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ashintheairlikesnow · 5 years

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Dad Fluff: Bad Day

CW: Chronic pain, referenced past torture, Mina is sickeningly cute, and all of the things she does in here are things I have personally witnessed a four year old doing. (I was actually the four year old who did one of the things in this piece - guess which one!)

Danny is busy pitying himself when he hears Mina wake up down the hall. He’d had this idea of what parenting would be like, and lying in bed with agonizing pain ripping up and down his back isn’t it.

Instead, as he’d waited and waited for them to be matched with a birthmom, Danny had pictured waking his daughter (or son - they hadn’t known which the baby would be, yet) with homemade breakfast.

He’d seen himself as being already on his second cup of coffee, settling down at the kitchen table to watch tiny legs swing on chairs too tall.

Danny had pictured asking his child what they had dreamed about the night before, and lying about his own nightmares with ease by then. Never letting on that when his baby needed a nightlight, he still did, too.

Some days - most days, even, he tries to be honest with at least himself - he is exactly the father he wanted to be. But then there are days like today, where his four year old daughter starts singing to herself in her room down the hall and Danny can’t get up to greet her.

“Hosanna, hey-sanna, sanna superstar,” Mina sings brightly in the joyful off-key caterwauling of very young children, and Danny finds a smile. It’s faint and faded and it doesn’t last, as a new spike of pain rips up the right side of his back where a knife once broke off inside him, but he decides to count that one single smile as his first victory for the day.

He should have told Nate to call off class, he really should have, but… the thing was, Nate’s been working on this lecture he’s really excited about - something something World War I and horror in popular culture, there’s a book, something something there’s always a book - forever and his students are all hyped up for it and Danny having a bad back doesn’t seem like a reason to ruin everyone else’s day, too.

It felt like doing the right thing then - pretending to be peacefully asleep while Nate quietly got ready and let himself out the front door after putting Toto out in the fenced-in yard - but in the moment it means Danny lying in bed, in the dark he tells himself he no longer fears because he’s in too much pain to turn on the light, waiting for his daughter to give up waiting on him to come to her room and come looking for him herself.

“Hey-sanna, hosanna, sanna superstar,” Mina sings, and then there’s a pause. Danny closes his eyes against the angry tears, tries to tell himself to stand, but when he moves his legs his back screams at him to stay still and he gives up, letting out a soft, half-broken sob.

“Daddy?” Mina calls. He can hear the sound of her turning the doorknob, the soft sound of the door opening up. “Daddy? Do you hear me singing?”

“Yes, baby,” He manages, his deep voice hoarse and a little cracked. “I’m… I’m in my room, Mina, honey. Can… can you, um, come here?”

Silence, and then the padding of tiny footsteps down the hall, until his own bedroom door slowly opens. He can close his eyes and picture her going up on her toes to turn on the light, and the sudden brightness soothes something that is always jagged in Danny in the dark.

Grown man, afraid of the dark, Abraham whispers in the back of his mind, never quite gone, the ghost that left a parting gift of pain. My fingers never leave your mind.

Around the side of the little dresser his daughter peeps at him and Abraham’s voice is gone as quickly as it came. Mina chases all his ghosts away.

She’s wearing her matching unicorn pajamas that are probably too small by now, but he can’t bear to make her give them up. Her hair is a halo of textured black curls around her head - Danny is supposed to give her back her braids, today, the ladies down at the salon they go to showed Danny and Nate how to take care of hair so very different than their own

He can’t braid her hair if he can’t fucking sit up.

Mina takes him in with wide brown eyes, the largest feature in her tiny round face. She’s starting to lose the toddler babyfat but only just, and the resemblance to his own younger brother in the first days Danny was adopted is… uncanny, sometimes.

Like now, when Mina looks at him and knows what she is looking at.

“You didn’t turn on the light,” She says, softly. “You don’t have your light on the wall. Are you sick?”

“I’m… I’ll be okay, honey. I just have, um, my back hurts… pretty bad today. I thought I’d handle it, but…” He groans without meaning to, it feels like so much energy just to talk. “I’m so sorry, honey. I’m not… not gonna be much of a daddy today.”

Mina frowns at him, her big brown eyes locked on his.

It isn’t supposed to be like this.

Abraham found a way to leave him one last goddamn gift, a present he never unwrapped or asked for and would do anything to give back.

“I’ll get your phone,” Mina says seriously, and comes further in, dragging RiffRaff behind her, the stuffed giraffe with a neck long enough to approach pure absurdity. A gift from Ryan, one among many.

She moves quickly across the floor with her little bare feet padding, a flash of brown stomach showing as her too-small shirt rides up. She has to stretch up again to pull Danny’s cell phone down from the bookshelf, and he watches her, thinking, by next year you won’t have to go on your toes, by two years you won’t want me to be the first thing you see any longer, by thirteen you’ll be slamming doors in my face, will I still be lying here with my back refusing to let me be the parent I wanted to be for you?

“Sad Daddy face,” Mina says, slapping the cell phone down next to him. “Dad would poke your nose.”

“He would,” Danny says, and manages a small smile. “Honey, I’m trying, but I think we have to call Dad back home from work. I can’t… I can’t get out of the bed. I’m sorry, Mina, but it’s not… it’s not gonna work today.”

“Yes it can,” Mina says, with a stubborn set to her jaw she gets from Nate, not that Nate has ever noticed he does it. Danny finds a small smile, at the sight. Adopted or not, Mina is Nate Vandrum’s daughter through and through - already reading some words, already curling up with a book to turn the pages and make up stories about the pictures she sees on the page. Already a serious little girl, a tiny adult.

“I don’t see how,” Danny replies, shifting minutely in the bed, just trying to move onto his side, hissing when his back protests once again.

“We do like when I get sick,” Mina says, softly. “I can open the fridge all by myself and my stuffies and my loveys can sit with us and we can do like when I’m sick.” She considers, and he sees a sudden gleam of mischief in her. “I can have my screen?” She asks, sidling a little closer to the bed.

Danny swallows, and looks down at his cell phone. It’s 7:30 in the morning. The lecture Nate has been planning for happens for his 10 AM class, and he can move his office hours maybe if Danny gives him enough notice to put up a sign…

Hey Nate, he texts, keeping his eyes on Mina, who watches his texting with interest and a clearly increasing certainty that she is going to get exactly what she wants out of this. Bad back day. Fine rn but cn you come home after lecture plz?

“Gonna get to watch princesses,” Mina says, with evident delight. “And eat Lunchables.”

“Sssshhhh,” Danny says, but he can’t quite hold back his own smile in response to his daughter’s. “Daddy being sick isn’t supposed to be something you look forward to, baby.”

His phone vibrates in his hand and he glances down.

Danny, please use full words, that drives me up the wall when you type like that.

“I can’t believe you took the time to write that out,” Danny mutters to himself, but his smile widens even more. He can feel the stretch of scar tissue along his nose and jaw, even this long after Abraham’s death the marks are there, fading but never gone. “Mina, only your Dad uses correct punctuation in his f-... his text messages.”

“Writing is important,” Mina recites in her best impersonation of Nate, pitching her voice hilariously low. Danny laughs out loud despite the way the motion seems to stab whole new little daggers up and down his spine. He’ll be damned if he’ll let a little agony stop him from appreciating his daughter.

Another message comes in and he glances down.

I’ll be home by 12:30. Bringing ramen from the place you like and gyoza for Mina. Do you want me to just cancel and come home now?

No, fine. Just after lunch is good.

Whether Nate believes him or not, he doesn’t know, but he drops back to lay his head down on the pillow, watching Mina watch him right back. “Okay, honey. Dad will be home after lunch. So we just have to… to make this work for a few hours, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy. I’ll be right back.” With that, Mina throws RiffRaff onto the bed next to Danny and goes running back out. All he can do is lay there, feeling spectacularly useless, while he listens and hopes that she isn’t taking this moment to color on all the walls or break a bunch of things or learn how to set the house on fire.

When she finally returns, she is dragging her small travel suitcase - the one with some kind of cartoon character whose name he can’t remember - behind her like an overworked flight attendant at the end of a long day. “Okay… Daddy…” Mina says, comically out of breath. “I brought… everything.”

He realizes she never actually zipped the suitcase when she simply overturns the whole thing and Danny stares, trapped on the bed, as it opens up and dumps a chaotic mixture of toys and food and her favorite blankets onto his bedroom floor.

“Jesus Christ, Mina,” Danny whispers, eyes wide.

