#i wish this motivation would also actually make me be more consistent but it doesn't always work

[as-rare-as-trees]

My fatal flaw is that if my friends jumped off a bridge I'd do it too

[cuddlemetillidie]

Ghost NSFW alphabet

Here's a Self-indulgent thing I wrote 'cause this man has me in a chokehold I wish he actually had me in one

Also, I tried my best to make this as GN as possible, if I made a mistake, pls let me know.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

This post contains sexually explicit content. If you are a Minor please respect this rule and scroll past and DO NOT ENGAGE WITH NSFW POSTS. NSFW under the cut

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) I feel like he would fall asleep pretty quickly after sex. I hc that he has some form of Insomnia so I think after he's done with everything, he would bring his s/o water or anything else they wanted but would prefer to fall asleep before cleanup.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) For his own body part: His hands + arms. I think he likes how they make him visibly look strong and intimidating, scaring people off which he'd love and his hands for a similar reason. Plus his hands can also be………… utilized in great ways As for his partner: Probably their waist. I think he's the kind of guy to have a hand around their partner's waist 24/7. Doesn't matter which size, he would just love to hold his s/o close to him in every situation and its also a nice way to show affection

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Amount; probably a lot. I think it depends on where he's coming though, like on your belly; a pretty good amount but inside? probably will empty enough baby maker for the next ten generations as for consistency; I think it is a little thicker than watery but pretty in the middle and Taste (my fav part); a bit sweet but with a salty aftertaste, I think (I just think the taste is so hot idk why)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Brat taming. Not him doing the taming but the one being tamed if you catch my drift. wink wink.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Most likely as experienced as a teenager, so barely. He didn't have enough time after his teen years and didn't really make any real effort to go out and meet someone

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Mating Press: His partner's legs in the air while absolutely annihilating their hole and they become a moaning mess under him would turn him on immensely Back-shots possibly???? anyone with me on this?

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.) He's extremely serious. He might unintentionally do something but for the most part, very serious.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Pretty well groomed. He takes good care of his hair, not that there's much. He's blond I'm pretty sure and also white, yeah I don't think he has much hair. BUT, I think he has pubic hair that he keeps trimmed whenever he has the time. Otherwise I think he's pretty hairless in terms of body hair, I'd say he's almost hairless

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Very intimate, he sees sex as an intimate act with his partner. That being said tho, he will like it rough if he's in the right mood for it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) I don't think he masturbates when he can be with his s/o. Like if you are in the army with him and are on deployment at the same time then he wouldn't jack off really. But, if his s/o aren't with him on deployment or even the military, then he would jack off when in the mood.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Size kink Breeding kink some light bondage maybe maybe begging to and I also think he'd be into sub/dom dynamics (dk if that's a kink tho)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Probably in the comfort of his own bedroom. He prefers the darkness and familiarity of it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Any form of intimacy would get him hot and bothered. The man seems very touch starved to me, so if his s/o for examples puts their hand on his inner thigh etc he would get a boner pretty quickly

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Something that would cause any pain to him or his s/o in any capacity. He deals with enough pain and suffering in his job, rather not have it in his love life

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Probably more of a receiver, idk maybe it's his mask but I cannot Imagine him giving most of the time. He'd do it if you'd beg ask tho

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Think snice slow and sensual in the beginning but towards the middle and end, would probably become rougher and would quicken his pace

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Prefers to have sex but, if there isn't time for that, why not?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) Not much of a risk taker, again, he deals with a lot of that at work and would rather not bring it into his sex life.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) I think three, maybe four on some days. He's got good stamina but isn't y'know… Hercules

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Doesn't own toys himself but is open to trying some with his partner

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) I think he'd tease a fair bit, but not too much. Think will enjoy it more if his s/o is easily frustrated and begs for him to do something or stop the teasing

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Pretty quiet. Will let out a lot of groans and a few moans here and there

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) I think he'd like to get his ass eaten more than getting a blowjob. Like his s/o's wet tongue rimming him while stretching his hole and muscly ass while his bent over a couch will drive him crazy

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Think a nice 7 in are hiding in those pants. He's British so maybe uncut? and also pretty thick

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) I think he doesn't have that high of a sex drive bet when he does wanna have sex? He will be a beast in every way

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) I hc that he as some form of Insomnia and sex while relax him, so he'll fall asleep pretty quickly. Especially if he has his partner in his arms

──────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────────────

Hi again, I've got a week 'till college starts and Monsoons are happening which is making me horny. Idk why but rain makes me so horny. ANYWAYS. How was your day, mine was fucking tiring. Also, has anyone reading this ever played the game Rain World? That is literally THE most PERFECT game I've played. It's incredible. If you like open-world games, then definitely check it out anyway, I hope you enjoyed this... have a lovely day, and may you see Ghost from CoD in your dreams (Ik I want to)

[donnerpartyofone]

I saw this post a few weeks ago that was like a chart from a psychology text that described how different sorts of childhood trauma can produce different dysfunctions, one of which was (I *think*) Emotional Neglect -> Magical Thinking. I was so intrigued by that. Magical thinking is sort of an umbrella term for the belief in a causal relationship between two unrelated factors; it can include wishing on a birthday cake candle; the feeling that The Universe is telling you to call your ex because something reminded you of them; OCD-type rituals that you believe will ward off misfortune; the deeper meanings mis-assigned to mundane events that can be produced by schizo-affective disorders; and also religious convictions to some degree, although those are rarely considered a clinical problem as with anything that helps or doesn't seem to hurt the participants. There seem to be as many potential causes of magical thinking as there are forms of the thought pattern itself, and trauma is an interesting one.

It might be better to think of "trauma" as "helplessness" here. Magical thinking can help impose a feeling of organization where there is chaos and loss of any sense of significance. There was a lot of magical thinking going around in the gritty, depressed town where I'm from, and I often thought it was because of the persistent economic pressure. It's relatively normal for kids to be susceptible to spooky ideas, but many of the adults were also full of ghost stories and superstitions. I have one very sensible friend who is smarter than I am, who grew up there too, and we often reflect on this, which helps me know that this isn't strictly an idea I have due to my own social choices. My friend doesn't live in that town anymore either, but she's always digging up interesting stuff related to it, and one day she showed me the website of someone there offering his services as a paranormal investigator. He was in his 20s, and the site included a lot of unconvincing photos and a long, vigorous testimonial by the guy's mom. Part of me was dying to put it on tumblr, but it would only have resulted in unnecessary cruelty. I was as much a victim of magical thinking as anybody, and I think even when I was pretty young I was aware of what motivated me to be so naive and gullible: that a world full of ghosts and vampires and UFOs and such was preferable to what I normally experienced, which was a consistent sense of boredom and meaninglessness and drudgery and embarrassment and pain and suffocation in an ugly, flavorless universe whose nicer side was not going to be available to me. I had a lot of really damaging friendships with manipulative assholes and pathological liars because I was so very willing to believe the crazy things they told me, just in case any of them were true, because such a truth could change my whole life.

Sometimes I think it's amazing that I never wound up in a cult, although I guess those relationships were sort of like little one- or two-person cults. Once in a while I read about some crime involving young people who think they're vampires or something, and I have a deep feeling of pity, because I think I know what they were going through (except for the part where they think they can do whatever they want to other people). The sad story of Shanda Sharer involves a whole group of badly abused and underprivileged teens, some of whom thought they were witches or vampires, and it just makes so much sense to me that they would be overtaken by these fantasies of secret meaning and power. Recently I watched Bad Vegan on Netflix, something that I avoided at first because I thought it was just about rich douchebags humiliating each other--which is like, what else is new--and to some degree it is, but actually it's way more disturbing than that. Ambitious young raw food entrepreneur Sarma Melngailis was manipulated, isolated, and ultimately kidnapped by this sadistic freak who preyed first on her loneliness and financial fears by pretending to be a rich suitor who could solve all of her problems; then he preyed upon her feelings of personal insignificance and failure by convincing her that he and she had been selected by a cabal of extraterrestrial illuminati who would make them immortal. Sarma seemed completely broken down to me, and I was amazed by her courage in describing the scam she fell for, that she must have known would invite derision. Part of the documentary explores her youth as a kid who always believed she could become something special, and then mundane tragedies like her parents' divorce brought her back down to earth in a painful way, and it seemed like she spent the rest of her life haunted by the idea that she might just be an ordinary failure of a person. I think that's part of what made her so vulnerable to this psychopath, that he was able to access her secret dream of having a special destiny. I got one of my friends to watch the show and she was very frustrated by it because she just couldn't figure out what Sarma's problem was that would cause her to ever believe the things she was told. I tried to reiterate what I've said here, but it didn't seem to mean anything. Ironically this friend is a practicing witch with formal beliefs in the supernatural, including that people can awaken special powers within themselves, but I guess one man's magical thinking is just um not another man's magical thinking.

