#i wish i could be w them rn so we could properly celebrate together..

[1980ssunflower]

AOAUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MIS AMORESSS

[ogeeitsme]

Do you mind if I ask 11, 8 and 25?

(the post was strtd by peter n ended w me, Kris kdnkdn)

We don’t mind!

11 - first impressions of your fictives

Woah, I don’t know who to answer this- mostly because I’m like, should everyone say their thing? Since you know, everyone has different perspectives? To keep the answer short, I’ll just say my point of view! And if anyone has specific people they wanna ask, you can ask again! Actually, starting now, if you guys want someone specific to answer you can say so!

So... I won’t state everyone, because there’s a lot of people, but I‘ll do the people I’ve talked to properly!

Chara - Scary and really serious, like, they don’t have to tell me anything I could totally just leave the room if they gave me a glare. Even if they’re shorter than me, they have this like vibe that tells you that they don’t mess around

Kris - I thought he’d be quiet at first, he didn’t move a lot, but then he was suuper welcoming and dragged me into a lot of stuff- honestly he really helped me into getting used to front a lot! It felt safer when he was around, especially in my first days

Mister Crowley - he looked really business-y, but I liked him. I thought he was cool, and then he ended up being one of my dads! I thought he’d be a more angry person, but he’d rather lounge on a sofa

Miss Toriel - she’s soft! And she’s such a good mom.. she’s so supportive of everyone and just wants everyone to feel safe and happy! She really cares

MJ - I won’t lie, I was like super weirded out, excited, and worried ALL at the same time. Like, I was just is she gonna be okay here, like is it gonna be weird? And then you know, she found out I liked her this whole time and I found out too I think, and I guess we’re.. together now?

Miss Undyne - very loud, super supportive, and i was afraid that she’d just supplex me if she wanted to. She kinda yells a lot- but to support you!

Frisk - finally, someone else who gets to be called “baby”!

Mister MTT - I was honestly really nervous to meet him.. I was the first person he talked to- and that fear of when new members say “oh I’ve been here a while now!” Is real. Then I saw Frisk run over to jump all over him and he was really cool. He’s super flamboyant and when he talks in the body, he still sounds like a celebrity! He really cares though, I think that’s awesome

Miss Fluttershy - she’s kind of like the show.. uh, I won’t lie, I was a little tired after the first few days..? because she was panicking almost the whole time for two days straight and the emotional bleed was pret-ty intense so we were kind of having a panic attack non-stop for a while..? After that was over, she apologized and was really nice about it! Also ponies are tall??? I’m 5’6 or something and I forgot how much taller horses are after I saw how tall she was- and that’s a pony- geez

Miss Tempest - Uh, pretty angry.. when she and Miss Fluttershy came to the system at the same time, they apparently got a flood of memories of recent events so.. it’s like they got. A little run through of what they were getting into- so Miss Tempest got a quick summary of everything and that’s what got her mad when we first met..

8 - Songs that remind your introjects of their source?

[content warning 4 violence, harm, vent music :,^)] [ps this part took so long 2 make Idk y mksksh]

Peter - I’m not sure.. but I guess I’d have to say old-ish music (especially upbeat ones)? Maybe like.. new wave? Uh, I don’t like just new wave but they remind me of my source a lot. But sometimes they’re a weird genre. I’m not sure why I like old-ish music a bunch, but the others think it’s because of my movies’ OST? And yeah, pf I agree. They just remind me a little of Uncle Ben- he introduced to some music as a kid. And it just reminds me of my room, hanging out with friends- good vibes

Sal - Rock and Metal, for obvious reason lol. Besides Sanity’s Fall (they’re in youtube, check it out) it’s those for sure. GOD, actually the other day, we were revisiting the Halo Theme song- specifically the Mjolnir version and [chefs kiss] oof [chefs kiss] so good. It yells my source vibes. Actually I have a playlist just dedicated to rock and metal, and all my playlists are public on spotify, so if you have the skill you can definitely find them- shouldn’t be that hard