“Jesus Christ, Superstar,” Mina sings happily in response. Not a single note is on key, and Danny thinks maybe adoption doesn’t matter and Mina is his child too. “Do you think you’re what they say you are? Okay, Daddy, I got… I got us stuff for sick. Can I get up on the bed with you?”

Danny looks at the roughly mound-shaped pile of things on the floor, then slowly up at his daughter. “Can we… can we do something about all your stuff first?”

“It’s your stuff, too. Look!” Mina digs into the pile with enthusiasm, and the first thing she pulls out is Danny’s bottle of pain medication.

Hi, I’m Daniel Michaelson, and my baby brings me my fucking pain meds. Pin the medal on the father of the fucking year.

“Oh my God,” Danny whispers. Someone is going to psychically know this happened and he’ll lose her, and he can’t lose her, not because of his stupid back, not because of goddamn Abraham fucking Denner-

“I pushed a chair up to the counter and climbed up and got in the special cupboard,” Mina says seriously, giving him the bottle. He takes it with shaking fingers, his heart so gripped with guilt it’s like it has to work harder to beat. “Where you keep medicine. I can open the lock now and I put my feet in the sink!”

Danny is going to hell for being a bad father, he knows it. He knows it, and he knows your four-year-old stood in your sink to dig out your fucking pills, you fucking whiner is going to be the first thing the Devil says to him.

Maybe he’ll get to suffer right next to Abraham.

Maybe Abraham’s the demon set to make him sorry for everything all over again.

“Daddy, stop,” Mina says, looking a little nervous at the look on Danny’s face. “Dad always gets you medicine when your back is bad. Am I in time-out?”

“Um. Uh… no, honey. Just… just don’t do that, um, again. And don’t ever, ever tell Dad you know how to get into the medicine cabinet. Okay?”

“Okay.” Mina drops back down to the pile, and brings up a small bottle of the cold brew they buy in a pack of six at the store. She hands that to Danny, too, taking to her work with perfect seriousness. All he can do is watch her as he swallows two pills dry and then washes them down with the coffee.

There.

An hour, and he’ll be able to move around in the bed, at least, even if he’ll still hurt too badly to get all the way up. His back is like that - on bad days you can’t get rid of the pain, only make it a little less debilitating. Most bad days he can keep himself moving through sheer momentum, and everyone tells him he must be feeling better and he doesn’t know how to tell them that his baseline changed, back when Abraham first held him captive - he and Nate in the woods in Canada.

Long before the blade broke off in his back, there were days of bruises, battering, and beating. He starved and never slept and hurt like hell.

People think pain ebbs and flows, but the tide is never fully out for Danny. There is always a whisper of oceanwater promising a later tsunami.

While he lays there watching her, Mina picks out her stuffies and loveys, one by one, and begins to lay them throughout the bed. In the backyard, distantly, Danny hears Toto barking - the high-pitched bark that means he’s treed something again. At least somebody is having fun, Danny thinks.

“Okay, Daddy,” Mina says, laying a series of stuffed animals carefully around his head and lightly against his shoulders as he forces himself to shift onto his back on the bed, closing his eyes against the way the pain drains all the blood from his face and his fingers, leaving everything cold and numb as it’s his spine where the nerves light up in fire. “You can have RiffRaff today, and Mister Bones, and Zombie Monkey, and She-Ra, and Ugly, and Bo. I’m going to keep the rest.”

Danny takes a deep breath. “Honey, did you leave any of your animals in your room?”

“No,” Mina answers with a shrug. She clambers back down and comes back with her tablet, which she smacks down a little too hard on Danny’s stomach. He winces and hisses, and her eyes go wide. “Oh, your tummy is sick? I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“N-No, baby, it’s okay. It’s… yikes. I’ll pull a, um, a movie up for you, okay?”

“Princess movie!”

“Can we… watch literally anything else, baby?”

Mina juts her lower lip out and sets her jaw. “Princess movie, Daddy.” She says, stubbornly. When Danny responds with silence and a raised eyebrow, she lets the pout go and gives him a disarming, charming smile instead. “I mean, Daddy-can-I-please-watch-princesses?” She asks, batting her eyelashes and everything, the words all run together the way she always does when she has to ask nicely.

Danny sighs, but it’s with a smile on his face. “Yeah, okay, honey. What else do you have on the floor?”

“Um, some toys, and… this!” Mina holds up two matching Lunchables in the air like she’s declaring victory.

Honestly, she probably is.

“Lunchables for breakfast, huh?” Well, there are worse things in the world, Danny thinks to himself. At least it’s not drugs, right? Yeah, there’s a good bar for good parenting, whether or not your four year old prefers Lunchables or… cocaine or something.

“I need these fucking pills to kick in,” Danny mutters, not realizing he’s speaking out loud until Mina turns to look at him, wide-eyed.

“Daddy,” She says, sounding absolutely scandalized. “You’re not supposed to say that word anymore, Dad said-”

“I know what Dad said,” Danny says, gesturing carefully with one arm, moving as few of his back muscles as possible to do it. “Climb on up here, honey. Let’s do Lunchables. I’ll put a dollar in the jar when I can stand up, okay?”

She nods and climbs up with him. Danny carefully opens the Lunchables for her with his teeth gritted. There’s another thing they didn’t tell him, before it was his life - that sometimes even doing tiny things like tearing the perforated opening off the side of a cardboard Lunchables box could hurt so badly. People think they know what a backache is.

They don’t know.

But then Mina takes the Capri Sun and puts it aside and makes herself a tiny ham-and-cheese sandwich using the little cracker in the box, and some of Danny’s stubborn self-pity starts to slide away, eroded by her cheerful smile. “Elsa with the water horse?” She asks. “Can we do that princess movie?”

“Frozen 2,” Danny corrects absently, scanning through the Disney movies on the tablet with casual swipes of his finger. She never asks for the new princess movies, only the ones from before she was born. Once the movie starts, the sound small and tinny coming from the tablet, Danny settles himself back against the pillows and hands her the screen. She pulls out his arm - he holds back the sounds of pain at the stretch of muscle - and then snuggles in against his side, pulling RiffRaff back into her own lap, her fuzzy black hair brushing softly against the roughened scar tissue on Danny’s neck.

He manages to turn his head and kiss her, on the top of her head. “Just a few hours until Dad gets home,” Danny whispers. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll be a better Daddy tomorrow.”

He hopes.

Mina is watching the opening previews and doesn’t look at him or even seem to hear what he said.

By ten, Danny’s been able to get up and use the bathroom, at least, and brush his teeth. That’s his second victory, he decides, in a day where they don’t come easy.

Around eleven, right in the middle of Nate giving the lecture he’s been working so hard on, Danny and Mina fall asleep listening to The Princess and the Frog, a firefly singing to the evening star.

Nate comes home at half past noon with the ramen in hand. He sets it down on the kitchen table and lets Toto back in, the scruffy shelter dog all wagging tails and half-wild jumps. Nate gets him slowly calmed down, and listens. “D-Danny? You around?”

Nothing.

“Mina? Baby? Where are you and D-Daddy?”

Still nothing. Nate frowns - Danny hadn’t answered his text asking what kind of ramen he wanted, and he’d thought maybe Danny was playing with Mina in the toyroom and hadn’t heard - but when he checks, they aren’t in there either.

Finally, he heads upstairs, and halfway up he realizes he can hear the tinny sounds of music coming from their bedroom. He stops in the doorway to stare down at a small, scattered pile of plastic horses, a tiny baby doll, dollhouse furniture, and at least one Pegasus next to his daughter’s suitcase for when they travel to see Danny’s parents.

There’s a soft exhalation, and he turns to look at his husband and daughter asleep on the bed.

The tablet has been discarded, off to the empty side of the king-sized bed. It’s still playing the menu for one of the Disney movies, although Nate can’t remember which one this menu screen is for.

Danny is on his side, with his knees curled, some of the age fallen off of his face His hair is a mess of bright red with hints of silver over his eyes - he’s had silvery strands in his hair since Alberta, the first time Abraham held him - and spread out across the pillows. His hands aren’t up to cover his head - he hasn’t done that in a few years now.

Instead, he has one hand curled up against himself, and the other arm flung over his sleeping daughter. Mina has her head under his chin, on her side as well, and her face is buried against his neck and his collarbone. The two of them breathe nearly in unison, and they are absolutely suffocating in Mina’s favorite stuffed animals and the remains of empty Lunchables packages.

