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writing-appreciation · 1 day

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The Office

Synopsis: You are promoted to the Unit Chief of Crime Scene Investigation. Moving in to your new office, some familiar faces help you settle in. Others, a little more than others... in his own way.

Pairing: Spencer Reid X Reader

Warnings: SUGGESTIVE. Didn't proofread before I chose to upload this. Sorry in advance.

"Uh, actually, Pen, so sorry, can you actually set that box on the desk? That one has all my stationery." I said in a strained voice, trying to gesture to my desk, but the boxes I was carrying blocked my view.

"I totally would, my leige, but the boys have not quite gotten your megadesk in here yet." She rushed to me to help me destack my boxes that were dangerously close to toppling over as I struggled to keep my grip on them.

"Oh! Thanks you Freaky fashinova you!" I smiled at her help.

"Ladies, not to bother our new CSI Unit Chief, but this desk is a little heavy and you're standing exactly where we need to put it."

We both turned to see Derek, partially in the room, and Luke holding up the other side of the desk, but outside the room.

"Sorry, guys, we'll move!" I quickly apologized and began to move myself.

"Tall, dark, and muscles, you can move me any time you want." Penelope said while exchanging glances with the two men trying to move my desk into the room.

"Listen, Mama, any other time, but right now, my fingers are too sore to play these games right now. So move your perfectly fine ass.. please."

Penelope did move out of the spot after a few seconds of prolonged eye contact with Derek.

"Uh, as a Unit Chief, do I have an obligation to report this as sexual nature?" I asked, while adjusting my glasses and picking up a clipboard from an open box.

That comment caused an outburst of laughter to fill the room.

"Y'know, (L/n) don't you have a team yourself that could help you move all this stuff into here? Feels like your already abusing your power." Luke jokingly said as he adjusted his side of the desk to line up with the space I had cleared for it earlier in the day.

"Well, Agent Alvarez, you can thank Penelope, who graciously volunteered you and Morgan to move the heavy stuff into here." I clapped my hands together. And leaned on the now placed desk.

An array of beeps coming from all their phones interrupted him before he could rebutle.

"Let me guess, a serial killer loose on the east coast, oooh, no the Midwest?" I exclaimed as they each read their messages.

Derek was the first to look up and nod his head sadly.

"Four kids, all below the age of ten, abducted, brutally beaten, and then.." He trailed off.

Penelope and Luke shared a knowing look.

"Well, don't let me keep you, go, go save the kids." I smiled sadly while shooing them out of my office.

The three of them left and began their decent down to the BullPen, gathering their BAU team mates along the way.

It was weird being up here, being able to quite literally, have the higher ground to the agents below me, many of whom I have developed close friendships with over the years.

While watching the three agents join the rest of their teammates, I heard a familiar clearing of a throat which made me pull my attention to a friendly face leaning against my door frame.

"Dr. Reid, hello." I smiled, nodding in his direction.

"Dr. (L/n). Your office is a bit more chaotic than I expected." He gestured to several boxes, and scattered case files littering the tops of closed boxes, my makeshift desk before this new one came in.

"Well, considering I have only had this space for a week, and during 5 out of those 7 days, I was busy consulting with the Miami Dade Police with a few gruesome crime scenes curtosey of an unsub your team happened to catch while also in Miami, I haven't had much time to.. decorate." I raised my arms in gesture to the scattered boxes around me.

He laughed, now inviting himself into my office, carefully picking up a loose photo frame from an open box. A small smile creeped onto his face as he looked at the photo.

"Not that I don't enjoy your company, Reid, but don't you guys have a case to review before you leave?"

"Actually, not going. I'm guest lecturing at Virgina State this week. By the end of the week, if they still need me, I'll meet them out there. So, if you were to need any help..decorating I am available."

I smirked at his choice of words, knowing what photo he has in is hand. To any other, unsuspecting, eye, it appears to be a photo of an abstract piece of art. Lots of paint smears, random hand prints scattered along the canvas. But the two of us knew the story behind that photo. And it was a real work of art.

"Y'know," I began, kicking myself off of my desk, "now that I have a whole office, and not a tiny little desk, I might actually hang that painting here above my desk. Penelope said she thought the use of colors were.. emotion invoking."

He let out a breathy laugh and gently set the photo down, now taking a step closer to the window. "Ha, did she? It sure did invoke alot of emotion during its creation." He ran his finger along my window sill, raising it to find it dust-free.

"Yes, Dr. Reid. Very..cathartic I would say." I smirked. "Also, if you're looking for any signs of dust, don't you worry, I went through with a feather duster this morning."

"Good girl."

I bit my lip, to hold back a response to that. We, afterall, were still in semi-public. My door was wide open, blinds open, if somebody was walking by, they surely would have heard us talking. And God forbid anybody were to see a Unit Chief and a simple agent sharing a rather sexual verbal exchange.

But there was nothing simple about this man and I and our relationship. We have tiptoed around that imaginary line, separating agents from "fragernizing" with one another for so long. Some times that line was completely kicked to the side and forgotten during those (excitingly long, but wonderful) nights we spent in one another's bed.

It's borderline criminal- the hold that man has on me. And it's not just about the sex. That part is great and all, but it's the connection we have that makes this..situationship as great as it is.

Spencer said it best one night after a particularly rough case both my CSI team, and his BAU team collaborated on. We both had some...frustrations to get out and it made for a rather intense night once we got back to Quantico. But it's what followed the intensity that sealed the deal for me on Dr. Spencer Reid.

A tense, but comfortable air settled in the room as I laid on the bed, exhausted from what I believe was the sixth orgasm of the night. I stopped counting after three. Spencer would surely know, but he ran off to gather a couple drinks for us.

As I began to pry myself from the bed, I heard the familiar bedroom door open.

"Hey, lay back down, let me clean you up."

I made eye contact with the lanky man approaching me. He had a couple water bottles, and a dishtowel in his hand that appeared to be wet.

I think he caught on to my confusion and responded, "I mean, if you'll let me. You can clean yourself too if you want. I just feel kinda bad, I took alot of this case out on you just now." He awkwardly shifted from heel to heel.

I couldn't keep my laugh in. It wasn't a laugh at him persay. I just thought it was funny that awkward little Spencer Reid, eloquent DR. Reid, SSA Reid who has stopped hundreds of literal psychopaths without batting an eye, stood here in front of me who was still completely naked, heaving like a caged animal after the activities we just did, and he somehow felt more out of place than I did. In his own apartment. His literal bedroom.

"Really, Reid, it's fine. You don't have to clean me up because you feel guilty. I had a good time. No boundaries crossed. Honestly, I kinda needed a good time." I said, once again starting to sit up.

"(Y/n), please, I just. It takes two to make the mess. Let me clean you up a bit. I can draw us a bath? A nice massage? I bought more of that Chamomile Lavender tea you liked, and stocked up on the sleep massage oil you are obsessed with." He broke his eye contact to rush to the corner of his room, to his fully stocked tea/coffee bar.

It used to just be a coffee bar, until I found myself spending the night more and more often. And so there was an electric tea kettle, several different types of tea I have brought myself, for when I knew I would be spending time at his apartment.

But my mind stayed hooked on the fact that he said, ' I bought more of that Chamomile Lavender tea you liked..'

Idetic memory, Spencer Reid, remembering a fact like this wasn't all too surprising. It's the fact that he bothered to put effort into keeping things I like in his space. He was quick to recommend me keeping a whole dresser in his bedroom. Not just a drawer, oddly cramed with things. It's like he wants me here longer than just a simple bed buddy. And the thought of that made my heart ache.

I was pulled out of my trance when I heard water running from his bathroom. I looked up, curiously, meeting his eyes as he left the bathroom and rejoined me in the bedroom.

"You took too long to decide, so I decided for you, we're taking a bath and you're getting a massage. Here's your tea." He held put a mug with my initials on it.

This mug was also a new addition.

"Uh, t-thanks." I stuttered as I accepted the mug from him, examining it up close.

It was my favorite color. Favorite shape of mug. Hell my initials were done in my favorite font. But what caught me most off guard was the inscription on the handle

'For my favorite flower'

I turned the mug around to see the other side, and low and behold, there was a hand drawn image of my birth flower- his favorite flower.

"Wow, Reid, I love this mug." I gasped, still appreciating it.

"(Y/n)-" He seemed to want to say more, but cut himself off.

"Let get into that bath." He held his hand out, and I gladly accepted it with the hand that was not holding my tea.

He was first to get in, he smiled, so wide it almost hurt my cheeks to see him smiling like.. like a lovestruck idiot. I couldn't help but join his smile, and lay myself into the bath, in front of him. I eased into his chest almost immediately. The hot water was helping to sooth my aching muscles from the earlier activities. Spencer laid his chin on the top of my head and began absent-mindedly stroking my shoulders, which gradually transitioned to a full blown massage.

This was bliss.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He whispered into my ear.

His voice sent goosebumps down my arms, undoubtedly he felt.

"This is just nice." I sank further down into the tub, turning slightly to catch a partial glimpse of him.

He hummed in response and gently swiped a fallen strand of hair from my forehead. This simple gesture made me feel like a 17 year old girl again. The feeling of butterflies fluttering in my stomach made me so nervous, but I didn't want the moment to end.

"It's Spencer." He said with a smile, his eyes flicking to my lips and back to my eyes.

"Hmm?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

He scrunched his face in laugher and cleared his throat.

"My name is Spencer." He repeats, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Uh.. yeah? Kinda found that out a while ago." I laughed, still confused as to why he suddenly was saying his name.

"You still call me 'Reid'."

"Well, yeah you're Spencer Reid. The 'Reid' part is kind of a part of your name."

"Yeah, but when you call me 'Reid' it feels like you still see me as just a coworker."

Pretty sure my heart broke just then.

I quickly turned to face him fully, wanting to give him my full attention.

"What do you mean? I think you're so much more." I reached for his chin, to make him face me.

"You do?" He says, still in a saddened tone.

"Rei- Spencer," I corrected myself, "You are unlike any man I have ever met. You are the most caring, devoted, passionate, loyal, goofy, intelligent, wonderful mess of a man I have ever had the privilege of meeting. You are the first person I want to talk to after a tough case, and the last person I always talk to before bed. Meeting you has made me want to be a better person, it's made me a better friend. You've shown me a type of love I never thought I would see again."

"So you don't just stay for the sex?" He asked quietly, like he was afraid of the answer.

"Spencer, honey, if we quit having sex right now, you still won't be able to get rid of me. Sure, the sex is great, don't get me wrong, love that, you are truly gifted, but I don't need it. I just need you. Your company, these moments where we just talk and hang out, or when we go to nerdy conventions together and have the time of our lives. I need your rambling about a random topic you know everything about because I just enjoy being in your presence. And listening to you talk. Your voice is so calming. You can be telling me about the terrible and gruesome ways an unsub dismembered, disembowled, and worse to a victim and I will hang on your every word. Even in complete silence, I just feel your comforting aura. And I don't want that to go away. If you don't want me to go, that is. It was never about the Sex, Spencer, it was always about you."

Before I could continue, he pulled me into a tight embrace and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

We sat in silence for a while. I don't think Spencer was anticipating a big long confession from me today. However, I was careful with my words. I never exactly said 'I love you.' But God, did I want to. I do love this man. In the way that makes me want to grow old with him and listen to the way he would rattle facts off to our children.

"Yknow, I learned something rather interesting on this case." He finally spoke up, while rubbing circles into my pinky finger with his thumb.

"Oh, you can still learn things? What did you learn, Spencer?"

I felt him smile into my head at me using his first name.

"Our Unsub was choosing victims by his belief in the Japenese Red String theory."

"And because I didn't study Japanese myths, I'm gonna need you to explain that one to me, Doctor."

"So, pinkies are a big thing in it." He began to explain excitedly.

He held his arm out to meet mine. Both our right hands, extended out so we could both see our hands in front of us.

"The theory states that everybody is attached to somebody with whom they will tell an important story, or make history with."

"And I take it that they are attached with a red string, to their other person's pinky?"

"Yes. And what's even more tragically beautiful is that the connection never breaks. Even in death, the passing of the loved one becomes the story itself. Throughout any tangle, the string remains strong. They are destined to have that connection."

"That's interesting, but how did our unsub use that theory to pick his vics?"

"He was perverting the story. To him, he believed the stories he was destined to tell revolved around brutally torturing and ultimately murdering women he believed he was bound to."

"Oh, wow. Hey, does it ever get exhausting to constantly deep dive into somebody's psychology? At least with my job, everything is a fact. Splatter patterns, ballistics, autopsy results, everything I do is set in stone. I rarely, if ever, have to think about the how, the why, and the what's is going on in his head. It seems exhausting."

"It is exhausting, so it's nice to have somebody to talk to after a long one." He sighed, pulling me closer to his chest.

Eventually we made our way out of the bath, and dressed into our pyjamas for the night. Spencer put on some documentary in the background as we settled into the bed for sleep. I pulled out a book I was working through and began reading where I left off.

"Hey, let me read to you?" He looked at me with the biggest puppydog eyes I have ever seen.

I nodded in agreement and handed the book to him. He grabbed his reading glasses off his nightstand, cleared his throat, and began reciting the words from the pages.

I couldn't help but feel my eyes go heavy, finding a deep comfort and safety in where I was right in this moment, and who was in this moment with me.

I think Spencer felt me leaning further and further into his shoulder, dancing on the verge of sleep, so he did finish out the chapter and placed the book and his glasses on the nightstand.

He pulled the blankets up to our chests, and began to relax himself. His arms around their way around mu waist and he pulled me closer to him, even throwing his leg over my own.

"For the record, you are the person I am bound to. You are my destiny. You are the light in my darkness. You are the love of my life." He whispered, while placing a gentle kiss on my head.

"Love you too Spence.." I began, and immediately fell victim to slumber.

"Dr. (L/n)? Are you okay?"

His question brought me back to reality. And that reality is that I am going to start daydreaming about Dr. Spencer Reid right now.

"OH? Yes, thank you Dr. Reid. I'm fine. Just out in my own little world." I laughed off my need for him.

"Well, I have to start making my way out to Virginia State, so I'll see you around." The final part of his sentence, sounding more like a question. Like he was asking if he would see me later.

"I'm sure you'll see me around. I have some major nesting to do in this office. Have fun shaping future minds!" I called out the last part as he made his way out of my office. He did turn back, just before he had fully left my line of sight, giving me a small smirk.

The rest of the day went on fairly slowly. Alot of organizing my space to my liking. Penelope would swing by every so often with treats and trinkets. Before I even knew it, it was after hours in the building. After hours on a Friday night. Needless to say, everybody was eager to get home.

However, I was so caught up with decorating all day, I didn't get a chance to review case files for my team. I had planned to do this task over the weekend, but I noticed the usual hefty stack of cases, were actually only three cases. So I decided to just look them over here, rather than have them to ruin my weekend.

Penelope offered to stay behind as well, to, in her own words, be my sparkly ball of joy, while I looked at the information. I love that woman, but I knew she would distract me, and I would be stuck here even longer, so I sent her home.

I was so enthralled in my cases that I didn't really pay too much attention to the lights of the BullPen turn on. I figured it was an agent, running back into the office to grab something they forgot to get when they left for the day. I ignored it, and continued to read. That is, until a jiggling of my dornob caught my attention.

My eyes flickered down to my gun, laying holstered, on my desk. Carefully, I removed the gun from the holster, and began to stand. Afterall, nobody should be trying to get into my office. In fact, nobody else should be here.

I cautiously made my way to my door. There was no peephole, but I did have windows to either side of the door. Earlier in the day, I closed my blinds because the heavy foot traffic of the BullPen kept pulling me away from my tasks. Just as I was about to peak through the closed blinds, my phone began ringing in my back pocket.

"Shit." I cursed aloud, in a hushed voice, as my free hand flew to my phone to silence the noise.

"(Y/n), open the door, it's me."

I immediately relaxed and sighed in relief.

I unlocked the door, and welcomed the very dapper looking Doctor standing in front of me into my office.

"Spence, you gotta warn a girl. I had my gun drawn, definitely could've taken you out." I breathed out, now making my way back to my desk to reholster my gun.

"I did warn you. I texted you four different times. I even showed up to your apartment, and when I didn't find you there, I concluded you were still here. So now here I am." He gave me one of his infamous goofy smiles.

"Well, excellent deduction skills, Doctor, " I sat in my chair, pulling out my phone to read the texts Spencer sent me.

He sat in the chair, across my desk as I read the texts.

2:30 p.m

'How is the office decorating going?'

3:42 p.m

'I take it that it is going well. Would you please call me when you get a chance. I miss your voice.'

5:13 p.m

'I am currently at your apartment, I am cooking (your favourite meal). I assume you'll be a bit late home, so I'll finish up when you call me.'

6:48 p.m

'I'm not one for impatience, but I have not spoken to you since this morning, so I am going to the office, and (respectfully) dragging you out of there if I have to. X'

"First of all, I missed you too Spence. And I'm sorry for not responding. I got so tied up with decorating and reorganizing, that I lost track of time. Then I realized I had a few cases to review, which I was going to go this weekend, but there were only three, so I wanted to knock those out before I left for the weekend."

"Do you need any help?" He said, reaching for a file.

"No, honey, I'm fine, really. I just need maybe 15 more minutes, and we can head out, okay?" I gently placed my left hand on his to stop him from grabbing a casefile.

He looked at my hand on his, our engagement ring sat on my left ring finger, and I could tell he was confused.

"I hope you don't mind. I really like wearing it, and nobody was here, so I slipped it on." I gestured to the ring.

He was wildly smiling at my hand and ran hid thumb over my left ring finger knuckle.

'I love it. I wore mine today when I was lecturing. Makes it feel like you're right there with me." He grinned ear to ear.

I smiled, pulling my hand back, and picking up the file I was reading a few minutes prior.

I heard a shutter of a camera go off, which made me perk my head back towards the man across from me.

"Sorry. I couldn't help it, you look very good right now." He gushed as he looked at the photo on his phone.

"Spence," I began.

"You're sitting there, in your chair," He stood up from his chair, and began walking behind my desk, "behind your desk," He was standing behind me now, he leaned down to my ear, "in your CSI Unit Chief office, wearing your engagement ring. It's all very attractive. Doctor. (L/n)." He placed a kiss further and further down my neck as he spoke.

He stopped at my shoulder. Placing a gentle kiss on the clothed area.

"Spencer, I- we need to st-" He cut me off by slowly pulling my blouse down my shoulder to expose the skin. I gasped.

He quickly turned my chair around to have me facing him now. A suggestive look in his eyes hinted at his intentions right at the moment. He held his hand out, which I gladly accepted. He led me to stand, which I obeyed. After I stood, he pushed my chair out from my desk, knocking it into a bookshelf in the process, causing some books to topple to the ground.

"Hey! I worked hard on that organi-" I began to stay, but was interrupted by Spencer pushing me to the desk and slamming his lips into mine.

I muffled a moan in shock, but immediately began kissing him back. His hands wondered down to my hips, and he squeezed them like they were his life line. After a few minutes of a rather intense makeout, he broke the kiss, followed by a long inhale.

"Spencer, we really need to stop. Anybody can walk in. And I still haven't found a way to tell the director we're engaged. This would be a bad way for them to find out." I heavily breathed out.

"(Y/n), it is 7:20 on a Friday night. I think it's safe to say nobody will be barging in. And I can't get the idea of taking you right here, right now, out of my head. So please, stop worrying and enjoy the moment." He neatly gathered my case files and set them on the chair, completely clearing my desk of anything important.

He looked down at me with those damn alluring eyes. The kind that I have never been able to say no to. The kind that said he was ready to give me the world, whatever consequences may follow.

I nodded, eagerly. Throwing all resolve out the metaphorical window because now, seeing my lovely fiancee this lust driven towards me in our workplace was also driving me crazy with desire.

He didn't hesitate. He roughly connected our lips together again, now trailing his hands down my body.

He bent down slightly to grab under my thighs to help usher me to the top of my desk. I hopped up to be sitting on the desk.

He smiled into our kiss, but moved his lips down to my cheek, then to my jaw, then down my neck, peppering several kisses, all with varying intensities.

I felt his hands travel back up to my blouse. Then to the buttons, slowly undoing them as his assault on my neck never haulted. It felt so overwhelmingly amazing. And this was just the beginning.

