#i would do it now but it’s 4am and i have a driving lesson at 1

[sunglassesmish]

i can’t wait to gif all those funny moments of the 118 from this episode later today 🥰

[hcsarchive]

BOXER II

PARTY TWO

* part one *

nct dream (hint of the boyz)

details « fem!reader x boxer!jaemin (ft. boss!haechan)

genre « smut with a plot, fluff?, lil angst +

- after getting cheated on, you get invited to an underground boxing match but you stumble into some dangerous territory and that's where things take a turn.

warnings: explicit language, flirty banter, praise kink, corruption kink, knives, rope bunny, cheating, violence, depression and of mentions food.

~

"I am still so confused about this. If he wanted to kill her he would've done it already and if he wanted to fuck he would've kicked her out by now. What is his deal? other people have trespassed before”

“Who knows let's get going. I have never seen him like this" Renjun loads his gun on the way out and 8 other men circle around the three of you. You’re now fully clothed and after being tied up. After the fight ended he started to untie everything and told Renjun to bring in extra clothes from the showgirls’ closet for you to wear.

"Start heading home, make sure she remains asleep the whole ride" Jisung picks you up and Renjun lifts up your arm. "You left her all bruised and red. Haechan come on dude" Haechan rolls his eyes.

"She needed to learn her lesson" Haechan smirks and pours a glass of scotch. The duo leave to the car.

"She is very pretty compared to all the other girls who work for us, so maybe he is using this as an excuse and keeping her with us" Jisung says and brushes back a strand of your hair.

"You are getting on my nerves" Renjun parks the car and opens the back door.

The guards drive away and Jisung carries your still sleeping body in.

*One hour later*

"One of you has to investigate and interview her” haechan says.

"I'll interview her," Jaemin says, he only cared about training and winning the championship so everyone looked around at each other then at him.

"Jaemin I don't think you are the right fit for this or even trained enough," Renjun says. They start to argue.

Haechan shushes everyone "Just let her sleep, we'll do it in the morning. Take her to the spare room which has no windows or anything and take turns watching her" Haechan walks away into his room.

"What is his deal," Mark says walking in from the kitchen.

"That's what I've been saying," Jisung says.

"I'll watch her I was sleeping until you guys got here" Mark said and took you to the room. He tucked you in and you were sound asleep. Normally you’re a light sleeper but today drained you.

It was around 4am and Jaemin was about to head back into his room since his sleep schedule is bad. He found mark sleeping on the chair outside, Jaemin shook him but he was still snoring.

“Fucking prick can sleep all day” he opens the door and finds you rolled up in a corner sobbing.

He was about to leave so Mark can deal with this but you turn around before he even reacted. “Can I please get some water, I tried telling the dude in the chair but-“

“I’ll get you some, lay back down” Jaemin goes to the kitchen and gets two water bottles from the fridge. He also grabbed a tissue box from the cabinet.

“Thanks” you say while taking them for him.

“Yup” he leaves before you say anything. Normally you will be freaking out about walking in into a kidnap. Also having no idea why they took you all the way to their personal home but you had no choice and nothing to lose.

You are working horrendous hours and studying really hard but felt like it’ll lead you to nowhere to where you want to be. This on the other hand is confusing, do not know if you’re being killed or sold off. After being cheated on you just want to a break from your life but you miss your friends.

“Jacob” you gasped and someone bursted into the room.

It was mark, he turned the lights on. “Can i have my phone please. my friends are probably looking for me” you say.

“Unfortunately you can’t. You’ll have to be monitored and be held without any contact for at least 48hours” Mark said.

“They would be suspicious though they know my schedule and routine. I disappeared after telling them i went to the bathroom during the fight”

“It is just what we do here I’m sorry” mark scarthes the back of his head.

“Who’s we? I haven’t even gotten told why I am here. This whole situation is stupid. Your boss is-“ you stop what you were about to say because Haechan shows up in the door way.

“What about me?” he gets closer to the bed.

“Haechan don’t start give her some space” Mark grabs his wrist.

“Why? she’s not talking to you with respect and that little mouth of her’s is always whining” Haechan gets as close as Mark let’s him.

“I want to know why I am here. I have work in like 4 hours then class at night. I don’t have time to be involved in your mafia rules and regulations I do not care what you guys even do” you take off the covers and storm off the room but got stopped by Jaemin.

“I’m sorry sweetheart you’re going to be here for a while-“ you hiss in pain after his arms touch your arms to turn you around and let’s go right away.

“Haechan just explain everything to her now” Jaemin says. Haechan already changed his gaze to you and to Jaemin.

“I didn’t train you guys for years for you to be all soft and warm” Haechan goes past the three of you. “Go to the living room and you two get the others” he starts to get mad.

Mark and Jaemin go to wake everyone up and you stare up at haechan once you sit down. He looks back at you “stop the act” you knit your eyebrows together.

“I can always start screaming out the window” you say.

“They all have a security codes to open them. Especially the door so nice try” He sits directly in front of you.

Jeno, Chenle, Renjun, and Jisung all come half asleep. “It’s literally our day off why are we up so early” Chenle complains.

Renjun is slowly walking with his file with his eyes adjusting to the light. “Alright now that everyone is here. Before anything, sign this contract and read everything throughly. You will have to be monitored, watched, and live under our bases for 2 months or until we think it is appropriate to release you. After that you will have to sign an NDA and also be monitored. The reason for all of this is because you trespassed, harassed my crew, and other rules were all stated on your ticket. We also need you to call your university, work, and friends to let them know you’re taking a short break. I also did a even more thorough background check and boy was I amazed” He switches his professionalism off after the last sentence.

“I won’t be killed or sold?” you look at all of them. “Oh no you’re all mine” Haechan smirks.

“Keep it professional Haechan we are still in the process of her signing the contract. This isn’t funny” Renjun says handing you a pen. You sign it because it’s not like you have choice.

“I wasn’t joking” Haechan takes the contract from you and gives you another one. It has your name and your information. “Fill out who you were last with and you’ll be able to call them after you explain everything to us”

You sign the contract and hand it to him. “Do I have to say it in front of everyone” you look around to everyone and everyone looks so intimidating. They’re all with messy hair and deep voices. “Unfortunately you have to. It is just like a board meeting which was originally going to be in our headquarters but Haechan decided to do things differently” your whole body starts to heat up and have flashbacks to what happened. You can’t believe that happened, sunwoo never did that either.

“I-“ haechan was cut off “Y/N hasn’t answered and we do not need your comments” Renjun cut him off.

“So I was with my boyfriend but he suddenly left…again. Then his friends decided to take me to the boxing match since I was upset he left and they had his extra ticket. I wasn’t aware where we were even going. Once we got to our seats and watched more of the match I needed to go to the bathroom. I saw lots of doors from my seat so I figured one of them had to be the restroom. I go through the isles of seats and the random crowd which I believe that is the VIP area now. When I was in that area I was being pushed around alot and I got pushed so hard by this drunk man into this couple making out. And the lovely couple was your show girl and my boyfriend…ex boyfriend but whatever. So I was trying to escape the situation as much as possible and find a peaceful place to cry in but I stumbled into god knows what you guys are and I never got cry” you want to cry but you hold it in.

You look down to your hands and wait for Renjun to finish writing. “The interview is over, you are welcome to call one person since it is technically morning but you’re not allowed to tell them where you went or why. Make up a reasonable lie. To make you more comfortable you can go into the room and call but one of us has to be in the room with you” Renjun hands the phone to you.

“Can you come with” You look at Jisung and he nods yes.

“We’ll be right back” Jisung leads you to the room.

You decided to call Chanhee, “put it on speaker phone and mute yourself when I tap you” Jisung says and you nod.

“Y/N why didnt you come home tonight? are you ok?” the phone doesn’t even ring two times and chanhee picks up right away.

“I’m ok and I won’t be home for a little while. I just need a small break from everything” you respond to him.

“Sunwoo came home angry were you with him after hanging out with the guys?” he asks concerned and his name makes the tears fall down.

“No but I need a break from him, school, and everything else. I wish I can take you with but that’ll be selfish.” you wipe your tears and start sobbing.

“If anything happens or you need someone to talk to, you know the drill. take care my love and don’t forget about me” Chanhee says all sad.

“I will never forget you. You’re literally my favorite person. I’ll keep in touch every chance I get.” Your tears start pouring down even more.

“Bye y/n” chanhee sighs.

“byeee love you” you hang up and start sobbing uncontrollably. Jisung hands you tissues. “I’m sorry to put you through this” he says.

“You’re just doing your job, I don’t blame you” you wipe the last of your tears.

You hear a knock on the door “Jisung I need you start getting ready and go to headquarters in half an hour. I need you, Renjun, and Mark to wrap up this case. Chenle will drop you guys off. Jeno and Jaemin will stay with me.” Haechan says coming into the room.

Jisung whispers bye and steps out of the room. Haechan comes in and you stay silent, you feel embarrassed that he found out everything now. “Jaemin must’ve knocked him too much in the head and turn him dumb for him to cheat on you” you look at him confused.

“He has fought in the rink before?”

“No but our trainers use Jaemin to train them well but he got knocked up real bad last time since he stopped showing up to practice and hanging out with Jia. The guys are taking care of him” you now get worried. “They’re just going through a similar process as how we did with you earlier since he was the actual last person that is connected to you and to us. He doesn’t know what we really are” Haechan sits at the desk chair.

“What are you guys I am still very confused” you scan his face and he turns nervous.

“I swear I am not working with anyone I just want to know who i’ll be living with” his facial expression changes.

“I basically control and own all the illegal boxing rinks, casinos, cartels, and trading events in Korea, Europe, and The United States. We have millions of people working for us and we simply make the decision and sometimes get our hands dirty.” Haechan says.

“Wow and at your age you accomplished all that?” you gasp.

“I won’t take all the credit since my ancestors have been doing this since 1700s but I have broken many records and branched out internationally faster than anyone” he stands up and walks to you slowly. “I would also would like to know more about you. I know I didn’t give you chance earlier” he tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear and wipe the remaining tears left in your cheeks.

You and Haechan were in complete silence, looking into eachother’s eyes. His expression is more soft and observant than how he was last night. He is even more beautiful with his bareface and unstyled hair.

A dry throat wakes the both of you up, it’s Jaemin in a apron. “I made breakfast for y/n” he comes in with a board.

“Quit it” Haechan mutters to Jaemin under his breath and leaves.

“He’s always like this” he rolls his eyes. “Anyways fyi I kind of looked through your coffee coffin app to see how you like your coffee so sorry in advance”

You smile widely “That’s so sweet thank you” you taste it “ wow it’s way better than the one at coffin’s” you set the cup down.

“If you want to bring your food to the living room and watch tv you could” he says.

“Am I allowed?” you stare out the door.

“I’ll allow it. If Haechan says anything, blame it on me” you follow Jaemin with your food. You set your food down on the coffee table and sit on the floor.

He goes to kitchen to help Jeno finish up. Once they’re all done Jaemin joins you on watching some random episode of the Simpsons silently.

“What is she doing out here” Haechan comes out of his room all dressed up in a suit and gun to his hip. “She’s harmless plus you can’t keep her in there forever” Jaemin says.

“I own her until she is released so you do not get to make those decisions” Haechan grabs Jaemin by his shirt.

“Fine alright. Chill out, I didn’t expect you to react this way” Jaemin gets your food and signals you to go to the room.

You stand up and go up Haechan “If you own me atleast do something. I’m not a throw pillow in the guest bedroom” you walk away and follow Jaemin back into your now new room.

“Thank you for atleast trying” you sit on the bed and take the plate from him.

“I’ll bring in my laptop and we can watch something after he leaves. I would’ve defended you but he was strapped so I didn’t want to deal with that” he smiles and leaves your doorway.

You silently finish your food and stare at the wall. It is now hitting you that you will not be graduating on time, behind on bills, and not see your friends due to all this. Tears start to roll down again. You also no longer have a boyfriend which you loved to death.

He was your everything and one day he just flipped the switch. Sunwoo started calling you crazy and manipulative. He was just pushing you to break things off but you loved him too much to notice what was happening, he clearly didn’t love you enough to be honest and leave you.

You go to close the door but Haechan is standing there. “What did I do wrong this time” you start to sob more. “You look so pretty when you cry” he grabs your face and stares into your eyes. He inches closer to your face, his lips are a breath away from yours. “Tell me why you’re crying” he looks down at your lips and up to your eyes. You are trying to find words but his gaze just has you shock.

“It’s personal” you blink out the rest of your tears to see him more clearly.

“Tell me baby, I can fix anything for you” he stand up straight still holding your face.

“My ex boyfriend and school. But please don’t hurt him, he really wants to become a boxer”

“I won’t hurt him but Jaemin will. He’s a great money maker but it won’t stop me from giving him hell” he lets go of you and you’re left standing there looking stupid.

“Jaemin and Jeno will be here training all day. Do not leave your room, Jeno is in charge since Jaemin decided not to listen” he leaves.

He keeps switching to being an asshole to being warm. Then professional to whatever that was a couple seconds ago. The front door opens and closes and the multiple locks are heard clicking.

A knock at the doorframe was heard and Jaemin comes in as promised “I am not training today” he chuckles and sits on the bed next to you.

“Also is your body ok from yesterday?” he asks holding up your arm.

“I bruise easily so it isn’t too bad but I am a little sore” you look at all the rope marks on your legs and arms “this is so embarrassing” you pull your arm away gently.

“It’s impressive actually. Haechan is very picky from everyone else so it’s hard for someone or something to catch his attention…I can run you a salt bath after a movie, your bathroom has one” Jaemin has a big smile on his face. The most intimidating one turned out to be the sweetest.

“That’ll be lovely. You’re the best” you smile back at him.

After the movie, he opens the bathroom door and shows you how to work the shower and where everything is. “I’ll bring you some of my sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I’ll ask haechan if he can order hair and skin care specifically for you since this is just generic” he says.

“I don’t have money til next week so I’ll work with this” you say looking at the shampoo bottle. “That won’t be a problem sweetheart” Jaemin pour the salt and fills the tub.

“I will pay you guys back” you look down at the water.

“Oh you will” he smirks and you know exactly what he meant. “Check the water” he runs his hands through it and you do as well.

“Ooo it already feels nice. Thank you Jaemin” you side hug him.

“No problem. I’ll leave your clothes by the door. Lock it after I leave” you send a thumbs up.

You lock the door, get undressed and turn the bath lights on and lay on the circular bathtub. The bathroom is probably the same size as the room which shocked you because the one in your house and uni complex is the size of the tub itself.

You are floating in the tub and letting your body relax. After 20 minutes you step out of the tub and drain it. Then run to the shower to actually clean yourself. You grab the huge towel that was in the closet, and grab the clothes that Jaemin left you on the door step.

Jaemin’s sweatpants were comfy and his sweatshirt smelt good. You stepped out of the bathroom brushing your hair with a comb you found in the drawers.

Someone knocks at your door “come in” it’s Jaemin again and you smile at him. “I brought you socks from the convenient store and some fancy lotion that relaxes you” anyone can fall in love with him in seconds. He doesn’t even know you and he is doing all this.

“I cant thank you enough. You really didn’t have to do all this. You’re doing something I would beg my boyfriend to do and didn’t” you start to cry.

“Oh y/n don’t cry over someone who doesn’t deserve you” he opens the socks and lifts up the cover to reveal your feet. He puts them on and pats the cover over you.

“I’m sorry it’s just hitting me right now” you wipe off your tears.

“Let it all out” Jaemin hugs you and picks your body up to lay on him. You cry on his chest and you calm down after a while. The both of you are silent. His heart beat is in your ear and your eyes are slowly falling asleep.

Jaemin pets your head as you’re sleeping on his chest. He starts humming to a song he wrote not too long ago “like we just met”. Jaemin not only boxes but he loves to sing, write, and cook. Obviously this personality isn’t allowed to be seen by the outside world but he wishes to one day he could.

