#i went from feeling p okay to feeling p awful and upset w myself.

[lxngbottom]

Cramps. | N.L. (+ D.T & S.F.)

in which the reader is having a really bad period, so her three best friends come and check up on her.

warnings: pain, periods, bleeding, swearing, we know how it is.

i’m on my period rn, & these three boys are my fav characters so this is mostly to comfort me (and idk if you guys can even relate, but my periods get THIS bad) (edit: this was NOT supposed to be this long but oh well i love these three)

gryffindor reader! (but anyone can read obv)

—

somehow, you had managed to make it through the previous school day. but, the whole time your stomach felt like it was completely turning on you, and with every step you took, the bleeding was so heavy. you couldn’t even remember the last time you went through so many pads and tampons in one day.

on top of that, you were an absolute emotional wreck. and, that became apparent to neville when seamus laughed over tripping over your shoe lace, and you looked up at your three best friends with tears in your eyes.

“merlin, y/n! i was only messing with you! what’s wrong?” seamus furrowed his eyebrows at you, only for you to bend down and groan in pain as you attempted to tie your loose shoe laces.

“i can’t do it!” you whined, a tear finally escaping your tired eyes. you stood up, and sniffled, not noticing the genuine concerned looks plastered across the three boys’s faces.

and then, if things couldn’t get any worse, you felt someone tap your shoulder. you turned around to meet a terrified looking ron and harry, staring down at your legs,

“y-y-y/n... blood! t-t-there’s blood running down your legs!”

you looked down, and sure enough, there was a bunch of it. you automatically began to cry, and the sobbing only got worse as you realized that this was happening in front of not one, not two, but five boys.

“nev—neville... p-please give me your jacket...” you choked out, rushing as the blood seeped between your thighs. he did so quickly, tossing it to you, and your tied it around your waist before running into the nearest bathroom.

“why would you point that out?” dean asked ron, eyeing him,

“what?! would it be better for her to stay like that the rest of the day?” the ginger snapped back, still not putting two and two together. ron wasn’t exactly wrong, but his execution was awful.

the boys sighed, deciding that maybe waiting outside the bathroom would do you some good. but, unfortunately, as 15 minutes passed, you never came out.

“m-m-maybe someone should go and get hermione. or lavendar. or one of the parvati twins?” neville suggested, scratching the back of his neck. seamus shrugged, honestly clueless on how to handle the whole situation.

luckily, a saving grace skipped by, grabbing the attention of all of the boys,

“ginny!” ron called out, and she stopped in her tracks, “thank merlin you’re here!”

the look on her face was questionable as harry, ron, neville, dean, and seamus all stared at her.

“w-what?”

dean spoke up first, more than concerned, “y/n went in there. she—she had—blood running down her legs. and, she started crying...”

that’s all it took for ginny to nod her head, “okay. you guys go ahead. i’ll take care of her!”

they did so reluctantly, more so your three best friends. as ron and harry wanted to be away from the whole scenario as soon as possible.

and, that was the last they heard from you yesterday. today, they waited for you to come down from the girl’s dorm, but you never came.

they waited for you in the great hall, but again, you never came.

little did they know, you were curled up in a ball on your bed, sobbing from the excruciating pain that filled your whole body. this cycle was hitting you like a truck, and you’d wished that somehow you had been more prepared for it.

hermione had left you reluctantly that morning, never seeing a fellow girl having such a bad period before. you had cried all night, and you and her both had barely gotten any sleep. so that’s why when neville saw hermione drifting off to sleep during a shared class, he was absolutely baffled.

as that same class ended, the three boys caught up with hermione,

“hey, granger! where’s y/n?” seamus asked, and she rubbed her eyes.

“she—um—“ a yawn interrupted her response, “she’s in our dorm. she doesn’t feel well.”

neville’s mouth went agape, and he finally put two and two together.

“i wouldn’t go and see her, though. you guys embarrassed her yesterday. she told me all about ronald, and ginny, and seamus. she’s really upset, and... she’s just in a lot of pain. so, just let her be for a while.”

and with that, she left the three boys. they gave each other weird looks, mentally questioning each other.

you on the other hand at this time, were crying as you changed out your bed sheets for the second time that day. it wasn’t necessarily the most comfortable experience to have to explain to a house elf why you needed a bunch of new clean sheets.

dinner soon came, and even then, the boys expected to see you sitting with them, eating and laughing. but, you still hadn’t left that dorm.

so, neville packed some extra food, and the three made a journey to gryffindor tower, just to see if they could break the rules to make sure you weren’t dying. (of course, all three of them were convinced that you were on your death bed.)

they slipped past the prefect, climbing up the stairs to your dorm.

dean was just about to knock when they all heard your voice,

“stop, hermione! please! i don’t care that i missed my classes! i’ve been puking all day, bled on my bed, almost shit my pants four times, so, i really don’t care about snape and what he said about me! piss off!”

seamus’s lips curled, and the sound he let out could only be described as pure disgust. but, neville nudged him,

“she can’t help it. don’t be like that...” he whispered, still not sure if you were alright with visitors at the moment.

“well, i’m sorry! but, dean, neville, and seamus are all worried about you! they—“

that’s when they heard a blood curdling scream, and it sounded exactly like you. it made them jump,

“I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! FUCK!”

“don’t say that! it’s only for a few days, y/n! i told you i would help you with anything you needed!”

“then you can start by fucking off! go away!”

the boys looked at each other,

“maybe—“

“yeah—“

“later.”

they all mutually agreed, and ran down the stairs before hermione had the chance to see them.

they settled in the common room, deciding to do their homework until they knew it was a safe call to go and see you. they all worried about you tremendously, as they had never heard you talk to a fellow friend like that. you simple weren’t that type of person in their eyes. you had always been patient with people, so it was a wonder to them how you loved them so much.

they spotted ginny, walking up to the girl’s dormitories with a glass of ice cream in hand. they naturally assumed it was for you. and truth be told, when ginny entered with a sweet smile on her face, holding the cold treat, you realized you had never been more happy to see a weasley before.

as pathetic as it sounded, you cried to ginny while eating the chocolate ice cream. you sobbed to her about all the events of that day, and the day before. your crush on neville and how you believed he didn’t feel the same, the way that seamus chewed too loudly, and how hermione was too uptight sometimes. she simply listened, knowing that’s all she could really do.

finally, the three boys saw ginny coming down the the glass now empty, and they ran up to her,

“is she okay?”

“what’s happening?”

“can we go and see her?”

she chuckled and shook her head them, “she’s fine, you guys. calm down. i’m not so sure if she’ll want to see you guys, but you guys can sure try.”

they all three looked at each other, slightly terrified.

but, they sucked it up and made their way up again. of course, seamus couldn’t hold back from making a snide comment,

“i swear, if i get a book thrown at my head and end up in the hospital wing with a concussion, i’m blanking it on neville.”

“why me?!” neville scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air,

“because! you fancy her and are the most worried about her! she’s just on her period! is it really that big of a deal?”

before neville could answer, dean cut in, “yes, seamus. it is a big deal. maybe not to us, but to her it is. try bleeding out of your dick for a week while your inside are ripping apart!”

if you would’ve been present, you definitely wouldn’t hugged dean for that one.

they finally arrived, and they argued for a moment over who would be the once to knock on the door. it felt like they were stepping into a death trap. finally, neville agreed to do it.

he did so gently,

“what?” you asked, “who is it?”

dean and seamus eyed each other, definitely panicking.

“erm—it’s... us...”

you groaned, and looked down at your state. you were only in your bra and underwear, trash bucket in your lap, nausea getting the best of you... again.

but, you figured seeing your three best friends would bring you some comfort. this wasn’t their fault, and you didn’t want to take it out on them anymore.

“um... you can come in, but warning! i’m—“

before you could warn them, the door flew open,

“naked...” you breathed out, looking down at the trash can.

they all went wide eyed, and neville covered dean and seamus’s eyes with his hands, and closed his own.

“close the door, you gits!”

neville did so with his foot, still covering everyone’s eyes. you let out a small chuckle at the fact, and shook your head.

“you guys can look, you know. you act like we haven’t been best friends since first year.”

“b-b-but you’re—naked!” dean responded, through neville still keeping his own hand over the boy’s face.

you pursed your lips as you felt vomit climbing it’s way up your throat, “who—“

that’s when they heard it. the violent sound of puking. neville thanked merlin that his eyes were closed, because he probably would’ve puked too.

“who cares?” you breathed out, wiping the slobber from your chin. that’s when seamus took neville’s hand away from his eyes, and realized how you looked.

you looked unrecognizable almost. you looked exhausted, pale, and like you had just been hit by twenty cars at one time. your eyes were all puffy and red from crying, and your hair was definitely not put together like it usually was. makeup was smeared all down your face, makeup from the day before that you simply didn’t have the motivation to get up and wash off. but, seamus couldn’t help but notice your bra and underwear.

“you—“ he chuckled, “you have teddy bears on your undergarments, y/n?”

you clenched your jaw, and tightened your grasp around the trash can, narrowing your eyes at him. his eyes widened,

“kidding! i was only kidding! they suit you well!”

finally, dean shoved neville’s hand off as well, and neville opened his eyes back up reluctantly. neville and dean took in your state, much less of a laughing matter to them, as they were more of the calm friends.

“merlin, y/n... are you alright?” neville asked, approaching you slowly. you shook your head,

“i’m dying...”

the three boys gasped, and you looked at them funny, “i’m kidding... but i feel like i might...”

that settled their nerves a bit, the theory of you dying slowly fading away. you spit in the trash can, and set it back down on the floor. of course, seamus being the curious cat he is, looked in the trash can.

“don’t look at my vomit, finnigan! don’t you have any manners?”

he jumped back, and nodded his head.

“what are you guys doing here, anyway?” you asked, laying down fully on the bed, stomach and legs exposed.

“well—we know—you—you sorta—“

neville sighed at dean’s awkwardness about the whole situation, “we know you’re on your period. and, we know that you’re in a lot of pain. and, we just wanted to come and check up on you.” he glanced at the other two boys, “right?”

“yeah, definitely!”

“totally!”

you giggled at seamus and dean, “oh, what gentlemen. how could i ever thank you?”

seamus couldn’t hold it in. the comment just slipped from his lips,

“well, seeing you in your bra and underwear is thanks enough in my book!” he joked, nudging dean.

surprisingly, the only one who laughed beside seamus... was you. this surprised the boys, as you were sure that would earn seamus that book to his temple, or at least a smack to the face. but, it didn’t.

“see? i told you guys she’s fine! she’s laughing like she always does!”

neville seemed to look over at you for reassurance, just to make sure that seamus hadn’t crossed a boundary with one of his crude jokes. it was something that seamus had done quite a few times, without even realizing it, but it was simply because he didn’t know how to put a filter on. you knew at the end of the day that seamus wasn’t trying to disrespect you. plus, it was something you had go get used to, being one of his best friends and all.

at one point, the boys had eased into the floor, getting things for you if you needed it. seamus even asked why exactly girls even got periods, and you explained it to him in full detail.

“so... like—the inside of your uterus is actually tearing? i thought dean was joking about that!”

you shook your head, “unfortunately, it’s not a joke, finnigan. it’s very real...”

“well, is it this bad for all girls?”

