#i was screaming and crying alone everyday

[navysealt4t]

can we please talk more about queer anger. im so fucking sick of being so angry and having no where to put it. im allowed to be fucking angry with the people and society that failed me

[freshmeatz]

fun leech information of the day even if it's too personal I given my heart out on a platter constantly and I just cant bother to care anymore

[sensitivegoblin]

AHG!!!!!!!!!!!

Im screaming until my throat hurts in my mind

[charliedawn]

How would they react if you kissed their scars ?

Vincent had remained with the mask for so long, it had become part of your everyday life.

You had never questioned it...not until you walked into his bedroom one day and found that Vincent had not yet put on his mask.

He hadn't heard you come in—too focused on his latest piece of art.

So, you made sure not to disturb him as you looked at his new 'piece'.

You shivered. You really didn't want to be thinking about the poor guy trapped underneath the wax.

So, you focused back on Vincent instead.

The bad part of his face was not completely facing you, but you could make out the disfigured part he wanted to hide...It broke your heart.

"...Vinny ?"

You called him and Vincent's eyes widened in shock at the sight of you and he hurried to reach for his mask, but you were quicker.

You grabbed the mask and took a couple of steps back.

Vincent didn't understand what you were doing until you placed a soft kiss on the interior of the mask and finally put it back on him.

He let you and his breath hitched as he saw the genuine smile on your face.

"You're very handsome...Don't let the mask fool anyone."

He was stunned.

Truth was, Vincent had worn this mask all his life and had never thought for a second that anyone would call him 'handsome' in his life.

It brought tears to his eyes as he suddenly hugged you and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

His new piece of art left unattended as he asked you to kiss that part of his face again and again...his mask slipping off in the process.

But, he was too happy to care.

Now, Jason is the insecurity boy.

He hates that he's tall, hates his face, hates his clumsiness...

But, whenever he would be with you, his insecurities seemed to wither into nothingness.

He still had problems with leaving the mask behind though. People used to call him awful things and even though he had partially healed with time, the pain was still there.

So, when you walked in when he was getting ready—he almost fell backwards and covered his face with his hands.

"LEAVE ! GET BACK !"

He was afraid and screamed when you tried to touch him—only for you to fight against every single survival instinct in your body and hug him tightly.

"...Ssh...It's alright. You don't need to be afraid. I love you. Your face doesn't change that."

Jason was shocked at your words and he gripped the fabric of your shirt tightly to hide his face and not let you see him cry.

He held you like you were his only lifeline, and maybe you were.

Now, Bo is a whole other story.

He doesn't like physical affection.

But, you still wanted to show him that you loved him.

So, as he was working on a car, you asked for a tool. He was so focused on his task, he absent-mindedly obeyed and just gave you one of his tools to keep you happy—not expecting you to take his hand instead.

You stroked the damage skin on his wrist and looked up at Bo who seemed uncharacteristically quiet, no longer focused on the car.

You then pressed your lips to the scars around his wrists and his eyes followed your movement with baited breath.

He suddenly retrieved his hand, as if burnt by the sensation alone.

"What in the carnation do ya think you're doin' ?!"

But you didn't answer.

You only shook your head and grabbed his arm gently to bring it back to your lips.

You peppered it with kisses and Bo licked his dry lips before smiling and closing the gap between the both of you to kiss your forehead.

"...You' really sumthin', ain't ya sugar ?"

In response, you stuck out your tongue cheekily at him and smiled.

However, you didn't expect it when Bo mimicked you and the tip of your tongue touched his.

You took a step back and flushed red as he tipped his hat at you.

"Well, now that we've shared our DNA, I'll go prepare dinner.", he announced before turning away to leave.

"GROSS, BO !", you finally shouted after him—but a small hidden smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

He laughed.

"Yeh yeh. You'll live."

He then hurried out of the house—ignoring the way you tried to call him back.

His own face felt hot and he hurried outside.

~That was dangerous. He almost lost control.

Brahms loved it when you took care of him, he had found a comfortable daily routine with you.

But, of course...You had to become curious.

You waited until he was asleep before slowly creeping into his bedroom to try to remove his mask.

You smiled as you saw his peaceful sleeping face and couldn't resist laying a kiss on his masked cheek.

You then hesitated about your plan. Would he be mad if you took a quick look ?

However, before you could think about it any further, Brahms grabbed your hand and yanked you forward into his arms.

You let out an undignified surprised yelp.

His breath was shallow and you felt so ashamed of having been caught, but he then quickly whispered in your ear.

"Brahms...Likes Y/N...Don't want them to be...afraid..."

Your heart squeezed as you wrapped your arms around him and smiled.

"Brahms has nothing to be afraid of. Y/N will stay with him. Because Y/N loves Brahms."

Brahms' eyes widened at the use of the l-word and his grip on you tightened as he let you take off the mask.

You were speechless for a second and Brahms thought it was because you were horrified and immediately tried to reach for his mask, but you shook your head and threw his mask away.

"...Pretty.", you muttered and kissed his burnt side with tenderness.

His eyes watered and he held you infinitely closer.

He never wanted to let you go.

His mother had called him pretty only once in his life, and he remembered feeling so much happiness from the word alone.

It made him happy and sad at the same time.

Because, it also reminded him of the burns on his face and the fact that his face would never be the same again.

You would never see how pretty he looked back then. You would never see the face he wanted you to see...But, you still found him pretty.

And that made Brahms feel as if you had sown a part of his heart back into place.

Freddy. Freddy doesn't have insecurities. What he does have however is a painful fear of rejection and a huge ego clashing in an eternal battle for dominance.

His ego as the big scary demon and his fear of who he used to be...

He hates his reflection. He would never admit it to you, but you noticed the way he constantly avoided mirrors.

"...Ain't you gonna try to escape ?", he finally asked one day—hiding the true depth of the reason behind the question.

He wanted you to answer yes, so he could completely be overwhelmed by the demon and be done with it.

Freddy used to be a scrawny little nuisance—just good enough for manual work.

He had never been a great scholar, barely made it to high school.

Freddy—the pushover—that's what people used to call him...Well, until he killed them all.

"Nah. Have you seen me running...?", you answered with a small playful grin...But, it didn't work. He frowned and let out a small huff.

"Come on. Don't go all witty on me. Give me a real answer."

You tilted your head quizzically at him. Why the sudden need for an answer ?

He didn't dare look at you in the eye and that's when you understood. Freddy was doing the most Freddy thing.

He was testing you.

He wanted to know if you really stayed because you liked him, or because he was just another mere distraction.

"I'm telling you that I have no intention to run."

You finally told him the truth and Freddy's eyes widened as he crouched in front of you and stared at you—his claws gleaming in the dark.

"Don't you dare lie to me."

"You don't believe me ?"

"Ya just saying stuff...To make me happy.", he muttered under his breath and you gasped at the accusation. That's when you cupped his face and forced him to look you in the eyes again.

"I would never lie to you."

You then kissed him on the lips and his eyes widened at the unexpected action.

"...Here. Is it enough proof for you ?", you asked with a knowing grin and Freddy felt stunned for a second before he chuckled.

"~Maybe.", he smirked and then pulled you closer to him. "Gonna have to get more proof. Just to be sure."

You snorted.

"~Of course."

"Say Myers...Can I see you without the mask ?"

His...mask ? What a strange request...

Now, why would you ask that ?

He tilted his head at you—pondering.

His confusion must have shown as you answered his silent question.

"Well...Every time I see you without it, Michael takes over and I'd like to see you without it."

Myers didn't move for a second and you thought you had offended him or something...But, he then decided to trust you and removed the mask.

You were immediately drawn to his two green eyes that seemed to be boring into the depth of your very soul.

He was handsome, even though a few scars here and there from years of surviving.

You raised yourself on your tiptoes and you saw the momentary panic in his eyes.

He wanted to look away or hide away from your gaze—but couldn't. He only kept staring while you continued examining his features.

You looked each other in the eyes and then, an inexplicable impulse took over you.

You kissed his chin and smiled when you felt him holding you a little closer than necessary—his eyes squeezing shut.

It felt...good.

His beard tickled your face, but you didn't mind. You giggled and hugged him back.

Myers wouldn't cry, but he did feel the need to talk—him who usually never did.

He opened his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it.

"Well ? Aren't you going to return my kiss ?"

You then tapped the side of your face with a small playful smile and Myers couldn't help but smile back.

However, you didn't expect it when he suddenly leaned forward to kiss you on the lips, securing the back of your head with his large hand.

It made you feel safe for a second before he pulled away—all too soon.

He then put back his mask and even though you couldn't see it, you knew he was smiling underneath.

[kpop---scenarios]

Dark Book Series (2) - Say You Love Me

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader

Warning: Yandere Content, Murder, Mentions of Blood, Stalking etc

Word Count: 4.5k

Taglist: @velvetmoonlght @skittlez-area512 @skzdust @gnabnahcsworld @onlyhyunjin @stephanieeeyang @lostasoulinthedarkness @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @iam-wh0 @skzooluvr @queen-in-the-shadows

@ayyonoona

Felix | Hyunjin | Lee Know | Seungmin | Chan | Changbin | Jeongin | Jisung

“How are things today, Y/N?” Hyunjin asks. You stare down at your twiddling fingers, trying to hold in your tears before you speak. You hated crying in front of your therapist, but lately that seems to be all you ever do, and honestly Hyunjin seemed to be used to it by now. All your sessions seemed to involve you crying over your boyfriend.

“Y/N?” He asks, leaning slightly forward.

You look up, one tear rolling down your cheek. “I'm sorry.” You whisper. “Things are worse…at home. With Jackson. The past week, he's just been ignoring me, straight up walking out of the room if I walk in. Away from me if I try to talk tk him. No matter what I do.” You sigh.

“Mhm, prolonged silent treatment. That is a form of emotional abuse, you know.” Hyunjin murmurs, writing down on his notepad.

“And I honestly don't even know what I did to be given the silent treatment. He won't tell me. But on the brightside, I guess it's better than him screaming at me all day.” You sigh.

“Does he usually? Scream at you, I mean.” Hyunjin asks.

You shrug your shoulders. “Sometimes. If he's had a bad day at work. If I didn't clean the right way, or enough. If I say the wrong thing, or I talk out of turn. If a guy looks at me, talks to me…” You trail off.

“Does he know you see me?” He asks.

“He knows I see someone. If you're asking if he knows you're a man, then no he doesn't. I figured it was an unnecessary fight. I've been through a lot of therapists, and you're the best that I've been too.” You smile.

Hyunjin grins at your words, inside he's bursting with joy. “You know, Y/N. You are allowed to leave that relationship.” He tells you. “In fact, I would insist you do. Your mental health would improve exponentially.”

“I've thought about it. But I don't want to be alone.” You sigh.

You'll never be alone. Not as long as I'm around.

“Sometimes being alone is what heals the heart, and the head.” Hyunjin smiles. “You're stronger than you think.”

“I don't know if I am. What if I never find anyone else?” You groan. “Jackson says he loves me, when he talks to me. And that he does these things to make sure I'm the best version of myself.”

“Do you feel like what he does makes you the best version?” He asks. I can guarantee you don't.

“I feel like I'm losing myself piece by piece everyday.” You whisper.

I can help you heal. I can fix you. All you need is me.

“You need to leave, Y/N. It is in your best interest.” Hyunjin sighs, closing his notebook. “Unfortunately that's all the time we have for today. But I want to see you again in a few days to see where things are at home. Okay? I have Friday at 2pm, 4:30,pm, and 6pm.”

“Yeah, yeah sure.” You sniffle, wiping away your tears. “Let's do 2pm. I'm off work early on fridays.” You say.

I know.

“Friday at two. Okay, I have you down. You've got this, Y/N.” Hyunjin smiles as he watches you stand up, forcing a smile. He wished you weren't leaving to go home to your shitty boyfriend. He watches out the window from his office as you walk down the steps, grabbing his jacket and locking the door to the room he rents inside the building.

Hyunjin keeps a good distance behind you to ensure that you don't notice him behind you. He doesn't need to follow you to find out where you live, he already knows. He just likes to make sure you make it home safely. He's there to protect you, because that's what you need. You need someone to save you, and lucky for you, he was that person.

He smiles as he watches you checking the mailbox in the yard of your little house. He loved the house, but he hated the other occupant that lived there. You had been with Jackson for 3 years, only living together for one, so far but he hoped that it wouldn't be that much longer. The way your sessions were going, and the words Hyunjin was speaking, he was sure you'd leave Jackson in a few months. A couple more sessions, you'd be fully aware of how wrong Jackson was for you, and maybe realize how right Hyunjin was for you.

As you walk in the front door, he wanders around the side of the house, peering in the window to the kitchen and living room. He watches you setting your bag down on the table while Jackson walks into the room. He mutters some words, holding his arms out for a hug, and you nestle right into him. Hyunjin can see you melting into the hug, relishing in the fact that Jackson is now speaking to you again, and now giving you physical touch.

It makes Hyunjin sick.

After an hour, he can't take it anymore. He can't stand to watch you laugh and touch him, while Hyunjin knows it's only a matter of time before you're back in his office, crying because Jackson did something again.

When Friday finally rolled around, Hyunjin made his way to his office around 1:30pm, he sat behind the desk that came with the room as he thought about the first time he had ever seen you, which was now almost two years ago to the date.

**

“Yeah, no, I'll call to set up another appointment.” You say to the receptionist at the therapist's office. He could see the disappointment that was plastered all over your face, the second you walked out of Dr. Parks office. He wasn't surprised, Dr. Park wasn't the best in the business, but Hyunjin could be. Was he a licensed therapist? No. But could he be? Absolutely. He walks over to you, ignoring his name being called to go speak with Dr. Park, and stands by you at the elevator.

“Excuse me.” He smiles. “I couldn't help but notice the disappointment on your face after your session. I'm Dr. Hwang.” He says, holding out his hand. “and I'd love to meet and see if we'd be the right fit?” He smiles.

“Hi. Oh, um sure. Yeah, that'd be great. Dr. Park is good, he's just… um…” you pause.

“He's a friend, but I completely understand what you mean.” Hyunjin laughs. He pats his pockets before looking up at you. “Shoot, I was going to give you a card but it doesn't seem like I have any on me.” He sighs. “If you call me, I can get you in. Do you want to take my number?”

“Yes, please.” You say, pulling out your phone.

“Okay, it's….”

