#i’ve got the drawing tablet i should just start doing it

[lifeisablackhole9]

i really need to practice my art again

there’s a lot of things i want to make, but i can’t make them look good until i make them look bad

[fingertipsmp3]

Not to be all ‘I know better than a medical professional’ or anything, but I do think the people at Mabel’s vet are kind of useless

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @velinxi​

Hello! I’m Xiao Tong Kong, better known as “Velinxi.” I’m the creator of the webcomic Countdown to Countdown and have been doing freelance artwork since I was a teenager. I love telling stories with my illustrations! Tumblr was where I first got my start as an artist, specifically a small fandom artist as a hobby… and now I’m somehow here! When I’m not trying my best to stay awake in front of my tablets, I’m usually cooking, gaming, or sleeping. Sometimes all three, in my dreams.

Check out our interview with Velinxi below!

Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?

Yeah! I’ve basically been on track to become an artist since I was a child. I went to a middle school with an emphasis on arts and a high school specializing in it. I went to SVA briefly for computer arts but dropped out to pursue freelance and webcomics after my first year.

Over the years as an artist, what or who were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?

My biggest inspirations growing up were Yuumei and Shilin Huang, two titans on DeviantArt back in the day. They still inspire me today, but the list of inspirations has grown exponentially over the years, including artists, movies, entire art movements, etc.

What was your thought process behind the creation of your webcomic, Countdown to Countdown?

Well, Countdown to Countdown started as a passion project back when I was 15, in high school, and pretty depressed. I just wanted to draw whatever story I thought was cool, inspired by my favorite media at the time. There was a very loose beginning and outline, but I was truly just writing as I drew the story. That’s why I had to stop the comic in 2018 and restart from scratch the year after. Now, the story has a set story and a clear outline. It still has similar roots, characters, and themes of neglect, abuse, and escape—but I think the story is a lot easier to follow now. It’s got an artstyle I can actually keep up with in the long run. The origin of why CTC exists also remains the same: I simply wanted to make a story I wanted to read for myself. Which happens to be about two dumb boys with superpowers navigating a hostile world that wants them dead or caged—together.

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Oh, all the time. It’s part of the process. Personally, though—I just have to draw through it. Every month on my Patreon, I have my patrons vote on a theme I have to draw by the end of the month, and I try my best to make it as interesting as possible. I draw quite a few—tens even, of doodles or compositions for each of these themes to try to make something that tells a story while still being aesthetically pleasing and clear. I think pushing myself like this helps with art block, really. I also do remember to take breaks and simply consume other media I like! It gets the inspiration juices flowing.

Advice you would give to an aspiring creator?

If you do one—your first webcomic should be a short, fun, messy thing. It’s not often you can get it right the first time, but you’ll certainly learn a lot through sheer experience. This goes for a lot of things in art, to be honest.

What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

3D Animation. I briefly learned it at SVA, and I think that’s enough of that tech for me. I accept that there are some things that are truly beautiful if done right, and I am too simple and lazy for it.

What is your goal for the rest of this year?

Get Countdown to Countdown book 2 finished! And live HAHA

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@yuumei-art on Tumblr, still! They’ve been a huge inspiration for digital artists and storytellers online for years. I have no doubt that many digital artists of my generation have been influenced by them, and they’re still here, making beautiful art and stories. It’s a thing to behold.

Thanks for stopping by, Velinxi! If you haven’t seen her Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here. You can also follow her for more amazing art over at her Tumblr, @velinxi!

[dross-the-fish]

Note: I got my tablet working briefly and was able to finish the lines before it crapped out again. Testing out a potential comic format to go with the drabbles. Don't know if it's going to be a regular thing but I thought I'd see how everyone feels about it. Adam’s Naming

The Creature sat in a chair that was uncomfortably small for him, his knees bent so that they nearly folded into his stomach. He watched anxiously as Watson pulled out his grooming kit and a pair of scissors.

“That mess of hair has to go, I’m amazed you don’t have lice,” the Doctor wrinkled his mustache as he methodically laid out his tools and began to separate the strands of black hair, first with his fingers to break apart the larger tangles without pulling then with a wide toothed comb.

The Creature, unaccustomed to being touched so casually, fought the urge to squirm away, “Parasites seem to find my blood unappetizing, I’ve never had to suffer their infestations on my person. A small mercy, I suppose,” he said.

“Be that as it may, I should hope that now that you are among people, you’ll be diligent with your hygiene,” Watson replied, grimacing as he picked up his scissors and snipped away the first oily lock, watching it pool on the ground in a snaky curl.

“I never anticipated that I would be among people. It is a foreign thing to be concerned with my appearance outside of hiding it from sight.”

“Have you really never had a friend?” Watson asked.

“No, never. The closest thing I had was a mere moment, I spoke once with an old blind man and he treated me kindly before his family drove me away,” the Creature fell silent, drawing up the memory of DeLacy’s smile and the gentle reassurance he’d given him.

“Do not despair. To be friendless is indeed to be unfortunate, but the hearts of men, when unprejudiced by any obvious self-interest, are full of brotherly love and charity”

It had been a lie, of course, but in the fleeting instance he had believed it, it had been so very beautiful to hear. Despite himself, the Creature had been unable to completely give up on wishing it could be true.

“What the old man gave me was no more than a crumb, but it was every sliver of hope I ever carried in my life and even now, after 100 years, I hold it in my breast and let it nourish me for want of richer food,” he confided quietly.

The scissors paused and Watson rested his hand on the Creature’s head, “Well, we’ll have to do better than that, won’t we? Seems to me a man ought to live off of more than crumbs. Let’s start by giving you a proper name, shall we?” he suggested kindly.

The Creature froze, his vision blurred and he could feel himself begin to tremble. This was not real, it couldn’t be real, no one who looked upon him and knew what he had done could offer him true kindness, much less give him a name. Victor had made him, had labored for months to bring him into existence and couldn’t bring himself to give him that! It was impossible! He refused to believe this doctor, a stranger to him, could give him that so easily. It was mockery, or a trick. It had to be. With a roar he shot out of the chair, sending it toppling, and turned to face Watson, incensed further when the old man didn’t flinch.

“Call me demon! Call me monster, or devil, or abomination! You know well that I have worn them all and each title has been fitting,” he hissed, lowering his head so that he was an inch from Watson’s face and the doctor would have no choice but to truly look at him. At his ravaged cheeks and the chunk of skin missing from the end of his nose. His torn, black lips distorted into a hideous snarl as he attempted to goad the doctor into screaming or attacking. I’ll kill you, he thought, show me you’re just like everyone else and I’ll kill you…

“Stop that this instant!” Watson snapped firmly as he righted the toppled chair, “Such carrying on, really. If you’re a monster or a devil now it’s because you choose to be. I’ll not entertain such utter nonsense. Now, you have a choice, you can sit in this chair, let me cut your hair and we’ll pick out a name for you or you can leave. I don’t care where you go but I have no patience for tantrums. If you want to stay with us you had better get a lid on that temper this very minute!” he tapped the back of the chair expectantly, never once breaking the Frankenstein monster’s gaze.

The Creature deflated, caught off guard and chastened like a child scolded by a stern parent. He sank back into the chair and folded his hands in his lap, the very picture of contrition. Watson softened and resumed his cutting.

“As I recall,” he said as he settled into a rhythm, the quiet snip of the scissors soothing his nerves, “You said to Victor that you ought to have been his Adam. Adam is a fine name; a good, strong, name and I think it suits you. How would like to be called Adam?”

Silence. A shuddering gasp, then in a small trembling voice, “I would like that very much…”

Watson leaned forward and gave Adam’s cheek a pat, not flinching at the exposed muscle under the ridge of his cheekbone but moved to pity by the wetness trickling down it, "Whatever you were, whatever you've done, put it behind you now. This is your new start, your second chance. Don't squander it, Adam."

[steve0discusses]

Ep 45 Part 2: I, Again, Did Not Expect Ryou

The revolving door of characters wandering into this boss arena continues, and this time it’s Pharaoh who is trying to catch up to the plot with the dead woman on the ground, the giant tablet to the side, and Seto who is cackling to himself in a corner.

