#i’m so NERVOUS fuck.

[permanentreverie]

so i may be moving in the next few weeks 😵‍💫

[artiificiial]

the lovers

[spect-era]

The loser that falls over….

[kiiingsnake]

in the meantime: elden ring yuri

[emotinalsupportturtle]

I can’t stop thinking of how despite it baffling most non-brits, and most of the Hollywood a-list audience, David Tennant decided to do a skit on his little lockdown rpf show, make a bunch of puns that only people familiar with British culture would get, wear a kilt and be his usual manic self when hosting an internationally prestigious award show

fucking power move

[commit-vehicular-manslaughter]

SPREAD THE FUCKING WORD

[shit-sorry-fuck-mybad]

Hangman says weird shit when he gets nervous

As in, he overshares when he gets nervous and isn’t sure what to say, sometimes it’s just trauma dumping and sometimes it’s sexual and sometimes it’s just… idk weird

He usually has it under control, the pressure of his job is not the thing that gets him, it’s the stress of his life outside of work

—

Example 1:

Ice: nice to meet you, Jake

Hangman: pleasure’s all mine sir, you have a beautiful house, you know, I used to live in a house just like this before my dad kicked me out and disowned me

Ice:

Hangman: sorry

—

Example 2:

Coyote: so?

Hangman: so what?

Coyote: did you tell him?

Hangman: I told him that I can’t stand him and that I want to **** his **** and then have him **** me until I can’t breath and hopefully until he can’t speak

Coyote:

Coyote: instead of… I love you?

Hangman: I got nervous ._.

—

Example 3:

Rooster: are you sure you’re ok?

Hangman: of course, it’s just a funeral, haven’t even seen the man in more than a decade

Rooster: yeah but he’s still your dad, you’re allowed to be upset

Hangman: hmm

Hangman: hey, did you know that like 1% of people get buried alive?

Rooster: I didn’t know that

Rooster: ready to go?

Hangman, taking his hand: hopefully he won’t wake up mid ceremony

[edsbacktattoo]

our flag means death season 2 official merchandise pack. available while stocks last

[milkymooshi]

I never realized how many fucking layers Ed wore in like S5. Like why did he wear like a vest and 2 suit jackets?? AND IM WILLING TO BET MONEY HE’S ALSO WEARING AN UNDERSHIRT. THATS LIKE 5 LAYERS. WHO IN THE WORLD NEEDS TO BE THIS EXTRA????

[traffic-was-a-b1tch]

sweet surprise

(jake kiszka x reader) 18+

summary: you want to surprise jake with a romantic evening at home and he makes it well worth your while.

warnings: SMUT!, unprotected penetrative sex, dirty talk, soft dom!jake, oral (f rec), swearing (I think that’s it but lmk if I missed one)

authors note: heyyyy everyone! i’ve always wanted to write fanfics and randomly had this idea today…so here we are. please be nice, it’s my first fic ever. but anyways, enjoy!

• • •

you were waiting on jake to get home, eager smile creeping on your face.

after a long but rewarding day at work, you came home and decided to do something sweet for him. you always wanted to show him how much you appreciated him.

it had taken you an hour to set it all up: a romantic bath for the two of you, complete with roses, candles, and smooth rock music. you knew he’d love it.

he was running late, per usual. studio sessions take so much time and he takes a lot of pride in making sure the takes are perfect.

he’d sent you a sneak peek of the band’s new song a few hours ago while you were on your lunch break. a sweet, acoustic melody sung through the phone and you instantly loved it. his beautiful voice danced into the music with sweet words describing a girl. it was a love song and it described you perfectly.

jake was such a romantic and you loved it. you knew you’d have to do something special tonight.

pulling you out of your memories, the lock on the front door clicked. he walked in, a sight for sore eyes, carrying his guitar case. he wore a black buttoned shirt, sleeves rolled to his forearm, with half the buttons undone to reveal his tan chest, and sleek black slacks and shoes. his signature silver medallions dangled as he put down his case.

he looked up and smiled at you. jake knew you too well. he knew by the look on your face, which you were trying to hide, that you had something planned for him.

“hey baby”, he said as he swayed over to you.

“hey yourself”, you replied, looking him up and down.

he tilted your chin up and leaned in to place a soft kiss to your smiling lips. his arms slipped around you and pulled you in close to his warm body.

you sighed into him, instantly comfortable. he pulled away to see you looking up at him, smiling.

“what’s that look for, hm?”

