#i'm a little scared to join in on the discourse

[silveraura]

I'm enjoying Misfits and Magic 2 (especially because it's not as linked to the inspiration material as season 1), BUT I've seen some very good points by trans women & trans femmes about dropout in general and mismag. The season is still in poor taste, especially considering there are so few transfemmes associated with dropout. I enjoy the storytelling of the 5 people at the table (and that includes the new worldbuilding), but dropout could still do better.

[rwuffles]

okay, so, calico cove has gotten me mushy — because of people crying over my notes, me getting emotional over the notes i got, and the community as a whole. blame them for this heartfelt mushfest, i guess; this is an appreciation letter because i can't keep my big fat mouth shut ever!

to the mogai community as a whole: thank you. for, what? i don't think i could get into the specifics if i tried. we are, to be quite frank, a mess at times — discourse and drama and pettiness galore — but god i'd be lying to say i don't love it anyways. i found the community when i was stuck in a really toxic friend group, and when i was starting to hide parts of myself in order to fit in / not get bullied. it didn't really work. but, i found everyone here. people who ided similarly to me, people who also hoarded stuff, and god i fucking adored all of the coining and npt blogs. it's been a really long ride, and i'm still trying to figure myself out as we go along, but i wouldn't be, well, xuân if it weren't for everything that this community has shown me. coining and flag-making have been there for me when i didn't have words to describe how i felt, and when i needed people who'd accept me for being me; it's shown me that i shouldn't settle for anything less than that. everything i do on this blog, really, is a love letter to the community as a whole and me trying to give back everything its given me, and i hope that's clear with how much love goes into everything i create.

and, god, don't even get me started on how much i adore everyone i've met through the community!

some people i'm not quite as close with as i used to be, and some people i don't talk with at all anymore, but i have to be honest when i say that i adore and am grateful towards everyone in the community i've met during my time within it.

to @vampitsm: what sort of appreciation letter would this be if it didn't include you? you've been my friend since, what, one of my old old blogs? it's been one whole year since we've become friends; can you believe that? it was actually right around this time that we started gaia's — or rather, sweetshop. when we first met, i'll be honest and say that i didn't think we'd stay friends long. i'd always held a fairly pessimistic view of the people around me — assuming they'd leave or i'd drop them one way or another. but, you didn't. you'd stayed, you were my friend, you sided with me time and time again. at some point, i found myself wanting to be your friend — even though we already were friends! i'll be honest and say that a lot of the time, when i do things, i hope that i'll make you laugh. you and your opinion mean a lot to me, and i always look forward to the next time we talk.

to @fangpunk: there's so much i could say about you, you little faggot (silly). when i'd first joined mogaiblr, you were one of our inspirations — we looked up to you, wanted to be your mutual, and just generally thought y'all were one of the coolest guys out there. who woulda thought that we'd have the friendship we do today? you're an amazing friend, i think you're one of the funniest people we know and you've always got something to say — in a good way! i love your input on every situation, and especially when izuku isn't scared to put his foot down in our place; you make us less scared to be ourself and encourage us to be less of a pushover. so, thank you!

to @cloverpilled: you're a real dork. my dork, though. maybe i should've realized i didn't quite just see you as a friend when i was vying for your attention and calling you 'my favorite' all the time; but, it worked out in the end, didn't it? everything you make — flags, rentries, layouts, etc. — are always wonderful and i still get giddy seeing you put 'taken' in your rentries and knowing that's me. i've always loved our friendship, and i can't fathom a world without it, especially not now that we're boyfriends. i know you're not the best with words — comforting, being open, all that jazz — and i've never minded it. really, i think you're one of the sweetest people in the world and you always try your best even if it's not in the most forward or obvious manner.

to shua: you. you have been in the fucking psych ward for the past... 4-5 months? i miss you so much, dude; i'm so happy you're going to be out in 2 days. i can't wait to spend the rest of the holidays with you and everyone else in gaia's. you're an amazing person, to be entirely honest, and i miss spending time with you. you've been my friend since before i was here on rwuffles. do you know how fucking long that is? i've looked up to you since forever, and i'm so happy that we're friends. i cherish you and i cherish our friendship as a whole more than i think i could ever express, sometimes i can't believe that we've been friends for so long, but we have! to another year of you & i!

to hadiyah: i have no idea what your current (?) tumblr account is, to be entirely honest, so i hope this finds its way to you one way or another. you're such an amazing person, i think you're so funny and i love talking with you — it's always a treat. sure, you aren't quite as active in gaia's anymore; i don't mind. i still consider you a really good friend of ours. you've been our friend since... the beginning of gaia's as well, i believe? so, really, i couldn't be more grateful to have you in my life and to have had you as a friend for so long! thank you, so much.

to @sevvys: sev. you. you are so cool and awesome and i love talking to you. thank you for being our friend — we don’t even remember how long we’ve been friends for. but, thank you. to be entirely honest, you’re an older sibling figure in our lives and we love being able to hang out and make stupid jokes; i think you’re really funny and i’ve always looked up to you in a way if that doesn’t sound weird? i don’t talk to you as much as i wish i did, and i want that to change, but you’re always super level-headed in my opinion and really good at handling discussions i guess. i don’t know how to express how cool i think you are. you’re just a really reliable, caring person i think

to @rabidbatboy: i think i’ve looked up to you for… an absurdly long amount of time. when you first started coining, you were one of the only people coining less “cutesy” stuff; it was definitely a breath of fresh air and we found ourselves super excited to see any new terms you’d come up with. to be honest? we still love everything you coin, even if we aren’t quite in the fandoms you’re coining for — plus i just think you’re awesome as a person. i love talking to you, as i’ve said to lots of people, you’re super funny and i always look forward to talking to you next! you’re not quite as active in gaia’s anymore, and i know you’re not the best with words, so i don’t expect anything grand in response; i just want you to know that i really care about you and i’ve always appreciated your presence.

to eddie: that’s right, oldie! you get a section, too! because i consider you a really good friend of ours, even if i don’t talk to you very much and you aren’t (?) quite in the mogai community. i really like talking to you and i like our back and forth banter a lot — it feels like you’re an older sibling of ours a lot of the time. i like being the annoying little brother to you, and i really hope that we can keep being friends. it feels really weird being genuine and expressing how much you matter to me considering how often we tend to jokingly butt heads, but i just need you to know that i really love our friendship and i can’t imagine it being any other way. i hope your holidays are good, ya old fuck (affectionate).

and, this section isn't quite for people who are in the mogai community. rather, friends & loved ones i've known since before then that i love with all my heart and that have supported me throughout everything — discovering myself and realizing how much i adore these labels. there aren't enough words to explain how much i love you all and appreciate your staying by my side and not abandoning me.

to elipse, my dear boyfriend: thank you. you’ve supported me through everything — even when it felt like everyone else was against me and i was left on my own again. you are my dearest, my beloved, my forever and my eternity; i’m not scared to be mushy about that. it’s been a wonderful two years by your side, and i hope for it to be many more. you’ve loved me through my ups and downs, my wrongs and rights, my weirdest moments and all the cute stuff in-between. you’ve been my number one supporter — especially when i was first starting to become a mogai coiner — and you’ve remained my number one supporter since. you’re the most wonderful boyfriend i could ever ask for: supportive, sweet, considerate, and amazing. i love you. 

to caelan, my lovely girlfriend: you!! you’ve been my best friend for seven years. do you know how long that is? i’m 16! i was 9 when we met! i’ve almost known you and akemi for longer than i haven’t! that is both a terrifying and wonderful thought: to have someone by your side for so long that you can recall more of your life with them than without it. i adore everything about you, and i’m so sorry if it seems like i’m a bit awkward or not the best conversationalist sometimes; everything about you is amazing and i just feel like a little wet dog near you somedays. i miss you so much, and i hope your break from fronting is going well, and that you know i love you and am so excited to talk to you again when you’re back. 

