#i'd say scene analysis but not in depth enough for that

[fumifooms]

I feel we talk and speculate about post-canon Marchil. But what about pre-canon Marchil? They may not yet know much about each other's personal lives by the time the story starts. But from the start we could already see that they have some level of rapport and are able to bounce off each other quite well especially given that they see each other as the saner party members.

But we know its not how they started especially given Chilchucks disdain for elves, and the fact that the previous mage/sorcerer of their party supposedly almost broke the party up with their love agendas.

How do you think it played out from there and getting to the start of the manga?

Pre-canon and early Marcille & Chilchuck

Yes, very interesting topic!! There are a good few moments that are telling imo. I don't have any fun way to introduce it all so let's just go right into it, it's gonna be a long post though.

Pre-canon

We do see how they start out:

Like you said, Chil, like the other party members, was very hesitant at first on trusting her, that she’d be a good fit for the party etc, though he doesn’t seem to be taking it any worse than Shuro and Namari (which is interesting since Chil’s distrust of elves is more prominent).

The distrust of mages for their party specifically was due to their old one, implied to have stirred drama by being a marriage seeker with every man in the party yes. We don't know the details but it does paint a certain picture I suppose, I really hope The Adventurer's Bible 2 is gonna have new info or pages about the old party members... Doing an analysis of the party configurations pre-canon would be interesting too, for example there’s the buzzcut guy that’s implied to have betrayed Laios and it’s soo cryptic but intriguing and implied to be a significant moment for Laios, would be worth analyzing the crumbs of info we get in canon... But yes yes point is that's one side of the coin, which is eased when the party gets used to Marcille and she earns their trust by being friendly and nice, BUT there’s the other side of the coin to it where magic has been used to persecute half-foots historically, especially by elves, so there’s that bias that remains even for a good part of canon for Chilchuck, and it's stated the most explicitly when he and Marcille argue over dark magic in chapter 34.

To go back to the pictures above, the panel that shows Marcille "working hard to befriend everyone" contextualizes the extra comic in Chilchuck’s Adventurer’s Bible section(the third picture above) to be set during that time of integration into the party for her. We see they indeed had already their comedic dynamic schtick down by then… And I think that makes sense. Even at the start of canon Chil is still adamant about not making friends and keeping emotional distance, so though I’m sure he was much more standoffish and quiet at first I think going from "I don’t know you and I’ll avoid you" to "I’ll engage with you but I’m not gonna be friendly about it" isn't a big jump and it would happen naturally with time as they get somewhat acquainted.

Chilchuck does value having a good professional dynamic, so he wouldn’t want to be rude or shoot her down, and it’s also that will to help a coworker be efficient that gets him to go out shopping for a pouch with her and makes her able to bond with him on that occasion (Yes I do want to make a fanfic about it hehe. He doesn’t like to wait after people but still went with her for a pouch isn’t that sweet). Considering the way she acts with him in that extra comic, she was already very open and didn’t mind overcrowding him and seeming eager and whatnot. Imo she already looked favorably upon him from the get-go because he’s "a kid" and thus sweet and cute™️, but I still think especially with the added context of the pages on her perspective that she was extra trying to be friendly and encourage engaging with her. Even at their "on good terms for work but no actual relationship" stage at the beginning of canon, Marcille worked to get there and to have that good (decent) of a dynamic with Chil.

Although I don’t think it was especially hard either, I just think it took a while for people to acclimate to her. A lot of the prejudices in Dungeon Meshi are eased and challenged through exposure and contact, like getting a scared dog to see you as safe. "Oh, this guy isn’t so bad after all, guess there are good ones -> guess they have a point -> guess that maybe they’ve always had a point and were never all that evil" etc etc, it’s more nuanced and has variations but hopefully you see what I mean, how prejudices are tackled in Dunmeshi is a very interesting & layered topic for another day.

Ah yes there’s also the extra above in which Chil says how awkward it is to wait with Toshiro and Marcille for the others to arrive, and though it certainly could be mostly about how Toshiro and Marcille don’t get along and that's what makes the air tense, I do think it shows a good level of distance and disinterest between them. It’s often referred to in canon that, previous to canon events, they all truly just had a coworkers dynamic.

Even just hanging out outside of work for a drink was very uncommon. The closest thing to a friend Chilchuck would see someone as in the party would have been Namari I imagine, since it’s shown a few times that those two did go out to drink after work a couple times and got along well (as per the extras about it and some small canon moments).

I think it’s very central to their dynamic at that point that their relationship is professional. According to the timeline it’s been around 1/1.5 year that Marcille has joined Laios’ party at the beginning of canon, and since they dungeon dive regularly that’s a good amount of time to develop a dynamic with a coworker. So yes I think a good way to frame their relationship is that they’re two coworkers, who have been working together well for a while but never developed it into a proper friendship, either from lack of interest or failure to do it, like two cashiers sharing the same shift. They have a bond forged in forced proximity and casual familiarity accumulated over time, which does make their relationship a bit unique and interesting since they would have never become friends under regular circumstances. They're like that sweet & salty sandwich that you have to give a chance to, that'll surprise you and have complementary flavors if you try it out despite seeming disastrous.

Early canon

Their early dynamic is super interesting though!! Both see each other as capable, which I do think is the foundation of their relationship early on, since Marcille thought of him as a kid too closed off on himself and Chilchuck saw her as a somewhat annoying person (afaik) and an elf mage (both which make her more distrust-worthy for him) which doesn't make them very friends material at that point. But like I said, they do see each other as capable not only in their job but with their respective strenghts:

Early on we get the sense that they of course have worked with each other for a while and have a good grasp on the other’s character though, and what they say is insightful on how they think of the other. Above, the excerpt is when Laios and Chilchuck come back with the dead Kabru party’s wet food. "She’s right that wasn’t okay to do. Not good I didn’t catch that, that’s Marcille for you." implying he sees her as sort of the moral compass of the team, that she’s strict on such things but seemingly he values it instead of being offput by it. On her side she says how "he’s usually the most mature here." This is in the kakiage chapter so she still fully believes he's a kid at that point, so it's interesting to see that she still recognizes his maturity demeanor wise.

There is respect there, however how kneecapped or begrudging it is. I think the "you’re the next most normal person in the party after me and you have common sense thank god" dynamic was mostly forged right from the beginning of canon but not before that, since Laios while yes still having some of his questionable leadership previously (since his part was losing faith in him before Marcille joined) was more stoic and controlled, so 1) there is no great evil to band up against in the party, plus there were just more people, so 2) less reason or occasion to seek specifically each other out. But then without Toshiro and Namari they were the only person the other had when Laios started showing his interest in monsters and whatnot, the whole party dynamic got thrown upside down which made them gravitate towards each other more than they usually did. And then Senshi came into the picture but Marcille and Chilchuck had already traumabonded like kittens /j and Senshi turned out to also have an interest in monsters. I do feel like pre-canon they simply didn’t interact as much, more one-off moments and short shallow interactions and the occasional deeper, pleasant enough conversation than anything, so canon events is what really kickstarted it into something more than (acquaintance level emotional distance) coworkers.

And on that note, I think that the true shift in their relationship starts after the red dragon arc, when their goal becomes more convoluted and they’ll have to stick to each other’s side through truly thick and thin. It’s right after that Chilchuck gets a shift in character and motivation where he admits that he cares about them, and when the characters start being overall more vulnerable with each other.

I think about this page a ton for example.

"Still, that Marcille…" Maybe I should check out how the original phrased it, the ‘that’ does add a lot, but even without it there's a very impersonal feeling to it. Like they really are just starting to get accustomed to each other after all and sizing each other up, which isn’t all that wrong considering the context of finding something very important about her out that would shift everyone's perception of her, but it does definitely show distance imo, even with this being after the dragon arc at chapter 29. He thinks of her as silly and sketchy at that point as per the scene with Leed... It's rocky, it's rocky, but they do hash things out together and continue to respect each other's perspective and points, as seen for eample how they strategize together when they meet Shuro and Kabru's parties. And yes, that's super interesting!! The scene after his talk with Leed where he admits he cares about the party member is the point where Chilchuck stops pretending to only be in it for the money and he lets himself bond with the others more, so it makes sense to me that he'd have processed the whole "Marcille dark elf" thing and moved past it, but it does show a lot of trust in Marcille that even despite her dark magic show he goes to her for strategy talk and like, doesn't worry about her doing faux-pas and getting themselves killed or in jail unlike with Laios or Senshi which he feels the need to monitor lol.

I think the bicorn chapter is the chapter that truly cements them as having a relationship in its own right. He opened up about himself and let her in on personal aspects of his life, and that makes him finally ready to fully drop the wall of "coworkers only, no friends nope, our relationship starts and stops at when we enter and leave the dungeon". And of course by the end he's straight up saying he'll introduce her to his family lol <3

Conclusion

So yes overall they do seem to know each other the way longtime acquaintances would, and they have a good grasp on each other’s character, but their vision of each other is severely kneecapped by other factors, Marcille seeing him as a kid and him having a bias against elves and mages and also just optimistic nosy people lol. Chilchuck is only interested in working with her efficiently, without making friends, and besides him being a coworker whose skills are very needed Marcille is only interested in him in a gossip curiosity way and in a ‘Aww I should make an effort to include the kid in things, he should open up more!’ patronizing and infantilizing way. You can’t really bond as an equal with someone you think is a kid after all, so early on it’s more of a caring after attention/interest she has for him, and the process of her growing to see him as an adult is very slow and gradual. They're tough to feasibly work with in a shipping sense early on, like yes ok they have very funny chemistry but at what cost... But I sure do love slow burns and complicated people growing to love each other through learning about them through thick and thin and compromising to better themselves and make it work, so!!

It’d be interesting to have marchil (wether platonic or romantic) fancontent exploring their pre-canon relationship, especially if we were to try and have them learn to know each other more and form a deeper bond and all, but it literally took all of canon to get them there. It took them having to do a desperate emergency dungeon dive with initially only 3 party members, where they don’t have any choice but to spend a lot of time in almost only each other’s company and have to forgo the usual boundaries, when fighting for each other’s lives and learning things about each other like being a 'dark elf' or a 'father of three'. It took 57 chapters and a lie-detecting virtue-detecting monster for him to open up about his wife and family, and who knows how long it’d have taken without that monster or without it having attacked him, serving as evidence that he’d been lying about it. Who knows how long he’d have been fine lying, y’know?? And learning that he cheated on his wife made her esteem for him tank, it’d have made them more tense with each other if anything if the bicorn hadn't proven his lie wrong. Beause it's def implied too that Chilchuck would have said that lie if super pushed int otalking about his wife, which would have happen with or without a bicorn appearing in their path right then.

In the end it’s like how Laios said, thank you Falin for being eaten, and thank you everyone for being the gender that you are, because if any detail had been different the adventure either wouldn’t have happened or would have happened very differently (worse). Best marchil slow burn is canon real?!! Jk there’s so much that could be done with them both pre-canon, during canon and post-canon, but yeahh they’re such complex characters with a complex dynamic that making it both organic and IC would be so hard. I do like the take that he is attracted to her to some degree though, and I feel like Marcille has a general curiosity and interest in romance and maybe experiencing it herself, so I wouldn't say that spontaneous interest would be impossible, but the biggest obstacle is Chilchuck's wife situation tbh because the man is planning on staying faithful and celibate right up to at least divorce if not his grave lol.

Now I do want to write a canon divergent thing where Chil refused to try and tame the bicorn and the party kept on thinking he’d cheated on her and the new dynamic with Marcille though… Eventually she wants to understand him and ask about it, and it keeps getting worse, before it starts getting better because this time around exhaustion caught up to him and he didn’t need the bicorn to make him admit he hasn’t… The whole end thing of his arc would have to happen pretty differently man, whew, especially since he has a complex where he doesn’t see himself as a good man, not virtuous or moral, cowardly and selfish etc etc, so without having a monster with its objective monster senses going "ew you’re a virtuous husband I hate u" it’d have been harder for him to truly consider that maybe the situation isn’t quite as hopeless as he thought and he should at least try blablabla. But Marcille is the next best thing to a bicorn, she can psychoanalyze him and hype him up, I have faith I have faith. Most feasibly though I feel like pre-canon fics with them would be ficlets of moments in which they unexpectedly interacted and went the small extra mile of going beyond small talk and both try to connect a bit, learning to know each other just a bit more, piquing interest or curiosity or making them re-evaluate each other, that’d be fun.

