#i will add more if i remember anything else

[cheynovak]

Complicated

Characters: Soldier boy x Y/N Female character     

Summary: Y/N, a young personal assistant to Soldier Boy (Ben) and Crimson Countess, is caught in a whirlwind of events that shatter her sense of stability. After accidentally witnessing an intimate moment between Ben, Crimson, and another woman, she’s left shaken and unsure how to process it. The following day, Crimson casually invites her to join them, which only adds to Y/N's confusion.

Warnings: 18+ mentioning of: threesome, cheating, build up to smut/ spice.

English is not my first language 

*This story is my own original story, please do not copy my work, reblog/comments/likes are appreciated* 

part 1/?

Working for superheroes had always been my dream, and landing the personal assistant job for Soldier Boy felt like I had finally made it. At just 23, I was on the inside—right next to the legends. And more than anything, I admired Crimson Countess. I had looked up to her for years: strong, fearless, elegant, everything I wanted to be.

Soldier Boy was, well, intimidating. Ben, as I had been told to call him, was a larger-than-life presence, intense and unpredictable. But Crimson? She was the one who inspired me, and every day, I tried to live up to what I thought she represented.

Tonight was no different from most. It was late, the compound was quiet, and everyone else had left for the night. I was tying up loose ends, some paperwork mostly, when I remembered that Crimson had left a stack of files in her office. I figured I’d drop them off on her desk and head home. I had done it hundreds of times already, just part of the job.

As I walked down the dim hallway, I noticed her office door was cracked open. That was unusual; she was always so careful about her privacy. For a moment, I considered knocking, but it was late, and I assumed she had gone home. I thought I’d slip in, leave the files on her desk, and get out without disturbing anything.

But the second I stepped through the door, my world came crashing down.

Crimson Countess wasn’t alone. She was there, on the couch, barely clothed, on her knees on one side of Soldier boy while some other woman... well, sat... on his... face.

They were tangled together, moving in a way that left no room for interpretation. It was raw, intense—nothing like the polished, controlled way they presented themselves to the world. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t tear my eyes away from the scene.

My heart hammered in my chest as the reality of what I was seeing sank in. This wasn’t something my in experienced soul thought was possible. This was something darker, something intimate that I was never meant to witness.

Before I could even think to turn and leave, Ben pulled the girl of him, his sharp gaze snapped to mine and smirked, that signature cocky grin spreading across his face, like he found it funny that I had walked in on them.

“Well, look who it is,” he drawled, his voice low and thick with amusement. “Want to join sweetheart?”

My stomach churned. Crimson Countess didn’t seem to notice me, too caught up in the moment with him. His fingers tangled in her hair.

I took a step back, every nerve in my body screaming at me to get out of there. My hands were trembling as I fumbled for the door, trying not to look back, trying not to hear the low chuckle that followed me as I stumbled into the hallway.

“I—uh, I’m sorry,” I stammered, though I wasn’t sure if anyone even heard me.

My feet moved on their own, rushing down the hall, my breath coming in quick, shallow bursts. I could still feel Ben’s eyes on me, the way he hadn’t even been fazed by my intrusion. He’d looked at me like I was just part of the scenery or something to laugh about later.

The moment I burst outside, the cold night air hit me, but it did nothing to calm the storm raging inside of me. My hands shook uncontrollably as I pulled out my keys, trying to focus long enough to unlock the car door. I didn’t know how long I stood there, but eventually, I managed to get inside and slam the door behind me.

What had I just seen?

Crimson Countess—Crimson Countess—the woman I looked up to, the one I had admired for so long, wasn’t who I thought she was. And Ben, Soldier Boy, had just acted like it was no big deal, like he didn’t care at all that I just walked in on that.

My mind raced as I drove, barely registering the streets flashing by. The image of them together, so vulgar, was burned into my brain, refusing to leave me alone. They weren’t the heroes I had built up in my head. They were… something else, something I didn’t want to understand.

When I finally got home, I fumbled with the keys to my apartment, my hands still trembling. The door swung open, and I was greeted by the warm light of our living room. My fiancée Kevin was already there, standing by the kitchen counter, looking at me with concern.

“Y/N?” His voice was soft, and the second he saw my face, I could tell he knew something was wrong. “You’re home late. What happened?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out. How could I explain this? How could I even begin to tell him what I had just seen? I was sure my fiancee, respectable man he was wouldn't even understand this. My head was spinning, and all I could feel was the rush of emotions crashing over me—shock, disgust, confusion.

“I—I don’t even know,” I whispered, my voice barely audible as I set my bag down, my legs weak. I collapsed onto the couch, burying my face in my hands. “It’s… I saw something at work. Something I wasn’t supposed to see.”

He came over and sat beside me, his hand resting gently on my back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head, the memory still too raw, too sharp. I couldn’t even process it myself, let alone explain it to him. How was I supposed to tell him that the people I worked for, the heroes we had both admired, weren’t who we thought they were? That Crimson Countess, the woman I’d idolized for years, had just shattered every illusion I’d ever had about her?

“I just… need a minute,” I said softly, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill.

He didn’t press. He just sat there with me, his presence steady and comforting in the middle of the chaos in my mind.

I closed my eyes, trying to push the images away, but they wouldn’t leave. No matter how much I wanted to forget, I couldn’t. Crimson Countess and Soldier Boy weren’t just flawed—they were something far darker. And now, I wasn’t sure if I could ever look at them the same way again.

--

The next day, I sat at my desk in the office, trying to act as normal as possible, but the memory of what I had seen last night haunted me. My fingers tapped anxiously on the keyboard, eyes glued to the paper, but my mind was miles away. Every time I tried to focus, my thoughts drifted back to Crimson and Ben… and that other side of them I had never imagined.

