#i'm kinda really drunk so maybe it sounds a bit stupid but believe me when i say that it was actually insane in the best of way

[thewritingpossum]

Currently rereading this french scifi book that's all about a bunch of medievalish people building this absurdly high cathedral (and by 'high' i mean that none of the living human in this book ever got out of what they call the cathedral and touched the actual ground)in an attempt to reach God but then the big plot twist is that the ruling class are actually a bunch of almost immortal alien beings who accidentally crashed on Earth during the actual Middle Ages, need to be at a certain height to launch their rocket and go back to their planet and therefore used the people's faith and whatever ingineering they had at this point to reach their goals, not caring that it would take centuries and centuries because it's litterally just a few hours for them and honestly this could be such a cool movie, somebody please adapt this thing right now

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

"Secrets in everything: Letters, neighbors, and things only walls will tell you"

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that i haven't posted a fic in a while! it seems like i only post one every two to four weeks at this point ughhhh anyways ive written this fic for a friend but also for yall as well so i hope yall like it! after this fic im gonna work on an ask then so ill hopefully have that up soon for the person who sent it in! A little picture collage will be coming VERY soon lmao i didn't have time to make one yet. This fic all started when i was having some Minghao brain rot and stumbled upon this prompt about wifi names: "apt 203 is loud as fuck" "apt ??? say it to my face bitch" strangers to lovers and shit ya know? i cannot express how sorry i am that this is late! I put it in my que and since it didn't post when i wanted it to, i tried posting it on my own and it wouldn't let me. in summery: never using que again

anyways here are the warnings/info: cursing, smut, Very heavy on the smut, speaking of sex like it's something you need and not just want if you squint, slightly hinted at romance between hao and reader i guess idk, but you could just as easily read it as friendly affection, Minghao gets drunk and is a wee bit stupid, reader is on top, reader is referred to using they/them pns but has a vagina and tits, and a very nice ass that minghao likes to grab throughout this fic lmao, Minghao is thirsty for reader, reader is thirty for Minghao, Minghao keeps how he made the wifi name a secret from reader but it eventually comes out at the end, mutual masterbation.... through a wall if that makes sense, oral sex (f. receiving) hand job, protected sex (be safe, ya'll), shitty ending lol, friends to friends with benefits, writing out sex dreams? Minghao says something while drunk and can’t undo it although he wants to

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper”. This is in no way is meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone~

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Thoughts lead to desires, desires lead to actions. Thats what kept replaying itself in Minghaos head the second he hit enter on his phone to change his wifi name. He'd heard it when he was a kid. Somewhere he couldn't quite remember. But now, suddenly, it was burning so fresh in his mind he couldn't get it out. He sighed to himself as he put down his cup. Looking down at his phone screen with and various other wifi names popping up bellow the words he cannot believe he just wrote. "apt303isloudasfuck"

He really shouldn't be doing this. This is why he shouldn't drink, he thinks to himself. Especially since whenever he saw you rushing out to work or school, or wherever you carried yourself to each morning. He swears his heart does a flipping routine.

And this? If you found out it was him telling everyone in the radius of your apartments that you're loud? It could ruin whatever you two don't already have. He thinks that maybe he'll just try his best not to be seen by you. Like, ever again. The problem with that though is how you both need to leave at about the same time to get to wherever you're going. And besides, maybe he did kinda want to mess around with you a little bit. Maybe that'll teach you to keep it down. If it wasn't loud music then it was some... other noises. Sounds of you, moaning and groaning. Making a mess of yourself behind his wall. Or, maybe somebody was the one making your words incorrect and moans fall from your lips.

or maybe the latter was your roommate. Cause as much as he didn't want to admit it, he didn't want to believe it was you who was getting pleasured by other people. Cause damn, he really wanted to be the one making you moan like that. He didn't even know you, so who's making you cum shouldn't be any of his concern. And it wasn't! Much. He wants to be the one making you feel good, bringing you to orgasm with his tongue. And he didn't like to think about the fact that other men were making you feel the way he wanted to.

But, none the less, whenever he did hear you, with only the thin sheetrock wall between each of your headboard. Thin enough to where he could hear you so clearly as if you were right there in front of him. He sure did enjoy the verbal show you put him through; fisting his cock until his tears made him bleary eyed and he couldn't take it anymore- his hand drenched with own cum from orgasming a million times along with you but still never feeling relived. So he always kept going until the pain of overstimulation was too much to bare. For you, all for you.

That was when one night he realized he didn't hear anyone else moaning along side you. Come to think of it he never really did. Sure, sometimes but not every night. that meant you were pleasuring yourself? The sounds started so suddenly he didn't have time to react. The thought of your fingers pleasuring yourself, pumping them in and out of you, covered with your slick and rubbing your clit? It drove him crazy, It was music to his ears. He could listen to your beautiful sounds forever.

He didn't even have the time to pause the show he was watching on his phone, taking his other headphone out of his ear so quickly that it landed off the surface of the bed. Where his headphones ended up wasn't really a concern for him. Cause in that moment all he could think about was you. He could always rewind it later. That is, if he ever could stop pleasuring himself to the echoes of your voice, even after you stopped. Cause for him, once he started he could never stop with you. You were too addictive for him. The way to talked, the way you'd always leave a little note with the bundle of mail you'd drop off at his door when ya'lls would get mixed up. Whenever he'd come home to see it he couldn’t have been more glad for apartment numbers to get mixed up and a mail person who did their job a little too quickly at your building sometimes. Albeit he was a little sad he didn't catch you; but he liked the look of your handwriting-- it was cute, he thought.

but fast forward a little later and he’s starting to write back. And not just when you mail gets mixed up, either. Just little sticky notes he taps on your door ending with smiley faces and exclamation points. You start writing him back, too. And before you two know it you’re sharing notes ripped out of full notebooks with arrows pointing to the back because you still have more to say but never enough room. He seems so easy and just oh so caring through this words the more you two find yourselves awaiting the pages you’d put in the others mail boxes. Finding yourselves excited more and more for the familiar hand writing inked on clean white paper. You two talk about anything and everything. But don’t be fooled, cause minghao spends the better half of his dinner time making sure each and every letter in his letters to you are legible. He feels like a little schoolboy trying to impress you with his neat handwritten and well detailed sentences. But he can’t help it; he just wants you to think he’s somebody. Somebody worth spending your time with and talking to. He doesn’t know why but he feels like, especially with the more he’s talking to you, he wants you to view him as someone cool. Great, he thinks. Now he definitely sounds like a little kid.

would you mind? He asks himself. Would you mind that he’s a little desperate for you? So desperate that he lays in bed and stays awake a little longer now because he wants to hear your sweet voice react as you pleasure yourself again for the hundredth time? He hopes not. But, just like that new Wi-Fi name he’s chosen for his router, that’ll stay between him and his apartment’s ceiling. The thing he looks up at in both instances. Sometimes when he gets reminded of what you’d think of him if you if it ever got out that he wrote the “apt303isloudasfuck” and how he doesn’t understand why he still has it up. And the other time he looks up at the ceiling is with his mouth agape, his lips wet from his tongue running over them with each torturing stroke of his hand over his bulge in his pants. The fabric constricting him to were it was painful every time. But not wanting to stop touching himself for long enough to slip down his pants. (The response on the Wi-Fi thing only comes after they talk o each other face to face. “…and when he checked his phone again, looking down at the bright alumina red screen with tires eyes, there was another name quite similar to the one he put down as his one. ‘Apt???sayittomyfacebitch’

he slammed down his phone onto the nearest surface (which just happened to be his lap. Yeah… not the best idea) but believe it or not he wasn’t really thinking about that right now. You responded?? Well, he doesn’t know who would call “apt???sayittomyfacebitch” a real response like oh, I don’t know, “yeah, my day’s going great.” But you noticed? Well then again it would be pretty hard to disregard when your apartment is getting dragged through the mud with a wifi name. But this made him even more worried. This means you’ve definitely seen it. And based on what you said…. You were probably looking for the person who wrote that. What if you found out it was him? Is this why you were taking an interest in him all of a sudden? No, he believed in his ability to conceal it from you enough to know you’d never find out. That’s when, with this new information clouding his good judgment he just had to grab the neatly folded paper from his bedroom desk and walk out his door. A little potted plant was the only thing separating yours and his places of residence from each other. One put up and watered every Saturday morning. He patted down the backside of his hair as he made sure not to ruin the paper he so neatly folded for you. Realizing he forgot tape to stick it to your door, he was About to go and get some when he heard movement behind the heavy door that lead into your apartment. rustling of footsteps and cloths. And before he knew it your face had appeared in front of him, door swung into your foyer. He couldn’t just leave now. You had seen him. So he tried his best to put on a not awkward smile as your eyes lit up the dim outside hallway he was standing in. Your presence seemed to replace the light bulb that had been missing the fast few days in the overhead lights. “Hey, Minghao. Nice to see you.”

you remembered his name?? His name? The person who let everyone know how loud your apt was? Of course you did. What else? You’d started off almost each and every letter to him with his name in one way or another. Oh great, now he was thinking about all of your letters to him. Everything you had shared with each other from the depths of both of your hearts. How the fucking hell was he supposed to look you in the eyes when you knew how, when he was in high school, he had fallen on his actual face trying to reach his pencil when it had fallen underneath his desk. Leaned too far out of his chair and then boom! Face planted. How was any human being supposed to look someone they considered a friend in the eye when all you two did was trade letters to each other because of your busy schedules? Not to mention how he’d been stupid enough to let it slip that he can barely open a bag of chips without it busting out the bottom too. But, he remembers, it did make you laugh. So maybe he could do this. He’d made you laugh and carried quite deep and just plain old nice conversations with you over letters for months. What was so hard about doing them with you face to face?

He gave you a smile as you slid to the side. “Hi. I was just dropping your note off.” He says. How could you be so cool calm and collected, he wondered. Meanwhile, you were asking yourself the same thing about your neighbor. The neighbor you couldn’t stop thinking about. The way he talked to freely with you, how you two just seemed to click after the first note; bouncing off of each others jokes and becoming friends. You’d considered giving him your number but you kind of liked getting to know him off paper through his best hand writing. You’d never tell him, but you secretly had a pile of folded papers in the top drawer of your desk you’d written out of him. Never sent. And probably, considering the contents of those letters, never will be. He shows you the folded note, this time on different paper, you notice. You take it out of his hands as you gesture for him to come inside. “Are you sure?” He gulps. You looked at him like he was crazy, shrinking back a little. “Dude, get inside.” You chuckled. He wasn’t usually like this. You think back to all the letters he’s sent you. And come up with not much to make you think he’d be like this around you. You certainly didn’t want him to be like that. after all you’ve talked about with each other you’ve come to know someone, even if it is only over paper… someone who you consider a friend. That’s another reason why you could never send him those letters. They had… things in there that two friends wouldn’t never think of the other. Or at least admit them out loud to them. But, with the way he handled himself now, which wasn’t that much different from his letters. But more uptight now that was standing by your coat hangers by the door and bending down to take off his shoes. You didn’t know what, but something was off with him. He was jittery, lol he had just snorted a two cups of sugar on the way out his door. His eyes darted around like he was in an awkward setting. So, you tried you best to make him as comfortable as possible.

you lead him through your apartment and into the living room. He took a deep breath. He wants to tell you that he’s not always like how he is now: palms sweating, and unable to talk much. You just overwhelm him to the point where his mind is clouded and his actions seem off. It shouldn’t be a problem for him though, you talk to each other multiple times a day. Like, full on conversations. But now it all feels just a little too real with you hovering over him as he sits down on your sofa, trying to remember that you’re both friends. He comes back to earth with you weave you hand in his face. You laugh nervously at his distraction. “You didn’t hear a thing I just said, did you?” Shit shit shit. This really isn’t a good look for him. “No,” he hangs his head low for a second, “im sorry I didn’t.” You lean back and seem to relax a little bit. It almost looks like you’re just as in need to relax as he is.

Just didn’t have have the horrible talent of not being able to hide it well. It wasn’t his fault. He was already trying his best not to get hard. Having to not act nervous and flustered over seeing your pretty faces too? That was a lot to ask of Minghao. That’s why he sat down. And why he was crossing his legs in hopes of trying to distract himself from the yearning for you inside him. For him to have all of you. For him to make you sound just like you do when he hears you in your room. God, all he ever dreamed of now was you writhing is pleasure above him as he tongued your clit. Or you wrapped some tightly around his cock he felt like you were trying to choke him and make him cum. “I said my roommate isn’t home.” Oh, so you did have one, “and asked if you wanted something to drink.” It made him feel strangely comforted though, that you also were feeling the same as him.

He agreed readily. Finding it easy to make room to spend more time with you. You came back not a couple minutes later and ploped down next to him, your chin in your palm. You didn’t want to admit it, but fuck he looked so beautiful in person. It made you wanna curl up on your sofa and immerse yourself in him all day. You’d be content with just staying here and doing just that, making up for All the missed times where you could’ve been already. But no, you kept yourselves mostly behind the pen and paper. Scribbles and commas became your only form of sight into what the other looked like. You didn’t even realize how long you’d been carrying out your plan to stare at him until he shifted a little farther back into the cushion. “Is it just me or is that way more awkward than it should be?” He chuckles, taking a sip of his drink. And then getting a sickly little whispering reminder of how he was now: drink in hand, phone in reach— was not that unlike the situation where the secret he has to keep from you now came about. But no, he can’t think of that right now. He’s trying to keep his mind free of anything that could jeopardize your friendship. And thinking of the one thing he’ll never be able to tell you might do the trick if he doesn’t stop. But strangely, the idea of you finding out— the idea of you strongly telling him to take the fucking thing down doesn’t do anything but make him want you more inside. You telling him-- no, ordering him to take it down.He didn't know what or why, but it made him reach all new kinds of levals of excitement. Anticipation of what you could do to him. How you’d moan for him and writhe under his touch. The possibility we’re endless and he couldn’t stop thinking up new ones.

There’s an un spoken rule between the two of you… both of you made noise. Noise that neither of you really minded because it brought you so much pleasure. But in all your writings to each other, you’d never talk about it. That was the rule: don’t bring up what happens at night. A Thought Leeds to a desire, and a desire Leeds to an action. So you tried not to talk about it, no you even theirs noting to think about it, was there?

All you needed to do was get through this night. As... friends. Because that was what you two were-- friends. Noting more, noting less. Didn't matter than you imagined him every night you were alone and needed relief. Him and that cute smile of his. Him reaching up to fix the light in your little corner of hallway on your floor of your apartment. The way his shirt rode up, exposing his waist. God, you'd do just about anything to have his skin under your fingers. Feeling the softness of his tummy.

"So you said there's some shows you never got to watch because you dont have the streaming service?" You shook your mind out of its dangerous thoughts. providing an easier environment not to pounce on him; less... tempting when you were thinking of watching tv with him and not being on top of him. His shirt on the floor. He nods, leaning impossibly closer to your already heavy breathing form. Didn't he realize the effect he had on you? You gulped, hopefully not loud enough to hear. You didn't need this to go anywhere that wasn't what normal friends do. "My roommate pays for one of the places that show you were talking about plays on." You look him dead in the eyes as you reach for the remote.

You had planned on just doing so as a question to him weather he wanted to watch anything. But it turned into the most arousing staring contest youd ever been a part of. You looked into his eyes, forgetting to blink. You felt that if you did you might miss commenting about the way they flickered and shone. There was something else in them, though. His pupils were blown wide. somehow making his eyes even darker. You wondered what he could be thinking about. But that didn't really matter, did it? Because what you should've been focusing on was how to move away from him

You were so close you could feel his body heat like a radiator. How was he not sweating? You felt like the sun was right in front of you. Meanwhile, Minghao was wondering the same thing. The ac kicked on at just the right time because he didn't know how much longer he could keep himself from visibly overheating. That was the last thing he needed right now. You got up on your knees to reach for your glass. Why did you have to do things that drove him wild? Did you know deep down that you were torturing him with every move? It was stupid and desperate for him to have to control himself so much after the little you were giving him. It wasn't much, but it was teasing him. It all made him crave more. It was childish and desperate of him to be like this with you. But he didn't really care anymore. After knowing you-- even if it was only from swapping letters, he couldn't get enough of you. If you ever stopped taping letters to his door then he'd beg on his knees for you to continue. He didn't care that it seemed desperate because it was. He was. Desperate for more of you. Just like he was now. So much so that when you leaned forward again to pick up the remote to turn the volume up of a show that he'd been wanting to watch for months, but somehow with you it sounded like background noise. He couldn't pay full attention to it for the life of him because You were Right There. Next to him. Smiling and chuckling and genuinely enjoying what you were watching with him. The smile he hoped beyond compare that youd have when reading his letters. He'd only seen it a few times in person, but, a feeling bubbled up into his chest. The same one he feels every time reading your writings to him.

He felt and aching in his groin. If his eyes weren't as wide as saucers before, then they definitely were now. He didn't even need to look down. More afraid to than anything. If he took his eyes of either you or the tv-- things that he wanted to be real, things that were real... Well, he doesn't know what that'll do but he doesn't want to acknowledge it thats for sure. He really doesn't want it to be real. This cannot be happening. Not here, not right now. but How could he not be half hard when you could lean over and kiss him right now if you wanted and hed let you? How could he not be half hard right now with you looking so god damn otherworldly? When all these plush sofa cushions made him want to do was to bring you on top of him and rub you on his thighs and cock until you made a mess on his sweats? It was impossible. He searched whatever space was left in his near thought cleared, empty and short circuiting brain, using what he thought where his last few brain cells that weren't occupied with you to think of what to do about his problem. His eyes landed on a pillow on the back of your sofa, likely moved out of the way for more room. Quickly as to avoid suspicion, he glided it down from its perch and on top of his growing erection.

Little did he know that you had turned the tv up to drown out your own thoughts. Thoughts you didn't need of him. Never doing you any good other than frustrating you further. Making you desire him more. Nearly an hour later and you two had sunken further into the sofa... and each other. Thoughts lead to desire, and desires lead to action. That was what you had to keep repeating to yourself over and over until youd hopefully get the point to stop thinking of those beautiful, soft looking lips. Didn't help that his tongue was fucking darting out to wet them every two seconds. You couldn't help but stare at them. It wouldn't hurt if you just leaned a little closer, would it? Friends cuddle on their sofas while watching the tv all the time.

And your ac was running a little high. But instead of getting up to turn it down like you usually would have to, I don't know, not waste your money. You stayed just like how you were, grateful for the excuse you could readily have available to you if he asked. But to your surprise he didn't. Although he did press the pillow more firmly into his lap. If you didn't know better you would've thought the pillow was made of gold or something. Like it was his teddy bear or something. You couldn't even think of anything else besides how badly you wanted to push both the pillow and preferably also his shirt off of him and shove him down into the sofa.

This was pathetic, you thought. A new low for you, even. This was your first time spending more than a couple minutes with the guy face to face and... not like it was awkward. No, not at all. You had been friends for six months or so over letters. But being with him. No, being so fucking close to him on this damn sofa was making you desire him even more.

That was it, now! Great, you'd already crossed one line of thinking about what youd like to do to him. Now you were starting to desire it, too. Not much longer and you feared you'd take action on those thoughts and desires. You really needed to make your self think of anything anything that would save you from this self induced peril.

"Did you see that weird ass wifi name?" Your words almost made minghao jump out of his seat. Steadying his pillow over his lap (his stupid fucking boner still hadn't gone away) And clearing his throat, he finally responded. "Oh? That? No, I haven't. What is it?" He tried sounding airy, nonchalant, free as a bird. "You know, that wifi name that had popped up what, about six months ago?" You seemed to ask yourself the question, pausing for a minute before continuing, "Around the same time you and I started talking. It says-- actually, lemme pull it up right now. Its fuckin hilarious." You whip out your phone before he could say another word and before he could even take another calming deep breath you were reaching over him, check pressed up against his upper arm, showing him the wifi name he made but couldn't tell you about. Why does he keep it on there anyways? He doesn't really want to even admit the only to reason he's come up with to himself. One was that yeah, your apartment was loud and it felt nice to have this. Even if you could one day find out and ruin whatever this thing he had with you was. Number two was that maybe it did make him painfully hard to think about what youd do to him if you found out. Use his cock for your own pleasure for hours until he was crying from overstimulation? Tell him not to cum until you tell him to, touching him in ways that'll make him let out embarrassingly loud noises for you, telling him that if he came without permission youd punish him cause he was a bad boy? Everything that could happen? He couldn't get them out of his head

"That's weird." He chuckled, scratching behind his neck, "Never saw it." He seemed nervous. But you were kind of liking his blushing face and puppy dog eyes. But Really? You thought. For some reason, your shitty building interfered with even the best of wifi providers. So most people had to reconnect their devices to their wifis every once and a while. Maybe he was on a part of the building where it wasn't as bad? Or maybe he paid extra for better wifi? It didn't really matter.

A little later at you had gotten up to refill both of your drinks. Little did you know Minghao had followed right behind you. He didn't really know what that said about him, all he knew was that he didn't want to be separated from you just yet. Even if it only was for a few minutes. He hadn't had his fill of you. Though, he doesn't think he ever will. You could feel him behind you. His presence, just like every other time he talked to you, was heavy as lead in the air. You could smell his cologne, too. And you didn't mind that the smell would linger in your apartment and stick to your sofa for longer than he'd be here.

You didn't, however, really pay much mind to how close he was. Nor did he, honestly. Neither of you really could care or complain, though. As when you turned around you came face to face oh so closely with your houseguest. The gap between you was small enough to where the cups in your hands pressed neatly against his chest, making your knuckles dig into his skin enough to feel his body heat. Also close enough were you could feel how much he really enjoyed being so close to you. You backs away, not nearly as fast as someone caught in this situation would usually be like.

Although missing your presence so close to him, he knows he needs to pull away from you. You were probably grossed out because of him now. And yes, maybe one day he would've told you how he feels, this was not the way he wanted it to go at all! He can't believe he just did this-- not remember the thing he's been trying so hard to hide? He wishes he could go back in time and slap himself in the face for even thinking that getting up without something to cover his crotch was a good idea. To his surprise though, you smile at him knowingly. And before either of you has a chance to think about what you're doing, you pull him closer to you. Just like you had been before. Expect now theres no barriers of fear between the two of you.

His hands fall limp at his sides. Yours slide up his torso. Both of you wanted this; to move closer. But it seemed like just as before, neither were going to make the first move. But you liked him this close. And even if noting was going to come of what you had just done besides nervous laughs and turning heads in the future, you would be glad to have his body this close to yours in your memory. His hands ghost your hips. A shiver runs its way up your spine at the phantom touch. "Was that a good sigh?" He asks. Lost in the throw of everything about him, you hadn't even realized you had let one out. "Of course it is." You say, trying to bring him even closer. You see him swallow hard before bringing his lips closer to yours.

It takes all of your willpower-- a source that was already dramatically dwindling once he got here. To not yank him in and smash you lips to his. Something you've been wanting to do for a while. But with his hands planted so wonderfully on your hips: firm but still delicate enough to never crush a flower. You're not sure how much longer you can hold out. He takes the next step: leaning a little closer to you. By now your faces are mere inches apart. "This is bad..." He whispers, his fingers now hooked in your belt loops. Because, he knows that if he gives in now, he'll neve able able to stop. Wrapped around your finger. "Maybe," you whisper, tongue darting out to lick your lips, an act his eyes followed with concentration. You loved the look-- wide eyed and begging, it looked beautiful on him. You wanted more. "But this is the good kind of bad, hm?" You suggest. He nods slightly, still focused on your lips. Not like you aren't with his. As you close whatever gap was remaining between the two of you. Prohibiting you from being as close to him as you wanted. As you desired.

This felt so good, so natural. A blissful feeling you adored with all your heart. Even only a few seconds in. Minghao really wanted to take this slow, take his time with you. But the aching in his pants were starting to become painful. A glorious moment of feeling his lips on yours later and he's pushing you against your kitchen counter. His kisses becoming as urgent at yours. You never really tried to be gentle. After the first kiss-- the first second or two of him kissing you? You would be dumb to hold back.

He pressed himself into you even more. His knee slotting between your legs. His mouth was hot. Same as the growing feeling in the pit of your stomach. He parts his pretty lips-- the same ones youve had dream after dream of wrapped around your clit. You moaned into his mouth when he stopped gasping your belt loops like they were life support and griped your hips with newfound vigor. You deepen the kiss even more, something you weren't sure was possible.

His weight on top of you was driving you crazy. He pulled away from air, breathing heavy into your mouth. Your name on the tip of his lips. You couldn't stand not having them on you again. You felt his body tense when you pull him back to you. But this time your lips only ghosted his, fluttering over them. Only making him want you more. Before moving to the soft skin of his neck, leaving a trail of kisses there that made his body go slack against yours.

Your fingers prickled and tingled as you slid your hands up his bare back, his shirt already halfway untucked. His tongue explored your mouth with vigor. At a time like this you were grateful for the counter to support your weakening legs. Not like you were really thinking of that anyway now, though. All this time you only had one thing in your mind: to make him want you, to be on top of him making him moan for you without let up. But now you weren't too sure if you were going to be the only one doing so. You couldn't hold back anymore. You needed to feel some sort of friction. By now your underwear was soaked ; you could feel the fabric cling to your wet pussy. All you wanted was for him to take them off of you. Pulling them to the side to finger would be just as good. You didn't care, you just need something form him. Anything.

"Fuck--" You inhaled sharply, grinding your hips against his thigh. Your apartment was getting colder no doubt . But even with his back exposed neither of you were shivering. Both too lost in how you made each other feel. You couldn't seem to get enough of him. Even if you've been reading his letters every day. Your fingers made their way to his beautiful, soft hair-- hair only and angel would have. So pretty and otherworldly it seemed unreal under your fingertips. As he moved down to your next. Though his lips never seemed to want to leave yours. He spent a while on your jawline, kissing in the spot where your neck met your face until it was beautifully numb. The good kind of numb that made your eyes roll into the back of your head. The spot would no doubt the tinder later on in the day. But you felt oddly pleased to have a reminder of him on your skin for as long as you could. Even after going a little further down to lick and gently press his pretty lips to the front of your throat, he still chased your lips like a man deprived of your kisses as if he didn't have them a moment ago. But once he fully focusses on his task he is unstoppable.