There are so many different ways we could break in this office. Too many for just one night. This would more than likely be happening again. And again. And again.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds spencer reid #masterlist #writing appreciation's blurb night #writing appreciation

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darkness-follows · 2 days

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hey! i love your writing! there’s so little for Boyd x reader out there, so if you’re up for it could you maybe write something for him? maybe a little hurt/comfort and smutty?? he’s such a weirdo and i love him sm

thank you! and have a nice day :)

Thank you, thank you !!!! And of course!!! I hope the changes I made and the idea it turned into still all work for this !

Boyd x Female Reader

I'm still not over the end of City Primeval because it was so perfect and makes up for how in my opinion the other 7 episodes were a bit of a tough chew. Not bad! But not fantastic either.. but still, consider giving it a watch especially for the end of episode 8 for this mini multi part fic might spoil some things!!!!

It hurts so good aka a Justified: City Primeval sequal to the OG show with older Boyd and a Prison Guard reader who falls madly in love with him.

TW: Blood. Wounds. Prison stuff. Smut (cavity/strip search). Gross other prisoners.

Enjoy PART 1:

First day on the Job. A Female prison Guard in a men only Penitentiary, it takes a lot to stomach everything, the comments, the looks, the disgusting things prisoners say to you. But you prepared for this, you got trained for this and hell you will make the best of it! You get to meet the non violent prisoners first, the ones who aren't arrested for rape or torture or anything of that kind. It's also the first time you meet Boyd Crowder. Your family being from Harlan Kentucky you heard some stories..

You know of him, but not a whole lot about him.

Though mistakes happen in prison especially on a first day. Your partner accidentally left you alone with Boyd and another prisoner in the back of the kitchen. And men who were locked up for a long time...don't exactly behave the best towards a young, pretty attractive new Guard. "Didn't know they hire models" the prisoner says, it's a mild start but it gets worse and worse. Until he makes a move towards you, he grabs your wrist and tries to pull your hand towards his crotch "let go! Let go of me!!" You try to pull away but he's twice your size.

You hear a loud bang and all of a sudden the prisoner has his eyes snapped on Crowder.

"Jerry! That ain't how we treat women now is it? You better confess what you've done if you wish to sleep in peace tonight" Boyd turns to take the man's shoulder, guiding him slowly out of the kitchen. "You don't want any suprise visits tonight do you Jerry?" He whispers before he shoves him out of the kitchen.

Shaking his head "I'm sorry about that, some of em really don't know how to behave. You okay?" He asks and when your eyes meet his it's almost..magnetic. "hm? Oh! Yeah! Yes thank you, I was ready to get that taser out" You huff.

"Oh please there is no need to thank me, I'm sorry your first day went like that, I sincerely hope one bad Apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch for you now. There are some good men in this place." He points out. The way he speaks and the methaphor.. you heard he has a certain charm to him but seeing it in real life, hearing his buttery accent and the way he carries himself despite the orange prison attire? He's a bit Interesting..

"I'm known to hand out a few chances" You smile and open up the knife drawer with your keys. Your duty is to observe their cooking and Crowder was listed as green when it comes to kitchen supplies such as knives.

"Gotta admit I might be the same way, Lord knows I've been giving away chances like free candy" He takes one of the bigger kitchen knives to start cutting the vegetables Jerry was supposed to take care of. The way he keeps looking over his shoulder at you to talk makes you feel a certain kind of warmth. He's really making sure to adress you respectfully, keeping eye contact and not looking you up and down like the rest of em in this place.

"Well, thanks again Crowder." You nod. Keeping it professional.

🕐

2 weeks into a new job and it's safe to say that you adjusted well, you know who to trust and who to get along with, which prisoners are the nice kind and which ones are the bad. This place works like a perfectly oiled machine, everything is time based and the system of the prison works. You shouldn't have a favorite prisoner but this Crowder guy doesn't seem too bad. You've been through his file a little, it's a hefty record for a man who seems so nice and collected. You also stumbled across some pictures of an injury he got inside.

Graphic pictures of a mean looking burn on his upper arm, investigation showed second degree burns to apparently scorch a hateful Tattoo off of his skin. Ouch. Yet no agressor is listed, apparently, he wouldn't say who did it to him. It was his first week of kitchen duty too.

You see Crowder again in the kitchen, it's easy for New Guards to be posted at Lunch and dinner. Observe everything.

"You've got to try this! For prison chow it really is somethin' " Crowder points out, stirring a pot.

You hesitate at first but you are pretty sure he wouldn't try and poison you. Not like this anyways. "I don't know If..- I'm allowed to" You frown but with a smile. Though no other guards are around so maybe it's fine. The smile on his face when you step closer is almost sweet, he takes a spoon and puts some of the food onto it, holding it out to you. You don't even really think about it when you open your mouth and your lips move around the spoon that he's holding. Too distracted by the taste.

"Wow!" You huff suprised, chewing slowly. "That really is good" How on earth does prison food taste better than the food at your own table at home?

"You like it? It's a old Crowder family recipe. It's easy to make but got quite the kick to it!" He throws you another rather off putting smile, why is he so nice? You read his file you know he's not violent for no reason but it's still a bit unusual.

"Yeah I do like it! You gotta give me that recipe" You take a few steps back again, licking your lips softly. That was really tasty.

"Is that an order, Guard?" He asks, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel and turning to face you. The tension in the room is suddenly different, heated, you don't know what he's getting at but it's best to put a cork in it, now.

"No?" You question. "Now get back to work" .

"That was an order" You tease.

His chuckle rings in your ears for a moment, you really do have a strange relationship with him.

🕒

Its not unusual to play favorites in a place like this but you and Crowder became..close. It's been a month now for you in Kentucky's Tramble Penitentiary. Everytime you interact with Boyd you laugh, you smile, he smiles, it really feels like you starting to develop a crush. Which is bad. Biggest rule in the game. Don't fuck the inmates. Ever. Cooking duty for him means you can always watch him fix up something nice for the other inmates. He really always takes his time, he always makes it great.

Up until today.

"God! Fuckin' damn it!" You hear Boyd curse loudly and when you rush to the kitchen to take a look you can see blood. Your hand moves to your taser.

"Easy! Didn't stab nobody, just cut myself, the fucking cucumber slipped off the board." He holds his fingers and you can see blood slowly running down his hand and arm. Luckily you have some mild medical training.

You radio in the incident and your current Boss gives the clear, your allowed to take care of the injury and put someone else on cooking duty.

You swap out inmates and a coworker takes over the Observation while you take Crowder to the small medicial room at the end of the hallway. A own room for minor things so they don't all end up clogging up the only Hospital wing in the entire prison.

But you've never been in this area or this room before and suddenly it dawns on you, you are new and your alone here with a prisoner known for Manipulation tactics. The fear becomes reality when you finally take a closer look at his injury. No way in hell was that an accidental cut, the placement is way off.

"What's the plan Boyd? Jump me. Take my keycard, my taser, make your way out the back?" You huff.

You hope you are wrong but when he starts to chuckle you can feel your stomach turn.

"No darlin' not quite." He points out.

"God and here I was thinking you weren't like the other's" your hand reaches for your Radio again to call it in when he's suddenly a few steps too close.

"It ain't like that" Boyd takes another step closer.

"Come one now, you need me to spell it out for you?" His voice...his smile.. he's...- is he trying to seduce you?!

"What? Yes. I think you do" your hand leaves off the radio.

"We have been dancin' around reach other for a month now, as nice of a dance as it was, you wanna leap off that stage now don't you? See the Real Deal." He suggests.

You can't help but to burst into a soft laughter "You think I want to sleep with you???" You shake your head and turn away from him, grabbing some rubbing alcohol and a Band aid for his self inflicted dumb cut.

"I don't just think so, I know so" He points out. Stepping behind you while you gather the supplies.

"Your crazy. I really underestimated your Level of crazy. Now give me that hand and then I'll take you back to your cell" You chuckle again. Staring at him when you turn around and he holds up the cut in his hand. Your hands tremble while you pour the alcohol onto a cottonball. Taking his hand into yours, cleaning the cut and then the rest of the blood from his hand and arm. His fingers, his breathing.. He takes another step forward and you take one back. Feeling the wall against your back, shaky hands trying to hold still while you slap the band aid onto his wound. Once that's done his hand closes around yours.

"You mean it? I've been imagining things... you don't want me?" He tries to confirm that he actually might have been wrong about you.

But you can't help it, you let his hand take yours.

Your hesitation speaks volumes.

Your hand presses against his chest, but he leans in to kiss you anyways. His lips are so gentle, so careful, he's not aggressive or demanding. It's almost sweet if you don't think about the fact that this could get you fired and that having a crush or fling with him won't work. Because at the end of the day he's in here and you are out there.

You break the soft kiss with a sigh.

"No..- I don't want to sleep with you, now take a step back Crowder" You raise your shoulders, making yourself a bit taller.

He nods. And he does.

"Apparently im off my game, it's been a while" He frowns. "I deeply apologize." He keeps his head down for a moment.

He genuinely seems sad. As if he can't believe he made such a mistake.

"Your not off your game." You finally say. "Imma have to get a uh, a transfer I think, to another ward, having feelings for an inmate is unacceptable."

His head lifts up slowly.

"Here I was thinkin' all these little things were signs you wanted my flesh. But it aint just that huh?" The smile on his face makes you roll your eyes. "You like me" He grins. "Shut up" You groan.

"As in, a little crush! Or a big crush? Good Lord! Are you in love with me?!" Now he's just being mean.

"I said shut up!" You chuckle.

And then he hugs you.

You expected everything but that...

His arms around you feel so strangely comforting, you know this is wrong, you read his charges, you know very well why he's in here and yet here you are, in his damn arms. Your hands are hesitant, but slowly you stroke your palm over his back and your other holds onto his upper arm, where you feel the scar tissue underneath your finger tips.

"Why did you never tell who did this to you?" You ask, hand soothing over the uneven skin. It's a really bad burn scar, thick and leathery almost in it's texture.

He slowly lets go of your frame, placing his palm onto your face. "Cause I did that myself." He tugs a piece of your hair behind your ear before his lips place a kiss onto your head. "They woulda thrown me into isolation for it, marked me up as a danger to myself, couldn't risk that...-" He adds. Taking a step back then.

"Why did you do it? Apart from the obvious.." your skin feels on fire, you want more, your lips are dying for a kiss that takes your breath away and your hands are aching for a body to cling to.

"Form of self punishment, I guess." Incredible how sane and yet insane such a Statement sounds, you kind of understand. Pointing to his hand "And you did that to sleep with me?" You huff. It's a strange way to go about things, that's for sure.

"Well, had to get you alone somehow didn't I?" His face changes when he looks at you a little while longer, taking a deep breath. "But I gotta admit, this was quite the suprise, might be even been better than a simple, fleeting, lustful exchange. I deeply honor that you.. care about a man such as myself." He likes it, he wouldn't have it any other way actually.

"Doesn't matter much does it? Not like there is anything to be build here" The alarm starts blasting which means Lunch is over and it's back to the cells.

He missed Lunch for you.

You take a hold of his shoulder to walk him back to his cell, his cellmate not being there yet you step inside for a second.

"Don't request a transfer.." He whispers. "Seeing your face every day for the last month while cooking has been the happiest I have been in a while, don't take that from me, please." He seems really sincere.

You nod "Okay." Then you leave his cell.

Fuck, you can't believe you have a crush and that he kissed you, and that he hugged you, hell he even knicked himself with that knife to get to be alone with you and then also asked to not stop seeing you everyday.

Falling for an inmate was not on your list, especially not THE Boyd Crowder.

🕔

Fights happen very very often in tight spaces like these with a bunch of criminals. Unfortunately Crowder was in the room where it happend, which means by the damn book, strip search. Someone could be hiding a self made knive, razorblade glued to a toothbrush..hide drugs.. anything.

"Crowder. Room 3." The guard yells, FUCK. You were hoping he'd be called to a different room, you change your gloves from the last inmates search, leaning against the medical shelf when he steps inside. The instant smirk on his face makes you flush Red.

"Well ain't that somethin' , guess it's your lucky day" He closes the door and takes off his shoes. Not his first strip and not your first search but.. this is pretty damn intimate. Even if you try to not treat it that way, you like him, and he knows you like him, and now you get to do a body search on him? It might really be your lucky damn day.

"Hey now! Im a pro" You wiggle your gloved fingers.

"I bet you are darlin' " He steps closer, opening the buttons on his orange prison jumper. The reveal of his chest and his shoulders is already pretty nice to see but when he drops it lower and you get to see his abs and his hips and his V line it's starting to get steamy in the room. He Strips the jumper and stands in his white boxershorts.

"Don't you worry now, I think I'd be quite alright with a bit of touching" He clicks his tongue, taking off his boxers. And Jesus christ. Seems like Boyd Crowder isn't just all talk, he really got the package to back it up. Good for him!

"You are staring" He comments.

"No! What? Im not! Turn around" You huff, watching him turn around and place his hands against the wall. Fuck, this shouldn't be so damn hot.

"Bend uh, bend over...you know how this goes come on Boyd" You sigh.

His chuckle makes your head spin, you really didn't think this would happen today. But you got a job to do, it's not like you don't trust him but .. you have to do this right?

You take a deep breath before you step behind him, patting down his hair first, armpits, his hips, people get creative. Some even hide blades in their own damn skin. When your hands move to his pretty nice butt you hesitate.

"Oh come on now sweetheart. Ain't my first rodeo. Let's go" He huffs. You nod. Taking the lube from the medical cabinet, you hands spread his buttcheeks apart, when you don't see or feel anything it's time for the uncomfortable finger. You apply enough lube and with a soothing hand on his hip you gently push a finger inside of him.

You don't take him for the type to shove drugs up his damn ass but this is simply part of the job. Of course you don't feel anything so you move to take your finger away again but then he..moans.

A long deep right out of his lungs kind of moan.

You move your finger slowly again in the same motion and his body tightens. "You uh, you okay?" You ask.

He nods. Which is not a yes and not no to you.

"Bit sensitive are we Crowder?" You ask and you could swear to god that he pushes back against your hand. "I think I have to be really thorough here." You slowly push a second finger inside of him.

"Fuck...-" He moans deeply.

"I'm so sorry!" You panic a bit.

"No your fine..- just god please don't stop".

"Don't stop what? That?" You move your fingers the way you did before again and again..- getting a bit deeper each time. His head is resting on the arm that's holding him against the wall, you can tell he's breathing faster, his skin is flush. Someone likes a bit of a prostate massage.. Interesting.

Boyd's breathing sounds so insanely erotic, you never heard a man make these noises before.

His other hand spreads him open a bit, watching your fingers move in and out of him. You never thought you'd be into that but? The way he sounds so broken by how good it feels? The fact that it makes him feel so good makes you feel good in return. That's all that matters right?

You step closer to him, placing a gentle kiss onto his back while your free hand reaches around him. Stroking over his Rock hard cock.

"Good lord, Ain't that some kind of abuse of Power?" He comments but he likes it, he could easily make you stop if he wanted to. Looking at you with big desperate beautiful eyes.

"You wanna file a complaint?" You kiss his shoulder and his back again. His hips starting to meet your pace is incredible.

"Phew aren't you all wound up, how long has it been Boyd? Since you felt a womans touch? Soft lips against your skin, delicate hand around your cock?" You whisper and it feels as if he's crumbling at your words. All desperate and defeated. That certainly is a new look for Boyd Crowder.

"Too long way too long" He breathes out.

"Am I doing a good job?" You ask hopeful.

"The best..." his voice is dripping with something sweet, he sounds so thankful.

When you push your fingers into him harder you can feel his hips shiver. He likes it a little rough too apparently.

You keep the stronger pace of your fingers, hand stroking his cock in the same motion.

The orgasm you get to witness is stunning, breathtaking. He tries to swallow his moans but his body clenches around your fingers and his cock throbs in your hand while rows of cum spray the wall in front of him. It's easy to tell without a vocal Orchestra that he really enjoyed himself. Carefully letting go of him and taking your gloves off.

"God damn Baby." He chuckles when he turns around.

He picks up his clothes and gets dressed again fairly quickly, closing the buttons on his prison jumper. He even has the damn courtesy of taking some paper towels and cleaning up the mess he made, tossing them and washing his hands before he looks at you.

"You really have me question what we are here..." He tilts his head and you can still see the remains of a blush on his skin.

"I've never done this before, all these other guys they are so...uptight, uncomfortable, and then you come along moaning around" You huff.

"Which I never done before either!! No other guard has ever gotten me like this, I think it's more of the person, the person being a woman I rather fancy" He smirks a bit. "I bet any touch of yours would make me sing such tunes darlin' " God the charisma of this man is teeth rotting sweet.

"Your ridiculous" You comment, but you should move on now, you don't want people to question why this is taking so long.

"Ridiculousy smitten, correct." He nods.

"Go now, smitten or not this is still a crime" You nod towards the door but instead of him going both of his hands take your face. Kissing you slow and sweet before he has to let go. "Might get myself into some more trouble if that means I get to be seein' you" he winks before he opens the door.

He's such an idiot but...god you too are pretty damn smitten.

💞🕒💞🕒💞🕒💞

To be continued...

Hey thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. And I hope you are excited for more !

Tags:

@justme12200 @cat-shepard @megangovier

@ivyinthesun @catclaw12

If I wrongly tagged someone or forgot someone im super sorry !!! I gotta start making a damn list hahaha.

#walton goggins #boyd crowder #justified #justified city primeval #boyd crowder x female reader #boyd crowder x reader #cooper howard #the ghoul #fallout #lee russell #vice principals #part 1

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kykyonthemoon · 3 days

Text

Behind him

Behind him was everything you had ever known.

ಇ. Caleb x F!Reader/MC

ಇ. Tags & warnings: angst with a little fluff, major character death, mention of Chapter 4, hurt no comfort in the end, motorbike riding.

ಇ. Word count: 1k

ಇ. Based on a request by Wytchie Pie

ಇ. Masterlist ♡ Request a fic

Behind him was everything you had ever known.

You grew up under his care and protection. Every time something happened, you would always look for his mighty back first, as if this was a habit. That was something he had taught you since you were little.

For, on the first day of school, you were bullied by older kids. They pulled your hair and mocked your bewildered appearance. You were about to throw a punch that would destroy their already loose front teeth, when he arrived out of nowhere. He spread his arms wide, covering you behind his back.

“Don't mess with my sister!”

He declared loudly as you attempted to draw him away. “I can handle them, Caleb!”

As a result, that day, Caleb suffered a nosebleed, while the other children had broken teeth and some had swollen faces.

You were safe and sound. Caleb had shielded you like a wall that never swayed.

Caleb grew up fast, so when other children saw him as greater than them, they were afraid and stayed away. They dared not to make trouble with you since they knew you were his adoptive sister. Perhaps you had noticed his back and how it would cast a shadow on you as you went home together.

He would constantly stroll ahead of you in busy areas. But he never abandoned you. He would hold your hand and make use of his shoulder to cut through the crowds to secure a place for you. If you got lost, fear not, simply look around and you would see his towering figure amid the crowd, anxious and hurrying toward you. When your legs weary, he would lift you onto his enormous back and carry you. When you were disrespectful and made Grandma furious, he would hide you and take all the blame on himself. Just seeing his back, holding his hand, and you were home.

You adored Caleb's back, when it was soaked in sweat on hot days as he took you to school on a little bicycle. You adored Caleb's back on sudden rainy days, when he would tell you:

“Pip-squeak, hide behind me. You won't get wet in the rain.”

And you would obediently crouch behind his back, entrusting him to keep you safe from every raindrop and every wind. Caleb never complained, but rather seemed proud when you relied on him.

Rainy days, sunny days, every day was peaceful when you were behind him.

Then, he left home to the academy, and your days in high school stretched so long. On the day you graduated, he suddenly appeared at the school gate on a brand new black motorbike. He drew all the admiring eyes of the students, while you were both surprised and embarrassed to catch his words, out loud:

"Congratulations on your graduation, pip-squeak!"

He must have purposefully pronounced those tiny syllables, pip-squeak, aloud and then grinned warmly at you. You rushed to his side.

"Get on."

"Where are we going?"

Caleb placed a helmet on your head and said, "Just get on and you'll see."

Sitting at the back of his motorbike, the wind blew your hair and your uniform skirt. Yet simply by sheltering behind Caleb's sturdy back, the world seemed to slow down, the sunshine was brighter and the breeze became much kinder.