“no, actually. some girls only bleed for a couple of days, and it’s very light. they can go without cramps, puking... lucky bitches!”

that’s when the boys fell silent, even seamus himself. until he raised an eyebrow,

“is it bad that i’m kinda curious? you know—to see how it feels to... bleed... down—there...”

dean furrowed his eyebrows, but neville nodded his head in agreement.

“well, boys... i can’t make you bleed out your dick for seven days straight... but, i can punch you guys in the stomach with full force and show you how cramps feel!”

collectively, they all disagreed, which caused you to fall into a fit of laughter.

“but—it can’t be that bad, right? i mean, everyone can get a stomach ache...” dean questioned, but unsure of what he had just said.

“let me put it to you like this, thomas. imagine the weasley twins sneaking a muggle laxative into your morning pumpkin juice...” you started, “but that stomach pain for a whole week.”

dean put his head down, finally understanding. no wonder you had talked about almost shitting your pants.

that’s when the door swung open, revealing a surprised hermione,

“y/n! where are your clothes?! boys are in here! and plus, they’re not even supposed to be in here, anyway!” she snapped, immediately storming over to your closet, and pulling out a random shirt, throwing it at you.

“but, it’s too hot! and, any tightness hurts!”

“i don’t care! i couldn’t imagine sitting around with ronald and harry with my—lady parts hanging out!”

you chuckled at her hidden shaming, quite used to it by now. “oh, whatever, granger! it’s the same difference as a bathing suit! lighten up!”

seamus and dean snickered at the look on her face, and the way she stormed out.

“she’s right, y/n. not about—you know, we don’t care... but, just—seamus will be talking about it for the rest of his natural life if you keep your clothes off any longer.” neville stated, standing up and taking his sweater off. he passed it to you, making sure not to touch you in anyway that would make you uncomfortable.

you smiled at the kind gesture. sure, it was a sweater, and you probably should choose the lighter t-shirt that hermione had snagged out for you. but, it was neville’s sweater, so, how could you refuse?

you slipped it on over your head, and pulled your hair through the hole. it was quite comfortable, and you were just the right amount of warm and cool. so, it worked out in the end. “thank you, longbottom. that was sweet.”

his face turned red at the small grin etched upon your face, but he shook it off and sat back down on the floor.

you all began talking again, not even noticing when seamus had gotten bored and ancy, and started snooping in your drawers. but, his eyes went wide at the sight of something in your drawer. he picked it up, and stared at it for a moment.

“uh... y/n...” he started, voice a bit shaky, “what’s this?”

he held it up, and you, dean, and neville all looked over.

“that’s a tampon, finnigan. i use it when i’m on my period so the blood doesn’t leak out.”

he took a beat of silence as he connected the dots, and his eyes seemed to widen even more,

“and... you have to put this where exactly?”

[mersuperwholocked-lowlife]

Lost

Word Count: 1,329

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sister!Reader, John Winchester

Pairings: Winchesters x Sister!Winchester

Warnings: a little angsty

A/N: Sorry this is crap, but its the first thing that came to my head

Masterlist

“(Y/N), be strong kiddo, be safe. I have to go, or I’m gonna lose the demon. I’ve got someone calling Sam and Dean here. Stay with the. You helped me so much, but now you need to rest.”, you read the note your dad left you next to your hospital bed.

You’ve been helping your dad find the demon that killed your mom. You weren’t allowed to tell Dean where you were. You weren’t allowed to call him.

“N-No.”, your sight was still blurry, and you could barely sit up. You couldn’t remember what happened, but now, you were in a hospital, and your dad was probably hundreds of miles away. You took your phone and dialed your dad’s number, but it went straight to voicemail.

“D-Dad, you can’t just leave me here. Let me help you. W-We were so close, p-please don’t leave me h-here. I-I don’t wanna go with Sam and Dean.”, you said, your voice breaking in the phone.

You were the middle Winchester, but you were the closest with your dad. He barely yelled at you, and you were always with him. It caused you to get into a lot of fights with Dean when you were younger, but now, you two got along very well. It must’ve been something related to Sam leaving. You knew he would be upset with you for leaving with John, without telling him.

You slowly got out of your hospital bed, and walked to the mirror, struggling to stay standing. You removed a part of your gown, looking at your stomach. There was a huge gash on it, and it was all bloody. You examined other parts of your body, finding cuts and bruises all over. That explained the pain.

“Ma’am, what are you doing up?”, you heard a voice of a nurse walk into your room.

“I’m checking out.”, you exhaled.

It was painful breathing.

“Ma’am, you’re still in critical condition. You need to get back to bed.”, she said.

“No. I’m checking myself out.”, you said, you tried to walk past her, but you could barely make it to her before you passed out.

----

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

“Dean.”, Sam groaned. He turned around and saw Dean still asleep. He sighed, before reaching over to Dean’s phone and picked it up.

“Hello?”, he said.

“Sammy, is that you?”, John said from the other line.

“Dad.”, Sam said, immediately sitting up.

He pushed Dean over, causing him to wake up.

“What?”, he said angrily.

“Dad, where are you?”, Sam asked.

“What? Dad? Give me the phone.”, Dean said.

“I can’t tell you, but listen. Go to Massachusetts General Hospital. Ask for (Y/N) Slokovi.”, John instructed.

“What? (Y/N)?”, Sam asked.

“Put it on speaker! What’s he saying?!”, Dean asked, frustrated.

Sam put the phone on speaker.

“(Y/N) had an accident. She’s in the hospital. Go get her.”, John said.

“What accident? What happened?”, Sam asked.

“I have to go now.”

“Dad wait!”, Sam yelled, but he already ended the call.

“Damn it.”, Sam said.

“Come on, if we leave now, we’ll get to (Y/N) in 4 hours.”, Sam said, getting out of bed.

“Yeah, great.”, Dean said sarcastically.

“Dean, she had an accident. Our sister’s in the hospital.”, Sam said, upset with Dean’s reaction.

“Fine. Let’s go.”, Dean sighed.

“What’s your problem with (Y/N)?”, Sam asked.

“Nothing. Now let’s go.”, Dean grabbed his bags.

“No, clearly something’s up. You’re mad at her or something. What happened?”, Sam asked as he made his bed.

“Don’t worry about it.”, Dean grabbed the last of his supplies and loaded the car, Sam doing the same.

-------

You looked around, the room was pitch black. Your entire body ached. You screamed out for help, nothing answered. You were lost. You were by yourself. You could feel restraints tightly wrapped around your arms and legs. You called out for your dad, you called out for Dean. You were scared and alone.

You woke up for the second time, hearing the hospital machines beeping and the bright light shining in your eyes. Your memory of what happened came back.

“Ugh.”, you groaned, covering your eyes with your arm.

“Great, you’re awake. You gave us all a scare there Ms.Slokovi.”, the nurse said.

“Yeah, okay. Anyways, I’m ready to check out.”, you said.

“I don’t think so. Your father said that your brothers were coming and you weren’t allowed to leave unless it was with them.”, the nurse said.

“Listen up, lady. I’m an adult, I can make my own decisions. So, I’m checking out.”, you spat, and glared at her.

You had to find some way out to help your dad.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t leave.”, she said.

Just then, the door opened, and you saw your brothers. Dean looked mad, while Sam looked upset.

“Sorry, no visitors allowed at the moment.”, she said.

“We’re her family.”, Sam said.

“Oh, okay. Well then, I’ll leave you alone then.”, she took your clipboard and left.

“(Y/N)!”, Sam exclaimed, running to you.

Even though you hadn’t seen Sam for 2 years, you kept your eyes on Dean. You knew he was mad at you. He wouldn’t look you in the eye.

“Hey Sammy.”, you replied after a moment.

“What happened?”, he asked, worried.

“Long story. Hey Dean.”, you said.

“Hey Dean? What, you think just saying hey and everything’ll be fixed?”, Dean said angrily.

“Dean..”, you started.

“No, you listen to me. What happened? It was me and you and Dad. Then you two abandoned me.”, Dean said.

“Dean, I wanted to call you. I wanted to tell you everything, I swear.”, you said.

“Why didn’t you?!”, he yelled.

“Dad didn’t let me. I’m sorry Dean.”, you apologized.

“Yeah, whatever.”, Dean left your room.

You groaned in frustration.

“What happened?”, Sam asked quietly.

“Me and Dad left. We didn’t tell Dean. Dad said not to. We couldn’t tell anyone. It was too dangerous. W-We were going after the demon that killed Mom.”, you explained.

“Y-You found him?”, Sam asked, eyes watering.

“We were so close. That’s when this happened.”, you motioned to the gash on your stomach.

“T-The demon did this to you?”, Sam asked, his voice breaking.

“Aw, please don’t cry, bubba.”, you said.

You held his hand tightly.

“I’m not.”, he said, wiping his eyes.

“Don’t lie to your elders, Sammy.”, you said. You stroked his cheek.

You knew something bad happened to him. You could see it in your eyes.

“What happened with you?”, you asked him.

“M-My girlfriend died. T-The demon killer her.”, Sam said shakily.

“What? Oh god, I’m so sorry Sammy.”, you said.

His eyes watered more. You slowly got up and gave him a hug.

“(Y/N/N), you should be resting.”, Sam said, but he still held you tightly.

“I only rest when my baby bro’s okay.”, you said.

“I missed you.”, he said.

“I missed you too.”, you smiled, kissing his forehead.

You told Sam to go rest, as you slowly walked out to find Dean. He stood outside your door.

“Dean..”, you started.

“Damnit (Y/N).”, he pulled you into an embrace, holding you tightly.

“I’m sorry, Dean.”, you said.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for being mad. I just wanted you to be okay.”, he said.

“We almost found the demon. Damn it! It’s all my fault if we lost him.”, you said.

Dean placed his hands on your shoulders, looking down at you.

“It’s not your fault, (Y/N). You couldn't have known this was gonna happen.” Dean said.

“Dean, Dad had a choice, save me, or find the demon. We were so close! He chose t-to save me, for whatever reason.”, you said, your eyes watered.

“Don't say that. You’re more important than finding that demon, okay? So, don't blame yourself.” Dean said.

You nodded your head slowly.

“Thanks De.” you said.

“Anytime, (Y/N).”

You weren't lost anymore, you were with your family.

(Posted at 10:39 PM on September 4, 2019)

[lattetimes]

So How About Them New Episodes, Ammirite Ladies??

here’s what i thought of the new episodes via live reactions as i watching them!

overall, it was kinda underwhelming but there were parts that i really did like! and if you liked these episodes, that’s awesome!

MAYOR DEWEY WINS

was this title a reference to the movie/book John Dies at the End, cause if so then i’m shocked i caught that

apparently it is, would you look at that. btw i kinda liked the movie.

damn, Sadie took this hard. and Steven never told Lars’ parents. so i guess Sadie has to do that herself.

why tf does Steven care if Dewey wins?!

OH, IT’S BECAUSE HE DON’T WANT SHIT TO CHANGE AND HE THINKS HAVING A NEW MAYOR WOULD BE BAD WTF DEWEY DOES NOTHING

ok wow, there’s only 24 people in Beach City and he never noticed that Lars was gone!?

“is that why the donut shop was closed?”

“we’ll hire a new donut boy!” DEWEY. DUDE. ARE YOU FOR REAL?!

“high school mayor” lmao

how did he run unopposed for 10 years!?

