#i'm not sure why i wrote this

[lizhly-writes]

redacted for WIP Wednesday please

you got it!

.

The Peak Lords of An Ding and Bai Zhan were married.

Shang Qinghua did not write this. The barest hint of a thought had crossed his mind, when he had paired up Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge in a poorly-thought-out energy-drink-fueled fugue, but then he'd gotten distracted trying to figure out some historically-accurate energy drink equivalent, and well, that was that. Thought gone. Poof. Vanished.

Now, it had come back to haunt him.

Turned out, in Shizun's time, there had been a record number of disciples lost on standard supply trips. Obviously, An Ding needed further protection, and who better to do the protection than Bai Zhan? That was why the head disciples of that generation had been engaged.

It had turned out... weirdly well?

Shang Qinghua wasn't sure that Shizun was in love or anything like that, but he certainly liked the Peak Lord of Bai Zhan. That friendly and productive working relationship had echoed down into the disciples. The disciples were friends. An Ding disciples cheered on and supplied Bai Zhan disciples against different Peaks. Bai Zhan disciples chased down their sectmates for An Ding paperwork. You rarely saw an An Ding disciple wander around without a Bai Zhan disciple close by, and vice versa.

Even Shang Qinghua, who... was not great at making friends, had some random Bai Zhan disciple he didn't know stop in the middle of what they were doing to accompany him on some random errand. Shang Qinghua had felt oddly like some fainting maiden getting escorted by a chivalrous knight. It wasn't just him; this seemed to be how a significant portion of An Ding felt about Bai Zhan. A significant portion of that portion used it for romantic fuel.

In this sort of environment, it wouldn't be weird if the An Ding and Bai Zhan head disciples were engaged again. This was the common perception of pretty much all of the An Ding and Bai Zhan disciples, a lot of which... knew each other on a deeper level, let's say!

Which was why, even though Shang Qinghua knew he'd written a marriage to Yue Qingyuan, 60% of him expected Shizun to say, "You'll be engaged to Liu Qingge."

[frazzledsoul]

A while back @saltygilmores directed me to an AYITL era interview with Milo I thought was interesting. Milo had infamously said on a talk show (Jimmy Fallon, I think) that it mattered less if Jess were "Team Jess" than if Jess were "Team Rory". I thought that meant that Jess would be supportive of whatever was best for Rory, but....

...it appears that's maybe not exactly what he meant. Milo doesn't encourage the ship because he doesn't think Rory would be good for Jess because of how she hurt him in the past. Also he would rather have you talk about whatever he's working on now and please shut up about the baby daddy questions, please.

There's been a lot of speculation (here and elsewhere) on Milo coming back to film a Literati-centered sequel to AYITL over the years. I've heard it said often here that Milo was unhappy that Jess didn't win the ship war. I was told so many times over the years that Milo and Amy were just waiting for This Is Us to finish so they could film a follow-up, that Milo intentionally planned for The Company We Keep to be a one-season show so he could run back and film AYITL 2, etc. but the truth is....he's not a shipper. He thinks it was great that Jess went off and became a better person and formed a great life on his own and was an inspiration to Rory to change her own life. But he doesn't think it's in Jess's best interest to reconcile with her. He wants him to keep his own happy ending, where he's happy and mature and well-adjusted. And he's right.

I think recently with the proliferation of podcasts and clickbait media writing about the show that AYITL is seen as something that's not quite canon, and people have given up on the sequel. Which I actually think is a positive development. There have been rumors that Milo wouldn't film any romantic scenes with Alexis in AYITL, that Alexis shut down AYITL 2 talks because she didn't want to be involved in it...all of that is neither here or there, because I think everyone's accepted that it's over. So the story won't be concluded any more than it already has been, except in our heads.

As for Jess, the insistence that he's the sole threat to Rory's well-being the first time he tries to reconcile with her and that he's the destructive or morally inferior force that's going to bring her down is a very inaccurate interpretation of the situation. Running away together was not a good idea, but neither was Rory sleeping with a married man and helping destroy someone else's marriage...and she is primarily so cruel and dismissive of Jess because she's hurtling towards that adulterous affair that she imagines will validate and affirm her and Jess is going to get in the way. Just because Dean lied and manipulated her into it doesn't mean what she was doing wasn't already wrong, nor does it excuse her actions or the fact that she didn't regret what she did for years. The fact that she didn't make this mistake single-handedly doesn't mean she wasn't responsible for her role in it.