And Seto does a big ol laugh and it’s been a while since we got a villainous laugh out of Seto. Been a LONG TIME. Probably felt great for this voice actor to go back to his roots.

(read more under the cut)

Y’all.

It’s been a while I’ve been doing this blog, right? And I take it slow, especially right now with chronic fatigue stuff, but MAN I really thought we’d be dueling SETO. Not Aknadin in a Seto Bean! That’s a different guy!

Yugioh! That’s a completely different guy!

And there’s time for the big showdown between Pharaoh and Seto to actually happen. But trying to write it so we no longer develop this rivalry between Seto and Pharaoh feels like...they had to do that because Seto became a friend maybe kind of unintentionally.

It still works, they haven’t lied to us, I just...I have mixed feelings about it.

Mimicking Blue Eyes in Season 1 and Season Zero, this dragon will not work for you if you are not Seto Kaiba. Or Yugi. She’ll sometimes allow Yugi to play her in his deck. But definately not Seto Imposters. And like that, Aknadin is dead by his own hubris.

Hubris be killing a lot of billionaires lately, amiright? Yugioh just leaning into my love of killing billionaire gentry with hubris.

This romantic moment somewhat ruined by the animation team refusing to draw fingers and always keeping everyone’s hands clenched like they’re gonna furiously poop.

Yami watches as Seto recreates the vision that Kaiba had seen several years prior on the blimp. And Yami I’m sure felt entirely 3rd wheel. But he’s used that. He lives in Yugi’s bean. He probably thinks 3rd wheel is normal and how everyone feels all the time.

And then THIS HAPPENS.

Seto decides he’s had enough of watching behind a pillar, and now that everyone is dead and sobbing he should go out and harass Yugi. Youknow, at this funeral. The funeral of his beloved from like a previous life or whatever. Seto is kind over it and for once he is the one that needs a ride home.

And he’s like “hey so...I noticed that guy looks like me”

And then, when you think “well I guess Seto joins the party?” they just start screaming at eachother, within earshot of Seto, within earshot of the dead dragon card, within the earshot of like the entire world.

Remember that no one can actually see Seto but Pharaoh, which makes it even more funny.

Bakura segue’s us back to Yugi and his cursed friends, where he’s trying his best to explain the logic of cursing your classmates with dark magic so you can go on playdates.

The idea that you go through all the trouble to curse people into liking you, but the puzzle itself is made of dark magic, so it finds the most terrifying people to make your friend, is funny to me although it is completely my headcanon.

Anyway, get ready for the still my computer caught for this next one.

(it’s “surprise” but eh I don’t feel like fixing it at this point.)

It DOES look like Tristan is doing a weird cross punch, he’s actually tossing both of them and his hands over extended to the other side, which is a thing we do in animation, we go past the point you intend to go so it looks more fluid--but it does make the tweens funny.

The floor gives way and creates scales made out of the eyes.

Will Yugi leap from his scale and send his friends to purple doom, or will he find Pharaoh’s name and save the world?

which like, wouldn’t be a good episode of Yugioh unless multiple people were asking to die, and Joey nailed it in the most Brooklyn way this Japanese boy knows how.

And so Bakura was like “never mind.” which I guess was an option in the footnotes that only he could read.

Not shown is a hard to cap animation where Yugi leapt from his edge of the scales and just clung to Joey’s waist and Joey was like “gotta hang on to your friends, right Yuge?” And Yugi was like “Does that mean you forgive me already? Or are you being sarcastic right now?”

Inside of the room is this.

I LOVE the outline tool in photoshop. Good stuff. I LOVE it. and so does this animation team. Outlined the HELL out of those birds.

They leave the name zone room, with no idea at all how to say Pharaoh’s name. Where, they ran straight into Tristan and decided enough was enough, it’s time to have a chat. Because no, they haven’t figured it out.

You may be asking “so where did Tristan go?”

I DON’T KNOW.

He’s probably not fine. But um. No idea where Tristan went.

Also, guess who we haven’t seen in like 20 episodes since Seto stepped over his prone body on the steps?

Ryou! Little Ryou is back!

This guy who we...thought was a good guy? Anyway he’s off to literally kill Yugi, just like he’s want to do.

Straight up...I can’t fully predict Ryou, mostly because we rarely ever see the kid, but damn, he sure did wake up just ready to do a murder today, didn’t he?

And yes, this does mean that Ryou was pretending to be Bakura pretending to be Tristan, just so we the audience could get a fun triple reveal in this episode.

For some damn reason Ryou brought a duel disk to ancient Egypt. So we WILL get actual proper cards. And by proper cards, I mean Yugioh TV show cards, which line up not at all with the actual card game. Can’t wait to spell FINAL and then die.

Anyway, here’s the link to read these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

We are quickly running out of people in this season to kill, but we still got a few of Pharoah’s ancient friends left, and as for who dies next episode? My bet is on...Isis. Sorry Isis, I know you got a cool hat and you’re the token girl but, she’s super dead next right?

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I’m enjoying playing with my dolls again, but I’m so exhausted lately that even though I’m very excited to completely overhaul my doll characters and make them into entirely different dolls, I keep losing steam mid-way.

I have both mental and chronic physical illness and all of my conditions cause extreme fatigue and I’m currently on a vacation from work because of burnout, but it’s so frustrating to want to work on my dolls and I only have a little bit of energy for my whole day. Plus my executive dysfunction has been particularly bad lately.

I just want to wipe the faceup of one of my dolls and repaint it, but I already wiped another doll a couple days ago and just never had the spoons to put a face back on her, so I know I shouldn’t just wipe another doll because I feel so bad for my babies to have blank faces, but I really want to connect with this new character and I can’t with the old faceup. I have no rush for anything right now, but I hate not being able to just start a project even if it’s not as labor intensive as removing a faceup like working on my digital art hobby.

I hate being exhausted. Anyway, wish me luck! At least if I can wipe his faceup then I can draw a mockup of the face on my tablet. I’ve wanted to do that for days, but I never took a blank photo of the sculpt when I got him and it seems like one literally doesn’t exist on the internet except in profile, so I haven’t been able to just grab a pic off the internet which is what I usually do if I don’t have the spoons for wiping a faceup.

Side note: why does wiping the faceup have to be so much work? I use brush on varnish to seal with because I don’t like the risks of spray-on and I find that the brush on stuff is way more durable, but jeez is it hard to scrub off. I use 91% alcohol and soap and water exclusively because it’s affordable and accessible for me and it’s not really harmful to inhale and it definitely works but it still takes like 2 or 3 rounds of scrubbing depending on how aggressively I sealed the head and it really beats tf out of my hands. I’m tired just thinking about it, but I should just get up and do it and then it’ll be done.

~Anonymous

[thatskindarough]

Oh it was only 3 actually, counting that one animatic on YouTube (that BTW i had no idea was yours! I was pleasantly surprised <3)

And I found it so funny that you have somewhat an idea of who I might be PFFF you can throw the guess, it would be funny if you get it right (don't have to say my name if you don't remember it, you can just go for something you remember NFKDSJ)

also time for an actual question since i'm already here, what program did you used for the animatic? I've always wanted to get into animating but most softwares cost money or are free but really bad so I could use some recommendations 👀

Good to hear there is no imposter lol. I should probably start using the false pfp so people know it’s me but I’m too lazy to change them all 💀 also my guess was right as to who you were but probably mainly because I put on my Aziraphale detective hat and you were the last notification before the ask inbox notification and your icon had a red beanie. We meet once again.

As for the animatic I used procreate for drawing and capecut for composting. Not the most efficient method but I liked it. I ended up segmenting off each camera angle into a different canvas and making any animation for the shot that way. I love capecut because the free version has every editing function you need for an animatic and the watermark only appears as a black screen at the end so it’s so easy to crop out. It’s probably the best free editing software I’ve found. (I also used a screen recording device to record the audio cause even if you buy a song it sometimes doesn’t allow you to put it in the program.)