Haechan came home with 20 bags filled with clothes for you but found you and Jaemin sleeping tightly together. “Of course he wins again” the guys look at eachother confused and in shock…

a/n

This is more of a filler, so stay tuned for part three because things are going to escalate. Also! tysm for 200+ likes!! it is way more than i expected. take care everyone :)

[UNEDITED]

[v3nusxsky]

Good Morning Darling, it is currently way too early in the morning (4am-ish), and I should be sleeping. Buuuuttttt, I decided to read some fanfics, and the last time I checked the time, it said it was midnight, but here we are. 4 hours later, sleep deprived, and the fanfic I was reading is now finished. So, I decided before I get some sleep and before I have class later today (like, in 5ish hours) I would wish you a wonderful day! If you have a driving lesson today, I hope it goes well. (You'll be amazing at it, I just know it) And if you don't, then I hope you have a relaxing day. 😌 I hope today brings you nothing but smiles and happiness 😊

(P.s. I'll probs talk to you later. After I have loads of caffeine so I'm not a walking, talking zombie. Lol 😂 🫠)

(P.p.s. So, around 7pm-ish, I emailed my professor yesterday, and my email was like a paragraph long because I was confused about some stuff in my class. I asked him questions, and blah blah blah. And, about 10 minutes ago, I got an email back from him, and all he said in the email was "sure." Honeslty, all I could do was laugh because, tbh I shouldn't have expected anything else from him. Ohhhhh welllllll ☠️)

(P.p.p.s Have a wonderful morning, love)

~👋

Thank you darling I do have driving today in about half an hour but I’ve already had bad news this morning and it’s only 11am which amazes me

Look forward to it love

Omg that’s just bad man 😂

Have a good time at school and have a brilliant day 🩵

[johnemulaney]

John Mulaney: From Scratch in Las Vegas, September 4

Once again, spoilers for the show and what will presumably be in the special. This is about his relapse so tread with caution is that will be an issue for you. However, the tone of his struggle is the same one he used in his past specials so if you didn’t have any issues then, I think you’d be ok with this. Of course, use your own best judgement, friends.

The opener was Seaton Smith. 

He opened with trying to find the rich people in the crowd but acknowledged that they’d go mwrmwmwrw money isn’t everything so then he started talking about golf and went aha I got ya’ll. 

There was a joke about weed being the only Christian drug

He had a bit about when white people are nice, be nervous

He had a bit about there being a black man on the Bachelor and was like America (ABC and Disney+) were not ready for a black man to be fucking a house full of 50 white women. That shit premiered on Tuesday and the Capitol burned on Wednesday.

He also did some crowd work and roasted a couple in the front row for having different answers about kids and she was like I didn’t hear the question and was roasted about how not hearing questions you don’t want to answer is certainly a tactic, often used by drug dealers

He also had a bit about how different child rearing is in Texas versus New York and about how hitting your kids is treated differently, like his dad would have just threatened it whimsically. 

Now on to the Main Event!

The first thing he said was “hiiiiiiiiii” exactly in the tone you think he said it in. he followed that up with a little shrug looking adorable and a little bashful

“It’s him! Mr. Problems. Oh Las Vegas, Oh my god” he then talks about how Vegas is a land of vice and a Choice for him to preform in as a recovering addict. He had a sober buddy and 3 bodyguards with him at all times. 

“And here’s what happened” December 18, 2020, he gets invited to a friends apartment for dinner AND HE’S TWO HOURS LATE because he stopped, coked out of his mind, at SNL for a haircut because he still had his building access badge and he went to the hair department and they were like, he’ll leave faster if we just do this, and then he stopped at his drug dealers. 

He called venmo and cashapp, apps for drug deals and was like what do normal people even use them for. He maxed both out paying for drugs. 

He was the best looking person at his intervention. “Coke skinny, new cut” and the 12 people intervening looked like shit. He looked “tears for fears while they all looked jerry garcia” (I hope you know who those musicians are besties). 

He immediately yelled “Can I go to the bathroom” to you know, dump his drugs because when you walk into that, you know what it is. 

He was not allowed to go (he would be asked if he still needed to pee later and would say “what?”

There were 6 people in NYC and 6 people over zoom in LA because he guesses 6 people couldn’t be bothered to fly in for HIS INTERVENTION

Interventions can go two ways, it can be kind of accusatory and this is how you let us all down, or it can be supportive. Everyone but Nick Kroll got the memo to be supportive.

Nick Kroll went first.

Nick Kroll listed all the ways John was a bad best friend and brother over zoom and John was getting texts during the intervention saying Nick wasn’t supposed to do that and they were all sorry. 

Bill Hader went next. he originally wasn’t going to be able to make it so he had recorded a thing but since he was there, he did it live. (He would eventually send the video to John in rehab, which is not what you want on the way to rehab “awesome, more intervention”)

He tried to derail the intervention, “there’s not enough latinx representation” he said he’d go to any rehab except the one they had picked out for him. This was a star-studded affair and he was mad no one was being funny. 

 Natasha Lyons went next, telling him his life and career is in shambles

So he gets carted off to rehab after this intervention. Don’t let 12 comedians pack your bags for 2 months at rehab. it was bombas socks and iphone chargers. 

A little secret about rehab, you’re not allowed to bring drugs in. You remember how he was late? In his pocket on the way to rehab included: a huge amount of pills, 3g of coke (which was 2g by the time he got there, courtesy of a koala station in a gas station bathroom), and $2000 in cash. He had other plans for the weekend. He was admitted for xanax, coke, perocet, and adderall addiction. Say what you will, but he does not do anything half way.

It’s 4am when he’s sent to detox, he’s been awake for 3 days. 

He also gives a small lesson on how to get drugs. Find the lowest rated doctors on yelp and webmd reviews and go ask for them, they need all the business they can get. You become like Captain Phillips, I am the doctor now. 

Dr. Michael was his shady doctor. He was a first avenue apartment where he would write prescriptions from his kitchenette where his girl Minerva was always asleep. “I didn’t kill my wife Minerva.” But John would ask for his drugs, Dr. Michael would write the script and then ask what he needed it for. Dr. Michael would also make John take his shirt off, always offering a flu shot and going no, shirt all the way off (in case you were wondering how bad this addiction actually was)

The first moral is now you know. The second moral is get vaccinated.

He’s sent to the regular ward the next afternoon and they finally get him to sleep. 

He’s sketched out that doctors have last names at this establishment

He asks for drugs such as klonopin and is taken aback a bit when he doesn’t get them. The doctor is like PA state law says no, and so John suggests they go to a CVS in Jersey to get some. 

His bestie Pete Davidson starts calling that night. Except Pete changes his number every month and a half so John has him send a selfie and saves the new number under some other random name, at this point in time, Pete is saved as Al Pacino. (We get an Al Pacino impression) John is asleep and his nurse sees Al Pacino trying to call him 5 times and so she wakes him up. 

Pete Davidson and John Mulaney did not do drugs together. (The author is lowkey surprised and sad about that, like if Pete was my bestie, we’d make so many poor choices) But Pete was always very supportive of his sobriety. 

John needs recognition so badly, in group when they introduced themselves he said “I’m John M.” and no one cared. So he left a tabloid out with the news of his admittance and his face on it in the rec room on the table. The not being someone was “driving him bananas.” When they talked about what they do for a living and he said I’m a a stand up comedian, someone asked if he made a living that way. He said “yeah ask your daughter” (or your son)

One of the things you do at rehab is break up with your drug dealer.

One of his drug dealers only bought drugs to keep John from buying worse off the streets and only got into the game because John kept asking him for drugs and was his only buyer. That guy was originally a painter and John has no idea how they met. John is the only person to turn an innocent man into a drug dealer. 

Here he did the Baby J is back baby joke. the Park Theater is one of the biggest stages in the world so he did that joke in one pace across the stage and said the stage is that joke long. 

“I am no longer on drugs. It’s very good but also ah---” He’s in a 12 step anonymous group. 

“I need attention, clearly.” After a show you think he would be sated, but no. 

He wants that attention that the kid who’s grandparent died and showed up to school dressed for the funeral and got to sit in the beanbag chair for reading despite it not being his turn, gets. He went on about being willing to let one of the lesser important grandparents die so he could get attention, for quite a while. 

He feels left behind in science, like his C’s and D’s in those classes. All those classes were was putting things on a windowsill for the janitor to throw away. He had a bit about how the fuck people put dinosaurs back together, it’s like getting wayfair furniture without the instructions. 

He also things the moon belongs to America. Like we got there first and when other countries say stuff about the moon he’s like mmmmmmm.

He also had a joke about paying to get into college and like, for white people that’s always how it’s been. 

The show ended with him going over the highlights of that GQ interview that he was so coked out for that he forgot he did it entirely. He has no memory of it at all. He was just called up that day and asked for an interview and you know how coke is the best drug to receive attention on? He just did whatever he wanted with that attention. 

And that was the show.

[maadorii]

you’re gonna wanna be my best friend— y. itadori x gn! reader

max.note’s: this is my child, my baby and i love it. probably my favorite fic i’ve ever wrote uwu i think the ending is bit rushed but that’s i was writing this at 4am (i’m also trying out a new layout-ish so yea) 

synopsis—where you and Itadori came up with the greatest, yet stupidest idea in your lives: getting married to lower your tuition cost. what could go wrong? well, there’s getting caught by the government, and then there’s potentially falling in love with your best friend. 

warning/tags: best friends to lovers, mutual pining, characters aged up (18+), high school/college au, modern au, fluff & crack, megumi is the only one with a working brain cell 

w. count— 3.1k

“yuuji, what’re we gonna do!?” you exclaimed, pacing around the open space of said boy’s bedroom. itadori groaned loudly from his spot on his bed, tugging at the skin underneath his eyes with him. 

looking down at the bright, bold red letters of the opened email on your phone screen, you internally cried to yourself, because… fuck. this is what all the hard work all four-years of high school led up to?

25, 580 dollars worth tuition left to pay, out of pocket. 

“i don’t fucking know. ...wait, do you think megumi would have an answer?” he perked up at his own, and quite frankly, idiotic idea like an excited puppy. if you squint you can see a tail wagging behind him. turning around to look at the pink headed boy, you practically leaped across the room to slap him repeatedly upside his head. 

“ow– hey... ouch! what the fuck?!” itadori whined, lifting his arms up to shield himself way from your merciless assault. “yuuji, are you dumb? we cannot, for the love of god, ask megumi. he’ll probably tell us to apply for a loan or something.” you snapped. 

“we’ll do that then, it can’t be that hard.” 

“have you seen your credit? there’s no way we're getting approved for a loan.” you exasperated as you folded your arms across your chest, plopping yourself down next to itadori. and the both of you were left to sit in condemning silence that laid itself like a thick, winter blanket over you. itadori could’ve sworn he heard the gears turning in your head because of the stark silence. 

you suddenly gasped, jumping to your feet. it was almost like a lightbulb went off on the top of your head. itadori gaped at you as your eyes lit up like stars, turning to him, it was your ‘aha’ moment. the biggest smile he’s ever seen on your face. he couldn’t help the tinge of nervousness settle in the pit of his tummy, probably for good reason.  

“here me out– what if we got married?” 

-

you and itadori meet in the lunchroom on the first day of school your freshman year of high school.

to say you meet by pure coincidence is actually a perfect explanation to describe what really went down. you remember how you sat alone at the lunch table, scrolling through your phone on social media when all of a sudden a rather energetic boy with pink hair crashed into your table. face planted in your bowl of greek yogurt. and it was the fancy kind too. 

the cafeteria around you erupted in laughter at the... spontaneous display happening before you. and although you wanted to laugh (in all honesty, it was funny), the boy below hasn’t moved an inch. truthfully, you were worried. 

“hey, um, are you okay?” you asked, nudging the top of his head. itadori didn’t show any sign of getting up. you nudged him a little harder, shaking his shoulder. with a gurgled grunt, itadori lifted his head from the bowl and the first thing that caught your eye was the crimson colored blood smeared along the stark white of the yogurt. there was a delirious look in his eye as if he wasn’t completely there in the real world. the laughter has long since died down, only a few strangers coming up to the table to record the aftermath. 

when itadori came to, he peered up at you through his yogurt clumped eyelashes and he felt his heart tighten considerably in his chest. 

“you okay? you’re... bleeding, a lot.” you asked again, gesturing to the entirety of his face. he didn’t say anything as he wiped around his nose, seeing the blood covered dairy. he looked mortified, now catching onto the stares and cameras by nosy teenagers being shoved in his face. reacting quickly, you reached out to one his unoccupied hand, gently guiding him in the direction of the nurses office. your footsteps echoed as you walked down the empty hallway, itadori following close behind you. neither of you said anything during the trip, nor when you entered the nurse’s office. it wasn’t until you had a warm wash rag against itadori’s cheek, wiping away the food and blood mixture, that he finally said something. 

“i’m... sorry, for ruining your lunch...” you stopped in your tracks, left to ponder in your thoughts. he’s sitting here with a busted lip and a shattered dignity... and he’s apologizing for face planting in your yogurt?

“hey, you have bigger things to worry about. so, what’s your name?” you continued to wipe at his face, waiting for him to reply.

“yuuji itadori.” and you saw the slightest glimpse of a smile tugging at the corner of his rosy lips. you returned the smile, teeth showing. 

from then on, you two were joined at the hip. there wasn’t anything you didn’t do together. 

there was something about itadori that brought out the inner child in you. he was sweet, loyal and compassionate. he was a lamp to a moth– hard to resist. hard to ignore. he was your first taste of an easy going life, being able to enjoy being a kid. 

on the other hand, you were the foundation he needed. you were open minded, authentic and grounded. you were the first thing in itadori’s life that felt stable. obtainable. your ambition turned into his drive; he wanted to be by your side for as long as possible. 

you both were something– somebody, each other needed the most. it’s like what they say: the best people in your life come when you need them the most. 

-

“are you two dumb or something? now, i expect this kinda thing from yuuji, but not you.”megumi quipped, left eyebrow arched in concern as he gestured towards your direction with his pencil. nobara in a similar state next to him, working on the worksheet the teacher handed out earlier. it was currently mid-way through the school day, you, itadori, megumi and nobara sat at your assigned table in statistics. it’s been about a week since your discussion with itadori about your... rather brilliant idea. 

“well, that’s harsh.” itadori grumbled, flipping him off. megumi snorted as he returned the gesture. “okay, now listen! they’re explaining the thingy.” 

you cleared your throat, sitting up straight to try to make yourself look dignified. “when applying for financial aid, if you’re married, we’ll be considered an independent on the document. meaning? more money!” 

“okay, well that’s great and all but, you do know you’ll be responsible for each other legally? as in, medical and money expenses. what would you do if either one of you dies? ” megumi questioned. you chuckled, wrapping your arm around itadori’s neck. “i’ve been legally responsible for him since freshman year, what’ll be the difference?” 

megumi rolled his eyes, burying his head in his hands. “god, you’re both so helpless.” 

“you know what megumi? i hope both sides of your pillow are warm when you go to sleep tonight.” itadori gasped in shock, hand reaching up to grip the cotton fabric of the shirt he was wearing. nobara snickered behind her hand to which megumi prompted to shift in her direction, whispering something along the lines of “don’t encourage them!”

“(y/n)! you did not just say that!?”

“i sure as hell did. and i’ll say it again!” you snapped your fingers, jutting out your hip. “and they’ll say it again!” itadori said, copying your actions.

megumi and nobara only watched in pity as the two of you continued to embarrass yourself in the middle of the classroom, other classmates turning to catch a peak of the commotion.

“wait, i got one, i got one! ahem, i hope you pour yourself a nice, big bowl of cereal of— what do you eat? apple jacks? only for there to be no milk!” 

you sputtered out a laugh, pounding your fist on the table. itadori was loud with laughter as well, body slung over the back of the chair.

megumi sighed, picking up his pencil to erase a mistake he spotted on his paper. he watched as the eraser smudged the lead on the paper instead of actually erasing it. watching the scene unfold before you, wheezing out another laugh, and clutching on to your stomach for relief. 

“shut the fuck up, the both of you.”

-

graduation was only a month away. 

teachers were cramming review lessons left and right. completing any last minute work to turn in. senior activities, trips, prom, and getting ready for what was to be the biggest day of your life. where all your hard work and putting up with the shitty ass public school system for 13 years will finally pay off. 

at least that’s how they make it seem. 

itadori was currently sitting in megumi’s living room, sprawled out on the floor like a starfish. his political science textbook laid open next to him. he’s been unusually quiet this afternoon, megumi noted when he would glance up from his own textbook in his lap.

“hey, yuuji? something the matter?”

itadori didn’t respond right away, instead, he shifted himself closer to megumi to lay his head on the other boy's lap. caught surprised by his actions, megumi tried to shove his head off but itadori being the stubborn man he was wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“god, you’re so annoying—“

“then why are you still friends with me?” his words were quick and sharp like a kitchen knife. and megumi had to take a second to pause. “is this what this is about?” itadori still hasn’t said anything, his body curling in on itself. eventually, he shook his head no. 

“alright... then what’s wrong?” 

megumi watched as itadori twiddled with fingers, reluctant to share his feelings with the other male. you see, the thing is that although megumi and itadori have been friends since middle school, they found it hard to share each other's feelings. especially megumi. they’ve always been the “i don’t know how to talk about my feelings so let me enjoy your company for a while?” type of friends. except for that one time. 

“it’s just... i’m not so sure if i want to marry (y/n) anymore...” megumi could barely hear what itadori said, but he caught it. and color him surprised. “have you finally come to senses that it’s a stupid idea?” 