Every drag of his tongue on your felt like a delicious mix between torture and heaven. The feeling he was making erupt inside you was like no other you'd ever felt. And you never wanted him to stop. Of course, with the first coherent though in your brain for him to never stop, he did. This time his eyes finding yours, having a question in them. You nod. and with that he goes even lower. Your color bone becoming wet and sticky with his saliva. You pull his hair down to keep him there. You're still moving on his thigh. But it isn't enough. Not like it ever was. God, what you'd do in that moment to have his mouth on your pussy. He emerged back up to your face, looking at your with needy eyes. A second later and his lips are on yours. He melts into you, begging looks never forgotten as you flip him around so that now he was flush with the counter. He makes a sound of agreement as you start working on his neck desperately, just like he had done with you. With the thought of his fingers, his thigh was long forgotten by the both of you. Now you didn't think that it could ever do justice when all you could think about is his slender fingers and how they were gliding up your sides right now.

He tilts his neck back to give your more access as he bucks his hips into you. Both things you wish you had thought of sooner. "I-I-" He mumbles, not really knowing what he was going to say anyways. Even with just your lips on his neck, words dying in his mouth, all he can think about is them as you make your way up and down his skin there. All he can think about is ho soft they are. All he can think about is how they'd feel wrapped around his aching cock that was now pressed up against you. And now that all hes thinking about is having more of you he can't help put let out a strangled moan, as it rips from his throat he realizes that it's probably too loud for something as little as you sucking on his neck. But at this point he doesn't really care. He just wants to you to know how good you're already making him feel.

As soon as you pull his shirt over his head was as soon as his expression changed. His eyes seem to focus on reality now, breathing starting to steady. The look of need and pure fucking lust for you stays the same though. You plan on making it stay that way again and again. Even if you don't get to do anything more than kissing with grinded with him. Just to see the look in your eyes would be enough to bring you to your high on your own. "I dont wanna do this here. bed?" he asks with puppy dog eyes. How could you refuse him?

he grips your ass and kneads it-- strong grip, but with a kind of softness you can't deny, as you lead him to your bedroom. More like stumble into it, your lips never leaving each other. Locked with the key thrown away. To involved in the kiss he nearly bumps into the door frame of your bedroom. You jerk him away, finding it endearing when he chases the plush of your pretty lips. He realizes the you’d just saved him a bump on the head. “Well, guess that’s on walking backwards. Maybe—“ no time to think. You grab his hands with a primal, animalistic strangled sound. You needed him. Now. You grind into his lap, trying to find some sort of relief in the fabric of his pants and the flesh of his thigh. “Ah— don’t stop” he whines out, head thrown back like this was the best thing in the world he’s ever felt. At your hands. you almost stop in surprise. But his words have such an effect on you that you don’t think you can. Now you have to keep feeling him.

He doesn't know why or what came over him, but in a flash his hand his wrapped around your wrist and bringing it to his crotch, helping you feel how hard he is through his pants. "Shit— baby. See what you do to me?" Where this sudden courage came from, he doesn't know. But you have to know how crazy he is about you. you have to. He needs you to know. You shiver at the feeling of him beneath your hand. You nod at him, barely trusting your own words. You continued to rock into him, clenching your teeth. He reaches down between the two of you, watching his fingers as they snake right were you need him. Even if still covered in the confines of your pants. (Neither of you thought you could ever hate clothes as much as you did in that moment. They weren't doing you any good.) the wonderful feeling of him on your clothed pussy felt like no other. Now that you had a taste of his fingers, just as before with his thigh and just like a second ago with his hard length, you could never go back to something smaller. It just kept getting better and better. Now that you felt his fingers, noting else could compare. The desire for them was about to lead into action. But you couldn't care less. "I-Is this ok?" He asks. And youre taken aback. Him? Asking if you liked it when you couldn't even think straight enough to keep sucking on his neck like before, resorting to pressing a few kisses there in the meantime.

"You're doing great." You say, trying to keep any shakiness out of your voice. You dont want him to know how much of a n effect he has on you. He searches for your clit in a way that only made you want him more. Was he teasing you or was this real? You couldn't take it anymore: you unbutton your jeans and slide them down a bit, taking his hand and shoving it down to feel your wetness. He audibly gulps. Hard. You doesn't think he could ever move from this position: with his hand warm and damp with your arousal. When he doesn't do anything, his hand just idly underneath you, you say, "What? Nervous baby?" You laugh. Almost condescendingly. He gets the point a second later, shaking himself out of his daze. He wonders what this all says about him-- that he can't function the minute his hand is on your pussy. You grind yourself on his hand, his palm brushing against your clit every time your rock yourself on him. The fucking sounds in the air. Minghao doesn't think he'll be able to last very long with the obscene, almost pornographic squelching and panting he hears ringing in his ears. He finally takes his fingers into your ruined underwear, other hand that was feeling up your ass goes to your face, bringing you in for a hard and passionate kiss when he glides them inside of you.

At this point the kiss doesn't surprise you, you've come to have an inkling that he likes them. Or maybe, he just likes having them with you. It was bad, you knew that, but you didn't really care either way. Too lost in how his fingers curled inside of you just right. You were so warm, so wet and tight. He could just imagine what youd feel like on his cock. Meanwhile you? You didn't think you ever felt something so easily good. Just in an instant, he made you feel like he had everything you wanted and then some. Things you couldn't imagine just beyond your reach. You reel your head back and squeeze your eyes shut tight, trying to focus on not cumming so fast. He bucks his hips up onto your wet heat when he saw your face.

How was he making you feel this good? To the point were you were sighing and groaning and looking so fucking good? If his fingers weren't knuckle deep into your pussy, and his other hand wasn't pressed flat on the skin of your back, he'd pinch himself. Was this real? It sure didn't feel like it. Your hand his still on his wrist, holding him just were you need him. Forcing him to stay there. It wasn't like he'd ever want to leave you thought. He can't think of a single better feeling right now than your warm and tight pussy. He doesn't think the feeling could ever leave his mind if he could ever peel himself away from your bed once this is all said and done. But secretly, there's two things he doesn't know if he should admit yet. One: that he wants you to ask him to stay. He knows its only three in the afternoon... or at least it was when he got here.

(Thats another thing, ever since he go there all sense of time seemed to leave his brain. vanish along with his sanity into thin air.) He doesn't want to have to think about "when this is all said and done" and he has to tredge his way next door to his own bed. His own bed where all he'll have are the memories of you writhing and panting for him. Because of him. The ghost of your around his fingers, dripping onto his palm. And number two: is that your iron grip on his wrist did noting but turn him on more for you. Which, Minghao didn't even think was possible until now. But something about you making him stay right there where you needed him, helping him make you feel good... Something about that made his brain cloud and fog up enough to almost slow his pace inside of you. He guessed he just liked it when you took charge of him. Even in small ways like these. "Mmhm," You sound pleased, your hand never leaving his wrist and the other never leaving his bare torso, almost silently asking him to stay down, "Just like that." And at that moment he doesn't think he could ever feel better than how he does with that look on your face. You needed more. It was stupid, really. To just keep taking and taking and taking. But it looked like he was enjoying himself just as much as you were. "Please--" his beg meets your ears as you look down at him. His smooth skin under your hand, his pretty waist and nipples, everything,

"Eyes open..." For a second he seems lost for words, now desperate in his movements against you "I need to see you." Your lids snap open at his request. You couldn't see any reason to deny him. And it wasn't like you didn't want to take a moment to let his body sink into your mind. You run your hands up and down his torso, feeling every inch of him. Minghao shivers at the contact just like you did him but he doesnt make one move to turn away. How was he so god damn sensitive? And just from you feeling him up, too? But you wanted to remember what he felt like. The dip of his hips to his pronounced collarbone. The way his hair fanned over your pillow like a halo. He really was an angel.

But you felt like he was teasing. Giving your just enough to keep you begging for more. You got the feeling he wasn't doing it intentionally though. No... he seemed too nice for that. But no matter if he wanted to or not it was getting frustrating to have him playing with you like this. No outcome to his torturous actions. "Angel..." You call out to the man with the plush kiss blown lips that made you wanna devour them and then kiss away softly the harshness youve ensued on them. He breathes hard at the nickname, wishing to hear it fall from your lips like a prayer anytime youd have him all to yourself. Just. Like. This. He nods, your eyes never leaving his lips as his tongue darts out the wet them. He's been doing that all day. He had to have known what he was doing. He had confessed in one of his pretty written letters that he always brought chapstick with him. You weren't sure if you were glad he forgot it or mad at him because of how much you wanted to cum. "Don't tease." What was opposed to be heard as a light instruction, came out more like begging. But, to be honest. It wasn't like you were doing anything different in your heart. You wanted noting more than to cum around his fingers. So, just as before, the desires of the heart seep though your carefully tapped up cracks.

Minghao slows his movements, no doubt making you even more mad at him. But whats in his mind now could top anything hes done with you. It's been in his mind for a while now. And, in the end, he was never that strong willed when it came to matters of you. He told your just what he was thinking. though, it terms of trying to keep this friendship a strict friendship he was doing a horrible job at it. But, just as previously stated, a thought becomes a desire, and a desire will soon become an action. But now, he remembers something else from that saying: "it will then become sin." But the thought of you on his face, your thighs suffocating him and nose buried deep in your wetness sounds like heaven to him. The exact opposite. He'd been thinking about it for too long, then for a while he'd been desiring your like that, now he was finally asking. It seemed like it took forever to get out of his mouth. Hopefully like the taste of you on his tongue, refreshing when he licks his teeth. "I need you on my face." His words left you dazed. He finally stops his movements, his fingers still deep inside of you. "Angel, what--" "I need you on my nose." He nods his head once, beckoning you higher up on him. You slide a little further up on him, his fingers coming out of you with a sound he doesn’t think he can ever forget. He doesn't know how much more of this he can take. He fucking needs you on his tongue. Lapping up whatever you give him. Its not like you don't want to. No, it's something you've dreamed about for months. But as you start to get in your head about it, your thoughts turning from excited to worry. A comforting hand runs up your back, effectively letting you know he's right there with you. For you. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to. At all," He assures you. You nod, taking a breath. "Of course i fucking want to." You slide up onto his chest a little more. Shit, he can feel you dripping onto his stomach. How the fuck can he not cum right now? How could anyone not cum when you're on them like this? "Please, I just wanna make you feel good." He whispers.

And how could you ever deny him of his request? With his voice horse like he’d been screaming and his eyes pleading. You bring yourself to his face. His arms hand limp by his sides as if he wasn’t playing with your bra strap two seconds ago. “It’s ok.” You reassure him. He nods. His hands going up to grip your hips, slowly lowering you down onto his face. His tongue already hanging out and read for you. Just like his hard dick still in the painfully tight confines of his pants. He’s so fucking warm and wet. You can barely take the sensation. He starts moving the muscle a second later, giving you no time to adjust for damn great it felt to have him on you. You’ve waited too long for this. Having to control yourself around him and his fucking beautiful face. Him and his stupid body that was so nice all you wanted to do was sit atop it and stay there. His hands and voice that always brought you back to your bed at night. Your roommate was almost never home before you so that gave you the perfect opportunity to get yourself to relax. And also at the same time make him feel just how much of a effect he had on you. You always knew he walks had to have been thin— you could practically hear every other thing the man did on the other side. You always thought that had to be a bad thing. Now you see that it could be just as good.

Even better with how beautifully he responded. Giving you a taste of how he’d sound in person. How he’d be. A melody to your ears and quite the sight to see. In fact, that was exactly what you were thinking as you leaned back, his tongue still working wonders on you just by its slow and steady small mow vents. You could tell Minghao was still just testing the waters. And you’d never dreams of rushing him. No matter how much it felt like he was everywhere you didn’t need him. First on your outer pussy lips. You crying out at his tongue slid up and down your pussy-- rubbing just hard enough in a way he learned that made you clench your fists in pleasure. Then he was dipping the muscle in your needy and clenching hole. You didn’t want to admit it but you didn’t think you ever wanted anything more than to take him in at that moment. You let your hands roam freely on his chest behind your back, stretching your muscles as you felt his soft silky skin run along your finger tips. His tongue runs up and down your folds. It was sloppy, and somehow needy like his kisses. But it still felt like heaven.

Your eyes roll into the back of your head, you can't feel his skin under your palms anymore because of how mind clouding the sensation was. Did he know was he was doing to you? His eyes were watching your face intently, searching for signs you liked whatever he was doing. He grips your hips even harder, but you didn't care about finger nail marks or bruises when he brought you even closer to his face. Now flush against him, his nose bumping your clit in a way that made your head reel. He gets to work on making your cum. It seems as if his only goal he's ever had now is to bring your to your high. It's all he can think about. Sure, his bare torso was shivering under the coolness of your ac but now it was hot as fire under your touch. He dips his tongue into your gaping hole again, liking the reaction your give him more than anything.

"Stick your tongue out?” A mix of a question and a demand, he happily obliges. You rock yourself onto him. His mouth, his lips, and his tongue. Trying to bring yourself to orgasm even faster. Your thighs locking around his head and cutting off most of his hearing. But he didn't mind. Now that he got a taste of you, he'd let you do anything to let him get it again. But why was he thinking of if he'd ever get to have his tongue buried inside your perfect pussy again when he was just getting started? hes going so fast wit you. too fast. he wants to take it slow (as if having oral sex the first time youre together for more than thirty minutes in person is slow) He wants to take it down a notch. So it doesn't end so fast. He needs you so, so fucking much. But he'll be damned if he can't take his sweet time with someone like you.

He takes charge again, running his tongue in circles around your clit. You tug in his hair to bring him closer as his warm palms slide up your back, playing with your bra strap. He brakes concentration on making little kitten licks along your clit for a second. So fucking good but torture still. He takes a brake to look into your eyes. Even fore a second. A frustrated grunt from you is what follows. "What're you doing? Keep going." You pant out. He keeps going, but no faster than before. Kitten licks turn into leisurely tasting your arousal in his mouth. Not stopping until every inch of him is coated in your slick. His lips and chin must be wet by now; he can feel your slick dripping down from his chin to his neck. it might've just been from all the teasing, but you were dripping this much for him? All for him. He thought. Running that sentence in his head no short of a hundred times and almost tasting it in his mouth. Because, wow. he was finally finally here. With you in your bed. Making you moan. He was finally the one who drew those sweet noises out of you. In the same place where he hears you almost every night. But this time it was him making you loose control of yourself and penetrating the walls with your noises. He could finally see you… and hear you in person. He was in heaven. Seeing what your face looked like when you pussy was getting played with.

Another one of your pretty moans spurred him on, quickening his pace because he thinks he'll die if he doesn't get to hear more of you right now. His tongue slides up and down your folds before getting to your clit again, making you let out a sigh of relief when the wet muscle mets your there. He can barely breath with his nose and mouth pressed so tightly up against you like this. But the wet and perfectly soft but stiff enough to make you go crazy. His fingers ghost up your legs, almost tickleing them, making your spread them wider for him. Fuck, he thought, a few mintutes in and he has already in love with your pussy. You scent, your taste. Everything. Not too far off from what he felt around you anwways. Noting new on his part. But this-- him brining you heat closer to his face so he can better lick and suck at you, that was new. But the good kind of new. A type of new that he wanted to always remain. Not something to try out once then never use again. The specail type of new that only makes you burn for more. Thats all he wanted with you-- more more more. Whateve more you were willing to give him he'd happily take.

The tip of his tongue dips inside your hole again, gaining the same reaction as last time he did so: you moaning his name out like a prayer. "Mmh," You pant, "right fucking there" Your hand that was preciously travailing down to undo the buckle on his pants stop abruptly, you, unable to move with his nose rubbing at your clit just right. He licks a long stripe up from your dripping hole, gathering all of your arousal he can on his tongue, to your clit. "You taste--" he bucks his hips up into the air when your warm fingers reach his hips, wanting noting more than to keep going. He knows he looks desperate, but in all truth he is. He really is. He just can't help himself. "Fuck, ah! You're perfect, so fucking perfect baby." He takes a break from eating your pussy so beautifully to look up at you. His dark eyes glossy and hooded, something primal and needy behind them just waiting to burst. And on other times, you would've shoved his face right back into you to get back to work. But this time all you seemed to want to do was to take in his handsome face. Just take a breath and marvel at it for a second or two. He licks his lips. His fucking perfect lips that are wet and messy and blown wider and have plumped up from all the kissing. And from how hard he had bee practically making out with your cunt a second ago.

Your juices are running down his chin but neither of you dare wipe it off. A reminder of how much he wants you, and how much you want him. You wonder how he's this worked up already. You hadn't even touched his dick. But god, did it make you feel powerful. You almost break into a laugh as he pants, one of the things, along with his heartbeat, that are in sync with yours. You don't really remember how it happened, but it did. And you for sure ain't complaining about it. You can almost hear his thoughts asking you what you're laughing about in his eyes. Then, before you can even say another word, he realizes. And in a spur of the moment decision, an act of bravery on his part, he takes your hand that was rubbing comforting circles on the back of your neck into his, making you bring your hand sliding down to his crotch up with it for comfort, he doesn't complain. "You really don't know how fucking good you taste?" He sounds surprised. Nearly addicted.

You've tasted yourself before, everyone has, right? It was definitely a distinct, flavor, but not really anything good or bad. It wasn't disgusting, wasn't delicious. You couldn't really fathom anyone loving it until Minghao. You had an inkling he had a bit of a oral fixation, you'll keep that in mind for next time, you thought. You shook your head no, and without another moments of hesitation, almost as if the world would collapse if he waited another second, he crashes his lips into yours, shoving his tongue in your mouth. He made your taste yourself on him. It still wasn't the best flavor, but something about the whole thing made you wanna cum on the spot. His tongue explored your mouth, coating you with your arousal still on his tongue. He needed you to understand how worked up you got him. How much he loved you taste. He needed it. He brakes the kiss with a whine, leaving you to chase his lips.

But still, more than anything you want him on your heated core. You want to cum. You snake your hands down to the waistband of his pants once more. "God, you're so good." He mumbles against you, the vibrations of his words that really, neither of you really knew what they meant, because, words like that could mean a millions things but also none, but damn did they sound fucking beautiful in his mouth. The vibrations that rattled your core felt so good that your had to stop yourself from sinking into him. You lean forward, your hands now planted where they were on his chest.

Your compose your self, finally, spitting into your palm a couple times. And he’s bucking into noting by the time you slide your hands down the front of his pants. He shivers when you touch his dick. He's so fucking sensitive from behind in the tight confines of his pants he thinks he'll blow any second. You start to pump him, though torturously slow. He groans again, and you pull him deeper into your pussy by his hair. Somehow it looking messed up like this makes him look even more attractive. And at the moment, you're more than done with the notion that you can't think of him like this.

"D-don't tease." He stutters out, barely being able to fucus now that you're touching him like this. He presses out another sound that makes your head reel. How, even though being as distracted as he seems, he's still able to keep a steady pace on licking you to your orgasm you don't know. The feeling of the weight of him in your hands is unmatched by any other you've felt before. By now, no more spit is needed, he's leaking out of the tip of this cock so much (the same one that you're rubbing your thumb over) to the point where he's making his own lubricant. His pre cum seeping in between your fingers and running down your hand as you pump him slowly. You could tell form the beginning that he didn't need much to cum, that he was trying not to for a while now. But you couldn't just have this time with him and not doing something of the sort, right? You'd be a fool not to take the chance and run with it. If Minghao were standing his knees would've already given out a log time ago. A muffled, "don't stop." comes in a plea from his mouth underneath you. "Wouldn't dream of it, angel." You assure him as you pump him faster. He gives a wet kiss to your clit, making your cunt even wetter and messier than before. He rubs his tongue all over your wanting slit.

You grind into his face again, chasing your orgasm. And he whimpers. A sound so delicate you wish you could bottle it up for youserlf and keep it forever. He's leaking like crazy in between your fingers, and groaning into you. His heart is racing like he'd just run for an hour. The sounds that are coming from him tonguing you are driving both of you mad. It's all just so wet and messy. But neither of you would change that for the world, liking it that way. He doesn't care that his pants are sticky and messy and that if he'd pull them back up all he'd be met with is a sopping wet patch on his on the front side of them And you don't care that your sheets are probably going to be ruined after you're done with him. At this moment in time all you two want to focus on is getting the other off. That's it. Plain and simple. His cock twitches in his pants with the next sound of ecstasy you make for him.

And he can't hold it in anymore. He squirms in your grasp, trying to keep himself focused. Senescing he was on the brink of cumming, you pump your palm around him faster, wishing your other hand could help you touch what you could not reach. You're fast and calculated, running your fingers along the length of him just right. The feeling of your hand, smooth as silk on him, is all too much to bare anymore. He shakes and quivers under your touch as he spilled into your hand. Gripping your waist so hard it feels like fire. He's sorry, he really is. Bu the needs something to hold onto while you're making him feel like it was dead and now being brought back to life. He groans into your cunt, never stopping his licking, trying to taste as much of your as he can as he cums. His voice, although muffled, lets out an unmistakable keen. He tries to still himself but the sensation is too much. You squeeze the base of his cock to ease him though his high. And his hands slide up and down your thighs. If he could he'd hold your arm in perfect place where it was. But when you kept it there anyways he felt like he wanted to give you the world. "G-god, thank you baby You're so good." His head can't stop spinning inside him as he spills his seed into your palm. "I-I" He can't speak. It's warm, and messy, and so fucking wet and it's all over your hand and fingers and you're still fucking him with your hand, not bothered by the thick liquid on you. Somehow that only turns him on even more. The wet squelching sounds picked up right back after they started, this time not from him and his desperate tongue.

"Fuck" He pants, his mouth still agape when you roll on him. Much to his dismay. If it were up to him he’d have your perched like royalty on his face for as long as he could. Your pussy blocking off his air supply as before and your thighs locked so fucking right around his head he can’t hear. Just. As. Before. And just as before he’d like to cum along with you in your bed again and again. Your soft sheets already feeling like heavenly clouds to him under his bare back. He's been dreaming of this, writhing in his sleep and waking up annoyed at himself, and at the situation of you not being there when he opens his eyes. He's been dreaming about you touching his cock again and again. Ever since you started letting him hear you at night by yourself, in your bed, fingers doing what you had secretly wanted him to do all this time.

He'd been imagining your moans-- the ones that he'd hear spill from your lips like fine honeyed tea, that he was the one causing you to sound like that and imagining himself just like how he was with you here: you on his face and his sensitive throbbing cock in your palm. He'd imagined himself making you cum and you squeezing the fucking life out of him in return. Making you cum... making your express beautiful sounds because of him and making you feel good. That was another thing on his mind lately. He stopped trying to make it go away, too. Opting to excuse himself from whatever he was doing and running for the nearest bathroom before anyone could see the tent in his pants. Sometimes forgetting to lock the bathroom stall in his rush to relive the tightness in his pants. It's all he can think about. Ever. Your cum on his tongue. What face you'd make. He already heard the sounds. And oh, did he want to hear more of them. The mere thought of it filled him with a sense of renewed vigor.

He spits on your clit, making the whole thing ever slipperier. Allowing him to glide his tongue up and down you even easier. Coaxing another moan out of you. You want to cum right then and there. He's giving you all you need. Everything you ever needed. The extra pressure on you that he's applying makes you wonder if one of those letters you couldnt send got to him about what you liked. he truth was, that, somehow got throughout the haze of pre orgasm bliss you were giving him, each pump of your hand making him more and more hopeful of the pending high that was to come. And sorted through what made you make the most noise. He wants you to feel good. If he just felt that good from just your hand then whatever he's doing must not be enough. He wonders if he's being selfish for a moment, but then you throw head back as your grind into his face, barely any noise of pleasure coming out because of how good it was all feeling. How good he was for you. And he knew he was on the right track.

"Please, I need it." He groans. Sounding more like a beg than he wanted to. "You feel so god." You wonder how he can reduce you to a whisper just from his tongue alone. One things for sure, you didn't wanna stop. "I-" Your shaky voice surprises even you,, "Right there, minghao!" You grip his hair a little tighter. HE can tell that you're close. Though you sounded even better in person when you were about to cum. This time on the flat of his tongue. "Go ahead," You hear from him, "Please baby. Cum on my tongue." Your high comes when your gazes meet-- fiery and sharp with pierced lust, but also wanting and soft enough to look at and just melt. Melt away everything. Strip away anything that was hindering you from feeling this way on him. Because of him. You moan and groan on top of him, not knowing where to look as his tongue works on you still through your orgasm. Never once stopping, wanting noting more than to collect your arousal on his waiting tongue. The pleasure he's still making your feel-- even as the final shock weaves of you still runs through you. Feeling like you body was being pushed and pulled from him and his torturous tongue moving against you. Because of him and what he's done for you.

He finally stops when you literally have no more to give him. But you still feel so fucking wet, dripping, even. Granted, some of the slick was Minghaos saliva coating your folds. But, for once you're spent. Not able to even hold yourself up. You'd talked a big game before this. Before he sunk the first kiss into your neck and ran his tongue up your pussy. You hadn't known how needy you could be until you saw his torso naked and felt the weight of him in your hand. you certainly hadn't expected for him to take so much out of you. But it was a good kind of tired. Not the kind where you wish fore more to be done but you can't give any (though, in all honesty, you wouldn't mind feeling him on you like this a second time.) Not the type of tired where your muscles ached and you felt like collapsing. But all you wanted to do was to fold into him. You felt tired, but no short of satisfied. When it was just you at night. Just you and your fingers and him on the other side of the wall. You could go on for awhile. Wanting, needing him to hear you. You never wanted to stop until you feel asleep. But with him under you like this... you couldn't quite explain it, but you were satisfied with staying close to him for a moment. And you did-- giving you two a minute to recuperate. Somehow it didn't feel forced. Sure, you were at the edge of your seat to continue with him, but you felt nice. Just taking a minute with him.

He guides you down onto his chest, his hand on your back. Warmth fills you like never before. Starting at the middle of your spine where his palm rested like an anchor, and springing forth to your neck and down you legs. Your hand drags itself away from his stomach and glides up his neck to his handsome face. Your head seems to fit perfectly in the crook of his neck. His mind starts to reel with all the possibilities of what could happen next. Who could say something next. What would you say, if anything? Or would you just lead him out your door? What would he say? But most of all, he thought of how it would be if you'd ever do this again. Maybe going further the next time. He'd die a happy man tasting you, but he still yearns to feel you. How he longs to be inside you.