Like you said it's not a topic that's often analyzed and all, so I ended up going all out and being somewhat rambly... Apologies apologies, hopefully this wasn't hard to follow along with, and was good food for thought and had good points! Maybe it feels a bit far from your initial question that was only about going from their first meeting to the start of canon, but I feel like only analyzing their early relationship in that scope and consider the first hurdle in them growing closer fully over and done with doesn't encapsulate the core of their issues with each other and how they deal with them and eventually overcome them. It took a lot of time and insistance and efforts and for their prejudices to be challenged and proven wrong many, many times for it to truly stick and for them to be truly comfortable and open with each other. Early marchil truly has traumabonded retail coworkers energy to me lol, speaking from experience and traumabonded being meant as an hyperbole.

[infaria]

So, so, so, SO many people miss the point of the walten files and it's genuinely saddening, because it is such a delicate story hidden behind horror. What makes the walten files stand out from the rest of the big analog webseries out there is the fact that it's so far the only one that is both horror and drama in genre. The only other online indie horror projects that I've seen put focus on placing actual depth into characters so far is welcome home and the tanji virus/oracle project duology (a duology that I highly recommend people to watch, it deserves more recognition).

Martin has said that there's more to the characters than meets the eye, with bunnyfarm specifically noting that "this is a story about broken people, beautiful people"

This is probably why most theories people make are doomed to fail from my point of view. Martin doesn't seem to be particularly interested in creating an epic horror that ends in a thrilling battle or to create the "most SHOCKING, SCARY analog horror ever?!?!" as random reaction channels title their videos as. Maybe this is why Martin deviated from the original format. The walten files 4, despite being 36 minutes long, did not add too many answers to the mystery. Instead, there was a perfect balance of giving more context as well as well as giving more character to pre-existing characters, such as suzan, ed and molly, the antagonist (whoever he is), felix, jack and charles. All that through dialogue and actual cinematographic scenes. The story wants you to take personality and psychology into account when theorizing as well.

I won't post all my theories, but now that we have 4 out, I'll give my two cents on the "who or what is bon" mystery, based on a mix of character analysis and hints given throughout the episodes, site, hidden media and martin's statements.

I never believed the "felix killed and placed jack into bon" theory as someone who discovered the series after bunnyfarm's release. Felix is a coward, self centered, is irresponsible and refuses to acknowledge his issues. And people mistakenly interpret that as "evil capitalist who only cares about his hide". I won't analyze felix (at least not today), because so far he is the one character who we have the most context about his inner psychology and woo boi, there's a LOT of issues this guy has, but point I am trying to make is that he doesn't seem like the type to kill jack because, believe it or not, from what I can gather, he'd never kill a person on purpose.

The only possible scenario I can see the "felix put jack in bon" theory being true is if jack attacked felix after learning of the kids, so felix accidentally killed him in self defense.

Felix is shown to be alive in 1981, so it's unlikely it is him being bon either. (funnily enough, if that wasn't revealed, I'd think him being bon as a good theory, something that, yet again, I'll probably touch upon a future dissection of his character)

The only two scenarios I can think of is a) either jack put himself, either on purpose, or accidentally in bon, b) bon is a third party or c) jack is bon, but someone else placed him in

Out of these three theories, I believe a) is the least probable, with c) being second in place. It is possible jack got depressed to the point of doing something this intense, however it was implied in the Relocation project and the findjackwalten site that he is very likely alive. Here I am mostly going on hunch, but I don't think martin would choose the "Man loses family, ends up depressed and then a vengeful insane spirit" route. I did say above that I believe felix to more more likely to fit that role of "person going mad from mental stress", but I actually believe that he'd be more likely to snap, considering his mental stability after the crash. Also I don't see how jack could accidentally get into bon.

I honestly think both were red herrings from the very start of the series. In fact, walten files 4 pretty much added the possibility that they have nothing to do with the murders (excluding ed and molly*), aside from felix being heavily hinted to have tried covering up the bon incidents instead of reporting them like a normal, law abiding, responsible citizen.

Cyberfun Tech episode pretty much revealed to us that the "bon is just a malfunctioning animatronic" theory is not true, as bon clearly has something controlling it. So I can only see the above theories being correct.

This places the c) theory as most believable. The issue is who is the third party. People have speculated it is the original ceo of cyberfun tech or a demon. I'd personally lean towards the ceo, a demon would be too random for a story that focuses so much on personal strife. And since I am part of the "jack is alive" theorizers, I also don't believe the "manifestation of jack's anger" theory. Something that keeps bugging me also is why did the person who honked at felix during the car crash didn't report anything, it's weird, as if someone saw the perfect opportunity to use felix as a scapegoat for the murders. Maybe bon has an accomplice?

I'm stepping into tinfoil shadow government territory here though lmao

*I know I am being nitpicky here, call me a law nerd all you know, but I especially get frustrated when people throw around heavy words without knowing their terminology, as that can have pretty bad consequences when applicable to real people. Another small fun fact just for extra trivia knowledge: Age of consent doesn't always mean legal, if you're a minor, please protect yourself. Back on topic, no, what felix did was not murder. It's a shitty, also fairly common douchy behavior in my country called "causing death through driving under the influence of alcohol". Here's the difference:

(The first picture says California, but the same exact thing applies to law articles from multiple countries)

This post probably ended up on a passive aggressive tone, I apologize ToT

[dvasva]

Tbh? I think the radiant emperor duology deserves more critique than it gets in its tag, so after stewing it over for a couple weeks and also discussing it with my friend, I have decided to do it myself.

So. Spoilers for She Who Became the Sun and He Who Drowned The World ahead.

First off, so nobody accuses me of hating the series, I liked the series. I'd say I'd give the first book a 4.5/5, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I like both books. I truthfully skipped the fisting scene, it triggered some dysphoria that I wasn't comfortable with personally but I don't have problem with it existing in the book, it's good where it is, no changes.

No, my critiques come mostly from the second book, hwdts. Which sucks because I absolutely loved Baoxiang in it, it's a well known fact that my ideal type is pretty, really mean, characters. ('What about Madam Zhang?!!!???!? Shes mean and pretty!!' I hear you ask. Give it a second cause i will get to my beloved madam zhang) So, my critiques are mostly organized as 'The first part I didn't like in Hwdtw that signals the thing that became my biggest issue, the bits in the middle that i did like along with the bits that I felt didn't really work well, and Act 3 which is where my issues really were exacerbated.'

By the end of book one, I had a general annoyance but acceptance that Ma Xiuying was a bit of a weak character, and not weak as in 'dang shes a woman and cant fight' or any other sexist way you may interpret that, but weak as in structurally, she didn't really have as much depth as other characters. I thought she didn't have as much time put into her character as others. And yeah you could have a million character analysis essays over Ma and her place in the story and etc, but for me, her setup for the next book as potentially having conflict with Zhu or her own morals was the most interesting part of Ma. In general I think a lot of people tend to overlook this flaw partly because Ma is a cis lesbian character and the main 'love interest' in a book that is usually marketed to people as sapphic, which yeah there is certainly a sapphic relationship in the book but I think saying it's a major part of the book is really giving the relationship a load bearing wall ot isn't strong enough to carry. The Radiant Emperor Duology is not a romance, first and foremost. To describe it as a wlw romance is gonna leave people who read ot specifically for that reason kinda dissappointed by the end of book 2.

My big critiques didn't start until book two, and a particular scene, though. Ma, at the start of book two, was generally filling the niche of 'nagging wife' to zhu, which yknow, is a fine place to start from. I was a little disappointed there was no further discussion of Ma's disapproval of the morality of Zhu's actions, and in fact the dead child was pretty much entirely forgotten by Ma in favor of being Zhu's wife. Which, yknow, sure.

The Scene I had issue with happened (Spoilers once again) after Zhu finally captures Ouyang and imprisons him at her base of operations. Ma, dressed in her empressly regalia enters his room with the intention of being the bigger person. She walks in, looks at the stripped down and humiliated general who killed her father and famously is also really a women hater, and tells him she forgives him for killing her father. And then she gets upset and cries when the prideful general who hates women gives her a dressing down and taunts her and is like 'I'm glad I killed your father'? She nearly cries because Ouyang was mean to her (notably only cause he was mean to her and didn't gracefully accept her forgiveness, not because he killed ehr father) and runs off to Zhu. And Zhu responds with 'Wow, he's just a weirdo, everyone likes you and everyone in existance immediately knows you're a good person and you change people.' Which, my friend suggested before she finished the book, was a case of Zhu placating Ma and dismissing her feelings which would be an interesting dynamic.

Really my hangups with this scene come from multiple parts.

1. Ma' few character traits including being observant and reading people really well (a thing she's praised for in book 1) and having good social intuition are completely thrown out by her thinking being alone with ouyang and forgiving him would be a good idea and then her being shocked and upset when he spat on her forgiveness. And

2. Zhu's response is never once treated by the text as her dismissing Ma and placating her, and Zhu's statement despite never being shown to be true before and that moment being the first time it's ever mentioned, ends up becoming Chekov's moral purity by the end of the book, where the plot hinges on Ma being able to magically heal a damaged character's mind enough for Zhu to win in the end. Which I will get back to. There's a lot of other stuff happening between here and the end.

So, before I get back to Ma and her role in the story, I'll address some other bits from after this scene. Both problems and things I enjoyed generally.

Madam Zhang and her parallels to Baoxiang and her being the absolute queen of dissociating really was interesting (before act 3). She was a very compelling character who I completely understood and felt positively about. She had a way more interesting relationship with gender imo than Ma did, especially in book 2. I didn't really like that she was overwhelmingly shown having sexual villence done to her, that felt weirdly like a punishment. But, I did like her a whole bunch, and I liked the look we got into her head. She was probably my second, maybe third, favorite character in the whole book until Act 3.

I really, really liked Ouyangs dynamic and relationship with Zhu. The weird sexual tension between them, their weird kinda nonsexual but also kinda very sexual S&M relationship. It was somehow the most sensual, sexual part of a book that featured Madam Zhang having sex with multiple people, and Zhu going down on Ma, and a lot of other mentions of sex or scenes involving sex. Tbh I feel like, in a way, Ma was left to the sidelines for most of the book because Ouyang became the primary 'love' interest for a hot second there and the only reason Ma could get her spot back was Ouyang and Zbu's separation. Also, from what I've seen when people talk about this book, they always kinda try to express Zhu and Ouyang's dynamic as very nonsexual and nonromantic, as platonic mostly. And there is no inherent superiority of romantic over platonic, but I think to insist that it is only platonic, and not a strange swirl of romantic, platonic, sexual, frustration and relief, and a swirl of familiarity and vulnerability all wrapped into one, is doing the dynamic a bit of a disservice. And ther is, imo, very clearly a subtle hint of romantic intent and interest on Ouyang's part before he realizes Zhu has a body he hates.

Which is also another point I didn't like. Ouyang and Zhu's relationship end felt off. The entire bit with the pirates felt off, but especially how Ouyang found out about Zbu's body, and how Zhu reacted. I think Ouyang finding out second hand, from a combination of being suspicious and from Jiang saying it, was a poor way for that to be revealed. I think there was a better way for that to happen that woyld have felt more like a betrayl to zhu than this did. The fact that Zhu and Ouyang were so in tune and could see each other perfectly, but this one thing was a blind spot for both of them because of how unaffected by gender Zhu was compared to how overaffected by gender Ouyang was is a really interesting thing to explore, an interesting disconnect between two character's whose entire basis for their relationship is 'like recognizes like'. I think Zhu seeing it as a betrayl would have been more impactful if she had presented this informatuon to Ouyang herself and been rejected than how it went down. And, I think her not realizing Ouyang would be disgusted that he felt connected and felt a sameness to someone with a body he found grotesque and that he feared would have been more interesting for zhu, who views herself outside of womanhood and didnt really think that other people would not see her outside of womanhood, if she was the one who told ouyang herself.

Also, less importantly, think going into Ouyangs annoyance that zhu kept moving his target further away was a good move but it wasn't expanded on as much for my taste. I also really liked it when (spoiler) Xu Da dies, and that entire part despite some minir bits, was extremely good in that Zhu finally has tasted loss. She had, up until that point, been riding a wave of positivity, she was the underdog who won over and over again despite all the odds and despite her own reckless choices. So I did appreciate that everything went wrong for her at least once. that would have been, imo if other things were changed, a good place to end a book two in a three book series. Which will make sense as to why I mention it im a bit.

I also didn't like how Ma was nonexistant unless the plot was like 'ok we need to remind people that Ma exists.'

And there's of course other stuff but those are the main points of acts 1 and 2 that i wasn't fond of or that i liked.

Act 3 is a wholely different behemoth which can be encapsulated with 'I wish it was longer but also different' (courtesy of the convo my friend and I had).

My friend and I both agreed that we liked this kind of courtly drama game it was playing. My friend doesn't tend to like the structure or writing style of a lot of the chinese wuxia, danmei, or courtly drama translated books i read, so it was nice to know that the genre content isn't the issue for her there.

