#i wonder if a third copy exists..... and if it does exist who has it ;)

[mareastrorum]

These are just initial thoughts, and perhaps I’ll learn something that changes my mind on it, but I’m glad to see Critical Role making the leap to their own subscription service with Beacon.

As a lead in: I’m an attorney that has some background in IP law, though it isn’t what I practice currently. I’ve kept in contact with several active practitioners, particularly those that represent small-time creators either in their own independent practice or via nonprofits. I do not have an extensive Rolodex of IP peers, nor do I spend the money to keep up on IP CLEs. I’m just someone who used to know a ton because I did heavy research and work in that space, and that hasn’t been the case for years.

So here’s my thoughts a bit on the IP angle:

The primary reason I’m happy to see this leap is that CR is taking active steps to keep control over its IP. It’s a boring thing to most people, but when I start paying attention to a specific creator (authors, directors, companies, etc.), I tend to be very attentive to how they use their IP. How freely do they license their marks to partner with other creators to make merch? How often do they allow others to make adaptations or derivatives of their copyrights? What is the quality of those products? What is the supply chain like? Are those third parties objectionable in some way? Were the other parties faithful to the original works or marks? Was this a cash grab or an earnest effort to make something worth the price tag?

Honestly, I like how CR run their business. They have a history of tapping fans and fellow small businesses when making new merch or spinoffs. They embrace the culture of fan-made derivative works, both by featuring fanart/cosplay and by sharing their success. Do you know how rare it is for a company to pay fan artists for their already-made and freely posted work and then sell books of it? Let me be clear: CR bought a limited license from each artist so they could print and sell each work in a physical book, then paid the cost of publishing that book with no guarantee that CR would make that money back, let alone profit. I have a copy of the collector’s edition art books: they’re actually very well made and the packaging definitely cost a pretty penny. That’s not a rainmaker idea, that’s genuinely risking financial loss to sell something people could access for free if they wanted to.

The art books aren’t a one-off either. Darrington Press is CR’s separate LLC for tabletop games. (It’s good business practice to split off companies that handle products in different industries.) CR has also made shows based on those games, and the Candela Obscura series has quite a dedicated audience. Everything about Candela belongs to them: the game itself, the rule book, all the art in the book, the web series based on the game, and merch. It’s so successful that they invested in scheduling a live show for Candela later this month. That’s HUGE.

Contrast that with the distribution of Campaign 1 and the first 19 episodes of Campaign 2. CR cannot host those videos themselves; Geek & Sundry still exists and still holds what I presume to be distribution rights (but I don’t have the contract to review). So G&S gets to host those videos on YouTube and reaps the advertising. I can’t speak to whatever share CR gets from that, but considering that CR is locked out of hosting their own copies of those videos, I doubt it’s much, if any, revenue. (If you’re wondering why CR just didn’t buy those rights back, I ask: what incentive does G&S have to sell something that’s making them money for no cost?)

Knowing that background about G&S, I was wary of CR choosing Amazon to host and distribute The Legend of Vox Machina. Originally, TLOVM was not the plan; CR had a kickstarter for an animated special based on C1. It was only because they blew past the goal that CR was able to make an entire season. The reasonable assumption is that choosing Amazon had to have secured CR additional funding for future seasons of the show, which seems evident from how quickly season 2 was announced, Mighty Nein Animated is also going to be a thing, and that season 3 of TLVOM is scheduled for fall 2024. CR had the option of just doing 1 season and keeping it purely in their control, but going with Amazon meant they could animate more of their works. Animation is expensive. I cannot stress enough how doubtful I am that CR would have been able to afford this many episodes and both campaigns if they had not gone this route. As wary as I was in the start, it paid off, and it’s going well—so far. Hopefully CR doesn’t regret that decision if Amazon tries something sleazy. But, as before, we don’t have the contracts and can’t know how secure CR’s position is if any dispute came up.

CR also partnered with Dark Horse Comics to make Vox Machina comics and Might Nein Origins comics. What’s especially surprising is that each of the cast had a hand in writing the MNO comics for their characters, with Matt listed for multiple. That isn’t very common with comic adaptations. Often times, IP owners let comic companies go ham with minimal oversight. Being listed as one of the authors comes with IP rights that have to be negotiated. That means that Dark Horse had to talk with CR about whether that warrants more or less revenue going to which party in exchange for that—or, alternatively, whether the comic gets made at all. That’s a ballsy move. You think people can just demand to write the comics that a publishing company is going to pay to print? Pffft. CR wanted some creative control, and that is a big ask. However, Dark Horse still has the distribution rights, both digitally and for physical copies. You couldn’t buy the comics from CR until they came out with the library edition, a book bound compilation of 4/8 comics. But the publisher is still Dark Horse; CR is just allowed to sell the book directly from their own site as well.

Contrast that with the novels about CR characters. CR partnered with Penguin Random House to publish novels about Vex and Vax (Kith & Kin), Lucien (The Nine Eyes of Lucien), and Laudna (What Doesn’t Break). Liam and Laura were vocal about having some say in K&K, whereas Madeline Roux said in an interview that she had full control over TNEOL. Both of those novels were narrated with CR voices, but narrating a book doesn’t come with IP rights, it just brings in a paycheck. There’s a lot less IP control in there compared to the comics, but this isn’t abnormal for book publishing. To be blunt, I doubt PRH would have agreed to publish the novels if anyone from CR had been a co-author or had heavy oversight over the author or the editing. I don’t think PRH even considered that as an option. Either an author that has already managed to sell X number of copies or nothing. Creative control over a book a huge ask, asks come with reduced revenue, and switching to books from a web series is already a leap. The fact that Laura and Liam had any say is surprising, really.

That was a long meandering tour of what we’ve seen CR do with its IP. The reason I bring up each of these things is that navigating the way to protect an IP in this space is rife with challenges. Different types of IP warrant different strategies because of the cost involved in creating each medium and the challenges placed by industries that have already sprung up around them. Any time that a third party is tapped to create an IP, it’s usually because they already have the funds and resources to create the work, and CR has to negotiate for revenue, creative control, distribution, and—the big one—who gets to be the owner. These are not easy, quick, or fun conversations, and CR is always going to be the smaller company at the table.

Knowing that, I’m not surprised or worried that CR is creating its own independent subscription service with Beacon. It tells me that they’re being careful with their IP whenever they can. A subscription service means they don’t have to trade away distribution rights or give up ad revenue to a third party. They’re in this for a long term investment, and that requires solid income not tied to third parties that can definitely outspend them in litigation in the event of a dispute. A subscription for bonus content is one of many parts in a diverse revenue stream.

(All that said, this isn’t meant to criticize creators that cant afford to do this type of thing. It took 9 years for CR to get to the point where Beacon is financially feasible and a desirable business decision. They have enough ongoing, popular content to warrant paying for a subscription, and they’ve built sufficient trust with their audience that more will be added. That takes time and an awful lot of money.)

As a final note, I take this step as a sign that CR definitely intends to stick around. This isn’t a move people make when they plan on ending the business after the current campaign. I’m glad to see CR is taking steps to secure their foundation and keep making new content.

I’m sure people will chime in on other issues (cost, content exclusivity, etc.), but I hope my perspective gives an idea of why this sort of thing is good for business generally and why it would be good for CR.

[popponn]

things about sae.

it's sae's turn in my brain microwave. i want to understand you, underlashes senior. headcanons +observation+ rambling. spoilers, will be updated as time goes on.

scathing, mean af vocabs. pretty rude even as a child. but compared to rin, his cursing seems to be much tamer.

is REALLY focused on soccer. but also said in the character interview to not "only be able to/focus on soccer like him".

but in his introduction to u20 shows that he seems to value someone who goes all in to soccer. and it's kind of in line with the things he "admits" and chided. example a: shidou and isagi being individuals who are undeniably soccer obsessed (though on isagi's case as they haven't even talk, if i remember correctly, this might be more because of isagi's way of winning through "making use of luck"). example b: things he said in the u20 introduction in response to sendou.

headcanonish but this guy is giving me "burnout gifted child" vibe with all the prodigal status, expectations, and being hit in the face by the world. like what are you. are you satisfied by marina??????

there are few moments where he displays something that is pretty close to 'praise', but say it not to the related person/group himself. (i.e. his thoughts of blue lock in locker room, his comment about "dont switch out any of the u20 member".)

like is he being not nice on purpose????? honestly probably. headcanonish, but if seeing his way of giving comments to rin pre-spain, it's been like that since he was little. (i will check rin's ln again later)

in contrast to rin having "natural luck", this guy seems to more " making/seeking luck". but idk yet, with only ice cream sticks as clues. sae backstory and ln spin off when.

his eyes during the confrontation with rin in that snowy night are pretty expressive. but since visual cues leave a really wide room for interpretation + bllk tendency to subvert things, i will not comment. but honestly i really agree with the sentiment that sae was hurt by rin's words, but in the end the discouragement seems to come more from a place of "i don't want you to get hurt so just go home and don't play soccer anymore" (very very hc and more of an interpretation, as sae's pov is still non existent)

aka yeah, this guy is shit at displaying concern and any sort of care. headcanon but. do you see the vibe??? with rin???? like it's similar. what is this genetic.

simple fashion, but pretty trendy and chic(?).

this guy seems like a family guy who misses his family a lot. (please make up soon with your lil bro)

watches chibi maruko chan. has habits that genuinely reminds me of old people (drinking tea, looking at sea, thinking of family).

people at blue lock think of him as someone who seems to be good at study, but looking at the pattern of hyperfocused people in blue lock it either goes two way: a) his skill at everything else is questionable at best, abysmall at worst ; b) he is an all-rounder indeed.

but then again there is also the third type aka "good at football, still functional at everything except communication and emotional management skill".

his way of talking in jp is, to put it simply, pretty casual like guys his age. the thing that are the rudest part of it was his choice of words and the fact that he seems to talk like this to everyone. even his elder. and also the way he is very blunt in expressing his opinion.

but somehow that bluntness is gone when it came to showing vulnerable emotions. talk about emotional constipation.

if his character interview is reliable and unbiased, as it is from sae's own pov, his relationship with his parents seems okay.

genuinely wondering about his parents' canon response to his and rin's cold war.

does he even have friends. no like seriously.

his brother and him are really similar in many ways. rin is probably copying him in some ways tho—that, or rin's own issues. or sae's own issues.

please just make up with your brother. (2)

after spain his bang is gone. as in he just pushed them up. in u20 it still went down sometimes in a few panels.

he likes numbers. maybe he really is smart.

genuinely looking at him like "please get a hobby" not even as an insult but out of genuine concern. this dude has so many issues and the burnout child prodigy vibe is real strong with this one.

but not fully his fault. pretty much live alone overseas, probably with no friends his age and just a manager as his support system, went through a crisis, is a (probable) family loving guy with his family far away from him, then came home to his beloved lil bro he spoiled and dotted on and shared a dream with saying hurtful things to him on his lowest point. and not supporting his new decision and dream. from sae's pov, it's brutal.

i can defend rin on this too tho. honestly please talk to each other, itoshi bros. or acknowledge that maybe neither of you were in not in the best state of mind during that confrontation.

seems logical and he does likes numbers. but honestly, he just acts as he wants—look at how he talks to journalist, how he has 0 hesitation to leave an ongoing match.

went to spain at 13 according to rin's spin off novel. also mentioned to "hate to lose" and seems to be a strict perfectionist.

must be noted however that how rin sees him seems to be very biased. a bit of rin analysis/hc, but there seems to be "putting nii chan on a pedestal" going on there. how their childhood truly is from sae's perspective is still unknown. on rin's part tho, seems to be a very nice period.

is rich. so the snobby rich condescending guy aura is probably not that far from the truth. his sense of money seems to be a mess, as a few hundred millions is a small amount for him.

this guy seems to be picky with who he respects and he really doesn't hold back in disrespecting someone he doesn't. even higher ups and older people.

does skincare canonly.

doesn't seem to have friends so far...? (nel arc, before pxg match) but if we look at how rin is now, unsurprising.

in rin's novel, rin's physique is mentioned to be "better" than sae's actually. with how "rin wins in luck" while sae "loses" motive exist through the ice cream sticks, probably this motive will come up again when sae appears again.

[quiescentdestiny]

Decidedly started wayward son now (finally). Now that I've finished both the AOUV books (that brain rot is gonna be there a WHILE though ngl. I'm gonna be thinking about those books forever too.) But I also (finally) have a physical copy of Wayward Son. And the third book, so I don't have to stop.

anyways. contemplating just putting my thoughts live-streamed once more, but I might have already read 20 chapters (RR why. why are there so many chapters in these books. it's too many.) (I live-streamed the first 20 chapters to a friend on discord lmao.

Spoilers under the cut I guess?

It's good to see that Agatha is one step away from trading one magickal cult for another less magickal one lmao poor girl 🤣

Me three pages later: well at least she knows 🤣 God, I love her.

fun fact! everyone on goodreads hates Agatha. I think they're wrong and am even more convinced that a bunch of people who like to review things on goodreads, cannot, in fact, read.

Oh boy Penny. Well that is certainly a decision. BF hangs up on you, show up in America to surprise him. what could go wrong.

oof. yeah that. that could go wrong.

No no, Baz is right I'd also be mad if I had to spend an entire day driving through Nebraska. Road trips suck. 😌

I agree with his entire fucking list. Illinois also sucks. And Kansas.

Poor man. At least he got cheese cake factory out of it I suppose. Does cheesecake factory really not exist in Europe?

Simon having all this idealistic wonder about fucking Iowa is hilarious 😂 man Baz is so real. the last road trip I went on was 16 hours to the coast of Texas. you know what's even better than Iowa being so similar to Illinois that they may as well not have separated them? driving ten hours in one day and still being in fucking Texas.

Glshdvdisbksa reading a British perspective of a Renn Faire is absolutely fucking thrilling. I love this book.

lmaooooo fighting vampires at the renn faire 10/10. as an American, who has in fact been to multiple Renaissance Faires I love this book.

dfghdjkfsgh man this poor kid is not dealing with being in a civilian after war very well at all, but man the moment something interesting happens he's like ✨😊 meanwhile I AM CRYING ABOUT IT. how is the trauma going there Simon?

"I was being poetic before, about America being endless. But Nebraska really is endless." my lord this man really just sums up road-trips.

[seventeenlovesthree]

SPOILER HEAVY REVIEW/FIRST IMPRESSIONS/META FOR DIGIMON ADVENTURE 02 THE BEGINNING MOVIE

So I had the privilege to watch the movie on release day and I have thoughts. Very unfiltered and out of order and knowing myself, my opinion will definitely change upon discussing, contextualizing and rewatching it, but... I need to get that first impression out of my system, maybe already link it with a few things we've previously known. So the following text will go through my experience in the cinema, the course of the entire movie and my personal opinions, so...

READ THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK, BECAUSE THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. LOTS OF THEM. ALL OF THEM.

(A/N: There will also be trigger warnings about child abuse and violence/gore/blood, so again, please be warned and read cautiously if you choose to do so.)

Alright, first of all, this was one of the special screening events all over Germany and, obviously, the majority of people who watched alongside my friend and me were nerds around my age. Those who used to watch the German dub back in the day - which was just a wonderful experience in general. The cinema wasn't completely sold out, but there were still lots of people! And I was there in my pseudo-Hikari costume nobody recognized, heh.

Before the screening, the event - hosted by KSM, who are responsible for the German dub - held a little trivia quiz! Which was pretty neat, they had questions like "What does Digimon stand for?", "What year did the plot of Digimon Adventure take place, when was 02?", "How many Tri movies are there?", "How many Digimon seasons exist in sum?", "What is te production company of Digimon called?", "What does the title of the first Tri movie - Saikai - mean in German?", "What is the first theme song called in Japanese?"

(The season number was a trick question since they said, including Tri as separate season may or may not count, but I had issues with this one too. And I had actually forgotten what "Saikai" meant...)

They handed out Blu-Ray copies of Kizuna for the right answers - and I actually won one by answering when the German dub of Adventure aired in Germany for the first time correctly. Good old 2000... I'll never forget that.

Then the movie started - I still don't really know how to go about this, so again, excuse the looseness of my rambling;

First of all, the German subs were okay, but once again a little loose and too quick/not accurate here and there. For example, when Tailmon audibly said "Hikari", the subs said "You are right". Not to mention that you HEARD them use the Japanese names, but the subs used their English dub names.

