#i wish time travel existed so i could go to the 60’s and give her a little kiss
Text
#i wish time travel existed so i could go to the 60’s and give her a little kiss#or maybe i’ll just go on a quest and find her now#she’s so pretty#and cool#joan baez#1960s#folk#60’s music#bob dylan
935 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fic: Great Rivals (1/1)
Title: Great Rivals
By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette
Spoilers: Full MCU, very specifically Black Widow
Disclaimer: They're not mine.
Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)
Story Summary: “So, I have the nuclear code. But, there he is: Captain America! Finally, the Red Guardian’s time has come! I grab hold of his shield, and face to face, it’s a test of strength. […] This shield, you know, that he carries with him like a precious baby blanket, you know? I use it to my advantage. I take it and I push him out the window. I make my escape.”
“What year was this?”
“I don’t know. Like ’83. ’84.”
“Captain America was still frozen in ice then.”
“Are you calling me a liar, Ursa, huh?” – Black Widow, 2021
Humor. Steggy. Set, oh, I don’t know. Like ’83. ’84.
Steggy Week Day 4: Favorite Headcanon
A/N: This is it. This is my new favorite headcanon that this really, actually happened and you can’t convince me otherwise. Spoilers for Back Widow. If you haven’t seen it, RUN. I will wait. I am absolutely in love with Bumbling-idiot-family-man Red Guardian. Also, based on canon and my understanding of the time travel rules (I’m going by Outlander/Doctor Who rules and until they state otherwise, you can’t stop me), this is 100% possible in the current MCU timeline, even WITHOUT the multiverse.
I started writing this pretty much right after watching Black Widow, then decided to use it for Steggy Week 21, Day 4: Favorite Headcanon.
Also, YES, Peggy and Steve would be quite a bit older when this happens. As in their 60’s. But I see no reason why a super-soldier Steve wouldn’t be able to pull this off with no problem. Plus, since we have no confirmation of when they have their children, I’m going with they have teenage/college age kids at this time. Timeline is just SUPER vague, so fill in your own head canon.
~*~
Steve stopped what he was doing, wiping his hands on the dishtowel before picking up the phone. “Hello?”
Her sigh through the phone line was not a good prospect. “Darling? Are you busy?”
“Just working on dinner,” her replied carefully, moving back to the roast and the rub he was trying to get to stick to the outside of the uncooked meat. “Why?”
“I’m afraid I’ve a large favor to ask.” The phone line garbled for a moment and he could hear her yelling across the room. “No, I said three tac teams, and keep their distance!”
Steve put down the seasonings and stepped back from the roast, cradling the handset between his ear and his shoulder. “The kids will be home soon, and I’ve got a roast on the counter. My time is limited, Peg.”
“Mr. Jarvis is on the way over,” she mumbled, the sounds of her shuffling papers on her desk clear. “I’m sure he can very well handle both those things.”
Steve washed his hands, intrigued. “And what, exactly, is it that you need me to handle?”
Her laugh was mirthless. “A very large, very angry idiot.” Her sigh was softer. “I’m afraid you’ll miss family dinner, but it’s wheels up in twenty at the base. And bring the shield.”
Steve looked toward the basement where he hid it. “The shield? The one Howard made me as a joke?”
“Yes. The shield.”
~*~
His briefing in the jet was marginally useful, at best. The man was known as The Red Guardian, a super soldier of unknown origin, working for the KGB. He wasn’t usually considered a serious threat, and even though he could be extremely dangerous, was often easily outwitted.
Peggy and SHIELD had managed to figure out that they often trotted him out as a decoy. Large, boastful, and loud, he attracted attention wherever he went, and caused enough damage to keep authorities busy. He wasn’t a tactical soldier, but that didn’t mean he was easily deterred.
Steve landed in California and was brought to the swanky hotel by SHIELD Agents who filled him in on the latest. “He’s on the tenth floor, in the suite.” The young man said as they pulled up to the scene. “The president and his team are safe, but I’m afraid the Guardian has one of their briefcases. We’re still trying to verify the contents.”
Steve stepped out of the truck and moved to the back, gearing up and filling the belt and pockets of his black tactical suit. Most people didn’t know he was alive, and even though he was showing up with a red, white, and blue shield strapped to his back, he and Peggy had decided the suit shouldn’t ever make a comeback while he was still frozen. “What could be in there?” he asked as he put an earpiece in.
The young agent shrugged, clearly frustrated himself. “Could be President Reagan’s menus for the next three days, could be the round of bills he was set to talk about at the capitol tomorrow, or…”
Steve didn’t like the way the young man paused. “Or?”
The man tried not to look nervous as he said it. “It could be the nuclear codes.”
Steve didn’t waste another second as he pushed forward, knowing what could possibly be on the line. The political climate with the Soviets was tense, and both sides seemed to have their hands hovering over those figurative buttons, ready to start the end of the world at any second.
The agents and police parted like the red sea around them, and Steve swiftly made his way into the building and up the stairs as quietly as he could. He did odd jobs for SHIELD here and there, anytime they need a little extra muscle or the job was particularly dangerous, he stepped in.
He hated missing Family Dinner night, though.
He slipped onto the tenth floor and heard the man’s bellows from down the hall. He was laughing, telling some sort of joke to the SHIELD agents that had him cornered.
The man had a suit of bright red and white, similar to the one he once wore in that it called to those around him, brought attention, and tried to be a symbol. The Guardian swung the briefcase in his hand, causing the agents to back up a step.
“Now, why don’t you just let me leave and we can all have nice day, hum?” The Guardian asked, teasing the men as he moved more and more aggressively.
“Why don’t you pick on someone who can handle you?” Steve asked loudly, stepping into the room, shield drawn and at his side.
The Guardian turned, a smile widening across his face. “Captain America,” he growled, his excitement growing. “Captain America!” he bellowed, as if triumphant, while pumping his fists in the air, one still holding the briefcase.
“I’ll be needing that briefcase,” Steve said, loud and serious.
The Guardian laughed, smiling as he sauntered closer to the man. “My great rival, finally here to challenge me!” He sighed as if his greatest wish had come true. “The time has truly come.”
Steve wasn’t exactly sure what this man had heard, or why he seemed to know that Steve was Captain America so far removed from the War- SHIELD had worked desperately to keep his existence under wraps and to keep the figure of Captain America out of the public eye as much as they could. Steve couldn’t quite figure out why he seemed so excited.
The Guardian did a little skip jump in place, almost a two-step as he got closer and closer. “I have come to steal your nuclear codes. The time has come for the Soviet Union to rise!”
The man paused, almost unnaturally still, and then without warning charged at Steve. Steve held his ground, the man running into him and his shield with fantastic speed and strength, pushing them both back until Steve felt his back connect with then push through the plaster of the wall behind him. Steve pushed back, launching The Guardian off of him with his shield and pulling himself out of the wall. He saw the briefcase skid to a halt to their side, but turned his attention back to the problem before him.
The fight that ensued was sloppy, but serious. The man had no technique, which set Steve back on his heels. He wasn’t ever sure where the next punch or kick would come from, because the Guardian wasn’t skilled and the motions didn’t make sense. He managed a few good hits, including one that Steve was sure had broken bones in his ribs when The Guardian ducked, spun, and managed to catch Steve in his side.
But Steve was still a scrappy kid from Brooklyn that learned quick, and he found that The Guardian relied far too much on his size and bulk, and was not used to fighting someone who wasn’t incapacitated after a few hits. Steve started ducking his blows, his smaller body moving faster and the shield helping him to block as he finally started to understand the way the man threw his weight around.
The Guardian let out a frustrated bellow as another punch missed, but was quickly silenced by a well-timed punch by Steve across his jaw.
The Red Guardian paused, stepping back, and smiled as he ran his hand over his jaw. “We are matched!” he growled out, slow and dark. “No man is match for my power, my strength, but you!” He laughed again, this time his eyes narrowing with calculation. “You are truly the only adversary to give me challenge.”
The Guardian charged again, and Steve stepped out of the way, but the Guardian swung his arm out and picked Steve up, spinning him and slamming him hard to the ground. Steve rolled and lifted his shield, just in time to block a punch from the Guardian. The man yelled in pain, the vibranium absorbing the power and his knuckles cracking hard against the metal.
Steve swung his legs around and swept the Guardian’s feet out from under him, setting the man on his back. Steve jumped back up, intending to punch him, when he saw the man reach out and pull the briefcase back into his hands. He rolled and jumped up, a few feet away now.
“No, no, no!” He teased, swinging the briefcase at Steve. “I have the codes.”
“He doesn’t have the codes, sir.” Came the fuzzy voice in his ear.
“What?” Steve asked, straightening up and pressing his hand to his earpiece to set it deeper and get a better sound.
“He doesn’t have the codes, Sir,” the agent in his ear repeated. “He has President Regan’s food and housing preferences. Nuclear codes are still secure.”
The Red Guardian, however, hadn’t noticed Steve wasn’t talking to him. “I have the codes,” he teased, swinging the briefcase back and forth, “And your forces will be no match for the wave of blood that will take over your land when we are victorious!”
“What about…” Steve didn’t get to finish the question, one eye on The Guardian’s boastful dance that was supposed to be taunting and one ear on the voice of the agent.
“SHIELD headquarters just radioed in, reported that the Soviet Union’s actual attempt on the Able Archer files was unsuccessful. Director Carter says, and I quote, to let him go and please get home for dinner.”
“Copy that,” Steve replied. He stood tall and let his shield drop, lifting his head in challenge to the other man. “Let’s get this moving along, Guardian. I’ve got a roast in the oven.”
“A roast—” The Guardian looked confused at first, then he started laughing, great big guffaws that almost doubled him over. “Funny man. And Apple Pie for dessert, hum?”
Steve eyed the corner of the room where the Shield Agents were still standing and tipped his head towards the exit. The leader questions him silently, but Steve signaled again and he watched as they left.
The Guardian didn’t miss a beat, even through his laughs. “Ahhh, yes. You clear the field. Now is time for real fighting.”
Steve braced again as the man ran at him full speed, letting the shield take the brunt of the impact and then turning swiftly, locking an arm around the man’s neck. Steve hoped to choke him enough to get him to pass out, then make a quick getaway. The Guardian, however, was not a slight man, and finding the right spot to put pressure on as he flailed under him was proving more difficult than Steve thought.
Steve managed a sharp knee in the Guardian’s kidney, dropping him to his knees, and just when he thought he hand him, The Guardian managed to flip him over his head.
They both stood, taking a deep breath. The Guardian stepped closer, laughing, and grabbed hold of Steve’s shield with two hands like it was a steering wheel. “A test of strength, yes?”
The man started pushing, and initially Steve pushed back, causing an impasse where they were simply straining against one another, but then Steve managed to get a glimpse behind him to the wall of windows the man was pushing him towards.
He’d seen what was under those windows.
It wasn’t great, but it would do.
Slowly, he let up the pressure he was exerting on the Guardian, the man smiling triumphantly as Steve started sliding back. Steve called up every ounce of acting talent he had, from the USO show to pretending he couldn’t lift Mjölnir, to every time he’d had to make up an excuse to his children about why Peggy was missing Family Dinner night, and scrunched up his face like he was pushing as hard as he could.
“What?” The Guardian asked, “You cannot best me in just strength?” He chuckled. “I am bigger, and I am stronger, Captain America!”
Steve couldn’t believe those stupid radio plays were going to come in handy, but having been forced to listen to them by Peggy, the cheesy line that popped into his head was too good to not use. “You may be stronger than me, but you’ll never love your country more than I love America, Red Guardian! Truth, Justice, and the American way!”
Steve remembered, just a moment after that, when he was falling out of the ten-story window, that the last part hadn’t been the Captain America Adventure Hour, but rather from the Superman comics. He didn’t think the oaf would notice.
He spun and twisted, putting the shield under him just in time to make contact with the solid concrete of the courtyard. He rolled slowly, the wind knocked out of him, and made it to his hands and knees.
He looked up, just in time to see Red Guardian triumphantly waving his briefcase full of lunch menus before disappearing into the hotel.
He slowly pushed himself up off the pavement, standing tall and feeling the sharp pains of broken bones and a battered body. He was met by the SHIELD Team, who seemed astounded he was alive after that fall.
“Sir, are you- should I call an ambulance?”
“I’m fine,” Steve replied, moving carefully back towards the base of operations. “Just get me on a plane home.”
“The Director…” the agent mumbled, nervous. “She said to let him go?”
“He thinks he has what he wanted. He shouldn’t bother you again.” Steve winced and shifted, biting his lip as he felt a rib pop back into place. “I’d like to get back to the plane as quickly as possible, please.”
“Yes, sir.”
~*~
Peggy heard the bike’s motor cut out and met him at the back door. He was tired, but smiled and met her lips with his, anyway. “Sorry you had to miss dinner.”
“No, you were right.” He stepped into the kitchen, setting the shield by the door and sitting to take his boots off. He moved slowly, gingerly. “He was a very large, very angry idiot.” Steve leaned back, tossing his boots to the floor. He closed his eyes and sighed. “That’s not as easy as it once was, you know.”
“I know, my love.” Peggy smoothed his hair and dropped a kiss on his head as his eyes fluttered shut. “Did you sleep on the transport?”
“No, couldn’t.” He sat up, cleared his throat, and started pulling apart the zips and snaps to his tac uniform. “The kids asleep?”
Peggy set her mug down and helped him shrug out of the long-sleeved top. “Hours ago. It’s nearly two in the morning, you know.”
“Didn’t realize it was so late. Came right home. Why aren’t you asleep?” He asked, glancing over at the clock that was ticking away the middle of the night.
She let her hands rub over his shoulders. “Couldn’t. Kept wondering what that brute had done to you and Howard won’t let me back on base until tomorrow.”
Steve shook his head. “How does he even know I’m alive, anyway?”
Peggy laughed, moving over to the sink and pouring him a large glass of water. “Quite the opposite, really. I’m told no one can convince him you’re supposed to be dead.” She brought it over and watched as he drank the whole thing down in greedy gulps, little rivulets falling over his chin. “He seems to think you are great rivals or some such, and if he isn’t the one to kill you, then you can’t be dead.”
Steve held out the glass and Peggy quickly refilled it, watching as he took slower sips this time. Steve finally took a pause to take a breath. “But he wasn’t… he wasn’t even…”
Peggy laughed and sat across from him, sipping her own tea and wrapping her robe tight around her. “I know. It’s why I stand beside my assessment of him as an idiot.” She hummed happily. “How did you fare?”
“Fell out a ten-story window. Haven’t done that in a while.” He winced and shifted his ribs. “Maybe a cracked rib or two, but nothing that won’t be healed by morning.”
“Good thing Howard was lying when he said that first shield was all the vibranium he had.” Steve nodded and they were quiet for a moment, still gulping away at the water like he was dry as a desert. Worry fell over her face, but she knew better than to coddle him. “I do think he’ll continue to be a problem.”
Steve winced again and rolled his shoulder in the socket. “They’re using him as a distraction. If they think it works, he’ll be back. How’d the tac team fair?”
“They stopped the data breach before it could happen, but we lost half a data storage facility to fire and two agents were wounded.” She smiled at him, switching gears. “Are you hungry?”
He rolled his neck and smiled. “Starved, but I can fix something.” He reached out and put a hand over hers. “Go to bed.”
“No,” She took his hand and kissed his knuckles, a smile on her face. “No, it’s already warming in the oven. I had the tower call down when you landed so it could be ready.”
“Peg…” He was somewhat chiding, but smiled when she pulled the dish out and set it in front of him. “You didn’t have to.”
“And you don’t have to come out of retirement to save the world, and my ass, on a fairly regular basis, but you manage it and I’m very grateful.” She kissed the crown of his head once more before settling back in front of her tea. “I can manage to wait up for my husband and make sure he gets dinner.”
“Were the kids disappointed?” He asked, putting an impossibly large spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth.
“No, not terribly,” she smiled softly. “Though I do think they were a bit amused that it was you and not me that missed family dinner night for a change.”
They were quiet as Steve made his way around the plate, finally cutting into the slices of roast. He moaned as he chewed. “I might be really tired, but this is just amazing. That new rub I found…” He stopped when he saw Peggy grimace. “What?”
“Mr. Jarvis threw yours out and started from scratch.” She tried to be delicate, but Steve frowned anyway. “I believe the words he used were ‘abomination’ and “disgrace,’ respectively.”
Steve chewed thoughtfully. “Well, it’s good, and I can try that—"
Peggy set her hand on his wrist, dead serious. “Cinnamon has no place on a roast, Steve.”
“It’s supposed to bring out the—”
“I will divorce you.” Her deadpan delivery slowly melted into a smile for both of them. “Please stop experimenting.”
He shrugged, knowing it was a losing game. “Do you think if we keep telling Jarvis that I’m trying to cook, he’ll make us more like this?”
“I believe if we tell Mr. Jarvis you’re still experimenting in the kitchen, he and Ana will take the children and run.”
Steve finished what was on his plate and smiled. “We haven’t had a vacation just the two of us in a while, wouldn’t be the worst thing…”
Peggy laughed and gave him a gentle smack across the shoulder as she took his plate from him and set it in the sink. “While I agree we should be planning a getaway, I would very much like to keep my children.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Steve teased, stepping up behind her as she washed the dish. He wrapped his arms around her and let his head rest on her shoulder. “I do kinda like them.”
Peggy tuned off the tap and set the dish to dry. “Yes, agreed. We shall keep them.” She turned in his arms and kissed him gently. “Now hit the showers, soldier. You’re quite filthy and I will not have you in my bed like this.” She pushed him away and turned him towards the stairs. “And this time I’ll thank you to not put the filthy tactical gear in the same dirty linen basket as my good blouses. A garbage bag will do very nicely.”
“Yes ma’am.” He saluted over his shoulder to her, smiling as he marched up the stairs.
She locked the door and shut the kitchen light. She hadn’t wanted to pull the shield out of retirement, but something about the way it sat, glinting in the moonlight in her kitchen, gave her a warm feeling.
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cupid’s Blind Eye | Of Eternity and Euphoria (3)
Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader
Summary: A demigod looking for love meets the god of love himself.
Warnings: N/A. This might be the fluffiest one so far. wait I lied it’s not fluffy at all. It’s really angsty. I’m sorry.
Word Count: 5.4k words
A/N: I have a lot of ideas for this series. So much so, I’m ignoring my other series. Like Hamartia and The Pact which I was s u p p o s e d to start by now. Smh this is what happens when I have too many ideas. I’m planning a spin off series for a Male!reader for this...I also wanted to tie this more into the overarching plot, but it’s okay, I’ll get you more park jimin okay. Consider me your supplier.
AS:ASJFLKWJQ:W it deleted my first draft >:(
Other:
Series Masterlist
Normal Masterlist
Love looks not with the eyes,
but with the mind;
and therefore is winged cupid
painted blind - William Shakespeare
-
-
Your knees hurt already. It had been all of 15 minutes, but the gravel under your legs wasn’t exactly comfortable. You had spent the last hour praying for the god of love to show himself and you fell to your knees desperately in the last 15.
“Oh, god of love.” You drawled sarcastically, ready to leave the dilapidated altar. “Answer my prayers.” You practically rolled your eyes, sick of this nonsense.
You stood slowly, realizing he probably wasn’t going to show himself any time soon. You swiped the gravel off your knees, not noticing the presence behind you.
“You should know not to be so disrespectful to your gods, darling.” A sly voice called. You froze. No way. When you turned to look, a man leaned against the pillars of the altar. He radiated lust and love, an inhuman aura. There was no doubt this was the god of love, lust, and passion.
And unlike him, you radiated a sort of pure aura; compared to him, of course. It drove him mad.
“Oh.” You were at a loss for words. His build was literally of the gods and his face, oh his face. You couldn’t find a single flaw in his face. From his adorable nose to his plump lips. You found yourself staring at his features for way longer than necessary. He smirked. This was a typical response to his appearance.
“Why do you seek me out?” He stepped forward, peering into your eyes.
“I want to know my soulmate.” You clenched your fists. Everyone you knew already found theirs. Your friend, Jennie, had explained that the god of love had helped her, but you didn’t believe her. You thought she was pulling your leg. The god quirked his head to the side.
“Why do you need to know that?”
“Because I’m sick of being alone.” You admitted, mouth feeling awfully dry as you nervously shifted from foot to foot.
His gaze softened, heart thumping.
“You won’t be alone forever.”
“It feels like it sometimes.”
“You’re a demigod.” It suddenly clicked. Your blatant disrespect of the gods, the odd aura surrounding you. Almost godly, but not quite. Not many demigods had a good connection to the gods. They were often cast aside, looked over, thought of as wannabes when many just wanted to live their lives. His altar wasn’t any different than the other crumbled ones around, the only indicator was the Greek letters above, but only a demigod would be able to read that.
“And you’re a god. I’ve come to learn that it doesn’t matter who you are, we all die in the end.” You frowned, thinking of your godly parent, one that had faded a long time ago, sentenced to eternal darkness for the atrocity of giving birth to you. However, being a demigod came with its perks. As long as you stayed healthy, you had longer lifespans while staying youthful. You had stopped aging around 25, but now you were around 60. You would likely begin aging around 100 and then die around 200. You had lived a long life so far without finding love. At first you thought it was possible, but as the years went on, no one gave you that spark, that burning sensation, that claimed them as your soulmate.
“Listen.” You sighed, “I just want to know if they exist. I’ve spent years searching and I thought fate was supposed to bring us together. Are they to be born in another timeline? Shall we never meet?”
The god of love frowned at your lack of faith in him as a god. He stepped forward, close enough for you to make out his face in detail. He radiated love, lust, and passion. His eyes were intense, but you didn’t find yourself scared. In fact, it was almost comforting. He was the definition of love.
“Do you have so little faith in me? Fate has brought you here.” He gently reached out and touched your shoulder. He just needed to check. It was silly to think that the god of love, could not seem to find his lover. There. That spark, that burn. It spread like a wildfire, consuming your everything. It felt like your atoms had rearranged, yearning to be completed by him.
You couldn’t do anything except stare at him. There was no way you were fated to one of the gods whom you so dearly despised. The gods had abandoned you as a child. Was this some cruel punishment? He softened his expression, taking in your frustrated form. Scared, worried, and anxious were reactions he expected from his soulmate, but anger was not one.
“I don’t have to be with you, you know?” You said bitterly. “I can choose to stay away. Not all soulmates stay together.”
Your words clearly had an effect on him because he nodded and stepped away. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion and hurt flashed across his face.
“I won’t force you to join me, but please reach out if you change your mind. You know where to find me.” He gestured to the altar. He, out of everyone, knew that you could put two perfect people next to each other in a room, but you couldn’t force them to love each other. Love was a tricky thing and Jimin knew it best. “Just ask for Jimin.”
Then he was gone, the wind seemingly taking him away. You rushed forward, looking for that sneaky god, but you couldn’t locate him. You had to admit you felt bad about reacting that way. He didn’t expect this either. With a sigh, you called out to the stones. “I’m Y/N. Lovely to meet you, Jimin.”
And of course he heard you. His eyes trailed your back as you ran back into your small town. It was one of the last towns who truly believed in the gods, that’s why so many had altars up. A smile made his way onto his face. Now it was just wait and see.
-
-
“Oh come on. You are way too boring, Jimin.” The fiance (I’m sorry I don’t have accents on this computer >:( ) of Yoongi rolled her eyes.
“___, You must understand, love just doesn’t work like that, You have to let it happen.”
“I bet she wants you to chase after her.” ___ continued. “Here, invite her to the wedding. She can be your plus one!”
“You’re too kind. I fear she may be afraid of the underworld.”
“Didn’t you say she’s a demigod?” Yoongi’s fiance quirked her head to the side. She was a human before a goddess. She had no bias against demigods and Jimin felt she was the best to approach about his encounter.
“Yes.”
“Then I doubt she’ll even bat an eye at the underworld.” She viewed her nails, thanking the workers and standing from the salon. “You came all the way to the human world just so you could whine about your love life to the goddess of the underworld. Seems right.”
Jimin scoffed, crossing his arms defensively. He was at a loss for words, however, and he bit his lip. “I came to you because she seems more human than god and I wanted to know your experience.”
“Well, Yoongi basically kidnapped me, but not really. I just knew I wanted to go with him. Then he and I hit it off from there. I fought with Taehyung, stirred up some shit, and now I’m going to be the downfall of Olympus.”
The other gods didn’t like her joking about the downfall of Olympus, but Jimin could always laugh.
“At least my nails will look good while it happens, yeah?”
The love god laughed along with her and the two walked over to the park. The park, known as Plyosum Park, was a great hotspot of godly energy. It was the quickest and easiest way to get to Olympus.
“Now, I must be going.” She smiled, “But, have you ever thought, Jimin, that she’s no more human than she is god? Maybe she just wants to be treated as the person she is; a demigod. That’s why I don’t think I can help you much. I wish you luck, however.” She sent a small wave to him before ghostly hands reached up and dragged her under.
Jimin sighed. She had a point. He’ll just treat you like any person. He let his wings grow out as he prepared to travel back to Olympus. They were a feathery white with golden flakes scattered in between. Many called him cupid for this, but he preferred the name Eros.
-
-
You opened the letter with caution. It had appeared on your desk when you arrived home and it definitely hadn’t been there before. The handwriting looked familiar, though you couldn’t place your finger on it.