“I guess you’ll have to go and figure it out…”, you teased.

he backed away, his eyebrows furrowed at the challenge. he smiled slyly, dipped, and picked you up over his shoulder like you weighed nothing.

“jake!”, you squealed.

he giggled, walking towards the stairs.

“you’re ridiculous”, you laughed.

“you’re ridiculous to think I wouldn’t want to be all over you. i’ve been away from you how many hours now?”, he huffs, “too long.”

he reaches the top of the stairs and places you back down.

“now, where’s my prize?”, he joked.

you roll your eyes at him,

“you’re gonna have to look a little bit. it’s part of the fun.”

he smiles and looks around the hallway, ducking his head into different rooms.

“cold.”, you say playfully.

your eyes lock, and he suspiciously creeps further down the hallway.

“warmer”, you tempt.

you can see the lightbulb go off in his head. he turns and rushes to your bedroom, looking around.

“warmer”, you dared.

he was catching on. jake always loves your little games, and you love seeing his eyes light up with excitement.

he grinned knowingly, walked slowly to the bathroom door, and pushed it open.

the amber ambiance lighting flooded his face as he walked in, mouth open in surprise. you followed him in, taking in his joy.

“red hot.”

he took in your work with care, noticing every detail. you could tell he loved it, his eyes darting around the room.

suddenly he turned to face you, pinning you against the counter, and immediately went in for another kiss, this time deeper.

“such a long day, you knew I needed this didn’t you?”, he muttered between kisses.

“I guess I just knew”, you giggled.

he kept kissing you, getting needier every time. his hands slowly caressed your curves, and slid in between your legs. you gasped, his fingers working over your clothed core.

“bedroom. now.”, you breathed.

he bent, grabbing your ass, snd lifted you up. your legs wrapped around him as you kissed and he slowly walked towards the door.

sitting on the edge of your bed, he ran his hands up your back, grabbing your hair and tugging firmly. your head fell back and he started kissing your neck sloppily, sucking under your jaw. his hands moved back down to grip your ass, his right lifting up and slamming back down.

“jake, please”, you moaned.

his erection was prominent, creating a delicious outline in his slacks. you grinded on him, slowly.

“fuck, I need you”, he groaned, his eyes drooped in lust.

twisting to lay you down flat on the bed, he grabbed at your leggings, pulling them and your underwear down and off. you swiftly pulled your shirt off and threw it on the ground, displaying your tits for him.

“fuck”, he sighed.

his jaw dropped to an ‘o’ shape as he dipped to suck them into his mouth. the feeling just made you more needy, squirming beneath him.

he looked up, grinning like a devil, as he lowered himself to your pussy.

he starts slowly, with a few soft licks, making you whimper. then in a matter of minutes, he’s eating you like a man starved. lewd sounds fill the room as he relentlessly sucks on you.

you tangle your fingers in his hair, holding on tight as he pulls you closer with his arms locked around your thighs. your high creeps up on you and he refuses to slow down.

“jake- fuck.”, you gasp.

“give it to me”, he rasps. “be a good fucking girl and cum for me.”

you crash hard, with a loud moan followed by silence as your mouth hangs open. he slowly works you through it, slowing down until you relax.

he rose back to your face, giving you a sweet kiss. you deepen it, needing more, and grab his shirt to pull him closer.

“I can’t fucking take it anymore.”, he grunts.

he flips you over, so you’re propped on your hands and knees. you hear his belt unbuckling from behind you and feel yourself getting wetter from the dominance he exudes.

pushing his slacks just low enough to free himself, he gathered some of your slick on his hand and jerked it over his dick. you felt his tip at your entrance, asking for permission.

“please, jake”, you begged.

without further warning, he entered you fully and grunted in satisfaction.

sighs filled the room as he started slow, pushing in and out, making you feel every inch. he began to build the speed, receiving deeper moans from both of you. his eyes took you in, as his hands squeezed your ass, admiring the view. one hand traveled to your hair, grabbing it roughly, while the other gripped your hip to hold you in place.

“that’s it, baby. take all of me.”, he panted.

you were getting closer by the second, the head of his dick hitting your walls just right. his thrusts were getting harder and faster, drilling into you.

“jake -oh- i’m gonna cum”, you pleaded.

“fucking beg for it. tell me how much you want it.”

“please, fuck, please jake can I cum? i’m such a good girl, please let me cum. please please please?”, you squeaked, you could hardly take it anymore.

the hand in your hair returned between your legs, letting his thumb trace circles on your clit.