Caleb took you out of town into the outlying areas to view the sights. Sunset dropped on his back on the hill where wildflowers danced in the wind. You sat back to back with him, head tilted and rested on his shoulder.

“When did you buy the motorbike?” You asked. Before making any major decision, he would at least inform Grandma and you first. However, this was kept concealed.

"Yesterday." Caleb replied, smiling. “And I rode it back here to pick you up.”

"What?" You were astonished. “You rode it all the way back here from Skyhaven?”

"Yup. Do you like it?"

You got up and turned to look at him. "I do."

Caleb also turned to look at you. “Then every time I have a break, I'll come back and take you out, okay?”

Since then, you started to be more interested in motorbikes. Caleb's important missions prevented him from returning home frequently, while you were accepted into the Hunter training program and had your trips delayed over and over again. Nonetheless, you still counted every single day to holidays, when Caleb would take you out on his motorbike again.

When you became an official Hunter, you chose a motorbike as your personal means of transportation. You enjoyed driving at fast speeds across long distances. You appreciated how the wind whispered in your ears memories of sitting on the back of Caleb's, having his back defend you. Now that you had grown up, you could let him stay behind you. You could protect him.

Even though you kept insisting, "I'm not a kid anymore!" you would like sitting behind Caleb and being pampered and protected in that way. You could put your arms around him, rub your face against the back that smelled of wind and grass where he preferred to lie down, and whisper: "If only I could stay like this for the rest of my life!"

The last time you saw that back was on a bright sunny afternoon.

He entered the house, and never left again.

* *

You clutched the necklace you had given him years ago. So tight that it left a mark on your palm. Your tears flowed, soaking the pillow on the hospital bed. Powerless. Hopeless. You stared up at the dark room ceiling.

One hand reached up high, as if to keep him back.

Come back, Caleb!

Don't go in there!

Wait for me!

Just a little… Slow down a little…

Please…

But Caleb did not listen to you. He could not hear you. He grinned and opened the door to death. The crimson flames engulfed him, taking away from you the back that had always shielded you throughout his existence.

And then, you were all alone, forever left behind him.

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waynes-multiverse · 2 days

Text

Polaris – Chapter 7

Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, serial killer, mentions of cartels, grief, smut

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: The chapter where we find out why Ted is on Beau's punch list aka The One With Ted... 😂

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List

Chapter 7: Storm Coming

May 2021

“I sold the house,” you said, your voice ripping through the quiet of the car during another starry stake-out night.

“So you’re homeless now?” Beau joked and peeled his eyes away from the front window view and glanced at you from the driver’s seat, his hand resting on the steering wheel, the other one in his lap.

You chuckled. “Yup, but I got a hot plate now in my motel room and one of those Italian moka pots. So, you know, some would say I’m living the dream.”

Beau snorted in amusement before he pensively rubbed his mouth with two fingers. “You didn’t have to sell the house, you know?”

You heaved a sigh. “Yeah, I kinda did, though… I didn’t like staying in there anymore. It’s just… too many memories, I guess? ‘Sides, I’m always down here anyways. Actually considering moving here.”

Beau frowned at you, his nose scrunching. “What, to Mexico? Are you nuts? Over my dead body are you doin’ that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had a say in it,” you retorted rather playfully and put a shocked palm on your chest in mock.

“Damn right, I do,” Beau scoffed his reply with a teasing grin. “Who do you think is lookin’ out for ya, huh?”

“Wait, you think you are? That’s what you believe?” You snorted a laugh, entering banter territory with him.

It was usually how you passed your time during most of these stake-outs – laughing, teasing, and the occasional talking about your problems. You’d never known Beau like this before. He was your husband’s best friend, but he had been more of an acquaintance to you. Now, after months of spending close to every day together, it felt like he was your best friend. Since Randy’s death, he’d been there for you, even if it was mostly out of guilt.

“Yeah, what d’you think?” Beau countered challengingly.

“Oh sweetie, you’re not looking after me. I’m looking after you,” you stated confidently. The smile that twitched on his lips seemed to actually agree with you. “Out of the two of us, you’re the way bigger wreck. Some would even think it’s your husband who died, not mine.”

“Are you calling me a girl?”

You coolly shrugged your shoulders. “Either I’m calling you a girl, or I’m calling you gay. I’ll let you pick.”

Laughingly, Beau scoffed and muttered, “You wish I was gay.”

However, you still heard his mumbled reply and responded, “Actually, I wish you were a girl and that I was gay.”

Beau stared at you and leaned back against the door for a better view of you, his brow raised and the corners of his lips drawn slightly upwards in amusement. “What are we even talking about?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted with a shake of your head.

The two of you then burst into loud laughter that filled the entire SUV. For a moment, all your sorrows and hardships seemed to be forgotten, carried away to the desert with the nightly breeze. Then, the familiar and comfortable quiet took over the car again.

“I’m moving out of the house, too,” Beau said, his eyes focusing on the barren landscape and desolate road ahead. “I’m giving it to Carla. I mean, she didn’t ask me to. God knows she can take care of herself… But I want Emily to keep living in the home she grew up in, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that. That’s really nice,” you said quietly. Your soft smile then morphed to a grin. “So you’re homeless, too, huh?”

Beau laughed, throwing his head back into the seat. “Yeah, guess I am. Maybe we should live together?” he suggested half-jokingly.

“Like roommates? Ugh, God no!” You scoffed in abhorrence. “We’re way too old for that. You’re over forty, I’m barely in my thirties–”

“You do know I know exactly how old you really are, right?” Beau teased.

You decided to ignore that jab and continued, unbothered. “It would be seriously so sad. The Widow And The Divorcee – sounds like the worst sitcom on the planet. ‘Sides, it’d be super awkward if one of us starts dating again.”

“Fine, maybe you’re right,” Beau relented with a soft chuckle and then glanced at you sideways. His heart gained speed in his chest. “You ever think about it? Dating? Gettin’ out there again? Been nine months.”

You twitched your shoulders, choosing not to look at him. “I don’t know. Is nine months long enough after your husband died?”

Thoughtfully, Beau licked his lips and let out a small sigh. “I don’t think there’s a timeline, or a right and wrong. I just think it’s one of those things that when you’re ready, you’re ready.”  “Well, consider me not ready then, I guess,” you replied honestly.

“Alright,” Beau accepted, bobbing his head. “But I still think you should try again at some point, you know? You shouldn’t be alone for the rest of your life. First of all, it’d be a total waste, ‘cause, I mean, look at you. And secondly, you’re barely in your thirties, after all,” he repeated your earlier joke with a soft grin.

You felt the heat creep to your cheeks in the moonlight. As you looked at him, you could see his smirk, making you laugh. “Noted,” you replied and were thankful for his pep talk. “I mean, there’ve been offers.”

Beau quirked one eyebrow, a hard lump forming in his throat as his chest tightened. “Offers? Like plural? Who?”

“Well, just some of the guys from our team. Cody, Jordan, Ted…” you named a few. “Also a few locals. Remember those guys we played pool with a few weeks ago? Two of ‘em asked for my number.”

“Huh. That is plural…” Beau pursed his lips and couldn’t keep his brow from wrinkling, his grip on the steering wheel stiffening. “Well, you know, when you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Shouldn’t force anything. No rush, darlin’.”

Smooth, Beau thought wryly with an internal sigh.

“Right, I know,” you agreed. “I do miss sex, though. Getting kinda bored of my vibrator.”

Beau choked on his spit. “Jesus…”

“What? Am I not allowed to talk about it? I thought we were friends. You’re supposed to care about my well-being and happiness,” you argued, frowning.

“I do care. Just… Can we please not talk about that?” he begged and exhaled a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his freckled nose.

“Fine. I miss having women around…” You shrugged and muttered, “Didn’t peg you for a prude.”

“Okay, let’s just get one thing straight – I’m not a prude,” he clarified in defense, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.

“Alright, also noted,” you quipped, smirking to yourself. Sometimes you enjoyed making him a little uncomfortable. His blushed cheeks could be quite cute. “What about you? Have you still not talked to Carla? I’m sure you can win her back if you tried. You’re a lot better now.”

“Well, thank you for the, uh, vote of confidence, but it’s really over, I guess. We just talked about all the divorce proceedings last time. I actually think she started datin’ someone recently,” Beau told you.

Your eyebrows rose in surprise. “Really? Who?”

“I guess some rich tech guy. I don’t know…”

“And you’re good with that?” you questioned in disbelief.

Beau scoffed a humorless chuckle, shaking his head. “Ha, no… But what am I gonna do? Kinda shot myself in the leg with that one. I don’t blame her for moving on. It’s been over for months now.”

“That sucks. I’m sorry. I was kinda rooting for you two,” you admitted.

“Well, thanks, but we weren’t you and Randy,” Beau said. It made your brow knit.

“What d’you mean?”

“C’mon, you know what I mean,” Beau replied as if it were obvious, but you still shook your head. He sighed. “You and Randy would’ve never gotten divorced.”

“You don’t know that.” Honestly, you doubted it yourself, but you were too curious to find out what he meant by his statement.

“I do know that,” Beau insisted with certainty. “You guys had that once-in-a-lifetime kinda love. The kind that made other people jealous, you know? Your love made every other relationship pale in comparison. I always figured once the honeymoon phase was over, you’d settle and be less vomit-inducing, but that never happened. Me and Carla were never like that. Not even in the beginning,” he explained, a small, soft smile shaping his mouth. “You guys were special. True love. The stuff folk singers write cheesy songs about.”

“I guess we were,” you mused quietly, the memory of everything Randy was to you causing tears to well in your eyes.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Beau apologized as soon as he noticed the sadness on your face. He reached his hand over to your side and squeezed your thigh gently, just above the knee.

“No, it’s alright,” you brushed him off, swallowing your heartache down. “But hey, if Carla wasn’t your once-in-a-lifetime, maybe she’s still out there. You just haven’t found her yet. I mean, that’s kinda a nice outlook, right?”

Licking his lips, he bobbed his head, his gaze focused on his hand on the steering wheel. “I doubt it.”

“Why? Never say never,” you said encouragingly.

“Well, maybe I already met her, and it’s too late now,” he replied. It sounded more like an actual fact than a hypothetical theory. You found yourself wondering.

“What, did you have like an old college flame? The one that got away?” you teased lightheartedly, but he only grew more serious.

“Somethin’ like that,” he replied vaguely, rubbing his mouth with his fingers.

“Look her up on Facebook. Maybe she’s divorced, too. You could reconnect or something,” you suggested. He nodded but didn’t seem too convinced. You then shot him a hesitant glance from your periphery. “So, now that Carla’s moving on, are you gonna start dating now, too? Jump back into the game?”

“I guess so… Why?” A part of him was curious to hear your response, while another part reminded him that his desired answer was only wishful thinking – and completely insane on top of that.

“That fiery brunette lady at the bar last night seemed really interested in you. Maybe you should hook up with her if she’s there again tomorrow night?” you proposed in earnest.

Wide-eyed, Beau blinked at you in incredulity – like you had lost your goddamn mind. “I’m sorry, what?! Hook up? Who are you right now? Are you tryin’ to set me up?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged simply, not seeing what the big problem was. “Don’t look at me like I’m trying to convince you to get a tramp stamp above your ass with a dirty needle. I’m just trying to be a good wingman… woman. Randy would’ve tried to set you up, right?”

Beau sighed frustratedly. “Yeah, he would’ve,” he admitted in a grumble and then barked, slightly more furious, “But you ain’t him. And I don’t want you to be, so stop it, alright?”

“Geez, I’m sorry. I was just trying to help,” you mumbled defensively and raised your hands in surrender, unsuccessfully hiding your upset over his reaction. He felt guilty when he saw the small pout on your face.

Beau rubbed his forehead before dragging his palm over the rest of his face. “I know. I’m sorry, too,” he said and let out a deep breath through his nose. “I just-… I guess I’m just waiting, okay?”

“Waiting for what?”

Beau squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. For you to be ready, he wanted to say. But he couldn’t very well do that now, could he?

“For Christ’s sake, Y/N…” he breathed exhaustively. That was all he managed to say. With his palm on his mouth, he rested his elbow against the car door, gazing out the window.

“Why are you so upset?” you asked, your brow woven with confusion.

“Switch subjects,” he requested.

It was a phrase the two of you used whenever you didn’t want to talk about something anymore. When someone pushed too much, or the topic got too emotional and you needed a break. The only rule was to always respect the request, so you had no choice but to let it go after that.

“The Texans game sucked last night, huh?”

That elicited a snort from him, and he looked at you with a warm smile. “Yeah, goddamn awful.”

“How many times are you gonna watch those?”

Beau’s question broke your concentration. Your gaze snapped from your laptop screen to his concerned face. You’d been rewatching the victims’ videos for four days straight now, trying to find more clues. Maybe even something that directly led to Diane.

“I keep thinking maybe I’ve missed something,” you mumbled and stared back into the computer, your teeth gnawing on the pen between your lips. “It’s 48 hours each. We have twenty-four victims. I keep watching them sped-up to get through them all, but maybe I should slow ‘em down. I mean, I’ve watched them full-length, normal speed a couple of times before, but maybe I should watch ‘em even slower and really focus, you know? There’s gotta be something there…”

Bobbing his head worriedly, Beau pursed his lips and took a scan of your desk. He counted eight empty cups of coffee and five cans of energy drinks. There were bags under your red eyes and your hands were jittering. He knew you hadn’t slept a lot. He tried to hold you in his arms, but as soon as he dozed off, you snuck out and went back to work.

Beau shut the laptop. “You’re cut off.”

“Hey!”

“Y/N, you need to sleep. Just look at you, darlin’. This obsession isn’t healthy. I’m taking you home,” he declared sternly, ignoring your protests. You were pretty sure he had used his dad voice, too.

“I need that woman in prison, Beau.”

“You startin’ to sound like Jenny…” Beau quipped under his breath.

“We’re running out of time. There’s only one day left before the next victim drops,” you stated and tried your best to keep your voice steady as it broke off towards the end.

“I know.” Beau clasped your shoulder and squeezed gently. “And we’ll get her. I promise you. But you’re no good to any of us if you’re exhausted and losing it right now.” You nodded and rose from your chair. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you flush against him, kissing the top of your head affectionately. “How about some dinner, huh?”

You grinned warmly. “What, like a second date?”

“Exactly like a second date,” Beau said and mirrored your grin. He was making up for lost time as best as he could, even if it meant taking you out every night for the rest of your life.

Your phone buzzed on the table, your brow quirking at the number. Eagerly, you picked up and wound yourself out of Beau’s embrace. “Special Agent Y/L/N… Uh-huh… Great, thank you.”

Beau pursed his lips. “We’re not going out, are we?”

“‘fraid not, Sheriff.” You shook your head and chuckled at his groan. “That was IT. They’re finally done and sending over the IP addresses.”

“Alright, guess I’m gettin’ take out,” Beau announced with a small sigh, knowing the two of you were in for a long night – and not the one he had planned.

You smiled and pecked his lips. “Thank you.”

August 2020

Beau’s heart thudded frantically in his chest as his knuckles tapped your front door in the early evening. The sky was a color spectacle full of azures, indigos, and apricots as the summer sun slowly set. His boots only stood on that same spot not even twenty-four hours ago. It still felt like a surreal nightmare he couldn’t escape, his hope to wake up soon a ceaseless prayer.

He’d stayed with you all night, held you as you cried yourself to sleep. Beau awoke on your couch with your head resting on his thigh and a strange feeling in his gut. He couldn’t help but think you were beautiful, even in a state of utter turmoil, shoving said thought swiftly down into the depths of his darkening soul.

But he’d spent all day thinking of you, plagued by guilt and torn by misplaced feelings. He’d sat through hours of interviews, going over and over the events of last night till his mind spun like a hamster wheel. He was forced to fill out forms, sign documents, and recount each unforgettable step. He’d listened to lectures, sermons, and admonitions. His captain gave him a tongue-lashing that sounded like mere white noise before he was sent home with a suspension – investigation pending.

Only he didn’t go home; he came here.

At home, his wife and daughter were waiting – for a husband, a father, an explanation. None of which he could provide. Beau wanted to wallow in his grief, his guilt, his loss in peace. He lacked the strength to be strong, play pretend, and act above it all. He wanted to be punished, sent to perdition, and held accountable for his lapse of judgment. A suspension wasn’t good enough. It barely patched the abysmal gaps in his heart.

The only suitable punishment was you. Witnessing your suffering was his personally crafted hell. You were the broken remnants of his destruction, the shattered pieces of his idiocy, the explosive fallout of his arrogance.

And you hadn’t answered a single call or text of his. His torturous worry was part of his penalty.

Consecutive rings of the doorbell and incessant knocks remained unanswered. For a moment, Beau rested his forehead on the door. He felt helpless and clueless all the same. You had friends and family to take care of you, probably better suited and closer to you than him, but somehow he felt burdened with the responsibility.

He took the spare key out of the left-side planter and barged inside. The ground floor was deserted. Last night’s uneaten dinner still sat untouched on the table. It felt like a whiplash against his bare back.

Bolting upstairs, he found the door to the main bedroom ajar. He pried it open slowly, the sight of you delivering his second lashing. This time, he felt the sting burning through to his heart.

He found you curled up in bed, on your husband’s side, in your husband’s t-shirt, with your wedding photo album clutched tightly in your arms. His breath halted for a moment; his heart did, too.

Did he do this? Was this all his fault?

“Y/N?” His deep voice was quiet and careful as he spoke. Slowly, he walked over to your side and knelt down in front of you. “Darlin’, hey… You need to get up. Eat somethin’.”

Beau was sure you hadn’t moved all day. He didn’t ask you if you were alright or how you were doing. The question seemed insulting. The answer was obvious. Your phone was lighting up on the nightstand with a million unanswered calls and messages, his own among them. Your beautiful eyes were vacant, red, and empty. You didn’t cry, however, not anymore. You were dehydrated and all out of tears at this point. You never looked at him, not even a glance.

“I want him back,” you whispered, your voice coarse from screaming, crying, cursing.

Beau nodded, licking his lips. Caringly, he caressed your head, brushing a few strands of messy hair out of your face. “I know. I hope you know I’d trade places with him in a heartbeat if I could.”

For the first time your eyes found his. Your gaze was scathing and piercing. “Tell me what happened.”

Beau let out a harrowing sigh. He had rehashed the story all day long. He wasn’t sure if he could do it again, but maybe this version was the most important one. Who deserved the truth more than you?

“Y/N, I don’t think this is such a good idea, darlin’,” Beau tried to reason, mostly for himself. He wanted to hold on a little longer, the idea of you hating him tearing him apart. He wanted to spare himself the additional guilt, the anger, the hurt.

“Tell me or leave.”

Beau closed his eyes and nodded hesitantly. “Okay, alright.” He took a deep breath and settled down on the floor, leaning his back against the wooden bedside table. “We were closing in on that biker gang. Few murders, arms trafficking, drug deals… You know the drill. I’m sure Ra-… he filled you in.”

Not that long ago, Randy had asked you for advise on the case. You gave him your contacts in the DEA and a number to a CI.

“Your DEA guy warned us. Said the gang was working closely with the cartel down in Juárez. But I had my own intel that only a few members were meeting at the Hatcher warehouse in MacGregor. It was supposed to be a small deal. But I figured it could lead to bigger things if we shook ‘em down, you know? But fuckin’ Harper told us no like usual. Refused to give us back-up. Said to pass the case on to the DEA. But Randy and I worked our asses off the last few months to get even this far. We were so close. I didn’t wanna let go… So, I suggested we go in anyways. It was supposed to be only three guys from the gang. I knew if we were smart about it, we could easily take ‘em down, you know?”

You rolled onto your back and propped yourself up on the bed. Shaking your head, you chuckled humorlessly and grabbed the half-empty whiskey bottle from the nightstand. “‘Course you did. It’s not the first time you broke a rule or shit on authority.”

“Yeah, and I was right every single time,” Beau bit. His anger wasn’t geared at you but at himself. He knew he was in the wrong. He flew too close to the sun and got burned. But he still felt the need to defend himself, even if it was unjustified.

His gaze drifted to the dresser and the patch of wall above it, decorated with photographic evidence of yours and his partner’s life together. The wedding, dates, vacations, holidays – it was all there. Beau had watched it all, start to finish. He wished he could rewind the tape and cut off the ending, all so you could have the love of your life back. He didn’t know yet your cassette had a B-side. One that featured him.