Next to the bed, on the side table, is a half-drunk bottle of iced coffee and Danny’s pain medication. Nate swallows - Danny never takes pills until it’s so bad he can’t move or Nate forces him to. Too afraid, even now, that taking a few pills would lead him right back to relying on fuzzying up his mind to shake away the memories that still threaten when the room is dark.

Nate considers just closing the door and heading back downstairs to eat alone, but Toto comes barreling past his legs and runs into the room, taking a bodily leap onto the bed, all forty pounds of him trying to wriggle between Danny and Mina to try and lick both their faces at once.

Danny jerks awake, eyes fluttering and blinking rapidly, pushing instinctively back Mina groans and rolls over, scooting away, trying to slip right back to sleep the way kids sometimes do.

“H-Hey, Toto,” Danny slurs, getting his hands on the excited dog and gently moving him back. “Hey, bud, how did you get inside…”

“I let him in,” Nate says softly, and Danny turns to look at him. His face is pale and drawn, but the smile when he greets Nate is real.

“Oh, hey,” Danny says, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “Sorry to call you home early, I just-... it’s just not a good day for my back. Mina and I decided to… to just take a break in here-”

“Danny, you’ve been in here all day, haven’t you?” Nate sighs. “Don’t l-lie to me.”

“It’s fine,” Danny says, shaking his head. Mina groans again, but her eyes are open now, and she rolls back over. “It’s fine, I’ll do better tomorrow, I’ll… I’ll try harder-”

“Danny,” Nate says, firmly, and it’s only then that Danny seems to realize what he just said. His face pales a little more, making the healing muzzle scars stand out in a ring around his face. “You don’t h-have to. I don’t m-m-mind coming home.”

“Hello, Dad,” Mina says blearily, scooting back to Danny now that Toto is safely sitting far enough back to give her spot back to her, snuggling right back into him. “Did you bring food?”

“I d-did, honey. Have you and Daddy had fun this morning?”

Danny winces, guilt written clearly across his face. “I’ll be better tomorrow, I’ll do better, I can... can try harder-”

“Danny, stop it,” Nate says, a little more edged this time.

“We had so much fun, Dad,” Mina says cheerfully, and Danny turns to look at her, surprised. “We ate Lunchables for breakfast. I always want to and you never let me! And Daddy said a bad word so he has to put money in the jar again-”

“Hey, you said you wouldn’t tell,” Danny says with fake anger, and Mina makes a face at him until he smiles.

“And I got to have all my friends in your bed even though I’m not supposed to and we watched princess movies and I got to pick the movies and Daddy played Stuffy Fight with me!”

“So you d-did have fun,” Nate says gently, and Mina nods.

Danny sits back, closing his eyes briefly, and Nate watches the way his face stills, and knows he’s holding back emotion that wants to write itself there that he doesn’t want to show. Nate sits down, lightly resting on the side of the bed, and slides a hand behind Danny’s head, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“Don’t s-sell yourself short,” Nate says gently. “You’re a g-g-good dad, Daniel Michaelson. Even on b-bad days. But… call me n-next time. Listen to me. You’re a good dad.”

There’s a pause.

Then Mina leans slowly over and says, “I got Daddy’s pills down from the cabinet for him.”

Nate turns to look at her, blinking, as Danny groans and puts his hands up over his eyes. “Oh my God, Mina, I did not ask you and you promised not to tell-”

“Okay,” Nate says, with exaggerated patience. “I am going to pr-pretend I did not h-h-hear either of the things either of y-you just said, and go g-g-get the trays and our r-r-ramen and gyoza. Please n-n-never explain it to me. Ever.”

Danny nods without taking his hands down.

Nate gets all the way downstairs, gets the food settled on the TV trays, and Danny has slurped up his first bite of noodles when Nate finally sighs and says, “You know wh-what, I lied - I need to know exactly how you explain-”

“I didn’t tell Daddy until after I did it,” Mina says brightly, picking up the little fried dumpling with her fingers.

“... and there it is. Let’s eat b-b-before I panic, at l-least.”

“I know how to open the special lock! I can open under the sink now, too!”

“... okay, too l-late, I’m panicking now.”

#whump #I feel like I want to call this parenting whump #emotional whump #trauma recovery whump #tw: chronic pain #tw: references to past torture #original fiction #dad fluff #epilogue #mina vandrum #mina and her dads #writing #oblique references to things that haven't happened in the Bad Arc yet

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fanoffandomss · 4 years

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CRESCENT CITY SPOILERS BELOW

I absolutely loved Crescent City, Bryce is a badass and I am so in love with her.

I sobbed when Danika and the pack died, I closed to book before I read it because I knew where it was heading and looked at my mom and said “If I stop reading rn then nothing has to happen:)” while crying

I LOVE HUNT everything about him I love

The twists holy crap my jaw dropped

I cried so hard when Lehabah died her death broke me

I was laugh crying when Hunt called Bryce a coward while she was going through the drop for saying she loved him while he was basically dead

Mama Ember is a queen and deserves the best

Connor made me sob on so many occasions and Ithans character arc/redemption made me so happy

The fact that Sabine was kind of upset they thought she murdered her daughter gave me chills

Hunt is precious and is such a deep and amazing character

This book felt like it was 3 separate books in the best way possible

The FUCKING UNICORNS HAD ME LAUGHING LIKE A NUT AT 3AM

I CANT WAIT FOR THEIR SEXYTIMES OML

the quote “you look how I feel most days” WRECKED ME

Hunt being chill in sweatpants and watching a sports game made me smile

I love the modern fantasy murder mystery

I was actually shocked that it was Micah who killed the Pack and that he was the one Bryce saved that day

WHEN THE SYRINX LITERALLY BIT HUNT IN THE ASS

THEY BETTER RESCUE VIKTORIA FROM THE TRENCH

The fact that Hunt stopped thinking about Shahar and stopped feeling guilty about her because of hunt BROKE ME AND MADE ME WHOLE ALL AT ONCE

there is NO WAY that Bryce and Hunt aren’t endgame

I was genuinely shocked about Bryces powers

Ruhn and Bryces relationship made me so so happy and sad but mainly happy

Ruhn is so so so amazing I love him, he made my heart break so many times

Fury and Juniper🥺I WANT TO KNOW MORE

The world building was beautiful

I can’t get over how much I loved the modern take on a typically more victorian old days style of this concept I loved the phones and the music and the clubs every about it made me so happy it made me feel more connected with there characters

Bryce got to say all the fucks Aelin didn’t and I FUCKING LOVED IT

Aelin, Rhys, and Bryce would be besties

Rowan, Feyre, and Hunt would be besties too

Hunt and Cassian brotp

Amren and Fury would be terrifying

Juniper and Elian would melt my heart

Aedion and Ruhn complaining about their self sacrificing “cousins” then talking about war and fighting stuff

Bryces bitch dad and Luciens asshole not really his dad but he still doesn’t know (sarah when tf will he know) dad would be...friends? if asshats like that even have freinds

Everything about this book is so beautiful and perfect and I can’t wait for the next one

#crescent city spoilers #crescent city #hunt athalar #hunt and bryce #bryce quinlan #danika fendyr #ruhn danaan

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f-117-nighthawk · 4 years

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I’m in a Playlist Mood

I was scrolling through my dark matter tag looking for something I made a while ago to reference in the next chapter of Carry Me Home and ran across my last playlist explanation post. It put me in the mood to think about this again, and I’ve added...a lot. The playlist might’ve actually doubled in length since then (Thank You Abyss) and I’ve moved some stuff around in order. So, more playlist meta under the cut (it’s LONG)

So first thing: I’ve actually created two new playlists (well, one new one and actually made the third playlist have more than two tracks) since that post jhadsfljd. Working forwards in time (kinda), we have:

Dark Matter: The Road to Ruin

The Road to Ruin is the Main Playlist, the thing I use to write to, the thing I lie in bed and listen to to think up new things, and half the thing that keeps the timeline in place (it’s actually more updated than World Anvil rn whoops). Here we have overarching plot hooks, character development, and the story of six Paladins and their friends trying to save the universe.

Turn the Lights Out I sort of explained in the last post and I can’t think of too much more to add. The TLDR is it’s about the Lions (and, well, technically [REDACTED] too....) and sort of why I refer to a fully-melded Lion-Paladin duo as Spirits.

(I was here/Will you welcome and recognize me/I'll be there/I was here/Will you dread me, will you despise me/I'll be there/For the last living thing)

Remnants of Stars is again about Galran philosophy and the actual process of the quintessence nurseries filtering quintessence back into the universe. But the bit about giving in to know the truth becomes important much, MUCH later.

