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#i’m obsessed with when people are nice to me
em-harlsnow · 3 days
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i’m dangerously obsessed w the idea of ian and mickey doing tiktok trends. not posting them, just doing them for a laugh.
maybe it’s coz i’m single so have no one to do them with but EITHER WAY it’s so cute.
like there’s a 54321 texting one i can imagine ian doing if they were separated for like a night for babysitting or somthing.
ian: hey can i ask u somthing
mick: yh y
(sorry i fully think he’s a rlly dry texter)
ian: it’s another trend
mick: ffs
: fine
ian: what’s five things u like about me
mick: jfc
: idk lemme think
ian: ur not meant to have to think
mick: well i need 2 think of my top 5
ian: hurry up
mick: hair, stupid puns, freckles, hands, arms
ian: you like my puns?
mick: i laugh at them not with them
ian: right
: well next question
: what’s four things i like
mick: me me me me
ian: ur not funny
mick: fine
: tomatoes, van damme, movie nights, ass, nice dinner
ian: that’s five
mick: i didn’t think u wld accept ass
ian: okay well it’s accurate so
: next one what’s three things u would change about me
mick: that’s a trap if i ever saw one
ian: it’s not
mick: idk man
ian: just say
mick: nah i rlly dk
: shitty movie taste, being friends with lip, telling me what to do
ian: i don’t tell you what to do
mick: you told me to do laundry
ian: well ur lazy so that’s fair enough
: next one
: what’s two things that make me happy
mick: franny, when i hold ur hand bc u think it’s cute but u always walk like ur gonna fall into the road so it’s not cute it’s stopping u from dying
ian: it is cute and i don’t walk close to the road
mick: whatever
ian: last one
: what makes me different from other ppl
mick: bright ass hair
: jk
: idk ur like kind and stuff
ian: lots of people are kind mick
mick: not rlly
: i did ur stupid game
ian: i liked ur answers
mick: good can u send me ur dick then
ian: jfc ur a nightmare
mick: yup send it
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songbirdseung · 2 days
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photobooth / sim jaeyun
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synopsis: take a picture, it'll last longer
pairing: college students jake x reader, strangers, campus crush
warnings: none?? maybe college?? lol, lmk if i missed anything
wc: 1k
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Sitting outside, eating lunch with your friends in one of the park-like areas of your university was a common occurrence. But today was different. Today, you caught a glimpse of the new foreign exchange student from South Korea.
You were the friend who was always single, the one who constantly complained about being alone but never really ventured outside the house. You never made the effort to ask anyone out. Yet, something inside you compelled you to get up from your picnic blanket and approach the attractive stranger.
"Your soup is going to get cold, YN. What are you even looking at?" Yuna asked, trying to match your line of sight. Eventually, her eyes landed on the man sitting on a bench. "Oh, Jake. I see."
"Jake? You know him?" you asked. Yuna nodded and explained that he was in her science class. He was known to be a smart guy, originally from South Korea but also from Australia. You looked back at where Jake had been sitting, but the bench was now empty.
"Awh, is little baby YN finally falling for someone?" Sunghoon teased.
Ever since that day, you had a new endeavor: to find or at least catch a glimpse of Jake every day. Whenever you got out of class early, you would rush to Yuna's science class, knowing Jake would be there. Naturally, your friends teased you, calling you obsessive and a stalker. Unbeknownst to you, you weren't very discreet because Jake had definitely noticed your love-filled stares, thanks in part to his friend, Jay.
"Do you know her?" Jay asked one day while he and Jake were playing soccer with other people. Jay had noticed a girl sitting in the bleachers with her friend. That girl was you, and you had convinced Yuna to watch Jake practice.
"Don't forget about me when you start dating him," Yuna nudged you playfully.
"Oh, please. Like you didn't avoid me for a week when you started dating Sunghoon," you retorted with a grin. As you both playfully argued, Jake paused, took a good look at you, and shook his head at Jay.
"This is actually the first time I've seen her," Jake admitted.
A week later, there you were again at Jake's practice, but this time you were by yourself. Deep down, you knew you were being kind of creepy and weird, but having a crush makes you do the strangest things. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t pay much attention to the game, simply spacing out until the very end of the practice. You snapped out of it only when Jake made his way towards you, his Aussie accent pulling you back to reality.
"Hey, space cadet!" Jake called out with a grin, snapping his fingers in front of your face.
