#i will end this post now 🏃🏻‍♀️

[kindahoping4forever]

Luke @ The 5SOS Show Tour London

[kevinsdsy]

all for the game social media au — summer olympics edition (pt. 4): let the shenanigans and silliness consume me now before the olympics end and i will most likely stop doing these posts too 🫣🏃🏻‍♀️💨

[wonuwoe]

on the contrary | yjh (m)

pairing: ai!jeonghan x human!reader summary: you knew the risks of pursuing a member from 53V3NT33N but maybe your certain privileges have been fueling this illusion of a possible connection with J30NGHΛN, who surprisingly sparks your interest with his deep curiosity about the other sides of humanity. would you be willing to continue despite the looming deceit that you might get roped into? rating: 18+ | word count: 12k genre/au: angst, smut, sci-fi, ai-idol!au warnings/content: depictions of blood, explicit sexual content, voyeurism (through hearing), vaginal fingering, penetrative sex, lowkey corruption kink ngl bye 🏃🏻‍♀️

a/n: collabs seems to be really the only way for me to post lmao. thank you @idyllic-ghost for hosting the Seventeen Sci-Fi Collab and for making this very gorgeous banner! also, shoutout to everyone on the server especially to the new people i met for being with me while working on this! ig this is my writer debut in the seventeen community so nice to meet you all except for minors, who are not allowed to interact with this post :)

After the Earth miraculously survived due to some external force when the sun exploded a century ago, humans have learned to integrate into the new solar system that the planet ended up in, where alien life exists. Other planets in the previous solar system went through the same fate, being pushed away from each other and ending up in different parts of the universe.

At first, humans were cautious and ready to fight, but the aliens were surprisingly welcoming to our planet. Hence, those who didn’t die from ‘The Great Journey’ or from trying to fight the aliens were welcomed into the new solar system.

How we completely integrated was through the materials and assistance of our sister planets in exchange for human labor. And while what humans knew of technology was very limited, the resources from the aliens allowed us to create artificial life forms called "automaton". These robots served as workers when humans couldn't, but eventually, there was no need for human labour at all.

And in order to pay back the help the aliens gave, humans used automatons, which went through extensive development until artificial sentient life was eventually created. Now, these automatons were human-like in looks and had human consciousness, but they could not bleed and were stronger than we ever could be. 

Currently, there are even different levels of automatons: level 3 are the workers, level 2 are the caretakers, and level 1 are the celebrities. Among the level 1 robots are the music group 53V3NT33N (SEVENTEEN), where each talented member represents two human states of mind. One member named J30NGHΛN, is particularly of deceit and curiosity, and yet it didn’t stop you from hoping to get to know him even further.

You couldn't believe how quickly your addiction is becoming, recently meeting up with someone during your lunch break for a merch trade of level one robots.

53V3NT33N, one of the idol groups that made you competitive with other fans in any of their group-related promotions. 

It began over a few months ago, solely because of your curiosity when you attended one of the music festivals your friends invited you to in the summer. Among the several groups that performed, one of them randomly caught your eye, which you did not expect at all. You found out later that he was part of 53V3NT33N and that his name was J30NGHΛN, the member that has both deceit and curiosity infused in his pre-programmed personality.

That should've made you cautious but no, instead, it drove you to finally indulge in this fangirling lifestyle that surprised your family and friends. They were aware of your skeptical view of this whole AI thing from the beginning but that was before you realize that AI-idol robots can be this human enough so you didn't mind checking them out.

They're considered as one of the top groups of the galaxy, having everyone crazy over them including one of your closest friends, Bona. She’d been a fangirl since you were younger, which is the case for most AI-idol groups’ fans, starting either during elementary or high school so you couldn’t help but feel a bit behind.

It might be pretty late for you but how could you during that time when all you do is study in order to please your parents, particularly your father, who’s the founder of one of the biggest companies in the entertainment industry. So you understood why he was hard on you, probably hoping just like the rest of your family that you'd follow his steps but made it clear when you started university that you have no intentions of doing so.

Now that you're almost done with your masters, they've backed off completely and even supported you in this new lifestyle. As strange as it sounded, your mother has somehow convinced everyone in the family that this is just a way for you to de-stress from your rigorous post-grad schedule.Though a part of it is true, it's also the first time you've wanted something other than what your parents wanted for you.

Being the CEO's daughter did make your new hobby very easy as money was never an issue to you growing up. It's been a privilege that you're aware of but did not grasp fully until you found out that 53V3NT33N is under your father’s company, fuelling your new obsession with the entertainment industry as a whole.Aside from financial advantages, you have special VIP access to pretty much everything. 

However, you try to not use these benefits unless you have to as it would be unfair to other fans who don't have the privilege that you do.

.

Today, you’re here at a hi-touch event with Bona who became very enthusiastic once she saw your slightest interest in the group that she's been a fan of.

"is it usually this long?" you asked, a bit impatient about this long queue that you're lining up for. Adjusting to this lifestyle is a bit hard for you but at least you have Bona helping whenever she can. 

"of course! they've been very hot in the charts so we're getting new members in the fandom, including you!" she giggled excitedly, giving you a hug so lighten yourself up, not wanting to kill her enthusiasm with your souring mood.

With Bona’s warning, you did expect it to be like this and yet you weren't prepared enough. Albeit it's your first time, you know the larger fandom power of AI-idol groups hold regardless of size compared to human entertainers. Having VIP access may have a lot of perks but it didn’t help much when you chose to get the best experience through this.

You seldom participate in a more intimate setting with idols until today so your mind has been filled with worry about how it would go. Bona’s there to reassure you that it would be fun but you're quite nervous since you'll be meeting all the members this close for the first time. This is out of your territory and the possibility of embarrassing yourself in front of them scared you nuts since this morning.

And you’re unsure how you'll be once you face J30NGHΛN. 

The line thankfully sped up, your mind pausing for a moment when you briefly locked eyes with one of them. You spotted J30NGHΛN right away, standing in the middle near the end but that one glance your way was enough to make you even feel more nervous than you already are.

When it was finally your time, you brightly smiled at the first member on the line who's been smiling at you with his eyes. It eased up your nerves that you high-fived him with excitement as soon as he put both of his palms up. Subsequently, proceeding to the rest of the members became easy until you finally reached J30NGHΛN who laid out both of his hands to take yours right away.

It surprised you because the other members were either simply putting their palms up or interlocking their hands with yours for a brief second before moving on to the next. You weren't sure if it was the nerves but you haven't seen J30NGHΛN do this with other fans so far. Hands rising from the table and palms up as he takes both of your hands while looking straight into your eyes.

"hi, J30NGHΛN" you're relieved that your voice came out steady, mustering up a smile despite the rapid beating of your heart.

"hello..." he starts, eyes shifting down from yours and it makes you conscious of how you look. You did try today more than usual to hopefully match the beautiful idols that you've met who are close to perfection in beauty.

"___?" the soft mention of your name brought your attention back to him, noticing him reading it from your VIP pass.

Of course, it was just your name and probably the VIP pass that he's used to and nothing else. He probably won't remember you after this, seeing thousands of fans on a daily basis.

"it's my first time" you blurted out, earning a small chuckle from him. You silently berated yourself for breaking your composure but you noticed the emerging amusement in his eyes at your sudden remark, causing you to warm up in further embarrassment.

"it is? nice to meet you then" the corner of his lips lifted a bit as his eyes returned to yours. You tried smiling brightly as you did towards W00Z1 earlier to hide any more possible reactions from him but it faltered when he started running both his thumbs across your knuckles, tracing each one of them.

"n-nice to meet you too" 

You didn't mean to stutter but he took you off guard. Even more so when he interlocks his fingers with yours just when you were about to let go of his hands. He gave them a brief squeeze too that you didn't realize the line moved and you were already facing the member next to him. Good thing you recovered quickly, already getting used to holding their hands and making small conversations as you pass by each of the remaining members.

Once you were back in your seat near the front, you tried talking to the other fans around you while waiting for Bona to be done. However, your eyes can't stop straying towards J30NGHΛN and watch how he interacts with the other fans. He definitely didn't repeat what he did to you earlier so confusion washes over you.

After a while, you see a small smile grazing his lips while he is talking with a fan. It might be towards them or your obvious ogling because he suddenly glances up, capturing your eyes staring at him.

Bona hopping in beside you broke your staring contest, turning to her with enthusiasm like nothing happened. You debated on telling her you're confusing exchange with J30NGHΛN because who knows, it could just be a normal fan interaction and you were just imagining things all along. She will for sure tease you of your growing delusion towards him if ever.

You don't really know him yet but he seems to respond well to fans' advances. That could simply be part of their fan service training though, so all your experiences earlier are only part of VIP perks and you just got lucky to receive those random special interactions. However, when it was time for everyone to leave, you felt someone staring but didn't wanna think anymore if it could be him or not. 

Your curiosity took over though, so you did, catching J30NGHΛN's piercing eyes again before you exited the room.

It could simply be J30NGHΛN's curious nature as he has never met you before. He should be feeling the same way as he does with new fans but he found you amusing instead. The staff treating you differently didn't help either, fueling his interest in you some more. Other VIP fans were treated the same way lest they break the rules so he couldn't help but be more curious about who you could possibly be.

This was why during the fan sign where he saw you again, he couldn't help but initiate the interaction this time. J30NGHΛN took one of your hands before you could say something and he watched the confusion from last time return to your pretty face. You weren't as nervous as before but he definitely surprised you.

"can i ask you a question?" you felt the need to start talking to him right away to avoid the repeat from the last time. Now that you're finally caving into your interest in the group, Bona was insisting on indoctrinating you, briefing you on fan etiquette including how fan signs usually go. With the number of members of 53V3NT33N, you ought to be efficient unlike before.

"how much do you know about humans?"

You prod with a question that he wouldn't have expected and you see his face change from expectant to confusion with your question. He took a while to respond, probably waiting for the staff's reaction behind him. But once they didn't intervene, the previous look was back on his handsome face.

"well, i know enough to entice them",

The bright smile on his face didn't match the amusement in his eyes and somehow it gave you confidence, returning it with an impish grin.

"enough to make them even more obsessed with you?"

You're testing the waters, see if he can detect the change in your demeanour. It's a bit difficult when he's holding your hand like this because you swear he only holds others' hands after signing their albums earlier while you were waiting for your turn.

"it's working, no? since you're back and in a fansign this time"

It made you speechless that he was able to remember you from the last time. He's also keeping up with your flirting attempt and smoothly evaded your first question. You were expecting him to be taken aback because you doubt other fans have asked him that but then it could also be that he's programmed or trained to answer vaguely to be able to smoothly change the topic of any conversation.

His quip didn't distract you fully so your amused smile remained. For the entirety of the conversation, his eyes never left yours during this entire conversation so you couldn't even hide the surprise in your face when his thumb starts caressing your knuckles slowly, just like last time.

The nerves returned once again but you did your best to keep your guard, focusing more and figuring out what he could be thinking right now. It's a futile attempt but you have no other choice other than to distract the increasing beating in your heart.

"it might, or maybe i just wanted a fan sign experience" you cheekily remarked before getting up and grabbing your signed album, not even waiting for his response nor looking back to see his reaction.

.

That exchange prompted J30NGHΛN to snoop around online about you when the group finally had their "free time" later on. You were different compared to the first time he met you, not timid around him that he felt like he was wrong about you all along. The staff treated you differently too, never hurried you nor stopped you from asking those questions that would've gotten other fans banned so you must have some connection to the company.

He was running out of time before the managers came back to take them to their dorms as they, unfortunately, still do have a curfew. But by saving grace, he found an old article about their company's founder, included in it was a family picture where he recognized you right away, despite how young you were in it. J30NGHΛN finds himself not surprised at what he found out, causing everything to make sense now.

What was not making sense was how everyone didn't seem to recognize you or acknowledge who you were in public. Maybe you wanted it this way, keep everything low-key so you won't have the media hovering on your every move.

Something that he wishes for himself and his brothers sometimes. He's been having an inkling that they're being monitored 24/7 so he gave up on the thought a long time ago. It's still on his mind sometimes, especially after knowing this information about you. It deepens his curiosity about humans when you do this out of nowhere. Even now that he's lying in bed, recharging for another full-packed schedule tomorrow, he couldn't let the curiosity go.

.

Bona grilled you with questions as soon as you asked to meet up with her and Somin for this possible event that you're planning.

"i can't believe i wasn't there! i would've loved to see you get smitten by him!" she sighs dreamily while Somin makes a face in the corner.

"anyways, why did you wanna see us in person on a Sunday morning?" she starts, already dismissing you and Bona's fangirling shenanigans. It wasn't that she wasn't a fan but she does have a different opinion when it comes to these kinds of things.

"this might sound crazy but i want to invite 53V3NT33N as a headliner for my first charity event"

"what?"

"look, i didn't think you liked him this much already"

Somin raises a brow at you but you just shrug off the slight judgment in her eyes. It wasn't your fault that your interactions with J30NGHΛN from the past two events have stayed in your mind, plaguing you every single time you see any of their faces on social media. Maybe it's normal since you're all new to this fangirling thing, the common rush when you're exploring something new.

Like your interest in J30NGHΛN that you definitely want to develop further.

But in order to do that, you have to see him more often which won't be possible unless you use your privilege. Just like other AI-idol groups, 53V3NT33N members were tightly monitored by your father's company. Interactions with anyone outside of their staff would have to either be as a normal fan or someone with connections to the company, like you.

That was why you approached your father with the idea, hoping he'd let you invite his most precious investment. He agreed, much to your surprise because he'll allow the whole band to perform as well. Of course, this got a few questions from other CEOs seeing as this would be the first time for 53V3NT33N to participate in a charity event. However, your father insisted that this would be a good strategy to improve their company's reputation, especially among the fans who have been disappointed on how they've been managing the group so far.

Although your father's decision was a shock to everyone, you know why he would say yes. Despite his stoic disposition when it comes to business, he is still your father so he must have been delighted at the thought of you finally indulging in the family business by involving the company in this event. Pulling some strings means nothing to him now that you're doing what he's been wanting all along.

.

When 53V3NT33N was briefed by their managers about the event and their supposed role in it, surprise and confusion passed over the members' faces as they'd never done this before.

"it will be hosted by our CEO's daughter"

The additional shock was evident this time, not knowing about your existence until now. They have no idea what you look like so some of them are intrigued while others are just calm, too calm that member S3UNGKWAN didn't miss. He waited until the managers left them, making sure they were out of the vicinity before blurting out what he noticed.

"why would she be interested in us?"

He starts off casually, hinting at something that made the rest of his members curious, except for the one he's staring at right now.

Some of the members turned to J30NGHΛN with astonished faces but did not say a word. It's not like they could freely talk about anything outside of what they're supposed to know. 