The biggest problems I had with the ending though was 1. I think Baoxiang and Ma had an interesting dynamic despite it being really rushed and how distasteful I found the entire concept of Ma being such a good wholesome goody good good person that she could change Baoxiang, quiet his demons and fix him in some way. That was annoying in an otherwise interesting dynamic. And 2. I think Madam Zhang's character traits and cleverness and all that were wiped away to make her inexplicably jealous of Ma in a way that I don't think fit her character and just served to fit a trope of jealous empress who hates the favored concubine.

So, here's my major proposed changes.

1. Ma gets sent to Khanbaliq extremely early on. Like, act one maybe after ouyang is captured early. This serves three purposes. A. Ma has something to do and is more present in the story. this could be a good xhance to let her actually feel frustrated or upset at Zhu in some tangible way that needs to be resolved or talked thru eventually. B. she gets more time to build a relationship with Baoxiang, whose entire defeat hinges on him having a strong connection with her. and C. Her absence in the other parts of the book feel less like she's being ignored or forgotten. It makes Zhu's lack of haste more than just a way to annoy Ouyang, and turns it into an interesting moral choice. Should she rush to Khanbaliq to save Ma or trust that Ma will be ok in favor of gaining power? Her lack of haste means Ouyang leaves, depressed, and she loses Xu Da, all while she doesn't even have the assurance that Ma is ok, she is truly at her lowest point with nobody with her. If Ma is in Khanbaliq and that's explored, then Zhu and Ouyang can also explore their dynamic without Ma feeling a bit like she is battling for Zhu's attention.

2. Madam Zhang is suspicious of Ma, or feels actually tangibly threatened by Ma. In act 3, Madam Zhang's anger towards Ma feels really out of place. She got exactly what she wants, she is empress, her emperor isn't interested in removing her from her position and her position isn't threatened by anyone. Baoxiang won't get rid of her, he won't demote her, he has shown zero sign of ever even considering it. So, why is Madam Zhang jealous of Ma? Imo, especially since she very clearly has dissociated into oblivion and has no love or affection for anyone anymore, and no real desire or motivation to secure her position further aside from maybe producing an heir to make sure shes taken care of after Baoxiang dies, there's no reason for her to be inextricably jealous of Ma. It kinda just erases all of Madam Zhang's political savvy and cunning into jealous, petty woman, and that sucks. If she was suspicious of Ma's intention, or Baoxiang genuinely expressed spmething that actively threatened her position, her hatred of Ma would make sense, but instead she hates Ma cause Ma is ugly and spends every night with Baoxiang. She hated rice buckets concubine cause that concubine used a lot of funds and competition genuinely made her position less stable. She needs better motivation for hating Ma.

3. As I mentioned earlier, Zhu needs to be the one to tell Ouyang that she does not have a dick. That's just all around better, it feels more like a betrayl to bare your secrets and be rejected, etc etc.

4. The duology should have been a trilogy, with book 3 starting when Zhu is at her lowest, ouyang is dead, ma is in khanbaliq, Xu Da is dead, a new guy is the emperor. This is where a book three should have started. in a series that has so many important characters, i feel like it needs more space. she's in a 10 gallon tank when really she needs a 30 gallon tank. Lots of it, especially towards the end of book 2, felt rushed and the extra book will absolutely push that back a bit and make it less rushed.

Anyways that's my critique of The Radiant emperor duology. Once Again, I liked the series, its one of my favorites i've read all year. I don't dislike it, and having a critique or opinion about something doesnt mean I didn't like the book or understand the book (because obviously if i understood it i would understand why its flawless). I liked it, there are things I wish were different, that's it.

[archivist-the-knight]

hi. xiv analysis. i'm putting some stuff under the cut because that's all things relating to spoilers for the later half of the video jic.

firstly, xiv is a tiefling, but the exact tiefling subrace isn't specified in the video. i'd assume they're a Mephistopheles tiefling, given their appearance in game and the fact that meph tieflings are proficient in arcane magic. they're also known for being in more colder climates. i'll bring this up later.

they're a wild magic sorcerer, which is, in my opinion, super important to know to understand about their character. there's a multitude of ways I can describe it, but I think dnd 5e does a good job as it corresponds with Xiv's story. (link)

[Your innate magic comes from the wild forces of chaos that underlie the order of creation. You might have endured exposure to some form of raw magic, perhaps through a planar portal leading to Limbo, the Elemental Planes, or the mysterious Far Realm. Perhaps you were blessed by a powerful fey creature or marked by a demon. Or your magic could be a fluke of your birth, with no apparent cause or reason. However it came to be, this chaotic magic churns within you, waiting for any outlet.]

now. the spoilery content ^_^. also because this post is going to be like so long every kid with autism. [also very big warning for in-depth discussion of child abuse, particularly from a father, and the affects that has on said child. if you don't wanna read that part you don't have to]

xiv's father, even with the 13 other arcane batteries, is a very powerful man. he's a meph tiefling, giving him proficiency with arcane magic, and is probably a sorcerer like xiv. so, given that... the most logical explanation of xiv gaining the wild aspect of their magic is through enduring exposure to raw magic. Sure, it could potentially be "marked by a demon" given the fact they're a tiefling, but... Xiv's father isn't the best person.

bringing back the meph tieflings living in cold climates thing!! xiv mentioned they lived in a tower of sorts, far enough away where their father could keep them secluded. judging by the usage of negative space and scene layouts in their background animatic, we can retain the information that besides their father, they basically knew very little about the outside world growing up.

^^ tldr abt that. the animatic noticably gets more detailed as xiv both gets older and starts to doubt their father, and has its most detail when they have the wild magic explosion, and when they're escaping only to be put on the mindflayer ship ^_^.

anyway. with all of this to say, xiv's father is not a good man at all. he's done this 13 other times before getting to xiv, and didn't even give them an actual name. just the roman designation of it. he gave xiv a false, hopeful promise about how if they "honed their power, they could leave the tower", but fully intended to keep them there. it is slightly implied that their father got more abusive, more impatient and violent towards Xiv the more they messed up the more their magic lashed out even though it was wild by nature.

this is not good fatherly behavior!! telling them something that would never come true, especially basing it on their skill, they must have the worst damned imposter syndrome known to man!! second guessing themselves, thinking they're never good enough or having to check with the man who made that rule to see if anything they do is good... that isn't healthy!! that isn't a good thing to teach to your child!!

now back to xiv. that one "sex book" throwaway thing is brief but it says. so much about how xiv's father raised them?? i do not care if im looking too much into it but it literally implies that xiv just. doesn't know a lot about things beyond what their father's told them or what were in the books he probably gave them as a kid. combine that with the fact that they immeadily "push out" the mournful thoughts about rai's death to deal with "more important matters"... oh my god... they call me mx head of the xiv emotional support group... the ceo if you will...

and now... another important stepping stone to understanding xiv... rai's death.

first off xiv shapeshifting in the middle of the fight and going "no, not now, goddamnit-" its said in such a tone thats just so... not only is it because it's during such an important moment while they're fighting someone they consider a friend. it's almost as if they've been conditioned to believe that aspect of them isn't good. even though its what helps distract Rai so Tal can attack him. it's like they view it as something that needs to stop instead of something they can't control. which is. probably what their father saw it as! something that xiv needed to stop doing instead of honing to their abilities!

secondly... xiv is a sorcerer. you might be asking "eden!! weren't we just over this?" yeah but. rai... is also a sorcerer. he has the power to harness the storm. the first thing xiv says to rai during the fight is "you see, this is exactly why sorcerers shouldn't learn how to read! you always acted like you're so much better than me; we never should have trusted you!"

and that line in general. it's so. it's the last thing xiv says before rai dies. how did rai act like he was better than xiv? did they tell him this beforehand? is it something they kept locked up, never expressing until this moment? was it on purpose, or was it accidental? was it xiv, seeing rai do things they never learned how to do, and feeling jealous, angry, that he had a chance and they didn't? that rai got the joy of not knowing his parents, while xiv knew their father all too well?

and the sorcerer part... it's not only a dig at rai but themselves. they should've never learned how to read. they shouldn'tve been forced to spend ages in that library, learning spells and incantations instead of just trying to be a little kid. its so subtle yet it speaks so much about how xiv views themselves.

okay. that is basically it for canon stuff. this next part is headcanons/theories that i think are important for the discussion but aren't canon but. i still wanna yap <3

I think the tower/castle xiv grew up in is like, in a snowy mountain close to baldur's gate. it's quite the hike to get there and back but you can kind of see it through certain higher areas of the city. the tower is either positioned behind or to the side of the mountain. the side would be so evil because xiv seeing only a glimpse of the city...

i have this theory that xiv's father was a general or colonel for a war that tal was involved in, with tal's mother being a general as well. thus, i think xiv's only contact with people is either the other generals of this war, or their potential children that were brought over during the occasional meeting or dinner party. very vauge but regardless. smirks.

finally i think xiv was allowed out only on very slim occasions, usually when they begged their father hands and knees or when they did good on training. they were allowed to go with their father into the town of baldur's gate, but if they strayed from him they would be punished. severely. xiv usually went to bed that night hungry, in pain, but happy^_^

ok thats it for real. love peace and joy have a wonderful day <333

[liyazaki]

MOR! My beloved. I can always expect the truth from you. Overall thoughts on Between Us? I know the final ep was not your fave but how about the series? What would you want to keep? What would you want to change?

Eboni, my darling- hoo, boy. you're about to get way more than you bargained for, but I got some Thoughts™️ & some Things™️ to say.

disclaimer: Between Us was a sweet, serviceable, inoffensive show. I mostly enjoyed watching it & I loved being back in the UWMA universe, however tangentially.

speaking to the collective “you” here: if you loved the show from start to finish, I'm sincerely happy for you! if it'll lessen your BU fandom experience to read critiques- which is valid & completely understandable- click away. I swear I'm not trying to rain on your parade (or argue with anyone, which I won't be- period).

also, let's check ourselves: this is a show. it's not that serious- it couldn't be less serious, actually. sometimes I just like to go off the analytical deep end...it's a good time for a nerd like me. this is my house (my blog) & I'm just having fun, throwing digital paint around.

with all that out of the way, let's jump into it.

UWMA set an extremely high narrative standard. we knew from scene one the writers weren't messing around. that opening is burned into my memory forever.

from compelling flashbacks, to multiple couples that had something for everyone, to little plot details weaved in from the beginning that only made sense later- they knew exactly what story they were trying to tell & they told it in a big way. it was tightly constructed, cleanly delivered and hit all the right notes for me personally.

UWMA is a tough act to follow. in the end, it felt like Between Us barely tried. to quote an MDL reviewer (before the finale even aired): in with a bang, out with a whimper.

step one of any good story is solid character development. it's what draws us in, making & keeping us emotionally invested. we have to like these characters- and know enough about them- in order to care. that- and a good, solid plot- is what sustains our attention.

in a pretty atypical way, Between Us had serious emotional fan investment long before it had basically any character development (thanks to BounPrem's chemistry, IMO).

Win and Team had roughly 31 minutes of total screentime in UWMA, but you'd have never known it from the fever-pitch fandom support years before its release. we didn't have much real character knowledge or depth to go off of, but many of us came into this show ravenous for more of their story (raises hand).

the show's over now and, disappointingly, I don't feel like I learned much about either Win or Team that I didn't already know. we did see them struggle- Team with his guilt and insecurities; Win with his vague intimacy aversion and self worth issues.

Team and Win had plenty of things between (heh) the two of them to overcome- so what went wrong?

for me, Between Us suffered from a tragic case of barely-scratching-the-surface character development (there was so much there to play with narratively & yet- sigh), paired with serious flaws in the rising action.

every single story in existence uses rising action. to quote Henry of The Closer Look, a media analyst I like: "rising action is basically narrative tension. it's the way the conflict builds as the story goes along."

when a story utilizes rising action effectively, the audience ends up feeling almost elated by the end. it's almost like we actually went on the same journey as the characters, and we now get to bask alongside them in just how far they've come. we want to see characters we care for improve, persevere. overcome, conquer.

when rising action is handled correctly, the plot progression looks something like this.

via Henry's excellent analysis on why TLOU2 divided its fandom so thoroughly

Between Us had tension, it had conflict- but it looked something like this (I'd add way more hills, personally).