So, yes, she hurt him instead of gently saying no and backing away from Dean before anyone else got damaged by her behavior with him. He took that hurt and made a great life for himself but when he meets her again on fresh terms as an adult and she uses him again...yeah, it's not in his best interest to try again unless Rory has changed her behavior and isn't going to use him as one more competing figure in her endless love triangles. He changed and she didn't, at least not in the way that would make him believe he could trust her again.

Which doesn't mean they can't be friends in the meantime or that she's not capable of changing....but it has not happened yet, and as long as ASP is in charge it won't, because she doesn't believe in character development for her main characters. So I think Milo was on the right track with his thinking on this one. Jess shouldn't reconcile with Rory until she's grown up enough to be good for him. I do imagine it happens because I believe change is possible...but it shouldn't happen until there is some serious character growth on her part.

Jess should not have to atone forever for the shit he did in high school, and Rory is not some blameless dream girl who wasn't capable of inflicting serious emotional damage on her own, often in very cruel and catastrophic ways. And as she grew older, the damage she did (or tried to do) to Jess actually got worse. She is not morally superior to him by the end, and he shouldn't have to prove himself to her. It should be the other way around. His happiness matters at least as much as hers does, if not more.

[endreal]

it'd been a long two years since the breakup, and somehow an even longer one year and 354 days since my last date. disheveled and exhausted i stare into the bathroom mirror and think about the words that used to make him laugh before head - as much an inside joke as a brag of sexual prowess. "throat goat mode activate..." i whisper glumly and then pop my evening meds into my mouth, no water. i seal my lips but not before a tiny bleat sneaks past them. i can already feel four teeny tiny hooves scaling the steep walls of my esophagus to investigate and bring the caplets back down to my stomach below.

[deadroses-17]

Here's the thing

I don't want a Prince Charming or a Beautiful Princess to come save me.

I don't want the world.

I don't need the big grand gestures that say "look at all this stuff I got you because I LOVE YOU!".

I don't want to be shown off like a trophy.

I don't need any of it.

BUT

I am not low maintenance.

I want someone who sees flowers when they pick up their daily energy drink and remembers I said they were my favorite so they grab them for me.

I want someone who follows me around adoringly as I look at a bunch of books in a book store when I have twenty un-read ones at home.

I want someone who knows when I've had a bad day and will know to hold me and suggest we watch comforting videos.

I want someone who will patiently walk me through their hobbies so I can love their hobbies as much as I love them.

I want to be able to love as hard as I want without risking looking like a fool.

So no. I won't break your wallet, and I'm not even super pretty or exciting and I won't rock your world. But I'll love you more than anything else you've ever known.

Because yeah I'm high maintenance, but only in the same amount that I am willing to do for you.

[arthur-lesters-right-arm]

Arthur Lester searching up Sex With An Elder God on Ye Ol' Porn'ub in hopes of some sort of instruction

[otome-dissection]

he did Not just fucking say all that

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

[lampochkaart]

I didn't like the new movie, so instead I drew fanart of the comic version of The Game, which in my opinion is SO much better

[eri-pl]

So, Vanyar are the good guys, right?

The boring, faultless Elves?

...except that part where Ingwë (that's the Vanyar king, right? I tend to mistake him with the Teleri one) plays matchmaker so that his sister could marry Finwë despite the fact that Finwë has a wife (who is dead but anyway) and we all know how it ended.

Seriously. In one of the alternate tellings of the story, he knows Indis loves Fnwë, he invites Finwë for a visit and tells Indis to go sing on (the mountain? a balcony? anyway somewhere) and Finwë falls in love and this looks very much planned.

Which is just

just

it was even before the Valar said that Finwë can divorce, that this is even a possibility.

Since I learned about that I have a strong hc that many Vanyar are very "letter of the law", "if it's not forbidden, it is ok" kind of persons, while simultanously blaming the Teleri for not going to Aman fast enough and the Noldor for leaving (I'm not even talking murder, just leaving would be enough) and if they got whatever terrible order signed by the Valar, they would do it without question.

[crimeronan]

spent about forty minutes tonight describing to rafi the premises of the most upsetting/gutwrenching owl house fics i've read and anon-posted myself while they, with increasing exasperation, were like "i deeply respect you guys and your capacity to write whatever you want forever. but also. WHY."