LARS’ MOM KEEPS A SHITTON OF TOMATOES IN HER PURSE SHE READY TO THROW DOWN ALL THE TIME

i don’t like that Steven is so adamant on Dewey winning.

jesus, Steven, let Nanefua win. she’s obviously the better person for the job

“i’m done pointing my finger at you, and now i direct all my fingers on both my hands to the citizens” top 10 anime deaths

NANEFUA WINS, OH MY GOD YES

STEVEN, DUDE, REALLY?! LEAVE CONNIE ALONE!

“i don’t know what you’re talking about, but i need to get a new job” 2018 mood tbh

episode rating: 2 tomatoes out of 5. i can’t stand Steven in this episode at all. but hey, NANEFUA WON!!!!!!

RAISING THE BARN

....was Lapis’ main concern that Steven dropped his phone on Homeworld? not the fact that he was... idk... ON HOMEWORLD?!

ok Lapis is ready to bail immediately and tbh i dont blame her

did she just uproot the entire bard wtf?! 

BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!

episode rating: 1.5 barns out of 5. BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS, BARN THE DIAMONDS!

GEMCATION

^ mfw Amethyst basically spat an egg out her mouth (it was kinda gross)

well. Greg got some kinda house.... still don’t get why the crew is so against having Greg get a house

also, where’s Peridot?

“remove all shoes before entering” Pearl fucking THROWS A RANDOM ASS PAIR OF SHOES

OKAY PEARL SCREAMING “PARTY GUY, NO!” WAS ACTUALLY KINDA FUNNY

S H O W M E P A R T Y G U Y Y O U C O W A R D S

“Steven, you should join me. become a raisin” ok Garnet

did. did Steven completely cut Garnet off as she was talking about Pink Diamond and the Gem War with the whole, “yeah, yeah, i get it, Mom. i already heard this story” kinda thing? B R U H that ain’t okay

AND GARNET JUST SHUTS UP AND WAS LIKE “good, you understand”

PEARL WAS GONNA STRAIGHT UP ADMIT TO SOME HUGE THING AFTER HER “THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN” LINE AND HE CUTS HER OFF WITH “CONNIE HATES ME”

WHY COULDN’T STEVEN AT LEAST TELL THESE FOUR THAT HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT CONNIE HATING HIM?!

I’M KINDA GETTING SICK OF SEEING STEVEN MOPE LIKE THIS FOR 3 EPISODES STRAIGHT AND I HOPE HE DOESN’T KEEP THIS UP FOR THE NEXT 2

OH NO, PLEASE DISREGARD ALL OF THE MESSED UP THINGS YOU SAW ON HOMEWORLD CAUSE CONNIE IS (rightfully) UPSET WITH YOU. LARS D I E D.

GUITAR DAD SAVES THE DAY

i love Greg Universe

how would you not notice if you aren’t getting any service on your phone? your phone tells you when you’re getting service or not

bruh you almost made your dad drive off a cliff for you to get phone service

Greg Universe is a ride or die kinda guy

this ending shot is cute, i’ll give you that. 

episode rating: 2 party guys out of 5. Party Guy should’ve bitten Steven’s phone and his shit attitude. also PEARL WTF ARE YOU TELL US ALREADY

BACK TO THE KINDERGARTEN

Connie i miss you

“of the three things i have to do in the sink now, this is the one i least mind you seeing” B R U H

 Peridot listens to country music, this is disgusting

HOLY SHIT AMETHYST IS TOSSIN’ PERIDOT AROUND LIKE SHE WEIGHS NOTHING AND I’M CRACKING UP

“can i bring my music?” “NO.” damn Amethyst you already threw Peri around like she ain’t nothin’, let her bring her music if it’ll help her

aaaay, they’re in the train again!

dang, Peri really loved the barn.

i kinda like that Amethyst is going around trying to figure out which member of the Famethyst came out of which part of the Kindergarten. kinda cute. 

so everything is seriously determined by the nutrition, right down to the style of a Gem’s hair? ...huh. iron deposits determine hair styles.

damn, Peri went with a sucker punch to the gut with her little speech about how Kindergartens kill off life and are just “lifeless husks” once all the Gems are done being formed. and Amethyst feels awful about it, dang.

ok. there’s a flower growin’ in the Kindergarten, and that should technically be impossible due to all of the nutrients in this one area being used up. this could be interesting.

ok, so now the trio is gonna farm & see what happens. ok, ok, i can roll with this i guess.

FARMING MONTAGE

look at them flowers

they proud

don’t make Peri live here

why the flamingo thingy taller than both of them

gods i didn’t need to see Steven happily showering

they’re talking about how the flowers are probs gonna look beautiful i bet they all died, they’re too positive about this. $5 them flowers are dead.

them flowers are dead,

...now they’re arguing, cause Peri blew up on them. alright. this ain’t good.

aaaaaaaaaaaand Peri crushed the original flower that grew here. both Steven & Amethyst made pained whimpers. ok. this ain’t good.

oh it’s a Gem creature- haven’t seen one of those in a while!

IT ATE PERIDOT HOLY FUCK

SMOKEY QUARTZ IS BACK

ngl i like Smokey’s theme music

btw there’s no dialogue from Smokey, just a quick 2 second thing

Peri doesn’t reform with a star on her

ok, that was kinda cute. and having a technician that also likes gardening is cute too

episode rating: 3.5 dead sunflowers outta 5. it was an okay episode & i did like it. 

SADIE KILLER

heh, i get it. cause lady killer.

oh god, that looks bad

WHY IS THAT MOP SO BIG

instead of reading off a long-ass list to the overly worked employee, just hand Sadie the list so she won’t fuck up?

“and a coffee. hold the coffee.” same tbh

oh. he’s in a band with the Cool Kids. WE GET TO SEE THE COOL KIDS!

“...i hope he [Lars] is safe and all, but working all these shifts by myself has been a huge drag” GIRL, LARS DIED IN SPACE AND IS STILL THERE

Steven stealing all the napkins is something i’d do tbh

man, i love the Cool Kids

is my girl Jenny rockin’ the bass? aaaaaaaaaaay!

Sour Cream, what the HECK IS RAP-A-BILLY?

“Doo-doo. Butt. The government corrupts” Buck is the voice of this generation

welcome to EB Games

they... they admitted to following her home from work....

“doo-doo. i think i broke your bed” Buck wtf

also, i guess them watching all of Sadie’s horror movies gave them inspiration to do that weird donut-brain-eating song. weird.

“we are the working dead, and we lurch for minimum wage” same Sadie

......ok, she’s freaking everyone out. and they look uncomfortable. Sadie, seriously stop. they’re concerned.

...she. put lipstick on her eyes.

see, if she wasn’t freakin’ everyone out with this, i’d say this song is a bop. 

ok they’re fine now & thought it was lit ok cool cool cool. i ain’t a big fan of the lyrics tbh, but i do like the song.

 “aww, doo-doo”

ok so Steven’s askin’ for advice on how to write horror-themed songs from Sadie. how about LARS DIED ON HOMEWORLD

SADIE’S ADVICE IS:

LOSE YOUR LIFE TO A BORING JOB

LOSE THE ONE PERSON YOU WERE CLOSE TO

LOSE YOUR MIND WORKIN A TON OF SHIFTS

GIRL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Steven puttin’ Sadie on blast, good lord he just sang an accidental roast tryin’ to sing shit like she does

HE STOLE ALL THE NAPKINS AGAIN

“you can’t help being cute no more than i can help being cool” Buck, you’re a blessing

“yoooooo, what if this is all a dream?” Buck, wtf?

oh. Sadie’s goin’ with them. okay. 

OH. SHE QUIT HER JOB. UM. OKAY?

episode rating: 3 funky riffs out of 5. Buck Dewey is great.

KEVIN PARTY

I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THIS EPISODE, BUT IMMA DO IT ANYWAY

DIDN’T EVEN START THE EPISODE AND I STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE

let’s just get this over with...

why’d Steven wait this long to track down Lion?!

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, here he is......

gods, i still hate him

stop being gross to kids, leave Steven and Connie alone ya freak

at least he knows they use they/them pronouns. 

how did he find out where Connie is? doesn’t she live far away from Beach City? did he track down these two kids just to “invite” Stevonnie?!

“no one turns down an invitation to a Kevin party” i sure as fuck would

lmao Kevin has an old phone

“your name’s Steven? weird, i thought your name was Clarence” OI, DON’T INSULT CLARENCE LIKE THAT

rude, Steven brought snacks and ya just toss ‘em into the void?

ok. he’s creepily obsessed with Stevonnie cause apparently they make parties and shit like that hella fun. um. stop? being obsessed with kids??

WTF WHY IS LION AT THE PARTY

Connie actually showed up. and had Lion the entire time. that’s. super fucked up. Lion is the ONLY way to get to Lars directly!

and also, there’s TWO KIDS AT A PARTY WITH OLDER PEOPLE?! NO ONE BUT DERRICK QUESTIONS THIS?

Kevin’s gonna try to get them to talk to each other... so they can form Stevonnie... so his party won’t suck...

also, he keeps calling them 7-year-olds........ siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, ok Kevin.

KEVIN YOU IDIOT LET THEM TALK TO EACH OTHER SO HE CAN SAY SORRY DON’T GIVE HIM YOUR “COOL GUY” BULLSHIT

“i need those old people to whisper my name when they die” tbh goals

“who’s Sabina?” Kevin got all red in the face and almost lost his cool

so Kevin’s gonna try to make Steven look like he’s moved on from Connie or some shit. this won’t end well.

NO, NOT DERRICK’S JACKET

now we get a montage of 2 kids being uncomfortable surrounded by older people at a party they should’t be at, ok.

at least Connie looks cute. and she got a haircut! so cute!

NOT CUTE NOT CUTE NOT CUTE

GOD, I HATE KEVIN

Steven, what are you doing?

STEVEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ok, quick recap cause i didn’t mention this: Kevin thought Steven & Connie were dating, so, Connie only went to the party to see if Steven’s okay and if they could talk. Steven decided to follow Kevin’s advice for some reason, and Connie thinks Steve’s new BFF is Kevin, and Kevin has no concept of what friends are.

so. Connie didn’t text Steven cause she preferred talking face to face about this, and that texting him wasn’t good enough to work out these issues. very fair point. still don’t get why you legit stole Lion from him, but the not texting back thing makes complete sense.

ok, she rode Lion to his house while Steven, Greg & the Gems were away (the episode Gemcation). and that’s when she bumped into Kevin and got the invite. ok. now Kevin is slightly less creepy, but still disgusting nonetheless.

oh, yay! they’re talking it out! and Steven isn’t disregarding Connie’s anger!

yay! they’re friends again!

don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie, don’t form Stevonnie.

LMAO GET FUCKED, KEVIN, THEY AIN’T FORMIN’ STEVONNIE

episode rating: 1 Lion out of 5. least fave episode, tbh. but hey, we got Connie back!

[voltron-legendary-pretender]

Awaken, My Love

Summary: Prompt fill from a lovely anon - Keith hurts Lance during his Galra awakening and is really upset about it. Lance can’t bear watching the one he loves in so much pain and he does everything he can to make him feel better. Sad but fluffy with a happy ending! Whump overload >.<

*side note - they cannot put Keith in a pod while he is changing as it could mess up the process and could lead to further difficulties in the future so our lil baby boy is just gonna have to suffer for a while.

Warnings; Non-descriptive injures, mentions of blood, mentions of vomit

This has been sitting in my drafts for months now as I am a perfectionist and I felt as though there were some sections that needed a bit more umpf ya know?