I honestly recommend procreate if you have a device that supports it. I think it’s still only a 10 dollar onetime purchase. But if you don’t have a device that supports it, I have used things like flip a clip which is free, and the paid version is pretty cheap. I have also dabbled in an app called rough animate, also free (you don’t have to pay for the onion skins) which was also okay. I got frustrated cause of the lack of brush choice but other than that it’s not bad at all. If you can’t pay anything at all I’d recommend this because, unlike flip a clip, you don’t have to pay to unlock the a lot of the really helpful features. Ibis paint also added an animation feature I think so that’s an option. Idk if you need the paid version for it, but I remember only having to watch ads for a minute to unlock all the brushes so maybe it’s the same for the animation feature lol.

If you have a computer set up, I’ve also heard nice things about Krita for animation. It’s free and from what I remember it had a really good timeline set up. I actually tried to use it, but my computer at the time was old and slow and it lagged to much, and then I had a shitty no screen tablet and my hand eye coordination when it came to drawing and writing is quite bad, so it just wasn’t a good set up for me personally. But I know people make it work. I mean, people make this kinda shit in MS paint, if you’re dedicated enough you can technically do it in almost any program (though you may not be able to make it as polished as you’d like.)

Then there is Clip Studio Paint, which does cost money but is way less expensive than like, harmony or adobe. The EX version which gives you a second of free animation per project is a $5 monthly subscription for once device, PC MaC IOS, and the Pro version (which is more expensive) gives you unlimited animation animation access for I believe around 10 -15 dollars a month (still less than most streaming services lol). There’s also a one time purchase version that is $50 dollars, but it goes on sale A LOT for $25! Although I don’t think it gives you more than a second of animation. CSP also has a very long free trial period, for EX it was legit like 3 months. so if you try it out and like it, I’d definitely suggest finding a way to pay for it. It’s actually used in some professional studios in Japan, so if you have any professional aims for your work it’s a good starting platform to get into industry software. However a lot of the nice things CSP offers for animation are not needed in the story boarding/animatic stage, so if that’s as far as you wanna take your animations it maaaaaaay not be worth it unless you love it.

If anyone else has other cheap or free recommendations feel free to add on. I have attempted to make animatics on procreate, rough animate, and flip a clip; all of which I have uncompleted projects on. It just so happens that procreate is what I was using when I finally made an animatic I liked enough to see until completion. Whatever software you do use, just make sure you learn how to use it before attempting a big project. Do some smaller stuff before you try anything big.

Edit to check the comments! We got other good recommendations for computers!

[darkhangels]

2. this night of ritual

enjoy the silence masterlist 

morpheus x f!reader

warnings: swearing

words: 3399

A raven

A sacrifice

A death

Waking up panting ,you clutched at your chest desperately heaving to get your breathing back to any kind of normal rate. Wiping the tears from your cheeks you let out a frustrated sigh.

You were tired, so very tired. 

Something had to be done.

With a new found sense of resolve you stepped out of bed and almost instantly a piercing, unbearable pain washed through your head. Oh yeah, that's one of the new side effects of these nightmares by the way. 

Cradling your head with the palm of your hand you practically stumbled to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen, surprised to find Lorna sat by the wooden table with a glass of orange juice.

“Hey, this is a surprise” You muttered trying your hardest to smile through the headache sent directly from hell itself.

Lorna took a swig of orange juice before replying “Good morning, should I even bother asking if you had the nightmare anymore?”

Popping the paracetamol out of the packets and into your hands, you let out a snort. “Yeah, probably for the best to not ask” Grabbing a glass and placing it under the running tap water, you harshly swallowed the tablets and guzzled down the water before turning back to your friend with a quizzical and suspicious look on your face. “It's your day off, shouldn't you be sound asleep with your girlfriend right now?” Placing the glass down and wiping your mouth you muttered to yourself “Or doing other things?”

Lorna scowled “I heard that!”

You smiled cheekily to yourself before Lorna continued. “I figured I’d start packing today, while you were at work”  

“Oh” That crushing weight of loneliness descended on you yet again. “Yeah, of course, that makes sense” You nodded, trying to not let the disappointment be shown.

“I’ll be gone by the time you get back though, going out for dinner with Veronica” She beamed.

“Ooh la la!” You purred, teasing Lorna.

“Shut up!” She giggled.

“Shit. I gotta get ready for work” You grumbled looking at the time before speedily heading towards your bedroom to get dressed for the day.

-------------------------

It was a cold morning as October started to draw to a close so you were more than happy to be greeted by the warmth of the coffee shop. 

You heard your name being called and instantly turned to the direction of the voice only to be greeted by Corey. 

Great.

Corey was another one of your co-workers and a friend of yours, well more like acquaintance or ex. There was a relationship there once upon a time (once upon a time was seven months ago)  but well it didn't work out. Corey wasn't your type and you weren't his, it seemed like the relationship was formed more out of convenience than anything else. 

At least that's the story you told most people, your honest story? Corey didn’t want you, he wanted a girlfriend not an actual person. His ego took up too much space not leaving you any to just be you, not a showpony, not a performance or an idea of what a girlfriend should be.

After three months together you had to put your foot down. Which went down so well as you can imagine. Corey got over it in like a month though and started to pretend the breakup was mutual and on good terms, to protect himself from embarrassment or maybe he truly believed that's how it ended?

Still despite it all, you put on a polite smile and made small talk with him. 

“Hey Corey”

“Fucking freezing out there huh?” He said, watching you with a deep gaze.

You shivered putting on your work apron “Yeah winter is for sure on its way” You awkwardly chuckled.

“I’ve got my hoodie in the back if you wanna wear it, yknow” Corey suggested watching you shiver.

You looked down and licked your lips “I’m alright, thanks though Corey” offering him a smile. 

He nodded curtly and went back to the customers. You breathed through your nose in relief he didn't push any further. He was just being gentlemanly, that's all. 

--------------------------

The day dragged on as it always does when your shifts are with Corey. After plenty of conversations the main subject of course being him. You were thankful when 17.00pm finally rolled around and you could finally go to the bookstore. 

On the street you worked there was a large, ancient bookstore crammed to the edges of books, new and old (mostly old). You didn’t visit too often but you had a purpose today. You were going to get rid of those nightmares one way or another and if anywhere in town would have the answers, it'd be this place.

The walk there was about three minutes, fairly straightforward, only one dodgy alleyway to cross and you're practically there. The sound of your ringtone made you jump out of your skin as you swore under your breath reaching inside your coat pockets to pick up the phone. Studying the phone screen you saw it was no other than your mum. Bracing yourself with a breath you answered the phone.

“Hey mum, what's up!” You said cringing at the forced enthusiasm that left your own mouth.

“Sweetheart! Hey I hope you’re good. I wanted to wait until we could meet up to tell you but I just couldn’t wait!”  A voice excitedly said through the phone.

You snorted a bit. “Ok what is it?” You continued to walk down the street now bustling with people leaving their offices and traveling back to their respectful homes . 

“I’m getting remarried!”

Oh.

Uh oh.

“Darling, did you hear what I said?”

“Oh yeah, yeah congratulations mum. I’m so happy for you! Uhhh when did this happen?” You said frantically trying to find any inkling of any kind of excitement.

“Well, Mark took me out last night and we were at this moonlit dinner and he hid the ring in my food and I almost choked on it, but still!”

“Romantic!” You agreed, trying your hardest to sound convinced at what you were saying. “So when is the wedding?”

“December! We haven't got an exact date yet but we both wanted a winter and festive wedding”

“December?” You stuttered. “Mum, that's so quick that’s like under 2 months away”

“I know, but it won’t be too hard for us though, not many people get married in December so we shouldn’t have any scheduling conflicts”

You sighed before rubbing your forehead “I am really happy for you Mom”

Your mom's voice sung through the phone “Awe thank you dear, Of course you're also going to be one of the bridesmaids along with Marks daughters”

Shit. 

“That's great!” You cheered in an overly shrill voice.

“Oh and Marks friend has a young single son around your age who will be at the wedding in case you were interested, if you get what I'm saying ”

You rolled your eyes as far as they could. “Mum” 

“Just think about it!” She added. You reluctantly agreed as you bit on your lip and shook your head in disbelief.