"what you're seeing here is an abomination of story structure." hey- Henry said it; not me.

the conflicts went up and down throughout the story. Team internally spirals; Win does something sweet and pulls him out of it. everything seems fine; Win pulls back.

rinse, wash, repeat in an endless cycle, made worse by the fact that they struggled with- and apparently overcame- the same. exact. issues, over and over, the entire time.

conflicts that seemed to be resolved came back exactly as they were, sometimes multiple times in a single episode. by episode 7 or so, it was getting tedious. by the end, I was just bummed.

for me, watching Between Us was going around in circles, hoping we were working towards some actually-important climax that never came. and I wanted to believe we were going somewhere, right up until the bitter beige-on-beige end.

there were no scenes that actually made me hold my breath, ala Bad Buddy’s confession-of-legends on the rooftop. no repeating themes, masterfully culminating in the finale (running up the cape in ITSAY). Between Us left me with an itch for depth and impact that only fan fics can scratch at this point (bless you writers).

yeah, Win and Team ended up together- of course they did. I don't think anyone had any doubts they would eventually. but standing at the finish line, do I care that they ended up together?

I hate to say it, but- not really. they didn't give me enough to make it feel meaningful- like it actually meant something. it just- is. yay? I guess?

this post was brutal enough, but to answer your question about what I'd keep & what I'd change? it's hard to pick when the whole thing just felt like special episodes (filled with lots of cute, sweet moments, to be fair) with an enormous dash of missed opportunity.

all in all, I don't regret watching but it's a universe I'll only be returning to via fan fic fixes- and UWMA, my forever top 3 BL beloved.

[ghostlycoze]

What do you think about the scene in the Cave of Tempters when snakes turned Sohone into a demon?

I'll answer these both at once since they're quite similar

Ooh, I honestly think that's one of my favourite scenes for a couple reasons!

Despite Mune and Glim being my favourite characters, they admittedly don't receive a whole lot of character development. That's the big appeal of this scene, we really get a deeper look on the abilities of the snakes, and the real point where Sohone's character arc kicks off. Not to mention Phospho's sacrifice, and the little conversation the two have before that point.

~little ramble under the cut~

With the snakes, we had only seen how they work with Leeyoon. It's a rather fast scene, so it's explored a little less in depth (although I must say the way they completely encase Leeyoon in the end of that scene looked amazing, like it was a coffin). Though by this point they knew how quickly it was to corrupt someone, especially if they have enough negativity brewing. Leeyoon was already brimming with jealousy and anger, so he was an easy target. Sohone was a little less so, though there was certainly a couple points where his cocky, proud attitude cracked (e.g. when Mune and Glim didn't respond well to his behaviour while they travel through the forest, that little "I'm terrible with the ladies" line, or... something along those lines, upon seeing Mune and Glim bond). He's got insecurities, and seeing Mune succeed when he didn't even want this only reinforces those when Sohone had been training for so long. He holds onto the idea that Mune is a bad guardian as long as he can, and once the snakes reach him, they feed off of it.

I vaguely mentioned it in the last Mune-related ask, but I particularly like the body language they gave Sohone in that scene. On all fours, growling and looking around wildly; much like a cornered animal. Scared, threatened, caged. The more corrupted he became, the more these aggressive behaviours grew, until Phospho was able to talk him down and shed him of the demonic rock growing over him.

It's a moment where Sohone's character changes. He sees the cowardly ex-guardian make a brave sacrifice, and gains a new perspective on Mune in the moment too. Even with Phospho's "Going out in style. For the ladies, right?" joke, Sohone remains serious (and, well, devastated to see Phospho die), his focus shifted, the gravity of his position finally weighing on him. His ego cast aside, when Mune and Glim arrive he doesn't hesitate to agree to do this together with Mune.

Big ol ramble, my bad, I just love analysing this character! Sohone arguably received the most development (aside from Necross, I'd say, with Phospho close behind Sohone), and it's nice to see these kind of "all brawn, no brain, egotistical asshole" characters actually grow beyond that archetype.

Thanks for the excuse to talk about these silly movie characters some more! I'll always be open to more conversation and analysis :)

[absolutebl]

Hi! I love all of your analysis! Could you do one of Mile and Apo's chemistry? And are you going to do a more in-depth analysis of the whole show? 👀 I'd love to see that. Thank you!

Hi hi, thank you for the lovely compliments! 

I opted out of a full review of KinnPorsche because everyone else was doing so much and talking about it. You can read what I did think on MDL.

My short summation is as follows (be warned, I was not a fan of this show). I’m not tagging my posts for KP because the fandom is so rabid and I don’t feel like arguing about it. 

KinnPorsche Thoughts 

VegasPete were in one drama; KimChay were in another; KinnPorsche were in each of those randomly but then sometimes in their own extremely slapstick cheese-fest alt-reality + Tankhun. There were clearly 2 directors with 2 distinct and conflicting points of view, who apparently never had a single conversation with each other. The whole thing felt discombobulated both from script to direction to post production. 

Was this show good? Nope.

Was it absorbing? Sure. 

Was it well acted? Absolutely. 

Were the sex scenes great? Yes. 

Were the fight scenes awesome? Actually yeah (special props to Jeff for the hand-to-hand stuff). 

Did I enjoy the kinky bits? Certainly. 

But all that said: the VegasPete universe of KP was the only universe I really enjoyed and would like to revisit, and I only got that 1/5 of the time. Mathematics is working against this one, for me personally. 

So I guess I, at least, am still waiting for the perfect mafia BL. I think it might be up to Japan at this juncture. 

As a result of fan fervor meets my own hearty indifference, I don’t really know how to judge this show but I have to go with my heart, and KP didn’t win it. 

7/10

Chemistry of the 3 Pairs 

Much as I love Jeff I thought KimChay’s chemistry was non-existent and the producers made a big mistake losing Gameplay. He would have done a much better job with the role for all he’d too old. Sorry not sorry. I say that not because I object to busting up pairs (I’m actually in favor of this) but because I think Jeff’s understandable paranoia about Barcode’s age leaked into their performance. There is a reason why actors are usually cast closer in age for comfort reasons, also to avoid minors (Although I do talk about the hung effect when it works, it works really well.)  

My thoughts on VegasPete’s winning chemistry here. 

I thought KinnPosche also had decent (if very cheeky) chemistry. It got a bit too sappy for me in the second half, much like the evolution of TharnType’s chemistry from season 1 to season 2. 

Also, like MewGulf, I got good friends + power differential + game to fuck with us from MileApo. But I am fine with that. I like it when the actor pairs fuck with dumb IRL shipping culture and idiot fandom. Partly I think we’re right back in early MaxTul territory: when we have a rich kid playing the game, he comes to the table with enough wealth and status and publicity training to torpedo straight-boy ego fears. But are MileApo as smart as MaxTul about brand? I don’t know. 

Will they be MaxTul level kings of fuckatude going forward? They could be, but like I said, I get more MewGulf vibes from them, so I think they will fold as a pair after the fan crazy does. Here’s hoping they go down classy. 

[basingstokemercury]

Okay. They asked for it, and I am unleashed.

All those seasons of noting and storing every tiny hint, finally put to good use.

I present:

Why That Twist makes no sense at all.

(spoilers for DS9 S5E16, and many episodes along the way. this is a thorough analysis of everything wrong with that episode's revelation.)

First, I'll go over what little may support this plotline.

We know that Bashir either has no family or a poor relationship with them.

Evidence:

Armageddon Game - When Sisko believes Bashir has been killed, he asks Dax to "find out how I can contact Julian's family". Clearly this isn't a family he speaks about much or has introduced to his Starfleet circle.

Homefront - Before Odo leaves for Earth, O'Brien asks him to check on his family. Odo asks Bashir if he can do a similar favour, and is answered negatively.

However...

In "Melora", Bashir says his father was a Federation diplomat on some remote planet. Is this the irresponsible drifter we see onscreen? It hardly seems likely.

Let me also note that mirror!Bashir doesn't seem developmentally disabled in any way, and surely he wouldn't have had access to this gene therapy? (this doesn't prove anything, though - it could just support our Bashir's indignation that his parents made this decision after judging a six-year-old.)

Now, to break down the actual claims of the episode.

First, the idea that Bashir's physical ability has been greatly improved - to practically superhuman levels, if that ending "gag" (I use quotes because it feels incredibly mean-spirited and I hate it but that's another matter) is to be believed.

This is pretty easy to contradict.

He's a good athlete, yes. Captain of the Academy racquetball team according to "Rivals", and a good enough tennis player to at least consider playing professionally - the statement in "Melora" that he was out of his depth in official tournaments seems to be contradicted by "Distant Voices", but this is said by someone trying to mentally break him and he doesn't seem fazed by the claim.

But surely if that were the case, we wouldn't see him lose fights nearly as often?

He gets better at defending himself with time, but is rarely able to take on a capable opponent single-handedly. If I may make an analysis...

Dax - His combat style is clumsy and amateurish. He goes down within seconds. This could be attributed to being unprepared for a fight, but considering how easily the guard takes him out I'm highly skeptical.

The Storyteller - He bursts into combat to help O'Brien fend off an attacker, but is barely able to hold his own; in fact, he becomes the one in danger after intervening, and it's O'Brien who pulls the now-distracted opponent off him.

The Alternate - His struggles appear to be completely useless here, from what I can tell the tentacle releases him of its own accord.

Armageddon Game - He spends most of the fight taking cover, and when he does attack it's from behind. His tactics are again clumsy, his struggle to take down one man very obvious besides O'Brien's skill.

The Wire - Garak has a lot more experience, and he's holding back so as not to hurt a friend. Even with that considered, though, he doesn't come off too well.

Crossover - He manages to stun a guard and grab a phaser. Considering how he goes about it though, I honestly think he got lucky and the guard simply wasn't expecting anything of the kind.

The Search pt 1 - The fight scene is difficult to follow, but he seems to knock down one soldier and then get pinned. His combat style does look marginally better, I think.

Past Tense pt 1 - He takes down one man, then seems equally matched with the other. At the very least his technique has improved.

Our Man Bashir - The opening scene doesn't count, as it's very obviously programmed to happen the way it does. I'd say it's pretty telling that he only grazes Garak, though - holding back on a friend could be an excuse here, but if the dialogue is to be believed he was shooting to kill. And surely, with his supposed skill, he wouldn't have missed?

Nor The Battle To The Strong - This is an extreme situation, but it's still possible that improved reflexes should have enabled him to reach the runabout without being knocked out.

By Inferno's Light - He takes an occupied Jem'Hadar by surprise with an improvised knife. This is the most effective he's ever been at close quarters, and honestly I was surprised even allowing for the fact that he's not unarmed.

Honestly, after actually going through every fight he's involved in he's even less of a soldier than I thought.

And that's not mentioning that he and O'Brien are canonically evenly matched at darts according to "Accession", and the excuse that he's been letting O'Brien win feels very feeble considering he could have done the same with Morn if he were rigging the game for fairness.

I think the idea of physical enhancement is adequately debunked.

When it comes to the mental side, things appear less clear. There's no doubt that he's highly intelligent, so I won't contest that. (Note, however, that according to Dax in "Armageddon Game", he had to work very hard to graduate as well as he did - and we know from multiple accounts that he only graduated second in the end.)

What I will take issue with, however, is psychology. He doesn't act like a person in his situation would be expected to, and we get no hint of it from our looks into his mind.

Begin psychological profile, Dr. Julian Subatoi Bashir.

Comes in very naïve, even dangerously so. His early episodes have shades of Simon Tam to me: a pampered boy from a wealthy family, who's had everything handed to him until he didn't. This is what I expected out of his backstory reveal.

Highly extroverted, slightly in love with his own voice. Enjoys making new friends (and lovers), but gets nervous around less outgoing people. Doesn't always pick up on social cues like when to shut up.

"Ambitious" is the word used in-universe, but I think "enthusiastic" might be a better descriptor. He wants to see everything, do everything, have every exciting experience he can.

Very self-assured, bordering on arrogant. He's thoroughly aware of his skill in the medical field, and proud of it.

Excellent bedside manner, and high emotional intelligence. More than any other character, he can handle difficult emotional situations competently and give good advice, especially on matters of the heart.

Always determined to come out on top, whatever the odds.

Gentle and compassionate, unable to let anyone suffer or die when there's the slightest chance of saving them. Refuses to become hardened or cynical in the face of a moral dilemma.

And he does have a very boyish side to him, delighting in role-play and friendly banter.

As to his inner conflicts, we have little information.

To return to "Armageddon Game", Dax says that his school diaries mention a constant fear of failure. (We'll be coming back to those diaries one last time before this is over)

In "Distant Voices", Altovar tries to rattle him by claiming he always gives up when a situation gets tough. We see this to be false on countless occasions, though, including in that same episode.

The only real insecurity we see from him is in "Explorers", when the valedictorian of his class arrives on the station, and it seems he still hasn't gotten over placing second. As it turns out, his competitive streak has misled him and he mentally blew the situation far beyond its actual status.