I really enjoy writing for you guys please dont think I’d ever just abandon this blog I just wanted it to be as good as I could make it but in the end I decided to give myself a break and I’ve decided to post without edits! 

Hope you enjoy don’t hesitate to leave a comment or a critique I read them all and welcome constructive criticism of my work :)

I am here to become a better writer so please tell me what Ii need to improve on/ what you would like to see from me next!

Panic filled Lance’s sleep-clouded mind when he was startled awake that faithful night to find his boyfriend Keith writhing around their shared bed in immense pain, releasing high-pitched screams of pure agony. They both knew this day would come, but neither of them could’ve guessed it would be so soon.

Lance swore he could feel each individual heart strings being torn to shreds as he looked on helplessly. He watched in horror as Keith’s skin began to exhibit small patches of purple and claws ripped their way through his nail-beds tearing the skin off his fingers and causing blood to flow freely from the fresh wounds. Keith spluttered out more blood along with several of his human teeth before turning to Lance, his now golden eyes glazed over from the disorientating pain.

“H-help me” he pleaded pitifully in a voice so broken Lance wondered if he’d ever be able to piece him back together.

All concept of time had faded during the ordeal, but after what must have been around 20 minutes of what could only be described as hell, Keith’s yells and cries had subsided and been replaced by soft whimpers accompanied by the silent tears we streamed down his now purple face.

As Keith fell into a restless slumber the gravity of what had just happened hit Lance full force. All their lives would be changed forever and that worried Lance.

What if Keith was different when he came around? What would become of the team? What would happen to the love they once shared?

With each awful thought came a further pang of anxiety, they landed Lance’s stomach like raindrops hitting the bottom of a tin bucket, threatening to overflow at each additional worry. Lance was tempted to wake the others, he really hated going through this alone; he could really use one of Hunk’s famous hugs right now, but deep down he knew that if everyone were to arrive into the small room it would only upset Keith more, and right now keeping Keith as comfortable and as safe as possible was priority.

The training Lance had received from Coran all those months ago when it was first discovered that Keith was part Galra had now kicked in. The “So Your Boyfriend’s Galra?” crash course had been extremely helpful to Lance and it gave him a deeper insight on how to care for Keith. Keith often suffered from bad migraines and ran abnormally high fevers from even the smallest cold, afflictions that could usually be cured by bed rest and tender words of comfort from Lance, but this, this was a whole new ball park.

Lance was soon snapped back to reality however as Keith’s whines grew louder and he once again began to thrash around on the bed.

“Okay, you can do this!” Lance reassured himself as he got off the bed and made his way to the door to fetch a first aid kit, a damp cloth and a water pouch for Keith. He was going to do exactly what Coran had instructed all those months ago, back before Lance’s worst nightmare became a reality.

Letting out a shaky sigh as the sliding door whooshed open, Lance turned back around to face Keith’s disheveled form one last time before promising;

“I’ll keep you safe love, we’ll get through this.” in a barely audible whisper, more so to calm himself than Keith.

On his arrival back things were bad.

There was a lot more blood and Keith had vomited on himself. It was as if Keith’s body was shedding itself inside and out. Clumps of hair accompanied large pieces of torn skin and broken nails on the once blue duvet that was now stained a deep purple with blood and bile. It was heart breaking. Lance was frozen in the doorway in pure horror. 

Keith hadn’t noticed Lance re-enter the room, yet as he curled in on himself on the bed he feverishly chanted Lance’s name like a mantra,

“L-lance, -ance ahh ah d-don’t t l-eave pl-lease m-mak-e ahh it it s-st ah stop”

That was it. 

Coran’s no touching rule be damned, Keith needed to know Lance was there for him, no way was this boy ever going to feel abandoned ever again.

Placing the first aid materials down on the bed-side locker, Lance quietly scooched up behind his beautiful boyfriend, my God, he didn’t deserve any of this pain.

A gentle rub on the back that Lance intended to be a form of comfort back-fired quickly.

No sooner had the palm of his hand made contact with Keith’s back did the latter boy let out a hiss that sounded like that of a wild panther’s, before turning around with claws bared and slashed Lance across the chest.

“D-don’t t-touch me!” He yelled as Lance flopped back into a kneeling position in disbelief. He held his hand to his aching chest and pulled it away only to find fresh crimson liquid pooling in his palm.

Sheepishly looking down Lance caught sight of the three angry claw marks that had ripped through his pajama top and were causing blood to ooze out of his once flawlessly smooth skin.

He needed help. Fast.

Grabbing the remote beside his bed he set off the alarms in the castle to wake everyone up before leaving a frantic message.

“Guys, I-I need you all down h-here right now, arghh K-Keith’s changing. I I need h-help, hurry p-please”

Before he knew it the remaining paladins had arrived accompanied by Allura and Coran. Keith was now yelling again and more blood began to stream out of his mouth. Everyone was taken aback by the scene they were witnessing but soon sprang into action to help.

It was all a blur. Lance could vaguely remember being carried to the infirmary by Hunk, along with two other concerned voices which later turned out to be Coran and Pidge, Allura and Shiro left to deal with “the Keith situation”.

Dizzy and delusional from the blood loss, Lance began to cry and apologize to Coran.

“I-I’m sorry I d-didn’t d-do wh-what ahh you you t-told me, I - I w-want-ed him to to kno-w that that I-I...”

Lance’s sobs were cut off by Coran placing his strong hands on the trembling boys shoulders before speaking “Hey look at me” he said in a voice so gentle Lance couldn’t help but comply.

“I am so proud of you, do you hear me? You did amazing, Keith will be fine, but this is an extremely traumatic thing to go through, he needs you to be there for him okay? Right now your job is to get better so you can be there for him, all you need to do right now is focus in getting better alright?”

Lance nodded meekly in response.

“That’s my boy!” Come on now let’s get you into a pod and you’ll be right in a jiffy!” Coran announced.

Right as Lance stepped into the pod the older man embraced him in a warm hug.

“We all love you Lance, were so proud of you, you did so well” were Coran’s parting words. New tears sprang from Lance’s eyes but for the first time in a long time they were tears of joy, of pride. Yeah, he did good.

Just a couple of hours later the pod door whooshed open and Lance fell into the loving arms of his second family. Everyone was there except for Keith and Shiro.

“How is he?” Lance questioned no one in particular.

“Better” Allura supplied with a grimace. “It appears the worst is over, Shiro’s with him now”

“He’s been calling your name this entire time, he thinks you hate him” Pidge interjects sadly.

“Yeah” sighed Hunk. “he’s really beat up about the whole thing, he didn’t mean it.”

“I know that!” Lance practically yells. “I gotta see him is he still in the room?”

“Yes, unfortunately moving him to the med bay would have done more harm than good at this stage” Allura stated.

“Go to him my boy!” Coran said to Lance as he was already half way down the hallway.

“Don’t have to tell me twice!” Lance yelled back down to the others.

Lance was greeted by a very tired looking Shiro at the door who let him back into the room.

Hey how you doing buddy?” Shiro whispered. It appeared Keith had passed out again and Shiro was trying to keep him as well-rested as possible.

“I’m fine, why is he in restraints?” Lance replied, motioning towards Keith who looked worse for wear. Shiro let out a deep sigh before explaining.

“After he hurt you, he went nuts, he-he said he was a monster.” Shiro looked down sadly before continuing. “We had no choice he kept hurting himself, we tied him down so he would stop, some of the wounds are pretty deep, I’m stitching them up now while he’s out.”

“Oh God” Lance’s heart was broken. 

He approached the chair placed beside his boyfriend’s head and leaned down to kiss his his pain stained face as he took one of Keith’s bandaged hands into his own.

“Thank you for taking care of him Shiro. Go get some rest, I’ll take it from here” Lance said with a soft smile as he used his thumb to rub soothing circles onto the back of Keith’s injured hand.

“Are you sure Lance?” Shiro questioned.

“Yeah, totally” Lance replied instantly, eyes still locked firmly to Keith.

“I’m never gonna leave your side I promise” he whispered into his partner’s blood-soaked mullet.

“He really loves you you know” Shiro said as he stood in the door way.

“Yeah, I know. I know.”

At some point Lance must’ve dosed off, only to be awoken by the sound of Keith muttering in his sleep. His face was all screwed up and it appeared he was having a nightmare.

“ahh no no monster, m-monster no n-no Lancee no don-t leave-e me n-no ahh”

Lance felt like he could drown in the sadness that was flooding his insides at the sight of the boy he loved in so much pain.

“Ssh, I’m here, I’m here, I love you Keith, so much, shh it’s okay” Lance hushed as he stroked Keith’s hair.

With that his eyelids snapped open.

“Lance!” he gaped.

“Hello love, how are you feeling? Let me take these restraints of they can’t be comfy-”

“NO!” Keith yelled. “I’m a monster, I’m evil, I’ll just hurt you, please, don’t l-let me hurt you” Keith began to sob.

“Hey, hey it’s alright. It was an accident Keith! Ii love you babe. I’m so proud of you for making it through this, you are so strong dear” Lance consoled him as he unlocked the restraints before opening his arms up for a hug. Keith seemed to hesitate for a moment before throwing himself full-force into Lance’s warm embrace.

“I- I was-s so so scared” he hiccuped out in between sobs.

“I know darling, I know. I’m here now, I’ll never leave you, we’re gonna get through this okay?” Lance said softly as he planted kisses across Keith’s neck and shoulders. They held each other for some time before Lance broke contact.

“Let’s get you cleaned up a bit yeah?” he suggested. Keith nodded before nuzzling back into Lance’s chest one last time before sitting back.

Accessing the extent of his remaining untreated injuries, Lance concluded that at least some of the deeper wounds should be attended to before they got some much needed rest.

Lance worked slowly and gently, whispering words of encouragement and showering Keith with kisses whenever the battered boy began whimpering in pain. After a while, despite how careful Lance was, it was all becoming a bit too much for Keith. His breathing became audibly deeper and faster as he squeezed his eyes shut and gripped onto Lance’s shirt.

Noticing this change, Lance placed down the antiseptic soaked cloth he was holding and tipped Keith’s chin upwards to meet the other boy’s gaze and examine his face. 

“I-I don’t feel good” Keith hiccuped.

Lance felt his forehead and sighed. “You’re getting feverish again. I think we’ll leave this til later, okay? Do you need your bucket again?” he asked tenderly as he swiped Keith’s greasy hair from his face.

Keith simply nodded as he began clutching his stomach letting out little whines of pain.

“Here you go love” Lance held the bucket in front of Keith as the shaking boy retched violently into it, bringing up nothing but bile and a little blood.

“It’s okay, your okay” Lance reassured as he rubbed small circles on the small of Keith’s back. Keith merely whimpered and leaned back into Lance’s comforting embrace in response.

“Hurts” he said in a cracked voice.

“I know pet, I know” Lance sympathized as he used a fresh cloth to wipe Keith’s face clean.

“Here have some of this and then we’ll go to bed alright?” Lance reasoned, guiding the pouch of water to Keith’s bloody lips. He waited patiently as the smaller boy took a few small sips before screwing up his face in pain once more as he clutched his stomach.

“Okay, that’s enough for now.” Lance soothed.

“I’m just gonna strip the bed and we can cuddle okay?” Keith nodded furiously at this suggestion and Lance giggled.

“Alright, lemme just put you on the chair for a minute and I’ll bring you right back, okay?” Keith nodded once more.

As Lance began to slowly guide Keith off the bed and into a standing position he could feel the other boy trembling.