to akemi, one of my bestest and oldest friends: a lot of what i said in caelan’s note is what i’d say to you. we’ve known eachother for so long, that it’s hard to imagine my life if you hadn’t been in it. actually, i think my entire life would’ve taken a different course if we hadn’t met on that fnaf minecraft roleplay on hypixel — can you believe it? how such little things manage to make such big impacts on our lives and who we are as people? i know we don’t talk as much anymore, but, as i’ve said before, i consider you one of my dearest friends and you mean the complete world to me. so, thank you for having stayed by my side for so long, akemi.

to ice, my amazing sister: you!!! the sister ever!!! you’ve always taken on an older sibling role in my life since we met, and i think you just tend to slot into that role perfectly; thank you for always being there for me and taking care of me. i don’t think i’d have made it this far without you being there and reassuring me every step of the way. we might not be super close, or talk as much as i’d like us to, but i really enjoy your company and love talking with you. i’m just a little bit of an awkward guy. when you send me stuff on pinterest, it always makes me happy and i love checking and seeing that i have a new message from you. i can’t believe we’ve been friends for — how long is it, at this point — six years? i think around that time. that’s unbelievable to me.

to smg, my one & only brother: the stupidest most dorkiest most infuriating brother i could ever have the pleasure of knowing and being able to call my brother. that’s what you are. you and your stupid brainrot and stupid jokes and stupid everything — i could never imagine a world where you aren’t my brother. even if you act like you don’t care a lot of the time, you make sure we know that you do care (even if it’s in your own, stupid little way). i love being your friend and i’m so grateful i’ve had you in my life for so long. you are the first and currently the only online friend who i’ve been able to meet irl, and i hope to be able to see you again sometime soon. even if you never quite got the labels that i’d talk about or ramble about, and even if you might get on my nerves sometimes, you’re still my brother at the end of the day and i wouldn’t want it any other way.

next up, we have people who i don’t quite talk to as much anymore who’s presences in my life i really appreciate. of course, i’m not sure if all of them still have tumblr blogs — most being deactivated — or if they even really want to hear how i care about them. so, really, i’ll leave this brief and say that this part is addressed to: ghost, mimsy, and woodbyne. thank you guys for having played such a large role in our lives at one point or another, and i wish you all the best even if we don’t talk as much nowadays. 

i don’t think that i can dedicate a paragraph to everyone, even if i really wish i could, as i don’t think most people are going to be willing to read through this whole post with the length that it’s getting to. so, i’m just gonna tag a bunch of people? just to let you guys know that you’re loved in every which way even if i have a shitty time showing it to all of you? 

the sillies ever who are so kind and sweet and i enjoy everytime they send me asks, reblog, leave a reply, or just interact with me in general: @ainoshonen @smilepilled @angeltism @zoeynovie

coiners that are actually a lot smaller than i thought they were that i think are so cool and need more recognition: @acronym-chaos @nostalgiagender

OTHER coiners that i think deserve recognition for the things they do and the stuff they create even if i didn’t think they were big at first: @sylviestial @pupcoins @love-letterworm @jiiamp @boingogender @kitsflagz

other BIG coiners that i look up to and have looked up to for a long time — whether we’re currently actually friends (which i still can’t get over), we don’t talk a lot if we do know eachother, or that i haven’t met personally: @idwl @kiruliom @webby-mogai @gender-mailman @puriette-archived @lunentity @the-astropaws @lepus-fangs

everyone who participated in mogai team-up, which, i can’t get over the fact we’ve managed to hit 1k followers because holy SHIT that’s a lot of fucking people, but thank you guys for coming together to help me celebrate it and let this fucking monster of an event (very positive) happen in the first place: @daybreakthing @floraeth @kylertism @robofox-mogai @dragonpuff17 @novaurora @flutteringwings-coining @xyrthemost @catboy-autism @cannibalisticcoinz

if i didn't tag you... uh. our memory is shit, sorry! i tried to remember everyone and i'm literally going to cry if i forgot someone

finally, to everyone in calico cove: thank you. for all of you coming together to help me create a community that’s so loving, so sweet and accepting that it has managed to become a safe space for a plethora of people that i’d have never imagined it to. you’re all lovely, and i’m so glad to be able to share a space with everyone and anyone that’s there. calico cove as a whole just makes me super emotional — cheesy, i know — but it’s essentially one of my dreams come true. it’s been an aspiration of mine to be able to create safe spaces with people wherever i go, and to foster an environment where people feel safe to be themselves without ridicule or fear of judgement. i’m so glad that i’ve been able to create that in calico cove. to hear you guys say or admit that it’s a safe space for you makes me emotional everytime, even if i’m not fully able to convey that to you all. 

thank you to everyone in the mogai community; have a happy holidays!

[godslush]

Just gonna drop a textdump here, but I'm not gonna fandom tag it for now; I just wanna get it off my chest, but I have too much on my plate to work on something more involved than one-off silly doodles or detailed one-off monster drawings.

I might draw some of the stuff here eventually, but it does seem a little far-out and overly pretentious, so the juice may not be worth the amount of squeeze needed to make something palatable. I just feel it's better here than rotting away in a doc.

"Preservers"

A completely separate ‘ending’ requiring a longer setup and new dialogue options.

The original idea for Psalm’s interactions, but too much for her, a literal self-insert, although the core idea of it is how much I want to give better closure to the Astronomers/Sybil/Edwin, etc. I'd planned a bunch of specific game mechanics and interactions based specifically around this, but for now am relegating them to the bin.

The instigator will, instead, be left mysterious, merely setting things in motion only to quietly vanish.

Basically, someone arrives from far away, noting that they were following a trend in the destruction and mutations, leading them to believe that the center of the outbreak was Montreal... and specifically THIS building, noting it being slightly less destroyed amidst what appeared to be the most drastic world-twisting nightmare environment. A figurative AND literal ‘eye of the storm’.

They deduced from talking around - especially talking to the Astronomers - that somehow the “founder” was still alive, and that their goal was to find that ‘founder’ as perhaps the Visitor was seeking out the ‘original witness’, hence why its gaze was focused right here, of all places. That perhaps the ‘original witness’ was the key to making things right and giving everybody - including the Visitor - the closure they wanted.

Over the course of the game, this character would have to be put into contact with Sybil, with a few potential roadblocks that’d stop the event, but alongside that, several other things would have to coalesce...

The requirements would be thus:

Masked Shadow needs to have gotten into Sam’s room, but be told to leave, rather than stay. Nothing super special here, but since a lot of people like to keep it around, it would lock this out.

The real Frederick would have to be saved (so Toxic killed for the key, Faceless killed for, well, his face).

--- There's been discourse on the devstreams about having one of the Freds be a roommate/recruit, but was shot down because it would skew who'd be saved, so this will play with that. Talking to Scared Fred and getting the dialogue about how being painted felt like "being ripped out" would bring up the question of if the answer isn't killing them ALL, but finding a way to put them all back together to create a more 'complete' Fred, rather than a 'final' one. --- So "Real" Frederick would become a temporary team member in his apartment only, and you'd go around trying to convince the others to all join together. Most would agree. Even Fred Who Bites (I imagine a scene where the hug is offered, but Real Fred is the one offering it, and instead of flaying him, that's how they merge together). Wiggly would have to be put down, because he wants to be the 'last one' too badly. Tumor would be the 'final boss' because seeing Fred - the one who created it and 'doomed' it to such a state of torment - would cause it to fly into a rage and become a huge, regenerating monster. --- Once they're all merged, "True" Frederick would be... a bit of a grotesque monster, himself. But he'd have removed parts of him he doesn't like (toxicity, confusion, pain, imposter syndrome/facelessness), and would say he's willing to work with this state.

Edwin would have to be kept alive. This could possibly be facilitated by a mechanic that allows for communication with Edwin from the safety of the light; perhaps the “spirit board” that is currently just vendor trash.

Jeanne would have to be saved, with all the other heads removed. Also straightforward, but if there are future updates to her storyline, this might need tweaks. But as it stands, the current idea is that she tries to manipulate the headless necks, and finds her way down to the Ground Floor, and somehow manages to merge them with the corpses of the Hand Creatures, so she’s one head controlling many giant hands rather than multiple murderous heads she can’t control.

Lyle would have to be peeked at to be revealed, but new dialogues would need to be opened up after that to not only console him, but find out what he was really up to, get him to apologize for it, and then forgive him.