In the scene that was already shown to audiences last year, Takeru was talking about Koushirou not getting enough sleep and Hikari added that when she called Taichi, he scolded her since he was busy. The German subs outright skipped Hikari saying "Onii-chan", and made her just say "he". So... It sounded like she, too, was referring to Koushirou. Very weird...

Okay, to the stuff we haven't known yet!

If you asked me what this movie was about, I'd probably say: It's a story of child abuse and the consequences of miscommunication (and wishes). In several directions. And oh boy, the meta analysis to be written about this will take a while to conduct, because while the stuff appears to be "pretty on the nose" on surface level, it definitely CAN go deeper. The third theme of the movie is "the power of friendship" - and water is wet, obviously!

So we know about the giant Digiegg in the sky that has been floating there for a week. There is the message "Everyone should have friends and a Digimon partner" displayed on all kinds of screens. We see that Taichi and Koushirou are doing PR work while the 02 kids are hanging out in Daisuke's (employers') ramen restaurant until they see Rui on TV climbing Tokyo Tower, holding a Digivice. So they rush to save him as he falls - just to be greeted with annoyance and ignorance.

He tells them that he killed his own partner, that partnerships between humans and Digimon are a curse and should not exist. Miyako can't accept that and tells Hawkmon to stop him before he can leave.

So Rui goes: "Ah, how obedient. You are doing what you're told without questioning it and you probably like it that way."

We can tell - there is baggage there. Lots of baggage.

They later learn that the Digiegg may be Rui's partner after all - and since he claims that he climbed up there to talk to it, Daisuke is obviously super fired up ("You have balls, I like that", the cinema laughed out loud) and wants to help.

So of course he drags his boyfriend Jogress partner with him and they fly up there with Paildramon - just to get attacked by the egg and fall into a portal to travel back in time. What follows is them seeing Rui's backstory. And once they're back, he elaborates on it further.

At some point, my friend nudged me and asked me the following: "Do you also feel like you're watching Madoka Magica?"

Yes. Yes I did. 300%. I already assumed it'd be the case, since I initially thought Rui would be a time-jumping Homura and Ukkomon just another version of Kyubey. They even share lots of visual cues respectively, so it was not unlikely to happen, right?

... I was only half wrong there. Rui is not (intentionally) able to jump through time at this point. And it's actually not the kind of multiverse story I initially expected. (Even though there WILL be a change in the timeline, but we will get to that later.)

Ukkomon - is definitely Kyubey though. It appears in front of Rui on his 4th birthday. Which is on February 29 1996, meaning he is a leap year child. The Hikarigaoka incident took place a year prior - but he wasn't part of it.

TW Child Abuse

Rui lives in Hikarigaoka too. He's coming from an abusive household - his father is in a coma, and his mother may or may not have developed a bipolar disorder due to the stress, because she can be sweet one moment, and snaps completely the next, screams at him. Rui has marks of physical abuse all over his body and appears rather ruffled and malnourished... So when he accidentally wets himself on his birthday, his mother throws him out into the snowy cold of the night, half-dressed, to punish him. It's jarring to watch.

He wishes so badly for things to change. To have friends. To be protected from harm.

That's when a Digiegg appears in front of him - and Ukkomon hatches, asking about his wish and a digivice appears. He is, in this case, the first child to be partnered with a Digimon.

A Digimon that is capable of fulfilling wishes. Because it is connected with a godlike entity... Where have we heard THAT before...?

So what happens? Rui wished for friends. Rui wished for protection.

Suddenly, his mom starts being nice to him again. His dad wakes up from the coma. He has his Digimon by his side, who protects him from bullies and every type of harm. All Ukkomon says it wants is for Rui to be happy. To make him smile. To make sure to make him lots of friends who are just like him. That's all that matters to it, obediently following the initial idea, literally without questioning.

If you watched Madoka Magica (and also lots of other media that involve wish fulfillment, including Miraculous Ladybug), you know that there is always a price to be paid for wishes. And that you need to be VERY careful with how you word your wishes.

It all falls apart in 2003. What happens in 2003? Diablomon strikes back. Literally. The events are shown on television, we see Omegamon fighting Armageddomon - and Ukkomon explains to Rui how happy he can be that all these kids out there are fighting and willing to die for him specifically... Because... They became Chosen Children because of Rui's wish. Ukkomon enabled their partnerships to make "lots of friends who are just like you, having their own Digimon" - and Rui is horrified by the idea. It can be assumed that Ukkomon granted the "wish" in unity with Homeostasis (as deducted by Hikari at least and that will be relevant later on when we come to tying the lore together).

And then, in the next scene, you realize why Megumi Ogata voices Rui. The Shinji Ikari vibes are real with this one.

Ukkomon goes all "I would do everything for you to be happy" and we learn... That Rui's parents are already dead. They're just puppets Ukkomon has controlled to pretend a happy family life. It can be assumed that the same goes for the neighbour children who were seen during previous birthday scenes.

TW Violence/Gore/Blood

To say that the next scene is Ghost Game levels of gory and terrifying is an understatement. "I didn't know you took me to watch a horror movie", my friend says next to me. Rui ends up strangling his Digimon, trying to choke it to death, telling it that it completely misunderstood what he wanted, what he needed, what really makes him happy, that he never wanted any of this to happen. "This is not the happiness you wished for, Shinji-kun." When that doesn't work, he tries to smash his Digivice with a baseball bat... And loses his eye in the process. Fear not, Ukkomon pulls its own eye out to give it to Rui. More blood, more gore, body horror ensues as Ukkomon starts to melt away while crying in agony and disappears completely as Rui is surrounded by blood, the corpses of his parents and his own despair.

His narration ends there. All of that has happened years ago.

And I must say, I love Hikari. I really, really do. But in that moment, when she said "Poor Ukkomon, it just wanted you to be happy", I groaned. And heavily agreed with Rui when he replied "And that makes every action okay?!"

So again, one of the core messages of the movie is the subject of miscommunication. Rui says that there is no such thing as "unconditional bonds" and that "we can never fully understand each other". The Shinji Ikari vibes are SO strong with this one. The main conclusion the 02 group comes to is that they should have talked to each other better. That they should have talked about each other's intentions and needs, etc. And of course that IS a valuable lesson to take away from in every single way, but... Hikari's initial response felt so tone deaf to me in that moment. Of course she would empathize with the Digimon, but blaming the whole thing entirely on the abused kid not "communicating" properly with his partner after he finally experienced kindness and care after all the pain is just... Part of me wants to say "Yes, Hikari wouldn't want any Digimon to suffer, she hates injustice and condemns cruelty, we went through that with Ken's Digimon Kaiser arc", but the other part says "Hikari, do you remember the time you and your brother were traumatized because you two miscommunicated as literal children?! Taichi hurt you because he had good intentions, but you two didn't properly communicate - yet you never condemned him for that either, so I guess that's where it comes from and you haven't processed your own trauma yet after all." I am obviously not saying that she should condemn Taichi for what happened, but we also know that she idealizes him and that may have been her idealizing Ukkomon too. Hikari will be a kindergarten teacher, she will probably have to deal with other traumatized children in the future too, so... It's good that she contemplates her words as soon as Rui snaps at her, you can visibly see that she's thinking about it more closely. It's important to see the whole picture here - and that picture revolves around the circle of abuse. It's multi-faceted and it's important to address topics like that.

Then the egg hatches - and turns into a giant tentacle monster in the sky. But instead of Third Impact, it just created millions of Digieggs, to give each and every single human a Digimon partner. Because that was the initial wish, right...? To create more friends and give everyone a Digimon partner - just like the message on the screens says.

The kids start to panic, if that happens, it will cause lots of chaos all over the world, forcing partnerships to happen immorally like that, so they need to think quickly. Knowing that they need to stop it. Fight it. (Spoilers for Madoka Magica incoming here: In a way, Ukkomon's countless strings also reminded me of Kremhild Gretchen, the absurdly large witch form of Madoka that was so loaded with karma due to Homura's time traveling revolving around her that she turned out to be the most powerful, most devastating witch, nurtured by despair, capable of swallowing the entire planet, if not the entire galaxy...)

But... If Ukkomon is responsible for partnerships to be formed in the first place... Doesn't that mean that all ~60.000 partnerships that already exist will vanish too?

They discuss, they think about the consequences... And good old shoujo magical girl protagonist Daisuke Motomiya decides that partnerships aren't easily broken (*cries in Kizuna*), so they gotta go for it. The thing in the sky exists because of Rui's wish - so he is the only one who can solve this. Talk it out. Communicate it out.

And after some protagonist speeches and mutual encouragement, the Digimon all evolve up to their highest available level (meaning Imperialdramon, Shakkoumon and Silphymon - but they still had to show off Angewomon's new evolution animation prior to that, because DAMN) and rush to the place of the scene. Daisuke and Ken send Rui to fly into the egg in order to have a heart-to-heart, assuming that the Digimon evolved into this big tentacle monster in the first place because it just wanted to find a way to talk. (My friend interpreted this as some kind of Skullgreymon evolution, but I will get to that again in a sec!)

Thus he jumps in, travels back in time again, THIS TIME intentionally like the true Homura he was always meant to be - while Daiken act like a married couple wishing for their son to do his best.

If you know time travel stories, you also know that you're wise NOT to interact with what happened in the past. Ken even advises not to do that when they traveled back in time for the first time. But adult!Rui talks to his mother in the past, telling her that he knows she's got it hard - but that he wants her to listen to what her son has to say, because he really loves her. That makes the switch flip and she rushes to her neglected son to hug him... Hence causing the meeting between kid!Rui and Ukkomon to never happen. So Homura basically reached Madoka this time, huh.

Ukkomon still faces adult!Rui at the time and place they originally met - and Rui says he doesn't have anything to wish for anymore... Which Ukkomon at this point already knew. They have a light-hearted little exchange, talking about the things they actually didn't like about each other, finally being honest... And that they want to start over and meet again. "But for that, you need to let go of me now", Ukkomon says.

Rui travels back to the future and tells Daisuke and Ken that they still have to defeat the tentacle monster for the sake of a happy future. Of course they succeed, don't even need any new or special evolution or artifact to do that - and Ukkomon reverts back to a small egg in Rui's hands, ready to start over. With better communication this time, breaking the cycle of abuse once and for all.

And that's where it happens: The potential lore breaking - I mean, the whole thing is already confusing enough, which I will break down in a second, but...

Since the cause of the partnerships has now been taken out of the history books - the Digivices start to disappear.

All of them. Every single one on the entire planet. We see a BUNCH of international Chosen Children we've known from 02 before (including Wallace, Terriermon and Lopmon!) watching it happen with melancholic eyes. The Digivices slowly disintegrate into small light particles that float towards the sky... In the end, the kids reminisce about what the Digivices were there for in the first place, that they were a sign for the bond and connection between them and their Digimon - and that that may have been the case in the past, but that they're not needed anymore. That they don't need any device as proof for their connection. The bond between humans and Digimon can exist without having Digivices - at least from now on. So, in comparison to Kizuna, no partnership has "ended" this time.

Then a snowball fight happens between the 02 kids, their Digimon partners and Rui - initiated by Daisuke, who definitely intended to lighten the mood a little and cheer everyone up again. In the post credit scene, we see Rui fondly looking at the Digiegg in his hands.

The end.

... Wow.

Where to start, where to end. First of all, I NEEDED to check the Digimon Adventure novels again to see what exactly the Digivices were and how the process of "choosing the children" came to be. Excuse my rambling again, because I am still trying to figure out if all of this REALLY is lore-breaking or if there is a way to tie all of this together somehow.

So first of all - yes, Gennai did not know all about this, because apparently, a kid's wish caused all of this to get amplified. Homeostasis does not have a physical form, so it created its agents like Gennai - and PROBABLY Ukkomon too. Since we know the Digital World has "wish granting" abilities, I can accept there being a singular being that is capable of doing the same thing.

The question is - was the way the kids were utilized a happy accident too then? I'll try to interpret this as well as I can, but take all of this with a grain of salt, I may be completely wrong:

So to go in order: A Digiegg gets into the real world in 1995, and Homeostasis gets to scan Hikari, Taichi and the others, discovering the potential they have - since Hikari is the child that enables the hatched Botamon to evolve into Greymon super quickly, Homeostasis sends Parrotmon to retrieve it. Afterwards, in 1996, a Digimon like Ukkomon "would appear who had special connections with [a child] in the real world" (just like the 5 we kinda thought were the original Chosen Children). And thus, through Rui's wish, the "partnership system" was founded. Basically, Ukkomon's wish fulfillment powers enabled a system based on the limitless potential (of wishes and the bond between humans and Digimon) that was deemed useful by Homeostasis for the sake of saving the worlds. A system that wasn't in place like this before, so Rui was basically some kind of "prototype" - as was Ukkomon, kinda testing the waters of partnerships in the first place. And through analyzing the other 8 kids in the meantime, their potential had been discovered, which is why THEY also had Crests created for themselves. Like Ukkomon said - they came into existence to "protect" him, so he wouldn't have to save the worlds himself.

Takeru was the one who went "Wait, that's different information from what we have gotten!?" when Rui explains the whole situation, but I guess it could kinda make sense like this. The initial idea was based on a wish to just create "humans with Digimon friends" - and Homeostasis discovered that there is a HUGE "potential" in those partnerships since Digimon were capable of evolving faster and higher. And that also kiiiiinda explains why Gennai wasn't ever fully able to explain all of this, since - it was just very hard to explain. "You were chosen, because a kid wished for it" wouldn't sound convincing to anyone upon hearing it for the first time, right? Especially considering how often that question came up in several characters throughout the series. Sora, Jyou, Ken, just for example... They had all asked the question "why were WE chosen?" in one context or another. And now I can't stop thinking about this:

And... Even though it wasn't directly stated or alluded to in the movie, it kiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda corresponds with the neglect theory too. Since - the moment Rui wanted to end the partnership, the Digivice malfunctioned and Ukkomon just disappeared. It didn't happen the same way as it did to Taichi, Yamato, Sora and Menoa - but in a way, the way Ukkomon appeared as a giant tentacle monster, YEARS after the departure from Rui, is somewhat reminiscent of Eosmon appearing as well. And to get back to my friend's idea - yes, that also means that Eosmon and Ukkomon's tentacle form are BASICALLY like Skullgreymon, the result of neglect and corruption in their human partners' hearts. The only difference here is that both Eosmon and Ukkomon had BONKERS abilities (that were both linked to Chosen Children specifically, one of them trapping their consciousnesses and turning those back into children, the other capable of creating partnerships in the first place), whereas Skullgreymon was just terrifying...

It also doesn't completely contradict Menoa's theory from Kizuna - since, again, in the end, that was just a theory. That children are chosen "because of their potential". This can be read in both ways: their potential for the sake of causing evolution for Digimon as well as their potential to be a friend to Rui. They couldn't possibly maintain that if they "lost their ways"... (By the way, we have also disproven that "becoming an adult" makes the bond vanish, because if that were the case, Jyou would have lost Gomamon YEARS ago. I stand with the neglect theory here.)

Does that make sense? I'm not entirely sure. But stating it like this satisfies my mind more than how it felt when I left the cinema. I just wish they used more analogies and visual cues (like the ring and wordings from Kizuna) to connect the dots a bit better, but maybe I overlooked a few things.

There were a few things that absolutely got me into overthinking mode, for lore or personal reasons, but I can at least accept this theory from a lore perspective.

(Edit: On a different note, I like the idea of treating Ukkomon like Menoa in the way of her being an unreliable narrator that led to the whole "adulthood vs. neglect theory" in the first place. So Ukkomon may actually NOT even be aware that Rui WASN'T the first Chosen Child because, either it really didn't know or was manipulated by Homeostasis to claim that it's true. The reasoning behind that could be interesting to look at too... Long story short: Never take anything in Digimon at face value!!!)