Now, let's compare that to how this backstory reveal would likely have affected him.

Being developmentally delayed as a child is actually a detail I like. It explains his tenacity and pride in his accomplishments. Unfortunately, that's just about all I approve of here.

At the age of around fifteen, he finds out that his parents, disappointed by his early struggles, had him genetically enhanced to remedy them.

The people whose job it was to care for and support him decided that, instead of trying to figure out why their son was having difficulties or accept that, at the age of six, he was lagging behind his peers, it would be easier to have him fixed through radical alteration.

(I'm not going to discuss the parents' side of the story or whether the justification holds up. It's not their psyches being examined here.)

A teenage boy, shining at everything he does and happy at his success, realises that he was born a totally different person.

He feels betrayed, all his accomplishments suddenly undermined. He feels as though his true self were murdered in that hospital as a six-year-old; himself a literal changeling, a perfect child replacing fallible humanity.

(This casts an interesting light on his being the only cast member effectively replaced by the in-universe changelings, let alone twice. But as I refuse to consider this twist canon, it won't be analysed here.)

And he knows, or soon finds out, that if this were ever made public, his life and his parents' would both be destroyed.

So:

He has a life-changing secret to keep. The people responsible for him betrayed that trust when he was too young to understand what was being done.

Would he really be so naïve about humanoid nature?

Would he not only allow but encourage Dax to read his diaries, even if he thought he'd edited out everything suspicious?

Would he be outgoing and eager to make friends, when every close relationship is a new person to guard his words around?

Would he be so pleased with his talent, knowing how he came by it and feeling so guilty about those means?

So excited by intrigue and espionage, when he himself kept such a deadly secret?

And would he be so willing to forgive those who hurt him, if that first betrayal is always there to torment him?

I don't know about you, but I highly doubt it.

[world-cinema-research]

Week 5 World Cinema Research Blog - By Natalyn Wakeling

Flash Dance 1983

The film I chose to watch this week was Flash Dance 1983, directed by Adrian Lyne. This film has significance to me because it is a very ambitious, and romantic film. This film is not significant for the best reasons to critics. Roger Ebert described it as "a movie that won a free 90-minute shopping spree in the Hollywood supermarket". (Ebert film Review) The story line of the film is pretty surface level. It is about a young girl making a living as a welder, and dancing at night. She is discovered by her boss one night while performing, and they develop a romance as he tries to help her get the most out of her talent. Lyne budgeted the film at 7 million dollars. The film did about 200 million in box office, making it a very profitable film. These numbers make this film a commercial success.

One film I thought of when it came to the storyline of this movie was A Star is Born. The trope of a working lady having a passion they do on the side and getting recognition from it is seen in both. However, I would say A Star is Born did a far better job with this story line, and managed to make it a deep and meaningful film. I'd day that this film definitely inspired many future films with its general storyline.

As stated above, film critics were not the biggest fan of this movie. Roger Ebert in particular rated the film 1 and a half stars. This is the lowest rating I have ever seen on one of his reviews this far. From a critic standpoint this is understandable. The plot lacked depth, character development, and had a lot of long dancing scenes that served no purpose as Ebert points out. He believes that Jennifer Beals was wasted potential in this film, and that she "only needs to find an agent with a natural talent for turning down scripts." I agree with Ebert from a critical standpoint, but from a commercial production standpoint I can see why this film did well. It was entertaining enough and had a good romance story.

In the year 1983, one of the most costly hurricanes hit the United States. Hurricane Alicia hit Gavelston, Texas on the night of August 18, 1983. This caused immense damages financially and physically to a large sum of people. This event is important to the release of the movie, because a lot of people seek entertainment in times of despair, and this film definitely could have provided that for some. (Hurricane Alicia PDF)

Flash Dance has 4.7 star rating on Amazon, which means the general viewers enjoyed the film. A lot of viewers from around the time the film was released appreciate the sound track and Jennifer Beals. However, many also agree the the storyline is flat at times and there are remarkably boring moments of the film. I am able to see the mixed reviews on this film. I understand from a film critic standpoint, this film does not check many boxes that a strong film would. However, I can see the commercial appeal, and how some might find entertainment in this film.

The film felt like it was from the 80's. There was a bit of grunge, and the music selection was very representative of the times. I would say one thing the movie did well was some of the lines of dialogue.

Nick: Don't you understand? When you give up your dream, you die.

This quote was one of the only deeper moments of the film. Alex was debating on ending her dance career, and Nick tells her this to really get her to reflect. This is true because if we are not living for our dreams, what are we really trying to accomplish?

Nick: So, what's a dancer doing working as a welder? 

Alex Owens: A girl's got to make a living. 

This quote pretty much sums the film up as a whole. Nick is in disbelief that someone with Alex's talent is not making a living from it.

One scene of this film that stood out to me in particular was the final dance scene for Alex's audition. It was not a traditional performance that the dance academy usually saw, but it had a lot of passion and attention to detail in it.

I also thought the soundtrack made the film standout. there were good songs in there that even my mom was singing as I watched.

It is very cut and clear that this film is conventional. It is a very mainstream Hollywood film, with a surface level storyline. I believe that this film was produced to make money. The marketing, actors, and storyline are all factors visible in other conventional films. The storyline in particular has been done many times, and is very typical of a mainstream movie.

Overall, Flash Dance was an entertaining film, however, I will probably never think about it again. There is nothing about the film that leaves you reflecting or enticed to recall the events of the film. It makes sense why this film was viewed as a flop to critics, but gained general public favor.

[plothooksinc]

fic writer asks: 🌈🎈☯️?

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

There is not! Not that I don't work hard/struggle with my writing, but if I'm having difficulty with a scene you can bet I've been whining about it to anyone who'll listen |D For scenes/themes I struggle with in general, though, definitely the connective tissue scenes which are required between Plot Point A and Plot Point B. In which just enough has to happen to pass some time or set things up, and very often my mind goes very ???? ????? for those and I keep sort of tapping away with random lines until something clicks and I'm like "ah yes this will work". (I can think of themes I would definitely struggle with, but those are themes that would not tend to surface in my work at all, for a variety of reasons. You won't ever get high angst in my stories, for instance.)

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

My style tends to be a kind of bastardisation between Janny Wurts, Guy Gavriel Kay, and Stephen King. 8|a It does change on the regular, subtle fluid changes which largely depend on who I've been reading more of lately-- I'm very easily influenced and inspired by the styles of others if I fall in love with their writing, but I suspect I have a base that stays the same underneath. The more confident I get with a piece of writing, the more experimental the writing may get, and sometimes I start something on a whim and go HEY YEAH LET'S BE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and I end up first person present tensing all over the place or some such weirdness. I shift slightly based on the kind of story I want to write. Most of my stuff falls into the action/adventure category so that's what you'll see most of the time. But then I want to write something that focuses far more on environment and harsh reality, and I'll sit down and try and really make my writing reflect that. I can see the difference. (It's much, much harder and doesn't come naturally. I'd put Snowblind in this category.) So...mostly fixed, wavers a bit at the edges, then changes drastically for drastically different themed projects (but probably veers closer to what most people are familiar with as I go on those). ☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

Oof. Okay, so, I actually have a social anxiety disorder and a generalised anxiety disorder, so... I can say that, for me, it's very hard to reach out to other fandom people. When they engage with me first I can meet them on their level and it's much easier from there as my brain has tagged them as "oh they want to talk to me! :D :D" and thus it's easier? This is why my reviews to everyone ever are extremely terrible and one note because my mind goes utterly blank when I try to tug on someone else's sleeve and go "...hey", but I can reply to people just fine! The onus shouldn't be on other people, though, so I keep trying. For the other part of the question-- I think engagement is very important. It allows people in fandom to feel seen, to engage and share their love of characters and find other people on their wavelength, and it keeps fandoms healthy and colourful and alive. (It also creates drama, yes, so navigate the waters with care and don't feed the trolls.) So I'm always happy to talk fandom with people and I reply to all comments I get these days (I did go through a huge portion of time I didn't respond at all and I'm sorry to all those people who wrote me at Underdark or elsewhere and didn't get a response, you were seen and I loved you) and I'm happy just being silly in my own corner with anyone who wants to come and be silly with me. \o/ ...just don't ask me for in depth analysis on stuff because I'm... decent at writing that in a fictional sense but not so much on the fly. lmao. Thank you! Ask meme is here.

[life-rewritten]

Can please do an analysis of kinnporche post 6 eps? It's just been soo long since I have seen u post abt not me. I'm eager abt kp coz the first 2 eps were solid atleast for me.

Anyways it's more of a request would love to hear anything u got to say from this ask if aren't into kp.

Hi,

Omg this is so nice, so yeah Not me did make me disappear unfortunately i was very upset about GramBlack situation I just wasn't happy about what was taken away from not me. So I did kind of lose the will to write so much about BL shows for a bit. With KinnPorsche I am excited about where it could go, I actually with this show am quite shallow, I'd advice you to follow me on fangirling blog so you see more about my little comments on the show when I reblog pictures and stories, mostly fangirl but for Cutie pie and KinnPorsche I do write some reblogs where I write about the characters and my own thoughts there. But yes with KP I feel like I'm gonna be quite shallow with the focus, I'm very attracted to the cast, so my mind tends to blank when I'm watching and I like the most toxic couple in the show the most because of my bias towards the actors. As much as I do notice the depth and analysis that could derive from KP, especially focusing on Vegas, Kinn and Pete... It's hard for me to want to to write about Vegas because of the morally grey mindset needed to understand or 'accept' his characterisation and plot, obviously i normally do write about morally grey characters but I was trying harder this year to kind of not have to 'defend' or rant about problematic characters to a woke audience that is close minded, so that's my issue with analysing KinnPorsche. Already I can see people disliking Kinn for just being an a hole, and it's like if they think that's worse then I dread when they see Vegas for who he really is, and other characters. Not sure if I'm making sense...

Likewise I actually know most of the spoilers for book 1 of KP so analysing it like I did with not me it will be difficult to not be biased using what I know from the book, (and that hurt me when watching Not me when analysing Black, it honestly broke me) so that's another thing I'm struggling with. Knowing the book, and seeing how the directing is going I think KP will become deeper and intriguing, I think there's depth to all the characters, and dimensionality but I don't know if I can trust the directors to follow through when I don't know what they're like. For example I already have some issues with the sound directors in episode 1 because they don't use music enough in the show where it could make an impact. And I was slightly disappointed with how they introduced Vegas and Pete after seeing how they introduced Kinn Porsche previously. So again I'm scared of this pattern where a couple I obsess about will end up hurting me because the directors don't give them energy and time... However the cinematographer of KP is ITSAY's (I analysed this show too if you remember or have been on here for a while) and I love his directing choices, especially his color theories, and symbolism he adds to his scenes. So if there's more symbolism like that from the directors for example I enjoyed seeing the chess symbolism in episode 1 foreshadowing a lot about some of the characters role, but then I feel like it's not a proper symbol if they don't continue to use it and hint at it in the episodes you know? So I'm still unsure about the directing styles since there's 3 directors (award winning as well) they all seem to have their own way to do stuff, so maybe after episode 6 I will get the hang of it and then want to analyse more about what they're saying.

So there is depth in the show, there are interesting characterizations and subtexts that could mean one thing that is important. For example, they've already foreshadowed Vegas, Porsche, and Pete's arc which is very important to all the characters one way or another. It's one of my fave things to analyze and think about in the book so I'm excited to see what they'll do with that since they've hinted at it by vegas smiling at Porsche him being oblivious (important) and thinking its for Pete, and Pete jokingly smiling and accepting it (foreshadowing). And we get Vegas interaction with his father (i squealed because a lot to unpack in that we now know the show is making it look like he's spying on Porsche for his father's request but we know if it is him (it's his colors that are shown when the female assassin is speaking to someone but it might not be necessarily be him i think it is) that he's already spying on Porsche for his own agenda not just his father's, we know he is targeting Kinn, and we know Kinn also hates him, this makes us know that yes on the surface Vegas and Porsche's arc is going to be explored, it's connected to whatever secrets Korn has for why he brought Porsche to the family, it's also connected to whatever bad thing changed Kinn and made him cruel to others (since with his actions it infers Vegas is out to get him removed from his power) and we know Vegas is also attracted to Porsche (by his tell me something I don't know reply when the girl said he was fit) lots to already start putting together when focusing on that arc. Lastly, I mentioned it in one of my reblogs on the other blog, but Vegas and Porsche are introduced in a way that shows similarities to each other (a bit) and that's the overprotectiveness and duty to keep their brother safe, they both have little brothers who they basically go feral about when it comes to safety. Both the older sibling with more responsibility. We can see it on his face on how he protects Macau in episode 2 that he cares about his little brother. Kinn has a little brother too with Kim and he acts as the oldest since Thankhun isn't mentally able to take on that role properly, but i think that similarity with Vegas and Porsche is interesting and something to keep note of too. Also is Vegas the big Villain? For now, it seems like it, it seems like a petty family fight for who should have the power, and Vegas same age as Kinn feels like he's should be the one instead ala Scar in Lion King towards Mufasa right? But is that really it? Is that what the big villain arc is pointing to or is there more? I wish his introduction was grander than his back or his smile at Porsche but it did foreshadow exactly what his arc would be focused on, and how Pete loyal and kind and smiley Pete who just wants to be Kinn's right-hand man and idolizes him, how Pete becomes the one instead that Vegas is supposed to be smiling for, and is the one who will end up being part of Vegas's arc too...

