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bciwasinlove · 3 years

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how would you analyize or interpret the song walls?cause i‘ve heard a lot of people say it‘s a break up song as it‘s written in past tense and basically saying he‘s stronger now after a break up (maybe even from a toxic relationship), he‘s risen above it and it doesn‘t really sound like a love song about an ongoing romance, does it?

Hi anon this is going to be a long one bc there is no quick answer to this so just know you asked for this.

First let's get one thing straight the ones who claim Walls [the album in general] is a break up album are the "Rads" short for Radical Louies. Essentially they are toxic louies who once were a larry shipper [not even a real larrie] but now hate Harry bc their mad Louis hasn't gotten the same promo and solo opportunities Harry has and some how in their eyes that's Harry's fault. They don't see it was Syco trying to sabotage Louis and in no way is Louis being sabotaged Harry's fault. Rads try to twist the truth and believe Harry left Louis for fame so since they hate Harry they have twisted the meaning of Walls to in their head a break up from a toxic relationship. They also really want LT2 to be a HUGE SHADE break up album which is 100% not the case so don't believe their crap.

Tho I heard you may have sent this same ask to others [who probably ignored you] so there is a chance you are a rad trying to find out what larries believe. Either way if you are a confused larrie or an undercover rad you probably need this info that no one else will bother giving you the time of day to tell you but I myself thought why not I'll answer you.

Second Louis and Harry have been happily in love for 10 years and have not officially broken up. Yes they have had issues like any couple does but it did not stem from eachother their issues stemed from them being forcibly closeted, the stunt gfs and their labels thus their songs are not break up songs but songs about not being able to be free and forced to fake date others when all they want is to publicly be with the one they love.

Now that that is out of the way here's why Walls is about Louis loving one person and one person only since he was 18. I'm doing the whole album [minus TOU] bc it is impossible to state why Walls the song is not a break up song without mentioning the others like Too Young [which rads also claim as a break up song] bc the album as a whole paints the whole picture.

Bree's analysis on Walls

Kill My Mind:

You kill my mind, raise my body back to life and I don't know what I'd do without you now.

KMM is definitely the sexual song of Walls [not No Control type sexual but just we click right from the start sexual] It has the I just met you and we are figuring one another out vibe [both physically and just as people] and how right from the start Louis craves Harry and his attention. It has a similar vibe to Watermelon Sugar which Harry said is about the euphoria of falling in love and the way the other person makes you feel right from the start. Louis in KMM is saying I've just meet someone and they are now all I think about, crave and I don't know how I would be able to live without them.

Don't Let It Break Your Heart:

And I know you left apart of you in New York under your bed in a box, but your doing better.

Flashback to HS1 "Ever Since New York" seems like they both love to mention something happening in NY with their lover. We may never know what happened but it's always a funny coincidence when they mention the same places in their songs almost like their singing about the same situation.

Life gets hard and it gets messed up when you give so much, but it's not enough when the highs to high and the lows to low when you love somone and they let you go.

As I stated before their issues involved the stunts [fake dating women] so when Louis says love someone and they let you go he means when his lover gave into what they were being told to do for the sake of their careers. As young as they were when this all started it's hard not to think they may have fell for the lies being fed to them. So Harry let "Louis go" by being seeing with a ton of women gaining himself the brand of "lady's man" while also being forced to watch Louis be with someone else [Eleanor] and publicly act like that was the one he loved. Harry wrote the song Just a Little Bit of Your Heart which is a prime exactly of those feelings. Harry loves Louis so much but he only gets to love him privately while Eleanor gets to loves him publicly and as Harry wrote a little bit of your love is better then none.

Were driving down a one way road to something better. What hurts you is going to pass you'll be doing better.

This shows they know the pain all the bad things thrown their way won't stick around forever. They will overcome this and one day they will see the light at the end of the tunnel or the rainbow after the storm.

We Made It:

Cause we made it, Underestimated and always underrated. Now we're saying goodbye waving to the hard time yeah it's gonna be already.

Do I need to explain it I would say the title alone and this chorus makes it very clear. Break up who when where how? They had hard ships but NOT from their own doing. WMI is about how decpite all they were put through they made it. Flashback to Harry HS1 tour with Kacey in a rainbow dress at MSG in front of 36k people singing "[their/where] still together still going strong." They want you to know nothing will break them apart no matter how hard anyone tries. We are keeping the bad in the past and moving forward to a better tomorrow.

Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about. Things we'd never say to someone else out loud.

This reminds me of their Xfactor days or early 1D tour days bc in 1D interviews it was always made clear they would share rooms and also how on the bus Louis bunk was filled with his junk so where did he sleep then? Also there are many former Xfactor contestants that have come out and said they were forced to be in the closet on the show. Flashback to an article claiming the people in charge of the 2010 Xfactor season tried to hide and keep a same sex couple apart wonder who that was? That line is about when they were young and the late nights they spent together wondering how their future was going to go. They were still just big smiles, wide eyed, oblivious young boys when they imagined only good things to come of the future with them and the band.

We were only kids just trying to work it out. Wonder what they'd say if they could see us now?/ Don't know why they put all of this on us when we're so young. Done a pretty good job dealing with it all.

We were only kids [when Louis fell in love with said person] and we're so young reminds me of Harry's song To Be So Lonely where he says "Don't blame me for falling I was just a little boy." They both mention falling in love at a young age and both mention how after all this time they are still just as in love as back then but just a little less naive/oblivious. They are both hinting at a higher person [their label/management] who didn't approve of their love and telling them it wasn't going to work out. Harry going you can't be mad at me I was only a boy and Louis going wonder what would happen if they saw us now meaning look we didn't let you win. They tried so hard to separate Louis and Harry but it didn't work and Louis wants us and THEM especially to know they are still very much together, they handled it as best at they could and they weren't going to let them keep Louis and Harry apart.

Meet you at your uni, cheap drink, drink em all night

This is what we call a stunt line to push a narrative. Harry does stunt songs [Carolina and Cherry] while Louis does stunt lines. This line is suppose to allude to the album being for Eleanor [bc she went to Manchester Uni] but the rest of the album is so clearly not for her. If this song was about a break up from Harry then why would they bother adding in a stunt line about Eleanor when the public story is El and Louis are happily still together with Louis planning to marry her? Unless Walls isn't a break up album and it's very loudly Louis declaring him and Harry are still happily together and they wanted to try and force the image that Louis is happily in love with Eleanor. Also funny how this album is gender neutral and has no she pronouns in it unlike Zayn's new album having she pronouns.

Too Young:

We were to young to know we had everything. Too Young, I wish I could've seen it all along. I'm sorry that I hurt you, darling, no we were to young

This song is all about how when Harry was only 16 and he was 18 [Louis himself saying the song is about meeting the one at 18] he was to young to realize he had the best lover he was ever going to have, he had it all. As I said before issues in songs = management/stunts and this is Illuding to how Louis let them minupulate them and do what it was they wanted aka stunting and forcing Louis to be with Eleanor and Harry have a "lady's image" since he was only 16 and Louis now looking back and realizing he should have fought harder. Louis at the time didn't realize how much all this would hurt Harry having to share Louis [once again Just a Little Bit of Your Heart is Harry's feelings about that] and its once he's older he realizes what he did to hurt the only one who he ever truly loved and it pains him to know he put his lover through that even if it wasn't Louis fault Harry went through that.

I've been looking back a lot lately me and you is all I've ever known. Oh I can't believe I gave in to the pressure. When they said a love like this would never last. I didn't know no better now I realize yeah I realize.

So similar to before he's saying Harry is all he's ever known and him giving in to the pressure was about agreeing to fake date Eleanor and allow them to be heavily closeted. Reflecting back on those days he regrets so much what he agreed to do. They said a love like this wouldn't last is their management/label not agreeing with them being together and how two boys in a boyband marketed towards young women won't last, they won't sell records as an out gay couple with Louis believing their lies for a bit and he now regrets ever thinking they were right. This is a reflection song of not understanding what he had when he was so young but he sees it clearly now and he will never let THEM win he loves Harry and won't ever let him go ever.

Walls:

These high walls, they came up short now I stand taller then them all. These high walls never broke my soul and I watched them all come fallin down for you.

The high walls he refers to is all the assholes who tried to break him, break Harry and tried to ruin his career out of spite. This is towards the ones who told him they would never succeed being as they are a committed gay couple. Louis for a time believed them when they said their love wouldn't last, no one will want to listen to their music as a gay couple but eventually he realized they were wrong and those walls he had up filling him with doubt and insecurities were broken down. He allowed his "high walls" to come down because Harry was worth the effort it took to bring them down.

So this one is a thank you for what you did to me. Why is it that thank you's are often bittersweet? I just hope I see you one day and you say to me, Oh.

This is what one calls a metaphor he does not mean a physical person he means the walls he had up for a long time making him feel so insecure bc of how some of the people around him that made him feel so worthless crushing his spirt for so long. The metaphorical person he is thanking for helping him become the person he is today is the wall he broke down. The hardships he dealt with when he was younger got him to where he is today.

For every question why you were my because

Why am I still fighting?

Why have I not given up yet?

The because to his question is his lover HERE is where he directly refers to his lover. Harry is someone who is worth fighting for and will always be one of the reasons he hasn't stopped fighting. He loves Harry more then anything and will fight until the day he can publicly hold his hand, publicly post pictures of them together, publicly go on dates and publicly declare his love for him.

Habit:

You're the habit that I can't break, you're the feeling I can't put down, you're the shiver that I can't shake, you're the habit that I can't break, you're the high that I need right now.

Written over and over throughout the song these are some of the most important lines he wrote about Harry. It's Louis way of saying even if he wanted to, even if it would be easier for him and Harry he can never let him go. Harry's version of this is in Adore You when he sings "You don't have to say you love me, you don't have to say nothing and you don't have to say you're mine. I'd walk through fire for you just let me adore you like it's the only thing I'll ever do." Harry is saying even if publicly you can never say you love me I know you do and I will do anything for you because I am madly in love and could never let you go. They both would go through hell along side each other then being partially happy and the other not being by their side. Harry is the only one he ever wants to spend his life with and no matter what hardships they are put through there is no scenario where being without each other is a better alternative.

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be but honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

The line of all lines he took time away bc he was tired of the facade of faking what makes him happy, faking loving some girl, faking being anything but himself. He's back now and knows without a doubt who he is and is proud of it. No more confusion, no more lies he loves a curly haired dimpled boy and no one will tell him he can't love him. Harry's version of this is the chorus of Lights Up "All the lights couldn't put out the dark, runnin' through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are, know who you are. Do you know who you are? Shine step into the light, shine so bright sometimes, shine I'm not ever going back." They both tell you they have figured out whi they are and are very proud of who they have become and no one will tell them they can't be anything but themselves. They WILL scream it out loud and proud letting everyone know who they love one day [as if 16 and 18 year old H&L didn't already do that.]

And it's been ages, different stages come so far from Princess Park. I'll always need ya in front of me, in front of me

Oh the line that shocked every larrie I know. When he first sang this song and we first heard this line at a live concert everyone was shocked because we all knew what their was only one meaning to it. It was such a drastic line that the Elounors tried to claim he sang Starbuck [until the official lyrics came out.] Princess Park is the name of the apartment/flat complex all of the 1D boys lived in after the Xfactor BUT Niall, Liam and Zayn had their own apartment/flat while Louis and Harry shared one and they always made it very clear to everyone they met that they lived together.

So in a love song Louis sings about how him and his lover have come so far since their Princess Park days and his lover will always be the one he needs. Putting Harry's fav love song Sweet Creature plus Louis line about his lover together it would read " And, oh, we started two hearts in one home, come so far [since] princess park. I'll always need you in front of me. Wherever I go you bring me home" you do the math here. Their lyrics sink up just as much as their tattoos do.

Always You:

I went to Amsterdam without you and all I could do was think about you and oh-oh-oh I should've known

The Amsterdam line one of those lines that can be fact checked and proven to not be for Eleanor. So Louis took Eleanor to Amsterdam for her birthday at a gay bar no less back in July/August of 2017. Then a week or two later wrote the song Always You leaking a snippet of it to us where the lines of him singing about how he went to Amsterdam without his lover and his lover was all he could think about were heard. If he went with Eleanor then clearly that isn't his lover but we know this. Fast forward 2020 Walls comes out and we FINALLY hear the full song of Always You.

Louis said he only put the song on the album because the fans wanted it but if it was just because of us and the song wasn't THAT important to him why did he leak those lines back in 2017 that could easily be fact checked that the lover he sings about isn't Eleanor? It's like he wanted us to know it's not for Eleanor this line is important. So the fact that almost 3 years later he still put the song out shows the song means a lot to him and even in 2020 the meaning of the song still resonates with him and how it will Always be THIS one person that means everything to him. Funny though how his loudest, easily fact checkable songs [to not be about Eleanor] are the ones he downplays the most about importance to him.

I went to Tokyo to let it go. Drink after drink, but I still felt alone I should've known

When it comes to this song the Amsterdam line is Louis speaking [because he went to Amsterdam without Harry] while the Tokyo line is Harry speaking [because Harry went to Tokyo without Louis] and after Harry came back from Tokyo, Japan Louis was seen wearing a ton of new clothes from Japanese clothing brands. This is both of them saying I may be in a wonderful new place but it's not the same without you here. They are sad and alone and would rather be with each other then traveling around the world.

I'm wastin' my time when it was always you, always you. Chasin' the high, but it was always you, always you

I think this is self explanatory he sees no reason to even think about being with someone else because he knows without a shadow of doubt [thinks he always knew deep down] it was always Harry. There was never going to be anyone else for him but Harry.

I went from LAX to Heathrow. Walked through my door, but it felt nothing like home cause you're not home. Waiting to wrap your legs around me

LA and London are their two main residences and places they tend to go back and forth a lot. When he "goes home" if Harry is not there Louis feels as though it doesn't really feel like home because home to Louis is wherever Harry is. They can travel all around the world, meet a ton of new people but no place and others will ever make them feel fully satisfied unless their lover is by their side.

Fearless:

Cashin your weekend treasures, for a suit and time a second wife. Now I'm not saying that you could have done better just remember that I, I've seen that fire alight.

The first line is a nod to the industry itself and how to get your "weekend tresures" [be famous and earn a lot of money] you have to put up a fake facade, acting and looking the way they want you to because in their eyes if you are not the conventional person Hollywood wants they believe you will not make them the money they desire because we all know they only care about money nothing else. At a cost of the real them they must put on a fake smile, go out there sing doing nothing unconventional and they will get money and fame.

The second line yes they are happily together and Louis doesn't want or believe Harry will find someone else but he has seen Harry when all of this gets to be to much and when Harry puts up a facade of I've never had an issue with all of this Louis reminds him that I've seen you when your not fine, it's ok to not always be fine and I am here for you when things are not rainbows and sunshine.

Tell me do you still remember feeling young? And strong enough to get it wrong in front of all these people? Just for tonight, look inside and spark that memory of you.

Refering back to Xfactor and early 1D days he's asking Harry if he remembers those days together back when they hadn't really gone through hardships yet and all the strength they had during their youth willing to take on the world together. He's asking him to bring that strength back and remember the younger version of himself. He's asking him to not give up because the younger him wouldn't want him to. It's been 10 years and they are still fighting, fighting as hard as they did when they were merely teenagers not knowing what lied ahead but wer happy as long as it meant they had each other in the end.

Now if happiness is always measured by the life we design, the car on the drive then you should feel better then ever but you know as well as I it's all lies.

This line speaks volumes as stated before with Fearless we have references to the industry and even just life in general. From the outside looking in they got money, fame, material things, they have it all and if deciding who is more happy in life was based on those things then they would win but Louis is telling Harry we both know that isn't the case. The industry isn't sunshine and rainbows, they treat people like shit and strip away everything about a person if they don't think their real self will sell. They only want to make a profit off them and don't care about how they feel about any of it. Everything is a lie the truth must be counseled.

Perfect Now:

You say to me your jeans don't fit, you don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss. I wish you could see my point of view as someone staring back at you.

This song is personally underrated to me I love this song. This song is so uplifting when you are feeling insecure and negative about yourself. Louis personally had a certain curly haired boy in mind when he wrote this. He's talking about Harry's insecurities with himself and Louis wishes Harry could see things from his view and how amazing and perfect Harry is to him.

Cause everybody is looking at you now. I guess some queens don't need a crown and I know why. Even when your tears are following now still someone, you're perfect now.

One of those it's definitely not for Eleanor moments. We all know [especially during fine line era] everyone was talking about Harry, knows his name and eyes turn to him when he walks in the room. Louis is so proud of Harry and is happy everyone else sees what he sees but Harry doesn't always see what others see in him and during those times where he is not already Louis is saying I will be right there with you. I am with you through the good and the bad because even when tears are running down his face Harry is still perfect to Louis.

Cause you're the only one when it's said and done. You make me feel like being someone good to you. Even at your worst you steal the scene.

No matter where life takes them, no matter how hard it gets Louis is reassuring Harry he will always be there by his side. At the end of it all when the final act is over and the curtain is closeting he will still be there because there will never be anyone else he wants to be next to at the end of all of this. Louis looks into Harry's eyes he watches all he does and is intrance wanting nothing more then being the one to be there when he is down and always being the who makes the pain go away even if for a moment.

Defenseless:

I hate to say, but I do we're sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams. We walk up early morning and they're still under our sheets.

*Sigh* this is reality setting in things aren't perfect. In their line of work, being who they are, being a closeted gay couple things aren't going to be perfect 100% of the time. Most of the time they would rather ignore all the shit they are forced to indure but Louis realizes just ignoring it all won't make it go away he will wake up each morning next to Harry knowing those issues will always be around by neither fault of their own. He hopes one day they will get to be a happily open couple who posts pics online, goes out on public dates and gets to live the domestic life they always wanted but right now that just isn't their reality. Their reality is I can only look at you for more then 5 seconds or touch you when no one is around to notice.

Been up all night, all night running my lines but it's only the truth. Been up all night not sure how to say this right got so much to loose. / You just keep on building up your fences but I've been so defenseless.

Another metaphor here Louis wondering how to bring this up to Harry and not upset him. The last thing Louis ever wants is for him to be the reason Harry has a frown upon is wonderful face. Harry is more the one to bottle up and ignore the negative things while Louis is the more practical one and he knows he has a ton to loose [Harry and his love] if he doesn't go about this situation right.

No you don't have to keep on being strong for you and me acting like you feel no pain I know you do. And I can't get inside your head when you're lost in your pride but you don't have a thing to prove.

Harry is the one who bottles up his pain, puts on the fake smiles, and makes everyone believe he is perfectly fine. He acts like he can handle what he is forced to indure 100% of the time but Louis sees through that and just wants him to open up more. He knows Harry feels just as much pain as he does and wishes he wouldn't hide it and pretend everything is always fine. Louis wants to be able to help Harry through the pain and to let know he will always be there for him no matter what so don't pretend your always fine just to make others around him, make Louis feel better.

I hope I'm not asking to much just wanna be loved by you. And I'm to tired to be tough just wanna be loved by you.

Louis is tired of pretending, wishes everyone understood, wishes what he is asking for wasn't to much. All he wants is to be loved by Harry and live the domestic life he always invisioned with Harry and no one else but his live is not that simple.

Only The Brave:

Pour mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history. I'm breaking my own rules, I'm crying like a fool. It's a church of burnt romances and I'm to far gone to pray. It's a solo song and it's only for the brave.

I'm sure you understand Louis is gay but if you didn't this line right here is all you need to understand that. No straight man is going to write or sing those lines. He's gone down a path of self discovery and figuring himself out he knows he is and he is to far gone to turn back now but he has no desire to even if he could turn back. He is proud of who he is and doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him.

If the truth tell, darling, you fell, like their ain't enough dying stars in your sky. It's a tell tale and it's only hello, hello, no goodbyes.

It's only hello no goodbyes meaning the confusion, the is this for life between Louis and Harry questions are gone. They aren't turning back, they aren't saying goodbye, they are only saying hello to what lies ahead. The truth is clear, their story is clear, they fell for one another and Harry metaphorical speaking fell for Louis in a way where his star shines brighter then ever just by being with him.

