#i won't throw myself into the fire so long as you walk the earth

[winepresswrath]

genuinely though show louis not killing lestat is completely unforgivable. book louis just, you know, doesn't particularly want to kill lestat and so he doesn't. deliberately deluded himself into believing it would never come to this. nevertheless participates in swamp motion, and also arson. show louis knows that lestat cuts him slack that is not afforded to claudia, agrees with claudia that lestat needs to die if they're going to be free, commits to the plan, and then goes "nah" at the last second?? they are immortal. the reprieve louis offers lestat is a probable death sentence for claudia. that is your daughter-sister louis!!! unfortunately i am in the business of forgiving the unforgivable and he seems very sad. however when the armandening comes i'm going to be furious.

[vanpalm3r]

thinking about jade and tori and the lyrics

"she'll lie and steal and cheat / and beg you from her knees / make you think she means it this time / she'll tear a hole in you, one you can't repair / but i still love her, i don't really care" and

"won't you take all your clothes off of me / and put them in a pile at your feet / and just look me- look me in the eyes / why won't you look me in the eyes? ... and when you touch me / i can barely keep it together / i can't keep it together / and when you touch me / i am beside myself" and

"do you know that i've been holding my breath all of this time? / weren't you gonna love me if i just did everything right?" and

"do you think i care about your new job and your new hair? / do you think i cry about your new friends and your new guy? / ...i do" and

"how could i deny a diamond in the rough? / you let me in your world until you had enough / you knew that i wanted you to bend the rules / how did i believe i had a hold on you? / you were always stronger than people suspected / underestimated and overprotected / when i went away it was the only option / couldn't trust myself to proceed with caution / the most that i could give you is nothing at all / the best that i could offer was to miss your calls" and

"why do you remind me? / why do you make me forget? / you walk right by me / and you're always far from me / because it feels good / because it is good / because it isn't / i know that it is" and

"loving you is habit forming" and

"she stings like means it, she's mean and she's mine" and

"i'm a party in the village you make fun of with your friends / but you show up time and time and time again / i'm the drink that you keep filling and spilling on your hands / you can clean it up like nothing happened / ... you keep the lights down low, keeping your eyes closed, but it won't change the feel of my body" and

"as long as it's us two / fuck being remembered i think i was made for you / so why'd you wanna erase me? / darling, valentine / you always know where to find me / if you change your mind" and

"but if you get married, i'd object / throw my shoe at the altar and lose your respect / but i'd rather lose my dignity / than lose you to somebody who won't make you happy" and

"can the killer in you tame the fire in me? / i know there's something waiting for us / i am sick of the chase / but i'm stupid in love / and there's nothing i can do" and

"'cause if i didn't have a mean bone in my body / i'd find some other way to cause you pain / i won't bother telling you i'm sorry / for something that i'm gonna do again / when i could spend the weekend out on a bender / do i get callous or do i stay tender? / which of these is worse, and which is better?" and

"was it something i said? you left me crushed / were you losing your head over something that you lost? / and did you feel it, too? when we both went blind? / you wouldn't even look me in- oh, darling, you wouldn't look me in the eyes" and

"you're too real for me / you should go to something better / i'll give you to someone better / i have friends that'll be on earth for longer / i have friends that won't feel like monsters / being unwanted / and wanting too much / feeding the idea of you / leaving you starving" and

"and at the bar, on TV / they were talking about the casualties / 400 and counting / and my only question / was how would you feel if one were me?"

girl help i'm drowning in sorrow about two people that don't exist and hypothetical scenarios that never occurred between them in their source material

[rogue-durin-16]

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part I/VII)

"sleepless nights"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @leovaldez37 @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: grief, nightmares, implicit PTSD

A/N: this is kind of... Fluffy(?) Somehow lmao. This story is based off this convo and these headcanons. If you wanna be tagged in the next parts tell me, and enjoy <3

Prologue: the aftermath

Part II: candy floss

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The first night I thought I was hallucinating; it wouldn't be the first time since the Battle that I had imagined someone was wandering around the flat.

The second night I was dubious.

The third night I was completely sure George was, in fact, staying awake.

So, when, during the fourth night, I heard him pass by my door for the nth time in two hours, I left the comfort of my soft blankets and stepped towards the door.

"What on earth are you doing?" George, who was already walking away in the living room's direction, jumped at my whispering.

He took a hand to his chest, shut his eyes and breathed deeply. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack, woman?" He leaned against the wall, his eyes still closed.

"Alright, sorry." I apologised. We kept whispering as if someone was sleeping in our house. "It's just— are you getting any sleep?"

His brown eyes finally opened, and as he stared into mines, I knew he, despite wanting to do so, couldn't find the strength to lie.

"I can't go near my room." He confessed, one of his hands running through his locks as his eyes welled up. "I— I tried, I just—" another deep breath, this one shaky.

I reached out to him from my door frame. The hallway wasn't that large, anyway; he only needed to slightly extend his arm and he would be able to touch my fingertips.

George looked at my palm hesitant, as if he didn't dare to hold it. "C'mon, I can't have you haunting our home for another night." With a resigned sigh, he finally took my hand, and I swiftly tugged him towards me, leading him into my room and closing the door behind us.

My dorm had a different atmosphere, and George felt it right away. Maybe it was because the room was certainly not the twins' making, or maybe because it was the furthest from Fred's, but in my room the air was less oppressive; it somehow felt comforting and homely.

I sat George down on the edge of my bed and took a proper look at him; his eyes were puffy and his nose red, but he was livid. I let my hand travel to his cheek, and he unconsciously leaned on it.

"I'm gonna go for a glass of water." I informed him, my fingertips wiping a tear that had spilled and was running down his face. "And I'll get your bags on my way."

"You don't have to." He muttered.

"Yeah, I have to, because you're not sleeping on this." I tugged on his overused shirt's collar. "Do me a favor; get a blanket from under the bed and place it on the divan." He nodded and complied, getting up as soon as I left the room.

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I rubbed my eyes with my index finger and thumb whilst standing up and doing as Y/n had asked me to.

On the process of covering the divan with one of her soft, warm blankets, I realized there was no way on earth I would fit there.

"Why the puzzled look?" Y/n's voice breaking the silence so abruptly made me lost my train of thoughts. "Didn't mean to scare you." She apologised, handing me the promised —and very needed— glass of water, and throwing my bags over her bed. "You're not sleeping there." She clarified, motioning at the divan.

A frown formed on my face. "I'm not taking your bed."

"Yes, you are." Just as I was about to open my mouth and complain, she warned me, "Don't you argue with me, Weasley. We're both too tired for this."

"Alright, you win." I huffed, knowing it would be useless to try and talk some sense into her, and, in all honesty, I craved to lie down on a bed, and Y/n's looked so comfy and welcoming.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to bed?"

She walked to me tugging my hand so I was facing her instead of her mattress. "You're a mess." The girl mumbled under her breath, unbuttoning my shirt before I knew what was happening. "Off, now."

When she stepped away to reach into my bag, I kept doing what she had started until the piece of clothing was open. Y/n placed my pyjamas in front of me and quickly turned her back to my body before I could even remove my shirt.

"I really don't know why you keep doing that" the words were coming out of my mouth somehow more light-hearted, almost amused. "You've ran into me naked several times." I pointed out, completely undressed and reaching for my nightwear.

Y/n snorted. "That doesn't make it any less awkward." The ghost of a grin appeared on my face and I had to refrain myself from teasing her in any way. "Done?" I responded affirmatively un response and she turned around and removed my dirty clothes from her bed.

We both climbed into our respective resting places and threw our blankets over us before turning off the light.

"Y/n?" She gave me a sleepy hum, prompting me to speak. "Thank you." She mumbled something I didn't quite understand; my eyes closed surprisingly fast, and I fell asleep.

Something I was quickly regretting.

As comfortable as Y/n's bed was, and as much at ease as the atmosphere in her room had left me, the nightmares still haunted my dreams.

I jumped up with a yell I didn't know that had escaped my lips, sweating and panting, only to find Y/n close to the same state, somehow a little bit more calmed. We locked eyes, gleaming at the moonlight due to the not yet spilled tears.

I took a deep, ragged breath, and rubbed my face with both hands; I wasn't crying, I was just exhausted.

The weight on the bed shifted before Y/n's arms pulled me into a side hug; I leaned on her, throwing my own arm around her waist to pull her even closer. We fell over the bed like that, and didn't dare to move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up again. This time, though, no pants or tears were involved; I was calm and rested, something not very usual anymore.

After a moment, I realized the reason why I had woken up was probably the pain on the back of my neck. I blinked a couple of times in an attempt to shake the drowsiness off me before trying to switch my posture to one more comfortable.