Startled, you blinked and looked up at him. "Oh, hi. Sorry, I was just… thinking."
"Thinking, huh?" Jake laughed. "Must have been some deep thoughts. I'm Jake, by the way."
"Yeah, I know," you replied nervously. "I'm YN."
"Nice to officially meet you, YN," he said, extending his hand. After you shook it, he continued, "So, I’ve noticed you’ve been around a lot lately. Do you always come to watch soccer practice, or am I just that interesting?"
You blushed, trying to find the right words. "Well, um, maybe a bit of both?"
Jake chuckled. "Don’t worry, I’m just teasing. Jay told me you’ve got a bit of a crush on me."
You felt your face heat up even more. "He did, did he? That’s… embarrassing."
"Not really," Jake said with a smile. "It’s kind of cute, actually. So, tell me more about yourself. What’s your major?"
As you both started talking, the conversation flowed effortlessly. You found yourselves laughing and sharing stories, and it felt like an instant spark, as if you had known each other your whole lives.
"You know," Jake said after a while, "I feel like we’ve been friends forever. This is nice."
"Yeah," you agreed, smiling. "It really is."
Over the next few weeks, your friendship with Jake grew stronger. You found yourselves hanging out more often, whether it was grabbing coffee after classes, studying together in the library, or just chatting about life.
One afternoon, as you were both sitting under a large oak tree on campus, Jake turned to you with a smile. "So, YN, tell me something I don't know about you yet."
You thought for a moment, then grinned. "I can play the guitar. Not many people know that about me."
"Really? That's awesome!" Jake exclaimed. "You have to play for me sometime."
"Only if you promise not to laugh if I mess up," you said, nudging him playfully.
"I promise," Jake said, raising his hand as if taking an oath.
Another day, you both decided to go for a hike in the nearby hills. As you reached the top, the view took your breath away. Standing side by side, you both admired the scenery in comfortable silence.
"It's beautiful up here," you said softly.
"Yeah, it is," Jake replied, looking at you instead of the view. "Thanks for suggesting this."
"No problem," you said, feeling a warm blush rise to your cheeks. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
As the days turned into weeks, Jake became a constant presence in your life. One evening, after a particularly grueling study session, Jake looked at you and said, "You know, I really appreciate having you around. You make everything more fun."
"Thanks, Jake," you replied, smiling. "I feel the same way."
One night, while sitting on a bench after a late-night coffee run, Jake turned to you with a serious expression. "YN, I've been thinking… We've become really close, and I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I feel like there's something more here. Do you feel it too?"
Your heart raced as you met his gaze. "I do, Jake. I’ve felt it for a while now."
He smiled, reaching out to take your hand. "So, what do you say we give this a shot? See where it goes?"
You squeezed his hand gently, feeling a surge of happiness. "I'd like that a lot."
From that moment on, your relationship with Jake blossomed into something even more special. The bond you shared, built on a foundation of friendship, grew stronger with each passing day.
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samgirl98 · 1 day
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Mending a Family 38/?
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Jason’s guilt grew as he entered his newly restored Mustang.
He had finished fixing her up that day and had been excited to take his little family around the village.
And he had. He had put Danny in a booster seat and Ellie in a car seat and taken a drive with Jazz in the passenger seat. They made it a family day, ate out, sang out of tune with whatever song came on the radio, and had a good time.
Then, they got home, Danny fell asleep, and Jason started feeling down.
He had no idea why he had bouts of depression, but they were starting to become annoying. Well, they would be if he had the space to feel annoyed.
Jason rubbed his chest. It hurt as if someone was squeezing his heart.
Jason turned on the car and felt the soft purr. He stayed in the car, not daring to move. Why couldn’t he feel happy all the time? Why was he thinking about his old family so much? Every time he felt miserable about his old family, he felt guilty. It felt as if he was betraying his current family.
Jason was so lost in his negative thoughts he didn’t notice Jazz until she entered the passenger side.
“Jazz, what are you doing here? Are the kids alone?”
Jason was about to leave the car when Jazz pulled out a baby monitor.
“I got it covered,” she said, “Besides, nobody can come through our haunt without us knowing.”
Jason said nothing.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” came his automatic response. Jazz raised an eyebrow.
“Uh-huh. Sure, I believe that, big brother.”
Silence reigned for a while. The chirping of the crickets was the only thing that could be heard.