[soundsfaebutokay]

If you're a fic writer and you put a link to a rebloggable tumblr post in the ao3 notes of your fic, I love you I love you I love you. YES I WANT TO REBLOG YOUR FIC and yes if I feel that strongly about it I will track down your tumblr and dig through your archives just to reblog your own fic post from you so that you can see the positive tags and comments OR as a last resort I may make my own rec post but if I don't have to do any of those because there's a handy little link on your ao3 then I love you I love you I love you to the moon and back

[theotherrichardpapen]

there being next to no established canon backstory for basically anyone in this film is tonnes of fun cause you can say stuff like 'i think nigel had a brother he accidentally killed when they were both children' and there's nothing to dispute it

[seamsterspell]

Why do you think Levi only ever said Dedicate your heart to Hange?

What a surprise! Hello there anon!

Oh, I actually like this question very much >:D I’m sure there are many explanations out there by all the amazing people in the fandom regarding this topic. However, since you asked for my opinion, then I will gladly give my two cents regarding this topic.

Let's see if I can put my psychology degree to good use.

Disclaimer: since I'm a levihan slut, I'm sure you know what to expect from this. Also, English is not my first language, so please forgive me if you found any mistakes :D

First of all, we know that Levi had never said “Dedicate your heart” before (as suggested by Hange). 

If that’s the case, then why did he never say that before? Well, I think it’s because he wasn’t your typical by-the-book soldier. Unlike most people in the corps, Levi joined under a special circumstance. We know that he didn’t voluntarily enlist himself as a trainee so he could join the Survey Corps and heroically save humanity from all the titans. Instead, he joined the corps because Erwin personally scouted him. Because of that, he didn't have any particular or specific reason to join it in the first place (unlike let’s say Eren or even Hange), he even planned on quitting the corps at one point. His reason for staying in the corps—other than his belief in Erwin—was just as simple as: “I like the fresh air of the outside world.”

EDIT: Okay, I just want to make myself clear. I'm not saying that his motivation in joining the corps was so shallow or even implying that he does not care a bit for humanity. He cares obviously, if he didn't then we would not have Captain Levi in our SNK story. What I meant by my statement above was to highlight how simple he was as a soldier. Like, he didn't need a grand motivation to join in the first place, because he just knew that staying in the corps was the good thing to do. He risked his life everyday in battles just for a simple wish of breathing the fresh air. He wanted the people in the wall to be free from the stinky air, because for him freedom is in the mundane things in life. To quote my other post: "His simplicity is what makes him kind."

Also, I made a follow-up post regarding my interpretation of Levi's character here. You don't have to read it, but if you want to know how I see Levi as a character, I hope that post can help.

But anyway, since he was scouted under a special condition (as well as having enormous strength as a soldier), I think he somehow had a privilege in the corps to fuck around and be as “disrespectful” as he wanted to be. Not to mention Erwin became a commander around a year after Levi joined, so my man was probably living his best nepotism/VIP life. Therefore, I would think that Levi wasn’t as strict with the rules as other soldiers. He wasn’t the kind of soldier who kept preaching about "dedicate your life" to others. He just came to work, did his job, and went home (just like me fr). I’m not saying he doesn’t care about humanity (he cares obviously) it’s just he doesn’t express it in a traditional soldier way.

No wonder we all were so surprised when he did say THAT WORDS to Hange. It wasn't like him at all. Even Hange was caught off guard by him saying it, right?

But then, this raises another question, why is it when he finally said it, he only said it to Hange? Why, for instance, he didn’t say it to Erwin? I mean, both Erwin and Hange went on a suicide mission. Moreover, out of all the people that we know in the story, we can see that Levi shares many significant moments in the narrative with these two. If that’s the case, then why did he say different things to each of them?

For me, the answer is quite simple, it’s because Levi is an empathetic person. Both “Give up on your dreams and die for us” and “Dedicate your heart” that he said to Erwin and Hange respectively were something that he believed they needed to hear at THAT moment. It was his last words for them right before they died, his last comfort.

He told Erwin to give up on his dreams and die because at that moment, when their troops were cornered by the beast titan, Erwin showed his vulnerable side to Levi. Erwin admitted that he actually had a plan (albeit a suicidal one for him and the rest of the soldiers) to defeat the beast titan but he withheld it at first because: 1) he didn’t want to die because he wanted to see the basement; and 2) he didn’t want to send any more soldiers into their death because he was being haunted by the ghost of the past soldiers who had dedicated their heart to his plan.

