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#i wish i wrote more than this
coconutbabydoll · 1 year
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ೀ- everytime (a.anderson)
pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader
warnings: idk ?? i don’t think there is any , please lmk if there is
summary: basically inspired by “everytime” by ari with a little changes, i recommend listening to this song before reading this if you haven’t already
a/n: first drabble or one shot!! i don’t really know what category it falls under, pleaseeeee be nice, i am working on my vocabulary and grammar also reblogs,like and comments are highly appreciated!!! enjoy :) also the ending is kinda rushed lol
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you’re done with her, you swore you were done with her. you’ve been saying this forever and surely you finally felt like you meant it. you’re on and off relationship with abby was like an rollercoaster, just when you guys have been really good there was another argument. you’re needy and stubborn and you only want abby to yourself and to spend time with you only. you know that she’s a busy women with her basketball team and she can’t always suffice to your needs. you tried to plan small things to hangout with her like movie dates. she always said she would try to make it but she never did, you partly understood, but this time was the straw that broke the camels back.
a week ago was you and abby’s two year anniversary. this meant a lot to you, you could barely contain your excitement. you planned a dinner date at fancy restaurant that you’ve been on the waitlist for months. but of course you and abby had to get into another argument the night before your anniversary, and it was bad. it’s not like you guys broke up that night but she did end up leaving your house when she was supposed to stay for a week.
you woke up the morning of your anniversary expecting missed calls from abby, apology texts, and an a happy anniversary text but nothing, which was weird because she always apologizes after an argument (even thought it never her fault). you relaxed for the rest of the day until it hit 7:00 o clock. you put on makeup, curled your hair, and but on a sexy black dress, grabbed your purse and headed out.
9:27pm and you were still seated at your table on your third glass of champagne and had already order two appetizer. you swiveled your head to door everytime you heard it open, nope wasn’t her. maybe your read into this all wrong, maybe she broke up with you without actually breaking up with you during your argument last night, i mean she was pissed. she called you controlling. she is a busy women, she mention something about basketball practice today, but she said she’ll be here, it wasn’t an “i’ll try to,” she said she will! what did you expect , she didn’t even wish you an happy anniversary.
“can i get the check please?” you mumbled sheepishly to the waiter as she passed you by. you were embarrassed, this was embarrassing. getting up from your seat you contemplated texting her, calling her, cussing her out maybe? asking her what was her fucking problem. whatever, she obviously doesn’t want too speak to you if she missed out fucking anniversary.
a week since the anniversary has passed and you’re obviously not over her, you never went this long without talking to abby. all of your breakups with her never lasted longer than three days, and she was the one who always wanted to get back together. when your with your friends you tried to not show a change in you demeanor, but you couldn’t help it. abby brought out the best in you, she made you cheerful, tender, and amiable, you became a better person all around. but maybe you brought out the worst in abby, maybe she finally had enough and decided that she was done with you.
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
it was like it was calling your name. the whole week was fulfilled with lonely nights, only acompanied with your second half full bottle of vodka. you leisurely walked over to your vanity desk and took big gulps finishing the rest of the bottle. familiar taste but it still burns.
*ringtone from your phone*
you walk over to your phone with the bottle of vodka it one hand. you squinted your eyes looking over the brightness of you screen.
*CRASH*
abby. what the fuck, why was she calling you? it’s been a week, did she miss you? maybe it was an accident, maybe she was calling to apologize, all these thoughts and your the sound of your ringtone ended. but then she texted you.
abby: come over, i miss you
you pondered whether you should reply or not, but your drunk self got the best you.
y/n: fucj you
abby: are you drunk ?
y/n: are you ???!?
abby: stay where you are , i’m coming to get you
y/n: you dpnt even hsve my location
abby: baby you still have your location on
you were drunk and you missed her but you didn’t want to give in that easy, so you left your phone in your apartment and started walking out the door. to where ? you don’t even know you just didn’t wanna see her.
you didn’t even make it two blocks until you abby’s car pulled up on you. “what are you doing? get in the car,” prompted abby as she slowed down the speed of the car so it could match the pace of your walking. “leave me alone!” you yelled words obviously slurred. “i’m sorry baby, i made a mistake.” you stopped walking - fuck, why is she like this, why does she make your stomach go all crazy with only five words? you hesitated but you got in the car. why does god keeping bringing you back to her, everytime?