“Thank you so much.” You smile, stepping onto the elevator, slipping your phone back in your pocket. Hyunjin steps on the elevator with you, pretending like he was leaving just like you, and that's the day he had first followed you home. It took him time to find out information about you. He had, too. He had no choice. You didn't call for months. But when you finally did call, he was able to be the perfect therapist for you, as well as the perfect man for you.

**

Hyunjin is brought out of his thoughts, hearing the knocking at the door. “Come in!” He yells, putting his phone to his ear. “I promise, it'll all be okay.” He says, to no one. “I'll see you at your session on Monday, okay?” He says, waving you in, pointing to the couch. “Okay, yes, see you Monday.” He finishes, pretending to hang up the phone.

“Good afternoon, Y/N.” He smiles, opening his notebook.

“Good afternoon!” You say, in a better mood than when you were here a few days ago.

“You seem to be happy.” Hyunjin states, clearing his throat.

“I am! Jackson apologized the evening that I went home on Wednesday.” You sigh. “And since then, everything has been great!”

Hyunjin can feel the rage burning inside of him. “Well, it's only been two days, I wouldn't get your hopes up that things are changing, if I were you.” He says.

You raise your eyebrow at him.

“I just mean, narcissists, emotional abusers, who eventually turn into physical ones, don't change at a snap of a finger. This is a classic manipulation tactic, and he will turn in a split second. I just need you to be prepared.” Hyunjin explains.

“Oh.” You smile. He could tell his words had upset you, and while he didn't want to see you sad, you needed to know that Jackson wasn't going to change, and he'd be irrationally angry at her again, for something she did or didn't do.

“Do you two have plans for the weekend?” Hyunjin asks.

“Jackson wants to go out tomorrow.” You tell him.

Mhm, let me guess, to the club.

“He wants to go to the club with his friends.”

“Are you going to be joining him? It might be good for the two of you to get out together.” Hyunjin suggests.

“I asked if I could. But he said it was a boys' night.”

“Why not have a girls night?” He asks.

I'd love to run into you at the club. Take you home with me, where you'd be safe from him.

“You know what…” You pause, smiling. “That's a good idea. I wanna go to the club and get drunk too.”

“There you go. That's a plan.” Hyunjin laughs.

“Thank you, Dr. Hwang.” You smile. “I'm gonna go plan it now!”

“I told you, Y/N, call me Hyunjin. I hope you have a great time. I'll see you on Monday, at 6pm.” He laughs. The smile you had on your face was etched into his head. Fuck, he couldn't wait to see you on Saturday, even if you didn't know he was there.

**

Saturday night, Hyunjin makes his way to the club, later than anticipated but he was on the way to you regardless. He gets inside the building, the smell of sweat and alcohol surrounded him as he weaves through all the people grinding and drinking who were scattered around. His eyes are scanning the entire place, looking for one person in particular.

And when he finally spots that person, his heart flutters.

You look radiant, wearing your tight black dress, your hair and make up done. You were laughing as you danced with a friend, your own eyes scanning the bar, biting your lip as you looked for someone. Hyunjin sits in a booth, far enough away that you won't see him, but close enough that he can see you. He watches you take shot after shot, enjoying your night out. He enjoyed the fact that Jackson wasn't hovering around you, but it also pissed him off. You were currently in such a vulnerable state, anyone could take you away from him. In a split second things can change, and Hyunjin desperately wants to be that change. He wants to take you away from all the bad things in the world, especially Jackson.

He slowly sips his drink as he watches you stumbling around the dance floor. Jackson walks up to you, looking less than impressed by you. Hyunjin can see Jackson yelling at you as you sway, trying to pay attention but struggling. You look so unaffected by Jackson’s words, it was almost like you had just blocked him out instead of listening to him. He tells you to fuck off, before storming off, leaving you there alone.

Now. This was Hyunjin's chance. He finishes his drink, casually walking up to you, ignoring the many attempts of other women trying to get his attention. He was happily taken by you and would never stray.

“Y/N?” He whispers into your ear from behind you.

You spin around, trying to focus your eyes.

“Hyunjin?” You ask, squinting, moving your face closer to his.

“Hi.” He laughs. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fuuucking grand.” You slur, tripping over nothing.

“Woah, there.” Hyunjin laughs, grabbing onto you.

Your skin is so soft. So beautiful.

“Should I take you home?” He asks.

“N-no… my friend… is right there.” You hiccup, pointing behind Hyunjin. He glances behind him, seeing an angry looking girl coming towards them.

You turn around, waving to your friend. “Hey!” When you turn around again, Hyunjin is gone. “He…was just…here?” You mumble, completely forgetting you had seen him, moving on with your night.

**

“So, Y/N.” Hyunjin starts, just after you sit down on the couch across from him. “How was your girls' night?” He asks.

“It was a lot of fun! We ended up mixing our girls night with the guys night. It was a great time.” You smile.

“So no issues between you and Jackson, then?” He asks. He was confused. He saw Jackson yelling at you. There was no way the two of you were fine.

“I mean, there was a small one…” You trail off. “He got mad at me for drinking too much. In his words, I was blacked out.” You sigh. “I don't think I did. I remember everything.” You say, shrugging your shoulders. “Speaking of remembering, were you there?” You whisper.

“Where?” Hyunjin asks, acting surprised. “At the club?”

You nod your head, biting your lip.

You're making me want to take you right on this couch. Stop teasing me, Y/N.

“No, No.” He laughs. “The club isn't so much my scene.”

“I swear I thought you were.” You laugh. “Maybe I was drunk.” You whisper.

“So are things tense between you and Jackson?” He asks.

You shake your head. “Oh no. We actually worked It out quite maturely.” You grin. “No yelling, no name calling. It was different. But it was so nice.”

“Well, that's great.” Hyunjin mumbles. He was annoyed now. He needed to keep planting the seed of you leaving him into your head, how the fuck is he supposed to do that if the two of you are getting along?

Hyunjin glances at his phone, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Everything okay?” You ask him.

“Uh, yeah. Just another patient. Do you mind if we end the session a few minutes early? I'm very sorry. She's very troubled.” Hyunjin explains.

“No problem! I'll see you on Wednesday.” You smile.

Yes, yes you will.

He watches you leave the room, closing the door behind you. He swipes the call on his phone, answering it. “What?” He snaps. “I told you never to bother me, Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings.” He spits.

“I know babe, I'm sorry.” His girlfriend whispers. “I just wanted to ask if you were going to be home for dinner.” She murmurs.

“Yeah, I'll be there soon. Just have to make a call. Sorry.” He sighs, hanging up the phone. He liked his girlfriend, sort of. She was someone who reminded him of you. That's the only reason he was with her. She was the closest version of you he could find, until he can have the real thing.

You.

Hyunjin opens his notebook that he uses for sessions that happened to be only filled with information about you. He flips to the page he needs, pulling out his phone to dial a number.

“Hello?” A voice on the other end answers.

“Hey… um is Y/N there?” Hyunjin asks.

“What?” The voice asks. “Who is this?”

“My name is, um, Paul. I met Y/N at the club on Saturday. I must have misdialed the number. My apologies.” Hyunjin says, a giant smile plastered on his face.

“Are you talking about L/N Y/N?” The person asks.

“Yeah? Who is this?” Hyunjin asks, matching the same concerned tone of voice.

“I'm her fucking boyfriend. Or I was.” He snaps, hanging up the phone.

Hyunjin slides the phone into his pocket before he gathers his belongings, heading home to someone like you.

One day it will be you.

On his way home that night, Hyunjin took a small detour to your house. He just wanted to see if his plan to bring you and Jackson further apart was working. He crept around the front of the house, going to one of his two usual windows. He peers in the living room and kitchen window, seeing Jackson screaming at you as you cry, trying to calm him down. He wouldn't even let you touch him. Hyunjin would never do that to you. He would never make you cry like that.

When Wednesday finally rolled around, Hyunjin was like a child waiting for Christmas. He was anxiously waiting for you to come into his office and tell him about the last few days. He had a very good feeling he knew what you were gonna say, but he needed to hear the words come out of your mouth. His eyes were glued to the doorknob, waiting for it to turn. And when it does, he puts on his professional face, waiting for you to come in. And when you do, you look distraught. Your face was red and puffy from crying, your lips were quivering as you shuffled towards the couch. Sitting down without saying a word.

“What's wrong, Y/N?” He asks.

Come on, Y/N, say it.

“It's just… I… um… oh god.” You sniffle.

Come on, baby.

“Take your time. Take a breath.” Hyunjin urges.

“I think… I'm going to break up with Jackson.” You whisper.

That's a good girl.

“Oh?” He says, acting surprised. “I thought things were okay with you both?”

“They were. But then he started accusing me of cheating on him!” You yell. “He said he got a call from some guy named Paul! I've never even met any Paul's in my life!”

“I'm so sorry, Y/N.” Hyunjin sighs. “You know, often when a partner accuses his or her spouse of cheating, they're projecting onto them what they're actually doing.”

“You think Jackson is cheating on me?” You cry.

“I'm sorry to say, it sounds like it.” Hyunjin tells you.

“Yeah I think I'm done. He's been so mean to me the last few days. I'm just heartbroken.

I'm not.

“I think that's your best decision, Y/N. You need to free yourself from the toxicity. Leave yourself open to what the universe has to offer you.” He says.

“I think the universe is telling me that I deserve no one.” You sniffle.

“Nothing, and no one is off limits to you, Y/N. You deserve the world and out there is a man who is waiting and willing to give it all to you.”

It's me. I'm that man.

“Maybe you're right. So you think I should leave him?” You ask, needing the extra push.

You should have left him the second you met me.

“Yes, I really do.” Hyunjin says.

“Okay.” You breathe. “I'm gonna do it today.”

God, I knew you were such a good fucking girl. That's my girl.

“I'll see you on Friday, okay?” He smiles. He hated that your sessions were only an hour. Most of the time he barely heard a word that came from your mouth, he was too busy admiring you and how absolutely perfect you were. You drove him crazy and you didn't even know it. He wanted to hug you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear to make you feel better but you weren't his yet. He was so close to having you, and he could stop imagining all the things he wanted to know.

**

This was it. This was the moment he had been working towards for a year. The moment you were going to come in and tell him you ended things with Jackson, and then the second part of his plan would be able to begin.

You walked into his office looking like a ray of sunshine, as beautiful as ever.

“Good afternoon, Y/N.” Hyunjin grins. Nothing could ruin his mood.

“Good afternoon!” You say, happily.

“So.” He begins. “How did the break up go?”

“Well… Um… it didn't exactly happen.” You murmur.

Rage. Pure fucking rage.

“What do you mean?” He asks, his teeth gritted together.

“I told Jackson I wanted to break up. But he begged and pleaded for me to work things out with him. He promised he would get help. He actually suggested we move.” You smile. “So this weekend we're going to pack up the house and move about 12 hours away.”

The hell you fucking are.

“I don't think that's a good idea.” Hyunjin says.

“I just came today to thank you for everything over this past year. You've truly been a lifesaver.” You admit.

I'm about to be a life taker now.

“Well, I wish you all the best, Y/N.” Hyunjin says. You smile at him, getting up from the couch and leaving. If you thought this was the last you were seeing of him today, you were sorely mistaken. You didn't want to listen to him, now he had to take matters into his own hands. He took what he needed, leaving the rest. He no longer needed this room. He went straight to his apartment, his entire body fueling with nothing but pure fucking rage.

“Hi baby, you're home early.” His girlfriend smiles.

Fuck you. I don't need you anymore.

He walked up to her, pulling her in for a passionate kiss, guiding the two of them to the bedroom. He pushed her down on the bed, climbing up to hover over her giggling frame. He straddles her, gently caressing her face.

“I'm so sorry.” He whispers.

“For what?” She asks.

“I don't need you anymore.” He smiles. He takes both his hands, wrapping them around her neck, using all his strength to apply pressure. She trashes beneath him, clawing at him to let go of her throat and let her breath. But he can't do that. Not until he's done. He watches her eyes, relishing in the view of life slowly leaving her body as she slowly stops fighting him until she lays there, lifeless.

Hyunjin lets out a deep breath, admiring his handiwork for just a second. He had one other person to go see now, and he hoped to god that you would be there to witness it.

Hyunjin stood outside your house. Some of the lights were off, and the house was relatively quiet. He knew you never locked your back door, it was a bad habit you had. He'd have to retrain you. As quietly as he could, he opened the door, leaving it open. He crept through the back house, making his way to the kitchen, where he saw Jackson packing things up. You must be packing somewhere else or gone to bed early. Hyunjin grips the knife in his hand, peering around the corner. He needed to wait for Jackson to be facing away from where he stood. The element of surprise gave him an even bigger adrenaline rush than if he was to just attack. So he waited. He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until it was late, and he hadn't seen you in a while. He assumed you had gone to bed, leaving Jackson alone to finish packing up the kitchen. Hyunjin slowly emerged from the shadows, tiptoeing towards the man who faced away from him. As he gets closer, he rushes towards Jackson, knife first, plunging it deep into his back.

Jackson lets out a loud yelp, as Hyunjin pushes it into him deeper. “Fuck!” Jackson screams. Hyunjin pushes him down to the floor, stabbing him over and over again, his blood splattering from his body. Jackson didn't even try and fight him back, it was almost as though he just accepted his fate and imminent death. He couldn't stop, he had so much pent up rage for Jackson, he continued stabbing Jackson’s already lifeless body, until he felt like he could be done. He stands up, breathing heavily, pushing his hair back with his hand covered in blood.

Now there was nothing that could get in his way of being with you. He walks towards the bedroom, knife in hand. You were sleeping so peacefully, completely unaware of what Hyunjin had just done to your boyfriend.

He moves the chair in your room closer to your side of the bed. He sits down, slouching in the chair twiddling the knife between his fingers as he watches you sleep. You must be having a bad dream. He watches as you toss and turn in the bed, murmuring random words, your face full of panic. He just wants to ease your troubles and your worries.

It took you a while, but you shoot up in bed, gasping for air, clutching your chest as it heaves while you try to take deep breaths to calm yourself down.

“Jac…” You begin, clearing your throat. “Jackson.” You call out. Even in the dark Hyunjin can see the tears spilling from your eyes.

“Jackson!” You call out again, after receiving no answer.

“He's not available at the moment.” Hyunjin murmurs. Your eyes go wide as you turn your head, seeing Hyunjin sitting in your room.

“What are you doing here?” You whisper.

