#i'm having thoughts and feelings tonight

[yllowpages]

elena deals with nightmares. of many different things. sometimes it's the normal, out-of-pocket things everyone could have nightmares about. sometimes it's more specific. moments she's lived. but more than anything, and especially in the first couple of years following, her nightmares have replayed those split seconds before flynn dropped that grenade. she knows how lucky she is to be alive. and the thought that she was so close to dying is just... it's terrifying. and of course it's one of the main reasons she became so cautious moving forward. so, some nights, her mind just can't help but go through that moment. watching him take out the grenade and look them all in the face when he let go. she can remember the sound and the pain — all of it. sometimes the nightmare is exactly as the moment happened. sometimes she tries to run, to see if she would have escaped it. once or twice ... she's been the one holding the grenade and forced to drop it. every option is horrible. those nights she can't get it out of her head, she just doesn't sleep frankly. she can't. her mind will be racing too much and she'll close her eyes and that's all she'll see. so she has to do anything else to get it out of her mind. she'll literally wake up at two in the morning from this and just get up and start cleaning or reorganizing things or even working. anything but sitting alone with her thoughts. and she wishes sometimes she could forget it altogether. but the scarring she took away from it — both mental and physical — makes that difficult sometimes.

[racetheskies]

the karasuno third-years mean so much to me bc they waited so long to be with a team that would get them to nationals and they finally got to go in their final year before graduating and they got to go with this team of crazy passionate and ambitious people with such great team chemistry and it's so incredible to see that they get to go out on the court at nationals because the whole reason they went to karasuno is because they saw them play at nationals

[grxceful-ly]

peter bringing mayday with him to do spider stuff because yeah, he had things to live for before--but now he has a child and he is going to raise this child and be there for her and maybe if she’s there, strapped to his chest, he’ll be more careful. he’ll consider his life almost as precious as hers. maybe bringing mayday to work is a precaution. 

[fiona-fififi]

Okay, but I propose that the Buckley parents are not shocked Buck is dating a man.

They are, however, shocked that it's not the man who refused to leave the hospital while Buck was in a coma. The one with the sad eyes who pretended to be fine for everyone else, but whose voice broke just a little every time they overheard him arguing with his son over kids not being allowed in the ICU. The one who, three years earlier, had sat with them in the firehouse loft and talked of Buck like he was something precious. Who, while everyone else told tales of his heroics, told stories of weekends at home and trips to the zoo, and something that sounded a lot like family. The man whose eyes were soft for Buck, but flashed fierce, protective anger for them when they bothered to look.

(Anyway, I have two very strong headcanons at play in this post. The first: that Eddie never left the hospital while Buck was in his coma. The second: that Eddie lead the charge talking up Buck while the Buckley's waited for his return in 4x05 because if Buck's own parents weren't going to love him the way he deserved, Eddie sure as hell was going to make them regret it.)

[skinnypaleangryperson]

I find it sad, pathetic, funny and cute in that cartoon network is airing the old man and his seat two times tonight in a row. All I do is sit around the house and get drunk and cry-I would never waste my precious free time watching Cartoon Network, but I happened upon the schedule for the night and I think it's funny, silly, in a really pathetic way that it feels like Rick has the same drunk sad drunk soulfully loveless aimless energy as much as I do, just sitting on a TV screen instead of real life

[glacier-shrimp]

god i love having friends. i love friendship. it's the best

[kindahoping4forever]

Ashton performing with Eternity Speedway @ Desert 5 Spot LA - 11 April 2024

[huellitaa]

feeling so grateful for everything tonight thank you so much universe thank you so much world thank you so much friends thank you so much everyone i love you

[sleepinglionhearts]

Once again I am thinking about becoming an art teacher vs. thinking about how fast I'd get fired if I became an art teacher

[mdverse]

Hello bestie I would like it if you could please rank all of the Brittana kisses? Thank you in advance

hi bestie i am at ur service 🫡

churro kiss my most beloved <333

prewedding kiss my second most beloved <33

heart kiss

tongue tied dip kiss

the one from the "i will love you until infinity" scene

the "i'd choose you over everyone" peck

the uhhh "did i ever tell you i love you" "tell me again" kiss but like. specifically for the hug afterwards bc it's so cute

breakup kiss

wedding kiss

the one from after britt graduates

heart peck

diva peck

breakup ep peck (the one from when santana is doing her laundry)

[genderfluidgothwitch]

For those who are unsure of whether or not they really have the "sensitivity to cold" symptom of fibromyalgia, because you think that it's just you not being able to handle colder temperatures like other people, that's one way of putting it. The other way is, when it's winter and the temperatures start dropping, do you feel your pain more intensely? Do you feel like you have more problems with your joints? Is your partner always commenting how cold your fingers and toes are, but it somehow gets more frequent in winter? Those are other ways to consider being sensitive to the cold.

[purpurussy]

.

[fiona-fififi]

Sometimes, I wonder if Buck knows. If anyone ever told him that Eddie tried to pull the dead weight of Buck's body back up to him. That he lost so much control that he shoved their Captain out of the way and yelled at medical staff. That he restarted Buck's heart. That he was so distraught at having to stand in that hospital room that he couldn't even look at Buck's hospital bed. That he tucked himself into a corner in the shadows and couldn't even bring himself to answer Christopher's questions as he cried.

Do you think Buck knows that Eddie would move heaven and earth to keep Buck's heart beating for just a moment more??

Because I don't think he knows.

Just like Eddie doesn't know that Buck would do the same.

And I don't think that knowing that would make this less scary for Buck. Because the idea of losing someone you love that deeply is terrifying, even if you're almost sure.

But there is truly nothing that could break the bond they share, and it's just really beautiful that Buck was brave enough to tell him, so maybe Buck can get a little closer to truly believing it.

[blitzbuckz]

never have I ever in my life desired to angry fuck anyone more than this fancy privileged feathered ass cunt

[byanyan]

finally going through my likes to collect all the asks i've wanted to reply to since fucking april to add them into my drafts

i'm. i'm trying to at least start getting my shit together here. i've felt the strong urge to give writing a shot since yesterday, so. i'm gonna see about potentially doing some tonight? maybe?? still teetering on the edge of falling into Bad Thoughts when i let my mind wander too far, so idk how long the attempt will last or if it'll be successful, but.

[pardonmydelays]

another 10h at work today it's my fourth day and