With regards to KinnPorsche if I don't write essays about it there might be podcasts that appear if I really do fall for the show. Right now it's giving me what i need (but that's because I know most of the first book spoilers) so I wasn't whiplashed by the comedy in episode 2 etc... So yeah we'll see what happens if it'll be on this blog I write essays about them, or if I'll just keep fangirling and making small observations over on my other blog.

However, if you have any questions or theories about the show you want me to talk about, or write about, you can ask me here, because as you can see even when I don't mean to by when I answer questions I tend to write whatever I feel at that moment. So if there's a character or a plot or symbol you notice in the show you want me to go deeper about (like the relationship with KP, or their characterizations or foreshadowing, etc) let me know. I will always reply and answer any asks about any episode or show.

Thank you for the ask I really appreciate it. Sorry about the long answer and random rambling, hope this is what you wanted to know. There's a huge focus from me on these three characters when analyzing the show Vegas, Kinn, and Pete but Porsche (surprising enough I actually am not a huge fan of book 1 Porsche at the start don't come for me) seems to be getting a fish out of water diamond in the rough plotline, so he could become even deeper and fun for me to analyze especially when he starts to fall for Kinn and put everything even his life to show and save him. So lots of things to focus on and if the directing continues to be great then you'll see me focus on them.

Thanks :)

If you want I’ll try whenever I make a comment/analysis about a show to always tag it on my other blog so you can click on the tag and see if I have written any analysis on the reblogs.:) 

[urshitarespopinions]

What To Love About: Butters Stotch

Hello, random tumblr user! Mightn't I interest ye in a small essay favoring the kind young lad Butters Stotch? If you answered, "Why, but of course, good chap!" I implore ye to read below.

Okay, now that I've got your attention - thank you for that, by the way- I'd like to talk more about Butters as a character a little more in depth than what I've previously covered.

Butters is one of the characters I can really strongly relate to in terms of how he responds to others and his own issues at home. And, yes, I understand Butters is used mostly as the character to shit on when Pip isn't around, but I still like to think about his shining moments.

The first that comes to mind is his speech in "Raisins" (S7E14). For me, this was a HUGE turning point in how I saw him as a character and as a kid, because suddenly, instead of him being painfully naive and innocent, I understood that Butters' emotional intelligence really went farther than that.

This sounds a bit silly in the grand scheme of things, considering I've let this little egg child impact my life so. But I love moments like this with him regardless - and in that aspect, I think, maybe Butters is the most emotionally competent out of the main 5 boys + CATG.

And then we get episodes like "Back Door Sluts 9" and any respect I have for Matt and Trey's portrayal of him is immediately discredited.

Regardless of character inconsistencies, though, we get another gem of a speech in "Butterballs" (S16E5), and when I saw this episode, I couldn't get enough. I looked for more speeches like this. I consulted countless character analysis essays. I wanted MORE. To me, this is one of the best pieces of writing South Park has ever cultivated. (I won't say the best, because I can't really rank it amongst my other favorites truthfully).

Honorable mentions are S5E14 "Butters' Very Own Episode" where we get our first introspective of Butters and I first came to love him. Also, S9E9 "Marjorine" for being so iconic and refreshing in the aspect that we get to see one of the rare moments Butters actually gets to enjoy himself. Bonus piece, dance scene from some episode I can't remember.

To me, Butters is a very underrated character, and I'd love to see more people talk about him. His naivety is endearing. I could squish him. His emotional intelligence shines through in the little moments Matt and Trey grant him, and I shall always cherish them (insert reference to Sock-O from Bo Burnham's 'That's How The World Works' song - 'I live in a constant state of paralysis; not quite dead, not alive!')

Anyways, enough of my incessant rambling. Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful day :)

Who Do I Do Next?

See also:

What To Love About: Stan Marsh

What To Love About: Kyle Broflovski

[sk1fanfiction]

the many faces of tom riddle, part 4

-attachment, orphanages, and yet more child psych: time to add yet another voice to the void-

FULL DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION OF A CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE STRONGEST CANON CHARACTERIZATION, AND THUS ALL THIS IS BASED ON MY CONCEPTUALIZATION.

I'm going to be super biased, because my favorite portrayal of Tom Riddle is actually Hero Fiennes-Tiffin as eleven-year-old Tom Riddle, in HBP and I get to chat about child psych in this one, sooo here we go.

First of all, I’m just so impressed that a kid could bring that much depth to such a complex character.

This is the portrayal, I feel, that brings us closest to Tom’s character. Yes, Coulson’s brought us pretty close, but by fifth year, the mask was on.

We don't really get to see Tom looking afraid very often, but it's fear that rules his life, so it's really poignant in our first (chronologically) introduction, he looks absolutely terrified.

The void being the fandom's loud opinions on a certain headmaster. I wouldn't call myself pro-Dumbledore, but I'm certainly not anti-Dumbledore, either. (Agnostic-Dumbledore??)

Since I'm not of the anti-Dumbledore persuasion, I decided to poke around in the tags and see what the arguments were, so I don't make comments out of ignorance.

Most of the tag seems to be more directed towards his treatment of Harry and Sirius, but a few people mentioned that Dumbledore should have treated Tom with ‘exceptional kindness’ and tried to ‘rehabilitate’ him.

As I said in Parts 2 and 3, I am 100% in favor of helping a traumatized kid learn to cope, and I don’t think Tom Riddle was solidly on the Path to Evil (TM) at birth, or even at eleven. Not even at fifteen.

Could unconditional love and kindness have helped Tom Riddle enough for the rise of Lord Voldemort to never happen? Possibly, but...

Yes, I'm about to drag up that Carl Jung quote, again.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

The problem with this is that if you’re going to blame Dumbledore for this, you also have to blame every other adult in Tom’s life: his headmaster, Dippet, his Head of House, Slughorn, his ‘caretakers’ at the orphanage, Mrs. Cole and Martha, and possibly more. In fact, if we're going to blame any adult, let's blame Merope for r*ping and abusing Tom Riddle Senior, and having a kid she wasn't intending to take care of.

Furthermore, you cannot possibly hold anyone but Tom accountable for the murders he committed. (I should not have to sit here and explain why cold-blooded murder is wrong.) And if you like Tom Riddle's character, insinuating that his actions are completely at the whim of others is just a bit condescending towards him. He's not an automaton or a marionette, he's a very intelligent human being with a functioning brain, and at sixteen is fully capable of moral reasoning and critical analysis.

I've heard the theories about Dumbledore setting the Potters up to die, and I'm not going to discuss their validity right now; but he didn't put a wand in Tom's hand and force him to kill anyone. Tom did it all of his own accord.

And while yes, I have enormous sympathy for what happened to Tom as a child, at some point, he decided to murder Myrtle Warren, and that is where I lose my sympathy. Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to inflict harm on others. Yes, Tom was failed, but then, he spectacularly failed himself.

We also have no idea how Dumbledore treated Tom as a student.

In the movies, it’s Dumbledore who tells Tom he has to go back to the orphanage, but in the books, it’s Dippet. We know that Slughorn spent a lot of time around Tom at Slug Club and such, yet I don’t really see people clamoring for his head.

I regard the sentiment that Dumbledore turned Tom Riddle into Lord Voldemort with a lot of skepticism.

But let's hear from the character himself -- his impression of eleven-year-old Tom Riddle.

“Did I know that I had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?” said Dumbledore. “No, I had no idea that he was to grow up to be what he is. However, I was certainly intrigued by him. I returned to Hogwarts intending to keep an eye upon him, something I should have done in any case, given that he was alone and friendless, but which, already, I felt I ought to do for others’ sake as much as his."

Now, assuming that Dumbledore's telling the truth, I'm not seeing something glaringly wrong with this. No, he hasn't pigeonholed Tom as evil, yes, I'd be intrigued, too, and it's a very good idea to keep an eye on Tom, for his own sake.

“At Hogwarts,” Dumbledore went on, “we teach you not only to use magic, but to control it. You have — inadvertently, I am sure — been using your powers in a way that is neither taught nor tolerated at our school."

Again, it seems like he's at least somewhat sympathetic towards Tom, and is willing to at least give him a chance.

More evidence (again, assuming Dumbledore is a reliable narrator):

Harry: “Didn’t you tell them [the other professors], sir, what he’d been like when you met him at the orphanage?” Dumbledore: “No, I did not. Though he had shown no hint of remorse, it was possible that he felt sorry for how he had behaved before and was resolved to turn over a fresh leaf. I chose to give him that chance.”

Now, I think Dumbledore is pretty awful with kids, but I don't think that's malicious. Yeah, it's a flaw, but perfect people don't exist, and perfect characters are dead boring. I am not saying that he definitely handled Tom's case well, I'm just saying that there's little evidence that Dumbledore, however shaken and scandalized, wrote him off as 'evil snake boy.'

It's also worth taking into account that it's 1938, and the attitudes towards mental health back then.

Why is Tom looking at Dumbledore like that, anyway? Why is he so scared? What has he possibly been threatened with or heard whispers of?

"'Professor'?" repeated Riddle. He looked wary. "Is that like 'doctor'? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?"

"I don't believe you," said Riddle. "She wants me looked at, doesn't she? Tell the truth!"

"You can't kid me! The asylum, that's where you're from, isn't it? 'Professor,' yes, of course -- well, I'm not going, see? That old cat's the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they'll tell you!

Tom keeps insisting he's not mad until Dumbledore finally manages to calm him down.

I'm really upset this wasn't in the movie, because it's important context. Instead we got these throwaway cutscenes of some knick-knacks relating to the Cave he's got lying around, but I just would have preferred to see him freaking out like he does in the book.

There was extreme stigma and prejudice towards mental illness.

'Lunatic asylums,' as they were called in Tom's time, were terrible places. In the 1930s and 40s, he could look forward to being 'treated' with induced convulsions, via metrazol, insulin, electroshock, and malaria injections. And if he stuck around long enough, he could even look forward to a lobotomy!

So, if you think Dumbledore was judgmental towards Tom, imagine how flat-out prejudiced whatever doctors or 'experts' Mrs. Cole might have gotten in to 'look at him' must have been!

Moving on to the next few shots, he is sitting down and hunched over as if expecting punishment or at least some kind of bad news, Dumbledore is mostly out of the frame. He’s trapped visually, by Dumbledore on one side, and a wall on the other, because he’s still very much afraid. uncomfortable, as he tells Dumbledore a secret that he fears could get him committed to an asylum (which were fucking horrible places, as I said).

It brings to the scene that miserable sense of isolation and loneliness to that has defined Tom’s entire life up to that point (and, partially due to his own bad choices, continues to define it).

And, when Dumbledore accepts it, his posture changes. he becomes more confident and more at ease, as he describes the... utilities of his magical abilities. 

"All sorts," breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. "I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to."

Riddle lifted his head. His face was transfigured: There was a wild happiness upon it, yet for some reason it did not make him better looking; on the contrary, his finely carved features seemed somehow rougher, his expression almost bestial.

I do think Harry, our narrator, is being a tad bit judgmental here. Magic is probably the only thing that brings Tom happiness in his grey, lonely world, and when I was Tom's age and being bullied, if I had magic powers, you'd better believe that I'd (a) be bloody ecstatic about it (b) use them. And, like Tom, I can't honestly say that I can't imagine getting a bit carried-away with it. Unfortunately, we can't all be as inherently good and kindhearted as Harry.

Reading HBP again, as a 'mature' person, it almost seems like the reader is being prompted to see Tom as evil just because he's got 'weird' facial expressions.

So... uh...

Nope, let's judge Tom on his actions, not looks of 'wild happiness.'

To his great surprise, however, Dumbledore drew his wand from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, pointed it at the shabby wardrobe in the corner, and gave the wand a casual flick. The wardrobe burst into flames. Riddle jumped to his feet; Harry could hardly blame him for howling in shock and rage; all his worldly possessions must be in there. But even as Riddle rounded on Dumbledore, the flames vanished, leaving the wardrobe completely undamaged.