“I came here and did what you weren't strong enough to do.” Hyunjin says. “I took care of your problem. I did what you couldn't do.”

“What do you mean?” You gasp. “What problem?”

“Jackson!” Hyunjin snaps. “You were doing so well following my directions, and then you decided to stay with him. Why would you do that?”

“What?” You ask. You were having a hard time trying to wrap your brain around what he was saying.

“If you had broken up with him, none of this would have ever happened.” Hyunjin says. “You wouldn't have made me do what I did.”

“What did you do to him?” You ask him.

“It doesn't matter. What matters is that you and I can finally be together.” Hyunjin smiles, standing up from the chair. He walks up to you, sitting on the bed beside you. “Nothing can come in between us now.” He whispers, gently caressing your face. He leans in, closing his eyes, so close to pressing his lips to yours.

But you pull away from him, you look disgusted. “Please just go, Hyunjin. Please.” You cry.

“I can't! It's you and me against the world, now.” He whispers.

“I don't want to hurt you. But if you fight me, I just might have too.” Hyunjin whispers, wiping away your tears. “Do you understand?” He asks, placing the knife between the two of you. “I love you.”

You glance down, nodding your head.

“Say it back!” He snaps. “Say you love me. Is it that hard? I just need you to say you love me.”

You look down at the knife covered in blood, panic setting in. “I… I love you.” You whisper. It was like music to his ears. He had yearned to hear you finally say that to him. He strokes your cheek with his thumb.

“That's a good girl.”

[angelique-isawineglass]

𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲

(Lady Alcina Dimitrescu x F!Reader) [Lady Dimitrescu comforts Headmaiden!Reader during a stressful breakdown] ~Anxiety attacks/Hurt/Sad themes/Dissociating/If you are sensitive to or gain anxiety/mental breakdowns when connecting with online bad scenarios, please leave, I know they can be upsetting as hell and annoying to deal with. Please don't be afraid to cry if you need to, just promise you won't do it alone <3, love you all :3 ~ ~Little use of Y/N, grammar may be poor, misspellings probably frequant, Reader is over 30 (roughly 36-38), Reader overworks when stressed~ ~SFW~ ~ ~

Keeping more then 50 maids in line was hard. Not impossible, especially when you're as stern and strong as yourself. ... At least that's what you try to tell yourself. You love working for The Countess of Castle Dimitrescu after serving for years and years, but occasionally, some days just become a little bit too much. Today just happened to be one of those days.

Currently, you were cleaning windows in The Lady's private chambers, thoughts dancing about in your mind. This week had been full to the brim with bloody messes, incompetent maids and idiot moroaică managing to bust down the diningroom door, however the hell they manage to do it without being sliced to ribbons by The Mistress was anyones guess.

You had somehow managed to slip out of focus for a moment as the screams of what sounded like a male from the dungeon rung through the castle. Considering how long you had worked in Castle Dimitrescu for, the screams of maids and occasional hunters always managed to make you shudder. You didn't think you'd ever get used to it.

Unfortunately, thinking about what the daughters of The Lady were doing to whatever daft minded gentlemen attempting a break in at this time of year was being put through, did nothing for the bubbling anxiety creeping its way up your chest. You knew several of the people who had endured the wrath of Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters, however, you never really had too much of a relationship with any of them. You preferred to keep to yourself whenever you weren't handing out tasks and intructing newer maids of what to do. Still, the screams that echo through the kitchen everyday were less then appealing.

The more your mind wandered the more distracted you became. You went from wiping down windows to staring over the terrace. The longer you stood there thinking about your week, the more frustrated and upset you became. A million questions running wild in your head, What on earth had Ingrid been thinking? Sneaking into Miss Bela's chambers after forgetting to wash the girl's sheets. Why were the moroaică being so disruptive and- and loud?? The moroaică is one thing, the maids another, but also the thought of this repeating process; waking up, more dead maids, more new maids, more girls to train, repeat. It was stressful, and you were getting tired of not taking the breaks you were being offered every so often. But what were you meant to do? Maids don't train themselves, unless The Lady would control her daughters before they kill every last maid in one day.

Of course, you had nothing against The Lady or her daughters, you adored the 3 girls as if they were your own children, but seeing as you had been taking care of all of them for over 15 years, that was probably expected. You read to Daniela often, helped Cassandra keep things organised in the armory, and spoke with Bela whenever she was hovering around the kitchen. You really just loved to spend time with the girls whenever you could. The Lady had taken a liking to you over the years as well. You would normally sit down for tea or wine after a days work to talk with her whenever she was free, and even paused your work whenever you crossed paths in the hallways. However, as of late, you had been distancing yourself, and The Lady definitely noticed.

By now, your hands were trembling, but you snapped out of your thoughts and kept doing your chores anyways, trying to ignore the fact that you were close to spilling frustrated waterfalls. You didn't know what you were specifically upset about so why were you panicking? You can't be the person who helps take care of the entire Castle if you can't place what you're even upset about. Too busy drowning in your thoughts, you hadn't heard the chamber door swinging open, or the clicking of heels that followed.

The groan you let out was muffled as you lifted your apron up to wipe your face of the few tears that had managed to pass the dam currently built behind your eyelids. Your hands covered your face, shielding whatever was outside the window from seeing your annoyance. , , My dear, is something the matter?" The all too familiar voice snapped you out of the current state you were in.

You immediately whipped around, drying your face in the process before mumbling out an apology, not bringing yourself to meet The Countess's gaze.

, , I apololgize M'Lady, I didn't know you'd be done working so early." , , Look at me when you speak, draga." Alcina's voice was stern, but not to the point that it made her sound upset. More, concerned?

Reluctantly, your eyes trailed up her dress until you met Alcina's eyes. Upon noticing your tear streaked cheeks, The Countess's eyebrows furrowed. She took only a step foward before bending down to meet your height, her hand raising to your face as she took your chin in her hold.

, , Now. Tell me what bothers you, darling, your face is red."

Her eyes definitely showed concern, as this had been the first time in a while that she had seen you in such a weak and vulnerable state. At this moment, you would give anything to just spill out all your problems, but you passed that thought off, still wanting to avoid Lady Dimitrescu in any way.

, , It's nothing that should concern you, M'Lady. I don't want to put anything else on your plate." Just as you were about to ask to leave, you were pulled by your wrist towards The Countess.

Your breath hitched in your throat as she led you to the couch next to the window, sitting down before she lifts you up onto her lap. From the angle you were sitting at, you could see yourself in the vanity mirror. Of course, Alcina was right, your face was red.

, , M'Lady—"

, , Draga mea, how long until you stop avoiding me and my daughters?" She too, was looking at your reflection in the vanity mirror.

You opened your mouth to speak, but truthfully, you didn't really know what to say.

, , What's going on in that pretty little head of yours that's made you so distant, hm? Don't think I hadn't noticed it all when I saw you trying to evade Daniela the other day. I hope you don't think that just because your one of my most trusted maids, you have the right to keep things from me. You live in my home, therefore anything that happens with you—" She points to your chest, of which was rising up and down a lot quicker then before. , , -Is my concern whether you think it is or not." The Mistress looked deeply into the reflection of your eyes, as if trying to search for an answer. This woman always had a way with words that confused you just as much as it comforted you. Alcina had been so caring and sweet to you in the past, (thanks to the little amount of mess ups you made compared to the women who had been brought to The Castle along side yourself all those years ago) on your journey here in Castle Dimitrescu, she had managed to break down a lot of your mental shields, the shields that kept prying eyes at bay.

Your foot started to bounce nervously up and down and with a hesitant sigh, you started to rant about all the problems on your mind. How you thought that maybe you weren't working enough, and that you didn't deserve all the time you get to spend with the Dimitrescu's. Tears eventually broke out as you continued to lay all your troubles out in front of you. Alcina just sat and listened to you, rubbing your arm with her thumb and nodding understandably every now and then, not that you could see yourself or her anymore, Alcina had pulled you into her chest when you started to cry. By the time you had stopped rambling, your eyelashes were wet with tears, and your eyes were puffy and red.

, , Sweetheart, if a maid isn't doing their job correctly then you should be telling me, so that I can deal with it." She brings her hand up to your face, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. , , As for how much you work, I think the fact that you have been serving this Castle much longer then any other maid could survive here for is proof enough of your worth for me and my daughters. Besides, we don't care what you're worth. Do you enjoy my daughters company?" You nod slowly, leaning into The Countess's hand. , , I enjoy every second of my time with the girls. They're angels, if you wipe off the blood on their faces. I just- I just think that perhaps I dont do enough to earn their—." You're silenced when a leather gloved finger is pressed softly to your lips.

, , You're overthinking. Darling, my girls could very well see you as a second mother, they adore you just as much as I do, and I don't think I see them as happy as they are when you're around them. When you're stuck in a Castle for as long as you can remember, you start to get bored, draga. And don't you dare go forgetting that. You treat my girls as if their human beings, not some psycho witches that hunt and kill for a living. I've seen the way you look at them, you love them, you know you do. And they love you too. Now what makes it so hard to see that?"

A second mother? Well yes you treat them as your own sometimes, but you never wanted to say outloud that you loved them in that way, in case of what The Mistress might think. But now that you're hearing her say it, it all feels like a dream. You would do anything to protect Alcina's daughters. You never had interest in having children, but you always had a maternal instict when you came to know the Dimitrescu daughters.

, , You're stressed, draga mea. I hate seeing you that way." , , I'm- I'm sorry, I just— This week has been so rough, I thought maybe working more would get my mind off of everything—" Alcina grabs your chin, turning you to look at her in the eye.

, , My dear, the last thing you should be doing when you're stressed is working. You should be resting, instead- Not- Cleaning windows, sweeping, cooking- I hate to see you do that to yourself. I've known you too long to treat you as just another maid, just take care of yourself more. Can you please do that for me?"

You begin to cry again, burying your face into her chest once more. You start to mumble out apologies over and over again. Alcina comforts you through your tears, wrapping her arms around your body and drawing shapes on your back as you let out choked sobs and soft whimpers. Eventually, your tears stop flowing and they turn into quiet yawns. Finding amusement in your tired state, she begins to run her fingers through your hair.

, , Very tired now, aren't you..." Her voice was soft and quiet. She began leaning to the right, slowly lowering herself further onto the couch, with you laying on top of her. At this rate, you were too tired to deny her warmth, so you just lay curled up on top of The Mistress, welcoming the sleep that finally stole you away.

, , Someday, draga mea, you'll open your eyes and realize just how much you mean to me."

thAt is the first time i have written smth like this :^

lemme know if you want more, bc i already hate this :D

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Not sure if you've closed or open requests but

How do you feel about writing a Yan! Slime? Could be platonic or romantic up to you! Idk slimes are cute :3

(also I'm permanently gonna low key stalk ur blog since again yummy yan fics hope you don't mind me staying- /hj)

CW: Wholesome, romantic, stalker monster love ahead ❤️ proceed with caution❤️

Accidently pushed post whoops done now lol

The five year old boy burst through the bushes, tumbling awkwardly and unskillfully before slowly popping up onto his feet and swinging his stick sword forward. His sibling, (Reader), high stepped carefully over the branches of the bush their brother had just crashed through. (Reader) nervously held their own sword, following their older brother into the woods.

"Jay, can we please go back?" (Reader) whined, trying not to cry nervously as they "explored" deeper into the forest.

"Don't be a baby!" Jay chastised, raising his arms high above his head. "How are you gonna be a monster hunter if you're too chicken?!"

(Reader) grumbled, dragging their shoes in the dirt. "I don't wanna be a monster hunter.. I wanna go home! I'm hungry!"

Jay opened his mouth, and raised his fists, ready to say something when something moved nearby, plopping loudly into a pile of dry leaves. His big, childish eyes went wide with fear, immediately losing all confidence and hiding behind (Reader), holding his thin stick in front of his face defensively. He was too scared to speak, trembling into (Reader's) back.

The younger of the two felt a surge of strength, needing to protect their beloved big brother, so they gripped their weapon with both hands, scrunching up their chubby little face to appear tough. They stomped over to the bush the sound came from, holding their breath, unlike Jay who was hyperventilating. (Reader) removed one pudgy hand from their stick, and swiftly pushed back the little branches, exposing a tiny green blob.

Jay released a high pitched scream and took off running back home, dropping his stick.

The glob was vibrating, and (Reader) was instantly filled with sympathy, assuming the little ball of goo was shaking with fear. "Hey, don't be scared." The four year old cooed, dropping their 'sword' and sitting on their knees to be closer. "I'm sorry, I thought you were a monster." (Reader's) cheesy grin showed off their missing front teeth.

Whatever the green thing was slowly went still, and (Reader) could feel it looking up at them.

"My name is (Reader), and I'm," they looked at their fingers, focusing on holding up the right number, before practically shoving their fingers in the glob's personal space, "four years old!"

The goo reached forward, forming a little nub of a hand, touching (Reader's) fingers. It was surprisingly warm. (Reader) opened their hand so it could roll onto their palm.

"Burrrrble!" The thing happily gurgled, looking quite pleased despite it's lack of a face.

"Burble? Is that your name?"

"Prrrr?" It patted their hand, not understanding the question. (Reader) laughed, feeling ticklish.

"I'm gonna be your best friend!" They decided, cupping the slime with both hands, still giggling over the sticky tingling the little guy caused. "I'll visit you every day, and we can play together everyday after school!"

And (Reader) kept their promise, visiting every single day, for years. The two friends grew up together, Burble learning to speak (Reader's) language over time as (Reader) brought their homework into the woods to have more time with Burble while they studied. Jay kept Burble's existence a secret, but never got over his fear of the creature, so he kept his distance from the two while they played.

Burble had a difficult time not praising (Reader) for their heroics, because if they did it would reveal that Burble had been watching them at school. Living alone in the woods was isolating, especially as a monster, their presence frightening off animals of all species. At first it was just because of how lonely they were, wanting to leave the forest to be with (Reader). They turned Burble down, reminding them how dangerous it would be, now no longer the naive child who didn't understand that slimes were monsters. But, no one would know if Burble attached just a little piece of themselves inside (Reader's) backpack, just to hear their voice while they were away.