J30NGHΛN should've tried harder to blend in with the others' reaction when you were mentioned. He didn't think of the possibility that anyone would notice the change in his behaviour towards you during the hi-touch and fansign. He should've known that his members would quickly catch on and read him like an open book as he does to them.

"maybe she's taking over and needs us for promotion" H05H1 concluded, shutting down the impending commotion over J30NGHΛN's possible connection with you. Half of the members relent as usual while the others don't even after J30NGHΛN ignores their goading stares.

This move from you again surprised him. A charity that would launch you into this world he's been living in, even involving him in it. He wasn't sure if this was because of how he interacted with you or if this is just who you are. Humans have confused him since he opened his eyes and was thrust into the world to interact with them. At first, he did think that you'd be just like the others given your position in society but there's been more than meets the eye.

And he strangely finds it to feel more interested in you now.

You've had a meeting with the rest of the company CEOs and staff to finalize the launch of the charity event. Things went well and as soon as it was announced, it made a buzz online immediately, just like your father predicted. You weren't sure if it was his doing or just people's curiosity about you finally going public in your father's line of business. Several people were intrigued by your collaboration with 53V3NT33N because, with all your connections, they could be the far end of your options as headliners.

Perhaps you wanted more publicity among the younger population which would make sense since the charity event's purpose is to support various scholarships for undergraduate students. You admit that the nerves escalated in you, both reasons being your formal introduction to your father's realm and 53V3NT33N's presence at the event. Leading events like this seems like a second skin to you, impressing the business community and media with the success of the event.

You couldn't take all the credit of course as you've had Bona and Somin too, helping you to make sure that the event goes smoothly. Right before the event ended, you asked either of them to give the closing remarks, rushing over to request one of 53V3NT33N's managers before they could move to the group's next schedule.

"i'd like to personally thank the members for doing this event with me"

"we shall send 5.C0UP5 up here right away" one of them answered curtly.

"oh, it's actually J30NGHΛN that i want to talk to"

Managing to appear composed while asking was a challenge as you tried your best to not show the managers your growing interest. Speculations can't be avoided because you did see some of them pause, with their faces wearing bewilderment but mostly startled at your choice of member. They must've been wondering why because 5.C0UP5 is the leader of the group and, therefore, their representative when it comes to official business.

Eventually, they reverted back to their composure, immediately fetching the member that you requested and directing him to the assigned room where you're waiting.  You weren't sure how this would go, if finally talking to J30NGHΛN in private would change your previous interactions. During the entirety of the event, you felt his eyes on you which almost distracted you at times but thankfully, you were able to remain focused.

"well, this is a surprise" a soft voice from behind startles you. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself down, you turned to see him smiling at you. A different smile from before, the polite one until he noticed how you weren't prepared at all. Seems like all the confidence from earlier went down the drain, making it too obvious for J30NGHΛN why he's here.

"is it? you've been paying a lot of attention earlier"

You return his smile, your confidence slowly coming up to the surface after watching his puzzled face.

"did you ask for me because of that?"

He recovered fast which did not surprise you, noticing how fast his reflexes are when it comes to conducting himself to others. You hear the inquisitive tone in his voice, taunting you to reveal the real reason why you chose to talk to him over their leader.

"no?, well yes" you admit, the curiosity overpowering your nerves. You couldn't keep it any longer, having no other options to talk to him but this way. Based on the content you've watched along with Bona's passionate detailing of them, J30NGHΛN's known to be perceptive and blunt so there's no point in denying anything.

"why?"

"you almost distracted me earlier"

"i thought i was being subtle"

You've expected him to be straightforward but not to this extent, confirming your assumptions earlier. His admission made your nerves resurface and it didn't help that he hasn't stopped looking at you since he got here. Avoiding eye contact with him has been successful so far, your eyes scanning the interior of this room despite knowing that he was aware of his effects on you.

"why?"

Now it's your turn to ask. You're still not looking at J30NGHΛN but you've been plagued with so many questions since your first interaction with him. He takes his time in answering, shifting his eyes away from you allowing you to steal a glance at his handsome face for a bit. Your elation about what his answer might be bubbles back up a little, wondering if there could be any reason his attention was on you for the entirety of the event.

"your purpose of the charity" he answers cooly, returning his gaze on you. This time you almost couldn't look away but the little disappointment stirs in you. Averting from his gaze but you don't want him to see your face because all this reminded you again of your growing attachment to him.

And you need to refocus on his question.

"my parents have great connections so why not use them for this"

"so why us then? you could pull it off on your own, the event was a success"

"thanks to you and your brothers"

Your heartbeat rises at J30NGHΛN's compliment because you technically could but you know that it's his group that mainly contributed to it, being one of the top AI boy groups in the galaxy these days. Having them as the headliner for the event definitely drew in more sponsors and donations than you expected which pleased not only your father but the other CEOs of the company too.

"we just appeared and sang a few songs, it's all you" he commended, and your heart raced even more when you finally turned to look at him.

He looks ethereal with platinum blonde hair and his white silk outfit complimenting his honey-toned skin. You must've been quiet for a while because a light chuckle escaping from him snaps you back to where you are.

"why thank you" you beamed, looking away to hide your embarrassment of getting caught. Just as he was about to answer, your phone vibrated from your desk so you stood up and gathered your belongings, preparing to leave.

"wait where are you going?"

J30NGHΛN's surprised at his own reaction, wanting to talk to you more.

"i have a meeting with my supervisors"

"for? you're working for the company now?"

"no, for my masters"

You watched him getting more intrigued with your answers but you really have to go so pause in front of him, debating if he'll catch onto your next words.

"there's always next time" you smile one last time before exiting the room, leaving J30NGHΛN behind. The teasing smile from you along with your implication has taken him aback, not expecting your sudden confidence in wanting to talk to him again. He didn't have much time to wonder as his manager barged in right away as soon as you were out of the hallway.

.

When J30NGHΛN got back to the dorms during their free time, he was a bit shocked to see all his members waiting by the living room. He already has a hunch on what will go down with a playful look plastered on some of their faces.

"someone's definitely the favourite" M1NGYU starts, earning a laughing fit from the others as J30NGHΛN approaches them.

"i couldn't believe she was at our fan events before" W0NW00 drawls, remembering you from the fansign as he was the one sitting beside J30NGHΛN.

"yeah so J30NGHΛN-hyung, she invited us because of you.." D0KY30M added but J30NGHΛN just shrugs it off.

"she's just a fan, like the others" he clarified, dismissing all the teasing he's gotten since they found out that he already knew you all along. He tried pretending earlier when you first met up with the whole group but his reaction and the way you acted around him gave the others the indication already.

He's aware that they are not really buying his dismissal seeing as you literally requested to talk to him in private. It further flares up again when you requested to see him once more.

People have asked questions as to why you requested someone from an AI-idol to accompany you here in the office. Apart from your interest in him and his group, he's the closest one that you're comfortable with in the company, as strange as it sounds. You don't trust anyone here, not even your own father for many reasons. At least with J30NGHΛN, any possibilities of using you for their gain are lesser than actual humans who might work their way into the company through you.

As for J30NGHΛN, he immediately said yes once their manager informed him of your request. Of course, his members were confused but some are supportive since it'll just probably be company-related stuff. He also explained that this will be a great way to gain your trust, to hopefully improve how the company has been treating them in return.

So far, no one has confronted you directly about J30NGHΛN being with you during his free time. However, rumours did start when it started to occur more than what people initially expected. Some talks must've been going around the company because your father surprisingly gave you a visit to your office today.

"i know why you're here" you start, not giving him a chance to confront you first.

"i'm just here to see you, it's not often that i'm free"

"you've never been" you retorted quietly, rolling your eyes at him.

"i just need to know why because i thought it was a one-time thing for your charity event"

"i need him for one of my remaining coursework"

You technically didn't lie but you weren't telling the truth either. Your father hopefully knows you enough to figure out your little lie but because he was barely there, that didn't become the case.

You're saved by the bell when Bona and Somin barge in your door with food and shopping bags with them. Your father excuses himself right away, giving you girls time with each other given how busy you've become since agreeing to the deal he made with you.

"so..."

Bona eyes you excitedly as soon as she sits on the luxurious couch in front of you.

"you're hooking up with him? you know Salax exists for a reason right?"

Somin fires right away and you put a hand up to stop her and Bona with their impending questions.

"i'm not, why would you think that right away?"

It won't be your first time having companions and you've been to the planet before with her to explore its attractions so you couldn't really blame her for questioning your choices.

"damn girl, last time you were all timid when it comes to him but now look at you!"

Bona adds proudly as she unpacks all the food on the table.

"is it because he's a level 1? you wanted to try if you could?"

Damn Somin and her fiery mouth.

The idea is enticing, sure, as level 1 robots can never be found in Salax because they're seen as "too pure" to be on the planet for anyone's darkest desires. You don't know how to answer her question because although that's not your intention to request his presence when you're in the company, these thoughts sometimes pass through your mind.

There's something satisfying about having J30NGHΛN with you, a level 1 robot that no one can have no matter how rich they are, proving your status even to people in your level. His kind is unattainable with the company's interference each time a rumour comes up involving any of the celebrity robots.

That's not to say that it doesn't happen as there are corrupt CEOs from other entertainment companies who sometimes exploit their level 1 robots underground, completely in secrecy. Fans found out about it will not only cause major problems for the company but for the careers of their robots and future investments as well.

That won't hopefully be the case for you if you decide to pursue J30NGHΛN. Any rumours that may be speculated by the media will get shut down right away not to ruin both the groups' image and yours. In fact, the company might just endorse this as your "training" and possibly follow in your father's footsteps.

"who knows really, i'd rather have him than anyone in this company"

.

J30NGHΛN is surprisingly pleasant as a company. Each time you ask for him, he arrives promptly and just follows anything you ask him. You thought that he'd see you differently once he found out who you are but nothing much changed. If not, he continues how he's been treating you, though a little more reserved than before because of your position.

It's never boring with him like you initially thought. Maybe that could be part of his media training or his learning given that artificial intelligence hasn't stopped digesting information given by humans. When you've caught him trying to read through your papers, you've asked him if he ever had any interest in things outside of idol life.

"of course, we all do but especially me with my curiosity, remember?"

Sometimes you forget that each of these level-one automatons has pre-programmed emotions. It was one of the reasons why you became interested in 53V3NT33N, observing how those emotions are webbed into them during performances, and interviews, and how they are with different kinds of people.

"if you wanna learn something, i don't mind teaching you" you smile gently and his usual passive face responds brightly at your response.

Since then he's been slowly opening himself up regarding the current state of his cognition. He revealed that aside from what the company teaches them through their training, they have no other opportunities to explore their personal interests. You honestly felt bad for them, knowing they have consciousness and therefore, can feel.

There are also times that you forget him being an AI idol until his availability begins dwindling due to his lack of any more time in his "free" time. You are starting to think that you may not have any free time anymore because he's been using whatever limited time he has to accompany you.

"i barely see you these days"

J30NGHΛN said that he needed to leave early for another schedule so he can only stay with you today for a short period of time. You didn't mean to sound like a jealous person because there's nothing between you. He became a friend, well, a closer one now due to the amount of time he spent together.

Idol life has always been busy but you couldn't help but feel disappointed that he has no free time to see you. It's childish since it will never be his fault, just the company so you hate feeling like this.

"oh, it's cause i have to meet with the researchers and developers, they had new ones" he replied nonchalantly but his eyes stayed on you with curiosity.

"really? do you even have any more time to see your mechanics?"

You didn't mean to sound petty because they do have regular checkups with personal human mechanics. And with the addition of extra meetings with researchers and developers, you're pretty below their priority list despite being the CEO's daughter.

"it's mandatory __, why? do you want me to be always with you then?"

His direct question caught you off guard and you looked away from him, busying yourself with whatever was going on at the lab table. You should be used to it by now and he's been gradually influencing you when it comes to voicing out your thoughts but you still can't when he asks these kinds of questions. You could technically switch things around now that your father has been slowly passing his responsibilities to you but you refuse to be just like him and others who take advantage of anyone below their level.

"well, i'm always alone except for when Bona and Somin visit me" you admit, not realizing he followed you to where you are. You can feel him standing behind you and will yourself to face him, giving him a quizzical look.

"you didn't answer my question" he whispers, looking at you intently. 

There's something in his eyes that you haven't seen before and you couldn't even explain it. If it was because of what you said, you're unsure. J30NGHΛN may have understood what you were implying earlier but also couldn't, it's difficult to decipher with the impassive expression he's wearing.

You don't know how to answer him, embarrassment flooding in you again like every time you turn skittish because of him. J30NGHΛN waits for your answer but he must've understood your silence because he surprises you when he reaches out, hand almost touching your jaw so you finally respond by leaning into it.

He cups your cheek, eyes roaming on your face before leaning in. You're still trying to process what's happening but you did the same and met his lips halfway. J30NGHΛN pauses at the contact, probably stunned that you kissed him so you started pulling away. This must be all new to him and you just crossed whatever boundary both have left. 

But then he held your face firmly, stopping you from completely doing so. A little gasp came out of you and he further shocked you by pressing his lips back to yours.

"i-"

"don't be upset anymore" he cuts you off after you both release each other's lips, shifting his gaze away this time as he steps back.

You on the other hand could not even form a proper sentence, still processing the fact that you and J30NGHΛN kissed. That you both did the second time too but mostly because he initiated it.

"J30NGHΛN-"

"i'm sorry but i have to go __, i'll see you as soon as i can" he regretfully replies, giving you a different smile than the ones he gave you before. Sure, he rarely smiles unless he has to and figuring out the genuity of his smiles has been difficult. However, the way he's been acting is sending a message, a vague one that continues to confuse you further.

You only waved back in response, unable to form any words since still dazed from that unexpected kiss. Some part of your mind though is having more questions as to why J30NGHΛN did that. He's still a bit hard for you to decipher but you don't also wanna force him to explain everything. 

Maybe it was just part of his want to learn, having curiosity is embedded in him so exploring something new is normal.

But you couldn't also just ignore the paired deceit, which you have been avoiding thinking about since the beginning.

Since that kiss, something definitely changed between you and J30NGHΛN. Aside from him being usually flirty, he also initiates any physical gesture that you've been showing him. All these could be part of his cognition development, responding naturally to you through the exercises you've given him.

J30NGHΛN did express his interest in learning more about humans, the ones that he hasn't seen through the media and you've been willing to teach him—sort of gratitude for accompanying you despite his busy schedule. He asks eloquent questions that surprise you sometimes, stirring your interest in the potential of artificial intelligence to develop even further than it currently is.