The Tower bustled around me—colleagues moving through the halls, casual conversation floating in the air. Everything felt normal, but I felt like I was on edge, hyper-aware of every sound, every movement. I kept telling myself that if I just acted like nothing happened, everything would be fine.

But then I heard her familiar voice and my heart dropped.

Crimson Countess.

I didn’t dare look up as she strolled over, her signature confidence radiating from every step. I tried to stay calm, but my fingers froze over the keyboard of the typewriter when I saw her lean on my desk out of the corner of my eye. She wasn’t in her full supe outfit—just casual, but even then, she exuded that effortless power and control that had always made me idolize her.

“Morning, Y/N,” she said lightly, but there was something teasing in her tone.

“Morning,” I managed to reply, keeping my gaze glued to my paper.

For a moment, she didn’t say anything, just watched the room as a few of our colleagues passed by, her lips curling into a faint smile. I could feel the tension building, and my stomach twisted in knots. I knew something was coming. I just didn’t know what.

Finally, when the coast was clear, she turned her attention fully on me, her voice low and almost conspiratorial.

"Ben told me you saw us last night."

My breath caught in my throat, and I could feel my cheeks flush bright red. It was like my whole body betrayed me, and I cursed myself for it. The heat crept up my neck and into my face as the memory of what I’d walked in on slammed back into my head.

“I—uh—” I stammered, struggling to find words. “I’m so, so sorry. I wasn’t supposed to see that. I didn’t mean to—”

Crimson waved off my apology with a casual flick of her hand, like it was nothing. Her expression was calm, her eyes almost amused, as if she found the whole thing mildly entertaining.

“No need to apologize, sweetheart,” she said, leaning in a little closer. “If you want to join next time, you’re welcome to.”

The offer hit me like a freight train. My mouth went dry, and I had no idea how to respond. I could barely believe what she was saying—it was so nonchalant, so easy for her, like inviting someone to dinner instead of, well… that.

My mind went blank, but the first thing I managed to blurt out was, “I’m engaged.”

Crimson’s eyes flickered with amusement before she suddenly threw her head back and laughed, the sound loud and echoing throughout the office. A few heads turned, but no one seemed to think much of it—this was Crimson Countess after all. People expected her to be eccentric.

“Engaged, huh?” she said with a smirk once her laughter subsided. “He’s welcome too.”

My jaw nearly hit the floor. I stared at her, completely lost for words. Did she actually mean that? The casual way she said it, as if it was no big deal, made it even harder to wrap my head around.

“I—uh, I—” I stammered, trying to find a way out of this conversation without combusting on the spot.

Crimson just smiled, crossing her arms and leaning back slightly. “No pressure, Y/N. Just let Ben or me know if you’re in or out. It’s all about options.”

Options? I wasn’t even sure how to respond to that. My entire world had flipped upside down in the span of a few seconds, and here she was acting like this was just another casual conversation.

“I… I’ll think about it,” I said quickly, though in my mind I was screaming no, no, no, wanting to escape this situation as fast as possible.

“Good girl,” she said, winking at me before pushing off my desk and walking away, leaving me sitting there in stunned silence.

As soon as she was gone, I finally let out the breath I’d been holding. My heart was still racing, my palms clammy against the keyboard. I tried to make sense of what had just happened, but nothing about it made sense. What kind of world had I walked into, where things like this were normal?

And worse, how was I supposed to look her in the eye now? Or Ben? I swallowed hard, staring blankly at the text I just typed. How did I get into this situation?

--

The next day, I was running late for lunch. Most people had already returned to their desks, leaving the cafeteria nearly empty, just a handful of others grabbing a bite before heading back to work. My stomach twisted with anxiety—I still hadn’t fully processed my encounter with Crimson Countess. I barely managed to choke down a few bites of food, my nerves making me feel sick.

I was sitting at the far end of the room, hoping to avoid any more awkward encounters. But just as I thought I was in the clear, the door swung open, and in walked Ben, flanked by the TNT twins. I froze, my heart pounding in my chest. He scanned the room, his eyes landing on me almost immediately. And then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, he smirked.

My pulse quickened as he started walking over, his strides slow and deliberate, like he enjoyed the effect he was having on me. I quickly looked back down at my half-eaten sandwich, pretending to be too engrossed in my food to notice him. But it was too late.

Ben—Soldier Boy—pulled out the chair beside me and sat down, the weight of his presence making the air feel heavy. I could feel his gaze burning into the side of my face, and I silently prayed he wouldn’t bring up last night. I wasn’t ready for another awkward, twisted conversation.

"So," he began casually, his voice low, "have you spoken to Countess?"

I swallowed hard, nodding. “Yeah. She, uh… talked to me earlier.”

He didn’t say anything for a second, just stared at me, his eyes gleaming with amusement. He could sense my nerves, I knew it. My hands felt clammy, and I tried to focus on anything other than how close he was, but his presence was suffocating.

"She tell you how we like to have there sometime?" Ben asked, his tone smooth, like he was discussing the weather.

I nodded again, my throat dry. “Yeah, she… she mentioned it.” I could barely get the words out. Every part of me wanted to shrink away, to disappear, but Ben leaned in closer, closing the already small gap between us.

"I gotta say," he murmured, his voice dropping lower, "I wish you’d stayed last night." His lips curled into a smirk as he watched my reaction. I could feel my face turning red, my heart racing uncontrollably.

“I’m engaged,” I blurted out, my voice louder than I intended, desperate to set a boundary. Please, let that be enough.

But it wasn’t. Any other man might’ve taken the hint, backed off, but Ben wasn’t just any other man. He chuckled, a dark, deep sound that sent shivers down my spine.

“Engaged, huh?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly unfazed. "That’s cute, congrats, I'm sure he is eh, taking care of you."