Kris - TBH IDK,,, bc I like a lot of genres,,,,, b I g (besides the DR OST) I’d say mayb contmprry soul? Or neo contemporary soul? Actlly I’m thinking of different state of mind by kid bloom bc it reminds me of my room b like in a calm way? I named my playlist on chill music aftr that DKJDKJ. Uhhh most of the songs that remind me of my source dsnt bring that much good mmries :,^) but here’s som songs that remind me of source: Soda by Nothing But Thieves, Don’t Know What To Do by Ck9c [it’s undrtle b I rel8 except this is wht I feel twrds Asriel n not the othr way arnd, esp when I was new 2 the sys :^( ], Nervous by The Neighbourhood [like how ppl must hav felt abt me in my source/canon :,,,^) plus how I felt w the entity arnd,,,, lowkey accur8 it hurts KDJDKHDDBHM if it wasn’t a love song lol], Afraid by The Neighbourhood [OOF I rmmbr I listnd 2 this a lot when I was new, this was rlly source vibes <:^/ me @ the entity, more accur8 than Nervous tbh], You’re Somebody Else by Flora Cash [probs Noelle @ me], SRRY MINE IS SO LONG

Chara - (I’ll b typing these 4 thm bc they’re not rlly the best rn, a LOT reminds thm abt source/canon so I’ll just grab a handful of diff emtions JDKDJ n I wnt explain jst go nuts I g KDHDJ- Kris) Won’t Give Into Darkness by Ck9c (obv rsns), Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar, The Valley by The Oh Hellos, Back To You by Twin Forks, Dust Inside The Light by Florist, Everything’s Alrightby Laura Shigihara, Please Leave a light On When You Go by Britain Ashford, Two Slow Dancers by Mitski, Stuff Is The Way by They Might be Giants, Echo by Circrush, Brutus by The Buttress, No Culture by Mother Mother, Choke by IDKHBTFM, This is Love by ATC, If I Killed Someone For You by Alec Benjamin

Spinel - (she isn’t arnd Rn b I’ll answ 4 her n say electro swing n swing music 👀, it her fave genre b also it reminds her of source dmdb)

Mettaton - he says anything that sounds like you’d put it on a runway/catwalk pff

25 - 3 Rndom fun facts abt an introjct!

I’m frnting now so I’ll pick on som1 MSHSWNK

I’m pickin Sal

-> he changes his hair like all the time, b we notice the messier it is the worse his mental st8 is in? If he’s feeling rlly ok, he’ll braid it, half of the time he’s in a pnytail or his hair is dwn, b sometimes u’ll catch him w his pigtails, esp w his age is yngr

-> he actlly has his guitar inspace! Sometimes he jams by himself n it’s Rlly Good 👌👌👌 (he wishes the body cld play the guitr sldjdkj, I rel8)

-> he has a cat!!!! inspace!! Like if u walk in his rm, his cat is like somwer, uslly On him

[5hfanfiction]

Burning Memories (One Shot)

Summary: Camila and Lauren reunite by fire at the beach as they reflect on their past relationship while active in Fifth Harmony and struggle to wrap their heads around what’s in store for them as they navigate adulthood and contemplate the future.

Burning Memories

Camila Cabello was no more than ten yards from her car and already breaking a sweat from the weight of the logs and kindling she was carrying. She silently cursed the spontaneity of her plans and the resulting poor execution. The notebooks tightly squeezed into the backpack on her shoulders may as well have been bricks when combined with the other supplies that she brought along to the beach. However, it was inching near sunset, so being aware of how dark it would get afterward inspired a slight hustle in her to find the perfect spot for setting up.

There were a few other people within eyesight scattered along the beach but nobody close enough to get a good look at pop music’s stream queen. Ideally wherever she landed would stay secluded and afford her the privacy desired to conquer the evening’s mission without fear of recognition. At just about the point when she felt like her arms might fall off or her legs might give out from under her, Camila found a space that met her criteria and she gently dropped her supplies down to the sand in relief.

In hindsight she realized it may have been more effective to kidnap a girl scout as numerous unsuccessful attempts at starting a fire had come and gone. She opted to take a break and enjoy viewing the sunset when her frustration with the fire-starting reached a peak. It was difficult for Camila to remember the last time she let herself get lost in the beauty of her landscape, and in a way it helped relax her mind away from thoughts about the reason she came out there in the first place.