Fourteen years later, Burble had been practicing in secret, forming their naturally round body into a humanoid form, trying to perfect their appearance before they revealed themselves to (Reader). It happened so naturally, Burble falling in love with their one and only friend. They wondered if (Reader) could ever feel the same. (Reader) was just so perfect; they were kind and strong, preferring pacifism, but quick to throw themselves in danger's way to protect the ones they love, just like when they first met. Even at school, (Reader) would stand up for those being bullied on a regular basis, gaining a reputation for standing up for those too scared to protect themselves. And they never bragged about it!

The green slime learned so much about (Reader) through the way they interacted with others at school, and fell deeper in love everytime they opened their mouth. (Reader) was an angel on Earth.

(Reader) trudged into the forest behind their home, exhausted after field hockey but refusing to take even a day off from visiting their best friend. It was surprising, learning that Burble was less of a pet and actually a sentient being with thoughts and feelings, but that was even more exciting, being able to communicate with a species not known for their intelligence. Burble rolled onto view, now a very large blob the size of (Reader) if they tucked in their arms and legs.

"(Reader)!" They happily gurgled, jiggling up to the high school senior. "How was your day?"

"Same old, same old." (Reader) lied, still wearing their gym shirt because their original clothes got soaked with milk after they stood up to Cody, the biggest dick they ever met.

Burble knew this, however, and was fine with (Reader) lying, knowing they were just being humble. It made their non-existent heart swell. (Reader) pulled out a bunch of classwork, and a brochure slipped out from a folder. "What's that?"

"Oh, that's a pamphlet for a university. Admissions are coming up, so I've been looking around."

The green color lightened almost to a sick looking yellow. Burble hadn't heard anything about this! What did they mean?!

"Burble, you okay?"

"Does that mean you're leaving?" Burble's voice shook, wobbling their jelly body.

"Yeah, if I make it in, but that's still half a year away, so we have time-"

Burble cut them off. "Don't go."

(Reader) sighed, placing a hand on top of their friend's smooth body. "I can't stay with my parents forever. I want to go explore, meet new people, hopefully get a career a have a passion for."

"Then take me with you!" Burble shouted, heating up under (Reader's) hand, the yellow intensifying.

The now yellow blob lunged at (Reader), morphing into a humanesque shape, creating a beautiful face that looked to be on the verge of tears. Burble held (Reader) to the ground, trapping (Reader's) body with their arms and knees.

"Burble, what the hell?" (Reader) wasn't angry, or nervous, just confused, not understanding what had gotten into their childhood friend.

"You can't leave me alone, (Reader), please!" Burble was incapable of forming tears, but their body ached like they were sobbing, rumbling instead of heaving as they didn't need to breathe. They slammed their face onto (Reader's), knowing what kissing was from a picture book (Reader) had shown them as a child, but not quite understanding how to actually do it. Their newly formed lips moved against (Reader's) timidly, easily holding down the struggling human. Burble broke the kiss so (Reader) could gasp for air. "I love you, (Reader), please don't leave me!"

A hurricane of emotions ripped (Reader's) mind apart, struggling with accepting what was happening. Their first kiss was taken by their best friend, who was still holding them tightly against the dirt ground.

"Let's.. let's talk about this later.. I need to go home." (Reader) stuttered, overwhelmed by the emotions they never felt before rampaging in their skull. Burble sunk lower, melting over (Reader's) body to better prevent their leaving.

"No.. not until you promise not to leave me." Their voice was barely a whisper, begging for (Reader) to love them back.

"I-I won't leave you. We'll figure something out.. You've just gotten too big to hide and-" Burble's weight was heavy on (Reader's) ribcage. "we'll figure something out."

Satisfied, Burble sat up and rolled off of (Reader), slowly changing back to their natural green hue. "You promise?"

"I promise." (Reader) face a sad smile, still incapable of fearing their dear friend.

Burble smiled, barely maintaining their shape as they allowed (Reader) to leave. They trusted (Reader), even if (Reader) didn't accept their confession at that moment, there was no way they would break their promise. And, if for some reason they did, if someone like their nervous brother fear mongered (Reader) into abandoning Burble, they would always be able to find them. The green slime collapsed back into a ball, happily listening to (Reader) through the tiny piece of themselves still hiding in (Reader's) backpack.

"Please come back soon.."

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 08

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

Masterlist

Tw: dead animal and copious amounts of blood

…

“Welcome to The Umbrella Academy, Number Zero.”

“Number Zero, get up.”

“Go to your room Number Zero.”

“Do what you're told, Number Zero.”

“Number Zero! Come here.”

“Stop crying Number Zero.”

“You aren’t a baby Number Zero.”

“No dinner for Number Zero.”

“You're not good enough Number Zero.”

“Stop misbehaving Number Zero.”

Phrases I've heard Reginald say time and time again. I hated that girl Number Zero, whoever she was.

My name is Y/n L/n, and Reginald Hargreeves knew that. But I hated him too because he made me like this. A freak of nature and it was clear he hated me too.

Not once would you ever hear praise and the words ‘Number Zero’ in the same sentence.

So I never understood why he adopted me if he couldn’t stand the sight of me. But deep down I knew why, it was the same reason why he adopted all of us children he needed our powers not us.

He would make me do whatever he wanted without concern or consequence. And nobody would dare tell him no, cause he did the same thing to everyone else around him.

I slept on the cold table for what felt like years, as my mind drifted to days I'd like to forget.

..

17 YEARS AGO

I stood alone in the middle of an unfamiliar room anxious for what was to come. There was no furniture or even windows except for a small wooden desk, and the only glow in said room came from the desk lamp.

Today was my first day of training, Reginald explained to me. And I was a scared twelve-year-old who’d just arrived at the Academy.

He stood in front of me, stopwatch in his bony hand. But he wasn't the only person in the room. There was another man I did not know, and all I can remember about him was how tall he was.

“Begin.”

My stance was shaky as a withering tree when Reginald uttered those words. I didn't know what to do, I just kept standing there. But the man didn't.

He inched closer and closer so I moved back, extremely terrified when it clicked in my head what the man was about to do.

“Do it.”

The man’s steps wavered, but he followed instructions. He raised the gun in his right hand and he shot me.

The sound of the bullet leaving the gun made the room shake and my screaming body instantly hit the cold wooden floor.

Then I heard the stopwatch start.

The bullet hit me directly in the heart. The man must've been some type of trained killer because of the way he would hit me with great accuracy each time. As expected I was still conscious but too scared to move, so I sat there paralyzed and cried. I cried because It hurt. I cried for my mother. I cried because that was all I could do.

Nobody in the room moved; they were waiting for the thing to happen.

And they didn't have to wait that long. At first, it felt like gears were turning in my head. But from the perspective of Reginald the somewhat dark room was illuminated by the swirls of bright light coming from my chest. Then I could move my feet and fingers and I could blink.

I sat upwards from my uncomfortable position as the bullet that had just been in me popped back out. And the spilled blood surrounding my body reversed back into my chest as well as my old bullet wound was completely healed.

I was as good as new.

“Again.”

..

“Number Zero, get up.”

Every day felt like a constant battle. I was beaten, mangled and killed every single day in new sick ways that he came up with.

“We have a lot to work on, Number Zero. You have missed years of training already. You cannot play anymore.”

I went to bed everyday yearning for it to be over but I kept coming back each day for more. I learned to fight from getting my ass kicked. He tested my durability and timed me, by telling me to break my bones and rip off body parts, just to see how long it would take for them to heal.

“You need to be better, Number Zero.”

“I'm trying!” I screamed but it fell on deaf ears. I'd never fought anyone before, he expected everything to be engraved in my head by day five. And when it wasn't he started taking things away.

“No dinner for Number Zero.”

..

I was angry. I threw tantrums, destroyed my room and hurt myself. Which never mattered to him.

“Stop misbehaving Number Zero.”

By thirteen I did what I had to but I tuned the world out. My thought process was whatever happened to me just happens and I'll always be okay.

He turned me into a shell of my past self. Who could kill whoever he needed and get back up whenever pushed down. And I don’t think anybody knew the extent my private lessons were going and I wasn't going to tell them either way.

..

“Number Zero! Come here.”

It wasn't only myself I had to heal, he tried to have me heal others too.

I'd found myself again in the same room where I was first trained. This time accompanied by a dog, I don’t remember what breed he was but he was cute and fluffy and I wished I could keep him.

The same man from before with the same gun stood against the wall.

“Begin.”

The dog was let off his leash and ran towards me. He licked my face, he wanted to play, he was a nice dog.

My happiness didn't last for long, because the man got off the wall and headed towards us. I hugged the small dog hoping that if I held him hard enough he wouldn't do what he was assigned. But that man always followed instructions.

“Do it.”

The fluffy dog was taken out of my arms. He barked in protest and tried to run back over to me but he never made it. He was shot right in his stomach. I burst into tears, trying to run out of the room.

“Stop crying Number Zero. You aren’t a baby.”

Reginald grabbed me and made me face the dying dog. He threw me towards him yelling a command.

“Do what you're told, Number Zero.”

I tried, I honestly did, but I couldn’t do it. No one told me how he just expected me to know how to heal the dog. I've only healed my mother and I wasn't even sure how I did that.

My hands were covered in the dog's blood as I sobbed. I thought if I just thought about it hard it would happen, and yes my hands did flicker but the dog still laid there dead.

“I can’t,” I whispered

I wanted to save that dog. I looked up at the disappointed Reginald, not knowing what to do.

“You're not good enough Number Zero.”

The dog's life force was officially gone. He was the first thing I let die.

I screamed and kicked trying to get my hands back on the dog but I was dragged out of the room.

“Mission one failed,” Reginald said out loud while writing in his book.

..

PRESENT DAY

“Miss Y/n, are you listening?” The ape snapped his fingers in front of my dazed face. I was still on the table in the operations room, and judging by Pogo’s restlessness I'd been here for a while.

I gasped while grabbing onto my head, which still felt partially bashed in. “How long have I been here for?” I asked him.

Pogo’s hairy hands went into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a tiny pocket watch. “Well, Master Diego dropped you off here around Nine pm yesterday and now it’s about a quarter till Nine am. Almost Ten hours Miss Y/n.”

“Ten hours and my head hasn’t healed yet?” My clasped hands moved from my head to my hair as I tugged and worried. “What’s going on with me, a—are my powers not working??” I started to hyperventilate. Without these powers, I'm sure that I’ll succumb to my injuries and die.

The ape shook his head. “Your powers are working just fine, don’t worry my dear. I've been here ever since Master Diego found me and told me of the situation. Your head is healing, yes, but very slowly.”

I didn’t want this to be the end, there was still so much I could do, but then again I've never actually put any thought into how it would go.

Being bludgeoned by a man with a kid’s mask on is not how I'm leaving this world.

I take a deep breath to calm my nerves just as Vanya taught me a while back. Oh shit. “Where’s Vanya?”

Pogo looks away from me. “After the attack on the academy yesterday, your other siblings minus Master Luther deemed it was too risky for her to stay. Because she cannot protect herself like the rest of you..”

“They kicked her out?” I begrudgingly stood up from my seat. “Why do they always do that? I saved her. It's okay now, and she would’ve never gotten hurt if she wasn't looking for me.”

“Miss Y/n please, I don't advise you to leave you aren’t healed. Please sit back down, you can find her later.” He was right, even just standing up took the wind out of me.

Maybe my age was finally catching up with me and this is how my life will continue. I took a seat back down as I finally registered what I was wearing by looking down, I no longer had my jacket. Just jeans and my black shirt.

“Oh! I think Master Diego hung up your jacket back in your bedroom.” Pogo said, sensing my confusion. “It’s a miracle that thing had no blood on it or tears, I know how much that jacket means to you.”

“That’s very nice of him? I didn't know he had it in him.”

“Of course my dear, everyone worries for you. You always took beating after beating with no repercussions. It always amazed me. That being said, you need to be careful.” He explains.

I scratch at my freezing skin. “What?”

“Because you need to take it easy, yes you are formidable but that doesn’t mean you can go around just injuring yourself.” The monkey's accent enunciated every word.

I laugh. “Reginald used to think so.” Pogo stops mid-thought at the mention of him. He looks at me with sorrow in his big eyes. “Never mind that.” He says boldly.

“You took lots of hits yesterday even before getting your head caved in. Other areas of your body heal faster but the brain is such a febrile thing. You need your brain to be able to connect with your powers, being shot once is one thing. But being hit with such intenseness, you're glad your brain was still able to do it. Other times in the future you won't be as lucky, my girl.”

Thank God I stayed awake. No literally thank God, whatever grass field I woke up in felt like death.

“Stay here for maybe five more hours and it should be healed.”

My tense body shivers as I speak up. “Pogo I can’t wait that long, who knows what I missed I need to get back out there.”

“No, I’m prescribing you to stay here and heal your injury.” The short man said.

“Vanya has been kicked out, people just attacked our house, I haven’t seen Klaus and Five forever and who knows what the idiot patrol is going to do next!” I ramble while on my fingers everything that's been going on recently.

He looks up at my disgruntled figure.

“Pogo, please.”

He sighs. “There is a slight alternative, however, it's never been tested and is probably quite painful.” Pogo turns from me to rummage in a few shelves.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“I'm afraid you're not going to be happy when you figure out what it is, Miss Y/n.” He yelled from the other side of the room. “I'm sure I've heard worse, Pogo.”

The man returns with an old wooden box covered in small detailed vines. “Your father was always worried that any moment could be your last. For example, If you were too weak to activate your powers or didn’t on purpose.”

“Once you were around fourteen, he started to work on your blood by gathering samples. He did things to alter the samples to create the perfect healing serum or just a boost for your powers.”

I told Pogo I'd be ready for any news but this had been terrifying. “When did he have time to even do that?”

“All of your checkups here in the operations room.” Pogo tilts his head down. “That’s when he would take samples.”

“That is so fucked.” I yell. “How could I have never suspected something was happening when I would be in here almost every day?”

“None of this is your fault, your father just wanted to make sure you're safe. Even if his measures were a bit forward.”

I shake my head at him. “Pogo, this wasn't out of love at all, don't you realize he only did this because he needed me for his purpose? So that I couldn’t get free of this. He only needed me alive for my powers, not because he cared.”

“I assure you your father meant well, somewhere in his heart. But now is the time to use it to speed up the process of your head healing.” Pogo lifts open the top of the box revealing a velvet inside. And rows and rows of tiny indents in the velvet that held little vials of liquid. This liquid looked exactly like my powers, even though it was made out of my normal-colored blood.

It makes me shudder thinking about what he did to it, and me. But I know I had to get it done if I wanted to get out of here. “Okay, so we just inject it into my arm? And I walk out of here after?”