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I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.
("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")
Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.
Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.
-
Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).
Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.
Now here's where things get interesting:
Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."
Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."
And the funniest thing about this is it worked.
Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.
I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.
Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.
I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.
Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.
Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.
Vegetta made sure of it.
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mae-i-scribble · 1 year
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tonight i was thinking about orv’s theme about how yjh as a character, and to a larger extent people, will in some ways always be unknowable. (orv spoilers following, read at your own risk)
i feel like i’ve seen a few posts on here that somewhat take this theme to an extreme, leaning *hard* into that “kdj doesn’t actually know yjh like at all” which while on the right track, i feel completely misses the point. Orv goes out of its way to showcase that kdj actually understands yjh to a scary degree, even once they’re out of the early scenarios and the gap between kdj’s knowledge and yjh’s personhood grows larger, there are still things about yjh that *only* kdj can fundamentally understand. And I don’t think that the novel does anything to discredit that understanding, only says that there is much more to yjh. In the same manner, even if you’ve known someone for years, spent all your time with them, there can and will always be new things for you to learn about them. The danger that orv speaks of is trusting in that assumption, that your understanding will be enough and you don’t have to keep an eye out for more developments. That the person you know will forever stay the same. And this isn’t a kdj problem either, fundamentally a lot of the big disagreements that happen between kdj and yjh in the latter half of the novel are born from both of them misconstruing what the other is thinking, trusting that their understanding of the other is deep enough to base their judgements off of. (Post first murim destruction, divorce arc, yjh thinking kdj scattered his soul on purpose, etc.)
As always with orv’s themes, we can view it in a meta sense as well. Kdj’s understanding of yjh as a character is so complete that it’s nearly flawless- until the story begins to deviate and a yjh grows outside the parameters that kdj’s judgements are based on. Even before then, there was always more to yjh- but as readers, we can only understand a character as much as we see them. What you come away with from a story is your complete understanding, there is no growth outside of those boundaries because then it wouldn’t be an understanding of *that* character, you would be putting your own ideas and such into it. But talk to another person, and suddenly the same character you understand so clearly becomes someone else. Talk to the author, and they say something completely different. And can one truly claim to understand a character when the story will never talk about them in every conceivable way? What does it take to truly understand such a thing? Learning that 1863rd round hsy wrote ways of survival with such limited resources and knowledge on who yjh even is, and yet despite it all, still manages to write a story that captures so much of his essence. As orv readers, we know it isn’t everything- it could never encapsulate all of yjh, but the idea that even when one knows nearly nothing, you can still put on a facade of understanding.
We can get into a chicken or the egg argument with this, as 1863!hsy dictates how yjh acts with her writing, and that yjh in the 1863rd round is the one she comes to know before ever starting this story, but when it comes to this theme of the unknowable in the people around us, I don’t think this sort of debate is worth much. We know that yjh exists outside the story written, and how much of him is determined by hsy’s writing is negligible because no matter what, he always grows beyond it. Whether as 1864 or secretive plotter, it all comes back to that same point of there is always more to see within a person.
I don’t know quite where I want to go with this, only that I wanted an outlet for some of these thoughts inside my head, but one of the best things about this theme for me is how it answers itself. When the people around you become unrecognizable, what should you do? And orv says to reach out. To try. To understand. Kdj loses access to omniscient reader several times but always, always gains it back in orv (as far as i remember), because at the end of the day, he is not someone who stays trapped in his idea of who he knows yjh to be. Yjh too, even at the end of orv, is trying to learn more and more about kdj. Only when you are willing to hear out the other person, to learn about them every day, does this unknowable aspect become something less daunting.
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httpiastri · 5 months
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biggest congrats on your birthday ollie, i have a feeling this year will be good to you <33
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IMAGINE. working at ur stupid uhhh job or whatever. pulling into your drive way and ready to work on some crazy project in your garage. opening the door to the most unfamiliar silence. did your wife and kid leave for something? could you imagine knocking on your kids door, hardly getting an answer, and opening it to find the splattered remains of your wife across his room your child is scared! hes hardly consolable, in a state of shock and terror. you are too, but youre the adult here. you need to take charge. you need to protect him. you need to do something. you need to do something.