As for the personal things... I saw a comment on Twitter that basically went like "It tells you a lot that I didn't even have to name the 02 kids once in an overall review". Because... Yeah, the 02 kids in particular didn't actually do a lot. They DID build up on the positivity Daisuke had already spread since the end of 02, believing in their bonds and the power of friendship and everything. An interesting aspect was also asking the question of whether or not the Digimon are acting out of free will, or if they do things out of obedience like Rui said, implying that Ukkomon just assumed his desires and completely neglected itself in the process. Hawkmon confirms that he does things because he believes in them - he DOES act very obediently towards Miyako in the movie though. But my personal opinion is that it depends on the partners and the bond they have (compare that to Jyou and Gomamon and you get a very different picture - and even Hawkmon has the ability to scold Miyako, so it really depends).

But aside from that? There wasn't as much, despite a few neat little character moments that people may or may not like, depending on their stance on certain characters (and ships as well).

Daisuke will be Daisuke will be Daisuke. He's the (endearing!) simpleton shoujo magical girl protagonist with a good heart and literally nothing but Ramen on his mind. V-mon is the exact same, they share one braincell in the most endearing way possible, they even finish each other's sentences and didn't doubt their bond for a second. ("You wanna know what friendship is about? THAT is!", V-mon says while just shaking Daisuke's hand. They're adorkable.) The bickering with Miyako is a bit of a theme there - especially in ONE particular scene...

... And that is in a scene involving Ken. For Jogress reasons, obviously, Daisuke and Ken are framed together a lot - and in this moment, Ken compliments Daisuke on being so serious and focused as he affirms his trust in Rui... Only to have Miyako ask them why they're flirting rambling so much, to which Daisuke responds veeeery defensively. (Edit: I just learned that the Japanese version ACTUALLY said "flirting", so that makes it even better, they know exactly what they are doing.) That aside, Ken is rather torn about the whole situation, he occasionally looks very troubled when the subject of partnerships is mentioned - and while they don't draw any Kaiser parallels as I initially assumed, Wormmon at least mentions how he and Ken could put their divide aside through communication. Which was a nice touch. (Also, Wormmon blushing as Ken pets him like a cat in his arms is the cutest thing ever.) And then... There is also that theme about, aside from Daisuke, another person being in his sphere quite a lot...

... And that is Miyako. They have at least three scenes in which, mainly, Miyako is the one reassuring or teasing Ken in ways that CAN be read in a certain light, but they kept it VERY tame. Again, Ken is very often framed between her AND Daisuke (and there is a moment between Ken and Miyako where Daisuke literally walks out of the frame and if that isn't meta, I don't know what is and basically, I feel like they should just have made Daikenyako canon), but... If you know, you just know. Especially with her using somewhat ambiguous sentences like "Well, let's see what the future holds, together". (I already know that a certain artist on Twitter completely exploded over that scene. It was interesting though that she had gone back to "Ichijouji-kun", even though by the end of 02, she had called him "Ken-kun" already.) That aside - she is basically the tech support in this, also there to comment on Daisuke's brashness. (Also, her saying "Goodbye, trusty D3" really got me emotional, that was tough.) And her being tech support in place of Koushirou was important, because...

... It really wouldn't have fit to have Iori do that, in my opinion. Sure, he works with computers too, just like the others do - but the scene in which he types is basically just there, because the computer room they used as shelter is from his previous high school and a superior allowed him to use it, so he simply just opened the live stream of the floating digi egg. That aside, Iori is mainly voice of reason again, nothing too major. His best scene is probably the moment one of Daisuke's snowball hits him in the face - because that's where he gets FURIOUS, it's very nice.

Then there's Takeru - and he was probably my favourite character among the 02 kids in this movie. It was already noticeable in the drama readings during DigiFes, but his main role is to be self-aware and make snide comments about things like "Oh my God, we were fighting in the open, of COURSE the media/military/whoever would see that and find us, what did you expect?!". He does that twice. (Tailmon does it too, which is hilarious. Whereas Patamon is just an innocent bean. "Patamon, you have no idea what I just said, right? "No, Takeru!") He's also driving support, as we already saw in the preview - while Daiken are riding on Imperialdramon, he drives behind them with Hikari, Miyako and Iori in the car as well. I was a bit disappointed to not have him mention his brother when the subject of "losing partnerships" came up, because he was absolutely troubled about the idea of being the cause of +60.00 partnerships disappearing, so Iori had to tell him to be rational and not be selfish...

... On the other hand, Hikari didn't mention Taichi in this regard either. As mentioned previously, I tried to rationalize her comment on "Poor Ukkomon", relating it to her empathetic personality - it DOES makes sense for her to assume that Ukkomon only did what it thought was right, since they didn't communicate properly. She thoroughly trusts in that she and Tailmon would always make their bond work through communication. To be hopeful yet also confident about their bonds. And her reaction towards Rui committing perceived injustice towards Ukkomon makes sense in context of her personality, since she probably still hasn't fully processed her own experiences. It was just jarring that she wasn't able to empathize with Rui on that. Daisuke was more open towards lending Rui a helping hand there. And hey, that is a very Daisuke thing to do - just like he was the first to reach out to Ken (and Wallace too, once he noticed he needed help and support), he was the first to reach out to Rui too. Who may have acted cruelly towards his Digimon (and that is not to be excused), but that was literally the circle of abuse, applying directly what he had adapted from his own mother. Digimon wouldn't be Digimon without trauma after all... That aside, there was not a lot to say about Hikari. She got a shot with Takeru during the snowball fight (as Ken and Miyako did), but that was it.

Long story short - the movie was fine. Visually, animation and colouring were VERY nice to look at, maybe a bit confusing at times, but that's what rewatches are there for. The sound was pretty great, the horror aspects were insane, but very well done in my opinion. The pacing was... Alright, though I'm not sure why several of Rui's leap year birthdays were skipped and that Ukkomon didn't appear in the meantime after 2003, so it begs the question of why exactly the movie took place in 2012 and not before. We also didn't really see a lot of the communication processes between Rui and Ukkomon, it was just claimed that there was miscommunication, but we don't know what else they were talking about for Ukkomon to "misinterpret" Rui's wishes. And that's where it doesn't help that Ukkomon reminds me of Kyubey so much, because its expressions are hard to read too. It's also unclear if there was actually more abuse (verbally or non-verbally) going on in the back - but it's not unlikely that it has taken place after all. So yeah, for the sake of the length of the movie, that was a lot more simplified.

I also don't reeeeeally understand why they showed the full Paildramon evolution twice. (Again, they were self-aware to some degree, because Tailmon stated "Do they really have to draw that much attention to themselves already?")

It's kinda sad that they didn't get any new evolutions. The character beats could have been even stronger, the "friendship talk" is nothing we haven't heard before, so the bonds could have been empathized a little more clearly - but then again, there is only so much you can squeeze into 87 minutes. And you could still feel the sense of togetherness, so that is perfectly fine in the end. The lore aspect is still a little difficult to wrap my head around, but seeing how I've outlined it above, I can make it work. Definitely looking forward to the audio dramas that will drop in the upcoming weeks, because a.) they will apparently contextualize more (especially in regards to Rui and Ukkomon's relationship) and b.) might allow more character beats.

Unfortunately, they may not fix my biggest disappointment with this movie. I had already feared it, but still hoped they wouldn't actually do that...

The older kids got the Tri revenge treatment. Literally. The three-second-glimpse of Koushirou and Taichi is the only life sign we get from the six older kids. Koushirou gets at least mentioned two more times, but that's it. We don't see Yamato, Sora, Mimi and Jyou. Not even during the montages. Not even when all the Digivices disappear and they show all kinds of Chosen Children across the globe. Nothing. We have no idea if Tentomon, Palmon and Gomamon are still there or not. No cameo, nothing. And that really left me with a heartache at the end, because I hoped they may at least use a montage like they did with Kizuna in the credit scene. And now I am left here craving Koushirou fretting over his phones probably also not working anymore, so he has to figure out a solution for that, gaaaaah.

That last part really left a bitter taste in my mouth and kinda soured the experience of the movie, even if the audio drama centering around Takeru and Hikari (!) may also involve Taichi and Yamato, but... It was okay. For the time being, I did enjoy watching the movie and the experience in cinema was just amazing. It was just difficult to digest. Let's see when I'll get to rewatch it. And let's hope that there still will be more content about the entire group - even without them having their Digivices.

[sylvienerevarine]

Sophrine Aulette's Solstheim Encyclopedia

wahoo I'm still not done with this Philomena Cunk-inspired nonsense. I promise most of what I write is slightly less stupid than this.

---

Raven Rock

The small mining town of Raven Rock was founded in 3.E 428 by the East Empire Company, who had called dibs on all the ebony lurking under the ground over there, as the Skaal weren’t using it. The mine was pretty successful for a few years, then shut down, then reopened under the direction of House Redoran, then closed again, then was reopened by me. 

These days Raven Rock is mostly Dunmer, except for one old Imperial fellow who’s married to a priest, and that Orsimer gentleman who’s always bothering people about loans. There aren’t any ravens, if you’re wondering. I asked.

Rieklings

No one’s quite sure what Rieklings are, exactly, but most scholars seem to think they’re a distant cousin of goblins. What we do know is that they’re small, blue, fond of pigs, and usually angry. 

You might think Rieklings are just mindless little beasties, but from my experience, they’re actually quite intelligent. Some of them speak a little Cyrodilic, which is impressive, because it’s a stupid language. They can also read, as evidenced by that copy of The Lusty Argonian Maid I found in one of their dens. Though one has to wonder about their taste in literature.

The Skaal

The Skaal are lovely people who live in a town so remote and small you could wander around in circles looking for it for about three days before Frea finally gets frustrated and comes to find you. That’s never happened to me.

This small Nord community has existed on Solstheim for hundreds, possibly thousands, of years, and has survived largely due to their immense stubbornness. “Sunlight?” they’ll say. “Green grass? Who needs it? All a fellow needs is snow and horker meat.” Bit strange, but it seems to work for them.

The Skaal worship one creator spirit known as the All-Maker, who very kindly invented wolves and bears and fish and turnips. They don’t have any temples; if you want to say a prayer, you just go sit down by a tree and have a good think. Lovely stuff, if you ask me.

Thirsk

Thirsk is a famous mead hall that’s essentially a combination tavern/hotel/fighter’s guild. It was invented by a fellow named Hrothmund the Red, who lived between three and five hundred years ago. Hrothmund left the Skaal village because he was tired of following rules and wanted to drink and fight without getting in trouble, much like every single person in Skyrim does.

The only rules at Thirsk are:

Mind your own business

If you’re going to throw up, do it outside

Don’t make any loud noise before noon

My Nana Sylvie became chieftain of Thirsk for a brief period in the late Third Era, after killing a nasty troll called the Udyrfrykte who’d practically knocked the place down. The current chieftain is a very nice woman named Bujold the Intrepid, who has never had any other nicknames, so don’t ask.

[liauditore]

LIAU MY BELOVED

ask game question

Jimmy x Martyn

:D

romeo asking for mirror birds in MY ask box?!!?!??!?!?! (i know u pref mirror birds but solidwood is too funny im so sorry)

ah yeah. these losers.

see, a lot of my thoughts surrounding these two would kind of spoil my own AU that i never make stuff for so im usually somewhat hesitant to talk about them but basically., (toxic!fh mention)

post-evo divorced property police is so real. ive always imagined it as a childhood friends situation, with martyn being a bit older than jimmy.

they probably caught feelings for eachother fairly late and already well into teenhood but neither of them were really sure what it was (this is maybe going a little bit into sexuality hc territory but ive always imagined jimmy as whatever the male equivalent of a useless lesbian is and martyns biphobic towards himself lmao).

i touched on this briefly in that one fic i wrote but i've always headcanoned martyn as being somewhat parentified and thus ties his worthiness to be loved into his ability to perform acts of service for someone rather than just.. existing and letting himself be loved.

so as jimmy became more independent, martyn becomes a bit more insecure about their friendship. this becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy as he distances himself from jimmy, feeling like jimmy wouldn't love him if he didn't Need him, and jimmy in return feels confused and hurt as he helplessly watches someone he knew all his life drift away.

that + jimmy has this not-so-subtle crush on scott that martyn's always suspected. he's a jealous bitch.

The storm formed after a final sip, my fingertips frozen solid, I pretend that again I can see, you past the rails, ready to meet And I wonder is it too much to ask, to once more, hold you warm in my hands? To accept I can’t forget, and embrace what still fails to fade?

Milk Tea (Oktavia's translyrics) (because I wasn't kidding when I said these two were cheesy yuri to me lmao)

we had a clown to clown communication moment i think cus I also love the idea of them splitting up and meeting in Third Life years and years later (altho i like to imagine it as more of a voluntary separation).

some stuff copy+pasted from that cursed shipping doc i mentioned awhile back: ((scott + jimmy became a thing while martyn was gone pre-3L))

Now reuniting in 3L as fully grown adults after years apart, all those suppressed emotions come bubbling back up to the surface. An adult Martyn is much less unsure about what he's feeling and Jimmy still has those fantasies of what could have been playing on loop in his head. Of course, Jimmy is still attached to Scott and can't abandon his Bethrothed. He loves and knows what's best for him, he would sooner die than forsake his loyalty. But it does hurt when he hits him. Martyn still cares for Jimmy deeply, whether he wants to or not. He takes the time to keep an eye out for him, even though they had no real reason to interact anymore. He becomes one of the only people to realise what Scott was like with him, how devoid of love it all was. He throws out a line, offers to help him run away. Jimmy refuses. Betrayal. A second time. For the same man. Who cares about Jimmy anyway? (he always did take me for granted)

(a little note here before anyone sets me on fire - time works a bit differently in my writing and the players don't have exact ages but jimmy and martyn's age gap is probably not as dramatic as their cc counterparts)

(it's still there but neither of them even recognise their feelings as remotely romantic until they reunite as adults, as kids it's all just them being silly and having grade school drama with each other)

So uh yeah lots of mutual pining and suppressed feelings and puppy love turned angst👍 tis all i shall say cus i wanna make art of the rest lol

Just a second to lessen the ache, or minute to kiss it away I’d give all I have for the chance to go back to youth and you

[karizard-ao3]

My reactions to Evangelion episode 23: Rei III

The really sucky thing about watching after my kid goes to bed is that by then I am wiped out and far less alert so I feel like I can't pay attention as well.

She's listening to the message again 🥲

Poor Shinji doesn't know what to do about his houseful of traumatized women. He's really so timid.

Poor class rep lol

I'm glad she has someone to open up to.

Poor Asuka. She just needs to feel loved the way she is.

That Angel looks like a halo.

Asuka has lost all her confidence.

It got unit 0 right in the gut!

Rei seems to almost be enjoying this.

"The person we call an Angel."

Rei has a very skewed and confused sense of self, and as a result I feel like I also don't know which version of her is the real version during this conversation. To me, it's not as clearly differeniated as when Asuka and Shinji had to confront their own inner demons. I think the bumpy one is the real Rei and the smooth one is the Angel trying to communicate. I'm going to rewind.

That's still what I think.

Poor Asuka. "Why didn't you send unit 1 when I was in trouble?" Well, Asuka, because Gendo is a douchebag. But Shinji did want to save her.

She sucked in the Angel. She's going to sacrifice herself for Shinji. Or is it for Gendo?

That was a very metaphysical explosion with the Eva/Angel hybrid thing turning into a giant Rei and then going up in a pink, sparkly puff (before the real blast).

So there are 17 Angels in the Dead Sea Scrolls.

"Another sacrificial lamb"

Someone who knows the whole truth. Of course it's Ritsuko.

Weird moment between Shinji and Misato.

"Rei. She was the product of my despair. I suppose she's always been a vessel of hope for you."

Are these the same injuries she had when he first saw her? Is this because she's a copy?

"No. I don't remember. It's probably because I am the third one." Well!

I was like, "If she throws out those glasses, I'll know she's a doppelganger" and then she starting squeezing them.

They made Ritsuko strip down.

They need 12 Evas for their plan and think the obliteration of Tokyo-3 will help their plans as well. Maybe I'm just making random associations, but there were 12 disciples. Is that relevant? Idk.

Ritsuko called Shinji and said he can safely go outside.

Misato shows up to threaten Ritsuko into telling her all her secrets and it turns out Shinji is there. Why are you dragging my baby boy into this drama?

Artificial Evolution Laboratory!!!

Okay, I'm not going to comment during this next bit. I want to watch uninterrupted.