“Not exactly..” says Pogo. “We don't know what could happen, it’s never been tested on anyone. But my best guess is to inject it right into the injury so it will spread there.”

“You mean you're going to stick a needle into my head?” I look at him in horror.

“Why yes, unless you want to take my instructions to wait here for five hours.”

“Grab the needle.”

..

After a bunch of hesitance and worrying Pogo had me lay down on the table fully. He walked up to my indented head with the syringe and without warning stuck it in my head. “Pogo!” I cry out.

The ape didn't respond, instead, he put the box back on the shelf where he got it. “How do you feel?” He asked.

At this point I didn't feel anything different from the splitting headache my broken head was giving me. “I feel the same-“

Then it started to hit me. It felt like a mix of adrenaline and crack all at once.

My powers shined around my head, the healing felt like it was moving faster than I could compute it. It made my body feel like it was on fire, and I signaled that to the ape by screaming out in pain. But it didn't last long because like I said, my powers were moving fast. I blinked and my head felt as good as new.

Pogo stared at me in shock at the display he just watched. “It’s a miracle!” He grins. “How did it feel?”

My eyes darted across the room trying to put into words, outside of my head, how the sensation felt.

“Well I wouldn't recommend it, but it got the job done. Hopefully, I never have to take that again. But thank you Pogo” I reply standing up while my wobbly legs try to position themselves correctly.

“I need to do something that's going to contribute. Either find Five or Vanya or talk to everyone else.” I mutter under my breath.

He stuttered wanting to say more and try to convince me any way he could but my path to the door was clear.

“Thanks again, Pogo!” I shouted over my shoulder. I wasn't even sure how the rest of the mansion would look after the attack, I just wished everyone was okay.

…

Aug 14 update:

If you'd like to be added to the tag list for rest of the series (starts at chapter 10) say taglist in the comments!

[factual-fantasy]

TUNA I'VE FAILED YOU OH YOU DELICIOUS PIECE OF MY HEART HOW'VE YOU BEEN MY DEAREST PUREST LITTLE GUY??!??

Since the last post you made about him I've been wanting to ScReAM my love for him but I never had the time and the energy at the same time! D: until now >:]

BECAUSE WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?!

THE SMILE! THE FONDNESS! THE "I KNOW IM LOVED" THAT THIS DRAWING SCREAMS IS MAKING ME SO INSANE I LOVE SO MUCH HERE

Now, continuing to be an acceptable member of the Tuna Lover society.

TUNA YOU'RE THE ABSOLUTE BEST THING EVER.

Hold yourself because I have 0 self control when it comes to ramble about my specialist little guy and I'm afraid I wrote quite a lot.

Tuna looks like he is so tired. Look at him! His whole body language is screaming "I'm so tired but i dont really think sleep cluld help me". What did this rascal do that he's so tired? I wonder, but for some reason he looks more like being emotionally tired than anything. Poor bean! Did he had a rough week? A bad day? Is he feeling down? Maybe he's just tired for no specific reason, it happens sometimes. I wish I could cup him in my hands and pat his head softly as I rock him to sleep because he's so my baby :'[ <3

Ellie oh you heart of gold woman how lucky is the crew you're a part of it! Like seriously. She looked at this sad teen and said: not under my watch young boy. And went to cook his fauvorite rolls??!? She's so grannie coded I need her in my daily life you have no clue (oh no I got nostalgyc-). She's trying to hype him up and she's not just silently sliding the rolls under his hands. She's actually talking with him and something about physical contact. WAIT. IS THAT IT? IS TUNA SO VERY TOUCH STARVED THAT THIS IS HIS REACTION? OOOUGH MY HEART CANT HANDLE IT. I'll follow this train of thought later. (🚂)

Like. She's so gentle, so careful, so... She's really making sure she does all she can to lift up the spirits of that young man!

Because the way he's looking at her... the fondness.. the care and gratefulness????? Oh dear momma fish I'm dying. He's looking at her so sweetly! So gratefull! He's screaming "thanks for being a part of my life" without his mouth. He's screaming "I am so gratefull you love me" with his only one eye and I'm so down for it. I need more of them. They warm my fish heart so much... She's the grannie he never asked for bur always needed! Y'know? He's capable of looking at someone like that after all he's gone through and if that doesn't make me want to cry I don't know what does. Because that's just... OUGH I CANT WITH THEM HE HAS SUCH A TRAGYC BACKSTORY AND FEELS LIKE NO ONE LIKES HIM AND THEN THIS OLD LADY IS LIKE: YEAH, ILL BAKE HIM SONETHING SO HE CHEERS UP??!??! I NEED THEM HUGGING I NEED THEM BONDING I NEED THEM BEING A MEANACE TOGERHER BECAUSE OHMYGOD WHAT I WOULDNT GIVE TO SEE THIS TWO BEING LIKE THIS EVERYDAY.

A tiny part of me kinda wants to see one of them hurted really bad and the other protecting, but the other part of me is terrified of the mental implications it would have. Especially if it's ellie the one hurted. Oh no, no, let's end that thought there for my own sake 🫠

BECAUSE ELLIE IS JUST... SHE JUST BAKES HIM HIS FAUVORITR, I REPEAT, FAVOURITE THINGS WITHOUT HIM ASKING FOR IT.

Ok, returning with that train of thought (🚂)... I probably have alredy rambled about this before, but... When was the last time someone hold this guy gently? I mean, not even hold, but just... touch him without meaning harm? Or more precisely, when was the last time someone touched him with care? With fondness? With the intention to lift his spirit? To make him smile, at least a little tiny eety beety winesy bit?

She puts hers hand on his shoulder and he jumps, freezing with his mouth full of delicious food. It's her. Of course it's her, they were chatting alone in the kitchen, although it felt more a monologue as Ellie cooked than an actual conversation. He was too in his mind to really listen. The sudden contact was what made him blink with his only eye, staring at the caring old eyes of the lady at his right. It was nice. Warm and rough hands squeezed his arm softly, fully aware that she had startled him. She looked at him with a fond smile and placed the fresh rolls in front of him. "There, you better enjoy them boy!" She may or may not say. Thing is, his eye goes to the hot, delicious food, and then he realizes. The hand is still there. Gentle. Almost can't feel it. It's. Why? It's strange. It should hurt. But it didn't. Of course it made sense, but why? Of course it didn't! It was Ellie! And then the realization hits. All in a matter of seconds. Ellie would never lay a harming hand on him. And he felt... He felt.

"You can't eat literally with your eyes, you do know that, do you?" He forgot he was eating. He smiled. And seeing that smile made her smile too. After all, how couldn't she? That wasn't something she saw everyday! Much less in such a sincere way! He was just... smiling at her. Oh she felt so happy! "I'm glad you like those! If you want more just tell me!" Oh wasn't he in the verge of tears? Happy tears! Him! Oh. The realization hitted like a truck. (Or like a ship? What's the equivalent? Idk, like a punch of Louis if you please.) He was cared for. He was loved. There were hands in this world that weren't meant to harm him. He just smiled, fondness burning in his chest like a wildfire because how this woman can change a man via kindness/food.

What is so crazy is that maybe he's just staring lovingly at the lady that cares for him. Because he feels like he's a rock on the boots of the crew most of the time but he's good at what he does so they bare with him. Maybe he feels they don't want him around but... but this lady does. And isn't he gratefull for it? Isn't he so happy she's around? She touches his only arm in such a gentle way? The other won't feel kindness never again, did it ever felt it? Not punches, not grabs, no, just... placing her hand there. Like he isn't an animal with the rabbies but actually a just really fucked up little guy who is terrified of people because people gave him reasons to and barks and bites but is, at the end, very lonely and afraid because he pushed everyone away. Except for this lady. He tried. He bited and barked until he realized she doesn't care, that she alredy saw the scared guy he was and didn't cared. She didn't cared. She cared so much more than anyone that she didn't cared! She wasn't afraid! She wasn't going away! If anything, she sitted closer as time passed. And suddenly, a pet on the head. A so waited, so dreamed, so strange, so scary! Pat on the head. Gentle. Not like those who grabbed him to calm him down and only made him bark and bite with more energy. No. Gentle. It was new. It was nice. But he was afraid. Afraid. How long until she hits? He thinks. But she never hits. She brings him treats. Suspicious. But... not so... Why? It's just that he isn't used to see someone care. But she cares. And she doesn't goes away. And she doesn't turn her back. If anything, only to take the rolls out of the oven!

He doesn't thinks all that in the moment. He just wants. Oh. That felt nice. But was kinda unexpected. It's later at night that he thinks, if his three neurons decide to work. Mayne this is how his complex being feels but his tint neurons don't know how to think. He just loves and cares about the lovely woman that cares and loves back. I need more of them. They mean everything to me at this point factual I'm descending to madness.

AWROROOGOOGGHHHHGGGGG YOUR LOVE FOR TUNA FUELS MY SOULLL!!!! 😭😭THSNKYIUUUUU!!!😭😭💞💞💞💞

[kazutora-kurokawa]

Poly Relationship w/ Baji, Chifuyu, and Kazutora

♡ SFW, pure fluff, fem reader, set in a timeline where Baji, Tora, and Fuyu own a petshop ♡

note: This was requested by @mirai-006, hope you enjoy 🩷 btw I separated the headcanons into sections because I kept having different ideas lol

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

General HCs

💞 When you started working at the petshop, you weren't expecting to end up in a relationship with the owner, let alone all three of them

💞 Everyday is different with these idiots, I swear they share a singular brain cell

💞 They all have different love languages, so you end up with a lot of presents, food, and cuddles

💞 Expect stray cats to be brought home every week

💞 You and Kazutora feel like babysitters a lot of the time because Baji is wild and Chifuyu goes along with everything he says

💞 Kazutora is the clingiest and also the quietest

💞 Baji is for sure the loudest, he'll yell at the top of the lungs even when you're in the same room

💞 Chifuyu is the mediator, he likes to keep things peaceful but usually ends up arguing with Baji about something stupid

💞 You and Chifuyu take turns doing Kazutora and Baji's hair (wash day takes forever, not to mention having to re-dye Kazutora's hair)

💞 Baji says the dumbest shit ever and you all just look at him like huh? (Chifuyu tries to rationalize what he's saying but it never works 😭)

Motorcycle Rides

💞 You're the biggest passenger princess in the whole world

💞 They'll argue over who gets to drive you around and end up settling the disagreement by playing rock paper scissors (Baji always wins lol)

Movie Nights

💞 You take turns deciding what to watch

💞 If you end up watching a horror movie Fuyu and Tora will scream and accidentally toss popcorn on you and Baji

💞 Chifuyu loves romance movies, but Baji doesn't because they make him cry, especially if it's unrequited love

Cuddling

💞 Kazutora loves being little spoon, bonus points if you run your fingers through his hair

💞 Chifuyu is fine with being big or little spoon, he likes laying on your chest and listening to your heartbeat

💞 Baji is so hyperactive, he probably can't even hold still long enough to cuddle lol

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkitkats @happy-trenchcoated-impala @rinsprttyg @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies

[riordanness]

nightmare dressed like a daydream — [w.wonka]

wordcount: 1.1K

warnings: nightmares and reader has ptsd

requested: no (but feel free to <3)

As usual, the nightmares hit as soon as I close my eyes.

Memories of the life I used to live, the people who used to control my every waking minute. The ache of my bones, the pounding of my head, the intense loneliness that would try to consume me.

Will had been the light shining through the darkness of my life, but in my dreams, he never came back for me.

I was left stranded in Mrs Scrubbit’s chicken coop, or left to scrub and scrub the dirt from a pile of clothes that never ended.

I would often wake in a cold sweat, or screaming, or crying, or sometimes all of them at once. My hands would be clenched so tightly around the sheets that my knuckles would be white. My breathing would be heavy, and I’d be near impossible to calm down.

Except for when Willy Wonka was there. Because that boy was a miracle.

Just his touch, and a few gentle words would slow my heart rate. My breathing would calm, and I would focus on reality again.

Reality was being safe. It was being with Willy, helping him make his astounding chocolates. Reality was being happy every day. Being free everyday. Reality was falling in love with Willy Wonka.

Tonight, my dreams were much the same. I was small, and alone, and the darkness and freezing cold of the chicken coop were smothering me. The awful smell filled my nose, I was chilled to the bone, and I had almost given up.

But just at the moment when Willy was supposed to show up and rescue me, whisk me away to safety and to freedom, he didn’t come. He didn’t show up at all.

He left me there to be trapped forever.

I wake with a start, a strangled cry choking out of me. Tears are still fresh on my cheeks, and my chest heaves with sobs.

Barely a moment passes before my bedroom door opens. Willy rushes through, and drops to his knees on the floor beside my bed.

“Hey, hey,” he says quietly. “It’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay.”

He reaches for me, pulling me close to his chest. I cry into his shirt, fists clutching at the material.

“You… I was… alone,” I cry, utterly distraught. You’d think, after having the same nightmare every night for weeks now, that I’d be a little less sensitive to it, but it was so painful every time. Painful in a way I just couldn’t describe properly.

The thought of not having Willy in my life, this boy who now meant the entire world to me, this boy who had rescued me from my terrible life and set me free, that realisation of him leaving me there hurt like nothing else.

Waking up to realise it was just a dream, and that Willy would never do that, was so relieving I just cried even more.

But here, wrapped in his arms, I knew I was safe. I knew I didn’t need to worry about being alone anymore. Because I wasn’t. I had Willy Wonka by my side, and I probably always will.

“I would never leave you,” Willy whispers into my hair, as his fingers play with a strand of it.

I wonder if maybe he can read my thoughts. He always seems to know the exact right thing to say to make me feel better, to ease my worries and anxieties and to calm me right down.

“You never need to worry about being alone again.”

His words are like a sip of hot chocolate, warm and comforting, spreading that happy feeling all over me.

“Hey,” Willy says in a hushed voice. “Can you let me go for a second, sweetheart?”

I realise how tightly I’m clutching onto him, and I quickly let him go. “Sorry,” I say, brushing my tears away with the back of my hand. “I’m sorry.”

Willy shakes his head. “No you don’t need to be sorry. It’s not your fault you had to experience all of that. It’s perfectly natural to have nightmares about it.”

He gets to his feet. “I’m going to just grab my suitcase, and I’m going to make you something.”

I ease myself back onto my pillows, trying to hold onto the feeling of relaxation I feel while in Willy’s arms a little longer. “Okay.”