#cw gore#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd spoilers#ashe winters#LOOOORRRD HELP ME THIS IS A YEAR OLD AND I HAAAATE LOOKIN AT IIITTTT ALL I CAN SEE ARE MY MISTAAAKESSS RRAAGHHHGGG ITS FINE THOUGH#ITS FIIIINE ITS ALL FIIIIIIINE!! IM HARSHER ON MY ART THAN ANYONE ELSE ITS FIIIIIINE IIITTSFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEE#ANWYAY SO I THINK ALOT ABOUT THE FACT HE KILLED HIS MOM. FUUUUCKED UP. POOR GUY.. i wish i could learn more about what that day was like#the lil scenario wrote is my own silly little headcanon. but what really happened on that day? was mark there? or did he come home to it?#how violent was it really? was ashe awake the whole time? does he remember exactly how he killed her? does he remember?#who was mrs winters? what was she like? i like to think she was the one that gave ashe the book. taught him what she could before. yknow.#did ashe or mark try to destroy it afterwards? i could imagine mark throwing it into a fire. only for it to reappear with ashe#maybe ashe couldnt destroy it but i could imagine him hiding it. hiding away from it. and yet when we find him he holds it so close#its the only thing he can do! no super powers or anything. this was it. why would he ever throw away the only thing hes good at?#AND GOOD GOD MARK... TURNING TO MERCENARY WORK OVER IT ALL... SELLING HIS SOUL TO A LAbortory that changed him in immense ways#when did it get bad enough for him to start covering his face? what was ashe thinking? he knew his dad was up to something but what?#maRK HAS SUUUCH A CRAZY KILL COUNT TOO. I THINK THE HIGHEST IN THE SERIES IF WE'RE NOT LOOKIN AT THE GODS OR WATEV#MASS MURDER. MAN HAS COMMITTED MASS MURDER AND BROKE OUT OF SUPER VILLAIN PRISON WITH A PEN. MAN BUILDS IRON MAN SUITS IN HIS BASEMENT#OKay okay enough of my ramblin okayokay i just REALLY LOVE THIS SSHHOOOOWWW DUUUDEE EEUUGHTHTHHRHGHGH I LOVE THE WINTERS FAMILY...
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sciderman · 10 months
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Were Peter and Harry properly a thing? Or was it more of a spur of the moment hook-up?
in 9319? it was just two sordid nights – and sweet, sweet lingering trauma...
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harry so nice, peter had to have it twice.
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jelzorz · 1 year
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lady justice and Vestal Virgins: religion on the human side of the border
Hoping to keep this relatively short BC I'm like 90% certain I'm the only one who cares
We don't get a lot about religion in the show, particularly on the human side? The most obvious reference we have to any known religion is the royal family being pretty heavily Jewish coded but whether that's Judaism in terms of religion or culture or both is unclear. How far it extends in-universe is something different, and the only religious figure we actually get is Lady Justice, but again, how far she extends into the religion of Katolis is to be seen.
Some things we (I) have had to assume include:
That Lady Justice is a religious figure
That she's supposed guide morality and decision making
That she is served by her clerics
That Opeli and her torchbearers are the Katolis equivalent of nuns
However there are some things in canon we have observed that we can make note of including:
The role of fire in their religious rites (specifically funeral rites)
That fallen kings are supposed to be mourned for 7 days before a funeral
That Opeli, as high cleric, is the one who performs these rites (coronation and cremation)
That there are (minimum) five clerics (Opeli + the four torchbearers at Harrow's funeral)
I lied this got long
This meta has no point except that I've been listening to a podcast called The Ancients and there was a whole episode dedicated to the Vestal Virgins and also worldbuilding is fun, but there are some real-world practises we can note here.
