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comeonthinkers · 3 years

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The Constant Struggle of Cuteness

I feel like, this morning, I need to talk about body image. Body image, and the constant barrage of conflicting messages around body image that I, as a midsize woman, receive and dissect every day.

First of all: midsize. Was this even a term five years ago? As “plus size” has become more ubiquitous and more accepted in the past decade, “fat” has been reclaimed, and “curvy” is suddenly more of a feeling than a descriptor, the terms I used to identify with as a teenager now, somehow, no longer apply to me anymore. I’m not sure what happened in the past decade; in high school I distinctly remember almost always being the largest woman in the room. Since then, whether it’s due to perception, self-confidence, age, awareness, or just... overall changes in the population, I now find myself distinctly in the middle.

Note: I’ve been a size 12-16 my entire post-adolescent life. For one brief stint after college I could fit into a size 10. But before and since, 14 has been the mainstay numeral in my wardrobe. My steady friend and most accurate guesstimate across brands as to what my body may fit.

14, despite being the most (so I’m told) “common” size amongst women, was for many years infamous for being the most left-out, in-between size in clothing stores. In juniors’ stores (marketed toward teens: your Charlotte Russe’s and Forever 21′s), 14 would translate to the non-existent XXL: with “XL” usually falling in the “12″ range. In Plus Size or Women’s stores, 14 is a 0X; 1X is most commonly measured around a “16″ size.

About 5 years ago I found a fashion youtuber who made a video decrying the variation of a size 12 across different brands. And I’ll agree: sizes vary a lot from brand to brand, despite there being a base similarity in most big brand stores. She, like me, found herself living in this dreaded size 12-14 fashion purgatory, this no-womans-land of sizes. And even here! The numbers can’t be trusted!

She called herself “midsize”. She looked a lot like me. And at last, I had a label I could consistently search and see body types that I could identify with. From what I can tell, midsize is the chosen moniker for fashion influencers sizes 8-16, with of course, varying body shapes and compositions. For example, many of the folks I follow on instagram that claim “midsize” wear a VERY different bra size from me- so to find “fashion inspiration” I can actually act upon from midsize influencers, I also have to bring in a few accounts that allow for more top-heavy-friendly designs.

Despite all of the overwhelming positivity and diversity now available to me as a midsize woman (for example, almost all plus-size brands now start at a size 10-12 (00X-0X), and most “regular” retail brands now extend to a XXL), I can’t help but go back to my first observation: I’m no longer the largest woman in the room. While I don’t consider myself particularly unhealthy, I also know I’m not passing any presidential fitness tests any time soon. I find it difficult to run for extended periods of time. My joint strength isn’t nearly what it should be to support my weight. While muscular, I have a lot of extraneous body fat that adds strain to my daily life, and all my body’s systems: skeletal, endocrine, muscular, cardiovascular. This isn’t good. I’ve worked for years to try to find ways to get stronger, lose weight, and improve my overall health- in fact, the difficulty I faced when trying to lose weight was what led me to discover that I have PCOS and a few hormonal hurdles to maintaining a healthy body weight.

But when I try to research how best to approach health and weight loss with PCOS, the studies are few and far between- and when available are fairly inconclusive and far from thorough. I’m left to follow MORE accounts of personal success stories, all of which are biased toward one product or another, one lifestyle brand or book tour, all of which are antithetical to every other product, book, or brand I’ve seen before.

On the one hand, I’m grateful to see more body types represented in the media. It IS helpful to my self-esteem to normalize the bodies of women both my size and larger than me (even if there’s still a prevalence of too-smooth skin and too-round belly buttons). But I also worry about how we tend to conflate feeling good about ourselves to being healthy. They aren’t the same. And we’re letting commercial forces tell us that it’s okay to be unhealthy even when attempting to BE healthy: mentally or physically.

Time to come clean here: for the past year, I’ve been experimenting on and off with a carnivore lifestyle, which, OBVIOUSLY, many people assume is super unhealthy, much like the stigma around Atkins in the early 2000′s. Honestly, it feels a lot like Atkins did back in the day: lots of bacon, burgers, steak, and eggs. Quite literally “zero-carb”, as opposed to just “low-carb”. While low-carb isn’t really new anymore, and many people can see carnivore as a logical step past the surprisingly universally accepted ketogenic diet, I was amazed to discover just how much the “science” of the trendier diets of the past decade (paleo, keto, whole-30) don’t match up to the scientific, accepted nutritional advice of the actual medical community.

Last year I started going to a weight-loss clinic at the behest of my OB-GYN in an attempt to get my PCOS and weight “under control”. I’m gonna spoil most of the rest of this rant by saying this was a pretty dumb idea for someone like me. This clinic was created around those with extreme weight issues, for whom psychological care and bariatric surgery are the most “effective” forms of treatment (again, according to the health care system that seems determined to sell it, but I’ll talk more about THAT another time). The nutritionist I met with gave me the same spiel I’d read time and time again from every weight-loss specialist book I’d bought, despite me relaying to her my decades-long struggle with traditional diets and fat-loss strategies. A ketogenic diet was never recommended to me, nor any kind of actual dietary changes to help with hormone balance/control: I was prescribed metformin (a drug for insulin resistance most commonly prescribed to type 2 diabetics) and told to eat a low-fat, high-fiber diet.

I didn’t lose any weight. My periods didn’t regulate. I just stopped gaining weight as fast... although I did eventually gain back the 12 pounds I’d lost from my first 2 months on carnivore.

The truth is, that treatment plan, that clinic... it doesn’t exist for someone who is trying to change their body chemistry. It might work for folks that are so obese that literally ANY form of mindful eating will help them lose 200 pounds. But let’s be real: if I lost 200 pounds, I’d weigh 6 pounds. I’m a tall, muscular woman with some fat that has tried all the recommended diets for fat loss. Through them all, I fight cravings and energy loss, mood swings, and all the symptoms that come with PCOS. The ONLY thing I’ve found in the past 10 years that actually helps with my PCOS?

Regular exercise, stress management, and a carnivore diet.

I’ll also point out that when I DID lose a considerable amount of weight after college (due to what I think was a combination of 1. getting enough sleep for once, 2. intermittent fasting, and 3. regular hiking), it was also easier for me to maintain my weight and many of my PCOS symptoms went away. It wasn’t until I switched to a HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL method that I then gained back all of the weight I lost (and then some) and once again began fighting uncontrolled PCOS symptoms. They compounded on each other, and made it harder and harder to get back to any kind of “normal”.

So, I’m back on carnivore. In addition to more stable energy, noticeable reduction of PCOS symptoms, and slight weight loss, I also just... hurt a lot less on carnivore. Along this journey I’ve finally realized that I do in fact have a chronic pain problem. Whether it’s due to chronic inflammation, past injuries, or food sensitivities, I’m not really sure: but I know when I eat carnivore, my chronic pain all but goes away. Recently, I’ve been recovering from a back injury, so there was of course some pain associated with that (as well as a break from regular exercise, which I plan to get back to once I’m cleared by my chiropractor), but the daily body aches, numbness, and discomfort?

Gone.

I’ve got regular periods when I eat this way- like, ACTUALLY one a month like I’m supposed to have. My facial hair growth slows down, even thins out. My focus improves. I sleep better, and actually follow a normal circadian rhythm. What’s total bananas is that I’m not the only one who experiences this: MANY folks who’ve tried this way of eating report daily quality of life improvements.

I’m not going to say everyone should eat this way; I’m not even going to suggest that everyone with PCOS should eat this way. But I WOULD love to see some actual RESEARCH done on this way of eating- or even better research on a ketogenic diet! I’m so frustrated by the lack of medical research on nutrition, and in particular the lack of action to curb the universally-accepted-to-be-unhealthy nutrition standards in America. While I won’t say it’s hard to eat carnivore (cause like, all diets are hard), I have noticed over the years that NO ONE IN OUR COUNTRY IS HEALTHY anymore- except for those whose JOB it is to be healthy. And this isn’t a coincidence!! Almost all cultures that have adopted American corporatized food structures are chronically unhealthy, and much, much more fat than they used to be.

I agree that being fat isn’t always a personal failing, and I’m so, SO glad that more and more figures in our media diets are representing the diverse catalogue of body shapes and sizes reflected in our world. I’m happy that my future daughter won’t be fat-shamed the same way I was as a little girl, and that she likely won’t be told (like I was) that she’s too fat to be what she wants to be when she grows up, despite not actually being all that fat.

BUT. Fat representation is not the hill I want to literally die on. I’m not willing to throw my health, my comfort, my ability to be active, away for my “right” to eat ice cream every day. I’m sick of being marketed to constantly as a garbage disposal. I’m not just here to eat and diet and wear clothes.

I’m here to LIVE. I’m here to plant gardens and make art and take walks and enjoy the seasons. And I can’t do a lot of those things if I’m constantly sick and in pain. And it’s way harder to enjoy not being sick and not being in pain when all we know to do as a society when spending time together is... eat food.

What frustrates me is, I think so much of this really comes down to marketing, corporate profit-mongering, and the way our political system is set up to make laws for companies instead of people. I think capitalism is making us fat and unhealthy, to sell us sugar and diets and medicine and surgeries in an endless cycle of crap. I don’t really have much more to say on that, I don’t have sources, except like... well, look around you. Look at the system we have. Look at what we’re told to do to escape it. And look at how many forces are there to take us right back to the beginning of the roller coaster when we have a little success.

Side note/conspiracy theory time: I actually think liposuction might be a more safe and effective (literally EFFECTIVE not just safe) form of “weight loss surgery” in helping folks with actual, permanent weight loss. Hear me out: while I will fully admit I can’t remember where I read any of this (as I’ve read so many scores of information regarding health and weight loss over my lifetime), I seem to remember body fat working something like this: it’s really easy for your body to make new fat cells, but very difficult for your body to destroy them. So, when you gain fat, it first occurs by your body filling your fat cells with fat, until they can’t hold anymore, and then your body makes new fat cells, which makes it easier for your body to hold onto said fat. The best way to “reset” your body’s fat threshold is to literally destroy or remove the fat cells. And, I assume, if you adopt more healthy habits AFTER having liposuction, your body would be less likely to create more fat cells than it was when you lived an unhealthy lifestyle.

Bariatric surgery is incredibly invasive and dangerous, and almost always ends up reversed by bad habits and your body’s natural ability to STORE FAT AND STRETCH YOUR STOMACH. It’s a temporary solution, and often proves to be ineffective in the long term, and leads to many unfortunate complications over time, not to mention the recovery from that surgery is LONG and TOUGH.

But liposuction (the most COMMON FORM OF PLASTIC SURGERY, I’ll add), is the only “weight loss” procedure (despite not being labeled as such- it’s “cosmetic surgery” even though it most definitely WOULD result in weight loss, right?) that actually removes fat from your body. Literally takes the fat cells away so your body can’t fill them up again, without once again needing to create more.

But bariatric surgery is covered by insurance, and liposuction isn’t... despite the fact that removing weight and fat from the body would be a more instant and potentially effective cure for obesity and its underlying symptoms, and being a simpler procedure overall, as well as extremely common.

So like... why is being fat something poor people are forced to endure dangerous surgery and super long recoveries and lifetime habit changes to overcome, but rich people just get to have their fat vacuumed away? Sounds sus to me.

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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Name: Stephanie.

Country: USA.

Age: 31.

Gender(s): Female

Height: ~5′4

weight: 70-something lbs.

eye color: Brown.

skin color: White.

Heritage: I’ve been really wanting to do one of those ancestry dna or 23 and me tests to find out exactly what I am. Relationship status: Single.

Are you physically healthy? No.

Are you mentally healthy? Nope

Job?: No job.

school: I graduated college back in 2015.

Favs:

Animal: Dogs and giraffes.

Flower: I don’t really have one.

Movie: I have many favorites.

TV show: I have many favorites.

Music: I like variety.

Band: One of them will always be Linkin Park.

Video Game: Mario Bros games and Animal Crossing: New Horizon

Gaming Console: Nintendo Switch.

Name: Alexander. ;)

Person: My family.

Love life:

1: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Nope.

2: Do you love them?

3: Are you still in love with an ex? No.

4: How many people have you dated? Two.

5: Do you think you’ll get married? No.

6: Have you ever been emotionally/physically abused in a relationship? No.

7: Have you ever hurt your partner by accident without knowing it? I’m single, but no I don’t think I have in the past. But if I didn’t know it then I wouldn’t know?

8: Whats important to you in a relationship? Communication, trust, understanding, patience.

9: Do you have to see them everyday? ( or hear from them)? I’m singleeee.

10: Do you think you can love someone within 2 weeks? I personally don’t think so.

Friendship and Family:

1: How many friends do you have? Zero.

2: What type of friend are you? Not a good one anymore.

3: Have you ever been friends with someone for longer than 7 years? Yeah. My former best friend and I were friends for almost 15 years.

4: Do you have one best friend, more or none? One, my mom.

5: Have you ever had a friend just stop being your friend and you never knew why? Yes.

6: Do you get along with family? Yes.

7: Do you have a family member you hate? No.

8: Does your family accept who you are? Yes.

9: Are you an only child or have siblings? I have 2 brothers.

10: Do you have parents that still live together? Yes.

School:

1:What grade are you in? I’m not.

2: Are you in Middle, High, or college? ( or neither)? Neither, like I said I graduated college back in 2015.

3: Whats your favorite class? English was always my favorite. In college I enjoyed most of my psych classes.

4: Do you have a fav school year? Elementary school years.

5: Are you a good student? I was, yeah.

6: Do you think homework is good or bad? I wouldn’t say it’s good or bad. I mean, I get seeing if you’re understanding then material and whatnot and applying it. I guess it depends on the amount assigned and what type of assignment it is.

7: Have you ever had a teacher who was really funny but had poor teaching skills? Yes.

8: Is your GPA high or low? It was high.

9: Do you like to particpate in conversations in the class room or are you the listener? I was definitely a listener. I haaaaated classes that made class discussion apart of your grade.

10: Do you take part in extra school events? (eg. Plays, sports, leadership,clubs)? I was in clubs in high school and the psych club in college, even serving as a board member.

Health

1: Do you need to lose or gain weight? I definitely need to put on some weight.

2: Have you ever had the swine flu? (H1n1) No. I remember being scared about getting it and that whole thing wasn’t even on the level of covid.