When the ritual is completed and the Astronomers merge into the Exalted Four, all of these characters would arrive to ‘help’... Frederick, Jeanne, and Lyle stand back with their own ‘offerings’, and Masked Shadow shows up... it opens its cloak and its mask breaks, bathing the entire rooftop in pitch blackness... allowing Edwin to show up.

And Edwin is carrying the lucid remains of Sybil. Something something, shared telescope theming and possibly Edwin's weird reality-altering spatial manipulation allowing him to retrieve her from her weird amnesiac purgatory state.

Edwin and Sybil, under the Visitor’s gaze, merge with the Exalted Four and create a more Cherubim-like being (Celestial Choir); entwined limbs and faces (each face having telltale-colored eyes) and more wing-like projections, and appearing to be multiple bodies embracing, while a ‘ring’ of starry telescope ‘eyes’ in the style of Edwin’s transformation encircles it (emerging from one of the eyesockets from one of the heads on the main body).

It would fight for a moment, but come to its senses, and it would be revealed that although the Exalted Four would have gone mad with their new body, six minds sharing THIS strange form somehow gets a pass because of Sybil’s whole importance to the ordeal. That it’s something of a ‘gift’ or even ‘apology’ from the Visitor. Instead of feeling like six brains tangled together to manipulate a mad body, it feels more like six individuals virtually piloting some strange alien spacecraft, with Sybil as the ‘captain’. As such, they’re able to retain their sanity.

They offer to leave and allow Sam and the others an audience with the Visitor. Since they’re all astronomers, they’ll use this new body to travel across the galaxy and see its sights for themselves. It'll be fun, knowing they will be among friends. Jasper and Sybil are especially thankful for being reunited. They promise to return whenever they can.

Once they leave, Sam approaches the Visitor with Frederick, Jeanne, and Lyle. After Sam shows the Visitor the offerings of depictions of itself, the other three step forward... and present images of humanity created before the Visitor’s arrival. Photographs, paintings, video footage (from Jeanne, since I don’t know what else she’d contribute but wanted her a part of this anyway).  Since the Visitor’s gaze doesn’t affect inanimate objects created before its arrival (except through the manipulations of those it mutated), items created in the past allow it to 'see' humanity for what it used to be, not what it turned them into.

As each 'friend' presents their offering, they flicker and warp, and for the rest of the encounter, appear as they were when they were human. So instead of Sam and three monsters addressing the Visitor, it is four 'humans'.

While the Visitor still can’t do anything to help ‘save’ what’s left of Earth, it at least promises to use these images to remember what Earth and humans once were, as an apology for what it did. Instead of “I will not forget you” it says “I will not forget your world.” By having it focus on static images it can’t change, that prevents its ‘remembrance’ from continuing to mutate the world after it leaves.

There is no “Truth/Denial” option given here; while the Visitor offers, the other three straight up stop Sam from even considering it (the requirements would be long and tedious enough to not need another last-second gotcha, really).

When it leaves, all four of them return to Earth to find out they’ve ALL been transformed into titanic fractal creatures... however, since the Visitor’s attention was split between them all, none of them become infinitely-growing masses that cover the whole planet. Not even Sam.  They all become equivalent to, if not slightly more powerful than, the Hundred Gods.

Sam goes on to use his form specifically to help people, as he would have in Perfect Ritual: Denial, albeit on a smaller scale; he still becomes known as the Protector of Earth because he can still get a lot done, and his actions stir others to more positive reconstruction. He gets around pretty well, and with enough help, can even cross the sea to help reconstruction efforts abroad. His body can grow to cover very large areas, though occasionally needs to 'die back' to its core to rest and then regrow again later.

The other three help in their own ways, but specifically collaborate amongst themselves and others to go about trying to collect and archive as much evidence as they can find of pre-Visitor Earth; they become known as the Preservers of Humanity.

Their collective efforts stir some of the Hundred Gods to become more benevolent... and those that don’t... well, let’s just say the world remains pretty exciting (in a kaiju battles sort of way).

The world doesn’t recover as quickly nor as thoroughly as Perfect Ritual: Denial, but it’s still a lot more optimistic than No Going Back.

It ends with the same words, showing Fractal Sam along with the other three Preservers, as well as his adopted family:

“You are surrounded by friends.”

“It feels good.”

He places the Shadow’s smiling Mask - still broken but loosely patched back together, freed from its own implied torment - over the empty holes where his face was.

“You are very happy.”

[riacte]

Future ideas for Bogwaters

(Not promises, just things I think are fun. Making the short demo with 5 NPCs was demanding and I'm already proud of the demo even if the journey ends there. Then again, it'll probably get easier now I've figured out the system...?)

Spoilers for the demo

"Full" game will be inviting 20ish people over 30 days (whole of June). You'll get 10 days of leeway which might seem a little too much, but NPCs will probably scale in difficulty with longer research/bait periods later. There will be more than 20 invitable, non-hostile NPCs so you can pick and choose and won't immediately lose if you get blocked by anyone (which is what happens in the demo).

There'll be probably at least one snitch character— they won't join your server but will claim you're a freak or something. However you won't be cancelled if you meet certain conditions— keeping in with the spirit of the game (rewards kindness and curating your own experience), you can probably be saved if you do nice things and have good enough friendship with people.

Fun fact: I try to make the invitable NPCs have usernames that start with different letters of the alphabet. This makes searching for variables easier. For example, I can search "frd_b" and it'll automatically show "frd_benbiggitybong". This is why the 9 goes in front of blue-blobfish to avoid clashing with benbiggitybong. This is slightly annoying when it comes to naming because I can't make endless bogwarts urls (or ones that start with p and s, which I run into surprisingly often).

WEEK 1 (June 1 to 7)

Tutorial + set up week

Main recruitment method: scrolling PC's own dash and finding blogs from own dash and notifs

Two freebie invitable NPCs from Day 1

Unlocks three NPCs from three "factions" (Bogwarts, Shower Husbands, Dessert Duo)

Potential expansion: exploring into artists like carbonara-art and end-of-endings

Set up for NPCs: Mars' official artist dogwooddraws is teased here. (It wasn't supposed to be a Cherri reference because Martyn did have someone else drawing for him in his Third Life finale, but it's funny all the same). As is the mysterious clipper rubywinterrrises. You'll notice I ran out of ideas and went back to Treebark naming conventions.

Set up for events: classic Shower Husbands discourse, Stitties, mention of Twitter, MGC

WEEK 2 (June 8 to 14)

New recruitment method: MGC teams release and PC having exhausted their dash unlocks scrolling through fandom tags, so PC can find new people to follow and recruit. (A new page for me to update daily 😭 although at times I can just say "nothing new shows up in the tags")

New recruitment method: following the unlocking of Ao3 in Week 1 (starfish-wizard's route), you'll probably unlock more functions and can maybe even publish your own fic. The way it works is that you need to spend days writing your fic so it's not an immediate payoff. An interesting idea to look into is to sacrifice your daily post quota for fic writing time.

You'll be able to stalk people in the kudos section. I imagine this can be a lucrative setup because I can code it so you get notifs when someone kudoses, so the earlier you post it, the more value you'll get out of it. (Idk if I can randomise when people leave kudos)

This week kicks off with the exciting MGC team release of Ben Mars River and H20Bomb. You will have the opportunity to spread propaganda to the Rivergirls. This kicks off the Ben-Mars-River trio thing

dogwooddraws descends on Tumblr and people get skittish

WEEK 3 (June 15 to 21)

Middle of month so we kick off with some good old fashioned Twitter discourse. BNF Brian/Mumble shipper gets cancelled on Twitter and you have to save them because this incident adds to your daily fandom enjoyment decrease amount. So it's a perma debuff if you don't solve it soon.