“Am I a bad person for missing them so much? I love you guys, and you are the best things that have ever happened to me, but when I’m alone with my thoughts and emotions, I can’t help—I miss them but feel like I’m betraying what we have. What we found.”
Jason let his head fall on the steering wheel. The ache in his chest grew. He wanted his family to be whole again. Jason could picture it in his mind’s eye. Danny surrounded by the Waynes. Danny being spoiled by his aunts and uncles. By the Ancients, he wanted that. He wanted Danny to have cousins, aunts, and uncles.
Jason wanted his older jackass of a brother. He wanted his grandfather…He wanted his dad.
He wanted his family whole. No, his family was whole already.
What was he thinking? What was wrong with him? Why wasn’t he satisfied with the family he had?
“We have a theory,” Jazz said, putting her hand on Jason’s head and giving soft scratches. It felt nice. “Danny and I think your obsession is family. Until you can have every last person you consider family surrounding you, well, you won’t feel complete.”
Jason snorted. It made sense, but Ancients, did his obsession have to be something he couldn’t have?
“So basically, my obsession is unreachable. They’ll never take me back. And if I do return, they’ll try to take Danny away from me. They’ll consider me unstable, too much of a monster to raise a child.”
Jazz said nothing. Jason raised his head and stared at the woman who had become his younger sister. Someone Jason could trust.
“I miss mom and dad sometimes, too,” Jazz whispered, “not for the people they turned out to be, but for who they once were.”
Jazz smiled bittersweetly and turned toward Jason, “Do you think me a bad person for missing them?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” was his automatic response.
“Then why don’t you give yourself that same leeway? My parents have done horrible things; they tried to kill Danny! Yet, I still miss them. Family is complicated, Jason. Emotions are even more so. Don’t blame yourself for what you’re feeling, and don’t feel like you’re betraying us because you want what you used to have. We understand.”
“You’re all too good for me.”
Jazz slapped the back of his head. Jason yelped out in surprise.
“And stop thinking you don’t deserve to be happy. You have a family, even if it’s incomplete.”
“No, you guys are enough,” Jason refuted.
Jazz smiled sadly and kissed his cheek.
“I’m going inside. Remember, don’t feel bad for your emotions, Jason. If I’m allowed to miss my old family, so are you.”
Jason said nothing. He watched Jazz enter the house, lost in his thoughts.
How nice it would be to integrate his old family with his new one, but if he tried, he would lose what he had built.
“Suck it up, Todd; you have a great family now. Forget about your old one.”
Jason turned off the car, phased through it, and returned to the house. The ache in his chest still throbbed.
Suddenly, a chill ran down his spine. He looked out into the darkness and felt watched. There was no one there. Jason gave one more uneasy look into the forest and went inside.
____
Tim couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Holy shit,” he whispered.
Tim had a facial recognition program running 24/7. After a few weeks of the program running, he had a match.
La Petite Académie would like to thank Peter “Jay” Nightingale for his generous donation to the school. Two benches will be built in his honor.
Tim observed the picture. Jason had dyed his head red and glared at the camera as his picture was taken. He held a plaque with the school’s name, address, and Jason’s alias.
He broke into the school’s files and read about Daniel Nightingale. He had the highest marks in his class and was considered exceptionally smart. Jason had donated fifteen thousand dollars to the school and seemed to be an active participant in school activities. Jazz Nightingale was put in as an emergency contact, and he found phone numbers. Most important, though, was the address listed on the record.
Tim had a lead. His next stop would be Tadoussac, Canada.
I'm so sorry if this wasn't up to my usual standard. I needed to move the plot along. On the plus side, I know how I want the story to go and end. On the downside, I see an end, which means my time with this fic is coming to a close.
Anyway, I hope you liked
@itsberrydreemurstuff @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon @all-mights-asscheeks @ender-reader @fuyu-bitch @ravenswife
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flowercrowngods · 7 months
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do you ever feel weird just constantly liking or reblogging from someone’s blog? bc i do — i feel weird but i do it daily for you. YOURE JUST SO GOOD
i know it’s just my anxiety telling me this and i know for the most part it’s appreciated but like??? everything you write needs to shared and stored so i can go back to it
i’ve been thinking about this ask all day 🤍 first of all hhh i wanna say thank you, that’s so endlessly sweet 🥺😭🤍
and secondly, you are right, it is appreciated!! wholly and entirely!! i see you, i recognise the regular urls, i see those mutuals and regulars who always appear in quick succession and in my head you’re all friends. i am very attached. so please don’t feel weird, i really really do appreciate it, even if there are no tags added for gushing or yelling purposes, if it’s just a reblog, plain and simple. for safekeeping.