I still have a lot of magical thinking going, but it doesn't have the same character it once did. I tend to think of it more as "symbolic thinking"; I have a hard time accessing senses of meaning and hope, let alone any kind of self-belief, and sometimes symbolic gestures and concepts can provide that access better than my own direct, practical attempts ever could. It helps that I have a basic agnosticism about the invisible structures of the world, like it's easy for me to believe that there is more to life than what comes in through the five senses, even if I don't pretend to know entirely what that "more" is. That may help me believe that "anything is possible" and I shouldn't give up, even if I direly want to and I know I'm being kind of irrational. Magical thinking can be a double-edged sword, but maybe it's better than nothing.

[a-goumang-ripoff]

Confusion, Uncertainty, and Bafflement: A Rant About Goumang

So I've decided to move on to my next rant and thought that I might as well get my namesake out of the way. Funny enough, Goumang is only my favorite sol because she is such a weird character to think about, none of the sols can get my voice nearly as loud in a rant as Goumang does. She confuses me to no end, and I think that confusion is the most interesting part of the entire game for me to think about. Also, her design is so fucking cool, I love Nine Sols' character designs so much but to literally make this cat person into a harpy via genetic modification and prosthetics is such a badass idea, I wish I thought of it myself tbh.

So, to start off this rant: Goumang's position within Nine Sols. She is intended to be the second boss you face in the game, though can be the third (which I heavily recommend, I hate that fight without air dash) and I believe can be the first boss, but I am unsure about that. She is an early-game threat which we learn quite a lot about in her area, and the game holds back nothing by this point giving her what I would argue to be the most disturbing and gruesome end in the entire game, which almost none of the other sols can compare to. I do believe her status as Eigong's other student was stated in her area, but it was something that was lost on me as I wasn't sure what the game meant, I assumed she was one of several and they just happened to be at odds. However there are little features around the game which really paints her to be Yi's rival.

Beyond being Eigong's other student, she also has a passionate hatred for Yi which is far more intense than any hatred the other sols have with one another, and Yi clearly shares this hatred with how he decides to end her, though he keeps himself level-headed in her presence otherwise it seems. She talks to us about the plan she had if she was chosen over Yi, the way she acts in the holograms at the end of the game is painfully antagonistic, and even that picture Eigong has by her eternal sanctum of the two of them together. It weirdly feels like the game is trying to build her up as Yi's rival, but we know Eigong is the true rival fight in the game, not to mention Goumang is dispatched within the first half of the game. I have to ask why the game pushes this so hard. I understand she is realistically physically weak and lacks combat prowess; as Jiequan says, she's just a farmer. But I think I would have preferred her place in the game to get moved up and to treat her more like Yi's rival. It doesn't feel unrealistic for her to learn the same martial arts Yi did at Eigong's recommendation; if anything, it makes more sense for Goumang to take up the idea granted her past.

Another thing which confuses me about Goumang is the mismatch between her backstory and her behavior in-game. Her backstory consists of her growing up seemingly poor in a place that is already in constant famine, then being implied to pull herself up by her bootstraps and become one of the most skilled biologists in Penglai. Her motivations are shown clear to us: she wants to end world hunger on Penglai and had the means to do it with New Kunlun's aid. The servants she has she shows to have actual compassion for (though the way she views them is very much as lesser beings which is not great) and, in the Nine Sols prequel comic, she is shown to be quite a kind person, giving a little girl food and a ride for a mistake that is hardly even hers. And yet everything we see beyond her memories shows her to not only be a jealous bitch who thinks herself better than everyone and seems to pamper herself at any opportunity, but also hold fascist/fascism-adjacent ideologies.

"Optoberries, apemen, even our fellow solarians... they all need greenhouses and incubators. Sacrificing a little freedom and yielding to your superiors is the path to a perfect society[...] The truth is, the weak fear the truth and cannot make choices for themselves."

I know that having a shitty past doesn't automatically make you not become a shitty person, but to hammer in the idea that she had an awful childhood filled with suffering and holds a variety of selfless aspects of her character only to make her act childish and needlessly bitchy just doesn't feel right, it feels like there's really something that we aren't being told. I would be happy to shrug it off as potentially seeing Yi as someone who doesn't deserve the position he got because he had much kinder beginnings than her, but between her childish behavior before the game's confrontation and the fact that she doesn't bring that up in her monologue (instead simply mentioning that she wanted to be chosen over Yi, making it jealousy rather than simple hatred) makes it just feel weird.

On a lighter point, it feels quite a bit odd that she is The Sex Character in the game, especially with how heavy they lean into that. Everything about her just feels sexual. I mean, firstly, she is the only solarian I've seen to wear literally no pants, and her legs tend to be blocking her crotch in a weirdly intentional way. Like, it'd be one thing to do that but have her not have anything between her legs, but it makes it way weirder that her crotch is being constantly blocked, it feels like it's trying to imply her pussy is just out there at all times (and no one cares, which makes it funnier). The two times you can actually see her crotch, there is shading which makes it way too harder to discern anything (yes, I looked, this was a traumatizing realization and I needed to confirm it fully). She also is clearly dominant in both an almost hierarchical sense and a sexual sense, you can literally make Yi call her out saying "you just dominate people for pleasure," and she won't even deny the pleasure part, just corrects Yi on the fact that she's "protecting" instead of dominating. How much more on the nose can you get?

Also, I'm not sure if this is just me or not but doesn't her 'death' scene have a really odd vibe about it? The fact that it's a mind control collar is bad enough, but the way Yi tilts her head up and the gasp from her that plays all makes it even weirder.

The echoes of "mama" from her servants make it only worse. Normally I'd think it's a funny coincidence that ignores sexual contexts around the word, but that quote about dominating people for pleasure makes it feel intentional. The whole thing just feels like a Guro scene and it really twisted my stomach when that got combined with my own issues over leg injuries (I can't believe there's TWO leg injury scenes in the game, not a fun time for me).

Though the weirdest part for me is that I feel like there's a much more prominent candidate for being The Sex Character, that being Nuwa. The drug club she runs genuinely feels a step away from being a sex palace, especially with all the pink imagery (and those dancers). The instrument she plays looks genuinely phallic and the way it's played, with her mouth against the tip, doesn't help. Yet I feel like they leaned away from it quite a bit compared to Goumang. Though, I suppose the incest stuff that surrounds Nuwa and Fuxi may have pushed them away from doing that. Lady Ethereal even seems to have a bit of that stuff going for her... okay I'm starting to realize most of the prominent women in this game have sexual stuff related to them.

Moving on from that startling realization, the last thing I want to talk about is some of the reasoning I've gathered on why a lot of these choices may have been made and how I think Goumang could be improved as a character. One of the major reasons why I think there's such a mismatch in backstory and personality is that I believe they started to write her character and backstory, but then determined how they wanted to use her afterwards. Her fascist ideas and the literal slaves she owns makes her especially gruesome death feel like a jab towards fascist governments and more than likely directed towards the Chinese government (see my previous rant for more context on this). Another reason that mismatch might be present, potentially in combination with the previous one, is that RedCandleGames may have realized that she was being made too good of a person to be one of the sols that are killed, so a sudden shift occurred to make her seem just as crazy and evil as the rest of the sols are.