I mentioned above that the royal family is pretty heavily Jewish coded which is inclusive of the the tradition to mourn for seven sunsets after someone's death, but Judaism, generally speaking, doesn't have an equivalent for nuns. Women in Judiasm don't have particularly large roles outside of the family (I think??? I did do a pretty good google before I wrote this but I'm not Jewish, so please correct me if I'm wrong), so it's probably safe to say that the coding doesn't extend that much into Opeli et al in their religious roles, HOWEVER, I do want to bring your attention to another group of women who bear some similarities: allow me to introduce the Vestal Virgins.
Vesta (Greek equivalent Hestia, at least probably) is the Roman goddess of the hearth, home, and family in ancient Roman religion. She is a virgin goddess but rarely depicted in human form, and more often represented by the fire in her temple. Sources say that her worship predates the Roman Empire (Kingdom, even!), and her temple (before it was moved by Augustus) stood in the very heart of Rome, a literal hearth of the city. She was served by six virgin priestesses who tended to her fire and guarded her sacred hearth, whose attire is described on Wikipedia as:
a long linen palla over a white woolen stola, a rectangular female citizen's wrap, equivalent to the male citizen's semi-circular toga.[69] A Vestal's hair was bound into a white, priestly infula (head-covering or fillet) with red and white ribbons, usually tied together behind the head and hanging loosely over the shoulders.
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So, like. We don't actually know if Opeli and her girls made vows of celibacy, it's just something we assumed? But like, if she has, then yeah, it would track. The Vestals also held some political power: they were personnae sui iuris, or sovereign over themselves for one, which was a pretty exclusive right for Roman women, and they represented the State of Rome themselves, and so could give testimony in trials without swearing the customary oath to the State, pardon the condemned by touching them, and were the only women able/allowed to address the Senate directly.
So like. There's stuff there. Vestals were powerful, politically involved priestesses who performed religious rites for the State of Rome. We should note too that Opeli and her torchbearers are women. We've never seen a male cleric, so we can only assume that this role is exclusive to women, and if we run with the idea that they serve Lady Justice, a female religious figure, then this would track also. It's not uncommon for female deities to only be served by female clerics/priestesses/what have you. The role the Vestals had in the politics and justice, in trials, in addressing the senate, and in the pardoning of the condemned, feels pretty relevant to Lady Justice also.
I did also also briefly mention the role of fire in Katolis' religious rites, specifically their funerary rites. Once again, we've only ever seen this scene in regards to their other ceremonies, but something else to be noted is how the novelisation refers to the other clerics:
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So they're not just clerics, they're also torchbearers, which may or may not just be for the ceremony but they're referred to as torchbearers twice in this scene and not even once as clerics. We can probably assume that this isn't the only time they carry torches either, and that the flame represents something sacred to them.
A quick caveat: Fire being a sacred ceremonial thing is obviously not unique. Fire's been special to us as humans forever, because it's hard to make without the right tools, and if you stole it from like, a forest fire or some other existing source, then you would 100% treat that as something you had to keep burning a la sacred flames in many cultures—but it's the combination of priestesses and flames and red and white robes that make me wonder if there was inspiration taken from the Vestals.
Then there's the circlet. Very few people in TDP are ever seen with one. There are the rulers: King Atticus, King Harrow, and then King Ezran (Viren too, I guess, but he's a jerk); their consorts: just Queen Sarai to our knowledge so far; and then, for some reason, Opeli???
This has a couple of implications: the first is that she's on a separate ladder. Opeli demonstrably has a fair amount of power over the council and the Katolis army (see: 2x09). She can't overrule anything Ezran says (which is fair, as he is the King), but she seems to be the default substitute for the Kingdom of Katolis when he's unavailable. The second is that this is likely Katolis' way of separating the State from the Church and the Judiciary (which may or may not be the same thing in Katolis). If we refer, once again, to the Vestals, this also tracks: the Vestals performed the religious rites under the the Pontifex Maximus or supreme pontiff. The guys on the Senate were purely just the senate and left the religious stuff up to the guys (and girls) in charge of religion. Idk what the go is in Katolis, but it's pretty well implied from the way Opeli does the crowning of new monarchs that ceremonial things are her jobs, while ruling is the king's.
One last Vesta thing: Vesta (or Hestia) is the goddess of the hearth and home. When everyone else has gone, when everything has gone to shit, the hearth remains. She is, as Rick Riordan likes to call her, the Last Olympian. As long as Vesta's hearth is going, Rome still stands (which is why it's such a big deal when it goes out). And when our heroes are out on their adventures, who remains?