3: Do you like to go to the doctors? Nooo. I’ve had more than my share of doctor appointments of all different kinds all throughout my life. They still make me anxious and stressed out, they’re definitely not something I find enjoyable.

4: Have you ever puked in school or at work? I remember getting sick once in kindergarten and having to rush outside to the trash can.

5: Have you ever been extremely sick where you couldnt even leave your bed? Yes, I’ve experienced that several times.

6: Do you hate puking or does it make you feel better? I hate actually doing it, but afterwards I usually do feel better. There are times where it gets to the point where I wish I would just do it already and get it over with cause I know it’d help me feel better. That’s when I’m really not feeling well.

7: Have you ever coughed up blood? No.

8: Should you be eating healthier ? Yes.

9: Do you lie to your doctor? I downplay some things or not share certain things, admittedly. :X

10: Have you ever taken too much advils? No. That would make me sick.

Mental Health:

1: Do you have a mental illness? Yes.

2: Do you take anti-depressants? No.

3: Are you mentally stable? Uhhh.

4: Have you ever been misdiagnosed? Yes.

5: Do you think you have an disorder but havent been properly diagnosed yet? Maybe.

6: Is self diagnosing good or bad? I don’t see an issue with researching yourself and thinking you may have something, but it’s important to take that information to a doctor. However, sadly I know that not everyone is able to do that. And I also have a problem with doing that myself, which I think can cause unnecessary stress. I also think people tend to throw around labels and say they have something when they don’t. Gah, it’s a slippery slope.

7: Should we give more money to mental health research? Yes, absolutely.

8: Do you think everyone has a chance to over come their mental disorders? I think many can learn to better manage some of them, but I feel like they’re always going to be there.

9: Would you ever not date someone if they had a severe disorder? ( Schizophrenia,BPD, mood disorders)? I don’t know and I’m probably horrible for saying that. I have my mental disorders and I know it can be a lot for people to be around and handle. I just... I don’t know if I’d be able to be there for them in a way they might need ya know? I lack the experience. I can’t say no for certain. I think it would just really depend on the situation and if I learned more about it.

10: Does mental illness run in your family? Yes.

SEX

1: Virgin? Yes.

2: what age did you lose it? 3: Did you take sex ed? 6th grade, middle school, and a health and psych class my freshman year in high school.

4: Does size matter?

5: Whats your favorite poistions?

6: Does virginity exist? I believe so. I know some feel it’s not a real thing or a social construct, but to me it’s a thing. It’s someone who hasn’t had sex. When you have sex, you’re said to have lost your virginity and to me that just means in the very literal sense that you’re not a virgin anymore. I’m not referring to it as something deeper. Although, it can be for some people. And while I don’t think it’s like losing some part of yourself or something life altering, I personally feel like I would feel a change in some way. I also want to add that it’s something I want “lose” or share with someone special. I don’t know, man. I’m sure I’m not explaining it well. It’s just a personal thing.

7: Do you think sex is overated? I wouldn’t know.

8: Is making love and fucking different? One just sounds more romantic and slow and passionate and the other sounds rough lol 9: Is it important for both genders to understand eachothers bodies? Yeah.

10: If someone was a virgin and was raped, did they lose their virginity? If it’s not consensual or your choice then you can choose not to count it is how I see it. Like yes, technically they’ve had sex, but something so horrific and traumatic doesn’t count. Losing their virginity should be done their way, with someone they want to share that with. In the situation they were raped, they’re allowed to take their power and control back and count it when they do so with someone they want to do, consensually.

Check the box:

1.My hair color is: [x] Brown [] Black [] Blonde [x]Red [] Funky colors [] Auburn [] more than one color <<< It’s a mix of my natural color and red because I haven’t dyed it since February.

2.Eye color: []Blue []Grey [x]Brown []Light brown []dark brown []green []amber [] I have two different colors of eyes

3.I am a : []Male [x] Female []Trans Male [] Trans Female []Gender Fluid [] I dont have a gender []Non Binary [] other

4: I am: []Fit [] Average [x]Skinny []Fat

5: I love my : [x]Hair []Eyes []Smile []Teeth []Skin []everything about myself []None of these. <<< Italicized because I only like my hair when it’s been dyed and my roots aren’t showing haha... unlike now.

6: I hate my: [x]Hair []eyes [xx]smile [x]teeth [x]skin [x] everything about myself [] I dont hate anything about myself

7: My feet are: [x]Small []Wide []Narrow []long []large [x]Ugly []Pretty

8: I have a hard time: []Finding something to wear [x]Making Friends [x] making food [x]staying focused

9: I am: []Employed [x]Not employed []retired []I can’t work []Self employed []Looking for a job

10: I love: []the moon []the sun [x]the stars []our galaxy []planets

Bold what is true:

I am Funny

I am a girl

I have no hair

I have curly hair

^ I hate it

I have straight hair

I have a dog

I have a cat

I have both

I love to get drunk

I don’t drink

I love to smoke weed but i hate smoking cigarettes

I love both

I rather have one best friend than 20 friends who i am not close with

My dad died

My mom died

My parents are both dead

My parents are alive

I like to touch my bruises

I have funny teeth

I love Mcdonalds fries

Sometimes when Im alone I sing as loud as I can

even if i cant sing

I believe in God

I believe in the butterfly affect

I hate video games

I wish I was taller

I can’t understand math

I am very good at writing an essay

I never had sex before

I love Mac N Cheese

I love Disney Movies

I prefer Dreamswork over Walt Disney

I am going to College

I finished college

I wish I went to college

I hate my job

I am the boss at my job

I have a feelings for a friend but i cant tell them because it would ruin our friendship

^ I have feelings and i told them

I wish soda was healthy

I sleep with the window opened

This survey was too long

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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batfamquotes · 5 years

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LMAO I forgot there are people who don’t know that talia al-ghul had sex with jason todd

that’s like people not knowing nightwing once kissed catwoman

this came up because https://shewhotellsstories.tumblr.com reblogged this

https://incorrectbatfamiliaquotes.tumblr.com/post/180702420910/jason-todd-i-hadnt-felt-that-messed-up-mentally

and their tags were basically asking did talia commit a statutory rape upon jason

and I realized wow people really don’t know that story and have zero context.

so I want to clarify just what happened between talia and jason

for the record, I’m not justifying what happens, I’m just explaining the events as they occurred.

(warning: this gets long)

SO!

in red hood the lost days we’re shown what jason todd was doing in between getting resurrected, crawling out of his grave, and terrorizing batman when he comes back to gotham as red hood.

where was he?

with talia al-ghul

what was he doing?

getting training from the best teachers she picked out for him

and then killing the ones who turned out to be morally corrupt.

after crawling out of his grave, jason spent 5 months wandering around, then hospitalized, then back to wandering the streets before the al-ghuls found him and brought him to one of their compounds

then after a year of trying and failing to figure out how he came back from the dead, ra’s deemed jason a lost cause. jason had shown that he was a master combatant but he wasn’t all there, not mentally. now this could be because of the obvious trauma he’d been through, and an effect of being resurrected & being described as half dead. it’s very possible he had brain damage, and probably never would have recovered completely or maybe he would have, over a period of several years.

but talia didn’t have that option. ra’s forbid her to tell batman that his son was in her care and custody. and he decided that jason would leave them and be cared for in secret, since in his eyes he wasn’t improving.

so talia sped up the process. she shoved jason into her father’s lazarus pit, gave him a survival kit, and helped him escape the al-ghul compound.

why? why do all this? well it’s implied that talia hoped to restore jason to the boy he once was, then she’d return him to batman who would be grateful in kind and love talia back.

but it’s pointed out that the chances of that happening aren’t high, and that the longer talia kept jason from bruce, the more likely it would be that bruce would be angry with her for keeping his son from him and not letting him know jason was alive.

after the dip in the lazarus pit, jason’s mental faculties are back to working order, and the pits healing factor works on his body as well, giving him a very late growth spurt.

it’s believed the lazarus pit made jason go “crazy” when he went on his vengeance driven kill spree but all it did for him mentally was undo his brain damage, throughout lost days and under the red hood jason’s got a clear moral stance and is driven by anger. yes he’s violent, but he’s coherent.

after reconnecting with talia, jason tells her he wants to kill batman for not avenging him and asks for her help, which she gives, while also stalling him by insisting he gain training in a variety of fields.

which he does. he’s an incredibly fast learner.

during that time, talia helps jason financially, paying for his livelihood and his teachers that she picks out for him

as his goals change, during the story he meets with talia on several occasions, telling her of his progress and plans. she’s a major part of his life, but he’s left to his own devices.

at the end of the series, talia tells jason that her father is dead by batman’s hand, and encourages him to gain vengeance on bruce, for slights made against him and her.

she then pulls jason towards her, and kisses him. he kisses her back, they fall to the bed, making out, and they have sex.

since up until that point jason had been focusing on training, and no mention of any love interests are made, there’s no reason to think he would have had penetrative sex before this, so it’s pretty clear that talia takes jason’s virginity. and yes, virginity is a social construct but for the narrative’s sake let’s call it what it is.

now, when jason comes back from the dead, it’s 6 months after he’s been buried.

at that point, jason was 15

in red hood the lost days it’s clear that a couple years pass between talia helping jason escape, his training, and the time they have sex.

so the timeline is, 15-16, being taken care of by talia, going on the run, deciding to murder batman

16-17, training from different teachers, learning new skills batman hadn’t taught him

18, giving up on murdering batman, and choosing to enact revenge instead, then talia takes his virginity

(for reference, he’s two years older than tim drake who was 16 when jason came back to gotham in under the red hood, so at the end of lost days jason is 18)

here is jason with talia in issue 1

look at how small and tiny he is. just like the malnourished robin he once was. he’s 15 at this point.

this is them in issue 2

he’s clearly older here, but not by much, he’s at least 16.

and here they are in issue 3, you can see jason’s aging, he’s either still 16 or he’s 17

and in issue 4, he’s either a late 17 or an early 18 here at this point in the story.

sidenote, jason with long hair and scruff is a LOOK!

and this is the Moment where they have sex in issue 6 when jason is 18

and the aftermath

I’m pretty sure that’s a condom wrapper next to the phone.

compare jason in issue 1 to issue 6. he goes from a teen to an adult, and the transitions are obvious.

NOW

let’s get into the why.

it’s clear that talia is most likely using jason to get at bruce, but along the way she grows to care for jason.

it should be noted that at that point jason is still emotionally a mess from everything, and talia is dealing with her father’s death, so they’re two compromised individuals seeking comfort in one another. it’s cathartic. but that doesn’t make it healthy.

from the ages of 15 to 18 talia is jason’s primary caretaker. she doesn’t raise him, she’s not his mother, not biologically, legally, or technically. but she is a mother figure to him.

and talia is significantly older than jason, being in either her late 20s or early 30s

they aren’t unaware of their connection through batman, talia being his ex and jason being his adopted son

basically their having sex is a literal and figurative way of saying ‘screw you’ to the man

so their connection through bruce, age difference, power imbalanced relationship in the lost days story line, and their emotionally vulnerable states means that their having sex is unhealthy and it’s meant to be seen that way, it’s not supposed to be “hot” or good.

talia throughout the story manipulates jason into being the type of man bruce refuses to be, one who kills without hesitation.

but I wouldn’t say she takes advantage of him, not in the way you’d assume.

this isn’t a grooming situation, talia manipulates jason emotionally but not sexually. it’s messed up, we’re not contesting that

however, we will say that jason todd is legally an adult when talia has sex with him and it’s clear that it’s consensual on both their parts

jason’s not in a good head space when it happens but he is an adult physically, mentally and emotionally.

it’s not statutory rape or incestuous, but it is very very messed up.

the closest comparison I can make is, imagine during stephanie brown’s batgirl run when she was an 18 year old college student and wasn’t dating tim drake at the time, if bruce wayne found himself attracted to her and had sex with stephanie brown in spite of her being his son’s ex girlfriend who tim obviously was still in love with and would never be over, bruce being significantly older than stephanie, not acting as a father figure towards her, but a mentor of sorts over the years, and bruce knowing stephanie since she was a 14 year old teenage girl. illegal? no. messed up? very.

I’m aware an 18 year old jason’s not going to have the same maturity level as someone older, he’s still growing, but that’s not the point here.

it’s consensual and legal sure

but it’s also unhealthy and messed up for the reasons listed above

it’s interesting, that jason wanting to find his biological mother was the major catalyst that drove him to the events that led to his death, and after he rose from the dead he found a mother figure in talia

#talia al-ghul #jason todd #red hood #batfam #batfamily #my post

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laughingpinecone · 4 years

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Press Start letter

I am laughingpineapple on AO3

It’s a long list of character combos so the specific requests aren’t overly detailed, please draw at will from my general likes and general fandom likes in addition or as an alternative to any of those!

All requests are art or fic - for art, the stuff I like is the kind that depicts the characters doing something. I’ll always be happier with a very simple drawing of two characters walking together or sharing a cup of coffee than with an ambitious composition that looks like an Avengers poster. I also enjoy seeing them wear different clothes, getting a feel of what their fashion sense is like beyond their canon outfit(s).

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, canon-adjacent tropey plots, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploration of secondary bits of canon, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played straight, sensory details, sickfic, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships)

Cool with: any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, nerdy canon references, unrequested characters popping up

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay), canon retellings, consent issues

Dark Souls

I’m only familiar with the first game+DLC! It’s probably relevant to mention that I think that linking the fire is kind of a dumbass move and Gwyn is an ass, but on the other hand Kaathe has his own agenda and there’s no winning move in this world, or at least no obvious one. Feel free to deviate from anyone’s canon endings, to make things happen that’ll stave off their hollowing. I am interested in any of these people meeting and possibly striking up a friendship, and also in exploring Lordran’s temporal/dimensional fuckery, where it’s possible to meet people who have been gone for ages…

Group: Solaire of Astora & Siegmeyer of Catarina: so much fanart of Sun Bro & Onion Bro being bros, so little fic. And yet, the potential! How’d they bounce off each other, what about the fact that Siegmeyer is apparently a proper Catarina knight after all while Solaire just painted his self-made insignia and left, what would Sieg think of Solaire’s quest?