As for her odd implications of being Yi's rival? My main theory is that it was unintentional, obviously Yi's mentor should be his actual rival, Goumang may have just been placed as her other student to give more reason for her gruesome death or as another way to put her in a more evil position, and then an unintentional rival dynamic was built from that. It also possible she may have just be intended to be a rival fight or have more presence than she does (though, the sols seem to all have a pretty equivalent presence overall). But this is just speculation pretty much.

I think there's quite a few ways to improve her character. For one, I think she could be leaned over towards a less evil standing. I feel as though Yi could have started the game off a lot more evil than he did, it feels like a major portion of his character growth occurs with his time in peach blossom village before the game starts, we don't really get to see him go from hating humans to wanting to protect them, it's an implied shift. I'll likely touch more in depth on this when I rant about Yi, but if he were to be placed in a more evil position, he would have better reason for deciding Goumang is worth killing if she is put in a better standing. Alternatively, go a little more in depth on her backstory, it feels like it's only one step away from being fully believable, if they showed us something which actively made her change ideologies or gain new ones that orient her where she is in the game, I wouldn't feel that mismatch would be as strong as it is.

Overall, I find Goumang's writing to be quite shallow, her personality in-game doesn't feel like anything unique, it feels like a character I've seen several times in the media I've consumed (ignoring the whole fascist thing). If her backstory and personality weren't so mismatched, I believe her writing would have a lot more depth to it and I would feel much less confused about her. I also feel as though she could have been utilized very well as a rival to Yi, though that is a much farther-reaching concept than the changes I've suggested for her writing.

I'll be honest I didn't think I'd talk for 3 paragraphs purely about sex, I was intending to leave it at one but it's just so weird to me that she's used that way. Not that I'm complaining, check my blog's title. More than likely I'll post a follow-up rant on this one which is more about a lot of my less serious thoughts on her, ideas I have of remaking her character and such, just fanon/headcanon bullshit.

[lucky-bishop]

Now I'm curious what you would say about Peter's position in the narrative? (and I'm totally on board with what you said about Derek btw.)

I mean, yes he was kind of the tragic villain in S1 but especially later?

Okay, strap in, because I have a lot of feelings about Peter Hale and it's gonna take me a while to talk through all of them. Thank you for this question though! 💖

I believe that Peter is a tragic villain in S1 and S2, a reluctant ally for S3 and part of 4, a straight up villain/antagonist late in S4, absent in S5, and back to a reluctant ally for S6. I'm just putting this up here to refer to because Peter does not have a single role in the narrative that is consistent throughout the series (he's a slippery little shit like that).

So let's start at the beginning: S1. Peter is pretty clearly the villain in S1 and S2. S1 - there's a little more sympathy for him (not expressed in the show, but from an outside perspective). He was the victim of a horrific crime, and then abandoned to die by his remaining family. He is not sane. If that happened to anyone, I don't think they would be sane afterwards. It's not made incredibly clear, but it seems that Peter's level of consciousness in the coma varied a lot (especially as related to later events). To have no sense of time, to only know pain both physical and mental (his body burned, the loss of his entire family and pack) and have no release, no way to express it - yeah. Peter's a hell of a tragic villain.

What he does in S2 is...less tragic, and more villainous, even though he's not the primary villain of this season. This is where we start to see more of how manipulative Peter is (though we definitely catch a glimpse in S1 where he's trying to get Derek and Scott both to join him). What he does to Lydia is unforgivable. He's already assaulted her physically, but he then, in parallel to his own suffering, assaults her mind. I wish we had a better understanding of how magic worked in TW because it's difficult to assume how much of this is directly Peter's choice. He glimpses Gerard Argent with the kanima and nopes the fuck out of there purely out of fear and self-preservation.

S3 with the alpha pack and the nogitsune is where we finally start to see a more complete picture of Peter - and it isn't pretty. He's manipulative. He's a liar. He's sarcastic and petty to a bunch of teenagers. But he is their ally, even if it's reluctant. He shares information - for a price. He helps - when it benefits him, or at least doesn't inconvenience him. The only time he seems to help without these things is when Stiles is possessed by the nogitsune, and even that can be interpreted as a continuation of self-preservation.

S4 is where things get complicated and also they fucked up with Peter for me. Not with the benefactor storyline - I think that turning out to be related to his coma madness was actually incredibly interesting. Even an unconscious Peter is a manipulator. But working with Kate - even if he was going to double cross her in the end - and trying to kill Scott didn't make sense. It's pure villainy, yes, and maybe that's why they did it, but it doesn't fit the Peter that we know. He would never have agreed to work with Kate. He dedicates his entire life to killing everyone involved with the fire - but especially her - in S1. He's willing to die just to kill her. And then they team up? Nah. Trying to kill Scott for his alpha spark is more reasonable, but I still don't quite buy it. He knows he wouldn't have taken over the pack, or escaped, or accomplished whatever other goal. That's where it's unclear - what, exactly, is his motivation for wanting to become an alpha again? Just...power? Peter loves power, don't get me wrong, but

S5: my man is imprisoned in Eichen and then immediately gets kidnapped by the wild hunt when he gets out. Nothing for his character arc but handing him a fat L honestly. He kinda deserved it.

S6: now this is where things get complicated again but in a better way. Awesome that it only took them the entire show to get to this version of Peter (I guess that's the point of the character arc. but I wanted more of this Peter). Peter has fully succumbed to the wild hunt until Stiles shows up (and I have a lot of Steter thoughts about this but that's not what this post is about. anyway.). That magic is strong, since the Peter we've seen clings to life so desperately that he tears it apart with his claws all the time, but he is docile here. At least until he wakes up - then it's back to fighting to the death to escape and to live. He's - surprise, surprise - manipulative here once again. The clearest example of this is when he encourages that guy to try his plan just to watch him fail and die. But when he gets back - he tries to help Stiles and the others. His selfishness makes a return when he goes to get the fuck out of Beacon Hills (which, honestly, fair) but it is an interesting turn that he tries to convince Malia to come with him, is it not? The narrative has told us Peter doesn't care about other people, family more than included. Seems he didn't get the message, in the end. And speaking of 'in the end' - he stands by the pack. He very nearly dies (again!!!) because he stayed to help. It's an interesting end for a character as complicated as Peter, for sure.

Peter is selfish and self-serving and manipulative and honestly just kind of a dick to a bunch of teenagers for little reason (teenagers are annoying, yes, but dude. you're a grown man cut the sass a little). And he's my favorite special little guy, even if the narrative doesn't really care about him until the end of the series and only barely then. Peter is, if I had to sum it up in one term, an infrequently justified villain with some hinted at soft spots that I would've loved more exploration of. Let's pretend that's one term. Like I said, he's my favorite, and I had a lot to say. I hope this sums it up well!

[shai-manahan]

Hello!

I am a person who is writing his own Interactive Fiction game. I currently have about 50k words written for it and will probably be making a forum thread soon. But I really need some advice from you as your game is one of my favourite.

The thing I am struggling with is my plot seems a bit bland to me and I just don't know what to do about it. Like I at the start only decided my game is going to be very reactive to choices and I have loads of meaningful choices and lots of variables remembering lots of things. But when I read through what I have written so far it feels a bit meh. Like your game is soooo intriguing as a reade. So my question was how do I make the plot more intriguing?? Sorry for the long ass post

I'm probably not the best person to ask about this; I go through cycles of self-doubt at least a few times a month 😞

But I'll do my best to help!

First of all, 50k words for an initial demo is impressive! HM had around 28k words when I first uploaded a public demo (which was just the first version of the prologue), so you're doing very well!

I think it would help tremendously for you to sit down and figure out what themes you wish to put focus on. It doesn't mean that you can't tackle a few others as you write, but it's always good to set goals like this to maintain consistency and make their presence strong in the story. It doesn't have to be something "grand"; it just needs to be clear in your head.

It's cool to aim for your choices to be meaningful, but watch out for scope creep. Not that I can talk; I have way too many variables tracking the MC's actions/dialogue choices as well as routes that not many will ever know about. And they can be fun! Just remember that fun doesn't always remove the stress attached to those boosts of excitement. I'd say try to focus on choices/variables you're sure you can deal with, particularly those that can enhance the quality of your plot, and you can decide to add more once you're certain you can handle them.