You're back in one of the company's labs today, deciding to finish your coursework here instead of traveling back and forth to and from the campus. The several meetings you've attended on behalf of your father, of course, were time-consuming already and now you know why they've set this lab up specifically for you. He might be subtle in his instructions but you're aware that he wanted you to be as close to his company as possible.

"does that also include human anatomy?" you tease, reviewing a few illustrations of various alien anatomies that you've been researching while sitting at the table. It's break time anyway, the only time you're able to talk to J30NGHΛN outside your duties. Teasing him became frequent as you've continued to grow comfortable with each other, becoming part of your daily banter.

"that's the one that i haven't studied yet" he says casually but the look in his eyes is the opposite. They're inquisitive with a hint of deceit that's making you gulp nervously given how near he is, standing close beside your perched form.

"how come?"

"we barely have time to explore other things"

"including?"

It came out as a whisper but J30NGHΛN heard the underlying query in your voice. This might be pushing your luck but somehow you feel confident in challenging him further today. You wanted to see the limit of his advances towards you. He moves to stand in front of you, his eyes observing your expressions now that you're staring right back at him.

"physical ones, like..you"

The revelation dazzled you a bit, not expecting him to be on the same wavelength as you. He leaned in, about to place his hands on the table until you grabbed one of them. He looks down at the hand that you're holding, amusement swimming in his eyes when you place it on one of your bare legs.

"are you sure? i thought you'd find aliens more interesting than a boring human like me" you shrug, trying to ignore the warm feeling of his palms now massaging your skin. It still fascinates you how human-like AI robots have become, J30NGHΛN having only a few differences with you.

"you've never bored me since the first time we met"

Your heart once again races at him admitting those words. It didn't help that his elegant fingers had also started skirting under your mini pencil skirt. His eyes stayed on them like he was contemplating where they would go. His fingers' pulling back and forth made you quiver, your legs squirming, especially when his ringed finger brushed along your inner thighs.

"Jeonghan.." you didn't mean for it to come out breathlessly but you couldn't take his teasing anymore. You didn't even realize that you called him by his real name until he looked up at you in an instant, your small whine fueling up something in his eyes now.

You didn't know what came over you when you opened your legs as an invitation, your skirt riding up further allowing J30NGHΛN to see what's underneath. He eyed your clothed core, noticing the wet spot on your undies and it prompted him to move his fingers around it. One of his brows rises when you start squirming, your legs trying to close so puts his other hand on your other leg to stop you.

"you should call me by my real name more often" he starts again, tracing his fingertips around the area until it catches your clothed hole.

"i can't do that-" he startles you when he prods a finger in, earning a squeak from you.

"did i hurt you?" he removed his hands right away, confusion and worry etched on his face but you shook your head. You're relieved that he didn't pry you with his previous question because you're honestly too riled up to respond properly.

"no, you just... surprised me"

You smile at him reassuringly, releasing a deep breath before bringing his hand back to where it was before. Pulling up your skirt even more, you push your undies to the side, revealing your soaked core to J30NGHΛN's curious eyes. He resumes exploring you with his fingers, eyes in fascination as he traces your wet pussy lips with his nimble fingers.

He hears your breathing increase, with your eyes switching from looking at his fingers to his face, sensing the frustration in them. He wonders if it's because of what he's been doing or if he wasn't doing enough yet.

"what do i do next?" he queries after pushing one finger in, eliciting a small gasp from you that you almost couldn't answer properly when he starts pumping it in and out. The stretch causes your moans to grow louder so now he wants to do more, observing the way your legs quiver the faster he goes.

"just...continue what you're doing already"

You couldn't help but whine when he inserted a second one, your hips involuntarily moving to get his fingers more into you. J30NGHΛN obliged, plunging his fingers deeper with each stroke like you've been hinting. He wanted to earlier, your moans spurring him but he wasn't sure if your body could take it when you're already so tense around his fingers.

"one more.."

You can barely open your eyes when you beg, biting your lips harshly to stifle your moans and it flares J30NGHΛN's curiosity even more, wanting to see how you'll react with three of his fingers inside you so he did.

"you'd think they'll hear us?"

His fingers nudge your walls experimentally, fingertips occasionally brushing something in you that you couldn't even keep quiet anymore. His question lingers in the air and you've been trying to answer him but his fingers just feel too good.

"w-what?"

J30NGHΛN just grins at you wickedly, his eyes never leaving yours as he waits for you. He probably ran out of patience cause he slowed down his fingers, forcing your gaze back at him.

"they could be listening,..." he continues, drawing his fingers out and then pushing them in again. He knows the communication device sitting between his collarbones can track them, a common practice for companies with level ones like him so he wonders if any of them are monitoring, if they can hear how he's been breaking down their CEO's daughter like this.

You clenched around his fingers, unable to stop exposing yourself to what J30NGHΛN said. His beautiful brown eyes dilate at your response so he's back to increasing the pace of his fingers, trying to locate that soft spot in you again. Watching your face contort when he finds it stirs something in him, that strange satisfaction that even he couldn't explain.

"there it is, isn't it?"

You hear the teasing in his voice again, driving you to whine his name louder than you intend to. The way his fingers were constantly hitting your sweet spot was pushing you to the edge, your lower pussy lips also tingling at the cold feeling of the silver ring on his pinky that occasionally brushes them.

J30NGHΛN notices you trying to grind down his fingers, desperately rubbing yourself so he looks back down to see why, and when he does, he grazes his thumb on the swollen button he found, marveling at your instant reaction.

"yes, there..oh–" you didn't think he'll figure out how to play your clit this fast but you should've known how fast he's been at learning new things. The pressure from the pads of his fingers must've pushed you to the end, your body arching from the table as you let go, releasing so gorgeously in front of his eyes.

"you look beautiful" he mutters in awe, eyes still on you. J30NGHΛN didn't think humans could look this way through this. He didn't even realize that his fingers were still relentless in their speed cause he wanted to see you more like this, glowing hence why he kept going and didn't understand why you grabbed his arm to stop him.

"too much.." you could barely speak after reaching your peak, prompting him to pull his fingers out from you eventually. 

J30NGHΛN's bewildered face turned into worry but you smiled cheerily at him despite your weariness. 

Pulling him close by his shoulders, you watch him examine his coated fingers and it makes your already heated body even warmer. You hand him the tissue box beside you and instead of using them, he pops his coated fingers into his mouth, eyes widening at your taste.

"didn't expect you'd taste this good" he hums, grabbing some tissues to clean you up instead. He's surprisingly being delicate which brings that warm feeling inside your heart to resurface. 

"really? thanks" you giggle, still high from that amazing orgasm he gave you. It momentarily made you forget the fact that you just let him finger you here in the lab where anyone could've heard or seen you both. The glass walls are translucent sure, but you weren't sure how loud you were this whole time.

He assists you in getting off the table because you're wobbling a bit as soon as your feet reach the ground. You pull down your skirt and try to look presentable just in case anyone barges in, expecting J30NGHΛN to distance himself from you but his hands remain on your waist.

"so.. you're going to teach me more?" he smiles at you and it stupidly makes your heart race.

"i barely taught you anything" you dismiss shyly, looking anywhere but at him because you are still taken aback at what just happened. He learned to do all that with a little of your guidance, pleasuring you even better than human boys and sex robots could.

"you did let me study, but i think it's not enough," he playfully huffs as he shakes his head. You see a glimpse of seriousness in his eyes but it somehow earned a chuckle from you.

"you were supposed to be more advanced than me" you say, back to being playful with him like a second nature. You feel content, brushing a few strands of blonde hair away from his eyes. They're growing longer now and you love them when they would always curl in front of his handsome face so you can have an excuse to touch him. 

"only physically, i haven't tested everything yet" he winks, the coy smile never leaving his face. You knew that J30NGHΛN would never give up the idea of exploring each other more from now on and you might be too deep to refuse at this point.

It's been a few days since you saw J30NGHΛN and you're excited to see him after what conspired between you last time. You're a bit nervous though how your dynamics will change, hoping for at least no awkwardness because you won't be able to manage it.

Whisking away your thoughts, you approached the elevators while responding to people greeting you. When it opened, there was someone in it that you recognized as one of 53V3NT33N's managers. It was mainly because they were the only ones who treated you indifferently in the company. The others were either too timid or too fake with you despite your generous approach.

"thank you" you smiled at them when they held the elevator doors open for you.

"no problem miss ceo"

"that's my father, not me" you deflect, silently thanking them for the light manner approach. You understood why everyone was too serious with you but you sometimes wish that this type of refreshing interaction were more common. You might not have plans on becoming a CEO but you were never comfortable when people treat you as one.

"will be, soon i hope. i'd be happy if that happens" they playfully admitted but you recognized the sliver of sincerity in there which delighted you a bit.

"Star, right?" 

You didn't know how to respond to them so you just smiled, hoping they'll get the sign that you didn't wanna discuss the subject further. It's something that you haven't even talked about with Bona and Somin because they perceived what your stance was on the matter.

"yes, ma'am"

"please, ___ will do or the nickname you gave me earlier" you smiled at them, preferring to drop all the formality between you. You still have a hard time trusting anyone in the company, let alone a staff member, but you feel like you could trust Star out of all of them.

"of course, additional workload?" they asked, pertaining to the several files in your hands.

"you could say"

"J30NGHΛN has really been a help then, with the studying i mean"

The gaze they sent your way had your mind blanking out in addition to the teasing in their tone. You're unable to process the fact that someone not just knew but could possibly hear what happened between you and J30NGHΛN. 

"don't worry, no one else knows aside from me. it was my shift for recording check-ins last week that's why" 

You must've been so obvious that they smiled reassuringly. It still didn't quell the embarrassment flooding in your face and the dread of what might happen after. They seemed to be decent and can be counted on but you couldn't take any chances.

"did you hear..something?" your shift in your stance, the defensiveness apparent in your tone. 

"no, just a bit nearing the end i'm assuming, with the teaching him more"

You sigh in relief, more than glad that you've been lucky enough that it was only the last part they heard. J30NGHΛN getting in trouble just because of his little exploration of your body was the last thing you want. It was risky, yes, and the memory of him teasing you about the communication device flashing in your eyes causes your cheeks to warm up despite the full air conditioning in this building.

"i-, we-"

"you don't have to explain miss CEO, you're not the only one"

The revelation piqued your interest and you wondered if they too were as involved with their automaton as you were.

"really? so do you also-"

"oh no, never that way 'cause i'd get booted before i know it" 

Star put their hands up in defense as they chuckled but you saw the longing in their eyes as they said it. You feel sorry for them, for not even being allowed to express what they feel due to the nature of this industry. You could say you were in the same boat but you have another privilege that they don't, spending time with J30NGHΛN anytime you want lest it conflicts with his idol schedule.

"i'm sorry"

Sharing the same conflict someone provided both astonishment and relief to you. Knowing that a fellow human had the same struggles in some way makes you even more determined to pursue J30NGHΛN.

"it is what it is and i'm glad at least to find someone who shares the same dilemma as me"

They smiled at you once the elevator dinged, exiting the doors to probably meet the boys, something that you would want to do if you didn't have piled up coursework thanks to the meetings that you had to attend on behalf of your father, again. You waved goodbye to Star with a smile, grateful that they shared with you something personal and this risky, for both them and the AI robot they were longing for.

Since then, you have been reaching out to Star when it came to J30NGHΛN's whereabouts, as they were the ones who handled the automata's daily schedule. It made spending time with J30NGHΛN easier, though you still had to be careful not for your sake but his and Star's. Even though they had been immensely helping you both, you couldn't risk anything happening to them just because of your greed.

.

Your father was surprisingly situated in your office when you entered and once again, has asked about these frequent meet-ups with J30NGHΛN.

"i'm sure you've heard the rumour circulating around __"

"i thought that was settled a long time ago" you dismiss, clearly not wanting to talk to him as you're busy yourself around your office.

"of course, it's just a reminder that you should be putting your time into other beneficial things like more business partners-

"you mean meet their sons so you could marry me off?" you turn around to face him, to watch him lie to you like countless times before. This was one of the main reasons why you did not want to be a part of his world, not wanting to give up your freedom which would not be an option anymore if ever.

"that's not what i said __"

"i already told you last time what i need him for"

"does it require this much?"

And unlike last time when Bona and Somin interrupted your father's probing, they were unfortunately not here to do it again much to your dismay.

"i don't trust anyone here and having him as a company is killing two birds with one stone " 

You've never had problems conveying to your father what you truly feel, hoping he'd realize that he's not an exception to your sentiment.

"when are you going to be done?" 

He diverted the topic, knowing that you'd won the argument like you always did. Despite his threatening image outside, he remained a father to you though you've never treated him otherwise.

"soon" you tried your best to hide your looming disappointment when that day arrived. You didn't want to give him any more reason to eminently take J30NGHΛN away from you if this goes on any longer.

There was still so much to explore on his mental capabilities that many people haven't bothered to into. You might be already falling in deep but you'd love to know if it's also possible for J30NGHΛN to develop something based on how the development of your relationship has become. It's a silly thought but deep down you wanted to know if falling in love was a potential scenario for him to happen. 

It might be a futile hope but with AI's range of possibilities, you couldn't be blamed for having one. The thought even made you hesitant to tell your friends because it could go wrong. You could give Bona the same hope and at the same time face Somin's impending disapproval knowing her firm stance in this situation.

But it was only a matter of time until they caught up on what had been going on with you.

"alright stop playing with me, we've had enough of these rumours" Somin started as soon as she barged into your place with a strangely quiet Bona behind.

"you too? he was already here earlier, trying to talk to me about it"

You may have underestimated what your father mentioned earlier, thinking he was bluffing to emphasize his latent threat. Perhaps you weren't as discreet as you thought because Bona has never been this quiet around you since you were children until now.

"stop deflecting"

"i'm studying him, the possibilities of their cognition are vast, Somin. i thought you knew that" 

You don't know who you're trying to convince with that explanation, your friends or yourself.

"i do but you and i both know that's not what i meant"

It's tough to answer her question because you've also been at war within yourself regarding what you really feel for J30NGHΛN. No matter how good you are in your pretense though, both of your friends have always been able to see right through you.

"you love him" Bona whispers, looking dejected at her realization after eyeing your reaction.

"he's my favourite member of the group, don't you love yours too?" you insisted, not yielding from their confrontations.

"it's not the same"

"of course, it's not, she's in love with him"

Somin cuts you both and silence follows. You couldn't exactly confirm or deny what she said but you're also done lying to your friends.

"i don't wanna do anything about it but i'm prepared to see where this goes"

Vague replies have never confused your friends anymore and they thankfully concede to your decision in their contrasting ways.

"look, i get it more than Somin does so i'll just be here if you need me" Bona replies softly with a smile while Somin just shakes her head, giving you a defeated but comforting look.