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Anyway, in case it wasn't clear, Opeli is my favourite adult and I Love Her, your Honour. This exists because I like history and meta-analysis, but also because world building is fun and people rarely worldbuild on the human side of the border. If you're wondering about other goddesses that could exist in Katolis, Rome had Iustita (Justice), who often appears in a pair with Prudentia (Virtue), Clementia (Mercy), Pax (Peace), and Ananke (Necessity), among many, many others. Happy world building! Hope you found this fun and interesting!!
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carefulfears · 1 year
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thinking about scully sitting on the floor of mulder’s apartment just holding him as he wept after his mother’s death and after she told him through tears that it’s time to stop. it’s time to stop looking for his sister.
and how she had already told him that once, seven years earlier, a month into their partnership, when she chased him out of a police station and told him to stop running after his sister because it won’t bring her back.
she called after him to just stop, because she’s the scientist, and that’s the logical conclusion that she had reached.
except later that night, he told her why he does it. that he’s been closing his eyes and walking into that room, thinking maybe, when he opens them, his sister will be there, since he was 12 years old. “every day” of his life.
and she never told him to stop again.
until seven years later, when she rocked him on the floor, and then the next day was asked “why do you want to bring all this back up now?” and answered, “someone owes it to mulder.”
so she started looking. she reopened files, she tracked down records, she went to his mother’s house to dig through the trash. she confronted CSM about what he knew, she flew to california, she held hands and prayed.
she looked at mulder and said “it hurts me to tell you this” and stayed steady in the truth anyway. she listened to him read to her about a 14-year-old girl’s pain, held his hand and told him to get some sleep. she stayed up, kept looking, and found it. “i got it, mulder. i couldn’t believe it when i saw it. it was like it was looking for me.”
the police report from when samantha ran away.
she read the hospital records, went to the home of the nurse who signed the intake report, asked him if he wanted her to go herself.
she left him by the car and walked up and knocked, asked about a patient in 1979. she listened as the nurse described how “you couldn’t forget her or how frightened she was. scared for her sweet life.” and the man who came for her, who wouldn’t put out his cigarette.
earlier the day before, she had been told to just stop. “word of advice, me to you: let it be. you know, there’s some wounds that are just too painful ever to be reopened.”
and she had responded, “this particular wound has never healed. and mulder deserves closure.”
after seven years, she knows now, that you can’t just stop chasing. she knows how heavy grief is, and she‘s seen the effects of carrying it alone. of walking into the worst night of your life every day, eyes closed, hopeful.
you can’t just stop, and you can’t really have closure, but you can help someone carry it.
and ultimately, that’s what made this the end of the road. sometimes the heaviest burden of grief is feeling that pain is all there is left of someone, and that alleviating it would be to abandon them.
scully’s right, this wound has never closed, but there’s freedom in shared remembrance and shared dedication. she doesn’t ask him to stop until he’s ready to know the truth, and she’s willing to find it. she doesn’t ask him to rest until it’s safe for him to, because it’s not forgetting samantha. she knows and she remembers.
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milkyspine · 14 days
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street-corner-felines · 3 months
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Zero Day (2002)
#movies film cinema#zero day#ben coccio#I actually talked to the director on Facebook super nice guy and he told#me a lot about the filmmaking process and even helped me with tips on directing non-actors and new actors#I remember him telling me to always be supportive and tell your new actors they're doing a good job even if they aren't in the first take#cause you can instill confidence and still reshape and change their choices and mistakes later#Sometimes I'd message him for advice when I was running into problems on some of my early projects#he told me once ''did ya choose to collaborate with this actor cause you were lonely or you guys had passion and chemistry''#“collaborating is like a relationship” and he was so right#there's nothing worse than working with people you disdain cause there's no communication and no trust.#he told me how he wrote the first couple of drafts of Place Beyond the Pines but his take on the 3rd act wasn't clicking for the director#so he took the script and went and had another writer rewrite the 3rd act but he liked the process cause he learned a lot and still got pai#but I'd still like to see Ben Coccio's take on Place Beyond The Pines he says the 1st and 2nd act are mostly unchanged#Ryan Gosling's scenes are still mostly the same he said but he couldn't tell me too much cause of the NDA he signed#The bloopers of Zero Day are hilarious his tip he gave me about being supportive#“This is actually great but can we-” and Cal interrupts him “He says that no matter what if you're doing good or bad!” and everyone lols#I hope I can make it and ask him to collab with me on a script#He's such a nice dude compared to the harrowing film he made.#I wish there was BTS but he had only one tape to film on and this was made when digital camcorders were infants#I think he had only one 2 hour tape that's how low budget#The bloopers is just Cal or Andre secretly filming and Ben getting annoyed “Is it recording?” and Cal going “Nah..."#Cal is such a funny guy IRL I wanna see him act more cause he's so good. He was so great at playing a sadistic psychopath in this.#the final shooting is so harrowing and disturbing#I told Ben he srsly gut punched me/disturbed me and this is what made him really open up.