“Look darling, I've got to go, but I'll keep in touch about the details!”

“Alright, mom, Congratulations” You said again trying desperately to sell your fraud happiness.

“Thank you, Bye!”

“See ya” 

You hung up and resisted the urge to throw your phone across the street. Great and in case you needed anything else to worry about you had a family wedding coming up. 

No one likes family weddings and it's not as if your family was the worst by any means they were just…mean, sometimes.

Between your mother always trying to set you up with someone despite your disinterest, the invalidation of your feelings and the general talking down. It made you livid, like at any second you were about to break and it would all come flowing out as everyone stared in horror.

Blinking back tears of frustration and setting it out of your mind, as you always do, you looked up at the shop in front of you and focused on the matter at hand.

The warmth from the lights within the store glowed in the darkened autumn evening. Creating a gentle auburn aura cascading through the windows and door of the shop. 

Gently opening the door, the bell above chimed notifying the old man perched at the till of your presence. The man had a kind face sprinkled with wrinkles and flecks of grey hair. "Good evening". He studied you over the top of his glasses but still beamed a friendly smile.

"Hey" You responded with a smile of your own now gracing your face. 

With a nod the man returned to marking the pile of books stacked on the counter and you quickly set off to find your destination. Your plan? Well you didn't really have a plan. Just find every book to do with sleeping. Psychological, Metaphysical, you name it. If it has to do with sleeping and dreaming, you were buying it.

In 10 minutes you had picked up 6 books. Some written by doctors, some by hippies and some by people who just fancied themselves expert's after a lifetime of sleeping and dreaming. 

As you got to the till, you set the books down with a hefty slam and looked at the kind man. "Just these please and a bag if you have one" Smiling nervously hoping he wouldn't ask any questions.

The man picked up the first book and scanned the title, he did the same with the second and third and fourth. He looked over to you with one furrowed eyebrow. "Trouble sleeping, dear?" 

You chuckled and nodded. "Something like that" 

The man considered you for a second before taking off his glasses slowly. "You know we have a book out back, extremely old and rare about sleeping, it takes more of a classical approach on the spiritual side of sleeping" He hesitated before he continued. "But if this is something you really care about and seem passionate about" He emphasized the word passionate almost as if he could smell the desperation lingering inside of you. "Then I can sell it to you for half the price"

Your eyes widened at the strangers words "You would do that?"  

"Aye" The man nodded.

You saw the kindness in his eyes and realized he was telling the truth. "No I couldn't, please that's very kind of you but I shouldn't"

"Please, my dear, We've had this book for over a decade now and quite frankly I'm not sure what to do with it but it would make me beyond happy to see it go to someone who needs it" 

You looked up at him and saw the way he studied your face, it seemed like he knew more about your struggles then the man was letting on. But you were hopeless and you were desperate. "Alright then"

He gave you a bright smile before trudging to the door behind the counter and wading through the endless stack of books. 

With a sigh you looked back at the books you had picked up and wondered, hoped and prayed they would work. But what if they didn't? What if they didn't work and you were stuck with these nightmares forever? Terror seized your heart and the dark blanket of anxiety fell upon you yet again. 

Your dreams had always been so pure, hell even your nightmares were pure compared to this new repetitive nightmare that had plagued your slumber. Never, even in your childhood, had nightmares been something normal for you.

Maybe that's why. Maybe you hadn't had enough bad dreams as a child and now they're catching up to you, in a sultry abundance. 

"Found it!" The man's voice sang, pulling you out of your own thoughts. 

Your head snapped up and watched the man put a thick hardcover book on the counter. Wordlessly you pulled it closer and studied it. 

The cover was a faded scarlet red with gold entailing crafted into the material. The front of the book had an image on top, something easy to miss if your eyesight was poor. A mask of some sort similar to that of a plague doctor in the same rich gold that gleamed in the lights above you. 

The book itself was clearly decaying. Letters started to fade and pages with several rips and bends in them. Just how old was this book? 

The keeper stored all of your books into a paper bag.

"How much do I owe you?" You smile at the man as you reach for the purse in your pocket.

"30" He responded.

"30? for all this?" your eyebrows furrowing.

"I like to throw in a discount for customers who I like," He gave a cheeky smile.

You looked at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes before sliding him 40. He went to argue but noticed the determined look on your face and instead thanked you.

Gathering the bag and putting your purse back you started to leave the shop. “Please, do tell me how you get on” The shopkeeper called and you nodded in agreement.

“Good night sir”

----------------------

Trudging through the door and setting your books down, you heated up some leftover pasta in the microwave for dinner and peeled off your work clothes into your pyjamas. Throughout the apartment you realize a few of Lorna's items are missing. Oh, right. 

Swallowing the harsh lump and pushing the thoughts to the back of your mind, you settled into the sofa in the mini living room and stuck the TV on, not really paying attention more for background noise as you ate. By the time you were finished and settled down from work it was 8pm and you anxiously threw your gaze to the books lay on top of your counter.

Was there even any point? The chances of any of these books holding the answers and cure to your torture were low. But you had nothing else to lose.

Something had to be done.

With a bold huff of air you grabbed the stack of books. And began your quest.

-------------------------

11pm. You had skimmed and scanned the books and nothing of relevance was to be found. Mantras, essential oils and Freud held no cure or secret answer. 

“You've got to be shitting me” You muttered rubbing your now heavy eyelids. There was one book left. And yet something inside you made you hesitant to open it.

The heavy book laid unopened opposite you and your eyes squinted almost trying to intimidate it, dominate it, let it know you weren't scared. 

You reached out and grabbed it, studying the flecked gold symbol on the red book. The man acted strangely when talking about the book. He said it was old but, maybe there is more to the story. In fact he actually hadn't told you a single thing about the book apart from the fact it was old. It could have all been bullshit. A prank on you just for laughs but, no, that doesn't seem right. The man seemed genuine, just eager. 

The pages of the book were yellowed and in very fine print. A lot of the passages were in Latin and some in characters you had never seen before. There was one page that had been dog tagged and you instantly turned to it. There was that sigil again. With a word written in large black ink. “Morpheus” You whispered out loud. The God of Dreams. “Sandman, right” You chuckled to yourself. 

Underneath was a ritual of invocation, presumably for this god. The ingredients seemed pretty simple in fact you only needed one thing, an offering. Popular offerings included : Sand, Poppies and feathers. 

You gulped as your mind raced back to the image of the raven's wings being ripped.

The ritual seems easy enough. Get the offering, say a couple of words, no need for blood spill or sacrificing of virgins. But still did you want to do this?

The book didn't specifically note what kind of magic this was so you doubted it was anything satanic. Though at this point you might’ve just gone along with satanic magic if it had done the trick.

So what was your plan? If this really worked, though chances are low, if it did you would ask this god of dreams to please stop the nightmares, surely he would listen. You only hoped he was a benevolent god, one that after seeing your desperation would cease the nightmares from existence. 

If it didn't work? Well you hadn't thought that far ahead yet.

Chewing on your bottom lip, you looked at the rest of the open books, all with no answers. Then your mind drifted to the gruesome images of your nightmare and your decision had been made. It had to be worth it right?

No sand. No poppies. You needed to find a feather. 

“Think, think. Where could I find a feather?” You paced up and down your apartment before looking out the window. And realization hit you. In the spring a pigeon had made a nest just outside your apartment above your window. The pigeons had left a couple of months ago, but a feather or two had to have been lurking, caught in the guttering or a cobweb.

Opening the window quickly you stretched your arm out, praying to not accidentally brush against a spider or any other kind of bug. Feeling something soft stroke your hand you grabbed it and pulled your arm back inside. 

“No fucking way” You deadpanned staring at the item in your hand. 

A black and white feather. It was skinny and withering. But it was a feather nonetheless. Feeling an outburst from your success you grabbed the feather and ran to the book.