Pour mercy, mercy on me, I'll fall upon my knees and they'll say, I told you so come on when you know you know. All the lonely shadows dancing from the cradle to the grave.

When you know you know they knew right from the start it's me and you until the end. Some won't agree but in the end that does not matter to Louis because he only cares about Harry being by his side. He will not apologize for falling in love he loves who he loves and that is it.

We Made It Directors Cut MV:

If the lyrics alone don't tell you the full story then the music video mini movie should. It sums up everything I explained. Louis being forced to do things he doesn't want, it effecting his relationship to the point their drowning [Harry in Falling MV] but manage to survive. Louis lover never speaking but the girl with ties to the evil one in charge does until eventually Louis breaks free from the man in charge controlling him and Louis finally gets to run away with his lover because he made sure they would make it in the end.

Ending:

Walls is about self discovery, learning to overcome your insecurities "breaking down your walls" no matter how hard it may be and Louis understanding he met the one at 18 and how Harry will always be worth fighting for, THEY will always be worth it bc they knew even as young as they were they were going to get married, have kids and grow old together. So you still want to tell me how any song on Walls is about a break up or Louis moving on from Harry because I certainly don't see it. Walls is Louis perspective on their 10 year relationship and his support and love towards Harry if you want Harry's perspective and his support and love toward Louis you would have to dive into HS and FL but that's a whole other analysis.

They have not given up on each other even if at times it would have been easier they didn't so I will never give up on them. They continue to fight I have been in this fandom supporting them for 10 years watching their continous fight and I will be here another 10 years supporting them if that is how long it takes for them to get the life they knew they wanted when they were only 16 and 18.

#larry is still together going strong #walls lyric analysis #walls is not a break up album #larry is and always will be real #louis #harry #larry stylinson

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pleasereadmeok · 3 years

Text

A Goode Year? Review of 2020

Can’t believe it’s that time again. What a weird year. Despite Covid and Lockdowns we have actually seen quite a lot of Matthew Goode this year - so this is a long post to save for when you are bored of eating over the holidays! I’m not adding links to vids, etc. like previous years because tumblr doesn’t like them anymore [Grr] but all of them are still available and I’ll signpost them.

In January Matthew was finishing filming A Discovery of Witches Season 2 in Turin and we had some glimpses of his leather clad bod in some Teresa Palmer instastories -

...and in Sky’s ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ Excellent sneak peek.

... and Joshua’s uncle Lee gave us a few gorgeous pics ...

In February we saw Matthew and Sophie having fun at the Pre - BAFTA party

[Pics - Dave Benett]

The rest of that month was all about Leap Year’s 10 year anniversary and we drooled over Declan all over again ....

In March Matthew was finishing filming Silent Night with Keira Knightley when the world changed. We were introduced to ‘social distancing’. We had to keep a full Matthew Goode length away from other people - a handy reference is below to remind you -

[Pic - Ellen Von Unwerth] On the upside the news broke that Matthew would be playing Keira’s husband in Silent Night (as we suspected) and that they had finished filming before lockdown in the UK.

In April Matthew had his 42nd birthday. Check out all of the fabulous birthday tributes posted on here around 3rd April. As a special birthday present Sky released ‘Four Kids and It’ on their cinema channel on the same day with Matthew playing the role of slightly harassed parent David. It was a goode family movie and just what we needed in lockdown.

[Pics - Sky Cinema]

In May we got our first glimpse of Matthew in lockdown when he made a poignant contribution to Bletchley Park’s VE Day celebrations -

[Vid available on Bletchley Park You Tube]

It was perfectly judged - just Matthew filming himself on his phone, in his garden, complete with birdsong.

“This is your finest hour.”

According to James Purefoy and Joe Fattorini Matthew shaved off his hair with the dog clippers in lockdown so he looked a bit different the next time we saw him in June!

Matthew appeared via zoom on ‘Dan Nicholls Really Likes Wine’ show - ‘Drinking the Goode Stuff’. It was great seeing these old friends bantering away and drinking wine. Of course Goode fans immediately campaigned to get Matthew on The Wine Show @ Home and we got our wish a few weeks later when Joe and Matthew had a virtual wine tasting on zoom -

The whole session was hilarious. Matthew was completely adorable and funny as usual. Amongst other things Matthew told us that Sophie had gone off pork (not a euphemism) and we got another peek at his beautiful home with Sophie’s interior design skills on show. This is also still available on The Wine Show @Home You Tube.

June also gave us the new trailer for ‘The King’s Man’. We heard Matthew’s unmistakable voice as the Scots bad guy and there were some tantalising peeks of his character’s mysterious alter ego ‘Shepherd’ -

In July we finally got to see one of Matthew’s Q & A sessions for actors in training at Bow Street Academy in Dublin that he had recorded in May -

Matthew gave frank, funny and very practical advice on auditions, preparation for roles and demonstrated how to be scary with a knife!

August was a bit quiet - we got news that A Discovery of Witches Season 2 would now be aired in January 2021 but a new promo image helped soften the blow of that delay. -

[Pic - Sky]

Kingsman was delayed yet again.... but at least we got some new promo images of Matthew’s character - Captain Maximillian Morton. (Morton? Hmm - someone on here (not me!) spotted the relation to Roxy!]

[Pics - Total Film/Empire]

In September Matthew’s new movie ‘The Duke’ received glowing reviews at the Venice Film Festival and we got confirmation of my speculation that he would play barrister Jeremy Hutchinson.

Tantalisingly goode info about Matthew’s up coming movie Silent Night came from Baz Bamigboye from the Daily Mail as he called it ‘the most astonishing Christmas movie ever made’ - hopefully he meant it in a goode way! We had fun spotting Matthew’s body parts in the pictures accompanying the article ...

[Pic Daily Mail]

Production on A Discovery of Witches season 3 started under strict Covid rules and Matthew was seen filming for ADOW Season 3 in Bristol -

[Anthony Ward]

October was a very goode month!

It kicked off with The Wine Show Season 3 teaser -

Matthew ‘sub-section’ Goode joined in with the ADOW cast Q & A. He was a funny and engaging as ever including an unforgettable impression of a ‘wafter’ and a hasty exit at the end!

We had the official ‘first look’ trailer for season 2 of A Discovery of Witches -

[pic - my edit]

The Wine Show season 3 landed on Amazon Prime in the UK and it is SO goode even tho’ there is less Matthew than usual due to filming clashes with ADOW. Matthew was still his adorably goofy self and gave us the usual interesting fashion choices and jokes.

[My Edit]

October also brought us a new tie in cover for Shadow of Night -

[Pic - Deborah Harkness Twitter]

And as if that wasn’t enough excitement for October we got the official news that there will be another Downton Abbey movie - starting to film in March 2021. Hopefully we will see more of him in this one!

[Pic - Carnival]

Matthew usually keeps his charity projects private but in November we saw him donating his ADOW ‘wedding day’ boots to be auctioned for the Small Steps Project ....

...complete with on mud from the set. Some lucky person is probably stroking that suede as I write this!

[Pics - Small Steps project]

Matthew also recorded some charming contributions to the #SaveJenny campaign. He evicted the dog from her favourite chair by the radiator in the kitchen and sat there to read the opening chapter of Wind in the Willows -

and later ‘The Night before Christmas’ poem complete with music!

You can still see these contributions and most importantly DONATE - links are listed below -

December has been all about A Discovery of Witches season 2 - with a stunning second trailer and plenty of teasers and pictures from Sky and Bad Wolf - there are too many to include but here’s a few -

[Pics my edit / sky/badwolf]

So what of next year? So many goode things to look forward to. I’ll do ‘Goode Things coming in 2021′ a bit earlier next year because January is gonna be BUSY for Goode fans!

Thank you SO MUCH for making time to read this blog. And a big thank you to Goode fans who create content to share with others on here and on matthew-goode.net. We really appreciate the effort that everyone puts in to sharing the Goode Stuff.

Lastly I have to thank Matthew Goode who patiently tolerates the fan nonsense while he tries to pretend that he doesn’t actually have any fans anyway!

Cheers Matthew!

#matthew goode #matthewgoode #a discovery of witches #adow #the wine show #downton abbey #the duke #silent night #Kingsman

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hummingbird-games · 3 years

Text

Dev Blog # 17

Hello friends! Happy October! Might as well throw this out here, but the rest of the year is about to get super busy for me (and I’m guessing that’s probably the story for a lot of people so AWESOME, here’s to all of us being productive 🎉)

Aside from art (the rest of sprites and alternative outfits + the backgrounds that I’m dragging my feet in editing and coding in, waahhhh) and proofreading/edits, my goal is to be 100% done with HSD:JY. Yes that includes temp music and SFX oh God help Meaning? If I were to place it on itch.io and make it live, I would not die of embarrassment at what y’all see and interact with. Might even be proud!

Also, if I commit to and accomplish this, I can give a release date that isn't “Winter 2022″! Given my track record, you guys might see it much earlier than that, but we will revisit all of this come Jan 2022, cool?

I thought about doing a current breakdown but it wouldn’t mean anything now? The game’s been written for almost a year now, everything writing wise is coded in, so I just have to make sure it’s readable. Also, the endings “screen” is in there, could look better, but it’s in there. #Updates 😎🤘🏽

Part 2 of *I lead a busy life for the rest of 2021*, November is National Writing Novel Month, and I will be stepping back from here and other places in my life to buckle down and write the script for game 2.

Yes, there will be another project for Hummingbird Games.

I have not become jaded and given up.

...What’s game 2 about?? When will it be out?? Is it high school themed too?? IS IT A SEQUEL!?!

No it’s not teen drama or a sequel! (However, I have PLENTY of teen stories in my brain so that door stays open.) But that’s all I’m saying for now. Find me in December, maybe I’ll share a little sum-sum...

Shameless Promo??? Shameless Promo!!

Twin Coves Kickstarter goes live today!

Women of Xal had a huge update not that long ago! (also on Steam if you’re into that)

Not that it needs my help, but Step 4 of Our Life: Beginnings & Always is live, also had an update recently, and I just really love this game, it has a super special place in my heart... *sobs*

If you’re an IF lover, I have to spread some love to my lovely mutual who’s launching her Filipino Mythology inspired game, Eye of the Moon, which goes live this month

If you’re an IF lover part 2, I wanna also give some love to my friend Mila and her game Golden, which is perfect if you’re wanting some supernatural lovin’ 😏

Now That I’ve Got You Right Where I Want You...

I present to you, our rival and adversary for Ryan’s affections* (oops, there goes my bias again 😗) Vanessa Cross! While she wasn’t inspired by anybody specifically, I’m pretty proud of the fact that I was able to write her character and interactions convincingly (says my sister, a high school senior at the time of game creation and bouncing off ideas, so maybe take my pat on the back with a grain of salt LOL ).

Currently, we push the idea that girls should support instead of tear each other down, and I agree!!!!...but like...sometimes you just don’t get along with people? Also these are 15-17 year olds? 😂 everything is so intense and mistakes are made, and I love writing about this stage.

SO. Do with this info as you will, and I’ll catch y’all on the flip side. Eat some candy for me!

- Gemini

*I jest! I know the pains of your fave LI not having their proper time in the sun, so believe me when I say that no matter who you choose, you aren’t missing out. Unless you don’t do the friendship path. Then yeah, you are missing out, but whatever, I warned you 🤣😂

#gamedev #High School Daze: Junior Year #game updates #the way September flew past was hella disrespectful 😭

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currywaifu · 4 years

Text

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: escape room 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: minagi tsuzuru/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 3.4k words, 3 images

𝐚𝐧: the combi of my love for this tsuzuru sr card + a certain enabler + my first time wearing handcuffs being in an escape room = the birth of this fic. it’s chaotic, but so is every escape room experience i’ve had. wtf is this fic.

One of the perks of having Tsuzuru as a boyfriend was that the two of you always found ways to have fun and go out on dates without spending a lot of money. Neither of you were big on splurging out a bunch of money anyway— not with you rather spending your allowance on necessities and Tsuzuru being the King of Part-timers™.

Watching community and college plays, having picnics, movie marathons, making dinner together, going grocery shopping, taking advantage of coupon sites, couples promos and happy hours to get great deals on things you wouldn’t normally be able to just for the ultimate discount...

It was domestic, it was homey, and it was Tsuzuru through and through; you loved every single second of it.

Which was why you were surprised when he suggested going to an escape room together.

“Those can be kind of pricey, right?” you replied, raising your voice slightly to make sure he could hear you despite the noise you were making in the kitchen. You turned the burner to high heat, scooching the veggies over to one side of the pan, melting the remaining butter in the other half.

“Oh, well, a friend gave me a 20% discount coupon. Apparently he didn’t need it anymore,” Tsuzuru’s voice was a little quiet coming from your phone’s speaker, and you quickly put down the soy sauce to adjust the volume before going back to the stove.

“I figured there was some kind of catch,” you replied with a soft chuckle as you continued stirring the veggies and sautéing the rice. “When do you wanna go? I know we’re both busy over the weekend, and that’s when we usually—“

Your hand halted its motions as soon as Tsuzuru uttered the word, “tomorrow.”

It wasn’t like you weren’t free, thankfully you only had one, albeit three hour, lecture during Tuesdays, but wasn’t he saying it a bit suddenly? It was a Monday evening, after all.

“Why tomorrow?”

Your boyfriend’s awkward laughter rang, but he remained undeterred as he explained to you his reasoning— going to an escape room would be a good way to get more writing experience, especially in terms of creating and feeling the ambience.

“Plus, not only is it cheaper if we go together, but the rates are also lower Monday to Thursday,” after a few seconds of silence on your part, he quickly added in, “and! And, we usually don’t have dates like this… so it’ll be fun, right?”

That thought process was so like Tsuzuru that you couldn’t help but smile.

Oh, the rice and veggies were already turning brown?

“You know what? I’m not even surprised,” you commented, adding and stirring in the rest of the ingredients. Ahhh, it was starting to smell heavenly, “by the way, have you had dinner yet?”

“About to. Excited to figure out what kind of curry we’re having,” a giggle escaped you upon hearing Tsuzuru’s deadpan voice, “are you almost done cooking?”

“Just about done!” after giving the rice a taste, you decided to season it with a pinch of salt and pepper, “thanks for giving me your fried rice recipe, by the way. Even though I’m the one cooking it, it feels like I’m about to eat something you made with love~”

As you were pretty much done with the kitchen, Tsuzuru’s exhale was a lot more audible to you. You could already envision the slight quiver in his tight-lipped grin and the way he would avert his eyes for a few seconds as he addressed you.

“Seriously, don’t be so cute,” he said, sounding a little exasperated, “sometimes I don’t know how to respond anymore.”

“A writer at a loss for words?” it was steadily getting difficult to keep the bubbling up amusement in check— you should probably be serving yourself dinner and accomplish your work for the night, but in the same manner it was always fun to flirt with the brunet. “When you put it that way, it makes me want to act even cuter for y—“

“Anyway!” you couldn’t hold back your laughter at his sudden interruption. Alright, that was enough for the both of you tonight.

“So are you free tomorrow?” he asked.

Well, who were you to be able to say no to that?

You completed signing the waiver the staff asked you to fill out, before turning to Tsuzuru.

“I forgot to ask, but which room are we playing? They have, like, 3 different ones here.”

Your eyes followed where Tsuzuru’s pointer finger landed— a simple but eerie poster in black and white, the three masks you could commonly see in craft stores plain and copies of one another, save for one thing. The first mask had gloved hands atop its eyeholes, the second had them covering where the ears would be, and the third had them placed over the lips.

Domain of Discernment.

“I don’t know much about it, but it’s one of the more popular ones. Apparently we’ll be held captive by some serial killer named Sire Maniac, and we’ll have one of our senses taken away,” he explained. Before he could potentially say anymore, one of the personnel went over to bring you right by the room entrance.

After giving a brief rundown of rules and some info about the room itself, she brought out an unused pair of foam earplugs and a blindfold. “Since there’s only two of you, we’ll be taking out the not being able to speak part. Both of you, choose who gets their sight or hearing removed for 50 minutes.”

You and Tsuzuru turned to look at each other, quietly discussing amongst yourselves which option would be more beneficial, coming to the conclusion that you would be the one to don the blindfold and he’d be the one with the earplugs.

“You might accidentally fall asleep if you had the blindfold,” you joked, “besides, I trust you to be able to guide me.”

Not one to be a killjoy or cheat, he plugged in the foam properly as you get your blindfold tied securely by the woman, making sure it definitely wouldn’t loosen up midway through the game.

When the both of you are within the room already, the both of you hear (well, Tsuzuru lip-reads) the woman say one more thing.

“After hand-cuffing you two and I leave the room, the timer will start. Good luck.”

… hand-cuffing?

With a sound of a click and seeing the door shutting from the distance, the both of you knew the timer would be counting down from 50 right about now.

You’re the first to speak up. You’re unsure where he’s facing right now, so you pulled your left hand knowing the pull of the metal chain would catch his attention, and you were right.

At the slight pressure on his right hand, he turned to face you with a hum leaving his mouth, and unexpectedly finding himself stupefied at the sight of you. You opened your mouth to say something, and he can excuse himself all he wanted that it was him not used to lip-reading yet, but he knew it wasn’t the truth.

He felt a little guilty, really. You both knew how flustered or embarrassed he could get around you, but how blissfully unaware you must be right now that his brain was literally mush because of your blindfolded self and how you were handcuffed to him. He, well, he never thought… no, he could never—

Time to kill that train of thought. Right now.

He should really be responding to you right now. What… what were you saying?

“You want me to describe our… surroundings?” he sighed in relief as you nodded. Okay, at least a part of him was still functioning properly. All he had to do was focus on that and not hyper focus on you.

The two of you were in a cell of sorts— barred, jail doors preventing your exit into a much larger room, which inevitably would lead to a door the both of you would escape to.

Though the jail room was significantly smaller, there were an assortment of items to sift and look through— boxes with and without locks, some papers scattered on a small desk, a lampshade that was left turned off, and a CD player were what stood out the most to him.

After relaying it to you, you pulled him again by your shared shackles as you asked him to read out what was in the papers—the first, a hint on how to figure out the number combination to unlock one of the boxes and a code decryption guide.

The second, a torn page from a “book” of either plants or poisons, based on the content and stylisation. Atropa belladonna, also known as deadly nightshade.

“Why are shade and floor highlighted though?”

Another pull on the cuffs. Another look at you— and trying not to be awkward about it as he combined his lip-reading with whatever the earplugs couldn’t block out of your voice.

“Shade? You said there was a lamp shade, right? Maybe a key or something is hidden under there?” you suggested, a pout set on your lips, “don’t know what the relevance of floor is, though.”

He didn’t have to look very far, the papers being situated on the desk beside the lampshade. It’s in his second time staring though that he realised something’s off with it. “You’re right, there’s something in the lampshade.”

When he lifted the bell-shaped cover, he’d come to find that there was no lightbulb in the first place, but a thin flashlight cleverly inserted within a vase. “If there’s a flashlight in the vase, then—“

“Shine a light on the floor!” you exclaimed, excited at the prospect of being able to move forward with the game, despite not being able to see.

Doing just that, he swished the flashlight left and right, verbally listing all the letters he could see.

“X, O, I, C, T…” you repeated, before trying to clap your hands (keyword: trying to, handcuffs say no), “the order is toxic! So the encrypt—“

“I’ll decode it ASAP,” Tsuzuru replied, immediately referring to the guide the “killer” oh so graciously left there.

“The passcode is… 420652,” he fumbled with the digits on the only 6 numbered padlocked box, before grinning, “alright, we got it!”

Another tug, and at this point he’s already aware that tug or pull on the cuff equals you having something to say.

“If they were gonna do a 420 joke, they should’ve inserted a 666 joke for the full eerie, creepy effect.”

Okay, just how was he able to lip read that perfectly? Was he just that used to the dumb jokes you made?

“I can just imagine your dream escape room— all the hints and puzzles are meme related,” the earplugs were unable to block your laugh, ringing through the room as he opened the box. A key, and a CD.