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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months
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More matador!Fernando! Ferrari this time :D (I can't help myself.....)
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- facial hair
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+ closeups
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I really wanted the vibe of this Nando pic, I think I did pretty well??
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#GUYS THE BULL DO YOU NOTICE WHAT BULL DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE SUBTEXT DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY IMPLICATION#lmao tho i mostly put it there cause i saw this rly cool pic w the shadow of a bull on a matador's cape#i dont understand how i ended up making this one more intensive and detailed than the other#but im not mad cause i really like it aaahhhhhh#but i think this one took more than 6 hours and the other one was 5½?#and both i ended up working until an absolutely horrible time. dont ask me what time i wrote this post#okay btw i didnt draw that embroidery. thank you medibang pattern brush now beloved 🙏#i think it suits him!!!! i was thinking of doing stars anyways so I'm glad it worked out#two people id like to blame:#thank you 005 for accidentally reminding me of the sword!! im glad his other hand is not just idle :)#and thank you suzuki-ecstar for asking me at some point if id ever draw facial hair on nando#^ particularly the 3 Musketeers look. so thanks. i suddenly remembered and i had to draw it 😭#it kept shocking me how baby faced i drew him every time i took that layer off#also every time i worked on the suit red genuinely ceased being an actual color to me#its bright red right?? like very fluorescent?? but my brain kept going: is this too orange?? this isnt red right????#anyways happy with this!!!!! there were a lot more roadblocks than the other but it all worked out#but wow wish i had this level of diligence for yknow. schoolwork.#i can spend 6+ hours on a drawing straight but school? nah i give up every 20 mins or less fjfkkfl#also not abandoning my other aus or anything but i have a lot more ideas for this honestly#i think the ref pics are a lot easier and more interesting to find than for my other AUs#<- cause its so much more modern lmao. so i have a lot more inspo than trying to find ultra specific 18th century paintings#i wanna draw 3 things rn:#nando w the ceremonial cape. seb in a matador suit. and of course some silly vett//onso in this AU#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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sh1-n0bu · 2 months
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so apparently, simply watching anime and saying that some korean actors and actresses look alike makes you a racist according to a kdrama/kpop stan on tiktok
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caker-baker · 2 years
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Sign
They didn’t actually need to look to see who it was, nor did they need to move from their leaned position against the railing. “Do me a favor and fuck off for a minute.”
“Now, now, Hero. That’s no way to treat an honored guest.”
“Fuck you. We both know that identity isn’t yours.” The hero ran a hand over their tired face. “I don’t care, whatever angle you have tonight, but if you kill someone–”
“That would be a spectacle. You should have already guessed that tonight is about espionage, considering the stolen identity and all.” The villain rested their hands on the railing next to the hero, but did not fully relax.
“Fantastic.” The hero’s voice fell flat. “Go back inside, then.”
Despite themself, the villain’s eyes wandered over the hero’s slouched form.
Even in their current crumpled and defeated mannerism, the hero was a sight to behold.
Nothing but the finest of clothes these days, a hair and makeup team had undoubtedly fussed over the hero for hours to get the current superstar affect, and of course, those fine clothes highlighted those hard earned muscles, but funnily enough, the scars seemed to have been hidden.