and that’s also a point you’re making: safekeeping. i know there’s this (very rightfully) writer-centric attitude of “reblog to spread the word, reblog so other people can see it too, reblog so the thing gets more exposure, reblog so the writer will keep going.” and yes. a thousand times yes. but this is a two-way street, and honestly if you reblog for safekeeping? if you reblog because you wanna read it again? if you reblog because you wanna collect art and fics like little trinkets in your safe little comfy place? then please by all means, never never never stop. go do nice things for yourself, go keep those little ficlets we put out into the world, go like and reblog from the same person constantly because you’ve found that person whose stuff you enjoy so immensely!!!
i know you sent me this ask to compliment me, and i appreciate it so much!!! 🤍 but more importantly, i want to put a hand on your shoulder and wipe that smile of self-deprecation and anxiety away and tell you, it’s okay. it’s so so fine 🤍 like and reblog and keep things for yourself. do whatever feels best, nobody can take that away from you 🤍 don’t feel weird. i see you and i appreciate you 🥰🌷🫶
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goldkirk · 4 months
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When did the latest 1,000 of you follow me??? good lord hi and welcome, I should maybe pay attention to my notifications and activity page more 😭
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frogtossing · 10 months
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not me looking for job offers in cultural exchange programs in Finland in the middle of the night….
#what is that green man doing to me#my graduation is slowly but surely approaching#and i have no idea what i’ll do once i’m out of school#and i was thinking about potentially doing work and travel#and i went ‘hey i don’t necessarily have to work in an english speaking country’#and in a thought experiment i opened the page for finland#BOOM#there are so many people looking for people who can help around the house and with gardening….#i found one family asking for help with keeping maintenance around their house#and they seem so nice???#and they said they’re always looking forward to making new friends and getting to know different cultures that way#i might have fallen in love with them??#what do i do now???#i won’t probably do anything but i do like entertaining the thought#there’s a little demon in the back of my head though calling me cringe#am i not lowkey equating Finland with Käärijä??#cuz let’s be honest he sparked my interest in Finland#nyeeeeee i don’t know#i already feel a little bit of shame when people ask me what language i’m learning on duolingo#i’m scared that they’ll go ‘hah she’s so obsessed! cringe’#but isn’t it a good thing that i’m broadening my horizon?#technically it’s a good thing but is my motivation behind it valid?#oof sorry for this whole tangent#who knows! maybe i really will be posting from Finland in a year from now#i’m an adult i can do whatever i want#that is a scary scary thought#a thought that slows me down and stops me from actually doing anything#because it doesn’t seem real? and i’m so overwhelmed?#OKAY enough now
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padfootastic · 1 year
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the worst thing is when like. someone on the internet hasn’t done anything wrong, is a perfectly pleasant person, but their vibes are utterly rancid to u. can’t escape them bc theyre on ur feed 84372 times a day and u feel very very weird blocking someone who’s literally not even looked in ur direction lmao
#like i *get* it block liberally etc etc and i DO#but sometimes it’s like. why. what is it *about* this person that bothers me#it’s just such tiny tiny things#and i really can’t escape it half the time#tumbles block system is great when ur the one blocked but now when ur doing the blocking#(which. wtf tumblr)#i’m still seeing people in reblogs#and like. again. they’re a nice person. not done anything technically wrong#but i have the most feral urge to growl at them thru the screen#like ??? wtf brain??#since when do we care about vibes so much#it’s like that thing where if a person u don’t like makes a good point#but u can’t take anything they say in good faith lol#some of the stupidest things that’s made me feel like this is say. someone w a weird headcanon#or people who use <3 in that. tiktok girlie suibaiting way#passive aggressiveness#if someone’s *too* sensitive on the internet#idk the list goes on and i don’t wanna keep blocking people but i need to know another ways to manage this lol#i think one time i blocked someone for posting about how sirius is obsessed with remus lmao#i didn’t like the…tone…nor the words….#there is literally no point to this i just saw something on my feed and got super annoyed s’all#something so irrelevant i’m gonna forget about it in 7 hours#i’m gonna compare it to a lactose intolerance#milk is wonderful and everyone around u loves it but it gives u gas so u stay away and give it a stink eye everytime#no one’s at fault but u feel like an over sensitive bitch lmao#(not me tho. love me my dairy)#so. ykno.#a lil rant. if u will.#pen’s whining
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fulgurbugs · 1 year
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maaaan i’m scared my monster ball draculaura is gonna get delivered and have just ratty matted hair… seems to be a common occurrence from the reveiews but her stock photo hair is just gorgeous and i really want mine to look like that. might have to learn how to do a boil wash and curl cuz i don’t wanna have her looking yucky next to my other girls
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aequitaes · 1 year
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.