“no, it’s not that–” megumi sighed internally, “–it’s just, what if our relationship changes after it’s finalized? we planned to do it after graduation a-and– it’s just a really scary thing to think about.” itadori’s voice began to warble, and megumi could feel his body tremble as the boy beneath tried to hold in his tears. 

in all the years they’ve known each other, itadori has only cried once in front of him. and that was the night of his 16th birthday. because itadori didn’t come from the best home, and at the time, only megumi knew of such disclosed information. 

“they said it themselves, you guys have always taken care of each other. so why do you think it’ll change things?” he gently tried to coax itadori into calming down, his hand stroking the soft tufts of his hair. thumb caressing his buzzcut. itadori sniffed, and megumi can hear the disgusting sound of snot being sucked back in his nostrils, but he refrained himself from reacting. 

“b-because, i just don’t want my feelings to get in the way, ya’ know? this is simply supposed to be platonic, but it isn’t anymore. at least for me.” 

and right then and there, megumi’s suspicions were confirmed. itadori did have feelings for you. more than what a best friend should have. “your feelings? and what might these feelings be, yuuji?” 

“that i want to spend a very long time with them, by their side. but not as their best friend. something more than that.” he let out a shuddered  exhale, and the room was engulfed with silence. megumi took this time to process what itadori said, the last four words resonating in his mind. 

something more than that.

megumi shifted itadori’s body off his, moving to sit up on his own. and that’s when he saw his face for the first time; his red-brimmed eyes and how the tears clumped his willowy eyelashes together. the tremble in his lips because, damn, he’s trying so hard to hold it in. 

he didn’t have anything to say– there wasn’t much to say to begin with, but megumi wrapped his arms around itadori in a hug. he felt him relax against his body, taking in the cool scent of his sweater. 

“it’s okay to be scared, yuuji, but i believe... you’re smart enough to make the right decision.” 

 - 

standing underneath the blazing summer heat, you stood in front of the court house waiting for itadori to show up. today was supposed to be the day, where you and itadori were to be married. it’s been thirty minutes and no itadori in sight. which is unlike him considering that he is, surprisingly, very punctual. he hasn’t even responded to any of your texts or calls, which also isn’t very much like him.

but those thirty minutes turned into an hour, that soon turned into two hours. 

and to say you were angry, was a complete understatement. you were livid. and that’s how you found yourself banging on itadori’s front door, ignoring the stares of the noisy next door neighbor peeping through their window. 

“yuuji! open the fucking door! i know your ass is in there, i can see your minecraft lamp turned on from your window.” you shouted, breathing heavily through your nose. there wasn’t an immediate response, only dead silence, which prompted you to raise your fist to go another round of beating up the door until the faint sound of footsteps reached the door. opening with a creak. 

there stood the man of the hour, yuuji ita- fucking- dori.

“there you are! dude, what the hell happened? why didn’t you show up at the courthouse today? did you forget or...” you were quick to jump the gun, bombarding him with questions left and right. 

“no... i didn’t forget.” was his reply, eye downcast to look at his sock clad feet. anywhere but your face right now. 

“then what yuuji? what could’ve been so important that you decided to just forget?” you flayed your arms around like a mad man, the anger rolling off your body in waves. you knew that you weren’t necessarily being fair to him right now, you can tell by his stand-offish attitude since opening the door. but you couldn’t bring yourself to care at the moment. 

itadori was reluctant to answer, his legs wobbly with the anxiety running rampant in his system. he was tempted to say sorry and be done with this, but then he remembered megumi’s words.    

...you’re smart enough to make the right decision. 

“because... because this isn’t a good idea anymore.” now you’re more confused than angry. 

“what do you mean this isn’t a good idea anymore,” you asked, placing your hand on your hip. “that's not what you said 4 months ago.” 

itadori sighed, starting to feel the twinge of annoyance in the tips of his fingers. he was starting to regret his choice of words. “i know what i said 4 months ago. but now 4 months later, i’ve changed my mind.” 

you wanted to laugh, but you couldn’t muster a bubble of it in your system. was he for real right now? 

“oh really? and why do you say that?” 

“it’ll change everything.” the reply was short. straight to the point. 

“what? no, it won’t! don’t be silly, we’ll still be best friends!” you try to muse, but itadori wasn’t budging. his face was disdained, detached from the world. the answer was sitting on the tip of his tongue, but he wasn’t ready to say it. especially in front of you. 

taking in his physique, your mind started to slow. you didn’t want to go there but you couldn’t help it. it was only natural, right? 

he’s been off putting since the graduation ceremony two weeks ago. he was so bright and happy that day, shoving his diploma in megumi’s face a numerous number of times. you remember the scream he let out when your name was called to walk across the stage of the arena. how embarrassed you felt as you did so, but a twinge of giddy happiness filled your chest. because he was calling out your name. your heart always did leap with joy when his attention was on you, and only you. the way he had you wrapped around his finger, without him even knowing. it takes you back to when you two first met, how you were so captivated by his amber eyes. the sudden urge to be there. to always be there and to be more. 

so... “do you not like me anymore? is this what this is about now?” it came out a whispered, and itadori was shocked nonetheless. now what were you talking about? 

“what, no! of course i still like you!” you almost laughed at how quickly he responded.

“then why? why did you–”

“i just didn’t want to make things awkward between us! i didn’t want to ruin our friendship with my... stupid feelings.” glancing up, you can see the slightest tint of pink on the roundness of his cheeks. awkward? ruin? 

you took a step forward, your hand reaching to hold his. kindly, thumbing his knuckles with your thumb. the way he always liked it. 

“yuuji, your feelings are never stupid. i’m your best friend–” with a frustrated huff, itadori ripped his hand away from yours. 

“but that’s the thing though! best friend this and best friend that– what if i don’t want to be your best friend anymore, hm? what if–” make the right decision, “what if i want to be more than that?”

more than that?

“you want to be more than friends? is what you’re saying.” itadori can almost feel himself shit his pants. 

that giddy feeling that always erupted whenever you were around him expanded ten fold. you’ll be damned: your best friend of four and a half years, was in love with you. the smile that you struggled to fight bloomed with mirth on your face. and itadori followed suit, reaching out to hold your hand once more.

not much needed to be said, the smile on your face was enough for him to put it all together. for once, he was actually smart enough to make a decision. a good one at that. 

copyright © 2021 maadorii. all rights reserved. 

[over-under-through1]

Brick and Buttercups friendship headcannons

judgemental homiez

like they’ll be staring from 4 yards away at Boomer and Bubbles unsuccessfully flirting and just look at each other like “... dude.”

except Brick has no room to judge cause he’s a TRAIN WRECK while flirting with Blossom

so Buttercup is kinda forced into helping him with that one cause “jesus christ I cant watch this anymore you’re embarrassing yourself man”

Buttercup is his number 1 wingman

when they work together they can get literally anything done

like, if the teacher pairs them up on a group project? it’ll get done in 2 days, there’s a light show, speakers are set up, they bring in horses, it’s just nuts

Brick finds out that Butch has a thing for BC and does some lowkey work to get them together that no one knows about

he finds out BC likes guys in flannels? he starts sneaking flannels into Butches closet

oh, did I mention that he only trusts Buttercup to drive his car? because yeah, that’s a thing

also if he’s driving everyone (and Blossom isn’t there cause duh) BC gets first dibs on the front seat (much to his brother’s discontentment)

BC lowkey blackmails Brick into making her food cause his cooking is the best

they started making fun of Mike and Mitch doing the “bro hug” by mimicking them but then they got into the habit of doing it so now that’s a thing

so you’ll just see Brick congratulating BC on something by doing the 🤝 pat on the back thing

okay at Brick and Blossom’s wedding the red’s had a squabble over who gets to have BC has their brides maid/grooms man (maid?)

Blossom won because sister rights but Brick was very petty over it

he did however have BC at his bachelor party (he and Blossom had their parties on different days so this would work)

also if you were wondering: yes, Brick was at BC’s bachelorette party

BC is the cool aunt and Brick throws a hissy fit over it. BC finds this hilarious

Brick and Buttercup both mutually agreed that all big time family dinners (i.e. Christmas, any of their birthdays, new years, etc.) cooking is up to them. the only other person who is even REMOTELY aloud in that kitchen is Bubbles but Butch, Boomer, and Blossom’s are banned on all accounts

Brick and BC have been forbidden from being on a team during full family game nights (these nights include the greens, red, blues, miblo,robike, the prof, the mayor, Ms.Bellum, and Ms.Keane so you know that there’s a lot of competitive vibes in that room) cause they either get WAY too competitive together and end up flipping the board if they loose or they win within the first 10 minutes of playing

also This Art by Red Can Draw basically sums up how I see their entire friendship

Blossom may steal his hat and wear it to show love, but Buttercup does it purely to annoy him. it makes her laugh to see flames coming out of his nostrils

Brick once asked Buttercup to braid his hair and it DID NOT GO WELL

NEVER. AGAIN.

there’s a reason why she keeps hers so short, she’s just not good at hair man

she’s what influenced Brick into getting his ears pierced

he cried like a bitch and she had to begrudgingly comfort him with a “😑😬” face the entire time

they tag team to calm down their counterparts because hey, yes, normally Brick and BC are the more volatile teammates, but when their counterparts get pissed it takes the works of both of them combined to get them to see clearly again

Brick found out about the shit Buttercup went through with Ace in the past (not gonna get into that right now) and he literally shook Butch and Boomer awake at 4am so they could go “teach that slimy little bastard a lesson he’ll never forget” (Butch didn’t know why they were doing this because BC threatened to demember Brick if he ever told him, but hey, any excuse to beat up the green turd he’ll accept)

I’ve mentioned this so many times before but the amount of ARSON JOKES Buttercup makes about Brick

it’s non stop and he hates it

“I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, UTONIUM!! LET IT GO!!”

I also said before that she sends him a fire meme a day and I’m sticking with that

90% of the time they call each other by their last names, otherwise it’s “BC” and “Cap Boy” and “your redness”

[georgiasfm]

╰  ･ﾟ. * 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐘 ;

[ scarlett leithold, cis female, she/her ] have you seen GEORGIA CALLOWAY lately ? yeah, i heard they're TWENTY TWO years old and a REALITY TV STAR/PODCAST HOST now in charleston city. i mean, i don’t know if it’s their LEO vibes or that they’re -OBSTINATE and -CAPRICIOUS but also +GREGARIOUS and +EMPYREAN but they remind me of MIND GAMES by BANKS. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble around here. 

hey besties ! i’m ley , i’m 20 ( well .... i will be at midnight ) , i go by she / her pronouns , and i’m livin’ in the est timezone ! i unfortunately have a super busy weekend bc it’s my birthday , so i won’t be able to be around as much as i want to be. but i’m gonna do my best to as active as possible ! thankfully i wrote this intro ahead of time so for once it isn’t a complete disaster ( it’s still not good tho so don’t have high expectations ) anyways , here’s miss georgia calloway !! 

𝐈  . 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  :

FULL NAME  :  georgia belle calloway .       AGE  :  twenty - two  .   DATE OF BIRTH  :  july 23rd . ASTROLOGY SIGNS  :  leo sun , aquarius moon , pisces ascendant .   GENDER  : cis woman  .   PRONOUNS  :  she / her / hers  .   SEXUALITY  :  bisexual .       MOTHER  :  diane calloway  :  former pageant  &  debutante queen turned stay at home mom / trophy wife .   FATHER  :  jack calloway  :  career politician  &  mayor of charleston .  SIBLINGS  :  georgia is the middle child of five kids . two older brothers , two younger sisters .  POSITIVE TRAITS  :  gregarious  ,  vehement  ,  alluring  , venturesome  ,  empyrean , altruistic  . NEGATIVE TRAITS  :  obstinate  ,  reticent  ,  flighty  ,  temerarious  ,  capricious  .   AESTHETICS  :  the patter of raindrops against glass windows , the lingering scent cigarettes mixed with sweet perfume , drinking honey whiskey out of red solo cups ,  watching constellations with exhausted eyes , sneaking out by means of the vine trellis , leaving texts unanswered for days , a box of pageant awards hidden away in the closet , secrets that weigh more than gold on cherry stained lips , bending every rule just enough to get away with it , wrinkled white satin dresses and knee high ruffled socks , one too many bottomless mimosas at brunch , hearts drawn on fogged glass mirrors , lollipop stained lips . CHARACTER INSPO  :  brooke davis ( one tree hill ) , sarah cameron ( obx ) , lux lisbon ( the virgin suicides ) , jackie burkhart ( that 70s show ) . 

click here for a quick trip to her pinterest bc it describes her better than i ever could !!

( tw ; infidelity , death , drunk driving )

𝐈𝐈 .  𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝  :

       from the second she was born , georgia was treated as her mother’s little doll. diane had been ecstatic the day she found out she was with child for the second time , and even more ecstatic to find out she would be having their first little girl. she was dressed up in pink dresses and frilly socks , shown off to all of the women country or her mother’s weekly book club nights. she was the apple of her parent’s eyes , until she wasn’t. with brunette tresses  &  honey brown eyes , georgia was adored by everyone .... her beauty noted with claims that she would grow up to be a heartbreaker. her mother thrived on the compliments ; the subtle reminders to what her own childhood had been like. she had always planned on having a little girl that she could do pageants with just like she had with her own mother , and darling little georgia was perfect for that. at such a young age , georgia fell in love with the pageants. she thrived in the spotlight , with all eyes on her. and just like her mother , she won every competion she was entered in , until she didn’t. by the age of nine , georgia was starting to grow bored of the constant pageants and recitals , wanting to explore other interests. by that point , diane’s interest in her had worn off and moved onto the next child , a five year old with beautiful blonde curls and dimpled cheeks. georgia grew to know the subtle ache of rejection , and from that day forward , did everything she could to win back her mother’s affection. 

      from the outside , the calloway’s came off as the picture perfect family. but from the inside ? things were quite the opposite. georgia’s parents had unmeetable expectations for their children. get perfect grades , nothing below a b acceptable. sit down , look pretty , and shut up. don’t cause a scandal. their love was entirely conditional , only being shown when their was something they believed deserved rewarding. if you were to ask georgia , she wouldn’t be able to tell you the last time her mother actually hugged her for genuine reasons , and not to manipulate her into doing what she wanted. their father was rarely home , always away working or traveling for work. it became obvious that he was having an affair –– multiple affairs , but diane just looked the other way. the calloway family was very prominent in charleston , especially with her father being elected mayor , and their was nothing that diane would allow to ruin their image. even if it cost her own happiness.

       things got considerably more difficult around the calloway home when georgia was sixteen. her eldest brother had gone out for a night of fun with a group of friends , and made the fatal mistake of getting into a car with someone who was far too drunk to drive. georgia will never forget the conversation she overheard from the living room that night ; “ they were drunk. lost control of the vehicle. died on impact. ” it tore the family apart , dividing them even more than they already were. georgia couldn’t stand the silence of her home after her brother’s death. so she started partying constantly , going on 48 hour benders and staying out long past her curfew. she couldn’t even recognize herself in the mirror. gone was their innocent little girl , the apple of their eyes. even this couldn’t get the attention of her parents , they barely even noticed she was gone most of the time ; all they did was yell at her to not make them look like fools. 

        for her whole life , georgia followed her parent’s rules. after graduating high school , she was expected required to go college and get a degree , but georgia just couldn’t be bothered. this is the one time she went against her parent’s wishes. her fear of being stuck here forever , with the same life as her parents ; a husband that doesn’t love her and miserable children , won out over the need for approval from her parents. so she ran off to la , and landed herself on love island usa after being approached by a producer. georgia is reality tv gold , and quickly became a fan favorite. her most memorable moment being after she got her heart broken on live tv , when she purposely held up a lighter to set off fire alarms ; and then laid on the ground getting drenched by the sprinklers. so now she’s single again after being made a fool of in front of the world , back home with parents that hate her for bringing them unwanted attention , and stuck in the city she tried to get away from. but , she’s got a podcast. it’s called the bimbo summit and it’s pretty much the only thing bringing her joy right now. it started as a way for her to expose some behind the scenes shit from love island , but now it’s just for fun. 