Knowing that between the two remaining boxes left, one of them needed a key so that was pretty much solved. The disc, on the other hand…

He called your name, you turning to face him based on the direction of his voice. “Since there’s a CD player and a CD, and unless I go really close I wouldn’t be able to hear anything—“

“I’ll listen carefully, no sweat!”

“I swear, if I hear the word wall another time, I will scream... and this isn’t even a horror room!”

The two of you came across your first real obstacle. Your audio just talked about poisonous vines growing on walls and other surfaces, while his box just contained another note that neither of you could decipher whatsoever. For five minutes, the two of you stood there, pondering.

Every once in a while, Tsuzuru would check the giant timer— currently displaying that 35 minutes were left.

“… honestly, just give it to me,” you suddenly spoke, Tsuzuru’s shoulders going up in shock.

“Give what?”

“The box! While we try to figure it out, I’ll use my nonexistent luck to just guess the passcode somehow,” you explained, feeling up the type of padlock it was “it’s just rolling everything around anyway until it magically opens.”

Within less than a minute, you had figured out the passcode.

“I’m—“ Tsuzuru trailed off, clearly just as shocked as you were. Your eyes probably would’ve been wide open right now.

“Eye… so this is where all my luck went,” you said, before shaking your head to refocus yourself, “okay! So inside the box is a… another key? It has buttons… car key?”

You hand the object to the brunet, who, upon taking it from you spared no second in his next actions.

“Wall,” he said out loud, pointing the car keys at the wall. With one press of a button, the wall, slowly but surely, opened to reveal another room. Though you couldn’t see it, the sound was loud enough to amaze you as well.

“Worm,” you breathed out, “pretty lit, not gonna lie.”

You wouldn’t know but the room was actually extremely dark, so not lit at all. Thank god he had a flashlight or else the handcuff + your blindfold + him not being able to lip read combo would be… particularly deadly.

The misunderstandings, he could already imagine it. Ah, well, for the writing experience.

“I don’t know what worm means, but yeah, lit.”

“Sorry,” Tsuzuru apologised as he bumped into you for the nth time.

Obstacle number two was unlike any other. It wasn’t another audio recording, neither a puzzle nor riddle.

“Ah, shit, sorry!” you shouted for the nth time, raising your voice as much as you could so Tsuzuru would be able to hear you properly.

This was getting ridiculous. You were able to figure out the meaning of an audio file after a few loops, while Tsuzuru got to work reading more clues and unlocking locks. The real problem, however, was since the room was dark and had limited space, the two of you tended to crash against one another even with what limited movement you could make.

You had to wonder— did the staff get some sort of amusement or feel any pity watching people stumble around in this room through the CCTV? It wasn’t so bad in the jail room, but this closet? storage? room gave you two a run for your money. How did other people get through this room, genuinely? Especially the bigger parties?

“… I have an idea,” Tsuzuru mentioned. You wait for him to tell you what it is, his hesitance confusing you. However, before you could have said anything, you felt his strong arms wrapped around you.

Was… was there an equivalent to a verbal keyboard smash? Even if you weren’t saying it out loud to save you the embarrassment, the fact still stood that your brain was legit going ztesxrdctijmoljhnge right now. Help—

“How does this… help?” you asked, still a little confused by his motive. He wasn’t really one for PDA, and despite the two of you being the only ones in the room the fact still stood that the escape room staff are probably required to glance at the CCTV monitors every once in a while to check up on you two.

“Since we’re… handcuffed, and there’s barely any space it’d be better to just stay together,” he explained as nonchalantly as possible, “sorry, it’s just for this room. We’ll go back to normal when we get to the last room.”

See, if your brain was working right now, you’d be able to think of a counter or a better solution— actually, if you could see right now maybe you could point out something about Tsuzuru’s face that screamed he was lying, but something about escape rooms just made your logic go brrr.

That, or you were just a simp for your own boyfriend.

… not gonna lie, the chances of it being both were pretty high.

“Makes sense. Can’t bump into each other when you’re already stuck together,” you said, already convincing yourself.

Sorry to whoever’s manning the CCTV monitor, it was their fault for handcuffing the two of you anyway.

Well, this set up wasn’t that bad. Other than, you know, getting to hug Tsuzuru, you were able to still keep doing your task while he did—

You heard the padlock unlock after your fingers pressed a certain combination of numbers. Pushing the device upwards, the cabinet doors opened as you removed the lock.

“It’s a digit push combination padlock! How are you doing this? Blindfolded?”

“I… I have guessing powers. For locks.”

“I’m considering robbing a bank or business with you now.”

“Awww, cute couple’s date idea!”

After two or three minutes of Tsuzuru doing some last minute riddle solving, the sound of jingling keys and him letting go of you let you know of one thing— you two were almost out.

With a writer compromising one half of the team, and an exceptional guesser and context clue figure-outer as the other half, you weren’t gonna lie— the last room was kind of anti-climatic to go through.

…

SIKE!

Every time the two of you ever accomplished anything, be it decrypting a message, unlocking something, or finding a hidden item the two of you still reacted to it— Tsuzuru being more on the shookt side and you being on the hype side.

With fifteen minutes to spare, only one thing was left to do— finding who Sire Maniac’s real name, and then decoding that name into number form so you could use it on the exit’s number pad lock. It was pretty obvious to you that you had to use the number equivalents of the name, but first… you needed to know the name.

“You sure you don’t want to try your luck?” Tsuzuru teased, procuring a huff out of you.

There were only two clues. The first was a letter to an A. R. Nicolas, detailing something about being thankful for a book.

Initially, the two of you thought that that A. R. Nicolas would be his real name, but clearly it was some sort of pen name based on the second clue— several torn pages from a book penned by the very same A. R. Nicolas the letter was addressed to.

It was clear— Sire Maniac and A. R. Nicolas were the same person, but what was his third identity? His real identity?

“What are the poisons on the torn pages again? Those usually have something to do with the answer,” you asked Tsuzuru. The sound of shuffling of paper entered your ears as he began listing them off.

“Ricin, amatoxin, tetradotoxin, chloropicrin, batrachotoxin… and arsenic.”

“Huh… arsenic is the only one that ends differently, lol,” you pointed out with a laugh, before it quickly died as the realisation dawned on you, “no fucking way.”

“Okay what the hell, I think you’re on to something,” Tsuzuru replied hastily, “because A. R. Nicolas, as in A. R. Nic. Arsenic.”

“Tsuzuru. Tsuzuru. Tsuzuru—“ you chanted, before laying out one last game-changer, “Sire Maniac. Is a fucking anagram. For I am Arsenic.”

With a speedy enter of the number 2773642, the two of you had achieved freedom.

“Not gonna lie, some parts of it were a little cliche, but… I had fun,” you told him, the two of you walking home together, “I felt simultaneously dumb and a genius at the same time.”

“Same to both, honestly,” Tsuzuru replied, before looking down at your hand linked with his. “Huh, haven’t you had enough of being stuck with me?”

You rolled your eyes. “I could say the same to you— didn’t you totally take advantage of us being handcuffed together? Or me being blindfolded?”

It was just a joke, but Tsuzuru’s sudden sputtering caught you off guard. Did… aha, no way, did he actually enjoy that gimmick?

“Tsu~ zu~ ru~”

“Whatever you’re thinking, that’s not it—“

“Are you sure? Because—“

“You’re misunderstanding something.”

“I’m just saying, it’s better to be honest~”

As the stoplight turned red, the two of you finally found the time to take a good look at each other. The laughter that erupted was instantaneous.

“Thanks for going out with me today,” Tsuzuru said softly, the blooming smile on his face impossible for you to not mirror.

“Thank you for inviting me,” you replied, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After a few seconds, the stoplight turned green, and the two of you continue making your way back home.

want to order again?

𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐬: ⤷ curium fairway (the person who sent arsenic the letter) is an anagram for “i am currywaifu”.

⤷ the “reader is good at guessing part” is just based off of me. being really good at guessing padlock combinations. ⤷ the hugging part was based on my two irl friends (who are dating) hugging in front of the cctv

⤷ the “one sense gets removed” and “being handcuffed to someone” part is based on two different escape rooms i played

⤷ i wasn’t supposed to make a whole concept for the escape room with media and riddles... but i decided to finally make use of all the research i did before on poison. am i on a watchlist?

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#tsuzuru minagi #tsuzuru minagi x reader #minagi tsuzuru #cafe: dessert menu #a3! tsuzuru #a3! imagines #a3! x reader

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champhangman · 4 years

Text

Bleed Into the Night

Title: Bleed Into the Night Part: Three / ? Characters: Hangman Adam Page x OFC Summary: She wasn’t looking. Neither was he. For a brief flash, they found each other. Word Count: 11,138 Warnings: Alcohol use. Mild cursing. Previous: Part One | Part Two

Tagging: @adampage / @cowboyshit / @baysexuality / @lilmisswhiskeygypsy / @bigpixiefoot / @mindofasagittaruis / @kalliravenne / @sadlittlecountess / @baronsbelleevangeline / @brie-mode-activated / @xbreezymeadowsx / @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch /

-----

At first, it was easy. Adam didn't have to put too much thought into pretending to date Serena. When he opened Twitter and saw things she had posted, it wasn't difficult to like the post and keep going. When Britt asked him backstage, barely a week after he'd met Serena, if they'd gone on their first date yet, he was able to shake his head and tell her they were waiting for their schedules to mesh. And he was busy with work. He went to a toy convention to see the action figures that would be released in the fall. The next day he, Kenny, Nick, and Matt filmed a commercial for the figures. And it seemed that every day there were more and more media interviews to do. Podcasts to appear on. Not to mention he was just getting into the groove of shows on weekends. He was busier than he had been in years.

His sole interaction with Serena that wasn't on social media that first week was a late-night text to make sure they were really going through with the plan. She hadn't replied until the next morning, telling him that yes, they were. Ten minutes later she had texted again to let him know that Cole was trying to talk her into going to the AEW pay-per-view next month, since Cole would be accompanying Britt.

He didn't know how that would work. Surely NXT was putting a show on the same night? He messaged her to let him know if she was coming so he could see to it she got the proper VIP treatment.

And had received no reply.

After two weeks, he began to feel that just saying they were going to go out at some point was enough. Britt hadn't cornered him or pestered him anymore, merely asking if he'd talked to Serena lately. She seemed satisfied with his lie that they talked nearly every day, but when he told her that they were both too busy to have a date she looked skeptical.

Watching her walk away to sit at a table in catering, he heaved a sigh and pulled out his phone. This was bullshit. If he was going to fake date someone he would at least like to, if not literally go on a date, talk to them occasionally. What was the point of having a woman pretending to go out with him if he couldn't fucking talk to her?

Pulling up Serena's info, he hit the call button and made his way to an empty table.

"Hello?"

"Hey," he greeted. Remembering that he wasn't supposed like her, he wondered why the fuck he'd called her. But it was too late to hang up. "You busy?"

"I just finished up at the PC. What's up?"

"I was just checking in. Haven't talked to you today," he said, aware of Britt watching him.

"Oh," Serena said, dragging the syllable out. "Sorry about that. I've been busy."

"I know. Me too." He picked at the label on his bottle of water. "What were you doing at the PC? Working on your enzuigiri?"

"Fuck that move," she muttered. "No, today was promo work."

"How's your promo?"

"Abysmal." She sighed. "Hang on a second."

Adam took a sip of water, halfway listening as she spoke to someone about the show that night. Her promo was abysmal? He wondered why. He knew that company tended to script a promo down to breaths and pauses. Would she do better if given free reign? She was saying she was excited to wear her new gear and he sat back with a soft grunt. He had no idea what her gear looked like.

He had no idea what her wrestling was like. Yeah, he'd seen her a couple of times when he'd watched NXT. But truth be told, he'd only seen the ending of her matches. He was sure he remembered a powerbomb. But nothing else. And not even the vaguest memory of what her gear had looked out.

What a shitty fake boyfriend he was turning out to be.

"Sorry, what were we talking about?"

"Your promo."

"Ugh," she groaned. "They had me practicing babyface skills and do you know what?"

"What?" Was she a babyface? Or a heel? How could he not know anything about her career? Other than what she'd shared when they'd been in the pool, which hadn't been much. In fact, except for saying she'd been so nervous she'd thrown up before her first televised match, she hadn't mentioned WWE or NXT at all. No, she'd said that she'd applied and tried out for the hell of it and still couldn't believed she'd been signed. And what little bit he'd seen of her work hadn't been enough to know anything about her character.

"I am not cut out to be a babyface."

"No? I thought you just radiated sweetness and light," he teased. Because it was easy to tease her. He had only spent a few hours in her company, but he could imagine her eyes rolling. He liked teasing her, he decided when her reluctant laugh rang in his ear.

"Right now I'm radiating sweat because my car is hotter than the inner circle of hell. And I thought you were the sweetheart?"

"Yes, ma'am," he allowed. When she didn't reply, he pulled his phone from his ear to make sure the call hadn't been dropped. "…You still with me?"

"Yeah…"

"Where's the show tonight?" he asked after a moment.

She cleared her throat. "Jacksonville. I'm about to head that way now. Are you working tonight? Shit… I should know that, shouldn't I?"

"It's fine." He wasn't about to admit that he only knew she was working because he'd overheard her saying so. "We're in Jacksonville too."

"Ooh, competition," she cooed. "I'm surprised Cole didn't tell me."

"Yeah, Britt didn't tell me, either." Adam glanced over to the woman, but she was walking out of catering. At the door, she glanced back and gave him a smirk. What the hell—

"We're such dumbasses!" Serena suddenly yelped.

Adam rubbed his chin. "I'm not gonna disagree, but why?"

"They probably assume we both already know. Duh," she snorted. "We're supposed to be talking practically every day. Of course we'd know. Which means—"

"Yep." Adam lightly banged his fist against his forehead. He knew exactly what it meant. He bumped his forehead harder, as though to punish his brain for being so fucking stupid. For thinking that this would be even remotely easy. That explained Britt's face when he'd said they were still looking for a good time to go out. "Shit."

"It'll be weird if we don't."

He didn't have to ask what she meant. He already knew. And he couldn't ask her the question because the whole point of this bullshit ruse was that he didn't have to ask her. He almost drove his fist against his skull harder but stopped, dropping his hand to his thigh with a loud slap. "Fuck."

"No, no, we're smart. We can figure this out."

"You just said we're dumbasses," he reminded her, standing and carrying his empty bottle to the trashcan. Nodding in greeting to Matt, he headed in the direction of the locker room. "You could just come to my apartment?"

"And let everyone think we're having sex?"

He pulled the phone away and scowled. Did she have to sound like the idea was repulsive? "You got a better idea?"

"I think my hotel has a bar."

"Okay?"

"Then we can meet there."

And do what, exactly? Sit there and drink? He could do that on his own. He sighed. "Yeah, sure."

"We could go to a different bar," she suggested. "Unless you can come up with something else."

His mind went blank. He'd spent enough time in the city to know places to visit after a show. Had gone to several with his friends. And yet he couldn't think of one place they could go for their non-date. "I'll figure something out," he finally said. "Text me your hotel."

"Why?"

"So I can pick you up."

"Oh right. Southern gentleman." He heard a rustling, then the monotonous chime that meant a car door was open. "Sure. I'm about to get gas then hit the road, I'll text you before I leave here."

"I thought they got vans or buses when y'all were in Florida."

"I prefer to drive myself. And it's only a couple of hours."

"Not taking it slow today, huh?" he asked, smiling as he remembered their chat about drive times. He leaned against the wall outside the locker room, glancing up when Nick came to the door.

"I'm not on my own schedule so I can't," Serena said.

"Hey, we're ready to do that bit when you are," Nick told him.

Then the bastard stood there. Waiting.

"I gotta go," he muttered into the phone. "I'll see you tonight."

"I'll text you," she promised before the call ended.

Adam used the hem of his t-shirt to polish the screen before sliding his phone into his pocket. Feeling Nick's inquisitive gaze, he reached to run his fingers through his hair. And, when Nick didn't speak, he sighed. "What?"

"Who are you seeing tonight?"

Shit. "Um… Lots of people?"

Nick rolled his eyes.

"Britt introduced me to someone," Adam said. "We're going to meet up after the show."

Nick's lips parted, and Adam knew he was about to say Again? But he closed his mouth and nodded. "Is she coming to the show?"

"Nah, she's gotta work." He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Two short vibrations to let him know he'd received two texts. Predicting they were from Serena, he didn't bother checking.

"What's she do?"

"She's with NXT."

"Yeah? Wrestler?"

"Yeah. Her name's Serena."

Nick shook his head. "I've heard the name but I'm not familiar with her."

Neither was he. He really needed to remedy that. It would at least give them something to talk about during their date that wasn't a date. Pushing away from the wall, he followed Nick into the locker room. He was surprised to see it empty. He pulled off his shirt and moved to get the one he was supposed to wear for the bit. "We met a couple weeks ago. We haven't been able to get together yet. They're in town for a show tonight, so…"

"Where are you taking her?"

"I don't have a fucking clue," he admitted. "Still trying to figure that out."

"I'm sure something will come to you," Nick assured him. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

A short while later he returned to the locker room and dropped onto the couch to relax for a bit before the chaos of the show started. Settling back, he reached for his phone to see the texts from Serena. Making note of her hotel, he propped his feet on the arm of the couch while the others milled around. He barely heard their discussions about that night's matches, merch sales, and everything else as he checked his social media. Twitter was calm for the moment, though he noted some more people had commented on his and Serena's tweets.

Apparently, fans were shipping them. Whatever the fuck that meant.

He moved to Instagram and pulled up her account. His thumb swiped the screen, scrolling past her most recent posts. He stopped randomly and tapped on the photo his thumb was hovering over, eyebrows lifting at the sight of her with teal hair. He wondered why she didn't keep her hair its natural hue. Eyes scanning the caption while Kenny, Nick, and Matt continued to chatter around him, he chuckled.

I'm an f'n mermaid. Trading in my wrestling boots for a fin ASAP!

He instinctively double-tapped the screen, then muttered a curse under his breath when he realized he'd done so. He almost unliked it then shrugged. It wasn't as though he'd gone to a picture she'd posted eight years before. Backing out to her profile, he scrolled towards her more recent pictures. There weren't, he saw, many pictures of her. She seemed to love sunsets and even as he tucked that nugget of information away for later, he wondered why he deemed it important. She also posted a lot of pictures of a cactus in a window. When he finally saw her face again he stopped to open the post, snorting softly at the sight of her standing next to a proud-looking Triple H. it must have been after her debut on NXT. He liked it then went through more and was taking a sip of his drink when he saw her most recent post.

It had been taken at Britt and Cole's. He immediately recognized the patio table with the spread of food, and the twinkling fairy lights above it. And there she was, back to the scene, her pink hair wet and messy, her lips tilted in a secret smile.

Damn, she was pretty. He let himself admire the dimple in her left cheek, then studied the rest of the picture, smiling when he recognized himself in the background, laughing. She must have taken it right before they sat down to eat. What had he been laughing at? He couldn't remember.

He just remembered that he hadn't laughed so much in a long time.

His gaze dipped to read the caption and he felt his lips tug into a smile.

Good times. Good friends. Good food. Good beginning?

"What's got you grinning?"

Adam jerked his head up to find his three friends looking at him, each with a mixture of amusement and confusion on their face. He grunted as water splashed from the bottle and onto his chest and sat upright. "Huh?"

"We've been talking to you for like ten minutes," Nick said. He looked the least confused.

No they hadn't. Adam hadn't even been in the room for ten minutes. Had he? Looking to his phone to check the time, he saw with irritation that an hour had slipped by. He hadn't been on her Instagram that long, had he? Surely not. Matt or Nick would have begun kicking him if he'd ignored them for so long. "What?"

"Who is she?" Matt asked.

A small part of him was surprised that Nick hadn't already blabbed. No, he shouldn't be surprised. Nick didn't blab. He didn't share things that weren't work-related unless he was specifically told he could. One of many reasons why Adam appreciated having him as a friend. Brushing the water from his chest, he looked to Matt warily. "How do you know it's a she?"

"I can see the picture, dumbass."