Holding the book in one hand and the feather in your other, taking a deep breath and shaking your head, preparing and hyping yourself up to read the ancient ritual. “Here goes nothing”

“I stand here among the waking world seeking an audience with the God Of Dreams, Prince of Stories, Third child of the endless. I stand here in utter devotion and in utter desperation invoking The King Of Dreams. Speak to me now in tongues of Dreams and Nightmares alike. Let me into your realm and you into mine. Speak to me, Dream of the Endless. Speak to me, Lord Morpheus!”

Your eyes had been squirmed shut as you spoke the last line, daring to open to see what was in front of you. After a couple of seconds of painful science you peeled one eye open cautiously before opening the other. You scanned your apartment. To find nothing. Not a single thing. Everything the exact way it was before.

Disappointment crawled into your heart and you slumped on the spot you stood. Letting the book fall to the table in front of you and discarding the feather on top of it, you swore under your breath. 

You were dispirited, tired and worst of all: embarrassed. I mean did you really think something was going to happen? Had you expected a 10ft man with horns and goat feet in your living room, Pinhead asking you what your pleasure was, or maybe a genie voiced by Robin Williams about to give you three wishes?  

You tried to fight back the tears that came but what was the point. It was hopeless. One quiet sob left your throat before you turned off all the lights and crawled into bed, knowing your fate and the restless sleep you were about to have. 

You’d cry tomorrow. For now you needed to sleep.

And then, the strangest thing happened. 

There was no raven,

No sacrifice. 

No death.

When you fell into your slumber you found yourself not in the dingy dark dungeon crawling with rats but instead in a bright, ethereal cathedral? Warmth relief ebbed through your body like rays of sun. It was quiet and there were no cloaked men to be seen. It was nothing, nothing but peace. 

And the dam broke.

You fell to your knees in hysterics. You had done it. You had broken the cycle.

And the tears mixed with laughter wouldn't stop. Even if it was for one night you had finally done something right. 

“You requested an audience?”

[upthenorthmountain]

One nice thing about drawing the same character over and over is that it lets you see your progress. I feel like I’ve made a fair amount!

When I drew that first picture in September 2014 I was 32 years old. I’d always wanted to be able to draw, but just never got round to it or knew how to get started. Like a lot of people, fandom is what inspired me and gave me the push I needed. It’s the most amazing feeling to be able to draw now, to be able to get down what’s in my head, to make things I love and am proud of. I know I still have a lot to learn but that’s where the fun is!

If you’re one of those people always thinking ‘wow I wish I could draw’, here is how I did it:

I worked through the book You Can Draw in 30 Days by Mark Kistler, which a friend recommended to me (if I'd known then about the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards I'd have used that too, but I didn't. It's good though)

I filled up a couple of sketchbooks with terrible drawings, mainly figure studies from quickposes.com and bad drawings of my blorbos

Finally thought I had something good enough to post, posted it, received so much support and love that I carried on, and I honestly cannot thank all of you enough for that

Kept drawing and drawing, making myself do the things that were hard or that I thought were above my skill level (harsh truth: you will never get better at the hands if you don't draw the hands)

After a little while I thought 'I wonder if I can use my iPad as a drawing tablet', and started using the Procreate app (then about £4, now about £10 I think, still a flipping bargain), first with my finger, then with a stylus that came with my iPad case, then with a slightly better stylus I bought on eBay, then two years ago I got a better iPad and could have a Pencil which is AMAZING

I have also recently taken two Procreate courses on Domestika which taught me a lot of things about drawing in general and Procreate in particular and I should probably have sought this information out sooner! They were Atmospheric Scenes in Procreate: Paint with Color and Light by Ramona Wultschner, and Female Character Portraits in Procreate, by Natalia Dias, and I would recommend them both

And I kept drawing a whole bunch and my friends were super encouraging so I just kept going and didn't stop

I have tips! Things I've learnt along the way

If you use Procreate, look up and learn about clipping masks, alpha lock, streamline, liquify, Gaussian blur

Don't worry too much about brushes, I mainly just use the hard and soft airbrushes and two versions of round marker (one with low streamline for sketching and one with high streamline for line art). I have a spotty one for freckles and that's about it really for what I use 99% of the time. People will try and sell you brushes by making you think you'll be able to draw like them if you have the right brushes but you won't and you don't want to draw like them anyway, you want to draw like YOU

Use more layers than you think you'll need, you can always merge them later

You will suck at first. You will suck so bad you will want to cry. But you have to be terrible, it's the only way to get to not terrible. The only way you STAY terrible is if you give up

Just when everything seems awful and everything you draw is crap and you don't ever want to draw again, that is when you must KEEP GOING and PUSH THROUGH because you are about to level up. Persevere just a little bit longer and soon you will be staring at your own hands thinking 'HOW'

Drawing is a learnt skill. There is no such thing as Talent, just people who've spent longer learning and practicing than you have. Eight years ago I couldn't reverse park my car, either, and then I got a new job where it was really handy to be able to reverse park in the car park and now I'm really good at it. You can improve at anything if you're willing to put in the time! GROWTH MINDSET!!

[thefaiao]

    About two months ago my laptop’s HDD died. I couldn’t really recover anything in the moment, and just left it unplugged inside the case until I could take it somewhere to check if it the files were truly unsalvageable. I wasn’t that annoyed by it. I had backed up most important files relating to game work, and I didn’t care too much about drawings that I already posted. I wouldn’t mind backing them up, but I wouldn’t lose sleep over it since they are posted somewhere already.     This HDD actually had been on a long journey with me. It, together with the laptop, carried me through a whole year of living alone and isolated for everyone I knew. It had been having problems since forever but it soldiered through most of it. It’s actually impressive how long it lasted, to be fair. But any times it would show hints of death then, I’d have a nervous breakdown. My anxiety and isolation were at a critical level. Drinking some Monster sent me to the hospital for pure anxiety. So all the bad stuff blended together at the time, and I couldn’t bother to fix all of it. When you are living day by day and hanging on by a thread on all sides, every loss can feel very major.     It only died after I moved back home. The worst part about losing the HDD was having to reinstall all the programs, and relearn my routine. When working on long-term projects, routine is really the only thing that can carry you further. Games are composed of so many different pieces. The amount of programs you have to use really incentivise terrible habits, like leaving the computer on eternally, or having multiple programs open at all times.     When I got my first drawing tablet, my thought process was: “If I put this in front of me, eventually I’ll draw on it, even if out of boredom.” This actually worked. I think that by leaving all the different programs open, I am hoping to finish the game out of boredom. But it doesn’t work as well when you are on your mid-twenties and the weight of life starts creeping up your back. It just feels like you are stuck in some sort of hell, and if you aren’t using those programs or drawing, you aren’t really doing anything. I wasn’t a teen trying to teach myself how to draw like those cool internet artists; rather, I was an adult, with a faulty income source, alone, in the middle of nowhere.     I think moving out of my Mom’s apartment was a form of attempted suicide. I think I just wanted to leave the world, make the game or die. Games take longer than it’d take me to die. Maybe I didn’t know this consciously, but deep down I think I understood. It’s hard not to feel like a failure.     My parents always let me follow my whims. My Dad supports me, but I feel he sees me as more of a symbol. I don’t think he could describe my interests in detail, or the person I am. I am similarly distant to him, but I know he likes Blade Runner, and records, and running, and pretending to smoke big cigars. I like Blade Runner too. I wish he saw that I’m happy he likes Blade Runner, because I got to like Blade Runner because of that.     My Mom does understand me, and is able to describe who I am. But I don’t ever feel she is happy with my choices. She doesn’t mention it actively, perhaps out of tiredness, but she wishes I had a normal job, or had chosen another subject that not games. I don’t think the drawings or the commissions I’ve done mean anything to her. I don’t think they mean anything to anyone outside of my circles... I managed to support myself with them, but I wouldn’t say it was a completely successeful endeavour. I think she sees the game as a waste of time and energy, especially if it doesn’t make any money. It might not make any money.    It’s understandable. She won’t be here forever. I need a stable source of money, not just enough to pay some bills, sometimes. I feel I almost got tricked by the world into following my dream. I felt everything was telling me I should be honest with myself, and that I should chase after the things that mattered to me. So that’s what I did, and what I’ve been doing still. I’m not sure where I’m going in life. I think I just heard what I wanted to hear, and I always wanted to chase after a dream.    Two days ago, my new SSD died. I had used it to boot the laptop back up after the HDD died. I had already gotten into the routine again. It was brand new, and gifted by my friend to me. I didn’t ask for it, she just did it because she knew I needed it. I often complain about life, but thinking back now, this is truly something not everyone gets. It was brand new.    It died suddenly. I lost a good chunk of work on the game. We are getting closer to finishing the demo, so each part is major. I may have lost a model of the boss. This time I did have a nervous breakdown because of the loss of the laptop. The truth is that this past year has been setbacks after setbacks, and I feel my time ticking down.    Money worries from both my parents. Dog getting a tracheostomy, and all the medical care surrounding it. Having to live apart from my girlfriend, which I am dedicated to being with as long as I can. Having to constantly move to other places, without any certainty for the future, for reasons internal and external. And death, death everywhere.     I’ve gotten the habit of looking at my dog knowing he is living on borrowed time, getting sad, and petting him just a bit. I think that through all of this, I do a similar thing to the game. I look at it. Wonder how much time I have left to keep working and polishing it before moving on. Be happy about how far its come. Notice how much needs work on closer inspection. Get back to work.     When I spend a few weeks away from the game I noticed how much I care for it, and how much I like what it is. I don’t think everyone will notice why this matters to me, but maybe that is fine. And similarly, I feel like this about my dog. He may pass away soon, but he came so far, lived fifteen years and had many adventures. And I got to take care of him. So it’s not so bad. And he still barks everyday, and he still takes sunbaths. He still thinks, and decides.     The people who’ve been with me despite all of this puzzle me. My girlfriend has stuck with me through these decisions, and always says I am destined to make great things. The programmer, whom co-develops the game with me, has stuck with me and this game, and is willing to keep going as far as we need to make it complete. Things like this make me wonder if my dream is actually possible and real. And that I can brave through all these setbacks.    Is the game really that good? Is my work that good? Does it even matter if it is? I often show it to people and they don’t understand what’s good about it. All I know for now is that despite everything, I want to work on it still. I want to make this weird dream come true. I won’t get to play a game like the one I’m making, but maybe someone else out there will get to play it the way I wish I could.