But, for now. He was perfectly happy with just staying like how you two were-- his arms encircling your back and yours flat on his chest. He wants to stay like this. Not just until the both of you have recovered from your orgasms, but he wants to have you like this again and again and make you let out those beautiful noises until your throat is dry and your fingers are sore from gripping onto the sheets and his hair. He sighs contently. "Don't get too sleepy. We're not done yet."

His thoughts of fucking you again had to fall away, along with the taste of you fresh on his tongue. Something he wanted more and more every day, but something he was son beginning to realize he wasn't going to get, having to settle for the memory of it instead, fisting his cock to it-- and the sounds of your fucking moans. Unlike before though, it wasn't just a far away dream that floated to him whenever he heard you on the other side of his wall. IT was something that was a reality for him. Maybe just for a moment. But it was real and it happened. And now that his desire became a reality... all he could think about was how he wanted to feel you on him once more. Now that he got a taste he doesn't know how he survived without you for so long. God, he was so stupid not to have been having you in bed sooner. It was his new favorite thing. never leaving his mind like a good song he'd never get tired of. Now that it was real inside his mind, something that actually happened instead of a hazy image in his mind for him to dream about, he spun constantly with the thought of you. Over and over, never stopping as a thread in his stream of consciousness,. When he goes next door to his apartment later that day, all giddy and closing the door behind him and sliding against it like a person in a romance movie, he thought he'd never experience a better feeling. That was until, even though, just like the sounds you made for each other remained in the others apartment and never talked about, never mentioned until behind separate closed doors, you'd hadnt ended up on top of him or him in your bed like before... that was until you had come over after one of his letters had said something about him going on a date.

He didn't want to, really. But it had been nearly a month and, to his surprise one of his co workers had asked him out and well-- the truth was he did want to turn them down. HE really did. But they were always to nice to him. And besides, you had talked about setting him up with one of your friends. And as both options felt horrible to him, he'd rather not break the news to your own personal friend that he was never going to lust, and find attractive, and want to go out with anyone but you. He'd rather your friend not have to tell you that. He wanted you to be happy with your decision to set him up, and that if you did he wanted it to work out well. And that was why it couldn’t work: even while thinking of being set up with another person he couldn’t dare think of what that person might like about him, hoping they wouldn't be disappointed by him. But he could only think of how you'd feel if something you'd been working hard to set you failed.

This one, (and very much casual sounding by the look of it) date with his co worker didn't have to mean much right? No strings attached, no commitments. He liked the coffee shop they had suggested, and half prince anything sounded good to him. But here you were, in his bedroom. The same place where he had made that dreaded wifi name. The same name that he had tried to change when he go home from your place a couple days ago, and had been trying since. But whatever he did was to to avail. He was glad beyond compare that you hadn't asked for his wifi passcode. At this point he wouldn't even know what to say to cover it up. And it wasn't like this was something containable, either. He'd heard other tenants laugh about the name, agreeing if they were on the same floor or directly bellow you. What he spread about you? He felt like it was wrong more than anything else now. No longer filled with that sense of "what the fuck am i gonna do if they find out?" But now, his worries become background noise as you stand with your back turned to him, rifling through his closet on a mission to find him some "more self respecting clothes than what You described." Or, at least thats, what you told him in the last letter you taped to his door this morning.

He can barely focus when your gorgeous back, the same one he ran his fingers up and down not many nights ago, is turned to him? And how could he focus with well, all of you standing right before him? Trying to help him. Being so lovely and wonderful. True, just like you have always been with him. At least in his eyes. And all for no good reason anyways, because in all honestly he doesn't even like the person much at all. But, given how much time as passed before youve even brough the time you've spent together up. And how the wall is still separating you, maybe this'll help him to stop hanging onto to you. Even if it doesn't go anywhere, because, he's kind of hoping it doesn.t But still, maybe getting a so called taste of someone else to will bring down his want for you. You noticed something is up with your friend when he hasn't responded for a good couple minutes. You wave your hand in front of his face to get his attention. "Hello! Welcome back to the land of the living." You elongate the ends of your first at last words, hoping to make him smile.

For you? Always. Anytime

He rubs a hand over his face then through his hair, messing it up in the process. Did he really not know how much of an effect he was having-- pulling all this shit on you? "I sure don't feel it." He groans. God, it sends a shiver up your back. 95% Percent of it because your friend is sad, the other five percent he well, you hadn't heard his groans in nearly a month and fuck, you wanted to hear them like that again. You shake the memories from you mind as you place another shirt on his dresser into the "yes" pile, coming over to him. He's splayed out on the bed. A sight to see, really. Using his arm as a pillow and a blanket thrown over half of him, at this point mostly just bunching it up and laying on it. "Whats wrong?" you say in a sign songy voice, trying to make light of the situation. He chuckles, thinking you sound way too much like a mother with your eyebrow raised for your own good right now. "Jus' thinking about about why we've already spent thirty minutes on this. I leave in an hour and a half." Because i need more time with you before you go. "NO, really, what's going on in that pretty little head?"

He shrugs, trying to stay nonchalant. It didn't work on you though. He huffs like a child, rolling his eyes like a brat, flopping into his bed. "Just scared about the date." He says, keeping it simple. And yes, he wasn't lying at all. But he definitely wasn't stressed for the reasons he wanted you to think he was. You scoot a little closer to him. God, any closer and you'd practically be sitting on his lap. No, no. He seriously needed to stop before his thoughts became out of hand. Though, he wondered if it was too late for that. He wanted you to think he was beyond excited for the date-- that, other than his outfit he'd been thinking of it for days and couldn't wait. Now, he was thinking of taking the long way and claiming that he fell asleep or forgot his phone or something. But as stressed out as he was about this, he couldn't be an ass about it. So, he was going to try and make it on time. He didn't want to make his co worker think he didn't care about them. Cause he certainly did... like youd care for a cup of coffee so as to not spill it. But you? He cared for you like his own body. Unfortunately, you didn't fall for his see though crystal lies. "Well, yeah, I knew you were scared. But are you sure you should be?" He looked at you in question, fearing he might've just blown his cover, "Shouldn't you be nervous? Maybe even stressed out. Hell I know I would be, you've shown me their picture." You chuckle, he smiles. His eyes shine with glee like they always do when he smiles. Just like his eyes shone as you lay in bed together in peace. His chin on your head made you never want to leave his arms. You playfully nudge him. "As cute as they are..." You dip your head around to meet his gaze. You're leaning down and around and its an awkward looking position but you don't care.

"Really, Minghao, what's the matter?" "I wanna go on this date; I promise--" "Nobody said anything about you not wanting to go?" You say, your eyebrows raised in expectantly as if to tell him, you're not getting away from this question this easily. The truth was, you didn't really want him to go. You'd much rather have the rest of him in bed with you. But up until now you were going to suck it up because it seemed like he was happy about it. Now it seemed he didn't want to go either. "I'm just--" He sighs, running a hand through his hair just for it to go straight back into place, "What if I'm not into them?" He thinks it best to just tell you. I mean, what's the harm? A lot of people aren't into other people. Maybe now, as much as he didn't want you to have to, maybe you could help him come up with an excuse. Maybe you'd just have to give him one. "Sorry, I can't come because my next door neighbor said they're gonna fuck me lmao catch ya later ttyl" You know, better than that. Thats what he wants. Fuck more than anything. Thats why he'd doing this--- not only because youre his friend and he needs someone to unload that heavy feeling he's got onto someone, but also to give you an opening to hand him an excuse to stay. "What if?" You repeat. In a tone that said: tsk, either you do or you don't. "You're right" He sits up as if this just hit him. "I'm not into them. Like, at all." "Isn't that how it's supposed to work when you first start to 'get to know somebody'?" You ask, head tilted like a puppy. He thinks its the cutest thigh he's ever seen. "Yeah, yeah. You go out with them because you like how they've talked to you, three times and the very vague vibe and because they're cute, then you start to be 'into them', into them." He says. "Hao," He perks up at the name, "Looks like you're not too shocked by what I said. You already knew this, or?" You let your sentence trail off for him to answer. Damn you and you being close enough with him to pick up what he was feeling. It was really barely turning out to be in his favor.

"Maybe i wanna do something different with my time." He says, voice low and sultry, looking no where but your soft lips that seemed to be begging and calling for him, inviting him in with ease. "Yeah?" You ask, your voice for once not taunting but rather as soft and whispering--- only for the two of you to hear, no wall in between, "And what might that be?" He answers you with a kiss-- soft as his lips, it is. Sucking on you bottom lips so gently you can't help but moan into his mouth. His teeth grazing it so lightly it almost feels like tickling. Soothing and calming as you press yourself closer to him, hand reaching over to rest on his hip bone. spreading warmth and rubbing where you had previously squeezed nearly a month before. The two piles are messy and unruly on his desk and you had planned on picking them up by now but right now you couldn't care less. Noting else on you mind besides his lips and how needy you felt because of them. Because of him. You pull away, just for a second, to look at him. He's beautiful. Handsome beyond belief, really.

And it doesn’t take but a minute to get him hard against you, tent in his pants pressed on you just as before. Without a second thought you push him further into the bed and he pulls his shirt over his head. You scan his body. And your core throbs with need when you see him. His mouth hangs agape as you rub his skin as sensitive nipples. He bucks up into you in search of some sort of friction. It probably wasn’t the best idea to be doing this. He has a date, for fucks sake. And here he was getting his neck kissed by you. But right now, you didn’t really want to think about that. More concerned with getting his lips on yours again. He whines as he tilts his head into the pillows, giving you more access to his neck. “God, you’re like a dog in heat.” You whisper against his skin. He chuckles and runs his hands down, down, and down until finally stopping at our ass. Resting his hands there. You start kissing down his soft body. He’s so lost in the feeling of you that he doesn’t think to control the endless stream of consciousness running out his brain like water out a open tap. “I’m sorry. I’m so so so sorry” he whisperers, words barely heard over pants and little groans he can’t help but let out. He wants you to know how good you make him feel. Couldn’t be anyone else.

“whatre you sorry for, pretty boy?”

You raise your head a little to meet his eyes, belt discarded on the floor along with this pants. He doesn’t look like he wants for answer. And you know, as hard as he is, he isn’t that close. You stop all movements of kisses and hickys on his thighs that nearly shake with want for you to go where he needs you. He tugs you up closer to his face but your shirt, the same shirt that a second later he’s pushing up so he can kiss you tummy and waistline. And as good as his lips on your hipbones feel, you can tell there’s something wrong. You move his hand away from your shirt pushed up to your bra. He looks up at you. This time with more that just lust in his eyes. And that worries you. He seems scared, begging. Not for you to touch him, though. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling—“ you cut him off. “No, but I think you’re feeling some type of way and you’re not telling me.” You start to worry that he’s having second thought about this. I mean, he was supposed be getting ready for someone else. He turns his head away. “It doesn’t really matter.” He says. You scoff. “You’re a bad liar. Now tell me.” You speak softly, thinking it may be something you did. After a second, he realizes that he needs to speak what’s on his mind. It wasn’t going to do either of you any good if he just stayed quiet about it. “Please don’t be mad…” he says quickly. You raise an eyebrow at him-- quite the funny sight if he wasn't a little scared.

you move a little bit off of him, still staying close to give him room to breath, straightening out your shirt. “But it was me.” You looked confused. God why did you have to look to cute when you’re confused. It was really messing his apology speech up. “I’m sorry but it was be who made that Wi-Fi you’re always talking about. It tried— you won’t believe how much I tired to get it off but it won’t let me.” His constant rambling turns into background noise for you. He was the one who did that? All this time he was the one who made you worried that you might get evicted because of noise complaints? “Now, I didn’t completely mean it in a bad way! It’s just, well, i-I hear you?” Why was that a question? Either he did hear you and he liked it like how you wanted, or all this time he’d been putting on headphones and canceling your noise for him out. Shit. Did this have anything to do with our nice he was to you? You felt like you were dreaming. Was the serious? He couldn't have, right? I mean, it wasn't like you were particularly hurt, contrary to popular belief because the guy was still rambling on in front of you. You had to grasp his arm tightly to get him to stop. "huh?" He wonders aloud. "Listen, I have no fucking idea why you'd do that, but I don't hate you for it." You start to laugh,

"In fact, it's even kinda funny." His eyes are questioning, inquisitive, wondering if you really mean what you say. "I was pretty drunk... Not like thats an excuse." He said, still sensing how you must've still felt a little miffed. "I think its my time to ask you whats the matter." He puts a hand on your thigh, trying and succeeding in being comforting to you, when a not so comforting silence falls over the two of you. "...None of this was for some sort of compensation, right?" You ask, feeling your stomach sink, not with the anticipation of what would come after his feverish kisses to your hot skin, but now because... what if he couldn't answer that? What if it took him a minute? That was how you'd know this whole thing wasn't a rooze-- a plan to make you think that it wasn't him. In your heart you knew he wouldn't. As little as youve known him and as much as he was a drama queen, Minghao couldn't do something like that. Not to you, not to anybody.

Y/N!" He genuinely sounded hurt by the even mere suggestion. Then, realizing that, well, he didn't have the right words at the time and that, even if he did words alone might not do much. He gets up with a rush. "Wait, here." He nearly runs out the door, almost forgetting his shirt. "Hao--" You chuckle. Why does he seem so excited ? You wonder. But, just like with everything, he was a wonder. He peeks his head back into the room, reaching for his clothes with a shy smile up at you. His whole face seems to brighten. The last thing you hear is the faint clicking of his belt as he hurries out the bedroom door. He rushes back in the same way he came. But now holding a letter. "I wanted to give you this earlier. But this seems like a better time than anything." He explained, "with the date and everything... I just figured it would look stupid." You open the letter and start to read, it looked half finished. But the paragraph inside tells you all you need to know. In synopsis: he views as someone very special in his life. He cherishes you to the ends of the earth. And with what he's written down, it only solidifies how he'd never do anything to hurt you. Your head starts to turn up before you're even done reading. "Listen I was never that concerned--" "Just like old times--" you both say at the same time. "Sorry, I've been thinking about saying that since I started writing it." He mentions. "I thought so." You said. God, how do I know you so well. He knows he's written something else, but he also know sees you haven't read it yet. He doesn;t say anything, though, preferring to leave you to find it on your own when you're ready. He gestures to you like; and you were saying? "Hao," A feel good shiver runs up his spine at the nickname, "I never was that concerned with it. Sure, it stung a little to know that someone complaining about my apartment." He starts to say something, but you cut him off.

"And I know you're sorry. And I've heard horror stories about your wifi provider before." He smiles at you, beath calming down, not sounding like he's run a race as a second ago. He looks unreal. Other worldly, even. So fucking beautiful. You can't think of another word to describe him. Every single one you've tried seems to be a little off. You werent expecting such an actual explanation. And he didnt just leave it at: "Well, I was drunk so you can't blame me." His actually made sense, too. And, from his track record, and even from today. You could tell he was telling you the truth. One look into those deep brown eyes and you knew that if he had the power to he wouldve long changed it. And if he wasn't drunk he wouldn't have made it. "But there's one thing I don't know... I knew you were drunk, but, anything you'd like to tell me that spurred this on?" You sit there, pulling his body towards yours, starting to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. It was on backwards. He shivers as your fingers graze his heaving stomach. "Yeah." HE says simply, "But not how you think!" You chuckle. "What?" You question, "You don't mind the loud music? So... is there, anything else?" You say it like there could be anything in the world that caused him to make a jab at how "loud your apartment is." "Your noise." HE looks into your eyes, referencing how you'd make yourself cum every night. So close but way to far away from him. He wanted to start rambling about how he doesn't mean tot hear it... but, it looked like, but your smirk you wanted him to. You wanted him to get riled up and desperate for hearing you in person. And thats just what he was. "I'm glad you've finally said something about that. Looks like I've accomplished what I wanted for the year." You breath out a laugh.

So he has unsent letters just like you? You think back to your drawer of your nightstand or the shoebox by your desk. There lay, dormant and gathering dust, all unsent letters. Letter deemed a little too early in the friendship to send, letters describing dreams or thoughts youve had of him where he's been gripping your hips as you rock on hid dick, him begging you for release as you chase your own orgasm, even one letter asking him a stupid question about some show you bother watched, you remembered the answer soon after and diced to start a new one on a fresh sheet on paper. But you still kept it and held onto it like it was a precious gem. Your fingers stop their teasing movements the waistline of his pants and tell him to wait there, same thing he told you. You come back with letters, you more than him. His eyes tell you he's interested. But also: "hold on, you too?" He reads them and smile each time he turns to another. Making little remarks and comments here and there. "You know, there's something else in mine as well." He says, flipping to one of the last ones-- the ones with detail after detail of your conscious when it came to him. About how you wanted to have him and what you wanted him to do to you in your bed. Or his, it didn't really matter as long as it was with you. "Fine. Read the rest of mine though." You say, wanting, no, needing him to know what you thought of him when he wasn't beside you. You eyes flicker down to the arrow to the font of the letter in your lap. You flip it around to see his number, clear as day, staring at you in your face. (With a little note that says: how come we never did this before?) and a little, delicate sketch of the first flower pressing he'd ever given to you whine you mentioned something about them neither of you can really remember. You pressed the note onto your thighs, smoothing it down.

"You know i never minded when you sent me pressings, right?" There was noting to make you think he was about to ask, but something told you it was in the back of his mind. He nods, barely listening as he read the letter about the dream you had about fucking him like both of your lives depend on it.

And with the growing need on your pants it sure felt like it did.-- You call his name a couple times but to no avail. “come back down to earth, angel. I’m not done with you yet” you climb back onto his lap

A second later his lips are on yours. "Fuck," He whines, "You really wanna do all that to me?" He doesn’t sound repulsed at all, he now craves the thought, desire pools in his stomach for him to feel you. All of you. Wrapped around him, bouncing on his cock like how you described. He leans on top of you, making you push down into his plush bed, his mouth more eager than the first two times. You didn't; think that was even possible. You pull away, him left chasing the feeling of your lips on his. It felt so god he'd be happy if he died there. "Call them to cancel?" You beam. A moment after he sends them a quick apologetic text, here he is, grinding into your thighs, trying to fuck himself on the pillowy flesh you so lovingly provide for him. “what is it angel? You wanna be inside me?” You ask him, smiling to yourself as he nods, gulping. Your lips are ghosting over his as you slide down on him. His fingers are inside of you and making you cum in an instant when you drop your pants. Curling and pumping just how you said he did so in your dream. And the instant his cock has sprung out of his pants, ready and waiting for you, you're starting to move in a way that makes you feel like heaven is in your grasp as he swallows your moans with a kiss.

“G-god I—“ his words are cut short as he bucks his hips up into you. The stretch you feel inside your cunt feels fucking amazing. Noting like ever before. lips hovering against his once more as you start slow movements on him, the force of them still making you move from his mouth to his eyes. Slower, now but deep as ever. HE runs his hand up your back, his brain too foggy to think to take off your shirt fully like his-- to match him, fully naked in his bed. It's something he's been dreaming about ever since he first heard you moaning from the wall behind him. even though the condom he can feel every inch of you. You’re so warm and wet and so fucking tight and slippery-- the way he glides in and out of you, always drawing pleasured sounds from the both of you drives him so crazy he can barely take his eyes off of his cock disappearing into your pretty pussy over and over again. fascinated by how a ring of your slick starts to form around his cock, sticky and thick. He wants noting more than to see you lick it off of him. Or for him to get a taste. You fuck yourself on him, not like he wants anything else. He rubs circles on your back, your thighs bare as he grips onto them to ground himself. Your hands fault against his chest for leverage, you seem to never tire of the delicious feeling of him. "What're you sorry for?" You ask him, leaning down to his earlobe and nibbling it. Almost as a reminder of how stupid it all is, you chuckle at his inability to speak when you squeeze his cock particularly tight.

The thought had long done turned into a desire, and you couldn’t have imagined a better action for you two to take.

End~

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Magic City (2d x autistic transboy reader)

Morning after part 2

Start from the beginning

"Anyway, not that I don't enjoy your company but don't you have somewhere to be?" 

My eyes go wide. "Uhh yeah I should go home". I begin to stand up by y/n stops me.

"Stuart your shoes are untied" 

"Fuck uhh"

"..Do you need someone to tie them?" 

"How did you know?"

She sits me back down then gets on one knee and starts to tie them. "You told me last night Murdoc would tie them. You forget how to sometimes, which is understandable you got hit with a car".  

I'm baffled and don't know what to say besides stuttering, "I-I uh told you th-that much?". Not so charming on my part. I mentally slap myself for saying it.  God,Murdoc is right, I am an idiot.

"You told me a lot mate, but dont beat yourself up about it. I still think you're cool", she says tying the last knot and standing up in front of me.

"Thank you", I look down at my shoes she just tied and start to tear up. It made me think of Murdoc and how I miss him. The more I think about it the more tears run down my cheeks. No no, stop it you don't miss him. I feel her pull my head to her stomach and run her fingers through my hair.

"You're okay, please don't cry", she says in a gentle hushed voice. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around her. She continues to run her fingers through my hair to soothe me. "Feel better? or I mean Feel Good? heh, im sorry bad timing". 

I can't help but chuckle at her terrible joke as I let go of her. "It's fine luv. Yes I do feel good. I feel good Inc. actually. You know that's the name of the song not just feel good"

"Are you calling me a fake fan?" 

I look at her confused. "You can't be a fan, you're a human not something with blades that cools people down. Even so you can't be fake"

She laughs a little. "No, I mean a fan as in a fan of the band". 

My face flusters up realizing my stupid mistake. "Oh...yeah, sorry"

She laughs. "Its okay, its kinda cute. In a weird sort of way, I mean the circumstances was awful and im sure its not fun for you..eh I'll stop talking". 

"Im glad you like to ramble too," I smile up at her as reassurance. 

She nods. "Umm I'll see you later then?". 

"Oh right", I stand up from my chair then wave her goodbye before heading out the door. 

Two weeks later

9:00 pm finally rolls around. I have on a plain grey t-shirt with faded jeans and black boots. If (y/n) can see me while I'm ugly crying and drunk then this should be fine. I grab my phone before walking to the front room.

Noodle is sitting on the couch and looks up from her book. "Going back Toochi?"

I stop at the door to look at her. "Uh, yeah I am".

"You've been going back every night and Ace said you met someone. When are we going to meet her?" she teases with a smile. 

"Oh uhhh I don't know see ya later Noodle!" I say before rushing out the door. It's not like we're dating or anything. I don't even like her I mean yeah she's really nice, comforting, a good listener, really pretty, beautiful, soft....

Okay maybe I like her a little bit.

I brush the thought off as I walk into Magic City. I'm greeted with bopping music with pink and red lights blinding me. 

I walk up to the manager and ask for (y/n).

" Yes, follow me she'll be with you in just a moment," she tells me as she leads me to a booth. As we're walking I spot (y/n) with a client. It is painfully obvious that she's flirting. I know it's her job so I'm not bent out of shape about it. Still it stings. 

"Here you go, just sit tight" she said before leaving me alone in the red velvet booth. 

I sit down and wait for (y/n).

About 10 minutes later she comes in and upon seeing my face she brightens up. She sits on my lap like she did before. 

"You will not believe the night I've had". She starts. "People kept touching me even though you're not supposed to. It wasn't anything too bad but it gets annoying not to mention people asking about dates and ugghhh," she groans.

"Sounds like you've had a rough day luv," I reply.

"Tell me about it, so how was your day?"

"Eh we 'ave our tour dates scheduled we're going around the world"

"Ohh sounds fun, oh I guess you'll be gone a while huh?" she said her voice kinda sad at the last part. 

"Well we won't be leaving for a while and I have a question"

"oh? What's that?'

"Well just to add to your ever growing list of men that have asked you out, I'd like to add my name to the list and ask if you wanted to go on a date with me?"

[antigoneidk]

can't help falling in love|t.h.

summary: when words can't speak enough, songs will do

pairing: tom holland × reader

words: 2k

a/n: well I think we all fell in love with this Tom right? I mean who wouldn't??? Wish more of that content cause I'm a sucker for him..

"Over yours tonight?"

"Yes. Bring your guitar too."

"We're about to have fun tonight."

"As we always do!"

And when it was just the two of you, you always had a great time. The chemistry that had been developed between you and Tom was indescribable and everyone seemed jealous of what you have created. It was amazing how much two people can connect, two different souls in such a little period.

You loved your little secret "rendezvous" as you liked to call them. He'd come to your place, or you'd go to his, sip wine and talk for hours and hours about everything. From how the world was created, to how your nail broke, or the way some theories of very famous scientists may be wrong, or how his brothers crashed his car without him knowing, even analyze the way social media work, or begging him to show you videos of the set for his upcoming film. Maybe you'd complain about how early you have to wake up the next day and he'd make fun of you before he realizes that he's going to wake up as early as you. And you'd beg him to stay, or the opposite. 

And after that, you'd grab your guitars and play until you fall asleep on the couch.

He looked so handsome concentrated on not losing any chord, not ruin the melody. His brown eyes focusing on the strings, his fingers following the sound in his mind, his body relaxed, and his ears longing for your voice.

How he adored listening to your angelic voice. He couldn't explain the way his heart melted with the sweet sound of yours, his stomach filling with butterflies, his mind following the heart on this chaotic, exciting, endless road. He didn't know if he was in love or not. It was confusing inside his head. He never knew what falling in love means, the symptoms are different from one person to another. But he was only looking forward to the time he'd have to spend with you, the feeling of enthusiasm getting stronger as the day went by. He knew that you were the only one that could bring the peace he searched for, it was you that brought those feelings that he wanted to see for himself. He admitted once that he wished you'd be more than just his close friend to himself. Yet, the fear of losing you was massive and your presence in his life was more important than his feelings. So the only way was to push them to the side.

You knocked on his doorbell and fixed your guitar on your shoulder while waiting for the door to open. You looked down at your shoes noticing how dirty they got but as you were about to somehow clean them with your hand, you heard the door open and your eyes met his.

"Hi," you said cheerfully leaving the guitar to your side and wrapping your hands around his shoulder. His familiar scent came to your nose, your eyes closing for a moment enjoying his smell, but also the sensation of his arms tightening around your waist.

"Hey, beautiful" he mumbled softly and let go of you. "How are you?" he asked grabbing your guitar and closing the door behind you. 

"Now that I am here I'm so much better" you confessed. "Oh, you didn't wait for me to help"  you complained seeing that everything was already prepared for you.