“Are you alright to do this love?” He asked concerned and Keith nodded in response yet again. He had to brave! He was already so weak and pathetic. This isn’t who Keith was.

However, standing even with the support of Lance proved to be too much for Keith, knees buckling beneath him, only to be saved from crashing to the floor by Lance’s arms.

“S-sorry I-I thought I c-could”

“Ssh, it’s alright love, I’ve got you, I’ve got you” Lance reassured as he carried Keith bridal-style to the chair, He planted a quick kiss on the top of Keith’s head before getting to work on quickly changing the bed sheets. Lance decided to use the red duvet with matching pillows that had patterns of smiling kittens all over them, he knew they were Keith favourite, even if he  was too stubborn to admit it.

Within a few minutes both boys were wrapped up in their own poorly constructed blanket burrito for two. They held onto each other simply starring into one another’s eyes.

“You’re beautiful” Lance smiled lazily, Keith’s new cat-like ears pricked up and Lance laughed softly. Keith’s blush turned into a frown.

“You know you don’t have to say those things to me anymore. I- I know I’m not a monster anymore but-but you don’t need to stay with me, I’m not what I was, who I was you don’t have to -” he began to ramble before Lance stopped him by leaning in for another kiss. This one was deeper, more needy than the many that came before, yet it was still soft and warm and not at all harsh in the way that was so uniquely Lance it made Keith’s head spin and his heart flutter.

“Don’t be so silly” Lance spoke as they broke apart.

“You’re still the same Keith I fell in love with, you’re just a lil fluffy now.” Lance spoke softly motioning towards Keith’s new purple coat.

“You’re not a monster, what happened was an accident okay? I love you. So much. Keith your gorgeous inside and out, my God you’re so beautiful. You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, when we were together I feel like I’m with a better version of myself. Keith you’re my best friend, you deserve the entire universe and I’m just so happy I get to share my little section of it with you everyday, I could never ask for anymore” As Lance spoke he wiped the tears that were now spilling down Keith’s face.

Thank you Lance he sniffled into the crook of the other boys neck as he listened closely for the gentle and constant rhythm of Lance’s heartbeat.

“Your m-unm --se” he mumbled.

“What was that dear?” Lance questioned.

“I said your my universe Lance” Keith smiled up at his boyfriend proudly, showing the first signs of being his normal corny self again.

That night they fell asleep in each others arms, as they had done so many before, tentatively listening to the beating of their hearts and feeling the rise and fall of each others chests as they drifted into a peaceful slumber.

They’d be okay. They had each other.

[hannahhhhify]

Chapter 182: talk to me...

Denise POV:

I unlocked the door and walked inside. Paul was sitting on the couch with his feet up, he has his laptop in his lap, and papers spread out on the couch, so he was working, but he fell asleep. I locked the door and slipped my shoes off. and then I walked over to the couch.

Denise: “Paul?” I said patting his shoulder. he stretched and opened his eyes.

Paul: “hey”

Denise: “I think you should lay down, you’ll be sore if you sleep like that” he nodded.

Paul: “thank you for waking me up” he said putting his feet down and sitting up and placing his laptop on the table. “Where did you go? I tried to call you”

Denise: “I went for a drive to visit with your parents”

Paul: “why?”

Denise: “I didn’t want to be here”

Paul: “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier… it was mean, and I’m sorry that Joseph overheard us too, I shouldn’t have talked about it with the kids around” I nodded.

Denise: “did you talk to Joey about it?” Paul shook his head no.

Paul: “I told him that I knew he was probably upset and confused about what he heard, but I wanted to wait to talk to him about it until you were here”

Denise: “is he okay?” I asked worriedly. I feel awful that he overheard us fighting like that. He probably hates me.

Paul: “he is scared that we are going to get a divorce and I’m going to leave”

Denise: “are you going to leave?”

Paul: “of course I’m not” he said rolling his eyes.

Denise: “why not? We aren’t happy right now”

Paul: “because I love you enough to stay… do you love me enough to stay?” he asked nervously. I nodded and he stood up and hugged me. “I don’t really understand what’s going on Denise… but I love you, and I want to work through this with you” I nodded and leaned into his chest. I miss him so much. I miss hugging him. I miss everything.

Denise: “I love you too” I said starting to cry. I don’t deserve him after what I did to him. we stood there hugging for a long time, in silence. When we pulled away we both had tears in our eyes.

Paul: “will you go out on a date with me tomorrow night if we can get a babysitter?” I nodded.

Denise: “I would love to go out on a date with you” he smiled and wiped his tears away.

Paul: “So how are my parents?”

Denise: “they are good. They want to come visit soon… oh and today I got a call reminding us of Zac’s appointment tomorrow at 4pm”

Paul: “oh shoot... I completely forgot we set that”

Denise: “me too, I can take him”

Paul: “I don’t know if he will let you take him… I had to fight him big time to get him to go last time” he is scared of doctors…. I know he needs some shots and stuff too. he isn’t going to be happy… “I’ll just let the office know that I need to leave early”

Denise: “okay… and I have an interview tomorrow”

Paul: “what? why? For what?”

Denise: “manager position at a restaurant downtown”

Paul: “why do you want to work there?”

Denise: “I figured that maybe if I could pick up some hours, you could stop working so late… It bothers me that you are gone all day, we agreed on you being home every day at 5pm… that got pushed back to 6:30-7pm and now sometimes later”

Paul: “Denise, you don’t need to do that, my job is flexible, with you starting fresh, you’d be stuck to a schedule, what if we want to go on some trips or something this summer? And Who’s going to take care of the kids in the summer during the day when we are both working?”

Denise: “I thought about asking either Demi, or Drake. We could pay them. I know Demi likes to shop, so I think she would want too… I know you don’t like the idea of me working, but it’s really hard for me to wait all day for you to come home. I think I need something to keep me busy… and the pay is okay”

Paul: “okay, if that’s what you want to do, I fully support you” I smiled

-------------------------  

Edward’s POV:

I was asleep when I felt someone shake me awake

Edward: “Stop it” I whined

Sam: “SHH!” he said covering my mouth. My eyes shot open, startled by it. “john is awake, I have to go” he whispered. I tensed when I heard John yell and my eyes went wide. Sam carefully slid me off of him, and he got up and started quickly putting his shoes on. He looks so nervous, which is making me nervous. he walked over to the window and he quietly started messing with the window. I got up and walked over to him

Edward: “I’m sorry I fell asleep... I didn’t mean to” I whispered.

Sam: “it’s okay, you are so cute when you sleep” he said giving me a quick kiss before crawling out the window. and he started helping me with the screen.

Edward: “Can you come back tomorrow? Please?” he hesitated for a second

Sam: “I c-can’t... I’m busy” he said looking a little guilty

Edward: “busy doing what?”

Sam: “I need to go Eddie… you are going to get in so much trouble!”

Edward: “why don’t you want to tell me?” I asked confused

Sam: “I just don’t want to tell you right now, when I don’t have any time to explain it” he said looking at me with pleading eyes.

Edward: “I want to know…”

Sam: “I’ll tell you later”

Edward: “if you don’t tell me, I’m going to yell at you, and then John’s going to come in here and it would be your fault, and you’ll feel bad, and I’ll be in pain from the ass beating I’ll get” I said crossing my arms. we can still hear John yelling at Olivia in the background. Sam groaned and leaned against the side of the house.

Sam: “you are such a fucking brat” I smiled and nodded.

Edward: “please just tell me?” Sam sighed.

Sam: “uhm.. I sort of promised that I w-would help someone move”

Edward: “okay?” I said confused to why he wouldn’t just tell me that

Sam: “Its making me so nervous standing out here, can we please just talk about this later?”

Just then my door opened. And my eyes went wide and Sam quickly ducked down, and I watched for just a second as he started crawling on the ground, away from my window. If John wasn’t in here, I would laugh. I turned around to look at John and he looks PISSED.

John: “WERE YOU ABOUT TO SNEAK OUT??” HE yelled. I shook my head no.

Edward: “I’m wearing boxers... it’s cold, I was just shutting the window” John eyed me suspiciously.

John: “what are you doing awake still?”

Edward: “you are yelling, the whole house is probably awake” I said rolling my eyes. he walked over and looked out of my window...

John: “Was Sam here?” He said closing my window. did he see him? does he already know?

Edward: “I don’t know what’s going on with Sam... I wish he had a phone so that I could talk to him” I said kind of avoiding his question.

John: “alright… even though I think he was here, I can’t really prove it. But Edward, If I find out he was here, I’m spanking you twice. Once for lying. Got it?” He asked irritated. I felt myself start to really panic… I nodded my head though, and he sighed and walked out of the room. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. And I bit my lip and shut my bedroom door. I really hope he doesn’t hear Sammy’s loud car… I walked over to the window and looked out, I couldn’t see Sam anywhere. But I know he is still here, because his car is super loud. I looked around some more until finally I noticed Sam pushing his car down the street and I laughed. He is such a dork! He always makes me laugh though. I walked over and jumped back into my bed. it’s still warm from where we were laying before, I wish he could’ve stayed. I always feel so safe with him. this bed feels lonely and sad without him. I heard his car start in the distance, but it was much quieter, he must have pushed his car a couple blocks. He is sucks at being sneaky, but he did a pretty good job tonight. I am really confused about why he doesn’t want to tell me what he is doing tomorrow though... But I trust him, so I’m sure its fine, it’s just weird.

-------------------------------

John’s POV:

We give Olivia and Edward quite a bit of freedom when it comes to their relationships. We just ask that they do not sneak around, and be responsible and safe. Drake has snuck out to come here several times, but Olivia has always asked us first, but of course we didn’t know he was sneaking out to come over, otherwise we would have definitely said no. We even let him sleep here one time with our supervision. So I’m upset with Olivia because she knows she can ask us anything, and she chose to sneak around instead. So I’m disappointed. I sent her to bed, and told her we would discuss it tomorrow morning.

John: “Alright Drake, call your dad” I said as we walked into the livingroom.

Drake: “m-my dads working” he lied. I know he is lying because I helped Dan and John move a couple bigger things earlier today to their new place.

John: “You are a terrible liar Drake” I said rolling my eyes. “I helped your dad a little bit today, I know he isn’t working” Drake bit his lip

Drake: “please don’t make me t-tell m-my dad” he said nervously.

John: “Drake! I just walked in on you on top of my daughter in the middle of the night! Do you really think I’m the person to be asking favors from? I hope you get in big trouble!” I said irritated.

Drake: “b-but he is going to make me break up with Olivia!”

John: “no he won’t”

Drake: “yes he will! he s-said if I get caught sneaking o-out again to see h-her then I can’t d-date her anymore”

John: “then why did you do it?” I said crossing my arms. he looked down.

Drake: “I m-missed her”

John: “well how much more are you going to miss her when you aren’t allowed to date her anymore?” I asked annoyed. Drake immediately started crying.

Drake: “Mr. Davis! Pleaaase! Please don’t tell on me! I’ll do anything!” he begged.

John: “Drake... you made the decision to sneak out. You deserve whatever you get”

Drake: “c-can you p-punish me instead? Please?” he said with wide eyes.

John: “No” Drake looked down and nodded.