Okay, so, first, when Ritsuko was inferred she had a secret love, I was like, "Ew, what if it's Gendo?" but I didn't want to speak it into existence, but it looks like it was. Maybe they weren't having an affair, but I think this confirms she at least has feelings for him. But, Gendo seems to have a thing for screwing lovely lady scientists so that they'll help him with his warped goals, so most likely they were fooling around.

Second, Evas being human is not a surprise. I suspected they were at least part from the moment I saw those fingernails. I knew there was something off about them. So, humans made in Adam's image, which is kind of delicious because the biblical Adam was the first human made in God's image, but in NGE Adam is the god and Evas are made in his image. Kind of feels like making a photocopy of a photocopy. No wonder the Evas are messed up.

Third, I knew something was up with Rei but I did not go so far as to guess she was an Eva! The only Eva with a soul. That tank full of smiling, empty copies that they use for parts to repair her with... chilling. I would not like to be in that room full of Reis. And then to see them all destroyed. When a Rei dies, does her soul go into another one, though?

Also, not totally clear on this, is there a blank Rei in the dummy plug, then?

If Rei is an Eva, is she reading the thoughts of those around her? Is that why she seems to have "synced" with Shinji in a way? Is her apparent issue with multiple personalities simply her vibing with people on a different, more psychic level because she is part Angel?

In Closing

We should be finding out what happened to Shinji's mother when she vanished soon. It's been referred to pretty consistently over the past few episodes and I'm wodnering if that will be the final key to everything. When she disappeared, did her soul go into Rei? Is that how she was the only Eva born with a soul? There's too much evidence that Yui and Rei are linked. And Gendo naming her Rei indicates he must see her as his and Yui's daughter of sorts, which also makes me further believe Yui is in her somehow. Or maybe the Eva merged with Yui and changed her into baby Rei.

The skeletons were an interesting touch. Were they trying to make the Evas big and pilotable at first or did that become necessary due to the need for them to have a soul (even if it's not theirs) physically present inside them to be functional?

Hm. Lots to think about.

Also, with Asuka, I'm not sure if she's going to have a burst of recklessness that endangers her or if she's going to give up completely. She and Shinji are actually a lot alike. They both want to be loved. They just handle it very differently. Asuka wants to force it out of them and Shinji just makes himself available and agreeable to coax them to care about him. It's like when people become low maintenance to their own detriment. Whereas Asuka has elected to become high maintenance, perhaps to make people prove their care for her by doing what she wants them to.

I really hope they get even a few minutes of relief from their suffering before they are unfortunately sacrificed to further whatever Gendo is trying to do or for Seele's goals. One or the other. I'm not expecting any of these kids to survive, quite frankly.

Do you think Ritsuko dyes her hair so she won't look like her mother when she hooks up with Gendo? Like, she doesn't want him to think of her mom who banged him first? Food for thought.

[alianoralacanta]

Coulthard, Sato and Pit Stop Misadventures: Spanish GP (14-05-2007)

Context: The blog plugin for the forum received an upgrade, including shiny new mood and activity indicators! I mostly used it to state what I was reading at the time, because I was and still am a bookworm. (In case you are wondering, my current reading is:

Travel reading: The Time Traveller's Guide to Restoration Britain by Ian Mortimer

Home reading: "No Offence But…" by Gina Martin

e-Reading: A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett

"Light reading": GP Racing, August 2024)

I'd spent most of the weekend trying to persuade my undergraduate dissertation to print off the computer (I'm not sure if my alma mater has an online copy - it probably does - but since I didn't write it under my psuedonym, I hope you will forgive me for not linking to it). Thus, I'd been on an adrenaline high when I finally succeeded. "Most" of the weekend, because I'd also watched the Spanish Grand Prix, where the accidental comedy had leavened things nicely…

Coulthard, Sato and Pit Stop Misadventures: Spanish GP

Sleep

Reading The Age of Spiritual Machines by Ray Kurzweil

No Category

Firstly, I apologise if I doze off in the middle of this entry - I've spent a lot of today convincing an unreliable computer system to print off a 2800-word essay (I managed it and handed it in with one minute to spare - don't ask!)

The "Oh no it's all falling to pieces" feeling must have struck David Coulthard at some point during the race, as his Red Bull once again attempted to thwart his efforts to finish a race for once. I was very impressed by his ability to almost maintain the same speed minus third gear as he had with it - and fifth is a great way to finish the first race his midfield car has finished with him in it.

I particularly loved James Allen's comment just before the gearbox issue manifested himself; "This is the best performance we've seen from David since… [pause] …er, the last time we saw a good performance from him a few weeks ago." This proves three things:

1) Walkerisms still sound funny, even when Murray Walker isn't the one saying them 2) four weeks is too long to wait between races 3) David Coulthard is going through one of the best phases of his career - not that the points scoreboard shows that right now

Speaking of good performances from rarely-rewarded people, Takuma Sato put in a lovely race from 13th to 8th. With all the attention ITV lavished upon Anthony Davidson and Jenson Button, you could have been fooled into thinking the guy who'd outqualified both of them didn't exist.

At least, until Sato took Giancarlo Fisichella's 8th place off him and scored Super Aguri's first point ever. Even I, a Fisi supporter who thought that it was unfair that a malfunctioning pitlane device should have put him in that position, could not begrudge Takuma his just reward for a great drive. It seems that Takuma is currently having more success with his self-orientated team than Jacques Villnueve did at BAR. That is a credit to the staff at Leafield as well as to Takuma.

Returning to the pitlane, I was rather miffed at the stuff that was happening in the pitlane - and not just because the Renault rigs forced both Giancarlo and his team-mate Heikki Kovalainen to switch to the slower three-stop strategy mid-race. No, the incident that really got my blood boiling was Massa's portable barbecue.

It is rare for a fuel hose to do that sort of thing, and it was dangerous for both the Ferrari and the McLaren mechanics (the fire had nearly burnt itself out by the time Felipe went alongside the McLaren staffers, but it could have so easily been a considerable amount worse. Intertechnik are not in my good books right now, and I'm sure they're not in Ferrari or Reanult's good books either.

BMW could not blame Intertechnik for their Carry On moment - they caused that one by themselves. How Nick managed to miss the front-right jack man not raising his hand is a minor mystery (not that it was really his fault, but…). How he got away with getting it around the track minus the front right wheel nut without being a hazard to anyone or damaging his car is a major one. (On the upside, the shot of the Toyota mechanic holding the nut aloft, in his best "Has anyone lost something?" posture, was priceless).

It has to be said though that the Spanish GP has been the most interesting race for me all season. I'm not sure what that says about the three flyaways, except that I am now looking forward to Monaco with renewed vigour.

On the blog front, you may have noticed that I have recently added a menu on the right-hand side of the blog screen. With access to a blogroll and the site policy, it should help make things that little bit more enjoyable. Please tell me if there's any other changes you would like to see.

Oh, and I broke the 2000-visit boundary today. I think my involvement in the wider blogosphere may have a lot to do with it, but I am pleased to see so many enjoy my site. Please come as many times as you like, and I hope you'll be here when I celebrate the next milestone (and for the more serious entries in between).

Wow! I managed to stay awake for all that. I'll just go and have a lie-down now…

La Canta Magnifica Blog - After the very interesting Spanish GP, Alianora La Canta looks at two of the stand out drives of the race (David Coulthard and Takuma Sato), as well as the unintentional action down the pitlane.

[magnhild]

ranking all of the star wars media i've seen so far because i think aside from andor (which i'm not watching til it's finished) i've watched all the (canon) pre-original trilogy content

(copied and pasted from my twitter)

10. solo

i won't say i disliked it but it didn't capture my attention either. it was kind of just there and i zoned out for most of it. i liked the droid but then she died :( i think it absolutely should've been allowed to be a comedy

9. rogue one

kind of the same story as solo; i don't really see why it needed to exist and nothing about it much interested me. i didn't actually like it any more than solo but i think if i flipped the ranking people would get mad at me.

8. the phantom menace

the beginning of my sw journey and yet sadly it did not leave much of an impact on me. the editing was. something. and it felt oddly-paced. sometimes the cgi and practical effects were really cool though (and sometimes they weren't).

7. attack of the clones

honestly this movie kind of felt all over the place? like so much happened but not really in a good way. the editing felt better than the first one though and it had less jar-jar which is always a good thing.

6. revenge of the sith

watching this after the clone wars added a lot more weight behind the events but also made anakin's turn so incredibly jarring. i feel like they really nerfed padme too :/ it's mostly the added context of the clone wars that puts this one above the other two in my eyes, even if it also manages to be a detriment. idk.

5. obi-wan kenobi

i think a lot of people didn't care for this one and i can see why but i thought it was fine. probably did not need to exist but young leia is the cutest little shit and her interactions with obi-wan really made the series for me. glad it was short though.

4. tales of the jedi

yeah i know it JUST came out but i'm putting it here anyway. on the ahsoka side of things i don't personally feel like her episodes added much except for maybe the first one bc i love backstory, but ahsoka is ofc my favourite character so i will never complain about more screentime for her. dooku's stuff was pretty interesting though and i like the context that it adds to his whole deal. i kind of feel we should've gotten it sooner tbh.

3. the clone wars

i think the main thing holding it bad a little for me is its length. i feel like it could've been cut down a fair bit, but for as many boring episodes as it had, there were plenty of great ones as well. i'd say that this is the piece of sw media that does the most for the franchise as a whole. it added SO MUCH context and opened up so many paths for more content. characters actually got to be characters, including the clones, and it makes the third movie hit that much harder. perhaps most importantly of all (this is a joke don't @ me), it gave us ahsoka, who i love very much, and who i find very interesting. i will never get sick of her.

2. the bad batch

though it had plenty of action and drama, the main draw of this show for me is the more lighthearted stuff. omega's addition to the sw cast was a very good decision and i loved every moment we got of her. to see a sw series that put more focus on family was really refreshing for me and i can't wait to see more of it next year. this show was also my first introduction to kanen and hera and goodness i had no idea what i was in for. 

1. rebels

if you've been paying any attention to my twitter at all this past week this should come as no surprise. like the bad batch, if there's one thing i loved most about rebels, it's the found family aspect. i loved seeing the main cast interact and all of their dynamics had a wonderful quality to them that i appreciated. and it gave me back ahsoka! and i love it for that. the entire show had this strong feeling of hope running through it, which of course made the second half of s4 hit all the harder for me. as much as kanan's death and everything surrounding it hurt me, however, i can only commend the series on the impeccable writing that led to that moment. everything was incredibly well-crafted, creating a moment that impacted me more than any other piece of media ever has before. it made me cry at fiction for the first time ever and i love it for that. but i also hate it for that. but i love it for that. i desperately hope that we'll get to see the main character again in the franchise's future, not just because i miss them dearly, but because i feel like none of their stories ar quite finished. i think there's a lot more we could see from them, with my biggest (and probably most unrealistic) hope being for a series focused on hera as she raises her son and works to move on from kanan's death, bc i feel like the series did Not give her enough time to grieve (not that i can blame it, war is busy). 

and there we have it! i don't know if my rankings are very controversial but, as i was saying last night on my twitter, i often enjoy tv shows more than movies, which is why they all ranked above them here. thank u for reading my long post.

[syrenki]

[and if i said i'm actually more for body positivity than neutrality? body positivity, just executed differently than what we've seen? would i be lynched?] my colleagues and i have discussed it and we are sending a paramilitary group to your location right now. If i were you i'd get right with God within the next five minutes.

i've recently been wondering whether such an idea as widespread body neutrality isn't sadly entirely a pipe dream, i've come to the very unsure and unsteady yet conclusion that maybe perhaps people are going to care about being wanted romantically one way or another simply because we are sexually dimorphic creatures and we have such a thing as, yk, sexual reproduction. if we could simply copy ourselves without a partner of course all this wouldn't be an issue but what sense does it make to pretend we can? so i guess in a way it's about survival and the subconscious feeling of safety that is so so deep rooted evolutionally that there is literally no point in trying to change it. people are going to want to feel attractive as long as we are creatures who reproduce, yes even if we personally don't want to reproduce or are literally gay. now of course in modern day society that want to be wanted is very asymmetrical in terms of gender and we need to do something about the disproportion but we can't wipe the want out entirely and maybe it's almost silly to think we can. that doesn't mean that's necessarily a good thing or that it's not a sad thing, just... a real thing? and fighting it seems like as noble yet futile of a task as fighting attraction and sexuality as a whole. plus on a less physical level like... beauty as an idea has to exist and in my personal belief it is ethically good that it exists like in a platonic upper world of ideas sense. far beyond the idea of human attractiveness of course. beauty as a whole. or like, take plotin. you know what i'm getting at? and third of all hm screw you actually, i fucking recovered from a damn near lethal case of anorexia of like 4 or 5 years with no therapy or support whatsoever and you're gonna pseudo jokingly attack me for the vaguest mention of body politics that you don't even know whether you agree with or not because you didn't take the time out of your day to ask what i mean in the first place before disagreeing and haven't given any reasoning for disagreeing like a civilized discussion partner. and maybe you could have convinced me if only you'd been a little less mocking-joking-attacking for an imaginary online audience and more like a human being talking to another equal human being

[sublimeobservationarcade]

Ancient Historian Doubts Evidence For Jesus Christ

Ancient historians like Richard Carrier have cast serious doubt upon the actual historicity of Jesus Christ. There are no indisputable verifiable sources for the existence of Jesus of Nazareth. Ancient historian doubts evidence for Jesus Christ and makes solid case for the alternative. Of course, two millennia of Christianity would and does take exception to any questions about its veracity. Having studied ancient history over many years myself at university I know what Richard Carrier is talking about and the high likelihood that he may be correct in his evaluation of the situation. It is very brave of Carrier to take on the vast levels of vested interests in the whole Christian edifice. Most historians lack the courage to follow such a dangerous and financially unsupported path. Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Slippery Sources Don’t Stand Up To Scrutiny For Ancient Historian

The whole Jesus thing does not make sense when you examine the extent evidence on historical and archaeological grounds. Quite separate from the basic scientific fact that there is no verifiable evidence for the existence of any God, the complete lack of any records pertaining to the life of Jesus of Nazareth is pretty damning. Josephus makes mention of a Jesus: “There was about this time Jesus, a wise man, if it be lawful to call him a man, for he was a doer of wonderful works—a teacher of such men as receive the truth with pleasure. He drew over to him both many of the Jews, and many of the Gentiles. He was Christ; and when Pilate, at the suggestion of the principal men amongst us, had condemned him to the cross, those that loved him at the first did not forsake him, for he appeared to them alive again the third day, as the divine prophets had foretold these and ten thousand other wonderful things concerning him; and the tribe of Christians, so named from him, are not extinct at this day (Antiquities 18:3:3).” - (https://aleteia.org/2019/03/30/josephus-the-first-century-jewish-historian-who-wrote-about-jesus/) This is obviously a fraudulent insertion by a later Christian, as it is completely out of character with everything else Josephus wrote and thought. Unfortunately, this kind of thing just puts the whole Christian thing in a bad light and it is by no means the lone example of such fraudulent behaviour by Christian apologists. “Festus was now dead, and Albinus was but upon the road; so he assembled the Sanhedrin of judges, and brought before them the brother of Jesus, who was called Christ, whose name was James, and some others; and when he had formed an accusation against them as breakers of the law, he delivered them to be stoned (Antiquities 20:9:1).” Basilica Agoniae Domini, Jerusalem, Israel by National Guard of the United States is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0 This next mention of Jesus is accepted by scholars as more in keeping with the authentic nature of Josephus’ chronicles. However, Carrier has his doubts about it. “Among the things we have confirmed now is that all surviving manuscripts of the Antiquities derive from the last manuscript of it produced at the Christian library of Caesarea between 220 and 320 A.D., the same manuscript used and quoted by Eusebius, the first Christian in history to notice either passage being in the Antiquities of Josephus. That means we have no access to any earlier version of the text (we do not know what the text looked like prior to 230 A.D.), and we have access to no version of the text untouched by Eusebius (no other manuscript in any other library ever on earth produced any copies that survive to today). That must be taken into account. The latest research collectively establishes that both references to Jesus were probably added to the manuscripts of Josephus at the Library of Caesarea after their first custodian, Origen—who had no knowledge of either passage—but by the time of their last custodian, Eusebius—who is the first to find them there. The long passage (the Testimonium Flavianum) was almost certainly added deliberately; the later passage about James probably had the phrase “the one called Christ” (just three words in Greek) added to it accidentally, and was not originally about the Christian James, but someone else. On why we should conclude thus I’ll explain shortly. Both these additions may have been made by, or at the direction or under the supervision of, Eusebius…or his predecessor at the library, Origen’s successor, Pamphilus. The possibility that Pamphilus was the culprit has been overlooked by everyone in print so far. I mention it to further inform anyone who would ponder the options here. Evidence establishing Eusebius as the author is stylistic (I’ll summarize that shortly), but as Pamphilus taught Eusebius, it’s possible the stylistic features of Eusebius that are found in the Testimonium are actually the stylistic features of Pamphilus that were picked up by his student. As we don’t have any of the writings of Pamphilus, we can’t check to rule him out on stylistic grounds. (And it’s worth noting, every argument that has been attempted to rule Eusebius out, does not apply to Pamphilus; although I’ve never found those arguments very compelling anyway.) Besides those observations, six things in all have changed since opinions were last declared on this subject: Reliance on the Arabic version of the Testimonium must be discarded. Attempts to invent a pared-down version of what Josephus wrote are untenable. The Testimonium derives from the New Testament. The Testimonium doesn’t match Josephan narrative practice or context. The Testimonium matches Eusebian more than Josephan style. Previous opinions on the James passage were unaware of new findings, and therefore require revision.” - (https://www.richardcarrier.info/archives/12071) Thus, there is considerable doubt about the veracity of what is accorded to Josephus as evidence of the knowledge of the life of Jesus of Nazareth. Geboorte van Christus (ca. 1600–1700) by anonymous. Original from The Rijksmuseum. Digitally enhanced by rawpixel. by Rijksmuseum is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Historicity Of Christ All Hot Air No Real Tangible Evidence