As the last visible piece of the sun dwindled away from view, Camila returned her attention toward the unlit logs and the unzipped backpack lazily tossed a few feet away. It was barely visible at that point, so she broke the “no cell phone” policy she intended to enforce in order to use her flashlight app. Unfortunately, breaking this rule meant she saw she had received a text from her second least favorite person in that moment, and her level of restraint to prevent her from reading it was minimal to none once she knew it was there.

“Thx, Camz! After the date’s set I can send you an invite. Is your parents’ address ok? It’d be good to c u. Matthew is welcome as your +1, ofc. :)”

Camila took a deep breath as she flipped her phone over so the screen was facing away from her again, against her leg. Lauren wasn’t her friend anymore, far from it, but enough time had lapsed that they could be civil enough to acknowledge each other when congratulations were in order. Ty had apparently proposed to Lauren a while ago, but the media somehow didn’t catch on before the couple chose to announce it themselves on Instagram a few hours before Camila’s escape to the beach.

It had been barely tens minutes after Camila read the announcement and found the courage to text Lauren her well wishes about the news that her boyfriend, Matthew, requested to FaceTime from overseas. He told her he wanted to take a break because of their disagreement over when to have children. He explained how he needed time to think about whether he could wait as much time as Camila needed to ride the wave of her current career success. Although she recognized that the pressure to start a family was a risk that could come from dating a significantly older man, it didn’t occur to her the topic would be pressed as soon as it was. This “break” seemed more like an ultimatum, so she decided on a whim that if her relationship was going to burn to ashes, then so too would the evidence of all the emotions past loves have made her feel.

Camila flipped her phone back over with every intention of going straight to the flashlight, but she felt a tug in her gut that told her to send a response to Lauren’s text first.

“The address here (Miami) is fine. But if I don’t have a +1 anymore, am I still invited?”

She felt stupid the moment she hit send, as her response was practically begging for questions, yet a part of her truly was curious if being in a relationship made her presence in Lauren’s life less awkward now. Rather than waste time obsessing over receiving a response, Camila tapped on the YouTube app and resorted to searching “how to build a lasting fire.” She had begun taking mental notes from the video she selected when a “ding” indicating a new text message interrupted.

“Here? Are you in Miami RN 2?”

‘Too? Oh no..’ Camila thought to herself as she reread the text to be sure. Lauren spent so much downtime in LA last she checked (not that she was keeping tabs or anything). It didn’t even occur to her they could both be in Miami at the same time.

“Yeah 4 1 wk. U?”

Camila barely had a chance to re-open the video before receiving another text alert.

“I fly back to LA tmrw. Want to grab a drink 2night?”

Camila felt her heart rate increase at the suggestion. Last time they intentionally spent time together she hadn’t been old enough to go out for a drink in the states, not that her celebrity status couldn’t have gotten her around that. What would Lauren think of her now? Sure, she had proven herself in the industry despite the controversy surrounding her exit from a group that had since gone on hiatus, but what would Lauren say to the scene that was laid out before her on the beach? What would she make of Camila aimlessly sitting in the sand beside notebooks filled with her most private thoughts, lyrics, and ideas, one of which was exclusively filled with content related to once loving the woman in question?

“I’m @ the beach.”

It wasn’t a direct invitation for Lauren to join her, but it may as well have been. It certainly wasn’t an outright rejection to meeting up either.

“What part? Is any1 else w/ u? I can meet u there.”

Camila sent a text back with more specific details about her location based on where she had parked, after which Lauren had announced that she would “see her soon & bring some treats.” Camila didn’t waste anymore time preparing the fire, as anxiety about the situation to come gradually crept up on her. The last thing she wanted to admit upon their reunion was how pathetic she was at something as simple as building a campfire, so she was determined to have it going strong before Lauren’s arrival.

It slipped Camila’s mind to conceal the contents of the backpack before it was too late. A noticeable figure was approaching her location quickly, and whether it was Lauren or a stranger out for blood, she wasn’t certain she wouldn’t die either way. To the relief of millions of fans worldwide, it was in fact Lauren who eventually came into full view and not a random sociopath excited to claim their next victim.

“I remember when you used to be afraid of wandering alone in the dark,” Lauren reminisced aloud as she retrieved a bottle of Grey Goose from a bag she had been carrying.

“Who’s to say that isn’t still true? Some emotions overpower fear depending on the circumstances,” Camila countered before gesturing toward the liquor. “Is that standard for celebrating an engagement?”