[geibuchan]

Here’s another thing I’ve done at one point while I was away from Tumblr!

I got a drawing tablet, so now it should be easier to get my art published, as well as make HD versions of game assets like I usually do.

Starting with the Mega Man X explosion that I always use for boss death explosions in my videos!

Of course even over there on my Twitter, the frames were uncompressed since these were just small enough already, but now you can get ‘em here too if you want them!

Only this time they’re not separated in three posts just because!

[actress4him]

Can I get falling through ice with platonic kidge? Preferably Pidge falling through but I’m good with either!

I’m so sorry that this has taken me...absolutely forever. And I’m sorry that it’s pretty short and simple, I’ve been having a hard time finding inspiration for fanfics lately. But it’s here! And it’s my last current bingo request so yay for finally catching up!

@badthingshappenbingo

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Prompt: Falling Through Ice

contains: lady whump, hypothermia

.

.

“I think it’s right over here!” Pidge looks up from the map on her tablet and points straight ahead toward what looks like a series of caves carved into the side of a mountain. Without waiting for a response from Keith, she takes off at a jog, eager as he is to get the mission in this horrible frozen wasteland over and done with.

“Be careful,” he calls after her, but he isn’t sure whether she even hears since the wind chooses that moment to pick up. Not that she would listen, anyway. He knows very well how Pidge is when she gets her mind set on something.

Besides, that’s mostly what he’s here for. Watching Pidge’s back. She’s the little genius who can read the map and work the tracking technology and identify minerals once they actually find what they’re looking for. He just has to make sure that she stays alive and well in order to do all of that.

With that in mind, he breaks into a jog behind her, head swiveling back and forth to take in the empty, snow covered expanse of planet as they go. There’s no sign of life anywhere. He really doesn’t expect to see any the whole time, he doesn’t know what could even live in this freezing weather. And they’re far from Galra territory, so they shouldn’t be a problem, either. Still, he’s going to remain vigilant, just in case.

The ground under his feet changes, and he slows a little, frowning down at it. Ice. Not icy ground, just straight up ice, like they’re walking on a frozen lake. With the temperature this low, it should be plenty solid, but…

He switches his comms on since Pidge is too far ahead to hear his voice. “Hey Pidge, you might want to slow down a litt-”

His warning is interrupted by a loud, heart-stopping cracking sound, and an almost simultaneous screech that he hears both over the comms and cutting through the wind. Breath catching in his throat, he looks up just in time to see his teammate plunge down through the ice.

“Pidge!” 

Ignoring his own warning, Keith dashes forward, feet slipping slightly with each pounding step. There isn’t any time to waste, that water will be frigid and she’s got on her armor but he doesn’t know how well it protects against being submerged and she has her faceplate open…

As he draws closer he can both hear and feel the ice weakening under his feet. Forcing himself to slow down, he inches a bit further before sprawling on his stomach, spreading his weight out across more surface, and starts scooting forward like an insect.

“Pidge!” He can see her head. That’s the only thing that’s keeping him from panicking right now. She managed to get her arms out before she fell completely down into the water and caught herself. If she’d gone all the way down and disappeared beneath the ice…he shook the thought out of his head, refusing to dwell on it. “I’m coming, just hang on.” 

“K-k…K-Keith…” She’s already shivering, dang it. “Some…some water g-got int-to my…my…”

“Okay. I understand, it’s okay.” It’ll be fine, he just has to get her out of there and get her back to Red. If there’s one thing Red knows, it’s warmth. 

He reaches the edge of the hole after what feels like ages of crawling. “Okay. I’m gonna close your faceplate, just in case you were to slip down any further, okay?” He isn’t sure if what he sees is a quick nod or just a shiver, but he does it anyway, feeling minutely better when she’s sealed off from any more cold water getting into her suit. 

“Alright. Time to get you out of there.” He hasn’t actually figured out how exactly that’s gonna happen yet, but it only takes a second of consideration for it to come to him. “If I turn around, do you think you can grab on tight to my ankles?”

“Y-y-yeah.”

“Okay. I’m gonna use my jetpack, so make sure you get a good grip.” Painstakingly, trying not to go too fast but feeling the urgent need to get her out of there, he spins himself on the ice until his feet are in front of her. Pidge pries one arm away from the ice, then another, latching onto his ankles with what he’s sure are stiff fingers. 

He just hopes this idea is actually a good one, and that she can hang on. 

“Here goes!” Keith activates his jetpack, and he goes shooting forward on his belly across the ice. Thankfully, he feels Pidge’s weight come with him. As soon as he’s certain they’re clear of the hole and back on more solid ice, he cuts the jetpack off and quickly sits up. Pidge has rolled over onto her side and curled up into a ball. 

“Hey.” He scoots back toward her, looking her over, though he’s not sure what he expects to see. She’s not injured, just freezing. “You okay?”

A shiver racks her body. “Mm-hm. P-peachy.”

It was a stupid question. “Um. I don’t think I should call Red over here, not with this ice. Is it okay if I carry you back?”

“W-w…what ab-bout th-...the m-min-nerals?” She cranes her head to look toward the caves they’d been headed toward. 

Keith rolls his eyes. “I’m taking you back to Red to warm up. If we think we can get the minerals after that, fine. But we’re not doing anything else until you’re safe.” Holding out his hands to her, he waits until she accepts them, then pulls her up and loops her arms over his shoulders. “One, two, three.” Pidge helps as best she can to get them up, Keith on his feet with his hands hooked under her thighs and her hanging onto his back. 

“You g-good?”

He nods. “I’m fine. You hardly weigh anything.”

She slaps him weakly on the helmet as if that’s an insult.

“Alright, it’s gonna be slow going until we get off this ice. Don’t need a repeat incident.” 