I have no way of knowing you're not already doing this, but well-developed characters help the impact of the plot grow stronger. Their fears, motivations, what they need to see vs what they have currently. Humans are complex beings, and for me, it's always interesting to try and explore that complexity. I love exploring it.

Try to talk to a friend about what you have at the moment! It helps to have some who'd never mince their words and are willing to give honest feedback while being helpful at the same time. In a way, it can be encouraging to know you have someone to depend to, and I hope you can find them if you haven't met such a person yet.

It's a first draft!! This is something I also keep telling myself, though it doesn't necessarily help me clear out all doubts all the time. But you should at least be aware of it. This is the first time I'm creating an IF, but I did a lot of film screenplays before, and my first drafts always sucked. It's why rewrites are not a foreign concept to me, and why I know HM might go through a lot of changes before I settle on its final version. But I do think both readers and writers should be aware of the fact that first drafts aren't supposed to be perfect; and WIPs, no matter how long they are, shouldn't be expected to have no flaws at all.

I cannot stress this out more, but taking walks outside or even doing the most mundane of errands can help to clear your mind! Try to take some rest; it might even give you some perspectives you haven't thought of before :))

I think that's all I can give for now, and I hope you're having a great time writing so far! I do want to remind you that you'll have to find methods that personally work for you as well, whether you're a plotter, a pantser, or something in between. It's why I haven't been too specific with the things I said; it's best for you to try and see what actually works for you as a writer. Best of luck <3

[mayday-jd]

it's here....

I am watching all the trolls movie in one sitting while taking a break between each one to really process the colorful trip I'm about to go on

so obviously the first question I'd ask myself would be was trolls (2016) good?? and the answer is yeah it's pretty fun but not that it's fantastic more like smth I'd put on if I got bored and wanted to watch a silly movie with songs and bright fucking characters

so I'd give it a 7/10 maybe

now onto some notes and silly remarks shall we?

—————

• the movie starts with a scrapbooking montage/flashback where it's basically explains that bergens eat trolls to feel happy because they're miserable creatures that don't sing, dance or hug

and when the flashback actually starts we literally see gristle (who has NEVER eaten a troll) FUCKING SMILE LIKE??

"daddy omg it's trollstice I'm so excited!! 🥹"

tell me this boy is not buzzing with fucking joy rn look me dead in the eyes and tell me that

and yeah ik that what's said in the intro probably isn't all meant literally cuz when poppy and branch arrive to bergen town all the ppl there start singing clint eastwood by gorillaz (which was fucking hilarious LMAO)

• bridget and gristle are SO FUCKING ADORABLE LIKE LOOK AT THEM

they don't know they're destined to fall in love but bridget's sure as hell already in love with gristle lol

they're honestly so sweet and happy tgt I wish they explode I hate them sm (they're everything to me)

I can't believe they pulled a cinderella and I didn't hate it the entire time cuz ngl bridget is that girl she just doesn't know it

speaking of bridget....

• I love gristle duh he's so dumb and adorable and stupid and a literal man child but in an endearing way that somehow works

but bridget?? she truly means everything to me

she's just so miserable and sad in this movie it's awful to see so ty poppy for helping my girl out cuz goddamn was she in a horrible place yeesh...

I also could not get a ss of her with poppy but the besties??? the sisters?? the girls ever?? yeah they're like all that matters to me like that scene where bridget is set to ruin her life so poppy and the other trolls can escape cuz she showed her what true happiness was?? did not tear up at all 😎

• since I'm talking about bergens rn might as well say that I think the chef was a pretty damn good villain in this move

her motivations are clear, she has a consistent shitty personality and I don't find her that goofy or anything when she's carrying out her plan she's believable as an antagonist

her wanting to steal the throne and become queen kinda does make sense since she was banned from the town and developing a hatred/resentment for the same ppl that threw you away makes sense

and by "ppl" I mean the king aka the one on the throne so yeah she now wants to be queen and kill gristle lol

and since I'm talking about antagonists here let me talk about the biggest SNAKE in the room

ON THE NEXT POST 😁‼️

[vendetta-if]

💠💠

hey I'm just loving the story so so much and that scene with Yvette was *chefs kiss*...sorry this will probably be a long rant its just the things you've made me feel 😩😔...if I could read the entire story right now I'd sell a kidney 😂

I'm hoping we can have more conversations with Yvette like we did to really dive into her character, thoughts and feelings especially towards our MC...I usually have a hard time with her character because it always seems like she doesn't really regret what she did as much and seems more like she's approached MC and doing what she's doing mostly, if not solely, because she feels cornered and not as someone that also regrets their decisions and wishes to repair the relationship they DONT have with their child...I know she can feel both those and they can be her motivations, but it just feels like she's driven by the former and not the latter..so I'm looking forward to our interactions with her and if there will be options to let MCs frustrations, sadness, anger and longing bare before her I will...I'd be open to making amends but she has to know and feel everything her absence put MC through and my MC needs to see her genuinely, proactively and consistently care for them before they consider thinking of them as their mother again, nobody can top papa Vic 😂 he set the damn bar too high but if she can put half as much effort hey then we're getting somewhere...

And i have to say, your characters as well are so well written and realistic and raw that I get so engrossed in every little thing they do and I can't help but feel that they're real people with real scars, issues, hopes, dreams, problems and aspirations and relate with them...because I understand Yvettes thought process its like 'I've come too far to look back now' and she feels like she can't let go of everything she built because it would sort of make all her sacrifices meaningless or she may feel she doesn't deserve too and I think she did mention something like that but I wonder if she knows that hurts my MC more 😭😭

Anyway for an ask i wondering what Yvettes fears and or regrets are 'if they're not spoiler' are towards MC and the relationship between the both of them especially because Yvette is asking them to hunt the man that killed her former lover and father of her child 😅...especially if its a vengeful 'I WILL STOP YOU EVEN IF IT KILLS ME' MC...do they fear losing MC like they did Victor or has that not crossed their mind

Sorry it got pretty long but before i vanish I just want to encourage you and say you're awesome and stay blessed!!! its probably not easy making your content and living your life irl but you do it anyways and for that we are more than grateful 🙏

💠💠

Thank you so much for the kind words 🥰🙏 And I’m glad you’re loving the characters and feel like they’re realistic 🥺🥺 Also, don’t worry about sending this long ask, I love reading you guys’ reactions to the story ❤️ And, don’t sell your kidney for the story, the Morozovs don’t deal in organ trafficking 😆

So, about Yvette, yes, MC will have an optional chance to do a little hang out session with Yvette in the future where they’ll be able to have another conversation with her ☺️

Also, I love how readers interpret the talk with Yvette a little bit differently from each other. Some readily accept her apology and see it as sincere regret, while some, like you, are more skeptical and don’t readily forgive her right away.

Right now, I planned to let those that don’t forgive her the first time to change their mind in the future if they want to. It’s not 100% guaranteed as all plans are subjects to change constantly , but I’d really love to include that.

As for your question, I’m actually not really sure what Yvette’s fears are in the context of her relationship with MC other than messing up her second chance if MC decides to forgive her and MC dying 🥺 She doesn’t really fear MC hating her per se, because it is what she has been believing and expected all these years.

And yes, the thought of losing MC has crossed her mind before, and you can actually see that in the Luka and Yvette Funeral Talk Side Story in case you haven’t checked it out. She would be devastated if MC died, she doesn’t want that. When she came to ask for MC’s help, she just expected MC to talk with Luka or Grandpa and basically just be on standby to help with sharing information about the underworld that’s needed and connecting the group to the Morozovs’ resources and connections, instead of MC actively participating and hunting down the killer 😔

[mariajamel]

Some of my thoughts in regards to Amber

1. Small disclaimer: I'm a first time reader and have only read Ship of Magic from the Liveship Traders trilogy so far but my perception is strongly shaped by knowing which character from the first trilogy she is prior to starting the second one. 

2. I'm deeply in love with her, obviously. Could anyone expect it to be any other way with her? She's the most beautiful soul.

3. Now, what I  really like, knowing what I know, is how consistant the characterization is while also adding more intimate layers to her due to different narrative perspective.