Group: Alvina the Cat & Sieglinde of Catarina: dunno, kitty. I love them both and I want everyone cool to go on adventure with each other. What’s left for Alvina now that Sif is gone, Artorias’ grave desecrated? For her part, did Sieglinde, you know, (mimics Ash Lake)?

Ghost Trick

I am very interested in various characters finding about the erased timeline, but not getting their memories back, and having to live with being told about what they did but never remembering it. Exploring the ghost lore is great. All what-ifs welcome (what if they managed an acceptable happy ending but didn’t reset the timeline, what if a different party went back to the past and kept their memories, what if Alma’s ghost stuck around…) Also open to AUs here, especially for generic fantasy or sci-fi settings or the Final Fantasy ones I prompted last Yuletide.

For the non-canon sides of Jowd/Alma/Cabanela, please no infidelity? I’d be good with either setting the fic during the game timeline or some what-if thereof when the other spouse is dead or unavailable, or simply keeping them offscreen and not mentioning them (eg Alma/Cabanela beach day, Jowd/Cabanela precinct shenanigans)

For Jowd in general, I do love my big boy and enjoy milking that size difference for all it’s worth. In gen contexts too, it’s neat. him big.

Group: Jowd & Yomiel: I’d love to read about the intimate understanding that comes from their shared memories and the horrors they’ve mutually forgiven (and a penchant for morbidity they’ve gained from such horrors probably). Cat dads things welcome.

Group: Alma/Jowd/Cabanela: maybe once Alma and Jowd have figured out he’s smitten and that they do in fact reciprocate... they tease him to death, slowly and deliberately? Is it even a Jowd romance if there’s not an exhausting amount of teasing involved, I ask?

Group: Alma/Jowd & Cabanela: Cabs’ life is wild; his best friends’ home is a safe haven...

Group: Emma & Pigeon Man: Emma’s unsuspected beta reader...

Group: Alma/Cabanela: (taps mic) legs. And fashion!

Group: Cabanela/Jowd: a recent tumblr post made a convincing argument for Cabs liking to be in charge (the argument is just pointing at Cabanela, honestly). Jowd is... agreeable, by his own admission. But is it that simple?

Kentucky Route Zero

I love the ending and I’d love to see its themes and setting explored. I’m all for exploration of any of the game’s themes and for including any staples from adjacent genres - wanna go full-on American Gothic? Dip into surrealism? Take a leaf from Twin Peaks with tulpa / split narratives to explore the characters’ issues? I love AUs so that’s an option too. Or of course there’s Xanadu at the height of its glory, an infinite what-ifs generator. Were the requested characters part of it, what were their digital counterparts up to? A Xanadu narrative would be great! I’d also love to hear about any new spot along the Zero or the Echo river, or an expansion of some place that’s only mentioned by Will in HATATE or only gets a few paragraphs of text. Mostly, I just love all these characters so much and I’m going through the tagset’s options like a hyperactive cat. Any fragment of their lives will make me happy.

Group: Shannon Márquez & Conway & Conway's Dog: does Shannon get to see them after the ending? Even for a moment?

Group: Lula Chamberlain/Joseph Wheattree/Donald: so Lula went back to Mexico. Joseph is pensive. Did the events of the night shake up Donald, or what will it take?

Group: Junebug & Lula Chamberlain: artists! Outspoken... artists... with a complicated personality. Put them in the same room and...?

Group: Junebug & Johnny: where’s the strangest place they played in, and what did Johnny find there?

Group: Conway & Johnny & Junebug (Kentucky Route Zero): their story is about finding individuality, his is about succumbing and losing it. Would any of them pick up on this mid-Act IV? Or just... talking about limbs and stuff?

Group: Cate & Will & Shannon Márquez (Kentucky Route Zero): a few months later, Shannon finds herself on the Mucky Mammoth again...

Group: Carrington & Weaver Márquez & Shannon Márquez (Kentucky Route Zero): maybe the cousins were trying to bond or reminisce or whatever and Carrington dive-bombed into the conversation, but in the end it was an enriching experience... of sorts?

Group: Carrington & Lula Chamberlain (Kentucky Route Zero): I don’t usually look for college shenanigans but this may be the exception? Or Art Opinions?

Group: Carrington & Clara (Kentucky Route Zero): would she even... get a word in? Maybe with the right topic?

Group: Carrington & Cate & Will (Kentucky Route Zero): Mammoth life! ...what does theater have to say about mushrooms again?

Group: Shannon Marquez & Weaver Marquez (Kentucky Route Zero): at the end of it all, Weaver was waiting. After this end, they can stand side by side again...

Group: Emily & Ben & Bob (Kentucky Route Zero): so what does it mean, like, poetically, that they were temporally displaced and Act I is in their future from Act V? Is it possible they were not aware of it?

Mutazione

The island, the sense of community, newcomers joining the community, gardens and music... I love the mood of this little game. Got ideas for some part of the island we haven’t seen? What stories do they tell each other about Moon Dragon and the first days of the new life it brought? The plants encyclopaedia was great - do Yoké’s archives hide some other cool tome? Please, if Graubert is mentioned, I would much prefer a sympathetic portrayal - he’s got his issues but I felt that the game was much harder on him than anyone else.

Group: Yoké & Karoo: I love the friendship between Yoké and Nonno and filtering it through Karoo feels even cooler to me. When did the big spooky bird first visit, did Yoké know or perceive what was going on?

Group: Yoké & Claire: book club book club book club!

Group: Spike/Claire: they’re so cute! Dinner at Mori’s? Swimming together?

Group: Nonno & Spike: I love Nonno’s role in the community and Spike’s role in the community, and they’re the two people who landed there and decided to stay. Could they bond over this?

Group: Dennis & Nonno: Important Tree Health Business!

Group: Bopek & Jell-A: Jell-A is the absolute coolest and Bopek grew on me a lot. Their friendship is adorable! What could they do together? As a side note, Jell-A’s place has the tightest interior decor in the whole game. How’d that happen, and does Bopek get a flair for vintage shapes and volumes in his weaving?

Group: Mori & Nonno & Yoké: FRIENDS. Friends for a long time, through so much pain. An evening together while The Youths (tm) are at Spike’s bar?

Yoké: catch-all Yoké request because he’s my fave! Doing Yoké things, being a big nerd, caring for books and plants and stuff

Pyre

The burning found family feelings, the revolutionary passion, the tension between topside social constraints and the kind of freedom allowed by the Downside! Thoughts about finding oneself at the end of an age, as everything crumbles down to form something new. I love all the themes, the solemnity, the heart of this game. I adore everyone in that Blackwagon+Dalbert+Celeste, so if you want to add a Nightwing or two to any prompt, please do! I also love all the Scribes and find Erisa a compelling tragic figure. Out of the other triumvirates, I’m “love to hate them” for Manley, Brighton, Udmildhe and Deluge and would not like to see them featured in sympathetic roles. My main interest usually lies in post-canon exploration when applicable, but I’m also into various adventures during canon. Pick a location or a place outside the map and see what happens? As for the ending variables, I’d ask for a peaceful revolution and Oralech alive, but no preferences for who’s up and who’s down, pick whatever works best for any given plot bunny.

Group: Tariq & Soliam: what were Tariq and Celeste like in their earliest days? Were they made or summoned from some sort of preexisting star consciousness? They’re wildly different scenarios! I’m good with either. Does Soliam then see Tariq as a child of sorts, someone he made, or something greater than himself? Did he mean to do that, to have these two immortals around? What does Tariq learn from the First Scribe?

Group: Tariq & Dalbert Oldheart: Any excuse for Tariq to hang out with the Fates for a little while, and treasure and be treasured by dear Dalbert...

Group: Oralech & Vagabond Girl: after all is said and done, Oralech’s view of the Scribes is probably... understandably... dire. So of course I want to see him talk it out with ae!

Group: Celeste & Ignarius: look, listen, if the various triumvirates just camped out near their respective Scribe’s place during the Nightwings’ years-long absence (not the only possible explanation for how you find them all neatly lined up before the first lib rite, but an explanation nonetheless, I think. just let me have my crack), that means Iggy was Celeste’s neighbor for a long time. Neighborly hijinks please?

Group: Bertrude/Pamitha: Pam returning from her travels, again and again, and finding a home in Bertrude’s lab, finding an understanding there... Bertrude’s attitude being thorny in a way that’s just what Pam needs to allow herself to open up... also: snake kisses.

Group: Volfred Sandalwood/Oralech: waking up and remembering that the mourning that’s set deep in your roots is for someone who never died, waking up and remembering that the bitterness that consumed you had made up a betrayal that never was, finding each other through these crumbling walls...

Molten Milithe: that’s the pov for a love letter to the Downside, right? And/or which Scribe did she bond with the most? Or the least for that matter?

Volfred Sandalwood: catch-all Volf’n’anyone request. I want to see our tree interact with any friend and foe you might fancy! Arguing for his beliefs, being a history professor through and through, finding himself in a tight spot and getting unexpected help, verbally tearing Brighton a new one if they ever cross each other’s path again...

group: Volfred Sandalwood/Tariq | The Lone Minstrel: Volfred’s zodiac sign is Cancer and Cancer is ruled by the Moon, so there’s that. I love how they both hold the other in the highest esteem, especially on Tariq’s part since he’s the immortal Herald of the Scribes and Volfred is, all in all, a history teacher, but listen to him and you’d think the roles were inverted. I love my nonviolent canon but could anything happen to either of them that may require a rescue, and/or some good old-fashioned h/c? What’s something that could make Tariq of all people lose it? How’s life 100 years on?

Shenmue

This game cares for the little things. I’d love to see fanworks that try to out-slice-of-life canon...

Group: Qiu Hsu & Xianzi Bei: cormorant kung fu adventure! Do they hang out sometimes?

Group: Hazuki Ryo & Shenhua Ling: any moment, discussion, small adventure from their travels together! I love their bond! For all its waifufication of Shenhua, S3 really sold me on their friendship and a shared brand of dorkiness. Alternatively, sometimes I remember that they’d be 50ish in the present day - how and where do you picture them?

The Silver Case

I‘m all for the surrealism, big things being introduced and never picked up again, Rashomon’ing it up with six explanations for the same thing where no single one can be true, people dying and then popping up again like nbd... maybe the thing I like the most is characters transcending their humanity and looming over the dystopian world like ominous avatars. Correctness’ first ending had me swooning, that kind of mood is unparalleled. I have played TSC, FSR and 25W so far and have vague memories of K7. I’m aware of the “everything’s connected” readings but that’s not my main interest in these games. For FSR-focused requests, I see Lospass as a real island but also a metaphysical place of transformation first and foremost, where strange things happen that don’t make sense elsewhere.

Group: Toriko Kusabi & Remy Fawzil: What’s Toriko up to when she’s not chasing Chris? I think it could be fun to throw her at Remy and see the island from their point of view!

Group: Tokio Morishima & Edo Macalister: since Tokio stayed at the Flower Sun and Rain... I’m interested in peculiar happenings on Lospass that are not centered on Sumio...

Group: Tetsugorou Kusabi/Sumio Kodai: Tetsu picked one hell of a crush, huh! What’s it like in the aftermath of the games, when Sumio is Like That? How does Tetsu grapple with Parade? Is Tetsu an anchor of sorts for Correctness Sumio, who seems (at best) to be existing on a slightly different plane of existence at any given time and could disappear if you blink too hard?

Group: Tetsugorou Kusabi & Shinko Kuroyanagi: I’m joining the “let these two be foulmouthed friends” masses - who’d be more fed up with the other’s nonsense, and in which ways would they be an unstoppable team?

Group: Shinkai Tsuki & Tetsugorou Kusabi: Both of them end their stories in the shadows one way or another, and defending their protégé may have had a hand in their misfortune one way or another. What kind of understanding could they reach? What IS Tsuki up to anyway?

Group: Christina & Catherine: anthro Catherine, as per the Placebo bonus chapter Yami, was unexpectedly charming. What was Chris before reaching Lospass, and did he also have a chat with her on the plane or on the island?

#letter

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readysetwellness-blog · 6 years

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My Wellness Journey: From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows (repeat x10)

In the wake of last week’s post: 5 steps to creating healthier habits, you may be wondering: Who is this girl, what does she know about wellness, and why should I be listening to her? Well do not fear, I am here to introduce myself and answer all of the questions that may be floating around in your mind. My name is Nicky Dudley, and I am a 22 year old senior at the UW-La Crosse studying marketing. I have an associates degree in exercise and sports science, am an ACE certified personal trainer and a NETA certified group fitness instructor. I am also a strong believer that certifications have very little to do with knowledge (even though I just listed off my own). I believe that knowledge, especially when it comes to fitness and wellness knowledge, can only be gained through experience and teaching. This is why when I got into fitness, I decided I needed to experience a lot of different things for myself. This brings us to my “fitness timeline”.

Towards the end of my senior year of high school, I was in a car accident in which I was severely injured. I decided to take a year off after high school and wait to begin college until the fall of 2014. In the following months, I began physical therapy to assist my healing. In doing this, I started to really enjoy working out, especially lifting weights. After I was discharged from physical therapy, I wanted to continue working out, so I obtained a membership at my local CrossFit gym. From there, things took off. I started competing in mini CrossFit games and researching nutrition, becoming more and more curious about exercise and sports science. After 8 months of CrossFit, I decided that I wanted to begin lifting on my own and making my own workouts and nutrition plan. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but after lots of trial and error, I was able to figure out a program that worked for me. It was then that I saw that a friend of mine had competed in an NPC (National Physique Committee) bikini competition, and I made the decision that I wanted to do the same. So in the fall of 2014, I started college full time at a two-year technical school, and found a coach. I ended up working with a man (who shall remain anonymous) and we decided on a show date in June of 2015. Then the real work began.