Dear Y/N,
I am writing to you today because the god and goddess of the underworld are getting married. They have requested I bring along someone and of course my first thoughts were of you. It would be lovely if you are able to join me, but it’s quite alright if you don’t feel comfortable. Please consider my offer, but I will not hold it against you if you choose not to come.
Best,
Jimin
You had to chuckled at his formal phrasing, but you couldn’t blame him. He wanted to give you space and you respected him for being so cautious to your boundaries. It wasn’t expected of the god. After all, he was a god. He could have just kidnapped you on the spot. Maybe he just understands love doesn’t work like that. That made more sense. You carefully wrote back.
My dearest Jimin,
�� I would be honored to attend such a momentous occasion. Sadly, I seem to be at a lack of formal wear suitable for this kind of event, what do you suggest?
Best,
Y/N
Of course you had to shoot back with your own formal tone. You hoped he understood the sarcasm in it as you hiked to the only place you knew he visited. His altar was old, crumbling, very un-beautiful for the most beautiful god you knew. Then you remembered that you would be meeting many beautiful gods and goddesses in a short time.
You placed the far messier letter down at his altar and hurried back to the village. Jimin was waiting, hoping to catch you, but you were gone before he could even speak. He bent down and slowly picked up the letter. He hastily tore it open, smiling fondly at your words. It was a shame he didn’t get to see you properly before you rushed off.
It was in your nature, as a demigod, to be skiddish around most things; though you seemed to have more of a fight in you than other demigods. The issue was that demigods didn’t fit in anywhere. The gods despised them and regarded them as abominations, hybrids, wannabes. The humans weren’t much better, fearing anything they considered other. Demigods would rarely be able to rest without being hunted by one group or another.
Jimin looked to the middle distance, thinking about what outfit would best suit you. He wanted you to fit in with the other gods and goddesses. While he was a great believer in “love is love” other gods may try to bring you down simply because you were a demigod. It made him feel ill to think of what terrible things could come your way because of your mother’s mistake, not that you were a mistake. He mentally scolded himself. He was constantly on the fritz of checking himself and making sure he said the right things.
He shook his head, returning to his place in the clouds.
-
-
When there was a knock at your door, you jumped in surprise. It was not often that the village people visited you. You lived a lonely existence, but you decided this was fine.
“For: Y/N.” You read carefully, surveying the package on your doorstep. You glanced around, eyes flicking to the house next door and traveling down the empty road. Hurriedly, you grabbed the package and hauled it inside your house, slamming the door shut.
The box was more of a rectangle. It was long and flat and there was no return address. You had a feeling you knew who had delivered it. You walked to the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors. Then you approached the package, unsure of how to open it. If this was what you thought it was, you didn’t want to damage it. You gnawed at your lip, brows furrowed in concentration as you painstakingly cut through the thin strips of tape. This is ridiculous, just rip it open. You couldn’t bring yourself to do that, however. You didn’t want to rip the contents. So you continued your work before the box flaps finally undid themselves.
Your breath caught in your throat as you looked at the dress. It was a light pink, an innocent color. You rushed to your room to try it on. Of course it fit perfectly. It had a tight bodice, hugging the upper half of your body in a flattering way. Then the rest of the material flowed from the bodice. Layers of tulle and silk fluttered to the ground. In the box also came a delicate silver crown, headband, thing. The silver was twisted into delicate branches that curved every which way, forming a sort of bramble. It looked so elegant and graceful. The accessories that came with the dress included silver earrings and bracelets. The most important was a necklace. It was an graceful, thin, silver chain, but at the bottom it was weighed down by a light pink gemstone. It seemed to glow, like a beating heart. You didn’t expect anything less from the god of love. You were stunning.
You couldn’t wait to wear it to the wedding in a few days. Jimin would surely be impressed. You found yourself blushing girlishly at the thought of impressing him. You wanted him to want you. To see his eyes light up when you entered a room. To kiss him. You gently placed your fingers on your lips, thinking of his plush ones on yours. You knew he would oblige you if you asked, but you had only met the once and the soulmate bond was inexplicably strong already. You were worried it would consume you if you let it. Would you still be standing if it did?
-
-
Days go by and now you stand at his altar. It’s desolate, looking lonelier than ever before. You shift nervously, having done your makeup to reflect the lightness you were sure he wanted to portray. You knew he was trying to get the other gods to like you and you were still wary of meeting them. However, you promised yourself that you would try, even if the other immortals didn’t. You didn’t want to pace, having already painstakingly made sure your dress wasn’t muddied on the way up. Where is he?
You were beginning to worry. Little did you know, Jimin was freaking out. He was pacing and getting far too worked up for a god.
“Hyung! What if-what if she gets scared and doesn’t want to see me again?” He whined to the sky god. He strutted up and down the hallway that led to his altar. He knew you were there, he could feel it, he just couldn’t bring himself to step through.
“Jiminie, she’s a demigod, she’ll be okay.” Jin squeezed his younger friend’s shoulder. Jimin had trusted Jin enough to tell him about you. He thought of telling Namjoon, longing for the elder’s advice more than anything, but there was something sneaky about that god that held him off.
“What if she doesn’t like me?”
“Why would she show up if she wasn’t interested?”
Jimin ran a hand through his hair and Jin could tell he was about to complain more so he stepped in.
“Hey, you’ll be okay.” He said softly, pushing the god of love towards the door. Who knew that such a suave man was so...scared of love? “If you’re worried about jumping off the deep end and drowning,” Jin had heard that falling for your soulmate often felt that way. “Then it’ll be okay. You’ll learn how to breathe underwater.”
The elder god then took the, now quiet, god by the shoulders and steered him down the hallway. The god of love took one heavy step after another. “Go, you’ll be late otherwise and that won’t do any good to lighten the other gods’ positions on her.” Jin said, almost scolding. The younger god just kept his mouth shut, nodding way too easily to his friend.
“Wait, Hyung-”
“Go.”
Then he was shoved through the doorway.
-
He stumbled straight into you, hands reflexively reaching out to stable you. You gasped in surprise, heat rising to your cheeks.
“Jimin! I thought you weren’t coming.” You said in a huff. The god stood there sheepishly, scratching his head.
“Right, I’m so sorry, I was...” Honesty is the best in any relationship. “...I was nervous.”
You tilted your head to the side. Usually it was the other way around with all the assholes you’d dated in the past. They were always entitled, never asking you about anything.
“Oh, I see.” You said awkwardly. “Well, it’s getting late.” You drifted off. Then you noticed him staring at you. Your cheeks flushed pink again at his gaze. It was intense, searching, as it took in your outfit. You heard him let out a soft breath.
“You look...ravishing.” He breathed, finally putting into words how he felt. But nothing could describe how you looked. You looked like a goddess. Perfection, beauty, grace, intelligence, all in one. He swallowed, trying to keep himself in check. He held out his hand, “Well?”
You hesitated, looking at his soft hands. Hands that had never worked a day in their lives. You cautiously place your hands in his and he pulled you close.
“Let’s go.” He murmured. How he managed to make two words sound so enticing was lost on you.
-
-
“Pleasure to meet you, Ms...?” The goddess in front of you purred, holding out her hand. She somehow made it seem condescending. You and Jimin had been glued to the hip since you arrived, but he had briefly left to get drinks, leaving you to fend for yourself. Every god and goddess in the room was intrigued by you. You just kept thinking back to how extravagant the ceremony had been, but you had been more taken with how gracious the bride was. She was so bright compared to the god of the underworld, but somehow they got along.
“Y/N.” You smiled, your lips pressed together. You looked, and in someways were, like a goddess, but everyone knew there was something different. Your impostor syndrome was driving you mad.
“Right.” The feline-like goddess strolled away. You turned, trying to ignore the headache you had, only to bump into another god. He looked startled, jumping back quickly. He had an airy quality of innocence and bright light around him. He was handsome, devilishly so.
“Oh! I’m so sorry.” You exclaimed genuinely, looking at the god with confusion. He had this air of familiarity about him that you couldn’t quite place.
“No, no, it was my fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” He said shyly. Then an arm wrapped around your waist, a drink being handed to you softly. The man before you got visibly more pale at the sight of the god holding you. He didn’t seem scared, just sad, maybe even heartbroken. “Oh, I see.” He nodded quietly, mood doing a whole 180.
Jimin grimaced as he watched the other man retreat. He felt his heart strings tug, but pushed the pained feeling away. You could sense the tension so you carefully unwrapped yourself, taking his hands.
“Let’s dance.” You said softly. You weren’t sure what just happened, but it didn’t feel like your place to pry. As you place your hands on his shoulders and he planted his firmly on your waist, he let out a sigh.
“I know you’re curious, you can’t hide things from me.” He glanced around as you both blended into the crowd of other couples slow dancing. “That was Agape.”
You nodded slowly. That’s why you felt so familiar. Anyone who was close to Eros understood Agape well.
“Is that was he goes by?” You knew Agape to be the innocent love, the first love, and Eros to be a more sexual love, one filled with desire. You also knew that Jimin didn’t go by Eros, he went by Jimin. People often got him mixed up with Agape, claiming him as cupid, but Agape usually handled first love scenarios.
“No.” He said quietly, as if losing his will to speak. “He... he goes by-” He suddenly cut himself off. “Actually, he doesn’t like it when people refer to him by his real name. Just know that I like you now. You don’t need to worry about him.”
You frowned, eyebrows knitting together. “I never thought he would take you away from me? I was just interested.”
“Ah, yeah, there’s been...tension.” He didn’t give you any more explanation so you sought to change the topic.
“Tell me about the other gods.”
He seemed glad to change subjects. Instead, he told you about Seokjin, the friendly sky god who knew of your predicament. Then he went on about his Taehyungie, Kookie, and then his hyungs. You smiled warmly at all his fond remarks, discussing them as if they were his blood relatives. It humanized them, though you weren’t sure if that was intentional on his part. You had just warmed up to the idea of meeting these gods when someone screamed.
-
-
It wasn’t a happy scream. It was a blood curdling, ear piercing, shriek. A goddess ran from the entryway, clearly alarmed. You jumped and Jimin’s hold on you tightened.
You could see Taehyung pull his lover closer and Yoongi pushed his wife behind him. Other gods were taking defensive stances, eyeing the goddess warily. She was obviously a low level god, her aura faint and you were sure she was to die out soon. Seokjin carefully approached her like a wounded animal. Being the oldest, he had this responsibility; to meet all threats to his circle with full force.
“Ah, Ms. Lee, what troubles you today?”
The entire room stilled, watching Ms. Lee carefully. Seokjin spoke calmly, but there was a fierceness to his voice, a demanding power.
“We’re under attack up above. They’ll be here any minute!” She was inconsolable. You gripped Jimin’s arm and he held you impossibly closer. And attack? By who? The enemies of the gods were long gone and any god who tried to cause trouble was sure to be eliminated quickly. All the gods seemed troubled except a certain war god.
“Great! Then we’ll go to war!” He shouted, anger in his voice. Being the war god, you were sure it was his natural voice. Jimin started radiating a more dominating aura. You realized then that he had hidden most of it as to not freak you out. Now he glowed a luminescent light pink. You knew he was quite literally a lover, not a fighter.
“Now, now, how do we know this isn’t just a set up?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, clearly not wishing to discuss war on his wedding night.
“Well either way we’d still be under attack.” The girl beside Taehyung breathed. She had a point, you couldn’t deny that. Jungkook’s eyes met briefly with Taehyung’s lover and you could almost see the spark of tension despite being a little ways away. Taehyung put himself between the two subtly. You had a feeling there was a story there.
“Jimin?” Your voice was a whisper as to not break the very thin surface tension of the room. He squeezed your hand in response to tell you he was listening. “Are we in danger?” Your heart beat rapidly. You knew you were the most human here. You were strong, but you wouldn’t last a second against a god. Okay, scratch that, you might last two seconds, being a demigod, but you were still severely disadvantaged. You didn’t want to a) be a burden and b) be killed.
“I’ll keep you safe, love.” He murmured quietly, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the top of your head. You felt your body heat up, wishing those lips to be on yours. You just nodded along, not trusting yourself to say anything else. Then there was a bang outside and the sound of the guards running. You turned to him. eyes wide.
Taehyung was already pushing his lover and Yoongi’s wife together, having another god usher them somewhere safe. You paused, wanting to join them. You even saw Yoongi’s wife turn and look at you expectantly. All the gods and goddesses who valued their lives were running. There was another bang and it was chaos. Those who had been frozen in place were now running and those who wished to fight were materializing their weapons. Jimin looked between you and the door, clearly debating. You gently pushed him towards his friends, knowing he wouldn’t want to leave his brothers.
Then you pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. He flushed red.
“Maybe you’ll get a kiss on the lips if you come back unscathed.” You joked, winking playfully as if he wasn’t about to go out and face...whatever was behind that entryway door. He didn’t respond, just nodding firmly. You rushed to join the other two women who were considered V.I.P.s because of their status and relationships to the inner circle. As you were ushered out of the room, you heard the door burst open and you prayed Jimin was safe.
-
-
You shivered, the dress not doing any good to keep you warm. The women beside you had hardly spoken a word to you except one, who was the bride herself. She had introduced herself to you and then gone quiet. Obviously, she was worried for her new husband. The other woman was shaking like a leaf. You were surprised the relationship between her and Taehyung worked, but you knew love worked in mysterious ways. The bride offered you a small smile, pulling off her pristine white cardigan and handing it to you. You thanked her lowly before resuming your staring contest with the wall.
It was a nice room, a library somewhere even more underground than the underworld. The goddess of the Earth was obviously more wary of you than the one of the underworld. Though, from what Jimin had briefed you on, she had once been a human too. You were all worried sick for your loved ones, of course. No one could think of much else. The constant shouting was driving you over the edge. You just wanted some peace and quiet.
Having always been introverted, you didn’t enjoy crowds for long periods of time. Keeping to yourself and staying out of the way was the best. As much as you disliked the gods, you and the women in the room were sharing a bond. A bond of fear. You were quite the opposite from Jimin in that way. He was a very social person, always going out of his way to talk to people, his words always smooth and graceful. You, on the other hand, were just...there. You stumbled over your words, rambled, and had trouble concealing your emotions as well as him.
There was a knock on the door. You all looked at each other, eyes wide and waiting for the password to be spoken. There was none. It’s not them. You mouthed. The door flew open before you had time to react. You counted your seconds. Two seconds against a god. You had two seconds.
You were just confused, however, when you were met with a familiar face.
“Mom?”
-
-
The long forgotten goddess didn’t even flinch at the anger in your expression, nor the tears that betrayed your pain. It was all too much. She had changed so much. Once the goddess of wisdom, the original goddess long before Namjoon, she held herself with grace. But her frame all bones, no fat, her face was gaunt, and she looked liked she had just walked out of a halloween store. Your breath caught in your throat as she grasped your arm, hard enough to cause a whimper of pain. The other women were forced to follow along as well.
She escorted you out to the ballroom. You felt yourself go pale, stomach dropping to the floor as you surveyed the room. Blood, everywhere. You couldn’t tell whose was whose. Gods are gods, but they bleed. And when they die, they must wait to be reborn once more. You felt your heart clench, seeing the inner circle on their knees. They looked defeated. Seokjin was comforting a sobbing girl, only to have her ripped away and whisked somewhere else. This made the elder god snarl, but he stopped almost immediately after looking at their captors. And who wouldn’t?
They were ghastly creatures, looking like demons out of a novel of pain and horror. Some of them had melted skin, others had hollow faces and haunting stares. All brandished with various “K”s on their bodies. You noticed your mother had one on the side of her neck. The gods were arguing with someone, but you couldn’t make out everything, the argument in full on Greek. Then there was a loud cough. Your mother threw forth the other two girls first. You watched Taehyung and Yoongi’s eyes go wide, before going back, completely feral, to arguing. Then your mother pulled you in close.
“Y/N.” She said coldly, despite her seemingly motherly embrace. “You have disappointed me greatly, I pray Kronos spares you.” Her lips were a thin line as she threw you to the ground too. You tripped over the debris and landed on your hands and knees. You looked up, meeting the eyes of Jimin.
You saw a quiet fury. You knew Jimin was diplomatic, he wouldn’t yell, but you could feel his anger from across the room. He mouthed ‘I love you’. And you frowned a little. This was not where you wanted to be confessed to. You wanted him to say to you, alone, and secluded. You selfishly wanted that. Now the enemy had stolen your first I Love Yous as well.
“Put her with the others.” You understood that part. The masked leader gestured to an underling who unceremoniously dragged you over to the other women. You huddled together as they shoved you into a cage with the crying girl from earlier. Yoongi’s wife wasn’t crying, but she did seem to be in a state of shock. Taehyung’s lover was crying, trying to conceal her sniffles. You gently shrugged off the cardigan from earlier, handing it to her. She took it quickly, hiding her face. You even heard the smallest thank you. Underlings surrounded you like specimen, watching you like you were zoo animals.
“Yoongi!” The bride called out, panicked. You felt it too. There was something bad coming. Then the cage moved and you felt nauseated from the sudden movement. You panicked fully for the first time. Where were they taking you?
“Jimin!” You screeched, hand stretching out. His eyes widened farther.
“Y/N!” He called back, fighting the restraints and lunging towards the cage.
Taehyung’s girlfriend sobbed loudly and Taehyung looked over, concern evident as he struggled to reach out, mental focus just on getting to his lover.
“I love you!” You cried. “Please look for us, don’t give up on us.” Came out your broken plea.
“I’ll search the ends of the universe just to see your face, Y/N.” You heard him say. The underlings restrained him and you sat back, feeling defeated already. The others knew you weren’t a goddess and they immediately babied you, knowing your body to be far more fragile from theirs. Tae’s girlfriend shot you small smiles of encouragement and you did so in return. Yoongi’s wife rubbed your back and the third mystery woman remained silent as you were driven to gods know where.
-
-
Last minute A/N: OKAY OKAY I admit it, I didn’t give this...a great happy ending. BUT BUT BUT I promise you a happy ending in the future-
#bts#tatawrites#of eternity and euphoria#bts x reader#jimin#park jimin#jimin x reader#fluff#god!BTS#God!Jimin#Demigod!reader#love#proof reading is dead to me#I'll just fix it later if I have the guts to reread my work
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
3/1/21~5000 question survey 1-100 {CXV}
I started this about 2 years ago and never finished so I’m going to restart and see how far I can get. I’d love to get it done before the end of the year but I am definitely not holding myself to that statement haha. Here we go pt. 2
(also shoutout to @lovemesomesurveys for doing this so i could get the questions from one source. Thanks girl! <3!!
1. Who are you?
~my name is ragan
2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?
1. I am very outgoing and fun loving
2. I have a big heart but am not afraid to speak my mind
3. I hope I can one day pursue a career in fashion
3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing?
~hanging out with my friends, doing hw, eating, or talking to my bf haha
4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time).
~choir, drama appreciation, geology, american gov.
5. What is your biggest goal for this year?
~to begin to plan out “big girl things” in my life. i’ll be a freshman in college in the fall and i really wanna feel confident about my future(if that’s possible) so saving money, getting a real job, looking into new opportunities, etc. (if you have any advice, plz send my way haha:))
6. Where do you want to be in 5 years?
~to feel a little secure in my job or career pathway, or at least have a plan
7. What stage of life are you in right now?
~the ending of my teenage years :(
8. Are you more child-like or childish?
~neither honestly
9. What is the last thing you said out loud?
~i was singing along to a song haha
10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?
~8teen by khalid haha
11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes?
~nope
12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?
~it’s honestly one big rollercoaster. i have my good days and bad days but i try to keep a positive mindset:)
13. Does time really heal all wounds?
~it doesn’t necessarily heal it but it does help it some
14. How do you handle a rainy day?
~usually stay inside or take a nap. if it rains for a long period of time i tend to get a headache so i usually take a nap haha
15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights?
~losing luggage for sure
16. How is your relationship with your parents?
~pretty good. my dad and i are super close. my mom and i have our moments but i love her
Will you miss them when they are gone?
~are you kidding?!?! i don’t know how i’ll recover from losing them tbh
17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?
~for the most part yes; i’m pretty good at reading the room
18. What is the truest thing that you know?
~God.
19. What did you want to be when you grew up?
~gosh so many different things; teacher, pharmacist, reporter, author, family therapist, actress
20. Have you ever been given a second chance?
~yep
21. Are you more of a giver or a taker?
~both tbh
22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind?
~definitely
23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?
~i had to go to the hospital one time because my stomach was hurting so bad I thought i was gonna die. i don’t think anything except child birth could beat that
24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?
~some things my mom has said to me
25. Who have you hugged today?
~honestly no one :(
26. Who has done something today to show they care about you?
~i can’t think of anything but i’m sure there was something
27. Do you have a lot to learn?
~for sure. i don’t think we should ever stop
28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?
~how to start my own clothing brand, how to make straight a’s, and to cook perfectly
29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel?
~how they make me feel fo sure
30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?
~communication, loyalty, passion,
31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?
~have a successful job, find the love of my life, and travel the world
32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing?
~having to get divorced, letting down my future children, and emotionally traumatizing someone
33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?
~not a cause, but i’m a christain and that’s the truest thing in my life
34. What does each decade make you think of:
The 19..
20's: flapper dancers and the roaring 20s
30's: the great depression and poverty
40's: world war II and classic movies
50's: sock hops and diners
60's: iconic fashion and audrey hepburn
70's: my dad and classic rock
80's: the breakfast club and how much i wished i grew up then ahahah
90's: rnb and friends
2000 (so far): brittany spears and my early childhood
2010's: middle school and social media
35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why?
~the 80s because i’ve always felt like that was the decade for me. that’s when my mom grew up and i envy her so much for growing up then. but also the 2000s because that was my early childhood and its crazy to think i’ll never get those days back
36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song?
~stairway to heaven: led zeppelin
37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country?
~the usa and president biden
If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?
~you good homie?
38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?
~i rarely watch live tv
39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?
~bahah probs ursula because if i knew ariel could sing like that, i’d steal her voice too
40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?
~no
41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?
~neither but a boat in the middle of the ocean during a storm would be terrifying
42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?
~the sun?
43. What does your name mean?
~i just looked it up and apparently it means noble LMFAO
44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space?
~neither. both of those sound like a bad idea
45. Word association What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:
Air: traffic
Meat: steak
Different: breed
Pink: drink
Deserve: freedom
White: elephant
Elvis: graceland
Magic: treehouse
Heart: pump
Clash: boom
Pulp: fiction
46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?
~audrey hepburn 100%
47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive?
~jimmy garoppolo ;))
48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?
~not everyday but i’m always down for a lotr/hobbit marathon
49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do?
~a phone with some kind of wifi box so i can gtfo lmao
50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved?
~uhhhh not that i can think of
51. Make up a definition for the following silly words...
Fruitgoogle: a website you can search up fruits with
Ambytime: free time
Asscactus: an annoying person
52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?
~this little gift bag for my mom’s students
53. What was your favorite toy as a child?
~american girl dolls omfg
54. How many TV’s are in your house?
~3
55. What is your favorite thing to do outside?
~swimming or just being at the beach
56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow?
~awwwwww
57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true?
~i have dreamed about people and then met them which is a super weird experience
58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader?
~no
59. What is your idea of paradise?
~i think it would be a couple of different places or themes because i love to see the beauty in a lot of different ideas
60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like?
~absolutely. He’s just and loving
61. Do you believe in Hell?
~yes
62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't?
~i honestly cannot think of anything
63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?
~i’ve done some volunteer stuff for other people so ig something like that
64. Are you a patient person?
~i try to be
65. What holiday should exist but doesn't?
~free shopping day where only i can shop for free :))))))
66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does?
~i love all the holidays
67. What's the best joke you ever heard?
~apparently none because i can’t think of one
68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been?
~southpoint mall in charlotte. it was shopper’s heaven
69. Is your hair natural or dyed?
~all natural .
70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?
~none that are interesting
71. What is under your bed right now?
~dust and stuff from my childhood
72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home?
~gtfo bahaha
73. If you drive do you frequently speed?
~always
74. What is the world's best song to dance to?
~depends on what kind of dancing. any 2000s club song is an absolute banger
75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone?
~some tik tok sound. just a gen z kid here :)
76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers?
~probs disney
77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo?
~otters or tigers
78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?
~if i’m crazy about you, absolutely. .
79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off?
~ig lol
80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it?
~travel all over
81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick?
~i’m sorry that’s too stressful lol
82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? ~equator. i hate the cold
83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television?
~tv. i can’t live w/o music
84. What do you think makes someone a hero?
~being selfless
85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in?
~powderpuff girls 100%
86. Name one thing that turns your stomach:
~rats
87. What was the last thing you paid for?
~clothes from shein
88. Are you a coupon clipper?
~nah
89. Get anything good in the mail recently?
~not super recently
90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling?
~dancing
91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. So... Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends?
~no because the real person died, so it’s a clone but not the original
92. What insects are you afraid of?
~roaches and wasps
93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say?
~”she stressin’ over her wardrobe”
94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn?
~i have these huuuuge tiger earrings that are freaking extra. i wore them with green corduroy flair pants and a brown stripped shirt and literally looked like the 70s threw up on me hahah
95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be?