New recruitment method: Twitter! Twitter will truly raise your chances of cancellation, however it also provides you with a wealth of shippers scared to death that will give you massive rewards (fandom enjoyment) in return

More of the Twitter fishies will be minors so be nice

MGC week! MGC week! MGC takes place on Saturday the 19th, mid to late week. This will be combined with the real life Hermit Rivals which had some gayass quotes. You should have finished exploring your Week 1 dash and will need to dig into fandom tags for new invitable NPCs, and MGC provides the perfect opportunity for people to talk

Mysterious clipper is still mysterious, but the research effort for them begins after you + server discover they clipped every good moment in MGC and start going "we love this mysterious person, please come here". I imagine this is a lengthy, multimedia process spanning days. This probably needs a member count unlock condition because Friendship Is Cyberstalking— I mean Power.

"dogwooddraws is a secret shipper" truthing begins when a new account pops up after the gayass MGC with a suspiciously familiar drawing style

WEEK 4 (June 22 to 30)

rubywinterrises and dogwooddraws storylines should conclude here if you meet the conditions, with Ruby in early-mid week and Dogwood in mid week.

Being nice to Ruby will give you more propaganda power (since they're the clipper) which helps you to sneak in the last few NPCs

There will be some climatic, mandatory "discourse" moment which pushes you to your limit (and reveals whatever backstory PC has), but if you reach a member count (which should be fairly obtainable if you're looking to win), your friends will defend you because Friendship Is Power

There should be more shippy writers in Ao3 that you can stalk, including one anon that you try to suss out their real identity (their real identity will be a mutual from Week 1 dash who was seemingly uninvitable)

For the final week, "last resort options" for the NPCs introduced in earlier weeks should pop up. Eg. you can choose to make an oddly specific post that guarantees a follow back and friendship but it won't raise friendship with other NPCs. (Eg. If you make general "I like Shower Husbands" posts, you'll raise friendship with all the SH people)

(In the demo, this is why the post option for the SH discourse day is either a follow back or a block from the SH guy. The SH guy has the lowest requirement (excluding the freebie NPC) and I don't want the "easy one" to be locked out because you have to save later days for the harder NPCs)

If you bogpost enough in all the weeks combined (ie. planning in advance), "random" previous uninvitable NPCs from earlier weeks will come into your askbox going "you've converted me into a shipper help" and you can be like "Quit your job. Join my shipping server".

MISC

Emergency "get out of jail free" card that temporarily boosts your fandom enjoyment back up. This means you can get to zero once, then that's it. That card is people posting 2019 SHIPlakebog lmao

Semi-famous Permitcraft fanfic writer who joins your server with a different pseud and only you know their real identity. You can be a dick and expose them, but of course there will be consequences.

Your Twitter exploration can be aided if you befriend Tumblrinas who have Twitter experience (since you don't have it and your bestie Waves is already cancelled lmao). A Twitter literacy meter could be funny

Special member count unlockable events like making a meme or AU with the server that goes on Tumblr that unlocks more people

I don't really want to include member + member conflict within the server even though it's realistic because it'll be a pain to code. Would be fun if you could only invite out of two people because they hate each other. (Has no bearing on endgame because that'll make one choice better than the other and I don't want that) 2019 veteran Waves will warn you so you won't invite both and lose

Friendship chains in which inviting someone also increases friendship with their friends. You can't see this in the demo since the main three are all from different friend groups, but I imagine this can start snowballing later.

[jesncin]

Hi I love you guys' work. I know I already sent in an ask before, but I'm also a queer Indonesian creator who loves animated stories and musicals. And plans to make her own animated indie musical show on YouTube. Which is queer and based on space. And the main character is plus sized, queer, and has a non binary love interest. I wanted to ask since Indonesia is still really homophobic, how do you deal with being a queer Indonesian creator making queer content while your country is extremely homophobic. Because I often feel scared to do so because of what the government might think. Sorry for randomly asking this btw

Hello there! That sounds like a very ambitious project! Best of luck to you, I'm all for more queer space adventures.

So I'm sure to a lot of queer Indonesians looking at the work I'm doing, they're thinking "how the heck are jesncin doing all that and being so loud about it" haha. At least so far (who knows what the future holds now that my book is out) I've managed to create queer Indonesian art online for years (including smaller published work) and had very little homophobic pushback. Which I know I'm very lucky with- I've lost a lot of peers to bigoted locals and hate campaigns. It's a mix of strategies and contingencies I keep to foster as safe a space as I can.

It's a common practice among queer Indonesian activists to speak predominantly in english, something I already do because of my language barrier. Most locals don't bother interacting with an account speaking in english- weaponizing their language barrier haha. I stuck to western spaces early on, but because I drew a lot of blatantly queer Indonesian art- queer Indonesians (diaspora or otherwise) naturally flocked to my stuff. The audience filters itself. I don't interact with local discourse at all. I also stayed away from visibility events (on twidder like #artIDN or #ArtistsofIndonesia or even #tetapbangga for Malaysians) until I felt comfortable with the community I fostered to join in. It's common especially for queer tags to be monitored by bigots looking for people to pick on. Speaking of which, block and don't interact with them. Don't give into the temptation of replying to bigots because it just gives them more ammo. Their goal is to exhaust you so you lock your account and "can't spread your agenda" or whatever.

I purposefully wanted to publish my stories through an American publisher for a lot of reasons, but it certainly helps that Lunar Boy can be out and proud out there where it can't get to be in Indonesia. I notice queer authors here tend to publish either online or internationally with an independent publisher too. Still- you'd be surprised how much the local queer community is enthusiastically ready to support you. Because of the state of Indonesia as it is, everything is handled more "under the radar" for the sake of safety. My personal biggest fear is starting another moral panic incident- but the many queer Indonesian communities I've been in have their own strict rules and precautions to keep members safe. They're worried about that too, but they want to help you succeed! Once my book released, the Indonesian queer community had my back and even helped me with some author events and exclusive meetups. At least for me, it was instrumental to be connected to the local community.

That's where I am for now. I created Lunar Boy while being closeted the entire time. I've erased my queer publications from my resume when applying to author events locally. There's always some kind of assimilation that happens in the process. I'll always be scared of pushback or sparking another moral panic incident. But that's the risk this kind of representation is, isn't it? I had no one else to look up to. No other queer Indonesian graphic novelist making explicitly queer Indonesian stories. It was an isolating experience making this book. But now that I'm here, the next person who comes along won't be alone. And seeing the people who've connected to Lunar Boy, especially other queer Indonesians from all around the world, makes it so worth it.

[miradelletarot]

Ramble Rant Time

*Long heavy sigh*

Here we go again because I'm feeling passionately spicy. Maybe this will piss a few of you off. Maybe it won't. I honestly give zero fucks.

[TLDR: Bullies suck, and I hope your bedding is always uncomfortable no matter what you do to fix it.]

*Impassioned rant below the cut*

Most of you know that when I joined this fandom, it was during a time of severe unrest for me. My mental health was a constant downward spiral and my life was in shambles. BG3 and many members of this fandom helped me to feel seen, heard, valued; all things that I hadn't felt in a very, very long time.

By and large, I have had a great experience within the fandom with very little drama I have had to personally deal with. This is my first fandom experience ever so I went into this whole thing blind, really. I had no expectations. I have, however, interacted with some amazing people, and three of those individuals I have had the utter pleasure to meet in person. They are now some of my best friends (the 4th I hope to meet someday when I have the means to travel abroad...you know who you are.) So, when I say my life is forever changed for the better *because* of this game and this fandom, I'm not being dramatic or anything. I mean it with my whole fucking chest, y'all.

My main motto in life is to live and let live. you go your way, I go mine, and if we vibe that's great. If we don't, that's great too. Let's just exist and be happy. Don't yuck someone's yum, ya know?

It was because of fandom discourse a while back that I changed the entire path of my longfic because I was afraid I would be vilified and rejected. In hindsight, I think it still worked out better the way things ended up going, but I was so scared that I was afraid of losing the already very very very *very* small readership that I had because I had a different perspective on a particular topic of discussion. I still have the chapter and I'm proud of it, but very few people have ever seen it, and it survives forever as an AU. I am struggling to continue my fic because the direction I want to go veers into territory that people don't often like (which is fine, but again, I'm trying to cling to the few readers I still have with a pleading death grip and I'm afraid to lose them). I realize this isn't the move (write for yourself etc etc,) but when I write for myself I want to get feedback from people. is it good? Did you like it? Did it make you feel something so intense that you wanna make art from it? Is it memorable? That feedback is huge for me, as I'm sure it is for any creative. We write and draw and render to share the ideas that we are passionate about, the stories we wish to tell. it's not always going to be for everyone. I know no one in the world cares about my OC as much as I do, and that's okay. There's so many things out there in this fandom that are *for* someone and that's cool. Not everyone has to like everything, and not everything created is for certain people. It's OKAY. Vibe or move on.