Oh. Fuck. He looked to his phone. "Oh. Right. That's Serena."

"She's very pretty," Kenny commented.

"Thanks." Adam screwed up his face. Thanks? Like he had anything to do with her attractiveness. "I mean, yeah, she is."

"Who is she?" Matt asked again, snapping his gum.

"I just told you," Adam said slowly.

"Lay off, Matt." This from Nick, who'd leaned to get a look at the photo. Leaning back, he smiled. "She is pretty."

"Britt and Cole introduced us," Adam explained to Matt with a sigh. "We're going out tonight."

"She coming to the show?" Matt's eyebrows raised.

"No. She's got to work. She's with NXT. Yes, she's a wrestler. We just met a couple weeks ago and haven't had a chance to go out yet. No, I don't know where I'm taking her, but I'll figure it out. Any more questions?"

"Can we meet her?" Nick asked with a smile.

"Fuck no."

"We'll be nice," Matt promised.

"Double fuck no." Pretend or not, if he introduced her to the clowns he called his friends, she would run for the hills. Or at least call for an Uber. God, just the idea… Well, he supposed Kenny wouldn't scare her off. But the doofuses asking to meet her? They would pester the fuck out of her. They'd ask her a million questions as though interviewing her for some extremely sensitive job. Matt, aggressively chomping his gum and firing off questions faster than she could answer, his manic energy in every word. Nick, watching her with that speculative gaze that unnerved people who didn't know him. He almost shuddered.

"C'mon, we want to meet her."

"No."

"Please?"

"If I say yes will you shut the hell up?"

"Yeah."

"Then yes. But also no."

"What's wrong with us?" Matt demanded.

"What isn't wrong with you?" Adam retorted.

"I'm offended," Matt gasped, clapping a hand over his chest. "You're ashamed of us, aren't you?"

"When it comes to this sort of shit? Yeah," he admitted. He looked down at his phone, made sure to like the picture, the locked it and shoved it into his pocket while he rose to his feet.

Matt's demeanor shifted to somewhat normal. "You really don't want your girlfriend to meet us?"

"She's not my girlfriend," he said quickly.

"Your soon-to-be girlfriend, then."

"She's not that either. She's…" Not interested in me at all and this is all a farce. Hah! Ain't that some shit? He tried to picture what their reaction would be. But all he could see was them as they were now. Kenny, interested but calm. Matt, eyes wide and anticipating an answer. Nick, a smile pulling on his lips.

"It's too early to say what she is," he finally managed. "We've only talked a few times—" Lies. "And… I don't know, man. She seems cool."

"Cool," Nick repeated, and Adam didn't know if he was questioning Adam's summation of Serena or just agreeing with him.

"So when do we get to meet her?" Matt demanded.

"Never," Adam muttered.

They continued to pester him the rest of the afternoon. Matt had questions, as always. Nick, too, but to a lesser extent. Kenny's only question was had Adam decided where he was taking her after the show.

"Not a fucking clue," Adam groaned while lacing up his boots.

His phone chimed behind him on the bench but he ignored it.

"Well you have to think of something," Kenny pointed out, reaching behind Adam. He chuckled. "Heart eyes?"

"What." Adam snapped upright so quickly his head swam. "Heart eyes?"

"Serena. Heart eyes. Heart eyes."

It was then that he saw Kenny was holding his phone. "Huh," he chuckled nervously, taking the phone and sitting down. He didn't know whether to tell Kenny she had done it or let the man assume he'd done it himself. But he was distracted by the message she had sent him.

Just got to the venue and it has been decided for me that I'm coming with Cole to Daily's. Told him I was leaving our date up to you and if you don't have something we're going bar hopping with him and Britt.

"Fuck me," he groaned.

"Bad news?"

"Not bad. Not good, either. But not bad." Just the worst.

"Come on. It's not the end of the world, is it?"

"No, no, it's fine," he murmured, hunching forward to compose a reply.

Bar hopping? I don't know. I was thinking just one bar. There's a little honkytonk I know that has karaoke on weekends if you're into that. I don't sing but it's a nice little place.

Her reply was quick. That sounds fun. You don't sing? Shame. I do. Will they kick me out if I don't wear cowboy boots?

He chuckled. She'd look cute in… No, no, he couldn't allow his thoughts to stray in that direction, no matter how enticing the idea. No, you can wear whatever. They might kick you out if you don't practice your enzuigiri though.

Just for that, I'm gonna make you sing tonight.

Oh no.

What had he gotten himself into?

***

What had she gotten herself into?

It had seemed so easy. Serena would drive Cole over to Daily’s, he and Britt would go off and do their thing, and she and Adam could leave to do… Whatever they were going to do. Simple. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, as her niece would say. She hadn't paid attention to Cole's threat of bar hopping. A nice little honkytonk sounded fun, and Cole wasn't into karaoke. It would all be fine. Right?

Wrong.

As it turned out, Britt was into karaoke. And wouldn't it just be so much fun for them to make it a double date? Cole didn't care as long as he could have a few drinks with his beloved.

Standing outside her car, Serena looked to Adam for help. It was already too late, though, because Britt was asking someone if they would take her and Cole's luggage to the hotel. Adam sent her an apologetic look, and damn the man for looking so adorably sorry that she couldn't be irritated with him. Not that it was his fault, anyway.

"You can put your stuff in the back," she said, hitting the button on her key fob to open the trunk. She moved to the back of the car, lifting an eyebrow at the sound of clinking when he placed his backpack on the ground.

"Tag team belt," he explained before slinging his suitcase into the trunk. He set the backpack next to it and closed the trunk with more force than necessary. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I slam it all the time."

"No, not that—Well, yeah, that too," he corrected. "I mean about them."

She shrugged. It was done now. She supposed they could be sneaky and leave before Britt and Cole made it back to the car, but she didn't relish their complaints if they did so. "How was the show?"

His smile was brighter than the lights illuminating the parking lot. "We tore it down."

"You and Omega are the tag champs, right?" She shrugged again when he looked to her. "I Googled you."

"Yeah, we're the champs." He looked over to the group of people that Cole and Britt were chatting with. "Do you know him?"

"No. Cole talks about him a lot, though."

"You want to meet him?"

"Meet him?"

"C'mon, he won't bite." Adam hesitated. "Unless you ask nicely."

The breeze carried her laugh away as she walked with him towards the group. Her steps faltered when she saw every head swivel to watch their approach and she tugged at Adam's sleeve. "You said Omega, not the whole damn roster…"

"It's not the whole roster," he promised. "Just don't let Nick and Matt intimidate you."

"Nick and Matt?" she echoed, but he'd already planted his hand at the small of her back and propelled her forward.

"New blood! New blood!"

"Man, chill, you know that's Cole's protégé!"

"Marq and Isiah," Adam said with a smile, nudging her forward a couple of more steps. "Guys, this is Serena."

One second, she was standing with Adam. The next she was being tugged into a welcoming hug by Marq – or was it Isiah? – and greeted excitedly. She could have sworn one of them said he'd heard a lot about her. From Adam? She glanced to him, saw his quick shrug, then turned back to the two men. "Hi," she greeted, reaching to push her hair behind her ear. "Nice to meet you."

They were fun and lively and brimming with youthful energy, and after two minutes of chatting she felt as if she'd known them for years. It was impossible not to smile while talking to them. Promising to come to a show to see them in action soon, she felt almost dizzy when they departed.

"Serena," a gentle voice greeted. She turned and, recognizing the man, smiled.

"Kenny. You've heard a lot about me too?" she guessed.

"Enough to know that you need to work on your—"

"Don't say the word," she begged, slipping her hand into his for a brief shake. "It causes flashbacks."

"Perhaps you need a better teacher?" Kenny suggested.

"Hey!" Cole protested.

"He acts like he's my teacher." Feeling a gentle hand on her back, she knew without looking that it was Adam. She wasn't sure how she knew and decided to not ponder that at the moment, instead smiling up at Kenny. "When he's really just my self-appointed brother, determined to make my life a living hell."

"Doesn't he do that to everyone?"

"Fuck you," Cole said, giving Kenny a light shove. Then he glared at Serena. "And fuck you, too."

"He always comes out with the 'fuck you' when he knows he can't defend the statement," Kenny said in an aside.

"But he'll keep trying," Serena sighed.

"You're goddamn right he will." Kenny's smile was pleasant. "It was great meeting you, Serena. I'll see you soon."

She watched him walk off, then turned to face Adam. His hand was still on her back, and she swallowed as her movement caused his arm to wrap around her. She lightly tapped his chest. "I think—"

"Cole! We didn't know you were coming!"

Serena watched Adam's face slide from easygoing to annoyed in half a second. She heard Cole say that he'd tagged along with her and could have sworn that Adam winced as the man who'd called to Cole spoke again.

"Serena? She's here?"

She turned at that and saw two men approaching. Recognizing them, she lifted her hand in a wave. Adam's fingers curled against her back and she thought she heard him mutter several curses under his breath. About to turn to ask what was wrong, she instead took a tiny step back when the men's faces split into wide grins.

"Oh, fuck," Adam muttered. Then, with a sigh, he said, "I'm so sorry."

"Why? What's wrong?" Confused, she looked to the two men. "Hi?"

"I didn't think he'd actually let us meet you."

"I thought for sure he'd never bring you close to us."

She blanked on their names. She knew they were the Young Bucks but had never paid enough attention to their looks to know which was which. The one on her right was just an inch or two shorter than the other, his thinly bearded jaw working furiously on the gum he was chewing. The one to the left regarded her with a faint smile, though she couldn't shake the feeling that he was inspecting her. Suddenly self-conscious, she took another small step back and looked from one to the other. "Why wouldn't he bring me close to you?"

"He's ashamed of us," the gum chewer sighed with a dramatic roll of his eyes. "Thinks we'll scare you off."

"Which is crazy, because we're two of the nicest people on the planet," his brother assured her.

"It's been my experience that people who brag about their niceness have a tendency to be assholes," she said without thinking. Grateful when they burst into laughter, she felt herself relax. And noticed that Adam's hand was still firmly on her back. As though prepared to haul her away from them.

"I'm Matt." The gum chewing ceased for two seconds. "And I have a feeling we're going to become the best of friends."

"Nick." He extended his hand with a warm, welcoming smile. "I promise, I try my best not to be an asshole."

Matt's eyes lit up. "So, where are you two headed?"

Serena faltered. "Oh. I, um. I—"

"We're going for a drink," Adam cut in.

"Really? Where? We might drop in."

"Adam said something about a honkytonk with karaoke?" Serena offered. Glancing down, she saw that she and Nick were still clasping hands and gently pulled hers away.

"The place we went to last time?" Matt asked Adam.

She watched his face as he processed the question. Felt his heavy sigh before he nodded. "But I don't—"

"We love karaoke!" Matt exclaimed. "Don't we, Nick?"

"You love karaoke. I love watching you make an idiot of yourself," Nick corrected. His blue eyes swiveled to Serena again. "He's always doing it, which means I'm always having a good time."

"You don't sing?" she asked.

"Only when no one can hear me," he laughed. "And when I'm far away from dogs and children."

"That bad?"

"Worse."

"I love to sing, but I don't know that I'm good. I don't even care if I'm good. I just like having fun. Like I know I'm a terrible dancer but that doesn't stop me from putting on shows for my houseplants when I'm home…" She was rambling. She forced herself to stop and looked at Adam, saw this his annoyance appeared to have eased. When he caught her looking at him, his lips tipped into a small smile. She felt his fingers relax and was surprised when his thumb began to lightly stroke. Probably an involuntary movement, she told herself. She gave the hem of his t-shirt a gentle tug and smiled up at him. She wanted to ask him if he'd mind of Matt and Nick went to the bar with them, since it was obvious that Cole and Britt would be tagging along. A group thing would be easier, right? There would be other people to talk to. He wouldn't have to feel obligated to talk to her much.

Or maybe he wanted to talk to her?

His fingers squeezed at her back. "We better get going. Don't wanna miss last call."

"Definitely not," she agreed, looking to Matt and Nick. "Great meeting you."

"You, too," they said in unison.

"They're nice," she said as she and Adam walked away.

"Yeah?" he sounded doubtful.

"Do they usually embarrass you?"

"More than you'd think," he admitted. He dipped his head so he could speak lower. "You want to try to leave without Cole and Britt?"

She sneaked a glance over her shoulder and saw that Cole was in deep conversation with Nick and Matt. "You think we can?"

"Don't say anything," he murmured. "We'll sneak away."

"Do you want to drive?" she asked softly when they reached the car. "Since you know where it is?"

While she passed him the keys and they climbed in, she kept expecting to hear Britt or Cole call out to them. They didn't, though, not even during the long while it took Adam to get the seat adjusted for his height. She sneaked another glance as she closed the door, and her sigh of relief mirrored his.

"Did you sneak out a lot when you were a kid?" she asked once he'd started the engine.

"Didn't really have to sneak out. I had to sneak back in a lot, though," he said with a chuckle. Planting his hand on the back of her seat, he turned to watch as he reversed the car.

"How do you sneak in?" She had to ask. Talking took her mind off the aroma of his cologne and the fact that her car suddenly seemed tiny.

"I grew up in the country, you know? So sneaking in meant I turned the headlights and engine off about a mile from the house and I would coast up the path. I always drove my dad's old truck and it coasted like a dream." His sigh was reminiscent. He waved to the security guard at the parking lot exit. "Mama locked all the doors at midnight, so I'd have to climb the tree at the back of the house and slip in the upstairs bathroom window because it was the only one without a lock. I only got caught once, and I was able to lie my ass off and swear I was in my room the whole time and was getting ready to take a shower. I don't think Mama believed me but she didn't catch me coming in the window, so I was safe."

"Why did you have to turn the headlights off?" She was enthralled. It sounded like something out of some stupid teen movie, but coming from him, it was believable in its ridiculousness. And so different from when she had missed curfew as a teen.

"So my brother wouldn't see them through the window and tattle on me. And I coasted because Dad's old dog would bark his head off if he heard an engine."

"He didn't bark if he heard the door shut?"

"Oh I just climbed out the window. Caught hell for leaving it down when it rained one night, but I was young and stupid." He stopped for the red light and looked at her. "Didn't you grow up in the country?"

"I grew up outside of Modesto."

"Britt told me you're from Montana."

"I was born there, but my parents moved to California when I was three."

"So you do have country roots."

"I don't remember it, so they're flimsy roots," she decided with a roll of her eyes. "I didn't learn how to coast a mile down the road and shimmy up a tree if I got home past curfew."

"What happened if you missed curfew?"

"Mom would call my cell phone to check on me. And she'd wait up until I got home." Serena smiled at the thought of her mother. She really needed to spend her days off with her parents. She missed the comfort of her family.

"I had a cell but I was always so deep in the sticks the signal wouldn't reach."

She opened her mouth to ask more about where he'd grown up. The only thing she knew about Virginia was what she'd seen of Richmond and Norfolk when going to shows. She had an inkling that his hometown was a far cry from either of those cities. Drawing in a breath, she grunted when her cell phone began to ring.

"How much you want to bet that's Britt?" Adam asked.

"It could be Cole," she pointed out, leaning to retrieve it from the cupholder. Turning to see the screen, she huffed. "You win."

"Knew I should've made you bet," he muttered. "Are you gonna answer?"

Serena looked at the screen for several seconds. Adam had told the Bucks where they were going. No matter what, Britt and Cole would show up. She concluded that she could handle Britt's irritation better once she had a drink or two and rejected the call, then silenced her phone.

"Now she's gonna call me," Adam told her.

"Are you gonna answer?" she asked, snorting as his phone began to vibrate on the console between them.

"Hell no."

"Good boy."

He turned his head slowly to look at her, and she saw his lips twitching into a small, pleased smile. His tongue darted over his lips before he looked forward, his breath exhaling in a stuttered rush.

He liked being called a good boy. Interesting, she thought, tilting her head so she looked out the window instead of at him. Wondering why, without warning, she felt a stab of desire.

***

A reedy voice was murdering a pop song when they entered the bar. Adam glanced around the barroom and motioned to a table almost in the corner, close to the bar. When Serena nodded, he slipped his hand to the small of her back to guide her in that direction, lifting his chin in greeting when he spotted a couple of familiar faces.

Just as they got their drinks and he was thinking of what to say, he heard a familiar voice from the entrance. Not wanting to be obvious, he glanced over while taking a sip of his beer, lowering the mug with a sigh. "They found us."

Her back was to the door, and she obviously didn't want to be obvious either. "Which they?"

He watched over her shoulder as the group of people entering grew. "Britt. Cole. Matt. Nick. Brandon. Cash and Dax."

"Do they see us?"

They were impossible to miss, what with her neon pink hair glowing like a beacon in the soft lighting. The thought had just crossed his mind when Britt's eyes landed on them. She waved, even though he wasn't looking directly at her, and they began to descend upon their table. "Yeah, they see us."

There was noise and commotion as the empty table next to theirs was dragged over to make more room. Chairs screeched across the floor in a way that made Adam cringe, and the weary-looking server approached with dread. He frowned against he rim of his mug when everyone squeezed in between him and Serena, then decided that he didn't mind. Until he saw Nick leaning in to speak with her. He wondered what he said to make her smile like that. It lit up her face, and even from across the way he could see her dimple.

The weary server returned with drinks, plunked a fresh beer in front of Adam, and smiled when Brandon thanked her sweetly. Conversations began to rise and fall around him, and he joined in when directly spoken to, the questions he had thought to ask Serena falling to the back of his mind.

What the hell were they talking about? Their heads were close together and he could see from the way Nick's hands were moving that they were discussing something important. Serena was nodding. Smiling. And when Nick's hand made a slicing motion through the air she began to laugh.

A foot slammed against his leg and he jerked up, glaring in the direction it had come from. Britt tilted her head to the side, eyes questioning, then announced she was going to sing. Some of the group at the table called out requests as she crossed to the small stage. Moments later a slow song began and there were several groans from his friends when she began to sing a love song.

"Leave her alone," Cole said, raising his voice so they could all hear him. "I'm the reason she sings love songs these days."

That only made the chorus of groans grow louder. Adam joined in, because tormenting Cole was fun, and was sliding into Britt's empty seat so he and his friend could bullshit when movement across the table caught his eye.

Nick was standing. Then Serena was, too. And then, with the barest of glances towards him, she took Nick's outstretched hand and let him lead her to the little dance floor.

Five heads turned to look at Adam, with varying degrees of puzzlement.

All he could do was shrug. So she wanted to dance with Nick. What was it to him? It wasn't like he wanted to dance. Not to the overly sweet, sappy song that Britt was crooning.

"What the hell, man?" Cole asked once conversation had resumed around them.

Adam shrugged again. "Not like I dance, Cole."

"Still."

"It's not that big a deal."

But, he thought when Cole shrugged and began talking about work, it felt like somewhat of a deal. Even if this whole thing wasn't real, it stung a little to see her obviously having fun with another man. He lifted his drink, intending to take a small sip, only to gulp it down when he glanced over and saw her being twirled.

Fucking Nick, he thought with a scowl. No, he corrected, reminding himself that Nick was one of his best friends. He was just being nice. Making sure she felt welcomed into their close-knit group. That was the Nick he knew. The people pleaser, the one who wanted to make sure everyone was being included and having a good time. Even when doing so made him forget to have a good time himself.

But did the bastard have to enjoy himself so much?

"Where are you going?" This from Cole.

Who, Adam realized as he rose to his feet, had been mid-sentence when he'd shoved his chair away from the table. Draining the rest of his beer in one gulp, he set the glass down with a sigh. "Bathroom."

He went in that direction, even though he didn't have to use it. He just couldn't fight the sudden urge to move. To look at something other than the two people dancing. Once in the bathroom he leaned over the sink with a sigh.

"Dammit," he muttered to the shadow of his head darkening the porcelain.

How the fuck could he be jealous over a woman he didn't like?

With another heavy sigh he lifted his head and glanced to his reflection.

Because, maybe, he did like her.

And how could he not?

He washed his hands, bending to scoop the cool water into his mouth. As though doing so could rinse away the sourness. Okay, so he liked her. That was fine. It didn't mean anything. He liked a lot of people. He liked Britt. That didn't mean he got upset when she spent time with her boyfriend.

