#i'm asexual and an SA survivor

[joanofexys]

if people start spinning the sex-repulsed, traumatized by sex so couldn't possibly enjoy sex view with Jean Moreau I will be coming after them with knives because have you morons not learned a single fucking lesson about infantilizing SA survivors

[oblivions-dawn]

I'm so tired of you assholes making Serana asexual due to her trauma. I'm so tired of you assholes making Serana 'heal her aceness' with your character. I'm so tired of you assholes essentially taking a SA survivor and saying she's completely repulsed by sex and never fully heals from her trauma because of it.

Either make her asexual from the fucking beginning or don't bother at all.

[murky-tannin]

People learn the difference between canon and headcanon challenge

[olderthannetfic]

I've seen at least two posts on Instagram from authors now saying "omg, someone asked me if there's spice in my book about a SA survivor, how insensitive" and I'm just like ????

Do these authors know that SA survivors don't become asexual, or even necessarily celibate? In fact, some of them even become hypersexual as a coping mechanism.

And of course, "the magical dick / pussy from the True Love cures them of trauma" is a relatively popular trope for better or for worse.

I totally get why someone might not want to have sex scenes in a book about a SA survivor, but like "does this romance book have sex scenes" is a very normal fucking question to ask, regardless of whatever themes you're peddling, specially when your themes mean sex scenes are actually a pretty good vehicle for characterization.

--

[capinejghafa]

ooh! I would love to hear your thoughts about Kanej and how they could bridge a gap between them being people who love/want each other and lead it to sex… or if you don’t think this way lmk too

I personally think that Bardugo left it open to them to eventually have a physical relationship. But I can also see someone who is ace believe them to never need it, at least never need sex but still enjoy physical intimacy (hand holding, kissing, cuddling, nothing much more beyond that).

I think Leigh Bardugo definitely intended for Kaz and Inej to eventually bridge that gap from holding hands to kissing, to leading them to have sex. I don't think there's nothing particularly wrong people who have such trauma with touch to want to have. In the books, LB has shown us that Kaz, in particular, has romantic feelings for other girls but due to age/circumstances nothing happened. I think it's hard for Inej because she was taken when she was 14.

The problem isn't that Kaz and Inej don't want it, it's that the trauma is severe. Throughout both the book and show, we see them gravitate towards each other. We see the phrase like his girl, his wraith, her husband; we learn about their deep connection that other people notice. Leigh isn't trying to hide what they mean to each other (even Nik sees it lol)

To develop a relationship between the two it's going to take time, it's going to take energy, space, and room to grow together and apart. I would even add maybe exploration of their sexuality, since of the six of crows only three we know for certain. I'm not personally of the belief that they shouldn't be allowed to explore with other people (not that I read a lot of Kaz or Inej with an OC... Kanej has to always has to be the endgame for me). I think that's why I could easily buy into bi!Kanej simply because they are actually rather young and have the capacity to grow, explore, and learn about themselves if they so choose to.

And listen before I get into this next part: there is nothing wrong with being ace, you are valid, you are real.

I don't personally agree with the hc of ace!Kanej. I think i might be more inclined if it was stated that they were on the ace spectrum. Something like demi!Kanej works because they have grown to develop that type of relationship. The personal issue I have with ace!Kaz or ace!Inej is people's assumption that asexuality has to do with trauma, both of the sexual nature or circumstantial nature. As someone who identifies as demi bi, that type of thinking is so harmful and for someone who is a survivor of SA... I take issues with it because it's so personal. At the end of the day, I'm not going to police people for hc-ing Kaz or Inej as ace and that's that on that.

I think it's important to that we acknowledge that these kids aren't getting the therapy they desperately need but they aren't beyond the abilities to grow as characters or in a relationship.

[rosemarydisaster]

Hi hello, Ace-Aro person here: please stop talking over us and infantilizing us.

If I see one more take about how you need to keep fandom clean because "we need to protect the asexuals" I'll riot. Here's the thing, some ace people are uncomfortable with nsfw. So are some alosexual people. That's why it's important to tag things accordingly so other people can manage their experience. That has nothing to do with being ace though.