Drake: “I’m s-sorry th-that I snuck in… please don’t be mad at Olivia, she d-didn’t know I wa-was coming, i-it wasn’t her fault”

John: “she still chose to let you in without asking when she shouldn’t have… now call your dad.” I said sitting on the couch. He gave me one last pleading look, and I crossed my arms and glared at him. he pouted and pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and he walked over and sat on my lap, which really caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting him to sit in my lap. he took a deep shaky breath, and then he clicked on his daddy’s contact name and he held the phone up to his ear.

Drake: “Daddy…. Um.. please don’t be mad” he begged.. biting his lip nervously. I actually kind of feel bad for him. “I.. snuck ou-out” he mumbled. And I heard Ken yell at him. Drake sunk into my chest, and my arms went around him. “I.. I’m at Ol-Olivia’s” he mumbled. I heard some more yelling. “I’m s-sorry daddy” he said miserably. “o-okay” Drake hungup and dropped his phone on the couch. “H-He will be here in a m-minute” I sighed.

John: “I’ll try to talk to him about allowing you to still date Olivia” he looked up at me surprised.

Drake: “really?”

John: “yeah, but if it happens again, your own your own kid” he nodded and turned and hugged me.

Drake: “I’m sorry I c-came here without a-asking, and I’m sorry that we… that you… um…” he is struggling to find his words. “we weren’t doing anything Mr. Davis, I was just ti-tickling her, I know it probably l-looked bad”

John: “Drake, I’ve always trusted Olivia, and I’ve always trusted the kids she brought here too. I’ve trusted you. but when you sneak around, and lie to me, like you did tonight, then it breaks that trust, and I no longer think I can trust you. that means no more alone time with Olivia while you are here, until you can prove again that you are trustworthy” he nodded.

Drake: “y-yes sir, I understand” a couple minutes later there was a knock on the door.

John: “I’m going to go talk to him, stay put” he nodded. and I slipped him off of my lap. and I stood up

-------------------------------

Taylor’s POV:

I heard a door slam really loud and I jumped and immediately reached across the bed to try to find drake, but I came up empty.

Taylor: “Drake?” I whined, opening my eyes. Did he slam the door? I groaned and got up out of drake’s bed and I found Ken putting his shoes on.

Taylor: “hey… what’s going on? I heard a door slam”

Ken: “Sorry I woke you up. Drake snuck out again”

Taylor: “seriously? Why? Where did he go?”

Ken: “take a guess” he said shaking his head and standing up.

Taylor: “Olivia...” he nodded.

Ken: “I need to go get him. do you want to come with me?”

Taylor: “do you think you could drop me off at home? I came here to make his first night less lonely. If he doesn’t want to hangout with me, then I don’t want to hangout with him either” Ken nodded. and I got my stuff and he took me home.

Ken: “Can you go get the strap for me to borrow?” he asked as we pulled into the driveway. I couldn’t help but shiver. The strap freaking hurts. Drakes in for a long painful night. I nodded and unlocked our front door and quietly walked inside.

Deb: “Taylor? What are you doing coming home so late?” she said standing there with a dirty diaper folded in her hand.

Taylor: “I was sleeping, but Drake snuck out, so I had Ken bring me home… he needs to borrow the s-strap” she nodded

Deb: “it’s in our bedroom on the dresser” I nodded and I walked over and kissed her cheek before going to their room. my dad was in there with Bethany, trying to calm her. I walked over to their dresser and grabbed the strap.

Dan: “what’s going on Taylor?” He said sternly. I shivered for the second time in the past couple minutes. I’m so glad that I’m not the one in trouble for once.

Taylor: “Ken needs to borrow this, because Drake snuck out”

Dan: “did you sneak out?” I shook my head no.

Taylor: “I was asleep, I didn’t know Drake left until I heard Ken” dad nodded.

Dan: “are you going back over there?” I shook my head no.

Taylor: “no, I’m going to go to bed” he nodded and walked over and kissed the top of my head. “Go give that to Ken, and then get your butt to bed, you have to wake up early”

Taylor: “yes sir daddy, I love you” He smiled. He looks exhausted.

Dan: “I love you too baby boy” I took the strap back outside to Ken, and then I went straight to bed. Drakes probably going to be upset with me for leaving, but I’m upset with him for sneaking out, so I don’t care at the moment.

-------------------------------

Ken’s POV:

When I got to Mr. Davis’ house, I knocked on the door, and he stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

Ken: “I’m sorry about all of this, we have tried everything to keep that kid from sneaking out, he just won’t listen” he said shaking his head.

John: “I can relate, Edward is known for sneaking away from us too. I know how frustrating it is” he nodded. “Drake mentioned that if you caught him sneaking out again, you’d make him break up with Olivia” Ken sighed.

Ken: “When Drake asked us if he could date Olivia, one of our terms was that he would have to stop sneaking out if he wanted to be with her. And he did stop for the most part. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that, because I really thought threatening him with that would be enough”

John: “Drake cares about Olivia a lot, I can tell” Ken nodded.

Ken: “Yeah I know…”

John: “well I support whatever you decide to do, but I think that if you try to make him break up with her, he will find a way to see her, and she will find a way to see him”

Ken: “yeah I know” he said shaking his head. We walked inside and Ken immediately went over to the couch and before Drake or I could even register what was about to happen, Ken had Drakes pants and boxers down around his ankles and Drake was pulled over Ken’s knee.

Drake: “Nooo Dadddy!! Not hereee!” he whined, embarrassed, kicking his feet. Ken didn’t let up though.

Ken: “When we get home, you are getting a taste of the strap little boy”

Drake: “Daddy! No!”

Ken: “STOP!” SMACK SMACK “TELLING” SMACK! SMACK! “ME” SMACK SMACK! “NO!” SMACK SMACK SMACK! SMACK! SMACKK!

Drake: “OWW!” Ken let him up and drake quickly pulled his pants back up and covered his face to hide his tears and probably because he is embarrassed.

Ken: “Now go ask John for a short spanking too, for breaking into his house in the middle of the night and causing him trouble” Drake gasped and lowered his hands to look at Ken in shock.

Drake: “daddy? Are you serious?” he said blushing even more.

Ken: “Do I look serious?” he said glaring at him.

Drake: “daaad!” he whined.

Ken: “ONE” he said holding up one finger. Drake looked at John, and then back at me. “TWO!”

Drake: “Daaad! This is so embarrassing! Please don’t make me!” he begged.

Ken: “Drake… if I get to the count of 3 you are going back over my knee, and then you can ask him” Drake gasped again. he is looking at me like I just crushed his little heart. he is so embarrassed, I would be too, but maybe it will help him decide sneaking out isn’t worth it.

-----------------------------

John’s POV:

I can tell Drake is really struggling to ask me to spank him, so to try to make him a little bit more comfortable I walked over to him and turned him to me, and I smiled reassuringly at him.

John: “you’ve already asked me once tonight Drake… don’t be embarrassed” He bit his lip and nodded

Drake: “i-I’m so-s-sorry that I snuck into your house, and br-broke yo-your rules. I uh.. I.. can you… um..”

Ken: “spit it out Drake” he said impatiently

Drake: “c-can you g-give m-me a… sp-spanking sir?” he said miserably. His red face turning even more red. And he is unable to make eye contact with me.

John: “yes, but only because you asked so nicely” his face fell and Ken and I both chuckled.

Drake: “you guys are mean” he said hiding his face in his hands. I sighed and pulled him into a hug.

John: “I’ll give you a short one, for sneaking behind my back”

Drake: “I’m so sorry” he whispered.

John: “it’s not okay, and I don’t want you to do it again. okay?” I said quietly… I know that’s probably not what he wanted to hear, but it really made me mad catching him on top of Olivia like that. Especially after all the trust I’ve put in both of them. I want him to know that I’m not okay with what they did. He nodded his head.

John: “I do accept your apology though, and I expect more from both you and Olivia in the future” he nodded again

Drake: “I’ll never do it again” he whispered. I smiled over at Ken and he rolled his eyes, I don’t think either of us believe that. I lead Drake over to the couch and I sat down in front of him, and he reluctantly laid himself over my knee. I wasn’t really expecting Ken to have me spank Drake. But I understand exactly why he wanted me too. I know Ken’s using the strap on him later, so this isn’t meant to be a hard spanking, just a small one to send him a message. I sighed and lifted my hand and brought it down unto the middle of his bottom. he still has pants and underwear, that are giving him some protection from my hand. but as I continued spanking him at a fast steady pace, I started hearing his little gasps and yelps of pain, but I pushed through them for a couple of minutes before stopping and rubbing his back for a second, before helping him get up. he had tears in his eyes, and he immediately hugged onto me. I closed my eyes and pulled him close.

John: “shh, your okay” I whispered.

Drake: “I’m s-sorrry I-I d-dis-disappointed y-yyou Mr. D-davis” he cried, clinging to my shirt. I held him like this for a while before Ken cleared his throat.

Ken: “I think we should go home now Drake, let John get some sleep” I felt drake nod and I opened my eyes as Drake pulled away.

Drake: “p-please don’t bl-blame Olivia… it wasn’t-“

Ken: “Drake… stay out of it” He said sternly. Drake bit his lip, but still looked at me with pleading eyes.

John: “Olivia should have came and told us you were here. So she was also in the wrong, and I will be discussing it with her in the morning”

----------------------------------------

Drake’s POV:

We left Mr. Davis’ house, and I feel so dumb! I messed up bad, and I just want Taylor… I can’t wait to get this punishment over with and hold him. I’m so scared about losing Olivia, and Embarrassed about John witnessing and spanking me. I’m also already a little sore, and I have the strap coming, and I’m terrified of it. when we got home and went upstairs to our apartment, my nervousness was getting even worse, my hands are shaking.

Drake: “daddy… a-are you g-going t-to ta-take h-her away from me?” I asked in a small voice… I can’t wait any longer, I need to know. Olivia is such an amazing person. She’s one of my best friends. Dad sighed and took off his shoes and he tossed the strap onto the floor because we don’t have any furniture. He looks kind of rough, his face is scruffy, and he has dark bags under his eyes, clearly exhausted, and he is getting skinnier, you can see it in his face mostly, but earlier today after he got out of the shower, and he was walking around in a towel, I noticed that his ribs are all visible, and his stomach kind of sinks in a little bit, where his abs used to be. This year has been so hard on him, and I just make it harder. I wish it would have been me who died in that car crash, instead of mom and Selena…. They made him so happy, and I bet if it was me who died, he wouldn’t be falling apart like this… they would know how to help him, they’d make it better. I know that he probably wishes the same thing, he will never admit that to me, but I just know… all I do is stress him out. Selena was perfect in every way, everyone loved her! she made everyone feel important, she didn’t care who you were, she would be your best friend if you let her be. she was a better kid then I am. If she was here, Dads eyes would still light up whenever he was around us. But that didn’t happen, she died and left dad here with me, and no matter how hard he tries to hide it, all you can see his sadness in his eyes now. I miss the way that his eyes would somehow smile when he smiled. They seem darker now, unfocused. It’s like you can literally see the dark cloud of loss and depression that follows him now. The guilt makes me want to throw up. and I keep doing stupid stuff like this to make it even worse…. I regret leaving tonight… I just wanted to see Olivia… moving has been hard, it scares me, and Olivia always makes me feel better. She’s really good at distracting me and making me laugh, and I needed that. But now I feel horrible. I make his life so much harder than it should be. he pulled me out of my thoughts though, when he appeared in front of me

Ken: “have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying to you?” he said sounding even more irritated.

Drake: “u-uh.. I’m so sorry d-daddy” I said scratching the back of my neck. I didn’t even realize he was talking.