I was then startled by a sleepy grunt that left Y/n's lips; I remembered then that we had somehow managed to fall asleep in each other's arms in the most uncomfortable position ever.

I managed to move her with me, without waking her up —and thank Godric for that, because the sight of her snuggled up to my side with our legs tangled and her hand on my chest was angelic.

A sigh escaped my lips when, due to the rays of sunshine that started to sneak into the room, she buried her face in the crook of my neck, hear breath fanning over my skin and sending chills down my spine.

Staring at the room's ceiling, I weighed my options; on the one hand, I could lay with Y/n a bit more and try to go back to sleep, but I risked falling into another nightmare; on the other hand, I could get up and go have a very needed shower, but I would have to leave the comfort of her arms and her room, and venture into our very own cemetery.

I went for the second option; I did crave a shower, and we couldn't let what once was the most cheerful flat in the Diagon Alley be covered by the darkness of grief forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

I was shocked —in a good way, of course— when, the next time my eyes fluttered open was not due to a nightmare, but to the bright, warm sunlight inundating the room.

George was nowhere to be seen, and I wondered if last night had been a dream. I dismissed that idea as soon as I propped myself up on my forearms, seeing his bags near the bed and his dirty clothes laying on the carpet.

The door creaked, announcing the ginger's arrival even before he hesitantly entered the room. "Morning." He offered me a small smile.

"Morning." I replied, mimicking his expression. "How long have you been up?"

"For about..." he checked the clock in my room, leaning against the door frame. "Half an hour. Just had a shower and I was gonna make some breakfast."

My smile grew a little wider at his newly refreshed attitude. "In high spirits, are we?"

He clicked his tongue, tilting his head to the side. "Turns out that getting some sleep does wonders."

"Indeed." I agreed, stretching before standing up and walking to him. "C'mon, I'll help you with that breakfast."

"I can do it myself." He assured me, walking right behind me in the kitchen's direction.

"Last time you tried to cook, you set fire to the table."

He groaned, grabbing a knife to slice the bread he had left on the counter. "You won't let me live that down ever, will you?" I shook my head no, turning on the fire before grabbing a pan. "I hate you."

"Liar." I placed my hand above the pan to check the heat before requesting, "Pass me the slices."

"I was gonna make you breakfast," he complied, nonetheless. "Not the other way around."

"Are you complaining?" I quirked an eyebrow at George, making him roll his eyes at me and turn to the cabinets consequently to reach for the mugs. "I was thinking—"

"You? Thinking?" Snort. "The world's ending." He stated dramatically, preparing the coffee.

"Twit." I flipped the nearly ready toasts before resuming my sentence. "I was thinking that we should reopen the shop." George stayed silent, leaning against the counter by my side. "I think it would... Help." I stopped again, carefully picking my words. "Getting the business running... I think— we can't— we need to do something, to stay occupied." I looked at him, awaiting for an answer, or at least a glance, but his eyes were fixed on his slippers. "I don't mean right now," he tilted his chin up to stare at the opposite wall, and then his head spun to me. "but I—"

"Y/n!" His eyes went wide and he swiftly pulled me away from the pan, tossing the burning bread into the sink. "Merlin's beard." I pinched the bridge of my nose, sighing in defeat. "Trying to outmatch my kitchen pyromania?" George would have successfully lightened up the mood if I wasn't on the brink of a mental breakdown.

Fred had always been the one to cook. George wasn't even allowed in the kitchen for obvious reasons, and I myself had the attention span of a fruit fly.

"Oi..." George pulled me to his chest and my arms instantly wrapped around his middle. "What about we get dressed," he began, stroking my hair. "And we go have breakfast at The Leaky Cauldron?" I nodded against him, and he squeezed me tight before slowly pulling away. "We can start restocking when we come back, yeah?" I nodded again, catching a tear with the back of my sleeve before it could run down my cheek. "Then let's go." This time it was him who stretched his arm, offering me his hand, which I instantly took.

As we made our way back to my room, it dawned on me this would be one hell of a ride.

"Wait! The coffee!" I tugged him back to the kitchen.

"Shit!" We both jogged back in, rapidly putting away the coffee pot.

"I think we shouldn't cook." I stated. "At all."

"Agreed." He breathed out.

[emily-the-fae]

Sound of a Heartbeat

Part 3. Back to Business

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part4 - Part 5 - Part 6

Here I am, back with a new chapter. I have absolutely no betas, so this is what I get after editing the text myself.

Pairing: Dracula x OC

Warnings: absolutley none

What Shari did not expect, was to feel cold - in fact, there was now extremely unpleasant cold at her back and something burning warm and soft at her side, the juxtaposition making her shiver and move her shoulders. As soon as she did so, sharp pain shot through the left side of her neck, causing her to flinch and groan, straightening her shoulders carefully as not to evoke another shot of pain. Why-why-why does this have to sting so much all over again? Shari could hear some sounds around her - noises like obscured quiet dialogue, the voices were still undetectable, but she already had a hint of who they might belong to. Next there was a raspy sound of someone's - or something's - quick breathing right next to her ear. Light struck her eyes through closed eyelids, causing her to turn her head, wincing. There was a sound of footsteps coming closer. Some other noise, getting louder by second, until she finally heard...

- Shari! - as soon as she opened her eyes, she saw Sypha leaning above her, anxious face watching her reaction carefully, strands of red hair falling in front of her eyes.

Shari bolted upwards, nearly bumping into the speaker and instantly regretting it as sharp pain shot through her body, she bent forward, almost folding in half, then straightened up again, taking deep breaths. Alright, easy. This is what surviving feels like. She was going to live for now. Shari looked around: she was laying on the snowy forest floor next to a campfire, her body covered with a warm cape; the wood opening was lit in dim daylight, Sypha was crouching on the ground next to her, Adrian and Trevor staring at her from across the campfire; Rodo crawled closer, putting his muzzle onto her lap and wagging his short tail happily, his nose poking her belly.

She caressed his big furry head absentmindedly. Shari did not understand how the hell she managed to make it back, especially considering her health condition. She was expecting anything, but home sweet home among the three friends on the other side of the water.

Something moved on the edge of her peripheral vision, between the trunks of the trees and Shari had to turn her shoulders fully in order to keep her neck as immobile as possible, as she tried to look in the direction of the movement. She saw a shadowy figure of the ghost stare at her, hovering immobile close to the edge of the trees. Oh, Lisa Tepes is not going to leave her alone now. She knew Shari would survive, somehow the damned woman just knew it. Now the healer could be sure the ghost will stick to her for some time and continue the scheme of "go and save the world". A very pleasant beginning of the day.

- Lord, it's so good that you're back. We seriously thought that we might lose you, - Sypha threw her arms around Shari's neck, for the time being taking the healer's thoughts off her new acquaintance. - I tried all I could, you know, magic and other stuff... Adrian almost suggested turning you, - Shari snorted. Like hell he would have.

- How long was I...?

- Three days, - Sypha's face was probably as pale as her own. The poor girl must have done all she was capable of to keep Shari alive.

- To be honest, I am quite surprised that my father didn't finish what he started, but I am anyway relieved, that you are well, - Adrian walked up to her and petted her shoulder. - I'm so sorry we weren't there to help you straight away.

- It's fine, Adrian, we couldn't have predicted that he would pay us a visit. It's not anybody's fault, - no it is. My own and yours too, it was a dumb idea to leave the most battle-unprepared person alone. Shari shut the voice in her head and smiled weakly.

Trevor just nodded from across the fire, listening to their exchange; he watched the three of them, his gaze from time to time drifting back to Shari, or rather to the reddened patch on her neck. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if hesitant to speak, then finally spilled it out:

- How did he attack you? How did he find us? Did he speak? – the hunter started throwing questions at her and Shari got a strong feeling of being interrogated.

- I-I don't know, - Shari almost lied, throwing a cautious glance at Lisa. - He just, sort of, appeared and attacked me that's mostly it.

- He probably watched us. She was alone, so he decided to weaken us by removing the one left vulnerable, - Adrian finished, lowering himself on the ground next to the healer. Shari didn't want to respond, dropping herself to her improvised bed in exhaustion.

- You must be more or less right. That night is a bit foggy in my memory, really, - she huffed.

- He has a nasty habit of putting his victims under hypnosis, so your condition is quite - I almost said normal - quite to be expected I dare say, - Adrian mumbled matter-of-factedly, his palm coming up to caress her head and brush away a few stray strands of hair from her face. Shari felt her stomach turn in fear at the word "victims", she breathed out heavily. Silence followed.

- Guys, seriously, I feel drained... - Shari stretched as well as she could; Sypha snorted at her involuntary pun. - Can I please just rest for a while?