"Oh he is." I answered way too fast. His hand moved over my arm, "So you have... some experience, thats good." I couldn't look at him thinking. Well not much, not at all if experience means what he did the other night... but I had sex before yes.

He must have read my mind "You gotta understand something, sweetheart." He leaned in even closer, his breath warm against my skin. “This is freeing. Learning to love more than just one person. Sharing is caring, right? Besides I might teach you a thing or two your man likes.”

I stared at him in shock, my mind racing, trying to make sense of what he was saying. It wasn’t just about what I had seen or heard. This was something bigger, deeper—he truly believed it, believed in some twisted version of love where boundaries didn’t exist.

My mistake was looking up at him then—really looking at him. I was too close, closer than I had ever been. For a moment, all I saw was the strong, perfect lines of his face, the chiseled jaw, the intensity in those green eyes that made it hard to think straight.

He was beautiful, magnetic, and dangerous all at once. I hated how my body reacted, how my breath caught in my throat as I felt the pull of his presence. "I-I don't think I would... like it." I stammered.

His gaze dropped to my lips, and I swore my heart stopped. My whole body tensed as I realized just how close we were, the air between us heavy with something I didn’t understand.

“You could learn to enjoy it,” he whispered, his voice seductive, filled with a kind of promise that sent a shiver down my spine.

I quickly looked away, my mind screaming at me to get out of this situation, but my body betrayed me, frozen in place, caught between fear, confusion, and something else I didn’t want to acknowledge.

“I… I can’t,” I stammered, my voice barely audible.

He smiled, a slow, predatory smile, as if he had all the time in the world. “Think about it, Y/N. Seems like you’ve got a lot to learn, want to keep your soon to be husband happy between the sheets, don't you?” His hand brushed against mine on the table, and the contact sent an electric jolt through me.

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. All I knew was that I needed to get out of there. Now.

“I should go,” I muttered, pushing my chair back so fast it nearly toppled over. I stood up, my legs shaky, and grabbed my bag. Ben just leaned back in his chair, watching me with that same smug, knowing smile, like he’d already won some kind of game I didn’t even know I was playing.

“Take your time,” he said lazily, his eyes glinting. “We’re not going anywhere.”

I didn’t dare look back as I rushed out of the cafeteria, my mind a mess of confusion, fear, and frustration. How had I ended up here? What kind of world had I gotten myself into, where boundaries didn’t exist, where people like Ben and Crimson Countess played by their own rules?

And most importantly—what the hell was I going to do next?

--

I couldn’t tell Kevin about what happened. He’d flip. The thought of trying to explain everything to him, the look of betrayal and anger that would flash across his face… I just couldn’t handle that right now. It felt like everything in my life was spiraling out of control, and I didn’t have the strength to add another confrontation to the pile.

That day, I rushed home far earlier than usual. I needed stability, something to ground me, and Kevin had always been that for me. I kept telling myself that once I got home, once I saw him, everything would start to feel normal again. He didn’t know about the world I worked in, the twisted games that came with being around supes. With Kevin, things were simple. Normal.

When I reached our apartment door, I noticed something was off before I even stepped inside. The faint glow of candlelight flickered under the door, and I could smell something sweet—champagne? My heart lifted slightly, thinking maybe he had planned a surprise. Maybe Kevin had sensed how off I’d been lately and wanted to make it up to me. The thought of spending a quiet evening together, just the two of us, made my chest ache with hope. This was what I needed.

But the second I opened the door, that hope shattered.

There he was. Kevin, sitting on the couch, cozy and comfortable—but he wasn’t alone. Another woman was with him. Her long legs were draped across his lap, her hand on his chest, and they were kissing. Not just a casual kiss, but something deeper, something intimate. The kind of kiss that said I was no longer part of the equation.

The candlelight, the champagne, the soft music playing in the background… it wasn’t for me. It had never been for me.

I stood frozen in the doorway, my breath caught in my throat, unable to process what I was seeing. My entire body went numb, like my brain was trying to protect me from the full force of what was happening.

My heart broke, a sharp pain slicing through my chest as I watched them—Kevin, the man I was supposed to marry, the man who had promised to love me, sitting there with someone else like it was the most natural thing in the world.

He didn’t even notice me at first, too caught up in the moment with her. I felt like I was drowning, my mind swirling with disbelief and devastation. I wanted to scream, to yell, to make sense of it, but all I could do was stand there, staring at the wreckage of everything I thought I knew.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he pulled back from her, and that’s when he saw me. His eyes widened in shock, and for a second, we just stood there, the silence between us deafening.

“Y/N,” he breathed, his voice laced with guilt, panic flashing across his face as he shoved the woman off his lap. She scrambled awkwardly, clearly not expecting to be caught.

“I—uh—it’s not what it looks like,” he stammered, but the words felt hollow, meaningless. It was exactly what it looked like.

My voice cracked as I finally managed to speak. “How could you…?”

He stood up, his hands out in front of him like he was trying to calm me down, like I was overreacting. “Just listen—”

But I didn’t want to listen. Not to him. Not now. Everything inside me was breaking, crumbling, and the anger, the betrayal, it hit me all at once, crashing into me like a tidal wave.

“How could you?!” I shouted, my voice trembling with hurt. “You’re… you’re... How Kevin! We were supposed to—” I choked on the words, unable to finish the sentence. We were supposed to get married. To be together.

His eyes softened for a moment, and I could see the guilt settling in. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t—"

“Don’t,” I snapped, cutting him off. “Don’t you dare say you didn’t mean for this to happen. You did.” My hands clenched into fists at my sides, my entire body shaking. “You planned this. You set this up.”

His silence said it all. The candles, the champagne, the soft music—it was all for her. Not for me. Never for me.