(As children of space/With stardust in our veins/We will give in to know the truth/We are the remnants of stars)

Your World Will Fail, Dark Matter, and Eater of Worlds are about [REDACTED], about what happens between that instant between the first plank time and the next. They’re an overarching theme, but also the event that everything else builds from, whether that be interpreted as the beginning of the universe or the Voltron comet crashing into Daibazaal.

(Your world will fail my love/It’s far beyond repair/Your world will fail my love/It is already there)

(Bring me your soul/Bring me your hate/In my name you will create/Bring me your fear/Bring me your pain/You will destroy in my name)

(Can’t imagine the violence/The rage and the love in my madness/I am the eater of worlds and I’m looking for someone to feed me)

Apocalypse 1992 is actually the main story of Through Apocalypse Skies, although its framing story is shortly after String Theory. It happens between parts of Awakenings, detailing the rise of [REDACTED] and the final hours before the destruction of everything sentient species knew beforehand.

(Fly high through apocalypse skies/Fight for the world we must save/Like tears of a unicorn lost in the rain/Chaos will triumph this day)

You Keep What You Kill covers the slow degeneration of the Empire between The Fall and the Battle of Arus. The knowledge harshly taught by the Thuanial War is forgotten under the influence of Zarkon, Haggar, and [REDACTED]. Marzin and Galraasa quickly rise the ranks as the Empire’s left and right hands, like omens of destruction before them. The four are the ‘holy half-dead,’ the ones who shape the devouring of the universe before them.

(Defying dimensions/These ruthless creatures will steal your soul/Breaking away from the chains of mortality/They won't be taken down/Bow now to the holy half dead/The master to death mongers calls)

The Seven Sisters is about Keith, mostly, and connected to Closure via its influence on Child From the Stars (Lost in the Dark) and also to Memories of a Girl I Haven’t Met

(I cast my hope upon The Pleiades/The Seven Sisters who would come for me/They'd fall to Earth to grant a child's dream/But I'm still waiting)

Starlight is the newly added Adashi song. Here, it’s the sad part, based around the time that the SFSS Genesis launches for Kerberos. It also is sort of about Shiro’s thoughts throughout the war as he watches ‘from distant skies’ (and influences String Theory kinda)

(At night the earth will rise/And I'll think of you each time I watch from distant skies/Whenever stars go down and galaxies ignite/I'll think of you each time they wash me in their light/And I'll fall in love with you again)

Abyss is Awakenings again. It’s specifically the Red Lion waking up on Sendak’s ship to her new Paladin, but also sort of the rest of the Lions as they find new Paladins for the first time since The Fall

(Open my eyes in a daze/How long has it been? Am I so out of place?/Warmth I can no longer feel/My mountain is gone, I'm surrounded by steel/The strangest of structures arises ahead/Seems to be held up by nothing/Where have I gone, do I dream?/How can the stars be all I can see?)

Who Will Save You Now is about the Paladins in First Contact. It’s the video messages they send to their families, the warning that Something Is Out Here that they need to prepare for. It’s a declaration of protection for Earth, but a recognition that the Paladins may not be able to do what they say.

(I will not take from you and you will not owe/I will protect you from the fire below/It's not in my mind/It's here at my side/Go tell the world that I'm still alive)

The End of the Beginning and Nobody Gets Left Behind are the aftermath of the Battle of the Sarnan Nebula, the end of season two. The End of the Beginning hasn’t been posted yet, but it’s also the second of the four Closure fics. The End of the Beginning also has influence on String Theory.

(Every night I die just a little/All this time, I'm caught in the middle/All your life, you fought with no winning/This is just the end of the beginning)

(Don't even try to pretend/That you're rough and just as tough/As when you're missing a friend/Attack and take him back/Cause when the team isn't whole/You've got a hole in your soul)

A Simple Plan is sort of part of The End of the Beginning, but really takes place after it. It’s the newly shuffled Team Voltron attempting to track down Lotor as Haggar tries to keep him under her control, and the new Black Paladin’s slow shift away from the things that he was pushed into and to the Blade. (And... guess what... it has influence on String Theory!) Fun fact I found out recently: The Spiritual Machines are by and large also the people behind Les Friction, which explains so much.

(What is this space we’re climbing/What is this place we’re stuck in/Why do we feel we’re sinking/How do we get out – get out of this)

Memories of a Girl I Haven’t Met skips all the way over Naxzela and to the Mission to the Baaria Shipyards, the first major offensive that isn’t somehow connected to canon (even if only a very very small part of it is actually at the shipyards lol). This is also the song that solidified Keith’s very queer identity in Dark Matter.

(In this lonely place, bathed in silence and thoughts of you/I can't see your face but I'm trying to envision you/So are you really out there? Are you awake with memories/Of a boy you haven't met yet who's wished upon the Pleiades?)

TRIALS (reimagine) and String Theory are.... hoh boy. [REDACTED], [spoilers], and the turning point for a lot of things, which is why it has the honor of being the separating fic between my two main Dark Matter folders. TRIALS being on here is a fun story, because I associate that song very heavily with my main Star Wars fics, since that’s where the series title comes from, but the reimagine version of it gave me such strong Dark Matter vibes, it ended up here. It has heavy influence on the first part of String Theory, and is what I’ve been using for general pacing of the first half. String Theory itself isn’t the weirdest song on the playlist, but it’s really hard to find the connections to it without several layers of abstraction and backstory on [REDACTED]. String Theory is also weaved into a good chunk of fics before it.

(The ending won't be forgotten/It's written in the stars and the hieroglyphs/Sending the lionhearted/The stones break bones, but we're venomous)

(You don't believe in space/You don't believe in light/You don't believe that anything is well beyond your might/We walk across the sky and beneath the ocean floor/We're never going anywhere we've never been before)

House on Fire is the aftermath of String Theory, and a large vibe of We ARE Struggling Together! (Rise Against says it’s about parenting???? lol fuck that) (okay but actually, switch the parental love part to sibling love/general familial love and that’s a pretty good description....)

(So I'll just hold you like a hand grenade/You touch me like a razor blade/I wish there was some other way right now/Like a house on fire we're up in flames/I'd burn here if that's what it takes/To let you know I won't let go of you)

Belgrade is the klance song! It is a) bop b) always stuck in my head because it is That Good. The line in the chorus about ‘sweet songs of seduction’ is eternally funny to be bc a)they’re both ace and b)QPR’s don’t usually involve seduction as far as I know. Belgrade also leads almost directly into...

(We pretend in the darkness/We pretend the night won’t steal our youth/Singing me the sweet songs of seduction/Let me be the fool, fool, fool/Who will live and die for you)

Here to Save You is about Sam. Mostly. It’s also about Pidge. And Zaivorge cannons.

(A slave for humankind/I made sure I would survive/To stay alive/Now it's time to move on/When there's nothing left to prove/I'm coming to get you)

Iron is what eventually replaced Ten Thousand Against One. The plot has actually changed a lot since it was that song like. two years ago (three?) at this point. It has more of a focus on Keith knowing what’s going on due to [spoilers] and coming to accept parts of himself that are suddenly very obvious (kiiiinda the third closure fic?)

(You can't live without the fire/It's the heat that makes you strong/'Cause you're born to live/And fight it all the way/You can't hide what lies inside you/It's the only thing you know/You're embracing that, never walk away)

Birthright and Firewall are not exactly a direct result of Iron, but they wouldn’t happen how they do without it. They’re actually largely about Lotor, but then [REDACTED] swings back into the fray and things learned in String Theory/the framing story for Through Apocalypse Skies hit in full force.

(The voices in my head have all begun to sing/(The voices in your head have all begun to sing)/And they sure as hell hope I am listening/(I sure as hell hope you are listening!))

(They come to your dreams with illusion/They come to bring shape to your mind/You know how to stop the intrusion/We all have to fight for our lives)

and then, The Day the Earth Collapsed

(How much time has been elapsed/Since the day the earth collapsed?)

Here Comes the Reign doesn’t come into full effect until several months after Birthright/Firewall after Galraasa meets their fate, but starts with The Day the Earth Collapsed. It’s largely about Haggar and [REDACTED]

(You made something they can't take away/Now bring the fire of the burning sun on everyone)

Closure is placed where the fourth of its fics is. Closure in general is a lot of Keith’s character development and some of the struggles he goes through to accept his place in the universe and the fact that yes, he does have people that care about him. The last fic is me shining a brighter light on Closure’s chorus and taking a ‘last goodbye’ as never needing to say it again

(I am the child from the stars/That got lost in the dark/Between heaven and hell/I am forced to live on/I am the cause when you sin/I am the demon you skin/But there is no more tears to beautify/This is my last goodbye)

Ember and Soulbound are two closely related missions involving both Voltron and the Blade (specifically the Dark Whispers) in which [REDACTED] comes in with a vengeance, and some revelations about certain people’s fates are had. Soulbound is actually sort of from Krolia’s perspective.