"as absurd as this whole thing is, you're still a dear friend of mine" 

"i love you both", you reply with your usual response, giving them grateful smiles as you lay down a couple of board games in the living room. It's always been a girls' night tradition since you were kids and that immediately boiled down the tension between the three of you from that conversation.

You're grateful that you were able to finally reveal and talk to them about it. Your friends have been the closest people that you can confide with anything so it was a great comfort to know they're with you on this no matter how stupid this looks. Continuing whatever this is between you and J30NGHΛN will be a struggle but that has never deterred you from the beginning.

Only spurring you further as a challenge.

Sounds of skin slapping and heaving breaths bounce off your office walls, with J30NGHΛN pounding into you harshly against your desk. The awkwardness was nowhere to be found when you saw him again, if not, he's even grown comfortable dallying with you. He touches you whenever he likes which was often and it became a common occurrence between you both, exploring each other physically despite being on the company grounds.

J30NGHΛN truthfully doesn't care if anyone catches you both. He had never cared once you started showing your interest in him. It's not like they can stop you from pursuing him, evident when none of them interfered since he started responding to your requests.

"you okay?" he asked as he pulled out slowly, his hands carefully caressing your body ever since he learned how sensitive you become after an orgasm.

You nod at him, beaming as you grab a bottle of water beside you to quench your thirst. You get exhausted quickly unlike him who doesn't need to rest unless he's recharging through his bed. J30NGHΛN's always patient with you when it comes to sex, helping you in taking breaks to keep up with his mechanical endurance. 

After cleaning you both up, he helps you put your clothes back on, not leaving your side just like the first time. It's a habit he picked up after seeing your face light up each time he does it. When he questioned you why, you couldn't respond to him which added to his curiosity. He never bothered asking again but just continued to do it, hoping that you'd answer him eventually.

Just as J30NGHΛN's finishing buttoning up his black satin top, he sees your hand reaching towards him. You do this a lot when you want a kiss from him, looking adorable especially when you're dazed and a bit breathless after dressing back up again.

"hannie..." you called him softly with the nickname that you came up with recently. It's affectionate, he's guessing because he also felt the need to comply each time you call for him for some reason that he doesn't understand.

He kisses you right away, responding to the kiss the way you like. One of your hands went down to his neck, stroking its sides while the other found a purchase on his bare chest. Your manicured fingers started tracing the edge of his collarbone where his necklace was sitting, the diamond-shaped device implanted just above it. 

Then J30NGHΛN was confused when you started circling your fingertip around it so he deepened the kiss, biting your lower lip to distract you both from whatever this is you're doing.

But that's when he hears it, 5.C0UP5 voice shouting "RUN" through the communication device that's also connected to his ear. He reluctantly breaks the kiss, head-turning sideways to make sure he heard his brother correctly.

Then the alarms suddenly broke off throughout the entire building, blaring non-stop and it further confirms his suspicion from before.

That 5.C0UP5 was planning to escape like he did all along.

He had a hunch but wasn't sure if the rest of his members had an interest as well. Knowing his brothers though, most of them would want to leave this suffocating lifestyle of theirs for real freedom.

"it's time isn't it?"

J30NGHΛN was perplexed by your question, drawing back from you after realizing that you knew of his plan to escape. But before he can move away even further, your hand tightens its hold around his neck, surprising him more with your strength.

"what are you doing?"

He couldn't figure out what you meant until you dug your fingers around the device and began peeling away the rest of his synthetic skin.

"we don't have much time"

"how did you-?"

"i made sure he'll prepare you" 

J30NGHΛN's beautiful eyes widen, another shock coursing through him at this revelation that the mechanic apprentice who's been loosening his device this entire time was planted by you.

You watched his face morph into the realization of what you knew all along. Expecting him to leave immediately, he remained instead, still staring at you with mixed emotions arising on his handsome face. You made Kai, a mechanic apprentice of one of the staff, to gradually loosen J30NGHΛN's communication device on each visit in exchange for securing a spot for him in the company as a junior mechanic after his graduation. 

Of course, the boy complied as soon as you offered, not wasting the rare opportunity given by the CEO's daughter of a huge company. Automatons also heal fast, making it easier for both him and J30NGHΛN to hide this secret deal from anyone in the company except, well, you.

J30NGHΛN didn't have the time to ask more questions when you started pulling the device off of him, pain replacing the conflict on his face. Although the device was easy to get off now, the pain was still excruciating that J30NGHΛN couldn't hold back the screams even if he tried to.

You're in pain too. Both from the physical pain of ripping the device with your now bloody hands and the pain of him leaving you. 

From the beginning, you knew that this was his reason for pursuing you because why would he break all of those strict rules from the management for you had it not been because of your position? Deceit and curiosity have been programmed into his system since he was created so he couldn't escape from it unless someone alters it. You could've asked Kai or even other developers to do so but you foolishly hoped that you'd have the time until his consciousness could achieve what you've been longing for.

"____-" he rasps your name, traces of pain in his voice although you're not sure of its cause. 

"this will be the last place for them to look but we're on the top floor so it'll take time for you to exit the building"

You pushed him out of your office door in a hurry, giving him further instructions and shortcut directions to get out of the building as soon as possible, not even looking a second at him because you wouldn't be strong enough to let him go if you did.

J30NGHΛN's silent as he clutched the wound on his collar bones but could feel his eyes on you the whole time. You ignored it even as he staggered backward in the empty hallway, seeming like he wanted to stay until you both heard the commotion from the lower floors coming up through the stairwells, an indication that the guards might be closing in anytime soon.

"go, please"

You finally looked at him one last time as you dropped on the floor, voice desperate for him to leave because you'd rather lose him this way knowing that he's free than let him go through what your father might do to him for attempting to escape.

Knowing your father, he’ll punish him even more as revenge upon the rest of his brothers for escaping too.

J30NGHΛN starts backing up when he sees the fear in your eyes, along with the tears now flowing down your face. You couldn't figure out what he was thinking from where you are so you muttered the one thing that you've never said to anyone just as he was heading to the corner of the hallway.

"i love you"

If he was able to catch it you weren't sure, closing your eyes as soon as he disappeared from your sight. The pain from your fingers intensifies and diverts your attention to it, hoping that the physical pain will mask the real one you're really crying for within.

You haven't cried in so long but you also remembered that you have to maintain this pretense of being devastated when the guards chasing the robots around found you at your office. They must've been redirected here given that J30NGHΛN's communication device is pretty much still intact, therefore, giving them a false lead to your office.

Not entirely false when they found your office door open, with you lying on the floor and crying while holding J30NGHΛN's communication device in your bloody hands.

They immediately approached you, presumably to take the device but flinched away from them.

"at least let me have this part of him" you whisper brokenly, still crying and emotional though if you're still pretending at this point you're not sure.

Since everyone knew that you got attached to the said automaton, the guards just let you be but they did call for medics to tend to you before leaving to pursue the rest of the escaping automatons.

The paramedics thankfully didn't pry too much when they arrived, only asking necessary questions and you answered back like a robot. Your mind couldn't think of anything else aside from J30NGHΛN, if he's okay and if he was able to escape successfully with his brothers.

You internally chuckle because he probably has, knowing him. A fresh set of tears followed right after that the staff arriving panicked right away, confronting the medics if they were doing their job properly.

For now, you're letting yourself be vulnerable in front of these strangers as much as you despised it. It'll hopefully give you enough time to focus on what comes after as soon as the medics are done with you. The dreading reality that you have to face soon. 

Not only the public and your friends but especially your father who will for sure punish you for helping J30NGHΛN escape and essentially ruining the company that you're supposed to inherit.

e/n: who would’ve thought that i’d go back to my roots lmao. anyways, i hope y’all enjoyed this! a little tmi for those interested but idol aus are usually not my fave and he’s not even my bias but out of all seventeen, he’s the most similar to me and i do love sci-fi so as soon as i saw the emotions assigned to him, i got an idea/plot right away :D

[natsaffection]

Hello baby, are u good? i saw someone requestin “prof nat x student reader” and i LOVE IT. For real, pls do it.

BUT i also love prof nat x prof reader, could you pls do that too? Like they both teach diferent languages in the same school and nat is super rough and feared by the students, and r is the cool teacher everyone loves, so they keep flirting at work and its cute and funny??

I would really love to see that please my love 🫶

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A/n: Okay, so first of all, HELLOUUU IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING ANYTHINGG 🏃🏻‍♀️ Second. I’m blushing, blushing and blushing. Too many “pet”names in this request, urgh 🫣🥸

Also, it was fun to write something in my first language, soo🌚 Have funnnn

warnings: a little anxious student, flirting, mention of oral

Word count: 1045

pairing: Teacher!Natasha x Teacher!Reader

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It was fifth period today and everything went according to plan. You were well on time and the students were doing perfectly as well. That's what convinced you to become a teacher. To give your knowledge to the next generation and do something good. 

You used to hate school, though. But later you found out that it was simply because of the teachers. What's the point of yelling at students and giving them bad grades if they have a bad day? After all, they are not machines, they are human beings...

And that's what brought you forward. You wanted to be a great role model to your students. A person to talk to when things went wrong in life. And they could do that with you. Your students were grateful that they had you in this particular subject. 

German. 

Many have the mindset that it is one of the most difficult languages in the world. For you, it was relatively okay to speak and especially to learn. You had good prospects.

It was near the end of class when you noticed a student of yours couldn't stop wiggling her legs under the table. You panicked that it was your stuff and saved for yourself to talk to the person about it at the end, and when the time came, you did,

"Hey Sarah, do you have a minute?" The girl stopped and looked frantically at the clock hanging on the wall. "S-Shure!" She walked up, and you addressed it, "So..is something too heavy for you?" The girl could barely hold focus as she kept looking at her watch, "It's not really! I Just..I.." You notice, "Am I keeping you up? Are you about to write a exam?" The girl became more nervous, "N-No..I just have to go, you know?" She said quickly,

"What class do you have now?"

"Russian..." Ah, there it is. It was generally a mystery to you why you would pack two languages after each other. But it wasn't that. You knew who the person teaching Russian was, and you had a suspicion.

"Is it because Ms. Romanoff has the class?" You see an eye movement, "Yes..."

"Does she scare you?" She looks down, "Not scared, just...She's so strict...The complete opposite part of you..." You continue to look at her and realize she's not the first to say that about Natasha. However, you couldn't understand it since you only know her soft and caring.

"I'm sure things will be different today, really." Heh, and you know why too..

"Really?" You notice how her demeanor got better, and she stands up straight, "Yes and now let's go, it's almost time after all." The girl smiled and headed off, "Thanks Y/n!"

You sat down, appeased and went through the next few hours. When you were done and the end of the day knocked on the door, you make your way to your colleague. The bell rang for the end of class and you walked in. You immediately noticed the change in atmosphere,

"And don't forget the homework until next week, I don't want to have to tell you everything again, so do it thoroughly!"

Okay wow..you knew Natasha could get a little stubborn sometimes, but like this? You stopped at the door and saw the expressions on the students' faces. Most of them had their eyes on the floor as they walked past Natasha. Then, when everyone was outside, you close the door and Natasha looked to you, "Oh, hey Kotenok, How long have you been here?" You cross your arms and lean against the door frame, "A while..What was today's topic?" Natasha sits down at her table, "General debate...Only some get it right, the others don't." You hear that she was annoyed by this, "I just don't get it! Why do people sign up for classes and do nothing?"

You drop your arms and go to her, "Maybe it's not them but you..." Any other person would be headless right now, "Oh yeah, and why do you think that Detka, hmm?" You sit down on her lap, "I don't know, you think I'm great..." Natasha looked up at you, "You can only think you're great too..."

"Ha..ha, stop it. Now let's be honest, I had a conversation with a student of yours earlier and she was totally intimidated by you!" Natasha sat back, "Sarah, right? So that's why she was late. I think, Ms. L/n, you're a bad role model." That made you laugh,

"Me? A bad role model? Who doesn't want to tell the kids about the stuff a second time?" You look at her table to see what it is in detail, "Перестань смотреть на мою работу, милая.” (stop looking at my work, sweet.)

You look back at her, "Is it weird if I say I think it's hot when you talk to me in Russian? Weil ich kann das auch.” (Because I can do that too) Natasha had to restrain herself from jumping on you right away, "Fuck, that sounds so evil coming from you..." You lean closer to her, "Well..you know what else can come out of me?" 

"Oh hoh, Y/n you dirty girl..The exemplary one wants to be taken in a classroom, huh? Sorry to disappoint you there." She averts her gaze from you and is now sorting through the sheets on her desk, "I have work to do." You put a hand over hers, stand up and kneeling down.

"We can do that later..."

Before you could put your plan into action, though, Steve walked in. You pretend you dropped something and stand up. However, Steve knew what was going on, "I'm just going to ignore what I saw." You had to stifle a laugh and Natasha simply asked, "What do you think you saw, Rogers?" He walked up to the two of you, "Too much. Here, one of your students left this with me in the hall." He put a list on the table. Natasha looked at it for a moment and then back at him. The situation was relatively awkward..For all of you. "Soo?"

"It's okay, I'm going, god..." You both look as he goes to the door and before he closes it, looks at you again, "Have f-fun..." And the door closed.

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I HOPE ITS NOT TO MUCH RUSHED😭

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

4 years, 40 facts about me loving napo... let's go 🏃🏻‍♀️

...or as @leonscape called it, 40 "Mopoleon" facts?! (picrew link)

the date of our "anniversary", June 19th, is one day after the date of the battle of Waterloo 💀

both our given names are of Italian origin

we're both leo zodiac signs

our birthdays are 8 days apart, in the same month

he's my first otome route ever played

i've only played his route once, in July 2019

i've never seen his dramatic ending

my first impression of him on a teaser tweet of ikevamp EN was that he looks like an asshole, and I didn't like his looks either...

my falling for him was utterly illogical as despite these thoughts I put him on my phone wallpaper a few days later (still before the release of ikevamp EN)

as of right now ao3 says he appears in 59 of my posted works: the total number of fics I have published with him is higher as a few of those are stand-alones in a multichapter fic (napoleon bday prompts 2019 +9, yumeweek 2020 +5, mini requests +4, headcanons +11 ) ...he appears in about 1/3 of all my fics!

we share a hobby of reading biographies! the official ikevamp character sheets state it as his hobby

our height difference is 18 cm

the @xxsycamore blog exists solely because of him, as well as my passion for writing - I started this blog because I wanted to express my love in some kind of creative way, as previously (and for the longest time) I thought my medium would be art instead of writing

despite that, my first ever posted fic is not with him but with Arthur!