4. The perspective. We finally see her through different characters' eyes and the Paragon's pov allows the exploration of her being a bit less secretive and actually straightforwardly honest about some of her feelings and most importantly her loneliness. 

5. The loneliness. Her gravitating towards Paragon pararells the Girl-on-a-Dragon situation but Paragon's, unlike Girl-on-a-Dragon's, isn't a closed off perspective - can you imagine if we got to experience the Fool from Girl-on-a-Dragon’s perspective? That would be wild (is there a fic doing that perpahs? I’d love to read it). But back to Amber: she gravitates to the outcasts and tries to save them from their loneliness hoping that in the process she'll mend her own, but then how sad is it that no one tries to save her in a smiliar way? And the mending her own part is especially true when she tells Paragon about her wishes for them and narrates that beautiful, vivid vision of coastal gardens, butterflies, dreamy sunsets and sunrises but it's more so what she wants than what he needs. And of course it doesn't make her motives to help him somehow less sincere or suddenly selfish, it just makes it even clearer how actuely lonely she is.

6. Now the fate thing: she claims to have come to Bingtown for a reason, tells Paragon he’s a part of her fate. But then she was also able to make a comfortable life for herself there and moreover, doing what she loves. Does it mean that she was trying to get a normal life but the loneliness got in a way and thus she turned back to the fate explanation to retain the feeling of being needed and having a purpose? Was meeting Paragon what reminded her of both how alone she feels and that to her there's always a purpose grander than herself or her feeling alone? Or has she really been all along trying to fullfill yet another prophecy and having a shop was just her way of waiting for the right moment? Overall I think I might end up heart-broken once I know the full answer.

There's also a part of me that quietly wonders what her deal with the Rain Wild folks or the Bingtown Traders might be that she, a woman (husbandless at that!), can trade during those weird times when women are shooed away from doing any business at all. Why was she allowed to have a shop in a place reserved for the Rain Wild goods only? But then I like to think that the best explanation is the simplest one here and it’s already been given when we first met her: her crafts are just that magical and mesmerizing - and there's proof aplenty for it. 

[fandsart]

I just saw all the reporter asks and I know it's been a few weeks but it is like my favorite thing to analyze is that entire sequence up until she realizes it is the Upside Down, like I've wanted to write an entire essay on it! (Maybe I'll do it now that I have more free time)

Anyways, the show reinforces that Nancy can write because Jonathan calls her a genius writer at the start of season 3. So like the canon does reinforce she can write in season 3 directly. So, the show does give reasoning directly in season 3 for Nancy being able to write. But this is mostly telling from a biased character. (Jonathan isn't going to tell Nancy that her writing is bad or mediocre while trying to comfort her over her treatment at work) We never actually see Nancy write in the show.

There's line from the actress who played Shiv Roy about how her character is not altruistic but it's convenient that what she wants can be considered altruism. I think the same philosophy applies to Nancy in a way and how her actions are perceived by the audience, specifically in terms with her reporting. Because we know that Wayne and Ms. Driscoll have the answers to the supernatural going ons so we want her to investigate, ignoring the negative ramifications as to how she gets her information and the canon supports that. This is particularly egregious with Wayne, where Nancy lies, saying that she'll tell his side of the story. And that's what gets Wayne to tell her about Victor Creel. The issue is that she never seems interested in writing an article about Wayne's story. She tells the police but after that Victor Creel solely becomes a jumping off point for investigating Vecna. It looks like she solely used Wayne for the information and nothing else. She doesn't mention Wayne again at all. She only cared about the information that he can give her. And I know, supernatural threat and that's going on and all. But she never mentions Wayne again at all. Even a throwaway line at the end, saying that she's working on writing an article on Eddie because of Wayne, would have gone a long way to showing that she cared about Wayne and wasn't just using him for information. Because at least to me that's how it comes off in the show. (Also this occurs with Ms. Driscoll on a smaller scale when Nancy lies to see her in the hospital as a relative - from the Driscoll family's point of view, it is horrifying to know that the last person to see your family member alive was a stranger that lied to get into their room. Like it doesn't come across that the stranger had good intentions and it shows Nancy's lack of journalistic ethics.) So. Season 3. I have so many thoughts on season 3. One is that Nancy was not investigating because she thought something was up, like Joyce. She's just investigating it because she thinks it'll make a good story and she wants to prove herself as a reporter. Which is fine! But her reasoning was not at all out of concern for the Upside Down, she just wanted a good story. Another thing is that Nancy absolutely had skewed standards for the internship. Yes, the way Nancy was treated was sexist and awful but she also had unrealistic expectations for her internship, which without the sexism would have largely consisted of editing articles and getting coffee, no actual investigation. Nancy would not be willing to work up the ranks of papers. I honestly think PI was the ideal career choice for her because she likes investigating but she doesn't like to be beholden to rules. Being a PI would allow her to avoid many rules. Anyways, sorry about the rambling, I find Nancy a fascinating character (Although I hate her most of the time) and I find her motivations and such really interesting. In the interest of not elongating this ask, I'm going to cut it off here, but I have many more thoughts on this whole section of Nancy's plot and may return to discuss more! Hope you are doing well and wishing you a happy week!

We get a lot of show don't tell when it comes to things we're supposed to believe about Nancy so a lot of the time my view on it warps. Like, Fred says something about her being the most desirable girl in school or something, but I was under the impression she wasn't really on the school radar until she started dating Steve, and then she (in the public image at least) downgraded to Jonathan. I figure she's considered very desirable by nerds and losers but probably pretty average by everyone else. And I do think that Fred is one of those losers. So him and Jonathan, who she is in a relationship with, being pretty much the only characters to say she's a good writer does not instill my confidence in her abilities

You know, I think it would have been really good if we had Nancy and Eddie interact some more, and then Nancy could have been the one to have the scene at the end with Wayne. I think if done right that could have hit harder since the two have already interacted before. Maybe she could have been apologetic that she can't tell the story she wanted to tell because no one would believe her or something

Season 3 Nancy kind of reminds me of the Eddie situation, where as a viewer we knew that he was innocent so that knowledge makes it easy to believe that the townspeople were being unreasonable, but they kind of weren't, at least not by a lot. Chrissy was found in his house and he fled the scene, and now more people are dying and Eddie's still nowhere to be found. He wasn't just accused of murder because he was a convenient scapegoat. She was found in his living room and he probably has a criminal history, and is definitely known to be antagonistic towards every group of people he's not apart of

In season 3 with Nancy, we want Nancy to follow this story because we know it connects to the upside down and she needs to discover that, but she is being kind of unreasonable. Once she finds the story, then what? She's already been fired from the place where she might have been able to get a story out. Where does she plan to take it? Not only that, but again, because we know there's something bigger here, we want her to investigate, but what she's aware of the situation, it's not that big a story. "There are rabid rats around." Like ok, people might find that good to know, but most probably wouldn't look past the headline. You don't need to dig that deep about it. You didn't need to get fired, you could have just spread the word. Hawkins is a small town, if you just tell people you've seen violent rats, it'll spread and people will have been warned.

I'm also really tired of how her story is portrayed, because the people criticizing her usually have pretty valid reasons. Whenever this stuff happens to Joyce it's always presented as kind of tragic because we know that she's right, but we're also aware of how it sounds. In Nancy's case it's always presented as people just being dicks. And like... yes they were being dicks. It has to be presented that way so that the audience would disregard anyone who disagrees with Nancy. The people experienced in the journalistic department told her that no one would read that story, but she's just so self important she assumes she knows better. And because we know that it's upside down related we want to cheer for her, because it did turn out to be kind of a big deal, but it's like Nancy isn't actually creative enough for a writing job, while she thinks that she is. And the encouragement of the people who like her doesn't really help

She's never going to get better if she can't take criticism

[silver-wield]

wow, it's been quite late for me but during jan 4? It seems like a twitter has been gettin shit for a shitty ass take he made about tifa and cloud. He's called profnoctis? And honestly? Shame man. He calls himself a theologian or professor? But wth are these bad takes and immoral standards? I swear, they like to act like cloud was tearing up the world from the pain of losing someone he barely even knew and he had a brain defect as well. Like i get its rpg, but ff isn't that kind of rpg. I can't stand anybody preaching they love cloud but really? They only love to self insert themselves in cloud because she has tons of girls who are into him. It's an incel dream.