He disappears, and quickly returns with his case, which he sets on my desk. He sits down, rummages for a while, and soon enough, comes back over to me with two items. A mug, and a small piece of chocolate.

Willy sits gingerly on the edge of my bed. “Hot chocolate,” he says, handing me the mug, “for obvious reasons.”

“Hot chocolate is the world's best beverage invention,” I quote him, a small smile playing around my mouth.

Willy nods, and grins, and holds out his palm. On it lies a little circular chocolate, silvery blue in colour. Right in the middle is a little symbol of a… snake? No, two snakes, intertwined around a little stick.

A caduceus, I think. The ancient Greek symbol of medicine.

I pick up the chocolate, holding it carefully between my fingers. “What is it?”

Willy shrugs. “Try it and see.”

I pop it into my mouth, chewing slowly. Instantly, I feel a strange but delicious feeling crawling all over me,

I swallow, and the warm feeling only spreads further. Everything inside of me seems to relax, like melted chocolate and a smile has been injected into all my muscles and nerves.

“What is this?” I ask, looking up at him. For the first time since he came in, I really notice how tired he looks. His eyes are slightly glazed-over, his curls are unkempt and messily splayed across his forehead. His shirt is rumpled, but his smile is still as bright as it always is.

“It’s… uh, just something I made for you.” He looks away as he answers.

I laugh lightly. “Well, of course. But what is it?”

My best friend glances back at me. “Love,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s love.”

I have no idea why or how, but just his words fill me with more warmth and joy than any amount of chocolate ever could.

“I love you,” Willy says.

“I love you too,” I admit slowly, my eyes suddenly too shy to look at him. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

He smiles, and I’m sure it’s brighter than the sun itself. “I’m glad.” He leans forward and presses his mouth to mine, and I swear, sugary sweets couldn’t compare at all.

[thescarletnargacuga]

THE BULL

A HARLEQUIN AU CAINE SONGFIC

Harlequin AU and ART credit: @tadc-harlequin-au @iamespecter

WARNING: angst, PTSD, guilt, anxiety, regret, alcohol

~~~

Caine dropped the empty bottle. Numb all over, he slouched in his office chair. His mind finally stopped screaming. Dizzying nothingness awaited him. It was the only potential bit of peace he knew.

Each and everyday, hiding from the sunshine

Wandering in the shade

Not too old, not too young

His soul still aches. That never changed no matter how much he drank. A pain that could never be silenced.

Every night again

Dancing with the moonlight

Somewhere far away, I can hear your call

A giant black bull, covered in colorful eyes, burst through the door. The horned shadow charged Caine, plowing through his desk and throwing him through the wall behind him.

I'm out of my head, of my heart and my mind

Cuz you can run but you can't hide

I'm going to make you mine

Caine fell way too far before hitting ground. Getting up, the City of Circuits was on fire. Human families ran and screamed with their children. Puppets brandishing weapons pursued. Gunfire and explosions made his ears ring.

Out of my head, of my heart and my mind

Cuz I can feel how your flesh now Is crying out for more

The bull was back. Charging through the swarms of panicked people. It didn't touch them, having a clear path through the chaos to Caine. He tried to run. The ground beneath him crumbled.

Ain't No fairy tail what I see in your eyes

Awaiting your mistakes

Not too close, not too far

The abyss that swallowed him was lined with abstract eyes. He landed in something liquid. He couldn't stay afloat, no matter how hard he tried to swim. He went under, hitting the bottom. It was made of glass.

Sneaking in the pain

Every truth becomes lie

I won't trust myself

Once I hear your call

The roar of the bull was the only warning before impact. The glass prison shattered. The force of the bull tossed Caine like a ragdoll across the hard floor. It's hooves trampled him, excruciating pain stabbed his abdomen and head.

I'm out of my head, of my heart and my mind

Cuz you can run but you can't hide

I'm going to make you mine

He saw what he thought was Pomni. She was high up on a platform. He reached out for her. She jumped. She landed face first into the floor, it broke on impact and she disappeared below.

Out of my head, of my heart and my mind

Cuz I can feel your flesh now

Is crying out for more

He screamed. He cried until his voice was gone. Then he was surrounded by Pomni. Over one thousand stoic harlequins stared at him. He couldn't look at them. He heard the bull again.

I'm out of my head, of my heart and my mind

The bull charged through and the harlequins turned into hundreds of thousands of photos. The faces burned off of all of them. Caine was struck again. He didn't even try to get out of the way this time.

Out of my head, of my heart and my mind

The blizzard of photographs cleared to reveal scorched earth. The ground was littered with humans and puppets alike. Marionettes of all sizes lurked in the shadows.

I'm out of my head, of my heart and my mind

Cuz you can run but you can't hide

I'm going to make you mine

Caine stood alone in a dead world. Only the bull remained. It pawed the ground and snorted, its many eyes all focused on him. He closed his eyes as it charged.

Out of my head, of my heart and my mind

Cuz I can feel how your flesh now is crying out for more...

The roar of the bull was the last thing Caine heard before he jolted awake. He was soaked with sweat and alcohol. Bottles littered the floor around his desk. He held his head in his hands. His whole body trembled.

He deserves this.

And he knew why.

~~~

ADDITIONAL ART BY SPECTER HERE!!

[tomhollandisabae]

lonely- simon "ghost" riley x f!reader

masterlist

fandom; call of duty

summary; after simon had left for his next mission, you were faced with the biggest challenge of your life and you had to get through that all by yourself.

warnings; angst, pregnancy, fluff, mentions of death, english is not my first language

words; idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

a/n; this idea was stuck into my brain since last week and once i couldn't find anything similar to it anywhere to read, i decided to write it myself. also you can send me your requests!!

a/n2; f1 fans please don't come after me i know you're expecting the 2nd part of the story with lewis but i have no motivation to write it😭i'll do it some time, but i don't know when. uni has been draining me out so much.

"please take care of yourself " was the last thing you told simon -your husband - before he left for yet another mission.

now it had been 12 months and there was no sign of him. however, a lot had happened in the past year, but most importantly you had given birth to a beautiful baby girl -all by yourself.

when you had found out that you were expecting, simon was long gone and you had no way to communicate with him. the only thing that you could do was to get through this pregnancy all alone. thank god that maternity leave was a thing, otherwise you had no idea how you could manage having a baby all by yourself.

whatsoever, you couldn't be mad at your husband as a matter of fact that you had found out about your pregnancy only one week after he had left, while the guilt was everyday eating you alive.

you had no idea how he would react though. you were aware of his past and how his father had treated him.

simon is a lovely human being... towards you. he's a sweet, loving and caring husband and you are absolutely sure that he will make a great father.

you had went through a lot during your pregnancy and you could admit that it wasn't an easy one; mood swings, cravings, morning sickness, back pain etc.

the worst part of it all was when you went into labour. you had spent hours and hours trying to bring the little bundle of joy, that you and the love of your life had created together, into this world.

and after many hours of pain and screaming you were finally holding your baby girl in your arms. the first thing that you had noticed about her were her eyes -same as her father's- and that made your eyes well up with tears.

now it had been almost 4 months since you had given birth and the constant stress of taking care of a baby by yourself had tore you apart both physically and emotionally. you were barely sleeping, you had lost your appetite and were actually a walking wreck.

some nights you would spend them in your bed crying yourself to sleep, wishing your husband was here to help you out.

currently, you were taking a shower as you heard your daughter crying. sighing deeply, you got out and wrapped a towel around you as you made your way to the nursery.

you took her in your arms and sat down on the rocking chair, lowering your towel and starting feeding her. once she was fed, you put her back to sleep and went into your room, changing quickly and laying on your bed.

you brought both your arms over your eyes in an attempt to block out any kind of light source and bit on your bottom lip trying not to cry, again.

as your mind wander in different places, you didn't hear the front door opening and closing as well as the heavy footsteps on the staircase.

you only raised your head as you saw your bedroom door opening, revealing your husband.

immediately, you were flooded by many different emotions as you jumped up from the bed and attacked him in a -suffocating- hug.

simon chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms protectively around you and kissed the top of your head.

"i can't believe that you're back." you pulled away for a moment "you're actually back." you embraced him again not having noticed the tears that were spilling from your eyes.

"i'm sorry it took me too long my love" he mumbled on top of your head as he squished you in his arms.

"i missed you" you lifted your head up, looking at him.

"i missed you y/n" he leaned down and slowly brought his lips on top of yours kissing you softly and yet so loving.

sooner or later, however, you broke away as you looked up at him with a huge smile.

"i have to show you something" you said excited and grabbed his hand, leading him out of your bedroom and across the hall way.

you glanced at him anxiously as you slowly opened the door of your baby's room. you turned on the lights and guided simon inside.

you were looking carefully at him as his expression changed from a curious one to a shocked.

"love..." he exclaimed as he turned to look at you while his bottom lip was trembling.

"i found out one week after you left. i had no way to tell you, simon, i'm so sorry" the guilt took over you.

"shh it's okay." he wrapped his arms once again around you as you sobbed into his chest.

"i just... it was awful, simon. first the guilt that there was a way to tell you, but i was too stupid to think about it and second all the pain, the emotions, everything... i just feel so... useless." you cried out.

"hey" he grabbed both your cheeks and looked you in the eye "you're the strongest woman i've ever known in my entire life, y/n. not only for going through a pregnancy and labour by yourself, but also for being able to get through that with being aware of a chance of me never coming back again and yet you got enough courage and look where that brought you love."

it was true. every time he would go on a new mission, the curiosity of his well being would kill you. every single day you were checking you mail for a letter that would be proclaiming your husband dead.

"i love you so much simon" you raised on your tiptoes and buried your face into the crook of his neck.

"i love you more sweetheart." he lifted your head once again and kissed you softly.

you were so grateful for the feeling of his warm, soft lips against yours, kissing them with so much love and care. every single time you would be in his radar, this man would worship the ground you were walking on.

finally, you pulled away with a small smile.

"come on" you guided him towards the crib where the newborn baby was sleeping in soundly.

carefully, you picked her up in your arms and turned towards simon that was looking at his daughter as if she was the most precious thing on earth.

"do you want to hold her?" you suggested.

"i... i don't know how" he admitted and you kissed his cheek smiling.

"that's why i'm here for. i'll show you how." you said and just like that you handed the small baby over to your husband that was feeling as if he was holding the most fragile thing in the world.

"she's... so small." he stroked lightly her rosy cheek with his thump.

what took you aback was that her little hand enveloped his pinky finger, holding it firmly. you gasped and his breath hitched in his throat.

"wow she didn't even do that to me. only knowing you for a few minutes and she's already a daddy's girl." you complained jokingly placing your hands on your hips.

"really doubt that. there's no one better than you." he kissed your forehead and your face broke into a huge smile as you wrapped your arms around your husband, admiring the way your daughter was rested in her father's chest, not really believing that you had finally built a family with the man you loved most in the entire world.

at that moment, you couldn't be more happy.

[stqrgirlie0]

⋆toxic!theo⋆

now we’ve all hear of theo in a healthy and loving relationship, however in a toxic one? Probably the worst. Things would start off good, you guys would be all over each other, all the time. Everything would be great, unit it wouldn’t. After a few weeks, theo would grow bored and tired of you. He’d talk to other girls right in front of you, on purpose. And then when you’d confront him about it he’d get all defensive, make you think that you’re the one who’s wrong. He’d accuse you of being controlling and that he’s allowed to have ‘friends’ who are female. Despite being emotionally done with you, he wouldn’t break up, because he lovees getting you all riled up to the point where you are so mentally exhausted with his mind games, that you just give up. You give up, and you let him win, again and again and again. You guys would argue every single day, and it would always be in his dorm- because there’d always be something to go confront him about, no where other than his dorm. Leaving a toxic relationship isn’t easy, and when it’s with theo-it’s even harder. All your friends say to get out of it before it’s too late, but you’ve already ran out time. Confrontation doesn’t affect him, all the more reason for you to not leave him just to accept the challenge of making him care- just once. You would be screaming your lungs out and he’d just stand there, with a stupid smirk on his face as watches you pace around the room while shouting, and wonders what your thighs would look like locked around his head, your hands brushing out his fluffy curls and your mouth chanting out his name instead of whatever you were saying right now. Eventually the previous becomes a reality. It was almost like an indirect apology, yet theo had no intention of apologising, he just wanted to keep you hooked on for the next few days until he would do it again. suddenly everything’s fine. Well it’s not, but that’s how he’ll be pretending it is for the next few days. It’s this and his love bombing that made it so hard for you to leave, you hate it but you don’t. It’s a tricky one, but the cycle goes on, and on, and on. And oh my god this man is so stubborn, he cannot and will not change himself for you. During the honeymoon period of your relationship, his smoking didn’t really bother you, he wouldn’t be smoking all the time, maybe once every two or three days (sounds very unlikely I know). But after things got a bit more strained, he’d smoke multiple everyday- maybe even finishing the whole pack in a day. It was horrible. You hated the smell, and the worst thing was that it was everywhere. on nights when you and theo would supposedly ‘make up’, every corner of you would be infested with the scent, lingering on your clothes for the next few days. on the other nights when you’d go back to your dorm, alone and crying, you’d toss and turn in your bed. The scent would arise, from your pillows, duvet, hair, clothes, and it’d remind you of him. Shamefully you’d admit that sometimes the smell mixed with his signature cologne, would automatically drop you to your knees (don’t worry girl, me too), not that he minded. Honestly he loves seeing you from above, it just engraves the power dynamic between you two into his psychotic little brain, inflating his ego more than it already is. god he hated you, but oh how he was in love with you even more, infatuated and obsessed- feeding his desire of seeing you crying your pretty eyes out because of him, shouting with your pretty voice at him, pulling at your pretty hair because of him. Yeah, he’s (very much more than) borderline insane, but girl, as soon as you learn the rules of his games, he’ll wish he never started it.

a/n: guys if your s/o reflects any behaviour above- LEAVE. this is not meant to be normal!! This piece is not in any way condoning toxic behaviour- just a little writing task seeing what I can come up with

#something I started ages ago and decided to finish #YALL IM SORRY BUT IM GON HAVE TO HOLD OFF PART 4 FOR A BIT LONGER #work is killing me and I have easter break to catch up😭😞 #pls take this as a peace offering🙌🏼🙂

[yanderederee]

hi hii, just saw your new event and- wow✨

wanted to ask if i may join in with ran and rindou :3

Thank you so so much for participating and requesting for this event lovelies!!♡ (sorry if my inbox status is hard to read;-;) ! I really hope you enjoy my headcanons!!♡

yandere mbti event page : here!