Why are there no primary sources for the existence of Jesus Christ? It is very strange, indeed, if such a man existed. The Gospels are a much later fiction and written by whoever was responsible for furthering this myth or intimately involved in it at any rate. The epistles of Paul were written prior to the Gospels and in them Paul makes no mention of anything that occurs in the Gospels. Carrier points out how strange this is. Surely Paul would have known about these stories if they were true and actually had happened in the life of Jesus Christ? If you logically think about how this kind of thing usually happens and compare it to the mythologising of other iconic individuals like Alexander the Great or more recently Mahatma Gandhi. Followers and disciples recount stories about their master or leader. This does not occur in Paul or anywhere else prior to the creation of the Gospels. Ancient Historians Suetonius To Tacitus “According to Carrier, it is improbable that this passage is about Jesus Christ. His first argument is that Acts does not relate the expulsion of the Jews by Claudius to Christianity and depicts Jews at Rome knowing little about Christianity (Acts 28:17-28). His second argument is that Suetonius writes that the riots were instigated by Chrestus himself, although Jesus cannot have been in Rome in 49 AD. … His arguments are: 1) No other source—even Acts—mentions that the expulsion has to do with Christians. 2) Suetonius knew who Christians are and would not have referred to them as Jews and would not have written “because of the instigator Chrestus” but “because of the Christians”. 3) The text says “Chrestus”, not “Christ”; Chrestus was a common name. 4) Claudius would have expelled the Christians, not the Jews, because the Jews had a protected legal status. 5) The word “instigator” refers to the person who performs the act (i.e., making disturbances) and not to someone who is dead. It remains the simplest explanation, requiring the fewest additional assumptions, that when Suetonius says a man named Chrestus started Jewish riots in Rome, he means a man named Chrestus started Jewish riots in Rome. And it remains an unassailable fact of the Latin language that anyone who continued agitating in his name thereafter would be known as Chrestians. And it remains a material fact that the only manuscript we have of Tacitus describing the Neronian persecution originally referred to Nero’s scapegoats as Jewish agitators called Chrestians (sic). “ - (Richard Carrier, 2020) Ancient historian doubts evidence for Jesus Christ. The common theme running through this whole process is the readiness of too many to accept stuff without proper scrutiny. There is no archaeological evidence for the existence of Jesus of Nazareth. The historical references in ancient sources are all obviously fraudulent or highly questionable. The track record of Christian apologists cooking the books is damning stuff. It does not fill one with beneficent feeling toward their cause. It is difficult to take the high moral ground when your behaviour has been so appalling. Perhaps, it has been a case of too many little white lies producing a veritable industry of fabricated falsehoods over hundreds of years. Telling the truth, therefore, gets much harder with each passing generation. It takes a huge amount of courage to stand against the overwhelming force of the emperor’s new clothes. Calling out such a fiction becomes a massive cultural challenge. If there is a hole at the heart of the Christian story, where the protagonist is supposed to be, what does that tell us about ourselves? Apart from our susceptibility for such tall tales and con jobs on a grand scale. The invention of Gods and saviours is a serious human habit. It repeats itself across cultures and over numerous civilisations. Art Impressed Upon The People The Power Of The Christian Stories In the art world we see the prominent role played by commissioned great works of art. The Sistine Chapel frescoes by Michael Angelo. The countless masterpieces by Raphael and Caravaggio. The list of Christian art is long. These images brought the biblical stories alive in brilliant colour. Many of these art works were commissioned by the Church and displayed within their cathedrals and churches. This prodigious volume of public relations via the visual medium of pictorial and sculptural art was very important in selling the Christian message to the people. Going to church in medieval times was not a voluntary choice but a social requirement. These pictures spoke to a captive audience once a week at least and probably much more. “The lives of the people of the Middle Ages revolved around the Church. People, especially women, were known to attend church three to five times daily for prayer and at least once a week for services, confession, and acts of contrition for repentance.” - (https://human.libretexts.org/Courses/American_River_College/HUM_300_Classical_Humanities_Textbook_(Collom)/13_Middle_Ages/13.08_The_Medieval_Church#:~:text=Thelivesofthepeople,actsofcontritionforrepentance.) Just imagine the impact that these huge paintings and frescoes had on the hearts and minds of the church goers. Many, perhaps, did not understand the Latin within the Bible but the art brought the moralistic stories to life and made them much larger than life. These pictures were the movies of their time. Creating The Christ Story & Christian Religion The story of Jesus Christ and the creation of Christianity was an invention. The makers of it took bits of historical stuff and wove a narrative out of it like a complex rug. Anchoring it with the Jewish Torah, calling it the Old Testament, was important to help establish credibility in the existing religious biosphere. The story of Jesus, ending as it does with his death by crucifixion at age 33 did not provide any role model material for ‘how to live the good life.’ The Gospel messages had to be made up and drawn from other source material. Christianity as a religion was made up on the go, as all religions are. Christian apologists were busy at work from the very outset. Double meanings were another integral element within the Gospels. The blood sacrifice of the saviour was not unique by any means with mystery cults the flavour of the era. Allegorical stories with deeper esoteric meanings for the true believers established the mysteriousness of it for the Christ followers. Miracles are and were always a vital ingredient to impress the hoi poloi. Today, we have Qanon; and the belief in a ‘Q’ Gospel lost, which explains the inconsistencies within the accounts of Mark, Mathew, Luke, and John remains an open sore on the historical score. Conspiracy theories abound throughout the long story of Christianity. Constantine at the Council of Nicaea with his bevy of bishops was instrumental in defining Christianity in its early years. He complained about the endless disagreements between proponents of the new religion. It was a shit fight for sure. Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com There are millions of Christians who know nothing about how their religion got started. They choose not to look too closely into the story. Believers want to believe, irrespective of the truth or veracity of their religion. This is, like Trump voters, a dangerous situation for the rest of us. Once you leave the truth behind it is very easy to do bad things. Of course, many such believers are harmless. Picking and choosing what you believe in without recourse to the facts is, however, a very slippery slope. It makes manipulating these people on the basis of their faith very easy.  Christianity for many is a club with conditional membership predicated on abiding by conservative values. The love of Christ is not available for unrepentant sinners like homosexuals and members of other religions like Islam. In America, Christian nationalism has an angry and aggressive face towards those it condemns. If Jesus had of been a real historical figure I do not believe that he would have found faith with many on the Christian right, around the world. Photo by Abdel Rahman Abu Baker on Pexels.com Stuff that maybe happened two thousand years ago is easily bent into shapes to serve whatever purpose is required. Ancient historians and archaeologists can barely find anything credible upon which to base biblical historicity upon. It is a whole heap of exaggeration and falsehoods feeding a parochial view of things. For a religion which often prides itself on moral absolutes its scribes transgressed every rule when it came to telling the truth. Robert Sudha Hamilton is the author of Money Matters: Navigating Credit, Debt, and Financial Freedom.  ©MidasWord Read the full article

[dprsdprs]

I was listening to Paul Simon’s Hearts and Bones album recently, for the first time in many years – the first time, really, since I was a young teenager. I bought it when it came out in 1983 and listened to it over and over. But hearing it again, and particularly listening to the title track, I was struck by a question: how did I take this back then? What did it mean to me, and why did it mean so much?

So: the title song is a beautifully worn-down response to a relationship at its end, a mix of nostalgic glimpses of happier times and a weary, bruised sense of life in the aftermath of some cathartic break-up. Listening to it as a young teenager, still a virgin and almost wholly inexperienced in such emotions, I wonder if I didn’t think this is how I want to feel. I wanted the happiness, but in a retrospective way (because then it’s done and dusted and safe); and I wanted the melancholy because it just seemed so grown-up and sophisticated and suave. I wanted, as an old joke has it, to skip the marriage and go straight to the divorce. After all – and I am hardly the first person to point this out – there is a complex sort of joy in sadness.

But can this be right? Surely what people want is to be happy. Whole philosophies (I’m looking at you, utilitarianism) rest on the premise that more happiness is always and everywhere a good thing. There is a Global Happiness Index, measuring how happy people are (Denmark tops the league). Bhutan even has a Gross National Happiness Commission, with the power to review government policy decisions and allocate resources.

It’s good to be happy sometimes, of course. Yet the strange truth is that we don’t wish to be happy all the time. If we did, more of us would be happy – it’s not as if we in the affluent West lack tools or means to gratify ourselves. Sometimes we are sad because we have cause, and sometimes we are sad because – consciously or unconsciously – we want to be. Perhaps there’s a sense in which emotional variety is better than monotony, even if the monotone is a happy one. But there’s more to it than that, I think. We value sadness in ways that make happiness look a bit simple-minded. Sadness inspires great art in a way that grinningly eating ice cream in your underpants cannot. In his essay ‘Atrabilious Reflections upon Melancholy’ (1823), Hartley Coleridge (son of Samuel Taylor) praised melancholy as a more refined state of mind than happiness. ‘Melancholy can scarce exist in an undegraded spirit – it cannot exist in a mere animal’ is how he put it:Melancholy is the only Muse. She is Thalia and Melpomene. She inspired Milton and Michael Angelo, and Swift and Hogarth. All men of genius are melancholy – and none more so than those whose genius is comic. Men (those I mean who are not mere animals) may be divided, according to the kind of their melancholy, into three great classes. Those who seek for the infinite, in contradistinction to the finite – those who seek for the infinite in the finite – and those who seek to degrade the finite by a comparison with the infinite. The first class comprehends philosophers and religionists; the second, poets, lovers, conquerors, misers, stockjobbers, & c.; and the third comprises satirists, comedians, jokers of all kinds, man-haters, and womanhaters, Epicures, and bon-vivants in general.Melancholy, Coleridge is arguing, is more dignified than happiness. I suspect this is a sense that most people have – that joy is, at root, a kind of idiot pleasure, the idiom of the lobotomy, a balloon just waiting to be popped. Sorrow is somehow more grown-up, because less illusioned. It feels more sincere, more authentic. As she prepared to write Adam Bede (1859), George Eliot copied the following from Thomas Carlyle’s Life of Oliver Cromwell into her notebook: ‘The quantity of sorrow he has, does it not mean withal the quantity of sympathy he has, the quantity of faculty and victory he shall yet have? Our sorrow is the inverted image of our nobleness.’Because it has some of the colouring of nobility, sadness is also, perhaps, more beautiful than happiness. Philip Larkin’s ‘Money’ (1973) ends:I listen to money singing. It’s like looking down From long French windows at a provincial town, The slums, the canal, the churches ornate and mad In the evening sun. It is intensely sad.It Is Intensely Sad would be a pretty good title for a study of Larkin’s verse as a whole. Of course, one reaction to this poem would be to say: ‘Wait just a minute, Phil: you don’t actually mean “it is intensely sad”. You mean “I am intensely sad”. The street, the church, the whole provincial town is doing just fine, thank you, and has no responsibility for your mournfulness, looking down from your long French windows.’ Such a reaction would not diminish Larkin’s achievement, either, for this is indeed the whole point of his poetry: to write, not about the slums, the canal or the church, but about the elegance of melancholy.Why on earth should melancholy be elegant – or attractive in any other way? On the face of it, it ought to be precisely the sort of thing that evolution breeds out of the race, a prime target for sexual deselection. What female would want to mate with a miserable partner when she could have a happy, smiling one instead? Put like that, of course, the question looks a little ridiculous; as if we’d really prefer to pair off with SpongeBob SquarePants instead of Morrissey. But why? Why would you rather spend time with the latter than the former?If depression is a foul miasma wreathing the brain, elegant sadness is more like a peacock’s tail, coloured in blue-gentian and rich marine greensIt was Charles Darwin, in The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (1872), who noted that sadness manifested the same way in all cultures. For something so ubiquitous, it is tempting to venture an evolutionary explanation. Alas, the anthropological and evolutionary work in this area has focused almost entirely upon depression, which is not quite what we are talking about here. I can tell you with rather grim authority that the difference between elegant ennui and the black dog is like the difference between pleasant intoxication and typhus. Many evolutionary theories have been proposed for depression’s adaptive value, but no one has, so far as I am aware, tried to claim that it is enjoyable.If depression is a foul miasma wreathing the brain, elegant sadness is more like a peacock’s tail, coloured in blue-gentian and rich marine greens. Is it also universal? To this question, anthropology offers no definitive answer. Yet the condition certainly manifests itself in a suggestive array of cultures. It is the sadness to which the Japanese phrase mono no aware gestures (物の哀れ, literally ‘the beautiful sorrow of things’). It is the haunted simplicity of those musical traditions that spread from Africa into the New World as the Blues. It’s the mixture of strength, energy, pity and melancholy that Claude Lévi-Strauss found in Brazil, encapsulated in the title of his book about his travels there Tristes Tropiques (1955). It’s the insight of Vergil’s Aeneas, as he looks back over his troubled life and forward to troubles yet to some: sunt lacrimae rerum; there are tears in everything, said not mournfully nor hopelessly but as a paradoxical statement about the beauty of the world (Aeneid 1:462).It would be possible, of course, to construct a ‘cost benefit analysis’ of the sorts of sadness I am describing here. We might suggest that it is a signal that the individual in question has the strength, leisure and sensitivity to indulge in being sad. Saying so invokes what evolutionary scientists call ‘the handicap principle’, a hypothesis first framed by the Israeli evolutionary biologist Amotz Zahavi in 1975. The idea is that extravagant traits such as the highland deer’s massive antlers or the peacock’s tail are useful because they are so ostentatiously expensive, manifestly inconveniencing the owner. They are a way of saying: I’m so strong, my genes are so desirable, that I can afford to schlep about with this manifest – and, by the way, beautiful – disadvantage attached to my body.Sadness, according to this model, is a kind of conspicuous consumption. It takes more muscles to frown than smile, and maybe that’s the point. It signals ones capacity to squander a resource precisely by squandering it. Any fool can live and be happy. It takes greater strength to live and be sad.All the same, this analysis loses the most important aspect of this emotion; not that it costs, but that it is beautiful. Happy can be pretty, but some species of sad have access to beauties that happy can never know.

[fanmoose12]

Partners

Characters: Petra Ral, Levi, Hanji Zoe x Levi Genre: Action / Mystery / Romance Rating: T

Detective!au

Summary: when Petra was promoted to a detective and partnered up with legendary Levi Ackerman, she felt like the happiest person in the world.

But, as she soon found out, detective Ackerman she used to admire so much was actually a far cry from the ideal policeman Petra thought he was. He was rude, harsh and easily annoyed. And, in addition, he still hadn’t moved on from the death of his previous partner - detective Hange Zoe.