Ken: “you asked me a question and then just ignored me?”

Drake: “I was deep in thought, I guess, I d-didn’t h-hear you” I said looking down.

Ken: “what were you thinking about? You looked upset”

Drake: “I just feel guilty” I said softly.

Ken: “I hope you do, you have really disappointed me” my eyes started welling up with even more tears. I don’t even know what to say. John made me feel so bad, and now my dad is making me feel even worse…. I wish Taylor would wake up and come out here and hug me… I need him. I hope he stayed asleep, if he finds out that I snuck out, he will be so disappointed. I feel like I’m disappointing enough to my dad… I hate when I disappoint Taylor too. I always wanted a brother, and Taylor, and all the Jonas boys are the best brothers ever. If my family wouldn’t have moved next door to Paul and Denise, I wouldn’t know any of them right now... I couldn’t have gotten past this year without them. UGH why am I so in my thoughts right now. I had to make myself focus again on what my dads saying. “I’m not going to make you break up with Olivia, because I think that would be pointless, because you will just do what you want anyway” relief washed over me. “I know you are 18, but you still live with me… therefor you still have rules”

Drake: “I t-think even i-if I di-didn’t live with you, I’d still somehow have rules” I said smiling sheepishly. Dad laughed and nodded.

Ken: “Only because I love you and care about you” he said cupping my face with his hands and kissing my forehead. I leaned into him and closed my eyes. I hate when he is mad at me. I hate when anybody is mad at me.

Drake: “I’m sorry I sn-snuck out daddy” I whispered.

Ken: “let’s talk about it” he said lowering his hands from my face and grabbing my hand. he pulled me along with him, while he walked over and picked up the strap off of the floor, which made me shiver just thinking about it, and then he lead me into his bedroom. and we sat on his bed. I couldn’t help but wince, my butts already sore. “Why did you do it?” he said putting the strap on the mattress right between us. I couldn’t help but look down at it with dread. “hey” he said cupping my face again. “talk to me” he said softly. I nodded.

Drake: “I.. um.. I’m really ner-nervous about m-moving. I.. I’m scared th-that you… you..” I bit my lip, I don’t know how to talk about this with him, this is why I wanted to see Olivia…

Ken: “scared that I what?”

Drake: “you just a-aren’t the same”

Ken: “what do you mean?”

Drake: “I don’t know” I said looking away from him. I don’t want him to get even more upset with me, so I just looked down. he tried to ask me more questions about it, but I just picked a spot on the floor and stared at it.

Ken: “Drake! What the heck? I’m trying to talk to you!”

Drake: “sorry daddy” I mumbled. “I just wanted to see her” I settled for a half truth instead. Dad sighed. He knows I’m not being open with him.

Ken: “okay, if you don’t want to talk about it, then let’s just get this over with” I felt my nervousness come back full force. I hate the strap. Dad stood up. “look at me” he said softly. I slowly looked up at him.

Ken: “it’s going to be okay” he said softly. the tears that were in my eyes spilled over and ran down my face and I nodded. I knew he wasn’t just talking about the spanking I’m about to get. He knows I’m worried about him.

Drake: “I don’t think it’s going to be okay” I whispered.

Ken: “what did you say?”

Drake: “nothing daddy” I mumbled. He frowned.

Ken: “I wish you would tell me what’s wrong Drake, I can tell this is more than just because you got caught”

Drake: “I just feel guilty dad… I shouldn’t have snuck out, I feel really bad” I left out the part about feeling guilty that I’m even alive. I shouldn’t be here. Selena and My mom should be.

Ken: “well, after I finish your punishment, you’ll be completely forgiven okay?” I nodded. “and no more sneaking out Drake, I’m serious, I mean it”

Drake: “yes sir” I said nodding.

Ken: “okay, pants down, and lay over the bed” I took a deep breath and then I stood up and slowly took down my pants with my shaky hands.

Ken: “underwear too” I whimpered quietly, and pulled my underwear down to meet my pants around my knees, and then I turned and I leaned over the bed.

Ken: “you are getting 50” I gasped

Drake: “f-fifty? Th-that’s a lot”

Ken: “You deserve every single one Drake, you knew sneaking out was wrong. And if it happens again you’re getting 60! Eventually we will get to a number that makes you stop doing it” Dang.. Harsh! I bit my lip… I do deserve this. I deserve worse than this. but I’m scared, I want Taylor… dad rested his hand on my lower back, and I buried my face into his blankets. “Are you ready?”

Drake: “y-yes sir” I said nervously. He rubbed my lower back for a second and then I felt the heavy strap rest on my bare bottom for just a second, and then he pulled it back and a few seconds later it painfully landed right in the middle of my butt

Drake: “AH!” I yelped out in shock. I wasn’t really expecting it to hurt so much already. I gripped onto the blankets and squeezed my eyes closed as another one landed right below that one.

CRACK! CRACKK! CRACKK! CRACKK! CRACKK! I’m already openly crying and it’s just started. CRACK CRACK! CRACKK! CRACKK! “AHHHHHH! OWW! OWW! OW! AHHH!” I sobbed out. CRACK CRACK CRACKK! CRACKKK! Oh my gosh… I can’t handle how bad this hurts. CRACK! CRACKK! CRACKKK! “DAAAADDYY!” I sobbed “No moreeeee” CRACK CRACK CRACK! CRACKK! CRACKK! CRACKK! CRACK!

Ken: “you’ve made it to 25 Drake, you have 25 more” I started crying even harder because the first part hurt so bad. how am I going to handle that much again?... CRACK! CRACK CRACK!

Drake: “AHHH! IT h-HURTS! OWW!” CRACK CRACK CRACKK!

Ken: “I know it hurts son… I know it hurts” he whispered. I could hear the sadness in his voice. CRACK CRACK! CRACKK! I screamed out as loud as I could when one hit my thighs extra hard. “SHH! Drake… we live in an apartment, you can’t be that loud” I tried really hard to quiet down, but it was nearly impossible, this hurts so bad! by time it finally ended I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. Dad grabbed my pants and underwear and pulled them all the way off, probably assuming I wouldn’t want to put them back on. And then he shut the light off and climbed into bed and pulled me close to him. I sobbed hard and loudly into his chest. I felt him pull a blanket over us.

Ken: “it’s okay, it’s over now, your forgiven now” he said kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back. I couldn’t calm down though. I just kept sobbing, and I could feel that dad is crying too. which makes me feel even worse. No matter how hard I tried to pull it together, I just couldn’t. it hurts. It felt like hours passed before I finally calmed down. dad never stopped trying to comfort me though, even when we fell into silence. I felt myself start to get really sleepy.

Drake: “d-daa-daddy?” I said trying to wipe my face. My dads shirt is really wet from my uncontrollable tears.

Ken: “yes baby?”

Drake: “I w-w-want Tay-Taylor”

Ken: “Taylor isn’t here baby” I gasped and pulled away from my dad

Drake: “w-why? Where-where did h-he go?” I said starting to panic

Ken: “He went home” he said running his fingers through my hair. I felt my heart break.

Drake: “w-why?” Dad sighed.

Ken: “he said he came here to be with you, and if you didn’t want to be here, neither did he” He probably hates me! I started sobbing again and dad pulled me as close to him as I could possibly get, and he started shushing me, and humming softly in my ear. I disappointed my dad and Dr. Davis, and I got Olivia in trouble, and I made Taylor leave… he probably will never want to hangout with me again. Maybe I should just… run away. Nobody needs me, I make it worse for everybody, I know everyone would be happier if I just went away. I cried for a really really long time, until exhaustion won, and I fell asleep.

CLICK HERE to write me please! -Hannah

[stopbreathego]

no one pays attention to me here or really knows me in rl, so im just gonna type out my feelings for a little bit bc it’s been a year and i feel like it. so i’m 25 now. i’m halfway to the 30. that feels awful knowing i’m still only halfway to my degree and i can’t ever take any classes bc they interfere with other things like my job that actually pays pretty decent for not having a degree. plus i’m married now. we’ve been married for a whopping six months, but i think knowing each other for 13 years kinda ruined the whole honeymoon thing for us. i do really want to spend most of my time with him, but i’m just clingy and constantly aware of how much i took advantage of him when we dated in high school. also he’s in jail rn. yay. so fun. love it. some stupid irrelevant probation violations in october, and we just finally had the court hearing last friday. honestly, i think they would have just let him go with a slap on the wrist, bc he didn't really do anything wrong, he just didn't get proper approval on a couple things, but they listed all the violations he’s had in the past 5 years of being on probation, and yeah, i understand. he just didn’t care for the first couple years. we weren’t really talking during that time. fun story the last time i talked to him before he got in trouble, he was telling me he didn’t love me anymore, that he’d finally moved on and was doing well living in san antonio, doing the musician thing. and i tried really hard to pretend lk idrc bc i was in a relationship, but i had this weird addiction to him wanting me. i ran back to him so many times after we broke up for good jr yr, but idk, i was dumb. hearts are so fickle. whatever. so yeah we’re married now. someday our kids will be so confused by our love story, but whatevs, hopefully they just learn from our mistakes. until then, ill worry about how to get them to shorten his probation that was just extended another 5 years bc i don’t want to have kids while hes on probation, and i also don’t want to wait until we’re 30. i’m doing surprisingly well considering i’ve been living on my own for the past week. i will be moving back to parents’ for the remaining 82 days he’ll be gone to save some money and give him peace of mind bc we live in a sketchy neighborhood. thankfully my dad owns the building we’re living in, so i can do whatever with our stuff here. it definitely sucks, but it could suck worse. when we first started talking again in 2014, it was only a month or so before he was back in jail bc a stupid technicality, which was really his po’s fault in my opinion, but who am i? and that time he was here in county for an unknown amount of time before they sent him to a facility in dallas. none of the time here counted towards the 90 days he had to spend there, so he was gone about 5 months by the end of it and i only got to visit him once when a friend and i made the drive to dallas and had to say we were his common law wife and adopted brother. whack. so he’s staying here in town this time, which means i can see him twice a week. it still sucks, but it could def suck worse. emotionally, the first couple days were hard, but really, i’m doing okay. just staying busy. we just went through a second downsizing at work, so my workload has doubled, so that’s been good for passing weekdays. rn i’m working on cleaning and getting ready to move, so weekends and evenings are covered for now to. we’re trying to focus on weeks/visits left, rather than days. it’s easier that way. only 12 more saturdays until he’s home. that’s not so bad. and really, i think this is good for me, i’m realizing how much i depended on him for really dumb things. i still haven’t gone to the grocery store by myself. he always makes me breakfast every morning. i didn’t even realize until monday morning came and i was like wtf i need to get breakfast. soo dumb. i’ve been making myself breakfast and really just being a normally functioning adult. no small potatoes, i’ve really spent a lot of time trying to press into God and figure out where He wants us, bc we’ve been on this train of mediocre contentment, and really it hasn’t been fun. and i also realized how co-dependent we really are. i still have avoided a lot of social things, but more so for the sake of money and not really wanting to answer when people ask me where he is. not really bc i just didn’t want to go. plus i really have been busy. i’ve started watching parks & rec from the beginning again before bed bc we were watching the office and he’d be upset if i kept watching w/o him. i forgot a lot of things, so it’s been fun. i really love p&r, and anything amy poehler does in general. hm. idk i guess that’s it for now. ima go get spruced up bc visitation is in an hour. lucky for him, my husband looks hot in yellow and his hair just does what he wants. this mess takes some work. 