“You look miserable.”
The hero took a sharp breath in. “You don’t get to say that.”
“I told you what it would be if you signed, if you gave yourself to the government, say the word and I’ll fix it.”
The villain nearly jumped when the hero’s head swiveled towards them, expression close to feral.
“Fix what?” They spat. “I never have to worry about another bill in my life, medicine, housing, food, they do it all, Villain.” The hero turned away. “And all I have to do is dress up sometimes? Pose for a picture so they can put my face on a lunchbox?”
“You’re a product, Hero. They wave you around to show off their new attack dog.”
“I am not–!” They slammed their fist on the railing. It cracked, startling the hero, who stumbled back a few steps.
The villain reached out a hand, only to retract it when the hero pulled away.
“Whatever. It’s an equal exchange.”
The villain’s typically wide and watchful eyes softened. “Why didn’t you take my offer?”
Huffing, the hero turned, straightening out their form as they prepared to go back inside. “Go to hell.”
The villain reached out, gripping the hero’s arm, determined not to let them pull away this time.
“You used to be happy! You used to take pride in doing good!”
“I also used to be hungry and on the verge of homelessness. Let go.”
“I would have helped you. Why didn’t you let me help you?”
The hero ripped away their arm, turning and coming face to face with the villain, a mere inch apart.
“You don’t know what it’s like to owe someone.” The hero stepped forward, the villain stepped back. “All of you rich assholes are the same. If you had helped me, me, your enemy, it would have meant something else entirely. I can’t do that.”
Another step, another, and another.
“I never would have held it above you, Hero.” The villain had to keep walking backwards until they bumped into the railing. “I’m not like that–”
“You are! You’re an awful person. Do you think that I believe you’d make an exception for me? And why? Just because you enjoy villainy? Because you find all this entertaining?”
The hero’s eyes watered. “For them, I take pictures, I sign autographs, I wear the brand sponsored clothes and go to stupid galas, and yeah, sometimes I’m just there to look scary, but you know what I’m not doing? Giving myself away in a sense that I could never regain. What would it be for you?”
The villain opened their mouth, and closed it again.
What would it be for them? They didn’t like to stop and think about these unspoken feelings, the feelings that drove them in an unfamiliar and warm way, feelings that made them go on espionage missions that weren’t actually important.
What were they hoping to gain by helping the hero? Praise? Gratitude? Admiration?
Love?
As if reading the villain’s mind, the hero spoke.
“What would it be for you? Because for all the money in the world, you can’t buy that.” The hero scoffed, backing away. “You know, they really try to play up the strong but dumb image, makes it easier for sponsors to buy into, but I’m not an idiot.”
“Of course you’re not.”
Suddenly, the hero’s eyes turned upwards, looking, looking, looking.
“Doesn’t look like there’s any cameras up here.” The hero’s shoulders dropped a little. “If someone found out I damaged the railing, they’d probably…”
The villain raised an eyebrow. “They’d probably…?”
“It doesn’t matter.” They held their chin high. “I’m going inside. Have your fun tonight, but any deaths and I will fly your sorry ass straight into the sun.”
“Naturally.” The villain smiled gently, although they were positive that if the hero could somehow survive in space, they would, in fact, fly the villain’s sorry ass into the sun.
But the hero didn’t respond, didn’t give any notice to the villain’s existence as they slipped through the door, a full photo-op ready picture of grace.
The villain let out a shuttering breath once the door closed again, heart hammering in their chest.
No, no, no time for that. The villain couldn’t let this new feeling distract them, there were things to be done, olive branches to be offered, and signatures to be burned.
