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#i'm kind of exhausted now
dan-sing-in-the-rain · 7 months
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royal-wren · 5 months
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I genuinely still wish people would understand that while myths aren't absolute truths and shouldn't be read as literal, there is a balance. That it doesn't suddenly erase their relevance and importance as the allegory of domains and cultic practice/history.
Examples are Athene being born from the head of Zeus, where thoughts, intelligence, and wisdom are formed and pop into existence, her domains. Hermes intended for his mother and himself to finally join the Olympians instead of dwelling solely in caves, defining the transition of worship they went through as nature & liminal deities and the new system springing up from the land they were already worshipped in, not to mention the mythologized start of friendship between Hermes and Apollon in Arcadia.
Aphrodite traveled across the sea fully formed as she was already a goddess from Cyprus first before being adopted by the Greeks as one of their own. Apollon taking over Delphi as the new oracular deity is a symbolic story about his integration into the pantheon. The same thing explains how Apollon is treated in the epic The Iliad with more respect than say, Artemis or Ares who deal with the humiliation of being beaten up by Hera and Athene respectively by the storyteller because they were worshipped for longer by far.
The many myths of Maia and Hermes taking care of and protecting infants with their domains as nurses and gods that foster children. The anger of Hera in many myths symbolizes her domain over women and marriage and the respect they deserve because of how important and relevant it is in worship and cult practices.
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kanonavi · 2 months
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Spoilers for Simulanka Day 3
There's a conversation that I've had with friends from time to time about the fact that the world of Teyvat is, at its core, incredibly kind. Shockingly so, even for most fictional stories that aren't directed towards children. Even though the traveler has faced many antagonists on their journey, the people around them have always banded together to overcome those challenges. Even when people are hurt it's very rare for anyone to die, and many of the antagonists in question aren't pure evil and have their own reasons for taking the actions they take. They may not always operate on the same morality as the traveler or the player, and they might not be "good people", but they still believe that what they have to do is right, or at the very least necessary.
To put it more simply, Genshin is filled with characters that are made to be liked. Not every player will like every character, but very few of them are actively trying to work against you, and even when they do there's still something there to like. Except for like, Il Dottore, but he's likable for how unlikable he is (I have to say that or my Dottore enjoying friend will be sad lmao).
I got to thinking about this when playing the last part of Simulanka because it was a reminder of how, despite the kindness that they've been shown by Teyvat for the past three and a half years, the traveler's morality is still shockingly black and white in many situations.
We see this the most in how they interact with the Fatui. The Fatui, particularly the Harbingers, have cause a lot of damage in the past, but a lot of the grunts are just ordinary people following orders. the commission line in Mondstadt with Viktor, Golden Apple Archipelago 2 and The Chasm come to mind for times when we've interacted with Fatui grunts in a way that really humanizes them and shows that a lot of them really are just people doing a job. Some of them have just been surveyors or low-level guards, but the traveler and Paimon treat them like they're cartoon villains until proven otherwise (and sometimes even after proven otherwise).
The way that they acted towards Simulanka Durin before the party gave him their blessings also seemed to reflect this, especially in comparison to the other party members. Wanderer was obviously the most sympathetic to Durin, since his memories were like looking into a mirror for him, but Nilou, Navia, and Kirara all stepped forward to give Durin their support while the traveler was still showing doubts. They were thinking about how the residents of Simulanka might not forgive Durin, or how his form was too big and scary to coexist with everyone, which was an incredibly unsympathetic outlook even though they were ultimately able to change Durin's form.
It honestly reminds me a lot of how the traveler treated Scaramouche/Wanderer in Inversion of Genesis, like he was a person to be kept the company of only out of necessity as a means to keep him under control, even after Nahida said that she trusted him. Even though something did go wrong at the time, it still showed that the traveler's suspicion and distrust of Scaramouche was strong enough to outweigh their trust of Nahida, despite Nahida having proved herself many times to be wise and worthy of trust in the past. That mistrust and even disdain for him even carried over into when he reappeared with no memories, as the traveler was forcefully adamant that he needed to reclaim his memories and atone, to the point that it seemed like they were being a little bit mean about it.