"Why would I need help?" he asked.

"Because...I am your friend and you don't have to do all of these for me"

"But what happens if I want to do all of these for you?"

You stared back at him without any answer to his question. You tried to read his face, understand if he was joking or not. If he was playing with your feelings or if he was just completely clueless. His puppy eyes nearly convincing your heart that everything was true, your mind shouting to not believe this. It was a battle happening right in front of you, however, you stood still and did nothing.

"I'm pretty sure you do not so stop saying things you don't mean and let's go drink"

____________________

"But she fell in love with him Tom. She was happier than ever. She was willing to be there for him  for the rest of her life, she stood by his side through everything, his madness, his anger, his sadness, his happiness-"

"He was suffering y/n-"

"If he loved her enough-"

"Do you know how is it feel to be stuck on a chair and not move even a single finger? No matter how big your love is for someone, sometimes you're losing the fight" Tom sipped his last drop of wine and looked back at you.

"If we were in this position, would you die just like him? Even if you loved me more than anything?" you questioned.

"I seriously have no idea y/n"

"I'd live for you Tom" normally you wouldn't admit this, the wine gave you the courage though to do so. "If I was William in that stupid chair, I would want to live with you for the rest of eternity" you glanced at him meaning every word you just said. Your love for him was like no other and for sure knew that you were more than willing to move every mountain to be with him forever.

"Stop saying things you don't mean y/n" he copied your words and grabbed your guitar from the floor, unsure if he should play it cool or say something more.

"You are not romantic babe" you played it off resting your hand on the couch and placing your head at the top of it while waiting for Tom to tune the guitar. "Also I was thinking of something today while I was working"

"You were thinking again?" he asked sarcastically.

"You piece of...give me that" you laughed and took the guitar in your hands."So, as I was saying, I was thinking that maybe today you should sing with me"

"Are you drunk?" Tom asked you disagreeing already with the idea you had in mind.

"What?"

"You know that I can't sing and even if it wasn't for that I would never sing with you"

"Why?" it felt kinda offending hearing those words as you didn't know why he felt that way.

"You have the voice of an angel y/n. I'm never gonna sing with you 'cause you'll hear how bad I sound and we don't want this trust me" he pulled his guitar close to him and smiled in your direction.

"I heard you singing before and you sound incredible so cut the excuses and follow me okay?" you didn't wait for any of his complaints. You started playing the song you imagined singing with him all day. The first reason being the fact that it was an easy song to play and sing. The second reason was the lyrics of it.

"Wise men say

Only fools rush in.." you began singing.

"Come on Tom..but I can't help falling in love with you" you continued hearing only whispers.

"Shall I stay?

Would it be a sin... I can't hear you

If I can't help falling in love with you"

Tom gained some courage and started singing louder. He didn't want to be unable to hear you, it was the thing his heart desired. But your expression, your eyes wide open begging him to join you. He could resist to them ever.

And the lyrics.

"Like a river flows

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be.."

You both stared at each other as you kept going. It felt more than just a song, more than just a famous melody. Those were words that none of you had the strength to say, not even dared to try. The fear of loss, the shyness of the last minute. You were saying to yourself that his teasing was just for fun, nothing more. Tom was doing the same. It wasn't complicated at all, but both your minds trapped in this maze, wouldn't detect the way out that was right in front of your eyes.

"Take my hand, 

Take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you..

For I can't help falling in love with you" 

You bit your lip and positioned the guitar to your legs keeping eye contact with him. The silence in the room was comforting, calming.  It definitely could say more than words.

Fuck it.

"I wish I could kiss you right now" Tom whispered under his breath, loud enough for you to listen. It was shocking. You blinked quite a few times doubtfully, assured that this was only a prank. But he was there looking at you, waiting for a reply. You were confused and he saw it too. His palms started sweating and his heartbeat increased in the blink of an eye. The voice inside him would stop yelling 'you screwed it' and his feeling got hurt quickly. He was ready to listen to you making fun of him, the plan that would break his heart in two. But your silence was currently the only thing he didn't want to. He searched for any signal on your face, even your body language but you were standing still as time had stopped.

"Then do it" 

He didn't hesitate for long. He was dreaming after all. Because this wasn't the reality he lived for sure. 

Fireworks, fireworks, fireworks.

He swore he heard them. The moment his lips captured yours he could hear those fireworks in his heart and ears. Bells were ringing and angels singing. Damn, I'm kissing one of them he thought. His right hand touched your neck deepening the kiss he was yearning for. Your lips in sync warm against his skin. His tongue over yours exploring your taste. Your perfume fueling his nose and brain, the butterflies dancing in their music now. 

It was magical. The goosebumps all over your skin making it even more real. Heart about to explode, all of the happiness hitting throughout your body. It was happening and still, it seemed like a fantasy. You slowly touched his chest and moved upwards to his shoulders making sure that you were really touching him and not any of your pillows. The sensation of his lips in yours was so much better than your imagination. Perfectly made for kissing you and only you.

You broke the kiss and the brightest smile he ever saw was on your lips. The lips HE was kissing.

"Y/n you have no idea how bad I wanted this to happen" he touched your forehead and with his thumb started to draw small circles. A tear rolled from your eye and dropped to his hand.

"Why did it take you so long?" you asked and closed your eyes feeling his breath hitting the skin of your face and hands.

"Baby don't cry. Please" he murmured.

"I'm just happy you know. It's no longer a fantasy or a dream. It's real" you admitted with your shaky breaths making your work hard. But you couldn't care less at that moment.

"I was afraid of losing you y/n. What if you didn't feel the same way? How was I supposed to know?"

"You wouldn't lose me okay? I'm feeling the same way Tom" you carefully brought your fingers at the top of his lips and touched them as you dreamed to. "I'm yours. I'll always be yours."

**the movie mentioned was me before you

**the song they were singing was can't help falling in love by Elvis Presley

Thank you for reading❤

[claggorstuff]

This is a request from flipcarson, I loved the idea btw!

Claggor gets his foot stuck in the gutter along the canal, some enforcers laugh and he's not too happy about it.

I was rushing behind Mylo and vi, trying to keep up.. after all they are super fast and it's not easy when I'm unfamiliar with these parts of the undercity, we ran along the canal and my foot slipped, I tried to catch myself but heard a loud *CLANG!* and nearly fell into the toxic water, full of waste, vi and Mylo weren't looking back, and honestly. Neither would i if I was them... But they didn't notice the sound either. So it was just me, and the approaching enforcers, as I tried to rip my foot away. "Where the hell'd they-... Jim. You wouldn't believe what I'm seeing. One of the brats.." he snickered. "Got STUCK!" he burst out laughing as the enforcer behind started cackling, I felt helpless. Weak. How'd I get stuck so easy? This is so. So. Stupid. Tears welled as I held them back, I feel like such an idiot. What will Vander say? Mylo won't let me live it down. Vi's gonna be so upset, and powder I'm sure won't be told. The enforcer laughed and made jokes about the whole thing, as I watched the canal water flow, all the waste and trash flowing through the lower gutter, thank god my foot wasnt there, and then I noticed it. The adrenaline from the running had died down and I felt it too, a sharp. SHARP. Pain... I saw the blood trickling from my ankle noticing, shit. It must've happened when my foot got caught. The enforcers laughed more as I yelped at the pain, it took them an hour to leave me alone finally, and when they did, I couldn't hold back the tears, they started flowing, faster than the rapids of the lower river. Why didn't Mylo and vi turn back? How could they have not found me yet. They surely noticed no more footsteps behind them. They surely noticed no more yelling to catch us... Is this some kinda cruel joke they're playing on me? Some kind of punishment for getting stuck? How did it come to this. I laid back knee bent over the ledge, still crying tears flowing to the back of my head as drunk people just passed by unaware of my presence, I cried and cried and cried until I noticed how dark it really was. the clouds covering the nights sky, if I was stuck in piltover it wouldn't be filled with smog and dirt. The clouds would be light and fluffy, I wouldn't be stuck even, I'd be fine, no enforcers would chase me If I was a piltover kid... Or.. maybe I was, maybe before my parents were gone I was from piltover, I was too young. I can't even remember mom's face. And now I'm stuck, left for dead, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic but.. still. I just wanna go home and sleep in the bunk me and Mylo share, maybe even relax a bit before the enforcers search the place, patch up my wound, draw with powder to keep her occupied. Home. I wanna go home.. why can't I just go home.. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.. dreaming about the safety of the last drop, a tight hug from powder or Vander, a slap over the back of the head from Mylo, a scolding from vi. I don't care if those other 2 are bothersome.. its just how I like it at home. It's perfect how it is. I wake up to a smack to the face, I see her red hair and blue eyes glaring down at me "CLAGGOR! WAKE. UP!" I shoot awake to see Vander prying my leg out of the gutter as Mylo trys to pry the gutter itself, Vander of course is the one that succeeds and as soon as he does, I let out a scream loud enough to wake up the council. They all looked down at the newly re-opened wound, up at my tear stained face, down at the wound, and back up at me. Vander helped me stand and they took me home. My wound was patched up and they decided it was best I just rest for the day. Thank god I didn't have to make some errand runs, or let.. nevermind. For now I should just get some good sleep

[mandoalorian]

Perfect To Me [Maxwell Lord x Reader]

Author's note: This is so self indulgent. I've been having a bad night and this just, kinda happened. I have a really bad relationship with my body image n stuff and so writing this sorta helped me vent out my feelings. Maxwell is like my fave character and I love him so much so ofcourseeee I wrote it with him. Anyways I want you to know that your favourite character loves you so much even when you feel like you're not worth it or in the moments you don't love yourself. I mean it, they love you.

Warnings: body dysmorphia, disordered thinking of a self conscious reader. And also. A little self conscious Maxwell.

Word count: 2.2k

Rating: PG-13

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gif by @santigarcia

You hated it. You hated everything about it. You didn't understand, when you had tried it on in the store just a few hours ago, you loved it. It fit you beautifully. But now, it wasn't the same. It was like something had drastically changed but you couldn't place your finger on what exactly it was. 

"Honey we're going to be late!" you heard Maxwell call from downstairs. Anxiety filled your body knowing that you had to be at the gala in— you checked the time— twenty minutes. "The carpool is waiting!" he called again. You could hear the stress in his voice. He hated being late, especially for events.

"Just a minute!" you shouted back but the words left your lips as a croak, breaking at the end. You scrunched your nose up in disdain and hoped that Maxwell hadn't heard the change in your voice.

You couldn't do this; your blood running cold as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You wanted to rip the dress off, climb under the blankets of your enormous bed and cry. You looked disgusting, embarassing… you didn't look like someone who should be dating Maxwell Lord. Tears pricked your eyes as you imagined the way everyone would be looking at you if you attended the gala wearing that monstrosity. You believed that the dress would be beautiful on every single other person; just not you.

You didn't know what to do. Quickly, you ran to your walk in closet and angrily began to pull out all the dresses that had been neatly organised and hung up. They fell in messy pools on the floor. You wanted to scream in anger, desperately trying to find a dress you could quickly change into. The anxiety only got worse when you could hear Maxwell downstairs making small talk with his driver. You knew they were waiting for you in the lobby. You didn't have time.

You picked up a red number that you had wore last year at the Christmas office party. You tried to weigh up if it would be appropriate for tonight's events, holding it against your body. You threw it to one side, screaming in frustration when you decided it probably wouldn't fit you anymore. You couldn't go. You'd embarrass yourself, and you'd embarrass Maxwell, and his company. 

You clutched onto the edges of your dresser, knuckles turning white as you forced yourself to look at your appearance in the mirror. The kohl black eyeliner was smudged from your tears and your foundation had begun to separate from the anxious sweat you had broken into. He would just have to leave without you.

"I'll go check on her," you heard Maxwell tell the driver. "I'm sure she's just deciding on a pair of shoes." you thought his voice sounded apologetic. You imagined him marching into your shared bedroom, angry that you were taking so long. You imagined his face burning with red rage when he saw you sitting on the edge of his bed, a complete and utter mess. Maybe you deserved it. You heard his footsteps get louder and louder as he went up the stairs and you figured there wasn't anything you could do now. Thoughts raced your mind as you wondered how you could possibly explain this to him.

"Sweetheart, I know what you say about being fashionably late but—” Maxwell stopped and froze up when he entered the bedroom, his eyes blinking between you and the pile of your dresses on the floor. You watched him, feeling ashamed, as his appearance turned from confused to concerned.

He slowly walked further into the bedroom, looking around. He glanced over all your cosmetics and hair products that were scattered across the dresser and examined the mountain pile of clothes on the floor, trailing from the closet to where you were sitting. He moved the red dress you had considered from the bed and sat next to you in silence.

Maxwell turned to face you, but you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. He placed a finger under your chin and turned your head so he could get a good look of your face. He swiped his thumb under your eye, trying to clean up your messy eyeliner, and cupped your cheek. The familiar coolness of his rings pressed against your skin eased you slightly, but you still felt an anxiety. He eventually spoke.

"Darling… what happened?" his voice was gentle and cautious. You tried to swallow the lump that had formed in your throat and looked down at the carpeted floor. You didn't answer him. He waited a few moments, and then he said your name.

"I made a mess." you gulped, looking around the bedroom. His gaze followed your eyes and he sighed.

"I can see that," he shrugged. "But I mean… you've been crying?" You nodded, feeling your cheeks heat up in shame. "Why?" he asked.

You sniffed. You could think of a thousand excuses less embarrassing than the truth. But he was your boyfriend, and this was a big problem in your life. You figured that he should know what was really going on with you. It was still scary. He was Maxwell Lord— feared by everyone. And there was a reason for that. While he had shown you nothing but love and care during the course of the relationship, you imagined the worst. You imagined him laughing at you or belittling you. Something you've had to deal with from plenty of people before. You rubbed your sore and glossy eyes before taking a deep breath.

"I hate the way this dress looks on me." you said, and Maxwell frowned, crinkles forming in between your eyebrows.

"I don't understand." there was an air of bewilderment in his voice, like he couldn't comprehend what you were telling him. It was a simple fact to you, but your opinion seemed lost on him.

Feeling frustrated, you stood up and flattened the dress down, standing before him. His jaw dropped slightly and his eyes widened as he drunk in the sight of you. The dress fit your body perfectly. He could swear that it was made for you and only you.

"If I go to the gala dressed like this, I'll embarrass you," you sniffed, scrunching up your face in disgust and immediately feeling even more self conscious as you stood in front of your boyfriend. "People will state, and laugh. They will write about me in the tabloids and-"

"Write about how beautiful you look in that dress? Damn sure." Maxwell mumbled, reaching out and taking your hand. "You're wrong. You're so wrong." he pulled you close to him and settled his hands on your waist as he continued to admire you.

"Please don't touch me," you shook your head, pushing his hands away from you. "I feel disgusting. I look disgusting. I am disgusting. Max… you should know that this isn't just a one off thing. I feel like this often, and I don't know why."

"You were obsessed with the dress when you tried it on for me earlier." Maxwell raised an eyebrow, brushing his lower lip with his finger as he processed what was going on.

"I know. I loved it. But now? I hate it. I'm sorry, you probably think this is so stupid."

Maxwell stood up and shook his head quickly. "No! No. Don't apologise. Don't ever apologise, okay? You're not stupid. I understand. I understand completely." 

"No, you don't." you sighed, holding your face in your palms. Maxwell stiffened up and shuffled uncomfortably. You pulled your face away from your hands and pulled on his wrist, reading the time on his gold wristwatch. "Max, just go. This is your big event and you don't want to be late." 

"No." he told you, loosening his bowtie and shuffling out of his suit jacket. He threw it to the floor, amongst the pile of your dresses. He kicked off his Armani shoes and folded his arms over his chest.

"If this is you being stubborn because you're upset with me for not getting dressed…" you trailed off and Maxwell looked at you. He looked hurt that you had made such a suggestion.

"You really don't think I understand how you feel?" He quizzed, and you didn't reply. He was confident, he exuded charm and charisma. He was a television star, he had done speeches in the White House and spoken to the most influential people in the world. You looked at him, waiting for him to continue. He stuck a finger into his belly. "I hate this."

You gulped. "Your tummy?"

He nodded. "I never used to have a tummy… when I was younger, I mean," he revealed, although it meant nothing to you. "But in recent years, you know. I drink a little more, have more steak dinners and don't exercise. So…"

"You're in great shape," you spluttered in disbelief. "And I love your tummy."

"Wouldn't you rather I had an eight pack?" he asked and the thought made you burst into a fit of giggles. The smile he made when he saw that he had made you laugh was unmatched.

"No, not at all!" you chuckled, nudging him playfully.

"So, I do understand," he told you. "I say I hate my tummy, you say you love it. You say you hate the way that dress fits you, and I say it's the most beautiful thing I've seen you in. Although, I think you get more beautiful everyday," he blushed and you beamed at his kind words. It was rare Maxwell would tell you something like that. "I wish you could see yourself the way I saw you. But your feelings? I'm so glad you told me. We can get through it together. I promise." he reached back to hold your hand and gave you a comforting squeeze.

"I still don't want to go to the gala." you bit your lip and he nodded understandably.

Maxwell leaned over to the phone that was on his bedside table and called down to the lobby where his driver was waiting for you both. He cleared his throat. "Yes, it's Maxwell. Take the night off. Myself and Y/N have decided we will not be attending the gala tonight."

"But sir-" the driver began and Maxwell abruptly cut him off.

"Do I pay you to question me? Hurry along now." He said before putting the phone back down on the hook. He sighed before turning back to you and smiling.

"What- what do you mean you're not attending the gala? Max, it's your gala. You have to go." 

"You think I could stand schmoozing with those slimy CEOs without you by my side? I couldn't be productive knowing that my beautiful girlfriend was at home, alone, probably watching some sad movie when her boyfriend should be with her and comforting her."

Your eyes were bright and your lips curled into a grin at his sentiment. You swung your hands around him and cuddled him tight, taking in the scent of his luxury fragrance and resting your head into his soft shirt. "I love you Maxie." you whispered, and he slung an arm around you, pushing you further into his lap.

"I love you too darling," he confessed, pressing a kiss onto the top of your head. "Cmon, let's get you out of your dress and into some cozy pyjamas."

You smiled, tugging on the collar of his shirt and pulling him into another kiss, this time on the lips. It was soft and brisk yet passionate. He pulled away slowly and you took in his dark lust blown eyes. "I wanna wear your shirt," you whined, beginning to unbutton it.

"Okay." he replied simply, leaning back and letting you pull his white button up shirt from his body.

"I love your tummy." you reminded him and he smiled, crinkles forming in the corners of his eyes and a dimple in the left of his cheek.

"Dress off, shirt on." He told you and you nodded, getting up from the bed and getting changed. Maxwell unbuttoned his belt and pulled down his tailored pants, throwing them to the floor. He took off his socks and clambered under the bed sheets, his arms out, waiting for you to join him. "I love seeing you wear my shirt." he told you as you curled up into him.

You hummed in contentment as he played with your hair. He said your name, in an almost questioning tone.

"Yes?" you replied. 

"No matter what, you'll always be perfect to me."

Permanent taglist (let me know if you wish to be added!): @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal

[roguerogerss]

Sorry is a Sorry Word

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Plot: Steve fucked up - bad. He doesn’t really know how, or if, he should say sorry, until Dustin gives him a pep talk.

W/C: 3.1k

A/N: Just now realising how long this is oops, sorry. My first Stranger Things fic! Finally. (watch this flop so hard lmao) Remember to like and reblog if you enjoy! It really helps me out. As always, requests are open and any and all feedback is appreciated <3

————

"Dustin, Please, just leave me alone." She lay back on her bed, tears streaming down her face and hair amiss from where she'd run her fingers through it. "I'm fine, I just...give me some time."

"But, we tell eachother everything." Her little brother sounded so small and defeated that it almost broke her heart in two. She could hear him leaning his back against the door, the back of his head thumping dully against the wood a second later. "I feel like we're drifting apart. You don't talk to me anymore."

"Dustin-"

"No, it's okay. Don't worry." Dustin cleared the remnants of his upset from his throat, "We can talk later. I get that you need time."

And with that, he'd left. She could hear his muffled footsteps on the carpeted floor of the hallway, walking away from her bedroom and back to his own. She knew that she wanted to talk to him and vent about all of the happenings of the day, but she couldn't bring herself to let her walls down in front of anyone about her current situation just yet.

It was Steve. And it was bad.

They'd been together for a year and ten months. He'd been there for her through thick and thin. Whenever their mom went MIA, something that happened more often than not, during the days and weeks and months that Y/N was left to take care of her thirteen year old brother on her own with no notice whatsoever, Steve was there. And he'd take Dustin out to the cinema, give him free ice cream, play Dungeons and Dragons with him and his friends - even though Steve had no idea how to play Dungeons and Dragons. He'd sleep over, make her feel like she wasn't alone. It filled her with pride to see him taking Dustin under his wing, more like a dad than even an older brother.

When they lost Hopper, who'd become more of a parental figure than she and Dustin's mom was to her, he was standing by her side at the funeral, hand grasping her own smaller one with force and squeezing it every so often, just to remind her that he was there. He was there after the funeral, too, when they went to the cabin and went through Hopper's things. He was there when she found the birthday present that Hopper had bought for her, a necklace with, 'you're pretty cool, kid', engraved on it. Hopper's way of saying that he loved her. It came with a letter, one that she cried so hard while reading that she couldn't see the words on the page.

The point was, that Steve had been there through everything. And now that they'd had a huge argument over - of all things - Nancy Wheeler, she was unsure of whether or not she'd have Steve to lean on anymore.

It wasn't so much a stupid argument as it was a stupid mistake on Steve's end. He even admitted to himself that what he'd done was more than a dick move. Tina was having a party, a big one, for old time's sake. Y/N wasn't invited, having been socially considered as 'uncool' while in High School, while Steve was invited. He said that it wasn't a big deal, it didn't matter, he wouldn't go.

Except that it was a big deal, it did matter, and, well, he did go.

He'd gotten really drunk, so drunk, in fact, that he had no recollection of the night at all and managed to stumble to Y/N's front door at five in the morning.

He'd told her that he went to the party, that he was sorry. She'd been mad, but she was so tired that she said she'd deal with it in the morning and told Steve to sleep it off on the sofa. Before going to sleep, however, Steve had told Y/N that he 'thought he might've kissed Nancy' that night.

They'd argued about it the next day. She'd dropped him off at home, neither of them speaking at all in the car, and they'd screamed at eachother in Steve's living room. Little did either of them know, Steve hadn't actually kissed Nancy, he was just so drunk that he made himself believe that he had. And then, Y/N told Steve that they were done, and he'd said 'fine', and she'd left and cried in her car for an hour.

And now, she was here. Crying on her bed, little brother probably thinking that one of her friends had died or something.

She hated herself for blowing up and flying off the handle and literally breaking up with Steve. Steve, on the other hand, hated himself for even going to the party, hated himself for - possibly - kissing Nancy, hated himself for going to Y/N's front door and waking her up so early in the morning.

In the grand scheme of things, Steve Harrington had been an asshole. And he was all too aware of it.

It had been around half an hour since she got home when Dustin knocked on the door again. This time, she'd managed to calm down enough to allow him to come inside. She looked horrifying, hair messed up, tear stained face, cuddling a pillow and wearing one of Steve's shirts, but Dustin was her brother, he had no right to judge her.

The door swung open slowly, and Dustin was there, grinning and holding two pints of ice cream, spoons, and some movies. "Thought we could put a movie on and eat. And you can tell me about your problems and I promise I'll listen."

"Is the ice cream cookie dough?" Y/N asked, sniffling, and a watery smile crossed her face. Dustin laughed, happy to see his sister perking up at least a little bit, even if it was over ice cream, and turned the carton to reveal to her that it was, in fact, cookie dough.

"Only the best." He tossed one of the cartons and a spoon at her, and turned on the TV set that sat across from her bed. "Besides, I know it's the only one you'll eat when you're sad."

"You know me entirely too well." She hugged her knees to her chest and dug into her ice cream, relishing in the taste of it for a second, "Oh my God, I haven't had this in so long. And the Scoops cookie dough is so bad."

"Right? I know Steve thinks it's the best, but he is so wrong." Little did Dustin know, one mention of his name would make Y/N's meltdown begin all over again. Soon enough, she was crying hot tears into her ice cream, and she allowed Dustin to lay his head on her shoulder while she explained everything.

"Okay, I have to go somewhere." Dustin knew what he had to do, and Y/N's eyebrows furrowed as he got swiftly up from her bed. "I'll be like, maybe half an hour. But you can eat my ice cream if it starts to melt."

"Dustin! Don't leave me!"

"Watch the movie!"

And then he was gone, and she was by herself, with only some ice cream and E.T. to keep her company.

Meanwhile, Dustin had found Steve at work. He was insanely hungover - although, the headache and sickness had gone away thanks to Robin and her Tylenol, but the tiredness still remained - and reminded Dustin faintly of a particular zombie in Day of the Dead when he walked into Family Video to find him leaning on the counter. The grim look on his face wasn't so much because of the hangover, though, it was more to do with the fact that he and his girlfriend of nearly two years had broken up half an hour ago, and he'd been forced to go to work.

"If you're here to talk to Steve, I wouldn't. He nearly punched me when I asked him if he wanted Tylenol. And I'm a girl." Robin stopped Dustin at the front door, a serious look on her face, but he shrugged her off.

"It's fine. He won't do anything. Besides, I know what this whole thing's about. That's why I'm here." He tried to walk off again, but Robin grabbed his upper arm, tugging him back and making him elaborate.

"Is it Y/N? I think there was a fight between them or something. He’s never looked this rough.” Robin looked concerned, and she was. She’d never seen Steve so upset before. “He was crying when he came in.” She added.

Dustin shrugged, “Yeah, I’m gonna talk to him. He’ll be fine tomorrow.” He decided not to give Robin any more information on the situation in case Y/N or Steve would've gotten mad at him for it.

"Henderson, hey." Steve said quietly when he noticed that Dustin had entered the store. He looked like he'd been crying, and Robin was definitely right when she said he’d never looked rougher. "If you're here to hang out-"

"I'm not here to hang out, Steve. We have to talk." Dustin crossed his arms sternly over his chest, raising his eyebrows and nodding his head in the direction of the store room. Steve grumbled and complied, unlocking the door and ushering Dustin inside.

"You have to apologise."