Chapter 4/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Сhapter 3

Petra was standing in front of a coffee machine, trying to choose between latte and cappuccino. She almost pressed on a button with latte written on it, when a hand, which fell heavily on her shoulder, stopped her.

"Goodness, don't even think of buying coffee there!"

Startled, Petra whirled around. She gasped as she saw Captain Erwin standing in front of her.

"Am I... not allowed to buy coffee here?"

Was there some unspoken rule that newly promoted detectives couldn't take coffee from the precinct's coffee machine? Was she overstepping some line?

For a second, Captain Erwin's eyebrows drew together in confusion. But then his lips curved into a smile, as he let out a soft chuckle.

"Oh no, no, of course, you're allowed to order coffee there," he assured her. "But you really shouldn't. In Levi's words," he scowled, trying to mimic Levi's annoyed expression. Petra couldn't resist a giggle - Captain Erwin's impression was spot on. "It tastes worse than horse's piss."

Petra covered her mouth with two hands, stifling her laughter.

Captain raised his arms in a placating gesture. "His words, not mine. But it's truly awful. C'mon," he turned around and started walking, beckoning Petra to do the same. "I'll make you a better one."

***

As Captain was busy with preparing coffee, Petra couldn’t help, but look around his office. The office wasn’t big or spacious, but it was brightly lit and tidy. There wasn’t much inside, only a bookshelf, filled with case files and diplomas, a small leather coach and simple wooden desk. The desk, for some reason, attracted the most of Petra’s attention. It didn’t look different from her own, the same computer model, the same table lamp, however… there was a photo frame standing beside computer screen. She couldn’t see, who was pictured there, but she found it curious and a little strange nevertheless. She would have never guessed that Captain had a family. He didn’t seem the type.  

"Here you go," Erwin placed a cup in front of Petra. She took it with two hands, lifting it up and inhaling a deep, bitter aroma. It smelled perfect. She brought it to her lips, taking a first sip. Oh. Not only it smelled perfect, it tasted perfect too. She couldn't keep in a small moan of satisfaction that escaped her lips, as the hot liquid made its way down her throat.

Erwin watched her with amused eyes.  

"Thank you," Petra smiled sheepishly, blushing slightly, as she put the cup down. "It's the best coffee I've had in weeks."

"My pleasure," Erwin smiled back, drinking from his own cup.

Petra fidgeted. Captain’s expression was relaxed, but those bright blue eyes were so intense, she felt like he was staring into her soul. Why did he even call her there? Surely not just for coffee.

"C-captain?" Petra gripped the cup in her hands tighter. "Did you invite me there for any particular reason?"

"I wanted you to enjoy a nice cup of coffee," Erwin put the cup down and rested his chin on top of his hands. His eyes stared at her, following the smallest of her moves. "And to talk with you. How is the case going?"

"Um..." Petra swallowed, feeling uneasy. "It's, um, going."

Erwin slightly raised his eyebrow, but didn't push the matter further.

“Levi asked for a day-off tomorrow,” he said. “Would you be able to hold on without him? I know you’ve just been promoted a—”

“No, it’s fine!” Petra assured him eagerly. Of course, the prospect of surviving the shift without her more experienced partner was a more than a little worrying. But after what she had seen today in the interrogation room, maybe, it was for the best if Levi spent some time at home.

"Speaking of Levi,” Erwin began. “Does he give you any trouble?"

"Of course, not!" Petra exclaimed with way too much vigor.

Erwin smirked, raising an eyebrow higher. "Is that really so?"

Petra deflated, casting her eyes down. "Detective Levi is a great professional and I—"

"Petra," Erwin cut her off. "Levi won't get in trouble with me, don't worry. I'm asking as his friend, not as his superior."

"As his friend..." Petra whispered.

"Yes," Erwin nodded. "So if there's something I should know, please tell me. God knows, Levi would never tell me if something bothered him."

"I..." Petra nervously tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I think you should take him off this case. It's clearly too personal for Levi."

"Hm, maybe, you're right," Erwin scratched his chin. "I knew that appointing him to this case would cause some problems..."

"Then why did you? Give him this case?"

Erwin shrugged. "I wanted to see his reaction. To see if he had truly moved on from Hange's death."

That was... that was heartless. But as she stared at Captain's face, she didn't see the cold calculation or simple indifference in his eyes. Only uncertainty and worry. Maybe, it was his weird way of caring about his friend.

"You knew from the beginning, right?" she asked quietly. "That this case would involve detective Zoe?"

"I had a feeling," Erwin agreed. "The murder happened in the same apartment complex she used to live in, after all. Hardly could be a coincidence."

Right... so that's why the witness had recognized Levi. Did he really share an apartment with his partner?

"Forgive my bluntness...” she cleared her throat, gathering all of her courage to maintain a direct eye contact with Captain. “But what was the nature of Levi and detective Zoe's relationship?"

"They were partners," Erwin answered, his jaw set. "In every possible sense of that word.”

“Oh,” if before Petra’s cheeks were rosy, now they turned almost crimson read. She felt stupid for asking such a personal question. Clearly, her partner wasn’t the only one, who was still affected by detective Zoe’s death. “I shouldn’t have asked, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s nothing,” Erwin waved her off. “Levi isn’t the most open of people, so I understand the desire to… get to know him better.”

Petra nodded, although Captain’s words didn’t really help her understand anything. It also didn’t really make Levi’s story any clearer. She still couldn’t piece together what kind of bound existed between Levi and detective Zoe. They clearly were much more than just colleagues. Definitely more than just friends, too. Maybe, they were dating? Or even married? There were many ways in which the world ‘partner’ could be interpreted. Maybe, that’s exactly why Captain Erwin used it.

"By the way, did you finish questioning the witness?" Erwin asked, bringing her back to the present.

"We did," Petra replied, avoiding his gaze. The recent incident in the interrogation room still hung heavily over her head.

"I assume it didn't go that well," Erwin noted.

Petra sighed. "The man that the witness described.... Didn't fit the description of Zeke Yeager."

Erwin covered his eyes with a hand. "So he really is pursuing that theory..." he glanced up at Petra. "What was the description given to you by the witness?"

"Um, according to him, the killer is a tall man with brown and curly hair."

"And what makes you think he described a killer?"

"Huh?"

Erwin straightened out. "Are you absolutely sure that the man that the witness saw was a killer?"

"He went with the victim to her apartment..."

"But we can't know for sure if he was the one to kill her," Erwin said resolutely. "Did the witness say how that man left the building?"

"He finished his shift earlier," Petra answered, feeling more and more confused with each passing moment. “Do you think that someone else killed her?”

“I’m not stating anything,” Erwin replied, evasive as always. “I’m just saying that you can’t be too sure in any of your theories until you actually get some evidence. It narrows your scope.”

“A-aha,” now Petra got it. “Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains must be the truth and all that, right?”

“Yes,” Erwin smiled widely. “Remember these words and you’ll do great at your job.”

“Thank you for the advice,” Petra smiled briefly, before furrowing her eyebrows. Something in Erwin’s words bothered her. Could it be that…

“Captain, do you… do you also think that it was Zeke Yeager, who killed that woman?”

Erwin didn’t answer immediately.

“I know it seems weird for you,” he began with self-deprecating smile. “And I know that Levi may seem like he’s obsessed with catching Zeke, and, maybe, he really is, but… You didn’t know Zeke. He was smart. Very smart. And he liked playing with people. I’m not saying that he’s alive, I’ve seen evidence that very much proved the opposite, but the fact that he’s somewhat involved in that murder is certain. The glasses belonged to Hange, and the blood was hers too. Who else could have gotten it? It’s either one of Zeke’s henchmen, maybe, someone, who seeks revenge for his death, or…” he trailed off, shrugging.

“But the description didn’t match!” Petra tried to argue.

“Wigs exist,” Erwin said simply.

Petra hanged her head. She wanted to protest, wanted to come up with some argument that would destroy this whole outlandish theory. Unfortunately, if Levi and Erwin kept overlooking one small fact that Zeke had died two years ago, she doubted there was anything that would be able to dissuade them.

“Oh, shoot!” Erwin suddenly exclaimed, glancing at his wrist watch. “I’m almost late to a very important meeting!” he got to his feet, gathering the papers on his desk. “Thank you for the company, Petra.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” she smiled prettily, even though her head was still reeling from their conversation.

“Good luck with your case,” Erwin said, as he followed Petra out of his office. “And look over Levi for me, okay? If anything happens, you know where to find me.”

He gave her one last smile and then hurried away. Petra stared at his wide back for a second, and then she pulled herself together, turning around and heading towards her office.

It was about time she got some actual work done.

***

To her surprise, when Petra had entered their office, it turned out that Levi wasn't there. She glanced to the side, his coat wasn't hanging on the clothes rack. However... his computer was on, the screen burning brightly in the otherwise dark room.

Petra couldn't take her eyes off that computer. She remembered her first day at work (it seemed almost surreal that it was only yesterday, it felt like weeks has passed) and how Levi was so focused on his computer, as though whatever was on his screen was the most important thing in the world. She remembered her desire to find out what was he working on.

She stepped further into the room, wondering where Levi was right now. He promised Moblit he'd visit the forensics department, maybe, he was there? But why would he need his coat for? And why didn't he turn off his computer?

Petra took another step, her eyes darting to the desk next to Levi's. Detective Zoe's desk. It was a little different than yesterday.

There was... There was a pair of glasses lying atop one of the reports. The same glasses they found on the scene of crime, Petra realized, as she saw a crack running through the left lens. But the blood was gone. Whoever cleaned them, did a real good job. Petra had a feeling she knew one particular person, who liked keeping things clean and tidy.

She felt a lump form inside her throat. Two years had passed, and Levi still didn't give up on her, hoping that one day she would come back. Petra couldn't decide if she should admire his loyalty or pity his naivety.

Either way, she hurriedly turned away from that desk. It made her feel melancholic and more than a little depressed.

If the glasses were there, it meant that Levi had already visited Moblit and his team. Where was he now? How much time did she have?

Glancing back, as if to check that Levi wasn't coming back this instant, Petra took a deep breath. And then she swiftly sat down at his desk.

Moving the cursor, she studied his desktop. There wasn’t much on it, just a few folders. She ignored the ones with the obvious contents – the ones named ‘cases’ and ‘reports’. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she saw the folder with a name ‘that fucking asshole’, she almost clicked on it, but then she saw another folder. This one was named ‘Sannes’, and Petra’s breath hitched, as she remembered Levi asking her about him. Could it be… could it be that this folder contained some evidence? The one that could back up Levi’s claim about Sannes’ involvement with criminal underworld? Feeling her pulse fasten, Petra opened the folder.

Well, she tried to open it, because as soon as she clicked on the folder, a new tab opened, requesting a password.

She cursed.

Petra tipped her head back, thinking. What could a man like Levi use as his password?

She typed four zeros and then pressed enter.

‘The password is incorrect. Please try again.’

Of course, it was too naïve to hope that Levi would use something as generic as this. But Petra wasn’t going to give up so soon. She opened the first drawer of his desk, trying to find something that would give her some sort of idea. Petra grinned as she found the old driver license. It was expired, but in the corner Levi’s birth date was written.

Bingo.

She quickly wrote the numbers and pressed enter, her hands slightly trembling in anticipation of seeing what was inside that folder.

‘The password is incorrect. Please try again.’

Shit. Closing the first drawer, she opened the second. She rummaged through it for a couple of moments, but found nothing, except old autopsy and ballistic reports. Petra groaned – she was starting to get desperate. She closed the second drawer with more force than was necessary, opening the third one. The last one.

It was empty, except— Except an old, tattered photo. Three people were pictured there – Petra immediately recognized Captain Erwin and Levi, even though they looked much younger. A bespectacled woman stood between them, her hands wrapped around both of their shoulders. It must be detective Zoe, Petra guessed, looking at the woman’s wide grin. Detective Zoe wasn’t the only one smiling – there was a delighted beam on Captain Erwin’s lips as well, and even Levi, as weird as it looked, was wearing a small, but satisfied smile.

They looked so joyous here, so… so happy. And now one of them was dead, and two others suffered heavily because of that loss.

She turned the photo around. There was something written on the other side.

The only time, when your face didn’t look so constipated, shorty! Keep it as a reminder

“Shorty?” Petra gasped, rereading the small note again. She would never dare to call Levi like that. Most people probably wouldn’t. Hange Zoe was clearly an exception. And it was obvious that Levi took her advice of keeping the photo to heart, the picture looked worn out, as though it was frequently held and looked at.

Shaking head, she tried to regain her focus. She didn’t come here to go through Levi’s stuff. Well, technically, that was exactly what she was doing right now, but she really didn’t mean to pry into his personal life. She did it more than enough today. She needed to guess his password, and, unfortunately, that photo didn’t help her in the least.

But what if…

Biting her lip, Petra bent over the keyboard. She almost finished typing ‘HangeZoe’, when the door handle began to rattle.

Petra jumped in her seat, frantically closing the password window on the screen and hiding the photo back inside the drawer. She wasn’t quick enough to get to her feet, though, the door began to open, as Petra erratically tried to think of some excuse to explain, what she was doing behind Levi’s desk, but nothing was good enough. She could quite clearly picture his furious expression, she already wanted to start apologizing, but then the door was opened completely.

And Petra saw Oluo, standing on the threshold.

“Goddamn it!” she cried out, heart still thumping way too loudly inside her chest. “You scared the shit out of me!”

Oluo frowned. “I have never heard you curse before. And, by the way, isn’t that detective Ackerman’s desk?”

“What are you doing here?” she asked instead, ignoring his last question.

Oluo rolled his eyes arrogantly, all signs of his previous suspicion gone. Petra felt warmth spread through her chest at the sight of his annoying face. Never would she guess, but she missed Oluo terribly.

“Someone wants to see you,” he replied, leaning against the wall. “So finish whatever you were doing at detective Ackerman’s desk and let’s go.”

“Someone?” Petra blinked in surprise. “Who?”

“Djel Sannes,” Oluo told her with puffed out chest. He was clearly proud to receive a command from such important man. “Deputy police chief.”

The folder at Levi’s computer immediately appeared in Petra’s mind. She couldn’t open it and see, what his partner found so suspicious about that man. But, maybe, she could investigate it herself.

She got to her feet, adjusting her blouse and skirt.

“Let’s go then,” she joined Oluo at the doorstep. “Can’t make him wait, right?”

 ***

As they were walking through the precinct’s corridors, Oluo didn’t take his eyes off her even for a second.

“Do I have something on my face?” Petra snapped, feeling uneasy under his gaze.

Oluo hurriedly looked away, his cheeks reddening ever so slightly. “No, of course, you don’t.”

“Then what’s the matter? You’ve been staring at me like I’ve grown a second head or something.”

“You look just fine,” Oluo huffed, still refusing to meet her eyes. “It’s just… you’ve changed.”

“Changed?” Petra let out a surprised chuckle. “People don’t change over a day, dummy.”

“Maybe, change isn’t the right word then, but…” he scowled, annoyed with his inability to express himself clearly. “You carry yourself with more confidence now and at the same time… you look more troubled than I’ve ever seen you.”

Well, she wasn’t sure about her newfound confidence, she felt nothing of the sort, but troubled? That was a vast understatement.

“A lot of stuff happened over these two days.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Oluo’s soft voice caught her off-guard. Petra glanced at him. Oluo was looking back. There was no amusement in his eyes, and his usual smirk was absent as well. He genuinely wanted to help her, Petra realized with a start.

“Yes,” she answered him after a moment, “I would love to talk about it,” she paused, staring straight in Oluo’s eyes. “With you.”

“Oh,” Oluo stopped abruptly, nearly colliding with someone. Petra giggled into her palm. He looked so flabbergasted. To Oluo’s credit, however, it took him only a few seconds to regain his posture. “I k-know a place!” he exclaimed loudly. “I found a new restaurant near the precinct, the food is delicious and it’s really nice p—”

“Alright,” Petra cut him off, still chuckling. “Let’s visit it tomorrow evening. If that works for you?”

“O-of course!”

“Great,” she patted his shoulder, before leaning in to press her lips to his cheek. “Then it’s a date,” she whispered into Oluo’s ear, before walking away, leaving him to stare after her with a dazed smile on his face.