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🦈2
#even tho it was so hard for me. ofc when u can only communicate via the internet so much is lost i think... sm extra things u need to be#more secure kinda? like physical presence does a lot on its own#but yeah.. ok i actually wrote more but u can only have 30tags per post and safari on ur phone does not tell u when it's stopping so half o#what i wrote just disappeared ._. i cant rmbr what i said... and i mean this is just for myself to vent but grr im so annoyed#yeah just that he was sm more patient than i realized. i just was in the start of learning how to live w my avpd#i wasnt able to do a lot. even if i wanted to. he helped me sm to uncover things in myself to start that thing within me#i just desperately wish i had found him earlier and that i've been this far along in my anti avpd limitation abilities.... truly wish that#so im trying to accept it and just think bc i dont have a choice :') i've never wanted anyone like this and that just is how it is#i will always love him simply bc he is who he is#he's so so cool and amazing to me in so so many ways. and i always loved just how he talks and communicates bc it resonates w me#and there are simply sm details i just adore. but yeah... i probably shouldnt think abt that? i feel like.. it isnt my place to think abt i#but it is what it is but it hurts so incredibly much. will i ever be able to let go of him? the love i couldve experienced? the wonderful#person i couldve been with? will i be able to stop thinking abt all his great qualities and how much i wish he was mine? and all the things#wanna do and talk abt with him? he's just.. he just is .. i cant describe it. it feels like more than just earthly love...#maybe i sound insane or too intense or dramatic or smth but.. it feels so much larger than everything#so i struggle sm with letting go bc i want to touch him and i want to love him and i just want to be with him and experience everything w h#but that isnt my place. i know... why.. have i only ever felt like this w him... what do i do with this?? am i crazy? am i going insane? is#there smth wrong with me?#he is worthy of everything and he is so so wonderful but is there smth wrong w me for being so..#for having love that actually truly is all consuming? what is this... it's scary. esp when i cant unleash it. it's like a wild beast i have#to learn how to tame. and i want to be able to find mutual love too. but i cant force anything. will the universe grant me that?#i cant imagine myself ever being able of letting go of him but if that is what the universe has planned then..#ok im actually starting to sound intense and weird and idk O.O i think i think too much#.. it hurts that i wont get to do all of the things and talk abt all the things i wanna do w him. i'll never get to hug him...#if i could ask for only one thing it'd be one hug from him....#maybe is ound crazy but with all my disorders and feeling disconnected from the world.. and finding someone that makes me feel tethered#and safe and real.. and having to let go bc it just wasnt meant for me... why is the universe so cruel.#in the end i care abt him so much i just want him to be loved. i want him to finally feel loved.#someone else.. someone else without avpd can do that for him. i want him to be oh so so loved and .. yeah.. :(#i wish i couldve loved him as he deserves but .. its not my place. not my place... all i want is to hear his voice and live in his arms
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novantinuum · 11 months
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self care is unfollowing people who spread negativity on ur dash!! like Damn! yeah i theoretically Agree with your crit but i really Don't wanna see it either bc i want to Celebrate content instead of hyperfixating on the stuff i didn't like about it! yeet!!!
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I didn't base Wish off of it being 100 years of Disney and I still felt let down. Just as a movie it was, in my opinon, a badly written movie. It just never gives you enough investment in any of the characters to make me care about the plot. And it doesn't have to be complicated. Moana for example, has a very simple plot. It still spends time with Moana and using that time wisely, to get me to care about her and her relationship with her parents and her island. Wish, just fell to a mid point and it's okay. Sometimes a lot of people can hate something bc it is in fact, just a poorly written movie. Not everything is an "underappreciated" movie.
Well good for you
You know I was going to leave it at that but I'm not strong enough. Because sorry but what exactly do you expect me to do now...?
You yourself said that it just fell to mid point, I agree, it's not a masterpiece even if I personally really enjoyed it. But despite that I don't agree with the opinions that it's the worst Disney movie to date, an absolute disaster, unsalvageable or any other of the extreme opinions I've seen online. Obviously I don't mean you here, since I don't know you or your opinions on the movie and frankly I'm not going to assume anything about some anon. But I just want to point out the amount of, I don't know, fics where people outright admit to not having even watched the movie but feeling cheated/robbed/betrayed whatever and deciding that they can do a better job based on the cancelled concept art.
I don't even want it to be more appreciated, but the worst it deserves is to just pass silently like, frankly most of Disney's movies this year, because, and I can't stress it enough, it's not as bad as people are making it out to be. That's the stance I'm going to defend. I'm not saying you have to like it but I'm saying that the reaction is majorly undeserved and unfair. Most of this hate should go towards the executives and advertisement people, who created false and too high expectations and didn't allow the movie to stand on its own
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