(Dark matter falling from the sky/Dancing flames reflecting in your eyes as you watch them burn/Watching all your riches witches burn)

(Soulbound, endlessly forever/Locked between the darkness and the light/Don't drown in the swarming, blackened rising/Hold on to humanity and fight)

Darker Matter and Other Worlds Than These are. Well. [REDACTED] and [spoilers] and String Theory’s revelations rearing their ugly head once again, but this time with extra context and just a little bit of [spoiler]

(Dream yourself away/The pull of you shredding time and space)

(There are monsters in the sky/There are demons in the sea/I have seen them with my eyes/I've seen what you won't see/Pull the wool out from your eyes/It won't shade your frail belief/In the end we cannot hide/There are other worlds than these)

Godhunter is a fun one. The combined effects of String Theory, Soulbound, and Darker Matter/Other Worlds Than These come to a head and Team Voltron goes, well, hunting.

(She's been watching for a century/With hatred, and with scorn/If you know the hunter's coming/Then you hide or keep on running/'Cause she's slain the gods before)

My Darkest Hour is revenge for Godhunter, as well as a distraction from it, although Godhunter continues all the way to Louder than Words.

(When the sun comes crashing down/When the world is spinning round and round/I will face what must be my darkest hour)

Faster Than Light is almost direct aftermath of My Darkest Hour, and sort of the inverse of Godhunter, where now Team Voltron are the hunted, even as they attempt to continue hunting. Oh and, Marzin and [REDACTED] are big parts

(Once more we're flying fast as light/Dark matter passing in the night/Pursued by a force we can't outrun/As we hurtle towards a dying sun/We maneuver through the remnants of a moon/On the solar winds of supernovas/There is not a place to hide, the Matriarch is close behind/It's plain to see she's coming for us all)

The Reckoning, This is a Call, World on Fire, The Wind that Shapes the Land, and Louder Than Words are the finale, what everything has been building towards. Earth’s faction, Haggar, [REDACTED], Voltron, the Empire, and the Coalition, all clash together in a final desperate bid to finish or prevent the final result of Your World Will Fail/Dark Matter/Eater of Worlds.

(I see your face, find peace of mind/Between the madness and the sadness and the fire burning/The end of war, the great divine/We'll see the day of reckoning)

(This is a call to action/This is a call to arms/All lives for one, together/There are no false alarms)

(World on fire with a smoking sun/Stops everything and everyone/Brace yourself for all will pay/Help is on the way)

(Search within/Uncover the will to win/Turn against the tide that washes o'er/Find the strength to fall and rise again/Open up the gates, unleash the force/I am the wind that shapes the land/Old as time and twice as strong/Oceans arise at my command/I alone can carry on)

(We have the force to fight/We have the blinding light/A war is more than heard/Coming in louder than words)

Dystopian Fiction

Dystopian Fiction is focused on what happens on Earth during the main playlist. I split it out because putting stuff like Cross the Line on the main playlist was getting clunky, and I figure Adam and Veronica (and the rest of the Paladins’ families, but mostly those two) deserve a chance for their story to shine on its own.

Dark Matter is on here because title track, but also it does end up with effects.

(Don't stop, don't think/Move up, don't blink now/On your knees pray for rain/Don't breathe when you take your aim)

Codebreaker is Adam’s song! I have him primarily as a cryptologist for the Garrison, teaching on the side and as a reserve pilot. Aviators says Codebreaker is actually about Cyperpunk 2077 but uhhh Fuck That it’s about Adam being The Best and dealing with...

(Codebreaker can't you find/Can you read between the lines of code?/Tell me all that you know/How far down the hole does it all go)

Cross the Line is the Éskhayklos’ image song. They’re a neo-luddite movement turned terrorist group that are upset with the way the Sol Federation is trying to fix Earth, stating that humans are the one that pushed it into this state, they should leave it to die and die along with it. Akane Shirogane was their worst nightmare. Cross the Line fits because, well, they crossed the line when [spoiler beep] and they were happy about it. (And “human cause” comes into play later when they pick up anti-alien leanings)

(Cross the line, redefine, break away unbent, unafraid/Together we stand in the dark/Seeking the light and what is right, together we cross the line/Our journey will come to an end and then our human cause will be/Justified)

Who Will Save You Now here is about Sam, and the aftermath of Here to Save You, in addition to its referenced role in the main playlist

(Alone with this vision/Alone and blind/Go tell the world I'm still alive)

The Day the Earth Collapsed is exactly what it says on the tin.

(How much time has been elapsed/Since the day the earth collapsed?)

Dystopian Fiction is the title track for this part. With the events of The Day the Earth Collapsed, the Garrison and our heroes on Earth are at their lowest point. It really is a piece of dystopian fiction, between [spoiler] and [spoiler]. And also: “Nobody can shoot me down, not just yet” is about Adam bc Fuck Canon

(I'm a dead man/In the wasteland/I'm a soldier fighting for superstition/Under search lights/In the long nights/We've been written like dystopian fiction)

The Reckoning is the only one of its little subset that made it over here, because it’s the only one that references events from before its eponymous fic (both verses are Very Earth)

(We're all alone, walking in twilight/The night has been long and so many have fallen/Feel no remorse, light will be breaking/Our freedom is worth it all)

Filaments

Filaments is the least complete, mostly because it’s the ‘sequel series’ of sorts. I have ideas for it, but I still haven’t posted most of the major story beats from the main portion of Dark Matter, so I’ve been purposefully putting it on the backburner. I do have enough to write Carry Me Home and put some foreshadowing in other fics.

Dark Matter is here because, well. A) Title track, B) yes, it still has effects. It’s the overarching theme, after all. Filaments sort of has a subtitle itself, which is ‘The Undoing,’ after the other part of the lyric that the subtitle of the main playlist comes from. It’s about undoing a past mistake (that wasn’t obviously a mistake until much later) and reconciling the events of Your World Will Fail.

(I am the keeper/I am the secret/I am the answer/I am the end)

Filaments is the title track of this part. It’s... a little hard to explain why without giving away the entire plot (what little I have planned lol) but it’s about the connections between different parts of the universe, and some fall-out of Darker Matter/Other Worlds Than These.

(These glowing filaments/Conducting this enchanting/Sarcophagus that's holding us)

Starlight is, again, Adashi song, and this time the happy part

(Don't leave me lost here forever/I need your starlight and pull me through/Bring me back to you)

Carry Me Home is what I’m in the process of writing right now, and it’s about the aftermath of the Quintessence War, specifically about how Shiro decides to settle down on Earth and what he does to build himself a home.

(Carry me home to the morning light/carry me home before you wave me goodbye/Oh, carry me home...)

#i am dark matter; your road to ruin #wow it's 2am #i spent like three hours on this #playlist #enjoy the spotify links #i really did not realize just how much I've added to the playlist this year #it's abyss's fault #i just. really love the playlist #it is my masterpiece #my brother makes fun of me for this but like #you DON'T make super complicated playlists for stories??#i reiterate i really really love this thing #anyway i should. sleep #i mean the semester is over i cn stay up till two but that doesn't mean it's wise #can't wait for me to finally post everything so i can gush about the playlist without smatterings of [REDACTED] tags when it shows up #DM Playlists