- Of course. Take your time and gain some strength. You'll need it soon, - Adrian spoke before anyone could respond. He stretched out his hand to take her palm in his for a moment, capturing her attention. - You deserve some rest. Thank you... For not dying on us. Really, - his tone began to be uncharacteristically serious, but as he ended his words in a chuckle, Shari could only breath out and smile warmly. Sypha just nodded and hurried to cover her once more with the large warm cape - the healer wasn't sure if it was Adrian's of Trevor's.

Shari lay back in peace for once, feeling Rodo's large warm form next to herself and letting the sounds of the forest wash over her. Maybe she could at least get some normal sleep.

***

When she woke up the next time, it was already deep in the night. The fire was burning low, Sypha and Trevor sleeping soundly on the ground around it, curled into two freezing balls, an empty bottle next to Trevor's hand - as per usual - and Adrian nowhere to be seen. Rodo purred in discontent, shaking his sleepy red eyed head, when Shari tried to sit up.

There was a shadow at the edge of the trees once again watching the small campsite intently; Shari could see it clearly its outline hiding behind the tree trunks. Lisa. The woman caught her gaze and beckoned her to come closer. Shari shook her head at first, but the woman only continued gesturing more aggressively; she hesitated for a while, contemplating whether she should just turn on her side and go back to sleep, then stood up at last almost against her own will, walking up to the ghost cautiously, ready for any unpleasant surprise. She felt like she was going to regret even this small decision.

Lisa, seeing her move, turned away and walked further into the tree shadows, leading the human away from the campfire; Shari could barely follow her transparent form, walking through the bushes careful not to make too much noise that could awaken her unaware companions. Rodo ran behind his human, smelling the air around him for any traces of life, his huge claws making him clumsy as he trotted through the bushes. At first Shari could barely see her way, cursing under her breath as she went until all of a sudden she found herself in an opening once more, a small free patch of ground formed around an old fallen tree, it's darkened trunk laying on the ground and clearing some space around it; Shari saw the ghost settle on top of the trunk as if sitting down on a bench, gesturing for the human to do the same. Shari walked closer and lowered herself next to the woman. It was silent for a few moments.

- Did you really have to do that? - Shari spoke up.

- Do what? - Lisa responded.

- Appear to me. Rush my decisions.

- I didn't. In fact, I tried to tell you to think it over, if you remember?

- Oh yes, you didn't intimidate me with the prospects of returning to Earth straight for a painful fight, - sarcasm it is.

- I needed you to be out here.

Silence once more.

- Why don't they see you? Adrian and others - you were there in the morning, but they didn't notice. Are you just a hallucination? In my head? I’m going insane, am I? - Shari asked. The ghost sighed in response, lowering her head.

- No, no. I believe, you... Crossed some border because of almost dying. You aren't supposed to be seeing me now, it never happened to me before... Maybe you are able to see the other dead too. Maybe it's just me because I tried to connect to you, - Lisa answered, unconfident, studying the girl's face. - I was never exactly an expert in the paranormal field.

- You raised a vampire son.

- That's different!

Pause.

- I'm still not going to go looking for Dracula, - Shari stated.

- You can go looking for his castle instead then, - Lisa was seemingly unworried about her decision.

- Looking for his castle?! Do you even hear yourself? How is that supposed to be "instead"? How.. Wait, why?

- Well, as you said, you want to hold onto your life - he has the answer to your sickness, your salvation - I know, I remember, I've been to his library - if you manage to find the castle, you will as well find the cure, - Lisa smiled knowingly at Shari's visible confusion. The healer wrinkled her nose, thinking. Now there was something to it – could be possible; a chance for longer survival, if the stories didn’t lie; besides Dracula is quite busy and Lisa had told her she watched over him. But still...

- Oh no, I'm not buying this. You're just telling this to me, because you want me to encounter him. He very obviously will be there and will certainly be not happy about a human intruder. I won't go, nope, - Shari replied.

- Don't you think it's the better option of not encountering him? - there was a smirk on the ghost's face now.

- Oh, yes, why would that be?

- He's following you four around, he said it himself, so he will definitely notice you are still alive and quite soon. But I do know he is not as often in his castle nowadays - so if you leave the others, in fact, you will have better chances of...

- Alright, alright, Lady Logic, I get it. What's in it for you then? Making me search the castle? Sounds all too good for me and nothing for you, as you place it. What do you have in mind?- Shari stared at the ghost suspiciously, waiting for the answer.

- His castle and all its movement is controlled only from the inside, I know it for sure. And maybe, just maybe, together we could find a way to reverse this war with minimum blood. If we find a way to stick the castle to one place, he will have to be more careful, because his safe place will grow more vulnerable. As for Adrian and your team out there – they wouldn’t be able to ambush him. Drawn in that condition they may have more time and necessity to… reconsider some of their tactics. Who says diplomacy should work without a little destructive help? You and I – together we can create the needed mess, - Lisa responded. This sounded almost like a rehearsed speech. - Magic and knowledge: if you help it may actually work out.

- And that's all? - Shari raised an eyebrow.

- Yes.

- Too simple.

- Only on speech, - Lisa tilted her head towards Shari. - Do we have a deal?

- I don't trust you, - Shari cut back. - You're nice and all, but I don't trust you, - she stood up from the tree trunk.

- You don't have to. But we need each other, you have to admit it, - the ghost responded with an amused smile. Shari really wanted to shut her ears and run away. This was no good. There was no way the ghost wasn't lying about Dracula deserting his castle; Adrian said he wouldn't... Though Adrian didn't expect him to be watching them either.

- Okay. Say I do trust you – for now. What do I do? How do I get away and to his castle without Adrian?

- Leave tomorrow. Tell them you need to go and settle some personal matter – or rest somewhere peaceful, that you know of a small village to rest in for a while. That you're sick and solving it - it's not far from the truth. You'll catch up with them in some time… possibly, - Lisa told it all as if she had planned the whole thing a long time ago, which unnerved Shari quite a lot.

- Will I though? - mistrust once again.

- Depends on you, - the ghost dissolved into thin air. - Remember, we both need each other.

[choleraciemna]

I wake up at once as if somebody shook me. It's very quite now, no voices heard, no music, no steps. And it's surprisingly bright. Blinking and rubbing my eyes and fighting back a sneeze I look around to see full moon shining through a gauzy curtain. It takes only a second more to remember where I am. Sage got a room for us in the Runny Eye with a single bed. Rather wide and comfortable bed, I have to admit. I remember him laughing at my words it looked like planned this way. 'Me plannin?' He grinned rising his left brow so high it got lost under the mess of white hair.

A later memory catches me. Those messy silken white strands. Oh, they are soft. I feel my cheeks warming fast. We were sitting on the floor against the hearth and there was more warmth coming from Sage's big body, from his broad chest exposed as always. And I was rubbing those big velvety ears vigorously and petting them softly and combing his long hair gingerly. Caressing his sensitive ears with my fingers, caressing sensitive tips of my fingers with his unbelievably soft fur. Both of us melting quietly, both of us pretending it's nothing.

And it seems at some point I just drifted off comforted by the weight of his head on my shoulder, lulled by his gently purring. Did Sage carry me to the bed? Oh hell. I never meant for real to leave him sleeping on the floor like a dog. I was going to tell him the bed seems to be wide enough for two and I'm pretty used to sleeping in much more awkward conditions in camps and tourist shelters during numerous trips back on Earth. I feel guilty at once. I throw off the blanket and get my feet out of the bed trying to make as little noise as possible. Oh. I get it Sage took off my shoes and covered me carefully...

The air is cool, I shiver and instinctively hug myself stepping on the wooden floor. Where's that blanket? I'm definitely not going anywhere without it. The hearth is almost fireless by now, only few crimson embers left. And there I see him in cold moonlight, curling like a big sleeping beast in a messy nest of several blankets, each one probably too small for somebody that tall and broadchested.

Never saw his face being that peaceful and calm. That usual blank unreadable expression of his was much more sarcastic and mischievous, I can see it now in comparison. This moment Sage's face is soft in all senses. Not a slightest sign of tension. His forehead smoothed tranquilly. Deep shadows under his long lashes. He's surely not smiling, his lips are as still as all his features, but the very corners are rising softly. Sage doesn't look like he's cold or numb or uncomfortable any other way. In fact he looks very cozy. 'Like a big cat sleeping', I catch myself contemplating.

I wish I could hug him. Just ease my hand on his side and let my mind drift off again. Isn't it natural. So simple. Just like cuddling for warmth earlier this night. Oh yes, it caused some warmth. Rising from ones chest I may say. From the very core. Warming ones pinky face. Burning ones cheeks and ears. So very very warm...