As comparisons went, it was the palest possible. But it was the best he could do.

When he returned to the barroom the song was over. His gaze darted and he saw Nick at the table. The seat next to his was empty. He looked to the left, saw the flash of pink that was Serena's hair. She looked over as soon as his eyes landed on her, and her smile lit up the room. Then she was walking away from Britt, slipping by a group of women crowding the bar.

Walking straight towards him.

He felt his lips curving as she approached. Felt them pull further, until it almost matched her smile. "Hey."

"Hey, I think Nick is—"

"Someone you might be interested in?" he interrupted. Then, feeling like a complete ass when she reared back slightly, he groaned. "What?"

"I was going to say I think Nick is ready to leave," she said, enunciating each word with obvious care. Then her brow furrowed. "And what the hell did that mean?"

"He's been flirting with you since he got here," Adam pointed out. He was sure that if he looked over at the table, he'd see Nick watching them with that thoughtful expression. Like he was waiting for the opportune moment to play his hand. And he had no idea why the thought of Nick being interested in Serena bothered him. Or why the thought of Serena being interested in Nick bothered him more. He just knew that watching them dance slow together had caused his stomach to burn as though he'd gulped down fiery cinnamon flavored liquor. Unable to stop himself, he glanced to the table.

And saw that Nick was in deep conversation with Dax.

"No, he hasn't." Serena laughed, a nervous, self-conscious laugh that only irritated him further. It turned his attention back to her, and he saw the doubt in her eyes.

"Why's that so hard to believe?" he asked softly.

"Men don't flirt with me, Adam."

"The hell they don't." Isiah and Marq had. Of course, they flirted with everybody… But Nick sure as hell had.

"Are you one of those people that thinks normal everyday niceness is flirting?"

"Are you too blind to see that you're an extremely attractive woman that any red-blooded straight man would want to flirt with?" he fired back.

Judging by the way her eyes widened, she was. Her cheeks darkened and she shook her head a little. Her eyes dipped to the floor and when they lifted again, they were filled with hurt. And when she began to speak, her voice was small. "I'm not stupid, okay? Men are nice to me. They laugh with me. Not because they're flirting or they think I'm hot, but because I'm… I'm not. I'm safe. They don't have to impress me, because they're not trying to get into my pants or take me back to their place. I know I'm not hideous, but I don't disillusion myself into thinking I'm pretty or that men find me enticing. I know my place, Adam."

He stared at her. She was one of the most vibrant, upbeat, confident women he'd ever met. Stunned, he blinked slowly, mind racing to analyze the words she'd just said. He knew that she wasn't fishing for compliments. She wasn't saying what she'd said just to have him reassure her that she was beautiful. Could tell that if he uttered those reassurances, she wouldn't believe them. He was more than a little surprised by the sudden view of her insecurities and wondered why she trusted him enough to share them. In a flash, he remembered her scoff when he'd told her she could end this mockery of a relationship when the time came.

Like anyone would believe that.

And, suddenly, it was crystal clear. Someone, somewhere, at some point in time, had destroyed her heart.

"Serena," he whispered. "Who hurt you?"

"It doesn't matter," she said. "Because it's true."

"It's not true." When she shook her head again, he reached to cup her shoulder. "Hey… Your place is wherever the fuck you want to be."

"That's sweet of you to say." Her hand lifted, fingers swiping at the corner of her eyes, and Adam had the sudden urge to bring her close. To truly reassure her. To hold her, find out just how nice an armful she was.

To help her fight the demons he sometimes fought himself. To see if she could help him fight them, too.

Rocked by that urge, he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. He was a breath from tugging her close and putting his arms around her. He even shifted his stance, ready to let himself show that he liked her a little. And then, maybe, he could find a way to get her to call him a good boy again.

But in the blink of an eye the moment passed. She was smiling again, curling her hand around his wrist.

"Come on," she said.

"Where?"

"To the stage."

"Why?" he asked warily, dropping his hand.

"We're gonna do a duet."

"Oh no," he protested. "No."

"Come on," she encouraged, tugging on his arm. "Britt already picked the song for us."

"I told you, I don't sing." When she squinted her eyes at him, he sighed. At least she wasn't—

"Please?" The squint was gone. She wasn't pleading but damned if she didn't look adorable.

"If I say yes, will you promise to not bug me to do this ever again?" he requested, holding his ground. But when she gave a plaintive little sigh, he found himself already caving. "What song did she pick?"

"A classic."

"Zeppelin? Cash? Queen?" he guessed. He kind of liked her holding onto him. "Willie? Hank? If it's a fucking boyband—"

"Elton John."

"Dammit," he muttered, even as he smiled over her exuberance. Like a kid finally being allowed to ride one of the big coasters at a theme park, she dragged him along behind her towards the stage.

"You know it," she promised. And when she squeezed his hand it felt natural.

"I'm so glad that you can dive into my brain and know that I know something. Did you happen to catch what ate for lunch? Or maybe my bank account number?"

"You probably ate a salad with chicken."

He grunted. Because, dammit, she was right. But he supposed that anyone could have guessed that. It had been his go-to lunch for ages. "What kind of chicken?"

She rolled her eyes. "Grilled."

Adam snorted. "Lucky guess."

"Okay, you do me. What did I have for lunch?"

How the hell was he supposed to know? Tilting his head when she lifted her eyebrows, he took a stab in the dark. "Pasta."

"What kind?"

"Angel hair."

"Sauce?"

He wondered if his guesses were correct or if she was just teasing him. Licking his lips, he was about to take another guess when her hand let go of his. Taking the microphone Serena handed him, he motioned for her to step onto the stage first, squinting his eyes at the screen so he could see which song Britt had chosen for them. Hearing a rowdy cheer from the corner table he threw up his middle finger, recognizing it as Cole's. "How'd you know I know this song?"

"Everybody does," she explained with a shrug while picking up the second microphone.

She had a point. He did know the song. He felt his stomach tumble with nervousness, felt his breath hitch in his throat. Sure, he'd sung before. He liked to sing. In the shower. While driving. During bits on BTE. But this? In front of a bunch of strangers? He was going to make a fool of himself. He could only hope no one would film it and post it online for everyone to make fun of.

"Hey," she said an instant before the music started. Her hand touched his arm, gentle and comforting, and he didn't have time to wonder why, exactly, that her simple touch managed to ground him.

Taking in a breath, he gave in and turned so he looked at her. And, smiling, he began to sing.

***

"Don't go breakin' my heart…"

Serena nearly dropped her microphone when she heard his voice. He'd said he couldn't sing. Hadn't he? Surprised by the quality of his singing, she totally missed her first few lines, and felt her cheeks burn when he gave her a gentle nudge. Finally catching up, she made a face when he had the audacity to grin at her distress.

Was it wrong of her to hope someone was filming them? As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she caught sight of Britt at the table near the stage, her phone trained on them. She was glad because she wanted to listen to him sing again. And maybe again after that.

"When I was down," he sang, lifting his eyebrows.

"I was your clown." She was rewarded with another grin and decided she hated him for enjoying that she'd lost her step. It seemed natural to lean closer to him as they sang the next line together, and she met his eyes, smiling. "Ooh, nobody knows it…"

"But right from the start." She saw his hand moving but was too busy trying to decipher the color of his eyes in the bar's dim lights to notice what he was doing. They had looked blue the day they met. Now they looked green…

"I gave you my heart," she crooned, going still when his fingers brushed her cheek. He slowly tucked the lock of hair back behind her ear. His fingers lingered and she felt her breath catch in her throat. "Oh… I gave you my heart…"

"So don't go breaking my heart." His fingers swept along her jaw before his hand lowered.

"I won't go breaking your heart," she sang with sudden feeling, gripping her microphone tighter.

Are you too blind to see that you're an extremely attractive woman that any red-blooded straight man would want to flirt with?

Who hurt you?

It was over too soon. She liked singing with him. Liked that their voices almost harmonized. Liked that he made silly faces that caused her heart to do a fluttery jump in her chest. Liked that halfway through the song he took her hand and practically serenaded her.

She placed the microphone in its stand and turned to step off the stage. Surprised to see him standing there, she was about to jump down when his hands caught her waist. "What—"

Lifting. Spinning. The lights inside the bar whirled and so did her brain. Her hands landed on his biceps during the seconds of weightlessness and she felt them ripple as he lowered her so both her feet were on the floor. His hands stayed for a few seconds, though, and she unconsciously squeezed his arms.

"Thanks," she said softly.

"That was fun." He was smiling.

And his hands were still on her waist.

"Yeah," she agreed, swallowing when his hands gave a brief squeeze. She would have thought she'd be relieved once they moved away but, oddly, she felt almost sad.

Are you too blind to see you're an extremely attractive woman?

"C'mon," he said. His hand slid to grasp hers and she was struck by how natural it felt, how easily he seemed to do it. As though he'd done it without thinking.

Without thinking, she tilted her hand so their fingers twined and walked with him back to the table. She murmured her thanks when his friends complimented their duet, too focused on how his hand encompassed hers to pay much attention to what they were saying. She bit back a laugh when Adam kicked the chair Nick was sitting in, causing the man to yelp, and turned to muffle her snort as they glared at each other.

"Move your ass," Adam finally said.

"There's an empty chair right there," Nick told him, pointing to the chair Adam had been sitting in.

She cleared her throat. "I'll go—"

"He'll move," Adam promised.

"Will he?" she asked when Nick threw up his hands.

The chair scraped back with more force than necessary, and the grin Adam sent her was smug. "See?"

"I'm only moving for Serena," Nick said, catching the back of the chair and turning it slightly. He gestured to the empty seat and waited.

Serena looked from him to Adam, then back again, then once more to Adam. She didn't know what to make of the tension she could feel radiating from him. One thing she did know was that Nick hadn't been flirting with her earlier. Their conversation before he'd asked her to dance had been about wrestling, and if she'd looked awed it was because Nick Fucking Jackson had said he'd watched some of her stuff and thought she had talent. She didn't know what Adam had seen, but it hadn't been flirting.

Okay, she had enjoyed the dance. Slow dancing was fun, especially with a good-looking partner. Double especially when said partner had natural rhythm. And, really, the twirl had given her a little thrill. But then he'd apologized for taking up so much of her time when she was on a date with Adam.

Adam. Who could sing so beautifully and had made her heart do that funny little jump. Adam, who was still holding her hand.

She looked to the empty chair, then at Nick once more. Saw understanding in his eyes when he smiled. And felt Adam relax when he let go of the chair and headed for the other empty seat.

He released her hand and she sat when he held out the chair for her. She nodded when he asked if she wanted another drink, and when the server approached after Adam's wave, she moistened her lips and requested a whiskey.

"Same for me. Double," he said, draping his arm across the back of her chair.

And she had to endure his fingers brushing her shoulder as she sipped her drink. The conversation around the table was lively, boisterous even, but she didn't try to keep up, too aware of him. Of his laugh when Cole or Matt shared an inside joke. His arm across her back when he leaned to set his glass down. The scent of his cologne and soap and Pantene shampoo. His thigh bumping against hers occasionally, because she learned in those moments that he couldn't sit completely still.

She didn't mean to, or even think about it. But when his thigh bumped hers again, she reached over and placed her hand on it, gulping her whiskey down as it went deathly still. His hand cupped her shoulder and she sensed his head turning, could feel his blue or green eyes looking at her. She kept her gaze on her hand, though, and began to pull it away when she remembered she had no business touching his thigh.

No matter how much she suddenly wanted to.

The hand resting on the table in front of him dropped down, covering hers. Serena lifted her head and pressed her lips together when he guided her hand back to his thigh.

"It's fine," he whispered, squeezing her shoulder.

"You sure?"

He leaned in and for a split second she thought he intended to kiss her. But he tilted his head at the last second, bearded jaw grazing her cheek as he whispered in her ear. "Britt's watching like a hawk."

"Fuck Britt," she muttered.

"I'd rather not," he chuckled.

His lips skimmed her jaw as he pulled back, and she couldn't fight the shiver that resulted.

"You alright?"

"Just tired," she said, going with the safe answer. She was tired. It had to be close to two in the morning. Just as that thought crossed her mind there was jangling noise from behind the bar, causing her to jump slightly, and she felt Adam's arm tighten around her shoulders.

"Last call," he said. "You want another?"

"I can't," she said with a shake of her head. "I'm driving."

"I thought I was driving."

"You're gonna drive me to my hotel then Uber back to your place?" she asked.

"Oh." He chuckled, ducking his head briefly. "Sorry. Forgot."

"I forget things too," she promised.

"I've had fun tonight," he said suddenly. "Even if you did make me sing… It's been fun."

She smiled again. "It has, hasn't it? Nothing like drinks and friends, right?"

"Yeah." He lifted his glass and gave her a small salute with it. "Drinks and friends."

"You ready to go?" she asked once he'd finished his drink and set the glass on the table. "I mean, we can stay—"

"Nah. Let's go."

She felt his hand squeeze her shoulder again and impulsively squeezed his thigh in return. He pushed his chair back and she did the same, standing while he reached for his wallet. When she offered to pay he shook his head, tossing a few bills to the table. There was a flurry of goodnights from his friends. Serena studiously ignored Britt's pleased expression when Adam reached for her hand, calling out a quick goodnight as they left the table.

The late-night air was balmy, the street quieter and dimmer than when they'd arrived. Adam's hand was gentle but firm as they walked to where he'd parked the car, and she got the feeling he was protective when he situated himself so he walked between her and the street. Knew he was protective when he released her hand and tucked his arm around her shoulders, guiding her close to him, as they passed three men smoking outside a twenty-four-hour diner.

She liked that he opened the door for her and made sure she was inside before closing it and walking around. Liked that he didn't drive like an asshole. Liked that his hand found hers a few times while he drove to his apartment building.

"Do you need help?" she asked out of habit after he parked and turned off the engine. Accepting the keys when he handed them over, she hit the button to open the back.

"Nah, I got it. It's just two bags."

She got out as well, glancing around the complex. "Where's your apartment?"

"Second floor." He pointed to the unit they were parked in front of. "It's not much."

"Just a place to hang your hat when you're here?"

"Exactly." He rolled his shoulders before pulling his suitcase out of the trunk. It hit the ground and tipped over. "Shit…"

She got his backpack while he righted the suitcase. Handing it over, she wondered what she could say to take the sudden awkwardness she felt away. "Hey."

"Yeah?" He bent to fiddle with his suitcase.

"You know when you leaned over to whisper in my ear at the bar?" She released a small laugh. It was embarrassing, but now it was too late to not tell him.

"Yeah…"

"I thought you were gonna kiss me."

He straightened, yanking the suitcase handle so hard the case lifted off the pavement. "What?"

"You know, because everyone was there. Watching. To keep the lie going," she added lamely.

"We agreed on no PDA," he said.

"I know that. It doesn't matter anyway. You don't want to kiss me." She scowled. "And I don't want to kiss you either."

"Sure," he said with a snort. "Then why the hell were you groping me?"

"I wasn't groping— You're disgusting," she told him, reaching to slam the trunk closed. He lurched back to avoid being hit by the door and she felt a tiny glimmer of satisfaction. "Goodnight."

"Putting your hand on someone's thigh? And squeezing it?" He scoffed. "Hate to break it to you, baby, but that's groping."

"I put my hand on your thigh because it kept bouncing like one of those jumping beans," she pointed out. She felt heated, and she hoped it was anger and not something more dangerous. "And you're the one who put your arm around me."

"Hey, I kept it above the waist!"

"You're such an asshole!" she snapped.

"Good thing we ain't really dating then, isn't it?"

"I don't even know if I want to pretend to date you," she muttered, turning to get into the car. Gasping when his hand caught her arm, she turned before he could pull, anger fleeing as she caught the vulnerability in his eyes. It was gone as soon as he blinked, replaced with irritation. Fire. And though his grip was as loose as possible, she didn't even try to pull away. "I didn't mean—"

"This was all your idea, Serena."

"I know," she whispered. She had expected to end up liking him. And that she would think he was attractive. But she hadn't expected to feel tiny sparks of longing when he looked at her or touched her. Or that he would make her open up and share one of her insecurities. And she would never have believed that he would react to that insecurity with apparent understanding.

Who hurt you?

"I'm sorry," she said, exhaling slowly as his hand slid down to hers.

"Me, too," he murmured. "This is supposed to be easy, right?"

"Yeah," she laughed. Looking down at their hands, she watched their fingers twine. And when his thumb stroked the back of her hand, she squeezed. "I didn't mean to grope your thigh, and I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

"I wasn't uncomfortable. Just surprised."

"You're not an asshole." She lifted her head in time to see his lips tilt into a smile.

"You sure?" He took half a step forward.

"Positive. In fact…" She mirrored his smile. "You're a good boy."

"Yeah?" His whisper was husky. His tongue darted over his lips and he released a quick breath, his cheeks darkening slightly.

And again that stab of desire pierced her belly. "Yeah."

"If you want…" He cleared his throat, and she watched his lips purse before he spoke again. "If you want someone to flirt with you, ma'am, just say the words."

"I'll keep that in mind." She drew in a breath of his cologne and Pantene. "I should get going."

But she didn't step away. Neither did he.

"I did have fun tonight," she said, meeting his eyes. Were they blue? Or green? In the light of the parking lot she couldn't tell.

"I did too. And… Not because of those assholes with us. I, um." His thumb skittered over the back of her hand. "I liked spending time with you."

"Yeah?" she asked, unable to keep the smile from pulling at her lips. "Me too."

"And we can do this again, right?"

"Sure. But—"

"Without those assholes," he added.

She grinned. "Absolutely."

"Shake on it?" he asked. Then, looking down at their hands, he released that nervous little chuckle she'd heard from him so many times over the course of the night. "Or not."

"Adam?"

"Hmm?"

She pushed herself up onto her tiptoes. She was going for another kiss to his cheek, like she had that night they'd met. At the last second, though, she wrapped her arm around him in a hug. She heard him sigh. Felt his chest expand. Their hands parted and she tucked her other arm around him. Then both his arms were around her, holding her to him, and she was touched by the tenderness of his embrace. Relaxing, she closed her eyes briefly, sighing softly when his hand raised and smoothed her hair. She let her head rest against chest, soothed by his breathing and the gentle echo of his heartbeat.

It was, she decided, much nicer than a kiss on the cheek would have been.

How long had it been since she'd just been held? It was so different from the hugs she gave and received so freely. There was something so comforting about being enveloped in a pair of strong arms. When he gave a squeeze and she felt his head lean against hers briefly, she had an hunch that he would be fantastic at cuddling.

They parted simultaneously, and she appreciated the way his hands held onto her waist for a few seconds before falling away. She didn't want to say anything that would burst the little bubble of wonderful. Wished she were witty enough to come up with a phrase that would be vivacious and a little dramatic, then get into her car and drive off. But she could only stare at him.

He slowly licked his lips and exhaled sharply. "We still don't like each other, right?"

"No?" She hated that it came out as a squeak. She tried again for a normal tone of voice. "No. We don't."

"Thought not."

"Do we?" she asked.

"No, no, definitely not," he answered quickly. "Not like we kissed or anything."

"Right. Yes." She bit her lip.

He smirked. "You want one?"

Yes, she did. But she shook her head. "Maybe next time."

"Sure. I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah. I'll call you?"

"Works for me." He stepped back, letting the balmy air between them again, and reached for his suitcase. She heard the rattling of his title belt in his backpack when he adjusted it on his shoulder.

"See you soon," she said softly, smiling when he reached to open the car door for her.

"Drive safe." He waited until she was inside and had brought the seat up before gently closing the door. Ducking to look at her through the window, he gave her a smile that made her heart do a silly tumble. "Good night, Serena."

"Good night, Adam."

#adam page fanfiction #adam page imagine #aew imagine #aew fanfiction #my fics #multipart:BITN #if fucking tumblr ever lets me POST that'd be great

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girlobsessed21 · 4 years

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My thoughts on The 100 7x05

Hey, guys,

Sorry for not doing any comments on the last two episodes. I’ve been a little busy and I struggled to connect to the show, so it hindered my enjoyment, but it’s all better now. Liked episode 4 and 5 was even better, jampacked with info and it answered a lot of questions.