~chick fil a
96. What are your parents interested in?
~my mom loves 70s tv shows and christmas lol and my dad likes classic rock and anything to do with christianity
97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?
~we used to catch lightning bugs in a jar when i was little and put them in a jar.
98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans?
~uhhh plans....lol
99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest?
~when i’m hanging out with friends or at a high energy place like an amusement park or concert
100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring?
~water, a flashlight, and something for protection like a gun
1 note
·
View note
Note
Answer all of them. 1-170. have fun.
HELL YES LETS GOOOOOOOO
1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
5′2″. Exactly how tall I am now. I like being short.
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
I’ve always wanted a ferret. They can weed out people for me. If a person says “Ew, it’s a rat” then they ain’t worth my time.
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
Whatever’s on sale. Preferably baggy and comfortable
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
Always has been and always will be the Nancy Drew computer games. I’m obsessed. There are 32 games (we don’t talk about number 33), and I’ve played each one dozens of times.
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
My laptop, my dog, my tumblr account
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
Warning: Prone to spontaneous breakdowns, both physically and mentally.
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
Honest opinion on @Elizard-Hamilton, the person who sent this ask: They’re super sweet and kind, and probably the first reciprocal tumblr friendship I’ve ever had.
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
Don’t know what that is, too drunk to figure it out right now.
9: Are you ticklish?
God yes. But I retaliate. If you tickle me, you will die.
10: Are you allergic to anything?
No, that’s the one medical thing that I don’t have.
11: What’s your sexuality?
Hetero-Demi Sexual. So I like men, but I’m only sexually attracted to them if we’ve been close for a long time.
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
Cocoa, always. Specifically, Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate. Medium, 2 creams.
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
Dog. Always.
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
I answered this one already, definitely merperson.
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
Nope.
16: How tall are you?
See above.
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
I’d just add an L to my name. New name, pronounced the same.
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
Right now, 126 lbs. But I should be 110. I just got off a medication that made me gain 40 pounds practically overnight. I went from 100 pounds to 140 pounds. I’m slowing losing the weight.
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
Not in the traditional sense, but I do believe there are things about the departed we don’t yet understand. Kind of like way back when they though lightning was a supernatural event, until they found a scientific explanation for it. I think there’s stuff we just haven’t discovered yet.
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
Ocean.
21: Are you religious?
Nope, athiest.
22: Pet peeves?
Idk, I can’t think of any right now.
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
Wtf I don’t know? Who cares? I’d rather be whatever koalas are. They sleep 22 hours a day.
24: Favorite constellation?
The only one I can think of right now is big dipper. That makes it my favourite and also my least favourite constellation.
25: Favorite star?
See question 24, but North Star.
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
I don’t know what that is? Do you mean like Barbie? I litterally watching Barbie Nutcracker right now, lol.
27: Any phobias or fears?
Spiders.
28: Do you think global warming is real?
Duh.
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
No.
30: Favorite movie?
Does Hamilton count? If yes, that. If not, Knives Out. I’m a sucker for a good murder mystery.
31: Do you get scared easily?
Yes.
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
Oh god. Idk. You’re going to make me do math on vacation. Lets see. 3 Dogs, 2 Cats, ungodly numbers of fish, 2 rats, 5 hermit crabs, 3 hamsters, probably others I can’t remember.
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
@elizard-hamilton 10/10. 5 stars. Thumbs up. Gold Star.
34: What is a color that calms you?
Royal Purple. I used to have a bedroom where everything was royal purple. The walls, the furniture, the bedding, the accessories. Everything. It was a great time in my life, so the colour makes me think of good times.
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
I’d love to go to Belgium. My grandmother was born there, and we still have family over there that I’ve never met.
36: Where were you born?
London Ontario
37: What is your eye color?
Hazel
38: Introvert or extrovert?
Introvert
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
Not at all
40: Hugs or kisses?
None of the above. I have Asperger's, I don’t like to be touched.
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
I’d love to see my BFF from high school again. Haven’t talked to her since we graduated. Rachel, if you’re out there, I miss you.
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
My parents.
43: Any piercings you want?
None.
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
Nope. I don’t have anything against them, they’re just not for me. If you have them, I won’t think any less of you. There’s nothing wrong with them.
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?
Nope. I’ve already got really shitty lungs (I have Cystic Fibrosis), I’d rather not make them worse than they already are.
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
Oh gosh, he’s cute, funny, talented, a great singer, a great writer, he wrote a hit broadway musical... oh, he doesn’t count? Then no, no one right now.
47: What is a sound you really hate?
Styrofoam rubbing against more styrofoam.
48: A sound you really love?
The notification sound tumblr makes when I get something in my inbox
49: Can you do a backflip?
HA no.
50: Can you do the splits?
HA HA no.
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
Do I even need to answer this? I’m going to anyway. It’s..... drumroll........ Danny Devito! Lol, no, it’s Lin Manuel-Miranda
52: Favorite movie?
This is the same as question 30.
53: How are you feeling right now?
Drunk. Next question.
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
Purple. I used to have purple hair. Then I got older and got a real job and I’m not allowed to die my hair anymore.
55: When did you feel happiest?
At 16, with my purple hair and purple bedroom and my bff in like grade 11
56: Something that calms you down?
Hamilton
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
Asperger’s, Depression, situational anxiety.
58: What does your URL mean?
Every time is Hamiltime. Because it’s always time for Hamilton.
59: What three words describe you the most?
Bizarre, confrontational, idk. Is there a word that means unwilling to put up with anyone’s bullshit? Because if so, then that.
60: Do you believe in evolution?
Yes. Evolution is a fact, it’s been proven. So this question should not say do you believe in evolution, it should say do you accept evolution.
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
If they start posting stuff i disagree with, or if they totally veer into a new fandom I’m not interested in. I’ve lost so many good blogs to kpop.
62: What makes you follow a blog?
Idk, I like their stuff?
63: Favorite kind of person:
Kind people.
64: Favorite animal(s):
Pug.
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
I’m not going to start naming friends, cause I’ve got way more than three and I know I’m going to forget someone, so here’s 3 random blogs I enjoy: gmoringgnight, tinywhim, torsnavi
66: Favorite emoticon:
I’m on my laptop, i don’t have emoticons right now, but probably the one where he’s crying laughing
67: Favorite meme:
All of them. I love all the memes.
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
I’m too drunk to remember right now, ask me tomorrow.
69: What is your star sign?
Pisces
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
He cannot. He’s an idiot. But he can give you a high five, if that counts for something.
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
Leggings, T-Shirt, Hoodie. Whatever’s clean.
72: Post a selfie or two?
No
73: Do you have platform shoes?
No
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
I can solve a rubik’s cube
75: Can you do a front flip?
LOL NO
76: Do you like birds?
To look at, not to own or touch
77: Do you like to swim?
Very much. In the water, it’s the one place my back doesn’t hurt.
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
Swimming. I don’t skate. I know, oh wow, a Canadian who can’t skate. Sue me.
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
Trump.
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
Alex Clairmont-Diaz
81: Piercings you have?
My ears are pierced.
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
Reading
83: Favorite person to talk to:
My mom
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
Amazing, finally a place I can be as weird as I want and it’s totally anonymous.
85: How many followers do you have?
I have no idea.
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
HA no
87: Do your socks always match?
Yes
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
When I was 14, they did a surgery where they put metal rods in my spine to keep it from growing crooked. My spine doesn’t bend at all. So I’ve never tried to touch my toes, but I’m going to go with no, I can’t.
89: What are your birthstones?
I think Aquamarine? I don’t remember.
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
Koala. They sleep 22 hours a day.
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
I can’t think of any flowers right now beyond rose and tulip, and neither represent me. Is there a flower that’s really ugly? If so, that.
92: A store you hate?
Gap. I despise that store with every escence of my being.
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
None. It tastes like manure.
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
Ooh, fly. No more wheelchair.
95: Do you like to wear camo?
I don’t think i particularly like or dislike it. I just don’t wear it.
96: Winter or summer?
SUMMER ALL THE TIME
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
Not long at all. See explanation above, r.e. Cystic Fibrosis
98: Least favorite person?
Trump
99: Someone you look up to:
My mom
100: A store you love?
Hot Topic. Yes, I’m basic like that.
101: Favorite type of shoes
Flats, cause I don’t have to attempt to bend over to put them on.
102: Where do you live?
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Yes, I’m serious.
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
Nope.
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
Wtf? Are people supposed to have a favourite mineral or gem?
105: Do you drink milk?
No
106: Do you like bugs?
No
107: Do you like spiders?
NO
108: Something you get paranoid about?
If I remembered to turn off my computer before I go to bed.
109: Can you draw:
Nope
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
On a daily basis, people ask me why I use my scooter or my wheelchair. Every day. Not so much during the pandemic, but yeah.
111: A question you hate being asked?
“When are you going to get a boyfriend?” “When are you going to settle down?”
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
NOPE
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
Who doesn’t?
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
Cloudy, cause then I can stay indoors guilt-free
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
My dog. But he’s with my sister.
116: Favorite cloud type:
???? Is this something I’m supposed to have an opinion on?????
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
???? IDGAF ??????
118: Do you have freckles?
No
119: Favorite thing about a person:
Their laugh
120: Fruits or vegetables?
Fruit
121: Something you want to do right now:
Get another drink, but that’s probs not a great idea
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
Ocean
123: Sweet or sour foods?
Sweet
124: Bright or dim lights?
Dim
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
No
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
I can’t reblog ads. Some of those ads are really, REALLY funny.
127: Something you love about Tumblr:
Completely anonymous. I could be anyone. For all you know, I’m actually Mike Pence. (I promise I’m not)
128: What do you think about the least?
Idk? There’s probably lots of stuff I’ve never thought about at all
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
Nothing, but I want there to be a little machine on top that looks like a parking meter, and when you put money in it you get wifi for an hour.
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
Trump, most of the politicians in the states. I want to go to New York, and I can’t because y’all can’t get your shit together and kick this virus.
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
My face. Not going to elaborate.
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
Yes, but only because I get yelled at if I don’t.
133: Computer or TV?
Computer.
134: Do you like roller coasters?
I used to. Then the back surgery and now I can’t anymore.
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
Motion sickness no, seasickness yes.
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
Lobed.
137: Do you believe in karma?
I believe that what you do will eventually come back to bite you in the ass, but I don’t believe in some cosmic force that balances the scales.
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
0. Not going to elaborate.
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
None. My name has always been Adele. The few people who tried to give me nicknames got shot down real quick.
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
When I was little, yeah
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
Yes ma’am. For over a decade.
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
Both at different times.
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
Giving. I never know what to say when receiving.
144: What makes you angry
A lot of things these days. Can’t think of anything specific. My sister, usually.
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
Two. I speak French and English.
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
Boys.
147: Are you androgynous?
Nope.
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
My face. Not going to elaborate.
149: Favorite thing about your personality:
My “take no shit” attitude.
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
Lin Manuel Miranda, Renee Elise Goldsberry, anyone from West Wing
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
Revolutionary America
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
I’ve been known to partake.
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
Nope. I’m forever alone.
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
No. I have Asperger’s. No touching.
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
No.
156: What embarrasses you?
When I need to ask for help for really simple things because of my wheelchair or other disabilities. I hate it.
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
The future, for reasons way too complex to write in a tumblr post.
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
I convinced half my second grade class I was related to Elton John once. That was fun. They believed it for like 3 months.
159: How many people are you following?
Hundreds.
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
I don’t even know how I would find that out.
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
Right now, I have 12, but that’s because I’ve queued up the next 4 days HamiltonHungerGames. Usually, I have none. I don’t understand how people have drafts. When I feel like writing something on tumblr, I start a post, I end the post, I post it. I never use drafts
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
??? Again, I have no idea how to find that information.
163: Last time you cried and why:
I honestly don’t remember.
164: Do you have long or short hair?
Usually long, but right now short. My mom decided to give me a covid haircut, and she does not understand the meaning of “Just a trim”.
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
Down to my butt.
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?
Dislike. I’m not going to talk about it here, but if you’re really curious you can dm me.
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
Yes, because if we know where the universe and world came from, we can figure out where it’s headed. See the book Origins by Dan Brown.
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
Not at all.
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
I can barely stand on my feet for more than 30 seconds.
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?
Tried to.
Ok, this took me an hour and 45 minutes. I’m tired, I’m drunk, I’m going to regret this in the morning, I’m going to bed. Night y’all.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chapter Sixteen : THE QUEER KING RECOMMENDS
The Queer King recommends
THE DEATH AND LIFE OF MARSHA P. JOHNSON (2017)
No one knows what really happened to activist and trans pioneer Marsha P. Johnson the night she died. People still trying to understand.
Why do you need to see it ? Marsha P. Johnson is an icon and learning about her is learning about Stonewall and our culture.
The Queer King recommends
FAGGOTS, Larry Kramer (1978)
Fred Lemish, looking for love, gravitates in a New York City full of glory holes, BDSM, orgies and becomes disillusioned along the way.
Why do you need to read it ? It’s Kramer’s first novel. It’s ruff. His writing doesn’t shy away from the reality of gay life and he does not take any prisoners alive. A must read.
The Queer King recommends
TANGERINE, Sean Baker (2015)
On Christmas Eve, Sin-Dee discovers her pimp boyfriend has been cheating on her. With her friend Alexandra, she goes searching for him
Why do you need to see it ? Shot on an IPhone for a ridiculous amount of money, this dramedy puts trans women up front with incredible narrative audacity.
The Queer King recommends
A LITTLE LIFE, Hanya Yanagihara (2015)
Jude, Willem, JB & Malcolm are best friends living in New York City. From college to middle-age, with most focus on Jude, you will learn to care for them like no other fictional characters before.
Why do you need to read it ? I can’t stress this enough. This novel is extraordinary. 18 months later, I’m still not over it. It will break your heart.
The Queer King Recommends
PLEASE LIKE ME, Josh Thomas (2013–2016)
Josh discovers he’s gay, putting a spin in the lives of his girlfriend, his lazy best friend, his newly-wed dad and his depressed mother.
Why do you need to see it ? This Australian comedy achieves in tone and heart what Looking never could. And also, there’s Arnold. Oh, Arnold.
The Queer King Recommends
HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH, John Cameron Mitchell (2001)
Hedwig, an East German gender queer rock singer, is waiting for her operation that will get rid of the one-inch mound of flesh between her legs.
Why do you need to see it ? Poignant, full of incredible tunes and an extraordinary performance from writer-director JCM. Sugar Daddy, Bring it Home.
The Queer King Recommends
THE PRINCE OF SALT/CAROL, Patricia Highsmith (1952)
Young Therese meets Carol, an rich older woman. The “friendship” that will follow will change her life forever.
Why do you need to read it ? An unprecedented feat in literature, a lesbian love story in which the protagonists are not punished in the end.
The movie adaptation by Todd Haynes is also a must-see.
The Queer King Recommends
120 BATTEMENTS PAR MINUTE, Robin Campillo (2017)
France, 1990s. Act Up. The AIDS Epidemic. Love. Revolution.
Why do you need to see it ? To remember what happened. It’s earth-shattering. Silence = Death. What are you waiting for ? Go see it, now !
The Queer King Recommends
ONE DAY AT A TIME (2017–2019)
A family of hispanic descent tries to survive in today’s America.
Why do you need to see it ? For the greatest coming-out storyline on television. So perfect. Bring the show back!
The Queer King Recommends
GIOVANNI’S ROOM, James Baldwin (1956)
David, a young american who lived in Paris, remembers his complex relationships with the men in his life, particularly a bartender named Giovanni.
Why do you need to read it ? Top-3 greatest gay novel of all-time. The first time I read it, I couldn’t finish it. I read the last 30 pages 4 years later. It’s THAT powerful.
The Queer King Recommends
A VERY ENGLISH SCANDAL , Stephen Frears. (2018)
Three-part miniseries about the Jeremy Thorpe Scandal.
Why do you need to see it ? Three words. Whishaw. Davies. Frears.
Funny as fuck.
I’m starting a Ben Whishaw fanclub BTW.
The Queer King recommends
THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT, Stephan Elliott (1994)
Three drag queens take a road trip across Australia to get to a paid-job.
Why do you need to see it ? One of the rare 90s positive representation of LGBT+ people, it’s funny, gorgeous looking. A classic.
PS The soundtrack is
IN-CRE-DI-BLE.
The Queer King recommends
JUST KIDS, Patti Smith (2010)
The chronicles of a love story beyond societal restrictions between Patti Smith and revolutionary artist Robert Mapplethorpe.
Why do you need to read it ? Aside from the historical accuracy of the 60/70s, you explore what it feels like to really love someone. And Mapplethorpe is a fascinating man.
I cried multiple times.
The Queer King recommends
THE X PORTOFLIO , Robert Mapplethorpe (1978)
A series of photographs that shade a light on homosexual practices (most of them extremes).
Why do you need to see it ? A lot of Mapplethorpe’s work is great, but this is beyond. Not for the sensible soul. Hardcore.
The Queer King recommends
SHORTBUS, John Cameron Mitchell (2006)
An extremely diverse group of people are desperately trying to connect in a vibrant New York City.
Why do you need to see it ? That little miracle isn’t shy about sex. ALL kinds of sex. It’s very much like a Robert Altman movie, if Robert Altman shot a lot of oral sex in his career.
The Queer King recommends
LESS, Andrew Sean Greer (2018)
As his 50th birthday is coming up, writer Andrew Less is traveling around the world to avoid going to his ex’s wedding.
Why do you need to read it ? For the exploration of a gay man’s psyché while his youth and opportunities are behind him.
As a gay man, it made me sad. Then it gave me hope. Also now, I want a blue suit.
The Queer King recommends
CLOSET MONSTER, Stephen Dunn (2015)
18-year old Oscar tries to figure out his sexuality and face his childhood demons
Why do you need to see it ? The Buffy references and great acting. Duh.
The Queer King recommends
THE WAY HE LOOKS, Daniel Ribeiro (2014)
Blind high school student Leo meets new classmate Gabriel. He starts developing romantic feelings towards him.
Why do you need to see it ? Desires and self-realization are themes very well exploited in this movie. The two main actors are phenomenal. I almost wished I was 16 again (but not really).
The Queer King recommends
WHEN WE RISE, Cleve Jones (2016)
A complete memoir about the journey of activist Cleve Jones, following into the path of Harvey Milk to keep fighting for LGBTQ+ rights and against the AIDS Epidemic.
Why do you need to read it ? An in depth look at life at the fore front of activism, with gorgeous interludes of romance, sex and heartbreaks.
The Queer King recommends
KILLING EVE, Phoebe Waller-Bridge (2018-present)
MI:5 Eve Polastri’s pursuit of International killer Villanelle.
Why do you need to see it ? Because lesbian desires are still mostly unseen on mainstream, award-winning programs.
It’s very, very, very good.
The Queer King recommends
ZIGGY, STARDUST & ME, James Brandon (2019)
1973. Jonathan meets Web. He’s not supposed to. He needs to change. Sweet Ziggy won’t help him now.
Why do you need to read it ? It’s not out until August (but I have a proof copy). It’s not great literature (it’s YA after all) but it did fill my heart with feelings of love and hope.
Everything Bowie is good for the soul anyway.
The Queer King recommends
PRIDE, Stephen Boresford (2014)
1984, Brittain. A strike is breaking the country apart. Lesbians & Gays decide to give their support to the miners.
Why do you need to see it ? Because it’s still rare to see a funny movie about gay people which is not condescending.
The Queer King recommends
ANGELS IN AMERICA, Tony Kushner (1991–1993)
A complex, metaphorical examination of American life, the AIDS epidemic and homosexuality in the 80s.
Why do you need to read it ? The writing is glorious, full with incredible characters. A very sensitive approach of flaws in the human spirit.
It’s epic.
The Queer King recommends
LE ROSE ET LE NOIR , Frédéric Martel (1996)
Everything that happened to the Queer community in France from 1968 until the arrival of the PACS.
Why do you need to read it ? Information is key. You won’t get a deeper source of information.
The Queer King recommends
LILTING, Hong Khaou (2014)
A mother tries to understand who her son was after his death, co-existing with his grieving lover.
Why do you need to see it ? A story of death, acceptance and race, Lilting is a delicate piece of filmmaking. And again, Ben Whishaw. Goddamn Ben Whishaw.
The Queer King recommends
MOONLIGHT, Barry Jenkins (2016)
The youth, teenage years and adult life of a black gay man struggling with his identity.
Why do you need to see it ? Black gay men are not a common subject. It won Best Picture at the Oscars. Fucking Amazing.
The Queer King recommends
POSE (2018-present)
The tribulations of gay and transgender characters in the ball scene of the late 80s.
Why do you need to see it ? The first of its kind — where representation is limitless, it’s an homage to a fabulous and terrible time in LGBTQ+’s life.
As I said in a previous article, it’s essential.
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
Been a while since I’ve done this so all the asks please and thank
You’re lucky I love you 🙄 1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I’m perfectly average, and I’m good with that
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) A tiger 🐅
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Classic 50’s / 60’s
4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Mario kart
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My religion, my work, and whatever fiction (book, show, etc) I’m into at the time
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? WARNING: DON’T ASK ABOUT HER CATS
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? Need a person/thing dude
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Uhhhhhh idk it’s in my bio
9: Are you ticklish? No
10: Are you allergic to anything? Maybe??¿?
11: What’s your sexuality? Straight
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? TEA
13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cats
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Crowder
16: How tall are you? 5'5"
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Anything, I hate my name. I’d ever prefer if it were the French spelling
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] No idea tbh
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? In the biblical sense 😂
20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space
21: Are you religious? Very much so
22: Pet peeves? Audible chewing / breathing / snoring
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal
24: Favorite constellation? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
25: Favorite star? How?
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I guess
27: Any phobias or fears? Oh yes
28: Do you think global warming is real? Nope
29: Do you believe in reincarnation? No
30: Favorite movie? Sabrina 1995
31: Do you get scared easily? No
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Family pets? Many. Mine own? Snuggles, and technically part of Stitch
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 23/30
34: What is a color that calms you? Pink
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Paris
36: Where were you born? Ohio
37: What is your eye color? Brown
38: Introvert or extrovert? Introvert
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? No
40: Hugs or kisses? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? You. Come visit me.
42: Who is someone you love deeply? Obi
43: Any piercings you want? I’d like my second ear piercings back :/
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Depends
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? Noooooo
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Indians #22 😍
47: What is a sound you really hate? 21 pilots
48: A sound you really love? When Loki sits in the hall and yells
49: Can you do a backflip? Lol no
50: Can you do the splits? LOL no
51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Errol Flynn and Judy Garland
52: Favorite movie? Didn’t I just answer this?
53: How are you feeling right now? Good
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I like the color it is
55: When did you feel happiest? Reading
56: Something that calms you down? Crochet
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] LOL probably
58: What does your URL mean? I like books
59: What three words describe you the most? Uh idk you tell me
60: Do you believe in evolution? Noooooooooooo
61: What makes you unfollow a blog? The sight of their url fills me with annoyance
62: What makes you follow a blog? A real person who posts like a real person
63: Favorite kind of person: Lots of people
64: Favorite animal(s): Cats
65: Name three of your favorite blogs. No, too many
66: Favorite emoticon: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
67: Favorite meme: Cow poetry
68: What is your MBTI personality type? Istj
69: What is your star sign? 🌟
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No, it’s a constant source of amusement
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? None
72: Post a selfie or two? No
73: Do you have platform shoes? No
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I need another MRI!
75: Can you do a front flip? No
76: Do you like birds? No
77: Do you like to swim? Yes
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? I used to like both!
79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Taxes. Insurance.
80: Some thing you wish did exist: More space
81: Piercings you have? Ears
82: Something you really enjoy doing: Crochet
83: Favorite person to talk to: Stell
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? Funny
85: How many followers do you have? I’ve been hovering around 1200 for months
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Idk probably not
87: Do your socks always match? Never
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? Uhhh idr? Maybe
89: What are your birthstones? I think Pearl?
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Plumeria
92: A store you hate? Menards and I’ve never even been there
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? None!!!!