“show me baby, cum for me.”

you gasped as your orgasm washed over you. you shook, arms giving out. you held the pillow underneath you, letting your fingernails dig into it, and taking in the smell of his cologne lingering on it.

“that’s it. so fucking good.”, he praised.

he was on the edge, but seeing your face turn to look back at him, sultry and fucked out, was too much for him.

he shuddered, releasing inside you with a whisper of your name.

you both stilled and came down, and things seeming to move in slow motion.

he turned you over gently, placing your head upright on the pillow, as he softly kissed your forehead and left to the bathroom. you closed your eyes, basking in the warmth of the sheets and the post-orgasm haze.

you heard water draining and then running again, creating steam you could see floating from the door.

jake returned to the bed, small smile on his face. he gathered your legs in one arm and your back in the other, lifting you up and carrying you to the bathroom.

he placed you down in the bathtub, the hot water soothing your sore body.

“I had to rerun it. the water went cold while we were… distracted.”, he grinned.

you giggled, his sweet personality making you swoon. he started undressing, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and pulling off his pants. he joined you in the water, enjoying your company.

“I loved this surprise, baby.”, he said, genuinely.

“i’m glad”, you blushed, “I love you.”

“I love you more.”, he promised, then added, “sooooo, same time tomorrow?”

• • •

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

[zeb-z]

leo leaving foolish a sign like all the others, leaving the most concrete out of all the messages, but no one comments on it. foolish, dead quiet after asking for a direct translation, as the others come in, take note of the sign, and then continue on to other topics. forever coming up, asking if this is anything new or “just another sign”. baghera and fit, the only ones asking if he’s okay, and he just brushes it off, because of course he would, it’s foolish, and it’s easy even though it’s entirely unconvincing and obviously a lie, because everyone else is talking over them anyway. etoiles not even checking in, just pulling him aside to accuse him of federation bullshit. everyone proceeding to talk about crimes in his tower, sitting right on the concrete trail. mouse in the cappy place, saying foolish doesn’t even care about leo, he doesn’t care that she’s gone, and foolish goes quiet for a full minute, until he can find some joke to latch onto and start deflecting again. I can’t take it anymore I’m at my limit.

did anyone other than foolish know the significance of the amethyst, and take note, like they did with the other eggs and their left behind items? or was it just him, alone later on, repeating always juntos to himself as he looks at the message again.

[kitnightowl]

POV: you are in both of these fandoms and you’re about to have an interesting weekend

[starscelly]

Introducing up and coming punk band from Dallas: The Flying Stars !

[somebluemelodies]

there’s something so incredible and satisfying about ElQuackity’s whole “vengeance day” thing and then it was q!Cellbit who pressed a button to explode ElQuackity, taking his first presidential life just like ElQuackity’s party explosion had a hand in q!Cellbit losing his first life

god i love this server so much THE DEPTH THE COMPLEXITIES EVERYTHING

[tiredtaffy]

obsessed with him. i’ll explain why i make him like this under the read more. this WILL be long so uh get ready for that. there WILL BE SPOILERS FOR KITTEN BURST UNDER. if you aren’t okay with that do not click.

okay so i have a lot of thoughts about kitten burst (it is a good game go play it NOW if you haven’t >:D) but my friends @buginyourcomputer and @larachnae watched me stream it and when hugo came up i voiced him like i did most of the others.

however during his speech i made him such a soggy, pathetic man. voice cracking as he mentions how he’s learning perspective transitions and asking m0lly how many peopled liked his speech and asking how many views he has, near tears. just a complete and utter clown. we thought the bit was fucking hilarious so we continued with it but. the sogginess seems to be supported by his character.

look at these lines and TELL ME that DOESN’T radiate sogginess.

hugo has more lines that are like pathetic as fuck but i’m not willing to go through the whole thing again to get the screenshots. he’s so beloved to me though. whines at you that he’ll kick you if you disrespect his dogecoin (i mean hapicoin) again. he’s being an awful person in the time you see him but in the ending where you merge the planes he changes for the better. he can BE a good person and i wish we could see that side of him. the bitterness he must have felt the whole time, the same way del and eclips and 0rator and literally EVERYONE felt, and causing the most damage must have led to such guilt. not knowing where hapi is, the cat that changed his and everyone else’s lives, never being able to truly apologize. trying to reconnect with all of shiver or at least canonically s4br afterwards. he extended his reach and felt sorry enough that s4br of all people believed he changed. i think of him a lot outside of my “haha soggy. sogged up cryptobro. with your stupid fucking segway.” jokes. all that said here is soggy wet cat hugo.