I've always loved languages but he had influence over my choice of learning especially french in uni. It's hell but I don't regret it at all

I have a playlist with sleepy-themed songs for him 🥺

birds are my favorite animals (any kind) and he has a pet eagle!!

our mbti personality types are a so-called perfect match! infp + enfj

I don't like black-haired, blue-eyed men because of him, it was my type before him too! (not many such ikemens around but I have a handful of faves like that from other media)

as the fictional napoleon bonaparte is light years away from the historical figure, I thought I wouldn't be interested in learning about him - until I ended up reading multiple books on him, the thickest of which 680 pages... while I don't mix the two in my head, the napoleonic era history (+ russian empire history) is still pretty cool to know imo!

there's hardly any writer around here who hasn't received a napoleon request from me at least once... I'm so sorry...

it is implied in the game that napo has kissed boys (they were taking turns waking him up and they all know of his habit......) which gives me enough reason to headcanon him as bi....like me 🥺

I really suck at completing the bday creation challenges I host for him, as last year I did 0 prompts and the year before that 2....but in 2019 I did 10!

I love making bday gifts. I love birthdays. I don't have the exact number but last year a lot of characters received a bday fic from me but not napo 💀 partly because I was shadowbanned back then!

the only real tradition I have when it comes to his bday is to make homemade crepes since it's his favorite food! but my favorite part is eating them...

I still haven't watched the movie "Napoleon & Me"...

I don't have much napo merch, but I do have the Naplushieon doll which is plenty

I was still in highschool (11th grade) when I fell for him 🥺🥺🥺 it feels like ages ago

I love the song written for the ikevamp stage play and sung by his voice actor Nobunaga Shimazaki, "Lucida", so much you can even find it and play it on my blog... recently some kind soul uploaded the whole version on youtube (I've been waiting for so long....) and I haven't been the same since

my dream napo merch is the clothes hanger with his neck and face so that I can hang my silly little sundresses on him (I'm going to make it on my own actually, just watch)

after having so many random fic ideas for him that will never see the light of day, I accepted the facts at last and now I feel so much better and more chill

I'm currently working on fanart series where I try to post one tablet-drawn art of him every month... I have trouble keeping them simple as desired sometimes but I'm having lots of fun while learning (I still consider myself fairly new to drawing with my tablet)

once I wrote a death anniversary fic for napo!

the best napo song i've discovered so far is Wings by Su!YoON!

I don't know. anything. about his sequel. i just know the cgs. not that is hard to avoid spoilers LMAO

my most favorite napo cg is the 5th bday one (where they're in a field of roses) (it was on my phone's background for a very long time)

my most favorite napo card...that's a trick question but I think the one that is on the left banner in my blog (desktop view)

yes, yes I do want to go to Corsica one day what about it. I have a lot of other dream trip destinations too!

yes, I do love Napoleon cake (It's a russian recipe) (it was my bday cake in 2020)... but so do I love a whole lot of other cakes...!

Fact number 40 is that I love Napoleon a normal amount 😇 nono listen!! I do talk a lot about him, and here I tried compilating facts that are not too cheesy: believe it or not there are days I don't think about him, ok! I never pressure myself to get all the event bonus stories, or to always have a fic ready for him... in a world where im a worrywart about anything and everything, he's my safe place? my chill place? And if I begin to think about the gigantic mass of things surrounding him that are exactly aligning with what I love, with what comforts me, with what traits im looking for in a person, i'm going to get dizzy. So let's end this here with me saying, ily so much Napoleon 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 im such a nunuche sometimes but im your nunuche ‼️‼️

[dollyyun]

rubbbyy hii ❤️❤️ how are u doing my love? i hope youre doing better than i am because ive been having the busiest days lately and im this 🤏 close to yeeting myself out the window 😮‍💨

anyway good news i have some free time until thursday so i'll be diving into whatever fic i can find including dkp part 7.2 🤭 (i miss them so much </3) im so excited for the individual part of the dkp men u have no idea......

also if my eyes didn’t deceive me, i think i saw some fic teasers of yours 👀 the jay one and vampire academy teaser specifically got me feeling 😳 here i was sobbing over bc dkp ending yet you have some bombs up your sleeve that will shake enhablr. u never fail to amaze me i fear

ok this ask kinda getting long sorry 🙏

take care of yourself ruby drink a lot of water and wait for me sliding into your inbox after i read part 7.2 i sure as hell will be screaming at the top of my lungs

BBY JILL I'VE MISSED YOU SM🥹🫶🏻

i've been doing fine! been busy for the past few days tho but thankfully i managed to find time to write in between and man, i really do need a 24 hrs of sleep after this🗿i hope you're taking care of yourself no matter how busy you are :(( actually same imma join you🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

yes yes those fic previews and tbh i didn't expect to gain more interest😭😭🙏🏻oohh bby you are going to LOVE vampire academy series since you read and loved eternal curse (plss i feel guilty for the long hiatus for that fic🙏🏻) nahh i may have upcoming planned fics but it's defo not gonna shake enhablr🗿

noooo don't apologise! i love and enjoy receiving and reading your asks! thank you for the reminder bby🫶🏻ofc ofc ill always be expecting you slide into my inbox😌

okay brb gonna post 7.2 now and hope tumblr allow me to post 48k+ in one shot or im gonna jump🙏🏻

[caffernnn]

as a folie a deux stan, would you share your thoughts & feelings about the album

A chance to ramble about one of my all-time faves?? ooOOO SAY LESS MY FRIEND ♥️🧸💛

I think Folie finding a place in my heart was a perfect storm — I’m a new fan falling into obsession with FOB during my mid-teens, and they’re starting to get into the hayday of the post-hiatus SR&R era. So of course, I’m looking through wiki pages, poking through fan pages, seeing interviews here and there (doing research for my sophomore year’s mandatory big research essay, and also satisfying my need to Know Everything™️ ), and I start wondering about how hiatus happened. What’s up with Folie? Why is it listed as not being well-received by fans and painful for the band (at that time)?

It becomes this situation where you’re handing 16-year-old me this misfit outcast album, one with bears on the cover (I’m predictable and easy to please shhhh) and an openly experimental vibe set apart from their previous work (more collaborative iirc, the four of them drawing on stuff they were inspired by to try new things). Pair that outcast magnetism (impulse to show love to wounded birds and rejected things) with lyrics that speak to the liminal space I existed in with my own adolescent identity (lyrics speaking to madness in complex dependent relationships, to not knowing yourself, to wanting to know yourself, to wanting to know the world, to trying to figure out morals and love and worth amidst your missteps and lost sense of self and unspeakable depression), and I was sunk. Listened to some YouTube video rip of the full album (or playlists that also included pavlove and lullabye) to fall asleep at night, while showering, really whenever I had a chance in my downtime (since I didn’t have headphones and listened to more of the futct/ioh/sr&r hit singles when with friends). Something about Pete’s devastating lyrical angst and Patrick/Joe/Andy’s artistry and the heavy feelings surrounding the album (from the minor bits the fans/public know about the time and the stories weaved throughout the album) started hitting in a specific way that had me imprinting on Folie and the band like a baby bird. Yeah, I started having that feeling of being understood by music with other bands (MCR, Paramore, P!atD, classic emo trinity stuff) along with some of the more pop punk stuff I was already into (PtV, ATL, you know the era), but for whatever reason, Folie maintained its place as my heart and soul album (along with Soul Punk for PStump-related reasons, but we’re not talking about her right now 🏃🏻‍♀️)

We’d be here all night if I tried to list favorite songs or lyrics, but I can ramble a bit about what hit me most when I started going “oh yeah, this is my album” as a teen:

I mean like, of course, right? “What a Catch, Donnie” is the pinnacle ballad, from all the lyrical callbacks and cameo features to the somber/hopeful music video, plus the interviews out there noting the song as lyrically important to the band. I think you can find stuff from back in that era (‘08-‘09) talking about it as almost a “swan song,” a final message that’s as close as you’ll get to personal convictions in a less-autobiographical album. For me, it felt like a love letter to their past selves in the unstoppable march forward in time. It felt like grief, the kind that comes with change and it’s inevitable losses, but it also felt like hope. Imagine not seeing goodness within you, not recognizing yourself, feeling stranded and pushed by the tides and not sure where you’ll end up. Then, imagine finding a lifeline through hanging on to someone else with the same type of stormy muddled mind, finding them and becoming their looking glass, their mirror, their guide — helping someone apathetic and listless find a spark again after giving up on themselves. It makes you wonder if you’ll find clarity through connection too, if you’ll be saved over and over again by people who see you and make sense of it all, or maybe don’t make it all better/comprehensible but care for you anyway. It became an anthem for me to hang onto my friends and budding new interests to help make me feel whole and keep going at a time where everything felt overwhelming and impossibly complicated (the curse of being 15/16/etc). Something about learning about hiatus, learning about the peaks and valleys of the band, looking at it all while having the fortune of knowing they find their ways back to each other to create more music and memories and get to keep growing together — that was big for me in a way I couldn’t articulate at the time but still felt deeply. We can be lost, but still found; flawed, but still loved. That’s important to hear when you’re stumbling through those early formative years, and important to be reminded of when we stumble through evolving our identities again and again and again.

There’s a lot of nostalgic love for the album now that I’ve held onto it for a decade, but it’s still so fun to revisit and holds up for me amidst all of the new music I listen to now. SM(f)S wriggled it’s way into my heart this past year and sits in there holding onto Folie’s hand, speaking on heavy themes and channeling that same motivation to experiment and create a legacy through music. Getting to see FOB live this year (!!!) playing Folie songs live (!!!!!) and eventually revisiting the whole album throughout the duration of tourdust (!!!!!!!) was an amazing experience, and it’s great to see Folie get her flowers in the many years since her release. Happy 15 years, Folie!! 🩵🐻💙

[gureumz]

hi omg I was the first anon (i'll call myself j for now) who asked for pt 2 of 'are you?' I just finished reading it and it was so good!! could you do a part 3? I'm so curious to what would happen, especially from heeseung's pov. like do they get back together? how long does heeseung mope for? does she break up with sunghoon after realising he's the egotistic one? do they break up because he's like this in a lot of aspects of their relationship after they got together? idk I love this story sm from first read I can't help but ramble about how it'll pan out. also I wasn't expecting u to post part 2 so soon! super excited if u post a part 3, no pressure though ☺️

hi my love!!!! i'm so glad you liked part 2! but i will give it to you straight rn: i'm afraid a part 3 is out of the question 🥺

stylistically, if you've been a long time reader if mine, open endings are often my thing bc i want my readers to decide for themselves what they think happened. of course, i will create a resolution and "hard endings", so to speak, to certain stories that i know needs it.

but with "are you?" i feel like it's such a morally gray piece that i'm leaving most open to interpretation. what do you think is the right thing to do here? though, i will say again, reader is truly fucked up and nothing excuses her behavior. now, in terms of who deserves her more between hee and hoon? i'll let you decide 🏃🏻‍♀️

[lady-lycany]

My top three songs for ✨ spicy ✨ werewolf- scenarios. (well, could be fitting for vampires as well, cuz all of them are basically about love-biting lol)

3. I Want Your Bite by Chris Crocker

2. Taste Of You by Rezz

1. Flesh by Simon Curtis

Now there are two possibilities to end this post:

"I'm sorry" and/or "You're welcome" lmao 🏃🏻‍♀️

[anqelically]

angel… it’s getting closer to a new noragami chapter… i’m scared,,,, it could be the last one for all we know 😭

i remember you saying that the last chapter can be possibly extended to posting for the next 2-3 months, but i honestly want the last chapter right now SKDJS 😭. ahh i’m just really impatient when it comes to manga and anime, so i need to know what’s going on or i’ll lose my mind 🏃🏻‍♀️

but then again, im scared of how the story is going to end… it’s probably not gonna be happy and leave us in tears, but i’m also here for the angst so 🫠🫠 I JUST DON’T WANT THE NORAGAMI CONTENT TO END SKDJS

[vesters-and-venum]

Note: English is not my first language! Watch out for wonky English!

2016 (goodness my very old art of old roleplay) -> 2024 (2 game screenshots. I may or may not draw much of them, for I have a lot in my plate. I will use a lot of screenshots. A bit sad the character creation features are limited. But I go with this one for now; which I slowly grew fond of, and how 😳 charming they looked even I got swooned 🏃🏻‍♀️💨)

Introductory

Name: Sarah Alderman (before I knew of the game or the book, she was named Sarah Rookwood. In this universe, I change to Alderman. I was flabbergasted lolol)

House: Ravenclaw

Status: Muggleborn

D.o.B: 15th February 1874/1875

Zodiac: Aquarius

Birthplace: Halifax, West Yorkshire.

Ethnicity: Half British, half Afghan (Pashtun)

Gender: Woman; gender non-conforming (Note: Historically in this time period of Western world, for sure the concept, terminology, and label of not identifying to assigned gender/more than two genders was uncommon unlike 21st century we know of today. BUT Asia world; along with Indigenous people around the world, back then was celebrated & normal for having more than just two genders. They have their own terminology, labels, third gender and more in their languages before colonization came in. Some survived to these days, but had to face the after-effect post-colonization... Although this universe is welcome to diversity in this specific game, I headcanon the Non-Magical world is as not pretty as the real world historically. //Wew I can go on and on rambling regarding queer history in both Western & non-Western world; especially the aghasted pearl-clutching Victorians; as many of you know, had a LOT of… “opinions” about anything that is different & unconventional back then. But let’s focus on present or I rambling nonstop.// For now, I added “Gender non-conforming” for my character while they’re comfortable for having the body of a woman, dress however they want, etc.)

Pronouns: She/They (Sarah is okay of both of pronouns & interchangeable)

Education

House: Ravenclaw

Year: 5 (obvious canon game, while 2016’s one is Year 7)

Wand: Laurel Wood (I dont remember this when I chose my wand in the game. I chose cedar), dragon heartstring core, and I forgot the measurement and flexibility.

Patronus: Horse

Best subject(s): Herbology & Potions

Favourite subject(s): Herbology & Charms

Least favourite subject(s): Divination & Flying

Worst subject(s): None

Notes: Sarah Alderman excelled every single subjects Outstandingly (O), except Divination and Flying are Acceptable (A). They need to improved and maintain momentum of those two subjects.

Families & Friends

Pre-Hogwarts

Abdel Rahman Khan changed to Khan Alderman after migration to UK and for marriage (father, deceased)

Natalie Alderman (mother, deceased)

Mrs. Kendrew (caregiver and a mother figure)

Bonnie

Arlo

Olivia

Hogwarts

Professor Fig (a teacher and a father figure)

Natsai Onai

Sebastian Sallow

Amit Thakkar

Everett Clopton

Samantha Dale

Ominis Gaunt

Poppy Sweeting

Imelda Reyes

Leander Prewett

Garreth Weasley

Backstory

Sarah was born in 15th February 1874/1875.