For how long can I stand here like an idiot? Wrapped in a blanket, holding my breath, ogling sleeping Sage on the floor. It's silly. He's so cute like that. So soft and cozy. So unusually ungarded. Not looking like a mercenary allways ready for a good fight. Not like a man on a run watching his back all the time. Just a comely guy resting mindlessly. Does it mean he trusts me enough? Does it mean I'm not troubling him at least?.. I wish I knew.

He told me for so many times now he's not safe to be around. And the truth is I do feel safe and confident while he's here. It's not that I'm going to hang on him or to hide behind his back. I just love that huge warmth coming from him. The tender warmth lighting his eyes when he grins at me. The tickling disturbing heat rising in my own chest in reply.

Oh great! I can always tell him I got cold. Sounds pretty plausible. I just got cold in that big empty bed. This kinda was to be expected. Trying to step silently I walk around his nest of blankets and squat down. Sage is still and quiet. I lie down slowly behind his back. The rustling of my blanket sounds so damn loud. But when I stop moving there are no other sounds. And it's warm here. Really warm. I can feel him breathing steadily.

And I can smell that spicy and smoky aroma of Sage's hair again. Exciting and cozy at the same time. I'm afraid I can get used to it. Allready getting being honest... I bury my face in his unbraided hair.

When Sage wakes up and finds me here he'll tease me mercilessly, I know. Well, I'll tell him I got cold. Sage will probably laugh and tease me more but he won't mind for sure...

Oh I know him. He'll ask something like "Missed me?" And damn me if I'll give him the smallest chance to see me embarrassed. I'll tell him I was looking for warmth. I needed to warm myself to be able to sleep. Pure innocence, huh.

Sage's wide back is really warming me now, it feels hot even through all this blankets, his and mine. I shift a little trying to get clother to him. What a silly childish shyness. What the heck. When Sage asks me what I'm doing here I'll tell him I thought HE could get cold. It's pretty true. I just care ...a lot. Oh well...

Annoyed with myself I close my eyes tightly. I dig Sage's hair slightly with my nose and stop when I touch his neck. My heart pounding seems to be the only sound in the dead of night. His skin is so warm. When Sage will ask me what the hell I'm doing here I'll think of some funny and teasing joke in reply.

I raise one arm to rest on his side. I'm not pressing at all. And there are so many layers of fabric between us. And still I can feel that delicate warmth. Enveloping me so nicely, mildly. My hand begins to slip and I hold him just a little tighter. And then I feel it. A low rumble deep under my open palm pressed to his chest. The big sleeping cat's purring.

When I wake up again it's almost dawn and it's hot and I'm tangled in a tight embrace. I lay on my side one hand wrapped around a muscly shoulder blade other touching soft skin on a pleasantly firm pec. Thin sleepshirt the world's kindest Anisa gave me had clinged to my skin. Two warm heavy palms hold my back carefully. And is that a tail curling against my hip? I can feel tufty fur on it's end. My face hidden in the crook of Sage's neck inflames instantly.

I wish I could see if Sage's awake. And honestly I wish I could stay like this for some time just listening and breathing and indulging the weakest part of myself. Snuggling against Sage's hot skin, feeling his pulse against my chest.

"Morning", I hear him whisper. And though all I can see now is the whole mess of white hair, I can swear he's smiling.

"Good morning, Sage!"

"Not just good", he chuckles softly. "It's probably the best."

Oh I need to see his face immediately! Sage's voice never sounded like that before. I raise my head to see him blushing brightly. Just as me.

"Looks like I missed something interesting", Sage grins widely. Before I can reply wittily his expression changes.

"Did you get cold all alone in that empty bed?" Look, his not teasing! Not at all. Sage's really caring.

"I just missed you." I didn't expect it to come out like this. So simply. My face burns with embarrassment. His eyes widen. Sage looks at me seriously and... fondly? Can I describe a gaze as 'warm'?.. When he begins to speak his voice is low and husky.

"You know... It's not that often in my age. Experiencing something for the first time."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. He laughs shortly, "...in bed especially!"

I glare at him but still can't help a huge curiousity.

"Sage... I don't get it yet. It's your first time doing... what?" Hell. I'm on fire. But look! He's also as red as a tomato. You're not that closed and cool after all, Sage. And I wish you knew just how much I like it.

"Uh", he mumbles. "You see, usually I just sneak out before sunrise..." After a night spent together he means. Oh.

"So here I am." Sage smiles unusually softly, shyly. "Waking up cuddling for the first time in my life."

How can it be? What was his life like? This big boy with a bit of reputation. Did he just told me he'd never been loved?.. Never letting anybody to stay around him for long enough. Never sharing all those dangers with anybody and also never sharing all this softness and warmth. Never being  treasured the way he deserves it.

Cradled in his heavy arms I look at Sage like I've never really seen him before. I'm totally caught. I'd never say what I'm saying if I had just a little time to think about it.

"But... Do you really mean nobody ever hugged you sleeping? Nobody enjoyes your warmth and nobody knows how safe it feels here?.."

"You do", Sage says in that special low voice looking me right in the eye. And we both redden again in silence.

Then he remembers something and amusement lights up his face. "Speaking of first times. Have you ever heard 'bout the callin' stones?.."

...

[peacockwinchester]

Mairon/Sauron x Misha

Remembered that I have literally never posted a oneshot of my most hammered out story. I have been in love with Mairon for a couple years, he is my comfort character and this story is probably my most well-developed and longest running one. Anyway, I hope it is good!!

Warnings: Relationship issues, general LOTR things, heights, angst with happy ending, actually no curses (Wow, Misha what are you doing?!)

..

~Misha~

I had been invited (more like summoned) to Imladris by my niece, Galadriel. I had already been made aware of the stirrings near Mordor, and I had had many dreams of my husband, even though he would still be without a body for a long time. Beleg had come with me, since he liked the company of Elrond's sons and Glorfindel.

We were greeted at the entrance by Lindir.

"My lords," he greeted us.

"Lindir," I nodded.

"To what do we owe the pleasure? We had not expected you," Lindir asked politely, though I could sense his unease.

"We were asked here by my niece," I replied. "We won't overstay our welcome."

It was always icy with our kin, even after all these centuries. Such was the curse of my family. Lindir nodded briskly and stepped aside so we could enter. We were almost immediately greeted by Galadriel.

"Welcome," she smiled at Beleg and I, speaking in Sindarin, "I hope Lindir didn't give you too much trouble. He is... untrusting."

"Who isn't untrusting of us?" Beleg scoffed.

"There are many, myself included," Galadriel assured us.

"Why did you ask us here?" I inquired.

"A party of dwarves is coming our way. They are led by Olorin, who I believe has worrying news for us. I was summoned here by Saruman."

"Worrying things are beginning across the land. I assume you and Elrond will want my observations?"

"Yes, but you will not speak to Saruman?"

"I feel evil in him, much like my Atar," Beleg explained.

"He has been acting strangely, but we must not jump to conclusions," Galadriel frowned.

"Perhaps," Beleg pursed his lips. "I will leave you to the talking, I am going to look for Glorfindel."

"Alright," I nodded.

Galadriel led me to the council room, where Elrond was discussing the tidings with Saruman. I felt a similar feeling to Beleg's. Saruman had been striking me as off for a while, but I also understood Galadriel's desire to keep the peace.

When we arrived, Elrond stopped what he was doing.

"Lord Misha," he nodded, "Galadriel."

"It is good to see you, Elrond," I smiled.

"Why have you come?" Saruman frowned.

"Galadriel asked for me. It would likely be beneficial to have my experiences. She also tells me Olorin is coming with a party of dwarves," I narrowed my eyes at the white wizard.

"Very well. What have you seen?" Elrond cleared his throat.

I sat down across the table from my long removed nephew and sighed. Galadriel also took a seat at my side.

"I have been having dreams," I steepled my hands under my chin.

"What sort?" Elrond frowned.

"Troubling for our cause. I have seen my husband many times in my sleep. He speaks to me often. I know he will still need time to regain his full power, but his progression is worrying."

"Do you mind telling us what he says?"

I pursed my lips and looked at my hands. To tell the truth, most of what Mairon talked to me about was insignificant. It was the sort of conversations one has with roommates or after one gets home from work. Just like the old days... He sometimes reminisced about times we had shared together, like the weeks he spent healing me or our time in Valinor. I didn't think any of that was vital to our cause.

"I... All I know is that despite all his sentiments towards me, he isn't going to stop," I shook my head slightly.

Elrond and Galadriel seemed to pick up on my unease and quickly dismissed the council.

..

There was almost always a feast at Elrond's house, and tonight was no different. Afterwards, Beleg and I spent some time in the Hall of Fire, before I decided to go to bed. Beleg and I had been given rooms close to each other. I entered mine and put on my night shirt. My bed was comfortable, and I fell asleep relatively quickly.

..