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? For
95: Do you like to wear camo? No
96: Winter or summer? Winter
97: How long can you hold your breath for? No idea
98: Least favorite person? Rory
99: Someone you look up to: Elinor dashwood
100: A store you love? Earth fare
101: Favorite type of shoes D:
102: Where do you live? Ohio
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nope! 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Turquoise? 105: Do you drink milk? Sometimes. A2 low temp 106: Do you like bugs? NO 107: Do you like spiders? NOO 108: Something you get paranoid about? SPIDERS 109: Can you draw: No :( 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? “Can you draw?” Oh also, “Why no ring?” By a patient I did not like. 111: A question you hate being asked? “How do you feel?” Hate it a lot. 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Yes :/ 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yes 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: Obi, my puppy 116: Favorite cloud type: Uh. White? 117: What color do you wish the sky was? Pink 118: Do you have freckles? Some. Not as many as id like 119: Favorite thing about a person: Sense of humor 120: Fruits or vegetables? Both!!!! 121: Something you want to do right now: Get some work done, but SOMEONE needed every question answered 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky 123: Sweet or sour foods? Both 124: Bright or dim lights? Both 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Dragons 126: Something you hate about Tumblr: The users 127: Something you love about Tumblr: The users 128: What do you think about the least? I think about most things a lot 129: What would you want written on your tombstone? That’s one to think about. Suggestions? 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Me. No, whoever invented insurance. 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? Everything, but mostly hate 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Yes, because as bad as that is, the alternative is unthinkable 133: Computer or TV? Computer 134: Do you like roller coasters? No 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? No 136: Are your ears lobed or attached? ?? 137: Do you believe in karma? No 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -6 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? N/A 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Yes 141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? No 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good I hope 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving 144: What makes you angry Politics, and people who insist on talking about them when you’re really not in the mood 145: How many languages do you speak fluently? None 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? What 😂😂😂😂 147: Are you androgynous? Hahahahhaahhaha 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: None 149: Favorite thing about your personality: Definitely none 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. There’s so many questions here 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? 1890 152: Do you like BuzzFeed? No 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] I didn’t 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No idea 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? No 156: What embarrasses you? Second hand embarrassment 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Being late 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: Idk 159: How many people are you following? A lot 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? Lots 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? So many 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? Uhhh 163: Last time you cried and why: No 164: Do you have long or short hair? In between 165: Longest your hair has ever been: Very long 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? Depends on the religion 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Extremely 168: Do you like to wear makeup? Yes 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? No 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yes Happy?
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
MOTHER, MAY I ???
[ open starters! / memes! / calls! ]
low activity | starlet-hopeful oc | multi-verse {default: 60s/70s} | multi-most
MARIONETTE
mar·i·on·ette || noun, thing
a puppet worked from above by strings attached to its limbs.
see also: DOLL, DUMMY, FIGURINE, MANIKIN, MOPPET
ARIENETTE
ar·i·en·ette || noun, thing person!
page 22, your favorite cult film starlet, a music video extra 45 seconds in.
see also: ARI STARLING, JUST TRYING, MOTHER’S DARLING
! i can be anything you like !
NAME: Arienette Marie Jones // ARI STARLING !
AGE: twenty-two
HEIGHT: 5'5"
MOTIVE: ubiquity. attention. approval.
INTERESTS: the next big thing. piano. theater. celebrities. fame. getting gigs….
OCCUPATION: film extra, pianist, back-up, dancer, model, a pretty face in print.
STATUS: trying; too scared busy to mingle, probably…
BETTER AS A CONCEPT : MOTHER DEAREST : IDENTITY CRISIS : AWKWARD WHEN NOT TOLD HOW TO DO OR BE : CAN NEVER AFFORD THE LUXURY OF SOLITUDE OR SELF-REFLECTION : AN UNINTENTIONALLY CONVENIENT SOCIAL CHAMELEON : EAGER TO PLEASE, BECAUSE WHAT ELSE IS THERE REALLY : EXISTENTIALLY INEPT : PERPETUALLY BUSINESS-MINDED : BIG BREAK OR BUST : NOTHING TOO SMALL
OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL BABY !! indeed.
Her overture came just opposite as faeries do- on the dwindling notes of an infant’s first cry. Ari’s first gig happened as she’d assumed everyone’s would- Mother imprinted the green ghosts of a camera flash into her retina and called her Darling while toting her from Agent to Agent.
Somehow, between babbles and being handed sparkly baubles, the darling landed her part as a precious, chubby-cheeked sweetheart rolling about in diapers, pasted on every cardboard box at any Baby Shower you’d ever go to :: LOOK AT HER! A NATURAL! apparently…
The ARIENETTE SHOW continued on–
as Mother knew it would. Chain store baby clothes advertisements, local magazines, a couple spots as a teensy sweetheart in commercials, many crowns ( & cash prizes ) from tiny tot beauty pageants– and Mother decided; nobody would stand in their way.
Especially not Arienette’s father, who dared to protest with all his crazy ideas of children being allowed to play in the dirt and act like children: only took divorce papers and three hours in the car to get rid of that negativity.
The credit companies- who INVESTED in dear Ari whether they wanted to or not- wouldn’t be able to dissuade them either: despite the many times they’d called or sent strongly-worded letters...
Her darling Arienette ARI! was going to be a STAR,
she just KNEW IT, just a DARLING STAR !
ARI HAD TO BE A STARLING!
OR ELSE THIS ALL WAS A WASTE!
EXTRA! EXTRA!
PRETTY GIRL WITH A MOTHER HAPPY TO SIGN THE DOTTED LINE!
CUE, STAGE LEFT– the barrage of childhood lessons: tap, ballet, singing, piano (probably the only thing she truly enjoyed out of the whole mix), jazz, guitar, poetry: just enough of each that made it so she could manage, hold her own– but there had never really been any chance for one or the other to last long enough to become a honed skill…SAVE FOR HER TIME AT THE KEYS, Arienette absolutely loves playing piano… at least something good came from it all…
NEXT TRICK: On to classes: etiquette, niceties, literature, the art of conversation: Mother “home schooled” her to keep that impressionable brain free from those vile teachers, who think they know so much!
really, it was just strategically simpler to keep up with possible gigs, travel, and to focus those lessons onto relevant topics… important topics… off the record, don’t mind a thing…
all extracurriculars and lessons would be considering Mother’s discretion, of course.
Thus came her second calling, her re-birth, name chosen by Mother as carefully as every other bit of her was: ARI! STARLING! and watch her Icarus her way right to burnout!
OH, THE TRAGEDY–
but the years passed, as they do, and when you’ve grown from a darling blonde baby to just another pretty-enough girl in the midst of talented starlets and performers: all the fun goes from being a DREAM to a method of survival !!
But oh, she tried, and some would argue– at least for the few years that would be remembered as fifteen minutes– ARIENETTE MADE IT! Was even notable for a couple of those months- especially after she was just shy of a Scream Queen title in some low-budget cult horror flick, she got to have her name printed in the paper, Mother kept extra copies, and a couple big name ARTISTS actually ASKED for her! As could, and should, have been expected; those highlights turned dim after the time was up and another pretty girl fell into media favor. Once left in the wake of her own shadow, without the persistent approval of Mother or the calls from well known producers: she struggled.
Thus: when the days of being unable to will herself out of bed took over, the times when she couldn’t even pretend to smile, her SECOND ACT HAD COME AT LAST…
Until that 11′o’clock cue came as a fellow actress who suggested that Therapist.
A DOC WHO UNDERSTOOD! IT’S HARD BEING A MOTH SUSTAINED BY SPOTLIGHT!
Who needs a bitch face when you can just give ‘em pure, prescribed, apathy!?
The paparazzi caught on, when they snapped photos including her pouting petulantly at the glare of a camera lens flash during brunch with a singer she’d be modeling with… they loved it: READ ALL ABOUT IT: DARLING ARI STARLING HOLDS MELANCHOLY WITH GRACE– and thank God for that caption, Mother hadn’t been talking to her since she’d gone and gotten pills… but now that even her Depression can be spun into Media Fodder, it’s all just fine!
HELLO! HELLO! IS THERE A GIRL IN THERE?!
She’s not ungrateful, truly. Or even notably unhappy!
Easy to say: she’s quite blissfully content with where she is…
always chasing after the next role.
Just dancing on the knife’s edge of knowing who she is and who she is to be.
But does it matter? Can you have one without the other? Who cares?
Where does Identity go when there’s so little of yourself you even truly know?
all she’s so sure about that ARIENETTE is that she loves her books, the theater, and her piano- but is that really enough to substantiate a someone…?
It’s a sweet surrender, but at least: it’s hers.
Thankfully: at 22, mother’s had to loosen her reigns! EVEN IF SHE STILL RIDES ON ARI’S COATTAILS AS A CAREER CHOICE! but her influence remains an omnipresence. Her social circle has expanded, through minor gigs covered in fake blood or sitting in the background as an extra, through miscellaneous commercial jobs and mostly modeling: COME TO FIND OUT, Ari’s pretty cute when she sits on a car while those fellows with more hair than metal traipse about strumming their guitars. Those wide-eyes also make her a devastating addition to those creepy-crawly movies: she’s become a cult film favorite just for being so awkwardly her and so darlingly easy to slaughter: a good lamb for those weird wolves, you know. Sometimes, someone will pay her a pretty penny for promotional gigs: she just has to bother strangers and convince them to do or buy something, easy enough– she’s even made it in some album art before, mostly just an additional face within the crowd. Once, they even let her play the piano, probably her very favorite shoot even though you can hardly see her…
The plentiful small gigs keeps her bill cheap, even lets her venture into the realm of what might vaguely be able to be considered Passion Projects… her very favorite are her stints playing piano, and any chance she can have on stage in theater: but Mother says that’s a waste...
There’s no job too big ; yet, there’s also no job too small ; a gig’s a gig.
she likes this easy stuff, with these funny people, all in their own shows…
the perpetual EXTRA, she is !
AND FOR THE RESUME:
> Diaper Box Baby
> Toddler Beauty Pageants
> Kids Commercial Magazine modeling
> The Soup Commercial
— (she is very proud of this one- first job she really remembers getting any attention for)
> Various TV (mostly various local stations) Commercials
> The Puppet Show, for about 4 years, one of the recurring child roles
> Background Dancing / Chorus Line Spots
> Ambiance Piano; playing in the background at very fancy parties, in hotel lobbies, at casinos, etc. (this, she loved, dearly, because she adores piano and people watching)
> Modeling, teen magazines etc.
> Extra work in movies, which led to a couple very minor roles.
> About now she was permitted to explore theater more
— (Mother says it’s a waste of time and money)
> Niche found in low-budget / campy / cult-y / independent Horror Movies
> Promotional Work, general.
> Modeling with / for other performers and musical groups; print, music videos, album art
> Dancing, still (chorus line / ensemble; burlesque; showgirl)
> Any piano or staged theater gig she can land (her f a v o r i t e s)
> Absolutely anything you will pay her to do…
WHERE TO FIND AN ARIENETTE:
> Waiting in line for an audition.
> An audition, in general. Always.
> At a piano.
> In a terrible outfit, peddling shots or cigarettes or windows (THAT WAS ONLY ONCE!)
> On set, as an extra or background model.
> Covered in fake blood, amidst some weird cult film or… something…
> A chorus line / A temporary back-up dancer / A swing performer / Ensemble
> Playing piano in a hotel lobby.
> With Mother, or someone Mother’s appointed.
> On her way to or from lessons of some sort, wishing she were elsewhere.
> Networking. Or, trying to.
In general: Arienette’s quite accustomed to being used more as a prop than companion: to be there in hopes of making the main attraction appear ever more magnificent. To being posed, instructed, critiqued, told how to be or how to do. It’s her comfort zone, being theirs.
Considers herself the understudy of her own life– Ari Starling’s the STAR of this show, but sometimes Arienette does take the time to come out for a peek at existence, tends to require some coaxing before that facade breaks down, though: EVERY MISSED OPPORTUNITY IS ONE TOO MANY, AND ANYONE’S ONLY HERE FOR ARI!
Doesn’t even take much offense, ever: completely accustomed to critique and criticism: which leads into how the treatment she would accept being steadied on a rather low bar. Hard to offend someone who’s been up for scrutiny since she could walk, even harder to cross boundaries she’d never had the power to set for herself…
that was Mother’s job…
Oh, and our Darling doesn’t mean to come off as pretentious, but she’s had pretention pearled into her bones so long- she can hardly tell where Arienette begins and Ari Starling ends…
can be snooty, life is only a job interview, honesty is the best policy, there’s no point in shinin’ up shit… doesn’t think things through all too much in conversation that’s not being recorded, perfectly content with saying what’s on her mind: tendency to share strange things, never bats an eye. Almost comatose when unsure of what’s expected of her, too quiet when off-script, constantly asking: what do you want me to do?
what do you want from me? how should i be? where do i stand?
Nearly always on the verge of giving a PERFORMANCE, since, as Mother always said:
“ WHO CARES WHO YOU ARE UNLESS YOU’RE EVERYTHING, DARLING!? “
But, the real HORROR SHOW: What About When Mother’s Gone?
what does she have left, but the connections that have been made and the reputation / identity that’s been crafted and constructed for her? Who is she supposed to be without the familiar puppeteer there to pull her strings?
WHO IS ARIENETTE JONES!?
Well… she’s still trying to figure that out for herself…
NEED A PRETTY FACE FOR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING?
HAVE WE GOT THE GIRL FOR YOU!
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
do em all, coward
on the one hand: yay! i get to do the ask game! on the other; @acutest-angle, i’m so sorry for doing this to you. i aint gonna fill nobody’s dash, so the qna is under the break. these are like really undetailed. ill be more specific for individual numbers
1: How tall or short do you wish you were? im pretty happy being 163
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) i love my lil baby so much. i wouldnt trade my pupper for the world
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? i wear a lot of black, and generally dress such that i would be good to go for any job interviews/public speaking events. this is in large part to make up for the fact that my go-to shoes are heelys. like i wear my heelys during professional presentations that count for a large part of my grade. my teachers think im “something else”
4: What was your favorite video game growing up? idk. we didnt do all that media shiz. maybe pvz.
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my doggo, my child(useless friend needing guidance) and my tumblr-famous friend. hmu for her url. 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?absolute weirdo, but like in a socially acceptable way. can and will debate you into submission.7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?i support gays.8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
9: Are you ticklish?a bit10: Are you allergic to anything?some cats, all homophobes11: What’s your sexuality?ace, homoromo12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?tea babe. like i have so much. like a cubic yard. its a problem.13: Are you a cat or dog person?im multifandom(not a furry)14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?elf15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?amber liu16: How tall are you?160cm17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?my chinese name18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]102-105 i’m smol.19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?normally no. when im home alone….a lil.20: Do you like space or the ocean more? i have a large fear of the ocean. 21: Are you religious? no22: Pet peeves?poor work ethics/mansplaining/poor hygiene.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?diurnal24: Favorite constellation?orions belt25: Favorite star?shinee26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?not particularly27: Any phobias or fears?germs, the dark, men, large non-pools bodies of water, spiders28: Do you think global warming is real? yea, but “climate change” is more accurate29: Do you believe in reincarnation?no30: Favorite movie?tangled, the lorax, shawshank redemp. , hairspray, legally blond, mulan, mama mia, in that order.31: Do you get scared easily? yea32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?3 fish 3 dog33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] im gunna rate @acutest-angle cuz she did mine. 10/10 would be 11 but she aint stannin shinee.34: What is a color that calms you? purple35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? oregon suits me fine36: Where were you born? oregon37: What is your eye color?brown38: Introvert or extrovert?idek. im really good at people, but idk abt energy gaining or wtv.39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?no40: Hugs or kisses?hugs41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?my doggo.42: Who is someone you love deeply? see above43: Any piercings you want? i already have doubles. might get belly button in the future.44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? hnngg45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? hell no. i take drugs/alcohol v seriously.46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! gorl. so beautiful, so smart, so utterly perfect. also taken.47: What is a sound you really hate? the whit boi in class mansplaining shit to me.48: A sound you really love? pitter pat of paws on hardwood.49: Can you do a backflip? no.50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress?idkrn52: Favorite movie? see 3053: How are you feeling right now?tee hee54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? i really like my hair as is.55: When did you feel happiest? talking in front of many peeps.56: Something that calms you down?tea57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] none diagnosed. ask me about my brain later for more deets. 58: What does your URL mean?that i smol and i luv shinee59: What three words describe you the most? witty, caring,quick.60: Do you believe in evolution?yes61: What makes you unfollow a blog?too many posts/mediocre content/no longer aligned interests.62: What makes you follow a blog? posts63: Favorite kind of person:girl64: Favorite animal(s):dogs/cats65: Name three of your favorite blogs. @lolfunnykpop @acutest-angle @27-umbrellas66: Favorite emoticon: thumbs up67: Favorite meme: ive connected the dots68: What is your MBTI personality type?pic69: What is your star sign?my wut?70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?yes71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?its black, its formalish, its a pushup bra, dress, and heelys.72: Post a selfie or two?i like dont have any, and im in no statye to be taking them rn.
73: Do you have platform shoes?no?
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?i forgot a wholeass language75: Can you do a front flip?no76: Do you like birds?y77: Do you like to swim?ew78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?no79: Something you wish didn’t exist:homophobia80: Some thing you wish did exist:universal translators81: Piercings you have?double in each ear82: Something you really enjoy doing:read83: Favorite person to talk to:dog84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?no rules here.85: How many followers do you have?all together, a thousand or two?86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? idk87: Do your socks always match?no88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?ill cry89: What are your birthstones? the lite blu one90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?i aint no furry.91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?a rose92: A store you hate? chick fil a93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? i got addicted, so ive been coffee free for 3 yrs now94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? fly95: Do you like to wear camo? no96: Winter or summer?winter97: How long can you hold your breath for?40sec98: Least favorite person?trump99: Someone you look up to:amber liu100: A store you love?office depot101: Favorite type of shoes? heelys102: Where do you live? oregon103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?vegetarian, environment/animal right, eggs for health.104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? sparkle105: Do you drink milk? yea, calcium.106: Do you like bugs?i respect their existence but stay tf away107: Do you like spiders? no108: Something you get paranoid about?spiders, water, germs109: Can you draw: sure110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?do you shave ur vag?111: A question you hate being asked?whos ur boy friend?112: Ever been bitten by a spider?no113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?yea, from a distance114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?sunny, from a distance115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: doggo116: Favorite cloud type:cotton candy?117: What color do you wish the sky was?this is fine118: Do you have freckles? like two.119: Favorite thing about a person:personality120: Fruits or vegetables?fruit121: Something you want to do right now:crochet122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?sky123: Sweet or sour foods?sweet124: Bright or dim lights?dim, i have oddball vision issues.125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?love126: Something you hate about Tumblr:no dates on anything/ALL THE FREAKING PORNBOTS THAT ARE STILL FOLLOWING ME REGULARLY127: Something you love about Tumblr:shitposts128: What do you think about the least?i feel like this is a paradox129: What would you want written on your tombstone?list of my achievements in life(born:xxxx died:xxxx)130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?ice131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?how my brain occasionally forgets to filter132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?sometimes133: Computer or TV?computer134: Do you like roller coasters?ew, all that sweat and vomit baked into the seats.135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?no136: Are your ears lobed or attached?lobed137: Do you believe in karma?idk, i like to be nice but secretly with passive aggressive motives.138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?7139: What nicknames do you have/have had?dictionary, lee, tumblr girl, dibi, mom, my child, heely girl (i have a reputation at school)140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?yea, i dont remember them, but apparently i invented myself a butler.141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?way back in the day142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?good143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?giving144: What makes you angryamerica145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls147: Are you androgynous? no148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: figure/hair149: Favorite thing about your personality: i think im funny150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. my friend’s mom/my coach, my rolemodel/friend, my past self.151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? all the eras sucked for people like myself152: Do you like BuzzFeed?love/hate153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]sexy free and single154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? o yeah155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?yessss156: What embarrasses you?my mouth157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:the internment camps158: Biggest lie you have ever told:so many159: How many people are you following?153160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?10000+161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?1000+162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?how do i find this?163: Last time you cried and why: today. latest superstore episode.164: Do you have long or short hair?long165: Longest your hair has ever been:2.5 ft166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?like the community it provides, dislike a lot of values taught, dislike the exclusivity, dislike the way religion is treated as a default. 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? only in regards to what we can do to save it.168: Do you like to wear makeup?i like sparkly eyeshadow n mascara. but dont wear regularly.169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yea sure.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Doctor Who - ‘An Unearthly Child’ Review
(aka 100,000 B.C., The Tribe of Gum, The Stone Age, or The Paleolithic Age)
Two teachers follow a mysterious student into a junkyard, spawning multiple generations of sci-fi geeks.
Season 1, Serial A
Starring William Hartnell as the Doctor
With William Russell (Ian), Jacqueline Hill (Barbara) and Carole Ann Ford (Susan)
Written by Anthony Coburn and C.E. Webber
Directed by Waris Hussein
Produced by Verity Lambert
Episodes and Broadcast Dates:
An Unearthly Child – 23 Nov 1963
The Cave Of Skulls – 30 Nov 1963
The Forest Of Fear – 7 Dec 1963
The Firemakers – 14 Dec 1963
Plot Summary
At the end of another day at London’s Coal Hill School, history teacher Barbara Wright and science teacher Ian Chesterton compare notes about an enigmatic student, Susan Foreman. Her knowledge of history and science surpasses their own, but is also awkwardly unaware of the ins-and-outs of contemporary life. They trail her to her given address, 76 Totters Lane, only to find a scrapyard wherein sits a rather incongruous Police Box emitting an eerie hum. They encounter Susan’s grandfather, who brusquely shoos them away. But when Susan’s voice is heard from inside, they push past him into the Police Box and find themselves in a vast futuristic chamber, much larger on the inside. The old man is furious at their intrusion. Susan explains that they are exiles from another world and another time, and the Police Box is their ship, the TARDIS. The old man is paranoid and irascible, certain that the teachers will expose their secret, and despite Susan’s panicked pleas he activates the TARDIS, leaving 60’s London behind.
The quartet find themselves in the Stone Age, and are soon abducted by a tribe of primitive humans. There is a power struggle for control of the tribe between Za, son of the late elder, and the outsider Kal, focused on the secret of making fire. When the old man announces he can make fire, they become pawns in the struggle. Along the way, Ian and Barbara introduce the tribe to concepts of mercy and helpfulness, that in ‘their tribe,’ the firemaker is the least powerful person, and that one tyrant is not as strong as a unified collective. This lesson is lost on the old man; when Za pursues them through the forest and is attacked by a wild beast, he is perfectly willing to kill the wounded man to help them escape. Ultimately they make fire for the tribe, Za kills Kal, and the travelers escape to the TARDIS.
It is made clear that Susan’s grandfather, who is known as the Doctor, cannot control the navigational systems of the TARDIS, and may never be able to return Ian and Barbara home. They arrive at their next destination and go out to explore. They do not notice the TARDIS’s radiation meter inching into the danger zone...
Analysis and Notes
-- Episode One’s viewership was quite low – possibly due to news coverage of President Kennedy’s assassination the day before, possibly due to a number of regional power cuts – so the BBC granted a virtually unprecedented re-broadcast immediately prior to Episode Two. More people saw the repeat broadcast than the initial one.
-- Episode One was a re-write and re-shoot of the un-broadcast pilot episode, which was beset by technical difficulties and featured an even harsher characterization of the Doctor.
--Most of the principle guest cast would appear in future serials: Derek Newark (Za) in Inferno, Althea Charleton (Hur) in The Time Meddler, Jeremy Young (Kal) in Mission to the Unknown, and Eileen Way (Old Woman) in The Creature from the Pit.
Okay, all you Smith-heads, Tennant worshipers and Capaldians (all three of you, myself included), listen up. The sci-fi institution you know and love originated over a half century ago, right here. Before the action figures, the magazines, the thousands of fansites, the DVD’s, the convention circuit, the minisodes, and all the flood of BBC Enterprises swag, there was An Unearthly Child. And in some cases, it looks and feels very much like the show you’re watching now; there’s a big blue (well, dark gray) box called the TARDIS that flies through time and space, and it makes the same wheezy noise as it takes off and lands. There’s a mysterious central character called the Doctor and a handful of travelling companions. But there are also enormous differences.
In the current series, the TARDIS can land anywhere it wants to. But initially the central concept of the Classic Era was the TARDIS’s unreliability. This meant that when the Doctor takes off with Barbara and Ian on board at the end of episode one, there’s virtually no chance of getting them home again. In future serials where the Doctor and crew need to get to a specific place, they have to hitch a ride.
The early days of the show were a sharp contrast from the ethos displayed in the upcoming Series Nine catchphrase, “I’m the Doctor. I save people.” In most cases, they landed in a certain place or time, got separated from the TARDIS, and spent the rest of the series more focused on Not Dying and/or Not Changing History than they were about liberating oppressed humanoids or saving Earth from alien invasion. And especially in this opening serial, the only person the Doctor feels obliged to save is himself.
Having never been companions by choice, Barbara and Ian’s primary goal throughout their time on the TARDIS was to get home again. Even when they weren’t so much traveling companions as kidnapping victims, this meant getting back to the TARDIS whenever they were separated from it, and keeping the Doctor – their kidnapper – safe at all times since he was the only person who could operate it. Ultimately they do get home again, but end up using a slightly more reliable Dalek time capsule to do it, and we never quite learn how they explain their two-year absence to the Coal Hill headmaster.
And we have to assume they left no significant others behind. Because if there’s one consistent theme amongst the TARDIS’s early classic era companions, it’s that they have no backstories or families or home life that’s disrupted when they meet the Doctor. They’re orphans, bachelors, and free agents. No room for outside domestic drama on the TARDIS.
As for the actual story:
I can’t help but fall in step with the Received Wisdom that the first episode is classic and the remaining three are comparatively mediocre. That said, the Stone Age episodes are very noteworthy. The initial concept for the series was that science fiction and historical stories would balance each other – thus the need for a history teacher and a science teacher. The historical stories would follow the format established here; the TARDIS crew gets separated from the ship, and after a few cycles of capture-escape-recapture where they encounter historical figures or crucial historical events, manage to escape to the TARDIS without getting killed or dramatically changing history.