Show prep is unlike anything, in that your body and mind are pushed to the absolute limit, and then pushed another hundred yards. Although different coaches do prep differently, it almost always includes an EXTREMELY strict meal plan, based either on macronutrients or whole food meals, and a rigorous exercise routine. Not knowing any better and thinking this was normal and what it took to be HEALTHY, I followed along. It became clear about halfway through that the coach (whom I paid $1200 for 6 months of coaching, mind you) was not prioritizing me as an athlete. Nothing against the man himself, but my texts and emails would go unanswered and I was told that I was allowed a cheat meal “When I say you can have a cheat meal”. Eating the same foods over and over again for 6 months without cheating ONCE is extremely unrealistic, and as you can imagine, I enjoyed several cheat meals on my own time. Enjoying these “unauthorized cheat meals” led to me feeling guilty, and eventually I started binging and purging, that is, throwing up my cheat meals after I ate them. I kept this a secret from everyone else, including my coach, thinking I could get away with it without experiencing any lasting effects. Was I wrong…

I managed to get through the rest of my prep, all the while relying on sugar free drinks like diet coke, zero calorie energy drinks and zero calorie foods (yes they exist). It got to a point where I wasn’t even eating food. I would make protein pancakes and smother them with zero calorie pancake syrup and marshmallow topping. MY PHYSIQUE CONTINUED TO IMPROVE, BECAUSE I WAS LOSING FAT BY PUTTING MY BODY INTO A CALORIC DEFICIT, BUT LITTLE DID I KNOW I WAS DECAYING ON THE INSIDE. This was something I failed to understand for the longest time. I thought because I continued to lose weight and gain muscle that I was healthy. But what I didn’t understand was that the food I was eating, although it improved what I saw in the mirror, was destroying me on the inside. I began to understand this after my show, when my coach stopped talking to me the day after and did not give me a reverse diet. A reverse diet is a meal plan in which foods are slowly introduced to minimize the negative effects that came along with eating normal food (basically anything other than chicken and rice) again. I wasn’t aware that a reverse diet even existed, so as you can imagine, the minute I got off stage I ate an entire pizza and pint of ice cream, and was so full that I got sick. For the next month, I ate everything I had been missing out on the past 6 months, and as you can probably guess, I gained about 35 pounds in a month.

After all of this, both my body and my mind were in an extremely messed up state. From there, I was diagnosed with multiple eating disorders and OCD… quite the mess, I know. This is when I started concerning myself with PROPER nutrition and mental health. I finished my associates degree, and then went on to earn my certifications. I decided that I wanted to share my story with other women who were just entering the fitness world, to save them from making the same mistakes I did.

DISCLAIMER:

I do not want any of you to think that all women who compete in bikini shows experience what I went through. There are many NPC coaches who are very good at what they do and understand the importance of balance and mental health throughout the prep process. If anyone reading this is considering competing in any NPC or natural bodybuilding competition, I encourage you to do it, as it is a great way to challenge yourself and learn a lot about health and fitness. But I also urge you to be cautious in selecting your coach, and talk to athletes who have worked with them in the past about their experience.

In the end, 2015 was a landmark year. I am proud of myself for partaking in such a challenge, and although I will not be competing again, I learned more from my show prep experience than I ever did from any certification course. The two most important things I learned were this:

1. Just because a body looks good on the outside, doesn’t make it a “healthy” body. Losing weight is all a numbers game. If you put in less calories than you expend in a single day, your body will be in a caloric deficit, meaning the number on the scale will go down. What that lost number represents (fat, muscle, water) depends on your body composition, activity, and the TYPES of macronutrients you are putting into your body. So someone who eats 3 meals a day of whole foods may be much heavier than someone who eats one meal of junk each day. (I don’t think I have to tell you which of these two people is healthier on the inside).

2. Mental health is THE NUMBER ONE THING. Your mental health should take priority over any fitness or nutrition plan, but most of the time, these three things go hand in hand. Many people use exercise to combat stress and anxiety, and there is insurmountable scientific evidence that suggests that mental health and nutrition are connected at a far deeper level than anyone ever imagined. Having done Whole30 (check it out if you’ve never heard of it), I believe that nutrition and mental health are connected now more than ever!

So now that you know almost everything about me, I just want to state the obvious: When it comes to fitness and wellness, I don’t know everything. Far from it. I do know what I experienced, and what I have learned through research and anecdotal evidence, and all I want to do is share my experience with others. I wouldn’t be where I am today physically and most certainly mentally without going through what I did in 2015. Although I still struggle with keeping my eating balanced, I learned so many self-care techniques throughout the year, and I have been able to share them with many of my friends in college. Knowing that I was able to give them a tool to help them deal with their stress and anxiety is one of the most rewarding things, because although it may not always show on the outside, everyone is fighting a battle. And to be able to help alleviate their suffering, even a little bit, is the greatest feeling in the world.

Although I am always happy to talk to anyone about any feelings they may be having, it is always better to talk to a professional. IF YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM AN EATING DISORDER, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, STRESS OR ANY OTHER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT 1-800-273-8255

Thanks for reading, and as always, happy living!

#mkt400uwl

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hestiasroom · 3 years

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just venting a bit

it’s amazing how decisions, behaviors, and feelings you had when you were young will just continue to fuck you up for probably the rest of your life. anyone who follows me knows i struggle with weight. but it’s funny how young this all started for me. i first became overweight when i hit puberty super young and gained a ton before i got taller... that eventually resolved itself, but i was left with the feeling that i was “too big” even once i had gotten taller and my weight truly was ideal for my height. couple that with diet culture and dealing with my own low self esteem issues/depression, and i then truly gained 40 excess pounds in the space of 2 years, all while remaining totally disassociated from my own body because i just couldn’t cope. then because i still hated the way i looked and also felt out of shape, i lost weight. but the thing about losing weight is that unless you break physics, you will likely gain the majority of the weight back within 5 years. so of course that’s what happened to me. but i just stubbornly continued on, going on major weight loss journey in college that basically left me stuck in disordered eating habits and struggling with laxative abuse (gross i know). the kicker was that even though i was destroying my mental health to be physically healthy, i STILL gained the weight back again. I blamed it on depression (ongoing since youth)/anxiety (something new for me that i really only experienced in a way that actually disrupted my life from 21-24 years old), and went on ANOTHER weight loss journey when I also started paying off debt. You know the drill. I gained the weight back AGAIN. I kind of just hovered there after that weight regain, feeling really unsure of why these failures would keep happening to me. finally i read intuitive eating, and then covid hit, and i’m literally the biggest i’ve been in my entire life. i truly hate it and i don’t feel like there’s enough space in my body for all of me. i hate that i’ve done this to myself, and i hate that th problem started before i could even really grasp the hell i’d be in for. i think about weight loss literally every single day, but when those thoughts are immediately followed by the reality that i’ve done everything “right” and was willing to go to the limits of my sanity for this, it STILL didn’t work. it’s the worst feeling to realize that you may actually be stuck with a problem you hate. it’s like that serenity prayer where for a very long time i truly believed that my weight was a problem that fell under things i couldn’t accept but COULD change (PERMANENTLY change, not temporarily change only to gain back again). now i’m realizing that it might actually be a problem that i can’t change and will be forced to accept. this has honest to god been a literal grieving process for me. i cannot believe i’ve so thoroughly wrecked my own body. i cannot believe that i truly have to live with this, look like this, present myself to the world like this. i cannot accept that i will not look the way that i actually want to look. the absolutely bonkers things about this is that my “true weight” (before the weight gain AFTER puberty) was literally my ideal. it’s like that Adele song i really could have had it all. but no. i was so taken over by that feeling that i just wasn’t right, and then of course i was so deep in my struggles with self esteem and self worth at such a young age that of course i turned to food, the only drug available to me at that time, and now i’m stuck with that bad choice. it’s crazy. i can’t imagine that i will ever get over this, be okay with myself, like myself, not want to kill myself. i look to the future and i don’t even see the point in going on when i can’t even feel at home in my own body. anyway. wow. i don’t expect anyone to care about my story specifically, my only hope would be that all young girls get the emotional support they need to never have to experience the low self esteem low self worth depression that i did when you are supposed to be young and carefree, and i can only hope that no young girl ever absorbs the messages of diet culture the way i did hook line and sinker. i really wonder sometimes if things would have turned out different if i hadn’t developed so early? that was such a strong part of why i felt my body was foreign, out of control, and just different in a fundamentally wrong way. especially when i look at my sisters who went through puberty at a normal age and have exactly zero weight problems (just like my mom... i’m by far the black sheep of the family in this respect, lucky fucking me!). this post is going nowhere let me stop but yeah let’s just say i have a lot of feelings about my fat and my attempt to get rid of my fat and the fact that it keeps coming back and the fact that it only adds kindling to the fire of my long-standing self hate problems

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woodworkingpastor · 4 years

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Help Wanted -- Matthew 9:35-38 -- Sunday, November 8, 2020

Scott Foster is an unassuming accountant who lives in Oak Park, IL. In his college days, he was a goalie for Western Michigan University, a hobby he continues today as the goalie in a Chicago-area rec league.

On an otherwise ordinary evening in March 2018, his wildest dream came true. NHL teams always have an “Emergency Backup Goalie” under contract. It’s an unpaid gig; well over 99.9% of the time the “EBUG” (as they’re called) watches the game from the press box, eating nachos.

But on this night, things were different. The Chicago Blackhawks regular goalie was injured, and their backup goalie got hurt right before the game started. Their third goalie was doing well, but started to cramp up in the third period.

That’s when the call went to the press box for Scott Foster to head to the locker room and put his gear on. He entered the game in the third period to protect a 6-2 lead—which he did, blocking all seven of the shots on goal he faced. And to make an already feel-good story even more feel-good, the savvy Blackhawk fans recognized the situation and even began chanting their Emergency Backup Goalie’s name: FOS-TER! FOS-TER!

All of creation

Over the next three Sundays we will consider what the word harvest teaches us about life in the Kingdom of God. The sermons between today and Thanksgiving each come from a text where the word harvest appears. What will we learn about Jesus from these passages? How does looking at Scripture in this way expand our understanding of the faith we share and cause us to grow closer to Jesus?

This is one of those Biblical passages that somewhat lends itself to being read over too quickly, without our giving it proper attention. If we pause and look more closely, we learn that Jesus’ love for humanity comes with a sense of purpose (v. 35). Jesus knows things because he was with people, going to where the people are. We can be a bit too quick to say things like, “Well, of course Jesus knew things about people—he was God, he knew everything.” We play that card too quickly; Jesus does not assume that people will come to him, even though they sometimes do. Jesus knew the sufferings of the people because he was with the people:

…teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom…

We might look at the people to whom Jesus ministered and say, “But these are not our people. They’re not part of our group.” Between sermons and our recent webinars on media and bias, I’ve said a lot recently about how we treat people who we think are “the other.” It’s so easy to look at those who are “other” as some kind of adversary, as if all of life is a zero sum game where someone else gaining something inevitably means that I must lose something.

But with Jesus, we are all other, and we are all the object of his work. You and I are God’s possession, and God’s plain has always been to reclaim that which is his. Jesus’ view of ministry is shaped by what God told the Hebrew people all the way back in Exodus 19:5, just three weeks after bringing the people from Egypt:

the whole earth is mine; you will be for me a kingdom of priests.

There is no square inch of creation that does not belong to Jesus,

for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created (Colossians 1:16).

Jesus was not going to some foreign place to meet some people one who “other.” He was going to that which was his to reclaim those who belong to him. SPOILER ALERT: He would later—in the Great Commission—tell us to do the same.

Going to where the people are took Jesus to where the problems are. Towns and villages are filled with both people and problems, and Jesus ministered to both.

We need not create a false dichotomy where our view of the soul is separate from our view of the body, the spiritual separated from the physical. Jesus was concerned about both. Jesus went about

…curing every disease and every sickness.

“Every sickness” refers to the variety of ailments that befall human beings. It doesn’t really matter if someone was sick from a virus or if they were injured when their ox stepped on their foot. Jesus went about curing all sorts of diseases and ailments and injuries and sicknesses, simply because these things keep people from the fullness of life. Jesus was a good shepherd and he spent time with his flock.

A compassionate shepherd

Calling Jesus a “good shepherd” loses something for modern hearers. It is a powerful Old Testament image often used in a tragic sense: the flock has been scattered; the people are lost, and there is no one to regather them. It was an image people understood better by living closer to farm life; they might not have raised sheep themselves, but they understood how shepherding worked.

Many of us find it a powerful image because of the influence Psalm 23 has had on our lives

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…

What does the shepherding image convey? The important aspect of a shepherd is that they were responsible for the whole flock. We know from the Parable of the Lost Sheep that the shepherd will leave the 99 to go in search of the one. Shepherds have responsibility for tending to the life and health, the protection and well-being, of the entire flock.

Having a vision of care for the whole flock inevitably changes your attitude, because the shepherd knew of no “other” sheep; there was only “this” flock. They are all part of the group. The sufferings of one impacts all. And so rather than railing against one that is sick, or wounded, or prone to wander off, the shepherd is filled with compassion for his sheep, which is why Jesus was moved by the crowd’s harassed and helpless state. The word for compassion in the Greek is a strong one; it refers to our bowels, which was the seat of emotion in that culture. Today we might say that Jesus’ heart was touched.

Help wanted

Being moved by the suffering of the sheep causes Jesus to turn to his disciples with a request, one that we might not see coming:

ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.

Jesus sees a situation that touches him in the deepest place of his humanity. We have this window into Jesus that is deeply personal and emotional and human. But where we might expect (or hope) that Jesus would reply out of his divinity and just solve all the issues, he doesn’t. He tells the disciples to put out a “Help wanted” sign. Talk to God about this. Workers are needed. Even an Emergency Backup Goalie can make a difference.

Jesus asks the disciples to pray for you and I.

There is both urgency and uncertainty in this request. It is urgent because Jesus encounters real people with real needs and real challenges; being “harassed and helpless” is common to our humanity. What becomes of harassed people who never find peace and calm? What becomes of the wounded and sick and injured who never find healing, safety, and security? What happens to people in need of a shepherd but don’t have one?

But the request is uncertain. Will the disciples pray? Will we pray?

We often pray to know God’s will for our lives. But I suspect we often overthink that one. Jesus’ prayer request is for the Lord of the harvest to send laborers. Move people from one place to another place where there is work to do. That doesn’t mean some place far away. Jesus himself encountered people in his normal travels; as we go on our way and about our day, we will find the same sorts of people that Jesus found.

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wellesleyunderground · 7 years

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Wellesley in Politics: Interview with Michele Tidd Pfannenstiel ‘96 Founder and CEO of Dirigo Food Safety (@DrPfannenstiel)

Since 2012, Dr. Pfannenstiel is the founder and CEO of Dirigo Food Safety, LLC. She received her DVM in 2006 from the University of Georgia College of Veterinary Medicine followed by three years on active duty as a captain in the United States Army. She currently focuses her time on local issues through running for her local school board and preparing a campaign for Senator in her home state of Maine in 2020.