I think people conflate asexual with sex repulsed and then further conflate lack of sex with being a child. I'm 26, even if sex made me uncomfortable I can voice it myself as a grown woman. You don't need to "protect me".

The protection narrative is very puritanical christian culture. I can keep myself safe, thank you very much, you don't need to wage holy war on boobs in my name. In fact, I am fighting the crusade on the side of the boobs.

A lot of ace people are very pro sex so long as it doesn't involve us. Some actually do have sex, lack of attraction doesn't mean lack of libido.

When you see ace people, survivors of sa, neurodivergent people or even minors as "poor sweet things that need to be protected" instead of actual people, that's when you drink the purity culture Kool aid. If you're old enough to be on social media you're old enough to use the tools at your disposal to filter the content you see. We don't need anyone harassing others in our name.

We should teach people how to use these tools instead of forcing everyone to act PG 13 (which is what the advertisers want you to do btw). Also, consider how it makes us feel when you speak over us saying that ace/ND/sa survivors are uncomfortable with sex when a lot os us aren't. Hell, purity culture has been proven to be very damaging for the minors it was meant to protect (lack of sex Ed, repression and feelings of guilt make you easier to groom too). Kiddifying the internet is harmful even for the minors.

So please, next time you read about how we need to make fandom "safer for ace people" I want you to remember that statistically speaking a lot of the nsfw artists you're harassing are ace. Tag things, block words, keep yourself safe and let others live.

But, most of all: stop making generalizations about communities (even if you're in them) to justify your censorship.

[frosty-the-killer-doll]

Caitlin snow headcannon list? /nf

oh autism

ACTIVATED

polyamorous biromantic sex-repulsed asexual! per my Arrowverse Polycule AU, Cait is currently in relationships with: Ronnie (married), Cisco (queerplatonically), Iris, Eddie, Felicity, Patty, Frost, Kara, Kate and E-2 Killer Frost. i may be forgetting some people

traumagenic mutahuman plurality, formally diagnosed with DID. does not see Frost as a sibling figure. Frost is her intra-system GIRLFRIEND thank you very much. khione is like a baby sister figure to her tho.

listen fuck canon with its body splitting shit, shut UPP, that never happened<3

still sees Dr. Finkel regularly

has depression and post-traumatic stress and occasional panic attacks

this is canon but said canon kinda sweeps it under the rug: post-Thomas pulling his bullshit, Caitlin was heavily neglected by Carla.

in a support groupchat with other Arrowverse systems like Frankie, Mona and Sam. this includes empty systems like Alice

freckles!!!!

thanks to Frost she is immune to the cold even when Frost isn't fronting AND before she was even aware of Frost's existence

she doesn't have a codename, which is fucking rude, but personally I headcanon that her codename is Crystal

her middle name is Louise

AUTISM!

on her own, she basically only watches horror movies, but only likes them if they're accurate anatomy-wise. she can and will write multiparagraph reviews on everything the death scenes got right vs everything the death scenes got wrong

former history of self-harm, med school was... very hard mentally

growing up, Carla always pressured and planned for Caitlin to pursue a career at Tannhauser Industries. eventually Caitlin stood up to her and they had a huge fight where a lot of childhood things were brought up, Caitlin said some stuff about Thomas, Carla hit her and Caitlin left. Rachel Rosso took Caitlin in and let her live with her and Ramsey for about four years after this. Ramsey was her brother figure and best friend before their fight over Rachel recommending Caitlin to STAR Labs instead of him. that's when Caitlin moved out into her current condo.

SHE was the one that asked Ronnie out, after pining away in awkward secrecy for so many moons. Ronnie moved in with her not long after and they lived in separate rooms bc they felt like it

(trigger warning for SA with this one) during the time she spent in captivity being held by Zoom, he repeatedly raped her and she didn't reveal it happened for a long time. thus she is also in a support groupchat for other Arrowverse survivors of SA

when she was arrested, Iris wrote a shitton of stories calling for her release

doesn't want kids

had a special interest in botany during her high school years. cough cough

likes Law And Order. cough cough

binging the Friday the 13th franchise is her guilty pleasure. cough cough

takes her coffee black with a blueberry flavor shot!!