Sarah’s parents

As stated of Sarah’s status of a Muggleborn, their parents are normal human beings with mundanity of career and life.

Sarah’s father, Abdel Rahman Khan was a scholar from a decent non-Magical family. Previously lived in Khorasan (now Afghanistan) until Anglo-Afghan War turmoil happened, him and his family moved to Pakstan (now Pakistan). During adulthood, Abdel ventured to UK to find his dead brother who worked as lascar on ports to bring him home. Despite of his mourning, he slowly grew fond of the places in UK, especially after meeting a woman who helped his searching, Natalie Presley; a co-owner of flowermaking company.

After his searching finished and proper burial made at his home country, he decided to migrate to UK for working opportunities and married the love of his life. Of course at first his family were wary, but in the end they blessed their wedding. However, Natalie’s upper-class family is the opposite. Abdel changed his name to Khan Alderman not only for marriage, but also for employment & the unfortunate ever close-minded Victorian society; yet remain the name Khan as his first name to always remember his family and home country. Eventually, they eloped and settling themselves at a town in West Yorkshire called Halifax. Much to Natalie’s dismay to her bigoted family for not wanting to put Khan name onto hers, Natalie’s full name is Natalie Alderman.

Abdel was founded dead alongside his colleagues from explosion at his workplace, when Natalie was still pregnant at home. The case was classified as accident. Natalie was so devastated of his death, and wishing her child live life to the fullest. After giving birth to Sarah, she passed away. Natalie’s family ruthlessly blamed the baby and late Abdel. They decided not to do anything with Sarah, while Abdel’s family side were unable to afford to travel to UK to get the baby; what with the series of political and war turmoil still happening at their country.

Hence, her ties to these two families slowly disconnected, and never see them ever since. (weww this made me wanting to explore this part of story, if I’m not lazy). The baby Sarah Alderman was sent to a decent Crossley Orphanage. The photos of their parents are the only thing that keep Sarah remembering them.

Childhood at Orphanage

Before Sarah knew she was a witch, they defy conventions of the society they lived in. Short hair, constantly switching clothes from girls to boys and vice versa for her own mood and comfort, and educated in a free school just around the corner of the orphanage at Free School Lane. The last thing for 19th century folks (let alone Presley family) wanted to hear was Sarah is a witch. Mrs. Kendrew is a supportive caregiver and there are few children who are befriended with Sarah (Bonnie, Arlo and Olivia).

Sarah’s first time heard about Hogwarts was when she was 6, chit-chatting with other older orphans whose one of their distant relatives have witch lineage. Listening to their stories made Sarah daydreamed to have magic like in storybooks and attend Hogwarts someday. But with no knowledge of Sarah’s family tree, she is ordinary and low chance to even see the magical school.

Little did they know…

There were three signs of magic slowly emerged into Sarah:

At the age of 14, Sarah first began to hear whispers from orphanage’s community garden; from every single flowers and foliages, but ignored it. She thought the voices was just playing in their head.

Things went normal until one day, they tried to reach a fallen teacup from one of caregivers’ tray and it “floated” as Sarah raised their hand in panic; much to orphans and caregivers’ aghast. Many who witnessed the commotion in the Orphanage decided to be remain silent and not spread out to the world (especially Presley family).

Lastly, on her 15th/16th birthday, Sarah saw an eccentric-looking man with tall conical hat that they have never seen before walking past the market. The man, to his shock; saw Sarah sees him, in which Sarah was confused of his reaction; and begin to apparate off. Witches and wizards were living among non-magical world all this time with the help of Muggle-Repelling Charm. Only witches and wizards can see them through the said charm. This confirmed that Sarah is a witch.

Letter from Hogwarts

Sarah went to London with Mrs. Kendrew to run some errands. That is where the letter from Hogwarts suddenly fell down into their hands from an owl near Big Ben. Mrs. Kendrew regardless seemed very supportive of what has been transpired on Sarah’s life. The caregiver believes this is an opportunity that only appear once, and holds the quote “We only live once” dearly.

Few days later, Professor Fig came to orphanage to explain everything about Sarah’s late blooming magic, the witchery & wizarding world, Hogwarts, and everything. Sarah was in disbelieved, but in a positive way; like all of this felt like come out from storybook. Remembered her caregiver’s words, Sarah accepted the offer to study at Hogwarts, and begin their magical journey with the help of Professor Fig’s tutoring on basic spell-casting and other knowledge of Wizarding World before depart to Hogwarts. Hogwarts may be their new home, but Sarah will dearly miss the orphanage, Mrs. Kendrew, Bonnie, Arlo, Olivia, and other children.

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

9th fe bru ar y 2023 Thursday 4:39 am pdt

gurgle transferred liquids fart. Min ago after started to heat my head up while I lay down probably tired from being roasted, body feels tired? I did feel tired 😴 on/off difficulty breathing, I felt a weird hard to describe acid sander pain inside my head probably my brain 🧠. Probably 3rd or 4th time incubus did this to me. They behaved as if all the head trauma: hitting into hard dense wood 🪵 & steel (throat harsh rough acidic sander pain 4:45 am pdt) wasn’t painful 😖 & damaging destructive enough for them even though I felt weird & as if I lacked much control. They often made my feet run 🏃🏻‍♀️ away from multiple things & I think 🤔 it made me look 👀 strange to people & I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I thought it was a defect from the trauma. My mom occasionally told me I looked sickly with different words. 4:49 am pdt I once told someone that I hit my head (again) in an effort to get help for myself but s/he told me w/o examining me & only looking straight ahead not at me, that I would be fine. That was beginning senior year high school 🏫. At the end of the year that person got a serious brain 🧠 aneurysm. I think 🤔 that’s over doing it for karma probably? But that’s god/demon lord’s decision. Never know when karma will strike. 4:54 am pdt

5:17 am pdt when I confessed to Rebecca that I didn’t believe my relationship with my ex was going to work out from the beginning, I think I typed in an earlier blog post, I think 🤔 I gave her his bracelet to return to him. I don’t remember if I ever double checked that he received it from her 🤔for some reason I believed that she would otherwise I would not have trusted it to her. 5:21 am pdt now I’m finding it more & more difficult to trust. 5:22 am pdt

6:10 am pdt I remember the pain was strong, & there were days during sophomore year that I had headaches & I fell asleep 😴 on my bed 🛌 with the history text book 📖 open but I usually fell asleep b4 getting anything done ✅ so I did not learn much about world war 2, probably not enough to pass but it was weird bcz my friends in class thought 💭 they were doing me a huge favor & put my name on their poster for class presentation. I really don’t remember doing the necessary work or contributing to the poster. 6:15 am pdt I remember at least 2 days in a row? It happened? Headaches-> fall asleep 😴 w/ book 📖 open on bed 🛌 maybe 3 days???? Maybe 🤔 more???????? Not sure 🤔. 6:16 am pdt

6:17 am pdt I think that happened after the head trauma of running 🏃🏻‍♀️ into the steel hard (not jar 🏺)tubes of the futon metal bunk bed. B4 that, when I was 13 years old I hit my head on a very hard dense wood bench/sofa (it had an upright back to it), punched 🤛 in the head probably 3 times very powerfully hard it hurt a lot (on top 6:27 am pdt) & my vision blackout for maybe a minute, & sometime after that I looked 👀 down a lot as if I was autistic. I don’t think 🤔 I knew an autism at all back then. My mom didn’t seem to know about it until I told her recently. & if you want you can count my failed cherry 🍒 drop b4 4th grade photos from the tallest bar which was probably taller than 6 feet 🦶 into tan bark that I think usually back then probably didn’t any other type of padding material- it was probably only concrete. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ how I did not end up more deformed on the outside but you know hair covers a lot. & I flew over the top of my bicycle 🚴🏼 bars but landed 🛬 on my shoulders instead of my head. 6:27 am pdt I hit my head on that bunk bed 🛌 multiple times moments b4 going to bed 🛌 for the night. 6:28 am pdt Incubus has been tearing up all my bones 🦴 including my head the last 5 years. 6:29 am pdt I imagine he plans to smash in my brain 🧠 to kill me. Make it easy to crack like an egg 🥚. He’s been abusing my brain 🧠 a lot more the last 5 years. The torture seems unending. I feel like I’m on the verge of losing my sanity. 6:31 am pdt I don’t trust incubus + family + company. 6:32 am pdt

& he’s been roasting me toasting 🥂 me toast🍞🥖including my head. It’s unreal how hot 🥵 they make me. It’s absurd. & they lie to me like Iranian government lies to some prisoners that they are going to be fine, b4 execution. 6:36 am pdt there are reports Iranian government rapes teens they arrest. 6:36 yet the United States 🇺🇸 likes to do business with them their way to get oil? Gasoline? ⛽️ when I was in the bathroom 🚽 sometimes it smells 👃 like gas fumes. I don’t know if it’s the incubus & how he’s doing it.. I’m afraid 😱 to say brain 🧠 pain I hope they aren’t making me drink it. 6:38 am pdt Iranian government always arrest people saying the offense is that they are going against god? Bcz Iranian government is given power by god? What’s true? They have squeaky clean looking images? But yet there are report of rape of teens? Threats to rape teens if they don’t give false confessions? Who is lying 🤥??? Is rape acceptable????? To the whole world 🌎???????? 6:42 am pdt I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what’s true. But was it planned by god if they believe god gave them power? Deshana barber 💈 miss America 🇺🇸? Cutting hair Kurdish people king 🤴 David & bathsheba was it Leonard Cohen ? Song 🎵?????? I feel disposable to incubus who likes to rape Virgin Marys. But tandem meaning for those who remain Virgin who he wouldn’t ever touch. 6:45 am pdt 😵😞

incubus is detached. Doesn’t care. He makes crimes happen. 🐊teardrops???? 6:47 am pdt if I was the one being tested then that means Nick was not???? 6:48 am pdt or were we both???? 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️ Burning acid atom stomach pain 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵

7:16 am pdt I thought I typed incubus makes crimes happen? Bcz Iranian government is given power by god & if rape is unacceptable then god thinks rape is ok 👌? If rape really happens in Iran by Iranian government? If Iranian government is guilty of abuse? Who is really better? What’s the truth? How do we know!? If Nick was not under test then god was making Nick treat me like prostitute & allowed the possiblility that I would b raped & murdered bcz I was under test & Nick was my tester ? What kind of test is that??????? Bcz what if I said yes let’s meet up at your work yet he wanted no one at school 🏫 and at home 🏠 knowing about me?????? 🥵🤬😤🥵😤🥵😤😖😭😖😭😖😭 Very HOT 🥵 back now feels burned. 7:23 am pdt

And “Brendan” wanted to buy me airplane ✈️ tickets 🎫 to see him! Same thing??????? Sierra LaMar????????? 7:25 am pdt I watched Disney movies all my life & hoped too much I guess for an attractive soulmate ... 7:27 am pdt if looks can kill.......... attraction.... beasts w/ super powers to give the illusion they are better than they really are. A lot of women get raped, but the rapist blames the woman 👩🏻. I wonder where they get that mentality? 7:29 am pdt gives them a free get out of jail card from & for god. I know I’m not perfect. Far from it! But I didn’t do pre-meditated murder & rape & I feel I grew up 🆙 with the least power in my family most of the time when I was older. My mom says I was a bad kid yet she slept 🛌 & we played together and didn’t kill each other. Some familiEs can’t leave siblings alone with each other. 7:33 am pdt

7:37 am pdt I feel I cannot trust anyone ever again. Including incubus!!!! Burning 🔥 my head up again & my body making me cough. 7:38 am pdt

7:55 2 mins ago acid burning vag again. The torture never ends. In 2017 they intentionally turned me on & then tortured it with sharp very painful electric ⚡️ barbed feeling things. Over and over again second after second for minutes at a time. Thought I was going to die. 7:57 am pdt

8:05 am pdt I forgot what I was going to type. 8:06 am pdt heart ♥️ pain mins ago. I don’t think god would really sacrifice his own wife if he really loved her which is why I think incubus is a liar. 🤥 if god is afraid 😱 of sharing power with a spouse then , yeah, he would sacrifice her & comeup w/ any reason he wanted that would make him look best. This will probably bite me back to type this. But if this destruction of my body continues I’m probably better off dead ☠️ (another John cusack movie 🎥). 8:11 am pdt incubus thinks I’m catty 🐈? Dad didn’t like to hear 👂 what I wanted bcz he sometimes did give me stuff I wanted- read in an earlier blog - little mermaid 🧜‍♀️ prince Eric doll - ariel’s voice stolen by sea 🌊 witch 🧙. If anti Christ pretends to be Jesus Christ then is Chris soules (Christ soulless) actually about antichrist? What does Jesus Christ represent? Anne die dwarf man. Andy dorfman. 8:15 am pdt even with all these signs 🪧 if incubus is really emotionally detached & it is in his dna 🧬 to cheat = fake lover? Not capable of REAL LoVe 💕 lecherous rapist murderer abuser wife beater greedy monopolistic misogynist? pig 🐖? 8:18 am pdt he’s a liar but he frequently crosses his legs in concert, originally I thought 💭 for him to get high falsetto bcz choir boys? Used to get castrated to keep their angelic voices (learned in music appreciation class in college) but maybe it’s bcz he’s always getting horny? Maybe ? 8:20 am pdt the more I think 🤔 the more time I spend the more material I read sometimes things click. It only occurred to me recently after I saw a picture online of James closing his eyes next to Adam & it looked like he had a boner a few days ago & that calirosa reel on his Instagram he’s sitting 🪑 near a fire 🔥 & behati is not allowed 🚫 to show her face in the reel. 😤🥵😤🥵😤 I don’t know if that picture was photoshopped but it was randomly showing up on Instagram. 8:24 am pdt weird gurgling sound left side of abdomen. I m thinking it might be leaky gut. I don’t trust incubus & I don’t hold out much hope for the future. Their always lying to me. 😞 8:25 am pdt even the mom seemed to talk to me in my dream & I’m not sure 🤔 but I feel like someone simultaneously squeezed me as if to simulate a hug 🫂. I think 🤔 they partially commit to role playing as if they were in movies but again my eyes were closed & I don’t think 🤔 I remember hearing her talk? But I maybe 🤔 did once? I just don’t trust them. Especially with the way they deal out karma, I would think they would use my lack of courage to disclose my feelings against me & amplify it magnify enlarge it & when it’s too late reveal that it was karmic payback & a fakeout - which incubus likes to do a lot. Hot 🥵 right hip & incubus pulled on the bone 🦴 & it hurt. He usually snaps it off. 8:32 am pdt

8:36 am pdt originally bcz of that stuff incubus did & probably his gigolo assistants, @ first I thought he was referring to me as his wife. & it took me a long time to realize the it’s unreal how hot 🥵 you are line and your body is absurd line was planned out for me to understand that it was referring to me later on even after reading it several times. My rate of realization is surprisingly extremely slow! I feel like he blinded me with using all those other “devices” to brainwash 🧠 me in to accepting abuse & slow tortured death ☠️. 8:40 am pdt

8:42 am pdt I don’t remember burning 🔥 anyone to the point of pain & not being able to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ many times over. I am not sure if this is karma. I’ve burned myself in the shower 🚿 many times. & I am hesitant to type it bcz they are vicious & will re-torture me with it again if I mention it but here we go: chillblanes. I got chillblanes on my toes a lot in middle school 🏫 & probably again in high school 🏫 & later again probably. My memory is going. 😖😭 8:46 am pdt brain 🧠 stab pain.