It's arguable that Scaramouche deserved that treatment, since he was kind of a little shithead who caused a lot of harm in the past, but the traveler was also witness to how deeply he was hurt and manipulated in the past, and therefore would have some kind of understanding of why he turned out the way that he did.
Despite the traveler's usual helpfulness in Simulanka, Nilou, Navia, and Kirara all feel like contrasts to them. Nilou's whimsical outlook and positive mindset allowed her to grasp the magic of creation and even gave her the initiative to try and change Durin's form with magic in the first place. Navia is used to taking care of "the little guy", as it were, through the Spina, and was therefore willing to listen and empathize with the toy people who didn't want to undo the power of prophecy. (With those guys also being called "conservatives" or a "conservative radical" in English, that doesn't really have a good connotation depending on your political leaning, but Navia listened to them anyway). And with Kirara, while I haven't played her little sidequest yet, the description of her outfit described how the little cat burglar stole and returned the emotions of the cats that they hadn't been given when they were created, casting her in the role of someone who can understand the balance that anger, sadness, and pain bring to happiness.
The three of them, as well as the Wanderer, all carry Teyvat's fundamental kindness with them, and it was then coaxed out of the traveler only when all of them had already stepped forward.
It made me wonder if this is some kind of lesson that the traveler has to learn before reuniting with their sibling, that they need to be more willing to put their trust in people, or at least be more understanding of others. While the abyss twin hasn't divulged too much of what they've learned yet, they've made it clear that there are lessons that the traveler needs to learn about the world before they reunite. While that likely has a lot to do with various truths about Celestia and the sky being fake and all that, perhaps they're hoping for their sibling to learn that at least in Teyvat, sometimes people who cause harm to others are simply trying (or have tried and failed and lost hope) to find a path towards co-existing with others.
Since the abyss twin is supposedly born of Teyvat as well, perhaps they've already understood that part of this world from the very beginning and are waiting for their sibling to catch up.
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gxtzeizm · 19 days
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the fact that me, as a fan of both lando and oscar without any bias (maybe a bit on lando but not that much), is going to witness both "oscar fans, lando antis" and "lando fans, oscar antis" posts all in my one dash 🥲🥲
also the fact that atp i couldn't even bother enough with this same situation on both lewis and george. now it happens on lando and oscar as well which got me like....
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#landoscar#lando norris#oscar piastri#f1#maybe i need to admit atp rn that#this sport is just not built for a person like me istg 🙂🙂#like....i miss the moments 2 years ago where what i only care the most is only football and football only#and couldn't even give a fuck more about guys being in circles vroom vroom#i mean thank god that there's a bayern match just now right after the race ended#which really liften my mood up and distract myself a bit from intimidating discourse and whatsoever#hmmmm ngl maybe the fact that being a football football fan in general especially in this website really brings a comfort in me#meanwhile for f1...idk why but everything about it (especially during race and after race) really overwhelms me a lot seriously speaking#maybe the fact that football is more team oriented sport#meanwhile f1 is more individual oriented despite there are teams consists of 2 individuals#and the fact that me supporting multiple individuals in a one same team despite that f1 is individual oriented sport#kinda gets me digging my own grave atp tbh#i mean when i said individual oriented sport...it kinda means that in a perspective of most of the f1 fans#and now seeing all every kinds of discourse on my dash really makes me overwhelming a lot i'm ngl#that the fact that i couldn't able to curate my own preference for this f1blr space on my dash 🥲🥲🥲#goddddd srsly tho i just want to turn back time where i only cares about bayern frankfurt and germany nt only ffs 🫠🫠🫠🫠#but yeah who am i to turn around the past 🙃🙃...and plus that once i'm getting into one hyperfixation there's no turning back at all for me#so yeah#goddddd i'm so sorry but i'm just being so fucking messy rn#like all the things that i see on my dash really exhausts my brain and my thought process forreal i really need to throw up forreal srsly :(
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doubleedgemode · 1 month
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Happy summer, everybody!