"Apologise? Apologise for - what exactly are we talking about?" Steve rubbed a hand exhaustedly over his face, leaning against a sealed box of movies that he was supposed to have put away by now.

"You know what for, Steve. Y/N. You hurt her. Like, really badly. I don't think I've ever seen her so upset." Steve already wanted Dustin to stop, but he continued, really wanting him to get the message of just how hurt his sister was. "She cried in her room for half an hour before she even let me talk to her, and now she's at home by herself, probably crying some more because you went to a stupid party. I mean, seriously man, couldn't you just have stayed home? What was so important about it?"

Steve threw his head back and hid his face with his hands, wanting the floor to open up and swallow him whole. He knew that he'd been a dick, he knew that he'd hurt her, but, Jesus, knowing the details made his heart flip in his chest and his stomach hurt. He hated seeing Y/N upset at the best of times, nevermind when it was his fault.

"Yeah. Yeah, I should've just left it. Jeez, Dustin, I'm such an asshole."

"Yes. An asshole, you are. And what was that other shit? About you kissing Nancy?"

"I didn't kiss Nancy, okay? My drunk mind just kinda...made me believe that I did. I called her today just to confirm." Steve swallowed, suddenly having the nausea of his hangover coming back to him.

"Does Y/N know that?" Dustin had his arms crossed, back against the wall, looking unimpressed as Steve shook his head. "Seriously man? Don't you think that the first thing you should've done after finding out that you didn't actually cheat on your girlfriend, was tell your girlfriend that you didn't actually cheat on her?"

"My head's all over the place, Henderson. Cut me some slack, okay?"

"You have to come say sorry, you know that, right?"

"I will. I will, I promise. I finish in an hour, why don't you go home, I'll buy some flowers, take a shower and get changed, and I'll come chap on your door like none of this even happened." Steve had suddenly perked up, gesturing with his arms and almost getting excited to initiate his plan.

"Yeah. Sure. But it better be good, Harrington. You better make her happy."

Steve didn't even have time to respond before Dustin was running off, getting on his bike, and cycling back home to his sister. He promised himself internally that he'd do all it took to make her happy.

Y/N had finished her ice cream and Dustin's had started to melt by the time he got home. She hadn't cried any more, had been too focussed on the movie, and Dustin was relieved to see her laughing at something on the screen when he entered her bedroom.

"Hey." She smiled. "Your ice cream's melting, you'd better eat it."

Dustin smiled and bellyflopped onto her bed, sending her into a fit of laughter. They both laughed so hard, in fact, that they barely heard the doorbell ring, and Dustin almost got up to go and get it.

He stopped himself though, not wanting Steve to call him an idiot or something along those lines. "You should go. I have to eat my ice cream before it melts." He said sheepishly, sitting back down from where he'd jumped up. Y/N rolled her eyes and threw the pillow that she was holding at Dustin's face.

"Alright, make your sad sister get the door because you have to eat ice cream." She stood up even as she spoke, knowing that Dustin wasn't going to budge. "Nice one, asshole."

Y/N had left her bedroom before Dustin could retaliate, bounding down the stairs and realising that, if anyone saw her the way that she looked now, they'd probably never respect her again. The doorbell went again, and she sighed quietly at the lack of patience from whoever was on the other side.

She - stupidly - didn't even bother to look out of the window that stood next to the door to check who it was before opening it, and nearly closed it again when she realised who was standing there.

"Hey, woah, don't close the door yet!" It was Steve, his eyes widened from the possibility that he'd come all the way to her house so that she could slam the door in his face, holding white lilies and a box of chocolates, which was - in Y/N's opinion - the cheesiest apology ever. "Just...listen? For like, a minute."

She slowly let her hand slide off of the door knob, watching as Steve relaxed a significant amount even from seeing her do that. "A minute." She crossed her arms over her chest, chewing her cheek. "You have a minute."

"Okay, uh, yeah, okay." Steve began his rambling. "Listen, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have gone to that party, I know I shouldn't have gotten so drunk that I managed to convince myself that I kissed Nancy. Did I already say that I didn't actually kiss Nancy? I called her, and she said we didn't even speak. Bottom line is, I'm an asshole. I know that, and I hate myself for hurting you. Dustin told me how upset you were and I...I couldn't even comprehend the fact that I did that."

He paused, looking down at his feet and waiting for Y/N to say something. Something that didn't come, she simply stood, looking at and biting her fingernails, trying to figure out whether or not she should give in and forgive him or not, so he stopped waiting and spoke some more.

"I'm sorry. I love you. I love you so much. And I know that I fucked up, and I don't expect you to forgive me-"

"Steve." Y/N stopped him. He looked up at her, expecting that she'd look upset or annoyed, but she was smiling and shaking her head. "Come here."

"Seriously?" He already wished he hadn't said what he did before he'd even finished speaking. Seriously? What kind of thing to say was that? "I mean, you know-"

She was already hugging him before he could finish speaking. She knew that he'd ramble on for hours if he could, but she also knew that she already forgave him and didn't need to listen to his rambling. "It's okay. I forgive you."

"Oh, thank God. I thought I'd lost you, really, I did." He sighed into her hair, realising that he was probably ruining the bouquet of flowers with the way that he was crushing them against her back.

"Well, you were an asshole. You had every right to think you'd lost me." Steve had always loved her subtle sassiness, it was a habit that she often fell into unknowingly, but it made him chuckle.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I was an asshole."

She let go of him, finally, and stood back. He was wearing his light blue jeans, a black t-shirt and belt, with a blue jacket. It was an outfit that she'd seen him in before, quite a few times, but he never failed to look good in it anyway. His hair was slightly amiss, as though he'd gotten ready as quickly as he could - which was true, but she didn't know that for sure - but it still had his Steve 'the hair' Harrington charm.

"So, can I come in, or are you just gonna stand there and mock me?" He grinned and she stood to the side, allowing him to join her in the hallway. He went straight for the kitchen, taking out a vase and filling it up with water, then placing the flowers in it and leaving it on the kitchen counter.

"I didn't say you could-" She was trying to joke with him, but he didn't seem to care much, as he cut her off by dipping his head towards hers and kissing her passionately. He hated to admit it, probably something to do with the small part of his King Steve persona that he still carried around with him, but he'd missed her, and it had only been a few hours.

"Woah, easy tiger." Y/N laughed, pulling away when Steve's hands started to travel downwards. "We haven't even properly spoken yet."

"Yeah. Sorry." Steve said sheepishly. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and smiled down at the floor. "Do you wanna talk?"

She shrugged. "Not particularly."

"So, really, it's okay for me to do this," He closed the gap between them again, beaming at her while he searched her face for any sign of disapproval and admired the little flecks of contrasting colours that danced in her eyes. And then he kissed her again, lips soft against her own, gentle - something that wasn't widely believed, Steve Harrington was actually one of the most gentle people that Y/N had ever met.

"Well, yeah." She grinned, breathless. "But I'm sort of in the middle of watching a movie, wanna join?"

And so they spent the rest of the day, wrapped in the blankets on Y/N's bed and Y/N wrapped in Steve's arms, watching movies that Dustin fished out from the cabinet under the TV that Y/N didn't even know that they had.

She had to say, Steve's apologies were often cheesy and terrible, but this one wasn’t so bad as it was enjoyable.

[justrandomselfships]

Little steps- my self insert Fic (S/I POV) with a bunch of silly illustrations! Oh did I mention that this involves Kaeya? Well he's the main focus here even though Lisa is mentioned shit ton of times! Might write something for her focus too someday.

I finished it ages ago but I was afraid to post it- I'm not anymore and also✨ it's my birthday ✨

~~

Ever since I joined the knights I decided to write in a diary, it helped me keep track of time. Lisa told me that it can help me in various ways, like for example remembering names of the other knights, or checking my personal progress. Now that I think about it, it was long since I checked my old entries. Nothing interesting happened today anyway so I might as well read some. I don't really remember anything that was going on when I started so I suppose I could refresh my memory.

Today Lisa wanted to introduce me to someone- she probably wanted to help me by looking for training partner for me, however I had to refuse. You probably remember why was that, I got scared of meeting someone new again. I couldn't get that mess on her shoulders when she has so much to do as it is! And there was no way I'd meet them alone it'd be too akward for both of us!

I remember the exact moment I tried to come up with an excuse for future me... It kinda made me giggle how stupid I am sometimes, but let's look at something else...

I've never felt as lonely as I do now, I don’t even know why. I don’t miss anyone nor I ever craved any interactions... But to make that feeling go away I thought about talking to Amber but when I left the house she was talking to Noelle and I got scared to approach them... Instead I decided to sketch something and stay inside for the rest of the day.

I immediately looked at my sketchbook, I don't even have to look inside, I was drawing what's outside my window like always. Maybe I'll find some better memory if I keep looking?

During my patrol I got a bit lost... It was scary... But I wasn't alone, an Adventurer found me... However he got lost too. It was a bit unlucky day since I picked the wrong maps, we also got attacked a few times by monsters. I kinda feel bad for him since he tried his best to cheer me up but I stayed silent. It should've been other way around a knight shouldn't le

Bennett! How could I forget his name when I was writing this? He was such a sweetheart I obviously had to mess it up and make him feel uncomfortable... But I did make up for it! Maybe I'll finally read something positive? I somehow can't remember how exactly that went... Or if I was daydreaming about apologizing?

I decided to bake something for Bennett as thank you and apology for acting so cold towards him. But I had no idea on how to find him... Or what to say... So after thinking for few minutes I decided to talk to Katherine and ask her to give it to him. After "talking" to her I locked myself in my room out of embarrassment, I messed up again. I just said "Bennett" placed my pastries and left. Now I probably won't be able to face her for at LEAST two months.

I cringe at the memory... Gosh now this will keep me up at night for sure... I finally forgot about it and now it'll haunt me.

Wait a second... Did I really not made any progress at all!? I was trying so hard to socialize with others and get out more but I seem to still not be able to do it right. No, it's impossible. I'm good friends with Lisa! So I definitely made any progress... Or is she just so easy to talk to? Time to take a final look at something recent for a change...

Capitan Kaeya Alberich wanted to talk to me outside work... It might not sound like a big deal but somehow I just froze... I wasn't able to respond properly and he probably guessed what I was going to say, not that he ever can't do that... I might be too predictable. Either way I feel bad, my behavior was really disrespectful and I knew better than that to just ignore someone like him. I still have much to learn and I'll need to properly apologize for staying silent.

I only ever failed... There is no mistaking it. Great way to note down progress huh? Too bad there is none.

Think, what do I need to do to finally do better? I am the problem for sure but what do I really need to change? Maybe I should just start observing how others act... After all I never bothered to do that. It might help in one way or another...

Obviously there's only one place where there is a lot of people and I won't look like a total creep if I'll just listen in the conversations and look at random people... It's no other than the tavern. I'm scared to go there alone... But I don't have to!

Lisa would be willing to go right?... Then again I rely on her a bit too much and going out like this could be an opportunity to break the ice with someone else...

Jean is always busy, Amber will be way too distracting and we might end up somewhere else, Eula is too scary, Venti... I don't even know why I'm considering him.

Maybe that offer from capitan Kaeya still stands? It's from bearly 2 weeks ago so maybe if I get lucky and he happens to still be interested, I can actually go...

What am I even thinking!? I didn't even apologize for the last time... But being around so many drunk people is terrifying... However I can't bet on the fact that he won't drink too much... On the other hand he seems to handle people and I'll definitely learn something.

Screw it. It might be scary but I need to do it. Tomorrow I'll ask him! That's for sure! He's the most respectable and trustworthy person who isn't always busy and will not distract me.

~⏳

I'm scared to do it but I have to! I need to... Did I really say that I'm gonna do it today? Or should I just pretend that I never thought of it. He's probably busy today. Yup definitely that no need to feel stressed.

I haven't seen him back at the headquarters nor did I see him around town when I was coming back from my patrol- that's a good sign. It's still pretty early but I don't think that I'll see him today... What a relief!

Before I left the headquarters after finishing some paperwork I hear a voice that belongs to a beautiful librarian I am lucky to be able to call a friend.

"Hey there cutie, are you okay?"

"Just a little bit nervous that's all, nothing new haha"

"Do you need me to pass a message again?"

"No need! It's something I need to say myself..."

"I see..."

"But if you happen to see capitan Kaeya it would be nice if you could tell him that I was looking for him" out of habit I grab my hair and begin to play with it. Lisa's warm soothing voice blessed my ears as she said "No worries darling, I'll let him know" before she left and giggled to herself...

Wait... Oh no.

Why did I say anything!? Is she that magical that I can't say anything but what's on my mind.

If she happens to meet him my request will be unavoidable! Even if I tried thinking of something else Kaeya will know that I'm lying. I can't avoid him either... Can't waste his precious time...

How do I even ask him!? Do I need to change from my work clothes before I go? What should I do...

I didn't realize that I started walking in circles before someone approached me.

"Heather?"

I turn around and see the man I was thinking about all day. Dammit... I have to say it. I can't think of an excuse and staying silent is now unacceptable.

"Oh-uhm... Greetings Capitan Kaeya"

"Lisa informed me that you were looking for me"

"Oh right!... That... Haha..."

"I don't want to rush you, however I do have some business to attend to"

"I'm so sorry! I mean- since you're busy then my silly request is irrelevant"

"Come now, I believe that I should be the judge of that" his smug look made it ever so slightly more challenging to say anything.

"I just... Ugh..." I took a deep breath "Look as you know I was trying to loosen up recently and well I realized that I wasn't making any progress at all. So I remembered that one time you asked me to go to the tavern with you and I refused... I mean ignored you, which I am VERY sorry about but now I think that it was a mistake and today I wanted to ask you to accompany me but since you're busy let's just forget about everything" I felt relieved getting that off my chest.

"I don't think that will do, in fact I was heading towards the tavern so if you really want to I suppose you can join me" Oh right... I forgot about him gathering some information there from time to time. So it might work after all! He won't pay too much attention to me and I could investigate without tons of distractions.

"Let's get going then capitan" I say before he smiles softly in response "Wait do you want to get going now or-"

"Yes" he cut me off, which was fair and I'm glad he did it before I said something dumb.

We're almost there. Before we get closer I suddenly stop.

"That reminds me!" I realized I spoke out loud, as he looked at my direction my confidence dropped dead "I've never actually tried any alcohol so would you be so kind to recommend something for me? I figured that since I'm already getting out of my comfort zone might as well try something new" I said under my breath but he definitely understood what I meant judging by his facial expression and well... response.

"Absolutely" my heart skipped a beat. I desperately tried to start a conversation topic... But choosing alcohol might be something I'll regret...

Kaeya started listing few drinks I could enjoy his words were poetic as he described the beverages, however the names of the drinks went over my head. It wasn't that bad but I just felt stupid over how clueless I was. He definitely knew what he was talking about and I'm more than interested in hearing more. The more he talks the less likely I am to say something I'll regret.

"Obviously since I don't know how much you can handle I won't be forcing you to try too much too soon" he paused "Your father probably wouldn't be happy either if you returned drunk" he said teasingly. It invited me to respond less seriously.

"Oh no! This means that we'll have to do it again, how awful"

"We didn't enter yet so you can feel free to leave now before you regret spending time with me of all people" his voice was now suddenly much more hostile... Did I mess it up!?

He laughed softly "I'm sorry did I go too far? While I don't want to force you to do anything, I won't lie... I'm a bit curious to learn something new about you tonight"

We were still outside standing right in front of the entrance to the tavern if not for chatting we could hear from the inside there would be total silence.

"I'm sorry for being quiet again! It's just that you caught me off guard haha" I look away "There isn't much to know about me so I feel like I'll only disappoint you"

"I'm not so sure about that part"

"Wait... Did my father tell you anything about me!?"

"Look let's just get inside, We'll discuss it later"

Nervously I followed him yet again. The atmosphere was warm and I could see different kinds of people all over the place. We sit down.

"So did he tell you anything?" I ask immediately.

"Relax, he didn't" he seemed amused by my desperation to know. It's understandable... And I'm probably overreacting anyway. I collect my thoughts "I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm just making this into some big deal for no reason. Maybe the reason is the huge amount of respect I have for you that makes me freak out"

"I see, well I don't see the reason to be so formal now. We aren't working after all" his soft smile was enough for me to calm down.

"Thank you" Maybe it was all I needed to hear, after that everything went smoothly.

I start feeling proud of myself... Maybe I can change after all? Either way it only shows that I have to write it down! And once I was back home I did just that.

Today I had enough courage to take a step in right direction! I went to a tavern with capitan Kaeya. It was fun and for the first time in years I wasn't that scared. It wasn't totally perfect but it was definitely worth it.

[jemmydoolz]

Edgar Has Always Been Kind of a Bitch

hi okay so it's a little after midnight but I'm posting a fic rn bc it's the first fic I've written in like,, a yr and a half and also I'm rlly excited abt it??

anyway battle buddies/fahc jeremwood angst based on ramblings in a gc

(warning for minor assault implications at the beginning, and brief mentions of a suicide attempt at the end)!!!

Fiona and Gavin decide that what Jeremy needs is a night of bevs, and, to put it simply, get wasted, so the crew settles on going to a club that Friday. Jeremy only has one or two drinks, but boy does he get fucked up.

Ryan’s sitting and talking with Geoff and Jack in a booth, sipping a diet coke. He looks over Jack’s shoulder to see Jeremy standing at the bar with a much taller, more intimidating man looming over him. The guy reaches out toward Jeremy, who leans away from the touch. Jeremy nervously laughs and his eyes frantically dart around for someone, anyone who might be able to help him.

“Hello? Earth to Ryan?” Jack waves her hand in front of Ryan’s face.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah. sorry. Hey, um, I’m gonna go home, I’m just not really feeling great,” Ryan murmurs as he slides out of the booth, already heading toward Jeremy.

“Um, alright, I guess? Drive safe,” Jack calls after him.

Ryan speeds up when he sees the man grab Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy’s face flipped through a thousand emotions at once when he saw Ryan approaching, but eventually landed on confused but grateful. He gave Jeremy a look that said just go with what I’m about to say.

“Hey, babe,” Ryan says. The man immediately drops his grip on Jeremy’s arm. Jeremy does his best not to choke on his own spit when he hears the word babe come out of Ryan’s mouth. He hadn’t heard it in so long, and he didn’t think it would still hurt so much.

“Oh, hey!” Jeremy turns to Ryan and reaches up to peck him on the lips. “Where’d Edgar go? It’s his birthday, I figured he would wanna hang out with his friends!”

Fuck. Mentioning something about their friend ‘Edgar’ was always code for I don’t feel good about this, let’s leave. Edgar’s birthday meant I’m having a panic attack, I need your help. Ryan wanted to punch the guy that was practically feeling Jeremy up. No—he wanted to fucking kill that bastard. He and Jeremy may have had a severe falling out, they may have suffered years of heartache and longing, but he still felt responsible to make sure Jeremy was safe.

“He said he kinda wanted to go home. He went to the bathroom while I found you. You, uh, just about ready?” Ryan’s eyes flitted between Jeremy and the other man, who cleared his throat and mumbled something about needing to go find his friends before walking off.

Jeremy and Ryan both sigh in relief once he’s gone.

“Wanna head outside for some fresh air for a minute?” Ryan asks, getting a meek, obviously shaken-up nod in return.

Jeremy says something that Ryan can’t quite hear over the music as they walk outside.

“Hm?”

“Oh, nothing. It was dumb.” Jeremy shakes his head. Ryan has had enough experience to know that it was better to just leave it alone. They both wordlessly come to a stop and lean against the wall of the building a few yards from the door. Almost as if they had been working as partners for years. They spend a few minutes saying nothing, watching people on the street, looking at the stars in the sky. Ryan can’t help but study the intricacies of Jeremy, realizing that so many things have changed, but somehow almost nothing about him is different. Jeremy’s hair is just a tad bit more grown out than it ever was at the agency (also, it’s bright purple and orange, which is not exactly the most appealing color combination, but that’s a topic for another day), but he still runs his hands through it when he’s lost in thought. It’s curlier than it used to be, but maybe that’s just because it’s longer. He still clenches his jaw so hard it seems like he’s going to break his teeth when he’s scared. He still wears a tank top under his shirt, no matter how hot it is outside. His eyes still crinkle at the corners when he lets out a bark of laughter that Ryan still swears up and down sounds exactly like a squeaky toy. He’s changed, though. Ryan can see in his eyes that he’s become aware of reality. He knows the responsibility he carries, the heavy consequences that come with his actions, that death is around the corner at every moment.

“D’you- d’you want me to take you home?” Ryan says barely above a whisper, but loud enough for Jeremy to hear. “You can go back inside if you want, but I know you always used to want to go home and be alone after Edgar shows up.” Jeremy lets out the tiniest breathy chuckle.

“Edgar has always been kind of a bitch, hasn’t he?” Jeremy says as he looks away from the sky to meet Ryan’s gaze, and his heart falls apart all over again for the thousandth time. That fond look of reminiscence and joy was one Ryan donned frequently at the agency. “I- Yeah. yeah. I’d really appreciate a ride home. I’m just a little too drunk to drive, I think.”

“Alright. I parked just down the street. Penthouse or your apartment?” Ryan hadn’t even noticed that Jeremy did seem somewhat tipsy; his Boston accent slipping in occasionally and his words slurring the tiniest bit.

“Um, apartment,” Jeremy says. “D’you rem-”

“Yes, I remember where your apartment is, Jeremy.”

It’s only a few minutes into the drive to the other side of town when Jeremy pipes up. “I honestly didn’t really expect you to help me. I didn’t expect you to remember Edgar, either. I dunno why I said it, I guess just vaguely hoping you would even though it’s been, what, three years?” he pauses for a moment and just takes in Ryan's profile. “I always hope you remember things from then. I know it went to shit, but we still had so much fun. We made so many memories and did so much dumb shit there. But I’m glad that stupid fuckin’ place collapsed. All of it was complete bullshit. I just wish it all fell apart before we did.”

Ryan doesn’t know how to respond. So he doesn’t.

“All those meetings I had to stay late for? Fuckin’ useless. They served no purpose, and I don't know why I was forced to go to them. I feel like the only reason I had to go to those meetings was because someone was hiding something from me. It was obvious that so many things were kept from us.” Jeremy stops for a second to try to will away the lump rising in his throat. “I thought you were cheating on me. For the longest time. I still don’t know whether you actually were. You were always out on ‘special missions’ and shit.”

The moment Ryan hears Jeremy let out a shaky breath his heart breaks.

“Was it me? Was I not good enough? I promise I tried my hardest to be what you needed. I’m sorry if I wasn’t. All I wanted was the best for you, Ryan. Even now, I just want you to be happy. If you're happier with someone else, then that’s what I want. I don’t blame you, though. I don’t deserve someone like you. You deserve so much better than me. I would do anything for you, Rye. We were together for so long. We did everything together! I thought I was gonna marry you. I was saving up money to get a ring. I guess I was too stupid to see that you didn’t want me anymore.”

Ryan looks over to see the tears staining Jeremy’s cheeks reflecting the soft orange glow of the streetlamps. Is this really what Jeremy thinks?

“I was so in love with you, Ryan Haywood. I’m- I’m still in love with you. I love you so goddamn much it hurts sometimes. Every time I see you hurt, upset, angry, anything other than healthy and happy my heart aches. I’m sorry I wasn't enough. I promise I tried. Fuck, I tried so hard.”

With every sob Jeremy lets out, Ryan's heart breaks just a little bit more. The short distance left until Ryan pulls up to Jeremy’s apartment building is spent wordlessly. Jeremy’s clambering out of the car and reaching to grab the door when Ryan speaks.

“Hey, Jer, do you want me to walk you up? I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“No. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I’ve already been a pain in your ass tonight, I don't need to waste even more of your time. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything.” Jeremy sniffles and wipes his cheeks, giving a half-hearted smile before shutting the door and walking away.

Ryan sits there for a second, unable to process fully what he just heard. He starts driving without even knowing where he was going, and he’s so lost in his thoughts that suddenly he’s sitting in his car in front of the boardwalk along the beach and crying. He can’t believe anything he was just told—there is no way in hell that the brilliant, witty, talented Jeremy Dooley ever doubts his worth. It’s jarring to think that part of it was because of Ryan. He was going on extra missions because the agency was growing more and more demanding. For months they tormented Ryan with the threat of kicking out Jeremy. They said they’d do other things to him that Ryan doesn’t want to remember. Why did Jeremy never bring it up? Why did he just accept that Ryan had ‘moved on?’ Their lives were so intertwined with one another that Ryan never felt truly whole again. The only reason Ryan went with the break up was that he saw how distant and cold Jeremy had gotten. Ryan had assumed that, for whatever reason, Jeremy had changed his mind. He hated it, he was devastated, but he didn't know how to fix it.

Ryan decides he doesn’t want to go back to the penthouse tonight. He pulls up to the nearest crew safehouse, and suddenly things click.

Jeremy had always struggled with bad self-image and depression. He had gone to Ryan for comfort, which he was always more than willing to give. Jeremy was doing better. At least he told Ryan he was.

Jack had mentioned a while ago that when Jeremy first joined the crew, she had found him after a suicide attempt and barely left his side until he recovered. The only reason for it Jack had told Ryan about was ‘emotional trauma from a past relationship, that he didn’t really want to talk about.’

Ryan did that to him.

Ryan did that to him.

Ryan made the love of his life want to die.

The pieces left of his heart fall into more shards than there are grains of sand in this world.

He collapses onto the couch inside, too exhausted to even get to the bed. He knows he’s not going to be able to sleep, though.

To: Geoff

Dropped Jeremy off at his place, he was pretty drunk though so check on him please

To: Geoff

I’m staying at kung fu safehouse for the night

[kian-bera]

Merlin was exhausted from work. Trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle of customers at Christmas was exhausting. He loved to help people find the magic of books though, they were all he had left of the world he once knew. The world when Camelot and all of Avalon still existed. The world, where Arthur was still alive. There was a knock at the door and Merlin just sighed before getting up. He opened the door and saw Leon standing there with Christmas Eve dinner, just like every year.

"Happy Christmas." Leon said sadly as he leaned against the door post.

"Happy Christmas Leon. Come in." The two men walked to the kitchen table and sat down, the only light came from the street lights and a few lights that lit Merlin's small tree in the corner. "Do you ever think this will end?"