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luv-surveys · 4 years

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Do you wear a ring on your finger? no. Do you expect to be married in the next two years? no way. What is your favorite type of cookie? chocolate chip. Are you allergic to pollen? yes, my allergies have gotten worse over the past couple years unfortunately :( Do you have more upper or lower body strength? more lower. Do you like hot tubs? yes they’re fun! Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? not to my knowledge. Have you ever donated money to a charity? yes. What was the last movie you’ve seen in theaters? i believe it was the live action aladdin. Do you prefer Apple or Android? apple. Do you like the color lime green? yes, but not neon lime green. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? i’ve never seen them. What movie scared you the most out of any other movies? probably “house on haunted hill” or something like that. Tell me something you’ve been made fun of for in the past. i’ve been made fun of for my height. Do you support war? it depends. Have you ever wanted to be on American Idol? When was this? no. Do you like kissing lightly better than just making out? nah, i prefer making out. You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? it’d probably be my friend kylie. Do you attend school, college, or university? i attend college/university. Name 5 things you don’t believe in. 1) love at first sight, 2) soulmates, 3) polytheism, 4) reincarnation, 5) the existence of bigfoot. If you could have any friend that you’ve lost back, who would you pick? probably my friend eva. When was the last time you did something for the first time? i listened to a song for the first time about 30 minutes ago. Do you have blinds in your bedroom? not my bedroom at home, no. When was the last time you had an interview? How did it go? march, for a job. it went well, but covid happened and everything got messed up. What was the most damaging relationship (romantic or not) that you’ve ever been a part of? probably my friendship with a girl that bullied me in high school. Who was the last person you cut out of your life? Do you regret it? i cut my ex out, and i don’t regret it because he treats me poorly. Who is the most attractive person you know personally? personally, i think a girl i know from high school is the prettiest person i know. Do you remember the first time you truly enjoyed sex? Or have you always? i’ve never had sex LOL. Have you ever done anything sexual in a car? yes if making out counts. What do you wish you had been better prepared for? my college auditions. Do you know anyone with a semicolon tattoo? nope. Who knows you best, excluding romantic partners? my parents. The last news you got that shocked you, what was it, and was it good news or bad news? probably that somebody was in a relationship with somebody, which is good news ig. If you have pets, who normally puts food and water in their dish? my mom does unless she’s away; then i do. Do you organize the pictures on your computer into different folders or are they all just under “My Pictures”? they’re all unorganized. Do you think if someone is in a relationship, that it is acceptable to have sleepovers with other people of their preferred sex? yes, but as long as there are no feelings whatsoever. Would you shoot a gun if given the chance? If you’ve shot a gun before, how many different types of guns have you shot? i would NOT shoot a gun lol. Do you feel uncomfortable sharing things like artwork or poetry you’ve written? Is it because you don’t think it’s good enough to show off or because it’s too personal? yes, i don’t like showing it off because it’s probably not good enough. For those who have anxiety, has anyone ever told you that you just need to calm down and actually face your fears? Were you insulted or frustrated by this comment? yes and it was both insulting and frustrating. Do you have any siblings you absolutely despise? Why do you despise them? no, i love my siblings! Do knives scare you? Is it from watching scary movies? they make me unsettled, but not from scary movies, just anxiety. Say lyrics from the song currently playing? “no time to regret this, what we’ve done” If you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? i’d probably get a nose piercing. How many closets does your house have?  there’s seven closets, i think. What has been your most epic cooking failure?  i made cookies and they didn’t work and melted all over the pan and oven lol. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on?  i don’t think i’ve ever spent over $100 on a single item. Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? no. What is your LEAST favorite Disney animated movie? i don’t like the older ones, like pinocchio. Who was the last person’s house you went to besides your own? the guy i’m seeing’s house. Do you enjoy the birds’ singing in the morning? yes it’s lovely! List these apple types from greatest to least greatest: red, yellow, green. I’d say red, green, yellow. On YouTube, who are two people you find hilarious? i love jennxpenn’s videos, as well as pewdiepie. If you had to live in a palace, what would be the color scheme? probably red and gold. Favorite dinosaur? i love pterodactyls! What is the best part of fall? the tastes and smells. Favorite style of hat? probably just baseball caps. How do you eat Oreos? i used to split them and eat them separately but now i eat them whole. Name the first vine that you can think of. i coulda dropped my croissant! Beyonce vs Rihanna? i prefer rihanna. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. nothing, tbh! Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? never. What are your favorite smells? i love smells like lemon and grapefruit. Do you shave your pits? yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? no. What light in your house was the last to have a bulb burn out? i’m not sure since i’m not home rn. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? no. What is your favorite phase of the moon? full! What season do you want to get married in? probably spring. Besides the USA, what is your favorite country? i’ve always liked japan! Would you rather go to Europe or Asia? europe. Would you rather go to Africa or Australia? africa. Would you rather go to Mexico or Canada? canada. Are there such things as stupid questions? yes. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? yes, but my parents didn’t hear, only my sister. What’s the highest you can count in a different language? like 100 in french. Where would you like to be buried? just a local cemetery near where i grew up :) Have you ever had yourself drawn in caricature? nope. Have you ever seen a ghost orb picture? yes! Do you think abortion should be illegal? no. How many keys are on your key-ring? two. What are some piercings you want? more ear piercings, but that’s it. Dogs or cats? Why? dogs, because they’re more loving and fun. Do any of your pets have strange habits? Explain? my dog likes to eat napkins. Have you ever told an extremely inappropriate joke? dark humor, yes. What is your favorite non-traditional fruit? i like passionfruit! What’s your favorite older film? i don’t watch a lot of older films! Aliens or unicorns? unicorns. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? instagram. Would you ever get a face tattoo? no way. If you asked your mom to describe you, what do you think she’d say? she’d probably say i’m smart, caring, and hardworking. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? more love and understanding! What are you most grateful for? how good of a childhood i had. Who is the most interesting person you’ve ever met? i’ve met some people with great stories from their lives. When do you love yourself most? when i do something well haha. What would you most readily die for? my parents. What single word do you hate most? probably slurs like the n word. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? whomever i’m dating at the time. What would you most like to be remembered for after you die? my friendship. What’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had in bed? in bed? or in bed? if we’re just talking about in bed, waking up with my retainer under the sheets at the foot of my bed when it had been in my mouth when i fell asleep. What is the most sacred thing in your life? my religion. Who have you most feared in your life? probably my bullies. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? i’d say my roommate. What single word would you use to most accurately describe your parents? wise. What is the worst word anyone ever used to describe you? probably immature LMAO.

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moviestorian · 4 years

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hello! soo rn i’m watching the pianist on netflix and i was wondering if you’ve seen it and what it means to you being polish? also what other biopics that you’ve seen would you recommend watching videos - 🦄 (the film anon

Hello dear film anon! :)))) I’m really happy to see you again! Shall you keep attaching the unicorn emoji to your asks so that I can recognize you? :))))

I ADORE The Pianist! I’ve seen it many times and it’s definitely one of the earliest war films I saw in my life (insofar). It had quite a huge impact on me - I don’t remember how exactly old I was first saw it, but it made an impression memorable enough to imprint the movie on my brain. I frequently rewatch it and I count it as one of the best World War II movies ever, I hold in a particular value because it feels to me like a very fair movie that’s neither black-and-white nor unnecessary pathos or drama, it sticks quite faithfully to its original source.

As for The Pianist’s influence on my identity as a Polish person, that’s a very interesting question because I’ve never really thought about it this way. Now that you’re asking me this, I started considering it and would say the movie (btw, it doesn’t bother me at all that the actors don’t speak Polish) actually means quite a lot to me, especially when I’m in Warsaw. It sparked my interest in World War II (I’m more into WWI these days, but for many years the other war was my absolutely favourite historical period), made me read Władysław Szpilman’s memoirs (which are brilliant btw, I totally recommend the book, especially if you like the cinematic adaptation), and then reach out for Wilm Hosenfeld’s letters and diary - I still find him a deeply fascinating person and an admirable character. Then, I already mentioned Warsaw: upon my first visit in the capital I saw Szpilman’s grave, he is also present in certain museums (such as the Warsaw Uprising Museum), so whenever I contemplate Warsaw’s fate during the Second World War and after, my thoughts frequently stray to images and events depicted in the literary and film version of The Pianist, because one could say that the city is, in a way, a character of its own (btw, before putting the final version, Szpilman wanted to name his book Death of the City, after one of the chapters). In discussions about WWII and every day life in occupied Warsaw, I tend to bring up the Pianist as well, so it had an influence on me as a historian and an academic. Finally, it definitely contributed to the fact that Nocturne No. 20 in C-sharp minor, Op. posth is my favourite of Chopin’s compositions, and whenever I hear this piece, it makes me recollect either the movie or history, specifically Warsaw between 1939 and 1945.

As for the biopics, I would totally recommend: The Elephant Man (that one is very emotionally engaging and REALLY sad, but a beautiful movie), The Favourite (stylistically a very unusual one, but really good), Downfall (2004), I, Tonya, Foxcatcher, King’s Speech, Chaplin (1992 - I saw this one ages ago, but at least RDJ’s performance is really amazing).

Thanks for this question again, I really love your asks, they are very original and stimulating! <3 Btw, please let me know what’s your opinion on the movie!