Lauren took a seat beside Camila in the sand, being sure to keep a safe distance from the fire that was finally burning properly.

“Probably not, but it’s good enough to celebrate being two people who are catching up after going through shit. Besides, Ty and I celebrated the engagement properly right after it happened.”

Lauren took a decent-sized swig directly from the bottle before offering it to Camila. Camila didn’t hesitate to accept, although she stuck to a more manageable sip. She was a lightweight and knew better than to start off with too much, too fast.

“Congrats again, by the way. Marriage is a big step. How’d you know you were ready?”

Camila knew it was a heavy question, but the way they used to be never involved treading lightly.

Lauren took another sip from the bottle and shrugged.

“It’s so rare to find someone who supports you for you, for everything you are, and everything you stand for despite all the noise in the world trying to sell us a false image of what perfect people and perfect love should be. Ty has never tried to change me. He understands nobody ever could.”

Camila pondered Lauren’s response carefully, before settling on a nod followed by a much bigger gulp of the vodka than she intended.

“Matthew wants me to stop taking birth control,” Camila blurted before the more reserved part of her brain could censor the thought from spilling out.

Lauren’s eyes widened noticeably before she tried to play it off by digging a small hole in the sand to store the bottle in temporarily.

“Wow,” is all Lauren managed to reply, taking the time to let it sink in where they both were with their lives now compared to when they had been close.

“Today he asked for us to 'take a break’ because the last time we saw each other we argued about it, and I guess it’s giving him second thoughts about me.”

Camila reached across Lauren to retrieve the liquor bottle and take another gulp, only wincing a little as she underestimated how the amount consumed would burn on the way down.

Lauren had to bite her tongue to the point of almost drawing blood to stop herself from saying something she’d regret. It wasn’t her place to judge someone’s relationship. She hated when it happened to her, and happen it did…almost constantly.

Lauren settled on her first question carefully.

“Are you having second thoughts about him?”

“I’m having second thoughts about everyone I’ve loved and everything I’ve felt,” Camila confessed as she gestured toward the now-scattered collection of notebooks almost forgotten against the sand. “I’m always preaching about love to my fans and how much it has inspired my music and who I claim myself to be. But what if I’m a fraud? Do I have it all wrong? If love is what inspires my music, but being in love is also what’s going to force me to take a break from music, then what am I really doing here?”

A single tear escaped from Camila’s left eye and out of instinct Lauren pulled their bodies together into a hug. Camila could feel herself calming down from the embrace, so she laid her head against Lauren’s shoulder and allowed the contact to continue despite their history and how it should make her wary of sharing physical affection.

“Did you write about me?” Lauren whispered against Camila’s head, although she knew from listening to all of her music that she unmistakeably had.

Camila pulled away from Lauren and bent over to retrieve a bright blue spiral with several doodles and scratches along the cover.

“Almost every day until there was no room left to cram anything else in here,” Camila explained while holding up what they would suspect to be the most condemning item proving there had once been more than friendship between the two of them while they were still band mates.

Lauren looked across the fire, toward the ocean, as she motioned for Camila to put the notebook back down beside them.

“I don’t need to read that to know that everything described in it was real, because I lived it, too. I felt it. All of it. I broke both of our hearts, because I thought it was necessary, and that’s one of the most naive things I’ve ever believed, apart from thinking that signing that goddamned contract after The X Factor without proper representation was a solid idea.”

In the midst of painful memories, Camila still managed to crack a smile at the cheap shot Lauren took at the paperwork that guaranteed the beginning of their careers. It had been a disaster, but it launched them all into a level of spotlight they needed in order to land where they were in present day, despite the hardships.

“I don’t blame you anymore. But you know me…when I close a door, I slam it. So that meant finding a way to forgive and forget even if the wound was still fresh at the time I decided to put it behind me. Now here I am out here preparing to burn all these memories I already put energy into mentally blocking.”

“You didn’t successfully conceal everything, Camz. 'I Have Questions’ wasn’t exactly subtle. I had to block so many accounts after you released that song.”

Camila nodded in understanding as she picked the notebook back up and flipped to the approximate page where she knew some of the original IHQ lyrics could be found.

“The version that got released was tame compared to how it all started.”