𝐈𝐈𝐈 .  𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲  :

georgia is the girl that’s not easy to forget. she’s outgoing and amiable , but stubborn and not easy to push over. she was the one that moms would warn their kids to stay away from in high school ; she leaves a trail of destruction wherever she goes , no matter how hard she tries not to. she has the purest of intentions , genuinely just wanting love  &  happiness for herself and everyone around her , but it seems like the universe has different plans. 

she almost has this air of melancholy surrounding her ? like even when she’s happy and smiling , you can still sense it or see in her eyes that she’s not truly happy 

very charismatic , she’s a major people pleaser so she’ll put everyone else’s feelings before her own . she just wants everyone to be happy even if it means she ends up being miserable . 

georgia’s a selective oversharer . she’ll tell you all these useless little facts so you think she’s opening up when in reality you don’t truly know her because she refuses to talk about the things that matter . 

she’s trusting once she gets to know someone , but if you break that trust even once she’s not very quick to forgive. she’ll hear you out , but it’s unlikely that she’ll ever let you back in. 

she is completely unhinged. somehow picks the worst possible decision every time a problem arises. she’s not much of a logical thinker , and tends to let her heart make decisions for her. it’s gotten her into a world of trouble one too many times , and yet she’s never learnt her lesson. 

she’s also a serial dater. in her pea brain attention = love so she’ll flock to wherever she gets that. she likes the validation of relationships but hates the commitment , so pretty much all of her relationships end before they ever really start. 

don’t ever tell georgia she can’t do something. she’s a stubborn bitch and she’ll either do it immediately just to spite you or dedicate her entire life to proving you wrong and that’s not something anyone needs to deal with.

very opinionated and not afraid to make sure you know !! she will stand up for what she’s believes in without even a second of hesitation.

she would not be caught dead looking unpresentable .... she’ll do her hair and a full face of make up even if she’s waking up at 4am. and don’t even bother to ask her to go out after she’s done her skin care routine .... there’s no chance 

doesn’t really know how to handle her emotions ? so when she’s hurt she tends to just .... shut down & push everyone away 

she is a hardcore adrenaline junkie , she does so much stupid shit just for the thrill. making spontaneous and impulsive decisions is her favorite pass time.  she just holds a lot of emotion in , so anything that will release all of that or make her feel anything other than the things she’s avoiding are very much welcomed.

[nutty1005]

Xiao Zhan: It’s Your Turn

Translator’s Note: This article comes from VogueMe Magazine 2020 Feb Issue.

Currently, the trend in the entertainment business is to get famous overnight, the statistics dictate everything – a drama, a variety show, a song… all of which could give birth to a super idol, fame, commercial value and opportunities that come along with it. In 2019, the drama “The Untamed”, adapted from an internet novel, became this window of opportunity. This is the story of a young man who received the opportunity. And like other idols created by their era, his fanbase grew immensely, radiating throughout the youth, his name etched in time. All of these simply points to this – it’s now Xiao Zhan’s turn.

1

The summer of 2015, Xiao Zhan had not yet realized that he was going to job switch from the design firm opened by his teacher. The teacher did not feel so as well – as Xiao Zhan left for the talent search variety show, he told him, “Go play, come back to work once you’ve been eliminated.”

The show was called “X-FIRE”, and positions itself as a large scaled youth talent development inspirational show. During broadcast, the description says “16 secretly trained youths painstakingly selected from a few thousand 16-24 year olds”. At that time, Xiao Zhan was 23 years old – nearing the upper age limit.

Xiao Zhan just wanted to “play around a bit”. He felt that he would be just touring for a round, and he would be back after a week. As the former class Cultural Committee Member in his university, Xiao Zhan loved singing, won quite a few inter-school cultural activities awards, but never trained in dance-singing. Xiao Zhan, who graduated in graphic design, learnt drawing since young, but never thought of becoming an artist, because “it is hard to survive as an artist, you still need to earn a living”. He was willing to lead a simple life and go to work everyday, with a direct and clear life plan – as a graphic designer, do his work well, then open his own firm.

The summer 4 years later, the name “Xiao Zhan” meant a lot of different things – a member of a pop group, the lead actor of one of the most popular drama, the owner of a Weibo account with more than 22million followers, or as what Chinese entertainment business puts it – a “top traffic”. The topics and imagery surrounding him includes – Xiao Zhan’s looks, Xiao Zhan’s design talent, Xiao Zhan’s professionalism, Xiao Zhan’s role as Wei Wuxian…

And like the other idols who broke out in this era, he has his own set of records – moderators of Bilibili (a video hosting site in China) nagged that his drama fans uploaded so much of his videos that they “almost see him 800 times a day”, Xiao Zhan was jokingly proclaimed as “The Man who caused the Bloodbath of Bilibili”; he became the cover person of a magazine, and the two mobile sales platform app broke down consecutively on the day of the sales; his popularity in 2020 only got higher – on 9 Jan, according to Tian Mao statistics (TN: Taobao eShopping Mall), the Portrait magazine, where he was the cover person, sold out 100,000 copies in 3 seconds, overall sales exceeding 13million Chinese yuan, a poster was spread all around the internet with the accompanying text “a fandom that brought paper media back from its grave” – this is the Xiao Zhan statistics.

But different from the breakout idols, Xiao Zhan did not encounter major controversies (TN: This was published early Feb), and his career did not seem to go through much fluctuations. He never thought that he would be at this point – “Sometimes you’re not ready, but life has already pushed you to ahead. What you can do is to quickly keep up with the pace.” He is now at the stage where any of his actions are “studied under a magnifying glass”, but he feels that his stress levels are not as high as his previous few years, “the past few years, I had the drive but nowhere to use that, now I know how to work hard.”

2

During the initial auditions, Xiao Zhan still continued to work as per normal, go onstage – sing – leave, which was quite fun. After the selection down to 32 persons, he did not think much of it, and left his work to go to Beijing to practice the dance for the variety show. After the selection down to 16 persons, he practiced everything – dancing, vocals and flexibility training.

He did not think much of what would happen later. The winter in Beijing was especially cold, after the show recording, it would be around 3am or 4am, and there would be fans waiting for him outside of the studio – Xiao Zhan felt quite sorry for them, “All are young girls, it’s so cold and so dark.” He felt surreal having fans. When the 16 of them went to Zhejiang TV “Running 2016” New Year Eve performance, he saw the stage and felt that it was especially big and he was especially happy, and kept making sure he remembered the moves so as not to make any mistakes. After the final battle, Xiao Zhan’s team lost, but he and a few of his teammates were rescued by fan votes.

In 2016, Xiao Zhan debuted as part of X-Nine. During the signing of the contract, Xiao Zhan finally realized that he was going to make a career switch. “When you look at it now, 23 year old is also still a child, but no one took me as a child then.” – Xiao Zhan was the oldest in the group, he made his own decision to sign the contract, he thought that if it did not work out, he could go back to work, there was no need for him to paint himself into a corner.

3½ years after his debut, Artist Xiao Zhan still had to explain to interviewers his obsession with going to work. That day, he had a pimple on the left side of his face, and the makeup artist was applying essences on his face. The makeup room was simply a curtained area in the basement of the Art Gallery, full of passing staff, the editor was discussing the shooting schedule with his manager, the stylist was here delivering clothes, and he sat there with his eyes closed, allowing others to apply whatever it is on his face.

Xiao Zhan’s eyes are long, and also wide, he is very fair and his side profile is graceful and beautiful. With his looks, one would imagine that his personality would be cooler, more introvert, with mild melancholy, like those prince-like male leads in romantic dramas. But his personality does not really match his looks – he is serious, disciplined, he does not talk much initially, but overall he is a relaxed person, and quite funny occasionally.

“A lot of art students do not want to go to work,” the interviewer said. Xiao Zhan learnt drawing since young, some of his happiest moments in his childhood would be to win drawing awards or to have his works praised by his teachers, other unimportant happy moments includes had a good lunch, went to an amusement park, or had a liking for a girl in high school.

“They never went through the society school of hard knocks,” Xiao Zhan said. He described himself as someone who went through “quite a fair bit of knocking”. Since young, his father thought him to be independent, taught him budgeting, and told him stories about Bill Gates’s children… “I wanted to say, god, you’re not Bill Gates.” Despite all these, Xiao Zhan stopped using his parents’ money ever since his university graduation.

Xiao Zhan not only learnt drawing, he also learnt violin, go and Chinese calligraphy… pushed him to study in “National Key” middle school, “National Key” high school (TN: National Key refers to the top range of schools in China). He was an obedient child, but as a standard art student, Xiao Zhan was better in humanity subjects, and his math was not good, hence all the while he had always been the mid-bottom of the pack, which worried his family of 3 quite a fair bit.

Studying graphic design in university, Xiao Zhan felt that his university life was quite comfortable – everyday before class he would adjust himself a bit, although in the end it seemed like it did not work well after all, but at least his results were decent. Xiao Zhan emphasized that he was “definitely not the school hottie”. He was a good student. After he had learnt what the teachers taught, he started a studio on the side. The design studio would take on poster and logo design work; the photography studio only have 3 persons, Xiao Zhan did the photo taking, the other 2 did lighting. Before graduation he went to intern in a design firm, hence it was easy for him to find a job. Within a year of working, his monthly salary was around 4,000 to 5,000 Chinese Yuan, which would quite alright for Chongqing at that point in time.

Being part of a boy group releasing albums, shooting web dramas. The way to do things right was quite different from his previous job – his characterization in the group is a warm guy, although Xiao Zhan did not like characterization, he seriously fulfilled his role, and he was obedient. When someone in the variety show suggested that he lose some weight, he replied “I’m quite thin already I still have to lose weight”. As a commoner, Xiao Zhan was 183cm and 150lbs, his mother would always say he was too thin, and he felt so himself as well. That person showed him the film, “the camera lens is a really scary thing, I literally looked like a ball”. It was not easy for Xiao Zhan to lose weight, so he did it brutally. He was so hungry that he dreamed that he was eating. Xiao Zhan is now 127lbs, but this was not his thinnest.

“How was it like after debut?” “Unoccupied.” (TN: Xiao Zhan used the Chinese phrase “picking at his feet” to describe the state of emptiness.) Xiao Zhan’s words were paced and gentle, most were caught unawares by the sudden switch to casual humor, he might not be laughing, after others laughed he would continue his conversation seriously.

After his debut, he felt that he was freer than the times when he was still an intern. But he did not allow himself to stay free, he took vocal and dancing lessons, making sure that he could do sing-dancing to the best of his abilities. But he was still a bit lost – when he was still a designer, his future was clear and straight, but after his debut he had no clue where his future led to.

3

“I could count the number of dramas I’ve acted in with my fingers,” Xiao Zhan said. After which, he started counting them – “Battle through the Heavens”, “The Wolf”, “Oh! My Emperor”, “The Untamed”, “Joy of Life”, “Jade Dynasty”, “The Oath of Love”… the earliest work “Super Star Academy” was not counted – It was shot with his boy group, he was still fat, and he had no clue what he was doing.

Acting was his own idea. When he started auditioning he had not even attended any performance classes, he saw the director, took a piece of paper that indicated the scene and lines, and just went for it. Xiao Zhan did not feel that it was awkward, it was something he wanted to do, so he would do so without any inhibitions, and grasp every opportunity to do so. Singing was something that he always liked, his first single after debut was a song voted by his fans. With the stage and his fans, with attention, he would always want to do it better. Acting was something totally foreign to him.

The first turning point was “The Wolf”. When auditioning, within 2 hours, Xiao Zhan had tried many roles – the bounty hunter who was threatening someone, the prince whose brother was about to be executed… Xiao Zhan won the role of the bounty hunter – the 4th character on the character roll, Ji Chong. During the pre-shoot training he was still acting in “Battle through the Heavens”, daytime he would be shooting, nighttime he would be having performance classes. He did not feel it was tough then, as long as he had time to sleep. “Work is something I am willing to do, I will only feel very motivated, tomorrow must be done better than today.” Xiao Zhan liked Wei Wuxian, felt that he was vivid. When acting, during the first month he would be second guessing himself everyday, is the portrayal accurate? Would the audience accept it? Xiao Zhan checked with the director everyday. After a month, he stopped asking, he felt that he was Wei Wuxian. Dramas adapted from web novels are rarely positively received, his hopes for Wei Wuxian was that “I hope people would not dislike the character because of my acting”.

The summer of 2019, the drama aired, and the real turning point arrived.

Billions of fans, frequent trending topics on Weibo, appearing on multiple magazine covers and even causing the sales platform app to crash…

He is one of the few artists in Weibo that sets his account as “only posts in the past 6 months are viewable”, but it did not affect his popularity. His interaction with his fans are witty, the statistics are more than enough to attract attention. Last year on the Chinese Valentine’s Day (TN: 7th of the 7th Lunar month), he posted a photo informing his fans that he had put on weight, his pants folded up, legs in the swimming pool. One of his fans replied, “Fine, good to know that your leg hairs are doing fine.” This reply was boosted to the top with 190,000 likes.

“After watching ‘The Untamed’ and ‘Joy of Life’ and then meeting you, I feel like you are very similar to your performance method, calm. You are like an AI, whatever you do you’re especially precise.” “You’re highly professional.” The interviewer concluded.

At the start of the conversation, Xiao Zhan just finished an exterior photo shoot, we were both seated, leaning forward and warming hands above the radiator. He said, “Artist is just a job, I don’t like artists to place themselves on a pedestal, just like today you are the reporter who is interviewing me, today I am someone being interviewed. Cooperation, is just so that we can complete our jobs, coming in for the photo shoot is my job today, every single staff is also executing this job, it’s just the role is different.” Because he went through the society “school of hard knocks”, he respected and understood the truth behind teamwork.

As someone who once had to face clients, he knew how it felt as someone at the receiving end of endless unreasonable requests, and therefore he did not want to be someone like that. His standards for work is consistent – high efficiency, good results, everyone is happy, no one has to serve another person. Also “once I am done I will knock off, after I knock off no one should come find me, let me be alone.”

“Everyone works to fulfill their needs, they have entertainment after they knock off, they have freedom and privacy. As a public figure, artist, the product is yourself, the works are also yourself. You have to output materials, contribute works, and then gain the opportunity to grow, for higher social status, value and better lifestyle. For some people, besides their career, they also included their dreams,” the interviewer said.

“The understanding is very thorough. You win some, you lose some, after becoming a public figure it meant that there are multiple pairs of eyes staring at you, anything you do would be judged. Whether it is positive or misguided. Truth and falsehoods, isn’t this circle just like this? Whether the rumors or the gossip is true or false, who knows?” Xiao Zhan said.

4

On 5 Jan 2020, Xiao Zhan was working in a sculpture garden in Shanghai Songjiang, shooting a series of photographs to be the cover of VogueMe. It was cold, the gallery’s doors were open, and the wind blew from the first floor to the basement. Everyone was wearing winter jackets.

In the morning, beside the metal sculpture on the first floor, Xiao Zhan and model Chen Yu faced the camera separately. As the shutters rolled, they did not exchange glances or touch each other. As the photographer requested the model to sit on the ground, Xiao Zhan said his only sentence to her, “Careful your head.” and used his hands to shield her head from the protruding portion of the sculpture.

That day’s Weibo opening advertisement was also Xiao Zhan. As per the photographer’s request, he tilted his head up slightly and gave a cold gaze, or side glancing a faraway place, but also at the same time, he was smiling sweetly on mobile phone screens, promoting a series of instant food products.

In the afternoon, the team went to the exterior, to a concrete sculpture beside the gallery entrance, where he and the model stood in front of, facing the camera. The arm was on the model’s shoulders, and the two of them looked at the camera – he was even thinner than the model. In yet another set, the staff erected a ladder to one of the rooftop grass patches on the gallery buildings. An ice cold rock slab was selected, which the assistant padded using a jacket, and tested the light levels. After which, it was Xiao Zhan’s turn. He was wearing a red jacket with blue shirt, wearing a baseball cap, lying on his side on the rock slab, supporting his head with his arm. In between shoots, the assisted would hand him a long wool top, with deep blue diamond checks, quite thin. The top was flipped over, he slipped his hands into the sleeves to protect the front of his body, his assistant handed over another water bottle that contained warm mineral water to warm his hands. Xiao Zhan basically did not speak, he placed the bottle on his neck to gain some warmth.

An artist’s job, the profession included losing weight, staying hungry, freezing and staying up overnight, wearing winter clothes in summer is the norm, not drinking water prior to any shoots to prevent water bloating on screen… people who do those well may become famous, if they look good or are lucky they may become even more famous. Now Xiao Zhan has an opportunity, and like his previous job, he chose to be down-to-earth and do it well.

In the evening, the green screens were setup in basement 2 of the gallery. 17:44, Xiao Zhan was in position, his manager reminded the stylist to take note of the clothes’ proportion – “The sweater is too long.” Hence, the sweater was folded up. After the camera assistant brought down the Apple machines, the cameraman adjusted his machines, and started shooting the video. Quite a few scenes were done in one take, in the middle there was a break, the manager and the camera crew were discussing camera positions. This was the 10th hour of the shoot, Xiao Zhan sat behind the table, laid his head on a prop gift box and waited quietly – we could not see if he was tired or not.