#answered #anonymous #the film anon #wera talks film #wera talks history #another new tag!#the pianist

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in-one-sockk · 5 years

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1-150 for the asks :3🦋

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? - @when-youcant-sleepat-night2. Are you outgoing or shy? - im bipolar3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - my pretty girlfriend on my birthday4. Are you easy to get along with? - I don’t know, find out5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? - begrudgingly, she hates vomit6. What kind of people are you attracted to? - butches with nice arms7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - definitely, we’re at six months!8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - Frank Iero9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - not at all10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - the moon11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? - “meanie”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - Make it Right - BTS, Summertime - MCR, bellyache - Billie Eilish, Dilbar - Neka Kakkar, This Is Home - Cavetown

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - NO I have curly hair and if you touch it or interfere with it it looks like I’ve been dragged through a bush by my ankles14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - I believe in good and bad karma15. What good thing happened this summer? - I met my girlfriend16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - yes17. Do you think there is life on other planets? - I think it’d be pretty egotistical to not18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - nahh19. Do you like bubble baths? - I like them, for like five minutes because I need to wash my hair and they get in the way20. Do you like your neighbors? - my neighbours are scared of sunlight21. What are you bad habits? - pulling away because I think I’m a burden22. Where would you like to travel? - Norway, Japan, places with blue seas and flowers23. Do you have trust issues? - I have a narcissistic mother, so yahh24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - getting into bed25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - my shoulders, they’re broad26. What do you do when you wake up? - die inside 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - neither, I don’t really think about it28. Who are you most comfortable around? - my girlfriend 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? - a lot of them, but for manipulative reasons30. Do you ever want to get married? only to @when-youcant-sleepat-night31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yeah but not a cute one32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - Brie Larson (short hair) and Erika Linder 33. Spell your name with your chin - nopee34. Do you play sports? What sports? - I used to be a swimmer, and I did trampolining and high jump, but I haven’t done sports in a while35. Would you rather live without TV or music? - TV36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - nope, I’m quite blunt37. What do you say during awkward silences? - I’m usually the awkward silent one, unless I’m high energy38. Describe your dream girl? - can cook, nice hands, sweet laugh, fairly tall, short hair, strong, patient, likes cuddles, understanding, pretty masculine energied39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - ASOS Marketplace, thrift shops, Pull&Bear, Urban Outfitters, Run & Fly, Etsy40. What do you want to do after high school? - get married, have kids, be a housewife with a greenhouse and a vegetable garden. Can I do that? Nope. 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - No, but context. If your partner hits you do they deserve a second chance? No. But you gotta let people learn and grow from their mistakes?42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - I want attention, I’m sad, scared, suicidal, tired, confused, embarrassed. So really a lot43. Do you smile at strangers? - If I like their energy44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? - I love both of these things but am also terRIFIED of both these things45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - a better day might come 46. What are you paranoid about? - money and not having enough47. Have you ever been high? - yeahh48. Have you ever been drunk? - too much49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - yeah but obviously I’m not gonna tell you50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? - Green, my favourite51. Ever wished you were someone else? - a lot of the time52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - I’d like to have a skill?hobby I could turn into a career I’d enjoy53. Favourite makeup brand? - I dont really have one, but I’ve used the exact same Rimmel London eyeliner since I was 1154. Favourite store? - Etsy55. Favourite blog? - @malnedott has a lot of cute aesthetics56. Favourite colour? - forest green57. Favourite food? - chilli with lots of sour cream (I dont like spicy food)58. Last thing you ate? - a jelly baby59. First thing you ate this morning? - a jelly baby60. Ever won a competition? For what? - I won a competition last month on “who can use the most words beginning with V and create a story that makes sense” 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? - I skipped school for a while when I was depressed62. Been arrested? For what? - nopee63. Ever been in love? - I’m very in love right now64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? - I actually can’t remember it..65. Are you hungry right now? - very, but I’m lazy66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - I have no tumblr friends, no one talks to me67. Facebook or Twitter? - neither68. Twitter or Tumblr? - Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? - nope, I’m on Skype70. Names of your bestfriends? - Non, Maya, Calli (my cat)71. Craving something? What? - a cuddle72. What colour are your towels? - I don’t actually own any72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - two!73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - a stuffed unicorn and a blanket my girlfriend gave me74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - seven?75. Favourite animal? - penguin76. What colour is your underwear? - I’m not wearing any 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? - chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? - sherbet!79. What colour shirt are you wearing? - brown ish red??80. What colour pants? - grey with batman logos81. Favourite tv show? - currently Killing Eve82. Favourite movie? - Mamma Mia 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - we don’t talk about the sequel..84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls (I’ve never seen the other one)85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? - Glenn Coco86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - The stingray bus87. First person you talked to today? - @when-youcant-sleepat-night88. Last person you talked to today? - my little sister89. Name a person you hate? - Gauge…. my old supervisor at work90. Name a person you love? - my little sister91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - Eden (my sisters ex who left her suicidal)92. In a fight with someone? - sort of.. a non-resolved ignoring of each other and93. How many sweatpants do you have? - one I think94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? - 495. Last movie you watched? - Jennifer’s Body96. Favourite actress? - Jodie Comer97. Favourite actor? - Rami Malek98. Do you tan a lot? - never99. Have any pets? - two cats and one spawn of satan with a cat face100. How are you feeling? - kinda empty rn101. Do you type fast? - when I’m high energy, but am I skilled at it? nope102. Do you regret anything from your past? - dating that teacher that one time103. Can you spell well? - awkwardly, I can spell complicated words really well, but basic words where multiple of the same letters are next to each other are evil, like, I always think there’s two F’s in professor or one D in address 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - my old best friend I guess sometimes 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - no but I’d love to!106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - my mothers maybe107. Have you ever been on a horse? - yes and they’re evil creatures108. What should you be doing? - homework109. Is something irritating you right now? - having to go cook110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - yes, my girlfriend before we got together111. Do you have trust issues? - isnt this repeated?112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - my girlfriend113. What was your childhood nickname? - Fifi Forget me not114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - yes!115. Do you play the Wii? - yes, and hugely beat @when-youcant-sleepat-night at Mario Karts116. Are you listening to music right now? - my sister’s bath music from the next room117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? - I’ve never had it 118. Do you like Chinese food? - not really119. Favourite book? - The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier120. Are you afraid of the dark? - yes..121. Are you mean? - sometimes 122. Is cheating ever okay? - NEVER, especially when you’re Russian and pretend you’re a nice person and constantly talk about how cheating is never okay desPITE doing it to every girlfriend you’ve had123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - no, my converse are basically grey124. Do you believe in love at first sight? - i dont know125. Do you believe in true love? - thoroughly126. Are you currently bored? - a little127. What makes you happy? - flowers128. Would you change your name? - yes, for varying reasons. I dont like mine much, and to hide from some bad people129. What your zodiac sign? - gemini130. Do you like subway? - the food? not really131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - bluntly make it clear I’m gay132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - I think this is repeated too133. Favourite lyrics right now? - “I wanna build a place in you, where I can be made new”134. Can you count to one million? - probably not135. Dumbest lie you ever told? - “Of course I know what I’m doing”136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - my bedroom door closed, wardrobe open137. How tall are you? - 176cm138. Curly or Straight hair? - I have curly hair, but straight hair requires a lot less effort and upkeep139. Brunette or Blonde? - ginger140. Summer or Winter? - autumn141. Night or Day? - night142. Favourite month? - August143. Are you a vegetarian? - no, but I can’t be in my current living situation144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? - none145. Tea or Coffee? - tea, black and cold146. Was today a good day? - no, all the customers decided to buy huge amounts as the store closed. If you do this, you are the worst kind of person and yes, we all thoroughly hate you147. Mars or Snickers? - neither148. What’s your favourite quote? - “They tell you to do your own thing but they don’t mean it. They don’t want you to do your thing, not unless it happens to be their thing, too.”149. Do you believe in ghosts? - no but I believe in bad energies150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? - Lateness fucking noticed, loser bitch

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killjoywithapen13 · 7 years

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11 questions

I was tagged by @thnksfrbuckybarnes and @buckyee-barnes <3

RULES:

1. always post the rules

2. answer the questions given to you by the person who tagged you

3. write 11 questions of your own

4. TAG SOME PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY

1. favourite mythical creature?

-I’d say unicorns but they’re obviously real sooo

2. favourite superhero?

- I can’t choose

3. star wars or star trek?

- Star Wars

4. do you have any pets? if so what are they and what are their names?

- I have a doggo called Smoky and he was named after a bag of chips

5. favourite candle scent?