He picks his way carefully across the terrain, wishing that there was any way to make this trip go faster. His jetpack won’t carry the both of them, though, and hers is frozen and useless. Every once in a while, he asks her a question, usually checking to see if they’re going the right direction, though it’s mostly just to make sure she’s still awake and aware. The longer they go, the more fuzzy her responses become, and since they’re no longer on the ice he forces himself into a faster trot. 

By the time Red’s welcome form looms through the falling snow, Keith’s exhausted, but he just pushes himself a little harder still. “Almost there. Stay awake.”

“Mm.”

“I mean it, Pidge. If you fall asleep on me now I’ll, uh…I’ll rearrange stuff in your lab when we get back.”

“Nuhh. You woul’n’t.”

“I will. Stay awake.”

“Ugh. ‘Kay.”

She barely does. Keith practically runs up Red’s ramp, into her blessedly warm cockpit, and lowers Pidge into the pilot’s seat as carefully as he can on trembling legs. Her head lolls to the side, but when he taps the side of her helmet she grunts at him and squints her eyes open. 

“Are we home?”

The corner of his mouth crooks up a little. “We’re in Red.” He glances up at the ceiling. “Can we crank up the temperature in here?” 

The Lion gives a quiet rumble in response, and the room grows a little warmer. 

Keith looks back to Pidge. “Feeling any better yet?”

She smiles a little and shuts her eyes again. “Mm. ‘t’s warm…”

“Yeah. We should probably get you out of those wet clothes, but I don’t have anything for you to change into.”

“Feels good. Jus’ need…five more minutes. Then…then minerals.”

He huffs in disbelief. “You need a lot more than five minutes, Pidge. I think I’m gonna take you back to the Castle. We can come back for the minerals later. I don’t wanna risk you getting sick out here.”

Pidge sighs heavily, but she’s in no shape to put up a fight. “Fine. I’m gonna…take a nap.”

Keith laughs lightly. “I guess you can do that.” Now that they’re out of the cold, he’s pretty sure she’ll be safe. “Not in my chair, though. I’ll take you back to the cargo hold.”

He helps her up, and she manages to hobble to the back with one arm around him. As he’s getting her settled, she reaches out and pats him on the arm without opening her eyes. 

“Thanks, Keith. You’re…a good teammate.”

He doesn’t say anything for a long moment, simply staring down at her in surprise. Finally he relaxes a little into a smile. “Get some sleep, Pidge.”

[milaza]

nine years of drawing with a digital art tablet baeby! i have some older traditional/non-tablet digital pieces as well but i dunno what year they’re from. i’ll make a more complete yearly progress chart next year.

overall, i’m pretty okay with things considering it’s just a hobby.

it’s still a bit frustrating to see that i peaked with pretty stuff in 2018, but as i said before i’ve improved a lot more in other ways and i don’t think i’d be happy with myself if i kept just drawing pretty faces with boring compositions.

before i compiled this, my feeling was that i thought i did really well in 2020. but that was just the year my posts did well on social media (did well for ME). looking back, there wasn’t really anything complete and unique that i liked a lot. and i thought i kinda flopped in 2021 ‘cause i didn’t post all that much, but i’m really happy with my output that year TBH. i want to draw more fun scenes and pictures with deep feelings!

the time i spend on a complete piece has decreased a lot because i’m more concerned with having an interesting atmosphere over making sure the rendering and anatomy is perfect. also, i’ve just gotten quicker at drawing overall. i always try to keep it under 10 hours nowadays unless it’s got lineart... that shit makes it take so much longer orz.

2022 kinda felt like a flop again, aw man. i kinda forgot that i spent a good part of the early year drawing a whole korekiyo dojinshi? i felt really down about it at the time since i was utterly unmotivated (it’s fucking korekiyo i don’t know how i cared enough about him to draw a whole comic about him), but now i’m like... woah... people actually enjoyed that? i sold out of all 28 copies i had printed, so now i’m considering reprinting it again. who knows...

anyway i got an ipad this year and started using procreate so i sketched a good bit more. i finished dai gyakuten saiban, got motivated by my chemical romance, and completed a bunch of stuff i was pretty proud of in a single week. unfortunately completing dai gyakuten saiban also made me fall in love with barok van zieks for some reason so i basically spent the second half of the year just drawing self-ship art and van zieks pr0n. it’s not even crap worth posting.

i feel like i didn’t complete or post that much (at least on my main account) because of that. but actually, i always forget i have more finished pieces for zines that i don’t post... idk if i should admit it but i use zines as a way to motivate myself to finish stuff honestly. i think without that i’d flop even more and not get me to draw anything... but i will stop doing that from now on because i don’t feel satisfied with my artistic output drawing for zines. bleh.

last year i was obsessed with making dojinshi and this year i got into merch stuff since i was tabling at a convention for the first time, but honestly...! it’s a pain in the ass!!! i don’t want to bother with maintaining an online store and i don’t want to create products for the sake of creating products so i’m only gonna make what i personally want from now on.

so i spent 75+ hours rendering a barok van zieks dakimakura.

I WANT TO THROW UP!!! IT’S SO SICKENING TO ME THAT THE PIECE I’VE SPENT THE MOST TIME ON EVER IS A FUCKING VAN ZIEKS DAKIMAKURA!!!! HE’S NOT EVEN IN MY TOP 5 ACE ATTORNEY CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!! preorder link in my bio btw.

that was just 2 weeks ago basically, but i felt so fucking ill about it. luckily i finished off the year with a nice complete drawing so i’m happy and i love myself again ^_^

i want to focus on 3D art next year, draw more complete scenes, get around to my drawing idea backlog... get into some new fucking media because i am sick of that white man cursing me for the past six months. yep yep!

[josiebelladonna]

damn.

how’s everyone doing?

okay. these few days have been… interesting to say in the least.

first off, the house: the backstory, in case you don’t know, is that the property taxes here had defaulted about five years ago. to make a long convoluted complicated 95% of it i can’t talk about due to legality story short, they defaulted… and turns out, it wasn’t even our fault. someone dropped the ball somewhere, it totally wasn’t even our doing or our responsibility for that matter. but my mom and i looked at each other, we looked at what was due, and my mom bit the bullet and pretty much used all of her savings to cover it—by the skin of our teeth, too, like the company got the check today. she’s only got about 200 dollars left in her savings account after that, but luckily for us, it’s only a once-a-year thing (meaning we don’t have to think about this again for a full year), and we’ve been through difficult times before (read: we know how to pinch pennies in our sleep) and it’s only for about a month, which is when her job starts with a new assignment.

second, my mental health. it tanked the other day, and there were a couple of things that triggered it: number one was the fact that i kept getting asked about money over on instagram. people asking me about commissions and “dealing” and what have you—i think most of them were ai generated, but who the fuck knows. it’s a deep wound that only those who grew up poor will understand—compounded with the fact that i have a very dysfunctional, very unsupportive, borderline abusive family; on its own, it’s enough to push my buttons. plus—say what you want. every artist goes through this. i’m following a bunch of artists on instagram, good artists, too, some of these people are excellent… but i couldn’t help but compare myself to them. it’s also kind of… clique-y, i’d say? kind of like how tumblr is now, but it’s actually worse because you have art involved, something that should unite all of us. tumblr… as obnoxious as this place is now, i do see where it’s coming from. but within the art community? that just doesn’t seem right to me. when you take an art class, you’re going in there to rest your soul. tap into yourself and learn some techniques while you’re at it. nobody is picasso out the gate, so you hone your own skill and your own style all the while, so it’s like a leveling of the playing field (and no, showing the biggest piece of shit to the teacher doesn’t count). but this is uncomfortable. and it’s exhausting, too, like how the hell can you people be posting to your story several times every hour? i post three to mine in one sitting and i feel like i’m overloading everyone. and, i was getting comments from people who were following me years ago asking me, “you’re still drawing?” like they were shocked that i’m still doing this. i saw that as a bad sign, like… you know when you, a fan of something or someone, doesn’t seem to realize that the thing you’re fan of is still going, that’s usually a sign of things gone wrong. and i had accidentally rehashed some old wounds that are kinda “same ol’” status at this point: my sexuality, my appearance, my body, my not feeling good enough. so… i woke up one morning, looked at my art, and just started crying. all of that pushed me over the edge and it genuinely made me want to quit. i thought for sure i was finished. i had to get away. i have to be alone for a while.