I opened my eyes to see that I was still in my guest room. However, I knew I was dreaming because on the end of my bed sat Mairon. He looked over at me, smiling slightly.

"I always look forward to visiting you," he said.

"I know," I sighed.

"You're troubled..." Mairon frowned at me.

"Of course I am, Mairon!" I scowled. "How could I not be troubled?! You're trying to take over the world and basically kill my people, not to mention everyone else!!"

"Misha- I don't want to kill everyone! I just want to show everyone that we deserve respect, and order!" Mairon argued.

"Mairon, no one will ever respect us if you keep this up! I'm sorry, but I just can't keep acting like you've done nothing wrong. Because you have done so much... and I don't know if we'll ever be the same..."

Mairon sighed and looked away from me.

"I know..." he said quietly. "But they listen to me... The orcs truly listen to me, not like Aule or Melkor who pretended to. Misha, I'm finally important, and I'm not going to stop, because everyone in Middle Earth needs to know how important I am. How important my family really is."

"Mairon," I stopped him by putting a hand up, "Until you stop and you face the consequences of your actions and the actions you're planning on taking... I can't see you. So, please leave me alone..."

Mairon looked stunned at my words, like I had just physically impaled him. But I knew he understood, or he would in time, and he left.

..... Continuity? We don't know her. Time for the destruction of the Ring.....

I had never actually been to Mordor, even after all these years. It was a barren, volcanic wasteland. Looming over everything was the volcano itself and Barad-dur, which was a replica of my own home. My whole head was a hurricane of emotions. I was scared, scared that we would fail, scared of what would happen if we won... Scared to see him.

Frodo and Sam were at my side, disguised in orc armor. But everything was deserted. I swallowed my fear and hesitation and put a hand on Frodo's and Sam's shoulders.

"You two do what we came here to do. I believe in you," I smiled at them.

"What are you gonna do, Mx. Misha?" Sam frowned.

"I'm going to see him," I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"Good luck then," Sam shook my hand.

"You too. I'll see you on the other side," I saluted the Hobbits, before jogging up to Barad-dur.

I stopped just short of the gate. Would he come with me? Would he be too proud to admit defeat and serve time for his crimes? Would everything be too much for our relationship? Almost shaking, I pushed open the giant black gate.

Centered with the door was a large, dark throne, on which sat the person I had been waiting for and dreading seeing simultaneously. I knew it was him by the shock of golden hair and the way he sat. When he saw me walk in, he stood immediately and descended the throne. He didn't come closer yet, probably in fear of my anger. But after all these centuries, I just wanted everything to be over and to heal.

"Misha," Mairon said.

"Mairon," I replied.

"Why did you come?" my husband asked.

"I want to offer something."

"Oh?"

"I want you to come home with me. We can work through everything and you can begin to mend what you've broken. I spoke with Manwe in my dreams, and he's willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I just... I just want all this to end..."

Mairon sighed, finally coming closer. He stopped just in front of me.

"You came with the Ring, didn't you?" he said.

"Yes. Surely you know you can't win," I crossed my arms. "My friends are taking it to the mountain now. There isn't time to stop them."

"I know," Mairon sighed, "Eru, you always were smarter..."

"So?" I held out my hand between us.

Mairon looked at my hand for a long minute, and I almost though he wouldn't take it. I convinced myself he wouldn't and began to prepare to deal with that. I was pulled out of my wormhole by the warm weight of Mairon's hand in mine.

"I'll come with you," he affirmed. "Nothing will ever erase the damage I've done, but I want to start over. I want... to be a family again."

I felt tears slip out of my eyes unwittingly, and as I looked at him, I saw Mairon was crying a bit too. The weight of all the years without him and all the years of wondering whether we would ever be able to be something again finally hit me and I let go of Mairon's hand to throw my arms around him. Mairon held onto me as tightly as he could.

We just stood there for what seemed like an eternity, before Mairon's grip loosened. I let out a gasp, like the air had just been knocked out of his lungs. His knees buckled and I struggled to keep him upright.

"Mairon?!" I asked, panicking slightly.

"Misha... The-the ring's gone..." Mairon breathed.

"Are you gonna be ok?" I asked fearfully.

"I mean.... Probably??"

"Are you sure?"

"Meh."

It was clear that he was a bit loopy right now. I felt a shower of dust fall onto me and I started coughing. I looked up to see the ceiling begin to crumble.

"Mairon!!" I cried.

My husband, clearly out of it, barely managed to throw up a shield to protect us. When the dust settled, we were under a mountain of rubble. Mairon used what little power he had at the moment to burst the shield and throw rubble off of us. When I could see the sky, I hauled Mairon to his feet (he could barely stand and he ended up leaning heavily on me) and began dragging us out of the ruins of Barad-dur.

Once on top, I let out a string of Quenyan curses. The volcano was erupting and lava was pouring out of it, heading towards us. Overhead, I saw large birds circling. Two swooped down on teh side of the mountain and another began descending towards Mairon and I's position. I had only enough time to yelp and squeeze my eyes shut as the giant eagle picked us up.

"Misha?" I heard Mairon ask.

I let out a strained panicked noise and kept my eyes shut. I happen to be deathly afraid of heights, and I did not trust Manwe's eagles one bit.

"Netya hanu, you're ok, I think. I might be dying, actually, um....." Mairon tried to reassure me, despite him being completely out of it.

"Did... did you just call me... pretty boy?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Did I? Oh... Didn't mean to say that out loud. Did you know you smell nice?"

I laughed, though it was somewhat strained. We were finally done with the Ring and all of that nasty stuff. It was over. Mairon was going to begin mending the hurt he'd caused Arda and we could finally begin to talk through everything. Despite my issues with my current altitude, I was elated.

.....

Hi. Did you like it? I've never actually written down how this all goes down, so I hope it was good. Anywho, if you want more Mairon content, I can be persuaded to write it more frequently :)). Have a great day/night, and take care of urself!!

[lostadrianda]

The house of wolves

Part I

*версия на русском языке по ссылке:

https://ficbook.net/readfic/8551009

There are dark times. I thought that the death of my parents was the worst thing I would ever see in my life. But now it's so bad… I have to admit that it's worse.

Smoke from the fire rises into the sky, twisting and dragging sparks with it. An axe clatters, and a tree falls with a crunch, breaking neighboring branches. I have almost no life left in me. Almost nothing is inside. People are scurrying around. The camp is growing in front of our eyes, turning from a temporary to our permanent campsite. I look at it, trying to figure out what’s going on. I'm not used to being in camps. The detachments held out successfully for four years in the Dominiana, where we took over the houses, and everything went well. But recently we were forced out of those lands, and the Sly Fox moved all of us to the Islands. It seems to be logical decision. But on the Islands we are not welcome. We could have gone to the south to sparsely populated areas and stayed there. However, we did not do this. But why?

I was the only one who seemed to be asking questions. I don't know. I didn't have much contact with anyone from the camp. I glance at the people sitting next to me. Their faces are dry and earthy. Only the reddish glare of the fire is on them. And their eyes are fixed. You always had to keep in mind that those were wolves around you, not people. They look alike, they even show humanity from time to time. It's all a lie. And if there is any kindness in someone, it will soon be beaten out of them. It's the only way around here. I am among the enemy, I am in their ranks. I help put up new tents. But I have a feeling that I will soon be finished with. It's about time. But the Sly Fox keeps stalling. I think he understands how much this torments me. That's why he keeps me close to him. He's not stupid, no. Therefore, his decisions are not discussed.

It's funny that the Fox has committed so many crimes, but if somebody asks to show the main bastard, everyone will point the finger at me. I betrayed my family. Not native, adopted. Yes, they are all dead now, too. I guess my life didn't work out. But I didn't betray anyone. When the door was kicked in and twenty men entered with the Fox at their head, it was all over. There was nothing I could do about it, no matter how much I think about it. I pretended that I always hated my new parents. And I joined the side of the enemy. I should have given my sister time to escape. I didn't expect much more. I didn't think about anything. I didn't think I'd have to break into houses like this with the others. That now I will always hear the sound of those black boots wherever I go. I didn't think I'd have to run around in the woods. I didn’t know I'd be stuck with them for five years. I thought they would kill me that night, in the same house, as soon as they realized what I had done. But they did not understand or pretended not to understand. They still look askance. And I'm not allowed to be absolutely free. The Sly Fox sometimes calls me, asks questions, and I answer, but I keep waiting for the punishment to come. And he lets me go. During all this time, not a single suspicion was expressed. And he's smart. And there is nothing left for me, I am in his hands, always in his sight, even if he is watching me with a hundred other people's eyes, wolf eyes. He is always somewhere above me, behind me. All the time my life is suspended, and I know it.