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halfelven · 1 year
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idk why i feel like confession time in the middle of the day on a wednesday but it’s confession time that the real reason i barely attempt to date anymore is because i loathe kissing unless we have both just had a gum, brushed our teeth, and then drank a nice big glass of water
like i get that i’m a bit extreme in that when i was in the states and couldn’t get my nice finnish clean your teeth gun i’d rinse my mouth with water and soap when i was on the go and didn’t have toothpaste and now i have gum after every single thing i eat but like people’s oral hygiene is not on my level and it’s so gross. they also do not drink enough water. which, sure, i’m also a bit extreme about. but i’ve always been a bit uptight. it’s not changing.
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mcnuggyy · 2 years
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I have never felt like more of an adult than going to my childhood besties baby shower and like buying the baby items and fucking paying for my own flight and talking with all the family members <3 almost felt like I actually have my shit together, almost <33
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sammygender · 1 year
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i’m sorry i have psychological problems because thinking too hard about tris and four from hit shit YA trilogy divergent still makes me want to sob. even tho i haven’t thought about them in like five years
#suddenly want to cry not at them but at twelve year old me#God. jesus christ. jesus fucking christ#we change and we grow up. & stuff we held most dearly in our arms becomes a subject of mockery!#but we still have a little soft spot for it deep down because we remember who we were when we liked it#& i remember who i was when the biggest part of my identity was being a divergent fan. giggling whenever someone said the number four.#obsessed with dauntless because i wanted so badly to be brave and strong and able to protect myself. the way i still do now!#the way i always will#i was so little i had so much hope :( before anything shit had happened to me yet. or actually not really not at all. but before i’d#processed most of the shit that had already happened.#i can’t believe i was real back then. when i look at kids from that age now it’s scary they seem so little and so not real but i was so#real. i felt so much. i sorta wanted to kill myself aged 11 & i really almost did aged 13#but i was still always so full of hope. i thought i’d get older and get a romance like tris and fours. one that leaves you dead but still#ultimately loved. important. and i thought i’d be brave; excited; jumping from trains and off roofs. i always told myself i’d be the first#to jump.#i think i would; think i was right#the little version of me that had discovered for the first time that he was brave.#i’m the friend who makes the other friends do stupid shit. i like that about me. on buses i see tattoo parlours and jump and go WE SHOULD#ALL GO GET ANOTHER PIERCING! and then we do. a lot of my life is based on random moments of impulsivity. that’s really nice.#but i used to lose myself in other people’s writing; now it’s always my own. that feels so easy#just to consume. to give nothing back. feels so freeing#& i used to be free; no academic pressures or worries. the way i’d kill for that again.#oliver talks
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flowercrowngods · 1 year
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If you receive this, you make somebody happy! Go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. If you get one back, even better! 💜🌟
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thank you nonnie i’m glad i make you happy. what a wild concept that is, but let’s not get existential.