And the Doctor couldn’t be further removed from how we come to know him now. Selfish, paranoid, and bad-tempered, over-protective of Susan, a kidnapper, a would-be murderer, a refugee rather than a traveler, he’s a quintessential anti-hero, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was the only one who could pilot the TARDIS, odds are they’d boot him out. It’s his dealing with Barbara and Ian that over time gives him a moral compass, either making him a heroic figure, or re-making him one after whatever as-yet-undetermined incident caused him to flee.
The Stone Age tribe is surprisingly multi-dimensional. They’re not ignorant, just uneducated. The oldest among them are fearful of new technology (i.e. fire). The savage conditions in which they live, where death lurks around every corner, render concepts like tenderness, kindness, and democracy as luxuries. You may just have to grit your teeth as the social liberalism is delivered with a side of colonialism; the well-dressed white bourgeois travelers drop into the jungle like the Galactic Peace Corps to teach the dirty savages how to live better. Also a dash of sexism as the girl – named, appropriately enough, Hur – exists as the prize to be awarded to either Kal or Za.
It’s evident that the BBC wanted this program to succeed. Even though they put the show in the young and relatively inexperienced hands of producer Verity Lambert and director Waris Hussein, possibly so they could be scapegoats for the program’s potential failure, they allowed the pilot episode to be re-tooled and re-filmed, and they re-broadcast Episode One immediately prior to Episode Two.
As this is the very first serial, it’s worthy to note which concepts have stayed etched in granite over a half-century and which have been more malleable (if not rejected entirely):
The Doctor’s Name – Susan only refers to him as “Grandfather.” Ian recalls, before they meet, that Susan’s grandfather is “a Doctor or something.” Since the junkyard’s front door reads I.M. FOREMAN, SCRAP MERCHANT, and Susan’s given surname is Foreman, he calls him “Dr. Foreman” in episode two, to which the old man replies, “Huh? Doctor Who? What is he talking about?” strongly suggesting that “Foreman” was never their name. Does one require a PhD to run a junkyard? Or are they squatters, with Susan adopting the name on the door? If so, whatever happened to I.M. Foreman? He never explicitly instructs Ian or Barbara as to how he wishes to be addressed, and basically adopts the title “The Doctor” by default.
The TARDIS – Susan claims to have made up the name of the TARDIS as an acronym for Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space, as if this TARDIS was the only one in existence. For most of the first season, they refer to the TARDIS simply as “The Ship.” In episode two, the Doctor notes that the external appearance of the ship is supposed to blend in with its surroundings (though the term “Chameleon Circuit” would not be coined for over a decade), suggesting this is the first time it has failed; with rare exceptions, it would never function again. And the most pivotal concept about the TARDIS is that the Doctor cannot navigate it properly. Either he never learned, or he forgot, or the mechanism is faulty; it’s never explicitly stated, but once they leave London 1963, there’s no guarantee they’ll ever get back.
Their Origins – No Time Lords, no Gallifrey, these terms don’t appear for years to come. The details they give in the first episode are sketchy. They’re exiles, wanderers in time, cut off from their own planet. No mention is ever given of Susan’s parents (i.e. the Doctor’s offspring, presumably). They’re hiding on Earth, and have lived incognito for several months; from what and why are never stated.
Been Here Before – Barbara lends Susan a very thick book about the French Revolution, which Susan reads in a split second and remarks, “That’s not how it happened!” Though no mention of a prior visit was ever made later in Season One when they land in Robespierre’s post-revolutionary Paris. The gift of superhuman speed-reading appears again in the New Series’ reboot, Rose.
In Summation
You could be forgiven if you only watch the first episode, but what an episode it is! It’s as noteworthy and epoch-shifting a debut as the Beatles’ Please Please Me eight months earlier (or their follow-up, With The Beatles, issued the day before). Yet despite creator Sydney Newman’s directive of “No Bug Eyed Monsters!”, the program’s watershed moment was yet to come, and British popular culture would never be the same.
Rating: 3 out of 4 epoch-shifting moments in British pop culture.
John Geoffrion balances a career in hospital fundraising with semi-pro theatre gigs, and watches way too much Doctor Who and Britcoms in between. He'll create an author page after he puts up a few more reviews.
#Doctor Who#Classic Who#The Doctor#First Doctor#Susan Foreman#Barbara Wright#Ian Chesterton#Doctor Who Reviews#Doux Reviews#TV Reviews#something from the archive
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Survey Says..
1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
I'm 5'3, but I sometimes wish I was shorter because of how cute it can be in a relationship. I've watched too much anime, okay?
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
Well, @warpedbelief didn't help me figuring this out because his dragon idea was really cool. However... I'll just stick with cats. I love cats. (I also love dragons..)
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
Comfortable. Lol. I mostly wear PJs.
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
Final Fantasy series in general. 7 & 9 Specifically.
My heart was always with Zelda ALTTP though.
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
Erwin, Wiggles, PoF (Power of Friendship, so my friends/family.)
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
Caution : Speaks her mind far too often. No filter. Bossy af. Does not cave easily.
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
I don't know.
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
Melancholic.
9: Are you ticklish?
.....No...?....(Yes)
10: Are you allergic to anything?
Lots of stuff. There's a list uploaded somewhere.
11: What’s your sexuality?
Heteronormative Bisexual. I used to call it straight with a twist until I figured out there was an actual term for it.
Basically, I'm emotionally attracted to men and commonly see myself in a relationship with men. (My Husband, HI.)
However, I have similar attractions physically to women, but have never seen myself in a relationship with one other than physically.
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
Cocoa or Tea, but I'll drink any of em.
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
Cat. 1000% They're chill just like me... once they're older.
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
Elf, probably. I love nature, I hate being allergic to it though.
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
Nah, I just skim youtube from time to time, no favorite.
16: How tall are you?
5'3.
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
I'd probably keep it in the realm it's already in. So, I'm Crystal. I go by Crys (Chris) so probably Christina.. or anything that could shorten it to Chris of sorts. It's just me.
18: How much do you weigh?
175-190, depends on if I've ate fast food recently or not. More averaged at 186, but it's jumped a lot the past few months. Goal weight is 125.
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
Sure. I don't disbelieve. Had a thing when i was a kid a few times that make me think something exists.. whether or not we know what it is.
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
Space. Stars. I love water don't get me wrong, but I'm more curious about what we can't physically reach.
21: Are you religious?
Nah.
22: Pet peeves?
Liars, people who try to grind my gears, people saying "I'm going to do it just to spite you." I'm tired of toxicity of people.
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
Diurnal. I'm defaulted to Nocturnal, so just eat some edibles and we're in bed by 10pm! :)
24: Favorite constellation?
Leo ;)
25: Favorite star?
Sirius, it shines the brightest.
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
I don't like dolls. They're creepy.
27: Any phobias or fears?
Irrational : Dolls, Being around people.
Rational : Heights, Closed Spaces t-t
28: Do you think global warming is real?
Fucking. Is this seriously a question? Of course it's real.
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
I actually like to. It gives me hope there's something after death.
30: Favorite movie?
I'm not sure I have a favorite movie...
31: Do you get scared easily?
Nah, but I love a good jump scare.
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
Christina - My first doggie, passed away when I was in 4th grade. She was a mini collie~
Alexi - My green/yellow parakeet. Passed away at roughly 2-3 years old.
Jiggy - My gray/white beautiful DHS big boi kitty. (2006-2016)
Momma - My loving calico who picked me over everyone. ;o; (2006-2018)
Wiggles - Adopted from my family, he's a tyrant! He loves his dad more than me tho... [rude] (2016-???)
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
You CC please.
34: What is a color that calms you?
Blue. Blue is always relaxing, especially softer/darker blues.
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
Travel wise, I want to visit a lot of places. Germany, UK, Canada... more specifically Niagara Falls..
Live wise, if I could, I'd live in Canada. However... I just want to live in the midwest, or east, somewhere more affordable in the US.
36: Where were you born?
Ohio!
37: What is your eye color?
Blue-gray.
38: Introvert or extrovert?
1000% introverted.
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
I think they're amusing as fuck. I don't believe/follow them 100%. I do like to imagine what it would be like if they were right though. I follow zodiac stuff way more than horoscope.
40: Hugs or kisses?
xoxoxo - Preferably hugs, they're for everyone! *HUGS*
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
Scotty! ( @warpedbelief )
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
@hyphenhero - My husbando.
43: Any piercings you want?
I really dunno any more. The only one I've been considering lately is Daith.
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
I don't dislike tattoos and piercings.
45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?
Cigarettes are disgusting. Be more descriptive of your "smoking." I have marijuana vapes I enjoy.
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
Well, I married him.
47: What is a sound you really hate?
Anything pitchy. My ears have been killing me the past year or so.
48: A sound you really love?
Meow.
49: Can you do a backflip?
HAHAHA No.
50: Can you do the splits?
Almost did them on accident the other day. It really hurt. (No)
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
Do voice actors count? Because then I'm between two. Johnny Yong Bosch and Matt Mercer.
52: Favorite movie?
Wasn't this asked already? I don't have one.
53: How are you feeling right now?
Tired.
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
I really want to bleach it blonde again.
55: When did you feel happiest?
Maybe when we first moved into our second apartment? The rent was cheaper, it was nice. I miss freedom.
Though, I also miss having a full guild of friends and getting along and having fun together.. Man I'm getting old.
56: Something that calms you down?
Marijuana primarily. Hugs. Kittens.
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
Anxiety, Depression, Memory issues xD Honestly you should just ask if there's stuff NOT wrong with me.
58: What does your URL mean?
It's a nickname a friend gave me 11 years ago. Holy crap. It's been 11 years.
59: What three words describe you the most?
Sassy, Bratty, Mom-ish.
60: Do you believe in evolution?
Yes.
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
Too much spam/boring content. Stuff I'm not interested in. Sometimes inactivity for years.
62: What makes you follow a blog?
Stuff I'm interested in typically.
63: Favorite kind of person:
People I can just talk to about anything. I like to talk. I don't like to be pestered and felt bad about not responding right away. I enjoy helping people. So I'm mostly a listener. I like to talk about stuff we're mutually interested in. Sometimes I love people I can debate with but not hate after (reasonable debates.) I guess I'm going to be that guy and copy what my friend said.. "Engaging, but not too much that I’m constantly tired. I like doing nothing, but doing nothing with the right person."
64: Favorite animal(s):
Cats. All the cats.
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
I don't really actively follow any specific blog in particular! :x
66: Favorite emoticon:
:smirk: (use it on discord... though if you played maplestory, it's an F3 equivalent... )
67: Favorite meme:
You said that tho?
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
INFJ-T
69: What is your star sign?
Leo
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
No dog, but you'd be damn right to guess I'd train them.
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
Any of the fluffy pjs with a thin tank top.
72: Post a selfie or two?
https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/me
https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/wedding
73: Do you have platform shoes?
Nah. I don't have heels either.
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
My memory is absolutely shit in most situations. However, in certain and RANDOM AF situations it can be clear as day. If I want to learn/remember something? Forget about it. If I could not care less about something? You'll be damn straight I'll remember it.
75: Can you do a front flip?
Lol, no.
76: Do you like birds?
Yeah, cept the annoying high pitched ones T_T
77: Do you like to swim?
I used to love to. I can't really be in the sun for long any more though.
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
Never been Ice Skating! Always wanted to try. I'd probably equally enjoy both.
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
Mosquitoes, Cancer, Violence.
On the violence part... It's mostly guns. If we had swordsman style fights - It'd be more interesting.
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
Cures to incurables.
Cancer, Epilepsy, Autism, etc.
(I'm an epilepsy survivor.)
81: Piercings you have?
Had an eyebrow piercing, lost it the same month I got it to pink eye.
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
Watching television. I miss reading. I have a hard time focusing on reading now.
83: Favorite person to talk to:
I have 3! Erwin (@hyphenhero) - My husband~
and my friends Scott (@warpedbelief) and Brandon.
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
What the fuck is this and why do people use it? inb4 I replaced wordpress with it.
85: How many followers do you have?
I don't really check. My Tumblr is mostly for me... and I just restarted fresh these past few months.
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
Maybe if I tried. Used to be able to run one in 6.
87: Do your socks always match?
Yeah.
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
HA, Never could.
89: What are your birthstones?
Peridot, Sardonyx, Spinel
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
Cat? Yes. Spoil me.
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
Tulips.
92: A store you hate?
Umm.... I don't know if I avoid any stores in particular....
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
1-2. My stomach gets pretty upset.
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
Fly. Definitely. I get lost in my own mind enough.
95: Do you like to wear camo?
Situationally.
96: Winter or summer?
Winter 100%. Hate the heat. Love the snow.
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
I don't know. Like 30 seconds maybe?
98: Least favorite person?
They who will not be named. It gives them too much attention.
99: Someone you look up to:
I used to look up to my mom a lot. Now I'm more-so my own person, I just do what I can to do right by me and my hubby.
100: A store you love?
Uhm.. Any cheap store... I don't really have a favorite. I guess amazon for saving me gas?
101: Favorite type of shoes
Skechers.
102: Where do you live?
California.
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
Nah. I love ham too much.
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
Cubic Zirconia actually. It's so undervalued but so pretty.
105: Do you drink milk?
Used to. Not really much any more.
106: Do you like bugs?
Sometimes. But not in the house.
107: Do you like spiders?
Sure, they get rid of the bad bugs.
108: Something you get paranoid about?
Being followed. Bugs crawling on me.
109: Can you draw:
Used to be able to. Not any more.
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
I don't know, I usually tell people anything they ask lol.
111: A question you hate being asked?
Any question I had previously already answered, and they just weren't paying attention.
Anything related to me/my own working/schooling.
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
Not that I can remember.
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
Yeah, it's really relaxing.
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
Cloudy, 100%
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
I would like to cuddle Momma right now.. Why you gotta go and make a girl sad for survey thing? (My calico that passed away last year..)
116: Favorite cloud type:
Cumulus, Cumulonimbus, and Nimbostratus. Yes I googled them for their names.
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
I honestly love the colors the sky is/can be, especially at sunrise and sunset.
118: Do you have freckles?
Yes, but you can only see them when I have a tan. So to anyone who hasn't seen me since I was 10, you'd never know I had them.
119: Favorite thing about a person:
How they treat people.
If they're kind to animals.
Eyes. Definitely eyes.
120: Fruits or vegetables?
Fruits @_@
121: Something you want to do right now:
Play Zelda - BoTW on Hard - but... I'm lazy.
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
Ocean. But they look best together.
123: Sweet or sour foods?
Candies or actual food? Food, sweet. Candies, sour.
124: Bright or dim lights?
Dim as you can go without causing me to have seizures over tiny little things.
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
I wish. Dragons would rock my world.
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
Yahoo owning it.
127: Something you love about Tumblr:
The freedom it USED to have.
128: What do you think about the least?
I dunno, I think about it the least... so it won't naturally come to me.
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
Carpe Diem
....heheheh.
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
Why would I name them? Again with the attention thing.
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
My Epilepsy. It's shown me who really gives a fuck about me, but also it's taken a lot from me.
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
No, I hate my teeth.
133: Computer or TV?
Computer, it offers more.
134: Do you like roller coasters?
Never been on one, definitely want to try.
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
Sometimes motion sickness, never got seasick tho.
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
Attatched.
137: Do you believe in karma?
I like to believe in Karma, but I really feel like people don't get their just desserts :(
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
-5
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
Crys, Crysti, Cryssi, Crysii, Ludacryst, Toxie, Punky, there's probably more but effort.
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
I am unsure.
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
Yes. More than one therapist.
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
Yes.
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
Giving.
144: What makes you angry?
Lots of little things. Dumb things. Mostly the way medical/doctors are here... Our president... a lot of things really.
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
I can barely manage English, you want me to learn more?!
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
I kinda answered this earlier.
147: Are you androgynous?
No.
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
My eye color.
149: Favorite thing about your personality:
I'm more willing to let people go if they make my life worse. I used to be terrible at that.
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
My Mom, Scooter, Matt Mercer.. (shh)
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
ANY ERA WITH KNIGHTS AND KINGDOMS AND WEEEEEEE............ (I like a lot of oldie based shows.)
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
Eh.
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
MapleStory. Not even remotely kidding.
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
Yes. I'm a very touchy person if I trust the person. I prefer hugs on most though. Forehead is pretty sentimental to me.
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
Sometimes, yeah.
156: What embarrasses you?
My teeth, my weight, a lot of things.
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
People. Crowds. Planes. Heights. New Doctors.
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
If it's the biggest lie I've ever told, do you think I'm going to out myself on social media?
159: How many people are you following?
Fuck if I know... I'm too lazy to check.
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
See #159
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
See #159
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
See #159
163: Last time you cried and why:
It's been over a lot of things. My health, my families health, my cat, hurting myself, etc.
164: Do you have long or short hair?
Medium?
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
Just below my shoulders.
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?
Neutral mostly, because you can't prove or disprove a god exists. Just because you haven't seen something does that mean it's not there? Also, just because you believe in something, does it mean that it exists really? I'm agnostic.
Though Wicca seems like a more reasonable religion in most aspects (I've dabbled in research, I hope that doesn't offend anyone.)
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
Not really. I just care if it's gonna blow up before I die.
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
Like? Not usually, it just helps me feel a little better sometimes.
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
Nope.
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?
As much as I could.
1 note
·
View note
Note
Ya know what -- since you did it to me, imma do it to you ALL 170
UGH I deserved this
1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I’m fine with my height tbh2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) PENGUIN3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? I literally wear nothing but musical T-Shirts4: What was your favorite video game growing up? oh god. that’s a tough one. Prolly Kingdom Hearts or the Pokemon games5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: uhhh... the girl I like, my snapchat streaks bc i suck at them, and sleep6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Warning: forever alone7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? no8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] I have no idea9: Are you ticklish? I think? no one has tried in a while so idk10: Are you allergic to anything? nope!11: What’s your sexuality? straight af12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Hot Cocoa 13: Are you a cat or dog person? DOGS14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Vampire15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? nope16: How tall are you? tf if I know. Maybe like 5′8″ I think?17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I wouldn’t18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] like 130ish I think19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? YES THEY ARE TERRIFYING20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space!21: Are you religious? not really22: Pet peeves? people leaving me on read and ignoring me and avoiding me. 23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? I already am nocturnal so24: Favorite constellation? I have no idea25: Favorite star? Also have no idea26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? wat27: Any phobias or fears? SPIDERS. 28: Do you think global warming is real? I mean, it’s January 9th and we’ve yet to have actual snowfall so29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I don’t know30: Favorite movie? no clue31: Do you get scared easily? HAHA YEP32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? a few fish, 2 dogs, a hamster33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] ∞/10 obviously34: What is a color that calms you? uh. purple maybe bc it’s my favorite35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? I would LOVE to travel to London and Paris36: Where were you born? Holyoke, MA37: What is your eye color? Brown38: Introvert or extrovert? kinda both39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? idk40: Hugs or kisses? never been kissed so... hugs41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? The girl i like obviously42: Who is someone you love deeply? no43: Any piercings you want? no44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? I don’t mind them45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? never have, never will46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! even if she’s been a pain lately and stuff has been rough... she’s wonderful and makes me happy and i adore her and talking to her and the fact that I get to work with her makes my awful job a little tolerable knowing there’s one good thing there I get to look forward to seeing at work when the job sucks. 47: What is a sound you really hate? tf if I know48: A sound you really love? quiet49: Can you do a backflip? nope50: Can you do the splits? LOL nope51: Favorite actor and/or actress? jfc uh I don’t know there are so many to pick from! I never really pick favorites52: Favorite movie? why is this asked a second time?53: How are you feeling right now? awful lmfao54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I like it the way it is55: When did you feel happiest? 2 years 3 months ago even tho that shouldn’t be my answer.56: Something that calms you down? sleep57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] not that I know of?58: What does your URL mean? It’s a song from Finding Neverland!59: What three words describe you the most? useless, uglyaf, yeah60: Do you believe in evolution? I mean, we had to get here somehow?61: What makes you unfollow a blog? I don’t ever usually62: What makes you follow a blog? no idea, just kinda do63: Favorite kind of person: nice people64: Favorite animal(s): dog, penguin65: Name three of your favorite blogs. @thewomaninlilywhite @putawaythefairytales @thoughtsofabasketcase66: Favorite emoticon: 😂 this is my most used one67: Favorite meme: NO68: What is your MBTI personality type? i have no idea69: What is your star sign? Scorpio70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? LOL NOPE71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? literally any musical related thing72: Post a selfie or two? NO73: Do you have platform shoes? why would i74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I’m not interesting75: Can you do a front flip? no76: Do you like birds? penguins77: Do you like to swim? I never really go swimming78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? prolly swimming bc I’d prolly die ice skating79: Something you wish didn’t exist: me lol jk... but spiders80: Some thing you wish did exist: my happiness ahaha81: Piercings you have? none82: Something you really enjoy doing: sleep, sing, perform83: Favorite person to talk to: the girl i like..?84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? this is stupid lmao85: How many followers do you have? 101 bc i don’t do anything on here86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? prolly87: Do your socks always match? yes88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? nope89: What are your birthstones? Tourmaline and Opal90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? a penguin91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? i have no idea92: A store you hate? MY JOB93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 094: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? read minds95: Do you like to wear camo? nah96: Winter or summer? summer97: How long can you hold your breath for? never counted98: Least favorite person? lol99: Someone you look up to: every talented person100: A store you love? idk101: Favorite type of shoes what102: Where do you live? Massachussets 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? nope104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? no idea105: Do you drink milk? yeah106: Do you like bugs? eh107: Do you like spiders? HAHA NO108: Something you get paranoid about? literally everything in my life109: Can you draw: nope110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? uhhh idk111: A question you hate being asked? “omg you’ve never been with a girl are you gay???” jfc people it gets old and annoying112: Ever been bitten by a spider? who hasn’t...?113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? suree114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? depends on if it’s nice or not even with clouds115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: -_- obviously the girl i like116: Favorite cloud type: the ones that don’t produce snow117: What color do you wish the sky was? it’s fine the way it is118: Do you have freckles? a few119: Favorite thing about a person: honesty.120: Fruits or vegetables? veggies prolly?121: Something you want to do right now: die I mean sleep122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? ocean123: Sweet or sour foods? sweet124: Bright or dim lights? dim125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? dragons are obviously real126: Something you hate about Tumblr: idk127: Something you love about Tumblr: also idk128: What do you think about the least? *shrugs*129: What would you want written on your tombstone? idk130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? A LOT OF PEOPLE131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? I don’t 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? no133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? yesss135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? nope136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed 137: Do you believe in karma? YEP138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -10000000000139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Joey lol140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I have friends?141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? no142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? I try to be a good one143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? giving144: What makes you angry people145: How many languages do you speak fluently? one146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls147: Are you androgynous? what?148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: nothing149: Favorite thing about your personality: also nothing150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. no151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? uhhhh152: Do you like BuzzFeed? eh i don’t hate it153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] FOREVER ALONE154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? never kissed155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? forever. alone. 156: What embarrasses you? my face157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: idk158: Biggest lie you have ever told: I try not to159: How many people are you following? 64160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 647161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 0162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 460163: Last time you cried and why: Last day of Little Mermaid I literally SOBBED when I said bye to my Jetsam and Ursula bc they were literally my rocks over the previous 3 weeks to that because my life was just downright horrible and they were the only good part about it at the time164: Do you have long or short hair? short165: Longest your hair has ever been: not too long166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? just don’t care lol167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? eh168: Do you like to wear makeup? no169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? prolly not170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yes
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
1-169, asshole
lol i love you
1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
like 6′ would be perfect
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
uh. dragon? dragon.
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
anything that you look at and you can’t decide if it’s jock or goth
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
spyro was the only series i was allowed to play and i lived for it
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
whatever i’m hyperfixated on that month, sleep, and ciaran
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
warning: nearly pure taurus energy, scorpio ascending
7: What is your opinion on alpacas?
they’re fluffy and better than llamas
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
melancholic is what i just got, but it switches between that and sanguine all the time
9: Are you ticklish?
yes.
10: Are you allergic to anything?
am i not allergic to anything?
11: What’s your sexuality?
pan
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
cocoa or tea, just never coffee
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
cat
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
merperson hands fucking down
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
bazza or muselk probably
16: How tall are you?
5′6ish
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
uh. well. you see. it’s jay.
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
lmao no
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
yes, i do
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
i’m a “look at those stars” kind of person, but my room growing up was painted like it was underwater, so. both.
21: Are you religious?
lmao
22: Pet peeves?
harley licking my things
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
i’d rather be diurnal because, uh, functioning human. i am nocturnal though.
24: Favorite constellation?
dickbutt
25: Favorite star?
me
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
i don’t like dolls, but those are the cutest
27: Any phobias or fears?
sure
28: Do you think global warming is real?
look outside right now and tell me it’s not
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
yeah, there have been enough instances of actual cases that it’s pretty hard for me to personally deny, so
30: Favorite movie?
it cycles, i still love heathers tho
31: Do you get scared easily?
kind of? not really?
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
not counting fish and including harley, 7
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
valid to eat fingers
34: What is a color that calms you?
blue and certain shades of red
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
i’m really liking washington?? i’d like to travel anywhere
36: Where were you born?
sanford, florida. hrugh.
37: What is your eye color?
blue-green
38: Introvert or extrovert?
extroverted introvert?
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
it gets spooky sometimes, but like. not on a basic level for sure.