Welcome to Bardo

Badass Octavia is da bomb (people don’t say that anymore, right?). When she was captured in episode two, I thought she had lost her fighting spirit, but it’s back, bitches. Well, until she runs into an invisible wall trying to escape. She’s captured and transported to M-cap (whatever that means). Then we get a welcome little flashback to Lincoln but it’s obvious that Bellamy would be the hand reaching out. He’s her rock, like she’s expressed many times.

Unlike John Murphy who is not quite a friend, or family and definitely not a lover. Introducing so many new characters in the final season of a show is never a good idea, because this is the time to wrap up all the stories of the existing ones, but come on, who cannot love Levitt. Even when he first meets Octavia, he doesn’t want to hurt her. Jason, you better not harm one hair on this precious little puppy’s head!

As he binges The 100 through Octavia’s eyes, he starts rooting for her, and he actually gives a damn, unlike most people on this show. He understands her strengths and weaknesses and he makes her see it too. “You’re a warrior to be sure, but your heart is pure.” Wow, what an honest and beautiful line. (Scroll down for my shipping comments.)

So is O and Hope’s fleeting little reunion. It’s amazing to experience this deep loving side of Octavia after her darkness. She’s truly one of the most diverse and developed characters on the series. Now Hope and her resilience is quickly making it to the top as well.

While Hope is trying to send her back home, we learn that memory loss is due to the time dilation. One quick note on this, it’s not linear, there’s no easy equation to calculate it unless you’re Stephen Hawking or Einstein. I don’t think it’s constant either. 10 years on Skyring = 11 days on Bardo = a few minutes on Sanctum. In the current time, 5 years on Skyring = 1 day on Sanctum = 7 days on Bardo. So, it’s clear that the planets are moving, and other factors are playing into the phenomenon. It’s more important to understand the time relative to each planet.

Levitt was the one who tattooed Hope’s code onto O’s back, also the one who planted the note into Hope’s arm. Indeed the kind of man you want on the inside, he even accepts a blow to the face as thank you.

Sheep-ish?

Thirty minutes on the clock and the trio gets led to a congregation to praise the shepherd. I never thought it was Anders, I do, however think it might be Cadogan. The Bordoan’s built the underground forest because they destroyed their planet. Ugh, what’s new? The shepherd herded his sheep from earth to Bardo via the stone. Cadogan and his second dawn cult?

Back to Clarke. So, after last episode I thought ‘the key to winning the last war’ line was an artifice for luring Clarke to disciples, but now it’s clearly true. They’ve located the key and they will win the last war. Levitt was interested in Clarke surviving the City of Light with the flame in her head, they probably assume she still has it. Cadogan burned Becca alive. Could it be because of the flame? Is this all because of that damn little chip that can’t seem to die?

Bellamy is not dead, I repeat, Bellamy is not dead! I believe that memory could be staged or implanted for a reason. Also, there’s no body, he jumped through the bridge. In the promo photos, he wears a ring but his actions towards Octavia seem a little cold and generic. On first watch, I thought it was bad acting but if he was programmed to do this, it makes sense.

Note the sequence of events. Octavia returned 7 days ago and was asked to talk her brother down, but we don’t see the actual scene. Instead we’re shown a memory. They could have implanted it to make her vulnerable and perhaps more susceptible to the procedure. I don’t know, but this theory could lead to Robot-sheep!Bellamy on Nakara, where he’ll encounter Clarke and the gang.

I have to be honest, I really don’t like this character arc for Bellamy. It’s unoriginal and a mime of Peeta’s storyline in Mockingjay. Sorry, but so far it feels like the writers were so over the show, they just wanted to get it done. And that attitude really bleeds into one’s creative concepts. I could be completely wrong, in fact, I hope I am.

Echo spins a Finn

My word, I lost the love of my life once, but I sure didn’t kill anyone. When Echo received that vision of Roan, I was hoping for some progression on her individual arc, they’ve made me care about her, and now we get the opposite. Why? One thing I have to admit, a killer performance from Tasya Teles! No pun intended.

Look, this show hasn’t explored Bellamy and Echo’s relationship enough to make her murder believable. It was the exact same thing with Finn. I wasn’t invested in Finn and Clarke’s connection, so his actions of killing a grounder tribe was more repulsive than understandable. Sure, Echo loves Bellamy and her sole purpose is to save him, but I’ve never truly witnessed their love for each other. They had one or two intimate scenes which cannot compel a deed like this. And in the process, she screwed Hope and Diyoza.

Anyway, I don’t think there’s any coming back from it. She murdered an innocent person in cold blood. That’s sure to open a door to the dark side. Just look at Octavia after killing Pike and her actions were justified by jus drein jus daun.

Say Sanctum three times slowly and it sounds like… Sanctum

Blind faith

Look, I’m just gonna come out and say this song is getting old. Every episode featuring Sanctum is the exact same thing with different lines. Can we please move on from it, already? Yes, we know the COG want Russel dead, and the adjusters will go to extreme lengths to free Russel and the prisoners are background noise.

I did appreciate Nelson stepping in to try and save the girl, though. Still doesn’t save the fact that it’s repetitive. The Sanctum plotline is really struggling to take shape and I hope it happens soon. Dramatic eyeroll.

At least in the drought of a desert, you can always count on Murphy. “…I say we live and let die.” Typical cockroach line, right, but it’s ironic when he’s the one to step up, even if it is for Emori. Under the magnifying glass it’s the exact same plot as episode 1 and 3. He hesitates to take action, and eventually becomes the hero.

I mean, he saved that poor kid from being burned alive. Can you imagine sacrificing your own child in such a horrific away? Cults are beyond whacked, and, unfortunately, it’s reality that cult members are so blinded by their faith that they do not see rhyme or reason.

How did Murphy fail that test? I didn’t. When Trey named the four pillars, I thought, isn’t rejoice one of them? Surely, a cockroach would have smelled that trap a mile away.

Indra the great

Can we just give a massive round of applause to Adina Porter!!! That powerhouse walk vibrates strength and majesty, damn, she should be a false god, I wouldn’t dare threaten her with or without an army.

Three little words was all it took for her to recognize evil. “There’s a spider on your shoulder.” Smooth. Too bad she can’t kill him. Why not, how many of the faithful are left to cause an uproar? Wonkru doesn’t know it’s Sheidheda, they won’t care, the COG will fall in line and the prisoners will be happy as long as they get their compound. Sorry, I don’t get it and I don’t understand why she doesn’t tell anyone. Someone please explain?

Granted, JR Bourne as Russel is way better, but I still don’t understand his actions. I hope they explore and explain him more, because he still feels flat unless he knows something of this final war. I’m hoping these two storylines align soon since it’s really driving a wedge between me and my love for the show.

Shipwreck

I’ll start with the easy stuff, Murphy, Emori and the perfect dress gets a heart eye emoji from me. They are so damn cute this season, can they please live happily ever after in the palace?

Octabriel vs Levittavia

Now, I enjoy Levitt fangirling over Octavia. I feel like he has a deep sense of her through her memories. If I have to root for an underdeveloped relationship, it will have to be one where the characters share thoughts and experiences even if it is through a sick, sci-fi procedure.

On the other hand, Gabriel and Octavia have immense chemistry, two seconds of them together bends my mouth into an “Aah, cute” pout. This will also add some approval and representation for mixed racial relationships.

I really don’t mind either way as long as they make me care through showing and not telling.

Bellarke

So, if my theory is correct, and Bellamy does end up on Nakara, Bellarke will encounter each other quite soon. Bellamy won’t be himself though, but he might pretend to be Bellamy to win Clarke’s co-operation. Is there hope for Bellarke yet?

Echo is now trotting a dangerous path and Bellamy might be pledged to a cause, so I doubt there will be a happy ending for Becho. Since 7x01 I’ve been thinking that the writers might want to develop something between Clarke and Gaia but if they are separated, is there enough time? Guess we’ll see.

This monster of a review is finally done… If you read through everything, you deserve a gold star! Let me know what you think, till we meet again…

#The 100 #the100 7x05 #the100 season 7 #octavia blake #levitt the 100 #hope diyoza #bellamy blake #echo #john murphy #indra kom trikru #gabriel #bellarke #sheidheda

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aspiestvmusings · 4 years

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ZEP ANALYSIS

POSSIBLE SPOILERS for “ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST” (NBC)

This is my take on the shows storylines (episode 1-8), spoilers (for rest of s1), comments from the creators and cast...

This was originally inspired by many online comments from TeamMax vs Team Simon. I just wanted to analyze the show based on that.

My take on the storyline: “The Love Triangle”

Good news for one team, perhaps not so good for the other team.

Based on everything we’ve seen on the show (the storytelling, the promotional materials, the spoilers)... everything points to Max/Zoey being the endgame. I’ve seen many fans (both those who support Team M & those who support Team S), say that they get the same message from the storytelling. It does seem to be the clear message from the show...no matter how they get there..or when...

The “proof”:

First: The actor who portrayes Max is billed higher (probably mostly cause he’s done more well-known musical projects before than the other actor), and he’s featured in much more promotional materials (promo pics, posters, promo videos...) and in more central role, than the other actor. The promotion is vastly focused on M/Z. They use those characters & actors... a lot...for promotion. That suggests only one thing.

Second: They told us the premise of Zoey’s future relationships in the Pilot already via this Max/Zoey conversation:

Zoey: I have a long history of --- what do you call my past relationships again? --

Max: -- “Unnecessarily complicated, exhausting for everybody, the opposite of good”?

Zoey: Yeah. Those things. Which is why this time I'm just gonna take things slow, and wait for the right “in”

And with Zoey/Simon thing has been just a repeat of her past experiences which she claims she doesn’t want to re-live again, and this show is all about her growth as a character/person, this cannot be the endgame. Even if they’d reveal that S/J have broken up... all that’s already happened has followed this exact description (see Max’s quote)

Third: While Zoey sang her heart song to Max and they had a moment for themselves (though..let’s be honest...they get interrupted so much that others in the office must’ve overheard a lot by now...), the heartsong to Simon seemed to be more like a setup for having Max see it. And while both songs are about her deepest, secret feelings/desires... and there’s truth in both, then the way the scenes were set up makes it seem like she sang to her best friend to make him aware of how she really feels (what he said in the previous ep: he needs to know/get a respose from her...and this gave him that). But the other song was meant to be overheard by her best friend...and that was the goal of the song/scene (not the song itself, but that he saw). Again pointing to the show going for Max as the endgame.

Fourth: The triangle is as follows: Both Max & Simon like Zoey, but she only really likes one of them. Both men sang heart songs to her (Max = I think I love you, Sucker, If I can’t have you, 500 miles), and she sang to both...but different songs. Simon sang “If you say that you are mine, I'll be here 'til the end of time” in 1x05, so it’s coming from his side. Zoey in 1x08 sang "I'm Yours” to Max (that her heart is his), but she sang “I want you to want me” to Simon (not that she wants him, but she wants him to want her). As her best friend explained it - one is about love, the other physical attraction. But... if you listen to the lyrics more closely then based on them she’s singing about how she saw S. crying & all alone (1x01) and how that affected her, compared to singing to M. how she’s “caught feelings”. So she’s only actually interested in Max, as her feelings for Simon are not mutual (beyond the grief bond). One is one-sided and more “superficial”, the other is mutual and more “serious”.

Fifth: While we’ve seen that Zoey thinks she’s caught feelings for Simon (what she told her mom at the engagement party), and she hasn’t really admitted this to anyone besides her mom, she seems to not see it as a good thing. She also claims to both Max & Simon that she doesn’t really have feelings for Simon/wasn’t aware of her feelings and/or that she’s basically over it... so kinda “little white lies”. She seems to think they have a sort of connection and/or she seems to find him attractive...despite realizing that it cannot happen because he’s engaged. (and before Simon went and took the wrong step, he said the right thing - they leaned too much on each other about their grief, and they should just go back to co-workers, and that’s all. Sadly...that was changed because of the “glitch” that mislead...people). But... we also saw that she is fighting against having feelings for the morally questionable engaged man, cause she probably realizes it’s a bad idea.

Sixth: All this time, but especially in the last episode, the show has tried to show the two men in her life differently, and show the differences in their “relationships” with Zoey. It’s a very classic “fairytale story” that follows often-used “clichees”. They’ve shown how the two are different, and how the connection between both “ships” is different. And everything points to them starting to make the difference even more clear. By now they all are aware of each others feelings...to some point... and both men are aware that they’re both competing for her interest.

And she’s aware that she is interested in both... but in different ways, and for different reasons. And again they used Max to vocalize the choice before her - will she choose physical attraction without deeper connection or love and deeper emotional connection...AKA “new attractive co-worker who went through what shes going through VS her best friend, who is always there for her...no matter what. The options were made clear, now it’s her decision. And it’ll depend a lot on how each man will act from now on...at the most difficult time in her life (she’s now really going to lose her dad).

If Simon will try to make advances based on the heart song she sang, which gave outmixed signals AND at the same time Max will continue being a good friend (as we saw in 1x08...despite their dispute) then that’ll make Z/S grow furher apart and Z/M grow closer. And since it’s all become too complicated and messy for everyone... then it’s very possible all this will get to Jessica, and break those two apart. But... that’s IMO gonna be the opposite from making the path clear for S/Z. To have Simon as a character grow they need to have him deal with his grief, and all that. The Simon vs Max thing is a lot like Leif/Tobin thing... where the peer reviews made one become sketchy and start playing games, and the other start working on bettering themselves. I expect similar differences of paths taken for S & M. Especially because we’ve not only seen Tobin 2.0, but also Max 2.0 (and we’ll see more of that..in coming eps)

Seventh: We ve heard spoilers than in the S1 finale there will be a “heart song” for/from/with one of the two and Zoey. From how the scene is decribed it sound more like something fitting to Max (Max/Zoey). Which fits with how the season and story has been built so far. That seems to also confirm where they’re taking it. Cause...they’ve established that just like on most shows the main character HAS TO have a love interest, and so far they’ve only introduced two options.

Other reasons why Zoey will most likely choose “love” over “physical attraction”:

We saw Zoey’s reaction when she found out that S. had a SO/was engaged - she ran. And though she might find him attractive (physically)...as she found out via her heart song in 1x08, and she might feel a connection to him (because of the heart song she heard him sing in 1x01), she hasn’t shown interest in actually being with him... because she knows he’s taken. And also because she’s not really in the right place to start a relationship. She/They may not realize it, but they don’t have much more in common than grief - that’s the center of their bond (for now). Despite her interest/attraction to him & her thinking she “likes” him...

This is also why it’s easier for her to admit she has/had feelings for Simon, but she’s having trouble admitting...to herself (and Mo) & to Max that she may have feelings for her best friend. There’s nothing to lose with the first, but a lot to lose with the second. She’s afraid (and she varbalized it at the end of 1x07) that something could not go well... etc

While Max was not at all ready to meet his dates (Autumn) parents, because it’s a huge step and he just wan’t ready for it, he has met his best friends parents, and is welcome at their home. And there’s no feelings of meeting the parents being such “next level step”. We saw this when he brough her dad pudding to eat & when he helped carry the bed downstairs. It was also mentioned that he’s been part of the extended family for a while - welcome to family events (Christmas, barbeques..). Zoey’s father - the most important person in her life until now - is definitely on the man’s side, who brings him pudding (cause he’s paid attention that he can only eat soft food) and visits him & helps out. And her dad’s opinion is very important to Zoey, so...

She is completely at easy with Max seeing her with a facemask on, eating take-out, alone, at home, but she hides it (the true self) from Simon. She wears “a mask” with Simon, but doesn’t with Max. Same with how she didn’t tell Simon about her dad in 1x08 (brushing it off: hospital = lollipop), while telling Max that her dad had an apointment that morning. And though it did take her time to find the courage to tell him about it all in detail, she did..in the end. But from the start she shared the main info even if she didn’t tell what exactly happened and how she feels about it. She didn’t completely brush it off with him...even if the news made her unable to process and share it...right away.

We saw how she resisted her personal heart songs to Leif/Joan & to Simon, while being completely at ease with singing them to her best friend (Max) and her dad (Mitch). Cause if we leave out the big dance numbers (Crazy, Pressure), then she tried stopping herself from singing the others...the personal songs... and/or apologized for what’s to come...with Simon, too. But with Max (and her dad) the song just came to her...without the need to apologize or resist it. And afterwards she just tried to claim it didn’t mean as much, because she’s just in denial (and not really ready to start a relationship...because right now she is going through stages of grief). There’s a huge difference in both the heart songs she sang & HOW she sang them.

And we’ve seen that she really appreciates him as a friend, and as she told him - she can’t lose him as a friend...she needs him in her life. She cares about his feelings. She is afraid she gave him the wrong impression, she runs after him to explain things to him, because she knows that he got hurt. She actually cares about him...and is feelings (as a friend). And they’ve not shown the same reaction with Simon. And though the friends to one-sided to more-than-friends trope is “an overused clichee”, it isn’t necessarily bad. It can work well. Examples: Mondler on Friends, Peraltiago on B99...

Max may have the advantage of having known her longer, and knowing her better (because they’ve been friends for 5 years), and hence she’s more comfortable around him. And...that’s the reason why she let him in on her superpower secret, and why she tells him about...things. But... that’s precisely why she should and will choose Max over Simon. (He’s been there for her...always...and he continues to be there for her...through this hard time in her life.)

We saw how even though he was upset with her (for keeping secrets from him, from setting him up with someone else when she knew about his feelings for her...just because she didn’t dare to be honest with him & communicate...and hearing her sing to another person, too...) he was still there for her. A shoulder to lean on...literally and figuratively. He came to her rescue when she put her job at risk (singing Pressure), he gave her her mom’s message and supportive advice regarding her dad... And though there’s a hint of competitiveness that he seems to feel after the 1x07 elevator end scene (where we saw that both men seem to think they’ll be the end choice), and him wanting some kind of response from her, the 1x07 end scene and other moments have shown us that he’s willing to wait til she’s ready.

Especially...since in 1x07 he felt like it’s unfair that she can see into his heart and knows how he feels about her, he doesn’t. But in 1x08 he got to see into her heart (because even though she’d promised to always be honest with him from now on... she wasn’t fully... for a bit... and the “glitch” made her break her promise...til the evening), and it’s more “fair”. He now isn’t as in the dark, and less uncertain. I think the glitch was good for him, because he now knows how she really feels. All he wanted was an honest answer. And though it’s undertandable that he’s a bit hurt by what he’s heard & seen lately... but in the end it was beneficial. As Mo put it... he deserves an answer...no matter what it is...

I get the feeling that by now Zoey’s actually aware that she has feelings for her best friend. She might’ve not been aware of it all until he sang the first heart song to her, but after that we’ve clearly seen that she has either started to realize she actually has feelings for him or that she’s started to have feelings for him. She showed signs of jealousy when he was with Autumn (seeing them talking at the coffee shop, dancing at the club...). She couldn’t stop staring at him when she walked in during the Mo’ Makeover...indicating clearly that she finds him also physically attractive. Not to mention the emotional connection, and friendship. All the looks she gives him, her song & dance during “I’m Yours”... all for him...

And she cares about his feelings & not hurting him (running after him when he sees her heart song to Simon...) The look she has, when he brings her dad pudding & when she sees him with her dad or when she hears him sing “500 miles”, or the looks and giggles when she sings her heart song to him.... While she’s in no place in a relationship at this time, I think she’s realized that despite her grief and emotional state she’s developing feelings for her best friend. And that... just like what’s going on with her dad, seems to scare her.

MY PERSONAL TAKE/THOUGHTS:

As human as her feelings for Simon are (you can’t control who you find attractive...), and as much as this can happen IRL then Zoey/Simon is a no-no... simply because of his relationship status. Cheating storylines are not cool. Hence I cannot stand behind that “ship” or the possibility of accepting them as a viable possibility. IF he didnt have a fiancee, he’d be a candidate, but that’s not the case...he has a SO. Hence Team Simon cannot even be an option. No matter how much they try to promote it all as a love triangle & no matter how much they make Simon make bad decisions and wrong moves (going to her place & talking to her about his feelings, kissing her) seem “nothing serious”.... it’s wrong. It’s just as her best friend decribed it in 1x08. If things were different, yeah, but we’re not talking hypotheticals.