Ran Haitani - CAML

Cruel:Aware:Manipulative:Lenient

Ran can sometimes teeter between being reverent and Cruel, but more times than not, I believe Ran is often harsh.

Loves to praise his darling and spoil them rotten, but Ran is sadistic, his heart just pounds watching his dalring cry♡

Not cruel like Hanma; Ran is Cruel in the way that he likes when things make you mad or teasing you too far. He tries not to be the reviving end of your wrath for sake of wanting to be on your good side… but it does turn him on a little.

You’re just so cute when you scream at him for flipping your skirt up to “check what his lucky color for the day is”. (Any other oho asa horoscope followers?)

Always makes up with you for his cruel deeds by doing more kind acts. Again, he teeters reverent in the way he praises everything about you, has your back in every decision you make and fulfills your every wish no matter who what’s at stake.

Ran’s hyper-aware of little changes that go on behind your expressions. Ran can read you like a preschool book. There’s no point in hiding anything from him; because he will point out your lies and force you into telling him everything anyway.

Also isn’t one who likes to falsify who you are, or how you feel about him. He’s quite charismatic anyway, so as long as long as he’s careful, he doesn’t need to worry too much. He’s confident in being able to make you fall in love with him with personality and looks alone.

Ran has never considered his actions as wrong. Or, he does, but doesn’t care. He hurts people everyday for any minor fault he deems worthy.

So when he reasons that he will do anything to protect you? Hurting, killing, dismembering, or mutilating—nothing is beyond unreasonable, for your sake.

Ran is manipulative as hell.

To circle back, Ran would rather stay on your good side, if possible. He’s not beyond being honest with you about his delinquencies, but Ran likes lying about the truth.

Ran likes to lie and tease you. “You saw someone outside your window last night? It was probably just a shadow playing a trick on you~.” It Definitely wasn’t him. “You’re so cute when you’re delirious~ maybe I should come over and watch you sleep, just in case… fufu, I’m kidding doll.”

Similarly to how he wants to be on your good side, Ran will be choosingly Lenient with you.

Loves the idea of you ribboned and cuffed to his room with only a cute piece of lingerie on at all times—- but he decides that can wait for worse case scenario. He’d rather you live youthful and fully, experiencing days challenges with him by your side.

* If you start getting too close to realizing his obsessive craze for you, he gets pretty harsh with his gaslighting. So what if you caught some guy with braids in an ally beating your coworker to death after your shift? You couldn’t prove it was him, because it wasn’t him. You understand how mean it is to blame someone for murder right? So stop looking at him like he was some damn ghost.

* But if the cat’s out of the bag, it’s out. If he ever becomes discovered, I can see him changing into CAHS personality type. Forced to become honest, and restricting you into become more akin to a pet than a person. He would like to delay this change as far as he can, but that’s entirely dependent on you.

Rindou Haitani - RAHS

Reverent:Aware:Honest:Strict

Rindou HATES being mean to his darling!! When Rindou falls in love, his whole heart is in it. When you make an appearance in his life and inevitably change his way of thinking, Rindou is absorbed with being loved by you.

Similar to Baji in the way his Reverence is less like worshipping and more like protecting. Rindou thinks you’re perfect; that you can do no wrong, and redeemable in all things, including hurting him.

Rindou may have a few daydream-delusions of his darling falling for him like a princess would to her knight in shining armor, wishing you would look at him like he hung the stars, and crave him the same way he craves you.

But he acknowledges reality, and realizes he has to be genuinely careful in approaching you in order for that to happen. Rindou is perceptive and aware of your genuine emotions and thoughts of him.

With a reputation like his, he knows you might have some concerns with being around him. So, he actively makes an effort in showing you who he is.

Rindou likes being genuine with you. As his darling, he feels you may be able to truly understand him, if you’re given the chance…

So, Rindou finds being manipulative rather difficult. He’ll honestly own up to his poor behaviors, and ask for your forgiveness. Now, this can obviously depend on the behavior in question, but Rindou is careful enough to hold himself back while in your company, or with what behaviors reach your ears.

Also likes to keep the image you see of him in a positive light. He might not be perfect, but he was real with you and made you feel genuinely safe.

Now.. hear me out. Rindou is most Strict than he likes to believe. He’s not overbearing like locking you up and keeping you to himself.

But he does gift you cute pieces of jewelry often. They’re always so cute, you end up always wearing at least one or multiple of the Tracking Device imbedded accessories.

He knows your every move. Your every calorie intake. Your every breath is being recorded. It’s all for your safety, of course.

Is very particular with who you spend your time with or who you speak to. Is the type to secretly beat the shit out of Anyone he doesn’t recognize who talks to you too long, takes up too much of your time, or acts remotely unpleasant towards you.

Rindou is less thrilled by the idea of locking you away, if only because he knows the action will make you dislike him. And all Rindou ever wants is to feel loved by you…

[packsvlog]

──── .𖥔˚ 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍, toji ⋆.˚

✶ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you had been taught that everything that happens, is the best it could be. meeting fushiguro toji was the second highlight of your life, losing him was your lowest point. you kept strong for your children for ten years, until he suddenly comes back — and maybe, that’s the best bittersweet gift life can give you, as an apology for the past.

✶ 𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i cried lots and lots while writing this, hope you all have fun, cause i didn’t. divider.

✶ 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬: angst with a bit of fluff / domestic violence (not from toji) / fem!reader / curse!au / mention and description of blood, death, guns / sexual innuendo / foul language / smoking / slightly ooc!toji and ooc!megumi (they cry) / reader is tsumiki’s mom / english is not my first language.

✶ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.2k

It could be said that life had a wicked way of granting you wishes and getting them back, but you had always been so optimistic, so satisfied with whatever was throw your way. Never understanding that this force of nature had been either protecting you, or making you go the right path. It took some time, turbulences, weakness, but you followed your instincts, and eventually, your heart.

You had a daughter of your own with your ex husband, Hasuko, who had been nothing but a terrible man. You could handle the verbal abuse towards you, but when he set his eyes on Tsumiki and started to be verbally aggressive to her, you knew it was time to step up.

The little baby had just turned eight months, and you were alone in this world with her lovely presence and the tempestuous personality of Hasuko — he was rude and borderline dangerous, his jealousy had made you leave your old life behind, so you were dependent on him.

Everyday, you kept stealing from his wallet whenever he went to sleep or got drunk, he was a terrible gambler and never suspected, no matter the amount you took, but you still had care, and only when Tsumiki was almost two, you managed to scape to a crappy hotel room, far away enough from the putrid smell of your husband and his hard hand.

It was by the moon light and weirdly looking hotel’s pool you met a man offering you a cigarette. It’s all he did, sitting in a sun chair by your side, and giving you the white stick you gracefully took it, thanking him with barely a whisper.

“You’re A7, right?” He wondered, and it takes you by surprise and makes you uneven how he knows your room. “Don’t worry, I only know because I’m A14, right in front of you. That baby of yours kept crying last night and today all day, that’s why I’m giving you the cigarettes, you must be tired.”

“I’m sorry, she’s just in a new place, we weren’t used to getting out of the house.” You take a puff of the cigarette, while your mind screams at you to shut up.

“May I take a guess?” The man holds his tie before undoing it. You hesitantly nod. “You are running away. By the purple on your cheeks and the marks on your neck, I’d say from your husband.” You stare at your bruised knuckles to avoid his stare. “Also can see you can fight, good. How did you left him?”

“In the middle of the night…” Your voice is cracking before you gulp the tears away. “I put her in the car, when I got back in the house for our things he was awake.” You stare at the unknown male. “I might have punched him a few times, and hit him with a pan. I don’t know. He tried to go to her, and I acted on impulse.”

“Nothing is more powerful than a mother’s love or rage, and sometimes both can create a terrible chaotic fusion for the receiver of it.” You agree to his words by again smoking. “Let me tell you something, the same shit happened to me, I was the child in the situation. I know you don’t know me, but I can help you, let me help you, like a stranger did with my mom many years ago.”

That was the day you met Shiu Kong, and that was the time your life became better, even if just for some years, you owned Shiu everything — your job as his assistant, the house you bought for your daughter and you, and most importantly, that you met Fushiguro Toji through him.

And how wonderful grateful you had been for your friend and Toji, had they never crossed your life, you had no ideia what would you be like right now, it’s not something you would like to know or keep wasting time thinking about. You see the present and you love it, as the gift life has been giving you since the day you left Hasuko behind.

The man tracked you down once, after you send him the divorce papers months later, he found you in a matter of weeks. Knocking at your door, screaming insults in that tone you knew was carried with lots of alcohol and as you held your daughter with all your strength, Toji happened to be at your house, getting details about his next mission, and he walked calmly to the entrance. You didn’t heard much, the only sound was the constant blood flowing through your veins in inhuman speed, scaring you terribly. But the man returned — ripped knuckles painted red, satisfying smirk and your papers signed with a trembling signature and blood prints.

“It’s alright. He is not coming back.” Was all Toji said before grabbing your anxious self to his arms, Tsumiki sleeping peacefully on top of you. “You can rest now.”

After two months, Toji learned more about you, and specially your hate for gambling.

“It’s something my ex would do all the time, Shiu used to as well, but I stopped him. That’s how he has more money nowadays, and so do I, because my salary increased.” You tell Toji under the kitchen orange light, preparing salmon with veggies for dinner. You add a pinch of salt before turning to face him, in his comically large sweater. “You could do much more, Toji, much better.”

His past it’s not a secret he tried to keep from you, he just never said anything because you haven’t asked. The truth of his wife passing and his baby of one year was something you learned when Shiu, always the babysitter, begged you to take care of Megumi earlier that day, which prompted you to this conversation, he had to be better for his son.

You did babysat happily and set both babies in your living room, playing games, mumbling gibberish, painting your walls. You had been so broken by Hasuko, his rage to Tsumiki made you allow her to be a child freely now, and children get messy, and this mess becomes a memoir.

When Toji came to pick his son up, he was baffled at the crayons Megumi was holding, and the fact you were laughing and encouraging his antics in your perfect cream wall. But he dared not to complain, for inside your eyes he saw that sparkle he noticed missing the first time he saw you. How dull you had been in the beginning, and now you were getting happy and safe. He couldn’t tell you no in that moment, couldn’t waste his money like he intended to, Toji trusted you and your judgment more than he trusted himself.

“Alright.” He agrees while getting up and starting to mash the potatoes. “I’ll stop gambling under one condition: go out with me. Let me do something more productive with the money.”

And you say yes, hesitantly of course, you still have deeply unseen scars forged by the past. But when you steal a glance at Toji, sitting in your dinning table, feeding his baby while you feed yours, you can’t help but allow the nerves to dissipate just a little.

It’s enough to stop the trembling of your fingers when he takes you to a fancy restaurant, wearing a black silk shirt you could guess Shiu made him buy that day, same as he did with you and the equal black silk dress you are wearing. You both smile in acknowledgment, but say nothing of it, except when Toji starts to compliment you, and in the middle of your crimson cheeks and biting your red tinted lips, like a teenager, you thank him.

Is easy to be with Toji anywhere, but in that formal space the two of you are left uncomfortable, specially while reading the menu and not understanding the meaning of anything, Toji cracks a joke about the restaurant name that makes you snort loud. The male smirks proudly.

“Would you think I’m an asshole if I say we should leave here and go eat at this small diner I know?” He asks.

“No, I would thank you very much.” Inching your face closer to his, you answered quietly.

Toji gets up and moves your way, standing you his hand, not knowing that the moment yours would come in contact, it would fix perfectly, electrically enough to shake something in both of your core. The two of you leave with contempt smiles, reaching the diner later that night and eating the most amazing hamburger you’ve had.

Life with Fushiguro Toji is meant to be, you could say. Like finding the final piece of your most difficult puzzle, and your life, you could assume, was an incredibly detailed one. But the man fit in it so well, right by the center, you wonder if he was always meant to be yours, and you already now the answer.

It clicks in the male as well how much you mean to him, so it takes no one by surprise how he has you in a court, a year later, marrying him with Shiu as a crying witness and your babies by your side. And in that same day, you both officially adopt the other’s child.

It’s how it was always meant to be, the domesticated feeling of being happy and secure, and fully loved to an extent no other heart could catch, it’s what you all deserve. Your little family.

Unfortunately, happiness last for only four more years. It’s all life give to you, this less than a decade love that you will never forget, every minimal detail is entangled in your memories, all painted by your lover, with his gentle and yet brutal hands. You still remember how the end began, it was with Toji coming home stressed, with blood covering his whole body — he had been in a fight.

“I fucked up.” It’s the first thing he blurted when he comes your way, embracing you quickly. “We have to leave, they are coming for us. For our son.”

The drop of your heart is a feeling you constantly had after that day, but at that time, it was just a sample of the biggest pain you would ever feel. What Toji meant was a secret he told you in the beginning, when he was a dumb young man, recently widowed and with no ideia for how to care for a baby he did the unthinkable, although a part of him imagined he was doing what was right — he sold his son for the Zen’in, his old clan.

“They have a tracker, is a boy with the technique of tracking anything he wants. With our shared blood, he can catch us, but if we move away from Tokyo his power might not work.” Toji cautioned the options with you that night, while you both are sitting by the dinner table, your kids are sleeping in their shared bedroom. “We can go to Korea with the help of Shiu, but I fear it’ll still be too close.”

“Do we have money for this, Toji?” Is all you ask, knowing for a fact the answer won’t be positive. Toji stopped the hit man job after one year married, deciding to work as a mechanic in the small town you both moved to. He signs no with his head, and you feel like crying rivers.

“I can ask Shiu.” Toji whispers. “One last job, good payment, enough to leave it all behind.”

It’s like a dejavu feeling, you wished you had payed more attention to the uneasiness of that sentence, as a warning of life. You didn’t like his job, but you worked in the same bloodied industry not long ago, so you nod, scared and shaking. You don’t want him to taint his soul anymore, but it’s the only way to save your son.

You both go to sleep hugging each-other that night, and every other. All minimal spare moments are with family, cherishing what you have, giving him strength to fight again and for you to not crumble in front of everyone. But you desperately should’ve had, maybe he would’ve found another job, another way.