This has been a big project to take and while there's stuff to improve I'm pretty happy with it. Be sure to zoom in the big picture for details and read the comic from left to right. (Needless to say, please don't try A.B.A's behaviour.. For your safety)
Bonus doodle:
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#a.b.a#paracelsus#slayer#guilty gear#I almost forgot slayer's shirt pattern! I was also supposed to draw his cape floating over sharon to shield her from the sun but...#this whole drawing collection took roughly a month to complete and I forgot. I'm too tired right now#speaking of. it's my first time drawing sharon I hope she's okay!#yes slayer carries and wears in the nose his 200 spf sunscreen from xrds treasure hunt animation :)#as for the big main picture. it left me quite exhausted and I know the lighting leaves a lot to be desired but I'm proud! learnt a lot#first time drawing blue para too. I hope his metallic sheen is alright#more than aba's skin sheen for sure. I'll improve it in the future! btw tweaked a bit her attire's palette from last time and made her keep#the headband cause trying to figure out how her hair would properly fall was a hassle lmao#fun fact: the bird is an european herring gull#the crab is an edible crab and the palm trees are coconut palm trees with no fruit lol#I wanted to draw fan palms which are a kind of palm tree that deserves more love but the leaf shape was so difficult to draw#I did struggle a lot with these two.. they look more like feathers but again. that can be studied and improved in the future#despite all the lows summertime can have for me whenever it's a nice day and we can go to the beach I feel everything is worth it and will#be okay. hope I could translate that here. hi new people I tend to ramble a lot in my post tags#art tag2b named#sharon
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whumpanini · 3 months
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Emotional exhaustion
To the point of almost pure apathy
To the point where bluntness is the only option if they want to speak at all
No time or energy for social niceties, just getting to the fucking point and moving on as quick as possible
Shutting down and going nonverbal or answering with one word, not because they *don't* care but because they *can't*
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cerise-on-top · 5 months
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Could you make a cute alphabet for Valeria?
Hey! Sure!
Fluff Alphabet for Valeria
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
While Valeria does love going shopping with you above most things, she’d actually love nothing more than to go stargazing with you. Although she has no idea why, she actually really likes looking at the stars and knows a few stories behind some of the constellations as well. Not very many, but she can tell you a few. She isn’t even that into space, but something about looking at the endless universe and realizing its beauty just gets to her. Loves doing that with you whenever she can.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
She loves the fact that you speak your mind whenever you feel like it. Valeria doesn’t particularly like guessing games and the uncertainties that come with them, she’d much rather have all the information she can get from the get go. So you telling her what you think without sugarcoating everything is a nice change of pace since everyone else usually hides things from her to get on her good side. You’re honest, sometimes even blunt, and she can truly appreciate that.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
If someone hurt you, then she’d go after them and teach them a lesson. A not very kind and gentle one, mind you. Anyone who makes you feel bad deserves to freeze in the ninth circle of hell, being chewed on by the devil himself. However, if you’re feeling sad for no apparent reason, then she’ll try to distract you by taking you on a shopping spree or getting you your favorite food. She’s not at all good at comforting people, but she tries. If you have a panic attack she’d try the same thing, except she’d speak a bit more softly with you than before.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Somewhere in a nice mansion, with a few trustworthy maids, where everything manages itself, she’d share her empire with you. On the one hand she doesn’t want you involved in the slightest in all of it, but on the other hand she sort of wants you to become as successful as she is in her business. She’d love to rule over the cartel with you, she’d love for you to be as cunning as she is. However, she knows that likely won’t ever happen, largely because she’s just that careful, but she can dream about it.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Valeria is dominance personified. Sure, you can make some suggestions and she’s more inclined to listen to you than someone else, but she wears the pants and it’s blatantly obvious in your relationship. Whatever she says goes, even if you can get into fights because of that. If she tells you to hide, you will. If she tells you to not tell a single soul about your relationship, you won’t. Although she may not always know everything, she usually knows what’s best and what she’s doing. She wants the both of you to be safe.