Okay, one thing I dislike is Tom's lack of emotional affect when Dumbledore burned the wardrobe, in the books, he jumped up and started screaming, instead of looking passively (in shock, perhaps?) at the fire. Incidentally, I can't really tell if he's impressed or in shock, to be honest. I think they really tried to make Tom 'creepier' in the movie.

This is one of the incidents where Dumbledore's inability to deal with children crops up.

I think he was trying to teach Tom that magic can be dangerous, and he wouldn't like it to be used against him, but burning the wardrobe that contains everything he owns was a terrible move on Dumbledore's part. Tom already has very limited trust in other people, and now, he's not going to trust Dumbledore at all -- now, he's put Tom on the defensive/offensive for the rest of their interaction, and perhaps for the rest of their teacher-student relationship.

Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand. "Where can I get one of them?"

"Where do you buy spellbooks?" interrupted Riddle, who had taken the heavy money bag without thanking Dumbledore, and was now examining a fat gold Galleon.

But I'm not surprised Tom is 'greedy.' He's grown up in an environment where if he wants something, whether that's affection, food, money, toys, he's got to take it. There's no one looking after his needs specifically. I'm not surprised that he's a thief and a hoarder, and I don't think that counts as a moral failing necessarily, and more of a maladaptive way of seeking comfort. It would be bizarre if he came out of Wool's Orphanage a complete saint.

Additionally, I think given that the Gaunt family has a history of 'mental instability,' Tom is a sensitive child, and the trauma of growing up institutionalized and possibly being treated badly due to his magical abilities or personality disorder deeply affected him.

And there are points where it seems that Dumbledore is quick to judge Tom.

"He was already using magic against other people, to frighten, to punish, to control."

"Yes, indeed; a rare ability, and one supposedly connected with the Dark Arts, although as we know, there are Parselmouths among the great and the good too. In fact, his ability to speak to serpents did not make me nearly as uneasy as his obvious instincts for cruelty, secrecy, and domination."

"I trust that you also noticed that Tom Riddle was already highly self-sufficient, secretive, and, apparently, friendless?..."

And while this is all empirically true, these are (a) a product of Tom's harsh environment, and (b) do not necessarily make him evil. But the point remains that child psych didn't exist as a field of its own, and psychology as a proper science was in its infancy, so I'd be shocked if Dumbledore was insightful about Tom's situation.

But I've gone a ton of paragraphs without citing anything, so I've got to rectify that.

Let's talk about Harry Harlow's monkey experiments in the 1950-70s.

If you're not a fan of animal research, since I know some people are uncomfortable with it, feel free to scroll past.

Here's the TL;DR: Children need to be hugged and shown affection too, not just fed and clothed, please don't leave babies to 'cry out' and ignore their needs because it's backwards and fucking inhumane. HUG AND COMFORT AND CODDLE CHILDREN AND SPOIL THEM WITH AFFECTION!

I will put more red writing when the section is over.

This is still an interesting experiment to have in mind while we explore the whole 'no one taught Tom Riddle how to love' thing and whether or not it's actually a good argument.

Andddd let's go all the way back to the initial 1958 experiment, featured in Harlow's paper, the Nature of Love. (If you're familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, him and Harlow actually collaborated for a time).

To give you an idea of our starting point, until Harlow's experiment, which happened twenty years after Dumbledore meets Tom for the first time, no one in science had really been interested in studying love and affection.

"Psychologists, at least psychologists who write textbooks, not only show no interest in the origin and development of love or affection, but they seem to be unaware of its very existence."

I'm going to link some videos of Harry Harlow showing the actual experiment, which animal rights activists would probably consider 'horrifying.' It's nothing gory or anything, but if you are particularly soft-hearted (and I do not mean that as an insult), be warned. It's mostly just baby monkeys being very upset and Harlow discussing it in a callous manner. Yes, today it would be considered unethical, but it's still incredibly important work and if you think you can handle it, I would recommend watching at least the first one to get an idea of how dramatic this effect is.

Dependency when frightened

The full experiment

The TL;DW:

This experiment was conducted with rhesus macaques; they're still used in psychology/neuroscience research when you want very human-like subjects, because they are very intelligent (unnervingly so, actually). I'd say that adult ones remind me of a three-year old child.

Harlow separated newborn monkeys from their mothers, and cared for their physical needs. They had ample nutrition, bedding, warmth, et cetera. However, the researchers noticed that the monkeys:

(a) were absolutely miserable. And not just that, but although all their physical needs were taken care of, they weren't surviving well past the first few days of life. (This has also been documented in human babies, and it's called failure to thrive and I'll talk about it a bit later).

(b) showed a strong attachment to the gauze pads used to cover the floor, and decided to investigate.

So, they decided to provide a surrogate 'mother.' Two, actually. Mother #1 was basically a heated fuzzy doll that was nice for the monkeys to cuddle with. Mother #2 was the same, but not fuzzy and made of wire. Both provided milk. The result? The monkeys spent all their time cuddling and feeding from the fuzzy 'mother.' Perhaps not surprising.

What Harlow decided next, is that one of the hallmarks being attached to your caregiver is seeking hugs and reassurance from them when frightened. So, when the monkeys were presented with something scary, they'd go straight to the cloth mother and ignore the wire one. Not only that, but when placed in an unfamiliar environment, if the cloth mother was present, the monkeys would be much calmer.

In a follow-up experiment, Harlow decided to see if there was some sort of sensitive period by introducing both 'mothers' to monkeys who had been raised in isolation for 250 days. Guess what?

The initial reaction of the monkeys to the alterations was one of extreme disturbance. All the infants screamed violently and made repeated attempts to escape the cage whenever the door was opened. They kept a maximum distance from the mother surrogates and exhibited a considerable amount of rocking and crouching behavior, indicative of emotionality.

Yikes. So, at first Harlow thought that they'd passed some kind of sensitive period for socialization. But after a day or two they calmed down and started chilling out with the cloth mother like the other monkeys did. But here's a weird thing:

That the control monkeys develop affection or love for the cloth mother when she is introduced into the cage at 250 days of age cannot be questioned. There is every reason to believe, however, that this interval of delay depresses the intensity of the affectional response below that of the infant monkeys that were surrogate-mothered from birth onward

All these things... attachment, affection, love, seeking comfort ... are mostly learned behaviours.

Over.

Orphanages, institutionalized childcare, and why affection is a need, not an extra.

His face is lit the exact same was as Coulson’s was in COS (half-light, half-dark), and I said I was going to talk about this in Part 3. I think perhaps it's intended to make Fiennes-Tiffin look more evil or menacing, but I'm going to quite deliberately misinterpret it.

Now, for some context, Dumbledore has just (kind of) burned his wardrobe, ratted out his stealing habit, and (in the books only, they really took a pair of scissors to this scene) told him he needs to go apologize and return everything and Dumbledore will know if he doesn't, and, well, Tom's not exactly a happy bugger about it.

But interestingly, in the books, this is when we start to see Tom's 'persona,' aka his mask, start to come into play. Whereas before, he was screaming, howling, and generally freaking out, here, he starts to hide his emotions -- in essence, obscure his true self under a shadow. So this scene is really the reverse of Coulson's in COS.

And perhaps I'm reading wayyy too much into this, but I can't help but notice that Coulson's hair is parted opposite to Fiennes-Tiffin's, and the opposite sides of their faces are shadowed, too.

Riddle threw Dumbledore a long, clear, calculating look. "Yes, I suppose so, sir," he said finally, in an expressionless voice.

Riddle did not look remotely abashed; he was still staring coldly and appraisingly at Dumbledore. At last he said in a colorless voice, "Yes, sir."

Here's an article from The Atlantic on Romanian orphanages in the 1980s, when the dictator, Ceausescu, basically forced people to have as many children as possible and funnel them into institutionalized 'childcare', and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

There's not a whole lot of information out there on British orphanages in the 30s' and 40s', but given that people back then thought you just had to keep children on a strict schedule and feed them, it wouldn't have a whole lot better.

The only thing I've found is this, and it's not super promising.

The most important study informing the criteria for contemporary nosologies, was a study by Barbara Tizard and her colleagues of young children being raised in residential nurseries in London (Tizard, 1977). These nurseries had lower child to caregiver ratios than many previous studies of institutionalized children. Also, the children were raised in mixed aged groups and had adequate books and toys available. Nevertheless, caregivers were explicitly discouraged from forming attachments to the children in their care.

Here's a fairly recent paper that I think gives a good summary: Link

Here, they describe the responses to the Strange Situation test (which tests a child's attachment to their caregiver).

We found that 100% of the community sample received a score of “5,” indicating fully formed attachments, whereas only 3% of the infants living in institutions demonstrated fully formed attachments. The remaining 97% showed absent, incomplete, or odd and abnormal attachment behaviors.

Bowlby and Ainsworth, who did the initial study, thought that children would always attach to their caregivers, regardless of neglect or abuse. But some infants don't attach (discussed along with RAD in Part 2).

Here's a really good review paper on attachment disorders in currently or formerly institutionalized children : Link

Core features of RAD in young children include the absence of focused attachment behaviors directed towards a preferred caregiver, failure to seek and respond to comforting when distressed, reduced social and emotional reciprocity, and disturbances of emotion regulation, including reduced positive affect and unexplained fearfulness or irritability.

Which all sounds a lot like Tom in this scene. The paper also discusses neurological effects, like atypical EEG power distribution (aka brain waves), which can correlate with 'indiscriminate' behavior and poor inhibitory control; which makes sense for a kid who, oh, I don't know, hung another kid's rabbit because they were angry.

Furthermore...

...those children with more prolonged institutional rearing showed reduced amygdala discrimination and more indiscriminate behavior.

This again, makes a ton of sense for Tom's psychological profile, because the amygdala (which is part of the limbic system, which regulates emotions) plays a major role in fear, anger, anxiety, and aggression, especially with respect to learning, motivation and memory.

So, I agree completely that Tom needed a lot of help, especially given the fact that he spent eleven years in an orphanage (longer than the Bucharest study I was referring to), and Dumbledore wasn't exactly understanding of his situation, and probably didn't realise what a dramatic effect the orphanage had on Tom, and given the way he talks to Tom, probably treated him as if he were a kid who grew up in a healthy environment.

In case you are still unconvinced that hugging is that important, there's a famous 1944 study conducted on 40 newborn human infants to see what would happen if their physical needs (fed, bathed, diapers changed) were provided for with no affection. The study had to be stopped because half the babies died after four months. Affection leads to the production of hormones and boosts the immune system, which increases survival, and that is why we hug children and babies should not be in orphanages. They are supposed to be hugged, all the time. I can't find the citation right now, I'll add it later if I find it.

But I think it's vastly unrealistic to say that Dumbledore, who grew up during the Victorian Era, would have any grasp of this and I don't think he was actively malicious towards Tom.

Was Tom Riddle failed by institutional childcare? Absolutely.

Were the adults in his life oblivious to his situation? Probably.

Do the shitty things that happened to Tom excuse the murders he committed, and are they anyone's fault but his own? No. At the end of the day, Tom made all the wrong choices.

And, for what it's worth, I think (film) Dumbledore (although he expresses the same sentiment in more words in the books) wishes he could go back in time and have helped Tom.

"Draco. Years ago, I knew a boy, who made all the wrong choices. Please, let me help you."

[herotome]

Hello! So, I'm genuinely scared of all three (?) of your kinda villainous and genuine villain characters so far, like I mean seriously actually break-out-in-sweat on sight of the (no spoilers) clipboard-holding one, for a start. I wanted to ask, what's your secret?! Any tips on how to write such frightening villains? No pressure though if you're busy! Health and wellbeing is absolutely the priority over responding to anything ever :)

LOL aw gosh, I'm afraid I don't know! I'm personally not scared of those three (four? if you count the alcoholic man who is not in the downloadable demo yet), because they're simple people and I know all their weaknesses. If they corner me IRL, I can stand my ground and yell one of their secrets at them like "Your [dark leader/dad/parents/boyfriend/sweet old neighbor who brings you cake] would be SO unhappy with you if you hurt me." 🤣 They're all very much human with ties to other humans in society, so they still have enough of a conscience/fear of repercussions to keep them at bay.

The antagonists later in the game though... those people would be much harder to reason with - the ones who start having more to gain and less to lose. If they came after me, I'd be scared of them!

In regards to tips -- I wrote a thing but it's gotten rather long, so I'll put it under a cut.

(As always: if you don't see a cut, please click on the post itself to view it in full.)

... I'm a bit confused whenever yall hide the clammy lady (and the option to kiss her) behind spoilers by the way. Is it that exciting?? Hahahaha.