What led you to Wellesley initially?

I am from a reasonably long line of women’s college grads. My grandmother went to Smith, my mom went to a small Catholic women’s college in NH. Most of her friends went to women’s colleges. I pursued the idea of a women’s college starting in sophomore year. I spent a summer at Mt. Holyoke at their “SummerMath” program, getting over my math thing (which I never understood till I read the report from the Wellesley Center for Women on the subject). I was all for Smith as a sophomore. Then I visited the campus and I did not like it nearly as much as I wanted. So, when I was doing the college swing through MA/ME junior year we went to Wellesley. I will never forget the feeling that overcame me as we turned right off 135 and onto campus. I turned to my dad and said “I am going to school here”. It was a feeling of rightness, of belonging like I had never had. Our school spoke to my soul.

I did my college tour and never wanted to leave (prescient, no?). As soon as the application came out, I borrowed a typewriter and spent the entirety of Aug 1991 perfecting my application and my essay. I walked into my first day of senior year, handed my application to my guidance counselor, to my teachers who would be my letters of reference and said, “I am applying early decision” and I did. I got my application in as soon as I could. And then I waited and waited. On Dec 15, 1991 I was at a meeting at school and I was despondent because I was going to have to go home and fill out the Georgetown and Bowdoin apps because I hadn’t heard. And then I got home and checked the mail. I screamed so loud the neighbors came to check on me.

How did your Wellesley education help prepare you for your time in the military and now?

Fourteen percent of the military is female. I came out of a graduate program (veterinary medicine) that was predominately female (I think I had 6 men in my class of 86). I was in MEDCOM, which is the medical command of the US Army and I was a veterinarian surrounded by MDs, nurses, physical therapists and dentists. Was I intimidated by rank? Hell no. I had studied with people who had advised world leaders. Once, my COL (an O-6, I was an O-3) got a fact wrong about a hero of mine. I corrected him. In public. With zero remorse. Because if someone is going to talk about historical figure (in this case Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain) they better talk about him accurately. Well, an O-3 does NOT correct an O-6 EVER but I had Wellesley at my back. I had Wellesley at my back every time a commander treated me badly and every time I had a conversation with someone with a totally different view point from me. Now? I run my own business. I employ two Wellesley women (Tenille Stevens Reichert ’97 and Margaret Hathaway ’98). Wellesley helps me every day in mundane and beautiful ways. Firstly, all the technical information I gained in my college (economics and geology) I use in multiple ways in the technical parts of my job helping producers and processors makes safe food. Wellesley prepared me to outwork my competition. To show up more prepared than anyone they’ve ever seen.

You recently announced your candidacy for the Senate in 2020 against Susan Collins. Congratulations! What prompted you to run?

I am a veteran, a mother, and a business owner. I called up her office to ask about some egregious violation of ethics of the current administration. The staff member who answered the phone pretended to pay attention to me and then when pressed, admitted that he had not written down a word I had said or recorded anything about my complaint and that the “system was down” and then laughed at me when I asked about what the follow up was. Laughed at me?? Me, who raised my hand and put on a uniform and swore to protect and defend my country till I die? (I am an officer, I can be called up anytime). I got LAUGHED AT by some twenty something intern who thinks my concerns about the threats to the Constitution this administration poses aren’t even worth recording? That was when I decided to run. I was on 495 driving through MA and I will remember it till I die.

What is your campaign platform?

We need resilient local economies. We should support entrepreneurship. We should support the unleashing of human potential. I would rather see 100 business that employ 5 people, than 1 business that employs 500. Our rural/ex-urban economies don’t need ONE big employer. They need thousands of small employers adding value to the economy.

How did your education in veterinary medicine and food safety turn into political activism?

There is nothing like food safety to unite the radical right and the radical left. As a veterinarian who runs a small business, I can help those two factions meet in the middle. Consumers want safe food, businesses don’t want to be run out of business because of regulation. I know the middle ground and can work with people to derive sensible solutions. An example? In Maine, the voters passed a ballot amendment on the minimum wage. There has been much gnashing of teeth around tipped wages. In speaking with my rep, I came up with the novel solution of letting the waitstaff choose how they are paid - either a lower minimum plus tips or a minimum wage. As a business owner, I employ 5 people who have 5 different ways of getting paid. I pay $56 a month for someone else to figure it out for me and you cannot tell me that restaurants can’t do the same thing. We have solvable problems, we just need people with clear thinking to solve them.

With working in food safety, are there concerns you’re facing with the change-over of the EPA and FDA under the new administration?

My biggest fear is the confusion. Big companies can adjust to confusion coming out of Washington but small companies can’t. Is FSMA (the Food Safety Modernization Act) going to be enforced? What does it mean if it is law, but there is no money for enforcement? What does it mean that the USDA is looking at 21% budget cut? Sure, some people say that said cut won’t come at the expense of food safety, but, water safety is a HUGE part of food safety. The enforcement of the food safety mechanism requires a professional bureaucracy. Steve Bannon has declared war on the professional bureaucracy so how are small business supposed to figure out what to do? How are consumers supposed to react?

Who are your role models?

My three biggest role models are Diana Chapman Walsh, Admiral Grace Hopper, and Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain.

What do you do for fun?

I relax by working with my family on our 4-acre forest farm in the woods of Maine, reading, and going on dates with my husband.

Michele’s campaign Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelePfannenstiel/ and her company website is http://www.dirigofoodsafety.com/

#Wellesley in politics series #wellesley underground #wellesley #Class of 1996 #Senate 2020 #Food Safety #Dirigo Food Safety

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sassyclassyandalilsmartass-blog1 · 8 years

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Farewell my President

The first time I voted I didn’t do my research because I allowed someone to encourage me to believe that the Democratic party had no business running office. I was young and naive and easily persuaded. Trust me I learned my lesson, can’t and won’t let anyone think for me.

2007 came around and it was time to find our next president of the beautiful U.S.A and I was excited and pumped. I literally felt the adrenaline pumping through my veins, because I was going to do my own research, I was going to make my own mind about who I thought was fit to run our country and I was going to help. So my research began and I stumbled upon this Senator from Chicago. He was smart, eloquent, funny, kind that was looking for change and wanted to bring hope. Bonus points he looked like me. By me I mean minority. Finally a step in the right direction, a person who back in his time understood what it was like to feel confused on where you stood in the world. He wasn’t some rich privileged silver spoon man. Seriously I finally found my president. Every single Sunday from 9am to 3pm I went to door to door making sure my community was looking for hope as well. I liked it so much I signed up to campaign once again rain or shine.

There are a ton of you out there that were always so skeptical of President Obama from the beginning and have forgotten or didn’t pay attention to everything that Mr. President accomplished. Just in case you forgot:

1. Passed Health Care Reform: After five presidents over a century failed to create universal health insurance, signed the Affordable Care Act (2010). It will cover 32 million uninsured Americans beginning in 2014 and mandates a suite of experimental measures to cut health care cost growth, the number one cause of America’s long-term fiscal problems(FYI I have benefited from this, before I couldn’t afford any health care and hadn’t gone to a doctor for over tens before this Act was passed).

2. Passed the Stimulus: Signed $787 billion American Recovery and Reinvestment Act in 2009 to spur economic growth amid greatest recession since the Great Depression. Weeks after stimulus went into effect, unemployment claims began to subside. Twelve months later, the private sector began producing more jobs than it was losing, and it has continued to do so for twenty-three straight months, creating a total of nearly 3.7 million new private-sector jobs.

3. Passed Wall Street Reform: Signed the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act (2010) to re-regulate the financial sector after its practices caused the Great Recession. The new law tightens capital requirements on large banks and other financial institutions, requires derivatives to be sold on clearinghouses and exchanges, mandates that large banks provide “living wills” to avoid chaotic bankruptcies, limits their ability to trade with customers’ money for their own profit, and creates the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (now headed by Richard Cordray) to crack down on abusive lending products and companies.

4. Ended the War in Iraq: Ordered all U.S. military forces out of the country. Last troops left on December 18, 2011.

5. Began Drawdown of War in Afghanistan: From a peak of 101,000 troops in June 2011, U.S. forces are now down to 91,000, with 23,000 slated to leave by the end of summer 2012. According to Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta, the combat mission there will be over by next year.

6. Eliminated Osama bin laden: In 2011, ordered special forces raid of secret compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, in which the terrorist leader was killed and a trove of al-Qaeda documents was discovered.

7. Turned Around U.S. Auto Industry: In 2009, injected $62 billion in federal money (on top of $13.4 billion in loans from the Bush administration) into ailing GM and Chrysler in return for equity stakes and agreements for massive restructuring. Since bottoming out in 2009, the auto industry has added more than 100,000 jobs. In 2011, the Big Three automakers all gained market share for the first time in two decades. The government expects to lose $16 billion of its investment, less if the price of the GM stock it still owns increases.

8. Recapitalized Banks: In the midst of financial crisis, approved controversial Treasury Department plan to lure private capital into the country’s largest banks via “stress tests” of their balance sheets and a public-private fund to buy their “toxic” assets. Got banks back on their feet at essentially zero cost to the government.

9. Repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”: Ended 1990s-era restriction and formalized new policy allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly in the military for the first time.

10. Toppled Moammar Gaddafi: In March 2011, joined a coalition of European and Arab governments in military action, including air power and naval blockade, against Gaddafi regime to defend Libyan civilians and support rebel troops. Gaddafi’s forty-two-year rule ended when the dictator was overthrown and killed by rebels on October 20, 2011. No American lives were lost.

11. Told Mubarak to Go: On February 1, 2011, publicly called on Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak to accept reform or step down, thus weakening the dictator’s position and putting America on the right side of the Arab Spring. Mubarak ended thirty-year rule when overthrown on February 11.

12. Reversed Bush Torture Policies: Two days after taking office, nullified Bush-era rulings that had allowed detainees in U.S. custody to undergo certain “enhanced” interrogation techniques considered inhumane under the Geneva Conventions. Also released the secret Bush legal rulings supporting the use of these techniques.

13. Improved America’s Image Abroad: With new policies, diplomacy, and rhetoric, reversed a sharp decline in world opinion toward the U.S. (and the corresponding loss of “soft power”) during the Bush years. From 2008 to 2011, favorable opinion toward the United States rose in ten of fifteen countries surveyed by the Pew Global Attitudes Project, with an average increase of 26 percent.

14. Kicked Banks Out of Federal Student Loan Program, Expanded Pell Grant Spending: As part of the 2010 health care reform bill, signed measure ending the wasteful decades-old practice of subsidizing banks to provide college loans. Starting July 2010 all students began getting their federal student loans directly from the federal government. Treasury will save $67 billion over ten years, $36 billion of which will go to expanding Pell Grants to lower-income students.

15. Created Race to the Top: With funds from stimulus, started $4.35 billion program of competitive grants to encourage and reward states for education reform.

16. Boosted Fuel Efficiency Standards: Released new fuel efficiency standards in 2011 that will nearly double the fuel economy for cars and trucks by 2025.

17. Coordinated International Response to Financial Crisis: To keep world economy out of recession in 2009 and 2010, helped secure from G-20 nations more than $500 billion for the IMF to provide lines of credit and other support to emerging market countries, which kept them liquid and avoided crises with their currencies.

18. Passed Mini Stimuli: To help families hurt by the recession and spur the economy as stimulus spending declined, signed series of measures (July 22, 2010; December 17, 2010; December 23, 2011) to extend unemployment insurance and cut payroll taxes.

19. Began Asia “Pivot”: In 2011, reoriented American military and diplomatic priorities and focus from the Middle East and Europe to the Asian-Pacific region. Executed multipronged strategy of positively engaging China while reasserting U.S. leadership in the region by increasing American military presence and crafting new commercial, diplomatic, and military alliances with neighboring countries made uncomfortable by recent Chinese behavior.

20. Increased Support for Veterans: With so many soldiers coming home from Iraq and Iran with serious physical and mental health problems, yet facing long waits for services, increased 2010 Department of Veterans Affairs budget by 16 percent and 2011 budget by 10 percent. Also signed new GI bill offering $78 billion in tuition assistance over a decade, and provided multiple tax credits to encourage businesses to hire veterans.

21. Tightened Sanctions on Iran: In effort to deter Iran’s nuclear program, signed Comprehensive Iran Sanctions, Accountability, and Divestment Act (2010) to punish firms and individuals who aid Iran’s petroleum sector. In late 2011 and early 2012, coordinated with other major Western powers to impose sanctions aimed at Iran’s banks and with Japan, South Korea, and China to shift their oil purchases away from Iran.

22. Created Conditions to Begin Closing Dirtiest Power Plants: New EPA restrictions on mercury and toxic pollution, issued in December 2011, likely to lead to the closing of between sixty-eight and 231 of the nation’s oldest and dirtiest coal-fired power plants. Estimated cost to utilities: at least $11 billion by 2016. Estimated health benefits: $59 billion to $140 billion. Will also significantly reduce carbon emissions and, with other regulations, comprises what’s been called Obama’s “stealth climate policy.”

23. Passed Credit Card Reforms: Signed the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility, and Disclosure Act (2009), which prohibits credit card companies from raising rates without advance notification, mandates a grace period on interest rate increases, and strictly limits overdraft and other fees.

24. Eliminated Catch-22 in Pay Equality Laws: Signed Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act in 2009, giving women who are paid less than men for the same work the right to sue their employers after they find out about the discrimination, even if that discrimination happened years ago. Under previous law, as interpreted by the Supreme Court in Ledbetter v. Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co., the statute of limitations on such suits ran out 180 days after the alleged discrimination occurred, even if the victims never knew about it.

25. Protected Two Liberal Seats on the U.S. Supreme Court: Nominated and obtained confirmation for Sonia Sotomayor, the first Hispanic and third woman to serve, in 2009; and Elena Kagan, the fourth woman to serve, in 2010. They replaced David Souter and John Paul Stevens, respectively(this one made me so happy to see more diversity on these seats, almost like the feeling that can be me).

26. Improved Food Safety System: In 2011, signed FDA Food Safety Modernization Act, which boosts the Food and Drug Administration’s budget by $1.4 billion and expands its regulatory responsibilities to include increasing number of food inspections, issuing direct food recalls, and reviewing the current food safety practices of countries importing products into America.