There are parts of this fandom that I am just NOT a fan of. Some things border on fanon than canon that deviate so far away from the canon character(s) that at that point, it's no longer the core character and those individuals have essentially created a new character based off of the canon character(s).

[and I have some feelings on that tbh which is why I have a feeling I'll piss a few ppl off with this stance but that's a whole ass other topic for another rant.]

At the end of the day, I'm still not going to go out of my way to tell someone they can't do that stuff, or that their perspective is wrong. I might not like it or agree with it, but *it doesn't fucking matter*. Those people can vibe and I can scroll on by or hide the content so I can vibe with my own shit and we don't have to fucking fight about it.

I say all this stuff because I am growing so tired of the needless bullying and hatred towards others who do stuff you simply don't like.

Not everything needs to be called out. Not everything requires justice. Not everything needs to be "fixed" to suit your personal narrative.

Focus your attention on whats going on in this world. There are tired and hungry and displaced people. There are people dying. People are losing their rights, or were born in a place where they never had them. Use that energy to fight for *those* people. You want to be a keyboard warrior and pour your time and energy into callout posts, google docs filled with evidence and rallying people to your cause? Then do it for the greater good...not to bully and otherwise antagonize others.

MAKE SOME GOOD TROUBLE.

Many of y'all aren't gonna like this...but the way you bullies treat others, it looks JUST like when Trump supporters concern themselves too much with trans folks (just an example because it's relevant to our current political climate.). How they go out of their way to hate them just because of their life choices. It doesn't change how any of those people go about their day so why are those haters so pressed about someone's lifestyle choices? It literally has no effect on them and yet they sit there and whine and complain and hate and harm *just because they don't like it*.

[The caveat here is that there are very select few times when this is necessary if someone is blatantly a racist or homophobic, etc. These sorts of callouts are necessary to maintain safety within a community and making sure people are aware of who they are interacting with is OK. This is not what I am referring to in this post...which I hope you have enough common sense to understand that.]

This fandom was built on a foundation of love, support and acceptance. The GAME instilled that in us...or at least it should have. We all have been victims of some sort of ab*se or awful mental health. We are all working hard to overcome our unique obstacles and share ourselves with others who are fighting the same fights as we are.

My goal, as an individual is to love and support others. I may not understand your journey or identify with it, but I will support you and love you regardless as long as you are not harming yourself or others. I'll be your mom and tell you i'm fucking proud of you and I am glad you're here. I grew up in a home that did not have those things. I grew up with manipulative, narcissistic people. People who are racists, homophobes, and dismissive with mental health concerns. it sucks. I understand. I see you.

I have seen many of you make posts about coming out or sharing your struggles with mental and/or physical health, or sharing your transitioning journeys among so many other things. Some of you don't have that support at home but you do in this community. That's what it's supposed to be about. Lifting each other up. Celebrating our wins, (digitally) holding each other through losses or otherwise hard times. Having some basic fucking compassion.

THIS should be the focus. Love. Respect. Dignity. Appreciation. Compassion. Perspective. NOT hate, bullying, belittling, disrespect and otherwise negative behavior. Take that shit somewhere else. Stop running people out of this fandom who have every right to be here as much as everyone else.

If you are one of these shitty people then go find others like you and make your OWN space away from the rest of us so we can vibe and chill and be happy.

We're all just trying to make it. We're all just trying to get through another day and wake up to face the horrors that persist. We are surviving and thriving. This is supposed to be our safe haven from all the chaos.

idk how to wrap this up honestly. This went on far longer than I anticipated, and i doubt many of you are gonna read it. After all, I am just one minute voice in the vast and ever-changing sea of social media. Most of you will go TLDR and scroll on and that's fine. For the few of you who do read this, I thank you for the time. I hope it resonated with you. I hope you feel inclined to share it with others.

For those of you who are going through it, know that I see you. If I could teleport to your location and have a coffee or tea with you and just chat, i would.

I think Neil Newbon said it best. "You're not alone in this. None of us are." This is the energy we need to focus on, y'all. We need to stick together and stop hurting each other. Please. *Please*.

[slenderverseagainsthate]

Hi! i love the blog and the sentiment of making the fandom a more accepting place

just wanted to ask what exactly drove you to make this blog? what started the idea?

PS The only exposure i ever had to the "Fandom Against Thing" type blog is the legendarily awful "Sonic For Real Justice" and although I know that you all are waaay more accepting belief-wise and probably nicer I'm still scared you'll also have drama, you probably won't but I get pretty paranoid when it comes to this stuff

another PS: how do mods for these blogs choose a character? is it like who fits your personality most or who you like most or something else?

Hi anon... First, let me say thank you for supporting our mission. The internet is a seriously cruel place, especially in the Slenderverse. I've been pushed off of account after account for immature shipping discourse, which is pretty cruel. That was ages ago now, though. That's what motivated *me* specifically to join this account. Like my intro says, if you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. A little shipping never hurt anyone.

As for everyone else, you'd have to ask. From what I understand, Lee received a lot of death threats for just being himself on his personal blog in 2014, and the haters took down his blog during a harassment campaign. Fucked up.

You don't have to worry about us being problematic, that's our whole thing. We hate hate. I don't know what that blog you referenced, but we promise to be drama free. It's our mission to make the Slenderverse a peaceful place where everyone can be themselves despite differences. I'm not one to judge, I just look the other way.

○ Mod Stan

[silver-wield]

I really fell in love with Cloud and Tifa when I played Remake last year and I’m so excited for Rebirth now.

I didn’t have a Twitter account because I could still read everything but now Elon makes it so it’s all limited if you don’t make one.

I’m a little scared honestly because I know how people on both sides of this shipping discourse treat newly made accounts… do you have any advice for trying to get involved? I really want to join in and share my experience and excitement with others who feel the same for Rebirth but I keep chickening out. If I had an ounce of artistic talent it would be easier haha.

It's probably better not to join. The place is a cesspit and unless you wanna wear the mantle of "good cloti" and constantly pander to "nice" Aerith stans (no such thing, they're all closet cleriths including a lotta zeriths because they just want Aerith to collect all the mens) then you'll get harassed and targeted. You will anyway because cleriths can't help themselves. They have to attack every cloti they see, but they're gonna be especially vile once Rebirth drops and their delusions get shattered again.

If you really wanna join then just make an account, make an intro twt and follow some cloti accounts like Manu or Nightmare. I'd also be a bit wary of which artists you follow because some render ones make clerith garbage so you can't just follow any artist.

When you play the game remember to # spoilers so people can mute tags. It's the worst when people don't tag properly. The best way to interact with the fandom is to use #cloti #FF7Rebirth #TifaLockhart #CloudStrife and just have fun chatting with people. Aside from the invading dumdums, who you can literally just block on sight they're not worth talking to, most people are cool. They'll probably tell you to block me because I'm "toxic" which basically means I have no time to pander to anyone who talks about Aerith like her shit don't stink 🤷

[northropi]

ACVI is probably the widest disconnect between the degree to which I feel good at the game and the degree to which I like the overall feel of the game I've ever experienced, with Ultrakill as a runner-up.

I've only just gotten to the end of Chapter 1. I got bopped for getting greedy in CH2M1 and going for combat logs on those Tetrapods while being too scared to take resupplies out of fear that I'd get locked into that room before finding everything, and haven't really attempted that one since because frankly I'm gonna need to devise a build with more ammo first, while also just buying out half the shop in general so I don't get stuck without an easy way to overwhelm a boss again. ("oh look at me i beat Balteus with shotguns you don't need pulse weapons to do it" well i didn't have those either, genius)

Now factor in my job, the fact I'm going for a trip this weekend, and my sheer executive dysfunction, and I don't anticipate to get anywhere close to the end for a few months.