she gets lipstick on her teef from her lip biting habit

TOTALLY had a crush on Bette Sans Souci and went on a date or two with Eliza Harmon

she canonically likes OITNB, and has a giant crush on Stella Carlin. she constantly tells Kate how much they look like her

still carries a blood collection kit in her purse, always

hates when her name gets misspelled. she will fight u

whereas her friends call her "Cait" and Frost calls her "Caity," Kate calls her "Lin"

grumpy that she doesn't have a Jitters drink named after her like EvErYoNe eLsE!!!! >:c

has a whole morning and nightly routine that must be followed that may or may not include complete pajama sets, sleepytime tea and fluffy slippers

kinda misses having a pet gorilla ngl

she never fucking DIED i'm PHYSICALLY FIGHTING CANON just like frost never DIED either okay. LISTEN KHIONE CAME TO EXISTENCE THROUGH DIFFERENT FUCKERY OKAY.

many more but again, this is so fucking long. if u want more headcanons abt the other members of the Snow System, just ask❤️

[drdtnsfw]

Okay but being serious for a minute, as a hypersexuality haver (not diagnosed but I'm like 99% sure) this blog is actually pretty healthy for me to talk about my more not-triggering sexual thoughts with very little judgement, so thank you very much for that That being said however, I do want you to know that if anyone says something that makes you guys uncomfortable you're allowed to speak about it, I know this is an NSFW blog but I just wanted to remind y'all that your boundaries matter regardless

The sentiment is appreciated but instead we just discuss about a specific ask together before coming to terms with deleting it.

Mod Whit has a pinned post on this blog giving general guidelines regarding it but I can be a touch more specific.

We don't want anything triggering to be submitted; this would include things like SA, drugging, DDLG, etc. Probably some of the more niche uncomfortable kinks or fetishes too would be a no go.

Other Dom/Sub stuff is fine; DDLG just can be very uncomfortable.

This is for everyone's collective comfort and because I myself am actually a survivor so I would prefer it to, not be here.

Personally I won't answer any asks regarding asphyxiation so I'd leave asks regarding that to other mods.

In general I have some hypersexuality myself but I'm also on the asexual spectrum. Got some intimacy trauma so speaking on this blog like this helps me safely go into this topic as well.

That aside if any of the other mods have boundaries regarding asks or anything to add onto what I said, I encourage them to tag onto my statement!

[angelicasks1007]

Answering a few asks here from my main rather than on a main

Q: Do you like spawn or Ascended Astarion better? A: I'm Neutral on what path other people take and from a romantic stand point I enjoy both equally but from a DA / SA victim / survivor standpoint I prefer Ascended personally because giving him power is cathartic for me. Q: Whats your sexuality? A: Asexual, Repulsed Asexual to be specific also known as Apothisexual Q: Do you play anything else except BG3? A: I used to but currently BG3 is my hyperfixation. I used to be hyperfixated on sims 4 before that and MP horror games. Q: Have you romanced anyone else? A: Sort of? I have some characters in the underdark with Gale or Wyll but its dual character runs where I launched the game twice to make a 2nd character so at the same time im still romancing Astarion. Currently im preoccupied with my Shadowheart turned Tav run.

[molonginkdragon]

♡ 𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 ♡

🌸 你好! Hello! My name is Asako, or TheInkDragon/MoLong. I'm an artist who enjoys fairytales, fantasies, and dark/mature themes. I'm a traumatized soul, healing my inner child, and searching for my "happily ever after". I am fluent in English and learning Mandarin.🌸

╭──────────.★..─╮

・❥・They/He

・❥・21

・❥・Disabled (C-PTSD, GAD, Autism, Seizures)

・❥・LGBTQ+, Asexual, Polyam, Demiromantic

・❥・Commission Status: Closed

・❥・I am a survivor of SA and childhood abuse. A lot of my characters represent myself and my own struggles in some way or another.

・❥・I adore fairytale & Wuxia legends and stories/aesthetics. This is what my characters primarily take place in.

・❥・Content Warnings: 18+, Nudity, Sexual Themes, Dubious Consent, CNC, BDSM, Portrayal of healthy and unhealthy relationships, Use of Drugs/Alcohol, Addictions, "Dead Dove", "Femboys/Roseboys", Pregnancy/Breeding Kinks, Belly Bulge, "Hentai Logic", Porn with Plot, and "Gilded Cage" inspired content.