So IMO there’s one clearly wrong choice netween these two. I mean... I would not care if they would have her stay single, or develop new interest (Tobin)...as long as it’s not “morally questionable”. Z/S would be like Joan/Leif... sketchy, and wrong. And hopefully having seen those two helps Zoey understand that.... see the parallels (she has a hint that one is playing the other)

As for “Max is being too pushy”... here’s how that goes: he’s been in love with his best friend...for some time...and not said a thing. She accidentally finds out after she gets her superpower. And all the while his feelings seem to grow deeper. And now that she’s aware of his feelings, it seems she’s become more aware of her own (similar) feelings and/or she’s developed them. And sure...after his peer reviews (that “he doesn’t show initiative”) & seeing that his best friend is interested in someone else...who would be just another “not good option” similar to her past bad relationship decisions, ...and after getting mixed signals from her, he made more direct steps.

He sang her his heart songs, but he didnt push her (no, “Hand picked” is not like a date, just “are you free to go and eat”). She only felt pushed because she could “read his mind”. Also... he didn’t sing to her while being in a relationship with someone else...he kept his distance. And at the same time she seems to have become more and more aware about her feelings for him, and she was giving him “wrong signals”. His response - the flash mob was a response to that. And he was just upset that she ran...without any real response (not interested, can’t right now...cause I’m too occupied with dad thing). All he wanted was some sort of respose, and he told her so. She avoided telling him how she really feels (as Mo put it... he’ll understand if you say you don’t know, but you owe your friend an answer)...delaying it...as long as she could.

Also... any rational person would be confused about hearing that someone has superpowers. Again...she avoided giving him an explanation, instead telling him “fairytales of superpowers”. And in the end he was okay with her answer - that she can’t give him an answer at the moment. Even though he was upset, we saw he was still gonna be her friend (even if keeping some distrance, and not doing the movie nights), and that he was sure that one day she’ll be ready (the 1x07 elevator end scene, where both men think she’ll choose them...in the end..when she’s ready)

And in the latest episode we saw that no matter how hurt his feelings were, he did not stop being her friend. As he said “he’ll be there...always...and be the shoulder to lean on”. And you could tell that a huge weight was lifted off his shoulder when he knew her real feelings. When she did what she promised in last episode...be 100% honest with him. Sure... it only happened because of the glitch, when she sang him the heart song, but nonetheless it made things more equal. As he said - it’s unfair that she knows how he feels & can see into his heart but he cannot see into hers. The glitch changed that. Gave him the opportunity to get the answers she “owed him”

So... it’s undertandable that he felt hurt and confused when he saw her sing a heart song to someone else... right after finally giving him some answers. But...during he same conversation he processed it all, and also explained it to her - one song about love, the other about attraction. And he didn’t say “choose me”, he just explained the meanings to her (cause it was obvious she didn’t understand it herself), and told what his choice would be, while saying that he knows she’ll make her decision on her own....cause that ’s what she’s like.

As a friend he doesn’t want her to make the same mistakes she has in the past..hence him being “upset” with her. Cause to him it looks like she wasn’t completely honest (something she promised to be) with him - singing her heart feelings to him, and then to someone else. Claiming that she can’t lose him as a friend and that’s why she’s not ready to try being more than friends, when to an outsider it looks like the real reason is, as he put it - cause she’s confused about her feelings... for two people. All she’d have to tell him...from start... would just be honest and simply just say (more clearly) that she has to focus on her family & dad at this time, and ask for time. She kinda did at the end of 1x07, but because she’s not good with emotions and feelings...and she delayed her answer, she didn’t really let him in...and be the friend she needs at the time, it wasnt as clear as it could’ve been.

So far all his “pushy” behaviour can be seen as being a good friend - he’s trying to help her not start another overly complicated relationship...which she told him (in Pilot) is not what she wants anymore. He points out to her why Simon is not a good option - he’s taken. Yes, part of his “pushiness” seems to come from trying to be less what his peer reviews decribed him like & competitiveness (knowing Simon is kinda his competition). But from his POV... (before she told him about her superpowers& sang him her heart song)... she’d been shown more interest in him (checking him out, giving mixed signals) & at the same time he’s in a bit of hurry because if he doesn’t act soon she may make a move on the new guy/the new guy may make a move on her. So it makes sense that with all of that happening at the same time he seems...to some... to "push” her towards being more than friends... Cause unconciously he may realize that if he doesn’t make a move ...now... he may be too late.

And though it all... he’s still there for her. He might be “mad at her... just a bit”, but he still goes to check on her, still gives her advice, and space... after he knows what’s really going on. (he “pushes” her to confont her feelings about her dad, and deal with it instead of running). He’s not looking for something in return. We saw that over and over in several episodes. He verbalized it in 1x06, and his face/look told it in the end of 1x07 elevator scene.

Also... “Mr Nice Guy” is better than “Mr. Cheater”...any day... in my book. And it surprises me that there are those who think that “nice guy who goes after his best friend” is worse option & worse clichee than the “hot new guy, who is willing to cheat”. For me one is clearly wrong behaviour the other just depends on your preferences.

To quote Mo : Max is funny, and funny always wins. Hence... being Team Max.

So... while up until things got overly complicated, both men could’ve been options, by now the show (writing etc) has made it pretty clear that they’re going for Z/M endgame.

Though the showrunner/writers at times love to focus on the “love triangle” (I still don’t see it in the writing...I only hear it being described so by the showrunner etc), and how they want to continue with that...for a while... which makes it seem a bit like they’re seriously pro “cheating plots” and “human feelings are messy...hence we let the main character continue making bad choices” because “we love the love- triangle drama”, there’s still more evidence in them not really taking it further than the kiss. But yeah... at times the showrunners comments make it sound like he thinks more like the HIMYM creator did and less like Dawson’s Creek creator did. Too fixed in loving the “triangle drama” & not going for character growth... But... I truly hope that all that has just been misleading...and the storytelling is what tells us how it goes.

They already let Simon make a bad move - the kiss. That should be the line over the line that they won’t cross again. He may continue pursuing her by singing songs to her, because he read her heartsong in the wrong way (because he doesn’t know why she did it, and what’s behind it), but if they follow the character growth path, and their current direction... they won’t let him/her go into the “cheating plot” territory again.

My “advice” to Zoey & Simon:

IF I could talk to these fictional characters, then the advice I would have given them...weeks/months ago would have been: just talk to your family & friends...the important people in your life. That’s Jessica for Simon, and Max (Mo, her mom...) for Zoey. Luckily we finally saw Zoey do that in the latest episode. So far we haven’t seen her really share the specific details on her dads health & her feelings regarding it all, with him. She hasn’t really confonted her feelings about it...til now or really confided in anyone in her family...etc... until now/finally. But Simon doesn’t seem to be doing so (he kept it all inside for a long time...until he had a chance to talk to a stranger, Zoey), and even though he made a point to not talk to her about it all, there has been no indication that after the “smoked roses” incident he’s confided in the person he should, Jessica.

Because... it doesn’t take a shared experience to get the support you need. The other person doesn’t have to have lived through the same/doesn’t have to know what it feels like in person to be the right person to lean on. And that was beautifully showcased at the end of ep 1x08, when Max, after he had been told about her dad’s condition, and her feelings regarding it, was the emotional support she needed. It just takes one person - somone who knows you best/well... to help you nagivate your “grief”.

To elaborate: That moment, when she finally was completely honest with Max, and let him in on her dad’s situation, was very important. It was the step to right direction. It also showed Zoey & us that it doesnt take a person who has experienced the same to understand her, support her. It just takes one person, who knows you & is there for you no matter what. And we shan’t forget that since Max was also close with Mitch, he will be personally affected by her dad’s death. So a shared experience... shared grief. Max being “in” on the details means that they’ll lean on each other more on this (so less need fo Zoey to connect about grief with Simon...who doesn’t have a connection with her dad & who doesn’t really know her). It was a crucial moment: Zoey finally not running from it all & properly starting grieving (going through the stages). And she finally let someone really in (something Simon can’t/won’t do with his fiancee... both cause she doesn’t understand him & his not willing to let her in), so this will make their friendship stronger going forward. Meaning: she doesn’t need Simon fro grief bond - she can get that support from Max, too.

And they really need to explore Simon’s character...and let him grow. Based on spoilers we know that were gonna get (finally) some more development and closer look into Max. But they need to look into S. (Is it just the grief? Is is something...more...)

wow ..this turned out way longer than I expected and planned.

Also... no ship wars comments, please. Even though I stated why I prefer one of the options the show has introduced that does not mean this is an invite to start discussion which is better. This is not the purpose of this post. You’re allowed to have your preference. For me there simply is a (single) reason why I cannot support one, while am OK with the other.

THE END

#ZEP #long post #text post #speculation #theory #analysis #Max vs Simon #THIS IS JUST MY TAKE ON HOW I'VE INTERPRETED THE STORYTELLING...SO FAR #ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST #ZOEYS EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST #ZOEY'S EP #Zoey Clarke #Max Richman #Max x Zoey #Zoey x Max #Jane Levy #Skylar Astin #TEAM MAX

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moldy-mold · 5 years

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Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted. At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan. My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.”  Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!  https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.

#diary

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bunnymcbunnister · 5 years

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SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 10/6

I’m traveling tomorrow, so I’ll post tonight. We have a few more tidbits from ep 7- Christian Kane being in the episode has given us more of a glimpse into shooting. Adam Rose also vague tweeted about shooting on a show with two badass leads. I doubt that really means Supernatural, but if we had Aaron Bass and this “old friend” in one episode my biDean head would explode. Also pics from two, an episode description for three, and Speight back in the director’s chair for 8. I can’t believe that the premier is this week. As a disclaimer, keep in mind that I just report what I see on internet land. Last year, there were some spoilers that were just plain wrong, so expect that again with hopefully some fun surprises! Happy premier week!!

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen,Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who.

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death.

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch.

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season.

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Christan Kane (Leverage/Angel) will star as “Leo” an “old friend” of Deans. He is an old friend of Jensen’s.

General season 15 promo- more of a retrospective: https://youtu.be/_hlkNQL5Ecg

Dabb intimated that Chuck was inherently responsible for killing Mary when asked how the boys would respond to Jack.

Dabb compared Chuck and John Winchester, claiming that Dean would have to break free of “conditioning.” Also, for Jack “there have been cosmic forces fighting for his attention since he was in the womb — and that will continue. As much as this season is about Sam and Dean finding agency, it’s also about Castiel finding agency, and it’s about Jack finding agency. As always, death is never the end. It’s just part of the journey and that’s certainly true with Jack.”

Adam Rose, who played Aaron Bass from the golem episode vauge-tweeted about working a show with two badass leads. Could be Supernatural, but I think the timing is off- he indicated he was filming late Friday night?

Episode 15x01

Title: Back and to the Future

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: Picking up where we left off last season, Sam, Dean and Castiel are left to defend the world after all the souls in hell have been released and are back on Earth and free to kill again.

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates: 7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-season-premiere-photos-back-and-to-the-future/196183/

Promo: (for at least ep one and two) ttps://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY. Also this retrospective: https://youtu.be/_hlkNQL5Ecg

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing- some time jump theories are developing for ep 4.

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage.

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind.

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack.

Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: SENDING OUT AN SOS – Sam (Jared Padalecki), Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Castiel (Misha Collins) call on Rowena (Guest Star Ruth Connell) to help keep the evil souls at bay and get an unexpected assist from Ketch (Guest Star David Haydn-Jones). Robert Singer directed the episode written by Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming (#1503). Original airdate 10/17/2019.

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Singer

Filming Dates: 8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-15-2-photos-raising-hell/196890/

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Osric Cho, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter.

Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park.

Alex was in sunglasses again - not sure if this is a costume thing or an Alex thing

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason (A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?)

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it’s a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

Kevin is back

Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: AS IT IS WRITTEN – Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) together with Rowena (guest star Ruth Connell) work tirelessly to keep all of hell from breaking loose. Castiel (Misha Collins) cannot forgive an arrogant betrayal. Charles Beeson directed the episode written by Robert Berens. (#1504). Original Airdate 10/24/2019.

Written by: Berens

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates: 8/22-9/2

Airdate: 10/24

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes

Guest stars: Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Part of this ep will take place in hell as well as the cemetery where Jack died at the end of last season

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates: 7/18-7/29

Airdate: 10/31 ?

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not Jack? Probably not

Guest stars: Rob Benedict

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Jensen mentioned a guest star “fan favorite” that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn’t exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn’t acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn’t always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates: 9/4-9/13

Airdate: 11/7

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No Jack? doubtful

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing.

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene.

Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates: 9/16-9/25

Airdate: 11/14

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas.

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

Ruth also posted a pic of herself covered in blood

At least Ruth and Jared filmed in Rowena’s apartment

Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Jeremy Adams

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates: 9/26- 10/7

Airdate: Dec 7th is what Christian Kane tweeted…. But that is a Saturday. Dec 5th maybe?

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars: maybe Christian Kane? Maybe?

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha posted from set in new shoes- very shiny with well tailored pants. (The next day he posted in full Cas costume,so just new shoes?? Another outfit with new shoes?)

Misha and Jensen made a video from set. I feel like if Jared was around he would have been in it since it was about money raised? This was on a Friday, and J2 usually don’t work Fridays. Maybe a Dean Cas scene?

There will be a battle scene in this that Jensen mentioned he was looking forward to and we would enjoy.

After NJ Con, it appeared that Jensen returned to work, Jared and Misha stayed an extra day and then Misha went home. Misha did not return to set that week.

Jensen and Christian filmed at a bar called Swazey’s. This was the fight scene Jensen was referring to.

At some point, Sam might be shirtless or we can see part of his chest- Jared had his anti-possession tattoo at the weekend convention

Episode 15x08

Title:

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Speight

Filming Dates:

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

#supernatural #spn season 15 #spn spoilers #spoiler sheet

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thestagthatlovedthewolf · 6 years

Text

For @shymerc!!! I did it!! So yeah this is post-finale and picks up from the info from this week’s episode “Damocles - Part 1″ and the promo for next week’s - so spoilers for both!! And this came out of desire for Callie to be alive :) Also the theory about this place is from @metastation when they were doing season 4 speculation and someone did research and found this place in Canada with no power plants close by...

Also not that much Diyoza and Callie flirting, because it’s just an introduction - and maybe this works as a way to introduce this ship to people, so they can put it in Modern AUs from now on!!

They had just seen the last survivable place on Earth explode and be destroyed, with the knowledge that some of their people had been left down there. At the ship, people were still arguing if they should go back or not, but soon the topic of discussion was going to change.

“Diyoza, Coronel,” Shaw called out as she sat to the side, closer to the bridge, as the others argued. “I found something,” he said. She looked to what he was looking at - it was green, definitely smaller that the valley, but it was still green.

“I guess the clouds were covering it from above,” he said.

“Fly closer,” she ordered, “But don’t land. I’ll go tell the others.”

Diyoza left him, crossing paths with the mechanic girl, Raven. The members of wonkru and spacekru were still arguing, but at the moment Clarke was not here. Diyoza had to clear her throat multiple times until they looked at her, expecting her to speak.

“Shaw found survivable ground,” she said, “At least it looks like it from up here.”

“We didn’t see anything from the Ark,” Bellamy answered.

“Neither did we,” Diyoza answered, “It’s smaller than the valley,” she said, “We’re coming closer to have a better look but I told Shaw not to land.”

Spacekru, or better what was left of it, and Octavia and Indra moved past her into the bridge. Diyoza followed, looking at the young girl, Madi, as she left to go the other way.

“There are people there,” Raven spoke, “Very few, but survivors.”

“We’re not destroying another habitable place,” Bellamy argued. “Is this Azgeda territory?” he asked Echo.

“No, just North of it,” she answered. “There were rumours of people living here, but they were just rumours, myths... I didn’t think it was true.” She had heard stories when she was a kid, they were mostly used to scare children.

“People in Canada used to be nice,” Shaw commented, looking up at Diyoza, “Someone needs to go down to talk, try to do this the most peacefull way.”

“Kane should go,” surprisingly, it was Octavia who spoke.

“Marcus is still healing. He’s not going anywhere,” Abby said, joining the group, followed by her daughter. “Madi said you found a place.”

“With people. Someone needs to go down there and negociate.” From there, it led to another discussion about who should go down, many options were thrown around, while others were immediatelly put aside. Everyone still seemed to agree Kane was the best option, but not even Clarke was able to convince Abby to let him leave when his wounds, especially the neck one, were still so severe. So they settled on Diyoza, Echo and Indra.

“No weapons,” Bellamy warned.

“They need to be armed.”

“I’m always armed. I can defend myself, Clarke,” Diyoza said, lifting her hands to show her how, and the two other women nodded and agreed to the feeling.

They disappeared to get ready after that, while Shaw landed the ship in a mostly empty place, and then Bellamy told Clarke to get the guns.

“They are not going there unprotected. We can protect them from here,” Bellamy told her, ready to call the familiar names that were no longer with them. Bellamy thought about asking Octavia, but turned to Abby instead.

“Do you think Kane is well enough to hold a gun and shoot if necessary?”

“Yes, he can do that,” she agreed, “I’ll go get him.”

Abby disappeared into the room where he was staying and Marcus was already standing when she came into the room.

“What’s happening?” he asked. “Madi said they found a place.”

“Yes. Diyoza, Echo and Indra are going down there to speak with them.”

“I should be there...”

“You shouldn’t,” she said, coming closer, moving her hand to his cheek, taking another look at his neck.

“I’m okay, Abby,” he told her taking both her hands in his.

“You could have died. You need to take it easy,” she said and he was ready to argue, “Bellamy needs you to hold a gun on look out in case something happens. Can you do that?”

“Yes.”

“If your torso starts hurting you tell me,” she ordered, before helping him stand, and let him take hold of her shoulder while they walked through the ship. Her daughter and Bellamy were already in place and they had found a chair for him to take, Abby on the arm of the chair, her eyes on Marcus, making sure he was still okay.

“People are already coming,” Bellamy said looking through the glass of the gun. “Only two people, they don’t look armed.”

“Don’t shoot if there’s no sign of violence,” Kane reminded them.

“We know.” They stayed in silence after that, looking at the meeting, trying to see what was going to happen next, and then Clarke spoke.

“Mom...” Abby came closer to her, after giving Marcus one last look. “Look,” Clarke said, giving her the gun to look, “Could that be--?”

It took less than one minute before she was gone, giving Clarke her gun back, and running down the ship.

“Abby!!” Marcus called, trying to stand, but feeling the pain in his torse.

“Kane, don’t worry, she’s okay.” Kane believed her and they turned their eyes to the meeting again.

Down there, Diyoza, Indra and Echo were trying to decide what to do next. They needed a place to stay while they figured if they were going back or not. Either way, McCreary had messed with the ship, and Raven and Shaw both believed that it probably wouldn’t last much longer flying. None had decided who to speak first, so when they came head to head with the two people, they all tried to introduce themselves at the same time.

“Charmaine, that’s a beautiful name,” the woman with dark hair spoke, with a smile turned to Diyoza, using her given name that in years she hadn’t heard. “We didn’t think people had survived...”

“The first or second praimfaya?” Echo asked.

“Praimfaya?”

“The fire and the radiation.”

“Ohhh... the second. I had heard people had survived the first. I didn’t. Of course, I didn’t, I’m not 100, but I’m not from Earth...” but before anyone could react, or the woman could notice the smirk on Diyoza’s face about not being 100 years old, a figure was running to them.

“Abby,” Indra warned, but before they knew what was happening, the other woman had her arms thrown around their doctor.

“Abby, darling, you’re alive,” she whispered, holding her tightly.

“Callie,” she whispered back, “I was sure your station had exploded on the way down.” Abby hadn’t seen her or held in so long, the last time was probably when she came to her room, the day after the kids contacted from the ground; just before that, she had been called to handle something in Tesla, and then after the explosion that station had been close off access, luckily Sinclair had been able to get a written message accross.