40: Hugs or kisses?
depends
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
ngl, my sisters
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
everyone i love? uh
43: Any piercings you want?
re-pierce my cartilage and get a few more lobe piercings and just like stab me and put something in it and i’ll love it
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
yes.
45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?
i’ve smoked weed, but like. eh. cigarettes are gross, they smell and feel and taste awful.
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
i don’t have a crush on anyone lol
47: What is a sound you really hate?
ticking
48: A sound you really love?
trains really late at night.
49: Can you do a backflip?
no
50: Can you do the splits?
the splits? no
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
winona ryder
52: Favorite movie?
uh h hh h i already answered this
53: How are you feeling right now?
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
i just dyed it but i really want it to be red again. it was like a sunset red for a while during the fading process and i’d kill for that all the time.
55: When did you feel happiest?
when a cat touched me with her tiny feet
56: Something that calms you down?
cats and their tiny feet
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
58: What does your URL mean?
it’s based on something i said when i was not myself. i said i’d died before and i’d do it again. so i’m functionally immortal.
59: What three words describe you the most?
really fucking tired
60: Do you believe in evolution?
it’s. science.
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
a lot. i’m not above doing things for petty reasons.
62: What makes you follow a blog?
being interested in what they post??
63: Favorite kind of person:
me
64: Favorite animal(s):
cats, snakes, birds
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
@heathersadapt, @heatherspoisson, @dirtyheathersconfessions
66: Favorite emoticon:
:}€
67: Favorite meme:
horse memes. like. valid to eat fingers.
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
infp
69: What is your star sign:
taurus
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
lmao no
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
my work clothes or my pajamas
72: Post a selfie or two?
no
73: Do you have platform shoes?
GOD I WISH
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
i’m the bird friend
75: Can you do a front flip?
no
76: Do you like birds?
i love birds
77: Do you like to swim?
of course i do
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
swimming
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
do you want to see my blacklist or something
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
fire magic. i wish fire magic were real.
81: Piercings you have?
just ears at the moment, cartilage closed up lmao
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
sleeping, eating ice cream, listening to music. pick from my faves.
83: Favorite person to talk to:
ciaran??
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
god it sucks here
85: How many followers do you have?
222 and only 111 of them are spam
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
in middle school, which was the last time i tried, i ran a mile in 6 minutes and 46 seconds
87: Do your socks always match?
fuck no that’s hard
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
yes
89: What are your birthstones?
diamond? stones?
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
a cockatoo probably
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
i don’t fucking know
92: A store you hate?
walmart and the ones that smell bad in the mall
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
many, but i hate coffee so i drink none
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
fly, i don’t want to know what’s going through anyone else’s mind
95: Do you like to wear camo?
no. i did in elementary school.
96: Winter or summer?
winter
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
long enough to cross the bridge in spirited away
98: Least favorite person?
it’s all family all the way
99: Someone you look up to:
myself
100: A store you love?
target, lush
101: Favorite type of shoes
boots!! boots!!!! i also like sneakers
102: Where do you live?
outside of seattle
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
no i like meat
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
uhhhh opals are the most diverse and coolest?
105: Do you drink milk?
ye
106: Do you like bugs?
ye
107: Do you like spiders?
ye
108: Something you get paranoid about?
hhhh
109: Can you draw:
yes, but is it good? absolutely not
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
this one
111: A question you hate being asked?
this one
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
i lived in florida. yes.
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
i love them
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
cloudy, i moved to washington for a reason
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
i’m comfortable right now actually
116: Favorite cloud type:
the kind in the sky
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
i wish i caught the sunset today
118: Do you have freckles?
no :(
119: Favorite thing about a person:
varies person to person
120: Fruits or vegetables?
i’m allergic to most fruits i like, but i like them more than vegetables anyways, so.
121: Something you want to do right now:
sleep or play bbs
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
they’re both gorgeous, fuck off
123: Sweet or sour foods?
depends on the mood
124: Bright or dim lights?
dim, mostly
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
me, i believe in me
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
tumblr
127: Something you love about Tumblr:
friends
128: What do you think about the least?
i don’t think about it, i don’t know
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
believe it
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
i have a list
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
me
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
not normally, no
133: Computer or TV?
computer
134: Do you like roller coasters?
yes
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
only sometimes
136: Are your ears lobed or attached
attached
137: Do you believe in karma?
no, bad people don’t always get what’s coming to them and it sucks
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
like 5?
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
hate nicknames
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
nah
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
yeah, she sucked
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
it depends on the person???? i’m both
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
both are good!
144: What makes you angry
family
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
none, i can’t speak
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
yes
147: Are you androgynous?
god i wish, my boobs are too big
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
my hair is so fucking fluffy
149: Favorite thing about your personality:
i don’t have one
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
ciaran, i’m good.
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
BT: before trump
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
no, but i’m on it all the time.
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
i met my partner in being broke in high school
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
no
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
ya
156: What embarrasses you?
i just told ciaran i wore camo in elementary school and that’s embarrassing
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
anxiety
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
idk i don’t keep track
159: How many people are you following?
451
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
14199
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
23
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
4190
163: Last time you cried and why:
i dont remember
164: Do you have long or short hair?
mid length
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
to my butt
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?
i was raised roman catholic by overbearing adults with racist views so im not friends w religion anymore
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
no
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
sometimes
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
no
1 note
·
View note
Text
1. Staring to think the FSB really did ‘accidentally’ lose track of some material and maybe that is the next step in the Covid era
2. ‘Chain of care / adoption / ownership’ - whose kid belongs to whom, fighting with colleagues over my piano-teacher’s four daughters and one son, they all seemed happy. ‘That’s a reason to hate’ - it was a long time ago, however, and the nature of the hate has changed. I no longer know domestic attitudes and probably there are few adoptions going on at all. Maybe nowadays everyone’s happy and have the same values.
I feel woozy and beyond horrible that I haven’t lived up to my own and may have contributed to misunderstanding rather than understanding. I pray that the details I share will give a bass-note of sorts but I sincerely feel conflicted about educational philosophy particularly w/r/t teaching dark things to children at a young age rather than teach biblical values with some kind of rigorous but kind system or embody these values tacitly(?). We learned about Shoah, abortion, WWII Pacific.
3. ‘Love-stories that begin with movies’ - and yet, I heard music (’Sheep May’).
4. ‘A Millionaire’s First Love’ - give everything at once, a vow, a strong hand. I might have made a mistake in my lack of preparation or in not continuing to give.
5. ‘The Bridge of Life.’ ‘Scholar-David’ trying to be some kind of scholar, I examine the paradigms, Confucius, New Testament, later Old Testament, old and new - ‘keeping the old alive.’ Emerson says the scholar of one candle understands the desires of others but it seems a dangerous idea. Trying to figure out others’ minds all the time is catering if not communism or manipulation. I preferred the other one who knew what to say or decided that they could speak without having to explain why they were saying what they were saying but perhaps this too is fiction. I said something about knowing someone else’s dream and BigBoss got mad at me, what do you know about love, boy - I thought he was being prideful but in retrospect I couldn’t judge, maybe.
I also judged myself - ‘disappointed.’ ‘You do not have the right to judge!’ Eating some vegetables. I don’t know why I said that but in retrospect was possibly trying a kind of maneuver to show someone something. I was happy or satisfied.
6. History was still going on. When _ _ put their hands on my trapezius or neck-muscles or so, this sad-eyed person who in retrospect as not as vulnerable as I was or at least not as feckless, I was reading in the NYT about Raqqa, this distant darkness. What a horrible name, to my ear. It’s very old. Their leader is so ugly. Trump said he died crying which is something to say but I would bet a person like that - I just don’t know what I don’t know; I’m a child of the ‘90s; The ‘EJE’ of bin Laden, the people partying outside the White House making me think of Return of the Jedi to be honest. Ewoks. Years later Director Brennan writes about how pleased he is that real, ordinary, every day Americans are chanting, ‘CIA! CIA!’ Brennan lived in Egypt, studied Arabic. It was also JSOC though a lot of people think about DEVGRU, ST6. This amazing NYT phoo of the ‘operator’s back-muscles amid this gear, later talking with my med school dropout friend about how the SEALs shoot off more ammunition in markmanship-training than like the entire Marine Corps to achieve expertise but then it’s the NYT and they ill say anything that sounds like, ‘CCP deserves to rule the world due to hard work / culture of achievement / Xiang Yu decapitating himself after killing tens of thousands of innocent villages just to get the arcade record or sth’ and I read One Bullet Away and the officer there ignited a lot of propellant(?) as well to make sure he had the highest qualification for his men. McRaven with the ‘devil horns’ at his speech - I’m a McChrystal fundamentalist I think he should ‘kill everyone.’ If medicine- and food-dist fail as I think they might who’s gonna manage stuff the Postal Service? I felt like what’s even going on in his head all the time, 20-hour day, work out with men half his age, 60-page report, one meal. Feel I could do that if I had a ‘place.’ I keep hearing ‘Diffugere Nives’ in my head - ‘say to thy soul’ - I hate that; I’m not Greco-Roman; I want to be post-heroic; I don’t want to participate in war; I don’t even want to go to soi disant ‘professional school’ b/c the people seem burned out and sad to put it too simplistically, I have no idea what they’ve seen. S’hai-1 who was ‘an aurora; White Goddess’ (again I hate to use non-Christian figures of speech but perhaps one could call her a ‘viatrix?’ - traveler? - Yeats ‘pilgrim soul’ - someone trying to carry a baby to safety or carry a destiny?) at 24 in NYC and of whom I wondered during Covid what kind of valley of the shadow she was passing through now she seems like a child. I was reflecting, ‘The psychopathology of the Millennial Generation, the situation, becoming a child then an adult then a child again’ but IDK if that is everyone or just my mom or whatever happened with Taeyeon between ‘Purpose’ (my wife who is also my co-educational-administrator at work / Math Dept. Head Ancient and world Languages Dept. Head or ‘Chief of Staff’) then with ‘What Do I Call You’ that I am thinking, ‘Egad and Mein Gott this is about confirmation of religious identity,’ and how in the future people will value (non-productive or what psychoanalysts might call ‘aim-inhibited’) interactions or presence. That is why my friend’s internet-friend is in ‘Obama’s dream’ with some kind of caffeinated cold beverage - why I think about ‘You Love Me’ as a kind of ‘Min Jin Lee chapter title’ where it is like, oh you love me. Cagey people, holding their cards, saying stuff lke John Green novels where they seem not sure if they are talking about love, living a story, experience, realization. I respect John Green, and wondered for a time why my YAL ‘Reading Interests of Adolescents’ professor didn’t like him till I figured out that ‘Alaska’ is kind of like ‘let’s consume women + let’s be degen adventurers’ and ‘Fault in Stars’ appears to posit r/Romantic couple-love as well as teens teaching other teens as some valid defiance of the world. My old classmates liked to ‘Braveheart’ in the backyard talking about fighting; I remember the execution-scene and how the French princess is like, ‘your son is le cuckold! - Franco-Scottish blood will prevail!’ (A decade or more later the notorious album Exodus 2004 said, ‘Can you and I start mixing gene-pools / Eastern Western people get naughty multilingual’ The sex-as-defiance trope is ubiquitous ‘Three Days of Condor.’ ‘The Terminator’ (’Terminator 1′) I guess is more high-minded and less ‘70-s-self-involved or stuck in its own time than ‘Condor’ in that the child actually does save the world later on or at least get rid of some machines.
I now wish that I had spent less time trying to be normal or looking at the other couples at RU and more time working on ‘2003′ as I felt like I understood more what would happen when two people set out to ‘create’ or ‘own’ their own existence / life in a time where identity and personal interests were under attack or being overdetermined or driven or appropriated or conscripted by governmental and social developments such as the Iraq War whereby I felt all the worthwhile women were just looking for men at arms and the rest were ‘sub-culture; the anime club.’ I hesitated between two spheres as I felt that one had obvious impact, the other authenticity.
I believed in ‘soft sci f’ for a long time and pared down my ambitions over time by diluting them with ‘Updikeana’ as I call it or ‘Austeneana’ or any kind of pathos or sympathy or showing of characters’ weakness or lack of virtue. IDK if ought to publish this but 2016 I decided to delete everything and was onl left with ‘To Have Everything’ ad one other thing; THE was about nuclear terrorism and divorce basically. I guess was already partaking of frankly the pleasures of evil - t’d be great if our dreams didn’t come true and instead many people died and our love-systems failed due to our greed or impatience or mismanagement or engaging targets of opportunity. I again was writing ‘naively’ and didn’t know what I meant or why, was only concerned with the one and beauty and whatever ‘resonance’ it had with my own feelings or soul; I was interested in the way that people grow apart not only through physical distance at times but through divergent interests or at least that I could tell at the time, though, in retrospect I feel as if everyone were feeling or believing the same fundamental things and even understood that there would be a pandemic.
0 notes
Text
Upcoming Must-See Movies in 2021
https://ift.tt/2LtrBLV
It’s 2021. Finally. If you’re reading this, it means you’ve hopefully gotten through the wreckage of last year unscathed and are ready for a brighter future. And if you’re also a movie lover, this certainly includes a trip (or 20) back to the cinemas. Although a month into the new year, and our hope for a better tomorrow has faded a bit–especially with new COVID variants spreading. Yet there is reason to remain warily optimistic. Yes, including about theaters
For nearly a year now cinemas have remained largely dormant, and given the already shuffling 2021 film calendar, that will continue for the foreseeable future. However, studios (with one notable exception) remain mostly committed to getting new films to the theater this year, and the current 2021 film slate gives reasons to be hopeful.
Indeed, 2021 promises many of the most anticipated films from last year, plus new surprises. From the superhero variety like Black Widow to the art house with Wes Anderson’s The French Dispatch, 2021 could be a much needed respite. So below is just a sampling of what to expect from the year to come…
Judas and the Black Messiah
February 12
It’s kind of hard to wrap one’s head around the annual “Oscar race” in a year when little trophies don’t seem so damn important, but Warner Bros. feels strongly enough about this movie that it’s getting it into theaters and on HBO Max right in the thick of the pandemic-delayed awards season. And judging by the marketing, it’s bringing heat with it.
Shaka King directs and co-writes the story of Fred Hampton (Daniel Kaluuya), who became the chairman of the Illinois chapter of the Black Panther Party in the late 1960s and was murdered in cold blood by police in 1969. LaKeith Stanfield plays William O’Neal, a petty criminal who agreed to help the FBI take Hampton down. This promises to be incendiary, relevant material — and it’s almost here.
Minari
February 12
Lee Isaac Chung directs Steven Yeun–now fully shaking off his years as Glenn on The Walking Dead–in this semi-autobiographical film about a South Korean family struggling to settle down in rural America in the 1980s. Premiering nearly a year ago at the Sundance Film Festival, where it won both the U.S. Dramatic Grand Jury Prize and the U.S. Dramatic Audience Award, Minari had a quick one-week virtual release in December, with a number of critics placing it on their Top 10 lists for 2020.
Its story of immigration and assimilation currently has a perfect 100 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes, with critics lauding its heart, grace, and sensitivity. A few of ours also considered it among 2020’s best.
Nomadland
February 19
Utilizing both actors and real people, director Chloé Zhao (The Rider, Marvel’s upcoming Eternals) chronicles the lives of America’s “forgotten people” as they travel the West searching for work, companionship and community. A brilliant Frances McDormand stars as Fern, a woman in her mid-60s who lost her husband, her house, and her entire previous existence when her town literally vanished following the closure of its sole factory.
Zhao’s film quietly flows from despair to optimism and back to despair again, the hardscrabble lives of its itinerant cast (many of them actual nomads) foregrounded against often stunning–if lonely–vistas of the vast, empty American countryside.
I Care a Lot
February 19
A solid cast, led by Rosamund Pike, Peter Dinklage, Chris Messina, and Dianne Wiest, star in this satirical crime drama from director J. Blakeson (The Disappearance of Alice Creed). Pike plays Marla, a con artist whose scam is getting herself named legal guardian of her elderly marks and then draining their assets while sticking them in nursing homes. She’s ruthless and efficient at it, until she meets a woman (Wiest) whose ties to a crime boss (Dinklage) may prove too much of a challenge for the wily Marla. It was one of our favorites out of Toronto last year.
The Father
February 26
Anthony Hopkins gives a mesmerizing, and deeply tragic, performance as Anthony, an elderly British man whose descent into dementia is reflected by the film itself, which plays with time, setting, and continuity until both Anthony and the viewer can no longer tell what is real and what is not. Olivia Colman is equally moving as his daughter, who wants to get on with her own life even as she watches her father’s disintegrate in front of her.
We saw The Father last year at the AFI Fest and it ended up being a favorite of 2020; Hopkins is unforgettable in this bracing, heartbreaking work, which is stunningly adapted by first-time director Florian Zeller from his own award-winning play.
Chaos Walking
March 5
This constantly postponed sci-fi project has become one of those “we’ll believe it when we see it” films until it actually comes out. Shot nearly three and a half years ago by director Doug Liman, Chaos Walking has undergone extensive reshoots and was at one point reportedly deemed unreleasable.
Based on the book The Knife of Letting Go, it places Tom Holland (Spider-Man: Far From Home) and Daisy Ridley (The Rise of Skywalker) on a distant planet where Ridley, the only woman, can hear the thoughts of all the men due to a mysterious force called the Noise.
Raya and the Last Dragon
March 5
Longtime Walt Disney Animation Studios head of story, Paul Briggs (Frozen), will make his directorial debut on this original Disney animated fantasy, which draws upon Eastern traditions to tell the tale of a young warrior who goes searching for the world’s last dragon in the mysterious land of Kumandra. Cassie Steele will voice Raya while Awkwafina (The Farewell) will portray Sisu the dragon.
Read more
Movies
How Raya and the Last Dragon Became the First Disney Movie Made at Home
By David Crow
Movies
Warner Bros. and HBO Max 2021 Film Slate Destroys Theatrical Window
By David Crow
Disney Animation has been nearly invincible in recent years with other hits like Moana and Zootopia, so watch for this one to be another major hit for the Mouse.
Coming 2 America
March 5
The notion of whether nostalgia-based properties are still viable has cropped up repeatedly in the last few years. However, streaming, which is where Coming 2 America finds itself headed post-COVID, makes golden oldies much safer. This sequel—based on a 32-year-old comedy that was one of Eddie Murphy’s most financially successful hits—sees Murphy back as Prince Akeem, of course, along with Arsenio Hall returning as his loyal friend Semmi.
The plot revolves around Akeem’s discovery, just as he is about to be crowned king, that he has a long-lost son living in the States (we’re not sure how that happened, but let’s just go with it). That, of course, necessitates another visit to our shores—that is, if Akeem and Semmi presumably don’t get stopped at the border. The film reunites Murphy with Dolemite is My Name director Craig Brewer, so perhaps they can make some cutting-edge social comedy out of this?
Godzilla vs. Kong
March 26
Here we are, at last at the big punch up between Godzilla and King Kong. They both wear a crown, but in the film that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures have been building toward since 2014, only one can walk away with the title of the king of all the monsters.
Admittedly, not everyone loved the last American Godzilla movie, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, but we sure did. Still, Godzilla vs. Kong should be a different animal with Adam Wingard (You’re Next, The Guest) taking over directorial duties. It also has a stacked cast with some familiar faces (Kyle Chandler, Millie Bobby Brown, and Ziyi Zhang) and plenty of new ones (Alexander Skarsgård, Eiza González, Danai Gurira, Lance Reddick, and more).
It’ll probably be better than the original, right? And hey with its HBO Max rollout, questions of a poor box office run sure are conveniently mooted!
Mortal Kombat
April 16
Not to be deterred by the relative failure of Sony’s Monster Hunter in theaters at the tail end of 2020, Warner Bros. is giving this venerable video game franchise another shot at live-action cinematic glory after two previous tries in the 1990s. Director Simon McQuoid makes his feature debut while the script comes from Dave Callaham (Wonder Woman 1984, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) and the cast includes a number of actors you’ve seen in other films but can’t quite place.
The plot? Who knows! But we’re guessing it will feature gods, demons, and warriors battling for control of the 18 realms in various fighting tournaments. What else do you want?
Black Widow
May 7
Some would charitably say it arrives a decade late, but Black Widow is finally getting her own movie. This is fairly remarkable considering she became street pizza in Avengers: Endgame, but this movie fits snugly between the events of Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War. It also promises to be the most pared down Marvel Studios movie since 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and that’s a good thing.
In the film, Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff is on the run after burning her bridges with the U.S. government and UN. This brings her back to the spy games she thought she’d escaped from her youth, and back in the orbit of her “sister” Yelena (Florence Pugh). Old wounds are ripped open, old Soviet foes, including David Harbour as the Red Guardian and Rachel Weisz as Nat and Yelena’s girlhood instructor, are revealed, and many a fight sequence with minimal CGI will be executed.
How’s that for a real start to Phase 4? Of course that’s still assuming this comes out before The Eternals after it was delayed, again, due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Those Who Wish Me Dead
May 14
Taylor Sheridan is among the best writers in moviemaking right now. Having all but cornered the niche around modern Westerns, he’s responsible for the scripts for Hell or High Water, both Sicarios, and Wind River, the latter of which he also directed. He’s back in the director’s chair again for Those Who Wish Me Dead, which has been described as a “female-driven neo-Western” set in the Montana wilderness. It is there a teenager witnesses a murder, and he finds himself on the run from twin assassins, and in need of protection from a likely paranoid survivalist. The film stars Angelina Jolie, Jon Bernthal, Nicholas Hoult, Tyler Perry, Aidan Gillen, Jake Weber, and Finn Little.
Spiral
May 21
Chris Rock has co-written the story for a new take on the Saw franchise. Never thought we’d write those words! The fact that it also stars Rock, as well as Samuel L. Jackson, is likewise head-turning. It looks like they’re going for legitimate horror with Darren Lynn Bousman attached to direct after helming three of the Saw sequels, and its grisly pre-COVID trailer from last year.
Hopefully this will be better than most of the franchise that came before, and given the heavily David Fincher-influenced tone of the first trailer, we’re willing to cross our fingers and play this game.
Free Guy
May 21
What would you do if you discovered that you were just a background character in an open world video game—and that the game was soon about to go offline? That’s the premise of this existential sci-fi comedy from director Shawn Levy, best known for the Night at the Museum series and as an executive producer and director on Stranger Things. Ryan Reynolds stars as Guy, a bank teller who discovers that his life is not what he thought it was, and in fact isn’t even real—or is it? We’ve seen a preview of footage, so we’d suggest you think Truman Show, if Truman was trapped in Grand Theft Auto.
F9
May 28
Just when you thought this never-say-die franchise had shown us everything it could possibly dream up, it ups the stakes one more time: the ninth entry in the Fast and Furious saga (excluding 2019’s Hobbs and Shaw) will reportedly take Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his cohorts into space as they battle Dom’s long-lost brother Jakob (John Cena, making a long-overdue debut in this series). Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Jordana Brewster, Helen Mirren, and Charlize Theron all also return, as does director Justin Lin, who took a two-film break from his signature series. Expect to see the required physics-defying stunts, logic-defying action and even more talk about “family” than usual.
Cruella
May 28
Since Disney has already made an animated 101 Dalmatians in 1961 and a live-action remake in 1996, it is apparently time to tell the story again Maleficent-style. Hence we now focus on the viewpoint of iconic villainess Cruella de Vil, played this time by Emma Stone. She’s joined in the movie by Emma Thompson, Paul Walter Hauser, and Mark Strong, with direction handled by Craig Gillespie (sort of a step down from 2017’s I, Tonya, if you ask us).
The story has been updated to the 1970s, but Cruella–now a fashion designer–still covets the fur of dogs for her creations. This is a Mouse House joint, so don’t expect it to get too dark, and don’t be completely surprised if it ends up as a premium on Disney+ in lieu of its already delayed theatrical release.
Infinite
May 28
This sci-fi yarn from director Antoine Fuqua (The Equalizer) stars Mark Wahlberg as a man experiencing what he thinks are hallucinations, but which turn out to be memories from past lives. He soon learns that there is a secret society of people just like him, except that they have total recall of their past identities and have acted to change the course of history throughout the centuries.
Based on the novel The Reincarnationist Papers by D. Eric Maikranz, this was originally a post-Marvel vehicle for Chris Evans. He dropped out, and the combination of Fuqua and Wahlberg hints at something more action-oriented than the rather cerebral premise suggests. The film also stars Sophie Cookson, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Dylan O’Brien.
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
June 4
James Wan is already directing a new horror film this year so he’s stepping away from the directorial duties on the third film based on the paranormal investigations of Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga). That task has fallen to Michael Chaves (The Curse of La Llorona), so expect plenty of the same Wan Universe touches: heavy atmosphere, superb use of sound, and shocking, eerie visuals.
Details are scarce, but the plot—like the other two Conjuring films—is taken from the true-life case of a man who went on trial for murder and said as his defense that he was possessed by a demon when he committed his crimes. That’s all we know for now, except that, intriguingly, Mitchell Hoog and Megan Ashley Brown have been cast as younger versions of the Warrens.