Petra turned the corner and there it was. The door to Djel Sannes’ office. It looked the same as all doors in precinct looked – a sturdy, wooden door. Nothing unusual about it, and yet— and yet Petra’s palms were sweaty. Her heart was beating faster than usual too. Logically, she knew there was nothing to be afraid of, it was just a visit to her superior’s office. She talked with Captain Erwin earlier, and it wasn’t nerve-wracking at all. She would even call it pleasant. And she wasn’t even sure, if there was something wrong with deputy police chief, she had never met him after all. The only thing she knew is that Levi didn’t trust him, but Levi also believed that people, who had died two years ago in the explosion, were alive. His opinion clearly wasn’t the most reliable.

She just needed to get a grip on herself. What had Oluo said to her? She carried herself with more confidence? Well, maybe, the time has come to prove it.

Petra took a deep, calming breath and raised her hand, knocking on the door.

“Come in!” came a deep, booming voice from the other side of the door.

Petra took another breath, and then. She walked in.  

***

Deputy police chief’s office, as it turned out, wasn’t much different from Captain Erwin’s. It was a little bigger and his desk was a little fancier, but otherwise it was the same type of office every high-ranked policemen had.

Djel Sannes himself didn’t look as scary as Petra imagined. He looked kind of plain, actually. He was a middle aged man with wide shoulders, neat haircut and clean-shaved face. There were more than a hundred men like him in their precinct.

Petra’s heart rate slowed down a little.

“Detective Ral!” Sannes spread his hands in a welcoming gesture. “I was waiting for you!”

Petra put on a polite smile, sitting down on the opposite side of his desk. “It is an honor, sir. Do you wish to discuss something?”

“Just welcome you on your new position. You’ve been a detective for…”

“Two days,” Petra answered.

“Exactly!” Sannes snapped his fingers. “And we’re seeing each other only now,” he cocked his head to the side, looking at Petra. His expression was still easy, friendly, but his eyes became sharper. Colder. “You’ve been busy, I’ve heard.”

“We were appointed a new case tonight,” Petra nodded, pointedly ignoring the sudden change in Sannes. It was probably her nerves getting to her.

“Yes, a woman was murdered. Do you have any clue who had done it?”

“We are working on it.” Petra said with much more confidence than she actually felt.

“Good, good,” her false bravado had either gone unnoticed by Sannes, or he simply didn’t care enough to call her out on it. “And what about your partner? Detective Ackerman?”

“Um… what about him?”

“I know that man,” Sannes said offhandedly. “To put it mildly… he’s not the easiest person to deal with. Is he bothering you? If he is, don’t hesitate to tell me, I’ll appoint a new partner for you.”

“No, no,” Petra waved her hands. “Detective Ackerman is a very skilled detective. I like working with him.”

Sannes gave her a very skeptic look. “Is that really so? I find it hard to believe, actually.”

He reached over to the drawer, opening it and taking out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply and sitting back in a chair.

“Do you smoke?” he asked Petra, offering her a cigarette.

She silently shook her head. Smoking inside the precinct was prohibited. But obviously Petra decided not to say it out loud.

“I should have fired that man a long time ago,” Sannes took another drag. “I would have done it, if Smith wasn’t so overprotective of him. He always had a soft spot for Ackerman. For him and that partner of his. Surely you’ve heard about her already?” he glanced at Petra, shaking out the ash into the ashtray. “Detective Hange Zoe,” the distain in his voice was so clear, Petra felt uncomfortable. “Between you and me, that woman got what she deserved. She was hot-headed and reckless, and in the end, that’s exactly what had gotten her killed.”

Petra wondered if Sannes had ever shared his thoughts on the matter with Levi. Sannes’ nose didn’t look like it was ever broken and Levi still worked as a detective, so she guessed they never had that particular conversation.

“But you’re not like them,” Sannes said. “You’re not a scheming bastard like Smith, you don’t put your nose where it doesn’t belong to like that Zoe did, and obviously you’re not a psychopath like Ackerman. I like you, Ral,” he grinned approvingly. “We should work together.”

“T-together?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “You help me and I help you.”

Petra honestly couldn’t believe her ears. So Levi was right after all. Although, she still had not even a hint of his connection to criminals, there was no doubt that Djel Sannes, deputy police chief, was a corrupt and malicious man. And it meant that Petra had to choose her words very, very carefully. She couldn’t let him know that she wasn’t on his side.

“And… what do you need my help with, sir?”

“Oh, not much,” Sannes put out his cigarette, the smug smile still present on his face. “Just keep an eye on your partner. If he does something suspicious… well,” he let out a small chuckle. “You know where to find me.”

“That I do,” Petra nodded with a smile she put on to mask her disgust. “Is that everything you’ve wanted to talk about?”

“Yes, that’s all,” he waved his hand carelessly. “You may go, but,” he gave Petra another careful look. “I’ll be expecting to hear from you, Ral.”

“Of course, sir,” she raised to her feet. “I’ll try not to disappoint.”

It was only when Petra was inside her office that she could finally breathe out in relief. With each passing hour, her life was getting more and more complicated. She would never expect deputy police chief to ask her to spy on her partner.

Speaking of which… where was Levi? She hadn’t seen him all day.

Petra’s eyes darted to his computer, but she quickly changed her mind. She had more than enough revelations for one day. She was tired to the bone, too. She glanced at the clock – it was already past six, which meant her shift was finally over.

Grabbing her bag and coat, Petra hurriedly left the precinct. She had a crazy day.

And something told her – tomorrow would be no better.

[obeythebutler]

How about a mc that has a multiple ability. But they only use to just shower the boys in praise and affection.

BROTHERS REACT TO A MC THAT USES THEIR MULTIPLY ABILITY TO SHOWER THEM IN AFFECTION AND PRAISE.

I hope you like these!!

LUCIFER

Lucifer was in his study, stuck amongst piles of paperwork, and MC came with a cup of tea in hand and a basket of Princess's poison apples in the other.

Lucifer appreciates the gesture, and expresses his gratitude by pressing a kiss to their forehead.But their moment is interrupted by Mammon shouting for them to come for a moment, and he groans.One moment, one damn moment with MC alone is all he wants, is that too much to ask?!

But then MC snaps their fingers, and a clone appears, who goes to Mammon while the real MC stays and hugs Lucifer.

This multiply ability is very, very useful when seven demons are battling for your attention and affection.

"You work so hard, Lucifer.Come on, you're tired, I'll wake you up in a while." He blushes but does as he is told, after ensuring he leaves them equally flustered.

Every day, MC comes in his room at the same time with a cup of tea and the other copy holding a basket of poison apples.One copy arranges the paperwork on his desk while the real MC kisses and showers affection upon him, not that he's complaining....

MAMMON

MC has a multiply ability?.....this can come in pretty handy!

Mammon was hell-bent on making MC go with him on his money-making schemes and witch summons.Why? Pickpocket one while a copy of MC distracts them, and after all is done,run, and confuse the poor person whose wallet is missing.

MC gave him a stern look but entertained his request...

But most of their time is spent coddling Mammon.A snap of the fingers, and copies appear out of thin air!

One MC kisses his head and showers him in praise while the other cleans his room.And if he is getting berated by his brothers...you bet MC will make many copies of themselves and make a protective barrier around Mammon..dare anyone come forward....

Ugh, Mammon is in love even more!

LEVIATHAN

Multiply ability.....WOAHHH..just like that anime where the protagonist can make several copies of themselves and helps solve murder cases with their ability!

Do your copies need to eat and drink too? Are they a fragment of your own existence? Do they have souls- calm down, Leviathan.

One time when MC and him were playing a game they shifted closer to Levi, who immediately winced and moved away from them.When asked why, he mentioned that he wasn't someone they should spend time with, that he was a yucky-

He is silenced by a hand on their mouth.A snap of the fingers, and a copy appears.One copy now always stays with Leviathan and whenever he says something deprecating, MC's copy will now shout words of encouragement and love, and shower him in affection.

Leviathan says he doesn't care...but the blush says otherwise...

SATAN

He's in awe of their ability, and asks questions a lot, although being more discreet.Various theories and uses start brewing in his mind.But the most tempting? Pranking Lucifer.

MC indulges in their ability once or twice.But their main use? Suffocating Satan in cats and cuddles.

If he is angry, all MC does is snap her fingers, and doubles appear,which are sent to procure cats around the Devildom.While MC themselves plants catnip in the garden.

Satan's room is filled with cats, and his anger is immediately quietned on seeing the adorable little feline.But he has one regret....he can't pet all the cats at once!

One MC will be reading a book to him, while the other plays with his hair, and a third feeds him fruits.

Satan needs doubles of himself to shower MC in the same affection that they do to him..

ASMODEUS

Copies, you say?

It becomes hard to figure out who the real MC is at times.One MC is walking in the hallway, while the other is with him, and a third in the kitchen!

Asmodeus started wondering how to take MC along for modelling and photoshoots...

MC uses their ability to shower Asmo in love and affection.Skincare routine? MC got you.Need to brush your hair and moisture at the same time? MC got ya.Cuddles? Two MC's at once.

Bath? At least 3 MC's are there.More, the merrier.One shampoos his hair while the other kisses him, it's bliss.And one assures him with love when he feels down.

Asmodeus may or may not have wanted to use their ability in the bedroom too....

BEELZEBUB

Woah, that is pretty cool

It's hard to decipher the real MC sometimes.He gave MC a kiss once and then MC came demanding a kiss from him, saying that the copy got a kiss:(

MC and him end up in a big cuddle pile.MC on his shoulder, MC on his stomach and a MC sleeping on his leg.

Also, so many kisses.So many cuddles.Beelzbub is thriving.

If he has a Fangol match you bet MC will make several copies so that they can cheer the loudest from the bleachers.It fills Beel's heart with love.

More hands mean more food! One MC will be making the stew while the other makes a salad.Hungry? Here ya go, a hellhog sandwich? Cuddle? MC, glomp.Kiss? MC's, get to work!

BELPHEGOR

There's two of you?...

Belphegor is jealous that one copy goes to RAD while the other sleeps at home.That is why he will drag the real MC along,with the lines of 'if I suffer,you suffer.'

But MC make several copies of themselves and they cuddle together.One hand will be stroking his hair while the other cuddles him.Its heaven.

Their ability comes in handy while pranking Lucifer.That is why Lucifer feels a chill run down his spine when he hears snapping of fingers....

Belphegor is thriving on all the love and affection he gets.

BONUS:

MC and their copies were caught grooming Cerebrus in the underground labyrinth.One copy brushed his paws while the others pet him..

[mickey-henry]

𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐈 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝

pairing: bucky barnes (bookstore au) x reader

summary: eager to escape the heat, you find yourself in the presence of a mesmerizing bookstore and an irresistibly beautiful man.

word count: 2.3K

author’s note: hello! welcome to my third fic😊 I’m eager to share this with you all! I now have a taglist (the link is also in my bio) if you’re interested🥰 thank you to @certainaesthetic​ for helping me workshop this idea, @fuckandfluff​ for the grammar help, and @midnightf​ for hyping me up as I wrote it! likes, reblogs, messages, replies, and comments are cherished! the header images are from pinterest and the divider is from here. I hope you like it! 💖

You’re desperate to escape the smoldering heat. It’s too hot to rest in the car; it’s been baking all day beneath the sweltering summer sun, parked just outside your place of work. If you attempt to sit in it now, you’d only be greeted with a wave of torrid air, stung with the touch of your seatbelt, and burnt from the searing leather of your steering wheel.

You’re off from work earlier than usual—the blinding sun is usually long beneath the horizon before you head home for the day. The pathetically small sun visor does nothing to shade your eyes from the blazing sunlight. Rather than driving half-blind, you decide to wait out the setting sun.

As you ponder how to spend the rest of your afternoon, you realize that now is an opportune time to visit the new bookstore, The Book Haven, that opened last month. After changing out of your uniform and throwing your work stuff in the trunk, you walk across the plaza to the shop entrance.

The bookstore greets you with the chime of a bell and a rush of cool air as you step in, a blissful contrast to the scorching outdoors. The welcoming scent of coffee grounds and the tangy aroma of old books accompany the refreshing breeze. You take a deep breath, appreciating the convivial atmosphere. The bookstore is a sublime sight; words almost can’t describe its charm.

Shelves like skyscrapers—stuffed to the brim with books, magazines, and comics—graze the ceiling. An intimate reading nook lies next to the door; an inviting window seat dwells beside a floor-to-ceiling window. Clear mosaic window clings cover the glass, casting beautiful rainbows throughout the store. Stringed vintage light bulbs illuminate the shelves; candle-lit sconces adorn the top corners of each one. Oriental rugs lay between the shelves, covering a dark mocha floor. Tucked in the back of the store is a small coffee cranny, hidden at first glance. Frank Sinatra’s charming, rich vocals travel through the air, tickling your ears. The owner clearly put the utmost time, energy, and love into the creation of their shop. It is unequivocally perfect and already one of your favorite places.

You wander to the classics section, enthralled by the exquisite covers. Sensing someone nearby, your eyes glance at movement caught in the corner of your eye. Your stomach somersaults at the stunning stranger. The instant you lay your eyes on him, you forget to breathe for a moment—your breath engulfs your throat. You’re astounded by the Adonis of a man before you.

Bristles of scruff grace his defined jawline—his low man-bun neatly styles his dark chestnut hair. A grey short-sleeve button-up shirt hugs his toned arms; a white tank top clings to his lean, fit frame; cuffed slim-fit khaki pants, help up by a bronze braided belt, embrace his thick thighs; and weathered, chunky brown leather shoes don his feet.

Through the rose-colored glasses that surround your heart, your soul imagines a life with a perfect stranger. The hopeless romantic in you can’t help but steal glances, hoping to catch a better glimpse of him. The moment he turns to walk away, your heart sinks to your stomach. You hope this isn’t the last time you see this gorgeous man.

A few minutes later, you’re mulling over a collectible edition of The Catcher in the Rye, attempting to justify purchasing yet another copy of your favorite book. A melodic voice interrupts your pondering. “That’s a pretty edition of The Catcher in the Rye you’ve got there.”

You turn towards the charming voice. Lo-and-behold, it’s the love of your life: the handsome stranger you’ve mentally lived a lifetime with. His beauty is even more profound up close: now you can see that his eyes are a lovely shade of blue. His eyes, haunted by a subtle sadness, draw you in, unlike anything you’ve experienced before. You find yourself entranced in his sea-blue current; you could easily drown in his gaze. You attempt to hide your awestruck expression and converse with him like a normal human being. “I agree! I already own a copy though, do I really need a new one?”

“I think we both know the answer is always yes,” he assures.

“Okay, you’ve convinced me. I'll get it! Thank you for justifying my unnecessary purchase.”

Your words hang in the air, everything going quiet as you wait for the ravishing stranger to introduce himself. The two of you stare in silence at each other, the tension thickening as the seconds pass by. After a few moments, his face flashes in realization—you were waiting for his name.

“I’m Bucky,” he offers with an enchanting smile, extending his hand out to you. You share your name as the two of you shake hands. Your eyes stare down his veiny arm to his ring-studded fingers grasped around yours. You allow yourself to imagine for a few moments how amazing those fingers would feel tracing your arms, tangling your hair, and teasing your inner thigh. Your lustful reverie comes to an abrupt halt at the sight of the book nestled inside the crook of his elbow: The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, the bane of your existence. You scoff with furrowed brows; of course, Mr. Handsome Stranger would be interested in the one book you despise.

“Got something to say there, sweetheart?” he questions with an amused grin.

“Out of all the classic novels in this entire store, that’s the one you chose? The Metamorphosis?”

“What’s wrong with this one?” he jives.

You pause for a second, debating whether it’s worth it to argue with a stranger. The pondering lasts only a few seconds; the exhaustion from your day disintegrates your filter. Besides, you loathe The Metamorphosis.

“What isn’t wrong with it? The dude wakes up thinking he’s an insect? The reader has to sit there throughout the entire book, wondering whether he’s a man or a bug? What the actual fuck? I didn’t appreciate the existential crisis that book gave me at fifteen; if I can help someone else avoid the suffering caused by that monstrosity, I'm going to do my part,” you huff, unamused by the joy Bucky seems to gain from your zealous analysis.