-Vanilla

6. have you ever been to Disneyland?

- Unfortunately no

7. do you collect anything?

- Lots of things because I’m too sentimental to throw stuff away

8. marvel or DC?

- Marvel

9. have you ever been to a concert?

- Yes but it was a concert in my school of some students band and they played only covers but they were really good

10. favourite breed of dog?

- German shepherd

11. what country would you like to visit?

- Every single one

Lottie was too lazy to make up her own questions so had the same as these. Shame on you. But you have a new haircut so you are forgiven.

Zhe questions:

1. Dream job?

2. How would you redocorate your room if you had to for some reason?

3. Something that you just can’t stand?

4. Something that makes you extra happy?

5. Favourite number?

6. Do you watch cartoons?

7. Do you have any other social media?

8. Ever been on a plane?

9. Would you rather explore the space or the ocean?

10. Hot or cold?

11. Long slevee or short slevee?

I know my questions are pure shit but it’s kind of late soo... I tag @crystalisprincess @in-love-with-5sosss @littlenerdyemopeanut @phillphowell @gerardstolemycookie and everyone who wants my mind is kind of dead rn so sorry for not tagging more people. and @thnksfrbuckybarnes and @buckyee-barnes you can also answer these if you fell like it

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phandombigbang · 7 years

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MEET THE MODS!

Since a lot of you have been asking, here are the answers to any questions you might have about your PBB mods.

We have prepared a page that can be visited anytime with all the important information about the mods & answers to the questions you have been sending in. Click here to take a look!

Also, because we recieved tons of questions about our favorite things and we didn’t want to clutter the new mods page with the answers to all those, we have decided to make a list. Check below the cut for that!

What is your favourite colour?

Alexandra: light pink Angi: Violet & Mint Bethany: Orange. When I was little, I realized I didn’t know anyone who’s favorite color was orange, so I took pity on it Brooke: Pink! Buse: Uhmm.. Can’t pick.. Maybe lilac or pastel blue Cecily: I’d like to say pastel pink, but a good blue is also good Kirsty: Blue Maddie: Crimson Megan: bright blue/green, maybe purple Mel: Navy blue Michelle: hot pink and red Natalia: purple Rachel: pastel pink and lime green Ollie: gold or dark green Zena: Sky blue or royal blue Zoe: black (whoops) or pastel blue??

What is your favourite season?

Alexandra: autumn (specifically new england autumn) Angi: Spring Bethany: Summer Brooke: Autumn Buse: Winter Cecily: Spring Kirsty: Autumn Maddie: Autumn Megan: Winter Mel: Spring Michelle: Summer Natalia: summer Rachel: Autumn Ollie: Spring Zena: Autumn Zoe: Winter

What is your favourite animal?

Alexandra: unicorns!! tho if we’re talking real then deer Angi: Meerkat or Red Panda Bethany: depends on the individual’s personality. But let’s go with cat Brooke: I have so many? Cats, snakes, and fish are my top 3 though.. Buse: Turtles :) Cecily: I need to say horse, don’t I? Or she’ll kill me Kirsty: Any kind of cat, big cats and domestic ones Maddie: Cats and sharks Megan: Otters! Mel: Owls and rabbits Michelle: SHARKS Natalia: dogs sorry Rachel: Cats and red pandas Ollie: crane! Zena: Cats and dogs, depends on when you ask me (elephants are pretty cool too) Zoe: Penguins. They really are just the greatest thing in the universe

What is your favorite TV-show?

Alexandra: danny phantom Angi: Buffy or Bones Bethany: House M.D. Brooke: True Blood is probably my fav rn Buse: Steven Universe… Gravity Falls… Adventure time… And the AMAZING (probably) Pilot of the infinity train :3 Cecily: Sherlock all the way, jesus Kirsty: The only TV show I watch is Doctor Who so I guess that Maddie: Black Mirror, Stranger Things, and about a million others Megan: Bob’s Burgers, Stranger Things, or Gravity Falls. Mel: Friends and Black Mirror Michelle: Supernatural and House Natalia: black mirror Rachel: Gravity Falls and Dexter Ollie: The Office Zena: Friends and White Collar and Gilmore Girls Zoe: Doctor Who ultimately- but the Inbetweeners, the Office and Supernatural all get honorary mentions

What is your favorite fanfiction tropes?

Alexandra: FAKE DATING!! plus friends to lovers, seemingly unrequited pining, secret agents, and trapped in an elevator/snowed in cabin type situations for whatever reason Angi: Fake Dating AUs, or really anything with a good slow burn. Bethany: Meta. Specifically when characters are reading/writing fics about themselves. Brooke: Hogwarts (ravenclaw!Phil / slytherin!Dan fight me on it) and Secret Agents Buse: Just anything with some deep story/a fantasy theme behind it! Cecily: All war/historical AUs (and illnesses) Kirsty: I have so many! Special power AU’s and Hogwarts AU’s as top two Maddie: Super powers, friends to lovers, Soulmates AU Megan: Soulmate AUs are my weakness, but also wrong number, fake-dating, one-sided/mutual pining… Anything that’s angsty for a while at the beginning really. Mel: Enemies to lovers and historical AUs Michelle: Friends to lovers with a healthy dose of seemingly unrequited pining, time travel, partners in battle who are also partners in life, hurt/comfort womp Natalia: sad angsty horrible AUs just make me cry and i’ll like it Rachel: enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, pastelxpunk, superpowers Ollie: anything historical goes straight to my heart! also I like a good semi-angsty misunderstanding fic Zena: Friends to lovers, soulmate AUs (especially the kind where they don’t realise at first), wrong number AUs and everything slow burn Zoe: prison/criminal/detective AU’s, dystopian/post-apocalyptic and anything that’ll make me cry

What is your favourite fanfiction?

Alexandra: if lost, return to phil by thatsmistertoyou Angi: Aboslutely no idea. Bethany: (Cecily is gonna list her own isn’t she? That ass.) Brooke: Before We Turn into a Monster (with two heads) blue shirt; If You Think You Know Me ineverhadmyinternetphase; Diamond in the Rough darkness_prince_dan Buse: Two roads meet- by the amazing Phanlight, It’s a masterpiece :’) Cecily: Renegade by awesomesockes Kirsty: That is literally impossible Maddie: There isn’t enough room for my answer. Megan: phan: In My Way by ineverhadmyinternetphase (or anything else Julia has written, tbh, but I’m biased to IMW cause I’m the beta); my first ever favorite is a Star Wars series on FFN by Queen called Said the Joker. Mel: Misfit by mangothatismelancholy Michelle: Here Where I Feel Safe by ficster28; Roll the Dice and Swear by ramonaspeaks; If the sky we should look upon by blueshirt; Dan and Phil: Lords of the Internet, Masters of Ambiguity by islet Natalia: listen. I can’t choose Rachel: Let Me Down Gently by ineverhadmyinternetphase Ollie: eee that’s so hard but most recently one where I was like WOWOWOW was while our blood’s still young by celestialfics but honestly so many Zena: This question is too hard Zoe: Honestly, no idea - but non-phan, Unholyverse by bexless comes to mind??

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?

Alexandra: drive a car, i’m boring Angi: Tie between horse & car tbh Bethany: I like trains. But fine, car. Brooke: A horse! It’s been years! Someone let me ride their horse! Buse: Horse/Bike I don’t really like driving in cars oops :$ Cecily: Horse definitely Kirsty: Drive a car Maddie: Drive a car Megan: Um. Horses scare me, I don’t have my license yet, and riding a bike is exhausting. None of the above? Mel: Definitely drive a car Michelle: def drive my car. Its name is Cas. Natalia: bike Rachel: car Ollie: horse Zena: I’m Dutch so I feel like I’d be hunted down if I say anything other than bike Zoe: horse, definitely the horse

Would you rather vacation in Alaska or Hawaii?

Alexandra: i can’t choose can i pls hav both Angi: Alaska Bethany: Alaska Brooke: Definitely Alaska!! Buse: Alaska! Cecily: Alaska no doubt Kirsty: Alaska Maddie: Alaska, but only in the summer Megan: Hawaii - I want to see lava. Mel: Hawaii, I would literally freeze in Alaska Michelle: Hawaii!! I love beaches and I hate cold. Natalia: alaska must be so interesting but it’s cold and i’m weak Rachel: Hawaii Ollie: Alaska! Zena: If it’s hotter than 20 degrees and there’s sun I can’t function so Alaska Zoe: 100% Alaska, I love snow so much aH

#phandom big bang

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