Lauren accepted the notebook this time and glanced over the page presented carefully.

She slowly read through one of the rough verses:

“How could you turn your back on me

Leave me helpless when I was already weak

I imagined pictures of our future

As I would lie awake in bed

But they blurred out of focus

as you eagerly erased our past”

“Why didn’t that make the final cut?”

“It alludes to romantic feelings, and the final version was spun so I could play it off like the relationship could have been platonic.”

“Kind of how I spun our relationship to seem platonic?”

“Pretty much exactly like that.”

Lauren continued to read the rest of the page, front and back, silently while Camila got lost in thought.

“I should have asked if you had any memories you wanted to bring and burn,” Camila said, breaking the silence casually.

“You’re not really going to burn this one, are you?”

Lauren looked conflicted at the thought of letting it go, although so far she had only read lyrics to the one song.

“I was going to burn the pages from that one first, actually.”

“Why?”

“You’re engaged. Not only is that door slammed shut, but it should be locked, bolted, and probably guarded by a three-headed dog on the other side,” Camila joked, although her tone didn’t convey that she really felt the humor.

“I was thinking though. If things don’t work out with Matthew, you could safely revisit some of your lyrics about heartbreak, and nobody but you and I would ever be any the wiser that someone else inspired them.”

“It almost sounds like you’d prefer if things didn’t work out with Matthew,” Camila accused with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s not true. The only relationship of yours I’ve ever tried to control was ours, and seeing how poorly I handled that one, I’d never try to interfere with others.”

“To be honest with you, one of the notebooks I brought here does have stuff inspired by him, and I was planning to burn it tonight, too.”

“Well then, the only proper way to handle a break up is with a ton of dessert!” Lauren remarked enthusiastically as she pulled s'mores ingredients out of the bag the Grey Goose had been in earlier.

“If I did get pregnant I could eat as many s'mores as I wanted and nobody would even bat an eyelash,” Camila pondered as she grabbed one of the marshmallow roasting sticks.

Lauren rolled her eyes as she pulled open the box of graham crackers and tore the plastic holding one set of the crackers apart.

“That doesn’t sound like break up talk to me. But leave it to you to consider food as the primary pro of being knocked up.”

“Ugh, I hate when people refer to pregnancy that way. It makes it sound like…scandalous? Or something. We’re adults. The process of growing and birthing a new life is beautiful. We should refer to it in a way that respects women who are becoming mothers.”

“Maybe we should have drank more. You are still way too articulate right now.”

“You used to be able to handle spending time with me sober,” Camila reminded Lauren as she crushed her first marshmallow and chocolate between two graham crackers in delight.

“I also remember that I had many other, effective ways of shutting you up, all of which are off limits now,” Lauren added with a smirk as she completed her own s'more and prepared to take her first bite.

“Watch it, Jauregui. That was suspiciously close to flirting.”

Camila moaned in satisfaction as she finished the last few bites of her s'more, before reaching for another marshmallow.

“Watch it, Cabello. Sounds like that are suspiciously close to teasing.”

Camila took her marshmallow stick away from the fire to jab it toward Lauren’s neck threateningly before returning it to the best part of the fire to get the desired marshmallow texture.

“That could have burned me, you know? And I bet the mark would look pretty similar to a hickey.”

“I guess we’d have to hook up then to not waste the accusations of cheating on false evidence.”

Lauren nearly choked on the piece of chocolate she had begun nibbling on as she waited for her next marshmallow to be melted.

“Camz, you can’t say shit like that. Fuck.”

Lauren unexpectedly picked up the Grey Goose bottle and took two big gulps, clearly seeking to become more intoxicated.

“You’re right. That crossed a line. Ty would definitely take me off the wedding invitation list if he knew I never got over you. If he even knew there was something to get over.”

“He knows. We asked each other about our longest, previous relationship and what we would have done differently to make it last. I started to talk about Lucy at first, but then I realized depending on where you start our time line, we were in love much longer. Just because we hesitated to define the relationship doesn’t mean it shouldn’t have counted.”

“I’m surprised you’re not more freaked out by me still having feelings for you. I’m also curious what your answer was.”

Lauren and Camila laid out beside each other on Camila’s blanket after each having consumed three s'mores, washed down with more vodka. They both felt lighter from the effects of the alcohol, and although it was cooling down quite a bit, they welcomed the breeze as they looked up at the stars.