[angededesespoir]

Flower crown, 1975, sunrise, winged eyeliner, grunge, storms, clouds and marble

TY!  I’m too tired for lengthy explanations atm, so this’ll be shorter than usual

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? 

Okay, so there was a Disney Movie Marathon going on last Weekend & I started singing (badly) during Mulan.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? 

I just played OVW w/ some Friends!  :D  

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

*Stares into the Void*  There’s so many to choose from…..

I went w/ this one:  “You go away for a long time and return a different person - you never come all the way back.” - Paul Theroux

Without going into detail, I changed a lot after a certain Traumatic Event.  I locked a part of myself away, doned a mask.  I have never been the same since.  Aspects remain, the old self bubbles to surface sometimes in our weakest moments, when everything has fallen apart again.

But we are different.  We are gone.  We cannot come back or go back.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Next year is going to be the worst year of your life.  You’re going to find out a lot of things & you’re going to go through hell.  But you will survive.  Some things will eventually improve.  You’re also going to learn a lot about yourself w/ time.  Try not to spend as much time online.  This becomes a major problem later.  Don’t date T.  It’s wrong & will leave you conflicted & guilty later.   You will have people hurt you.  I don’t know if life will get better, but have hope, stay strong, & always try your very best.  

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

If fictional characters count:  Soldier: 76/Jack & just anything encouraging, I guess.  Maybe some words of Wisdom.

IRL:  Uh…..IDK.  The Pope, maybe?  That’d be cool.  He could impart to me some holy words of Advice/Guidance.

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

…..This is so hard.  I can’t survive w/o Music.  :(    

IRL:  Bestie, Alex.  I love her so much even if we haven’t talked in a long time b/c I’m awful at communication.  I feel so comfy & loved when I’m w/ her.   Also, potential loophole to the one song thing b/c she can play Guitar.

Fictional:  Soldier: 76 (I love him too much) or Lucio (listen he’s a good man & I also might be able to utilize his Music making as a loophole to the one song thing).

Song:  Uh….. we’ll go w/ “Bloody Shirt” by To Kill A King/Bastille.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

I’m…..technically both.  (Genderfluid.)  

I don’t usually wear nail polish.  I suck at applying it & I’m afraid it’ll make my nails yellow over time.  I might try it out at some point, though, b/c I like how nail polish looks.  But it’d be more of a once in a blue moon type of thing.

I prefer having longer hair, but I gotta admit, the thought’s crossed my mind before.  I don’t think I’d look good w/ it, though lol.  (Also, my parents would be upset.)

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Overwatch.  Surviving somehow.  :P

[lasciviousscribe-blog]

Chapter 28 Complication

She laid in his bed, feeling more exhausted than ever but they haven’t talked about what she needed and it was important to her. Touching his face he smirked not realizing she was already awake. 

“I really need to talk to you.” Inching in closer, she could feel him tiredly kiss her neck. She couldn’t help but kiss him back as she attempted to sit herself on top of his hips. Her hands pressed hard on his chest trying to get herself comfortable, she smiled seeing him tiredly wake up.

“Did I do something wrong?” His hands rubbed his face while he yawned trying to wake up, feeling her nudge herself forward slightly he smirked again. Siting up he rested his back against the headboard and watched her just stare at him tiredly. Her hand touched his face as she spoke to him, caressing his neck slightly she didn’t want to upset him.

“No, of course not..I just..Papa said something to me the other day a-and I have to tell you.” His hand trailed up her waist seeing how upset she’s getting, “P-Papa said I had to decide if-if I wanted to stay here or if I wanted to g-go back to my grandmother’s. If I go back to my grandmother’s I-I can’t come see you anymore. I miss your attention and h-how you call me Bunny, I want that b-but I can’t stay here. I need so much right now and I don’t know exactly what I should do, I don’t want to lose you but I know Earth has feelings for me too.”

“It’s okay, whatever you decide is all right with me. If you decide not to stay, I understand because things here are never okay and I’d be more than happy to see you better. So-”

“But I can’t stand not seeing you.” Whining, he smirked watching her beg for his attention.

“I thought you wanted to be with Earth?” Shrugging her shoulders she let out a sigh, kissing his cheek she didn’t know what to say anymore.

“I don’t know but I’m only here until Sunday morning. I haven’t figured what I want to do or say anymore around anyone.”

“Bunny, I’d do anything for you if you asked. I guess what I’m saying is - I want to be with you and I’m sure your grandmother would understand if-” Kissing him eagerly several times, she felt his hands pull her in closer not wanting to discuss this anymore. He wanted to undress her and spent more time with her but neither of them did anything to make that happen. Wrapping her arms around his neck, there was a silence between them she wanted every moment with him to matter but it didn’t.

Sighing, the two of them just looked at seeing her rosy cheeks he kissed her one last time. Crawling off his lap he then helped her put on her ankle brace, she left without another word and wondered what things are going to be like from now on out. Leaving his bedroom, she was almost at her door when she heard footsteps. Forcing a smile it was Earth, he walked up to her looking as if he hasn’t slept all night. His one hand touched her face while he kissed her cheek,

“Do you want to come in? I have to talk to you about something.” Nodding, he walked into her bedroom while she collected some of his clean clothes before scurrying into her room.

The two of them showered together, he quickly slid on his boxers and helped her out of the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she let out a tied sigh as she watched him start to get dressed frantically. Putting on her robe she wasn’t ready to get dressed or to do anything else other than talk to him. Tying it tight, she watched his hands shake as he tried to put on his belt.

“Are you doing okay?” He yawned and grabbed his shirt from her, “Earth, what’s bothering you?” Fixing her damp hair, she was waiting for some answer but he said nothing. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her eyes narrowed, confused by what he meant watching him pick up her ankle brace from the floor. Kneeling down in front of her, he helped her put on her ankle brace but once he stood up she pulled on his hand, “Why didn’t you tell me you were thinking about leaving?”

“I wanted to tell you, Honey. I haven’t seen you in days so I haven’t had a chance too. Don’t be upset with me.” It was clear how bothered he was by all this, he unraveled himself from her and adjusted his coat.

“I’m upset but I don’t have time for this right now. I have to go to work-”

“You’ve worked so much, can’t you just sit with me and talk?” She stood up uneasily and put her hands on his chest, “I know I say and do things that aren’t always right b-but I do care for you. I’ve tried to figure out what I really want b-because I do know it upsets you that I spend time with Alpha and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for ever hurting you, Honey. I’m sorry for everything, you’ve made me so happy these last few weeks and I never got to tell you that.” His hands wrapped around her waist, hugging her tight as chin rested on her shoulder.

“I just don’t want to see you leave, I honestly...I don’t care if you continue to spend time with Alpha, I could care less at this point but I don’t like being put second. I want you to be with me and be happy bec-because I love you Corine. I know you may not love me back or Alpha or anyone here for that matter but I want you to know that you’ve meant so much to me and I can’t stand the idea of never seeing you again.” Kissing her neck, she saw how rosy red his face was as he forced a smile.

“I would be devastated to not have you in my life. Maybe my grandmother can understand that, right? I was planning on leaving earlier than Sunday, s-so I can talk to her about what’s going to happen with me. We’ll be okay, Honey something about you is so wonderful and special to me so we can figure this out.” Kissing him, she felt him untie her robe and pull her in closer.

“If you had to choose b-between me or Alpha who would you choose now? You’d always choose Alpha but..” Shrugging his shoulders, she bit her bottom lip hard not wanting to answer that, “Just tell me, I won’t b-be upset but there’s only so much I can take-”

“Okay, fine. I still don’t love Alpha, I really thought..he’d change you know? After all of this, I-I thought I could love him and he’d...I was so wrong. He isn’t any better than before which scares me b-because I admit it, I like the way he treats me sometimes and I know it’s probably wrong but I can’t help it. Then there’s you, whose always so sweet and caring but there’s things you done that I’m not happy with. You’re very timid when we first met and I was afraid you’d do something but instead you helped me. You’ve helped me and comforted me more than I could’ve ever asked for, you..you’ve done more than I ask-”

“Isn’t that the point of being in love? You can’t stop obsessing and being fixated on someone, wanting to do everything possible for them. I’d literally do anything for you, if you just asked me Corine. I don’t know what it is but recently I’ve felt like I couldn’t live without you and I want to just be there for you-”

“But you’ve done things you shouldn’t have, you should’ve never asked Omega for help or-or get involved with Air by stealing my necklace. How do I forgive you because these are two men that ruined my life, h-how am I supposed to live with that? I can’t love you after the things you did because if you never went to those two, everything would’ve been different. I can’t love Alpha because I know he’s not capable of controlling himself, there’s things I adore in both of you but there’s so many things I can’t ignore. That’s why I’m leaving earlier than Sunday night because I need the time for myself. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to ever see you again but this means, I need some time to myself before I can truly say I love you.” Her words came out colder than she wanted, she watched him start to cry. Wiping his face, he shook his head in disagreement to all of this, “I’m sorry, Earth.”

“I don’t want your apology, you’ll say all of this and next thing you’l be with Alpha. I can’t compete at all, I’ve known that the day Alpha said he found some naive little girl in the woods. I knew I had no chance with you because I can see how you look at him, you have this strange way you act and I don’t get any of your attention-”

“Yes you do, Earth. That fucking night I got here, I wanted you. I wanted you for months and I never got to see you b-because Alpha said it was wrong to be spending time with more than one person. He told me I was his property at one point and I had to listen in order not to be punished, he does things his way and I tried. I tried so hard to get him to change and let me do things how I wanted but-”

“You always have some excuse when it comes to Alpha. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I hope you can decide what you want and maybe I’m not meant to be in your life anymore.” Storming out of her room, she wiped her face and started to pack her things in anger.

Getting herself dressed, she put on her slippers and crept downstairs realizing it was already starting to get late. Knocking on the office door, she entered and walked herself in not looking at Papa. He noticed her cardigan fell off her shoulder as she crossed her arms, 

“Sweetheart.” He sounded excited to see her, “Is something wrong you’re awfully quiet.” Shaking her head she didn’t want to look at him knowing she’d start crying.

“C-Can you..I’d like to go to my grandmother’s to-tonight.” She heard him stand up and walk around the desk, nudging her chin, “Please? W-Would you take me, I’m scared to be alone and-and-”

“I’d be more than happy too.” He adjusted her cardigan for her as she sniffled, “It’s clear someone upset you but I won’t pry.” Rubbing her arms he tried to keep his distance from her emotional state but he felt awful seeing how upset she always is.

“If I go back to my-my grandmother’s...I still w-want to see you.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about not being able to see me because I’ll be around more than you think.” Forcing a smile, she wiped her face and the two of them went to her grandmother’s house which turned out to be a lot closer than she realized. 

The door opened, she wrapped herself around Mabel tightly as Papa dropped her bag next to the door. Mabel kissed her cheek,

“Corine, why don’t you go lay down for a bit okay?” Sighing she walked around the two of them and towards her room, “Would you like to stay?” 

He checked his watch and shrugged his shoulders, “I would, you don’t mind?”

“I’m always happy when you stop by, Honey. I’ll pour you a drink and we can talk about Corine, yeah?” Nodding he stepped in and sat himself down on the couch. The two of them spent most of the night together as Corine slept trying to ignore everything that’s happened and wanted this to be the right decision.

[madokarmagikat-blog]

aaaaaaaaaaa.