Therefore, Levi, out of his compassion for Erwin, took the burden of making that painful choice from Erwin’s hand. He even made a promise to kill the beast titan, as if to say that all of their death wouldn’t be in vain. He said it to make Erwin feel better, which is why Erwin smiled after Levi said that. 

I think the same explanation can be said for Hange's situation. However, to understand why he only said “Dedicate your heart” to Hange, I think we need to talk about the nature of their relationship first. First of all, they were close friends, that is obvious. They had known each other for quite a long time and they had gone on many missions together (and survived), so their bond was strong. To quote Moblit from that one Smartpass AU he shares with Levi: “[Levi and Hange have] a special kind of bond from spending many years together. It’s something that Moblit didn't have with [Hange].”

Speaking of Levi, one of the things that I feel people tend to overlook from Levi is his caring nature. He cares for his squads, for humanity as a whole, and especially for his trusted comrades (e.g. Erwin and Hange). However, since he isn’t exactly a very eloquent person, he has a weird way of showing his affection, like when he told Erwin that he would break his legs so he didn't have to join the dangerous operation to retake Shiganshina. Fortunately, since Erwin knew Levi’s character, he understood the meaning behind his words. Although for most people, it was probably hard to tell. 

Other than Erwin, the other person who could see Levi’s kindness was of course Hange—who also received a lot of care from Levi. It might be because of the nature of her job (getting too close to titans for her experiments + her role as a commander later) and because of her tendency to be a little bit reckless as well as forgetful of taking care of herself when excited (which was why she had Moblit by her side) that made Levi feel the need to pay a lot of attention to her.

And by a lot, I mean A LOT. 

This is just my opinion, but in the canon, I noticed that Levi is actually the one who expresses or initiates a lot of actions toward Hange (believe me, my man is working overtime):

Asking about her new “hobby” in rocks (after Annie’s capture).

Noticing her distress after Pastor Nick’s death and trying to lift her spirit up.

Calming her down when she was upset at Keith Shadis when he finally told the truth about Grisha's past & his reason for leaving his commander position in Survey Corps.

Thinking about Hange’s safety during missions (after Bertholdt’s transformation in Shiganshina and when she was attacked by one of Kenny’s men in the Reiss Chapel).

Telling her to not touch some random things at the beach.

Telling Moblit to take care of Hange because he can't be always by her side (Smartpass AU)

Knocking Hange out to forcibly bathe her (Smartpass AU). Also, the way he worded it in a way that "yeah I don't like her filthiness when I'm off-duty, so I took it upon myself to clean her." I see you...

Levi saving Hange from being hit on the head by a bunch of books + telling her to change her wet clothes (Smartpass AU)

Well you get what I mean. Anyway—at least for me—he doesn’t seem to do this solely because of Hange’s lack of self-care. I think he shows a lot of care for Hange because she’s important to him, which is of course exacerbated when they became the last two veterans to survive after the operation to take back Shiganshina. After so much lost, he clearly saw her as the last person he’s close to. I mean, in one of the Smartpass AU, she was the first person that came to his mind when he was asked about his family.

Not only that, I think he generally likes Hange as a person because she saw him for who he truly was. Like, remember their first meeting, Hange was the only one who was willing to approach Levi (while everyone was sceptical of him) and she did it purely out of admiration. She genuinely was impressed by him and wanted to get to know him better. A gesture that might be alien to Levi, which explains why he was unsure at first about Hange, but it seemed after many missions together, Hange was eventually able to earn his trust. Hange became a person who could freely tease him (him being a clean freak + their poop jokes) as well as became a walking dictionary for him (the way she translates Levi's words to Eren).

On the other hand, contrary to Levi, I noticed that Hange tend to be more neutral with Levi. I’m not saying that Hange did not care for him. I mean, when she found his injured body, she became so protective of him that she willingly risked her life by jumping into the lake so she could save him.

There was also this one scene of her trying to comfort him when he learned that titans was actually a human. Moreover, she also considered him to be her closest friend in the Survey Corps.

I believe she rarely showed her caring side to him because she knew that he is a capable fellow, and so she didn’t think he needed her help in particular. I don't think she had ever think that this man, the strongest man in the world, would ever sustain a horrible injury or even die. Sadly, she thought wrong. When she found his injured and dying body (chapter 115), Hange had to face a horrible realisation that she could actually lose him.