27. Achieved New START Treaty: Signed with Russia (2010) and won ratification in Congress (2011) of treaty that limits each country to 1,550 strategic warheads (down from 2,200) and 700 launchers (down from more than 1,400), and reestablished and strengthened a monitoring and transparency program that had lapsed in 2009, through which each country can monitor the other.

28. Expanded National Service: Signed Serve America Act in 2009, which authorized a tripling of the size of AmeriCorps. Program grew 13 percent to 85,000 members across the country by 2012, when new House GOP majority refused to appropriate more funds for further expansion.

29. Expanded Wilderness and Watershed Protection: Signed Omnibus Public Lands Management Act (2009), which designated more than 2 million acres as wilderness, created thousands of miles of recreational and historic trails, and protected more than 1,000 miles of rivers.

30. Gave the FDA Power to Regulate Tobacco: Signed the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act (2009). Nine years in the making and long resisted by the tobacco industry, the law mandates that tobacco manufacturers disclose all ingredients, obtain FDA approval for new tobacco products, and expand the size and prominence of cigarette warning labels, and bans the sale of misleadingly labeled “light” cigarette brands and tobacco sponsorship of entertainment events.

31. Pushed Federal Agencies to Be Green Leaders: Issued executive order in 2009 requiring all federal agencies to make plans to soften their environmental impacts by 2020. Goals include 30 percent reduction in fleet gasoline use, 26 percent boost in water efficiency, and sustainability requirements for 95 percent of all federal contracts. Because federal government is the country’s single biggest purchaser of goods and services, likely to have ripple effects throughout the economy for years to come.

32. Passed Fair Sentencing Act: Signed 2010 legislation that reduces sentencing disparity between crack versus powder cocaine possessionfrom100 to1 to 18 to1.

33. Trimmed and Reoriented Missile Defense: Cut the Reagan-era “Star Wars” missile defense budget, saving $1.4 billion in 2010, and canceled plans to station antiballistic missile systems in Poland and the Czech Republic in favor of sea-based defense plan focused on Iran and North Korea.

34. Began Post-Post-9/11 Military Builddown: After winning agreement from congressional Republicans and Democrats in summer 2011 budget deal to reduce projected defense spending by $450 billion, proposed new DoD budget this year with cuts of that size and a new national defense strategy that would shrink ground forces from 570,000 to 490,000 over the next ten years while increasing programs in intelligence gathering and cyberwarfare.

35. Let Space Shuttle Die and Killed Planned Moon Mission: Allowed the expensive ($1 billion per launch), badly designed, dangerous shuttle program to make its final launch on July 8, 2011. Cut off funding for even more bloated and problem-plagued Bush-era Constellation program to build moon base in favor of support for private-sector low-earth orbit ventures, research on new rocket technologies for long-distance manned flight missions, and unmanned space exploration, including the largest interplanetary rover ever launched, which will investigate Mars’s potential to support life.

36. Invested Heavily in Renewable Technology: As part of the 2009 stimulus, invested $90 billion, more than any previous administration, in research on smart grids, energy efficiency, electric cars, renewable electricity generation, cleaner coal, and biofuels.

37. Crafting Next-Generation School Tests: Devoted $330 million in stimulus money to pay two consortia of states and universities to create competing versions of new K-12 student performance tests based on latest psychometric research. New tests could transform the learning environment in vast majority of public school classrooms beginning in 2014.

38. Cracked Down on Bad For-Profit Colleges: In effort to fight predatory practices of some for-profit colleges, Department of Education issued “gainful employment” regulations in 2011 cutting off commercially focused schools from federal student aid funding if more than 35 percent of former students aren’t paying off their loans and/or if the average former student spends more than 12 percent of his or her total earnings servicing student loans.

39. Improved School Nutrition: In coordination with Michelle Obama, signed Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act in 2010 mandating $4.5 billion spending boost and higher nutritional and health standards for school lunches. New rules based on the law, released in January, double the amount of fruits and vegetables and require only whole grains in food served to students.

40. Expanded Hate Crimes Protections: Signed Hate Crimes Prevention Act (2009), which expands existing hate crime protections to include crimes based on a victim’s sexual orientation, gender, or disability, in addition to race, color, religion, or national origin.

41. Avoided Scandal: As of November 2011, served longer than any president in decades without a scandal, as measured by the appearance of the word “scandal” (or lack thereof) on the front page of the Washington Post.

42. Brokered Agreement for Speedy Compensation to Victims of Gulf Oil Spill: Though lacking statutory power to compel British Petroleum to act, used moral authority of his office to convince oil company to agree in 2010 to a $20 billion fund to compensate victims of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico; $6.5 billion already paid out without lawsuits. By comparison, it took nearly two decades for plaintiffs in the Exxon Valdez Alaska oil spill case to receive $1.3 billion.

43. Created Recovery.gov: Web site run by independent board of inspectors general looking for fraud and abuse in stimulus spending, provides public with detailed information on every contract funded by $787 billion American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. Thanks partly to this transparency, board has uncovered very little fraud, and Web site has become national model: “The stimulus has done more to promote transparency at almost all levels of government than any piece of legislation in recent memory,” reports Governing magazine.

44. Pushed Broadband Coverage: Proposed and obtained in 2011 Federal Communications Commission approval for a shift of $8 billion in subsidies away from landlines and toward broadband Internet for lower-income rural families.

45. Expanded Health Coverage for Children: Signed 2009 Children’s Health Insurance Authorization Act, which allows the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) to cover health care for 4 million more children, paid for by a tax increase on tobacco products.

46. Recognized the Dangers of Carbon Dioxide: In 2009, EPA declared carbon dioxide a pollutant, allowing the agency to regulate its production.

47. Expanded Stem Cell Research: In 2009, eliminated the Bush-era restrictions on embryonic stem cell research, which shows promise in treating spinal injuries, among many other areas.

48. Provided Payment to Wronged Minority Farmers: In 2009, signed Claims Resolution Act, which provided $4.6 billion in funding for a legal settlement with black and Native American farmers who the government cheated out of loans and natural resource royalties in years past.

49. Helped South Sudan Declare Independence: Helped South Sudan Declare Independence: Appointed two envoys to Sudan and personally attended a special UN meeting on the area. Through U.S. ambassador to the United Nations Ambassador Susan Rice, helped negotiate a peaceful split in 2011.

50. Killed the F-22: In 2009, ended further purchases of Lockheed Martin single-seat, twin-engine, fighter aircraft, which cost $358 million apiece. Though the military had 187 built, the plane has never flown a single combat mission. Eliminating it saved $4 billion… Just to name a few..

Come present day, time has come and my president, correction I mean our president after eight glorious years we must say goodbye. Watching his farewell speech last week was super hard, yes I cried like a baby, just like I cried when he was first elected and he addressed us our nation for the first time as our president. I have learned a lot from Mr. President, I learned kindness, I learned to be hopeful and patient. I also learned from our First Lady that I should never let anyone get in my way from becoming something. I can actually go for days on how great Mrs. Obama is, but I don’t think I have all night to right this.

I am going to miss the First Family, the kindness, love, compassion, pose, grace and spirit they shared with our nation. One thing I will take from the Obamas is never losing HOPE, to always voice my concerns and make something happen.

Farewell my president and Thank You for a wonderful eight years and being one of the greatest presidents in history.

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realtalk-tj · 6 years

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why is everyone at tj so competitive? like why can't they mind their own fricking business and stop making others feel bad about taking "Omg only 2 APs as a sophomore??" like even in summer chem people r so competitive for like top 5 and stuff why cant they just do something because they like it???

Response from Flitwick:

seems like a vent but ok

Why is everyone at TJ so competitive? Why do people [insert toxic behavior here]?

TJ is certainly a competitive place - a lot of people come in with the mentality of striving for the highest echelons of achievement, and I suppose that’s a not a bad thing. As for “why,” I think it’s mostly just the culture of parents and students putting pressure on students to “do great things” so they can look good. (I guess, in your case, that includes summer chem top 5. :/) This still isn’t really a bad thing - however, as you noted, putting others down in order to get ahead is really just a toxic thing to do and it’s really not ok. Unfortunately, it’s really really common. Bragging about how many AP classes you take or how little sleep you get is the norm nowadays.

Apparently, the end goal of all of this is to look better to good colleges and get admitted to them (maybe even an iVy lEaGuE :O). Personally, I’ve been disillusioned by the whole “ivy-league-top-college” thing, but a lot of people are shooting for it, and allegedly the way to make yourself feel ever slightly closer to it is to belittle the person next to you for being “farther,” where the metrics are the things I’ve mentioned before - sleep deprivation, hard classes, etc. I find it sad that this is what we value now, especially for newly minted freshmen who’ve already adopted the toxicity that TJ has.

(Validation intermission - 2 APs as a sophomore is pretty good. Of course, at base school, people can take APs with more freedom because TJ’s AP courses are really rough in comparison. You will have plenty of room to take more in the next two years yourself and don’t be discouraged by people who look down upon the potential for expansion that you have.)

Why don’t people do things because they like them?

There’s a surprisingly fine line between being passionate about something and doing something because they feel forced to do. This goes back to the “ivy-league-top-college” thing once again, unfortunately - the more extracurriculars and high achievements you get out of school, the more ‘well-rounded’ you are and the better you look to colleges. Often people tend to do clubs that have officer positions that are easy to get or claw their way to the top of one because an officer position shows leadership, which looks good on college apps.

However, I find this is not the case for some. I remember talking to my recently-graduated senior friend who ran two pretty large academic clubs - and he does what he does because he wants to give back to the community/ies of people that he was welcomed into as an underclassman, and not for some ulterior motive. I think people who are really passionate about things and like them will give back to the community - and even though it may be work, it’s enjoyable, and eventually, they become really good at what they do.

This response was way longer than I initially intended it to be - but yeah tl;dr people are motivated by getting into good colleges and stuff and so they do these things to feel like they’ll have a better chance at getting into one. My advice: you do you, they can do whatever they want. Pursue the things you like, and make room for yourself - after all, you’re the one you always have to live with after high school and college, and you gotta take care of yourself.

Response From Fleur:

People at TJ have some misguided beliefs. Like...

False Belief #1: I will not get into college with my grades. You sure will. In reality, you will get into a college even with some Cs and Ds. There are thousands of colleges out there. Everyone except maybe like 3 or so people each year at TJ get into and go to a college right out of high school. And then maybe those 3 or so people went into the military or joined the Peace Corps or took a gap year before applying. And trust me when I say my class did not all have mostly As by a long shot.

False Belief #2: I will only succeed in life if I get into an ivy league. Nope. Nope. Nope. This could not be further from the truth. There are some people who are unemployed after graduating from an ivy league because finding jobs is not always the easiest thing in the world. There are also people who are swimming in tens of thousands of dollars of college debt. Some people decline ivy league admission to avoid that because they know they’re better off without it. Also, school rewards people who conform and not people who take risks. The most successful people would fall into the latter category, many of them did not do well in school at all. And again, there are thousands of colleges out there. There’s no reason why you need to go to an ivy league. It’s a great opportunity if it comes your way and you can afford it, and that’s why so many people apply. But if it doesn’t, that’s perfectly fine it’s not necessary.

False Belief #3: I have to get into ___ college to be happy. Again, completely false. There are many different paths in life. You could take a few years off from school, go to NOVA, transfer, graduate from a four year college, get into graduate school, go get your PhD...etc and be perfectly content with your life. You could also go to college right out of high school and end up in the same place doing the same thing eventually. What matters more than anything is that you get that degree at all that you’re hoping for. Simply going to a specific college is not what’s going to make you happy. There are tons of people dealing with depression, sexual violence, childhood trauma and all sorts of other rough things at highly selective colleges just like everywhere else. The name of the college you go to is not going to make your personal or interpersonal issues go away. It’s the most important things in life that will lift you up and help you build resilience through the rough times ;)

False Belief #4: I’m not good enough because of my grades, GPA, extracurriculars...etc. Everyone who goes to TJ is not stupid. You can’t be stupid and get into TJ. Having a good head on your shoulders and a decent amount of potential is a prerequisite to admission.

False Belief #5: If I don’t get into _____ college, I’m a failure. Woah there. Your life is just beginning. Ya’ll just become adults when you leave high school. You’re not expected to be experts in a field like some middle-aged professional at age 16.

False Belief #6: If I'm going to succeed, somebody else must fail. When you lift other people up, you all do better. Not competing with others has been shown to help in the long run. It enriches your life, and you gain connections down the road too. And realistically, if you help out 1 classmate, or even 5, their higher test scores from your help are probably not going to change the curve enough for refusing to help them to do you any good. The classes I do best in college in are when I have a study buddy. We make sure that the other one does well. Screw the curve, if my study buddy is struggling with something, I’ll take time away from my life to review that part with them for an hour, knowing that they’ll probably repeat the favor with me later on. Again, screw the curve, I’ll go into it with the attitude that I’m going to make sure we do so well the curve won’t matter. And that helps a lot. It builds character and rock-solid friendship to help other people out and endure a weed out class with them.

False Belief #7: I'm a disappointment to my family because my GPA isn't up to their standards. Children cannot physically be disappointments or failures. Ya'll haven't lived long enough to have the opportunity. If this is the opinion your family holds, then it's a wrong one. You have too much worth for this to be true. You haven’t even started on a career path yet! In addition, failure is necessary on the path to success. You cannot succeed unless you fail. That’s a secret to doing well when you’re creating things. I’m someone who produces novels and songs. Sometimes I’ll spend months on a project only for people to hate it, agents to reject it, and leading me to feel like I suck at what I’m doing and have zero talent. Only about 1 in every 10 songs I write seem real good in pursuing. The rest collect space on a shelf. But you can’t quit when things don’t work out. You have to keep going. And going. And doing. And creating. And going. And creating. Until something that you do works. That’s what you do, just keep producing until something works out. So keep it up! :)

False Belief #8: My future depends on me taking more AP classes and getting better grades. It does not. There are many paths in life to get to the same place and none of them depend on the amount of AP classes you take, getting all As at TJ, or going to a specific college. Some high schools don’t even offer AP classes or tests. Because we’ve already established that you have intellect and potential and worth, you’re already set up to have the ability to go places in life.

False Belief #9: My friends won't like me if I don't get good grades. People are self-centered and most likely they will be too busy focusing on themselves to bother you about your grades. You’d be surprised at how little people care to judge each other.