The shoot ended, and the sky was already dark. Xiao Zhan has not yet knocked off. The media had ended their work, the manager was darting around, arranging for Xiao Zhan to change out and get on his car, to rush to his rehearsal that night – they were already behind schedule. Both teams bid their farewell, Xiao Zhan warm and gentle, still unclear whether he was tired. After less than an hour’s journey, he would need to go onstage to sing, and thereafter, his work would be to complete the costume testing of 20 different sets of clothes.

The Initial Cold

The time set for the shoot was 9am, Xiao Zhan arrived at the rural set at 8.30am. His overnight flight arrived only the day before, meeting Xiao Zhan on the cold morning of a deep southern winter, his spirits looked great, his face having the same kindness as usual. The endless job schedules taught him how to conserve his energy – no casual conversation, not even to his staff; take every opportunity to eat or rest; absolutely no procrastination, ensure efficiency, do his best to accommodate and complete every job. He is a highly disciplined and professional artist.

In this shoot, the warm, gentle smiles have been replaced by cold, sharp glares, the metal and concrete sculptures gave him a few minutes of inner emotions and narrative, his scenes with the model was almost like he was acting in the set of “Last Year at Marienbad”. Xiao Zhan displayed emotions and charm very different from usual self – this is the power of an actor. The darker filters and monochrome imagery restored the caution that the youth of his age would have, it was the concealed feelings of a sunny boy. With such an idol, not only he can warm your hearts, there are still much to expect from him.

[smol-and-grumpy]

Something Just Like This - CH03

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester, mobster boss. He’s a little cocky, a lot ruthless and more often than not, short tempered. But he’s also, Dean Winchester, a war veteran and hero who suffers under a shit ton of PTS. He met her in a bar and thinks it’s fate that brought her to him. Little does he know why she’s really here.

Warnings: I don’t even bother with the warnings because lol, there’s none. Maybe a little feeling? I dunno.

WC: 3564

SERIES MASTERLIST

The drive back is dragging and Dean feels that the alcohol in his bloodstream did nothing to help him clear his head or calm him down. If anything, it just leaves him more agitated. 

He dreads going back. Dreads having to face his responsibility because more than anything, he wants to shut himself in his room and not want to deal with all the problems he has to face lately.

Fergus MacLeod, the mayor of the city called in earlier today, said that he’d be at Sam’s law firm opening, told Dean that he hoped that there would be lots of women too. Crowley’s been a lover of the ladies, and Dean knows that he needs Crowley on his side. And Dean hates that, hates that he’s being played like a puppet, his strings held together by a mayor who has more skeletons in the closet than Dean does and yet, he can’t expose him because Dean and his men would go down with him.

Maybe that’s why he decided to go to the Roadhouse for a drink. But who is he kidding, because in reality he went in to see her. 

Now he’s on the way back when all he wants is to have stayed longer. 

He wishes he could turn back time, go back to sitting at the bar and actually talking to Y/N. It took him what? Almost two hours to summon his courage to talk to her? What the fuck is wrong with him? He doesn’t even know himself anymore. He’s usually much smoother than that.

Sure enough, as soon as he walks down the winding stairs to the library of the bunker, Sam’s already on his case.  

“Where have you been?” Sam asks when Dean steps off the last step, Dean’s one foot shy from touching the ground.

The bunker has been their HQ since the building that used to house their HQ blew up with their dad still in it. Sam had found this place, something to do with his love for books and shit. Dean doesn’t really understand, but it’s a good place, secluded, nobody around, nobody could know what’s going on in here. And it has some bedrooms for when they’re too lazy to go home. Which, lately, happens more often than not, Dean reckons. 

“Jeez, mom, I went and had a drink, alright,” Dean scoffs and sits down at the table, running his hand through his hair, ruffling it up in the process, “Didn’t know that I have to report my every fucking move to you.” 

“You went to the Roadhouse?” Sam raises an eyebrow in question as he shuffles through the stack of papers laid out before him and Dean looks at him, his eyebrows pulled together. “Called Ellen,” Sam shrugs. 

Dean breathes out. I need a fucking drink, he thinks, but of course he knows that he can’t, he doesn’t want Sam to worry about his drinking habit too much. Sam would go all wise-ass on him, telling him that he should fucking talk more instead of using alcohol as his coping mechanism because, apparently, that is not healthy. Dean’s sick of hearing it. 

“Don’t get why you always go there. It’s an hour out! We have a couple of good bars here too, you know that right? Not that you should be drinking anyway, but you do know that you even own some of the bars?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean’s head hurts from rolling his eyes. 

“You took the Impala?”

“Of course I took my Baby,” Dean’s eyes narrow as he looks at Sam. He knows where this is going. Still, he can’t sit on his damn mouth and challenges his brother, “Why? Am I not allowed to take my own car and go have a fucking drink on my fucking own?”

Sam’s face softens up. He knows that Dean’s aggression is not really directed at him. Dean’s frustrated and Sam gets that, “We have a garage full of great bulletproof SUVs. Just saying,”

“Bulletproof.” Dean snorts.

“Yeah,” Sam nods, “You never know Dean. We don’t know about Lucifer. Maybe he’s butthurt and thinks that if he kills you, he can come back. For all I know, he could have a bullet with your name on it. No, I’m pretty sure he has a bullet with your name on it!” 

“Bullets ain’t killing me, Sam.” Dean sighs. 

“Oh, just because you were lucky in Afghanistan you think you’d be lucky here?” Sam slams in fits on the table and Dean didn’t spare a glance, “Newsflash Dean, you’re not immortal!”

There’s footsteps coming in from the kitchen and Dean turns to look at the source, thankful for whoever is here with them because then they could maybe change the subject.

Cas appears with a mug of coffee in his hand. “Fucking finally the boss graces us with his presence.” 

Dean can’t help but roll his eyes again, and thinks that he really needs a fucking drink but instead of drinking, he thinks that he can maybe distract himself with work, “So, what’s on the schedule? When does the cargo arrive?”

He watches Cas blow at the coffee before the man takes a sip and swallows, “2AM, you’re in?” 

“Why shouldn’t I be in?” Dean asks, a little hurt, a lot offended.

“Well, last time you drank yourself into a coma.” Cas shrugs and Dean couldn’t help but notice Sam’s side eyes. 

Yeah, that might have been true. He’s under a lot of pressure since there’s been news that Lucifer now has his own army of people who could make Dean’s life a living hell. 

Lucifer was his Dad’s right hand man. Well, before Dean came back and took over, he was even running the fucking joint with Sam. He was butthurt when Dean came back and instead of going back to being just a right hand man, Lucifer decided to leave and set up something on his own. He’s since been manipulating and stealing from Dean and Dean can’t say that he’s fucking thrilled about that.

“That was one fucking time, Cas!” Dean huffs, rubbing over his scruff and darts his tongue out to wet his lips, “2AM. I’m coming with you.”

      Ellen takes the cash out of the register and Y/N notices her doing that very thing a couple of times during the night. Ellen, apparently, still has some trust issues but can Y/N really blame her? 

No, she really can’t. She wouldn’t trust someone who’s only been working here for four days with the money, too. She wonders what made Jo leave, thinks that it maybe has something to do with the people who frequented the bar. 

Although Y/N’s only been here for four days, she’s been grabbed and groped by so many greasy fingers that she really had to teach someone a lesson for the others to stop making the same mistake. She thought that Ellen would be angry at her for causing a scene with blood spattered on the dirty wooden floor, and a patron suffering from a broken jaw, but Ellen just laughed it off and placed her hand on Y/N’s shoulder, “You’re doing great.” She said and Y/N can’t say that she wasn’t proud to hear that.

Yeah, she thinks, I can manage here. Besides, there are some really great guys and she gets so much information on the business that the Winchesters are running, even if it’s from hearsay. 

  *

 It’s almost 4AM and the Roadhouse is empty with only Ash who’s laying passed out on the pool table. The sight’s not unusual, though. He’s done that four nights in a row now and Y/N thinks that it might be his MO. I’ll wake him up when I’m finished, she thinks and continues to fill the bucket to sweep the floor. 

She’s in the middle of sweeping in the corner of the bar — where it strangely stinks of piss — when she hears the door opening and closing. She stops to sweep mid-motion and tilts her head to the door, her mind already thinking about how she could fend off the attacker, because, let’s be real, nothing good happens after 4AM, right? The broom in her hand can be a deadly weapon and she grips onto it a little tighter.

Breathing out a relief, she smiles when she sees that she doesn’t really have to fend for her life. “We’re closed.” She says simply.

Dean runs his hand through his hair and sighs, he rubs over his jaw and opens his mouth to say something but he doesn’t. Instead, he looks around and walks behind the bar to retrieve a bottle of whiskey out of the pantry. She didn’t even know Ellen kept any whiskey there.

Dean takes a tumbler from the top shelf and looks back at her, “I just need a drink.” 

Y/N stops sweeping and looks at him puzzled. She watches as he pours himself a finger and tips the glass back, downing the shot in one go. He shakes his head at the burn and sets the glass down to fill it some more.

She abandons the cleaning, takes a couple of steps towards the bar and Dean raises his eyebrows in question when she approaches. He grins suddenly, bright and wide, and turns around to get another glass, “Come on, drink with me.” 

“I’m working,” She says and is a little embarrassed at how it might have sounded. But the fact is, that she never drinks when she’s working, and she isn’t really keen on changing that, even if she’s undercover. 

Dean chuckles lightly, “You’re really a good girl, aren’t you?” He says with a smirk, and she doesn’t know if he’s making fun of her but the look he gives her doesn’t seem like he’s joking. It’s more like some kind of statement. A fact. And also, it’s true. 

He waits for her signal, the bottle tipped to the glass, waiting to somehow hear an ‘okay’ before he would pour it but he doesn’t press any further. The grin is still on his face, like he knows that she’ll say ‘yes’ and she hates him for knowing it. Hates, how he can read her mind.

Dean winks at her before he pours it and she takes the glass as he laughs. It’s loud, sharp, his deep voice drumming in the silence of the bar. He walks out from behind the counter and sits on the bar stool. The same one he sat in earlier.

“Cheers,” He says and clinked his glass to hers.

“Cheers,” She echoes him, and takes a sip of the brown liquid, shakes her head and squints her eyes through the burn which made Dean laugh out loud. 

“I’m sorry,” Dean says then, “For bursting in. Didn’t know where else I should go, and I needed a drink.” 

She hops from the stool and takes another sip before she walks back to her broom, “That’s alright. I just need to finish so I can go home. Guess Ellen doesn’t mind you’re here?” 

“Well, I don’t know,” Dean shrugs, stands up and takes off his jacket, “Where is she anyway?”

“Counting money in the back. Told me to close up.” 

    They had been stood up. Cas and him were waiting but the driver never arrived. Dean guesses that something has happened. Maybe Lucifer got wind. Someone has got some fucking explaining to do, because Dean’s sure that there’s a fucking rat amongst his men. And he hates that, hates being played. He’s the one who does the playing, and it should never be the other way around. 

He let Cas track the vehicle with GPS and thought that he needed a goddamn drink to deal with all this. 

Before Dean even knew where he’s going, he was driving towards the Roadhouse and he doesn’t even know if it was still open, doesn’t know if she’d still be there, but he just needs fucking something to get him over the bad night. Something to calm his fucking nerves.

He ignored the Closed sign on the door, was damn happy that the door was still unlocked and when he stepped in, he thought that he made a mistake but he couldn’t back out now. She’d already seen him. So, forward he went. Even though he knew that he was making a fool out of himself.

Dean ignored her at first, ignored the beating of his heart when he heard her voice and went straight for the pantry. 

And now he’s here, taking off his jacket and tie and rolling back his sleeves because he’s holding her back from work and the least he can do is lending her a hand.

She’s a good girl, he can see. Wonders if she’s ever done anything illegal, wonders if she’d be appalled knowing he’s done something illegal — still does, every fucking day. And he really wonders how a good fucking girl ends up here at the Roadhouse. 

He walks over to her, holding a hand out and she’s reluctant at first but then hands the broom over to him with a shy smile on her face. 

“Where were you? That corner there?” Dean is pointing his chin to a corner and walks over, the stench of piss penetrates his nostrils the closer he gets, “Woah, tell Ellen to do something about it. Build another fucking toilet or something!” 

He hears her giggle behind him as he scrubs away at the floor, thinking that it’s a fucking beautiful sound. 

    Y/N wonders why Dean does it. A man with his power, with his money, is cleaning off piss from the floor of a dingy bar. She can’t help but giggle at the image in front of her. 

Standing back, she watches, watches his muscled backside moving, watches the tense in his forearm. Watches the firm ass in his dress pants, and she feels blood rushing up to her cheeks. 

Fuck. She should not be thinking that about someone she’s paid to get close to. Because after all, that’s the truth and her real job. She’s paid to find out more about him. And somehow, she thinks, she might find out more about Dean than she sets herself out to. If he’d let her, that is. But right now, she thinks that she’s doing quite alright.

When Dean finishes, his face beams with pride. “So, can we get back to that drink?” He asks, when she takes the bucket from him and rolls it towards the sink attached to the bar. 

She lifts it up and empties the dirty water into it while Dean sits back on his bar stool and watches her with some kind of admiration. Why? Did he really think that she couldn’t lift a fucking bucket of water? It’s not that hard. She went through worse in training. 

Y/N wipes at the counter afterwards, sipping away at her drink while Dean pours himself another. It’s his..what? Fifth? Sixth? Not that she’s counting or anything, but he should really not be doing any driving in the near future. 

When she finishes wiping down the counter top, she washes her hand, and she steps back behind the counter opposite of Dean. 

“You should really drink up so I can go home and shower the stink of the night off me,” She’s feeling a bit woozy in the head, the whiskey clearly fucked up her brain because how else could she explain what she just said. She’s normally not the one to reveal too much, but also she’s usually not the one who drinks, so there’s that. Normally she’d have a beer or a glass of wine in the span of an hour or so, her body can take that, but not whiskey. She’s not made for drinking too much alcohol, she guesses. 

“Now that’s an image that I’ll never get out of my head,” He says easy, his eyes looking straight at her and there’s a smirk. 

He teases her, she thinks, right?  

“I take it, it’s my cue to go,” He clears his throat, tips the glass to his lips and throws his head back. His Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows, and she bites down on her bottom lip, thinks how nice his throat looks. 

Ugh.

“I’m sorry but I’m really tired,” She apologizes and Dean waves her off.

“It’s my fault. I kept you from going home. So,” He says, putting his jacket back on, “Say, do you want to wake up Ash or shall I?” 

“Shit, Ash.” 

“Let me,” Dean smiles, walking back behind the bar and takes a pint from the stack, fills it at the tap with cold water. He sticks his tongue out, resting it at the corner of his lips while he laughs to himself and she thinks that it’s fucking cute, even though she should not be thinking that. At all.

Dean winks before he walks over to the pool table, “Fire! Fire!” Dean yells, his voice rough and loud as he empties the pint on Ash’s face, making the other man jolt up with a scream. 

They were both laughing and Dean tips his head back, his hand hugging his belly. 

“What the fuck, Dean!” Ash is heard saying as he hops off the table, “Y/N! You let him do that to me? Really? And I really liked you!”

“I’m sorry!” She says, still laughing hard. 

Dean grabs Ash around his shoulders and walks him to the back of the bar, where Ash has a room. “Let’s get you to bed, buddy. And hey, I need you to get back to Cas as soon as you’re sober, alright?” Dean winks at her before setting the glass back on the counter and continues to walk Ash to the back door. “Good night!” He yells before Ash mumbled some curse words and Dean returns back to the bar counter. 

So, Ash is working for him too? She wonders what he’s doing. She should be able to find a night where Ash’s passed out so she could sneak into his room. 

Dean walks to the exit and holds the door open, looking back at her, “You coming?” 

“What.. oh, yeah, yeah.” She loses her apron, grabs her bag from under the sink, switches off the light at the main switch and hurries to Dean.

He steps aside to let her lock up. 

“I’ll walk you to the car,” He says and she can see that Dean has parked right at the front of the bar while she parked it way in the back. 

She finds it a little amusing that he thinks that she needs to be protected. Wonders, what he would think if he knew who she really was.

“You’re not going to drive, are you?” She asks as they arrive at her car, and she can’t believe why she asked, why she even cares.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about that.” He’s grinning, amused that she’s worried. 

“I mean, I could drive you, just tell me where.” 

Dean huffs out a laugh, “If I tell you where I live, I’d have to kill you.” 

“Oh.” 

He flinches, thinking she didn’t get the joke but she did. She’s just bummed that he won’t let her find out where he really lives because that would make her stay here so much shorter, it would be over so quick and she partly doesn’t really know if she’d want that. 

“I’m joking, it’s a joke, you know… if I tell you I have to kill you? You get it?” He tries to explain and she laughs, because yeah, she has to, hopes he doesn’t notice that it’s somewhat fake. 

“Anyway, thanks.” She says and unlocks her car.