It makes me think about why I tend to shy away from games I know to be hard, you know? One definite factor is that beating something hard is just not satisfying to me. The way people describe the feeling of a boss being a pain in the ass enhancing the feeling of winning is alien to me. I feel bad during the attempts and I almost feel worse when I beat it. I get mad and cuss it out as it goes down, far from the usual reaction you see from people who like that sort of thing.

On top of that I'm never sure if I got good or if I got lucky. I don't think I'd suddenly be able to do what I did again- and I swear I straight-up glitched Balteus because while it brought the flamethrowers out at 50% HP the winning run didn't see it pop assault armor until it was at like 25%, and I two-cycled the thing. Ultrakill, Claire de Soliel on Violent, my approach essentially got patched out with the harder weapon freshness rules now. Marauder, all that time ago, yeah I ate too many hits, with only a few successful attempts at sidestepping as I stood at optimal range with the SSG out- would not have flown on any higher difficulty. At least ACVI doesn't make me have to wrap my brain around constant weapon switching, though, but the fact that I tend to play all at once without taking breaks until I'm done, out of fear that I'll forget tricks I do pick up, probably also isn't helping my performance or my mood. I stayed up for like three hours on Balteus, it just wasn't fun.

After the AH12 I felt great, that was like three attempts. Juggernaut went down in two, that optional Tetrapod was like three, and I was shredding every conventional AC I found. I kinda joined into the meme of "the Souls fans don't know how to comprehend a vertical axis." That, I feel, is kind of true. Flight is an adjustment that came naturally to me because it's just part of the games I play the most. I felt vindicated that a group I saw as acclimated to hard games was hitting a rut when they encountered a challenge I dealt with on the regular. But from everything I hear, it's almost like having an easy time with the Helo and Juggernaut, and even Sulla, who I chewed up and spat out in a matter of seconds, is almost an indicator of how bad you're gonna do on Balteus.

It's here that it all caught up to me. I can flaunt how the movement fits me like a glove, but anyone who's just used to hard games in general has a lot that I don't. Reaction times, adaptability, planning, tilt-resistance, and, of course, fucking mindset- the ability to enjoy the gauntlet, or at least to walk away and come back refreshed.

I don't have these, and I don't think I can learn them.

This is kind of where the shitty difficulty discourse we've been in for ten years breaks apart. Souls games initially seemed like a mix of just not looking like my type of game on a functional level, and too hard for me to approach, and with what looked like little reward for a lot of struggling, I simply didn't. With how popular they are, it eventually hit me that they actually do look really fun when they're not pushing your nose into the dirt. I wanna play them in some context where I can be kept from getting mad, streaming them with friends or something (unfortunate that the one that looks the most appealing to me is also currently the least accessible).

Here comes ACVI, which I knew was gonna be hard but, hey, at least it closes the other side of that equation, maybe I'll have fun losing or even "git gud" and have some talent to show for it. Then Balteus made me feel fucking ill and I just don't know anymore. I kinda just want to go back to drawing for the last few hours of this weekend, but I'm afraid I'll never finish it if I do. Maybe a more functional version of me would see that break as exactly what she needs to come back and crush it but with the brain I have here and now that's not happening and this is at serious risk of becoming a second Signalis situation.

[lore-pls]

Heya, just wanted to say thank you so much for making your gorgeous art public. I've been writing romantic fic about the Salamanders for a while but I'm too scared to post it anywhere because the community can be a bit weird about that kind of thing. (Plus, I'm queer myself and have always preferred m/m ships with big guys, but current discourse has got me feeling all weird about liking that.) But seeing you share yours makes me think maybe I can share mine someday. Thanks again.

Oh wow. Nonnie, this is such a sweet message. Thank you so much. 

When I first joined this fandom, I was pretty nervous about posting art and actually tagging it warhammer 40k because I was worried about jerks. I’ve probably just been lucky and flying enough under the radar but I’ve yet to receive any kind of hate for my art and/or shipping preferences. I’m also queer and really into shipping big guys (one of the reasons I fell in with Space Wolves is that they’re big AND hairy, which is a winning combo!) and yeah, sometimes people can be a little weird about it. I’m glad other people enjoy pretty boys and feminizing space marines and Primarchs, but I’m here for romanticizing/sexualizing these hyper-masculine characters. 

Anyways. This comment really means a lot to me. And should you ever get around to posting your fic, I would love to read it. Salamanders don’t get enough love (calling out myself here, too!).

[autobot-ratchet]

earthspark season three episode one!

so Bee is still cool with Breakdown huh. I'm gonna be real I'm happy we're not just tossing Breakdown or his relationship with Bee in the trash over the happenings of season two but also like. he did kinda help Starscream try to kill the Maltos and the plan was very much to move on to kill all other humans lmfAO are we just gonna be like "haha oh you" about it or

oh we. actually are talking about it lmfAO wow okay I genuinely didn't expect that. it's okay buddy I know corporate writing got a hold of you and made you do all that shit, I knew from the beginning you were never meant to side with Starscream

oh Robby as someone trying to get all the volumes of mtmte I feel your pain lmAO

ooh is Bee gonna break his boyfriend out

are there like. traces of chaos energy in this little dome or something??? at first I thought all the red lightning was Skywarp doing her thing but nah, her ass just got zapped lmAO

lol stupid idiot got stuck in the titan

interesting that Breakdown's playing big bad decepticon in front of Soundwave. is he just too scared to fully defect so he just goes along with whatever his superior officers want in order to save face? that'd explain him helping Starscream perfectly but also I kinda wish they had been able to get into that before just now lmAO ah well at least we're getting into it at all

ooh interesting drama. I knew it'd be resolved easily bc Mo and Thrash are nice but I do like that they did get mad about Bee being sneaky with them

HAH omg it's the issue with the "all are dead" Shockwave cover, love that. and I swear the hit list behind him is a reference to another comic book cover, a marvel one, but fuck if I remember which one I'm not really a marvel guy, I've just seen that hit list referenced multiple times before lmAO

I'm not gonna be disappointed just yet bc Breakdown's been doing a lot of back and forth and I don't know if he's for real about betraying Bee but. man please don't just have him be bad lmAO Breakdown joining the Malto team would've been the perfect way to start fixing the weirdness the last season made me feel about how this show is handling the decepticons, please do not bait me like that

interesting, the decepticons are following Shockwave now and Shockwave just wants to leave earth, fair enough

oh hey Frenzy, haven't seen you in a while

I do like this argument they're having during the race, this is some good dialogue

dang, so Breakdown did actually betray Bee and won't be getting a redemption arc and I got baited. is this my punishment for laughing at the Megatron discoursers and Starscream apologists lmfAO I won't apologize I'll gladly take this L if it means they get an L, equivalent exchange

after everything we went through to get this fuckin comic he's gonna hate the ending isn't he. oh I guess we'll never know lmAO

[once-and-future-alaskan]

Eh. Good enough opportunity as any to elaborate on my gender progression because of the way I phrased it in my tags here. I'll put it under the read more for politeness sake.

Starting from the top:

I'm not gonna unpack my entire sob story of my childhood since that's not really the point here and also, like, I'm an adult who works for a living. I'm very much over it and only wish I'd been able to make peace and move past it sooner in life.

In general, I tend to perceive my child self as a boy pretending to be Jango Fett. To respect his wishes and because even he hated our birth name, i will be referring to him as such. Jango exists in a secluded, rarely visited, area of the Mind Kremlin that occasionally nessesitates my attention when his fantasies start to break down and the reality of his lived experience creeps in.

After all, you don't leave a scared and confused kid alone to confront the hard truths about his parents and his upbringing just because you already figured them out, right?

I dont actually wish I could go back and reveal the trans truth to Jango. While I recall more than one fleeting moments of wishing to be a girl as a young boy, they were all promptly dealt with by my parents at the time and in general I don't think they were that meaningful to how I turned out. Really, I feel very comfortable conceiving of Jango, child me, as a boy. I don't think the way one perceives their past gender really has any meaningful implications about their current identity.