"I do not know Merlin. Maybe one day, somehow we will see Avalon rise again, we will see Arthur and Gwen and all of our friends once more gathered at the round table. Or we will be here for another 1500 years wishing and hoping that we can find a way to end this stupid immortality thing and finally just die of old age."

Merlin just nodded and dug his food out of the fast food bag in front of him. The two sat in silence as they ate, the only sound was that of the cars and the late city life down below. Leon and Merlin eventually made their way to the couch and curled up together to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" as they have always done since the movie came out. Leon put a blanket over Merlin once he finally fell asleep halfway through the movie. When they woke up, the news was on about two men who had been arrested early that morning. Leon nudged Merlin awake.

"Merlin, my eyes could be deceiving me, but is that Arthur and Gwaine?" Leon asked, shaking his head. The news reporter popped up on the screen.

"Good morning London. This morning, these two men were caught soaking wet and screaming for the mythical wizard Merlin. One keeps claiming he is the King of Camelot himself Arthur, while the other insisting he is Sir Gwaine of the infamous round table. If anyone can come and get them, the officers who arrested them would be grateful." The camera cut to a picture of Gwaine and Arthur sitting in a holding cell still in armour. Their swords and Arthur's cape had been taken and the armour might have been taken, but it looks like they put up a fight.

Merlin and Leon jumped up and threw on a pair of matching Christmas sweaters Leon had gotten them years ago as a joke gift. Merlin quickly grabbed his keys and ran to his car. After all these years of having one, he still did not completely understand how all the mechanics worked even though he had a drivers license. He preferred his bike, but he would need more than one seat.

When they got to the police station, Merlin and Leon walked up to the information desk and inquired about Arthur and Gwaine. Leon told the officer that the two had been drunk at a dress up Christmas party and had gotten drunk. They had wandered off and no one could find them. Leon paid the bail while Merlin waited for Arthur and Gwaine to come up. Once they were there, the men were given back their chainmail and swords before Merlin tackled Arthur.

"Where are we, and why won't these knights listen to me?" Arthur questioned, a bit annoyed.

"Arthur, I will answer all your questions later, okay? We need to get you back to my flat and out of the armour."

"You are right Merlin, it really does need polishing doesn't it?"

"Yes, now come on." Merlin dragged Arthur and Gwaine to his car where Leon was waiting for them. Merlin helped them into the car and just sat there in the passenger seat, mixed emotions swimming through his brain. When they got back to Merlin's flat, Merlin and Leon took them inside.

"Do you have any spare clothes?" Leon asked Merlin.

"Why would I want to wear Merlin's clothes?" Arthur asked plopping down on the couch.

"Because you need to fit in." Merlin told him going to his closet in his bedroom. Gwaine followed him to the bedroom.

"What is all of this new stuff? Like what was that carriage that we were just in?" Gwaine questioned watching Merlin throwing clothes into his bed.

"I will attempt to explain everything to you and Arthur. Please go back to the living room with them." Merlin shooed Gwaine out of the room. Once Gwaine was out, Merlin shut the door before running over to his pillow and screaming into the soft fabric. Afterwards he sat up, and grabbed a shirt and a pair of sweatpants someone had given him, that were big on himself. He came out and told Arthur to change into them in the bathroom while he found something to wear for Gwaine. The issue was Gwaine was taller than he was, so he wanted to find something that would be long enough to cover his legs.

"MERLIN COME HELP ME PLEASE!" Arthur yelled from the bathroom. Merlin just laughed as Arthur tried to get his head through the turtle neck shirt he had given to Arthur. "Don't just stand there, help me." Merlin just shook his head and went over to help Arthur with the shirt.

"Arthur what do you remember?" Merlin asked, pulling the neck of the shirt over Arthur's head.

"I was stabbed by Mordred. You have magic. I died with you holding me in your arms. What happened after Camelot lost their King Merlin? How did Guivere fair? Did she remarry? Was their an heir to the throne? Who all survived? Did my knights make it home? I mean Gwain was with me when we came from the lake, so I suppose he died."

"Arthur calm down one question at a time okay? You will overload yourself. Camelot mourned for you Arthur. The people, they loved you. Every year on the eve of when you died there was a vigil. Guivere was out of it for a while, royal advisors kinda took over making decisions. Once she came around, she was a wonderful queen. She did you proud, Arthur." Merlin took a step back and smiled.

"What about the rest of my questions?"

"Those should be answered by the man in the living room with Gwaine."

"Wait there was someone else here?" Arthur questioned heading for the door.

"Yes, I wasn't driving the car with magic. Right you don't know what a car is or how it works. Right."

Leon and Gwaine sat at the table laughing. Gwaine had found the basket of apples Merlin kept in the kitchen to snack on when he was writing. His laptop sat on a small table with a bunch of sticky notes around it on the wall.

"By the way Merlin, when I saved your busts at the tavern, that was an act of heroism, I mean who else would take on those bullies." Gwaine said smiling. He took the Apple core and tossed it into the trash can.

"Good morning Arthur." Leon said, smiling. Arthur gasped and ran over to Leon. "I've missed you. Merlin has been teaching me poetry you know."

"How dare he teach you poetry, that's my thing." Arthur gave a small laugh. "Merlin said I should ask you about what happened to Gwen after I died. Does Merlin not know?"

"He does, but it was a rocky time for him. About three years after your death, I...Gwen and I got married and I became the new King of Camelot. We had two sons. The oldest we named Arthur in honor of Camelot's once and future king. The younger of the two we had several years later, we named him Elyan after Gwen's brother. They grew up to be strong knights and princes, and long after Gwen passed away, I stepped down as King and let Arthur and his wife Elizabeth take over as King and Queen. They ruled Camelot with honor and dignity until they died and then their son Emeyrus took over as King. So the line went down for another 250 years. Then one harsh winter, a famine took over Camelot and all of Avalon. All the kingdoms fell to the Saxons and Avalon was lost forever. All that's left is the pillar in the lake, Merlin and myself."

"If there is one more question I may ask? What happened after the battle?" Arthur asked tears in his eyes. Leon knee what he meant by everyone.

"Only myself and Percival survived." Arthur just nodded. "I'm not sure if Gwaine remembers but he was tortured to death by Morgana."

"So, Merlin got mad at you for taking Gwen's hand in marriage?"

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS LEON! ARTHUR WAS OUR FRIEND!"

"Merlin calm down please..." Leon went to lay a hand on his shoulder, but Merlin pulled away, tears streaming down his eyes. He wanted to run far away, where no one knew who he was, or what had happened. "Merlin please, I know you are still upset about Arthur. We all are, but we have to move forward for the sake of Camelot."

"For the sake of Camelot." Merin echoed. "Camelot this and Camelot that, everything is done for the sake of Camelot." Merlin shook his head and ran off to the stables. He had a bag packed and a horse ready to leave. He hopped up and took off into the forest. He went to the one place he felt safe. He rode to the lake.

When Merlin arrived, he left his horse in the tree line and went down to the edge of the lake. The water was lapping against the shore harshly as a storm was blowing in from the north. Merlin did not care though. He did not want to hear the wedding bells.

"Hi Arthur, so Leon and Gwen are getting married today. I want to be happy for them, I really do, but at the same time, I want you to be home. I want you to come home like they said you would. I want to believe more than anything that you will rise from the lake. It hurts without you Arthur, as annoying as you could be dollaphead, I never realized how much I needed you." Merlin heard a snap and turned around. Percival came down to the water and sat beside Merlin. "I thought you would be a Leon and Gwen's wedding."

"I was going too, but then I saw you ride off and crying. I figured you'd be here talking to Arthur. It's what you do when you're upset."

"Thank you Perse. I guess I just hoped that Arthur would return."

"We all do." Percival told  Merlin, hugging him close.

"Yeah he wouldn't talk to me for weeks, but he finally came around and accepted our marriage. I think he was just hoping you would come back and fix everything."

"Thank you Leon, for everything." Arthur told him.

"Of course Arthur, while I may have become the king, you were and still are my king and I am proud to serve by your side." There was a bright flash of light from outside the flat and people started screaming. The four ran to the window and glanced down. There she was, Morgana in the flesh standing on the ground with Aithusa by her side. Morgana glanced up at the boys and smirked. She began to chant and Merlin told everyone to get away from the windows. The window shattered, and Merlin took most of the damage as he was still right in front.

"MERLIN!" Leon ran over and checked for damage. Merlin was bleeding but he had curled up that most of the glass didn't hit anything major.

"COME OUT HERE COWARDS OR SHALL THIS NEW CITY AND KINGDOM FALL TOO!" Morgana shouted from the ground. Arthur ran over to the window, glancing down at her.

"You will never win Morgana, now go back from whatever corner of the death that you came from."

"Never, I lost my chance once, I will not lose this battle again." Morgana hopped on Aithusa and rode off into the distance. Arthur just stood there glancing at the people below who were confused and scared.

"Hey Leon...er King?" Merlin asked, trying to figure out how to address the new ruler.

"Just Leon is fine Merlin. You are an old friend and such formality is not needed."

"Okay Just Leon." Merin cracked a small smile and laughed.

"Is that a smile I see?" Queen asked, walking over to the men.

"Maybe....." Merlin replied. Leon hugged him close. "We have missed this Merlin."

"Well dollaphead I should get to work then. What will it be, polishing armour, scrubbing the floors. Have I mentioned polishing armour." Merlin gave the first true smile he had given in three years. Gwen laughed and hugged Merlin as well.

"Armour sounds good, but we have a trip to go on first." Leon told him. Leon took him down the hall and to the great hall.

"The stables are that way Leon." Merlin said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"I know they are, but this trip is within the castle walls." When they got to the room, Leon had Merlin close his eyes and led him across the room. "Now open." Merin opened his eyes to see a red curtain.

"Wow Just Leon, that's impressive." Leon scoffed and nudged Merlin.

"Let then open the curtain first." The curtains opened and there stood a bronze statue of Arthur and Merlin. They stood side by side, swords drawn. Merlin hugged Leon and sobbed into his chest. "Shhh it's okay Merlin, I knew you would want something to honor Arthur and I thought that having you two together would be even better. You two were always together no matter what."

"Thank you Leon. For everything. I'm glad you became the king." Merlin took a step back and wiped his eyes.

Arthur returned to where Leon was helping Gwaine pick glass out of Merlin's side. Arthur sat beside them and tried to help. Every time they pulled out a piece, Merlin flinched. Arthur eventually had to pull away because he started to tear up. They had only been reunited for less than a day and Merlin was already hurt trying to save him.

"Is there anything I can do? Like get some water?" Arthur asked, pacing the floor.

"Uh yeah, the cups are in the cabinet. Sink water is fine." Leon told Arthur pointing to the kitchen. Arthur went over and found a cup.

"Where did you say the pump was?" Arthur asked.

"Oh see the sink?"

"Yes."

"Pull that silver lever gently." Arthur nodded and put the cup under the spout and pulled the level.

"Wow it doesn't stop after a few seconds. You don't have to pump the water."

"No you don't, it's quite nice." Arthur brought the cup of water back and went back to playing with the sink. "Arthur dont run too much water, we have a high water bill as it is."

"Water bill? Like you have to pay to have this running water?" Arthur asked.

"Yes you do." Leon told him helping Merlin, who was now awake, to the table.

"I never did ask. What year is it?" Arthur questioned finding other things in the kitchen to play with.

"It's 2020." Merlin replied weakly.

"But that means...It's been 1500 years." Gwaine said sitting down.

"Yeah." Leon and Merlin replied in unison.

"Hey Leon calm down, it will be alright. Gwen is a strong woman. She will be fine." Merlin told Leon trying to  calm him down. After a few hours, Leon was finally allowed inside Gwen's bedroom. She was asleep, but her lady In waiting was holding a newborn baby boy. She handed Leon his son and smiled.

"He is perfectly healthy Sire, no problems at all. And Gwen is fine, she is just tired and needs some rest." She explained to the king.

"Oh yes of course, can I?"

"Go ahead sire." Leon held his newborn son close to his chest and smiled at the small child wrapped in a wool blanket. He walked to his chambers while Merlin ran ahead and opened the door. Leon sat on his bed while Merlin stood there awkwardly.

"Merlin why don't you take the rest of the day off. You were up with me early this morning and have been there for me all day. It is the least I can do after all you've done."

"Are you sure Leon?"

"Yes I'm sure now shoo, flee, go enjoy yourself. I'll have a guard find you if I need you." Leon smiled at him and waved him out.

"Thank you Leon." Merlin smiled and walked out the door. He knew that Leon had told him to go, but he sat right outside the door and fell asleep.

"So, what kind of story are you writing?" Gwaine asked Merlin trying to get him to talk.

"A story about Camelot. The true story, not what legend has told. Oh Arthur pulled this fancy sword name Excalibur from a stone and now he's this king of this amazing kingdom. Like sorry, but he was already king when he pulled Excalibur from the sword. That was just reassurance that he was the true king of Camelot since he had lost faith."

"You are telling the truth." Arthur replied, smiling.

"I'm telling our story." Merlin told him, smiling back as he tried to sit up in his chair. "Now enough dilly saddling. Morgana is back, what are we going to do?"

[yumestar19]

Can you make him confess... his sickness!?

When they heard Christo moaning, the demons instantly knew something was wrong. Even Red Magnus let his fist drop and stopped in the middle of his training to face his troublesome-looking friend.

"Are you okay, Christo?" Red Magnus asked with a smile that was too cheerful for Christo to look at, so he dropped his glance.

"I'm fine." He simply said, shaking off the sick feeling that made his limbs ache like... Damn, he couldn't even find a simile. He pushed two fingers against his throbbing temple, silently wishing for the pain to ease. Of course, this would have required luck and let's say luck was something he didn't have because his superior always picked up the worst horoscopes for him. His lucky word for today was "confession". Yeah... He wouldn't go that far...

As Red Magnus didn't stop glaring at him, (his stare almost screamed "suspect", Christo swore he had heard it), the tactician asked politely, "Why don't you continue training?"

"'Cause something's super wrong with you."

Christo's smile dropped, but he tried hard to make a good expression. At least, he had worn a smile for a split second, before the harsh coughing made him hide his face into the soft fabric of his cape.

"I'm fine", he mumbled, sounding less confidently than before.

"Ohohoho, nobody said anything about you not being fine just now" Seraphina's laugh hurt in his ears and he sunk deeper into the fabric, closing his eyes.

"But my, you really look pale", she said at least with a compassionate tone of voice that made her sound like a worried old lady.

"Don't you two have anything better to do than mocking me with your lame jokes?", Christo asked and looked up when he had made sure that there was no blush on his face anymore. Still, he felt like his cheeks were on fire and he could see on his friend's faces that they knew it, too.

That he, an angel, had come down with something only demons could catch.

A demonic sickness.

Damn, how he hated the small grin on Seraphina's face.

"If you are truely sick, then I may need to drop the "you're an angel" attribute of mine, because only demons can get sick, but you should know that."

Christo growled to himself. Why did this spoiled princess always twist the knife into his wound? Didn't he feel awful enough already? Wait, he just needed to think hard... Think hard, think hard... Damn, his headache was killing him. And still, he didn't know how to escape from the situation.

"You know, I don't know why you always mistake me for an angel. Do I have anything in common with such low creatures?" While saying that, he imagined the dumb grin of his superior and it felt so right to continue talking, "Angels are disgusting, awful creatures that will surely accuse you of anything randomly, like... They don't even have proof-supported reasons!" He shook his head like he couldn't believe it.

"So, you're calling me an angel, Christo?", Seraphina asked with a grin wider than the devil's mouth when consuming helpless human souls.

"Y-Yes, ehm no, of course not, no one's an angel here..." Christo looked around like he wanted to make sure. Sweat dropped from his forehead and he was now sure that his body temperature has risen to 200°C, at least it felt like he had developed a moderate fever. Damn, when did the atmosphere turned so hot? Even his throat felt sore and burned and it didn't help with the cough. Oh, when did he cough? He forgot to cover his mouth and yes, they heard it loudly.

Double failure: Usalia and Zeroken just came around the corner.

Now, he was ready to burst into flames.

"What's wrong with you, plip?" A worried child voice squeaked out. Usalia ran as fast as her small legs could carry her and she stopped sharp in front of him. The noisy scratch of the wooden floor made Christo grit his teeth.

"Nothing, nothing", he replied, keeping his composure. Of course, he felt fine. Of course, he was okay. He sense the alrightness throughout his entire body. NOT. (Expect you took away the bone aches, the clogged-up nose, the killing headache and the irritating feeling in his throat, but who would be so kind to stop his suffering? No one, of course.)

"You moaned about your pain a few minutes ago", Red Magnus reminded him.

Christo sighed and looked at all of them. Anger formed a knittering winkle over his nose. Somehow, however, he managed to not shout at them, as it was obvious that they weren't the cause for his malaise.

"Don't you all have something better to do than messing up with another person's life when they are in the middle of a cri... Critical thinking process?" He bit his tongue, surely he almost let the truth slip out. He shook his head and shook it again and again, until he felt so dizzy that he needed to steady himself with one hand on the wall. He smiled like the support made him look cool, when in fact, he looked like he was about to fall over. Zeroken rushed on his side and couldn't stopped himself from making an 'Awwww'-sound.

Of course, God hated him.

"Nawww, you look like a drunk."

"Have you got yourself a drink, plip?"

Christo was short before shouting that angels didn't carelessly drink (although he wondered if his superior had one glass or more whenever he called for stupid reasons), but he kept his mouth shut. There was the urge to cough, building up like a small fire that turned quickly in a major fire. How long was he able to resist? How long could he breathe? He heard the rattling, the little shakes in his voice when he spoke.

"I'm really... fine. Just a little... tired from... thinking."

'Or perhaps, a little bit too much tired from dealing with all of this disturbing non-sense', he thought for himself. It was then that he realized he was tired. Really tired. He could doze off in an instant. Of course, that was no option... Not here, not in front of them.

But this wooden floor almost seemed comfortable... He just needed to let himself fall on it, curl up and sleep. Every problem of his would be banned from the dream world. No pain, no cough, no sniffle, no disturbance.

He still had his pride though. That's why he didn't fall for it...

"Christo, you seem kinda pale. Better sit down." Killia advised him.

Of course, he didn't listen. He just focused on the voice. Had Killia's voice always sounded that soft and lovely like the singing voice of an angel? If so, he hadn't noticed until now. Perhaps, feverish illusions. He was fine with them.

"I'm okay, sweetheart", he said.

Wait... Did he just call Killia 'sweetheart'? Surely, the fever must have gotten higher. He shook his head and he immediately regretted what he just said.

"I knew he was gay!" Seraphina shouted half-angrily, half-victorious. How could a person be angry and victorious at the same time? It was a question that Christo never considered asking. But suddenly, he really wanted an answer. But first, he should clear the misconception.

"I'm not gay", he told them. Quietly. It was almost a whisper.

"You speak without confidence. I just found you out", Seraphina said, adding her usual Ohohoho-laugh at the end.

"I'm not gay!" Christo said now louder. It didn't help with his sore throat. He felt the fire burning. In his heart, too.

"If anything, I'm pan."

"Gay or pan, it's the same though", Seraphina told him.

"It's not the same, Seraphina." Killia told her. Surprised, she turned around and looked at him with her mouth open.

"And you consider yourself...?"

"Bisexual", Killia said with a bright smile.

Now, they were talking about sexual identity. Great. Christo really meant it. It was great that they didn't focus on his ill... He shook his head. He wouldn't even call it sickness for God's sake. He would go with "a little bit under the weather". Nothing several. Maybe, he should think about renaming it after his harsh coughing send him mercilessly down on his knees.

And the attention was back on him again.

He heard steps coming closer. Felt like a horror scene. Shadows were above him. The air was thick and it was hard to breath. He swallowed and it hurt. He clinged on his chest as the pain grew inside him. First, a little pounding, he could bare it, it's okay. Then, as the coughing started again, the pain was a cross over his chest, squeezing all the air out of him. Felt like monsters were laying their cold hands on him, suffocating him. He gasped for air. His breathing was out of rhythm, something between deep intakes and short outcomes. Almost like a panic attack. Was he panicking? He didn't know. Didn't want to know. The pain was the only thing he could focus on. And his breathing. He needed to calm himself down. Breathe in, breath out. Damn, why was something so simple so hard right now? Rattling. Didn't sound good. Should he sit up? Should he lay down? Was he able to move?

Questions overhelmed him. Unregular like his breathing. Uncontrollable. He was desperately trying to grab answers. Grabbed someone. Who was it? A demon? He would have laughed if he had had breath for it. He was safe. Maybe, he thought so. Safety didn't exist in the Netherworlds, did it? Why should he feel safe?

He pushed the hands aside with all the strength he could muster. His own hands reached for his bow and arrows. Could he make a hit in this condition? He wasn't sure. His finger trembled as he put them on the wooden grip. Sweat. He could taste it. Salty and bitter. He bit his tongue. The blood tasted like metal. Disgusting. He put the arrow between the arrow rest and shelf, then bend the strings. His fingers wouldn't stop shaking. Something awfully felt wrong.

The shadows stepped away from him. Scaried faces. Oh, he must be looking like a psychopath. His hair all messed up, his eyes red like blood, his pupils reduced to small points. Survival bonus. The tension of the string shook his body. He let go of it. Didn't saw what was hit. Just a sound similar to metal crashing. Then, everything went silent.

He smiled seemingly happy, then he crashed to the ground.

"Christo!"

Who was calling the angel's name?

It wasn't even his real name though.

"Christo..."

His name sounded funny. Was it a German word? 'Christ' maybe? Or did it come from the word 'Christmas'? He was born one day after the holy night. Coincidence, maybe?

"Christo!!"

Now, they were getting annoying. Voices calling out for a codename... Oh, wait, they didn't know it was one.

He was really dumb when being unconscious, wasn't he?

For the sake of not being called dumb, he opened his eyes, only to look into a burning light. He thought he was looking into the sun. Beautiful. Not really. It hurt.

He closed his eyes again, moaning. Maybe, rainy days were better days to get back to consciousness.

"Christo..." A quiet voice said.

"I wanna sleep", he replied, grabbing a pillow. He coughed softly into it. His throat still felt awful. Even more burning than before. He couldn't resist to the coughing urge, so he hid his face in the soft fabric, swearing to never let go of it. Somebody gently removed it from him.

"You need to keep your airways open" this someone said. It was Zeroken who put a worried glance on him.

"You really scared us, bro."

"I was so worried about you, plip!"

"Yeah, you made us super worried!"

"I'm glad you're awake." Killia said, even smiling a little.

"But you didn't need to attack us so suddenly, did you? Not that I was scared. I know how weak you are, ohohohoho!"

Christo looked up at them and met everyone's glances. Behind their kind faces worries lied. He couldn't even imagine how they felt right now. Maybe better than him. Maybe worse than him.

Maybe, they felt the same.

There was a call. From his superior. He didn't care for answering. Not now. He was feeling weak. Weaker than before. But somehow... Cooler.

He felt a cold towel on his forehead. Refreshing. He calmed down a little, he even relaxed. His thoughts were still a mess. He couldn't figure out where he was.

The underground was soft. A mattress? And there was a blanket... Though, he wasn't under it. He wished he did. He was shivering. Was it winter? Was there even weather in the Netherworlds?

No, he guessed no, Celestia hadn't snow either.

"Shhh, you are in the hospital" Killia explained while stroking through Christo's hair. It was a simple act, but it was good enough to calm the angel down.

"H-Hospital?" Christo asked weakly. He seemed to not know what it was. Something off the place. He shouldn't be here. He wasn't sick.

Coughing.

Maybe a little.

Harsh coughing.

Okay, he was really feeling down and ill and he had never felt that horrible in his entire eternity life.

His coughing eased a little. He put a hand on his chest in hope of finding the pain and rib it out. Then, he wouldn't need to feel it anymore.

This pain... It was cross-shaped. Though, he didn't know why he thought so. Just felt like it.

Someone put his hand on his. It was Killia. A warm touch. A wonderful feeling. If he hadn't been that sick, he might have smiled about it.

"Tell me what happened", Christo begged. He couldn't live with his ignorance.

"You attacked us, but you didn't hurt us", Killia told him.

"The healer said you had a high fever" Zeroken added.

"But a really really high one! Like... 41°C or more, plip!"

"A dangerous temperature for angels." Seraphina added. Her voice unusually cold.

"This was needlessly added" Christo said, "Cause I am not an angel!"

He coughed. Then, he coughed again. Suddenly, he remembered his lucky word.

Confession

Why was it so big in his head? The word felt out of place. It didn't sum up the story. Maybe he should just go over with it.

He opened his mouth, but he closed it in an instant. He didn't feel ready to tell them.

In truth, he never wanted to confess.

Especially not when all forces of the world were against him.

This couldn't be one of his lucky days. He knew it.

And when all of his friends were looking at him, troubled, worried, maybe even scaried, he couldn't tell them.

He looked away, breaking with all of their glances. He felt the rush of the fever. An energy draining and pushing at the same time.

He opened his mouth again. This time, words came out.

"I need to tell you something", he said.

"I'm actually... You see, I'm actually... An..."

"Sick, you wanna say?"

Killia was really a blessing. Christo just nodded.

It seemed like the confession took a little bit of his burden.

And soon, he would recover...

[teddybear-yn]

[all night - the vamps]

nct. jung jaehyun

last night’s craziness was just too much that some of it spilled onto the next morning

It was 3:16 am, and I was still wide awake. Outside, it was dark and foggy. Typical winter weather. In my mind, it was a mess of disorganized haywires - the type you wouldn't even bother yourself to fix anymore.

I try to convince myself that I couldn't fall asleep because of the stupid red bull and jet black cup of coffee I drank earlier.

But in reality, I knew I couldn't because of a new number sitting in my phone of a new guy that was waiting for me to text him first.

It all happened last night.

My group of friends and I normally were the bunch of quiet weirdos in the corner that you swore could talk to each other telepathically.

We were always laughing though, sometimes got in trouble, and went way back. All the way in middle school is where we all met and decided 'hey you're kinda cool, I'll stick with you'.

So when we were blasting music and singing obnoxiously last night? It came off as a bit of a shock to the kids that lived in the college street we raided.

It was just a whim honestly, I swear none of us were drunk or high then. In fact, we were all completely sober. Some crazy remnants still made me giggle.

We started the music at around 9pm, at first we just wanted to drive around, admiring the pretty buildings. The stereo's volume was on 26.