“You got fucking lucky, is all,” you scoffed.

“Randy backed me up on it!”

“Of course he did! You’re his fucking partner! He would’ve followed you anywhere if you asked him to,” you snapped, shaking your head. You gulped down some whiskey then and locked your jaw before you met his eyes again with a glare. “And? What happened then, Beau? Was it only three guys?”

“No.” The word was almost inaudible. He shook his head with a harsh swallow. “They were meetin’ with a few cartel members there. My intel never said anything about that. When we were inside and saw what was really going on, it was already too late to get out. They made us, bullets started flyin’… They got a hold of Randy and… shot him.” A tear escaped down his cheek, his throat closing as he tried to choke out the last bit of the story. “I had to leave him there. I barely got out myself. I’m sorry, Y/N. I know this is on me.”

Your lips twitched with a bitter smile. You didn’t look at him, just rubbed your tired eyes. “Damn right it is. Get out.”

“Y/N, please–”

The storm in your eyes made him stop as you met his gaze, his useless apologies becoming stuck in his throat. “I said, get out. I ain’t asking a third time. You’re the reason my husband is dead. You’re the reason I don’t even have a body to bury. So, get the fuck out.” Like a snakebite, your words were targeted, sharp, and venomous.

You finally got out of bed and prodded towards the en-suite bathroom. The truth had been what you needed to switch the fighter inside of you back on. You knew what you wanted to do then and were determined to get it.

“Y/N–”

“Do you know what cartels do to bodies, Beau? To rivals? To law enforcement? ‘Cause I just came back from a job where we found forty-eight decapitated bodies, left to rot inside the walls of a house. Still haven’t found the heads yet. Probably never will,” you told him and stared him dead into his dark green eyes. “Ever seen that before, desperado?”

Beau bit his lips, averting his gaze. “No.”

“Yeah, didn’t think so.” You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “Now, leave. Please. Get the fuck outta my house. I don’t wanna see you anymore,” you spat and slammed the bathroom door shut behind you.

Beau then grabbed the whiskey bottle you’d left and walked out of your home. It was the first of many nights he started to drink himself to sleep, but at least it kept the nightmares temporarily at bay.

“Theodore.” Beau forced a bright smile onto his freckle-dusted face, although the stiff features could barely fool anyone. At least, they wouldn’t have fooled you.

“Beau, good to see you again.” Ted smiled and did a more convincing job of it as he waltzed into Lewis and Clark County’s Sheriff’s Department. It almost seemed like he meant it. “I was surprised when Y/N told me you got a gig as a sheriff here.”

Translation: I was surprised because you were such a fuck-up back in Texas.

Beau feigned a chuckle. “Yeah, I bet you were.”

“Hopefully, you’re givin’ the DAs here less headaches,” Ted jabbed under the disguise of friendly banter. He then turned to Jenny with that same shit-eating grin. “Your sheriff is a little troublemaker.”

Sweet Lord, Beau wanted to whack the bastard.

The blonde deputy coolly brushed the accusation off. She shrugged and playfully nudged Beau’s arm, sending the Texan attorney a smile. “I prefer him that way.”

“Hey, there she is!” Beau smiled with frazzled relief when you finally hurried into the station. A little while longer, and he definitely would’ve thrown a punch.

“Hey, Ted. Thanks for coming. How was your flight?” You greeted him with a warm smile and a quick hug.

“Good, good. Never been to Montana before,” Ted said and then let his eyes wander up and down your body. “Look at you. You look great!”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” You subtly cleared your throat. You could physically feel Beau stiffen next to you. In your periphery, you could spy a tightly clenched jaw and a few strained muscles in his neck.

“Mind if Y/N and I borrow your office, Sheriff Arlen?” Ted asked and emphasized his title. “Considering the nature of this case, I’d like to keep it as private as possible. Don’t want anything to reach Ms. Newton’s ears.”

Your hunch had been right. Several IP addresses pointed to Diane, some to public Wi-Fi’s. You and the team still needed to connect her to the other states and find out where she’d been staying there, but you could definitely trace some posts in recent weeks to her home in Montana. It was enough for an arrest warrant, but you still needed more evidence.

Additionally, it had all come together a little too easily. It seemed like a giant trap you were walking into. Diane wanted to be caught. But why?

“Why don’t I just join you? I’m sure Y/N here doesn’t mind,” Beau suggested with a tight smile and then snaked his arm around your middle, pulling you closer. “Ain’t that right, darlin’?”

Internally, you sighed a little at his obvious territorial pissing, but you were willing to throw him a bone. You stretched up and claimed his plump lips in a fervent kiss that Beau only all too happily reciprocated.

“Not at all, Sheriff. You know I always appreciate your input,” you replied with a dirty smirk at the double entendre.

As Beau looked down at you, he mouthed ‘God, I love you.’ You grinned in response.

“Happy to give it to you,” he said with another sweet peck of your lips. A triumphant and slightly cocky grin graced his lips as he looked back at Ted.

“Oh, so you two are back together?” Ted realized, his brow rising to his hairline. He’d never seen you two together but certainly had heard the whispers down in Mexico from your old task force. He’d been the DA for those cases as well. You’d never explicitly told him about you and Beau, though, even when he had tried to pry a little on those dates you went on.

“Well, I’m a hard one to quit,” Beau quipped almost proudly, like a peacock showing off his fan of feathers.

“As are cigarettes and many other vices,” Ted shot back with the same stupidly proud grin.

Translation: You’re an ass. And a failure. She deserves so much better. I’m ‘better.’ But maybe that didn't need a translation.

Beau should’ve known it was hard to out-argue a lawyer and ground his jaw. After all, he’d been married to one for many years.

You, on the other hand, shared a wide-eyed and baffled look with Jenny that bordered on amusement. You had almost gasped in shock. You hadn’t expected such a fiery reply, sure the men would stick to their Southern manners. But, oh well, everyone’s packing in fucking Texas…

“Why don’t you two go ahead? I’ll join you in a minute,” you ordered more than you earnestly proposed and shooed the two men down the hallway towards Beau’s office.

“Sure it’s such a good idea to lock those two in a room alone?” Jenny teased, her eyes lingering a little too long on Ted’s perfectly formed ass as he sauntered down the hall.

You couldn’t blame her. You had checked out Beau’s in the same breath.

“It’s only for a short time. They’re not gonna kill each other,” you laughed it off. Jenny arched a doubtful eyebrow at you. “That quickly,” you added a correction. “So, what did I miss here?” you asked and nodded towards the two men, closing the door to Beau’s office behind them. All you heard last was them talking about the recent Texans game.

Ugh, of course, they’d end up by football…

“Dick measuring contest,” Jenny supplied wryly.

“Ah, figured…”

“Well, better them than to lock Agent Y/L/N and the sheriff into the same room,” Poppernak joked with a soft chuckle as he appeared next to you and Jenny, chiming into the conversation.

You gaped at him in mock-shock. “Mo! I can’t believe you just said that,” you chided playfully.

His cheeks turned crimson red. “I’m sorry, Special Agent Y/L/N,” he apologized in a fluster.

“Mo, I told you to call me by my first name,” you reminded him with a smile. “Or I’m gonna have to start giving you silly names like Beau does.”

“Oh, I love Sheriff Arlen’s nicknames,” he quickly defended with a nervous laugh.

“Do you?” Jenny tilted her head with a questioning eyebrow.

He shrugged. “They’re clever.”

August 2020

“Old Fashioned,” you ordered with a look at the bartender, feeling Beau’s confused eyes and crinkled brow wander up to you. “Couldn’t have picked a nicer bar, huh? This place is a dump. You know that, right?”

Beau clicked his tongue and took a sip from his Ranch Water. “What are you doing here? Thought you never wanted to see me again.”

You let out a small sigh but didn’t meet his gaze. “Carla called me. Your family is worried about you.”

“I didn’t tell her where I was. How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t. Carla said you haven’t been home in three days. Figured you’d gone on a bender. This is the fifth cop bar I checked out. Finally got lucky,” you said and thanked the bartender as he placed his drink in front of you. You settled down on a barstool next to Beau.

“Quite the effort. Sure I’m worth it?”

Your tongue swept over your lips. “Beau, look at me.” His forest-green eyes found yours upon your soft plea. “I’m sorry I put all that shit on you. It wasn’t fair. It’s not your fault, okay? His death isn’t on you. I know you loved him like a brother.”

“I did.” Beau took another sip of his drink. “But it is my fault. I was reckless and arrogant. We both know it.”

“It was a set-up, alright? I talked to my DEA contact. Cody said your intel was wrong. They knew you and Randy were closing in on them. They wanted to get rid of you,” you explained.

Beau smacked his lips. “I still shoulda known better. I should’ve seen it was a trap.”

“Maybe,” you admitted. You couldn’t say you would’ve done the same thing, but you knew Beau would’ve never purposely put Randy in danger if he had even the faintest idea. “But it could’ve happened to anybody. This was bigger than you knew.”

“It wouldn’t have happened to you,” he stated quietly. You couldn’t argue with that. You were more by-the-book than he was. You would’ve never gone against a superior’s order. You would’ve respected it.

“Look, just go home. Talk to your wife. Get some help,” you said. “You missed your suspension hearing, but I spoke on your behalf. Told them it wasn’t your fault. The DEA backed me. Harper’s gonna reinstate you. Just come back as soon as you’re ready.”

Beau nodded slowly. Even if he didn’t say it, you could tell he was thankful for your efforts. “I can’t go home.”

Your brow furrowed. “Why? I’m sure Carla will understand. You need to talk to someone about this. Go to therapy – and not the alcoholic kind. Losing a partner is not something you get over quickly. You need people in your corner, including your wife.”

“You mean the wife that lets criminals out on the street?” Beau’s gaze was focused on the glass in his hands. The wrinkles on your brow deepened. “The guy that shot him… Carla’s his defense attorney. Was, at least. He was supposed to do time, but two months ago, she got him paroled.” With a dark chuckle, he emptied his glass.

“Beau…” You knew he had always struggled with Carla’s job, making you sometimes wonder about their dinner conversations at home. “It ain’t her fault more than it is yours. She’s just doing her job. You know that. You’ve been together for so long, you’d think you’re used to it by now.”

Beau scoffed a chuckle and gestured to the bartender for a refill. “I was a young cop back then. Wasn’t on the job as long. I didn’t know it would bother me so much. Still lived in that hopeful bubble, I guess.”

You smiled knowingly. “You mean the ‘I didn’t think I’d see as much shit and injustice as I do now’ bubble?”

He snickered softly. “Yep, that one. Just didn’t think it’d be this hard, you know?”

“I get it. I mean, me and Carla butt heads all the time over this stuff. But we do it in a competitive fun way and then get drunk,” you said with a light chuckle. “Guess it’s different when you’re married, though, huh?”

“Yeah, it is…” he sighed.

“Still, go home. Talk to her,” you encouraged but could see your words of wisdom fell on deaf ears. “By the way, the funeral’s on Saturday.”

He turned his gaze away from his glass and found your eyes. “You need any help with that?”

“Maybe you can give a eulogy. You knew him best. I think he would’ve really liked that,” you said with a warm smile. No matter your own feelings, you knew deep down Randy would’ve wanted you to forgive his partner.

“Yeah, I can do that. Anything you need, okay?” Beau clasped your hand that laid on the bar counter and squeezed reassuringly before dropping it again.

You smiled appreciatively and teased, “Maybe show up sober. Or at least close-to.”

Beau chuckled a little. “I promise.”

You stood up from your seat then and put some cash for your drink on the counter. “Alright, I’m heading home. You need me to call you a cab?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’m just gonna finish this drink, then I’ll head out, too,” he said.

“You sure? Don’t make me come back here,” you threatened playfully.

Beau laughed softly. “I won’t. Thanks for everything, Y/N. I mean it.”

You sent him a smile and gave his shoulder a squeeze on your way out. “You’re welcome. Get home safe, okay?”

However, Beau couldn’t keep any of his promises. He made it home after three more drinks and woke up on the front lawn of his house. Carla wasn’t happy when she found him in the morning as she brought Emily to school. But Beau couldn’t stop. Every time he closed his eyes, the tragic events flashed before him like a horror movie, witnessing Randy’s death in a never-ending loop. He kept seeing his partner get dragged away, heard the shot over and over again like a rain of bullets without a ceasefire.

The guilt was eating him alive. The guilt of getting his partner into this mess in the first place. Of leaving him behind. Of surviving and coming out alive when he didn’t deserve to.

So, Beau kept drinking to forget, even though he knew it was a futile endeavor. The memory would never fade, but at least it was blurred.

Your heavy breaths echoed through the small trailer. His mouth moved down the column of your throat, leaving a wet path of ravenous love bites in its wake.

“Fuck, baby,” you moaned wantonly, his grip on your flesh punishing as he kept you pressed flush against him while he devoured you on the little dining table. Your ass sat on the wooden surface, your crossed ankles locked tightly behind his muscular back.

“God, you made me so happy today,” he growled against the shell of your ear, his rising length rubbing against your core through layers of denim.

“I can see that.” You giggled, your hands dangling in his hair. “There’s no need to hate him so much, you know?”

“Says you,” Beau quipped and unzipped your jeans, eagerly pulling them off you as his mouth sucked your clavicle purple and blue. “That slimy coyote always had it out for me.”

Beau removed your panties as well, tossing them behind his shoulder where they landed in the kitchen sink. “Whoops.” He grinned charmingly but was unstoppable, freeing his throbbing dick as he shoved his jeans and boxers barely over his ass. He didn’t bother to slip out of them all the way, too impatient to wait any longer to enter you.

“Still, I’m already yours. I’ve always been yours,” you said and braced yourself on his broad shoulders as one large hand on your back pulled you closer to the edge of the table. His other hand grabbed his cock, twisting his fist along the hard, long shaft a few times before he glided his cockhead through your slick folds.

“Not always.” With one harsh thrust, he pushed inside you, your tight walls fighting to make room for him and adjust to his stretch.

You gasped at the pleasurable burn that coursed through your body and ignited every sizzling nerve. He dropped his head to your shoulder, giving both of you some time to get used to each other. You could tell you were in for a wilder ride tonight. You always loved when he fucked you rough and hard. There was something raw and animalistic about the need in his hypnotizing green eyes.

Beau then claimed your lips with one fervent kiss, enough of a spark to cause a wildfire. He met your gaze, hands gingerly cupping your cheeks. “But I love that you’re mine now. And I’m sure as hell gonna make you mine tonight, darlin’.”

You crashed your lips against his, your kisses frenzied and untamed as his hips began to slam into you. His pounds into your pussy were relentless as you swallowed every inch of him. You gripped him tight, already feeling your first orgasm bloom. It accumulated like dark, violent storm clouds on the horizon, forecasting roaring thunder and heavy rainfall.

“Oh God! Fuck, baby!” You screamed as your climax tore through you like a hurricane, your cunt gushing on his cock and pulsing around him. Your nails dug into his shoulder blades and scratched down his back as you came undone.

Beau groaned into your ear, squeezing his eyes shut as he barely held on himself. But he didn’t let up and kept up his furious pace, not ready to stop yet. “Shit, keep doing that. You’re so fucking tight, Y/N,” he grunted against your skin, your sensitive flesh barely withstanding his ruthless pumps. “Want you to come again, darlin’.”

With his declaration, his hand slipped between your sweat-clad bodies. You came close to losing your mind as he thumbed furiously at your clit, the stars already starting to twinkle in front of your eyes. You could feel yourself get shoved to the edge once more, staring down the steep cliffs of white-hot ecstasy.

Your mind was consumed by need, his grip on your hips bruising as you exploded. You cried out raucously, your whole body quaking in his hold upon your eruption, the aftershocks so powerful they could cause cracks in your bones.

Beau spilled his seed deep inside of you, his body stuttering in rhythm with yours as your earthquake took him down with you. Hazy gazes met each other with lazy smiles as ragged breaths mingled.

“Fuck, that was good. I think that one might make it into our Top Ten.” Beau chuckled gravelly and placed a gentle kiss on your temple.

“Hmm, not sure. We have a few greatest hits.” You giggled and bit down on your lower lip with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. “Can I tell you something?”

Beau cupped your cheeks, thumbs caressing the heated and rosy skin as he lifted your gaze. “Anything.”

“Just between us, you’re the best lover I ever had,” you confessed with a wide grin. The corners of his mouth rose to match yours.

“Well, between us, I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. You’re it, darlin’. You know that, right? You’re the love of my life,” Beau revealed, making you smile brighter than you ever had before.

“I’m not sure about the sex, but this moment, right here, is probably gonna make it into the Top Ten,” you said softly as a few tears stung your eyes.

“Good.” Beau smiled and pecked your forehead.

The buzzing of a phone shifted your attention. You recognized it as yours, and Beau was quick to retrieve it from your jeans pocket in the pile of clothes on the floor.

“It’s Jenny,” you told him before picking up. “Hello… What?! Uh-huh, we’ll be right there.”

Beau’s brow furrowed as he watched your features flicker through an array of emotions. “Bad news?”

“Uhm, honestly, I don’t know,” you said and swallowed some of your confusion down, gathering your thoughts. “Jenny said Diane just walked into the station and gave herself up. She is ready to confess but only wants to talk to us.”

“Us? As in us two?” Beau’s eyes narrowed. You nodded. “Well, that doesn’t sound fishy at all,” he commented wryly.

“Yup, I don’t like it.”

Chapter 8: Chemical Bonds – JUNE 26

A lot of revelations and foreboding in this one... 👀 Also, I just love having Beau say the word "coyotes" for some reason 😂

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#polaris #beau arlen #beau arlen x reader #beau arlen series #beau arlen x you #beau arlen reader insert #beau arlen x female reader #beau arlen x y/n #beau arlen imagine #beau arlen fanfiction #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles characters

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moonselune · 3 days

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Hello! I love how you write! congratulations on graduation. I would like to ask if you could write what Shadowheart would be like pregnant with Lae'zel? Lae'zel is all protective of her, taking care of her and also somewhat fearful of her joy and the baby, while they live on the farm or in the Astral plane.

Well goddamn, seems I'm a bitch for shadowzel, oh what a shame

The morning sun bathed the farm in a warm, golden light. Birds chirped merrily, and the scent of fresh earth and blooming flowers filled the air. Shadowheart stood at the edge of their small vegetable garden, gently cradling her growing belly. Her eyes softened as she watched the plants swaying gently in the breeze, each day bringing them closer to the arrival of their child.

Lae'zel was nearby, her eyes never straying far from Shadowheart. Her warrior instincts, once honed for battle, had shifted towards an intense protectiveness for her partner. Every movement, every step Shadowheart took, Lae'zel monitored with a vigilance that was both endearing and a little overwhelming.

"Are you sure you should be out here?" Lae'zel called, her voice tinged with concern as she approached.

Shadowheart smiled, a serene and patient expression on her face. "I'm fine, Lae'zel. Fresh air is good for me and the baby."

Lae'zel's eyes flicked to Shadowheart's belly, her usually stern gaze softening with a mix of awe and fear. She reached out, her hand hesitating before resting gently on Shadowheart's stomach. The baby responded with a gentle kick, and Lae'zel's eyes widened, her tough exterior momentarily cracking.

"Does it hurt?" Lae'zel asked, her voice almost a whisper.

Shadowheart chuckled softly, placing her hand over Lae'zel's. "No, love. It’s just our little one saying hello."

Lae'zel nodded, but the worry in her eyes didn't dissipate. She had faced countless battles, but the prospect of bringing a child into the world and keeping her beloved Shadowheart safe was a different kind of challenge. She took Shadowheart's hand, leading her back towards the farmhouse.

"You should rest more," Lae'zel insisted, her tone brooking no argument.

Shadowheart followed willingly, her heart swelling with love for Lae'zel's fierce protectiveness. Inside, the farmhouse was a picture of rustic charm, with wooden beams and a stone fireplace. Lae'zel guided Shadowheart to a comfortable chair near the hearth and began to fuss over her, adjusting cushions and bringing her a warm cup of herbal tea.

As Shadowheart sipped the tea, Lae'zel knelt beside her, looking up with a mixture of adoration and anxiety. "I fear… I fear that I may not be enough. That I cannot protect you both from all dangers."

Shadowheart reached out, cupping Lae'zel's face in her hands. "You are more than enough, Lae'zel. We are safe here, together. And our child will grow up knowing the strength and love of two incredible mothers."