In the Heights
June 18
Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first Broadway hit musical gets the big screen treatment (by way of HBO Max) from director Jon M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians). Set in Washington Heights over the course of a three-day heat wave, the plot and ensemble cast carry echoes of both Rent and Do the Right Thing. While a success on the stage—if not quite the cultural phenomenon that Miranda’s next show, Hamilton—it remains to be seen whether In the Heights can strike a chord with streaming audiences.
Luca
June 18
Continuing its current run of all-new, non-sequel original films started in 2020 with Onward and Soul, Pixar will unveil Luca this summer. Directed by Enrico Casarosa–making his feature debut after 18 years with the animation powerhouse–the film tells the story of a friendship between a human being and a sea monster (disguised as another human child) on the Italian Riviera. That’s about all we have on it for now, except that the cast includes Drake Bell and John Ratzenberger.
Pixar’s recent track record has included masterpieces like Inside Out, solid sequels like Toy Story 4, and shakier propositions like The Incredibles 2, but we don’t have any indication yet of what to expect from Luca.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage
June 25
Can anyone honestly say that 2018’s Venom was a “good” movie? A batshit insane movie, yes, and perhaps even an entertaining one in its own nutty way, but good or not, it made nearly a billion bucks at the box office so here we are.
Tom Hardy will return to peel more scenery down with his teeth as both Eddie Brock and his fanged, towering alien symbiote while Woody Harrelson will fulfill his destiny and play Cletus Kasady, aka Carnage, the perfected hybrid of psychopathic serial killer and red pile of vicious alien goo. Let the carnage begin!
Top Gun: Maverick
July 2
It’s been 34 years since Tom Cruise first soared through the skies as hotshot pilot Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, and he’ll take to the air once more in a sequel that also features Val Kilmer, Jennifer Connelly, Miles Teller, Jon Hamm, and more. The flying and action sequences from director Joseph Kosinski (who worked with Cruise on Oblivion) will undoubtedly be first-rate, but the studio (Paramount) has to be nervous after seeing one nostalgia-based franchise after another (Blade Runner, Charlie’s Angels, Terminator, The Shining) crash and burn recently.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
July 10
With Shang-Chi, Marvel Studios hopes to do for Asian culture what the company did with the groundbreaking Black Panther nearly three years ago: create another superhero epic with a non-white lead and a mythology steeped in a non-Western culture. Simu Liu stars in the title role as the “master of kung fu,” who must do battle with the nefarious Ten Rings organization and its leader, the Mandarin (the “real” one, not the imposter from Iron Man 3, played here by the legendary Tony Leung). Director Destin Daniel Cretton (Just Mercy) will open up a whole new corner of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with this story and character, whose origins stretch back to 1973.
The Forever Purge
July 9
One day nearly eight years ago, you went to see a low-budget dystopian sci-fi/horror flick called The Purge, and the next thing you know, it’s 2021 and you’re getting ready to see the fifth and allegedly final entry in the series (which has also spawned a TV show). Written by creator James DeMonaco and directed by Everardo Gout, the film will once again focus on the title event, an annual 12-hour national bacchanal in which all crime, even murder, is legal. How this ends the story, and where and when it falls into the context of the rest of the films, remains a secret for now. Filming was completed back in February 2020, with the film’s release delayed from last summer by the COVID-19 pandemic.
Space Jam: A New Legacy
July 16
There are two types of folks when it comes to the original Space Jam of 1996: those who were between the ages of three and 11 when it came out, and everyone else. In one camp it is an unsightly relic of ‘90s cross-promotional cheese; in the other, it’s a sports movie classic. Luckily for kids today, NBA star LeBron James was 11 for most of ’96, and he’s bringing back the hoops and the Looney Tunes in Space Jam: A New Legacy.
The film will be among the many Warner Bros. pics premieres on HBO Max and in theaters this year, and it will see King James share above-the-title credits with Bugs Bunny. All is as it should be.
The Tomorrow War
July 23
An original IP attempting to be a summer blockbuster? As we live and breathe. The Tomorrow War marks director Chris McKay’s first foray into live-action after helming The Lego Batman Movie. The film stars Chris Pratt as a soldier from the past who’s been “drafted by scientists” to the present in order to fight off an alien invasion overwhelming our future’s military. One might ask why said scientists didn’t use their fancy-schmancy time traveling shenanigans to warn about the impending aliens, but here we are.
Jungle Cruise
July 30
Disney dips into its theme park rides again as a source for a movie, hoping that the Pirates of the Caribbean lightning will strike once more. This time it’s the famous Adventureland riverboat ride, which is free enough of a real narrative that one has to wonder why some five screenwriters (at least) worked on the movie’s script.
Jaume Collet-Serra (The Shallows) directs stars Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt down this particular river, as they battle wild animals and a competing expedition in their search for a tree with miraculous healing powers. The comic chemistry between Johnson and Blunt is key here, especially if they really can mimic Bogie and Hepburn in the similarly plotted The African Queen. If they can sell that, Disney might just have a new water-based franchise to replace their sinking Pirates ship.
The Green Knight
July 30
David Lowery, the singular director behind A Ghost Story and The Old Man & the Gun, helmed a fantasy adaptation of the Arthurian legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. And his take on the material was apparently strong enough to entice A24 to produce it. Not much else is yet known about the film other than its cast, which includes Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander, Ralph Ineson, and Kate Dickie–and that it’s another casualty of COVID, with its 2020 release date being delayed last year. So this is one we’re definitely going to keep an eye on.
The Suicide Squad
August 6
Arguably the most high-profile of the WB films being transitioned to HBO Max, The Suicide Squad is James Gunn’s soft-reboot of the previous one-film franchise. It’s kind of funny WB went in that direction when the first movie generated more than $740 million, but when the reviews and word of mouth were that toxic… well, you get the guy who did Guardians of the Galaxy to fix things.
Read more
TV
Peacemaker: Suicide Squad Spinoff With John Cena Coming to HBO Max
By Mike Cecchini
Movies
The Suicide Squad Trailer Promises James Gunn’s “1970s War Movie”
By David Crow
Elements from the original movie are still here, most notably Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn and Viola Davis’ Amanda Waller, but the film promises to be weirder, meaner, and also sillier. The first points are proven by its expected R-rating, and the latter is underscored by its giant talking Great White Shark. Okay, we’ll bite.
Deep Water
August 13
Seedy erotic thrillers and neo noirs bathed in shadows and sex are largely considered a thing of the past—specifically 1980s and ‘90s Hollywood cinema. Maybe that’s why Deep Water hooked Adrian Lyne (Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal) to direct. The throwback is based on a 1957 novel by the legendary Patricia Highsmith (The Talented Mr. Ripley), and it pits a disenchanted married couple against each other, with the bored pair playing mind games that leave friends and acquaintances dead. That the couple in question is played by Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, who’ve since become a real life item, will probably get plenty of attention close to release.
Respect
August 13
Respect is the long-awaited biopic of the legendary Aretha Franklin, with the Queen of Soul herself involved in its development for years until her death in August 2018. Authorized biopics always make one wonder how accurate the film will be, but then again, Aretha had nothing to be ashamed of. Hers was a life well-lived, her voice almost beyond human comprehension, and the only thing now is to see whether star Jennifer Hudson (Franklin’s personal choice) and director Liesl Tommy (making her feature debut) can do the Queen justice.
The King’s Man
August 20
This might be a weird thing to say: but has World War I ever seemed so stylish? It is with Matthew Vaughn at the helm.
An origin story of sorts for the organization that gave us Colin Firth and the umbrella, The King’s Man is a father and son yarn where Ralph Fiennes’ Duke of Oxford is reluctant about his son Conrad (Harris Dickinson) joining the war effort. But they’ll both be up to it as the Duke launches an intelligence gathering agency independent from any government. It also includes Gemma Arterton, Matthew Goode, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as charter members.
Oh, and did we mention they fight Rasputin?
Candyman
August 27
In some ways it’s surprising that it’s taken this long—28 years, notwithstanding a couple of sequels—to seriously revisit the original Candyman. Director Bernard Rose’s original adaptation of the Clive Baker story, “The Forbidden,” is still relevant and effective today. Back then, the film touched on urban legends, poverty, and segregation: themes that are still ripe for exploration through a genre touchstone today.
After her breathtaking feature directorial debut, Little Woods, Nia DaCosta helmed this bloody reboot while working from a screenplay co-written by Jordan Peele (Get Out). That’s a powerful combination, even before news came down DaCosta was helming Captain Marvel 2. And with an actor on-the-cusp of mega-stardom, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, picking up Tony Todd’s gnarly hook, this is one to watch out for.
The Beatles: Get Back
August 27
Peter Jackson seems to enjoy making films about what inspired him in his youth: The Lord of the Rings, King Kong, his grandfather’s World War I service informing They Shall Not Grow Old. So perhaps it was inevitable he’d make a film about the greatest youth icon of his generation, the Beatles. In truth, The Beatles: Get Back is a challenge to a previous documentary named Let It Be, and the general pop culture image it painted.
That 1970 doc by Michael Lindsay-Hogg zeroed in on the band’s final released album, Let It Be (although it was recorded before Abbey Road). Now, using previously unseen footage, Jackson seeks to challenge the narrative that the album was created entirely from a place of animosity among the bandmates, or that the Beatles had long lost their camaraderie by the end of road. Embracing the original title of the album, “Get Back,” Jackson wants to get back to where he thinks the band’s image once belonged.
Resident Evil
September 3
Let’s try that again. As one of the most popular video game franchises of all-time, the original handful of Resident Evil games appeared ready made for adaptation. Visibly inspired by cult classic zombie movies from George Romero, Resident Evil once even had Romero attached. Instead we got the deafeningly dull Paul W.S. Anderson franchise starring Milla Jovovich. And those decade-spanning monstrosities lacked something any self-respecting zombie film needs: brains.
Now Resident Evil is back in a reboot helmed by writer-director Johannes Roberts. And he’s off to a promising start by apparently focusing on the plots of the first several video games in the series. The cast includes Hannah John-Kamen as Jill Valentine, Robbie Amell as Chris Redfield, Kaya Scodelario as Claire Redfield, Avan Jogia as Leon S. Kennedy, and Tom Hopper as Albert Wesker. So far so good. Fingers crossed.
A Quiet Place Part II
September 17
The sequel to one of 2018’s biggest surprises, A Quiet Place Part II comes with major expectations. And few may hold it to a higher standard than writer-director John Krasinski. Despite (spoiler) the death of his character in the first film, Krasinski returns behind the camera for the sequel after saying he wouldn’t. The story he came up with apparently was too good to pass up.
The film again stars Emily Blunt as the often silenced mother of a vulnerable family, which includes son Marcus (Noah Jupe) and deaf daughter Regan (Millicent Simmonds). However, now that they know how to kill the eagle-eared alien monsters who’ve taken over their planet, the cast has grown to include Cillian Murphy and Djimon Hounsou. While the film has been delayed due to the coronavirus outbreak, trust us that it’ll be worth the wait. Is it finally time for… resistance?
Death on the Nile
September 17
Murder on the Orient Express (2017) became a surprise hit for director and star Kenneth Branagh. Who knew that audiences would still be interested in an 83-year-old mystery novel about an eccentric Belgian detective with one hell of a mustache? Luckily, Agatha Christie featured Poirot in some 32 other novels, of which Death on the Nile is one of the most famous, so here we are.
Branagh once again directs and stars as Poirot, this time investigating a murder aboard a steamer sailing down Egypt’s famous river. The cast includes Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Letitia Wright, Tom Bateman, Ali Fazal, Annette Bening, Rose Leslie, and Russell Brand. Expect more lavish locales, scandalous revelations, the firing of a pistol or two, and, yes, more shots of that stunning Poirot facial hair.
The Many Saints of Newark
September 24
The idea of a prequel to anything always fills us with trepidation, and re-opening a nearly perfect property like The Sopranos makes the prospect even less appetizing. But Sopranos creator David Chase has apparently wanted to explore the back history of his iconic crime family for some time, and there certainly seems to be a rich tapestry of characters and events that have only been hinted at in the series.
Directed by series veteran Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World), The Many Saints of Newark stars Alessandro Nivola as Dickie Moltisanti (Christopher’s father), along with Jon Bernthal, Vera Farmiga, Corey Stoll, Ray Liotta, and others. But the most fascinating casting is that of Michael Gandolfini—James’ son—as the younger version of the character with which his late dad made pop culture history. For that alone, we’ll be there on opening night… even if that just means HBO Max!
Dune
October 1
Could third time be the charm for Frank Herbert’s complex novel of the far future, long acknowledged as one of the greatest—if most difficult to read—milestones in all of science fiction? David Lynch’s 1984 version was, to be charitable, an honorable mess, while the 2000 Sci-Fi Channel miniseries was decent and faithful, but limited in scope. Now director Denis Villeneuve (Blade Runner 2049, Arrival) is pulling out all the stops—even breaking the story into two movies to give the proper space.
Read more
Movies
Dune Trailer Breakdown and Analysis
By Mike Cecchini
Movies
What Alejandro Jodorowsky Thinks of the New Dune Trailer
By Mike Cecchini and 1 other
On the surface, the plot is simple: as galactic powers vie for control of the only planet that produces a substance capable of allowing interstellar flight, a young messiah emerges to lead that planet’s people to freedom. But this tale is dense with multiple layers of politics, metaphysics, mysticism, and hard science.
Villeneuve has assembled a jaw-dropping cast, including Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, Zendaya, Charlotte Rampling, Jason Momoa, and Javier Bardem, and if he pulls this off, just hand him every sci-fi novel ever written. Particularly, if relations between the director and WB remain strained…
No Time to Die
October 8
Nothing lasts forever, and the Daniel Craig era of James Bond is coming to an end… hopefully in 2021. In fact, delays notwithstanding, it’s a bit of a surprise Craig is getting an official swan song with this movie after the star said he’d rather “slash his wrists” before doing another one. Well, we’re glad he didn’t, just as we’re hopeful for his final installment in the tuxedo.
Director Cary Joji Fukunaga is a newcomer to the franchise, but that might be a good thing after how tired Spectre felt, and Fukunaga has done sterling work in the past on True Detective and Maniac. He also looks to bring the curtain down on the whole Craig oeuvre by picking up on the last movie’s lingering threads, such as 007 driving off into the sunset with Léa Seydoux’s Madeleine Swann, while introducing new ones that include Rami Malek as Bond villain Safin and Ana de Armas as new Bond girl Paloma. Yay for the Knives Out reunion!
Halloween Kills
October 15
2018’s outstanding reboot of the long-running horror franchise—which saw David Gordon Green (Stronger) direct Jamie Lee Curtis in a reprise of her most famous role—was a tremendous hit. So in classic Halloween fashion, two more sequels were put into production (the second, Halloween Ends, will be out in 2022… hopefully).
Read more
Movies
Halloween: A Legacy Unmasked
By David Crow
Movies
How Jason Blum Changed Horror Movies
By Rosie Fletcher
Curtis is back as Laurie Strode, along with Judy Greer as her daughter, Andi Matichak as her granddaughter, and Nick Castle sharing Michael Myers duties with James Jude Courtney. Kyle Richards and Charles Cyphers, meanwhile, will reprise their roles as Lindsey Wallace and former sheriff Leigh Brackett from the original 1978 Halloween (Anthony Michael Hall will play the adult version of Tommy Doyle). The plot remains a mystery, but we’re pretty sure it will involve yet another confrontation between Laurie and a rampaging Myers.
The Last Duel
October 15
What was once among the most anticipated films of 2020, The Last Duel is the historical epic prestige project marked by reunions: Ridley Scott returns to his passion for period drama and violence; Matt Damon and Ben Affleck work together for the first time in ages as both actors and writers; and the film also unites each with themes that were just as potent in the medieval world as today: One knight (Damon) in King Charles VI’s court accuses another who’s his best friend (Adam Driver) of raping his wife (Jodie Comer). Oh, and Affleck plays the King of France.
With obviously harrowing—and uncomfortable—themes that resonate today, The Last Duel is based on an actual trial by combat from the 14th century, and is a film Affleck and Damon co-wrote with Nicole Holofcener (Can You Ever Forgive Me?). It’s strong material, and could prove to be one of the year’s most riveting or misjudged films. Until then, it has our full attention.
Last Night in Soho
October 22
Fresh off the success of 2017’s Baby Driver (his biggest commercial hit to date), iconoclastic British director Edgar Wright returns with what is described as a psychological and possibly time-bending horror thriller set in London. Whether this features Wright’s trademark self-aware humor remains to be seen, but since the film is said to be inspired by dread-inducing genre classics like Repulsion and Don’t Look Now, he might be going for a different effect this time.
The cast, of course, is outstanding: upstarts Anya Taylor-Joy (Queen’s Gambit) and Thomasin McKenzie (Jojo Rabbit) will face off with Matt Smith (Doctor Who), and British legends Diana Rigg and Terence Stamp. And the truth is we’re never going to miss one of Wright’s movies. Taylor-Joy talked to us here about finding her 1960s lounge singer voice for the film.
Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins
October 22
While the idea of a Hasbro Movie Universe seems to be kind of idling at the moment, corners of that hypothetical cinematic empire remain active. One such brand is G.I. Joe, which will launch its first spin-off in this origin story of one of the team’s most popular characters. Much of his early background remains mysterious, so there’s room to create a fairly original story while incorporating lore and characters already established in the G.I. Joe mythos.
Neither of the previous G.I. Joe features (The Rise of Cobra and Retaliation) have been much good, so we can probably expect the same level of quality from this one. Director Robert Schwentke (the last two Divergent movies) doesn’t inspire much excitement either. On the other hand, Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) will star in the title role, and having Iko Uwais (The Raid) and Samara Weaving (Ready or Not) on board isn’t too bad either.
Antlers
October 29
Dramatic director Scott Cooper (Crazy Heart, Hostiles) is doing a horror movie. As we live and breathe. And he’s doing it with a huge boost of confidence from Guillermo del Toro, who has opted to produce the movie. Antlers is the tale of two adult brothers, one a teacher and the other a sheriff, getting wrapped up in a supernatural quagmire that involves a young student and a “dangerous secret.” And with a cast that includes Jesse Plemons, Keri Russell, and Graham Greene, we are very intrigued… even if we must wait once again due to a coronavirus delay.
Eternals
November 5
Based on a Marvel Comics series by the legendary Jack Kirby, the now long-forthcoming Eternals centers around an ancient race of powerful beings who must protect the Earth against their destructive counterparts (and genetic cousins), the Deviants. Director Chloe Zhao (fresh off the awards season buzzy Nomadland) takes her first swing at epic studio filmmaking, working with a cast that includes Angelina Jolie, Gemma Chan, Kit Harington, Salma Hayek, Richard Madden, Brian Tyree Henry, and more.
Read more
Movies
Upcoming Marvel Movies Release Dates: MCU Phase 4 Schedule, Cast, and Story Details
By Mike Cecchini and 1 other
Movies
The Incredible Hulk’s Diminished Legacy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe
By Gavin Jasper
In many ways, Eternals represents another huge creative risk for Marvel Studios: It’s a big, cosmic ensemble film introducing an ensemble that the vast majority of the public has never heard of. But then, it’s sort of in the same position as Guardians of the Galaxy from way back in 2014, and we all know what happened there.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife
November 11
With the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot criticized (fairly) for its lack of imagination and castigated (unfairly as hell) for its all-female ghost-hunting crew, director Jason Reitman–finally cashing in on the family name by returning to the brand his dad Ivan directed to glory in 1984–has crafted a direct sequel to the original films.
Set 30 years later, Afterlife follows a family who move to a small town only to discover that they have a long-secret connection to the OG Ghostbusters. Carrie Coon (The Leftovers), Finn Wolfhard (Stranger Things) and Paul Rudd (Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania) star alongside charter cast members Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, and, yes, Bill Murray.
King Richard
November 19
Will Smith’s King Richard promises to be a different kind of biographical film coming down the pipe. Rather than being told from the vantage of professional tennis playing stars Venus and Serena Williams, King Richard centers on their father and coach, Richard Williams. It’s an interesting choice to focus on the male father instead of the game-changing Black daughters, but we’ll see if there’s a strong creative reason for the approach soon enough. The film is directed by Reinaldo Marcus Green (Monsters and Men, Joe Bell).
Mission: Impossible 7
November 19
Once upon a time, the appeal of the Mission: Impossible movies was to see different directors offer their own take on Tom Cruise running through death-defying stunts. But then Christopher McQuarrie had to come along and make the best one in franchise history (twice). First there was Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation and then Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Now McQuarrie and company have set up their own separate quartet of films with recurring original characters like new franchise MVP Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) across four films.
Read more
Movies
Audio Surfaces of Tom Cruise Raging on the Set of Mission: Impossible 7
By Kirsten Howard
Movies
Mission: Impossible 7 – What’s Next for the Franchise?
By David Crow
Thus enters M:I7, the third McQuarrie joint in the series and first half of a pair of incoming sequels filmed together. The first-half of this two-parter sees the whole crew back together, including Cruise’s Ethan Hunt, Ilsa, Benji (Simon Pegg), Luther (Ving Rhames), and CIA Director Erika Sloane (Angela Bassett). They’re also being joined by Hayley Atwell and Pom Klementieff, but really we’re all just eager to see what kind of insane stunts they can do to top the HALO jump in the last one.
Nightmare Alley
December 3
Director Guillermo del Toro is finally back with a film which was originally intended for release in 2020. But like so many others, Nightmare Alley saw its production frozen due to the coronavirus. Del Toro’s first film since winning the Best Picture Oscar for The Shape of Water, Nightmare adapts William Lindsay Gresham’s novel of the same name. With a script by Kim Morgan and del Toro, it tracks a mid-20th century carny played by Bradley Cooper who is also a silver-tongued grifter. But his con meets its match (and is then outclassed) by his chance encounter with a psychiatrist (Cate Blanchett). They’ll make a hell of a team.
West Side Story
December 10
Steven Spielberg has just two remakes on his directorial resume: Always (1989) and War of the Worlds (2005). While the former is mostly forgotten and the latter was an adaptation of a story that has been filmed many times, his upcoming reimagining of West Side Story will undoubtedly be directly compared to Robert Wise’s iconic 1961 screen version of this classic musical.
A few numbers in previous films aside, Spielberg has never directed a full-blown musical before, let alone one associated with such powerhouse songs and dance numbers. His version, with a script by Tony Kushner, is said to stay closer to the original Broadway show than the 1961 film—but with its themes of love struggling to cross divides created by hate and bigotry, don’t be surprised if it’s just as hard-hitting in 2021. Certainly would’ve devastated last year….
Spider-Man 3
December 17
Sony has finally gotten to a “Spider-Man 3” again in their oft-rebooted franchise crown jewel (technically though this film is still untitled). That proved to be a stumbling block the first time it occurred with Tobey Maguire in the red and blues, but the company seems undaunted since Tom Holland’s third outing is expected to bring Maguire back—him and just about everyone else too.
Read more
Movies
Spider-Man 3: Charlie Cox Daredevil Return Would Redeem the Marvel Netflix Universe
By Joseph Baxter
Movies
Spider-Man 3 Adds Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange
By Joseph Baxter
With a multiverse plot ripped straight from the arguably best Spidey movie ever, 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse, Holland’s third outing is bringing back Maguire, Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man, Alfred Molina as Doc Ock, Jamie Foxx as Electro (eh), and probably more. It’s a Spidey crossover extravaganza that’s only missing a Spider-Ham. But just you wait…
The Matrix 4
December 22
Rebooting or continuing The Matrix series has always been a tough proposition. While the original Matrix film is one of the landmark achievements in science fiction and early digital effects filmmaking in the 1990s, its sequels were… less celebrated. In fact, directors Lily and Lana Wachowski were publicly wary about the idea of ever going back to the series. And yet, here we are with Lana (alone) helming a project that’s been a longtime priority for Warner Bros.
Read more
Movies
The Matrix 4: Laurence Fishburne “Wasn’t Invited” to Reprise Morpheus Role
By John Saavedra
Movies
The Matrix 4 Already Happened: Revisiting The Matrix Online
By John Saavedra
The Matrix 4 also brings back Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Jada Pinkett Smith. This is curious since Reeves and Moss’ characters died at the end of the Matrix trilogy—and also because Laurence Fishburne’s Morpheus did not, yet he wasn’t asked back. We cannot say we’re thrilled about the prospect of more adventures in Zion after the disappointment of the first two sequels, but we’d be lying if we didn’t admit we’re still curious to see the story that brought Lana back to this future.
The French Dispatch
TBA
Wes Anderson has a new film coming out. Better still, it is another live-action film. While Anderson’s use of animation is singular, it’s been seven years since The Grand Budapest Hotel, which we maintain is one of the best movies of the last decade. Anderson is working with Timothée Chalamet and Cristoph Waltz for the first time with this film, as well as several familiar faces including Saoirse Ronan, Willem Dafoe, Tilda Swinton, Léa Seydoux, Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and, of course, Bill Murray.
The French Dispatch is set deep in the 20th century during the peak of modern journalism, it brings to life a series of fictional stories in a fictional magazine, published in a fictional French city. We suspect though, if Anderson’s last two live-action movies are any indication, it’ll have more than fiction on its mind–especially since it’s inspired by actual New Yorker stories, and the journalists who wrote them! We missed it in 2020, so here’s hoping it really does go to print in 2021!