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
I don’t think she’d forgive easily, not even you. She can be a very petty woman, even with you. While I don’t think she’ll let it out on you as much, she would definitely yell at you when she’s angry enough. Sure, she’ll try to be more on the rational side with you, but her anger gets the better of her and she’ll raise her voice at you. If you start crying then she’ll calm down a bit and forgive you more easily, in fact she might try to yell a bit less as well. However, it takes a proper apology from you for her to forgive you.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
It may not seem like she’s all that grateful to have you around, but she is thankful for you. She doesn’t have a lot of time for you, she sometimes gets hurt for one reason or another and doesn’t always tell you, when she’s home she doesn’t always take care of the chores. However, she’s truly grateful for you to care for her as much as you do, she doesn’t take it for granted. She does try to spend time with you whenever she can, she tries not to worry you with her injuries when she has some, she does try to do the chores but she’s usually too tired to do them once she’s home. However, she’ll try to show her gratitude by buying you expensive things. Again, she’s not good at being affectionate.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
Yes, there are plenty of things she doesn’t tell you about. She doesn’t particularly like talking about her past all that much, even if it wasn’t all that traumatic either. Unless you somehow know about her having been part of the Mexican army, she won’t mention that either, having had too many regrets there to properly enjoy talking about it. If you ask her about her past then she’ll give you a cocky grin and tell you to figure it out on your own if you want to know about it so badly. Valeria may love you, but you really don’t need to know everything about her, some things are better swept under the rug.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
I think Valeria may have become a somewhat more kind and patient person once she’s been with you for a while. She’s a businesswoman, so she knows how to deal with ne’er-do-wells. However, if you ask her to spare someone’s life, if you tell her to not be as mad at her people for messing up, then she might listen to you. You’d be the only reason some people are still alive at that point. Sometimes she’d remember what you said and might become a bit nicer. It doesn’t happen very often, she has a business to run, but it happens.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Valeria is a very jealous person. Someone talking to you for too long, you talking about someone in a more adoring tone than you should, someone being too friendly with you, it all pisses her off. Especially if that person makes you uncomfortable. She’ll get pissy and cranky, she’ll tell that dumb bastard to fuck off and leave you alone. She won’t claim you as hers in public, she won’t sling her arm around you or anything, but she will glare at anyone too close to you. Also not afraid of telling you how ticked off she actually is. Give her a lot of attention and she’ll calm down again.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
Yes, Valeria is a very good kisser. Back when she was still single, women would actually flock to her just to feel her tender touch and kisses, that would leave anyone breathless. She knows what she’s doing and she does it so incredibly well, she’ll always leave you yearning for more of her. I think your first kiss was her pinning you against the wall and just going for it, after she made sure you liked her as well. She loves feeling like the bigger person and flustering you whenever she can.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
It would be such an expensive, elaborate thing. You’ll be going to the most expensive restaurant, you’ll be going to see a musical or an opera and then she’ll buy you a nice gift. Basically anything to please you and court you in her own way. She has too much money anyway, so why not spend it on you when she can? Afterwards, ever so confident, she’ll tell you that she likes you in a romantic manner. While she may be a bit nervous about your reaction, she tries not to seem too anxious about it all. She can usually play it off well enough.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
On the one hand, she sort of does want to get married, on the other hand, she really doesn’t. Does she really want that sort of commitment to someone for the rest of her life? The thought scares her. Besides, she wants to keep you safe as well, so she can’t really afford to marry you as she is. Just being partners is enough for her, in all honesty. She leans towards not wanting to marry you, but her situation could change at any point in time and she might want to someday.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
Cariño/a or querido/a, she really doesn’t like going for anything more fancy or romantic. She’s not a verbally affectionate person in the first place. And even then, she usually just calls you that when she’s drunk. She’s more affectionate when drunk anyway, but her Spaniglish is hard to understand for someone who doesn’t speak both languages.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
She tries courting you immediately as soon as she’s figured out she’s in love with you. Lots of gifts, tries to spend more time with you. Hell, she might just send you some money just because she can as well, especially if you need some. It’s not too obvious she’s in love, it only seems like she’s playing favorites, which she definitely is. She expresses her feelings by taking you on lots of coffee dates and just talking to you. If you’re very close then she’ll invite you to her home as well.