The woman stood there awkwardly, looking between the two of us, clearly uncomfortable but not nearly as sorry as she should have been. I felt sick to my stomach.

I turned and bolted out the door, not caring where I was going, not caring about anything other than the fact that my life, my world, had just been ripped apart in the span of a few short hours.

--

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[probablyfunrpgideas]

So Campaign Idea

The setting is a digital world that is presented to the players as an actual world with actual history and actual people living within it.

The digital world, however, was created by a now-extinct Mindflayers who created a data version of a mindflayer long ago to create a world to which the Mindflayers can move to. But sadly, the world wasn't finishee before the Mindflayers went extinct.

The Data Mindflayer is completely aware of their kind dying, but it knows nothing else but to create the world overwriting the previous one again and again essentially recreating a loop.

The party, during the "final" session of the campaign find out about the data mindflayer and decide to confront it - in which they fail.

Now, back to the first session, where they restart at their starter levels. The characters themselves don't know anything BUT THE PLAYERS DO, and the characters essentially start to remember things as they go on through more loops and resets, creating possibly different builds each time so when they get to the final loop and get the most info and ways to defeat the Data Mindflayer they would be able to "merge" their two fav builds for the ultimate showdown.

Thanks for this idea! I was trying to put together a list of some other time loop posts on this blog, but thanks to our impeccable search function I only found this one. I think the best way to do this campaign, though, is if you purposefully add some new options and paths and adventures on each loop!

If the Dataflayer is rebuilding the world, that implies a few things: one, there's a limited amount of storage or some other resource! As characters and places get recycled, you can offer the party a quest they didn't take last time, or even a new ally or patron who's been programmed in to make the digital dimension more convincing. The other thing you can do is (especially at the end of the first run) use the digital universe to inspire a sense of dread.

"As these brave heroes sink down, lost in the dust of history, the world moves on. Generations come and go. Your hometown grows to a city, then becomes abandoned when the droughts consume the land. Thousands of years pass, and the world is unrecognizable, with towering spires and vast amphitheatres - all empty. As if they were built for a people who never existed. Millions of years pass, and everything crumbles. The stars go out one by one, like electric lights switching off. And when all is dark... a light blinks on once more. A new planet, a new sun, forming over millions of years, shaped by invisible commands, until we see a small village in a valley, where a group of heroes is meeting for the first time. Everyone, please introduce your character!"

The last bit of advice I'll give is that there has to be a way to solve the problem or convince the Dataflayer to change its ways or escape the digital world without having to win this crazy difficult fight. Maybe the PCs can find out why they're special, why they're the only people in this world who discovered it's a simulation? Or maybe they can create or find evidence of real mind flayers, allowing them to take control of the program...

[hyuck-inmysoul]

You and Jisung both ended up going to the cafe together as Chaewon was busy with her next class, Sitting down on a booth “See anything you want Y/n?” Jisung had asked you as he already knew what he wanted, air poking against his cheek while his finger tapped on his card. “Just a caramel latte sung” You replied to him with a soft smile, having him nod his head before he walked away to go order.

Haechan and the others all entered the cafe as they were assigned to sit on a booth, ordering and talking about life as friends do. Until Haechan spoke up, “Let’s play a game!” He said as he eyed both Chenle and Jeno, seeing them nod their head as approval. “First one to make a sound has to make friends with someone here but the winners get to choose who!” Haechan said with an eye smile as his friends rolled their eyes before nodding to agree with him again, they both already knew he was going to lose in the end. All three of them calmed themselves down before Jeno snapped, signaling that the game has started as Haechan leaned over the table to move Jeno’s hair back, exposing his forehead before he flicked on it with all his strength. The poor boy breathed heavily as he rubbed his forehead after and just gave Haechan a soft smile with no sounds leaving his mouth, Jeno then turned to Chenle as he smacked him harshly on his shoulder, using all of his strength, leaving Chenle biting down on his tongue as he nodded his head.

Chenle looking up and seeing Haechan taking a sip of his hot latte before he shook the table, making the hot drink spill all over Haechan as Haechan looked up at his friends and yelped. “What the fuck le!” He said in a whisper but loud tone, leaving Chenle and Jeno to both high five each other. “That’s not even fair! I wasn’t paying attention!” Haechan fought back as Jeno looked around the area for someone to point out. “Did you really have to choose a pretty girl? Why couldn’t you choose a man or something!” Haechan let out a whine as he lost the game between his friends, “You yourself said we can choose anybody!” Chenle put his hands up in the air as self defense as he watched the male turn around to look at the girl sitting with by herself. Jeno pushing Haechan closer to the table as he huffed under his breath, “i’m never playing with you two ever again..” He said as Jeno walked away while whistling “I heard that!”

You felt a shadow pop up beside you as you were waiting for Jisung to be back with your drinks, looking up you saw a man about 5’10 with light brown hair, wearing skinny jeans and a oversized black shirt. “Can I help you?” You looked at him confused, he scratched his neck and started to stutter as he spoke, “I-I just wanted to say that..Well! I think you’re p-pretty yeah! and i’d like to be fr…friends?” He was able to finish his sentence as he waited for a response. You could only let out a nervous laugh as you nodded, “you could’ve just said that! what’s your number? i’d love to be friends!” You replied back as you pulled out your phone, handing it into the males hand infront of you. Haechan smiled as he heard the term “I’d love to be friends!” but his smile soon faded as he felt a cold phone in his hand, looking down at the “add contact” he was seeing. Gosh he couldn’t even remember his own number at this point, he was so nervous and scared as he stood there for a minute with your phone in his hand infront of you. You thanked that Jisung had to use the restroom before coming back to the table or else he would’ve been bombing you with questions right now.