No, more than anything, I do wish I could go back and tell him that things are gonna get very scary and confusing, and he DOESN’T just have to accept it. He's going to be weaponized by his parents against each other, and that's NOT OK. He's going to have to endure a lot of abuse of a kind he won't fully understand, and it sucks and it's OK for him to cry about it.

I wish I could tell him he was allowed to find kittens cute, that he should be shameless in his little joys, that he should never stop loving the things he loved. And that yes, I'd give him a hug.

My high school self is more like my teenage selves, plural, since I think of this as the versions of me from like age 12 to 15 and then 15 to 17 as two similar but separate individuals. We'll refer to them as Scott for the former and Nico for the latter.

Sorry, Nic'o. They were very specific about that back then, and as annoying as I find them, I will respect their wishes since I know where this is going. Scott uses he/him still. Nic'o uses he/they with a retroactive heavy preference for they, they only ever identified as just "Ace" because Tumblr discourse hadn't discovered the difference between romantic and sexual attraction yet.

Anyway, Scott and Nic'o exist in various places of the Mind Kremlin and used to like butting their heads in the main office daily to remind me of various horrible and embarrassing memories. With time, though, the two have gotten much quieter and seem to be slowly making their way to Jangos area. It's been some time since Scott was a real nuisance and may have already taken up residence there, Nic'o still lingers outside my office occasionally, though.

Scott is less interesting from a gender perspective. He was the beginning of my rebellious streak in the form of adopting 2010s internet atheism and communist symbols to piss off my conservative father, even if he didn't realize that's why he was doing it. The only noteworthy facet from a gender perspective was he's when i realized i could call myself whatever the hell i wanted and adopted Scott as my given alias. He is also why I first joined tumblr. Which, for all the numerous faults this sites had then and now, it's how I was even introduced to greater LGBT concepts beyond abstract "gayness" and a boogeyman version of transsexuals.

The way it did this was incomplete, flawed, and typically problematic, but, silver linings.

Nic'o began to take form after finally ending my relationship with my father. Nic'o decided they would have their name legally changed to Nicholas as a life goaI, and adopted Nic'o as their favorite nickname. This is the time when i began identifying as Asexual as it felt most accurate to myself and, as anyone who knows me can tell you, was what i still identified as until last year!

When i say Nic'os gender neutral pronouns are retroactive as there were far more times in this era where I toyed with the idea of being something other than cis, but didn’t understand gender transition in any capacity and never took up non he/him pronouns in that era. As much as I'd love to grace them with the sacred she/hers, I don't think Nic'o was quite there yet mentally.

Anyway. If I could deal with Scott and Nic'o in their times, I'd rip their asses for not trying hard enough and, more importantly, not taking care of themselves. Jfc Nic'o you, especially, looked like shit, how nobody ever told you to shave that nasty ass scraggly neckbeard for three years is a gd mystery to me.

Then, I'd hug them, since I know what was happening in their brains and at home.

For simplicity sake, we'll call myself from the ages of 18 to 22 Taka since that was my online alias till...2021, I think? Maybe? Doesn't matter. Taka used She/They with a heavy preference for She, and if we're being honest, never liked the they at all actually. She identified as Ace-Aro.

Taka exists in one of the suites of the Mind Kremlin and enjoys regularly bsrging into the main office to trigger some horrible memory or whatever. I wouldn’t say she's gotten quieter lately so much as like to act as my worst half sometimes. Of I'm being frank, most of the time I catch myself thinking some internalized transphobia or misogyny that's dressed up in liberal language, it's usually her to blame.

She meant well, gods forgive her. Taka was embarrassingly stuck in the Baby Trans state till she was like 21 or so. Real deep into the "breadtube" thing for entirely too long and surrounded by entirely too many white neoliberal seattle trans women for her own good.

I'd go deeper, but I won't for my own sanity. This was the worst point in my life for many reasons. A lot of it was self inflicted.

The one positive I can say for her was it was in her era I found faith again. I admit to lapsing in my practice for far too long, but my spirituality has been a critical pillar to me in the last few years.

If I could speak to her, I don't think she'd listen, but I'd try and make her see what her relationships for what they were. More than anything else, I think that was the first step.

So now we come to me.

I'm Alaskan. That's not my name, but I don't like people not in my circle using my real one. You can infer it from Nic'os real name, though.

I am a 26 years old trans woman. I use she/her pronouns and am a lesbian-aromantic.

In the last two years I have realized I am a lesbian through the help of my wonderful friends. In using they/them pronouns at work I came to realize how much I hate them when actually applied to myself. I am a woman. I go by she/her. Do not call me otherwise.

I also realized I'm Autistic, which is fun and incredibly obvious.

In the time since Taka, ive learned and grown a great deal, but I still need to do better.

I know if I ever do something like this post again a few years from now, I will be seen as another past version. Perhaps I'll even be seen by my future self as just as bad as Taka, though I certainly hope not.

Regardless, there will always be a better future me, and I can't wait to meet her.

I'll be honest, there was something oddly cathartic about my weird little fit of interacting with past me's posts like she was some random idiot stranger earlier. Something something treating a version of yourself as a separate entity to call her a stupid bitch.

No, i'm not plural, oh my god some of you people i swear.

[namingofcatszine]

Not sure how to say this, but this whole thing seems really sketchy. No one knows who you are or anything and now you're appointing yourself as some kind of leader? Think there are tons of contributors and older blogs that could be involved but you probably scared them away already. Yikes. Then to be pick and choosy? For what? Seems like a slap into the face to those that are not seen as important enough to you and the 'mods'.

Hi! Thanks for your concern!

To give a proper introduction to who I am and what I do, please refer to my instagram , my twitter, and my upcoming small business account . Here is my Tumblr, too. I made a recent post about my current fear of somehow "scaring people away". My name is Peach. I am 20 years old. I have been a fan of CATS since 2021, but I haven't exactly expressed my love for this musical to any social media due to personal embarrassment and fear. Ever since I saw it live for the first time in the Oasis of the Seas production last summer, I've grown back into this phase and this time, it's bigger than ever! I'm going to see the US Tour production in March of this year and I'm super excited!

The reason why I wanted to make this zine is because I haven't really seen a CATS zine being made! (I know there was one, but that was years ago). There's so many wonderful artists and fic writers that I have seen and I wanted to create a special zine dedicated to this musical that I have grown to love! I have experience in sourcing products, manufacturing my own stickers, I have even run a successful Kickstarter Campaign that raised over $25k to fund plushies that I have designed for another fandom I'm in! I am and have been the owner of several Discord servers in the past, moderating them and running them. I have also been in several Zine projects for different fandoms so far as well. (Matsuhana Calendar 2023, To Have You As a Partner Iwaoi Wedding Zine, and currently the Haikyuu Tarot Project Zine).

I have prepped all Mod forms, Contributor forms, schedule, Zine page layout, Zine Discord server, pitch sheets, and more ever since I came up with this idea literally three days ago.

I know I'm not known in this fandom, but if nobody else was going to do the hard work, who is? I'm not establishing myself as a leader, I'm just very experienced in organizing events and I know where to source my products. I, myself, am an artist, a merch designer, and a little bit of a fic writer. I'm a go-getter. Sorry if this seems leader-ish, but organizing projects such as these requires a leader and I'm stepping up to do so.

If you're concerned about me "scaring away" older accounts, I never had any intention of doing so. When the Interest Check forms were released, I had comments and concerns regarding "proshippers" which is why I addressed it in the first place. I don't like to leave people in the dark about topics but I regret addressing the problem because it led to so many other problems. I am also currently addressing the problem of having other creators "fear" this project because of what people spoke up about first.

If older blogs would love to be involved, then you're free to do so! I'm not stopping anybody. The Zine is for all artists and writers in the CATS fandom! I never said that anyone wasn't allowed in. I, Peach, am a very accepting person. I'm approachable too.

I have been a victim of being wrongly accused in past fandoms because I speak up against meaningless harassment and hate towards creators who have been wrongly accused of something they're not. I love to see fanart and I love to read fics. I would never want to exclude anybody who don't think they can join because of useless fandom discourse. This is a musical about singing and dancing cats haha.