・❥・Please don't involve me in any sort of drama. I do my best to remain neutral and keep out of drama. I have trauma about being stalked and harassed, and I cannot mentally handle the stress of toxic gossip environments. If I do something that upsets you, please message me privately so we may handle it. I stay in my own little bubble, away from others, focusing on my ocs. I don't spend a lot of time on social media, and I don't keep up with any drama. I just follow artists that I enjoy. If you have solid proof of someone being problematic, feel free to reach out.

・❥・DNI: MINORS (Will be blocked on sight). Proshippers/Loli/Shotacon, Zoophiles, Racists, Anti-LGBTQ+ individuals, including transphobes and homophobes, etc

╰─..★.──────────╯

♡ 𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝓮 ♡

・❥・ToS & Blacklist

・❥・Toyhouse

・❥・Bluesky

・❥・Discord Server

・❥・Furaffinity

⚠️DO NOT REPOST, TRACE, HEAVILY REFERENCE MY ART OR OCS!! DO NOT USE THEM IN YOUR OWN RP, ETC. Reblogging is appreciated! ⚠️

[countesspetofi]

Too late to make a long story short

So, yeah. I planned on posting this last June, but I never got around to it because I was going through some health problems that had me pretty drained both physically and emotionally. And I'm actually getting around to it pretty late in life, for reasons which I'll briefly discuss further down.

This is my official coming out. I've tried to talk about it with my mother, but I don't think she really completely gets it, and I didn't want to push her. It's not that I don't think she'd be supportive - she absolutely would - but I just haven't got the mental energy.

I'm the IA that so often gets left off the end of LGBTQIA+. That is, Intersex and Asexual. And although I haven't deliberately tried to hide it (and for all I know, people may have guessed and just never mentioned it), there are a few reasons why I've never made this sort of open declaration before.

Firstly, I can't deny that I have a great deal of passing privilege that has made my life easier. I was AFAB and still identify as female. I wasn't born with ambiguous genitalia or subjected to lies and/or "corrective" surgery as a minor. There are plenty of other circumstances in my life, like poverty and disability, which people were free to assume were the reason I've never been in a long-term romantic relationship. I'm neither aro nor sex-repulsed, so I've never made an effort to stay out of conversations about celebrity crushes or the aesthetics of the human form. (Although, like a lot of ace folk of my generation, I grew up totally believing most people were really like me and just put on a show of being sex-obsessed because the media told hem they should be.) Now that so many married friends my age are divorced, my single state isn't even as as uncommon as it used to be. In addition, I'm a bit of a coward. I've seen other ace women have to deal with "jokes" and thinly veiled threats about "corrective r*pe," and as a survivor of childhood SA I was a bit panicky about having those directed at me, even if only online.

Secondly, I didn't discover my intersex condition or the terminology to describe my asexuality until adulthood. It was helpful TO ME to be able to understand myself though those lenses, but I wasn't so sure it made much of a difference to anybody else. I've been called attention-seeking for discussing my disabilities, medical issues, childhood experiences with abuse, etc., and it felt like I'd be inviting more of the same.

Thirdly, I know that some very outspoken people exist, both inside and outside the queer community, who don't think intersex or asexual people are "queer enough" to be included. I've heard everything from "It's only the LGBT that really count" to "How can you expect us to remember two more letters?" to "those things are about what you're NOT and not what you ARE." And I really don't take rejection well.

So, why have I decided to go ahead and "officially" come out? The past few years have seen some real threats against the progress we've made just in my lifetime. If there's one thing living in this century has taught me, it's that you can never sit back and take progress for granted. I'm having trouble finding the exact quote and its source, but somebody said something to me recently about democracy being to fragile to be left unattended, and it really stuck with me. I may only be one person, but I think I can probably be more useful if I stand up to be counted. I don't know, maybe I can't do anything more than I could when presenting as a straight ally, but if even one person takes what I say more seriously because they know where I'm coming from, and that I'm talking about my own experiences, I think it's worth it.

Anyway, here are my lame attempts to combine the intersex and ace flags. I've never been ashamed of what I am, but it does feel nice to openly show a bit of pride.