False Belief #10: Other students are out to get me in this cutthroat environment. Even if you feel there is competition, you can still find other people to collaborate with! Collaboration is what you’re after, after all :) And even when it seems like there are people who are not on your side, remember that there are a lot of ridiculously nice people in this world who have love to give and will support you if you give them the opportunity to. For example, complete strangers do a lot for each other and a lot of the work I do capitalizes off how strangers can best help each other. I volunteer on two suicide hotlines. Volunteer means you don’t get paid. You also choose your hours. When you want to remember that there are people too good for this world, remember that every single day there are people who sign up to take a hotline shift from 2am-4am in the morning to talk to people who are suffering out of the goodness of their heart.

As for why people don’t do things because they like them, I honestly think it’s because they just don’t know how. I also think that many TJ students are told what to do in terms of “you should do this because it looks good to other people” and I’ve found that some families of TJ students emphasize looking good to other people or making a certain amount of money or having a certain amount of prestige surrounding them, and it’s understandable that parents want their kids to be successful in life and such, especially if they worked really hard to give their kids opportunities they didn’t have growing up. So I think that sometimes people do things because they think they should and don’t think enough about what makes them excited about being alive.

#personal life

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yasmind2822562-blog · 7 years

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5 Popular Limousine Models To Delight in A San Francisco Trip.

Community Education has to do with the trendiest target in the news today, also directly vanquishing the transformations occurring in Egypt as well as Libya. Even if the parents are utilizing the toilet and also they illustrate the actions, the autistic youngster will certainly decline or not receive the link in between the right or incorrect from toilet instruction. The National Organization from Institution Psychologists points out parents who uncover their youngster has been bullying need to have energetic actions to curb the habits. As a functional concern, advocates keep in mind, most USA systems only give bad families the exact same selection more wealthy families actually possess, by offering all of them along with the methods to leave a falling short college and also go to one where the child can get a learning. So you'll observe children that have actually gotten caught cigarette smoking at university point out, Absolutely no, I had not been smoking cigarettes"-- despite the fact that the smoke is actually still in the air. They gain one thing extra - possibly certainly not as quantifiable as a degree, but it ends up zero less important - engagement in a neighborhood from graduates the college. After practically two decades from waiting, the Educational institution from Institution of Rule is removaling in to an elegant brand new $80 million property that its own dean hopes will definitely be actually an increase in the competitors to land the best and brightest. The college possesses plannings to include yet another 810 dorm beds very soon, which would push its on-campus real estate cost to almost 90 per-cent. He must remember that this is actually the moms and dads that keep the children in college and his work secure. On click this link seventh day, the Japanese provide their kids a final title as well as a 1st label, yet no middle name, which is actually a popular customized in American community. The learning department has actually quit sending earnings to educators in some Taliban-controlled areas due to issue the funds would certainly fall under inappropriate hands, Mehrdad said. Luckman's memory card was given out with several history shades and this yellow assortment is actually the best hard. The factor she was asked to accomplish therefore by this instructor is that she kept performing her math problem incorrect. The 2nd assistance will be actually explaining the matter with the school management. If you don't have a committee, obtain the assistance of one more college organization that's representative from the trainee physical body, like student council, for instance. Opting for the appropriate graduate college is vital to getting one of the most away from the plan. Others are leaving behind social institution totally - sending their youngsters to private schools, personal tutors or alternative institutions. You can't stand by till secondary school to try and also teach all of them the distinction in between inappropriate and also appropriate. Probably I shouldn't be actually agitated due to the fact that the planet today is different than it was when I went to university much more than HALF A CENTURY ago. I was actually recently messaged by an individual which was actually aiming to enter into school and also that stated they could possibly certainly not pay for the books I encouraged.

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jessicakmatt · 7 years

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11 Rob Burrell Tips To Improve Your Mixing

11 Rob Burrell Tips To Improve Your Mixing: via LANDR Blog

Pensado’s preferred mixer shares some hot tips.

Rob Burrell is a mix engineer who recently became Pensado’s Place’s preferred mixer. What do they have in common? A love of music and educating the next generation.

Burrell’s mixing credits include big rock and country acts like Michael W. Smith, Carrie Underwood, Lady Antebellum, and many others. He’s also mixed sound for film and is now working on a hard rock EP, a pop-opera album and music for three Sea World roller coasters.

“I don’t do genres—I make music. I listen to music that’s all over the map and I’m incredibly thankful that the same diversity comes across my console daily. My clients comes from all over the world, and I’m having the time of my life.”

He’s got us asking: what’s your secret Rob?

From Singing to Stepping Behind the Console

Rob Burrell wanted to become a singer and went to college to do a vocal performance major. One day a professor took him to a background vocal session he was producing. “I’d never been in a studio before, that night everything changed. Watching the producer and engineer accomplish what I had heard my whole life—and naively thought just happened automatically—my entire focus changed. It was the perfect blend of tech and musicianship.”

That made him shift gears and enroll in a Recording and Production program. “I got my first assistant gig in 1994 while I was still in college, and that first job turned into my first Platinum record to hang on the wall.”

A decade later, he decided to focus on being a mix engineer—not just an engineer who mixes. “This was scary because I had four young kids and a wife to provide for—but that’s a pretty good motivation to succeed! It was a rough transition, but it paid off. Somewhere around 5,000 mixes later, I still wake up everyday like it’s Christmas morning!”

Here are Rob Burrell’s 11 tips for mixing, studio workflows and living life, in his words:

1. Ask WHY?

I ask myself this question hundreds of times a day—consciously or subconsciously—out of years of practice. It’s a concept that I challenge all my interns, assistants and my clients with.

If you can’t define the “WHY?” to each and every action, you’re just wandering around hoping to stumble onto something that serves the song well. If you don’t know your end goal, you can’t know how to get there.

Sometimes it’s fun to hop in the car and drive wherever the road takes you. But if you’re supposed to be going out for a bag of coffee and your client is coming in 15 minutes… Might not be the best time for a joyride.

For example, I have a bass guitar on a rock track that is driving the chord changes and it isn’t cutting through. I’ve already defined “WHY?” it needs to cut through: because it’s crucial to the changes.

If I’m choosing a 1176 Blackface peak limiter over a STA-Level Tube Compressor after I pound it with 15dB of 800 Hz, 15dB of 1kHz and more shelf above that. WHY am I doing that? Is it because I read somewhere that you’re supposed to use an 1176 on bass? There’s no “WHY?” there—no thought process of your own.

I want the 1176 is because it’s quick enough to warm and round out a bunch of the clack up top I just created. I was looking for definition in the note changes and it gives me exactly that. The STA would glue it to the wall, but it would give me too much of the nasal region of the bass. It wouldn’t react as quickly to tame the front edge of the string noise.

Don’t get too hung up on “settings” or just become a preset robot. Instead, begin to be aware of your thought process and control it, rather than hoping to get lucky.

In the early part of your career, this will look more like “I THINK this is why…” As you learn and grow your mixing vocabulary, you’ll be able to say with confidence: “This IS why I chose what I did.” So don’t get too hung up on “settings” or just become a preset robot. Instead, start being aware of your thought process and control it, rather than hoping to get lucky.

2. Bring out the Emotion

Music is emotional! There’s no way around it. Sure, it’s technical and it’s a business. But at the end of the day music is born out of emotion—it expresses emotion, invokes emotion, and we should do everything we can to maximize it during mixing and mastering.

So listen to your songwriter, your artist, your producer and find the heart that drives the song. Sometimes this will be obvious when you listen, sometimes you’ll need to dig deeper.

If you invest emotionally and get inside the music, you’ll make much better decisions to serve it best as you can. And of course remember to ask your hundreds of “WHY?” throughout the day.

3. Check Your Acoustics

This is absolutely critical. If you spend any time on the internet, you’ll read that it’s all about “acoustics, acoustics, acoustics.” That’s true.

As a young up-and-coming engineer I always had my eye on more gear. I was sure it would make my mixes awesome. Or a new set of speakers so I could hear better. A killer set of speakers isn’t going to matter at all until you have a great acoustic situation sorted out.

The great news is that there are so many great products out there to help you. You don’t have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to get your control room dialed in.

For instance, I use the ASC Attack Wall system which I’ve owned for 17+ years and it’s absolutely amazing! People walk into my room to listen and cannot believe that it’s a modular acoustic system and not a 6-figure buildout.

Take some time to learn about acoustics. It’s your job to understand how it affects your work!

So take some time to learn about acoustics. It’s your job to understand how it affects your work! Grab a free copy of Room EQ Wizard and a measurement mic, and make a plan for spending some money to get your room sorted out. Otherwise you’ll buy a killer new tube compressor and won’t even be able to properly hear what it’s doing.

4. Choose Your Monitoring Chain Wisely

After your space is dialed in, having a killer monitoring chain is key.

A master DAC (Digital-to-Analog Converter) and speakers that you know intimately will give you a window to how your mixes translate in the real world. You want your speaker to give you the whole picture—not to leave out or gloss over parts of the picture that need more work.

Speaker choice is a personal preference but don’t just pick something that sounds good. Choose something that will inspire you to work harder to make a killer mix. There are speakers out there that I’ve tried and made me think I had knocked the mix out of the park… Only to go listen in the car and realize I should’ve kept working for another two or three hours!

So it’s important to have an honest speaker to guide your way. My personal choice are these ATC SCM50’s with dual Bag End subwoofers. I know that what I hear in my room will sound the way I intended when the mix heads out the door.

5. Balance the Right and Left Brain

Mixing should be a fluid process of constantly moving back and forth between the analytical (left) and creative (right) sides of our brain—never staying in one side for too long.

I love the technology we have today. I’m not afraid to say that I don’t miss the days of analog tape. I absolutely have no issues with what’s going on in the digital world and really love the flexibility it allows us to have.

I do have one issue: the fact that we’re staring at a screen all the time. Looking at music? No thanks…

Give tactile mixing a try. It will truly change the way you think and hear in your process, not to mention increase the speed at which you can accomplish what’s in your head.

This is something I’m very particular about. My main screens are off to the side so I physically have to turn my body to see them. I just don’t want to see music while I mix! Instead I’m grabbing faders, turning knobs, staring off into the space in front of me visualizing my mix and being moved by it—rather than being influenced by pretty colors on the screen or an EQ curve that “looks” too aggressive when I see the graph on the computer.

It’s very important to my personal workflow that I focus on the music. Obviously for editing we need to look at the screen or occasionally a plugin, but mixing is different. It should be a creative and musical experience. Even if it’s a single fader with a few knobs that let you to do more than one action at a time. That already has more emotion.

Give tactile mixing a try. It will truly change the way you think and hear in your process—not to mention increase the speed at which you can accomplish what’s in your head.

6. Think Analog for Headroom and Levels

In the digital age, even with great 32 and 64-bit mix busses, we should still be aware of analog reference levels. We love all our hardware emulation plugins, and designers have primarily created those based on analog gain staging.

The key to getting the best sound is to understand that the zero we see in our DAW’s is 0 dBfs (dB full-scale). That means end of the line, no more room. With Pro Tools meters, I always say that yellow is the new red.

Take a vocal, for instance. When a vocalist hits the region where green becomes yellow, the vocal is likely approaching digital zero. This is because of the slowness of PPM meters (‘pseudo peak’) and the harmonic complexity of the human voice. If that same vocal is glued in the yellow or tickling red, you are missing out on the optimal operating range of analog gear—converters and plugins alike.

Learn what reference your DAW uses (-16, -18, -20, etc.) and start watching your meters. So much of the width and depth we want a plugin to achieve is often easy to do by simply reclaiming the headroom we’ve lost from poor practices.

This applies to samples and Virtual Instruments (VI) as well�� so often they output right at zero. Don’t be afraid to turn the master of the VI down 10 or even 20dB! Who cares if the waveforms look small! GOOD! That’s why we have zoom functions on computers.

7. Get Down to Business

“Business Matters.” As musicians, we hate to think this way. But for a lot of us, learning to be businesspeople is crucial. At a certain point, you’ll need to make money to keep making music.

With intellectual property being so undervalued today, do your best NOT to undervalue it further with your clients. When you do work for free, that client will rarely want to give you more.

Study the business around you, understand your place in the chain, and think forward. Not just how to survive today, but what it will take to survive in the future.

Charge something, even if it’s just a little. As your ability and clientele grows, your rate should also. Eventually, you may be supporting a spouse and children—free doesn’t buy a lot of groceries or diapers!

Study the business around you, understand your place in the chain, and think forward. Not just how to survive today, but what it will take to survive in the future.

8. Don’t chase. Lead!

Any time you play it safe, you risk losing the client. We are hired for our opinion. If the client hears the mix and isn’t more moved than when they sent you the rough mix, what do they need you for, anyway?

I work hard to push boundaries every day—my own personal boundaries as well as the client’s. I might go too far and scare them a bit… AWESOME! I can always dial it back if I’ve gone out of bounds. If I went 10% beyond where they thought they were comfortable and we dial it back 5%, we’ve all still pushed our boundaries by 5%. This is evolution—carving new and exciting paths.

Playing it safe won’t get you a win. Be bold, maybe even reckless! Music is dangerous, so be fearless! BUT here’s two rules to remember…

Don’t be different just to be different! Know WHY you’re doing something different!

Make sure you are ready to listen to your client above your own ego, because if you aren’t a good collaborator, you may not get the call next time around.

9. Know the Reference

There are two components to this.

The first component is: what audio format is the reference? Always be aware when checking against commercial releases of the format you’re listening to. Streaming? iTunes download? CD? HD Master? Lossy formats are just that… Information has been lost.

If you listen to a stream and try to copy what you’re hearing, I can almost guarantee you’ll have less top and bottom than you should and too much overall compression/limiting. These formats don’t breathe the way your full resolution master should.

Be aware of the effects of these processes and listen for vibe and generalities, rather than accepting it as complete sonic truth. We shouldn’t be trying to copy another mix anyway, but be super careful of the tonal shape of each of the different formats.

It’s also crucial to know what your clients are referencing, because I’ve had “the mix is a bit too bright” comment before and after sending an MP3 reference rather than a WAV file, the top end was suddenly what they wanted. Sad, but true… know your formats!

The second component is simple. Just remember that no two songs are alike! Don’t try to squeeze your mix into a sonic box to match a commercial mix that you love. Again, listen for vibe and generalities. Do your own thing!