“Earth to..whatever your name is, are you okay?” That immediately made Haechan snap out his thoughts as he pulled out his phone, “oh yeah sorry..just forgot my number..” He breathes heavily as he felt even more nervous, so nervous that he jotted the number down into her phone and said his thank yous before walking away. Haechan walked away as he sighed heavily, the nervous feeling going away while he walked back to his friends “so..did she get it?” Chenle asked as Haechan looked up at him and nodded with a fake smile, “Yeah she did” He replied as he saw Jeno and Chenle both high fiving each other once again. Not knowing that he jotted down the one and only Huang Renjun’s number aka his best friend in another strangers phone.

[thr0wnawayy]

Rei-Demption: A problem and my solution (ft. Rei's trauma and Hori's bullshit)

Might as well give my shot at it.

My take on Rei's personality has always been based in suppression.

Rei's whole life has been a balancing act of doing enough to protect her family, while still staying within the lines to not get disposed of.

She's everything Enji isn't. An iron will, a golden heart and a strong sense of empathy.

So with that in mind, hopefully it she'd light on it thought process with this post

A theory I have is that Rei was aware of the hospital's corruption

These panels always felt off too me, it always made me wonder: "does she know?"

The wording is very specific.

"I told him I liked it, around the first time we met. But only once"

It always struck me as odd, We're talking about the man who looked at his eldest death and kept going, man who destroyed multiple lives for a redundant pipedream.

It's not even why would he remember such a small detail, but rather how?

Unless... the doctors are feeding him information.

Think about it, who pays for all this. Surely it's not Fuyumi, on account of this being a massive money sink.

You really expect her to pay for all that on a teachers salary?

It can't be Natsuo because Enji has likely cut him off from everything to his name.

And that's assuming Enji even bothered to save up a college fund for any of them. Plus Natsuo is a full time student of medicine.

If the doctors are watching her every move, looking for any sign of deviation from the narrative then it makes sense for her to disguise her words.

Of course there's still more

Having PTSD isn't something you can keep someone institutionalized for. Especially when Rei's is very proportionate, given what she's gone through. (No, Japan's stigma of mental health wouldn't justify this)

I mean what are Rei's triggers?: Enji and that's about it.

"But we still... haven't met face to face, I'm still too afraid"

That's a standard reaction to have to your abuser (especially when he raped you multiple times)

('Just stop' gets a whole lot darker when you consider it's context)

Not to mention she's no longer fearful of anything resembling Enji, just Enji himself. So there is no real reason to keep her there unless they are afraid she might speak out.

This whole thing makes me think she's trying to tell Natsuo and Fuyumi what's really going on, in a way.

Subtly and under the calm, complacent mask she's expected to wear, in case anyone else is listening. Anyone who could report back to him.

It might also be she doesn't trust them. Fuyumi or Natsuo could blab or say something within earshot that could set Rei back months.

And she can't have that, not with how close she is to finally breaking free. She loves her children, all of them but the trust just isn't there, how can it be when when they don't have all the pieces.

So here's my theory: The hospital staff are in Enji's pockets. Either taking bribes (as recent as Dabi's Dance) or they were given a large sum of hush money when Rei was first hospitalized, with the goal of keeping her there as long as possible and possibly molding her to either keep her mouth shut or (sickeningly) gaslight her into returning to Enji.

(Note how she was only released when they could no longer keep a lid on things, the moment Dabi frops the bomb. She's out, no struggle)

This paints a picture of grotesque corruption, sloth and apathy (the very same cocktail that created Shigaraki) even by Hori's narrative standards. Shedding light on just how deep MHA's despotic nature goes.

The anime makes this even more apparent. Rei's fake smiles make the whole thing that much more viable. She seems so dead, it's like she smothered her soul or something.

I've seen both the sub and dub of this scene. The sub is the correct translation, the same as the Manga panel above.

The Dub however, while severly off mark, adds it's own flavour of dread. Rei sound so hollow, it was jarring the first time I heard it.

It sounded like she was reading a script (in-universe). Like she'd rehearsed this in her mind a million times, staring at the same 3 white walls + the window and waiting for an opening to finally speak.

That was supposed to be Shoto, until the dorms ruined that. Suddenly Rei's lifeline is gone, reduced to letters that don't even tell half the story.

10 years, 10 fucking years reduced to lines on a page.

Can you imagine the despair, dear reader?

The frustration. The sheer vitriol coursing thorough her veins, far hotter than Touya could ever manage.

Having to do the same thing she's been doing even before she was locked away. As the the skeleton in the closet of a criminal with a license.

Wearing masks for so long you can hardly breath and in the brief moments you can take them off. You can hardly recognize yourself, how you once were.

It must be the truest form of hell.

The Rei-demption Arc

Rei's redemption arc takes the attention of our theoretical arc without overtaking it.

The arc would mostly focus on the more domestic aspects of our trio being: Midoriya, Shoto and Uraraka.

A few minor changes would occur. The dorms never happen, allowing the characters to exist outside of UA.

There is solid confirmation that Fujiya is corrupt and is keeping Rei institutionalized on illegal grounds (ie: not meeting the criteria set up to ensure her silence)

The dinner scene would still happen only it would bd framed for what it really was. A pathetic attempt at creating a moment that never existed.

There's no family with Enji.

Just a family held hostage and a tyrant. I have my own grievances with Fuyumi, but I'll leave that for the future.

The only difference besides Natsuo being properly portrayed as a victim acting well within his right, the reasons for our trio going would be for Shoto's emotional wellbeing, because he asked them to.

Uraraka could have a moment where she realizes that money is as much as good as it is bad. An actually decent shift into her change of goals.

Here Enji motivates her to "watch the watchmen". Her need for money is still a crucial part of her reasons for becoming a hero, but she also has a more front and center goal.