Lae'zel leaned into Shadowheart's touch, closing her eyes as if drawing strength from her words. "I will always protect you," she vowed, her voice thick with emotion. "Both of you."

Shadowheart smiled, laughing lightly as she leant down to press a tender kiss to Lae'zel's forehead. "I know you will, my fierce warrior."

The days passed with Lae'zel hovering close, her protectiveness becoming almost comical at times. She would insist on carrying even the lightest of objects for Shadowheart, and any hint of discomfort had her in a flurry of activity to make things better. Yet, beneath the surface, there was an undercurrent of fear, fear of losing the joy she had found, fear of not being able to protect her family.

One evening, as they lay together in bed, Shadowheart could feel the tension in Lae'zel's body. She turned to her, their faces close in the dim light. "What troubles you, 'Zel?"

Lae'zel sighed, her hand resting protectively over Shadowheart's belly. "I am not accustomed to this… joy. It feels fragile, like it could be taken away at any moment."

Shadowheart's heart ached at the vulnerability in Lae'zel's voice. "Joy is not something to fear, my love. It is something to cherish, together."

Lae'zel nodded slowly, "Together,"

So wholesome oml, hope you guys enjoy this ! - Seluney xox

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 tav #baldurs gate tav #baldurs gate iii #lae'zel x shadowheart #shadowheart x lae'zel #shadowzel #bg3 lae'zel #lae'zel #frog princess #laehart #lazerhart

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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 days

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hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen

Hey Lovely 💜🖤

I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.

Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.

TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.

I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.

Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.

It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.

On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.

I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.

Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.

And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.

Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.

Some positivity though:

I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.

I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.

And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.

I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.

Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.

#steph replies #about me #my life #chatting with lovelies #triggers under the read more:#depression cw #stress cw #self loathing cw #declining health cw #negativity cw

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oistak · 1 day

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Hi, I was wondering if you could do a Lucifer Morningstar x Reader that's 'Stacy's Mom' inspired, where Reader is Charlie's Friend/ One-sided Crush, but when Charlie invites Reader over to the hotel, at the same time Lucifer visits, they start to fall for 'Charlie's Dad'?

The apple doesn't fall far

omgg i love this idea smm i love your beautiful mind <3

reader x lucifer #cw: none (i think)

~When you first landed in hell, charlie found you. You two were opposites in most ways, she was extroverted and loud, while you were quiet and introverted. She told you everything about her hotel and her plan to redeem sinners, when she talked you could see the enthusiasm in her eyes. When charlie was happy, you were happy. It was like her happiness was contagious, she was fun to be around, but you didn’t think of her any other way.~

Getting out of the cab you walked towards the hotel, carrying large bags from your shopping trip, as you struggled towards the door you could see a brilliant light coming from inside. You set your bags down on the front door step and peeked in from the window. As you peered in you could see a man in the light, he was quite short, but there was still a certain gravitas to him. In front of him stood charlie. The rest of the hotel residents stood around them, so you figured it was okay to go inside.

As you awkwardly shuffled towards the elevator, charlie saw you, “heyy, omggg you've bever met my dad!” she yipped “this is lucifer, dad this is my best frienddd!” charlie bounced around and as your eyes followed her.

charlie had thought you were the one ever since she saw you. everything about you was perfect, you weren't always great but you tried to improve and she knew you could be redeemed, though she dreaded the day.

lucifer was stunned, you looked strikingly similar to lilith, just…shorter. lucifer lightly grasped your hand, you turned as he looked up at you “wow, you are so pretty” he stuttered lightly kissing your hand.

charlie stared at you both while lucifer kissed your hand and could see that everyone else was feeling the same kind of awkwardness. of course you would fall for her dad, just when she thought she found someone who she could care for and love.

Mentally, your jaw was still on the floor, your hand just got kissed by the king of hell, and you finally found someone shorter than you. “hi there, uh- your majesty” you’ve never thought that someone in hell would ever hold your heart but perhaps you were wrong.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

honestly i rlly like the trope that like ''everyone's saying opposites attract but me and my husband are the same person"

#hazbin hotel #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer magne #charlie morningstar #hazbin charlie #morningstar family #charlie #charlie x reader

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coffeekaspbrak · 10 hours

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I think the audience of interview with the vampire often overlooks an element that is so frequently referenced in the actual narrative (especially in season 1 more so), the element of loneliness. I am a human person with a mortal life that could end at any moment and there are still nights that I cannot put to rest how long life will be, how long it already has been, how it seems to stretch endlessly when there’s no one there to hold my hand. I have already lost people that I thought I would know for the rest of my life, I cannot imagine trying to conceptualize an eternity of carrying a loss with you. I struggle to face every day alone with no promise (or even prospect) of a partner. I cannot imagine attempting to imagine eternity with no one to cling to. Time does her trick on and on and on and you cannot die and there is no one to hold you when you sleep, only the eternal memory of hands engulfing your body. I found it hard to unlatch from an abuser knowing my life was finite, knowing if I didn’t move I’d be trapped for what little time I had, stuck there wasting time. But I also thought, what is waiting for me on the other side? Life is also long, who will I have to be with me? Imagine trying to shuck comfort when there is infinite time. There is nothing to be wasted and only cold, unending loneliness waiting for you when you break free. “Life is too short to be with someone who hurts you.” What does that mean when life isn’t short at all? Killing Lestat was a human expression of pain, of reclamation, of life, and of retribution against time lost. Staying with Armand is the vampire instinct of preservation, of comfort, of security, of attempting to bargain with what’s already with you, because what else will you have?

#iwtv #Armand #louis de pointe du lac #lestat #shut up ro

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sequinsmile-x · 2 days

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Even Statues Crumble if They’re Made to Wait - Part 4

She can't stop thinking about the fact she isn't even meant to be here. That she's still supposed to be at home on maternity leave instead of sitting in a church in Colorado wondering if she'd ever see her husband or her little girl again.

A Minimal Loss AU with a Young Hotchniss twist.

Part 4/4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

-x-

Hi friends,

Sorry for the slight delay on this last part. Work has been kicking my ass this week (the return to corporate Vic after Era's Tour Vic was a rough one haha) but I really hope you like this last part of this.

I got an ask on here asking if I'd consider making this a little universe of its own - and it specifically mentioned this version of them going through LoFi/Mayhem and Demonology. Let me know if that's something you'd like to read because I *love* writing young them, and would use the opportunity to do flashbacks to get more detail about their life together.

As always, let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: Injury/canon typical injury

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

September 2004

“I just don’t see it.”

Emily chuckles as she sips her cocktail, the burn of the tequila at the back of her throat satisfying as she shakes her head at Penelope.

“Well, we’ve been married almost 11 years,” she says, smiling as she thinks about her husband, how he was already on his way to pick her up from the bar because he didn’t want her to get a cab home, and she feels her cheeks warm up with her love for him, “So I don’t know what to tell you, Pen.”

Penelope sighs as she shakes her head, resting her chin on her hand as she looks intently at Emily, “You’re just…so different.”

JJ laughs, smiling wryly when they both look over at her, “Trust me, the longer you get to know them, the more it makes sense,” she says, her smile only getting wider when Emily narrows her eyes at her, “What? I was confused as hell when I met you too. I thought Rossi was kidding when he said you were Hotch’s wife.”

Emily rolls her eyes and has another sip of her drink, “David Rossi is prone to exaggerating.”

“Exactly,” JJ says, “So when he told us Hotch’s wife was a spy at Interpol we thought he was lying.”

“I am not-”

“You’re a spy?” Penelope asks, her eyes wide as she looks back and forth between her new friends. She’d suggested this night out to JJ a few days ago, trying to get used to her new job and the people around her, and JJ had in turn suggested inviting Emily. It was only when they got here she realised Emily was her new boss's wife.

“I am not, never have I been, a spy,” Emily says, raising her eyebrow at JJ, unable to stop her smile as she shakes her head before she turns her attention back to Penelope, “I used to work in intelligence gathering at Interpol-”

“Spy.” JJ fakes a cough to cover what she’s saying, her smile wider when Emily carries on as if she hasn’t interrupted her.

“I recently transferred to the FBI in the counterterrorism team.”

Penelope tilts her head curiously, “Not the BAU?”

Emily smiles, sighing as she shrugs, “Hopefully one day. But there was some concern about me working for Aaron. I guess I have to prove myself first.”

She knew Aaron was furious when his request to add her to his team was denied. Gideon had certainly had something to do with it, his doubt in Aaron’s ability to be level-headed when it came to Emily well known. She was angry too since she’d had her hopes up about joining the team, but she was happy to take it one step at a time.

“Did you work abroad when you were a spy?”

Emily smiles at her new friend, “No. I did domestic intelligence only. I was offered a covert role in Tuscany, but I would have been away for months, potentially years,” she smiles wryly, her cheeks going pink as she thinks about her husband again, “I didn’t want to spend that much time away from Aaron.”

“Oh that is so cute,” Penelope exclaims, seemingly waiting until Emily takes a sip of her drink before she carries on, “So, when are you going to have kids?”

Emily does a spit take, choking as she covers her mouth to stop it from going anywhere. She feels her cheeks flame in embarrassment as JJ and Penelope laugh at her.

“One day,” she says simply, unable to fight her smile at the thought of it, “We’re not in any rush. We always said we wanted plenty of time just the two of us before we started having them.”

It was something they both knew they wanted but they both wanted to be more established in their careers first. She knew some people found it odd, especially since they’d married so quickly, but it was right for them. As soon as she had children she’d prioritise them, make sure they were at the centre of her world and that they knew it. She wouldn’t stop working, she wasn’t sure she ever could, but she’d make sure she was home as much as possible. It was why she wanted to be part of the BAU as soon as she could be, well aware that both she and Aaron couldn’t be once they had a baby.

She hears the bell over the bar’s front door ring and she turns, her smile getting wider as she spots Aaron walking in. She jumps down off of her stool, only realising how tipsy she is when she stumbles a little.

“Aaron!”

He smiles as he wraps his arms around her, his eyes flicking to JJ and Penelope as he stamps a quick kiss against her lips, “Hi sweetheart.”

“Thank you for coming to get me,” she says, cupping his cheeks and dragging him in for another kiss, “You’re the best husband in the world.”

He chuckles and hooks his arm around her shoulders to lead her back towards the table, “Thanks, Em,” he replies, smiling politely at JJ and Penelope, “Do either of you need a lift home?”

They both shake their heads and Penelope looks at them back and forth, her smile nothing short of delighted as she watches them, her eyes fixed on how Emily leans as closely to Aaron as possible, “I get it now.”

Aaron frowns, his confusion only deepening when Emily laughs, the sound hidden in his neck as she presses her face into it, “Get what?”

“I’ll tell you later, honey,” Emily soothes, kissing his neck before she pulls away, “But first, take me home. Via McDonalds.”

He nods and waves goodbye to JJ and Penelope before he turns his wife around to lead her to the exit of the bar, “Whatever you want, Em.”

___

The explosion almost knocks her off her feet.

She stumbles, reaching out to grab at something that isn’t there, every cracked rib screaming at her as she finds her footing, the breath she sucks in scraping harshly against every bruise. Her ears ring, all other sound fading out until all she can hear is her own heartbeat and the shaky sound of her breathing. Time slows down around her as she turns to look at the church with wide eyes, backing away from it slowly, the flames almost cruel in their beauty as they destroy everything and everyone that hadn’t made it out.

She’s brought back to herself, time speeding back up around her, in a split second. Someone lays a hand on her, a soft grip on her arm that makes her jump, flashes of the last time someone touched her, the violence of Cyrus’s skin against hers, forcing her to try to pull by instinct. Her body acting against the exhaustion she could feel in her very bones.

“Em, sweetheart, it’s me.”

She looks up, her eyes wide and shining as they meet his, and it feels like her chest collapses in on itself, all of the stress and trauma over the last few days finally making it give way, “Aaron?”

He nods, the hand not on her arm cupping her cheek, his thumb gentle as it scrapes along damaged and swollen skin, “Yes, baby. It’s me. It’s Aaron.”

Something about the way she looks at him makes him think of when they first met. When she was 22 and full of fire that had never dulled in the time they’d known each other. He never could have known then how important she’d become to him, how his very happiness would rest on her shoulders, how his home would be somewhere he found between her collarbone and her heartbeat. He’d come far too close over the last day or so to losing her, to having to accept it as a reality, and knows it would have broken him. He would have picked himself back up, would have done his best for his daughter, the little girl with her mother’s face who would always remind him too much of the love he’d lost, but he never would have been the same.

How could he have been, when the only person who knew where all the pieces of him went would have been gone.

“I love you so much,” he says, kissing the top of her head, holding her as tightly as he can without hurting her.

“I love you too.” She collapses against him, her head against his chest as he gathers her as close as possible. He presses his face into her hair, the smell of smoke and sweat replacing the usual lavender scent that followed her around, and he breathes her in, feels her shaky, uneven, breathes pass from her chest into his as she grasps at the back of his shirt. She pulls back to kiss him, her lips firmer against his than he expected. “Where’s Alice?” She asks, wrenching herself from him, her eyes nothing short of wild as her eyes meet his, “Is she okay? What-”

“She’s fine, she’s at the hotel with JJ,” he assures her, cupping her face in both of his hands, pressing his lips against her forehead, ash and sorrow passing from her skin to his, as he tries to convince himself that she was really here, that all of his worst fears from the last few days had been unfounded, “JJ said she’d bring her to us as soon as you were safe.”

She nods, her grip on him tightening as she turns around, guilt flooding through her as she thinks of Spencer, immediately chased away by relief when she sees him standing several feet away looking every bit as shell-shocked as she feels. He smiles at her, a quick flash of a thing, and in different circumstances she knows she’d limp over, that she’d break his usual embargo on hugs and pull him into her arms, their shared experience something that no one else could understand. But she can’t bring herself to pull away from Aaron, to remove herself from the warmth she had longed for since she’d last seen him.

The compound hadn’t had air conditioning. It was stiflingly hot in the room she’d been kept in, their air thick and cloying, making it even harder to breathe, her lungs burning with it against fractured ribs she knew would take weeks to heal. It was the opposite of the heat that came with her husband. His was a comfort. Something she’d reach out for even on the warmest days of the year, opting to curl around him with the covers bunched up at the end of the bed, his heavy arm laid over her waist better at helping her drift off to sleep than any high-count thread sheets ever could.

“Can we go?” Emily says as she turns back to him, “To the hotel?”

Aaron shakes his head, running his thumb back and forth over her jawline, “We need to get you seen by at least an EMT first,” he says, his eyes flicking to the dried blood on her sleeve, the bright red skin and cut visible beneath the torn material, “Maybe even a doctor.”

“No,” she mutters, shaking her head, the desire to see her daughter overriding anything else, “I’m fine. I don’t need to see anyone.”

He’d never been very good at saying no to her and she knew it, but he knew he had to put his foot down, that he had to make sure she was okay, “Sweetheart-”

“I’m fine-”

“I heard everything,” he says, his voice firmer than it usually would be with her. It stops her from arguing, her insistence that she was fine stuck in her throat, “I heard him beating you, Em. So I need you to let someone look at you, okay? Can you do it for me?”

He knows it’s playing dirty, that using her love for him against her was unfair, but he knows she’d never do it for herself. She presses her lips together and drops her head, sighing as she shakes her head, her teeth clenched together before she nods, a short, sharp thing that gives away her irritation.

“Okay,” she says as she looks back up at him, “Let’s get this over with.”

___

The paramedics make her go to the hospital.

She’s momentarily furious at her husband for making her speak to them in the first place, anger she knows he doesn’t deserve licking at her insides. If it was him that was hurt, when it had been him that was hurt, she’d done the exact same thing. It wasn’t all that long ago, when she was still pregnant and when he’d been hurt in the explosion that had killed Kate Joyner, when she’d yelled at him for trying to leave the hospital just because the case was still ongoing. The stress of it all, of briefly not knowing where her husband was, if he’d died in the explosion, started contractions that kept her at home once the case was over. A dramatic end to her time in the BAU, to working by her husband’s side, that had taken her a while to get her head around.

She shifts in the bed she’s lying in, propped up by pillows to relieve some of the pressure on her ribs, the scratchy hospital gown she’d been forced to put on rubbing against her sore skin. She felt on edge, every one of her nerves fraying as she waited for Aaron to come back. He’d stepped out of her room, pausing the vigil he’d started to keep over her, to meet JJ in the waiting area. He’d called her as soon as Emily was admitted to the hospital for the night. She was connected to IV fluids for her dehydration, something she’d only agreed to when she was told her milk supply would be at risk if they didn’t rehydrate her, and antibiotics the doctor had insisted on the moment he saw the cut on her arm. Aaron knew if he didn’t get Alice here to see her his wife would leave against medical advice, that she’d tear the cannula delivering her meds from the back of her hand and walk back to the hotel herself if she had to.

Emily looks up as the door opens. The relief that floods through her when Aaron steps in, Alice held against his chest and her diaper bag over his shoulder, is palpable. She thinks if she wasn’t lying down she would have stumbled because of it, the thought that she might never have seen her again suddenly so heavy she can’t breathe.

“Look, Princess,” Aaron says, dumping the diaper bag on a chair in the corner, “It’s Mommy.” He adds, and Emily tries to sit up but winces, her hand pressed against her chest as she breathes through it, “Careful, Em. I’ll bring her to you.”

She nods, frustration at her own body, for it not working as she wanted it to, flaring through her. It’s immediately chased away as Aaron sits on the edge of her bed and adjusts his hold on Alice so he can lay her on Emily’s chest. She places her hand on her baby's back and presses her face into her hair, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo, “Hi, sweet girl. Mommy missed you.”

Aaron places his hand over hers on Alice’s back, providing the support she’d never ask for, already seeing the tension in her shoulders that the embrace was already creating, “She missed you too.”

Emily hums, the sound giving way to a chuckle as Alice starts to root, her face rubbing against her chest, her tiny fists clasping and unclasping, “Well, she missed part of me.”

He stamps a kiss against Emily’s lips, “Need any help?”

She wants to say no, to prove to herself that she’s fine, but the desire to do so fades when she looks up at him, lingering fear shining in his eyes. She nods, her smile tight as she nods.

“Can you untie this?” She asks, pointing to the ties of the gown on her shoulders, her arms not cooperating with her, every movement of them that brought them above chest level enough to make fire burn through her chest, the flames of it catching on each fracture Cyrus had left behind on her ribs.

He springs into action, his touch delicate as he unties the small bows, impossibly gentle with hands she knew could be capable of so much more. It was one of the many things she loved about him. His gentleness, how he’d worked so hard to be soft after his childhood, intent on being everything his father wasn’t. On chasing the violence he’d grown up around out of the world. She watches as his jaw tightens when the bruises on her abdomen are revealed as the gown falls open, his shock no less evident than it had been when he’d helped her shower just an hour ago. She knows he blames himself, something she won’t be able to talk him out of yet. She wouldn’t get anywhere with it until they were home, safe and content in the house they’d bought together, so she simply smiles at him when he looked back up at her face, a failed attempt to cover his reaction forcing a smile onto his.

“Can you help me get her into position?” She asks, even though she’s sure she could do it herself. He nods, immediately helping her shift their daughter into place. Emily winces as she latches on, blowing out a shaky breath at the sensation, “Jesus. At least the antibiotics will help with any infection I guess,” she says conversationally, stroking her fingers back and forth over Alice’s back as she eats. Emily looks up at her husband and watches as he rubs at his ear, something he’d done for weeks after the explosion in New York, and her eyes go wide, guilt for not thinking of his damaged hearing sooner, “Crap, the explosion. You should get your ears checked.”

He shakes his head, “It’s fine, Em. Just a little sore-”

“No, your eardrum could have burst again,” she says, speaking over him as she reaches for the call button, “We’ll get a nurse to-”

“Em,” he says, firmer this time as he squeezes her knee, drawing her attention back to him, “It’s fine. If it carries on hurting I’ll speak to my doctor when we get home okay?” He squeezes her knee again, his grip tight as he reassures himself, “You’re the one who was…” he clears his throat, shaking his head at himself as he looks down at the bed, “I’m fine.”

It hangs in the air around them, everything he hadn’t said but they’d both heard filling the room, making the silence heavy and thick.

“It’s not your fault, honey,” she says, reaching out with the hand that wasn’t securing Alice to her chest, squeezing as hard as she can as she links their fingers together, “None of this was your fault.”