Is the day before he leaves, before you and the kids leave the house as well and move to an apartment complex in the city, that way Megumi’s smell wont be easily noticed, you both hope.

Toji’s face is kissed by the dining area light, his attention is on your son and his yapping about his dogs — the reason for the Zen’in clan to be coming your way. Megumi is on the tracks to become someone powerful, and they want to tear your boy down piece by piece, removing all the love and protection you gave to transform him into something more cold and brutal.

Toji’s eyes are glossy with the tears of guilt, of despair towards his younger self, so stupid, so young and unprepared. If he knew, if he had waited — the deal was done by the same time you’ve met Shiu. His head is spiraling with the many “ifs” and possibilities. Toji breaks down crying for the first time in his life, taking everyone by surprise.

“Papa.” Gumi’s infant voice is accompanied by your husband’s hiccups. “Papa, I love you so much, don’t cry.”

“I love you too, Megumi. I love all of you, with all of my heart. I’m sorry.” He confess the last towards you. Toji is desperate, feeling he ruined your whole lives, and maybe he did, but you don’t love him any less.

That night, your whole family is together in your bedroom, all sleeping in your large bed, unknown to all of you that would be the last time. Although you and Toji could feel in your hearts. He held you and the babies all on top of his large chest, hoping that he could move away in that moment, to take your pain and sorrows away.

You couldn’t find yourself the opening to cry in his presence. So you didn’t, you hold the tears behind you eyes and your hiccups in your throat as much as you could. In front of your new apartment, you kissed him goodbye with dry lips and he held you enough to bruise your waist, but it didn’t hurt.

“Please, come back for me.” You beg when you two separate, Shiu is in the background in the van, equally sad face. “Both of you. Come back home, and we will be fine. It’s just a small job.”

You don’t know, in fact, he didn’t told you. Toji just said the amount of money, and to not worry your pretty head. You trust him, dumbly. If you knew you would have stopped him.

“I’ll always love you. Thank you for this beautiful family, for making me a better man, for becoming my wife, the mother of our children. I love you in every life possible.” It was like he knew, and so he departs from your hug with a last long kiss and waved goodbye to the kids in the balcony, he goes for the van and stares at you, until he is gone.

He is gone.

“He is gone.” Is what Shiu whisper to you, weeks later, hands keeping your balance when you fall down on your knees. Your hands go straight to your belly, where the small baby bump is forming. “He got the money, so you can leave at any time now.”

You stare at Shiu as if he had grow two more heads.

“Y/n, you have to leave, angel. It’s what you were supposed to do, that’s the plan.”

“No! The plan was for him to come back and we move together. I can’t be without him, Shiu. I can’t.” You sob more and more on his shoulders, not noticing the two shadows in the children’s room, ears glued to the door, hearing it all.

When you finally go to your bed, sleeping with the scent of Toji’s pillow, you sense the bed dipping, opening your eyes you foolish hoped it was Toji, but you see someone identical, younger. Megumi, Tsumiki and you all cuddle in that bed, like that last night. You all cry silently, hoping individually for it all to be a terrible nightmare, and for when the day comes Toji be there, by the kitchen making pancakes with fruit smiles — what you met, in fact, is the person who killed your husband, Gojo Satoru.

You know everything about him and his technique that works as a protection barrier, but that doesn’t stop you from shooting him multiple times in the alley by your apartment — and he lets you, that angers you more. He is just a boy, you can see, but he killed Toji.

“Are you done?” The smoke coming from the gun touched your face when Satoru asks, a bit annoyed, a bit sad. “I’m here because your husband asked me to.”

“Stop lying!” You snap through gritted teeth.

“I’m not lying, please, let me tell you everything.” Satoru begs. You’re tired and sad, so you let him come inside, the gun although empty and useless, stays in your hand.

Gojo starts to explain the whole story while you serve him milk tea with honey, his hands are trembling as much as yours, you notice when he grabs the cup.

“Your husband got involved in the killing of a young girl, in the Jujutsu world, she was an important vessel, there was a large quantity of money for her head. My job was to protect her, but I failed. He finished his job, he almost killed me.” Gojo sips the tea before clenching his jaw, and adding more honey to it. “I went searching for him after healing myself, and…” He hesitated “… his last words was for me to help his family. I shouldn’t, but something tugged me here. So you might never forgive me, and I’m fine with that, but let me do what he asked, you don’t even have to see me, I’ll just give you money and protection.”

“He asked you to save our son from the Zen’in?” He nods. “I hate you, Gojo Satoru, for taking away my husband from me. But i accept your help, just don’t let them fuckers near my son.”

Gojo uplifted your life in a precisely and quickly way. First, he moved your family from that crappy apartment to one in a penthouse with full security, the kids were enrolled in a private school with a driver to always take them everywhere needed, specially Megumi. All was taken care for them, the price the Zen’in paid for your son, was given back by you, through the money your husband won before his death. That didn’t stoped them from trying to get your family, some ways more violent than others, but unlike Gojo, they weren’t bulletproof.

Soon, your name started to grow in the Jujutsu World. The wife of Toji, the human that kills sorceress. Everyone avoids your way and your aim, always hitting your target. That’s how you spend your time, after all. Deciding to take after your husband, but instead of killing innocents (something you don’t know you could ever forgive him, after learning Riko’s history), you track down what could be called the bad guys — sorceress that went bad, man who abuse their partners and children. Anyone who needs a cleanse, comes for you.

Gojo doesn’t aprove of it, but he neves dare to complain to you, he thinks you are strong enough to one day be capable of killing him. It’s in your eyes, the dread and hate you have for him. Your son and daughter don’t know this little secret of your job or what he did to their father, is a promise you both agreed on. Their memories aren’t stained by blood, and you may hate how much Tsumiki loves Gojo or Megumi fails to hides his adoration, but it is for the best.

Gojo saved you.

Ten years later, the world collapses, beginning in Shibuya. You weren’t a Jujutsu Sorcerer, through rectangle glasses gifted by Satoru you could see the curses, but that was not your line of job, never would’ve been. You were terribly anxious in your house, watching at the television, with Tsumiki and Fumiko, by your side. Your phone rings somewhere, your youngest daughter moves to get it before giving it to you.

“It’s Megs.” Fumiko muttered.

“Baby, talk to me.” You commanded to the phone, getting up from the table and moving to your car keys, already leaving the apartment. Your daughters coming behind, you knew they should stay, but they were stubborn, like their father. “Megumi?”

“Mom, Gojo… He is sealed.” Megumi cried on the phone, making your heart break more and more. “Please, I don’t want to die.”

“You won’t die, love. I’m coming already.” The car ignited your answer, you pass the phone to Tsumiki before you are racing the streets. You couldn’t tell earlier if it was luck or not to be living near Shibuya in that moment, but now you knew, you were exactly where you were meant to be. “Where are you, baby?”

“I’m hiding from this guy, I’m sending the location.” Is silent before he speaks again.” I… I can’t see his face, there is too much blood on my eyes.” You whimper at this. “Mom, there is no cursed energy in him, but he is so strong. He beat Nanami and a curse with volcano head and…”

“What? And what, Megs?” You panicked at his sudden silence, you are just some blocks away from his location.

“He’s here.” Then is silence.

The last time you prayed was years ago, the night you were told of the death of your husband. Your hands were tangled enough that no one could separate them, and your words of pleas and begs could shake any mountains out of earth. Today, though, you don’t have time to get on your knees and beg any deity for help. You only have the guns on your car, and your daughters by your side.

“You both stay here.” You ordered while parking the car in a dark alley. “If a curse or that man comes, Tsumiki you drive away, hear me?” The girl nods. “I love you both.”

You leave the car with fast steps towards the building, but before you can even enter, someone jumps from the windows in the building behind you, turning quick, you catch your son jumping in the roof of your car, before running your way.

“HE’S COMING.” Megumi screams, blood that falls from his head go inside his mouth, making him choke before falling in your arms. The man, you soon see, falls a second later. “Mom, please stay behind me.”

Your poor baby is weak, with his trembling figure, he has lost a lot of blood, you can’t let him fight alone — you didn’t came here for nothing, after all. You sigh, grabbing Megumi’s gaze, a sweet smile is all you give him.

“I’ll get his attention, you run to the car.” You can sense the protest coming, but a slight change in your eyes makes Megumi be quiet and nod.

The man, you stare at him, is creeping in the shadows of the buildings, moonlight only on his back, hiding his face away from you. That’s not what matter, but the fact he is casually leaning on your car, where your daughters are, that pisses you off. He knows they are there, he is taunting you to try anything, like a predador — he can either bite your neck off, or your pups. And you can’t shoot him either, afraid that you might hurt Tsumiki or Fumiko.

With hands empty of guns, you walk, because you know that’s what he wants, the thrill of coming your way. Your son is far away when the man moves. Is a second, and he is in front of you, his hands reaching for a punch in your abdomen before his full black eyes catch yours, a second later, turning dark blue. He doesn’t punch you, but Toji takes your breath away.

Toji. It’s been some time since you said his name, even in your mind. The man is always there, much like your wedding ring is always on your finger, but you don’t say his name for the fear it might burn in your heart or tongue. You wonder if this is all real, is it’s really him, but your questions receive their answers when he moves back, hands never touching you.

There is confusion in his face, at the same time, you catch pain in it — a perfect mirror of your own expression, you could say. This time, you move towards him quicker, before jumping to his arms, and the way he holds you back tells you everything you need to know, that your husband is here, by some miracle or prayed answered, Toji exists in this moment.

The tears are falling from your face in the same chaotic way they did the day you found he was dead, but this time a small smile is present. Toji puts you down, but his hug only deepens.

“You’re here.” You cried in his arms before leaving it for an instant, raising your hands to hold his pretty face, although numb in his eyes, he was smiling through his own tears. “You’re not- - not exactly you, huh.”

“No, baby. I’m not.” His hoarse voice has your legs shaking. Gods, you missed him so much, but you were so happy that it was just like you remembered, ten years would never make you forget him. “I’m sorry I took so long to come back, that I couldn’t keep my promise.”

“It’s okay, my love. You are here again.” It’s instant, and you’re kissing him, much like the last time, your dry lips are mesmerized by him, and your brain gets foggy by his presence, his scent.

“MOM?!” A shout comes from behind Toji, making you both separate. Megumi is by your car, your daughters out of the vehicle, all with shocked expressions that make you quietly giggle.

“Is it them?” Toji catch’s you attention, he hasn’t turned around yet, you nod and he gulps. “I - - I didn’t knew it was him, I would never hurt him.”

“I know.” You grab his hand, making him follow you to your children. When his face gets light up by the moon, you don’t move more before Megumi and Tsumiki are jumping in his arms, loud hiccups escaping their throats, while the trio melts into hugs. You stare fondly at the scene before feeling a pull on your jacket, and grabbing the little hand you walk closer. “Love, there is someone you should meet.” Your oldests step back, allowing Fumiko to be presented. “You didn’t know back then, but this is Fumiko, our daughter.”

Toji descends to his knee gracefully, more tears coming from his eyes. The man open his arms, and Fumiko stares at you, wondering, before you even finish your nod, she is already on his embrace, Toji kisses her forehead, moving up and allowing once again for his other children to hug him.

“I’m so sorry I missed all of you growing up. I was trying to keep you all safe, and I’m happy you are now.” Toji wailed, staring at them before at you, in front of him, kissing his lips once again.

“We are fine, my love. There is no Zen’in, the Gojo boy helped us.” He nods at you, before staring at his family. How things should be.

You sense your heartbreaking like that day of the mission, when the gears of destiny started to move against your favor, and you know in that moment, he can’t be here forever — his soul is not present anymore, it’s only a gift of life to repair all the pain it has given you. Toji hears your hiccups, and he nods in understand. Ten years away, and he still knows you better than anyone.

Putting Fumiko down, he kisses the children foreheads, before a hug with all of you.

“I want you all to know, I’m proud of you. No matter what you do, your father loves you endless. This family is my heaven, and I’m happy to have this chance of goodbye.”

“Go to the car, I’ll be right back, okay?” The kids nod at you, individually hugging their dad one more time before going inside the vehicle.

You and your husband move towards the building, the door closes, and soon he has you cornered, attacking your lips with a much needed kiss than before. You answer fast, letting his hands roam your body, much like yours — you missed all of him terribly, and this was your hope of engraving Toji in your dna, for those future nights, yet alone.

Toji takes you there, against that door, like a madman, you let him because you wanted it as much as him. How badly had you missed being touched by your husband, no pain in the world could compare to the emptiness of having all this love to give, and nowhere to empty it. But you did it now, showering him with the ten years of hidden affection. He devoured your attention.

It’s much later when you both are dressed again, none of you want to knowledge the miserable truth that he has to go. You catch his shaking hands and sweat in his head, it’s a sign he can’t be in here anymore.

“I’ve never stopped loving you,” You whispered into his empty chest, no beating heart matching your frantic one, “Nor do I think I’ll ever do so.”

“Good.” Toji exclaimed. “Really good, ‘cause I plan on seeing you in the afterlife, and I’m not letting you go anywhere ever again.” He leave kisses on your head before sighing.

“You really have to go?” Is a silent cry in a question. You stare up at his blue eyes, empty of brightness and yet full of love. “We could find a way to make you stay.”

“There isn’t, doll. This is all we have, and it was so worthy. Seeing you again, so pretty, so mine, our babies all grown as well.” Toji lick his lips. “I wish we had another chance, but as I said before, on our last day, I love you in every possible life.”

“I love you as well, in this life, in the next as well. We will see each other again.” He nods at your words. “We are safe, no need to worry, just take your alone time in the afterlife, because as soon as I get there, you are all mine.”

“I can’t wait.” Toji kisses you one more time, before hugging you tight and moving away slowly, walking backwards so his attention is all on you. “Promise me you won’t be going there too soon, like I did. Be here for our babies, okay? I’ll always be waiting.”

“I promise, my love.”

Toji grabs a metal pipe from a nearby table, and you know what he is going to do. He waved at you goodbye before going more deeper in the room, to the shadows away from you. The sound of skin ripping makes your cries louder, and you catch yourself following him, trying to make it stop — just one more minute, one more kiss.

You reach the body, and it’s not him. Although, a breeze whispers into your skin, like soft kisses to your tears, you smile through the pain. He is gone, but he was here, his love is all over you. He is gone, but he is waiting for you somewhere, loving you endlessly, through time and space and the afterlife, forever.