“Wow, what a passionate review! Perez Hilton would be envious of your slander. Okay then, what classic would you recommend instead?”

You cross your arms, expecting him to challenge your response. “The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde.”

“That’s a play,” he counters.

“It’s published as a book; it counts! It’s witty, playful, and has a happy ending, which is the most important point of all. It also doesn’t make you want to pull a Fahrenheit 451 and burn every copy in existence,” you attest.

He steps closer to you, tucking loose strands of his hair behind his ear. “Life doesn’t always have a happy ending, sweetheart.”

Great, there he goes again with that freaking pet name; it’s going to be the death of you. He knows your name, you just gave it to him, yet here he is, infuriatingly insisting on calling you sweetheart instead. Stupid pretty boy with his ocean blue eyes and amorous smile.

“That’s exactly the point,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “So, why would I want to read something that doesn’t end well? If I’m going to escape this reality for a while, it better be for a happier one.”

“And if it's not?”

“Then I’ll throw the book across the room and make up my own happy ending!”

“Ooh, aggressive,” he tuts. “The owner of this place might not be too happy with you if you’re throwing books all over the place; it’ll scare away the customers.”

“Then it’s a good thing the owner isn’t here,” you interject confidently, knowing full well you have no idea who the owner is.

“Well, that just isn’t true, sweetheart. You’re looking right at him.”

He’s lying—he has to be. Why would a dreamboat like Bucky own a bookstore?

You scoff, “you’re not the owner of this place.”

“I’m not? What makes you say that?” he banters.

“People like you don’t own bookstores!” you exclaim.

“People like me?” he goads, cocking his head to the side. The action erupts butterflies in your stomach.

“Attractive people!” you groan.

“So you think I’m attractive?” he plays, stepping to close the gap between you.

“Psh, no, you wish,” you muster. The heat spreading across your cheeks betrays your bluff.

There are mere inches between the both of you now; you hope he can’t hear your racing heartbeat. You watch his eyes go down from yours to your mouth and back up again. He eyes you with a smirk, his teeth playfully tugging his bottom lip. It takes everything in your power not to give in to his spell.

“I’ve known you for what, five minutes? I don’t go around kissing strangers, Bucky,” you falter, taking a step back from his closeness.

“Then let’s not be strangers, sweetheart. Grab a coffee with me; I know a nice place, not far from here,” he flirts, gesturing to the counter at the back of the store.

“Let me learn more about what goes on in that pretty little head of yours,” he purrs, his breath tickling your cheek.

“Okay, fine. I’ll have a coffee with you,” you surrender.

A bright, honeyed smile dons his face.  

“It better be good, though. Not the stale crap you usually get in the middle of the afternoon.”

“I’d only give you the best, sweetheart,” he winks, extending his right hand. You take it; he gives you a soft squeeze before weaving you through the towering shelves.

Your discussion continues with another passionate book review as he prepares your drink. He’s a sucker for gritty dystopian novels while you gravitate towards sappy romances. He shares his passion for painting as he guides you to the reading nook. The artwork hung on the edges of the bookcases is crafted by him—a detail you hadn’t noticed at first glance. His stunning work features both landscapes and people. He loves to sit in a picturesque landscape and paint for endless hours. Occasionally, he takes his old polaroid as he explores the town, snapping moments between strangers, translating their intimacy to canvas when he gets home.

He gestures for you to take a seat in the reading nook before handing you our steaming cup of joe. You sit with your legs crossed, your hands hugging the mug in your lap. Bucky sits with his leg draped over the side of the bench, his left foot pressing into his right thigh. The conversation shifts topics; the two of you divulge your desires and unfulfilled ambitions. You aren’t sure if it’s the look in his eyes, the sweet cup of joe in your palms, or the aroma of coffee surrounding you, but in his presence, your senses feel wide awake.

Before you know it, the mesmeric moon replaces the sizzling sun, melting away the blistering heat, and the steaming cup of coffee in your hands has long chilled. Bucky’s employee interrupts the blissful rendezvous, informing him that all the closing duties are complete, and he’s headed home for the night.

You stare at your watch in shock—it's five past nine. Where did the time go? You apologize profusely to the poor kid who had to close up alone; he assures you it’s no problem.

A melancholic pit in your stomach forms as you turn back to Bucky. He’s nestled himself into your soul; you don’t want to say farewell to him so soon. He has a sad glint in his eyes; you hope it’s because he’s also dreading the end of this perfect night.

“Can I walk you to your car?” he asks timidly, his earlier suave demeanor gone from his voice. He stands up in front of you, offering his arm to escort you.

“I’d love that,” you reply with a shy grin, grabbing his arm and hugging it tightly.

In the blink of an eye, you’re in front of your car. You let go of his arm and lean against the trunk. You stare into his eyes, hoping that he can see without the use of words how much you don’t want this moment to end. There’s a few moments of painful silence before Bucky clears his throat.

“So, now that we’re not total strangers, how about that kiss?” he flirts with pleading eyes.

“Okay,” you reply with a bashful smile.

He slowly reaches his hand towards your cheek, softly stroking it with his thumb. He presses his forehead against yours. “Are you sure you want to do this? ‘Cause if we do, you might not be able to get rid of me, sweetheart.”

“Yes I do, Bucky,” you giggle.

He grins as he gently presses his pillowy pink lips on yours. The kiss steals all the air from your lungs—his touch sends tingles throughout your body, electrifying your veins. You’re breathless when your lips finally part.

“Let me get your number before I let you go,” Bucky insists. You nod and hand him your phone, unable to form a coherent thought.  The ghost of his lips and fingers trace your figure. You’re barely acquainted with his tender touch, yet you feel naked without it, yearning to once again be within his grasp.

You exchange phones—adding your number and name with a sparkling heart emoji and swiftly passing his phone back before you can change your mind. Bucky snaps a quick selfie for his contact, smirking for the camera. You grin when you see he also put emojis by his name: a beetle and a kissy-face.

He pecks your cheek before opening the car door for you. “Hope to see you around, lovebug.” The new pet name burns your cheeks and erupts butterflies in your stomach.

He doesn’t leave the parking lot until your car disappears completely from his view.

You drive home with thoughts of Bucky swirling in your mind. You send a silent thanks to the universe for bringing this beautiful man into your life. His voice, touch, and smile echo in your thoughts for the remainder of the evening—his presence paving its way through your dreams. You’re falling hard and fast; you only hope he’ll be there to catch you.

tagging a few mutuals who expressed interest in this story🥰please fill out the taglist form if you’d like to be tagged in the next story! 💖

@ritesofreverie @midnightf @certainaesthetic

[notsoheadless]

Remember Longcat, Jane? I remember Longcat. Fuck the picture on this page, I want to talk about Longcat. Memes were simpler back then, in 2006. They stood for something. And that something was nothing. Memes just were. “Longcat is long.” An undeniably true, self-reflexive statement. Water is wet, fire is hot, Longcat is long. Memes were floating signifiers without signifieds, meaningful in their meaninglessness. Nobody made memes, they just arose through spontaneous generation; Athena being birthed, fully formed, from her own skull.     You could talk about them around the proverbial water cooler, taking comfort in their absurdity. “Hey, Johnston, have you seen the picture of that cat? They call it Longcat because it’s long!” “Ha ha, sounds like good fun, Stevenson! That reminds me, I need to show you this webpage I found the other day; it contains numerous animated dancing hamsters. It’s called — you’ll never believe this — hamsterdance!” And then Johnston and Stevenson went on to have a wonderful friendship based on the comfortable banality of self-evident digitized animals.     But then 2007 came, and along with it came I Can Has, and everything was forever ruined. It was hubris, Jane. We did it to ourselves. The minute we added written language beyond the reflexive, it all went to shit. Suddenly memes had an excess of information to be parsed. It wasn’t just a picture of a cat, perhaps with a simple description appended to it; now the cat spoke to us via a written caption on the picture itself. It referred to an item of food that existed in our world but not in the world of the meme, rupturing the boundary between the two. The cat wanted something. Which forced us to recognize that what it wanted was us, was our attention. WE are the cheezburger, Jane, and we always were. But by the time we realized this, it was too late. We were slaves to the very memes that we had created. We toiled to earn the privilege of being distracted by them. They fiddled while Rome burned, and we threw ourselves into the fire so that we might listen to the music. The memes had us. Or, rather, they could has us.     And it just got worse from there. Soon the cats had invisible bicycles and played keyboards. They gained complex identities, and so we hollowed out our own identities to accommodate them. We prayed to return to the simple days when we would admire a cat for its exceptional length alone, the days when the cat itself was the meme and not merely a vehicle for the complex memetic text. And the fact that this text was so sparse, informal, and broken ironically made it even more demanding. The intentional grammatical and syntactical flaws drew attention to themselves, making the meme even more about the captioning words and less about the pictures. Words, words, words. Wurds werds wordz. Stumbling through a crooked, dead-end hallway of a mangled clause describing a simple feline sentiment was a torture that we inflicted on ourselves daily. Let’s not forget where the word “caption” itself comes from: capio, Latin for both “I understand” and “I capture.” We thought that by captioning the memes, we were understanding them. Instead, our captions allowed them to capture us. The memes that had once been a cure for our cultural ills were now the illness itself.     It goes right back to the Phaedrus, really. Think about it. Back in the innocent days of 2006, we naïvely thought that the grapheme had subjugated the phoneme, that the belief in the primacy of the spoken word was an ancient and backwards folly on par with burning witches or practicing phrenology or thinking that Smash Mouth was good. Fucking Smash Mouth. But we were wrong. About the phoneme, I mean. Theuth came to us again, this time in the guise of a grinning grey cat. The cat hungered, and so did Theuth. He offered us an updated choice, and we greedily took it, oblivious to the consequences. To borrow the parlance of a contemporary meme, he baked us a pharmakon, and we eated it.     Pharmakon, φάρμακον, the Greek word that means both “poison” and “cure,” but, because of the

limitations of the English language, can only be translated one way or the other depending on the context and the translator’s whims. No possible translation can capture the full implications of a Greek text including this word. In the Phaedrus, writing is the pharmakon that the trickster god Theuth offers, the toxin and remedy in one. With writing, man will no longer forget; but he will also no longer think. A double-edged (s)word, if you will. But the new iteration of the pharmakon is the meme. Specifically, the post-I-Can-Has memescape of 2007 onward. And it was the language that did it, Jane. The addition of written language twisted the remedy into a poison, flipped the pharmakon on its invisible axis.     In retrospect, it was in front of our eyes all along. Meme. The noxious word was given to us by who else but those wily ancient Greeks themselves. μίμημα, or mīmēma. Defined as an imitation, a copy. The exact thing Plato warned us against in the Republic. Remember? The simulacrum that is two steps removed from the perfection of the original by the process of — note the root of the word — mimesis. The Platonic ideal of an object is the source: the father, the sun, the ghostly whole. The corporeal manifestation of the object is one step removed from perfection. The image of the object (be it in letters or in pigments) is two steps removed. The author is inferior to the craftsman is inferior to God.     Fuck, out of space. Okay, the illustration on page 46 is fucking useless; I’ll see you there. (21) But we’ll go farther than Plato. Longcat, a photograph, is a textbook example of a second-degree mimesis. (We might promote it to the third degree since the image on the internet is a digital copy of the original photograph of the physical cat which is itself a copy of Platonic ideal of a cat (the Godcat, if you will); but this line of thought doesn’t change anything in the argument.) The text-supplemented meme, on the other hand, the captioned cat, is at an infinite remove from the Godcat, the ultimate mimesis, copying the copy of itself eternally, the written language and the image echoing off each other, until it finally loops back around to the truth by virtue of being so far from it. It becomes its own truth, the fidelity of the eternal copy. It becomes a God.     Writing itself is the archetypical pharmakon and the archetypical copy, if you’ll come back with me to the Phaedrus (if we ever really left it). Speech is the real deal, Socrates says, with a smug little wink to his (written) dialogic buddy. Speech is alive, it can defend itself, it can adapt and change. Writing is its bastard son, the mimic, the dead, rigid simulacrum. Writing is a copy, a mīmēma, of truth in speech. To return to our analogous issue: the image of the cheezburger cat, the copy of the picture-copy-copy, is so much closer to the original Platonic ideal than the written language that accompanies it. (“Pharmakon” can also mean “paint.” Think about it, Jane. Just think about it.) The image is still fake, but it’s the caption on the cat that is the downfall of the republic, the real fakeness, which is both realer and faker than whatever original it is that it represents.    Men and gods abhor the lie, Plato says in sections 382 a and b of the Republic. οὐκ οἶσθα, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τό γε ὡς ἀληθῶς ψεῦδος, εἰ οἷόν τε τοῦτο εἰπεῖν, πάντες θεοί τε καὶ ἄνθρωποι μισοῦσιν; πῶς, ἔφη, λέγεις; οὕτως, ἦν δ᾽ ἐγώ, ὅτι τῷ κυριωτάτῳ που ἑαυτῶν ψεύδεσθαι καὶ περὶ τὰ κυριώτατα οὐδεὶς ἑκὼν ἐθέλει, ἀλλὰ πάντων μάλιστα φοβεῖται ἐκεῖ αὐτὸ κεκτῆσθαι. “Don’t you know,” said I, “that the veritable lie, if the expression is permissible, is a thing that all gods and men abhor?” “What do you     mean?” he said. “This,” said I, “that falsehood in the most vital part of themselves, and about their most vital concerns, is something that no one willingly accepts, but it is there above all that everyone fears it.” Man’s worst fear is that he will hold existential falsehood within himself. And the verbal lies that he tells are a copy of this feared dishonesty in the soul.

Plato goes on to elaborate: “the falsehood in words is a copy of the affection in the soul, an after-rising image of it and not an altogether unmixed falsehood.” A copy of man’s false internal copy of truth. And what word does Plato use for “copy” in this sentence? That’s fucking right, μίμημα. Mīmēma. Mimesis. Meme. The new meme is a lie, manifested in (written) words, that reflects the lack of truth, the emptiness, within the very soul of a human. The meme is now not only an inferior copy, it is a deceptive copy.     But just wait, it gets better. Plato continues in the very next section of the Republic, 382 c. Sometimes, he says, the lie, the meme, is appropriate, even moral. It is not abhorrent to lie to your enemy, or to your friend in order to keep him from harm. “Does it [the lie] not then become useful to avert the evil—as a medicine?” You get one fucking guess for what Greek word is being translated as “medicine” in this passage. Ding ding motherfucking ding, you got it, φάρμακον, pharmakon. The μίμημα is a φάρμακον, the lie is a medicine/poison, the meme is a pharmakon.     But I’m sure that by now you’ve realized the (intentional) mistake in my argument that brought us to this point. I said earlier that the addition of written language to the meme flipped the pharmakon on its axis. But the pharmakon didn’t flip, it doesn’t have an axis. It was always both remedy and poison. The fact that this isn’t obvious to us from the very beginning of the discussion is the fault of, you guessed it, language. The initial lie (writing) clouds our vision and keeps us from realizing how false the second-order lie (the meme) is.     The very structure of the lying meme mirrors the structure of the written word that defines and corrupts it. Once you try to identify an “outside” in order to reveal the lie, the whole framework turns itself inside-out so that you can never escape it. The cat wants the cheezburger that exists outside the meme, but only through the meme do we become aware of the presumed existence of the cheezburger — we can’t point out the absurdity of the world of the meme without also indicting our own world. We can’t talk about language without language, we can’t meme without mimesis. Memes didn’t change between ‘06 and ‘07, it was us who changed. Or rather, our understanding of what we had always been changed. The lie became truth, the remedy became the poison, the outside became the inside. Which is to say that the truth became lie, the pharmakon was always the remedy and the poison, and the inside retreated further inside. It all came full circle. Because here’s the secret, Jane. Language ruined the meme, yes. But language itself had already been ruined. By that initial poisonous, lying copy. Writing.     The First Meme.     Language didn’t attack the meme in 2007 out of spite. It attacked it to get revenge.     Longcat is long. Language is language. Pharmakon is pharmakon. The phoneme topples the grapheme, witches ride through the night, our skulls hide secret messages on their surfaces, Smash Mouth is good after all. Hey now, you’re an all-star. Get your game on.     Go play.