“Neither of us received closure the way I ended it, Camz. That’s why our feelings aren’t resolved. Just because we’ve moved on and love other people now, too, doesn’t mean that we bumped our heads and forgot what it felt like to be in love with each other.”

“Wow, and Ty knows all this?”

Lauren rolled onto her side facing Camila and kept her head propped up with her elbow.

“Yes. What I told him I would have done differently about our relationship is one of two things. Either I would have come clean about it to everyone and tried to salvage it despite the pressure from management to tone it down, or I would have at the very least attempted to find closure once I knew you were leaving the band instead of shutting you out. Ty knows I’m with you tonight and he isn’t worried about it.”

Camila rolled onto her side opposite Lauren, bringing their bodies much closer to one another.

“He should worry,” Camila admitted as her eyes looked back and forth between Lauren’s eyes and Lauren’s lips.

“Why?”

“You know why,” Camila insisted as she leaned in close enough that Lauren could feel her breath on her cheek.

“Yeah, I know,” Lauren agreed softly as she closed the gap between them and let their lips meet for the first time in more than two years. It started out tentative, but Camila pressed back a little rougher to deepen the kiss and sighed soon after when Lauren pulled back slightly to disconnect their lips and look her in the eyes.

“You and Matthew are on a break for sure, right?”

Camila gave a quick nod in confirmation.

“So there’s no reason to feel guilty for what I’m about to do, right?” Lauren pressed one more time.

Camila reached out her hand to Lauren’s face and stroked her right check with her thumb as she pulled her back in closer. Camila proceeded to address Lauren softly.

“Tonight we’re burning memories. Nothing that happens on this beach will be carried into tomorrow unless we both agree. Don’t worry about whether this begins or ends a chapter for us. Just stay in the moment with me and see where it leads.”

Lauren showed no more hesitation as she closed the gap between them once again and they made a silent pact to let their hearts lead.

AN: I wrote my stress away until 4am and this is the product of that decision. After the longest writer’s block of my life I just needed something to come out. Thank you for reading. [I have also published this on Wattpad]. 

[v-le]

Thank You, Hoya.

As I type this, I am admittedly an ugly mess. I woke up from a nap this evening & I saw an article that came out a few minutes beforehand about Hoya’s contract renewal, saying that he did not go through with it. Groggily, I clicked on it, not thinking much.

I sat wide awake as I read the sentence once, twice, over and over and my mind couldn’t even properly process it. Leaving?? Actually leaving???

Let me back up, as in, a few months before all this unfolded. Infinite was supposed to come back in May, as announced in their third fan-meeting and everything.  Sunggyu was having health issues and the comeback naturally got pushed back. Their 7th Anniversary eventually came around, but I kinda felt like it was a quiet celebration. There were a few SNS posts, but no annual live broadcast, apparently due to issues with gathering all the members in one place. (When they said this, I thought to myself, ‘This is their SEVENTH anniversary, but they can’t even get together just for that???’ *sad but also equally confused face*). Their contracts came to an end, but there was no official word of their next steps for quite a while. In the middle, we got a little announcement that discussions were still going on and that they were all headed in a positive direction. Weeks trickled past. It was rumored that all re-signed except for one member, supposedly L, but that was just a false report. Three excruciating months later, it is revealed that everyone but Hoya renewed their contract with Woollim Ent. And then the next day, they announced his departure from the company, and the group completely.

I honestly did not see it coming. Throughout these three anxiety-filled months, I kept preparing myself for the worst, which was presumably an official disbandment. But never in the slightest could I imagine a falling apart. A break up?? The loss of a piece that makes them whole? Not hiatus, not disbandment, not separate ways, but the genuine departure of a member. An entire member. I just……….. of all groups to ever pull this off (and we all know that plenty of 2nd gen. groups have been through this, GG, Teen Top, Beast, 2NE1, Apink, Girls’ Day, etc.) INFINITE was one to follow this….. “trend”. This wretched trail of pain that way too many groups have crossed several times.