Dean’s still standing there. Unmoved. It’s as if he wants to say something. She waits but when Dean doesn’t make an effort of saying anything, she opens the door to her car. 

“Y/N?” 

“Yeah?” She has to hold back her grin. 

“Sam, my brother, is having a party. He’s opening his own law firm and I don’t even know if you have dresses or if you’d be interested but,” Y/N can see him taking a deep breath, as if it’s really hard for him to say those things, “I was wondering if you would want to come?”

“Uh.. I don’t know? Um...yeah, why not?” 

“Great,” He smiles so bright and wide and his chest heaves, as he stands just a little straighter, “I’ll let you know the details as soon as he figures it out.” 

“Like, do I really need to wear a dress?” She asks, because she hasn’t worn a dress in years and she doesn’t even know if the ones she has would still fit her. 

“Don’t worry about that,” He grins and it’s that cocky grin again. Something she can’t really read. It’s as if he’s planning something but she doesn’t quite know what, “Right, I don’t wanna hold you up from your shower.”

Dean steps back, and Y/N nods as she gets into the car. He waits for her to settle, his hand on the door of her car. 

“I just wanna add that you’ve brightened up my night, Y/N. Thanks for that.” There’s a smile on the corner of his lips when he closes the car door for her.

CH.04

[missanthropicprinciple]

The monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey? Nope. Finally caved and got internet at my apartment. 

    It’s been a long time coming. For the last few years I could not afford another monthly payment even when I was working three jobs below minimum wage for 35 hours a week. I would just use internet at school, occasionally use hotspot data in an emergency, and just live off my phone the rest of the time. (I remember literally watching most of The Witcher from my phone as I ate dinner on my couch before I got a kitchen table.) But after grad school I started using Xfinity WiFi on-demand as much as I could and while it wasn’t totally cheap, I could use it when I needed it, and not get a contract or pay for it when I would visit my mom for several days of the week. So of course, they cut off on-demand because people were using multiple email accounts to get several complimentary hours a week instead of one. Xfinity could have just cut off the complimentary passes but they just cut the whole offer list which meant that people like me who are below the U.S. poverty line had to either do without internet or pick a contract. Thankfully they offer “pay as you go,” which is kind of the same thing as on-demand just without the lower tier options. Down side is I had to fork over a one-time fee of $35 for a modem kit in addition to the $45 for the month. It is what it is. 

    It took me a while to even decide to do this but I just had to bite the bullet and do it so I could get my life back, whatever that is. I’ve been staying with my mom a lot since Christmas so I haven’t really been able to set it up. I was going to wait until the perfect time to get it but there is no perfect time so I just ordered it one day. If you’ve been following my personal saga (like 3 people read this haha), you’ll know that they notified me it was on its way after it had been delivered but the package wasn’t stollen so that was good. I set it up but it didn’t work so I had to phone the help line. Luckily, I got a very nice, patient lady who activated the account/internet for me. Not 100% sure what the problem was. 

    Now to actually get back to my place. Mom had a painter in so I’ve more or less had to be here in case I was needed, etc. No real reason at all really other than just moving things. If I had my license I could just come and go as I please, get groceries without her breathing down my neck, take stuff to my apartment, move freely back and forth. But as it is I have to be in one place or another until she can drive me. Another factor is the weather. It’s currently sub-zero up north and even though the roads are safe to drive on, if the SUV breaks down it could be dangerous. The chances of that happening are very low but my mom doesn’t want to go out in it because she’s overly concerned about driving in it. If I bring it up I’ll just get verbally abused. So I have to wait. I have to wait for the weather to “warm up” to the 30sF, and I have to wait for the perfect moment to ask to go to the bank and grocery shopping. I was hoping to get back to my place tomorrow but I don’t think that will happen. 

    Everything seems to be in flux at the moment. I’ve been feeling like a hamster trapped in a maze lately so I’ve been clearing out as much of the office and spare room as I can, moving books and throwing junk away. It’s a never-ending task and instead of staying positive I hear constant negative comments like, “I don’t know HOW were’e EVER going to get those rooms cleared up.” Well, there is nothing I can say to that other than it will happen, and I’m working on it. Needless to say, tensions have been running high and I’ve been near the edge of a nervous breakdown, trapped, unable to escape, my inner self retreating somewhere inside. 

    I haven’t been able to work on my novel draft or devote enough time to planning lessons for my one pupil. I have little concentration until after midnight when I can retreat to my room knowing I won’t be interrupted, criticized, recruited, or tormented by somewhat disturbing behavior. I’ve obsessively thrown myself into film research instead of exercising, setting homework, or watching fun films. I can’t even listen to the news on my headphones without having to pause every 30 seconds to say, “what?” as I take my earbuds out. So of course, most nights, like tonight, it’s not night at all but nearly 4am. My room is silent and I have peace and quiet; the only noise is my humidifier and my typing. I am so tired and I want to sleep but I can’t give up this time to just be. And the nights I got to bed earlier I just can’t get to sleep before 2 or 3am. I get up at noon or 1pm most days now. Being back home as destroyed what tenuous grasp on a sleep schedule I had. I used to go to bed before 1am almost every night and wake up before 9am. I mentioned this and she basically said she didn’t believe me. I am exhausted. 

    The explosive anger, defensiveness, cruelty, gaslighting, illogical and irrational statements, and negativity is destroying me. So I wait until I can get my routine back that I fought so hard to get in August 2020. And I know that people judge why I haven’t “moved back” to my own place (it’s not “moving back” because I never moved out of my apartment) but I have real logistical and physical limitations that prevent me from doing what I need to do. And even if I do have a fleeting chance maybe one day out of seven I can’t take it because I am too emotionally exhausted. Regardless of what some psychiatrists may tell you, emotional exhaustion is a real symptom of CPTSD and it’s debilitating. Despite all of this, I am happy I have an internet option now, and I can’t wait to get back to my routine as soon as I can! 

[wild-springflower]

Old Enough to Know I'll End Up Dying (It's Torture to Love You)

Hoooo boy has it been a while. I actually honestly forgot that I posted this on here... the best place to get reliable for any of my works would be on my AO3, for which I shall provide a link!

But sorry this took so long, here is chapter 3! 

Pt 1

He wanted to be angry, he really really wanted to be angry. But there would be a time and a place for anger, the hospital room with Christopher sat atop his lap and gripping his shirt like a lifeline was neither of them.

It had been almost five days, and Buck had scarcely left the hospital room. The others tried to get him to leave, but aside from watching Christopher, Buck had nothing else to do with his time. And he refused to leave Eddie alone. The others still had their job to do, Buck had no obligations, nowhere to be. Except by the side of a hospital bed.

Occasionally Eddie would show signs of stirring, but so far it had all been false hope, little mumbled words, shifting under the bedsheets. He hadn’t actually opened his eyes. And each time Buck felt his spirits drop a little more, his heart sink a little lower. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be able to stand it, how many more times he’d be able to reassure Christopher that everything was going to be okay.

Day six they decided it was time for Christopher to go back to school; even if he wouldn’t be able to concentrate, sitting in the hospital or at home all day wasn’t doing him any good and he’d already missed too much. Although the staff was being very understanding. Perhaps more understanding than they had a right to be, seeing as how Buck had implied the injury was sustained while Eddie was on the job.

Day nine Bobby had visited the hospital and practically forced Buck to leave, promising he would stay and call him immediately if anything changed. So he and Christopher spent the day playing with Legos and listening to cartoons on the tv. The story they’d started what felt like years ago sat untouched by Christopher’s bed, neither of them having the heart to continue it. Buck thought Christopher was maybe leaving it until Eddie could come home, until things could go back to normal. Whatever the reasoning was, Buck respected the kid’s decision and didn’t push him on it.

The morning of day ten was when Buck felt the last bits of himself shatter. The two of them had fallen asleep on the couch, it wasn’t always the most comfortable place to sleep but it was easier for the both of them if they were together, and Buck didn’t feel comfortable climbing into Eddie’s bed.

Around 4am Christopher woke up crying, as he had almost every night since the incident.

“Hey, hey buddy, it’s okay.” Buck soothed as he attempted to detangle himself from their mass of blankets.

“Excepts it’s no-not, i-is it?” Christopher hiccupped. “W-we don’t even-even know i-i-if daddy’s gonna wa-wake up. Do we?”

Bucks’ breath escaped in one large rush, and he felt like he’d been sucker punched in the solar plexus. Before he could reign his emotions in there were tears streaking down his cheeks. “Hey no, we can’t think like that.” He whispered wetly, pulling Christopher in for a tight embrace.

“What’s gonna happen if daddy doesn’t wake up?” Christopher asked, his voice a little steadier although Buck could still feel tears soaking into his shirt.

Buck bit his lip, “I don’t know.” He said.

Christopher’s grip tightened on his collar, and he sniffled, breath stuttering. “Will- will th-they take m-me away? I don’t wanna le-lea-ave you.”

“No, no baby no.” Buck pulled back, large hands clasping Christopher’s shoulders tightly. He stared into Christopher’s eyes, waiting until Christopher looked back before he spoke again, maybe the most serious he had ever been in his entire life. “No matter what happens they are not taking you away from me. I will never let anyone take you away from me okay? I promise.”

Christopher nodded, ducking back against his chest and hugging him tightly.

Buck sat for a moment, breathing deeply, almost unable to process the conversation they’d just had. It wasn’t right, it shouldn’t have ever had to happen. And again, Buck felt anger boiling in his stomach. With a deep sigh Buck kissed Christopher’s head and squeezed him just a little tighter in his arms, blinking up at the ceiling to try and stop more tears from breaking past the dam.

Normal visiting hours at the hospital didn’t start until 10, but they’d been given special permission to visit whenever they felt the need to, Buck was pretty sure Bobby had done some sweet talking, and Christopher’s puppy-dog eyes had certainly not hindered the process. Still, he figured a full breakfast before they left was a good idea, seeing as how the food at the hospital was hard to stomach on a good day. Needless to say, Buck hadn’t had a good day in quite a while.

Eggs were the easiest thing to make, and the only thing he’d really learned to perfect before Bobby had gotten too busy to continue their cooking lessons, Buck had always meant to ask when they could start them up again, but something always seemed to get in the way.

The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon when Christopher started pushing his food around on his plate, having only eaten a couple bites.

“Not hungry?” Buck asked.

Christopher just shook his head, staring sadly at the table.

“How about you take a couple more bites and then we’ll head out, sound good?”

Christopher perked up at that, “To the hospital?” He said softly.

“Yeah, but you have to eat a little more food, deal?” Buck felt slightly hypocritical as the last thing he wanted to do was shovel more food into his mouth, but he knew the both of them had to keep their health up for when Eddie was finally better.

“Deal!”

A little over an hour later found the two of them pulling up to the still fairly empty hospital parking lot and given the time of day it wasn’t hard to find a parking spot near the door. Sometimes Buck would grab the handicap pass, but he never liked to leave it in his car. It felt too permanent, less like he was watching Christopher for an extended period of time and more like things were changing. And he was not ready for things to change.

The nurses on their floor were all familiar with them by now, and all adored Christopher, so it was easy to distract him when he saw the doctor standing in Eddie’s room.

“Hey buddy,” Buck whispered, kneeling down so he was closer to the kid’s height. “How about you show Claire your drawings you made real quick.”

Claire gave him a gentle nod before also kneeling by Chris, “I would love to see your drawings buddy!”

Buck stood, mouthed a ‘thank you’ before he jogged over to his friends’ room. “Hey doc, is something wrong?”

Sophia had long brown hair that she always kept pulled back in a bun and smart green eyes that spoke of years of study, she was the best doctor in the hospital for their current predicament, and Buck found he trusted her easily. “No, nothing’s wrong, I was just checking the readouts. You’re here early.”

Buck shrugged sheepishly, “Couldn’t really stay distracted at home.”

“Listen, Buck, I know that this is hard for you. But this isn’t unusual for the type of injury sustained. Right now, just try not to worry. And, if anything changes, you will be the first to know. And we will cross that bridge if we get to it but worrying too much about what-ifs is just going to drive you crazy. Okay?”

Buck nodded, “I’ll try my best.” He smiled weakly.

Sophia gave a sad smile in response, “I’ll see you later.”

Buck watched her leave, his heart filling with warmth as she stopped to say hello to Christopher; he was always amazed with the way that kid could brighten anyone’s day, even when he was living a nightmare.

But his attention quickly turned back to the bed, and all the beeping machines. With his hands in his pockets Buck stepped closer and stared down at the face he was sure he had memorized. “You need to wake up.” He said.

“Hi daddy!” Christopher called from the doorway, announcing himself before he fully made it to the bed. It allowed Buck half a second to wipe away any stray tears and school his features.

“Come here buddy,” Buck hoisted Christopher onto his lap in the chair next to Eddie’s bed, “how about you tell your dad about the pictures you drew?”

Christopher nodded enthusiastically, pulling one drawing out from the small pile he’d brought with. “This one is us, and we’re all playing video games together.” He paused to pull a second picture on top, “And here we’re at the dog park, I know you said we can’t get a dog of our own, so I thought we could go there and just pet some!”

Buck chuckled at that, smiling at the drawing of a little Christopher petting what was potentially a black lab. “That looks really good bud!”

Christopher flashed a grin up at him before moving on to his next drawing. “And this is all of us at the beach. It’s still a little scary to be close to, but I know you like the beach daddy, so I thought I could be brave for you when you wake up and we can all go. As long as Bucky feels safe there too.”

Buck was saved from having to try and force his choked-up throat to function by a knock against the door.

Christopher turned around and smiled broadly, “Carla!” He called happily.

“Hello sweetie, how are you?”

Chris shrugged, “Alright.” He said a little more somberly. The shift made Buck’s heart ache.

“Come here.” Carla leaned down and pulled Chris into a quick hug, before her attention turned to Buck. “And you, how’s my other sweetie?”

Buck shook his head, but the affection made him smile, “I’m okay. Hey buddy, Carla’s gonna take you out for a bit today.” He leaned in closer with a smirk and a wink in the caretaker’s direction, “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty sure you can convince her to buy you ice cream if you ask really nicely.”

The thought at least made Christopher smile a little wider, and he nodded his head before wrapping his arms around Buck’s neck. “We can come back later?” He whispered in Buck’s ear.

“Yeah of course buddy, I’ll be here.” Buck promised, squeezing his arms around the small frame. “Say bye to your dad okay?”

“Can I hug him?”

“Course.” Buck stood and helped Christopher maneuver over to the bed.

It was a little clumsy, but Chris was able to put his arms over Eddie’s chest without touching any of the wires, “I love you daddy.” He said, before allowing Buck to set him on his feet.

It took less than three seconds after he was left alone in the room for Buck to break, broken sobs pulled from his lungs as his cheeks streaked with tears. “God, Eddie I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

Buck sniffed, covering his eyes with his hands and trying to get his emotions under control. He was just glad he was alone in the room. “Shit.” He cursed with an exhausted sigh. He once again looked at Eddie’s slack face, and barely resisted the urge to brush his fingers along the bruised cheek. “I need you to be okay.” He said, because Buck knew one thing for certain; if Eddie wasn’t okay, he didn’t know if he could ever get over it.

The minutes ticked by one at a time the same way they always did, each one feeling longer than the last. Eventually Buck gave into temptation and laid his head against the slightly scratchy bed sheets he’d grown all too accustomed to during his own extended stays in the hospital. His eyes slipped closed and he was asleep not long after.

He awoke an undetermined amount of time later to a foreign yet strangely familiar sound.

Buck sighed tiredly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and sitting up to glance around the room in search of the source of the noise that had awoken him from his impromptu nap. His heart stuttered to a screeching halt, and all thoughts of sleep vanished immediately as he saw Eddie shifting on the bed.

Buck waited with bated breath for any sign that he wasn’t going crazy, and sure enough a couple seconds later Eddie’s face scrunched up and he groaned. Or maybe it was closer to a grunt. Whatever it was, it was new.

“Eddie?” Buck called, his voice fluttering with nervous excitement.

Eddie’s head shifted towards his voice and Buck felt his hands start to shake, he was getting a little lightheaded.

“Eddie, come on buddy, open your eyes for me.” He licked his lips, praying, “Please.”

The seconds once again felt like they were taking hours to slip by, but in actuality it didn’t take all that long for Buck’s pleas to be heard, and subsequently answered as Eddie forced his heavy eyelids open.

Concern seemed to flash briefly through those eyes as they looked at where Buck was standing over him, but any other emotions were quickly clouded by confusion. “Wha-?”

Buck felt himself sag in relief, a breathless laugh that probably bordered on manic escaping past his lips. “Oh, holy shit, Eddie. Oh my god it is good to hear your voice man.” He sighed.

“What’s happening?”