He looks back up at her and the bruising on her face makes his stomach swoop. The swelling and mottled skin somehow looks worse in the lighting of the room and he feels nauseous, flashes of a life he had left behind appearing over the life he had now.

“I’m the one who asked you to go.”

She sighs and tugs him closer. There’s hardly any force behind it, her body exhausted and sore, but he follows anyway, never having to be asked twice to get close to her, “The person responsible for this is dead, Aaron. He’s dead. I need you to know I don’t blame you for any of this.”

He wants to believe her, knows she hasn’t lied to him before, but he can’t get past the heavy rock of guilt low in his stomach, something he knows will fester. Something that would take root and grow over the next few weeks, with no chance of going anywhere until all of her bruises had faded, something he’d think about in years to come when he looked at the long silver line on her arm that the cut would one day become.

He nods despite himself, swallowing thickly, because he knows now isn’t the time, that he simply wants to spend time with his girls when, not that long ago, a part of him was convinced he’d never get to do so again.

“Okay,” he says, pressing his forehead against hers, “Okay.”

She stamps her lips against his, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Alice cries out from between them, her face screwed up in a frown as she pulls away from Emily, making both of her parents laugh.

“We love you too, baby,” Emily says as Aaron rearranges her gown for her, leaving the ties slightly looser than they had been before so she can pull them open herself. “I think we can convince Daddy to lay with us for a bit.”

He frowns, already shaking his head before she’s finished speaking, “Sweetheart, I don’t want to hurt you.”

She looks at him with wide eyes he’d never been able to say no to, and she angles Alice to face him too, the baby already half asleep, “Please.”

He sighs and stamps a kiss against Emily’s forehead and then the top of Alice’s head as he stands up, “The day she masters that look too I’m never winning an argument in our house again.”

She laughs, wincing as it makes her ribs jump and she lightly shakes her head at him to let her know she’s okay.

“Oh honey,” she says, shifting just as much as she can to let him slip into the bed behind her. She leans back against him, sighing contentedly as she finds true comfort for the first time in days, settling into his embrace as he wraps his arms around her and Alice, “When was the last time you did win an argument?”

-x-

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#hotchniss fanfic #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner fanfiction #hotchniss fan fic #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #emily prentiss fanfiction #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron x emily #hotchniss

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getmeoutofhell · 10 hours

Text

Slasher House

warnings: cussing, demons, and well ofc, slashers.

a/n: enjoy my little angels!

you don’t know how you ended up here, but here you were, in a shitty house in the middle of no where. also did i mention there’s a bunch of psycho killers that live with you?? no? well let me tell you.

freddy, hannibal + will, art + the little girl, vincent, candy man, pin head, bo, bubba, thomas, penny + pennywise, michael, cory, all ghostfaces, jason, chucky, tiffany, carrie, jennifer, anabelle, patrick, crepper, valak, the crooked man, and the babadook somehow lived here.

well, bubba & thomas don’t live with you, but about an hour or so away. the come visit on saturday’s tho, so that’s nice.

about every damn 5 minutes there’s a fight somewhere happening. it’s usually freddy and jason, but sometimes it’s penny and pennywise going at it over something you don’t care to ask about.

sometimes you see art come in and break up the fight, you think it’s cute how he’s always there to help.

hannibal and will have their own stuff to them selves by acquiring their own room and bathroom. they keep their relationship and love live private from you and the rest of the group, but you guys respect it.

sometimes hannibal, will, candy man, and pin head have nice conversations, but will gets bored and leaves them alone.

patrick is everyone’s opp, like literally everyones. hannibal was fighting the urge to eat him as soon as he met him. but you had to beg him not to. freddy really can’t stand him. he said he’s a “proper bitch” which you can agree with somewhat.

now let’s talk about valak. he’s very, very, very sneaky. like, concerning type sneaky. you never hear him, or see him, unless he wants to be seen. he talks, barley. sometimes you see him with anabelle or the crooked man. he sometimes scares you, and he knows.

the babadook on the other hand, he stays hidden, literally. it’s your job to get up everyday and feed him his daily worms, or he gets grumpy and makes the house shake and shit. he kinda only trust you for some odd reason to feed him. you’ll never question it tho.

you sleep in the second floor of this monstrosity of an house. on your floor is freddy, carrie, billy, and stu.

carrie is very sweet, and usually speaks only when spoken to. freddy on the other hand…we all know how he is.

billy and stu, are probably the loudest on your floor. and that’s because they throw fucking party’s in their room with the other ghostfaces. sometimes you’re invited, sometimes not. it depends on billy’s mood that day.

now don’t get me started on the rest of them…

i really wanna start writing this so i hope you guys like it!

#art the clown #slashers #slashers x reader #ethan landry #slashers x y/n #ghostface x reader #ethan landry x reader #ask #ghostface #roman bridger #freddy krueger #michael myers #patrick bateman #slasher house #valak

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clubdionysus · 19 hours

Text

[BAD DECISION #43] Circles

warnings: subby koo <3, begging, handjobs, semi-public ig, jk calling himself a slut <3, edging, fingering, pussy eating, finger sucking, reader on top yeehaw, jk calling reader a slut (nicely i promise), titty sucking, vvv messy finish lawl, cum swapping, confessions??, feelings??, communication???, the moon????, some v cute moments actually!

notes: my fave thing about bd chapters is the doodles that went with them bc they're lil time capsules and u just know how the release of seven influenced me/bd hehhehe

wc: 11.8K

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"You've got so much sand in your hair," you muse softly, resting your head on Jeongguk's shoulder. Legs are wrapped around his waist, your chest is to his broad back as he carries you through from the kitchen to the living room.

It's just you and him, now, the main house quiet, save for your giggles and his reciprocation. The sand is residual from your chat on the beach, but you're still not really sure how he managed it—but it's sort of like your glitter. Gets everywhere even when you don't mean for it to.

The noraebang session you had returned to had died a brutal death. Jimin and Taehyung blessed your eyes and ears with a theatrical rendition of Bop to the Top from High School Musical, which scored them a mere 28.

Jimin threatened legal action. Taehyung begged Danbi for reassurance that his version of Sharpay's lines were flawless.

Too drunk for their own good, the rest of your friends had trundled back to their bedrooms. You and Jeongguk insisted that you wanted to clean up. Get the kitchen and sitting room fresh for the morning.

Really, you had just wanted an excuse to spend more time together. After an evening of ignoring him, you're desperate to fill your heart with his energy.

So far? So good.

The kitchen is spotless, as if the sitting room. You could go to bed now, if you wanted to.

But you don't.

As you reach the sofa, Jeongguk continues to keep you wrapped around his body, sitting you both down together. The scent of his aftershave is a little subdued, worn away throughout the evening, but it still drives you wild. Gets you pressing a silly little kiss into the curve of his neck.

He's pretty sure if you do it again, he'll die.

You're only in this position 'cause you'd started yawning, and Jeongguk didn't want you to fall asleep. Wanted you to stay awake with him into the early hours. You'd gladly obliged, his broad back the perfect place for you to get cosy.

Easing your position, your legs loosen, hands dropping to his waist.

The scent of his fabric conditioner steals the show as you press a kiss into his shoulder.

Apparently you've lost your Goddamn mind, and are ignorant to the boundaries of platonic friendship. You don't behave like this with 'friends'—but it's nothing new, you suppose.

And you and Jeongguk most definitely aren't just 'friends'.

He's your favourite of all your friends, yes, but you care for him like a lover. Comfort him like it was your soul's purpose in a lifetime before this one. Find his gaze in crowded rooms as if you've spent millennia looking for him. Rest your head on his shoulder as if the crook of his neck was carved just for you.

He thinks it was.

"Like a little koala," Jeongguk fondly muses, one of his large hands stroking down your ankle while the other uses the remote to flick through the television options. He doesn't care much for shows nor movies these days, but just doesn't want to say goodbye to this day just yet. Wants to spend more time with you. "Watcha wanna watch?"

"Not fussy," you hum. In all honesty, your eyes are a little heavy. Whatever he puts on, you're gonna end up falling asleep. It's just a lame ass excuse to snuggle up with him in the most domesticated of ways. "Whatever you want."

Squeezing at your ankle, he says, "So you won't complain if I put Boss Baby on? WWE? Teleshopping? Porn channels?"

Shaking your head against his back, you smile. "You won't put Boss Baby on 'cause you've spent all weekend with Jimin."

"True."

"And teleshopping is a bad idea because you're weak," you tell him with absolute certainty. "They'll trick you into buying things"—

"Will not."

"Will too," you insist, knowing that he's just as bad as you when it comes to ridiculous, unnecessary purchases. "Porn channels are redundant 'cause I'm the only thing that gives you a boner these days"—

"Fair."

"So it looks like wrestling is your only option," you deduce, ignoring the way he just confirmed your joke about his boner situation.

In all fairness, Jeongguk hasn't even tried getting hard thinking about anything other than you lately. You're the only thing he desires. Only person, only body, only heart. Why waste time thinking of anything else? Wouldn't make him cum half as hard.

"I know your tricks," Jeongguk hums with a jovial air of nonchalance, opening up Netflix. "Get us watching WWE, learn a few tricks, then tackle me in a bid to seduce me. I wasn't born yesterday, Byeol. Can't fool me."

The way your body gently moves behind him when you laugh is nothing short of euphoria for Jeongguk. He loves this. Loves being with you.

For all the jokes that could be made about the validity of your claims of platonic friendship, you really are his best friend.

There's nobody else he'd ever wanna hang out with like this. Enjoys his space, yet seems to hate space when you're around. Wants to be close, close, close; always, always, always. Will stick to you like glue, if you'll let him.

"Don't need to tackle you to seduce you," you assure him. It's proven by the way his breath hitches as your hands sink to the top edge of his leather belt. You don't do anything. Just toy with the material a little. Tease. Say, "I barely have to touch you, do I? I bet you're getting hard now, aren't you?"

Suddenly, you don't feel so tired, anymore.

Sleep can wait. Getting Jeongguk off can't.

There are two options for Jeongguk in this situation: denial, or acceptance.

He's pretty sure both of them will end in his dick getting wet.

May as well have a little fun with it.

"Nope," he lies.

The truth of the matter is that Jeongguk gets stiff at the drop of a pin when it comes to you. The mere mention of sex sends blood flooding to his cock. The implication that you might want to fuck him? Oh, he may as well have been going at it for half an hour with how much it makes him throb.

"Don't believe you," you whisper.

Jeongguk is still flicking through Netflix, but doesn't choose anything to put on. Is too distracted by the way you delicately stroke his belt. You could find out for yourself, if you really wanted to. He wouldn't object.

In fact, he encourages it, when the hand that had been holding your ankle comes to rest over one of your hands. Pushes it down. Rests your palm over his crotch, and pushes his hips upwards. Grunts.

"Yeah," he says, slowly pulsing his hips, building a firm pattern, the bulge of his cock fitting perfectly into the shape of your hand. "You're right to not believe it."

The Netflix search is abandoned as soon as you purr, "Let me get you off, Gguk."

The position you're in is kept, Jeongguk's belt threaded through its buckle, trousers unbuttoned, zip yanked down in a desperate bid to get your hands around his cock as quickly as you can.

Jeongguk tips his head back, breaths laboured. His crown rests upon your shoulder, as he hums into the satisfaction of the feeling your hands provide him with. "Tighter, baby. Grip it tighter."

You can't see what you're doing. Are relying on the feeling alone. Know his cock well enough by this point that it's no issue.

He gets a little pouty when you pull one of your hands away—but gets so incredibly vocal when you spit on your fingers and wrap them back around his thick shaft. Tells you how good you feel. How pretty your hands are. How much he wants to cum all over them.

God, he'd defile you right now, if he could. Sully your skin with his sex. Get those slender fingers of yours, and pretty nails, and just cover them in his cum.

Thing is, he wants to last. Has to push thoughts of finishing to the side. Can't embarrass himself like that, even as he whines into your touch like a little bitch.

Pushing his hips up into your slippery palms, Jeongguk is utterly obsessed with the way you feel.

"Oh, fuck, baby," he whimpers when you pick up the pace, his breathing all out of sync and so terribly cute. "You're so good to me," he praises. "So good."

Handjobs are typically fleeting whenever you fuck Jeongguk. A means to an end. This is different. Your hands are moving with purpose. He's jerking himself up into your palms 'cause he needs it. Needs you.

So you tease him—"So needy, aren't you?"—and are ever so pleased when he confirms your accusation. He nods. Grunts. Bites down on his bottom lip to stifle his noises.

And it's cute. So cute how much he likes even the simplest of sexual endeavours with you. Kind of feels like he never knew how good it could be—to fuck and be fucked in return—before he met you.

There's something about Jeongguk when he's like this— pathetic —that just really gets you going. You know you're soaked in your panties. Dress pooling around your hips, you wonder if he can feel your arousal. It's sort of unintentional, the way you grind your hips up against him. You're just turned on. Want him as badly as he wants you.

"You're fucking yourself into my hand like a desperate little slut, aren't you?" you giggle into his ear, nibbling on his lobe. You know it will drive him mad.

"Shit," he curses, leaning his head to the side to give you more access to his neck. Whimpers when your lips latch right onto his sweet spot. "Such a slut for you, B. God, baby, you're gonna make me cum. Gonna make me cum so fuckin' hard."

Every single word he utters is laced with a heavy, lustful breath. He's losing his mind. Forgot the simple pleasure of a pair of pretty hands.

"Beg for it."

"Byeol," he whines.

"Beg for it," you repeat. "Tell me why you deserve to cum, huh?"

"Cause you fuckin' want it," he grunts, shuddering a little as his torso twitches from the pleasure he's fighting. "You wanna see me cum. I know you do."

"That's not begging," you say as you press a light kiss to his neck. "Do better."

And against all odds, he does.

"Let me cum," he breathlessly whispers. "Byeol, please let me cum. I'll do anything."

The power trip is unbelievable. Too good to give up.

But the tortured, laboured whimper he mewls as you release your hand? The way his body doubles over? The hushed curses under his breath?

Makes it so incredibly worth it.

"I'm on the verge of death," he pants when he realises what you've done. Squirms beneath the pressure of his undelivered pleasure. "Oh God, I'm gonna fuckin' die. You're gonna kill me."

He's being dramatic. All you've done is withheld an orgasm. Edged him a little.

All weak and limp, Jeongguk's hips are still involuntarily pulsing, cock desperate for release. Balls so tight he really does think he might die.

And so he pulls away.

Decides that if you're gonna be a brat, then he's gonna be even fuckin' worse.

He gets to his knees. Rids himself of his dress shirt. Positions himself right between your spread legs. Is gonna give you a taste of your own fuckin' medicine.

Jeongguk hooks his arms under your thighs and yanks you forward, for no purpose other than to plant kisses all over the soaked lace of your underwear as quickly as he possibly can.

Dress pooled by your hips, the access is easy. He's already deduced that you're only wearing the bra and panties of the three piece set, but he doesn't give a fuck.

Truthfully, when it comes to having sex with you, none of that matters.

Skin on skin is what he wants. Closeness. Togetherness.

"Oh, fuck me," he chokes out when he's sees how badly you want him, dark eyes tracing over the lines of your slick core.

He slips his index finger beneath the strip of fabric that covers your pussy, and pulls it to the side. Has never felt hunger quite like it. Brings his middle finger to your already soaked hole and gently pushes inside. Sinks down to kitten lick against your clit, utterly obsessed with the taste, the scent.

"God," he barely pulls away. Brushes his lips against you as he speaks. "I could just fuckin' die in this cunt."

"Then do it. Die for me," you tease, hand coming to tangle in his hair, encouraging his lips to suction around your clit. His finger continues to fuck itself into you, quick in its pace. He pulls back. Spits. Reattaches himself to you, as if he can't bear to be apart.

The sensation of Jeongguk is almost too much to bear. Almost .

Toying and teasing, he's manipulating your pussy with his hands all in a bid to get your body writhing.

There's something to be said for the way his touch just absolutely controls you. Domineers. Dictates. How he can be as soft as his silky hair in one moment, then as hard as his sharp jaw the next.

He hums in approval as he sucks on your pussy, palm to the sky as he begins to pick up the pace of his fingers. There's a lewdness to the sounds that you make together; a harmony that's so disgustingly human it almost makes him forget that you're not of this world.

Brighter than any of the stars shining in through the window, you're beaming. Alive with the feeling of Jeongguk laying claim to you, as if he's just discovered one of those scam name-a-star websites. Card data already input into the checkout, he'd waste all his resources on you.

His tongue is flat as he delves between your folds. Flat, and firm and fucking divine— until it's pointed, and precise and overwhelmingly perfect. Heat travels through your entire body, from the tip of your toes to the tops of your fingers. It's bliss. He's bliss.

The thing about stars is that they burn. Are red hot in a way that Jeongguk failed to realise when he first became acquainted with you. Every touch of your body has rewritten the fabric of his. There are constellations in his fingerprints; cosmic entities where your lips have pressed your adoration into his skin.

Jeongguk is not the same man he was before he knew you, and he'll never be the same again. The scars you leave are promises. I'm yours. Invisible to the naked eye, yet entirely obvious to anyone who spends time in his company. You're mine.

His mouth is a little too preoccupied to make any silly declarations right now, mind you. Lapping at your pussy, Jeongguk eats you out like he hasn't had a good meal all week. He'd starve for seven days if knew he'd have the luxury of your taste by the time Sunday arrives.

"Nicest pussy ever," he promises when he finally takes a second to breathe. Looks up at you, eyes glossy. Starry. The tip of his nose shines in the haze of your hedonism, lips wet. "Nicest pussy in the whole world."

"Oh yeah?" you giggle, a little amused with how sweet his compliments are. Sweet, and stupid, and simply impossible for him to test the validity of.

Not that he ever wants to. Only wants you.

You scratch behind his ear, and Jeongguk's puppy-dog tendencies return as he leans into your touch. Smiles. Hums in complete contentment.

"Mhmm," he says, leaning back down to press kisses all over your slick lips, fingers thick as they continue working your pussy for his viewing pleasure—and for your pleasure, full stop. Punctuated with pretty kisses in the place of full stops, he says, "And it's mine . I get to have it. So lucky, baby. So lucky."

There's no luck to this. None whatsoever.

A little fate, maybe. Destiny.

"Yours?" You raise a brow.

He doesn't give you a verbalised response.

Just wraps his lips around your clit, and keeps his eyes open this time. Looks up at you, dark eyes twinkling, dewy nose pressed into your skin, his desperation to devour you evident. Lets his fingers scissor inside you. Gets your toes pointing. Has you looking to the sky. Your back arches, fingers tight in his hair.

"Gguk," you whine, as if he's in any position to respond to you—but he does .

He hums, and— fuck —the vibration around your clit sends you orbiting.

"That's it," you breathe out, looking back down as a familiar sensation begins to take control. He doesn't ease up. Keeps stroking at your sweet spot. Keeps sucking on your clit. Keeps doing what he's doing 'cause he loves what's about to happen.

Ever the gentleman, and incredibly unlike you ten minutes ago, Jeongguk decides to let you ride the wave of the orgasm crashing over you. Doesn't wanna deprive you. Wants you to feel good. Knows it won't be the last time it happens tonight.

"Shit," you choke out as your shoulders press down into the sofa, one of your hands instinctively cupping your chest. The dress you're wearing is still covering most of your body, but it doesn't matter. Jeongguk'll get you out of it eventually. "That's it. That's it— fuck ."

The way your walls begin to tighten, legs hooking around the back of his head as your entire body shudders, is almost enough to make him finish, too.

He thinks it's the hottest thing he's ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Doesn't understand how he can find such pleasure in someone else's orgasm, but knows if it came down to him or you, he'd sacrifice all of his for one of yours.

Moaning as he drags you to a height of pleasure reserved only for the brightest of stars, Jeongguk smiles through it all. Reluctantly pulls away from you with laboured breath, chest heaving from the fact he kinda forgot how to breathe. Was busy. Thinks your pussy is more important than his survival.

"You good?" he checks, resting his pretty head on your thigh. Keeps his fingers plugged inside you, but slows the movements to a halt. Just keeps you full, 'cause he can. 'Cause he wants to. 'Cause he's lowkey obsessed with you.

With a nod, you let your body relax into the plush pillows of the sofa. Giggle. Keep your legs over his shoulders, but hold your face in your hands, as if you're embarrassed by how hard you came for him.