[averyiconthequeen]

averyjameson: safe place

Might throw my phone away and go into hiding after posting this.

Jameson took a deep breath and closed his eyes. In this moment, everything felt too good, too peaceful.

There's a whole ocean in front of him, and a small house nearby that used to belong to his grandfather. He'd only been here once, when he was 10. Zara had brought him and his brothers here for a couple days to take their minds off the fact that Skye was gone again.

She did her best and he remembered the place as an island of serenity. He would always remember those couple of days on the beach with blankets, homemade lemonade, and stories around the campfire shared by his aunt.

No expectations, no competition. Just him, his brothers, and his aunt, whom he wished he appreciated much more.

Opening his eyes, Jameson looked at the sight in front of him. This place was breathtaking. The vast sea with its shimmering waves, the white sand that looked just like snow, light breeze gently caressing his face— all this atmosphere made it the perfect place for solitude.

But Jameson didn't want to be here alone. All he truly wanted was to share this place with someone who effortlessly takes his breath away every moment of his existence.

That someone was right beside him and he could swear that was all he'd ever needed. With her back leaning against his torso, Avery sat between his legs and watched the sunrise. Red-pink sky left beautiful hues on the water, and she just couldn't take her eyes off of it.

But the most beautiful view for him was her.

They have been here for a few days now and it was Jameson's idea to get away from everything and everyone for at least a couple days.

It's funny, because Jameson Winchester Hawthorne never runs from anything. But Avery hadn't been herself these past few weeks, and nothing was more important to him than getting this beautiful and sincere smile on her face again.

The final straw was when he found her in their room curled up in a bed and silently crying.

“Heiress, talk to me,” he lay down next to her and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “Come on, baby, Tahiti.”

“It’s all just too much,” was all she said, letting him wrap his arms around her waist.

The truth is that even when you try to ignore comments on the internet, you will still pay attention to them. People won't shut up, they’ll keep pushing and making nasty comments about everything. Of course, they’ll do it after reposting a hundred of quotes on their pages about how the world is cruel and unfair and people need to be kinder to each other. They are hypocrites and like to hurt others and who knows their ugly reasons.

Of course, Avery could get used to it, but what the fuck? Why?

“She’s so phony, how do the Hawthornes put up with her?”

“Jameson looks like he doesn’t even wanna be here. They’re def faking it.”

“God save this man from this bitch, he doesn’t even love her”

She was getting very upset by these remarks, and Jameson was getting really pissed off by them.

He'd always wondered, how could anyone hate someone like Avery? She's the most generous, caring and precious person he's ever met. These people just have no right to say that shit about her.

Jameson hated seeing her in this state. So, he held her all night, whispering sweet nothings, stroking her hair. He thought about how he would do anything to take away her pain. He just wanted to protect her from it.

That's why they ended up here, why he insisted on taking a break from everything.

When they'd arrived a couple days ago, he'd made it a rule not to use phones, laptops, or anything to do with the Internet. Avery was too emotionally drained to complain, and neither did she want to. By the way, who needs a phone when you have Jameson Hawthorne around? When it came to distractions, this man knew everything and did everything. For Avery, however, it wasn't just a distraction, it was a safe place. Jameson was her safe place.

She leaned her head against his shoulder, watching the sun rise. Avery knew this moment wouldn't have been so special if it hadn't been for the man beside her. And she was grateful for all the moments they shared here.

When your head feels like spinning and it's getting unbearable, this is what you really need.

Peace.

So she was just enjoying and memorizing every second of this moment. The sky, the sound of the waves, the air. His touch.

His fingers traced the mark on her collarbone left the night before, noticing the way her breath hitched at the contact.

“Alright, Heiress?” he asked, and she really wanted to wipe that smug smile off his face. Or maybe she didn’t.

God, she loved him. All he did was make sure she was happy and safe in mind and body. Although there were times when she didn't think of him as a protective boyfriend, she realized that in fact, he was one. And each time he succeeded, for a small amount of time, but he did. For now, she wasn't thinking about those disgusting comments about her and their relationship. All she had on her mind was the beautiful view in front of her and Jameson's kisses.

“I love you,” she smiled, thinking of it all.

“And I love you and this pretty smile of yours.”

They were so right for each other. They both knew it. Today, tomorrow, they’re it for each other. A safe place.