Eddie’s voice made Buck wince in sympathy, certain it hurt worse to talk than it did for him to hear it. “We can talk about it later okay? I’m gonna go get your doctor.”

And with one last glance and barely contained smile Buck turned and left the room, for the first time feeling a slight lift in his step and the budding hope that maybe, just maybe, things were finally going to be able to settle down for a while.  

If only he knew how wrong he was.

[bbygrvr]

⌠ DEV PATEL, 32, MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, BOBBY GROVER! originally hailing from BLACKTHORNE, this alum specializes in DRIVER’S ED. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a selfie with a no loitering sign, days old take-out, the crash of shattered glass).  it’s the (aries)’s birthday on 06/04/1998, and when they were still in school their most requested dish was RIBEYE STEAK from the school’s chefs. hopefully their presence can help ease the minds of gallagher students. ⌿ tasha, 22, she/her, best ⍀ <- just realized i put best instead of est i swear that wasn’t intentional pls don’t think im up my own ass dfhjg

guess who did a complete 180 n was like .. haha .. what if .. i bring an alum .. a character that i’ve used before in a gang rp dfjhg who was a .. Getaway Driver . and the non-commitment of it was v appealing to me at 4am !  all the good stuff under the read more .. n just the tiniest of plugs .. during my 4am journey i also finally got around  to writing luce’s bio . 4 everyone who wanted a powerpoint of all her exes , this ones for u its a doozy xo lov a gorl who is defined by men :))) tw: drug addiction, car crash, murder (FOR BOBBY DFJH)  + HIS PINTEREST bc it’s probably my favourite one 

BACKSTORY

i am obsessed with the trope that danger breeds from boredom in suburbia but to make it even spicier , why not combine it with someone who might be a literal sociopath ? born in grosse pointe shores , one of the most affluent suburbs in detroit .

was born robert, but that’s a boring name for a boring man, something he is anything but . he’s a third generation american, and grew up in the typical white picket fence neighbourhood , though his family is extremely wealthy from investing in fossil fuels . however , they live modestly which has always been a major gripe with bobby .  

he’s been a problem child for as long as he can remember , sneaking into r-rated movies before he was a teen , and he could’ve been a hipster artist with the amount of weed he smoked and bullshit he spewed . however , he excelled in school , his parents unworried as he placed at the top of his class , and only comment from teachers was that he talked too much .

at sixteen he gets his driver license , and soon enough pavements are tracked with tire marks and he’s running reds and hiding the ticket notices from his parents . street racing’s his jam , there’s white powder on the tip of his nose . he’s also the unofficial bookie for an underground fight club ... spending most of his time in the city which is only a twenty minute drive .

his parents start to pay attention , he thinks , finally those dumb fucks . they send him to therapy . therapists are obsessed with roots of trauma and thinking processes . but he’s not angry and he’s never faced any tragedy . what a waste of time , he thinks , but they prescribe him some pretty dope pills .

he wreaks havoc on his parents while rousing suspicion of blackthorne recruiters . under the guise of school recruiters they tell his parents of a private boarding school for gifted young students . they enrol him immediately . he’s planning to escape the first chance he gets , but falls in love before he can . not with anyone , but the school . this place is fucking epic . he keeps using but he’s extremely high functioning .

he’s never killed anyone before , and no one’s wronged him to the point of deserving death , so he goes big ‘cos he sure as hell isn’t going home and kills the ceo of chevron , a multibillion dollar oil company , because nothing has wronged him like climate change has . it’s easy enough , under the right tutelage , but he still pukes after .

his spy career lasts for seven blissful years , but his addiction comes to a boil when he crashes at 120 mph into a brick wall after believing that his car could go through it . to this day , he still believes that the coke he had snorted previously was laced with something . a fellow spy in the passenger seat dies .

blackthorne pulls him out and locks him up , very trainspotting scene except he’s locked up for a year , it’s possibly the worst experience of his life , and still shudders at the memories of withdrawing . they tell him that if they ever find out he’s using again they’ll kill him , no questions asked . then , they allow him to go to a proper rehab facility .

he’s now been sober for three years , and has the chip to prove it .

PERSONALITY

extremely outspoken to the point of rudeness , crass too . always makes every conversation an attempt to provoke for the shits and giggles of it .

pretty hyperaware of everything that’s going on even if it doesn’t seem like it . he’ll like , swat a fly out of nowhere mid-conversation then hold up his palm to whoever’s talking to him to show the fly gut’s on his hand .

self-indulgent , doesn’t have much of a moral compass , goes where the fun is .

super pumped about being an alum to the students , he has made lesson plans .

TRIVIA

would have gone to school for film , even though he could have been able to apply for anything and get in . obsessed with body horror ( cronenberg’s his hero ) and german expressionism .

his last name comes from the original surname of guruvara/gorovare which is a sanskrit word for teacher/mentor so maybe he was destined for this ... king shit .

hasn’t talked to his parents since he was sixteen despite them reaching out multiple times , he hates them for some , inexplicable reason .

from like eighteen to when he got sober .. how do i say this .. his dick .. was not performing as if should have DHJG ?? that just gives u the impression as to how many drugs he was taking at the time .

CONNECTIONS

calling all driver’s eds kids ! just hit me up , because he probably has a detailed plan on how to mentor you .

any other kids who have no experience with driving , but want to learn !

his death count’s low , but any sort of connection to the person he who died in his car when he was off his ass .

alternatively , any blackthorne kids who’ve heard the rumours that he killed the ceo of the oil company , stroke his ego !

he was truly working overtime those seven years he was a spy so any other alum , maybe they worked a job together !

[thoughtsofagent]

Red flags and abuse.

Well it's been a while.

We all break from time to time. Me, I broke and I broke bad.

I lost an amazing girl, I pulled away from friends and family, I near lost my job. I felt so lost even though I had support. To this day I don't know what caused or triggered it but I'm still working through it.

For nearly a year I was, for want of a better word, broken.

Then I met a girl. She was amazing and we instantly clicked. We spent our first two dates sat on a bench watching the stars and talking (in fact for my birthday she bought me a star map of that night, framed).

She was submissive, very submissive. In fact she adored abuse. Then she explained why.

She was groomed and abused as a child. She was made to take drugs, which quickly turned to alcohol. She went through 14 years of hell, but she said meeting me was her turning point.

She wanted to beat the drink. And she was suffering. The withdrawals were horrendous, but I did what any good person would do; I sat up with a cold flannel to cool her down and stop the shakes and I'd hold her when she cried.

She said no one had treated her that way and broke down. She adored me.

But the drink kept coming back. And that's when the abuse started.

First it was name calling. This quickly turned to violence, with remorse the next day and no recollection. I hid my bruises. I was lucky; she was near a foot shorter than me and 5 stone lighter, meaning I could keep her at bay when she attacked me. But I still got hurt.

Through heartache I continued, accepting apology after apology, and did my best to help her.

It got so bad that one day I had to restrain her from hitting and biting me after she threw a glass at me. I held her for near 40 minutes until she calmed down; crying, drunk.

She couldn't sleep, her depression was taking over and that very next day I came home to her in the bathtub, razor in hand, blood everywhere.

I quickly wrapped her up and rushed her to hospital. We were released out at 4am.

It got better for a few weeks after. But it always came back. One particular day she was so drunk she couldn't speak, and it got too much; I told her to leave. Drunk and barely able to walk, I took her to a family member.

The following day she asked to come home and begged not to loose me. And would do anything, get the help she needed.

I, again, ignored the red flag and she came home.

She did good; 5 weeks passed before she drank again. We were driving home and I took her phone off her. She was on a dating site. This wasnt the first time, but of course I blamed the booze and ignored the red flags desperately waving in my face. She got angry and grabbed the wheel. Somehow I kept us on the road.

She awoke the following day, embarrassed of what happened and promised to try harder.

Christmas came and she bought me a love book - a story of our time together noting all our little jokes, our quips and what she loved about me.

I broke down, thinking that love would win, she could beat this for me.

5 days later she told me she didnt want me and walked away.

That was one month ago now. I've not heard from her, other than her telling me she doesn't need help.

Me? I'm dealing with the memories. The blood in the bath. The crying. The emotional trauma I am currently having to deal with. The conversations on how she just wants to sleep forever.

Unfortunately I cannot do more for her. God knows I wish I could.

But I ignored the red flags.

Why am I writing this? In hope via some more influential people such as @instructor144 and @onelittlekingdom it may reach one or two of you and understand this:

Do NOT ignore red flags. It doesn't matter how you feel, never do what I have done.

And just as importantly;

ASKING FOR HELP IS NOT SHOWING YOU ARE WEAK

She refused the help. She said she would, but insisted she was ok. She was not, and is not ok.

Heed my lesson. Do not make the mistakes I have. I wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy and I'll be working to get past this and I hope this will help someone make that choice; the right choice.

[big-disney-kid-storyteller]

We all do stupid things

Now is the time to start acting responsibly. There are days I have lived with some friends of mine, when you would say we were irresponsible, but this particular day ended that run. On one summer day in Barstow, California 1998, hot as it always was that time of year, me and my two friends Dearel and Patrick were bored on a Friday with nothing to do. There had been talk of a bonfire out in the desert and a lot of people we knew were going. So I was told. We had a bit of influence in this crowd and it was expected of us to be out there. Mind you no one had a car. I usually borrowed my parents or my dad's truck, so I asked him. He said, “No. I don’t know why but no.” We had told him we were going to go camping. Not a complete lie I tell you but a bend of the truth. He always knows. I have three older brothers. 

Walking to Dearel’s house we see across the street a family loading up a U-Haul for moving. “Hey, why don't we rent a U-Haul and load it and take it out to the party tonight?” Three teenage boys and this has to be one of the dumbest ideas I've heard. Patrick, “I just got paid so I can put down the deposit.” “Hell, I’m eighteen, I’ll rent it.” We then started walking to the U-Haul store. Why did these people let us do this? Three teenage boys, one eighteen and two seventeen, standing at the counter renting a U-Haul. I wonder if the guy just didn't care? We pull up back at my house with our 15 foot U-Haul. Mind you my parents knew I was eighteen and I would learn my lesson. So as we were loading up the back of our truck with sleeping bags and some food, my parents left on an errand. As we were heading out to the desert we knew we needed some chairs, so we grabbed my dads pool-side plastic chairs and headed on our way. Patrick and Dearel lived on the same street so we just parked while they grabbed bags and other odds and ends, while I made a few phone calls to other people we were gonna grab. 

Me, Dearel, with a girl in the middle and about eight or nine others in the back, plus some bags from other people who would come later.  Now we can’t show up to a party empty handed, so Walmart was our next stop.  Again I was the oldest and not twenty-one. I parked just off to the side and a few people ran in and did a grab and go. That is, they ran in grabbed a case of beer and two bottles of alcohol and jumped in the back of our ride. Here comes reason number two as to why we should have never gone out. Dearel was playing navigator reading the instructions from a friend to a spot just a few miles up off highway 89. A small turn off from the road and we were now on a dirt road, two miles in jamming to some music and I just happened to look in my rearview.  A highway patrol with his lights on was following us. I just stopped dead in the middle of this dirt road. The first thing I hear is pounding from the back “What's going on? Why did we stop?” I'm just waiting like Oh God!  Officer steps up to my window. “How are you guys doing? Mind if I ask what it is you are doing out here?” “Camping.” First thing coming to my mind is not a total lie either. More noises from the back.  “And what is in the back?” “A few kids.”

“Alright, step out and come to the back of the vehicle.” I get out of the cab and walk to the back of the truck and the Officer points to a spot on the ground, so I sit. I watch as he lifts the back up a little and can hear people asking what's going on, then he throws it all the way up. “Oh, shit,” 

is all you hear from a few people. “Ok come on out one at a time with your ID’s in hand.”  After the last person is out, the Officer turns and looks at me, I can’t help but smile.  Shaking his head he asks me to get up and walk to his car, I thought, well now it's over. He hands me back all the IDs and tells me he is keeping all the cigarettes because no one was of age except me. I thought we were done with the alcohol but that bag didn't get searched. The officer gave me a bit of advice and got in his car and drove away. As I walked back to the truck everyone was asking what was happening. I told them the officer was letting us go and told us to not be afraid to call for help if we really needed it. On this note, he also forgot to give me back my drivers license. He had it tucked in his belt when he headed out. Lucky for me I got it back when it showed up in the mail a few weeks later. 

Are we stupid? “Yes!” Because we kept going. We got to the spot and already a few cars were set up. People were actually impressed that we rolled up in the U-Haul. Popularity points just went up a few.  Unloaded my dad’s deck furniture and all the bags from the back, and went over by the fire. A few hours later, some kids wanted to go back in town for a run, some needed to get back home, and some wanted to get picked up. The U-Haul had the easiest access out so I drove. Skip  forward and Dearell and I  are back on the dirt road heading towards the party. Only three others were in the back this time. Dearell said our turn was next, ”Turn here.” I did as I was old and turned on to the smaller road. This didn't seem right to me. The road was all soft sand and not a road at all, but a hiking trail. Son of a bitch! Now I have to keep driving until I can hit solid ground and turn around before getting stuck. I go as far as I can and end up pulling up on a large solid rock, put it in reverse and the back left tire sank. Thirty minutes of rocking the truck back and forth we ended up sinking more and burned up all the oil. Lucky for us the party was just over the next hill, as we could hear them from where we were at. The three other passengers said they would walk over and get help, someone had a jeep and pulley system that might do the job. We never saw them again, nor did anyone come to help. Not being able to do a damn thing I grabbed a beer and jumped up on the top and laid back. I guess I fell asleep because the sun was coming up when I woke to someone in the cab trying to unstick the truck. 

A few people from the party heard what was happening and came to investigate. They walked and didn’t bring a car or a jeep. Earlier, Dearel had gone back to the party and around 4am Patrick had walked off to call his mom, so he could go to work. Real friends! Dearel I didn't really see after this event, but I keep in touch on Facebook and he ended up doing pretty well for himself. Patrick, my best friend, was told by his mom that we needed some time apart. A few months later he enlisted in the Marines, now has a big family and is also doing good, but we’re not really friends. I just like to keep an eye on him and see how he’s doing. 

As for me, I walked with three other guys that came to help, guys I had just met the night before to the highway and the few miles back into town. The picture looked like this. Three teenagers, one white, one black and two Mexicans walking with our shirts off down highway 89. A few years later I heard that a story circulated about the 89 boys who walked into town after an all night party, I smiled knowing I was one of them. We got into town and made a phone call for someone to pick us up and drop us off at our houses. 

Resolution. I made it home and now had to face my dad. After talking he and I got some shovels and got into his truck, the one I wanted to borrow earlier, and drove out to where I had left the truck. To my surprise, we did see Patrick with his mom and their 4x4 truck which made it easier to get the U-Haul out. Drove it back to my house. I had some cleaning to do before returning it. Got the hose and some trash bags and went to work. All cleaned up, now I had to return it. My dad said I needed to walk home after the return because I needed to think over the events of the last few days. If this was all the trouble I would be in, I'd take it. 

I told you about Dearel and Patrick, but as for me, I did stop with the stupid shit and started getting my life together. Got my GED, and even though it took two years I ended up enlisting in the Navy. I started looking at things a bit different because of this event and knowing all that had happened it could have gone really wrong or not at all. If nothing had happened, I think we would have kept going until something went really wrong.  

[amaviarra]

Sweet things

------------

Warnings: Angst , omegaverse, written on my phone so I can't add read more so wall of text, cussing. Sweet sweetpea XD I started writing at 2AM, it's now 4AM. Sorry for any mistakes.

Pairing: Sweetpea x Reader

----------

Y/N was walking down the hallway of riverdale high with Toni and her girlfriend, Cheryl. She listened quietly as the two talked about their weekend plans.

"So what do you think Y/N?"

You looked toward Toni and nodded your head "About meeting up at the whyte wyrm this weekend and playing pool? I'm down, are we going to invite the boys or is this going to be a girls only outing?"

Cheryl rolled her eyes "please chikadee, you know they're going to be there already. Might as well include them from the beginning so we don't have to deal with their pestering"

You and Toni laughed. It was true.

The three of you were stopped as fangs ran toward you all before stopping in front of you. "Guys! Guess what class we have next?"

You rose your brow "I haven't a clue fangs, what is it? "

"Sex Ed" he replied, his tone slightly lower and he wiggled his brows after giving the answer.

Only fangs could make three women roll their eyes at the same time.

Toni scoffed "you guys are so disturbing"

Sweet pea, who has joined the group after fangs had revealed his big news showed mock offense at what she said.

You chuckled "I don't think there is anything anyone can teach you guys about sex. Pretty sure you man whores already know it all"

This time it was Fangs who acted offended but you knew he wasn't. The group of you were so close that you could say pretty much anything to each other and all of you had pretty sarcastic humor.