But then a kiss is pressed to your inner thigh, pretty and soft, accented by the hardness of his lip ring.

"You came so well for me, baby," he praises. Thinks it's cute how shy you get whenever you cum. So pretty and perfect and his. A shallow laugh gets caught in his throat, before he shakes his head and sits up a little straighter. "So gorgeous when you cum. Pretty, baby."

Jeongguk has never been more in love.

Slowly, he pulls his fingers from you. The tepid movement makes your back arch ever so gently, pussy still sensitive from your climax. Eyes on his, you know him well enough to get a read on his intentions. His desires.

So you just smirk. Let your lips part. Hold your tongue out ever so slightly, eyes wide, expression playful. He follows your lead. Brings his messy fingers to your lips. Sinks them into your mouth, and is met with the most glorious sight.

The expression on your face changes . Darkens .

While, yes, your eyes are still wide, it's your cheeks that really get him, now.

Your typically sweet cheeks are hollowed, your bone structure exclusively on show for him. It gets him throbbing. Gets him wrapping his spare hand around his cock—not that it needs any encouragement. He's still rock-hard for you. Still wants you.

Is proven, when he begs once more. "Let me fuck you, babe."

A smirk settles on your lips as he pulls his fingers back. You shuffle in your seat. Readjust. Keep your legs spread and encourage him to squeeze onto the sofa with you.

The angle is a little off, and it definitely isn't gonna be how you fuck him, but it brings him closer to you. Close enough to kiss. Close enough to smell your arousal on him. Close enough to let him sink his tongue between your lips and get lost in you once more.

All you ever seem to want these days is to be close to Jeongguk, and even then, close is never close enough. His lips are on yours, your tongue in his mouth, his hands all over your body—and still it's not enough.

There's something missing; words that would fuse you to him. Words that you know damn well if uttered right now would end in disaster—so you bite back the desperate, hungry, declarations that are dancing in your throat. Reach for Jeongguk's hand. Force him to wrap his fingers around the base of your throat, just so you can keep those pesky words at bay.

The squeeze of his wide hand around your neck is welcome. Not too harsh, just strong enough to let you know that no other necklace would suit you half as well as Jeongguk's pretty, tattooed hand does.

It's force of habit, more than anything, that makes his spare hand drop to your pussy. Fingers flat, he rubs over your clit at the speed of lightning, not for any grand purpose other than to make you shake a little. Smirks, when you do exactly as he thought you would.

"Look at how easy you are for me," he husks, pressing his lips across your cheek, down your jaw. Squeeze your throat a little tighter. "You gonna let me fuck you, huh?"

The tables have turned.

You're the pathetic one, now.

"Uh-huh," you whine when he sinks his middle finger back into your pussy. He's quick. Repeats it a couple times. Loves how needy you are; how noisy your pussy is. So fucking wet for him.

As he pulls his hand from your cunt and wanks himself a little, he revels in how your slick juices feel against his shaft. Doesn't know how the fuck he found pleasure in anything before he knew you. Knows he'll never find pleasure in anything else. You've corrupted him. Completely and utterly. Ruined.

His lips trail to your ear, hands roaming your body. Squeezing. Appreciating. Devouring.

He's quiet, when he husks, "Want you to ride me."

"Say please," you quip back without missing a beat.

It's not like you're gonna say no—but you are gonna make him beg a little.

"Please, B," he says so daintily it's as if his cock isn't all red and engorged and leaky at the tip for you. He's got the body of an angel, but all it makes you wanna do is sin. "Be a good girl for me. You know you want to. Fuck me how you want to fuck me."

He does know how to ask nicely, you'll give him that much credit.

Jeongguk pulls away and sinks into the sofa beside you, certain you'll do as you're told.

His arrogance will catch up with him one day, but you're too eager to please him right now. All you wanna do is fuck him right, 'cause you know he'll fuck you right in return.

There's no objection as he pulls you onto his lap. No time wasted as he rubs the tip of his cock between your soaked folds. No bodies more connected than yours when he finally pushes up inside of you.

He groans. Throws his head back. Holds your waist and is reminded of your dress. Decides that it absolutely needs to go.

The way he rids you of the silky fabric is barbaric. You don't know where he throws it. Don't know if it's still in one piece. All you know is that his lips are on your skin as soon as they can be, his hips rutting up into you, cock nudging so deep inside of your cunt you can feel him in your fucking throat.

Okay, so maybe that's dramatic, but he just fills you so fucking well. Is so big. So nice.

His hand wraps around your back to release the clasp of your bra with little to no effort. He sheds you of your clothes and has you exactly how he wants you: naked, whiney and ever so beautiful as you take his full cock inside you.

Jeongguk's not small. Not by any stretch of the imagination. He's easily got the biggest cock you've ever taken, yet your body adapts to him effortlessly. You're tight, yeah, but not painfully so. It's all pleasure. You're made for him, and him for you.

The thickness of his cock is amplified when he grabs your waist and begins to bounce you at a faster pace.

"Oh, shit," he curses. "God. Taking me so well, aren't you, B? Taking this fat cock so easily. Oh, fuck yeah. Pretty, pretty slut."

It's been a while since he got vulgar with the name-calling. Was reminded of how much he likes it when you'd done it earlier.

You'd forgotten how much you like it too; how much you like the acknowledgement that you'll slut yourself out for him, and him alone.

"Whose slut are you? Huh?" he asks, never caring for a response. Just gets a little loose with his lips when your pussy gets tight. "Who does this cunt belong to?"

"Oh, God," you mewl, unable to form anything coherent.

He almost fuckin' snorts as he laughs. "Don't think this cunt does belong to God."

"Fuck off," you laugh. Find it so endearing that he still finds the time to joke with you. "Gguk"— his hips thrust up harder, and you have to curse him out a little before you can continue —"It's yours, you prick."

He smirks. Tips his head back, the clamminess of his body making this all so much filthier. There's a sheen to his skin, sweat dappling him. His tattoos seem even more vibrant now, your hand holding onto his arm for dear life as he rams his cock into you.Slows his hips a little. Rolls them now. Husks, "Mine."

"So big, Koo," you mumble into his lips, as if he doesn't know. It's so much more satisfying hearing your stay. Your words are stuttered. Slurred. Fucked out. "Baby, you're so big."

"Don't call me that," he husks. Grabs your tits. Plays with them just 'cause he can. Teases your nipples. Pinches. Makes you mewl. "Call me that, and you'll make me fuckin' nut."

It's not just 'Koo' getting him needy today. It's 'baby', too.

Jeongguk has always been the one more naturally inclined to call you baby—but just because you don't say it as often doesn't mean you don't think it.

God, you wanna call him baby all the time these days. When you're lazing around together, when you greet him, when you're giggling with him in the sanctuary of his bedroom, birds looking on with a fond curiosity. Baby would just roll off your tongue so naturally, if you let it.

And so, in this moment, you do.

"Hmm, baby?" you torment him.

"B," he stays sternly as he pulls you down onto his dick. The tip of his cock kisses your cervix, as deep as it can possibly go. You mewl. Gasp. Whine. And he loves it. Loves the way you sound; loves that the sounds are all involuntary and that it's his size making it happen. "Don't wanna cum yet. Wanna fuck you for hours."

It already feels like it's been hours, but it also feels like it's been no time at all.

Sex with Jeongguk alters the time-space continuum. It has to. There is no way that fucking Jeongguk doesn't transform the world in some way, shape or form.

Or maybe it's just your world that it alters. Your life. Your heart.

Taking back a little control, you rake your fingers in his hair, and pull them taut. He gasps. Stutters out a moan. Eases his grip on your waist to let your hips roll at a slower pace. He puts you in control, 'cause it's what you want.

He'll give you anything you ask for. Everything.

"Shit," you curse, grinding against him. The friction of your clit rubbing up against the neatly trimmed pubic hair is nothing short of euphoric—and when his lips latch around one of your tits? Sucks on it softly? Is tender with his touch instead of the slightly aggressive, domineering Jeongguk you were expecting? Oh, you won't last long at all. "Feels so good, Gguk."

"Mhm?" he hums, vibrating around your nipple, his thumb coming to rub at your neglected bud on the other side. God, he loves your tits. Wants them in his mouth all the time. Quite the change since your first meeting. Doesn't know how he lived without them before.

"Mhhm," you nod, pressing your lips to the top of his head.

The way your bodies are moving together is anachronistic; of a time before casual fucking and the conventions of modern dating. It's primal. Lethargic in the way you want to experience one another; eager in your yearning.

It's as if you knew him in another life. As if the stars have always intended on you merging. As if you've been a black hole waiting to happen, but now in the abyss you find abundance: Love, acceptance, contentment by the bucket load.

Eventually, the pace builds like you knew it would. Jeongguk's grunts get loftier. Your moans get shorter. Sharp. They hitch at the back of your throat, and Jeongguk kisses you until they dissolve onto his tongue.

It's as he's playing with your clit that a second, far stronger, orgasm is drawn from you. You think you see stars. Jeongguk knows for a fact he sees stars.

He also takes it as confirmation that you're getting worn out; that he doesn't need to hold off finishing.

His hand grips your ass, working you up and down his shaft in a desperate bid to coax an orgasm out of his cock, even if you're a little fucked out. It really doesn't take much to get him there; to have him cursing your name and kiss your neck.

"Oh, shit, babe," he pants. "Where"—

"Tits."

" Fuck ."

Neither of you care for the awkward clambering as you get between his legs once more, nor the dizzy disposition of your knees after your orgasm.

All you care about is Jeongguk. His pleasure. Making him cum.

You want to be the reason. Want him looking at you.

And he does.

It's delicate, how violently his body unloads itself for you. His lips are parted, brows furrowed as he wanks himself for you. You've always loved him like this. It reminds you of the early days—a little too scared to touch one another, but desperately wanting to.

It's different now. Touching Jeongguk is a natural inclination that's reciprocated. If he couldn't touch you— innocently as well as intimately —then he'd probably die.

"Cum for me," you beg, holding your tits together for him.

He shudders, legs twitching as the sensation boils over, and he shoots thick spurts of semen all over your chest. You gasp as he does so, and regret not asking for it in your mouth—so you lay your tongue flat for him. He gets the memo. Rests the tip of his cock on your tongue as massages the final spurts of his load into your mouth.

"Shit," he curses, then drags you back up to his lap. Clasps either side of your jaw and pulls you in for a kiss so desperately that he doesn't even wait for you to swallow. Licks into your mouth. Whines when he tastes himself. Drops a hand to squeeze at one of your tits, and ends up just rubbing his cum into your skin.

It's filth. Real fucking dirty.

And yet it's pure.

Unadulterated desire shared between you both. Reserved only for one another.

Eventually, as the kisses begin to ease into teeny tiny pecks, Jeongguk laughs to himself. Shakes his head. Beams as he cups your jaw and presses one final, deliberate kiss into your lips.

"If you keep fucking me like that, you're gonna get me saying all kinds of dumb shit," he promises.

"Oh yeah?" You giggle, reaching across the sofa, still in his lap, to retrieve his shirt. Thread it over your arms, you don't bother to do it up - you just know that dawn is brewing on the horizon, and fear a rogue friend of you both strolling over to the main house for some reason. Your back is to the large windows, but wouldn't take a genius to work out what's occurring. "What kinda dumb shit?"

"Dunno. Shit about how you ride me so well," he praises, eyes darting around your face, 'cause he's obsessed with every single part of you. Eyes, nose, lips. Wants them all. Settles for a nudge of noses. "So good at making me feel good, baby. So good. God, I can't believe I get to fuck you."

There's a genuine look of relief on his pretty, smiley features, as if there'd be a reality in which you'd ever turn him down.

"Can't believe I get to fuck you," you giggle right back, as Jeongguk begins to preen you. He smooths your hair. Studies the glitter on your cheeks, but doesn't change it. Loves it just as it is.

"Shut up," he says, a little bashfully—as if he wasn't the one to start this whole complimenting one another bullshit.

Jeon Jeongguk always looks so pretty in the afterglow; skin made of stardust, a smile that shines. The clamminess of his skin always makes him seem a little rounder, a little softer. It's cute—and right now? It's just for you .

You half think Jeongguk is gonna throw some sort of childish remark your way, until his demeanour sort of stiffens a little. His teeth press down on his bottom lip, and the ring, of course, does the thing. He seems perplexed. Concerned.

You're about to ask, but then Jeongguk decides that you shouldn't have to.

He should just tell you. What he thinks, how he feels.

And so he says, once more, "Byeol, I don't wanna keep going around in circles."

Pulling away a little, you snuggle down into the couch beside him. Giving him the space to pull his Calvins back up, there's a comfort to the serenity you're basking in.

Anyone who saw you now—you naked save for his shirt, traces of his sex glistening on your skin, and him in his underwear—would be forgiven for thinking you were a pair of newlyweds after their big day. Snuggling into another, it's a dangerous place to get too comfy. You really should go back over to the side-house that you're supposed to be sleeping in.

"Then start going in a straight line," you counter, childish in your tiredness.

He hums out a small laugh, pressing a kiss into the top of your head. "I mean it, B. What I said earlier."

"Which part?"

"The part where I told you I wanted you," he says quietly. Squeezes you tightly. Needs you to know he's telling the truth. "No one else. It's just as true now as it was when I first said it."

"You don't know what it's like to 'have' me. I'm not easy to handle," you say candidly.

Jeongguk thinks you're incredibly easy to handle. It's your asshole ex-partners that have been difficult.

"Nor am I," he says softly instead, not fighting back against the perception you presented. Knows how you work. Knows you'd never believe him regardless. Will just have to prove it to you over time. "I don't want easy. Don't want anyone else. Just want you."

Feels like a moot point, now.

You know how Jeongguk feels. It's been established.

But it's late, and you're both a little tired and probably a bit cranky from the alcohol. Need to sleep.

And so when Jeongguk cuts the conversation, chucks you his shirt and offers you a piggyback ride to the house, you accept it.

Just like you accept it when he drops you off in your room, and never leaves.

His own bedroom is rendered useless, for there's nowhere else he'd rather dream than right next to you.

Jeongguk doesn't fight sleep when it comes. Falls into it willingly, arm still looped over your waist to keep you close. He doesn't mind the heat. Doesn't mind your hair in his face, or the inability to move freely. Would far rather sleep with you like this than alone.

Typically, you'd find it easy to fall asleep in such a position. Not with anyone else—you'd be frustrated with their warmth, and imposing touch—but with Jeongguk, it's always welcome.

Tonight, you stare at the ceiling.

Grey in the light of the bay that seeps in through the window, the emptiness feels as calming as the boy beside you. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to sleep, but your mind seems to be racing at a mile a minute, filtering between the security of time spent with Jeongguk, and the instability of exactly what you are.

The conversations had today have shined a little light on Jeongguk's feelings, but it's still nothing solid. You're still just friends. An attempt had been made at changing that, but it was a fruitless endeavour. Just feels like Jeongguk was right—you are going round in circles.

People can be fickle, and you know that Jeongguk has been holding out his heart from hurt recently. You doubt he'll be willing to venture down the path he's already travelled with Hayun. Why make the same mistakes twice? You're both supposed to be growing. Learning.

Falling into something with you is the opposite of what he should be doing.

Yet his arm is looped around your waist, bare skin sticking to yours in the heat of your embrace. He clearly finds comfort in you, but isn't confident enough in his feelings to actually commit to you.

And you shouldn't compare—you know this—but you've been made to feel like this before.

So you adjust. Shakes out of his shackles. Can't leave, 'cause it's your room, but you consider it - where would you go? To his room? To the beach?

Anywhere but here.

There's not really much thought put into it when you eventually slip out from the duvet, and quietly head down the stairs. Are childish as you stick your middle finger up in the direction of Hayun's room, just 'cause you're sick of her and her impact on your life, but aren't willing to actually argue with her. Unseen passive aggression is your new best friend.

Sliding the front door open, you're met by the chill of the cold spring air. All you're wearing is Jeongguk's button-up - the same one he'd taken off you before bed with little care for seducing you.

That being said, he did frown when you went to change into pyjamas. Insisted that you didn't need them. Had you naked beneath the sheets with no intention of fucking you - which felt like a headfuck within itself.

You don't mean to be this way; to be so suspicious of innocence.

Your insecurities are deep-rooted. They'd been so well conditioned into the fabric of your being that they now sit flush against your previous expectations of relationships. They're impossible to pick away. They need to be excavated, then re-filled with a new understanding of what it's like to be loved.

Jeongguk's been trying.

It's hard work, though. Laboursome. Strenuous. Stressful. Takes far more time than it really should.

He thinks it's the easiest job in the world.

The reward is so much greater than the investment. There's no sunk cost fallacy with you; even if it doesn't work out between the pair of you, he's hoping he'll at least heal the wounds left by someone else. Wants you happy and healthy, only. Always. Endlessly.

The sea that stretches in the distance and far beyond your eye-line is in a state of the rest. The moon has calmed the tides or so it seems. As you crouch down, feet flat to the floor on the lawn, you hope she'll do the same for you.

There's a crunch of gravel in the distance, and you know exactly where it's coming from. Who's stepping across it in search of stars.

Part of you hates that he's awake so suddenly.

Most of you loves it.

Coming to crouch behind you, Jeongguks knees spread to either side of your body. Chin resting on your shoulder, he restrains from holding you—but only because he's aware of the fact you left. Doesn't want to trap you.

"Watcha doin," he mumbles, voice croaky, the heat of his body warming you up. "Fuckin' freezing, B. You've no trousers on."

Nor does he. In fact, he's dressed even more poorly than you are, in just a pair of boxers. Though summer is approaching, the nights here are still worthy of a padded jacket. Jeongguk's temperature is running warm, like it usually does when he sleeps. If he were to hug you—which he won't until he's certain you even want that—you'd realise this.

"S'not too bad," you say of the temperature, even though you know your nose must be ever so blushed.

"Is too," he counters quietly, the movement of his jaw as he talks forcing his chin to dig a little into your shoulder. It doesn't hurt, though. Never hurts. Jeongguk will never hurt you, not really. You do that all by yourself. "And you didn't answer me. What are you doing out here?"

"Couldn't sleep," you reply without giving him space to breathe, because honesty feels too daunting.

"Did you try?"

"To sleep?"

"Mhmm," he sleepily mumbles.

The truth of the matter is that no, you didn't. Imaginary sheep remain uncounted.

Turning your head to face him, you are pleased to see him in this state: hair fluffy, eyes puffy. He's never cuter than he is in times like these.

The moon reflects on his lip ring, specks of glitter still on his skin.

"Pretty," you say, 'cause you think he deserves to know exactly what he is.

"Pretty," he just repeats back. Is soft in his tone. Gentle. Calming.

Maybe it wasn't the moon you needed after all.

Jeongguk's lips are feathery as they brush with yours, closing down slowly. The application and removal of pressure works like clockwork, just like it always does, and the subtle swipe of his tongue against your lips is welcome. You reciprocate. Swipe your tongue against his, and encourage him to intrude—but he doesn't. Not really.

While yes, on a technicality, his tongue is in your mouth, it's not how it usually is. It's slow. Lamblike. A soft reminder of how tender he can be.

"Come back to bed," he says quietly, barely pulling away. "Wanna sleep with you." He clutches your jaw. Kisses you again, but this time lets his tongue stroke against yours a little more deliberately. "Want you to stay with me, B."

He's so much needier when he's sleepy. So much cuter. Daintier.

"Don't want you to ever leave," he whispers. Kisses you again, so that you can't reject his request.

Leave what? His bed? His life? His embrace?

He doesn't clarify, and you don't ask for it, either.

Instead, nose resting against his, eyes closed, a serene smile on your lips, you say, "Ever? I have to stay forever?"

Jeongguk nods. Kisses you quickly. "That'd be preferable."

But there's an all too large awareness looming on Jeongguk that you left .

History is repeating itself, and it's so much more bitter the second time around.

There's an embarrassment that comes with this acknowledgement.

Perhaps it's his own fault. Perhaps he hasn't really given you enough time to process everything. Hayun has always been a sticking point, and her being here has shifted the mood completely, but Jeongguk really thought progress had been made. That maybe you and him were starting to figure things out.

But you've both got experiences that taint this stage of falling for someone else. Your defences have been up ever since you came to realise that maybe you've been lying to yourself about your true feelings for Jeongguk.