I'd imagine she has a moment parallel to Midoriya's during the Sports Festival.

Where (alone in front of the Dojo after the failed dinner) she rightfully calls out Enji for being a self pitying piece of shit and that "sorry" doesn't cut it.

"You've hurt them in ways you can't imagine." Would probably be the last thing she says before walking away.

She may not know the whole story but she knows it hurt them and that's enough.

Rei's ascent

Rei's biggest hurdle is accepting that she was also an abuse victim. She's furious but she's only furious on her children's behalf and what they lost.

Her unintentionally harmful actions weigh on her, be it her neglect or the night she scalded Shoto, these events have impacted her deeply.

She learns to reconcile with her past, improve her relationship with Shoto and even meets Shoto's friends at one point.

Eventually she finds closure but that's later on.

She also acts as an advisor at times, having given Shoto the idea of using Ice projectiles (as seen in the Licensing Exam)

The second half comes from the Hospitals corruption, as Rei learns that she is long overdue for release (by about 8 years) among other horrific practices. This would play out as the arc's B plot, building up to what I call "The Summit"

The Summit

Eventually Rei fights Hood.

After gathering the evidence, she escapes the hospital. Planning to go to Natsuo for protection. As she's walking across a crosswalk however, she hears what sounds like an explosion.

Eventually she hears screaming and is forced to use her quirk as a bus is suddenly sent hurdling in her general direction.

As of her body moved on its own, she envelops it in her ice. Stopping the bus and saving those behind her in the process.

Only to see Hood land on top. They lock eyes and Rei can't help but see Touya in Hoods ambition.

In response to Rei holding her ground, Hood dashes. Rei counters this by manipulating her ice to send him crashing into an empty building, impaling him on the glaciers end.

Hood is impressed by Rei's proficiency and chooses to fight her.

Rei having no experience, fights for her life. Where as Rei avoids Civilians, Hood has no care for them which forces Rei to play the role of hero.

Rei uses every weapon in her arsenal in order to stave off Hood, who only gets more relentless as the battle stretches on. The upside is Hood's regeneration struggles in the cold, which Rei is constantly producing.

Each side gets blows in, with Rei taking them surprisingly well but still being worse for wear. Hood notes this saying "as if y-you've done t-t-this before" (close, Hood very close)

Eventually Hood gets the upper hand, towering over Rei in a manner that triggers her PTSD and leaves her stunned.

One of the civilians (Horoshi Tameda) emboldened by Rei's efforts, picks up a loose chunk of pavement and chucks it at Hood's back. It hits, causing Hood to look back.

Civilians begin making loud noise, others begin picking up anything they can find and throw it at Hood. Further catching him off guard long enough for Rei to snap out of her episode and strike back.

From here the fight kicks into high gear, with Rescue heroes & paramedics arriving on the scene and a camera crew recording the fight from above. Overall I imagine the scene to be very uplifting, with the Orchestra swelling as Rei prepares a final attack.

The move rivals that of Shoto's, arguably even surpassing it. Hoof is incased in a prison of Ice, covering an entire city block worth of destroyed buildings. And the fight finishes with Rei collapsing to her knees.

From here on out things change. Rei's newfound fame leads to the hospital being forced to do their job. Because of this Rei gets out early (around the time the Internship arc would started had I not scrapped it)

As for what this could lead to I'll let you decide. I'd love to read some suggestions.

Bonuses:

Theories:

The reason they kicked Fuyumi from her job is because she covered an abuser's ass for years. While Fuyumi is a victim, it doesn't excuse her complacency in regards to Enji's treatment of Shoto before and after his "self pity" arc.

Natsuo didnt go to someone because he wouldn't likely be believed, being seen as bitter and untrustworthy (his time away from home wouldn't help with pinning evidence).

Extra:

Hood survived the fight, Rei opted to capture him as opposed to kill him. That doesn't mean he didn't get frost bite. Police found out it is very difficult to question a Nomu.

Out of all her trauma. Rei accepting she was never given a choice will be the hardest to accept.

Rei's family is not inbred, rather her parents ran away so her father wouldn't be forced into a marriage with his cousin. Only to ironically do the very same to their daughter.

Hiroshi still becomes a meme, his 'Can't you see speech' leads to him becoming a motivational speaker.

The reason Hood appeared is because Dabi lost track of him. He nearly had a heart attack when he discovered his mom was holding the Nomu off.

[szaryherbatnik]

Okayokayokay so I got completely sidetracked the other day before I could share my ouaw headcanon with you but here it is!

Except for Torbek, every member of the Krew knows how to mend their own clothes.

Frost can’t actually sew to save his life, but he can use his powers to repair damaged and worn clothes.

Gricko’s knowledge is very incomplete, having learned a little from his mum and a little from his time on the road. I think with all the places he’s worked, including on a ship, he’d have picked up some general skills, but if you want something to look good, he’s probably not the person to ask. His few attempts to make costumes for Hootsie didn’t go well, to the extent that he is now banned from sewing indefinitely. Usually, he just asks Frost for help (or, more likely, Frost just Notices that Gricko needs something and does it before he can even ask). I can only picture him sewing using, like, twine.

It was mentioned in canon that Gideon knows how to sew, but I don’t remember if they gave any more details than that. I headcanon that on the plains, Gideon and his dad had to make what little they had go a long way, so Gideon got pretty handy at modifying garments. And then after he met Kremy, his fascination with engineering combined with his new appreciation for fashion to make him a talented seamster. He probably does Kremy’s sewing, too, because cmon. It’s them.

Not unlike Gideon, sewing was a necessity growing up. Kremy is competent with a needle, but it’s not a skill he chooses to flaunt. He’d much rather ask Gideon to do anything approaching manual labor.