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
She keeps your relationship a secret from the world. She’s a very dangerous woman, she could have anyone killed within days. However, she could, in turn, also be killed at any point in time. The same goes for you if anyone were to ever find out about the both of you. She really doesn’t brag about you, she doesn’t like PDA either and will actively advise you against being affectionate with her in public. All of that stuff stays behind closed doors.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
If you’re ever afraid to talk to someone, she’s got you. You want to change your order? You wanna make a new friend? You wanna compliment that stranger on their cool shirt? Valeria can easily do all of that and more for you. She talks to many people on the daily anyway, among them lots of strangers. She’s not afraid of talking to people, quite the opposite, she’s very good at talking to them. She may be blunt like barely anyone else, but she’s got a certain charm and charisma as well to her. If you’re on her good side, then chances are you’re settled for life.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
She’s not very romantic. Sure, she’ll cuddle with you on the couch when she has the time and watch a movie with you, but she won’t call you any embarrassing nicknames and dance in the rain with you. She’s far too practical for that. In fact, she doesn’t really like most romantic gestures in the first place. She’s not averse to them, but if she doesn’t have to hug you from behind then she won’t complain about it either. She loves you, don’t get me wrong, but she’s not a romantic at heart.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Valeria supports you, I can tell you that much. She has enough money to buy the world if she wanted to, so she can buy you just about anything you may want or need. You wanna learn how to drive? Here’s a Porsche. You wanna become a world renowned chef? Tell her what ingredients you need and they’ll be delivered to your door the next day. She may not have the most encouraging words for you, but she tries to help you in a way that doesn’t feel awkward to her either. She tries really hard for you, even if she may not always succeed at it.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
She doesn’t particularly need anything new all the time. Sure, sometimes she’d like to go to a new country with you, if she has the time, but she doesn’t get that urge very often. She really does prefer doing the same things with you over and over again when she can. However, that’s a rarity in and of itself since she’s not at home very often, so she doesn’t get to see you a lot either. That’s probably the reason why she prefers having a routine in the first place, she doesn’t always have one at work.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
She probably knows you very well. She’s a very observant woman, so she can tell when you’re upset, when you’re happy or when you need something from her, for example. However, she’s not an empathetic person at all. She really can’t feel what you’re feeling, but it doesn’t bother her either. Empathy would just get in her way at work, so she really prefers it that way. That way she can judge situations more objectively as well. She’s not a very emotional person, except when she’s angry.
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
The relationship is pretty important to her, but I don’t think she’d want to give up her cartel for you. As mentioned before, she’s not a very romantic person. She values her status as El Sin Nombre a lot and wants to be respected by everyone. She worked hard to get where she wants to be and she really doesn’t wanna give all of that up. Sure, she values you more than many other people, but she won’t give up her job for you.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
Every year she looks forward to going to a Christmas market with you. If it wasn’t for you, she wouldn’t celebrate that holiday in the first place, but she does like going to a Christmas market, taking in all the colors, drinking some hot beverages and maybe going on a ferris wheel with you as well. Even if you really don’t wanna go, she’ll drag you there at least once a year. Naturally, she’ll be the one to pay for everything, but she will feel a lot of sentiment if you pay for her this time around.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
She’s not a very affectionate person. She may praise you for a task well done, but she won’t be overly romantic with you. She sometimes likes kissing and cuddling, usually she doesn’t mind it, and sometimes she absolutely abhors any and all physical affection. Naturally, she’ll tell you how she feels that day. She much prefers to show her affections through spending time with you at a cafe and talking to you and giving you gifts over cuddling in bed all day. It’s truly rare for Valeria to initiate any sort of physical affection. Except when she’s drunk, she’s more inclined to cuddle then.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
She usually just calls you when she can, no need to beat around the bush too much. She doesn’t keep a picture of you on her out of fear of something happening to you, so her options are limited. Sometimes she thinks about the things she’d like to do with you once she finally gets back to you again. However, she’s usually too busy to miss you too much anyway. Tries to get back to you as soon as possible, though.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Valeria would kill and torture for you. She breaks the law on the regular anyway, but for you she’d break every law at once. If you’ve been together for a very long time, then she’ll take a literal bullet for you as well. It’s not often someone gets that sort of privilege, so you should feel really honored. She’d have some of her men killed just to make sure you get to smile again. You’re more important than them anyway. So yeah, Valeria would go to great lengths just to make you happy.