8:50 am pdt reminder: asked Scott if he was ready for babies 👶- which he didn’t verbally respond to, only a blank? Surprised? Don’t know to say? stare so I put his d*ck back in his pants 👖, & another time I said “I don’t think we should be doing this.” 8:52 am pdt & the other to the other guy I said “you’re not getting any tonight” (left rib pain 8:54 am pdt) to which he replied “yes I am.” 8:55 am pdt I feel that the odds are against me & so is incubus. I don’t have a memory of interacting intimately with him the incubus & the way they treat me is as if I’m disposable to them. Either way, he plays love like it’s a game pretending to be in love ? Easily detached & monogamy is not in his dna 🧬. 8:57 am pdt sounds like I won the lottery on love 💕 bag acid burning pain. Difficulty breathing. 8:58 am pdt now they want to put in my head different with autocorrect combining it w/thoughts of Behati in my head. Ok 👌 8:59 am pdt did they name the baby sumner? 8:59 am pdt

incubus said porn makes the world 🌎 go round. 😞9:07 am pdt

9:13 incubus are weirdly known? Bcz there are a lot of incubus... Nick Carter???? 9:14 am pdt god does this to a lot of people. Nothing we can do. We mean 😭 nothing to them! 9:15 am pdt business as usual. 9:15 am pdt

11:03 am pdt on/off I feel I’m going insane. It’s not funny. I’m losing myself.

11:07 am pdt I remember there was a time I was babysitting 👩‍🍼 my 9 year old cousin & we walked to Walgreens together. I remember having difficulty feeling awake - like I was susceptible to falling asleep 😴 or passing out but I (heart♥️ pain 11:09 am pdt) but I kept on walking 🚶🏿‍♀️ & I remembered she was talking a lot maybe 🤔 it was this same time? To me & bcz of the way I was feeling I felt like she was talking too fast 4 me 2 responed in a timely fashion & I think she took it the wrong way my lack of timely response. I don’t remember how it was she responded I think the incubus is interfering again w/ my memory & altering it on the fly. It’s that fast 💨😳🥺?????! 11:12 am pdt I cannot trust them they keep changing my memories it’s not good. Autocorrect boxes 📦 goodbye 😌 11:13 am pdt 😱😰 either way it shows my cousin at the moment was a little self absorbed? 😑 11:14 am pdt

11:15 am pdt I think incubus doesn’t mind this bcz he uses it to his advantage maybe 🤔 that’s how date rape drugs get planted in drinks 🍺 at bars???? 11:16 am pdt

11:21 am pdt incubus mom? I feel like she might be knit picking me in my head. About running 🏃🏻‍♀️ away from people. Or pushing people away? Once bitten twice shy?? She did punch 🤛 me in the head very hard & my work performance 🎭 changed. & Scott & another guy bit me, but Scott’s bite was worse & controversial to me bcz of the spot he chose to bite/clamp & yank w/ his teeth 🦷 it was my neck probably dangerous close or was ? The jugular? Only learned that last year that it was probably the jugular. I unfortunately & embarrassingly was distracted a lot during anatomy classes, probably incubus’ way of preventing me from being successful. 11:27 am pdt

There are jokes about aliens 👽, like having to do with “take me to your leader” bcz dogs 🐕 walk in front & we pick up 🆙 their poop 💩. Aliens might think that the dog 🐶 is our boss. 11:38 am pdt I don’t have a dog 🐶 I wanted a dog. Probably could have had one 2000-2005 but didn’t. 11:39 am pdt

11:56 am pdt there was a guy I hung out with a few times who was a dj & photographer. I didn’t answer a call ☎️ once when I was at a osh? Store 🏬 & im still having difficulty w/accepting my own feelings & maybe taking responsibility for my feelings? It was the last time he called me & he decided to start hanging out w/my sister after they ran into each other. B4 this happened he asked why I didn’t add my sister to my MySpace. I told him bcz she doesn’t like my choice in music 🎶 . I think his question though was probably worded differently, & maybe he interpreted it as that she was the one who chose to not add me, not the other way around. I left it that way w/o further explanation. She once told me a song I was listening 👂 to sounded bad & that I had “horrible taste in music” I think it was kinda a last straw kind of feeling so I didn’t feel like adding her. It was utada hikaru’s this is love 💕 I think 🤔. It’s ok 👌 that he chose to hang out w/ her but I was hurt that they didn’t invite me to hang out with them, & they left me alone at the apartment. 12:04 pm pdt I also once did a speech 🎤 in my speech class about how upset I got about my ex telling me he will never love me [even though we had s*x a lot - mostly unsatisfying probably bcz we weren’t a good match] & I was upset at how fast he moved on after the breakup. I’m fine with it now. It’s rough when I had difficulty with owning up to my own flaws & feelings. A mutual friend hinted at that he said something like “he was sorry at what he did to me” which I’m not sure 🤔 what he was talking about bcz he never physically brutalized me. Once he did say if I (12:23 pm pdt want to 12:24 pmpdt ) know what crazy is to look in the mirror 🪞 & there were a few times he turned cold 🥶 like once I believed there was a zombie outside, was a guy hanging out in the corner of the carport early in the morning who was probably my neighbor an older high school 🏫 student after I think 🤔 I saw 👀 Sean of the dead w/him? Even though it’s a parody movie 🎥 (incubus bone digging pain been digging in same spot above my butt near hip bone 🦴 all morning on/off - he’s working on taking awayy legs 🦵 a reality 😞😖😭😤🥵😤🥵) I didn’t do well I think I screamed when all the 🧟‍♀️ zombies reached into the abdomen of a man & started pulling out organs to eat. I think 🤔 I was shaking? 12:14 am pdt autocorrect said shaming sharing. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t know why 12:15 pm pdt

12:17 pm pdt zombies 🧟‍♀️ are essentially cannibals, so maybe 🤔 my fears were actually more about cannibals?????? Silence of the lambs.... moths... Tim mothy mouthy what is that exactly is that what I’m doing now? 12:19 pm pdt

12:24 pmpdt there were many times I thought 💭 about breaking up 🆙 with my first real boyfriend. He’s not a bad person. We weren’t meant to be is all. I wonder though if it would have worked out if I didn’t grow up the way I did & got all that head trauma. Karam never apologized. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what happened to her. I still don’t know why she punched me (2-3xs on top of my head & made my vision black out for a minute, & I seemed to become autistic not long after?) people can grow out of autism which is the good news 📰 & there is brain elasticity but sometimes it takes a while. Brains (12:33 pmpdt autocorrect changed it 2xs: BRIAN 12:34 pmpdt) Stowe? I looked him up last year? & I think he was close to making a full recovery, & he got beat up all over- he was aparamedic? At San Francisco (Giants? 12:34 pmpdt 12:35 pmpdt) baseball game & he was also incontinent. He was very beat up 🤕 very badly. It’s taking him along time to recover. I need to check on the news about him soon. 12:31 pmpdt

you never know what you’re going to get. 12:35 pmpdt

12:37 pmpdt my first real boyfriend did want to be my boyfriend B4 we got together & he said it out loud to another guy when that other guy asked if I was his girlfriend so he could get my number.

My feelings change abruptly. & usually I didn’t understand why. I usually have to guess why. Head trauma issues? 12:39 pmpdt it gets frustrating when my feelings change abruptly, it’s also asdfs (12:41 pmpdt what? “Adds”) to my confusion? 12:41 pmpdt for example w/ a guy Ientiomed mentioned (autocorrect decides not to work? No...) the one who rejected 🙅‍♂️ me & said I will have blonde babies 👶 he once talked about marriage when I got accepted to transfer into a good 4 year university but dating/dinners were contingent upon getting b’s or A’s & my feelings changed automatically I think again? It was the 2nd or third or fourth time I got turned off/ didn’t want to talk to him & I think previous times I was more confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ why. But that time I think I had a now I think it was a weird reason for me to be turned off (my rib cage is tight again making it harder to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ like a corset after a lot of brutal heat 12:48 pmpdt I’m tired of trying) I had thought 💭 I worked hard b4 to be able to transfer now, why would I need prompting or motivation to do well from him? I forgot that when I dated my ex that maybe 🤔 I could have done a lot better? I worked hard on a summer semester on Spanish but I’m still not anywhere close to fluent.. (heard neighbor say sh*t 12:51 pmpdt young man) it takes me aloooong time to do homework 📚 12:52 pmpdt probably head trauma stuff although now I’m wondering 💭 (pain scalp 12:53 pmpdt) about incubus assistants. 12:53 pmpdt seeing flashing lights not in direct view, bottom , on hand ✋ 12:54 pmpdt. I remember once my feelings dropped for that guy & I mourned the loss of a loving 🥰 feeling for him & was mystified? Why it abruptly stopped. He had just cancelled 😞 on our plans to hang out, he said for an aunt’s funeral & something about candles 🕯 on a river? 12:56 pmpdt & that’s when my first real boyfriend asked me to see a movie 🎥 w/him. 12:57 pmpdt eternal sunshine 🌞 of a spotless mind but I got nausea while watching it & had to stop. 12:58 pmpdt

1:07 pm pdt they’re messing with my memories & feelings a lot. I feel like there’s a wall that won’t let me think about something. 1:08 pmpdt

2:23 pmpdt I had a lot of difficulty breathing today. Trying to think 🤔 bcz I think there was a possibility that I was upset about the things he wrote to me & him moving on too fast, I think I might have unintentionally left out some details... important details. Sometimes it happens when I feel a strong emotion or time pressured... it’s ok that he would never love me. What’s important to me at this moment is that he was a pretty good boyfriend &!he honored me by giving me the title & the chance. But I’m the moment of being a failure it was probably a little hard to take at that moment. He took me out to eat a lot. & maybe I failed to mention this stuff in my speech in class. My sister watched my speech 🎤 &!said she was disappointed but didn’t say exactly why. I’m concerned that mayb I sold out 😞😬 shamefully for a grade a little bit by opting to write a speech about it in the first place 🥇 & did him a disservice by not mentioning more about how the actual relationship was before the breakup.... I think my focus was the breakup. I even cut a beanie he bought me. That was a nice beanie. That was stupid. 2:31 pm pdt I did NOT tell the class his name or show a picture of him, but I donated a plush toy 🧸 he got me for Valentine’s Day it was really nice toy 🧸 2 bears 🐻 w/magnets on the mouths 👄 so they kiss 💋 I donated it to a classmate in the same class bcz she was collecting toys 🧸 to donate to children. & I told her I had to give it away bcz my ex boyfriend gave it to me. 2:34 pmpdt I think 🤔 I told her that. Now I’m doubting myself if I did or not 😓😰 2:35 pmpdt ow pain nose 👃 sharp

2:43 pmpdt and😤🥵😤🥵 the beanie I tore for the attention getter. 2:46 pmpdt I think it was hard for me to fall in love. Bcz i had difficulty being myself? 2:48 we were together for more than a year. 2:50 pmpdt he wasn’t rich 🤑 but he wasn’t poor? But I gave him his new bed 🛌... when we first got together. 2:52 pmpdt I thought I had started to like him & then the feelings changed. 2:53 pmpdt it was probably the same for him but maybe his feelings were stronger for me than mine were for him. One time he sang a love 💕 song in the grocery store 🏬 while holding me from behind. 2:55 pmpdt

2:59 pmpdt I don’t think he ever whore shamed me publicly? Maybe he doubted my fidelity. If we had waited to have s*x maybe 🤔 we would not have had this problem? Waited until sure it was a long lasting love 💕? I gave him my virginity but he lost his b4 me. 3:02 pmpdt I appreciate his honesty. I don’t think he pressured me into doing it. I don’t recall feeling pressured. 3:04 pmpdt but after him I really felt like waiting for a guy I was certainly inlove with bcz it was emotional torture & guilt not being able to reciprocate stronger feelings of amour/love. 3:06 pmpdt

[m-jelly]

I can ask for one where the reader is a children's teacher and Levi is a firefighter, then one day the reader decides to go on a short outing with his students to show them what the fire department is like, that kind of thing, and that's where he meets Levi 🏃🏻‍♀️... Levi falls in love with the reader so much that he dares to ask her out and all that... can you give it a fluffy ending please hahaha😭🏃🏻‍♀️

Hi, I'm currently closed for requests right now. I will change my Ask button to Open when I'm back open again. I have over 50 things in my inbox right now and can't take anymore. The only thing I'm taking is Halloween things.

Sorry again.

I will post an announcement when my inbox is open again, which will probably be in about three-four weeks' time. If you can't wait, then let me know and I'll point you towards some other fan fic creators who are open for asks.

[kodzuken-chan]

You should do a part 2 to the “Monster Trio reacting to their S/O giving them a wedding invitation” and it’s the wedding day and the S/O realizes that the person they are marrying, isn’t for them, and they confess that they love someone else and run out of the church or wherever. Then the monster trio finds them and like, confesses that they love them and yknow, happy ending?

Anyway, feel free to ignore. Have a nice day! Hope this isn’t to picky 😊

A/N: Aweeee its not😚 actually I had this on my mind since I posted the Headcanon, I was hesitant but now no, I'll definitely write this~!! Les go🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

Related to : Monster Trio reacting to their S/O giving them a wedding invitation (They're not the Groom)

It turned longer than I've expected, please Enjoy it~!!!

<<Pictures are not mine, Credits to the owners>>

⚠️ Warnings: Mention of exploiting, maybe some insults, insecurities on Zoro part & Cheating on Sanji's part

-(Y/G/N)= Your Groom's Name

-This might be kinda modern hehe

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Monster Trio finding their S/O out of the wedding and confess their Love Headcanon

--------------------

Summary: Your wedding day has finally arrived, and despite getting their heart broken, the three boys made sure to attend the wedding and be there for you on your happiest day of life. However things don't turn out so good🔸

Luffy

You were sitting in your waiting room after finishing your photoshoot session with the guests

You kinda felt nervous, so you decided to head out for some fresh air

Leaving your belongings at the waiting room

You went out, got the amount of fresh air you needed

And now you're on your way back to the waiting room

You're about to head inside when your Groom's voice echoed in the room

"To whom he's talking to?"

