#i’ll find a way. i gotta

[hidingoutbackstage]

Miriam's Diary

June 22, 1991

I had an interesting conversation with Dr. Greg Mueller today. He’s become a good friend while I’ve been here, partly because we first bonded over our almost matching surnames, and he reminds me a bit of my own father. Wish we actually were related somehow, it’d be nice.

Anyway, I mentioned offhandedly to Greg my desire in the future to have a child, and he delightedly told me about a new fertility drug Umbrella has been working on that they need test subjects for. The project for observing the effects of the drug would require actually getting its test subjects pregnant from various anonymous donors, and carefully monitoring the health of the baby and the mother. He told me I’d be a great candidate for it, and I let him know I was absolutely interested.

As nice as it would be to raise a child with a loving husband and not have to work this extremely taxing job all the while, I’d do just about anything to be a parent.

Subjects need to be on the drug for three months before artificial insemination occurs. I’ll be starting next week.

-

June 29, 1991

First day starting my fertility treatment. One of the researchers, Carter, joked about how I was finally pulling my weight in Umbrella research. I know he was trying to be funny, but it stung a little. I’m plenty aware that my condition stints my ability to work, but I try as hard as I can. That’s why I joined Umbrella Pharmaceuticals in the first place, to help create and distribute medications for ill and disabled people like myself. Not to mention the healthcare that comes from working here lets me purchase my insulin for practically pennies.

-

September 29, 1991

It’s officially the three month mark, and my insemination is today. They’re really wasting no time starting this project, I’m almost a little worried. Things feel rushed, maybe too rushed. You can’t rush science, or it’ll blow up in your face. I may not be a head researcher but I know that much.

-

October 2, 1991

Just got the test back! It’s official! I’m going to have a baby!

-

October 10, 1991

Linda told me the truth. I’ve been lied to this whole time, about the project, about my use as a subject, about what Umbrella’s intentions have been from the start.

Soon they’re going to give us abortions and shut down the project. I’m scared. I don’t know if I’ll be of any more use to them once I’m no longer their test subject. I’m already barely able to keep up with their demanding labor as it is.

I’ve decided to leave. Leave Umbrella, leave America, go home and never return. I want to leave this part of my life behind me. But I’m taking one thing with me.

I can’t be sure that they’re really terminating our pregnancies as opposed to just terminating us. I wouldn’t put it past them after what I was told. Linda and Michael promised they’d cover for me, essentially faking a report to let me off the hook. I couldn’t be more grateful to them.

Whoever this Albert Wesker is, I hope he never comes to discover this child.

[zuppizup]

OMG, there’s no Stella in this pic! She’s been officially yeeted? I don’t need to work that into this section of my fics?!

Please! Please let it be true!

[jack-kellys]

ok so for uk davey to have a costume change in act 2. he needs to look more like racetrack.

i don’t know if this is purposeful in the previous broadway and tour productions, but race’s base in the past has been a plaid-patterned shirt that was either stark in contrast (ryan breslin’s dark on light) or stark in color (ben cook’s blue and green). and bway davey’s is a mix of both with a bright blue, thicker stripe on a white base.

uk davey already has color, but it’s a green, and he and les are alone in this color compared to the rest of the ensemble (besides like. albert for some reason. but i kinda think they fucked that up a bit lmao). the rest are in paler colors made stark only by suspenders, kerchiefs, or caps. they are far more unified. race still sticks out- his cap is actually & interestingly green (at least.. it was for a while), but he also has a red pocket square and a nicer vest and a Pattern. he’s got a blue pin-striped white shirt.

and davey i think. first of all gets a kerchief. i think he might come into world will know with one honestly. and davey i think maybe doesn’t shift patterns—i think les might be more inclined to that—i think he shifts to a color that more unifies him with the newsies. and more with crutchie and race. it’s got to be some kind of paler blue, and since crutchie, jack, and kath have solid colors i think davey still needs to. maybe it’s also a bigger shirt too. enters kony setting his vest on the table & does kony sans vest. yeahg.

for jack i think. i just truly and desperately want him in an undershirt that is paint-RUINED. i think jerjor’s undershirt had like…. two swipes of paint…. and the first time we see jack in act 2 is his most vulnerable. he’s chosen officially to leave town after whatever this is all ends, he’s back to painting santa fe, he believes that he, specifically, failed everyone. i need that undershirt rife with colors and therefore emotion. it needs to be literally on his sleeve ! yk! bc what he says in the wwh(r) scene is mostly delivered stonily, with less emotion. just sort of hopeless. i think it’d also be an interesting visual to go with “you look like hell”, bc if his attire is covered in paint it could mean he’s stayed up the whole night, or was super careless, etc etc. gives More to go on than every-time-without-fail’d underwhelming makeup lmao.

then i think during the pulitzer office mayor/snyder scene he changes back to the red or puts the shirt on over the undershirt…. and then the rally. we know he can’t change clothes bc boy was basically in newsie jail down there. but we DO know that the delanceys further beat him up (they do it during bottom line reprise’s outro upstage if some of u weren’t aware) before tossing him on the ground. so we Know he looks. even fucking worse at the rally. maybe a piece of the undershirt is ripped off and wrapped around the fingers morris steps on. maybe it’s on underneath the red shirt for the first time to hide bruising. maybe the injuries we saw from the strike get quickly worsened while brooklyn’s here plays. there has to be an even further disheveled shift. this kid has been ruined now, not just his attire. not just his facade. his actual self.

[tariah23]

Unemployment Thursday!!!

[chibishortdeath]

Wait nvm my bad I lied, I do have something for Valentine’s Day—

(Other doodles under a cut)

Also I just found out what the alt text feature does :0. I didn’t notice it before (TwT ;)7. I’m gonna try it out and see how it works! I’ll just uh translate my awful handwriting outside of it here: the third image in this section says “(telling him the whole Bloodborne lore)”.

Okie dokie, Happy Valentine’s Day, I am gonna be celebrating by not doing a whole lot lol

[starryelem]

I would love to see Blue x Finch? One of favs rn 😭 (also if u need a co writer I can help I’m so desperate for writing assistance rn )

i wrote this as a reply but I realized u might not see it so I pasted it here .

I can’t really promise I’ll be able to do it and execute it as well as it can be (done and executed) but I’ll try my best to write it!!

As for the co writer offer, I really don’t want to trouble you with my messy writing and last minute changes that tend to drive people mad, thank you very much for the offer tho!!

[cream-and-tea]

pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tacit-semantics]

Genuinely enjoying fight to the death with embroidery frame girl you are so. Stressful yet effective.

[primaveravenus]

finally feeling better thank you antibiotics . so now my anxiety which has been focused on if i am leaving the mortal world is now catching up on lost time with everything else

[tvrningout]

depicted: chiyo’s live reaction to being called short

[rosicheeks]

hi Princess

i hope you are doing well

please tell us a little about your new job with the doggies!

[mer-se]

ah, we’ve once again arrived at the ol’ lesbian wake outfit dilemma it’s always pinstripe pants tank top blazer combo vs dress and cute shoes combo who are we going to be

[skoulsons]

This isn’t refurbished at all as I just wrote it but!!!! Wolfpack friends I’m getting there I swear

[ofj-art]

I’ve been away forever bc life has been a bitch but I swear I’m not dead

[pebblezone]

I hope I am not just a creator of questionable content, but also a friend

[lilgynt]

my mom found the thing that started the fight that got me kicked out. so i was right. in my fantasies this happens and it’s great in real life im gonna jump her