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ravinoforre · 6 months
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Michael and Leaf Pokemon but they've suddenly been isekai'd to Sylvarant oops
The template @frayed-symphony, @ciryze and I collectively put together.
...also uh 👉👈
there's this
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iraprince · 7 months
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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uncanny-tranny · 11 months
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See, I do dream of labour, but what I dream about is labour that isn't soul-sucking, redundant, or bullshit jobs made to make the world a worse place.
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moonstruckhaze · 1 month
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boyfriend shirt...
update: if you like this art, please go check out this fic that @chessala wrote for it ╥⁠﹏⁠╥
update cont: this is the first time someone's ever written something for art that I've made, and I'm still so happy and touched beyond words that she wrote this. she was even kind enough to share the initial draft with me and asked for feedback and even worked in little suggestions i had for expanding on different parts of the writing, which was so fun and collaborative and I haven't gotten to do something like that in ages. I'm so overwhelmed (in a good way) and it feels like getting to beam the full mental vision of the scenario i had in my brain while working on this piece into the mind of anyone who reads it; ;
i know these close up crops are a bit silly but well. i did my best lol... the full version is up on my alt twitter linked in my pinned post ♡
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please also observe the little 🐰 logo.... it is silly & crucial....
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kickassfu · 3 months
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my dog might die tonight
my mom's depressed and emotionally exhausted, to the point she slurs her words and feels like a zombie most days
has said to my face she doesn't want to fix it
that soon her mom will die and me and my sister are grown so...
we don't need her
and my dog's old and sick
in pain
at the vet getting oxygen and medication
to see if he'll make it through the night
and thank god he's there, so he doesn't have to suffer
but he's not next to us
he might die alone away from us
i think there's some poetic bullshit there
he would die in pain by our side
but he has a chance to survive away from us
and if he doesn't make it till the next day he'll die alone, but without pain
i just want to take everyone's pain away
but I can't
i can't fix it
it's not up to me
i can't do shit
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tearlessrain · 6 months
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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amethystina · 7 months
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hello there! Niki here. just wanted to congratulate you on hitting 400k words on WHtD! 🎉🎊🎂👯‍♀️💕 I wanted to make sure to celebrate this great achievement of yours even if I need to wait a couple of days before reading the new update 😥 I’ll make sure to enjoy it and then leave my big-ass live-reaction later on, but for now have a big 💜 from yours truly :) well done! great job! :D have a marvelous weekend!
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Thank you! 💜
Though, to be honest with you? I didn't realise I would be passing 400k until I had already posted the chapter and looked at the total and I honestly felt my soul leave my body there for a second. Because DEAR LORD what am I even doing?
Especially since I know we're nowhere near done. Like, I have my notes, sure, but certain passages in my planned timeline are just one sentence and I know that one sentence might actually be half a chapter all on its own. So I really can't judge how much is left. I am HOPING we're at least halfway through but who the fuck knows at this point? Certainly not me x'D
ANYWAY. Thank you so much for wanting to celebrate with me! And, as always, take your time and feel no obligation whatsoever! I'm really happy that people are reading this fic and enjoying it as much as they are, but none of you owe me anything :)
Take care and I hope you have a marvelous weekend too! 💜
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running-in-the-dark · 19 days
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can't sleep (despite new meds + melatonin, boo), so I'm thinking about random shit. like: it's insane to me that I'm totally fine living on the ground floor now. it used to really freak me out. I hated being downstairs when we lived in a house. I always felt watched when I had my room on the ground floor. and every time I visited my dad at his ground floor apartment - where I was on my own except for maybe an hour a day - I had what I now know were panic attacks several times a day. so like, that's pretty crazy.
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astriiformes · 8 months
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Starting to think that balancing two jobs, a mentorship program, being a full-time student with four homework-heavy classes, and also just, like, existing as a person might have been a hubristic decision
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