My only hope is that my sister will return. I have nothing else left. Everything is so empty. And I’m doing something wrong. I close my eyes so that I don't see anything, so that I don't understand what is happening to me. Because as soon as I start thinking, it turns me inside out. When I forget myself, I gather wood for a fire, go with others and scout the area around the camp, draw some maps. And everything seems to be as it should be. I make an obedient and silent employee, everyone is happy, I do not interfere with anyone. The whole body shakes, as if with a strong chill, and no fire warms. So something inside is resisting. It remembers, and remembers well, that the Sly Fox is the enemy. That he killed a lot of people. But he's good, he's built everything right. He's got an army of about three thousand men, and they all look at him and catch every word. Only one person I've ever known, only one person in my entire life, could stand up to him. And this is my sister. Isn’t it funny, huh? As I remember her, thin, fragile, as I look at the Fox… I can't believe it. But that’s true. Her playful dark eyes flashed with such power sometimes that I was willing to believe that she would overcome anyone. And every time I look at the Fox, I always look at the scar on his cheek. My sister left this for him as a souvenir.

But I haven't heard from her in five years. It's too long to wait, you know? A person waits, waits for a week, a month, maybe a year… And then begins to live, throwing a veil of oblivion over the past. Only I never started again. The air balloon ends sooner or later, you know? And I'm still trying to grab the mask and breathe, breathe. Nothing is inside. In the camp, when people talk about her, all they say is that she must have been dead for a long time. I wished they say something else, even nonsense. Nooo. There are no other options in anyone's mind. Only my brains resist. Things can't be that bad. No matter how much life beats me, I won't believe it. It can't be that bad.

Smoke from the fire gets in my nose. It's getting colder, the earth is blowing in autumn, and the leaves are not the same as before. I rub my flushed hands together. The Islands don't like us. We are like an ulcer on their body. We tried to move deeper into the mountains and fortify ourselves. Fifty of our men were killed in two days. A couple of detachments remained in the dense forests at the foot of the mountain, while the rest were scattered along the coasts hiding. We choose places so that we are not found for as long as possible. And it’s strange that the Fox ordered us to fortify ourselves here. But let hell be with it.

The sky has been cloudy all the time we've been here. Today, for the first time, I see the sun shining. Even now you can't see the sky — it's all white, with darker clouds floating across it. The horizon is dark-blue, grim, colliding with an even darker, colder sea. I look into the distance and for the first time I think that my sister must be dead. It scares so much. It's like I'm no longer a human being and I'm becoming a wolf, like all those people around me. That’s really scary. For some reason everything turns to be meaningless. No, I won't give them my soul. They took everything from me, but they won't get it. I will believe till the end. I will resist until I lose my mind. Why am I sitting now here with them, as if I really took their side?

It makes me feel sick. I kept hiding in their ranks and waiting for my sister to break out. Five years have passed. Time flies quickly, terribly, the further away, the more ghostly. I forget how it all happened, I forget why it happened, I forget what a mistake we made. I still think that I did everything right. I acted as I should. As well as I could. But for some reason, it all turned out to be really bad.

If I am the only one left here, who is still fighting, who still remembers that there were better, brighter times, if my sister is dead, and no one is fighting without her, isn't it time for me to get up? Isn't it time to remember who I was and how I was brought up, and what was on my mind before I got bogged down in this mire? I'm biting my lip nervously, they are already looking at me with suspicion.

What a coward I have become! Just thinking makes my temples sweat. I’m used to waiting for a miracle, but as soon as I imagined that I had to act myself, I shrank from fear and wanted to hide away. If only they didn't touch me, if only, if only... I did not to experience new horrors. You don't like me, do you? Despise? Look at me, all that is left of me is my skin, hanging on my bones! These wolves, damn them, have broken me so badly that none of my old friends would recognize me. But what good are these friends: they're either dead or they're first in line to take my head off.

I stand up from the log I've been sitting on all this time and feel my legs go numb. They are frozen to the bones. I stand still to stretch them a little. The two men sitting next to me look at me lazily.

— Where are you going? – Their cracked lips move, yellow teeth appear in between them. Those men probably don't like camp life either. And how long this will continue, no one knows.

— I'll go up to the river. There's one place I don't understand, I want to look at it.

— Don't run into anyone. We don't need you to bring the villagers here.

I nod. I don't get into fights, I don't get involved. Everything I have inside, I keep inside, and it’s a habit that has covered me like armor. I walk past the tents, from campfire to campfire, and turn onto the path that leads higher. I climb up and look back. Lights, trampled paths, people. I'm sick to death of such views. The further away from them, the better it is. I know I'll be back anyway. It's sickening. But the closer I get to them, the more I can learn about the outside world. I'm still waiting for news. At least one piece of news about my sister would be great. No one else will tell me. Only sitting by the fire I learn something new. Everyone in the outside world that I strive for hates me so much that they won't hesitate when they see me. They’ll kill me instantly. Here in the squads, I'm just one of hundreds. To the outside world, I stand in one line with the Fox. And he is happy for this — to keep a traitorous son and show everyone that even I recognized his power.

[ready8210]

“Let me in your heart again”

1. He hates me

Vivian

Munich / Germany - Musicland Studios

I nervously pluck my blouse, sitting in the sparing lobby of Munich's „Musicland Studios", as I wait for the first "meeting" with my future „boss", no less than QUEEN.

You've read correctly. QUEEN! I can't get my head around it yet.

The band was searching for a photographer, to document the tour life and studio work of their upcoming "works" album and their following world - tour, which would later lead them - or should I say US - from Europe, over Asia, Australia to America and Africa.

I was one of the lucky ones, the band and management put on the shortlist in late October, last year. A view weeks later, I was informed that it was me, who would attend the band for the next two years.

Two years, I think to myself, wrinkling my brows in disbelief.

At this moment I don't know if I am incredible lucky or should be scared.

I still desperately try to smooth out the wrinkles on my pastel - yellow blouse, as I nervously scan the room. Leaning back in an uncomfortable armchair, I inhale deep as I gaze over my chosen outfit.

Earlier today I was frustrated standing in front of my closet, throwing around varying outfits, unable to decide what to wear for my meeting with the band.

What would one wear when meeting Queen?

I racked my brain this morning, that would change my whole life.

Needles to say I didn't come to an answer.

After one hour of putting on nearly all content of my wardrobe, I decided to go for casual and simple. I really didn't want to look like an applicant for a secretary job.

I wear that pastel yellow sleeveless blouse I already mentioned 2 times (you have to excuse, I'm extremely nervous), paired with light blue skinny jeans and simple pumps. My wavy hazelnut brown hair is put into a ponytail on this hot July summer day.

Fiddling with the strap of my bag, I hear a door open and dull music echoing in the hallways of the oppressive building.

It is QUEEN, I recognize immediately, forming a smile on my lips.

The music reaches my ears as I am leaning myself forward, trying to get closer to the source of sound.

There it is, the mesmerizing voice of the one and only Freddie Mercury, bringing on goosebumps all over my body. I cling to the armrest, on the chair I am sitting in, as the door closes and the sound fades all to fast.

As you can imagine, this last event didn't lessen my massive nervousness.

You now may've recognized for whom of the four bandmates my heart beats.

In certain circumstances this may change within the next hour. But it don't want to anticipate things.

„Miss Kurzmann" a monotone voice behind a to high counter tears me from my thoughts. „Mr Beach will arrive in about 15 minutes. Can I offer you some tee, coffee or water in the meantime?"

„Just water, thank you" I respond barely audible, biting on my lip. I couldn't handle more at the current stage of my tense mood.

15 minutes. Great. 15 minutes unsuccessfully trying to cool down my nerves, to later make a "smooth" impression.

"Here you go, Ms", I hear the monotone voice again, coming closer, handing me my water.

She's a quiet conservative dressed, middle aged woman, wearing her grey curly hair in a shoulder-length bob. The kind of person, you wouldn't expect to work in a studio, with an endless coming and going of superstars.

Otherwise today its me, sitting in that exact same front hall.

I am by all means far from being conservative, but at the same time, even more far from being some "rockstar material".

The reserved type, always taking a backseat and avoiding the spotlight like wolves the fire.

Ok, I have to confess "reserved" is an understatement. I'm hopelessly shy, especially when it comes to situations like today. Not that I would experience something like this every day.

The only possible outcome for today is disaster.

"Ok, time to relax Viv, you already have the bloody job. Get a grip!!" I quietly whisper, trying to convince myself for the remaining time sitting there.

"Still 11 minutes to go" I mumble, as I look at my watch with trembling hands.

"Your first time?" A voice from the other end of the room brings me back to reality.

"Please excuse me, is it your first time working for a band like Queen?" She quickly continuous.

All I can manage as response, is putting on a tortured smile while nodding almost invisible.