Twig is the party’s best seamstress. She’s had thousands of years to learn to make cute outfits, and she loves making and modifying garments for her friends. At some point (outside of canon), she makes Torbek a new outfit that isn’t just filthy rags. Torbek immediately stains it by crying into it (fortunately, Kremy’s there to prestidigitate it clean again).

Oh i love all of these! To add to kremy i want to imagine him adding little modifications to his clothes when he was younger. Just to look a bit better than everyone else because OF COURSE. And OF COURSE gideon sews both for him and for himself how perfect thank u so much for these and yes i do feel better mow thank you :))

[clownsuu]

Hey I have a question but are you the original creator for mafia mob au or is someone else cause I think I stumble in a TikTok creater and they made a mafia wally au. Both arts are amazing but I was just curious to know.

I think I know who you may be talking about! There is basically two “mafia” aus lol, theirs and mine- our aus are completely separate from each other and from what I know, have no affiliation with each other whatsoever besides coincidence of universe

[silusvesuius]

unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP

retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).

Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping. 

if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know

^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises

even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you

even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird. 

there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

people can use this site however they want but there's something almost- idk, sad? about how few people are actually using their blogs. you can turn themes on and have skeletons dancing in the background. you can make everything hot pink. your blog is your scrapbook and you can put whatever you want in there. tags are okay at organizing things so you can have just a whole archive of cool shit to look at later. i know people complain a lot about people liking stuff about reblogging for engagement, and on one hand i get that- it is WILD to see a drawing i spent hours on get only 12 reblogs and 60 likes. Absolute culture shock compared to my previous fandoms. but i don't think you should reblog anything to make artists happy. i think you should reblog things so you can find them again. i think you should queue things to appear on the dash at specific times on certain days. i think you should reblog things so when you're talking to your friends about xyz post you saw you can look in your blog's archive and find it again. i think you should reblog things so that your dash is filled with one really sleepy cat. with the loss of reblogs there's the loss of engagement, which Does hurt the community-focus that makes tumblr so appealing, but idk i just wish people were more excited about the incredible amount of customization that tumblr allows and took advantage of that more

[theotherrichardpapen]

Reading List 2023-2024 📚

The Secret History - Donna Tartt

The Song or Achilles - Madeline Miller

The Myth of the Wrong Body - Miquel Missé

The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Remainder - Tom McCarthy

If We Were Villains - M. L. Rio

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

Bones and All - Camille DeAngelis

The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt

The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde

Beyond Good and Evil - Friedrich Nietzsche

Diaries - Franz Kafka

Frankenstein - Mary Shelly

Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Tales - H. P. Lovecraft

The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri

1984 - George Orwell

The Iliad and The Odyssey - Homer

Unnatural Causes - Dr Richard Shepherd

Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes - Eric LaRocca

Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson

The Trial of the Templars - Malcolm Barber

Foucault's Pendulum - Umberto Eco

Demian - Hermann Hesse

Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen

Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

The Atlas Six - Olivie Blake

Giovanni's Room - James Baldwin

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reids

Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo

Vita Nostra - Maryna & Serhiy Dyachenko

Pageboy: A Memoir - Elliot Page

Slaughterhouse-Five - Kurt Vonnegut

The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodr Dostoevsky

(updated: 03/01/24)

[toomanygoddamnspirits]

Could you please elaborate on the podcast stuff??? I know nothing about it

I don’t know anything about behind the scenes at all of course so I don’t have anything to elaborate but for those who know nothing/are confused by this ask

Like during the height of Covid watcher had a podcast called “here’s what you do” where you could ask Ryan Shane and Steven for advice and there was an episode where someone asked for advice on a homophobic (friend? Classmate? I don’t remember)

and Ryan and Katie (filling in for Shane to my recollection, though it could’ve been Shane and Katie filling in for Ryan) said to drop them/cut losses/etc

but Steven talked about how he is friends with homophobic people in his personal life

safe to say this was not well received by watcher fanbase and they did a short apology video afterwards where poor Katie looked like she was gonna sob from my recollection but after that the podcast was just. They just stopped it and never continued it again.

[skitskatdacat63]

https://www.tumblr.com/mctwinkdom/738953986761211904 I think they stole your oscar gifs

Aaaaahh you're right :(( I don't understand why people think it's okay to just repost someone else's gifs without credit for their own purposes? Like saying "I'm obsessed w this gif" and not even saying *who* the gifs are from. And their post has more notes than my original 😭 it's so easy to recognize too because it's just from such a specific moment, y'know had to sit thru testing at like 4 am and then randomly came across them showing Oscar(and also the shit quality lmao.) Like just because it's almost a year old doesn't mean it's just okay to repost?? Ah wow reposting someone else's gifs and then adding your own little Twitter caption, you can't just reblog, or at least ask to use? Okay :/ thought we knew better on tumblr lol

[deathdxnces]

» — ⌜𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴: 𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂.⌟ 

𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚊   𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝   𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛   𝚊   𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎   𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝   𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎. it is an immutable constant in her life since its beginning, and what led her to stardom. the early years of her childhood were spent in carefree learning of traditional korean dances from her grandmother, but she soon moved on to learn myriad other styles, from classics to contemporary and everything in between. trained as an idol from a young age, she made her debut as part of a group at age fourteen. following their disbanding, irelia launched a successful career as a soloist, achieving worldwide fame.

the more specific information tidbits.

irelia is the fourth child and only daughter of lito and iseul xan. zelos, kai and ohn are her older brothers; ruu is her only younger brother. her grandmother, hayun, also lived with them (her eldest brothers might have had places of their own already? idk). they were a happy family and led a comfortable life.