10. Ask questions

We ALL should ALWAYS be learning! I purposely set out to learn something new everyday.

There’s always someone who’s been at it longer than you, and those of us that have been at this for a minute love to share our passion for what we’ve learned.

Fight for knowledge and understanding on your own, but don’t be afraid to ask those that have years of experience.

Fight for knowledge and understanding on your own, but don’t be afraid to ask those that have years of experience. We all start at the bottom and grow from hard work and people speaking into our craft and career. This is community at its best!

11. Live life

Hustle, yes. Hustle hard. Music life is challenging, but therefore very rewarding! So live life with those you love.

Inspiration comes from the world around us. Work your tail off—we all need to in order to keep our edge. But without recharging you’ll get burned out.

No person is an island, so go hang out on an island with some family or friends!

Visit Rob Burrell’s website for more on his discography and studio. Follow Rob on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

The post 11 Rob Burrell Tips To Improve Your Mixing appeared first on LANDR Blog.

from LANDR Blog http://blog.landr.com/rob-burrell-mix-tips/ via https://www.youtube.com/user/corporatethief/playlists from Steve Hart https://stevehartcom.tumblr.com/post/161291828004

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fesahaawit · 7 years

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10 Things I Didn’t Expect in Early Retirement

[Happy Friday! Please welcome today, a good blogging bud of mine, ESI from ESIMoney.com. He recently retired at 52 and gained a whole new appreciation for what life has to offer. And spoiler alert: it doesn’t involve money or a high-powered career! Both of which he retired from once he realized enough was enough (his “enough,” btw? $3 million :)) Take it away, ESI!]

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When I retired last fall at 52, I thought I knew exactly what retirement would be like. Many of the expectations I had did come true, but there were several surprises as well.

Today I’ll share my revelations in hopes those of you considering early retirement might be better prepared for it.

#1. Mondays Became the Best Day of the Week

Monday was my archenemy for decades.

I worked as a marketing executive for 28 years, many of them in high-pressure jobs. The sinking feeling would start about 4 pm on Sunday — dreading the work week to come.

Then Monday would hit and it’d be the low point of my week. Each day got better than the previous one until we hit Friday. It was all great from there. Until Sunday at 4 pm again.

Now, Monday is my favorite day of the week. It signals the beginning of five days of peace and quiet. The gym is less busy, the stores are less busy, restaurants are less busy, everything is less busy — because people are at work. It’s quiet, and I like it.

#2. My Colleagues Can’t Accept I’m Retired

There’s a whole host of reactions you get when you retire early. Most of them are quite comical because people are literally stunned. This is especially the case when you’re a C-level executive (or higher), and you retire during your most lucrative decade of earning power.

I expected people to be a bit shocked, but I didn’t foresee them constantly pushing new jobs at me like I needed to work or my life was over. Colleagues after colleagues send me new job openings all the time now. I have more recruiters than ever even connecting on LinkedIn and forwarding me job listings (some are pretty good actually!).

Even people I just meet aren’t satisfied with my retirement.

I had coffee the other day with a friend of a friend because the original friend said we should meet. The new guy spent the whole time brainstorming how he could help me find a job. Ugh. I feel like an unmarried, 30-year-old woman whose Jewish mother keeps pushing bachelors her way so she’ll get married even though she doesn’t want to be married.

#3. I’m Busier than Ever

When you work 50+ hours a week for most of a career and have a family along with personal interests, you’re very busy. Life is hectic. That’s just the way it is.

I expected things would calm down dramatically when I retired, but I now seem to have more to do than ever.

The difference is that I went from doing things I HAD to do, though, to doing things I WANT to do. Which makes all the difference in the world.

Still, I’m swamped.

I’ve been ramping up my blog writing (which is quite fun and gives me a creative and intellectual outlet). I started working out at a faster pace. I developed a plan to climb Pikes Peak this summer. I got involved in more aspects of planning my daughter’s college career. I started helping my son find his life calling. I dramatically upped my video game playing time (from virtually nothing to an hour or so a day at the present time (Horizon Zero Dawn FTW!!!)). I joined a non-profit board that helps the homeless. And I’m planning several trips with various members of my family.

On and on it goes. Most of the things on my to-do list simply move to the next day’s undone.

I was one of those people who used to think “What will I do all day in retirement?” I then moved to “I’ll find things to do”, so I made the leap. Now, I’m wondering, “How will I get it all done?”

But I am doing what I want, which makes this a “fun busy”. So I don’t mind.

#4. I’m In The Best Physical Shape of My Life

I started working with a trainer about 18 months ago. Up until retirement, I had made tremendous progress. I added 20 pounds of muscle and dramatically improved my cardio conditioning (which has always been good.) As a result, I almost completely eliminated back issues that I had for over 20 years.

I thought I’d continue on the same pace during retirement, but the freedom of time and lack of stress has really taken my workouts up a notch.

In addition, since I’m at home more, I can control better what I eat — which has always been my weak spot as it’s so hard to eat well at the office (at least for me). They say being in good shape is 80% nutrition and 20% exercise. I so wish the percentages were reversed!

When I was younger, I could work out and eat pretty much whatever I wanted. No longer. As I gained that extra muscle, I didn’t lose much fat, so my weight went up (even while my waist size shrunk).

After retirement, I decided to get serious about eating well. I went high protein and low carb. Since the start of the year I have lost 16 pounds of mostly fat. In addition, I was given my third cardio test and my VO2 max was in the “excellent” range for my age. It was so good that it’s even in the “good” range for a 20-year-old.

Who would have thought my best physical years would be after 50?

#5. I’ve Gotten Very Comfortable Wearing Casual Clothes

I’m not going to say I have always been an uptight dresser. Let’s just say I was always dressed for the occasion. I like to look nice and professional whether at work, church, or even out shopping. I’m not wearing $1,000 suits by any means, but I like to be dressed “nicely” wherever I go.

Cue the workout pants. You know, the baggy, comfortable ones similar to what basketball players wear during warm-ups? They refresh my soul.

It took me about three days to go from button-down Bob to casual Clyde.

Do you know how comfortable workout pants are? Answer: VERY comfortable. These are for colder temperatures. Do you know how comfortable shorts are? Answer: VERY comfortable. These are for warmer temperatures.

Both are accompanied by a t-shirt and/or a Columbia thin pullover depending on the temperature.

These are now my clothing wear of choice. I haven’t donned even a pair of Dockers more than twice in eight months (I did wear a pair to a funeral, however). I’ve gotten to the point where even putting on jeans feels like I’m “dressing up”. And they just aren’t as comfortable as I like.

We even joke at my non-profit board meetings that I dress up for them by wearing my “nice” workout pants or shorts.

But what do I care? I don’t have anyone to impress.

Consider Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and the like. No dressing up there. They don’t (didn’t in Jobs’ case) care what they are wearing, they just want to be comfortable. And while I don’t have billions like they do, I am financially independent and can wear whatever I want.

Much different than my pre-retirement days…

#6. My Family Relationships Are Much Better

I assumed that retirement would give me more time with family, but I didn’t know how meaningful and far-reaching this time would be.

Here’s a sampling of the impact so far:

My wife and I take two 45-minute walks a day now (we live in Colorado, so even much of winter is walkable). It gives us lots of time to connect and talk. Great for our relationship.

I developed a reading plan for my son to help him discover what career he wants. We discuss each book and his notes on it. He’s also my Tuesday movie buddy (half-priced tickets!) since we like the same kind of shows.

My daughter and I go out regularly to eat (we both like Mexican), shop (she’s hooked on Bath and Body Works), or have coffee. We talk a lot about what she wants to do with her life, what to expect in college, etc. She’s totally prepared. We’ll be taking her senior trip to Seattle and Portland this summer and I’ll be dropping her off at college in the fall.

I have been able to see my parents a few times since retirement — way more than the twice-annual visits we had before. In addition, my dad will be coming to see us in June.

I was able to re-connect with my cousin on one trip to see my parents. I had the time (of course) that I never had before, so I asked if he was available. He was and we had a great breakfast. It was awesome!

I was able to attend my Aunt’s funeral, and even be at the hospital right before she passed. Having a job would have not afforded me the time (or at least as much time) for either of these.

In addition to helping connect with family, being retired has allowed me to connect with friends. I attended my college reunion last fall and got to see my three best friends from that time. I would have NEVER spent a week doing that had I been working. And I hadn’t planned on it even once I retired, but the new, more relaxed, me thought “what the heck!” and I went. So glad I did. I’ll be headed back to college homecoming this year too!

This is probably the most rewarding part of early retirement for me and completely unexpected. It’s been a great surprise.

#7. I’m Learning and Growing More than Ever

Retirement is the time to kick back, down-shift, and relax, right? The time to coast on all the work we’ve done up to this point, similar to the Falcons in the second half of the Super Bowl? (Oh wait, that didn’t work out so well)

Well, let’s just say that coasting is not for me. I’m pushing forward more than I ever have and am loving it! I am learning and growing in ways I completely didn’t expect.

Some examples:

I’m reading more than ever. The library and I are on a first-name basis. I’m there several times a week. I’m reading on personal growth, fitness, blogging, and a whole host of non-fiction topics. I also have time to read fiction and am catching up on John Grisham’s stuff, as well as a Batman graphic novel here and there.

I’m learning from YouTube. You can find videos on how to do anything these days. Now that I have time, I’m learning how to cook (especially grill), how to do simple repairs around the house (I’m not “handy” yet, but I’m getting there), how to travel hack (still a neophyte but learning), and on and on.

I’m heading up Pikes Peak. I told you I’m planning on walking up Pikes Peak this summer. So I’m learning about the physical challenges (and training accordingly), the equipment, weather, etc. It’s a blast to learn new things as well as have some big, physical challenge to look forward to.

I’m planning loads of travel. My wife used to handle most of the travel planning, but I’m now becoming the expert. This year we have trips planned to Seattle, Portland, back to Iowa (where I’m from), Dallas, and, the crowning touch, a month in St. Thomas early next year. There are various decisions to make, and of course I want to make the trips as great as possible, so I’m doing lots of reading about each place and searching for great deals.

I’m consuming podcasts. As I train for Pikes Peak, I’m walking a lot. Some of that is alone, and when I walk alone I listen to podcasts. I’m learning about a whole host of topics, plus getting lots of input on financial issues that keep me sharp. I really look forward to this time each day.

I’m playing chess. I now have time to do daily chess puzzles, play chess, read chess books, and even watch chess videos. I know some of you are close to falling asleep simply reading that last sentence, but chess thrills me. The strategy and complexity gets my juices flowing.

I’m interested in a lot of things, and now I have the time to learn about them too. I thought I would have some time for this, but the amount and diversity of learning has really surprised me.

#8. I Can’t Go Back To Work Anymore

When I retired I thought I’d only take a year or two off, but would then likely go back to work at some point — even if just part-time. After all, I was a high-power executive and work was what I did!

Now I can’t imagine ever going back.

If I did, I’d hate Mondays again. I’d have to dress in something other than comfortable clothes. I’d miss the time with family and friends. I’d have to cut back on fitness and learning. I’d have to live by a schedule. That all sounds like a colossal pain in the rear now.

I’ve since eased into my new normal, and I love it.

#9. The Stress is Gone

We all hear about stress and how it impacts our health, and so forth. But having lived with it for so long, it was normal to me. I didn’t realize just how much it was impacting me.

Sure, every once in a while I would realize my temples were tight and my jaw was clinched while laying in bed. I’d try to relax my facial muscles and could for a bit, but even trying to fall asleep, the tension would come back. It was the stress of work.

Once I retired, I could literally feel the stress melt away. It was that tangible. I was destressing after 28 years of constant pressure.

It took several months to go completely away (it was that bad!), but I eventually got to a low point of stress I never thought I would reach. I started sleeping better. My head wasn’t tight all the time. Life was more relaxing overall.

I was surprised at just how noticeable it was. Something that simply was there for most of my life, is now almost nonexistent.

#10. I’ve Turned Into a Morning Person

There are morning people, and there are night people. I have been a night person my whole life. My ideal world was to stay up until 3 am and get up around noon. Not bad, right?

But I had to go against that grain during my career. Most companies expect you to roll in well before noon, so I was up early every day and I hated it.

I didn’t think I’d sleep to noon every day once I retired, but I did think I’d sack in until at least 9 or 10am.

Nope. I’m now up and at ’em by 6 am most days. Sometimes I’ll got to 7 am if I had a really hard workout the previous day or stayed up late the night before. But that’s rare. I can’t remember the last time I slept until 8 am. And I’m certainly up more days before 6 am than after 7 am.

The big difference now, though, is that life is so much more exciting.

I’m getting up to do things that I want to do. It’s a blast — almost like the night before Christmas. I’m excited about the next day and simply can’t sleep longer.

Plus, the working out and lack of stress helps my sleep to be more restful, so I feel better with less sleep now than I did with more sleep while working. (But don’t worry that I’m robbing myself. I’m a regular 10 pm to 6 am sleeper, so I still get eight hours most nights)

My kids think I’m crazy (“why do you get up so early?” they ask) but that’s what happens when you are excited about life.

My wife has always been a morning person, but I’m now up an hour or so before her each day. It’s so quiet and peaceful at 6 am and the day is full of promise. It’s my favorite time of the day. 6 am on Monday is heaven.

As a bonus, I heard somewhere that getting up early can make you wealthy.

[EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the reason I started waking up at 5am every day! The peace is unparalleled! And as ESI mentioned, it’s far easier to do so when you get to do things for YOU than for others :) You can read about the other things I learned too when first starting this schedule here if you’re new to the site: What I Learned Working Like Benjamin Franklin For a Week]

So those are my ten surprises from early retirement!

I’m only nine months in so I’m sure I’ll find many more in the months and years to come, but hopefully I’ve given you a good glimpse into what retirement is like.

If you have any questions I’d be happy to answer them in the comments below.

Otherwise, I’ll see you at the gym on Monday morning at 7 am. :)

****** ESI is the founder of ESI Money, a blog about achieving financial independence through earning, saving, and investing (ESI). It’s written by an early 50’s retiree who achieved financial independence, shares what’s worked for him, and details how others can implement those successes in their lives. You can learn more about him, and get his free ebook, here: Three Steps to Financial Independence.

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