"Don't worry Ms, the band is absolutely thrilled by your photographs and barely can await to finally meet you. And by the way, they won't give you a hard time. They're all relaxed, down to earth guys.

Relaxed,.... so the complete opposite of me, it crosses my mind, as I stare at my watch again.

"9 minutes" I whisper, while watching visitors entering the building.

I hesitantly sip on my water, to not look to helpless and lost and to somehow BRIDGE the DAMN REMAINING 9 MINUTES. Please excuse my little emotional outburst.

Ok Viv....

Oh, crap! Now I realize, I haven't introduced myself to you.

I'll cut it short.

I'm Vivian Kurzmann, 33 years old/young (it's up to you to decide), born and raised in Germany, living in London, in the middle of a divorce, freelance photographer with passion and right now on a kamikaze mission.

"Ok Viv. Think about ways to relax!" I tell myself a tad to loud.

"Excuse me? You need something Ms?" It echoes in the room.

"Oh, I'm ...I was just reading something". To cover up my little white lie, I grab the first magazine I can find, from a massive steel table, right in front of me.

Under extreme tension, I flip through the magazine, without even realizing what I'm looking at.

Maybe I find an article about reducing stress in here?

Come on Viv, figure something out. I try to remember while laying back the unhelpful piece of paper.

"Autogenic training!" I mumble. Wrong time wrong place. Don't be ridiculous.

"Smoking?" Yes, I smoke now and than, an awful habit, I know. I decide to quit smoking for today, not wanting to risk to smell like a bilgy ashtray.

"Meditation, Yoga, ...." Google shows me some options on my phone, which I grabbed earlier to soothe my trembling hands.

"Very helpful fuc*** World Wide Web. I cannot possibly roll out my yoga mat in here and do the downward dog." I mutter and shut google down.

Taking a quick look on my phone, I realize: 4 more minutes to go.

Breath Viv, you can do this!!!!! I remind myself over and over again in my mind, that goes absolutely crazy at the very moment.

"Ms Kurzmann, Mr Beach has arrived and will be here in a minute." the nice woman informs me.

Nodding confirmative I gasp a simple "thank you."

Time stretches like chewing gum, as I finally hear a male voice approaching me. "Ms Kurzmann, I welcome you to the "Musicland Studios". I'm delighted to finally meet you in person. I'm already a big fan and admirer of your work." a brightly smiling, effusive gesticulating man surprises me, holding out his hand to me.

"Oh excuse me Ms. My name is Jim Beach."

"Kurzmann, the pleasure's all mine." I babble, while standing up way to fast, almost bumping into him.

Where's the exit? Last chance to do a runner. I helplessly look around. I must look like turkeys voting for christmas, at least I feel this way.

Mr. Beach wastes no time, taking me along the gloomy corridors towards the studio where the band is recording. "I will introduce you to the band to get to know each other and have a quick talk. Let me tell you, you really made an impression." He winks at me walking besides me. "May I ask you to take you to my office afterwards. I would like to discuss the business side and do the paperwork?"

As I stammer a convincing "sure", we reach the door of our destination, noticing, considering the amount of noise and swearing, a heated discussion reaches its peak.

Mr beach opens the door, rolling his eyes while he whispers at me "please excuse this....rockstars at work."

I can't bite back a chuckle, as the door swings open.

"Guys I want to introduce you to Ms Kurzmann." He shouts.

For a split of a second I want to curl up and die.

Much to my reassurance, the band don't even recognize the two intruders and continue their argument.

The man at my side now starts to get uneasy and tenses up, as he screams again. "DAMN GUYS!!!!"

I quickly notice the heat growing in my cheeks, as all eyes lay on us. No, on ME.

Viv, damn, now of all times. Think about ....ice....no, Antarctica, .....uh. FU**

I can only let my gaze wander for a view seconds and take in the room, as a sympathetically grinning young man, with blonde tousled hair and sunglasses - I guess the sun always shines for him, even in a pitch black cellar - room. - sprints towards me, with joyfulness and flings his arms around my neck. "Hi sweetie. Vivian, right? I'm Roger. Roger Taylor, the drummer of the pack." He sputters, as he steps back again, while turning to face the band and rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Taylor." I smile at him bashfully.

"I'll call you Viv...can I call you Viv?" I'm just Roger." He grins, with the brightest smile he can pull of.

"Alright, just Roger ." I joke, unable to suppress a giggle.

"Brian, come over!" He shouts to a large, lean man with a giant mane of brown curly hair.

The shaggy man puts down his guitar, leaning it against the wall and strolls towards me, kindly smiling, reaching out his hand for me. "Ms Kurzmann, it's a pleasure. I'm Brian May."

I like him already. He has this strongly soothing impact. At this moment....priceless.

"Vivian Kurzmann, my pleasure." I reply affectionately.

Viv, you're almost done, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale...it wheels in my head.

Suddenly a shyly smiling man with guitar, is standing in front of me and introduces himself as John Deacon, the bassist of the group. "Miss Kurzmann, welcome to chaos." He jokes.

"I'm very pleased to meet you Mr Deacon." I give him a handshake, a bit to long as I try to interpret his restrained smile.

I think I like John Deacon, he's just like me. Exaggerated shy and reserved. My clone.

I neglect the fact that this man is a music genius!

"FREDDIE, what the hell takes you this long? Take your ass over here!!! I hear the blonde yell behind the mixing console, interrupting my thoughts.

Ok. The time has come. Breeeeath! Don't get hysterical. I internally scream. There's still some hope, this will work out right.

After a while, what seemed like eternity, no less than Freddie Mercury in flash and bone, appears in the room.

Like a tiger on prowl, he paces at me with slow, cautious moves, his lips formed into a devilish grin.

I can swear everything happens in slow motion.

I can feel his eyes - oh yes, his eyes, his beautiful big brown oceans, framed by those incredible long lashes, I could sink into right now - examine every inch of my trembling body as he spits out words, that break down my idyllic world.

"So you're the one to trample on my privacy from now on, like any greedy paparazzi, reporter and journalist out there?" He hisses while hesitating to reach his hand out to me.

I suppose that means FREDDIE MERCURY HATES ME??!!

As he construes my slack jawed and shocked expression, he continues in a dismissive tone.

"I think you know who I am, but what's your name again?

Pulling my hand away that won't receive a handshake from Freddie Mercury today, I stutter "Kurz.....Vi Vivian Kurzmann."

"Kurz Vivian Kurzmann?" he apes me, grinning cheekily, waiting for me to break down.

"This will be fun." He laughs, while shaking his head and stepping back.

STOP! Can we go back please? That's not how I fantasized this!

The thoughts in my head ride a rollercoaster when my stomach cramps at the last spoken words, still echoing in my head.

Everything feels unreal, as I stand there, watching everything in a haze.

Before I can realize what happens, he continues with a disdainfully look on his face.

"To get it straight. I'm not thrilled by the fact someone is chasing me day after day, to document every fucking move I make. I really appreciate my privacy and want you to respect this. No photos beyond the studio and the venues. Got it?"

This will be the most horrible two years of world history. Freddie Mercury hates me.

As he turns round and starts to stroll away and I almost pass out, I begin to stammer

"Mr Mercury I assure that your privacy and the privacy of everybody involved is crucial to me and I..."

„I find this a little hard to believe, considering you do the same like any fucking journalist. Dig around in others life's and take what you can get." he spits at me and turns his back on me.

Bracing up one last time, I start to answer him, as I hear John entering the conversation

"Freddie, calm down. Don't give that pure girl such a hard time."

Freddie disdainfully gazes at me one last time, before he enters the side room.

I can feel a hand on my shoulder, as I come back to reality. „He has his moods. Don't worry, in a view days he will be fine with it and won't cause any trouble." John is trying to calm me.

All I can manage is to nod like an idiot, still standing there, paralyzed from shock.

As I let my eyes wander around the room, Mr Beach stands behind me. He must have left the studio for our short encounter and came back at this disastrous moment.

„Ms Kurzmann, may I walk you out" he asks me politely. „I love to." I answer quickly, in a relieved voice. I just want get out of here. Somewhere far away from the predator, that just rent me.

John, Brian and Roger farewell me, cheering me up by telling me how they're looking forward, working with me.

„Don't worry about our little diva, Viv. He will calm down." Roger nudges me from the side.

„You'll see, he's not that bad." Brian encourages me calmly.

„Unless his shadow follows him." a joking Roger lets out.

„Shadow?" I can manage to ask, confusion washing over my now chalk white face.

„PAUL" they all shout, rolling their eyes in unison, before bursting out laughing.

As I want to dig deeper, Mr Beach interrupts us. „Ms Kurzmann..?" Turning towards him I notice,, he already stands besides the open door, waiting for me to follow him.