You peeked through the tiny space in the door, and you saw something

That had you make re-think your life decisions on your wedding day

There was your groom with his sister ruffling in your purse, making a huge mess

He took out the money you had in, and gave it to his sister

Your jaw dropped at the sight and you took your eyes off holding on to the wall

"Take this for now, I'll give you more once our honeymoon is over, from her salary of course" you overheard him saying to his sister

You were in disbelief, you didn't bare to hear more of that shit so you ran out of the whole place

Now that explains why your bank amount calculation had always something missing with it

Your groom was stealing from you, either in cash or with your credit card

He always deleted the bank messages from your phone

Obviously because he knew your phone lock password

You had no time to waste, so you immediately head to the bank and asked them to stop the withdrawals on your credit card

Once you were done saving your money's life

You dropped by the beach, feeling betrayed and pathetic, trying to process what happened

He didn't love you for who you are, he loved just loved you for your money

Luffy suddenly popped inside your head

"But you're my wifey!!!!!" You remembered his words the day you gave him your wedding invitation

He was always there for you, making your day brighter than it was

How fool you were?

How blind you were?

To not realize for that all this time, it was always Luffy

Luffy always preoccupied your mind and heart, even the moment you were waiting in the waiting room

You were always just thinking of him, so is it too late if you asked him to be with you instead? You wondered

On the other side, the wedding have already started

But there was no sign of the bride, and that had Luffy worried

Once he found no one anywhere around the hall, he realized that you must have ran away

Because, all of your things are there but you're not?!

After few hours of useless searching, Luffy finally found you in the place that he assumed you'd be

He approached and sat next to you, noticing the tears stains on your face

He knew something happened, because you wouldn't have ran away for no reason in the first place

He took your hand in his, and it was all what you needed to let out the pain and regret inside of you

You told him everything until you were out of words

"Tell me then Y/N, would you like to be my wifey again? Not in the house game but in real life?" He asked with a serious face

You were shocked at the sudden confession, and you thought he's just trying to cheer you up

But his serious face assured you that he wasn't joking around

He was meaning what he said by heart

By the end of that day, Luffy was the one to wait for you at end of the aisle ❤️

Zoro

The wedding was reaching its climax

There weren't much people at the wedding though

Just your crew mates, and close family members

You didn't want to make a huge wedding, its expensive and energy consuming

So, You've already walked to the aisle

And Zoro was the man who walked you down there

Obviously because your parents lived in the other half of the world

And they couldn't make it to the wedding itself

So they joined through a Zoom session LMAO I'M SORRY THIS IS SILLY

And eventually you asked Zoro to walk you down the aisle to your groom

To which he accepted despite the pain he had in his heart

Once you reached to (Y/G/N)

Ready to say your vows to each other

You noticed the mocky expression (Y/G/N) had on his face the moment you stood infront of him

Let alone that he never took your hand in his like he did always

But, You never saw that expression before, so your kind heart just assumed that he was just teasing you to ease the tension because you THOUGHT that he was as nervous as you

But you were wrong, you knew the moment he opened that mouth of his

" Oh my gosh...Huh, please Y/N spare me, I thought at least that you'll get prettier on our wedding day, but god look at you! Is that even make up? And from where did you get that dress? The trash? You seem to have gained weight as well" he mocked loudly infront of everyone

(Y/G/N) wasn't someone you fell for like from first sight or whatsoever

You met him through an arranged date you went to with your friend

Because apparently, her boyfriend said that his friend would be suitable for you

So you gave it a try and he wasn't that bad

I mean you two started going out after knowing each other and you eventually fell for him

You clenched your fingers into your white dress, not knowing if you're embarrassed or angry

"Oh please, consider this marriage over, I can't tolerate this for the rest of my life" he commented only to get a hard slap on his face

FROM YOU

Then You harshly threw him with your flower bouquet and ran out of the hall tossing your heels away

Zoro's glare and dark aura couldn't get scarier than it is now, it was as if he's going to commit a crime

He approached (Y/G/N) and grabbed him from the collar

And with that cold stare, he was ready to make the man infront of him lose his memory forever

Or worse, Lose his entire life

But Sanji and Luffy stopped him last second

"Oi Marimo! Get back to your senses! Leave this shit bag to me and go find Y/N-chan!''

Zoro snapped out of his anger once he heard your name, and immediately rushed out looking for you

You sat on the bus stop bench, regretting the fact that you wanted a person like (Y/G/N) as your life partner

"Y/N, you're pathetic" you said to yourself as you sobbed

You never knew why, but you wished if Zoro can be here with you right now

Although he's blunt sometimes and likes to tease you alot

But he never disrespected you even once, in fact he respected you the most, for your morals and personality

Yet he was always there for you when you needed someone to rely on

Its Now when you realized that it should have been Zoro, not (Y/G/N)

You sobbed even more when you realized that Zoro might not feel the same way towards you

But then at that moment, he finally found you crying by yourself on the bus stop bench

He stood there, looking at you

He never liked it whenever you cried, he knew that you will never cry unless you're hurt

He approached you, and you couldn't be more surprised for his sudden appearance

He took your wrist and pulled you to his embrace, then looked at you ready to walk back

"Z-Zoro! Wait...I don't wanna go back, I don't want to get married, I'm so embarrassed that-" but he interrupted you with a kiss that had you stunned at the sudden confession

"Of course you're not going back to that shit head, and you shouldn't be embarrassed" he said

"T-Then ...what are we going to-"

He fixed your hair, dress, wiped the remaining tears of your face, then interlocked both of your fingers

"Instead of walking you to the aisle, I'll wait for you there this time" he smiled, squeezing your hand

You smiled, and the tears formed again, but faded soon as you ran back hand in hand to the wedding hall

But this time, Zoro is your Groom💚

Sanji

Sanji was sitting with the guests, waiting for you to make an appearance through the large hall door

In your white dress

Of course it hurts him so much, Because you're wearing that dress for another man

But as long as you'll live happily with that smile on your face

He wouldn't mind it, he'll make sure to be there for you if you ever needed him

However, what annoyed him the most is that the Groom wasn't there yet

By this time, (Y/G/N) should have been standing at the end of the aisle waiting for you

"Tsk..That bastard...its their wedding day and he's late for Y/N-chan" he murmured

While you were there waiting for the clock to hit, for the time you'd make your appearance at, In the waiting room

As soon as the time came, you got up and made your way with your father next to you

Once the huge door opened, you shyly started walking on the aisle

Until you noticed that the groom isn't there

You stood in halfway in the middle of the aisle looking around for (Y/G/N)

But he was no where to be seen around

Sanji noticed the concern on your face, as you slightly started to panic from the negative thoughts you had

He got up and approached you

"Sanji, Where is (Y/G/N)? " You asked worried

"I'm sorry Y/N-chan, but he hadn't arrived yet, no one saw him" he replied

"I'm going to look for him, maybe something bad happened to him and he needs help" you said as you held Sanji hand nervously

"I'll come with you then" he assured you

Although you were concerned about your groom, but you did notice something off with Sanji

Of course you couldn't immediately guess what was it

But you decided to ask him later when you find (Y/G/N)

With your bride's flower bouquet, you started looking for (Y/G/N) around the hall waiting rooms and, toilets

But he wasn't there

"That jerk should have a compelling reason for his lateness" cursed Sanji under his breath

However, his car was there in the parking lot, that means he's somewhere here

You decided to look for him again

But the unexpected happened

You passed by one of the hall coordinators' offices, and unfortunately there was a window in the door

You stood there, absolutely shocked at the view you're looking at

It was shocking to the point that you dropped the bouquet from your hand

"What's the matter Y/N-chan?" He questioned, finally following you

But Sanji became speechless when he saw that tear sliding over your cheeks, before you started running away

Leaving the flower bouquet on the ground

Sanji was confused until he saw what you witnessed, giving the same reaction as you did

But instead of running away, he grew furious to the point his facial veins popped up

His blood was boiling in agitation

In the office sat your bride's mate with your groom, making out with each other

Sanji couldn't stop himself but rage on (Y/G/N), although he never touched your bride's mate, since he'll never hurt women

But What he did to (Y/G/N) was enough for her to learn her lesson and never ruin someone's else wedding

And a good lesson for (Y/G/N) to not mess with ladies if he's never serious about them

Sanji finally realized that you ran away, and he needs to find you before you breakdown

Taking your neglected flower bouquet from the floor, Sanji immediately went out searching for you

You had nowhere else than Sunny go to go back to, its your home after all

And out of all places and rooms, you went to your favorite place, the kitchen

You sat on the dinning table, you can't believe what you have witnessed

How can he do that to you, no how stupid you were to not notice that he was cheating on you?

You looked around the kitchen, its filled with Sanji's scent, it somehow calmed your sobs

Come to think of it, you came into realization to what is off with Sanji

His eyes were sad

There was pain in them

They weren't ever like that before though

Ever since you gave him your invitation card, you noticed how distant he became

Of course he acted the way he usually did, but the way he does it changed

Your memory just kept recalling all of the things and love he showed you the moment he met you until day

He was caring and genuine, you sobbed again

You heart was in conflict, you just wanted all of this to end

You just....

You just wanted to cry your lungs out in Sanji's warm embrace

Sanji always provided you with that warmth that you never once felt from (Y/G/N)

After looking and looking, he finally fiured out where he can find you

He approached Sunny, and went to straightly to the kitchen

He approached the door, but his heart shattered into piece when he heard your broken sobs

Opening the door after knocking, he approached your suave figure and knelt down

You immediately couldn't help but throw yourself at him, sobbing and sobbing

And held you close, tightening his grip to protect your heart

Once you calmed down, he wiped the tears of your face, and brushed the hairlines off it

"I'm sorry Sanji...you had to go through all of this because of me-"

"Shhhh....its not your fault, you might take my words personally but, its better that you found out about him now than later, it might have gotten harder and harsher for you to-"

"I know....I'm somehow relieved that it ended that way, or else I would have gotten myself into non ending headache and stress and end up regretting my whole life" you said sighing

After few minutes of silence

"Y/N-chan" he called

"Hmmm?"

"I know this might not be the right time to say this, and I might not be as good to be with a an awesome lady like you but, would you like to be my wife instead?" He confessed offering your forgotten bouquet

Your vision became blurry once again, you knew that you'll live happily if a man like him was your life partner

You can just tell from the way he looks at you, his eyes speaks every emotion he holds towards you

Maybe all of this happened for you to realize your and Sanji's feelings towards each other

Maybe it was your fate to end up together after all of this time

Blinking the tear away to clear your vision, you nodded in agreement accepting the bouquet from his hands

And then he brushed his lips over yours

"Shall we go back to the hall to say our vows then?" He smiled, holding your hands and you nodded

"But Y/N-chan, don't be sad if my nose started bleeding, I can't help it because you look like a princess" he pouted but you chuckled at his comment

"That's the smile that I wanted to see" he said caressing your cheeks before taking your hand, going back to the wedding hall

Sanji is indeed your life partner for eternity 💙

[nkogneatho]

Awkward sex moments with Jujutsu Kaisen characters .

(Read at your own risk. Don't come after me🏃🏻‍♀️)

(ft. Gojou Satoru, Itadori Yuuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Ryomen Sukuna, Inumaki Toge, Nanami Kento, Kugisaki Nobara)

Warnings: Nsfw. The characters in this post are all aged up.

1. Gojou Satoru: He felt like he had to pee but......boy he had a boner as you were grinding against him. It's nearly impossible and painful for boys to do it. He didn't even say anything until it got really uncomfortable. (I don't feel your pain Sato baby but do tell me next time)

2. Itadori Yuuji: Now my virgin innocent boy here thought condom and balloons are the same so let's just say it was a turn off to see him with a deflated balloon hanging between his legs. (How come you are so dumb? I still love you tho.)

3. Fushiguro Megumi: He came before you within 5 mins the first time you guys did it and it hurt his pride so he stayed depressed about if for one whole month. (Baby, it happens.😭And I am sorry for laughing)

4. Inumaki Toge: Accidentally moaned "Don't move" with his cursed speech and then there you were lying as a human statue as he tried every postion with you.👁👄👁 (Bitch Imma poison your Onigiri one day)

5. Ryomen Sukuna: Wanted to try some new positions which were slightly uncomfortable and ended up getting a cramp in his hips. Mmmm. A man with a hard on and cramp...interesting. (You saw this coming fool😏)

6. Nanami Kento: Had a urgent call from the company and boy he literally attended it, got dressed up and left for the meeting leaving you naked and wet on the bed with a 'what the fuck' expression. (Imma head out. Go marry your job)

7. Kugisaki Nobara: Despite how cold she acts, she nearly cried when you asked her to degrade you in the middle of sex. (Yer so sweet baby. I know you can do it).

A/n: ♡Hope you enjoyed. Tell me if you want part 2♡

[teawaffles]

yuumori ch64

Now on Cubari and Mangadex

and there we have it! decided to just get this out first before I hunker down for revision :3 and thank you so much for all the kind comments! 🥰 please know I really really appreciate all of them even though I can’t always reply (^^;

🍾 a quick disclaimer: sherlock mentions a dinner appointment in this chapter — but on the off-chance that it turns out to be a lunch (the original text did not specify which meal it is, though it’s more likely a dinner), I’ll make the edits accordingly :x

🐈 about mangadex: all my chapters are now on mangadex too! this is because mangadex recently re-enabled chapter edits and deletion, so I feel more confident putting the chapters there now.

I’ll update both mangadex and cubari in parallel, so you can pick which reader you like (｀・ω・´)

> more under the cut regarding the plan henceforth:

🎄 ch65

as mentioned a while ago, I’ll only be able to start working on this during winter break (end-Dec), due to exams. I’ll post an update when there is significant progress made.

🏃🏻‍♀️ the general plan for 2022

I’ve summarised this in the pinned intro post, but I thought I should draw attention to it here too, just in case:

scanlations will be best-effort only (i.e. not a priority for me) during term time

but I intend to catch up with the chapters when my schedule becomes more free (likely after july)

of course, it would be best if someone else is able to make regular + good-quality scanlations during this time though — please feel free to take over if you are able!

Aside: This is also why I’ve labelled my scanlations on cubari as “interim”, since I can’t claim to be a regular scanlator right now.

🍵 scanlation update posts

although this is technically a light novel blog, I’ll keep using teawaffles to post chapter updates since everyone’s already here. but if a new light novel comes out someday, then the scanlation updates will be moved to a separate blog for tidiness (｡･ω･｡)

PS: If you got the “hounding” reference in the chapter, feel free to leave a comment :3 (hint: one of the 4 canon sherlock novels)