I also hate HATE how they frame shippers as only shippers when literally we know more about the game than these dudebros who are allergic to the genre of WELL WRITTEN romance. Just because he PERSONALLY sees cloud is available, doesn't mean he has an infatuation to everyone who's into him. Might as well say he feels the same way for jessie or madam M while they're at it. That's like saying cloud only had feelings for tifa "after" because he's fine now like wtf??? What shit ass love story is that??????

Sighhhhhhhhhj you can't call yourself a theory maker wtvr if you don't understand he literally did everything for tifa, name Lockhart is literally based on that. What use would "he had a cRuSh" has in the game other than for incel fantasy. Cloud isn't you, cloud has his feelings, and hell no, it's only for tifa.

I swear saying "he only ever loved tifa" is auto-shipper for them. Like it needs to be both or you're a shipper. Well id rather be a canon shipper with proof than an incel who wants to make up excuses how he's not one. If you don't have proof, your personal opinion is fck all nonsense, just common sense so they shouldn't call it canon.

Plus i saw they gave you shit for it. The original poster, I know that guy, i immediately unfollowed him before when i realized he's just desperate for followers and it shows. Making a thread discussing the girls and not expecting a shipping discussion to arise? Calling you jairus? Lmao FARRRRRRR from it. I hate cleriffs and these " neutral"s aka "we just want both of them idgf " type of mofos.

Jfc, im so sorry for the anger but I can't stand their bullshit. I always thought both these guys are weird for some reason and it shows. God i just feel so bad for cloud. I really fcking do. Not even his fans know him, so much for so called acceptance that he wants when they just "want you/ fave you" when they need to self insert.

Idgaf if they're not real. Their shitty moral standards show what kind of people they are on real life. That's like stating you'll cheer for walter white, despite the fact he's a pos but yeah he's not real . Lmao sure sure they should hide in those mantle of BS because they have nothing to say back that has proof other than " i want nothin of this war" for which they themselves provoked.

It seems that "prof" deleted the tweet. I guess he didn't want others to unfollow him or rightfully correct him on his bullshit. I mean when I say these dudebros just want followers and acting all high and mighty but it's all air anyway. I've seen max say some shit at some point but i hope he stays consistent and not say bs if he says he actually knows the game.

btw, for a theory maker, why can't he see that , that supposed "infatuation" is just jenova all along? And has 0 to do with his real opinions. He's a puppet, who only shows his real self with tifa as toriyama stated. Sigh, ill stop now but I really really hate shit takes. It's been decades, it just makes me want to kill them. I just wish they clarify exactly what cloud's motivation is and why he's even tf alive now (we know why but they don't sigh).

[setr0spect]

About Sonic Franchise... what would I do? 1#

Hello, have you ever imagined what would you do if you where in a position of a company because you wanted to change something that they originally did but it was so bad? Well, today (or everyday), I will talk about what would I do if I was the owner of the entire Sonic franchise and if SEGA gave me full freedom of what I could do as an average Sonic enjoyer. 1. Rewrite with more consistence

It's kind of simple thing actually, if we compare the IDW with Sonic Universe, we can see that the stories made in Archie Comics was more... developed? Like, we had a lot of cool characters and stuff and we had a good story (The ones directed by Ian Flynn, of course.). Mobius will be Terra (Earth) but in 299 years in the future, and the term humans will be changed to overlander, you know the old story created by Archie, right? I will just make an adaptation, I don't even know if I could use the term overlanders to mention the humans, if I cannot use it then the name would be tumans, the "t" is from Terra.

2. Characters

I would need to talk with Ian Flynn about bringing his old characters, like Eclipse the Darkling, yes, Shadow's brother, we had an good story with him but it didn't had a continuation. And I would also need to talk with... ugh... Ken Penders... because he is owner of a lot of important characters, like: Scourge, Lara-su, Julies-su, Sonic's parents, Mammoth Moul, Sally's family and many others. And of course, the IDW characters will continue to exist and everyone working on this work can create new characters. I'm thinking about giving Cream brothers... if not, give a reason for why she is the only daughter, yes, I like to create dark backstories.

3. Fan-Characters

Since I really liked the community (the good part of it, at least), I would talk with a lot of creators, about me, giving a payment for them, that could give me the permission to make a lot of specials ACTs about their characters, why would I do that? Because good references is not enough and it would be a form of thank you for being part of the community, of course, not everyone would had their special comic, but at least have a camera or apparition in a square of a comic. But the highest apparition of them would be in a remake of Sonic Forces, why? Because the game has the custom character creation, and many OCs appeared from there, also, I think the game was supposed to be a certain alliance between company and clients. And also characters that was a beta version of other characters, like Terios, Umbra, Venice and the beta version of Blaze, Sonic, Rouge and also, cancelled characters like Tiara, Null, Metal Shadow and Inigo. 4. Consistence

Let's use an example, Shadow the Hedgehog, in the old comics, he was very different than today (IDW), he worked for G.U.N, made a overlander (human) friend called Hope than reminds him of Maria, he wasn't so cold and impatient, he also had a respect for Sonic. Today, on the IDW... he's sucks... yeah. I mean, in Sonic Forces, he killed the Jackal Squad, yes, he killed, that was confirmed by Ian Flynn, the problem is that he wasn't supposed to kill when his motivations is being led by Maria's wish about giving them a chance and... I forgot what she told him... but anyways, you get the idea.

5. Character rules

In the IDW there is a lot of those stupid rules... Sonic cannot cry, I mean, it would be nice, c'mon. Mobius, mobian and G.U.N cannot be mentioned and OH MA GA, money doesn't exist. In this Ultimate Rewrite of mine, those rules will be burned. Shadow won't be a complete jerk, there will be money, Mobius is where everything happens and most importantly, everyone will get a parentship.

6. Family

Sonic had a lot of parents, yes... but when came the IDW, they got erased... so... this time, our blue blur will have parents, and this will be nice because, I already have a story involving his parents, Bernadette Hedgehog and Jules Hedgehog... and Aleena... yes, the very first (I think) mother of Sonic..., I will explain this thing in other post, for now, just be in alert. Tails also will have his parents (again), as for Amy and Knuc-... oh yes... I forgot about the "last of the echidna" thing... but you guys get the idea. 7. Relationships

People that know me would say "Oh let me guess, you will make Sonadow a cannon?" HAHAHA no... as much as I would like... no, because after some time, I see that Sonic loves everyone but not to the point of being in a romantic relationship, but, to make everyone happy, there will be an ACT where Sonic or someone else from his gang, would travel to other realities, and one of those realities, the Sonadow thing is real or Sonamy or many others, I want to make a lot of references that the fans made, like Sonic.exe, Sonic: The murder of me, and a lot of other kind of realities... oh, Amy and Shadow will propose to Sonic, but he will reject in the canon, but be glad that there will be those ACTs. As for other ships... Rouge and Knuckles will be a thing, but after... what? 40 Comics? Who knows? In the end, they will be a couple. And there is the ship between Silver and Espio... I think it's cute to happen, and it would be perfect! I mean... Silver, technically, shouldn't create any kind of relationship or else it would create a paradox... man... I have a great idea to the future so they could be a couple. About Blaze... she is more like a old sister to Silver, like Rouge is to Shadow, so no romance between them! Vector and Vanilla will have their developments to be a couple. Gadget and Zero... I mean, why not? I just need a perfect story to make more sense. And yes, Gadget will be canon, between all the custom characters, he will receive more focus. 8. Custom Characters

Do you guys remember of the promotional characters of Sonic Forces? Well, they will exist and I will create (or help to create) a story for each one of them or just a tip of what they were, who they are and why they fight... and like I said before, Gadget will have more focus.

[avephelis]

Tag 9 People You Want to get to Know Better

WHAGH!! got tagged into this by @explodingstarlight (hi) and it looked fun so figured i'd have a go.