By me being "picky and choosy", I'm not. This zine has room for 25 artists, 5 writers, 7 merch artists, 3 print artists, and 5 guest contributors (who have been recommended by the audience who have answered the form) because it is what I deem fitting for a fandom of this size, cost-wise, and also location-wise. This is the usual amount of contributors that most Zines have.

If there are anymore comments or concerns about me, Peach, then please DM me! Please don't forget to check my other socials too!

Also, if you'd like to read my Mod page on the Zine carrd, then please do so!

Lovely to meet you! And whoever wants to join the zine can join! It's not up to me, it's up to you!

[olderthannetfic]

Really fond of your blog. I love that the conversations are like... nuanced, chill, mature. Maybe it's just because I'm a newbie but it seems really hard to find this sort of thing.

You speak with a lot of clarity on human sexuality; or at least kink stuff. I know you have several years of experience in fandom spaces and I'm wondering if the clarity that you have is a result of this, or if you have some kind of background in psychology. Or maybe you just read a lot of books on this stuff?

No hard feelings if this question is too nosy. I'm just curious.

--

It is weirdly hard. I think a lot of the people who used to talk like this are old and tired now and feel like "public" in fandom is actually public in a way they may not have 10 years ago.

If you go listen to ancient episodes of /Report, they're more squee and less blather about human sexuality, but they give me an oldschool fandom vibe I fancy I also have. Ditto people's long-ass Livejournal posts from that same era. More of us used to sound like this in places that were more findable.

In terms of human sexuality stuff specifically, I was a little perv growing up in the Bay Area at the height of Cleis Press's 90s output. I wanted to be a sexologist when I was 14. I grew up reading Susie Bright. (Hilariously, years later, I once got Susie Bright in the LibraryThing secret santa exchange.) My actual schooling was biochem, then linguistics, then film. I just read a lot.

I think if you grew up around here in the 90s, there's a certain amount of poppsych, self help, human sexuality stuff that's just in the water too. I wouldn't say it makes everyone actually smart about psych stuff, but there's a greater degree of talking about things and knowing buzzwords than some places.

I'm only 41, but I came out at 14. I think that's another difference. I'm back in my family home right now, and the old lesbians next door are still there. Now, my across the street neighbors are these two gay guys I scream about film noir with. One of them is getting into geikomi and I'm reccing him all my favorite old nonfiction books on gay Japanese dudes and BL vs. geikomi and the history of sexuality in Japan and such.

Years of being out with a supportive family and years of knowing queer intellectuals offline, including a lot who are way older than me has had a big effect. Years of knowing intellectuals in general has as well. As a kid, we spent a lot of evenings at my stepdad's friends' restaurant where all their friends would drift in and out, Cheers-like, and conversations were about things like this one woman's painting cycle she was working on that was about castrated Greek statues.

I think plenty of people build a life like that as adults, but they don't always get there until they've had time to escape their families and hometowns. A lot of queer discourse in fandom in 2022 is coming from high school and college students who haven't been out in the world and who don't know older queer people or even many offline queer people aside from a small circle of school friends.

I do think I have some clarity, but a lot of the difference between me and people I see screaming about shit is that I like myself.

I don't need to join a mob for protection or comfort. I'm not afraid of my own impulses. I'm not afraid to look intellectual in public. And I like procrastinating by answering asks on tumblr and am not scared to leave anon on.

None of that is rare in isolation, but a large proportion of older queer people, intellectuals, etc. are worn out from all the sealioning and screaming Youths who invariably have more free time and more self righteousness in any era. (I was a very annoying 14-year-old, trust me.) A lot of younger people who aren't joining screaming dogpiles don't have the chutzpah to stand up in public and potentially make fools of themselves. And even people who do post the sorts of things I do usually have less free time than I do. My offline friends are introverts who work long hours. And if you don't post a lot, you aren't findable. I always posted a fair amount, but it wasn't enough to be really findable before. It's only the last few years when tumblr is much quieter and I've posted very regularly that I've started to be found by people far outside of my existing sphere.

We're no longer a tiny circle of a few hundred to few thousand Livejournal slash fen who like the same 5 buddy cop series and sci-fi with The Beefy One and The Science One. We don't even have a profile page where you can see who we follow, like on LJ/DW. We're thousands and millions of random geeks who lack an easy way to connect.

I'm about to go to Escapade Con at the end of April. It's an oldschool con that is all this kind of conversation, and the attendees have still spent the last few years going "Where is everybody?" Finding shit is genuinely hard.

Last year, when we were all online, we attracted a ton of old LJ fans who've been wondering where everybody is for ages. Hopefully, they come back for the online wing of the con this year too.

[jerzwriter]

Did you get scared while releasing DTI and getting that much backlash for it?

Did you ever think to stop sharing the story?

I think it's an amazing story and I'm honestly so impressed by you. For your writing and for having the courage to go through that.

To come into a Fandom and say "I'm going to take the main couple and end their love story", (like Shonda with Merder and Slexie and Jolex 😭) and in their prime time when the Fandom was bigger, must have taken a lot of guts.

Hey Nonny,

You know when they say ignorance is bliss? lol Well...

With the exception of an alternate ending to the canon series, I hadn't written anything else when I entered the fandom. DTI was my start (I like to dive in head first. 😂 And, while I read several fanfic writers before I joined Tumblr, I wasn't on Tumblr, so I really didn't understand the discourse, politics... and fucking lunacy... until I was here. And I'm glad about that because if I had, I don't know if I would have done it, and I'm quite glad I did.

But no, I never considered stopping writing or sharing it. If people didn't like it, no one was forcing them to read.

Now, a little history. My initial intent was to have three separate endings, and each reader could choose their own... Choices... after all. But here is what happened.

I needed to make the Ethan/Casey break up quite cruel and painful in order to make it believable that Casey would attempt to move on. And, I believe it was delivered. It delivered to the point that I no longer thought it was believable for Casey to return to Ethan without giving up her dignity. Yes, his actions stemmed from a place of great pain; however, he had hurt her - an innocent bystander who simply loved him - not once but twice. Casey is not a fool.

I was already stressed over that decision, then I started getting a ton of DMs and anons from people. Some told me about their past relationships, where they truly loved someone, but they were no longer safe for them. About their struggles of moving on and the pain they endured. Some had moved on to have happier, healthier relationships as a result.

I also got very disturbing messages from women that basically said Casey was a horrible villain. That she should take whatever abuse was heaped upon her by Ethan because he had suffered in the past. I was like... let's slam on the breaks RIGHT THERE. NO. HARD NO. I don't care what the situation is, no one is justified in hurting anyone else because of what happened to them. Broken people cut others until they heal themselves, but that doesn't mean the others don't bleed.

Casey bled once, and she forgave him and allowed him a second chance. Now, she was hurt again... and she knew where this was stemming from, but I HAD to show her having enough self-respect to walk away and protect herself above all others. It became about much more than a silly story about fictional characters. I lost sleep. If ONE young woman took away that it's OK to be treated that way because "you love someone," I couldn't live with that. In real life, I have worked with survivors of domestic abuse, and I could not do it.

So, I scrapped the other 2 endings (one where she chose Ethan, one where she chose no one) and moved forward.

I'm very happy with the ending because I believe everyone got a happy ending. As a loyal reader said to me once, "The only reason you're getting grief is that it's Ethan & Casey. Change Ethan to any other name, the people who are persecuting you for your choices would have been demanding he suffer and pay." She was spot on.

I do think there was one path to them reconciling. If things didn't work with Tobias & Casey and Ethan & Sonia. If each of them had gone on years (and it would have to be YEARS), and it never worked with anyone else. If Casey saw SUSTAINED PROOF that Ethan had truly changed, and that strong love, platonic love, that had replaced what they once shared continued, they could have made their way back to each other. But it would have been a minimum of a decade down the line. I've toyed with writing that, but I'm not inclined to do it.

Wow, that became excessively long. Of course, if you read DTI, this should come as no shock to you! lol

Thank you so much for reading and sending this ask. I don't think any series or work will ever compare to what DTI means to me, so you have no idea how much I treasure this interaction. Thank you!

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.