“We tried to find you. But we couldn’t go south. Luckily we got help,” she said, “the grounders never fought us. They helped us fix the station and shared their food as we shared technology - they hadn’t seen anything in so long.”

“They helped you,” Abby whispered, and looked behind her to Indra and Echo, seeing if anything about this people was familiar.

“Mecha made it then, who else?”

“Alpha. One survivor from Factory. We found Farm later, they landed far away.”

“Are Sinclair and Jaha with you? Pike was with Farm, right?”

“They are dead,” Abby whispered, “The three of them. We lost a lot of people...”

“How? Clarke? How’s Clarke?” she asked immediately, fear in her eyes, a hand reaching for Abby’s arm.

“She’s alive. She’s with me,” Abby smiled at that, and Callie pulled her for another hug, until she pulled away, noticing the figures leaving the ship.

“Wait, you’re telling me good men died while freaking Marcus Kane is still alive,” anger bubbling in Callie’s eyes as she said it.

“Yes. We have a lot to catch up,” she said, “I should go help him.”

Abby left then a confused Callie behind, looking between the three other women, trying to figure out what was just happening.

“So I guess you’re skaikru too,” Indra said, but Callie had no answer, never having heard the term skaikru before.

A few feet away, Abby reached Marcus, taking Clarke’s place to hold his arm as he walked, with Bellamy on the other side.

“Is that---”

“Callie, yeah, and she still hasn’t forgotten that you tried to float me,” she commented, and Marcus remembered Callie Cartwig’s anger, especially when it came to protecting Abby Griffin.

21 notes · View notes

britesparc · 6 years

Text

Weekend Top Ten #339

Top Ten Things to Remember About TF Nation 2018

It’s been a fortnight, by the time you’re both reading this, since I was at TF Nation. In that time a lot has happened. Well, not a lot a lot. I’ve zipped about the country a little bit. It’s nearly time for school to start. I’ve made about six different promos. So some stuff has happened.

Anyway, I'm finally ready to talk about it. I’ll be posting pictures this weekend too (hopefully they’ll be up by now). It was a strange TFN for me in a number of ways, and I'm going to self-indulgently reflect on that.

Normally I drive from My Home in The North, down the M6 to Brum, and get to the Hilton Metropole around late-afternoonish on the Friday. Dump my stuff in my room, head out for a mooch, check out the Friday night festivities, hopefully catch up with friends in the bar, and try to get a relatively early night to feel rested not just for the first full day of the con but also for the inevitable Long One on Saturday night. But a couple of things were different this year. For one, I was working in London, so I caught the train from Euston instead, and go to the hotel quite early. For another, I had what we in the trade refer to as a Minging Cold and felt Proper Rotten. So apologies to anyone who I gave my lurgy to. Anyway, an upshot of this is that I didn’t feel too much like hanging out in the bar or really being all that sociable. I think if D.C. Douglas hadn't been doing his excellent Erotic Fan-Fiction Show on Friday night I'd probably have just hidden in my room to play Civilization VI on my own. But I really didn’t want to miss Chase from Rescue Bots delivering a bit of late night smut, and I’m glad I stuck it out, because it was fantastic.

Although I always love TFN the holy-cow-wow factor from my first con visit a few years ago waxes and wanes. This year I knew I wasn’t looking for any toys so I didn’t engage quite as strongly with the vendors. And I still felt crap for most of Saturday, popping back to my room a couple of times for a rest, and taking a long walk back into the NEC to try to find some drugs. Fortunately, the addition of concentrated Lemsip to my system gave me sufficient strength to power through the afternoon, and by the evening’s festivities I was feeling much, much better. The Stan Bush concert was incredible, and I spent the rest of my time in the bar, chatting to friends old and new.

Sunday, by contrast, was a hardscrabble day of running around and trying to get everything signed by the guests, as I’d squandered Saturday on feeling poorly and taking it easy. But I spoke to everyone and got all the signatures I wished, even if I was trying To Be Good and not spend several hundred pounds on artwork. But I did, at least, get a beautiful Spiderling picture from Nick Roche, which will eventually hang on my daughter’s wall.

So anyway, it was a really cool convention, but it felt slightly disjointed and I left with a melancholy feeling. I think a lot of that was due to me being away from home, and spending the weekend I'd have ordinarily used to go back and see my family at TFN instead. Plus, as is always the case with these things, I like chatting to people more than mooching and purchasing, and there just isn’t enough time, especially when you’re friends with the creators themselves. But it was great. I love TFN, it’s one of the highlights of my year. I hope I can go again next year; obviously it’s an expense, but more than that it’s time out during the summer holidays and time away from my kids. It's always going to be a tough decision, at least til they’re old enough to want to come with me (I don’t think they’ll be staying up till 2am discussing celebrity sex abusers for quite some time, however).

Here, then, are my favourite bits. Or at least the bits that have hung around my memory most powerfully. Cheers, TFN, and thanks loads to everyone involved in the organising.

Stan Bush: “I would have waited an eternity for this,” said Nick Roche when introducing him, and I think he meant it (although it does sound suspiciously like a line from a film. Lord of the Rings, maybe?). Mr Bush did not disappoint. Quintessential 80s rocking, with lots of implied slow-motion montages. Music to drive motorbikes to as the sun goes down over the naval base. It was amazing.

Saturday Night: Like I said, I spent the rest of Saturday night with friends in the bar. It was great fun, and really affirmed my love of the convention, and of Transformers fans in general. Everyone just seems so chill, and all on the same page, just sharing in their love of the franchise and its associated art. I’ve been very lucky to get on friendly terms with various Transformers creators over the years; I hope by calling them my friends I'm not overstepping any boundaries and coming across like some weird stalker. I really like these guys, and chatting to them is an annual highlight. Wish it could happen more often.

Sunday Afternoon: I normally leave fairly sharpish, to be honest, once the con winds down, but with no real hurry to get home (no excited children waiting for me, alas) I hung about a bit longer, and sampled some of the famous Sunday night vibe. I was chatting with a different set of friends, people I see at the Travelling Man store in Manchester, and it was a really nice come down after the highs of Saturday night. I can see why people like staying Sunday night, and not just out of a desire to make TFN last as long as possible.

The Lost Light Love-In: I love Lost Light, and the final (?) TFN panel dedicated to the book was a delight. Revelations, discarded plots, behind-the-scenes info, some subtle teases; it was everything a fan could desire. But the real takeaway was the display of friendship between writer James Roberts and artist Jack Lawrence. It was so, so cool that these two old buds got to make a comic together based on one of their favourite things in the world, and that we all got to read it. It was the perfect, bittersweet end to a long and lovely ride.

An Annie for Annie: my kids might not have read a lot of comics but at the end of the day, most kids still love Spider-Man. My youngest is called Annie; Spider-Man's daughter is called Annie in Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows; the artist of Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows is Nick Roche; Nick was at TFN. It's not hard to get from one thing to the other, and now I have a really great Spiderling picture. I'm hoping it’s something Annie (my Annie, the IRL Annie) will cherish as she gets older. And don’t worry about my eldest, she’s already got three Nick Transformers headshots.

Filth: I’d heard of, but didn’t really know much about, D.C. Douglas’s “Erotic (Zombie-Related) Fan-Fiction" show. I’m not a big Resident Evil fan so I’m almost entirely unfamiliar with his work as Albert Wesker; as far as I’m concerned he’s Chase from Transformers: Rescue Bots. But he’s funny on Twitter so I thought this would be funny too, and quite frankly who wouldn’t want to go see something about erotic fiction at a Transformers convention? Anyway, it didn’t disappoint; it was hilarious and proper mucky. Kudos to the organisers for putting it on, because it’s not the sort of thing I've seen at TFN before. The icing on the cake was the fact that I got to go up on stage and take part, although I reckon my bits could have been dirtier. So to speak.

Blimey!: there was a period of my life when I was probably just as excited for the Combat Colin strip in Transformers as I was by the ongoing story of those robots in disguise themselves. So to finally meet Colin’s creator, Lew Stringer, and get an original Semi-Automatic Steve sketch, was marvellous. I really wish I'd had more time to chat to him, though; he’s a font of knowledge about British comics and their history, and more than that, he was a massive influence on me, my artwork, and my writing. It’s funny sometimes, when you think back, the things that shaped you creatively. Combat Colin is, I think even Lew would admit, fairly niche in terms of popular culture, but the books I’m writing at the moment owe just as much to the adventures of Colin, Steve, the Giggly Sisters, Megabrain, Madprof, Combat Kate and the rest, as they do to the various superhero writers and great novelists that I've cribbed from disgracefully over the years.

Where it All Began: I started collecting Transformers with issue 11 of the UK comic. The lead story in that issue – “Man of Iron” – was illustrated by Mike Collins. Mike was at the convention, and he signed my VERY FIRST ISSUE OF TRANSFORMERS EVER. I mean, how cool is that? Like with Lew, though, I didn’t have much chance to speak to him unfortunately, and I never managed to get an original sketch either. Hopefully he’ll be back!

Those Wonderful Toys: I didn’t really buy anything this year. Most years I either get myself something or at least pick up a couple of small things for the girls. But I knew I was spending more on artwork than usual, plus in general I just wanted to be more frugal, so I didn’t want to go flinging money on “Plastic Crack”. The only thing I really, really wanted was a Power of the Primes Rodimus Prime, which comes with a little Hot Rod that you can combine with his “trailer”, Powermaster Optimus Prime style, to turn into Rodimus. Rodimus, of course, is my favourite character, and this was a gimmick I came up with myself when I was a little kid, so of course I was super excited at the prospect. I think I saw one, briefly, on Saturday morning, but that was it: one. And it was gone so quickly I began to doubt myself. Anyway, with my One True Love not being present, buying toys was kind of an afterthought, but all the same: I love looking at them. Especially the third-party/custom jobs they have in the Forge. The huge Optimus was terrific, but I especially loved the life-size (well, human-sized, I guess) Optimus rifle. They should sell that thing at Toys R Us! Oh...

Geoffrey and Helpers: speaking of TRU (RIP), cosplay. Cosplay is Gold at TFN. This year was no exception. Utterly fantastic Vortex, Functionist Council, humanised Rodimus and Magnus, and loads more besides... it was great, really great. The sheer scale of the undertaking, the finesse, the performances: hats off to you, one and all. But the icing on the cake, for me at least, was the guy who dressed up as Geoffrey from the Toys R Us adverts, except wearing an Infinity Gauntlet. I mean, come on. That’s just incredible.

So there you have it: TF Nation 2018. It was a very emotional experience for me this year. Really, really cool. I do love it. I hope I can go to one of the meet-ups, especially if they have one in the north. And I hope I get to see people in between now and next year, too. Having said that, for a variety of reasons I’m thinking I might give next year a miss, or maybe just go for one day or something.

Unless they get Judd Nelson as a guest. Or anyone else from Rescue Bots. Or Peter Cullen. Or if they have a Weird Al Yankovic concert. Or if they do a huge “End of IDW (version 1.0)” retrospective. Or if they have all the new creators. Or...

Jesus, it never ends.

#top ten #tf nation #tfn #transformers #convention #comics #IDW Publishing #toys #hasbro

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retechd · 6 years

Text

National Margarita Day

Met up with my wing pretty much right after work at chipotle. Opened the girl at the register. Asked her about her tattoo. She tells me its supposed to say one thing but says another. I tease her about it a bit. She ask if i can read it. I say does it look like i can read that. She says yes. I forget what i said after but Im holding up the line so i move on. Girl at soda machine isnt paying attention. Walks backwards then turns around right in front of me and get a shocked face. I just laugh about it.

Talking with my wing having fun. Free flowing light convo. Point to register girl and tell him what happened.-she sees this-. She shortly comes around wiping tables down. I tell her i totally wasnt talking to her. My wing says we totally were. I ask what the name *tattoo* means. She tells me a story about her dead dog. I sympathize with her, i can relate then make it light by joking how shes just full of dark things and is depressing me. She has to get back behind the counter.

We end up walking to the bars from there. Wing opens a 3 set headed to TR. Asking if they are headed there. I almost immediately get in my head.

1. I was not expecting to open them because i was a bitch.

2. I started feeling like I couldn’t get in on the convo.

I could only think about saying things that pretty much echo’d my wing.

This happens again when two girls are hooting. Wing opens with “have you two been drinking already.” Has playful banter with them. Im already in my head but for some reason. Confident, good looking girls intimidate me if im not in state. The were both good lookin, very much in their own bubble of fun and obviously from the college which to me means they have money and are clichie. Same thing happens. I can’t get a word in. Even if i did it would only be an echo.

Go inside same venue. And after getting the drink prices we walk out. Circle the bar area then end up back there since everything else was dead. So this venue put me more in my head. Im not used to restaurant venues. Plus all filled with mostly the same demographic (white, money, clichie).

Note: I realize this is completely my interpretation and while i do have experiences to say this may be the case. It probably has more to do with my terrible game, especially in my first year than them being snobbish. I will write a frame for these people to start getting me to not default to my current prejudices which just dont help me at all.

Same with confident really attractive people. I give them a status in my head and feel inferior which I completely not the case. I’ve been friends with really cool people, wealthy people, and peope of status all my life. Its so unnecessary for me to feel “not worthy”.

So we are chillin with ourselves. Girls walk by but Im so in my head i can’t do anything. Which leads me to be more in my head ruminating on not taking action. My wing isn’t doing anything either. We are vibing with each other though; which is much better than just standing in silence looking around.

Wing opens two promo girls giving away drinks. Same thing, he is doing everything and I’m kind of just there. The girl closest me me keeps taking little glances at me. In the moment i thought she was feelin g awkward because i was just being quiet but now im wondering if she was just attracted to me. Other girl has big tits and a low V neck. I do my best to not look and fail a couple times...she maybe might’ve saw too. They gives us drinks, take a picture where im purposefully making it awkward as a joke. Then they move on to give more promo drinks.

Note: This is what Don does. He is not someone i should ever emulate. So mental note to never make things wierd even as a joke. Also never be awkward and try because anything is better than stewing in my anxiety and inaction.

A bit later i try to open a girl getting a refill. “You have an interesting look, what are you? *internally pause fearful she’ll take offense and add* “if you dont mind me asking.” I was leaning in -bad body mechanics telegraphing neediness- . She give me a side look and say “human”. Internally im thinking fuuuck you bitchface. I come back with thanks for a real answer. This stewed with me. I kept trying to let it go but it triggered something in me. My wing helped talk me through it, finally was able to stop being a bitch and realize im just not in abundance. She should have been insignificant but i wasn’t on a roll yet and was barely opening.

Fast foward. I decide to txt 2 girls i made out with from another night. Its been at least a week or two. One tried to blow me off with “im pregnant” to which i laughed my ass off, played with her a bit and deleted her number. Other one was receptive and says she’s available tomorrow. I tell her i’ll txt her then. Hit up my CMB and actually got her input on why she wanted to not go out again. She says it’s because it seemed like my mind was in the gutter alot. I consider this and figure she felt wierd because i didnt txt her the next day and also probably gets the vibe that I get nasty with more than just her. I thank her for the info and delete the convo. -my way of not letting myself get needy-

Open two big girls that sit near us, pulling up a picture of my buddy who would absolutely love them *he likes bbws*. They are fun. Not sure what was said but it was pleasant. New wing joins up late. Tell him we are grabbing coffee. Bounce to SH.

Feeling better. Talk to the hostess, just normal stuff but im trying to push myself. Talk with the waitress. Say something to a random girl that walks in and is smiley. The girls (lesbians) we met last time come over to say hi. Short but definitely a nice boost having a warm welcome. Definitely going to be part of our social circle. 2 wings meet up from before. We talk, having a good time. One drops off then we bounce to new venue.

I get in a set with a cute dominican girl, she kind of opens me. Talk about how many drinks we have had. I ask her name and what she does, then decide to deep dive a bit to root out core values (in HR but likes Logistics). Get light again, intro the friends, shortly after they pull her away. I stay and talk to the next person to sit next to me. Cowboy, rodeo dude. Short but keeps the momentum going. Try to open a girl on the patio trying to get a cigarette. Then try to do a new angle to get her to talk. “Why does it sound like your mouth is full. She laughs but is trying to keep food in then a guy (they know each other) comes in and tales all her attention. I stay light but shortly leave.

Check outside and see a girl sitting by herself. Called my friend for some reason to confirm for this weekend (they’re crashing at my place). Ask her for a cigarette in the middle of it. She doesn’t have one so i change the subject or something. This was a blur ( too many margaritas) but lots went right. We were talking having fun then the cute columbian girl comes over. Turns out this girl was part of the three i met earlier. Massive social proof now seeing as i cold open her friend and they come to find us both laughing and having fun. I know i was talking about having sex with my friends gf and twisting it to say that she wants it and hes cool with it. Sex is definitely a great topic for girls. Friends come in and we all start vibing. At some point a dude comes in, I’m friendly and acknowledge but quickly find out hes a friendly rando that gave them a cigarette so i ignore him for the most part. Game wisdom to ignore the randos and not give attention or be reactive to them. At some point the two friends that joined us start dancing a bit. I qualify her dancing saying I like that she can wiggle. She then bounces that ass on me. 😮!

Note: this rarely happens and amazingly i just made it happen by being cool, free flowing, unstifled, non judgmental and qualifying her / rewarding her behavior!

My target , dominican, is smiling but i can see the jealousy plotline instilled and she wants in. So she grinds her ass on her friends crotch and now we a grinding train with yours truly as the base 😁! Shortly after its time for them to go so hug everyone and get my targets number. The girl that was grinding on me tries to get in my ear and say she is going to be married in 4 months. -jealousy plotline in action!- I said we’ll she has to be sure. -it was weak, I didn’t know how to respond-. Should have said we’ll we can always be friends...maybe. I’ll consult the council.

Back inside my wings are still in same set. One of them leaves to the bathroom so i chat him up a bit. Its going super well, he’s getting her to deep dive and open up. Apparently they share a lot and make plans for brunch. He ask me to talk to the friend. I see shes alone an pulroceed to chat her up * i love it when i’ve got my social motor running and this isn’t an issue* I talk to her, bigger girl but shes cool. Get her name. Forgot exactly everything but i know it wasn’t particularly warm at first then she started opening up. She had so much unique jewelry that it was easy to keep pinging for stuff to talk about that is relevant. Then we get on to ghost stories, weed habits, and i forget what else. At some point i go on about being the god of sex and proceed to hold her hands to bless her pussy which i accidently pat, she didn’t seem to mind at all. But i feel tense about it and mention it.

Note: Need to hold the frame that everything is on purpose and going according to plan. Girls prey and tear apart weakness. It can turn an edgy action from a spike of fun to a bitch fest if they smell it.

So my wing, who was originally talking to them comes back and i give it back. When they leaves i hug and bless her pussy again. Go to bathroom and run into a buddy who bounces at a nearby bar on the way. Chill with him, his buddy joins and all vibing. Intro my new wing he hasn’t met. All of us vibing. Wing drops off and its just the dynamic duo. We bounce to a new spot. It is insane and poppin!! All college girls but super cluby. Im a fuckin fan! No opens but its fun. I felt fun but ready at the same time (to fight) maybe its because i know how aggressive kids can get. Outside, wing was ready to bounce, bum a cigarette and barely vibe. We bail, its already late.

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ohwowbabee · 6 years

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10k Vid Code by Dexter Paglinawan Bonus

10k Vid Code Review and Bonus by Dexter Paglinawan – Copy How I Generated Over $10K In Three Days By Telling Stories Anyone Can Make

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Increase your profit dramatically by using a cooler way to sell, without sounding like an annoying salesman… so you can practically tell stories to engage more customers into buying your products or services even if your just the “new guy in town”.

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I understand concepts and take action better whenever I get case studies, and templates on the courses I buy. Where can I get those? Although you already get everything you need to understand and start implementing the 10k Vid code system, I understand that some people tend to look for more content. In that case, you can grab the “upgrade package” on the next page (you’ll be lead to the upsell page after this purchase).

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