Before I go into how I feel overall, I just want to make it clear that of course, I will still support Infinite as 6 members, and Hoya in his personal endeavors unconditionally, no matter what. I’ve literally been following them for over 6 frking years now, how could I just abandon any of them like that? No, lol, I’m in way too deep, y’all. So yes, I will never ever ever everrrrrrrrrr bash or disrespect their decisions in any way. I will, of course, wholeheartedly accept this with open arms because that is what true fans do. And if anything, considering that this is what we’ve come to after THREE entire months, doesn’t that just further prove to us how hard this probably was for the members, and staff, and just everyone else collectively? Clearly, a lot of thought went into this. This wasn’t impulsive. This is for the better, and I will fully respect that.

HOWEVER, I am, after all, a fking diehard Inspirit and these boys have literally defined my years as I’ve matured into an adult. They’ve been with me through thick and thin, and as I like to say, my “part-time lifeline”. Even though I almost basically despise current kpop (I will say this several times, but 2nd gen. kpop is dead & gone and that’s something I will mourn for a while), Infinite has always been there. They are my Day 1′s, and as time went on, even when I got extremely busy w/ junior & senior year of high school, I still tried my best to keep up with them, support them, and just honestly, thank them. For being there. Because even as all these years passed before my eyes, they were still here, ALL 7 of them, still occasionally coming back with music for fans, still being Infinite. Just being Infinite. And I was (and still am) so eternally thankful for that. I watched groups lose members, go on hiatuses, or completely fall apart left and right, but Infinite promised us time and time again that they would be there no matter what. I can’t say this enough, but seriously, from the bottom of my heart, when I had time to just reflect on the years, I was just so so so so overwhelmingly thankful for them. 

And so 1 member leaving was just……. it broke me to pieces. I was utterly, completely devastated. Because it was simply a reality I never saw coming. One I never wanted to believe in. I wanted to keep believing that they would continue on as seven for as long their hearts could desire, just as they’ve been doing for all these years. That they’d surpass Shinhwa, and be the longest-lasting boy group to exist, unchanged since debut. That they are family, brothers for life, that they would never separate in such a way. Not to say that they aren’t family anymore. But that their bond of trust would transcend any notions of breaking apart.

But really. It’s okay. Nothing lasts forever, and I know that very well. All good things must come to an end. And that is what I’ve had the most trouble dealing with ever since I read that sentence. This is the end of an era for the boys. This marks a new journey where nothing will be the same as it was before, for better or for worse, who knows yet. But we all have to say goodbye to the Infinite that existed before today. And that’s what’s really hard for me. That’s what has got me looking like an ugly sobbing mess for a good 8 hours today LOL. Because it’s really hard for me to say farewell so suddenly. But the storm will pass, with time.

And with that, I want to once again, thank Infinite, thank Hoya, thank the world for letting these boys shine brightly for the past 7 years, and to hopefully continue to shine even brighter for years to come. Thank you so much Hoya, for being such a pillar (—holy fck hold up, I never thought I’d be typing these words and now im a mess again, great) within Infinite.

Thank you for being the iconic dancing machine within Infinite.

Thank you for not only rapping impressively, but singing stunningly as well.

Thank you for venturing into the acting scene & pulling off amazing characters like in Reply 1997, Mask, My Lovely Girl, Radiant Office, and more.

Thank you for being a complete bora-dori.

Thank you for constantly expressing your passion for hip hop (remember when he talked about when he was younger, he even wished he was black??? AHAHAH good times :’)), whether it was through Infinite H, self-composed raps/songs, or your personal Youtube channel.

Thank you for gifting us with your iconic bitch face. (This might honeslty be the biggest thing I miss LOL jk jk ily hoya adjakfjlkf i cant rn)

Thank you for being a dork/dick half the time and always roasting the members without shame.

Thank you for yes, ddabong to u too times 5805925 LOL

Thank you for developing from that awk, Busan boy into a resilient Seoul man HAHAHHA proud of u tho

Thank you for your brows because we all know they were ur focal point ;)

Thank you for also unleashing ur inner hoaegi sometimes

Thank you for sincerely being one of the most passionate members ever. I think I can safely say that no one put more energy and fervor into a performance than you did.

and just…

Thank you for being a part of Infinite for these past 7 years. At this very moment, I cannot imagine an Infinite without you. I will miss everything you have given us, and more than anything, thank you for working so hard.

호원아 고생했어 사랑해 ❤