But then by our 6th round around the block, I was sitting on the window with my phone's flashlight on, singing obnoxiously to whatever song came on.

My friend, with her window down, conveniently had one of those echo mics and was singing to the top of her lungs despite not knowing half the lyrics.

The stereo's volume was on 99 and the bass boosters were switched on.

There were college kids playing tennis by the park then. It was almost 12am.

When the attractive group of guys came up to us, laughing, inviting us to a club party, we thought 'hey we're already getting crazy, why not go the extra mile and get drunk on a Tuesday night?’

Little did I know that that night would be a rollercoaster of emotions.

We got to the club around 1:30. All dressed up, I was feeling pretty and confident. That didn't normally happen. I wasn't the pretty one of the group.

Everything was a blur, How I was sick of dancing in the heels my friend lent me, so after a few minutes, I was the first in our group to trudge towards the bar barefoot.

I sat there watching them dance with a goofy smile on my face. We always talked about how we would all go completely crazy someday. Guess that was today. But then again maybe there were more and crazier days to come with them.

"You made it. So can I offer you a drink?" One of the guys that came up to us earlier in that attractive bunch? He was right next to me, looking more attractive as he was dressed up too.

"I'm Jaehyun. You and your friends are being hunted down by the police for the ruckus you guys made earlier, did you know that?" 

Shit. I always thought how it was odd that nobody came out and screamed at us earlier for being a driving teen concert.

Guess they didn't bother and went straight to the police.

"There aren't any cameras around there, right?" I ask nervously. After a chuckle, Jaehyun merely shrugged innocently. He should know he lives there. I glared at him, knowing that he should know.

"Okay, fine. There are cameras. But the most you'll get is a night in jail." That rang in my ears, threatening to spill out in vomit. A night in jail? My parents will kill me.

Jaehyun seems to notice my distraught as he asks me again if I wanted a drink. "A cup of coffee will be fine. Black. And some red bull."

Now that doesn't sound at all appealing, but I figured if I was spending a night in jail, there was no way in hell I would fall asleep.

"You were quite interesting earlier, almost hanging out of the car window and flailing." He chuckles again, not really helping with my stress really.

"In Psychology you were like a mouse, spoke little next to nothing and there you were, all crazy." Did he say Psychology? So I had a class with him?

Great, so some of my other classmates recognize me too then. The quiet chick that went crazy that one night. They'll think I went high on PCP.

Really this information did nothing but add to my stress. Now I was on the verge of tears as I held my head in my hands, roughly scratching my hair. “Shit.”

Remember how I said it was gonna be a rollercoaster? And I haven’t even had any alcohol yet.

My mental breakdown seemed to catch Jaehyun's attention.

"Look if you're that stressed. My uncle's the head of this district's police..." He starts off.

"I can only ask him a few times, but I can ask him to waive you guys off." Sniffling, I looked up to him in broken hope. "Can you really?"

Next thing I know Jaehyun kisses my cheek and makes a call on his phone. As he was talking on the phone, I sat there like statue, mortified by the kiss. Did he normally kiss people he just met?

"I know, this'll be my last. At least for this semester. I know one of them, the one hanging off the window, yeah. Thanks, don't tell mom." After that, Jaehyun just looks back at me with a dimpled smile on his face.

"Now you won't have to worry about that anymore." He beamed. He was right, I didn't have to worry about that cause now, I had to worry about how much I owe him. And that kiss on my cheek, Jesus Christ.

I know how this worked, his favor wasn't for free.

"Your number." The phrase 'this'll be my last' particularly rang in my head, drowning me in guilt.

I was the only one whose face was caught outside the car, I could've turned myself in and not bother anyone, especially my friends.

"I said your number would make it up." Only then was I snapped out, when Jaehyun put a hand on my thigh. I flinched away from it. And he took the signal.

"If you give me your number we'll be even." Why did he want my number? Reluctantly, I gave it to him and he gave his. Not knowing where this was going I started to look for my friends in the crowd, to leave.

But before I stood up and actually leave, Jaehyun grabbed my wrist, the same dimpled smile on his face.

"I won't force you to talk to me, so I'll wait for your text first, okay? Just don't leave me hanging." He said and with that I walked away, grabbing all 3 of my drunk friends and driving us home.

His smile softened me a bit, with the two dimples that added an extra cuteness to his face. Darn he was cute.

When we got home, it was 2:48am. I got all the girls out of their clothes, forced them to shower and drink a full glass of water before doing so myself.

As I got out of the shower, I saw them giggling amongst themselves like teenagers, stopping when they saw me.

"What is it?" I walked up to them, drying my hair with my towel.

"When are you texting Jaehyun?" My best friend asked me excitedly as if she couldn't hold it in anymore. But her question honestly just reminded me about that incident. With Jaehyun.

"How do you know about that?" Brushing it off, it seems my attempt at changing the topic only made it worse. Now they started squealing while my best friend kept saying 'i told you so'.

"I told you he was into her! Why else would he go all the way around the car to ask us to his party. And through her! He was even leaning to her earlier." She said all in one breath, but not without emphasizing some specific parts.

It took me a while to realize what on earth she was talking about. And without my other friend's help, I wouldn't have.

"She's talking about how earlier Jaehyun and his friends were closer to the right side of the car and could've asked her if we wanted to go to the party because she had her window down. We all did.." I see my best friend nodding triumphantly.

"But he went all the way around the car to ask you on the other side and he was leaning in too. So we figured he liked you."

That's it? They were basing these assumptions out of that one small detail. Pssh.

"It's the small things that matter." They all tell me. Great, now I'm starting to believe it.

Just as I was about to delete his number and forget it ever happened too.

"Oh, let's all just go to sleep. We still have class tomorrow." I hurriedly downed a glass of water (but then remembering I didn't really drink tonight) and usher the girls into their rooms.

Now it was 3:16am and I was still wide awake. The past few hours felt like a dream. I held my heart and still felt the adrenaline of the party and us driving around college street with our volume maxed.

I held my phone in my hands, switched on and on Jaehyuns contact. Something in me wanted to see if he really wouldn't text me first like he said, but a bigger part was telling me to go and not leave the guy hanging.

Who am I kidding? He probably has a bunch of girls' numbers that's why he didn't want to text me first. Cause he was too busy with the others. I wouldn't be leaving him hanging.

But here I was, typing and erasing words in my phone repeatedly. A never-ending cycle. Again, a rollercoaster.

sent

would you really not text me first even if you had my number?

My heart felt like it was stuck in my throat as I threw my phone to other side of my room. Only to stand up and pick it up as I hear the familiar ding of a new message.

received

honestly, I would have. but now I'm just glad you didn't leave me hanging.

A blush was creeping up my face as I read his text. He was glad I texted him.

sent

I never really said thank you for getting your uncle to waive us. so, thank you.

God, I felt so cringey and strange.

received

you're welcome. just don't do it again because that was my last favor from him probably and you could've gotten hurt hanging off the car window like that.

Now, I really felt strange. It was something I couldn't explain, like I felt lured so much into this Jaehyun I just met. I didn't even notice the smile on my face that came up since his first text.

sent

I'm sorry I took your last :( I'll make it up however I can.

received

you can make it up by eating out with me tomorrow after classes?

sent

sure, I'll pay for wherever you want to eat

received

as a date and I'll pay. it's only right that I should

There it was again, the feeling where it felt like my heart was stuck in my throat. Anyone seeing me would think I was a maniac with how I was smiling so weirdly into my phone.

sent

alright but you choose where to eat

I texted Jaehyun so that I could fall asleep, but now it was 5:12am and the sun was starting to rise. We basically texted each other for 2 hours straight.

I knew all these stupid facts about Jaehyun now too. About how he's a music major, he had a lot of friends - 17 of them and some were still in highschool, he lived in California for 4 years - or was that Connecticut, and how he actually legally changed his name to Yoonoh but just didn't use it cause it sounded like someone else's.

received

it's 5:30 already. when's your first class?

sent

7...

received

you should go to sleep now. wouldn't want you falling asleep in class, babe.

sent

alright. goodnight, Jae.

received 

goodnight, darling. 

Babe and darling. I just met this man last night, technically, this morning. But already, Jung Jaehyun was becoming the death of me.

A/N. so my friends and i did this crazy thing where we drove around a college district at 9pm on a tuesday night, with our windows down, volume on max, and bass boosters switched on. we got in trouble but it felt so...

[stay--satan]

I could say that I'm sorry but I can't even remember how it happened - JASON TODD X READER (PART I)

Hi 👋 can you do a the 17 prompt and can it be that Jason cheated on the reader(female)?

PROMPT LIST

17. “I guess you finally did it. I’m leaving you alone” PART II HERE

WARNING: ANGST AND CHEATING 

"You don't understand Y/N, I'll hurt you like I did to everyone else" "Jason, this entire sad boy attitude is only attracting to teenagers. Drop it."

Jason and Y/N were too much complicated and long to explain in full sentence we're gonna explain in phrases about their time together

- They met in a party that they both didn't wanna go. - They gave the first kiss that night, but only met again about a month later - She held him at gunpoint when he broke in her house while wearing his Red Hood costume - "I was shot" "Goddamnit then why did you came here and not a hospital? Just because I love you doesn't make me a skilled freelancer nurse!" - She googled how to stich my boyfriend's leg and he laughed while bleeding out on her floor. It was also the first time she said I love you. - They've been together for a year and half by this time, so yeah, it took them some while. - A few weeks after this day, she noticed he started to push her away. Not showing up for their nights, not answering her calls, making up lame excuses and etc. - But hell, he didn't expect to her to come to Bruce's place with angry eyes. Now they were arguing over this.

"Look" she said already tired of that argument "I know who I am with, don't you think I've done my research? How do you think I knew you were here?" he let out a sigh "I could kicked you out after that night, but I didn't. What changes now that I know?" "Everything. I... Look at my life, Y/N! I'm a late 20's man who can't have a relationship for more than a year before start to fuck up. I'll fuck you up, and for the first time I feel like you don't deserve this" "You don't get the right to decide this by yourself, Todd!" y/n hit your fists in the table already annoyed "You're the first man that I've loved. I'm not leaving you because you had trust issues in the past" "It's more than that..." "Well, breaking news Todd, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD TO HAVE PROBLEMS. So whatever is yours, get over it." He senses the angry in the tone and decide to keep quiet.

"I'm sorry" Jason show up by her window after a day "I know I keep hitting in the same key, but you don't understand for real" "You keep saying that, but did you ever bother to explain?" And beside his huge fear over this, he did. They both sat for hours as he tells her about Robin, the Joker, the pit, the lost days, his family and everything. "Okay that seems to be a little more to process" she exhale deeply. Jason wide his eyes scared starring at her and she bursts out laughing "I'm so sorry, but that sounds like the saddest thing Bjork ever writted" she says between laughs and Jason started laugh loudly.

He tries to push her away again a few times after that day, but she always ended up at his door with angry fists. Really, she tried to punch him the other day screaming 'Wake the Fuck UP, Todd". And after a huge year, he takes her advice and get over. He lets himself for the first time to sink in a relationship that could lead to somewhere. They have fancy dinners, family reunions, he introduce to her his family (though he's really stressed out over this), invite his friends over her place (since he couldn't leave but you loved it), surprise gifts and stuff.

"Babe, could you grab my towel?" he screams over the bathroom. She didn't respond "Babe?" he steps out walking over her bedroom "Yeah, I think I'm available at night." She's over her phone, he couldn't help to just stand over her door and listen "Yeah sure, he'll not be in here I guess" He helds his breath arching his brow. What's she talking about? He doesn't have much time to think about because now she's yelling to him how wet the floor is. But that doesn't let him get over the hammer hitting in his head over that phone call. For almost every night he left for patrol, he ended up in the top of the building in front of her house looking if there wasn't something strange. Then the dates and coming over started to being delayed, she changed her hair he notices but doesn't say anything. Whenever she fell asleep, he started to look over the house something that could give away but nothing. He couldn't be that paranoid, could he? I mean, the phone calls didn't stop neither but all he could see through the days was more and more random papers over her desk with a lot of phone numbers. For a second he thought about calling one of them, but he knew her better that she would find out and kill him a second later. So he takes a break during the day and follow her car, as this was the normal thing to do. She goes first to her favorite bakery buy the usual donuts and goes straight to her work. He waits until 30 minutes later to get in the building. Fixing his hair, he makes his way though the reception grinning to the secretary. He leans down and tries to compliment her to get informations "So... Audrey?" Jason reads her tag getting back to that smile "Are you sure you can't tell me a few informations. I'm just trying to be a good friend for my pal's girlfriend" "No, Mr Grayson" she giggles letting out a blush. He wasn't that stupid to give his own name "I'm not allowed to tell you infos about our employees" "Oh c'mon Audrey, live a little" he brushs his hands over hers making her face extra red. Jason felt horrible, but it was the only way out of this "Just tell me, has Y/N L/N been talking to anyone lately?" She lets out a dramatic sigh finally spitting up "Well, I've see she has hanging out a lot with Mr Gale from 12th floor. He's kinda like her boss, I saw her leaving to the garage with him last week..." His face drops. So he was right this entire time. "... around eight. So if you're interest..." he hears her voice after processing. He just say goodbye thanking her while leading his way back to his bike.

The next seven hours felted like seven days. Jason Todd has been cheated. Of course that would happen to him, why not? Ugh, now he had to pick up his stuff at her place and go over that entire drama. But that wouldn't be his problem tonight. Picking up his jacket, he goes over that bar that he clicks into his head out of nowhere. Walking in he goest staight to the bend asking for the next 4 shots of whisky. If he couldn't handle the truth, he would drink it. "I honestly thought you wouldn't come" he hears the whiny voice coming from behind. So that's how he remembered the bar. Audrey puts her hand over his shoulder. Jason takes another shot before glancing her eyes. "You know, your pal's girlfriend I think she's finally coming clean to him tonight" frowing his brows angrily "She left early today saying that she had this huge thing to deal with her boyfriend" "Well, I guess now it's their problem" he smirks as she leaned closer.

Jason cursed himself for coming to Y/N that night, but he couldn't help the angry taking over him. Maybe if he was lucky he would catch them on act and he could prove his point. He was to drunk to care, it was 2 fucking am. Stumbling over his feet, he makes the way over the door picking up his spare key for the last time. He takes a deep breath thinking about everything he would scream to her about it and opens the door. But not in his most paranoic dreams he thought about the scene that follows.

The entire room was in flowers and candles, but not in a cheesy way, it was remarkble. Walking on a bit a wild Y/N jumps in front of him with the wildest smile "Took you long enough, hi!" she smiles and his eyes open as this was the scariest shit he had witnessed. She had a 'I'm Sorry" ballon and puts in his hand "So, I know I've been missing out lately but I didn't want to tell you before I had everything under control but..." She picks up a bottle of champagne with that huge smile still "I'm a big boss now!" she laughs over jumping in joy. Jason, still standing behind the close door, roll his eyes letting the balloon out in the air "Are you fucking kidding me?" Her smiles disappear and her entire excitment goes away "You can drop the shitty act, I know everything" he says stumbling over the words "Are you drunk?" Y/N says worried coming closer to him but he goes to the opposite direction from her "Jay, something happened?" "Yeah, it did. You fucking liar, I knew it would end this way" he points at her angrily "You blow your way up then, uh? How many?" She couldn't believe in his words, swalling the cry that was about to come out she whispers "What are you saying, Jason?" "You and that fucking piece of shit cheating on me." her eyes widened in surprise "Don't do this, I know I fucking knew it" "What the fucking are you talking about and you better have some good explanation" "Oh so now we're going to facts?" he says sarcastly walking in circles in the room "We start with the phone calls, and then the 'I'm sorry I'm late' or 'I won't make it in time' and then walking with your pimp to the garag-OUTCH" he screams holding his nose over the huge punch Y/N gave him. "HOW DARE YOU, AND HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT?" "I WENT TO YOUR JOB AND ASKED AUDREY, EVERYBODY KNEW EXCEPT FOR ME" She was so angry that she could feel every nerve of her body moving around her "Are you shitting me, Todd? He has PTSD over the accident he had years ago!" she screams her lungs out "I have been walking with him to his car over the last 4 years and he has been thinking of retiring, so I've been working like hell so he could offer me his spot." she goes over by the desk where he once saw full of papers. She picks up throwing in his face "This? These are the clients I've been talking so I could get a good reference." "wHAT ABOUT THAT CALL 'HE'LL NOT BE HERE AT NIGHT" "IT WAS ABOUT TONIGHT YOUR ASSHOLE AND I WAS TALKING TO JADE TO HELP ME PUT THIS" and suddenly, everything makes sense. If he only had asked her early. His faces drop realising the mess he made, sitting on the floor he puts his hands over his face "Jay, I know it seemed really suspicious, but you could asked me first" She says more softly walking to him "I know you have trust issues, I should be more open to that" Jason starts to cry when she puts her hand in his hair "I'm sorry about punching you, I'll go get some ice" He start to sobs louder and shake "Babe c'mon, it's okay. It was just a fight okay? We're okay" he shakes his head negatively "No, we're not" he says between the sobs "We're not" Y/N lifts his face so he could stare at her. "I fucked the secretary over the bar's bathroom" Y/N let's her face drops in shock looking for words to say "I could say that I'm sorry but I can't even remember how it happened" She just kneels putting her hands over her face and looks for air so she could speak "Ho-How could you do this?" her whisper in a voice he knew it was disapointment "You-you could have talk to me Jason, you could just..." "I know, I fucking know" he screams holding his head still "Y/N, I'm impulsive. I followed you the entire day, I had been spying this house every single night making theories, I'm so sorry" he couldn't even face her, by only hearing her heavy breathing and shaken voice "Well, Todd..." her voice comes out softly again as she stand up "You were right. You're problematic... And congrats, you did it. I'm finally leaving you alone" He stands up way to fast, Jason never felted more desperate "Y/N please please" "GET OUT, JASON" she points to the door. This was it, there was nothing he could do. He was too dirty to talk to her, with Audrey's lipstick still in his body he was too dirty to stand up and saying anything. So he just left the house and heard the huge scream the girl gave bursting out in tears. Jason Todd did it again.

[tb5-heavenward]

Harvard!Christmas - 3

Part 1 // Part 2 //

I hope you didn’t expect this to stay cute and cheerful. this is harvard, fam. i have a reputation to consider.

It's not the kitten who wakes him in the morning, but the pounding of a fist against his front door.

It's an unpleasant thing to wake up to, because it doesn't register immediately as what's woken him, and for the first few moments he doesn't connect the sound to its source. There's just a loud pounding noise and he has no idea what it is---until he does. John sits bolt upright and then scrambles out of bed, stumbling down the hallway from his bedroom and to the front door of the apartment, where he fumbles to unlock the door, without stopping to check who's there.

And he opens the door to find the building manager, yet again, only this time all the cordiality has disappeared from his manner, and his expression is taut and tense with disapproval. John's first thought is that somehow (probably owing to the few pounds of sand he'd stolen for a makeshift litterbox) the contraband kitten has been discovered, and he's being evicted, but instead the manager just holds out his phone. There's no "merry Christmas" this time, nor even a "good morning". The man's voice is flat with exaggerated patience as he says, "Your father's on the line. Apparently you haven't been picking up your phone."

The irritation of the man standing in front of him is paltry compared to the towering disapproval of the man on the other end of the line. John's only about a minute out of bed, and he's as disheveled as he ever is, still bleary-eyed from sleep and with his hair tousled and his pajamas rumpled, and in any other situation he'd be embarrassed to be caught like this in front of a semi-stranger---but the capacity for any emotion more complex than sheer horror has vanished. When the building manager gestures insistently with his phone, John's reaction is automatic and he takes it---but there's a wild moment of panic in which he wants nothing more than to throw it down the hallway, slam the door and bolt it, and then walk briskly across his apartment and straight off his fourth story balcony.

Instead he holds it up and hears the disconnected faintness of his own voice as he says, "Hello?"

"John. We've been worried about you."

Just the sound of his father's voice---separate entirely from his tone and what he's said---is enough to make John want to fall through the floor. He feels like some part of himself has detached and departed, because he can hear himself answer, but can't comprehend how he's able to say anything at all, "---I'm sorry. I-I got home really late, I just wanted to go to bed. I just---I forgot to turn my phone back on."

"This kind of irresponsibility is something I count on you not to demonstrate, John."

"I'm sorry. Dad, I---"

"When you called me yesterday, I didn't form the impression that I was the only person who'd been told you were heading back to Boston. No one else knew where you'd gone. You'd been missing for hours with no word to your brothers, to my mother---by the time I got home, they were getting ready to start calling hospitals. And no further word from you until now? Because I contacted your landlord, on Christmas morning?"

John feels himself cringe, and distantly notices the way that the building manager is staring at him, watching the half of the conversation that he's privy to. He should probably be at least vaguely horrified by this, but he can't even bring himself to properly register the man's continued presence. All that matters is his father's voice on the line, his expectant silence as he waits for an explanation. There's no point in trying to justify himself, all he can do is stammer out another useless apology, "I'm sorry."

This isn't what his father wants. "I'm not especially interested in your apology, John. But later today you will be calling your grandmother, to tell her how sorry you are for frightening her, and your little brother, who held out hope that you would be back by Christmas morning. I don't know when I've ever been so disappointed in your behaviour. I expect much, much better from you."

That's always been true, and John's always known that it's true, but hearing it stated when he knows he's failed to meet that expectation makes him want to die. "Yes, sir."

"Apologize to your building manager for the trouble you've put him to on Christmas Day. Charge your phone. I'd better hear that you've spoken to your brothers and your grandmother before the end of today. Goodbye."

It's abrupt, but maybe that's merciful, really. John plummets back into the present and manages not to break down in the hallway in front of his building manager. He hands the man's phone back, uncomfortably conscious of the way he's being looked at, the way the man's irritation has melted into something like pity. "I'm very sorry for the intrusion," John says, and can't even manage to wish that he sounded sincere, instead of just hollow and perfunctory, as though he's only apologizing because he's been told to. He wonders if the other half of the conversation had been audible at all, in the way that phone conversations sometimes are. He hopes not.

"Honest mistake," the manager says quickly, and then briefly, impulsively, pats John's shoulder. "Glad there was nothing wrong. I think it's just that you gave your family a bit of a scare, is all. But it all worked out. Merry Christmas."

"Same to you," John answers numbly, and then closes the door.

His phone waits where he left it, in the pocket of his discarded coat, over by the radiator.

[19 missed calls]

Scott

[24/12/2055 06:38:02 Scott: hey jaybird, where'd you go?]

[24/12/2055 06:38:41 Scott: al says you probably went to cool off some place, you maybe wanna let me know where?]

[24/12/2055 07:02:20 Scott: virgil's dealing with gordon]

[24/12/2055 07:05:13 Scott: I'm sorry about gordon, he wasn't supposed to fly out on his own. he was supposed to show up with dad to keep him in line.]

[24/12/2055 08:12:29 Scott: look i know you're mad but don't do this shit johnny, it's christmas]

[24/12/2055 08:41:48 Scott: John seriously. Pick up your phone.]

[24/12/2055 09:30:58 Scott: Dad is gonna be landing at the airport in an hour John, I do not want to tell him that we can't fucking find you.]

[24/12/2055 09:35:17 Scott: if you've crashed your stupid rental car into a ditch on some stupid backroad john I'm personally gonna haul you out and kick your ass the whole way back home]

[24/12/2055 09:36:11 Scott: I didn't mean that. Sorry. Please just pick your phone up.]

[24/12/2055 09:59:01 Scott: okay well we're gonna start calling the hospitals/highway patrol/the fucking cops in a minute here john, so if you're just being an ass now would be a real good time to fucking quit it]

[24/12/2055 10:25:31 Scott: okay. talked to dad. he's furious, by the way. so that's fun. thanks for that. sometimes I literally just cannot fucking believe you. merry goddamn christmas, John.]

Virgil

[24/12/2055 06:20:52 Virgil: okay, i'm really really sorry about Gordon. he was supposed to fly in with dad. I'm not going to make any excuses. He's way out of line.]

[24/12/2055 06:21:04 Virgil: if you've gone for a drive because you need some time to cool off that's fine, but don't do anything stupid like turn your phone off, okay?]

[24/12/2055 06:21:43 Virgil: like I know you do that when you're pissed and you have every right to be pissed but we live in the middle of nowhere and the roads aren't great out here and everybody would feel better if you kept your phone on.]

[24/12/2055 06:34:49 Virgil: also please text me back.]

[24/12/2055 07:46:18 Virgil: John, you've been gone for an hour and a half and nobody knows where. Grandma's really worried.]

[24/12/2055 07:46:31 Virgil: if you make my Grandma cry on Christmas Eve, J, then you and me are gonna have a problem]

[24/12/2055 08:50:18 Virgil: look john, if you're reading these, then at least acll Alan, he's freaking out. you're actually scaring the shit out of him. the poor kid pretty much worships you and you go and pull something like this. at christmas. come the fuck on johnny.]

[24/12/2055 09:15:27 Virgil: okay. your phone is off.]

[24/12/2055 09:42:53 Virgil: I mean at this point I think Scott's actually hoping that you're upside down in a ditch somewhere because if you're ignoring texts and calls like this, he's legitimately gonna kick your ass until you die.]

[24/12/2055 10:01:45 Virgil: we've gotta call dad. like, this is the warning. i think we've been kinda covering for you in case this is just a stupid tantrum, but it's been three hours now john. please just answer somebody.]

[24/12/2055 10:02:04 Virgil: if something's happened to you then we need to start doing something, and dad literally has enough pull to have the entire county searched from orbit.]

[24/12/2055 10:02:24 Virgil: I don't know if you realize how scary this actually is.]

[24/12/2055 10:45:08 Virgil: Okay. so, you've just left the fucking state. you're not dead. when dad gets ahold of you you're maybe gonna wish you were. but i guess I'm trying to be glad you're okay.

[24/12/2055 11:21:38 Virgil: all right well whenever you get this. Probably when you get back to Boston. I don't know what to tell you, other than that I can't actually decide if I'm madder at you or at gordon. you've both been total fucking jackasses and this shit can't continue. you're as bad as each other. I don't think we've had a christmas this bad since Mom died.]

[24/12/2055 11:22:01 Virgil: maybe think about that.]

Alan

[24/12/2055 06:44:19 Alan: gordon's super drunk and he's being really really dumb. virg and scotty are gonna cover for him but they shouldn't. i totally don't blame you for leaving. i wish i could leave too.]