Then, in chapter 126, we finally saw Hange taking care of Levi. She killed two soldiers to protect them. She also tended and healed his injury with so much care. In my opinion, being confronted by the mortality of the only person that she had left in the world, Hange most likely learned—the hard way—about how important Levi had actually become to her. Thus she was willing to do anything for him.

When this realisation mixed with her exhaustion from the war, she finally reached her breaking point. With no one but an unconscious Levi by her side, the passionate-happy-go-lucky researcher and the ever-so-composed commander of the Survey Corps found herself gradually letting down her guard to show her weakness, her feelings. In her vulnerability, she weakly expressed how she would rather live with him in the woods, away from the chaos outside. Like, can you believe this Hange, who always fought for humanity’s sake said, “Humanity be damned, I would rather spend the time I have left with you.” 

I think this explains why her confession in chapter 126 caught us (the fandom) off guard, because not only it was out of character for her, but also for the first time, she showed her feelings to Levi.

Later we know that Levi heard about her “confession” but since he also knew that Hange would never ever run away, he instead encouraged her to do the things that she believed in, and that was to stop Eren from committing genocide. However, I think her words had never left him, even after they left the woods. Because as you can see in chapter 132, he somehow made a seemingly random remark to her about how her feelings are not always unrequited. As if he knew which feelings of her that is requited. 

Consequently, we finally came to the big question. We see in chapter 132 that before Hange embarked on her suicide mission, Levi did something that was so out of character for him. He touched her heart and said, “Dedicate your heart”.

Why did he do this?

To repeat my answer above, it’s most likely because he knew that it was exactly the things that she needed to hear the most. So he said it out of empathy. But isn’t it too short or even too formal for a goodbye between two close friends? Well, we have to take into consideration that Hange could read Levi like a book (remember their iconic telepathy?). She could easily translate his roundabout words and expressions, thus he didn’t need to write an essay for her. Which is why “dedicate your heart” was more than enough for both of them.

Moreover, I also infer that the reason why he never said “Dedicate your heart” while he was a soldier before was because he probably thought that he didn't necessarily have to give his heart to the corps and humanity. Again, he didn't have a grand reason to fight in the first place, and so he just wanted to do what he thought was good: to lend all his strength to help humanity. Therefore, by saying it for the first time in front of her, he seemingly wanted to show her how important and special she was to him. As if he was saying that he wants to dedicate himself only to her.

Hence, his gesture and words to Hange combined with all the preceding events (especially events in chapters 126 and 132), I could say that behind those three words, he was actually telling her: “Hey, the things you said in the woods, it was not unrequited. I actually feel the same way as you. I want to live with you as well, which is why I don't want you to go. However, I know I can't stop you because you’ve dedicated your heart to the freedom of humanity. So, I’ll let you go, but before you go I want you to know that you’re the only person I’m dedicating my heart to. My heart is yours.”

I'm not Hange so I don't think my translation is accurate HAHA but that's how I see it.

In conclusion, Levi had only ever said Dedicate your heart to Hange because: 1) he knew it would make her feel better/happy and special; and 2) it was also his answer to her soliloquy in the woods (it was his way of telling her that they share mutual feelings).

-----

So yeah, that’s my opinion. I hope I was able to express myself clearly :D

Also, I can't believe you are asking me this, anon. No one ever asked me about my opinion before. Usually, people come for me for my silly fanfic(s) xD 

ANYWAY, your question is very much appreciated! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts regarding Levi, especially his relationship with Hange. This was fun to write (and research!), I really enjoyed the process!

Although it was a bit painful too tbh because I had to reopen my old wound by rereading chapters 126 and 132 :') You did it anon, you made me cry... at 12.30 AM T_T)b

[dootznbootz]

Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

[thought-42]

Writing an outsiders pov (Ezra's) of Thrawn's history is hilariouss because without the context we get as the reader it's like: "I committed a number of war crimes so I was exiled to a planet with no spacefairing capability or technology. But don't worry it was actually a secret mission to go investigate the authoritarian Empire that just rose up literally over night with no explicable explanation from the midst of a civil war in Lesser Space to see if they will come help us against an alien invasion force that I can barely proove exists." and the only rational response is 'you were definitely supposed to die of exposure within three months of being dropped off on that planet bud'

[kindlythevoid]

Don't you hate it when you read an old WIP (that you made, mind you) and you're reading it and it's good and fun and interesting (even if it could use an edit or two here and there) and then it just--

ENDS!?

Like who decided it could end t h a t early when it CLEARLY had a lot--!?

Oh.