably really brave from what Luca understood. Ryan stopped in his tracks and levelled a glare at Rourke that was cold enough to rival the arctic.  

“Just because ye’ve got my sister’s ear right now doesn’t mean I cannae make life a living hell for ye too, boyo.” Ryan’s gaze shifted as Luca stepped out from behind Rourke’s shadow. For half a second, he looked like he’d been struck with something – his mouth twisted silently, his eyes widened – barely a flash before he was back to scowling. “And who the fuck is this?”

--

Ryan wasn’t as scary as they let on, providing Luca knew the work.

Which he did.

Rourke had left him in Ryan’s hands and Luca moved fast to familiarize himself with the birds in question, the tools and equipment on display. Normally a pre-flight check like this would take a few hours but Ryan had already made a start on it. Luca liked that. Ryan wasn’t just a pilot, he knew his way around the guts and hearts of the planes too.

There was a lot Luca was surprised to like about Ryan.

At first, Luca kept his distance where he could. He had to. The weird, instant spark of attraction that had flared to life burned steadily in his gut. Ryan looked good. He smelled good. The warmth radiating off him when Luca moved too close felt like the sun and Luca wanted to be Icarus. He found himself listening to every word Ryan said, committing all of it to memory. The timbre of his voice made Luca itch under his skin, the movement of his hands made Luca wonder what it would be like to have those hands on him- And the ink… it was everywhere. Luca shouldn’t have been surprised, knowing Skye’s penchant for art on her body, but Ryan’s made him stare, made him wonder what else he had painted on his skin. Made him wonder if every time Ryan handed him a tool or brushed past him as he climbed into the plane or held his gaze a little longer than necessary – if maybe the same burn was low in Ryan’s gut too.

It was bad, though, wasn’t it? To want a man like Ryan. There were so many reasons why it was a bad idea – but when he went back to the castle and lay in his suite under the canopy of the four poster bed and jerked off to thoughts of the pilot, Luca couldn’t remember what any of them were.