(so, if i seem a.w.o.l. over on instagram, you know what happened: i just deleted the app from my tablet, i didn’t delete my account)

third, i looked at my art and i wondered if i just needed a makeover for it. i have a new little project going right now made by some of the techniques i’ve seen on instagram. i won’t reveal it until it’s done, though. it’s kind of abstract, kind of odd, kind of… well, you’ll see it. as for the “deleted all my art files from my computer” tidbit, it didn’t delete the backup files, so i clicked on those and salvaged every single one, every single one. i’ll admit, it was weirdly freeing to have all that free space on my thumb drive.  and as for neptune’s spear… i was thinking of posting it today or tuesday, but… eh. i think she can wait a while.

[yeowninefive]

1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 16, 20, 21, 29, 30 (So sorry for the question dump!)

1. Autodesk Sketchbook Express when I first got my tablet. Photoshop Elements and Paint Tool SAI I don’t use for regular drawing anymore; but they still get irregular use for other purposes (image edits and drawings for academic works; i.e. flowcharts for programming).

On a similar note, while I use Clip Studio Paint for practically all of my regular drawing nowadays, I did use that program years ago for a short animation; before going to try and learn Opentoonz. I would like to return to it at least once, for a colored animation; since I’m still trying to get over OpenToonz’ learning curve.

2. It’s not something I really think of much, but I guess I draw characters facing right more often that I do drawing them facing left.

3. This is a stretch / loose interpretation. But even though I haven’t drawn / posted any new ones as of late. I would say my videogame level maps / level design draw their roots from my earliest (traditional) drawings when I was younger, which were maps of highway / interstates. I sometimes still think about doing a true “throwback piece” to those days and draw a new highway map.

4. I would really like to get back to drawing more detailed environments like I used to do when I first started getting into digital art. But I have trouble getting started in any meaningful way; and the newer landscapes I do are still simpler compared to my earlier stuff. I imagine part of the problem is that my earlier, more detailed landscapes were traditional drawings on paper, so maybe I was more willing to spend more time filling in/adding blanks compared to digital? I’m still trying to work it out.

8. I have a bunch of art and videogame concepts / projects I have that are perpetual shelf occupants, stuff that I might go back and tinker with, others that go untouched for years. Some are lucky to get rescued and either finished or reworked to finally see the light of day. I imagine at some point I’m going to have to essentially “clean out the closet” and decide what stays or goes.

10. Tall boots! They’ve kinda always been a mainstay for me.

11. It varies between music and podcasts (which are typically movie reviews). Right now I think I’ve hit a regular track where if I’m trying to draw something new or develop a concept; I listen to music for inspiration (which varies a lot—videogame instrumentals, jazz, R&B, alternative, piano instrumentals, mashups, etc.). If I have a concrete art idea that I just need to develop into a finished product (i.e. doing construction, coloring, etc.).

12. I don’t think I have any, since I keep trying to vary my approach in constructing bodies. Each of them tend to be somewhat difficult for me, at least in terms of getting the proportions right. I suppose drawing arms and legs are what I have the easiest time with.

13. I don’t really have any that comes to mind. There’s probably some, I could certainly name particular genres or studios; but not individual creators.

16. I’m not sure, admittedly. I guess that I would probably be pretty good with fanart (and likely would be more popular than I currently and historically have been). It’s not so much I don’t like drawing fanart, than it is that it’s mainly not been my focus. It’s something that I’ve previously said that I’ve been hoping to rectify in recent years, hopefully this year.

20. Honestly, I don’t know what I (used to) draw that would be considered difficult. I guess drawing level design would probably be up there; at least in the sense of it probably being difficult to plan out, or figure out a way to try and make it engaging or interesting. Like I said earlier, my interest for drawing highways I imagine was a prelude to drawing maps/course design. My parents like to say that I should have become an architect.

21. Highly detailed aesthetics for character designs and environments, usually of a realistic style. Although I try to shuffle my aesthetics around regularly, I’d say I usually do hit a limit with my art where it’s either at least stylized and/or simple to some degree.

29. Not sure. I guess the closest thing I can say to answer this question is that there’s a bunch of things I like and/or outright love, but I don’t regularly create fanart of. (As I said previously, I normally don’t draw much fanart in general, and I’d like to try and change that this year.)

30. There have been some pieces I’ve done that I’m proud of, mainly because I put extra touches of flourish on and/or think are probably among my best (recent) works; but I can’t say they have gotten any notable attention (especially here on tumblr, which as of late gets less traction compared to Twitter and sometimes deviantArt). A recent piece I feel has been overlooked a bit is included below (original post to it here); but here are links to some other pieces from last year I feel were overlooked here on this site.

[chanstopher]

hello dreamy; hope you’re well ❤️ we’re pretty similar in some aspects :o i love making gfx the most too since it’s something i wish to be good at + pairing fonts, figuring out colour palettes and executing ideas in the form of a graphics really is challenging but also super rewarding! i draw from time to time as well and i really love doing it, but since i rarely ever not draw from a reference or change things ever so slightly, it’s not something that tickles my imagination as much as a gfx would hehe since i usually have to readjust colourings or sometimes colour from scratch, i really like giffing too! but it’s probably the most mundane out of all of them since there’s nothing much different about the process dkfjdj oh, you’re absolutely fine! a good friend is like a seasoned professional when it comes to typos, and i’ve finally mastered decoding 90% of what she says… reading through your posts is like a calming breeze after talking to her—no missing words, random exclamations or extra letters 😂 but i think it’s a charming point for her too; i immediately know it’s her when i receive a text that butchered up! the whole biasing thing reminds me of a mutual of mine :D she’s always confused on who her bias is and ends up biasing the one member who is a complete opposite of her initial bias so we joke around by predicting who her bias will be once she starts getting into a new group. what’s your favourite hair colour on chan (and/or binnie haha) + what are some things that you associate with him? (i apologize for the late ask as i have been struggling with tumblr for the past couple of days ^^;) - 🌨

i'm gonna put a cut cause this is long

Hi my lil rain cloud, omg yes there’s just so much you can do with gfx, its a constant learning curve, and it’s so full of experimentation that its just always so fun. I’ve always been tempted to open up requests for gfx but its so hard to think of how to get ppl to send stuff that would actually inspire me. The best I’ve done is someone randomly sent me an ask for a gfx with Minho and they asked if it could be yellow and it ended up being a lot of fun to try to do, the request was so vague it was easy to be completely creative.  I also cannot draw unless I have a good reference, it’s like I can picture something so perfectly in my mind but the second my pen touches paper or tablet I suddenly can’t figure out how to proportion anything. But if I have something to constantly look at and compare myself to I can match it pretty well. But I agree gifs feel easy most of the time in comparison, unless I’m trying to recolor something nightmare inducing like purple stage lighting, or making things extra fancy by basically turning gifs into gfx. Giffing is a good hobby for watching tv or something, because it’s just a constant process so I can pay enough attention to the tv to know what’s happening while also cranking out sets, so I like that about it. I’m glad my grammar issues are at least legible, just lots of random commas that I hope are remotely ok lmao

Omg red is definitely my favorite hair color on Chris, like all time, I think the more ppl hated it the more I loved it, was obsessed with it. It just felt so punk, and then it faded to a pretty pink and I was happy all over again lmao. I also really loved the highlighted brown during double knot, that was such a gorgeous color and I think it really suited his skin tone a lot. I’m partial to blonde binnie, like ex or all in that was SUCH a gorgeous color on him, I do wish he got to do more fun colors tho, he’s said a few times he wants pink hair and I think changbin should get what he wants lol

Things I associate with Chris, omg does everything count or does that just really bring out the loser in me lmao but fr space, the ocean, oversized clothing, skateboarding, wolves obviously, the 🤙🏻 emoji, Pokemon, puppies, those thick silver chain necklaces lol, I will stop this will get embarrassing gdhgd