Other interesting movies that may come out in 2021 but do not yet have release dates: Next Goal Wins, Don’t Worry Darling, Blonde, The Northman, Resident Evil, Red Notice, Army of the Dead.
cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });
The post Upcoming Must-See Movies in 2021 appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3qz9uDe
0 notes
Text
Life Story Part 83
I wanted to be prepared for meeting Eugene. I had come to the conclusion that I had to meet him, but I didn't want to have a meaningless exchange. I feared that I would be objectifying him, and I truly didn't want to do that. I didn't want to be some clawing Beatlemania girl, ravenous with selfish delusions. At the same time, the things I wanted to convey to him, the stuff that I really wanted him to grasp felt very one sided to me. He didn't want to know me. He did not know who I was. While I am sure he appreciated his admirers and fans, I could not imagine he wanted to be heavily immersed with them. Though, technically, I didn't believe I was one of them. I felt so strongly that our paths were meant to cross. I talked it over with Sarah, and in the end of our analysis of my predicament, Sarah talked me into perhaps painting him something. Admittedly, I had already thought of doing so, and I had this idea in mind.
It would be in the style of some band posters I had seen from the 60's-90's. I didn't want it to be something super realistic or based on a picture I had seen directly. I wanted to go for something more powerful, surreal and based on what a catalyst for life Gogol Bordello was to me. So I began painting this picture of the band as sperm swimming to an egg. I thought it represented in a fun way, what I felt their music was, and what Eugene Hutz represented. I worked on it for a few weeks, combining my paints with the markers. It was never as perfect as I had wanted it to be, but in the end I accepted it for being decent enough to convey my appreciation. It was a labor of love, and when people saw the painting they were taken aback by it. I never was able to scan the painting as it was too large, but I took a blurry picture of it and did the best I could to clean it up and sharpen it. I will put it at the end of this story. Every time I looked at it, I was filled with this longing ache and euphoric nervous anticipation. My hands would be giving this to Eugene, in person. The living breathing entity that lived in the same timeline as me, who I was in love with. This was step one, and I was fully willing to accept that there were a million more steps. I had to maintain this momentum, climbing up the ladder whilst at the same time shutting down that part of me that wanted to recede into the dark.
Something I hadn't anticipated emotionally had started to take it's toll on me. It was a desperate longing that was beginning to hurt more than feel good. It was all mixed together, but occasionally I would feel completely anxious and wild, like something must be done, but what that something was I could never figure out. I would walk around the house, take a walk outside, and though I felt it all around me, almost like some low level vibration that makes animals go mad, I couldn't see any indication that anyone else felt it. And yet it was potent and all around me and visceral. If I tried to grasp it and understand it, it fell away from my fingers. It might have been the fact that I was starving. I went for three days without eating. It was hard sometimes to not think about food. Food now disgusted me, and losing weight was my one ambition. I felt great, but it was almost becoming an out of control feeling that terrified me and made me lose sleep.
Aside from the fact that my mind was running very low on sugar, I also had come to this point where I was starting to have this sense that maybe Eugene wasn't something I could really reach. Maybe what he represented was so beautiful that I wasn't fit for that, and maybe he wasn't perfect either. It didn't stop me, but there was a tragic sense of fatality in this realization. One of the aspects that attributed to me feeling this way, was there was a very unusual documentary made with Eugene in it. He was taken back to an area where Romani people were residing, and it was a documentary (from my recollections), about music and culture and Eugene's connection to it and all of that. Of course, Eugene glowed like a flaming vibrant being throughout the documentary as he traveled around and played music and shared life with these people whom he was related to.
The woman who made the documentary was named Pavla. And it became clear in the documentary and what was written outside of it that she loved Eugene and her love was unrequited, which at first aggravated me as I saw her as some kind of competition. But then I started to empathize. She truly was a wonderful person. And eventually I was overtaken with complete empathy for her and her own feelings. I almost wished against my own self wishes that Eugene had returned her love. I could almost feel her love as well as my own, like I had two hearts beating in my chest. Unlike me, she had something essential and basic to relate with him upon, and had reached out and truly connected with him. I could see the connection between them in the documentary. There was something and subversive and fundamental and lovely about them together. I had not part in that, and acknowledging that beauty, with also knowing that I was in no way shape or form a part of that life gave me a mixed feeling of fatalistic grief and this simultaneous connection with them as real people that was brutal and honest and created a cacophony of pain and feelings of intense achy mysterious desire that had the vague feeling of magical realism. And fighting in the backdrop of all that were reaching out to me like some sick monster reminding me of my own alienation and loss of selfhood, as well as this disturbing itch in the back of my thoughts demanding me to suspect that perhaps nobody really knows one another after all, and we don't fall in love with one another, we fall in love with versions of one another that we make up in our thoughts. The feeling had an odd familiarity to it, like I had suspected that every connection I made in life might have been meaningless my entire life but had been too afraid up till now to truly entertain the possibility for what it might mean.
It also bothered me that Eugene didn't love her back. This woman had really gone out and tried to make her dreams happen. She was beautiful and dynamic. I don't think you can force love obviously, but it was hard for me to fathom how Eugene so thoughtlessly took in that love without thinking of what it meant to her. He appreciated the love she showered on him, but in many cases he seemed aloof about it. I read in later interviews that he would often times in the making of the documentary shun her for a quick hook up with girls he didn't know that well. And that hurt somehow. It was strange to put myself in this woman's position and imagine what that felt like, and it hurt to do so. It also got me to thinking and realizing something that kind of hurt as well. Perhaps I wasn't the only person who thought Eugene was attractive. I mean, I had been to the place called the internet and I knew there were a lot of girls that felt that way. I felt like I saw more deeply into him than all of that, but maybe I was deceiving myself into believing that because I so rarely found myself attracted and had made some false step in assuming that this meant more than it actually did. I did some digging online, and realized that Eugene was kind of a player. He knew he had a certain affect about him that beautiful and intelligent women often times would swarm over him. Rewatching and rereading every interview that existed, I came upon the realization that he had most likely never felt an unrequited feeling of affection that he couldn't easily get back. I mean, I don't actually know that. Maybe he did. But he almost blatantly broadcast a lack of need for anyone. If he did ever feel an aching for someone beyond his reach, it was so in the abstract, maybe something that didn't exist. I had troubles believing someone with so much fire burning inside of their spirit couldn't feel something violently unrequited within himself.
So perhaps Eugene, despite his brilliance and the art and chaotic revelation surrounding him was a bit vain. Beyond that point, I couldn't tell what he thought or felt. Sarah was a bit lost when I tried to explain this to her. She had been very much for encouraging my obsession – maybe because it encouraged her to hope without self doubt that she could someday be near Mark Lanegan, and suddenly this all becoming dark was a mystifying disappointment. I felt slightly misunderstood in my attempts to explain all of this. Maybe I made love too complicated. Sarah didn't think about this stuff as much as me. I guess it all seems really crazy. A year ago my primary concerns had been so much different, and it's hard to really explain feeling/thinking you are in love with a famous person. It's disappointing to think that the real world of people isn't good enough and might not do it for you. Because if the world around you isn't good enough for you, if you can sense there is something better but can't seem to find the path you need to be on that will bring you to where you need to be – which is some ethereal up in the air concept to some extent, then what else is there? And I was going to be true to myself, I didn't want to feel ashamed of any of it. So to my unquestioning family, my objectivist factory working father, my religiously delusional nurse mom, my dreamy and distant best friend, and to my aspiring artistic brother and sister, could I really make them understand in a way that didn't make me look delusional and out of touch? Maybe I was out of touch.
Ultimately though, I settled my mind down by manually turning down the notches of my obsession. It was easy to do with so much beauty I could now see in the world. Eugene, despite his vanity and other human faults, was still a source for inspiration to me and a goal I would continue to believe was acquirable and my arrows were still pointed at him. Maybe being in love with Eugene was the beginning of another path that I would discover the purpose of down the road. In the mean time, I didn't need to die of heartache before I even got to see Gogol Bordello live. It would either sort itself out or it wouldn't.
Then there was Tom Waits. I started listening to Tom Waits extensively that summer. As soon as I got home from my morning walk, I would listen to all three discs of Orphans, Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards. I really let myself get lost in the grinding gears and poetic ballads of Tom Wait's. I spent three hours a day everyday for three months cleaning and often times dancing to Tom Waits – something I had never felt like doing before. I wanted to decorate my life with this new insatiable appetite for whatever mysterious powerful energy that came from Tom Waits, but humbled myself with an understanding that Tom Waits was indefinable and untouchable. The beauty I think in Tom Waits is that he is almost a magical being with no explanation and without need. Even if he has influences and takes on different forms of music, it's new and comes from nowhere.
I wanted to make something that would be influenced by one element of Tom Wait's music, and that was that sense of honest filth and weird oddities. Having listened and taken in so much of that feeling, I wanted to attempt recreating it myself. I decided to make a sculpture mural based on the bits and pieces from the ground that I always found beautiful and fascinating in their ugliness, but was always too self conscious and ultimately too sane at times to pick up and carry around. I felt particularly inspired by a combination of some of the weirder songs on the third part of Orphans, and based on the song 'Bottom of the World'. I started by going down to the train tracks in Lewiston. I spent a lot of time there anyway walking around. It was an area of town that had a decrepit dysutopian bleakness to it, there was never anybody around generally. All the normal people walked on the bike path out closer to the Snake River. Occasionally I would cross paths with someone who seemed lost and drunk. All over the ground there were bits and pieces of shattered glass and garbage and bits and pieces of things that looked strange and appealing. There were also bones and rusted pieces of metal. It all very much felt like something pulled out of a Tom Waits song, and I spent weeks out there on the tracks gathering up the most gorgeous pieces to be assembled onto a board I had so I could glue it altogether. It turned out well. Some of the stuff on there was almost gross, chewed on cigarettes, questionable bits of cloth and old feathers. If I had found a tooth out there I surely would have used it. It all had to go on there though, it was all meant to be a part of my art.
My mother was getting tired of renting Mike's apartment. Wes was living at the hospital at this point about 60% of the time. He lost his other leg, and didn't seem interested in losing weight. He was getting sick with more frequency, and due to David often and his moods, we often times would either leave him at our moms and go over there, or stay at our mom's and let David had Wes's. Mike meanwhile seemed to be spiraling into something very unstable. He wanted more and more money, and would often times come to the house unannounced and walk around. He wasn't doing well. We were also just done with that smelly house. It had never quite worked for us. And Wes had offered to remodel the basement for my mother and David to live in. Wes understandably didn't want to live in a nursing home if he could help it. My mother moving into the house was his way of avoiding having to do that. She could be there twenty-four seven and tend to everything he needed. He promised to give her the house when he died.
So, we all kind of moved and lived in both places. It was sort of interesting having two houses. I spent quite a bit of time walking back and forth between them. It felt somewhat like camping. David and I especially did a lot of walking around. In order to get the kind of exercise I needed, I walked ten miles one day up to Hastings and back – mostly just to check the cds. I always found it frustrating that they didn't carry a lot of the music that I liked. I sometimes brought pieces of paper with me and leave notes about what I thought they should stock – and I think it worked.
When Mike found out that we didn't want to rent from him anymore, he became very livid and upset. He said violent things towards all of us. He started demanding that we owed him more money. He began demanding money from Allison and David and I, even though we weren't responsible in any way for the rent. I suspect he was addicted to something, but I never knew what that was. Eventually, he found Wes and demanded money from Wes, who turned him away. Nobody wanted to have anything to do with him. As my mother cleaned out the house, I still found reasons to go there since there was still television and internet set up. It felt weirdly fascinating to sneak into your previous and now empty house. But then Mike started driving around the house and peering into the windows, and once he found me and began screaming. Technically we were still allowed to be there but he had it in his mind that we were not.
Eventually the fun ended when both Roxanne and Ralph – who both had warrants out for their arrest, started to break into Mike's at night as a place to stay. The prospects of seeing Ralph were horrifying and I would find his wrappers and sometimes personal affects sitting in areas of the house from the night before when Roxanne and Ralph broke in. Mike was too inept to get them out and blamed me for being there when I wasn't, and since Ralph was not the sort of person you want to come up against, I decided to leave the place for good. It was a relief to finally be done with it all. I had nothing if not a miserable time in that shack of a house. My mother took the dogs with her. Poor Smokey the cat though. He was dying in a very slow sick way. He wanted nothing more than to be cuddled and loved but touching him hurt his skin and he would howl in agony. I have never seen such a sickly animal. My mom was low on the money it would require to put him down, so she instead decided to call the humane society and tell them that we had found him that way and that he was actually a stray – relieving her of her obligation to pay for anything medical. I remember the fear in his eyes as he was put into a cage by strangers and taken away. I watched them walk away with him, as terror and sadness was in his small cat face. It hurt to know that he most surely was put down among strangers. But there too was a sense of relief that his miserable life was finally over.
On my birthday, I let myself go to Baskin Robbins with Sarah and order ice cream. It ended up being a mistake for me to do so. My PCOS really doesn't allow for this kind of thing. If I am to be completely honest, I should never eat sugar – not even a little bit. And this is a strange and difficult pill to explain to others, let alone swallow. For one, a single meal can cost me nearly a month's worth of dieting. I am not even entirely sure why. I have done all manner of studying how my body functions – and it's not clear to me entirely what is going on. Reading up on PCOS, this is a common occurrence, and it is considered truly impossible to lose weight. Being told 'no' gives me this aching horrible resentment against myself and my body – especially when I have committed to a goal. Nothing else matters but that goal, and it is an admit to severe defeat and self deprecating disappointment to face some inevitable truth that I simply cannot be thin. It was actually a true testament to just how hard I was dieting and exercising to begin with that I lost any weight at all. Thus far, I had lost forty pounds. Also, I am probably diabetic and don't know it entirely. The doctor's said I had sugar tolerance at seventeen so I know I was close even then. It had to have become worse over the years.
Secondly, I am addicted to sugar. Everything I think and know changes when I don't have something sugary to eat and I think to a lot of people's it's hard to fathom it. I can go for a few weeks tops. Then I started getting shaky, and suicidal racing thoughts start to happen. The pain passes for a week, and then it comes back. I feel like I am going crazy, and I need something more satisfying than sugar in order to function. My friends and family, who have no idea what level of dedicated I am tell me I should just let myself live a little – offering me a cookie, and eventually I give in. They even know that one cookie is never just one cookie. As soon as I get the taste, as soon as I get the satisfaction of giving in I sort of lose myself. Then when it is over, I curl up in a ball of shame. After awhile, I become addicted to the shame of eating sugar just as much as the sugar itself. I begin rebelling against myself because that's the kind of person I am.
To explain further, once I took control of my own life, I discovered a lot of truths about myself that I was not aware of before – having lived under the fear of other people. Some of these truths were really inspiring and amazing – I have the ability to look within myself and change things and evolve. But I am also indebted strangely to the same characters flaws that made my parents broken and complicated. My parents both have criminal tendencies – they aren't criminals technically (though if you know the details they kind of are) but had life circumstances been different for either one of them they could just as easily be locked up somewhere. Individually, they both have it in them. They see a rule and they want to break it. They see a perfect thing and they will find ways to destroy it, physically or psychologically. They don't even know they are doing it. They are both like impulsive children in that sense. They didn't make me who I am in the sense that I don't choose to focus on what they do – I don't have an appetite for their lowest common denominator form of chaos, but I still have this insatiable need to be chaotic and undermining – and I found in my dieting that some other very real person within me that I am scarcely aware of can and will take that power away from me and wreck me with it.
Eating some damned ice cream doesn't sound or seem like I was doing anything wrong – but it is because it sets in motion a need and desire to get lost in – and I can't resist that. I have actually by and large built a personality around the fact that I have the need to be chaotic – and my dieting routine has been just one of many difficult examples of this. If dieting is my focus and begins to define my self worth, then the other me will see it as the anti-focus for the sake of chaos itself. I will always want to do the opposite of what I want. I am not a balanced person. The only thing that works are short term solutions to an inevitable life of slavery to a goal. So when I eat ice cream, and gain eight pounds from this one excursion I fall apart emotionally. I hate myself, the world looks bleaker then it ever did before I decided to care about my weight or my health, and it becomes nearly impossible to reach out to anything past this feeling that I am completely consumed by. It isolates me from people who don't have the same kind of mind as my own. Perhaps if I had a friend who was guiding me through all this, I would be able to see myself through – but I have never met anyone that fascinated with my every move and I doubt I ever will. Plus, this kind of relationship would turn crazy codependent very quickly. I'd probably rebel against them too.
So when I am dieting and exercising, I have a method of eating a small bit of sugary foods anyway on a daily basis and just eating less or working even harder to burn off, and it became more and more of an obsession with a routine of feeling horrible and worthless about myself and then back to feeling optimistic and in control. As long as I could manage to feel more in control then not I was better off. Perhaps had I not been born with PCOS, or if my father had at least finished my doctor stuff, or heck, maybe if I just didn't have all the things happen in life that made me who I am, maybe had I been aborted then it all wouldn't be a problem now, but that isn't what happened and I am here, and it's the brain that is me. I gained eight pounds on that birthday just for eating some ice cream and then I had to burn it off. I learned to try not to listen to thin people tell me it was only a bit of ice cream.
Sarah, David, Allison and I were having a youtube party, which mainly is just each one of us showing each other videos we wanted the other people around us to watch. It was mostly just sharing music. Sarah had seen this performance by Grinderman playing on the Jools Holland Show. A new world opened up for me then. I didn't really know who Nick Cave was yet. I had tried to listen to him several years previous and I just hadn't gotten it back then. It had been too extreme and difficult for me to handle when I was younger. Now I took in every element of Nick Cave's performance completely. It set a new standard. It zapped my psyche. I loved Grinderman after awhile more than food, and by extension, I loved Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds that way as well.
Though Tom Waits was still every bit my ultimate favorite, Nick Cave became a close second. I made sure to listen to both Grinderman albums everyday in the evenings for nearly a year after. I eventually moved onto Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. I became warped by the imagery and tales in the music that Nick Cave spun. There grew in me, an inner world of abstractions and villains and death. The poetic intimacy of murder. . It felt very close to me. I felt conflicted by infatuations for the antagonist main narrators in songs from Murderballads. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds put me in a darker world that I had always felt I belonged in. It wasn't negative or depressing as one might assume. The darkness that sort of took over my imagination made the colors of my mind that much brighter. Thinking about disturbing subject matter has always been me in my element, since I was fourteen and became self aware. But there was a tenderness also and a literary exploration of concepts of love in Nick Cave's music that prevented it from being too Halloweeny. For the Gogol Bordello concert, I painted for myself a Grinderman t shirt with a lycanthrope on the front. It didn't last the first wash, but it was what I ended up wearing – though it ended up being too cold.
Sarah and I finally managed to get my Social Security card. She honestly made it happen. We went in, they had me sign some stuff, step behind a line as I was frisked lightly, and then come forth and grab it off a table. It was unbelievable, after all these years to finally have it. Now I could move on with my life. I think Sarah even paid for it. My parents never would have gotten it for me. And honestly, though they were the same devils to me that they had always been, I had finally learned how to turn down the volume on them psychologically. They could still reek havoc in my life, and if I was trapped with them, it was still inevitable for everything not to fall apart. I could still lose it. Somehow, I had to rely on them for a bit longer. Though I had now gone for over a year of having a panic attack, I had to be very self assessing all the time to make sure one wasn't going to happen. I could never quite predict a panic attack, but I could tell when my boundaries were falling away, or I was in a more vulnerable position. I have naturally very thin boundaries, and sometimes there are days where I was/am completely susceptible to everything around me. I take it in and it becomes me. I learned to zone out when I felt that way though. And it made a huge difference in my ability to exist with them all, David as well. I have Sarah to thank for that. She was often times my support unit. And when Sarah wasn't there I still had music on my headphones I could escape to.
Though I was by and large just ignoring the family disasters by this time, it was hard to look away from Roxanne. She had become completely consumed by her addiction to methamphetamines. She became a street person, rambling to herself and walking around all night. She had started to break into houses, and shoplift in order to get more drugs. The people she was hanging out with were more and more creepy and dangerous. We worried that she might eventually end up prostituting herself. Sagen, her daughter who was twelve by this point had quit school. She and Roxanne had become partners. They stole together, and did drugs together. There were stories that Roxanne and Sagen both prostituted themselves for more drugs, though I am not sure to this day on what level these things happened. It was beyond horrible.
Then Roxanne returned to Jeremy Frye, and I lost it. She almost seemed to enjoy the upset she caused everyone around her. She thrived on such high levels of bad drama that it made her look completely insane most of the time. I knew it was useless to do so, but I felt a moral obligation to at least try to tell her what she was doing was dangerous to herself and wrong, so I decided to compose a letter explaining the selfish nature of her actions. She still had custody over her youngest – Meliah and with Jeremy they had taken Meliah back in their care. I worried about what would happen to that little girl – and couldn't believe how selfish it all was. I knew she was always too high to really read a letter and I was well aware of the somewhat pointless element of what I was trying to do, and she would take it more or less as an opportunity to be insane, but I had to try. So I wrote her a detailed letter describing just how wrong this all was. Which of course she shot back with arguments that were completely devoid of meaning. She accused me of being jealous that she was with such a 'hunk'. She then just began writing me messages on facebook every six minutes that were random accusations and insane suggestions, like Jeremy and I were actually one in the same because he liked Nirvana too. None of it made any sense at all. After awhile, I just stopped returning her messages. It became clear that she had enjoyed the attention of getting that letter and had seen it as some possible option of pulling me in into some shitty altercation that made very little sense. And she was so invested in it that she didn't even care if I was responding anymore or not. It took me a week of not responding before she found someone else to text fight with, I assume. The contexts of what I had had to say of course fell on deaf ears, but I had suspected as much from the get go.
Then, a week later she and Jeremy got into a car accident with Meliah in the car. The cops got involved, found both of them completely intoxicated. Meliah was safe and so was Roxanne and Jeremy, but she was taken out of both of their custody. In their state someone easily could have been killed. And they were both too fucked up to do anything about it. Roxanne left Jeremy for good after that. It was just some week long fling I suppose – some temporary return to an ex. Maybe Roxanne had been in her way looking for either drugs or the false sense of stability she had had. Maybe Ralph had angered her and she had wanted to get back at him. In any case, Jeremy freaked out and became insane when Roxanne left him. He demanded she come back to him and was implying he was going to kill her – so she got a restraining order. She was staying with some people, and he found out she was there and called the place up. They told him that Roxanne wasn't there, but in fact she was listening through speaker phone. He vowed to stab himself once every hour that she was not with him. He ended up stabbing himself once an hour for several hours, calling over and over. Roxanne didn't believe he was doing it at first, until someone who was staying where Jeremy lived showed up and called the police. All of this could be heard over the speaker phone. Roxanne listened with horror and amusement as the police could be heard in the background demanding Jeremy drop the knife. He was bleeding everywhere. He had stabbed himself in the stomach and chest. He resisted arrest – refused to drop the knife, and the police had to taser him and drag him away, all of which could be heard over the phone.
So, the concert was coming up. Sarah was going out to Seattle with Alex to see Mark Lanegan perform and to meet him. I was going out to go up to Spokane to see Gogol Bordello and meet Eugene Hutz. We hatched this like two witches. Sometimes I felt so incredibly understood and close to Sarah I felt like we were working on the same things to happen. Despite everything, there was almost nothing that made me happier than to hide away somewhere late at night and discuss our plans. I felt like our lives were just about to explode into something fantastic. I never breached the subject with her directly, but sometimes I wished she would give up dating Alex – as the relationship was sort of dead, and fixing her mom's basement which seemed useless to our goals to make it big. We could both save money and move to Seattle and start our lives out there making art, playing music, writing and struggling. I felt like our perceptions complimented the other perfectly. Sarah believed in me and I could do anything. She supported me completely in meeting Eugene and my path towards all of that, and I supported her completely. There was nothing about Sarah I didn't like or trust or not believe in. Sometimes I swear I could see an aura of light around her. When she looked in my eyes she could see into my skull, and there was something deeply pleasing about it all.
Of course, this all sounds like romantic love. It's not quite – at least not by my definition. She couldn't fill that role in my life – a void left for someone who wasn't such a close friend they felt apart of me. I am not sexually or emotionally attached to women in that sense. But my love for Sarah was far more than what most friends have for one another – so I imagine somewhere someone might be scratching their heads trying to make sense of it and I wouldn't be able to blame them. It felt like a very purposeful and spiritual connection – to me on par with romantic love though not in that vein, though I can't think of one intense and romantic love I have ever had that I would ever choose over Sarah for. I felt like we could mix our energies together and alter the universe, and we knew everything about one another without having to say a word. It is so hard to explain that kind of connection unless you are in it. It looks so different from the inside than it does the out, as most human relationships tend to. I thought Sarah was beautiful. Some ray of light in an otherwise indifferent gray world. A person that almost defied logic merely by existing.
PART 82 - https://tinyurl.com/y9wvecz3
PART 81 - https://tinyurl.com/yc7bm62r
My Life Story in Chapters, PARTS 1-80 (this link below will lead you to a list of all the chapters i have written thus far).
http://aleatoryalarmalligator.tumblr.com/post/168782771574/life-story-sections-1-8
14 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
chouette417
Chouette
valyrou
Val
blackmail4u
Black History: Special Delivery!!
sissyforbbccum
Untitled
ben-swan
This is me.