You stiffened slightly when you felt an arm go around your shoulders, but relaxed quickly when you realized it was just sweet pea. He squeezed you slightly "well let's all go" he stated "wouldn't want to he late for this next lesson"

With a laugh, the five of you made your way to the classroom. As sweetpea stayed close you tried to calm your beating heart.

-------

Much to the disappointment of many of the males in the class, it turned out not to be completely about sex ed. But instead the three categories one might belong to. Alpha, beta or omega.

You sighed as you looked at the board and took in all that the teacher was saying. It wasn't anything new. It had been drilled into everyone's head since elementary school.

Alphas were the top of the categories. They excelled in anything and everything. They were common.

Betas were average. They could be good, bad mediocre. They too were common.

Omegas. Oh omegas, the bottom of the food chain. They were rare and often looked down upon. They could get pregnant easily, even males could(those were extremely rare though). They had a week long heat cycle once a month, which could be very painful if they didn't take medication for it. The only way to really cure the pain was to well...have sex. When they had a heat cycle they emitted pheromones that would attract and drive any nearby alphas crazy, literally. All logic would be gone and both the alpha and omega would rely on their instincts to have sex.

That's why usually omegas locked themselves in their houses when their heat cycle came. Unless They had a mate, then it wasn't as bad or as strong.

Thankfully you were a beta. Everyone in riverdale got tested as a child to find out what they were. You were pretty sure there were only a handful of omegas in riverdale.

Most mated by now or were shipped off to some place that kept them safe until they were ready.

You looked around the classroom. A good mixture of betas and alphas.

Sweetpea was an alpha. As was Jughead, it's why the two of them butted heads so often. Testing each other. Challenging each other, well mainly it was sweet pea doing the challenging.

Betty and veronica were alphas. So was Archie.

Cheryl and Toni were both betas. As was fangs.

You were brought from your thoughts as a sharp pain went through you, you clenched your jaw and closed your eyes, you took a deep breath. This had been happening on and off all day. Along with randomly feeling light headed. Were you getting sick? Hopefully not.

"Psst"

You opened your eyes and looked at sweetpea beside you. He was looking slightly concerned "are you okay?" He whispered.

You nodded and smiled softly "Yeah, I'm fine"

Before he could reply the teacher cleared their throat. "Sweetpea, Y/N anything you'd like to share with the class?"

You and sweetpea looked forward, sweet pea shook his head "Nah, you can continue"

The teacher looked unamused but turned around with a huff and continued the lesson.

You met your best friends gaze and the both of you chuckled.

----------

You were changing for P.E when the pain hit you again, worse this time. You doubled over from it and had a bit of a hard time standing. The lightheaded feeling returned as well, this time without subsiding.

A lot of people asked if you were okay, and you were. At least, that's what you were trying to convince yourself. You didn't want to go home yet, the day was almost over.

But you also knew that you couldn't participate in P.E today, not like this. So you slowly made your way to the teacher and asked if you could just sit and watch.

It took awhile, but the teacher finally agreed. With the condition that you would help clean up the room afterwords. Figuring that you'd be fine after some rest, you agreed and went to the bleachers to sit and watch.

It was an easy class for the others as well. Basketball. Boys played on one side, girls on the other.

Not surprisingly Sweetpea got into a scuffle with Reggie. Their "fight" was really just two alphas trying to prove who was better, but since he had started it, the fight had ended with sweetpea getting clean up duty as well.

With it being the last class of the day, that also left you and sweetpea to lock up the gym. Cause god forbid the teachers stay to do their job.

By the end of the class, your pain and lightheadedness had subsided enough for you to be able to clean without issue.

Soon you and sweetpea found yourselves in the storage room, slowly putting all the supplies back into their correct places.

It was odd being alone with Sweetpea, usually either Fangs or Toni were close by. But it wasn't uncomfortable, you've known and been friends with sweetpea for as long as you could remember. You two had been best friends first, and then fangs and Toni joined.

You Were brought from your thoughts as the storage room door slammed shut. Your eyes widened as you thought for a moment that maybe sweetpea had left not realizing you were still in here.

As you made your way to the door you realized that wasn't the case and Sweetpea himself had just reached the door too, from the other side of the room.

The two of you shared a look and then he frowned and reached for the handles, he pushed and frowned when they didn't budge "what the fuck.."

He tried again, with no luck.

You frowned "Seriously?!" How cliche could it get for two teens to get locked in a storage room.

"Do you have your phone? Maybe you can call the school or someone to let them know we are in here?"

You shook your head "unfortunately no, it's in my locker"

Sweetpea only cussed in response.

At that moment you felt another pang of pain go through you, you hissed at the feeling. Holding your stomach as you leaned over.

"Y/N...."

Hearing sweetpeas cautious tone you looked up, only to see him standing away from you and very stiffly.

"Why do you smell so sweet Y/N?"

Your brow furrowed "W-what are you talking about sweetpea I-" your response was cut off by another wave of pain. You groaned.

Sweetpea took another step back, his eyes wide with caution. "Are you in heat Y/N?! I thought you were a beta!"

"I-I am, these are just cramps or the flu or something"

Sweetpeas jaw clenched and then he turned away from you "Just please, go over to the other side of the room. Far away from me"

With his strained tone, you knew he was serious and didn't bother to argue with him.

Instead, once the pain subsided you did as he asked.

Once you were further away from him, he seemed to relax slightly and then he started acting like a mad man. Pounding and kicking the door. Yelling for anyone to come and open it.

But it seemed as though it was all in vain. No one came.

As you sat, huddled in a corner of the room you wondered on whether or not you could really be an omega, and in heat. If So, you werent sure how this would turn out.

----------

It felt like hours had passed. The pain kept coming, harder and for longer periods of time. To add on to the pain, you felt hot. Burning almost.

A craving came that you didn't feel often, the craving for another being.

You leaned your head back on the Wall, cursing whatever higher being there may be, why you? Why him?

The pain went through you one more time, followed heavily with desire and heat.

Slowly you got up, you knew he told you to stay. But you hadn't heard anything from him for awhile. You were worried.

You made your way to the door, to see him standing in front of it. His head leaning against it, his back toward you as he took deep breaths. As though he was trying to calm himself.

"Sweetpea" you called his name softly.

He stiffened "Go back Y/N. I don't know if I'll be able to control myself if you get any closer"

You stopped for a moment but then continued "W-what if i don't want you to?"

He turned to look at you and that's when you noticed his pupils were dilated. He looked wilder then usual. "Y/N....."

You took another step closer "Please sweetpea, please help me take the pain away"

He didn't hesitate then. You Soon found yourself being slammed against the wall, caged in by sweetpea. Without hesitation your arms were around his neck and your legs around his waist as the two of you met in a raw and passionate kiss.

------

When you awoke the pain you had felt previously was gone, as was the heat. You were also naked and on a mat that had been in the storage room. You ached, but felt complete.

Looking around the dimly lit room you spotted sweetpea, he was dressed and sitting by the door with head in his hands.

You frowned, feeling slightly guilty that you may have forced sweet pea into doing something he regretted.

Just as you were about to call out to him, you heard it. And so did he by the way his head jerked up and he got quickly to his feet.

"Sweet pea!" "Y/N!"

It was Fangs and Toni.

Sweetpea wasted no time pounding on the door and calling out for your friends.

You rose quickly and got dressed in record time, there would be no hiding what you guys did. But you at least wanted to look somewhat decent.

Soon the door opened, revealing your relieved friends. As the room became lighter you took in sweetpea's appearance. He looked rough and you also noticed the multiple bite marks and dry blood all over his hands and own arms. You don't remember biting him...

As you watched him quickly instruct Toni and Fangs to take you to the hospital and home and then leaving without looking back, it hit you. He had bit himself to avoid biting you, you felt your heart break as you realized how much he didn't want to mark you, mate you.

You always thought you were never worthy of him because you were a beta, but now you realize you still weren't even as an omega.

With that realization, you numbly followed fangs and Toni as they lead you outside the school and as they escorted you to the hospital.

The doctors there cleared you. You were slightly bruised, but nothing serious.

They told you that your results as a child could have been a false report or maybe your sample had been mixed with another childs at the time.

They gave you medicine to help with the rest of your heat and then told you to go home and rest.

To take a few weeks off school until you were sure your heat was gone.

Once you were safely in your trailer. It all passed by in a blur. Toni, fangs and F.P(who was unaffected by your heat since he was mated) took turns "guarding" you, taking care of you.

The whole time you couldn't really acknowledge them, or anything. You just felt numb. You didn't feel that heat, that desire. You didn't even want to eat, which said a lot since you usually had an appetite similar to jughead.

It hurt. Your heart. No matter how often you texted him during your heat cycle, to see if he was okay. Or Even to make small talk. He never responded. He didn't even come to the trailer park during that time according to the others.

It was almost two weeks before you made it back to school and you were determined to find him there.

------

Sweetpea, when he wanted to, was very stealthy. He did a great job at avoiding someone when he wanted and it was incredibly frustrating.

You had been trying to track him down all week at school and somehow, someway you always ended up missing him.

Finally at the end of the week, you had enough and were finally- with some help from friends who were also tired of it- able to trap him in an empty classroom with you.

Even with the two of you alone in the room, he kept as much distance as possible.

You huffed, crossing your arms in front of you "I didn't take you for such a coward sweetpea"

He looked up at you, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched "I'm not a coward, I just-"

"Just What? Felt bad? Regretted what happened between us?"

His silence in response confirmed your thoughts, but you continued "Listen Pea, I'm sorry if I forced you to do something you didn't want with me, i understand if you're disgusted-"

"I'm not disgusted"

You rose a hand "please pea, let me finish or I won't be able to say this" the slight waver in your voice made him stop, his gaze softened and became slightly concerned.

"I-I know now that you'll never love me or see me as a potential mate no matter what I am. And that's fine, i understand but please" you met his gaze, eyes shining with unshed tears "Please Pea, I can't lose my best friend"

You couldn't stop the tears from falling even if you wanted to. This is why you had never confessed to him in the first place, aside from never thinking you had a chance, was because you didn't want to lose him or make things awkward.

Part of why you gave in that night was because you thought maybe it gave you more a chance.

You were brought from your thoughts as you felt yourself be pulled into a gentle hug.

Sweetpea pulled back and gently cupped your face "Y/N, I wasn't responding and was giving you space because I felt like I took advantage of you. But it seems like we are both idiots. I'd do anything for you to be my mate, but I didn't want it to happen when we were both going by instinct"

Without hesitating sweetpea leaned down, this time meeting you with a soft and gentle kiss that gave more then any words could.

"Ugh finally, i thought they'd never make up and get together"

You both pulled apart slightly and looked toward the door, where fangs stood his arms crossed and shit eating grin on his face.

Sweetpea rose a brow at you "we'll continue the talk about mating later, for now it seems like I have an ass to kick"

You chuckled, your heart feeling lighter then it has in a long time, as you watched Sweetpea chase his friend down the hall.

[duckingpunches]

Random shit about me

Thanks for the tag @galaxy-whiskers !!!! Love you dude x 

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? I don’t have one! My hair is currently buzzed and has been sort for about 5 years 

2. name of a food you never eat? Oh gosh where to start, I’m a pretty fussy eater. Top of the list would probably be avocado, gross

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? Probably too hot! Especially at night when I’m at university, my boyfriend is a bloody furnace 

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? Watching Friday Night Dinner with my family 

5. what’s your favourite candy bar? Ummmmm, probably Green and Black’s 70% dark chocolate. That stuff is goooooooood

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? Yeah! My brother is a gymnast, so I’ve been to his events. I’ve also been to lots of premier league football games as my bio dad is a big fan.

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? Shouting my dog from across the room 

8. what is your favourite ice cream? Either Ben and Jerry’s half-baked cookie dough and brownie or their new ‘Netflix and chilled’ flavour which is INCREDIBLE. It’s peanut ice cream, salted and sweet pretzel swirls with brownie chunks. To die for honestly. 

9. what is the last thing you had to drink? Some Vimto (though Ribena is always superior) squash in my new water bottle. It’s honestly so sick, I bought it off amazon and it keeps my drinks cold all day. For example, I went to work at 4am and when I finished at 1pm the ice cubes I put in that morning were still fully there, excellent purchase. 

10. do you like your wallet? Yeah! It was my first ‘men’s’ wallet and even though it’s starting to fall apart I love it 

11. what was the last thing you ate? A crème egg hahahaha. My work had reduced all of the Easter stuff, so I bought three packs of twelve for less than a pound. 

12. did you buy any new clothes last week? Not last week, but I did the week before. A company I really like called ‘Lame’ were doing an offer where you get a free cap with every hoodie, so I snagged their ‘Satan’s Spinach’ one. It’s super comfy, a lot thicker than regular hoodies, comes in recycled packaging and has thumb holes!!!!!! 

13. last sporting event you watched? Honestly couldn’t tell you 

14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn? Sweet n Salted every single time

15. who was the last person you sent a message to? My boyfriend! I’m missing him a lot at the minute with the quarantine, so I mainly send him memes all day

16. ever go camping? Allllll the time as a kid, but less so now. I was in the scouts, so we went a lot and my family used to go on holiday with a few other families when I was younger, we did it for about seven years until all of us kids were older. I do love it though and as soon as I get my car, I’m planning on buying a tent and going a lot more. 

17. do you take vitamins? Not really 

18. do you go to church every Sunday? I used to, then I came out and got kicked out. Not really religious anymore 

19. do you have a tan? Not currently, but whenever I go abroad, or it gets hot where I live, I tan really well.  

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Hmmm a tough one, but probably Chinese! There are quite a few good places round me, and my sister used to work for a local restaurant so you can imagine we ate it quite a lot 😬

21. do you drink soda with a straw?                                                             Nope! 

22. what colour socks do you wear? Every colour under the sun. I love socks so much. The more colourful and uglier the better 

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? Nah, I’m still having lessons so my instructor wouldn’t be very happy if I did! 

24. what terrifies you? My friends and family dying. My dog going missing. Never having top surgery. Not enjoying my life. Gah, the list could just go on 

25. look to your left what do you see? My bookcase 

26. what chore do you hate? Probably doing the bathroom or picking up my dogs shit lmao 

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? My ex-girlfriend. Shudder. 

28. what’s your favourite soda? Fanta! Specifically, orange, fruit twist used to be my favourite, but the classic is just peng as fuck 

29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru? Into usually 

30. who was the last person you talked to? My sister, we were talking about how shit dinner is going to be 

31. favourite cut of beef? Not a fan of beef really 

32. last song you listened to? Sweet creature by Harry Styles. My Alexa has his albums on shuffle right now

33. last book you read? I’m currently re-reading ‘call me by your name’ which is one of my favourites 

34. can you say the alphabet backwards? Definitely not  

35. how do you like your coffee? Don’t drink coffee unfortunately 

36. favourite pair of shoes? My Dinosaur Vans. They are wicked and my friend recommended them to me after buying a pair herself and they are super comfy 

37. the time you normally go to bed? If I’m working, 8pm because I have to wake up at 3:50am. If I’m not working, about midnight.

38. the time you normally wake up? If I’m working, 3:50am. If I have a day off, around 9am 

39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets, I love watching out of my window, reading a good book with my dog curled up on the bed and a chill album playing. Some of my favourite memories are being on holiday or scout camp with my mates and talking as the sunsets. Very zen  

40. how many blankets are on your bed? My duvet, a weighted blanket belonging to my mum which I have stolen temporarily, a grey blanket and my fish blanket. So many….

41. describe your kitchen plates? Mishmash of my grandparents’ old plates, my ones from uni and a few random ones we have had from friends. We are doing up the house, so we wanted ones we didn’t mind breaking. Our nice Gordon Ramsey plates are in the shed hahahaha. Though we have been doing up the house for about three years now, so I haven’t used the fancy plates in an age. 

42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? Probably the cocktail my sister and I make. It’s vodka, peach schnapps, Malibu, mango juice, mango monster and lemonade. 

43. do you play cards? Not really 

44. what colour is your car? I don’t have one rip 

45. can you change a tire? Yeah! 

46. your favourite province? No idea 

47. favourite job you’ve had? My current job tbf. I work at Waitrose and it’s pretty nice, especially the pay. I have worked at a few places. First being red5 for about 6 months, then I worked at a children’s mental health charity where I loved my colleagues and the groups I ran, but my managers and some of the stuff I had to see and deal with were just terrible. My 18 months there were probably the worst of my life.  

48. how did you get your biggest scar?

TW//////////// Self-harm when I was about 14. I had to have stitches. /////////////////

49. what did you do today that made someone happy? I fed my dog and he was pretty happy about that 😂

I tag @new-brat-in-town @thecrazycreation @yunoaccept @mixmio 

No pressure though!!