CURRENTLY READING: mainly fanfics!! waay too many to list, but my ao3 bookmarks should be here if anyone wants them.. other than that, a bit of cat's cradle (kurt vonnegut), and i've been meaning to re-read as you like it (that one shakespeare comedy).

FAVOURITE COLOUR: PURPLE!! i love purples way too much. also love earthy pinks, soft teals and yellows.

LAST SONG: ermm ES (crying) !! which is a good song. normally i listen to a lot of punk, indie, rock, showtunes, and so on.

LAST MOVIE: puss in boots: the last wish (2022). which is AMAZING, i've actually seen it in cinemas TWICE it's so good. and would definitely recommend the big screen experience for watching it.

SWEET/SPICY/SAVOURY: i have a bit of a sweet tooth, so most of my favourites are sweet. but i think savoury is more consistently good (hard to go wrong with it, while sweet can make me sick). so probably leaning more savoury? spicy can also be good but it's kind of situational.

CURRENTLY WORKING (on?): less fandom stuff right now, a lot of character design!! two commissions for dnd ocs, and a whole lot of my own ocs (which i really want to sort out for artfight!). i have a couple rottmnt/toh ideas in the vault, but i'm more motivated to finish the personal stuff right now. always doodling fanart though, lol.

okay that's me done!! that was pretty fun actually (i do enjoy talking about myself, we dabble in a little hubris), thank you for tagging me explight ^ ^ (hope nicknames are okay!!). OH okay hang on i gotta tag people now umm let's see

@enigmajaython, @carpisuns, @itsjuice-art, @otteritos, @peppoco, @zyrafowe-sny (SO SORRY if anyone doesn't want to be tagged, and no pressure obviously) and silent tag @/spectra-bear, @/nyellyscious, @/chocoarts01 (i dunno if y'all are good with @s or not)

if anyone else i didn't tag sees this and wants to join just go for it ^_^

[that-banana-headed-bovine]

My main man Michael Knight for character bingo!!!!

AYYY- This one's interesting really, especially because Season 2 Michael is basically,, an entirely different entity? As in, he's reached the end of his character arc and is actually a really, really nice dood. So I had to use two types of bingos, and I'll explain it further below. Here's the original post BTW.

If you can't read the image, don't worry, I'll say all the marked squares below. If you can, let me know if there is anything I can do to make it more legible next time--I mean, obviously, the squares are covered up, but I mostly mean with the colors. I almost used red and green, and then I remembered that, oh yeah, that really sucks for colorblindness. Now the saturation is still about the same, but anything much lighter or darker is less legible??? So yeah, any recommendations on that welcome.

Let's start with the reds, or Definite opinions.

They are soooo cool looking!

I dressed up as Michael Knight for Halloween a few years back, even though I wasn't fully sold on him as a character yet at that point. I was still healing from Season 1 (half kidding) ... but I did it because he is such a Vibe. Seriously, I felt so alive it wasn't even funny AISHDOAS- my final form /j

Michael is, aesthetically at least, literally everything I want to be (other than. y'know. male,,,). Immaculate. MUAH! He really does feel like a California Cowboy of sorts... and leather jackets are a gift to mankind by the way. I especially love how, in his classic leather jacket + red polo outfit at least, he coordinates with Kitt. So cute haodh

Wasted potential

I've been having a bit of a moral dilemma recently when it comes to the way I engage in this fandom, so I want to disclose fully here that, in real life, I don't think a robot can be on the same level of sentience as a human. Perhaps, as tech evolves, there will be AIs that are really, REALLY good at replicating it... but that won't be real. We're just people after all. We can develop really cool technology, and that's all great, but we shouldn't be trying to play God and think we can make actual life. We can't.

That said, within the confines of Knight Rider's fictional universe, Kitt is fully alive. Michael is the only character who has so much as a shot of really getting that. Devon understands theoretically what Kitt is meant to be, and Bonnie even understands mechanically, but Michael sees his personality. And it's strange, really, how the show sometimes treats this as important but sometimes Not. I really love how, in Trust Doesn't Rust, Michael is far more hesitant to go after Karr than anyone else, asking if it really is necessary. I truly wish they'd have taken that further in TDR, and involved it at ALL in Kitt vs. Karr. Season 2 is my favorite because it embraces this (more later), but even then, we didn't get to see the stage in between that brought him there. He went from a caring skeptic in S1 to full-on sap in S2. Honestly, I really believe there's a lesson there about not taking those around you for granted, that just because you don't understand someone doesn't mean they're any less worthy of love, that just because you know you care doesn't mean that they do. I never expected Knight Rider to become an arc-motivated show, but I did at least hope that the subtle throughline would stay more consistent.

They're deeper than they seem

Basically just above 2.0. He has an internal struggle I think, between wanting to trust his new family and having been burned by his old one (the police force I mean, especially Tanya). It takes him a good while to FULLY trust and understand Kitt--yes, the pilot is a big step in that direction and probably what the show writers meant to be the end of it, but I can't help but sense more. Is his best friend even REAL, y'know? Also probably PTSD. And ,,, EVERYTHING about Stevie, it almost feels like an entirely different mini-show in those episodes? Possibly even some imposter syndrome about how this new life isn't even HIS life, he's walking in the shoes of somebody else? I dunno, but there's a lot here.

Also, while I don't know if I'm down fully with the "Michael is ace" headcanon, because he's definitely willingly Done the Deed plenty as implied by certain episodes of the show (man I hate that sentence I'm sorry), I do love the idea that he's really not fulfilled by these relationships in the slightest. That behind the "not thoughts, head empty" smile he just wants something real, but has been dragged into a fake life and a surface-level existence. Feels bad man

They work better as part of a dynamic

Michael and Kitt, mostly. If Michael were by himself, Knight Rider would feel like just another Magnum PI, Hardcastle and McCormick, etc. Not that these shows are bad, Magnum PI has probably aged better than KR after all, but none of them captured my attention quite as much. Kitt,,, MIGHT be able to carry a show by himself entirely, if he were human? Idk, that personality is just so good and unique, but even he benefits from a foil. Michael, though, is probably the best iteration of a very common 80s MC personality, and having Kitt there is what makes it go from a pretty good romp to a wonderful classic.

Also Michael and Karr are my favorite duo to think about, it would be so good. Especially if Kitt is there trying to babysit his two himbo besties. Michael's got no braincells, and Karr has 'em but chooses not to use them.

Onto the blues, or the kinda/conditional opinions.

If they were real, I would marry them.

Depends on the season 100%. Season 1 Michael is likeable enough but just SO frustrating at times, and Season 3 has proven to be frequently outright insufferable. Season 2, though? That man's marriage material probably, and even just aesthetically. Maybe not MARRY marry, I don't really have a crush on him??? Anymore I tend to immediately convert my potential fictional crushes into blorbos, so there's that. But lifelong besties at least.

They're like a blorbo to me

HMM- Honestly? Dunno if this one's true. Then why did I mark it? Because... KINDA???

He's been at the forefront of my mind a lot more recently, admittedly because I already worked out Kitt + Karr's arcs (the TRUE blorbos) and am now trying to figure out what to do with him, but still. And even at times when I hate Michael's guts and wanna bap him in the forehead, I still don't hate him. Like "holy macaroni that was horrific like I actually hate you" "so you don't like him?" "*grinning* nah he's cute". Like, Hoff's characterization of him is too charming ashfo idc if he's an ahole he's MY ahole

So,,, probably more of my Little Skringlo than a Blorbo, but close enough.

Nothing I like about them is technically canon

See,,, Everything above about his character arc. See, I think his arc is SUPPOSED to be canon? But it isn't TEEECHNICALLY canon anymore thanks to Seasons 3 and 4 existing, which means S2 Michael got reverted to S1 Michael and then it was a whole mess. If it had ended in S2, I would have been convinced that it was the intended arc. But now, I don't actually know.

Why do they look like that

I'm interpreting this entirely wrong and I know it, you can't stop me /laughing hard

As I said before, I aesthetically love Michael so much, so I don't mean this as in "ew why does he look like that?" ... I mean it literally, WHY would you do that Wilton?