So to look across dining tables and be confronted with the woman he once thought he'd marry?

It sorta killed you, a little—or at least it kills the idea of longevity with Jeongguk. A pact was made, after all, and Jeongguk is a man of his word.

It's all you can think about whenever you look at her, so fuck knows what he must be thinking about when he does.

He loved her once. Her, with her cherry red lips and feline smile. Her, with her ambition and her wit. Her, with everything that you're not.

Confusion comes with the confrontation of the girls once loved by the man you adore.

"Is it not strange?" you ask, turning to face away from him. "Having to be around Hayun all the time? Is it not awful for you? Don't you"—

"No," he interrupts your final question. Doesn't care to hear it. Knows you're in your head again over stupid shit. "B, how many times"—

"You were in love with her," you stress the words softly. A fight isn't what you're looking for. Not in the slightest. You're just trying to understand . "When I first met you, Gguk, you were in love with her."

Knowing what he knows now, feeling how he feels now, he isn't so sure.

"Was I?"

Ignorant to the fact that Jeongguk thinks you're incomparable to her, you don't fully trust his questioning.

"Yes."

Jeongguk takes a second. Knows that whatever he says next will dictate the rest of the conversation.

There's something about Hayun that just gets under your skin. No matter how much reassurance you get from him, there always will be. It's his own fault, he thinks. Knows that he's the one who informed your opinion, but fails to realise that you wouldn't have liked her regardless. She's just not your kind of person. Too critical in her gaze. Too stand-offish. It's really not hard to understand why she caused Jeongguk to develop a myriad of complexes.

"Well, what about Seokjin?" He questions now, not looking for a fight either, but definitely a little agitated in his tone. "If you're so over him, why were you comparing me to him earlier?"

"You know that's"—

"Different?" He scoffs, but still holds you. Holds you tighter, actually. "How? How am I meant to hear a comparison to your ex and not think you still have feelings for him?"

Funny, how similarly you view one another's exes.

Jeongguk is sick of Seokjin. Has met the fucker fewer than a handful of times, yet he has to bear the weight of his bad behaviour as if he's responsible for it. It's not fucking fair.

And yeah, maybe he's just tried, and a little cranky, and perhaps he should have just let you leave like you apparently so desperately wanted to—but that's the difference between him and Seokjin.

Jeongguk never wanted you to leave.

The gravity of his questioning is too sharp of a blow even for him. He lets you go. Pulls away from the embrace he's been keeping you safe in.

"I don't lie to you, B," he says, getting to his feet. The closeness he was begging for feels tainted, now. Forced. Uncomfortable. "I tell you everything ."

Everything except the part where I'm in love with you.

"I never said you didn't," you insist quietly, resentful of your brain for turning this into an argument. You don't want to argue with him. Not in the slightest. You don't understand why you are. "Don't go. Please."

"I don't get it," he stresses, his voice quiet, too. "You're pushing me away and yet you still want me close. I don't understand. B, I just... What am I supposed to do?"

The defeat in your sloped shoulders and furrowed brows when you get to your feet and turn to face him is evident. All you can do is shrug.

"Gguk, I'm scared."

He nods. Knows this. Is scared, too.

When you first met, you were both scared of what it could mean to get over your exes.

This is different. Seokjin is a fracture in time; a notch in your bedpost.

Jeongguk is so much more than Seokjin could ever be. Sure, he doesn't have his life figured out yet, and maybe you've both got room to grow—but you can grow with him. Together.

"Okay, so tell me," he encourages. Holds his hand out, and when you take it, he draws you closer. Strokes your arms. Presses a kiss to your forehead. "Tell me what you're scared of."

You're not very good with anatomy. If anyone was to ever ask you about the location of your heart, you're not sure you'd choose the correct side of your chest.

What you are sure of, is that if anyone was to ever peer inside it, the chambers of your heart would be full to the brim with the very essence of him.

They'd hear his laughter echo, and the way his hushed moans vibrate into nothingness. They'd find glitter, and gold; evidence of you and him coexisting just like you're supposed to.

They'd find origami birds, and tiny folded stars, too. Chess pieces and purple starfuckers; lip rings and lace bras hidden beneath pillows. They'd marvel at how such a small organ could be so flooded with evidence of another person—and if they were to see him the way in which you see him, then maybe they'd love him, too.

There's no denying it now.

To him, yes, but not to yourself.

You're in love with Jeon Jeongguk.

And it terrifies you.

"Hmm?" he implores you to open up to him.

"I wasn't supposed to like you this much," you feebly admit, because there's no chance in hell you're baring your soul just like that, but know that you at least have to give him something. Give him the chance to reject you. "But now I do, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

He's silent for what feels like a lifetime. In reality, it's maybe three, four seconds. No more than five. Just enough time for him to digest your words. They go above the territorial need of not wanting to share. They're an indication that maybe he isn't totally insane. That maybe he could love someone and be loved in return.

But he's leaping. Knows that there's a far stretch between 'like' and 'love'. A bridge needs to be crossed, and he doesn't know if you're willing to do that.

"Guess it depends," he says, trying to remain calm even if his heart is crashing against his ribs like the waves against the shore in the distance. Wants to kiss you. Thinks it's the only thing that will get his head straight. Swears you must be a fucking drug. He's having withdrawals. Needs you in his system.

"On?"

"Are you happy?"

A simple question without a simple answer.

Yes, you're happy. Happy with your life, with your friends, with your blooming potential within the local gallerist network. Happy when you're with Jeongguk, and happy whenever you think of him, too.

But you're delicate in such a way that happiness feels underserved. As if it will be stolen from you. You're unable to ever fully revel in it for fear of losing it.

Your hesitation is noticed, so Jeongguk meets you halfway. Pulls you close, and wraps his arms around you. Holds you tight. Says, "I think I'm happiest when I'm with you, B."

"You're just saying that," you mumble against his bare chest, and then realise how bloody cold he must be, even if he radiates nothing but warmth. Feel bad for dragging him away from comfort. "Look, let's just go to bed. We're both too tired for this shit. We can talk about it in the morning."

He just nods. Agrees. Follows your lead.

While his body is tired, Jeongguk's mind is not.

When you finally settle into sleep—in his room, this time—he's the one who can't drift off. Just sort of stares at you, and wonders how the fuck something so straightforward is so complicated.

He fails to realise that just because he knows he likes you too doesn't mean you know it.

It's not like he told you. Told you all sorts of lewd shit about your pussy, but never actually told you just how much he adores the way your body rocks a little when you laugh, nor how much he likes the almond-shape that you file your nails into. Has never told you how much he cherishes the fact you challenged him in the way you did on that first Dionysus night. Isn't even sure you remember it.

But he does.

Keeps the memories stored away in his mind where only the fondest of thoughts are allowed to go.

He's never given it much thought, but memories of Hayun go elsewhere. Somewhere between the sections reserved for painful and passive moments. Those sections self-delete the files. It's why he doesn't realise. Doesn't hold onto them.

But he holds on to you when he eventually sleeps.

And when you wake?

Holds you even tighter .

Stretching out a little, you curl back into comfort with him. "Morning."

"Morning, baby."

Oh, god . You're going to die .

He presses a kiss to your head. Hooks his leg over you so that you can't leave.

Yep. Death imminent.

"Sleep okay?" he asks, as if you weren't both outside at ass o'clock debating the very nature of you... 'friendship.'

Surprisingly, you did actually manage to sleep fairly well after it all. Had worn yourself out with all those mental gymnastics of yours.

Adjusting your head to look at him, you hum a confirmation. Spend a moment or so just taking him in.

Eyes shut, his dark lashes splay over the tops of his cheeks. The curves of his face contrast with the harshness of his angles; full cheeks, sharp jaw. Soft lips, hard lip ring. Delicate cupids bow, defined childhood scar along his cheekbone, indented on his freckled skin. A man of complexities, Jeongguk will always confuse you to a certain degree.

"Had a dream about you," he mumbles quietly. Is still half asleep.

"Oh yeah?" You smile, toying with some of his hair.

"Mhmm," he nods, the side of his face rubbing against the soft cotton on the pillowcases. Squeezes you even tighter. God, he loves being with you. "You said you like me."

And suddenly your cheeks flame. You try and squirm away, but he doesn't let you. Just laughs.

Knowing you as intimately as he does, Jeongguk knows you were bullshitting when you said you'd talk about it in the morning. Knows that he has to be the one to mention it, but knows that anything other than jokes about it will make you get all defensive.

"So cute, B," he teases, grip tight around you as you flounder.

"Fuck off!"

"You like me soooo much," he teases, because it's sweet, and it is cute, and it makes him feel all fuzzy inside. The way you're wriggling and trying to get out of his embrace confirms one thing: yes, he would still love you as a worm.

"I like it when you shut up," you scowl, accepting your fate of being trapped in his arms. You kinda hate yourself for admitting it. Kinda feel awful for the fact he's not said it back.

You fail to realise that it's because he's a boy, and is stupid.

But then again, so are you - how could you not know the poor boy is beside himself with giddy excitement over the fact you finally gave him an inclination as to how you feel.

"No," he grins, eyes still closed, arms still tight. "You like me."

"I think you're a tit."

He opens just a single eye. Pulls his head back, and sticks out his bottom lip. "Okay? We both know you like tits"—

" God ."

" Jeongguk , not God, baby," he corrects you. Calls you baby as if there's a ring around your finger and both of your names on a joint lease. "Sex God, yes, but just a mere mortal man unfortunately."

"You're so fuckin' annoying," you grumble—yet when he loosens his grip, your arm slinks around his waist instead.

"Gotta get up," he says. Forces you up with him. Sees your naked body for 0.1 seconds and drags you back to bed with him. Decides, "Breakfast can wait."

Though on a technicality, it could be argued that breakfast is exactly what he has before you eventually surface from his room half an hour later.

Hair half up in a claw clip, one of Jeongguk's shirts french-tucked into your jeans, there's a glow about you as you walk side by side up to the main house. He's talking nonsense about a film you've never seen, and you're just enjoying listening to him. You encourage his enthusiastic points, and promise that you'll watch it and compare notes with him.

By the time you approach the kitchen, everyone else is already there.

"What time do you call this?" Yoongi scolds, but Jeongguk just shrugs. Sort of positions himself in front of you. Reaches behind himself to tuck you a little further out of any judgemental eyes.

"Time you got a watch," Jeongguk deadpans.

Yoongi smiles. Doesn't actually give a shit. Is just teasing. "I've got a watch. It says it's about time you got a new joke."

"Oh, shit," Jeongguk gasps, then reaches into the pocket of his loose-fit jeans. Paired with a white vest and baggy sweatshirt, he's every bit the nineties heartthrob. The chain he always wears is on show, and it drives you a little wild. Rummaging around in his pocket —"I could have sworn I had a new joke in here"— everyone knows what he's gonna do.

They're proven correct when he pulls his hand out of his pocket, his middle finger pointing to the sky.

"You're a child," Namjoon grins.

Jeongguk doesn't deny it. Just beams as he sinks into the sofa, leaving a you-sized space next to him.

You glance over to Danbi, who outstretches her legs to fill the space beside her. Rids you of your options. Smirks in your direction. You're welcome.

Narrowing your eyes in her direction as you take your seat, Jeongguk seemingly abandons all previous restraints he had. Tucks his hand between your legs and holds your knee.

From across the room, Hayun's gaze burns into you.

And yet the soft stroke of Jeongguk's thumb against your legs soothes the scorching arrows she's firing at you.

The rest of the group are embroiled in conversations, the TV also on, so no one notices when you lean over to speak quietly, just loud enough for Jeongguk to hear you.

"Hayun's staring," you tell him, 'cause you've decided that playing it cool has done no one any favours so far.

You're a little bit insane, but Jeongguk already knows this. Likes it. There's no point trying to pretend like you're not just to one-up Hayun. Pretending like you don't care will only serve to hurt you in the long-run.

Jeongguk tilts his head to look at you. Lets a slightly lopsided grin settle on his lips as says, "Well, yeah." His eyes drop to your body, then back up to your lips. Linger for a moment. Finally reach your eyes again. "You look fit as fuck. I'd be staring, too."

"I don't think that's why she's staring."

"Okay," Jeongguk accepts, knowing that even if the conversation is unserious, you've mentioned it for a reason. His hand comes to tuck a little strand of hair behind your ear, then clasps your chin and tilts your head upwards. Gets you looking at him with narrowed eyes and a curious smile. His fingers drop to your collar, tweaking it a little, as he says, "I've had this shirt for years. She probably knows it isn't yours."

"Possession is, like, ninety percent of the law," you assure him, a little pouty, and it takes everything in him not to kiss you.

But you're with friends, and shit is still up in the air, and Jeongguk doesn't understand what the fuck is happening between the pair of you. He thinks you're a thing, but, like, he isn't sure and that makes this whole situation so incredibly messy.

What he does know is that Hayun could be screaming blue murder and he wouldn't give a shit. The more he comes to realise how nice it is to be with someone who actually treats him with an ounce of respect, the more he distances himself from his former feelings.

"Sounds like you're trying to exploit a legal loophole," he counters right back.

"So what if I do?" You say, shamelessly flirting in your quiet corner, friends ignorant. Your stomach is full of butterflies, charging around, wings tickling your insides. "Maybe I'll break the law on purpose."

The way you hold your wrists together and present them to Jeongguk—knowing full well he kinda has this weird thing for wrists—is nothing short of cruel.

He knows exactly what you're insinuating. Knows he'd die to get you in a pair of cuffs. Instead, says, "Behave yourself."

It's no use. He's already got a semi.

Hayun is, at least, now in conversation with Taehyung. Something about the interview she had. You're not listening in.

There's also no need for Jeongguk to drag the flirt out. The primary purpose of it was to distract you. Keep your mind on him. Jeongguks secret weapon to ease your mind is to keep you locked on him.

Works every single time.

"You're trouble, B," he smiles fondly, before getting to his feet.

There's no discussion of where he's going—just through to the kitchen. Wants to adjust his trousers, and could also do with some water. You let him go, not really caring to stop him. Autonomy is a wonderful thing.

Instead, you just join in the conversation at hand: A debate over who won the Jilympics, for it was never declared the day before. You come to Seoyeon's defence. Insist your team won. Know full well you didn't.

When Jeongguk returns, you quickly say, "Right Gguk? You agree with me?"

He's got no fuckin' idea what you're on about. Says, "Yeah. Of course. You're right."

The smugness of your smile lets him know what a grave mistake he just made.

"Gguk!" Namjoon groans.

Jimin just smirks. Keeps the taunt of 'pussy-whipped bitch' to himself.

"What?!"

"His word is final," you assert before any clarification can be given. "Power in numbers. More people think our team won"—

"Wait, what?!"

"Shhh, Gguk, I'm doing important business," you hush him—but suddenly your mouth is covered by his palm.

"Don't listen to her!" He wails. "She's a fraud!"

Naturally, the only thing you can do in this situation is bite his finger.

"Ah— shit . Mother fucker!"

"What Jeongguk means to say is Team Seoyeon won," you smile with such nonchalance that your friends can't help but laugh at how ridiculous and petty both you and Jeongguk are.

Match made in heaven, some would say.

When he sits back down, he just sits straight on you. Is deliberately annoying. Not a single person bats an eyelash. It's expected of him. They've known him long enough to know what he's like. In fact, there are only a few laps in the room that haven't been sat on by Jeongguk and his need to be a petulant brat.

Nobody sees—'cause Jeongguk's obscuring you—but you bite him again. Just the shoulder blade. He's sitting in such a position that you can't move your hands, so it's your only real offensive weapon.

It's cute, Jeongguk thinks. Cute that you think you're strong enough to hurt, and cute that you've chosen to bite him. He turns his head over his shoulder. Mumbles, "Careful. I'm into that."

In all honesty, he's passive when it comes to using teeth in the bedroom. Likes a little bite on occasion, but by no means needs it. Just knows that you'll recoil in disgust, and it'll make him laugh.

You do just as he expects.

And like clockwork, he giggles to himself. Slides off your lap, but remains a little sprawled over you, just 'cause he can be.

Again, no one really pays it much notice.

Instead, the morning crawls on by. There's no attempt to hurry it up. In all honesty, the constant activities have worn everyone out.

If Jeongguk and Hoseok hadn't planned such a chill afternoon, then they would have been tempted to cancel it in favour of chucking a movie on the TV.

Much like your birthday—and actually inspired by it—they get everyone crafting. In this case, it's painting. A couple dozen canvases have been purchased, and the rest of the supplies were sneakily stolen from your place of work by Hoseok. You recognise it all—the brushes, the paints, the aprons—and find yourself laughing.

So often watching other people paint, you never really get the chance to do it yourself. It's a shame, considering how much you enjoy it. You're no Picasso, but you're not bad.

The rules are simple for the activity, so much as the fact that there are no rules. Knowing that their activity would fall towards the end of a busy weekend, the boys had settled on something of a little slower pace.

A playlist of chill songs curated by Jeongguk hums from the speaker in the kitchen, the large glass doors open, turning the lawn and house into a hybrid space. The supplies are kept inside, but you all opt to paint outside.

Laying flat on your tummy, you're painting the view ahead of you. It's all shades of blue and little else, an uninterrupted horizon that extends for miles upon miles.

In a small cluster with Danbi and Hoseok, it's nice to be with your people.

Yoongi and Seoyeon are in their own little world, doing portraits of one another, and Taehyung has roped the rest of the boys into posing for him in human pyramid formation. Jeongguk and Namjoon are stable as the bottom pillars, with Jimin taking the top spot.

You're not really sure what Nabi and Hayun are doing. Choose not to glance their way. It's a shame, because you really do like Nabi.

The awkwardness is beginning to grate on you. All you want is an easy life.

Regardless of the current state of affairs, once upon a time, Hayun had been liked by everyone here. She was a fundamental part of the friendship group. It sort of makes you think that maybe you should make an effort with her.

Not in some lame-ass attempt to be a 'cool' girl. You've already decided that you don't care to be one. Moreso as a white flag. You intend on sticking around, and so you're gonna have to learn to live with one another.

"I'm not saying I want to be besties with her," you tell Danbi. "But it wouldn't hurt to at least try and find some common ground, would it?"

Danbi mulls it over. Isn't so sure. Doesn't really think you should have to make an effort at all.

"Look, I won't lie," you add on when Danbi doesn't respond quickly enough. "She irritates me, but what else am I supposed to do? Can't go through life acting as if she doesn't exist."

"You can," Danbi assures you. "I would."

As much as you know this to be absolutely true, you're just not wired in the same way as Danbi.

The very first night you met Hayun, you were unable to keep your cool. Argued with her over the dumbest shit just because you were so incensed that she had the audacity to question your presence in Jeongguk's life.

Things are different, now.

You're secure in your place. He's made it that way. Made it clear that he puts you above Hayun.

He's trying.

It's only fair that you try, too.

When Jeongguk finally comes to join you, also laying flat on his tummy, but opposite you on the other side of your canvas, you choose against raising the topic. Decide not to tarnish the simplicity of him choosing to be with you now with any negative thoughts.

Not looking at him as you mumble nonsense about nothing, you continue to add hues of blue to the canvas, and don't object when he picks up a thin brush and starts to add pretty little stars in your sky.

Painting has always been a group activity for the pair of you. He can put it in the living room next to your tits.

The afternoon dissolves into an easy state of being. Mindless chatter is paired with the act of quite literally watching paint dry, but no one finds it boring. Respite had been needed, and you're quietly smitten with the fact that Jeongguk is one of the masterminds behind it. So big brain of him. So sexy.

Lazing next to you, paint smeared on his cheeks by your messy fingers earlier that afternoon, Jeongguk really can't be bothered to shower before dinner. Moans and groans, until you say you'll shower with him.

He's up and on his feet, holding a towel by his door within no time at all.

"Chop chop," he tells you, pretty face ever so pleasant. Eyes wide and round, there's something about him—hair dishevelled, skin covered in paint—that just takes you back to the early days. Gets you grinning from ear to ear.

Holding out his hand as you stand, Jeongguk pulls you closer. Presses a teeny tiny kiss to your lips, 'cause he can't ever seem to stop now that the boundary has been broken down.

"We're a mess," you smile against his lips.

Literally and figuratively.

And as you step out of his room, hand in hand with lovesick smiles on your lips, only to find Nabi and Hayun doing their makeup for the evening ahead in the communal sitting room, you realise things are about to get a whole lot messier.

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