Real talk, the March 2021 demo only covers the prologue and has been out long enough, please feel free to speak of its contents! I don't think the knowledge would ruin the experience for anyone, and there are muuuch bigger spoilers on the horizon. :)

Okay back to those tips:

I would recommend doing some introspection and thinking about what makes the current three scary for you!

Is it a specific part of their design? The clipboard-holding one (lol) for example has those enormous eyes and small irises, which can be interpreted as eerie and unnaturally excitable. Like, what is she so excited about? My demise?? The wetness (lol... imagine someone reading this out of context) is also probably a factor - there's a lot of horror stories about wet women rising from the depths and dragging people off to drown.

(Admittedly, she did manage to unnerve me once when I playtested her scene in the dark - were you playing at night lol??)

Is it... their aura of mystery? Maybe they're scary because you don't know what their motivations are, and you don't want to get in the way of what they want because you don't know what they'll do to you?

Is it because their mood is unpredictable? Is it because you don't know if you're going to say or do something that suddenly sets them off? That's quite scary, I think -- you don't need always need a spooky design for a hair-trigger character, especially when you put the character in the same room as something fragile, or someone powerless. You could work in a lot of situational anxiety that way.

Is it a lack of control/player agency, due to the visual novel format? Is it just my style of writing when they're on-screen? I read that using shorter sentences increases a sense of urgency.

I like to do a lot of analysis of other characters, borrowing specific parts that resonate with me. Like, the particular head tilt + face shading of the clammy lady is based a hypnotized side character in Dramatical Murder - it was a body language that signified they were erratic and not in full control of their mind, which was a vibe I wanted to communicate. (Granted, she's perfectly in control - just too excitable about MC lol.)

I hope that helps! :D Like I said, I don't personally find them scary so it's hard to give specific tips haha.

I love talking about my process (frankly, due to my deep enjoyment of reading other peoples' process), so it's rarely any trouble. Still, thank you for being so considerate. ❤ I love to see it!

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here to say friend that I loved your South Buddie analysis. I know 5a has provided plenty of material for a truth discussion but it's always lovely to see it all laid out at once, with the nuances the song intended (bonus points for the military men/curly haired disaster parallel). In return I've promised to give you my S2 thoughts so buckle up, this will take a bit (aka an incoherent answer to one if your favorite tags, if no Buddie then why). So I think clearly the writers had an TBC

idea of Buddie in S2 and hadn't committed to it, but I think there's a love story they were committed to, and that's between Buck and Christopher. That scene of Buck taking Eddie to see Chris post-earthquake just screams this to me for 2 reasons. First, that look on Buck's face, starting out happy and painfully shifting into sadness and longing, is just sooo much. But it's the context of it that gets me, because it's not just any kid. Buck has been established as loving kids and I can only imagine he must have seen Hen and Denny together or maybe even Bobby with May and Harry and I'm pretty sure he hasn't given them THAT look. No he's looking at his single parent, new bff reunite with his son, and to me the writers are just putting up neon signs pointing at Buck saying "2nd dad". The second reason is that this is the first time Buck and Chris are in the same scene, and they both have curly hair that tends toward the lighter side. Curly hair is a prominent feature that notably neither Eddie or Shannon have. If you put Buck, Eddie, and Shannon in a line-up and gave me 3 seconds to pick which one is Chris's parent I'd easily choose Buck based on hair. Again I feel it's a big indicator of the writer's intentions, Buck will be Chris's dad. So from an S2 writing perspective how can that happen? I see 3 options. First, platonic co-parenting, which ultimately can't work. For Buck to be a parent (not just a fun uncle) he has to put Chris (and to some extent Eddie) before any other relationship in his life and even his desire for a family of his own, which would completely undermine what seems to be a huge part of Buck's narrative, learning to value himself enough to put himself first. The 2nd option is of course Buddie, which S2 hints at and the option the writers look like they went with from S3 onward. The 3rd option is what we've already seen partially play out, namely Eddie makes Buck Chris's guardian in his will, but in this scenario Eddie actually dies. I think the writers deftly frames S2 Buddie so that option 2 or 3 were viable. Almost every Buck and Eddie scene could be interpreted as Buddie OR Buck and the Diaz boys in general. The instant besties nature of their friendship complements a Buddie storyline but is necessary to an Eddie dies storyline where it has to make sense for Eddie to give guardianship of Chris to Buck, a guy he's known so briefly. Then there's the whole Shannon returns plot. I get that the whole story of Shannon is intrinsic to understanding Eddie and his relationship with Chris, but I couldn't figure out why they would bring her back into their lives only to kill her off within a few episodes, even to further the Buddie narrative in seeing how easily Eddie trusts Buck with Chris vs. Shannon with Chris. Unless, it's to eliminate the one viable challenge to Buck's prospective guardianship of Chris. I've thought of numerous ways Buddie scenes from S2 could be reinterpreted to give a Buck-becomes-a-dad storyline with the same depth as Buddie, but this is already really long. In conclusion, I think in the process of making Buck a dad, the writers stumbled into one of the most compelling, slow-burn romances ever. It's probably completely wrong, but what's the fun if you can't put forth insane theories?? Thanks for listening to this one, hope it was entertaining!

Hi my friend! Thanks for giving me a reason to ramble about Buddie! And thanks for sending this ask! I loved getting to see your analysis about season 2 and you brought up some interesting things! I know casting means you often end up with "kids" that don't look like their "parents" but still, the way Chris looks like Buck is....eye catching at the very least. It's also been pointed out how many kids Buck holds and rescues in season 1 vs that number dropping quite a bit after Chris is introduced, but we still get lots of great Buck-with-kids moments, they just all happen with/around Chris. (Almost like the family they had been hinting at Buck desperately searching for in season 1 is starting to take shape?)

And I know we all say it, but WHEN are we going to get a peek behind the curtain at what the writers room was thinking in early season 2?! Because some of these choices are....ChoicesTM. And while most shows would take advantage of this kind of situation to kill off a character (and I'm sure the writers are leaving doors open in case of any actor's exit), 911 isn't the kind of show to just...kill off characters (like we saw with Michael’s exit) which is something I love and makes the show feel safe. (One of the reasons LS is on thin fucking ice after taking out Tim AND Charles like that. SMDH) Also I am side eyeing the fact that not ONCE, has anyone referred to Buck as “Uncle Buck” in relationship to Chris. Like, that is one of the classic “they’re just friends” signals they use in the writing (along with “brother” between guys which happened once in their first episode together and maybe one other time?) and not even Chimney, king of movie-related jokes, has made an “Uncle Buck” joke about Chris and Buck. And that is huge to me. If they really wanted to mitigate any possibility of Buddie that is something they would have done off the bat. We might have even gotten Chris saying “Bye Uncle Buck” in Stuck or something, but it would have happened early and it would have happened often and the fact that it hasn’t happened AT ALL? Like??? Writers, spill the tea! I would LOVE if when Buddie becomes canon (because there STILL isn’t a literal straight answer for “if no buddie then why xyz”) we got an interview all about the process to getting to this point. Because I am dyyyyying to know what has been going on behind the scenes. I know it’s talked to death, but that “wait for me to come home” lyric moment in 3x03?! That lives rent free in my mind along with every pair of heart eyes, the lack of personal space, and the way Eddie/Buck/Christopher’s relationship is never treated as a joke. Even when Maddie was making “boy crush” comments, Buck didn’t have the big “no homo” reaction that makes those scenes in other shows feel like jokes. Instead, it felt like a genuine sibling tease/pointed comment, and the same with the scene with Josh. Tim can say all he wants about the Christmas Elf moment just being a “nod” to the fandom, but Buck/Oliver’s genuine reaction and the way he was so accepting was so much more than that.

I can’t tell if, like you said, the writers wrote themselves into a corner and stumbled upon this amazing thing, helped along by the actor’s chemistry, and just kinda went with it, or if something deeper has been in the works all along because there is literally no one they could bring in for Buck or Eddie that could fill the other’s shoes or be a better partner for them, and one one could be a better second parent for Chris. Eddie literally said so himself!

I’m so happy to see you’re joining in the unhinged Buddie fun and I can’t wait to hear all about your season 3 and 4 thoughts along the way! I was listening to my Winter Chill playlist today and Uneven Odds came up and I am excited for you to get through Buck Begins in season 4 because we are gonna have a Talk about that song that I don’t think anyone is emotionally prepared for. I can’t wait! (But also I can because that song is A Lot)

[mevekagvain]

Okay so I'm gonna complain about what was done to Raskreia in the anime's finale in more depth now because I'm still upset about it.

First off, I'm going to preface this by saying that I don't mind the change they made of Raskreia being aware from the beginning that her father offered Raizel the position of lord. I think that makes differences yes but it's still easy for her to be true to her character even with that knowledge (edit: that was actually the same as the manhwa but doesn't affect the analysis lol). My problem is how out of character her actions are in the last episode.

In the manhwa where she didn’t know, she was still insecure about her position. She struggled over actions and whether she was truly competent, all of that being plainly obvious when Gechutel was lying in an attempt push her to the the point where she actively decided to strengthen herself after he's executed. Her turmoil was always present so that's consistent enough in the anime even though there she already knows her father asked Raizel to be lord compared to only finding out when she was told that by Raizel. It's not a big deal.

My problem comes with her portrayal being completely ooc. Raskreia outwardly expresses her emotions and has her heart on her sleeve which is completely different from her personality in the manhwa. There she is proud and does her best to convey the best message to her people. She keeps a strong image in front of her clan leaders as her duty to protect and uphold them. Yes she was afraid of showing vulnerability but having her cry and scream about how lonely she is isn't how that was solved.

Raskreia's vulnerability and trust in her clan leaders was shown in them understanding her mannerisms. They knew and understood her without her having to tell them because they care for her and support her. They have always known her and her pain, she just didn't realise it.

And honestly the worst part about it all is that her actions in the anime simply aren't to Raskreia's personality. She's naturally stoic. It's not because she's doing her best to hide her emotions or anything of that sort because we see her reactions and emotions plenty of times in the manhwa. Her expressing herself just is not as grand as others because of how she naturally is and because as lord it's her job to care for everyone. When her father appears in the manhwa, she's shaken and very obviously missing him without hugging Ragnarok in front of everyone. Why would she even do that? If she was going to try to hug someone in the anime just have her go for her father because it isnt like she knows whether or not she can touch his memory. Id also be a lot more willing to accept her reaching out to her fathers hand with her own and feeling pained when it goes through compared to her clutching the sword.

The scene with her leaning against Gechutel was also so so bad. Like if you'd just shown that to me without context I'd love it, but in front of everyone? At least have her do that later when they're alone and in private because she's always prioritised being Lukedonia's pillar instead of where everyone can see her. It's not like it wasn't obvious how much she cared for him in the manhwa either. There she asked him to continue on teaching them and being clan leader, and it was an emotional scene in itself.

And then there was her falling to her knees twice, screaming about being lonely, and when she bowed her head as if to accept Raizel killing her. Like where did her strength and conviction go? Where did her love for her people disappear to that she gives up so easily. And where did her understanding that if a traitor wins, not only her people, but also potentially humans, are doomed? Raskreia can't let him win because she can't let the disastrous consequences that she believes will come from that occur. Only when the complete truth is revealed does she stand down because it turns out that he isn't a threat. Her insecurities are only one part of the whole affair and she doesn't think about herself when her people are at stake. It also takes away from her determination because although she's frustrated when under the assumption that Raizel is mocking her, she's doing her best to defeat him and doesn't give up partway.

Then there's that scene afterwards where she laughs at Raizel's answer. I don't mind that as much but I do think she wouldn’t do that because as I've already said, she's naturally stoic. There's also the matter of her basically torturing Seira previously. When it occured, though I disliked it, I wasn't upset. Now though? Her cruelty compared to the manhwa makes her seem like a childish tyrant.

And that's what it all boils down to. Raskreia is depicted as being so much more self focused with her insecurities being her main personality trait when in the manhwa she's someone who understands her position and the sacrifices she has to make, putting her people first. Her insecurities, though obvious, never pushed her to the point of cruelty and her actions towards Seira and Gechutel are logical as they're potentially harbouring traitorous intentions that may ruin their people and lead to more death. She never goes to the point of reading minds even though it's legal for her to do so (and only actually legal for her to do, nobody else is allowed to do so) which shows that she values them, and hopes for them to trust her the way she trusts them.

Between the anime where she's more focused on her insecurities, and the manhwa where she's focused on her people and duties with her insecurities seeping through subtly in how she acts, its pretty obvious I'd be upset. I actually do like characters written like her anime self but only when that's how they're written from the start. Not when they're a completely different person who's been watered down to her personality revolving around two men.