Why would you find some random guy in the street, go "that's the ticket Shahra", and then PUT YOUR KID'S FACE ON HIM ASDOHSHD WHY FOR WHY

so yeah, not Michael's fault, this is a Wilton callout post now

They got too much screentime

I'm really only saying this about the first half of Season 1. After Trust Doesn't Rust, they seemed to realize that people really REALLY loved the cars, and so balanced the episode more. Before, though, they tried to fit in so many bits for no reason while STILL giving Michael the majority of the screentime? It really went

Devon says Here is Mission (and establishes a Funny Interest)

Michael takes off with Kitt. Michael and Kitt participate in Banter, with Michael getting way more of the words than is reasonable?

Michael tracks down the bad guy and monologues stuff out loud, figures out a gameplan, goes in after Guy

Kitt has A Gag

Michael does 80% of the work

"I need ya buddy" vroom vroom Kitt silently breaks into building.

Michael does Car Stuff

punch punch bad guy even tho we have indestructible car!!! they get apprehended of screen we didn't see any cops show up either so I guess Michael sent 'em to the shadow realm

Devon's interest gets made fun of

Kitt's interest from Gag also gets made fun of

and scene

seriously am I forgetting anything here IASDHOI- The dynamic got fixed pretty quickly tho, which is why it's not a full Yes. I am fine with Michael getting the majority of the screentime so long as Kitt isn't left with like, three lines of dialogue.

Also, I do project SOME imposter syndrome onto him, just not enough to mark off that answer. And also I didn't wanna give y'all bingo so easily >:) try again muahaha

[shig-a-shig-ah]

Hey! So a while back I remember you mentioning having to prepare yourself for the motivation of writing (and completing) a long fic before starting AtBI, and I was wondering if you could go more into what that process was like? I want to try my hand at a longer fic for the first time in a while, but I struggle a lot with motivation these days 😞

Oh, man. So for me it involved doing a couple of things. The first was literally just psyching myself up for it which I know is vague, but it's the truth. I don't think there's any shame in writers moving on from long fics and leaving them incomplete, but I didn't want to do that so I tried to steel my resolve or whatever by literally thinking a lot about the time commitment. Not so much in terms of what I'd have to invest in writing week to week, but in terms of how long it would take me to finish the story. I also thought a lot about the fact that it would be my main writing priority for potentially a really long time. (I still WAY underestimated that time frame, btw. Partly because I'm posting much slower than I used to, and partly because the fic is going to be twice as long as I originally thought.)

The second thing I did was more practical, and that was outlining and making sure I more or less knew what was going to happen for at least the first 90% of the story. My outline was way more specific about the first half of the fic than the last half--probably 80% of what's happened in the story so far was according to outline. I think one of the big reasons long fics get dropped is because people don't know where they're going and things just kind of peter out. I don't think having that kind of plan is is strictly necessary, but it does make my life a lot easier on days where I'm feeling uninspired or unmotivated, because the writer's block doesn't hit as hard. I at least have enough already done to work out a very shitty rough draft of a scene, and from there editing is always easier. I think I've mentioned before that I already had a pretty good writing habit--it was a big part of my morning routine so I'd literally sit down to work on thing around the same time every day--and that also really helped with the motivation.

So, idk. I think just really thinking through what you want to accomplish, how you'll make sure you're working on it consistently (if that's a goal), and what you'll do if it starts to feel like a slog are all really helpful for actually getting it done. It feels important to note that doing all that only helps so much, too--I really love writing AtBI but I have thought about abandoning it or going on hiatus more than once. It can be weirdly stressful writing a long fic, for a lot of reasons. You might get new ideas you wish you had more time to pursue, and then you have to think about priorities. Or you might get kind of bored of your own story, because if you're trying to keep tone/characterization/dynamics really consistent, eventually things are going to start feeling repetitive. Maybe not to readers (although I guess people could weigh in on that) but definitely as a writer. And that's without thinking about the potential added pressure if people get invested in your fic. It sounds kind of egotistical to pose that as a problem, but most people I know who've written long fics that got traction have agreed that after a while it gets easy to stress about disappointing your regular readers, so things start to feel more high stakes. I have definitely spiraled out more than once thinking I'm about to post garbage that people will hate, and while it's logically easy to know that I'm writing for myself and have every right to tell the story I want to tell, sometimes it's harder to actually feel that if you get what I mean.

Of course, some of this depends on how long 'long' is to you. AtBI is probably going to be 250k words by the time it's done and that's just stupid. I would never attempt to write another fic that goes through the whole canon timeline, or anything even close to that long. Something that's probably going to be 60k words is going to be a lot easier to get through and avoid some of these problems, I think.

Anyway, that's probably more than anyone wanted on the subject but I, uh, have a lot of thoughts on writing long fics, and the sum of it is that to do it I think you have to be either a really fast low-stress writer, or a little bit insane.

[amplexadversary]

More Utena, ep 13

"Might makes right" from the Greek Chorus, right off the bat. Gee, I wonder if we're going to be challenging the premise of these duels sometime soon.

"And the winner walked away, looking like a lesbian lily" Actually, I'm glad I watched this after I got clued in to that particular cultural metaphor, and not like, when this show was first recommended to me in high school.

Huh, that's two episodes in a row where the Greek Chorus screw around with a flying saucer; it was treated as a real thing in 12 and as a prop in 13. Wonder what that's about.

Ohhhhhhh and look who's being definitively shown as a flesh-and-blood person outside of a flashback for the first time! That's certainly a very distinct hair color pointing me in a direction. The guy is wearing red rather than white though...

tbh another part of why I didn't watch this show earlier is that I did want to have time to forget some spoilers I'd seen earlier. It might be the influence of those that are leaving me convinced that the prince is probably Anthy's brother? (I mean they are the only purple-haired, dark-skinned characters in the show, and it would explain why Anthy has such a "special" role in ... it's still not clear what. It would be something of a parallel between Nanami's sibling incest thing going on to have Utena being possessed? by Anthy's maybe brother?? while fighting over her???)

NOPE, there are now three characters in this show with that particular color pallet. Also the duels have names, not ominous at all. Surely that's not hinting at something important we don't know about yet.

So we have amitie (friendship, green tone, Utena v Saionji defending - Utena wins),

choix (choice, Saionji v Utena defending - Utena wins),

raison (reason Miki v Utena defending - Utena wins), (I actually did think Miki was a girl until his episode. wishful thinking.) (I'm still not over how douchey it was of Touga to use the guy's sister's emotions to fuck with his motivations like that)

amour (love, that one didn't need translating, Jury v Utena defending - Utena wins),

adoration (Nanami v Utena defending - Utena wins),

conviction ( Touga v Utena defending - Touga wins),

and soi (self, Utena v Touga defending- Utena wins), so far.

and then at some number that isn't specified, revolution.

"having hope for Anthy," when Utena started winning duels? That doesn't spell good things about her role in this business.

Wait, the color of the windows here are based on Utena's opponent, aren't they? ... Yep, Miki's duel is blue.

It doesn't line up that way every time, but I am a little amused by the line about the darkness of distance and the darkness of light frequently being sung to Anthy cupping her hands over her crotch. Yes, the darkness, that couldn't be referring to anything in particular could it.

(Edit: it lined up that way frequently in the first cour, but the second consistently lines that shot up with the line before. Still funny. Hey, these days, joking about vaginas is classy when Shakespeare does it! Utena can have some classy accidental vagina jokes as well! It's only fair!)

It does re-emphasize how fucked up it kind of is how most of these people aren't even fighting over Anthy herself; she just represents some other thing that they want. Arguably Saionji is different in that respect because he actually has feelings for her, but he does not treat Anthy well at all; he still kind of treats her like his possession.

Speaking of flashbacks, fuck Nanami for what she did to that kitten. People writing about characters being cruel to animals tend to put cats in the crosshairs; I think in a lot of cases the writers want something people are going to feel bad about, but like, not TOO bad, like if they were to harm a puppy. Jokes on them I have the opposite reaction; I'll feel sad about a dog, but a cat will actually make me cry.

... aaaaand there's another saucer, NOT shown with the shadow chorus this time. Huh.