I turn to face the boys again. "See you in a view." I wink towards them, as I leave the room.

Disappointed, I couldn't take a closer look to the studio and the band working, I make my way out, following Mr. Beach.

A nice bunch of men, I think to myself, as we walk down the barren corridor, were it not for my new nemesis.

As I told you. Disaster.

Part 2 will follow soon.

Also published on wattpad:

[shay-iamiam]

°Still°

Pairings: Boxer!Bucky x poc!reader (Can be read if your not a Poc! You won't go bald 😂. )

Warnings: Smut and Fluff 18+

A/N: I dont want to "mansplain" myself so I'll be putting my A/N at the end.

| WC: 1.7k

°If I told you this was only gonna hurt

If I warned you that the fire's gonna burn

Would you walk in?

Would you let me do it first?

Do it all in the name of love°

_____________________________

“Sugar come on now don't be mad at me. You know I did it for us, you know that baby?”

“Buck, you know I don’t care about the damn money, I hate seeing you come home every night  with a black eye or a broken nose every week.”

Fighting, it was one word you had heard ever since you were a kid. Growing up dirt poor  in a small town didn’t exactly scream “I got it easy”.

Your mom worked at the local library and bartended on weekends just to make ends meet. Your dad skipped out when you were ten.

Life was never easy for anyone in the small town. The majority of your clothes were hand me downs and goodwill was were you did your back to school shopping.

You knew life wouldn’t be a walk in the park for you ever since you could remember, but when you met Bucky you started to become optomistic. Maybe the card’s could fold in your favor.

Working two jobs one bartending at a local restaurant and the other working at the library on the weekends. You and Bucky struggled to make ends meet. You all decided together that you wanted to leave the small town behind.

“Come on Y/N don’t be mad at me.” He leaned down to kiss you.

Trying to make light of the situation. Bucky decided to take up boxing a “quick way to make cash” was the way he put it.

He wanted to leave town as much as you did. He felt like you deserved the world, he always felt bad that he couldn’t even give a you slice of it.

Good jobs in your town where hard to come by, neither one if you could afford college

“Come on Buck stop it I’m not doing shit with you tonight.” You rolled out of his arms and marched to the bedroom. Nothing was going to happen tonight.

You walked off to your bedroom. You hated what he was doing; tearing himself apart for you.

Bucky let you sit alone for awhile giving you enough time to calm down and not tear him a new one. He entered your shared to find you sitting against the headboard. You looked p at him to find a small smile adoring his face.

“Come on sugar at least give me some sugar.”  He laughed out loud at his own joke, Bucky always had terrible sense of humor you couldn’t help but laugh with him, all your previous anger disappearing.

You scotted towards of the bed and wrapping your legs around Bucky backside.

Knowing you both needed this tonight, being in each other arms for the first time in weeks.

Bucky worked odd jobs in between boxing trying to make ends meet. He hadn’t been home much.

The only thing you two had time for at end the end of the day was a quick peck on the lips before you sunk into the bed.

“I just hate seeing you hurt… Saving up to get out of here just doesn’t seem worth it if  you literally have to kill yourself to do it.” tears had began to well up in your eyes.

Bucky worked so hard no matter what job he had.

You watched  as he chipped away at himself little by little all for the love of you.

“I know baby but I promised you that we would get out of this town. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure it happens .” His hand gripped onto your ankles gently rubbing circles into your feet.

This man would move heaven and earth to see you happy. He didn’t care if he had to break himself in half to do it.

Bucky moved off the bed throwing off his dirty gym clothes. Today had been long for both of you; the only thing you wanted to do was be balled up in his embrace.

Following his lead you thru you let your clothes scatter on the floor, hearing the faint sound of the shower dribbling down.

One thing that you and Bucky joked about was not being able to afford some big fancy spa you both always said the shower was your “free getaway” spot.

Grabbing your robe you padded down the hallway to met Bucky in the shower. He was lend against the counter waiting for you.

“Come on sugar the water is warm.” he half heartedly joked.

“Baby you know we can’t do that the water bill will be out the roof this month.”

You rarely took long hot shower in fear the water bill would be more expensive.

“Don’t worry about that. I worked a double at the mill friday we can afford one long shower Y/N.” He grabbed the ties pulling each one slowly, pushing the fabric over your shoulders the floor softly hit the floor. Bucky’s eyes traveled up and down your naked from smiling to himself.

“I feel like we haven’t been together in awhile, come on baby get it.” he grabbed you by your hips and let you settle in the shower first.

The warm water felt amazing on your skin; it felt good steam building up quickly in the small bathroom.

If only the water could wash away your problems not only the dirt you accumulated along the day.

Bucky grabbed your loofah and loaded it up with your favorite body wash. Swiping his hands over your collarbone moving down to your breast, rubbing the soapy sponge over your nipples working his way down to your core moving slowly nodding for you to spread your legs further apart.

He worked slowly until your skin had been covered in body wash. It was like he was remembering your body again. He moved slowly over every area spending extra time gliding his hands over your skin.  

The act was  slow and simple but you couldn’t help moaning out when he run a fresh town over your folds.

His hands worked slowly as he began rubbing your inner thighs. You knew what he wanted, you wanted to feel connected to him to; remembering the way his skin felt under your hands.

Skimming his fingers he rubbed fast and slow circle on your clit causing you to throw your head back and relax against his chest.

“Bucky hold on.. Let me take care of you.” shuffling to move Bucky under the warm spray of the water. You lathered up his towel and began to glide the soapy foam over his skin just as he did for you; taking your time on every area you touched. Working your way down to his erect member.

His hand hit the shower wall with a loud thud as you counited washing over his lower half.

“Baby slow down.” his voice was horse from his fast approaching release you’d caused.

“I’m not cumming without you.”

Bucky grabbed you by the waist and hiked your leg up on the bathtub leng, parting your folds with his fingers skimming down on the sensitive area.

He scissored his fingers inside you preparing you for the stretch of his cock.

“I love you baby i’m right here with you.”

Bucky moved into you with one slow motion rolling his hips; grasping onto your breast massaging them in his hands. He moved slowly the drag of his cock along your core made your head spin.

The slow lazy pace continued until felt you appending release.

“Bucky I- I’m going to cum.” your voice was barely above a whisper. The feeling was so intense you felt as if you wouldn’t be able to breath.

Your hand smacked against the shower wall, you bgan to bounce back on his cock moaning out his name the faster you went.

Without a word Bucky spilled himself into you, his release caused your own. Your legs where shaking the feeling of his cum cok pumping inside of you caused your walls to clamp down on his cock again.

“Y/N your-your squeezing the shit out of me baby..Fuck.”

Bucky counited to spill into you his cum filling you up until it dripped on the shower floor. He slid out of you leaning his back against the shower wall.

You dropped to your knees and took him into your mouth licking up everything that was left.

Bucky eyes winded at the sight of you. He was still sensitive but with the way you looked up at him he knew he would cum again.

He grabbed your arms and yanked you back up to your feet. He pushed you against the wall and hiked your legs around his waist.

“Fuck baby the way you were sucking me, God Y/N how do you expect me to be able to calm down after the first one.”

His cock slid into your entrance again sliding in and out like there was no tomorrow.

His head dropped to crook of your neck as he continued to slide into you,knowing he was close you decide to help with his release.

“I know your close go ahead Bucky cum inside me again.”

Your words of encouragement caused Bucky release. Calling your name as he collapsed against you and the shower wall.

You snuggled into Bucky s side as you listen to rain drip down on the earth. Not remembering the last time you held each other in a warm embrace.

“Baby?”  Bucky’s voice broke the silence in the room. You turned to your side to face him.

“You know I would do anything for you. And if that means comin home with a couple of bruise every night than by all means that’s what I’ll do. I made a promise to that we could leave this town together. I don’t care how hard it gets I’ll do everything I  possibly can do to make it happen.”

You knew not to fight Bucky. When he made a decision it was final it was almost impossible to change his mind especially when it was something regarding to you.

“I love you baby I just hate seeing you hurt.” you skimmed your fingers across his lips. “I know you wont stop so i’ll be behind you every step of the way.

“Thank you Y/N, without you I would have gone insane.”

“Well we can be crazy together baby.. I’ll be anything for you.”

Part 2

___________________________________________

°A/N: I hope this clears up any confusion. I'm rewriting this series! I stared this a couple of months ago. But at the time I was writing for validation from others and not for the enjoyment of myself😌. I'll be writing this series because I genuinely want to! So I'll be finishing this series it's only going to be around five parts. °

°The next part is actually already written (Y'all I never do that 👀°

°I was going back and forth on the whole tagging people thing. But if you would really like to be tagged just let me know! 😌°

Feedback is beautiful and amazing! But if you don't want to leave any I'm pretty sure I'll live.