she was around 3yo when she started dancing, learning from her grandmother. her first contact with dance was through traditional and folk dances, although she would start branching out to different types as she grew up. to her grandmother, their dances still held power, being more than just performance; irelia didn't share her beliefs, but always respected them.

at age 10 she became a trainee, and would debut as part of a kpop group at 14. i don't have the specifics for the group but if for whatever reason it'd be interesting for anyone to plot something in that sense just come yell at me 🫡

her family was almost entirely murdered when she was 11. irelia and her brother kai were the only survivors, due to not being home at the time. she was the one who found their bodies — and who had to stab two men to get out of the house alive. if they were targeted for a reason, irelia doesn't know.

i'm sure she made swain lose his arm at some point idk how but that's a canon event always has to happen in every universe.

kai, already an adult by the time their family was killed, was the one who raised irelia from then on.

irelia dedicated herself entirely to dance and music and her training after losing her family, and left a lot unprocessed and ignored in favor of focusing on that. she wasn't open to accepting help either, honestly. you can see when the 'suffers in silence and says she's fine' attitude began. i think she's also very angry and resents what happened to her but she won't talk about it. and she learned to not act on her anger and always try to, well, act as if it doesn't exist, because she was being trained to be an idol after all.

kai is the only one she'd sincerely listen to for the longest time. she's very attached to him and i feel the opposite would also be true, considering they lost their entire family. her brother is very very important to her.

it's public knowledge that her only living family is her older brother, but the fact her family was murdered, as well as what irelia herself went through when that happened, aren't widely known facts. i think with enough investigation people could probably find out, but it'd take digging into it.

irelia is very dutiful and dedicated and harsh on herself trying to not let anyone down. being trained as an idol from a young age, she had to face a lot of pressure and developed the very unhealthy habit of facing everything quietly on her own because she has to be good enough to deal with everything on her own. it's what people expect of her. she can't falter when others look up to her like that.

as the leader of the group she debuted in, she was extra prone to trying to shoulder everything on her own, on top of being very perfectionist, though irelia was always harsher on herself than anyone else. like, i don't think she'd fight or criticize or argue with anyone for any mistakes (unless they were purposefully not taking things seriously), i think as a leader she's more. inspirational and helpful. but i think when it comes to herself even a hair out of place is enough for her to be quite harsh on herself.

she still struggles greatly with a lot of pressure and a complicated relationship with perfectionism in that at the same time she feels she has to do everything to not let people down and to live up to expectations, she hates the expectations and that people expect her to be perfect and don't really see her as a person who is human and flawed. yes, just like canon c:

between her personal tragedies and the pressure and strictness of the industry, there's a lot she didn't really have the chance to experience as a teen, and i think nowadays irelia is still learning to embrace her freedom (which is part of why i think she very much enjoys spontaneous people and people who just. do whatever they want. it isn't always something she does easily and i feel she'd appreciate the nudge in that direction).

i think she can come across as cold/haughty at first (in part, it's the resting bitch face), but she's super caring toward people close to her. very protective and affectionate and too willing to excuse their wrongdoings tbh skdjfnksjfn she can also be silly but that's usually reserved for the people she's very close to.

toward fans and such she's always very warm and attentive. irelia would always try to take the time to interact with anyone who tries to approach her when she can, and she always tries to be as nice and kind to them as possible.

she's not nearly as warm toward reporters and paparazzi. i think she handles interviews well, but like, anyone trying to pry into her personal life and paparazzi type of things she has 0 tolerance for.

she can sing and dance and act. she also speaks korean, english and japanese. i haven't decided if she knows more languages so uh i might add to it later..

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

today makes four years since I got the three houses game as a gift so I'm gonna write down some thoughts I recently had about my selfship with Claude and the sun/moon dynamic? symbolism? that XD

I wouldn't be able to tell who is who. Even if some hints could make it seem obvious (ekhm, my s/i's name being Helios, for example), it didn't feel like a complete description of their own views and what's going on between them, so I gave it more thought and came to the conclusion that they are each other's sun and they see themselves as the other's moon. that's what Claude and I would have going on

Because how wouldn't I see Claude as the Sun with the way he lights up any room just by being there? with how bright his smile is? with how he seems to be able to slowly change things for the better with such warmth, making days easier to go through? yet I am very aware that sun eclipses exist, but I would do anything to go through those days by his side, too. in that way, the name of Helios is full of devotion and loyalty, for not only the personal feelings but also the admiration, the gratefulness, the acknowledgement, the will to do anything to keep him safe. Helios is a sign that he guards the Sun, almost as if they had been named for it, putting him before them just like a small satellite always orbiting around the same other.

Yet for Claude, born under the Moon symbol of the Riegan Crest, he feels like he's always dealing with both the bright and dark sides of the Moon. He might be the house leader of the Golden Deer, sure, but that "golden" in its name and a yellow cape won't make him escape from his Moon nature. He's got shadows he needs to control and not let others find out; he's got to get clues and know what's going on there where no one else dares to walk down; he's got too many expectations on his shoulders to consider he can naturally shine bright, so he tries his best at putting strategies over the table and not let any lives fall behind. Oh, but Helios. They who encourage freedom, who are so open with actions and questions, who always got his back in the batteflied to the point of feeling like someone's missing if they are not there, whose eyes look so fondly at all the Golden Deer that they might be two whole suns in one human body. Their silences, full of understanding somehow. Their invitations to reading evenings in their bedroom, never judging, never pressured; just their comforting smile and their embrace's warmth, truly worthy of being compared to the Sun.

[kaeyas-tits]

Hm. Thinking about biblical paralels in Fontaine

[dadbots]

cold as shit & freezing my ass off in this winter (But at least we made it to December.)

[maiteo]

anon babes…the links.. 🍎 and spotify