[24/12/2055 07:01:36 Alan: when you come back we should go hang out in the barn. one of the barn cats had kittens over the summer and they're all still around]

[24/12/2055 07:01:44 Alan: they're cute]

[24/12/2055 07:28:53 Alan: scotty took the truck to go look for you, but i think that's probably kind of stupid. it's dark and the roads are pretty bad.]

[24/12/2055 08:02:14 Alan: virgil put gordon to bed and told me to tell dad he has food poisoning. stupid gordon.]

[24/12/2055 08:21:45 Alan: I think grandma's kind of upset.]

[24/12/2055 09:07:19 Alan: did you see the geminids this year? it was too cloudy here, but i checked the weather near Boston and it was supposed to be clear]

[24/12/2055 09:12:32 Alan: i guess it's hard to get out to anywhere with dark enough skies if you don't have a car]

[24/12/2055 09:33:41 Alan: do you miss driving? i'm excited to learn. Grandma let's me back the truck out sometimes. virg said he'd teach me when I'm old enough.]

[24/12/2055 10:01:27 Alan: are you gonna be home soon? everybody's kind of worried.]

[24/12/2055 10:40:49 Alan: dad says you had to go back to Boston for school stuff. I guess it was important.]

[25/12/2055 12:01:02 Alan: merry christmas, johnny]

John turns his phone off again.

[raefill]

I would legit love to hear you answers to every single question. I don't know if you feel like actually doing them all, but if you did... I'm JUST SAYING I'D READ THE ANSWERS, ok.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?Yeaaaah but my romantic prospects are pretty bleak tbh, I graduate and move away in a few months

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?No, not really. But I’m not mad about it anymore.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”CUTE BABY CLOSE BY !!!!!!!!!

4: What’s something you really want right now?to cry, i’m having the big sads

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?always

6: Do you like the beach?i love the beach!!!!!!!!! i grew up in a seaside town, the beach feels like the best parts of home

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?yes ?? it was cramped and uncomfortable 

8: What’s the background on your cell?the photo of me, san, kahl, chez, frau, bagel and spags in the louvre

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?mine(right now), Thea’s, Lizzie’s, .. Keir’s?

10: Do you like your phone?yeah but i’d like it more if the screen wasn’t so cracked

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?lol no, it’s definitely not

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?i genuinely don’t remember !

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?rottweiler, i love dogs that look a little mean but have big hearts

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?pffffft, that’s hard to answer but i’d say generally emotional, most of the time it’s harder to get rid of emotional pain

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?both ?! i want to support the breeding of endangered animals that happens in zoos and see the cute animals but also i love a good rembrandt ?!

16: Are you tired?exhausted

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?since i was born

18: Are they a relative?my mother!

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?not a fucking chance

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?a few hours ago, i think

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?i don’t believe there’s a way to know nor do i think love works that way

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?hell yeah i would

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?none!

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?“if you make bad choices, own them” - my dad 

25: What’s on your mind?god, everything, idk im having a high key anxiety day

26: Do you have any tattoos?one pretty big one on my thigh

27: What is your favorite color?black !!!!!!!!!!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?maybe tomorrow, we’ll see how it goes

29: Who are you texting?uhhh, no one? everyone is asleep

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?yes

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?all the time, my gut rarely lies

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?yes, his name is keir and he’s one of my best friends

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?i mean i’m dating someone so i fucking hope so

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?no ? i dont think ? i’ve had people say they’re big or the colour is interesting but idk

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?i’d cheer her on

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?yes

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?yes!

38: What do your friends call you?rae ?

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?yes

40: Have you ever cried over a text?pffft, yah

41: Where’s your last bruise located?my knee

42: What is it from?i fell over my own computer chair

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?today

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my mum, i think

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?not right now, most i just wear my plain black docs

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?no, i just tie is back

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?no, i really dont like my ears, idk why

48: Do you make supper for your family?yeah, my mum and step dad can’t cook

49: Does your bedroom have a door?ofc it does? what kind of bedroom doesn’t have a door? get these pretentious loft bedrooms out of my face

50: Top 3 web-pages?tumblr, ao3, youtube

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?plenty!

52: Does anything on your body hurt?period pains are all the rage today

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?yeah but i don’t tend to cry until they’ve already left so i look like i take them just fine

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?water......... this morning

55: How is your hair?fine? a bit damaged from the cold weather

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?wish i was still asleep

57: Do you think two people can last forever?yes

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?i dont fucking know

59: Green or purple grapes?GREEN or get out of my face

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?tomorrow~

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?yes

62: When will be the next time you text someone?tomorrow!

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?probably in bed still, but asleep

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.sleeping

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?no, i was getting over the end of a four year relationship

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?no

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?no

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?this sucks

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?many times

70: How many windows are open on your computer?ten! and they’re mostly your fics corey, go figure

71: How many fingers do you have?ten

72: What is your ringtone?i dont know, my phone is always on silent

73: How old will you be in 5 months?22 ~

74: Where is your Mum right now?sleeping in bed probably, idfk, she lives hours away

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?we grew up and grew apart but we were still okay until i had about four-six months of depression where i had to stop myself from doing something stupid daily and he didn’t notice despite us living together and sharing a bedroom (and those times i told him and he shrugged)

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?yes

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?yes! i still love them very much

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?annabelle

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?yes, there’s some grad students in the psych department called mike, they all look kinda the same too

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?yeah, i miss being able to do that regularly

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?more than i can count, my polyamorous ass has a crush on about seven people currently

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?no

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?i’m talking to one of them

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?i’d literally never do this

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?depends which drugs and how often, no one cares about a joint every few months

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?i spilled my popcorn and managed to hide that i had spilled it from my date pahaha

87: Who was your last received call from?my mum, wow it sounds like i talk to my mum a lot more than i do

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?yes, i hate bugs, give me the money

89: What is something you wish you had more of?time, energy, patience, money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?no, i’m not someone who trusts easily

91: Do you sleep with your window open?only in the summer

92: Do you get along with girls?yes, anyone that doesn’t get on with someone because of their gender is an asshole

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?nope

94: Does sex mean love?hell no, it can be an expression of it but no

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?yeah she wold be freaking the fuck out because she’s locked in a room!

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?no, actually, i haven’t

97: Did you sleep alone this week?yes

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?yes ? 

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?no, not at all

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?one of my besties, holly

[overlord-off-record]

Looking for something to cheer me up. I’m not sure this is it. Anyway, more of that poison series. 3/?

---

In general, Gil had a tendency to avoid official functions. Perhaps he instinctively shunned the social set that once rejected him. Perhaps he truly preferred the company of the lowlifes of Paris. Perhaps he simply lacked the attention span to tolerate any of it. Whatever the case, when Tarvek saw him decorating Colette's arm, his eyebrows rose in a silent question. She smirked at him. Of course she did.

Tarvek watched Gil meander here and there, chatting with professors, with dignitaries, even with the Master of Paris himself. As though he belonged. As though some of these selfsame people had not treated him cruelly in childhood. Gil behaved as though it had never happened, which made Tarvek's chest ache. He watched Gil charm his childhood bullies, who also acted like they had always been friends. That part made Tarvek angry.

So he sulked in silence, trying not to glare when Gil laughed with a man who had once stolen his books, mocked him, called him nothing but Nameless. Well, the Nameless boy had grown into the Master's pet, and everyone knew at least that much. They would never dare bully him now. Gil no longer needed Tarvek.

"You look like you're chewing a mouthful of burnt coffee grounds."

Tarvek glanced at Colette. Of course she had found him. "Isn't he supposed to be yours for the evening?" he said, gesturing toward Gil. "Maybe you could keep him from setting something on fire?"

"We both know that there's no stopping him when he decides a situation needs a little fire."

Tarvek scoffed. "A little?" he said, and Colette laughed.

"Well, maybe more than a little. What about you?" She gave him an arch look. "Don't tell me you came by yourself. How unfashionable!"

"Worse. I've brought my cousin."

"Which one?" A reasonable note of alarm crept into Colette's voice. Tarvek believed that his family ought to alarm most people.

"Seffie," he said with a grin. "She can't have gone far."

Much to her credit, Colette's stare was steady as stone. "You assume I have something to say to her?"

"Oh, of course not."

"Of course not," Colette echoed, utterly lacking conviction. She patted Tarvek on the arm. "Don't pine all evening. It's terrible for the digestion." With that, she drifted away, leaving Tarvek with little else to do.

He watched Gil perhaps a bit too closely, for otherwise he never would have seen what happened. Gil drifted over to a knot of people, where he set his beverage down beside Seffie's. He talked in an animated manner, gesticulating and bouncing on the balls of his feet. Everyone watched him, rapt until he had finished explaining. Seffie sidled closer to him, but Gil evaded neatly when she made a subtle grab for his arm. He picked up Seffie's glass rather than his own, saluted the assembled company with it, and wandered away.

Tarvek watched Colette slip into the cluster of people around Seffie for just a moment before drifting off to talk to someone else. Then his stare returned to Gil, and he frowned.

Gil wobbled. Then he lifted the empty glass in his hand, frowned at it, and tucked it into a potted pyracantha. Tarvek moved to intercept him.

"You idiot," he hissed as he bumped up against Gil's side. "What was in Seffie's glass?"

"Dunno…" For a moment, his tone sounded like denial. Then he added, "Thought it was poison."

Tarvek processed this information. Stupid, apparently suicidal Gil stared at him, eyes wide and pupils dilated, making his brain turn in several useless circles before accomplishing any reliable thought. Who had attempted to drug Seffie? To what end? Why had Gil caught it instead of Varpa? Frowning, Tarvek glanced around. Where was Varpa, anyway? "Did you see who did it?"

"Oh, yes." Gil nodded in an odd, liquid way, as though his head might slide off his neck. "Can't give chase. A pity."

"Can you name the culprit?"

"Ummm… no." Gil beamed as though he knew Tarvek found his smile adorable. Dammit.

"Describe him," Tarvek said through his teeth.

Gil tried to gesture and succeeded at a loose flailing motion. "Big ugly sod."

"Oh, for pity's sake," Tarvek complained, when Gil added:

"Kinda seemed to like the color purple."

Oh. Of course. Family business. That still didn't clear up who would have tried to drug Seffie, but Tarvek could assume that he himself may also be a target. And Varpa could be incapacitated somewhere nearby, for all he really knew. Tarvek grimaced. "Come on," he said, trying to steer Gil away from the potted plants. "We need to find Colette. Now."

"Nuh-huh." Gil trundled along, yielding to the pressure of Tarvek's hand on his back. "Colette can catch him."

Probably not, but Tarvek didn't say so. "You're hopeless, you know that? I mean, I get why you'd swap glasses, but why would you actually drink it?"

"Seemed like the thing to do," Gil said with a sudden steadiness that Tarvek found unnerving. Then his steps faltered, and he started to hum softly.

"You're an idiot." Spotting Colette, Tarvek propelled Gil toward her. "And you're going to die of your stupidity one day. Mademoiselle Voltaire, forgive me, but I'm going to have to steal your alleged gentleman."

"Permanently, I hope?" Colette's grin faded when she looked at Gil. "Oh, what is it this time?"

Tarvek kept his expression relaxed, though his tone turned grim. "Drugged." He turned to Gil. "You're certain it's not poison?" Briefly, he made a mental list of the antidotes in his pockets.

"Oh, no, this stuff is weird. Psychotropic? I think that's the right word."

Tarvek let Gil lean against him, but he pointed in accusation. "He drank it on purpose. He thought it was poison. That's not just Mad, that's insane!" But he was getting off topic. "This drug, whatever it is, was meant for Seffie. Would you mind—"

"Keeping an eye on her?" Colette nodded. "Consider it done."

"Yes, you're a good egg," Gil said to Colette, grinning. Then he turned his guileless smile on Tarvek. "And you're… structural."

"I suppose that's a compliment," Tarvek grumbled. Colette waved them away.

"Go on. Take him home to sleep it off. I suppose you'll be noble about it."

Tarvek tried to peer down at Gil, who was listing at a precarious angle, sliding downward as he did. In ridiculous slow motion, he ended with his face against Tarvek's neck.

"Structural," Gil mumbled, muffled in Tarvek's collar.

"I'm sure." Tarvek began to doubt whether he could get Gil to walk under his own power. "I'm going to need that empty glass."

"Fern," Gil said with a vague gesture that nearly displaced an entire tray of drinks.

"Pyracantha," Tarvek corrected.

"Whatever."

Colette shook her head at them. "Go," she repeated. Then she craned her neck, looking around for Seffie.

"Look, I think we won't draw too much attention if you just pretend to be drunk. Think you can manage—As a matter of public record," Tarvek interrupted himself, "I need to know: Are you licking me, or are you drooling on me?"

"Mmph," Gil replied. The sound vibrated on Tarvek's skin, and he flinched away.

"Walk." Taking Gil by the shoulders, Tarvek frog-marched him back to the potted plants. "We're arguing because you're drunk again."

"Are we?" Gil gazed at him, eyes wide and a little misty.

Tarvek growled and dragged a hand down his own face in exasperation. "That's our cover," he hissed through his teeth. "Can you manage that?"

"Oh, I'm pretty good at making you yell at me." Gil's head bobbed in that odd, boneless way again. Tarvek wanted to reach out and steady it.

"That's because you're an idiot! It's for your own good."

Gil beamed at him. "Oh, are we playing now?"

While making a noise of frustration, Tarvek reached into the pyracantha and retrieved the empty glass. "We are most certainly not playing. I can't let you embarrass yourself in front of… these people." He slipped the glass into his coat pocket.

"What, them?" Gil made a rude noise and a dismissive gesture.

"Yes, them!" Tarvek felt a wave of genuine irritation. "People I've protected you from before! Or don't you remember?"

Gil went sullen and quiet. "Of course I remember." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and hunched his shoulders, which somehow caused him to list dangerously to one side. Tarvek moved to prop him up.

"So we're leaving. Right now."

Gil yielded like overcooked pasta when Tarvek steered him toward the nearest exit, but he still voiced protests. "I'm fine," he insisted. "I want… wanted them to see me. To see that they don't matter now. That I'm…"

"The Sparkiest Spark they've ever met?"

"Hah, something like that." Gil gave him a small smile. Cool night air rushed over them as they stepped out onto the street.

"That supposes that they've never actually spoken to the Master," Tarvek pointed out. He considered transportation. Anything with a driver would constitute too great a hazard with Gil in this state. Anyway, it was a nice evening for a walk. Gil mumbled something that might have been agreement, and he leaned against Tarvek. Structural. Tarvek tried not to smile.

They walked in silence for a while, with Gil's arm looped somehow beneath Tarvek's coat. Tarvek pretended not to notice. Gil sagged and made small noises, possibly incomprehensible commentary. Tarvek tried to steady him, but they both stumbled, and he had to focus on his own footing. They blundered to a standstill.

"You boys have had too much!" called a pedestrian from across the street. Tarvek waved in acknowledgment of the comment.

"Tell him I'm not drunk," Gil whispered, and Tarvek shook his head. They continued onward. Another two blocks, and Gil's face went white with alarm. "Oh! Don't take me home. I… lost my keys."

"Lost?" Tarvek challenged the transparent lie.

Gil giggled. "Well, they were eaten by a hippo with mechanical legs. It's a long story."

"You are absolutely pathetic."

"Is that an endearment?"

Impaired Gil was growing entirely too savvy. Tarvek scowled at him. "You're an idiot."

"Who isn't?" With that, Gil proceeded to hum a cheery tune for another block and a half. Then he abruptly stopped. "Look, I know you're a terrible sneaky sneak," he said, "but you're a good friend to Colette. I appreciate that."

"Well, I'm not doing it for you," Tarvek scoffed.

"Oh. Um." Gil started to shuffle his feet. "You're not, um… You don't—"

"We're friends," Tarvek interrupted firmly. "No more than than." When Gil looked visibly relieved, he added, "You're not in love with her yourself, are you?" It seemed half of Paris was.

"Me? Oh, no. No," Gil repeated, sounding terribly sad. "I don't think I have the capacity to… to care about somebody in that way."

Trying to crush the wave of despair within him, Tarvek reached into his pocket for his keys. "No? You're probably just too busy trying to die in messy ways."

"Death is always messy," Gil replied, sounding eerily lucid again. Then he tilted his head and peered up the steps ahead of them. "Where are we?"

"My rooms."

"Rooms? Plural? Oh, that's fancy-pants." Gil lurched to the side, and Tarvek had to drag him back.

"I have no idea how you manage to survive without private lab space." If Tarvek could have shied from the hand on the small of his back, he would have. Instead, he used Gil's grip on him for leverage to drag him up the stairs.

Gil's grip on his waistband.

Tarvek fumbled his keys against the lock. How had Gil managed to get his hand beneath a well-fitted waistcoat? A silk shirt was not barrier enough between them. Tarvek tried to pretend it was.

"Having difficulty?" Gil needled.

Absolutely, yes. Without comment, Tarvek unlocked the door and led the way inside, disarming every trap as he went. It really wouldn't do to have Gil setting them off.

"Ooh…" Of course Gil released him and made for the lab equipment.

"Don't break my glassware." Tarvek took the glass from his pocket and swabbed the interior of it. "And don't steal my reagents," he added, snatching a bottle from Gil's hand.

"I'm not stealing." Gil propped his chin on Tarvek's shoulder, watching with rapt attention as he performed a quick analysis of the residue in the glass. His sigh tickled Tarvek's ear. "What… what is that incredible smell? Spice and something… some kind of resin?"

A swift blush burned Tarvek's cheeks, and he felt deep gratitude that Gil could not see his face. "Hair oil. I'm trying out a new formulation."

"It's good."

Tarvek made a small noise of agreement. He hated that Gil could affect him so easily, so carelessly. He hated it, but… Well, even if Gil never mentioned it again, Tarvek decided to keep that particular set of fragrances in his hair oil.

They leaned against one another in silence until Tarvek had the results he sought. "I know this drug," he grumbled, pushing Gil away so he could stand. "It causes brief unconsciousness—twenty minutes to an hour." He arched an eyebrow at Gil. "The dosage was obviously calculated for Seffie's body mass. Then," he continued, "the mark spills his guts for up to four hours, and forgets everything after sleeping it off."

"Huh," Gil said. Very helpful.

"So this must be the part where I get to interrogate you."

He had been joking, but Gil surprised Tarvek by saying, "Oh, no, I'll do the interrogating, thanks."

Tarvek laughed. "Sure, but I'm not the one who's drugged." He dropped himself into a wheeled chair and rolled dramatically away from Gil, arms spread in a gesture of invitation. "Take your best shot."

"Why do you hate me?"

Tarvek blinked at him. "I don't hate you." Not even close. "You frustrate me. You infuriate me." Sometimes even terrify. "But you have yet to inspire true hatred."

Gil bounced in place, which looked wildly unsteady. At least if he collapsed here, Tarvek needn't carry him anywhere. "Do you hate anyone?"

"Loads of people." Almost all of them family.

"Good."

Tarvek chuckled. "You're severely impaired, you know that?"

"I'm asking the questions," Gil objected. "What was I asking?"

"You asked about hate. I can only assume love comes next." Oh, now, why had he said that? Disgruntled with himself, Tarvek glared defiance at Gil.

"Good, yes, good." Gil nodded on every word. "What does love feel like?"

Not the question Tarvek had expected. "Torture," he said, not recognizing the blunder until it was too late.

Gil's eyes narrowed, shrewd and a little too lucid again. Then he resumed smiling. "Surely you of all people enjoy romance. Wine and poetry and flowers and all?"

More like incendiary devices and madcap chases through Paris. Tarvek shook his head. "I assume it's more fun when received with at least a bit of interest," he said, feeling bitter and cagey.

"You're Sparky and royal, and you're well groomed and always fashionable. You must not have confessed your intentions."

If Tarvek had been standing, he would have had to sit. Gil considered him desirable, at least to other people. What an unexpected lift to his self esteem! "You sound entirely too sure of that."

"Come on, there's no reason not to." Gil tried for a challenging stare, but ruined it by wobbling.

There were a thousand reasons not to. Tarvek sighed. "You can't know…"

"I'm sure you can do it," Gil interrupted. "You were brave enough to befriend me once. Just say: 'hey, I fancy you, and I'd like to kiss you.' See what happens."

Tarvek made his expression as blank as he could. "Hey. I fancy you, and I'd like to kiss you."

Beaming, Gil managed to lean in to thump him on the shoulder. "That's the ticket! Now you just need to go and find this—" He frowned. "Girl? Boy? I probably should have asked."

Tarvek swallowed an urge to cry, swallowed every hollow, aching heartbeat. "It doesn't matter," he said, shaking his head. "I'll have to marry someone appropriate, so it's pointless anyway."

"Oho, so Tarvek loves someone beneath his station!" Gil grinned at him. "Good. Most royals are duller than a rubber knife."

"Do you want to get punched?"

"I'm asking the questions," Gil reminded him again, with a glint of glee in his grin.

Tarvek lifted his hands in a gesture of mock surrender. "Ask," he said, though he felt surly and disinclined to answer anything else.

"What's stopping you from confessing your feelings?"

A good question. Tarvek eyed Gil with a wry twist to his lips. "Too many factors." How often had he weighed the warmth of Gil's lips against the dangers from his family? How often had he wondered just how hard Gil would hit him for making any overtures of romance? No, he decided now, Gil would not hit him. Gil would just stare in empty, blank confusion. Would that hurt worse? Probably. He sighed. "I know you can't understand, but it's just not safe."

Gil gestured at himself. "Drugged because of your family," he pointed out, and Tarvek frowned.

"Did I ever say it was family business?" he said, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"It-s y'r cousin's drink," Gil slurred. He swayed dangerously far to the left. Then, taking several slow, deep breaths, he righted himself. "Where were we?"

"I cannot believe you're doing this."

"Answer," Gil demanded, Sparky notes creeping into his voice. Tarvek eyed him with curiosity. Did this conversation really matter to him? Even knowing that he would forget everything?

"You think my romantic challenges can be easily resolved." Tarvek arched an eyebrow at Gil. "You're an idiot, but I appreciate that you mean well."

"I like you being honest. Why don't you do that more often?"

"You really want me to get killed, don't you? It's not safe," he said before Gil could chide him for asking another question. "I'm surprised you haven't realized that by now."

"You're better than you think you are." Gil's head bobbed in unstable assurance.

"Not as good as I should be," Tarvek grumbled. In so many ways, he failed his own expectations.

Gil stared at him, head tilting this way and that, somewhat like a bird. "What do you expect of yourself?"

Tarvek looked away. "I don't know… Heroics? Noble character?" He shrugged and shook his head. "To earn my birthright?" Really, it was a good question.

Gil leaned over him, hands clasped behind his back, grinning. He stayed like that until Tarvek scowled.

"What?"

"You're a romantic. One day, when you rule Sturmhalten…" Gil paused for long enough that Tarvek began to hope he might be trying to say something nice. "You'll grow disillusioned with the minutiae of governance and start feeding lawbreakers to the meanest monster you can find," he concluded with a sagely nod.

"What the hell!" Tarvek yelped. "Where would you even get that idea?"

"I've watched it happen. It's tragic. You're doomed." This last Gil delivered with a beatific smile.

"You're an idiot."

"Maybe, but not about this." Gil turned in a slow circle, bobbling as he went. He waved his arms loosely, and he gave a heartfelt sigh. "I really wish you and I were still friends." He stilled and he stared, his head sagged a little to one side.

"We would have ruined it by now anyway," Tarvek said. Probably owing to his own hopeless infatuation.

"Mmh," was Gil's noncommittal reply. He faltered, his leg muscles suddenly going loose like aspic jelly. Stage three. Despite his previous determination to allow this fool to collapse on the floor, Tarvek moved to catch him.

"Look at you. You're a mess." Tarvek looked down at the hand on the center of his chest, and his grip tightened on Gil's arms. No, it wasn't Gil who was a mess here. In this moment, Gil was blameless of everything but hanging on the brink of consciousness.

"Nnuh?" Gil sagged more, and Tarvek tried to consider the logistics of dragging or propelling him to the bed in the next room. Instead, he watched Gil's tongue roll out to moisten parched lips, and he let out an involuntary groan. Gil froze, as much as one could freeze while losing a fight for balance. "Wha's wrong?"

Wrong. There was no way Gil could be that much of an innocent. "I really want to kiss you right now."

"What?" Gil's eyes widened a moment before going unfocused. "Why…?"

He slumped in Tarvek's arms, unconscious.

Well.

Annoyed, Tarvek dragged Gil into the bedroom. "'Why,'" he grumbled, bitterness in every breath. "Because it's you, you complete imbecile. You're heavier than you look, you know. Are you… are you snoring?" He heaved Gil onto the bed. "Of course you are."

He hesitated for a moment before he loosened the fastenings of Gil's clothes. Surely that didn't count as taking advantage. He pulled the blankets up and he tucked them around Gil, who sighed and rubbed his feet together in his sleep. Feet never lie.

"Oh, what the hell." Tarvek leaned down one more time, and he pressed a swift, heartfelt kiss to Gil's forehead. "At least one of us is getting some sleep tonight." As much as it hurt, he turned away.

On the way out, Tarvek put a few drops of his hair oil into a warmer. He knew it was self-indulgent, but he wanted Gil to wake up to the fragrance. He locked up, and he stepped back out into the night.

Without Gil leaning on him, encumbering him, Tarvek quickly retraced his steps. He arrived back at the reception in time to see Seffie and Colette leaving together, laughing about something. The both seemed fine. Relieved, Tarvek skulked in the shadows, watching them. When he thought Seffie was too far to hear, he whistled five soft notes.

Varpa appeared, disgruntled and disheveled. "Your Highness?"

Tarvek rolled his shoulders, affecting an attitude of annoyance to cover his genuine concern. "I have a libertine in my bed right now, sleeping off a dose of Spill-All σ2. He… drooled on my collar. I want to know what happened. A full report by dawn."

Varpa, who looked to have had a rough night so far, tried to disguise exasperation with a small bow. "Sire." With that, the Smoke Knight vanished into the night.

Varpa would tell him. Oh, no, not everything, not even close. But enough that he could start unraveling the threads of this latest intrigue. And if he was exceptionally lucky, Gil might even stay out of the way this time.

Tarvek scoffed at himself. He was never, ever lucky.