unfortunately i suck at these things so i’ll just tag ten people who make me happy, sorry this is not clad in an anonymous little ask (but still do feel free to pass along the kindness!) 🤍
@poebin @toboldlynerd @unclewaynemunson @thefreakandthehair @violetsteve @evergreennwilloww @corrodedbisexual @harmonictechnicality @eddies-artofsuffering @sevenpumpkins
thanks for talking to me and being amazing 🫶
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livvyofthelake · 1 year
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13 days until chain of thorns. it’s going to fix me i’m telling you. seeing cordelia is going to be so healing you don’t even understand
#thank god for the shadowhunter chronicles or i wouldn’t have anything to be obsessed with and weird about all the time constantly#well. i’m not THAT weird about it. i do think about other things it’s not like the horrors when all i ever talked about was merlin#i wonder what day of the horrors it is. when’s day 200?#my anniversary of starting the show is coming up in two months i know that much#anyway it’s nice to have a fallback obsession for when you don’t have something completely stupid to spend all your time thinking about.#well actually i am technically mid obsession with now you see me but it’s normal i’m being normal about that#i just need to rewatch danny at least once a week or i’ll die. but i’m normal#anyway. i think tsc was a good investment to make at 12. it’s served me well <3 near impossible to get into nowadays for new people tho#obviously doable with effort and time and real love for the game#most people don’t have that though so it’s hard not to gatekeep#anyway. cordelia is going to fix me. unless the book is bad and then i’ll be upset for years#i don’t think it will be bad though i think the plot will be ridiculous but getting to see all my guys happy in the end will be lovely#however i WILL have to suffer though bad plot and stupid miscommunication and love triangle BULLSHIT to get there#god this is easily cassie’s WORST love triangle. i mean seriously. james cordelia and matthew. seriously. cassandra you can do better#it’s really just so horrible like WHO wants cordelia to be with matthew.#matthew might be dead by the end of that book and personally i won’t care if he is. cassie hasn’t done shit to make ME like him since 2014#beth.txt
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kavehater · 3 months
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“ Omg pasilyo haikaveh/kavetham anthem 😆 ” this is me slapping some sense into you rn 🥊😜
#people are SO annoying 🧍‍♀️#you’re gonna ruin the song for me 🙄#dora daily#I’m convinced haikaveh lovers like this ship cause it’s a trend :/ can’t wait to actually play the thing and show everyone they’re the best#bestest* friends ever#>:(#if one of them was a girl y’all wouldn’t even look twice at this ship lets be honest here for a sec#ESPECIALLY when it’s straight girls over obsessing over them and only bl y’all are weird 😭 ofc people can read bl if they’re straight but#what I’m saying is exclusively reading that just because it’s bl is … yk#and even worse calling straight romance ew is the biggest red flag ever I’m sorry ( I’m not sorry )#and the way said people be like “ x is canon cause I say so ” or#their reply to people can be friends is something irritating like atp I feel like everyone ships everyone who breathes in the same directio#as another character and fr can people not have friends anymore does every flirtatious remark or not even that just them being nice and on#good terms equivalent to being in love ? sorry but I’m romance averse there’s finer things in life like friendships which clearly said#people don’t have cause everyone’s in love to them for some reason#tut freaking tut#anyways ! rant over 🫶#atp it’s so valid to say can people not be friends ? cause y’all are going too far ☠️ I’m sure if some characters weren’t minors they’d be#shipping them with the adults they interact with for funzies cause they have each other a speck of attention#be so fr rn 😭🥊
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t34rdr0pz · 8 months
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why do my feelings scare everyone away
#i’m just an objectively shitty person that’s just like.. how it is apparently#i don’t mean to be#i try really really hard and there’s just.. always something else#im not mad at you because i wouldn’t have wanted me either#i just hurt because i let myself believe i was good enough when i shouldn’t have and it’s my fault#i should’ve known better.#im.. literally nothing but an obsessive over jealous addict with anger issues#i am nothing but self destruction but you kept it in check for a while#i thought.. you saw the good in me but there wasn’t really much to see#and no matter how hard i try i can’t make you.. i swear i have it..#and i can’t listen when people say i deserve better because there isn’t better. and if there is i clearly don’t deserve it#there’s still shit about me you don’t know. shit that would’ve made you leave a LONG time ago#and even without knowing that you.. probably think i’m a monster#i tore myself apart trying to be enough for you and i’m just.. not. so why would i be for someone ‘better’#i thought you wanted a future but you just.. really didn’t..#i cared for you as best i could and if i ever needed or wanted something it had to be.. like a thing..#i don’t deserve anything#i NEVER deserved you but it was nice to believe i did for a while and i miss it.#im fucking dying being alone and you’re just.. moving on..#you’re getting an APARTMENT. like we wanted to do. for months. did you just not want it with me?#i don’t understand and you won’t tell me.. fuckin anything..#because i’m supposed to just be okay like i haven’t lost my savior#my guardian angel and my safety net#but i won’t be and you’re not gonna wanna deal with it and someday you’ll be gone too.#and i’ll just have to go through this cycle forever for the rest of my life#i wasn’t mad at you it’s just.. true#i have never in my life been this heartbroken all at once.#i lost the only person i thought was gonna treat me .. right. but i wasn’t enough. i couldn’t make you stay and want us#how could i ever do it with someone else? you saved me from my worst#i’ll NEVER have that with someone else. no one will EVER be you.
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